Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 58: Crown of Thorns (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: April 11, 2019

The Band of Boobs return to the Autumn Court to make good on their promise to Princess Jovyre. Bev confronts his father, Moonshine puts on a fireworks show, and Hardwon self-medicates. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."King Lestibourne" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford."The Autumn Court" by Emily Axford."An Innocent Flirtation" by Emily Axford."Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."MeeMaw's Burden" by Emily Axford. "The Nannerfly Effect" by Emily Axford. "Bittersweet Sixteen" by Emily Axford. "The Gunslinger's Girl" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford. "Beverly's House" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's a Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."The Widow" by Emily Axford. "Flying Through the Night" by Emily Axford."A Hard Goodbye" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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They're going to sell out fast. Also, a reminder that after this week's episode, right now, click on our live tab and pick up your tickets. They're going to sell out fast. Also, a reminder that after this week's episode, we'll be doing Trinivills for the next two weeks, as well as a Q&A episode. We'll be soliciting questions for that on our Patreon and our Twitter at NADPod. Thanks everybody, on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.

This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Bahumia. I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwits. Hard one, Surefoot. Emily Axford. Moon Chan Sabin. Dirty daughter of a dirty dad.

That's the way, me what does dirty. And Carl Doltaner. Beverly Togo, the fifth, a rad laddy with a demon daddy? Ooh, who's that dirty or? We got him a dirt off. True. We got two dirty daddies and I don't know what to do.

I'm more concerned with that which stains the slacks rather than the soul, you know? Well put, well put. Guys, let's see a little recap. So last week, you flew your goblin flying machine to the winter court to find the tower where the unceilig had locked King Leciborne away. When you finally found it, you saw that a battle was already underway. Chosen angels and unsealied soldiers were working together to defend the tower against devils and the undead. You used the distraction to fly directly up to the tower but got caught up

in a few scuffles along the way. One saw Bev senior, misty step out of the chopper and start fighting the chosen captain, Barrett, Brisedon, Mid-Air. When he finally made it to the tower, he flew up to King Lecesterborn's chamber and saw all kinds of carvings on the walls about the yalla and the light, showing the extent of his madness. Queen Ezra was there comforting him, and you went to battle against her during the fight. Ezra used her powers as a mind reader and seared to pluck memories from you and reveal horrible truths. Hard one learns that by killing Galad, he had unwittingly sent him to Shadowfell to rule in Theolus's stead, to make matters worse the widow ended up in the same place and is

currently his prisoner. Bev learns that the attack on the tower by the forces of the Nine Hells was no coincidence that his father had made a deal with Akarad to ensure that the Aalik did not control the Feywild. Perhaps worst of all, moonshine found out that she is half high elf. Disgusting. How will I face myself in the mirror? We all feel awful for you. Don't look at me hard one, I'm hideous. After a battle that saw everyone become super depressed and nearly cursed with heartbreak,

you finally dealt the killing blow that ended Queen Ezra. But when King Lesterborn saw what you'd done, the mad king took off towards the window. And that's where we are now. Later. Okay, so King Lesterborn has bolted for the other side of the room. He has taken a full 60 foot dash. He gets up to a window on the other side of the room. What do you guys do?

Can we do a raw roll to see if he trips on me? Um, no, he, no. Okay. He wasn't even in the battle. He was up on the bed, Sturdo. He's watching the whole time. I cast Long Strider on hardwant. You must slap on the button.

It's like, go get him. Yeah. Okay. Hardwant. He's but juice. Hardwant, go ahead and roll initiative against King Leastaborne and see if he gets out the window before you can get to him.

14. He got a 12. so you are first. Long strider, how fast can you run with long strider? So my speed's 30, so 40. So hard one, you're able to run 80 feet. You get to the window right before him. Cool, I just sort of stick my palm out and a pavis forehead so I can't get behind you.

You see, he puts on the brakes and kind of stops my palm out and uh, palm his forehead so I can't get back. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I hate the all the talk to our tower their enemies of the lights. Oh Yeah, we're definitely enemy of we're in enemy of the life Yes, then yeah, let's go more and take his crown off go ahead and do a grapple check against him. He's gonna try to scramble away. 15. 15. He got a 17. He squirms out and pushes you away from him. You saw as you were going to reach over to grab his crown

that much like all these other fave people, it is in his head. Okay, there was a flaw to my right hand. I admit that now. Okay, so maybe, I mean, we, I feel like we just need to get him away from the exercise from right, the spot, right? Like, should we put him in the bag and sneak him up to the, maybe, like, ship? Yeah, maybe so. That is still idling up there,ing our music. Yeah, I have sand. You see he rushes for another window.

Run, I saw Blanc's long strider. I went to that, I rushed to the window. Go ahead and make another initiative, check against him. I rolled a nat 5. Okay, I had a 16. Hard one, you get there first again. You get further. Stop, I just want to end it.

I just don't want to hear it anymore. We're gonna help you. Okay, the owl is not your friend. Where are your friends? You're only the goddess can help me only. Don't be a bag. I want to try and show them in the bag. Got it. Go ahead and roll a grapple check against him. 9. Wait, 10. 10. He squirms away again. Hi, Ches. Hi, I'm sorry.

He starts rushing through a window. Bounder is gonna go and try to fuck it tackle and Bounder form tackles him. Fucking 24 athletics check. Just like wraps the legs, King Lesterboard hits his head on the ground. Stop it, just let me go. It would have felt really good to do that myself.

I feel a little shame. I feel a shadow of shame from what Queen Ezra put inside me. You're being cool. You're being cool. Thanks, Harlow. Bounder and Lesterbord are just scrapping. Bounder is just saying, oh, Bounder is definitely, he's got that dad strength

about holding a small, swiggling child. Bounder's grappling, can I go over and cast? Unfortunately, I only have a first level, can I cast a first level on cure wounds on Beverly? Oh, sure, that'd be great. Yeah, thank you. So you guys see, after a bit, Balnor is wrestling with King Leicesterborn.

He has him like grappled, but Leicesterborn's trying to get away. Stop it, you cannot help me. No one can save me except for the goddess. Can I try and touch my hands to the temples of his crown and try and excise this false light? Go ahead and make a religion check. OK.

Does he get advantage because he said excise this false light? No. He's up against a pretty tough. 17? 17. Bev, I'll say you're able to calm him down a little bit. Okay. You put your hands over his ears.

You see white light comes out of your hand. Hell or whispers. Hey, chill out, bud. You're not being cool. Ha, ha, ha. Perhaps this is the goddess working in some kind of mysterious way. You're kind of freaking everyone out, bud. Oh yeah. Maybe just go sit down on the couch, my man. Have we tried that? Have we tried rapport spores in him? Oh. He's saying hello.

This is the Allah. Yeah, we're the Allah. If somebody would like to make a deception, I love reals. Go ahead and pretend. I got an eight. Oh, Jesus Christ. Wake. Hi, it's me, the other. Welcome to my wicked circus.

Devil, she's free. And he runs for the win Hard one doing it. I did it. Check against it. I was just trying that six from me. So I don't 22 hard one You get in front of him. Okay. I get him. I want to get in front of him like like you know like a Matador with with the bag like you know like a Matador with with the bag and just have him run Can we can we dog pile them and then just like yeah you guys can absolutely like tag like baller Which is physically trying to yeah, let's hog time. Let's roast me. Go ahead and make grapple checks Okay, that's an htural 20 um Bev you fucking kick this dude's ass. You're just I just rolled a 19 and an 18 I know it's not a natural 20, but I just felt good about it

I will say I will say Bev formed tackles after watching Bell Nour do it. Tackles, Lestaborn perfectly, he falls down. Lestaborn starts to get back up and moonshine just like picks him up and power bombs him back down. And then Bev gets on top of him and just holds him down. I'm junior rodeo champing in. I was invented at the group. You hog time. And after a bit bit you guys see

Bev senior rushes up the stairs. He's got like Blood on him like he's been a trapezoid You see he's got two Death Knight looking guys behind him these guys in Black armor and like pale skin They look a little bit like the acorats night guys but they don't have the sunken in eyes. They're just like dead

dudes. It bev's senior rushes in. How many goes? Oh you did it gang., we did it. It came at a high cost though. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, these devils followed me in. Yeah, should we kill these foes who followed you here? Well, you know what, we'll let you kill those devils foes cause it's sort of your fight. We'll just sit back and watch and give you support if you need it, but I bet you want to take it on your own.

Pass them in that creek water. Let's watch this one. Yeah, let's do it. Take a hold. Dang, you know what? Bound art tabletop. Let's get some bleachers going. Easy, guys.

Dad, we know. We know what you did. You see Bev Senior looks down at the crown, looks at you guys. He knows what Queen Ezra's capable of. And he holds his hand up. And you see that he's essentially commanding these Death Knight guys,

and he motions for them to stand back and she these death night guys walk back around the corner and leave the room and he sighs and he goes the allah stole our homebath she's told so much. She's winning. I couldn't. I couldn't have helped you without... without Akarad, without... without his power. You know there's other ways. There has to be. I didn't see one at the time. Maybe that's the difference between us.

Maybe that'll always be the difference. See he nods and he goes, I hope so carot promise that if I were to join them, they'd help you get the unceilig crown and stop the Allah from taking over the Feywild. They're not gonna hurt you here. What are you owe them now? Yeah, that's what I want to know. Number four.

I owe them me. That's not a price we can pay. Does that mean that? That's too steep. I mean, does that mean that you owe them you after a nice healthy retirement with your beautiful wife. Yeah. Like once after you died. How do I go home?

Natural death and an armchair with the... That sounds pretty nice. You better think about what you will mark the toe goal. Yeah. It does sound nice. How do I go home? And what do I tell mom? You tell her the truth, Bev.

You tell your mom that I died in the Feywild. You know I'm bad at lying. It's not a lie, Beth. My soul is lost. You're asking me to goof, Mom? You know I hate goofs, Beth. I want to hug him, but I'm scared to touch him. Don't. You see as you start to step forward, but I'm scared to touch him. Don't.

You see, as you start to step forward, he holds his hand up. He got to get used to this buff. The next time you see me, I'll be different. What's Mr. Togold? I said I was going to bring you back to Martha Togold, and I do not. This does not sit right with me. I pray that you figure out a way to win all this. I'm betting everything on it.

Did you sign your name in a book like Maribel? See he nods. There's never just two sides, Dad. We're lost in a sea of gray, and we're going to pull you out. We've pulled out others. You can't just count on up or down. You've got to always write yourself towards what you know in your heart. And we'll find you there.

I promise you that. Go! I've seen your nods. He turns to the death night dudes that are standing near him and he goes, come on, you knuckleheads. The deal was that we couldn't hurt these guys here. And you see, he just looks down. He can't even say goodbye to you guys. And he, you see, like, acarot when he escaped the frigid north. When you guys were atop that mountain, you guys see, like, flames and black smoke. And he disappears.

And you see the death night guys. You see their armor just falls down, splats as those guys disappear. I turn to Hardwaad and Moonshine and Balnor. And I say, looks like Akraut moved up a little higher on our list, huh? Yeah.

Bev, I don't want you to be mad at your dad for what he did, because I don't know. He's a father, and when you're a father and you got someone dependent on you, you make choices differently. And I just, I want you to know that we now have it in our power to prove that he was right to make his decision seem like the right decision. He's given us a gift that no one should ever have to give. I know. And of course I mad at him, but at the same time,

I mad at myself because he had the strength to do something that I couldn't. No, Bev. Okay. You should not be doing that. What he did was the sacrifice of a father, not the sacrifice of a son. Maybe you're right, but that's right. He made promises. I just... I just...

I just... I just... I just... I just... I just... I just... I just... I just...

I just... I just... I just... I just... I just... I just... It's not their time. It's not your dad's time. It's not the oldest time. It's not Alonist's time. Your dad is trying to clear the way so that you can do some good, so. If anything, what he did, I don't wanna glamorize it because it's not a great thing, but what he did expresses the utmost confidence in you. And that should feel pretty good in your back pocket.

I, um, there's like a candle in the middle of the room, right? Yes, there is a, um, there's a blue torch. Okay. Um, I kind of walked towards it. Okay. You know, I always thought it was weird that the fire elemental chose me. It seemed like a natural fit for someone who's pledged themselves to nature. But from ash, new things can grow. From this day forth, I'm no longer a green knight. I'm a gray knight. I walk in the mist trying to write what can't be white and what can't be black.

I walk in between to try and find the truth that must be found. Will you walk with me? I'm there, baby. I grab some of the ash from the lantern and I put it under my eyes. I do the same. I join you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you.

I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you.

I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you.

I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. I'm walking with you. from the palette. Dammit, that's true. Maybe the other option is world is fucking colorful and we get to decide what colors we paint it with. Okay, I like that better. I rub off the gray. No, but the gray look good though. You look godf forward, but I want you to have a goth phase. In fact, Papa's already peeing your toenails black. Right. All right, yeah, let's lean in. Ha, ha, ha.

Papa does give you a pedicure and a manicure black. I needed that. I needed a night in. Rainier. Meanwhile, Lesterborn is suffocating in the bag. Oh, let's give him some air, give him some air, real quick struggle, sweating bags in. Just touch.

You guys climb back out the window, back onto the tower. You see that your flying machine is still there. The battle has ceased. You see with Bev Senior having completed what he said that he was going to do, which was to stop the chosen from getting the crown and taking over the Feywild, that the undead and the devils have stopped their attack.

They have disappeared. You see tons of dead drow and dead femorians and dead cyclopses and such. Wow, victory swells upon my breast. We did it, gang. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Well, make sure that things remain whatever. Oh, by the way, you guys, so there's this crown of thorns. How do you guys handle this? Oh, I think we had a boundor put it in the bag. Yeah, got it. Okay, so you guys have boundor wrap it up and you know what, boundor wraps it up,

keeps it away from- Can we just put it away from- So that it's not like loose in the bag with King Lesterborn? I say he's gonna keep it away from King Lesterborn. He just full on has it covered in like a cloth in one hand and has King Leastaborn over his shoulder in the bag of holding. That's right.

You guys get up to the flying machine. Okay. It is still there. It is damaged, but it is not damaged beyond being able to use it. Wow, it's a metaphor for all of us right now. That's true. Damn, makes you think.

I broke it, but not defeated. Yeah, let's get on this bitch. We got I feel good about keeping our promise to Jovey. So I say we shuttle this here. Yeah. Brown back to might be our best bet. I think I got just the song. I think I got just the song. You guys. Follow me up a million times. I have the pictures so email. Can we say that? Can we say that each of us has like a different port window

that we look out separately? Nobody's flying the plane. Yeah. It's just bound or solemnly flying the plane. Dun-dun-dun-dun. Bad night at the club game. Good. play. Yeah, it's just Bound or solemnly flying the plane. Bad night at the club game. Yes, you guys take off and this flying machine head towards the autumn court, after a little bit, you guys let King lester born out of the bag. And Bound or just hogties them. And you guys just have the king tied up there.

Who put this crown on you at first? Was it always your crown? Did someone curse your crown or is this a cursed crown in itself? I'm gonna roll to see if his madness fogs his memory so he's gonna roll with disadvantage on like a history check and you see he looks incredibly confused and he goes I've had the crown for a long time but I didn't hear the voices until recently I see yeah crank. Going nowhere. Yeah, crank it. It feels good. Yeah, it feels right. Sometimes a sad song really feeds the sad, but in a way that feels pleasurable, anyways,

back to the crown. I think it's clear that theala is poison this crown because this doesn't seem like the workings of the Fey. This seems like external. Has your goddess theala been to the Faye while? Good question. He looks up at you and his eyes go wide and he goes, she's everywhere, she can see everything,

she can speak to us in our minds. We've sinned in the summer court, we've sinned. I was supposed to be with Queen Ezra, this is your ruining everything. I think there's another queen that needs you more than Ezra does. Yeah. And I, oh, I minor illusion a picture of Queen Cerilla.

Okay. Hold it up to him. Go ahead and make a, I guess, either make a deception or a persuasion check. I'll say your minor illusion is powerful enough to do that. You know what she looks like. Roll the one. Okay. But I'm gonna reroll it.

That's a persuasion. Mm-hmm. 22. Shit. Yeah. Okay, you hold the picture in front of him. You see he looks at it. And he goes, that was so long ago,

but I remember her. Not too long. Past is never as far away as you think it is. You see, he holds his hands to his head. Almost always. And you see, he goes from being kind of hyperventilating manic to falling into a depressed slumber. So I like to pretend that he's mostly in the bag except for his head.

So he's like sleeping back. I want to tuck him into the bag. That's very sweet. I'm going to brush his hair so we wait for it to feel so Oh, that's very sweet. I'm gonna brush his hair So we wait except it feels very nice That's very nice of you. So you guys travel for hours You know that this goblin flying machine is quite quick and You guys will be able to get to the autumn court and about another day. Is there anything you guys want to do over the next day? Well rest I guess guess. Sure.

Yeah, let's circle up and just sort of. Yeah, like see where we're at? Mm-hmm. That's true. We kind of brushed over everyone's traumatic experiences. I would like for everyone to have the time to share. Enter the, you know, a voluntary zone of truth. Ha-ha-ha!

Can you go through the pomp and circumstance of casting it though? I do, I do the little dance. Okay, and then I just intentionally failed to say thank you. I'll pretend like I don't want to tell it. I don't want to confess. So I guess, you know, we know where I'm at, but moonshine, you know, you had a pretty traumatic experience as well. Oh, don't worry about me.

I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine. I mean, my dad is a high elf and my folk are currently seeking entry to his quote unquote prestigious kingdom and he's not helping to let them in. So that's kind of fucked up and that makes me feel a little vengeful. But there's a couple more, there's a couple of meteor things on my plate right now. It's pretty true. It's a mere sad dish.

But I do think there's some information we've got to collect there. But you know what, you're, M she's she's a freak, you know, yeah, so like I'm honestly Excited to hear what she saw in this freak, you know, she's got to have a good. Yeah He's even like the one high off the party so you could have like a tractor in his yard He could like he'd be dead. I mean, maybe that's why you just You know what I mean that you bring be right. Bring down the mood. What? Well, I'm just then we, me and you,

you'd have something to comment. Dead, dad, club, yeah. I'm really glad. Not that we need anything in common. No, no, no, no. Because you got genuine one. Yeah. Yeah.

No, it's the part that I hang out to my dad, girl. Yeah, I do. I don't know. I guess, is there anything else we need to talk about? Anything that happened during the battle? Downlar, what did you see? So these two guys making out a little bit. Make out.

No, I meant like when you saw the eye, when you went into your frozen prison. Oh, yeah. It wasn't worse than what you saw when you had your eyes open. He gives a thousand yard. He gives a thousand yard stair. She really went in on me on the stuff and with the suck you buy,

apparently moonshine doesn't really like me, which is just insane. We had a relationship, we broke up, we got past it, that's fine. Step into the zone, my friend. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like- That is what you truthfully believe.

It feels like you weren't out so much in get back to the same place as you were. She talked about the hidden village, but I already knew all that. I already knew all the bad stuff, but you really went in on me about moonshot. I'm not really liking me. I mean, you know what? Deep down, I knew it. I knew that moonshot didn't actually like me, but I just, I guess at the time before I remembered where I came from, I just, I

wanted somebody to care about me. You know what I mean? I mean, I carry the bags and that's important. But like, Valnor, I do like you. I do care about you. I don't want to make out with you, but care about someone's about a lot more than that. I agree Okay, so you get you like you got me you got what you want from me, you know Jack you're my best friend You're my best friend to ballon or we're best friends. I'm a great. I'm kind of real I'm looking at Ben really in hard one. I'm giving you a very crooked thumbs up.

I kind of like wedge myself between you two and be like, ah hug sandwich. I'm the tuna. Yeah, the whole best friend. Yeah, all best friend. Now all we need is a mayo nut and a nut and a dry. Hey, hey everybody. So hard all we need is a Mayona, a Nondrive. Hey, yeah, all right, hey everybody. So hard one, what's your thing?

Yeah, or yet. Oh, so interestingly enough, well, obviously you guys know of one thing about me, everything I love dies. All right, so stay away, his is. Oh, so, this is sad laugh we're doing. way his is. Also, so, the sad laugh we're doing. Yeah, my, my mother, when I damped her by killing Galad, I didn't just damp her. I also blessed glad in a way. So now he rules over wherever she

is trapped. She is his prisoner. Shadowfum. He seems, yeah, he's sitting on a big old chair, neither. Yeah, he's thriving. He's brought your water. Hard want, I'm gonna ask you a delk question. It might sound insensible, but my things have turned out differently if you just let him suck your dick. I honestly. Did that cross your mind? Yeah, I wish I let him suck your dick. I honestly did that cross your mind.

Yeah, I wish I let him blow me. I wish I let him blow me. If I could do things over again, I would have gotten head from galad and my mother would be alive and well. And would have been interested in sight to me at least. It's important to say that one. You see, Boundo was not there at all

during your collateron adventures, just nodding, yeah, yeah. Get head from galette. Oh, that's true. You got literal head from him instead of getting head. Oh, right, yeah. You see this tiny little mumfied head that I carry around right on?

It shrunk, it broke. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So he tried to blow me to survive. I was not having it. I was a little blood thirsty. I killed him thinking that would be the end of that. Turns out I'd have my mother, Jesus prisoner.

All right. So I guess we're all going to Shadow fell, right? Yeah, I want, I'm letting you know, if we're going head hunting, like. Hey, two heads, better than one. It's not really a extra joke on that. Three heads, better than two, four heads, better than three.

That's right, we're the bulldogs. Oh, I don't know, I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, oh're the bulldogs. Oh, the real hounds. The real hounds. The real hounds. Ha, ha, ha. Ha. That's right. We should try to see the dog.

We should try to start a gang named C. But catch his on that we're the hounds now. Oh, we should just be the hounds. We just got it. We killed him. Oh, boob hounds. Boob hounds. Boob hounds.

We love boob hounds. That's boob hounds. Now when you put the words together, it's no good. It'shounds. Boobhounds. That's what we love boobhounds. You know, when you put the words together, it doesn't sound good. It's no good. Let's workshop that. Let's workshop that. Yeah, we've got some time. You see, Boundar thinks about it, and he goes, you know. How do you get to Shadowfell?

I don't know how to get to Shadowfell, but if it's anything like the Feywild, maybe time goes a little differently. We might actually have time to go deal with that. Now might be a better time than ever. Way less than a day has passed in the mortal realm. Feels like a lot of times clicked. Ticked off my clock.

Oh, it's been a rough week. Yeah. I think this, yeah. So, oh, that's just hard to think about. No, thank you. So you're saying we might have time now. Now is our best opportunity to go to Shadowfell. I mean, I think we can talk to Princess Jovier

see if she has any, you know, what I'm gonna say on it, but. I'm gonna level with y'all. Now, at least emotionally, it's the best time for me to go to Shadowfell because I am on that level. Yeah, I feel like I'm there too. Yeah, exactly.

In fact, maybe I might just fucking stay there. We'll see once we get down there. Honestly, what could be worse than this? You guys know with all those skeletons walking around, you know what might hurt them? Bunch of nasty hounds. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh put it out there. I know we've been sleeping separately, but... Do we set down or are we flying through the night? You guys are flying through the night. You guys can like take shifts.

Okay. But you guys can definitely cuddle up in the seats in the passenger seat. So even if you're up keeping watch, you just do it from the bed. Yeah, see Balnor takes first watch. Balnor is just moving the levers, just kind of like watching,

making sure that you guys are heading east, just as like hand back on you guys as you're sleeping. Somebody else goes and takes his place, does the same things. Like touching a toe. Yeah, just like touching, holding hands with like one person. Keeping the energy of the one big bed going. Yeah, it's important, it's tradition. Yeah. Papa tries to be like the co-pilot for a while. He's been the energy of the one big bad guy. Yeah, it's important. It's tradition.

Yeah. Papa tries to be like the copilot for a while. He's super sleepy. He wipes the sleeping shirt. Papa, wait, I need to have a little, I need to have a little one on one time with Papa. Rainier. Papa, what did you see? Rainier.

He points to you. Rainier. You saw me? Rainier. Well, what's bad about me? Well, he shakes bad about me? He shakes his head. Riiiimimeere!

She didn't show you anything to hurt your heart? Meere! He holds his heart and then he touches your heart. Oh, come here. Uh, dirty little scoundrel. Get in! Get in, tape! He scrambles up to you and he starts seriously licking your face. Oh, my little baby.

Damn. Sweet scramble bed. Warm our bed into our hearts. So you guys take turns resting. You guys rotate the pilot spot. And you guys eventually get back to the autumn court. You guys see the sun has risen, it's back at sunset. You guys begin to see the autumnal forest sprouts out underneath you.

You're no longer in the dead barren wasteland that is the winter court. And you guys approach the autumn court proper and you see the settlement. And we can just fly in, we don't have to solve some puzzles anymore. No, you guys are free to fly in. Yeah, I think let's just land it honestly.

I don't think we have anything to hide. Yep, yeah, radical truth. I mean, yeah, we got, I think there's another operation on this lad. Should we do that thing where like, like you know like when like returning soldiers like walk through the village and everyone And like they look really sad and but drag all and they're like bringing their quote unquote dead But we're just bringing lesterborn So she's like a sad

procession. Well, we've also got the crown. It's also slow mo So maybe we could be like holding that on a little pillow or something you're right Maybe we need a little victory. Yeah, Papa. So maybe we could be like holding that on a little pillow or something. You're right. Maybe we need a little victory. Yeah. Papa, someone's a pillow. Man, ran, ran, ran. Oh, I know. Also a loin cloth.

But you can take your time with that. Oh, actually, Papa's got some sketches. I told him about that and he sketched up some loin cloths. Oh, wow. Oh, my god. Which one you feel in? I love them all. This is great.

This one's the shortest. This is going to drop your AC by about four It looks like but Papa doesn't need to take a couple measurements mainly of the length of your balls Great, I will use all three luck points Really long balls a one a one and three Balls a one a one and three fuck You have a three inch long ball sack. It's not bad. It's fine. Honestly, it's Could be weirder I guess big balls. I don't know. I don't know how long a normal sack would be I don't know why anyone would care

Pause the so it all look it up Do you know see what's normal and I need to be bigger? I need to be bigger than normal. So you guys do Operation Honest Lad and you guys just land your flying machine in the autumn court and you guys see as you're approaching people begin to gather. You see autumn, alladadren, and Goblins are all looking up at you guys as you guys start descending from the sky

and they're fucking cheering. Cool. Okay. Okay. I'm still fucked by Queen Ezra, so I'm like, sir, I'm looking if there's another shit behind us. I pull out my flute and I play a sad song. I hand Moonshine King Lesterborn to carry

like a newborn through the city. Okay, I put him in a little baby gourd. They are speaking delicate with you. Lester Bjorn. Lester Bjorn. Moonshine makes a King Lester Bjorn. So you guys land the flying machine. You guys are greeted by a bunch of guards and goblins who are super psyched.

People come up and pat you guys on the shoulders. You see a bunch of guards push people out of the way to get to you and start ushering you towards the main keep, the main hall. You've got it. You've gotten the crown. You've saved King Lesterborn. How well? I don't know. I'll save someone, you know.

Can't save everyone, but. You know what? Enjoy your lives. Life is really precious, especially when you're weird, when you're living with Blonders on. This guy just goes, yeah, totally. We're just not gonna talk as we walk towards the hall. Happy best.

That's good, actually. Most people that talk to me wind up at that cell. I'm gonna get you close. You're all so depressed. I don't wanna know what happened. You guys are brought back to this main big banquet hall. It's got these Longwood tables. The whole hall is adorned with fur, candles,

and torches light the room. And up on a little platform is Princess Jovier. And you see there are a lagerin and goblins lining both sides of the hall. And as you guys enter with King Lesterborn, she stands up and she goes, you've brought the crown. Yeah. Yep. We see through our promises.

Wasn't easy. Oh, looks like there might be a party. Good. They grow on the mood. I could fucking get down. I believe we have reason to celebrate. Yeah. Yeah, we could. It's weird because like because I believe it too,

but do I feel it? There's a dissonance. I could definitely get fucked up. I'll tell you that. Yeah, you all get any drugs. I'm talking to our cane. I need uppers. You see the goblin, you see the goblin shaman

with like the glazed eyes. Looks at you and she goes, I could mix up something for you. Something that really fucks with my serotonin level. You know what I'm talking about? She nods. I could use a dump. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, shit.

Tom, you see a few of the Aladron guards come up and offer to take King Lesterborn from you. Yeah. Can I just do it before I hit him off? Can I do like an insight check or a perception? I want to do a perception check and see if I see the Queen. Queen Serilla, cool. Hmm.

I got an 11 on these cards. You got an 11 on these cards. They seem to be just doing their jobs. Can I, I want to talk to Joe Vier. Sure. Yeah. I think I'm a hang on to him for a second. Okay. So you kind of pull him back as you start to go up. Yeah. We have invested so much in restoring the order here. I think we just want to see this through.

Can you take us to the ritual where we're going to awaken them or just let us in on the process at the very least? You see she walks down from her throne from the platform and approaches you, Beverly. And she holds her alladren hand up to your cheek and she goes, you have given so much for our realm, but I need you to trust me. If I have the power of the Unseely, I can break the curse on Cyrilla and Lesterborn. All he's asking is that we'd be privy to that. You can absolutely come but I need the crown. Okay. Look, can we around everyone up together? Yes. Look, I instinctually trust you, but I just want to make sure. I will bring Queen Cerilla and King Lesterborn out here, and I will do my best to break their curse

in front of everyone. Okay, let's make it a show. Yeah. Let's sell tickets. Alrighty. She holds her hand out. I think she's part of Operation Honest Ladder, so. Yeah, I think she is.

I think I'm also taking a look at her, and she's like half goblin, half a laddron, and I'm thinking like this is what I am. I'm like half crick half high elf and I'm like oh my god I'm disgusting. No it's good. You see she gets down on one knee and she goes you have held up most of your end of the bargain. I have protected my sister. I only ask that you see the rest of it through and she leans her head towards you.

Give her my forehead. She's going for a forehead kiss, right? She has the crown. A forehead kisser. That's honestly. I'm gonna read that. I've got a forehead kisser. That's honestly. Did I miss read that? I've wore head kisser as well. No, that's, yes.

You're both great. I think you're both great. I obviously follow suit. You guys also forehead kiss. But I feel like as the one that looks most like a ring bearer here, I will take the pillow. And then I guess somebody else can put it on her head if they want oh

That's what you're going for. Um, so sir. I've been misreading a lot of keys lately No, honestly after all she looks at you Moonshan she goes if after all of this is over if you want to like hang out or Anything oh that was kind of like a brotherly forehead kiss You see she I don't know what I'm sorry. Oh, that was kind of like a brotherly forehead kiss. You see, she, I don't know what I'm saying. She nods. Oh, okay, no, I'm school. I'm just gonna go ahead and put this ground in your head just to kind of end this awkwardness. I'm trying to get it in the ground.

Balls here, come on. Munchan, you place the crown on her head. You see that the thorns instantly dig themselves into her forehead. Sorry. She winces. You see blood trickles down her face, but they don't dig nearly as deep as they did with Queen Ezra. They don't carve her eyes out. You see her body kind of surges with energy. You see she physically bulks up a little bit. Like this crown has made her physically more powerful. She's not like femurian size. She doesn't, you know, change completely. She's making the crown her own taller than hard one though. A little bit taller than hard one. One inch, how tall is it? Six foot six, she six foot seven.

A red con. That. Jake is seething right now. We'll get a pick up. Yeah. She plays for the rockets. You sense this great magic coming from her that was not there before.

And she was quite powerful before. And you see in the hall, as soon as you place this crown on her head, there's this hushed quiet and you see all of the goblins and the eladren ben the need her. Before I've been the knee, Ben the Neater. Before I've been the Ne, I say to her, we've given you the last piece of trust that dwells in our hearts. The very last fragment, pray, do not misuse it. And then I bow.

I fucking second that ship, Beverly, and then I bow. I have enough queens. Ah! Ah! I have enough queens. But I lower my head. I just knock it touch my knee. You see she smiles and she nods to you hard one. I respect that. You see the goblin shaman queen,

Jovier's right hand lady addresses the crowd. After many lifetimes of dusk, the sun finally sets in the autumn courts. All hail, Queen Jovier of the Unceely! And you hear everyone cheers. And you guys see, door is open here. You guys see the sun begin to set and it becomes nighttime And you see all of the autumn elatrin and the goblins look super excited and

Start running outside and you see Queen Jovier joins them I guess we go to yeah, I want to I want to be hopeful right? Yeah, it's a party. Yeah, you got it across the fingers of your heart All right, I go running out to acting like I'm being all playful be hopeful right? Yeah, it's party. Yeah, you got it. It's party. Cross the fingers of your heart. All right, I go running out to acting like I'm being all playful, but I'm looking for that shum. And who said she could hook us up? You see, you guys go outside. I'm not even pretending.

I'm having a good time. Like, Moonshan, you find your guy. Yeah, I'm trying to have a motto. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I turned a balanor and say, like, listen, man, if you want to get fucked up too,

I'll hold the bag. Hey, appreciate that. Why don't we all get fucked up, bud? You're allowed to do drugs tonight if you want. Don't worry, kid, you're dead with the devil. It's true, there's worse things. Your dad's an actual goddamn devil, kid. That's true.

You resisted the temptation to make a deal with the devil. I think it's fine if you if your will power fails you with some drugs. Alright, get you some fucking pot dude. Ben does exactly one weed. You guys get outside and you see all of these Aladdin and Goblins are just in awe. You see that the sun has indeed set in the autumn court for the first time in thousands of years since the time before the courts were split. There was a time a long time ago when there was one court and the seasons changed, but

it has not happened since. You see the sun has set and unlike winter, it's a pleasant night. It is a brisk fall night. You see the moon. And you see stars in the sky People start People start making bonfires and start celebrating. Oh, we're getting into it now It's we're trying to be dire, but it's hard to resist the bonfire You know and and he's- You're not even kicked in yet. The goblin, the goblin shaman.

The goblin shaman saddles up next to you guys and she goes, I know what you are looking for. Hands you guys each a flask of crick water. Ah! I take it back, talk however you want. I will hop it, hop it, hop it real fast. I fucking, I fucking snot every rocket out of my nose so that I have the most possible nasal real estate

to hop up Crickwater. Clear the sign up. Everybody go ahead and give me constitution saving throws. See how fucked up you get. Ooh. We attend for moonshine. So at 19 for Bev Shout out to the two crew But I actually I got advantage okay, so I got a 12 Bevin Bound or kind of hold their shit and

They're like Stoned but like keeping it together. We're even. Yeah, you guys are even. You guys are just having like a nice night. Moon shine and hard one. You guys are fucking God. I came to party.

I don't even feel bad. Honestly, if I pass that cause save I would have rolled it yet. And you guys see while you're super fucked up, you see Queen Jovier walks up to you, throws her arms around you guys and goes, dash promised, I will do what I can to help my sister. We're gonna do this now, I feel like they're a little and else would we do it? Okay.

I was the first one. Are you guys okay? Yeah, just get him a walk. I've never been in my goddamn life. Because the rest of my life's been poor shit, I'm very dismayed. You see she looks down at the Goblin shaman. What, we're celebrating.

Hahaha. Can you whip up like a double Americano for them or something? Yeah, the shaman makes you guys a quick ice coffee. I splashed a little bit of water. Hahaha. It's filling half of the quick water. All right, just let's go. you guys a quick ice coffee. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age

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Okay, that's it for me, Go team pants and enjoy the show. You guys see that Queen Serilla and King Lesterborn are brought out on these little stretchers with goblins carrying them. Sunset goblins, cute. You see Serilla and Lesterborn are both stirring, but they're mostly out of it But this is the most activity you've seen out of Cerilla in The time that you've known her as just being this you know sleeping beauty You see the goblins place them on the ground in these little makeshift stretchers and the citizens of the autumn court Make a circle around them. You see the goblin, Shaman, has this little cauldron with concoction in it.

You can surmise that is probably something like crick water, and she's got like a little wand, and she's flicking liquid on them to like start a ritual. You see Queen Jovier, motions for you guys to come over and join her. Okay, it play cool dance. Hey, hey. I'm like, I've got a dance up. Yeah, I'm putting my hands on either of their butts. That looks fun, I'm dancing.

Yeah, Bounder's just walking, like, force feeding you guys water. All right, gang, let's keep it together. I'm doing like that sweaty, I'm doing that girl dance where you like, put your hands on your hair, Bound. I am doing the exact same dance. Yeah, it's like the tiptoe shuffle. Yeah, it's like kind of like a gentle shimmy,

but like the focus is really on readjusting the hair. Look to the side. What's the crowd thing? The crowd is super focused on the Sealy King and Gleene on the ground. I'm a dancing for me, Beth. She's definitely dancing like no one is watching. She wants to be dancing for me. She's watching. So you see, as you guys get close, fucking moonshine and hard one are out of it. But Queen Jovier turns to you, Bev, and she goes,

I believe that if Ezra was able to exacerbate the effects of the curse that I should be able to cure it. I have faith in you. Thank you. You see she closes her eyes and begins gathering magical energy. Her crown rides, thorns dig into her forehead and blood trickles down her face. Suddenly you see the one half of her face that is sunset goblin. You see this big goblin eye opens up and fully pops out of her head.

No boy. It's basically her version of Ezra's trick. But you don't see like an optic nerve. It's not quite as gross. You see the eyeball fully detaches and floats down and flies over to lesterborn. lies over to Lesterborn. You see he's stirring and kind of lazily makes eye contact with the eyeball. In an instant, he shocked into a trance. And similar to what Ezra did to you, you recognize that Jovier's using a similar ability. You see the wheels turning in Lesterborn's head

as she helps him parse through his memories. Eventually, you see his kind of paranoid grimace turns into a kind of a slice smile and then a big toothy grin. The color begins to return to his skin as his memories begin to return to his skin as his memories, begin to return to his head. I love the over the hard one, and I say, I think they got what we were asking for. Yeah, I want what he had. I want two.

You see, Balnor puts his hand over your mouth, all right, gang. That's right. Let's go easy, huh? Much I want right, gang. That's right. Let's go easy, huh? Much I want to too, too. Come on. You guys see Leicesterborn goes from his skin color being this light, frigid blue to being this fiery orange. His hair turns from curly white, this kind of

foppish hairstyle, to long, flowing red locks. He went from looking like a dandy to like an exotic sun-kissed lover. And you see he snaps awake and he goes, what am I? And he looks around and he sees all of you guys and he sees this whole crowd. And then he turns and he sees Queen Serilla

lying next to him. And he reaches out and he puts his hand on her cheek, and he goes, oh, my summer rose, what happened to you? You see, she slowly opens her eyes, and she goes, my sunshine, he returns to me. And he goes in my heart, darling. I never left. And you see King Lesterborn kisses Queen Serilla. You see her body and her clothing instantly

returns to her fiery summer look. She's got light-armed skin and yellow hair as bright as sunlight. And she and Lesterborn start going at it hard. Oh, okay. They are passionate. I do know. Oh, yeah.

My eyes are just trained on it like, okay. Bev reads the crowd. The crowd starts like dispersing slowly as they're just like making out and heavy-pending. All right, okay. I start to clap. I just want to clap. There's definitely a few people.

Go ahead and make a persuasion check see how many people clap along. 20. There's definitely a hearty clap and it's cheer that goes on for a while that was started by moonshine. It kind of instantly turns it to like deep French kissing that would normally seem kind of awkward, but moonshine gets in there with a real vigorous cheer and makes everyone feel like

this is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like. Everybody fuck. On everybody cheers for King Les de Born and Queen Serrilla and you see some of the AIDS, some of the guards help them up, and escort them off to a private chamber. Oh dang, happy ending. Wow, pretty good nice. Welcome to the new Feywild everyone. I'm so just dancing. I'm doing the little one.

Hand in the hair dance. I'm doing like, yeah, I'm doing the hand in the hair, but to like a hand in the hair. I'm doing like a, yeah, I'm doing the hand in the hair, but to like a transferring mix of. I'm a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, Daddy here's to keep it it steady. We can't keep it light anymore. We gotta just keep it steady I do a trust fall into nothing Hard one just takes a hard fall in the ground. Oh, you see as you guys are celebrating Bev you see Tehran Runs up to you and he goes oh

You guys did it. That's awesome man. Yeah we freaking did it. Congrats man. Thanks bud. Yeah thanks dude it was um. Yeah yeah. It was not easy and I'm sure it was. In the least. You guys are incredible.

You made it's night in the autumn court. It's crazy. Yeah. I wish that I could be more jazzed about it honestly. If you're into the shadow fell. I've heard about it, sure, yeah. Yeah, we're going there. What?

Uh-huh. Don't do that. I wish we could avoid it, but we got a mission, and we got a mission after that. We got a pretty long set of bullet points. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think you want to get involved with me. See, Turan nods and you hear from behind him another Aladdin teenager dude goes, hey,

Turan, hey man, we're hanging out over here. Turan. And he looks at you, Beth. And he goes, all right, well, I thought you were a cool man. And he runs off towards the other kids. This is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like. I go dance with my friends.

That starts to do the hand-through the hair. Doing a mud angel. I get someone to just like pour two beers on me. It's me. Huh. Always ready to do that. Didn't want to say anything gang, but weird 16th birthday. Is this your birthday today?

I didn't want to say anything, but yeah. But this is the worst birthday. I sober up and I use all the rest of my spell slats to make fireworks. Oh, amazing. Yeah, moonshine. Crick elves are fucking experts at fireworks. Mima probably, this was probably the first trick. Well, we make great fireworks,

but we also do light stuff on fire. Yeah. to come hand in hand. Yeah, you're both What's more fun watching the house burn down or watching the fireworks you tell me then you get to build new house exactly Fun moonshine puts on a firework show crick style And you see everyone What you say X rated X rated. X rated. Yeah, there's a couple of dicks in there. You see some of the parents covering their children's eyes.

That's a firework show. What's a firework show for? Oh my gosh, it's a dragon pussy. Yep, just trying to take you through that some of our fondest memories. You see all these explosions of light. Moonshine, you look over and you see Papa looking up at all the fireworks and it reminds you of being a young

and at the crick, watching the fireworks shows that like ol' Cobb and the other dudes who loved explosions would do, or that Mimaw could just do with like a flick of a wrist. Well mine is better than theirs, right? You're just as much better than like ol' Cobb's. Fucking hell yeah. Yeah, I would say you and Mimaw could just do with like a flick of a wrist. Well mine is better than theirs, right? You're just much better than like old Cobbs. Fucking hell yeah. Yeah.

I would say you and Mimaw probably put on the best fireworks shows the Crick. Yeah, old Cobbs like the warm-up act. Yeah. You mostly don't stand up. Yeah. Just that one. All Cobbs the best at like actual explosives fireworks, but as far as just like putting on a magical show,

you gotta go Mimaw oram, or moonshine. Mmm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Respect. I, I kind of find like a nice piece of grass. I mean, it's probably like, oh, it would be a little wet because it's autumn, so like we got to lay down a blanket or something like that. But I think we all kind of like plop heads on a blanket on a little hill so we can watch the fireworks. Sweet, cute as hell.

You don't want me on the blanket, I'm covered in luck. I grab him, I wrestle him over. Get him, join us. Get in the blanket. Join us. Get over yourself. All right. I am wearing a loincloth.

Whoa, pop on, didn't even finish it yet. You just made that one your own. I found this one. Is that a couple couple dishcloths. This was a loose cloth. There's nothing in the back. There's nothing in the back. He's ass out.

Holy ass out. You got to. I know when you sobered up. You can't just do a front. Everyone's got the back. That's not really private. You're not wrong, but still you are. So as all of you are sitting on this blanket,

on this hill together watching the fireworks, after a little while, you see a crow appears. Caw caw! Go ahead and give the Aperception check. Oh my goodness. Now personally I got a 23. However, it does not feel so it's my business to be sussing out hard ones. You just, you nudge me.

Okay, I nudge, I nudge hard ones. Hard ones. There's a crow. You, you've got back to me. You see? My best friend. The crow flies right past hard one And lands on Beverly shoulder

Mochette you tell right away. It's not cock-off hard one. I don't I don't think it's a cock-off. Yeah Yeah, yeah, it's not cock-off anymore It's someone else's bird. No, I end. There's other crows hard on. I'm not gonna move on that. I'm gonna be like DNA wise. It's actually a different bird. I will stay up by that. Guys, it's not like the crow ruined our night.

We're having a good time. Belner, could you please stop trying to sit in between us? Ben, you see that the crow has a little vile. Down there, could you please stop trying to sit in between us? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, not yet. Okay. Drink the note and then burp and say the note out to us, like Harry Potter. Do you say that there's liquid in the vial or it's a little note? There's liquid in the vial and there's like a little note that's like tied to the cork. Okay. Yeah, I guess I read the note. Great. You read the note. It says pour in bowl. I take out like a nice like dank, heady bowl.

Get rid of some nugs. I'll leave it out. So you're putting in like a nice like dank heady bowl. Get rid of some nugs. I'll leave it out. So you're putting in like a little pipe. Watch it off all out. How much liquid is it? Yeah, that's all resin. It's not too too much. It's a little vile.

Oh yeah, I pour it into her bowl, I guess. Okay, you pour it into her bowl. How light it up? Light it up light it up and The liquid begins bubbling in this little pipe and you see an image begins to appear a tiny image Because this was not the type of bowl that this was made for But you do see an image you see an egg and get around Your glasses on you drop up pop up right there

Excuse me You guys see Durlin and crann appear you see them moving in frame and they react excitedly Once they see that they were able to contact you. It's almost like a fantasy Skype call Oh and Durlin yells out scout masters. So good to see you. Durlin! And Cran pipes them and goes, it's good to see you all well.

Cran, good to see you too. Cran is good to see you just kind of being yourself without all the tricks and snares and things. Oh, you didn't think the crows thing was cool? No! There's kind of a witch move. I thought it was great, I loved it. Thanks, no, it was pretty tricky. I thought it definitely triggered something

in hard one, but other than that. Oh, I didn't mean for it. It wasn't meant to be a transfer time. It's just way to contact you. I'm a broken man anyway. Okay. Well, I just wanted to congratulate you and thank you all for breaking the curse. Of course. Honestly, I mean, how was the family? Show us them little young ins. You see, she goes, that's actually why I call it. There's some people I want to give me. You see two green teen twins,

Beverlin and Moonwon, no longer cursed, happy and healthy poke their head into frame. Mom, mom, are these your scout bastards? They're just like stupid, dorky little kids that are like, oh, pushing Dirlin and Kran out of the way to like get a look. Mom, that is just work, that is just work. We just look, hey, hey, what's up?

I'm Beverly and oh, man, look at these kids. You have the spirit of Polora and the light of Galator on deep in your heart. We love fallor. You see Moonwine looks at you guys. I was frozen. We got them. It's hard for me to feel anything but pain, but tell you what,

I think there's a tiny little bit of joy stirring deep down inside my belly. You have your mother's proclivity for getting trapped. Yeah. I didn't feel anything for months's perclivity for getting trapped. Yeah. I didn't feel anything for months. Wow. Thanks for the recap. Well, glad you're warm now.

Nice meeting you, Scout Masters. I hope we get to meet you in real life. Same, balloon. That feels lovely. Collou-collet kids. Collou-collet. Collou-collet. Collou-collet.

Collou-collet. Yeah. They went out and excited. Collou-collet and then run off chasing each other. And you see Durlin goes, there were little old to be acting like that. But I get it. Yeah, no, yeah, we were all like that once, weren't we?

Also, they were literally frozen. Yeah, but anyway. How's the hot tub? Not dwellin. Hot tub's great. Yeah, the place is treating you right. Ellen hot tub's great. Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's dreamy right place of treating us right. We're able to drain it New tapestry oh yeah, it looks great, right?

I'm working you like walk us around show us your crib Yeah, walks you around with their ball. We're using a regular ball. What kind of bowl are you guys using? Oh? Solid ball. Yeah, oh good What kind of bowl are you guys using oh a big one salad bowl? Yeah They show you around you see that they've got a hash pipe There's a cover band playing hashatch Fight Nearby of Goblins. Wow. You're on band. Yeah, um, uh, Cran and Durlin show you guys around the newly renovated uh, Baron Prince's cave, uh, and Cran goes, it's uh, it's a nice place for us to settle down to

be a family for a while, but I want you to know we're ready to fight when you need us, when you go back to the material plane. Okay. Excellent. Will you be able to summon you? Yeah, imagine you'll be able to send us a message. Okay, yeah, we'll send a crow through a dimensional portal or something.

I know a crow. You guys don't worry. I know a crow. Well. Oh, your spirits are back up. I guess now we know your bullets aren't. Now we know your bullet address. We can just hit you up on bullets.

Exactly. Okay. But so you're staying here, I guess. Yeah, this is home for us. Where are you off to? Well, we're going to kind of the farthest place from home we've ever been, I think. Yeah, we're taking a little detour.

You know when you go on vacation, then you're like, oh, this is kind of out of the way, but we're never gonna be back in this area. Again, we're going to Shadowfell. Oh, oh no. It's sort of like when you go on vacation, except you die on vacation, and you go to a, yeah.

It's sort of like a hellscape. Yeah. You try to rescue your mother's eternal soul. Yeah. Well, it was good talking to you all. Hey you two, man. Hey, we're you again soon. I feel like we all think this is weird

because there's a chance that hundreds of years will pass. I have, I did not say that out loud, but I was like cool that you're down to fight, but like if we get in touch with you, you might be like 230. Yeah, I don't say we're have things will be fine. We might be like our 80s or something, but you know, we'll Yeah, you'll still be scrappy. Yeah, it's still be ready to scrap. We'll be scrapy old folks. I'm sure I respect it All right, well, you know, you've already raised two good kids and I'm excited to see where you go from here Congratulations, Scout Masters. I know you can do it. Thank you. They salute you guys. Okay, I guess I kind of like stick

a thumb in the bowl. You hang up. Wow, honestly, I really respected that. You had the confidence to hang up first. You know, I just I feel feel like it's gonna be a really hard goodbye for a lot of these, and you just gotta like, no one to exit. Yeah, it's a power move, absolutely. I appreciate watching, I appreciate, I appreciate watching you come into your own. Thank you, I couldn't have done it without y'all, for better or for worse, you know, I think that I've learned

a lot of bad things from you, but maybe some good things too. I only heard the last part, so you're welcome. Maybe some good things too, he said. Yeah, yeah. If you want to sip in my beer. Absolutely, I got an edge to take off here. Yeah, I've had a lot of bud heavy.

Yeah, I got to give me that wet stone here. I just grabbed some nearby crab grass and just see if we'll get me high. Good, I can edge to put on. It does, yeah. I whisper to the crow, get us far away from this guy as you can. Correct, take some. If you see my bird! You see the crow flies away and there's a big fireworks finale.

Moonshine continues to make a beautiful light show in the sky. And you guys all have fun until you fall asleep together on the side of this hill. And then you wake up the next day and you see that the sun has risen in the autumn court. Or I guess it's more like a sunset. It's basically gone from night to sunset because now the autumn courts and the winter courts are united. So it's a start, but the day has

changed. It is a new day. Wow. And you guys wake up and you see that there are cutie flies flying around. You guys all wake up on this blanket together after this great fireworks show. You see there's a bunch of hungover coblins and shit just like lying in the grass. Yeah, I'm fucking mess. Yeah, empties everywhere. Yeah, you see Gwee wakes up next to you guys. Oh, hey, what's up guys? Oh, Gwee. Gwee.

Gwee, the point is in the direction of like a diner or something. Yeah, that's something like fucking greasy. Yeah. Yeah, you guys gotta talk to the shaman lady Zelda. Zelda. You guys gotta find a diner. Kind of a one-stop shop, huh? Yeah, she can make you guys some food, certainly.

She could sum something up. You guys go to the main hall. They're always eating in there. Cool. Okay. Higwee. Hey, less levers. Yeah. You know what?

What if it was just like on and off? Right. Yeah, forward and stop. She thinks about it and she rubs her chin. Well, that just doesn't sound like any funny at all She got us there. Yeah, okay. All right fair enough. We got to go to hell. We'll see you later Hey, thanks for bringing her back in one piece. No problem. No problem Cogs me to be Zelda. Yeah, I think that you know on our on our walk to Zelda? Yeah, I think that, you know, on our walk to the diner,

I'm just gonna point out like, how are we gonna get Shadow fell? I mean, maybe, maybe Jovier. Yeah. So just like a long ass staircase that we take. You know, maybe we got Zelda. She seems like she knows what's up. Elevator, yeah.

I think so too. Well, I guess like. What else do you know? I guess like. Hard one, how did you get that? Yeah, yeah, so to well I guess I was right hard one. How did you get? Hard one. How did you get there the first time? I was easy. I just died Okay, interesting. Yeah, okay. Get all the way there all right I stored it in this in between and I got the sense that I could go there you also Not only did you get the sense that you could go there, unlike where Gemma and your father were, which seemed kind of far off and you heard them whispering, you were flashing into like the Shadow fell realm. So you have some kind of weird connection

there. That's beyond just, you know, you could have gone there. Got it. Okay, hard one, open your mouth. Ah, we'll could have gone there. Got it. Okay, hard one, open your mouth. Ah. We'll just go through there. Okay, you first. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You guys just like- Like, 16, you're way too big to crawl into my mouth. You hit hard ones teeth so hard.

Oh. Ah. Good flying. Sorry about that. Sometimes it's a miss. Sometimes you try and goof and it's just not done land. Yeah, get some breakfast in us. You guys go to the main hall.

You see that people are eaten and celebrating this morning. You see that sitting on her throne is a queen Jovier who looks a little hung over. So she must have drank a lot because she's quite powerful now. She kind of makes me trust her more, right? Uh huh. Like, if she's, I feel like evil people got to keep it so tight because they always got to look over their shoulder. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. If she's hung over, she's cool. Yeah. You'll never see Theolah with bags under her eyes. Exactly. Because she like can't afford to. Mm-mm. Yeah, she's cool. Yeah, you'll never see Theolum with bags under her eyes. Exactly, because she can't afford to. Mm-mm. Yeah, she lets loose.

Yeah. Okay, that's comforting in a strange way. She's checking a box. Let's go talk to her. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah, you walk up to go talk to Queen Jovier and she's also got Zelda, the goblin,

Shaman with her. I dabpper up. He dapper Zelda up. Did it get you good and fucked up? I love to still fucked up. Nice dude. Never hurt. Yeah, you got any kind of like enchanted, you know, sausages or do you like a bloody Caesar or something? Oh, you make you got y'all got a bloody bar. I can duplicate. Yes. You have like a magic purse full of hash browns. Yes.

Okay. What about sweet potato tats? Yes. Okay. Hold on, I want to test this. She gives you an endless bag of sweet potato tats and an endless decanter of bloody myaries. Wait, I want to test this out. Yeah, a jewel encrusted sword covered in eggs.

I can't do that. Gotcha. Okay, there's a limit. Okay, okay. And you found it right away. I'm a little bit... Stop being rude. Okay, yeah.

I'll just eat my hash browns. Just quietly crunch some potatoes. You asked for a julienn crushed in sort one day. Hey Zelda, I know we've asked for so much, but might we ask for a little more this time, a bit more inco-porial? You see Zelda looks up at Queen Jovier. Who nods to Zelda? We owe them everything and Zelda looks here and she goes I am at your service Yeah, so

This might sound suspicious, but we're trying to get to Shadow fell. And we're just wondering, is there like an elevator escalator stairs? Oh, those are three options. Oh, shadow. Oh, maybe like a fireman's pole? Trains, fireman's pole.

That's six, yeah. You see Boeing 787. So it A, B, C. You see Joe Fear, Joeerleens and she goes, it would be irresponsible of me not to ask why you wish to go to Shadowfell. Headhunt. Amongst other reasons. My mom's down there.

I hate the guy that rules it down there. Your mother's a lost soul. I need like to rescue her. Yeah, that's about right. It's the jest. You see, Jovier holds her hand out to Zelda to kind of signal to her to go on, to help you guys. And Zelda goes, someone who has died,

who has been to Shadowfell before, could have a connection to it. Once the darkness of the Shadowplane looms over you, it never quite goes away. You see she suddenly perks up and looks at you, hard one. I look behind me quickly to Balnor. She's not looking at me, man. I don't know. Wow, fuck. Balnor is clean. Right, okay. It's got to be me then.

She looks like right through you, hard one. And she goes, it is possible that we could use him as a port key, but we would need to get him on death's door. We got a flat line of he's going to Open it for us much like someone might see the lights when they're near death someone with a connection to Shadowfell Could feel called to it could flash to that plane. And in that moment, it might be possible to travel there without dying.

This all sounds very nice, but we almost lost hard one once. I don't think any of us want to go through that again. But we're turning to the idea of an escalator, elevator, streetcar. There is no escalator to the shadow realm. Would you like more? Chairlift? Potatoes. Munchan, I'm the escalator.

So wait, if he's so cool. I have the escalator. If he's the escalator, you know elevator or stairs or stairs or maybe like a golf cart that goes straight down, how does he get there? As I was saying much like if you were to be near death and you might get tunnel vision or you might see the light as it were someone who has been to Shadowfell who would feel the call to Shadowfell when they are on Death's Door, maybe able to appear there and bring people with him. But what about when he gets

there? Can we heal him once if he gets there? Certainly. I guess the better question is how do we get back? See she shrugs her shoulders. It's not a two-way escalator, is it? I Wouldn't ask you guys to come with me It might be a one-way ticket. You don't even have to ask. I think I already might have confessed on On the plane right here that I might just stay there anyway, so I'm not super concerned about Great the round trip. Hey gang. We got a lot more to do so Great. The round trip. Hey gang, we got a lot more to do. So let's go in there with a positive attitude and a song in our hearts.

Yeah, I know that song. I know the song that's in our hearts. Don't. Okay, do it. All around me, a familiar person. Oh, but it's the dance remix. So it's actually pretty big! Hahaha!

There's gotta be a way out, right? You see Zelda shrugs, and she goes much like getting from the Feywild to the material plane, or the material plane to the Feywild. Shadowfell is quite difficult to travel to. Okay, so we'll just have to get there, and when we wanna go back, somebody will have to kiss someone. I guess everyone line up, I'm taking passport photos.

You know, mine's out of date, I gotta get anyone. I still got one. I still got one. I still got the one for when I was a baby, I gotta get a new one. Wow, yeah, you're an infant. Yeah. Okay.

Well, let's figure this out. Which one of you guys is gonna kill me? Well, I think the bigger question is, first off, I'm not, I would like to put it out there that I am not committed to this plan of us killing you. I'm still seeking. Not killing, getting on Death's door. Right, yeah, right, right.

But let's say like, if there was like a dream way for you to die, right? Okay. To get on Death's door. Like, you know, like drown in enchocla pudding or something like that. That's, you're getting stepped on. Yeah, if you have like a crushing fantasy Interesting or if it was like you do so much arcane that you almost die that one that one

It's gonna be fun to see death's door. We've sent so many people there. I know Wonder if he leaves out a welcome man and if that welcome man has a fucking key underneath That's the way we get back. Ooh, okay. All right, so we're doing this now, huh? Yeah. Are we? Are we doing it now? Do you need a moment?

Let me finish these hash browns, okay. Yeah, I think we need at least like a day to sort of process some of this shit. I'm not ready to. Yeah, I don't wanna go to the the shadow fell. I'll die again. Cung over. Yeah. Okay. Let's do some yoga drink kombucha. We'll be back at 100%. We'll be at 110%. Zeldak creepily looks at you guys and goes, let me know when you're ready to travel to the other side

Would you like more hash brown? Sure, yes, please tell the what do you think is the best way to get him to death store? She looks at him Cuz some meaty fellow have to stab quite deep I Like the arcane plan. Could we just use arcane? You could do any kind of magic spell that you would like that would injure him. Hmm, you need to bring him to Death Store.

But is there a danger of like we gave him something unpredictable like arcane that it would just kill him rather than bring him to Death Store? I don't know what arcane is. Oh yeah, you didn't make it for my last time. He's a giraffe. Who's around me right now? There's a Lajren Goblin's Queen Jovier.

I go over and I punch a goblin in the face. Uh-huh. Hey, what fuck you, man? Yeah, that's right. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude. God, we're all initiative.

I guess it's God. Oh, I hate this. 21. Yeah, you go first. Okay, I give him my axe. Why would you do this man? I kick him in the shin. Oh, you kick him in the shin? He attacks you.

He fucking missed. He swings at you. Oh, right. Fuck you, man. You either hit me or the goblin's gonna kill me. I'm fine. You see, he's out there, zelda. I hit hard one. There needs to be a ritual, man. You either hit me or the goblin's gonna kill me That's hard one there needs to be a ritual Yeah, I mean I guess you could soften him up here. That's fine But a belt on his neck I don't know

You see a bunch of this goblin's friends jump in and start to bite Natcha and all right knock it off You think you're better Natchia's because you got the crown. Little one of them hits. These guys are like, so we, one guy does six damage to your hard one. Nice. Not nearly on Death's door. What are the rest of you guys doing? I share a hash brown with Moonsha.

Yeah, I was thinking of getting in on the attack, but I just don't feel good about it. So I'm just eating my sweet potato tats. Cool. Pernwin, you shout if you need anything. This, get the ritual ready. These guys are gonna kill me pretty soon. These goblins kick the shit out of you hard one. Are you just taking it?

I'm just gonna take it. Okay. They police pummel you and get you down to all say about 10 HP. I want you to know hard one out of respect. I am not avert in my eyes. Even though seeing this makes me quite sad. But I'm witnessing it all. You doing it for your for your mom thought I was hung over before These coblins are just like pummeling you thank you for watching Um, and you see yeah hard one gets down to about 10 HP and Zelda waves everyone off step back step back

And you see joe vier orders everyone out of the room Waves everyone off step back step back and You see Jovier orders everyone out of the room Zelda is there any chance we did permanent damage you see Zelda clears off a table and she motions for hard one to get on the table. I will lie down. That's fine with me. Hard one lays down the middle of the table. She's Zelda pulls candles from nearby tables and places them around him and she motions for Moonshine, Bev and Balor to surround him. Okay. Yeah.

But I'm not kissing moonshine. What? I just thought for like a ritual to get to another place. I'm so sorry, but I will be your part to you. No, I don't wanna kiss you. Right, right, right. It was awesome. It was awesome.

I thought I had to die. Red-eyed, red-eyed. You're right, I was confused. I'm sorry. Bound or so, too, in the hair dance? No, yeah, man. You see Zelda, once again pulls out her little cauldron, takes this little wand, begins mixing it,

and begins flaking you guys with quick water. And much like when you're trance with old Cobb, you're almost like entering this space with hard one as well. And then you see Zelda goes now He's near death's door, but he's not quite there. We need to get him a little bit closer. I Am so sorry. You see she takes a rag. She puts it over hard one's mouth and holds him down Would one of you like to do the honors? So right now, I'll say, for practical purposes, hard one is at 10 HP.

He needs to get down to below 5 HP, but he can't knock him out. I spores him for six. Oh, amazing. Munchine, you spores hard one, hard one. Your body fills with poison. You guys see from the outside, he turns white. You see thick veins, just purple and blue, sticking out of his neck,

as he like strains to breathe, especially with Zelda has this rag in his mouth. Hard one, you're gasping for breath. There's your eyes are bloodshot, you're breathing as extremely labored, and you begin to get tunnel vision, and the room around you begins to flicker. It's like someone is turning the lights off rapidly. However, it is not just darkness you see when the lights are off. There's also this hanging mist. You can feel it.

This is the place. This is shadow, Phil. Hard one, what do you do in this moment? You can make a decision to stay here if you would like. It's day. Hard one stays. So Beverly and Moonshine, you see that hard one begins fading from existence. What do you do?

I call out to him. I see hard one. Find the connection. Yeah, hard one, you in there? Can you hear us? Ah, hard one, go ahead and do a perception check. 11. 11. You hear like dissonant whispers as you travel to this other plane. Mooshine and Beverly, he does not react, but you see he starts to fade. Can I just grab his his hand? Yeah.

You feel like you could go with him if you would like, if you would like to make that choice. All right, I'd give in to that feeling. Moon shine you, flash out of existence. I kind of hop up onto his body, so I'm like, gonna fall through him. Beverly, you. And neither of us there to even witness it. Just a show for yourself.

Yes. Beverly Jackknives, that's about to happen. I'm my best audience. You see Moonshine has disappeared. You hear Zelda go, yes, he is a port key, a gate to the plane of- oh, you hopped in like you are doing a cannonball in the pool like a tiny little man pool here I go and Beverly cannonballs into the plane of shadow and that's where we'll end our episode are we swimming through ink right now you don't know where you are at all do I hear dissonant whispers yeah do you hear dissonant whispers?

Yeah, do I hear dissonant whispers? So such dissonance. Should I roll to keep my sanity? I'm not yet. I'm not yet. Not yet. Guys, we can talk about all of our theories on the short rest. Here's my first theory.

This guy is going to be like, have you ever had a squid ink pasta? Oh, I have. This guy is going to feel like that. This guy's gonna feel like that. And it's gonna feel like that. Inky inky, that's cool. And shadows are gonna leave a trace residue on us like a squid ink. That's why it's called Inky Fel, right? That's it.

Guys, here more stuff like this over on the short rest. Patreon.com slash bad pod. We're all about the band theories and not what's actually gonna happen, just theorizing based off of nothing. Talk about it with the hint, Milk's on. They, that I don't even know if you're a fan of this show. We're just gonna list good pasta we've had. That is a really good idea.

I've got a list, I've got Rex. Speaking of Rex, we've got things to plug. Guys, check out me in Emily's sketch show. It's called Hot Date and you can watch it on Netflix. We also have a book called, Hey You Up, Had a Turn Your Booty Call into Emergency Contact. It is a satirical relationship advice book. Get it on Amazon or on Audible.

Called Well, How Do People Send Us Stuff? They can send it to 1920 Hillhurst Avenue number 222, Los Feliz, California, 90027. Please send us things. Oh yeah. You got anything else to plug, called well? Check out Cartoon Hell on Dropout, signup.dropout.tv, slash nad pod, thank you very much.

Nice, Jake, what do you got? Go to headgum.com. Okay, yeah. Who is the podcast network? Let's check it out. Check it out. Theregum.com. Okay. Yeah. Who's the podcast? That's what we're going to say. Check it out. There's other podcasts on there. Yeah.

If you've finished all of this podcast, believe you're caught up, can you, can you go? Yeah. Do two listens. Just yes. It's dance. So why don't you go back, cycle through this one one more time, subscribe to the Patreon, do all the short rests. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then Abit Book Club. Yeah, Abit Book Club. Right, yeah. Watch your show on Netflix, a bit book club. Yeah, watch your show on Netflix. Yeah, Drafty All that once you've watched every Jake the mirror. There's about 800 Then check out In your free and once you're on head gum.com is there like a game to play or anything to Peru Honestly, there might be a lot of new episodes of this podcast by then

Start start back up Cool guys That's true. Oh, nice. Start back up. Cool, guys. You can follow us on Twitter at CH Murfitsme. Add called the as called wall, add the accent as Emily, add Jake Hurwitz's Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag nadpod.netdpod. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are, you are the nation. And now to thank our benevolent Council of Elders. Brad D, the only Pebble Pot that isn't Craven, and the only Pebble Pot you have never called the police with a noise complaint.

Thank you. JLOMA 72, aka Steelbreaker. Hard one's gym inspiration. The only filter they've ever used on a photo is sweat. Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times. Each blade has a name and Dylan tries to remember them all to be courteous, but honestly, it is tough.

Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist. painted hard one, seen your portrait at the dwarf image. Also did a few x-rated stone etchings at his request. Excuse you. Tom P. Father of the realm and serenader of sleeping babies. Also, this serenader of sleeping possums. Let's face it, papa has earned a spa day. True.

Spencer Cask-Prew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike, once served a margarita to pelore that was so out of bounds, the big old daddy decided to double fist, hell yeah. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver-born, eldritch knight and ex-owner of the Badgers Point Inn, but the current owner of a positive attitude. Griffin may not have a bar, but they've got

a song in their heart. Beard Mandan, the longest beard in all of Bohemia, so long it could travel the length of Cobb's vicious v, all the way down to his vicious, D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Hermes faces still on all the money, so that's something. Spartus, a goblin scientist who's about to launch the first ever Feywild rocket to the moon, oh god, oh god, oh no, Spartus has exploded RIP buddy. Adam R, the R-rated assassin, has plus 12 to stealth, but rolls with this advantage because they prowl in the nude and their bits make loud skin slapping sounds. Cassandra, MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP, Cassandra has so much HP that they only get minor heartburn from Queen Ezra's attack. Danielle D, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly she actually gave Ezra all the band of Boob secrets in a manila folder so she wouldn't have to look that hard

Wow Ouch QC aka holder frostback in MVP of the giant wars crewed on the SS stormborn and fought alongside Alias and red Was also kicked out of a buffalo wild wings with Alias and red, but doesn't like to talk about it Mani P. Mani the mundane accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. When you forget to set your alarm, but you wake up anyway, that's Mani's gentle caressing your cheek until you wake.

Aw. Daniel U. aka Multifor, the many-faced magician. Each face is prettier than last. Unfortunately, the first is ugly as hell, so the last one is only like, like a four, max. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, can drop the beat to the depths of the nine hells and raise the volume all the way to Pelor's cruise ship in the sky. God that's poetic. Chef Free S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, and keeper of the Gord. That's right, Jeff still has Halloween pumpkins out on his porch. Throughout the pumpkins, Jeff, come on!

Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy turn-quick bark attack. Straight up, cutters is Moonshine's dad. Wauza, truth bomb. John S. AKA Shubber at the mushroom. Recently, 80 mushroom pizza and a horrible act of cannibalism that has rocked the myconid community. Ryan M. Hard ones Ram, who was brutally murdered after being abandoned by his owner, Ryan was in shadow fell for a chance revenge and just might get it.

Not true. Don't worry about that, everybody. That is false. That is not true. Elena C. Gellad's sister, who isn't a dick, and only calls him on holidays. That's nice, cool. Andrew M. A barbarian cleric who brings their foes to the brink of death then heals them just enough to bring them back to the brink of death again. Ouch, ouch a lot.

Michael Mick D. Headmixologist at the Blue Manitain would work working on a cocktail called Beverly's Bittersweet 16, which is just blood, sweat, tears, and a fireworks display at the end. So no, I guess no alcohol in that one. Victor T. Balnor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, just got a letter that he's been drafted to fight in the Great War. Oh, no, it'd be nice to have a father figure right about now. Shiza! Just an eye, queen as Recycic, hand eye optometrist. Sure, she's vicious, but not as vicious as her hand eye astigmatism. Okay, Clinton M, the Claymation Dalmatian. Clayton recently started dating Annie S, the anime Sharpe. It's caused

a bit of rift between House Claymation and House Anime, and their forbidden love will almost definitely end in bloodshed. Can't wait to read that graphic novel. The Pois Fessional, the only lawyer to successfully beat Paw-Paw in litigation. In fact, the only lawyer Paw-Paw trusted to defend him against the Moe-related vandalism charges. Jacob C. One of the Hounds, happened to have the day off when the others attacked the band of boobs because they worked a double the day before. Lucky break. Good on you, but we're

coming for you. Elena M. A goblin tech entrepreneur who brought birds scooters to the Feywild which are just birds. You give a pin coat to and you can hop on their back like a scooter. Cool. McPucks, the amazing code master who programmed our website was working on an adorable eBay for Beverly Suite 16, but it looks like that might get scrapped. Dang. Earl and Kathleen L. Amaried Goblin and Aladron, who can finally talk politics

now that the Princess Jovier came along. Hooray! Jive G. And Ezri's scientists who created a strain of arcane that helps you study better, the wizard academies are riddled with it and a lot of students have developed addictions. Not cool! Jostritch! The Joc, Ostritch!

Always matches their plumage with their favorite sports team, right now their Rep and Shadow Fells all sent to our polo team the headless horsemen very trendy PJW Charo Arcadia's a teafling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own it also has its own bank account which is always over drafting take the card away okay you got to take that card away damn you're ram damn you'll evil twin damn you'll recently made a deal with Aka Ram, the ram devil. It was one of those if both of us are still single when we're 30 we'll get married kind of deals though. So that's kind of sweet. That's cute. Nicholas R. AKA St. Crickolas instead of a naughty and nice list, St. Crickless keeps a hospitable and starts too many fires

list. Both sound like pretty chill groups of folks to me though. Jennifer V, a crown maker who keeps making cursed crowns. Knock it off! Jennifer's always tells them they're not going to do it this time, and the last minute they just can't help themselves. The crown is cursed. Just knock it off.

Destincy, a smuggler whose smuggles arcane into the Feywild. Hey yo! Unfortunately, was caught and in jail when hard one and moonshine were looking for it. That does make sense, but we'll catch you next time. Devin B, the bodega lord, doesn't need to take short or long rest because they are open 24-7 baby. They also have a cat and a collection of expired cans of goyabins. Michael L, the only eladrin who didn't snap out of Queen Ezra's curse, still trying to blame the curse though because they're not ready to take the leap and just go to therapy.

You gotta do that self healing, you know bro. Sam H went to Ben's Kinsin Yera and has been waiting for the invitation to his sweet 16. At this point, Sam assumes they weren't invited. Ouch. Kelvin noodles a pasta elemental. Kelvin can summon a wall of pesto as a can trip. Sounds like my kind of person.

Christian H. Sergio Salazar Solomon Sakurai as De Sisiuani. Seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with a sweet snake pattern on his skin. It's bold and whenever they wear leopard print on top of that, that shit, it looks great. It doesn't work perfectly, but you know what, fuck it, you can pull it off. Traylay the cray-fay. Traylay is the most cray and all the fay, which is pretty impressive because it's a wacky place, but Traylay's cray takes the cake! Okay. Eren G. Master of the Banishment Spell.

Eren always prepares it as a reaction so they never walk into a cobweb. If they ever walk into a cobweb, it will instantly be dealt with. Jory S. A jacked wizard who wields a 200 pound iron staff and actually gives them a minus 10 in wisdom, but their tricep looked fucking tight. Yo, it's worth it. Alucard. A reverse Dracula. Moonlight is poisoned to Alucard, and so they are cursed to spend every night asleep in a bed such a cruel fate. Baby Doc. The only doctor to ever perform their own C-section also taught themselves how to walk and somehow filmed themselves doing it. Selfie.

It was just a selfie stick. They had a selfie stick. That's cool. Adam H. A Green Knight double agent who has infiltrated the Chosen, the worst part, Adam is super lactose intolerant. Huh. Oh dear.

Colin G. Pilots a giant ion dwarf that looks exactly like Gundam, which would be super cool, but no one in Frostwin knows what Gundam is, so they're just annoyed that Colin keeps parking a giant robot in the middle of their town. I have no idea what Gundam is, I assume it's some sort of nerd thing. Ryan, hard ones definitely a live ram who was just found out they'd have eight, they're gonna have a baby. Tripleth actually, congratulations Ryan, your life couldn't get any better way to

thrive. Big Buck, pregnant Elk moonshine, aka moonshine's Elk and baby, Big Buck also just found out who their daddy is, but you won't find out for another 30 episodes. Curse you, daddy Murphy. Curse you. Richard F. A cyclops murdered by the band of boobs, they were later reborn as a lowly nanofly that hatched from the corpse of Ezra the Unkind. Wow, that's pretty that's pretty neat. John WG introduced the quick to drum roll here. Condoms. Unfortunately they're made out of no skin and are only 2% effective,

but it's honestly worth a shot. It's better than what they have going on now. Troy Mixy, a were there's traitor from a faraway land, Troy recently discovered a new land rich in hard candies, which they named Nanarmarika after their generous patron. Cannibalistic Kathulu is trying to cut down on eating elder gods, but if someone were to order some Kathulu calamari, they wouldn't say no. Okay, that's all we're gonna say. Sam L, a geomancer who uses their abilities

to make kick ass geodes. You might think that's lame, but their Trinstagram has four million followers, so back the F. Off. Dom R. The God of Hydration to drink 8 glasses of water a day is to honor Dom. If you disrespect Dom, your lips will be chapped for all of eternity. And that is courtesy of Dom. Josh S. The Revived Cyborg version of Josh the Cold Cobald. Not only are they 10 times stronger than before,

their head is now a curic machine. Fuck me! Unfortunately, it takes Tim Horton's K-Cups though. Okay, so I guess that's unfortunate, but either way, I'm just nervous that they're part curic machine. I think that's kind of badass. Blitz Brigh Demetri owner of Dwarggers Big Borgher where you can now try the Cursed Borgher challenge.

If you finish it under two hours, you fail. If you lose, you become the Borgher and if you succeed, you get your picture on the wall. Okay? Fail become the Borgher, succeed picture on the wall. So you definitely don't want to fail with that Caleb storm is Bell Caleb storm cut bearer in chords of great hall also adville and gatorade bearer in chords Bedroom the day after thank you very much for that Andrew a the new mayor of the creek Congrats, but also the only remaining inhabitant Andrew has carved The new mayor of the Cric, congrats bud. Also the only remaining inhabitant,

Andrew has carved several constituents out of wood, mud and crawfish remnants, it's getting really cast away, over there. Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bahumia, even animated ones like Abouliwag's life, and all nobles go to Yanuba. Matt L and Ork who's also a vampire, their tusks situation is outright tragic. Wow, alt-eath, alt-eath no heart. Mike H, Mike of the High Tower, a glade home elf with a shameful addiction to brown stuff. They resorted to buying back alley shrimp just to get their fix. You gotta seamless that shit so you can eat it in the shame of your own home. Kevin S. the Slider Rider, Drider, Rider, Glider, Hider, a drow arachnid who loves tiny sandwiches so much they've recently taken a winged mini burger as their steed.

Kevin also recently learned the invisibility spell which they used to conceal their delicious mount from prying hungry eyes. Cool. Matthew E, named after Maddie Bigcrets, which is an honor a blessing and a curse because it's a lot to live up to. Samuel B, a Samurai B, this B uses their Stinger as a sword. B money, also another B, this B uses their stinger as a sword. Be money. Also, another bee. This bee uses their stinger instead of money. Till for G, a slam poetry bard gets a deafening round of snaps at every open mic. Guardian of the light, Zach H. Bohumi is only keyblade wielder keeps the keys on a huluhu sized key ring. Mitch D. and enlightened drunken master water genesis named Doc Alpha.

Doc once drank the tap's dry at Blumana in and wasn't even hung over the next day. Damn, I think that was Cuz you were still drunk. Curtis S. a short skinny human who his hard ones bunk made a thwart at the doorfinage, and he always gave hard one the top bunk even though hard one crashed through it a lot. Appreciate that bud, thank you. Colton B, the hottest orc in Bahumia, this orc is so hot they often get mistaken for a high elf. Ooh, could that be moot-no, it's impossible.

Jens Christian T, the social media influencer behind Jens Lendell comedy and their most like post, sadly it's a slam behind Jens Lindell comedy and their most like post, sadly it's a slam of Jens Lindell official. That hurts, but Gage M. Rides Bahumi has only Vespa, and everyone is jealous, rightfully so. Montana Monarch, ruler of the largest kingdom with the fewest subjects, they hold an annual parade which is 100 miles long and only 4 people marching it. Melanie F. Tiavina Seraghan, an Asimar Paladin, who drunkenly swore a blood oath but forgot

what for, but they did recently find a noble steed to lead them on their journey. Ryan the Ram lives and thrives! Ray Lay, Puckett-S. The only young and at the crick who knows how to write, often will graffiti stump so they get put in the timeout bag. Smart, I love the way you think. Aaron C, a noble gnome, plays no tricks and has a rich, hardy laugh. You honor your people, Aaron. Dragon sent pie. The dragon sent pie. Teachers dragons, how to roast their meat perfectly rather than charring it. Mmm, now that's tender. Hannah F. Beverly's pedicurist and has secretly been pocketing all the gold Beverly

tries to paint his nails with very smart. They've just been painting his feet, a dull kind of yellow thing, and I guess he hasn't noticed. Bradley E. the only chosen soldier who has tried beer, and it was good too. Think about it, try some more. Dev and T, the seemster of hard-won skinny pants, a true hero, and a true artist. L&D fights their battles with a dorgers big borgers instead of a sword. No foe dare strike the big borgher. Carbrow Chapel Hill FPV, a very hairy wizard who casts invisibility on their beard instead of shaving.

Smart, effective. Chad A, a super strong barbarian who could easily kick Jake's ass, that's me, but not hard ones. You couldn't kick hard ones, no one can. Reese, NS, an awakened possum who aspires to one day be Papa's paralegal. I believe in you, you can do it. TJM, a hot tub salesman whose name hard ones dork daddies keep dropping in a very obvious way.

I swear to god I'm gonna remember, I'll call you guys, okay? RPKB, a budget R2D2. Completely stationary, cannot move, and only makes a single boop instead of beeps and boops, but they are just as cute. Taylor S, aka Trass the Traveler, has walked the entire realm of Bohemia, mostly because they're deathly afraid of airships. And why wouldn't you be, especially when we're behind the wheel? That is it.

Thank you very much for honoring us. We love you. wheel. That is it. Thank you very much for honoring us. We love you.