Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 67: The Kraken's Hunger (The Shadowfell Saga)

Episode Date: July 4, 2019

The Band of Boobs face the Kraken and her Skullywug minions! Hardwon does his best to stay dry, Moonshine gets biblical, and Beverly utilizes his teen grease. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects include:"Escape From Smuggler's Bounty" by Emily Axford. "Crash Landing" by Emily Axford. "The Mountain Meets the Sky" by Emily Axford."Bastard's Fate" by Emily Axford."Bastard's Cove" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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for our live shows, our little Nannerfly Effect tour in September. Tickets are selling out fast. We're about to sell out a couple of our shows. So get on that. We're gonna be in Atlanta on September 10th, Philadelphia on September 11th, in Atlanta on September 10th, Philadelphia on September 11th, New York on September 12th, Boston on September 13th, and finally,

Pittsburgh on September 14th. You can get those at nadpod.com slash live, looking forward to seeing you out on the road on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Bahumia. Bahumia. Oh!

Get that Scullywoke flare. I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwits. Hard one, Surefoot. Emily Axford. Moonshan Sabin, Ryder Dynan, Treeshtratin.

Heezy. Hey girl. Get it. And of course, called the Tanner. Beverly Toe Gold the Fifth, Half-Link teenager whose voice isn't the only thing that's cracking.

Very good. Very good. Oh. Thank you. We are gonna get killed by a monster. There were a lot of words there. I wasn't quite sure where you were going with it. I was expecting a rhyme. A long one.

We got a pun. A bit acceptable. One of the other. As I was saying, I was getting just squeezed to death by the monster. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Guys, we haven't played in a while.

Yeah. We banked these, baby. I'm rearing to go Literally like pop-up. Yeah, yeah, I've actually been asleep since we recorded last. Oh my goodness He's probably pop-up is probably rearing at a different a different level right now That's right because um he was upgraded. He now has his own fungal form, and you've fungal form already. I've fungal formed and therefor my son is fungal form. All right, some got formed. Let's get some form.

Sungal form. Great. Great. This is gonna be a good episode. I have a strong goal, dude. Sungal form. My god. Let's get into our little recap.

So last week, you guys began by building a coffin for a hard one to rest in during the night He had a vision the dark Lord Galad calling all of the monsters and undead of Shadowfell to meet him in a place called Ember heaven the next morning Grandmommy Joe stopped by to see if you could help her granddaughter Sandy and Moon Shine obliged Awakening her from her shell form Joe advised you on the world outside of Grimhawk that human settlements were usually on the water to avoid monsters and you surmised that Ember heaven was the Galatoron of Shadowfell. With all that in mind

you hit the road and began heading north but along the way you ran into a parade of monsters not unlike the one's hard one saw in his vision. When you say parade it was less of like a somber march and more of like a lively thing. It was a monster match. It was a. People playing musical instruments. Was there floats? Yeah. It was a graveyard smash. Answer the question was there a Garfield float? There was one Garfield. It was that fucked

up meme Garfield. It's like, I'm sorry, John. I'm sorry. I really hate that. Sorry, John. It was so hungry. He's got worms. They have more apologize than you do.

It's not just John. They have to be sorry, too. It was clear that traveling by land wasn't an option. So you traveled along the shore until you came upon a shanty town out on some docks You found that the town was not inhabited by humans at least not currently, but rather scully wugs the gray mutated versions of Bohumia's favorite frogmen

some of the scullies as they're as they're known around here We're gambling and a big one with four eyes named Wart offered to gamble his boat against your gold, you won after going double or nothing. During your time in the tavern boat you heard a strange knocking from below deck and the scully wugs got very cagey about it. So with things super tense, you left and swam out to your new pirate boat, only defined that something wasn't right. There were chains all over the deck with bits of human beings in them as if held there to be sacrificed.

You saw the scully wugs gather out on the docks with torches and begin chanting and suddenly a crackin' burst from the water. It has to be a coincidence. They would never do this to us. No, we totally did this. We love the crack. And we worship the crack. Do the do the kind scolue wugs that the gambling join now about this? All speaking in tongues. They're doing all the terrible. I give the scol scully wood cap that are proud salute.

I know this is hard to believe, but I think we might have been tricked. It rarely happens by the crack. By the crack. By the crack. So you guys see this giant love crafty and beast burst from the water and rocks the boat. You have to grab onto the post not to fall over. Bevere moon shine as this thing pops up, go ahead and give me a nature check. Okay.

Okay. How's it 11 tickle, yeah? And 11? Okay. You don't know much about this crack in it all. You just see this giant beast come up out of the water. Put on a brave face like I've faced one of these before. Ah, yes. Mochette, what's going on? What is that thing? This is a tentacle gdial.

Listen up, Belnor. Yeah, he's found knowledge. Everybody prepare. I'm going to get you down. I'm going to get you to check with Dyle. Yeah, if people want to hurt him, you know what really hurts him is cardamom. Cardamom.

Oh, I start checking my pockets. I pat that down too. I have some. Get a repocket. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. I saw moonshine and papa have already entered their fungal form. When moonshine saw things going wrong. 15.

Five. Oh, 10. I would like to enter my funky form. Ooh. Everything is the same, but I just kind of do a fun little dance. I showed up in my funky form. Okay, so the Kraken is going to go first. You guys did not roll well enough. I am so sorry. It is going to take two tentacle attacks.

It will take the first one at... We'll say go after the boys. Say, hard one and a bet. So first day, after hard one, you stay away from my boys. That's 20 to hit hard one. You made a big mistake coming after the boys, that hits. Tentacles are for the boys.

Yeah, the scully walks in tandem. Tentacles are for the boys, Tarticles are for the boys. The cracken seems to be listening to them. That is 14 damage to you, hard one. And you have been grappled by the tentacle. It wraps around you. The second tentacle is going to go after you Beverly. Ooh, that is a natural five,

so that's only 17 to hit. Oh, okay. Still hits me though. Oh, we know. No, it doesn't. Yeah, no way. Bev, you are able to roll out of the way. You are like,

I think it like tries to grab me and it's like when you're trying to grab something slippery and it just goes, right up the top. Yeah. Ah, Bev squeezes right out of there. I wish I could be slippery, but I'll right up the top. Yeah. Yeah. Ben squeezes right out of there. I wish I could be slippery, but I'll never be wet again. Hard one. I keep telling you, you got to lube up before battle.

That is hard one, Stern. So hard one, you are grappled. You can still attack this thing. Great. I'm going to grease up a little bit. And I swing my Queen's Hammer at the tentacle. Oh. OK. So you did not have the King's Hammer at the tentacle. Oh, okay, so you did not have the Queen's Hammer,

with you when you were fighting in Grimhawk, but when you go to grab it from your belt, you see that it rejects you, it flies back into the bag. What? What? Sucks so much to be a vampire. No This is the closest the dwarven baddies were ever gonna get to a hot tub

Yeah, this is like you see Balnor scramble through the bag and he goes JV left behind a couple of axes man. Do you want an axe? Do you want a big vampire axe? Yeah, fuck sure And I'll pretend that the Queen's Hammer thing is not even a big deal It's whatever it's whatever just give me any what that over here. You just do it back. You just do it back I just yeah, I tossed it back there. I want the sharp one. He throws you why it's axe Why it's axe is a plus two axe and if you crit it's Got a vampiric ability where you do an extra 3D six of damage and you gain health equal to that. Sick.

So you got a new axe. What is it? Oh, you gain health. That's nice. Yeah. So hard one. That's cool. This giant axe while you're in the fucking tentacle.

That's cool. I want to catch it up as it's coming and then just continue this swing down where it's see if I can attack the tentacle. Just alley to the bell mark. That's a nat 20 baby. For the ball, he's fucking way. I like this axe already. Holy shit.

Okay, great, I got you. I got you some health bags. The 3d6? Who's gonna do the bad ass? The 3d6 only get rolled once. I think you trade it up. Right out the bag. So do you do 2d12s and then 3d6s

and then anu modifier once and that's what you do. Has chunky rolling on it 40 damage holy shit Part one you catch this axe and Slash off the part of the tentacle that was holding you you see this thing a reals back and Gray goo start spraying everywhere and you fall back onto the ship dope awesome Goo starts spraying everywhere and you fall back onto the ship Dope awesome, okay, the accessor for the boys

Accessor for the boys I yell to the scorn on for the boy Great see mommy I thought you were a noble people, but you're nothing like the bully wugs of boohoo Really I read that bully w webs are pretty bad, but who we are. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face.

I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face.

I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get to get a bit of a face. I get I know I have two more attacks. Oh my goodness. I'm a little fucking a little bit. Baby, yeah. 27 super hits. Hard one just fucking down there wreaking havoc.

12 damage. Sweet. Take my daughter. Slash into another tentacle, the one that tried to grab Beverly, that Beverly squeezed out. Oh, sweet. I'll swing it that one again.

Go for it. 25 super hits. 13. 13, super hits. 13. 13 damage, sweet. And I still looks pretty good, but it is very upset. It's just letting out these awful sounds. And the scully wugs are reacting to it

as if they're getting hit. No, no, no, see mommy! I didn't realize you guys called it see mommy. See mommy! Now I feel bad, because I'm on a kind of like a mother thing this week. Yeah, I was just swept up by the word library. You! Quit trying to make us trust you!

They have noble family values. It's gonna use a legendary action and take another tentacle attack at hard one, try to catch it in the other tentacle. That is a 22 to hit. That was not hit. That hits. Hard ones you get. You slash out of it super epically.

Kya! Break it, flip down, like do like a combat roll, go over, swing on the one that just went at Beverly, spitefully, slash out of it, it reels and then it just catches you. Let's see you try that again. No, okay. Hard one, there's eight of them.

Just heads up. 15 damage and you are once again grabbed. Oh, this is the fastest one. Can I use my hellish rebuke on it? Yes, it's just a damage to you. Great. Nice, let's try to save. Nat 20 on the save, so it'll take half damage.

So just roll 1-10, cuz it's usually 2d 10 9 jeez hard one Fear straight now on fire baby. I like it literally That is your turn. Oh cool. I Would like to cast haste on hard one on hard one. Oh! This is just day. Our man was feeling sad about not being invited

to the Shanty town, but he's back, baby. Hey, you have a- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, plus two bonus to AC. It has advantage on dexterity saving throws and it gains an additional action on each of its turns. That action can be used only to take the attack, one weapon attack only, dash, disengage, hide, or use an object action. Shit. When this spell ends, the target can't move or take actions until after its next turn,

as a wave of lethargy sweeps over it, but it lasts for a minute, so great. We're probably good. All right, cool. I cast that from my hand, silvery energy emits, and the spectral form of coach Bortram arises and begins slapping your bottom repeatedly. I don't know who you are, man. I wasn't there for this.

We've had so much support from spectral figures. I would think at this point just go with it I mean it's so it's touching my butt. I definitely put stick it out good works on Prattie Right? I can make it dance. I don't know who you are You have a second attack I don't know that that was my action. I'm so I could do anything as a bonus action Would you allow me to toss something into the crack and smell to subonus action? Sure, okay, I want to toss something into the crack and mouth of the bonus action? Sure. You can try.

I want to toss one of the poisonous berries I plucked from Kran's house. Okay. Into the mouth of the crack and. Yeah, why not? Yeah, give a shot. Cool. Go ahead and make an attack roll.

Okay. To throw a berry in its mouth. No, 20, not 20. Ooh, it's now five though. Plus, I don't know anything to that do I? You add just your strength. Drink. You guys just see all of this wind created by all these tentacles flying everywhere.

You see, Beth throw a single berry that you know for a fact, moonshine is eating like 50 of them. You know that you won damage for thing. Beth throws in, it just flies back behind him, as if somebody trying to throw a berry out of a car window. Goes directly into Balenoire's mouth. Oh, Balenoire! Spin it out, spin it out!

I'm gonna make myself throw up, man. I went a long beat before giving Beverly a high thumbs up. Yeah, I give it immediately, but it's like, it's too quick. I scream, misread the wind. So it is going to take a legendary action. It has hard one and it's clutches right now and it is going to use fling.

No. So it throws a grappled creature in a random direction. Great. So I will say roll a D4, and I'll say if you roll a four, you get thrown out of the boat. Otherwise, you get thrown into the water. OK. That's a two.

You guys see, hard one gets tossed to the side, thrown over and begins to fall into the water. Can I turn into a bat? You'll have to do that as an action and I believe you're gonna hit the water. Does he have like a special, like, it's his face? He doesn't die as soon as he touches water.

He will be able to move faster out of the water but he's gonna take some damage when he hits the water. Okay, but he doesn't get to like try and grab a hold of the poor hole or anything. No, he's I'm flung. He's flung. He got flung for the way from I got my bell flung. So yeah, you you fall pretty quickly. So even on this this legendary action hard one you get flung into the water, and it feels fucking bad. It feels like you're in some light acid. Maybe not like lava or anything like that,

but it feels bad, you don't wanna be in there. Feels like the worst sunburn ever. And you've had marginally improved up, until this point. And that is the big scullywug with four eyes. Does a giant leap out of the water jumps super high, lands on the ship with two other buff scullywugs with him. Does he break his ankle?

Yeah, he does. Oh, shit! That's fine, I can still fight. And he, it's a big leap. You see, he holds his hands up and he goes, by the power of our sea, mommy, what's a bitch called lightning? No, thank you. Are you really trying to do that?

And he's going to call lightning down on the rest of the gang. Everybody give me a dexterity saving throw. Don't forget to add that. And he's gonna call lightning down on the rest of the gang. Everybody give me a dexterity saving throw. Don't forget to add for. Is that including me or am I in the order? You're in the water, dude. But you get an advantage on dexterity saving throws anyway. He's not in there.

Okay. That's a 20 for me. Okay. 13 for me. Okay. Moonshine you fail. Moonshine and Beff. Err, rather, Moonshine and Balnor fail.

Does Papa have to roll for this as well? Papa does have to roll for this, yes. This is the fight now. This is the fight now. This is the fight now. 17. 17, Papa passes. So Papa and Bev take half.

What's up? The Papa tries to scramble out of the way. Still takes a little bit of lightning damage. That is, actually only, Jesus. I rolled a four, a one, and a five. So, not all it's correct up to be. Yeah, Jesus, a four, a one, and a five, that's 10 damage. Yeah, 10 damage, so five damage to the people who passed.

Wow, that spell sucks when you do it at a very low level. Impressive, Mr. Scullywug. I am the chosen one. Oh wow. That's why he got to say watch a bitch call lightning and then do lightning bolt. Oh, shit. That's it.

Yeah, learning won't make that doesn't make any sense. Wow, you made my hair all frizzy. I like it. It's fun. It's cool style. Then the buff bullywugs are going to, I guess, descend on, maybe Boundor. We know where we're needed.

They go at him with a spear. First one misses with its first attack, rolls in that eight, and in at seven misses twice. Boundor's just expertly diving back and forth. My friends in the water, he hates water. He hates the sea. Normally, I like it. It's just, he hates it so much. He's more of an indoor kid, really.

No, I'm an adventurer. No, he's got of an indoor guy. He hates the sun. I love the sun. He's a dork. He hates the sun. I'm not a dweeb. Does 13 damage? Second guy does 13 damage to Balnor on the first attack. Fucking crits on the second attack. 13 damage to Balnor on the first attack, fucking crits on the second attack.

23 damage to him on the second attack. Balnor looks a little worse for wear, but he's a lot harder these days. That is moonshining pop-offs turn. He got Scullywug Kraken priest, and two buff Scullywugs with him, and then you've got the Kraken. All right, then, I'm just going to cast

Guardian of Nature, bonus action, and going to Primal Beast form. Beast Shelfur covers your body, your facial features become feral, and you gain the following benefits. My speed increases, dark vision. I make strength-based attack rolls with advantage, and I deal an extra D6 force damage on a hit.

And I'm gonna go after the priest. Okay. So since I have, since I make my attacks with advantage, and I have elven accuracy, I'm actually gonna roll. You can reroll if you get a low one, yeah. Yeah, and then also I'm gonna hop onto pop on, ride him towards, because pop on has pack tactics and he gets advantage on attacks

if he's within five feet of me. To me. You have learned a lot from that, I Jesus Christ. I hop on pop on and I book it for this pop on group. Pop on is so mad. Wee wee wee wee wee. And the scully one, the scully one goes, oh this is so much more terrifying than the Kraken.

Okay, does a 19 hit. 19 Super Hits. Whoo. Is Beasts Teal Form on top of Funkel Form? Yeah. That's so cool. Well, you know, Funkel's actually shares more in common with animals than it does plants.

Rair, rair, rair, rair. Yeah. I believe you, seeing it now. So I hit him for 21. You'll. And then Papa comes in. Papa got a nat 20 out of 30. Yeah!

Woo! Bam! Bam! Papa jumps up and bites at him. Papa has dire wolf stats now. So, uh. Text before 18. Wow.

My little hero. And then, uh, he's got to succeed a DC 13 strength saving throw or be knocked prone He fails and now I'm gonna go ahead and this board's in great team Jesus Moon shine and Papa just jump on this dude Papa is Malling him while moonshine spit spores on them and the other scully wugs look terrified We're gonna keep fighting this guy keep Keep stabbing a bouncer with spears Site to behold that is I'm sorry hard one. I will come get you if I guess die out there. No, dude I'm glad I got to miss it while I was getting attacked with acid water while moonshan was attacking

I looked up the vampire rules you take 20 damage if you're in running water at the end of your turn So I can even get it. Yeah, so you can swim. Like, it just sucks ass. He's got scramble here. It's just really bad. You hate swimming. Yeah, you're just a guy who really hates swimming.

Balnor is gonna go buck wild on these scullywugs. Do it. That is a 19-hit. He does hits. Tunalust. Oh man. Rolled an 8 on his d8 so he does 13 damage to the first scullywag and then he is going to attack again. That is a 19 to hit, he hits, he rolls another fucking 8. Does he hit on a 19? No 19 to night not not 19. He rolls an eight again. He gets another 13

The scully wugs looking kind of screwed up Balnor is going to use his action surge All right, yeah, yeah, remember that I have things That is going to be a hit. That's a 21 to hit good for Balnor No fucking kidding. I just rolled another eight with Balnor another 13 damage. Yeah, the skull bug is looking fucked up. Is it a skull bug priest out going after? No, he's going because he's got two skull bugs on him.

He does hit on the last attack. These guys are just like wearing rags. Shout out to the two crew on the damage though, but he does add his modifier. So seven. So he's got one of the buff scully wugs down on death's door That is back up to the Kraken so the Kraken is going to take one crack Guys so much, huh? Thank you so much for listening this the end of the podcast One tentacle attack down on the Beverly Shout out to the two crew. Oh, once again, it's such a greasy team.

A greasy fact. The cracking wraps around you, it squeezes you in a bunch of like the white heads on your nose, just pop and your face looks so much clearer. Wow, between the like glycolic acid peel in the water and then Bev getting his like porous done. You have to get the tentacle treatment. And then it's going to take a second tentacle attack on moonshine. And that's going to be a 22 to hit. So that is going to hit. So moonshine, you are grappled as the tentacle wraps around you and you take 16 damage.

Okay. Okay, so hard one, that is your turn. You are in the water, you are 40 feet away from the ship, but you've been hasted so you can move twice as fast. Normally with swimming, you move half as fast. So haste essentially negates it. You're able to go as fast as your speed. Okay, I briefly thought about letting myself sink

to the bottom of the ocean and dying, but then I saw a pop-off. Oh man, just biting into the frog's neck. Any problem, what is this? So I'm 40 feet from the ship. Yes. So that takes me. You also have an extra action, so you can dash

and move 60 feet, so you can get back to this ship with one action and then attack. And unless you end your turn in water, You don't take any damage. Great. What if you but also though? What if you Use that extra action just to do a little two to make you a little faster. Yeah What is what are your thoughts on that? If you just do it then you won't you won't do the You'll be able to just get back to the ship and won't get that extra 20 feet. I can dash this form too I guess I'll just use a full dash then to get back to the ship, but it won't get that extra 20 feet. I think dash is form two. I guess I'll just use a full dash then to get back to the ship.

Sweet, so you use your haste speed and one of your actions to dash and a hard one, you are so fucking quick, you're just like, ah, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, and swim out of the water before you take any the cursed damage, you are back on the ship and you have another action because of haste. Yeah. Ooh, I love these.

Welcome back. Yes. I'll swing at the, I'll swing at the, the tentacle that has been giving me trouble. Sweet. It. It looks sassy.

It gives, it tries to give you the finger. I wanted to high five. A bunch of tentacles come together so that there's one in the middle and I can give you the finger. Chop them all with her together. Oh, it's a tough, it's cute. You shouldn't have grouped together if that's's one in the middle that can get you the finger. Chop them all with her together. Oh, it's a trap.

Fuck you. You shouldn't have grouped together if that's a 25 to hit. Ah, that's super hit. Divided, mommy, divide. As he's getting his neck bit by Bama. No. 14 damage. And the tentacle that flipped me off.

Sweet. And I think I'll use my action surge. Wow. So that's another, just one other. Just another fucking three attacks. I know three attacks. What? Doesn't it let you take another round of attacking?

What does that say? I think he says only like one more. No, but he's doing action surge. Yeah, action surge is just another round of it. It's another action, right? Should I just roll 3D20s at once to see? Yeah. I'll praise Pelor.

Yeah. All right, so I'm just gonna see if I hit L-9 movies with my action surge. It's a map one, so I'm just gonna see if I hit Elan Neveys with my action surge. It's a net one, but I hit with two. There you go. So that's about 24 and a 29 or 28. Okay, sweet. You hit twice, so I'll just say you do one mega attack.

Yeah, great. I'm just jumping out of the water, swinging my axe. So good. Getting flipped off. 28 damage nice The things starting to look a little fucked up and the scully wugs are looking worried I thought I should go for the scully walk priest. I was worried that the crack was too powerful But maybe we just

Crack the cracking crack the cracking just over the crack and crack the cracking crack the cracking that is that that that deserves to die too. Yeah. The end of hard one's turn it is going to fling moonshine in a random direction. Betcha I can breathe underwater. You think I'm scared? You thought don't worry season else.

You definitely can't breathe underwater mommy. I got well you know what I got a mommy too and she's water elemental. What? She gifted her water daughter, this is the gift of breathing underwater. You're looking at the water daughter. You're looking at the water daughter.

The Kraken tosses you super hard at Beverly. Beverly, go ahead and give me a text, turn yourself in for her. I'm not, you've convinced me. I was gonna tell the water daughter thing after she threw you in the water. Yeah, I guess so, probably would've been nice for she all to be like, I'm drowning, I'm drowning. I'm surprised, I'm being a jack of breath.

I just so you know, I'm the water son. Yeah, as you're all of us are water children. I'm the sea son. I'm like looking at the priest. I'm like, yeah, she can breathe under, what? The moon's, I just flies at you. Wait, but do I hit him with my gigantic rack? Because that's gonna be a soft land.

Two pillows, fly away. Two pillows. Yeah, that one is just a pillow. You have bones behind your rack, maniac. That's a 14 decks, 14 bags of Beverly Meets. You pass. Oh, at the very last second, you see Moonshine's rack flying at you and you duck. Oh, and Moonshine, I enter, wait, I enter boob at time.

Yeah, that's bad. Yeah, you lean back like the Matrix says Moonshine flies over you. Moonshine and pop off. I guess pop off is probably still on the deck, just Moonshine got grabbed. You take 15 damage and you crash into the deck, Moonshine. Look, and gladly. That's Bev's turn.

Okay. All these hit points were way down. I'm glad you held me out. I'm covered. I wanna prep to fight the Kraken, but while I do, can I clock the priest? And does it seem like he's got concentration going to control this Kraken or anything? He does it seem like he's like got concentration going to like control this crack, I don't know anything?

He does not look like he's controlling the crack. I am. And it looks like they summoned the crack in, and she came to feed. Ah, cool. So, but he's a bad guy. No, he's hurt. I mean, yeah, it's good to get rid of the little guy too.

We should kill War Two, no worries. I don't remember when we played stones, what a fun memory. I can't believe it. I thought you were a gamer. I honestly, yeah. I honestly was such a forgettable memory. I'm not even gonna remember it when my phone is like,

you have a new memory from this day, I'm gonna feel it. What was that? Us gamers need to stick together. We're a really small community. You're poison in the well, no I'm gonna freak on the beak. I'm gonna try and hit the crack and right in its mouth. We're not a beak. Okay Not her beak

Beautiful big you see she has a tiny beak over I mean it is a beautiful be Yeah, what do you do to exfoliate that? That's 25 to hit super hits. Cool. All right. I have a new thing. I think I've used it before, but I get to add an extra d8 of radiant damage now to every attack.

And Bev, the Kraken is evil. At a d6, because you're sword. Hell yeah. These are all little dead eyes these days. Oh man. Fucking bad influence. So that's 19 damage. And I'm gonna go ahead and divine smite on top of that. Ooh, go. So that's going to be, let's go ahead and do, mmmmm.

I'll do a second level. Sweet. 12 extra damage. Nice. For my first attack. And then I'll take another attack if that's all right with everyone. It's not all right with me. I mean, bow means, please, Berkeley. The floor is yours. Beaverly's slow gold is slow. I need to throw you in the water.

I'm not. I'm a greasy teen. I'm a rigly pickle. You're, I've been trying to grab you. I've been trying to grab you, you little guy. I'm also gonna cast a bow of Imniti. Okay. Which gives me, it's a bonus action

and I get advantage on attack rolls against a foe within 10 feet. Nice. All right, so that's going to be 21. Is that it? Super hits. All right, let me roll again to see if I can. I think it's going to be great.

Shout out to the two crew. I'll stick with the original. I like it when a two is followed by a zero. Yeah. For that. Really two is, I like a two is followed by zero. Yeah. For that. Really, two is I like a two is with zero is attached to it. Yeah. I remember that scene from the sopranos.

That's 21 damage. Jesus. Yeah, you guys are fucking this thing right up. Woo. That's my turn. OK. All right, at the end of your turn, it is going to take a legendary action and try to tentacle Balnor, because fuck that guy. No, that's in that 19, so that's super

hits. Oh dear. Get me, I'm your white head whale. She knows when to give up. Grab's Ballnor does 14 damage to him. Not that much, but Ballnor is grappled. How sturdy is our papa looking these days? Your papa is at less than half health. He's not doing great at the moment. Then that is the priest's turn, the priest's test, moonshine and pop-up, breathing down his neck.

Is he prone? I forget. He is prone. He's gonna knock it down. So we're not bringing down his neck. We're like, it's staring down at him. Yeah. He is going to pop back up. Use half his movement to pop up.

And he is going to use thunderous touch on Papa. Oh, fucking monster. I hate animals. I'll never get used to this. I know we signed up for it. I know, this is why I kept him out of battle for so long. What's Papa's AC? He got a 13 million.

14! Papa Dodges! Oh, I can't. Now, that is my scramble man! This priest is getting owned. He may seem muskily like a meathead, but he has nimble like a ballerina. These two other buff bully scullywugs

are gonna run back and go after moonshine. One of them is extremely hurt from Boundore. Bam! Ooh, 18 to hit and a 17 to hit. That's gonna be a miss and a miss actually. Okay, so one of them misses twice. The other one fucking all of them miss. I'm shining, Pop-R, just like me.

Trixing. I'm just going insane. Can we say that since I'm dodging everything so definitely that when I got flung, I landed in a position. Like a... Like a model Like a losing position, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Greek statue. That is moonshine stern.

Well, I wanna get back near Pa Pa to give him advantage. So I think, is he gonna get an attack of opportunity if he scramble stores me or like, where are we? Pa Pa is fighting the the you see are we all together no you got thrown into Beverly so you saw a scullywug priest go after pop on the two scullywugs go after you so yes if you run towards pop-up the two scullywugs will get opportunity attacks and if pop-up runs towards me he'll get an opportunity

attack yeah all right then I think that will just stay separate okay I say pop-up runs towards me he'll get an opportunity to take yeah all right then I think that will just stay separate okay I say pop-up show no mercy And I'm gonna go after the one that's on death store okay 25 gonna hit super gonna hit wait no I had such a nice community here 24 Jesus Here. 24? Jesus. You chop this one in half and then do 22 damage to the one next to it. Nice, then I'm gonna spore some for 18. Oh my God, there's other one in this.

It's so hurt. Wait, no, hold on, you haven't even heard the Scullywugs song. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You can stop ants, you can stop bugs, but me kind is Cullywugs. Okay, pop-up I'll get over here and attack. Yeah. You wanted to go after the, pop-up after the priest.

I got it. So pop-up doesn't have advantage. We're full up on sing-songy folks. Don't wanna get hit though, right? Super gonna hit. It's gonna be an 11 good for pop all right he's got to do strength saving throw otherwise pop all is gonna trample him um pop all does not knock him down you see this dude and pop our wrestling is

both yeah pop all show what you learned to correct I'm so proud. Me, me, me, me. Well, that is Balnor's turn. Balnor, feel free to eat that flesh. Balnor is being held by one of the tentacles of the Kraken. He just goes, I'll take you to hell with me, son of a bitch. And he's gonna take a swing on it. He hits.

Ooh, he's got a magic weapon now, so it actually does damage. He does 10 damage on the first hit. Yeah. And then he's gonna attack again. Shout out to the three Cree, he misses on the second attack. That is back around to the Kraken. You see on the Kraken's turn,

still hanging onto the Boundor. The Kraken submerges into the water. Huh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Hard one, you jump into the water. Go ahead and make your attacks. Okay. Hard one, you jump into the water, it feels like acid all around you, it's burning. You see, Balnor is fighting to get this tentacle off him and this thing is starting to swim away. I say underwater and it's probably unintelligible.

I told you I liked swimming. And it's able to swim 50 feet down. So you need to use your haste essentially to catch up to it. So you're able to get 30 feet down using your movement because of haste. You need to use a dash action. And now you have three attacks.

I have three attacks. But you're 50 feet under the water, yeah. OK. Wait, does he need to breathe anymore? He doesn't need to breathe. He's just gonna take damage. Yeah, okay, that's a good point. Yeah.

I'm gonna fucking and vamp. Okay. This is a monster mash. Okay, I'm gonna take my first attack. This is, that's a shout out to the fun ones, but I'll use a luck point. That's a good call. Nice.

And that's still not 15. 15 does not hit. Okay, second attack though. Come on baby. Shout out, I'll use another luck point. Should I turn to the pool? This is crazy. I really should've done it.

Oh no! Another two. I really shouldn't have jumped in the fucking water. You only take 20 damage at the end of your turn. Hey hard run, maybe save a luck point for if you are doing death saves? Yeah, that's a good idea. You haven't taken any damage yet.

Yes, that's true. Oh, that's a good idea. You haven't taken any damage yet. Yes, that's true. Oh, it took a little bit. But I'm not looking to or that's a 21 to hit. I'm a super hit. There we go. Yeah, finally. 13 damage. 13 damage.

This thing looks extremely fucked up, but it is still alive. I could wait, do I get a bite attack? No, that's not that. No, you get three attacks, so you get to choose. So this thing cannot use a movement as a legendary action, so we can't get any farther away, but it can use ink cloud.

It is going to shoot. You see a cloud of black ink emerge in the water. Hard one, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Belenor has to give one two. It's a nat 20 on my constitution. Hell yeah. I could have used that to. Oh, you're a duster.

You also take 20 damage from ending your turn in water. Right. Okay, so take 20 damage. Hard one, you take seven damage from the ink cloud, and it becomes heavily obscured. It is very hard for you to see down here. Bound or take some damage, you can't even see him right now. You don't know what's going on with him.

That is Bev's turn. I just want to hold an action, because I think that Moonchan's got something that she can do here. I want to run over to Papa and protect him protect him and then I nod to moonshine sweet all right You at this young bit bev is going to hold his action that is the Priest's turn the priest is going to take a swing at pop-off Think they're going after the things that matter to you

at Paw Paw. They're going after the things that matter to you. That is only a fucking tend to hit Paw Paw. That's a big mis from the priest. The priest didn't do shit. Paw Paw drops and we'll paw some turn. There's mushrooms in it, Jesus. Oh wait, there's only one scully wug left and he's on death's door. He is going to attack from me if he doesn't gauge. Yeah, he's gonna attack you. So he takes one attack, Jesus, that's only a 13 to hit. It hits. Just kidding. I'm gonna blow a 14 to hit.

It kicks through my armor. That is moonshine stern. Okay, I'm gonna spore this guy for 18, does it kill him? He's dead, nice. Nice. And then I'm gonna step on his corpse to walk over and run over to the guy. Oh, that was my son.

I don't know, reproduce better than next time. I'm gonna run to the side, and I'm going to cast control water, so I'm no longer guarding of nature because this requires concentration to part the water. So good. Because water in the area, which is, it's a range of 300 feet, to move apart and create a trench. So I want to do it right there.

So I put my hands in the water, and then I forcefully part it from itself to reveal hard one and Balnor. Amazing. Are they full of that? Are they full of that? And you guys are pretty close to the shore because you're near, uh, you're near the village, so it's not like the, you know, the ocean floor is like hundreds of feet deep here.

So yeah, you see, uh, uh, Moonshine fucking parts the sea. And then I, and then I look back to my Moses and I say, Moses, you wanna walk this trench? Moonshine, go ahead and roll me two D100s, and that'll be how deep it is out here. 180. You guys see Moonshine parts the sea, and the Kraken, Balnor and Ard,

one begin falling 180 feet to the surface of the ocean. Ben, you have an action prepared. You can either attack one of the scully wugs or you can try to do something to these guys. I mean, they're out of my feather fall range. Yeah. I can't miss this step down there.

I'm just gonna, oh, you know what? I'm gonna use Pelor's chains and Restrain the remaining bully wugs. Okay, so they can literally just the priest who's like kind of on death store How close is he to death store? He is not looking well All right, I want to maybe couldn't kill him in one hit but could kill him in two all right I want to like Blunt my sword and just like get him down to, I wanna knock him unconscious.

Oh, okay, so you wanna do non-lethal damage? Yeah, got it. Okay, go ahead and do a text. That's a natural 20. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I love that like a little humble giggle to yourself. I thought I was gonna be something bad. Oh, that's a natural 20.

Oh, there is. Do I just, I love fucking parting gonna be something bad. Oh, that's a natural 20. Oh, there is. Not 20. I love fucking parting the sea. That's so good. Do I just like auto knock him out or do I need to roll the damage? Roll the damage. Because he's had enough HP

that if you rolled really bad, it might still be up, but you probably knocked him out. Okay, so this is gonna be 2D8s, 26 damage on that hit. He knocked him the fuck out. Okay, cool. Hit him with the butt of He knock him the fuck out. Okay cool. Hit him with the butt of your sword.

He goes out. Great. And then the other scoyote wants her dead. And then I get my arm around his neck. Rear naked choke him. Great. So that's Balnor's turn. Balnor is just fucking falling.

Balnor, I guess, is going to make a, okay, he's gonna make a strength check to try to get out of the tentacles, to try to like get over to hard one or something Because he knows hard one has the ring a featherful So hard one so bounder has a plus five to strength these days is a DC 20 firm to get out so I'm gonna roll it in front of Jake here That is a natural one, but he re-rolls. Yes, he's really lucky. Shout out to the core four. Oh, he gets a nine. Oh, he's struggles. Wait, but doesn't he have four play? What feet where it means that if you get a four you get to reroll it. Yeah

So you see Bound or struggling but he Cannot get out. That is the crack and stirring the crack and is freaking the fuck out. It is going to take a tentacle attack on hard one. Bring it on, come on.

18 hit? Does not. Misses. Takes a second tentacle attack that is a 24 to hit does 21 damage and you are now grappled so it wraps a tentacle around you and it is just fucking falling you see the water is beginning to as is the language of control water see the water is beginning to fill in below. Hard one that is your turn.

You see this thing is on death store. You are falling with it. You are grappled. Balnor is grappled. You guys are falling a couple hundred feet. So, do I have time to take an attack and try to wrap my arms around Balnor? Yeah, because you got hasty, you got so many actions.

Yeah, okay. So I'm gonna take an attack at it with an axe. Straight. 25 to hit, super hits. Okay. Is it like in Final Fantasy, aren't you fighting someone at some point that you're like falling?

It's also like a Gandalf fighting the... Yeah, the Balrog. Yeah. 10 damage. Nice, on death's door All right take my second attack 29 super hits 15 damage 15 damage hard one finish hard one finish. Yeah! Yeah!

Thank you. Leave the school falling. Thank the Lord. I am going to put my axe back behind my back and bite it's head until it dies. Are you doing it without the water? Yeah, after you slash. Sushi, this is sushi. After you slash into it, you see the beast gets weak,

and its tentacles get kind of floppy, and you're able to get near her like head, and you just bite into the body of this beast, and you feel the life suck from it. And Balnor is flung as her tentacles go limp, and you and Balnor are just riding this Fucking thing down to the ground and you have one more action because it's paced I kick off of her head and go up and I leap and grab Balnor in my arms

I've got the ring of featherfall on my pants nice So hard one you grab Balnor you guys begin falling at I will say a little bit faster than featherfall pace because you're holding a person. It's pretty light. He's pretty light, but you see the water begins filling in below you guys and hard one you're going to be like 70 or 80 feet underwater pretty soon. That is Bev's turn.

Okay. So they're like you've all the scully wugs are gone, you know that the crackin is gone, because presumably Balnor and Hardware have yelled up to you. Balnor just goes, I love you, bud. He jumped in the water, even though you fucking hate water. Just bring my dead body back to mood,

showin' no one I do with it. You're not, I guess I ain't. I ain't, I ain't, I ain't son of a bitch. I love you, bud. You beautiful son of a bitch. This was a good time. We have a good run. He kisses you on both cheeks. I love a lot of time. I'm gonna die instead of a bitch. I love you, buddy. You beautiful, son of a bitch. This was a good time. We have a good run. You're the one.

He kisses you on both cheeks. I love you too, man. Moonshot, we gotta do something. They're saying final goodbyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we can do this. Ah, bad that you're right. So I see the water starting to fill back in.

And I try and time it so that I can do like a very shallow cannonball. So I'm going to jump off, let myself fall for as long as I can do like a very shallow cannonball. So I'm gonna jump off, let myself fall for as long as I can. Okay. And then misty step to where they are. So I will say you just about get down to them with like feather fall.

I'll say that these guys are like 120 feet down. I'm like prepping to healing touch. Okay, cool. So you're prepping to lay hands as like hard one passes you. Okay. So you hold your hands out, you hold your action. That is moonshine stern. Moonshine, you see that the water has just filled in

because it is back to your turn. You see Beverly disappears under the water. You see your other friends are gone deep below the sea. I've controlled the water. Now it's time to control the wind. And I put my hands once again in the water. And I cast a fifth level control winds to create an updraft.

So I create a 100 foot cube that has an updraft. You cause a sustained updraft within the cube, rising up from the cube's bottom. Creatures that end of fall within the cube take only half damage from the fall when a creature and the cube makes a vertical jump they have an extra 10 feet higher than normal. Sweet um so I essentially so I want to essentially like visually what I want it to be is like beneath them water is flowing in and then like a beneath them water is flowing in and then like a burst of wind like starts pushing the water away. Yeah, you guys can see like the ocean floor and you see there's an explosion in the sand beneath it almost like you're on top of a geyser and you guys are shooting up.

That is Bounder's turn. Bounder's just waiting on hard one swimming up with hard one. Crack and stern turn, Crackin is dead, hard one that is your turn, so you can move 60 feet with two dash actions. Great. So, you get halfway there, you pass Bev, Bev Leihans is you, how much do you want to Leihans on him for? Does my Leihans work on him now? It does.

Oh my God, you know what you're doing? He's like essentially in a marathon and you're giving him one of those and you're like meeting him on a path. Make sure it's not water. Make sure it's not a couple of water. I, it passed me a seahorse or something. It burned him originally when he was a spawn of Scarlet.

But like, Polar knows that hard one's on the level. I minor illusion a bottle of Gatorade mudrush Oh fuck yeah, and I just like drizzle it in the air So that you can get it and then I do kind of give him a quick tap sweet Let's say 20 is that enough that should be enough, okay? Okay, um gives you a quick pick me up Um and then I already want to do baby. Okay, okay, um, gives you a quick pick me up, um, and then- No, are you wanting to do this?

Uh, yeah, I'm super hurt, but I'm not gonna dive in underwater. No, I'm not rubbing the water I can't speak. Uh, Balnor Swallow is a bunch of water. So a hard one with two dash actions, you're able to get 60 feet up. Um, you are now 60 feet from the surface. Uh, I will say with the extra air, you're supposed to get an extra 10 feet. Uh, I'll say 20 the extra air, you're supposed to get an extra 10 feet. I'll say 20 feet because of haste.

So you are now 40 feet from the surface, you take 20 damage that is negated by the health that Bev just gave you. So don't. So just take away that 20 and then you're back. That is Bev's turn. Bev, you are now in the water. Operation Dry Lad commits.

So Bev, that's your turn. But Bev, you can also float towards the updraft and that'll help you get back out. Yeah, Operation Dry Lad, Commits. So that's your turn. But that's your turn. You can also float towards the updraft, and that'll help you get back up. Yeah, can I just like angle towards the updraft? Yeah, sure. So you can go 25 feet with your movement, because you use half with your Yuppies Kippie boots.

Yeah, you know what, you can use a dash action. Right, so my speed's doubled with the boot. All right, it's 25, right, so it's like 50 feet. Okay, plus you get 50 feet plus 10 plus 10, so 60. Okay, so you are 60 feet from the top. That is much I started. I guess I'm just gonna thorn whip down to try and let someone get someone up.

Okay, so like a reaction for thorn whip? I think that, I mean mean like is anyone within? They're 40 feet away. Oh okay then yeah I guess I just Thornewitt but I just throw my Thornewitt into that and we can grab it up and get onto the boat easier. Okay sweet, um Balnor turns to you underwater. Hard one goes are you qualified go for it. I give Valnor a thumbs up. He swallows a bunch of water. He is going to swim up half his speed, which is only 25, so he literally barely makes it to the thorn whip.

grabs onto it. Munchine, you pull Valnor out. Valnor super fucked up. He's only got like 10 HP. He just crashes onto the deck. It just, uh, uh, uh, ugh, ugh, oh god damn it. And that is back up to hard one. I'm still in the water, right?

Yep, you're still in the water, you're 40 feet away, but you still have haste. Okay, so I'll just keep on swimming. Ain't no thing for me. Sweet, I love the water. Hard one, you get up and out, and you climb back up on the boat. After a little while, Bev gets back up on the boat and everybody survived and everybody's fine

You don't even spend the end of a turn in the water so you don't take any more damage You only spend one to turn I'm gonna give 20 to Belmore sweet. Thanks, but you got it and you guys see back on Back in the village back on the docks the scullywugs are freaking out. Oh, she's down with the fuck going on at the dough! And you see a bunch of scullywugs start diving into the water, just like leaving. Just, you see a big one has a bunch of stuff, just a bunch of junk in its arms, and pushes a small one into the water, then dives down just does this big jump

into the water to swim away. Just people big. I'm fucking chasing them. You're just killing scullywugs when you die. Yeah, hell yeah. And I'm like, I wish I could, oh, you know what I gotta do? I'm gonna do another fourth level control water

and fucking whirlpool. Oh hell yeah. So those fucking scullywags just get whirlpool down to the bottom. I had a dead sea mime. A bunch of the scully wugs jump into the water. Suddenly there's this whirlpool, and you see a bunch of the scully wugs fall into the water and get sucked into the whirlpool. You can stop on ants, you can stop on bugs. But be kind to scully wugs.

Yeah, the scullywugs. Yeah, the Scullywugs are freaking out in the village, and you see the Scullywug priest starts to stir. Be kind to Scullywugs. Oh shit, why? I want to put my fucking form up against his gun killer, so it's hard for him to speak. Oh, yes.

Oh, this again. My mistress. How can I help? Oh the first stop. How can you help me? I don't know you already fucking scam me could go back in time and I will I will worship you. I need a new see mommy. I already got a fucking belly chain that worships me You want to get in the chain. Do you want to put him in the chain? I would be honored to get in the chain. Don't put him in the chain. The chain's mine. It's a freaking one better over. Put him in the chain.

No, please don't try and don't put him in the chain. Do I even know how to put him in the chain? I don't. I think you just touch it to someone and they go in the chain. I'm gonna touch the belly chain. Wait, don't, uh, go ahead and make, I guess, an arcana check. Just gotta put him in the chain. Gosh it. I got it. 18. 18. Uh, you see a red.

Be lonely. Good arcana check I've ever brought. You see a red light appears around him and he disappears into the Into the belly chain oh I'm sorry bender reads honestly It was kind of like pure pressure No I didn't want to let him down Master can I can a little bit Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes Sitting on me. He's sitting on me. It's super lame. It's not lame. It's fucking cool I feel like it might get a lot like a cool sword out and the sword is Up to his neck. He's just sitting on my head and I can't move Where what's under the bow? Look okay, there's the original crew of

The boat we there were some humans that lived here that You know that we worship the Kraken the Kraken demands sacrifices. We came here They were stupid enough to trade with us. So we put them, you know Under the boats in the you know below deck and then every night we would feed one to our sea mommy. Is that so bad? I mean that sounds pretty unbelievable to me, Garry. That's better good to me. You're a big girl with my ass. Yeah, he's watching you with his ass.

I'm somewhat going to squat him to death, tea bag him to death. We're killed with like a super with non-jokes. Somehow you hear like a super grindy death. We're killed with like a super with nunchucks. You hear like a super grindy death, like this skull you look was definitely suffocated with an ass. You have nunchucks in there, Pentegrines? Yeah, you have a whole wall full of weapons. Wow, it's pretty nice.

It's pretty rad if you guys want to come in the jam. I mean, it sounds awesome. We should keep you in there forever if it's so cool for the squus right love to move out I'm kind of outgrown the place there's a dead frog and you know what I honestly don't know what to do with them are you getting postmates delivered or I have a dead frog and I've got a one-bedroom apartment, and you just kind of know structure for me to get rid of him. I don't have like a-

Next time we come across like a vat of hydrochloric acid, how about I touch the belly chain to those? That would be wonderful. Yeah, I'll keep an eye out. Thank you, but in the meantime, should we go save those belly chains? Yes, oh yeah. Real quick, before, in just in case we run into anything,

I rolled a bunch of cure wounds for you and bouncer Where what you at? 23 okay, I'm gonna give you I'm gonna give you two 16s. Thank you. So that's gonna be a 32 and bouncer. I'm gonna give you a 28 sweet bouncer looks Healthy and hearty This episode of nad pod has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age

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You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Hey man, thanks again for jumping in the water. That was, it was real solid stuff. You would have done it for me, Belnor. If you didn't read it, what if it gives you a predator handshake? Yes.

Oh, yeah. I kind of like nudge moonshine. Yeah, this just like really pumped about it. Oh, I was holding out for a predator handshake because I was confused. Oh, yeah, I give her one as well. All right, yeah. Can we like do one where we all interlink? Yeah, also thanks moonshine for you know separating all the water

Killing the crack and essentially yeah, I'm saving our lives. I'm enjoying tapping into nature and you know turn it into That was insane It felt pretty cool. I've never done that before. Yeah, I've been really playing around with water down here in shadow fell and I feel as though I've really become before I felt Little out of place. I was a water daughter, but now I really am the water daughter. You see just go look strapping Just like right now, you know that world I've made that Oh You want them to join you in the war I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one.

I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one.

I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one.

I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. I made that one. back. So do you do to smith the world pool? Can we just take the boat? Yeah, you can take the boat. You can like bring the anchors up. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So you guys bring the anchors up. You go the long way around the whirlpool. You guys see, there's still these little like pylons that have runes on them that don't allow hard one in. I'll turn into a fat bat. Can I just like, yeah, can I just chill touch those pylons?

You go up, you guys destroy the pylons. Hard one you go through and you no longer take psychic damage. The wall is down. I'm sorry we didn't just do then begin the show. I just felt that it would be a disrespectful way to enter a city I'd never been to. No, I think we have to protect this town from people like me.

No, that's not true. No, I'm like me. No, no! That's fine. That's not true. No, I'm a monster or so. No, you know what? The only problem here is that those pylons are not more discerning. That they just do all vampires, but they should be looking into your soul

and your soul is clean. That'd be nice. Yeah. I did eat a crackin. Yeah. That was that. It was fine. It was good. It was a little chewy I bet. What colors? They're blood. Green gunk. Green gunk. Green gunk. Great. Great. Great. Great. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's not the most

that we've had in. No. Well, there's a lot of a scullywug floaters if you're still hungry. I like this snack. Speaking of which, I know that we had sort of talked in some private time about making you a scullywag scuba diving suit. I wouldn't mind a little wet suit or a scully suit. Yeah, can I try and do an arcana thing to spit up that priest from the Belly chain? I think I still do that. I can try to do this.

I think I still do an elf action. 11. 11, you see half of a frog comes out. I just entrills everywhere. I could do some waiting in these. Yeah, thank you. Better than nothing, truly. Yeah.

I think we can probably just like scoop some up on the side of the boat as we're driving. Yeah, because we're just looking around for Scullywugs. It's an ongoing project. Yeah, you guys killed, I mean, you guys killed a couple Scullywugs. You want to collect skin to make a Scullywugs scoop a suit?

Yeah. Let's cast a net. Yeah, okay. So you guys have some dead Scullywugs on the track, come on the word. I'm going to turn to a hard one, because you know, POPPOP is no longer in fungal mode. Yeah. So POPPOP is back hard one because you know pop up pop up is no longer in fungal mode Yeah, so pop up is back into you know more of a jack of all trades right now

Pop up you got your sewing kit with you. Yeah, yeah, okay And then I'm gonna I'm gonna hold up a couple of scully web carcasses to you and be like anything speaking to you We're gonna need at least three. So let's go. Yeah, that's got a nice shade of gray to it. Okay, yeah. This one's more of a sea foam. I like that. Okay, okay. And then let's go with this charcoal guy.

Okay, okay. Me and Bob. These three turned into a scoob soup for hard one. Me and you see, Pop-O's starts doing the work for it. It seems like it's gonna take a couple of days. He starts drawing up the schematics in his sketchbook. Take your time.

Bam, take your time. Bam, things gotta be bulletproof. Never ceases to amaze. So you guys get close to the docks of the village of Bastard's Cove. And you see the town is abandoned in the frogs. I've ditched their homes You see their little like junk piles that they were gathering in the in the various huts and houseboats

They have Grabbed up and jumped into the water You guys head back over to that you guys want to head over to like the tavern boat Yeah, I think we want to go free those people that were You guys go to the tavern boat you guys go Why I think we want to go free those people that were going to go. Sweet, so you guys go to the tavern boat. You guys go below deck. And you see hidden below deck are a bunch of tied up humans amongst barrels and boxes of supplies.

They all wear tattered rags. Some are shirtless. Some are wearing vests. Just vests. Opal Aladdin style. Oh. You see their bodies are covered with these stick and poke tattoos.

A lot of them have various versions of born and bastard's cove and bastard's of none and all of this, all of the other bodies. And you see the woman that must have kicked the deck for you guys to hear is hanging upside down on a post tied up. You see she's bound and gagged. She's tied up to this post.

You see she wears a bandana and a black vest. She's got a white tape around like her fists like a boxer. Oh, okay, y'all. I'm going to kind of put it my hands and just say, but before we go down there or they see us, I just want to float the idea that like, what if we kind of let this victory be theirs? That's so thoughtful.

Like if we sent Handy Andy in there to sort of, to sort of cut her down. So that she can free everyone. Ooh, that's nice. You know what? Moral boost. Yeah. Shadow fell needs a win. Yeah, that's what I was kind of thinking. Bastards cove needs a win. If people have other thoughts, I'm totally open to it. I am open to how open your heart is. I want to just curl up in there and take an app. I'd tap up handy Andy before it goes in. Okay. Hand in handy. You need a stealth

like you never stealth before. The she the morale of the bastard's coat is on your knuckles. nods nods with a finger. Handy Andy scrambles down there. Moonshan you poke your head around the corner. You see this woman that's hanging upside down. She does not see handy Andy as he approaches. Handy Andy climbs up on the post.

Lucens the ropes. You see she suddenly starts moving and shimming. She's able to get herself loose. She pulls herself loose. You see she looks around and she goes like, come on, we gotta be quick. I don't know how long she'll last. She goes over and she starts on tying the other people.

You see that there are about 15 people down there. She goes she starts untying people and then they start untying each other. Moonshine, hard one. Should we pretend like the schooly wugs beat us up but then they all got eight by the crackin and we're just innocent bystanders. I mean my deception rolls usually fail but I will do my best. Cool. Let's go like tire selves up upstairs. Okay, okay. Punch me in the face, quick.

Okay, punch you in the face. What the hell? I'm gonna Beverly. See guys all, he does all tie each other up. And you see these humans, the bastards of none, run up the stairs and run up into the tavern and they look around and they see you guys tied up. And this one woman goes, what the fuck happened here?

We don't know, they tied us up and then they went outside and then we heard a crackin' making a lot of noise and then eating a lot of scully wugs. I guess it went insane. Go ahead and make a deception check. Thank God you're here. I'm gonna reroll that one. Of course.

Ooh, deception or performance or persuasion, deception. That's going to be a 22. 22. Okay, you see they all look around at each other and they start Laughing hysterically. It's like don't fucking dumb asses. They trusted some fucking octopus. They worship that fucking octopus It killed so many of our friends here. Let us help you out. Oh, thank you so much. Ah, they Well, thank you so much. Ah, they are a tiny, weird, so much. You were, you were helpless.

Well, it's good to see you guys and not some fucking frogs. Hey, how's it going? My name's Tess, the woman with a bandana. She shakes your guys' hands. Ah, moon chants, zabbit. Good to see some other, good to see some other humanoid's. Instead of some fucking weird ass frog men. Yeah.

Our run is high, our, run is hiding below his hat. Yeah. Humans, all of us. That's right. Although this looks like an indoor kid, huh? He starts slapping his shoulder. He's got a hammer. I hate the sun, that's all.

Yeah, we were just passing through. We were going to stop by looking for an inn. And then we got a hood winked by these here frog folk. Yeah, they they took over. You see they walk outside. This whole crew goes out. You see they start running into other boats and you see below deck and other boats. There are more citizens, more people being taken out, and more citizens of the village, more villagers start coming up, and these kind of seafaring folk, these sailor types and their families, a lot of foul mouths.

I got a mouth here. There's this little kid that has tattoos. It's about fucking time There's fucking frogs I want to piss on their graves Yeah, my name's Jojo right now he looks like the Calvin and Hobbs pissing things to me This is into the water Jojo's your your name. Yeah. Joe Joe we're heading up North. You got a hot beat on how we could get there. I'm pissing in the water. Where's your dad or your mom? Oh they're both pissing in the water too. I see them. Got it.

Test. Hey, hey. We're trying to get up north. What's the town that we're going to? Oh, we're in heaven. We're trying to get to it, Ember heaven. Ember heaven. You see, she goes wide eyed and she goes, no, why would you be doing a thing like that? That is fucking monster central.

We got to go on this stuff. You know, much like JoJo's family who all pissed together, we got some family over there, and we're pissed because they have been taken. Yeah. Nice, wasn't you already yet there? Yeah. Almost stumbled.

All right, I'll tell you what, I know of a secluded cave, about half mile outside of Ember Heaven, sometimes smugglers use it or humanoids use it if they need to get up to Emberheaven and do some business, not in full view of the city. So if you wanted me to take you up there in our boat, I could do it for a price. Seeing as I just saved you and everything.

Right. Yeah. Yes, you did. You did save us and we are forever in your Our captain our captain was eaten, but I was the first mate. So I'm pretty much, you know Yeah, you're the captain right? I'm the captain now It matters though is that you feel empowered by this victory I'm saving us and it's gonna help us all a short. I just ran them like them These stupid frogs thought that they could just like control this giant tentacle monster and then the tentacle monster just fucking ate them

Okay, these frogs are fucking stupid as hell Pissing into the water. So you don't feel empowered. It's not gonna fuel your future as a village I mean, I feel stupid as fuck for getting taken over by some frogs who you, later were eaten by a giant monster that they summoned themselves. How much gold do you want? Yeah, how much do you want? Getting up to... Talk me.

Amber heaven. Hmm. I want to say 500. Well, how about 300? Uh, go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Can I help them up? Yeah. There's a nine. Nine. Let's say 500.

500, but I'm the captain. If you pay me 500 gold, you could be the captain. All right. It's got the hat and everything. I do already have the hat. And give me a week and I'll have a wetsuit. Are you sure you want to be the captain again? You're the indoor kid. already had that. And give me a week and I'll have a wetsuit. Are you sure you want to be the captain again? You're the indoor kid. Yeah, I'm going to stay in the cabin of the ship. We're counting.

You're teething the sharp as hell, man. Or they're not. They're just a little long. K-lock. Yeah. Is there any chance we could just borrow a boat? You could buy our boat if you want. Why not just take a fucking credit save.

Save that. Save that. That's what You do see that their town is like super fracked Okay, yeah, you know what 500 here it is All right, we can really we can really use the work around here. We really appreciate it. Yeah, we love working Okay, good good work. All right, so why don't we we'll pay you a little bit then to fix up this boat here as well You get a suit dress around here We are mostly shirtless. Oh, I have noticed that. I do really like that vest. I've been thinking that maybe I was a vest guy

and I'm seeing that vest on you. I think we all go opa laden style on the journey. Yeah, I think we can do that. I think I strip. They hand you guys some vests. Yeah, that's true. We had a few left over because some people did get eaten. Haha.

Haha. I guess I'm wearing like a JoJo sized vest. Yeah, okay, great. Well, what do y'all think? Should we hang out here for the night? Or should we just drink? Let's hang out here for the night and just spend a fuck ton of money. And put it back in there. Yeah, they're coming.

Yeah, all right. Where's a fancy restaurant to eat? Drink out our onus. I know the infrastructure is going gonna be slow to restart. Everybody can drink on me tonight because I'm pretty sure the scullywugs just left a bunch of bathtubs of ale and I'm looking to get into that because I've been living in the basement You need to be really that'd be really nice. Oh, that would be good. Yeah, I have one question though What do you use plates for? Not soup, right?

No, I'm like meat, and such. Great question. It's a quick question. Yeah, we'll put a soup in like a bowl maybe. Oh yeah, we're right here on the ocean. Y'all got any good fish we could cook? You know what? We're at the Scullywugs.

We're supposed to give us a bunch of fish. That's originally we were bartering with them. They're better at catching fish than we are because the ocean ain't too alive out here. There's not much sea life out there, but Scully was can dive way deeper than us. So for a few weeks, they were bringing us some good halls, but it turned out it was all to just kind of lead us out there to be killed.

So first day, the crackken ate a bunch of us, and then since then, they've been sacrificing us once a night. Wait a minute, wait a minute. That's shitty. Did the Kraken, when it died, float to the top? No, it's heavy as fuck. Oh, OK. I was hoping we could just roast up the Kraken.

Can we just do a little fish, though? Like, I want to do a little fish in my thorn whip to see if I can catch anything. Yeah, you can try. You go over to the docks. Go ahead and give me a nature check. 23. Even with a 23, you just pull up a, like, Simpson style, like, three-eyed, scrawny fish. Oh, thems, demon.

Oh, that looks good. So that's... You got a good one. Oh. You got a big one. Huh. Yeah. Oh, that looks good. So that's a good one. You caught a big one. Huh, yeah. That's how we cooked that up. Yeah, that'll be enough to feed a couple of us.

So that's where we are. Yeah. All right, soup's on. Yeah, let's do this, huh? Let's stew this indeed. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. You guys start making stew from a bunch of mutated fish.

Part one. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. We're around a lot of humans right now. Oh. Oh, Jesus. That's a NAC one. I think my dice is broken. Do you wanna use a lock pointer or anything? Yes, I don't want to kill one of these little people.

I'll use my final luck point. I have to use this roll, by the way. At the plus four from Beth. Oh yeah, even with the plus four, that's a 13. Okay, 13, you're able to control your urges. But you see all of these people and you're kind of like, no, these are a bunch of fucking punks They live a shitty life anyway if I were to take one of these guys

Behind a shack and just take a quick bite. It would probably be fine No one would have some you catch yourself kind of thinking that Cool no miss any these fuckers What would you I'm sorry? Would you say her one? Oh? I said We I'm sorry, would you say her one? Oh, I said We I'm sorry. I had reports for us on So when you said what was right when you said what was that you like heard the whole thing? Yeah Well, so's in the reports for things Jo Jo from

Cool of course So I replied all to an email that I didn't really attend see hungry bud. I Yeah, no, I was I was pretending I was like reliving the battle in my head And I was like talking about the bully what this really was yeah, no one missed those fuckers Right no one missed those fuckers. Oh true. Cut. I agree fuckers All? No one will miss those fuckers. No one will miss those fuckers. Too true, gotta agree. Fuckers. Alright, let's turn these things off, huh? Ah.

Can I just like summon a... Dullfinn or something from the suck-on? Oh, that would be a dolphin. You're really? It's summon a dolphin. You're really, yeah. It appears out of the one in one. Eat, eat, eat.

A virtual ice. When you summon it at first, I'm like, great idea, Bev Dolphins are so smart. It's so nice to have one around the cheeky cheeks. We see a lot of them looking and turning over to the side of that. Oh, fucking Dolphins, I love fucking Dolphins. We all love Dolphins and definitely

that's a very kind thing for you to do, but I'm gonna go, I'm gonna walk down the docks and return it to its home. Okay, thank you. I'm gonna return the Dolph it to its home. Okay, thank you. I'm gonna return the dog to its home. Are you playing with the dog and with the dog? All right, by the dog and it's going back to the ocean where it belongs, where it'll be happy.

All right, I eat the dog back in the dog. I like how being a vampire has become almost like, because at first you were gonna get addicted to arcane, but now you actually feel like a drug deal. Like a drug addict. Yeah, I now you actually feel like a drug deal. Like a drug addict. Oh yeah. It's like feeding and private. It's a propulsion.

It's a propulsion. I turned a moonshot and I'm like, I don't know how many more friends I can keep summoning like this. I know, it's bad. It's not great. That dolphin was very cute. That dolphin was extremely cute.

It was just, I'm gonna... That's right, swim away noble bees. The thing is, moonshine when I summon those steeds, I have a psychic link to them and I know that dolphin could count. It had the ability to count. Oh, I'm... You're the very well sweet fish.

I like look at all the youngins and I'm like who wants to learn a rope trick? I do you fucking dick All right, okay, they're like to kind of like the youngins at the Greg I I get a bunch of rope and elephant time you up sweet. Wow. I don't think I can get out time up kick him Kick was fucking hard just again. No, no Gekin y'all We fucking kick no, we don't here. We don't kick okay youngins How how would you guys like to be the gang green teens?

Yeah, we could be a fucking gang Yeah, a bunch of scurvy lads. Yeah rolling the high season good doing good deeds good deeds Fuck you man punches you in the neck. Oh, you gotta try. I'm starting to feel real conflicted about the fact that I let these people think they It's freed themselves. They're almost too empowered. Why does it feel like whenever you try to do something good, it doesn't, it's not right. Oh, the world sucks, Moonshine. Yeah, I'm sorry to feel that way sometimes. At least this place sucks.

Yeah, maybe Chaddle fells just fucking doomed. This place sucks. I mean, I guess if you're eating three-eyed fucking mutated fish, like, you're rotten from the inside out, man. I think everyone here is just hungry for a win whenever they can get it. And you guys do see, in the background, the tavern is hopping and everybody's drinking and having fun and laughing. And you see Tess walks out of the tavern boat and goes, it's your lucky fucking day.

We take care of our people and bastards, co it's your lucky fucking day we take care of our people and bastards cove don't fucking matter where you're from here have a drink on me have a drink on me hands you guys some ale maybe it's not all bad okay alright you know cool all right so we're we're sorry for not asking when I first met you we're where would you would you all come from? It's a long story. It's a long story. Bahumia, material playing, then this via Grimhawk. Holy shit, you got out of Grimhawk?

Yeah, we uh... Pretty much. We uh... ended the vampire menace there. Fuck yeah, man. Yeah. Cheers as you guys. We uh ended the vampire menace there. Fuck yeah man. Yeah. Uh cheers as you guys. Alright.

Are these fucking monsters coming out here making it hard for us humans? I know. We're stuck. We're stuck out here. Mask you a delicate question. Yeah. I don't know if it's appropriate and I don't know if I'm stepping on toes by asking this. But are you first generation?

Shadow fell or were you born here? Bastard's Cove. It's full of humans who were sacrificed as babies to dark lords of Shadowfell. So our parents are the ones who fucked us over and left us in this shitty goddamn place.

I see she downs her beer. So none of us know our parents by design. I hand her my beer. Hey, thanks. I love double fisting it. Oh, lady after my own heart. Ha, ha, ha. Yes, this is one of the warmest places we've been. Yeah, I

gotta be honest, y'all are running circles around Grimhawk when it comes to the hospital. Hey, you guys came here on the right day. I mean, before this, Scullywook said taking over and they were sacrificing people every single night. I got another question. I'm just going to say it's a lucky coincidence that we showed up right when they got eaten by the crack. It is. It's a real one. I would have thought that maybe you guys had something to do with it, but you guys were tied up. That's true. Well, you know, we took a nap at an in-operative time. Yeah, I guess so. Now I got another question. Yeah. Uh, all the shadow felt, you think it's just doomed or do you think that you you innocent bastards here on Bastards Cove do you think you could make this a nice little place for yourself? Is there any opportunity or is it just doomed by design?

You see she takes a big sip of her beer. She walks out on the dock and She points out across the dock and she points out across the ocean and she goes, you know, people say that there are monsters if you sail too far east, but ever since I was a little girl living here, I always wondered if I just kept going. Maybe I get somewhere good. Why couldn't you just make this place good? That is not meant to sound as an accusation, that's it. Only meant as out of total curiosity. I'm trying to understand this place. You see she nods and she goes you know we do the the best we can, and we do have good times, but, you know, we're hunted.

Okay, so it's the danger here. Yeah, I mean, we're stuck here. If I walk out onto a main road or something, I'm labyrinth to get grabbed by a werewolf or a vampire or something. What's stopped you from sailing? I've heard that there's things like that fucking cracking. At least you got the hope. And that's it.

You know, a lot of times, that's all you need to keep moving forward. It's not much for a wind in your sail, but, you know, it'll get you somewhere. She nods. But in addition to hope, what if you just took some of these crazy runes you put on your on your on your village here and put them on boat. The hope metaphor is pretty as it is. Yeah.

Yeah. Or by the practicality and the genius of the invention here. She thinks about that and she goes, you know, we, uh, we've had various people passing by, believe it or not, I'm not quite the wizard type. I wasn't the one to do that. And nobody who's currently here did that. It was done a while ago. And I think if it were on a boat,

it could probably pretty easily be destroyed. But it's not a bad fucking idea. If somebody could put some wards on a boat, that'd be a good first step towards you know, maybe maybe getting somewhere better. Yeah, well, I mean, maybe we'll find someone powerful You know up a Embers heaven You know if I was a dark Lord I would I would do much better job just saying

I feel like you have like a full term. Yeah just saying Did you kind of have your chance? Is that fucking is that Panda Costa but fray or oh? Yeah, he did my bitch job. He was an awful dark Lord It was my whole fucking life. He's what I'm talking about Pender Greens. You got to get out there and you're gonna meet your constituents Yeah, I thought I did a kid class job. I went up there. You have to learn satellite, or a list of your friends. Whoa, listen.

Oh my gosh. It's his fucking fault. It's his, she starts wanting to get your belly chain. It's his fucking fault we live here. All of this is now a journey to teach Pender Greens how to govern. Yeah. That is how things turn out.

This is a grassroots campaign. Sure, hold up. So you're all, hold up. So you're all touted up. You live in a freaking houseboat with your friends, and you're not psyched on this. Yeah, I guess, honestly, Pender Green is just kind of cut to the chase of what I was gently trying to ask before. It seems like a bad ass life.

There have been a lot of things like the scully wugs coming here, taking over, tying us all up, putting us below deck in every night ritualist to be sacrificing us. We're catching you on a good day. Yeah. This is a good day. Yeah. In the reports, Boris, whatever, this is like, winning my sales, that was stupid.

What was a thing? That was stupid warning. No, I thought that was beautiful. I think you need the hope to then fuel the practicality. You're right. You need a poetry to fuel the practicality You got to put the poetry emotion to marriage both You're right poetry practicality speaking practicality pender greens. What will you do? To read that's it's cove of the scourge of the scully wux. Okay, so first off if I made dark lord again

So first off, if I made Dark Lord again, kill every scully one. It feels like we've been the ones who are good. Oh, there are ones that are good. I don't know who cares, right? Okay, this is hard. You have a lot of learning things. You luckily we are on an adventure, and I think you are gonna keep learning. I'm all for second chances, but rehabilitating just wicked and toxic men

doesn't seem like a great starting point for Shadowfill. You see, now that's really a good point. I'm gonna be able to fucking wicked. You know what, yeah. I think while this is happening, I am gonna sneak off because I'm worried about those, I'm worried about the runes that we destroyed and the fact that now this town is like open to, and I'm not gonna try to make both of them,

because like we destroyed two, right? You destroyed one, yeah. If you destroyed one, you like break the kind of seal of seal. Okay, then actually I'm gonna wait. I'm right. So I'm gonna wait till right before we leave and hard ones on the boat and then I'm gonna try and recreate. Cool, smart. Yeah. So are we resting? Are we gonna do like a long rest here? Yeah. Cool. We get like one big hammock. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah, they go. Yeah, we got a hammock. There were I think the frogs were sleeping in it because there's frog shit all over the place. They shitting their hammock. They shitting their hammock. Just a quick shake. You spin it

around once real quick. I got to agree with hard one on this one. Yeah. I mean there's so much you know imagine all the shit that even just fell through because hammock is kind of, you know, it's loose netting, yeah. It probably mostly fell through. It's actually pretty practical. Yeah, I mean, I got a little hut here. I got like a little houseboat if you guys want to sleep on like a cot, but if you guys all want to sleep in one hammock outside, the floor should all be hammock.

Just smells like all the frog stains. It's spinning in a round and flinging scully walks shit everywhere. Somehow you can tell that two scully walks had sex in here. God, we got scully walk Peter trails everywhere. Lay down the towel. That's how you make family. You guys all go to bed in the same. Wow, can we say that in the night?

Since I try to do a regular sleep, I'm like thrashing and I get us and I get us Swisting up in the hammock so that when we wake up we're in like a hammock womb. Yeah, okay Yeah, you guys wake up in the hammock wound You guys wake up in the hammock womb and Boundwork so claustrophobic. Ah get me, give me out, just pushing out all your faces. This whole is everywhere, you can breathe. Yeah, we have to put the coffee in the hammock too. It's all right, just leave it in my coffin.

Yes, you do need to leave the coffin. Fine, I only have to trance, right? Yeah, so I spent four hours just chilling in the hammock with every grain. Thank you, and then hop out to trance in my coffin. Hop out and get into the coffin. You guys wake up the next day. Although morning here, still night, because the

blood moon doesn't rise until late morning and then sets in early afternoon. So you guys wake up just kind of naturally after like eight hours of sleep. You wake up and you see a bunch of the bastards of nun crew are getting the boat ready. You see they brought it closer to the docks here. Great.

And you see, can I do like it, I feel like we need to do this all the time. Let me just do a general inside check on everyone to make sure we're not getting fucked over right now. Sure, go ahead. Right. Actually, can I inspect the boat, just pull on the rigging the main the main stays the top sale?

Make a Performance check oh performance check I got a 21 on my inside a 21 They seem like If you were gambling against them or something make sure They're not cheating. They don't seem like super honest folks, but they're rough and tumble folks, they're not bad. But I'm saying this boat isn't a trap. No.

OK. I would like to go to the end of a long pier with the sea breeze facing me and do some solemn squats. OK. I have a cutlass and I watch bed from afar. And as I'm doing my squats, I pray to Belor to watch over my dad. Okay. Go ahead and make a religion check. Cool. That's a 20. 20. Okay. Cool. You get, you feel a sense of ease as, the sea almost feels dead,

like there aren't a lot of waves out there. And there's not much of a breeze, but you do feel a sea breeze on you as you pray to pull over. Do I feel like one big wave that the Kahuna himself is surfing? You see in the deep, deep distance, you could have sworn you saw a tan Santa Claus surfing. You see in the deep, deep distance, you could have sworn you saw a tan Santa Claus surfing.

Um, uh, Papa would also like to go to the end of another pier and create a molora for guidance in creating the perfect wet suit. Fopper rolled a mad seven. See, Papa falls off the deck into the water. Me, me, me. I like to go to the end. Bapa falls off the deck into the water Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me any dolphin remains. Hahaha. Hahaha. So what was your performance check for checking the boat? Oh, 16. 16.

Okay, you do a pretty good job. Uh, and you see, uh, tests kind of punches you on the shoulder and goes, you actually know what you're doing for an indoor kid, huh? Yeah, yeah, I got a nair ship back, uh, back in the material plane. Material plane, do they not have a sun there? Uh, you, uh, everyone laughs hysterically. Huh. We love rads and people around here.

I love hardest of all. I love being razz. Nothing gets me happier than camaraderie. Hey, I'm gonna start calling this guy Casper. Please don't. That'd be too much. Let's razz another person. Hey, take Captain Casper.

Why don't you tell us how to sail? We got to Casper, baby. What about that st how to sail? There you go, Captain Casper, there you go. What about that stout man over there? Well, should we, shall we, raise him? Oh, no, no, you're fat shaming someone. No, I'm on. And this is just scabbing, so you know, everyone gets super quiet and test just goes,

that was very inappropriate. Yes. Beverly walks back from a solemn squat. Minor illusions of banana peel and slip so that everyone pays attention to her Oh, man, where'd you get that banana? You got another one. I've been even mutated fish I've been dolphin barfed it up. I love dolphins. Yeah, they're great I gotta help Beverly up in a whisper, I need this. And let him slip in the binadopio.

Oh, you got it. Oh, you got to hang on to Captain Gasper there. Can't hang on to him. He's translucent. And goes right down. There shouldn't have been a rest on me. And John, I have a must-get. There's greasy kid.

Can't hold on. I'm so greasy. He's greasy. Is Okay, hold on. It's so greasy. It's greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy.

It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy.

It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so greasy. It's so room. It's like on the thing and not no longer in the city. Cool, tell me how you do it and I'll tell you what kind of check to do.

Okay, I'm gonna go over and I'm gonna use druid craft to try and summon a filling of protection into this. Sweet. So maybe I don't know if I'm gonna be fucking it up because like it's not like really anti-monster as much as protection. Got it. I think it's not like really anti-monster as much as protection Got it. I think it may be like I'll think of water because water protects them. So I'll just sort of think of my water mother

and Channel the protection that water brings into a ruin. Okay, cool Go ahead and give me their nature or survival check with advantage 24 24 Gs. Yeah, Moonshine, you see that when you guys wrecked it to get hard one in there, that basically, you didn't like destroy the runes, you destroyed the little like pylon structure,

you destroyed like the rocks, and part, the top part with like the runes on it kind of slid off. And now it's just this broken jagged rock. You're essentially able to commune with the rock and you see it reforms. And the stone that had kind of slid off and was hanging off to the side reforms. And begins protecting the village again.

Whew, that was hanging over my head. All right, now that I go for a joy ride and I run and I jump into the water and I swim up to the boat like a happy otter. Moon shines, swims up to the boat, the otter water dotter. Right, otter water dotter. Happy otter, Balnor gets on the boat.

Bev slips on a banana peel up to the boat. Oh, I fall down the ramp. Oh, oh, oh. I John Oh, I fall down the ramp. Oh, oh, oh. I John Wick too, down the stairs. Ah, careful, you might end up in the afterlife like Captain Casper in there. And you hear people knocking on the captain's court. You guys hear muffled screams into a pillow for my room.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Thank you. Hello from my room. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And that's where we'll end ourself. I've got a fucking worked up now. Yeah. God damn. Yeah, yeah. It's your game days on. Yeah, yeah. The live we're coming for. I got a lot to say about Emily's God Moses move.

And I'm like, oh yeah. But there is a Rose Bush coming your way on the short rest. Get ready. I like these high level Druid spells. You really feel like, you really feel like, you're like, I'll talk about it. I'll talk about it.

Yeah, do it. Say it for the short run. Guys, go on over to patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, POD, don't sing yet. I wish to listen to our short rest. Guys, we'll be back next week with another episode. But before then, we have some things to plug. Let's watch us fucking plug our fucking live shows.

That's true. We talked about it last week. On September 10th, we will be at the variety playhouse in Atlanta, Georgia. September 11th. I love Atlanta too. September 11th at the Punchline Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Family Willie. No.

How's that fucking? Knock it off. comedy club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Filly, willy. Oh, it's so fucked. Knock it off. September 12th at Town Hall in New York City. What do you got? Pretty city. Pretty city. September 13th will be at the Wilbur Theater in Boston. Yeah.

Boston, Boston. Boston, it's gonna be a better city. I could give in Boston. Yeah. Boston. Cosson. Bustin, it's gonna be a fancy city. I could give you Boston, Massachusetts. Does that do anything for you? Brassie, two shoes. I'm gonna stick with Boston. Boston?

Smart. And September 14th, we make our final stop at our grandest city at the Rex Theater, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. More like Gritzberg. Gritzberg! Gritzberg, baby. We're Pennsylvania. More like Gritzberg. Gritzberg! Gritzberg, baby. We're coming for you, Gritzberg. Guys are all at nadpod.com slash live.

It is the a nanorfly effect tour. Every show is going to be different. We're going to be going through different scenes within the show and seeing what happens if you guys had rolled a one or a nat 20 at different key moments. Okay, here's what I should have said for Boston. Getting Soston Boston. That's very good.

It's very good. That's very good. Okay, so sorry to have that. Buy some tickets for Soston. Check out me in Emily's book. K you up, how to turn your booty contour emergency contact, bill on Amazon and on Audible. Also check out our sketch show, Hot Date, it's billboard on Netflix,

called well you got anything to plug? I would like to plug our beautiful fans for sending us so much fun gifts to the PO box. We have from Brendan, a dice roller, a CD of music from their band, Congrats, and a very nice note. The dice roller is emblazoned with characters and events from the show that have been like

a good burn into it. It's very cool. Jordan DJ sent us an Advent Children DVD. Find don't fantasy seven Advent Children. You're never gonna get that for a big spack. I guess I say thank you. It sounds like I'm gonna hate it. Oh, get ready.

Rebecca L gave us some art of hard one in Jemma, I guess I say thank you. It sounds like I'm gonna hate it. Oh, get ready. Rebecca L gave us some art of hard one in Jima, a very touching scene and a very nice note. Oh, Rebecca L, could you maybe redraw that to be JV? And JV? What the fuck? What was getting razzied in the post-show? Jeff A sent us some fun song parodies that they wrote.

Oh yeah. Which is like very fun, very inventive. Carly and Tristan sent us some fun song parodies that they wrote. Oh yeah. Which is like very fun, very inventive. Carly and Tristan sent us another save the date. We're gonna be doing a tour just at weddings. Yeah, we really should. The wedding tour. You're doing.

We really should do that. We should do that. If you're down to just not have a wedding band, you have us blind. You guys need to coordinate with each other so we can do a wedding tour. We need some like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday weddings. So we can fit them all in.

Also don't invite children because I've got a filthy mouth. Yeah. If we got paid to do a bachelor party, we're a bachelor at. Absolutely. Katie with a K and Katie with a C, both sent us handmade letters featuring art of pop-all and Kaka as well as a moonshine doll. It was so beautiful. Thank you so much to my Katie's.

Thank you Katie's. With a K and a C you bless us. Yeah. Regardless of the letter we are truly honored. If you would like to send us merch you can do it at 1920, Hilter's Avenue. Number 222, Los Feliz, California, 90027. Thank you so much. Thank you guys and thank Thank you, guys. And thank you to everyone who's ever sent us anything. If we ever miss you in a shout out, we're so sorry. We banked record these, and we've

been getting a lot of stuff in the box lately. Know that we appreciate it. We appreciate the hell out of all of you. The studio is overflowing with the- My studio overflowing. The studio, Doth overflowing with the- My studio overflowing. The studio joth overflowing. Thank you so much for listening. Jake, you have anything else?

Well, let's just let the fan stand, you know? Like, that's the last. Yeah. I want to plug everything I do. Yeah. Let's just let that sit. Yeah, we love the fan. What's Jake and the other college humor?

If I were you show, had gum. Ha, ha, ha. Great. Thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME, Ed Colt. He's called while Addy Xards Emily, AdJKerwitz's Jake, and tweet about the show using hashtag madpod. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are, youth of the nation.

Captain Casper. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Oh, thank you so much. Starting with, Brad D, the only Pebble Pot that is in Craven, once humor to Denny and checked to see if there was a monster under his bed, and it turned out there was a bug bear so it's a good thing Denny is a coward. Huh, J-Loma 72 aka Steelbreaker, Hardwan's Jim Spiration, a fellow vampire who gets jacked by feasting on Jimbrus.

Dylan B is Sword-Wielding Wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, the most popular cook at the Hill Home, Benihana. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard ones, senior portrait at the dwarf image, also painted a sick poster of pop a roach for Pender guests one bedroom apartment. Spencer Casquru, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and here's a Bohumi out of like, created Pender guests' favorite drink, monster energy and Tito's vodka. Beard man, Dan, the longest beard and all of Bohemia, beardman Dan's beard stretches from swamp, bullywug territory, all the way to Scullywug Central.

Scott Deis, a Scullywug poet who penned the Scullywug theme song. Hermes W, the backking, helped the Scully summon the crack Kraken in hopes of killing their arch-enemy hard-won. But alas, Hermes will need to get their revenge another day. Sparta is a mutated fish who did its dang best trying to help a bound or get out of the Kraken's tentacles. Thanks, Sparta. Adam are the R-rated assassin. Adam's potential victims often escape because Adam is known to kick in the door and scream, who's ready to get fucking killed before doing a hit. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly she held on to hard one's foot to make him a

little slower under the water while fighting the Kraken. Hew see a.k.a. Haldor frostback, MVP of the giant wars crewed on the SS stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red, fell off the stormborne after a particularly raucous party and spent the next 13 years wandering the frigid north. Daniel U, aka Multifor the many-face magician, quietly sings, all around me are familiar faces to themselves all the time as a kind of private joke. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, used to DJ for kid cobald before he was tragically

eaten by hard one, RIP kid cobald. Jeffrey S. Lurd, the fjord, born of the sword and protector of the gourd. That's right, Jeff S. is a scarecrow and you birding, getting near his pumpkins. Cutter W. A high elf, dandy turned, Crick Barcatech, currently being sued by papa after a bunch of their stumps sank into the deep, Crick mud. John S. A.K.A. Super The Mushroom, fun fact, Alonus actually came up with the idea for wish stones after consuming Schubert. Ryan M. Hardwan's Ram, who is canonically dead.

R.I.P. Ryan Hardwan killed you in cold blood as a snack. Alaina C. One of the scullywugs who was swallowed by the whirlpool, biting their time at the bottom of the ocean, hoping one day to exact revenge on moonshine sibes. Michael McD, Ed McSelves, at the boom in, and currently under investigation by Lieutenant Candace Bricker after she found out they served Beverly. Andrew M, a frog with the teeth of a swamp bullywug,

the strength of a scullywug and the hospitality of a Crickbullug, the strength of a scully wug, and the hospitality of a crick-bull. Oh, no way. Victor D. Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world just like he was ripped off the boat and transported to the bottom of the ocean. You know, Boundor gets ripped a lot. Just an eye, a glyath monk tasked with cleaning up after Jonathan Tinkall after he

barfs during games of Nome Toss. Jacob C. A cat burglar A.K. A. Tbuxi kidnapper. Sleep with one eye open cat people. Jacob is coming for ya. Elena M. Once kissed a scullywug in hopes that it would turn into a prince, but it just summoned a crack in and pulled them into the sea. Mick Pucks, the amazing co-master who programmed programmed our website also programmed the Scullywugs website. Those guys love GIFs.

Erlin Kathleen L, Jivelyn's mom and dad who kept him in a rage. They were simultaneously squished by Mima and Mama who polymorphed into a bear and a bear cub then sat on them. Jive G, the biggest ballbuster of all the bastards of none. Hard one is in for it on this trip. Josh Stritch, the Jack Ostritch, a big buff bird who flies around Shadowfell picking on humans. Come on, Josh Stritch, they have enough to deal with. Daniel R. Ram Daniels, evil twin, whispered the idea to summon Ryan.

Too Beverly via evil Philippathy. Jennifer V has a V even more vicious than Cobbs. It's also Vainier. That's how you know it's all muscle. Destincia, Halfling Centaur, hates what a party gimmick it's become, but yes, yes, they can ride a unicycle. Two really, one with the front legs and one with the hind. Devon B, the Bodega Lord, their land is covered coast to coast and what the locals call dust and cat hair. Sergio, cells are salamon, saccharias, desuquone, seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk, and sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio, slurps ceviche on Saturdays and Sunday. Michael L, the best break dancer in Bohumia uses their skill to break bread and bones, depending

on the situation. Sam H, Alonus's dealer, bikes bikes all over Bohemia delivering only the best herb. They don't have any arcane though dude, they keep it match. Traylee, the cray-fay who loves stay, the soulful 2013 Rihanna hit. Erin G. Master of the banishment spell. If you go on a date with Jai Bg and it doesn't work out, they don't ghost you. They straight up banish you. Jorias, a jacked wizard. You'd think it wouldn't come into play, but they actually had better aim on their

wizard staff when they're casting 9th level fireballs. Alucard refers Dracula. When their friends get swallowed by a crack, an unlike hard one, they actually jump away. Baby Doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section after all that still raised themselves on cloth, diapers, and had themselves potty trained by six months. Adam H. also lives in moonshine's belly chain, but only short term because pender greens is leasing a futon in it on Airbnb. That's air bed and belly chain. Ryan Hardwan's Ram, a Grimhawk taxidermist found his lifeless carcass and is thinking about turning it into some dope decor for the local Elk's lodge. Big butt pregnant Elk moonshines Elk and baby had a twin but ate it in the womb.

Jesus, Richard F, a human druid who casts control water to part water on themselves and since they were 70% water, split in half very gruesomely. Richard X Machina introduced the Crick 2 BANGS! Or as the Crick like to call it, forehead dressing. Try and make see an Asimar who didn't fall from heaven, they kind of just tripped. They're just real clumsy. Cannibalistic Ketulu actually prefers their victims die screaming because they read somewhere it makes their nutrients more bioavailable. Sam L a stand--up comedian bard who literally has no jokes, they just show up and cast Tasha's hideous laughter over and over again till their show is over.

Dumb R. A soda genocie. Their dad was a pop genocie and their grandfather was a sasperilla genocie. Josh S. The Revive Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, been trying to make calling Cyborg Cobalt's Cobalt's cobalt's a thing, but isn't taking off even in Esri. Let's speak to me tree owner of Dwarggers Big Borgger just introduced Dwarggers' Janormous Borgger which is a patty, the diameter of a plate and the height of a cake. Nicholas C has started every single movie ever made in Bohumi and recently had a Christian

Bale style meltdown on the set of The cake! Nicholas C has started every single movie ever made in Bohumi, and recently had a Christian Bale-style meltdown on the set of the dark chosen night. Mike H and Orchidontist, instead of braces, Mike just kind of beats your teeth into place. Kevin S, a peg-lagged... a Pegasus, also a peg-winged. A lot of pegs with this one. Ha, madly-eep, pop-laws first ever client. Pop-all-got-math-you-eat-the, the stump in their divorce, but lost them their young-ins. Samuel Bea, Goliath, whose massive body is covered with tattoos, the crazy thing, they don't know what any of the tattoos mean, but we on the planet Earth would recognize them as all the astrological signs over and over again.

Till for G, author of the hit Children's Book and Movie, Ovegar Goes Punch sold the rights to the book to Amazon, and they're doing a gritty reboot with Tom Hardy. Curtis Assagrim Hawke-Shell, who recently invented the wheel, which is actually a square rock. Colton B, straight up has the Golden Gun from N64s, Golden Eye.

It's not even fair. Yens Christian T does a nipple dance, 10 times more intricate than Jens Lindell's, where they hide their nipples with a toothpick Gage M a quick Graffiti artist who stags stumps Gage makes incredible murals on ancient redwoods that pretty much just say mo but in Psychedelic bubble letters there and see a fireball

Rogue who will steal your heart so cuddly and cute. Also, they stole your gold. Fuck. Montana Monarch, the only monarch who is also super hot as a caterpillar and honestly, they could have gotten it as a cocoon. L&D, the fiercest woman of Bohumi, I absolutely savage, Pendergast in a debate last week in the Lord of Shadowfell race. race. Carbrow, Chapel Hill, FPV, a bard who plays sexy funk music that JV and Gemma totally smashed to. Morton's forge is an absolute fuck dead. Chad A. Polore's surf instructor taught the buff Santa had a hang-ten, but more importantly, taught him how to hang loose. Reese and S. The mother of the deceased teenage Kraken. Legit, a little relieved because

their son was a huge ass. Still gonna kill the boobs though. TJM the gnome barbarian whose brethren were savagely murdered by the band of boobs and Kragwater they now stalk Bahumia looking for revenge. RPKB R2D2's less helpful cousin can help you buy it and pile it in X-wing but can microwave popcorn once you can eat while you watch Star Wars. Taylor S. aka Trash the Traveler sleeps in five star resorts for the price of a hostel, also sleeps in super expensive hostels sometimes.

Anime intellect, a baby crackin whose teenage brother just got their bell wrong. Now they're next in line to wear the crackin' crown and they're pumped. Everyone's happy that teenage crackin' is dead. Zolo Dolo, interestingly enough, their best friends with the crack and crown and they're pumped. Everyone's happy the teenage crack and is dead. Zolo Dolo, interestingly enough, their best friends with the Drake we know and love from regular old Earth. Josh was see a professional bobsledder in Frostwind in battle. They also fight with a bobsled.

Larissa J, a free fairy who just assassinated the troll king. Unfortunately, there seems to be nine other troll kings to kill now. Dylan C, M, the wannabe D.M. Dylan got their bell rung so hard last session, it's still echoing in their ears, but Dylan started crying at the table and everyone felt guilty so jokes on them. B-Money Balnor's hip-hop alter ego, touring the summer with Kid Cobal doing their hot single, Tuna rules everything around me. Andrew A. of Empire, Scooby-Diver, who explores the murky depths of the ocean in a state of the art Bullywag wetsuit.

It's possible, Erilyus! Jay holds the record for eating the most butter finger babies in Trinneville. It's too. Ha ha ha ha ha! Heartless master may have no heart, but they do have an anus in their foot. They can't wear sandals. It's not worth it. CC Lulu, Blavvind's favorite bartender, mostly because they make all their drinks straight

neat and in a pint glass. Paul B, a knight whose armor is made of enamel, a suit of teeth. Young Beverly would have horshipped them. Barnes and Ador, keychains keychain and folds into either a smaller robot or a shot glass to drink flask keychain from. Shane M. Akanku Monk who destroys their opponents with their beak and then feeds them to their adorable little babies. Yasmine, the Yasmine and Devil Acarot try to commit Yasmine to his cause, but they

sucked him into a tornado and spit him out. Trigger-happy arranger whose long bow is made with their bones of their enemies and the bow strings are made of the hair of their enemies and their arrows are more bones of their enemies. Eric G. A rat folk runaway model whose fierce and unconventional look is making waves in Ezri, Eric is single handedly selling out Rene's formal line. Renei! Jackalope oddity, a crick-alph who to mimic moonshines pregnant elk but messed up and got turned into a jackalope. They're so pregnant though, so all in all, not a bats' bill.

Zach C, a member of the Bastards of Fun, Pirate Cruise, act as a no who their parents were and could not be happier about it. Aiden are the only green teen greaser than Beverly. Aiden uses the oil from their forehead to keep a candle burning eternally for pull-off. Jeremy are the bartending assassin for the SS Stormborn. You'd be amazed how many people you can poison just by offering free shots. L.E.K., a magazine publisher captured by Galad Rosel. They now spend their days pumping out issues of a sexy blade catalog called

Sworted Sword? Quarterly. Luke Gates, wizard with a different spell written on everyone of their super long perfectly painted fingernails, Luke and cast Powerward Kill whenever they want, but can never use chopsticks ever again. Ritterin, Kakao's new master, the most dangerous mission Ritterin has ever sent Kakao on was to the store to buy more crackers. Now that's trust. I'm hopeless, down on their luck adventurer who slipped on a banana peel

and fell into a bottomless abyss while on a first date. Timmy R, a wind elemental who absolutely fucking hates kites. If you're ever flying a kite and it just dive bombs to the ground, that's Timmy taking his revenge. Alex Sam, the tattoo artist for all of Bastard's cove, Alex invented drawing a heart and writing mom inside, and they've been coasting off that high ever since.

Amy I, the landlord for JV and Jemma's new apartment in the afterlife, aside from all the loud fucking, they're model tenon. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP, to save time on dinner prep, Cassandra just swallows all the ingredients raw and then eats an entire stove. Cody John H, the only scullywug with hair, which would be weird if it didn't look so god damn full and luscious. Aaron, RS, a fire genocid enough for bin romance with a water genocid, their love maybe taboo, but they can boil eggs while having sex so it's super hard to quit.

Lucas, be a security gnome, Lucas can't protect your stuff, but if someone else tries to steal it, they'll scream super loud. Ruben A, a demon who joined the chosen, sure it's a tough life and all the prayers are murder, but when you love milk as much as Ruben, you do crazy things. Jordan L, a tuba player who performed at Gemma and JV's wedding. Unfortunately, it was just Jordan and his tuba though. The rest of the band bailed when they heard it wasn't in the material plane. Even still, JV cried after every

song. Laura S. A petite pixie who lives in a buttercup drinks doodrops and rides a bumblebee like a horse. Life is growing great for Laura until they accidentally stung a cop and now are looking at 4 to 5,000 years in jail. J. Parker, the first player to hit a so-so sick trick playing the giant shredder game at Smuggler's Bounty, was later found dead in their hotel room after being pleasure to death by a sucky-bad. Austin C. the Jester made a jaman with a joke-filled life who strives to be the best of the best

of the sorcerers, runs into wild magic and begins to cause his party, mayhem, and magical pains. A god complex leaves him finding his dark humor hilarious and attempts to have his brother do the same, only to find his brothers much funnier and much more powerful. Austin M. R. A. K. A. The Butcher known as Bonesau Austin can cut through any bone and survives

on a diet of pure marrow. They're referred to meat as cowards pudding. Touch it, a dancing bard who invented the Bohumi inversion of Boppet. If you fail, you get trapped into prison jam for all of eternity, but otherwise it's basically the same. Kaylee Elise, the honey queen with a heart of gold. Kaylee Elise both delicious and 100% honey goblin cruelty free.

Dave J, Bailyn the Bard, a traveling bard that witnessed the moonstone massacre and decided to follow in the wake of the band of boobs, chronically, chronicling their exploits and interviewing the few witnesses left behind, currently negotiating the bookrides with pop-off. Kevin, a traveling dog-a-mancer giving out doggies. Kevin gives out the bestest of boys to the bestest of teens, fully without their parents permission. Devon W, a Bohumi and Firework seller currently running a package deal with Kevin where if you buy a bundle of firecrackers,

you get a dog for free. Chris H. A concerned Bohumi a parent whose child is allergic to dogs and also just blew up one of their fingers. Watch out Devon and Kevin. And finally, Shinoa B. The most handsome hand in all the land, handy, handy dreams of one day vigorously shaking.

Shinoowa B. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to all of our council of elders and all of our Patreon subscribers and all of our listeners. We'll be back next week with another episode. For now, you can get head on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod. To listen to the short rest, we'll catch you guys next time. Bye, Sweeties. That was a Hate Gum podcast.

you guys next time. Bye, Sweeties! That was a Hitgun Podcast.