Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 60: Deadeye (The Shadowfell Saga with Brennan Lee Mulligan)

Episode Date: May 9, 2019

Brennan Lee Mulligan (Dimension 20, CollegeHumor) joins the Band of Boobs as they enter the dark and mysterious village of Grimhawk! Hardwon gets creeped out by some spooky teens, Moonshine attempts a bar rescue, and Bev has trouble adjusting to his new Gray knighthood. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."Grimhawk" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."The Fat Monk" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code PAAW-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya, everyone. Oh, Mewya. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Hard everyone. Oh, yeah. Bah. Oh, yeah.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwits. Hard one, sure, foot. Emily Axford. Moon Giant Sabin. Mist Sniffer and Blood Rain. Swiffer. OK. Mop it him up.

Sniff him up. She's like a Mary Poppins of the Underdark. She did Sniff Misk. That is true. That's cool though, in Shadowfell, like the umbrellas go the opposite way. They do, it's Tanner. I saw that in the DM guide.

And Carl Doltaner. Beverly Togold the fifth. Your good bud, full of sweet sweet blood. Nice. Everybody is looking for that boy blood. Guys, we also have a very special guest this week allow me to introduce our granddaddy DM Brennan Lee Mulligan.

Hey gay. Brennan Lee Mulligan. A mysterious stranger with a flayer. Oh, that better be your fucking voice cause I love it. I love it. I wanna meet it. I wanna meet the voice.

Yes, take us to the voice. Brennan this is your first time playing in a long time, correct? I have not played as a PC in over a year, maybe close to two years. Wow. Wow. Well, you're welcome for giving you this opportunity. Yeah.

Thank you to us. Thank you to Emily. That was absolutely huge. Emily, guys, let's give it up for Emily. Can we do a little time? Absolutely. So, great. You know what I'm saying Emily. Can we do a little time? Absolutely, so great. She's amazing. You're right, Emily, I'm moonshine Simon.

Right. I accept your applause. I am. I'm moonshine Simon, and I approve this applause. I am truly so unbelievably psyched to be here. I am fully caught up on the podcast. This is so fucking cool. I love NADPOD.

This is gonna be so much fun. Yeah. We are very excited to have you. The only reason I get to play is because you DM for me. So now I get to pay a full refund. See you guys kind of 69 a little bit. We're 69ing now, but he's been going at me for a long time. Wow, and I haven't been giving him anything. Wow.

I've just just two big beautiful brains, 69, and I love it. So you guys were in 69 position, but Merv was just lying there with his eyes. I was just lazy. Two inches from your mouth, but you won't even lift it. But you know what? Sometimes that's what, you know, like the things in life that are worth the most are worth waiting for. Absolutely. I've never heard that metaphor.

I applied to a 69. 69. But I'm slowly, I'm so, I came for that. Oh, you got it. Time for me to be an active participant in this 69. Let's do a little recap. So last time you guys began your adventure in Shadowfell and immediately became lost in a mysterious fog.

When you got your bearings, you saw that you had an extra hard one traveling with you. After a long, drawn out investigation, moonshine finally sniffed the hard ones and discovered that the false hard one smelled like sulfur. You dispelled sulfur boys' illusion and defeated him, but not before some of Bev's blood was siphoned by the mist. The blood began raining down on you, attracting nearby creatures. You took off and found an abandoned tower to climb. From that vantage point, you could see a village in the distance and torches heading towards you.

After a bit of spying on one of the torchbearers, you discovered that they were human. But when moonshine went to sneak up on him, she was immediately snatched by a man who looked like a hot topic sword guy. This dude Langston told you that he needed to take you to see the Count Ambrose Montgomery, the leader of Grimhawk, moonshine resisted and Langston immediately revealed himself to be a vampire. Meanwhile, Bevin Hardwan questioned the glazy eye to Torchbearer who it turns out was a human who had been sucked dry by vampires turning him speak of 16. Oh, what a way to go. Vampires aren't giving anything back though. Yeah, they're lazy 69 and

He was sucked dry by the vampires not 69 style vampire style Turning him into a simple tin, a shell, if you will. I quickly became clear that the shell was no help, so Bevin Hardwon, Ranemun Shines aid. You were able to subdue Langston, but once you began questioning him, he turned into a mist and flew away. You had one more encounter with Langston, who sent his raven off to the count to warn him of your arrival, but lied and said there were only two of you so that he can enjoy the sweet blood of the rest. You once again have manhandled him and his crew.

I am going off script here for a second to just say how thoroughly you defeated those vampires, they were supposed to be way harder than you treated them. You just resisted all of their charms. You got rolled so well on all of our Christmas acts. When you got both Malora and Polora in your pocket, you just twin pistons pumping away in an eternal 69. Now that is a fucking cysteine chapel.

We've got to stop talking about 69. Malora and Polora 69. So you guys again took off towards the village, but before you could get there, another monster pounced on Bev at the last second though, a gunshot rang out and the beast's head exploded, and that's where we are now. So you guys are in this mist. Gunshot just rang out and a monster's head exploded

just as it was about to pounce on you, Bev. Everyone see that? We shot that bullet. I didn't see anything. I went down perception. But Gun, you found her, start shooting off. I don't know what.

He doesn't have dark vision. Okay. Okay. Holds to their big. Holds to their big. Oh my gosh. Christ. Can I do a perception check to see from once this Gun has erupted sure

All right, I got roll That's gonna be a 14 14 you saw came from like behind Bev All right, I throw a mayo nut over there I cover my ears like it's grenade Hold on one second. I just want to see something here. I'm going to roll a dice real quick. That is a 26 on an attack roll. I would like to shoot the Mayo nut out of the fucking sky.

Just gunshot, Mayo nut explodes, Mayo goes over my mouth wide to kick the foot Mayo It's possible. I do as well. Belorat that was not a Mayo nut I worry. Whoever just whoever just wage war against the Mayo nuts has some some answer to do show your face Be friend or foe Dead eye walks out of the mist Friender foe. Dead eye walks out of the mist. Dead eye.

Brennan, would you like to describe your character? You guys see this figure walking towards you in the mist, done smoking. Oh man, I'm gonna go ham on this one. I never get to describe my character. I'm gonna go ham on this one. A slim swaggering cowboy walks out of the mist, twirling, and ivory handled six shooter in a bony hand.

No flesh hanging to the bone. I see his cowl tin. You see loose rotting flesh hanging on one side of his face and you see on the other side of his face clean pale icy kind of dead skin with an eye on the clean side of the face that is completely white through to the iris with just the pupil staring out of it. On the sort of more rotting half of his face there is like sort of sealed eye but that eye looks actually weirdly healthy like it's blood shot, but there's like it's still in there So the pretty side of his face has the dead eye and then the side of the face that's more necrotic

Or like there's a hole you can kind of see his teeth through his cheek that one has the the more living eye all blood shot in there He's wearing all black but not in the kind of vampire in there. He's wearing all black but not in the kind of vampire fru-fi way. It's not shiny, it's not polished, it's not BDSM gear. Oh it's matte. It's very matte. It's dusty, it's like, it's different shades of black. He's got kind of like a charcoal pinstripe pants and like a solid matte black jacket. No, he doesn't have anything that's made to look imposing. He doesn't have a crazy fucking duster. Just like a slim coat, couple of maybe black buttons

with a little tiny bit of silver around him. He's wearing a hat. He's wearing a black 10 gallon hat low over the brow. And you see that as he looks up a little bit long, elven ears pull away. Oh, yeah. Wow. Y'all, I hate to say it, but I think Malore lost one of her children down here.

I pull out my sword and I say, do you want to be our friend? Dead Eye looks over you guys. He sort of holsters that sick shooter, which again has like beautiful black line work of like skulls but also flowers and stuff. Like plants and flowers and skulls goes into a holster. Hoster, cocoa. Yeah, I was thinking. Like high stitch work patterns, leather work in the boots,

but they're very again like caked with weird ash-y, like shadow fell mud. like, high stitch work patterns, leather work in the boots, but they're very, again, like, caked with weird ash-y, like, shadow fell mud. Ooh, you got mud down here. Hey! And again, his left hand looks kind of icy, blue just sort of like a dead cadaverist, kind of flesh-covered hand.

Brandy, you could say my. What's that? Oh, you could say my. My, that? Oh, you could say my. My, my hand, my me, I'm a person. I'm only one person. I'm only one person. You can play with a bread. You're doing it, Peter.

Yeah, my right hand is just bone with a little bit of the tendons are kind of burnt to ash on it and then white bone peering out. And then again, it's not like two-face works like an even split. It's just like almost like you got a bad... Almost like a lacy lattice work of flesh. It's like on the right side, it's almost like a bad explosion or something happened that like burned up and fucked up one half of his face, but it's not like a clean line down the middle of his face.

A little more Jonah hex than two-faced. Yes, a little more Jonah hex, but two of this. Yes, little more Jonah Hex to, but his lips are still there, his nose is still mostly there. And he's got the two eyes, it's just that one on the clean side of the face is again just pupil. Does it feel like it's looking at me though? Oh, he's looking right at you.

No, I mean the dead eye. Oh, the dead eye? Yes, both, he's got both eyes trained on all of you. Okay. Colster's the gun, he swagger's, he's like very, this is like we were doing an acting class, he's like all hips. It's like hips forward, hips and pelvis forward.

He's got that like cage blanchet and avengers kind of strut. He's like very, exactly. He's like, you can tell even through the shirt this dude's got a V more vicious. He's just, but he also is like, it's like there's a lot of cowboy swagger is why he's like not standing up straight. Also he like maybe can't stand up straight.

There might be like some anatomical undead stuff going on that explains why he gets his posture is not necessarily as good as it could be. How are there strangers? They're all a long way from home. Yeah. Seemed that way. Well, where, how would you know where our home is?

Well, little sister, I recognize one of the cricks on anywhere and takes his hat off. I knew, I knew you was a child of Melora. Get over here. Rear, and I just, I give him a big hug, absorbing as much of that shadow fell mud as I can. He smells bad. To me?

Oh, mm, a different kind of bad, I suppose. I'm not breathing in. A different kind of bad, I suppose. I'm not breathing in. Uh, uh, uh, Dad embraces you and like spins you around and like, uh, puts you down and says, hell yeah, little sister, good to see you. You know me, Ma? You see he goes, I haven't seen me more in quite some time, but I'm a child of me more just like you, young man. You, you're my brother?

Or half-brother? Or something like that? Hey, we're from the crib. Yeah, that is good. And we're gonna do it. Half-brother's just good and we're gonna do it. That's true, we all siblings there. We get like a real mom. Get over here, I cannot believe that.

I have to say I'm glad I was able to catch you, help your little friend over here. What in the hell are you doing this far from the crick? I mean, also my apologies for not, forgive me, my manners. You see, sort of haunted looking at his eyes. Even here, we need to extend a little hospitality, don't we? Oh, I opened my little jug of crick water. I was about to do this

thing. Hey brother, look, you look like you can use a hub for this. Hell yeah, Hoss. Hell yeah, Hoss. Slap you in the back with a bony hand. All right. Get in there. You're going to take a couple. Oh, I love those nostrils. Woo! Oh, that cuts good. Yeah, there's more where that came from. Don't worry. I love those nostrils. Woo! Oh, that cuts good!

Yeah, there's more where that came from, don't worry. Did I, do you know, do you know a fella by the name of old Cobb? Yeah, I know old Cobb. Hmm? Is that a good idea? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and roll it inside, check that out. Oh, okay. I'm going to use my brand new icy dice,

fresh for the, the Grey Knight. 17. You can't really get a read on it. Okay. We're friends with old Cobb. It don't matter though. Get a real Cobb throw up from you. Uh, uh, well, uh, I don't know.

Give you this, both of us do apply the same trade. Uh, what about Melv? Remember Melv? He's dead. I'm so sorry. Melf died. Melf, of course, the second funniest guy at the crack. Melf died?

Yeah. Melf, were you there when there was a crack rock? Hold on, sis. First of all, y'all can call me dead eye. Okay, dead eye. What's your name? Melnor. Oh, yeah.

This is Mel. He reaches his moonshine's leg. I don't have dark vision. He doesn't have dark vision, he's quite confused. But you know, he's okay that way. You're not a vampire, right? Yeah, I don't know, I'm not a vampire. The only thing I'm looking to drink around here is

well whenever the crick water gets chunky enough that you can't huff it no more. Yeah, that's true. Oh, I hate and love what happens, you know when it gets really got to chew it Yeah, when you got a truth like a fris stone bite put it in your lip Put it in your lower lip skin. Oh, I remember dipping crick water. You got to dip that chunky crick water That's for sure. No, dead. I'm so sorry, but we will tell you why we're here We're here hunting down my friend hard one. That's hard one. That's

Beverly. I'm so sorry. I lost my mommy. I'm sorry. His mommy's down here somewhere condemned. So we came to find her. But right now I'm sorry. I'm just so curious about what brought you here. So you guys right now are just in the middle'm just so curious about what brought you here. So you guys right now are just in the middle of the mist. You begin to hear like skittering. I'll tell you what, what's your name, you know? Moon Shine Sabin. Moon Shine Sabin. There you go. Well, I'll tell you what, we ain't doing ourselves no favors staying out here in the mist like this.

Why don't we hoofing on back to Grimhawk and catch y'all up on what's been going on on this side of the shadow for how's that sound? That's absolutely wonderful. Well how about you slam what's your name? I'm Beverly Togo of the fifth, sir. I'm from Glateron originally but I've been traveling around with these folks. They're my scout masters but I think at this point we're all just just, you know, scouts of the world, I would say. Yeah. Hell yeah. All right. I think you're definitely, you're elevated to something almost near

scout master, right? What would you say? So I think I can see it at the very least. No, let me, let me pose a question to you like this, their friend. Who, uh, who made the, who was the very first scout master? You know, is that in the history books, your, your order, the very first green was the very first scout master? You know, is that in the history books, you're, you're older? The very first green teen? Very first scout master.

Well, I mean, some folks say that it was a Pelora himself as the first scout master. Uh, who made him scout master? Well, I mean, I'm not an expert on, on planar physics or anything like that. So I don't know if I could really answer that question. It's kind of one of the great mysteries. Sometimes mysteries need to remain mysteries, I would say. Well, I would just reckon that he probably made himself a scout master and I don't know if I could really answer that question. It's kind of one of the great mysteries. Sometimes mysteries need to remain mysteries, I would say.

I would just reckon that he probably made himself a scout master and I don't see why you couldn't do the same. Bev takes a full minute. I just, my- I kind of looked at hardbond as like, I kind of like being scout master though. You know, I know hierarchy's kind of rotten and whatnot, but-

Beverly sits down with his infinite mug and like just takes a big swig and like stares off into the night. Balnor like starts to pick bad up because we should what? If you become Scoutmaster, we can become senior scout masters. Yeah, I think it's just one hierarchy I might like to maintain. I just think order is important. You know, that might be well true, Fram.

Only order I've ever known about in this world is the order that you can find at the end of this right here. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay? You just, you're, oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, okay. You hear it, just like a skittering spider that was nearby dies. It is all God. Yeah, so I want to go to Grimhawk. Yeah, to Grimhawk. We'll head over to Grimhawk now. We can, if I don't know if you pedal us one, lay low, we can go back to my place. If you want, or if you're looking to get something in your belly, we can head over to the fat monk. I mean, I am desperate to try the local cuisine. Yeah, we're kind of on

a global pub crawl, crawl really in a way. I've been kind of thinking to myself, is there going to be blood infused sort of vampire cuisine? Possibly. And then if there is, who am I? Citizen of the world to turn it down. I might just inquire as to how the blood was. Anyways, this is just something I'm grappling with myself.

Different cultures? I'm ready to eat some blood. They got sliders. You need your rare baby. Yeah. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, y'all, but sliders here turn to ash in your mouth. I reached for Beldor's gun.

I told you to surround. I told you to surround that I know where it is. I take Beldor's gun and I tape it to his hand. Thank you. Dead Eye is going to head off through the mist for Grimhawk. So you guys all follow Dead Eye and you guys are not far from Grimhawk at this point. So the fog begins to clear as you get close to the village of Grimhawk. It curves around the outermost buildings almost as if it were the city wall. There is no mist in the town itself.

When you get into town, you see cobblestone streets and gas lamps, but it is eerily quiet here. The homes and shops are packed tightly together. A lot of the buildings here have this kind of dirty yellow color. This mustard, more so from actual dirt than any kind of like design choice. A lot of like that. Yeah, a lot of smokers. Yeah, a lot of the signs of the shops have been torn down and others are covered in cobwebs.

You see that a lot of the homes are boarded up and the ones that do have windows visible are lit by very dim candle light. You, in fact, see one frightened villager that has the door cracked a little bit like as you guys walk into town and then slams it shut as soon as you guys show up. You are correct, there ain't no hospitality here. None to speak of, moonshine, I'm afraid. Is it because people were, is it because people were taking advantage

of other people's hospitality and then it sort of led to a sort of fear of hospitality? I mean, I don't know what I can reckon you get a place like this, you know in the world that you and I both come from yeah there's As much good as there is evil batting around and people kind of slide one way or the other. But, you know, the average folk don't have the willpower it takes to square their own lives out most of the way. And when you end up being raised in a place like Shadowfell where the air, the mist, the

ground, the water all wants things to be a little bit darker than before, it's not hard for whole towns and cities to move on mass towards the darkness and things. Have you thought about running for office? Yeah. You know, I actually have. They have elections here, but the ballots either turn into bats or they disappear, people get murdered and killed.

Almost okay, so voter fraud. Yeah, a lot of voter, he's like some Jerry Mandarin by the vampires I would assume. Oh, I mean, the districts here are abysmal. Blacklining. We know a mayor back in Buhumi. Yeah, by the vampires I would assume. Oh, I mean the districts here are abysmal. I'm like lining We know a mayor back back in Bahumi. Um, so did you ever know Joe than the mayor? The brain man He was recently elected. I don't know if you were there for that. Oh, you might not have known you know the talking praying mantises

Certainly, uh, wait, so I'm trying, I actually don't, I'm, I have a hard time, um, for keeping my, keeping track of time down here. Oh no. My stopwatch should just always read some midnight and, um, it's real bad down here. Forgive us for how cool we find all of this. Yeah. No, I understand that I occupy an extremely dope aesthetic,

but my life is quite bad Okay, I'm so sorry to hear that. No, no, hey, you know, hey, here's the thing You know the sad thing too is I was I had some nanophiles on me. I could have brought a little more of the quick to you I know Take off take off Take off take off Take off Just Whatever way you can

Oh, make sure the walls stay thick. I would give anything I would give anything for a crowd daddy Just a little bit of brown on there I know I pat my pockets I feel a bunch of crowd daddies and say I wish I could help you out Wait Can I use ourlan only has six?

Oh fuck it, here you go buddy. Ha, ha, ha, you are. I want you to know this, I mean this. You can take this to the fucking bank. I mean my eye like glows with like a deathly energy. Uh oh, you one brother. And it's no joke. It's awful. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. I'll start sucking out all the brown. Oh, get that brown in there. That's some spicy brown. Oh. Hey, Bev, you see he ate the tail. He ate everything.

The claws. He ate the claws. This guy's the man. He's hardcore. Does anyone else wonder if his flesh gets a little rotten towards the stomach? Now if we could see him digest in some of it. We make a perception check to see if I could see it to his chest. Yeah, you guys want to like try to peek like under his duster like catch it at the right angle. You see somebody

that has like a really crazy breath. It's gonna be a 20 for me. I got a Nat 20. Oh! Tell me about his navel. I actually, you're old and Nat 20. I think that Dead Eye just lifts up his shirt. And he's, so he's got, so like, from like the pelvis line down is flesh, and like where his chest and ribcage starts to flesh, everything between the bottom of the ribcage and the top of the pelvis is gone. And there's just open spine.

Yo, you have to tell me you're ab routine. You're like negative 20% body fat. Oh, well, yeah, if you ever want to hit the gym together, man, I mean, there's not much else to do down here to keep fit. I am doing like a circuit with this. It was bad, yeah. Show me your ass keep fit. I am doing like a circuit with, with this thing. Yeah, show me your ass, Beth.

I show my ass. So flat. You see, I just think, I mean, I ain't got no protein down here as the main thing. So I'm all, I'm just doing calisthenics. I don't do a lot of yoga. I do a lot of things to just stay limber. You look limber, you look live.

Yeah, I mean, I love to put on some boat, but just everything down here is ash and dust and sorrow. Just can't put on man's, but just everything down here is ash and dust and sorrow. You just can't put on mates. I give him another cry, dude. Yeah. So I've done one more. Did I suckin' down this brown as you guys walk through this town?

And you eventually do get to the fat monk. You see an old wooden sign just hanging on its, or like swinging on its hinges. There's an image of like a portly monk holding a mug of ale. It's aged and weathered and looks like it was painted a very long time ago. And this is one of the few places that has its doors open. So you guys enter, you see that there is a fireplace going.

There are a few stools that are spread out across a long bar. The cherry-colored wood is all cracked and dusty and scratched up. The bartender is a pot-bellied man with a stained white apron. Dead Eye, you would know this to be Sammy. He's got a big bald spot with gray hair sticking out in all directions and a vacant look in his eyes. He looks like the other guy that you ran into in the mist like he's a shell. Behind him there are casks of ale covered in cobwebs and dust, as well as racks of various other alcohols

with missing bottles on empty spaces between them. Throughout the bar itself, there are probably like six tables. One is completely broken and half and unusable. A few of them only have one or two chairs at them. Most of the tables are empty, but there is one shell sitting alone at the bar drinking by himself, staring off with a vacant look. He's got like really stringy hair and he's super skinny. He's not he's not burned is he? He doesn't look good. There is another table that is occupied by a man and a woman, both peasants wearing dirty clothing, the man's wearing like

suspenders over stained white tunic, and the woman wears a long plain brown gown with a dirty white wimple atop her head. Now what in the lower it's good name is a wimple? It's those little like white bonnet little hat thingy. It's the top of a habit. None's habit to top of those women. Yeah, you were writing? Nope, a hat to look it up.

All right, cool. I had to look up what is a peasant woman hat? Half of being a DM is just going to the SARS-CoV-M. You see that they were talking with urgency when you guys walked in, but as soon as you guys walk in, they get super suspicious and start whispering. Hey, two o'clock, lady in the Whipple. OK.

You guys, you know, I tend to go for a lady in a Whipple, but this one is a little distress. That's a stiff Whipple. Goodness. So as you guys enter, you see Sammy, this shell dude, this pot-bellied bartender, turns to you guys as you enter, and he goes, Hey y'all, welcome to the bar.

Oh, cool. Great. Oh, you, soall, welcome to the bar. Oh, cool. Great. Oh, you, so you again, looks over at Dead Eye. Hey there, say how's he going partner? It's going good. Well, listen, I collected a couple of friends out there in the midst, they're lucky to be alive. Let's say the house throws down a couple of rounds

and maybe some meals from my hungry friends here. Go ahead and give a persuasion check. Sure. Oh my first time. I step back. We definitely have things we can barter, but I'm impressed by this. Yeah, I love a free meal.

Yeah. We talk briefly about Brendan's cool black dice, by the way. Yeah. We got some shadow fell dice. I got some shadow fell dice. They're black on black up city and level up dice. And what do they just roll? Fucking that one.

So that's. Oh man, this guy is so easy. Oh, he's a shadow, man. This guy is so easy to persuade. Um, but he, uh, he just goes, Well, the house doesn't make food. I do. So... Alright, I can take this.

Hey, what's your name again? Uh, it's Sam, Samy. Not Samy, not Samy, too. Samy, you know, up in the material plane say, say me, not saying to you. You know, up in the material plane, a piece of possum fur will go for, you know, $100. I pluck out one piece of hair from Papa. Please give it to me, Moonshine.

Wait, wait, promise that to me. Moonshine, go ahead and roll up this way, so check. I got a 20. Oh, 20, okay. He reaches out, no, no, I'll get the hair. Damn it, you're lucky. I'm so sick. I'm so sick.

Sorry, Papa. And you see he walks back to go to like a little kitchen area. So what's the cuisine here? Yeah, what are we looking forward to? Well, ash cakes. Cause I'm famished. Well, I reckon in three, you can order whatever you like. There are living people that are native to the Shadowfell.

Are you not living? You saw this topic, right? I know, but I thought it was like a variation on living. I am. What stripe of living are you? Are we talking Revenant, homunculi? No, what's sh- I wouldn't say the R word out here in the open like that.

Okay. What I am is a little bit of mystery. I don't know what I am. I don't know what I am. Hey, huh. I wish I could find out, but I'm trapped in this town. So what? OK, OK. Y'all, I know that we have some stuff to go over, but.

I think I like the menu. Yes, actually, you can start on that. Did I? What happened to you? How did you just tell me what you can about getting from the quick to here? I will do my best. Where do you want me to start and is it okay and can I watch the

three of you eat? I can't really. Yeah. Oh God. I'm not. So you guys see after a little bit you you notice that he does not ask you what you want. There is no menu.

You just said we would like some food and then he left. Comes back after a little bit. It walks up with three plates. One appears to be like soup in a plate, like a weird broth with some cabbage in it. On a plate. On a plate. So the soup is like spilling over a little bit. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Spilled your broth a little bit, puts the broth in front

of Beverly. You do share that. He points to Balnor. You do her kids, so you get, yes sir. Okay. And then he serves you two guys. It looks like the meat of some kind of winged creature that does not have a lot of meat. It's like a wing bone. There's like tons of tiny bones in

it. The worst type of animal you could possibly possibly go. I'm so sorry. I know that we have a lot on our plate but I need to do a real quick bar rescue and I turn to Sam and I say, show me your kitchen, because I'm gonna show you how to maximize what you got going on. Yeah. This wing, you see, it's more about the bone. So you wanna come up with a recipe

that's gonna suck the flavor out the bone and not put as much emphasis on the meat. And this should be in a bowl. Another point. We broke the bowl. You got one bowl. He just starts to walk away. Oh God.

I know I hate to be this kind of way, because truth is, back when I was alive and in boom, I was traveling all over the world, and every single culture out there has something rich and special and meaningful to offer So I never want to speak ill of a place especially to people that are risen in it for the first time But this place is I know after seeing this meal I feel less

My the traveler inside of me is feeling are you not gonna finish your way? Oh? I already finished it. Yeah, I'm sucking the marrow up. Yeah Now we're gonna hug in the cabbage What let me in on it. I love this broth is not bad It's hardy. Yeah, I think whatever little bat thing was in this How long how long you've been down here? Yeah again, I don't working. I know how long it's been I Don't I Strange down here. I mean it's sort of like you know a lot of these other plans. Feywild and whatnot. We're time. he's a time strange down here. I mean, it's sort of like, you know,

a lot of these other plans, say wild and whatnot, where time is a little bit different. Do you make any friends? You know, Harvard, no, I haven't. Oh! I haven't made any friends. It's tough to be a loner and outsider.

That's hard for me to. Have you sort of like sought out some sort of communities of like-minded folk and make friends with others? What helps us out in August? Oh yeah, me and Sammy, we hang out all the time. He's a laugh riot. The guy who thought that suit goes on a plate.

Yeah, we're real close. This place is bad. It's bad place. Did I take me back to your last day that you remember at the Cric? If you don't mind, you know, expose and such intimate feelings, we're all about emotional walls, but we're

also about occasionally taking them down. You got to peek over the wall every once in a while. Otherwise, you don't know who to keep out. You gotta do a Tim Allen's neighbor. No Wilson, it's true. Let's do a Wilson here, guys. If you build four walls, that's a house. I think you need a roof in this and a floor. Hey baby steps, man, come on. All right, boy. What is a roof, but another wall over your head. Oh, my lord, this is a good stuff.

That's beautiful, and it's profound. Dad, I also, I think at this point, reaches into the cavity in the middle of his torso and sort of winces for a second and takes to kind of chew shoot up crawdaddies and hands them back to hard one. I put them back in my satchette. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.

Mochak can make a stew out of this. Oh yeah, that's good. You guys also see after a little bit, Sammy comes back with an entire keg of ale. This place is so bad. We work with it. You want the drink, right? One of you said you wanted a drink?

Yeah, that's pop-off. Rare. He's the one with all the rich stuff on his per. Yeah, he puts it down on the table. It's dusty and fucked up and it has not been tapped properly and it's just pouring out already. It's almost like when you put a key in a beer. Yeah, it's like shotgun in right away.

I put the plate under it. Put your infinite cup under it. Okay, yeah, I do that. Yeah, we can just pass that around. All right, so did I take me to your last day that you remember at the Cric? Maybe that's a good place to start. All right, remind me again,

you, I don't think, had been born yet even. I mean, I was well over 200 when I was still walking around in Bohemia. when I was still walking around in Bahumia. The last time I saw the Cric was long, long time ago, during the troubles between Jo-Lene, who, when she was my mom, wasn't yet Mimal and Maribel. Bad times at the creek and... Something wasn't missed, yeah. Something wasn't missed at the creek.

I don't wanna get too into it right now, but suffice it to say that a lot of people made a lot of choices about the best way to defend the Cric and a lot of sacrifices were made by a lot of different people and some of those sacrifices worked. The important thing was that you know we lost a lot in that strife and I was relatively young at the time, I think about 50 years old, something like that. And decided to make my way in the world, didn't see much of a place at the creek for myself after everything that happened. You know Maribel was being manipulated, right?

By hell forces? You'll say it. Oh man, that piece of shit. You know Maribel was being manipulated right? bad Hell forces You'll said oh man that piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a some bitch that I remember he I was smoking up Where was I was oh I was in the middle of a giant arcane globe I was smoking up with Alonus and she was talking about how he was Holy shit. Now that is a name, you're all. You're so close.

It's one of the last things I can do. I mean, I still got lungs. Thank God. I think Laura, I still got my lungs. Yeah, I know, right? Someone get him a cigarette. I need to see it come out of his ribcage in a funny way. Oh, yeah.

Do I have a cigarette on me? Hey, easy. Easy, Ares Lim. I understand that it have a cigarette on me? Hey, easy. Easier, Slim. I understand that it's a novelty, but it's my body and it's a source of endless horror for me. I'm so sorry. Again, everything about you is very cool,

but also tragic, trying to get over that home. No, I understand. And that's a hump worth getting over, so I get it. Point being, I miss quick water, I miss crawdads, I miss it all, but you shouldn't feel bad for me, Moonshine. I mean, I had centuries of life after leaving the Crick. I've traveled all over Bohumi. I've been to Glateron and Esri and all the way down. I mean, I've been all over the map. And there's a life outside of the Crick. And sometimes losing home is the first step on the way to a grand adventure.

So you shouldn't have shed any tears for me. Yeah, but she still ended up here, man. How the hell did that happen? Well, yeah, I did that happen. I don't rightly know. I remember it was in a lab experimental gun. Was it in Esri? Yeah, it was in a lab experimental gun. Was it an Esri? Yeah, it was an Esri.

Yeah, an experimental gun. I was in a lab. There was this dude, he's a little freak man. I used to go, there was a swingers party in Esri. This little freak got an invite to this guy, Dutdle. Who was a... Oh yeah, we messed with him. Oh, we killed him.

Well good. He's a fucking freak. He's a dude. You know what I, you know what I, just name a bunch of shitty people, you know, we'll see if we kill them. Yeah. Yeah, would that make you feel better?

It's a fun little game. Sure. Okay, Duttle. Yeah, he's going. Duttle's gone. Super dead. There was a one time I lost my British in a card game to some royal dwarf up in frost wind. Oh, yeah

That's got to be a cold day. Yeah, maybe brust or something What a cold that we kill the whole fuck ton of them. Oh, yeah, oh good that whole family Yeah, whole royal line. We kind of knocked out in one. Yeah, yeah, you should cover the hammer hard one Well, okay, well, we've talked about me quite a bit. Seems like he's three or real trio of bruises. Sorry, it's just so nice to see another crit folks. So I just want to ask you everything about you. And I've just got a self-serving question from me.

Does anybody ever leave Shadowfell? You know how do you know how to get out of here? Well that's a question I'm very very interested in answering for myself. Have we doomed ourselves by subbing on Shadowfell's local fare? I wouldn't reckon so because the barriers to exit this place are not as mystical and a lot more purposeful than you might imagine. There are, we can do purpose. There are forces at work that have names and more importantly, and he peels the edge of his jacket

back to show his gun bodies that are stopping people from leaving this place. So we might be able to help my mother help you help that woman in a wimpel over there. Yeah, you know that. You know that little failure underneath that wimpel over there. You do, you have seen her before. She's a peasant named cat.

She lives in town. She's not a shell though, is she? The people at the other table that were whispering are not shells. Are they like looking at us? Are they kind of like... Oh, they're fucking in the form. ...inspicious as hell of me.

I give her a show. I get a little overall and kind of drape it over my shoulder a little bit, you know? I... ...will come here, there. Yeah, I kind of like, gesture towards our giant barrel gear and invite them over Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage cuz moonshine's shoulder

There's no advantage in this town and just just to be clear guys So you guys know like the Feywild that this is a reflection of the material plane So you guys are in one town right now. You aren't just in Chattalfa. Like, did I? I know. I'm stuck in this town. Oh, did I?

Well, yeah, so let me go ahead and say, first of all, I can't tell you how much it means to even have someone look at me, especially someone who's obviously a champion of Melora and blessed to look at me and call me a Crick because I ain't called myself that in quite some time. Oh, I'm looking at you and you are heartening me. I found out some, you know, I found out some stuff about my ancestry that I wish I didn't know and seeing a healthy Crick come from me, Maul's vagina. It's making me feel good. Some brown fully falls out of dead eyes, really. I'm thinking, I slap him on the shoulder,

I'm thinking, we come from good stock, huh? I'm so sorry. She says vagina a while. Hey, that's, hey, that's nature. I know you're a young teenage fellow, but there's nothing about a woman's body. It's not beautiful. It's more of a fact than I was stating.

Okay, arguably, especially the vagina. So what are the most beautiful parts? There's nothing about a woman's body. It's not beautiful. It's more of a fact than I was stating Arguably especially the vagina So one of the most beautiful parts I've heard what did you guys get in your persuasion chest? I Rilda 24 four okay You see they look over at you. And for a second, Bev, the woman and the man look like protective of you for a second.

They're almost like clocking these other guys to see if they're like vampires or some kind of monster or something. And then they quickly regain their senses and like go back to minding their own business. I take a napkin and I orgami it into a wimpel and I put it on my head. You see the woman like politely laughs a little bit I take a napkin and I orgami it into a wimple and I put it on my head

You see the the woman like politely laughs a little bit, but turns a very rare case I I tap that on the shoulder and I point to pop-offs naked head Man, I crowned pop-off. I nod solos like Sammy fully does not stop laughing just Sammy fully does not stop laughing just Refill on this So he's like a car alarm just as long as papa has the hat on does not break that like I listed off his head I put it back on Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's probably not here. I mean, I don't see any skaters around, but yeah. I see skaters. Mosquitoes.

Oh, I didn't know. I thought maybe that was like the neighborhood watch run by like the vampires or something like that. No, skaters are blood suckers. All right, so let's, okay, that's what I'm talking about. Why don't we head back to your place. Do you have any more cool black clothes? Yeah.

Just, I would pray for myself. Yeah, what do you, I'm totally free for myself. Yeah, what do you do? Where did you get me? Like, you have totally different body types. I'm just saying if we sew two jackets together. I can chop off the legs. If I may interject, I would like some pinstripes. I've been in my room, your pinstripes.

I mean, I can't, yeah. We're going through an emo phase. It'd be really nice to be in all black. I mean, you came to the right place for that. Pressing for the part. Sure, I mean, you came to the right place for that. You're the person for the park. Uh, sure. I mean, we can do a little, you know, this place is sort of a whole monument to sorrow, but there are some clothing stores downtown. We can go hang out and maybe you can do a little shopping trip, makeover.

Hand them up real quick. Hand them up real quick. No, if we're going to be here, we might as well. Let's have a believe you make over montage. I didn't really hear a woman screaming outside. I'm going shopping. You never let a 70 fun. suddenly hear a woman screaming outside. I'm going shopping. You never let a 70 fun.

I run out. I run out. Actually, let me do a perception check real good to see if I think it's like a real woman or a trap. Sure. That's going to be a 26. Sounds like a very scared woman. Okay, I'll run out. I'll run out. Dead eyes right after.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll follow out, I'll run out. Dead eyes right after. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'll follow, I'll run out. You guys all run out, you guys see the peasants just look scared as fuck when that happens. The shells don't react at all, they're just like, oh, okay. The peasants get super scared and like go hide back in the kitchen.

I tip my winkle at them. They're fully running away. Yeah. So you guys rush outside onto the cobblestone streets and you see a young woman trying to get away from some half giant looking guy. Looks like ogre-sized or something. It's this big, hulking ogre looking dude. He wears a dusty blue robe with a hood pulled up

and under it is a copper mask with a neutral expression. He's grabbing the girl and pulling at her, and she's screaming, let me go, let me go, dammit, let me go, the freak, I spores him. You run up and spores this guy, take him completely by surprise, and do six damage to him as you cough up spores in his face. You see, he, let's go of the girl and staggers back a little bit

and just makes like a guttural sound. You just go, and she goes, ah, fuck! She starts taking off. This guy turns to chase her. I, let's tackle him. Did I? Everybody rolling to shoot. Yeah. I feel like let rolling to shoot him. Yeah.

I feel like let's let, I got 15. I feel like let's let this young lady go run away. Sure. I ain't gonna chase some woman. Unless it's like an angler fish deal and she's the lure. Oh. Yeah, is dead, you know this woman? Dead eyes, is this an angler fish situation?

Would I, I know the ogre, but what I know, the girl at all are now. So the woman is, uh, like a young woman, like a teenager, maybe like 17 or 18 years old, um, and she looks dressed up like she's about to go out or something. She's wearing like a nice dress or like a peasant's version of a nice dress. It looks like she tailored her own like peasant scound, um, to make it look, uh, real stylish. And it looks, she was beautiful. Absolutely. Cool. So she's like a little, a like peasant scound to make it look real stylish I think she was beautiful. Absolutely. Cool.

So she's like a little peasant girl. Yeah, you would know her in town. Her name is Sandy. Sandy, cool. Great. What did everybody get for initiative? 19. 15.

8. 31. Whoa. Come on, yeah. Boy, it's normal. Normally, it's like 0 to 20. Yeah, I got a 31. Okay. Okay. Dead. He's got feats. No, I can't wait to look at all your feats at the end. I got a 15. So believe it or not, dead. I you are first. You have this. This big ogre guy was grabbing

this girl like by the wrist trying to pull her. Moonshine ran up, did six damage jump, did a little spores to him, he surprised to let out this grunt and let her go, she starts taking off running and you guys got the jump on him. OK, dead eye whips Lewan off his hip. Oh, I didn't know she had a name. Oh, man. Well, she has a name.

I should get my gun a name. You should just use dead eyes. The way in this break. Guys, dead eyes is not that cool. Oh, Baleno, don't go down this road. Dead idea of kids. What? I'm kidding. Just looking for another dad.

God damn it. Sorry, I'm gonna spend a grit point to make this a violent shot. Dead eye playing or Brennan rather playing Matt Mercer's Gunslinger class. Not only Matt Mercer's Gunslinger class, I'm also playing a Hollow One, which is a Matt Mercer custom race.

So there you go. So there you go, good luck. Thanks, this is a big Matt Mercer day here on the pot. Thank you, Matt. 19 to hit. Hits. Brett, it has so many dice. Jesus.

Oh boy. 30 damage on the first attack. Jesus. You see this big, over like, staggers back as this huge shot just like explodes in his shoulder. But he's pretty hard. He's still up. 28 to hit on the second attack.

Super hits. And that one's not gonna get sneak attack damage that one's also a violent shot. 25 damage on the second shot. Ooh, yeesh. Yeah, it's so slow. I go back inside and get some cabbage. Oh, no.

I definitely am like glad that Bev gets to follow that. I don't wanna follow that. Dang, good stuff. Bev, that is your turn. How's he looking? He looks okay. It's hard to tell because he's wearing this big robe and he has this mask on, but he's moaning. So as I'm approaching him, I'm kind of like,

I'm uncheating my sword. It's fully gray at this point. I'm kind of like, I'm doing a quick check-in with Polore. Okay, it's been a while since we talked, but I'm kind of doing a new thing. Is that cool with you? Go ahead and make a religion check. Cool. Oh, 19. 19. You see as you are going near the sky, and you do have your blade lit up at this moment. Yeah. Okay. So you use a bonus action.

You light up your sword. You see it begins to dim a little bit. It dills. Yeah. Huh. But you don't know why. Dim and like a, it dims to like a cool gray that looks like like a lighter green, lighter green,

not the night of gray that I was hoping for. It's okay, bad, maybe the reception's bad down here. Um, um, um, and I just, I guess I just launched forward sweet swing at this guy. Yeah, just like, that was not what I was hoping for, but okay. That's going to be a 19 to hit. That does hit.

Great. 14. 14 damage, sweet. You slash into this guy. Not as powerful as the gun. Mm-hmm. I'll leave it behind. Good effort, little man.

Keep it going, Slim. You got this. Hey, you can bring people back to life. That'll leave it behind. Good effort, little man. Keep it going, Slim. You got this. Hey, you can bring people back to life. That's good, too. I turn back at everyone and I point at my sword and I'm like, what is this? It's not working. I am kind of worried. I'm testing the waters and digging a toe in.

I'm going to try and hit again. Okay, actually, can I go ahead and just like add a divine smite to that one? Yeah, you hit. Okay. Yeah, so I want to see how that works. Okay. It's four extra damage. Jesus. Boom. You see that? You slashed it. You see there is an explosion of radiant energy and it just stagger him a little bit. I guess I'll attack again. Sweet. Woo.

That's a natural 20 though. Oh, that's very good. Has the glow of the sword now. It needs to get his groove back. Yeah. Bev's office rocker. Bev is office game. I'm out of, I don't, should I do a third level smiter?

Should I save that slot? I don't know what we're up against today. I gotta save that slot. I think so, but yeah. Okay, I can't do a smite, but I will take this double damage, I guess. Sweet, yeah. 14. Sweet. I'm just being a rolled a one there. And also, my strength is still reduced, isn't it?

Yes. Okay, that's what you, that's what's up. No, you know what, I'll say you guys have taken a short rest while you guys have been walking around and at the bar, probably like an hour or two has passed. Like you guys sat and shot the shit with a dead eye. Okay, okay, okay. I'll shootin' the shit with dead eye. That's good.

There'd be more shooting shit with really good that's dead eye's podcast. That's good. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Shootin' the shit. Bev, after your turn, That's really good. That's get us podcast. That's really good. That's get us podcast. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good.

That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good.

That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good.

That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. Fling size dudes, you recognize them, dead eye. They are also wearing blue robes and the copper masks with like the neutral expressions on, and they jump forward and are going to take stabs at Beverly. Oh, you see they jump forward, they go. You little rats.

Why are you friends with the vampires? We are not friends with the vampires. Do what? Are you with the vampires? We are not friends with the vampires. Do what? Are you not the vampires? So this little half-ling person does hit Beverly with a dagger. Oh, there. Stabs into Beverly. Friend of vampires, why?

We don't want those guys. We are not friends with vampires. You don't know my friend group? 27 damage. Okay. And go ahead know my friend group. 27 damage. And go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. 50. That passes. So you're only gonna take half of this.

So you take 15 extra poise and damage. Okay. But yeah, you look down and you see this, this little assassin halfling has gotten like under your ribs and you see this like black ooze dripping off the blade. And then this other one is gonna swing at you. Ow! The black ooze is coming from the blade

and not Beverly, right? Right, yeah, yeah, no, Beverly's not full of a light. I don't know what happens when you come a gray knight. Yeah, as you blow a gray. Bad blood? This other one hops off the first assassin and stabs down it to Bev. Thank you sister. Oh Cute and really cute. I Glad you have each other and hits and is going to do

32 damage, okay, and then Go ahead and give me another constitution saving throw. You guys see Bev is just like all by himself, just like all of these dudes with blue robes are just like stabbing down on him. 14. 14 does not pass.

Uh-oh. You are going to take another 31 damage. I'm down. Bev goes down. Oh. I just got back to full HP. Jesus. I'm going to call to my hands some spell magic. Okay. It's going to be a beautiful light magical energy glowing from my hands and I'm going to turn to these. What is it?

Two youngins. You don't know like if they're kids or if they're halflings or what they are. I guess they have like a halfling proportions, you can kind of tell. I'm gonna, I'm gonna just say, turn to the youngins and say, we are not friends with vampires. Do you see this goodness coming out of me? You see, you can't see any kind of like expression on their face or anything,

but you see the one that's just like gone up and stabbed, Bev just kind of tilts their head and goes, then why are you letting her run away? Okay, just so you know, we're not the enemy. I didn't know what that girl situation was. I heard a woman screaming after being attacked by a shadowy figure on the street and my instinct is to side with her. And so, but I'm just letting you know I could use this turn I could use all this magical goodness to hurt you But it said I'm gonna heal my friend Trust in that y'all are gonna have a real conversation with us rather than just you know sneaking around with knives And then I'm gonna heal Bev okay, so this is just a chaotic battle so they're hearing this over

The sounds of them just like clashing battle so they're hearing this over the sounds of them just like clashing Against Bev and I guess now standing over Bev's unconscious body. I'm healing him for 23 23. Yeah, I pop back up. That's not my ooze That is the big guys turn Bev you are up in the mix. So this guy's gonna take off You get an opportunity attack if you'd like to take one. Oh, on him? Yeah, he looks like he's running towards the girl. Um, who's just yelling, get away from me, you fucking weirdos? I'll swipe out of my guess.

Okay, go ahead. 18. 18 hits. Great. 8. Damage on the first hit. Do I get two attacks or just one on it? Ah, just one.

Okay, okay. And I do have an ability called Relentless Avenger now as a Grey Knight, which means that after an opportunity attack, I can use half of my speed as part of the same reaction to run sweet. So I'm gonna double that with my Yippee Skippy boots and just chase after the girl now. Sweet, the girl has not gotten that far away.

On his turn, he was going to run up and try to snatch her up. I will say, just for the fun of it, if you're able to catch up and use this reckless avenger thing, you can do an opposed grapple check if you guys want to kind of like wrestle. I think I want to get between them.

Okay, go ahead and do, I'll say athletics. Do an athletics check against him. Seven. Seven, okay, he got a 25. You see, I'll say athletics. Do an athletics check against him. Seven. Seven. Okay, he got a 25. You see, I think you're one, Ben. Ben, you feet. I swear he does a squats every day.

Ben, every day. He skips, he runs super quick over to this girl who's running away, gets in front of her, holds his hand up. This dude just stiff arms, sorry. It's stiff arms, Ben. So we're going on here to, oh! stiff arms, bev down and then scoops the girl up. Denna, whose side are we on in this battle? Every side in this town is bad, the whole town's bad.

I feel the K. The whole town is bad. Okay. Hard one that's your turn. I report spores everyone and I say, the whole town is bad. Also, welcome to the report spores, dead eye, everyone. When dead eye? When dead eye? You can put an emoji next to your name if you want.

I think that the emoji that comes out is just... Oh! Oh! Sorry, who is the brain I don't have and I saved him I speaking so? That's dead eye, y'all. Oh shit! Neither report spores. I'm gonna have to buy a speaking stone. That's dead eye y'all. Oh shit.

Newly report sports. I'm going to, no one doesn't have these emojis on it. Just a little weird black square shows out a bunch of them in the room. So everyone's bad. Everybody's bad. We're not bad.

The two little halflings at the same time tilt their heads. We're dealing with shades. Yeah y'all have that creeper little head tilt they heads. It shades, we're dealing with shades. Yeah y'all have that creeper little head tilt they do. Oh yeah. They're not bad. They're seeing. We were good, but we found, we were bad, but then we found the goddess.

Oh, I swing my hammer at them. Wait, Viola? Who? Okay. The dust mother. The what? The dust mother. Hardware, get that picture out.

I hate. Our lady of penance. It's not your mom, is it? I show them the picture of the widow. Is it this lady? They don't know what the fuck, they just shrug their shoulders. I hit him with my hammer. Okay. You just run into one of these little half wings.

Run up. I'm gonna pick your way. Is this her? I'm gonna attack. Is this her? I'm just like, oh yes. It's like showing somebody a picture of your lost dog and then just uppercat again. 21 to hit. 21 hits.

10 damage. 10 damage. Okay. Yeah, you go over, they're like tilting their heads, being like, we were bad, but we're good. Just like rock one right in the face. Fall's over. Great. How good are you?

Very good. Why, but you try to kill my friend. You try to kill my friend. Your friend? Your friend? Try to kill my friend first. No, we tried to stop your friend, a troll, giant ogre from... He's trying to save her.

Save her. Swing. You gotta take your text. Alright fine. 26 damage. Or 26 to hit. That hits All right fine. 26 damage or 26 to hit. That hits. Hard one, they've got the timeline right. I did swing at them.

17 damage. 17 damage. I should have reported for these little fucks. I thought I was gonna use my action surge. Okay. To hit them some more. Just swinging my hammer back and forth. Leave my sister alone.

I'm gonna swing my hammer at the other guy then. Actually, no, I'm gonna try to kill somebody. I'm gonna swing it through the sister. 16. 16 does hit. Yes. We should have hit. 14 damage.

That's something we can do. 14 damage, sweet. All right, one less attack. Hammer. No, per cut hammer, that one. That one. That one. You didn't ask.

Swing up just like. Quickly dodges out of the way. I hit him three times, did I? The out of four. That's great. Very good. Really good. Show me that pit poster again. Oh, this lady, it's my mommy.

Oh shit, Lydia. Oh my god. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Holy hell, man. Aw, I man. I Faint Y'all can we just can we just take these little fucks captive and go somewhere?

Conversation, let's shove them in a barrel or something you see Bound or run It's Bound or Stern Bound or runs up and just tries to jump on top of the ogre guy that's carrying the girl He does a grapple check. He fails. He gets fucking stiff armed and just gets thrown We got to get that guy dark vision. You love dude. That is back around to dead eye. Okay. This, this ogre is not looking at me, right? He's not looking at you. He's trying to run away. He's like fleeing. Cool. Gotcha. So you can get sneak attack. Cool. I will, I will get advantage on him as he's running. I'm going to... In the future. Oh man, I would love to cast Pass Without Trace with you on you.

Say, do you want to do some recon? No, baby. We'd lose him forever. Oh. Okay, this is going to be a violent shot as well. That's going to be a 24 to hit that hits 31 points of damage. Jesus You blow a fucking hole in this guy's back still alive

Really? I'm gonna take my second attack. Yep, but yeah, you see you blow into his back And you see like all like ash flying and stuff and just cloak like breaks in half 15 damage on the second attack Homeboy still running. He is all right like ash flying and stuff and just cloak like breaks in half. 15 damage on the second attack. Homeboy still running. He is. All right, we're gonna action-hurt, but still a lot. Action surge.

Oh, jeez. Oh! Hey, that's your thing. That'll share it. Oh, that was like kind of special. The harm wand did that. Yeah. Oh, you should feel pretty,

it's pretty cool. I have the same thing as dead either. Yeah, that's pretty true. Yeah, wow. I feel good about being a crick. That one's gonna be 19 to hit. That does hit. OK.

17. Last 17 points of damage. Jesus. Very hurt. Still alive. Still alive. Last attack on this one. That's a 29 to hit.

That hits. 17 more damage. Who? Dead Eye, finish him. No! Oh yeah! Dead Eye looks over at you, moonshine. The eye on the clean side of his face,

the pupil gets down to just a pinpoint of black. And he out of his like, the pupil gets down to just a pinpoint of black. And he out of his like horrible kind of mangled bloody eye that you see like a rich, elven, crick green, winks at back is like completely torn up and he completely like combusts and turned to ash. Oh, did I? You made me so proud of where I came from. And Boundor and the girl crashed to the ground. Ah, Bev, that's your turn.

Okay, I want to run over to the girl. Okay, and I want to use Pelor's chains to restrain her. Okay. This is a newly flavored a Grey Knight thing. It's basically just divine wrath, but instead of vines, they are chains now. Sweet, so she'll need to make a strength or dexterity saving.

Jesus. Okay. She fails, brave or not. Out the fuck you doing, you fucking weirdo. We're gonna get to the bottom of this, okay? I thought you were on my side, you fucking weirdo? Listen, it's just everyone in this town, fucking weird. We're just trying to navigate some very subtle shades of gray

and I need you to sit tight for a second. Okay, she's wrapped up in chains. I kinda look back at everyone and say like, I got her. Good. I shrugged. You tackled and changed the woman we were trying to say, but I think that is what we needed to do say but I think that is what we needed to do

I think that's what we need to do. I'm gonna call it a win You see they look up at you. What do you mean? What do you mean shades of gray? We're doing good We're doing good things on the stab at hard one. You're bad. You like vampires. Why? Oh? We have consistently told you we don't like vampires. What are you broken record? Why are you working with them. It reflects so badly on this realm that you talk so creepy. You talk normal.

You talk normal. They talk at the exact same time. We are normal. I thought one of them was dead. No, just the big guy. Oh, the big guy is who he took down dead. Yeah, you're shooting the big gash tag. Hard one, this one does hit you.

31 damage, hard one, and then go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Okay. That's probably, I get advantage, but I think if 25's gonna do it anyway. Yes, 25 does do it. Murf, yes. Can we say that as a bonus action on my turn,

I use my amulet? Yeah. Okay, thank you. Yeah. Okay, hard one, you only take half of, you take half of 29, so we'll round down to 14. From the poison. Cool, with my, as I take the hit,

I tie my hair up into a man bun, and I give it right back. Sweet, health-reviewed. Yeah, buddy. They're gonna pass, they're saving throw. Cool. But so they still take pass their saving throw. Cool. Uh, but so they still take two detends of damage half of that? Yes.

Six. Six damage. Dang. They don't? Uh, no. I think it does. But this hurt one is more hurt. Uh, you shoot some fire at them.

Wow, you really are evil. Damn right, I am. Uh, takes a second attack. This attack isn't gonna be nearly as good. Misses. Damn right, I am. Takes a second attack, this attack isn't gonna be nearly as good. Mrs. Yeah, you block it. Somebody missed for once in this fight. Other one takes its first attack

and Mrs. on its first attack. Huge. Hits on its second attack. Love to see that. 24 damage of just piercing damage. Okay. And then go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. 22 passes.

You'll just take half of this. So you take 12 poison damage. Okay. That really fucked me up. That is. I'm not gonna bad day. And then you know what, they're gonna take bonus actions to hide.

I think that bird wing gave me food poisoning. Ha ha ha. So aside from just being really injured, I feel sick. It was a wing, definitely not a bird wing. Moonshan, that's your turn. Okay. If you're bad, you can be good too. You can learn how to be good.

If you're gonna talk, that's gonna kind of compromise your hide, isn't it? True. Yeah, one of them fully talked. You see like one of them has like both their head out a little bit. All right, I was gonna try and do something on both y'all, but since you're hiding, I guess I'm just gonna attack the one that spoke to me I'm gonna I'm gonna pull him out by his ear pull him out from hiding by his ears for an MV at your I'll say if I'm gonna fucking talk while I'm hiding I will allow this

That's fully my bad Trying does a 20 hit yeah, and then I'm gonna leave my bad. I'm gonna try and, does it 20 hit? Yeah. And then I'm gonna smack him for another, smack him for another 18. Jesus, that is hard one's turn. If that one's out there in the open, I'm gonna swing my hand right at it. You gotta be better at hiding.

We need to help people. But trying to help people. 28 hits. Just looking at you with this like weird creepy mask looking up at you. Why? 14 damage. Why do you hurt me? Finish this halfling. I'm still holding them by the ear by the way. Okay, great. Take off the mask. It's a little pinnata thing.

Okay, that's kind of cool. I swing my hammer and just try to nick the mask so it flies off hard And you take a big swing with your hammer you crack into this little half-lenged space You see the mask flies off and you see a Half-ling that looks to be a teenager like green teen age-ish But skin is all like burned like looks like burning scars Skin is all like burned like looks like burning scars Okay, I just give you these and you completely just you for a split second like see like some burning scars But you completely rearrange This half-ling girls face and then she explodes in the ash and is gone

Exposed into ash. I sin like leaves missed form or no, okay No, not like a vampire like she turns into Ash and is gone. Great work killing that grown woman, hard woman. Yes, she was, she was an old hag, I think. Yeah, obviously it looked like she lived a good life. Yeah, we found a killer. You really showed it to that grown. Honestly, I felt more guilty about killing the horse. That is, you still have a second attack.

I'll let you do a perception check if you want to try to find the other one. I'll just search for it. Can we do, can we see if the other one was affected by their sister's death and made a small noise? They are where... She wasn't affected. For the late eight. You can't see Shin. It's dark in this little alley.

That is Boundor's turn. Boundor's just gonna hold an action because he doesn't see what's going on. He's confused as hell. He looks at you, Bev. Oh, you change your up, huh? This is so confusing. It is just over there with Bev and the girl.

Just covering our bases, you know? That is back around a dead eye I'll make a perception check and try to spot this half length sweet. Go ahead That's gonna be a 24 you see you see her head peeking out you see like a gas lamp Shines a little bit on the copper mask in the alley There she is H half hidden by that barrel. Cool, am I hidden from her right now? I would say you're probably not hidden from her.

Okay, I have two follow-up questions. Number one, would you say that, that killing that ogre, that he was a significant foe? Yes. Okay, so I've regained a grit point. And... You are like... Yes, okay, so I've regained a grip point and You are like you are like a problem player Doing shit that I've never even heard of you can't see

I really he's a different kind of shenanigan. It's a lot. It's lawful shenanigan This is what happened when you read the books I'm also like and also like you're like, oh my god. That's my alignment is lawful shenanigans. Like I feel like I don't like you could be making shit up and I would just buy it. This grip point, I'm like I'm just trusting you that it's a thing. Sure, it sounds real.

I love it. Everyone at home you can't see but Brennan does have an abacus in front of him. It's so close to what you actually brought today, which is an old-timey accountants cat calculator. It is a Casio Electronics solar powered calculator and it helps me with my math I'll make a bonus action stealth to try to get try to get the drop Just see what you do here

That's the second that one that this has rolled for me This die is retire Step on Valnor's foot and his gun goes off. I look over at him. Did I get the half-lay? So yeah, knowing that my cover is blown, who had the copper mask or was near it? Was that Bev or?

I went to Blue and I went on there. I go, Hoss, lift the mask. What? Lift the mask up. I lift the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up.

I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask up. I'm going to rip the mask. I'm going to if the other person's not in combat, he does get sneak attack on it. Eat. I believe you.

Ha ha ha. This is, I mean, this is some crit grit, y'all. Oh yeah. I love crit grit. Look at all these crit. Crit and grits. He's got so many crit tricks. Ha ha ha ha.

Mouchai, how come you don't have these crit tricks? All right, young and me. We don't need to, we don't need to, you know, compare people and make people feel bad. That's true. Cool. So this is a dead eye shot. I had advantage on this attack roll. Okay. Seven plus 12 is 19. That hits. And then that is 16 points of damage.

Sweet. This little lady is very shocked to be shot. Could you not call our foes a little lady? Why? I'm a little lady is very shocked to be shot. Could you not call our foes a lady? That's what I call my dad. I'm a little lady. Little doll. Did I ask the hard ones to lift the mask out? Because he takes the trick shot and hits it,

shoots the mask and hard ones hands to ricochet around the corner she's hiding. Oh, no. Yeah. Hell yes. Oh my god. You didn't tell me you were gonna shoot at it. Nice.

Sounds like steel drums. Love it. That is Bev's turn. Okay. Bev marvels at this guncata. Equilibrium style. Did that bullet just curve? The secret of the guncata.

Yeah, I tell, I asked Ballonore to keep an eye on this girl who's chained up, okay, and I'm going to sprint over to, I guess, now where I know the Halfling girl is, sweet. Um, and I'm just gonna try and, yeah, slash out her. Sweet, go ahead. Cool. The tables have turned. A win for the vampires. How unfortunate.

We've got to take these masks, right, so that we could go to some sort of a dusk goddesses. Yep, this is, see? And we thought, if we knew we were gonna go shopping. Ah, okay, 19. 19 hits. Cool. Let me know if she starts getting down to like dangerous levels,

cause I would probably try to like do non-leafle. Okay, this is gonna be, that's 13 damage on the first hit. Sweet. I have no magic lab, so I'm just gonna slap her with my sword. Great, 20. That hits. That's 13 damage.

Nice. She's starting to look pretty messed up. Okay, cool. The Duskmother gives me strength. Uh-huh. Are you religious? Are you a good boy? I, yes, but I think that we have a very different seem like a good boy. We have a very different idea of what a good boy is. She is going to, you know what? She's gonna take a disengage and then hide again. So she has hidden somewhere in the alley. Moons is your turn mother fucker. Why do I always get them after they hide? Um, I guess I'm on a cast very fire to try and find her

Okay, um, yeah, I mean she lights up. She's like scramble up trying to climb up one of the houses Then I oh wait, that's an action. So, yep, all right, y'all have had her. And then I spores her. Oh, sweet. It's over here. Okay, so you run up, get your ankle spores her. Spores her.

And I say, I found her. Why, why are you doing this? That is hard one's turn. Ah, my turn to killer. Hard one? Hard one, I got an old beat up crone for you. 26 hits. I guess I'll try to do non-lethal for my boy, Bev. Gang, these are those R words I was talking about before.

All this damage is non-lethal. Oh. Ah, so what you're saying that even if we kill them, they're not actually dead, words I was talking about before all this damage is non-leaf. Oh. Ah. So what you're saying that even if we kill them they're not actually dead they're just gonna reappear somewhere else. Oh. That fellow lying down in the middle of the row with all the bullets in his back. Me and him had that time go about a half a dozen times.

Okay. Oh, so this is just an exercise of futility. Part one, part of this is a bad town. Do you guys not get some information from them? Gotcha. So that's 13 damage to kill the teenager. Yep. Hey, go mayo nuts, bud.

Mary hurt but still alive. Cool, I'll take my second attack, swaying the hammer. Motherfuckers. 19 hits. You do do know you guys know Revenant stuff that they take like 24 hours to come back so killing one isn't a Yeah, but still like using up spells and one night 15 damage hard one finish her yes I face palm moonshine out of my way Just kidding

Thanks moonshine high five high five moonshine and swing my hammer at this girl's face. Sweet, once again knock the mask off. See all these burn scars and she turns to dust. You see like a little smile. We'll be back. Oh, that was creepy. You saw that, right? Yeah, I did see that.

Huh. Yeah, they've got an aesthetic. I'll give them that. All right, let's go retreat somewhere where we're not dealing with folks. So you see this girl, this girl's all chained up and she's like, would you fucking let me go? Who's side of you on?

Show me your teeth. She smiles, she's got regular teeth. I can respect your canines. I'll go ahead and keep you up. I actually want to open a little wound on me and I put the blood in front of her. There you go. You see she goes,

oh yeah, I'm so fucking thirsty for that. That looks fucking so delicious. I prick myself. You see that she leans forward and starts trying to suck down moonshine's blood. Are you pretending to be a vampire for some reason? I'm not fucking pretending. They're gonna turn me. Oh my lord, you wanna be turned?

You're some, for now, you wanna be turned me? They're fucking sexy and cool as hell. Oh, you're thinking of like Twilight, I fucking love blood, okay? You, oh, this is so sad. It's fucking delicious. I do it. Fine, I'll drink your blood drink the blood give me your fucking boy, right here drinks him on my nasty boy blood Starts just like gagging it down See you hey Sandy come on. Hey, I fell it. She's saying. What the hell are you doing out here? You know, you know

I'm going up Fucking mortals fucking drink for free. I'm going up to the red Five then then remnants were gonna give you a hard time They found out that you gonna be flirting with them vampires up in the Ruby thing. Yeah, they were fucking gonna bring me home fucking dickheads. All right look just We're gonna lift you out of your ties here. You know that those vampires. I'm gonna turn you to go kill your ass, right? You won't be walking around like Sammy baking ass glass eyes That's not what they that that's not what we're talking about. It's not what Paul's gonna say. He thought it was the funniest thing

he'd ever seen in his entire goddamn life. You don't want to, you don't want to look for it. You seem bound or stifles a laughter. Sorry, I was thinking about it. It's funny, it's kind of funny the way I said it. That's right. It's definitely funny. Can I see the hat on the possum?

I slapped the wipple on pop up. It's just fucking funny. Yeah, but you're not dying laughing. Yeah, explain to the joke to me. What's funny fucking funny. Yeah, but you're not dying laughing. Yeah. Explain to the joke to me. What's funny about it? He's got a little hat on. What's surprising about comedy requires a subversion

of expectation. I didn't expect to see a wimple on a possum today. I think dead at, you know, they're not around possum. Like we are all the time. So like we've seen a possum and just about every half possible can. Yeah, pop up looks like insulted. Man. Also, did our humor is kind of changed since you've been, you know, like, on Bahumia.

And it's kind of like an evolutionary thing. Like mostly humor now is like teen's dancing with music behind it. It's funny about that. Why is that? No, it's funny. They're like, they're like lip syncing while it's happening. Like, no, it's humor isn't evolving our form. It's fucking cool and vampires are cool.

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Yeah, Vampire is okay. What are we going to do with this? Look, that's what it used to be like. They used to suck all your blood and turn you into stupid shell, but there's fucking cool vampires now. You just hang out at the bar. You give them a little bit of your blood and they let you fucking drink for free. It's fucking sick. It rules. There's an open kega ale in there. You drink for free. I don't want any that stinky ass ale. So sad. She barely wants to, she wants to hang out with vampires.

That's part of the thing. Tire back up again. I love blood. I love blood. She's tired. What's up here? What's going on? What do we do with this young and?

I'm gonna give you three guesses what I'm gonna say. First guess, we gotta let her go make her own choices. Nope, not any of them. Okay, second choice, second guess, rather. We got to use her as bait in the vampire bar. Nope, that one. Oh, okay. No, no, no.

Third one, we got to bring her back to her parents. No, and that's going to be over three. Oh, what happens if I get all my guesses wrong? Well, then I just tell you. Okay, wonderful. So what so what I was gonna say and I wasn't even gonna propose a plan at all But I was just what I was planning to say in response to your query. Uh-huh was this Town is bad. It's town sucks. Bamfires are awesome You punched just this teeny-strural? You would venture?

I just don't know over my shoulder. Yeah, you knock her the fuck out right away. I'm not even gonna make your roll for it. Throw no over my shoulder. I did. I also killed two teenagers today. I didn't kill her, I just knocked her out. First of all, that's the first thing I'll talk about

is I ain't nobody here killed no teenager and I didn't kill that over. All through it. Let's get back to my house I don't all explain. Yeah, that's probably what we should bring in this Concuss team with us Moonshine if you want you want to use you think just let her go let her become a vampire I understand that it's bad for her to go to the ruby fin. It's also bad to leave her in the middle of the street

It's also bad to bring her to her home everything's bad everything's bad for her to go to the Ruby fan. It's also bad to leave her in the middle of the street. It's also bad to bring her to her home. Everything's bad. Everything's bad. All right, then, I guess I'm just gonna keep carrying her over and knocking her out. Let's do something. Well, how about this?

Why don't you drop her off with Sammy in the fat month because I'm- I don't trust Sammy with that. Well, let me put her this way. I'm an adult man who lives by myself in an evil town and I don't wanna concuss teenager girl being brought into my house. Sure.

Maybe if she hangs out with Sammy, she'll be scared straight and not wanting to get sucked by a vampire. I honestly think that's the best option. All right, and you trust Sammy? I don't think. He didn't have the trust in me. I don't think since in comedy.

I don't know about the other two little, the peasants in that bar. They were, they were concerned about me. Okay, I'm gonna go look for the woman in the hat. Lady Wimple. Go ahead and roll me a pure luck check moonshine to see if they stayed in the bar. I'm going to say ten or higher they're still there.

Uh, three. Three. Um, you rush into the bar. So they're not the bar, but they were outside the bar. We're ready. Lady Wimple! Lady Wimple! Uh, you see it is just the two shells in there right now.

Okay, I'm just gonna keep carrying her over my shoulder. Okay. And what are you gonna do? I still have time to save place for her. Dead eye looks over, it goes. I am, I need to be real clear. Okay. I understand that you and I both know that you're a good person.

You struck that young girl across the back of the head. It matches on conscious on your shoulder. This is by any legal standard kidnapping. person. You struck that young girl across the back of the head and now she's unconscious on your shoulder. This is by any legal standard kidnapping. You're right. You know what? We let the youngins make their own mistakes and learn from that. I'm being at some sort of like controlling adult. The same right. I guess. Okay. I deposit her in Sammy's care. I give him another piece of fur from Paw Paw. And I say, here, this is for making sure this young lady gets into safe hands.

Did I, is there rooms here at this time? He's got a house. I got it. I just, I mean, if we wanted to like put her somewhere safe so she could like lay down and maybe chill out there, there are rooms there. Yeah. There's a bed or something.

I took another hair from Paul and I say, here's two hairs. She should be able to stay here for a year. Look at you, dad seriously. She can have the apartment. Okay, yeah. So these will be the things. I'll sleep in the kitchen.

Fair enough. Good, good, good. You're a good man, Sam. Great. Just make sure she gets like a're a good man, Sam. Great. Just make sure she gets like a coffee when she wakes up and, you know, right on, right on. Yeah. Great.

New landlord. Tries to shake hands with the unconscious woman. All right. That's, hey, why did we get, we put Sammy in her care. You guys, you guys start to walk up the stairs to like the apartment above the, above the bar here. Foot goes through some like rotted old floorboards. You think Sammy maybe has just been sleeping in the kitchen and forgot and nobody's been

up here for a long time. But yeah, there's a really old apartment up here. It's not tasteful. Decorated at all. Full of fucking cobwebs and stuff. Alright, I want a pen of real quick note. Whoops, nope, I can't. I tell pop out a pen of real quick note.

Ring, ring, ring, ring. And just say, pop out, I'm just going to do a little dictation. Hello, Sandy. I'm very sorry that I knocked you out. However, I just believe that you have more in your future than being a vampire. Understand, they seem sexy now. But, you know, it's a dangerous path and I wish you would think it through. I'm gonna roll a D100 to see what percentage of that pop-up was able to do.

Pop-up got a full 37% of that. It's not bad. Okay. I don't know. I assume you got 100%. It's confused. We'd have a kindergarten reading not bad. Okay. I don't know. I assume you got 100%. We'd have a kindergarten reading level now. Okay. I slipped the version that I wrote at the same time on the pillow. And moonshine, it looks like Papa just did a really good job and has an amazing

penmanship. Papa, you are just an asset to this team. I was pretty dead. He's a brilliant legal mind. Oh my god. That, that possum, I mean, he has the bearing of a scour. I know, I know. This is weighing on Bevapet. You should read his prose. I don't think the creek would be much anything if we didn't have the brilliance and wit of the possums all the time. They truly are what make us who we are.

No creatures. Noble. Noble. All right. Shall we go back to your place? Yeah. Let's get on the old dusty and I'll bring you back to my dwelling place. Okay. So that I takes you to his house. It's this two level colonial style house with pillars and tall doors and windows. Still in this little downtown peasant area. There are gas lamps on the front porch and a balcony on the second level. However, this place has seen better days. The windows are boarded up. The paint has completely chipped away. It leans slightly to one side.

It looks like the foundation has given out a little bit. It's place is beautiful. I think it's great. Well done. That's all for kind of you. Mika say su casa. We kind of get all y'all anything to anything to drink or whatever you got lying around. Well I have dozens and dozens and dozens of bottles of whiskey. All of them have been through my esophagus and the top of what used to be my stomach a couple of times, but. Okay, so you would say that they're kind of like, did I aged?

That's right, they're sort of, they're very smoky. Oh, so I'll pour you all a couple of fingers and you have your shells a little drink. Yeah, yeah. That's the honor to drink a whiskey that was inside you. You guys get inside Dead Eye House and it's a little bit like Bastions Cave

where it's somebody that's essentially collecting garbage to decorate their house. You know what I mean? Where it's like- I respect that aesthetic. Yeah, it's like this match Fabrics and like different, like clearly I think Dead Eye just goes around the houses of shells

and just like, I'm gonna borrow this and just like we'll grab a couch and just bring it to his house. So it's all this different stuff. And then yeah, you are probably given alcohol every once in a while or like the situation with Sammy and you just bring it home and you just get to keep it cause it just keeps going through you. Yeah, I think there's a lot of clues also in this house

of a certain degree of madness. Like, there's a board that's riddled with holes from just throwing a knife for a weak straight of knife, knife, knife, knife. I choose to see it all as genius though, that's how I interpret it. And I'm like, damn, my jeans are so vibrant. Dead eye, I love this wall of just mysterious runes.

Yeah, well, you know, I, there was a year, a little while back, might have been a year, might have been a decade, I can't really remember. But, you know, I thought maybe it's, maybe my attachment to my own identity is what's keeping me from being able to travel through the mist. So I stripped down and I beat myself

into unconsciousness as close as I could get to try to forget who I was and just ran screaming through the mist. When I came back here, whoever I had become left these markings on the wall and then, well I think they're the red eye. I talk his whiskey off. I'm gonna say, you gotta come renovate my stump.

Cause I would love some wallpaper like these crazy ruins. Yeah, this stuff is very strong by the way. You you mentioned you knew this woman Lydia yeah, I met her at a party on board this airship. We were in smugglers bounty. I think Oh, yeah, I blew a rail off this wear bears ass. We were doing some arcane It was why I mean arcane was a lot more prevalent back then in those days. There was I was bored at the wrong time Well shit you must have been on the SS stormborn SS stormborn with my uncle come there Yeah, he fucking lost a bet we shaved a line in his ass and we blew rails of arcane off it

God damn best they couldn't party when we were hanging out with them. Oh man. Well, you know, maybe they can We got a we got to go find out well I think you know We're in a we're in a darker time now. Maybe we were back in the day back in the day I tell you it was wild man riding around airships going out shootouts in the desert I remember up there in the middle of a blizzard and frosts wind, taking off a big old ice drink. Ha!

Sorry? Just laughs a little too hard. Oh, you see what? Oh, he's trying to cry, but nothing's coming out, oh no. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Would you say that? I mean, your memories, they just sound so fun and carefree

Would you say that the tip and point and turning it in a more somber direction was the Deeds of a lawn is the alla and Ulfgar I I actually am unfamiliar. I know a lot of sunshine. I'm familiar with the other two names. You just said Who who's a I know Alonist, I actually am familiar with the other two names you just said. My, oh my. Who's the, the friends of yours? They were a team of adventurers that went after Ilsaid. You have one friend of ours and one enemy of ours.

Yeah, one acquaintance of ours, I would say. One acquaintance, yeah. Well, Ulfkars, my buddy, we're close. Well, when I knew Alonist, she, she weren't no adventurer. I mean, she was an adventurer, but she wasn't running around with a party or anything like that. This is back in her Esri days?

Yeah, back when she was working with Duttle. Gotcha, okay. Did you work with him? Not specifically, I don't have much in the way to offer someone who's a man of science, but I swung by there, we were on our way through Esri, we had a bounty, I think we collected some scumbags that were out near of that Watchman's tower or something, we were bringing them in to collect the price on their heads from some people

in the bubbles, merchants or something like that. So checks. But I did know Lydia and I did know alliance. I mean, I doubt that they've remembered me too well. I met them casually through partying and, you know, there were a couple of times I think I was working as security on another airship sometime. We got tangled up together, but. They knew how to party, huh? Hell yeah. I knew how to party.

Our long come on, would you have expected anything like us? No, no, just good to hear, is all. Yeah. It's just good to hear. You all right there, friend? Oh yeah. See, is all. Yeah. It's just good to hear. You alright there friend? Oh yeah.

See those up just a little too truck and hearing about his parents partying. Everybody as you're having this talk and sitting around, Dead Eye's a little makeshift living room, everyone go ahead and give me a perception checks. Oh no. Oh.

Oh, 19. 26. 15. 14. Dead Eye, Moon Shine and Beverly. See a raven flutter in and kind of perch on where like the wood is not totally covering the window. And you see it, uh'm sorry, perched there. Yeah, is it cold that I met?

Langston's... I'm going to do a nature check. It would be very difficult for you to tell one raven from another. I am a druid, I'm familiar with animal folk. I also feel like Langston would put like a little bandana or like an ankle on their bird. 10.

10? How you can't tell, it just looks like some kind of raven or something. You know what? You feel about that ra Raven being in here. Is this a friend that visits you sometime or is this an enemy? It's probably one of those vampires cool last birds. Oh god damn their birds are cool. It's pretty cool bird. I also have a bird. I'll get right down to it because I mean I could swap stories about your folks till the cows come home And I hope we have time to do that I would love to do that in a realm that didn't constantly leech the life out of me Getting out of Grimm Hawk is gonna be a hard thing to do now

As I was saying before now that we have a little bit more privacy Is there open air between me and the, where the Raven is right now? Yeah, you are in this like living room. This Raven just like perched up. We've also got reports for us. So we can take this conversation to the reports for us. But also, is this Raven spying on us?

So you would know this Raven as, it's like, you know Langston is just like one of these lackey guys, like some kind of messenger bird or something. Gotcha. Um, uh, dead eye will, uh, go over to the window to see if it has like a message for this basically. Okay. Yeah. Um, dead eye you walk over to the window and you see that there is indeed a little rolled up piece of paper, uh, in its talent. talent. Take it out and read it. Let me pass you a note. Cool. Ooh. Dead I will move the conversation

to the report support, though. That's right. And he'll say, look, there's a couple of forces that work in this town. The vampires you've already run a foul of. Now there, don't get me wrong. Peace is an absolute dog shit. Other people that are engaged in this kind of turf war with them are these

Revenants and they call themselves the Knights of Penance Reason I was a little cagey about that woman in the Wimple is church folk in these parts ain't to be trusted now What I would say is this. There's not too much in the way of a side to put yourself on here. You can side with the vampires. You can side with the revenants. You can side with the townsfolk.

But as you've seen, the townsfolk that ain't got damn shells already are so scared they might as well be and the only ones brave enough to go out at night are going off and trying to fuck skaters. The vampires on the other hand, look, you find folks are welcome to take whatever pick you want. I will say this after a long life of adventuring. Between a scumbag who's being motivated by base instinct and a scumbag being motivated by a cause they will do everything to ensure. I'll take the vice ridden scumbag working on their instincts. Vampires are a lot easier to manipulate. There's one thing they want and it's flowing through your veins. These revenants all I know is that they will stop at nothing. They believe that their cause

is righteous and I don't know what your experiences in Bohumi have been but when people start talking about being on the side of justice I get a little cagey. Yeah, that would be going on with chosen. We got some we got some bad quote-unquote righteous warriors up there right now. If the bad guys are addicted to the good guys. Yeah, that's the worst guys. So I Got a little note from a friend here. There is a I'm sure you've heard. Oh, you do have a friend then I say friend because Piece of absolute garbage who I hate with every fiber of my dead body doesn't have a same damn ring to it. So There is a ball uptown you might have heard when we were talking to Sandy called the red fan.

This is a place where sort of playboy and play girl vampires want to go, you know, strut their stuff and say, oh, I'm so sexual. I'm so sensual and it's like your body is ice cold. What's even going on with your genitals? It sounds stupid. Yeah, that does kind of bring up some questions. I'll be curious about answering. How you doing there, Halsey?

All right. It's been a while since I've been. Yeah. Does kind of bring up some questions I Be curious how you doing there haunts you are It's been a while since I yeah, listen to the lab. Here's the thing I would fuck a vampire if that's what we're No, come on guys. We gotta raise the bar. Okay, but I'm saying for the diplomatic mission I would just I understand look I don't volunteer You're all just like dancing around on poles, like not wearing a lot of clothes and whatnot, they're, you know, they're in big red velvet plushy kind of things and they're squirming and they're hissing

and they're, you know, we should go now. I agree. I agree. I'm telling you. 10 steps ahead of you, Harbond. Harbond, look, right, like you're a closet looking for a jacket. I can't, Harbong. Harbong, look, I'm rightfully through your closet looking for a jacket. I can't swear. Harbong, Harbong, what is it?

Sexuality is about expressing a kinship. The most powerful love making comes from a place of empathy and connection. Something that's inherently predatory, it can't possibly satisfy you on that physical level. I do agree. I absolutely agree with that data. However, I do think they're sort of like a cheap trashy knockoff love making. That's kind of fun too. Yeah, and you did a rail off of my bare friends ass and smugglers bounty. You had your party life. Oh sure.

I mean, listen, there were a couple of years there where I was fucking just a feel, you know, and I understand. Sure. But at the end of the day now that I've been here and I can't really feel anything anymore, I'll tell you what I miss the most. Sweet breeze, off the creek, and somebody who understands what you've been through.

Can I borrow this pinstrap best? I'm that's where we'll land our session. A perfect ending lockout. Beautiful. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word.

That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word.

That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word. into a creepy sex party, but we're not necessarily against them. I'm gonna be wearing so much velvet.

Thanks guys for listening. You can hear more of us chatting talking over on the short rest. Going over to patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, D-P-O-D, don't sing yet. We got some stuff to plug. What Brennan, why don't you kick us off? Yeah. Oh boy, you guys can head on over to check out Dimension 20.

That's the actual play D&D show. Video show that I do with Emily and Murph, and we have some side quests with some guest guests, and Shavan, who's Apple Scrumper, is on it as well. And that's over on dropout.tv. There's also some free episodes that can be around YouTube. Look up to mention 20, fantasy high.

And we got a new season with Emily and Merff that we all know about coming out this summer that we can't talk about yet. And you can also check out the webcomic strong from www.Protagonist.com and then see videos and sketches and stuff that I do in CollegeHimmer. Yeah. Yeah.

Sweet. Then you can check out me in Emily's sketch shows, called Hot Date. It's on Netflix. You can also get our book. Hey, you up. How to turn your booty call into your emergency contact, available on Amazon and on Audible.

Called, well, what do you got? Ooh, the second season of Cartoon Hell is out now. We have a lot of fun guest stars on there. I think one that we did with Lisa Hannowalt just dropped recently. And it is very funny. She plays a character called the vacation lizard. And that's really all you need to know. Sign up.dropout.tv slash nad pod.

Nice. Oh, hey, everyone, before we go, I went to the PO box. 1920 Hillers Avenue number 222, Los Feliz, California 90027. And there were so many gifts there. A bounty awaited us. Thank you. I'm just gonna give a quick shout out to everyone

that sent us stuff because it was a truly just, an embarrassment of riches there. It was crickness. It was crickness. It really was. It really was. Ariana M sent us a bunch of mushroom dolls that they made themselves.

You better believe they're on the top shelf. Yeah, top shelf toadio material. They're all based on our characters, but as mushrooms, as little like shubber dolls, it's so cute. They're beautiful. Robert L sent some custom t-shirts from a line in episode 56 that I believe hard one says. So now we have two t-shirts that say,

who needs a girlfriend? I smell bacon. Yummy. So like, I feel like, you know, if any of us has another bachelor party, you can just call it a concert. Ooh. Yeah.

I'll go with our chicken shorts. Yeah. Yeah. Alan Morris sent us an amazing print that they did. It's, if you go to their Instagram or Alan Morris or dot com, you can see it. It's just like a beautiful oil painting of the band of booze.

It's so fucking cool. Yeah. It's really cool. Mitch sent us some wooden crests that they carved, which are super amazing. They've got our sigils on them and my face. And you had these. I also asked we were admiring them.

I went over to Calwell and I was like, how does this feel? Because they're kind of based off of art that you did Calwell and I was like, that shit's cool. And you were very, very excited about it. It's transcendental and intimidating. Thanks for asking. Traylee the cray-fay, sent us notes and drawings

from her daughter, Charlie, and they were very sweet and cute. So, we thank you, Traylee, and thank you, Charlie. Thank you for the Earl Pint Pal. Clarissa M. sent us a monkey painting. Oh my goodness, it is so stunning. It's like a monkey and a cat with a frog in the foreground. And they didn't really send us that, right? It feels like that went directly to one person.

Technically it is for me and I'm already looking at really awesome frames for it. Technically it's for Emily slash moonshine, but I think we can all enjoy its nefarious energy. I mean, it's gonna get hung in our living room next to my other medieval monkey painting. Good. So, you'll be admiring it. Right, and yeah. If I am ever at your house after midnight, the monkey will come out of the painting and trying to strangle me.

Just good to know. No, it will come to life, but the monkey will just play with the kit. Exactly. You're actual cats. Avery G sent us a very nice note on some cool mushroom stationery. Yes, on which the stationery is so beautiful, I'm going to get that framed as well. You're right there first. My walls are looking fine.

Yep, so many haunted paintings and framed mushrooms on Emily's wall. Whitney sent us a psychedelic moose card and a cat magnet that says there is no truth. It's a beautiful magnet. Awesome. We're at under bridge. Hell yeah. There is no truth. This cat knows. Nicholas H invited us to their college graduation. It's a UNC Wilmington. Congratulations Nicholas. Nice. Congratulations, Nicholas. Congratulations. Wait, you're ready to end of the world. Do you need a job?

Because we're not hiring, but I'm sure someone is. You could put me as a reference. Put me as a reference. Yeah, put Napa that Gmail. Alex from Germany. Oh, Alex sent a moonshine doll that they gave. It is stunning. It's the perfect level of like beautiful and creepy. The moonshine doll is a little big for our table and I have

to like put it on my cards but I brought in the papa. The papa figurine is looking up at you at all times. Yeah, and I mean, Emily was just petting it throughout. I pet it. I give it chiny scratches. I scourch that chin. I think I heard it say thank you at one point. Me, me, me, me. Brian H. Sennas a nice note and some stickers.

There's a bunch of cool stickers that are out for grabs in there. I'm claiming the Gundam one by the way. Call off from the Gundam one. So just like hands off my Gundam Carry F sent us a nice note and a little business card that said don't panic It's a Douglas Adams reference, which I thought was very yeah, so thank you Ray Fee B sent us another nice note and some drawings of the characters that they did Hell yeah, they're really cute. Thank you so much, Rayfee. I hope I'm saying that name correctly.

Emily and Brock sent us a safe the date to their wedding. Sorry, it conflicts with Nicholas H's college graduation. So we got to split up. We're going to have to roll real quick. One through 10, we go to the college graduation. 11 through 20, we go to the wedding. Shout out to the Duke. We don't let Emily shout out to the college graduation. Let them do 20. We go to the wedding. Shout out to the do crew. Let them do.

Shout out to the do crew. You know what, Balnor will be there. For sure. Get your two to Sandy's on deck. Oh yeah. Tim C. sent us some amazing dice boxes. You can check out staff and branch on Instagram. That is Tim's company, I believe.

Oh, I got a purple heart walnut one. And I've got the red maple maybe. I used it in this episode that we just recorded. Yeah. And it was great. This is my new DS box for sure. I picked one with like a cool gray stripe through it because I'm in a gray night now. I'm very mysterious in a ethereal.

And finally, Chris H sent us a Pittsburgh pitch dock that they put together. We actually talked about it. We read through it on the short rest. It was very convincing. Yeah, well, I mean, we're gonna go to Pittsburgh. Yeah. It worked. So congratulations Chris H. And thank

you all so much for sending us stuff. 1920 Hill, her stav a new number 222, Los Release, California, 90027 is our PO box. Thanks so much. That's gonna do it for us. Jake, what do you got? You know what, I'm gonna plug my mother's business this week.

Wow, I love that. JakeSmom's cookies.com. She sells cookies online. She'll bake them and mail them to you. JakeSmom, not a revenant. Right, I don't know mom. I'm gonna plug my mom's pottery. Oh yeah, Joanne Axford ceramics.

Is that the shape? I don't know. Did you better have a bite of the toilet? I think she does, but if you Google Joanne Axford, got a ceramics, you'll see a lot of her botanical improvisations. You can check out my mom's graphic novel Star Struck at Star Struck.

If you Google Elaine Lee plus Starstruck? You can check out my mom. She's a graphic novel writer, and you can take that out as well. This is so sweet. We talk about dads all the time on the podcast. My parents have regular jobs. I have nothing to plug for them.

I'll put my dad's regular job. He's a tax lawyer and new haven. If you need any help, my stepfather is a great Highland bagpiper. He's available for weddings and funerals and other events in the upstate New York area. Can you go play our show? Absolutely. Richmond Johnston online.

We're gonna do a NAD pod Highland game. So we're gonna get you a step on the paper toss. A sweet thank you so much for listening. You can follow us on Twitter at Teach Murf is me at Called These Coggle, at the Extra Demily, at J. Kerwitz's Jake Brennan, what's your Twitter? At Brennan LN, B-R-E, and NAN, LN. Nice. Tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. ADDPOD. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. We got everybody this week. Starting with Brad D, the only

Pebble Pot that isn't Craven. On the upside, always gets the last slice of pizza just by claiming it's haunted. J-Lomus 72, aka Steelbreaker, Hard One's Jim Spiration, taught Hard One the ancient sorcerers magic of macros. Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, really helpful with an unwieldy topiary but tragic and a butterfly garden. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf in edge, has since gone on to do a series of screen test and a warhol style, but didn't

ask hard one to participate. Oof, Tom P. Father of the realm and serenader of sleeping babies. Tom P. could have put hard one into such a deep sleep. It took him to Shadowfell, but alas, it would have conflicted with the sleep master's code. Tom P. babies, love ya, Bohemia loves ya, and you'll always have a place at Melora, Polora, and Morden's bedside.

We love you, Tom P. I love you, Sammy. Hello, bless you. Spencer Caskrew, patron elder of libations, Elle maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia like makes a mean prison wine inspired by all the journalists and intellectuals Theala has imprisoned.

Grapen has the AK, the stranger, the silver dragon-born, eldritch knight and ex-owner of the Badgers pint in, recently polymorphed into a Badger, specifically one that looks eerily like the Badger on their previous ensign. Ominus, Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohumia. There aren't enough wish-stones in the world to find a timeline where Dan doesn't have a luscious beard. Scott D, an Orc dork.

Yes, Scott lives in a world of war and magic, but prefers the subtle sorcery of accounting. Hermes W, the Bat King. Hermes Place, Hermes's palace is a massive marble-gilded attic. Spartus, straight up a bound-nourced dad made bound-nourced first tuna sandwich because hell yeah, he wasn't afraid to be a dad and do the cooking. Awesome, love to hear it. Adam R. the R-rated assassin turned in C-17 assassin, although their sister just had a kid. So now Adam R is thinking about doing a couple PG killings for the kiddos. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Danielle, is so dastardly that she doesn't even use an umbrella

when it rains blood in Shadowfell. Dastardly. QC-A-K-A, holder of Frostback MVP of the Giant Wars, crewed on the SS Stormborn, and fought alongside Elias and Red also did mushrooms with Jolene the Green. Nice. Daniel, you A.K. Maldives for the many faced magicians, spends a fortune on sheet masks, but it's worth it for the grams.

Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, used to feel pressure every year to come up with the song of the summer till they found out about the Feywild and baby its eternal summer Jeffrey asked Lord of the Fjord born of the sword and notoriously never bored ballet recital DMV Catholic wedding ceremony with a full mass in it this dude can make anything a good time It's a good pal to have cutterter W, a high elf, dandy turned quick, bark attack. Just got into the tiny home trend and has been making some adorable homes out of innocent saplings.

John S.A.G. Shubbert, the mushroom. Little does anyone know Shubbert has a dark side. Their roots reach all the way down to Shadowfell and their mom just got remarried so they're feeling pretty emo. Ryan M, hard ones ones ram who did die No, totally not in vain the know that killed them was kind of a foodie So they whipped right up with some noodles for a delicious ramen nice pond birth bullshit

I'm gonna see a friendly know who barely has any bloodlust at all currently planning a trip to a lively island with Their best friend to get their bloodlust groove back Iland with their best friend to get their bloodlust groove back. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Monnet Inn, working on a dead-eye-themed cocktail called the Dead Rye, which is Rye Whiskey garnished with a grenadine marinated pearl, onion to look like a bloodshot eye. Andrew M opened up the first hot topic in Shadowfell and is totally going to clean up. Victor T, Boundore's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Always calls his dad to remind him to use his action surge.

But unfortunately, Balnor doesn't have service. Could have used you. Just in eye, one of the watchman sentient eyes who managed to escape the battle against the boobs as revenge is planning on spoiling Game of Thrones for everyone. Ashole, Jacob C is the personal trainer who got Ulfgar Jack's on a strict diet of Thrones for everyone. Ashole. Jacob C. is the personal trainer who got Ulfgar jacked on a strict diet of bugbear, meat, and ale.

Elena M. Theala's religion teacher in high school who is just gonna kinda quietly retire. Sounds like a plan. Nick Pucks, the amazing code master who programmed our website. Also the inspiration for the movie hackers. Emily is a huge fan. I read that before. Earl and Kathleen L. Also the inspiration for the movie hackers. Emily is a huge fan. Really?

I read that before. Earl and Kathleen L. Two married dwargers who just celebrated their anniversary by splitting a giant rat, congrats. Jive G, the coolest kid at the doorfinage, still super sad on the inside though, broken our legs. The jaw-strich, the jock-ostreds,

secretly a bug-bearing disguise and just dominating the other ostrroch is at sports. Damial R. Ram Daniels evil twin. Therian off a cliff and into some hyenas, Opalion King style. That's Nicholas R. aka St. Crickles has unfortunately missed the last three crick misses in a row after huffing way too much crick water. Come on Nicholas, you have a job. That's way more fun. Jennifer V has a V that is even more vicious than Cobb's. Cobb is taken to only consuming boiled carrots and water to catch up. Destin C, a waiter on Polores cruise ship

in heaven, was a good enough person to make it to heaven, but still needs to work off a few sins. Gotta get there somehow. Devon B, the bodega lord. Devin's hands, legs, feet, and head are only a polona, but their heart pure black forest ham. Michael L, the only person who can get the band of boobs out of Shadowfell, but unfortunately is off fucking a vampire. Jellis. Sim H, Alonus' dealer, has indirectly killed more than a few people with their potent arcane,

but prefers not to think about it. Sergio Salazar Salamon Sakurai estes Sekwani, seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio is always being asked the meaning behind their sweet snake patterns, but the truth is, Sergio just thinks they look rad. You're not alone. Trale, the cray-fe, who eats way. Protein that is. Traylee is an insanely buffaladrin who wants beat up Queen Ezra so bad.

She left the Sealie court. Aaron G, master of the banishment spell. Aaron once banished the cheese off of hard one sliders as a joke and escalated into a fist fight. Dory S, a jacked wizard broke up hard one and Aeron G's fight by getting in between them and saying, don't make me cast a spell, bro. Don't make me cast a spell. Alucard, a reverse Dracula, hates the taste of blood, but loves the beach. Baby dog.

The only doctor to ever perform their own C-section. The most controversial part of it is that they don't have their medical license yet. Atomage hung out with Alonist once once but didn't smoke with her because they were doing a 30 day cleanse. Now Alonist isn't hiding and Adam is really kicking themselves. Damn. Colin G, a high-elf dandy who is going to do their damnedest to do a make-over montage with moonshine whenever she gets to Glade Home. Okay! Ryan, hard ones, Ram, enjoying a glow-up ever since hard ones. That's nice.

I wonder who wrote this and the free and the world. They've been eating clean and looking shredded. That's really good to hear. Truly the opposite of dead. Love to see your friends do well. Wow. Big buck. Pregnant elk moonshine's Elk and Baby. When moonshine isn't an elk, her baby survives and all of the milk that's leaked from her utters all across Bohumi.

Richard F a giant merman who was swallowed by a turtle dragon, then reincarnated as a turtle dragon when they were given birth to by the turtle dragon to lead them. Easy to understand, John WG! Introduce the Crick to Opera. The Stubshaped theaters are amazing for acoustics, and it's honestly the best place in the world to hear this glorious art form. Try Mixy, the first ever anger ranger. Who kills with a look instead of an arrow? Love that rhyme, kind of listic at Thulu.

Recently discovered Frank's Red Hot and the human meat they've been eating has never been zestier. Sam L, a half or a gnome who is ugly and adorable all at once, you really don't know whether to hug them or step on them. Dumb R! A La Croix Genossi! Kind of like a water genossi, only they are bubbly and addictive. Josh S. The revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Unlike regular Josh, cyborg Josh is program to not turn on their own kind in a brazen act of cowardice. Blitzfrieg to Meetry, owner of Twarters Big Borgher, now with free refills, but you have to pay for ice! Cuck!

Caleb Storm, a cup of air in Quartz Great Hall, also in charge of the playlist, Quartz has a really huge solo cup that bumps. Nicola C has started every single movie ever made in Bohemia, recently made their directorial debut and was absolutely raked in the glitter on-present. No pun, just panicked. Matt Al-Adorven bodybuilder who is so stout they have to wear two jackets sewn together to cover their broad-ass shoulders. Mike H. A brave knight who smells of sulfur but is not an evil mishmonser. They just have severe gas. Kevin S. A cancun in an open relationship with Hardwan's bird, Kaka, tell him I said

hey. Oh I wonder who brought that. Oh Kaka, didn't realize you were doing so well. I mean, Matthew E. Proud owner of the biggest Crick Water Distillery in Bahumia. They try to recreate the magic from the Crick, but it's just nowhere near as alcoholic. Sam will be a glyph who looks on cannelly like the incredible Hulk.

They're so green, it's cease and distanced worthy. Dilphurgy, author of the hit children's book, Ulf Garcos Punch, and the newest YA romance novel, Munchine and Triss. Woo! The shit is graphic. Hell yeah. Guardian of the Light, Zack H.

Bohumi is only Keyblade Wheelder, just bought a really cool Keyblade holding keychain, a very tasteful carabiner. Mitch D. and enlightened drunken master, Watergenassi named Doc Alpha, and a pinch Doc can drink themselves to feel the buzz. Curtis S. A short skinny human who who was hard ones bunk made at the dwarf anage once walked in on hard one practicing kissing in the mirror and

pretended they didn't notice. Very chill of you brother. Thanks Curtis. Colton B a wimple model. Colton has single-handedly brought wimples back into fashion across all the planes. Jen's Christian tea, the owner of Genselindell.com, and is able to do a dance where their nipples hide their swords. Whoa. Wow. Gage M. a vampire hunter who has perfected the vampire mating call. You basically just say, I want to fuck your butt! I think I'll come running.

T. Avada, Saraggan, and Asimar, Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath but forgot what for. It was either to slay the dread king and free the land from his evil touch or to watch their friends one man show both equally tragic options. Aaron C. A shadow fell pixie who, unlike their fate relatives, believes in strong centralized government with lots of federal aid programs. Also instead of candy, they aid bugs. Oh, you know, I agree with them and I tone at the same time.

Hannah F. Apple scrumper's manager currently negotiating for her to be the spokeswoman for a new line of fruit flavored potions called tart water. Devon T. Epi Wild Goblin who started their own commercial airliner. Oh, each seat comes with free snacks, a pair of complimentary headphones and three parachutes. Montana monarch, a just and wise king whose wicked king, the Kansas Keta pillar is currently plotting to kill them. Watch your back Montana! L&D, the smartest shell in all of Grimhawk. Ellen can almost count to seven and is never once accidentally caught on fire. Wow. Carbrow Chapel Hill FPV, the Baron of Chapel Hill, they feast upon a mountain of cook-out hush puppies every night while plotting how to defeat their greatest foe, the Duke of

Blue Devil. Fook-dook. Chad, hey, the Hume and Spider-Man, unlike Peter Parker, Chad is just a giant spider who wears a human space like a mask, both have dead uncles named Ben though. Reese and S a deadly archer who can use anything as an arrow once killed a man 200 yards away with a single piece of string cheese. TJ M a horny halfling who can reroll both sixes and nine's. Nice. RPKB a defective frost when iron dwarf, a glitch makes RPKB tell civilians hello and have a nice day instead of to fuck off and eat a rat.

So rude. Taylor SAKA trashed the traveler, trashed gains advantage on any attack rolls made with a 10 foot of within 10 feet of a Delta Admiral's Club. Anime intellect the watcher's cousin who uses their multiple eyes to simultaneously watch every anime ever made Much less evil than their cousin, but they do prefer dubs to sub so still not perfect Zolo Dolo the only barred with a dance move named after them the band of boobs are all currently trying to teach Balnor how to do the Zolo Dolo But he keeps messing it up and slipping in tuna Joshua C a dragon who decided to cut out the middleman and just took over an entire bank, they even hoarded the free pens.

Ah! Larissa J, a rogue assassin who can sneak fries off their victims' plate without them even noticing. It goes without saying that Larissa's alignment is chaotic evil. Genevieve F, learned the chill touch can trips so they can eat chocolate without getting it all melty. Doesn't know any other spells, and quite frankly, doesn't need to.

Dylan C.M., the crunch master, Dylan can do over 1,000 crunches in one sitting. Their abs are an infinite fractal that is both beautiful and terrifying to behold. Kelvin noodles the pasta elemental. Kelvin's only weakness is two dogs sharing a bowl of spaghetti and then kissing. They've almost been killed way more times than you might think.

Be money. Balnor's hip hop alter ego. Be sure to check out their new single. I like it when you call me bag pop. And finally, Andrew A, the only vampire that doesn't suck. Literally, Andrew uses a blood-infused lotion to get their fix. And yes, before you ask the lotion,

does have CBD in it? And yes, again, before you ask the B in CBD, does stand for blood. Not a lot of people know that. Enough. Not really. Yeah, what a great one to end on. Thank you guys all so much for listening.

We'll be back next week with another episode. You can head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod to listen to the short rest. We'll catch you guys next week. Bye. That was a hate gun podcast.