Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 78: Twisted Metal (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: October 10, 2019

The Band of Boobs rally their forces and face the Bronze Bastard in a no-holds-barred destruction derby! Moonshine takes on another dependent, Hardwon embraces reading, and Beverly earns his learner's permit. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"The Posse" by Emily Axford."Deal with a Devil" by Emily Axford."The Bronze Bastard" by Emily Axford."Buzzer's Cutters" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's very devil-like. I am your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Harwitz. Hard one, short foot. Emily Axford. Moonshine Sabin, in a contractual pickle on my motor sickle. Mm-hmm.

I love that. And of course, called Waltaner. Beverly Toggle the fifth. Hellboy. Yeah. All right, that's a movie. Counts, we've been sued. S-wish.

Cool guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys made your way through the Ruby Plainar Gate and entered the first layer of the Nine Hells. You discovered a hellish landscape plagued by an endless war. You learned from Bev's book that the humanoids here were controlled by devils who used them as pawns in their battles for power and influence devils own their mortal souls in a physical form. Each soul damned to the Nine Hells has a relevant soul coin and the devil or person who holds

the coin has power over that mortal. Mortal souls are currency here, so it should come as no surprise that upon your arrival to the Nine Hells, you were immediately attacked by a motorcycle gang. This was, of course, buzzer's cutters who wanted to steal your souls. They did dance the loa-

Dance sauce cutters. Dance sauce cutters, yeah. Dance sauce cutters. Dance sauce, yes. You guys quickly killed the leader buzzer then ended the charismatic dance saw before cutting a deal with the surviving devil, Rip Chain.

Rip Chain promised to give you a lay of the land in exchange for a motorcycle and his life. He told. End of Soulcoin. End of Soulcoin, that's true. He told you about a new warlord who has pilfered the lesser ones of their soul coin, that's true. He told you about a new warlord who has pilfered the lesser ones of their soul coins,

named the bronze bastard. The bronze bastard controls a compound on the River Styx and prevents anyone from descending lower into hell. Rip chain suggested that you could work with a lesser warlord to overthrow him, and you were all reintroduced to your old friend Josh. Now thriving as the second most powerful warlord on this layer of hell, you made a deal to align yourselves with Josh and his army, then begin marching on the bronze bastard's

compound or rather driving on it, I guess. And out front you saw a sign that read for rust. And you got a feeling you were going to be running into another old friend. And that is where we are now. So just to be clear, right off the bat, two things to start off with and to remember. There are currently two infernal contracts in play.

One, we've got hard one who in exchange for information told Rip Chain that you would give him the first soul coin you got your hands on. Okay. Munchine, you promised that- Oh, you could get out of it by picking it up with your feet. That's right. I'm going to put it in.

I am going to pick it up with my toe and stick it in my ass crack. Yeah. That, this is the type of shenanigans that would work in hell. Munchine, you promised that you wouldn't take any soul coins during the upcoming battle and that Josh could have all the souls. He agreed by saying, and I quote, then you have my army. So you guys are all approaching the bronze bastard's compound with your caravan of Mad Max, Devils, and Mutants.

The fort looks like a giant war machine junkyard with a twisted iron fence, a small keep in the middle, and three scout towers. Behind it, the river sticks is falling from a plain-arrift in the sky to the shores below. You guys are not approaching stealthily. You have an army with you. Josh has a few hundred humanoids under his control, including minotauras and pig people, these humans that are cursed with animal parts, then there are impson spined devils, the smaller flying minions. You guys do see as you approach the compound, Rust definitely has a bigger army. His includes giant monstrosities of sewn together bodies. He has more humanoid troops than Josh does and dozens of winged creatures in the air overhead, but the biggest problem is all his war machines.

Most of them aren't operational, but there are a lot. As soon as your army gets in sight, a bunch of his soldiers hop into these crude tanks and monster trucks with spiked wheels and various destructive weapons, they begin revving and spitting hellfire. So guys, here is how this battle is gonna work. Rather than, whoa, we'll see anything about a battle. We're gonna try diplomacy. I have the edible arrangement, right?

I'm your main main. You guys can just turn and piece out if you would like, but let me tell you how the battle will work if you decide to engage it. So rather than rolling for every single minion in this huge battle, because this is a huge battle with hundreds of people, I'm just going to place you guys in your own encounter, and the rest of the stuff will be happening off-mic as Josh's gang members engage with rusts.

So if you guys win your encounter, which is kind of like the key encounter, we'll say that Josh's forces are able to rally around you and take over. If you guys die or flee, we'll say that Josh's forces are either turn the tide of the war. Exactly. We hold the key of morale. You guys are the key fight here. You guys have two motorcycles, but the bus is the real weapon. The bus has a grappling claw and two harpoon flingers. These each take a person to man. So that would mean you'd need somebody driving it.

You would need somebody on the grappling claw and two people on the harpoons to use everything the bus had to offer. So you guys can either all stay on the bus or you can bring in one of Josh's imps or something like that. What would you guys like to do as you're riding up to this battle? I definitely want to bring in an imp. Okay. We're going to need a little friend throwing hard pumes while you guys are casting your spells. Yeah. It sounds cute as hell. Yeah. I'm picturing the ball game from Magic the Gathering. Yeah, it's a tiny tiny little angry. Yeah, we want the tiniest angry. But not a little, okay.

The most dark crystalic. Last imp you got. Yeah, you're riding a... Can we do a casting call for the imp? Josh does have some warm machines. So some of his warm machines will be engaging theirs, but you guys will obviously have to face a bunch of them. You guys are riding next to Josh who is in like a dune buggy type thing and he goes, yeah I know some

fucking pissed off ass imps. Now this dude is really short. I would know nothing about that because I'm like fucking dude. This guy knows what I'm talking about. We're both 5'10 or it's dark. Yeah maybe. I think, dude. I love your high heels by the way Fuck off man He was talking to me He he spins the wheel and turns off away from you guys And sends down how many imps do you guys want to help you? I'll take three. Okay, let's get them on like grapple duty. Three imps fly down these.

I'll say like two of them look kind of just down on their luck. Like they don't really want to be there. I'm going to sit in a bus instead of being out in the air. I love flying. This other one goes, oh fuck a piss dude! I want to fucking kill some people. I want to shoot her! Who wanted shit?

You, you're angry. Yeah, I think you might want the grappling club. What a fucking kill some people want to shoot her food and shit you you're angry I think you might want the grappling club. Yeah, dude. I want to grab some people. What's your what's your name little angry friend? My name is Bok Bring it in Nobody hug Bob we want to hug Get in the hog with Bob hog with bog. A hog with bog. And who are these two sour pusses? This is Big and Bag.

Big and Bag. Big and Bag. Who does? Hey, bring it in everyone. I see you two aren't totally on board with Team Krulebus yet, but let me let you in on a fun little surprise. And I lay down an inspiring speech for all of them. Nice.

And all my crew can part of your inspiring speech be doing a warface paint on me. It's absolutely half warface paint and half a bus chance that you do when you're going on a school trip. Sweet 99 bottles. Trickwater on the wall. I don't know. You see Bob is just slamming his head in the bus. Fuck man, what is this? It's good, it's fun. I fucking hate it. I'm just slamming it and then I'm like, fuck man, what is this?

It's good, it's fun. I fucking hate it. Do you see any license plates? I don't know, I think it's kind of fun. There you go. I should have the fuck on bag. Hey, lead bag alone, Bob. It's working.

It's working. Punch-boggy. There is tension between Bob and Bag, and I like it. We're gonna have to use it. Hard and fat. A frenzy. Sweet, so big goes to the one Harpoon. Bag goes to the other one.

And Bog will be on the grappling track. All right, cool. May I ask a question about Soul Coins? Yes. Is there like, does Rust have a sack of coins that like if we got our hands on it, we would then command some of his army or is it not that like the way the way you understand it is that it is kind of that simple cool

literally has a cache of coins somewhere Moonshine is there anything you want to do I want a fungal form of course Okay, and I also want to also fungal forms ring. Yeah, yeah, um Put this band on him too, and I want to cast locateate Object. I'm going to say Josh, since you and I are in a contract, I'm just trying to honor it best I can. I need you to show me a sole coin so I can get acquainted and I can locate these. Yeah, you guys pull up next to Josh so you can have this exchange. Last year, sole coin. uh... you you guys pull up next to josh he could have this exchange soul point he goes so be the last one you ever fucking see uh... and he pulls one out actually no josh i'm gonna see them as we're

poor in the mid-year coffers that's totally true sorry that's my bad uh... you see he pulls out uh... this very big coin it It takes up his entire palm, which I guess he has a little palm. Oh, that's like a saucer. Yes, but it is like a big golden coin that radiates like a red energy. I would love to drink soup off of that.

Nice coin bud. I report spores to moonshine. You got a bead? Yeah, I mean, I cast low-key objects. Sweet, just to find other soul coins. Yeah. You get pings all over the place. Yeah.

Like a bunch of these lesser devils have a few underlings that still serve rust and stuff. Okay. But the big collection of them is hidden in that steel keep. Okay, I'm going to say we're getting into it. Yeah. You guys are riding this cruel bus. Is anybody getting out on a motorcycle or anything

or are you guys staying in the bus until initiative starts? I think I'm on the motorcycle, right? Okay, okay. Moonshine hops out of the bus, rides through motorcycle. Although I guess there's Jesus cover, there's probably gonna be some arrows. Okay, but I do think it would be really cool

if at the last second we start the motorcycle and I kick it out of the back of the bus with you on it. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay, I'll say if I found or it out of the back of the bus with you on it. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay, I'll say if that found or acclimed on the back of the motorcycle with you. Yeah, bring it on, boys. Nice, what do you want to do, Bev? I'll stay in the bus with hard one for now.

Okay, cool. So you guys are not on the front line. There's a bunch of mortals who come back to life every single day, who just devil-made care, fling themselves forward. A bunch of Josh's war machines ram into the fences. They bend and break as zombies on both sides pour in and start fighting each other.

War machines, like these giant monster trucks ride over the fences and all the junk and they just start ramming each other I turn on the radio really loud And you guys are able to make like a line of carnage as you start getting near the keep Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. We're gonna get into your encounter. Oh shit. Woo! 12, seven. 22.

Whoa. Hey, moonshine, you are first. You are out on this motorcycle. You see that in your immediate vicinity are 10 of these spined devils, these bony devils flying overhead. Then there are two dune buggy like war machines with bladed iron wheels and scissoring sides in the front.

And then you also see two of these stitched together giants. What I wanna do is I want to speed within 30 feet of one of these stitched together monsters. Okay. And then I want to cast Charm Monster on him. It's a wisdom saving throw. He'll have advantage, but he does have to roll 20. I'm assuming they're not that smart. Jesus, no, certainly not. That is a natural eight. It fails. Okay, so he's, he's charmed to me until the spell ends. So for an hour, he's gonna do what we ask.

Yes, mom. Just horrifying beast that has a bunch of different faces. Yes, my beautiful son. Hey, mom's in town. She wants to meet all your friends. Oh, so many friends. Yeah. Yeah.

Why don't you start by just really, why don't you start by attacking the one who looks like you? All right, I'll do it on my turn, mom. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Also, I'm gonna spore, um, just poison do anything to these guys. Poisons really not gonna do anything to anybody. All right. Okay. Charming monsters, it is.

Just blowing kisses that don't hurt them. Yeah. Yeah, I'm blowing kisses to Charming now. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, mom. Hey mom, you're embarrassing me. I'm so sorry, honey. You know what, I'm gonna make you your favorite

smore brownies. So you see these 10 spined devils overhead are gonna fly down at you and Balnor's motorcycle. Two of them hit Balnor and one of them hit you. That is a big five damage team moonshine. Hi! Drink it in and it only makes me stronger. That's a big six damage to Boundor. Whoa.

Oh, I guess Pop-O should have done something, but. You want Pop-O to give Boundor advantage? Or do you want Pop-O to attack? Yeah, he'll definitely buy a spine double. Okay, sweet, go ahead and make an attack for Pop-O. Pack tactics, he gets advantage on the roll That's our baby got one in a 10 but that becomes 15 does a 15 hit 15 does hit yeah, okay me me me me me me

13 Pop-up bikes for 13 pop-off severely hurts it and it must make a DC 13 strength saving throw or be knocked prone. It fails. So I'm gonna say this thing. This is my favorite out of the sky. I'll pull this thing out of the sky and you guys just crush it with your motor cycle and one goes down. Balnor actually, I just rolled for him, he hit twice. One of them is gonna be nine damage, and the other one is going to be 14 damage, so he does 23 to one, he cuts another one down out of the sky.

Damn. So two of those spine devils go down. You know what, I'm gonna tell my monster a different command. Ooh, I'm gonna tell my monster, I'm gonna point at the bus that hard one is driving, and I'd say, protect that bus with all you got, baby. Mom has never had it. Okay, mom, it looks pretty fast.

Do you know how long I push to get you out of here? I'm sorry, mom, I'll run after it. Just running super slow. I hate for. Just like immediately the bus blows, fast, and it's just running. And also kill on her own along the way. All right, that might be a better run. Don't do dash actions, attack, but then also run towards the bus. Inside the bus I'm yelling,

bag, hit that thing with a hard boot. You fucking gladly, man. I think that's moonshine's son or daughter. She has so many goddamn children. I mean, my daughter. She's too fucking horrible. I'm having trouble keeping up with the narrative. I'm just my daughter. She's too fucking horrible. She's not obvious. I'm having trouble keeping up with the narrative. I'm sorry.

OK, so one of these little, so these things are called tormentors. These little dune buggy things. One of them is going to go after moonshine on the motorcycle and is going to go right after your motorcycle. It is going to drive up it. moonshine, go ahead and give me a deck save. This thing has a plus four to decks.

Is Moonshine close enough to get my bonus from that? No way. No. I don't need it because I got an app 20. Yeah, that's it. Moonshine, you do a six stunt and get out of the way as yeah, you do a wheelie and get up over the sides as they try to scissor you.

You know what's embarrassing? Is I just started riding this thing yesterday? Yes, through the trees. Reeeeee! Ballonor and Ballonor and Bob are dragging behind they fell out of the side car door in the train. Okay, this thing is going to- Can we say that Bobo falls out,

but then I like skid and do a donut to pick him. Like he goes into the air, but then I catch him. You catch Papa, they are gonna shoot a harpoon at your motorcycle. Ooh, shout out to the two crew. That is a miss. I'm just shoots the harpoon off into nothing. Misses, this other tormentor is going to drive over

and take a shot at the crew bus. Yeah, right. I'll have to horn at it. Ah, I moon it. You see, yeah, there's a devil inside there. Oh, how dare you? We should have decorated it to be like a, like a tour bus of like middle schoolers

going to see like a play. Oh, like cardboard cutouts. Yeah. They don't get a 15 to hit. They miss the cruel bus, but they are going to ride up and try to get you guys with the sides. Somebody go ahead, I guess, hard one since you're driving. Go ahead and give me a deck save for the cruel bus.

It is a plus one. Oh, so it's just, yeah, it's just plus one. Got it. 10. Okay, so you guys are going to get hit with the sides. I retract my ass from the window. Your ass is cut clean off. It was so flat already.

What was there to lose? Your singular gain. You got not gains, but just gain. Mine my gain! Slice away like Delhi and Beverly's butt gets nicked. And they pierce like one of the doors on the side and do 16 damage to your vehicle your vehicle still got a lot more life And there's no no vehicular mishaps yet you guys are okay

That goes down to hard ones turn hard one you can use your I will basically allow you to use your movement to like accelerate the car and move the car and stuff. If you want to like throw something you can do that but if you want to like get out and use your hammer or something you'll need to either stop the bus or have someone else drive it for you. Got it. This is all moving. Okay, I guess I'll keep on following moonshine but I'll try to go on a path where I'm running as much stuff over as I possibly do.

So, right on. Yeah, I mean, do you want to straight? Just go run over my daughter. Which one's your daughter? The real fucked up looking monster. Should we pull over her and go hard one? Hey, niece. How did it learn your name?

Who do I see outside? You see there are the devils that have swooped down on moonshine in Ballon, or they seem like they're doing fine though they already cut down to. There's the two tormentors, those are the dune buggy, things that are going after you guys, and then you see the two giants, but moonshine introduced one of them to you as her daughter.

Okay, so I'm going to say, Bob Big Bag. Yeah, what's up, him? Take out these tormentors. Sweet, hard one, go ahead and make some roles for Bob Big and Bag. Bob Big Bag. Bob Big Bag.

Bob Big Bag. Bob Big Bag. bag. Bog big, bag. Bog big, bag. Bog big, bag. OK, they add to their rolls. The Harpoons are plus six to hit. Woo. OK, so there was, first Harpoon was a 12. 12 is not going to hit the tormentor. The next one was a 22.

22 is going to hit the tormentor. Go ahead and roll 2d8. That's 10 damage. 10 damage, sweet. You shoot a harpoon into one of these bad boys, and it sticks. It looks like it did some actual damage. You still have the claw. You can go after the hurt one if you would like.

Yes, I'm gonna go after the hurt one with the grappling claw. That was a 20, what wait, what is that? What do I add to that? Claw's a plus 10. Okay, so that was a 29. So the claw reaches down and grabs the tormentor. So I'm like,

Woo, yeah. Yeah, fuck you, fuck this stupid fucking dune buggy. Give me a grow hog for that. So we are. And then I wanna, can I cut the wheel real hard and try to run over the monster, the giant that is not Moon Shine's child. I'll let you make an attack roll with the chain.

Here's what I'm going to say. You have one of the tormentors, one of the dunebuggies in your claw. If you want to spin and try to hit the non-charmed giant, I'll let you do that. But I'll say if you fail, the chain will break and the car will get loose. Okay, so I'm definitely gonna do it. Sweet. So what do I add to this attack?

Go ahead, we'll say it's a plus six to hit because that's what the Harpoon is. 21. That super hits the giant. It's sides are usually 2D10, let's say 4d10. Yes. Because it's like a crit. So yeah, you see you toss one of these fucking dunebuggies hits the one Giants. 19 damage. Nice. These Giants are pretty sturdy. This one is definitely still okay, but you see it does lose a big chunk of its

body. Good shot hard one. that one was in my daughter. Great, I'm glad you're only related to this one. That would make fun of her daughter in class. Good job, Uncle Hardwell. What's your name, by the way, so I don't have to just call you niece. Oh, well, I guess I'm a bunch of sewn together corpses, so I have a lot of names.

Oh, bumblebee, your name's bumblebee. I'm sorry, I love the Transformers. Nice to meet you, Bubblebee. Hi, I'm sorry I missed your graduation, maybe. I to meet you, Bubblebee. I'm sorry. I missed your Graduation maybe I don't know how old you are I'm combined all my corpses together. I'm 9,000 years old. Wow We haven't been there for you are a transformer. You have transformed into something wonderful and new You know the biggest transformer of all motherhood

And right now, I'm a change. Just on and on. Fucking battle field, just motorcycle going so fucking fast. Hard one turned on the devil radio, that never stops, just blasting. I'm sorry, I'm just picturing Optimus Prime, saying that. It's creepy. Motherhood is the greatest transformable.

Like, saying it as a PSA of the end. Then you guys see, on initiative 10, that this armored keep is not a keep at all. You see wheels burst up from the ground, hidden under like the box. You see it is this huge, armored, Frankenstein vehicle, a combination of a tank, a crane, a dump truck, and a hellish nightmare. An iron jaw opens where like the archway, where like the gate would be, at the front of the vehicle and fire spews from it, you also see a swinging wrecking ball

and two giant harpoon flingers. Do you see that there is? Just so everyone can talk shit, we're gonna say that there's loud speakers on top of every single car, and you hear, yeah, broad spattered rock and and roll baby is this radio station your request who the fuck is that dude hey that's somebody reading out there man somebody right that you and you read it you know you ended up in hell when you

died so I guess it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt you were hell roll man I just get to kill people for fun man I just own people and stuff it fucking rules dude well it's super cool that you're like here hard one because now you can meet dwarf and crusher you see the saw on the side of the tank is written dwarf and crusher and it's gonna go right for your cruel bus Bring it on You fucking bully so dwarf and grinder going to ride up and try to chop you with a big iron jaws That is a 28 to hit Russ Russ is driving this thing, right? It sounds like it. Yeah. I'm gonna eat your fucking car man You eat cars every day. Sounds tasty.

Wait a minute. If you can't read, then how is he able to use the gear shifter? Good question. How can hard one? That is 25 damage. And hard one, I'm gonna need you to roll a D20 for a mishap 19 that is a damaged axle the vehicle grinds and shakes uncontrollably until the mishap ends The vehicle has disadvantage and all dexterity checks and all ability checks and

Attack rolls made by creatures on the inside of the vehicle have disadvantage. You hear that bug big bag? Fuck man, we're gonna die dude! That's the spirit. That's awesome man! Why are you happy? Because I don't give a shit I'm a fucking amp man. Yeah, honestly, cosmologically what happens to you if you die?

Oh, if I die in hell, I just turn to dust and go away. That sounds pretty bad. Yeah, sucks. Don't do pretty bad. Yeah, it sucks. You don't do it then. Yeah, try not to. I'm gonna give you shit, I'm a fucking imp. So you can actually use an action to try to repair something during your turn. But right now you have a damaged axle.

That was Dwarfen grinders first attack. No, it's gonna use the wrecking ball on you. Oh goodness, it comes in like a wrecking ball. Ooh, that's only a 12, that's not gonna hit. I'm gonna shoot at you with two Harpoons. Hits with the first one for 12 damage, and then the second one hits 10 damage. So it needs to be from the same source

to do 20 damage or more to cause a miss house. But it did not do that. So the wrecking ball missed, but the two Harpoon's did. That is the end of Dwarf and Grindr's turn, Bev, that is your turn. You are in this bus. The bus is going crazy now. This is damaged axle.

You guys are falling behind moonshine. The bus is shaking like crazy. Hard one, should I try and fix it? Yeah, so what you wanna do is get a pop the trunk. Okay, yeah. There's a little cylinder, and there's a little T thing. Okay, there's a coil, there's a spring, and there's a bunch of lasing over.

Punch it all really hard with your sword. Wow, you should teach drivers in. Thank you, that should be a patch. For the teens for sure. I never got my engineering patch, this is gonna be in. Thank you. That should be a patch. For the teens, for sure. I never got my engineering patch. This is going to be tricky. OK, so Bev, so a creature can use its action to make an ability check based on the nature of the mishap.

So a damaged axle is Jesus, repair DC 20 decks. OK. Basically, you need to like hang out of the bus and try to repair it. All right, well, this will fold in of the bus and try to repair it. All right, well, this will fold in nicely to what I want to do next. So, I am going to do that. So, I'll go ahead and like, time myself in. I'll just, I imagine this bus doesn't have seat belts.

I probably complained about it before. Actually, what I'm going to do first is I'm going to take the orb of recording that I got from Lucana's back in Gladeholm and I'm going to attach it to my head like a GoPro. Okay. Because I want to start making a video journal for Irland. That's so sweet. Very nice. So I've got that going on and then I'm gonna lean out. I help you strap that and I wave right into it. I turn her out. I look over my shoulder on the side. Mojang has a kid. He's a bum for me. Heighter-erlin. I'm falling behind. I was at first, but I really think I gave birth. The bum will be. I'll explain later. So yeah,

I tie myself in and I kind of repel off the side and I'm gonna go ahead and try and fix this bus sweet. Oh, give me that good roll. It's a 19. My intelligence is zero. God damn it. Wait, it's a deck. It's decks. Oh, it's decks. What is your decks?

Oh, it's so syrup. Oh is your Dex? Oh So syrup? You don't do it. Is it a saving throw? No, oh, it's a jam it so you fail Okay, it's shit Driving a little bit better kid. It's it's good Just like banging a hammer on a pipe No, you fucking idiot. Why don't you do something cuz Cause I'm fucking man in the claw, the fucking claw grab somebody before, man. And you're doing a great job, choose life. I'm the only one.

You're doing a good job, Bog. Bog, you deserve it. I thought the dust could be an interesting experience, being in it and whatnot. Yeah. You can just kind of swirl around. You can just like go into the fucking river sticks and you just become like a fucking weird soul monster. It sucks Yeah, everything in hell sucks. We're gonna get you out of this fuck you

Body and regard I don't have a real life. It's just a goddamn him. Oh You never lived on a mortal plane. No, yeah, okay, so you know, we don't have to return I used to be a toad You never lived in a mortal plane. No! Okay, so you don't have to return. Oh, you used to be a toad. Bag, where were you a toad? We can't talk, you're on a motorcycle right now. Beb, do you want to do a bonus after everything? Yeah.

Since I have, so thoroughly failed at fixing the axle, I think I'm going to look at hard one and say, I think my services would be better elsewhere and I'm going to misty hard one and say, I think my services would be better elsewhere and I'm going to misty step onto the Dwarfen fort. Hell. Okay, sweet. You're gonna go on top of Dwarfen grinder. I'm going to, yeah, try and get on Dwarfen grinder.

Is there like a pilot's window or maybe like? You can try to get into the helm. You need to do attacks to do that. That needs to be actions and stuff. So I'm just on the doorfin' Yeah, you're just on the doorfin' Okay, you're on this big tank. That is the giant's turn.

What would you like Bumblebee to do? Bumblebee, attack the house. You really want to put your daughter in danger like that? You're right, you know what? Just to hack the one that looks like you. I'm afraid that's right. Sandy know what? Just to hack the one that looks like you. That's right. Sandy? Sandy's not your best friend. Sandy, I'm fucking sorry. Sandy said some bad things about you in gym class. What? Sandy, why do you want to do mom? I can't help it. I spoil her. I just want to not exist. I guess die I just want to not exist I guess or just a tormented soul that you sound like you sound just like back

She leaves it fucking hell man Okay, if you want to die then probably Sandy also wants to die. So why don't you give your friend a hand? Good point Sandy. What do you think we beat the shit out of each other, see what happens? Wow, besties. She does in fact hit Sandy twice for a total of 36 damage after getting hit with a dune buggy and getting hit by Bumblebee.

Sandy is looking quite fucked up. Sandy is gonna take two cracks back at Bumblebee. Mrs. On the first attack does hit on the second attack. Does 18 damage to Bumblebee. Mom, she hit me! Don't be a tattletail. It's not a good look. That is back around a moonshot.

Back around a moonshot, okay. Well, I think I'm gonna leap off onto like the foot of the dwarven grinder. Okay, go ahead and make an acrobatics check. So I can't see into anyone driving in the dwarven. You can make a perception check once you're on it. Or you can make a perception check before it, I guess. Yeah, I'll do a perception check to see if I see.

26. Yeah, you can see that there are different stations. There's some kind of minotaur or something doing one of the Harpoons, some kind of humanoid doing one of the other Harpoons. There's someone working the wrecking ball and then there is a helm where you can't see rust but you would assume that he would be.

It is pretty heavily armored. You would need to do like an attack to get inside. I'm just gonna lightening bolt some shit because that's gonna do damage to the cover and anyone in there within a hundred foot line. Okay. So I guess I'll jump to get as close as I can and then lightening bolt into some of the people operating.

Sweet. I'm gonna say you can either hit rust, who is like in the center, or you can hit like the Harpoon person and the wrecking ball person, or the Harpoon person on the other side and the claw person. Cloth, what, fuck do you have?

Yeah, claw, fuck me up. I'm gonna go Harpoon and claw. Okay, and what do they do, deck saves? Deck saves. My thing is a 20. Okay, I love drinking a Harpoon and Claw. Dwarf and Grindr cannot successfully do it unless they get a net.

20 and it did not. So these two dudes do get hit with lightning and the Dwarf and Grindr gets hit with lightning. Teacher, am I far enough away that I don't have to make a deck save? You don't, because it's just in a straight line. Teacher, am I far enough away that I don't have to make a deck safe? You don't, because it's just in a straight line. Okay, great. So the machine itself is gonna take damage,

and these two guys are, but not you. Thank you, Professor. 24. You mess up these two operators. And they gotta make a role to see if there's a mishap. It's more than 20 damage, right? Damage threshold is 20, so we're gonna go ahead and roll, you wanna roll for me,

yeah, roll for Uc. Six. Furnace rupture, the vehicle speed decreases by 30 feet until the mishap ends. That's bad. Okay, nice work. You didn't jump off, did you? I think I'll stay on the motorcycle for now.

Okay, great. So Moonshine, you are staying on the motorcycle. You just did lightning damage. Then that is the devil's turn. They are going to take some attacks. That is two hits on you and three hits on Balnor. That is a total of nine damage to you and 12 damage to Balnor.

Then that is Balnor's turn. Balnor is gonna swing right back at them. That is two hits. That boy Balnor. Yeah. That is. You might be able to kill him both. Balnor kills another one.

There's seven left. I am a crazy fucker. You're bound to crazy man. So crazy, I'm gonna take an action search. Yeah. I toss Balnorore a bud heavy Crit He catches it he catches the fucking bud heavy by the bag man He cracks it on the skull of one of these spine devils

And with the crits Does 21 damage he cleaves through that one and does some damage to another one there are six left That is the dune Buggies turn. The Dune Buggies, I'm gonna say, they're gonna have to roll for a vehicular mishap because they got thrown. That is a 12, that is blinding smoke. The helm station fills with smoke

and heavily obscured until the mishap ends. Any creature in the helm is blinded by the smoke. So they are just useless at the moment. One of them is going to try to fix it with a Dex check. At this point, now I just want to make mishaps happen. So we find out what they all are. I know.

That is the look we see. Just scratching off all the numbers. They miss. You see one ghoul is just trying to like wave all the smoke away. They're just like idiots one ghoul is just trying to like wave all the smoke away. They're just like idiots trying to get the smoke alarm to turn off. Smoke you dumb buggy. Second one misses.

Gets a net one, can't do shit. Last one gets a fucking net for. They're just smoked out this one torn blotter. You lost the demolition derby, but you gotta go home. Just stay still. You hotboxing in there? We love smoking weed dude Okay, hell's pretty cool. I guess

This is an uproot car doing like bog and rip chain. I just feel like we're making a family down it bumblebee Yeah, it's so cool and also the worst So then this other tormenter I guess is going to yeah, it'll just keep going after the bus because the bus is getting pretty fucked up at this point. So it's going to try to ram it to you again with its sides go ahead and give me a deck save. What does the bus get plus one? Yes 14. That is a save. Alright so you are able to swerve out of the way. They're just gonna shoot their one Harpoon at you. Geez. That is not gonna hit. They with With the Harpoon that is your turn hard one. All right, okay So I we still have disadvantage in this bus, right? Yes, can I call to

Bog to take the wheel. All right, man, fuck it. Bog is take the wheel. Bog runs over, hops in the driver's seat. Okay, so I'm gonna make a dex, dex, to do it. Yeah, so a hard one you hop out the window and try to fix the axle. 17. 17 does not do it. Oh shit, that's right.

All right, let me use the lock point. 19. Oh, I'm gonna do it. It's fucking brutal. You can use action search if you want. Do we have one more motorcycle on the bus? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Cool. Awesome, thank you for that. Do you want to ride that motorcycle out of the bus while calling your door, Vendates? Yes. I do. Deploy. I'm riding out the emergency exit on my motorcycle.

Hey, man, what the fuck you doing? That's raddish shit. I'm giving him high five as on my motorcycle. Hey, man, what the fuck you doing? That's raddish shit! I'm giving him high five, so I ride down the aisle, too. I guess it's pretty cool. You ride out the back, rocket out the back. You summon your door of endaddies who are now red and have devil horns. Oh, shit, man, this is pretty fucking meds hotter

than a hot tub down here, daddy. Oh, shit. Hey, that's a fucking sun in there. There is a little pool of blood over there that looks pretty warm and hospitable. Do not go in the pool. You gotta schfits in for sure. Everyone stop trying to jump in lava. So that is Dwarfen Grinders turn. Yeah, you remember this fucker. Oh fucking hit this dude. This is so stupid, so weird. You hear over the loudspeaker.

When did you learn how to ride a motorcycle? Huh. Ah, same time as I learned how to read. By the way, don't tell him I don't know how to read, but I need to pretend it's actually cool. Hard one knows how to read. You can read it for a while. Read it's the best.

I read day and night. He loves chapter books. He admits it. The law could have better. You see the devil's like embarrassed for us. He's too loves it. He loves reading. You can take down a Ramona Quimbee, no problem.

I feel so conflicted lying about it. You just hear a scream. I'm not stupid. As Dorphin Grindinder rides at you, going to go at you with the chomper. We're not by their speed, a slow. Be honest, hard one. Were you riding straight at Dwarfen Grinder

or were you trying to like go around? I did think I was just riding out the back of the bus and doing like, okay, then he cannot go at you. He will just keep going after the bus. I can't believe Rust was so dumb that hell didn't work on him. I can't. Is there a library here?

Fuck no, I burned it. Oh, that makes sense. Shame would love to read some hellish literature. That's got a book. It's a Bound Hell, it's not from hell. It's like a tour guide. Use of the claw to do fucking 20 damage. Go ahead and roll a mishap for your imp friends.

Okay, come on. Bugs got this. Come on. It's a five. That is a furnace rupture. It starts going much slower. Going to go ahead and use the two harpoons. Hits on the first one.

Misses on the second one. 14 damage. If Bog dies, will he go to the dust mother? Ooh, will he? I like to think so. I do too. The fuck kind of joke is that, man. I don't know what that is. It's, yeah, you have to have been there. I'll explain it later if you live. Bad film made promises, even if he lives, you're probably gonna ghost him.

They fail trying to hit with the wrecking ball, the bus stands, but he's looking so bad. The engine is like fuming, and the axle is broken, it's weaving back and forth. It fixed that axle, I really think I did. That is Bev's turn. Okay, so I am on the Dwarfen Grinder. Yeah.

I want to try and make my way towards the Harpoon area, the Harpoon cockpit. Sweet, you want to get the one that Moonshine already hurt or a different one. A one that looks at full capacity. Sweet, so you run over to the opposite side that Moon China did not hit with lightning. That's good because then I can

lighten in that side that you didn't go to it. Yeah. Are you gonna try to get into this dude's little like cockpit area or are you going to just like try to stab him? I want to stab him and then use his cockpit. Sweet. Sorry I have to borrow this. That's going to be a, ooh, 28. 28 is gonna hit. Okay, is this an evil or a fiendish character? Yes, cool. So I'll add a d6 to that.

Let's go and do it. I lived a bad life. I feel like I need to confirm with everyone. You know, some people... We're all in hell, we all lived bad lives. My dad's down here and he did know, he did like one bad thing and I feel like it's not totally. Did he make like a deal or something?

I mean, maybe, you know. I've never had reasons for making their deal. So you should never make a deal. I mean, I'd never make a deal. I personally was just a foot soldier. What if you just killed a bunch of like kids? What if your friend was about to make a deal and you had to make a deal to save his ass.

I just don't think I'd make a deal. I don't know. Yeah, and he'd his advice. This is a guy that killed a bunch of children. Yeah, well, they were, you know, we're bastards. Tell me more about how I should live my life, child murder. I'll do a second-level smite suite. Okay, that's going to be 38 damage on my first attack. Geez, super hurt but still alive. All right, you stab through like a slit that he looks through, this like little armored area, and there's just an explosion of holy light, you just hear fuck.

Go to the dust mother, God damn it. Dust mother calls. Okay, I'll just attack again. Sweet. Does a 16'll just attack again. Sweet. Does a 16 hit does not. Ooh. Okay, all right, cool.

So we're just up here, Tusslin. Yeah. Cool. That is the giant turn. Love to touch. Tusslin the huss. Sandy and Bumblebee's turn. Bumblebee hits on the first attack

and hits on the second attack. bumblebee, end her. I'm a proud, I'm a proud uncle this day. See bumblebee grabs a piece of scrap metal and just wipes Sandy's face from existence. I'm just horribly break Sandy's many faces off and Sandy collapses to the ground's dead. I don't care I did it. I killed my only friend I'm having a child is like seeing yourself Like the back of you. Yes, but will be you were absolutely fantastic. I got it all in video. I'm calling the principal

That is back around to moonshine. Okay I'm calling the principal. That is back around to Moonshine. Okay. Can I jump? So you know where the, you know the spot that I fucked with the person who was manufacturing the claw, or who was moving the claw?

Yeah. Could I hop up and thorn with him? And thorn with him out the window? It would be an attack against the armor class of him having cover, yeah. Pop, you wanna give me me a help? Wee! All right, let's go for it, baby. So I'm leaping off, so Ballin' Orn knows

to take over the motorcycle. Red, red, we talked about this. It wobbles really a second. Looks like it's gonna go down super hard. Hey, a bubble bee, watch this. Ooh. Does a 26 hit? 26 does hit.

Yeah, so I want to whip him out the window. Jesus, okay, yeah, you pull him out. I'm going to have him do a deck save to see if he can stay on. I'm also going to misty step into his position. Oh, shit. Okay, he's going to try to hang on. That is a natural 15. He does hang on to the side of Dorf and Grindr.

How much damage does he take? He only takes five damage. Okay, sweet. So then you jump in and how you were manning the clock. Yeah. Very cool. That is the your regular bog. Devils turns.

They're going to go after Balnor down here who is riding the motorcycle. And they manage to hit him three times. Save the rest of the Bud Light for later Ballnor. Right, I'm driving now. He tosses the Bud Light or he tosses the Bud Heavy rather. He takes 14 damage. Thank you for clarifying. And then that is Ballnor's turn. Ballnor's just going to keep, it's just Ballnor versus these bone birds.

Ballnor crits. Yes, that butt heavy is sitting right. It was so warm. Bounder takes another one out. I was thinking of butt heavy being like, hey, we actually wanna work with you guys, I feel like. We love it, Bumph's Bounder.

We love the idea of a hot but heavy. So here's a pitch. All of your healing quotients are now but heavy. It's a bad messaging. Because I was in a super bowl. All right, this is the Dunebugge's turn. They are going to try to fix the smoke and they do. They are operational again. So one of them

is going to ride and go after hard one on the bike and they're gonna take a shot at your bike with their harpoon. Oh shit. Oh that is a fucking, that is a big 10, that is not gonna do it. Machutes just do a wheelie in their face. Okay, so that is the other tormentors turn. That one has not taken any damage or anything, so that one is also gonna ride after you on your super rad motorcycle. Seize that the bus is super fucked. Not fast enough to catch up to you,

so can't use the sides is just gonna shoot at you with a hard pun. That one is going to hit. That is 18 damage to your motorcycle and that is a mishap for the motorcycle. Oh no! So I need to roll the D20 hard one. Oh no! Oh this is not the good, the man!

Got three fucking elderly passengers in here. You really shouldn't take them to vote 18. Damaged axle. Again. Yeah, disadvantaged on dexterity at checks and all ability checks and attack rolls made by creatures on or inside the vehicle. That's totally the worst one.

Yeah. So you're just spinning out on this motorcycle. Oh, good the frickin' the hurled man. Do you walk in? So now that is your turn, hard one. I' the hurl, man. Hmm. Do you walk in? So now that is your turn, hard one. I don't need a vehicle anymore. I'm gonna pop a wheelie and just ride up, ride up to Russ Tank and jump off.

When I jump off, can I do it in a way that makes the motorcycle hit the tank? I was just sort of a little friend of that. You wanna just ram the fucking motorcycle into the tank as you jump off the ladder. So you want to like jump off backwards? You should try and the guy that I threw out the windows hanging from it.

Maybe you can grab to his legs. Yeah, okay, so I'm going to, I want to ride. You want to hit the dude that's hanging out onto the tank with your motorcycle? I want to surf on my motorcycle, standing up like a Dothraki's Screamer with a broken axle. You put the broken axle. Okay.

I'm gonna allow this bullshit. You are gonna make the check with disadvantage because you do have a broken axle. I'm gonna go at it. Oh right, that's gonna happen no matter what, right? Yes. Okay, yeah, so I'm gonna surf up my motorcycle. Okay.

Let it hit the tank and then crawl up the guy who's hanging on the side. Sweet, go ahead and make a acrobatics or an athletics as you attempt to launch your motorcycle into the tank with disadvantage. With disadvantage. 17. 17?

I will say you're not able to perfectly hit the dude with your motorcycle, but you do just like fucking crash your motorcycle right into the tank. I'll say what would a fucking motorcycle do? I'll have this thing do a deck save to try to kind of get out of the way. I mean, it was already malfunctioning, it would probably explode.

I don't know if that's still going around. But actually, it would explode. You can go ahead and do four D6 of fire damage as it explodes in the car. I know technically the infernal war machine is just supposed to be immune to fire, but not in my world, guys. I like things exploding.

There's gotta be some rubber tubing. Yeah. 14 damage. 14 damage. Okay, as the motorcycle goes, 17 is good enough to get you on to the tank. And is a bog big bag. Can they how are they looking in the bus? Their bus is fucked. So they can't fire anything else. Oh, yeah, they can try to fire stuff with disadvantage. Certainly. They can't do the clonny more because bog is driving. So you're too hard-puny to taxes. So bog's just gonna turn the radio station and see if anything else is on the radio.

Ah, if I play here. Fuck me. If I just play, it just gets louder. I can't fucking, it just goes louder every time I change it. So you can find like a remix or something. All right, it's just getting louder. With disadvantage, they roll an 11 and a 14. The 14 is gonna hit.

Yes. Go ahead and roll. Was it a 2d8 2d8 11 okay, do I get to make any attacks or yeah, you can make you can make an attack you just jumped off We just had you doing that thought extract. Yeah, you can make an attack on there's a dude hanging off here All right sweet I'm gonna try to hit him with my hammer and get him to fall into the dust and under some wheels You can also do grapple check. Okay. I'll do that. What do I add to it, Strength?

Yeah. So that was 20. 20, okay, he will do an opposed. He rolls a natural four. You're able to grab him where do you want to throw him? I want to place his head directly under a tread. Jesus fucking Christ. Delegantly, too.

It was nice and gingerish. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you grab him by the nape of the neck and shove his head Under a giant tire and it pops there you go. That's fine. Dust it us And he is gone. Doth my Dwarven daddies get to Thwack at the vehicle Vehicle does a save misses go ahead and roll your 3d8. Oh, what do you have dads now? I thought that's what you're a door of it. Geez. I have an embarrassment of riches with dads Wow, really interesting. I think it was we think it's stupid and we're disappointed and you rush They they respect more than anything they respect my a smarts, I think

14 14 damage more than's phoage man. We can't lie Well, you don't have to say you don't have to say anything. Beb shout. He's kind of a sapiosexual. I don't know what words mean. He just says all. Yeah, we're all sapiosexials now. By the way, did you say I don't know what words mean? Why would you say that over the loudspeaker?

I don't care what you're saying. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say. Yeah, I want to turn to, I want to turn to his army and be like, you follow this man? This is your captain! Yes, I'm this you follow! Yes, our souls. Fair enough. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you five bird dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall in the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's

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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. That is the Dwarfen Grinders turn. Duh, duh, duh. I'm gonna say... Well, I'm at the claw, so the claw can't attack. Claw can't attack. The dude that is on the same side as the claw is gonna get out, stop manning the hardpoon

and try to hit you, Moonshine. Bueno. He's gonna take a couple swings, misses on the first attack, misses on the second attack, trying to get into you. It's so high. Too high, it the second attack. Trying to get into you. Too high. It's not there.

It's unreachable. That's much too high. Then the other two, there's one that Bev is trying to get at. Yeah. Just gonna take a sword and just start stabbing through the slid and trying to get at you. Rules of natural 17, so is gonna hit 10 damage. Howie!

And then it makes a second attack. Ooh, crits, good for him, but that's not gonna do much. That is 13 damage. Okay. 13 damage on a crit, my god. Um, and then, what is this other one gonna do? This other one I guess is just gonna, so the wrecking ball is still there.

Wrecking ball is gonna try to kill your fucking boss. Oh, bug! Bug, the butt, right into the sunset bug. Just gonna try to kill your fucking boss. Oh, bug! Bug! The bug? Right into the sunset, bug! I'm trying! Retreat! Retreat, bug! I found a new least on life hard one!

You served the dogwood! I have you to thank for this! You see the wrecking ball hits into the crew of us, and you see it explodes, and there's absolutely nothing left inside Bob will be new directive more and Just collapses and start remembering fondly pulling at all of her faces Yet is zest for life In the last few seconds, you know what Rust is going to full-awed stop driving.

Oh good. Get off my fucking car man. Why don't you get out and bite. Yeah maybe I will. Great. Hey see Rust climbs out of the helm. There's just chaos all around you guys. Now you guys are just this big fucking tank. This big dump truck in the middle of all the chaos. Rust steps out from the helm. He's got a yellowish orange glow under skin that is like magma. And when he opens his mouth, it's pure orange. I don't know what to say, man, you look really bad.

I look rad, dude. You look sick. I look fuck, yeah, I do look sick. I look fucking ill look really bad. I look rad dude sick. I look fuck yeah I do look sick fucking ill-positive way. I look ill and sick do look ill. Yeah, it was correct Right, there's not really any ambiguity there either My spirit is on fire now. He'll take his spirits on fire. I think you have eczema Do you I have a cream for that? Oh, yeah? Shut up. Have you tried eliminating the most common allergen

and gluten or soy? Food colorings will sometimes get people. If I've lay here, how is your fucking speaker still going? One thing that survived. Indominable spirit. so he first is going to jump up and take a bite attacking you hard one just a Mollon lava fucking bite That covered a 20 to hit that does not hit you anymore. I just gums yet Jesus hey thanks for the kiss bud, but let's I thought we're having a rest. Let's show it up Then he's gonna go at you with his spear twice. Oh, natural four misses big time.

That's so fucking one misses big time. Okay, that is Bev's turn. Okay, cool. So I see hard one and Russ now going on it like on one of the upper layers of the dwarf and grinder. Yeah. I'm gonna try and finish off this harpoonist. He's super-herd already. Great. Yeah. I just keep stabbing at the dwarf and grinder. Yeah, I'm gonna try and finish off this harpoonist. He's super-hard already.

Great, yeah, I just keep stabbing at the slit. Sweet. Stab that slit. And I think nothing of the implication. Thanks, I hate it. Cool. Harpoonist sounds like it's a musical instrument. Yeah.

Beautiful. He was a skilled harpoonist. He was studied at Jouliart. And died a tragic death on a new detangue. He was studied at Julliard. And died a tragic death for Needshank. He murdered the first chair. That's why he went to hell. That is a 28 to hit. Yes. Alrighty. I'm not taking any chances. You said they're already pretty hurt. This dude's pretty hurt. Yeah. Okay. Cool. I'll just go ahead and do a normal attack. 21 damage. Yikes. Finish him.

Really? Yeah. to a normal attack. 21 damage? Yikes. Finish him, Beverly. Woo! Yay! Yeah, I just like open up the top of this like, I imagine it's like a big kind of sphere that he's piloting. Hey, you're not allowed in here. Sorry, I've driven exactly one other time,

and I think I know how to do this. I toss him off the side. Ah! Just like, hour rolled my ankle, we're not moving anymore. It doesn't hurt that bad, but it still hurts. My friend put a guy under the tread, be lucky, be thankful. Ow!

With my knee dyes of a spray dangle. No! With my second attack, can I use the Harpoon? Uh, yeah. Awesome. You need to shoot something that's not. It doesn't have the leverage to like move back and like aim at Rust or something but you can shoot like one of the tormentors or something. Yeah, I'll go ahead and

Sweet one of them super fucked up. Yeah, I'll go and do that. Okay Shout out to the two crew actually can I use my My true strike is attached to my sword that wouldn't work. Okay, that's going to be what do I add to that? Plus six. Yeah, it's not gonna be, what do I add to that? Plus six, eight. That's not gonna hit. Shoot off a Harpoon wildly. Cool, cool, now it's a nice little tightrope thing. We can walk.

Hits it in line. Squirp. That's cute. That is Bumblebee's turn. What would you like Bumblebee to do? Bumblebee. Ooh. Attack the lava man.

Soften him up. Protect your uncle. Okay, I'm gonna say, bumblebee. I've never been so proud. Bumblebee is not fast. She's gonna take a full dash action to get near the tank. Okay.

So that is her turn. And it's back right into you, Mochene. Since he's all covered in fire and stuff, does it seem like Cole will fuck him up? No. Then in that case, I think I wanna hit him with the claw. Hahaha. The claws are like jaws that are in the front of the car.

So you need to like grab him and like try to throw him down or something. You need to do like a coordinated attack with hard one. I would allow you to like pull your action. Can I hold an action for hard one? I'm pretty to like try to grapple him and try to push him into it. Then I will have pop, I'll give a hard one

to help action. Sweet. And I'm holding pop, I'll give a hard one to help action. Sweet. And I'm holding my claw action. Okay, great. So you're just making the fucking jaws go down, fire, or is spurting out of the mouth of this insane monster truck. That is the devil's turn.

I'm gonna stop rolling for Boundor and these stupid fucking spine devils. I use this thing, just drinking beer together now. You see Boundor and these stupid fucking spine devils. I use just you just drinking here together now You see you see Boundore's just like flying off with all these stupid fucking devil bats all around in the Fuck I'll deal with these He rides off. They're just gonna all deal with each other. You're doing the Lord's work That is the tormentors turn. They're gonna go after Bumblebee What? My doctor my fucking niece the tormentors turn they're gonna go after Bumblebee. Oh what my dog.

My fucking niece. Mom what are they doing? Oh nothing honey everything's fine. I'm gonna sing that song you loved when you were a baby. What was that? Scooby-dobby-dobby-dobby. I know this is a bad time but how am I related to Bumblebee? She's your hapsis.

Okay. Stay away from my hapsis. The first, first tormentor, Mrs. Bumblebee. Second one rolls a fucking that one. Bumblebee is the luckiest fucking monster in the land. They are gonna ride up on her and jettis slice her with the sides. Stay back. Jesus Christ.

She saves on her deck save on the first one. She misses on the second one. So she takes 12 damage. She's pretty hardy. She's still looking okay. I don't know if she can keep fighting two cars though. Back around, two hard ones. Yes. I got the claw going.

And then you also got pop up by your side. Just growling. I'm giving you a hell of a action. Okay, I'm gonna throw down my hammer and say, Hey Russ, why don't you fight me like a man? And I'm gonna try to suplex him over the tank into the chomping mouth that moves you. I'm gonna say, yes. Sweet, here's what I'm gonna try to suplex him over the tank into the chomping mouth that moves you. Yes.

Sweet, here's what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say you need to hit his AC on like a shove attack to get him near it. So you're not gonna use your proficiency or anything. This will just be a strength thing. You can keep making attacks until you're successful and then once you're there, you can do a post-athletics check

to try to wrestle him in. All right. That's a not 20. Ah! Ah! Heck yeah! Yes! You drop your hammer, run forward, push him super hard.

He flies back in front of the tank. Jaws are snapping down as moonshine has prepared this. Hard one, you hop down, let's go ahead and do a strength check between you and Russ. You're not stronger than me, you're smarter than me. That's different. Actually Russ, I'm both 18. That's a 20 for Russ.

I'm gonna use a luck point. Yeah, okay. So rust is gonna have to reroll. Oh, fuck yeah. Do you feel him start to overpower you? And then something on the wind changes your fates here. Hopefully. That's a 15 for him.

Wow. So hard one, you feel him start to overpower you and you just fling yourself back, kick your foot up and throw rust into the jaws. I feel some tiny little possum hands at my back. Yeah, just supporting you so gently. Just making sure that you're supporting the weight right so that this doesn't hurt tomorrow. I'm good. I'm good. Thanks for this pop pop pop. Moonshine. I'm gonna say it's normally 66. I'm gonna say this is a critical an auto crit because you crit on the push. So you're like throwing this dude into this like

fucking hell furnace of metal jaws. So let's say 12 d6 of damage. Oh my god. It's a nice hefty fucking amount of damage. He'll squide. Feels good. 48. Jeez.

Yeah. Or when you watch as you fling rust over your head inside, you dust your hands off as there's this explosion of fire and your screams of agony, but he horror movie crawls back out. Um, but it's like lava skin, a light with flame that fucking hurt dude and you, you cheated by doing that roll move. That was dumb. Tactically, it doesn't hard ones still have an attack.

You wanna do another opposed athletics check? Yeah, I'm gonna just try to push him back into the chomper. Wait, no, that's cheap. 16, 26. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You throw him right back in, this time it's just 66. I got it.

I'm getting freaking chomped again. Stay down, no. The smart thing to do would be to just go back into the chopper yourself 19 get devoured by a device of your own creation It's if I could as if I could make this ever since I became warlord We've been making way less stuff and using the stuff that we already have and breaking a lot of stuff all right Look all around you and you see all these junked infernal war machines. I almost think Rust is a better collector

that's just like, he is destroying it from the inside. You shit. He is systematically destroyed hell. Yeah, yeah. Rust. He doesn't want to escape, he just loves it because he just gets the fucking kill people. Oh my gosh, should we keep him alive?

As much as I hate this guy. Yeah, he's like incompetently chaotic. Rust, uh, I have a question. Yeah, where do bad people go when they die of hell is sealed off? Well hell's not sealed off. They come here and then they fight for me or we watch him fight But if it was sealed off where would the bad people go? Huh for me or we watch him fight. But if it was sealed off, where would the bad people go? Huh. This might be the wrong guy to have. Does this do any psychic damage to him? I think about that. Yeah, he takes four psychic damage.

Oh, I'm a fricking addict. Shut up. Then that is, okay, after Hard One's turn, he is, oh, but moonshine is operating the, um, the, uh, jaws, so he can't do the same to you. No fair, you had help, admit you had help. Yeah, I have a lot of help, I have friends, people like me. Oh, fucking loser, man. Fucking loser, cuz I have friends, and I have help.

Hard one is an, hard one's an uncle I have a lot of pride and joy in my life Blood of my blood he just creeps He's gonna try to bite you. He does 20 to hit does not do it. Jesus. He guys are so good now He's going to take two attacks with a spear, shout out to the fucking two crew. That is a 21 to hit on the last one. Hey, there you go man, you got me.

Ow, just stabs you with a flaming spear for 27 damage. Yeah, you raised the effects of Beverly's inspiring speech. You have to hear you. Yeah, you raised the effects of Beverly's inspiring speech. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Miss Mrs. Tlai's I recall a couple misfires malfunctions. The other one Under your watch It's gonna try to It's gonna hop out and try to stab at Beverly Okay, he misses on one attack. He does hit on the other for a big seven damage to you Beverly Oh no

Get out You don't have a license to operate this. I have a learner's permit Well, then you're gonna need somebody in there with you Okay, get in here. Try to squirm in. This is a weird video where we make the earlier one. There's a second steering wheel. Go ahead, you can take that one.

And just tell me if I'm doing anything wrong. That is Bev's turn. All right, so there's one guy next to me. You're on-road instructor. When Rust got out of the main cockpit Yes Did he leave the door open? Is it a yes? He's a fucking idiot you could definitely drive start driving it if you want drive the house House, a bouncer just fighting bats drive it drive it just a little bit so you drive over rust

I don't know, just fighting bats. Drive it, drive it just a little bit so you drive over rust. Yep, I missed these steps. Actually, I don't even need a missed these steps, do I? You would need to take an opportunity attack if you didn't missed these steps. I'll go ahead and missed these steps then. Sweet. And I missed these steps right into the cockpit.

Jeez, that's Christ. Let me see what this learner's permit can do. Erlin, I'm driving, check me out. Go as fast as you can, but as short of a distance as you can. His hard one is right there. Oh no, oh gosh, it's a big shift. It's not only no manual. Yeah, I'm gonna say hard ones right there.

I mean, Rust was literally trying to bite him. So if you're gonna try to hit, try to hit him, I'll make a, I can get out of the way. I'm gonna let it, I'm a remarkable athlete. All right, this is risky, but I'm gonna try it. Sweet, you drive forward. What do I, what kind of check do I make? You don't make a check, we just make deck saves.

Oh great, so hard one, make a deck save. Well, 15. You and Rust save, you guys both. Oh, okay. I'm glad the hard one saved. While guys both. Oh, okay. I'm glad the heart won't save. While I'm up in the cockpit, do I notice any like trap doors or any sort of like, yeah, there's a lot to get deeper into the, yeah, certainly. Yeah, we want to get deeper inside, certainly.

Cool. If you want to use your movement, can I wedge something something on this steering wheel so it starts going in a circle Yeah Sweet I'll allow that yet. It just starts fucking spinning wildly awesome, and then I head down the hatch sweet Cool, let you do perception checks and stuff on your next turn to see what you can find That is bumblebee's turn bumblebee go after Brust our beautiful bumblebee is fighting two fucking dune boogies right now. Call your fucking minions off my niece. Bumblebee grabs the one tormentor, flips it upside down. You guys see it explodes and fills with black smoke,

fully kills one of them. I don't care how spoiled she is. I'm getting her ice cream today. Bumblebee, as soon as I learn how to drive, I'll teach you how to drive. That is back around to Moonshine's turn. Yeah, it's all up right at the claw. Sweet.

So yeah, you time it to when the jaws are spinning near rust, go ahead and make an attack roll. 26. Jesus, 66 of damage to rust. Yes. You're cheating. God, you can't just stay out of the Johnson. You stole my car. I'm not in the car, dude. You're a friend. You're a friend. You're a friend. You're a friend. You're a friend. 25 damage. 25 damage and pop Papa is also going to attack.

He's right there. Oh yeah, Papa's up in the mix. You have a freaking rat friend. Papa and crit. She's us. Yeah, you'd be careful. Bear you in paperwork. Yo, Russ just rolled a nat one on being prone.

He has been knocked prone. Oh, that means that hard one. You're going to get advantage on all your attacks. Wow, that is fun. Papa does 17. Good for Papa and knocks him down. Papa, fuck some right up. That is, you see, Bounder in the spine, he's just fighting in the distance, having an epic battle.

I chuck a bud heavy like a vortex as far as I can. It hits a spiny devil. Again, I'm driving, guys. That is the tormentors turn. It's gonna go, oh, it crits with the harpoon. Harp fucking me. Unbumblebee. Unbumblebee.

No. He's away from my daughter. That is 30 damage to bumblebee. Unbumblebee. No. He's away from my daughter. That is 30 damage to Bumblebee. Bumblebee is looking. Extremely injured. I'm going to heal Bumblebee. Tough world out there, Bumblebee. I'll take a full disengage on my turn.

Bumblebee fails her deck save to get out of the way of the sides. Takes another nine damage. That is hard one's turn. If anyone can handle it, you can, Bulbulbi. Stay strong. Thanks, Uncle Aron. Can I ask,

Nagmy Hammer and Hits, Russ with the next? Yeah, and when he have advantage on all of his attacks? How do you have advantage on attacks? Sweet. He cut it out, man. So I crit on the first one. Fucking stop. Amazing.

17 on the next one. Total. Yeah. Doesn't hit. Oh wait, 18. A total? Yeah. Doesn't hit. Oh wait, 18. 18 hits. Yes. Woo!

And then a 17 on the last one. 17 does not do it. Okay, so with the crit, Jesus Christ. I'm gonna have to do it nice. 55 damage. He is so hurt. All right, man, I tap. Whoa, okay. Whoa okay alright call it up. Mojang charge don't out the choppers. He tapped. He tapped. That's fair. He tapped. He tapped. Call

your fucking minion. Call your fucking minion off. That's heart that's my niece out there. Yeah if you say Bumpa B we'll save you and all we'll all need is your soul coins. Can I have some soul coins? Yeah. Sure, yeah. We only owe Josh the ones that we get. Only a rip chain one. Can I have like a lot? How about you, Ab? How about we won't...

Mostly like melted lava at this point. Just like melting away. Fear reports, or as I say, let's just knock him on conscious wall, Josh lutes him. That could work too. You can do not let him some little damage to him if you want to not dust him.

Yeah, I'll do not let him. Go ahead and roll your damage on your second attack. You will probably be able to do it. Oh, I did total my great and- Oh, well then he's still alive. Yeah. Okay. That is his turn. Ah.

He's going to disengage and then start waving for a tormentor to pick him up. We need to go. We need to freaking go. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. He's trying to, he's trying to, he's trying to, he's trying to to do it.

He's trying to, he's trying to, he's trying to, he's trying to do it. We need to freaking go. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat.

He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat.

He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. He's trying to cheat. I restrain you, stop you from chasing him. Stay back, hold him back, hold him back. Are you guys serious? Hard one, go ahead and give me a grapple check.

14. The one guy got a 22, so they do successfully tackle you and push you down. Goward, Rust starts running away. That is your turn, Bev. OK, so Moonshine used a locate object before. Yes. Yeah, but that's concentration that's not happening anymore.

It's not like pinging. Right, but like, did you get a, you just get a bead on it, you don't get like a picture of a roof. Bev, there are thousands of these things, so they're not super hard to find. Okay, literally like get down from the cockpit and you see that there are essentially lockers. They look like pretty heavily armored,

but you can surmise right away that this is where they are. You can even sense kind of evil from them. I'll just report this for and say, I've located the treasure. Excellent. And then maybe I'll just like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna use Dimension Door to go right to where Rust is.

Hell. Yeah! Oh, but then you can't attack. Is it a bonus? Is it a bonus action or an action? It's an action. Okay. Yeah, the rest is still cool.

Can I like try and get there and like, just rip it? Yeah. I will let you Dimension Door. I'll let you do an opposed athletics check against him. Okay, you want to like try to essentially land right on top of him to tackle him. A beautiful silver gateway appears,

and I just jump through it and try and launch my entire body at rest. Sweet. Did Bev just cannonball? Try for Jackknife. That's a nat 20. Woo! Ha ha ha ha!

Bev, you comically just looney-tuned style fucking appear out of the sky, land on him, he is squished underneath you as you fucking sit on him. We know where all your treasure is, we know where all your coins are, it's overrust. Alright. Can I have some? You're not a wise dwarf. So I'll give you a lesson. Thanks man. Hey, I always knew you were one of the fucking cooler ones. I appreciate that. Thank you. But we don't have the authority to give you the coins. You're gonna need to parlay with Josh and we're gonna be arranging that. So you

just stay right here. I don't know what that means. You're gonna have to do mouth wrestling, Josh. Not kissing, mind wrestling. Final, make out with him. You can do that a few times. God. But you're gonna have to use words to fight. And then if you do good, maybe you'll get some coins. Huh, has that sound?

An armistice, we're gonna negotiate. The multiple syllables are not gonna work. Yeah, sorry about that. Mine, I'll talk at him. Cool, so I just restrained him and wait for the rest of them to get there. You guys have effectively destroyed the Dorphin Grindr, the crown jewel of the Bronze Bastard's army,

the morale of his crew, quickly depleted. Also, Rust is the one who is commanding all of them, so him being depleted, him being defeated, transfers to them, and they're quickly overwhelmed by Josh's forces. And you see, Josh walks over, all pumped up, short as hell, just this little devil that's super jacked and he he specifically gets up behind you hard one fucking hold me back dude hold me back man you're looking to look in 10th they tell right now tell you he's on the ground he's he's like yeah dude I'm gonna kick his ass this is what you said when you said we were gonna talk I can talk like this I'm gonna fucking kick this dudes ass man

I'm gonna kick his fucking ass man. I'm gonna kick this dudes ass man. I'm gonna kick this fucking dudes ass Hey Josh. Yeah, what's up? Yeah, you're so coins You can collect your end of the deal. Bev leads you guys Using your combined powers. You're able to rip the doors off I'll see even say bumblebee is able to help you rip the door off of these lockers and you see thousands of these golden coins with red energy permeating from them and you see Josh's eyes go wide and you go I did it on the fucking main warlord. It was good doing business whether you do you know you know what I held up my end of the deal

You held up yours. We worked together because I kicked this dude's ass and you're I him and Russ are going back and forth again I'm gonna kick your ass dude. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass dude. I'm gonna kick your ass actually You didn't hold up your end of the deal yet. I just delivered my promise and now it's time for you to deliver The fuck are you talking about? I said. I mean the deal said I get you the soul coins and I get your army. You see, you're job. Oh shit. You see, you see, Papa, someone took herself out to dinner. Oh shit! You see Papa? You see Papa? Someone took herself out to dinner.

Papa? Me? We're here with you? Go down by your shoulder, crosses his arms, and Josh goes, wait no, I didn't like fucking say it. I didn't mean it like that. Man, I introduce my lawyer. Me, me, me, me, me.

Papa, could you present the contract S-Rit and signed? Me. This is why it's important to learn how to read. Josh looks at the contract and sees the way he worded the deal. He specifically said, I get to loot all the soul coins, then you get my army. So regardless of whether or not Josh has all the soul coins now, he loses his army because of the sloppy way he worded it.

It's essentially like being like, I get to have because of the sloppy way he worded it. It's essentially like being like I I get to have all of the beers, but moonshine gets to drink them like just a truly bad deal for him So he has all of the soul coins, but can't really do anything with them now Do you want all those soul coins or do you want your life? And I make everyone like a line, like encircle them with spears out like to his jugular. You see, I take my stance right against, right next to Bumblebee.

Yeah, you see, you see Bumblebee? Yeah, can we say that from behind me, Bumblebee stands up and like towers over. Everyone has surrounded Josh. Here's what I'm offering y'all right now. You give me the soul coins and you and Russ, I'm gonna put y'all up in a nice two bedroom apartment and you can have your lives.

With a Jack and Jill bathroom obviously. With a Jack and Jill bathroom. Little balcony. A Julia I thought can you. Jack and Jill bathroom and a Julia bathroom. Go ahead and give me a persuasion to check with advantage. It's gonna be 15. 15?

I mean, they are super defeated and surrounded by enemies. You see, even as Josh goes to try to like grab a coin and threaten the soul of one of the minions, somebody throws a spear past his head, and he has to stop and drop it. And you see, Rust is pinned under Beverly superher, and Josh turns to him and he goes, I mean, it sounds like it could be freaking fine.

And Rust goes, Sounds like it could be freaking fine and rust goes Do you read dude and Josh goes? No, I'm rings for losers man. Oh Do you like lift? Yeah, dude, I fucking like live at the gym man. Oh, that's cool Cuz I can like lift a lot, but I don't have any kind of program or anything. Oh, dude, you got to get on a program, man. Abs are made in the kitchen, dude. That's why you got all this mass, but you don't know what to do with it. Like, we could really scope something here.

Josh walks over and starts talking to Rust about a workout routine. This is going exactly how I hoped it would. I think they could use one more roommate. Do you know maybe a three-some, maybe like a three-person studio they could live in? Anywhere? I actually got a place y'all could live. And I point to my belly chain. Oh, this is gonna be freaking sick. Would you like to trap them in the belly chain?

I think I would like to invite them to be trapped in the belly chain. So I go for a computer. It's forward here. Just one controller. You gotta bring your own. You see Josh and Russ to look at each other. Yeah, we're good man. I'm sorry. As funny as it would be to actually trap them. I feel like I need to give them some agency. And then I, Bev, I want to check with you because my instinct, I don't, my instinct is wild and I don't know the repercussions of this. I kind of just want to make it rain soul coins and hopefully all the soul coins would find their souls. Yeah, I'm willing to sit here for a little while and try to match everybody with their own souls.

Let's get real bureaucratic about it, honestly. On long lines and red tape, let's do it. Do you know, is there anything in your book that would advise that that is like team-drag- I bet you would know right off the bat that these coins will find their owners super quickly. Like you can throw them up in golden snitch style, they'll fly to their people.

And Bev, you'd know that it and golden snitch style. They'll fly to their people and Bev you'd know that It would just free their souls. They wouldn't go to heaven They would just cease to exist in endless torture. So they'd be at peace. I guess. Yes. Cool. I mean It's true that maybe these people weren't the best on earth, but I don't think anyone deserves this Yeah, I feel like they've served their sentence and if they haven't. Yeah, well two people deserve this. Yeah, I've pointed at Rust and the job. But I feel like I'm giving them slightly better life.

They have friendship now. Yeah, that's what they needed in the material. Rust and Josh are devils, so they actually don't have souls. Oh, yeah, so coins. So I guess I set up a little T-ball, a little T-ball thing, and I start putting soul coins on it, and I'm about bomb will be and beb and hard one

to sort of like, you know, thwack them out. I start grilling hot dogs on the engine of the bus. Things get nuts. Rip chain even comes by. Wow, this seems like a fucking fun cookout, dude. Hey, Jane, I wish I got a soul coin for you, but moonshine kept them all too herself. Rip chain even comes by wow, this seems like a fucking fun cook out dude I wish I got a soul coin for you, but moonshine kept them all too small. I'm so sorry. I was greeting

Get one someday man So yeah, there is a big Hellish celebration. This is the happiest day that's ever fucking happened in hell You, it's a great time for the episode. You have the biggest inhale. Like if he gives it away. You start throwing these coins out and... Wait, do we have a little t-shirt cannon? No, we have a clay pigeon shooter. Yeah.

You see the minotors and the various cursed creatures and zombies and different types of humanoids catch them. And you see, it looks like they evaporate. They turn to ghosts and they fade away, but they look like normal people before they die. Like a lot of them are nights, a lot of them are soldiers because this, a lot of the people here were in wars and whatnot. And they turn into regular humanoids and then they disappear. and they turn into regular humanoids and then they disappear.

What about bumblebee? You see bumblebee? I heal bumblebee. I do a six level heal bumblebee so she gets 70 hit points back. Thanks mom, but that won't be necessary. I'm gonna go now. Yeah, you should because in about,

in about 20 minutes. In about 20 minutes, you're gonna realize a charm to you. So yeah, you know what, let's have a good bye. I can't wait my little girl's going off to college. You know what, Mom? Yeah. You would have charmed me even without this bell.

Oh. Oh. Bubblebee, you've charmed us. You stole our art, Bumblebee. Hey, Bumblebee gives you guys a hug and then turns into 17 different people who all announce various heinous crimes they committed. Wait, maybe just a quiet thing. But if you, but if you, of them are like, I was only 16

and I got drafted into this war and I needed to know what was going on. And I got scared. I made a deal with the devil to try to get out of it. Yes, invincible. The invincible decision makes me see a few of the other ones raised their hands. And there's another girl that goes, yeah,

there were some monsters that were trying to get into my home. And so a devil said that he would make me strong and I fought them, but then I died and I I came here who has it made a deal with a devil See another one goes I liked it's when the enemy's had god dogs cuz then I could kill a dog All right, he stops Fati turns back no big Give his pants I give his going to rip salt. Yeah. Give the big dude.

Give this big dude. Consider our contract fulfilled. I like shout out. Has anyone done anything worse than a felony? Raise your hand. You don't get your coin. They raise their hand. I think the lesson for the better everyone just maybe say your favorite memory before

you disappear forever instead of your biggest crime. That's a good idea. It's a good idea. It's a dog killer doesn't get a memory. So yes, there were people here that did some heinous crimes who you stopped from taking their coins. I guess we've just stopped them. But there were many, many people who just made deals with devils that were kind of in the same position

that Bev was in. So both of your contracts are fulfilled. I think the real hero in that is a certain legal mind. Rainier. Possum square. Rainier. No, you're possum square. Rainier. Yes, so your guys' contracts are all broken. You guys have done what no one else has done

on the first layer of hell, which is given up power. You could have taken these soul coins, and you could have brought this army with you through the various layers of hell, but instead you just released everyone you had mercy. Hard one you see your newly formed horns retract back into your head. Whoa. You'll probably get them back in lust.

I'll keep my hair up just in case. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh! Yeah! Oh, that was a fun one. Wow, I cannot wait to talk to Emily about, oh my gosh, that was a big move. I love saying hell yeah at the end of the episode, because it makes sense. Earlier today, Emily was asking me what Josh's exact words were. And I realized, I was like, damn, I wasn't very careful in how I spoke, and then I listened to it and I center what he said, and I was like, I think I might be fucked.

Don't say another word, this is short, this is crazy. But it makes sense, it's Josh, Josh is dumb. Yup. I mean, I tried to give him a happy ending. I think you did. He did, yeah, you had a lot of mercy on Josh. Save it, save it.

Save it. Save it for the short rest guys. Head on over to patreon.com slash nadpod. That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't say it. Yeah. That's our Patreon guys. What else do we got to plug? Oh, me and Emily got a TV show.

Check out Hot Date Season 2 on Fridays on Pop TV at 10 and 10.30, two episodes every week. Please watch it, it's so cool when we do well with the network. Yeah, better chance of Season 3 if y'all watch. And guys, download the Pop Now app if you want to watch all 10 episodes right now because they're all out. They are. Called out what he got. You know what? I'm just going to keep plugging the PO box. Nothing to shout out this week, but that number is 1920 Hillhurst Avenue,

number 222, Los Feliz, California at 90027. Send us fun little treats and goodies and dice and enjoyment. Send us to your wet. Tell us say enjoyment. Please send us enjoyment. Yeah, if you could write in attention, enjoyment on your package.

That's so, I'm putting up enjoyment lately. I feel like the novelties maybe would have been better. No, let's go with enjoyment. No, we call them enjoyment. It sounds like the packages are gonna be wet. Yeah, I know Enjoy Sounds like we all have to receive packages like that Well, we'll just take stuff

Goodies and enjoyments to Caldwell. We'll just take stuff. Yeah, Jake, what are you up to? I'll like the pleasures and tickles. Oh, that's even worse. I don't want to be part of the field box. Me and Jake will just have stuff. Just add me online. Yeah.

Simultrivalities and enjoyments. I got brotherSisterCo.com. Once again, beard oil, check it out. That's an enjoyment. Family is important. Bumblebee will respect that. Absolutely. Guys.

You could use the sister, Mr. Actually. Yeah. To mold her over all of the, you know, the sky. Oh, you're scarring and having being several different people so together. Seven votes, yeah, exactly. Bumblebee is 17 different people. I want to see some Bumblebee better.

Some of them, some of them enjoyment you could send to us. Some of them were really bad. Some of them not so bad. One of them was not an enjoyment you could send to us. Some of them were really bad. Some of them not so bad. One of them was probably an actual B. Yeah. One of them big wasps. Yeah, what would it be, dude? Go to hell.

Like it was a devil. So it was a devil. Yeah. Guys, follow us on Twitter at CHMURFZME. I call these call-dwell. Adi asked for it's Emily. At J. Kerr, it's Jake. And you get to it about the show using hashtag NADPA.

That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are. Youthage's J. Can you get to it about the show using hashtag nampod that's n-e-d-d-p-o-d. We are we are, youth of the nation, we are we are, youth of the nation. It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. We love you. I'd like to do it. Starting with Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steel Breaker and Spencer Caskbrew, the pit demon crew for the dwarf and grinder.

Fortunately for the band of boobs, they were all on a smoke break during the fight and were instantly run over. Nice. You, your man, Dan, Errimiz, W. Spartis, Adam R are Dan yell the dastardly dame five Halfling demons from a small village called hell home unsurprisingly they are all Directly related to the Pebblepots and of course hall door frostback multi-four Jordan DJ Jeffrey S and cutter w Members of the new Jim founded by Rust and Josh. It's the only workout facility that's got mirrors

on literally every surface. It's got bulk cut. Shoeberthemushroom, Ryan M, Elina C, Mixologist Michael D, and Andrew M, the first Crick elves to attend Glade Home University. They're having trouble with math, but we're able to take advanced wrestling due to all their AP credits.

Thank you. And we've got Victor T. Balnor's boy, Justin I, Jacob C, and Elena M. Balnor's extended family who is currently missing him at their annual reunion. Bobbing for tuna just isn't the same without him. Nasty. Mick Hux, Earl and Kathleen L. Jive G. and Jostrich, the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and by that I mean a group of Bahumian centaurs who'd like to do Doomsday prepping.

Damn you are, Destiny's Sea, Devon B, Beverly's Dad's only friends and hell they get together every Friday for light beers and mild disemballing of the innocence. Oh no, Daddy! Sergio Salazar, Solomon Sakurai, Estes Aquani, Michael L L. Sam H. Traylee the cray-fay, and Aaron G. The auto body shop that services the dwarven grinder. When it's metal jaw-chip to tooth, this team of mechanics fixed it and threw in a detail for free. That's service.

Alucard, Jorias, Baby Doc, Adam H, and Ryan, Erdan's drinking buddies from Uni used to go out hard. That is to say, they used to quiz each other about alchemy over turmeric lattes. Oh my, sounds fun. Oh my. Troy McSee, Big Buck, Richard, X Machina, cannibalistic Cthulhu and Sam L, the award-winning production company

behind the hit reality show, Hoss Conters. Looking for an open floor plan? Hoss, look over there. That was a mystery, but it really worked. And of course, Dom Ardjash has, Let's bring Jimmy Tric, Caleb Storm, a niche group of necromancers called Technomancers. Did your phone or computer die? They will bring them back to life!

But at what cost? At what cost? Oh, dark stuff. Nicholas C. Mike H. Matthew E. Samuel B. The runway models who model Renee's finest suits and wears in Ezra's annual Fashion Week. Rumor has it, Renee actually calls them in before he designs his suits to inspire himself. Wow. Till for G Colton B. Jens Christian T. Engage M. A Barbershop quartet in the Feywild who

used their delightful harmonies to trap the souls of their listeners into cookies, those who have had the fortune to be turned back before being eaten and claimed they wouldn't change a thing. Then, Erin C. Ellen D. TJ M. the known barbarian and RPKB, a feral comedy of to- colony of to-backsy, who Roomba Humea, having babies in other people's backyards and making those people take care of them, a curse in some ways, but mostly a blessing. And who good forget, trash the traveler, anime, intellect, jolo, dolo, lyrissa, jay, or Dylan, cm, they are Rustin Josh's new neighbors who are always down to clown. It's like a friend situation,

except with a bunch of devil douchebags, lifting weights, and drinking nattie lights. I can get down to it. Kelvin Noodle's B Money, J, Heartless Master, and CC Lulu, the green teens who arrived late to the Jamboreen, and were never told it was canceled. They went to the scheduled canoe tour,

and were also captured by Bullywugs, and they are still there to this day. Wow, it'll all be. Paul B, Barnes and Adir, Eric G, Jackalope Audity, and Zach C, a crew of wizard tutors who joined Ren and his family in their move to the Glade Home Kings private island and are secretly plotting to kill everyone. Solidarity. Nice. Joshua C. Aiden R. L. E. K. Luke H. Not only do these Crick Elves know how to read they are each spelling beach champions.

Spelling bees at the Crick are of course rastling men. And also an airborne bee that knows how to spell better than the cracks. Genius. I'm hopeless. Timmy are Alex M. Aaron RS. They are a motorcycle gang in the lust layer of hell called the Husk musks.

They ride around and get horny for husk. Ooh, who does that? Like me. Lucas B. Rubin Egg, Jordan L. Laura S. musks, they ride around and get horny for husk. Ooh, who does that? Like me. Lucas B, Ruben Egg, Jordan L, Lara S, and Jay Parker. Five of the people that made up Bumblebee's body. Luckily, they were five of the good ones who just made deals with devils. Except Jay Parker, who wants push to crick Bullywug into an alligator's open mouth.

Take his soul coin. Austin C, Austin MR, just a pissed off Triss aka touch it and Kaylee Elise a crew of scrappy dwarfs who won the annual Iron Deep Minecart race against the Snotty Rich Kids in retaliation the rich kids convinced their parents to stop funding the dwarfs and edge. What? Devin W Chenowabee Jared E and Perse, the new owners of Snotz Yacht, they upgraded the sound system to 19 solo cups, placed haphazardly around the deck and it bumps. See, I'm set of sonos.

Freeze NS, Jackie, Haley, Eric, and Andrea B. Stole Martha Togolds sticky bun recipe and are making a small fortune off it through a pastry home delivery service, enterprising and rude. Can't stand it. Steven C. Diane W. Maxwell C. Mike K. and Michael M. Kakao's siblings who have heard of the good fortune was towed upon their lucky brother. Kakao's character and loves by nurturing soul

blessed by an innate camaraderie with feathered beasts. Whoa. Or damn. No, hey, you editorialize something. I know what you're talking about. Omri M. Caleb L. Charer Arcadeus and Scott D.

Parolegals at Papa's new law firm. Scramble, ramble, and rear. Papa is up to his adorable little ears in litigation and he needs all the help he can get. Scramble, ramble, and rear is jammed out. No, throw the prodigy ranger, Shane B, the pinch, and Dan. Skeletal kittens just birthed by Erdan's cat, Bubbles. Bubbles, there is a line of mile and a half long in Glade Home to apply to a doctor. I first of mine.

Richard C, Karen T, Joshocenec and Curtis S. Ripchains new motorcycle crew. Ripchains. Chain Gang. No one will ever replace Dan Saut in our hearts and minds, but these guys definitely surpassed Buzzer. Fuck Buzzer. And finally, Michael C. B.J. L. Nikki W, Andrew B, and Christopher B, hard one spotters, he's convinced he doesn't need them, but they're actually doing a ton of the lifting with hard ones new half-elf body.

Fuck. Wow. Thank you guys so much. Thank you to all of our listeners. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers, and thank you to our Council of Elders. We'll catch you guys next time. Thank you!

Bye, Olivia. Bye, Andy. Bye. That was a hate gun podcast. So we'll catch you guys next time. Thank you! I love you. I love you.

Bye. That was a Hate Gum podcast.