Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 79: Honey Trap (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: October 17, 2019

Go to https://nordvpn.com/pawpaw to get 70% off a 3 year plan and use code pawpaw for an extra month for free. Protect yourself online today!The Band of Boobs follow the River Styx down to the next layer of Hell and explore a world of temptation! Hardwon pursues a lost love, Moonshine becomes a nightmare, and Beverly gets into a heated encounter with a powerful devil. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Deal with a Devil" by Emily Axford."Buzzer's Cutters" by Emily Axford."Fierna" by Emily Axford."The River Styx" by Emily Axford."Lust" by Emily Axford."The Honey Trap" by Emily Axford."A Risky Gamble" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, surefoot. Emily Axford. Moon Giant Saban. Defeator of the Jacked By Way of Contract. Nice. Bravo. And of course, called Oltanner.

Beverly Togo, the fifth Defeator of Devils, DeCinder of Levels. Nice. Yeah. That's right. We did level Beth down. Oh yeah. But if you level, he's level eight now. I just need to root down. Oh, short rest and so jump one up. Yeah, check it out patreon.com, such an app pod.

Guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys rallied your forces and attacked Rust's compound, engaging in a demolition derby. During the battle your cruel bus was destroyed and your imp friends bogged big and bagged or killed. We'll never forget you one out. Imp family, Murph. Yeah.

Who rescued you? Who rescued you? About the hands. Who rescued you? We don't even have a bus to put a bumper sticker on anymore. Arguably nobody rescued anybody. Oh, exempt. We definitely didn't rescue them. They're dead. They're super dead. Yeah, you don't have to ask who rescued you. They didn't really play into the battle that much at all. I don't know if the Harpoon even hit once. We really imposed. Oh, the battle that much at all. I don't know if the Harpoon even hit once. We really imposed.

Oh, awful. Here's another level gone. Oh no! So you guys successfully, down to 18, you guys successfully boarded Rust's tank, the Dwarfen Grinder, then defeated him in combat and secured his Soul Coin Cache. Munchine offered the coins over to Josh, but reminded him the terms of their contract that if Munchine holds up her end of the deal, she gets Josh's army due to the sloppy way

in which he worded the agreement. Josh was outmaneuvered by Moonshine and forced to give up his soul coins. You guys returned the coins to the various lost souls and they were finally at peace, except for the one who said he enjoyed killing guard dogs and he gave his coin to rip chain. Yeah, there you go. He never rests.

You guys also showed mercy towards Josh and Rust electing to set them up as roommates rather than kill them. Arguably a fate worse than death is having to live with either one of life in prison. Sure. As I know, this is like a comedy podcast. prison, sure. As I know, this is like a comedy podcast. We were like, okay, what's the silliest way we can wrap this up? Yep. They're going to be going apartment hunting this Sunday. Imagine if the Game of Thrones they did that.

What if all the Lannisters were just roommates? Cool. So that's where we are now. Okay. Rust and Josh walking off into the hellish sunset, talking about their workout routines. So you guys right now. I don't know. It's my first day.

We all met, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, there's three of us. I did talk a lot about one of our stuff routine. Yeah, that's a lot of stuff. I've had a hard one does talk about it a lot. So that instant chemistry like we're gonna be friends. Brilliant squats a day.

Yeah, I think they're gonna do great things. You see they just like kick a dude. Oh, don't do it. Who is downtown, you're a dying issue. Probably another dog killer. They both worry. Yeah. So right now you guys are on Rust's compound

with all of these junked, infernal war machines. The only buildings left standing are three watch towers. The keep that was sitting there had turned into the dwarf and grinder and fought you. So it has moved out of the way, it is currently out of place and out of commission. The keep has moved and that gives you a full view of the river sticks behind it.

You can see it flowing from this great waterfall that begins up in the sky through a plain archate. The water is murky, this dark black purplish color. The water moves very slowly. The consistency seems thick. It bubbles. And you can even smell in the air here, the way that if you are on the beach in real life, you'd be able to smell like the salty freshness.

It smells like shit here. It smells like garbage. It smells bad. Brimstone and sulfur. Yeah, it smells a little bit like shit, like rot. Yeah, like rot. And you guys see in the splashing water, it almost looks like hands reaching out.

Oh. It looks very dangerous and ominous. You know, some green and white nights refer to the portal that the stick's empties from as Pellorous Toilet. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Oh, he must take some really steamy loads, ever.

Absolutely, by choice. I can see why you worship him. Ha, ha, ha. They say that when life is cruel, that is when Pellor is taking one of his legendary dumps. Oh, because he's gone for a while. Yeah. He's having office hours, quotation marks.

Hard one laughs hard. Like a dad's having office hours, quotation marks. Hard one laughs hard like a dad who just got to the hotel room. Polar just eating nachos and margaritas and they're just blowing up the toilet. Who would in the lobby, Polar? Oh, Christ, who would in the lobby? Dad blowing up the shared hotel bathroom instantly. Very relatable to me. Beverly pulls out a single match and lights it. Waves it around in the air. Careful about near the river.

It seems very flammable. You guys do see that there are a few ships here on the shore. The most easily navigable looks to be a small infernal steamship. It has a short deck and a cabin with paddle wheels and a funnel that burns orange and black ash. It's painted in blood all along the side and the paddles have extremely metal spikes on them. I put on my captain's hat. Sweet, you head on over to the boat and you see that it does look like some sailor imps. Did a sand. So cute.

And they do have little sailor suits that were left behind. If there was a magic figathering card for like a blue black deck, that was sailor imp. Oh my God. I would build a whole deck around that. So cute. I instantly drank a one and it's beautiful.

No, it's not. They're gone. Oh great. Oh, wonderful. Oh, yeah, I'll try to fit into an Impsailor costume. Yeah. Beverly puts one on it and mostly fits. Moonshine puts one on it.

Does not fit. I assume it fits. Papa, we're going to let this one out a little bit. Bring it here. Bring it here. It is Moonshine's fit is obscene. Hahaha. I just assume it's normal.

Wow, how are you that lucky? It's like a melty hourglass. Damn. Hahaha. Can I inspect the controls on this boat so you don't know how to do it? Yeah, go ahead and do, um, just like a vehicle proficiency check. You can add plus five because that's your proficiency. Can I quick like case it for like traps

or anyone down below? Go ahead and make an insight check or perception check or investigate 15. 15, hard one you are able to get it started. Where is like a kitten? 24. 24. Yeah, moonshine you go down below deck. This is a kitten. 24. 24. Yeah, Moonshine, you go down below deck.

This is a very small ship. It doesn't look like anybody's hiding down here. It looks like whoever was manning the ship probably was freed when you guys try out all the soul coins. If there are any smaller suits down there. Yeah. I look for a smaller suit. Yeah, it looks like there was a little Gremlin or something that had one who was even smaller than an M.

Bringer up. Okay. I bring it up to Hard One. You bring it up to Hard One. It looks like a doll's shirt. I try that on. He rips it soon. You're cutting it.

You're cutting it too much. Oh, thank you. Told you guys I was still huge. And it's like having a, you have like a bandana on your wrist essentially right now. All right. I'll have a sailor's bracelet. And it's like having a you have like a bandana on your wrist essentially right now All right, I'll have a sailor's bracelet She's like the dirtiest village people so hard one as you started up you see the The paddles in the front like the wheels start moving forward and

Inches into the river sticks and you guys are about to take off into the river is everybody on board everybody cool with this yeah can I do a perception check and see what kind of things are in the river and yeah go ahead and make our perception check yeah I'd like to do a couple I'd like to kind of assess the situation before everybody go ahead and give me a perception check as you guys I have some specific things I'd like to ask okay that's okay. Yep, 21. 21, hard one, you look into the water and like I explained before, as the waves kind of clap up and you see streaks of water kind of go up into the air, occasionally you'll catch, it looks like something reaching out, trying to get out.

This looks like bad water, do not not drink it do not get into it That is your instinct as soon as you're near it. Okay, uh, Bev What did you get on your perception? I got a three a three. I tried to give one of the hands away from the beam bud Just seem friendly Bev even without any kind of good perception check You just know you sense evil from it. Okay, it. It is a stinking evil river of bad. I grab a gondola pole and I just start poking at the hands. Get back, get back, get back. Okay.

Are there any fiends around? You do not see any devils around. You guys released a bunch of people. There is nobody in the immediate vicinity. Okay, cool, cool. I try and draw them out with reverse psychology. Be like, sure, glad they're only fiends around. So it can be finally party.

I say that. A Gremlin jumps up and tries to grab you, but you're ready for it. And you, uh, uh, judo throw it down. Ah, I've never seen reverse psychology work that fast and that effectively. I would like to complain our binding on what does it do to him. When this value attempt to bind a celestial and elemental affair or a fiendy service, the creature must be within range for the entire casting of the spell. On the completion of the casting target must make a curse and save it from.

I don't fail to save it is bound to serve you for the duration. For how long is the duration? 24. Jesus Christ. Should have stayed hidden bud. Also do you have a smaller nut one? Oh! You have a Gremlin

Hello friend what's your name? Oh, my name is Azarak Azarak how do you feel about being our first mate or perhaps our cabin boy? I guess for some reason I'm super into it originally I was gonna jump you But now I'm super into it originally. I was gonna jump you But now I'm sticking around Here what's up guys? I think we have a small sailors uniform for you Hold on one moment. All of these are ripped and stretched out Has rag your first strong suggestion is to get into one of the one of the small sailor costumes. Yeah, you can wear my bracelet. All right.

He puts on the extremely ripped shirt that are one ripped with his fist. It's cool, it looks piratey, it's fun. You ever driven up and down the river sticks before, Azraq? No, not really. Mostly just kind of, we try to sneak up on people, stab them in the back, try to steal their souls, type situation.

That's sort of thing. Yeah. Unless of a traveler more of like, you know, lesser criminal. Yeah, you ever bring the lust? No. Lust is hard to get into, huh? You know, it was recently with the bronze bastard

kind of taking over, but you know what? I was kind of just I was on the first layer of hell. I just kind of loved stabbing people in the back and kind of you know injuring people. That's kind of my thing. How many more people had you injured before we showed up? Because you tell me, oh, I was really bad job. Well, you know when somebody says I hope there's no demons around when I hope there's no fiends around. Yeah, I feel like that's my time to jump out from the shadows and shank them in the back. Has that plan worked before? Yeah, surprising amount of times, you know, also I'm 700 years old, so. Okay, so I have had, you know, definitely. Rust and Josh were in charge of this place. Do you think it's full of intelligent bright creatures? Some very good points, point taken. If I didn't for some reason really feel like

I like you guys a lot right now, I would again just try to get the shank right under your ribs and just kind of stick it up as far as I can, try to pierce along or something. I appreciate your honesty. I don't think that's part of the spell. Yeah, I don't think that is. No, that's just you.

I just love, I love hurting folks. Oh, your pants are falling down because of the rib. Yeah, that don't think that's part of the spell. Yeah, I don't think that is. No, that's just you. I just love hurting folks. Oh, your pants are falling down because of the rip. Yeah, that's fine. Well, we can see your genitals. I'd like to make a mental note of what time it is so that I know in 24 hours that this guy is going to try and stab me in the back. Great.

You want to head down to the furnace and just shovel whatever's down there? Yeah, yeah, will you help us? I mean, I have to, don't I? Yeah, okay, yeah, I'll go shovel some shit and do a furnace, God damn it. Okay, you actually just, you know what, I'm gonna have you do. Well, you just, you see this captain here, one on the hat, the captain's hat? Howdy.

I want you to just give him non-stop hope actions. For the next 24 hours. I'll help him out of the mess I can. Awesome. First thing we're going to do. I want to be your shadow. I appreciate that. We're going to have to set up a sound system on this piece of shit.

Find me the biggest cup down in the galley that you can. Hand is just shaking on this crude dagger. It's just like wastikin. Everything in his body is making him want to kill you, but he physically can't. All right, don't make us sound system. The bigger the cup, the better. But don't bring me back a bowl. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, he goes downstairs, he brings you back a cup. Do we see like a decline or like a dip? You guys need a travel. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, that was all I wanted to do. Okay. Yeah, let's get started.

It's pretty good. Sweet. So you guys get the boat into the water. You begin riding down the river sticks. The water is choppy and unforgiving. It doesn't flow fast. There is a viscosity to it, the way it clumps up against the bow of the ship. Everything just feels heavy. But you guys are making progress. You pass about a dozen watchtowers that are no longer manned. Now that you've defeated the bronze bastard, you pass under these walled bridges that gates are now open leading you through tunnels.

You see that this would have been an impossible trip on foot. You see the river flows through narrow valleys of tall menacing mountains. There are volcanoes exploding lava, frequent earthquakes Manacing mountains, there are volcanoes exploding lava, frequent earthquakes that disturb the river, but you press on as you slowly wind down to the next layer of hell. Bev, you have read in your book, you see that this next layer is for lust, but not just lust. It's also kind of just general passion and hedonism. The beings here we're not damned for having sex. These are beings who, you know, arranged to have significant others murdered so they could run away with our lovers. These are people who made deals with devils to be more appealing or used to dark

rituals to brew love potions. These are for narcissists, people who, you know, give in a jealousy and things like that. I say to them, it's a place full of real nasty birds. All right, nasty birds. A lot of real stones. Yeah, a lot of real funky geese down here. All right, bring on the funky geese. You see, hard one, as you're bumping the

Speaking stone in the cup. You do see that ass Iraq is toxic by Britney's is looking at the veins in your neck There's just a big ones there man. Yeah, yeah, we'll remember you stabbed them, but not for another 24 hours Here I'll absolutely 16 hours now 16 hours 37 minutes. Oh Yeah, right here. I'll absolutely do that. 16 hours now, 16 hours, 37 minutes. Oh, it's been four hours, I mean, I can try it. Yeah, you guys are riding for a while. Oh, sweet, then I'm gonna try and swallow a ride.

Oh, yeah. Can we all maybe like take shifts and rest? Yeah, sure. I'm gonna take a nap and just let, oh, well, we'll take shifts, but I just wanna let Azarac know I have 501 gold pieces. So I'm gonna go to sleep now and you can't stab me. I command Azirak not to steal.

That's fine, I'm not super interested in gold, I'm more of a, you know. You're interested in gold? I actually really want that gold. You know what? I'm surprised you didn't end up in the last, because you have a passion for stabbing my friend. That's true. That's true, I'm really close to the point of the dagger. Like a baby.

Just quiver. Just quick. Pop-up, and you just like start screeching real loud when 24 hours is up. Yeah, I set pop-up like an alarm clock. So you just turn his tail. I just like, I sit if I'm like doing it on like a phone. He's a tune. Just type it into his tummy.

Just as anal glands will be expressed. I'm trying to get my rest as nose to snooze too. So a lot more confident now that Puffhaw's on the case. So you guys, this trip takes a while. So as you guys go through these valleys and everything, you take shifts sleeping a bunch of time passes. Not 24 hours. Not 24 hours yet.

We'll say about eight hours. We'll say everybody's got in their long rest. And so you guys get your long rest in. And you see that as you wake up, as you wind down the river sticks, the landscape transitions from this menacing apocalyptic Mad Max lava storm to a surprisingly pretty landscape, the overwhelming heat subsides, the cruel mountains change to rolling hills of grain and even the river

itself begins to look more pleasant. Until eventually, it turns into a beautiful, clear stream. You can see the rocks beneath the water, the sun is shining overhead, it is beautiful and tranquil. There are large beautiful trees that bear big juicy fruits and various satyrs and dryads and woodland animals. No one touched the fruit. No one touched the fruit. Wow, you see the satyrs. Exactly. As a rack, you can have at the fruit if you feel so inclined. Really? Can I have something?

If you feel inclined. You see, Azraq hops out of the boat. He's going to do an athletics check to try to get in the fall and water. Sweet, he rolls a natural 18. He hops out of the boat, lands on the shore, starts running up, grabs a piece of fruit out of the tree a bunch of the dryads are like that's really awesome That's so cool that you would have some fruit enjoy our fruit as we're going to some fruit too as

Our act starts eating it and goes is really good. This is really fucking good And he just keeps eating it and he just keeps the boat keeps going. That's a wrap, boats leaving. Grabs another piece of fruit, keeps eating it. You just get it for the road, get it for the road. Grabs us, Grabs another fruit keeps eating it. Is he, does it look like his stomach is descending? Like it's painful? You, if you would like to stop the boat

and see the long-term effects, right now you guys are just passing by, as he is just gorging himself on this fruit. Can we see anybody else gorging themselves on fruit as well? You see a triad looks down, and goes like, oh my God, is that like a hot captain? You need to come out here. I, oh my God, imagine I should, I really shouldn't.

Trist, do you think, oh my God, I actually, I really shouldn't. Trist, do you think? Oh my God, what if I hooked up with a captain? That would be, oh my God, that would be so funny, though, so. I pretended I didn't hear. I caught, be offensive, stare. My God, he's so offensive. I climb onto hard one's shoulders

and then I cover his eyes like a horse blinder. And I just start whispering math facts into his ear So the Pythagorean theorem Everly I needed to change the song on the speaking stone Something sexy Boat boat boat you're in a boat Everybody knows to sing an original Go blow it

Does he have like a weird little friend just singing a bird song? God damn it though. I would honestly still hook up with him. Captain Guy, what's your name? Everlands working to sing the boat song? Bring your goat to the boat. Let's all go inside a boat. Inside a boat.

Inside a boat. He's singing the Bootsack lucha going in inside check? 19 19 you see the the dryads are like cringing as they go oh my god that's so cool of you You just have to bow really keep it up with the duet Drink some water with my throat now we're hanging out on a boat. On a boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat You guys ignore the Dryad's cat calling you. You really enjoying it. Are you cool with losing Azerak? It seems like that problem kind of solved itself.

Yeah, that's what I figured I would let him make that decision. And I knew he was gonna try and kill us the second 24. I was just, it's very noble of you. And he didn't really come into play because I thought maybe we'd need some help actions, but we did it. So, as you guys for riding down this river. In our hearts of minds forever.

That's a guy. That's the shortest NPC we've ever had. You guys head on over to store.nadpod.com for the Azraq here. Azraq got the ending he deserves Yeah, you see he's just instantly consumed with a lust for fruit for fruit lust fruit lust. Yeah Um guy loves fruit. That's the one thing I know about him Sweet um, so this is a suspiciously picturesque day. Yeah, I know, I don't trust this look of this. It is the most beautiful day you've ever experienced, really. And you know it was designed to fuck with you.

And yet you can't help but look out and admire it. Well, you know, shame and look and write. Yeah, we can still enjoy the sun sun even if we don't trust it. Exactly. That's a really good call. Is it just me or does that apple look hot? Like it's like an apple that's like sexy. I think, honestly, I think based on the rules,

you could fuck it. Yeah. Just don't eat it. We're all out to fuck the fruit. We can fuck the fruit. We just can't eat it. We can't fuck the fruit. We just can't. We can't consume the fruit, but it can consume you. Yeah, one of the stators yells out,

you're allowed to fuck the fruit. That is like, seriously. That guy actually. Seriously flipping the pages of his book, looking for fuckable fruits. That really has been in the captain's cabin for four hours. I guess we'll be under tricks and traps maybe? I don't know.

There's no fruit section. Beverly's speaking stone is just a bunch of searching for how to 69 fruit. Best fruit to 69. So I'm gonna be in pie. Hard one. As you're manning the helm here, as you're driving the boat, you suddenly feel drawn to something. This is something you feel before you even see.

Under the clear water, up just ahead, is your original body in all of its glory. Perhaps it was transported here when Malora gave you a new one. You don't really know what happened to it, but it is here quads and all looking beefy. And if you guys continue down this river and this, on this path, you might crush it with your wheels. Munchine, you look off the boat with your wheels. Munchine.

You look off the boat, and you see a cozy hut, a hearth burning inside. There's a little steam coming out, outside sitting on a perch, is a cute little black dragon hatchling. One you've seen before. Mishka Beverly pop out of the second.

What? Is that shade inside? Is she doing hot yoga? He's a trick. The trick, I know it's a trick. Beverly, as you look out at the landscape, it's beautiful, it's gorgeous. You catch sight of Balnor hanging over the side, hanging over the railing.

You see he is oggling, some weird mermaid, like a siren just like fall, like it's just like entranced by her. And you stare at him for a while, full of Balnor. You think about seeing Scoutmaster Denny at your house, you think about how Boundor was kind of weird around your mom. What was his deal? Right? So you're trying to get with your mom? I mean, he acts like your dad.

They're friends. He acts like your dad. They're just adult friends. Is he trying to replace your dad? What? He's kind of a weirdo if you think about it. Like, your dad is here in hell trying to save you. Right, and he's here acting like your dad.

That's like, your dad's never gonna come home if Balnor's here, if Balnor's trying to move in on Martha Togo. He knows his place. He knows his place in the order. You see Balnor is looking over the side of the boat, kind of leaning over there. Wouldn't be that hard to push him off.

Not that you would want to. I mean, it is something that would happen to Balnor, though, he would just fall off a boat looking at a mermaid, kind of classic Balnor. No one would think twice. I put my hand over his back, but it's only so that I can lift up his pant so that it don't see his ass crack anymore. And then I pat him really hard.

You see there, buddy? Oh, all right. There's just, did you see that hot mermaids? It's just, I feel like she's looking right at me. Everybody go ahead and give me wisdom saving throws. Is this for being charmed? Yes, Moonshine, you get advantage. Ooh.

I am going to use my thing called Indomitable, where I get to reroll a saving throw. Okay. I got a 28. 16. 18. Okay, Bev, you have this bi-grie anger at him for like a split second where you're like you're

pretending to be my dad, my dad's never gonna come home if you're here. You go to reach out. And he does something stupid. He lets out like a loud dad sneeze. No! As he sneezes and I say, you're not mad at. What? Yeah, I know, man. Hey, what?

It's okay. What? Did you hear that? There's a pretty lot sneeze. Moonshine. You look out onto this hot. See the steam coming out of it. You imagine.

I know it's steaming in there because she's got to get it to 88 degrees to get that hot lotty's going on. But moonshine you know that that would be too good to be true. Yeah, even if I went in there she probably wouldn't like me. Brutal. But hard one. No. You have an opportunity to save your body. Your body is going to be crushed. Your true body. Uh, Bev, take the wheel a second.

Oh, is this another driving lesson? Uh, sort of. You just keep the ship straight and true, but a little to the left, because I got to pick up my body right over here. Okay. On we float and our boat boat boat. I don't think you should go.

Hard one, hard one. No one's going in the water, okay? I'm not going to go in the water. I just need to lean out pretty far to grab my old body. All right, I grab him by the arm if he's gonna lean out. Guys, go ahead and do a grapple check. Moonshine is trying to stop you from getting your body. This is your one chance to get it back, hard one.

Move, moonshine. I- 16. 24. There you go. Hard one. You start tussling with moon shine and You push her over the edge

Wait, did you think that moonshine wasn't your dad what's going on? I thought you talked about I'm getting my goddamn body. I dive in after moonshine Balmour take the wheel What is going on moonshine and hard one fall into the water? No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! just this crystalline lake like to you there's no danger it's like you're fucking your body's just there right so you're jumping in after it and then as soon as you hit the water you forget why you were there you are victim to the feeble mind spell your intelligence and charisma are no one. You guys are shells of your former selves. And Bev, you go to like reach the rope out and you guys look out and you're just like, Beverly friend and you know he's trying to help you.

Yes, climb the rope. Guys, what are we gonna do? Get in the boat. Get in the boat. What's a boat? It's this, remember the song? If you think about ropes, kind of just a bunch of little ropes made in one big rope Now that's hilarious

It's the very funny observation write it down write it down for later, but please climb up this rope might as well call it strings Don't think we should still read it down regardless Yeah, we can workshop it with you in the boat. That's really funny guys, begin the boat. God damn it. I started to eat the rope. No, I started to eat the boat. Don't eat the boat. Boundor and Beverly, thank you guys up into the boat.

Bev, you look in their eyes just these vankin' stairs. They kind of look and are acting like the shells in Grimhawk. Oh no. Oh, no. Here, just sip on this. I bring them both. I bring them a plate of water to sip on. Soup on a plate.

Can I do an insight to see if like there's anything I can do to reverse this? Yeah. Do you have any soup that's less spicy? That's water. Can I have less spicy? That's water. Can I have her plate? That's only an eight. An eight. Okay.

You would need to take a bit and search your book. But in the meantime, you suddenly see on the shore where moonshine had seen the dragon wormling on the perch. You see the wormling extends its wings and then its body transforms into a beautiful devil. The black wings remain, but her skin is red. She's got long, shiny black hair of a lupshwa figure with piercing yellow eyes. She wears a black corset with leather leggings and boots. She crosses her legs and you see this devil goes, welcome to lust, everyone. I'm so pleasure to have you here. Okay. I am the arch devil fear and I rule this layer.

Now I'm not like the savages up above. I run things a little bit differently. I don't make anyone do anything. Everyone is free to do as they please. I just happen to be really good at pleasing people and hard one in moonshine. You guys are just like drooling. Yeah.

Me hard one. Me was in water, now me on boat. That's right, bud. I'm sorry, I should be seeing the plate or the soup. I forget. Oh my gosh, just get that out of your mouth. Get those, I'm like picking like shards of plate on moonshine's mouth.

I crunched it. You did, you did a very good crunch. Fix my friends, what are you doing? I actually, I can fix your friends. I'm so glad you brought that up because I was about to, but it is gonna cost you. I'm so sorry to say that. Yeah, there's always a cost, huh?

Yeah, it's kinda how hell works. So listen, you guys being from the material plane you actually have a lot to offer down here. You know those soul coins that you were competing for up there? Those are the souls of the damned. Those coins are like copper but, a bunch of mortals coming down here on your own accord. Your souls are like gold. You got money to play around with, as long as you know how to make change. You see, she does a little come hither motion to you, and a soul coin emerges from your chest,

this big saucer like gold coin, meeting a red glow. Don't drink out of that. I'm eating it. Moonshine starts to bite it. My teeth hurt. You see it? It's on for me.

It hurts when you bite it out. She clenches her fist and it explodes into a hundred smaller coins. You quickly just have to pick them up, like, but they are kind of drawn to you. So now you have this big pile of coins. She goes, now, as long as you have one of these coins, a shred of your soul is still intact. With that being said, it is a lot of effort for me to heal people. So I'll say, you need me to save two people. How about two for the price of one?

We'll say a hundred coins, and I'll heal both of your friends. That's just half of you and your, what is that your dad here? Is that your dad? He's kind of my dad but he's not my dad. He's complicated. But I love him like a dad and you won't go anywhere near him. How many coins do I have? You look down, you have 100 coins. That is the entirety of your soul coin. And the way she just explained it is basically your soul is worth more as a mortal here.

So you have a hundred of the type of coins Josh had. I'm gonna try and just planking right now. Oh, hard one is towering. I don't want you to fly down here and help me count these. Go ahead and give me a deception check. Deception is gonna be 14. 14. You see she goes, you know the conversion rate of copper to gold.

I'm sure you could guess. It's about, you got a hundred coins there son. I'm sorry, I'm just not familiar with the symbols. Right, right. It's a little hard to read, the translate, but I'm getting the hang of it. Well sure, yeah, let me, let me bag these up for you. Are you sure you don't want to come down and count them yourself? We're a pretty tricky bunch. If I come down, you'll give me all 100 of those soul coins.

If you come down here, the coins are yours. I have to burp, but I can't burp. I'm a stomach hurts a lot. You needp. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. You need to fart. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I whack him on the back. Oh, oh, oh. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot.

I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot.

I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I'm gonna stop it hurts a lot. I hard one and then burp again. We do it. I had a new chance. Hi, burps. Don't bear. You see, she flies down. I shout the bell, nor... Put these in the bag, and I hand in the coins.

They coins appear in her hand as soon as she comes to you. Oh. I cast banishment on her. You belong to me now, boy. What? You gave me your coins. You could have... I said that if you came down here, there were yours.

And they are mine. Okay. Your mine. Let's go now, son. Papa? Me? Me? I thought I had something going here. I thought we're gonna cook this. Ballonore goes, oh wait, okay, okay, okay relax, right?

You said you just wanted the coins, so if he's got a hundred, then I've got a hundred. What do you say? Both me and Bev give up 75 and you have 150 and you don't fully take Bev. I'm gonna go ahead and make a persuasion check for Balnor. I bundle fat It's a natural 19 for Balnor. Oh, thank you. Thank you daddy And she goes okay. I suppose I could be convinced that's more coins from me overall and

Coins down here have a way of finding their way into my coffer anyway. I have a feeling you all end up working for me regardless of how this pans out. I'm a bit of a scrub. You made one. Yes, you are, honey. Don't touch her. I want my head to be packed.

You're all fair. I bet that hard one's head and then burp. Not by you. You see, she goes, but I need to promise with my safety before I make this deal. You both give me 75 of your soul coins, leaving behind 25% of your own mortal souls. I'll heal your friends, but I get out of here safe. I like it, Belnor. This doesn't end well for us. Do we have a choice? I think it's either you go to work for her permanently here. I think she's got us.

for her permanently here. I think she's got us. I need you to heal them first. I need to see that they're fine before you get any of her coins. If you can't guarantee my safety, then I think you'll just have to come with me. She reaches her hand out, she commands you to come forward, you instinctively walk forward. Nhanor will be fine. Uh, you're our dad, you have to watch out for them. I don't think you should go with her, Bev. I think we should heal them up and just both of us can give up a part of ourselves. None of us have to give ourselves over completely. Give up a part of ourselves. None of us have to give ourselves over completely. You heard the man. There's a reason he's the dad. You see she goes over, waves her hand in front of hard one, hard one. You snap back to your normal intelligence.

I burp really long enough. Beverly cries and up, beautiful it is. to your normal intelligence. I burp really long Hark at the same time. That's epic. You see she holds her hand out. 75 of Beverly's coins are grabbed. 75 of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Outers coins, okay. Cause she now are so big.

Our take in, the hot devil's taking your cash, bud. She winks at you, and she disappears. Hard one and moonshine. You guys come back. You don't remember what happened. You remember wrestling with each other, and then blank. You see Balnor and Beverly become extremely devilish.

You see they have little impoings now, and like long devil horns Everyone take off the sailor suits. They're corrupt. They're turning us into amps. What's going on? What do you mean? I look in the poor hole window to see myself. Oh Little devil I remember sailor costume office. I assume it's this happening to me too. Oh god, what have we done? Moontown you're you're good what you're good. There's There's nothing growing out of

Your back. Oh This is sad the sailor suits some mushrooms, I guess, but you fell in the you fell in the water and it made you really dumb like irreparably dumb if you didn't any d you would have been in cuz I'm working on it, you know, no, no, no I'm from an oral culture. You couldn't read anything words social cues The difference between you know plates and food. It was real bad. You would have killed yourself I didn't know the difference between play and food. I know, Hey, Mojang, that's pretty embarrassing for you. Oh, man. Hard one, you didn't know how to burp.

You take that back and devilish son of a bitch. I'm sorry, I just feel so impish. I pinch him. Hey. I'm sorry. Yeah, cut him. Cut him, bad fellow. Bell, chill out.

What's going on? What a devilishish? What? What did we miss? What did we miss? We uh kind of sold I sold 75% of our souls It's the only way to save you You did it for us

Why else do we do it? I mean... Did you at least end your day in other options? I tried to do a cool pop-up on trick and it just really bad-fired. We got tricked. I thought that I could like, you know, stab her a couple of times, do a couple of divine smites when she flew down, but then she just had the coins. Ah, that's the sound. That sounds like a good plan. It was the start of one, but I was useless without you.

Um, well, maybe we can still beat the shit out of her and take the coins back. I don't understand. It's like I've been drinking dummy water this whole time. I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry you guys. No. I start eating a pepper. Yeah, put it on a plate. Okay. So you guys all, so Balnor and Bev now have 25 soul coins and you guys each have a hundred.

Essentially, your big mortal soul coin has been broken into, you know, your one piece of gold has been broken into a hundred pieces of copper. Okay, I got an unconventional thought, but I feel like I got to throw it out there. Do we want a team, We're a team, right? Yeah. Do we want a team of two people working at 100 and two people working at 25 or do we maybe want a team of,

do we want to distribute them evenly? I don't think so. I'll put all the soul coins in the bag. Yeah, and then redistribute them. Okay. Do you guys think that, I mean, I just, I'm wondering if that's going to make our lives a little more navigable. Would I be able to look in the book

to see if being a devil makes you more perceptible to, I guess, being controlled and charmed and whatnot? So, Bev, you guys take a couple of hours, Bev, you look through your book. You do see that you and Balnor being at 25% are going to be more susceptible to being charmed. You're going to be more susceptible to giving in to like violent urges, to giving into your dark sides, and that much like stem cells or something like that. If you at least have like one part of yourself

and you have other soul coins, you can kind of rebuild. So you don't need your 75 back. You are still yourself. You just need 75 from somewhere. From somewhere. So if you guys split them up, it is not a bad plan. Oh, so we could split them up.

And then I don't entirely know how we'll encounter. Do we want to keep someone at a hundred like a designated driver? A designated anti-devil? Yeah. It seems like a good idea. I just worry that like if we're all susceptible then something bad could really happen, but.

Yeah, that's why I'm wondering if we need a designated handle. I think you should be the designated soul one I Can't agree I have no you have no spells and I have all the heels. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so you guys have 250 soul coins to Distribute between between the four of you then you have a hundred and fifty so then everybody else is at 50% Between the four of you then you have a hundred and fifty so then everybody else is at fifty percent Bev and Balenoirs in plings go away Hard one

Balnor and Bev all have big devil horns Now I just feel looked out I'm flashing some for myself It doesn't seem like morning in hell Not so rough not so rough guys Horn it doesn't see me warning in hell All around Okay, not so rough not so rough guys my horns are locked with Get the fuck away from me Keep a belt on that I love it it. Now there's a drop housing now. Can I? Yeah, now all of your guys wrestling matches

get violent very quickly. Y'all are going to be like Mario, just going around collecting coins and getting stronger. Yep, and then just, and then you then we'll have all our coins again, and everything will be fine. And then there's, and then yeah, then I don't have to worry about messing up again because you'll be here and that'll be fine, it'll be great.

And I won't have to worry about, you know, leading the way or anything. So yeah, let's do that, that seems good. Hey, don't be too hard on yourself kid. Me and Moonshine jumped in the fucking river. Yeah. Uh, do I have any recollection how it happened? Or do I think I jumped in the river you remember Wrestling with him and that what that's why you fell in yeah, thank me that might have been your I'm sure it was for a noble reason

I'm just saying we're all stupid I'll drink the dummy juice Okay, I want to know can I feel my coins tugging at me from where they are? No, okay. They've been cut off from me. But we do wanna find and kill that devil. Yeah, Fierna. Yeah.

Can we see what's on either side of the river? This area is just all trees and dry ads and saters and it seems Very picturesque Where's like the main drag? The you know, where's it? Where's like the town center? I would like are you looking for like the honey trap casino? I would like to cast enhanceability on Hard one and Beverly and give them Owls wisdom.

Okay, ooh, which I don't know what that does. I'll just play smart from that one. But I think that's I think it's gonna give them advantage on wisdom saving throws or is it just wisdom checks? I would allow it to be on saving throws. Okay, then I'm going to cast it at a fourth level so I can do it on Boundor, hard one, and Beverly. I'll allow that to affect saving throws as well. I don't see why I wouldn't.

Okay. I suddenly know what the best part of a bowl is. It's every part. I know where Honeytrap Casino is now. My lady. Yeah, it's pretty easy to find. You just go down the river. It's every part. I know where honey trap casino is now my lady Yeah, it's pretty easy to find you just go down the river straight down the river get you go down Tott off for now. Hmm. We're insufferable. Oh, you're really smart. You want to like Get out in time and tell my god it would be crazy if I hope I'm kind of a

I'm kind of a sapio-sexual. Okay, I think that hurts saying that just made me lose my concentration. And now in this battle, I'm just gonna. What's up, then? Tell you what, let's, why don't we have a date? We'll meet you over by those trees. You start eating, start tasting out the fruit for us. We're gonna head to... Forot for soot. We can order at a later time. Yeah, cool. See you guys over there I'll see you guys over by the tree. Sounds great. Yeah Over by the tree hardwanges, you know like with the way you're talking right now has nothing to do with my spell Really? I think you're just putting on a show for the trip. I just know all these words

Yeah, you could have been talking like this all the time. Fuck me! What's going on? Um, okay, so I guess we should go to this casino. Wait a second, if it's our freaking casino, then we can... Then that's the perfect place to pick up a bunch of coins. Yeah. Uh, fucking yeah, it is.

Yeah, then do it, I believe. Yeah, let's go to the casino. Bev, with the depressed air, puts on a tuxedo. Hahaha. Looks really good, man. Thanks. With the horns, I feel like it's just like a low level cosplay. It's fun.

Hahaha. So you guys continue down the river, get your boat started again. And as the sun sets on a beautiful day, becomes night, twinkling stars hang in the air, and eventually your eye is drawn to something, a floating building amongst the natural landscape. It looks like a floating beehive, but it appears to be made of black marble with glowing windows like hexagonal honeycombs that look neon purples and blues and yellows. You can see a lot of movement inside.

The building looks heavily populated and there's a sign outside that reads honey trap casino. And as you guys get closer, you see that the building is not actually floating but it does look like it is held up here by some kind of magic, because it's a thick hive at the top and is connected to a tunnel. The river flows right into the casino. Well, great.

There we go. Yeah, I guess since enhanceability is only an hour right before we enter the casino, I do another enhanceability on all three right before we enter the casino, I do another enhance ability on all three of them. Great. Remember guys act like we've been here before. Cardo rule. Don't fill up on free drinks. So you guys enter the tunnel beneath the casino and see that it's almost like a tunnel of love.

There are all of these neon hearts as you enter the cave, but your boat stops as you hit a cage that prevents you from moving. You see that the river flows into the abyss beyond it, and then an imp servant and a little red and black suits comes up to your boat. All right, I'll take that for you. You guys going up to the casino? Yeah, sir. Yeah. Just a few devils in a, whoo, a mortal. What's up? Yeah, not guess the other guy. Big roller, you got a lot of coins with you, huh? Yeah, I got a lot of coins, yeah.

Yep, we're just nasty little devils. We're here to just, you know, toss away our hard earned coins. That's why they brought me, I'm kind of like a purse. Yep, you know. That's right, treat this boat real nice, okay, give it a wide berth. All right. Can I just real quick, I actually want to do a

fifth level on hand stability, so I give myself owls wisdom. Okay, great. So this amp takes your boat and brings it out, you see another tunnel opens up and begins pulling your boat out through there. Another imp attendant leads you guys to a staircase. You follow these neon lights through a staircase and you enter the casino floor. You see there is a haze of smoke as devilish

patrons imbibe in various illicit substances. A devilish bar to place a hypnotic tune while a belly dancer with snakes in her hair, rives, and riggles. A bartender slings of various frothy cocktails of bright colors while incubi and succubi saunter with trays of drinks to private booths as well as gaming tables. There's also a table of beautiful, rich looking devils doing lines

of a molten orange dust. Hard one this looks like some really fast arcane. Of course I'm the frickin' D, D, this sucks. Guys I'm gonna take a lap, see what I could scope out. No you're not, if I'm not doing drugs no I was doing fucking drugs. I was not doing drugs, I was just gonna get drugs. I don't think I can get them and then I'll hang on to them. We'll do them later. It's more safe time Thank you. That's a good plan

So my dad is on the six level and I know we're having a lot of setbacks, but I Think we just got a raw discocino blind Talking iced I'm talking iced. Okay. Let's find a table sit down and let's start planning Operation Brad dad. I mean Brad Brad lad as in Brad Pitt from ocean 11 Brad lad That was a goddamn reach I love it. So you guys do see as far as the other patrons, you see a mix of high rolling devil types, these very in control sexy devils.

But then some other kind of strong out looking people who are chasing a high, you see a bunch of burly red devils in black leather carrying a cimitar's at their sides. These look to be the security and there is a lot of it. You see them occasionally talking to these more menacing pit boss looking guys, pit fiend of bosses. And above you, you look up and you see the hexagonal windows of the various private rooms in which sexy devils are doing various inviting dances.

And then finally, a host incubus approaches you. He's this beautiful shirtless devil in a leather choker with goat legs. And he goes, oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. Oh, what can I do to serve you? Oh, great. Hi. Yeah, I think we all have a couple requests.

I saw some people doing molten arcane that looks pretty choice. Yeah, that's called characane. The first hit is free. Do you want some? Um, fellas, Mooshine? No, I'm so sorry. Yeah, no, I think we're gonna make it. Yeah, we have a wedding this weekend. We thought we might pick some up for that. Okay, yeah, I love doing char-cane head-witting sounds in town. That makes sense. Well, guys, we have a casino floor here, just full of games.

We're different than a typical casino in that we prefer games of skill. Honestly, it's kind of more like a carnival. It's so fun. Hi, could you just please stop pumping that slot machine? Yeah, I kind of can't. Okay, I'm sorry. That's what you need to do.

Who could you try, though? Cause I feel like you're not even trying. I, I kind of can. Okay. I'm sorry. That's what you need to do. Could you try though? I feel like you're not even trying. I'm not trying at all. Just give in. Just give in to it. You guys see on this casino floor, you see a crowd gathered around cheering, looking at a glass bubble as four jockeys on nightmares.

These black horses with fiery mains are raced through an obstacle course. One of the nightmares wins and a court of the crowd starts celebrating and the others throw their tickets down angrily. You see the dealer where I guess like the station manager is this gaunt devil in a red cloak. Flix is wrist and there's a puff of white smoke when it clears. The jockeys are normal sized and out of the little bubble it It looks like he was reducing their size. So they can compete in this little racetrack. You see there's a similar station nearby with people shrunk down to do battle in a gladiator pit.

You see there's a station with a rogish looking devil with a twisty mustache, twirling daggers, and tossing them in a target with expert precision. You see a devilish hagg sitting at a table, shuffling a deck of cards, a sign near her reads draw from the deck of many things. One pull went up to 100 soul coins. There's also a table of devils playing some kind of card game.

There's a nervous-looking imp, a nematode in sunglasses, and a bookish giant devil with tiny glasses, and they're playing for a lot of soul coins. You also see a glowing sign with an arrow pointing at an elevator with a steel gate. It reads, cash out 100 soul coins per person. Next to the elevator is a huge pit fiend with his arms crossed. Now, you guys know that to have 100% of your soul intact, you need 100 coins. So you need to get an additional 100 on top of that.

They got a double art coins. Double art often. Excuse me, you seem to be knowledgeable about the workings of the casino. Oh, yeah. What was your name again? I didn't catch it. My name is Monet. You are truly a work of art.

Yeah, Monet, we are distinguished guests. As you can see, we're devils of some taste. And we have quite a sizeable purse here. Where do the high rollers play? He gestures over to the card table with the nematode and the like bookish giant devil and the imp. That game is called Devil's Hand and you can pretty much bet as much as you want. It's a real high rollers table.

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And just because we want to avoid it, but where's like the cheap slots, the easy wins? It's kind of not really that kind of casino. What's the best odds for a bunch of chumps, not like us? Just people that if someone were to say fall in the sticks and slurp down a bunch of dummy juice, where would those people play? I guess you could try to throw the dagger against that guy and points to the dude who's throwing the dagger

You see this swash buckling looking devil guy with a mustache a white billowy shirt with big red pecs under it Just starts popping his pecs and wings at you guys I pop my pecs a little bit. I'll go ahead and give me a charisma check I rolled a nap one You strain a peck and you can't pop it. But as he continues to pop his packs, it's gotta be like, it's soul coins. It's gonna get the,

it's gonna get the, it's gonna get the scream. It starts screaming up your chest. So who wanted to? I'm voting like one day. Is it because you own an at that you-day? Yeah. Yeah.

Clever. Kind of sounds like Ren. Except it's moaning bleeds. So we can also go into these small arenas, right? We could race on horseback. Yeah, could we go in again? Basically it's up to you. There's usually house imps that you can compete against

or if you compete against somebody else and you can just bet, the house will take a little bit of the purse. Ugh. I just feel like you're so close. Yeah, I'm on the edge. You're always on the edge here and the rest. Yeah, I'm on the edge here and the rest.

We just have like an easier more coherent conversation. Yeah, we go to the bathroom. Everyone's kind of like that down here. Okay, okay. Head down. You guys do see up, everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Or you can do inside as well.

I got a NAT 20. NAT 20? I got a NAT 1. Look at that. I got a 16. I am a DD. You guys do see up on the higher levels, there are these sucky by and incuby

that are doing kind of the cum hither motion. And moonshine, you see a dude with a big bag spilling with soul coins, following, and incubus into one of the rooms, with a nat 20, it seems like a fucking trap. It seems like they're trying to lure people up there for several levels of trap. It's like not only are they trying to just like get

the dumb people who are just gonna go up there and try to have sex with these people? They're also trying to get people who want to rob people. Oh, so they're trying to lure us. It looks like that. Yeah, within that 20, you kind of get a readout. So I know, not a trap. It smells like a trap. Who the fuck would just have a bag of spilling soul coins? Yeah, okay. That's honestly foamy ones, right? Don't foamy again. It looks like a honey trap. it's probably a honey trap.

Yeah, yeah. From my experience with Inkubin, so you buy, we shouldn't go up there. Let's all maybe grab a table and plot our moves. That's in good. Okay, so you guys find, you guys see a table of devils gets up and you guys find a clear table. Is there any charcane residue,

just a little orange thing that I could put on my gums just to see how it feels? Go ahead and do a perception check. Can I wanna dispatch handy Andy to slap all the charcane out of his hand? 14. 14, you look around to see if there's any charcane residue and handy Andy is wiping down the people.

She's just dabbing me up, I love it. Hard one, I promise as soon as you're at 100 soul coins, we'll do some charcane. Okay. Okay, it's just that you are not in the place to do it. And sometimes a friend has to tell you that. You see this waitress slithers over to you guys She's got snakes in her hair. She comes up to you guys and she goes

Sir anything I can get you. Oh never mind. Hi, could I have a sprite? Shaken not stirred a Sprite We have much more Interesting Drink and just spray. So like a Shirley Temple? You also have Shirley Dimples and Roy Rogers.

I'll have one of each, but we have drinks that can offer boons or beans. A gamble if you will, even in your drinks. I take my crick water flask. I think I'm good. I have everything I need right here. You actually can't bring it outside drinks. Really?

Yeah. Well, I just shook an empty flask at you and my lot's having empty flask. Let me look at that matured sump tea. Oh, Christ, I'm gonna have to pour this out. It's water. It takes the water for you. We brought it in a plastic bag.

Y'all saw it, my God. You should have got to do security. I know this place was chill. We're not chill. I sniff the carpet. We're actually pretty lawful. Yeah. Okay, so do you want anything or no?

I guess like this. Cause this is for paying customers. I'm the DD. Okay. So I think that legally you are required to respect that as much as I would love to be your wearer. I do respect that, but there's kind of like a two-drain minimum for the rest of you.

Oh, again, I got the Roy Rogers and the Shirley Temple. Right, okay. So here's the thing. I see that. Pop, pop, we'll get to you. We'll get to you. I mean, lots of animals in here who here to be on showing you shit that's forbidden I guess you guys can have an animal in here so check it out right so

If you guys want to I see that at least one of you as a full mortal if you want to pay with gold things are gonna be pretty Expensive because we do use gold down here But it's more to, you know, lorraine humans, so it's gonna be like 50 gold per drink if you want to use gold. That's fine. Okay, that's fine with it. You are gonna be taking it away from public works and needy villages. That's actually actually don't believe in those things. Okay, go pull tracks, checks out. Yeah, it's right, it's Friday night. Let's not talk politics. Right, yeah.

Moonshan, we can close this later. Okay. I see she slithers away. Yeah. She slithers away. She comes back with drinks for you guys. She collects 200 gold from you to get four drinks. And you see they are these black frothy liquid.

Can I? Ah, Bev, look up black frothy liquid in your book. Okay, I'll check out the drinks section. It was actually a whole cocktail list in your store. I hate being a d-d-yah. Sweet, Bev, you look through. I'll call Pottax, one of my drinks. You look through your devil book and you see that this drink has a 50% chance of turning your next

Nat one into a Nat 20 and a 50% chance of turning your next Nat 20 into a Nat one Bottoms up kids while in hell Oh my oh my all right. I feel like I got a drink Oh my, oh, Malore, I feel like I got a drink. Just one. Why? This is two fun. This is two fun. Good luck.

Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck.

Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck.

Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Oh, I don't know, I really shouldn't. I really shouldn't temptation. That's literally the sin of this menu. I won't, but I hold on for it. Wait a minute. Why don't we just put it in the flask? You went to the flask. Oh, sweet.

I put it in the flask. You put moonshine strength in your flask. Balnor is gonna take a drink. I mean, you guys are devil, so you'll need to do like wisdom saving throw sin at this. They do have the advantage on wisdom saving throw. No, no you'll need to do like wisdom saving throws. Not do this. They do have advantage on wisdom saving throw. No, no, no, sorry. Wisdom saving throws to like resisted.

And as far as it's doing, it's pure lock 11 through 20 is next, and that one turns into a 20. Bound organ in 19. So Bound organ is a good one. Oh, I got a 15. I got a seven. Oh, hard one.

Your next, and that 20 is a nat one That's fine, I can't wait as soon as I'm not the DD. I'm a fucking chug this thing. If your next nat one is a nat 20 woo-woo Thank you, I might drink another one You can buy another one. Yeah, no Handy any slaps it out of your hand I'm supposed to be the responsible woman. You're doing good.

Moonshine, I'm a cautionary tale. Don't do it. Moonshine, it ain't worth it Moonshine. You fail one drink and you're a soul and bastard. So you guys see, Papa does it. Papa does it? Yeah, I probably.

Okay, go ahead and roll for pop-up He also got a seven oh No, pop-up's next Chris You know what is waiting together I'm gonna do lots of checks to try and get that to try and get that 20 out Pop on hard one look hungover already That's fun. Okay. Pop on hard one, look hung over already.

Free. Okay, okay, we've had some drinks, some of us. Let's just... Let's survey. What do we think is the move here? I know that we talked about doing a little ocean's a little heist business. Maybe perhaps a little Beverly several.

If you will. Yeah, Beverly several. I want to kind of turn my gaze to the cash out area. Okay, see if I can like watch somebody come in and come out and see what happens on there. Sure, go ahead and do like a perception check. Papa's also going to do a perception check. Who is?

Thank you. I got a nine. You guys have it. I'm sorry. Okay, non-stop seven. You see that there got a nine. You guys have it. I'm sorry. Okay. None stop seven. You see that there is a lot of security here. You see one of these dealers, one of these station managers is flanked by a couple of guards

and brings a little box to an area behind the lounge. Bring the box from that area to the lounge. Bring the box from one of the gaming tables. Oh, okay. Ah, okay, so it seems like that's where they're storing all the coins that the house gets perhaps. Yeah, behind that cash out. Yeah, I think so.

I don't think that we could steal it while it was up and operating. No, should we try to hide in a box and get delivered into the cash out room? Well, there are wizards reducing people. Maybe we should all just play a game to get a sense of the casino and and the movers and shakers here. Yeah, I think that's a good call. Okay. I want to play a game and I want to I want to keep an eye out for like whoever owns this place. You walk around you do see that there are a lot of coins being pushed at this card game.

And you do see that there are a lot of like cigar, smoke and big timers at the nightmare racing ring. And you see sort of the lower stakes one would be like the dagger throwing. I do like that dagger guy. I mean, why not? Why not, right? I'm just trying to get through. Yeah.

You gotta break the seal. Okay, I walk over to the dagger guy. Haha, dagger toss, dagger toss. Who thinks they're more accurate than me? Manuel the Devel. Oh, Manuel, I thought that you threw the daggers at me. No, we both throw daggers and whoever misses the bullseye first loses.

Seems more fun to just throw the daggers at me, I bet you like me to just throw you a dagger at you? Yeah, I bet if you miss me, let's say that's like 25 coins if you miss. You want me to throw a dagger at you. And if I miss, I get 25 coins. Okay. I get 25 coins. Okay. I smile very confidently in Manuel, and then like very quickly dart my head back to Moon China in hard one.

It's just a tell my dear. Manuel goes, this isn't how the game works, but okay. Go ahead and stand by the bullseye, I guess, so we don't hit any of the other guests. Sounds good. I'm in here. What is your AC? I guess we don't hit any of the other guests. Sounds good. What is your ACF effort? If I, while I'm walking over there,

if I try to cast a spell on him, that's gonna throw some alarms. Yeah, certainly. Okay, cool, just double checking. Okay, my AC is 21. Okay, go ahead and roll initiative. You could take a defensive stance if you're beating. Am I going to need to do a save with this? No, he's just gonna try to hit you with a dagger.

He's gonna try and hit you with it. Throw a fucking dagger, let's do it up. But the defensive stance will help. Cause he got a mass funny on his initiative. Oh no, I got an 18. Okay. Uh, so Beverly, you go and you stand in front of the bullseye. I'm gonna, he has a plus 12 day with the dagger.

What is it? 21 is your AC? 21 is my AC. Okay, he needs to get a nine or higher. I'm gonna roll in front of a hard one over here. You see Manuel flicks the dagger, tosses it at Beverly. No. That's the dagger. Tosses it at Beverly. No. That's a three. Beverly, you fucking dodged out of the way at the last second.

And the knife goes right into the bullseye and he goes, I'm too used to throwing it at the bullseye. That shouldn't have worked for you. You should have aimed for the boys eye. I should have aimed for the boys. I should have aimed for the boys I'm very clever. I'm very happy to be giving 25 coins to you. What's your doing business with you? I'm hands 25 soul coins. You Beverly you're up to you're up to 75 I can't say I was on board with that

I gotta be honest. I should have bit you in the ass Okay, interesting game I should have bit you in the ass. Okay, interesting game. Just to reiterate, I don't think that's how it's supposed to be played. Yeah. Absolutely not. I don't think so. I'm saying that just figured that would favor the house.

Maybe your horns are going down a little bit. Oh, look at that. I've been applying my acutane. Should we just lean into this? Oh my god. Not this actual plan. Just grind on Manwell. Really try.

Me guys just grind the dag and I will literally cancel the contest. Double or nothing, but you missed the kid again. Manwell! I wouldn't take that deal. You have a family, man well. Okay, okay. Very nice work, man. Well, we enjoyed our time here.

We are going to inspect some other stations. Your pecs aren't that big. See you guys. Did we go to one of the shrinking stations? Yeah. To kind of get them mechanics. I want to see what the deals with that horse station you guys know I'm friend of the animals Yeah, I think I'm with our horse

I yeah, I nod but shake my head no How hey? Well, we're watching this race game. Can anyone be in the race or are these you know? Yeah, you walk up you see that there's a a bubble it almost looks like you're looking at like a little moving you walk up you see that there's a bubble it almost looks like you're looking at like a little moving diorama or something and a game wraps up you see the station master this wizard this wizard kind of slash dealer waves his hands there's a puff of smoke and the imps come back you see one of the jockeys is celebrating with one of the guys that

Bet on him it looks like it's some kind of manager or something And you see the station manager looks at you and goes yes anyone is welcome to play Can I wild shape into a nightmare? If you want to just run yourself sure. Yeah, can I ride Moonshine? Yeah You brought your own horse Who does it use our own horse? Yeah, ha

Well moonshine's our moon, but I'll say that Just we noticed that your nightmares are decidedly un-pregnant Alright, this one's extremely pregnant Uh-huh, really aren't supposed to be having horses out in the casino floor You see one of the pit fiends is like giving a look like what how did you let this happen? I'm trying to mount moonshine You see he looks at you and goes if you'd like to enter with your own Nightmare everyone this round is betting 50 soul coins.

That's all. I'm sitting backwards. I'm the sun. You see one of the, you see this devil dude, this big guy with a big cigar goes, huh? Why, you want a bit more? I can do, I can go up to 100. Well, okay, okay.

Quick, while I'll ship back out to Moonshine. Oh. Reports, so no one else here is this. If you bet 50, you will lose your soul. You only have 50. I have 50, but we have this extra 25. So 25 of mine, plus 25 of the new, the new soul coins. I mean, if you're riding Moonshine, then we can't lose.

It's a sure thing. I thought about that for a little too long in my head and I don't like it. But if you're riding moonshine, then I think we've got a shot. I think I do agree that I'm going to be great in this race. Well, it's about a hundred. I don't know if it's my pride, but no, we can't bit more. So what do you say we do in a hundred or? Is your horse not fast enough, looks at hard on. Oh, I'm fast enough. I'm fast enough, and I'm fast enough. I should have never insulted my horse.

All right. The 25 from the pot, and then I guess we can each put in like a collective 75 from the rest of us. Easy. All right, yeah, you guys a little settle it if you lose. So the station wizard throws his hands up, creating a cascade of smoke. When it clears, Bevin Balnor see that moonshine and hard one have disappeared. Moonshine and hard one, you guys are on this hellish race track.

You see lava all around you and ash covered track and various geysers spurting fire. Next to you are three imps riding nightmares. You see a projection of the station master next to the racers who holds up his wand and shoots off the starting signal. Go ahead and roll initiative. There are three imps that are racing you guys.

15. I also got a 15. So that works out. You guys will go on the same initiative. You guys need to have a roll off with the first place imp here because he got the same roll. One of these jackets. They only got an 11 on their second one.

14 on the second one. So the way this race is gonna work is there's gonna be three rounds. You guys are trying to use as much movement as possible while I'm not falling victim to any of the obstacles. If you've used the most movement after three rounds, we will say that you've gotten

to the finish line first. So Moonshan, you are first. You see this first part of the track offers two possible paths. You can either dash through a narrow tunnel or fly over an open pool of lava with bubbles of molten liquid bursting. Nightmares are faster in the air than they are on the ground, but the tunnel looks safer. Which would you like to do? He he. Do I have any kind of knowledge of like,

what kind of saving throws I might do or what kind of like, it's gonna be like that? You would probably assume decks. You have nightmare stats now, so your decks are decks is plus two. I'm gonna go for the fast one. You guys are gonna fly over the lava? Yeah. Go ahead and give me three decks I'm gonna go for the fast one. You guys are gonna fly over the lava? Yeah.

Go ahead and give me three Dex saving throws. Ooh, give me the first one. I'm moon channel doing it. 11. You fail by one, so you lose one d10 of speed. Uh, that is only five feet. Go ahead and give me a second Dex 30 saving throw. Seven.

Seven, ooh, you fail by five, that is five d10s. That is another 12 feet, so minus 17, give me one more dexterity saving throw. You, so you guys are flying over this lava, but there are all these bubbles of lava bursting and hard one, you need to like pull the reins back in moonshine, you said. Careful, baby on board, not take it direct dash.

14. 14 passes. So you get to take a full dash action, your flying speed is 90, so that's 180, and you lose 17 for your failed dex saves. So you're at 163. I pull out my orbit for courting, and I hold it up to the orb to film so that in case they

die I can sue the casino. I do rock and roll hands. You see, one of the pit fiend stands in front of you. Put that away. Oh, there's no filling in here. Not a rules. No, yeah, a lot of rules. That's kind of standard for casino stuff.

You see this next imp is gonna do the same thing and go the way the lava passes two of them, but fails one by five. So he falls behind 24. Oh he is at 156. The next one is gonna do the same thing. Go over the lava. Ooh, he fails. Big time.

Twice. Oh, I'm glad everyone else was rolling as poorly as I was. And he only gets to 110, because he failed so bad. The last guy takes the safe route, goes running, just makes it 120 feet. That is round two. Round two, you guys are in the lead.

As you guys fly over this molten lava, you see a tentacled magma crack in the burst from the lava below. Two tentacles look ready to snap. Do you keep your first initiative or do you wait and see if somebody else gets snatched up? Or do you guys wanna- Hold back, maybe I'll hold back

and let the other two get snatched at. Okay, so you're gonna let two go by. Yeah. Okay, so the first one is going to use a full dash action. I'm going to roll to see if the tentacle's hit. That is a 19 to hit. You do see one of the nightmares gets pulled back. Looks like lost a bunch of speed.

This next one is going to go. Tentacle hits that one. Ah, they're not gonna. They're not gonna. They're not gonna. Woo! I saw double digits on that next one. Luck be a horse tonight.

Tentacle slows this next one down. You are now free to move, but your initiative has moved to the third order. Yeah, but I move full dash. And you start blowing these guys out of the water. You see though that the one that was in the tunnel makes it through the tunnel also gets 180 feet and starts to catch up to you guys.

Looks to be about 60 feet behind you. So in the last round, all of you land and this is an all out sprint to the finish line. Normally I would have this be an animal handling check, but since the animal is moonshine, I will allow you to use. I guess a hard one is giving a help action as he holds the reins and like whips you. I'll never. I cast my whip aside and I whisper her in her ear. Run, run like the wind, Moonshot. Moonshot, go ahead and roll, Dex check with advantage.

Come on, Prado. 20, not net. I got 18 plus two, 20. 20, Moonshot, you blow by the last nightmare. And you guys go through the finish line. Woohoo! You guys saw him. Yo, that's so good.

I got the hell checked because the other one was a three. I placed a huge flower reef around, of course, much as like. I give birth. Oh, God. Bring the milk, bring the milk. You see, I'm holding a horse, baby. The station master, Flix is wrist

and makes you guys appear back full size. You start giving birth in the middle of the casino floor. I need hot Oh my god. No. Bring a basin. She's crowning. She's crowning. As soon as the baby comes out, it actually our wild shaped bag of demotion. So it looks like I gave birth to myself. Jesus Christ. What I miss. So you guys would have won 300 soul coins,

but the house is gonna take a cut of 100 coins. So you guys win 200 coins. Wow, holy shit. 200, okay. Put us, and put us in. 225 in the pot. So we've got 225 25 that y'all can all be back to a hundred Said yeah 50 yeah, we get we're all at a hundred again. This is amazing. Um, I give Mochiner flask I really shit

Did any more though? No you're not My next fucking crit is a one. Aw. They're backers. It's bitter, right? Feels good. It's got a real shine. Mochine, Hardowen, and Pop-Archursed.

It's a bad aftertaste. So our horns go away. Your horns go away. You guys are back. You guys feel like yourselves again. Is there any way to make it look like we're still devils? You can do minor illusion to have horns. Okay, everybody's back up to 100 coins and you guys have 75 extra coins.

You still need to win some money if you'd like to descend the elevator. Oh, that's right. Oh, and that's how we get down to the next level. I see. I see. Okay. I mean, there is an argument that we could, this is all via reports. That we could try to, you know, break the bank

and free these souls too. But there's also an argument to let's descend as quick as we can. Yeah, this place seems like it's not really lost souls. It's just a whole bunch of fucks, really fucks trying to steal souls. You see a hard one. You catch sight of Scarlet Montgomery looking super

haggard with all frayed hair. And she looks up at you hard one. Oh hard one, you look great. I've been seeing you in so long. You and I should get a room of stairs. She's definitely got a slot machine, right? Yeah, change smoking. I'm trying to just get enough money to go back up there. They got rooms up there things will do to you

Are the one you're missing large chunks of your hair? Yeah You and I we had some good times hard one. I didn't have a great time. You killed me and turned me into a vampire You know what by God's be byones. She drowned me, moonshine. So great to see you. Yeah, now you're a rough eater. We should go up to one of those rooms up there. Bet you, you and I, pool of our money, we can get us and us, good lay.

Yeah, you know what? Me, I'll meet you up there. Oh, wait here. You see she stands in the corner. Actually, you know what, come here, Scarlett. And yeah. It's really good to see you. I want to kiss her and then fill her with more water. I'm not a vampire anymore, but I'm a devil,

so I still don't like that. She walks away. What about this little fighting ring? Sweet. You guys walk over to the fighting ring and you see that there are people gathered around it sort of this pre-fight excitement. You look in and you see that this is not something that you participate in. This is something that you can bet on the combatants. You see that these people are betting on little winery monsters that are fighting each other. And people are like waving sole coins to the station manager to get in on it. The odds are 50-50, these are both challenge rating a quarter.

I'm gonna roll to see what kind of monsters there are. You see a flying sword is about to fight a bully wug. Holy shit. Is it a quick bully wug? Just a regular bully wug. I gotta go in on that flyingick Bully Wug? Just a regular Bully Wug. I gotta go in on that flying sword. Yeah, I'm gonna say flying sword then. Okay, how much money do you guys wanna put on the flying sword?

Wait, should we all put in on one or should we diversify? I mean, who wants to bet against the flying sword? The flying sword guaranteed to win. That's a problem. It's true, it is a sword and it doesn't know how to fly. Yeah, there's no way the flying sword doesn't win. It's the problem. It's true. It is a sword and it doesn't know how to fly. Yeah, there's no way the fly sword doesn't win. It's very good. Can we hear you saying that? There's just like the odds clearly say 50-50, but a really stupid imp turns to you and goes, yeah, that's what I said, guys. It's impossible. The

fly sword can't lose. Can't do a perception check to see if this guy looks rich. Yeah. Did you go all in on the flying sword? Because I think we're tossing around that idea. Yeah, I went all in, 100 soul coins. I got a 17, does this guy look like he's smart? He looks kind of like an idiot, but the odds are 50-50. So it's not. Can we give the flying sword a pep talk? You can yell into the bubble, essentially.

So it's kind of like the horse racing game where you guys are standing around it. And then there's like little versions of them. It's like talking to people in a snow globe. What do you guys say? You want to put in 25 soulquins? Each? Just total or? We only have 75. We only have 75.

We only have 75. Funny mug, right? Yeah. Okay. Let's just get a sense of how this is going to, how this thing. Dip to it. Or should we just go all in on the flying sword because is the next round gonna be a flying sword No, it could be anything. Oh, okay. It's a sad from Melora. All right. Let's at least do 50 Okay, we'll do 50. All right guys throw 50s old coins down the flying sword this flying sword and bully

Woke are gonna go at it flying sword sword sword sword. Oh, that is a now and Bullywag are gonna go at it flying sword. Uh, sword, sword. Ooh, that is a, now, had one on initiative for the flying sword. Did the sword drink a potion? Uh, flying sword and not drink a potion. Bullywag is gonna go first. And Bullywag charges forward with his spear.

You're gonna die, you fucking sword. Fuck you, Bullywag. Bullywag misses, um, damn right. His spear hits, um, uh, scuffs the sword a little bit to but does not hurt it like Swings back misses bully what goes that one misses sword goes sword. That's a 13 to hit Does not hit the bully? Oh Boley what gets another that one? Oh sword goes 15

It's just clown shoes in there. That's gotta hit. Yeah. 15 does hit the bully one. Yes. You never go against a blind sword. That's just common sense. No, first hit does not win.

It's gotta kill it. But they luckily they have so little HP that is a D8 plus one. Ooh, that is four damage to the bully walk. bully walk. Ah, my life on so hard. You killed the bully walk bully walk My my life on so her you Mrs sword goes Mrs the bully what goes ah That is a god the flying sword has a lot of armor class flying sword is hard to hit for the use low level

Flying sword goes Mrs.. Bullywagos. Mrs. Flying sword goes. Mrs. Bullywagos hits. Whoa. Ah, the delicate dance. We're editing it out five hours at his aim. Three. Three damage as you see the spear lands on the flying sword.

Haha, I got you. Flying sword turn flying sword hits. Oh, come on baby, come on get in there. That is five damage to the bullywug. The bullywug is on death's door. Jesus. The bullywug goes back. The bullywug misses sword, goes sword hits.

Yes! The sword cuts the bullywug. Yes! A bunch of the people cheer. You see that little imp collects 100. I lift him up and kiss him on the cheek. Well, he tries to use tongue. So hold, she's more in lust, man.

Win and lust, right? Yes, I did see it. That's the lust. A goat nutting over there. So you guys get 50 silk coins for winning that. All right, so we're up to 100. So I mean, what do we do? Do we sit here at the spot?

I'm gonna say the flying sword stays in the ring. 100 of them. Oh, he's got it. He's got it. We gotta heal the town. The sword is gonna stay in, then we're gonna keep that sword. I throw a tiny flower into the ring.

The sword gets his head. He gets hit points, right? I get hit points are back to full. He takes a short rest. I sing a song. Okay, the flying sword is going to fight a needle blight. Just a fucking vine. Oh shit, you never want to be a vine against a sword.

Okay, you don't want to bring a vine to a sword fight. This is Rock Bay Racist,issors that you sword over vine. Yeah, the imp that the imp is on hard one shoulders now, goes like, hey, you just brought a fucking vine to a sword fight, asshole. You're a fool. You absolute nave. Flying sword goes first, misses the vine. Vine goes hits. All right, get off my shoulders.

Get down. Things are tense now. Ooh, right off the bat, five damage to the flying sword. No, the flying sword looks for damage. Ah, it's needles. Needles into the sword. It's a little tiny little sword. The sword is just getting gung.

First a sword and the needle's winning. No, but it's like he's getting gunged up. He's gunged up our sword. Shout out to the two crew for the sword. Oh, needle-blight goes He'll fight hits again. Oh, no. That's six damage to the sword. The sword is looking real real scuffed up Sword goes hanging their sword sword misses. No, needle goes is sorted misses sword goes sword hits. Oh That's a big fucking nine damage. Huge hit. He's on death store. Back around to the Vine Mrs. Sword Mrs. Prune that Vine. I make a sign that says

Worshipers of Cored for the Sword. The Vine is Swine. Vine misses. Matt 20 for the sword. Oh! Oh! Ah, sword fucking cuts down the vine. Take that, you weed. Shit, how much money do we have now? You guys just want another hundred. We owe everything on the sword right now.

I guess we just keep on going. You see the imp goes, we going all in on the sword, and I'm just trying to kiss the hard one again. Okay. Okay. Why one you talked a big game How much you were gonna clean up this yeah, well, I you guys thought I was getting hit on by those like trisses I in a boat I this is this is equivalent I'd be honest you were charmed at the time, but they were just fucking with you. Yeah, but this but this we're just fucking with you. Yeah, but this but this is legit. There's not a fucking spell on you man. Oh man. I'm just on the edge. All right. I mean, no, but it does more for like, confidence than I, than the sad thing. I guess. Okay, let's see. All right.

Okay. You guys see the next enemy is a Koua-toa, a little fish man with a little spear. Oh, it's a shimmy time. You guys throw down 200 coins on the flying sword. Sword is going to roll initiative that is a 17 on initiative oh the fish the fish soldier beats him that is a natural 18 the fish is gonna go first uses it goes forward with a spear that is a 17 a hit

that is gonna hit the sword okay Okay, okay. That is four damage. Sword go. I'm really looking for vents to crawl in and steal all the money. Yeah. I am kind of like, this is like a last-dig effort, but I don't think we stand a chance to make a few. Seven damage with a fish.

It's a sword. Fish misses. Oh. Sword goes. Fish miss. Sword hits. Sword hits. I'm so sorry. That's another three. This fish dude is looking pretty messed up sword is my lord that is back that is back up to the fish

Fish miss is that is the swords turn this sword fucking hits again. Yes the sword Cores the sword goers Cores. Cores. The sword gores. Oh, ho, ho. And sword cuts down this fish man and you guys are awarded 200 solo coins. You guys see that the like dealer calls in the bitfiend, calls in like one of the pit bosses

and they escort the sword out. What? He was winning too much. Oh, okay. Oh, they're going to take him up to the pleasure bay? Yeah, shine out. I mean, that sucks because we could have, we could have potentially ended it out. Yeah, can we at least get a picture with the sword?

Yeah, if you want to get a quick picture with the sword, go ahead and get a picture with the sword. The sword, Mr. Sword. The sword, the big fan. Just to wobbling at you. You matter, her, me, I was saying cord Yeah, so it's our Lord Lord Lord Lord So it is our Lord it's like looks like very humble just does a little palpio So it is the sword is a door All right, all right, come on, go ahead. You're Hill

That's smart. That's better shake the swords Hill Hi you guys are gonna picture with him. Let's smart. That's better. Shake the swords. Hill. Hi, you guys are getting a picture with him. You guys get a picture with the sword. The main story you guys you guys see the sword is carried out. You hear the distance sound of a gunshot. What? I race upstairs. Oh, that was probably just... I fall. That was a far back farting. Right? I fall. Can I do... can I scry on the sword to see if he's still alive? Yeah.

He's scry on the sword. You see that the sword got the pit... the pit boss is gun loose from him and as instead shot the fiend and is flying away to freedom. God damn if I could have bought if I could have been on that foot I would have. He's unstoppable beautiful beautiful sword fly true. Fly true. Get out there's a better life waiting for you. Alright so we got 400 now.

I don't know what you all say. Without the sword here, it's really hard to just like. I'm bored without the sword. I know, I'm bored without the sword. This place is dull, I just hell. Yeah, whoa, this place is dead. All right, let's go to that elevator and get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, I'm really worried that everyone that works here is going to simultaneously orgasm and I don't wanna be here for that. Yeah, I'm really worried that everyone that works here is going to simultaneously orgasm And I don't want to be here for that. Yeah, let's get out. This is a power. There is a low rumbling of people just like Okay, let's rush to an elevator I don't get me wrong. I like to have orgasms, but in the privacy of my own cabin when I'm alone Sweet you guys now have enough that you can all have 100% of your soul still intact, but you have an extra 100 to pay the toll

to get down below. All right. That's the most important thing. So you guys, yeah, you see there is this one big burly devil bouncer standing by the elevator. Got the money on the toll. Yeah. All accounted for.

Yep, we do. Sure do. You hand over 100 coins each. You guys see this big fiend turns a crank, causing the middle gate to move, and opening the elevator for you. You enter the fiend turns the crank again and as the gate closes, you hear him go, I told you I get the coins from you one way or the other and you see that it has the same eyes as Fierna.

I turned to the fiend and say, enjoy it while it lasts, because your house of cards is coming toppling right down. The elevator lowers to the next level of hell. Who the hell was that? That's what I'm gonna say, you know I don't actually know. Woo!

Man, do I like that game? I could play some, I could keep on gambling. I rolled, I rolled to see, we did an episode of Ape of Book Club where we had these little weiner monsters fight each other. I had to be honest, that's kind of why I went for the sword, because this sword did win weiner, weiner, weiner, roll. Yeah, I rolled the, and we did this on that one. I had six different creatures, that's kind of why I went for the sword. Because the sword did win the inner. Yeah, I rolled the, and we did this on the, I had six different creatures and I rolled the D6

to see who would show up first. And the sword was in there and I was like, they're gonna run the fucking table with the sword. Yeah, how can you beat a sword? It's a sword. We should play this as a, I know we already did something like this on a mixed bag, but we should do it with our real actual money.

Yeah. Yeah. I have thought of it. Oh, that'd be a great like Jeremy live stream or something. Have you seen my husband gamble? Have you seen my husband roll? No, I'm a notoriously bad writer. Right. Now I was going to suggest we play with our Patreon money but I think for charity is much

better. Yeah we should just have a bunch of famous D&D people come by and we just play the stupidest game ever Yeah, and if you want to hear the first like monster scrub battle We did go to patreon.com slash nad pod. Yeah Sweet guys. Thank you for listening. You can head on over to our patreon patreon.com slash nad pod That's naddpod don't sing yet. Oh, I almost did Um, don't listen to our little short rest. Emily and I have a sketch show.

It's on pop TV. It's called Hot Date. You can watch it at 10 and 10 30. On Fridays. Back to back, baby. We're can download the pop now app and watch all 10 episodes right now. Called, what do you got to plug?

Ooh, I will plug another television show. It is called Big City Greens and season two starts on November 16th on the Disney Channel and corresponding apps. Um, I can't remember when Disney Plus comes out, but it's soon. So, uh, you can watch it that way if you want, or Amazon or iTunes. Uh, this time, Cricket is back and, uh, everyone is trying to destroy him for all the mayhem and Havocke has caused. But Tilly, she'll ascend, team Tilly. I love Tilly, team Tilly.

I'll see you in this household. Yeah. I'm very excited for all the CVs new episodes. I'm not against the other characters. I just love Tilly. These new episodes are bonkers and very fun. Check them out. Jake, what do you got?

Just my TV show, brother sister beard oil, brother sisterco.com. That sounds like an erotic massage service. That I started with my sister. That he was saying televised. Okay, yeah. See, I checked that one out. He said it was a TV show and then said brother sister oil. I want to have a TV show.

I always got fucking TV shows with me. All you have is a fucking family oil business. I gotta stop calling in a family oil business man. Wait, oil, you're an oil man. I'm an oil man. Wow. Very dangerous day. I'm a family man too.

I'm so money. I'm a little bit of the family man so money. I'm the only family man. You should introduce yourself as an oil magnate. All right guys, follows on Twitter at CHMurf is me. I call these call the all-addy expert is Emily and at Chaker, which is Jake and tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's NADPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, youth of a nation we are, we are. The youth of a nation.

Okay, it's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D. Dylan B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Spencer Caskbrew. A group of high-rolling demon gamblers currently betting on how far into hell the band of boobs will go. Right now, the best odds are that they'll make it to level 5, then Beverly will get everyone killed by agreeing to a demonic poetry session.

Beardman Dan, Hermes W, Spartus, Atomar, and Danielle the Desterly Dame. Five of Alonus' automatons currently combing the multiverse in search of her. They attempted to track her down by scent, but just ended up at a head shop in Galatoron. Very chill. Haldor Frostback, Multiphor, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S. and Cutter W.

A group of coin goblins who count the money at the Honeytrap Casino. Their catchphrase is of course, the house always wins. Oh, and they also say, get the money! Shubbert the mushroom, Alaina C, Mixologist Michael D, and Andrew M. Shae's best four yoga students. They're all amazingly flexible, bring their own yoga mats, and can meditate for over three hours without saying something inappropriately sexual. Wow, the band of boobs could never.

Balnor's boy, Justin I, Jacob C, and Elena M, a group of rowdy demons who likes to play drinking games with the deck of many things. Last time they played, all four of them woke up in a prison gym with huge hangovers and a super freaked out half-link night. McPucks, Earl and Kathleen L, Jive G, and Jostridge. The other members of Nana Kind leave the bridge club. They spend most of their time eating worthers originals and gossiping about the freshness of various children, so fresh. Damio R, Destin C, and Devon B, the only people to drink from the river sticks and not

be affected. The only thing the water made them forget was their high school My Chemical Romance Cover Band, which is perhaps a blessing in disguise. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakaraya Sdezekwani, Michael L and Sam H, three demons visiting the Honeytrap Casino. But not to gamble, they came to see a performance by Hell's greatest and only entertainer, Jeff Dunham. Trayle the Cray-Fay, Aaron G, Alacard and Jory S. A crew of Rowdy Devils headed out to

the Honeytrap for a Bachelor slash Bachelor at party. Three of them have already lost their souls, and one of them fell into a lava geyser while competing in the nightmare race. Oh no! Babydok, Adam H, Ryan, and Troy McCee, a gang of local bullies who plagued the hungry trout tavern in Moonstone before the barbarians came into town and beat them up. They did some soul searching, came back refreshed, and are finally ready to bully town'sfolk again. Good luck to you. Big Buck, Richard X Machina, Cannibalistic Cthulhu, and Sam L. The visionaries behind the blockbuster movie, Ulf Gargos Punch, and the Gritty reboot, Ulf Gargos F**kin Punch!

Coming to theaters in 2021. Dom R, Josh S, Blitzbrieg Demetriry and Caleb Storm, a group of dwarven stone masons who built and maintained the astral keep for 300 years. And no, they do not have insurance. Bummer. Nicholas C. Mike H. Matthew E. and Samuel B. A family of deep-nomes who are still mourning fucker the beloved scamp. Some mornings it's hard to even tee-hee without thinking of a smile as he stands over an

innocent person with a butcher knife. Ah, you'll make it through. Till for a G, Colton B, engage M, a group of monks with Dragon Ball Z powers who shoot key beams and can summon a dragon who grants wishes. Feel free to hop in and help the band of boobs whenever you want guys. Seriously. Arenc, Bahumiya's fiercest L&D, TJM the gnome barbarian, and trash the traveler. A cover band at the honey trap who plays clever devil parodies to lure people into the charcandon. As soon as you hear, I'm on the pursuit of Satanist you've already snorted lava.

Oof! Anime intellect, Zolo Dollo, Larissa J, Dylan C.M. The wannabe DM, and Kelvin Noodles, a crew of chosen soldiers who have been trying to get into the honey trap all night. You can't use milk as a bribe, guys. It won't work. Be money! J, Heartless Master, and Cece Lulu. Rins rich rivals who are so rich that they look down on Rin for being poor.

It's sort of justified, but also super problematic. Paul B, Barnes and Ador, Eric G, and Zach C, a traveling band of half-ling bars who sing Kalu Kale as they click their yippy-skippy boots and dance for coppers. Beverly has never been more invious of anybody. That's true. Joshua C. Aiden R. L. E. K. and Luke H. A crew of high-elvin grad students who majored in

Crick L studies and spent a month studying at the Crick. This involved drinking and rafts, starting fires, and of course, rasslin bullywugs. Sounds like a good summer. I'm hopeless, Timmy R, Alex M, and Erin R.S. A crew of devils who were planning a sophisticated Machiavellian takeover of the first layer of hell until the band of boobs freed all the law souls. They're beginning to outline their next plan for world takeover and should be ready to start putting out feelers in the next two or three hundred years. Good luck dear friends!

Lucas B. Ruben A. Jordan L. Laura S. and J. Parker. Members of a chosen rock band who are mandatory listening for citizens of Galatoron. Sure they're evil and uphold the Allis Iron Rule, but their album, 2% milk, 98% rock, freaking rips. Not a single dud, amazing. Austin C. Austin MR. Just a pissed off trist, aka touch it, and Kaley Elise. A crew of sophisticated gangsters in Glade Home.

Careful, these rap scallions aren't afraid to throw a duel in glove down if you supply them with the wrong salad fork. How dreadful! Devin W. Chinnoa B. Jared E. and Persephone, a group of green teen slam poets who will be performing religious poems at the first ever green teen slam-breen. I can dig it. Reese and S. Bell in the Bard. Jackie, Haley, Eric, and Andrea B.

Acrove adventurers who discovered hard ones old body and carefully placed it in the babbling brook so that it would stay preserved. It's too bad the band of boobs thought it was an illusion. What are you gonna do? Steven C. Diane W. Maxwell C. Mike K. and Michael M. Lydia Stormborn's Shadowfell Council. This list is also an exact order of succession should anything befall the ruler of Shadowfell. Quartz save us all if we get down to Michael M. Omri M. Calum L. Charo Arcadia's Scott D, and No Thor the Prodigy Ranger.

A bunch of devils mentioned by name in Bev's Hellbook. It specifically talks about how good-looking and wealthy they are. Also mentions they have a lot going for them on a personal level. Not even sure what makes them devils. They all seem like great people. Huh. Shane B, the pinch. Dan, Richard C, and Karen T. A group of Crick elf youngins that were

accidentally left in a time out bag, which was accidentally left at the Crick! Yoikes! We're coming back for you kids! Just keep smoothing until we get there! Joss Nack, Curtis S, Michael C, BJL, Nikki W, and Andrew B. Beverly's old babysitters. That's right, Bev was such a rowdy kid that he needed six friggin babysitters. And not one of them could get him to bed because he was so hopped up on Werther's originals. Christopher B. Birthday boy Pete C. Barrison Kin of the Wizards Tower. Jonathan the Arcadian

Gamesmith. And Nicholas P. The only people Jinslandell follows on Trinstagram. Sadly none of these trendfluencers follow Jins back, despite his repeated desperate DMs, but oddly enough they do all follow Blavin. Current Blameham can I? Robert F. Sharon G. Kevin M. Jake L. and Dubie Ash Tray, a group of earth elementals who form a literal rock band. The gimmick is just so good that all of their fans forgive the fact that none of them really know how to play instruments. The pun is just that good.

And that's all of our elders for this week. Thank you all so so much for listening. We appreciate each and every one of you, and we'll see you next time. Bye! Appreciate each and every one of you and we'll see you next time. Bye! That was a Hate-Bum podcast