Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 65: Ashes to Ashes (The Shadowfell Saga)

Episode Date: June 13, 2019

The Band of Boobs finish their business in the Crimson Hills and inspire the village of Grimhawk! Moonshine meets a new rival, Beverly finds a friend in the crypt, and Jvelin proves his loyalty to the Dusk Mother. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Rowdy Crowd" by xtrgamr at Freesound.org."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."The Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford."A Sight For Sore Eyes" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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So head on over to Nadpod.com and check out our merch store to find it. It's got Bevin' Irland, Hard One, Moonshine Balnor, and the SS Stormborn Supercute designed by our friend, Jamilla, you can see more of Jamilla's art by following at CHOCO, K-O-P-P-T-A on Twitter and Instagram. Also a little heads up, we have our live show in Chicago this Friday, and I might be posting it as next week's episode.

That's TBD. It depends on if the sound is good and if it'll play well with the audience at home. Don't worry, we'll only post it if it's good. That's all for my announcements on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Bahumia. Bahumia.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard toothed sure thing. Oh, cute. Thank you. What about Jivelund though? Oh, Jivelin.. Oh, jeevelyn Actually Emily expert moon shan sabin

RIP dead eye in honor of dead eye ain't got no quip cuz I'm missing that prick. Oh Low-key quip though We also say you're not doing a quip but then you got a quip Can't help but quip, we also have Caldwell Tanner. Ooh, I thought of one and I can't help but use it. Beverly Togold, the fifth, the little scamp who loves killing vamps. Ooh, you messy bench. You just peeing all over dead eyes memory with a quip.

He'd like it. He would love it. He would respect a quip. I would love it. That's my, you know what? I dedicate that one to dead eye. Okay, shout outs to dead eye. That one about not having skin on his finger was really good.

If you guys remember that. Yeah, I do, cool. It's cool back. Well, you know what, speaking of remembering things, let's do a little recap. Whoo, perfect pivot. By me, last week you guys rated Grimhawk Mank manner facing each of the Montgomery siblings one by one until finally making your way to the crypt Dead eye sent his hand and eyeball just out ahead

But they were crushed by Wyatt the bruiser of the family moonshine volunteered pop-aw to help dead eye and the scramble man entered his first battle ever together You bested Wyatt and his father, Ambrose Montgomery, but coach Bortram was killed in the melee. You flooded each of the coffins, but when you got to Ambrose's, you were greeted by an entity entrapped in his ruby necklace. The entity revealed itself to be Pentecost to the betrayer. The former...

forgot about that little devil. The former Dark Lord of Shadowfell, before Galad and the demigod, who Dead Eye had pledged himself to in exchange for his gunsling and skills, in exchange for taking him out of the crypt in the bag. Pentecost agreed to release Dead Eye from his contract. This meant that Dead Eye was no longer bound to Shadowfell,

but it also meant that Dead Eye was ready to die and be at peace. Moonshine carried him out of Grimhawk Manor and set him down in the Crimson Hills. You all had a tearful goodbye as you set Dead Eye to rest, and at the last moment he returned to the Crick to draw his last breath. And that's where we are now. So you guys don't see that Dead Eye has gone to the creek, but you do see him fade away. And you can't tell at first where he's going. But moonshine, as you watch him fade away, you see this kind of serene smile go across his face. And you blink.

And for a second, you could have sworn you heard the babbling streams of the Crick. He's in molores, but now he's in molores sweet crevice now. Sounds nice. And you see everything on Dead Eye's body has faded. His skin, his bones, his weapons, his little coat thing, except for his cowboy hat has been left behind. Well, I ain't gonna let that go to waste here.

Some vampire come pick it up, I'll put it on my head. Moonshine, you put it on your head. You now have Dead Eye's hat. This will give you the gift of Elven accuracy. Oh shit. So whenever you roll advantage on an attack, you can reroll the lower number. So you basically get my kind of double advantage

if you have advantage. Ha ha ha ha ha. Get out, that ain't you. Ghiblin' locks hats. Yeah, you know what. Get out, thank you! Jibbling locks hats. Yeah, you know you're right, Jibbling good for you. I don't know if I'm having a close-in relationship with you today. I'm taking it off. Jibbling can't reach on his head.

I can't even, I mean, the chemistry between you and Dadah, it was like being a fly on the wall. I know someone else is still there. No, just his will. Yeah, that's right. Jibbling, you know someone else is, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, to give him the cowboy hat. I'm observing you. I am. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so I'm not prefer the wimple. This is the wimple of the Duskmother. It will protect you and all your Satan- The thing is, if it's the Duskmother, then I want it badly.

And you may have it, sir. Yeah, I did it the Duskmother. It's the Duskmother. Warriors and soldiers, all our wimples. It is so sad. The army of the Iron Wimpies. Warriors and soldiers all our wimples The army of the iron wimples the warrior the wimple warriors Return home with a wimple covered in blood of their phones Everyone trembles when you see the cut of the wimple warrior shadow

grouping a fire at their heads guess. There's no protection there. Same for a wimple. I should have never said the word wimple. I really should have never said the word that simple. What is this like three weeks later? We're still talking about it. One of the times. I think honestly, maybe four or five weeks.

I think it's been a full five weeks since the original wimple. We'll be having this conversation in a year from now as well. Okay. How many weeks? So you guys, you guys up in the Crimson Hills by Grimhawk Manor, you guys still have a good view of the village below you.

You see that the mist is still surrounding the village. You haven't finished off Ambrose yet. You guys, we haven't? No, you guys flooded the other coffins, but you had to take Dei and run out, because you also took Pentecost, the necklace outside of the crypt. Can I just do it again?

All right, so where are we going? Can I do an insight check to see if I can wear Pentecost without him like corrupting my soul? Mm. Yeah, you can do an insight check. Quick corruption check. 15. 15.

With deals with demons and devils and such, and Papa could help you with this. You would really need to get it in writing and make sure you don't get like monkey pod. I just wanna wear it, I wanna wear the necklace for ornamentation without him having any effect on me is what I'm saying. I'm saying can I wear it?

I want to humiliate him by wearing him but not entering into any sort of pact with him. You would need to propose that to him. So he goes, wait, you just, okay. But what if you were like my champion? What, like, what? I should have him in the bag. What do you think?

I say, y'all, next time we see it, Claire's, I got something to pawn. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What if I'm your champion? I say y'all next time we see it Claire's I got something upon What if I'm your champion? I don't want to live in a freaking bag All right, I'll take you out, but if I put you around my neck, you're my champion not other way around Okay, can we like could we read a gochie in the future? Can we like could we read negotiate in the future? Right. Yeah an official on air

in 10 days Negotiations in 10 days as hostile and a serbic as like The horse proceeding all right here's it's a deal. Oh here's a deal I serve you for 10 days and then I'm gonna start burning you up and then you have to take me off and then we'd renegotiate Okay, I just want to gently remind you that you don't really have any service that you can do other than no Everyone needs to freaking relax is what everyone needs to do. I'm I live in shadowville. You all are from the area Okay, I can I live you You all are from the area. Okay, I can I leave you oh

Yeah, he's new though. Yeah, Jivelyn and Jivelyn's Yelp collection for Shadow fell spot on yeah Do you want do you want me to be your champion? Yeah, pretty much okay? I'll put him around my name all right, mr What do you want me to call you master? What do you want me to call you? Mr. is just fine. Mr. is okay. All right, Mr. is moonshine. I am out of your service. I wish I had put the necklace around her neck. Yeah. Instead of putting it on your neck, what if you mounted it on the hat like a cool little brooch? Oh, that's very cool, but also what if I did a belly chain?

I do a belly chain. All right, you know what? I'm so sorry, Beverly, that was such a good suggestion, but then I pictured myself with a belly chain and it felt so Virginia suggestion, but then I pictured myself with belly chain And it felt so Virginia Beach. I couldn't help this This is sexy as hell a fan of this aesthetic You customized suggestion in every way how can I be there? You could do a gym in my wimple if you like Jim

A jimple if you will what like sexy A jimple, if you will. What? Looks sexy. Balnor goes, I'm gonna go make sure everyone doesn't die and walks into the manor. Oh, sure. Fair, fair, fair, fair. I follow up behind Balnor.

Quite right. Did I get Balnor my sword last time? I believe so, yeah. Okay, just wanna double check. I follow next to him and I walk him through how to use it, how to activate the special ability so we can reroll once and twos. Okay, so it glows green.

That's way better than I just had this regular sword. Oh yeah, that thing, is that wood? It's way to sicker sword. Fowler double looks at it, takes a second look at a sword. It was, this was a practice sword. This is why I wasn't hit this hard as you guys. It's way so much. This is, wow. Anyway, I entrust hit this hard as you guys. It's playing so much. This is wow.

Anyway, I entrust hard-chained to you. I know that you'll do more with it than I ever could, Boundar. He nods and he bows deeply. Cool. So we're going back into the manner. Yeah, we'll go back to where we found Pendergrest. Pendergast. My name is Pendergast.

My mistress. Tindergreens. Tindergreens. Tindergreens, Pendergreens. No, okay. I thought we were working together, this is no way to trigger employee. Okay. It needs to be the dark lord, have a little respect. Yeah, everyone shows some respect to Pendergreens.

Okay. You know what? Maybe leave me in the coffin. I'll be buried for a thousand years. It's freaking fine. No, come on. You guys, go back into the crypts. You see each of the siblings coffins have been flooded,

but Ambrose is still there. You guys have pulled it out from the statue. It has been emptied of its contents, the necklace, but you do see, as you walk over to it that bits of his mist form are coming together to form a skeleton. He's beginning to regenerate. But he's but he's in a crypt, right? He's in a coffin. He's in his coffin. Yeah, I guess I go over and I create more water in it. Sweet. You are you you flooded up before he can even form up enough to beg you not to do it.

Can I get it? Can I get into it? But since I can breathe in water, can I get into it and just make eye contact with him as he dies? He looks terrified. You are the last thing he ever sees. I'm your pentagosco. You're freaking evil, listen. I respect you. I mine

our illusions and bubbles. That was him. You guys you guys are kind of rad honestly. These vampires just chill in their house all day. When I got stuck with Frickin Ambrose I was I was pretty bored but I think we're not a lot of fun gang. Yeah. I think when we renegotiated 10 days, I think everyone's really going to consider it coming over to the dark side. Sure, yeah, we'll go to Kirst's Court with you. Yeah. Yeah.

Real quick. Well, so he's done for, right? Amber was just done for. Yeah. I just, for my own sanity, I just want to heal up Bev. So, thank you, if 1HP. You guys do see, guys, go ahead and give me investigate checks or perception checks. Jim really got a four.

Okay. Oh, that's a natural 20 for old Bev. Jesus, Bev. What do you laugh at that much of? I'm laughing at the way that it does. It's the cold balls. We did, we did roll them off camera. They were not weighted.

I did 20 rolls and most of them were threes or eights. Yes But you did they're they're performative dice so when the mic is on there. Yeah, he's very good these dice are not p shy Yes, so much. I what did you get sorry? I actually haven't rolled yet So I'm doing the math for bevs 19 plus 17 is what I got you. I use all the rest of my spells on So that's 36? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, okay. Thank you.

You welcomed 36. Okay, so Bev, with a Nat 20 investigate check, you start walking around and you see A, why it has this big ol' axe that is just laying there where he fell. So there is an axe there, and then you round a corner and behind why it's coffin, tucked into a corner, you see barely moving, just twitching on the ground,

is Dead Eye's hand. Whoa! I pick it up! Oh! I pick it up! Barely moving just twitching on the ground is dead eyes hand Yeah, it is it appears to still be weirdly sentient in the way you see his eye is gone It was probably crushed, eyes are much more precarious and gooey than a hand is. His hand is broken, but it's like twitching, it's moving. It didn't disappear with him. Can I try and heal the hand? Sure. I only have touch hands left, but I'll try and...

Touch hands the hand? Touch hands the hand. I high-five it. Sweet. I only have five HP left, but the hand does not have a lot of HP. Bev, you touch hands the hand and you see these broken fingers correct themselves. You hear loud, sickening kind of pops as they correct.

But you see, Handy Andy starts like walking around again. Well, look at you, you're most in trouble. I see. Look at this bright. Crawls into Moonsunchai's bib. Bring it in here. Oh, it's like he never left. She's called him, Hansy, Anzie. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Nice to meet you, J.V. Although, J.V. That was not the cleanest one I heard from you. Yes, you guys are rubbing off on me. That's true. E.G. I thought you were a man of faith. All right. I love the dust mother. J.V. Are you going were a man of faith. I love the dust mother. J.V. Are you going to be okay without coach?

Well, I'm quite sad, but yes, yes, we'll get by. Maybe I'll pick up this large X that's by a feet there. Oh yeah. And now I have two Xs in a wimple. So that's a nasty look. Yes, yeah. That's pretty cutthroat, do I look fierce? You're like a salty milk made.

JV spins around. You look really good, man. Yeah. You whip the, you look freaking red. I whip my wimple back and forth. And you got, I'm not a little tighter that. And moonshine, these are the two gifts

that Dei left behind for you. The hand will allow you to use Dei's sleight of hand stats when you do sleight of hand. So you're not gonna be able to, you don't have the same connection to it. That Dei did where you can use it as a familiar, where it can go ahead and scout for you. But if you wanna steal something or swipe something

or do something tricky, you get his sleight of hand. Ooh, dead eye. So you just have to. You give me a taste for the sneak. You have this little hand item now. That'll stick to that. Bobba, make room. Bobba, you got to share your bid.

He starts biting that. Rhyme, rhyme, rhyme. Bobba, what do I tell you? Rhyme, rhyme. You tell us bid. Bobba, Bobba, tell jealous of it for two reasons, because it's in the bib, and he kind of took the place of that hand on Ted I,

so Papa's killing a little. How's the hand feel about Papa? You see the hand is like kind of poking at Papa, like using one finger, like a scorpion stinger and poking at him. Ma'am, ma'am. And Papa's gesturing like, do you see this? Man, man.

Papa, what? What? Papa, do not forget your hospitality. Hospitality is the foundation upon which peace is born. Rare. Papa looks at the hand for a very long time. And then he shakes, it's the... Rare.

I don't know. Ah, you love to see that. No. Rare You love to see that. Oh, no Jifflyn I was gonna ask if you wanted this sword back that was Bortrams But it seems like you're pretty set over there, huh? Oh, yes, yes, I'm good if it's all right with you I'd love to keep it. I think it could really aid us on on our tasks. I think that I think that sword shows you, Bev Oh, you think so indeed these weapons they. Yeah, these weapons, they're intelligent. That's true. It's your weapon.

Yeah, that hat looks very smart. That's why they call it that. Yeah. I got it now. It's our tutorial. Okay, so we go check on the village. We go find hard one. We should go find hard one.

I was gonna. You're a Dracula friend. Okay, Jivelin, just before we do that, like maybe don't, you know, just some friendly advice, or maybe I'm just imploring you to not say Dracula to hard one, because he's a bit sensitive. He's a bit sensitive and you've used the word in an everyday way. Not really a tough guy then, eh?

He's tough physically, if that makes sense. Yeah. He's kind of an emotional guy, even though he tries not to be. He's pretty emotional. Yeah, I get it. I get it. No matter how tough your shell is, we all have really runny yolks inside. Yeah, and that's right.

This is extra runny, yes. Yeah. We're known to kick it to Snow Patrol every once in a while. Absolutely. Quite right. Quiet, quiet. Like you like to patrol? I love it. It's just foul-nour-hug to you.

All right, well, let's bump it, gay. Yeah, let's do it. I use all my spells, Cure and Bev, so we're just walking naked into the nest. Ooh, all right, let's do it. You guys head outside. You guys are up in the Crimson Hills, essentially the Hollywood Hills of Grimhawk,

of Vampire Town here, so you can see down onto the village. And you see that the mist surrounding the city finally clears. You see it flies up like smoke and disperses into the sky. You can see in the distance, many beasts, these lesser vampires and giant spiders,

skittering away as the fog is lifted. They look like ants from up here, they're so far away. You see dead trees in the distance that you couldn't see before, and an area where the trees part that looks like some kind of road, a path out of Grimhawk. So you're all in the Crimson Hills right now. The Montgomery's are dead.

You look around and you just see all of these unguarded tombs and vampire homes. Hmm. tombs and vampire homes. Hmm. Y'all, I feel conflicted about this. What if we write them a sternly worded note with Montgomery, the Montgomery signature? Well, I think they're gonna realize the Montgomery's are gone for.

It might be suspicious behavior to write a sternly worded note and then be discovered to be wiped out of existence. Sure. I just really want to use this stationary. Yeah, JV, I'm not from around here, so I might have to defer to you about what is right for Grahamhawk. Right. Well, I must confess my entire life down here has been about killing these Dracula's So I want to do that quite badly

You're very good at it, but I love I love your passion Yeah, whenever he speak about something that you're passionate about it still feels so small I love it. I hate it. I care about this more than anything in the world that's host I would say to you, just your bliss. Just my bliss. Well, as long as you'll turn a blind eye, I might just go round slaying vampires if you don't want a partake.

Damn, you're savage. I don't know what do you think, Bev. Damn, you're savage. I, uh, I don't know. What do you think, Bev? Well, you know, I think if we can take one lesson from dead eye, it's that this town sucks. And I don't know, Jivelands, one of the nicest guys we've met here. Oh, I definitely am down to turn a blind eye to whatever Jiveland wants to do.

I'm in more so, like, do you feel, I report sports just bev, so it feels weird to have this conversation in front of Jim. Oh my goodness. Jim, Liz's expression doesn't change at all. Just smiling. Jim and you gotta find a puddle somewhere and see yourself in that wimple.

You look amazing. All right. Jim and Skampers off to a puddle. Well, he does that. Okay, about it. I'm cool with him doing whatever he wants. Like, I'll turn a blind eye. I feel guilty about not helping him take out the vampires

because he's my friend, but I also feel guilty about finishing off taking out all the vampires. I think if someone needs help, we should help. All right, then, let's do it. All right, sweet. The four of you guys fucking a slow motion, metal music playing in the background start

Yes, the most hardcore song of all time snow patrols If I just lay here, whatever the whole name of that car is I'm not even gonna make you guys roll for this because you've killed the Montgomery's and most of what are left are Whites and lesser vampires each tomb only has one or two vampires in it. So you're able to quickly overwhelm them. You're able to save peasants who were kidnapped and being tortured in these tombs. Whites try to pounce on you but Beverly and Moonshine cut them out of the air, jiveling to kicks the top off a coffin. Starts wrestling with a vampire then pulls out a stake and dusts him.

A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp-

A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp-

A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered sepula with my wimp- A smothered Oh, so you see, Bounder just does the mountain style crushes a white side. You see, they would have, these guys would have rigged havoc on the town. They would have rigged up. I trust you, Jace. I trust you, Jace.

So, the best suit I'm telling you. And your yellow collection, I've been following it and it has been the best recommendation. Yeah, I want to thank you for all your help. I had honestly my best ass eye you ball here. They put it on a plate. But, and there was a yip all. Yeah, I had a very thin plate of chia seeds. It's delicious.

Delicious. Grapen of chia seeds. So as you guys are lighting fire to all of these tombs and fucking up all of these lesser vampires in the resting places, you guys do see from the Crimson Hills looking down into the village. You guys suddenly hear gunshots going off in the distance, and then you begin to hear yelling,

and you see fires going up in different areas of the town. And we are going to cut over to hard one one sure foot. First off, moonshine. You see that there is some chaos going on in the town now. Are you going to keep your ... My gas? Is the gas going to remain during the chaos? I actually, I lifted the gas as when we killed Scarlet. Got it. Okay. I lifted it. Okay. So yeah.

Then this is less of a bad situation for our friend. So there, USC kind of chaos starting to go on in the town as there's chaos going on in the Crimson Hills. So a hard one. Oh shit. You suddenly... You gotta switch my accent. I love it.

Re-gain your senses in this abandoned wine cellar. You can recall most of what just happened. You remember fighting your friends being turned into a giant possum, but it all feels like a dream. You are in control of your own body again, although it feels foreign. You look down at your hands,

your skin is translucent white, your fingernails are sharp as claws. You see your beard is now silver. Like the Montgomery's. You catch your reflection in a broken piece of glass in this wine cellar, and you see that you now have red pupils. Hard one, Surefoot. You are a free vampire.

Well, this is different. Ha ha ha ha. And you hear a ruckus outside. It sounds like a riot or something. And then suddenly you hear a door kicked open, upstairs, and you hear a man's voice go, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, shit. I ride, ride, run up. You climb up the stairs uh, out of this cellar into the main room

and you see Langston holding the door shut uh, and as you run up he turns around he looks at you and he goes Oh shit, they fucking turned you man! Oh yeah, big time. Okay, well you and I are both in big trouble man. What's going on? Okay, well uh, apparently the Montgomery's got done in The mist got lifted. Oh, hell yeah, what do you mean hell? Yeah, I hate those fuckers. Yeah, well you're one of them

Look at yourself man. You're a Montgomery. Don't you call your mom? Comeery, not no month. I wish I was a fucking Montgomery man. You're a greater vampire good for you brother Good for you man anyway. What's happening? All right you and I are fucked because the townspeople so we're on the same team now Great you and I are on the same team because suddenly these townsfolk grew a fucking backbone I guess they saw the mist clear. They saw the fire go up We got that fucking big guy Revenant and one of them little girls running around killing people and the townsfolk Started to take out the fucking suckboy vampires and there ain't too many of us left. So we're all dead.

Yeah, we're fucked. Unless, you know what, me and you, I think we can actually take these guys out. We just wait for these revenants to clear and then I think we can take out the ones with the pitchforks. You see Langston goes over. He pulls a board off of one of the windows. You look outside and you see, you remember Bortram called this guy Schmorg, was the big ogre-revenant guy that you guys fought.

Is running around, punching Vampire Spawn and Vampire Suck boys were trying to get away. You see somebody turned into a bat and he just grabs it and bites it off Ozzy Osborne style. You see one of the little girls, the little girl whose ashes weren't lost Ginny is like crawling up schmorks back and stabbing at these dudes as as they fight in the streets and you see these peasants They've taken up pitchforks. They've got improvised weapons. You see Sammy the shell bartender has this big-ass club and just clocks one of the suckboy vampires across the face and you see Schmorg and Ginny run off towards uptown and likes to turn to you and he goes,

okay, all right, big guys are gone. You and I, we can take out these peasants down here. We take out these peasants, and then what does that do for us? What are you gonna get? We can fucking leave, man. Why somebody else? What do you mean, get fucking wopped? What's guys are gonna come back for us?

We can take out, we can reestablish the fucking vampire rule in this town, man. I miss my old friends. Okay, well, I'm no good sitting in this freaking house, so let's go out and get these guys then. All right, let's wait one second, let's wait for these guys to pass by because they're the strong ones. You wait a little bit, you see Langston is holding his hand up, you see Schmorg and Ginny start running up town away from the peasants

and this mob of peasants. There's maybe 10 or 12 of them are fighting a couple suck boy vampires and are taking them over. And Langston goes, all right now let's go let's go. Let's kick these guys asses. Langston kicks the door open and starts running out. I slam the door behind him. Well, you see Langston goes out, goes up to this crowd of peasants who engage with him. He pulls out his rapier. You see he back hands one guy then stabs him, then stabs this peasant woman in the stomach. Gahd, yeah.

Great, so he is gonna win. I run out. You run out? Yeah. What do you do? Sounds folk. I may look like a bad guy, but I'm a good one and I tackle Langston The townsfolk look confused as fuck

Go ahead and give me a Persuasion check I guess with advantage because you are attacking a van He's also cares madding now, right isn't it? Does he have extra charisma? Have extra charisma? No tight that's a that 20 though. Oh my God. You see, Langston has just come out, stabbed this woman. They've all backed up, fucking terrified, because they know Langston around town.

They know that he's not as strong as the Montgomery's, but stronger than these little vampires. And you running out and Tackling him they just like throw their hands up and back up. They're like, I don't know what the fuck is going on man Go ahead and roll initiative against against Langston. Do I get a little surprise round? No, you tackled him as a surprise round Cool, that's it Dead I taught me well Dead eye taught me well. At least I have to ask.

It's a seven? A seven. Okay, he got a nine, so he's gonna go first. So you see he pushes you off of him. The fuck are you doing, man? Are you insane? I'm not gonna get killed by these fucking peasants! He pulls out a rapier and he's gonna take an attack. That is a 18-a-hit misses, right?

Okay, he takes a second rapier attack, 17 misses, and then he's gonna try to bite ya, that's a 24-a-hit, that is gonna hit, but he doesn't get a charm effect on you because you're already a fucking vampire. What are you doing, you freak? I don't know how to be blood for you. That's five damage. You'll still take necrotic damage.

So five piercing damage. Eight damage. Eight total. Eight total. Push him in the church. That is your turn, hard one. It did burn down. Push him in a puddle.

Yeah, push him in a puddle, holy water. Is there a puddle? There's not a puddle nearby. It's a fire hydrant. Do I have any weapons on me? No. Pretty pool. Great.

It's a crocodile mile anywhere. They're really not sprinkler. I'm going to use my claw attack. Yes, so we've given hard one some new stats. He now has unarmed strikes So hard one go ahead and is your cause Are you fucking insane man? We're all gonna die dude. You could be the new Montgomery. We're all gonna die But you're gonna die first. Yeah, I instinctive at each behind my back for my hammer and don't find it nice

Swipe it in with my claw Not 20 Okay, so that's 2d6 Plus your modifier 11 damage on the first attack you slash right into Langston he recoils How the fuck do you get so good at being a vampire so fucking fast? I'm good at everything real fucking fast I take my second class out. Hard enough as a one.

Oh, no. Oh! 2022, super-hands. Not obviously not that. Yeah, super-hands. Not, obviously not that. Nat22. Nat22.

How? 10 damage. Sweet. Cool. And now I'm going to try to bite him. Sweet. Yeah, you get a third attack because you are now a level 11 fighter. Everybody leveled up after the Ember's Montgomery fight. So you actually, you can do a bite attack. You can do a bite attack. You can also do a bonus action offhand attack with your claws. I think

I'm gonna try out these chompers. Sweet, go for the bite first. 27. That hits. 13 damage. Sweet. So you don't get to regain health because he doesn't have, because he's undead.

But you still do your full damage. You can still do an offhand attack as a bonus action. Oh, right, damn, that's awesome. All right, y'all do an offhand. Shout out to the three Cree. Does 812 hit him? No, you miss.

He's gonna come back at you with the rapier first attack. Shout out to the core four, second attack, Nat Goddamn one, bite attack, another Nat Goddamn one. He's just fucking, seriously swinging at you. What the fuck are you doing man I'm trying to practice being a good vampire you can at least give me a fight hard one go I'm gonna

I can't wait my every thought Langston was attractive you know we all learning we all grow ten does not hit ten doesn't know I'm gonna try can I bite him three times that's on the one bite is one attack around cool second claw attack is a 22 10 does not hit. 10 doesn't hit now. I'm gonna try, can I bite him three times? No, no, no, no, no. One bite is one attack per round. Cool. Second claw attack is a 22. Super hits. 10 damage.

Nice. And now I'm gonna try to bite him. Ooh, shout out to the three Cree. Cree! Miss on the bike, you still have an off hand to claw attack as a bonus action. Right. The three re.

Rear, three. The Jive five does a 14 hit of 14. 14 does not hit. So you miss that is back to him. He is furiously gonna take some reaper attacks at you. Fucking rolls in that six that's gonna miss. That one is going to hit. That is, Jesus, guys, just nothing in Fimpy or Hard One.

That is nine damage on the second attack and he's gonna take a bite. Misses on the bite, natural three. Back around to you, Hard One. Can any of these towns people give me a goddamn pitch for? The townspeople are just around here. Yeah, man, if you want a fucking pitch for, just me a fork.

Throws you a pitch for. Great, I'm gonna try to juggle with the pitch around you. Yeah, man. If you want to fuck a bitch work, toss me a fork. Uh, throws you a pitch for Great. I'm gonna try to travel with the pitch for it. It's not as a it's just a two-handed D6 weapon. Great 23 23 hits 2d6 1d6 Does anyone have anything other than a pitch for we? We lived inside for 21 hours of every day. 11 damage. Sweet. Can a hard one roll to see if that's a masterwork pitchfork? Is it absolutely not a matchwork pitchfork?

Is it a magic, does it do magic damage? Take your second attack. I toss the pitchfork back to the task folk. Just use it for your hay. 23, superheads. Eight damage. Sweet. He is looking very hurts. I'm gonna try to bite him. 17. 17 hits. 11 damage. 11 damage. He is very hurts. Oh, offhand time. Hell yeah. 16. This would be an insane looking fight.

16 hits. You're just stabbing him with a pitch of work then fighting him. Two extra damage. Jo and ham. You want to get two damage? Oh, because it's the offense. You don't add the thing, right? OK, you get him down.

You know, I'm just deciding that a pitch work is in his strong as my job. Hard one. You get him down? No, I'm just deciding that a pitch work is in his strong as my jaw. Hard one, you get him down to Deaths Door. You see these peasants have been fucking terrified, but he goes to turn into a bat. You see he's like halfway and a morph style and it becoming a bat, and these peasants fucking pounds and start stabbing into him and missed this vampire. Yeah, you guys got a freaking bat problem

And you see Langston Langston dies Langston turns to mist so now you guys can see that not all vampires are bad Oh, God just that one well that one was bad most of all hard one Let me I think this town's full of nice vampires Hard one. Let me, I think this town's full of nice vampires actually. We've learned the error of their ways, and I'll show you. Hard one, here's the thing you notice. You have not lost your feelings as vampire. It has not gone that far.

But you see these people and you haven't been properly fed in a couple of days days and your first instinct upon seeing them and the fact that they didn't spring on this vampire until he was already very hurt, your first thought is fucking pathetic. Look at these cattle. That's for a split second you have that thought and you're able to logically, you know, think, oh, this isn't how I should think, this isn't me, this isn this isn't me this isn't hard one But you instantly understand how somebody who lives for hundreds of years like this would become a sociopath and this is a dangerous Line you're walking all right shake it off

Noble townsfolk that's what I was thinking so back up in the crimson hills we are back up with moonshine, Balnor, and Jivelin. And Pop-On Handy End. Pop-On Handy End. What a squad. And you guys do see that there are fires going up in town. It does seem like there are riots.

No. JV, we gotta go check on our friend. You don't come with us or? Yes. I don't want to leave you. OK, yeah, yeah. Then yeah, we got scooters. We've killed plenty of draculas.

Thank you. Do you want me to stay up here and just keep torching these motherfuckers? If you want. If that, with that chis your whole life. It's all right. We've got the others. No, we've got to kill them all, man. We'll get them. I'll get them. I'm going to say I like the chis your right. It's all right. We've got the other the others. No, we got to kill them all man

I like the fire in your eyes you stay up here doing something right Just wife's blood off his face goes in it just stabs another dude in his bed Fucking monsters. We should have got to go. We all have our own for myself care Height and worth the me Well actually a wooden sword is gonna be not too bad against Dracula's right? Oh, that's a good point. Keep that wooden sword. It doesn't have a goddamn wooden sword He's using our child. I found or keep using that play sword okay? Just keep it on you. Oh scary

So what are the rest of you guys doing? I think we're just running down You know if we see any vampires we can trip them, that's cool. Yeah, you guys run into whites and these lesser vampires. As you guys run down the Crimson Hills, they're running back. No, no, my house! I have to tell all of them. Your house got burned out at your stop. Properties theft.

Amidant domain. It got claimed. See guys all rush down the crimson hills, uh, and into uptown. Uh, you see towns people using improvised weapons, uh, to pounce on lesser vampires. Uh, it seems like the townsfolk are winning like they were inspired by seeing the mist go up and just one person decided, Hey, uh, I'm not taking any more from these fucking suck boys and then everything went to shit. Maybe look at that are you feeling proud of your people? He's rise up! Rise!

Yeah rise up on these motherfuckers! I just stabs a suck boy in the front. Rise up most of them! On most of them! They're all fucking bad! Get these Dracula's! Okay just be discerning! This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Um, we better find hard one. I want to make sure you're going right to where our ones are. and enjoy the show. We better find hard one. I want to make sure you're going right to wear hard ones. Yeah, so wait, you guys are running through Uptown towards downtown towards where you know, hard one to be.

The wine seller, aka hard wine. Right. Hard wine. That's how I remember it. You guys see that the townsfolk are winning. You guys have taken out most of the major vampires. I think then I'm gonna kind of like I'm gonna not really take out too many vampires because like the towns people are doing good And I want them to feel like this is their ship. You see that there has been a lot of a lot of bloodshed You see that there are people dead in the street, not just vampires, it's not just an easy victory.

You see that some are being overwhelmed by vampires or whites. They're already long gone. Okay, what will help out there? Is there being overwhelmed? Right, the one place where you do see the humans just emphatically losing is the red fan. As you run by the red fan, you see that

a crew of townsfolk have been scattered. It looks like they may have tried to raid the red fan, but you see that there are whites overwhelming them. These zombies with swords. And a few, you would assume that they are ex vampire spawn, who became free vampires after the Monk Humries died. You see three of these former vampire spawn now have silver hair and red eyes like the Monk Humries and they are leading the charge of a bunch of whites and stuff who are beating the shit out of townspeople. You see an old woman with a blender bus

trying to fight off a bunch of whites trying to defend. Oh yeah, Anne, is she? She's on the side. Trying to fight off a bunch of whites trying to defend You see she's trying to defend Sandy the shell Yeah, we gotta jump in there. Hey, should we pop these whiteheads? That's pop these whiteheads wait you guys go ahead and roll initiative About bound or still up in the hills you guys seem more fire and going up Seven you see a bee in flames. That's gonna be a nine for me. I sign. He's weighted dice. I'm just rolling. Nine's all day, baby. I don't know, man. You've already had two necked 20s today. Okay, no. It's whatever. You guys,

you guys rush in a battle. You see that there are, in this fight, you see that the towns people are losing and are starting to kind of retreat. Like they ran into the bar, got their asses kicked and started running away. The only one who is standing her ground is this old grandma with a blunderbuss who's trying to help an injured Sandy the Shell.

It's nice to try everybody. Nice try. So you see six whites, three of these former spawn who are now free vampires and 20 suck boys. 20. 20 suck boys. So tell me what you do.

JV, the person in most trouble right now is the woman with a blender bus. You can imagine she doesn't have a lot of HP. All right. Right. No, we'll of HP. All right. Right. No, we'll stand, Granny. Excuse me. I'm gonna swing my axit whoever's attacking Granny.

Sweet. And I'm gonna go into a rage as well. Sweet. It's one of the whites. Great. I'm gonna attack the white. Tick the white. 13.

Does not hit. Run. I'll take the thick and the tick. Like teen. 18 hits. Does not hit. Run. Take the thickened a tick. Like tane. 18 hits. JV runs up at a no where, uh, starts swinging on these whites. 15? 15 damage.

15 damage. Sweet. That's the end of JV's turn. That is the spawn's turn. Um, you see these three former spawn, these new free vampires are gonna run forward and Pounce on JV. Oh, we're gonna be the new block armories man. We're we're pretty fucking big deal now man. I can't knock their hustle Respect that is a 22 to hits on

a Clot attack they're all chasing clout, you know? Six damage on the first attack, and then they're gonna take a bite attack. This guy's gonna take a bite attack. Misses, it's a natural nine. Second guy goes, hits on a claw attack. Seven damage, takes a bite attack, misses, third guy goes,

misses on the first attack, misses on the bite attack, that is the whites. I'm gonna say there are six whites, so I'm gonna say two of them are gonna go after moonshine, two of them are gonna go after Bev, and two of them are going to turn around from this Blunderbust lady and go after our friend JV. Bringing here, I have no fear. Yeah. First one takes a long sword attack at JV.

That's gonna hit four damage, not a lot. Right. Takes a second attack, misses. Second guy crits 12 damage on JV, then the other two go after moonshine, misses on the first attack, hits on the second attack, 8 damage to moonshine. Next guy hits on the first attack against Bev, hits on the second attack against Bev, so 5 damage on the first attack against Bev. Hits on the second attack against Bev. So five damage on the first attack, six damage on the second attack Bev.

Oh, okay. And then second guy misses on the first attack, misses on the second attack. Okay. That is Bev's turn. I'm just going to launch myself into the thickest location of vampires, the thickest concentration. Sweet.

Up in, up where JV is fighting, JV's got two whites on them and three spawn on them. Okay, I'll head towards JV. They're for all, I'm gonna call them, I'm calling them X spawn because they've just become free vampires, but they have spawn stats. So I'll call them spawns. Munchine, I'm gonna head towards JV.

Yeah, dude up, young. All right, as I do, I might, my silver sword starts glowing, and I say, Miss Breaker, go towards the haze, and clear the evil stench of this land. Right! And that's a 22?

Super hits. Are you going after a white or a spawn? I'll go after, whatever one's stronger. The spawn is stronger wider response? I'll go after whatever one's stronger. The spawn is stronger. Okay, I'll go after a spawn. Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

You're a treasure. Okay. So now with this new sword, am I? It's a D extra D6 against evil. So spawn are definitely evil. Great. So you get a D8 plus a D6 plus your modifier. All right, so it's gonna be a 15 and then nice.

Uh, just 1d6. So just 1 extra. So 16 on my first attack, sweets. And I'll do one more attack if that's all right. That would be great. That's going to be 25. Uh, super hits. Okay.

Uh, 11 damage. Could've done better. Sweet. Uh, he is looking pretty hurt, but not super, super hurt, not a death store. Uh, that is Moon Shine's turn. Can you just appreciate some vampires who want to make a better laugh for themselves and become the new Monk gummeries and become the ones who take over this town? Normally!

But like, you're trying to break the wheel and make an even shittier wheel. No, no, it would be like a cool thing where it'd be like we live in the mansion and eat people It's not really any proof me no, but it would be us man. We're turning the mansion into a kindergarten I love it education so important brilliant Yeah, I guess I just attacked someone who looks weak okay Jivelyn was going after a little bit weaker than the other one. Is there any water around well? No, no, okay Not near the red fan. Does 20 hit super hits 18

18 damage geez. Yes super hurts 18 damage, geez. Yes, super hurts. Okay, now that's four is number six. Six on death's door, barely alive. That is the suck boys turn. You see the suck boys are going to, what I say, 20 suck boys, geez. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. I'll say 10 suck boys, son moonshine, 10 suck boys on Bev. Bring it. First five on moonshine 10 suck boys on Bev Bring it first five after moonshine The thing is the first time I had 10 boys on me Time out sick here actually. I don't even know what was on me in there moonshine your sass is your power keep it going Of the first five guys only one hits and does five damage. To moonshine.

To moonshine. Next five, take dagger attack a year. Are you flirting with me or fighting me? Flucking. We're trying. We usually like to just flirt two guys hit of the second round, and they do nine damage total. But Bev, you've got five suck boys going after you at first.

One of them hits, that's barely a birthday party. For only legit two damage. Okay. And then the next five go after you, two of them hit. One does three damage and one does four damage. So seven damage with that round. That is Blunderbust Lady. Blunderbust Lady is gonna take a shot at this white

that's right in front of her that was going after Sandy who's been injured and she looks like she was trying to help during the riots. Get the fuck away from my granddaughter, you fucking suck boys. Language. She takes a shot she hits she does seven damage to this one um she she blows a light's head off yeah girl

granny yeah it's fucking church folk thanks for fucking helping out man back up to jv you're no nanakine leaf you got any words you're fucking assholes. I'm gonna come around final, you have to fucking bunch of people died. You try to keep the governor land here. Yeah, no, we're trying to keep a ritual. We're all angry, we're all mad. We're most of all mad, man.

Oh yeah, thanks. We're even is finally fucking show up. Excuse me, is that- I'm gonna take a reckless attack because this lady's got me worked up. Hey! How you going after a spawner away? Granny with the wheel. The white, so the suck boys are the, the suck boys do the least damage under the easiest,

followed by the whites, followed by the spawn. Oh, okay. Um, it's just this crazy melee of, um, you know, all these townsfolk are running away. Who would have already hit the one that's had been blown off? You killed them? Yes. Oh, okay. So I guess I'll just go after another way. Just try to get-

Sweet. Yeah. Less attacks happening. If you guys also hit people, you can cleave. We haven't gotten to do that in a while because you guys have been fighting such tough enemies. Yeah. 29? 29 super hits. Wish JB crit on the same thing that hard one does.

Come on, fucking hit him, you fucking asshole. I love you, Granny. Are you smoking a joint? Yeah, I'm fucking smoking to join my life fucking success Fucking granddaughters own person I fucking talk to you one day she fucking comes home. She's dumb as hell 13 oh no 13 I tried to save your granddaughter. Yeah, you should have tried fucking harder didn't do shit I'm granny Yeah You should have tried fucking harder. It didn't do shit. That's right. I granny. Yeah. What? You're well.

Where are you from? I can't hear a pill. You some kind of fucking vampire. Come on, bummer. He's guess what? All right. You ain't gonna come along. We put a coming in a game game.

We got a coming in. We had that fucking ass all over there. She f**ked the moon side. All right. That finger ain't gonna stay on my hand much longer. If you keep talking like that. I'm fucking burning it on your face. You ain't the gun on the draculous. Ah, go ahead, JB, take your second attack.

Did anything happen to that one that I hit? Is not dead, is not dead. Yeah, no, he's not dead. Oh, key, 20 or 19, super hits. I do honor a poor sports everyone. I actually really respect this granny, so no one actually go after her. Oh, absolutely not.

I'm just trying to get her hot. 12 damage. Sweet. You know, not in like a sexy way. I mean like a hot like so that she's like shooting. Be honest, a little bit sexy. Mm. Maybe it's not so much my type.

This way is looking super hurt. That is the spawn stern. They are going to go after JV, continue going at them. First claw attack is a 20 to hit. Hits. Five damage. Takes a bite attack. Misses. That's an at-1. Second guy goes. First attack is an at-2. Shout out to the two crew.

Bite attack is going to hit though. Five piercing damage. And then you take full necrotic damage. So you take F-Full 11. Right, and that doesn't come back. That doesn't come back. Third guy goes first attack, NAT1 misses, NAT20 on the bite. So that is nine damage of piercing and then the necrotic damage, 21 necrotic damage.

Okay, that is the white's turn. There is only one hurt white that is still on JV. Well, you like the white so much, man. He's gonna take his swing, I don't. I want y'all to kill these guys. Misses on the first attack, takes a second long sword attack, misses, two more, go after moonshine. to kill these guys. Misses on the first attack takes a second long sword attack. Misses. Two more go after moonshine.

First guy in natural seven misses. Natural nine misses on a second attack. Second guy goes, natural nine misses. Natural two shout out to the two crew. Last two. You were all in with these dice. Last two. Can these become your new dice that you use all the time?

I'm so excited. I guess so. Last two go after Bev. We all use Dev's dice. Last two. Can these become your new dice that you use all the time? I guess so. Last two go after Bev. We all use Dev's dice. Shout out to the two crew. Shout out to the three crew. Holy shit. Last guy goes. Shout out to the core four.

That is a net nine, so that is only, God, that is fucking 13 hit. Mrs. Big Time. That is the end of the whites, that is Bebs Turn. Okay, great. I am going to cast Aura of Vitality. Ooh, I'm healing you. Yes, a new spell.

Just layers upon layers, I'm as young in. You're an onion of Auras. Beverly, sheathes sword, and thinks of something he read in a book. Healing energy radiates from you in an aura with a 30 foot radius until the spell ends. The aura moves with you centered on you. You can use a bonus action to cause one creature in the aura, including you to regain 2d6 hit points. Including you?

Yeah. Oh, but not you and the creature at the same time. One more. Okay, I get it. Is there anybody you would like to use a bonus action to heal? That's a good question. Including you. Oh, but not you and the creature at the same time. Okay, I get it. Is there anybody you would like to use a bonus? That's a good question. I'm at 17. It points. How is everyone else looking?

You know, why don't you heal yourself since you're the one with this aura? You're okay. All right. You sure? Your aura has a very distinct smell. Watch it heal me. You're fucking asshole. Should I heal the criminal?

I feel like when you're making cookies,, like you you try a little bit for yourself I haven't seen y'all are y'all in fucking vacation. I've been out here fucking fighting all goddamn day They got fucking come to vacation here. You think I can go on vacation and free the people I don't know I can see yeah, I ain't fucking see you before what you some fucking fancy place. You are so lucky You are so lucky that I'm not gonna attack you next round. Why? Because it would hurt you. And you're looking at her already.

All right, just one last question. Do you have any worthers originals? We never got a clear answer on that. No, I don't have any fucking worthers originals. You little asshole. We'll shoot you're fucking head off. About Nico Weifers. What?

Nico Weifers. Nico Weifers. I have Weifers. What? Nico Weifers, Nico Weifers. I have Weifers back at the chapel. I bet you do, right? It's back to a crisp, but. Tasted Weifers. Yes. Oh, yes.

It's like a little smore. Yeah. It's like a very thin sand smore. It's a Celeste. A lot. All right, knowing that she does not have any where there's originals, I heal myself. Yeah.

What's in it for me, ladies? All right, that's only six more, but I'll take it. Sweet. That is Mochite Stern. All right. Who is attacking Grandma? Grandma, JV has taken some of the heat off grandma. Okay, who's looking hurt? Should we the weakest there is a one of the white?

The most tattered clothing one of the white guys I'm just a zombie guy 24 to hit super hits 12 On death's door mother fucker. I spores him more than six. Whoo to forward to hit. Super hits. 12. On Death's Door. Motherfucker, I spores him. More than for six. Woo!

Peace out, bitch. You guys kill another white. That is the suck boys turn. 10 of them are gonna take swings at moonshine first. I just picture them skanking, I don't know why. Yeah. The fuck it loves scum, man. Of the first round of five, two guys hits. One guy to six damage, one guy to two damage. That's eight damage. Next five go.

All mistakes are for one, five damage. Then that is the suck boys that are going after Bev, five of them attack, three of them hit this time, 17 damage, and then the next five go, all of them miss. That is Blunderbust Lady. She is going to take a shot. Don't you shoot the elf. Our fucking'm fucking wanna but I'm not gonna. She shoots at one of the whites. Dangerously close to Mochite Ted. Oh, sorry, did I nick you there? You fucking asshole. She hits with the fucking blunderbust.

Oh, she does nine damage. Oh, that's too bad because I did a lot more damage than that. Oh yeah you want me to put the fucking gun away You look pretty like her on fucking dead store. I want you to see. We're on the same goddamn side So why don't you stop talking shit? Yeah, yeah, runnin talk shit. I'm old as fucking hell. I live in goddamn Grimhawk Just cuz your old doesn't mean you get to be an asshole. Yeah, well my goddamn granddaughters goddamn shell coming out of this fucking bar Everybody come out to this fucking bar. I'm trying I'm the only one who fucking tried and yeah Hard enough that's javie's turn. She's quite hypocritical

Come on here my brisk fucking don't do shit. I meant to whisper I'm gonna do reckless attack on whatever. Fuckin' don't do shit. I'm into whispering. I'm gonna do a reckless attack on whatever that white is that was hurt. Sweetie me. 19. 19 hits. Yes. There you go.

13 damage. Sweet. And I'll take my second to tick. Mm-hmm-hmm. 22 hits. This isn't safe. 13 damage. 13 damage. Okay. This one that was hitting Moonshine, that the lady Blunderbust is looking very hurt.

JV, at the end of your turn, go ahead and roll just a pure luck check. D20, 15 or higher, something great happens. Ooh. I rolled the one. One, nothing. That's the one bun. Shout out to the one bun. That is the spawns turn.

Spons are gonna go after a JV. It's a bad bun. Should've used Kaldwell's dice. First attack. Shout out to the two crew on the claw attack. Bite attack is a miss on the first guy. Second guy goes. That is a 18 to hit.

That does hit. Okay, that is eight damage on the claw attack, takes a bite attack, misses, third guy goes, claw attack, shout out to the two crew, bite attack hits. Last guy hits on the bite attack. That is going to be... Necrotic. That is seven damage, half to four.

And then 10 Necrotic damage. Oh yeah. That is Bev's turn. How's everyone doing health wise? I'm sporing everyone just to check in. Yeah, I got three. Okay, I'm at six, but three is worse so I think that you I think you need to stay up so that you can keep healing people with that aura Are you absolutely sure? Yeah, just like if I go down maybe heal me so that I don't have to die permanently because this would be a really sad But to just fucking eat it for great. I don't want to die in the read Finn

I'm not gonna like it not a place to die. I never respect your wish. Like if this is the end of my story, that'd be like some game of thrones level disappointment. I want you. This is also a hard one, Doug. That's true, too. It's the best thing. It's the person venue.

Yeah, it's a suck. Yeah, fuck this place. It's a place of suck's ass. Battle and we agree. Thank you. Moonshine, I want you to live long enough to see this old lady eat it. What? Why the fuck would you want me to eat it? I just want to see your get stung by beer.

What? That's the vengeance. I got fucking beat by the goddamn vampire before both of us. Oh, yeah, I want to see your trip. Yeah, my life fucking sucks. I want to see you like get a parking. I'm gonna have 87 years old out of your fucking white vampire. Smell that fucking sucks Where'd you get a gun fucking fight? What are you doing? Gonna reroll that one these lucky lucky dice. What are you attacking? Oh? Good question

There's one very hurt white on moonshine three more more healthy whites, three more spawn, one of them is a little bit hurt. I'm gonna go towards moonshine so that I can like kind of wedge myself against her to protect her from oncoming spawn. Sweet. Go ahead and... I'm going to go much more hip-boys than me. Don't be a hero, Beth! We're getting through this. Don't be a hero! Take a crack and... I'm gonna die at the red

Don't say that we're all gonna die to god damn fucking red Loud ass place fucking so loud all night. I can't fucking sleep I'm freaking done with this place and I'm not losing anyone else all right That's a 26 to hit super hits 14 on the first hit uh, Bev you kill one and slash into another one. All right. I'm just gonna keep slashing That's going to be 19 to hit super hits. Yeah, yeah 12 damage sweet This one's starting to look a little hurt and then I'll go ahead and can I split the D6?

I can't know. Okay, all right cool. I got I don't I don hurt and then I'll go ahead and can I split the D6? I can't. No. Okay, all right. Cool. I don't know if I use, it's been a while and I don't know if I used your amulet last one. Oh my god. Yeah, you guys can use the amulet. Yeah.

Did I not use your amulet? You should do that. I don't think you did. All right. Well, I'll, should I use my amulet? I should probably use my amulet. Yeah, it's been long enough that we could have like, all right, cool.

Yeah. All right, I use my amulet and I'll save the healing for cool. Like that's a bonus action. So that's that moogin' that's your turn. Who's got the most tattered clothing? There's a white that Bev came up and slashed off ya. That's just cool, then look.

Bring it out. The grainy's outfit looks pretty green actually. I was fine. As whole, I've been fucking fine people. I'm fucking living in a guy's house by myself. I'm fucking granddaughter's a shell. Hey, granny, all animosity is sad. This one's for you.

What? Oh no! You full on drop your sword as you say that. I look at her in the eyes of the sh- First, he knows I did that on person. God, don't worry. He has an insult. God, fuck me.

And then I have spores the tattered one for six. See, okay. And then I look at Bev's amulet. Sweet. Get a gander. That is a suck boys turn. First five. I'm gonna pick it up.

They're cracks at moonshine. We just want to focus and hang out and drink. One guy hits, four damage. Next five, take their cracks at moonshine. Two of them hit, six damage from one guy, five damage from another guy, another 11 damage. First five go after Bev. That is, Bev, how much AC do you have, do you have 19?

20. 20, none of them hit. First five, next five go. One guy hits. Two for a big two damage. Wow, I'll walk into. That is Blunderbuss lady. She's going to take a shot at the hurt white.

Is this one for me? So this for you, asshole. Shot up to the two crew. She blows another one. She just shoots the blunderbuzz out your hair. Oh, sorry, did I nick you there? I want you to get hurt. I gotta be honest, Granny, I'm getting affectionate

towards you again. No more missing, just to prove a point, all right? Yeah. Back up to JV. We could stay enemies, but we'll hit right The club to JB's come to come to winning this award I didn't want to focus on the prize. Don't think the ship now. Let's free speech is important 28 hits 21 Let's free speech is important. 28 hits. 21.

Uh, it's 21 damage. 21 damage. Jesus, this one's on Death's Door. I'll take another attack. 27 hits. 17. Uh, you slash one white down and then do 15 damage, show another one as you cut it in half. Yes

That is Oh, JV at the end of your turn go ahead and roll up your luck check 11 or higher and something good will happen. I know it has something goes gonna be Shout out to the two crew To the two crew to the two crew. I really wanted a two on these two. That is the spawns turn. Oh my god.

It's like why did I even save hard one if he's not gonna fuck a show up? That's what he's getting. Claw attack against JV, misses, bite attack against JV. This is the first guy. Do you want to decide who your guys are now? Oh yes. Oh yeah.

Second guy goes. First Claw attack is gonna hit. Six damage. What? Takes a bite attack, misses, shut out to the core four. Second guy goes first claw attack is gonna hit six damage right Takes a bite attack misses shut out to the core four next one claw attack misses Bite attack that is a 17 hit that hits hits okay, so that is I hate the red fence so much Will you promise me that if we win this war that you'll turn this mother fucking place into a DMV

Promise me that if we win this war, that you'll turn this mother fucking place into a DMV. JV, if we win this fight, I swear I was going to level it, but a dp stands. So it's so much worse. Nine damage have to four. And then, oh, only two necrotic damage. Great. That is the White's turn. One White goes against Bev, misses on the first attack. It's on the second attack of the Long Sword. That's six damage, Bev. You got the moves. So sassy. All you do is turn to the side.

Paper thin. I'm like two dimensions. So slant. Second one goes, hits on the first attack, 20 to hit. Nine damage, second long sword swing misses. That is Bev's turn. Okay, Jivelin, how you looking on hell? Not bad, 20? Okay, do you, have you looked at the amulet yet? You haven't. Yes, I looked at the amulet.

You looked at the amulet. I'm not gummry. All right, moonshine, how are you? I'm, he'll jivelin, I got 22. Okay, all right. I'm ensuring how are you? I'm you heal Jim one I got 22 okay, all right. You know No, that's fine. That's fine. Don't worry about me He'll heal heal Jim I heal the old lady

He'll be over it's fucking well. It was me between me and the granny I was the granny. She's fine. All right, I'm gonna attack first and then I will heal Jivela. 18, 18 hits. I'm hitting a week one. One of the whites. Yeah.

One of the whites. 17 on the first hit. Kill one and start slashing into another one the last white. Here comes the last white. 19 to hit hits. Yeah, yeah. That's going to be 14 plus extra five. So 19.

What a strong bowl. Nice. This white is looking messed up. And then I extend my aura like a strand of smoke coming off of a warm pie. Ooh. It's going right toward Granny, and I stick in front of it. That's what I meant.

All right, fucking asshole. Out of the way. That is, that is, is that is that is moonshine's turn. I agree I know I was talking a lot of shit before and you know but this one really is for you. You better kill this fucking zombie. I really wanted to get another net one. But I got a 25. Hits. Hell yeah. 12. Almost dead on the store.

All right, I just bore some for six more. Moonshine finish this white. Yes. Okay, I'm gonna say, Granny, you know what? I think I'm not strong enough. Only a peasant led rebellion can save Grimm Hawk. Can you just do me the honor? And I just impale among Granny's guns.

That was funny, as hell, you fuckin' ass. A lot like you, you sassy piece of toast. And when we meet with a gun rules. No. That is the suck voice, Taron. You see the suck voice, you're just like, fuck. First five go after moonshine.

One of them gets it's one e to hit. Now? No, that's two damage. Next five go after moonshine. Two of them hit. Nine damage moonshine two of them head Nine damage moonshine The next five go after Bev all of a miss congratulations Beverly huh next five go after Bev all of a miss Congratulations, I just never leave I get in line and start skanking with them. That is, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, Granny right so you got three spawn and 20 suck boys

Oh, it's suck boys are the weak boys. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna Three spawn there's one spawn that's taking some damage, but not much right I'll go after I'll go after then sweet Ricklessly 22 just sounds I know it really doesn't sound reckless at all. I love it. 15. It's Christmas. You're saying that you're unhinge, but I gotta be honest. I'm facing you.

I'm facing you. It's just so common. 15 damage roll. Yeah, okay. Out of chaos. This one's looking pretty hurt. Then I'll wildly attack. You just have, it looks like you just got your hair cut.

Like you look that fresh. I grit together. Nice. My fresh cut and my wimple. You just have it looks like you just got your haircut like you look that fresh. I'm Chris nice I like fresh cut in my wimple. It's about time you finally fucking did something Cherchy. Have you ever considered being the mayor? Yeah, I'd love to be the goddamn mayor fucking mayors or fucking vampires and shit. Man, don't worry about this. 38 damnage. 38 damnage? Jesus.

You fully kill a spawn JV go ahead and roll a pure luck check What are the chances that are all three right now? Six brutal. No good things happen. That is. Oh, this fucking red fan. That is the spawn.

I'm kicking the, what do you call that? Oh, the saloon doors? The, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is first claw attack on you, Jivelin hits. Right. That's five damage, half to three. Takes a bite attack.

It's gonna hit on the bite attack. Shingles, that's what we're on. Shingles, five piercing damage. Ah. Eight in a chronic damage. Right. So piercing damage, half to two. Eight in a chronic.

Second guy goes, shout it to the two crew, misses on the claw. Crits on the bite. Jiveland, we need you to rate this place very poorly on Yelp. Yeah, maybe that's how we can do it. Nine damage of piercing half to four. Let's start a Yelp smear campaign. 14 necrotic damage. What?

Are you up, Jive? Steal up. That is the white stern. They're all dead by That's your turn alright So we got two more two spawns and 20 suck boys Well, I like the checkered pants and vans We're gonna be we're gonna fucking real big fish. We're gonna turn this all into a scot town. Consider that we might need to retreat,

because. These suckboys will fall, they'll fall easy. Suckboys fucking suck ass. I don't, I almost killed one, I'm old as hell. Floating the idea for Sank's it's six. Disengaging is a good idea, but I don't wanna embarrass myself in front of this grandma.

I'm not. It's music sucks. Hi man, you don't know shit. It's no wrong. It's too fresh in that I get. You don't like that song man? Nothing's better than snow patrol. You hear in the distance found or.

You're damn right. Oh, I'm glad you're okay. Oh, Beth, go ahead. Are you, I was your HB? I'm at 11 but I mean, I feel like you standing is more important. I'm not bad, go ahead. Are you, I was your HP? I'm at 11, but I mean, I feel like you standing is more important. I'm okay. I don't have any healing capacity left

and you're the only one with any healing capacity left. All right, well that's all, I think as long as we're all hovering, once we get rid of these spawn, I think we'll be okay. So I'm gonna attack the spawn, sweet. It's 14 hit, 14 does not hit. All right. It's 14 hit. 14 does not hit. Oh, all right. Right.

19 hits. Great. 16 suites. And I will go ahead and heal Moonshan for 2d6. Oh, he's so good to meet Ben. Nice. Ah, five. I'll take it.

Moonshan, that's your turn. I'm gonna go after the spawn that Bed was just sweating. Does it say 15 hit? It does. Yeah. Yes. We know they're AC. 20.

Ooh, pretty hurt. Spores him for six. Pretty hurt. That is a suck boys turn Five go after moonshine two of them hits Seven damage on the first attack Five damage on the second attack 12 damage next five go

One of them gets a 19 to hit does that hit you? Yeah, my eyes. Okay Three damage Oh my god, it's so good that you healed me that I'm down to one. Oh my god. Next five go after. I think we got it. I got to just engage. I'm just gonna die at the fucking red fan. Yeah, against Bev. First round misses. Second round. One guy gets a 20 to hit. He hits two for four, Beth. Okay. That is- JV, actually, you know what? I'm not gonna disengage. JV, I'm trying to support you in this fight.

I am gonna die. Do you want me to die for your cause? I'll die for your cause. I want you to run. I want you to live. I'm gonna die here at the red fin. Wonderbust, ladies turn. I don't want anyone to die at the red fin.

Play your fucking sucks. Okay, so- You're damn right, it fucking sucks. If It's dying. It's at a Ruby Tuesday Wonderbust lady blows off one of the suck boys heads. Yes, here we go one of them's dead. That's back up to Jevy I'm going to a tech recklessly. Oh my god. Rickless attack Caution to the wind. 21. Woo! Super hits.

17. Oh my goodness. This one's on Death's Door. Let's get him over the edge. Another reckless attack. That's right, edge him. 27. Super hits.

16. Geez, you cut one in half and cut into the other one. Who has taken a bit of damage. JV, go ahead and give me a pure luck check. Right, so listen up to him. Use my dice. Moira, kill him. Yeah, the red fan.

If I don't roll lucky here, run. Oh, I thought you were doing a snow patrol reference. If I don't roll here. 11. That is exactly what we said. You made it. JV, you see moonshine insanely hurt. You see bev incredibly hurt. You're fighting the spawn doing as much as you can, but you're down to your last breath. You're super injured, super hurt. Schmorg and Ginny rush in and Schmorg just goes in and punches Through a bunch of the suck boys

That is a super hits. Oh sweet pea think the dust smog Ginny my friends I you see Ginny looks overhead turned and looks up at moonshine bath. Oh, you're trying to be good guys now. That's good. We're doing our best. Yeah. You guys were a bit misunderstood,

but I'm happy that all my friends are meeting you. You guys see, Smyrk punches through three dudes' heads and just crushes them. Move, move. It takes a second to attack. Hits. Smyrk. This is why I hang out with them. Smyrk. Yeah, good. Yeah, it's always awkward attack. Hits. Schmorg. This is why I hang out with him.

Schmorg. Yeah, good. Yeah, it's always awkward when your friends meet. Kills another four. That is Ginny's turn. Ginny jumps down. It just starts. It's just a fucking horror scene when

they show up just stabbing into suck boys. Ginny goes, she hits. You see, she slashes through another two of them. She takes a second attack. These guys are fucking paper, they have 9 HP. She hits on her second attack, and she cuts through another two. There are eight suck boys left after that. That is the spawns turn. Only one left goes after JV, claw attack. That's a 22 to hit.

Nine damage. JV is going to turn into a miss. No, right. You can't die. Even with four. Yeah, with it too. Okay, you guys see JV turns to ash. JV no, okay, just other Revenants remind me This is okay. We just happened right? That's on this is ashes don't get lost and you see Jenny looks really sad Wait, but wait, no, we got them out of the church. We didn't get my sisters That's fair bevs turn okay That's fair. Bev's turn. Okay.

I look at J-wait, no, I can't because JV is gone. I'm a misnove. Uh, I look at... A Vengeme. Ha ha ha! I'm gonna prepare. I tell you what, that mist is more the finest mist of fuckers I ever met in my life.

Please pick up my wee-boo. Ha ha ha ha! This whipple fell to the ground. No! Rear! Oh my, please pick up my wee-boo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha these suck boys. Sweet. That's 19, super hits. The light of Polar shines through you, youngin. The light of Polar and his dusky daughter. JB, there you go. The dust mother is his Polar's daughter, right? Yes, okay.

Oh, okay, so you move pretty slow. The dust barely floats at all. Yeah. Mostly lingering along. Yeah, I was, we could just kind of keep talking. Well, that just, shine a flashlight at him I get what attack of the dust right is them is the misty dust is that like is it shaped kind of like chivalin still?

That's 15 on the first hit nice That's a nat 20 Good guys you also get to roll the D6 against evil twice. Ooh, noice. Alright. 18 plus 10. So 20 damage on my first on that attack. Sweet.

Super hurt. Oh, those were my attacks. Yeah, those were my attacks. Then I'll go ahead and heal Moonshine again. Thank you. Nice. Of course, Moonshineine again. Thank you. Nice. Moonchine, that's your turn. This spawn is very hurt.

I just wrote two ones. I appreciate you. I appreciate you. It's all I can spare. You know what? Three is my lucky number. I think I like put my hand on you. I send my aura out and I'm like,

it's going to taste like a blueberry puff. You hope it tastes just like that, babe. Ooh, I feel so strong. Thank you so much, young man. You don't look any better. Does it? 16 hit. 16 super hits.

Yeah, come here, bitch. Mm-hmm. That's gonna be a 18. 18 moonshine finished this spawn. Woo! Okay, so I know every vampire now, don't do it, don't do it. Essentially, Bev's aura's gotta be really like holy, right? Yeah.

I'm gonna just drag him into Bev's hole. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, head explodes, this is just a little bit. Yeah. Take a big whiff, it tastes like a log cabin. Oh, it spills spilled spills like ass Head explodes that is just suck boys my god Um, that is the suck boys turn. They are all going to turn into bats and start flying away

Lady Pulse one I'm like a turd, yes, I'm a butterbust lady. Poo. Shoot's one. Hits one. Turns from being a bat to a very injured suck boy and is just laying twitching on the ground. Yeah, fuck you asshole. That is back up to JV. JV's a dust.

How much JV is a dust? JV, do you see that when the old lady hit the bat out there and it turned into twitching suck boy. Yes, it was bad as JV go towards my aura I'm alright. I'm alright lad. No, it's a good caramel pie. It's really not everyone's being quite polite with you I'm still working on the flavors. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Shmorgh has these stats of a fire giant you see him him and Ginny just

run off just grabbing fucking bats and she's quick she's hopping up and stabbing at the other thing. See Shmorgh just grab a bat and in his hand it turns into a vampire. Yeah, that's good. Just a vampire with a crushed skull. Wow. And you guys are out of magic. You guys have wiped out a bunch of these vampires. Hey, Granny, good game, good game. I want to do like a little bit. Y'all ain't so fucking bad. So a fall man shot with her.

She walks over. She gives you guys handshakes. Can I also real quick take Handy Andy and I want to give him 10 gold pieces and have him stealthily put it into Granny's pocket. Oh, that's so sweet I go ahead and make a slighty handshake So with handy Andy you get a plus 13 to slide a fan. Oh my god 23 23 you slip it right in she doesn't even notice. What do you say we burned down this fucking place?

Yeah, I've been waiting to yeah, and then let's piss on the ashes so that the ashes it sucked to. And then Jivelin can make, I don't know, like a family friendly restaurant here. No, the DMV, we're turning this, we're turning this a hellhole into a DMV. Oh, you're a bureaucratic piece of shit. So you guys run into, you guys run into the red fan. There's more suck boys in there. You fucking take care of them real quick. A bunch of So you guys run into you guys run into the red fan There's more suck boys in there you fucking take care of them real quick a bunch of remember like hiding and trying to get away cowardly like hiding behind chairs and then popping out trying to stab you at the last second a grainy blows a couple of them up You guys go in and fucking wreck the red fan

Yeah, we should also though, like, let's burn this place to the ground, but shouldn't we go make sure that JV's ashes are good? I don't want to. Yeah. Because it's like kind of chaos down there. I want to make sure he's okay. Yeah. I kind of like trying to gather up the smoke of JV,

and then we head towards the church, or the remains of the church. Yeah, I think we need to go to the remains of the church and make sure. So as you guys rush out of the red fan, as the townspeak have taken over raising it, you see that the tide has completely turned in the townspeaks favor, now that you guys have taken out the Montgomery's and the red fan.

And people are celebrating in the streets everywhere and you guys see as you exit the Red Fan and start heading towards downtown towards the church, you run into a hard one running uptown, now a silver haired with red eyes. I just don't recognize him. I just don't recognize him. Come on, come on, everyone. Yes, come on the vampires, but not this one. Who's that Zaddy there?

Who is that? Hard one? Well, hard one. Who's that Zaddy there? Who is that? Harwan? Oh my god damn it. I really didn't want you guys to see me like this. Oh, I hug him instantly. Yeah. Oh yeah. Are you giving in?

Harwan is good to see you. You're okay. You guys. You got out of the wine cellar. Yeah, thanks for putting me there. It's all felt a little bit like a bad dream, but I guess this really happened. I tried to kill you guys. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't worry about that. Honestly, you know, what water under the bridge, but you're not water and not water. I really

hate it. You're even hearing you guys say the word. Blood under the bridge, bud. Blood. Oh, geez, don't talk about that. But how do you feel though? You feel free, you feel control your own actions, not someone else's puppet. I'll tell you what, I feel, I don't feel like myself, but I don't feel like a slave to anybody,

and I feel grateful to you. Thank you for, for freeing me. Thank you for locking me in that cellar so I couldn't fuck anybody up. Yeah. I know, that's why I did it because I was like, he's too powerful. I knew it.

And he's gonna become King of the Vampire. Oh, raw. I smashed my forehead against Blue Chine. You're too powerful. You're too powerful. You smashed Blue Chine's head. You see some townsfolk in the background. Hey, vampires attack.

It could be people. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends.

We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends.

We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. We good vampire. We got good vampire ladies and gentlemen everyone's read the word about the good vampire Right the children's book about it. You need me to go into the red fennel for there and kill anybody We actually burnt that thing to the crisp. Uh-huh. We were decided between a smear a Yelp smear campaign and Burning it to the ground and a slow burner of fast one. Yeah, exactly precisely. Say a DMV. Yeah Can't imagine a fate worse than that. I guess if you want to register your cart. Yeah, that's what's for. What else would it be for?

I could license it. That's a good point. The driver driver. Driver. Department of motor. Department of vehicles. A fuel vehicle. There you go. Fuel pulled carts. Thank you so much. Yeah. Oh, hard one. I'm so sorry. This this is so good to see you but we just got to go check on our friend JV and his ashes. Yeah, yeah, my one my one major fear was that you guys would forget about me and make a new friend but that sounds good. But you guys suddenly see, hoping behind you is a balnor just super sweaty and he just grabs his knees and he goes, I burned so many tombs. Wow. That's good. You look alive. You look like that felt good. I feel good. Hey, balnor, everyone good here. Oh, yeah. Hard one. Love this over here.

Right. Looks good. Got kind of a Geralt of Rivia thing going on. Yeah. Super sweet. That's one cool consolation. Thanks for saying that. Do you want to eat me? You have no idea how much that means to me. Both the compliment and the offer. I think I'm good. Maybe we can find some kind of shitty critter

like a stallion that I can eat. Cheers, sharing. Just an untamed Mustang. Just a beautiful wire. Hold on, right, right. I have a question a rules question if I do some in Steve can I just create a horse that hard one can eat? I'll allow it. I think technically technically it's a celestial animal Uh-huh, but I think it's that's like we can bend it all right great

Certainly I'll let you do like in our connoissek to make a real meaty horse. That's fucking horrible Can't moonside just some in some goddamn rats? I don't have spells true Great, certainly. I'll let you do like in our conno-check to make a real meaty horse. That's fucking horrible. Can't move in time to some of the goddamn rats. I don't got spells. True, just let me, you don't need to feed him right now. He's not starving yet. I'm anchoring, I'm feeling it. I'm just pecking.

I'm just pecking. Can I just do like a, no my nature ain't great. He doesn't need to eat right there. Can I do like a survival check for some animals? Yeah, you can try to find a rat in the, uh. Hey, hard one. Who always provides for you. Oh, that's my moody. 13. 13. What do you got for me? What kind of

be? Well, I'm fine. She's sobbing. We're looking at you. See a big rat that looks like this rat is a shell like another vampire aided already. Look at this smart rat. Look at this smart rat. Look at this smart rat I got you. Yeah. I am Palmo Rosalina. I say kabobs up. I'm hungry. I pick it up and I kneel before moonshot and I say I want you to know that when you turn me into a possum that was

the greatest honor of my entire life. Yeah, I was kind of waiting for maybe a one-on-one moment to talk about some of the stuff that happened because I didn't feel great about doing gay us on you. Just so you know, that was not my first choice, turning you into an awesome and manipulating you slightly. You couldn't have chosen a more noble beast for me to inhabit. Rare. I'd like the rats tail first. I eat it from the ass. The torture of the animal makes you feel better. It's a juicy rum. Hard one, the tail isn't a straw. I don't know if you...

Oh yeah, you want that to be a shake? You want a shake? I take the rat and I shake it up. I would love a road. This is gruntess. A rat me down. All right, I'm going to double fist two rats as we watch too. So you guys see that this kind of Grimhawk Civil War is wrapping up and that people are

kind of celebrating and there are already people, you know, there's a lot of people that have just kind of collapsed of exhaustion and are just, you know, sitting there kind of catching their breath, tending to each other's wounds. You see some people like cleaning up debris or putting out fire. Some people are just straight up going home because they're so fucking exhausted. You guys go back to the church,

the church that is destroyed. You guys find the earns that you hid of a ginny and schmorg, and I would think you hid Bortram and JV's earns as well. Bortram was destroyed by Montgomery, so he's gone forever, but JV will come back within 24 hours, you hope. But anyway, let's go over to JV. So JV, this has happened before.

You have been killed before, so it's not super unusual. Just another day in the life. JV, you find yourself, like you found yourself before, in this other dimension, this kind of in-between world. You see the ground is all cracked and dry. It is dusk. You see a little bit of sun and you see fog everywhere and you see in

the distance is a lantern and you know that this is how you go back. You die. You go to this little dusk world. You go grab your lantern and you're able to come back. That's how you regenerate. So you start rushing towards your lantern and as you're able to come back, that's how you regenerate. So you start rushing towards your lantern, and as you're doing it, you hear in the distance, help, help, where is it? Where is it? Where is it? I can't find it.

Oh, is that a little girl? Is that Rosa? You see, in the fog, Rosa turns to you, this little half-ling girl. You know her because you've talked to these twins and stuff. You know that they were kind of like you. They were bandits that were kind of adopted by nefarious people and then used, they were used as like assassins

and you see she's got all these like burn scars all over her face and stuff because people thought they were witches and so they they torched them and she runs up to you and she goes, J.V. I can't I can't I can't find my lantern. Ah well look at that. There's a lantern right here. Ah, well look at that. There's a lantern right here. She looks down the way towards your lantern and she goes, are you sure that's mine? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go look for mine.

You go right ahead. And remember, when you get back to Shadowfill, tell everybody I said, when you get back to Shadowfill, tell everybody I said thank you. And remember to turn the red fin into a DMV. Alright. I, you see, she laughs, she grabs you by the shoulders. And she goes, we're really doing it. We used to be bad, but now we're doing good. She gives you a little kiss on the cheek and then you see her take off towards the lantern. All right, scurry along.

I'm right behind you. You see she goes off. And back in the real world, you guys see out of JV's earn, these ashes come up and reform. It's almost like watching a genie or something come out of the bottle. And you see Rosa forms, this little girl. And you see a genie and schmork come back in and schmork lets out this like gutter-o-l mone. You see he rips his mask off and he's got a wound that

had like destroyed his jaw so he can't properly talk, but he just lets out a really happy moment. Ooh! And you see, Ginny runs over, sister, sister runs over and gives Rosa a hug. And... Do we understand what happened? Rosa looks at you guys and she goes,

Jeevi, help me find my lantern. And then he said that thank you for helping Grimhawk and that to turn the red fan into a DMV. That fucking asshole. That fucking saint. You know, I thought we were doing good, but we've got a long way to go. Well, Rose, bring it in. I know last time we met we were fighting, but

Right now I feel like you just you got a little you got a little a little touch of J.B. On you and I need it close to me. We are the light in darkness. We are the light in the darkness. And J.V. you are in this desolate wasteland. And yeah, you've got this cracked ground underneath you fog in all directions and you saw Rosa take the last lantern and run off you stand there for a while probably how does how does JV feel in this moment I guess an eerie sense of calm, blessed, he feels at ease.

So, J.V., you just stand there amongst the fog, not even looking for another lantern. You know that roses is gone. You know that you gave yours away. And then you see the fog begins to clear. And you see an image in the far distance of the dusk mother, this angelic being with these big wings in this hood hanging over her face. And you see she's standing like before the sunset, before the light in the dusk.

And you see she gestures towards the sun. You look directly towards her and it becomes very bright. And your eyes adjust and you see that the entire sky is now white and you see a vision of Moridan. This big dwarf god in platinum armor hold this hand out to you. Uh, Duskmother, you're all right with this, yes? Uh, you see Duskmother, uh, looks up at Moridan, uh, he laughs. Ha, ha, ha, ha, he really is a good guy. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, was short with some kind of a taste. Uh, no, she really went to fucking bat for you, man. I thought you were, I thought you were a real rotten son of a bitch jumping a bunch of Crick-Obs I mean come on What a what a mistake But it brought me here so I thank you desk mother and Hi there I'm jibbling. I you see he's a nice to meet you jibbling. Well have a long time to catch up

And he pulls you into the heavenly abyss Sweeties And that's where we'll end our session I wish I could hug you across the table. I don't know I was gonna die that episode I can't wait we lost to who people in one freaking day. Oh, Grimock sucks. Grimock sucks. Oh, it's the red fan.

He got such a beautiful death, though. I wish you make a bar t-shirt that says, fuck the red fan. Fuck the red fan. I went to the red fan. It's just a picture of the red fan, Yelp, and it's just like one star. One star Yelp review. I went to the red fin and all I got was unceremoniously murdered. Ha ha ha. Really, really though, what is a better end for JV? Is it to like start up the the new Grimhawk y'all? I was excited for that. I thought it was very sweet.

That's good. He's a new boyfriend. I thought it was very sweet. That he saved. He is a new boyfriend. But we're gonna talk more about this on a short press. Yes, we are. Be so dope. Cause hard one and JV never met. Never know. That's so funny.

So he would be able to see Gemma and her new boyfriend. But we wouldn't be able to, so we wouldn't be able to tell her, tell him that it's JV. She's with some other fucking dwarf. So it's got a mohawk. It's got a mohawk. Should I have a mohawk?

He has two axes. Why? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. He got an axe and then died. Fucking poor one out for JV. Oh my god.

I'll talk about this more on the short rest. Go on over to patreon.com slash and ad pod. That's NADD, POD, don't sing yet. Guys, we got some stuff to plug. Check out me in Emily's sketch show. It's called Hot Dates, Ville Bonnet Flix. You can also go over to Amazon and pick up our book. It's called Hey You Up.

How to turn your booty call into your emergency contact. It's a satirical relationship advice book called, what do you got? I would like to plug our PO box. We had some fun stuff come in. Oh, yeah. Right. If you want to send us stuff, you can do it at 1920

Hillhurst Avenue, number two to two. Los Feliz, California, 90027. I love checking that little cube. Oh, yeah. Jake, what do you got? BrotherSister, that little cube. Oh yeah. Jake, what do you got? BrotherSisterCo.com. Oh yeah. My family's beard oil business.

Do you have a lot of proof? Oh, that also a lot of proof. You put it in the bar. Also a sister-mister. And also the sister-mister. You put it on your bod. It's for the dust-mothers. You love it.

You know JV's sister-mister, Gemma. Oh, yeah. I'm glad you got it. That was some good branded content Everybody follow my fan fiction for a beard oil miss out for a brother sister. We want to see that we want to see that jivelyn jema art JG My goodness that was jv. That was so that was so sweet of jv. Oh my god, bravo Got a bunch of I just hip-checked Rosas

You told just gone bitch. Yeah. Bye, Bench. Bye, Bench. Sweet. Cool. Thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Twitter at CH Murfesmeat at called these call dwell, at eAxford is Emily and

at J. Kerwitz's Jake and tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are we are the youth of the nation, we are we are the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Yeah, so good. Starting with Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven, instead of going to the gym Brad works out by holding up his terrified cousins whenever they jump into his arms. every morning. The memories may be fake, but the gains are real." Dylan B. A sword-wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, also surrounded by a floating army of scabards. It's a goddamn mess.

Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hardwons, senior portrait at the dwarf in it. Unfortunately, hardwons was broken, couldn't pay for it, which is actually the real reason he left Iron Deep. Spencer Casperu, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods, and here is a Bohumi alike, made us stout so thick and black, you need dark vision just to drink it. Yummy! Beared man Dan, the longest beared in all of Bohumi,

a Dan was recently made an honorary green teen after letting them use his beard as a rope for a jamboreen tug of war. Scott D, one of the vampires killed during Balnor's savage raid of Grimhawk, turns out his tuna sandwiches are super garlicky. Yum! Hermes W, the back king.

Hermes is actually just a pet store owner who specializes in bats. If bats are your thing, call the back king. Sparta is the biggest meanest green teen. Instead of touching hands, Sparta's punches face. Whoa, Adam R, the R rated assassin. If they're too busy, they give the job to their little brother Timmy, a G rated assassin who kills people by hucking them to death.

Danielle the Dasterly Dame, Danielle so dasterly that she stole Rola's R-Rosa's Revenant lantern so that she could read books at night. Who see aka hall door frostback MVP of the giant wars crewed on the SS stormborne and fought alongside Elias and Red met dead eye at a party once, but it was mid-orgy so they're not sure if dead I remember them or not. Daniel U aka Multifor the many face magician. Multifor is very hard to sneak up on because they always sleep with 21 eyes open. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the Ram. Jordan is actually a drider who uses their spider limbs to spin both records and webs. It's super messy.

Jeffrey S. Lutter, the fjord, born of the sword and cleaner of pores. That's right. Jeff just got a facial and their skin is absolutely radiance. Ooh, Cutter W, a high-ealth dandy turned, Crick bark attack, currently trying to build a candy house for the Feywild Witch, but keeps getting hungry midway through. John S. aka Shupr The Mushroom earns a living by serving as a gnome Zambrella, it's the most adorable minimum wage gig ever. Ryan M, Hardwan's Ram, who survived being abandoned in the frigid north and later wrote a best-selling minimum wage gig ever. Elena See, the Roon Goon, if you need a magic symbol engraved on something and you need it done right, then give Elena a call.

Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Men in, now serving a drink called the Soaking Scarlet, which is just water, vodka, and beef jerky served out of a tiny coffin. Andrew M. Gladrozel's personal bard is running out of words that rhyme with light. Victor T. Boundlor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. However, he gets transported back on weekends in holidays, so it's honestly not that big a deal.

Justin I, a deadly warrior known as the Car Barian, just in fights by running over their enemies with their Corolla, they've never lost a battle. Yes, a reliable vehicle. Jacob C went blind after staring at Shadowfell's blood star. It's super dim though, so it actually took Jacob like 12 hours to fully lose their sight. That's dedication, people. Laina M. the only clerk at the newly opened Jivelin Memorial DMV. Unfortunately, Laina just went on break. It won't be back for 15 to 20,000 hours. I love it.

Mick Pucks, the amazing code master who programmed our website, uses Alannis's arcane technology to code and the drug arcane to power through those late nights. Erlin Kathleen L. Two Frost Dwarves who own the only hot tub in Frostland. Frosty and steamy. Jive G. A super chill minion of ill-set. Keeps it cool, in hell. Jostritch, the Jack Ostritch, was once a super buff Goliath but was polymorphed into an

Ostritch, hence Jockstrich. An origin story. Damn you r. Ram Daniels evil twin has a mustache instead of a goatee. Also eyes of pitch black and a heart devoid of emotion. Jennifer V has a V even more vicious than Cobbs and dead eyes. How can you have more definition than a skeleton? I don't know, but Jennifer figured it out. Destincy, the only Crick-Earth wizard, And dead eyes, how can you have more definition than a skeleton? I don't know, but Jennifer figured it out.

Destiny see the only Crick-Earth wizard pretends that their spells are just fireworks, but secretly resigion arcane tombs at night. Devin B, the bodega lord, each round Devin can use a lair action to summon Bolognicalums. Sergio Salazar Salman Sakurai is the Sikwani, Seventh of his name a sexy Peruvian snake-voke, whose with sweet snake patterns on his skin, Sergio is so sexy that they eclipse dead eyes numbers on charisma roles. Michael L, the best and only basketball player in Bahumia. Oh, sure, but sweet.

Sam H. Allonis is dealer, and that's saying something because she practically invented magic drugs. Traylee, the cray-fay who says nay, that's right, Traylee was recently polymorphed into a horse, steer clear of hard one. Aarongy, master of the banishment spell, as a child used it to banish the vegetables off their plate when their mom wasn't looking. Jory, as a jacked Wizard. Some people say that Jory got so jacked by choosing with magic, but Jory is totally nadi.

Alucard, a reverse Dracula cannot be killed in their resting place. Alucard just chills in their coffin all day and nobody can do anything about it. Baby Doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C section. Also took out Bev's wisdom teeth. Adam H. A Bahumian music critic who now has the unenviable task of reviewing all of the Christian rock bands coming out of Galatoron. Colin G has a regular ass dog as a familiar, just a straight up golden retriever. Okay. Ryan, Hardwan's Ram was telepathically informed of hard ones'

curse and let out a sympathy shit on the mortal plane. Big Buck, pregnant elk moonshine's elk and baby, has already matured to an adult elk and is repopulating the Feywild's busted elk population. Aww, they grow up so quick. Richard F, a chosen soldier who told Theola that they didn't like milk and was unceremoniously executed. Richard X. Mockena introduced the Crick to mud skiing, mud boarding for the sophisticated Crick.

The sophisticated Crick. Joy McCee won an eating contest at the Blue Man Inn against Stunkbug, downing four top of the place in a single outing. Cannibalistic Othulhu owns the Ruby Tuesdays in Hillhone that Bev had his tenth birthday at. Sam L along haired to Baxi kills their foes with brutal dander allergies. Dom R a Pepsi Genossi.

If you order Pepsi at a restaurant and they say is Coco K, Dom shows up and kicks the waiter's ass. Noise. Josh S the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Can be reprogrammed to be a perfectly adequate sex robot. Blitzbrig, Dmitry, owner of Dorgers Big Borgher, just opened a drive-through for Dunebuggies and Skythrough for airships.

Ooh, Caleb Storm, Cup Baron, Courts, Great Hall, or rather Courts Hall, which ever since Caleb's been barren cups has become great. Nicholas C has started every single movie ever made in Bohumi, a currently filming the horror film that drags me to Shadowfell. Mad Elle, a dragonborn chef who makes incredible barbecue, but always burns the cornbread. Mike H. A wizard who can cast Blizzard, a ninth-level spell where the sky fills with the delicious fillings of a DQ Butterfinger Blizzard.

Yom! Kevin S, a cleric whose light burns so bright, it's hard for anyone they date to sleep at night. Matthew E, one of the other dwarves in JV's clan in Bohemia, survived the run-in with Mama on the other possums by bending the knee and offering in the name of service a particularly good at Chini's Gritch. Samuel B. A Crick-O-F who rents out their rustic stump to high elves looking for a shabby, chic, barnyard wedding. Till for G, author of the hit children's book and movie, Ulfgard goes punch talks a big game about how they're working on Ulfgard goes punch two, but also just released a 700 page companion text,

which is just Ulfgard's complicated family tree. Dach Afra, the drunk monk, an enlightened drunken master water genocid who is a literal tell drinker water. Curtis asked a Grimhawk shell who recently invented candy, which is just rocks that have been dipped in honey. Coulton B, a Crick-El, who is currently up or decking

the fancy port of body toilet at the high elves, Shabby Sheik Wedding. Yen's Christian T is also working with Blavin, but on a super secret project that they can't talk about, okay fine, twist their arm, it's a mixed tape. Gage M. A Revenant who also ran into Rose on the afterlife, but instead told her, uh, wait, right here for a minute, and then booked it for their lantern. Melanie F. A. K. A. T. Ivana Syrigangan, an Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath, but forgot what for, tried jogging their memory by drinking more, it worked, but then they kept drinking

and forgot again. Aaron C. a Kanku with a beak so sharp everyone comes to them to get their oysters shocked. And in Bohumia, it's Oyster Season. Hannah F. a path of the zealot barbarian whose zealous presence battle cry is just do it, currently in a lawsuit with Nike. Montana Monarch, a gunsling in butterfly. If you look closely at the patterns on their wings, you can see it's the runes for die and bitch.

L&D, the fiercest woman in Bohemia, so fierce she drank skulls under the table in a seltzer water chugging contest. Ooh, burpee. Carbureau Chapel Hill FPV, the ritziest cat at the creek. Carbureau's got the biggest stump and bespoke overalls. And by cap, we meet literal cat. Chad A. Bohumi is only Pokemon trainer, keeps chasing Papa thinking he's cue bone without

a skull helmet on. Reese NS, a Feywild Sea Hag, who is actually employed by a giant sea turtle. So other way around from Alonist. TJM, the only child of the mountain, you think being a bastard is hard track growing up without any other kids to play with. RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin, Duttle used them as a paperweight, but in their defense, Duttle also invented super buff flying paper, so it was a pretty tough job.

Taylor S, aka Trass, the Traveler, Trass has so many patches on their backpacking backpack. You can't even see what branded is, but it's Patagonia. Anime intellect has a brain so powerful that it induces seizures. Don't look right at it. Zolo, dolo, their sword is actually a giant split that they smoke with their enemies and

everyone just kind of chills out. Joshua C. Jivelin's only friend in his band of outlaws, sadly Joshua C was shot in the face by Olcott. Larissa J. Hipster, Centaur, wears super tight jeans on all of their horse legs. Genevieve, F. Her Majesty Claudette, so royal that even Theala has caught herself bowing in Claude Deat's presence before she remembered, fuck I'm a god now I gotta stop doing that. Dylan CM, the wannabe DM, not a daddy Murphy, not a donkel call to all, but an aspiring third cousin Dylan.

Killvin' Noodles, the pasta elemental, has been hit in the gym super hard and their noodle muscles are feeling all dung day. Be money, Boundores hip-hop alter ego has never had a parental advisory on their albums and never freaking will. Andru A. A Dwarfant from Frostwin who stood up for a hard one when he was a pudgy tween and the Dwarfins called him Lardwond. Jay, a giant worm who recently ate Yeno, but Jay is so huge that they were still packaged after devouring you know behold.

Heartless Master, not to be confused with Gemma Bronzebeard, whom Hardwan took to calling Heartless Master after their breakup. CC Lulu, wizard with a super long fingernail they use instead of a wand. It's actually kind of nasty. Paul be a ripped rat folk who takes a ton of offense if anyone points out a mouse-like feature. Nothing's critter-like about these pecs, bro! They'll often yell. Barnes and Ador, the only person in Trinnyvale who drinks more than Blav and their way better at hiding it, though. Shane M.A.H.U.T.T.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L.E.L. and Devil defeats their foes by spinning in a cyclone nearby them. Trigger happy, the gun, Totten Crick, who Cobb trained instead of Dead Eye, has their

own handy andy, but mostly uses it for masturbation. Eric G, you know Jostritch? The Jack Ostritch, Eric is also an ostrich, but more of an Ard C1. Jackalope, oddity. The only person in Bohemia with a machine gun, but they exclusively use it at parties and only kill their enemies with their bare hands. Zach C has 100 luck points it would have remembered to use one to save their girlfriend's life sorry Gemma.

Aiden R has consumed an entire craft of crick water and not died, perhaps because they didn't smell it. Jeremy R the Bob Ross of Bohia and Elf with the fro who paints serene portraits of Gladehome. L.E.K., a gymnast competing in the world, Olympics for Bahumia, legit Earth's Olympics. That's how good they are. And finally, Luke H. Luke, who can't puke,

Luke's constitution is so hardy that they've never vomited or even passed uncomfortable gas. Luke's gut health is unparalleled. Woo! Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode. Head on over to patreon.com slash an ad bot. Check out the short rest.

Thank you to our council of elders and thank you to all of our listeners. We'll catch you guys next week. Goodbye, my sweet hearts. That was a Hate Gum podcast. That was a HATEGUM podcast.