Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 80: Your Own Personal Hell (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: October 24, 2019

The Band of Boobs continue their journey to the next layer of Hell and immediately find themselves in hot water! Hardwon taps into his dwarven heritage, Moonshine opens up her fungal network, and Beverly confronts an anti-paladin. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."Deal with a Devil" by Emily Axford."The Bronzebeard Legacy" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's a Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."Moonshine's Stump" by Emily Axford."The Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Bash at the Gash" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping with rush

processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire.

Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya, everyone.

Bahumya. Bahumya. Bahumya. Bahumya. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, Shorefoot. Emily Axford. Moon Shine Sabin. Mother of monsters and designated druid.

Ooh, there we go. Oh god, dammit. We went a whole episode. I know. I thought of it because we literally played it last night, and I thought of it this morning. I'm like, what the fuck are I going to say that. Yeah, that's absolutely like a regretful shower thought I know and of course called well Tanner Beverly Toggle the fifth casino boy out

Very good. I like it luck be a Beverly tonight. I'm going to rename the episode What about oceans 11 ZZs, right? Because you're a little half length. That's also very good. Man, you got a productive shower. Ha, ha, ha. Sweet guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys followed the River Sticks

down to the next layer of hell and entered lust. The landscape changed from a fiery war zone to tranquil rolling hills, but it was only the illusion of safety. Hard one found himself charmed by a devil who tricked him into knocking moonshine into the river sticks before jumping in himself. As a result, they were cursed, and both of their intelligences were lowered to one, Bevin Boundor were then approached by the Arch Devil Fierna, ruler of lust, she explained that undamned souls, such as yourselves, were extremely valuable, explaining that you were like gold coins in a vault of copper.

Fierna demonstrated the analogy, literally, breaking your mortal soul coins into 100 smaller ones. After Beverly nearly lost all of his to Fierna, he and Balnor were able to convince her to take 75 from each of you. After Munchan and Hardwon were healed, you divvyed up the remaining coins with Balnor, Bev, and Hardwon retaining only half

of their humanity. You continued down the river sticks. There, you found a casino that offered passage to the next layer. Provided you had enough soul coins. You dominated the various games of chance, eventually winning. The sword dominated.

Right. The flying sword was really the MVP. We're all just witnesses to their greatness. Although with a war. Is this gonna be called, is this episode, is that episode gonna be called The Sword Dancer? Yeah, yeah, sure. I, I, I, I honestly think the highlight of the gambling was

Beverly offering to let a dude throw a knife at him. That would have turned some heads in a casino. Yeah. I mean, it's like going to a carnival game where somebody throws darts and says, I bet you can't hit me instead. And it just works out. Oh man, I earned $5 an hour. Don't make me do this. So you guys were able to win a large number of coins enough to restore all of your souls to full as well as to have enough

extra access. The next layer of hell, you offered your extra soul coins to the bouncer at the elevator who revealed herself to be the archdevil fierna. In the end, she was able to get you to hand over four untainted mortals worth of soul coins. It just wasn't the way you thought it would be. And with that, you began descending to the next layer of hell. And that's where we are now. So I guess we're kinda one for one as far as the hell stakes go.

You know, I gotta be honest, I think all of us felt in that first level, like it was kinda rad. I think everyone I met in that honey trap, Casino, I'd let them sink. For sure. We can close hell at level two. Yeah.

Can't we do that? I mean, we can't hear. Should we just cut this elevator? Do people go up through here? Sort of way. Right, yeah, we're still on it. You're not a devil anymore. Sorry, I got used to it.

I got used to being a bad boy. You got a little bad boy streak. I can see it. Yeah. So, Bev, according to your book, this next layer is reserved for those who have committed this sin of gluttony. The beings here are cursed with an endless hunger

that can never be sated. Monsters here are on a never-ending feeding spree. It is said that the ground itself is cursed, and we'll consume those who walk upon it. Okay, so everybody put on these booties I've got for you. These are usually reserved for when you're painting a house. You just slide these over your shoes.

They should protect us. If we wore some Tupperware on our feet, they can get tupperware would work great too. We, Papa already has a little tupperware. He was already wearing a tupperware hat. Do you guys have these in my size? What do you like us? What?

Seven and a half? Twenty, I'm a twenty-two. It's going to be as I have. I don't know, man. You seem bound or so to hold on this feet up next to yours. They're not that much bigger than mine. The booties are elastic. If you just want to wear the booties.

I guess I can wear what on my big toe? Yeah, you know, I actually got a caboodle. I got two caboodles. Hard to remember. You asking for a magnum bootie? I'd like a magnum bootie. I got a king caboodle, for you. What is a caboodle?

A budle is like when you're young and your mom gives you like a little, it's like a little um it's not little though It's kind of big You can keep toys and yeah, it's like what your leg goes in it almost looks like a bait box. I am okay I know what you're talking about too. Yeah, it's for you like that. They have that in the size 22 Yeah, they're kind of bigger bigger than Tupperware Beverly definitely had a caboodle as a kid No question. So definitely had a caboodle as a kid. No question.

So you had your beads. I was a little bit nervous. For your jewelry making badge. Absolutely. Upper layer is for my decorative floss. As you guys talk about caboodles and decorative floss, you descend to the next layer of hell. Oh god.

You descend down this elevator shaft. It all feels very manual. You hear the clanking of chains. The shaft is cramped, but there is a bit of light. There is a glowing red sphere attached to the elevator, giving everything around you a crimson hue. I want to cast like detect magic. Be like, is this all in illusion?

Is this like the illusion of some sort of like metallic elevator shaft that's like or is it just actually that? You cast a tech magic. There is magic around you the sphere giving off light is magical. This does not appear to be an illusion So you guys are going down the shaft, and eventually it opens up into an extremely large cave. You guys have now been writing down for a while. Besides the red sphere, there is no other light, just dark abyss below you,

and dark walls to the sides with stones that almost look like scales. As you guys descend, go ahead and give me perception checks. 13. 13 for me as well. I hop-hop got a 12. I don't know what he adds to perception. 17.

We can say Moonshan that he just gives you advantage. So if he rolled a 12. Okay, so I got 21. Oh my goodness. Pop-hop sniffs the air and he starts to look concerned. Me. What's wrong, boy? Me. He scampers over to the side. Where to tight? Me. He starts moving in the top of where. Then he looks relieved for a second. And then once again, he sniffs the air and looks concerned. Yeah. You hear the clanking of Tupperware against the elevator as he looks over the edge and starts

looking a little panicked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Munchan you look over the edge and you see about 200 feet below you a rising tide of bile, bubbling acid, that sizzles and pops. You see debris from the cave wall hits it and it starts popping. You see emerging from this acid below. Are these sickly, skeletally thin nude creatures with blood stained teeth

and matted main G hair who begins skittering up the walls and as I pop off Sniffs the Air, he starts like gesturing to the walls and you notice that they are moving slightly like contracting. Oh, we're in throat. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Oh, all right.

23. 14. Seven. Okay right. 23, 14, seven. Okay, hard one, you are first. You see about 200 feet below you is this acid that is rising. You see the cave walls are about 30 feet from you in this elevator shaft. You're in this elevator shaft in the middle of this thing's body, whatever it is.

It's about 30 feet to get to the monster's skin and you see so far two of these skittering nude monsters coming out of the acid and it looks like it's rising. That is your turn. I'm going to bravely hold a reaction. Okay, so you hold your turn. That is... But I do it bravely. You do it extremely bravely. That is the first hold your turn. That is... But I do it bravely.

You do it extremely bravely. That is the first two monsters turn. They are going to start skittering up the wall. They get up 60 feet. Oh, they fast. They are now 140 feet away. Yes, just unnatural like exorcist style climbing up the wall. We're so hungry.

There's those little bites on the side of a little bite. Is there like a door that leads somewhere else because we're in this enclosed area? No, that is Bev's turn. Cool. First and foremost, I tossed down some ritz bits for them. They furiously gobble up the ritz bits and you see they've got like skin hanging off of them and everything. You see it just falls down from the rib cage. More, more, more. You want full size Ritz? I just want Ritz. Okay, I tossed down full size Ritz. Start chomping down the Ritz more.

More Ritz. I'll take a Ritz too. I'm feeling a bit tankish. No, no, I don't want to see me do it. I don't want to see me do it. Here, put a ritz, too. I'm feeling a bit tankish. No, no, I don't want to see me. Don't be tempted. I don't want to see me do it. I'll smell it. Here, put a cloth over your head. I take out a wimple. Ha, ha, ha. I'm going to go ahead and cast Aura of purity on everyone. Let me read this description.

Until the spell ends, the Aura moves with you, centered on you. Each non-hostile creature in the R, including you, can't become diseased, has resistance to poison and has advantage on saving throws against effects that cause any of the following. Blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, paralyzed, poisoned, and stunned.

You see this anti-bile, I guess maybe like a nice lotion. For the guy. I want to eat the fucking lotion. Give me your lotion, Tom's, right? Oh yeah, oh holy shit, yes. Oh, a bubble of Pepto Bismol. Or of antacid. Yeah, it inflops us all.

And that will be my turn. Sweet, moonshine, that's your turn. I need to try to find an exit from this situation, even if it's through the water. Go ahead and moonshine, give me an insight check. 16. even if it's through the water. Go ahead and move on, give me an insight check. Okay. 16. 16. This elevator traveled for a while.

You can deduce that you are probably in the next layer of hell, the way out would be to get through this monster. So we need to get shit out? Or we could make a new bug. We have to cut out the sides. Yep. Oh, operation second butthole. Fuck it. I guess if I think that what we need to do is just pierce our way out of the skin, then I

think I'm going to just jump to a wall attack and then misty step back to the platform. Sweet, you can absolutely do that. Okay. Yeah, you can, I'll say yeah, because you can, even if you can't do a full long jump to make it 30 feet horizontally, you can certainly, if you're down to fall, you can angle yourself that way. So you fall, bring your sword out, go ahead and make an attack. Okay, we'll use pop-off or some help.

Riii! You jump off with you, top of where, top of where falls into first from help. Riiiih! He jumps off with you, tap where, tap where falls into the acid below. Riiiih! Riiih! It's probably better. You're not gonna get a lot of traction with those. This is a 24 hit. 24 does hit.

I guess this is exploratory. We'll just see what happens. See how big of a gash we can make. 20. 20 damage. And then I'm also gonna, I'm not in fungal form, but I will also spores it for nine

to see what it, I mean poison, no one is doing just the way. It takes, it takes the damage, it starts eating away. Yes! Finally, my poison works in hell. Okay, so Munchan, I'll say when you jumped down, there was a bit of an arc to it, so I'll say that you probably fell about 25 feet as you jumped. You see that particular area is now damaged, but if you were to attack a different part,

it wouldn't be as concentrated. So you missed the step back. But you guys see, moonshine has begun cutting through. I'm gonna use my held reaction then, and jump onto the same area, and attack it with my axe. Sweet. Are you're hammer?

Oh yeah, my hammer. Okay, yeah, yeah, you can just do bludgeoning damage to it, smash into it. Cool. I crit. Oh, wait a second. No, I didn't. Don't worry, I rolled a 19.

Okay, I crit a 19 or your cursed from that drink before. It's all, remember who is cursed. So Papa is cursed, Munchan is cursed your cursed from that drink before. That's all remember who is cursed So Papa's cursed moon Chinese cursed and hard one is cursed. Oh my god That would have been really fucking. Yeah beef real hard in the throat Murphy forgot to mention that Bev is blessed last found or spless Five check Bev is blessed 31 damage nice. Okay, that's on the first attack. Oh 25 to hit on the second. Super hits. Yes.

Yeah, you guys see hard one jumps out, devil may care, stops himself on the side, probably you pull out your hand axe and like slow yourself down as you get there. I'm like, I was climbing on this thing. Yeah, the pull out the hammer and start whaling on the damaged area. You feel this beast shake and all of this debris starts falling down from the elevator.

Start shaking in the middle of the room. Dude, you look just like the guy from vertical limit right now. I accept a little thicker, right? I don't know. 20 damage. Just under on the second attack. Nice. 18 to hit.

Does hit. 17 damage on the last. Nice. If to hit, does hit. Heart one. 17 damage on the last. Nice. If there was ever a time to break down the wall, now is that time. Hope this guy didn't build them too thick. What are we doing when we build a wall?

That's right, we create an asshole in it. Hard one, I'm gonna say. And asshole for all these people, you truly love to pass through. Go ahead and do an athletics check to vertical limit. Ooh, so that you can hang on. Otherwise, you're gonna fall. Impathetic asshole.

15. 15, okay, you're able to hang on. You're able to stay on, I'll say there's enough of an indent in this thing, skin now that you're like just hanging on. Oh, sick. I guess Boundor, actually, you know what? Boundor will do the same thing. He'll just start throwing javelins down at it.

Balnor hits on both, two natural 17. He goes, and just balnor. It's so close to my head, man. Yeah, watch out, just duck out of the way a little bit there. Balnor does a total of 12 damage to this thing, but this thing is thick. Way to build the wall. Then on initiative one, this acid is going to rise 1D100, let's see how high it gets.

Steer. Ooh, 20 feet. So it is still 180 feet away. That is back up to hard one. Okay, I'm gonna keep on swinging my hammer at the gash. Black the gash. Black the gash. 25 to hit, super hits.

It's just what we're good at. 20 damage. Nice. Shout out to the two crew on my second attack. This is, yeah, you're smashing into it, and you hit like a thick scale. It's like digging into the earth and you just hit a rock. This one feels like an ingrown hair.

Then a 20 to hit, not net. Don't take it away from me. That hits. Oh, there's actually a clot. 17 damage. Nice. You are messing this thing up. You are making a lot of headway, hard one.

Then, you know what, why don't I use my action surge and just hammer all the live long dead? Yes, sir. Ooh, you are making a lot of headway hard one. Then you know what, why don't I use my action surge and just hammer all the live long dead? Yes, sir. Ooh, you are mining. Uh, 16? Uh, 16 does not hit. Damn it. Too thick.

Don't deeper in hell than any dwarf before. That seems accurate. Uh, 28 to hit. Uh, 28 does hit, yeah. 17 damage. 17 damage, you get a little bit further hard one But this thing is thick as hell and then a 27 hit that hits yeah hard one you're seeing all these like disgusting Tendons inside it's it's fucked up and weird god you don't think you're your skin

Gargol some mouthwash dude 16 damage on the last one 16 damage on the last one Things messed up, but still going. Oh my god. All right, that is the monster's turn. They are going to actually... We should have never... You guys see three more of these monsters...

Oh, two. I'm a merge. White blood cells. The acid. And you hear a familiar voice. You see this bigger skeleton go I just need the little taste man oh Jesus could that possibly be Bastion oh my god Bastion fucking hungry man how the hell is some of it? How did Bastion get down here? Gluttony?

Yeah, I remember he hoarded all those things. Yeah, Bastion. Good to see you. Let's just let me have a little bite of you I just thought he was a little nipple. I thought he was a pack right? Little nipple. Just let me get a little bite of you. Why did you give him a taste for crackers? Bye These guys climb up another 60 feet, getting closer to hard one. That is Beth's turn. Cool. I'm going to misty step and try and stab a javelin into the side and then start swinging at these monsters

to provide cover for hard one. Okay. Great. Sweet. So the ones that are skittering up the wall, just the ones that are getting closest to him. Cool. Yeah, there's two of ones that are skittering up the wall. Yeah, just the ones that are getting closest to him cool Yeah, there's two of them that are the closest and three of them that are in the acid like rising with it

Yeah, I'm gonna focus on those two if I can sweet Right, you jump down stick a javelin in the wall go ahead and give me an athletics check actually sure Ooh 19 19 you're good. You got a map. Oh, actually, 23. Yeah. Yeah, super good. All right. It's totally vertical limited. Hell yeah.

I saw that movie in theaters when I was in seventh grade. Jesus, look at those four arms. Yeah, I've been doing upper squats, too. Is there a name for that? Curls. Okay, that sounds better. I'll call them that from now on. Cool, can I take some attacks?

Yeah, awesome. Does A21 hit? 21 does hit. Woo, already. And now are these beings susceptible to extra radiant damage? Yes, there's a super evil. Fantastic. Give me more Ritz bits.

Give me more Ritz. Full size Ritz. Super size Ritz. I'll give you something to bite on. I want a big Ritz. Super evil fantastic. Just give me like give me more rich bits give me more rich full size rich super size rich I'll give you something to bite on I want a big ritz That's 21 damage on my first it nice I don't know if I should um how how hurt is it looking not hurt all right cool I'll smite on the next one if I can sweet Can I use my true striker? Do I need to declare that beforehand? I need to declare it before I does a 17 hit Seventeen does have wonderful great just a bunch of nude monsters. Yeah, they're fully naked All right, so I'll go ahead and do a third level smite wow

37 damage nice. Oh, yeah, how's it looking still pretty good? 37 damage nice. Oh, yeah, how's it looking still pretty good? Um, wait for the same one is still standing. Yeah, wow Jesus Christ these new things are beefy. All right I'm gonna go ahead and send you away as a free action. I would like to toss it a launchable Just eats it whole doesn't even pop the Capri Sun. What do you do? I'll never stop I want to eat in that Give me more I want another launchable. I never said that was a ham one Pizza one Don't give me to one. Give me just pizza one Beverly don't listen to this one. He wants it really bad I so do I I want him more. I promise I want him more. I love it tomorrow man. Give it to me

Do you know I'm the great that's fucking warrior in the world. Give it to Bastion. Give it to me. It's a lunge of bull. Give it to me. I'm so glad I am. Do you even have a microwave? No.

Are you just gonna eat it whole? I just wanna call that how you eat a pizza lunge of bull. Yeah, that's so gross. You can't throw into the acid man. You're not even gonna let the fucking acid man give me a pizza lunge of bull. It's awesome. One of the pizza, Longeable. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's awesome.

One of the pizzas, but not all of them. Just devours it. It goes right through his ribcage. No. Uh-huh. Munchan, that's your turn. I think I'm just gonna go after the Asophagus. Yeah, it's all the wall.

Yeah, I think I am going to. Yeah, because even if these guys come after, I have a way to get us. Okay. Papa's gonna give me the help I think I'm gonna like jump to Bev's javelin. Oh, oh, oh, Bev is down in a different area fighting guys way lower Okay, do you want to go to a hard one? Yeah, I guess I'm gonna I guess I'm gonna do the same thing where I You can stand on my shoulders. Okay, go ahead and do an athletic strike DC 15

And don't roll a 20 I got a one because I got a 20. Wow. Oh my god. Am I allowed to use a left point to give it to Moonshine? You guys see Moonshine jumps, tries to stick Rosaline into the side of the monster, misses, hits a scale, bounces off, and falls back into the rising acid.

That was only my movement though. I still can do an action, right? Yep, but first you're going to take some acid damage as you fall. You take 21 damage as soon as you touch this bile. Jesus, Munchine Is that poison damage no acid cool cool, so Munchine you are now down 180 feet. Oh You can continue your turn You see all these monsters around you and Bastion goes this let me have a little bite of you

They're all around me. Yeah, is that it no one's hurt though, right? No, no one's hurt And there's there's two separate ones that bevis fighting This is a bad situation. You need to get out of here. There's three dudes in the acid There's two guys fighting Beverly up on the wall and you are now 180 feet down after having fallen mother fucker This absolutely fucks me. All right. I guess I do investiture of wind I now have a flying speed of 60 feet great Fuck your fun. Yeah, You're not fucked at all. I guess I could have wild, but I can't cast spells from wild shape, right?

I can from semiotic entity, but I can't. Right. Right. All right, then. So ranged weapon attacks have a disadvantage on the attack roll, whatever. I'm just doing it to the fly. You're able to fly. So you fly 60 feet up.

Okay. Someone's trying to you are at 120 feet. Whoa. Didn't know you could do that. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, I've done it before. Okay. So Munchine, you are at 120 feet. Whoa, didn't know you could do that. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, I've done it before. Cool. Let me see it again. But at least I got rid of my fucking curse. That's true.

There you go. Have it happen on. I was really hoping it would be like, I don't know, like a diplomacy check or a charisma check. Like I always say, when in doubt, just fly, I guess. That is, Ballon or Stern, Ballon or Stern, I'm going to throw some javelins. Ballon or Mrs. on the first doubt, just fly I guess. That is, Balanore's turn, Balanore's gonna throw some javelins, Balanore misses on the first one, almost hit hard one, Nick's is but, okay.

I know it's a big target. Misses on the second one. Sorry, man. He's a real bad dad now. That is the end of the round, so the acid is going to rise. Oof, it goes up 90 feet. Which means it catches up to Moon Shine. Moon Shine you take 24 acid damage. Hard one that is your turn.

Okay, I think I just have to keep on mulling the wall. Sweet. I'm just gonna try to get through. All the wall. Mull that wall. 18 hits. 18 hits. 13 damage. 13 damage 13 damage get further through does a 16 hit does not I'm gonna use a luck point, okay? Yeah

27 hit hits 18 damage nice you're starting to get pretty deep in there. Okay try one more time Let's go block me. That's only a three. I'm gonna use all right. I'm gonna use my final luck there. Okay try one more time. Let's go. Fuck me. That's only three. I'm gonna use... Alright, I'm gonna use my final lock point. Okay. I rolled a net one. Yikes. Does that one become a 20? You are not blessed, sir. No, I'm cursed. Okay, it would seem. That is the monsters turns at the beginning of the turn,

another four of these monsters emerge from the acid. There are so many now, six of them are gonna take cracks and moonshine in the acid. Hard one, I have a spell that will save us. You just need to fucking make an anus in this fucking dude's stop, I guess. You also, you guys see? No, I don't have save us. You just need to fucking make an anus in this fucking dude. It's a suffocates. You also, you guys see, no, I don't have one anymore.

You guys see, it was a six level spell. The acid is going to reach the hole at some point, and you guys are gonna have to either just eat acid damage or start a new one at a certain point. If you guys don't damage this, I actually don't have a spell to save us. Okay, so I shouldn't make an anus. Well, you should make an anus,

but I don't have one to get us safe passage. So there are a total of 12 attacks and there are five hits. 72 damage to no. I'm down. Moonshine goes unconscious in the acid. Oh, she begins to sink and sizzle. And then the two that are up on the wall with Bev are gonna go after Bev. Who knew that fucking potion would kill me? There are two hits on Bev. You shouldn't have cooked that dice so good. For a total of 36 damage. Okay, that is your turn, Bev.

I'm going to jump down to moonshine and I guess try and land on her body so that I don't get acid on myself. You don't think you can kind of have to, unless you use a spell, you have to take damage. I'll say if you wanna touch her in Misty Step, I will allow that if you wanna do that, but you're gonna need to use a spell.

Yeah, I wanna touch her in Misty Step. Okay, sweet. You jump down as soon as you touch her, you lay hands and you misty step great Yeah, how much I'll give you you know what I'll give you a full 60 Yeah, baby sweet great moonshine pops back up to 60 and Bev you get 30 feet back up great. Okay. That is moonshine's turn Okay, um, would you say there's water and bile? Yeah.

I would like to cast control, water, and do redirect flow. Oh, shit, that's awesome. Okay. So I think I actually what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna like, I think I'm gonna point like diagonally upwards in the direction away from, away from where the whole that we're working on is. Okay, yeah, so you want the acid all like,

swish up to the side. Yeah, yeah. Sweet clashes up on the side of this giant beast and begins rising up the wall. Okay. What do you do? You start falling. I'll just shove my Rosalene in the wall

and try to catch myself. Okay, go ahead and give me athletics check. 25. 25. Yeah, moonshine you an athletics check. 25. 25. Yeah, moonshine, you successfully. Oh, 27. Yeah, you successfully stab into the wall, acid all moves to the one side.

Yeah, I'm gonna say that the monsters that are like deep below aren't gonna rise anymore, but the ones that are still there are still gonna attack on their turn. That is Balnor's turn. At this point, Balnor is going to jump down to try to help. Balnor gets a successful athletics check, gets up near the gash, starts taking sword attacks.

That is two hits. There you go, Balnor. Yeah, try and medesit. Better than throwing javelins at me. That is 19 damage from Balnor. You guys are getting pretty deep in there. That is back around to the acid. Gross.

Yeah, gross. Acid is up on the side now. That is hard one's turn. OK. I'm going to do that for 300 feet, and then it would probably then step to fall back down. Yeah, for the rest of the encounter, essentially, it's on the side. Yeah.

Malthowall. 18 hit. 18 hits. 20 damage. You break through all these tendons you are very deep in there now Fuck yeah, you go net one secure the fissure 26 to hit that hits 17 damage hard one you burst through yes, you create a hole the outside, there is all of this hail. There's this terrible storm out there. We might want to stay in the throats.

Hard one, do you want to use your movement or anything? What do you want to do? Can I poke my head out? Yeah. All right, cool. I want to stick my head out of the anus. You stick your head out. You see that, yeah, this new anus, you see that you guys are inside this gargantuan worm in the middle of this huge storm. And the ground is so far below you, you can't see it at this moment,

but there is a lot of fog and wind. Does it look like the purple worm from before? No, wave figure. That's tight. That is the monster's turns. I'm gonna say that with all the acid moving around and everything, they're all gonna do deck saves to see if they can like kind of stay on target and jump towards you guys. They'll do the athletics checks to jump onto the wall. Yeah, slash yes, just try. So you guys see only four of them make it a bunch of them fall into the depths below but Bastion stabs into the wall next to you guys. Let me have a little another pizza

Bastion misses you twice Bev Next guy is gonna go after you hits once for 18 damage Next to go after you moonshine and there are two hits in there That is a total of 36 damage that is Bev's turn cool then I'm going to I'll misty step one more time sweet To get up to the hole you're up there And then I will go ahead and toss down a rope sweet Oh, that's nice. Yep, and I'll go ahead and just like slam a javelin into the side to secure the rope

Can I go ahead and use an action as well maybe? Yeah, I want to use command on bastion. Okay So you will need to make a wisdom saving throw that is a 10 he fails oh shoot what do I have him do? Dive you got it bus you see he just jumps off into the abyss I want another fucking pizza man. There's a pepperoni at the bottom. There's a pepperoni at the bottom of the worm. Fuckin' say it down the goo. You gotta swim deeper. I don't say it. It's even deeper, deeper, deeper.

I don't say it down there. There's a whole pizza. There's a whole pizza hut down there. This is the weirdest episode of Magic School Bus. It's a weird episode of Magic School Bus. Moonshan, that's your turn. OK, I'm just going to wild shape into, Munchan, that's your turn. Okay, I'm just gonna wild shape into a hawk. Okay.

And just fly. You fly, you're able to get right up to the whole flap, flap, clop. Yes, okay. As the whole flies. Do you wanna fly out or anything or where do you wanna go? Yeah, I wanna fly out, get a view of what's going on. Sweet,

Munchan, as you fly out into this storm, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. And I'm gonna say we're gonna have to use Hawk stats for that. So me plus three to dex. Okay, go ahead and make a dex save. Not 20 bits. Oh, hey!

That doesn't get cursed. And it doesn't get cursed. Yeah, it's uncursed, 20. You stay flying. So I'm looking for ground. Do I see ground anywhere? What's the terrain like? You do not see any ground.

Are you gonna fly down? Like there's all this mist and everything in fog. It's this horrible hail storm. Um. I'm gonna say you don't really have any movement left. So you just get out into the open air. And I don't fall. That is Balnor's turn.

Balnor is gonna look out through the hole and kind of hold this turn, see what everybody else is doing. End of the round. That is the acid. Acid is up on the side. It's not gonna do anything. That is hard once turn. Can I crawl through the hole? Yeah. I'm gonna crawl through the hole and cliffhanger style hang one hand out on the other side. Cool. See what's Gucci.

As you hang out, go ahead and out on the other side. Cool. See what's Gucci. As you hang out, go ahead and give me a deck save. I cannot believe how many net ones I've rolled this episode. Wow, we, it turns into a five. Hard one, as you climb out of this thing, you feel it, rye, and it violently thrashes and you are flung off. Hope up into the storm. There you go.

That is the monster's turn. They are just going to use their turn to skitter up, Bev, you see them following you up by the whole, Bev, that's your turn. Okay, so I am at the base of the whole. I'm at the whole. Yeah, I'm at the whole. I'm the last one through, I think, right?

Boundoers with me? Boundoers with you, he'll follow you. Okay, so Boundoer and I definitely go through the whole. We just, did we see a hard one? Did I see a hard one fall? You saw a hard one get blown off into, he's gone. Okay. I'll be fine.

I love you, but I don't believe you oh you know what I'm gonna do how big is the hole three you have to like crawl through it you probably you guys probably don't have to crawl through it's like three and a half feet high I'd say three and a half feet Balnor yeah as soon as we get through the hole block it with the bag what so the monster? Then we'd have to take the bag it's a boy. I just while we're trying to figure out our next move I'm saying like plug the hole up so that the monsters can't get through. All right. The paint the monster. You see no yeah just do it. Put the bag's

mouth over the hole so the monsters just fall in. They'll rob the bag. The diapers. We offload all our crew so far. Boundlord tries to climb out and he's gonna do a deck save as he tries to prep the bag. That was a natural three for Boundlord. Okay, he Boundlord blows off into the storm. All right, so Boundlord's got it. Boundlord's got it.

He shouldn't have opened the bag. He was like a kite. You see why? Yeah, he's just like, like I just like a cartoon character with a balloon flying up there. He was parasailing by accident. He got a parachute. He was like, it was a parachute.

But you do see one majestic hawk just gliding through the storm. Okay. And we find, do I see them? Can I just climb out of the hole and like just try and get eyes on where they went? Yeah, go ahead and poke your head out. Go ahead and perception check with disadvantage. Okay. Unless you want to, if you want to poke your head out real far, you can do a regular one

but you're going to need to do a deck save. I'll do it. This is like Nightmare Storm, like worse than anything on the material plane. White Squall. Yeah. But a red star? Yeah, hard one just like jumped out and there was just a tornado there. Yeah, my friends are gone. It's time for some worm riding, Paula Tready's style.

I'm doing a Dex save. Okay. Mm-hmm. My Dex is zero. Oh. But I add plus four, so 13. Bev, you are blown off into the storm. Moonshine, what are you doing?

You're the only one who kind of has control of their own fate here. Okay, I would like to do I perceive anyone, uh, anyone falling as a hawk, I have advantage on a perception check. So that would be a regular check because normally you would do them with a disadvantage. You have beautiful, I guess I'm trying to say like do do I see anyone? Go ahead and do them with disadvantage. You have beautiful jay. I guess I'm trying to say do I see anyone? Go ahead and do a perception check. 16.

You do not see hard one. You see Balmornbef blowing off in separate directions. Jesus. Okay, I wanna swoop down, see if I can see anything below. What do I see below? Moonshan, you pierced through a fog. You see rain and hail. So heavy as it hits the ground that this,

this like muddy landscape below looks like a brown ocean. Just like thick mud like molasses. This is some fuckery, but can we say that I cast Featherfall and me in Belnor as we were flying out? It's a reaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and I've got the ring. Can I cast this bill? What spell? I want to cast Water Walk. So I guess I'm coming out of I'm coming out of a of Wild Shape to cast Water Walk on me and Bev and anyone else who's within 30 feet of us. Okay, it's just you two guys. Okay.

So you guys, Moonshine, you fly over to Bev at the last second, turn back into Moonshine, cast Water Walk, Bev, you and Moonshine land on this ground here, and you feel it like quick sand start to pull you down but not like a quick sand is one of the things that you can walk. This spell grants the ability to move across any liquid surface such as water acid mud snow quick sand or lava. It does not pull you all the way down. You just feel your feet sink and you feel that there is a strange viscosity to the ground here. Meanwhile, hard one, you are falling at the mercy of the wind.

You fall through the air, luckily you have the ring of feather fall. You see, lucky you. Lucky you. You see the ground coming up at you. You see that there is movement to it, just because there's so much water hitting it and it's such thick mud,

and when you crash into it, it feels like you're hitting water but you immediately are engulfed in some kind of thick gunk and you begin sinking and then everything goes black. Oh dear. Can I yell really loud today here where I'm coming from? You start to yell and your mouth starts to get filled with whatever this shit is. Whoa. Munchine and Bev, you guys are in this strange layer of hell. Like Bev's book says, the ground literally wants to eat you. And you see this giant worm thrashing,

no sign of hard one or balnor. Balnor, hard one. balnor Balnor hard one I Ignite my sword and kind of wave it around just to try and get something going you do it For a beat you don't get any response Oh shoot well, I guess we just start walking right we got to try and find him or do we just let this shit eat us Yeah, I want to like drop something that isn't me, that isn't enchanted with a spell into it and see what happens.

Yeah, let's drop a rope in. Yeah, let's put a sweet, put a stone on a rope. You drop a rope in and you see that the thick mud beneath you begins consuming it. Okay, I would like to locate object on the queen's hammer. What's the range? 1, 1000 feet. Hard one is sinking to a lower layer of hell. Maybe we just have to sink. We just drop. Did I waste all these fucking cells because we're supposed to fucking sink?

Sometimes you know sometimes you got to break a few eggs to make a enchanted chicken. All right I guess let's do it. Yep. Yeah, I guess you drop the spell and we sink. I drop the spell and we sink. OK, probably feels pretty good. I take my shoes off. That view, you touch it, and it is kind of like a mud bath. It's like playing in some wet sand.

Silti. Yeah, you really get dip your tozes in there. I do pull out two cucumbers from my health conscious luncheable, and I put them over my eyes. Ooh, can I take some? Absolutely, yeah. It's a Xervon break. It's cucumbers, carrots, and some beet hummus.

Ooh, yeah, it's bright bread. Okay, it's boiled me. So for you guys, everything goes black because you have cucumbers on your eyes. But hard one, yeah you feel whatever this material is consumes you. And as you guys all sink, you hear a voice in your heads, go, you're the ones who killed my son, my beautiful boy. Glad's mom. I know, no, I hate glad. Oh, okay. I'm ill-said context clues everyone.

I play along. Nice to meet you miss Rosal I'm not again. I'm not Mrs. Rosal I killed your boy and I do it again. No glad Rosal I'm talking about acorot By the way, how long to take you guys to get eaten by the mud? I did it right away I guess some of us all the puzzle right everyone to everyone for the others. I burned two spells. Everyone's abusing the chat. All right, look.

I'm sorry, Miss Roselle. My name is Ylseant. It was Miss Roselle. I think it's the most correct. Oh, that's a context clear right there. Whoa. Perhaps you'll recognize me by my other title, Corruptor of Beverly Togled IV,

Killer of Maribel the Terrible. Yeah, how's that? Alright, you really changed the tone in this chat. That's right. You know what? I honestly don't feel cheeky anymore, so I'm going to drop it. Yeah. Nobody feels cheeky. Where are you?

Why are you going to be hiding from us? Deep, deep, and now listen. Another thing you killed is the mood. Alright. Again, everyone, you killed is the mood. All right. Again, everyone, stop abusing the chat. Hey, man, if you can't take the reactions, get up, chat. Hard one sends a gift. What a really funny one.

Let's see, Michael Scott from the... Who Jack goes back and forth between the exclamation marks and the thumbs up. OK, I want it to be able to talk to you all at once, but I will do private chats with everyone if this is how we're going to behave. DM me, I'm not afraid. Okay.

Look. This isn't your fight, okay? You're doing the Hollisterty work. You think you're working towards your own goals, but what's in it for you really? I can send you back, send you back to the material plane. You feel the ground begin to pull you back up. I don't say that is so interesting, because the fact that you would even bargain with us makes me think

you're a pretty easy kill. Yeah man, you gotta be shook if you're trying to get us out of here. Oh, this is really a peousing the chat. If you're asking what's in it for us, and you don't know us at all, we just do this for the pleasure of making things a little better. And we don't mind us at all. We just do this for the pleasure of making things a little better. And we don't mind getting dirty. Yeah, not to alert you, but we made the first level hell pretty cute and fun. It's basically a theme park.

Yes, I will admit to you made it a little bit more hospitable. Look, I think I think how about this? Why don't you just fucking fight us? Let's just do this. Let's meet on, I don't know, poetry or whatever the next level I like. Poetry. You think I have an entire level of hell dedicated to poetry. I think there might be like a sub-level.

Yeah. Like an addendum. Yes, that's next to lust. That's if you use, you know, poems to try to have sex with people. I guess if your poems were really problematic maybe. Yes, that's right. Reading does suck.

I just, yeah, well, I mean, you just, you're not putting on the bravest face right now. Oh, okay. If there's one thing I know about adventures like you, so that you draw your strength from each other, those first three layers, or nothing, compared to what you're about to experience, I will bring new meaning to the phrase your own personal hell. And chat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Did you guys stop to look? Could you hack it, you know? This is what you get. As you guys felt him offering to let you to kind of bring you guys back to the material plane

and you guys refused, you guys suddenly feel yourself getting sucked down, like very quickly. And each of you is pulled through this thick liquid and each of you is spit out of a portal of thick, purple, black substance. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dog stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement.

And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show.

So we're gonna start with our friend Hard One Shorefoot. What could you possibly say that would bother me? Hard one, you are spit out of this portal. You land in a giant cavern full of gold and riches. Treasure chests full of expensive ornamental weapons, jewelry, gems, the entire floor is covered in gold pieces. You feel your feet sink into the gold, you cannot feel the floor below you, just more and more coins you couldn't possibly reach the bottom. You would think you were in heaven if not for the rest of your surroundings. Above you is the ceiling of a hellish cave

with long jagged stalactites hanging, all around you thousands of people, hands bloody and broken from just clawing at the metal of these coins in an endless cycle. They're all looking for something that they can't find. You hear different shouts like, where's my ring? Where's the crown? That is my crown.

It belongs to me and belongs to my family. But one voice. Boomes above them all. You hear the broadsbeard King's hammer. It's here. I know it is. After all these years, we thought it lost, but this is my destiny.

It is my destiny to find it here. Hard one, you see that Wilhelm Bronzebeard has taken the form of a hellish flame dragon. He has become on the outside what he always was on the inside a covetous monster. He furiously shovels through the gold, making no progress. And you kind of, there are so many people here,

he does not immediately see that you have arrived. And everybody is in the zone right now, trying to find whatever it is that was missing from their life that they sold their souls for. And hard one, you see, a coldain comes out of your Queen's hammer. Hey man. And he goes, he's not the wrong.

The Bronzebeard King's hammer is here. I can sense it. I don't know if Wilhelm can actually sense it or not, but it is here. It is driven in mad, but he's looking in the wrong place. Do you sense it here? I shut my eyes and try to sense it. Go ahead and give me a religion check. You're gonna get while holding the Queen's hammer.

You have proficiency in religion, and you can use cold veins, wisdoms. You have, it'll be a plus 10 religion check. Okay. And that'll be a plus 10 religion check. Okay. And that'll be a 23. You look up. Everybody's focused on this giant horde of treasure below. You look to a large stalactite hanging

about 60 feet above the floor of the cave and you just sense power coming from inside it. And Coldain goes, rich men, always digging into pockets, trying to find the answer, but doors. Doors know it's in the rocks. I'm in hard one. As you feel yourself called to the bronze beard beard King's hammer, you have a flashback. Hard one, you are six years old. You are at the dwarf in itch. It is not been easy. You have been

teased for your height, for your lack of ability to grow facial hair by age six. It's kind of a shame. So you should be able to have a mustache. You haven't been able to pack on as much mass as some of these other dwarves. God, those are trying. But today is a special day. King Grimthor McGannis is visiting the Dwarf and Edge

and everyone is on their best behavior, including the adult attendance who often look the other way when you're being picked on. You see McGannis is surrounded by his King's Guard and he's addressing all the kids and he's in the middle of the speech and he goes, you might call this a dwarf in itch, but there are no true dwarvens in iron deep. We are all part of the same family. We are all dwarves. And some of the kids next to you start laughing. And one of them yells out, I guess that means hard one still doesn't have a family, huh?

Ha ha ha. You see a bunch of the kids laugh, and you even see a few of the like guards sneaker. But then King McGannis kind of looks thoughtful. And he looks out into the crowd out at you, hard one, and he goes, you boy. Hard one, is it? Yes, sir. You live here in the Dwarf and Edge.

Yes, sir. How would you like to hold the King's Hammer boy? Okay. You see, there is a hush across the room as Kim Gannis walks over to you and pulls his king's hammer from his side. You never imagined that this moment could happen. This is the most legendary weapon of the dwarves and all of your life. These other kids said that you couldn't have it. They wouldn't even let you play with it when they would make like play

ones. Any hands you this one hammer just this intricate design beautiful yet powerful. It's radiating holy energy and he goes go, you can hold it. Okay. You take it in your hand and it feels heavy for a moment and hard when you are very self conscious, especially as a little six year old, so you really try to put on a brave face. And it's heavy for a second, but then you feel the holy energy flow through you

and it feels right and it feels light in your hands. And McGannis laughs and he tussles your hair and he goes, looks like a dwarf to me. Yes, sir. You see, he takes the hammer back and you see, he's joined by his other guards in various attendance and he leaves. But then you see the other dwarves,

these kids seething with jealousy, and the attendants look the other way as a big one pushes you down, and a bunch of them pounce on you and just startounce on you and just start pounding on you. You can't roll initiative now? Solid memory.

Good times, good times. Moonshine, you arrive in a forest full of rotted trees, dead plants and a thick fog. The smell of death hangs in the air. You haven't seen this level of decay since... Crick-rope. You look around and see deathly poisonous mushrooms pumping spores into the air, creating a dizzying mist, and you see carved

into one of the trees is the phrase, Meribel lives. And you hear a voice go, pretend, pretend, Meribel. On the ground, you see a writhing mic in it. This little mushroom being all rotted and diseased. It looks like he can't stand up. He's like seething. And he goes, no, Maribel is dead. The one who claims to be Maribel is dead.

The one who claims to be Maribel is a pretender. Who are you talking about? Her spores. They came together and formed a new being. They think they are mother-mare abel, but they're pretenders. Did they take your life? They cut me off from their network. I was a part of mother. That was very deeply. I didn't want to hurt the you are welcome into my network, a report spores him. You see his eyes go wide and he starts tearing up and he goes, I thought I was going to die here. No, no, no, we're going to get revenge here and then rise up like a phoenix from the mushrooms. Like a phoenix from the mushroom. Yeah, where's Mother Maribel now? Is Mother Maribel?

They're not. Scott. Are they on the material plane? The pretenders here. You see, lifts a hand up that's like this like rooted kind of like mycelium looking thing like a fungal plant. Yeah. Raps around your hand. I can join your network. I shouldn't trust anything in hell, but I can't turn away a little mushroom with no network.

Join my network. Moonshine, you have a flashback. You are transported back to a few years ago. You've just gotten back from a walk in the living wood. You just had a nice chat with Joe and some chipper monks. You took a little nap by the creek and you're on your way back to your stump to make dinner when you hear Mimaw yelling from inside her stump. Out, Dammit!

Come on! Mimaw? Yeah. Mochang, would you get in here and help me out? Chipper Monk done, bitch. Oh, it's worse than that. Okay, yeah, come on, I'm coming in. Moonshan, you enter.

You see that Mimaw's stump has been torn a sunder. There's food spilled everywhere, bite marks and scratch marks all over her altar to Melora. You see her chasing around a tiny possum as she scrambles around, butting everything. I have cast, dominate beast on this little rodent. I've used every spell, every skill I have.

He is biting at momos nipples. I had to give her a break. And you just see this little possum. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Don't you see the flaw? Your casten spells on him. You can't have a reciprocal relationship if you're gonna cast spells on him I go to him with my hands in the air like I'm not gonna cast things spells. Hey little fella

I was about to go make some gumbo. You got an empty belly heard you got cut off You see this little possum looks at you with this little pink nose. No spells no funny business just gumbo Me I might cast a spell or two on the gumbo, but only to make it more savory Wham You see this little possum crawls up into your bib and instantly falls asleep What a fight and spirit. It tuckered him out.

You see, Mima just shakes her head and laughs and she goes, I swear, Moonshan, there's something about you. Things that don't belong just find a way of belonging when you're around. Me, ma, that's very, very nice. But I think I just made, I think I just make a great gumbo. This is a Papa shits in your a bit. Moonshine, back in hell, you see this monster closes its eyes and begins devolving into a mycelium of fungus that joins

your fungal form. And you feel yourself automatically turn into your fungal form. And it is now a more monstrous one, like a maribel in the flashbacks. Oh, tentacles. Do I have tentacles? Yeah, you have these like pseudo pods that stick out. Ooh, buddy, I hope my, I hope me taking pity on you was the right move. In moonshine, as you take all this in, as this being joins you, you have this moment of bliss,

you feel more powerful, then suddenly you feel a ping of panic, and you turn around, and you see that papa has been consumed by the ground, by this like fungal network below him. Me, me, me, me, me, I dive in. It disappears into the ground as you jump forward to catch him. Now we'll cut over to Beverly. Oh, hoo! You're a monster. Ah!

Ah! Fungus can't eat plot armor, right? Oh, it's the one thing that can. Ah! Beverly. Wow, I'm at the beach. You have been transported to a city of fire. At first, you can't focus at all. You can't get your bearings. It's just chaos of fire and destruction all around you

until you gather yourself and you realize that these are all churches, holy places, dedicated to various good deities, burning in perpetual flame. Oh, we do this. And nearby you see a few of these strange nude gray figures, no face, no sex organs, but they have torn angels wings coming out of their shoulder blades. And they're trying to fly, but they can't.

You just see they keep jumping over and over again, trying to fly, but they can't. And you see one of them runs over and just starts like Grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you it's okay. It's okay Here I get a towel out and I'm gonna wrap it around like a loin cloth. You look cold Go ahead and give me a persuasion check It's going to be a 25. 25, wow. You see this thing starts to calm down and yeah, there's some holy energy as you comfort this being.

What's wrong? Does it have a mouth or a face? It's just blank. It doesn't have a mouth. You see, gestures. It moves with its head and nods towards a burning church of Polar. Now, and inside the windows, silhouetted against the flame is another one of these strange beings, and it is having its wings ripped from its back. Um you see in the window the figure who is performing this atrocity, you see your father staring back at you.

With this expressionless look, a look that you have only seen once before. It's a matter of time. We flash back to Galatoron. This was three years ago. It's a few days after your 13th birthday. In the history of Galatoron, before the boy king became the king, there was a vizier who ruled in the interim, but it was discovered that he had poisoned the old king and plotted

against the royal family. He was ousted by theala and the other legendary heroes and he was sentenced to death and he was also the first person you ever saw die and your father is the one who killed him. You've just turned 13. You have the dubious honor of being the only green teen at this execution. Your father said it was your duty and that you were old enough. You stand with a line of green knights,

the youngest person there with you, the second youngest person is a queen. Who's standing next to you? You're both looking up at this stage. The king is there, the boy King, you know, being a brat, as he always was. The High Priest, Merrick High Hill, is reading the Vizier, his last rites, and your father is standing there with a sword drawn, looking stoic. Your father kind of, you know, that sort of Ned Stark sensibility of like, I'm the captain of the guard if we're going to send in somebody to death, it is my duty to do it.

Sui's asked for you to be here. You see that there is a crowd of onlookers who are rowdy, but the soldiers are solemn and a guayne takes up off of her cigarette and she goes, have you ever seen somebody die, Beverly? No, of course not. I mean, I've heard about people that have died, I've had relatives that died, but I haven't seen them die. But if I'm going to watch anyone die, I'm glad that it's my father upholding his duty, and that's, it's really cool that he wanted me to be here. It's an honor.

You can just admit that it sucks, dude. It's fine. Are you kidding me? This is the law of the land. This is the way that it's got to be, right? You see Shinawadz, she takes a drag of her cigarette. And I mean, a few years ago, you and Aguene had not had any kind of like real conversation.

So this is pretty significant. She's usually like pretty mean to you, but this is a pretty serious situation. And she goes, yeah, I've had to, I've had to come to a few of these. The first one was scary. And then I got Connie used to them. And then my parents died. And then they got scared again.

I'll never get used to this. I promise. She sighs and she goes, but you know, he poisoned the king. And if somebody did that to my parents, to the realm that they fought for, I don't think that's forgivable. At first, when I first saw all this stuff happening,

I thought that they were hypocrites talking about pullers mercy and all that when we would do this, but I realized there are monsters out there, Bev. And sometimes the greatest mercy is to take them away from us. You're so cool. She goes, I know. She puffs her cigarette. You see Merrick Highhill finishes the last rites,

the vizier extends his neck, your father swings the blade, and Aguene puts her hand on your shoulder, and she goes, don't look away. I want to, with all my heart, but I grab her hand back and I watch the blade fall. Shields your hand. You see the visears head is severed from his neck and rolls forward. There was a roar from the crowd, but the soldiers stay quiet. Some of them say quiet prayer, and you see up on the stage your father turns to you. And at first he looks empathetic or even like ashamed,

but he kind of hardens and hides his emotion. Just this sense of duty, this thing that he had to do that he doesn't want to do. And then you're back in hell. And you see this devil looking back at you with the same look. I walk into his line of vision and I do what I did that day. I hold up the green teen salute and I look at him with a mixture of hate and love.

and I look at him with a mixture of hate and love. You see, completely emotionless, he finishes ripping the angels' wings off, throws him to the side, shakes his head, and goes, you shouldn't have come here, Bev. You know he had too, Dad? You shouldn't have come here, Bev. You know I had too, Dad? You know I had to try. Even if things have to in certain way, I have to try to prevent them from reaching

that point. You always have to try. Always. My deal... with the nine hells... said I wouldn't have to hurt you in the Fey Wild. But if you try to get deeper into hell, Bev, I'm gonna have to stop you. Just tell me how to fix this. Just tell me, the further down we go, the more complex it gets.

You see he was, you know, like silhouetted against a window. He punches through the window. It shatters. You see, like as soon as it hits the air, fire started blowing out from behind him. You see he's got like this blackened steel armor and this like crusader's helm. You can still see his eyes. He rips his helm off and he goes,

I'll tell you what to do, Bev, you turn around and you face the allah, the one who took our home from us. Pick a side, Beverly. Yes, sir. He'll just hand out to you. He'll start walking. And as I'm walking, I try to reach out to the spores.

I try to reach out to the ambulance. I try to reach out to anything that isn't this, that isn't this duty, that I've always felt deep down. Who, what would you like to reach out to? Who or what would you like to reach out to? I would like to use the lesson I've learned from Pallor to basically use Pallor as my satellite to bounce into my fungal network of friends. Great, go ahead and make a religion check and we'll see if you'll be able to between this religion check and moonshine's newly formed fungal powers. We'll let you roll with advantage.

Oh boy. 17. Moonshine, you feel Beverly in this moment. It's faint. It's far away. I'll say with a 17, you can't get to hard one or balanore but you have a faint connection to moonshine. I don't want to go. I don't want to go but I have to. It's my duty. I have to do this. Okay, young and I want you know I will love you whatever you choose to do. But here's my two cents. A child has a duty to his father, but a hero has a duty to the world. Now I've got my opinion of which you are, but it's time for you to decide. Where would I be without the wisdom of the Crick? Where would I be without Polar's lie?

Deeper in hell than we already are, that's for sure. That's for sure. I nod to myself. I stop walking. Dad. Dad, all I want is for you to be proud of me and to be happy. That's why throughout this whole journey, all I've done is just basically collect people that I thought were as cool as you. But I can't go any further.

If I join you, then my friend's fate is uncertain, and I have to stand with them because... there they hammer that forges the light of the lore into the sword that I wield. And without them unlost, even more lost than you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, too, Beth. You see, he draws his sword. Same sword, he uses that day. And that's where we'll end our session. No! Good Lord! Good Lord!

You killed me, Murphy! I have to take a bath! I need to go on a long walk, man. Sweet pea! You ruined my night, Brian! Oh, I'm excited for these. I'm excited for these 1v'm excited for these one V1. Oh my God.

Oh my God. My good Lord. It's gonna be quite a short rest. Save it all for the short rest. I have many roses to give. I love those. I love those. We'll talk a little more about this on the short rest.

I love the reaching out to the friends and the thin fungal network. Yeah. If, I mean, I'll say it right now, but you'll hear more on the short rest rest if I had rolled worse on the religion check I don't think I could have I don't think I could have done it. Thank you. What if I'd have gone? Yeah, but more on that later Very fun cool guys. Yeah, very fun. I love it guys patreon.com slash nad pod

That's n-a-t-t-p-o-d don't sing yet Shrown.com slash nad pod that's n-a-t-t-t-p-o-d don't sing yet. Not gonna be this huge. No one's gonna sing anyway. I'm one, my god. My name is Bob Ozgun. Actually, hard one's in the best position. Yeah. I've got to just got my butt kicked by like six year olds.

Right. I'm fine. Yeah, you're good. What's happened before? It'll happen again. Yeah, we got some things to plug guys on Fridays on pop TV. You can watch me inely sketch show hot date. Hell yeah, it's on at 10 and 10 30 can also download the pop now app to check

out all 10 episodes called what he got. Oh, coming up in November November 16th. That's right. It's big city greens a season to what is that wacky family farmers going to get up to? What's Tilly going to do next? We're still going to do next. You're going to have to tune in to find out.

All I can tell you is that a lot of Dinesense of Ex City are gonna be very mad at them. Ooh. Ooh. Jake, what do you got? Check out my family businesses. Yeah. My boss sells cookies, my sister sells beer oil.

My dad has a tax firm. Ooh. I pay taxes. That's where you gotta go, but I'm selling in Wallman every month. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. What else, what else?

My aunt works that the Yale Art Gallery goes for a sis lovely. That's rad. Yeah, it is kind of cool. That's a cool job. It's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool,

it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, that's a good idea. Yeah, I'll tell you. Other sister oils tax code. Yeah. He does do our taxes. Consolidated. I'll under one umbrella I think. Sweet guys and follow us on Twitter. At CH Murf is me. Add Caldia's called well. Adi acts for his Emily and at J. Kerbitz's Jake.

And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod. That's NADDPOD. We are. We are. We are. The youth of the nation. We are. We are. The youth of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Dylan B, Danny P, Steelbreaker, and Spencer Caskbrew, a crew of Scullywug pirates who have fully reformed and now spend their days summoning teenage crackings to high school where they belong.

Beardman Dan, Hermes W, Spartus, Atomar, Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, a group of orcs that Professor Dutdle also experimented on, unlike Stunkbug, Dutdle taught these orcs to be Dorks, and now they're all making six figures coding speaking stones in the cushy inner bubbles of Esri. Then we've got Howdor Frostback, Multifor, Jordan DJ, Jeffery S, and Cutter W, a pack of Frostwind Knowles who have stopped following Yanooba and begun worshipping an even bigger, even hungrier entity known only as Garfield. Super The Mushroom, Elena C, Mixologist Michael McD and Andrew M. Four of the Angels whose wings were ripped off by Beverly's dad.

Now they can wear normal shirts and sit in booths at restaurants. Thanks Beverly Senior, Super smart and generous idea. Then we've got Victor T.A.K.A. Balmors boy, Justin I, Jacob C, and Elena M, four of the Spores and Moonshines new and improved Fungal Network. These Spores main job is to remind her to Spores him for 18,

and they're doing a kick-ass job. Mick Pux, Earl and Kathleen L, Jive G, and Jostridge, four other demons that were on ill-sets' text chain with the band of boobs, they didn't respond in the chat because they were all too busy, screen-capping picks of ill-sets getting owned to post online later. Demul R, Destiny C, and Devon B, the three dwarven blacksmiths who created the King's Hammers, currently kicking themselves for not including a tiny hot tub somewhere in the designs. Sergio Célezar Solomon Sacarius, Dei Siquani, Michael L, and Sam H. A squad of chosen guards

who drank so much milk, they ended up in gluttony. Fortunately for them, the giant hellworm is super lactose intolerant. Then we've got Traylee, the crayfay, Aaron G, Alucard, and Jory S, a crew of legit saters and trisses who just wanted to chill with the band of boobs and hell. It's a shame they wouldn't stop their boat. These guys had tickets to Fetchella. Babydoc, Atom H, Ryan, and Troy McCee, the other four drummers in Pender Greens new metal band Ratnuts, a band with five drummers, no guitar, no bass, but there

is a screamer and three singers. Big Buck, Richard X Machina, cannibalistic Cthulhu, and Sam L, a crew of chill devils who hang out on the hidden 10th level of hell, which is just an endless, ultimate frisbee course. Manverse is feverishly researching how to get there to join them. Dom R, Josh S, Blitzbrigg, Demetri, and Caleb Storm, four of the lost souls from the Bronze Bastard battle who ended up having to stay in the 9 Hells for their heinous crimes. Their crime, shaking up Balnor's bud-heavy and ruining.

One of his periwinkle life is good, crew neck sweatshirts, how dare you. Nicholas C, Mike H, Matthew E, and Samuel B, a squad of monsters in the gluttony beast's belly, unlike their hungry brethren, these ones are just a bit peckish. They could eat though. Till for G, Colton B, engage M,

the only three person squad in the Glade Home Wizard tournament. They were eliminated first, but still, wow, that's a small team. Great effort, guys. Aaron C, Bohumia's fiercest, L&D, TJM, the gnome barbarian, and a trust, the traveler, a crew of charcane dealers, who have a real hard time making money

because it's tough to outwit a devil. You gotta bring that stuff to Bohumiya gang, plenty of boobs there. Anime intellect, Zolo Dolo, Larissa J, Dylan Cm, the wannabe DM, and Kelvin Noodle's a friend group who rolled deep to the honey trap casino wearing matching suits, top hats, and canes. They ended up meeting up with the flying sword after his battles and man, can that guy drink just a crazy great night with great

pals. B-Money, Jay, Heartless Master and CC Lulu. The morning zoo crew that backs up Balnor on his famed radio show, Bagganit with Balnor, they love to prank all Rene's and play the turbo Timmy Tuna song when he asks for their next sizes. It's a great bit. Paul B, Barnes & Aitor, Eric G, and Zach C, a group of dwargor construction workers who have had to work overtime to repair all of the damage the band of boobs did with their drill car, luckily their union, and they're going to get a lot of mithril for this.

Joshua C, Aiden R, L.E.K., and Luke H.A. Hyper, religious chosen dance crew that will serve you with sick headspins while serving theala. Their motto is, praise the goddess, drink milk, dance like she is watching. I'm hopeless. Timmy R, Alex M, and Aaron RS, a crew of devilish minions hiding around the corner, waiting to attack Beverly, but feeling awkward about interjecting in the whole father vs son thing, they're just gonna kinda lay low until it feels appropriate. Lucas B, Rube and A, Jordan L, Laura S, and Jay Parker, a crew of rotten mushroom people

who are just waiting to pounce on the little mushroom guy that moonshine saved. There's nothing this sick, sick mushroom crew loves more than ganging up on a lonely, shroom dude and kicking his ass. Have a heart, guys. Austin C, Austin MR, just a pissed off Tris A.K. touch it and Kaylee Elise. Each one of these people is trapped in the greed level of the Nine Hells for eating their roommates leftovers. They search an endless fridge for Troy's leftover general sows but alas, they've already eaten it. And they'll never eat again.

Dev and W. Shenoa B. Jared E. and Persephone a monster truck crew that fought in the battle of the bronze bastard. Though their exploits happened off-mic, know that they did run over a minotaur with their spiked wheels, then backfliped and landed on top of Josh's car before exploding and flying off into the river sticks. So sick. Reese, NS, Balan the Bard, Jackie, Haley, Eric and Andrea B, a crew of Ram Assassins, Ram Assassins, if you will, who were hired by Ryan to get revenge on Hard one.

As Hard one descends the layers of Hell, a small crew of goats plot behind him, waiting to show him the true meaning of Hell. Steven C, Diane W, Maxwell C, Mike K, and Michael M, a group of bullywugs wearing bullywugs skin costumes. Redundant, yes. Grotesque, of course. But damn are they convincing, this group fully passes as regular old nude bully wugs. Omriam, Kaliml, Charoarcadius, Scott D, and Noothar, the prodigy ranger, a crew of chaste

goat men, blood doesn't make them horny, in fact it makes them queasy. The only thing they're horny- for is scholarly pursuits like reading, writing, and arithmetic. Ah, did somebody say math? Now that is a oot. Shane B, the pinch, Dan, Richard C, and Karen T. Nana Kineleaf's knitting circle. This rady group is known to turn out a full, friggin' quilt in an afternoon. All they need is a pot of tea and a handful of worthers. Jawsnack, Curtis S, Michael C, BJL, Nikki W, and Andrew B. Lifeguards at the Gladehome Congressional Waterpark. They have one of the hardest jobs in the realm since Crake Young and seemingly openly

wished to die by drowning. Thankfully, they are paid a six-figure salary in brown leaves. Christopher B, Pete C, Baris and Ken of the Wizard's Tower, Jonathan, the Arcadian game Smith and Nicholas P, Hard One's Horde of Rams. That's right, Hard One is starting a small farm, and these lucky Rams can look forward to a long life of full bellies and warm nights in their barn, sleeping alongside, friend of fur, Hard One's Shorefoot. I wonder who wrote that one. Robert F. Sharon G. Kevin M. Jake L. And finally, do be astray, the rest of the Euro Sators crew. You thought there were only three?

No way. This is a wrecking crew. And they are hitting the streets of Abiza tonight. For tonight, my friends is forever night. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners and all of our Patreon subscribers and our whole Council of Elders. You can head on over to our patreon patreon.com slash nadbot. To listen to our after show the short rest, we'll catch you guys next week.