Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 75: This is War (The Chosen Prelude)

Episode Date: August 30, 2019

The Band of Boobs practice some civil disobedience in Gladeholm, then head off to support the free cities of Bahumia! Moonshine sticks it to the man, Hardwon makes Maw Maw proud, and Beverly extends an olive branch to an unlikely ally. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Monster Beats" by Frankum at Freesound.org."Sunday Acid Jam" by Georgeke at Freesound.org."Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Big Crowd Chatter" by Kyster at Freesound.org."Rowdy Crowd" by xtrgamr at Freesound.org."Irondeep" by Emily Axford."The Speaking Stump" by Emily Axford."Kingsguard" by Emily Axford."The Mithril Miner's Shuffle" by Emily Axford."Gladeholm" by Emily Axford."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Lucanus Aer'Tea" by Emily Axford."The University" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Bahumia. Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Hard one, sure. Foot. Emily Axford. Moonshan Sabin. Sweetie with a side of sauce who loves mouth and off

and put in the kabash on Akra. Oh my. Cool. I said that in the shower today. I was like, I'm bringing that. That's really good. Follow that called well-tanner. Okay, he can. It ain't a that. That's, really good. Follow that, called well-tanner. Okay, he can, it ain't a competition.

It's a duet. Beverly Togold, the fifth. Big bed sleeper, demon head keeper. That's solid. Yeah. Regular A plus, still. I'll take it. Not a competition.

We gotta stop this great thing. No, it's a competition and Jake is losing. But I'm steady as hell. But he's so steady. Even keel. Third place every time this dude is made of bronze. Guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys faced Acarots team

in the final round of the Glade Home Wizard tournament for possession of the Noah Fjall, aka the thinking cap. After collecting yourselves in the secret basement below the Great Hall, you hatched a plan to ambush Akarot, which saw Ren cast a fly spell on you, allowing you to attack from the outside of the building. Munchan in hard one pulled the lesser death knights from the window and killed them in one shot to kick it off. However, Akarot was up to his own tricks, donning the armor of one of the fallen Elven champions

and setting up their corpses as his crude hollow bodies. Beverly quickly dispatched the Necromancer while the rest of you went after the high prince of hell himself, but just when it seemed Akarat was cornered, he was able to take Mavers down and threaten to kill him if you didn't give up the thinking cap. When he didn't hand it over, Akarat kept true to his promise and drove his blade through Maveris' chest.

Beverly charged in to help but was banished by Akarat to another plane, a lake of fire, where he could see the silhouette of his father in the distance. Beverly senior warned Bev that killing Akarat would not free him but would promote him to take his place. Luckily, back on the material plane, Moonchine shot Akarat with a lighting bolt that did a STAGGERING amount of damage, breaking his concentration and allowing Beverly to return to finish him off, Beverly removed his head but kept him alive, his jaw falling off so he can no longer speak, then revivified Maveris.

Moon Shine took her seat on the headmaster's throne and you were all declared the winners. The doors to the university shot open and you were joined by throngs of people all celebrating Moonhine looked out onto the crowd as the crickles and high elves were for once in this thing together also you locked rent in the basement. Sorry, quicksus. And that's where we are now. Yeah, you just hear downstairs over the cheers, quicksus yelling at him to get out. Oh, how do I get out? I don't know how. I don't want to hang out with you. So you guys are in this great hall. Everyone in the city just saw your exploits

through various magical projections. So not only are they ecstatic that the Elvin team won, that the University team won, but they're also just happy to be alive. For a second there, it seemed like the whole city might plummet. So they're just excited to be alive. Even the more kind of reserved high elves

are just partying completely blending in with the Crick Elves, shotgunning ale. Oh, how dirty is the scene? The scene is very dirty. Oh, it's getting pretty hyped. I tell you what, these two tribes are going to make a beautiful picture together. Well, they mash up all their beautiful colors.

You think there's going to be a couple more moonshines? Conceived tonight. I think there might be some moonshines tonight tonight. Yeah, you see a cooter in the corner talking to a high-elven woman. He's got his arm up on the wall. Yeah, you can float on a leaf, kind of any kind of leaf. You want like a log or something like that.

Moonshan, give him guidance. I guess God. It's a cooter. Cooter seems like it's going really well. She's really into cooter. Wow, you're so exotic. I've never met anyone like you before. Yeah, that's what a lot of people say that

when they meet me for the first time, just scratches his belly. I think they're gonna go all the way. Yeah, I think so. Marriage. And then back and then, you know. You guys see. Gonna be around trip a couple times, I think.

Maverous thanks you all for the help. But he was just recently killed, so isn't feeling great. So he just kind of sticks around for like two beers, just really polite, puts the time in. I really don't care, I'm curious, think you know he's struggling. Yeah, and he retires to his new room, his new dope room.

Stairs in the King's Gorders, look on, this is just, I can't believe I let him have that, that's insane. Sure. Before we lose, I check in with him to see if he wants me to come back to the after party, but I guess he says no. Yeah, he walks out, he does like an Irish goodbye before you can get to him, he's already kind of walked out. Honestly, very cool in its own right.

Yeah. So you guys are all kind of hanging out in this great hall near the throne, probably a little shell-shocked and exhausted but happy. You're kind of coming down from adrenaline right now. You see that the sun has just gone down. It was around sunset when you guys finished. You can see the glow of arcane lanterns, these spheres glowing purple, lighting up the night. And you're here with Lucanus, Balnor and Erdan. Carl as well. Carl came with Balnor. This guy is so solid Balnor's just trash. He made sure I got here okay. Yeah, I don't know I just um, you know, he seemed kind of out of control. So I figured you know Carl. We owe you a debt

And then you guys see through a crowd of Crick Elves, Mama scramples in and runs up and hops into Moon Chines, Arms. I've been. You've done it, our daughter. I've been the knee. My champion, my other champion. I'm terrestrial. I'm terrestrial, Beverly.

Gotta be. It was not without the help of another little champion. Ree! And I said, Paba, I'm sure what you can do and I do a quick fungal for my arm. Ree! Turns you to a monster. I'm so proud of you, my little scramble man.

Gives him some little possum kisses. I, Paba goes, Ree! We're trying to crawl back on her back. Again, we don't do this, especially not when we're in fungal mode. My goodness. I'm very happy that you have this new big form, but you need to learn not to do that. I'm weeping openly.

Me! Me! You're trying to spread it on her. Lucana, does the Academy have a mascot? That's a good, you know, it's not something we've ever thought of. Yeah, I would think that maybe since, you you know since we won for for glade home That maybe we could have one or two favors and addition to the maverous favor We actually do have gifts for you. Oh, oh Cool. Yeah. Oh, that's cool too. Actually. Yeah, but maybe also a possum could be your

Mascot of your school. I mean, he's your father, so go ahead and give your persuasion check with advantage. 14. 14. 14. You see, Lucana's goes, it might be an unpopular decision for me to put a giant possum on the banner, but how about all banners for the university that come out going forward will have a secret possum,

just a sort of little small possum hidden in there That's fun. There's more guys by the lot of fun with that. There you go. Yes, that'll be sort of a fun fact That there's a little possum. Okay, thanks pops And the other things I thought maybe we could rename the Noah's while the Noah's y'all Yeah, maybe something a little more approachable though like the thinking cap Sure thinking cap or Newtlen beret whatever you do the Newtlen beret Interesting, you see mama goes it would be appropriate It is also the relic of the Crick Elves by their right and it does translate directly to the Newtlen beret

You are so sage Thank you my my champion. You fought well. Kinder words have never been bestowed upon me. I was not scared for a moment, except for briefly when the whole city started to shake and kind of lurch forward. Sure. Must have thought that was the big one coming. That was not great, but you've all done well.

You saved us all. And Lucana turns to you, Moonshine, and goes, Moonshine, I believe it might be time to return the thinking cap to its rightful spot on the wall, which you would agree more. Would you do us the honor? Absolutely. And then I say, this one goes out to Maveris, I kiss it,

and then I toss it like a frisk. Whoa, you see, Luke Conniss, like instantly wants to reprimand you, then just like calms down, catches himself, gets into the spirit of things, and you're able to, I'll say like, one last burst of telekinesis to make it fly forward, and it sets back in the wall where it's supposed to be.

And everybody lets out this big cheer. That's a Frisbee golf hole in one. And then Lucana goes to you, he goes, I'm sorry that you couldn't keep it. It looked great on you. You used it so well. I think it was so much. Honestly, it is a power that I think it should only belong on occasion to but one person. I do not think that anyone should, it should reside on anyone's head for too long. I think a lot of wise people would agree with you. The wisdom of the Crick elves,

the wisdom of the Crick. What have I been telling y'all? We are wise folk. That is correct. Mama, the watch watch I'm saying the wisest of all Cheer this and just watch cooter neck in the corner. Yeah, cooter cooter and his lady are full on making out super hard Take it to the time out Zach cooter what And Lucana continues and he goes, but yes, we do have gifts for you all. You see, he motions for an heir elemental

who comes in bearing gifts. And he turns to hard one and he goes, hard one. For you, a suit of our finest Elven plate built by dwarves then enchanted by our wizards for maximum mobility and pizzazz. mobility and pizzazz. Oh, pizzazz. He hands you a beautiful set of plate armor. It doesn't look nearly as bulky as a normal one,

like ones that you've stolen off guards before and stuff. It's like the armor you saw the Elven champions wearing, shiny and sleek and beautiful, rather than having big, bulky parts that slow you down, this Elven armor is made of lots of tiny pieces that form fit your body. Finally.

Hi. Hands it to you. If you'd like to don it, you may. Is it like almost like a bodysuit? Like a wetsuit? No, it's just like, it's like skinny armor. Yeah, exactly. It's European fitting armor.

I see, I see. It's the armor from top now, I'm not. Yeah, you can still see, you can see the bulge of your muscles through like the little chain links between some of the bigger pieces. Yeah, all right, this is, I've never had,

as before, Laconis. I might have to stretch it out just a little bit because I love his ass. This is plus one plate. Ooh, I'm serious. He's gonna go up by one and it has no dext disadvantage as it is just a real dope set of armor. Mom, I will make you proud in this. I put it on. My champion, you look even more champion like than before. Also, you're a half elf now. I didn't know about that. Thanks for not bringing it up right when you saw me. You look fantastic.

You look fantastic. Lucana said, I love the wriggling worm design on this armor. Yes, well, I thought I'd add a little bit of extra pizzazz. I knew how much of a fan you all wear of my menachel arm. Moonshine, we can buff this out. Yeah, absolutely. I'm already working on it. I got drood craft.

I used drood craft to make like a hard like crystal earthen thing. I'm buffing it out. Oh my goodness. And then you see he starts to Beverly and goes for Beverly, another gift from our Elven Armory. You see the air elementals come out with this polished steel shield, with gold and silver painted around the outside, with purple in the center, and a silver tree in the

middle. And this is a plus one shield. You can use your reaction to add your shield modifier to deck saving throws. And if you pass, you don't take any damage. It's basically like you get behind your shield Reaction now that's awesome. So that's only for Dex saving throws Okay, but it's as if if basically if a let's say a dragon breeds fire on you and normally you might make a Dex save It's if that particular dragon has Dex saves

You then can use your reaction to hold up your shield. If you were supposed to take half damage, you'll take no damage. That's so cool. And you'll pass more deck saving throws because you'll be able to add three because it's a two and then a plus one shield. And then Lucanus turns to moonshine and goes, and of course my daughter moonshine, I cannot give you the thinking cap, but I can give you a few things that might make it feel like you have the thinking cap.

Okay. And he hands over a small ring with two platinum hands holding a yellow stone in the middle. The ring of telekinesis. This will allow you to cast telekinesis at will as if you were wearing the thinking cap. So same rules as thinking cap.

You can like pull things towards you and everything. You essentially have the force. You can't pull things out of you. You can't pull things out of people's hands and you can't move people. But other than that, pretty much everything's fair game. Whoa. I've put it on my fucking wedding fingers.

I am married at Elk and Nees is now. Ah, my daughter loves arcane magic. I see it all instantly starts crying. I also have this. The Toam of Clear Thought. Study this for a week or so, and you'll begin to see the world a little bit differently. My parents gave this to me while I was studying here and it made a world of difference. It is an honor to bestow it to you, my daughter.

He ends over this big, beautiful tome. Just holding it in your hands, you can sense the magic from within it. The pages are still bright white, despite obviously being very old and the cover seems to be made of pure platinum. And one more thing to hand down to you. He pulls out a small box and opens it, producing a simple, unpretentious wand. It's got a slight curve to it, a little thicker at the bottom, and it's this dark wood color.

And he goes, my first wand. Issued to me on my first day at the university, I've enchanted it with a spell specifically for you. Use it later when you're alone with your friends not now. Okay, okay. Thank you, Pops. Of course, I have never been prouder of anything in my life than watching you work today. You are a triumph. Thank you, Dad. I give him a big hug. It gives you a hug. Excelsior. Excelsior. Okay. Is that called in the end of the world? Several yells. Several high elves yell. Excelsior in the crick-elves. Like a bear. It's the fuck you talking about. No, this is going to be a, this, this gotta be a group hug. Excel Cior.

Yeah, every Excel Cior in here. You see, Mama gets up in there. Yes, Excel Cior indeed. Boundorn, Erdan, come over and give you guys hugs. Oh yes, everyone did an excellent job. Boundorn, I can smell the beer on your skin. Yeah, it's comfortable. It's coming down. It's coming down. That's how you get better. You sweat it out, man. Belnor I can smell the beer on your skin Out man, that's how you get bail you sweat it out man. You've just got non-stop You've just been chaining those bottles. Yeah, I know. Why don't we let's hit the streets gang

Let's hit the streets wild out there. You think it's crazy and here. It's wild out there Dude usually I tell you to go to bed, but that sounds like a fucking awesome idea Hell yeah. So you guys head out of the great hall. You guys party with the elves. I was before I part ways when my dad, I just wanna say, Dad, thank you for believing in me. I know that you were kinda going against

your common up bringing to put your faith in a Crick elf. Munchine, I didn't know that I could put my faith in a Crick-Ealth, but I knew the moment I met you that I could put my faith in you. And now I know that I can put my faith in the Crick-Ealth's too. Well, then that is what I truly won from this. Alright, y'all, let's get fucked up. Yeah, proud of the elves, let's get fucked up. Proud of the elves, let's do it.

So you guys, go out onto the street. You see Lucanis and Mama join you and Balnor. You guys see, it's a party out here. It's super lively. The streets are full. There are taverns with their doors open. Just handing out drinks for free. The party rages deep into the night.

Do you guys have anything you guys want to do when you're during the party? I got one thing, Mama. There's a lot of open real estate here, right? Because they got a population crisis. I don't know, because it's full of cricket. It's full of football. Right, but I'm saying in terms of there's houses

that haven't been occupied yet. I want to go to open houses with Mama and decide and pick out some houses for the cricks to live in. You see Mama goes, now it's not the time, my daughter. Oh, okay, all right. All right, you gotta make an appointment.

You can't just break in. Right, yes. Yeah, it's usually on Saturdays and Sundays. Open houses, when you Jimmy opened the door, you can go inside. I'd like to fashion a chalice around a necklace and fill it with crick water. So it's like walking up my nose on it.

Oh my God, yeah, a hard one staggers down the street. There's nobody, it's kind of fucked up a little faster. Oh yeah. Just wearing this brilliant Elven plate, but just wafting crick water into his nose, just staggering down the street. Balnor has his arm up on your hip, trying to hold it deep, but he's also staggering.

Great, we're singing Dwarven songs. I want to take the head of Akira and pretend like it's drinking booze. Oh my God, everyone fucking cheers for that. Fuck the devil, man, fuck the devil. Fuck the devil. Oh my god everyone fucking cheers for that Fuck the devil man fuck the devil fuck the devil. Can I do a ventriloquist impression? Yes, go ahead and do go ahead and do a performance check It's gonna be a 16 sweet go ahead and do your performance Sweet, um, go ahead and do your performance. Oh, it's so bad. I only like water

Drinking the lava I suck what a loser That sounds exactly like him. They they're really they're so good. Oh, why would I drink this when I could drink ass I love to drink ass. I'm rolling in the street laughing That dude did love to drink ass If you need to start a behoo tube channel Dude, dude, dude, love to drink ass. If you need to start a BehooTube channel. Dude, dude. Dude, yeah, yeah, could've, um, Luconus, do you have any spare orbs I could use to record some of my bits?

Oh, yes, that sounds absolutely hilarious. I'm loving this. I love, I find that ventriloquism is the highest form of humor. It's nothing I love more than seeing something that shouldn't speak speak. I do a ventriloquism for Erdan's pet cat bubbles. Let me see, bubbles is kind of hard to impress. Bubbles is just kind of there. No, no, no, no, I pretend that I am bubbles. Oh my goodness.

Okay. Invasive to do to something that's already alive. Ventriloquism with an alive dummy. You see, bubbles just like start to freak out like a cat. Does that like shoulder roll cat thing where they try to get out of being pet? Is it getting near it? Okay, we don't need to do that necessarily. I would like to set up a kiss a quick kissing booth to try to save to try and make some money so that my people can get furniture for their new houses Yeah, you do our kiss a quick booth People come by

Through gold this feels a little weird. Are you okay with this is this fine? Yeah, absolutely. All right. Let's kiss I'll do a kissing booth too. I'm, go ahead and make, you know what? You are like a hot, like you're a half old. That's probably like really hot. Both of you guys make charisma checks and we'll see who's this more popular. It's not a competition, but.

It's not a competition, but okay, I got a 12. 15. Oh, damn. You guys see that there's a few more people at hard ones kissing booth. I try to wink at moonshine, but then I pass out from Crick Water. So, if that really starts

keeping hard one propped up and doing ventriloquism for him, so you let me show you like. People go, step right up, step right awake. People got a bit of pride up. What's hard to one pass is out. They just start donating money to your cars. So the party rages into the night until eventually, you suddenly hear a horn.

Buh. And it sounds as if it was amplified by magic. It doesn't sound. Is it a surprise DJ Khaled performance? It does. Unnew it. It does not sound like that. You guys look up and you see on a floating platform

our few of the Glade Home Kingsguard, these three nights in Golden Armor and Purple Caps led by an arch wizard who looks an awful lot like Ren. With slick back silver hair and a gold robe accented with silver and purple, you see that the crowd kind of looks up at them although confused, they just kind of quiet down to like a collective grumble.

And the arch wizard speaks and goes, oh, okay everyone, congratulations. Oh, you've had your fun, but it's after midnight. It's time for the crick-ills to get out of Glade Home. Thank you so much. Goodbye. And you guys see approaching from the Royal District, the opposite side of the city from the university,

a couple hundred city guards begin approaching. Oh, I instantly sober up. Yep. I'm not gonna cast a spell because that would seem, I'm standing in front, I'm standing in between. Oh, so you like protest? You essentially go. I run ahead to like try to like put myself

in between before these city guards. Sweet, so you go. And I'm shouting, hey, I'm not gonna cast any spells here, but I could, I was under the impression that, uh, y'all might feel a little more hospitable to my people, given what just happened. Uh, go ahead and give. You can either do intimidation or persuasion, and you can do it with advantage. You see, um, Lucana swaps up and stands next to you. So not only are you not only did you just kind of like help save everyone, but also, you know, your father does have some sway.

I got a nap 20. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, plus two so I guess what would you rather these guys feel I would like them to feel persuaded okay You see that They already weren't looking thrilled about this like as they were marching Towards you they didn't have their swords out or anything a lot of them as you walked up Avoided your gaze if if I may elaborate my point, I think that we're better together. And I think that there was ample evidence of that in the past 24 hours. You see Luconis had already kind of walked up next to you, but now he like puts his arm around you and he goes, that is right, the blood of all of us flows in moonshine's siphon. I am her father, and her mother is Joleen's siphon of the Crick.

And there's a kind of collective confusion, and there's like a few gasps here from up on the platform. Ren's father goes, what? Oh, God, I want to guess this bell on him. And Lucanus looks at the guards, he turns around, he looks at the high elves that are partying with the crit elves and everything, and he goes, look around you, these are not your enemy.

We are the same people, we have real enemies, devils, tried to steal the gift of magic from us the chosen tried to destroy our city I and you see he starts to get a little bit braver and he goes and yet our king refuses to act and Everyone around starts to get like a little bit uncomfortable. You see, as Luke kinda says this, the arch wizard up on the platform and the king's guard goes,

that's enough, okay? You cannot speak out against the king, seize them! And you see about a quarter of the guards pull out their swords And then Another quarter of them pull their swords on those guards Yeah, and the other half of them drop their swords

Okay, okay, I don't need you all to fight each other. Maybe just put them in head locks Okay, okay, I don't need y'all to fight each other. Maybe just put him in head locks. You see, one of the guys who has a sword held up to one of the other guards goes, I think they're probably just gonna yield. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, cool, cool. You see the ones that are kind of more loyal to the king than Lucana's or the city folk or anything get kind of intimidated and drop their weapons. Nobody kill anybody on our behalf, right?

Yeah. Unless somebody wants to kill this guy, I point at the rent staff. I see Mama hops up, jumps on hard ones head and goes, no, no, no one kills anyone. These people, these high elves feared that we would destroy their city and we will not do that. Thank you for being my conscience. And you see the arch wizard up on the platform

looks super nervous and grabs the other Kingsguard and disappears. And then you see Luconis casts a fly spell on himself and moonshine. And he goes up to the platform that the arch wizard was just on that disappeared. All right, I got to join him. Damn, I'm flying today.

Ha, ha, ha. And moonshine and Lucanus stand on the platform. We're going to see the king. You see Lucanus nods and he goes, I don't think we need to do this with violence, but they only have power because we give them power. We have the people. Yeah, yeah, I have no intention of making this violent.

I only have intention of making this effective. Moonshine stands upon the speaking stump. Ha ha ha. Y'all speaking stung, slide, that's pretty cool. What up, what up? Y'all speak and stung. Slah, that's pretty cool. What up, what up? She clears her throat really loud. I know that your king does not want y'all to be involved in the goons on, but you will

be involved in one way or another eventually, whether or not you are taken over by the yala and used against your own interests or if you just get defeated Tell a mojite so Look monarchy's a fucking dumb thing. I I'm sorry. I know that's cruel and crash to say but why are y'all still Coworing before King I Mean it's good for tourism. Is it?

Here, Kudra, go shut the fuck up, Beverly. I'm just, I tell you, it was better for, I feel like it was better for tourism, a water park. He's the everyone cheers. Y'all take it. Down with the King, get a water park. Replace the monarchy with a water park. I want a water park. I gotta give give you persuasion check for the water park

Seven I'm used to the crick-elves are going nuts for the water park and then you hear one of the other High elves that's just like part of the city guards down in the crowd It just goes what if instead of a water park? We just had like a council that kind's just like part of the city guards down in the crowd just goes what if instead of a water park We just had like a council that kind of just like um, you know, we can vote on them And they can all make decisions together. You can have both you fool just yeah That you can have mom one place. What if the council met at a water park? That's why she's the water daughter and you will bow before you see

Everyone everyone just like grumbles and thinks about this they go water park council water park council wet council wet council wet council wet council wet council wet council mama yells out to the castle but you civilly civilly and obediently obediently and we're rather disobedient but civil civil disobedience to the castle everyone starts marching in an orderly fashion Lucana Ciel's ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex-Celsea or ex his mana querm and I'll get on the back that I'm hoping I'm trying to join the mana querm So you guys all join Together in a big crew and march into the royal district

You see that some of the nobles that live here join you But other ones just like hide away in their houses and close their doors. You see them like close the shutters Come on hang out. Yeah, fuck you. Hang out. You're not a lot of you anyway, you jerk. Yo, we cannot be mean to the no-boss, okay? We need to make this good for everyone. All right, I'm sorry.

The rise of the Winkering hostilities. Do you want to be friends? Yeah, cooter. So you guys approach Glade Home Castle with this giant crowd. This gorgeous three story keep with sleek, elven architecture. Nothing is blocky, all smooth curves,

banners with the city's colors hanging from the walls. It's surrounded by an artificial moat. The shallow pond that serves as the castle garden would be a great place for water park on a slave, if need be. As you step forward, you see that there is some kind of... You can be a couple measurements. Yeah, we can put a slot around here. That's the bank.

You guys see that as you step forward there's some kind of enchantment on it that lets you walk on water. You see great statues and fountains that come out of the water in little sitting areas, a top stone islands. You also see like floating flower beds. It is just a water garden, essentially. And near the entrance of the castle, you see is a singular silver tree with no leaves, just frayed branches that stick out in all directions,

like the emblem of the city. Most of the castle guards, as you guys get close, just immediately drop their weapons and anyone that is just, like, for honor, for the king, for Gladehome, somebody would just like, polymorphs, and instantly, tabletop them into getting polymorphed, into a table. And as you guys, this big mob approach the castle in an orderly fashion.

Let's have a mob more of a club. More of a club. More of a club. More of a group of carolers. So you guys with this mob of carolers approach the castle and you see the king comes out on his balcony. This is King Celen, Iarwen. He has a beautiful long blonde hair, a delicate crown of platinum shaped to look like branches, piercing blue eyes, and wears the fanciest golden robe. And he looks out under the crowd and he yells, stop this madness! Go back to your homes! I only wish to protect the elves! If you wish to protect the elves then what is in the interest of the elves is be more open-minded and collaborating with other elves!

We are also elves! Crick-offs are also elves! You know what, maybe we're slugs and you're snails! You got a fancy shell but we're still the same! I am not a snail! You go the king of snail. It was a compliment dumbass. Don't call me a dumbass, I'm the king. I do not want to do this by force. You realize that the momentum favors our side. Traitors, all of you. All of you are traitors. Is that what you want? You want to go out and die in another fools errand

Proper traded by this man and points out at Luconis in front of the crowd It is it is not a fools errand. It is not an errand. It's an imperative God I'm showing you so much mercy by not just sickening my bravest men on you right now Oh, you trick else would do that, wouldn't you? What do you want to come in here and pee on my castle? Do it. You're the one who just said a fucking Kingsguard at the Crick-Elves and you're tan like I'm the barbaric one.

You are a slug. OK, now you want to use my metaphor, you don't like when I call you a slave. I'm fine with you being a slug, but I'm not a snail. You are a slug with a fancy fucking shell I was that right. Yeah, all right Well, if you insist if you would turn all of my people against me then help out we let you turn them against you Yeah, yeah, that's right

Yeah, that's right If you high elves join in All right, how about we let the gods decide You and I, tomorrow morning at dawn, I challenge you to a duel. A duel? A duel? Kick his ass, Munchan. Alright, man.

Yeah. If you can defeat me in a duel, I'll step down quietly. But I am a royal blood and favored by the God of Rathus. Whether or not I'm favored by my goddess of choice has nothing to do with whether or not I'm gonna fucking kick your ass. Everyone goes fucking wild at that. God, I think I got nothing to do with a petty duel. Then I will see you tomorrow at dawn. Alright.

We should push it back a little bit later. I'm pretty fucked up What about halfway between Don and noon like nine? Because it's gonna be hard I'm gonna be Where your sunscreen is happening tomorrow. Why don't we all get here at 11.30. I wanna get here and start. No, no, no, no, we get here. This is I am the king. All right, I'm getting here at 11.30 and we do it at noon.

Is there gonna be food here? Of course, there'll be food. All right, good. That works for me. That's good. All right. And you see the crowd dismisses and kind of walks back to the area

where everyone is partying. I think I'm gonna go sort of like do like a nice little rocky jog. Kind of like do some shadow boxing and just like cut weight a little bit. If you want, I'll just follow you around with the speaking stone in a cup. Yeah. Give you like a little montage music. Yeah, that'd be great. Are you done?

Could you get some bird eggs? Yes, I have some on me. Oh, perfect. Just have some eggs. Go protein shake. Bev whips up a shake for moonshine. So sweet. Luke kind of goes, so you should all probably be resting for tomorrow.

I'll see you bright and early at 11.30. OK. All right, well, I'm going to go try to sleep off my mind or hang over here. Sounds good. We got to head it back to the mansion tent. Yeah, that's good. See you late tomorrow morning. All right. It's headed back to the mansion tent. Yeah, sounds good.

See you late tomorrow morning. All right. It's gonna be 45. It's gonna be 11.45. All right, obviously push. I think it would be best if everyone got there at 11.30. 11.45 it is. I have the email draft already to send.

All right, Lucanus goes off with Erdan back to his quarters. And you guys go back to the dorm room you were staying in with Maveris and you see that the tent is gone. Oh, I could sleep in a dorm room. Yeah, there's no beds. There's still beds. This will work for me. You also remember your father told you to use the wand when you were by yourself.

Oh, right. All right, take out the wand and go wave it around. Like, I try to channel the energy of his wriggling man a worm as I wriggle the wand around. Perfect sign waves. Luchan, you wiggle the wand around. And sign ways. Lunchan, you wiggle the wand around and you see another tent appears. It looks pretty similar to the one that was here before. I think he gave us an on call tent whenever we fucking wanted.

Tiny Tiss, rolls, a dive in. Lunchan, you go in and you see that this is not Mordenkainen's magnificent mansion. This is Melora's stupendous stump. Oh! Oh! You can now castus at will, whenever you use the wand, it is enchanted with the spell. You go inside and you see that it's set up kind of like Lucanus' mansion, except it's got a little bit of that crick feel.

There's like a warm, hard, it feels very homey. There are crick stitching, like the throw pillows and everything like that. There's one big bed and you see there is also a little library that's just kind of a gift from your father to encourage you to keep reading. So sweet. Oh, this is so nice.

And the toilet is purely decorative. It's filled with anchorns. The bar's outdoor. You want a night cap. Yeah, give me some of that brick water. Boundore slips and cracks his head on the ground. Oh, it's just that time of the night where just somebody's too drunk and kind of starts ruining it.

Oh, shit. Look at you, a comprise. This booby guy's. Oh, no.. You're gonna have to sleep it off. I was a card. I was a goddamn card. What am I doing here? You carry bound ordered bed. I'm gonna tuck him up right next to his sack. Right next to his sack, right next to the bag, there you go buddy. I put a tuna sandwich by his bed,

and then also a trash can. Nice. Take off the shoes for him. Aw. While we're kind of settling down for the night, I would like to look over Erlin's journal. Oh, very cool. Yeah.

So yeah, so you start leafing through Erlin's journal and you see he's got little journal entries about his adventures. You see that they had a run in with an orc tribe who showed up to Hillholm and tried to bully them. A Gwain had to duel, had to like go out and fight like the orc chiefed in to like get them to like collectively leave Hillhomb. Oh wow. I write down some of the insults that a Gwain used just for later. Right. You read another story about there was a kid that was kidnapped by a that was like snatched by this greater Griffin monster and they had to follow it into the mountains

on Red's airship and they defeated the Griffin but he was able to collect a Griffin egg, and he was talked about how he hoped that you guys would get to ride it together someday. Oh, gosh. So romantic. He's become so cool without me. And also a really good writer. I feel like I'm crushing harder all over again. Uh-huh. Just like seeing the person, the man he's becoming.

Yeah, it's like clear that he's kind of, even though it's only been a few weeks, it's kind of the same with you guys, like this is a magical world, these are heightened times. Yeah. These guys have gone on kind of just as many adventures in this short amount of time span as you guys have. Spin off.

Ah. Ah. Oh wow, they sleep in one tiny sleeping bag. That's interesting. I probably fall asleep reading the sweets. You fall asleep reading Irland's journal and all of you guys go to bed for the night. So you guys are sleeping and probably planning on getting there like two minutes before you need to. When studying Lee, a head, pokes inside your tent, a.k.a. your stump, and it's Erdan, he goes, oh, everyone, I just wanted to let you know, it's 10 a.m.

So if you wanted to have, five more minutes. Have just like a, if you want to have a little breakfast or something, I just wanted to make sure everybody was. I actually do want to have like five more minutes. Have just like a, if you want to have a little breakfast or something, I just wanted to make sure everybody was. I do want to have a breakfast. And I would like to make myself a hero's feast. Oh, and then after I make my hero's feast, I want to do a zill, it's trans to try and get

that six level spell back. Ha ha. You little fucking medagamer. It's so good. If fucking Erdend didn't wake you up early, I was just doing it as a joke, but he totally helped you out. Awesome. Yeah, go ahead and roll it. Can we have some of the feasts too? Yeah, y'all get in on this. Wow. I was going to even have it done. Give me

anything. I'm looking at the pan and see if there's any bacon left. Oh yeah. Okay. This is a throne of heroes. A hero's breakfast. Boundore super pumped. Uh-huh, the Super Hound over. This is doing it for me. Absolutely. Your head looks nasty, man. Oh my god. He looks in a mirror. What happened?

You cracked a dome. Wow. Yeah. No, you were being hilarious last night. Was I? I picked night. I didn't say anything weird, did I? No, no, you were just cracking...

You were just cracking wise all night. Yeah, just classic Boundore. Absolutely vintage. But if you ever just you're just cracking wise all night. Yeah, just classic balknor Absolutely vintage, but if you if you ever need to talk about anything we're here. Why would I yeah, no? I'm fine good everything's out in the open-grown balknor No, the my back Hi, are you guys as you eat this heroes breakfast? You're instantly cured if your hangover. Huge. I'm not gonna make this every single morning.

Shit, this is what you can do. That's really nice. All you have to do is eat 12 biscuits and then you don't have a hangover. This rules. While we're prepping while we're eating, I would like to invite moonshine to join hard one of myself. And Balonart, if he's up for it, for some last minute squats. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Some inspirational squats. Oh, nice. I believe this session, Bev.

It's been a while. I gotta get back into it. Let's go. All right, so we're doing inspirational squats. I think about 10 minutes of squats, just to get limber, just to get loose. 10 minutes is what I usually do to warm up. We don't wanna overexert. She's got a long battle ahead, but I think you want the legs nice and nice and warm.

I'll do lunges on the walk over. Smart. Bev, are you? So this is like inspiring speech, but inspiring squats. Yeah, this is inspiring squats, which is the new official flavor of inspiring speech. Munchen, you see the gingerly way with which Beverly is squatting. You see the gingerly way with which Beverly is squatting. Really inspires you to get deep, and improves your constitution. Go ahead and it's extra hit points, right? Yeah, it's a plus 16. Wow.

Damn. You are buffed up, girl. You gotta get deep. You gotta dig deep. I'm diggin' deep. It's like sitting into a better life. Ooh. That's what I like how the squat says. So Moonshine, you make this hero's breakfast.

You consume it, you do your zealous trance, you do squats with Beverly and hard one, and you see Erdan goes, all right, now we're really cutting it close. We should really get going. Yes, of course, Erdan. Some of us are worms. Would you like man-hawirms? Yeah, let's do it in style. Absolutely. Let's show them very much difference between the creek and the hile. Erdan leads you out into the university area where

like all of the dorms are like directly outside your dorm. And you see Lucana is waiting there are like directly outside your dorm. And you see Lucana is waiting there with three mono poems for you. Excel C-R, you ready my daughter? I'm ready. I'm ready. Sweet, so you guys, wriggle and ride. Many high elves look jealous at your men and her poems.

They love those guys here. They see us rolling. They see rolling Um, these high hopes seem to be obsessed with me Yeah, we didn't talk about how popular your kiss and booth was you're getting a lot of you're getting a lot of winks as you go through town Um, and you guys um get back to the castle. You see that there is a huge crowd gathered Um, you see the king is warming up with his king's guard, and this dude looks geared up.

You see he's wearing enchanted golden plate mail that looks even more intricate than the normal Elven plate. He has an arcane shield that just floats around his body and protects him without him using his hands, and he has a rapier in each hand and is doing the like extremely dorky, high-elven style of fighting, ah-ha, Let me try and, you know, even if it be yield, you can kill him. I know, I know.

Let's see how this day goes. Okay, let me know when it's like a minute before and I'm going to symbiotic entity. Sweet, yeah. The arch wizard motions for everybody to be quiet and calls you and the king to the center of the garden, the water garden. And you're gonna symbiotic entity?

Yeah. Okay, you turn into a symbiotic entity. I am gonna say you're not gonna be a levied pop-off. Yeah, I wasn't intending to. I don't think that'd be a fair point. He's so powerful. Rie, yeah. Pop-off watches as a monster on the side.

Rie, he's ready to get involved. Pop-off, he kills me, you can come in. Rie. Yeah. I massage pop-off shoulders can come in. Riiiing. I massage Papa's shoulders. Riiiing. He looks super mad. So moonshine stands in the center of this garden. Big crowd basically makes like a you around the combatants

and the rest of the circle is filled out by the castle. And the arch wizard announ out by the castle. And the arch wizard announces to the crowd. All right everyone, I want a good clean fight. The battle is over when one person yields or is killed. If there is any interference by outside forces, the interfering parties will be thrown into the dungeon and the duel will be declared no. Weird Crick-Earth, are you ready? Yeah, shitty I.L. Oh, excuse you, I'm the arch wizard Rin!

Hey, you named your kid one letter of different than you? Why would I not? Oh, oh, oh, oh, you which is really not saying a lot. Yeah, are so lucky I just did not go koo style because you will be so easy to overthrow You are so unlikable and you see the king goes all right, Rin come down just get it started and he goes All right everyone and let's hear it for the king the Selenor Iarwin There's a chorus of booze why are you all booing me? This isn't fair for the king the Selenor Irwin. Oh ho ho ho. Ooh. Right, yeah. There's a chorus of booze. Why are you all booing me?

This isn't fair. We'll see how much they boo me when I cut your head off very painstakingly with this rapier, with many pokes, death by a thousand pokes. Yeah, gah gah gah gah. So you're gonna perforate me? Yes.

And then rip my head off of this paper. That is right. That is right. Jesus, I'm so terrified. So you're gonna perforate me and then rip my head off and it's right paper. That is right. Jesus, I'm so terrified. You see, Arch Wizard Ren announces, um, commence the duel. Oh, oh, oh. Everybody cheers, go ahead and roll initiative, moonshine.

Woo. 13. He gets the drop on you. He's a little bit faster. You see he is wearing this golden plate and then there are like gems Infused into his armor and then he's got this arcane shield that just whirls around him kind of like following your blade As you move it and get in a position And he does beat you and you see on his first turn he pulls out

This little thing that looks like it's a sensor, it looks like it would be for like incense or something and he goes, I call forth the power of the elementals and he opens it up and you see an air elemental appears next to him. And that's allowed, there's nothing in the rule book that says he can't use the items that are on his person. This is all fair. This is very honorable. I'm gonna just sort of inch my way around the circle just so I'm standing near this blocker. Right. So the arrow metal is going to go forward and take two slam attacks on moonshine, swings, and that's a 15 hit misses, takes a second attack, that's a 24 to hit. That does hit.

What type of damage is this, Katie? It is bludgeoning damage. Okay. Blustering. So moonshine, you take 10 damage. You guys see the crowd reacts with an U as the arylometal like slams her into the ground and moonshine pops back up moonshine that is your turn. Okay, I'm going to cast a fifth level wrath of nature.

Okay. You call out to the spirits of nature to rouse them against your enemies. Choose one point you can see within range the spirits cause trees, rocks and grasses in a 60 foot cube centered on that point to become animated until the spell ends. At the start of each of your turns, each of your enemies within 10 feet of any tree in the cube must succeed on a dexterity saving throw or take 4d6 slashing damage from the whipping branches.

At the end of each of your turns, one creature of your choice that is on the ground in that cube must succeed a Strength saving throw or become restrained until the spell ends and then for rocks as a bonus action on your turn You can cause a loose rock in the cube to launch out of creature You can see in a cube make a ranged spell attack on the target on a hit the target takes 3d 3d8 non-magical bludgeoning damage and must succeed. A strength saving throw or fall prone. So essentially I'm trying to turn this turn nature against.

Oh my god. You created like a car wash. I'm nervous. I've never used a spell before, so I don't know if it's good or not, but. It seems cool. It seems cool. I can picture it in my head. It seems great.

That is the King's turn. The King is going to run forward. Oh, beating you with just my talent, oh. It just began. King on the water, King on the water. Dances on the water and strikes forward with a rapier first attack. Spanning is move.

I see a tiny little skidmark in his robe, do you see that? First attack is a 21 to hit. That was a brown ruby that gets in. Okay. Moonshine, I need you to give me a constitution saving throw. You see as it goes, as it strikes near you, you see that it looks to be coded in some kind of poison. 15.

That passes. Moonshine, you take 14 damage from the first rapier hit. He uses a second attack. that's a 20 to hit. These are extremely fine swords, plus three rapiers. Very good. And Moonshine, I'm going to give me another constitution saving throw. Oh, actually, I'm actually immune to poison because of my hero's feast. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Oh my god, so you're completely immune to poison because of my hero's feast. Oh, that's amazing.

Yeah. Oh my god, so you're completely immune to it? Yeah. So, Moonshan, you take, you only take eight damage from the first attack, because some of that was poison damage. Oh, she is. Because you take poison damage even if you aren't poisoned. So you're immune to it, so he like, he stabs you with it and he goes like,

oh, feeling sick at all, yet? No, I'm actually feeling fucking great. I had great breakfast the bobs were on cheros the second attack only does eight damage because you don't take any the poison damage then it's gonna take an offhand attack and misses on the offhand gets a little frazzled okay sure you're not feeling sick yet not all not in the slightest does a flourish and bows to the crowd our moonshine makes other people frazzled. Okay, sure you're not feeling sick yet. No, not in the slightest. Uh, does a flourish and bows to the crowd. Our moonshine makes other people sick.

Okay, I think in a lot of ways. I start off my turn. At the start of my turn, the trees, any tree within 10 feet of this dude, uh, he has to succeed a dexterity saving throw and take 4d6 slashing damage. Okay, from whipping branches, is he near a near any trees. He's definitely near trees You there's trees all around okay Shout out to the two crew. Yeah The ancient the ancient like silver looking tree that is the pride of the elves whips him super hard in the ass My own tree whipping in the ass

He takes 12 damage from his own tree. Spanked by my own tree. Everything here hates you. Hey, Rin, I checked in the rule book. It says that's totally allowed. I'm minor illusion in a rule book that says, Eat My Butt. That's not a rule book. That's not even a real rule book.

Uh-huh. It's absolutely real. I don't know what to tell you. He dispels magic on your rule book. Stop weaving rule books. That's not real. I don't know what to tell you. He dispels magic on your rule books stop weaving rule books I heard real and then I'm gonna Spores him for 18 sweet cheese Then I'm gonna a takin I'm gonna attack him because any of this wrath of nature stuff isn't actually part of my action

You guys see the It looked bad for a second when he instantly pulled out this air elemental thing and they started double-teaming her, but Moonshine very quickly starts to take control. And you hear the crick-els are going nuts. I've got three more things to do. One, attack him. Okay.

Does a 12 hit. 12 does not hit. It blocks with his magic shield. Then as bonus, I'm gonna hurl a rock at him. Sure. Mushrooms, trees, and rocks all attacking you. Shout out to the two crew, it's definitely gonna miss. You see the arcane shield blocks your sword attack,

then comes around and blocks the rock, and he goes, yes, I earned that shield by being rich. Yeah, you really did. You realize that your own fucking front porch is like rebelling against you right now. Okay, and then the roots and vines at the end of my turn, one creature of my choice that is on the ground and the cube must succeed

a strength saving throw or become restrained until the spell ends. So he can do a strength check against my spell save DC. Okay. Geez, that's an at- at six and he's not super strong You see vines burst out from below the water and wrap around him What no my own cool tree I don't think you treat likes you so much there's fighting dirty and then there's fighting dirty

Yeah, there's fighting dirty, and then there's fighting dirty. Yeah, and there's fighting Rudy. You see the heirloin that's gonna slam on you twice. Misses on the first attack. Shout it to the two crew misses on the second attack. All right, we're all missing. That is his turn. Can he use anything to try to get out? It says, our strength creature can use an action

to make a strength check against your spell save. Okay, so he is going to use an action to try to get out. He's gonna try to wriggle out. He starts wriggling. Okay. High Oves are known for the wrigglingness, and I am the king. I am the riggliest one of them all.

That's only a 12th. That does not save. Cool, then he is going to use a bonus action to try to use his off-hand to poke at you. Ha ha ha. This was your mistake trying to get close to me. I have you right where I want you to sideflailing in the air.

You see, ring the arch wizard. Oh no! You still think this is funny? Wow. That is a miss on the bonus action attack. Has to roll with disadvantage. That's back to you the bonus action attack. Has to roll with disadvantage. That's back to you, Mojang.

Okay, so now me and nature have advantage on him, right? Cause he's restrained. Yeah. All right, Tree's gonna attack him again. Oh my God. I'm gonna assume a 24 hits. A 24 just hits, yeah. Okay.

He's armored up, but yeah, you whip him in the back of the head. 16? Oh, oh. Tree, tree, tree, tree. I have him for 16. Take the tree king. I'm for is him for 18. Oh my God, you're taking his ass, Mojang.

I'm gonna attack him. Oh my God. Nat 20. Oh my God. I am in fungal form, so that's gonna be 4d6. Behold your king. So that's 27 more damage and then I'm gonna hurl a rock at him. So insulting.

You absolutely beat the shit out of him. Oh 19 doesn't hit though. 19 does not hit. Okay. Just hit someone with a shield the shield blocks for him Just like stop it stop That's my turn I see on his turn he goes All right, I'm gonna give you one last chance to yield. One last chance. Before I pull out the big guns.

I'm actually, I'm so curious to see these big guns. Are you? Yeah, you're still restrained. So far you haven't pulled out any guns. So far you haven't pulled yourself out of the woods. You see Arch Wizard, Rin looks at Harden, goes, he's talking, is that, I think that might count as interference with this might have to be no Now you're talking you see the king goes yes, I think this might be no he's getting involved wait, can I see the rule book?

Go quick oh no you I'm surprised you know how to read you dirty little guy Look at you walking around without shoes. What's wrong with you? Oh, you insult my people. I made you and the book in slap em, would it? Oh, they're attacking me, King Stopham. And the King just looks quietly down and whispers to you, mood shine, and goes, all right, how you? I pretend not to hear it and that attack again.

Ha ha ha ha! Please bring us so far! Alright, I yield just relax, alright? Does it 23 hit? I does. As the sword swings down what he yells at, I yield! I yield! I still prevail!

Okay, okay! Mochad, you redirect the sword, swing it back up, you need to catch yourself. I, you see, he dismisses the heirloomental. And before there are cheers, there's just a look of shock amongst everyone. I call the roots to retreat so that he can stand up. But as soon as he stands up, I make the roots trip in one last time. Why would you do that? I'm already at my lowest.

I don't know, roots are mine of their own, honestly. Fine, if this is what you all want, if you want to die in senseless wars, if you want to follow people like this, whatever, a snail elf. Victor? Slugged out. What? Like this Victor, this winner, you were looking for a word to title me with so I was suggesting some options. Yes, you've won the day with your outside interference using trees and all kind of things because you don't want to fight me. Elf on Elf. Can I cast Heat Metal on his fancy, on his fancy?

You cast it? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, he takes it off and he's just in golden Mormon underwear. Alright, I'm truly at my lowest here. I've been watching this for a long time. I've been watching this for a long time. I've been watching this for a long time. I've been watching this for a long time. I've been watching this for a long time.

I've been watching this for a long time. I've been watching this for a long time. I'll have only my servants with me, my wife, all of my children, and only a healthy amount of supporters to come with me to worship me day to day. Anyone who's considering supporting him just letting you know there is going to be a water park where we're standing right now. You hear there is a giant cheer finally everyone cheers for moonshine. Give me an limb. Give me an oh. Oh that's enough. Oh my god. Everybody cheers and runs in in Boundore and Lucana and Erdan and so nervous. Beverly and hard one join you, hoist you up as everybody cheers. Ladies and gentlemen, Moonshine, Sibon, the keeper of the crick and the pride of the elves. Pride of the

elves. Pride of the elves. Pride of the elves. Thank y'all, but you know, you can be your own pride, you know? Everyone can be their own pride. I don't like it when somebody else is the pride. Who's saying that kind of shit is exactly what she's the pride? Wow, he's absolutely right about that. Yes. Yeah, yeah, he's right.

Wow, Moonshine, you're just better than us. Wow. Unlike the wizard tournament, all I feel right now is relief because I thought I super fucked up by casting wrath of nature So moonshine is just feeling really. No, it was so good. It was so dirty and so perfectly moonshine Okay, after the kind of initial adrenaline boost of moonshine having one there is this kind of

collective well what the hell do we do now? And you see Lucanus projects his voice with a spell, and he goes, I believe that until we can put together a council and elect them fairly, I suggest we nominate a representative from the Crick and the High Elves to take over in this current situation. I nominate Mama.

Seconded. You hear Crick yells in the background. 30. Or 50. Rick, I want to be earlier on in the order. Oh, good off. 60. 60.

70. 70. 70. I'll do, I'll do 70. 20. 30. 40. I said, whatever over this boat. My champion, you, my 15th boat. Thank you. I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I'll do I of the Mama of the Crick speak now and everyone says you could just hear up I have my hands tightly wrapped right my hand

And Mama goes thank you all you honor me and Lucana's goes given the current situation we should also elect someone to represent the high-ealth I nominate Lucana Lucana's dead easy. I look on his look on this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. You see a bunch of people I guess you're exactly a team friend He's a team friend And like 19 people are murmuring Um, Lucanus goes There is someone Who is As solid

As Carl Much less extra than me And always takes time to think things through Erdan I would like to things through Erdan I would like to nominate Erdan Yes, I second it you're the batter Dan Should be in charge that him not wanting to be in charge is exactly why he should be in charge

Right or that makes sense to me that makes us to me. Yeah, I mean I like him He's got a weird. He's got a weird He's got a weird skeleton cat skeleton cat skeleton cat. Oh, I made a skeleton cat actually All in favor of Erdan skeleton cat Yay and by proxy Erdan bubbles and mama a big that's a classic ticket That's a winning ticket. Bubbles and Mama, 2072, which is the year we are in. Right. Cheers are let out from the crowd,

and you see Mama scrambles up into the, into the silver tree, the pride of Glade Home, and she looks out onto the crowd, and she goes, my people, the high elves are dead. The Crick Alps are dead. Long live the elves. Everybody cheers. Damn, she knows just what to say.

That's so much better than just talking about water parks, like I did. What a politician she is. See, that's the message, but the water parks, that's the policy. Absolutely. You're right, I talk too much policy. That's my issue. To meet soundbikes.

To be standing in the future site of the Congressional Water Park. What an honor. Everybody cheers in the newly dubbed Congressional Water Park. Her mama, the new leader of the Owl's Skyrim. Wow. Could somebody help me down from here? Mama's like, way too. I brush over. Hard one runs over, bounds up the tree. She gingerly steps into your palm, She gingerly steps into your palm and you carry her down. I place her into my beard and descend.

A seat of honor. She hangs on claws out. So Moon Shine has just won this duel. It is only high noon. Over the rest of the day, the king and the few supporters he has left begin packing up an airship yacht. It's just a very big giant, ostentatious airship and the king just goes, I cannot believe I've been left destitute. It's in a way, it doesn't even look like he lost that bad.

I know, that's the thing in there. Come on kids, grandkids, loving family. Off to the summer castle. That's one thing I can stand by. They definitely don't love him, right? That family does not love him. Let's get this money. That's possible.

So this is what it's like for the silver 1%. Yeah. Hi, see a bunch of them are loading onto this airship. You also see Ren, not Ren, but Ren, the younger Ren, who you sort of befriended in the castle is joining his father who is going on the airship yacht. Looks like he must have escaped the basement and he goes up, oh, I guess I missed a lot

while I was gone, huh? How long have you been in the basement? Well, I didn't have my teleportation spell, so I had to Trans down there before I could get out of the basement. I missed the whole party and I guess the upheaval of the government. Oh Yeah, um, oh, so Your dad said to really a message you were to be Mavericks' personal servant now. Um, no, I'm leaving. My dad says I have to go with him.

Yeah. Where are y'all going? We're going to the King's Summer Castle. We have a place there, but it's not even as big. We only have like 30 servants. Five of our servants turned against us. We're going to have to go there and recruit people that are native to the island who are hiles.

Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, it sounds awful. We're gonna have to go there and recruit people that are native to the island who are hiles. Oh Yeah, Ren sounds awful. We're gonna be here fighting the war to end all wars against a goddess and a devil to save Really? Yeah, why you know what Ren? I Don't I haven't taken any classes in divination like a lot of your fellow students But there is one thing I know about the future. You will always be rich in money and poor in company. See, Ren looks down and he goes, but I could just buy friends with money. What are you trying to say to me? Okay.

Can we hit him? Yeah. I want to fight him. You're all, can I grapple him? Yeah, I want to fight him. You're all I can I grapple him You got to grab it. Whoa, I was gonna say that you're all my best friends And you've taught me that you can be dirty and poor and ugly and stupid and Still I wish that you would live somewhere else, but I don't actively want you to disappear You've taught me so much. Uh-huh.

I'll pick Pock and I'm with handy. I'd say 22 for handy. Andy and D. Scramble's up there. He has like a small bag that he has with him that the servants aren't carrying, but most of his luggage is being carried by people, but yeah, you pull out Nine platinum Dang You know, Ren I

You suck a little less than we all thought I'm about to call you an acquaintance I predator handshake him Okay, weird handshake, okay? Yeah, you know in the end you were the RENVP of the battle. Oh. I like that.

I think puns are the highest form of humor. Can't deny it. Yeah. REN, keep working on yourself. Huh. Oh, whoa. REN, hold on. Oh, yeah.

Join his father. Oh, I know he won't. Yep. But he did stop the city from crashing into the ocean for a minute. You know what, that's the best we're gonna get, I know he won't yep, but he did stop the city from crashing into the ocean. You know what? That's the best we're gonna get I think Still think you were being generous with that predator handshake I Flip them off then You watch his red walks off and joins his other like stupid snooty family

Where's the kings where is the king summer castle? Yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I would just feel real bummed if they were the ones that had to repopulate the entire earth. Oh, that is tragic to think of. Yeah, it's a bad thought experiment. Yeah, it really is. Disgurging, say the least. You guys see guards that are wearing the university colors, the red and black and silver are kind of helping keep things in order. They're kind of ushering the royals out onto the airship. The ones that want to leave at least making sure that they're not destroying any property or anything

from the from the Glade Home Castle. And you see Luconis. You see him arguing with a meister like this kind of older elf in a purple robe that has a bunch of like papers and scrolls and stuff. We eavesdrop, at least I do. You guys sneak up to this little argument. You see that this Meister has a little raven on his shoulder. You can kind of detect that.

It's kaka. It's not kaka. That's not kaka. That's not kaka. I know him anywhere. You can kind of tell right off the bat with the amount of paperwork this dude has with him. And the fact that he has a raven on him, he also has, he basically has got one arm full of scrolls

and stuff and another cage full of ravens and stuff. This guy's clearly the messenger. And you see Luconis is arguing with him. That is not the king's property. That is property of the kingdom. That belongs to us now.. That is not the king's property, that is property of the kingdom. That belongs to us now. I know these are the king's documents. They were given to the king at the time of his rule.

We will be taking them with us. I want to mage hand the cage to the Ravens, to cause a distraction. Sweet, go ahead and I guess you can do a sleight of hand or archon. Okay, you can do a slight of hand or our Okay, I do perception to see if any of the ravens in the cage are my raven Sure if he if he puts the lemme know if he like if the distraction causes him to put the documents down at all, okay, I did roll a net 20

Hard one. Caucus in that cage. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, 16, okay. Beverly, you successfully open the cage and you see the Ravens begin to take off and this dude goes, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And goes to like shut the door of the cage as like a few of them have flitted off and you see while he's distracted, Lucana just grabs the first scroll from him.

If there's any other scrolls that he's put down, I wanna use my ring of telekinesis. Oh yeah, he certainly dropped a bunch of papers and stuff. So you just tell kinesis to- Okay, I wanna use my ring of telekinesis on anything he's dropped. You pull a few scrolls over to you? That's the sound my telekinesis make.

Scrolls in there. Why is it wet? I'm gonna say that there were four ravens in there and I'm gonna roll the D4 to see how many have begun flying away. Three have begun flying away. One of them is caught in the cage. Let me see, I'm gonna roll a D4. If it's a four, a cock-ass still on the cage.

Otherwise, he's actively flying away. I'll roll it in front of you here. Shit, two. That's a two. You see, cockaka is flying away with a couple other ravens. Kaka, my son! Sweepers on a mine!

All right, you know what, I'm gonna cast animal friendship on Kaka. Kaka. Hard one, you feel in your heart that Kaka is responding to you even though it is clear to anyone else that it is because of the animal friendship hard one you see yeah I definitely do it secretly so hard one doesn't know

hard one you see this crow flies back you can tell it was Kaka because it was a little smaller than the other Ravens must have been like capture. I know. When it came to... Corki had no business being in that cage. Speak to Mima.

Corki flies back and lands on your shoulder. I also have to say I have to cast animal friendship with a morsel of food. So I'm kind of just like holding a little piece of bacon over hardwashed shoulder content. I turn to moonshine. I have a deep connection to this bird. Starts eating the bacon and then just starts going through your pack, packing out your food.

It's all for you, cock-a-kaw. Here, hard one. Let me give you this ribbon of friendship and I tie cock-a-kaw to hard ones so we won't fly away again. There you go. The bird probably asked for this. That ever wants to be far from me again. Absolutely. It's an honor. And Moonshine, you look at some of the papers

that you were able to grab. You see while you're reading through these papers, you see Luconis kind of just like casts this guy off. This guy's just a myster and Luconis in art wizard. So it's very easy for him to intimidate him. The guy just kind of grumbles and walks off as Lucana looks through some of the papers, trying to figure out what's going on. I'm gonna try and you look and you see

that there are two scrolls in here that are still sealed with the iron deep seal, like with a hammer. Whoa. I know that seal. Yeah, I want your diagnosis. I do. I could probably read the contents

But why don't you go ahead? I have to tend to my dirt my bird Lucana's am I allowed to open this or I mean my curiosity is getting the better me right now tell me to stop if I should Uh, Lucana walks over to you. No, we should be reading these messages from other cities out the king had this whole Isolationist policy. I can't believe he looks at the scrolls. The messages from Iron Deep that haven't even been read. Oh, let's crack them. Yeah. He grabs it from you, cracks open the scroll.

Bev, I'd like to do my best to, I've been doing some practicing reading and when I had to think and cap on, I had like a real breakthrough. So I'd like to take a go at one of these. That's amazing. Yeah. All right.

You want to divine conquer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take one and you'll probably get through yours a go at one of these. That's amazing. Yeah. All right. You want to divine conquer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take one and you'll probably get through years a lot quicker than I can. Sweet. Yeah. Lucana holds the paper up next to you guys. You guys crack open the other one.

There's two of them. You see that they are identical. Like somebody sent the same message twice and wasn't getting a response. The second one says, hey, just bumping this. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Friendly reminder says, hey, just bumping this. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Friendly reminder, what is it?

Like, friendly nudge. Read tweet for the afternoon crowd. Yeah. Mochain, go ahead. Like I said, while you had the thinking cap on, you definitely were having a breakthrough with reading, go ahead and give me an intelligence check with advantage to do this yourself.

16. Munchan, this is written by a dwarf. And you know the dwarves of Iron Deep are kind of like very straightforward. So it's written very plainly, very simply. This isn't some like bullshit, acerot letter or vampire letter. And you're able to completely read it.

And you read that the King of Iron Deep, Grimthor McGannis is calling a war council of all the free cities, and they're meeting at the Astral Keep. And this message has been sent a couple of times. So the one message says it's in three days, one says it's in two, and it's dated a day ago. And Lucana Scose, there hasn't been a meeting at the Astral Keep since the war against

Osmodeus. What's the Astral Keep? It's a floating castle on the Astral plane that serves as a neutral meeting place for the various leaders of the realm. It's not easy for entire armies to do planar travel, but it's relatively easy for a few high level mages to bring in royals and other representatives. And you see, he starts going through the various scrolls

with the Iron Deep Seal, these repeat scrolls. And he goes judging from the dates on these scrolls, it looks like this war council begins tonight. I mean, I'd say myself and my compatriots have quite a bit of experience in battle these days. Yeah, also planes happen. Yeah, and we're quite comfortable going from plane to plane, we're good with the jet lag and whatnot.

Yep. The level of clothes required. Yeah. We're not required. We are good at packing also. and whatnot. Yep. The level of clothes required. Yeah. We're not required. We are good at packing also. All right. Well, it's a sec. Yeah, so I mean, we would be honored to head up there.

I mean, unless I'm speaking for all of us. It sounds like if the king of Iron Deep needs me, I want to be there. Yeah, okay. I think we should go. Yeah. And that's the best way to help Iron Deep. Yeah.

Let's do it. We volunteer all right I'll go run it by Erdan I think he'll be fine with us taking some responsibility off his plate You see Erdan is just surrounded by people and he's just like pulling his hair out. Oh no, I don't I'm sort of an introvert This is Honestly, my Slads have to go.

I love it. You see he looks super devastated, but then you see Kaka flies over and perches on Erdan shoulder. My sweet boy. Erdan goes, oh, who's this little fella? That's my, I want to say pet, but it's more of a brother. I've got to go to the astral plane, That's that's my my I want to say pet but it's more of a brother

I've got to go to the I've got to go to the astral plane But um if you if you'll watch him if he'll have that I don't know if you're ready to leave my side But I'd be honored I get rid of the animal friendship spell It's okay Kaka. I'll be back for you like I always am hiding in one of Erdance bags Oh, this is weird. It's like he's trying to get out of the air. That doesn't make any sense I'll be back for you like I always am. Just hiding in one of Erdance bags. Oh, this is weird, it's like he's trying to get out of the air. That doesn't make any sense. You heard it. He probably doesn't want to watch me leave.

He knows what's coming. Are you sure you can deal with? I always return. Are you sure you can deal with being apart from him? I've been through it before, it's tough, but I'm strong. Yeah, I was wondering, because I've known you for a few days now, and I've never seen the bird. Yes, yes, that's right.

The bird was on a very important mission. Right, and he ranges far and wide. It's a long story, but we have a deep connection. All right. So yeah, so Lucanis runs it by Erdan. Erdan is more than happy to send Lucanus as the representative of Glade Home. Gives him like a little sealed note

to say that he can speak on the city's behalf. Erdan, mama. My child. I must present you with something. And I use two of Rosalene's charges to make a scratch ass. Hell yeah, go. So I give each of them a scratch ass.

Mama takes it. This is rad. This is seriously rad. Yes, this is quite rad. I think I might put it on my wall. Is that okay? Well, yeah, it's kind of so I can get in touch with you. So. Right. You could put like, you can get in touch with you. So right. Yeah, all right

You could put like you like mount a wall phone. I guess so I have excused to just carry around a sigh on my belt Yeah, and it's not weird. It's just no this is just like what I should do is just have a sigh Yeah, I should just like carry one around. Yeah, it looks good. It looks good. Thank you Erdan this is the happiest you've seen Erdan ever Thank you Erdan this is the happiest you've seen Erdan ever Well good luck and I'm sure you'll bring the Intelligence of the high elves and the wisdom of the cricks with you everyone's just an elf. No, that's right Yeah, that is correct. So wise. That's correct my champion you order me you see

Lucana's goes it will only take a moment for me to teleport us there So you let me know when you're ready, and we'll head over. I'm gonna go get some of my things over at the university, and you get ready anyway, you wish. Well, we'll probably need like diplomatic duds, I would say. Yeah, we should go shopping. Oh, yeah, I think y'all got a Renee's here. I don't know who Renee is, what is, who is Renee?

Take us to your Renee equivalent. I don't know who Renee is. What is who is Renee? Take us to your Renee equivalence. I don't know Renee who is Renee. We're looking for your fanciest Taylor. Fanciest Taylor. Ah, I love fanciness. Excelsior. We got him and he calls forth his man a whirm and takes you guys through like the Noble's District. And you see that there is indeed a very fancy Elvin Taylor there. You guys can get some sweet fancy duds. What are you looking for in particular? Like a lot of metals.

Yeah, what do y'all think that we should wear? Epilets. I need new boots. My shoes are a little bit roomier than they used to be. Oh, I hadn't even thought of that. I've been stuffing socks in the end of them, but I'm gonna get some new boots. I'd like a new cape.

Oh, got a new cape. I've got my cloak. That's like, it's like a starry cloak, right? Yeah. So maybe I'm gonna really lean into the moon in my name and go for some like real like nighttime garb. Okay, sweet. Yeah. Yeah, you find some nice like black silk and dress clothes. Yeah. Hard one, you're able to find some nice sturdy boots at a more sort of workman's shop. Little rug is. And you could definitely, there are capes of all different colors.

There's ones that are emblazoned with the logo of Glade Home, with like the silver tree. There's like purple and gold ones. There's ones that are like the university colors, like red and black and silver. Very cool. I guess I'm gonna get a, just a dark black one and, so an M M in there.

Hell yeah. The Mama. Oh hell yeah. The Queen's Guard. The Queen's Guard. You see the Taylor response to that and goes, oh, we can do that for you custom. We can do some arcane lettering in there

if you want me to customize it in any way. That sounds way better than me doing it actually. Yes. Please don't touch the, don't touch the clothes. I use, I use, I was gonna scratch it in there with this dagger. You see, this tailor is a bit of a wizard himself and uses like some arcane script to write mama

in like a silver font. Oh, I throw it over my shoulders. And to the, Kate, You put it on your back. Can I talk to the tailor? I want to give them kind of the rough designs for a green night formal uniform, but with some gray night modifications. Okay, basically just like, I'm picturing like a formal

military garb with like, you know, like big golden epilets, but they'd be silver, kind of some of those like, chains that hang off of some of those like chains that hang off of a shoulder, like you know a cloak that goes over once leave, and then like you know like a side saber. You see he nods and takes a ton of notes, and with any other tailor,

this would take weeks to complete. Of course. But this dude is a bit of a mage and is able to combine some magical materials together and through a spell weaves them all together. I'm gonna say Bev, your outfit's gonna cost about 300 gold. Okay. Hard one you probably spend about 20 gold on your stuff. I'd actually like to change mine.

Okay. Instead of like a pantsuit, I want to do a black velvet body suit. Okay. Yes. Put together a black velvet body suit for you. That'll just cost like 20 gold like hard ones. Okay. Ballnor.

I'm thinking like a Beyonce one maybe kind of. A single glove. Ballnor. I know you still have to go shopping, but here's a little hard to me down. I don't need these anymore with my new eyes. I give Balnor my dark vision. Oh. Oh. Whoa. Uh, Balnor puts them on. They're not super effective during the day. Yeah, right on.

You look cool though. Hey, thanks. I might just get a cape. Is that okay? Please. Do it, dude. Um, yeah, Balnor, you should definitely get a cape. Boundlor gets a cool university cape. I just figured, because I was like a university fan, like I kind of like, like I'm like a fan now.

You're a uni guy. You're a uni guy. Yeah. You're just trying to make it cool. College dad, I want to whisper to the tailor and I slip him my old shield of arrow catching and I slip a little design along with it. And then when it's ready, I present a shield with a tuna

emblazoned on it. Wow. How the tuna catching. Wow. Wow. The tuna catcher. So many hand-me-downs today. I'm so done.

Can I actually... The only dad who gets hand-me-downs. Can I buy? I want to buy him something new. I want to buy him one of those fish on the wall that sings. You do not. You see the tail of his.

That is within my capabilities, but I must say whatever you need. Two platinum. Two platinum it is. Don't worry, we haven't even gotten through the Ren account. I think I'm gonna give the Ren account to Mama. That's smart. Yeah. Yeah, pay it forward. Yeah. Does give you a, what was that called?

Big mouth billy bass. Yeah, Big mouth billy tuna. It gives you a big, a big Tim, Tim, Timy tuna. Turbo, Turbo tongue big Tim Jimmy tuna Turbo turbo tongue Timmy to It sings snow patrol just a little piece of tuna Here my just laying here. I dance my heart out if I fillet here If I just fillet here balknor is laughing his ass off If I just play here, Boundore is laughing his ass off.

See, not everything's in the empty. Just like the song, the tune is sings. It's freaking hilarious, man. It's a hammy up. We're gonna live to regret this, personally. Yeah. Instantly plays it again. If I play here, if I just play here,

this is so funny, it just never gets old. It's crazy how it never gets old. It's magic, but it only knows one song. Place it two more times, and it goes, all right, that's enough. Put it in the bag here. It gets rocked in the bag. It's like, again, if I play here, if I just play here.

Dear God, what have we done? Would you hang on? Let me turn the bag this way. If I play here. What horror have you at least upon ourselves? I get it. If I fully he would horror have you at least to one or so go if I just lay here. I want to show my mom all our new outfits. Oh, so um, well, Skry is the one is one.

Yeah, you can just spy on your mom. Okay, well, um, what have we got together? It took a little, like, had a little painting down of us and then sent an animal messenger to her. That's great. Do we see like a character artist anywhere? Um, there are certainly quick character artists. You walk back away from the nobles.

You mean just an artist? There you go. Artists down at the creek. And you see that Cudair is getting his portrait done with his new high-elven girlfriend. She is drawn with super big muscles as Tarzan and he is Jane in her arms as they swing through the jungle. That is hilarious baby. Yeah, no, it's fucking funny. You shit. Look at us. Damn, I love this story. I'm going to girl friends name hey y'all this my new wife Surrilla

Sparilla Yeah You know you say you want to get married she says she wants to get married It was the most wild nights of my life She wants to get married. It was the most wild night of my life No winning glade home Mary a high oh Yep, that's what the throw pillow in our stump says yeah Anyway, you see one of the petries is doing caricature art

Moonshine you want one of my fancy paintings. Yeah, can you do one of your oil paintings that on me and my friends? I can do one with the fancy sticks. He basically has crayons If you don't mind busting out and sharpening up them fancy things. Oh, you want me to sharpen them up? Well, that's gonna cost you 10 brown leaves. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna give you 20 all right That's how good I want it to be Petri sharpens his crayons And does a Material them crayons. You know what? I'm gonna roll and see how good of a good of a job. Petri sharpens his crayons and does a material them crayons. You know what? I'm gonna roll and see how good a good of a job Petri does. Please not 20 please not 20.

Natural 17. Petri does a pretty damn good job. It is it is boardwalk style so it is a caricature like a hard one your ears are really big. This is more offensive. I do have big feet, it's true. Yes, feet are super big and him and Baleno are super short. Moon Giant has a football for some reason. Thought I'd draw you as a football player. I like it, I'll play. Alright, so we just bubble this up.

And then I got an animal, I cast animal messenger to send it back to the streets You see a wise owl flies in takes your very stupid picture and begins flying it towards hill Go with honor towards your sacred purpose Before we leave hard one I was wondering if you could deliver this very important parcel to Mama and it's at Ren's Platinum. It would be my honor. I Walk over to Mama bow deeply my champion you bow to no one I bow to the one true queen Wow nice cape that is amazing. Oh, do you like it? I love it. Got it expressly to impress you. I'm extremely impressed.

I come during a gift from moonshine. You presents the platinum. It's 14 platinum. It was 16, but I spent two on Billy the Tuna. Oh my God. I know you have many slides to build. Yes, this will go a long way towards building the parliamentary water park. One day in happier times, when there's peace upon this world, I would love to slide down

a water slide with you on my lap, my queen. We wouldn't even need a double tube. You could just be in a regular tube and I could sit in your lap. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wise, graceful and hilarious. She licks your face. I long for a day when the only waves of conflict in this world are those in the waif pool.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Beautiful bed. Put that on a plaque for right when you enter the water park. Please. So you guys say you goodbyes to Mama and Erdan. You go back to your stupendous stump. And is there anything else you would like to do before you leave? I'm going to slide into a little trance

because I've been kind of a... You've earned it. I've been spending my spells like they were burning a whole my pocket today. You know, actually, I'm a little sleepy. I might trance as well. Heartburn takes a four hour nap. Skits fully nude. Heartburn had to wake up at 10-30 today.

Forget her day and showed up. Oh, trance so hard, man. I was fucking out. So, Munchine takes your trance. You guys rest up. Sun begins to go down and Luc, Lucana, um, shows up in your stump. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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Are we ready everyone? Hey, look on us. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Are we ready everyone? Hey, Luconis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, thanks so let's do it. Let's go to the astral plane. All right, to the cosmos. Oh, yeah, to the cosmos. Lips is a harm up.

Right on. Cast a teleportation spell on the three of you and Balnor and pop off course Yes, and you guys disappear out of your stupendous stump and arrive in a Strange world out in open space of purple Silver skies. I'm you guys your looks look look it looks cool here. It's glow in the dark.

It's glow in the dark. What do you guys think my cape looks? You see I'm Balmer Jossles the bag and you hear it? If I play here, if I play it's kind of taking the magic out of this spot. If I just play here, take out the battery. I'll try to take it as it touches it as it if I just play here. I can't play. I'm playing two-foot complainant for that. So you guys know that somewhere,

Momo doesn't have quite enough money. The slide doesn't finish. So you guys know the astral plane is the sort of plane our space between the inner and the outer planes So to describe it in kind of simpler terms think of the entire like world scape as an Adam the outer planes were like Polar and like the more powerful gods are are like the electrons way on the outside. Then the nucleus is the material plane and it's reflections like Shadowfell and the Feywild. And then in the middle

there is like the astral plane just kind of filling in the space. So you guys see you're in the strange world with purple silver skies. You see glowing white lights that look like distant stars and you are floating here. It feels sort of like the lucid dream you had with the void dragon, but there's something to the gravity here. It's not nearly as hard to fly as it was when you were doing that like intelligence test. You kind of merely think about where you're going, and then you begin to float there. It takes a little getting you to do. You're still like moving your legs.

It's starting to look. Beverly thinks about being tall. That doesn't do anything. Okay, you just start moving, you just start flying up. I'm going to just keep running into a wall. Yeah. Well, around doing that, I don't know. There are like no walls here at all.

You like hit a meteor. Like, how are you biking into anything? That was the awesome. Tell me, I think it's not my fault. I think it's something's broken up here. Yeah, hang on, Moonshan, you gotta go this to where I bump into the bag. If I flay here.

I thought we took the battle. I thought I did. No. Hey, it's magic. You have the guy created out of magic. Is there a soul in there? If it goes off one more time, I'll take another. I know it's a tuna.

It's the soul of a tuna. I see it so early. You guys see around you is mostly nothingness, except tiny bits of stone and debris floating. Your eye is drawn to a big floating rock moving slowly like an asteroid through space. A top it is a keep. The astral keep that was referred to in the note. It seems to be melded by the same material that produces the asteroid. This very dark brown color almost black. And look kind of leads you guys. You

just think about going that way and you're able to fly forward. Kind of like the void dragon thing. You can use your intelligence to go faster. So you can do like intelligence roles. If you want to like zip super fast. Otherwise, you can just kind of move your speed. I kind of want to be bad for a little bit.

Okay. Okay. Personally. Hard one, do you want to race? Yeah. You don't want to go against my intelligence You guys are definitely right. All right, I'll race. We're gonna fucking race. Yeah, all right. All right. Let's race. Lucana's very well. Excel C. Or Net 20 You've been skipping you've been skipping the best use of a net 20 ever I'm going to try what you got. 15. You got a 12, but I have a minus one to it. Oh my god.

I have an 11. You see, you guys shoot off. Boundorn hard one lagging behind hard. They bump into each other. If I flake here. I can't handle this. This is brutal. This is not, do we want to destroy it?

Do you want to just throw into space? We can just throw into space. I have to spend two final on that. All right, that's it. You've got to keep it. If we're going to get it, we're going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it., do we want to throw? I'm going to destroy it. Do you want to just throw into space? We can just throw into space. Hey, Aspen, do it.

All right, that's the only way. We've got to keep it. If we're decided to keep it, we've got to live with it. Look, why don't we just put it up in the stupendous stuff? We can't. I got an idea. I pull it out of the bag. I shove a sock in its mouth.

Sock goes in its mouth. You see, that was my sock. Munchine is in third place, Lucanus and Beverly rocket forward. As you guys get close to the keep, Bev, you click your yippy-skippy boots together and bust out just a little bit past Lucanus. I make a toad noise.

And land first, and Lucanus goes, you cheated, that was cheap. That was cheap. I was cheap with the boots. What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those?

What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those?

What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those?

What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? What are those? Pops, I love seeing you be petty. Oh, that's a dirty daddy. That's a dirty daddy. That's a dirty daddy. She goes right this big stone keep. So you guys enter the keep and you see servants from Iron Deep wearing simple gray robes. Iron Deep was the one that called the meeting. So it seems they probably brought more people, brought along some help.

And the dwarf greeting you, hard one, is a dwarf that you know who used to be a dwarf in, named Nerman, and you know him from the dwarf in itch. This was a dwarf who got you, you did that like cowardly team thing where the one kid who was nice to you, you were mean to him so that you could be cool with the cool kids Shit, that's nerdy Nervin He looks really buff walks over doesn't totally recognize you because you're a half elf now and he looks kind of confused at the sort of weird mix of party and he goes

at the sort of weird mix of party and he goes, Hi, can I help you, who are you representing? And Lucana's, we are representing Glade Home. And Nerman's eyes kind of go wide and he goes, oh well the king will be quite happy to have you. We weren't expecting the high elves to be here. And then you see. It's actually just the elves now. Oh, interesting.

You see Nerman looks over at you, hard one. Huh, you look like a guy that I grew up with, but a little different. I say in Torven, same guy. Hard one, you look great, man. You look super cool. Hey, you look good too, man. Wow, you still taking further an eye or deep than any man or dwarf before him? Easy does it, easy does it. Yeah, he starts like, hey guys, it's hard one, hard one's back. You see a few of the servants, because like, these are dwarves who aren't very connected,

so they end up becoming servants. So you do know, you recognize some faces, you probably recognize about a quarter of these dudes as being from the Dwarf and Edge. They go, there's old Nerman and hard one best friends. So there he is talking up his friend. Yeah, we weren't pretty close back then, huh? Hard one? I feel he really could flick that. Look at him, my tall friend. Big hard one and little Nerman. You know what? Yeah, it's me and Nerman.

Nerman's the man. Nerman, you must know so many stories about hard one at the door finish. Oh, regala's Nerman. Yeah, so cool it, cool it. We have a war council to attend. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We'll catch up soon, Nerman.

I owe you an apology, but I'll give it to you later. Just like one of those dudes that is so friendly that isn't even really aware when people are being me-do-him, just like, I don't know, we were really good friends. I don't know what you owe me an apology for. Not keeping in touch, I guess. I give Nerman our secret hand shake, which is just sort of nodding at each other because I don't want the other people to see me touch. Yeah.

You see, Nerman takes you guys through a simple stone passage that feels more like a cave than a hallway. It takes you up some stairs and into a little alcove. These box seats with a balcony. That makes it almost feel like a theater. There are chairs and a small table, lanterns burning, white light. They light up the alcove and the room at large. You guys look over the railing into the room below and see that it's essentially this big cavern with all of these boxes essentially this big cavern with all of these boxes outside of each one is a banner for each of the cities. You see that more than half of the boxes are empty

with flags from Gladeron and Ezri, basically any city or smaller town that is on the east side of the main continent. You look across the big cavernous room and you see sitting with the Iron Deep representatives is Mimaw, because she went to Iron Deep. So you see she's kind of helping advise King Grim Thor McGannes. You also see along with them is Jaina Bronzebeard and Ulfgarh.

Even though they were up in Frost Wind, but they're both from Iron Deep. So when they came together here they went and sat in the Iron Deep section. You see King Grimthormigannus wearing a breastplate and a white cape. He's this older dwarf with a gray beard and a King's hammer at his side. You also see joined by a bunch of guards and attendants is King Cyrus Coldain from Frostwind. He wears a blue cape with a breastplate of ornate platinum. Frostwind is way richer and way better off than Iron Deep. His skin is light purple and his beard is pure white.

This is Gerard Coldain's father. And you also see with him is the paler prince. Gerard Coldain's younger brother, Cyril Koldain, who just kind of looks like this wienery little dwarf who identical to his brother. Truly. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Who just kind of like looks off board,

just kind of this spoiled dwarven kid who doesn't seem like a very good fighter. You see that there are also lesser lords and reefs of smaller cities as well, but the dwarves are kind of the main military forces here. The Crick and Glade Home, you guys are basically representing them, so there's really no other elves. But still, there are hundreds of people here,

many representatives, guards, champions, and advisors. Star spawn. There are no star spawn there. But yeah, there are like smaller cities and stuff that aren't as big as like big capitals, like Iron Deep and Frostwind and things like that. Are there any Pebblepots in attendance? Yes, Dolores Pebblepots is there on behalf

of the Hill Home Halflings. Do they look like they're avoiding the edge of the Hill Home Halflings. Do they look like they're avoiding the edge of the opera box? She is, she is just straight up sitting in the iron deep section. Probably it does not trust her guards or servants to properly guard her. So you do see that the Hill Home section is empty because she's crowded. It checks out. And you, I'm gonna go ahead and Have Mima do a perception check

That's a net one Mima does not see you guys. No, she looks pretty. We wave at her. I drop a titty I won't make a scene. I'll make a scene So maybe I could write it. I mean it war council sounds kind of serious, but Mima You yell out across a gavern it echoes series but me ma! You yell out across the cavern, it echoes. You see everyone was just kind of like very serious and quietly talking amongst themselves and Luke kinda goes, oh, my moochine don't, and you hear from across, moochine, what are you doing here?

Well, I want the, I want the wizard turning out here. Oh look at you, winning the wizard turner. Check out my new black velvet jumpsuit, body suits. Oh, that's cool as hell, Moonshot. I'm so proud of you. Yeah. I'm like a hog and shit over here. I'm just echoing through the cavern.

All right, Jolene, that's enough. I think don't tell me what to do. Yeah, don't tell, here what to do. Don't tell, yeah, you, that's enough. I think don't tell me what to do. Yeah, don't tell, I hear what to do. Don't hint. Yeah, you tell that father of yours to back off. I don't even know why he's here. I'll tell y'all, will. Alright, everyone stop. Just all this is giant scene echoing through the cavern.

I bump into Belnor's back. If I play here, it echoes so much. Bounder drops it on the alcove. Any jobs. I used to help him use his foot to tie it back. As you used to, like, Anisa, the button is forced down. Oh, no, it does play fully through as the rest of the room is completely silent.

I'll play fully through again as you pull it back. Where did the sock go? Did it hit it? I'm so confused. I get play fully through again as you pull it back. Where did the sock go? Did it hit it? I'm so confused. I give a 10 second long blink. I give a 10 second long blink. Everyone is super quiet and embarrassed. You guys see Jaina Bronzebeard and Ulfgar

give you guys little nods without making as much of a scene. After everyone is settled, you see the iron deep box separates itself from the wall and levitates to the center of the room. You can imagine it works not dissimilarly to how you're able to fly yourselves here. If you have like mental power strong enough, you could probably move some rocks along with you. And you see everyone quights down as King Grimthor McGannis and his advisors

take center stage in the middle of the room on this floating platform. And King McGannis addresses the room with a big booming voice that echoes throughout the cave. People of the free cities, the chosen are marching on Iron Deep. They'll be at our doorstep in a few days time.

We don't have enough soldiers to face them head on, but we're likely to face a siege if we don't. I'm asking for your help. We can attack them when they're traveling through the eastern valleys. They have airships so we won't be at a complete advantage, but it's our only hope. And you hear King Col dain speaks and it's just, there's this natural projection to the room just because you're in this big cavern. So kind of any small noise is pretty loud so everybody's being very quiet

and when people talk it's just like projecting super loudly and you see from his box, King Col dain speaks up and he goes, We do not care about Chosen. Devil killed my son. There are reports that orcs are gathering in Ausmodia south of you that this problem number one. And McGannis goes, I agree that Ausmodia is a problem itself but the Chosen are at our doorstep. Perhaps then the Summer Dwarfs should not have hold themselves up in the mountain where they could just be stuck. Could be regular city then, huh? You see some of the Frost Dorfs laugh, and King Grimthor McGannis just kind of looks upset.

And suddenly you hear another voice go, I don't agree with the way that he's saying it, but I have to concur with King Coldain. You see another box removes itself from the cave wall, and you see McGannis kind of just size, and the iron deep alcove rejoins the wall. This other little rock island floats towards the center. This is a representative from a small port city called Ramosit, which translates from Elvish

into Storm City. It's south of Gladehome. Their banner is Aquamarine with a white wheel. The representative is a woman with a fancy billowy hat. A finely made red cloak and baggy trousers. She carries a cutlass at her side. Looks like a mix of a merchant and a pirate with long black hair and gray streaks. I'm in love. You guys can go ahead and give me history checks to see if you would know who this is.

18. 15. 13. Hard one. You have heard of her because you are from the western side of Bohemia, you are from Iron Deep, and a lot of like iron workers and, you know, blacksmiths and stuff definitely send things down to Rameset, so you would know this as Mesna Valtric. This is Mesna Valtric.

She's amazing. And you see Mesna addresses the crowd. Ramosit is closer to Asmodia than any of the major cities. They are gathering an army. What exactly they're up to? We don't know. Any scouts we've sent haven't come back. But we have all gotten word that Ilsaid is alive in the Nine Hells.

What else would these orcs be doing but helping him? We don't know the extent of ill said's powers currently, but a normal Necromancer can raise the dead. What could a Necromancer demigod do? The devil wants to destroy all life on earth. The Allah wants to rule us. Which would you rather have? And you hear kind of a collective confused murmur from people and she goes,

now now I'm not saying anything long term, but I propose that we work with the chosen temporarily to deal with this ill-said problem. And you see the dwarves of Iron Deep are very upset about this, but everyone else is just kind of quiet. That sounds like a really dumb plan. Hardly, your voice echoes through the cave, and you see Mezna looks confused.

You do see that, and you would know this, because you've heard of her. She is a half-elf. There are a lot of half-elves in Ramosid because, you know, Glade Home before you guys got to it was very much about like the pure blood of the high elves and stuff. So there are a lot of half-elves that have settled there in this port city and they come there with nothing and then they're able to become merchants or they become pirates or something like that. She looks up at you have settled there in this port city, and they come there with nothing, and then they're able to become merchants, or they become pirates or something like that.

She looks up at you and she goes, sorry to be presumptuous, but from the looks of your beard, my half-elven brother, you couldn't possibly be from Gladehome. You know I'm from Iron Deep actually. And you see, Ulfgar starts bashing his axe, like the handle of his axe on the ground.

And you see like a few of the guards and stuff and people that are with McGannis that are probably more like royal dudes. He used to make fun of you, see Ulfgar kind of banging his weapon and they start banging it in support of you. I raised my fist at Ulfgar. Yeah, brother.

And Lucana Scose, he is part of my traveling party, and I am the representative from Glade Home. And I grant him permission to speak on our behalf. Yeah, and I also agree what he said. Just about how nice he look. You see King Col dain speaks up, and he goes, I might have to agree with our friend from Ramasit here. And you see the dwarf from Iron Deep are like groaning

and getting all angry. And he goes, I pray to only one God. That is more than the creator of dwarves. However, if the other does not make me bend the knee, if we just work together for military operation, I would be open to it. And you hear some of the other smaller cities and stuff begin kind of murmuring in agreements. And you see Mimaw from the Iron D platform speaks up and she goes, we can't trust the chosen after everything they've tried to do.

Look, there are other allies we haven't considered. What if we went up and tried to broker a deal with the giants? What if we, and you hear instantly called in and is like, oh yes, for us to go talk to giants. We have been at the war with them since they have existed. Maybe you, you all living in summer, forget what the giants did. Giants attack my wall every day. What about the Fey?

You see, um, Mima agrees like, yeah, and um, everybody kind of murmurs in confusion. We got some Fey that was some Fey first. I won't get it, I'm gonna get the woman. You see Grimthor McGannis, the king goes, why would the Eladron of the Feywild help us? We're not talking about the Eladron. We're talking about all of the refugees of Galatoron that went there and have been multiplying

and growing in strength over the Feywild years. There's a whole force and untapped potential there. But also the Aladdin, actually, I do think that we could get and list them because we did a big favor there. I think you and my friend Moonshine should discuss it privately.

Yeah. I, I'll discuss. Mezna. And you see Me mesna waves her hands Look it would be wonderful if in some fairy tale world some Aladdin would swoop in out of nowhere That's exactly what the Feywild is. Yes, that is exactly what the Feywild did is it is a world of dreams But we need to live in the now even with a Lajren or

but we need to live in the now, even with Aladdin or their fancy little games. Who knows if we'd even be able to trust them? Okay, we- What about a monster caravan in the Shadowfell? My associate here happens to be very tight with the lord of the Shadowfell. Oh yeah, that's true. She's my mommy.

You see, there's a general kind of murmur of confusion. And then you see these very pale, weird people with bald heads lean forward. He is telling the truth. We have spoken to the shadows. That's right. Look, the star bone is queen of shadow foam. He does not long.

Forgive me, who do you represent? Yeah, what are you? My fine serers and madams. These guys are from like an underground He just not long. Forgive me. Who do you represent? Yeah, what are you? My fine serres and madams. These guys are from like an underground necromancy guild in Esri that at one time might have been kind of bad guys, but now they actively hate the chosen

and they don't worship the devil or anything. So they're not really on osmodeous side either. Okay, look, nobody likes the devil. We can all agree on that. Everyone starts saying, yes, a great devil is bad. We're not going to be able to fight the devil if you let the olive pick off our allies one by one. What do you think happens after she takes iron deep? There doesn't have to be bloodshed is what I'm saying. If we broker some sort of deal. You don't broker a deal with someone who calls themselves a god. You see, Mesna just kind of sighs and goes, I don't want to be caught in between these

two forces. I'm only looking out for my people and I'm sure a lot of you are too. Everyone is out here looking out for their people and that's the god damn problem. Yeah. We got to look out for everybody. Otherwise, we're all fucked. Ain't that true? You hear Jane of Bronzebeard.

Here, here. And a bunch of other people go here, here, start here. Here, right on. I bang a javelin against the floor and accidentally drop it into the business. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. It falls, Balmer goes to try to grab it. I can't believe that.

The Billy Bass, for the Tommy Tune, it falls out. God damn it, that's all the word. If I play here, it's just really who we're trusting. I know that, allowing ourselves with theala seems like a good choice. I myself am a paladin and I wheeled the holy arts as well. And I see how you would be tempted by their abilities. They're masterful demonslayers by trade, but that's the easy way.

And that will lead us further down the path of destruction than you could ever imagine. You see, Mezna kind of just lowers our head. A lot of people kind of like murmur and agreement and you see Lucana swocks forward and he goes, and I'm sure many of you weren't expecting Glade Home to show up here, but you have the elves. You have the elves, you have the Feywild, you have Shadowfell, and you see Iron Deep is starting to look a little bit more confident. And Cyrus Coldenne, the King Coldenne is not a bad guy. He's just kind of pragmatic,

and just you can tell he really wants revenge on Akarad. He was kind of clearly filled in by Jane and Ulfgar when they got back to Frostwind. Coldain, you can trust us. We want revenge too. Yeah. Beverage. More than anything, my father was taken by the Nine Hells. This is personal for me.

As personal as it is for all of you. Um, bev, go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage. Persuasion? Yep. Okay. 26. This is Christ. He's a good boy.

You see, Coden, nods, nine Nine Hills, Dake Your Father. Yes. There's a chance I'll never get in back. You see, Koldane just kind of nods to himself and Mesna goes, look, we can all have our emotional sob stories and what not, but I'm a realist, okay? She's so cows, so cute.

Look, why don't we put it down to a vote? Yeah. Sure. I'll do it. Everyone agrees to a vote. Everybody bangs their javelins and hammers and axes and swords. So Mesna begins going city by city. You see a few of the smaller cities that are definitely afraid of the

all-in stuff, vote yay, votes to go with the all-ah. I'm writing their names down. Iron Deep, of course, votes nay. They go for you guys. Fuck the all-ah. Iron Deep, bangs their weapons. They go through, it is mostly nay at this point, but it gets to frost wind. And you know that there are a lot of eyes on King Cyrus Col d'Ain because he is the biggest army. A lot of people will fall into line

kind of based on what he does. And he takes a long think about it. And then he looks up at Beverly. And not at him. And then he looks at the room. And he goes, uh, nay. Yes. Yeah. Yes! Yeah! Yeah! I lose another javelin. I'm gonna fall over. If I play here, I don't know.

I think he magically shat to this. We have to return it. Muchin, we have to return it. Yeah, but we're gonna turn it all you have to have my flat on back. I'm begging you. So you see Mezna shakes her head and she goes, if you can't listen to reason, then you will just have to be eliminated.

Sinners! I fucking knew it. You see, Mesna transforms from her pirate merchant look into a woman with yellow blonde hair and bright plate mail painted with white with a gold sword painted on the front two wings sprout from the Allah's back and the other four Attendance on her platform transform into chosen angels. You see servants and attendance in each of the boxes Revealed themselves as chosen angels and begin attacking the lords in their guards.

And the lesser ones just get red-wet-wedding to right there. They're just like two weeks to stop. I throw a javelin. Who do you throw a javelin at? Theala. Sweet. Yeah, go ahead and throw a javelin at theala. Oh dear, I'm gonna get fucked, aren't I?

In 11? 11. You throw a javelin at theala, she catches it in her hand, um, and just tosses it to the side. You see, Othgar roars and leaps from the platform down into the middle towards theala, just fucking devil-make care. Theala, we finished this now! Um, you see, as angels flood into the boxes, Jaina Bronzebeard draws her hammer and, um,

like holds, uh, King McGannis back. Mima turns into a bear and leaps forward, grabbing one by the neck. Two angels begin charging in towards your box and Lucana holds up his hand. I can deal with these two. I'm gonna fungal form and fly my way to theala. Everybody jumping in the fight with me.

I wanna call my dorf daddies as I fly in. So you guys all dive from the balcony, joining Ulfgar as you converge on theala and her angels in the middle. You see, as you go to engage her, she has a hammer at her side and a shield on her back. But instead, she elects to pull out two great swords. Normally, a one-handed weapon, she easily wields one

in each hand. God damn it. And that's where we'll end our episode. Oh! Oh! I cannot believe we are here! Fuck this, God! Oh, yeah, for real.

God damn it. God damn part of it. You know, if you still come around and then I could still God date her something else. You gotta stop trying to re-hate. Go ahead, take that. I'd also go back to that salt of the earth half bell from the horse.

I'm just saying the pirate guard was doing it for me and the streak of gray hair. What? Okay, guys, thank you guys so much for listening. Go on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod. That's NADD, POD, let's know a short rest. Don't sing yet, please. Please just don't sing yet, promise. Guys. mad pod that's n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- And now, you might be shit out of luck, but I think there's still tickets left for our New York show. So September 12th, we're gonna be in New York. We'll see you guys soon.

We're super excited for our Narifly Effect tour. Thank you guys so much. Check out Hot Date is coming back to Pop TV for second season of September 20th. You can watch episodes live when they come out on Pop TV. We're gonna be having two come out every week. Or you can just go to the pop now app and watch all 10 episodes the day they drop. Why not?

Called all you got anything to plug? How's those epis? I would like to plug our PO box and all the wonderful gifts we've received there. Oh yeah. Here we go. I got a long list. Hope that's all right with you all. Yeah.

Thank you very much to Champagne, who sent us lovely letters and painted minis of Boundor and Old Cobb, delicately crafted. They're beautiful. Adam and Jessica are, sent us Chris Bergscherts in the Frazier font. Who are you not afraid to done that, shit? We were recording with, who were, we were recording with Zach at the time

and for a second he was confused and then we were like Ork Frazier remember I'm kind of your character and then he was fully on board. They also sent us a Steelers pop-up that's pop-up with a Steelers jersey. It's cute as hell. I'll bring them to the game You got actually moving choice. It's gonna get beer spilled all over him Thank you to Mel for some amazing marker drawings of hard one saying, what do we say to the God of Death? Watch this. Yeah, buddy. Also one of them falling in the mud and a hand drawn.

I threw that one away. Just kidding, I love that one too. And a hand drawn pop-off card. You can find more of Mel's work at Lady Blah Blah on Instagram. Thank you to Chris H. for sending a bunch of Pittsburgh supplies. People are excited about Pittsburgh. Yeah. People, I'm excited about Pittsburgh.

Hell yeah. Chris sent us a dice bag, a terrible towel, a neighborhood guide, and a collection of local phrases. Thanks Chris. Yins, Pittsburgh, Yins are good folk. Oh Chris H. also sent us a stuffed ram in memory of Ryan. That is the softest little stuffed animal I've ever held. That's what I'm bringing to the stealing game.

We're all gonna be at the stealing game. Stuffed animals. Get on my plushies brutally beaten by the stealing sand. It is Veal Soft but hard one, please do not eat it. Guardian of Light, Zach H sent us Dungeons and Dragons DVD double feature. That's the D&D movie with, I believe, Marlon Wands. Like, spoil me. Spoil me. We are absolutely doing that, right?

We have to. We have to. Yeah, no question. And then also the sequel, the Straight to DVD sequel, Dungeons and Dragons, Wrath of the Dragon God. So we got that one to look forward to as well. Joseph P sent an old Navy gift card for Mer. God damn it.

That's so funny. Thank you, Joseph P. I cannot wait to take you shopping. I'm gonna buy a vest. I know. That's a good guy. I actually might just buy underwear or something, some basics.

No, we're getting you a Polar Tech vest. Fine. You get a waist vest. Check out what you guys would be underwear. It's a body tighties. Junk vest. Taylor from iOS and it's a very nice note. Taylor sent us all individual dice bags

that we had to guess which one we were. We were. They were little puzzles. And Taylor, we all guessed correctly. Actually, we did. You guessed entirely correct. I guessed first because I was also like, because mine is made of bully-wug skin

and I'm telling you people, this is a texture to behold. Ooh, it's iridescence. And I have been rolling with these dice for the past couple episodes and they have been treating me right. I like my dice so much. I stole hard ones. Wow.

Yep. Ah. Jonah S actually listening overseas in deployment set us a nice letter. Jonah asked for tips on how to get a group interested that's never played before. Oh, everybody wants to play D&D. Nobody wants to DM, you got to DM.

Yeah, that's it. You got to DM. It's you DM. They will come. Wow. That's true for anybody. Yep. That is the true, that is the true,

you got to like the beacon. Yes. Scent on social media. Maddie, send us a cool postcard from China featuring a cool painting of a cat and some cock calls. Yeah. Kathleen, Kathleen and Timothy send us a wedding invite to their lovely wedding in Spencer, Massachusetts.

We'll be there. We'll be there in spirit. We all get plus ones, right? Yeah. I also, while you're doing this, I want to give a shout out in Spencer, Massachusetts. We'll be there. We'll be there in spirit. We all get plus ones, right? Yeah. I also, while you're doing this, I want to give a shout out to Alex from Germany, who made me a moonshine doll,

an amazing clay pop-up to go along with it. And someone recently on Patreon asked if there's a reason that I've been talking about pop-up more on the episodes. And it's because ever since Alex sent me that I've been having my little clay pop-up next to me. So I'm thinking about pop-up all the time. You're always giving them little Switches. I do that. My little pop-up. Elliott L sent us a little note asking if we were ever going to do a show in Arizona. We should do a Phoenix show. That's a great city. I'm gonna be in Arizona. I'm gonna be in Phoenix Scottsdale. I'm gonna have a little

fun in Arizona. Go to see Flags. Go to see Flags. Go to see Dolan. That's a great city. Yeah, we can like sit on crystals. So many crystals. Yeah. We should do a trinity. We should do a trinity. We should do a trinity. Holy shit. We trinity bill. Holy shit, I mean, we're gonna go to Phoenix and then we're gonna go. Trinity bill is slipped down. Trinity bill is slipped down. Trinity bill is slipped down. The crystal lovers.

I'm gonna start every morning with a sound bath. They don't have showers in the hotels, they just have sound baths. Call the link on anything else. That is it. Thank you so much. If you would like to send us stuff, you can do it at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue,

number two to two, Los Files, California. Nine, zero, zero, two, seven us stuff, you can do it at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number two, two, two, Los Files, California. Nine, zero, zero, two, seven. Jake, you got anything? I tell you what, for anybody that's still listening now, just good on you. Thanks for the food. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks guys, I love you. Flaw. Flaw. Thank you guys so much. Flaw. Follow us on Twitter, at CHMurf is me, at Call these Call the Bull, at the Extra Demole, at Shake Her Wits is Jake,

and you can tune about the show using hashtag,ADPA that's NADDPOD. We are we are, the youth of the nation, we are we are, the youth of the nation. Hey friends, called well here to shout out our benevolent council of elders, let's get to it. Brad D, the only pebble pup that isn't Craven, calls their family every Sunday to make sure they're doing well and also to remind them not to bend the knee to Theala. JLOMA's 72, aka Steelbreaker, hard ones gym inspiration. Beverly once joined Steelbreaker for a workout session and got so sore he had to be carried in the bag of holding for a week afterward.

Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, uses the blood of their foes to fertilize their stunning award-winning topiaries. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard-won senior portrait at the dwarf inage, was also working as a caricature artist in Glade Home, but got kicked out for drawing beards on every customer. Spencer Casperu, patron elder of libations, al-maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike, recently collabed with Alonus on the world's first Vapable Tequila. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohumia. Also, the longest bear in all of Bohumia. That's right, Dan is a wear bear and he's tall as hell.

Hermes W, the Bat King, got lost on their way to the Astral Keep and ended up crashing on Pylor's sofa bed at his celestial guesthouse in the outer plains. Spartus, a radiator. Spartus wears sunglasses made of pure methril and kick flips into battle on a skateboard covered in the skulls of their foes. Adam R, the R-rated assassin, wears brass knuckles that say shit and fuck on them,

also refers to them exclusively as ass knuckles for no reason whatsoever. Danielle, the dastardly dame. Danielle is so dastardly, she loaned the Elven King all of her rare armor and weapons before his duel and it still wasn't enough. Don't worry Danielle, it's his fault, not yours. Hugh C. aka Haldoor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn and Fod alongside Elias and Red.

Haldoor fought so many giants that now have trouble fighting regular-sized foes because they always aim to high? Daniel U, aka Multi-Fore, the many-faced magician, doing much better in their life than their brother, several to the multi-footed mercenary. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, currently hosting one last Matrix-style Zion rave for everyone about to fight in the upcoming war for Bohumia. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, and ripper of cords. That's right, Jeff is a certified skydiving instructor.

If you're gonna jump, best jump with Jeff. Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy-turned-crick bark attack. Currently trying to figure out how to make the Glade Home Congressional Water Park as wet and wild as Elvenly possible. John S. aka Shuberth the Mushroom was recently hired by Brad D to serve as a nightlight for all his cowardly Pebblepot cousins. Ryan M. Hardwan's Ram was also waiting to reunite with Hard one in Gladeholm and watched tearfully as he chose Kalkaw instead.

Elena C. A wizard who can maintain concentration on two spells at once. Their secret? Deleting Instagram. It's just such a time suck, you know? Michael McD. Heading exologist at the Blue Manna Inn. Created a crick water and wine cocktail to celebrate the union of the elves, to remain sober after drinking it requires a DC-50 constitution check.

Woo! Andrew M. A frost-win bard currently writing a play about the two crew's exploits in the frigid north currently called boob's on ice. Victor T. Bounor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. However, unlike the Bohumi in Bounor, Victor's dad ended up getting trapped in a deck of magic-the-gathering cards and has yet to be released. Just in eye, a traitorous elf who was recently thrown into the dungeon for pointing at Mom on shouting, are you all crazy? She's a fucking possum! God-offeasy if you ask me.

Jacob C. A druid who uses the wild-shaped spell to run their own petting zoo. The kids don't suspect a thing, and the parents don't care because it's super cheap. Elena M. A mild magic sorcerer. Every time Elena casts a spell, they roll a D20 to see how many people are put to sleep by the boring efficiency of their arcane ability. McPucks, the amazing code master who programmed our website, recently attempted to teach Crick Young inside a code but had to give up after they somehow set a third laptop on fire. Earl and Kathleen L, a high elf and Crick elf who met at the Victory Festival, currently Honeymooning in a huge enchanted timeout sack.

Jive G, head of Mama's Royal Queensguard. Jive's armor has a built-in baby Bjorn for transporting the Possum Monarch to various diplomatic engagements. Jostrich, the Jock Ostrich, sworn enemy of the book-loving Dorkstork. Damial R, Ram Daniels evil twin. Their wool is used to make the penitent undergarments worn by all the chosen soldiers, and it is extremely itchy. Destincy, the only green teen with more patches than Beverly.

To be fair, they went to the Feywild and had 30 extra years to collect them, but Beverly is still super jealous. Devon B, the bodega lord, runs the only shop in all of the mortal plane where one can purchase the sinful eldritch concoction known as Forloco. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya's Disacquany, 7th of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio has a negative 2 to perception but doesn't need any roles to know that everybody's checking him out.

Michael L. The nasty's teen in Frostwinn for Michael L. Every day is Operation Nastylad. Sam H. O'onnes' dealer has such a high tolerance that Sam can snort bad arcane and only risk blowing up a single appendage. Wow. Traylae the the cray-fay, who nays? Traylae was recently polymorphed into a horse by an evil fairy and is desperately searching for someone to turn her back. Good luck, Traylae.

Aaron G, master of the banishment spell. Aaron is an extremely sore loser and is known to banish their opponents to the nine hells anytime they lose at stones. Jory S. A jacked wizard. Jory is so jacked that they're unable to cast any spell that requires lifting their arms above their head. Huh, that's a problem worth having if you ask me.

Alucard. A reverse Dracula. Alucard bites people and spits blood into them, arguably more dangerous than a regular vampire. Baby Doc. and spits blood into them, arguably more dangerous than a regular vampire. Baby Dock, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section, and the only cleric to revive themselves after said C-section went super wrong. Adam H, the strongest green teen, winner of the Jamboreen tug of war three years running. Ryan, hard ones ram, after being partially eaten by a hard one in Grimhawk, Ryan survived just long enough to be caught by a shell and turned into some plated soup.

Yum! Big Buck, pregnant Elk moonshines Elkin Baby, a monstrosity that wanders the Feywild, striking fear in the hearts of a ladren, trolls, and free fairy alike. Richard X Machina introduced the quick to dirt bikes. There's nothing Cudor loves more than tearing up some dirt and ruining everything in the ancient woods. Troy McCee, a young dwarf who has begun courting Irland. Do I smell a love triangle?

No, absolutely not. Huh. Cannibalistic Cthulhu, a giant monster who seeks to consume all souls and also is interested in Irland, do I smell a love square? Huh, this is romantic geometry that I'm not ready for! Sam L, a regular Asmigestion, Sam can't cast Wizard spells, but he can probably find your card in a deck. Dom R, one of Mesna's attendants who didn't realize she was Theola in disguise, but just kind

of rolled with it and attacked Ulfgar so no one would notice. Smart. Josh S. One of the dwarfs who picked on Hard One is a child. Josh is so nasty they quietly booed Hard One when he spoke at the War Council. Wow petty. Blitzbrigg Demetri, owner of Dwarggers Big Borgher. Blitzbrigg catered the Astral War Council and unfortunately it seems

like they're unlikely to get tipped. Caleb Storm, Cut Bearer, and Cords Great Hall. Occasionally swaps out Cords wine with grape juice so Cords doesn't get too drunk and try to wrestle them. Smart. Nicholas C has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohumia. Simultaneously the realm's greatest star and biggest has been. Mike H. Like the Allah can wield a great sword with one hand. It's not functional at all, but boy does it look cool. Matthew E. A terrible barbarian comic who has to go into a rage during their stand-up sets because they're frequently pelted with fruit. Samuel B, the finest fruit-thrower in Bohumia, has pelted Matthew E to the point of unconsciousness more than once.

Till for G, author of the hit children's book and movie, Ulfgar goes punch. The script for the movie was only five pages long because the source material is so short, but Till for Dmitri cool, 5 million platinum nonetheless. Guardian of Light, Zach H, Boh Bohumi is only Keyblade wielder. Once had to break Goofy's ribs and revive him in front of a group of horrified onlookers. Curtis S. the only other member of Erdan's Birdwatching Club. Curtis is planning on stealing Kaka from Erdan. Stay tuned.

Colton B. The greatest caricature artist at the Cric and thus the greatest artist at the Cric. Yens Christian T. Tott Jenslandell everything he knows, including his terrible attitude. Yens Christian T. is an extremely bad influence. Gage M. The last green teen left and glater on. Gage recently tried to hold a jamberine and was burned at the stake for witchcraft. Oh no! Aaron C. The homeless man that was used by the band of boobs to distract the chosen back

and go later on. Unfortunately, Aaron was sleeping in the pile of wood that was later used to burn Gage M. R.I.P. Aaron C. Montana Monarch once ruled the free fairy with an iron fist, which is why so many of them hate the government. Make sense? L&D, the fiercest woman in Bahumia, Ellen can win a fight with a mere stare because her eyes shoot lasers. TJ M, the gnome barbarian, fights with a tiny doll's axe. It's unclear why a doll had a functional axe to begin with, but TJ knows better than to

question fate. RPKB, R TJ knows better than to question fate. RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin, also contains a holographic message from Princess Leia, but theirs is just her grocery list. Taylor S. aka Trast the Traveler has literally walked a mile in another man's shoes. Afterwards Trast walked back to the hostel and apologized to the man for taking his boots by mistake. Anime intellect. Bohumi is number one graphics scroll collector, owns a very rare manga version of Beves

Dragon Anatomy book called Dragon Balls A to Z. Zolo Dollo, an oath of devotion paladin who stands in the front row at every kid cobalt concert and casts bless to make sure that the kid always kills it on their charisma checks. Nice. Joshua C. A knight who wears a haunted suit of armor. You might think wearing this armor would give Joshua special abilities, but it's haunted by the ghost of a dog, which is cute but annoying.

Larissa J. The Bohumian Elf on the shelf. Unlike the cute Christmas toys from our world, Larissa is a full-sized elf that watches your child. Basically, just a weird babysitter that you don't pay. Keep it up, Larissa. Dylan C. M. of the wannabe DM gave their players printouts of TS Elliott poems instead of character sheets. Why, Dylan? Why? Kelvin noodles. The pasta elemental. Kelvin is preparing an army of meatball barriens to fight their oldest foe. Brent, the lentil elemental. Be money, Balnor's hip hop alter ego. Currently collabbing on a song with his snow patrol singing tuna, and it is going poorly. J, an Arakakra Blue J, who hangs out on an airship

with a bullywug, a rabbit man, and a talking fox. Sure, it might just be a lazy ripoff of starfox, but the boobs need all the help they can get so they're not questioning it. Heartless Master, Il says Crulis Pit Demon, tortures souls by making them hop on the phone for conversations that could very easily be handled over email. A true sadist. CC Lulu, a Feywild yoga instructor,

is finding it much harder to do sun salitations after the boobs united the seasons and made the sun move again. Paul B, Ackarot's assistant, now has a new job as Pindergreens assistant, spends most of their day trying to scrub crusty scullywag residue off of the George Foreman. Barnes and Aitor, an enchanted barn similar to Leomun's tiny hut, can hold over 4,000

cows inside, a great spell with a terrible smell. Yasmeen aka the Yasmeenian Devil, defeated the Aerolemental Queen by spinning around until she turned into a tornado and also barfed a whole bunch. Eric G, a barbarian dentist. If you hate your teeth and need them gone fast, let Eric G punch you in the fucking face. Jackalope Audity, the drummer for Pintergreens' favorite new metal band, Rat Nuts. Jackalope cast mirror image on themselves before every set so that it looks like they're playing the drums way better than they actually are.

Zach C., a hungry wizard who invented the heroes' feast spell. Their staff is a 6-foot-long party sub, eating a foot of it restores all your spell slots. 8. Aiden R. Apple Scrumper's Mudboarding Coach. Currently making Scrumper Mudboard on Concrete, which is a clever idea in theory, but in reality has just led to a lot of scraped knees. Jeremy R, the bartending assassin for the SS Stormborn, fights with two daggers made from pre-shattered beer bottles. Upon hit, they each do an extra D6 of tetanus damage. L.E.K., leader of a group of rowdy goblins sworn to Pindagast. With their leader gone, Ellie and the other noblins now spend their days whacking mailboxes and shoplifting from

right aids. Luke H., a rat man whose life sucks even more than reds. Luke uses their airship to host drunken bachelor at parties. Sure, it's a terrible idea, but the pay is really good and eventually you get used to all the falling deaths. Ritterin, Kakka's former master. To get over Kakka abandoning them, Ritterin just adopted a crab named Klaakla. Sure, it's not a perfect pet, but they're in a real pinch. I'm hopeless, a down on their luck adventurer.

Roll a nat 20 on a perception check to see how deep a hole was, then rolled a nat 1 on their athletics check while attempting to jump over it. Ugh, been there. Timmy R, a fool's gold dragon. Timmy sits upon a massive horde of pyrite, costume jewelry, and chocolate Hanukkah coins, yum, melty. Alex M, a later on's new mayor,

who ran on a single platform of repealing the milk tax. They got 100% of the vote. Aaron RS, an orc who just opened as Modes first Ruby Tuesdays. Sure, it only serves rotten meat and blood soup, but the free salad bar makes it totally worth the trip. Lucas B., a rogue who hides in a cardboard box, solid snake style. Unfortunately, since cardboard doesn't exist in Bahumia, it's actually super conspicuous. Ruben A. Runs a gentleman's club for barbarians called the Strip Mall. If you can survive a

lap dance here, it's free. Jordan L. The greatest tuba player in Bahumia., basically John Philip Sousa, but in a full suit of gleaming brass playdarmer. Lara S, a star spawn mudboarder whose tricks are so sick the others nickname them, Narspawn. Jay Parker, the first player to hit a so-so sick trick playing the giant shredder game at Smuggler's bounty, literally unseated the previous high score who went only by the name Noor Spawn. Osten C. The Jester Mage. A sorcerer who imbues items with wild magic and wreaks havoc on the world. No surprise, Osten C. is the creator of Boundore's new singing trout, Waldecore.

Osten MR aka the butcher known as Bone Saw. Kater the war council and the Astral Keep, which is a real challenge because meat goes bad really quickly in the Astral Plane. Just a pissed off trist, aka touch it. Also thought the lady dressed up like a pirate who ended up being Theala was super hot before they ended up being Theala, you're not alone moonshine, don't worry about it. Kaleelice, the honey queen with a heart of gold, represented the honey lands in the Astral Keep and cast their vote in favor of the boobs plan. A crucial swing vote.

Dave J. aka Bellen the Bard, a traveling bard that follows the band of boobs around singing the tales of their exploits, feeling a little outdone by Ballonor's singing tune of this episode. Tough break, Bellon. Devin W. Head of the Glade Home Kings Armory has zero respect for the king, but gets to play with all the cool weapons when he's out of town, so sticks around for that. Chris H. Erdan's personal assistant, who Erdan is too polite to ask to do anything. Mostly just collects paychecks, while Erdan crumbles beneath mountains of responsibility.

Chenoa B, a glade home elf at the Kingsguard that called out Sick That Day because they were hung over from partying. Literally slept through the next day's duel as well. Chenoa Parties HARD. Sam H, the only dry cleaner who can safely clean a magical cloak like moonshines. Hope moonshine finds them, otherwise those enchantments are gonna bleed. Jared E, lead singer of the Star Spawn Jam Band, OAR Spawn.

Brian, Pindagas' former roommate, had to move out after Pindagrean's repeatedly disrespected Brian's designated No Nut Tap Zone. Her Majesty Claudette, queen of the crick, wears a crown of green saplings and a robe of dry leaves, also carries a royal scepter, which is a green sapling with a dry leaf on top of it. Hmm, on theme.

Carbureau Chapel Hill FPV, a known bodybuilder who holds the Bahumian record for heaviest deadlift, lifted 12 dead half-works in one fell swoop. Persephone, nose-power-word-kill, also power-word-swill, which lets them identify any wine. Down to the street it was grown on, impressive. Joseph M. the half-orc-barred-ish. Joseph attended Bahumiya's Barred College of Valor, but flunked out because of bad grades. Now Joseph works as an airship gas station attendant and plays the loot in his mom's basement.

There a behoo tube channel is really starting to take off though. Reese in S. Blavvins drinking buddy. Hasn't drank anything thinner than a frozen margarita since last time Leant was awake. Whew. Jackie, a super rich bullywug who lives in Galatoron. Heard about the uprising in Galatehome and his arming themselves for what they assume is the coming class war. Probably smart.

Hey Lee, a green teen organization employee tasked with planning next year's jam-barine. The gift bags are done, but Shadowfell is booked through May. Oh no! Eric and Andrea B, an adventuring duo who are celebrating 11 years of marriage. They're currently with the Crick Elves getting showered in brown leaves for hitting their double ones, as Crick folk call it. Steven C, a glorious big tuna fish

that haunts Boundor's dreams. Boundor flips over his singing tuna at night, lest it remind him too much of the feared Steven C. Dubie-Ash-Tray is actually an astral ash-tray. If you ash on Dubie's ash-tray, it disappears and teleports to the astral plane, which at this point is very polluted. Diane W.

Maverish is crush at school who is so cool they didn't even watch the wizard tournament. Mavros gets choked up thinking about how bad it is to be so whatever. Maxwell C., a rogue paladin who sneaks up on bad guys, then stabs them in the back in the name of righteousness. Confusing. Mike K., Bohumius premiere illusionist whose moving illusions are so good people call them movies and travel far and wide to see Mike K's movies on the big screen. The big screen of course is an illusion

They conjure to protect their illusions on two. Sounds simple to me can't wait to check it out. Michael M Jinslandell sparring partner Actually just a dancer and thinks Jins is their dance partner. Very good at Tango and Foxtrot. Omri M, a twin-age Kraken, has a secret Instagram account that their father Kraken does not know about. Uh-oh. Callum L, a warlock whose patron is the power of friendship.

Knows all the evil spells, but does them in the name of friendship. Aw. Charo Arcadius, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. Charo speaks two languages, but their tail speaks three. One of which is American Sign Language. Very impressive for a tail that isn't even prehensile. Scott D, an airship outfitter who offered to install spinning rims on the SS Stormborn. The band of boobs pointed out that they don't need wheels, but Scott D insisted how dope would it look though. It would look like you were driving in the sky. Good points, Scott D. Elijah Phelps,

an awakened bear ranger whose animal companion is a human. Check your preconceived notions of the dorm, my friends. And finally, Andrew A, a high-ranking military general of the Frostwin dwarves who was literally moved to tears by Bev's words. They were immediately demoted of course, but we like to think that their tears helped the cause. And that's it for this week folks. Thank you all so so much for listening, and we will see you soon. Bye bye! See you soon. Bye-bye!