Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 64: The Cybin Siblings (The Shadowfell Saga with Brennan Lee Mulligan)

Episode Date: June 6, 2019

The Band of Boobs and Deadeye make their way through Grimhawk Manor and attempt to pick off the Montgomerys one by one. Moonshine resolves to settle her score with Scarlet, Jvelin hates "bloody Draculas," and Beverly goes toe to toe with a sinister foe. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."The Sultan of Stone" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's A Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's Asunder Down Under" by Emily Axford."Drained" by Emily Axford."The Montgomerys" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."Montgomery Manor" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell Sneak" by Emily Axford."Two for Tea" by Emily Axford."The Fat Monk" by Emily Axford."The Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping

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That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamaneeve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Bahumia. Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Harwitz. Jivelyn. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Emily Axford. Moon Shann Sabin, decimator of dolls. And Carl Gold Tanner. Beverly Toe Bowl the fifth, a takula of Dracula's. Nice. Yeah, very good. Yeah, sure. Very good. Sure. And of course, our very special returning guest,

Brennan Lee Mulligan. Dead Eye Sabin, religion resistor who loves his sister. Oh, my God. I weep misty dead eye tears. God's sad vapors, burning sad vapors. And you're going to put that in hell? Come on. We left on quite a cliffhanger last time,

so let's get right into it. Let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys ambushed Beaumont-Gummery at the Red Fan, then holed up in a nearby abandoned home to rest during the night. Dead Eye revealed to Moonshine that he'd had a contentious relationship with Old Cobb who was hesitant to train him During the night, dead eye revealed to moonshine that he'd had a contentious relationship with Old Cobb who was hesitant to train him as a young and dead eye sold his

soul to the dark lord of Shadowfell so that he could aid in the fight against Maribel, causing a rift between him and the Crick Elves. During your talk, you saw Langston and a crew of whites heading downtown and eventually saw smoke coming up from the church. You awoke Bortrum who informed you that the church protected the urns through which the Revenants regenerated. You made your way there and found that the church had been burned down and one of the urns was lost.

You finished your night's sleep, then began your assault on the Montgomery compound. Munchain Misty stepped up to the second floor and helped you all up, then you entered a grim hawk manner through a terrifying little girl's room full of living dolls. You made your way out to the connecting living room and found the girl, Priscilla Montgomery, and her older sister Dolly, surrounded by dozens of living dolls. To make matters worse, Dolly and Priscilla appear to be grafted together and the former wears the ladder like a terrifying skin graft baby Bjorn.

And that's where we are now. You are face to faces with these twisted sisters. And they're like, Do they use sister, mister? They do, they have little beards. Proud of the placement. Very good, very good very yes Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Oh, man

Into it that'll be a net one way to start it off. Oh, no fresh. See me in nine A five can be an 18 all right dead eye with mortal numbers Disgusting. Roll it up 20s. Roll a garbage on these. I mean, I need to get an 18 on that floor. You gotta give me that. I'll give you that.

JV, you are first. You are in this horrifying living room of the Montgomery mansion. Wooden floors, hieroglyphics, written out in blood, candles everywhere, and swarms of living dolls, many living dolls. And this little vampire girl attached to this young vampire woman.

Yes, I find it quite odd, quite unpleasant. I haven't met you before. Oh, I dislike when you talk to me. We're so happy to have you as a guest, come play with us. They are happiness makes me quite sad. And it's going to make me angry. I'm going to go into a rage.

OK. And I'll swing my axe at the little one. OK. You remind me a lot of my friend, hard one. He always goes after the weakest. Sounds like a brave man. I'll do a reckless attack. Okay, woo.

27. That hits. Cool. So you have a reason you're targeting the smaller of us. You are the most creepy. The one that's so to you is a bit more creepy to me. Oh, so J.V. when I went after the doll, you thought that was the right thing to do.

Oh, yes. Okay, good JV when I went after the doll you thought that was the right thing to do. Oh, yes Okay, good good thought that was brave Priorities are weird, but you know his head's in the right place 27 27 damage. Yes, good for you. Oh, yeah, you're a zealot I'm gonna say a zealot are very and so he gets to do extra damage on his first attack look at that fervor Yes, what do you feel zealous for? I feel zealous for killing this little creepy gal In the dusk mother rat son. Yes. Oh, yes

Yes, you have his answer. He said it was for killing my dust. No, my dust mom for my dust shield We're being a shield out here. I'm starting. I'm starting to see dead Dead As Point. I think it's coming from you, JV. Huh? What? It's coming from all of us working together, all right? Okay, I can get behind that. Yeah, it's a 29 to hit. Yeah, super hit.

You don't worship teamwork to the point where teamwork becomes the name of a deity who will punish you. It's another tweed. Sweet. All done to the little gale. You slash into like the skin between the two of them. And you see it rips into the like black dress

that the older girl is wearing. The fabric rips open and there's all this like weird movement of weird like tentacle looking organs and stuff. Okay, scarier than I thought. Just so you know, 11 of that was radiant damage. Ooh, yeah, that's my little zealot. Because I am, so I have a heart on for the dust mother. We don't say it like that, but we do have, yes,

we have a- Oh, sexual outings is an expression of love and appreciation. Okay, alright. I think with this group is rubbing off on me. I'm having a with this group. It's rubbing off on me. I think we all find our quite impressionable. This will make you question your faith in God. Four swarms of dolls are gonna run forward. We need to protect our mommy.

Oh, boy. And hop four swarms of dolls, hop up on JV and start stabbing with little butcher knives. Oh, Malora. That's no good. Malora, don't you all feel like we're too good to be fighting these dolls and yet here we are. First, a swarm hits for seven damage and then go ahead and give me a constitution

saving throw. I have advantage on these in my rage. This is just seeing a seedy little doll swarm in this noble. I'm 10th of Moby's! 23. 23 that passes you only take half of this poison damage. Down at the crib we don't do we don't do dolls. We don't have to teach our children to infantilize and play house. 11 11 damage total for the poison so half of that so we'll do five. They've really definitely had at least one of these dolls He has like a little boy doll

That was like wearing a Victorian rock a little gentlemen doll next swarm of dolls misses third swarm of dolls misses Fourth swarm of dolls miss. They're all just jumping all over you and you're just swatting away at them. They're frightening, but they're not very strong. Jamie, just a boy hitting the prissy Percy. That was my favorite as a boy. You see the little girl next to all these weird, like fucking worms that are coming out of the main girl. Looks at you and she's like,

oh, I love prissy Percy. Yeah, I love all the accessories that you can get. You've got a fancy little hat. Oh, he's over there. He, I love all his accessories that you can get. He's got a fancy little hat. Oh, he's over there. He's stabbing your friends. Oh, you see Percy Percy just like swinging down on JV. Doesn't Percy Percy come with his own live-in doctor? Who tends to all his frail needs?

Of course, yes, he goes to the seaside every summer. It sits in a wicker wheelchair. That's Dead Eyes Turn. Cool. Dead Eyes is going to look over at Moonshine real quick and basically be like, we want to go all out on this one or we want to save some in the tank for the big guy. I personally think we keep some in the tank. All right. I think we got I think we got Ambrose in our future and we got two other vampires. And you guys do kind of get the sense from when JV slashed into the girl vampire, the little girl.

You saw organs exposed and stuff and it looks like they are the same beast. Mm. Oh, so other ones. So we won. Not that, not that Dad I would understand it this way, but their hit point total appears to maybe be the same hit.

Yeah, cool. Dad I was appears to maybe be the same hit. Yeah cool Dad I was gonna fire on the the dual vampire Like they look like a monster. So let's say I didn't attack the child Reba's coming out we're gonna do and they haven't acted in combat yet, right? Ah correct, so Reba's gonna come out. they haven't acted in combat yet, right? Correct. So Reba's going to come out, there's going to be a violent shot. Sweet. That's going to be a 28 to hit.

Sweet hits. 51 points of damage on the first attack. Jesus. Yeah. You see, part of her shoulder blows off with the explosion, and these weird, worm-like tentacles start coming out of her arm. And then, I'm gonna whip re-bought over my back, over my shoulder, draw a Looan and fire with Looan. Sweet.

20 to hit. Hits. 20 to hit hits. That's gonna be a 22 damage on the second attack. Sweet. Man, I'm glad we decided to hang out with you. That is Dallian Priscilla's turn. You see they both look up at all of you guys in the room with them. And they go, it's so fun to play with our guests.

Everybody, go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. Ooh, rare. And I am proficient in it, but I have zero intelligence. Oh no. Yeah, bitch, 19. Guess who's smart now? I got a 20, baby. 14.

I don't suppose a 10 saves. No, it does not. Did you, Brennan, did you add four to that? Oh, I don't suppose a 14 saves. It does not. Oh, cool. Hey! Buddy, I actually technically have a 23 then.

The only people who save are moonshine and JV. Wow. Bortrum and Balnor also fail. So this is not a charm effect, is it? No, this is psychic damage. It's almost as if like you can feel the audio waves like in the air in front of you as you get this like psychic attack on you for.

It's like when your sister yells to get you in trouble. Yeah, they tell on you to their dad. No! You guys take 27 psychic damage. Oh boy! And you are all stunned until you pass an intelligence saving through at the end of your turn. That is Bev's turn.

Okay, I guess I'll just try and break the red on. The effect? Yeah. I'm gonna reroll that one. Oh, you're a bleelucky. 17? 17 passes. Yay!

Do I get to take a turn now or am I done? No, that's the end of your turn. So Bev, you feel like your equilibrium's like totally off, your eardrums are bleeding. My tenitis. But you focus up and you're all good now. Okay, and then Bev, at the end of your turn, they are going to use a legendary action. Right. Indoor voices are going to use a tentacle on JV.

Huh. Who's already surrounded by dolls. Today's bad enough. Misses? Misses. Did you say this is your worst day in Chadow fell so far? Yes. It's my worst day in a long time.

That was molded by a possum. Really saying something. That is Boundor's turn Boundor is gonna Re-roll his intelligence saving throw Fucking that 19 Boundor kicks out of it. That is Bortram's turn Bortram is going to try to kick out of it Natural 8 that's not gonna do it. Dolly and Priscilla are going to take another legendary action another tentacle attack on JB Why not that one is gonna hit 23.

It's like a totally smooth tentacle or other suckers on it. There are suckers on it. So basically, yeah, you guys have seen as like that I have... Are they wet for some reason? Super wet. Super wet and gooey.

Very gooey. You see as... It's descriptive. As they've been axed and shot, you've seen these like worm-like tentacles coming out of them very wet and gooey and kind of holding them apart One shoots out has like a little sucker and little mouth on the end of it wraps around Our friend JV here. It's always sucking with y'all, huh and does 16 damage. Is that half? I suck in with y'all, huh? And does 16 damage?

Is that halfed? Some raging? It is psychic damage. Oh, so nice. 16 psychic damage. So you feel very bad about that. You feel upset. You feel depressed.

You feel a bit depressed. And you're grappled right now. You are still going to be able to attack, but you can't move. You are not stunned yet, but you need to give me an intelligent saving throw. Ooh, okay. It's 19? 19 does it.

Oh, JV, you're just like too positive. I can't affect you that much. You're not stunned, you're just grappled. That is... Pawsie. Ray a sunshine. Munchine, that is your turn. Okay, so I'm gonna go use my action to enter a fungal state.

Have I done this in front of Dead Eye yet? No, I don't think so. Oh. Oh, Dead Eye, you're in for a little treat. use my action to enter a fungal state. Have I done this in front of Dad I yet? No, I don't think so. Oh. Oh, Dad, hey, you're in for a little treat. Oh, my head's so poor, my brain is on fire. Do you like it or hate it? I love it.

And then I'm gonna use my bonus action and Misty Step over to this double sister. Okay. And I wanna like Misty Step over so I'm like literally backpacking them. Okay. So trying to distract them from other people and then while I'm there I'll spores them for 12 with my reaction. Weats. You get up behind them.

You do a bunch of damage. You see they do not like that one bit. They begin to like shutter and you see as you do your spores, some like little like baby worms, start like rotting and dying and falling apart. I'm gonna get off my back, you little weirdo. We don't wanna play with you. They think you'll be a weirdo.

So sweet at first, no. Get off your bizarre pedestal. By the time I'm done with you, you won't have enough dolls to fill a house. Do you want I'm not done? Don't take my dolls with you you won't have enough dolls to fill a house Gonna use a legendary action to try to use a tentacle on moonshine And hits moonshine go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw 20 20 dope you do not get stunned but you are grappled and you take 17 psychic damage

As that comes out of my temporary hit point. Yeah, you see like a full Arm style tentacle comes out from like one of their back shoulder blades and wraps around you Oh, and you are being like held up in the air now JV's being held up on the other side like held up in the air now. JV's being held up on the other side. Boundorn Bev have just gotten their wits back about them and dead eye and fucking four-trimmed ears are ringing and are just like holding their like broken ear drums and trying to get their equilibrium back. That is JV's turn.

So weat. You're surrounded by dolls and you are surrounded by dolls and you are in a tentacle you can attack and Attack you the dolls or attack the girls But you can't move. Okay, I'll attack the girls great. I hate these creepy vampires So I'm a swing I'm gonna do another reckless attack on these girls.

Don't you mean Dracula's? He's ugly, Dracula's. Another 20, God I would have crits so many times this hard one right now. I miss my boy, but it's 29. Super hits, 29? 29 damage, geez. I'll say, JVU slash right through the tentacle, and you just see this burst of goo goes all over you, and you are dropped onto the ground,

wrestling with all these dolls, but the tentacles down. Haked dolls? Haked dolls? Creepier than the humans? What do you think about tentacles, though? They're better than possums? You did radiant damage, all right? Oh, yeah, that was amazing.

They don't regenerate at the top of their turn. So I can attack you the dollars or the girls again, right? Yes, I'll go for the little one. Great. Starts small, great thought. 21 hits. 16.

Starting to look pretty hurt. She continues to look more and more monstrous. You see at this point, worms and tentacles and just, she's becoming more and more beast-gill and you just see the faces of these two girls. That is the swarm of dolls turn. The dolls are going to continue to stab at our good friends. Quite right.

We don't like playing with you. You're no fun at all. No, I dare you. I am. But what's going on? When you're stabbing him, are you playing him? Or are you not playing with? What's the logic here?

We don't like to play, but we play with the... Not a great game. Walt me through this. Oh god. Yeah, what's your idea play day? Only one of them is. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Nobody should be playing with these dolls.

They are collectors, items, and they should be on display in a loosite case. 24. 24 passes. So you take two regular damage, and then you are going to take only half of eight poison damage. You take four poison damage. Yeah, you see the knives have like fucking green goo on them,

just like dipped in poison. Just hold that in. Hold that in. Where were you from? Was that Mike? That is Dead Eyes Turn. Dead Eye, go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. No bonus actions or anything else on this turn.

Ooh, 13 plus 6 is 19. Plus 6 or? Well, yeah, including plus six is 19. Plus six or? Well, yeah, I'm including the plus four. Oh, you take out of it. Yeah, yeah. That's my brother, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, some of my brains, I can feel they're coming down my throat. Ah, ah, bad. Pop careers. I think that'll help.

Good mushroom. I love it. Yeah, thank you. Hi, the others, the real me. Moonshine, you have one of these tentacles wrapped around you. You see the ends of them have like little mouths and little vampire fangs, and are going to try to take a bite into you. What kind of damage is that going to be? It doesn't matter because it does not hit. You're able to like move your head out of the way.

That's right. You want to eat a piece of the mushroom, but you can't. And then it is going to take another tentacle attack at, let's say our friend, JV, who's on the ground here. Right. Hales? Yes. Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving through JV23.

Cool. You're not stunned, but you are grappled again, and you take 19 damage. No, a T-Day. That is Bev's turn. All right. Beverly is T-Oed, because they are disrespecting the memory of Chrissy Percy delightful Desmond Fenceful Ferdinand and the entire Bahumia boys collection Oh

Yes, all that fantasy Ferdinand looks at you why we're having fun. No, it is fun Just having down you work with your papal on the farm. It's bad game You've got a whole life we we work on the farm and then at night we come alive and we kill people. Again, I just want to say this is why I'm down at the Craig Young and don't play with dolls. You know, they play with... They must have more... They must have more violent.

Yeah, that's right. They play with each other and weapons. Delightful Desmond, you have over 13 capes and you're not wearing even a lot of them. I need to steal it and make it out of skin. Ugh. So I'm gonna go ahead and use a new Grey Knight ability and cast Hunter's Mark on Polly and, what's the other one's name? Dolly and Priscilla.

On Dolly and Priscilla. So that's gonna give me an extra D6 of damage. Sweet. Cool. Let me go and roll him to that. Good hustle out there, son. I see you using that holy magic. Can we say that my reroll blade was already activated?

No, I'm sorry. Oh my god. You can also only do it once a day. So you might not even want it right now. Fuck you're right. OK, well, that's going to be, does 11 hit? 11 does not hit. All right, let me try another attack.

Sweet. Does 21 hit. 21 does hit. Great. Just 11 hit 11 does not let me try another attack sweet Does 21 hit 21 does it right all right cool. I'm gonna go into a second little smite on that as well Weed cool me calculate some damage for your friend. Okay Okay, it's gonna be 30 points total nice They look extremely fucked up you see they look pretty fucked up before. You slash right into the little girl, do you wanna do the older girl or the little girl? The older girl, the older girl. Okay, you slash her face like right in half and you see they join together,

like one eye from Dolly and two eyes from the Priscillaiscilla the little girl. Curse you symbiotic sister. Ha ha. Life made us sisters but we chose to be best friends. Okay. S and you chose to be sown to each other. Yeah.

Okay. We love that. It was your choice actually. We chose to be best friends. I love your love. It's not just worms big step for the man. I love your love. It's not too much. Just worms pouring out of their mouths. At the end of your turn, Bev, they are

going to take a legendary action and try to suck some blood out of moonshine. And that is a 20 to hit. Yeah, that hits. moonshine, you are going to piercing damage. Okay. And then 14 acrotic damage that does affect your current hit points. Okay. Well, I would like to say that just so you know, I currently have been blessed by, um, or aided by young Bev. So my hit points was up to 94. And I had bonus hit points, or

I had, um, temporary hit points. Cool. Um, so, uh, bites through some of your bonus hit points or I had temporary hit points. So bites through some of your magic hit points. Some of these tastes like magic. I like real blood more. That sounds like a good thing. That is Boundore's turn. Boundore's just going to charge forward. And he doesn't even have a magic weapon.

He's just gonna try to attack the dolls that are all over JV. Oh, he'll still, but I'm not looking bright. They're not looking at me. It's fun. Eyes up, Bailnour. It's nine damage. Shadow fell's not been cut to everyone's face.

Kills like a handful of dolls. There you go. Takes a second swing on the dolls. And battling the true enemy. Successfully knocks off one swarm of dolls. There you go. It takes a second swing on the dolls and battling the true enemy. Successfully knocks off one swarm of dolls. Put them back on their packaging. I don't know if you need to kill them. That is Bortram's turn. Yeah, we could sell these shits on eBay. Bortram kicks out of his stun at the end of Bortram's turn. They are going to use a tentacle attack on JV again. That is 24 to hit. That's gonna hit.

Yes. Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw JV. That is not gonna do it. He rolled a one in a two. Okay. You are stunned and you take 12 psychic damage. That is Munchine's turn. All right, I'm just gonna attack these little girls. Sweet. I'm going again for the, oh, you know, now there's a little, but we're best friends.

Yeah, I'm gonna attack these best friends. Thank you for calling us best friends. Does a 20 hit? Super hit us. All right, I'm extra d6 because I'm in fungal form, so that will be a 25 and then I spores in for 12. Jesus, moonshine, finish these friends. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Do you want to be our sister too? You know what, in this moment I'm gonna show them some kindness and I'm gonna say, yeah, let's have a a tea party and then I'm gonna set up a little tea party and put my spores into a tea saucer and then you kill them. So insanely convoluted. I'll say yeah you find a like little tea set a little tea cup nearby you spores into it. You pour it over the mass of worms and tentacles that these monstrous sisters have become and they explode apart and turn into mist. I might take a cup as well.

I don't know, don't finish off theirs. I don't know, if you're having tea, I don't have a little cup. Again, everyone, have it on make a new pot. There you go. Got some chamomile. Just keep it separate from what the worms are eating So we're out of combat you're out of combat

You guys are now dolls de-animate or the dolls totally like fall off JV and are just laying on the ground I just want to say so wait they turn into mist. Oh, cuz they're not killed. Yeah, they're back in the cellar I guess they're just Dreckulous. Yeah, so you guys are in this large living room now Still candles everywhere. Hieroglyphics all over the floor. You see there's one room here that was the door that you came in through, which was the little girls room.

You see another door open. There looks like there's a candle in there. You see a little bed and like kind of cutesy, doily stuff. It looks like maybe it's the other girls' room. You see stairs going upstairs. You see stairs going downstairs. And then you've got these dolls all over the floor.

Okay, so y'all, we have just a tally up. We have Petunia, Ambrose, and one more, correct? That's right, yeah. Okay. Well, I am gonna pick up fancy Ferdinand, is that one of the dolls? Oh, absolutely. Ferdinand.

I'm gonna pick up Ferdinand and see if Papa has any interest. Rian? Papa looks over Adam. Looks... Not for chewing. Rian. Rian. Papa kind of like sizes him up and everything. So he's that fanciable Ferdinand has like a little case of books,

like a little bag, a book bag that he carries with him. And Papa takes it off a fanciable Ferdinand and wears it proudly. Oh my God. And then just nods at you like it's okay to destroy it now. All right, I destroy the rest of the dogs. He's burning it. Wait, wait, save the bow it proudly. Oh my gosh. And then just nods at you. Like, it's okay to destroy it now. All right, I destroy the rest of the dogs. He's burning it. Wait, wait, save the bow tie.

Save the bow tie. Oh, okay, yeah, save the bow tie for pop-up. Pop-up puts on the bow tie. Hey, it's a little, a little book bag. Hey, dead eye. You're pretty good at deciphering blood runes if your house is to be any indication. Can you make anything of these horglets? Sure

You know, I'm a lot of my blood roots are kind of a rexicon of my own making I'll take a crack here. Yeah, you want to do like a history check. Oh man. Do I ever? Sure That's a seven a seven. Oh, yeah, that's some fancy words that I will tell you would Yeah, that's some fancy words that I will tell you what Whatever my brother says goes, you know Funny you some of these ruins here. I was in that was in a roadside saloon outside of a little place You know far north of Galator on a little sort of drinking hole and felt I had one of these ruins on the outside of his arm Some kind of tribal marking. Anyway, we went round for round and a drinking contest slamming down mech ska. I ended up summoning some kind of vulture spirit and I wrote it through the desert that night.

And then I find in a piece of myself that's been missing for a long, long time. Beverly has this. She probably answered your question. Is that answer your question? You know, slammerly has a notebook out and just writes down. All cricks are idiots. And I just see Beverly writing and I'm not approving that he's so king and dead eyes wisdom. I see Portram walks over to you, bad puts his hand on your shoulder and goes, look so I blood magic, like they were doing some bad stuff in here.

Do you think that's how they got combined? Yeah, I would imagine so. Can we like search the rooms real quick? I guess I don't know if there's any. I think yeah, I think we want to canvas this house and see. How you doing by the way, JV? That was a rough. I'm a bit hit.

Yes. Do you want to take a gander on a mule? Or you want some heel? You want a heel? Am I? Hi. I shamefully did not do much in that fight. So, you know, why don't I help out my friend, J.B. here?

Okay, yes. How much do you need? Could he use 30? 30? All right, you know what? Let me lay hands on your butt real quick. You've got a quick pat, good hustle out there. You did great.

You really represented us. It's the not-so-penance. You really did a great job. You're right, speed of the dust, mother? Slaps you on the butt. That's right for 30. For 30. You know, I do just want to say,

Coach Bertram, you were saying earlier that it's not okay to be attracted to the dust mother and I think that at least in Bohemia, it's okay to be a little hot for your god. Oh yeah, I'd fuck the Lord in a second. All right, well, yeah, go down on her without asking anything to return. Yes, dust mother's beautiful down on her without asking. You can go return. Yes.

Deathmother's beautiful, quite beautiful. I would rub sunscreen on floor. I think no question is. We all think they're really attractive and maybe we're all little in love with them. But all we want to do is just lay next to them and cuddle with them for a while and talk. That's all we want to do. Get that. Yeah.

Right. Now I want to get my mouth dirty. You know, I'm mostly believing the resolve of the mortal spirit. But if that ever took a physical anthropomorphic form, I'd fuck the shit out of it. Yeah. Hell yeah. We're all finding our way. I'm also going to do second wind.

OK, sweet. I'm going to come. Do you guys need any? How are you guys on hit points and stuff? I'm at 76 out of 103. So I mean, I can use a touch. Let me go ahead and just give you a little lay hands then there.

Yeah. How much have someone do it to me? How much do you need? Like 20 or 30? Oh, sweet. I'm actually 20, be great. Great, he gives you 20 pad on the butt, good hustle, good hustle.

Oh, thank you. This ass is so flat. He feels like, now he feels like, just like, slap a board. I can't get scum laughing. But it's bored. You guys, so, no, it feels like, it's like, it's a slap. It's like, it's got a board. But it's a board. You guys, so you guys go through the rooms on the second floor. I'm not even gonna make you do an investigation check because it's not particularly interesting.

You've got the little girls room, then the older girls room, which is decorated in much the same fashion. It's very childish. And you see that they have a little door between the rooms to connect them. These adjoining rooms, it's clear that they have this strange, codependent relationship. I think I turned to dead eye and I say, you know, dead eye as far as siblings go. I think we're doing in a real healthy way.

You know, I gotta say, you know, I don't necessarily practice self care, but I like to think that at the very least, I have an awareness of what I need to work on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I think as a family, we kind of move in the same direction. There's a lot of respect. You know, I think affection can become warped and go to bed and see. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Some of my ribs are back in the other room. I'm going to run back real quick. Yeah. I actually popped all of them. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's such a genius. Has him in his little back, his little doll bag. Hands the back to you. You can put those back in any order.

I mean, I lost count of where they're actually supposed to do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look for they're facing the right way. Papa's not looking to get sued for medical malpractice. He gets in there and he does it the right way. So you guys basically see, yeah, there are these two little girls rooms and then there's a staircase upstairs and then there's like a banister that wraps around and goes downstairs.

Up or down, gang? I kind of think we gotta go top down, right? If we are trying to, because we don't want to get start going down into the depths and then worry that we left someone alive upstairs. Yeah I think cutting off the escape may sense. Yeah and Petunia was the kind of the black sheep of the family it seems seems like the sort of person you might keep in an attic. She's living somewhere else are we sure that they're all under this roof? I believe. I think that might be. But that's I mean that's what we

assumed we haven't seen them go anywhere we don't know. I mean that might be. But that's, I mean, that's what we assumed. We haven't seen them go anywhere. We don't know. I mean, they might be elsewhere, but at this point, they know they're being hunted. And I don't think it would look good to their vampires in town if they knew that there were enemies wandering around and they're on home kind of looks.

Makes you look weak to the other skaters. Yeah. What's the whole about optics? You know, people like these, they live their lives constantly in fear of what other people are gonna think about them. It's impossible to live your authentic self. Which is pretty ironic for someone

that can't see themselves in the mirror. Wow. Wow. Wow, it's little. Wow. Wow. You like that one. That's quite witty.

Haha. Got a two time trick. I love a clean joke. I love a clean joke. I love a clean joke. That's the kind of joke you can play for your kids. The hell is a clean joke? Oh, you mean no customers? Yeah.

Shit, fuck out, kids. All right, all right. Where are we going up or down? I'll go up. I think up, yeah. Are you guys all sneaking up or one at a time? Tell me how you proceed. I think we sneak up.

I can go in the lead. I have advantage on stealth. I got a pretty high. I can go in the lead, I have a banage on stealth. I got a pretty hard check on stealth. Oh yeah, you probably do. Just report scores as if anything comes up. We'll wait at the bottom. Sweet. You guys are waiting at the bottom of the stairs. The quick elves, go ahead and give me stealth checks.

That's gonna be a 21. Oh my god. I got a six. Six. Okay. I roll with a bandage and I got a two and a three. I'm gonna get chunky mushroom, buddy. I'm so sorry, I don't usually still

with the phone before. I'm just playing sports, left and right. You guys begin sneaking up the stairs. Got the poor baller booty. Moonshine, you step a little too heavily and there is a very, very loud creek. You guys hear it down stairs on the second floor? Well, not very stealthy after a beat. Our report's board. Just come on up guys. I thought the floor cover.

Everybody joins you guys up the stairs. There is no reaction from anybody in the house or anything after you make this noise. You guys are heading up. You do see a doorway at the top of the stairs, there is no reaction from anybody in the house or anything. After you make this noise, you guys are heading up, you do see a doorway at the top of the stairs. All right, three, two, one. Yeah, she was three, two, one, and just run in. I like that. Sweet. Let's do it. Three, two, one. You guys rush forward and kick in this door, and there is no one inside.

So, I'm gonna take a piss in the corner and see if anyone responds. Maybe they're invisible right now, but if you pee in the corner, they'll get real mad. Hang on, you see this, you guys are in this massive master bedroom. It takes up the entirety of the third floor. Beautiful red rugs and drapes, small oak tables

with golden chalices on them. One big bed with a dark red blanket lined with gold. Another world we could destroy that thing. There is a large window that overlooks the city. You can see the dim lights of torches and the distance and lanterns of the city, as well as the creeping fog on the outskirts. And there's also a small desk with a feather pen sitting in a jar of ink next to some yellow brown parchment. This guy be Ambrose, right? Seems like a statesman room. Ambrose vibe. Yeah, that's nice.

So this is a room of someone cultured with extremely refined taste. I'm going to squeeze a little pee out of pop onto the floor. Yeah. So much pee comes out. Inst instantly just pisses all over the entire room smells like awful, awful, like that powerful acidic cat piss smell when it's not in litter just like the whole room stinks. It is noxious. It is hard to be in here. Dead I visibly relaxes. Whew, that's better. I get nervous eye visibly relaxes. That's better.

I get nervous and I'm like this. That's how you do it. Bob starts napping, like as if he had that in him and needed to squeeze down. Musking. I got a remember to squeeze this puzzle. I forget. So what happens?

Yeah, did anything happen? I won't come out. Nobody comes out. Nobody. Can I look at the desk? I want to see if there's any sweet leftover notes. There is a note on the desk, and there is also a desk drawer. I'll at the desk? I want to see if there's any sweet leftover notes. Um, there is a note on the desk and there is also a desk drawer. I'll read the note first.

Sweet, um, the note says, Dearly beloved guests, After years of dominating powerful revenants, Who would have thought the Monk gummeries would have so much trouble with a rag, tag, crew, a ruffians? Now I'm a prideful man, crew, or ruffians. Now I'm a prideful man, but I'm not a stupid one. I'd like to offer you a deal. Inside this desk are four candles enchanted by my own special brand of magic.

Light them and it'll get you through the fog. You stay away from my crypt. I grant you permission to leave this town regards Count Ambrose Montgomery. And you see lanterns sitting next to the desk that do not have candles in them. But they are sitting next to the desk and there are four of them. Rip it up, right?

Yeah. I say we negotiate. I say maybe Paul Paul's rubbing off on me, but I say we try and say, we'll leave all of your crypts alone, except for Scarlet's. I don't know if I trust these candles. Well, how about this? We don't know the cards we got in our hand yet.

I want to take them candles out of that desk, and let's, if anyone y'all can detect magic or anything like that, let's see if he's operating in good faith. You got to detect magic, Bev? I don't know if that's stocked, but I can at least do an evil sense on him. Okay, I am going to Mage Hand, the drawer open.

Okay, Bev, you use your Mage Hand and begin to open up the desk and there is this explosion of necrotic energy, like almost like a black dragon or something is like blowing smoke out. Just necrotic energy, like almost like a black dragon or something is like blowing smoke out. Just necrotic magic fills the room. Everyone go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw as you try to jump out of the room. Would using the magia not give me enough space.

It's a 30 foot car. Okay. 19. 19. Shout out to the two crew. That's going to be anky. 19. 19. Shout out to the two crew. Oh! That's gonna be an 11. 17.

You love necrotic energy though. I love necrotic energy. Yeah, Ken, what is already killed? Be killed. Do we get Bebs or on that? Yes, same as ours. Yes, it's always got it, great. 21.

Oh, if we got Bebs or on that, I got a 15. Oh, dead eye does not pass. Bound or does not pass. Uh oh. Oh. How are you doing? You have to want to see. I'm at a hundred.

Oh, okay, you good. There are no candles in there. There were no candles. Yes, okay. Oh. Can't say I'm. Oh, you bitch, I was open to negotiate with you. I know you're in here somewhere.

I see your coffin. You still got too much hospitality up in that brain. I know. Negotiating is a good tactic, but it would have left us high and dry. Oh, what? Me and Bortram just battling the Dracula. Yeah, that's...

You know what, J.B. that is absolutely true. So sorry, you should have spoke up soon. It's all right. It's all right. Good to get another one. What if you guys work through it? I think thumbs were good that our goal is our... 62 damage to everyone who failed. So let's see guys work through it. At 60 times we're getting that hour's all. 62 damage to everyone who failed

and 31 to everybody else. Yeah, holy shit. Am I still raging anymore, Am I? No, go out of count. Yeah, 31. 31 damage to everybody who passed. And the smoke clears, this black smoke clears after this explosion of death energy comes out of this desk

and you see that the desk is empty. And Boundor looks worse for wear. I rush over to Boundor. Is he down? Boundor is still up, but he's very hurt. That was a bad desk. You're getting a little of this. Yeah, here Boundor.

How much you need? Why don't I do? Why don't we go for Balnor. How much you need? Why don't I do? Why don't we go for fourth level care? You know what? Why don't you see Bortren goes? Oh, you what? Uh, I am, I think, the rot is like normally located on like particular patches.

I think it's like full spread, like Princess Mononoke style. Oh, I'm not a runner. And I'm just like, now I don't want to alarm anyone But I do not feel cartilage in between my vertebrae Hold on yeah, I got some model glue. Yeah. Oh, if you can hit me I would that glue brother to be great We put out a plot some balsa wood. Oh, I heal you for 34. Oh That's great. Bortrem does a third level cure wounds on Boulnor

and gets him back up to like half. Thanks coach. You know, I'm gonna go ahead and heal myself. I'm sorry y'all, I know I usually save it for you guys, but self care is what did I just taught me, so no practice it. Yeah. Bortrem is gonna burn two more first level cure wounds on Balnor and himself.

Actually, he just has to do it on himself to get himself back up to full. And then he's gonna do one on Balnor and then Balnor is gonna use the amulet and those guys are both back to full. They look healthy again. You know, we wouldn't be the boobs if we didn't fall for booby traps

This motherfucker likes to act like he's refined. This is like some summer camp print war shit. Oh, yeah, this oh Man, I'm gonna fill this Low country I'll say that I'm gonna eye the four lanterns. Do I recognize the four lanterns at all? I'm gonna eye the four lanterns. Do I recognize the four lanterns at all? They look to be regular lanterns without candles inside them. Would I know that the lanterns are mostly just the candles inside them and that the casing kind of doesn't matter?

For all you know, Bo, this fucking scumbag was just totally lying to you. Y'all, we got bag of holding. Might as well grab those four lanterns and put them in anyways. Sure enough. All right, let's do it. Grab the lanterns, throw them in the bag.

Do we see anything else in this room? And worse comes the worst, we can use them on a table scale. Yeah, go ahead and make an investigate checks. Net 20 baby. There you go. Moonshine, you find like a fuck. I'm going to like detective CSI mode. You find a secret compartment and he's got like a treasure chest with gold and shit.

Oh fuck yeah. How much I take it out. Yeah, he's got a shitload of fucking gold. I'll say. I'm rich bitch. I'm going to college. Maybe elementary school first, but good goal. Maybe elementary school first, but good goal. Yeah, you find a chest with bars of platinum and gold worth about 20,000 gold. Whoa. Holy shit. See, this is the exact type of wealth hoarding that hurts economies in a place like

so- I'm only hoarding it till I get back to the material plane, then I'll spread it around. Yeah, we should use this to rebuild the church I'm putting it into dust mom. Don't that's all do you pay taxes on the church is that tax for we actually Don't but nobody pays anything to anyone here You don't need that this guy how this guy get a chest full of bullion without oh, that's true Well, I suppose the vampire do that's super money that's super on a polite money All right, yeah, the only restaurant in time. It's just there's a lot of dwarfenages back in Bohemia

that we got to take care of with this money. Yeah, I got a... Oh, dwarfenage? I would have killed to have been raised in a dwarfenage. You've heard a dwarfenage? It sounds like a lux life. Isn't that a bad thing for a dwarf? Not quite as bad as being whipped into a frenzy.

Oh, yeah. It's on a stone. Sorry to touch tender spots, but did you know your parents and they were in on this rage thing? Oh, yes., but did you know your parents and they were in on this rage thing? Oh, yes. Okay, so you knew your parents, they were just bad. They were all quite bad.

They're quite evil, not good people. Yeah, J.B. here's a gold bar. Oh, thanks. I, yes, and your mother maybe also killed my dad. So thanks for that as well. I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done it, you've done me many favors. Maybe give him two. Yeah, we'll give you it up later. We don't have that much. You use for a lot of gold here. Once good. Okay. I just want to make sure you're getting

the correct reparations. I'm just bigger. And you know, maybe we could get a really cool weapon to go after the all with. That's not a bad idea. And also build a couple dance halls. And we got to fix up the storm warrant too. Yeah, that's true too. If you went back to the creek and you chopped these up and you just gave 10 gold coins to every single creek, all that immediately surges back into the economy. I know, that's what I'm saying. When you distribute wealth to the bottom,

it riches, it's a nutrient to the larger economic system. I mean, it's not a bad idea to just hop around or some of these poor communities and just start divvying it out. You know, I appreciate your effort to help, but they do use brown leaves as money, so I think there's only so much, so far that would go.

What do you think he knows? He's from the crib. Why do you think they use brown leaves as money? Do you think that we might be a cash poor place that's been historically marginalized by other more advanced civilizations in Bohemia? I thought you just said because it looked funny. No, well, we do what we do brown leaves

because it looks funny, but we would prefer gold. Okay, maybe we can make the leaves into gold. That actually is kind of a best of both worlds. Okay, yeah, that's what we'll do. You're right, I apologize. It's our project. Anything else we're missing here in the room or no? You guys look around the room,

you find the secret compartment with some money in it. Other than that, there are like gold chalices and shit that you can certainly sell. Like he's got a lot of nice stuff. I'm in with the gold bars. I'm gonna go outlaw for a second here, and I think I just got a bunch of like gold forks and cups and pockets.

I do it up. I probably take his fancy stationery set. Oh yeah, he's got a great little... What's that comforter like made of velvet? Oh yeah. Okay, we take that. Oh my God, that's bad. And Jamie shits on it.

I'm gonna just take a dump on this pillow. Oh. You like this guy? This is from your old life, but you know what? I respect it. You destroyed the church. I hate him. I hate him so much. All right, let's go sit on his lap. I'm gonna sit on his bed. One of the church. I hate him. I hate him so much.

All right. What are those good shit on his mouth? I'm gonna shit on his mouth. One of the weirdest things about you, JV, is that you make eye contact with us while you're taking a shit. What don't blink? And you shift cubes like a capy bar.

You're like one of those paintings wherever I'm moving the room, you're looking right in my eyes. Yes. Well, that's a good scene to go out on. All right, yeah. let's start heading down stairs and try and find a petunian. If we don't find her, then at least we can

torch some of these coffins. Sweet, amen. You guys go back down to the second floor and then begin making your way down to the first floor. You creep down the stairs. How are you guys proceeding? Creeply? I guess maybe you should, my stealth failed us last time. So

all right. Well, I'm going to go with vantage. So I mean, I got a good stealth score, but I'll give it a shot. Okay, I'll take the lead. That's going to be a 14. Okay. So did I you sneak down the stairs to the first floor and you are in this foyer. You can see the front door. To the right of the front door, you see a room with a door open and you see a light coming in from there. It looks like there's a fireplace or something.

You see like an orange light, but it's flickering like there's fire or something. To the left of the main door, there is another room there, but the door is closed. There is another door next to that, on the left side there, and then behind you, down the hall, like looking over the banister, you see a dining room at the end of the hall. I'm going to pop my eye and my hand out, tuck around behind the corner,

and send this guy a little scouting mission. Okay. Go to the room with your fire light first. These are these sweets. This is really fun visually. Yeah. Yeah. Again, like index finger and thumb holding the eyeball and the other three fingers, skittering around. Can I fashion little slippers for each of his little fingers so they don't make a bony sound when they land on the floor? You don't need to, we'll just grab him from the dolls. Yeah, you can grab him from the ground floor. I got a 24 stealth check to get down to the room with fire light.

Dada, your hand is able to sneak down the stairs here, waltzes in on its little fingers into this room that looks to be a little sitting area for guests. You see there are a few chairs in front of a fireplace. There's a small coffee table on top of a werewolf rug. It's got gray hair and the head still attached. Mouth opened in a roar. Atop the fireplace is a large portrait of Ambrose. He's got the red pupils, fair complexion and pulled back silver hair that is in common with all the other members of the Montgomery clan.

He has a red tunic under a black cape with a ruby necklace. I like some kind of red gem in the middle of his chest. And yeah, you see there's a fireplace going. Okay, no creatures here in this room. You do not see any creatures here in this room. No. Okay. You see that there are like many paintings of Ambrose and not really any of his children. Okay. Okay. Does he have that red gem in all the paintings? Yes. Okay. I'm a send, I'm a send a little handy on down the trail. Yeah, handy. I'm gonna send a little handy on down the trail. Handy, is that one of the dolls in the Boomeria boys?

Handy, handy. Yes, but he was rejected very quickly. He said very rare to find because they only made it for one year. I'm going to send him on down to the dining room. That was the sexual education door. You send a handy andy down to the end of the hall. You see the hallway opens up into a dining room. There's a large oak table and seats.

For each member of the Montgomery family, you see eight seats. And on the table are these like cobweb covered goblets, but no plates. And you don't really see anything else. Go ahead and actually give me an investigation check. I don't suppose this could be perception. No, it could be perception. Sure. No plates. How do I eat soup? It could be perception, sure. No plates, how do I eat soup? Yeah.

Stripe on the vine. Ooh, that's gonna be a 25 perception. I, you tilt, handy, andy down so that your eye can see the ceiling and you see a body pins to the ceiling that looks like it was drained of its blood. Oh, and all the blood dripped into the goblets. Ooh, is it? Just looks to be a regular, just like a peasant from town.

Okay, I'm just gonna stop and say that's kind of bad as. I mean, like in terms of like, I like to know that they have some food rituals here. Once again, extremely dope aesthetic, just quite bad. Yeah, exactly. I wish like, yeah. They know what they're about. Interesting parties for sure. I'm gonna report sports everyone and basically be like, we got two closed doors down here, dining room and the parlor are both clear,

but I'm gonna call handy Andy back and y'all come, let's take these doors down. Yep, yeah, I almost wonder, is there a seller? Can we get into the tombs room here, the grips room here? Did I, did I, did I go? You didn't encounter any other doors besides those two doors. So, sellers gonna be through one of them two doors. Unless it's even more hidden, but we should check those doors first.

Yeah, let's check those doors. And I think that, you know, getting the cover of the doors open, let's just, I don't think we need to make a quiet entrance. Let's just go, be feet and do it. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. And I'm still fungal for my last last work. Are you guys all stealthing down the stairs now?

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody go ahead and give me stealth checks. Also, I want to mention that I, can I say that I looked at Beb's amulet? Sure, yeah. Okay, call. Cool. It's gonna be.

Oh, it's gonna be a 16? Matt 20 on my stealth. 22 from Miss Belmunchan. Uh-oh, that's gonna be a 7 from Beefrily. Okay. Beefrily makes a lot of noise coming down the stairs. Once again, there's a loud creek. But then a bead of silence.

You guys re-eggain your composure and you're all able to meet in this foyer. Everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Let's me in that 20. 18. 19. Dead eye. With that good of a perception check, even though you are kind of already a dead guy and constantly surrounded by the stench of death, now that your nose is down here

and you have your sense of smell, you smell, and it hits all of you, stench of rotting bodies when you're in this foyer, and you notice specifically, dead eye, that the second room, there are bodies in there. The other room doesn't smell quite as bad. Like you go up, kind of walk near the one,

it seems to be wafting under the door, and the other door is not as bad. Well, how do we wanna take the one that seems less dramatic first, just to be thorough, or do we wanna hit this den of evil here? I mean, what do you think JB? Maybe this is just where they store their food. Yeah it could be like a seller or a pantry.

Yeah a little wine closet. It could be a little man pantry. So we're going to say we're not thinking of... So I'm saying you want to go down there or you want to go straight for the death smell. Oh I want to go for the door that we don't know. Um okay. I stir door. Door number one.

Stir door okay. Okay so non-stinky I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-

I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-

I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- while being able to keep an eye on door number two. Okay, okay, and I will maybe, maybe I'll like hold door number two closed or something. We're calling them stinky door and non-stinky door. Okay, maybe I'm putting my body against stinky doors

and I won't can pop through. And I'll pop through door number one, non-stinky. Ah! Ah! JV, you open the door and you find a small library. There is a large red velvet chair next to a small table. There is a short lid candle that appears to have been burning for a bit. At the other end of the room is a bookcase and the books are all black. Just a tights full little library. Okay. I would like to go in and investigate.

Okay, what would you like to investigate specifically? Okay, I guess black book cases, what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give the help action to moonshine on that. Okay, moonshine, go ahead and give me a investigate check with the band. I'm gonna quickly wipe my ass in the chair. Okay. Will, investigate, okay, so that I'm just gonna add,

that's gonna be an eight. An eight? Um, moonshine, you look in all of these books look virtually identical. No surprise because I can't read. I do want to steal that werewolf rug just kind of sidebar. I know we're in like a really dire situation, but it's not time to get to talk about other things. Yeah, that'll look great in the rompest room of the strongborn. Dad, I didn't know that werewolf, did he? Um, oh my god, Ken! Yeah, it was, that was Ken, dude. Oh my god, they got Ken!

Oh, monsters, it's bastards! That's what it took, huh? Oh, I'm okay, Lever. Ken, listen, when you trap down in a place as shitty as Grandma for as long as I've been, you don't just forget someone as cool as Ken. Ken made this town a party. Beverly runs over to the room. Don't worry.

Beverly runs over to the room and sees that Ken is still wearing sunglasses. It's like, oh, oh. Can you just tell him that's his own ticket? Oh my gosh. He had such good night vision. He said he needed to wear shades at night now. Booking brand is there.

JV Rollsman have been a tight role and puts it in the bag of holding. God been out for God and wakes up, Mochette. Does anyone else want to investigate this bookcase? I want to go up to the bookcase. I'm skeptical of lighting the candle, but I want to activate my sword and kind of like let it scan along the spine of the books. Go ahead and either do a religion check or a

investigation check. I will also give the hell back to nice. All right. First one was a five. No. Second one was a seven. Okay, total. 11. 11. Okay, within 11. Yeah. total 11. 11. Okay, within 11, yeah. You see that one of the books has a on the spine written in like thin script in gold. It says Montgomery. This book seems different. Okay, wait before you do that. Yeah. Just because that may end up opening some sort of door, I just want to real quick take the candle, produce flame, delight it, and put it into one of those lanterns that was left there. Okay, sweet. And at the very least, just give it to Bound Order, try and help. Okay, thanks a lot. I like having a flash. Maybe let's take Stinky Door real quick before we touch his Montgomery book. Yeah, let's take a peek. I'm gonna take handy. Yeah, yeah, again.

Okay, and do a slight of hand check to like open that stinky door and spring away. Handy Andy runs over to the door, hops up cartoonishly, pulls the knob, starts to swing it open, you start to rush back, your eye turns and sees another very like immature room, like all very pink and doily and everything. And you see a couple of figures sitting around

a little table looks to be like a little tea party or something like that. But I'll say unless you actually go investigate, you can't see more than that. Right now you're running away. It could be Petunia. Yeah, it could be petunia. Should we take care of this real quick?

Let's see if we can get the drop on them. Yeah. All right. We're going to try this. I hate traculous. Yeah, well you better get some. I hate traculous. Mm-hmm.

Very convincing. You're, you're rage is very apparent. It's infectious really. Tell me to be such a pill. Tell me how you guys enter the room. How far away is the library through the foyer to this other stinking room? They're like right next to each other. So why don't I just jump in, try to get that extra round,

y'all will be able to make it to that door in lickety split. Yeah, okay, great. Sweet, lead the way. Go ahead and give me a stealth check. That's gonna be 18. 18, okay, dead eye, you sneak up to this room. Door is already open, you peek your head around and you see bodies. You see seven total sitting around a little table posed to look like they're having a

tea party. They all have small silver utensils and mugs. The bodies are dressed to look like different members of the Montgomery family and on like second look you see that they are sewn together from different victims. I was like, The over four spores I just say, y'all this was not my tea party, just so everyone knows I didn't have anything to do with this.

Yeah, you see like different shades of skin pigment on them, so it's like clearly from different people. And there are various limbs, like one arm will be shorter than the other arm and stuff like that. You see actual stitch marks across like their faces and their necks. The room is pastel pink and full of cute little furniture like doll furniture and stuff. And on the wall opposite the door is a painting of a beautiful young woman in a pink dress holding a little parasol. And as soon as you poke your head in dead eye, you hear a voice go shh. And you look up and you see a gaunt pale woman

with sunken in eyes, stringy silver hair and pigtails. And she's on all fours, clinging to the ceiling like spider climb and her head is turned all the way around. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Is this on being charmed? Is she trying to charm him? Because you have any? I roll with advantage against char. Yeah.

That's elves too. So much for a surprise attack though. Yeah. Yeah, well, quite a good one. That's gonna be on a wisdom check. That's gonna be a 22. You know, I did not think that bow would be the most normal Montgomery, but here we are.

God, I mean, if you're Ambrose, are you just like, man, I fucked up. I was a bad parent. Like several of my daughters are clinging to their youth, like their tiny youth and not their like high school. Well, shitty kids, just shitty kids. Yeah, shit us, that more time on weekends. No wonder that Wayland and Scarlett

feel so unashamed about making out with each other. I mean, like compared to the rest of the siblings, they're miles ahead of the game. If I had to hang out with anyone now, have any seen this, I would hang out with Wayland and Scarlett about. It's like bar none, bar none. If you had taken them to six flags like once now having seen this I would hang out with Wayland and Scarlett. It's like bar none. Yeah, bar none.

If you had taken him to six plaques once I think this could have been avoided. I'm thinking he may be traveled a lot for work. Yeah, or something like that. When the good kids are the incestuous ones. Yeah. Uh, dead eye you do pass. So you resist the charm. She senses it.

Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Whoo. Whoo. Yoice. Do it. Do it. She senses it everybody go ahead and roll initiative 22 23 oh Finally, it's gonna be a 33 All right, you think Bad he's on our side. It's a good thing. You shouldn't feel competitive with your teammates. Tell us what you got. I got a nine. So maybe put that in your pipe and I guess just.

And don't smoke it. It's bad for the lungs. This is a golf initiative round, right? Dead eye, you are first. Do I go full out here? No. We gotta save up. I think this ain't a bad one to go full out. You think it's not a bad one to go full out. You think it's not a bad one to go full How are you immune to my charms? You fucking suck

Do just going back in the fourth upside Here's the back and do it's twist enough just to do this But for you to think this is gonna make a good impression is Completely do you want me to see my family? What is my family? It doesn't lock me, but these ones do. Oh, this is just tragic though. Is anyone feeling an inch of pity?

My big friends. This theme seems very similar to your sisters. All right, you know what? I got a graft in the together. I'm not gonna lie, I got spooked, I'm going full out. Yeah. So this is gonna be, this is gonna be reverb up top. We gonna make this a, we gonna make this a violent shot. It's like you saw like an inflatable witch at Halloween and just pump it all in. That's gonna be a 25 to hit.

Sweets. Hits. Oh, that's gonna be a 25 to hit. Sweet. Hits. Woo! So good. Yeah, somebody does the enhance. It looks like you're cleaning up to go home. Ah! Ah!

You guys have resisted. I don't think vampires have successfully charmed you once. Literally one having just a hard one. Well, the indeed I have resistance. Yeah, no. Yeah. Well, they got a hard one pretty good, so. Yeah, and he's the strongest.

I'm in total, I've had. Yeah, JV, I really think you'd like hard one. I don't know how he feel about you from being honest. Right, right, I drove a lot of people the wrong way. 54 damage on the first attack. I'll say you fully blower off the ceiling. Oh, crash is down into the table below. Okay, so yeah, 54 on that one.

That's Reba, that's another radiant bullet. I think I might get a gun. I'm getting a gun myself. Yeah. Lewand's coming out, so that's gonna be 18, but it's 30 to hit on the next one. Super hits. Yeah, Lou Ann's coming out. So that's gonna be 18 plus 30 to hit on the next super hits 14 plus six is 20 damage on the second attack nice. We're gonna action surge

Just on the ground kicking her legs up Kill it that's gonna be a 31 to hit. Super hits. 11 plus six is 17 damage on the next attack. And then the last attack on that action search, I'm gonna spend my final grip point, make this a violent shot as well. 16 plus 12 is 28.

Okay. We'll roll this one, this last attack, this round is gonna be 822 23 plus six is 29 points of damage on the fourth attack. And I am going to move and bonus action, highlight this, blah, blah, blah, blah, and just backflip over this deer case and hide in the foyer.

Jesus. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I foyer. Jesus. I'm going to go ahead and make it. Go ahead and make a stealth check. What's up? That's going to be an 18 on a stealth check. 18. Just try to focus with the sabons. That's the kind of energy we bring.

Yeah. As a legendary action, just like lightning quick, like she was like a turtle hanging upside down then she all of a sudden is on all fours, like a fucking panther. Legendary action uses her movement to spring out of the room out into the foie... foie A. Whoa. Damn, did I.

If I could make that a Sabin Christmas card, the Christmas card that we sent out this year, I would. Merry Christmas, y'all. That's, that's, that's, um, Moon Chincern. Um, I will just go in there and I'm in a rage and I'll go in there and attack her. She's in the foie A, you know, she hopped right out. So okay'm in a rage and I'll go in there and attack her. She's in the foyer, you know. She hopped right out. So, okay, so I'm running into the foyer and attacking her.

There's a 15 hit. It does not. All right, well, still spores her for 12. Sweet. You spores her for 12. She is furiously looking around for dead eye, but does not find him, is going to take a bite at moonshine. Ooh.

Reno. Hops up and tries to bite into her neck, and that is a 16-hit, does not hit. That is da da da da, JV's turn. Ah, yes, I hate Dracula's, as I mentioned. So the side of it makes me quite petite, a bit pissed. I'm gonna go into a rage. Sweet.

And I'm going to attack her with my X. 21 hits. Such a toothy grin for someone so mad. Yes, yes, I'm quite happy to be hitting a Dracula. Don't get too happy though, staying that rage. Stay in the funk. 22. Actually, I shouldn't have said that to you, JB, I'm sorry.

You can be in the rage or not in the rage. That's your decision. Thank you. And a privilege I was not afforded in my life. Oh, that's why. And I'll take another reckless attack at the Dracula. Sweet. Him being happy makes me sad. 26 hits.

17. Nice. She's starting to look pretty messed up, but that is her turn. On her turn, she is going to use an ability called hideous grin. You see, she smiles this black tooth smile with necrotic energy coming out. Don't look beautiful.

You specifically, you tell me. You have points to JV. I hate the way you look. I think you're heinous. Everybody, I guess except, I'll say, dead eye kind of jumped out of the way there to hide, but everybody else can me wisdom saving throws. Okay.

Nath 20 baby. Nice, you are unaffected. I'm gonna reroll my one. Sixty. Bev, you just passed. What did you get, JB? 15. You fail.

Yes. Suddenly, JB, she JB? 15. You fail. Yes. Suddenly, JB, she looks beautiful. Uh-oh. Wait, I suppose she's not half bad. She looks like an old friend. I didn't have many friends, but yes. And Balnor just goes, yeah, she seems, guys, this, she seems like one of the good ones.

Yes, I'm with his, I'm with his old man. He's shaking off bud. I think she's cute And then she's going to take a second attack. She doesn't even need to roll You see she just goes over and bites JV and JV's just cool with this Stop I don't mind the Dracula's no think about the dust mother I'm just J.V. stop! I don't mind the Dracula's. No, think about the Duskmother. J.V. you're contradicting yourself. Do you hear what you're saying? It's literally the opposite of what you've been saying the whole time.

He's just, it's in Congress. That is 20 to... Do I take a chronic damage? No, a chronic damage. Oh, that brings down your total hit points. Not in her case. She has a special ability. JV, your strength score goes down by five.

Cheese. Then that is Bortram's turn. Bortram is going to rush forward and take a crack at her and he hits, he is going to do a third level divine smite and not a boy coach. I know she looks good now, but this is the same right, JV. Don't hit her.

Does 40 damage to her. She's extremely hurt. At the end of his turn though, she is going to do another bite. And actually, Javi, you can actually redo what you're saving throw to resist charm because you did damage to you last time. So before she attacks, go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. 23. 23. Okay. You pass.

So you are kicked out of loving her or thinking she's an old friend. Oh. What? Wait a minute. Hey, you're going to use this legendary action, though, to try to take a bite at you, and she rules in that one, so that doesn't work at all. Yes. But after Bortrum's turn,

you guys see the seven fleshy people at the table begin to move and stand up. Are they like zombies? They are big, they are flesh gollums. I'm gonna go ahead and roll. This is making me feel bad, y'all, because I can turn people into zombies, and I do not like doing the same thing that Petunia does.

Yeah, somebody go ahead and roll me a D6. It's gonna be a D6 plus one. That's how many of them stick together. I've had a couple of bags. I've had some shit. Go for it. That's a six. You see all seven of them. Just complete like legs built perfectly.

She stitched them together perfectly. These perfect seven flesh golems. You made us roll for how many monsters we were gonna fight you sick roll. And then you described how perfect they were. I'm not sick. Oh wow, another one.. Flashgum sounds like a pretty stupid thing though, right? The wisdom. Yes. Bunch of goddamn Frankenstein's and Dracula's. Yeah, can't be that smart, but maybe they'll do a dance for us. Just hold on and see.

They come out in tandem. They are doing a little dance. A river dance? Yeah, they're doing a river dance like JV. JV, don't be tempted. And I will say, moon shine and JV are the ones kind of getting attacked here yeah, they're doing a River Dance like JV. JV, don't be tempted. And I will help it. I will say, Moon Shine and JV are the ones kind of getting attacked here, so they're going to concentrate their fire.

So I'll say four of them will go after Moon Shine and three of them will go after JV. Whew. All right. So four of them after Moon Shine, taking their first attack, slam down with big fleshy fists. Two of them hit on the first attack. I got resistance though.

So 25 damage, halved, so 12 damage. They're all gonna take a second attack, one crits, and another hits. The one crit for 20, so take 10. The other one hits for 14, so seven. And then these other three are gonna go after our friend JV. One hits on the first attack. The other two with 15 damage. Hey, off to JV, halfed.

They take second attacks, two of them hit. Right, 24 damage, they take second attacks, two of them hit, right? 24 damage halved to 12. That is Boundor's turn, Boundor's screams, and just swings at, I guess, Petunia. Many hits, sir. Did he break out of his, oh no, sorry. No, no he broke out.

Boundor is still. He forgot to assign the homework, no! bound or is still charmed by her Bound or just goes guys I she's on our side. What are we doing here? I thought she was kicked in all these new friends snap out of it Bound or what do you see? I bet that's your turn. All right Okay, I think I'm just gonna go for petunia. I feel like we gotta break the curse. Sweet, yeah, let's move. Okay. That's a natural 20. Nice.

Yeah. Yeah. And you know I got a smite on that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Um, 62 damage. Bev, that's finished her. Oh, yeah. I'm in, baby. Oh. Okay, Bev goes over to the flesh golems and starts river dancing. Yes. They're also river dancing.

And then I back in for JV to join me. I instantly do. So we're all river dancing, and we river dance over to where Petunia is. And then we just beat the shit out of her. Yeah, river stomped. We river stomped her Yeah, River stomped. River stomped her death. River stomped.

Tell me who? What a way to go. I was gonna say that the flesh gollums just fall down after she's dead, but I'll say they are filled with the holy light of Polar and join you in a River dance and stomped their old mom to death. No, that was my family. You made my other family turn against me. Taste out of souls.

Uh, and you guys stomped her to death and then these flesh gollums all collapse and fall apart. You see as they hit the ground, just different body parts strewn apart and it smells bad in here. Shall we go to the basement? Oh, my family! You got the moves, Slim! Yeah! Shucks. The power of God is in you, my son, doesn't know that.

Oh, yeah, Polar. Praise be to the death mother. Yeah. Polar and the desk mother are smooching on the couch. Shinderspan actually wants my class ability. I gotta be honest, I would dead I hear. It's actually not talk about the desk mother smooching Polar because Polar is actually her father.

So, oh really? I got to study up a bunch of you. You know what people are, I think she's getting silly right a little bit. Well, the gods, you know, the gods, you know, tell me, actually, tell me more about the Duskmother.

I'm not actually familiar with her. Bortram goes on a long, storied history of the Duskmother. It starts telling you about how, before the gods were all on different planes, they would have daliences with each other, and one of those was between the Raven Queen and Polore. She is the goddess of life and death.

He's the god of life and the light, and the Duskmother is a combination of the two, the goddess of light and death, the light in the darkness as it were, full of pride. So, okay. I think the thing that's beautiful here is actually y'all. So I would say the dusk community is more impressive than the dusk mother herself.

Sure. Oh, it's a fantastic community. I wouldn't say it's more impressive than her. We couldn't do without her. I think the cool thing is that none of us are wrong. I am made of ashes. I'll tell you let me make that clear. Some theologians have positive that deities are actually

projections of the qualities that most espoused by the communities who end up reviewing and worshiping this. JV is pulling the book. The book that's happening. JV go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Oh dear. 23. JV, you are able to hop back, you see that the bookcase does swing around and tries to like take you with it.

That's got Scooby-Doo. Oh, nice. Wow. All right. A little feet. What do you say? So it just fully spun around it fully spun around like is it to like trap somebody in there? Oh Oh Do we get a glimpse in as if it goes you got a glimpse in and you saw like a it looked like a hallway

But like a corner of a hallway it looked like it turned y'all let's fuck up this bookcase like a corner of a hallway. It looked like it turned. Yo, let's fuck up this bookcase. Let's turn this wall into door. You want to just break the escape room? Yeah, I think we should just go add this thing. I'm probably still in a little bit of a rage. I can burn the rest of my rage on this. I'm quite upset as well.

Then barbarians just start kicking in this fucking bookcase. We're not going to get our refund. I hate doors that are trips. And you guys, you guys kick through it. And you see that there is a very short tunnel on the other end. It curves around and it looks like it joins the next room. Like this was a trap for Petunia to come grab you.

It was not taking us to the court. You see you open up, you push on a door on the other end and it opens up the painting in the other room and you're back in Petunius room. David. So you got these two rooms down here, the dining room and that little sitting room with the fireplace. Okay, this may be a mistake to use a fourth level spell doing this, but I'm gonna cast locate creature on Scarlet. Oh sweet. Moon Shine, you get a ping below, below you guys in the house. Okay. So yeah, we're going directly down. It's a crawler on looking for

tracks. Let's just let's peel the floorboards. Let's just turn this by step side down. Um, I want to go back into the room with all the portraits of of Ambrose. Yeah. Okay. Great. Go ahead and give me an investigate. I look at that one or a perception. Uh, great. Go ahead and give me an investigate check or a perception. And I'll say no one by themselves. So if I see that, I'm gonna go in with girl. Great, yeah, I will as well.

Everybody give me investigate checks or a perception. 27. Jesus. She will do. Munchine, you are a Crick elf threw in through Well, I'm actually only have Cricks, but you grew up with the cricks y'all play with a lot of fire Yeah, moonshine you get dangerously close to the fire as you normally do

You're just like poking your head into the fireplace and stuff just like whatever They make the fire down here. I wonder and you feel it and it's hot But you notice that when you get close to it, it does not burn you. Oh yeah. So I say, hey, babe, I think your special abilities contagious and I walk into the fire. Oh, well don't do, okay.

I like stick my leg into the fire. You stick your leg into the fire, it is hot, but it's not doing any actual damage to you. And you like kick the logs apart. And you see that there is like a brick a little wall behind the fire. Tell me what you do. Brick wall behind the fire. I think I just go to town hack at that wall. You kick it and the bricks give way.

All right y'all I think we found a way. Okay. Do we, um, we have, I assume, some extra time before a scarlet and all them come back. Do we want a short rest, maybe? There's part of me that wants to just kick it here by the fire for a second. We've cleaned the house, that seems like all the way up. It seems like we're all just... Get your breath. Yeah, it seems like all the speeders we want to get, we got. Yes, we could relax.

Talk more about the dustmother if you're interested. I would definitely be interested in that. You know, it is soothing to hear y'all speak about something that you love so much. Yeah. Why don't you talk about the Deathmother and I'll do a rippa dance. I like that.

Dance into words, J.V., you are something else. So you to foot, we are light in the darkness. You know, I still love the music though. I do. Play the foot. We are lighting the darkness. See, you know, I still love the music though. I do still love the music. Well, that's the thing is they use religious art street and I can never feed a draw. You live with a connection to the numinous and then they do their goddamn fun out.

I am making a hash. Him, my God, is real. They're not the only one made of ash. And I don't contest the existence of a being known as the Duskmother I'm going to take a short rest. Yeah everybody Bound are how you doing? I'll be all right after the rest all right. Yeah, you're looking good You want me to walk on your back a little bit? It would be wonderful. Yeah, okay. You step on his back instantly such loud cracks

and really loud dad moans. Oh, don't. Don't. During the rest, I'm gonna take Ken out of the bag of holding and put his sunglasses back on and I go, I mean, y'all just had no idea how rad this wearable for. Yeah. Just such a good dude and like solid.

You know, you even just look at a guy and you're like, this guy's on the level You know, absolutely So like what would y'all get up to You know we would share whiskey and talk late into the night and he just had a way of listening You know, I just yeah, see these wearing blue jeans too. Oh, man. He could rock a bear wrangler Yeah, I mean it the ribs of the knees, that's so fun. Wow, and just a vest too.

Just the jeans and a vest. What's more hip than that? Just denim. When he was in human form, he had a necklace of wolf teeth. And he had the vest and the jeans, and you're like, this guy's fucking rules. Yeah, he can. I put some party with him.

Yeah, wow. He's still can. I do a little dance. I do kind of like, you know, McCulley Culkin in Home Alone, like dancing. So disrespect. No, I can't what a thought that shit was hilarious. See, that was my, that was my inclination.

No, he had a good galo sense of humor. You got to around here, I guess. Yeah, you sure do. You really, I got to, I got to hand it to you, Slim. You really got the moves back there. That was that River Dance. here, I guess. Yeah, you sure do. You really you were I got a I got a hand at these limb You really got the moves back there. It was that River dance. I got oh thank you I mean I'm I'm trying to book up my my quads in my legs So that I can you know be even more pliable, but I'm working with what I got no honor if you're a dead friend Not dead. What are you talking about? Did friend who's not coming back, right? Yes, tell me

Not dead. What are you talking about? Oh, dead friend who's not coming back, right? Yes, tell me. Did I my heart want to come back? Right, yes, I forgot. Yeah, vampires go on. He is coming back. Yeah. All right, this is a little too gallows for me.

You come back, you come back. But we're all joking around. We're just kidding. J.D. J.V. No, I think you come back. Knock it off. Knock it off, fellas.

You seem like you're being some sort of sarcastic. I'm very honest. Yes, really. JV. No, I think you come back. Knock it off. Knock it off. You see, might you're being some sort of sarcastic. I'm very honest. What genuine? What genuine? Normally when you smile, it's because you're angry, but now you're smiling genuine. And it's confusing. All right, y'all, you know what?

I don't, I don't got to expect your goals to line up with mine. So that's fine. If y'all want to doubt it, then go ahead and doubt it. I don't care. Yeah. It's so interesting. What are my back? You know, moonshine, I find it rather interesting that people that claim to be men of faith would have so

little faith in something that defies the imagination. Oh, how does that be? That was my fault. That's why I'm not a penance. I need to repent right now. Does Mother forgive me for dying, just screaming throughout the house? Almost like dogma exists in opposition

to an understanding of the wonderful mysteries of creation. J.V., we apologize. We're really going to apologize and repent. I prostrate myself. Let's hit ourselves. I hit myself. Oh. I can always go for a good prostration.

Yeah, let's get a little cat cow going real quick. I can't go. You guys prostrate yourselves and spank yourselves. And you guys are in front of this little false wall. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's

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through the small false wall. Let's crawl through the small, fall. Great, what gall? Puff. Y'all. Y'all. Y'all. You guys begin crawling in there. It is extremely dark. And can we say that my locate creature for Scarlet is sort of like some, it's almost like the network of mushrooms is like kind of like fire luminescently glowing to like lead me to her. That sounds pretty fucking dope.

Yeah, that's cool. So they're like sprouting along the path? Yeah, they almost like as I go, they sort of like flour it like gradient by luminescence. I'm gonna look down at my rotting chest and see some of the like bioluminescent mushrooms growing in the rot of my chest and driving the maggots out.

Oh, that feels so much better. Yeah, that's right, yeah. You know, you just gotta look out for your ecosystem. Your gut bacteria, it's very different for them for us, but gut floor is very important, even for the undead. Here's the thing, you got gut floor, I got gut fauna. Yeah, that's true, ain't that right? Found fat lower laps away to that.

Oh, oh, oh, these guys are hilarious. Love it, keep it a key key, right? Yeah, another good joke. Not offensive, thanks for that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, blue material and they get chopped to ribbons by these really left it was more of a thumbs up a thumbs down based on the jokes cleanly. Colin, Colin, Colin, Clean Yucks, Clean Yucks, Good Hustle. I could clean that loose. Can't laugh. Clean Yucks, Clean Yucks, Clean Yucks, Clean Yucks, Clean Yucks, Good Hustle, can't loose. All right, so we're crawling.

So you guys crawl and you guys see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. You see another little wall of bricks, but you see light poking through it, like the little spaces between the bricks. You can see torch light on the other side. And where are my, where are my little and your chair sense?

Still below you. Just still below, okay. Like you're getting closer. All right. Yeah, you want to send your little eyeball to spy through that hole. Sweet. You push out a little brick,

Django style and handy Andy with Dead Eye's Eye goes through. Dead Eye handy Andy finds himself on a staircase. Upstairs looks to have been collapsed. You see like brick and stone and everything, just this like natural wall of debris. But there are torches along the wall heading down. And it wraps around. So you'd like to send them down?

Sweet, go ahead and give me a stealth check. Oh, that's gonna be a 17. Okay, handy, handy. You sneak down into the Montgomery Crips. You see you're in a wide hall, vaulted ceilings. The stonework on the floor and the walls has this pale blue color. It's all dusty and dirty. You can only see a little bit. There is torchlight.

And you see statues of the Montgomery family. You see that there are three on one side, three on the other. You see that the ones of Dolly and Priscilla are connected, not in like the skin graft way, in a like sanitized version of them, and you even see like the one of Bo. He looks like very regal and like put together,

even though you know he's a piece of shit in real life. And, uh, dead eye as handy and the snakes down there, a giant, Hulk-sized hand, fucking grabs your hand and your eyeball and crrrr, just busts your fucking eye in hand. And everything goes black. I think dead eyes passed out You guys just see you guys dead. I doesn't even tell you what's going on You guys just see dead. I pass out. Can I cast cure? Can I cure them? Sure. Yeah, give them a cure wounds

Go ahead and cast cure wounds on All right, that's 10 10 hit points Dead eye you you stir and you come back up. Eye is missing, you have no contact with it. You don't feel your hand anymore. Oh, that's so bad, y'all. What's wrong? I gave up everything for that eye.

There's something down there. Ambrose is down there or something else. What happened? It's a crypt with the Montgomery's and something came down and grabbed Andy and destroyed him. Destroyed my handi. Destroyed my handi. Destroyed my handi.

Is destroyed? We can't get it back? I, uh, I don't know. I don't know. Let's ask them. Let's get down there and ask some questions. I think we should get down there and ask some questions. I think we should get down there and you saw the tombs though, right? A little.

Yeah, I saw them. Alright, well let's try and go down there and... There's a monster down there waiting for us. Yeah, I know. I assumed that's much. Alright. Okay, I'm very sorry for what happened, Dad. Are you okay? Do you... I guess I'm trying to understand. Do you need us to pause or do you want to go down there. This is so bad. Yeah.

That I'm getting that sense. And, um, you know, but, uh, there's no use crying over spill milk. And I suggest we just head on down there. Um, I am a little shocked because destroying my eye and my hand maybe should make me from existence but it hasn't so that's exciting. What was the significance of this eye in hand? Well, dead eye is a name I got because of the eye. I wasn't called dead eye when I was born. Meemawden name you dead eye. It's a cool name.

It's like a meemaw name. Oh it's yeah, no, that's an assumed name. I think you're gonna be fine. Look at that eye. That's a good looking eye. Yeah, the one you've got left. Thanks, partner. It's nice and grotesque.

Hey, I appreciate it. Well, listen, I'm gonna be a little less useful in this upcoming fracas that we're headed towards. But you know what, I'm not destroyed. So it feels like maybe I've just been, it's possible that my eye and hand are down there, maybe broken and squished, but maybe if I get the goo back in the socket

and a little bit of healing happens, who knows, well, you know. Yeah, if we can find it, I'm sure we can do a greater restoration on it. Okay. Well, I love you brother I'm looking out for you. I'm trying to finish the job. I'm also trying to look out for you You know, you say the word if it's too much and we got a reconfigure. Can you can you stand? Yeah, oh, I can stand just fine. Do you need do you need a borrow pop-up during this so that he can help me load your bullets? I could just put them in your rib cage. Rainer, you're your pop-up nods.

All right, pop-up, we gotta get to work. He'll be your second hand. Yeah. Uh, I am going to take pop-up, and I'm gonna whip some twine around from my coat and tie him to the stump of my other, uh, of my other house. Can I get in real close to my baby's face

and say, Papa, I have kept you out of battle for long enough? Rare. I know, you got the brains, but now it's time to prove you got the brown. Forotious beast these things, I hear. One told my throat out.

No, I know. Papa nods solemnly. And Brandon, I said, we had talked before that if you didn't have your eye or your hand, you'd have disadvantage, but with Papa, you'll just be a base regular old attack. Cool, great. Papa's first battle. This is a warrior. We're just ratatou the situation I've ever seen

All right, y'all let's do this all right, Papa I want to give him a little war paint too. Oh, I'm nervous for him He's got some vampire blood on him now I'm gonna go and activate my sword as we descend sweet it close I'll go into My second funglem fungle form nice my sword as we descend. Sweet it goes. I'll go into my second Fungo Form. Nice. Munchang goes into Fungo Form. And you guys see Bortrum's sword is going to glow white and he is going to cast aura of life. It's going to give everybody resistance to necrotic damage, and you can have your hit point total moved down.

It's a concentration spell, but it'll help you, it'll help you for a little bit. Yes. All right. Let's use a combination of religion, but also ourselves. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

In the beautiful way. All right, mostly the dust mother, but yes, mostly, really, mostly God, mostly God, most certainly the dust mother, but yes, some of the other J.B.s got it right. I think it's time we include ourselves in the pantheon. Just a little bit. Wow, that's cute.

All right, Papa, when I yell pull, you pull. Ram. So you're going to be reloading and he's going to be firing the gun. I'm gonna take Reba off my back and so my left hand is on the gun stock and Pawpaw's on the trigger. I'm so proud, my baby. Go on in battle for the first time. Fucking amazing.

So are you guys all just like going in their guns of blazing? Yes. I think we're gonna trust. Moonshine symbiotic entities, Bortrim's sword glows white, Papa and dead eye, ready, Reba. And are you in a rage, Davie? I'm gonna go into an angry ribadance.

An angry astidevadance, the fiercest my legs have ever moved. He's feet are a blur. Angrily, river river dance down the stairs in Torscript. You guys get down there. It's full on ocean dance. You guys get down to the bottom and you see torches lighting this room, pale blue stone statues

of the different members of the Montgomery family. Further down, it looks a little bit darker. It's not lit by torches. You do not see one of Ambrose yet, but you can assume it might be down the end of the hall. You can't see all the way down there yet. You just see three on one side, three on the other. And as you guys enter the room, you hear a roar.

As this giant lumbering vampiric beast, did I you assume this is Wyatt Montgomery? Like the incredible Hulk, he's wearing like shredded human clothes, he's got like green pants and suspenders and a white button up with sleeves rolled up and tears where his massive muscles bulge. He's got the trademark Montgomery silver hair, but it's short and matted and his face is far more beach-gheel than the other vampires. He's got a thick severe brow and a face like an ape with fangs and he on all fours charges towards you guys and you guys see swarms

of bats skitter out from the crypts everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Oh, it's a 20. Yes. 19. It's a little 20. I'm not 20. Yep. Good for you. 21, 23. Okay, JV, you go first with a 23. Okay, JV is going to excuse me everybody, but. Ah! Yeah! Oh, I'm quite mad! Cause I ain't drinkulous! Trotson!

This is the maddest you've ever seen, JV. This is, I'm channeling my zealous presence, which is going to inspire everybody, and you now have advantage on attack rolls and saving throws until my next turn. Whoa! That's fucking good. How many people can you do that, too?

I can do it up to 10. Whoa! That's great! Good How many people can you do that too? I can do it up to 10. Whoa, that's great. Good for you. Oh yeah, thank you. Sweet, thank you. Do you get to do an attack too, or is that just? Yes, it's as a bonus action. Excellent.

Okay, to make my two. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Great. So I'm going to attack and it's going to be reckless. Yeah. 23 hits. 19. Okay hits. 19.

Okay, it takes 19 damage. Net 20. Woo! Very, very good. That's great. 31. Freakin' JV runs forward. Inspires all of you with how much you love the Lord.

And the sum of things. And I hate Dracula. Meets fucking Wyatt, this giant beast vampire head-to-head and start slashing at him. Um. JV, we're gonna have to start calling you varsity. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I like that. Just another clean joke for y'all. At the end of your turn, why it is going to take a legendary action and is going to swing a great axe.

So pulls this giant axe from his side, swings down on JV, axe against axe, that is an 18 to hit. It does. 19 slashing damage. Haft. Haft. So that's nine. And the necrotic damage, which is also

going to be haft because of Bortram's thing. Ooh. 17 necrotic damage. That's half. And then that's half. OK. So eight, that is Dead Eyes Turn. This is really just indicative of how all of these fights

have gone, which is that there are two people going ahead of Bev who rolled in at 20. That's why my vampires haven't done shit. Spend a grip point, make this a violent shot. Well you also have advantage on your attack rolls because of the Hell yes, my zealousness Love it. Honestly, JV for the first time maybe I'm into it Yeah Oh my god Reba Miss fires

Oh What? With advantage I rolled a nat one and a nat five And because it was a violent shot the misfire score goes from two to three, so I go, pull, pop, pop, pop, it bites it way too hard, and the whole trigger just comes off. Where, where, oh, damn it, all right, forget it.

Here you go, here you go. Good effort, and I'll go, town redeem yourself, pop, pop, and I'm gonna move, pop, pop, down to grab Louanne off my head. Scramble down, grab, grabs it, brings it back. Super apologetic. Full level, like presenting the side of my body,

stiff arm with Paw Paw at the end. Oh my God, Louanne. Oh! If this were a legal battle, Paw Paw would've been. He scrambles down the end of your arm, goes over to the Trigger and pulls it with his teeth. Yeah. Mom Paw Paw.

Technically, you're not murdering anyone. Okay, this is gonna be, we're gonna spend another grip point for another, another violent. Nat 20, reggae. That's gonna be a reggae, another Bob point. Bob, I like gently moves your, Bob, it gets like up to the um, crosshairs and like gently moves your hand and then together you fire. Incredible. Okay, Jesus. So many dyes. 47 damage on the first hit.

Jesus. And let's go ahead and call that an action surge and we'll spend another grip point to make this one a violent shot as well. 17 plus 12 is 29. Super hits. You and Papa are just, Papa just didn't like re by bank. He feels much more comfortable with this big gun. Yeah.

Bam, bam. We're losing it. We're losing it. We're losing it's the magical side piece. I got it. I got it. Yeah. He's got to be like holding it with his four and hind paws.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Incredible. Just like mounting this gun. 28 damage on the next attack. Nice. And we're gonna do the last grit point here for another violent shot. Wow.

Come on. Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Papa just like furiously scrambling back and forth. Just spitting up milk. Where to get milk? Bam! I'll give him a little milk pouches. Uh, 25. That hits. Like a Canadian milk pouch.

Yeah, like one of those ones that they tried to do in the States and didn't work out. He's sloppy. Yeah, 26 damage on the last attack. Nice. Uh, you light this dude up. He's much earlier than the other vampires, but you see he is like staggering back as he's fighting against JV.

I'm gonna do bonus action stealth. The high behind one of this for a copy guy. That's a 28 stealth check. Nice. Bev, that's your turn. Okay, I'll take your turn. That's 20, yeah. All right, here we go.

I'm going to reaching up and swing in at this dude. Yeah, I think I'm just gonna follow suit with everyone else Roll with a bandage roll with advantage and just trying to get in this mix That's in at 20 Fucking Sometimes I think your dice are weighted bed. Yeah, you've had insane Well, I had some shitty rolls earlier in the session. True. I think, listen, just let me have this.

All right, all right, yeah, you're due. We can test the dice after this episode. You guys are due. Cool, yeah, just let me have this, please, Murf. What I'm going to do here is a second level divine, Smite. 56 damage total on my first attack. These explosion of radiant energy lights up the entire crypt.

You see at the other end of the hall is a statue of Ambrose sitting atop a throne. I point at him, a comma shot. Next. And then I guess I'll take another attack. Why they heck not? Sweet. That's going to be a 20 to hit, not net. Super.

But advantage. Advantage. Oh right. I'm going to go with the first one. Cool. Alright, so let me just go ahead and do a normal attack. That's going to be just 12 extra damage. Starting to look, a little messed up.

Alright. That's going to be just 12 extra damage. Starting to look, a little messed up. All right. Wyatt is going to use a legendary action to do a bite on our friend, JV here. I know. Always going for JV. That's a nat 20 for Wyatt. Everybody's pretty. Everyone is creating. It is.

It is, honestly, about time that I crit. Because I'm getting a womp. I'm getting my bell wrong. And this is not okay. And it's a big gothic bell too. 32, oh, necrotic damage. So turn down to 16. But that, oh, and your hit points

can't be permanently lowered. So just 16 damage. Okay. And then that is actually his turn. So now he's going to take his turn. That was just a bite. So now he's going to take a great axe attack and that's 17 ahead on you, JV. 17 is my AC. Does that hit? That does hit. 21 regular damage, slashing damage, damage, slashing damage, halved to 10. Nine Necrotic damage, halved to 4. That's the first axe attack, takes a second axe attack, and hits.

17 slashing damage, halved to 8. 12 Necrotic damage, halved to 6. Moonshine, that is your turn. Okay, I wanna make a B-line for Scarlet's coffin. I would like to run a Scarlet's coffin, crack it open a touch, but with my body weight on it, and then it casts a second level,

create water and put 20 gallons of water inside our coffin. Holy shit. Munchine, you crack open. But I'm still holding the clothes with my body. Yeah, moonshine, you find the statue of Scarlet. Next to it is a coffin in between these little like partitions. And you find a coffin, you run over to it, you open it. You see inside Scarlet is regenerating.

She looks like extremely weak and looks, she looks like skeletonly thin with just like a thin layer of skin atop her. As soon as you open up the casket, she opens her eyes. I give her a quick, hey bitch, then fill her up with water. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Fill the entire casket with water. You just, ah! And then you just are closing the coffin? I'm keeping it closed. I'm keeping it like, I'm keeping my body, wait on it. And you close it up. Hell yeah. Good turn.

At the end of Moon Shines turn, why it is going to take a legendary action in Swings Great Axe at JV. I feel like I'm being picked on. Yeah. That's 20 to hit. Yes. 21 slashing damage, halved to 10,

12 necrotic damage, half to six. Yes. Okay. Then after that, you guys see eight swarms of bats descend on Bortrum. They spin around him and begin attacking him furiously. Uh, he's holding up this sword of pure light. One of them hits on the first attack. One of them hits on the first attack.

Three of them hits on the second attack. 20 damage total to our friend, Bortram. Bortram needs to succeed on a constitution saving throw. Well, it was a NAT6 fails. You guys no longer have your aura of life. You see his blade dims a little bit. You guys see in the swarm of bats around Bortrim suddenly,

woof, one turns into an elder vampire, Ambrose Montgomery, and sinksink's teeth into Bortram. Coach! Oh, that's my friend! Remember, what did we say? What was our clear eyes for? I can't remember it. Clean, clean jokes.

Clean jokes. Full hearts, can't laugh. Full of clean yucks. Clean yucks. Full hustle. Full hustle. Full hustle. Look, clean yucks, Clean yucks. Full hustle. Full hustle. Full hustle. Look, clean yucks.

Good hustle. Can't laugh. Yeah. Clean yucks. You got a hustle more than that. No matter how so, can stop a vampire. So he takes right off the bat. Bat.

Right off the bat. A big joke. 15, what? 15 piercing damage. It's trying to keep going, man. And then takes 20 necrotic damage from the bites. And Ambrose pulls back, I hate the way y'all taste, but I'm gonna love Ashen You.

And Bortram is starting to look a little bit fucked up. He's going to take a claw attack. You see Ambrose has these big vampire claws hits on the first claw attack. 15 damage then takes a one last claw attack and does 17 damage. Bortram is starting to get pretty hurt. He's a pretty hardy guy though. At the end of Ambrose's turn, Wyatt is going to take another act swing at JV. Right? Why not? Nat 20. Oh quick picking on JV! It's like I'm the only one here I mean you do just go back to an earn not against the what not against my camera. Oh wait. I thought it oh Nope, nope, nope, okay. I thought it was just the bullets, but no 21 slashing damage half to 10 oh my baby and

Then this necrotic damage is just gonna fully go through. 16 necrotic damage. All right. Still alive, still alive? Hell yeah. Oh, that's great. Stays up. We have varsity, go get it.

That is a Boundor's turn. Boundor is gonna try to help Bortram here and is gonna start swinging at the bats around him. Boundor doesn't have a magic weapon. It's not even worth Balnor doing like two damage to the dude. Balnor fucking crits. Wack those bats! Wack in the bats. You never know which one's gonna be a vampire. Very true! You never know. We forget Balnor does 22 damage, fully kills one of the swarms of bats. Nice. That's awesome. Takes another swing and hits

and halves another one of the swarms. Then the herd, buddy. At the end of Boundorse Turn, Ambrose is going to take a legendary action and bite into Bortram. Natural 20. That is 47 damage on the bite. You guys see, Ambrose has just like latched on to Bortram's back. Bortram is swinging his light-filled long sword at the bats around him, completely frazzled, bound or trying to get him off of him.

And this elder vampire bites into Bortram. You see Bortram kind of staggers forward, looks up at you guys and he goes, protect Grimhawk and then, shh, what's the ass? What's the ass? And is gone. Just you see, when you guys saw the other guys,

like, turn to ash, you saw like kind of like a mist fly away. He is just gone. Just you see, when you guys saw the other guys like, turn to Ash, you saw like kind of like a mist fly away. He is just gone. He crumbles. You've done a bad thing to a good man. And you see his sword goes from like this bright white to just a regular long sword and clashes against the ground. That is... Go to your reward.

JV's turn. Right! I'm very upset you killed my friend. I didn't have many of them. I'll look at the lead's amulet. Please take a gander. Very nice. Get an amulet.

Get an amigander. Drinking amigands it. I'm gonna keep on swinging at the big boy, beef daddy. Do it out. Beef son, that's so frustrating. It was on a 19 and it rolled down my paper on to it. Oh, 15. 15, does not hit.

All right. And you're probably swinging pretty emotionally. I will take my second attack. 24 hits 20 why it is looking pretty pretty pretty hurts There's a varsity go and get him very sad. We're gonna get you a jacket unless I'm good use of here is a good use of your emotions. I'm quite I feel ill That's okay. Hey, sick to my stomach.

JV, no more rage as a shield. Turn it into a spear. I will become a weapon again. Just for this, just this one. Just one time. At the end of JV's turn, I think why it is out of legendary actions, but Ambrose is not. Ambrose is going to, everybody just roll me a luck check to see who he runs up to.

I got three. I guess you're a dead-eye's hidden, so not a dead-eye. Okay. I've rolled two natural 20s this episode, but also like three natural ones. Can I reroll that? I got a three. That was a net 20.

Thank you. Well, this wasn't like a half-length thing. This was just, I don't want Ambrose to like, you know, pick on somebody for no reason, but you rolled the one. Well, Ambrose is gonna go after you. It's gonna pick on me. So Ambrose, I'll say you probably look to be

the holiest besides Bortrum. So after taking out Bortrum, it's gonna charge forward and take a legendary action swipe at you with his claws And he does hit good. I wanted you close. Oh Good you want me to turn you boy? That is 23 damage. Oh Something's gonna turn all right. Oh, is that right? And then that is dead ice turn. So you've got Wyatt looking pretty messed up You've got Bortram fucking gone.

JV's pretty messed up and Brut, JV's better. Okay, I look to the amulet. I won't keep trained on Wyatt and we're gonna focus fire We gonna pick him off one by one. I'm the herd. Don't time to get to work Yeah, go on, Bob. Oh, rare This is for I think dead eye is full like Saloon fighting. He like leaps from one sarcophagus horizontal in the air. Bam, bam, bam. His Pappa.

Pappa has turned the wimple into a little cowboy head. Pappa. If I don't see fan art of Pappa lashed to Dead Eye's lonely stump with them both wearing cowboy hats, then what was the point of any of this? What was the point of any of this? Oh, that's gonna be a 30.

I'm attacking from hidden hits. This is gonna be 16 damage to Wyatt, okay. I'd like to take a bonus action to hide again this turn in between attacks, if that's okay. I think you can split up bonus actions between attacks. I'm not sure. You know why don't you do an acrobatics check to see how fast you roll in.

Cool. 20, 30, 20. Yeah, you're good. All right, we're gonna make a stealth check here. That's gonna be a 24 stealth check. Well, you had. My son. This will be, all right.

So I'm gonna roll with advantage on this attack as well. Sweet. 19 plus 12 is 31 super hits, so this is gonna be Seven damage wow a polite close Clap I mean who's paying attention to the damage you were flying through the air with a possum tide your arms I mean, who was paying attention to the damage? You were flying through the air with a possum tide, you're on, you look great. Yeah, sure.

At the end of a dead ice turn, Embrose takes another claw attack on Bev and hits. 14 damage. Okay. And that is your turn, Bev. Wonderful. So you've got Wyatt looking pretty messed up. And then you've got Embrose on you,. So you've got Wyatt looking pretty messed up.

And then you've got Ambrose on ya, and then you've got all these bats. Okay, so I'm going to just go ahead and prepare a branding smite. Sweet. He's up close on me. Uh-huh. Uh, I'm just going to slash at him. And then Ambrose or Wyatt? I'm going to slash at Ambrose.

Ambrose is like, Ambrose just slash me. I'm going to slide off in the mix with him. I'm gonna take advantage of that fact nice Does a 21 hit super hit all right Third level smite I think wait, oh brandy I don't like that very much. Okay branding spite. I actually I'm going to let me flop that I'm going to, let me flop that. I'm going to do the branding spite at third level. Okay, so that's going to be three D6 radiant damage,

an addition to my normal damage, and then I'm going to tack on and divine some item first level onto that. My God, okay. Brennan is rubbing off on me. I can see Brennan masturbating over here. Yeah, that'm so good. It's so good to do the damage.

Oh, it's fun to know the game. Hey, Brian, we can have dinners too. 32. 32. Yeah, I'm a binge. So on my first attack, I do 32 damage. My blade glows. And for the first time, runes appear on it.

And before I strike, I like swing and begin to strike. I flip the blade sideways and I spank his ass. Nice. And I leave my Beverly brand on it, which is like a cool little logo that I designed in math class. He is extremely injured by your bevel logo, which looks like that cool S except a B.

Yes. He staggers back. Which looks like the the that cool S except to be Yes, he staggers back. He is very composed But did not like that radiant damage one bit. I don't give him like that one bit I don't give him a chance to recover his posture. I'm going in for my second attack. Oh shit That's going to be that hits 27 super heads. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I would hold back. I'm going to go and do the Divine Smite. Sweet. Okay, and that's 25 damage on the next attack. Nice.

Okay, you mess him right up. That concludes my turn. Sweet, Bev, you see that as you're slashing into Ambroseco. I think you made a perception check. Great. Ooh, I think it's just a nine. Nine. Okay.

You don't notice anything. You're just in like a fury fighting against Ambrose here. That is why it's turn on why it's turn. Just going to keep, actually, you know what? I'm gonna have why it do an intelligence saving throw to see whether he does the smart thing and keeps trying to crack at JV or whether he gets emotional and tries to go help his dad. He's just this big monster.

That is a natural 17. He has a minus three to intelligence, so that's a 14. I'll say that he's able to keep composed enough to keep cracking it our bud JV here Smah and he hits the right play Gotta respect the hustle 18 slashing damage half to nine seven necrotic damage Yes, and then is going to try to bite ya Nat 20 oh Christ

Dust mother I've got a boo-boo. My neck, my back. My funny. 28 damage. That after his bite's not halved. Bite's not halved. It's an acratic damage. You okay?

Yes. I probably shouldn't do that again. Once was enough. Is that his whole turn? That is his whole turn. You see he's sucking the ash out of you. And you guys see JV looks like he's starting to fade away too. And why it looks to be getting strength from messing with our friend JV here. Mooshine, that's your turn.

Protect my turn. Protect, promote. I am going to, so what's going on with Scarlet? You looked at her, she is a skeleton who looked like she struggled to open her eyes. She can't open this up. Really? She's dead, yeah. Oh, okay, cool.

Then I'm just gonna like real quick take a tiny shit in there. So she's just gonna ask me quick take a tiny shit in there I love the tawny shits. Okay, so I'm gonna go over and I'm gonna attack Wyatt sweet Fucking damn well, maybe I still hit 16 to 16 hit 16 does hit yeah bitch I am for 20, fours and for 12, and then I'm gonna do, so that's gonna be a 32, I hit Y for 32, and then I'm gonna do a level four healing word on JV.

Thanks. What do you say to me? The healing word is varsity. Hahaha. Who raw? Okay, Wyatt went from being on Death's Door to sucking a bunch of life at a JV and looking a little better on Death's Door again. End of Moon Shine's turn is going to, you know what, he's going to shift focus and swing

down on Moon Shine. Are you know what? 18. Yeah. He's going to go ahead and take a bite on moonshine with a legendary action. Bum. Shout out to the three Cree. 15 to hit with spake time.

Cree! Yes! Swarms of bats are gonna fly over to defend their daddy Ambrose and go after Bev here. All missed. A lot of attacks. Stupid bats. Ha ha ha. You can't touch this ass.

Ha ha ha. It's too flit. It's true, Bev. If you want to build up that thing, you are going to make it more of a target. It's a devil's bargain. Ha ha ha ha. The swarm hits you for 12 on their second round of attacks.

At the end of the bat's turn, Wyatt is going to take another crack in moonshine, shout out to the two crew, misses with his ass. Yeah, three great two crew, showing up. My man is already out of legendary actions. He did a bad job this round, but that is Ambrose's turn. Ambrose is going to go after Bev. He's going to take his first claw attack,

shout out to the two crew. Yes, this is big time. Second attack, shout out to the three crew. Wow, what ever dies you are using, keep using it. Oh, I'm going for it. I'm going to use a different dice. What a good one? As he takes his bite attack, I have in five.

He gets a 21 to hit. Oh, that just hits just hits. Okay, so bad. Oh, no the bites gonna give him a strength back Let's take out this fucking why it 12 piercing damage. Okay, 12 Necrotic damage that mean it lowers my total. Yes, okay by 12 all right Damage that mean it lowers my total. Yes. Okay by 12 all right Then that is Balnor's turn on palnor's kind of rush at these fucking bats Hits on the first attack takes out one of these half batswarms back dead bad dead

It's the other one back Knocks another one down to half five and a half batswarms left No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, takes a, Amberos takes a legendary swipe at Bev and does hit. And then it's going to do... Legendary swipe, that doesn't ask. A swipe of legendary proportions. Legend. You saw me on Boy Tender and did a legendary swipe. 21 slashing damage to you, Bev. Uh-oh.

Legendary swipe on Tinder is when you match with somebody and you match with all their Facebook friends at the same time. Oh. You swipe so hard it deletes the ass. That's not your product. No. Swipe! JB, that's back up to you.

Oh, right. I will ricklessly attack Hulk Dracula. Sweet. Yeah. Vickula. 27 hits. 28. That is a lot of damage on Death's Door barely alive take my second rickless attack Yeah, Rick losing fogum up 23 hands tackle

13 JV finish Oh Good Lord I Woo! Yeah! Wyatt Montgomery. Yeah. Oh, good lord. I, I um, grab my axe. I, I put it in both hands like a cane and I river dance towards him. And I chop off his head like it's, uh, like, uh, I'm hitting a baseball.

Chop off his head, um, he turns to ash. That's for Bortram. You fuck. Ha ha ha. Uh, end of JV's turn, Ambrose takes a swipe at Bev. Uh oh. That is 19 hit, doesn't hit? Doesn't hit, sweet.

Yeah. Dead eyes turn. Oh, thank God. All right, we're gonna make a stealth check bonus action to attack from hiding. That's a Nat 20. Yeah! Yeah! Papa was just really doing a good job now. Papa, Papa, Papa, what a rig. bonus action to attack from hiding. That's a Nat 20. Yay!

Papa's just really doing a good job now. Papa, what a relief. What a relief. What a love that went on the attack role, but you know what? Talk about a critter. Ha ha ha. That's a nice clean joke. Ha ha ha.

Very clean, very clean. Take that joke in the bath with you. Definitely. That's gonna be a 24 to hit. Sweet hits. I'll not be in mean as someone else is dead. That's gonna be 16 radiant damage to Ambrose Montgomery. Sweet.

And I'm gonna use my second attack to reload Luan. And I'm, Pobble, get it done! Reen! Reen! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Huh? It just starts fiercely spitting bullets. RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING End of Dead Eyes turn, Embrace takes another swipe at Bev and hits. Oh shit.

15 damage, Bev's down, Bev goes down from a slash though. That's true, we got you. That is Bev's turn, Bev go ahead and give me a death saving throw. Gladly. Mom. Oh, that's an 18, 18, that's a pass. That is Moonine's turn. Okay.

I am going to, you know what, I'd like to healing word young Beverly, so I'm going to just, yeah, I think I'm just gonna straight up attack Ambrose. Sweet. We have Rosalene. Shout out to the two crew. Okay.

But I will also healing word, young Bev. But I will still, I will still spore them for 12. Nice. Uh, and then he'll barely, I'll do a third level. Okay. What was that gave me? Only 14. Bare in my name was a bonus action.

So I was trying to do some damage. I'm gonna try it hit. I'm just trying to get you back to your feet. I'll give you more heals later. Hey, so you're gonna be back up. Let's kill this dad. Yeah, let's go this dad. Bev pops back up.

That is the bats turn. Bats are all going to descend on Beverly. That's on Bev, they all miss on the first attack. They are not great at fighting. One hits on the second attack. For a big, four damage. Beth? No. I've tried River Dancing, it didn't work.

And then he is going, Ambrose is gonna take his cracks at Bev, takes his first swipe. 21 to head. That hits. 12 damage. Oh, I'm down again. Bev goes right back down. It turns to moonshine, takes a second claw.

Come on, come on. Hits, that's a 29 to hit. It does hit, surprisingly. 21 damage, slashing, so halved. No, I'm not in the bar. I'm not barring right now. OK, and then it's going to to bite you, Moonshine. 30 to hit. Oh, actually that doesn't hit my arm,

I'm gonna call it a 31. Moonshine, you take 14 piercing damage, 20 necrotic damage. That's 63 damage, but luckily I still got hit points left. Very good. That is- Just a handful, just a small handful. It's mattering. That is Balnor turn. Boundor is going to rush forward and jump at the bats.

Hits. Bless you Boundor. Takes out another thing of bats. Goes after another one. Hits. And does a lot of damage to another swarm of bats. Still bats? Still bats. At the end of Bounder's turn, takes legendary swipe at moonshine hits.

Okay. That's a 20 to hit. That hits. Okay. 19 slashing damage. Is there anything else coming my way? Uh, not on this legendary action, no. I'm still standing!

Yes! She's still standing. Sturdy! I have one hit point. Oh! One st- one st- what's Sturdy point? That's a Sturdy shroom. That is...

A big point. Uh, JV's turn. Uh, JV's gonna take a full dash action and, and, Lete, just get it. I don't know. I fucking hate you, Dracula's! JP is gonna take a full dash action and leave just get I fucking hate you Dracula's Bortron's not here anymore, and I think I'm gonna kiss Gonna take a reckless attack at Ambrose, okay, oh

Net 20 32 32 damage. Yeah, yeah. First it's, yeah, he had sucked a bunch of life out of moonshine. Now is looking back to how he was. Great medium. Out attack him again. Yep. 20, not net.

Hits. 19. 19 damage. 19. Uh, 19 damage. Nice. Uh, that is, um, end of JV's turn. Ambrose's gonna take a legendary action and swipe in moonshine, net 20. Bye bitches.

No. 24 damage. Not, let me knock down. Okay, moonshine goes down. That is... Dead Eyes turn. You blood-sucking bourgeois pig. You're dirty fangs of my sister!

Paw-paw, you pull! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b sprinting straight for him. Nice. Run out, fucking pop-aws pulling at the trigger. I do have a question though since I only had one hit point left. He, oh he took a swipe to be right. So he wasn't taking... Yeah the bites take multiple legendary actions and he's got to keep you guys all down. There's too many of you. Worst comes to worst I guess. Hard one can just come back to life and avenge us. Well I mean my angel. He's at least got his identity. So fucking sad. Oh, I'm 18 to hit 18 hits. Okay. 17 damage to Ambrose. I sweet. I'm gonna run up. That's the 17 damage. Take

another attack on him. Did I just run in down the hall firing on this dude? shining bev down? This one's a radiant bullet 29 to hit 29 hits 10 damage and yeah that is is just gonna close right on top. He's like getting up in his shit, like melee. Gets up in his shit.

Okay, dead eye, you get up in his shit. Are you back far enough that he can attack you with a melee attack right away? Are you getting right up on him? I'm getting, I don't want him to swing moonshine watches down. Okay, I'm getting right up on him. Dead eye, you get up at him and he's going to swing at you

with his claws as a legendary action, his last one of the turn. And he hits the swipe for 13 damage, just slashing. That is Bev's turn. Bev, go ahead and give me a dead saving throw. I'm on Bith. It's a natural 20. Oh, don't look back. You pop back a 20.

One, two, one. Back with one. Yes. Biff, with a, with a nat 20, you fucking pop back up with one HP and you look down to where Bortram fell. Yeah. And you see, you saw his sword was glowing bright white.

You saw it turned back to a regular long sword and then started clashing on the floor. You see as you wake up, you jolt awake, you see the sword on the floor is glowing gray. Gray? You know, I believe you pop up at the end of your turn. No, no, no. You pop up at the beginning of your turn.

Nice. You have a full action and a movement. Watch it. And a free object interaction if you wanted to say pick up a weapon on the ground. D&D, Lulior. Is it my turn? It is your turn.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, I just, I pump moonshine with 40 HP. Yeah, buddy. Moonshine pops back up looking healthy. And I just break into a sprint towards this sword sweet you rush over You pick it up you feel Surging holy power in your hand. I turn back around

With one HP I'm limping a little bit But I just prepare to walk towards Ambrose and as I, I recite the Grey Knights Creed. As paladines and demons clash, I shall now take my oath of ash. Through wicked light and holy dark, I shall become a silver spark. Like morning mist that guards the day, I shall become a knight of gray. Caloo, Calay, Calu, Calu! And I swing as hard as I can.

You don't have to touch my back. What? You don't have another action. Oh, okay. But you rush forward. But you're super injured and you're limping. All right, but I'm rushing towards him. You're rushing towards him. And I'm saying that.

That is Moonshine's turn. And Moonshine, you're fucking popped back up. I'm pop back up. And you see the tides have fucking turned. You see Ambrose looks very concerned. Now it was looking very confident a moment ago. Very concerned. All right then, I guess instead of thinking about healing,

I'm just gonna lighten and bowl him. Suites. I'm gonna go ahead and lighten and bowl him for fifth level. Oh my God. He does get a dexterity saving throw. Okay. Natural five. That's gonna naturally fail. All right. I just rolled three sixes in a five on my first roll. So six 666, the power of the devil's in me. Jesus. But I still have more to roll. 45.

Whoo. This is this is this. Moonshine, no fucking joke. He had 45 hit points. Oh, yeah! Ah! Moonshine, finish him. I want to with my bolt of lightning push him

onto Beverly's gray sword So he just get skewered like the kebabs we had for lunch before we record My god lightning hits him. He begins to seize. He staggers towards Beverly Beverly rushes forward stabs him this explosion of holy light and he Turns to mist and you guys are left in this tomb out of combat. The bats, the bats scatter as soon as the banners still swing in at them but they fly off. Looshine? Yeah.

Let's water the garden. Yes, let's water. Oh yeah, yes. Now I'm going around and I'm doing create water on all the on all the crib you go through All of the different caskets next to each statue They are all in various states of I would like to generation all of them though. I peek it open soon as they're they see me as a Habbage water Whaling and bow are conscious enough to see you and go oh fuck

And you've covered them in water. You guys know just from like vampire lore and everything, these guys cannot fucking regenerate with a casket full of water. The other guys have recently been misted. You do see fog in there. You fill it up with water and put the case back on the caskets, and you guys do see,

at the end of the haul, set up differently than the rest of the caskets, is this statue of Ambrose Montgomery, sitting atop a throne. You see the throne is like this stone block, and you see this little cubby hole, and there is a handle as if to pull out like a coffin or something. Well first off, babe, I'm sorry I didn't heal you

but I felt like it feels like he regenerates so I wanted to I felt like we could just take him out then. I've never not trusted your intuition and I'm not starting now. I just wanted to clarify that. Oh, I just saw you fall down. Oh, did I bring it in? I'm feeling fine. Oh, God. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ingenuity. You see he nudges he nudges dead eye looks his face. No man. Hey, take the compliment. You have a natural talent for gunslingin

generosity great generosity You mean you got a cool head under fire friend. I shouldn't explain any less from the bullet out of his mouth He was gonna try and swallow that that is a true thing. I'm unlash Pawpaw and hand him gently back to moonshine. Come on in. Come back into the bib, baby. We all got to bring it in, right? Yeah, bring it in everyone, bring it in.

Should we get over here, Balnor? Come on. Love the hug. He picks for killing all the best. Oh, it's just interesting to add that. I haven't fought with people that I cared about for a long time. I'm, uh, whoo, that's very hard emotionally. Oh yeah, love is the hardest whiskey.

Can you understand? Yeah, being a sneaky type, you probably tend to be out of the way a little bit. Oh, I don't fight ever. I just murder people. Yeah. I'm mostly not interested in long combat. Yeah. Whoo, that's a lot. Well, it was an honor to fight beside you. Sister you and kid. We almost all survived. Yeah, JV. I forgot. My first round. I'm so sorry. How you feeling? It's all right. You know, I think that maybe you could kind of turn the our lady of penance

in a new direction in Institute of Lucer policy with some of the curse words and what not. Yeah. What the heck? No. Can't laugh. Do you guys want to take like a little short rest or you guys invest it? What are you guys doing with this?

You see a handle under the statue on like the block part looks like the handle to a huge drill. So I wanna get that gem though. Do we see that gem anywhere? You don't see it anywhere. It might be in that little cubby. Yeah, thanks so. So it is just to be clear, it is a very big cubby.

It looks like something a coroner would use. Yeah, oh, so you're saying we can't just drown him, same as we drown everyone out. You would need to pull on whatever this is. Okay, well, I guess let's. Hey, why don't you all take a step back and let me pull on this thing? Okay, Dad, we got your back though.

Jamie, you brought up a good point, which was that the last time we opened something, a lot of dark energy came out of it. So maybe we should be extra cautious this time. I'm explosion less time. One explosion last time. Yeah, big one. Yeah, that is true. Should we maybe go ahead and short rest first so that we can get our health back in case

we... Remember, you don't have any of the hit dice that you used earlier. Yeah. Okay, well, how about this? How about we just step to the side and I thorn with it open. Okay. So I can grab the handle of the cub, you want more.

Tell me how you're positioning yourself. We were standing in front of it, but now I want to go as far back and to the left as I can. So that we're like diagonal. Got it. So I can just be like, whoops. Sweet. Moonshine, go ahead and make an attack roll.

I'm gonna be readying an action to give a help action to Moonshine to give her advantage on a dexterity saving throw. Great. So to be readying an action to give a help action to moonshine to give her advantage on a dexterity saving throw. Great. So you're like ready to grab her. 14. 14. Um moonshine you are able to wrap the whip around this handle. Um it takes a couple tries. I'm not going to make you roll constant attack rolls because you're at a comment. It doesn't matter. Um moonshine um you begin tugging on it and it's pretty heavy. Can we all like kind of... Yeah, hug up, honor.

Sweet, you guys all hug up. You pull, it's in an awkward angle because you guys are to the side. You guys see a casket slides out, crashes to the floor, and behind it, a bunch of this black smoke once again explodes out from behind it shoots off into the room you guys are to the side you guys are not hit by the cone okay good thingy jv this booby trap dumbass and then I guess like anyone who I guess maybe Bev you stay back because I know that you're feeling hurt.

Not feeling it, I am. Yeah, that's what I mean. And then, I guess, let's just go look at whatever version there. Yep. Okay. Who's going? I'll go. I'll go. I'll go.

Bound or an iron on Bat Patrol? Great. Yeah. But you guys are on Bat Patrol. Bound or looks at you, hey man, can I have your old sword? My sword sucks. Actually, as we're doing this, did anything drop from Bortram other than the sword?

Did his armor, anything clattered at the ground? Just the sword. Just the sword cool. Before we do this, I think that I was going to sadly just kind of say, once I do open this up, he's going to go look around why it's hand and around the floor. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I don't want. No one's got it. It's probably just gone. But you know, yeah. Oh, I don't want, no one's got it. It's probably just gone. But you know, come, let's all do, I want to give all help to his investigation. I go ahead and investigate. We're all down on our knees looking for his contacts.

I'll give him help. Oh, that's going to be 16. 16. You look around and you can't, you can't find your hand or your eye. It's okay. Um, so sorry. It's alright.

Um, yeah. We'll get you a new possum. Better head. That's real sweet, yo. I appreciate it. We'll figure something out because we're getting out of Grimhawk. We're gonna get out of Grimhawk and once that happens, we'll see. We're gonna get you a cool steampunk hand.

It's gonna be even better. You're gonna have to rev it up like a lawn mower. Yeah, putting kerosene in there, lighting it up. Yeah. It'll be dope. I, um, that's real nice. That's a real nice thought. I appreciate it.

I'm very sorry though. Oh, it's all right. Me here. Yeah. Pat's your shoulder. Let's open this coffin up. Yeah. You guys open the coffin up. And you see, missed.

Obviously, Ambrose has not had time to regenerate in any way. But sitting in the coffin is this gem necklace. is this gem necklace, this ruby gem that was around Ambrose's neck. And moonshine, you hear a voice in your head, go. I don't know if the others will understand, but you are a witch, and maybe you'll help me. I think I'm just gonna be like, you know, I just might have found Nick, but I was wondering if I was hanging around my neck. Unless someone else, I mean, just while we shuttle it to get destroyed

or de-curseed or whatever. Mm-hmm. Boundorn, and Bound or an I are playing a bat volleyball and don't hear what's going on. I think sister best thing to do is gonna be put that in the bag and go get your friend hard one. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's a good call.

We're gonna know. Don't listen, don't listen, okay. My name is Penda Gost. I was once commander of the Dark Lord's armies, but I betrayed him and I took the throne for myself. Ambrose Montgomery supported me in my rebellion and in exchange I gave him a token, a fragment of my heart. I was recently unseated by certain Galadrozel and my consciousness returned to this small piece of me.

I can help you, like I helped Ambrose. I could give you power. I could get someone out of a contract. And you get this sense, this strong sense that he's referring to Dei. I know your brother. Okay, y'all. I know that this is gonna seem like a very uncool thing to do, but this necklace is speaking to me. And

so I might just hold on to it. A little bit it is making me promises. And I know not to trust that. But it's saying it has it's the heart. It's a fragment of the heart of the last guy who sat on the throne. That Galadro's L unseated. Pentecost. Pentecost. Pentecost? Yeah, Pentecost. Okay, score two to three. I'm sorry, I know it's bad. I just, I can't help but be honest about this.

Sister, you gotta believe me when I tell you, there is no good deal that comes from making bargains with that being I should know. Is that who took your who you made a deal with? I made a deal with Pentagon a long time ago. I said I wanted more than anything to be a hero and he said he could make that come true. All right then. Yeah, I can't put the shit on. All right. I mean, I really don't, I don't want to live in this tool. I used to be a dark Lord. It was so freaking rad. Hey, I don't know if you can hear me.

If it's like a two way, if there's like, if I have a line of communication to you, yeah, here you are. Here's the deal. It'd be insane for me to put you on. Given that you are, you just said that you were, that you betrayed the dark Lord that you were in a hair dryer. They called me the patranger. That's true, but I'm just a little. Oh, yeah, asterisk on that.

His title is the patranger. Oh, yeah, okay. Your name's the patranger. And me, this incident in the sale of breakout. You think all of a sudden, I'm gonna pull personality swing, I'll put you around my neck. No, no, no, no, no, no, check out.

I just think that maybe, you know, you let's all chill for one minute. Let's chill one second, okay? No deals, no deals. You just take me along with you outside of this tomb. I do not want to be destroyed. I am gonna do that. And forgotten here, you with you outside of this tomb. I do not want to be destroyed and forgotten here You take me out of this tomb and I will free your brother from his contract cool, okay

I'm gonna take you out of this from this tomb in the bag though. You're all going the bag He's feeling I get y'all good news. He's willing to debate himself by going in the bag. See that's what they call leverage Absolutely fuck me. I used to be a god to have God It's gonna slide him right anyway. I can hate glad result I wish you the best of luck and avoid all the old tuna. All right, but I'm going in the bag Hey, but you're I'm wearing you now as a bag All right Will provided you know you stay true to your word because you know I can always just suck his soul back

So you know you gotta get me the hell out of here. Oh, I must stay true to my word All right, I'll say true to my word. You hear you're getting out of this crib. At this point he's speaking aloud so everybody can hear. Okay. So we get you out of this crib and you let dead eye off the hook. Yeah, but you can't like bury me or do any kind of other bullshit. No, I'll bury you. Yeah, we'll get you out the crib. Okay, just to be clear, here's what the deal is. You can't freaking bury me. I swear this guy was cooler when I was a kid. I swear to God. I'm a huge fan of you.

I'm not a fan of you. Well, no one's none of your friends. I mean, he's scramble and it's making me laugh. I'm a goddamn necklace. I'm a goddamn necklace, everyone. And I live in a fucking tomb that has just been conquered and I'm fucked. I'm just absolutely better about how

I've weathered this contract. Honestly, this honestly bad news All right everyone everyone fucking chill everyone listen up. Okay, so you're gonna put me in the bag You're gonna get me out of here. I will let you your brother out of his contract then after that We'll negotiate further. Yeah, well, all right. Yeah cool cool. All right cool put me in the bag Yeah, all right, I know I, cool. Put me in the bag. Yeah, all right. The ball knows. He's got to be put in the bag.

It's kind of fun in here. He gets put in there. And did I you here in your head? All right, you're free or whatever. Come on, man. Put a little pom pom. Well, don't just say all. I thought I was going to like get to like, I don't know. I could like, like, get to get to the right place. You guys are talking out later, you know. I don't know gonna like get to like I don't know I could like

you guys are talking out lady I don't know if you want it to go into your heads or no your time has been served in my see your watch has ended. Oh damn man I mean you this is honest I'm a necklace I accept all right I'm a fucking necklace honestly I accept I fully accept I acknowledge that I am released as of this moment I'm a free being that said from someone who's no longer under your thumb you got to get help brother I mean this is I mean I knew dude you're freaking dead you're just a dead guy now. Yeah, I know I'm down a hand and a knife and a life, but I got a soul and family, and

I finally know which is worth more. Oh, did I, you feel yourself fading? You feel like your consciousness fading. What? You're looking real pale there, friend. This. I can't thank you enough. This is good, you want this?

This is the exit from Grimhawk that... We can get him a possum leg and another possum off here. Maybe. Just the ones falling apart. A possum leg and another possum on here I'm falling a possum pill episode dear. Is this is this okay with you? Feel like I failed you you didn't fail me just here We're in the crimson hails already just don't let me die in grimoan. Just carry me out to the hails I won't just carry me out to to the hills real quick. All right, I cast long stride on myself and I run as far as I can. Munchine picks up, dead eye, dead eye.

You're already super weak. You feel like the skin that you do have is already starting to melt away. And Munchine rushes right out onto the hills. Dead eye, I met you at a time when I felt really bad about who I was and knowing that your part of me makes me feel better about who I am and I cannot thank you enough for that? It's it. I was completely lost. I had no one and nothing and every day was endless pain. I

didn't like this place and I didn't like these people because I didn't like myself. You're the best part of me and I think you're the best part of every crack out there. You do us all proud. I mean, I'm really torn because I wish we could have spent so much more time together, but I'm also so grateful that we spent any time at all together, because we could have missed each other entirely. I hate to think about what happened to me, but maybe more I hate to think about who I still would have been if I'd never met you. I think I'm a very very big hug. Slim? Yeah, I'm here. You take care of my sister kid, I know you got the moves.

If she keeps taking care of me, I'll keep taking care of her. And tell your friend with the fangs that there's a lot of fun to be had while you're dead. And I know there's a way out for him too. You know, I know you might not like old Cobb much, but you both know how to keep it light. Oh my raps! Did I sit down? Cis. Yeah. Don't make it hit the old dusty.

I love you. I love you. Did I, you feel yourself slipping away? You guys see, did I close his one eye that's still there. And did I you suddenly jolt awake? You open your one eye, you are not healed, but you are laying on death's door and you are in the creek. You have transported to this exact location on the material plane. You feel yourself dying but you can hear the babbling waters of the creek, the warm fucking musky hot breeze and you hear a nannier fly as it buzzes past your face. Uh, dead eye looks up with his one green eye, pure Crick-Alf green looks at the nannier fly. It's good to come home. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh! Oh, Malora! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Much what birthed him so Fucking cool That's just that she's muktamok

You don't get anymore let's we're talking about in a short rest. Yeah, my goodness guys head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod that's NADD POD don't sing yet. Guys, thank you so much to our guest, Brennan Lee Mulligan, at the Seattle Dada, honor, that pleasure of a life to let a cool fucking arc. That was so fun. What a great fucking finale.

Yeah. Again, I saved it for the show, I'm gonna show you guys. Okay. Oh no, I'm very emotional. Oh my god, that was so fucking badass when Dead Eye ran out to risk in his own hide to help moonshine. Probably the first time in a long time.

He was a sneak thief and a murderer, but you fucked my sister, I'm gonna run right at it. I'm gonna have to live by my goodness. Cool guys, who has things to plug? Brennan, what do you have to plug? I don't. Here's what I have to plug. Fucking beautiful storytelling with friends

and a collaborative. Yeah, guys, you know, we're not gonna plug anything this week. Let's plug D&D. What are your friends? What a great damn game. Guys, you know what, if you also just love this great damn game with your friends

Tweet about tweet about the show using hashtag and nad pod. That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d Let's give a one last we are we are for our friend dad. I nice sombre We are we are Youth of the nation. We are we are Youth of a nation. Hello everybody, called well here, the time has come to shout out our benevolent council of elders, let's get to it. Brad D, the only Pebble Pop that isn't Craven, has to call ahead when they go to the movies with their family to make sure none of the previews are too scary.

J. Loma 72, aka Steelbreaker, Hard One's gymspiration, keeps their rump plump with a vegan protein powder made from powdered meonuts. Dylan B. A sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times. Also has some trust issues so the floating army of blades end up being a great visual metaphor for how they keep people at a distance. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist artist painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf finish, although they were actually trying to paint his still life. Hard one just got in the way.

Spencer Casperu, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia like, currently pouring their entire collection out for dead eye. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohumia. Keep your gum away from that thing. Scott D, the bastard child of Ambrose Montgomery, who's thinking this is their chance to make a play for power. Hermes W, the Bat King, wears a cape which, in conjunction with the wings, feels kind of redundant.

Spartus, the biggest, meanest green teen, uses the holy light of the lore to light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Rude. Adam R, the R-rated assassin. Next up on their hit list, the MPAA. Those prudes are going to wish they gave Adam a better rating. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame. Danielle is so dastardly, they moond Papa during his first shooting attempt and actually caused the misfire.

QC, aka, Haldoir Frostback, Mvp of the Giant Wars, crewed on the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red. Only hit on Lydia once and was super respectful when she told him to back off. Nice. Danielu, aka, Multifor, the Mini-Face Magician. Kind of like Arya Stark, aka Multifor, the mini face magician. Kind of like R.A.S. Dark, except Multifor actually uses their powers. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, working on a dance remix of whatever devastating music we put under dead eyes farewell. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, and the Thrice never gored. That's right, Jeff's run with the bulls three times and never gotten gored. Cutter W, a high elf dandy turned quick bark attack.

Cutters recently been inspired by Dead Eye's whole Houseful of Junk aesthetic. Tastful. John S, aka Shuberth the Mushroom, recently hung a skirt of tassels from the cap and baby it's a hit on the dance floor. Ryan M. Hard one's ram who survived being abandoned in the frigid north, only to succumb to a privileged Parisian on Wii. Elena C. A demigod who accidentally created dryads when they sneezed halfway through an awakened spell in the forest.

Michael McD. Head mixologist at the Blue Manna Inn, makes a mocktail so mean, you think it was a Tumblr of Scotch. Andrew M, the puffest lad in all of Bohumia, has outrestled all of their nannies and most of their tutors, what a unit. Victor T, Boundor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Can't believe they're going to have to celebrate their high school graduation without all pop, but hey, anything

for Bohumi, I guess? Just an eye, a shell who is actually grateful to the vampire that sucked them of their intelligence, wit, and soul because they read Mary Condo and are very into the idea of getting rid of everything these days. Jacob C, a rogue who's gone rogue, which means they actually play by the rules now. Nice Jacob. Alaina M was the safety instructor who was unfortunately out to lunch when Deidye first blew himself up in Esri.

Come on Alaina. Mick Pux, the amazing code master who programmed our website. Also, the code master who designed the aforementioned defective gun. A lot of guilty people in our council of elders. Don't worry, your secret's safe for us. Earl and Kathleen L.

Two nasty frost windteens who went back to a rowdy dwarf in lifestyle even after the others learned their lessons. Jive G. The chillest to backsy and all of Bohumia. Now that's one cool cat. Jostritch, the jock ostrich. Hangs out with Jive G and dunks all of their enemies heads in the toilet. That's a lot of swirlies.

Damial R, Ram Daniels evil twin. All of the Rams survived their trek out of the valley until Damial set up a tripwire and knocked them all off a cliff. Curse you Damial, curse you to hell. Jennifer V has a V that's even more vicious than Cobbs, dead eye deeply resents that V. Destincy, a powerful all-knowing cockroach who has been evident God to all bugs. Devin B, the bodega lord, a deity who has more than a few dollyances in the back of the Delly.

Michael L, the bravest hero and all of Shadowfell, was killed on their first day there. Sam H, Alonus' dealer, also a Gwaine's dealer. Super problematic, she's still a kid, Sam, come on. Sergio, Salazar, Solomon Sacarias de Sequani, seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio is so sexy, he rolls charisma checks with super advantage.

That's like 5D20s. Traylee, the cray-fay who has a lot to say. That's right, Traylee was recently cursed and has been screaming for 10 days straight. It's driving them insane. Good luck Traylee. We're rooting for you. Aaron G. Master of the Banishment spell. Aaron loves to banish the sales off of airships and cause them to plummet out of the sky. Thousands have died from Aaron's good-good goofs. Jory S. A Jacked Wizard. Jory accidentally got buffed from lifting enormous spell books all day.

Can I get that workout routine, please? Alucard, a reverse Dracula, beloved by J.V. Oh. Baby Doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section, kind of like a chess burst of familion. Horrifying! Adam H. is the envy of Beverly after collecting every doll in the Bohumian Boys collection. Oh, over 400 dolls! Impossible!

Colin G, the inspiration for Bebs' charismatic Colin Boyd doll, comes with her own top hat. Wow, the top hat is the same size as them, impressive. Ryan, hard one's ram. Ryan died and went to Shadowfell, then quickly send it to Dark Lord and is actually doing pretty well. Sorry, Galad. Big Buck, pregnant Elk moonshine's Elkenbaby, has Buck teeth, strange crooked antlers, and weirdly enough, 19 eyes. That's a look.

Richard F, a paladin who was so blessed by Plore that they could fly. Richard flew up to the sun to meet their god, then unfortunately exploded due to overheating. Richard X Machina introduced the Crick 2 regular water. That's right, the Cricks have been huffing weird fumes for so long, they had never had regular water before now and boy were they dehydrated. Troy McCee, Boundore's rival at Tuesday bowling, rolls at least an eight on every frame. That is impressive. Cannibalistic Cthulhu, trying out the raw food movement and just kind of biting into people's zombie style. It tastes pretty good. Just be sure to put down a tart bud. Sam L, a polymorph dwarf,

can polymorphin anything, but it's always just a little bit smaller and it's always adorable. Dom R, a Pepsi Genasi. Some folks would describe their personality as bubbly. Ha ha ha, very good. Josh S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Josh's quads are made of pure iron and they're still jack shit compared to hard one, hell yeah. Blitzbreak Demetri, owner of Dwarggers Big Borgers, recently opened a play pit for children inside of Dwarggers, many a child have gone into the ball pit

and not resurfaced. Not good! Caleb Storm, Cut Bear and Cords Great Hall, got the job after a promotion from Cords Medium Hall, kind of just Cords Mudroom to be honest. Nicholas C has started every single movie ever made in Bohumia and is now focusing on their music career. Nicholas plays bass in a band called Air Elementals. Rock on Nicholas. Matt L, a dragon-born chef who prepares their food by smoking it with their own mouth. Kinda gross, but it tastes awesome.

Mike H, a chosen angel who has robotic wings and prefers oat milk, way cooler than the other angels. Naturally, Kevin S, a fisherman wizard who casts spells and lines. When Kevin has a bad down the water, they just kill every fish within a thousand foot radius with a spell. Matthew E, a rat folk with a really long rat tail. Both on their butt and their head. So too long rat tails, but it's in a hot way. Not gross, we promise. Samuel B. The pin is mightier than the sword.

Samuel murders their foes with a pin. Till for G. author of the hit children's book and movie, Ulf Gargo's Punch. Also author of the mega flop, Ulf Gargos Punch, also author of the Mega Flop, Ulf Gargos Punch 2. Doc Alpha, the drunk monk, an enlightened drunken master water genazi who always forgets to drink themselves in between drinks. You gotta hydrate, Doc! Curtis S, a grim hawk shell who recently invented transparent sunglasses. It's just frames, but the sun isn't that bright, so it works out.

Colton B. Once beat Dead Eye in a game of Big Buck Hunter, but only because Dead Eye didn't get a surprise round on the box. Yins Christian T. Recently replaced their huge bag of gloves with just one big glove-shaped bag. It's more effective, and they can carry other shit in there. Very practical, Yins. Gage M, a quarrelsome little quick young-in who is often placed in the time-out sack, but is so ordinary they don't even make out in it. They just rassul.

Psh, wasteful if you ask me. Tiavana Saragon, an Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath, but forgot what for. Nonetheless, they go out every night looking for whoever they made their promise to. Mostly Tiavina has been searching in taverns and curbs, getting absolutely slushed on the hunt. Godspeed, Tiavina.

Aaron C. A kinkoo with a beak so long they don't need a sword to kill their foes. Anyone who crosses Aaron gets pecked. Hannah F. A commercial airship captain. Basically exactly like hard ones dad, but they're only a little more addicted to arcane. Montana Monarch, founding member of the big sky brotherhood. Mostly in enclave of folks who like to eat bison burgers, sign me up. L&D, the fiercest woman in Bahumia, so fear she legit castrated Scoutmaster Diny, and he hadn't even done anything.

We're okay with it. Carbrow Chapel Hill FPV, hard ones Rams, new best friend. Carbrow has been taking Ryan out to lavish meals and amazing concerts. So awesome, who had a great life Ryan has? Incredible. Chad A, Bohumia's only Pokemon trainer. Chad spends their day throwing rocks at dragons, and frankly, it is not working out well for them. Reese NS, a Feywild Sea Hag who owns the island next to Alonus, is worried because Alonus

hasn't answered their phone calls and also because Alonus borrowed their pontoon boat and still has not returned it. TJ M. A barbarian from the Crack Tooth Clan that called in sick the day of the battle for Moonstone. Don't worry though, they died of the flu. RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin, basically an oversized pinnie presser that Professor Duttle taught emotions as a prank. Taylor S. aka Trast the Traveler. Trast has visited so many youth hostels that they are now immune to every disease known

to man. Anime intellect. The God of Anime. Every night they feast upon an enormous pile of delicious meat and ramen personally drawn by Hayaomi Azaki. Zolo Dolo, the most powerful weapon in Bahumia. Only the strongest of fighters can wield Zolo Dolo. Mostly due to the fact that Zolo Dolo is a sword made of bees.

Joshua C. The titular Grim Hawk for which the city is named. When Joshua's wings darken the air, take cover. Else you'll be taken to their layer and forced to listen to Joshua's lectures on the dire realities of global warming. Yikes! Larissa J. The Noce Faratou with the Most Faratou. That's right, Larissa is a vivacious vampire whose house parties never suck. Ehh!

Genevieve F. A fry Elf. A powerful elf who can summon scalding oil at will. Genevieve's power is strongest every year when the county fair comes to town. Dylan C.M. the wannabe DM, a halfling who keeps trying to get their friends to play D&D, but fails because everyone says it's too realistic. Better luck next time Dylan. Kelvin Noodles, the pasta elemental. Hits the town every night in a giant bowtie made of farfalley and spaghetti suspenders. This club's about to get al dente! Be money, Balnor's hip-hop alter ego just teamed up with Outcast to release a hot single

entitled Boob's of a Baghdad. Andre 3000 calls it his best work to date. Andrew A, a chef who makes the stickiest buns in all of Hill home. Also, Martha Togold's personal enemy. J, a flightless Kiwi era cacra. They basically look like a giant fuzzy lollipop. Oh, sweet A's, mate. Heartless master. Sold their heart to Acarot and exchange for infinite power. They can still get heartburn though, and they get it bad. C.C. Lulu, an expert shadow fell doll maker who has never once made a doll that didn't get haunted and come to life. What a track record.

Paul B, a clumsy wizard who recently invented the Cant Trip, Cant Trip. Unfortunately, while they were writing down the spell, they tripped and spilled ink all over the scroll. Better look next time, Paul. Barnes and Ador, a powerful warlock who can turn any building into a Barnes & Noble. It might seem like a useless power, that is until you're in a public place and desperately need to pee. Bless you, Barnes & Aitor.

Shane M., a hermit who lives on the shell of a giant turtle dragon. It's under a lot and Shane can't get mailed delivered, but it IS rent stabilized, so what are you going gonna do? Yasmeen, a famous Bahumi and cartoon character known as the Yasmeenian Devil. Once played basketball for the fate of Bahumiya alongside Bullywag's bunny and Bev's uncle, Daffling Duck. Trigger Happy, the gun-toting crick who Cobb trained instead of Dead Eye, has two powerful pistols named Brooks and Gun.

Not very clever, but a great shot. Eric G, the Jewel Giants! Eric's body is made of precious stones. They make a living selling their diamond toenails to the nobles of Galatoron. Jackalope Audity, a giant jackalope that Apple Scrumper rides around the field. They also have an utter, which no one ever mentions,

but everyone privately thinks, is pretty cool. And that's all our council members. Thank you all so much for pledging your loyalty to us. Which, no one ever mentions, but everyone privately thinks, is pretty cool. And that's all our council members. Thank you all so much for pledging your loyalty to us. Head over to patreon.com slash nad pod. If you would like to become a patron and hear the short rest, we appreciate you all and hope you have a great day. Bye bye. Thank you.