Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 59: Blood Rain (The Shadowfell Saga)

Episode Date: May 2, 2019

The Band of Boobs arrive in Shadowfell and... somethin' ain't right. Hardwon meets his long lost twin, Beverly's blood becomes a hot commodity, and Moonshine tries to play nice with a vampire.... Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."King Lestibourne" by Emily Axford."Tower in the Distance" by Emily Axford."Angels and Devils" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell" by Emily Axford."Grimhawk" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."Into the Mist" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:12 This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code PawPawW-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia Everyone. Bahumia.
Starting point is 00:01:44 I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, surefoot. Emily Axford. Moonshine, Sabin, part of me, moon. Shadow, because we're in Shadowfell. Ooh. Hold on, very good. And called the old Tanner.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Beverly Togo, the fifth, formally fake. Now I'm all gray. Ooh. I like that one. I was thinking you were going to say Shadowfella. That would be good, and I'll say that. But yours is great. Save it. Just save it for the that one. I was thinking you were gonna say Shadowfella. That would be good and I'll say that. You're just great. Just save it for the next one.
Starting point is 00:02:09 I'll splice that right in. There might not be an excellent. We might beat Shadowfell in one episode. Yeah, I might be one in a dollar. Or we might just have a total party kill. Oh, equally likely, I'd say. Brassmore. Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Guys, let's do a little recap. So last episode, you began by trying to talk King Leicesterborn down from succumbing to his madness and jumping from his tower. After successfully subduing him, you confronted Beav's dad, who you'd learned was working with Akarot and the Nine Hells to prevent the Allah from controlling the Feywild. You had a heartbreaking back and forth until Be Bev screamed at him to go, you then packed up Leicesterborn and headed back to the Autumn Court where you delivered the unceely crown to Princess Jovier, making her queen of the unceely and uniting the winter and autumn courts. For the first time in thousands of years, the sun set in autumn and Jovier's subjects
Starting point is 00:03:01 enjoyed a beautiful fall night. The band of boobs got some much needed bonding time, exchanging heart to hearts, shooting off fireworks, and getting rip, roryn, drunk on Crickwater. Who are you? I forgot it was your sweet 16. It was a bittersweet, but it was indeed. Oh, but it turned sweet though. Yeah, by the end, we made sweet.
Starting point is 00:03:21 It was like bittersweet chocolate. Once you put it in cookies, it's just sweet. Oh, it's like baking chocolate, yeah. Yeah. You saw Queen Jovier help lift the curse on Queen Cerilla and King Leastaborn returning them to their fiery summer personalities. You found out the next morning that curing the monarchs
Starting point is 00:03:39 had indeed helped all of the subjects of the summer court when you got a message from Durlin and Cran thanking you on behalf of their newly unfrozen children. With your work finished in the Feywild, you decided to head to Shadowfell, the plane of shadow, to write your wrongs, defeat Galad once and for all, and save the widow during the ritual in which Hardwan was brought to Death's door. You are able to use him as a port key and travel to the plane of shadow. And that's where we are now. But first, let me tell you all a little bit about Shadowfell. Please do.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Wow. So Shadowfell, like the Feywild, is a reflection of the material plane. But unlike most of the Feywild, it is a bleak place full of death where you'd find a river in the material plane. You might find an enchanted stream in the Feywild and a baron trench full of bones in Shadow Film. Oh, hard past, so bad.
Starting point is 00:04:32 So too late guys. I wish I had looked at TripAdvisor before. Yeah, oh yeah, shit, there's a half star Yale preview, so I don't know. Yeah, it's only got three reviews, and they're all half a star. Only one Ruby Tuesdays here. I'll say I wish I could give zero stars.
Starting point is 00:04:49 There are many creatures that are native to Shadow fell, many of which are undead, including werewolves, vampires, skeletons, mummies, shadow monsters, ghouls, fallen angels, and countless other horrors. Since it is so close to the material plane, it often attracts the lost souls of the dead who have no other resting place, like a revenant who failed to deliver on her promise that she made to a god. With an in great sun. Easy. Or what about some cute skeletons we could get on our side? Find out. We, find out.
Starting point is 00:05:25 We will find out. Sounds like a real monster mashup in there. Despite the overwhelming population of monsters, there are humanoids in Shadowfell. Some are descendants of people who traveled there back when the world was more magical and the planes were more easily traveled. Others were brought there as slaves or sacrifices
Starting point is 00:05:42 for various evil doers and somehow managed to escape. So there are humanoid settlements full of people who are native to Shadowfell without having died, but even those humans are not immune to the effects of their grim surroundings and often fall into madness or have generally unsettling personalities. Matt, and dropped with a tangential question. Sure. When you say
Starting point is 00:06:05 people bring sacrifices, can someone who is doomed to shadow fell send a sacrifice in their stead? Perhaps a powerful like demigod or something could do something like that. But it's not like every day Viking King just being like, you go in that place. No, no, certainly. Thank you. What kind of idea did you have? I don't know. I was like, there's a conspiracy. They're sending innocent people in their place.
Starting point is 00:06:34 They're rich people. I thought you wanted to get back to the material plane and send someone. Cool. We just find someone to send in place of your mom. Oh, problem solved. Great. Great. So like I was saying, there are mostly undead, but there are humanoid.
Starting point is 00:06:50 There are people who are, quote unquote, alive in Shadowfell. But right now, you are not in a human settlement. You are in a deep mist. This fog. You have appeared in Shadowfell. Queen Joviere's throne room, usually full of life and song has been replaced by a shell of a great haul. There's debris all over the floor, the roof is missing,
Starting point is 00:07:13 the wood has rotted and it's blackened. It looks like this place was burned down. You are instantly overwhelmed by a deep sense of dread as this thick fog washes over you and you hear these dissonant whispers. You look down and you see the hard one is still bleeding out, extremely injured, but you see that there are two of him. I shatter the mirror, huh? How about that? Is that not if it's not a mirror? You sure?
Starting point is 00:07:54 I just ring your bell. I will be playing one of these hard ones. Jake will be playing the other. Jake, you will not know whether you are the real hard one or if you are a being pretending to be hard one. I'm just gonna make a roll Great I Would say oh shit
Starting point is 00:08:14 You guys are in this deep mist. You see two hard ones both extremely injured Well obviously you guys know what real fucking hard one, right? What's the best part part of the crawfish? The brown? My dad. Oh shit. I also think it's the brown. What's in the secret compartment?
Starting point is 00:08:33 Don't tell her! A picture of you eating it! Don't tell her you eating it! Dude, fuck you! You fucking idiot! We opened up! We had it all! Man, not about that!
Starting point is 00:08:43 Dude, Christ! Alright, bonus hard that, dude, Christ. All right, bonus hard one, cool. Maybe this is good? Yeah. Two of us? No, I don't trust your ass. Wait, I don't trust you, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Okay, Bev, I'm gonna try and sense evil. Go ahead and roll for it. Okay, it's like trying to smell a fart and a shit factory. Okay. Arcona? Perception. Perception, okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Uh, 14. These two guys are virtually identical. Oh, virtually. Is one of them wearing a loincloth? I'm both wearing it. They're both wearing the exact same thing. Okay. Jigsaw alone cloth on the other side.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Dick sizes are the ones that we measured in Frostman. They're both wearing the exact same thing. Okay. I'm so sorry to help man. Dick's sizes are the ones that we measured in Frostman. 113. Oh, that was 18 actually. That was the... Can I just do like a raw... I'm gonna use a lot of point real quick to roll for the dick's. Never do this to me. Dude. You gotta get the fuck out of here. You're confusing.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Bro, me. It's messing with me that you're here right now. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're some weird, shadow fell freak. I'm not weird. You're weird, dude. No, I'm not. You're weird. I'm not. You just showed up here. Okay, but what are you doing? I'll do a split.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I dropped my knees. He dropped to the ground. He dropped to the ground. It does a split. Okay, hey, hard ones, what's our goal here? Find the widow? Okay. He knows all the answers. Can we, I mean, I'm saying if he's got the same goal. Yeah, if you have the same goal, maybe we just travel with you.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Fine, maybe the real, the real hard one will show his true identity. AKA me. Fuck. Maybe the real, the real hard one will show his true identity. AKA me. Fuck. When you say me, Bev looks at both of them. Linguistically that kind of led us in one direction. Totally. I have no, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Grab his back. Yeah. Bev looks around to see if there's another Bev. Um, there is not another Bev. I guess, I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess-
Starting point is 00:10:47 I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess-
Starting point is 00:10:53 I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess-
Starting point is 00:11:01 I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I guess- I Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha put a rag over my mouth and then you spores me and then I came here. That sounds about right. Yeah, yeah, that'll just happen. Yeah, yeah. How do you know?
Starting point is 00:11:31 You're a dire. Because I'm me. I'm hard one sure foot. The bastard of the mountain. The off dead. OK, maybe you two should just strip down the wrestle. I think maybe just to like see who wins. I popped my shirt and tackle him.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Can I go and sniff him? Can I go and sniff him? Can you go and sniff him? Yeah, I wanna get in real close to the nape of the neck where all your most personal sense come out. Moonshan, go and roll a perception check with advantage. I'm gonna be mad at this works. Which one is she sniffing? I mean, I'm gone for both. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:08 I think I gingerly walk towards hard one number one, taking a deep nape of the next sniff. Yeah, this is like as I'm squaring up to fight you. Then I'm walking into the other one, taking another deep huff of hard one. And I got a 23. Jesus Christ. Okay. Which I you walk over to one of the hard ones. The one played by me. You
Starting point is 00:12:38 does he smell like he've been drinking smells like sweat and blood and alcohol that he's sweating out. You go over to the other hard one. The one being played by Jake at the moment, and he smells like sulfur. I don't make any moves, but I go to Bev, and I just report to Spore's Bev, and I report to him what I
Starting point is 00:13:07 Smelled oh, that's a no-no smell Are you always smells like sulfur guys know what to make of it? What I smell like sulfur yeah, keep wrestling though. I want to see how that goes. We can let him wrestle it out but I got my eye on. So far. Yeah, dude, I wouldn't dress sulfur hard when either. Which one of us smells like fucking sulfur. I see it smell like a bit.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Oh fuck. Wait, you nods that you smell like sulfur, and that's no good. Yeah. That's eggs. I may be un-evil. Maybe you're evil. Hold on. Let maybe submit yourself, prostrate yourself. We're gonna get this figured out. Kill me.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Okay, well, we don't need to go that far, but I think maybe we can like, you know, hard one, hard one. Let's all try and work this out. Maybe we don't need to fight. Yeah, maybe we don't kill anyone just yet. I like the idea that one of the real hard one will reveal himself in battle. But y'all can keep wrestling. Maybe we'll wear your wrestling. Or you'll fuck you over.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Should we wrestle? I think y'all should wrestle. Alright, fine. Yeah, let's wrestle. Okay, um, go ahead and make an athletics check. Alright, if you see any weird devil fuckery From you from me kill my ass. Okay 21 for initiative. You guys see My hard one Rex Jake's hard one
Starting point is 00:14:45 What just starts the one who smells like sulfur is getting owned right now to rest of that. I get, I report scores just bad again and I say, okay, this may sound cruel but I mean it in a kind way. Doesn't it feel like hard one would lose to himself? Doesn't it feel like the most hard one thing that hard one could do? You know, I could see going that way but I could also see them being in some sort of week-long stalemate. Yeah. It's really gotta go one way or the other, though.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Yeah. I don't think it's not like a good clean fight. It's gonna be, you're not gonna feel like you paid your money's worth for this UFC match. I guess that's what I'm getting out of here. Huh. Well, so the sulfur hard one has been defeated and is lying on the ground.
Starting point is 00:15:27 They're just wrestling, they're just grappling. But he's getting his ass kicked? Yes. Isn't it just like me to get my ass kicked by the devil? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Is he bleeding regular blood? I smell like sulfur in this guy's kicking my ass. That's my luck. Hard one, sulfur hard one. Yeah. I'm so sorry this guy's kicking my ass. That's my luck. Hard one, silver hard one. Yeah. I would like to put you in the bag with your head sticking out. I will do the wrong thing and hide in the bag.
Starting point is 00:15:58 I want to cast Turn the Faithless. OK. It's an other ancient words that are powerful for fey and fiend to hear. I present a holy symbol as action. Each fey or fiend within 30 feet. They can hear it, it must make a wisdom saving throw. Unfail creatures turn for one minute
Starting point is 00:16:15 or until it takes damage. Cool, you cast that, you see neither of them move. What was that, dude? Can I try to spell magic? Yes. And when just chill, we're gonna cast a bunch of spells real quick. I'm just gonna do a quick. No one needs to be alarmed.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Cause whoever's being honest, except for the one who's not being honest, they should be alarmed. I'm gonna cast a fourth level to spell magic. On who? On the room. No, you gotta pick a card. I gotta pick.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Well, I gotta go, sulfur boy. Sulfur boys, where I would go. So, where I a pick. I got a pick. Well, I got to go, Silver Boy. Silver Boy's where I would go. Silver Boy goes first? Yeah. Okay, so you cast Dispel Magic on the hard one that Jake is playing right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:58 And you see, he turns into this mist monster. I'm telling you, I'm a fucking monster. Okay, give me, you may now play the real hard one again. You see this mist monster as soon as it is revealed, launches towards hard one, everybody roll initiative. How dare you? 11. I got a 22. 13. It's hard because hard one normally smells
Starting point is 00:17:27 like eggs, which are sulfurous, but this monster smells much more sulfurous. I am gassy. Hard one that is your turn. You see this mist version of hard one just whispering at you. I'm the real hard one, short foot. The bastard of the mountain. No, you are a sulfurous boy. You're the sulfur boy. Not this one. Watch this. No, you watch this.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I guess it's miss, but I'm gonna try to swing my hand right out of it. Sweet God. Watch missed. Watch missed. Watch missed. Uh, 13. Uh, 13 does not hit.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Okay. You see missed hard one Uh, 13 does not hit. Okay. You see, Mist Hard One, uh, does a split. Ugh. Ugh. He crits in splits. The Misty Split. I clock this. Like, what, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Okay, I do, I do a, uh, Do you like my cool hat? My dad gave it to me. No, he didn't, your hat is sulfur and you're sulfur. I do a really high kick and swing my axiot again, or my axiot, my acres, embers. See it? 20 to hit.
Starting point is 00:18:29 That looks a bit bad, and I'm like, a little still a little confused. Yeah, it's like that one's all misty. Why are you guys confused? Their misery is turned into mist. Yes, he turned into mist, but that split was so convincing. Can you turn into mist? Hard one?
Starting point is 00:18:44 Yeah, I can't turn into mist. I can't remember hard one turning Can you turn into Miss, hard one? Yeah, I can't turn into Miss. I don't remember hard one turning into Miss. Yeah, he's got ghost daddy's why couldn't you turn into Miss? I can't turn into Miss. I can split, watch this. Wait, moonshine, did you gash his form him? Maybe, I guess you're not must have done. I thought I tried to cast and just spell magic.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Hit the sulfur, sir. The sulfur, sir. Hit the sulfur, sir, for. How much damage do you do? Did 16 damage. Cool. The sulfur, sir. The sulfur, sir, for how much damage do you do? Did. 16 damage. Cool. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:09 How does he take that kind of damage? What do we see? What kind of reaction? You see, hard one has a magic weapon, so it does strike a fog hard one. Oh, great. Does that hard one have a magic weapon? Can I do an inside jagger something?
Starting point is 00:19:21 Sure. Shout out to the two crew. I mean, they're virtually identical. You once again. Yeah, just look like twins. We gotta get you into Sears Portrait. Yeah, just stinking of sulfur. Just fully aghast that occasionally forms
Starting point is 00:19:39 like hard ones face and makes one of them. Wow, two hard ones, maybe it's heaven. Yeah. Bed that you're turning. All right, two hard ones, maybe it's heaven. Yeah. Bad that you're turning. I'm making it. Alright, double missed gum, let's do this. Bev, come on, I'm your scout master. That voice seemed a little off, I rolled a one, I'm going to reroll that.
Starting point is 00:19:57 This 14 hit, 14 does hit. Oh, whoo, whoo. Alright, cool. As a bonus action, I'm going to go and activate my re-roll blade. Great. The green energy cuts through the fog, and now we'll cut through the sulfur. Great. At some point, is your blade gonna turn gray?
Starting point is 00:20:15 I think that it's probably a lighter green at this point already. I think the color is probably seeping from it. A little bit sage. Yeah. The mint knife. It's like an avocado right now. Tasteful.
Starting point is 00:20:30 The inside of one, right? Yeah. Okay, that's going to be 13 on the first hit. Sweet. And lemmey's. Wack again. Okay, 19. That'll hit.
Starting point is 00:20:43 That hits. And that's 14 more damage. But the squats have really been working for you. Well thank you. I think the squats have been working for you. This guy's, no I'm really proud of you man. This guy smells like eggs. Silver boy seems to have like a connection with you. I've got a connection with you.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Let's do our secret handshake. We do our secret handshake. He also knows our secret handshake. We do our secret handshake. He also knows the secret handshake. What? Which handshake? His hands are missed. His hands are definitely missed. I kind of like the sole foot a minute. Hold on. I let the miss wash over me and I feel like it clears up my complexion a little bit. Oh, it's like a sole for mask. Interesting. Yeah, see that's one thing he's good for but not any of the other stuff. Okay, I'm going for sulfur boy great
Starting point is 00:21:26 But I'm gonna do is I'll go into a rage and then go for sulfur boy great Okay, that's another charge from his Rosalene damn Crittin in a rage. Yeah, and that's gonna be Crittin in the name of 32 Damn in a rage. Yeah. And that's gonna be Critten in the name of 32. Two, Damn. Damn, from Silphus. How could you do this Mochai and we kissed?
Starting point is 00:21:53 You remember? Of course, I remember. Maybe you didn't remember because we were in the weird trans thing. We all kiss all the time. It's not special. True. Good point.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I will get both hard ones. Just see the reaction to that. So it cuts deep. So it cuts so deep with Zofa Hard one. Zofa Hard one is going to cast charm person at a fourth level. Wow, everyone, go ahead and give me wisdom saving throws. I'm gonna go ahead and give myself advantage because I have Advantage against being chirmed. Great. Oh, don't forget to add plus four. Oh, we add your plus four. Yep.
Starting point is 00:22:36 19 19 21 27 Jesus. Hey, guys, advantage and y'all out before me everyone passes including down I mean you recalculate for you guys that is true the silver smell is starting to tickle my nostrils You're like a you're like a smelling salt in the human form what just normal hard one doesn't hard one cast charm person and stuff all the time Normal hard ones, you know That is a really good car. Car one has never cast a spell ever. You know what I'm saying? Wait, that guy, that was cool. That's the real hard one. Kill me.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Hang on, wait, I forgot. I'm actually moon chan sabit. What? I know that might not be me anymore. I dropped my weapon and embraced myself. Hard one, go ahead and give me a Constitution saving throw. 29. 29. Okay, in fact, everybody give me Constitution saving throws.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Okay. Uh oh. Constitution? Yeah. 10. 10? Yeah. 10. 10. 23. Something happens, but I'm not going to tell you what.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Oh boy. Oh no. Oh yeah. Now we got two shine on our hand. Sweet. Oh, two shine. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor is going to pull out his gun and shoot it at the mist because that's funny. Stay back. Stay back. He's so fresh. Queen. I hit Swanns for seven damage.
Starting point is 00:24:14 This stinky queen is about ball or an a tizzy. You see the mist is starting to dissipate a little bit. That is back up to hard one. Sweet. I'm gonna swing my hard one go at me. All right I'm gonna swing it at moonshine and ask you to duck at the last Last time hey hard one. Did you ever look at my amulet? Oh, no, I did it. Do that. Oh, you're at like 4 HP Yeah, yeah, I would like to not die. I'd like to kill myself at 4 HP. That's kind of cool. Yeah Pretty metal. Yeah, pretty metal. Yeah, 26 to hit.
Starting point is 00:24:47 That hits. Yeah, fuck me up. All right. Moonshine. OK. You see, as you go to swing the hammer, you see little missed paw paw comes out of the ear. Oh, save it.
Starting point is 00:25:01 I don't want to. Save it. I don't care if it's miss. It's beautiful. Save it. I will not. I'm's Mr. Newflu. Save it! I will not, I'm swinging at Misty Moonshine's head. Okay. 15 damage.
Starting point is 00:25:12 15 damage, okay. Not to the Misty Pop-Off. You clocked the Pop-Off and lived. You clock Misty Moonshine's head clean off and Misty Pop-Off's head takes your place. Okay, that's got a farm. You face it here. He's in now fully pop-off. No, it's like Moonshine's body with Pop- Papa's head takes your place. Okay, that's gotta find the cute face. He's here, we're here. He's in now fully, Papa.
Starting point is 00:25:27 No, it's like Moonshot's body with Papa's head. Rainier. Rainier. That's a fun look. This is getting too hot. You see, real Papa comes out of Moonshot's bib and starts yapping at it. Rain, rain, rain.
Starting point is 00:25:38 Okay, Papa, if you'll coast sign, I will kill this room. Rainier. Rainier. Rainier. Rainier. I feel like, I don't know if I want to save my luck points. I think it's probably worth. I think I might go a little light on spells, hoping that this is like kind of an...
Starting point is 00:25:56 All right, cool. I will just convince. I'll with this because I love Papa too much. Yeah, you're probably looking at pop-up while you swung, trying to make sure at the last second double checking that you had is approval. You cool with this? And as a bonus action, I will look at that as Antler.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Oh, good. Oh, good. Hard one at the end of your turn, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Nat 20, there I go. Oh, you feeling good. Bev, that is your turn. All right. Yeah, it's spooked me up. Yeah, that is your turn. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Um, how was it? Yeah, it fucked me up. Yeah, how's this sulfurous witch looking? Rare. Wow. Now I want to be the sulfurous. Rare. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:34 That's pretty cool. It's that's pop-up moonshine stinking of sulfur. Rare. It's all, it's like your best and worst qualities put together. Ha, ha, ha. A21. 21 hits. Will it? Yes. It's like your best and worst qualities put together 21 21 11 on the first hit sweet
Starting point is 00:26:53 Ooh 13 does not hit yikes I I guess I kind of like Swing at it and it does like a miss missed. Yeah, you miss Transforms into Bev senior No Swing at it and it does like a mismissed. Yeah, you miss. Oh, you miss the miss. Transforms into Bev's senior. No! What? Freakin' low blow.
Starting point is 00:27:10 You messed up, man. Low blow. You messed up. No. That's why I went to the devil. Time out. I'm just gonna do a bad job. Freakin' no, do a bad job.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Yeah. That's why. That's why I really wanted to attack myself. Did you feel that way hard one? Yeah, I liked to attack. Yeah, I kind of wanted to cut myself out. It was therapeutic as hell. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Bev, at the end of your turn, make your constitution saving throw. Okay. 13. Okay. Everyone, I've got to do some extremely active therapy. Stand back. That is...
Starting point is 00:27:41 Moonchains turn. All right, I'm so sorry, Bev. You know, I love Bev's senior and you know that there's just a pile of mist. Circumstances. Does a 22 hit? Does. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, I'm too good for my own good.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Okay, well that was a lot of talk for nothing. That's gonna be 12 spores and for another 6. 18. Nice. It is, oh, it is not immune to poison. That's crazy. He's made a mist. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:28:12 That makes sense. It's a pure mist and I'm infecting that mist. It's true. It's like when you get mold in your humidifier. Okay. Oh yeah. It's starting to dissipate quite a bit. It looks pretty messed up.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Turns back into, you know what? It's gonna turn into Gemma. Wow. And take a crack at the next one. I lower my weapon to your worst. You failed me. I wanted it. I sure did.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Kill me. So it's just gonna be like this the whole time, huh? And hits with, I guess, Gemma has a sword? Sure. You know what my AC is 20 now, right? Yes. I rolled a natural 19 and it gets plus more than that to hit. Only does seven damage. Cool. Slashes into you. You get this nasty little cut. And then it is going to try to eat more of your memories. Go ahead and roll a wisdom saving throw.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So that's what it's doing. Okay. Okay. Okay. The, no, do I get that? That's the thing. I don't know if they're gonna do it. The saving throw?
Starting point is 00:29:23 14. Yeah. 14. Not gonna do it. Oh no. Oh, it's goblin' your memories. Well, that might be good. I feel like we've got a lot of things you'd like to forget. Yeah, maybe. There's definitely a couple that you can have for free.
Starting point is 00:29:34 You see, Gemma missed, Flies Forward, and Kisses You, Hard One. And you guys, for the outside, see it. Dementor style begins sucking the life out of hard one. It is literally eating your memories. Hard one, you take 16 psychic damage. Wow. Just so everyone knows I'm finally this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Yep. I look down at my blade. You can remember it all wholesale, bud. So hard one, you are now memory drained. The target must roll a D4 and subtract the number rolled from any ability check or attack roll the mix. Each time the target is memory drained,
Starting point is 00:30:10 beyond the first, the die increases by one. Wow, for how long? Until a shorter, a long rest. What about a luster restoration? It needs to be greater restoration or heal. This is seem like hard one kind of likes it when she kisses him. So hard one, you do feel frazzled.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Like you immediately lose your short term memory and you don't know why you're here and you just see ghost Gemma on you. Like you forget the past like two days. That one. Check your arm for tattoos. Boundour's turn. The the Bound or just a character Bound or shoots his gun Missed on the first attack hits on the second attack does a six damage hard one that's your turn
Starting point is 00:30:58 Can I make an attack on goes Gemma yeah, okay? I I guess I will but I don't know why I would. Bucket, Balnor shooting you, so I think I have to kill you. Wouldn't it be pronounced Joe's to Jemma? Yeah. Okay. So just tell me what you get, I'll roll the D4 for you. I rolled it. Oh, it's not going to work. I rolled the 13. Not going to do it. Cool. I'll do it again. 21 to hit. Minus two, 19 still hits. 19. 19 damage.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Hard one, finish. The mist. Good Lord. I guess I, you also fully don't know why you're here. Right. Can we get the mist to turn into like, something? An animal like a horse or something that Hard one feels more acclimated. We don't know why you're here, right? Can we get the mist to turn into like, an animal, like a horse or something that hard won't feel as more acclimated.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If the mist turns into a horse, I would kill it on sight. Yeah, you see, as you go to strike it, it turns into like a beautiful baby deer and looks up at you, confused. Well, time to test your metal. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Yeah, I flip my hand ax up in my hand, catch it and swipe it across the throat with one quick motion. Like a kosher slaughter. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, what's up everybody? You see there was a fucking deer in here?
Starting point is 00:32:16 Don't worry, I took care of it. No one asked. So hardwood, yeah, you cut this mist deer apart. It disperses and turns back into just thick fog. So hardwood, yeah, you cut this mist deer apart. It disperses and turns back into just thick fog. Right, I don't really feel like myself. I go to my knee and then fall on my face. Okay, so does he still have...
Starting point is 00:32:36 Did Hardwood ever get healed? Yeah, he looked at my hand and right, got it. Yeah, he looked at the amulet and did a second wind. Got him, I did not. Okay, I'm gonna go with that. So is he still afflicted with this? Yeah. It's cool.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Hard one. I got you. This might not make sense right now, but I got you. Just, you know, I don't know. Go with the flow right now. You could be really present right now. Think of it like a mushroom trip. I'm all in.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Hard one puts out his palm. Okay. Hard one. Come over here. Bring all in. Hard one puts out his palm. Okay, hard one, come over here, bring it in, group hug, everybody, group hug. Yeah, I'll get in. I crawl on the floor. And then we all huddle around and I cast great a restoration on him. Hard one, okay, wait. You imbue a creature you touch with positive energy to undo a debilitating effect. Okay, so I actually have to, I have so I actually have to all like the dumb feelings that I've had from Queen Ezra
Starting point is 00:33:32 and the confusion and maybe jealousy and all that shit. I just got put in the back burner and just think of really positive thoughts and then check, put them in the hard one. Nine vibes only. Hard one, you get your memory back. You are still in this confusing plane that you guys really know nothing about surrounded by all this fog in this destroyed great hall.
Starting point is 00:34:02 And Beverly give me another constitution saving throw. Oh boy. Oh my lord. Can I cast a lesser restoration on that? You guys don't know what's going on. Okay, that is a constitution saving set. That's going to be nine. Okay. I think that rolls. We're good. Don't worry. Good vibes. Good rolls. Yeah. I think it's one of those spells where as long as you don't get a one, you're fun. Because we're all just chillaxing.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Yeah. So you guys are. You just have to be able to out there. Yeah, I get the hookah going. We get some cushions on the floor. Yeah, let's just like try and inhale some of this mist. Yeah. So you guys are in this deep mist.
Starting point is 00:34:42 And everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. Not one. Not one, okay. 19, 10. But I mean, it becomes an eight. I've got really good perception, so. Okay, with those perception checks, you guys are all still just trying to get your bearings,
Starting point is 00:34:59 trying to figure out what's going on here, Beverly, give me another constitution saving throw. Wait, with a 19 and notice anything? You did not. We all want me to cast like fairy fire or daylight. Daylights, maybe a third level. Would fairy fire give us enough range to see where we need to go?
Starting point is 00:35:14 Okay, daylight's gonna be an hour, but only for 60 feet. Oh, but it's on, it spreads out from a point you choose within a range, yeah, so it'd kind of be limited to here. Oh, if you choose a point on an object you are holding or one that isn't being ordered or carried the light shines from the object and moves with it.
Starting point is 00:35:31 That's cool. I cast daylight on Paw Paw. And we use him like a little scrambled torch. Oh, awesome beacon. Moonshine, you cast daylight on Paw Paw and Paw Paw begins to glow. And what is it? It's like a 60 foot. Yes, so basically like 60 feet in diameter.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah, for an hour. So this whole area lights up. While the daylight is up, go ahead and give me perception checks with advantage. Okay. Ha. 21. 23.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I got a not 20. A. Yeah. There it is. Hard one, you see that the mist around Bev is turning red. You see that it is literally draining the blood from him. And that Bev, by the way, you have taken 20 damage. What are you looking at, guys? And you haven't even noticed it.
Starting point is 00:36:20 That you're bleeding, young, and is there okay? You're leaking, buddy. Oh shoot, did I pick a scab? I maybe it popped something. I was trying to shave. I've got like a couple hairs that are coming in. Moonshine, help me shove it back in. Okay, can I do an inside of lesser restoration?
Starting point is 00:36:36 We'll save him from this. Sure. I have two. Shout out to the deer group. You can't, you can't really tell. So I just have to cast it on him. Okay, I just, uh, maybe if I heal him though, I'm gonna do a first level cure wound,
Starting point is 00:36:52 see if that makes him feel better. 10. 10, 10. Okay, I get healed for 10. Yeah, so you get 10 HP back, you had taken 20 damage from these failed constitution saving throws that you hadn't noticed as blood was being drained
Starting point is 00:37:05 from your body. Can I lift up a shirt and inspect it for holes? Or inspect him for holes? Sure, you don't see any holes on him. How's my time? You do see that as you guys, just the one hole. That one's supposed to be there. As you guys notice, the blood being siphoned from Bev
Starting point is 00:37:19 by the fog around him, you see it begins to retract and this deep red that was surrounding Bev begins to spread out to be like a light pink or a light red in like a bigger area of the mist. Can I try and scoop up his blood in the mist? Because I don't want his blood getting dissipated. I want to try and take- That's my blood! I want to try and take my leftover nanoflide jar, which doesn't have any nanoflides. So they're second home. I make them go back and forth,
Starting point is 00:37:50 based on when they shit the other one up. And I wanna try and take that and capture all the blood. There is a decent amount of it. That is, and you're gonna try to do it. And you're gonna do it. Decent effort. Okay, I will say DC 30 athletics check. But you get through a lot of D100.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Ha ha ha ha. Okay. I did not get it. What'd you get? 13. Okay, moonshine, you take out a jar and begin trying to scoop this bloody fog and you're able to get get a little bit of it,
Starting point is 00:38:25 but you see it continues to spread throughout the mist, and you see the mist begins rising. That's my blood. I really feel like they shouldn't have your blood. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey. And it begins raining blood.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Get back here with my blood! You guys have this daylight, bright daylight going out in this fog. You guys still don't see anywhere to go, any civilization or anything. Blood is raining down on you and you begin to hear skittering in the distance. Summer showers, I guess. Let's just start walking in. Should I just try and like go up the blood as a training? Let's just go walk in a direction. We need to get out of here. Yeah, okay. I wish I wish it just be leaving my blood. I'm a little I don't know what every way there is to get.
Starting point is 00:39:09 It's a good point. I mean, if you have another idea, I think we should just be walking because there's just going to be people attacking us. So let's get out of here. Okay, I could cast magic circle and try and contain whatever is going to be in this blood. Sure. If you want to do something else, I'm totally fine with that. Um, I'm just worried that like something is gonna sprout out of the ground. Okay, so do something. Alright, I'm gonna cast...
Starting point is 00:39:31 This is a weird spell called Magic Circle, uh, does a lot of effects. I think it would basically contain whatever Fay thing is gonna be coming out of here. Okay, creature can't willingly enter the cylinder. You can like to cause its magic to operate in the reverse direction, preventing a creature of the specified type from leaving the cylinder and protecting targets outside it. Basically, it's like a prison. Yeah, it's your blood. If you want, if my instinct is to run, if you're instinct is to stay and figure this out, then I'm with you. Okay, well hard one, what do you think? Um, I don't know. I mean, what are we going to do? Collect your blood.
Starting point is 00:40:04 You guys aren't covered in blood at this point. Just a rain pouring down. I feel like we've got a lot of it back. I'm gonna cast Magic Circle and we're gonna leave this circle where all the blood is. Okay. So yeah, I'm gonna say that this main hall, this like decrepit building that you guys are in
Starting point is 00:40:21 is the area that is being covered in blood rain Bev you begin casting this spell. It's gonna take about a minute I cast it with my own blood with your own blood Need to make a ruin on the Again, remember when I said I was stocking a stupid spell that I didn't want to stock earlier when I cast I stocked create food and water. Can I create water to get us all clean? You can do that later right now. We're in a shower. Oh yeah. Sure. One big shower. Yeah. Okay. Well, so here's what we're gonna do. It's gonna take bev one minute to
Starting point is 00:41:01 cast that spell. There are many baddies that live in the mist. Guys, go ahead and roll me an encounter check. One person do it, the lower you roll, the worse it's gonna be. Then perhaps Heartland does this roll consider in his- No, can't do luck check. This is just me letting you guys do a roll in front of the table so you don't think I'm screwing you over. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Who wants to do it? Hardware, and you do it. Dear man. 16. 16. Oh, yeah. You guys do hear like hisses and like monsters like in the distance.
Starting point is 00:41:38 And you see pop-offs just like glowing this lantern in the night. It's like. Okay, go away, go away. Are you getting rid of it? I get rid of daylight. Okay, you get rid of daylight. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Blood pouring down. You are able to successfully cast Magic Circle, Bev. I create a spectral gazebo out of Pelora's life. Sweet. And what are you guys doing now? You have the spectral gazebo. Nothing has burst out of the ground or anything. Well, we're safe inside here, but we can also leave and contain whatever is in here in some sort of gazebo jail if we want to.
Starting point is 00:42:12 That's cool too. Yeah, I feel like we need to leave this great hall, right? Yeah. Yeah. My instinct once the gazebo was up to like wait for the string quartet and the past apps, but in lieu of that, I think we paid. There's going to be a press.. There's gonna be a press. Let's do a perception check to see if there's like any more derives coming out.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Okay, where's the like- I gotta snap. No past, definitely no past apps. Or there are and we don't see it. Yeah, sure. Y'all, I don't think there's past apps. You gotta stick around and- Wait for a move.
Starting point is 00:42:41 It's scary. Just because we leave the mini hot dogs chunk. I was saying it, it picks in a blanket. Alright, yeah, let's bounce from this mini hotdog chunk. Dang it, picked in a blanket. Alright, yeah, let's bounce from this, because we, cool. You guys run off. Leave me be. Okay, if we're running behind, I guess, I don't know if this is stupid, but I cast Cantrip, produce flame to cast a little bit more.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Yeah, absolutely. Okay, you guys do see like a little bit of moon light, but it is very dark here, and there is this dense fog. You guys bring the, like a torch up, and you guys do see that there are like other broken down buildings here. You see a few homes and like a derelict church and like a derelict barracks.
Starting point is 00:43:17 What's the tallest building? Probably the barracks. The church would be like a steep old building? It's like a chapel. It's not like a big cathedral or anything. Let's climb the barracks and see church would be like a steeple. It's like a chapel. It's not like a big cathedral or anything Let's climb the barracks and see if we can get a view of like the area a little more. Does that seem good? Yeah, I wonder if we get up there if we felt safe enough we could get rid of the flame and then see if our eyes adjust at all I actually have my night vision goggles. I do have a dark vision. I could cast on someone. I've just got normal eyes
Starting point is 00:43:44 Okay, so you guys are running towards this barracks. Yeah, and you're gonna start climbing it. Yeah cool I do have dark vision, I could cast on someone. I've just got normalized. Okay. So you guys are running towards this barracks, and you're gonna start climbing it? Yeah. Cool. As you guys start running towards it, I'm gonna say at this point, you're getting pretty far away from your magic circle. So you're not gonna be near it.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Should we turn off this torch so nobody can see us? Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and do dark vision on Beverly. Oh, great, that's very helpful. Does that help? Or am I just burning myself? That helps Bev, because Bev, honestly, I thought Halflings had dark vision on Beverly. Oh, great. That's very helpful. Does that help? Or am I just burning my belt? That helps Bev, because Bev, honestly, I thought Halflings had dark vision, so I just was assuming that all of you guys do,
Starting point is 00:44:11 but you don't. So Valor just following you guys. Hold on to my cloak, Valor. Just holding on to your cloak. Very difficult to see with all this mist and everything, but you guys were able to see this barracks. You guys start running towards the barracks. I'm gonna roll an encounter check.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Okay. As you guys start to get close to this barracks. I'm gonna roll an encounter check. Okay. As you guys start to get close to this barracks, everybody give me a perception check. 17, 20. 20. Oh, shit. 21. Sorry, Hard one.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Oh, just an honor. I rolled an encounter check, but let me roll stealth check. Okay, hard one and moonshine. You guys, as you guys are running towards this barracks, you hear like a, like this monstery, skittering sound as this, as something runs by behind you.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Okay, we're being hunted. Okay, I'm gonna cast Pass Without Trace on all of us. Okay. Everyone line it up. We're doing Pass Without Trace. I present. Hi. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Everyone gets a little buck cup. I'm getting Pass Without Trace. Cause maybe that'll do something. Seems wise, are we still, is the plan still to climb? Operation, I think so. Operation Bear climb, Operation Upward Lad. Upward Lad.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Yes, great. There's still going on. Okay, yeah, let's keep on making our way up. But I guess I'm gonna, now I'm just gonna have my head on the swivel for this spider. Should we maybe like all go back to back and kind of circle? Oh, that's nice. Keeping bowed in the middle because it's a Kacoi.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Yeah, exactly. Okay, you guys hear this thing skittering. You guys cast past without trace. You are all still covered in blood. So this thing saw you before you cast past without trace. So everybody roll initiative. I'll say that you guys saw it. It saw you. It's like last lap trace. So, everybody roll initiative. I'll say that you guys saw it. It saw you.
Starting point is 00:46:06 It's like this lesser vampire, this monstrous down and all for this hooked-backed monster with fangs charges at you guys. Everybody roll initiative. Ooh, like a gross faratu. Shout out to the two crew. Shout out to the three crew. Shout out to 11 friends.
Starting point is 00:46:26 You have 11 friends. I have 11 friends. You guys see this thing pounces forward and it's going to jump at Bev because it mostly smells Bev's blood. Bev's blood. That's boy blood right there. That's fresh blood.
Starting point is 00:46:39 And it's not like any kind of swav vampire that is like a sweet talk or anything. It's just, everybody wants this sweet boy blood. You are you are such a romantic archivist. You see it has like black smoke coming out of empty eye sockets. Great. And it does in fact Bite into bev. Oh no. Am I vampir? Is it the same vampire rules? No, it is not regular vampire rules. Bev, you take 15 cold damage.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Ooh. And then I'm gonna need you to roll a D6. What is this? Freaking monopoly? It's gonna fucking bleed again. Five. Your strength score is lowered by five. Ooh. Your life force is drained. Does that mean it goes down to negative one?
Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, no score a score. Hmm. Okay, one second sure cool 13. What does that translate to a plus two? Okay, so your tax go down by how much however much that is why is everyone after my blood that is Bev's turn Okay, great You said that it doesn't have eyes. Right. Can I, as a free action, use my refillable mug to douse myself with beer to get rid of the blood covering me? Yes. Yeah, I'll let you douse yourself with beer
Starting point is 00:47:56 as you took a walk me down. Did the shadow fill? I've always got to walk me down. You got to be prepared in shadow fill. That's awesome, kid. Yeah. All right, so I do that. And then- be prepared in Shadowfell. That's awesome kid. Yeah. All right. So I do that and then- Shadowfell is open, Nutaner. You got to try a Shadowfell hurricane. Oh, damn. And then can I go
Starting point is 00:48:14 ahead and attack as well? Sure. Okay. Does a 24 hit. Does. Great. I'm gonna go into a second level divine smite. Nice. Nice. Or an extra D8. Ooh, all right. Cool. Okay, so do 48 on top of my normal. Yeah, all right, great. But do less strength. 24 damage. Nice.
Starting point is 00:48:34 On the first attack, this thing screeches and skitters back. I kind of pursue it with my blade. Hell yeah. Lighting the way. The green energy, like seeping, I feel like the green energy is kind of like flowing off of my blade and it's getting paler and paler as I go.
Starting point is 00:48:52 You see as you do things like divine smite, you see the fog kind of dissipates a little bit around you and you see like little minor beasties that are just, you know, waiting like vultures trying to eat at your corpse when these other guys of bite at ya. Like little spider start, skittering back as you walk forward. Pelor, grant me the strength to avenge those who need it and to preserve the light where it is dimmest. Uh, that's going to be a 21. Super hits. Great. Um's go and do another Divine Smite. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:30 36 damage. Nice. Smash this thing again. Radiant energy explodes. My blood is only for discerning billionaires in Silicon Valley. My ripe young blood. Moonshan, that's your turn. Okay. You got to shell out for this blood. I'm going to do. So there's, so there's like other creatures lurking in the shadows. So, I wanna do a title wave, like I said before, but I wanted to crash on this Dracula folk
Starting point is 00:49:56 and anyone else in front of us, but not us. And then it says that the water then spreads out across the ground in all directions, extinguishing unprotected flames in its area, and then it vanishes, but I want it to be around long enough so that we can also wipe the blood off of ourselves. Okay, cool. So, is that my game plan? Cool.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Let me get away with that. Yes. Okay. Did you save throw? I did. I did save throw. It says each creature in that area must make a dexterity saving throw on a failure. A creature takes 4D8 bludgeoning damage and is knocked prone.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Cool, this one fails. On success, they take half damage. This guy fails. You could just cover yourself in beer like I did. But it's a 30 foot long, up to 10 feet wide, so I want to try and get these other guys in there too. Oh, great idea. You dumped a stout on your head, huh?
Starting point is 00:50:46 This is big multi-head. Yeah. The head of the beer is still on top of my head. 16. 16. Yeah, you hold your hands out. You see blue energy swirls. You create water.
Starting point is 00:50:58 This tidal wave bursts forward. Takes out this vampire who flops on the ground as water goes all over it. Running water is bad for vampires, so it'll take a little bit of more damage on its turn. You see the water spread out. He's knocked prone. He's knocked prone, he falls down. You see a giant spider in the background gets washed away by the water.
Starting point is 00:51:23 And I take some of that water and I start to work on this bleeding metal. So when you start to splash your face in the water, that is... Oh, this is like a shower. I just love that you flushed this spider down the toilet. The hard ones turn, which you should never do in real life, everybody. Really?
Starting point is 00:51:38 Why? Spiders are good. Oh, the spiders are good. It's true. I think they're pretty cool. They're the best. But not that spider. I'm gonna try to knock the vampire on the noggin great with my
Starting point is 00:51:47 Queen's hammer 27 super hits 14 damage 14 damage. This thing is insanely hurt sweet. I am gonna knock knock it with my hammer again sweet No, I'm not shout out to the two crew. It's actually prone so you get advantage. Oh! Oh! 25 hits. I should have just forced him if I can forgot.
Starting point is 00:52:13 17 damage. Hard one finish this lesser vampire. I am going to grab it by its hunched back and drown it in moonshines. Oh! I splashed some of the tidal wave on my face and take a quick shower. Yeah, quick dip. You guys just a body shower. Body guys, wash up.
Starting point is 00:52:34 You get the blood off of you as best you can. Are you guys using torches or anything? What are you guys doing? No, we have dark vision. Okay, you guys all have dark vision. Dark vision, night goggles, banners, confused, as fuck, gorgeous, home man. Where are we going?
Starting point is 00:52:47 Well, also, I mean, I've got my sword kind of gleaming with a radiant light. Is that drawing anything? Do we know? Not yet. Okay, she that. She did. I see that.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Okay, what are you guys doing? I want to take a tooth from the vampire and give it to moonshine for a barbarian necklace. Hell yeah, I throw that thing on. That looks good. Dang, I look good. All right. I'm gonna tap the dregs of Bebs walk me down.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Oh yeah, anyone wants a beer bath? Just let me know. Yeah, real quick. It's taste. Remember a simpler time. You begin to hear things skittering towards the all-per-age and all-per-age line. See, you guys are gonna climb the sparricks?
Starting point is 00:53:26 Yeah. Sweet. So yeah, this barracks kind of looks like mini castle. It's got like four towers. The one closest to you, let's say it's basically like this circular tower and at the top like half of it is broken off, but you could definitely go up there
Starting point is 00:53:40 and use it for its intended purposes. So you guys wanna climb this rock building? Yeah. Go ahead and give me athletics checks. Uh-oh, lower strength. Oh, man. I tie myself to a hard one. Great.
Starting point is 00:53:54 11. 17. 20, not net. Everybody did well enough that you're all going to be able to get up there. Moonchine's going a little slow with her 11. So go ahead and roll me an encounter check as you guys climb this thing.
Starting point is 00:54:13 I'll say one through 10, something's gonna 19. 19. You guys are able to get up. You do hear some little like monsters, some little beasties start eating this vampire behind you, but it doesn't see, but they don't see you and they don't sense you because you're not covered in blood anymore.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Everybody want that, it's blood. So you guys are climbing up this tower? Yeah, you guys climb to the top of this tower. You see this, yeah, just deep, deep fog. Everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Ooh, 20, not that. Shit. 14. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:52 17. You guys all see in the deep, deep distance the lights of some kind of settlement, of some kind of city. And you see a keep on like a mountain overlooking that city you see lights there like torches and stuff too far away for you to totally make anything out and all of this mist makes it very hard to see and Bev you also see eight torches spread out in the mist, heading out from the settlement,
Starting point is 00:55:27 walking towards you guys. Oh, we got a sprint. Got a sprint out. All right, I mean, are we having roofed up to roofed up or something? Should we, I'm guessing that there's a, if there's a settlement with torches, it's probably at least someone we can commune with. I don't know if they're friendly. I don't know, they're carrying torches and they're carrying torches, it's probably at least someone we can commune with, I don't know if they're friendly.
Starting point is 00:55:46 They're carrying torches and they're in our direction. They're carrying torches towards us because we shine a bunch of lights. That's very true out of vampire. I think we're being hunted. Yeah, I think so too. Okay, so we should avoid them. Yeah. But the settlement is really the only thing we see. Should we try and head there before they get back?
Starting point is 00:56:02 Yeah, but maybe we can stealth there. I like that plan. Yeah, cool. They probably want more of my blood. Yeah, but maybe we can stealth there. I like that plan. Yeah, cool. They're probably want more of my blood. Yeah, they're obsessed with you. Yeah, I agree. Feels a little good. Yeah, you're getting some attention.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Feels good to be wanted, you know. Shadow, I cleaned up in the face, you're cleaning up and shadowed out. Can I inspect Galad's head real quick to do anything weird's happening to it down here? Yeah, hard hard one you Pat at your waist Glad's head's gone. What?
Starting point is 00:56:32 Okay, I almost built tea everybody everybody needs to fucking relax, but I lost something real important to me Do you lose your keys? No, we're talking about Gem again. All my really, really private things fall out of my pocket. My full block, my Gem of Portrait. Hahaha. Okay, yeah, Galazette's gone. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:56 That can't be. Don't know you didn't put it in the back. Should we cast Locate Objects? You gotta keep an eye on your own stuff, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I died it to my waist. It's never, ever left my side. Should we cast Locate Object on it? Maybe that head is where Galatas.
Starting point is 00:57:10 It's only 1,000 feet, but radius. I mean, that would get us headed in the right direction unless it's outside of it. I will say that even this settlement that you guys see, so you guys look in all directions. You see mist in all directions. And then you see this settlement. This settlement looks to be about half a mile away.
Starting point is 00:57:29 So you're not super close to anything. Got it. So let's. We'll hold off. Yeah, but that's a good idea for when we get to this settlement. Maybe we try to find his head. Absolutely. You know what, it makes sense though,
Starting point is 00:57:41 because, well, collads got his own head here in Shadowfell. Here's a question, when the missed hard one was around, he also had a head, right? No, he didn't. You guys weren't like looking for Glad's head. You guys just notice now that it's not there. You guys don't know whether or not
Starting point is 00:58:01 so it seems like maybe when we're in this plane, he gets his head back or something. Yeah. God, my mom's town sucks. Yeah, no. It's a freaky spot. I hate visiting my mom now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ugh. So creepy. Yeah. Why do you have to move from my childhood? Oh, I guess it's my fault. The fog's nice in the morning, but like the fact that it hangs around, it's kind of annoying. So I guess, I guess let's try and sneak into the settlement.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Yeah, if these guys have torches, we should be able to avoid them. Yeah, presumably they don't have dark vision like we do. Sorry, Balnor. Hey, you know what? I'll just hang on to somebody's leg. Who said that? Just grab the thickest leg you can. Could be Muncha as a little hard one, you don't feel anybody touching your leg. All right, come on, Belnor. I fall into a deep, deep possession.
Starting point is 00:58:53 I thought I was sad before I came here. So are we hoppin' rooftops, are we? You definitely can't hop rooftops. It's like a mostly leveled... I think we're just we're stealthing. We're trying to stealth towards that. Okay cool. Sweet towards the city.
Starting point is 00:59:10 You guys start stealthing towards the city. Guys go ahead and give me stealth checks. And you guys have password that trace? Yeah. I got a net 20. Whoa. Okay sweet. 27.
Starting point is 00:59:20 19. 19. Okay. I'm gonna make you guys. That's how the trace is great. It will vary. Yeah, well technically I got a 30 no technically I got a 33 oh my god so much stealth but we forget where you are I'll never lost you Sweet my thick legs slip from his grasp
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Starting point is 01:00:44 code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code pop-up for a free yety style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. So you guys, everybody's got dark vision except except for Balnor, who is holding moonshine's hand, like a little boy being dragged along, like a rowdy, cranky young and, and you guys sneak through the fog, you begin sneaking towards where you saw this settlement to be. As you guys travel, you see a few of these torches start getting closer to you guys, just
Starting point is 01:01:29 by nature of them heading towards where you were coming from, and they're quite spread out. Take a wide berth? Yeah, maybe we can hide and watch them go by so we can see who they are. Are you guys spreading out or what are you guys doing? I think we're staying together. Yeah, we're staying together. Everybody's staying together.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Okay, cool. But there's torches coming towards us through the mists. Yes. We should be able to crutch down in the mists and avoid a toilet. Yes, certainly. There are houses here and things like that. Yeah, I think. Decrepit houses.
Starting point is 01:01:59 It looks like there was some old settlement that was conquered or destroyed before this city was built up, whatever it is. So maybe we go and like hang out by like the side of a house or some falling part building. I think we're ducking round corners. Got it. Okay, so you guys duck behind the corner of this like half destroyed building. There's just like this one singular wall up. You guys hide behind it. And after a while, you see a figure holding a lantern
Starting point is 01:02:31 up near his face. He's wearing a brown robe and just walking forward, the sort of kind of vacant stare in his eyes. Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. 11. 16. kind of vacant stare in his eyes. Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. 11. 16. 20. Not that.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Hard one. You look at this guy's face as he walks by. You catch his face in the glow of his lantern as he walks past you guys. And you see that this is a human. That's a man. There's never been a bad humans, we're probably fine. I love humans.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Yeah, they're great. Humans are cool. I'm suspicious. Obviously me too. Yeah. Should we track him? Should we throw Pebble at him? Why don't we grab his mouth and drag him
Starting point is 01:03:24 into a house and interrogate him? That's what we should do. Okay. Yep. Who's the stealthiest? I'll get the door mad out. Probably me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:32 If I got advantage. All right. I'll go into another rage. So try and get myself advantage on strength checks. Okay. And I want to grapple this guy back into a house stealthily. Oh, moonshine, don't forget your, your gagging bandage. My what? Oh, your gagging band, moonshine, don't forget your, your gagging bandage.
Starting point is 01:03:45 My what? Oh, your gagging bandage, sir. Yeah, yeah, I get my gagging bandage. Got it, okay. You used to using this on bully walks, but okay. I was so, got some stink on it. Okay, so you're gonna sneak up to this guy? Yeah, I wanna sneak up and then I wanna grapple
Starting point is 01:03:58 him back into a house. Okay, go ahead and give me a new stealth checks. 19. So you wait for a moment of opportunity as he passes a ruined house that still has its roof So I'm telling you what you do I Run up gram by the face gram by the mouth. So I said a stifle his shouting and a drag window the house Okay Moon shine you Grab this guy's mouth a stifle has shouted and a drag went to the house. Okay. Moonshine, you grab this guy's mouth.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Go ahead and give me a grapple check. That's gonna be strength, right? So I get advantage on that, because I'm barbarian. That's correct. 21. 21. Okay, you successfully put your hand over this dude's mouth and you are overpowering him and you hear him go Baby, it's okay. It's all gonna be okay. I'm taking you away from this helpless
Starting point is 01:04:56 And what are you doing? I'm telling him I'm an angel I'm not paying the save them and I'm dragging him into the house. Okay, I'm an angel. I came to save you submit submit Go ahead and give me a precision check. Are we into the house. Okay. I'm an angel, I came to save you, submit, submit. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Are we in the house? Yeah, where are you guys? Are we in the house with her? We're in the house, right? Yeah, we got the house ready for her.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Okay, so you guys are waiting in this house. I just see. Nine persuasion. Nine persuasion? If he doesn't submit, I'll just muscle him. You see, even with this very low persuasion check, you're a little like frazzled. This has been a freaky situation.
Starting point is 01:05:31 You tell this guy that you're an angel, but your voice shakes a little bit, but you see this guy kind of calms down. I minor illusion. Because it wasn't a lie. Ha ha ha ha. I minor illusion a halo on her head. Right. Ha ha ha. That's right. I'm a real stereoty halo on her head.
Starting point is 01:05:45 That's right, I'm a real stereotypical angel, not one of them birds you might have seen. Do you still have your hand on his mouth? Yeah. And then are we in the house yet? I'm dragging him back into the house. As you start to drag him back into the house, you get grabbed. You guys see, guys, go ahead and give me a perception check. Can I spore's on the hand that grabbed me?
Starting point is 01:06:08 No, you can. Seven. Okay, 15. All right. You guys are all waiting in this house. You see, moonshine is stalking the student with a lantern, gets up behind him, puts her hand over his mouth, begins pulling him back
Starting point is 01:06:25 as she goes to shove him into the house. You see a dark figure puts his hand over moonshine's mouth and pulls her back. Okay, we jump out and I'm going to try to grab that guy, put my hand around, that guy's there. You guys hang on to the dream. You all charge out of the house trying to find moonshine. You see this dude with the lantern is just holding it, staring there with a vacant look on his face.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Where'd she go? Where'd he take her? Where'd they take her? What? Who? The person that was grabbing you. The angel? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Yes, the angel. The beautiful angel. Oh, the angel? Yeah, yes the angel the beautiful angel all the angel was here But then she went away. Oh which way did she go she came to save your dumb ass Carp direction dummy came to save me. We're going to the hall what hall for what reason we Stairs a lot there and the ball said we need to go there. We need to find who's there. We should go there. You're right. What boss? We should go. I forgot the boss's name. I'm so simple too. Just like you Well, there's the boss and then there's the boss's boss to bosses everybody's got a boss and everybody's boss got a boss Ain't got the way. Oh, it's raw. Oh, it's raw You see he's got like super patchy hair like you try to like cut his own hair and really fucked up
Starting point is 01:07:46 I'm just this vacant look. Do I see footprints? You do not see footprints Your guys perception checks were not good enough to see moonshine get dragged off into the mist moonshine you've been yanked back by this dude He got the jump on you. He got a better stealth role than you, but I will do a, and oppose that lettics check to see if he can like put a knife to your throat, or if you can push him away. Hell yeah, I'm still in a rage, so.
Starting point is 01:08:12 Sweet, matter than ever. I got a 19. 19, okay, moonshine, you do beat him in the grapple check. So he, moonshine, you feel him grab you and drag you behind the house. And as he goes to like pull you down, you judo throw him over you. Yeah. And you see this man with long brown hair,
Starting point is 01:08:40 and he's got to go T, and he's got his hair pulled back in a ponytail. He wears a black duster over a black tunic and tights, and he's got a rapier drawn, like ready to fight you, and he's got a raven on his shoulder, and he goes, We don't usually get visitors in Grimhawk. I like your bird. You like coal? Yeah. He's a beautiful shade of black.
Starting point is 01:09:13 You know, coming down here, you come to appreciate how many shades of black there are. Lickrish, lead, coal. Um, Moonshine, um, after your brief scuffle and your interaction with this guy, you begin to hear hard one and beverly shouting at this guy with the lantern. Well, which way dumbass? I was just a mid-jeet in Einjil, so she probably flew away. You put your finger out of your nose while we're talking to you.
Starting point is 01:09:40 But, it wasn't even the right nostril. You have a huge booger in your left nostril. Just let me bend down. Bend down. huge booker in your left nostril. Just let me bend down. Bend down, okay. Cover one nostril and blow. Okay, draw another one. Another one.
Starting point is 01:09:51 That's your fun hole. He's just not rocketing onto his own upper lip. Why did you pull me away from that simple folk? We're a team. Me and you? Sure. No, you and I are not a team. Why not? Me and the simple Sure. No, you and I are not a team. Why not?
Starting point is 01:10:05 Me and the simple folk. We let them walk out. We draw out folk like you, visitors, and folk like me sneak up on those visitors. And what are you going to do now that you sneak up on me? Well, I got to take you to the count. The count? The count. Leader of Grimmhawk. Well, I gotta take you to the count The count the count leader Graham Hawk All right, I go symbiotic and see and I guess I got to fight this guy. Okay, um, I go ahead and roll initiative So you see yeah, oh boy
Starting point is 01:10:37 Mochai, but I think I'm gonna keep trying to like grapple him Hmm, like I want to grapple him and bring him back to hard one and Beverly Okay, I'm not trying to like knock him and bring him back to hard one and Beverly. I'm not trying to knock him out. Cool. I want to just physically best him. We should be able to find him, right? Sure.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Yeah. Munchine. Okay, so you do something out of the can today. I'll say that you're surprised around. He sees you turn into a monster and he goes, well, I'm not used to seeing living folks do that. Go ahead and roll initiative. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:06 I think he's convinced we're good. 14. Okay, Mojang, you see this guy is going to go first. He's got his rapier drawn and he goes, all right, well, that's how it's gonna be. You see his teeth turn into fangs and he launches forward and he tries to bite your neck 19 to hit that does hit okay
Starting point is 01:11:31 Moonshine you are bitten by this guy 17 damage and then I need you to make a charisma saving throw and You guys to be charmed yes Yes. Oh, damn it. And I have advantage. Yes. Well done. Resist those glamors. 20.
Starting point is 01:11:51 20. Okay. You see this guy bites into your neck, and he leans back and he goes, Pretty good, huh? Actually, I've had better. He tries to stab you with his right here, impossible. That one misses super flustered. Does hit with the third attack.
Starting point is 01:12:13 Three attacks? Yeah, he does. But I'm not. 11 damage. You guys now hear the clash of steel. As Moon Shine is going toe to toe with this guy. That's our sign. I just want him to know that I look at him
Starting point is 01:12:25 and I say, you've only scratched the surface of my temporary hit points. Moonshine, go ahead, dig your attack. Oh, shout out to the two crew, but I do spores him for 12. Okay, thank you. And then, oh, fuck, I meant to grapple him. Okay, that is the end of Moonshine's turn.
Starting point is 01:12:42 Bevin' Hard One, if you guys would like to run over to where you heard the noise is coming from, where you hear Moon Shine yelling from, you guys may take dash actions to get to her. Yes, that's what we do. I wanna, I wanna snuff out the guy's candle before we do that. Oh, smart.
Starting point is 01:12:58 I'm gonna pull the hood over his eyes and spin him around three times and push him in a random direction. Do you wanna do a dash action or do you wanna do something to this guy? I wanna leave. I wanna do an action and then I wanna a random direction. Do you want to do a dash action or do you want to do something to this guy? I want to leave. I want to do an action and then I want to activate my boots. Okay, great.
Starting point is 01:13:09 So you're both, you're able to snuff out the guy's flame and then you guys both start running towards moonshine, you guys will be there next turn. Do my boots not, let me get there faster? No. Not enough to do an attack. Cool. That is back up to this guy's turn, this vampire guy.
Starting point is 01:13:30 It's going to make another bite on moonshine. Misses with the bite, tries to bite at you. You lift up Rosalene. You just bites at the metal. Yeah. It takes two rapier attacks, shout out to the two crew on the first attack. Yes!
Starting point is 01:13:46 Hits on the third attack for seven damage. Ain't nothing. That is Moon Shines turn. Okay, I just want to grapple him. Okay, go ahead. I want to best him physically to restrain him. Okay, go ahead and make an athletic check against them. Okay, I got a
Starting point is 01:14:10 18. Okay cool. Um, you Win you have him grappled great. I mean, I will spores him for 12 long down here. Okay, he spores him for 12 You spit up in his face. I want to just keep holding them back until hardwann and Carl Wilgate here. I mean, hardwann, why did you just say, go, who the hell is called with? Wow, what a cruel name. Hardwann and Fabrily get here.
Starting point is 01:14:34 If I ever have a son, I should leave him there. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Um, we need you. But I do want to keep sports in though, so we should play it out. OK, so you spores him That sports for 24 that is hard ones turn hard one you show up And you see moon shine going toe-to-toe with this dude. She's holding him. He's got his fangs out
Starting point is 01:14:56 He's trying to I think I'm doing that thing where like I'm straddling him and I'm holding his form so that he can't attack me Grappled he can still attack his speed is just zero. Oh, I wanted to restrain him. Is that not an option? That is not a thing. All right. Um, I guess can I put my boot on his head to try to keep him from biting Moonshan? So you're gonna use your action to like put your boot on this guy's head? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:22 Um, and I guess I'm gonna talk to him too. Like, hey, what's going on here? You came to our town, I should ask you the same question. Hey, we'll chat. She turned into a monster, started attacking me, man. You're sort of a monster too, am I? Well, I see you have a bird. I also have a bird.
Starting point is 01:15:42 And you'll be the same. What's your bird's name. Kaka. He's on a very, very valiant mission. Very good. Yes. Are you sure you don't want to just relax and talk for a little bit? I'm a heavy to relax and talk.
Starting point is 01:15:56 I want to relax and talk in the first place. You all came up, tried to put your hand over my friend's mouth back there. You just hear a guy going, I can't see the dark. Yeah. He's fine, honestly. It's probably for the best. We've been craving clever conversation.
Starting point is 01:16:11 We're new in town. My mom lives here. Am I here? Who's right right now? Did I run up as well? Yeah, you guys ran up. Yeah. Who's the count?
Starting point is 01:16:20 And why are you trying to? Here's the thing. You, the way that you said, I'm taking you to the count, made it seem like it was not a conversation but rather a monologue. We're not going to be captured. Is the counts like a restaurant and you're going to take us there like on the house? Oh okay I can get down with that. I haven't tried the Shadow fell cuisine. Yeah. Yeah so I'm taking
Starting point is 01:16:40 you to a restaurant. Okay I I go willingly. Okay, great. Yeah, are we going to go this person? No, I think I want to get some answers from. Yeah, we got that, okay. Who is the count? You got three people on you. The count Ambrose Montgomery. Oh, you have just a Dracula? A Dracula, what?
Starting point is 01:17:00 A Dracula? I don't use that word. Okay, the thing with the things that you are, what do you mean I'm a vampire? You guys know. Yeah, you're a suck man. What suck man? You see he turns into a mist and oh.
Starting point is 01:17:17 You shouldn't have called him a suck man. You know, hey, little water droplets. Just letting you know, I would meet the count at first when you said that, I thought you meant someone else, so, but I'm down to meet the count. I'll let you have a little of my tasty boy blood if you come back. I'm down for the count, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:17:36 Hello, water droplets. Is the bird gone too? Um, bird has flew off when he became a mist. Is the mist still there or is it like totally?, it's like he's up in the fog. He's a vampire who turns to a mist in the fog. Should we go and find that other guy? Yeah, maybe stupid guy brings us to the boss? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Or the could just go to the settlement. I guess that's also true, but we don't know. Is that the settlement? Maybe, but where did he say he was from? I can't see in the door. All right, well I feel bad about this guy. Yeah, let's go. Where am I? Is it just I'm gonna teach him how to read as well?
Starting point is 01:18:13 Is it just me or did that guy seem like a gothic old cob? Yeah, he was kind of kind of into it rocking that goat's teeth. That's why I instinctually liked him and I wanted to be on the same side as him. All right. All right. I loved his bird, frankly. Yeah, exactly. The name was Cole.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Very cool. Very cool name. Not as clever as Cole, but. I don't know where I are. All right, we're coming. I let it. I'm X-T. I let his torch.
Starting point is 01:18:40 I let his torch. I just bring him over here. He let his torch away from the... Oh, hey. What? Who are you? We literally just met. Hi, my name is Moonshan.
Starting point is 01:18:50 I am visiting Shadowfell on Junior Brother. Where? What? I'm doing Junior Year Brought in Shadowfell. What? I'm looking for... I'm with Grimhawk. I work for Langston.
Starting point is 01:19:03 Great. Great. Ambrose. What?, I work for Langston. Great. Great. What? No. No. Langston. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:19:11 But Ambrose, you see he thinks super, super hard. Ambrose is the ball, ball, gotcha. Can you take us to your balls? I'm dying to get a job while I'm here in my junior year, I don your boss? I'm done and get a job. Well, I'm here in my junior year abroad. I don't know why I'm keeping up this charade. It's clearly falling on deaf people. What?
Starting point is 01:19:31 Can I try something? Yeah. I minor illusion, my teeth will look like vampire teeth. I'll say like, I have business with your master. Operation business boy. Yeah, okay. We go to find the other lanterns. We gotta see the other lots in the fog
Starting point is 01:19:49 and we walk to them and they do this word of go. I don't like it. I don't like it. Yeah, let's just, let's shortcut. Hey, we're going on our own little shortcut. What? You're coming with us. Okay.
Starting point is 01:20:02 The boss asked you to. Oh, maybe we'll get you a promotion, big guy. Yeah, and then you can be peers with your boss. Be what, we'll get you a duster in a bird. I don't wanna look at my boss. What about only one boss? Wouldn't it be nice to have one boss? He thinks about it for an extremely long time.
Starting point is 01:20:21 You got two bosses, what if I had one? Yeah, we're gonna, you know, we're gonna make you the CEO of this vampire. What? Come with me. But also lead the way. You see he starts walking back from when she came. Are you just, are you guys just like walking with him? Oh, wrong way. We need to take a back route. A behind route. Oh, what? But this is where we go. A secret route. There's no secret.
Starting point is 01:20:50 Unraveled route. Okay, I'll tell you a secret. Okay, yeah, I'm here for that. Uh-huh. When I was a kid. Yes. I went to the castle and I saw it.
Starting point is 01:21:05 What'd you say? There were chairs there, tables. This sounds more like a story. Yeah. Bad story than a secret. Oh, what? Forget it. Forget it, man.
Starting point is 01:21:17 Let's just, you know what? All right. You know what, why don't you go rejoin your friends? I don't know, though. You have much to, okay. Hard one starts crying because you feel so bad for his mother. Oh hard one are you ever so slightly concerned that we'll find your mother in this state. Oh no
Starting point is 01:21:33 she lives among these people. Do you know do you have any portraits of I know you got Gemma in your pocket. What about your mom. Oh yeah I do have the one I have the one that wanted you know this woman? I show the wanted poster. Holds up the lantern way too close to it and the one that puts the ring into catch. Okay.
Starting point is 01:21:52 Oh, all right, no, no. All right, here's what I do. I spin this guy around three times and we walk away. Yeah, thanks so. Oh, I'm gonna, you'll figure it out. You just hear spider scaring. Can you even die in Shadowfell if you are in Condom De Shadowfell?
Starting point is 01:22:10 You're sticking around long enough to find out. Yeah, you can die, what are you doing? Oh, that's the most lucid thing you said all day. Finally, you're all gonna give us some information. Yeah, you can die. What do you mean? Yeah, you get born, you get dead, my friend. Well, go do that then. Get dead, you can get born you get dead. Well go go do that then get dead. Yeah, maybe we'll see
Starting point is 01:22:30 Go drink some cough syrup. What? Go drink too much coffee. I can't Because taste bad Try harder. Makes me feel stupid. You hurt just a bouquet of pity. You're what? You're a flower.
Starting point is 01:22:51 You're the flower, man. I agree. I think you did. Yeah, you're a flower. Thank you so much. I think so. You're a flower, dude. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:23:01 You are, man. Thank you. You are. So are you. I want you to live. Thanks I'm dizzy as hell man. I'm just gonna walk towards There was a house and an angel came to me so I'm gonna go us lanes You see this dude walks off drops it's lantern. Oh no a fire because the spread Oh, oh, fuck. Oh damn. This is like a high sense of uncertainty principle.
Starting point is 01:23:32 We can't interfere. If he doesn't know that fire is hot, then that's all. It's hot. If you're trying to pick up the lantern, oh, fuck, oh, damn it. Oh, fuck. What is he gonna? Is it? Where is he gonna, where is he gonna go if he dies in Shadow fell? He's gonna, how fuck, how damn it? Is there like a dumb heaven? Cause we'll probably go there.
Starting point is 01:23:54 We'll really go to a dumb hell. I think he's too stupid to go to hell. Yeah, right? I don't think Akira would have won him. Yeah. So I think we don't have to worry. All right, let's stealth over to that settlement. Okay. Okay. Um, so, uh, this building means to catch fire is very, very dumb, dude, um, is
Starting point is 01:24:14 just standing there making noise, trying to pick up his lantern. You guys begin making your way towards the settlement where you saw the settlement to be. We're still doing. We're also rolling all the perception checks trying to sus out any mischief. Cool. I'll say go ahead and make a perception check. 19. 11. 16. Bev. You get the sense as you guys are going along that one of these mists feels a little unnatural. Like you go through it and you get your evil sense tingles a little bit more so than just the regular old evil mist that is everywhere.
Starting point is 01:24:58 I take off my amulet and spin it up my head on its chain. You hear in the fog the voice of this guy, Langston, who you guys fought before, and goes, well, well, we had a four on one fight before, but now the numbers have even a little bit, huh? I forget about Balnor, and I say, Papa, he's talking about you. Oh, yeah, he's sitting with you a foe.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Balnor goes, I can't, who's saying that? Are you counting yourself as millions of individual droplets of mist? Because yes, that's very unfair. Boop bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow your bird. Yeah, you're pulling off that goatee, which is hard to do. You see Langston does appear in the fog. You see Flanking him is a man and a woman, both slender, long, black hair, wearing all black. And you guys do see, yeah, they're all pretty sexy except Langston is, you know, maybe if he cut his goatee and cut his hair, don't have some new clothes, would it be attractive, maybe? I like Langston's vibe, but not in like an attraction. Right, yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:10 How, on a scale of one to Steven Segal, where I'm not Steven Segal at all. Okay, hot topic sword guy. Gotcha. Is where we're at. So I guess we do introductions? Yeah, hi new friends. Hi, where are y'all from? The mortal plane. I bet you get
Starting point is 01:26:27 that a lot. Material plane, interesting. Yep, the land of the living and whatnot. We're just searching for a friend who's here. Yeah, maybe you've seen this lady. I blow the dirty, the dirty, the, the ash paper off. You wanted to sign. Ha ha ha. Uh, you show the, um, wanted sign of the widow and you see he looks at it and he goes, she ain't here, she ain't Grimhawk. I don't know that much. What is in Grimhawk? You got, uh, Count Ambrose, who looks over the city. Mm hmm.
Starting point is 01:27:02 You got Taverns. You got people Pizzons working day-to-day jobs just trying to get by we're just good simple folks And are you all vampires or is that that's just Langston? They're like a ruling class of vampires and the Upper class I would classify as vampires. You said you're from the material plane. Yeah, I say it like that material plane You see that start all licking their lips. Okay, I like my lips, too. Yeah, yeah, we get material plane We get humans around here, but they're more like that guy than y' you see, he points to where this fire has taken this decrepit house. Ow, fuck, ow, fuck.
Starting point is 01:27:49 Can I do a memory check or something to see if I had noticed, like if there were bites on that dumb guy's neck? You would have had to do perception checks on him. He was wearing a robe. Okay. So they dumb like that. Naturally, or if you glamoredored them or what's going on. Mee's a shell. We sucked him dry unfortunately.
Starting point is 01:28:10 Okay. I see. So the goal is to kind of do that to us, would you say? Well, you know, it's not up to me. I ain't the boss, but uh, far as the boss knows. There's only one or two of you out here, right? You see he turns to Cole the Raven and he goes, why don't you go back and tell Count Ambrose
Starting point is 01:28:33 that we got two mortals out here that we'll be bringing back for him. And you see Cole flies off. Wow. You know, if there is one thing I hate more than getting my blood sucked, it is a deceitful employee. I'll tell you what, you know what, you gotta take yours where you can. When you suck this blood, it's gonna be freaking boiled
Starting point is 01:28:57 because I am steamed, everybody in front of initiative. Oh! 19, nine. 17, I wanna point out that I am still in fungal form, Woo! 19. Mm, nine. 17. I wanna point out that I am still in fungal form, but no longer in a rage, because fungal form lasts for like an hour, rage only lasts for like a minute, I think.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Ah, I'm low on day. Yeah, I think I'm going to heal you. Langston is first. You see Langston charges forward, saw that moonshine was not particularly into his charms. C's beverly glowing with radiant energy, looks at you hard and goes, sorry, but you drew the short straw and it's going to swing his rapier at you. Misses on the first attack, hits on the second attack for seven damage,
Starting point is 01:29:45 and then is going to try to bite you. That is a 26 to hit, hard one, go ahead and give me a charisma saving throw. Ooh, you know what? Maybe I'll use a luck point to see if he'll miss me. Oh, okay, let me roll again. That is a 21 to hit. And that one also, huh?
Starting point is 01:30:06 Ah, lucky me. Yeah. So you take, He's wasmissating through. So you take 10 damage and then you need to do a charisma saving throw. Okay, 25. Or 20.
Starting point is 01:30:19 25. Yeah. No effect, I knew he bites you and then he leaves back. Uh huh. Bro, what do you think? You still thinking about it. Oh, I hated that. Oh, yeah That is better. Okay. I'm going to cast protection from evil and good on hard one. Okay cool. Cool. All right so a Silver or a surrounds you and yes, it is you know what it is
Starting point is 01:30:44 It's like Spirit Guardians, but it's just four silver versions of me. Dancing around you. And what does that mean? All right, so for protection from evil and good, protection grants several benefits. Creatures of those types have disadvantage on attack rolls against the target.
Starting point is 01:30:59 Target also can't be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. Okay, so. Yeah, baby. Sweet, so you're picking vampires obviously. Yeah. Wait, how did you know we were vampires? It's super obvious.
Starting point is 01:31:10 Yeah, you at one point self-identified us vampire, how old you're Dracula and you. Moonshot, that's your drink. Okay, I'm going to run over. I'm gonna do a fourth level cure wounds on hard one. Nice. And that hard one. Nice. And, God, that feels good. Then, it feels better than the shower.
Starting point is 01:31:29 Ha, ha, ha. 24? 24 hit points and then I'm gonna Hock a big fat, Lugie at, what's his name? Langston. At Langston. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:31:41 For 12 points of damage. Y'all aren't, as taken by my charms. I'd like you to be That is the other two vampires the goth kids as they were they are going to launch forward and go after Beverly to rich for your blood to rich for my blood. Too rich for my blood? You can't afford it. Good people taste better. You look like a good little guy. You look like a good guy.
Starting point is 01:32:11 You've already got a lot of explaining to do to Irland. Ah! First one, first one makes a bite attack. That's an 18-a-hit misses. Misses. And it is going to use an ability called mind-siphon. I need you to do an intelligence saving throw. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:32:29 That's got wisdom, but no intelligence. Um, but I get to add plus four to that, so it's going to be 18. 18. You're fine. You are unaffected by it. Other one tries to bite you and hits. Um, that is going to be 15 damage. Okay.
Starting point is 01:32:49 And then it is going to try to do the mind-siphon again. I'll go ahead and do an intelligence saving throw. I'm gonna reroll that one. Cause I'm a lucky boy. I'm a lucky boy. I'll do a blue lucky. Good luck. Good luck. Yep. I'm a lucky boy. I'm a lucky boy. I arguably lucky blood. Yeah
Starting point is 01:33:12 Hmm 14 14 just does it Bev you save you are not affected By this mind suck you got to make up your mind you going for brain or you're going for blood Yeah, good call. We're gonna be going for brain. He's going for blood. Oh, yeah Well, we enjoy you know like you might enjoy like mashed potatoes and some meat, or you might enjoy like some meat and vegetables or something. Right. Different courses, you know, different dates. Yeah, you're all, you're all, you're all, you're all freaky deakis. Okay. I got it.
Starting point is 01:33:36 Hard one is your turn. Um, okay. Yeah. So, when next time you do that, you're just going to want to nibble at like a little bit harder. It felt like, yeah, right? It felt like a, like a fish just sort of like annoying me. Like your lips are cold. So if you try it again, just that's kind of the vibe. Run on, run on.
Starting point is 01:33:52 Anyway, I'm gonna hit you with my hammer. Uh-huh. Oh, so that is 22 to hit. Okay. Hits. 13 damage. Okay. The roll, my second attack
Starting point is 01:34:06 not 20 nice yeah great 25 25 damage geez this dude he's looking pretty screwed up he's more of a dexterous fighter than a real hearty person doesn't like getting hit by a hammer yeah that. No, that's not true. That's how you buy something. I don't enjoy that at all. Okay. And I'm gonna use my, I'm gonna action surge and talk to my queen's hammer and call my dwarf daddy.
Starting point is 01:34:34 Okay. Finally. Not a party. Hot talk. Oh, the title was lost. Oh cool. We're in lost, lost city of shit. I've learned.
Starting point is 01:34:44 I try to drag up some of the title of ways. Wow. Hey, but at least us A spirit bevs are here to dance with you. What's up? Babe get out you walk me down. Yeah, give me that beer left. I do I I pass the beer around Yeah, hell yeah, I'll have some beer. All right. All right. Fuck this guy. What's this deal? What's his go-to-tee? Trying to bite everybody. Shave your fucking face, man. It's grow a beard or don't, man. It's hideous. Yeah. I kinda like it. I feel like-
Starting point is 01:35:10 Maybe I could grow it. Would you think that would work on me? I'm trying to grow in some facial hair. I'm very into you experimenting with facial hair. Yeah. Alright. Currently growing it out. That's Balnor's turn, Balnor.
Starting point is 01:35:20 You should put a little like white streak in your go-toe. Balnor crits, Balnor's turn. You can put a little like white streak in your goatee. Balnor crits on Langston once. He's going to do 19 damage. Langston's looking pretty messed up. That is back around to him though. He is going to take an opportunity attack from hard one. I guess he has to, OK, on his turn, he's going to do a saving throw to not take the spirit daddy
Starting point is 01:35:44 damage. Go ahead and do your 3D8's. 19. 19 damage. Okay. He looks quite fucked up. You see, he turns to run away from you and go towards Bev to take a swing at Bev. The spirit daddy's just like, each, there's three of them,
Starting point is 01:36:04 each one of them clocking with the spectral hammer You see radiant light like bursting from him and he goes all right. Well fuck this and you turn to doing missed And you see his Oh fly off we got to get some sort of like mistrap I'm like I feel like as a druid I should be able to do something that I could like turn him into ice or something like that. Yeah, or if we just have like a big tarp. Yeah. That's better, Stern.
Starting point is 01:36:29 Okay. I pull out my big tarp. I'm just gonna attack one of these vampires that is still on the ground, I guess. Sweet. Which ones nearest to me? Are they both kind of- There's two that we're going after you, yeah. Alright, cool.
Starting point is 01:36:40 Um, yeah. I will attack the dude, I guess. Great. Uh, 25 hits great I'm going to do my last second level divine smite. Okay, they don't seem to like that No, I'm fine with it. I don't care. Oh, yeah, I don't care. Yeah, what is that Lyson? No, he went away No, what's your name? My name? Bob Joe
Starting point is 01:37:04 Bob Joe no, that is a good name. Thank you No, he went what's your name my name Bobby Joe No, that's a good name. Thank you. Why do I like y'all so much and you still just want to fight me Bob Joe that's a proud name We thought same show no great line. Yeah, great line of Joe's sounds less colonial Your ancestors the mayor, okay, no, no, I get 48 okay great There's the mayor, okay, no, no, I get 48 okay great 37 geez you mess up Bobby Joe vampire. I will continue to mess him up. Why you got to do that man? You literally just bit me. Yeah, you came off of a town man. You took you started shit You put those big dental straws in my neck getting dumb guys start fires over there You tried to eat my brain you look over
Starting point is 01:37:45 You see the guy just being like oh fuck he definitely started getting a fire It's burned alive in the fire. Oh shit. He's done because of you. You're in a bad position Not me specifically just my actions and the things that I do and the people around me that do it My friend you have the extremely low ground in this argument. Yeah, man, I don't know. I didn't specifically suck from that guy, you know. Well, you do suck, I got a 17. That does hit. All right, I'd like to wear not a lot of armor
Starting point is 01:38:14 so that I look good. All right, I'm going to do first level smite. Okay. That's going to be 25 damage. Beverly finished this dude. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. So I, I slice his brain off.
Starting point is 01:38:33 I slice the top of his head off, can I grab his brain and shove in his mouth? Okay. Ha, ha. You make him eat his own brain. For a second, he is still alive in a very confusing situation. How's it going? He's a taste. You see he turns still alive in a very confusing situation.
Starting point is 01:38:45 That's a waste. You see he turns into a mist after you kill him. Oh, well, dang. Is he not dead? I don't know. That's moonshine starting. I wouldn't need to turn into a mist. Alright, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:38:57 I just said everyone, we should just try to get her in the back or something. Yeah, yeah. I think about to get her from turning into a mist. Oh, I have an idea. And then I just attack. Okay. That day, 19 hit. 19 does hit. And then I just attacked. Okay. And then 19 hit.
Starting point is 01:39:06 19 does hit. Yeah, baby. 24. Yeah. And I spores her for 12 more. She's cruised her right up. She's already very, very hurt. I want you to gotta do that.
Starting point is 01:39:16 Because I'm trying to be friends. We all ain't showing me a lot of damage. Give me your damn brain juice. And I'm giving you your brain juice. You're playing and you can't even put down the welcome mat. Give me your brain juice. You're cute. You're playing and you can't even put out the welcome mat. You're brain juice. You're immortal. The reason mortal succeeds is so they can get their blood sucked
Starting point is 01:39:32 and turn into shells and turn into that guy. If you come to my place, you got decorative soaps for the whole thing. Do you eat animals? Do you eat animals? Yeah. Yeah? You're an animal to me.
Starting point is 01:39:42 She goes and tries to bite your head. Thank you. I'm an animal. Go ahead and make an intelligence saving throw Nat 20 baby. Yeah, can I shove her in the bag? No, you can't But I'll say you have such a thick skull that she fully can't get to your brain I don't know what is going on here. She tries to bite your neck I don't know what is going on here. She tries to bite your neck on she misses. That is hard one to turn. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:40:08 I'm gonna come at her with my dwarven posse. Do I also have four spectral bebs around you right now too? Yeah. Wow. So I am rolling deep. This is a party. Yeah, we really do need a hot tub. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:21 Excuse me, excuse me everybody. Sorry, I'm trying to hit her with the hammer. Here we go, here we go, here we go. What a strut from that. 19. 19 hits. 19 damage. 19 damage, hard one, finish her.
Starting point is 01:40:40 Hard one, can I give you an assist? Yeah. Take it if you want it. I imbue Elix's whip with holy light and toss it to you if you want a restrainer. Sweet. I watch the whip go over my head and get caught by a ghost spectral Beverly. And I'm not at that bed. Spectro Bev whips her, she explodes into a mist.
Starting point is 01:41:05 Oh, you were supposed to like use that to wrap her up. Okay. Oh, I see. You know, you guys know, and probably, guys, go ahead and give me like history checks. 18. Oh boy. History.
Starting point is 01:41:18 I like moonshines 18. I got it 23. Cool. I was like 16. Bev, I'll say you were probably red stories like this when you were a kid and you were like super into monsters. You know that vampires kind of can't truly be killed
Starting point is 01:41:31 unless you killed them like in their resting place. Like they fly back as mists, sleep in their coffin, and then you gotta, you gotta off them. Is there any way to truly kill them when I know that? If you find their resting place and stab them in their coffin. Can I do like some kind of like I got an 18 I'm sorry a 16 on my history check Because I'm viewing pop-up with daylight seem to draw them out and I to believe that they do not have a sensitivity to Sun oh they might have a sensitivity to sun. Oh, they might have a sensitivity to sunlight,
Starting point is 01:42:07 but if you're just like out in a fog, shining a bright light, there might just be vampires like surrounding you, you know, like on the periphery. Right, they saw the light came towards it, but it wasn't, we weren't in the light. They weren't like, they weren't loving the light. Okay. And they use those dumbasses to draw us out into the light. They weren't like love, they weren't love in the light. Okay. They actually, and they use, they use those dumbasses
Starting point is 01:42:26 to draw us out into the darkness. Tortures towards us, we sneak out and then they're there to collect it. So maybe they do hate the light. Okay. Guys, everybody go ahead and roll me just a pure luck check. 13.
Starting point is 01:42:40 11. 6. Okay, as you guys are looking around, trying to figure out what is going on with these vampires, how you can truly kill them, how you can face this threat, Beverly, a split second too late. You see one of these lesser vampires, one of these more animalistic ones has snuck up and Charges to pounce on you gets up you can feel its breath on your neck about to bite into you and Suddenly its head is blown off by a bullet So we're dang must have been right where the bullet come from I trace the trajectory and that's where we'll end our session
Starting point is 01:43:28 So it tells me it wasn't Belnor Yeah, I'm right. Oh, I don't see who said that yeah A cliffhanger again, oh baby. That's what the guy's name is cliffhanger. That's good That is a really cool name. Hey, I'm Clif Hanger. Clif Hanger. I've got a lot of questions for the short rest. This is just gonna be a freaking quiz for my daddy. Plus fast.
Starting point is 01:43:54 Oh man, a new realm, new rules. I love it. Yeah, guys, go on over to patreon.com slash nad pod. There's NADD, POD, to listen to the short rest. I'm ready to sing. I'm ready to sing. I'm ready to sing. I'm ready to sing. Guys, we got some things to plug.
Starting point is 01:44:07 Watch hot date on Netflix, me and Emily Sketch show. What's sexy? We're current. We're about to start filming season two. And yes, we are slipping in some NAD pod references. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Mallorra is good.
Starting point is 01:44:18 I'm in the back of every frame. That's true. Call those just looking directly in a camera in the background of every song. Hill House style. It's only getting paid as an extra. It's going to be a huge time commitment. It's insane.
Starting point is 01:44:34 Should they pay you? Yeah. I'm in the background just for exposure. Yeah. My agent said not to do it, so I fired him. Of course. You can also check out our book. It's called Hey You Up.
Starting point is 01:44:43 Head to Turner Booty Calling Termergency Contact. It's called Hey You Up, Head of Turner, Booty Calling, Term Emergency Contact. It's just a satirical relationship advice book by me and Emily. Get it on Amazon or on Audible. Call the one you got to plug. This week I would like to plug our fans. Ooh, that's sent us some fun stuff to the PO box. First up, we've got Jack W. aka Uthar Bearkiller
Starting point is 01:45:01 who sent us a drawing of moonshine as a cow named moonshine salbin. Nice puns about. It's very cute. Thank you so much Jack. Rebecca L aka 3.14 slices of pie on Instagram. Send us a nice note and a drawing of all the characters as well. Yeah. Also love it. Taylor and Megan sent us a save the date to their wedding. Ooh. Hell yeah. The date is saved itself. I, I RSVP as a baby. Gotta check the calendar. I'm scrolling through your Zola right now. I get something at the very choice. Hope you like dice. Debra W. AKA at Dooberry Panda. Also sent us a very nice note. A lot of complimentary notes,
Starting point is 01:45:45 just like heartfelt handwritten notes, which can't have enough of those. They're so good. They are damp with my tears. Oh, Alex S. from Wiver and Workshop sent us dice necklaces, earrings, and keychains, which we are all wearing. We are all currently wearing.
Starting point is 01:46:01 Last episode, we were all tanked up. Now we're all neckless up. We look like we've a good bodice. We're laced. We look like a real bad-ass gang from a 90's show. They're only get their asses kicked. That is wyvernworkshop.com if you wanna get some of your own gear. They also sell keychains, which I think is really cool.
Starting point is 01:46:20 It's really nice if you got like a spare key, you need to give someone and you need to let them know that you're a big dork, make it easily rob you because you're unearned then put it on that And then we also got some DVDs and a commemorative one-year anniversary ticket from Jeff S the Lord of the Fiora Lord of the sword I'm very excited. I believe we got Seventh son which is a movie I've never heard of and the Dungeons and Dragons movie Yeah Potential mixed bag fodder we shall see which is a movie I've never heard of, and the Dungeons & Dragons movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:45 Potential mixed bag fodder, we shall see. I potentially mean it. Definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely. And if you would like to send us stuff, you can do it at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Phillies, California, 90027, please and thank you. Oh yeah, Jake, what do you got to plug?
Starting point is 01:47:03 It's been a minute, beard oil. Yeah! BrothersCisterCo.com. Redisons. Oil, it's back. The oil is back. Ha ha ha. Throw them beards.
Starting point is 01:47:13 Let your skin shine. Nice. Nick Rib oil, the two things that I always look forward to. Ha ha ha. Sweet guys, thank you guys so much for listening. You follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME, at called these call the wall, at the expert isally, at J. Kerwitz's Jake. At NAD pod is NAD pod.
Starting point is 01:47:30 And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod, that's NADDPOD. The Newt of a Nation. I want to suck your blood. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Yeah, so kind. Starting with Brad D, the only Pepple Pot that is in Craven, recently celebrated Denny for performing the bravest feat he's ever done, sleeping with the lights off. I still struggle with it, you know, I'm with ya. J. Loma, 72 aka Steel Breaker.
Starting point is 01:48:14 Hardwan's Jim's Breation, featured in the Bohumi and Documentary, Generation Iron Deep. Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard, surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, also surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, also surrounded by a floating army of mosquitoes at all times, but Dylan is thinking of investing in some bug spray. Danny Peaboo, who was a resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf image, hard one requested that he be nude and touching fingers with God. Tom Peab, father of the realm, serenader of sleeping babies, and serenader of sleeping pop-aws.
Starting point is 01:48:44 That's right, Tom Peab helped out moonshine while she was depressed and gave pop-aws his nightly scramble scratches. Spencer cask-fru, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia, like once brutist out so thick. It put hard ones quads to shame. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldredd's knight and ex-owner of the batter's pint in and tavern. Decided to change the name after a feud with the Badger, but then got polymorphed into
Starting point is 01:49:12 a Badger so he's thinking of changing it back. Fate is a funny beast. Beard man, Dan! The longest beard in all of Bohumia! Dan's beard is so long it created a bridge across the sea to the frigid North. Oh no, the giants are invading! Scott D and Orc Dork, that's right baby, this giant green monster wears glasses. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:35 Hermes W, the Bat King, Batman, pledges Fieldi to Hermes W. Spartus, straight up, Boundor's Dad. A dad of dads, if you will. I will. Adam R, the R-rated assassin, recently committed a murder so ghastly, Adam just became the NC-17 assassin. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP, Cassandra has so much HP, Zelda and Joveer literally couldn't do enough damage to send them to Shadowfell. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Dan Yellow, so dastardly that she created the Shadowfell mist with her hot topic fog machine.
Starting point is 01:50:12 You see aka, Halder Frostback MVP of the Giant Wars, Critt and the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red, used to tie a rope around himself and jump over the edge of the ship as a goof careful howl door Daniel you aka multiple for the many faced magician one of those faces in trapments very own Catherine Zeta Jones Jordan DJ legendary DJ of the realm where's a big mouse head like dead mouse except Jordans as an actual mouse folks head problematic problematic indeed Jeffrey had problematic. Problematic indeed. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword and driver of a Ford. That's right, Jeff. Just got a sweet new pickup with four-wheel drive
Starting point is 01:50:52 and great mileage. Congrats, Jeff! Cutter W. A high-off dandy turned Crick Barcatect. Cutter does all their renovations with fires, so their business is responsible for many forest fires. John S. A. K. A. Schubbert, the mushroom Shubbert is competing against Toneth and Tinkul in the world's number one scoop boy competition. We're pulling for you Shub!
Starting point is 01:51:13 Ryan M. Hard one's Ram who did die but then made a pact with Osmodeus to come back as a revenant, a raminant if you will, and kill Hard one. Once again, I will. Elena C. a friendly Noah, who barely has any bloodlust at all, has only eaten like three people. So nice. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, officially took the sliders off the food menu and made a great meaty cocktail out of them. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:51:40 Andrew M. A free-style in Bard, give Andrew Andrew a beat and they will drop cutty level rhymes. Cush a bit, little bit. Victor T, Balnor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Now who will take them to the big, rapid, ween game? I think that's how you say ween. I don't know. Just deny the best, but who me and basketball player, mostly because no one else knows what that sport is or how to play it. Jacob C, a hell horse who just looked in the mirror and was like, what am I doing? Why am I so angry?
Starting point is 01:52:10 Elena M. A noble knoll. When the other knolls tried to kill the band's ram, Elena stood up for them and let them live. Mick Pox, the amazing code master who programmed our website, is also working on a digital D20 that never rolls a two. Earl and Kathleen Elle a succupous couple who gets late all the time and eats lots of souls in Smuggler's Bounty. Jive G holds the burger eating record at Dorgers Big Borgher Jive took down two.
Starting point is 01:52:39 Jive stretched the jock a stretch the only living creature of Bohemia who can box, jump, higher than hard one. Damn you are, Ram Daniels evil twin. Also their Symees twins, Daniel is a head coming out of Ram Daniels buttocks, crazy, right? Nicholas R. A.K. St. Crickless, unlike America's Santa, St. Crickless is in a polyamorous relationship with many miscloses.
Starting point is 01:53:04 Jennifer V has a V that's even more vicious than Cobb. Jennifer technically has a 9-pack because they are so ripped that their face counts as an app. Oh yeah. Destincy. An archer who fights by bungee jumping out of a goblin blimp. Very surprising that they are not dead yet. Devin B. the Bodega Lord.
Starting point is 01:53:22 Stay strong in a diet of ruffles and hostess cupcakes. Oh yeah. Michael L. Keychains. Keychain. That's right. Keychain has a tiny robot that Team 22 hasn't yet discovered. Hear that, Uncle? Sam H. Alonis is dealer. Alonis recently asked for some pretty crazy psychedelics and Sam H. is slow playing it because they want her to stay focused on the war. Sergio Salazar Salomon Sakurai is the Sikwangi, 7th of his name. A sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Also, just had their tongue forked and perhaps took this whole thing way too far. Traylee the cray-fay who is in my way, move Traylee you make a better door than a window.
Starting point is 01:54:04 Oh, this thing, what? Erin G, master of the banishment spell. If Erin gets a parking ticket, they make the cop that gave it to them, disappear. Woo! Dory S, a jacked wizard, thinking about shaving their giant wizard beard so everyone can see their super defined jawline.
Starting point is 01:54:21 Ooh, okay. Alucard, a reverse Dracula, where's a bib instead of a cape? Which on a Dracula is arguably more effective. Baby doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C section was recently sued for malpractice after leaving a few loose Cheerios and one of their patients during surgery. I'd forgive it if it was me if I was a patient. Sure.
Starting point is 01:54:40 Adam H. a shadow fell citizen who was afraid of the dark. Currently on a quest to find a sacred relic known as the Night Light. Colin G. Hardwan's lab partner at the doorfinage. They failed their Geomancy project after a hard one accidentally fused Colin into the wall. Ryan. Hardwan's Ram. Their ghost now serves as Gemma's mountain the afterlife, and escorts her to all the coolest clubs full of hot eligible spirit bachelors watch out! Big buck pregnant elk moonshines elk and baby also the only elk that knows how to
Starting point is 01:55:11 wild shape. Why? If you're ever in frost wind and see a naked elf eating oats off the ground don't worry that's just big buck living it up. I love it. Richard F. a gnome who drowned and was reincarnated as a German which in Bohumia is of course the name of a race of giant Merman, Guten Tag Richard! Uh, John W.G. Introduced the Crick-2 Crocs. Everyone there loves the squishy little slippers. They're perfect for crawdad hunting.
Starting point is 01:55:37 John McCee, a dwarf and whose foster parents almost chose hard one. Troy works in Asrias, a daddler analyst. They have three beautiful children and just bought a summer cabin in Hill home. Damn, you dodged a bullet in Hardwan. Cannibalist Kathulu, the Hannibal Lecter of the Elder Gods, basically Mads Mikkelsen, but with a mouthful of tentacles, so a hotter Mads Mikkelsen. Oh yeah. Sam Elve, locally sourced, sourcer. Sam only uses farm to table spell components
Starting point is 01:56:06 and honestly will not shut up about it. Dom Arra, a straight edge drunken master monk, will knock you out with a spinning roundhouse kick in between massive sips of their homemade black tea kombucha. Josh S the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald went on a blind date with hard Juan recently, but it got short when Josh spilled water on Juan's hard drive, and he nearly exploded. Blitzberry Dmitry, owner of Dorgers Big Borgor recently introduced the all-new Impossible Borgor, which is still made of meat.
Starting point is 01:56:36 It's just called Impossible because it's 5 times bigger than a normal human mouth. Caleb Storm, Cup Bear, and Courts, great haul. Also, Bear of of chords, chord. The ox chord specifically, that's right. Caleb is in charge of keeping the great hall jammin' and they just put on Hardwands party mix. Woo! Nicholas C has started every single movie ever made in Bahumia
Starting point is 01:56:57 currently starting in the sci-fi smash hit Ulf Guardians of the Galaxy. Matt Elle, the first farewell, halfling to try to eat a mayo nut. Their birthday is now a national holiday in Balnor's village. Mike H. Chosen Lieutenant who serves under Galad, they lead a crew of Goth Angels known as the Blackbirds. Kevin S. The sword dancer who choreographs every kill. If you see Kevin wearing spandex and setting up a boom box, run. Matthew E. A Trinny Valyan jam maker who
Starting point is 01:57:23 Nyak has sworn to defeat. Unfortunately for Niaq, Matthew tends to spill a lot and their layer is very sticky. Samuel B. A nomish rogue who attacks by pancing their victims, then stabbing them in the cheeks. A true, cold-blooded S. A.S.N. Till for G. author of the Hilt Children's Book, Ulfgargo's punch in the sequel, Ulfgargo's to therapy currently working on a companion series called Alonus Self Medicates in order to avoid confronting her emotions, it's a pop-up book. Guardian of Light, Zack H. Bohumius only Keyblade Wilder!
Starting point is 01:57:55 Zack opened the door to the darkness, but only because they needed a place to stash their treadmill. Mitch D. an Enlightened Drunken Master, what a genociname DAC Alpha, DAC can turn into mist at will, so honestly, they're not that impressed by vampires. Curtis S. a short skinny human who was Hardwan's bunkmate at the Dwarfnitch. Kindly let Hardwan have the top bunk,
Starting point is 01:58:14 so he'd have more privacy. Colton B. a mouse-froke paladin who fights in the name of the benevolent God, cheese. Jen's Christian T. the owner of jenslandel.com, much to the ch who runs the popular Crick blog. Huffede? Huffede? Okay, I get it. Tiavina Saragon!
Starting point is 01:58:41 An Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore blood oath, forgot what for good thing they got it to a tood on them As a tramp stamp real quick read the small of T. of T. of Venus back and tell them what they swore their blood oath for Aaron C. and Mist Monster he uses their powers of mimicry to make a popular sketch comedy show called Mist Connections Hannah F a journalist who's trying to show everyone that the free fairies aren't assholes are just disillusioned victims of a systemic and untreated sugar dependency. Bradley E. Of course drinking buddy who can't believe the boobs would ever taint something as sacred as a blessed healing gatorade. Diven T. A Crick L. Who nearly suffocated in the timeout bag then bought a double trunk
Starting point is 01:59:23 Crick side stump with the money pop-up algorithm in court. Montana Monarch, a butterfly whose favored plane is national parks and deals plus two damage whenever they are in one. L&D, Jens Lindell's choreographer has seen Jens nude more than anyone living or deceased. Carbureau Chapel Hill, FPV, the Baron of Chapel Hill whose honorable family the Tar Heels belongs at least thematically amongst the shorefoot and toegolds. Chad A, a chosen horse cop, that's right, an angel on a horse.
Starting point is 01:59:55 It's dope until they ticket you for J-walking. Reese NS, the only Bohomian who can make a decent couple romans, wears by this magic dust they discovered called salt. T.J. M owner provider of the fickle fiddle, a lively tavern where you can see a different fiddleer each night but never twice. RPKB and automaton who doesn't know who made them really wanted to meet the boobs and bottom with them over not having parents but unfortunately won the automaton stole the show. Taylor S. A. Gay Trash, the traveler, forgot their passport, but remembered there.
Starting point is 02:00:29 I sport. That's where you get customs to tattoo their stamp on your butt. Anime intellect, a computer program to buy a professor duttle to know everything about anime. Unfortunately, immediately deemed every other intellect a filthy casual and refuses to work with anyone. Zolo Dolo, the kid giddy of Trinavale, a game Mr. Zolo Dolo, Mr. Zolo Dolo was also an eccentric trillionaire hellbent on collecting crystals. Joshua C, the Bear Princess publicist, who is really struggling to keep the sponsors after their client was revealed to be a cult leader and killed.
Starting point is 02:01:02 And finally, Larissa J, a fire genocid who turns every tub into a hot tub. Oh, that's fun. Thank you guys so much for listening this week. Thank you to all of our patrons and our council of elders and all our listeners. We'll be back next week with another episode. Thank you so much for listening. Goodbye. Woo! That was a Hate-Gum podcast.
Starting point is 02:01:21 Goodbye. Woo!

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