Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 8: The Moonstone Massacre (The Moonstone Saga)

Episode Date: March 29, 2018

The party faces the Cracked Tooth Clan in a battle for the fate of Moonstone! Hardwon goes head to head with the barbarian leader in a duel of catchphrases, Moonshine uses her druidic powers to turn her fiddle into a terrifying weapon, Beverly suffers several concussions, and PawPaw races to find back up. Music includes:"Gypsy_Violin_Variation" by Howard Geisel at Freesound.org."Emotional Piano" by triangelx at Freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamaneeve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya everyone. Bahumya. Bahumya.

I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwits. Hard one, sure, foot. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz, hard one, sure, foot, Emily Axford. Moonshine, Simon, AK, killer of Josh, AK. You know what with it, you cry, babies, if you can't handle death, you won't last a day at the creek. Ah, and called Roll Tanner. Beverly Toe Gold also doesn't miss Josh. Ah, yeah, that was a funny thing that people got so upset about Josh dying because Josh

would have for sure instantly joined the barbarians and attacked you guys. I wanted to do his role a 12 persuasion and he would try to kill us. Just a bunch of, not loyal. Yeah, just a bunch of buff dudes that want to hang out and he's rolled to the leg press and that's it. These co-brows ain't loyal. These co-zaint loyal. These co-zaint loyal.

That's the bumper sticker that we come out with. That's the one bumper sticker. The bumper sticker that goes on is the only merch we ever make. It sells one to Emily who never takes it. I give it to my mom from other say. I don't get it. She just quietly mails it back to you a couple weeks later. You could just share this cafe press link

with all your friends mom. Really appreciate it. Cool guys, let's do a recap. Yeah. So last week you guys were in the castle, you were all alone, you just finished your battle, you were there with Jonah, the Crick, Bullywug. Such a cutie. Such a cutie. Don't like him either. Kick my dad. That was very good. Yeah, so you had a terrible run in with a troll that kicked

a lot of his family to death. So we'll get there. So Bevin Moonshine solved a little puzzle, a little puzzle. Yeah, at the dark altar. A color puzzle. A color book. It was my favorite time. We put blue and red together and made purple. Color theory. Fuck yeah.

So you guys completed the puzzle and you were able to get the dragon egg. Meanwhile, hard one shorefoot went back to check on the green teens at the camp and found a bullywug king skulking around the forest. That fucker, that deviant fucker. A hard one engaged him in one-on-one combat and was knocked out. You were a minute?

But you were a minute. It was a good fight. And he had a crazy cursed sword. But then you were saved by Irland, who used lay on hands on you or as he calls it touch hands. Can I say that during the fight, it seemed really epic.

Like hard one was having this epic battle but the way that you just recapped it, I was like, oh. I think Durland touched you. How many times? You can lose your scout hood for that. Yeah, how many times have you been saved by a child during this game? Too many to count.

And Irland was almost killed by the Bullywag King. Right. The Bullywag King got two swings on him, but he was able to move out of the way. You then popped back up and you finished him. Yeah, right. So now you guys have this curse to sword that you wrapped the cloak around so that you guys wouldn't be affected by its curse. Hell yeah.

Still thinking about it though. It's still, still thinking about that blade. Yeah. Then Bev and moonshine met up with you. You guys said you're goodbyes to Jonah who met up with the other Crick Bullywags. Bev and Jonah, you guys exchanged teeth. We did exchange teeth.

And ultimately I think became friends in a way. Which tooth did I give him? A cobalt tooth, I can't remember. I think you gave him a cobalt tooth. He gave you one of his funk teeth. Okay, I gotta write that down. Oh, such an important tooth. Not a molar.

Just a front dead tooth. Yep, I'm gonna write that down. So then you guys went to return to Moonstone and as Moonshine put it... Something's a stray at the base. Something was a stray at the bay. You guys got there and it was no longer glowing because the staff had been stolen.

You guys showed up in the town, and you saw that people were being attacked by animals. The animals were going crazy. You guys met Mateo, who is the Druid fuckboy. I can't believe that we sent those children off with that fuck boy. It felt really irresponsible. Yeah, but it'll teach him how to hacky sack.

It'll be fine. Well, they're going directly to a bear. Yeah, Mateo ran off with the green teens to go save Denny who was being carried off by a bear. You guys sent that? A guaranteed Mateo mostly fucks an animal form. Caryntine. Is that an option?

I think that's the true one. Yeah, you can definitely turn it to. It's a very common one. Yeah, on their wild shape. The wild is the key word there. Yeah. Then you guys went over to the Hungary trout in and tavern where on the roof, the half-worked druid

that you guys had seen earlier in the campaign, staring at the bay, now had the staff and was holding it horror movie style with like Ravens whipping around. It was raining. There was thunder and lightning. And then Gresh gave his big speech where he told everyone to join them or die. Hard one went up and pretended to bend the knee. Before that, Mollinshine and Beverly put on a little show. We did. That is correct. Yeah, that's right.

We knew Beverly, my new fiddle. Right, so you guys tried to appease Gresh with a nice, jaunty fiddle tune when you've been all over. When this is all over, we are just going to form a band and stop going on adventures. We're just going on tour. Yeah. The greatest adventure of all. So here's where you guys are right now. Hard one you're on the roof with Gresh and this druid, Lund Cold Spear.

It is raining. You've just pretended to bend the knee and then instead you need him in the throat. Popped up. I did bend the knee. I just connected it with his fucking jaw. Yeah. Vintage it the other way. Bev and moonshine.

You guys are standing on the ground level. You can see into the hungry trout in. There are barbarians pouring out of it. And you guys also have your friend, the fiddle playing bard next to you guys. He's still standing there. moonshine, you traded Fiddles with him. He got Old Betsy and you got New Betsy.

I got New Betsy. Is it any U.E. New Betsy? No, I don't know. It's not like New Betsy. It's not breaking back to you, man. Everything. Real quick, I'm gonna scratch it to say New Betsy and stuff. Okay, yeah, this was,

this is actually the violin from Yellow Card. Yeah. You guys remember Yellow Card? There's a please on Ocean Avenue the new. Okay, not so hot. Punk unless there's a fucking fiddle. Perfectly. So hard one guy. Yeah, you guys get a surprise round because you've just thrown a knee at this guy. So roll with advantage to knee

garation the throat. Hooray. No problem. 21. Don't. Yeah. Oh, You hit. So, an unarmed strike, you're not going to roll for that. That's just your strength modifier plus one. So that's going to be five damage from you.

Fuck yeah. So hard one. Pop's up. As Gresh is laughing, he's got this razor out. He was going to shave your head. And I'll tell Tarty once here. You pop up and CM Punk style. Just knee him in the neck. And he goes, oh,

no, my fucking throat. I don't intend to fuss. I thought we were going to be friends, bro. I don't think so. Fuck you, fuck you. Okay. So you guys, I'll say you guys get to act in a surprise round as well. I probably knew hard one wasn't going to bend the knee. So if you guys would like to kind of prepare an action or throw something or if you wanted to become a fungal entity or something. Yeah, the thing is I don't know if we're going in a battle or not, but I got a feeling we're going in a battle. So I would like to use my bonus action to shalele then symbiotic entity. Okay. Merfr, are there barbarians on the ground or are they are we currently? Yeah, there are definitely a few that are like

hanging outside the tavern that we're watching the speech and we'll probably run in, you know, as soon as things get started. Okay. All the just for the visual. As soon as I see it, hard ones need connect to the jugular. I immediately become a mushroom queen with a flame in the jar.

Yeah, where does the fiddle go at this point? Ha ha ha. I'm still playing it. Oh wait, could you shellayly the fiddle instead? Yes. Oh, can I? Absolutely, absolutely. Oh my god.

Oh my god. So wait, when it shellays? So now I'm a mushroom queen with a flaming fiddle that I'm gonna fucking use like a club. Yeah, it still has its strings. It's just blunted. Hey, country music. It's new bed seats. So, it still has its strings. It's just blunted. Hey, country music. It's cool.

So, Ben, are you gonna do anything? I wanna, is there like a back entrance? Yeah, I mean, I guess you don't know. You'd need to look around. All right, I wanna do, I guess, inspection. Moonshine, badass. Turns you into a fucking mushroom. Gets a giant club.

Beverly runs around and looks for a door. Beverly turns in a circle. Yeah. Beverly, I guess give, Beverly's playing sport. It expects a handful of dirt. Beverly, give me, give me a investigation check. That's going to be a six. OK, it's just a door.

So yeah, you see a door in the back. So if you run over to the door, I'll say with only a six investigate check, you're not really, you put your ear up to it to kind of hear, all you hear is kind of the routingness from inside, you can't really discern exactly what's going on. Can I try and peek in the door? No, this is all happening very fast.

Everybody roll initiative. All right, 12, two, six. Not good guys. Oh boy, that's good. Oh God. I was trying to sneak in the back and see if I could find Mishko was my plan But it's a solid plan. Yeah, it's a good plan. I might send Paw Paw to try and get back up Yeah, that's a good idea

So you guys see when hard one attacks? Yeah, the barbarians down on the ground level like hop up into fight mode You see a guy with a whip runs out of the tavern and charges at you, Moon Shine. I have a question. I was holding it. We had that that shield from before. Oh yeah, you guys you guys. Can I use that magic shield? Yes, you can use that magic shield. That shield is called the Shield of Arrow Catching. It gives you plus two AC against projectiles. So not a whip. You guys also have... What if he throws the whip at me?

So the cloak that you got... You can't hand him in it. Before we get destroyed by barbarians, can you tell us what we have? What your stuff does? Sure. You guys also that cloak that you guys wrapped the curse sword in gives you plus one AC.

So if somebody wants to put that up and you guys just want to... I was holding that one. Okay, should you put that on? You should throw that on after you ne one AC. So if somebody wants to put that up and you guys just want to just I was holding that one. Okay, I should throw that on after you Neym. Oh, that's good. Can I do it? Yes. Can I have done that? Yeah, you just yeah, you Neym and the neck and then dainty like a game. One second. Awesome.

One last thing and one lame thing. That is hard when you're put to that. So we'll say the sword is now wrapped up in just some clothes just an extra pair of pants The sword is now wrapped up in some Brett Farve Wrangler's so this guy runs out He takes a whip to moonshine. He's going to swing and he is going to Miss a Second attack and he is definitely going to hit Is that a whipper is that a whiff Six damage right guys. Six six damage. Ah, I say you're gonna regret that Then I hope that whatever then Gresh turns to you hard one and he says you could have been one of us

instead you're just gonna be And he says, you could have been one of us. Instead, you're just gonna be in the ground. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, man. God, man, you're not smart, are you? You. That is a 15-hit, does that hit you? No. Yes.

As he's struggling to think of a one-liner, he swings at you with his rapier, and you move out of the way. But he is now going to swing with his dagger. And he misses with that, and he goes with the other dagger and he is gonna hit that time. And he hits for seven damage. Okay. Are you dead?

No, I'm a 21. That is going to be the druid. The druid is going to use the staff. You see he's got these ras up there, hard one. First thing he's going to do is he's going to point the staff at you. You see this white light shine at you, like a beam and like moths to a flame.

The Ravens go down on you and descend on you. They go down you. And the Ravens are going to stop you. He's too edgy. He's just a ton of beaks coming at it. Surprisingly tender, beaky blow jobs. Does a 16 hit you? No.

Whoa, because of the cloak. Yeah, the cloak. Oh, oh wait, shit. He just like block him with the cloak. Yeah, dude, yeah, like a matador. The birds get tricked and you're able to swipe them away. So they mess smaller. He's gonna use, he swings the staff around

and he points it at a horse in like a nearby stable. And the horse is gonna make a wisdom saving throw. And the horse, you see its eyes go like a glossy white. We gotta get that, I do not want to attack animals. Yeah. We already have the blood of an eagle on our hands. Yeah, and I have a lot of respect for horse's legs because I sort of have them myself. Oh yeah, they do have the blood of an eagle on our hands. Yeah, and I have a lot of respect for horse's legs, because I sort of have them myself.

Oh, yeah, they do have the rears of a horse. It's just like, it's a powerful romp. Yeah. It's a good romp. Yeah, I thought that was a bone rope. That is you hard one. Cool, I'm going to go with the dude with the trident. I'm going to swing my grade X at his face.

Why not? Yeah, give him something that'll make him unloyal. That is a 21. Nice, not a 19 or a 20 net roll. No, that was a six. Cool, or no, a 17. Roll your damage, get a D12. Roll your DDs.

Find the D12, which is, that one's tricky. Just the one you use every time. That is a one, but I get to re-roll. Because I have great weapons fighting. I finally figured it out. I'm so proud of you. And that time it was a three. But that is a seven total.

Seven total. Okay. You aim for this dude's head and he kind of moves out of the way, but you do slash him across this chest. And's got a decent Nick there nice just a decent Nick Just a good Nick just heart one have any sort of like bonus action you could do Oh, I have action sir right now you do you could use your action search if you would like sweet. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz if we can take this guy at all. Yeah, you take out Dolph one grip. Yeah, you just make it attack Attack roll you 20 oh Yeah, you take out Dolf one grip. Yeah, you just make it attack that tackle E20 Oh, you know how to attack

That is a 20 I don't know how to do math 22 you hit This weak little shaman take a bitch Get that ponytail another one Real oh my goodness is bad and another three You're in like the groundhog Dave rolls Oh my goodness, this is bad. And another three, seven total. He is us. You're in the Groundhog Day of Rolls. Okay, you rear up. Exactly, maybe on a 21-letter.

You did 21, then. Yeah. You rear up to swing and to capitate this dude. Once again, he kind of sidesteps it. And the Nick you did before gets bigger. It's a big nick now. Sweet. Love a good big nick. It's a big nick now. Sweet. Love a good big nick. It's a big, love big nick.

Cool. Then you see there is a commotion inside the tavern. Like moonshine, you can see from the outside, you see some beer flying and some guys running inside. There's something going on in there. But you also see six of these barbarian guys run out and four of them are going to try to hop up to the roof. Oh my god, fall.

One of them gets up, two of them get up. Uh oh. Okay, they rolled a 15, a 17, an 18, and a 1. Nice. So how about that other guy falls and takes everybody with him. I never used my reaction from my round. Oh, what would you like to do? Can I, the guy who, the guy who, no, no, my reaction, which is my spores is my reaction.

Okay. My bonus action, my action, but I have a reaction. Can I spore the guy that falls? Yeah. Can I paint the picture? Please. Those three start climbing up and this one guy comes out with two corn dogs in his hand. He's like, wait for me!

I don't want to put down my corn dog! I didn't get a chance to eat! Cool, so this guy, so three guys bound up and get up on top of the roof. This other guy has two corn dogs and he's kind of trying to hold two of them in one hand and try to one-handed climb. He falls backwards, moonshine, a spores on the corn dog. The guy takes a bite of the spore to corn dog, and a giant mushroom grows out of it, and he's still alive, but he does not look good for it. You spore this dog. Does he think he was the corn dog and not me? Yeah, he goes, oh, corn dog's bad.

Corn dog's bad, man. I can't believe you spawned this corn. And then two, these two other guys are going to swing at you, Moon Shine. So the first guy, Mrs. and the second guy is gonna hit. Really he hits a fucking 15 AC. Believe it or not, some people can roll higher than a 10.

Okay, so that is not in the bed of boobs. No, no, no, no, you guys are the two crew So that is four damage to you to live crew. Okay, Lord damage. I take it like a champion Great, I just grossed fours where he hit me. Oh, they like bubble out. Yeah, they bubble out So she thinks I'm not hurt, but that's how I believe right now. That is going to be you, Moon Shine. Okay, so I've got two guys around. How many guys have I got around me? You've got two around you, and you've got one on the ground who you just poisoned his

corn dog. And then there's also the guy with the whip. So three regular guys, one guy with the whip. What I'd like to do is, first off, I'm going to shout, give me that trident, but I'm going to work on these guys down here, because they don't really have an out. Can I send Paw Paw to do something and then attack the whip guy? Yeah, you could do as a minor action, send Paw Paw to do something. As a minor action, as a minor action,

I'm going to have him climb down through my cleavage and then out through like the back of my overall Touching every single private part It does look like you're taking a full-body dump these barbarians are just gonna think you gave birth to Bob Bob and you're a giant mushroom down your cleavage and out your ass I'm gonna let you Describe what happens and then I'll let you roll an intimidation. So first I'm whispering to pop up but it looks like I'm just talking to myself and then a Small body starts moving inside my overalls and I look uncomfortable because he's clawing me a little bit

So I'm like squirming and riving and then out of the butt flap of my overalls, pause out. Can I do pop-ups, boys, for this? Yeah. Oh, what the fuck? One of the bags just starts vomiting. Just pop-ups. I'm rolling it, rolling intimidation check. That's a terrifying visage. Yeah.

Aw. I got it. With advantage? I got a six. That's gross. Let's kill her. I hate it. I should tell you I'm sending Papa to go try and find Mateo the fuck boy.

Do you want to just tell him to kind of try to find any druid, like find any help? Yeah, that's true, too. That's true. Okay. Yeah, I just like look closely at him. Yeah. Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B This is the fuck you fight. I thought you were gonna do something about violin strings maybe on a melt. Oh, yeah, how's this for violins? Pluck you oh Like these fuck violin

The bar next to you just goes nice And then I am Oh, and to hit that does not it. I'm sorry He dances out of the way. I'm gonna say I'm saving you from my shalei and then I'm gonna Spores the corn dog guy wait your sports and okay the corn dog guy is dead He's for the one corn dog he eats it he goes oh Forced in corn dog. This is fucked up. He throws it away He doesn't take a bite of the other corn dog instead you spores that one he bites that at least I've got another corn dog he bites it and his stomach

explodes and he is he is just on the ground wait how did you do two spores well because my I didn't use my reaction from the very first surprise round aqua coca-cola as the the uh... all of the uh... ultimately comes down to what Beverly will allow a lot of the democratic

if that was really barely right now i'm by a door this bar i'm surrounded by barbarians here at door this bar standing next to you moonshine, pulls up, ol' Betsy, and starts playing, and hard one. Up on the roof, you are reminded of the first time you heard the fiddle when you arrived in Moonstone. Oh, yeah, that's cool.

And you were the fucking man. You knew everyone would know the bastard of the mountain by the time you left here, and now you know that to be true drinking the fiddle So you get a dice of bardic inspiration the prophecy fulfilled you have a D6 that you can use whenever Oh sweet. I'm gonna use it right now on this fucking guy with the trident. Well, it is not your turn course That's why I'm gonna wait the quiet course Cool that is going to be Bev all right. I'm still by the door. You're still in the back. I'm on door patrol big time.

Okay. I really would like to pick the lock. Deb, do you want to do another like perception check? Yeah, can I do that as like a minor action? Yeah, I like that you're like sneaking around like Sherlock Holmes while there's just a blood back in front of your foot. A mystery's a foot.

And I point to my feet. Ooh, that's a 17, oh plus one. So 18, sorry of foot. And I point to my feet. Ooh, that's a 17. Oh, plus one, so 18, sorry. Cool. You put your ear up to the door. You hear a fucking ruckus. Yeah. You hear barbarians yelling, but you also hear a woman screaming

out like war cries. And some of the barbarians being terrified. And you can assume that's probably Mishka fighting some barbarians in there. Yeah, that's my girl. So now you can do your stuff, whatever you wanna do. Real quick to y'all, outside of the game, should I try and get Mishka

or should I head up to the roof to help hard one? Do you have time to do one action to shout in the window and say, Mishka, we need help out here. Oh, that's great. And then, scurry up. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. All right, I'm gonna open the door. I'm gonna creak the door and shout at Mishka.

To be like, Mishka, it's me Beverly from before. Remember, you had sprite, but you said you didn't have sprite, but that's not important right now. Anyway, me and hard one and moonshine, we're here and we're helping. Okay, bye. You just hear clanging and screaming and stuff, and she just goes,

ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh hell yeah, girl. Just a crazy war cry. Okay, sounds good. I'll swing, I'll run back around and help Moonshine take

out some of these dudes. Cool. So you run back around, there is the whip guy. Yeah. And there's a disemboweled man holding to poison corn dogs. As a violin aficionado, can't play it, but love the dang thing. I'm gonna have to go after this whip guy

because he's treated the violin as cruelly. Great, so I'm drunk. Yep, let me roll a dang die. Earn your violin protector's badge. The badges get so specific, that's how the green thing do all the bad things. I think that counts as music appreciation. That's gonna be 18 plus five five 23. Yeah, super hits.

All right. I say welcome to the Mala young Beth. Thanks for inspecting the door. Okay. That's gonna be a six plus five. That's 11. Yeah. 11 damage. Yeah. All right. Cool. This guy is right fucked up, but he ain't dead yet. Okay. Cool. He's a little tougher. He's beef here Sure, he's bald. He's got to go T. Yeah, it's always bald I guess he's got a ponytail too because all the guys are bald But yeah, it's ponytail starts way further back Yeah, they're all bald with ponytails. You know, Crick people are superstitious about bald people

We did know that we love them. You love well, I they're good luck. Wow, but these bald people have no hospitality. Oh, moonshan is destroyed. They've marred their beautiful bald heads with these ugly ponytails. You're right. So they're not bald. It's a perversion. It's a perversion. The reverse bald spot they have. They're bald everywhere except for where the ponytails are. Except for where the ponytails are. Except for Kharash who just has long, luxurious hair. And instead of missing teeth, he has gold teeth. So he's just hot. Okay, so they're a perversion of the bald head.

So they're almost like a, yeah. So that's, that's back to whip guy. Does whip guy have a tiny ponytail on the bottom of his goatee? Yes. Okay, good. So he whips forward his tiny goatee for flavor, and he says,

this is what I'm gonna do to you, except with my whip, instead of with my whip like goatee, he takes a swing at moonshine, and he misses big time. He just like cracks way too early. Oh, I cracked too early. He's supposed to crack on the hit. So he misses. Then that is going to be crash. Gresh swings with his rapier and he misses. He swings with his dagger

and he misses. Come on, baby. He swings with his dagger one last time and says, this one's definitely gonna hit. Watch this. That's my fucking life. Any fucking hit. I've watched this. God damn it, that's cruel. That hurts. It hits you for five damage. Okay. Cuts you across the thigh.

He did the thing you do except good. Yeah. Oh man, he went for the thigh too, that really hurts. Yeah. Now it is going to be the Druids turn. He is going to first command the birds to attack you again, hard one. The birds come flying down. Let's see if he can use your cape again to escape.

They miss. Once again under the cloak, you're basically Batman. A two little bird. One bird on the job. You're a buffer Batman. Awesome. Cool. Then he's going to come in with the horse. With the better ears.

The horse to run over and try to kick betterly. What? What is this horse's name? This horse's name is Bojangles. Y'all, do we know this? I probably... Yeah, for sure. I haven't drew it.

I haven't drew it this far. I know this famous horse. Bojangles. Oh, shit. That's the town horse. I show y'all spare bow jangles his ain't his scheme This is this is the little Sebastian of runestone is Drag you come into the town. There's a big sign that says welcome to moon stone home of bow jangles Oh

My god he hits with his kick a Course he comes over and he bucks at you with his hooves. He hits you for eight damage. He just freaking bucks you in the head. There's cute horses just bucking like crazy going nuts. Hit you for eight. Yeah he does. All right.

Then he is going to point at a passing. Let's see what kind of animal he sees. Ooh, there's an owl flying by. He's going to try to get the owl. Got it. Yeah, bring it on. What's it going to do? Come I fortune. The owl rolled a nice. Hold on. Hases check. The owl, the owl is wise. Just looks at him with a side eye and flies off. Cool. I'm too old for this too. I shout out to the owl, go get your friends, save the town.

Can we please pause on Emily saying that owls know how to read fortunes? That's what they do. That's not a thing at all. But down at the crib, if you have a big decision, if you have a girl or a boy that you're interested in, you're thinking of asking them out, you have a girl or a boy that you're interested in, you're thinking of asking them out, you eat a bunch of mushrooms and go talk to an owl. You give the owl, it sounds like the mushrooms are doing the heavy lifting. Do you like read the owl pellets?

Do you like give the owl a dead rat and then it spits up the bones in a certain way? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. You guessed it. Yeah. Cool, so that was the druid now, and it is you hard one. Glad we clarified that. Cool. So first of all, I want to use the bardic inspiration. Why don't you do that? You can do that after you roll to see if you don't hit. Then you can add the inspiration. Yeah, you've been rolling so well. You haven't needed it yet.

That is an 18. Don't. That is going to hit. So you can just roll your damage. And that is a 14. Holy shit, you kill him, finish him. Oh, he's out! Yes! Could I kill him with this ultrited? Yeah, that's true. Yes, you absolutely can. Cool, he's pointed at the owl and I say,

you don't fuck with owls. I just found out what birds are pretty recently. And I think they're noble creatures. I spin the trident around, through his neck, spear his head, and then toss him over to the side. Dope. And mine are actually, can I throw the trident to Moonshine? You know what?

Okay, if you try to throw it right now, Gresh is gonna do an opposed athletics check to try to intercept it. Ooh, oh, here we go. See, I think that makes Harvon wanna do it more. We're gonna do it again. Okay. I saw James Face when he said that he's like a pose

that has this effect with correct effect. Okay, he has a plus four in athletics. Let's see. Can we assume, sorry, can we just assume this a pose athletics check? It's kind of like a leg wrestle, you know, when people get on their bike and they're in the armrests.

It's a leg lock. Okay, so you're trying to toss the trident to moonshine. Yeah, dope. Okay, yeah you're trying to toss the trident to moonshine. Yeah. Dope. Okay. Yeah.

This is full contact tracking field. He's backing up like it's basketball, kind of watching your eyes seeing where you're going. So let's roll opposed athletics. What'd you get? 14. 14. Okay. He's got a plus for more lateral for him.

You throw the trident. No. It soars over grish his head he laughs lifts his hand up at the last second catches the edge of it spins it back around the trident do you got so many weapons that take yeah he's just now he's awkwardly holding the rapier and the dagger and the trident all hang on to say'm gonna be organized. I gotta do I'm gonna put the dagger on him. Fuck you. He's time out. Fuck you. I mean, he's totally doing that anime thing where he's got like a dagger in his mouth, right?

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he's doing. He's doing some he's full on one piece and then he's got and then he's got like a full on Javilan behind his ear. Oh, It's a very thin javelin. So then last turn of these three barbarians guys, can I use my bardic inspiration? He got a 23 so you couldn't have be, I rolled the 19. That's pretty good. So there were three barbarians up there with you, just the regular guys, they're going to run up and they're going to take swings on you. First guy is gonna hit. I'm so sorry that is going to be six damage. Two-two.

Second guy swings with a spear and he misses. Third guy swings with a spear and he hits for only two. Two damage. Hey, you do have one. I have a second win. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Down on the ground we've got two barbarians near moonshine. Yeah, come on. We're going to swing Ed moonshine. The first guy misses, second guy hits for four damage. Okay. That's fine. Once again, I take it like a champ. I ooze mushrooms and they think they're

making me stronger. Okay. When in fact, I'm just bleeding mushrooms. Okay, goddamn swamp chomp. Oh, ha ha ha. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured

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You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, Go team pants and enjoy the show. Okay, moon shine, that is you. Okay, well, my looking at pain the picture from me right now, you've got two barbarians up in your face, and you've got the whip guy who's who's looking pretty injured. Yeah, no, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna save, I'm gonna save some spores for him. And then I've also got he's not looking like he's on, spores might not kill him. I'll tip my hand. All right.

Uh-oh. Then I'm gonna take my flaming fiddle to his neck and say, you messed with the wrong crack bitch. And then I'm gonna walk on him. Cool. Does 15 hit. It does. Yeah, okay.

He is shirtless and oiled. Thank you, Morgan, baby. I like that if you had missed, you would have just been showing him your fiddle. Cool, right? Watch this. It's a fiddle. I hit him for six.

Six damage? Okay, now he's on death's door. And then I fucking lean in to deliver a most sensual, Shroom filled kiss. Oh please don't kiss me. I just saw you give birth to a pothole. He is so much tongue. I'm using so much tongue. Your tongue sprouts mushrooms that grow out of the back

of his throat and like a gunshot wound blows out the back of his Any falls over God everything you say and I say that guy was with Dope that is going to be okay, so pop-off is still out there. Let me see if he can find anyone. Okay. I'm so nervous about Pawpaw. Pawpaw's out and about. We don't know what's going on with Pawpaw. Oh, we didn't get distracted by food.

The barge still playing his fiddle is gonna turn to you, moonshine. It start really aggressively playing the fiddle in front of you. Say, we play like this. I swear on front of you Say what? You play like this I swear on my left I've heard a song like this back at the creek It double went down

I knew you would look for a full steel It would be as modias went down to the creek As modias went down to the creek Yeah, so you start playing as modias went down to the creek He was looking for a sold pick So give yourself an inspiration whenever you'd like to use it. That is going to be you, Bev. Bev, Bev, Bev.

All right. Is the horse back to normal? Since the Trident is. Oh, interesting. So the animals are not like focused. They're not being commanded by anyone, but they're still going buck wild. Like this horse is definitely still

like bucking around like crazy. I wanna try something. Of course you do. But what would just like rolled your two now? And then you can tell everyone what you wanted to try. I gotta get them to say. That would be like, I wanna try something. I would like to loudly say the green teen.

I rolled a nap 20. Now I'd like to attack this person I rolled a two Yeah, he always rolls really high on dumb shins. I rolled 20 on thinking fondly of mother No, I want to I have a really high animal handling I want to try and corral the horse so that I can run over so I can basically stampede the other barbarians Oh my god, I love this. All right cool. Okay, so this horse is going fucking ape shit. Yeah. Oh, okay.

What would it have to be? I'll say DC 20. Okay. To just like ride it. Just to ride, all right, cool. Just to ride it. I don't know that you're going to be able to like command it to do something. Okay, would I be using my anyl handle?

I'll tell you what, okay. So you've got these two barbarians that are still left that are near you guys. You've got this fucking horse. I'll say if you can get on the horse I'll just give you advantage on regular attacks because you're just like a whirlwind swinging around. Okay cool I'm gonna give it a go great The wild horse Beverly what do you say to moonshine as you go to the back of the tourist? I say, uh, fuck this.

And I say, it's the way. Young Bev, that is such a dynamite idea. You get your rear up on that head. I will. He yells, fuck this, hops up, Just gets kicked back down to the ground And yeah, you're still free to take your turn. Yeah, I'll still let you take an action I'll let you take an action and like half your movement. I don't want to attack somebody All right, am I taking damage for that? No, no, no, it was just for four. Okay. What's the name of the horse again? Bojang

Bojang no He's a proud beast, you know, honestly, I think even if his mind was right, you wouldn't be able to mount him. That's fair. All right. I'm a little disoriented. I've seen him ride another horse. He's got his own horse, Bojang.

That's why he's famous. The horse riding horse. Oh, I was a fool to think I could tame such a beast. Yeah, I guess I'll just slash it one of these barbarians. Cool. Yeah, there's two of them there. Cool. Another nine.

Oh, no. Does it mean that? But does it hit them? Dude, a freaking nat nine? Plus five, so that's 14. 14, that hits. All right, great. Yeah, these guys are a little winpies.

Come on, take a bitch. It's gonna be a 10. Whoo! 10. This dude is on a dead store. That's got to look cool. I just got hit by a horse. I like to think the horse The horse hits me and kicks me towards the barbarian. I spin around in the air and slice at him You're just you're almost past like that's what you intended Yeah, you're extremely can cost to Beverly has no recollection that he tried to ride the horse.

Yeah. He does Beverly have to roll for CTE. I definitely- You can get like three or four before you have to stop playing. So I'm going to mark down one. He's going to have to retire from the green team, if he gets kicked again in the head. That's one concussion.

Cool. Great. So that is going to be back up to the whip guy who is dead. Now it is. Yeah, I'm pretty honest. Garesha's turn. What are these days I'm going to do something cool and it's actually going to work? I like that move though.

That was a good idea. All right, next time. Denny and I like most of the ideas. And I am. You are a neighbor. So Garesha turns to you, hard one, and he goes, watch this. And you say that one more time. He spins the trident around, he spikes it into the roof of the end and pulls back out

his dagger and his rapier and he's just going to swing on ya. Ah, because that's how he knows how to do it. He doesn't know how to use the trident. I know, power of animals. He's weak, he's weak to animals. I hate dogs. I don't like cats or dogs. What did I make those be your last words? He swings the rapier and misses, he's gonna swing his dagger and he crits. Oh no. His watch this is good. Hard one, what's your HP growing? It's at 8 now.

Oh boy. Seven damage. Oh, that puts me need one big one, but I got second win. And she still has got one more attack with his dagger. Oh no. And he hits with his dagger. That's fine. We can, we'll have to cure him. Yeah. That is going to be five days. We should get up on that roof anyways. Yeah, so hard one drops. Do we hear this? Do we see this? Hard one. Do you let out any kind of motor or anything? I'd like to go down completely stoic, silent, but when I fall, I do fart. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know that cool move where it's like raining and you just go to both your knees, your eyes are a little dazed. You look around, you hear the fiddle, but you see like your friends getting fucked up.

And then I go face the thaves first with a tiny little burst of gas. Is it like a real high pitch squeaker? You know? You guys hear this? Amits the rain and the thunder and the white paint. Can it be so high pitch? I I want to be so high pitch the parklaw here is the only Beverly can hear it because he's so young. It doesn't register for moonshine. The green teens are all they all have nose

bleeds. Erlin, Derlin and Krann. Erlin, they come rushing in and they lay hands you. So that's just a stress fart. Oh, no. So, hard one goes down, greshes up there with three of these other barbarians and they've got the trident. So, now it is the barbarians that are on the ground. So, there's one that is so hurt

and one that is next to you, moonshine, or both of them are next to you. So, they're both gonna swing on Moon Shine. Even the one I just got hit by Bev? Yes. Dang. They both miss. Power night party.

Ha ha ha ha! That is going to take us to the bard who is still playing on the fiddle so hard. What's the bard's name? The bard, you never asked his name. Okay. You asked that right now after getting kicked in the head. You're just think, just think you're just

in meeting this party the best. That's really nice violin. Oh, my name's Rusty. Nice to meet you, kid. Nice to meet you too. I think that that horse hit me in the head. Tell you what, how about I play a little something I was going to play for the jamboreoreen. Oh the jamboreen. He starts playing a jamboreen Palore tune. Oh, I knew it wasn't canceled So you get a D6 of inspiration. Hell yeah in your concuss state. Do you think this is the jamboreen now? I absolutely I think this is the jamboreen opening diddy that I'm hearing oh shit I fucked up. Okay, so then the three guys that are up there with garage the three those three guys are going to Run over to the side of the roof and they're gonna hook spears down at

Beverly Nice actually no, you know what they're gonna hook spears at the fucking bar because they see he's up to something Mm-hmm, so as he's playing this fiddle. Oh Wait shit, can I yeah, I hop up and try and like block any of these no, you can't I need to prepare a reaction. Can I throw oh no you're right guys? Bard just got hit no what rusty okay? You just met him even with all the dancing even with all the dancing he was hit so he was just hit for four damage Okay, he's still thin. He's still fiddling. He's like the Titanic

But I want to no No, let me die of the Bard Survive. Haha. Second guy hits him for six. You see the spear come down, hits him in the chest and goes, oh! That's it. He were together one last time. Oh no! And he falls over and the fiddle stops. No!

No! And there's a boom of thunder. You just hear the rain. Bill the air, you just hear the rain. So this other guy is now gonna huck his spear down at Beverly. See, now this was feeling fun, but now it got real. And he's gonna hit Beverly for five damage. Okay, I remember, I definitely did get hit by a horse.

Right. That's coming into focus on the way. Suddenly a very sobering moment for Beverly. It's really convenient. Mochana. Have you gone yet? No, okay, it's it's actually your turn. Okay, I would like to so I've got two guys around me, right? One is pretty hurt. Yes one is super super hurt if I could I attack one and then use my movement to try to climb the roof? I attack one and then use my movement to try to climb the roof. Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Seven and gonna hit is a seven isn't gonna hit well then I'm gonna spores him for six cool finish him He's dead, okay, um I'm gonna like take a bunch of spores out of my mouth like it's like dip And be like yo you gotta try this it's all the rage and then put it in his lip Oh, all right, it actually tastes pretty good. Oh wait. I'm seeing stuff. I'm seeing purple

I'm seeing red of seeing colors. Oh, oh god, I'm seeing stuff, I'm seeing purple, I'm seeing red, I'm seeing colors, oh god it's getting bigger. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, God. That's the colors of mortality. All of the warriors are barbarians are from Massachusetts, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm gonna let the other guy get, I'm guessing he'll get an attack of opportunity on me. If you're gonna run, yeah.

Uh, okay. Okay. I'm gonna have to go for it. Okay. And I'm gonna- So he's gonna roll to hit you and he hits fucker. For five damage. Okay. I'm going to have to go for it. Okay. And I'm going to. So he's going to roll to hit you and he hits fucker for five damage. Okay. And then I'm going to run to try to climb the roof to get to hard one.

Don't. Give me an athletics check. I'm going to say since you've already taken an action and everything, I'm going to say DC20 athletics check to get up there. Hmm. Do you all think that God could pack a lip so big that even he would get a buzz? DC 20 athletics check to get up there. You all think that God could pack a lip so big that even he would get a buzz? I couldn't even with bardic inspiration. Okay, I got a 12, I'm gonna say my bardic inspiration.

Okay, that's okay. It'll make it easier for you to get up there next turn. So I'm gonna say that you're kind of hanging up there. So you'll have a very easy climb check to get up and you'll still be able to use your action and everything. Sweet, not with some kind, like get up. You're like hanging off the gut. I'm like a get up and you'll still be able to use your action and everything. Sweet, I'm going to climb like a get-go. So I'm like, hang it off the gut. I'm like a get-go on the wall, yeah.

It's full of leaves. Miss格 rarely gets up there to clean it. She hasn't cleaned the gullies for a long time. I'm like, this is currency where I come from. I'm stuffing it in my pockets. Cool, so hang, damn, leave. Very inflated. Just leave them out here.

Bev, that's bad economy. Bev, that's going to be you. There are birds going nuts in the sky. There's this horse that is bucking like crazy and then there is this one barbarian in front of you and the three up on the roof. Okay. And this bar is laying there with a spear and his chest. I want to, I think I got to get up on the roof. I'm wondering what if I used my vine spell to like propel me upwards? It's only a DC like 15 to get up. Maybe I'll just try and climb. Yeah, you could just climb. All right, I'm gonna do that. Okay Just know that I could have done something cool and it would have gone really well. All right

My god If boy got a two The two crew two Two legit two crew. Two two couture. Um, couture. Well, that's gotta be a seven. I remain on the ground. A seven.

Yeah, you start to. You still have an action though, right? Yeah, yeah, you start to scramble up. You kind of lose your footing and pop back down. I'm gonna say your movement is done, but if you want to throw a javelin or something something at this other dude you can do that. I for sure want to throw a javelin. Cool. Okay. So do you want to throw it up on one of the guys on the roof or do you want to throw it at the guy that's going head to head with me? I should probably throw up on the roof because that's where I'm headed. Yeah, throw to throw. What a garage. I'm gonna throw it at garage for sure.

Garage is probably gonna be kind of hard to hit because he's like he was never hanging over the side of the roof. He's kind of in the middle of the roof. Okay. The barbarians were standing over the edge, throwing down onto people, so they're popping out, you're right up against the building, you're gonna have a hard time hitting somebody who's back. I'll just aim for the person that's best in my eye line. Don't go.

Oh, Jesus fuck you. Is that it, too? James T! You fucked me with these dice! You got another two? I got another two. Oh my goodness. The two crew.

Ah, the two crew. The prophecy of the two crew has come true. You're still a little concussed. All right, yeah. Go to throw the javelin. It goes straight up and straight back down. You have to move out of the way to knock it. Just to lose your javelin.

It could have been worse. Yeah, you didn't lose it. All right, yeah. Javelin retained. could have been worse. He didn't lose it. All right, yeah. Javelin retained. All right, cool turn, cool turn. Cool. So that is going to be, Wimmer, does the horse get a chaos turn

where they can try and trample this barbarian? Sure you have a head. OK, yeah, I'll say now that it is garesh's turn, I will say on garesh's turn that the horse will try to get its wits back about it. He does not. He's still going nuts. I'll do the same thing. I'll let the raven. The horse riding horse. I'll let the raven's roll a save. They are also still fucked up by Gresh's riding horse. He can make a meal. That's right. He knows how to cook and his heart. He will steal Cool, so

Gresh is going to what is our boy going to do? You know what he is going to he's gonna ready an action Oh big man ready an action. That is going to be you hard one. Give me a death saving throw. That's a 10. That's a pass actually. That's exactly what you needed. So that's one success for hard one shorefoot up there alone with all these barbarians. Hard one shorefoot faster to the mountain. The often dead. Yeah, yeah. The often dead is really fun.

What only out loud is it now the four times dead? Oh yeah, I think it's four. Yeah, we're gonna have to change that to just off. Yeah, we'll call it off because it's just off dead. It's too many to count. It's too many to count. Okay, that is going to be the barbarians. So this one that was down on the ground

is gonna go back, run back and try to hit you, Bev. And he is going to, does a 16 hit? Nope, don't. Oh, I'm afraid of you. He misses, he move out of the way you hide behind your javelin that's sticking out of him. He's just sort of, he's trying to chase you around. It's kind of funny. What I do is again. You were your helmet on the javelin, so taking a home. He's just sort of, he's trying to chase you around, it's kind of funny. You were your helmet on the javelin so he thinks that it's you.

He just starts swinging down on the javelin. Then these other three guys that were up on the roof are going to, oh, moonshine, you're hanging off the roof. Okay, give me an acrobatics check. I'm going to say they're gonna get advantage and they're gonna try to throw you off the roof. I'm rolling like crap. What'd you do to our dice, Murr? These are weighted fucking dice. Yeah. You wait a minute. Hold on, this address looks familiar. You sent us these dice. I guess. This was my plan all along for the show to be unexciting for you guys to always roll poorly.

Um, I got a six. These guys got like a 10-6. Okay, okay, so I'm not gonna use my gun. So this first guy digs his nails into your hand like scar. Oh. From the Lion King. And he whispers in your ear, I killed that bored guy.

And he throws you back and you hit the ground for five damage. Moonshine screams, I know! I know we were all there! I think you're gonna have to heal hard one because I'm down to three and I'm thinking I'm gonna have to cure myself. Okay, cool. Yeah, I'm on it. Okay, these other two guys now with moonshine on the ground They're just gonna throw spears at her. Yeah, but guess what? I get 17 AC because I got my shield. Yeah, the spears count as a projectile. Yep. Yep.

Yep, nice. You're absolutely right. 17 AC. So moonshine falls on the ground, pulls out her shield, and tries to hide behind it. Just a cowardly mushroom. One goes right into the shield. Second one goes right into the shield. You now have a cool ass shield with two spears. I peek from behind my shield and I say,

he just couldn't keep up, could you boys? I say, hey, save me those spears. I'm running low on javilins Cool so I'm gonna roll for boy Papa oh Yeah, it's only been it's only been a few rounds it takes people a while to you know run that far But boy is good little scramble boy Easily distracted and easily distracted scramble boy run that far. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good.

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But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good. But, boy is good's not my turn right now. Yeah, it is your turn. Okay. So first of all, I would like to try to contact my fungal network and see if I can see where POP is. Oh, sure, is that actually?

Okay. I mean, mushrooms work like a network. This is insane. Give me a raw wisdom check. Just let her log into America online mushroom addition, idiot. just got eleven you got an eleven pa pa is still alive you know that you can feel that oh that's not heartening you can feel your baby boys scrambling little hearts still beaten okay you hear it's it's going it's going super fast faster than normal. So we don't know what's going on. Be safe.

Moonshine it is. It is your turn to do your stuff. Send him out on a solo mission. Okay so I shout out to Beverly. I gotta take care of me. I gotta do some self-care. So hard one is all yours. And I think I'm gonna have to cure wounds myself. Cool, cool. For a good nine. Then I'm gonna try to jump onto myself. Cool, cool. For nine. Then I'm gonna try to jump onto the roof again. Okay, DC tend to just get up there and not do an action or anything. Oh, I got an eight and I didn't use my bardic inspiration.

Would you like to use your bardic inspiration and see if you made it up there? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you want to do that? Oh, don't care. Cool. Moonshine scrambles up. Moonshine, you're now on the roof. Yeah. Do you want to do that? Don't care. Moonshine scrambles up. Moonshine, you're now on the roof.

Yeah, and I crouch beneath my shield. Because I'm scared that we... These guys just keep pumbling on the shield. Cool, that is you, Bev. Alright, yeah, I'm going to scramble as well. Okay, get all in up this roof. Everybody's going on the roof. What did you get?

You've got a party, you've got a party. I got four athletics is five. That's a nine. That's a nine. Yeah, I guess I'll use my Barty Gensperation, right? Oh, man, if you roll a six, you'll be able to do an action. Another four. Two fours. Okay, so what? Two fours for this world. You get up there. You notice as you're climbing up, you hear a Mishka war cry, and a bunch of barbarians yelling, and then you hear the clashing of steel, and then silence. Uh-oh, as you climb up. So you get back up under the roof. Oh my god, we need to go. I don't even have any healing spells left. Okay, that is, oh wait, Beth, yeah.

As you climb up there, sorry, moonshine. As you climbed up there, Gresh picks up the trident and goes to try to throw it into your chest. Oh God. That was his ready action. In into, because moonshine was the first thing I was gonna be in for some reason. But I'm gonna projectile, so I'm a 17- That is gonna be. In into. Oh my God. Because moonshine was the first to eat for some food. But it's gonna be a button projectile, so I'm 17.

That is gonna be a projectile. And if you know if this thing just fucking sticks in the shield, then that's your fault. That's right. Yeah, then I can grab it. Okay, let's see what happens here. So moonshine, you are at how much HP? 12.

12 HP. Okay. He's probably going to be able to do that much damage, but only if he hits and you need to roll up. 17 AC. 17 AC. Okay. So you climb up.

First thing you see is Gresh laughing, and he says, watch this. Hey, when he says that. Spins the tried in around. He's so good when he does. Toss is it at you. Really works for him. I swear to God, he just crit.

Oh no! You can come over and look at the. I swear to God, he just crit. Oh no! You can come over and look at the dice if you like, but he just crit. I trust you. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. It's a little too dramatic for him to crit right now, but he just crit. Oh, damn it.

That's all right. That's a lot. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay. So 13 damage. Um, so 13 damage no down the dry dance strikes moonshine in the chest and she falls off the roof Well the good news is Well, the trance in my chest She does have the trident. She doesn't have the trident. It is in your chest jokes on you. We got the trident

Mission accomplished. Oh, wait fuck turn back into a normal woman. Yeah. Oh my my god so dramatic moonshine struck in the chest she turns back into a normal woman and all spack hot I was off the roof and regrets all right you are on the ground and that is you Beverly you young babe. That is you Beverly. Let's go Beth. Okay, um hard one's still down. Uh hard one's down on the roof. You are on the roof. Yeah. You have used your turn to climb up on the roof. I can say since we did these turns kind of out of order because I fucked up the reaction, you can say that you never climbed up if you'd rather be down with moonshine on the ground. Um That seems dishonest. I was planning to climb up.

I think it's good that you get hurt. I see moonshine like fall to the ground like, moonshine! And I say, save hard one. Alright, that's so heroic. I think I get up on the roof. I'm going to start trying to make my way to hard one. Where is hard one in relation to me and the barbarians and Gresh? So there were three barbarians kind of hanging off the side there, throwing spears.

You could easily go over to the side so they don't get opportunity attacks because it's a pretty big roof. Gresh is kind of in the middle of the roof where he just speared moonshine. You can also easily get to hard ones. I want to provoke an opportunity attack. Yeah, I think I want to rush to hard one and I wanna, without provoking opportunity attack. Yeah, I think I wanna rush to hard one and do touch hands. I hate waking up hearing that. But you always just hear, hey, although Beverly is kind of grizzled and bad at it,

so I'm sure he's just like, yeah, yeah, Beverly, how do you touch hands? Here's what I do. I lift my hands in the air. I cross them into an X. Ha ha ha. I say, by Pellor's mercy, by his great and masculine beard, I lay upon my hands.

And all I hear is hands. Ha ha ha ha ha. See, he's just doing it. Yeah, he's just isn't paying attention. And he's just quietly going, yes, yes, yes, just to himself after javelining moonshine. Yeah. Cool.

So you want to use all 15 HP, I assume? Great. I'm a Turk Miss. You want to use all 15 of your HP from the lay hands that I give to... Yes I do. Great. You pop back up with 15 HP hard one. Right.

So that is going to be Gresh's turn. So Gresh is going to run over to Beverly and say, Oh, you're doing talking about touching hands. What was that? It's what the green teens do best! He's gonna hit with his rapier. Does it hit? For 11 damage. Oh, neat.

Wow. What did I put you back? That puts me at 7. No. He swings with his dagger. He hits with his dagger. Uh-oh. That is four, another four damage, and then he's going to swing one more time with his dagger.

And he misses with his dagger. You know I have an 18 AC, right? Yeah, he rolled an 18. Jesus, on the first day. We're switching dice after this. Yeah, yeah. I'm literally using this. He missed twice? Yeah, okay. He rolled an 18. Jesus, on the first day. We're switching dice after this. I'm literally using it. He missed twice. We appreciate it once.

Yeah, we appreciate the gifts, but we're burning the dice. That's the first time he's ever hit with his rapier. So, you know, you're not completely cursed. That puts me at 3HP. Okay, that's you hard to believe. Yeah, but I literally never hit once. Oh, I hit once this thing. Yeah I guess I'm just yeah, I'm gonna whisper to the bed watch this That's my line

That's a 23 Oh! Just took me a second to do the math. That was, I was out of the chart dramatic of the act. Getting into the static. It's my bad math, just like makes this automatic dramatic. Yeah. And that is a 14. 14 damage?

Yeah. Can I use my bardic inspiration now? On the damage? Can you do it on a damage role? No, you can't. No, you can't, okay. It's only on abilities and attacks. Okay, 14.

14. 14. Pretty good? Do you want to use your second win or anything? Oh, it's up to you. Yeah, I'm going to use my second win, so don't get it. Yeah, you have to not should. Go ahead and roll your D10.

Five? Five plus your fighter level, which is three. So eight. So you get eight HP back. Nice. What are you at? That puts me at 23. Great. That's a good thing. So you're back up. Now the barbarians are going to go.

So jealous. There was one that was on the ground, but the only person down there now is Moonshine, and she's knocked out, so he's going to run up and try to climb up. And I have beautiful corpse. He comments on that. The mushrooms in the ground, like, sympathetically surround me and so forth. They can always do like a bed rises. A bed of mushrooms is right underneath you. What is actually happening is that the animals are surrounding you. Oh, really?

Oh, because of the jack-and-hand. A bear has wandered out. There's a couple deer, the horse is the riding horse. The bear still has the Indian as teeth. No, it's a different bear the horse the riding horse and then he and his teeth. No, it's a different bear. New bear, new bear. So they're kind of surrounding moonshine there down on the ground.

Even both jangles. Even both jangles is there. Is he riding a horse? Is he riding his own horse? No. Okay. Okay, so the one guy is gonna make a climb check to try to get up.

And he gets up but he's going to be able to do anything that turn. He didn't succeed wildly. The other three guys, I guess, are going to rush in and try to take out Beverly because he's so hurt. Wish they wouldn't. But first guy swings any misses, second guy swings. And that's an 18 to hit.

I have 18. So that does hit. That does hit. Six damage. hit? I have 18. So that does hit. That does hit. Six damage. Oh, I'm down. That goes down. Beves down. Beves down, everybody.

So just hard one and all these guys. So this last guy is going to take a swing on you hard one, and he misses. Nice. So then that is going to be you, moonshine. So first give me a death saving throw. Six. Six?

One death for moonshine. Hard one. You are the only one who is still standing. On moonshine's turn, you look up into the sky and you see an eagle with paw paw. Oh, what? And he's going nuts. He's going ape shit.

This eagle lands with paw paw. Plops paw paw down near moonshine. Lands turns into a centaur. But. Oh, thank god. I thought paw paw had been caught. Turns into a centaur. This big dude with, he's got like antlers,

he's like a deer person. Oh, that's so fucking cool. He's so majestic, he has- What are his pecs look? He has a macula, just a macula. He's got long hair, he's got like flowers in his antlers and stuff. Pop-O goes up on his shoulders and starts licking his face. And he's gonna cast a level three cure wounds on Moonshot.

Nice! Hold on. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You go up for 20. Guys, this is the horse that Bojangles rides. Oh my goodness, that's a roller coaster. I went from being like,

Papa's been caught. Our only chance for salvation is flying off into the night to get eaten by baby. I love the gorilla, you're lying dead. You just rolled a six on your death savings roll. All you can think about is just pop us out. That's hospital, that's it. That is fucking hospitality.

Your selfless to the end. Oh my goodness. So moonshine, you don't get your turn, but you pop up at the end of your turn. You're surrounded by animals, pop-off jumps. I think that I definitely immediately think this centaur is Melora. Melora?

No. Melora. No, no. Melora? No, no, no Malorow No, my my name is pator Try again my name is pator Pantry Pantry pator just just call me peter, okay?

Just call me peter. Petry. Just call me God dammit. Why did I bring you it. Why did I bring you back? Why did I bring you back? Bop-Bop jumps off his shoulder and jumps onto you. Are you taking the trident out or right now you're just standing up, trident sticking out of your chest? Could you take that out please? Would you mind, you're making me uncomfortable.

This is strange. Will you take it out for me, Peter? Sure. So, Peter takes the trident out of your chest. He handed to you, and all the animals are surrounding you. That takes us to you, Beverly. Got to do a saving roll. Yes, you got to do a desivine throw.

Yeah, because I'm dead. You dead, dude. Because you killed a child. How does that feel, Murr? Don't roll it too. Roll a wand. You dead, dude. Because you killed a child. How does that feel, Murr? Don't roll it, too. Roll a wand. That's a 19. Ooh! Okay, that's one victory.

Okay, that takes us up. Sorry, I just got to write down Peter's name. Pieter. Or Pieter. Pieter. Whatever you don't like to call it. You're just the antler man who brought you back alive. Yeah, you just saved him.

And then Pieter. He just saved your life. And you can't do him the solid of saying his name, how he wants it to be said. She's trying. She just can't pronounce it right. She's never met a Peter before, but she's known a lot of Petry. He's a Pater.

She's known Pater or Peter, but she knows like five Petry, so she keeps fucking up. That is going to be Gresh. Suddenly from the sky another Centaur appears. Another Centaur shows up with another possum. The possum was early in the whole time. Gresh takes a swing, misses with his rapier, swings with his dagger, hits with his dagger, four, seven damage. Oh. Another swing with his dagger, misses. And that is going to be you, hard one.

Nice. I guess I'm gonna say you aren't allowed to ever say watch this again. Oh yeah. 19. 19, that hits. Nice. Consider it watched. 14. 14, that hits. Consider it watched. 14.

14 damage Jesus. This is so awesome if you kill them. You slash them so hard across his chest and he just flexes at you and says, bring it bro. Oh god, I want to kind of like this though. And that takes us to the barbarians. The barbarians surround you. There are now four end garrosh still on the roof.

So they surround you. So first guy, swings, misses, second guy swings, misses, third guy, swings, fucking misses. They all rolled under a tan. They all fucking missed. So it turns out they didn't even need the cloak. They watched it. That is you, moonshine.

Okay, I was going to throw this back into, I was going to try and javillon it back into the bay, but right now I have no spells and I have no wild shapes, so I think my best option is to try to wield this. So I would like to hold the tried in. Okay. And with the raw primal energy of melora channeled the idea of killing the ponytails and bringing the ponytails to me. Don't. Sick. Into the trident.

Oh man. And then just like into the sky. Do you know what? Do you know what? Give me a spell attack roll with advantage. I like the thing that when you do this, the blood on the trident starts blooming into mushrooms. Ooh. Um, already got a 20. blood on the trident starts blooming into mushrooms. Ooh.

Already got a 20. Dove. Got a 19 so then that becomes a 24. Nice 24 dose. Yes. Okay, we needed that shit. Hey, y'all are welcome. Needed that shit?

Oh. I went ahead and absorbed all the twos for the episode. Y'all are very welcome about that. Okay, so you see, so you've got this, you've got a bear there, you've got the riding horse, you've got all of these ravens and you've got a couple deer. You see the deer? The ponytails and bring their ponytails to me.

Yeah. Yeah. You see all of the animals that can't climb, rush into the bar, and you don't know what's going on. You just hear ripping. And the ravens fly up, and they're going to go after one of the barbarians. Yes. And they miss.

One of the barbarians throws his cloak up and blocks. A little bit of that, you can also, so as a bonus action, you can command the things, but as an action, you can try to bring in a new animal. So do you wanna try to get like an owl or another thing of Ravens or something like that? I wanna get, I wanna, I want something flying. It depends on what's around. So you want to look for something flying,

I'll roll to see what's up there. I wanna look at something flying. Owl again, do you wanna try to grow up. Y'all. Oh, they're so regal. Yeah, I'm gonna tell that. Okay, he's gonna what is your what is your spell save DC? My spell save DC is 13. Okay. He fails. You got that owl. Okay, so the owl feels dirty though to do that to an owl. I'm like manipulating him. Y'all would want to help the village. I'm also gonna make a dope meal for all the animals that help us at the end if we survive. The flesh of the ponytail, man. That's what P8ter says to you.

Don't worry, we'll make a dope meal for the village. Thank you, P3. P8ter. I saved your life. I saved your life. P8ter. You're a life life. P8ter.

The owl comes down and swings. I saved your life. I saved. You were like, I saved. You were like, I saved. You were like, I saved. The owl comes down and swings. And he actually does claw this dude. He claws this dude for only two damage. They do very little damage. Probably pretty annoying though. Oh, he's super annoying. Yeah, I love it.

And now this is the last thing I expect you today. Oh. Okay, that is going to be, oh, that is actually P.A.T.R. P.A.T.R. P.A.T.R. Never thought of how a centaur would climb a building. It'd probably be pretty tough for him, huh? I think one. I put it out. It's like a wall nearby. I put out my hands in like a little... Okay, you want to give him a boost? I'm going to say a DC-20 athletics check for P.A.T.R. to get up. Um, no, he doesn't. B.A.T.E. goes, thank you.

I will now save your friends. Any of us that jump up, he is so heavy. He weighs like a ton. He just immediately kicks through your hand and slams down into the ground in front of you. Oh right, I'm a centaur. I was asking, P.A.T.E.T.E.E.T.E. You didn't want to turn into an eagle for a second.

Well, I've already used my wild, all of my wild shapes for the day. Got it. Never got it. Yeah. Y'all I've been there. I've been there. I know what you're saying, Pater. You know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw another cure wounds at you. How about that? Oh my God. It's like flirting with me. You get healed for seven. Oh, I'm at full. Thank you for my tree. Well, my name's Pater. Yeah. I'm a fan of the game. You get healed for seven. Oh, I'm at full. Thank you for my tree.

My name's PA Tour. Yeah. That's what I'm saying, isn't it? That is you, Bev. Let's keep saving. What's your role? My role to one. Oh, wait.

Lucky. Oh, you look like you're a little happy. Oh, wow. So you, yeah, interesting. Yeah, I get to your role. Yeah. If I had role to one and wasn't a half wing what would have happened just two two fails? Oh, okay cool, but oh two fails and one two fails shit. All right cool

That's a 17 17 guys all right another victory for our boy Beverly you boys gonna stable us now It is garretches turn garret swing at hard one watch this Any hits fuck that with the rapier 10 oh well is Gresh's turn. Gresh swings at hard one. Watch this. And he hits. Fuck that with the rate of your 10. Oh wow. That fucks me right up. The battle for the catch phrase. Swings again.

He misses with the dagger. And he swings again with the dagger. And he misses. Nice. What do you at? Seven. Okay. That's you hard one.

I gotta just finish off Gresh. Yeah. He's still looking all. Yeah he's not looking that bad. Cool. I watched I watched that. Now you watch this. Another 19. Nice. Holy shit. Ooh one but I get to reroll that. Cool. Ah! Eight. Eight. Nope. He starts bleeding, but it gets infected, so he falls to the ground. He looks pretty annoyed now. He's pretty hurt. He sees that so strong.

He sees that like the animal shit has kind of calmed down. He hears a horse trying to get up onto the roof from where he's standing. It sounds like a horse is just trying to jump up. So he's actually looking a little worried. He's not looking quite as confident as he was. Just to himself saying, watch this. Watch this. Watch this. You can do this. You can do this. Cool. That is going to be the other barbarians. To a bystander, it must look like hard one and Garesha just saying, watch this to each other. Yeah, over and over again. Yeah, oh yeah, this is all happening so quick. Yep, so that is blusher, blusher, blusher.

So that is going to be the other barbarians. They are going to swing at you, hard one. First one, misses. Second one hits for five damage. Oh, good. Third one, misses. Fourth one, misses. Oh, these guys are freaking weeners. Yeah, well

I'm pretty weaned right now. Weaned up dude. Yeah, you get smacked by enough weeners You're gonna die. That is you moonshine. Okay, I want to I want to try to climb. I'll say that Be a Turk and help you up because you feel so useless. Oh Yeah, I want to try and climb up. Make a climb check with advantage. Okay. Oh, there we go. Okay.

20. Don't. Scramble right up there. Okay. Using his horns. Oh, this hurts me. I want to read in action to help Pieter. Or I guess maybe there's nothing really else to do.

All the animals have been commanded. I'll try to call another Can I read in action to help a pater get up? You also oh you don't have any more spells. You can't help these guys I am gonna halo sport that's a bone that's a reaction so I just read in action to help I'm gonna spores I'm gonna spores his garage for three. Okay, you are about a regular woman. I say I say watch this and I'm doing it right. What you are. Why does everyone say this now? This is the thing that all of us say. He started it. I've been saying it. I heard somebody okay technically somebody at the bar was saying it. They said that

some guy came in and kept saying watch this this, so I was like, that should be my thing. That should be mine. We have to kill him. He don't like that. OK, now it is P.H.R.'s turn. He's going to try to get up, even with advantage. Oh, OK. Oh, he gets up.

It's really labored. It is really labored. He's holding onto you with both hands. He's super buff, but he's using all of her body as his like boobs are just kicking off the side And he gets to the top and he will cast your wounds would be pretty tight. Okay, he'll cast cure wounds on Beth. Yeah You got your little amulet too. Oh, yeah, you could use that on yourself Not probably not all right He'll do for eleven do we do we know what that that does you don't you don't use it oh yeah all right thank you for reminding

me about that I got an idea for one it's my turn okay so it is actually okay yes so that was moonshine pator that is you Bev so wait how much hp do I have no eleven eleven okay you're a shit. That's great. 11. Alright, yeah, fuck. I feel like I'm so grateful to be back up. I say thank you. What's your name, sir? My name is Pieter. Pieter, am I saying that right? That is absolutely correct. I know so much for you. Do you have your linguistics bad? Because I will give it to you. I'm working on it. I need you to sign some paperwork after this pater. I will do that. I will do that for you.

Hard one not. I'll sign off on it. I bow deeply to pater. OK. I think I'm going to offer up a quick prayer to Palore for allowing me to rejoin the fray. OK. And I want to grab my amulet and see if,

because I know it is a holy relic. I want to grab my amulet and see if I can do is a holy relic I want to grab my amulet and see if I can see if it does anything. Oh boy You pull out that amulet. Yeah, and it is glowing white Bev here is what the amulet does. Oh My gosh, I've just been handed a no card That's extremely much shit. Okay, here we go. The all is amulet You or any ally who can see the amulet may use a bonus action to do a healing surge. Expand up to half your hit dice.

For each hit dice spent this way, roll the die and add your constitution modifier. You regain those hit points. Use once between every rest. Oh, okay. Shit. Each person can use it once. So if you use it now, you can't use it again until you take another every rest. Oh, okay. Shit, what each person can use it once. So if Beverly, if you use it now, you can't use it again until you take another short rest.

But, so that's a key. That's a key. I could use it on hard one. No, you can only use it on yourself. Oh, you like it. You're drawing inspiration from the amulets. Okay, cool. And you kind of get to second-wind yourself.

I got you. All right, here's what I'm gonna do. So I'm back up. Pieter has been properly thanked. Gracius Pieter. So, I'm back up. Pieter has been properly thanked. Gracius Pieter. So I'm going to turn to Gresh. I pull out my sword and I say, watch this is our thing. And I ensnaring strike him.

Don't. Take a swing. Cool. That's 14 plus 5. 19, that hits. Yeah, all right. What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike?

What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too?

What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? What is this engineering strike, too? impact, and the target must succeed on a strength saving throw or be restrained by the magical vines until the spell ends.

Hell yeah! A large or larger creature has advantage on the saving throw, if the target succeeds on the save the vines travel away. While restrained by this spell, the target takes 1d6 piercing damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature restrained by the vines, or one that can touch the creature, can use its action to make a strength check Against your spell save DC on success the target is freed. Okay great

So do you also do your regular sword damage on top of that? Yeah, it happens after the damage roll your sword damage That's gonna be He just rolled a two on his save so he definitely didn't save Oh So I got a one plus that's six damage six damage. Okay, slash this dude. Garesha's starting to look pretty fucked up, but he kind of laughs at your little weener hit and he doesn't notice that mine sprout up from underneath him and grab him by the arms. As he's like flexing against to trying to get out. As this

happens, I say, may the wriggling hands of Pellor hold you in an eternal embrace. Fiator just starts you goes like, oh man, kid, don't say wriggling. You're right, squirming. On my turn, were the animals supposed to attack? Were the birds supposed to attack on my turn? Oh shit, yeah, okay, so the birds come down, they'll, oh my god. Wait, wait, wait, what? That can happen, but I do want to take a bonus action to heal myself. Do it up. Okay, cool. You're right. We miss the birds the birds go down

They are actually gonna hit one of the the barbarian that was the most hurt the birds fucking pack this dude to death And he dies a horrible death He gets his throat pecked out like resident evil just crazy fucking crow's death from above He looks like his body went through like a cheese grater. Oh, come on. Do you think there's a bird nerd out there that got super upset that I just compared a rave into a crow?

Well, they're both corvids, so it's all perfect. I'm only a nerd what's here in the room with them. I have my bird badge. The bird nerds officially have decided to let it fly. That is good fun work. Okay, wait for, so for hit dice, I can expend as much of it as I want. Half, so only, so at level three, just one hit die.

So do I roll it, and then add that in your con modifier, and that's your hill. Five HB. You get five HB back. I will take it. Cool. Then on Garesha's turn, can he get out of this? He needs to do a strength check to beat your like spell save DC. Well, he's going to take 1d6. Yeah, he takes 1d6.

Waller was strained by the spell. Yeah, he's right, fucked up. It's also it's piercing damage. So, oh, he's so pierced. I just want to tell Garesha, I never would have let the vines grow on me, man. See, frothing at the mouth. He doesn't even try to get out. He's just gonna swing with disadvantage, like a mad man at hard one. Fuck it. Oh.

He misses with his rapier, and he misses with his dagger the first time, and he misses with a dagger the second time. Just swinging at you frothing. The vines wouldn't have got me. The vines are pulling in fast. You can put it by a vine, that's lame man. It's a spell.. You're being killed by a vine. That's lame, man. It's a spell.

That's a spell. It's a magic spell. It's a magic spell. They're not breaking the ball. They're killing by a vine. I'm not getting killed by a vine. Dude, I mean, even getting killed by a gardener would be more honorable there.

You're getting killed by the garden. That is going to be you, hard one. Yeah, cool. You have advantage on this swing against him because he's fined up. Oh, shit. I was like, hey, I don't think Michigan wants a tree growing out of roof.

I'm going to chop it down. So I'm going to swing the grade X at his ankles. Great. That's a 19. That's a fucking hard one, Chris. Oh my god. Roll your damage. The damage will be like, I roll 2d, you roll 2d12s.

Three. Three. So, 12. 12 damage. Yeah. Hard one. Finish him. Yes! Three so 12 12 damage yeah, yeah Hard one finish him. Yes Oh Good

Good God, what do I want to do here? I'm gonna to can I just take out my two throwing axes? Oh my brand new throwing axes. Yeah Sheer the plant. I'm just gonna sheer share the plant from the bottom to the top. It's been a little extra long right on the crotch right there. Oh yeah. I'm here. I'm gonna plant. I'm gonna groom this into a plant that's just like garage. Are you making it a human topiary? Yes that's right and then I'm just gonna flick his jugular and let him bleed out over covering the plant. It is called Jesus Christ.

Oh, dad is a brutal topiary. Gresh fucking dies. It is now the barbarians turn it. So these guys are going to just fucking disengage and turn tail and run. Damn, right. These barbarians are fucking gone. I'm still sicking.

I'm still sicking all the animals on them. Yeah, okay sick. I'm still sick. Oh shit. Yeah. Okay. Oh my god. Still the bear. Holy shit. They jump off the roof. The bear. Oh yeah. Yeah. No. They jump off the roof. You see they're out. They're starting to like outrun the birds. Like one of them is getting pecked by the Ravens. But the other guys are making it. You see the fucking bear and all of the deer and shit run out of the tavern and just start mauling these guys. Just horrible sounds. Wait, Murf, just scream me their tails.

Does Bojangles try to ride one of them? Bojangles is just furiously bucking one of them. See Bojangles cold-blooded kills one. Kicks them in the head, eyes go dead. Bojangles over. Please ride on a passing horse and die at someone down. Bojangles hoists one of the dead bodies up on his back and rides him around taunting the other barbarians with a dead man on his back.

Oh shit, it's the mayor! Fuck it! Of course, these barbarians are dead. But for re-election. All the barbarians are dead for reelection All the barbarians are dead so you guys are on top of this roof It is pouring rain you guys are all up there surrounded by bodies this fucking gruesome scene I would like to jump off the roof run and dive into the water and Stick the

Trident back at the bay restore the bay We're storing the bay. I got to run into the bar and stick the trident back at the bay. Restore the bay. Restore the bay. I gotta go and run into the bar and see, wait, is Mishka still in the bar? We gotta find out. Oh shit, let's go into the bar. Yeah, I run with, I run with hard one.

Okay. So hard one and Beverly, you guys hop off the roof and you get down and you see crazy fucking murder scene. The tavern is full of body parts from like the bears going in there and tearing at people and shit. You can see that maybe when the animals ran in there some of these guys were already dead but they were just crazed and being told to rip out the ponytail so you see the scalped barbarians all over the ground. Uh-huh, good touch.

And as you go through the bodies, you do see Mishka on the ground, dead with six spears in her. Mishka holding a great sword, covered in blood, and there are like six dudes laying around her. You're a fucking hero. Mishko, I rush over to her.

I rush over to her just to make sure that she is dead. I take her pulse. I'm gonna walk over to the casks of ale. Build one cup to overflowing and pour it out for Mishko. Oh, beautiful. And then two more glasses for me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hard one sits alone at the bar.

The double fisting. I run over and I grab one and I down it and one goal I'm so sad. And so good. Oh my God, Bev is first Bev. That is first Bev. That is first Bev. Bishka. I give you your drunkards patch.

Ha ha ha ha. I come in sopping wet with bay water, and then I see Mishka, and I break down. And then I just put my mouth underneath the cask and start and pull the tap. I'm getting trash. I'm going to save dirt. I'm going to save dirt. I'm going to throw up. It's all gonna throw up! I do throw up.

Throw up. There we go. I throw up. And then I kind of wipe my mouth and I turn to hard one in moonshine and I say, guys, I think the jamboreans canceled. And with that, we will end our session. Pulling back a drone shot pulls back on Beverly having his first beer

in this absolute disgusting murder scene with his friends, Mishka laying there, the fallen hero. But we do see as we pull back that the bay, once again, lights up. We are, we know. We know. Not yet, not yet No, yeah, no, yeah. Guys thanks for listening to the show. Follow us on Twitter at call.de is called well

at CH Murphy's me at J. Kerwitz's Jake at E. Axford is Emily. Check out our subreddit or not another D&D podcast. Get it up to 3,000 subscribers. Guys next week we have our first guest. Ooh, should we announce it now? Should be a surprise. Leave it, I think they should be surprised. Surprise, okay.

Surprise, guests, next week. No, cause then you know what? Cause then people are just gonna guess and they're gonna be like, is it a mirror? Is it a mirror? It's Adam Connoble. Adam Connoble is coming. Adam is gonna come and play with us.

So everybody get excited for that. And ex-surprised. And ex-surprise when Adam shows up. I don't know what he's playing, but I can't. I was like, only I know. Only you know. I was like, you should play some nerdy wizard and he was like, stop trying to type guys to me.

So guys, please rate the show. Say who you want to get a shout out from. We always do shout outs at the end of the show. So request a shout out and we shall give you a shout out. Oh yeah, I've been, for my shout outs, I've been giving people nicknames and honors and stuff, but it would be way more helpful if your names indicated what you wanted, because then I,

Oh, yeah, if you say what you want your nickname to be, just give me a leaping off point and I can do it better. Right, give me, I got too many like MBV457, like I don't know what to do with that, man. Yeah, just say that your name is Mark. Say my name is Mark and I would like a shout out from hard one. I can make an alliteration, that's all I need. IV, IV, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V, We need like a mournful durch of a POD this time. Mishka, right. We are, we are youth of a nation.

Thanks for listening, guys. We're going to do our shout outs now, starting with the NPCs. So it's me, Scoutmaster Danny, awarding Rick D, the podcast rating badge for excellence in rating podcasts! Congratulations Rick! Then we got some truly strange requests, including one for the Wellhung cobalt sorcerer. Who doesn't even really have a voice, so I'll just give him a generic tough guy voice. Uh, shout out to Austin Nymaster, so he's nice to meet a fan, although I don't know why I have fans.

Uh, next up, uh, marginally better character. Erlin's gonna give a shout out. Uh, hey, KJ everyday! You're looking a little down, so let's touch hands! Also shout outs to our friend James, who was recently in the hospital. Get better James. In fact, let's get all the green teens together to touch who was recently in the hospital. Get better James. In fact, let's get all the green teens together to touch hands and help with the healing. Okay, Irland, Durland, Cran, you guys all ready?

Ready? Three, two, one. Charge! Charge! Alright guys, that's it for me. Now let's catch up with Hard One, Beverly, and Munchine. Hard One Surefoot would like to thank you, Comparicus, the combat king.

Long live our offense officer, Ocean Kahuna, who is shouting out my favorite dwarven cookies, Aloha and Mahalo to you, Duke of the Longboard. Baron the demanding, the greedy hand of the deep. Super Avram, the brother of the Bisc. Champagne Hito, cheers my bubbly brethren, Lord of the lush. Mead for my men, a horn of my darkest ale for you, stout as my brother and sister dwarves of the dwarvenage.

Beverly Togold here, I'd like to offer a brief greeting to my good friend, The Bitty. We've been friends ever since we share a bunk at church camp way back when. I still remember the night we missed the camp dance because we both had terrible diarrhea after eating some very bad jambalaya. Miss you buddy, hope you're doing well. Yours in the light of Pellor, Beverly. Hey y'all, moonshine here. Just wanted to shout out my fellow crit-crud, Isson Guardians, and Yaga Robes. Y'all are the saffron in my John Belire inspired gumbo. Keep it

Crick geek, I'm Rads. That was a hit gun podcast.