Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 72: Hippogriffs & Stardust (Mage Madness with Zac Oyama)

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

Zac Oyama (Dimension 20, CollegeHumor) joins the Band of Boobs again for the Gladeholm Wizard Tournament! Hardwon attempts to bond with a new animal, Beverly pulls a Bilbo, Moonshine takes to the sky, and Mavris gets into it with Ren. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Lucanus Aer'Tea" by Emily Axford."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Star Spawn" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford. "'Neath a Ceiling of Stars" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Bahumia. Bahumia. Bahumia.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, Surefoot. Emily Axford. Moonshan Sabin. Rachel Ray in the kitchen, making up them. Heroes Beast, y'all. Yay.

Moonshan. And of course, Caldwell Tanner. Beverly Toggle the Fifth, trying to teach with an inspiring speech. Ooh. Very good. And then we've got speaking of teaching, we've got Zach O'Yama here. Maveris, the unschooled, Carl's Roomy, and the loser of a Frisbee.

Sort of rhymes, sort of rhymes. Yeah, no, you missed Poetry Class. Roomy, I was outside. Your tan looks good. For me. Your tan looks good. Thank you. All right, guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys set off for Glade Home, joining

Luconis and his weird worm amount on a quest to join the tournament at the University of Arcane Arts and Sciences. Luconis told you that as divine casters, you'd technically need an arcane caster in your party to qualify. You just happened to meet one outside of the gates of Gladehome in a slacker sorcerer named Maveris who was partying with the Crick Elves. Together you headed into the magical Elven City and Lucanus gave you a tour of the university.

He brought you into the Great Hall and showed you the thinking cap, the relic for which you'd be competing a powerful artifact That could mean certain doom if we were to end up in the wrong hands Lucana's took you up on an offer of huffing some crick water then showed you a secret passage while he was buzzed He brought you to a hidden basement below the grade hall where the dragon coixis Guarded a powerful machine that would allow you to cast a spell on the entire city. Munchine went to cast guidance on the city folk which Lucana- To be a sweetheart!

To be a sweetheart! But Lucana quickly counter-spelled it, warning that using the device even for good was highly illegal. The close call, sobered him up and Lucana ushered you out of the university. The next day you all arrived at the tournament, sizing up the competition around you, you got shit from another high-elf-named Ren representing the crown and it almost came to blows before Erdan broke it up. Lucannis welcomed the participants and introduced the first event which saw you facing off against a ghostly opera singer in a test of dexterity and charisma. After getting beaten up by tables debris, candle oper's, and even a rug, you slowly began buttering up the vein for...

I could take a rug. You started slowly buttering up the vein performer before finally, hard one was able to request a song so that she'd stop singing the song of force, the destroyed grade hall began to come back together until finally, you were back where you started with the masters at the front of the room, you looked around you and saw that the competition had already been halved to 16 teams and that's where we are now So you guys have just finished the first challenge. There are only 16 teams left But most of the heavy hitters seem to still be around like your friend Ren Good job everyone Do you mean that no seriously? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, free to flip at any time, doors open. No, I'll go back to the other table. You see Lucana's collapse.

Let's give it up for everyone. Everyone who made it to the second round. We only had one death. We only had one death. Okay. I see. I can't clap for that. I can't.

Biggest. Taking out on a gurney by two air elementals. Somebody was clearly set on fire by the candle lobbyers. And he just taking out on a gurney by two air elementals. Somebody was clearly set on fire by the candle lobby. And it just pulled out. Oh, fuck. Well, how can you get them to a necromancer? Erdan, why don't you raise dead on them? This person will be vomiting in no time. I promise. They'll be too late to revive them. Yes, it's been over a minute. Darn, yes, don't waste your spell slots on. That's just okay. It's not a joke.

Wait, speaking of spell slots, I got right fucked up in that last one and I'm trying to get some hit points back. Oh, I'm gonna take a peek at Bev's Amulet. Yeah, so you guys can essentially take a short rest between each round. So keep track of your hit dice. However, Bev's Amulet allows you per short rest between each round. So keep track of your hit dice. However, Bev's Amulet allows you per short rest to use half your hit dice for free, essentially.

Okay. Okay. So I'm doing that right before a short rest. So everybody go ahead, use the Amulet. See what that gives you. Use the Amulet before we short rest at all. Correct. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So everybody, roll, take your short rests and, you know, use Bev's Amulet before we short-rest at all. Correct, yeah, okay. Okay, so everybody roll, take your short-rests

and use Bev's Amulet and such as you kind of take a break in between events. You do see Erdan goes over, the Necromancer goes over to the gurney that's carrying out. You see, there's a body under a sheet. He lifts it up, you see there's a fried halfling. Erdan. Oh, Erdan.

It's Candelabra death, not a rug one. He's also wrapped in a rug. It looks like it was both that got him. You see, I think it was a... It's like both burned, but which burns worse? It's right in the wrong, honestly, rug burn, because that burns your pride. Erdan holds his hand over the halfling.

And you see the halfling comes back to life, but Erdan's way of bringing people back to life is like much more painful and awful. And you see this half like immediately just begins barfing everywhere. And Luke kinda goes, oh, it's a miracle. Everyone's serious. He's okay.

That's awesome. Oh. Erdan. Erdan. If I do not let that guy bring me back. I mean, I don't know, self-expression comes in all forms. But that's not one. Just still wrapped in the rug, barfing all over himself.

And they take him out of the gurney. Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for figuring that one out, hard one especially. I didn't really bring much to the table, but this time I feel like I'm feeling like I got my game face on. No dude, you were in there, you're the first one that charmed her. Yeah, you were the way.

I was just following you really, well, Mavericks takes a step away step away and like tearing up a little bit I'm just pumped up. I'm just really pumped up fucking I fuck I just Like a little bit crying Let's go sorcerers trying go. Sorcerers. Try to make a good hit. Get her. The chant going. Sorcerers.

Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers.

Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. Sorcerers. I You guys as he lu conis once again take center stage and he goes yes star spawn sorcerers were all very excited for

The tournament the magic I got to work on that with him No one no one responds Mage madness No one responds. Mage madness. Woo! Start spawn. Ha ha ha. They're wearing Letterman's jackets, but they're just worms.

Just falling right off them. Can I like grab one of the worms? You can try. I'm gonna try and grab one of the worms. Go ahead and make a slight of hand check. Mm, nine. You see eight, actually. Eight. You go to reach over the table you see the star spawn all pounce on you Star spawn oh

Star spawn yeah I played off being like I Grathe were I'm like you dropped you dropped a worm go ahead and give a deception jack There we go. Let's give you 20 you see like you dropped a worm. Go ahead and give a deception check. Ah! Please don't fail those. There we go. That's great, 20. You see who takes the worm back.

Storespone. Respect. And then it goes back and says it's a potato. I ask, I toast him with my infinite mug. He looks up at you and nods. Storespone. But say the word, Balnor will play. It's Balnor here.

No. He's not in like the stands or anything? There's no stands here. Okay. You guys do see after a little while, Lucana begins announcing the next event and he goes, please everyone, follow me. Excel Cior.

And you see he wants again summons his man Everyone is like embarrassed of their dorky dad, but I just feel like I'm taking the fucking pie here I think it's I think it's still dirty It's still dirty. I know I know there's dirt underneath all that like he doesn't give a fuck I know it's so obvious that nothing he's honestly doesn't give a fuck. It's true. It's so obvious that nothing he's doing is landing. It's kind of like a... Everyone just looks so bad.

Every day, it just goes, um, yes, everyone out. There will be magic prunes for all the viewers. My face is just kind of looking alike. It excels to your... It excels to your... It's kind of like a mid-millennial life crisis, isn't it? I mean, maybe, right?

Yeah. Yeah, if only he could be cool as a fucking guy made a worm, right? Star spawn. Star spawn. I am, I've done like a little henna tattoo that says Star spawn on the inside of my wrist. Amazing.

You guys see magic flying bro, flying from outside and one flies to each of you and you see the other teams begin taking off and going out the window. I straddle it like a pro. My God. Storesplone. Beverly gets on it and instantly goes down like never long bottom style just like trying to maintain control. Hell yeah. Mavericks takes out his turtle wax and he starts waxing. He sees her and goes, they're all on autopilot everyone.

Just get on your brooms. Okay. Excel Cior. I don't trust this I might I might need to I'm pretty thick You you look like you're 180 pounds soaking wet. I'm definitely more than that sloshing crushing sticky half-elves aren't normally that heavy Hey neither were humans Those are some humans that are pretty big. Anyway, see you out there, Excelsior. Our Dan flies off.

So you guys all follow. You fly out into the open air and you join the rest of the teams. Everyone is hovering over the circular chasm that surrounds the floating castle. In Lucanus addresses the crowd. This next event will pit team against team. Each crew will be paired up against another in a contest that will test your constitution and wisdom. Each of you, water and wizard, will choose a mount from the simple hippogriff.

You see a beastmaster flies in on a hippogriff, this sort of dumb looking eagle horse that fovers in the air around a bunch of other hippogriffs. It looks pretty dossile and Lucana's gestures back to the proud Griffin. You see another beast master flies in with a bunch of eagle lions hovering proudly and the dangerous Drake you see a bunch of these blue mini dragons snapping and looking fierce. They crackle with lightning energy and looking fierce, they crackle with lightning energy. Once everyone has a flying mount, you will battle it out in the air. The first team to knock the other team's champion out of bounds is the winner. This is the out of bounds area.

You see he touches the air below him and a giant arcane barrier appears as like an artificial floor below him. It's all purple. If your champion falls through this, you lose. I have a question. Are we required to use the steeds provided or may we use our own? You see Ren start slapping. Unbelievable questioning the masters.

You see Lucana looks super embarrassed and he goes, no, we said of the, we brought out the beast. You have to choose one of them. I didn't know if it was like a think outside the box. Oh, Malora, someone shove a wine cork down that dude's fucking larynx. Why don't you summon some weird crick animal, can you? Why don't you summon my ass?

Yeah, Ren, summoning some fucking ass. It's a bull. Yeah, you want someone in an animal instead of just using the ones allotted to you. I'm talking about this and I'm moody. All right, everyone, let's separate. Separate every time. Honestly, Ren I think rent some in his ass because Mavvice you wouldn't just put it out and let him like I'm like you do that, right? Seems like is that a squal thing is that is a squal thing? He just I

Like a gas man. I didn't do We cut off his head. What's it? Laughing so much Cut off his head. What was it? He, oh, I really think that. He's laughing so much. That's what I think. I think he's laughing.

He's laughing. That proves it. No, it doesn't. Oh, all right. You have to do as one of the animals provided. Just so you guys know, kind of meta-gaming wise, Hippogriff is the worst, but the easiest for you guys to kind of dominate and get to do what you want.

The Griffin is in the middle, and the Drake is the most dangerous, both on offense and as the rider. I think that Beverly has like a flashback of the phrase beef-release-low-gold, and looks over at Rin, and like is honestly a little intimidated by him. There's like an aguain vibe, but even meaner.

And way less cool. Yes, exactly. You see his friends don't even like him that much. They're all pretending not to hear him laugh. I'm rich and I buy my friends. Just a real petty elf. I like that, but you suck. So I'm just going to go with a hypocrite, I think

I like that can I name the hypocrite? You go you go over To like this dwarven beast master he goes, yeah, zip a grip number five. I name him Coolrin. Well, there's already a Coolrin. Oh! Coolrin, go poop on him.

They stop you from doing that. Okay. Hard one, what do you choose? I'm gonna shoulder bump, Ren ran on my way to my own hypocrite. I'm gonna kick your ass and I'm gonna do it from the fucking hypocrite. What number is this my dwarven brother? Let's say number one my number one friend. I am number one. But if number one goes to hard one shirt, but Mochan, what'd you like? Okay. I'ma go for a Drake.

I'ma drew it. I work with animals all the time. I commute with nature. So Mochan, you go near a Drake and it starts like snapping at you and you mount it and you really have to like try to break it in as you fly over enjoying. Hey baby, don't worry, don't worry come down, we're gonna meet good friends by the end of this. And Beverly, Mavis. Give me the Drake.

Look on his looks super nervous. Yes, who can forget the mighty sorcerer commander over beasts And hands over the reins to a Drake to you tries to pet it. It bite it starts biting at you. Okay. Okay. Give me time Cool, so you guys all have your flying mounts You guys see in the first match Ren and his crew Dispatch a bunch of dwarves, they do win. And Ren goes around, it does a victory lap on his Drake. Oh, what'd you think of that? I tore my javelin.

Oh, I do not feel good about Ren's future. Are we your only friends that you have to talk to us all the time? Oh. Like, you have to talk to us all the time? Oh. Like you have friends. If I can find out a little bit more about you, I'm trying to figure out if I should absolutely fuck you or just fuck with you. Flying away so fast. You guys also see the gnome and her Gearforged Templars win their match.

You guys see those hooded figures that you saw for the first- Oh right, I know. Can I give her like a, what's up? I, I report for a stammu-chan. Just heads up, I respect what you're doing, more power to you that could be Jonathan's mom. It's not, Jonathan's mom.

I don't know. That's crazy. I don't know. You know what, I will fucking take I'm thinkin' it was mom. I don't know. That's crazy. I don't know. You know what? I will fucking take a break from going down on earth. She says. She says. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. I guess it wouldn't be that bad. You guys, you guys watch and see that the necromancer in the Iron Mask and his Dark Knights also win. And then finally, you guys are called forward. One other thing that I forgot to mention is that you'll all have

featherfall for this. So the Master's cast it on you as you enter the play zone. You can see in the city below you, there are throngs of people watching the spectacle. Students are out on the University Green looking up. There's a loud cheer and chance when you guys come out because you're the university team You see Carl in the crowd yelling for Maveris good luck man. Thanks, dude. Hey, you know what we might not be friends

But we respect each other. I'm perfectly okay with you Dude, I think you're fine. Awesome Now that's a great roommate relationship. You're having a great time at school And then you guys see flying in on a crew of Griffins. Storespaw. Storespaw. What? That's where I'll get.

Storespaw. Oh, um, book hates what I want to use. Look at what I want to use. Storespaw. We have to go up and get the starspaw. They were always, we always had to beat them. This is the only one team that wins the competition. I look at them and I'm like star spawn.

Star spawn. Star spawn. I'm gonna be Eworms Bworms. I'm going to fully tell you guys right now that the characters that I prepared to fight you were not Star Spawn. But I'm making you fight Star Spawn. So I'm just reflavoring these other people to me. Wormed people.

You are saying I thought we're going up against Ren. I had some spi-ball. I had like a really mean spell on a kind of mean spell that you found Ren. You can still use the mean spell. Star Spawn! I use them. I reach out my hand. I say I want a good clean fight. Well, not that clean because you are made of worms, but I respect you. Make the best worm slash humanoid win.

Uh, you see, um, the main star spawn guy gets up in your face, uh, and he opens his mouth and, uh, his worm tongue comes out and he throws up a bunch of worms. Soarsbong. I go forehead to forehead with Bab and I say, Star Spong. Star Spong. Star Spong.

For me, it's sort of like, I don't even understand what they are. I, truly, neither do they. Yeah. You know what? There he is. I Neither do they There is so full disclosure what happened was there is like a type of monster called star spawn Oh, yes, so yeah, they're literally like fucking worm people and I I put them in it just like background characters But then you guys got way too in the star spawn. So now these people are star spawn, even though they're not star spawn if that makes sense.

Let's see how this worm turns. Everybody go ahead and roll an issue. That's the worm turns. Ooh. 17. Not 20. All right. Nice.

18. Oh, plus my initiative to, yeah, 22. I also got a 22. I just, it's beautiful to see so many worms living together in harmony. I know. That's one humanoid man. Straspon. Straspon.

Straspon. So you guys see, there is one worm man that has a more ornate robe than the rest, and he is declared the champion for their team. So he is the one that you need to knock out of the air. You guys all start at the maximum height, 120 feet, that you need to knock out of the air. You guys all start at the maximum height, 120 feet, and you need to knock them down through the out of bounds area, 120 feet below you through the purple, false floor. Maveris, you are first. Maveris looks at his, you know, his Drake. That's really not happy with them. And, okay, okay. Oh, you're so cute.

Shh. Any immediately cast, dominate beast. Okay, nice. What does it need to do? You attempt to be a guy on the beast. It must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be charmed by you for the duration. If you or creatures that are friendly

or fighting it, it has advantage on the saving throw, but we aren't. Sweet. Okay, so he'll just roll a wisdom saving throw. That is a Nath 6. This Drake really starts to take to you. And I can issue it commands. Starts licking you.

Great. Okay, so you have cast a dominate beast as your action. Now the mount will listen to you. It also has an attack if you would like to. It has like a lightning attack and a claw attack. Cool. So you guys, I'll say you guys started about 50 feet apart. It has a flying speed of 60.

It can definitely get you over there. Okay. I will maybe hold my action for when they go. Okay. So I'm not like first out there and getting crushed by people. Okay, cool. So you kind of hang back and wait. That is hard one's turn. I whisper to my Hibigrith,

I've eaten many noble beasts. But I will be tender and true to you. Aw! Onward noble friend! Um, go ahead and give me an animal handling check. Animal handling? Yeah, dude. It's a wisdom-based skill. This is wisdom in constitution.

Um, let's see. Ten. That's a ten. Okay, so you are able to get it to, um, even with his very dusile beast, it's just kind of dumb and you guys can't really communicate. You're able to get it to move, but not attack. Can I throw something? Yeah, so you can like move close to them,

like where do you wanna go? It has a flying speed of 60, so you can get up right up in the star spawn if you want. What do you wanna do? Cool, I wanna get right up in the star spawn and try to whack their main worm man with sniper. You fly right up to the main worm man. Star spawn?

Go ahead and make an attack buck star spawn star spawn 20 is in the King's hammer for the first time in a long time. Yeah, oh yes. Oh, it's so beautiful. The dice have a story. So it's back to a D 10 and a D6. We are the players in their fucking place.

Just hit those worms. 34 damage. Geez, you smack into him and you see a bunch of worms fly out from his robe and he reaches out. Holy shit, you guys, he's all worms. I don't know if you knew that about Stars Bomb, but maybe you wouldn't... Stars Bomb! So much. That's kind of what fascinates its most.

Oh I see. Go ahead and make your second attack. I'll just make my next two attacks at once so I don't the... The hippo-grip is trying to lick the griffins that are near. I roll the nat one and a 29. The nat one's not going to do it but the 29 certainly will. Okay that is 19 damage on the second time. 19 damage. Good second time 19 damage good god you see your boy here

is loose and worms by the second it is just worms it's all worms I like the worms but like as an opponent it's just worms I love them so much I wish I would lose worms. I think the world is full too. Believing seems so pedestrian now. It's just that we have to beat them up. Yeah, I don't like what's happening, but I'm glad that it's easy. This is the Star Spawn Champions turn. It is going to try to control its Griffin. Got a nat 20. The Griffin listens very well. well it's gonna go ahead and make two

attacks against your hip a griff so it makes a beak attack fun okay tie out no attack me you fucking coward shit y'all are gonna fall from the air seven damage your hip a griff is down to 12, and then it is going to be a second attack, a claw attack, and that's a 21-ish. Oh wait, you know what? I can impose disadvantage on anything within five feet of me. Okay.

Whoa. So what? What is this? All the time. How your new fighter thing? It's a new fighter thing. Like a protection thing. Yeah. Protection.

Impose disadvantage on someone within five feet. Okay, so I'm gonna roll, I'm gonna roll again to see if this beak attack hits. Still a 17-a hit in the hypocrite. The hypocrite still gets hit. Okay. Seven damage to the hypocrite. Okay.

Down to 12, gonna take a second attack with its claws. With this advantage. Not with this advantage, it only does it once. Only a 10 that time to hit, so Mrs. Great. The hippo-grip. Um, but then it is this Stormsball and...

Champions turn. Hit me, you son of a bitch. The animal didn't do anything. He's just gonna hold up his hand and shrug. So it's gone. Go ahead. He is going to cast cone of cold. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.

That's no good. And give me one for your hypocrite as well. 20 for me. Okay, you are fine. And my hipagraph hold an eight. Okay, that's not going to do it for the hipagraph. 19 damage to you. 38 to the hipagraph.

The hipagraph dies instantly. Just freezes and begins to fall out of the air. A hard one, you have- I can't care for anything. You have feather fall because there is a magic field of feather fall. And he's also wearing a feather fall. And you have the ring of feather fall. So you begin falling, but you have not fallen out of bounds yet.

But you do not- It's just lower because that also have a ring or a double. No, you just fall the normal amount, 60 feet per round. You're up at 120 feet right now, but at your turn, you will have fallen 60 feet. Moonshine, that is your turn. You see, hard one has begun to fall, this hypocrite is gone.

I look at my snap and Drake, and I say, and I say, God, I love your style. Love how much you reject me. It's so cute. I give them a kiss on each cheek and then I cast Investiture of Wind, which gives me a flying speed of 60 feet and I fly to go save hard one.

So you're just gonna leave the Drake? Yeah. Okay. I can't gamble on this one. You see the Drake. Yeah. Okay. I can't gamble on this one. You see the Drake. I'm in turn. I said I'll be back, okay, baby. Go ahead and make an animal handling check

to try to get it to stay, to try to like give it a command to stay. 14. 14. You see that as soon as you get off of him and start flying towards Hard one, the Drake starts to fly away. I said, but-

So you have a six. I felt like I really put myself out there with him, but okay, whatever, okay. So you're going over and grabbing hard one? And I'm going over and I'm like a catch and hard one. Awesome. You go ahead and catch hard one. Go ahead and give me, I guess, I'll let you do either a wisdom or a strength check.

It's kind of this strength of your spell to hold hard one, easier than it used to be. Although I believe hard one said he was way more than 180 pounds. I believe her damn wouldn't let me be 100 pounds. Okay, okay. But also, I'm fucking buff his hell. Net, fucking 20! Oh shit. is hell Mochan you're fully you're fully able you

As soon as the hip-a-grip dies Mochan you run over and you catch hard one you want just a fucking mount me Hey New mouth You're now he's gone my mouth is gone. Let's do this the last beast I wrote died so let's Look alive That's your turn. All right. I think I'm going to head Star Spawn Prime. Okay? I'm going to regretfully cast Bane on them. Okay, which means that I respect you, Beverly. Yeah. I know how hard it is to do what you're doing. It's, they seem like good worms. The majority of those worms are good worms.

That's just a couple of rotten. Yeah, a bunch of them are falling out. Stand by that side, stand by that side. I respect you. You contain multitudes. I'm a star spam. Oogie boogie rules. Yeah, just a couple of rotten bugs in there. Up to three creatures of your choice that I can see must make charisma saving throws.

Whenever a target that fails this saving throw makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, target must roll a D4 and subtract that number from the attack roll or saving throw. Cool. So you're doing it. So there are two that are kind of like the star spawn brutes.

Yeah. And then there's another like caster star spawn and another and the other guy that's like the champion. You're gonna do it on the champion and whoever's close to the champion if possible? Cool, they're all around each other, so you wanna do it too. Then I'll do it to the champion

and the caster and one of the breads. Okay, cool. They need to make a charisma saving throw. The caster fails. Woo! The first brewed passes. Oh. And the champion gets a 17.

Ah, that passes. Okay, dang it. So just the other caster fails. Cool. Yeah, that's all I can do this time. Okay, I'll go in now after they've done that. So first, I'm gonna, are they're all pretty grouped up together, right?

Yeah. So I'm gonna go for the rest of the dudes and I'm gonna hit them with Fireball. Okay, sweet, so then you won't hit any of your allies because they were going after the crime guys, so you're going after the lesser star spawn mage, the two broods, so they'll make deck saves? Yes.

One of them subtracts a D4. Ooh, okay, first guy already, shout out to the two crew. Hey, second one got a 17. I think that's probably not gonna save. 17 is my, okay, so even with a D4, automatically fails. Oh, the other brute, natural eight fails.

So these guys will take the whole amount of this to go ahead and roll. That was a spark of straw! Your fireball damage. That's 8D6. Jeez, I'm gonna all roll for their griffins as well. Fried worms. So, 21 for that, sweet.

And then I also, because I have elemental affinity, when you cast a spell that deals damage associated with your Draconic Ancestry, you can add plus five to one damage roll. So one of those one is now a six. So now that's 26. Nice. And then, yeah, if any of them have resistance to fire,

they ignore us that this is my other. They do not. Worms hate catching on fire. Okay, great. Tars, bounce, tars, bounce. As they follow apart. And then also can my, can my drake go forward? Can I keep going and attack the, yeah, those same guys,

you can use a lightning breath attack. So now they're also going to make Dixterity saving throws. Another Dixterity saving throw. Mage fails, two net fives, the brute fails, the last brute passes, but they are going to take 4d10 of lightning damage. You see the Drake breathes lightning on them for, geez, 26 damage. Okay. Oh.

Stark. Stark gets to this round of damage. Yeah, we're like, start gone. Yeah. Fucks the mage right up. Fucks another brute up. The brute is a great hurt. This is where I'm in damage.

Turn me against the stars. I mean, you see. I've been trying to do that forever. Two of the griffins are looking like, okay, but pretty hurt. And one of them is like on Death Store. The one that the mage is riding is on Death Store. Okay, so then that is this lesser mage's turn. The lesser mage is going to go head and cast Polymorph on Poly's Door. Okay, so then that is this lesser mages turn. The lesser mage is going to go ahead and cast.

Polymorph on... Can I have a turn spell? All right. Be sure as hell can. What level, what level are you gonna cast? Yes! I'm gonna do a fifth level. You deflect it.

You fully dispel the spell. That is awesome. You are a boot deck in Magic for Gathering and a Rule. Does the spell reflect and hit awesome. You are a boot deck in magic for gathering in a pool. Does the spell reflect and hit another Drake or another Griffin? It flies off and it hits a moonshine's Drake. That was a lot of fun.

As he was. And he turns into... He turns into a possum. So then these brutes are going to slam into Beverly's HIPAAGRIFF. Cran! Cran, no! You naming it after your friend Cran?

No, cool Rhin. It's Cran. Cran, Cran, got it. That makes so much more sense. Very different than Cran. Okay, the first brute hits on the first attack. For 14 damage, your HIPAAGRIFF is down to five. It takes a second slam attack. Shout out to the first attack. For 14 damage, your hip agryph is down to five. It takes a second slam attack, shout out to the two crew.

You and this is. The other star spawn brute is gonna take an attack, hits. Should you punch this griffin in the face. You see worms go inside its beak and start bursting out of its eyes. Starts from on, starts from on, starts from on. And the hypocrite dies and begins falling out of the... Crenn, just remember that you were cooler than that other guy.

Maver sets your turn. Can I just rush to Bab and put them on the back of the Drake as well? Sure, so you haveate Beast on the Drake. There's enough room for a tiny little guy like Bev. So you use your movement, you fly over to Bev, and you catch him. Bev is now on the back of the Drake.

What would you like to do with your action now? I'm gonna cast Fireball on that whole crew now, but I got Bev safely. Sweet. They will roll deck saves. One of the Brutes saved, but the lesser mage and the other brute failed go ahead and roll your damage So 35

Mavers you blast all three Out of the Hard one that is your turn. I'm gonna say in order to use your movement, you're gonna need to wait until Moonshine's turn unless you wanna throw something at Star Spawn Prime. Star Spawn Prime is the only one. He's the only one still standing. He's griffin' still standing.

I'm writing Moonshine through the hair. Okay, yeah. I'm gonna hold my reaction and I say know I'm riding you but you're the boss of me. You let me know where you want to go and I'll swing the hammer and then I'll call up to the Starspawn guy and I'll just be like, you're finished man, just jump. So that is Star Spawn Prime. Star Spawn Prime is going to jump off his Griffin and attempt to tackle Maveris off his. Oh!

Go ahead and give me an opposed athletics check. Oh shit. I only got an 11. You guys see like it's WWE, Star Spawn Prime, Spears, Maveris, Office Drake, and they begin falling, but they're feather falling, so no one has gone out of bounds yet.

Munchan, that is your turn. I'm gonna fly down there, go into fungal form, spores him for 18, and then catch Maveris on my back while expelling hardwant to do his worst. Okay, so Moonshine flies down, gets herself in position to catch Maveris as hardwant jumps off. Hardwant, are you trying to kill the star spawn or are you trying to pull him off of Maveris?

I want to put Maveris on Moon Shine's back. Okay, go ahead and give me an athletics check as you wrestle against the Star Spawn. That's only a 28. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha pages of wrestling in the air. You reach over, you pull the star spawn back. Star spawn, star spawn, star spawn. Yeah, yeah, break it up. We pull him off Maveris. Maveris, you're able to fall down into, you know what, Maveris, go ahead and give me

an acrobatics check. Oh fuck. If Maveris messes up big time, Moonshine, I'll allow you to try to catch him. 13. Okay, Moonshine, low DC athletics or acrobatics check to catch him. 17. 17.

You see as hard one pulls the star spawn off him. Maveris gets kind of pushed off to the side. Slightly off angle for more you were going to catch him, but you fly over and you are able to successfully catch Maveris as you see the star spawn prime fall out of the air. Yeah, star spawn, star spawn, star spawn. Oh, star spawn, star spawn. Worm start going off in the air as it falls out of bounds. And you all are declared the winners.

I love you, good about that y'all. Rest in pieces. No, the worms want to are declared the winners. Rest in pieces. No, the worms want to be in the ground. That's the natural spot. I grab one of the star spawn and like keep it in a jar or something. Sure, yeah. As the star spawn prime is falling out of the air,

his robe came off like the oogi boogie man. Worms flooded in the air. You snatched one and you grab it Starspawn of starspawn I'm gonna twist the cap off my nanorfly jars Stick it out of track You catch a couple. Yeah, are they mating it? Instantly yeah There's a lot of pheromones in that jar so I'm gonna be really going to it

Starspawn It's like a it's like a Japanese love hotel in there I like to win star spawn. It's like a Japanese love hotel in there. So the round is ended. The star spawn have all fallen out of the air. You see a magic broom flies in and catches hard one before you can get hurt. Because he was falling.

Your brooms are returned to the rest of you, so you can all hover there. You see, Ren rides over and very poorly attempts to bond with you. Oh, good job killing those worm guys, they sucked right? Fuck you, dude. What? How can you do my asshole?

I show my ass. Whoa, look on his ghost. But check, what are you doing? Come on, dad. I'm here. You do this show your asshole to the entire city Your representative is just showing off what Melora fucking dressed you in okay, and I'm not ashamed of what Melora Dress me in you don't need to spread cheeks

Just a moon is a moon okay Headmaster I hate to even talk about this, but Okay. Headmaster, I hate to even talk about this, but Ryn's over there and he's just like, he's just really coming at us with this really tough bullying energy. Are you telling someone at a two-of-the-death tournament where people die?

Yeah, two-of-the-death. I remember you guys talked about the penalty for being asshole and the tournament's like beheading. And I don't think, I don't feel like Ryn, need you to behead him. Should I get a Brendan need should I get a sword should I get a sword through yeah you I love saying I can't believe I have to say this to you don't be tattletails okay never's honestly my mom taught me the same lesson really super recently okay I'm right I mean yeah sure it's your tournament all right anyway I'm pretending that I'm coming over, sure, it's your tournament. All right, anyway, I'm pretending that I'm coming over here to just congratulate you

but also please don't spread cheeks. I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back. I hope it's not for that reason. I'm going to go back to hosting tournament. It wasn't before, but it is now. Can I do a persuasion at the other teammates on Rins team and do like a face that's, this guy, am I right?

Oh yeah, go ahead. Cool. Ha ha ha. That's a 27. Oh! Sometimes when you laugh, I think it's really low, but then you're laughing because it's really high. It's one of the other.

You see one of the warrior elves that's with him, this Elven lady in this very cool silver armor with purple and gold touches, does the jerk off motion. I do it right back. Cool, so you guys have your words with ren and then your words with Lucanes. And then they rush.

There's a lot of words. Oh, what? I was just showing, showing buttholes and stuff. So, Ren sees that the only people he's getting through to at all are mappers and hard ones. So, he starts just looking at them when he makes his insults. We're gonna fucking kill you, dude. Very good.

Ren, by the end of the day you're going to eat my ass. Yeah, that's true. Red once again just to fully influence on. Honestly, Red, look at me. Something that we're only going to let you do if you win. True. It's true that. If you win, you get to eat my ass.

That's the best case scenario. But if you look at it, it's kind of just a ping pong at this point where it's just one side keeps hitting the ball. Bren is just fully just trying to talk to his team. Keep looking over. Oh, yeah, okay. Just keep going over. Okay, we thought of a new insult.

Bren. Okay, it's in shit. Come here. So you guys see, air elementals come back and I'll show you back into the castle, into the main hall and you see that there are only eight teams left. You are onto the third challenge, the pen ultimate challenge as it were.

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I can use Inspiring Speech after every short rest. Okay, if you like use your spell slots, that's fine. Comment. Oh, is it not, oh, it's a feat, so it's not a spell thing. It's just a feat. Sweet. Alright, so I hit everyone with another amazing speech. I probably say something like, you know, there's three types of people in this world.

It's kind of like half a speech and half stand up comedy. Wow, I'm so into this. So there's three types of people in this world. It's kind of like half a speech and half stand up comedy. Wow, I'm so into this. You got hip grips, you got grip and you got drinks. And we're, of course, drinks are all tough on the outside, but they can't cast lightning from their mouth. So, in mavers, if we just keep on watching, he'll spill water on himself eventually.

And that's really the best part. And that's inspiring, right? That's what we do it for. Yeah, we wait for the water spill and then we get inspired Iberghrives have hoofs and they go clop clop clop and as I say that I just slip on one of the leftover worms First for the star spawn oh Told you you should not have hung on to those I slip on the worm and I scream Ah, and the worm goes right into my mouth and I swallow it, go.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I puke up the worm. I make myself puke and I puke up the worm and I go, and that's where the perfect team. I'm now in the wild. Once again, once again, everything that I just witness is not inspiring and yet I feel

Moved to inspiration. I am confused Who would have thought that would have happened? I would have thought we would be here. So yeah Young in he just escapes all of my labels That's 16 hit points. So you guys are inspired you get your you get a few hit points. So you guys are inspired. You get a few hit points back, you get your 16 hit points from Bev and you see Lucana's once again takes center stage and he goes. The third round is far more dangerous than the previous two. You will be tasked with stealing from a void dragon, a monster native to the cosmos. Gestures into the air, everyone groans, except for Ren who goes,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, do you have to take a shit, Ren? I know, you can open your mouth when you left. Is it Ren like supportive of my dad because he's in? You can't even tell. Can I do an insight to see if Rin has a bird or a hamster like behind his teeth, and that's why he can't open his mouth? No.

You see, Lucana's continues and goes, in a test of intelligence and strength, you will steal a single coin of copper from its hoard and make it back here. If you do not succeed and you would like your life spared, you must yield at the beginning of a round. If anyone is having second thoughts, I suggest you quit now.

And there's just silence. I'm not having second thoughts, but I think Ren is constipated and has to use the bathroom. Actually, I am constipated, but I'm not having second thoughts. Oh, Jesus. That's a very hilarious thing you said.

I'm sorry, you said you are constipated. I am constipated, I never shit around all of these people. You just said that. Yeah, I said it really loud Number two thoughts, but not second thoughts Look on his yells again no one is spreading cheeks here Ran was like we were just sitting here and we went to the head. I just don't even think. Stop telling on people. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Anyway, I don't even know what's happening. If everyone, if everyone is in for the next round, then I shall take you to the cosmos. Wee! Wee!

Lucanus flicks his wrist and bits of arcane gold explode from his hands. As the glitter hits you, you feel yourself lose consciousness. And as you lean back, you see the whole room goes dark, except for the sparkles, which suddenly begin to look like stars. You stay there for a minute, weirdly at ease. You are resting on some sort of invisible platform. You see below you and all around you, just endless stars and black space. Then you feel your consciousness begin to slip away from your body. Your physical body stays resting on the invisible platform and you begin to float

down until you slowly begin to form again a second body. First as a sort of spirit and then you feel whole and solid you become you again. You see above you though that your sleeping bodies are still there. You float down about 200 feet and when you land, once again, just on an invisible platform, just space all around you, but you see ahead of you a gathering of star dust. It's bright and sparkly and it takes your eyes a moment to adjust so that you could focus on it, and you realize that this is a galactic treasure horde. Individual spheres and cubes that shine like stars sitting on a bed of star dust, the stars behind it,

form a constellation that looks like a dragon. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. How could we possibly fight this beautiful beast? Fucking seven from moonshine. 18, 11, nine. Hard one, you are first. You see this constellation over this horde of star dust treasure. You do not see a coin in there.

You'd need to use an action or a bonus action to find the coin and if you did it might provoke something. It is up to you how you proceed. Let me know what you do. I'm gonna hold the reaction. Hard one kind of just stands there staring at the infinite space and the honestly pretty rad dragon constellation. That is Mavis's turn. I guess I'll hold my action as well. Well you guys just too too gross standing there looking at Star scared. No shame and just getting ready. I'm so fuck I'm not scared. It's a thing. Just ready. Bev that is your turn. I think Bev's got to pull a billbo. Hell yeah. As a nimble small creature I am going to try Okay, Bev, that is your turn. I think Bev's got to pull a Bilbo.

Hell yeah. As an nimble, small creature, I am going to try and approach without being seen. And if I get seen, I will play it by ear from there, but I'm going to stealth up. Sweet, I'm going to go ahead and make a stealth check. That's a tin? Nope, that's a nine. You begin approaching the horde of star dust, treasure, and you see, of course, the dragon

constellation comes to life. You see the stars all connect with this crazy red energy and the dragon forms, leans down over its horde and breathes star fire onto you, this red energy. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Okay. 17, that is going to fail. What? What?

Yikes. We'll do the fire damage first. To the star fire. The star fire is half fire and half radiant. Am I not resistant to radiant too? No. Okay. So it would have been 30 fire damage.

It said it'll just be 15. Okay. 34 radiant damage. Bev stands his ground and just like lets the fire breathe past him and just takes it and says, So this is the power of the cosmos. Well actually, it's only the power of this cosmos. Cosmo the void dragon, how are you?

Oh my God. I mean, bear with me, Toggle, please meet you. Still trying to kill you. You're gonna have to try harder than that, my friend. Okay, that is Moonshine's turn. Okay, I'm gonna cast Pass Without Trace on all of us. Ooh. And then, I'm going to dispatch Handy Andy. Oh nice.

Okay, Handy Andy goes forward into the Stardust. I'm going to give me a stealth check for Handy Andy. Does he get my Pass Without Trace? Yes. 31. 31 stealth check. Does he get my pass without trace? Yes. 31. 31 self-check. You see this dragon is focused on Beverly. And Handy Andy sneaks into the star pile.

You don't have dead eyes. I think, though, so you kind of don't know what's going on. I will let you do perception checks or insight checks as Handy Andy goes into the star pile what's going on. I will let you do perception checks or insight checks as handy handy as handy Andy goes into the star pile go ahead and give me a perception check. I'm gonna say without the eye handy Andy has not good perception. What do I add to it? Minus two. Eight. Handy Andy shuffles three you see him disappear into the star pile. At the end of your turn, going to use a legendary action to make a tail attack onto Beverly.

Mm-hmm. That's a 25 to hit. Oh, that'll hit 19 damage. Okay, are you guys doing anything with your held reactions? Yeah, yeah. I'll do something with my held reaction. OK.

I'll try to sneak into the pile with Andy. OK. Yeah, I'm just going to try to crawl in there. Just like, and Andy, and he copper. OK, so while everybody is, while the void dragon is fighting Beverly, you're going to kind of just run and dive into the star pile. Go ahead and make a stealth check.

28. You see uh, this beast turns around to whip its tail at Beverly and in that moment you run forward and dive into uh, the pile of star dust treasure. Um, you see all bright, sparkling orbs around you. Uh, go ahead and make a perception check. There is a lot in here. You're sweet, you're scrooge, McDucking, trying to find a piece of copper in here. A needle in a haystack. A copper in a cosmo.

I did worse than handy, I got a seven. Okay, but hard one, as you... Wait, no, I got an 11. 11, okay, as you look through it, that's nice. It is going to get, it is very hard to find on first a look, but it will get a little bit easier every time you guys use an action to look.

And I am Scrooge McDuckian here, right? Yes, I'm doing the backstroke. Show me your backstroke. Your back bone butt is sticking out. How many orbs are in your mouth that you're like spitting out in a fountain? Oh yeah, that's what I'm like doing the backstroke, which is sort of turning my head, filling up,

spitting out. Beverly's like side-eyeing this while he's talking to the dragon on fire. Yes, I am your foe. It is going to use another legendary action to tail attack Beverly. That's 27 hits, 21 damage. Okay, Maveris, what do you wanna do with your action?

I feel like I've dealt with people like this before. I think Maveris is gonna go up and knows that you're trying to look and you're around as well. And Hany Andy's doing this thing, and cast suggestion on the dragon. Okay. And say, please debate me, sir.

I have some theories on the cosmos. I'd like to discuss. We'll do a saving throw. That's an 18. 17. You see, he goes, you shouldn't even be able to speak in space. Star Wars was completely unrealistic. You're the one talking. Whatever. This is a dragon, just kne just Neil deGrasse dies in. That is end of your turn. It's so cool. We'll make another tail attack against Beverly. It's a 29 to hit.

Whew. Wow. Ah! 19 damage. Okay, that is hard one's turn. Hard one, you're in the star pile. Cool, I'm gonna start doing the breaststroke and see if I can find anything close on my stomach.

Oh, sweet, make another Perception check. Cool. I'm gonna start doing the breaststroke and see if I can find anything full time I stomach. Sweet, make another perception check. 16. 16 does not do it but you make it a little bit easier. You continue to go through the pile. Um, thing is out of uh, Legend of Actions for now, Mavericks, that's your turn. I'm gonna use the staff of power and try to cast a hold monster. Okay. That's a fifth level spell. Sweet. You have to make a wisdom saving throw or a V paralyze for the duration.

Yeah, I might as well try. Okay. Okay, Cosmo the void dragon fails, but is going to use one of his legendary resistance of the day, so he starts debating you. And then he just changes it, and he goes, yeah, but what about before what you were saying about talking in space?

That was ridiculous. How can I even debate someone like that? What I was saying? Yeah, I wanna brought it up. You brought it up. No, I did it. In the distance, you hear, uh, eat my ass. You hear Ren fighting his own boy dragon.

Oh. Oh. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. It remains I had that dragon pile. I'm like, damn, Mike dropped.

Ah. And that was just one that debate with that closer. And that is, you win any fight when you tell someone to eat your ass. That is the dragon's turn. I'm just going to roll to see if it gets its breath weapon back and it does. It is going to go ahead and spit starfire onto our friends, Beverly and Maveris. Guys, go ahead and give me dexterity saving throws. Maveris, don't forget to add four to that since you're up by me.

Mavericks is the fire. We're a debate team now. Oh! The big king, Nat 20! Nice to take half. I had a 13. You still take half on a Nat 20? Certainly.

Yikes. Okay. Roodle, they should change. Yeah, They're really should. That's so brutal. Let's just let me have it. I said gambler. Nat 20 should always give you something special. A little sauce. Yeah. You want a special fire damage is 36. So that's 18 for Anybody who has resistance. Okay. Um, and then you take nine because you are you're only taking half resistance. Okay. And then you take nine because you're only taking half, Bev. Okay.

And then an additional 37 radiant damage. Oh. So nine plus 37? Yes, 46. Oh, I'm down. You guys see Beverly goes down. That is...

You bait me. Bev's turn. Bev go ahead and give me a death saving throw. Alright. Cool way to follow up a Nat 20. Nat 20? Another Nat 20? Shout out to the two crew.

Bev has one fail. Nat 20 to a death save. How often does that happen? She should never happen wizards. At the end of Bev's turn, it's going gonna come forward and do a tail attack on Maris. Ooh, I don't know what your AC is, but he only got a 16 to head. 17.

My DAW is 17, jump out of the way, natural four. Yeah, strong size, ah. That is Moonshine's turn. I'm gonna do a fifth level cure wounds on Beverly. Oh, sweet. Some run over him, that's gonna be one. Spryddle. I got four ones on that.

Jesus. These dice are poison. 20. Hey, you got me another turn, that's all I need. Yeah. I'm so sorry, the dragon has to just swing his tail down on you. Oh, that's 26 to hit. God damn it. Oh my god. It's probably not gonna do 20 damage hard run keeps woman Does 17 damage okay? I'm sorry at three no, no, no, I'll bring you back up

I will bring you back up if anything you are a beautiful fucking distraction Fine the coin you can do you can do a perception check with handy Andy to if you'd like moochine. Oh Perception check for handy Andy too if you'd like Moonshine. Oh perception check for handy Andy. Yeah Five okay, so you got to beat a 10 to take the DC down So handy Andy hasn't been super helpful in there That is Back around a hard one. Okay. I am going to Keep on swimming and try to try to find some coffee.

Sweet. That is a 13. 13. Okay, hard one, you are making headway through the pile of stars. Why not use my action search to look again? Yes! Do a little flip turn on the back of the pool and keep on swimming. Sweet, go ahead.

That's a 10 though. That's a 10? Okay, goes down again. That is, and here turn, it's gonna swing it Beverly. 26 to hit. Okay, that goes down again. It's like, it's a 10. I'll bring you back in a real way next time.

I'll bring you back in a way that does not depend on rolls. Maverick, that is your turn. Just because I'm worried that he'll fuck up Bev's death saves, I'm going to all cast a Thunderstep, which is like Misty Step, but I can bring someone with me. Oh. And it's third level spell.

That's fucking rad. Each creature within 10 feet from the space you left has to make a constitution saving throw, or they'll take 3D10, thunder damage on his failed save. Okay, nice. So it would be moonshine, and with the void dragon, because she cured the spell. I'm fine.

I can take 3D10, I'll be fine. Okay, sweet. And then I'll just like go as far back as I can. Sweet. So you grab Bev I'll just like go as far back as I can. Sweet. So you grab Bev with a streak of lightning, you disappear back into space. So I do con save? Yes, con save.

He got a 21. 22. Sweet, so you just take half. Only seven, half. Okay, so it takes four. Yeah. How does it look? Yikes.

Looks completely healthy. Weird. Damn. That is the dragon's turn. The dragon is going to roll. See if it gets its breath weapon back. Does not. So it is just going to go in on moonshine.

Bring it on, come on. First takes a bite attack, 27 to hit that's gonna do it. So first 10 cold damage and 20 piercing damage. You feel the cold bite of space. I love space. Then takes two claw attacks at you. Oh, shout out to the three Cree, that's only 15 to hit. Mrs. Natural Four misses on that attack.

That is Bev's turn, Bev go ahead and give me a death saving. Oh, gladly. Is it 10? Does that pass us? Oh, nice. Great. Move on, move on, that's your turn. I'll run back and I cast my sixth level heal, which gives Bev 70 hit points.

Yo! That's nice. That's a hearty baby boy. Oh look, you know, I just love you, I believe in you. And so that's what's happening. I lost the debate. Yeah, but you won the fucking war dude. Thanks Moonshine.

I'm gonna let you down again. So you guys are pretty far away now. This dude can't move as a legendary action, but he does have detect as a legendary action. So he's gonna look down into Starpile for old Scrooge McDock here. Doesn't know that he's here, but smells something like the other. He's handy and he's handy and there.

Yeah, go ahead and give me stealth checks for handy Andy and for you. You still have pass without trace. 31. And you're so deep in there. Doesn't, doesn't notice you. Yeah, I'm trying to touch the bottom. Yeah, I figure he has the copper all the way at the bottom. Uh, that is hard one, Stern.

Okay, I'm at the bottom of the pool looking for copper. Come on, you little fucker. 19. 19 does not do it. Okay, I'm at the bottom of the pool looking for copper. Come on, you little fucker. 19. 19 does not do it. Fuckin' go on! One, one! One, one!

You take the DC down by two this time. Ah, it's Whittlin'. It's Whittlin'. Gonna use another legendary action to see if it can detect anything in its pile. Natural three, beat that. hard one with your stealth. I think physically with this pass of the trace you cannot be found right now.

Yeah, I mean, I'd say 30. Hard one so deep into the star bile. I can't find the bottom. That is, ever since turn. I try to just sneak into the bile. Cool, so you would need to do like an action to hide again. If you want to go into the pile at this point, you just need to like run forward

because you're in combat. There's new Cs where you are. Oh, this is just want to go like inspect it. Okay, sweet. You go dive into the pile. Go ahead and give me a perception or investigate check. 12. 12. 12.

Take the DC down. Take the DC down by one. You dive into this pile. It is going to use this legendary action to do a tail attack on you. 28 to hit. That's gonna hit. 23 damage to Maveris.

That is Dragon's turn. On the Dragon's turn, it's going to use Gravitic Breath into its own star pile into its own horde here. I'm going to need, oh no, hard one and Maveris to do dexterity saving throws. Okay.

19 for Maveris. do dexterity saving throws. Okay. 19 for Maveris. 10 for hard one. You guys see the dragon breathes into the star pile and the horde begins to separate. It will now be easier to find the coin in there. But with it, hard one and Maveris are like pulled out of it and you guys are restrained, suspended in the air. That is Bev's turn.

Okay, so I'm going to do is a bonus action. Go ahead and use my amulet to get up another 34 points. Let's me at 104. And I think I'm going to try and like keep drawing the dragon's attention, whether that is a foolhardy plan or not. I'm not quite sure, but I say to the dragon, you aim to have a knowledge of the entire cosmos. I pose a question to you. A challenge, if you will. A debate's challenge. What is that good, sir? If you have an infinite knowledge of the cosmos, surely you could pick out a single piece

of copper, a single element of copper within the grandness of this entire plane. Um, go ahead and give me a deception check. Cool. Can I do persuasion? No, it would be deception. You're trying to deceive this dude? No, it would be deception. You try to see disdute. Oh Please let me deceive. I'm gonna say you will need to it would need to be insane. Okay Is 17 insane? That's crazy. You're gonna 17. That's gotta be the wildest one. Oh my god

All right, can I get can I just attack him then? That's sweet. You start to, you start to like pose a riddle for him and then you just run forward and swing your sword. Here's the answer you didn't conceive. Eat my dick. I'm gonna make it that nice. Nice.

I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

I'm getting it. Alright, let's see. He's using radiant damage. I don't think that's going to do much. So let me go and roll attack first. Ooh, does 16 hit? Does not. Yikes. Okay, 29 will let though. That does. I'm just going to do my normal radiant damage. Sweet. So that's gonna be 18 damage.

Okay, hopefully I just keep him distracted. That's kind of my aim here. Sweet, you start going toe-to-toe with this magic star dragon. He was a fucking lame-o. That is, at the end of his turn, I close a theory. I ban you from the subreddit. Swings is tail at you, is gonna hit. That is 19 damage.

Okay. And that is moonshine's turn. All the days do not stock locate objects. I've got locate object, but we couldn't just locate one piece of copper, could we? If we've got copper on our bag, why couldn't we just use it to mimic that? Cool then! I cast Locate Object on F**king Copper. So that candy antie can get in there and f**king get some copper.

So you cast Locate Object, Moonshine, you get a ping. You see amongst all of the stars and the star dust, you see light reflecting off of this piece of copper. It's very hard to see it first because it's shining with all the star light. But you see that there it is right there. It's like a few feet under a hard one. Hard one was like swimming for it and it was close.

But he's restrained there. Hard one, you like see it now. I found it for you, Mochine, right there. Thank you so much, Harwan. You got it. Everyone, hey, go where Harwan pointed. What a hero. Wow.

My new Elven Eyes. Ha, ha, ha. A true Hound Dog. This thing is going to take a legendary action, swing down on, let's say's say, hard one right now. Here's what I'm talking about, his, uh, treasure reward, uh, it's gonna hit. Bring it on, come on. 15 damage, and then that is hard one's turn.

Um, okay. So you can repeat the saving throw at the end of your turn to try to get out of being restrained, because you were in this gravity force field right now. Got it. But you can attack with disadvantage. I would even let you reach for the coin with disadvantage. I'll just pretend I feel like I'm gonna protect the coin. I did all the work finding it after all.

I'm gonna be pointing right at it. There, there. I'll attack with this advantage. Sweet. Nice. 19? Not gonna do it. Oh.

What? Whoa. It is made of stars. Okay, but I got three attacks. I'll attack two more times. Two more times gone. Why? Well, I'll have to use that 17.

And another 19, closer out. Like this winging so slow. pretty good. I'll think forcing yourself I guess the grab me that's a fucking great. It's a it's a great workout. Okay, how about this? Oh, I pose a pose a question. Will you eat my ass? Nice nice. Will you eat my ass? What's my save is a deck save to get out? It is a deck saved to get out, yeah. Okay, that is a 19. You do not get out.

I'm a shot, you're starting to get out. I honestly think though, like the work that you just did got you a little closer to Chris Hemsworth. Oh, so little further from Liam, a little closer to Chris. That's all I love, all I've ever wanted. Tail swings down at your head. Before the tail swings, when I was struggling to get out,

can I at least say that I pulled my pants down to my ankles? Yeah, sure. Tail goes at your ass. I was spreading my ass. Jeez. This dragon hits hole for 21 damage. I shouldn't have exposed Such a sensitive part of my body was really honestly pretty sick

Ever since your turn I Can still cast spells right you can yeah, I'm gonna cast Magehand to grab the coin and give it to moonshine because you seem like the I'm restrained Okay, so you grab you toss it to moonshine go you seem like the I'm restrained. Oh shit. Okay, so you grab you toss it to moonshine. Go ahead and I'll say you can do either athletics, like acrobatics or arcana, to see how well you can throw it. Ooh, that's a 22. 22, yeah, you grab the copper, throw it right to moonshine, this void dragon roars. No, that's part of my collection.

What, what is it? What is it? Your collection? Yeah. What if I gave you a copper out of my pocket? No, it's not that one, no it's special. I'm moonshine, you catch the copper. What happens is it over? Said you needed to bring it back, you look up, That one, that one, that one's special. I'm gonna try to catch the copper.

What happens is it over? Said you needed to bring it back. You look up, all your bodies are 200 feet in space. How do you wake up? Oh, you can do your dexterity saving throw to see if you get out of being restrained. Yeah, and that's a now one. So, it's not gonna do it, believe it or not. Gonna roll, see if it gets it's,

breath back it doesn't, the gravity stays. So you guys are still stuck there. It is going to, I guess charge forward at Moon Shine because she's got the coin now. So first one is a claw attack, shout out to the three cremises. Next one is, next claw attack is definitely gonna hit four, 19 damage, and then takes a bite attack, 23 to hits, 16 damage on the bite.

That is Bev's turn. Oh Bev, it actually takes an opportunity attack from you as it runs out in Moonshine. Ooh, oh really? Awesome. Yeah. I will take it. Sweet. I don't take it very well. 13? I miss.

It hits off its starry scales. But as a relentless Avenger, I do get half of my speed as part of the same reaction. Sweet. So you run back towards Moonshine? Absolutely. Follow the void dragon that is your turn. It's my turn now. OK, so Moonshine has the coin. I don't think I can do anything to help us get up there.

Do I, can I do a quick perception check as I'm running like an insight check? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Goddammit. I'm rolling. Really poorly today. There's a five.

Right now, you're a little bit too frazzled to think to in depth about it, but you just remember Lucana saying, steal the coin and bring it back here. And you look up and you see your body still up there 200 feet above you. All right, well I'm gonna turn and face the dragon then and hope that Moon Shining can figure this out.

Okay, and I say, I pause it one more question to you. Yes, if the universe is comprised of the dust from the big bang from the initial implosion and explosion, then truly, which are copper coin not be comprised of the same dust as everything and therefore one copper coin would have the same values and other. Rears up to take a tail attack at you. I slice him right in the ass. No, my ass. All right, I'm gonna go all out on this one because I can smite now because I don't think I've taken a bonus action or anything.

Okay. 19. Does not hit. Ugh. All right, 20. Does not hit. Jesus. Okay.

All right, takes a tail attack at you. 23 to heads. Cool. 12 damage. That is Moonshine's turn. I would like to cast a fifth level contagion, and I would like to afflict this creature with a little something called blinding sickness.

Pain grips the creature's mind in its eyes, turn milky white. The creature has disadvantage on wisdom checks and wisdom saving throws throws and is blinded. What kind of saving throws you need to do? It's gonna be a melee spell attack. Okay, go ahead and make a spell attack. I know that Moonshine is casting this on the dragon, but if he does go blind, can we please say that it happened when he looked into the deep dark black discipline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How's the 27 gonna sit? Oh. 27 is going to work and to the spell attack.

Yeah. He can't use his luscious resistance. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This dragon goes blind. Yeah. No, I have an ancient beast. I can no longer admire the cosmos.

This is the worst fate. You got a black eye from your telescope. Truly, you were the worst person I've ever met. She has stared that long into a black hole, brother. He made me come blind forever. I was just gonna swing down on you with disadvantage, the claws, just like screeching and yelling.

Oh boy, 17. Don't hit. Misses, as a legendary action, hard one that's back up to you. I'm still suspended. You're away from everything, away from the coin. You know what I'll let you do? If you would like to use an action to do an insight check.

That's what I'll do. I'll put my head on a swivel. Sweet. It's 24. 24 Jesus. He had me suspended in an angle that was really beneficial to me. Hard one, you are restrained here by this gravity.

And you start focusing, trying to figure out how you can get out of it. You realize that as you kind of take a moment and meditate and use your mind that you begin to cover a little bit. You begin to almost like levitate. It's a lucid drink. I clock this.

At the end of your turn, go ahead and try to get out of being restrained. Come on baby. 12. 12. It's not gonna do it. That is, Maverick's turn. Having seen what Hard One did,

I'll just try to make an intelligence. 17. Disarrows. A 17 is going to let you move your movement with flight. Okay. So, you know what? Let me go ahead and roll to get out of being restrained, and I'll let you use either intelligence or dexterity.

No. We got an eight. Eight. Okay. You're still kind of stuck there. That is Dragon's turn. The dragon is going to roll Dragon gets his breath weapon back but technically

When it's breath is he gonna fire it exactly when his breath weapon comes back the Gravity beam kind of gets the energy gets sucked back into him and you guys are free But finally it's going to spill and you guys are free. But, he is going. Finally, I broke the spell. He is going to breathe his weapon down on Beverly and Moonshine. So guys, go ahead and give me Dexterity saving throws.

Yeah. 13. 18. Nice. 18. Fails. It really sucks when an 18 fails. Yeah.

Bev, you take half of the fire damage. So you only take 15 fire damage. Great. Moonshine, you take 30 fire damage, and then you both take 31 radiant damage. I'm down. Oh! Moonshine goes down.

You see the coin flaps down onto the invisible platform down here. That is Bev's turn. Okay, off it. It is blindness over now, because it doesn't take concentration for me to cast contagion. If it says it's just a disease that he has now,

he's just blind. Okay, so with one hand, I'm going to touch hands, moonshine, sweet. For, I think, you know what, I'm gonna go out for a full 50. Sweet. Whoa. Which one pops right back up?

What is that? Um, and then I put the coin into her mouth. Hold on to that. Hold on to that. Uh, and I say, think intelligent thoughts. Uh, I always say, thanks. And I guess we both just try and float. So you go ahead and make an intelligence check.

Cool. I think about the cosmos and its implications. As this big nerd just roars, just completely, just screaming, debate me. That's probably not great. 13. 13 is gonna let you do half your movement, but you, with the Eppyskippy,

so you'll get to go up 25 feet. Can we say that I'm dragging moonshine with me too? Oh, interesting. Yeah, why not? This is wacky crazy balls. Yeah. You're Mary Poppins. Don't even hear me.

And you're bringing somebody with you. That was a little slow. That was just from Tom Joel's shirt. Just repaying the favor. So chill. Does this dude ever stop being blind? What is the, what is the, what is the,

I can tell you, okay, so at the end of each of this target's turn, it must make a constitution saving throw. After succeeding on three of these saving throws the creature recovery. Okay, so he needs to succeed. So he basically has to succeed three times. Okay, so he had one turn being blind swinging at you, so he's going to do one save.

He does pass once. Is there an eye wash station down here? He's just shoving stars in his face, trying to save himself. That is Moonshine Stern. Moonshine, you are popped up. You are with Bev. I can take a full disengage, right? I can't, can I turn into an animal and then disengage? Sure, yeah. So I'm going to turn into a Paragram Falcon and disengage. Okay, sweet. So you start flying up. You don't even need to use intelligence.

Yeah. How many, with a dash action? How many? It says that their fly speed from what I saw on the internet is 90 feet. So you get fucking 180 feet up. Moonshine. Bye, Beto.

You nice. You fly up as a falcon. You have to kind of leave Bev behind because you can't really carry him with you. You get up and you rejoin your body and you wake up and you are in the great hall again with a coin. You look around and your friends are still knocked out. They're still out. That is hard one. this thing is going to start, it's gonna use a legendary action

at the end of Moonshine's turn, start sniffing the air, looking for people, because I can't see anyone. Use this detect, rolls with disadvantage. This is so slow. It does, okay, Bev, you see, he looks right up at you. Can't do an attack or anything, but like sees you starting to fly.

Doesn't even see you starting to fly away, like anything but like sees you starting to fly. It doesn't even see you starting to fly away like smells you and senses you starting to fly away. I'm definitely the most distinctive odor here. I can smell in space. That makes sense. That is hard one's turn. Hard one you are free. I'm free. You're free. And since I know this is a lucid dream and I'm just gonna try to fly can I pretend that I'm a paracorn falcon too? Right on, go ahead and make an intelligence check. I'm not smart. Minus one, then 11.

11, you can move half your movement. And if you do a full dash action, so basically you just move your movement once. Cool. 30 feet in the air. That is... Ma, never cease turn. I'll do the same. I'll just make an intelligence check. Sweet.

Not one on that. Oh no. You are stuck there. You can't really move. That is the dragon's turn. The dragon has sense where Beverly is, is going to fly up and try to claw our boy. He still rolls with disadvantage as he attacks you. He misses on the first attack, second attack, natural 4.

He misses, third attack, fuck. 17 misses. Bigly knows where you are, but it's still swinging wildly. Bev, that's your turn. Let's say counterpoint, shut up. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

I wanna use my intelligence, AKA imagination, sure, to transform into the Yippee-Skippy boat. Hell yeah. Ooh. Ooh, 17. 17, that's your movement, yeah. Cool, all right, so with a full dash, I'm, you can do 100 feet.

Yeah, so what? That puts me at 125? That's a cigarette boat, baby. Yeah. Hey, what up? It's just got my face stretched across the floor. It doesn't look good. I believe you're 70 feet from the end of it.

Oh, the dragon also gets to do a saving throw to try to get out of being blinded. That's a natural seven, but it's gone as far as possible. But it's 16, so it still fails. Jeez, okay, so that's a fail. That's a one more fail, and he's fully blind for fucking seven days. Wait, so do this to me.

Are you scared? Are you so scared? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no finished. I'm just going to believe Beverly has taken the most damage so I'm just gonna cast like cure wounds on my unconscious friend Beverly. That's gonna be 10. Cool. Bev, as Moonshine interacts with your real body up on the mortal plane. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. So that's gonna be 16. Mochine, you see as you heal him just like, he just seems very at ease at rest.

That is hard once turned. I'll just keep on swimming for the surface. Sweet, go ahead and make an italic check. Get in the boat. keep on swimming for the surface. Sweet, go ahead and make an intelligence check. Get in the boat. I'm swimming for the cigarette boat. I fell out of the inner tube. No! Intelligence?

Yeah. Nine. Nine, you're stuck there. That is, the average is turn. Just gonna do the same. You got a two, shout out to the two crew. No! Oh, welcome. Thank you, shout out to the two crew. Oh, welcome.

Thank you, stuff nice to be here. At the end of your turn, we'll try to detect and see if he can see if anybody's around. Is not able to detect you, is just going to kind of hold its action and see if he can find any of you in the charge of you. That's Bev's turn. Bev, you're 70 feet away.

If you can move your speed, if you get a good enough intelligence check, you'll be able to get out of there. How close are hard one and mevres? Vavres hasn't really moved, I don't think. I want to. What? Okay.

There are about 175 feet down. You're just like free where you have where you're like, I can fly, but then you like can't, you're still like kind of jump a lot. I can only get back to them with my full dash. I don't know if I want to do that. Okay, I guess I'll just pierce through the veil of reality. Are you all okay with that?

I like, rapport sports or hard ones. Like, I can come back for you. Take that fucking cigarette, boat up to 11, baby. I'll get out of here eventually. Hell or take the wheel. This blindass dragon can't find me in mav. Go ahead and make an intelligence check.

All right, I bite my teeth at mav. You do, too. I smell it. This is the top gun, Iceland. 13. 13. Cool, you can move half your movement. So you get 50.

So you're 50. 20 feet away. Oh, so close. I need to be. That is, much I've started. Moonshine, you are up with your- Can I put on whip, babe, up to me? You can attack his body and try to wake him up,

but you are in the real world. You're not in space anymore. You don't see this. So healing him, dude, and bring him back. No. Try the opposite. All right, I'm going to throw my face dead by now. You don't see him doing bring him back. No Try the opposite. All right, I'm gonna Okay, so you are gonna whip it bebs unconscious body. I'm not even gonna make you roll for it You whip in a bev bev go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw with advantage. Okay Two eights

That's going to be a 12. Okay, I'm Beth stay sleeping. You're just whipping the stairs. Oh, I just went from healing you to whipping you. I'm just enjoying being a boat so much. I don't want to wake up. It's hard when that's your turn. Okay, I'm I'm swing I guess I'm gonna keep on so intelligence check Not 20 baby there we go dude you can move you can move twice your movement so you can dash Wow twice essentially. Oh, so I can so is that in the dash 60 My best you can move 120 great. I will I'll do that So you can move 120. Great. I'll do that.

Maverick, you watch hard one. Rocket. Sick. Right. Am I, I'm not bursting out yet, right? No, I think you're still like 50 feet away. Okay, well, because before I burst out, I want to pee onto the dragon.

Ha ha ha ha. So I guess I'll just take my, I'll, I'll take my penis out. Okay, got it. And I'll get ready. You know, I just give you the legendary action. You know the sense where the piss is coming from. I've just started pissing you. Okay, hey, hey.

And Jim, no, no. Just penis out. Just penis out. Yeah, I did. In full space. That is a mattressace turn. Major shrinkage. I'm gonna just keep rolling.

Three. I brought a one and a two and then a three on the floor. You're fucking champion stays put. At the end of your turn. I'm gonna just keep rolling. Three, I wrote a one and a two and then a three on these calls. Here's how champion stays put. At the end of your turn, one more time is going to try to find the general area that you might be in. That's a natural 18. He does, he's able to find you.

Okay, so he makes his first attack with disadvantage. That is a natural one on the lower one. He misses. That's another fucking natural one. He misses. That's 16 on the third one. 17 is my ace. He misses all three times.

He hates it. He's gonna roll to try to get out of being blind. That's a 27. That'll save. That's another save for him. That's a 27. That'll save. That's another save for him. That's two save and one fail. That's two save and one fail. Bev, that's your turn.

All right. Bev, you need the most minimal intelligence check to be able to get out. That doesn't want to get out. Bev likes his new life as a boat. That's a net 20. Hell yeah dude. You burst out, you rejoin your body, you come back to the real world and you can still

use an action. Your movement got you up there. Oh, alright. Boah! I burst out and then I am going to whip out the elixwip that we got from the Feywild hell yeah and trying to with both Mavras and hard one at the same time. Okay sweet. Well, yeah, you have to attack so you can just do one on one and one on the other one So you you do it. They're they're fucking unconscious guys. Go ahead make wisdom saving throws with advantage 19 oh

Mavras you Wake up hard one. You see maveris disappears below you you get You wake up with super hard and just wake up in real life I'm just like choking hard one what did you get? I rolled a shout out to the two crew and 12 Okay, I imagine I don't save. I'm just gonna start peeing now, because now that I've seen Maverick, he's start pissing.

He's like, I disappear, I feel like I don't have a lot of time left. I can just appear in any second, so I'm just gonna try to peel the dragon. And this dragon Maverick is up. That is Moonshend Stern, you can try to like card one up. I guess I'm gonna cast Long Strider on Hard One so you can do a little faster.

Sure, you guys Long Strider on Hard One. He looks like a super fast unconscious man. That is the Dragon's turn. Fire's touching. I'm here with his unconscious body. The Dragon is going to hold its reaction to try to find where the piss is coming from. I shouldn't have said it. And he's going to try to find where the piss is coming

He's going to try to get out of being blind Let's see if the piss in his eyes helps unblind him He gets a 19 constitution. That saves. Okay, a hard one. You see your fists clears the vision of this dragon. Who then you are super far up there. You're 50 feet from the top, right? Yeah.

This thing cannot get 150 feet to you. So it is, actually you can with a dash action. So it is going to fly 160 feet. I still have feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants.

I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants.

I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. I've got feet in the back of my pants. That is Bev's turn. Okay, I look at moonshine and Maverick and say, everyone, we have to beat the shit out of our friend. You think so? I pull out the whip, but I just whale. I'm gonna make a wish.

Just slap a hard one. You're just like this deep sleep. Do it one, not one. Oh God. And, I had nothing of wisdom. 16. One net one. Oh God. And Nothing of wisdom 16 does not do it on Dragon whips its tail at your penis. No, it's in the pants now. We'll say oh shit. He got a net swat me his crit on my dick This dragon's logic is impeccable. 19 damage to your crotch. Jesus. That is moonshine

Stern. All right. I just fucking beat it. I think Rosalina, but I fucking go after her. This is what it's for. Can we just slap her? I really. Yeah. I fucking chill, touch her. I chill. Hard one. Go ahead and make wisdom saving throw with advantage. Fucking chill, Taja. Our chill, Taja. Hard one, go ahead and make wisdom saving throw with advantage. That's four and a 10. Four and a 10, so I can do it. Oh my god.

Go ahead and take another tail attack as a legendary action. Misses on that one, hard one, use your intelligence and float up a little bit. Tail swings out underneath you. That is your turn. I'm going to make an intelligence check to fly away from this dragon. That is your turn. I'm going to make an intelligence check to fly away from this dragon. That is a 18.

18, hard one, you may use your movement. You are able to fly away and escape. You rejoin your body. You come back to life, your friends are kicking the shit out of you. Come on, you haven't seen any of this other stuff. You don't know the logic behind what's going on You just wake up in this great hall moonshine is hitting you with a chilled touch and Mavericks and beverage just like beating the shit out of you Mavericks get his temples

I get the temples to the one, you do the right. Okay, cool it. Cool it. Cool it. Yes, all. Okay. Hi, you guys all. Regain consciousness.

The most sensitive part. You guys all regain consciousness. You're all in the great hall again. You look around you and you see your opponents for the final round, the final four of tournament, a Dimejai. What? The tournament Dimejai.

Mage madness. Mage madness, thank you. For real, thank you. You see. You're humiliating me. Yeah, for real. For real. Thank you. You see the royal elves of Gladehome, Ren and his crew. You see the little gnome woman with her Templar clockworks. And you see the shady guys that you would clocked when you first came in, the kind of shadow night looking guys with like black armor,

and then the dude wearing the black cloak and the mask, and everybody go ahead and give me an insight check. Matt 20. Matt 20? Yeah. Hard one. Matt 20? Yeah. Hard one. It hits you. You saw it before.

The gnome was wearing a gold necklace with a gold sword on it. That's the symbol of the chosen. Oh no. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh, fuck me, man. Wow. I thought we had a rehabilitator. You know, we were there hot, right?

She was trying to fuck that out. I'm standing by. I think I can turn her. Thank you guys so much for listening. We got a bunch of things to plug. First off, check out our after show, patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, POD, don't sing yet. Please don't sing yet.

You can listen to the short rest, our after show. Thank you again to our guest, Zach Ouyama. We'll be back again next week. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Do you again to our guest, Zach O'Yama. We'll be back again next week. Thank you for having me. Do you have anything to plug, Zach? I will just plug Dimension 20. Oh, yeah, thanks. Yeah.

Our new season, Unsleeping Cities. Very fun with Brennan Lee Mulligan. Shevon Thompson, a bunch of our other friends from college humor in the life. Zach O'Yama as Ricky Matsui. Ricky Matsui. Mr. March. Yeah, that's right. Nice to march. Guysoyama as Ricky Matsui. Ricky Matsui. Mr. March. Yeah, that's right.

Nice to march. Guys, you can see us live. We have a bunch of shows coming up. September 10th, we will be in Atlanta. September 11th, we'll be in Philly. September 12th, we'll be in New York. September 13th, we'll be in Boston. And that's a two-critz.

That's a two-critz. Wow, incredible. September. September 14th. We will be in Khritzberg, baby. September of the dome. September 14th. We will be in Chrisburg, baby. Pittsburgh. I can get tickets at nadpod.com slash live.

Call the oldie. I'm gonna plug. Ooh, this week, I'm just going to go and plug the PO box again, 1920 Hill or seven. A new number two, two, two, two, Los Files, California, nine zero, zero, two, seven. Oh, yeah. I memorized those numbers. I might as well use them. Hell yeah. Really impressive. Jake, what do you got to plug?

I'll go, I'm going out my beard again. So I'll go family beard oil business this week. Brother sister beard oil, check it out, Google us. Sweet. Guys, and you can follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME, at call these call the, at the extra Emily at CHMRIF, which is Jake, and at Zach Oyama is me, at Call of Duty's Caldwell, at the Extra Demole, at Shake her, which is Jake, and at Zach O'Yama, is Zach O'Yama. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag, The use of the nation.

It's the end of the episode, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Yes, yes, yes. We love you. Starting with Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven, also the only pebble pot that can eat anything spicier than a bell pepper and not have to go to the hospital afterwards. J. Loma, 72, aka Steelbreaker, hard one's gym inspiration, currently working with hard one on a new bulking diet called Half Elf All Protein.

Dylan B, a sword wheeled and wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, after an unfortunate incident involving an angry B. Dylan has been banned from all of Bohumi's botanical gardens. Danny P, Bohumi's resident artist, painted hard ones senior portrait at the Dwarf and Edge. Has recently been doing edgy street art of Theala as a bird. Real thought-provoking stuff. Spencer Caskbrew, patronelder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumi alike,

made a farmhouse caeson so good that it made Malora put down her crick water. Beard man, Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohumi. Dan is an explorer who uses his beard like a whip. There are no Nazis in Bohumia. Thanks to Dan. Wow. Hermes, W the backking. Essay, Kitty's snub nose to bat. Hermes has a bit of a Napoleonic complex and rules with an iron wing. Batfax, Spartas of Arbarian Therapists. Spartas helps their clients work through their rage issues so they can tap into even more deadly and long-lasting rages.

Adam R. the R-rated assassin, despite the name, Adam mostly kills people with poison, however, they're snorting a lot of cocaine while doing so. Danielle, the dastardly damn Danielle is currently has maversous frisbee and has no intentions of giving it back. You see aka Aldor Fras back MVP of the giant wars crewed on the SS store more and far alongside Elias and red. He was the one who convinced Lydia to break up with Elias devastating. Ouch. It was necessary.

Daniel Hue aka multiple the many face magician. Half the faces tell the truth and the rest only lie. But all of them love the drama. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm. Jordan got their start as the college DJ for the Elven Academy but was quickly banned after playing kid coldball 30 times in a row. It's honestly not enough. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Pure, born of the sword, and owner of Zords.

That's right, Jeffrey has five magical dinosaur robots that combine into a giant fighting machine. Neat. Cutter W. High Elf, then he turned Crick Barcatech, was privately commissioned by Lulconis to build a stump inside his mansion tent. Aww, John S. AKA, Shubbert the Mushroom. Just a heads up, Shubbert's reports were recently hacked, so you might want to change the

password to your brain. Oh, okay. Ryan M., hard one's RAM, who was turned into a RAM Pire when hard one bit him, was recently reincarnated as a goat man, and is now gathering forces for their final battle against hard one. Yeah, fuck it, right. Elena C., a star spawn who survived the Wizard Tournament,

and was plotting to take revenge on the boobs, but was then unceremoniously eaten by Erdan's birds. Michael McD, head mixelges at the Blue Man in, knows the ancient secrets required to make a forbidden drink known as the oldest, sashined. The secret is two cherries. Don't muddle them. Andrew M, a Crick Alpha who exploited the regrowing leaves in the whisper wood, and is now the world's richest Crick.

They can now afford all the brown they could ever suck. Victor T. Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Luckily, Boundor was insured, and now Victor is loaded with crones, the official currency of early 20th century Austria. It's back, baby! Justin, I, a professor at the Magic Academy, who caused controversy by telling students

they should just ignore spell components unless it's narratively interesting to use them. Wow, Jacobsy, a Bohumian mushroom dealer whose psychedelic shrooms keep coming to life, which is adorable, but very impractical for business. Elena M. AKA Vanoid Dragon. Elena sits upon a massive hoard of pizzas and is the bane of delivery people across the globe.

Mick Pog, the amazing code master who programmed our website, also helped Lucana's finally install antivirus software on the thinking cap. Nice. Earl and Kathleen, L, a glade home, Elvis Cuppel who adopted a quick young and their home is now overflowing with love and also fire. Jive G, a car filled with worms in the real world, that's a problem in Bohumia though, that's a car spawn and it's your new best friend! Jostra, the Joc ostrich car spawn. Leader of the Academy's undefeated ultimate Frisbee team and the only other wizard that Maveris respects.

Daniel R, Ram Daniel's evil twin, currently plotting with Ryan the Rampire about the most humiliating way to kill hard one. Impossible. Jennifer V has a V even more vicious than cops to obtain such a magical core. Jennifer had to train for years in the field of abduration. Ooh, Destiny C. Carl's younger sibling who idolizes Carl and assumes that Carl must be the most popular student at the university.

Oh, keep dreaming, Destiny. Devin B. the bodega lord, despite not having an obvious kitchen, can make a breakfast sandwich appear out of nowhere. Sergio Salazar Solomon, Sarkarist, De Siquani, Seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns

on his skin. Sergio is famed for their erotic dances and taught Jens Lindell everything he knows. Amazing, Michael L. A networking executive who approached Boundor about turning into the bag with Boundnor into a late-night TV show Wow Sam age a lot of his dealer has never snorted arcane, but does enjoy grinding it over some pasta

Amy traylay the cray-fay who loves chambray Can't get enough of a tin and butt Honestly, Sam sure get it up of a tenon button. Honestly saying. Sure. Aaron G. Master of the Management Spell. The Bahumia Department of Waste Management has been trying to recruit them to deal with the little problem in lower gala later on.

Jury S. Aject wizard constantly reminding people that the brain is actually a muscle, so reading is like going to the gym. To true. AluCard, a reverse Dracula. Alucard also got reincarnated, Hedeson, Elf Half. Unfortunate, baby doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section.

And perform they did for a wrapped TV audience in the first ever live stream of a birth. Adam H, a dwarf whose hands are so strong they can crash bone, but they channel their gift into running a very successful massage parlour. Ryan, hard ones ram, also got a coin from Akra and considering finally using it to get revenge on hard one for eating them. No? No Ryan, I didn't do that. I fuck pregnant Elk, moonshine's Elk, baby. Big bug hopped on the leaf with cooter after Maveris left and it was cute

as heck. Richard X Machina introduced the Crick 2 Water Polo, or as the Cricks call it, Splashball. Try Mixie, Renn's ear nose and throat doctor who is working tirelessly to figure out why his laugh is so nasal. Cannibalistic Cthulhu sounds like a savage but the sad truth is they're just a deathly allergic to vegetables. Sam L. A card bard. That's right, they use their gift of poetry to make very moving greeting cards. Dom R. A clockwork assistant who is a dynamite assistant, but does loudly tick like a grandfather clock. It's very distracting.

Josh S. The revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, really powerful, but needs to be charged frequently and has a hard time connecting to Wi-Fi Blitzbrig Demetri owner of Dorgers Big Borgher try the goat man double patty with Ratji's curts and a shade mithril Caleb's dorm cup bear and chords great haul recently switched chord to stemless because chord kept spelling. Nicholas C has started every single movie ever made in Bohemia currently starting in Titanic, the heroine tale of one of the worst airship crashes

in history and all the titans that died in it. Mike H. the strongest pixie in all the fai wild once ripped a piece of paper in half after only three tries. Kevin S. the first boss went dork to add, I love you between fuck you and eat a rat. Matthew E. A star spawn who was disqualified from the wizard tournament because they tested positive for performance enhancing drugs star spawn. Star spawn.

Car spawn. Car spawn. Samuel B. A mysterious hooded figure who's been following the band of boobs since Esri terrifying Till for G author the hit children's book and movie Ulf car goes punch after years of silence just released a book called tillford goes punch about an author struggling with writers block It's honestly terrible that book terrible that book. That's jeez. Carpian of light, zack age, Bohumius only, keyblade

wielder, mostly uses it as a pizza cutter. Effective. Gotta seal the darkness one way or another. Curtis S. The leanest, meanest green teen, a skinny scout who's real quick to anger, probably because of their low blood sugar. Coln B. Absolutely devastated by star spawns elimination, it totally fuck with their fantasy wizard tournament team, Carspawn.

Star Spawn. Yen's Christian T, a trin influencer who travels all over Trinaville on Hashtag sponsored vacation. Jellis. Gage M, the last green teen left in Galatoran, heroically proved that you can have a jam Marine for one. Aaron C, Maveris' ultimate frisbee coach, who recruited Mavris, straight out of high school. Montana Monarch, a butterfly who rules with an iron fist.

Montana Monarch received the fist of power when looking for nectar in a flower one day and hasn't looked back since. L&D, the fiercest woman in Bohumia, somehow managed to grapple a star spawn even after it turned into a bunch of worms. DJM, the gnome barbarian. If you face off against them, Teehee is the last thing you will ever hear.

Terrifying. RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin can be used as an ATM, but would prefer you didn't. Taylor has aka, trash the traveler. What's their secret? Really expensive orthotics. Yo, me too. Anime intellect loves a good tournament of strength But wishes they could have learned the star spawns undoubtedly tragic backstory Car spawn two carspawn Solo dollo the first astronaut to step foot on the blood moon

Also the second astronaut to step foot on the blood moon sadly they fell on the third step So that's as far as they got. Joshua C, a super honorable paladin, who works for the chosen, but only because they fall asleep during all the meetings and have no idea what they're up to. Larissa J, master of the counterspell, hated by every type of Bohomian,

Richard Poor, bigger small. Dylan C.M, the wannabe DM, Dylan uses a soggy piece of driftwood as a DM screen and recently gave all of his players bed bugs. Just praying for a real screen, Dylan. Kelvin noodles the pasta elemental. You can summon Kelvin noodles by boiling some water, adding some whole wheat pasta, then cutting your hand and pouring four quarts of blood into it.

Practical. Be money. Bounor's hip hop alter ego. Be money is currently feuding with a chosen rapper who goes by the name, Barsitz, Ilsden. Oh, man. Andrew A, a good friend of Ambrose Montgomery who hid all of their money in Ambrose's walls. Whoops, sorry Andrew, that money is ours now.

Damn. Jay, Alon is the best bud in college. No one knows Jay's real name, but Jay is called Jay because they smoke mad Jay. Oh. Heartless master, heartless master is so powerful they can survive without a heart for three. Whole seconds. Oh, actually, nope, sorry they're dead.

C.C. Lulu, a famous pop star in Bahumia who once collaborated with Kid Cobald, P.O.D. and Snow Patrol in a song that critics called Confusing. Paul B. Ackarot's assistant, Paul was recently fired for not organizing Acroix's wine by alphabetical order. When we say fired, we of course mean shot with a fireball. Paul still has a job. Barnes and later, a well-respected happily who builds the best Barnes and Hill home.

Those suckers have enough room for the animals to roam and a sweet Bose sound system. Yasmin Ike, the Yasminian devil, a devil go getter who recently moved from the fifth layer of hell to the sixth, congrats, Yasmin. Keep climbing or descending. Eric G. an eladrin who recently blew off some steam by picking flowers. The realm may never recover from the troll war that ensued.

Jackalope Audity, the drummer for Pendor Green's favorite new metal band, Ratnuts. Zach' favorite new metal band Ratnuts. Zach C. the singer of Ratnuts, who was recently imprisoned by Pendergreens so he could stay to him while he plays the Xbox. Aiden R, the only person in Bohemia without a tragic backstory, just a solid happy person. Congrats Aiden! Killin' it. Jeremy R, the bartending assassin for the SS Stormborn. You're dead before the mango margarita even

hits your lips. Oh, L.E.K., secretly in love with Maverick's roommate Carl isn't all that attracted to him, but he's just so solid. He's always there. So solid. So solid. Luke H has been described around Gladehome as being nearly as solid as Carl. He's just so solid.

Ritterin, Kakka's new master, sadly for Ritterin, Kakka recently made a daring escape in his crappy theories. He turned his old master. Hard one loves you too. Kakka. Bro, that one loves you. This is so obvious every week to know which one's Jake Rillian. I'm hopeless.

Down on their luck adventurer, I'm hopeless was super excited to participate in the Wizard Tournament, but Rin gave him such an epic wedgie that they had to go home to get their underwear surgically removed and are now recovering in Glade Home. Timmy R, a star spawned wizard whose wizard staff is just a giant worm. Whenever anyone lays eyes on Timmy R,

the only thing they can say is, star spawn, of course more. Alex M, a high elf, to turn, Rye Elf. That's right, they opened up Jewish Delhi and her slinging putstrammy sandwiches. Good on you, Alex. Cody John H, currently giving Irland a makeover that will make Beverly Wish.

He never took you for granted the darn fool and Irland looks good. Oh, snap a pic. Aaron R.S, a wizard school student who wants tooted into the spell holder. Ha ha ha. Thankfully it wasn't a stinker, just kind of a squeaker.

The most elves thought it was a car tire outside. Dinkers, squeakers! Luke is B, a warrior who rides into battle upon a wriggling seat of their own. Wait, it's many little wriggling steeds. Luke is B is riding A. Car spawn. Car spawn. Car spawn. Rubin A, a winter wolf who just loves to cuddle. Rubin is playful and loving and

honestly thinks they're just a sweet little little a little lav dog. It's so cute and they wants toward the throat out of a frost giant. Jordan L the greatest tuba player in Bohumia thought about joining the band of boobs for a brief moment but then they started playing their instrument and Jordan was like oh absolutely no fuck no fuck that. Lara S the first person to get Lucana's drunk on crick water also the same person to call Lucana's a steed and send Lucana's home when he really couldn't hold his huff. Jay Parker the first player to hit a so so sick trick playing the giant shredder game at Smuggler's Bounty also managed to hook up with the Suck You Buy and not have their soul eaten solid weekend. Charlest!

Austin C. The Jester Mage, a sorcerer who imbues items with magic and wreaks havoc on the world. Austin is the reason the watchman was hipped to Beverly's goof. Austin had gotten him with it once before. Austin. Austin M. R. A. K. The Butcher Kn as Bonesau. Hard one no longer crates fresh blood, but Austin's tartar is absolutely tempting as hell. Crack that egg. Just a pissed off Triss, A. K. A. Touchit has recently grown the roots over the Bear Prince's grave, just to mutilate his dead

and buried body. Savage move Triss. Kaley Elise, the honey queen with a heart of gold, or is it the gold queen with a heart of honey? It's all yellow. Oh, yellow. Dave J. Bellen, the bar, the traveling bar that follows the band of boobs around singing the tales of their exploits, currently being sued for defamation by Ren's father based on a really hilarious couple of verses.

Ho-ho. Devon W. half-hour orc SOMELEEYE who just opened their own wine shop called Orc in the Court. That's cute. Chris H, a personal trainer hired by Hard One to gain back the mass he lost after his body transformation. Though Chris thinks

Hard One is crazy, he looks just as tall as he did. Who just ever got to do that? That was really this too. Shinowa B, a rare bird that Erdan would absolutely lose a shit over. Thankfully, there's no idea of Shinowa's existence. Sam H, the winning plaintiff in Popos 1st K, Sam was awarded 100,000 brown leaves for burning their mouth on a twerker's big burger. Yes, Jarody, Lydia Stormborn's new personal assistant in Shadowfell.

Lydia has a hectic schedule, but Jar Jared is making sure she keeps with all her appointments they both know how important it is to stay in touch with Lydia's constituency. You true, Brian! Pintergast's former roommate decided it was time to move out when Brian had their parents visit and Pintergast called Brian some mom, a knob. You're a knob. Come in here while I'm still sleeping. Mom, man. It's freaking 11 a.m No, come in here. I'm so sweet mom man.

It's freaking 11. I'm still sleeping. It's over parents come over to bullshit. Her Majesty Claudette sounds kind of pretentious until you meet her Majesty Claudette. A tiny little kitten who naps inside a sun hat. Um, hello my queen. Crab bro, triple hill FV. A super chill Eric Cockro who lives in a nest by the sea and spends all their days windsurfing using their wings as sails

But Carbaro must choose aside eventually the great war is coming to your shores. Wow poetic Persephone a keychain who doesn't turn into a robot but is a very cool keychain nonetheless a 20-sided die on a giant ring with a long-landered, just rad-ass hell. Perfect hearing. I am so jealous. Prince of Ravens, the kinku son of Riva who is teamed up with a second cousin of Skullis to find the band of boobs and execute them for their crimes. Look out, guys. Joseph M. the half-orc bardish, Joseph attended Bahumia's Bard College of Valor, but flunked out because of bad grades.

Now Joseph works as an airship gas station attendant and plays the loot in his mom's basement, but his mom loves it. Oh, that's a point of... Wow. Reese and S, a half-human, half-poss, a messenger who traversed Bahumia delivering letters, Reese went on to found the pop-pop post. Whoa! So pop-pop was just an employee of pop-pop.

It was interesting. Jackie, a mage who uses their mage hand exclusively to tell people to talk to the hand, it's funny than it got old, but actually, now it's funny again. I'm laughing. Haley runs a very successful business at the Crick, Flippin' Stumps. Haley is getting into some legal trouble

for cutting down protected trees to help their business, but they're gonna be fine. Haley's lawyer is Papa. Oh yeah. That is all for this week, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to all of our council of elders, all of our Patreon subscribers,

and all of our listeners. We'll be back next week with another episode. You can go on over to our Patreon to listen to our short rest. Thank you. Bye. Bye, cleaning. Bye, peace. Bye, sweetie.