Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 7: Frog King's Revenge (The Moonstone Saga)

Episode Date: March 22, 2018

The almost-heroes have free rein of the castle now that the kobolds have been chased out, but the threat of the bullywug king still looms! Hardwon races to save the Green Teens while Beverly and Moonshine search for the dragon's egg. Jonah the Crick Bullywug and PawPaw wrestle.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumi Everyone. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Hard one, short foot. Emily Axford. Munchanine sobbing clocking in and business call ball time.

Backing in for business. Beverly Toggle reporting for duty. RIP Josh. Oh yeah. Josh guys. We lost them. I realize Josh got kind of fucked over because he should have gotten some HP back from sucking on Paul Paws. Teet right. Oh, if moonshine had to let him do a full suck, he would have survived the fall. You know what?

He didn't get a full suck, so we'll say he probably only got a couple HP back. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I mean, he murdered his friend. He did murder his friends at the drop of it. I tell you what, I would not have asked him to watch my pot of stew. This is exactly like that Simpson scene where like Homer shoves the sheep away for the

cuter sheep because like we had this really cool little lizard friend. And then Emily saw the Crick bully wall and was like, Yus! Big ass piece of shit out of here. Let's do a little recap from last time. So last time you snuck into the sunken keep, saw that the cobalt and the bullywigs were working together and were trying to ambush you, but you ambushed them.

Hard one held the door shut so that the cobalt couldn't get to you while you executed the bullywigs. Some cobalt did get over the wall, but you quickly dispatched them. The only cobalt that was left at the end was a buff cobalt named Josh, who was such a bastard that he killed his friends just so you'd let him live. See that's why you don't trust him. He wasn't a great guy but he was a fool. All you had to do was roll a 12 persuasion for him to kill

his friends. Yeah, it was pretty easy. Just grow bold. Like you wanted to do it a little bit anyway. Broboolds are so gold when it comes to friendship. That's a green teen saying, yep, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, The king bully woke, jumped out of the tower and fled. You heard him splash into the water. You guys then went up into that tower and Moonshine pushed Josh out. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're rewriting history. I threw Josh at the bully one king.

Because then you tried to hit him, but he was, he's a froggy swim so fast. I would argue I dispatched Josh. You also didn't really- Is that gonna help kill the king? Yeah. You never looked for any kind Is that going to help kill the kid? Yeah. You never looked for any kind of perception checker, anything like that.

You just grabbed him by his butt and just tossed him right out. Go get him. A little prompt. And then you guys just saw, you guys tossed him by his plump rom out of the tower. You heard a splash and then his body floated to the surface. RIP. Ask first. Our bro, Josh. It's floated to the surface. RIP. Ask first. Our bro Josh.

It's a beautiful plump rum just floating. Yeah, did his plump rum look like two inviting Lili Pads? Yeah, sitting in the boot like, yeah, you, another little frog might end up jumping on there. You don't know, just two big apples jumping on the plump rum. Jump on the plump rum. Okay, so in that tower, you guys found the bones of the dead dragon shadow fang. This must have been where she hung out.

You also found a Crick Bullywug named Jonah who had been captured by the regular Bullywugs. I was being helped captive. I explained that the King Bullywug had a nasty looking sword and stole some of the treasure before he left. You guys did, however, pick up quite a few nice items. You got the boots of Elvenkind. You got a couple of master treasure before he left. You guys did however pick up quite a few nice items. You got the boots of Elvenkind. You got a couple of masterwork throwing deaders.

You better believe I'm wearing some nice-ass boots. Are they like combat boots? Or are we talking leather boots? That sounds like if they're still... They're like made of leaves. They're so quiet. Your feet... Just leaves crawling up my sexy calves.

As you walk along the ground. You do a little jade. You would know about those kinds of boots down at the creek, but never really been exposed to them. Yeah, I would have really heard about them. We'd be like, oh, that's high up nonsense. Yeah, you probably wear your own leaf shoes down at the creek, but they always make a lot of noise.

So these are weird for you. They crunch. These don't crunch. But what if I want to tap dance? They won't make any noise. Well, that complicates some of my moves. You'll just have to like tape some sort of like hard material to the bottom of the show. But it's broken spear. You guys also got a fiddle that says Old Betsy on it.

And Beverly found a holy symbol of Polora, a little amulet, that he recognized as belonging to the legendary cleric theala because he has paintings and such of her on his wall at home, but when Beverly showed it to the rest of the party, it cracked. A bad omen, probably not great. Or maybe a good omen, like, a new day is beginning. Yes, but that means we cracked the code. A crack in a holy symbol is always a good thing.

And we'll start from there. So you guys are in this tower. You guys are with Jonah, the Crick Bullywug. The King Bullywug has jumped out probably like five minutes ago. He swam across. Josh is dead forever. He's definitely in hell.

He killed his friends. So, y'all, let's circle up, have a little chitter. Circle up, have a little. OK, Jonah, hun. So y'all let's circle up have a little chitter circle up have a little okay Oh, Jonah yeah, hun You're adorable Maybe go entertain yourself. Can I wrestle with Paul Paul? Yeah, go do you mind? Pop on Jonah start wrestling around the ramp

Pop off quit using your teeth Just show your teeth altogether please He just flashes you a toothy Jonah, quick just showing your teeth altogether, please. He just flashes you a toothy. So snaggle, just so snaggle toothy. It's weird, it looks like all the teeth are competing to be in front. It's a pageant, they're all losing. So the way I see it is we've got, I'd love to search this castle, try and find the dragon

egg, but I also think that the Bollywood King is not gonna try and get that tried in tonight, at least. I think we should go into Moonstone and rat him out to the barbarians. Cool. It asks like a sign of fake difference to them. So you want to search the castle then? Then Caravan,ans. Got it. So why don't I think I want to go collect the green teens. That's true though

You guys yeah, that's okay. Yeah, the king was headed right towards them so that with the king was headed Past the green Yeah, they're pretty well, but um, I don't have some fear some Some lingering fear of they're not super smart I mean, I'm assuming they've created an elaborate tunnel system at this point, right? But if that if that King like even steps on a twig and makes it sound like bronze ash, they're all gonna jump It's true and Dirland does have a very loud giggle so that could give him away in a moment's instance

Yeah, y'all young and giggle a lot. We just love life and we love to lore. We're just filled with a light of joy. What can I say? You hear in the distance and that go up. Oh, God, they're not self. I just feel like they always sound like they're getting tickled. To be fair, they might be tickling each other right now.

That whole mind, you have a shirt that says it's a pellor thing you wouldn't understand. And we don't. That is kind of what you don't do. We would tickling relates to. Yeah. Just like you're filled with the light and you just feel kind of an overwhelming sense of giddiness. You know, it's interesting because the youngins of Melora, we like to just rassle.

Yeah, feral. A scuffle. A-ha. Tussle. And it seems like the youngins of Pallor are just tickle. We like to sit quietly and laugh to each other and respect our elders. And the youngins of Mordyn like to mine into the mountain and give iron to our parents. You like your youngins working?

Oh yeah, that sounds like childhood. You started in a very early age. It sounds hard, yeah. Interesting. We should probably go free some. It could be corrected. Yeah. The Dora Pune was mostly in mine. Do you guys mind if I check out these dragon bones?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go down, I'm gonna go into the woods. I think that's why. I think that's why. We only have like a scale model of these back in my classroom, but like, you see the real things It's so cool. Let's try and put them together, you know like a museum. Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna inspect the dragon bones Okay, so a hard one where so are you

Belaying down or you walking out the front. What are you doing? We're standing right now in the in the front right you guys are in the back Facing out towards where the green teens are. I can hold this rope and you can belay down. Dude, cool. Hard one, just Josh down. I got some Josh grip. I got some Josh grip.

So hard one. That's a good one. Hard one, you belay down. You see two plump ass cheeks floating near you as you get to the bottom. But you're having, bro. ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream You respectfully closes, but I know more water gets in. I sleep for now. His butthole is so full of water that he does sink though. No. I'll never let go.

So hard one starts swimming towards the green teens. Meanwhile, you guys are in this tower. You guys just picked up all this treasure and you've got these dragon bones. Yeah, I guess I want to do maybe like an arcana check on the dragon bones. You know what, give me a history check. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give me a history or a nature check. That's pretty good. I got 17 for nature. 17, go with that. Okay, you see that there's, I don't wanna tell you what I got for history. I got so I pretty much, I pretty much hold the bones up to my nose and sniff them.

Oh, cool. To try and suss out there as it is. You suck the marrow. I suck the marrow. While you're sniffing, you notice that the bones aren't big enough to be like an ancient dragon. This was like a young, or this was like an adult dragon. Adult but not.

Right, it was probably like 75 or 100 years old. Like a dad that's not as that pussy on a dragon. Right, it actually the pussy's not there, it's just bones. Really? Oh yeah, but I'm just saying like, on a 70 year old. Hard to wait, you're not there. Can I tell? I was a guy listening to the show.

Murf Murf. People want to know about dragon pussy. Can I tell from the... Can I tell from the pelvis if it was a man or a woman dragon? You know Shadowfang was a woman. But this, how are the pelvis is different? It would be like a wider burger. It's what it says you could give birth out of her dragon, but I see.

I guess what Emily's asking is, did you get shoot eggs at her dragon? We were trying to deduce that this was shadow fangs. Yeah, we want to know if this is shadow fangs. This was shadow fangs, okay. Okay, so shadow fangs was a spray adult. Yeah, a mom, but not a grandma. Yeah, the touristy out in it.

She was not a girl, but was a woman. Yeah, but still in her primate scenes. Huh. I look down at my amulet that I've gotten. Okay. I think in the excitement over the dragon bones I forgot about it. And now I kind of like, I look at it and I look at the crack and you know I use my you know training in the in the light of Polora to kind of like, just see if I can get a sense, if I can delve anything from it, if I can like commune with this holy relic. Give me a religion check. Okay.

Yo, it's just such a great nat 20. Nat six baby. Nat six. What is that with your mind fire? No matter what the role is, you put nat in front. It sounds bad. Yes, true. That's gonna be an eight. Okay, true. That's going to be an eight.

OK, shit. That's an unnat eight. Let me tell you what that means. All right. So they're right. Any hair, Jonah's just behind you in your ear. Jonah, quit whispering. You can't hear it.

I'm so sorry. I just saw my rat around. He's just not nice to your head. Yeah, OK. Do you if I show you some knots? Oh, please I would love to see how you rope a dope and throw those ropes around. I handcuff them with knots. Oh You are I didn't know it was a game

It's a green team game. You just are going around. You wrestle the knots now. He's talking just as much but just to himself as he rolls around the ground. How will these knots out? This is a fun game. I don't have fun out here. You know, it wasn't exactly what I wanted, but okay. You

know how you felt, little and bearish when we all met your green team friends. Yeah. Feel a little bit with that with this Crick Boywag. We're learning a lot about, you know, just pre just pretenses and kind of like People are head or body types and then how they can be harmful understand so I would like to go to The one tower that we haven't explored isn't there one tower that you haven't been to either of the towers in the front of the castle

I want to go to bull. Great. Why don't we split up? Not a good idea? We might as well go together. Okay, okay, we'll go together. Yeah, I'll tell you guys quickly. I'm your caretaker, I can't be leaving you. That's true, that's a good one. You guys, you guys go up to the two towers or the front. It's hard to just quickly if you guys. Hard to go to sprinting away.

Yeah, hard one's gonna take a little longer to get where he's going than these guys are because they're just in the keep walking around. This is all only taking a few minutes. So you guys go back, you guys go up to those other two towers, but they're just basic. You know, they've got some pelts there for people to sit on. There are arrow slits for people to shoot.

You see there are a couple crossbows sitting by the... I'm just tim Horton. Yeah, there are boxes. There are, there's, there's a, you know, tin coffee mug. Seems like maybe these guys were pulling some long nights. Box of donuts. Okay, but nothing that is of interest to us. No, nothing of interest to you guys.

And I would like to be watch style dive into the water and go looking for a dragon egg at the bottom of the water. Is there anyone else you want to look in the... So we've, we've inspected the two towers though. So you guys have, you guys have been in all four towers. You've been in the one with the dragon bones, the two in the front. How, would you say that a dragon's egg is a magical item?

No, it is not innately magical. Okay, cool. You know, you guys haven't looked around the castle in the past. Yeah, you've just got the animals. Could I talk to the embryo of the dragon embryo? No, you cannot. Do you, do you speak with animals too? I did, I did stock it for today.

Oh nice cool. To try and find the dragon egg, but it's not gonna come in handy. Hold on, I mean I guess we could like, you talked to papa. I wanna do a perception to see if there's any animals around that we could, that we could talk to. Sure.

Sure, we're both adapted. Yeah, you can. Okay, so you wanna look out the front of the castle until like the water surrounding the keep. I got a 13. That's another net six. Oh man. I'm in the hexagon.

I mean, there are little frogs bouncing around. Yeah, they're not going to tell shit though. Probably not. Huh, I guess we just just like scour. It's scour time. Okay, so you scour around. I mean, basically there's only four big rooms here, right? There's one that's totally flooded, one that's the mess hall, one that's a bedroom, and one that's a dark magic chapel.

Is there any room you'd like to check out? I would like to continue swimming in the sunken, I'm just kidding. I'd go to the dark chapel. I guess it's true that we were having a big fight last time we were there. Didn't get a good look at that. So you guys never, you guys didn't really check around, right? There's a big, dick corpse right in front of the door. Oh yeah, take a quick look at that. you guys didn't really check around, right? There's a big, dick corpse right in front of the door. So they're still there.

Oh yeah, take a quick look at that. It's like, oh yeah, forgot about him. To can a little bit. Yeah, it's weird. It's still massive. I cast gentle repose on his dick, which prevents it from decaying. It's still beautiful. It's pristine.

It still has a little dew on the tip. You see that the cobalt have cleaned up. The cobalt have cleaned up. The cobalt have cleaned up the rest of their dead, but that guy is still there because they didn't want to move him because he looked so beautiful. How are his teeth?

They're great. They're beautiful little things. I take one, great. You take his teeth, you fucking. I turn away because I don't even know what you think about that. So you guys are in this chapel. It looks, yeah.

It looks pretty much as it did before, but you guys see this big stained glass window with an image of a dark sorcerer glowing with like black and purple energy. In front of that is an altar, and you see he's shooting like purple energy out towards the altar. You see the altar has like a couple scrolls on it.

There are, there's a pire that was never used and go ahead, somebody roll me an inside check. Okay. Oh, not 20 babies. Oh, okay. One thing Strikes 2 has very strange is when you guys were outside looking at this side of the castle, the window was not there. The window? The window was not there. Oh, you can only see it from the inside? Yeah. Whoa. That's very interesting. We didn't see this window before. Yeah, what the fuck does that mean? I don't know. It's got to be magical in some way. And also like, I want to... I touched the window. Yeah, okay. Okay. We shouldn't touch it. You touched the window and it appears to feel like a regular window.

But you do notice that you can't see through on the outside. We know light is coming through or anything. When you say that there are like purple bolts, is that just in the window or their actual energy like, no, it's just like in the picture, but it looks like he's shooting purple at the altar. I want to inspect this thing. So I guess we should shoot light at the altar. Oh Interesting. Do you have anything that could shoot light? No Okay, shooting like wait, I want to do like what do you want to see? I want to look at the scrolls on the table great. Oh yeah I don't know when I pretend to read that

Yeah, which I just no matter I'm interested in, huh? I've never seen a written like that before. You see two. In all my years, two. Two, skin you're just. You're all too much. There are two scrolls on the table. Moonshine is just talking about whatever.

And Beverly, you look over her shoulder, and you see one of them is for a spell called Flamblade, and one of them is for a spell called Iceblade. OK, it's two spells. One of them is a Tim Horton's coupon and then the other two are spells. Once for Flamblade, once for Iceblade. Okay, I don't have that currently stocked, but I do have ice and I if I can try to ice and I have to kill it. It's a scroll. It's a scroll. It's a scroll. It does the spell. We learn them up, right? You can use it once. Okay, so he's got two shooting things that are at the spell. We learn them up, right? You can use it once. Okay, so he's got two shooting things that are at the altar.

So you and I both go on one side and shoot it at the same time. Fire and ice, okay. That's awesome. Thank God I wasn't here because my instinct was to break the window. I've been quiet this whole time, but I wanted to throw my axe. Okay, I know about where they are. I admire moonshines, Crick, ingenuity. So I guess we each take a scroll. Great, you each take a scroll. Which one does each of you guys take? I'll like to take the ice one because I feel connected to water.

And you take flame blade? I take flame, like the purifying fire of pellar. Great, so you guys can cast the spells. Would you like to cast them? Yeah, just real quick. The beams coming from Asma Deas is his hands? Yes, they're coming out of his hands shooting at the altar. Okay, is there any difference between the two of them?

I want to make sure we're all on purpose. It's just purple. Okay, it's just purple. So you guys suddenly a magic blue blade appears in Moon Shine's hand, and a magic red blade appears in Beverly Sam's. Let's smoosh them together and put them on the altar. If I know anything from my color theory classes with with Miss Maceum in art,

blue and red is purple. Blood and water makes purple. That's what we say at the creek. That's an interesting way of putting it, but that is true. Okay, so yeah. I guess we try and aim our beams to meet and form like a nice purple. So you guys are gonna slice in the same area on the altar? Yeah. Yeah, I guess I don't know how the sword works

if it fires a beamer if we just like slice it. It's like a sword. Okay, yeah. You guys have like a magic sword in both your hands. Yeah, we make the sword's kiss. Yeah. You guys both swing down. The swords kiss. You see where they meet the blade turns purple.

You slash into the altar. It appears to have no effect on it until suddenly the altar shakes. We just keep holding it. Yes, you guys hold it down. Keep shaking. The altar shakes and moves. It's scared.

As a pillar rises from underneath it, you see a top the pillar is a long glass case. It looks like it should be holding like a sword or something, but instead there is a football-sized black egg jammed in there. You see the egg shell has little scale like grooves all over it. Seems like maybe these cobalt's new of this hiding place and jammed the egg in there to hide it from the bully wugs.

Well, we need to, let me do a quick perception check or knowledge check something. It's a mix of. Make sure. To know if I can grab this thing. Sounds good. Yeah, you can just do like an insight check or an investigation check.

Jumbolyah check. Boiled, soft boiled egg in there might be really nice. Oh my gosh. Sounds good. Yeah, you can just do like an insight check or an investigation check jumble. I check boiled Soft boiled egg in there might be really nice. Oh my gosh Okay, ten it looks like this case wasn't made for the egg And that if there was a trap or something it probably would have been set off Okay, um grabbing it great. You grab it grabbing it with that the gentle motherly touch of a prick woman nice gentle motherly touch of a Crick woman. Nice. Gentle motherly touch of a Crick woman. Moon Shine pulls out the dragon egg.

It's an asshole. Cut to hard one chore for it. All right. Hard one. I bet nothing exciting is happening back in the seat. You see the entire keep explode. I just turn over my head and there's just like a purple light shining from in there.

What am I missing? It's really funny that you guys instantly figure... I'm not that it was a tough puzzle, but you instantly figured out the puzzle, but we're just walking around being like, what room should we look at? Just the most magic room of all time or the pond? I'm going door to open, but once I'm inside, I'll know exactly what to do. I think it was because we had been in the room before. Right.

I was like, mentally checking it off, but it is true we did just kill a buff lizard in there and not inspect it. I just thought for sure, I mean, if you think of like, Joseph Campbell's hero quest, I thought I was going to have to dive into the water. That's my favorite D20 adventure is Joseph Campbell's hero quest.

So hard one. You get up out of the water and you start heading back towards the camp go ahead and Give me a perception check That's an 11 Oh, wait, you know what it's gonna be less than that Yeah, no, it's just a seven. Okay, it's actually a zero This dude has advantage in the swamp, but he rolled two threes. So he

did worse than you. Yeah. You see trials of hard one. As you're approaching the camp, you see the bully wug king is like looking into the camp, like kind of looking around. You see he hasn't seen you yet. Okay. I'm gonna go back to the key and see what was going on with it. I'm gonna try to save these green teens. They've already been harassed by the Golden Walks enough. Great. Let's am I far away? You're about 20 feet away from them. You can get to him or you can throw an axe or whatever you want. Now I'm gonna go for the great axe to the back of the head. Don't, very good. Okay, so you're just charging up on this guy?

Yeah, okay. Just come back. And hard one's just wearing a new crown. Roll with advantage to see if you hit him. Oh, yes, that is a 19. Dude, you crit. Oh, you crit, bitch, you crit! I have finally got to learn my character, man.

Oh, I was that, Chris. Dude, yeah, so you roll 2D12s and then add your modifier once. Shit, so this bully bug is like looking into the camp and you hear, they're hiding pretty well, but you hear a little like, what is funny about this early? He looks like bossnass from episode one. It's my favorite theater play. He looks like boss gnash for Memphis of 1. It's my favorite theater play. That didn't count as rolling off.

Yeah, I am. So that's two sevenths. So is that a 14? 14 plus what's your modifier? Four. So 18 total. Total. So this dude is looking into the camp.

You see he's wearing his makeshift crown. He has a cool red cloak on that he didn't have before and he's actually, he has a shield on his back. He's carrying a two-handed sword that has black flames coming off of it. Oh shit. And he's like looking possessed and looking with like red eyes into this camp looking for these kids you come up behind him and you Slash him across the back and he just yells out Roll initiative Oh one man fight he probably got his kidney right

Like even if he got her vibes he he got a nine. I mean, this is so I'm so scared to see what that sword does to you. I mean, this is cool or whatever, but we solved a puzzle. Yeah, that's pretty good. I'm gonna get my ass kicked by a frog. King frog. I feel like for sure the bully one king is like all gold teeth. He's like decked himself out. Yeah. He's got like real like gnarly, gemstone teeth up in there. He's got the little wing grill. Yeah. So the king turns to you and he says, How dare you! I'm the king of the Boolywood!

Well, it's just me now, but I'm the king! And he takes a swing. You're the king of jack shit. Ha ha ha. Does not hit. He takes a second swing. And he hits. What did he hit with? He hits with his big ol' sword. Fun. That sword doesn't look like a lot of one.

That is 11 damage. That's pretty good. That was a full HP when I left. Okay, that is you hard one. He hit him. He hit me for 11? Ghost count master hard one, go! Quiet, really. Get through it.

What about me? Do I have to be quiet? He hit him. Wait, he hit me for 11. Ghost cow master hard one go! Quiet, or really? Get through it! Ha ha ha ha! What about me? Do I have to be quiet? Uh, no, you're good, crant. Ha ha ha ha! It's actually me, Durlin. I have the deeper voice. Okay, Durlin, then you shut up.

I have the fire voice in everyone! Crank, you're cool. Thanks! Ha ha ha! Who are you talking to? That's a one, but I get to roll it again. I'm gonna know, you don't get to roll in the attack roll again. Huh? You just missed your attack.

So you just dinked big time. Really? Yep. Sorry. So you see this guy, necrotic energy bursts from his hand, and he touches you. I am going to need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving throw? Great.

Oh, you're very good at that. Watch this, 13. Okay. He reaches out to touch you. You feel for a second, like you're paralyzed with fear. For the first time ever in my life. And then you hear in the back of your head, your hard one fucking shore foot.

You're the goddamn scout master and you push the fear out of your brain. Yes, that's your turn. Fierce for Chumps. Great. Good Lord that's us. Ten total. Yeah. This guy blocks it with his magic sword. He's gonna touch me again. He's gonna take a swing at you with his sword. And that is a 14-hit. That doesn't probably doesn't hit you. Nope, okay. He's gonna take a second attack, and that definitely hits. That's a 21-hit.

Yeah, that does hit. Believe it or not, a 21-hit. You're a hard one, Chuck. You're a hard one, fucking Chuck. 14 damage. You have action, sir, and second- second wind yeah, I'm about to use cool I think both use those yeah, okay thing it is now your turn so I'm used you can swing first great see what happens from there I'm gonna have to use that side of the I did you can I got a four man

Don't say it dude That's a 17 that time That hits That's a 17 that time. Oh, there we go. There we go. That hits. That's a two plus, that's a six. Okay. Not great. It's damaged. Okay man, you started this out so great.

Remember when I held the door guys? He slashed him across the shoulder and he laughs and goes, oh I mean overall I'm pretty hurt but that particular hit wasn't that painful Do you want to do second wind? Yeah, I do okay roll d10 plus your fighter level to heal God damn it's a one So for total four okay, I put to be back to 12 That is back to the king he goes with a necrotic hand, tries to grab you, you feel fearful, but Romeo wisdom saving throw. It's the second time.

Romeo wisdom saving throw. God damn it, this sucks. I have a spell that prevents this. All right, that's 15. Oh, you resisted. Yeah. You can't get in my head. My skull's thick as my cloth.

Cannot get intimidated. That's you hard one. All right. Come on. Yes, that's a 22. Oh. That hits. And that one hits him for seven again.

Seven again. You slash him and he's starting to look really fucked up. So am I. And you see the sword glows harder, and you see him so furious just shaking, being like, I'm going to take you to hell with me. You're trying to take my sword. I know you're trying to take my sword.

No one can have this sword but me. I can see why they made you king. You're crazy. He slashes at you, and he is gonna hit. Oh no. For eight. Oh my god. And he takes a secondashes at you and he is gonna hit oh no for eight Oh my god, and he takes a second swing at you. He's still up barely. Okay, and he hits oh He just hit you for

15 15 Good Lord. Does that kill my ass. Are you down? Yeah, I'm down. I'm down for sure. Okay Okay, okay. Hard one. And at negative 11? Oh shit. Negative 11. Yeah.

No, we just go to zero. You just go to zero. Okay, thank God. So you go out, you go to zero. You wake up to the tail end of somebody saying, hey! Hey! Hey!

You open your eyes to see Irland over you just as the king bully wug takes a swing down on him. And Irland on Irland. No, not Irland. No block. And he swings and he misses Irland. Oh, Irland moves out of the way, but he takes a second swing at Irland. No, not at Irland, man. And he misses again. Irland dodges backlin moves out of the way, but he takes a second swing at Arlin. No, not at Arlin, man. And he misses again. Arlin dodges back and moves out of the way. Beverly's hairs are standing on end. Arlin does not have as good of AC as Beverly,

but the King Bulley Woke just rolled a two and a three. Oh, man, thank. He's blind with rage. Okay, that is hard one. You just got five HP from Irland. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are companies that make pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. It's enough. That's gonna have to play. Dude, can you use Action Surgery Second Wind again? Nope. Ha, take your swing. Watch this. That's 15. That hits. It's... Wooey! Wooey! Alright, oh, showdown.

And that is a... Come on, baby... 13. That is exactly the amount of damage you needed to do to kill this dude. A hard one, finish him. Great. Tell me if I'm allowed to do this. But I'd one, finish him. Great. Tell me if I'm allowed to do this. But I'd like to throw down my axe.

Pick up both my throwing axes, throw them down. The two new throwing axes throw them down. Just fucking choke his king with my beard. With your beard? With my beard. Sure, he's already mechanically, he's already dead, so you can choke on a death with your beard. You see all of the kids come out. They're just like scout master scout master scout master I love guys with Irland the gem barine is back on

Oh my God. Yes. Holy. That was the. Yeah, hard one, the Kingslayer. Level one layer, wow. Yeah, you kill him. So this. Oh, twice dead, now Kingslayer.

The right step. You just show. Right step. You choke out this king. He falls to the ground. He has a shield on his back. He has a cloak that just looks like some kind of cool magic cloak. And the sword is laying on the ground.

And it's got like black flames coming on it. And you see, it's holding it. Erlin says, well, that's a pretty cool sword, man. God, it seems my green teen alert is kind of going off here, man. That's bad news. That's a bad sword, man. Erlin, do you know what this sword is? He looks at it and he says I can tell it's like bad magic man.

That's bad magic. He shouldn't touch that sword. I shouldn't touch it. But I do want to show it to Beth. I mean he could just come back and look at it right man. I would like it. Alright fine. You see Dirland goes,

I don't know, man, I think it's pretty cool. I think it's pretty cool. I'm cravin'. I'm cravin'. It's like, it's cravin'. It's like, it's cravin'. All right, I'm gonna exclusively listen to Erlin'. Ha ha ha ha.

Cool, I'm gonna curl up and take a quick little nap. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, you can do a short rest. Yeah, so you can regain as many hit dice, so you have three hit dice, you can roll three detent, so you can get that HP back while you do a short rest. Yeah, so you can regain as many hit dices. So you have three hit dices. You can roll three detents and you can get that HP back while you do a little rest. Daddy's got a big excuse.

And we're waiting for these. Okay, so you guys are sitting there. All right, so we go back, cut back to Beverly and Moonsha. And you guys have this egg. And that's how you juggle. Wow, okay, you're gonna put that in my overall bib. Right, these two weren't happening at the same time. You guys were just j like I'm doing that.

Yeah. Um, so let's head back, we got what we came for. I don't think there's anything else here we need. And I'm just getting, I'm getting a weird sense. You know, you know, when you like, you get goose pimples and, uh, let's have some of this. I don't know, goose pimples. Yeah, I know, I know that feeling.

Has you might say something ain't right? Yeah, well. As you guys are having this conversation, might say, something ain't right. Yeah, well. As you guys are having this conversation, Erlin is dutching out of the way of a... Yeah, that's true. It's going up the same time. Well, nothing left to do, but scoop up Jonah and Pa Pa and make our way back.

There's one thing I want to ask about and you're gonna get mad at me. No, not. What is it? All right, you know the leftover cobalt wings? Oh, I did want to steal some and make some like rave or wing You can grab some wings. I was gonna ask if I'm light enough to use them to glide Oh my god, you could give me a raw intelligence check

Okay, I'll say a DC 25 intelligence check I'll give it if you roll a nat 20 you will have one time use. Okay, paraglider. Oh, 17. Okay, intelligence is plus two. Can he at least fashion me some ravor wings? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you make some nice wings. I thought that I could use this as a glider but they're kind of useless. Do you want them? Yes I do. Good on you. Thank you. Yeah. I earn my seamstress badge. Okay yeah I make you one. My adrenaline is still pumping.

Yeah. I think we head back. Yeah we head back. We head back. I'm sort of like dancing a little bit on the way. You guys swim back. You get back there. Testing out my new boots trying to make sound. At the camp. You see. I have a question. Go ahead.

If I splash through water, do my Elven boots make a noise? Yes. They do. Okay. So I find that out. Okay. Knowledge. We're all learning that. Can I do a nature check on the egg?

Yeah, go ahead. Oh, I'll do the same. That's 18 plus two, that's 20. Great, so you look at the egg and what you know about dragons in this world is that it's kind of game of throne style that something needs to happen. They don't just kind of hatch on their own. Okay, so I got a nat one. What do I think? This is just a regular like goose egg. Yeah, you could crack this open and maybe add it to the it might be a rock.

We got a hard boil this thing. I think this is nothing but this is nothing but ingredients first, too. I think that maybe we should put put the kabash on that one I You know about you a lot of eggs when we get back to move Okay, good guys get you guys get to the camp and you see hard one is fucked up like laying up against the tree Irland is Irland is like dabbing his head with like a cold calm press. Uh-huh.

And you see the boy Erlin. You see the bullywag king is fucking dead. I think it's course. You kick his corpse. Oh my gosh. You see he still has the cool red cape and he still has a big shield and there's this big black flamed sword that is on the ground. Beverly, Erlin says that the sword's bad.

It's not cool, beard. Can I pick up the sword with my chill touch? Oh, I will allow that. Okay, so I cast my chill touch in. So fucking metal. And I cast a ghastly hand from the grave to pick up the sword. Okay, give me, you know, give me an arcana check as you pick it up. I have zero to arcana, but I still get a fucking 18.

Yes. This sword is for sure cursed, but it's stronger than a regular great sword. With that, do I have any kind of sense of like, if you can un-curse it or what you would need to prevent to guard yourself from the universe? You would the curse to your advantage. Yeah. To get rid of a curse to dispel a curse you would need like a very powerful cleric. But what about to wield it? Do I know, like do I have any sense of like what you would need to do to wield it? You can kind of talk to hard one and see how you saw the King behaving while he was holding a sword.

I know you're trying to take a nap, but I'm not. But check out his- Totally with it. I actually didn't even get knocked out, Berlin. I swear, Mr. Skellmaster. We are a little secret. You're the man, Erlin.

Thanks. Whoa, seems like the two of them are getting cozy. Yeah, I give Erlin a little secret. You're the man, Irland, thanks. Whoa, seems like the two of them are getting cozy. Yeah, I give Irland a thumbs up. Nice. Irland gives you two thumbs up. Whoa. Dang, those kids know how to throw a thumb up. Yeah, anyway, the king was behaving like a maniac. It seemed like the, oh, I forgot,

Joan is also with you guys. Oh, it's acting like a maniac. Oh, he's being a little crazy. Right, so you know that crazy. He's not that crazy. Oh, I mean, he got a little crazier once he picked up that sword, right? Yeah, yeah.

So it seems like the sword sort of broke his mind in some way. So how could any of us wield it? Or how can we even possibly carry it? I want to look at the magic cloak. Great. Oh, can we wrap it up in the magic cloak? I'm thinking, yeah. That's what's up. Cool. Yeah, that's so good. You guys know enough about magic items and stuff that in order for you

to use this weapon, you would need to like attune yourself to it, like hold it and learn how to use it. So if you were to just like wrap it up in a cloak or something, you would be fine. Okay. You also can, as a pallet in an 8-lay sense, good and evil. Yeah, I do have that. Divine sense. Detect undead evil. This sword is super evil, right? Can I like? Can you want to do another history check? Yeah, that's a good one. Okay.

It's a 15 plus, my history is two. So a 17, 17, great. So you knew that the keep was originally owned by a noble who was paranoid and then hold up in this keep. You can kind of deduce from that that maybe it was the sword that made him crazy. Do I know the name of the nobleman? You don't off the top of your head. Okay. Young Bev, I think that you have a true and honest spirit and if anyone could wield a cursed blade and resist the lore of evil, feel like your shine in soul would be that soul.

Cran and Durlin chime in and they go, yeah man, I think it'd be dope if you had that and Irland goes, oh man, don't do it. I think that this is... Well, it seems like a majority it. I think that this is... Well, seems like a majority rule. I think that this is what... I think Irland gets two votes. Wait a minute. I think that this is one of the trials

I need to undergo to get my sixth leaf. I think I need to resist evil. This is what it means to walk the path of the ancients, to walk in Pellor's light. Fuck it, I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do. Yeah.

Do you actually pick it up for you to do again? You having to wrap it up in the med? Oh, okay, so you guys just take one more. I think that's good for now. Let's wait till we can meet with some sort of religious person who can tell us more about that. That later back the yoga month. Okay.

Yeah. That's good, because I was about to touch that sword. Let's wrap up the sword. Any excuse to see, Shay. Yeah. Hey Shae, we rescued the green teens. Hey Shae, so I can't. So take a quick bath before we see Shae again.

Are we gonna, let's head back to Moonstone? Let's head back to Moonstone. Should we sleep here? Are you gonna head back? You guys can't sleep. You've been awake for like two hours. Okay, cool. I think we should head back to Moonstone.

So what I said before is we've got the dragon's egg. Yeah. Cool. We've got this sword and actually now the bully wand is taken care of. Yes, the bully wand is taken care of. We actually don't even need to work with the barbarians. And we can kill them too. All of the cobalt that we know of are also dead.

So maybe the next thing we have to do is. I've got to return these green teens to Danny. Yeah. Oh, should we get our gold? Then we've got to go to. We're really going to return them to Danny. Let's oh, should we get our gold then we got to go to really gonna return them to Denny. Let's just bring them back. Oh, we'll give them to Mishka. Okay. She was responsible. Yeah. Well, we'll let Denny know. We'll leave Denny a note. Yeah, let's bring these kids to the end. Yeah, you want me to heal you by the way. I rolled I'm back at 18. Okay. So I think I'm okay.

If as long as that's crazy, you see also 18, okay, so I think I'm okay if if I think crazy, you see also Durlin comes over and yells touch hands. Oh, I already see another five. I don't do that in front of anyone in town. How far are you from full? Crank. But I'm, but that puts me at 23

because I rolled that okay, 10 3 10. Crank and lay hands you if you need it. I whisper. I'm okay. For now. It's safe. Crank for a bit. Cran can lay hands you if you need it. I whisper to, I'm okay for now. Let's save Cran for a bit. I whisper to Heartbeats. You got it, Scout Master. Thanks, Cran. I whisper to Heartbeats.

They don't think the spell works if they don't say the words. Are you sure? Yeah, they tell us that in green teens, but when you're fifth leaf like me, you know the difference. Fair enough. So are we walking back? Yeah Yeah I think we're walking back.

Cool. We're still thin as best we can. We don't have a pass without trace anymore though. Okay yeah. You see Jonah turns to you guys and says well now that I'm free I'm probably just gonna go out and look for my cousin and my brother cousin. Oh yeah, so it's great. Wait a minute. I can catch you back at the Creek though. Oh, I ain't going back to the Creek. I can't see this is the problem with the Creek. You know what's really a miss at the Creek? What's that? Everyone's loyalty. Oh, you know what? You turn your back on the Creek Creek, turns back on you. You know what? I can't argue with that. I came

here. Somebody right in this swamp either. Yeah, something right all over this good browner. Don't make right anyone. Did we stop walking? Okay, I'm gonna go look. I'm gonna go look for my family and he starts. I know you said in one of the early sessions that they make really weird noises that night. You hear him start going,

and you hear a distant chorus of what? What? It's like I'm back home. I lay down and I start to nap. I'm all the kids just pick you up. I think we need to go back. I'm touched. Sorry, force ahead.

I'm touched by this and I reach in my pocket and I give Jonah one of my cobalt teeth. Take care of yourself. That's not to you. We love, you know what? We love trying to teeth down at the crakes of Tay-Wat and he pulls out his own teeth and it's so loose. It was barely hanging on there. And he hits your hand and he says, you're real friend Beverly. Wow, a lot of gum on that tooth still. Thanks Jonah. Yeah, there's a nerve on here. Here, weirdly, I don't feel it at all. I think that nerve died a long time ago. Jonah, I gotta send you off with a song.

How about Old Betsy singing something? Actually, yeah. I whip out Old Betsy and I start playing. Would you mind giving me a performance check with disadvantage because you don't know, hold on. Please. I got it. Yeah, can I accompany?

I got a four. All right. Can I paint the scene? Yeah, so I see that you, I see you trying to play the violin and not doing a great job and I won't stand for that. So I hop in and and and lends you my pipes and I sing a classic green teen song. Rilla, performance check. Okay, so I also got it too.

That is the story of this show. I got it too. I got it too. This is true. This is true. This is true. It's always the two. Band of two.

Band of two. Band of two. Okay, sing your song. Okay. Oh, I your song. All right. Oh, I found myself a little dragon egg. I hope that it will hatch. You can see it. You can see it.

You don't have to beg. Just don't let it get smashed. I see it on it every night and day. And unto a pair of lures light, I pray that if it breaks, I'll have a little Drake enter in my dragon patch. Oh. That was at least a four. I thought it was better than it's you. You guys

sing an awful song and you see Jonah even in his endless enthusiasm isn't moving at all. He's just politely smiling. Hey Jonah, your toe broken because I don't see a tapet. Oh I'm so you know what? And he starts out of obligation bouncing in flames. No this is that's that's a real, you know what? I'm gonna be humming that all day. What is that? He starts to walk, I was just like, I'm sad I'm on a dragon's eye.

I'm like, what? What? What? Just a chorus of Jonas. Jonas weird rivet was much better of a performance than ours. Oh. Well, you know, we got time to learn.

But before we do that, let's go. Maybe Shay knows how to play the fiddle. Yeah. Teach me how to. I was so excited. Teach me how to fiddle. Teach me how to fiddle. Teach me how to fiddle.

So excited to sing that dang song and I rolled a fucking two. You actually would have sung it better if you rolled high. Ultimately, it was for nothing. It was to impress a crick-bully one. So you should be happy that one of your twos was on that. I turn to the green teens and be like, so what do you think? You see Durlin and Crann just look at the ground and Irlin goes, it was real good, bro. What's wrong with your thumb?

Usually it's so straight up right now. It looks so good. It looks kinda hooked. Yeah, it's like, I see. It almost like you're a heart-a-ning in it. Good job, man. Yeah, thanks, thanks. It'd be proud of yourself for finding the dragon take, man.

I guess that's pretty cool, huh? Oh, wow, you found the egg. Oh, yeah, can we round it around it? Oh, that's so cool! Check it out! Oh wow it's got little scales, it's like a dragon! Yeah! Oh it's like a dragon!

I can't believe it! It's not like a dragon egg! No! Can I hold it? Don't give up to Durlin! We don't know if it's a dragon egg, okay? I've got a feeling it might just be a regular egg. Don't let her have the egg. Are the eggs you eat done of the quick black and scaly?

No, but I mean I haven't eaten too many eggs in other countries. I do like to think that the geese at the creek are very big. Oh, they're well they got big personalities. You hear a deep distance of the forest. You talking about creakies? Big personalities in our right. I'm ready to go home. All right, let's head back to moon. We can put these youngins up for the night. Um, um, um, um, um, um, maybe not alert Danny to their existence. Uh, and uh, tell your boy Danny. Oh, see.

The teens are as like, well, we had talked to Danny as long as he doesn't do anything with the teens except for returning them. Okay. So you guys make your way back through the swamp. It takes you guys like a couple hours retracing your steps going back. One thing you notice as you approach the edge of the forest is that normally the glow of the bay is so bright that it kind of lights up the sky and you can see it.

But as you approach, the glow's not there. It's dark. No glow, no glow though. Someone took that, no glow though. Who the fuck took that? Try dark. No glow? No glow though? Someone took that. No glow though. Who the fuck took that trident? My face went no glow though. You guys get to that old dilapidated dock

where you left your boat and you see that it's completely dark. Oh shit. It's that damn shaman. We got those water walking scrolls. Yeah, well we should investigate this. We're going to have to each take a little young and on our back. I think we should maybe get the young and safety first.

Suddenly thunder hits. And the crack of lightning lights up the sky and it begins to rain. I pull out my rain jacket. Now that is, now it's back. Now the green jeans pull out little rain coats. Okay, those are loud. Put them away. Green, green.

Yeah. They're just squeaking in their jackets, trying to fit in. Dirlins is a little small. Dirlins a big boy. Now if that ain't the fingerprint of a shaman, I don't know what is. Right? Yeah. Control in the weather. It's really likely. Yeah.

We should take this. Guys, your boat is still there. I thought he said that it wasn't there. No, no, no, no. The moonstone thing was gone. Geography checks. So it's based on, it's based on lit up. So we're like, you're where you came in, that dilapidated dock that you left your boat at? Yeah, but we're there. You're starting to get back to like the other side

of the bay, right? Correct. Okay, cool. We should add to the other side of the bay, right? Yeah. Okay, great. You guys happen in the boat or using the scrolls? Let's hop in the boat.

Yeah. Cool. I think that, I think what we should do is this. I think that the boat is going to be unstable. So I think what we should do is this I think that the boat is going to be unstable So I think that we should use the boat that have two of us use the scrolls to stabilize the boat Should we just have the scrolls of the ready? I think the scrolls at the ready just in case the boat capsizes Way less elaborate sure we can do that If you want to have less fun, yeah, the scrolls of water walking you cast it on yourself. You can't cast it on a boat

Emily that's just a boat. I say we cast it on ourselves and then we're stabilizing the boat. But they only work for 20 minutes, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I, I, okay, so you're just gonna hang on. What a crazy decision, Emily. Okay, then you know what? Let's get in. We would ever do such a thing. Let's get in the boat. Mr. Teeth Collector. And I'll use shape water to be like stabilizing the water around our boat. Okay. The water is not too choppy, it's raining a bit, so it's like, you know, you're feeling some waves there, you guys getting the boat. Can I use shape water to make the raindrops look like hearts?

Perfect. Absolutely. As they hit the water, they turn into little hearts. But as you guys are going across the bay, when you guys were going out towards the swamp, there were fish jumping up and everything, when you look in you see some fish but there aren't that many around yeah it's no longer there's no longer some magic presence no more sea bass just playing the mod no more cod popping up into your boat I hate to say this but sometimes a stray at the bay

this but sometimes a stray at the bay. Brilliant. Shit, we can't end it there. We have to record more. Yeah, we have to keep going. All right. So I have to go. I have to say it again later. As you guys get closer to town, you hear screams.

Huh? You hear screams and crazy animals. The jammed screams back on. You hear bears growling horses and goats Naying bird squawking can I do a perception check to see if it's that they're getting Riled up by the storm or if there's like a war going on oh something ain't right You don't even need to roll so is it a fight or is it them like getting antsy because of the weather it sounds like the Animals are going fucking

Bat shit, okay, so it's the drizzle even the bats are going bat shit. Well, this is that shaman that we didn't do anything about So as you guys get up to the dock you see a fisherman is being attacked by an eagle An eagle's just like packing out of me. Okay I Do you want to do it or should I? I'm back in I'm in you do Okay, I cast people animals on the eagle okay, and I say Hustop creature

What you after as he's he's he keeps clawing at the fisherman and he turns to you and he goes Kill kill the people kill the people who aren't balls who don't have the party's house kill the people kill the people Do this kill the people kill the people he said the people kill the people who are in the polls. Kill the people. Kill the people. Kill the people. Kill the people. Kill the people who don't have ponytail. Kill the people who don't have ponytail. I chill touch.

I chill touch the eagle. Roll your attack roll. It's going to be a two plus five, seven. Banditus. You know you shoot out your chill touch and the little eagle flaps out of the way. As my chill touch misses, it turns into a middle finger. And he just says, fuck you, fuck you.

Chill, that's all. You can't fish her mid. Fuck you, I agree. I agree with the hand. I agree with the hand. Okay, y'all, someone has enchanted these animals to attack anyone that is in a barbarian. You see the eagle swall the barbarians would do. The fisherman's eye out.

Oh gosh. And he's just getting attacked. I'm just standing there. I javele in the eagle. Cool, throw a javele. It really sucks to kill an eagle. I hate that we have to do it. That's a 16.

That hits. Roll damage. That's a five. Can I? OK, sweet. She's out of the sky. You see the fisherman is just holding his eye Oh, why are you talking?

We need him for intel you'll you'll think us when we save your gall dang villain. I'm not gonna god damn Thank you, I don't have a fucking arm. I'm gonna get a patch He falls into the water just just yelling and hollering. Alright. I give him 10 gold coins. He's throwing into the water like it's a wish found in. You make a wish, is that really? He's holding his eye but still trying to collect all the coins as he goes.

You see the green teeds are so horrified. Oh yeah, this is fucked up. Yeah, right? It's got a cool, huh? No, this is like a Tuesday for us, like for me and you know, my two scout masks. Yeah, and this kind of shit happens all the time. I was in a bag for a day. Let's run back in.

It's rightfully so. Where are you running? I think we need to run ashore. We should head towards Mishka's, right? Yeah. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone.

We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to see a drone. We're going to are you casting? How are we gonna, what do you think is going on? Oh, hey, I chair for the end. Hey, what are you doing?

What's that? What's that? My name's Mateo, how are you? Are those devil sticks in your back? Yes, they are. He starts just doing devil sticks. Whoa. You see he's this super hot half elf dude.

Oh, she has long brown hair. That's like covering one of his eyes. I just love animals so much. And I just need to help him, but everything's wrong here. Most of the townsfolk are hiding in the temple, but the barbarians, they ordered a bunch of the animals to destroy it. She's trying to hold him off, but she can't do it forever.

We got to get that staff back. Damn your chill. I know, I I just want to save the earth you know. He's keeping so calm. I'm trying to stay calm but I just love animals and you see he just looks off pants of land of the distance. What can we do to help? I just love animals we got to get that staff back from that shaman. Do you know where the shaman went? Hey Beverly, don't tell them you killed an eagle. Excuse me? We spoke to an eagle.

I speak with, we both speak with animals. I talk to eagles all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what's your name? It's Diane. Hi Diane. I'm Mateo. Yeah, you made that clear.

Huh. And you love animals. Alright. Let's go save the animal, shall we? Yeah, we gotta get you. What we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you.

Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you.

Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we gotta get you. Yeah, we're stout. I kind of look between his pecs and hard ones pecs and then back and forth. A couple of fun or better? Hard ones are bigger, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go ahead and roll a performance check. What the heck is Mateo? Well, goddamn, that's a 22, Mateo. He got a 17, so you guys both just start popping your pecs and you're definitely not be- Can I use shape water to make all the rain, all the rain drops drum from Mateo's packs to the floor? Oh my God, yeah.

Okay, let's start. My heart is listening so much better. It's not even devil's sticks out before this. Hahaha. Suddenly a bear runs by carrying Scoutmaster Denny. Little helpier guys. We just let him. Yeah. I think we're out of good. Air runs by carrying Scoutmaster Denny. Little healthier guys. We just let him.

Yeah. I think we're I could. I help. I have residual feelings for Scoutmaster Denny. Pull the backers running off with them. Oh gosh. Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend her Lend the last one? 10 minutes, that's what mine is. Oh shit, that's so I say to the bear I say, have fun. Bear, you see Mateo turns, that bear is in trouble and that bear is in trouble in a way. He's acting against his nature. Why are you so out of breath still? I don't think

you need to make this so great. I just speak breathy, it's just natural. I just love animals. I love animals in nature. You guys don't seem that impressed. Usually people think I'm cool. Does anyone have silent stuff? OK, I'm going to go save this little guy. No, yeah, let's all go save Danny. Well, you guys can go to the hunger trout in. That's where all the barbarians are.

I can try to save the little half way. Wait, the barbarians are at the end? Yeah. OK. OK. Well, we can't take the green teens there. Um, we should- Leave the children with me.

Okay, yeah. No, wait, we are not leaving children with a bear. I've never heard of bear. I'm going to save that bear. You're going to get killed by a bear. Halfling. Damn it. Any kisses hard one on the lips.

I have to go. Where did you get this sign? This is neat. I did not put off these vibes. He runs off with the kids. They go, we're gonna save Scout Master Danny! And they chase after the bear haul. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think they've done that. I didn't kiss him back, right? Right. So are we cool with that? Are we cool with just like letting this really pretty

attractive but not super attractive stranger? I think that we need to find the barbarians or whoever is controlling this enchantment. It's true, it's only gonna get worse. You guys hear animals and screams. This whole thing is about to, it is fucking chaos. And that guy just told you that the dude with the staff

is at the Hungary Trout Inn, and that Shay is holding off people from destroying the temple. I shout to Irland and the rest as they're going. I say like, head towards the temple, you'll be safe there. Don't go with this dude. You got it, buddy. I give him the thumbs up. But they would be safe with me.

I think that that's your opinion. It might be the kiss, but I actually do trust Mateo. Fend all my friend. You're sending out a lot of signals, Mateo. Yeah, your lips were super soft. All right, we should head towards the tavern. So you guys get to the hunger trow in and tavern, and you see Ravens swirling overhead.

Like this full fucking thunderstorm, nightmarish shit, normal. Ravens is swirling overhead. You see barbarians pouring out of the, you don't see any regular people, just barbarians hanging out of the tabern, drunken rowdy, celebrating. They've clearly taken the place over.

You see the old bard who was playing the fiddle, the first time you guys ran into it. You see he's running out of the tavern with a bunch of laughing barbarians, one guy has a whip and is just cracking it at his feet. Oh, fuck that. Yeah, no thank you. No thank you.

We need to sneak in and talk to Mishka. He starts, he starts running out. Suddenly you see the orc shaman stands atop the hungry trout in in tavern and he lifts the glowing trident in the air. And a beam of white shoots into the sky and the birds that were hovering up there now hovering around it. Suddenly he's joined by a tall, broad-shouldered man, thick of calf and quad, with long brown hair. Excuse me? He wears a single leather poldrin.

He's holding a torch. You see he flashes a smile. And you see he has several golden teeth instead of missing teeth. And he pulls out a leather bullhorn and yells out, people of moonstone. Who would have thought it? The greatest true in this village. No.

In this world is a crack tooth clans own london cold spear. And he gestures to the druid standing next to him. And he says, give him a round of applause everyone. And all of the barbarians start shouting up and shearing. While this is happening, can we try and sneak around to the back of the town? Sure sure go ahead and give me a stolt Yeah

That's a two from your boy cool bandit tubes It's gonna be 14 all right cool. I got a seven as you guys start sneaking around this dude flashes a gold smile and he says well apparently some people around here don't have any manners and can't listen to a nice man when he's giving a compelling speech and he turns and he looks at you guys and you see that the shaman next to him also clocks you guys well at least one of us has impeccable well there's a look at you mood, Sean and you see pulls down the bullhorn and he says I

Take out my fiddle and I start playing He start playing the fiddle for me a performance check I will I say in honor of this great Charmin who has who has displayed powers that I have never seen. I would like to play a song. You wrote me a performance check with disadvantage because you don't know how to play the fiddle. Ha ha ha ha. It's gonna be a five. A five, okay.

You start playing this terrible song on the fiddle. I'm also singing along. Can I join in to try and help again? Sure, I have to say you're a performance check. Don't sing about the fucking dragon's egg. That's a 13 plus 6. Cool. You start singing a beautiful song over this terrible fiddle sound. I sing the song that Pippin sings. Is that Pippin sings. In a... Is that Pippin? In Ministereth. I thought you were talking about the musical Pippin.

No. The one that Pippin sings that people write. The one that when it comes up on your work playlist, you're like, fuck, I can't concentrate. There's a boy singing. I do a dour boy song. Okay, you sing a dour boy song over terrible fiddle. I'm playing it wrong. I'm like playing it like I'm holding it like a guitar.

Great. There's a crash of thunder as all of the barbarians laugh. And he goes, you're funny. You know what? Now that I'm the king of this town, you can be my court gesture. Okay. And you hear the old bard that just ran out of the building.

He perks up and he looks at you guys. As he's running away, he stops his tracks and he goes, Oh, Betsy! That's his beetle. Hey, he's talking to you! Oh my god. You see, he walks over to you guys. So I don't bet I could hear. Is Obedsy yours? Can I ever, can I just hold it? Do you

got a fiddle? I do. I do. I don't feel. We can swap seals. I haven't seen Obedsy since the dragon was here. They were making us give up our most prosperous to the dragon. I never thought I'd see her again. I tuned it, don't worry. I changed it. It's so much. You hear in the background. Okay, alright, let's stop talking to the fucking board. Alright, here's the long and short of it.

I am Gresh. I've dominated your people. Your beasts, your town, denounce your God and join us or die. Woo-ee! I look at my amulet of pellor and I shake my head. Is there a name for my new fiddle that I just got? Does it have a name on it? It's New Betsy. I can't, I can't

forsake my God. I can't do it. They're not asking us. I mean they're not going to ask us directly. Okay. I whisper that to you. I can't forsake my God. I can't do that. Yeah, you don't need to. I don't know what you made it seem like I'm going have to do that. Like, there's gonna be a test. But I can't cheat on a test. Just keep it quiet and let's see how this plays out. Okay. We don't have the upper hand here, I don't know if you've noticed. I got socks!

Yeah! God socks! You know what, you look like a strong one. Why don't you come up here with us? All right, all right, good quads on your brother. Do you wanna climb up onto the shirt? No, they don't you come up here with us all right all right good quiet sign your brother Do you want to climb up onto the show? Okay, come climb it up you climb up on up cool you're up there with the shaman and garash a sir shaman All right brother bend the knee

Bend the knee of course He's on both knees. He only said bend one knee. Jesus hard one. All right, so I'm gonna. Oh god dammit. I Bend the net. Yes Okay, and that's where we're all end our session. Oh, no hard one I thought for a second that you were actually gonna bend the knee. I think you were thinking about it. And there was, no, you can't, like Beverly won't forsake his God

and I won't bend my knee. Yeah, you just can't be done. Hard one's God is pride. Start off next week with you kneeling this dude in the throat. Yeah, yeah, the fake need of the ground and then the real need of the throat. Yeah, so you've got some momentum. Yeah, you. The fake need of the ground and then the real need of the throat. Yeah, pick up from there. Oh, so you've got some momentum.

Yeah. You're coming up from the ground. That's a classic dwarf trick because they're so used to people having to bend over to talk to them. That's right. And you learn that from your daddy. Well, I never knew my father.

Well, you're adopted daddy. Right, the mountain. Yeah. Cool, guys. So, yeah, we're gonna wrap it up here. Follow us on Twitter at CHMurf is me, at called these called, well, at Yaxx, where it is Emily and at Jake, her with is Jake.

Check out the subreddit guys are not another DND podcast. It's D, the letter N, D podcast. Oh, we also wanted to thank, we had somebody sent us some nice little dice boxes. Yeah, all right. So it's really dope. Just behind the scenes, I'm using purple. I got green.

I got the blue. I got the red, color of blood, because I'm going to kill these guys next time. So, yeah, we wanted to thank James Thomas, who sent these. He said they were made by Dog Might Games, which is a fantasy woodworking company. Guys, I gotta say, this is a freaking cool product. Yeah. Anybody wants to send us cool shit? Where can they send a call?

They can send it to 1920, Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Feliz, California, 90027. That's our PO box. Cool, guys, so we'll pick up next week with this barbarian showdown. Yep. Either an epic fight or fleeing like Craven Cowards. A Craven retreat or an epic fight.

You decide. No, we'll decide. We'll do it. We will. Alright, now, would everyone please join me in the official green teen anthem, POD's Youth of the Nation? Absolutely, gladly. We are, we are. Youth of the Nation. Absolutely, gladly. We are, we are, youth of the nation.

We are, we are, we are, we are. Hey guys, thanks for listening. We're going to do our shout outs now. I'm going to start with people who requested Scoutmaster Denny, so here he is. I would like to reward Wild Jim and Brock their podcast appreciation badges for excellence in podcast listening. A couple people asked for the capture to bully wug with his head being held in place, so here

he is, a hearty shout out to Eric ADDD and GTC4. Now will you please let go of my face? Thank you! Much better! A user, Zilver, said his name is Jonah and wants a shout out from Jonah the Crick Bully Wug, so... Oh hey, we have the same name, now ain't that something. You stop by the Crick any time and we'll wrestle, you hear?

Someone asked for a derlin shout out of all people, so... Oh hey Wizard Magic, what's good man? Do you have any Rx bars? Two bros asked for Josh, so let's see if we can channel his spirit in hell. Oh, what's up Doctor Funk and Steen and Uncle Riz? I'm in hell for all my crimes against the world. There are no squat racks here and my ass is shrinking. My life sucks ass, but shout out to you guys. Greggy Jones asked for us to sing POD, so I'll just do that. We are, we are, shoutin' out Greggy Jones, we are, we are.

Thanks for listening, everybody. Let's catch up with Hard One, Beverly, and Moon Shine. My guy, Mortred, is a guy that inspires the most dread. Jan runs trails. Fleet of Foot, Jan doesn't run trails. Jan makes trails. That guy, 2261, is the guy who strikes fear in the heart of that guy, 0 through that guy, 2260. Collier Farwin, the far-out killer, the bane of the unworthy.

Hey Art, the mad artist, one who paints murals of his enemies in their own blood. Kubuchin, the Urchin Lord, sharp as a sword's edge. Ben Fox, the swift men of the woods, fierce and loyal, wise and savage. Emerald minor, the double pickaxe of Cloudbreaker mountains, the crown jewel of Bahumia. Coupar, the beard braider. I bow my head and thanks to you all. A short list of some of my favorite novels by Beverly Togold the Fifth. Number one, The Toe of the Goblin by Bella Ballerina.

Number two, Chromatic Cats by Nyan Cat Loves Me. Number three, Boy Meat Sword by Hooket Corey. Number four, everything you ever needed to know about lizards but were too afraid to ask by Jimmy W. aka the Gecko Guy. Number five, Sick Ducks by Mick Pucks. And finally, number six, Immortal Arts and Crafts techniques, volume nine, beyond God's eyes. By Master Z Felton, happy reading.

Hey, all moonshine here. Wanted to give a quick shout out to my Crickkin. Crick royalty, the stumpy night rises. Crick trickster, Escoe hefty find. The pride of the Crick are Fields 84. Not a little Crickster, two thick-tone, Crick creep rainy. And the pride of the Cric, our Fields 84, naughty little Cric, stir to thick, down Cric, Creepe Rainy, and the Cric's very own, prodigal, young and revel redbird. That was a hit down podcast.