Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 81: Greed, Anger, Heresy (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: October 31, 2019

Use our link http://vrv.co/pawpaw to get a 30-day ad-free trial of VRV Premium!The Band of Boobs face off against their rivals, separated on three different layers of Hell! Hardwon duels for a Kingshammer, Moonshine channels Marabelle, and Beverly battles his father. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."Gypsy Violin Variation" by Howard Geisel at Freesound.org."Arkansas Traveler" by Ecfike at Freesound.org."The Bronzebeard Legacy" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's a Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."The Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."The Blows of a Friend, Not a Foe" by Emily Axford."Snake Skirmish" by Emily Axford."Angels & Devils" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone. Bahumia.

Bahumia. Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Oh, Bahumia. Oh, Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jay Kerwitz. Hard one, sure foot. Emily Axford. Moon Giant's Abin from Crit to Zip from one little Zip. Oh, what?

I almost said from Crit to knit with, but then at the last second I decided Zip. I like it. I like it, both were good. Thank you. Nice to have a peak by on the screen. Wow, yeah, I just figured people have been asking, what is your writing process?

What is your method? And finally, called Well Tanner, Beverly Toe Gold, the fifth last of his name, the prodigal son who's not having fun. Oh. Poor baby. He's in the hell, hell is bad. But like you as a player are having fun though, right?

Long time no one a freaking blast. Okay cool. Just like his murp might have all really sad if he's having fun. I love this shit. I was bullying you man. Yeah. I'll edit out anything you say negative against anything about me in the show. This is the hardest work it would be to bully anyone. I'm going to tragic backstory for you loser. Stop it! Oh, leave me alone!

No much work I've put into making your fictional bad damn. Alright guys, let's do a little recap. So last week you descended from the lust layer of hell down to gluttony only to find yourself caught in the belly of a giant beast as acid rose below you and strange hungry monsters chased you, you were able to puncture the beast from the inside and escape, but were caught in a terrible storm, and swallowed by the ground beneath you as you were dragged into the depths of hell. You heard the voice of ill said vow to send you all to your own personal hell.

Hard one found himself in a cave full of riches with his nemesis Wilhelm Bronzebeard. Now in the form of a covetous dragon searching for the lost Bronzebeard King's Hammer, moonshine found herself in an area that looked to be covered in Crick-Rot, learning from a dying mycenaed that Meribel Spores had created a deadly clone

who then kidnapped Papa. And finally, Beverly found himself in a city of holy buildings set aflame and came face-to-face with his father. Bev Sr. offered to join forces in the battle against the alabab, but Bev stood his ground and said he needed to stick with his friends as a response Bev Sr. drew his sword. And that's where we are now. Oh, okay. That being said, we are not gonna start with Beverly. Oh, thank God.

We are going to start with, let's say moonshine. I feel like everybody's wondering where Papa is at. Yeah. moonshine, you feel where Papa is. You see in the distance, much like Maribel's hideout in the actual prick. You do see these giant capped mushrooms that form like a dark cave.

Okay. Am I in fungal form right now? Yes. All right, I'm just beating feet towards my precious rodent. Sweet. Moonshine, you run forward. And I will say everyone is at full health

with all of their stuff. You guys have, Munchine, you have just absorbed this mykinid who gave you his powers and joined your fungal network. And you are feeling powerful. Look, it's in the network, baby. Sounds like a cult. Yeah, Beverly, you are inspired by your holy mission and a hard one.

You've had a good display of faith from Mordyn, a third wind. Yeah. So Munchain, you rush forward and yeah, you see this fungal cave. You see a little bit of like fog and mist from the various poisonous spores inside. What do you do? Gustav Wendt, disperse the fog. Muchin, you cast Gustav Wendt, you disperse the fog. You see inside this Fungal cave and you see that the walls and floor are covered in mycelium,

this network of branch-like fungi that look like spider webs in the center of it all connected to the very fabric of the cave is a fungal being. Looks like a more crude version of meribel. Instead of being something that started as human and became a fungal monster, This is something that started as fun guy and is trying to replicate a human. Yeah, I'm trying to become a fun gal. And you see this monster. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It looks like Maribel with the webbed dress, but face is kind of like everything's not quite right. Just like the one eye is a little too low, other eye is a little too high. The hair isn not quite right just like the one eye is a little too low, other eyes a little too high, the hair isn't quite right, nothing is too proportion and looks at you and goes, we are mother, mother wants to kill the creek, we must kill the creek. Laura you are just one step to the left of beautiful.

Let's have this out. Because you know what, my name is Moon Shine Sabin and I'm here to fucking protect the crick on every single fucking plane. You hear? Rew, rew, rew. Papa cheers you on and you see him at the back of the cave like a fly caught in a spider's nest

pop-off caught in this fungal network up against the wall. This is so brutal. And then we're gonna cut over to hard one. Baby I'm getting you out of that web. Okay, we're gonna turn that web into a tutu and you're gonna dance your way out here. Cut over to hard one Hard one Wilhelm bronze beard has not noticed you yet

you sense that this stalactite Is hiding the bronze beard king Samar 60 feet in the air Okay 60 feet in the air. Okay. You know, I think it's your death need to get a hammer through the goddamn skull. Ha ha ha.

You see the dragon will helm Bronzebeard turns up and goes, who's done that? Looks, lock size with you. And he goes, hard one short foot. It surely is, hell, if I have to look at your face. Yeah, hey, you must have lived a pretty good life to find yourself a dragon in this fucking cave, right? Maybe it's not so bad after all. I suppose if I can't find the Bronzebeard King's hammer,

I'll just have to take yours. You're gonna have to get it from me and my daddies. I'm gonna call it. That's right. They fly out, hard one you draw your hammer. Thousands of other people around, but they are all just in their own little world, digging through these coins. And you see Wilhelm Bronzebeard launches himself off of the Goldpile, begins flying towards you.

I'm gonna need everyone to roll initiative. Okay, well, holy hell. 23! 13! And me, just kidding. No spawn, no spawn! 13. And me. Just kidding. No spawn, no spawn. 17.

And me. Ha ha ha. Okay, so the way I'm going to do this, we are going to run three separate one-on-one combat as one encounter. The way I've organized this, we are going to start with moonshine because she's at the top of the encounter. The monsters that you guys are fighting will go based on whether or not they beat your initiative.

So Moonshine is going to go before this fungal monster because she beats the fungal monster's initiative. Great. You're a goddamn hero Brian Murphy. Trying my best. Okay, so Moonshine, you are first. You see, Papa trapped in this web and this fake Maribel looking at you. All right, pretend. I must destroy you.

Kill the Crick, become the Mima. We are mother, mother is Mima. All right, pretend or pretend this doesn't hurt. And then I do guardian of nature. And so I attack with advantage and because I have open accuracy, I get to reroll one of them. Okay, and does a 19, I mean does a 29 hit. 29, yes. So I do an extra D6 of force damage. I also do an extra D6 of spores damage. Now, tell me ahead of time, shall I roll? It does poison damage, not affect this monster.

Moonshine, go ahead and give me a wisdom check. 23. Moonshine, as you know, you fought Maribel, you know that when you fight these fungal monsters and stuff they usually have resistance to poison. As you reach deep within yourself, now that you have these Maribel spores as part of my network. As you do your spores damage, you hear a voice in your head go, you can use the power of death to defend life. And ha ha. 26 and then another 18. Wow.

Can Moonshine bite my dragon? Ha ha ha. Moonshine, you rush forward. You swing into this false meribel. There's a burst of spores. You hear a bunch of them break off into these little mushroom monsters. Mother, mother, mother.

As they fall apart, and then you spores, and it does this rotten decaying acid damage, the most powerful severe spores you've ever done. Yes. You see much like when you fought Maribel, this monster has these three pseudo pods and starts whipping them at you. Ooh, that is a natural five,

that is not gonna do it. That's a 20 to hit. That does it. Okay, 20 hits, second one hits, and then does a 19 hit? No. Okay, so just hit. It whiffs big. Once.

Oh, one soothing close. With the pseudo pods, that is 19 damage. And then you see this fungal monster opens her mouth and goes, spores you, just like mother, just like mother, and vomits out this poison damage at you. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Twenty. That is a pass. You don't even take half.

You dodge out of the way you roll back. Did you think this is my first experience with poison? I know more about poison than you. You don't even take half. Woo! You dodge out of the way, you roll back. Did you think this is my first experience with poison? I know more about poison than you. Don't call mother a bitch. Well, mother's acting like a bitch, I'm gonna fuck car bitch. We are mother.

Just like twitching, it doesn't, like, isn't totally in there. You're so sad, I almost wanna give you child. Give me child, it turns over to pop on pets and up against the wall. No, you'll keep your hands on it. That's my child. Then we are going to cut over to hard one and will helm, will helm beat your initiative.

God damn it. So this dragon is going to fly forward. The first thing it's going to do is use its fire breath. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw, hard one. 22. That is a pass. You're just gonna take half of this. 59 damage.

Hav't. Good Lord. So that's just gonna be 29. Okay. Then that is your turn I guess I'm in heaven after all I get to kill you and get a King's hammer. Hey, not so fast Daddy's let's get this guy Does a 19 hit him?

19 does hit him and as you run up through the fire dodging to the side run up with your hammer The door of in daddy's are gonna take cracks at him. So he's gonna roll save 13 so it's a fail go ahead and roll your 3d8. Don't worry bronze beard. You're still in hell They're gonna do 10 damage nice Fuck you bronze bid they're not even the real king man What impossible They're kind of right man hot then how much damage is your attack 19 damage 19 damage I'm swing into him holy hammer of moradin it doesn't feel good to be hit with it right you just want to hold it

Right, you just want to hold it. You're right to me. 22 to hit. Hits. This is what you want to hold. 20 damage. Damn. Go off, Kings. Go off, Kings.

And I beefed it with one. Yikes. You pissed yourself a little bit. You're still a little bit afraid of him, maybe, just from your time as a teenager. Hard wire didn't mean that I always think he's going to walk in on me feeling out this daughter. Hahaha.

And then we're gonna cut over to Beverly and his father. You see this hellish landscape, everything is a flame, Bev, your dad beat you to the jump. He has pulled out his sword as soon as you defy him, he just screams out, you never listen, Beverly runs forward with his sword as soon as you defy him, he just screams out, you never listen, Beverly. Runs forward with a sword, he is going to use a bonus action to cast staggering smite,

and then he is going to take a swing at you with a sword amongst the fire. Twenty to hit, doesn't hit, doesn't hit,es, a big time roll back out of the way. I listen, I just don't like what you're trying to say. Oh, did you dare talk back to me, Bev? Second attack is gonna hit. So the staggering smite is gonna do 12 damage and then make a wisdom saving throw. Don't embarrass me in front of my dad.

I embarrass myself in front of my dad. Wisdom save. Oh, my wisdom saves, okay. 14 plus 418. 18 is gonna do it. Yes, I was thinking. You know how high level paladin, right? That's, yeah.

Wow, okay, so you just take the 12 damage, but you steal yourself. You are not too rattled, but then you are still gonna take his long sword damage, 25 damage. Oh, okay, I'll talk about, right? Yeah.

And then he is going to take, usually against corporal punishment bell, but in this case, I think you've earned a spanking. Listen to yourself. He rolls a natural three on the next one. He's resisting, I can feel it deep one. Ha ha. He's resisting. I can feel it deep inside. That is your turn, Bev.

Can I do an insight check to see if I can determine what sort of energy my dad is fighting with, whether it be radiant or necrotic or something like that? He's necrotic. You're dad and your dad's a dang devil. Oh boy. But dang devil, Bev. Just don't say it like that? He's necrotic, you're dad. You're necrotic. Your dad's a dang devil. Oh boy. But dang devil, Balfe. Just don't say it like that. But dang devil.

Oh, that's worse. That's even worse. And I'm okay with it. You're not. I don't really have emotions anymore, Balfe. I'm okay with everything. You know, Dad, despite it all, it's really nice to rough house with you again.

Showed up. Ah! I'm not enjoying it. Not even enjoying a rough house. Who are you? What have you done with my dad? If we were in the pool and I was throwing you around, I'd try to drown you, you little rat. I can feel just the truth in his words and it's staying so hard, harder than any smite. Okay, I am going to draw upon the power of my friends,

Emperor and cast haste. I gather holy energy in my hands, and I apply it upon my yippy, skipping boots, turning them into the fanciest, most golden boat shoes you've ever seen. Those are ostentatious, but they're quarter loafers. How much you spend on those? You don't got that kind of money, Beth. I actually wish you.

I am rich and friendship, dad. Also, we're really rich in real life. You see, they're penny loafers, and on the left shoe, there's a coin with hard ones face, and on the right shoe, there's a coin with machines ones face and on the right shoe, there's a coin with Bounders on the the souls I'm gonna pill for those coins. They look valuable And then as a bonus action I'm going to cast Vow of Inmidi on my dad sweet cool That is D&D in a nutshell

That is D&D in a nutshell. Oh, I didn't. That's really dumb stuff, P&D. I cast BOWM. I cast BOWM on my dad. Yeah, there we have it. It's like in the real world, I would maybe send him a stern text, but in D&D, nope. Yeah. And not to owe teacher myself, but since you cast He, don't you get an extra action

that you can use to make one attack? Is it? Does that happen this turn? I think so, right? Yeah, I guess I'll do an attack. Sweet, this is my dad. I cannot goof in front of him. I'm gonna use true strike.

Oh yeah, you get to do that as a free action. Yep, all right, cool. Shout out to the dude. Oh, so fun. I'm making terrible. Oh boy. Wow, there it was. I'm going to beef it, though.

I'm not going to beef it. Just like you did at people. I feel good. I feel good. It's going to. Sometimes you are a little overbearing, and that causes me to beef it. I get my own head.

No! Wait, wait, oh, wait. Yes, yes, yes, yes! Did you get a nat one, which isn't that 20? I knew it, I knew it! Hold on, I guess it's gonna be a 20, I just know it is. So you leave? You crit, because of the blessing, because of the curse blessing.

Because of the curse juice. You did drugs at a casino in hell. I drank some some weird booze and now I'm gonna beat you up dad This is who I am now Jesus you so you crit I crit Kind of smite would you like to do I'm gonna do a divine smite like I do I'm not gonna do a fourth level because I want to hold that for something. I'm gonna do a third level smite I'm not gonna do a fourth level, because I wanna hold that for something. I'm gonna do a third level, Smite. 73 damage.

Holy shit. That's it. Your dad rushes forward, takes a couple swings at you, you dodge one, you get hit with a staggering smite, you resist, your equilibrium's thrown off for a second, but you steal yourself, sword comes up as you block his next strike, you cast haste on yourself, you speed up,

you parry, and you stab into him, explosion of holy energy, as he staggers back. I'm sorry. Are you though, that was pretty bad, eh? You stabbed your dad. I'm sorry, dad. This hurts me more than it hurts you. I don't know, that hurt a lot. Did look pretty bad. I'm sorry dad this hurts me more than it hurts you. I don't know that hurt a lot

Did look pretty bad. I'm sorry Papa. That is back up to Moon Chin I'm going to try my feet which is that if I do minus five to an attack I get plus 10 damage Shit, okay since I'm a roll with a bandage getting Elven accuracy It's a best chance. I can't go for it. Does a 24 hit. It does. Ha ha ha. That evil cackle, that evil expert cackle. Cackling more than Maribel. 42 damage.

She's so cute. And then I spores him for another 18. Oh my God. Woo, I'm a great weapon fighter baby. Ha ha. You a bunch more of these spores explode off of this pretender, Maribel. Mother will get you.

We will get you. We are mother. Swings, pseudopods at you. First one, natural four. That's a big mess. That is a grit on the second one. And that is a 25 on the last one. So that is two hits. Bring hits bring it on come on try and get what I got on you, huh? Based on your first round. I don't think you can I shouldn't talk like this

37 on the crit 20 on the regular attack and then go ahead and do a dexterity saving throw as she tries to vomit spores at you 9 that is a fail You take 20 poison damage Okay, that is will helm bronze beards turn We are back in the you guys by the way are all in different layers of hell we are back in greed Okay some different layers of hell. We are back in greed. Okay, make sense, that was. Whereas I call it heaven. Give me that hammer, boy.

You're gonna have to come and take it, you ugly dragon. He is going to try to take it from you. Oh, I was joking. Go ahead and do an opposed strength check. I am gonna use a luck point. Okay. 20 not net.

20 wins. You're able to yank it back. I'm gonna say that was his bite attack. He's gonna take a two claw attacks at you. Give it to me. That's my hammer. It should be mine. You know, you're desperate.

It's very unappealing. That's 21 to hit. That just it unappealing. That's 21 to hit. Not just hits. 21 to hit and a 30 to hit. Those two. Both hit. Klautax hits. 29 damage total.

Okay. I'm gonna tie my hair up in a hellish hair bun and give them some hellish rebuke there. He's immune to fire. Okay. I'm just a bit too boy. Well, I am gonna leave my hair up in the bun because the top knot looks awesome. That's a dwarven top knot. Take it down.

I'm more of a dwarfs than you, you fucking dragon. You see, he looks super offended by that. What? Is he a dwarf sized dragon? No, he's a big old guy. The bronze beard is one of the kings in my Oh, what? Is he a dwarf-sized dragon? No, he's a big old guy. The Bronzebeard is one of the kings in my hammer, right? Yeah. Cool. What do you think of your loser-ran sister here?

Yeah, you stupid dragon. Whoa. How dare you? How dare you tear my family? I gave you the other, man. Your family? You killed your fucking daughter. I did kill. I just hired someone

I mean I was going to get further good of my name. I'm gonna hit him right in the mouth with the hammer 29 hit 29 hits 20 damage sweet. I'll keep it going 28 to hit 15 damage nice hit 15 damage. Nice. Crit 19, not a 20. 19, this is what I wanna do for Neuver. You're edging.

Yeah, I really am. Walking that tight rope, 36 damage. And he passed his save, but you can still roll your three D8s, and he'll just take half. My dad's rolled pretty bad. That's only a five damage. Five damage, so.

Let's just say all came from his great, great, great, great, great grandfather. Yeah, just bronze beard runs forward. Stupid guy talking about who's the dwarf, who's not a dwarf, walking around. He's a freaking dragon, stupid dragon. I just pounded on him with a hammer. Damn, colds, and bronze beard pretty mad, huh? Had an invented insults, yeah. Well, just the Nielandland going in on him.

That is back over to Bev Sr. Okay. And Bev Jr. Oh, in heresy. You see Bev Sr. looks at you and he goes, I guess I'll have to get a bit tricky to beat you young pup.

And he is going to use his phase step ability. You see he flies back into the broken window in the fiery chapel. You see he summons an orb of fire and chucks it at you. Go ahead and give me a dick-staryty saving throw. Oh, I was hoping it would be that because I can use my Elven Shield to add plus three. Oh yeah, cool.

Also, I get advantage on dexterity saving throws with haste. So, let me roll that again, because that was a five. 15, that is not gonna do it. So, you, although half of it is fire damage, half of it is necrotic damage. So, you take 16 fire damage, it's already halved, and 35 necrotic damage. So you take 51 damage total.

Wow. And go ahead and give me a concentration check. Oh. Shut up to the two crew. Jesus. Fireball explodes, breaks your concentration, no longer at haste. You see your dad disappears into this fiery chapel.

You're finally learning how to goof. That is your turn. Okay. I guess I'll run into the building. Okay. Actually, I want to kind of like slowly walk in, kind of taking my surroundings, making sure he's not going to jump me.

Sweet. You, as you enter, you recognize this as being the exact chapel that you went to growing up, but it is, it is just on fire and destroyed. You see the stature of Polor holding the beach ball, his head has been removed. You see all of the moss and the like flower beds down the aisle is all burnt and singed and there's just smoke and fire everywhere. Go ahead and give me a perception check to try to find your dad. There we go.

18. 18, you are able to locate him because of your sense evil, but he's like kind of hiding in this like black smoke. I think he probably knows that I know where he is, or at least like he knows what my abilities are. So I just kind of like start walking towards him and I say, it doesn't have to be like this, dad. Just resist, resist what's calling to you and then together we can take down the yalla. It's just not the order you want, but we can still achieve so much. It doesn't have to be like this. Especially here of the smoke.

You recognize like a look of concern on his face and then he just looks up at you and he goes, I don't remember that at all. The tears that roll down my face double as a touch hand spell. Yeah. As I try to hold it together. So I'm going to use this turn to just heal myself back up. Okay, great. That is back up to moonshine. I think I'm just, I think I'm just banging again.

Okay, clanging bang. 26 hit. 26 does hit. 32, spores are for 18, and then I'm going in a bonus word or bonus action healing word myself out of fifth level Wow Then that is the pretenders turn Come on bring it on come on. You know Maribel couldn't kill me either Mother can kill any one mother kill you want to be every critical

Honestly right now you're trying to be her. If you really want to be her, you would also fall to my sword. You hear a voice in your head go, now you're my niece, so I'm going to try to... Are you here? You have my spores in you. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You're kind of using your name. Is this how you talk about me? I'm not around. I'm so sorry. You're kinda using your name. Is this how you talk about me, friend? I'm not around.

I'm sorry. Honestly, this creature I'm fighting, I do not believe is the most intelligent, so I do not feel as though I'm just trying to go then. I'm trying to go then, trying to get them to an emotional space. It's sort of a battle tactic. I'm sure you're familiar.

Anyways, I promise when I get home, I'm gonna write, Maribel goes spores. Okay. You're three spores. you hear her glaring at you. I'll have to write by you. Takes first, pseudo-pot attack. That is only an 18. Misses. Next one is going to hit.

That's a 22, and the last one misses. Stop laughing. Stop laughing That is 20 damage and then go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw as once again she tries to vomit on you Mother vomit Fail 32 damage. Oh fuck her now. Don't get to do anything fun on my next turn. Oh, that is Back to greed willhelm and hard one. Wilhelm is gonna roll to see if he gets his fire breath back, and he does, but he's gonna hold off for now.

He is going to, once again, try to grab your hammer, go ahead and give it a loan. Yeah, and oppose to strength check. 17. It was a 23 for Will Hell. Hard one, as you go to swing into him one of the times, he launches forward, bites down on your wrist, you lose your grip, and the hammer falls down. He uses one of his claws to grab it.

And you see as his claws go over it, it like sinks into some of the coins and is like covered by one of his claws. And then he's gonna use the other claw to attack you. That is a four. You dodge out of the way. You do a backhand spring. I sure do.

That is your turn, hard one. out of the way, you do a backhand spring. I sure do. That is your turn, hard one. Are my dwarf daddies back in the hammer now that I'm not holding it anymore? I'm gonna say it breaks your concentration, so the dwarf daddies are gone for the moment. All right, cool. We had a good run.

I am going to... I am going to throw my javelin at the stalactite that has the other Kings in it. Fucking hell yeah. Um, go ahead and make an attack roll. I'm gonna use a luck point, okay. Doesn't 18 hit the stalactite. It does.

Ha ha ha. I'm gonna, maybe I It does. I'm gonna call lightning on that. Yeah, it's a good idea. It's a big sturdy rock. Like exploding it with some kind of magic is much better than just throwing, you know. Oh, okay, I'm gonna try to explode it with a bunch of stuff. This is some thorshtit. It's so good.

27 damage. Hard one. You throw your javelin, it hits the stalagite, there's an instant crack in the stone, and it begins to shift, and then there's an explosion of lightning as a lightning as a King's hammer, identical to your own, except glowing orange instead of blue, begins falling from the ceiling, and Will Helm looks up at it. How did you know that was there? How long you've been looking for this thing?

I thought it like three seconds. Ah, flies down. You can make an athletics check to grab it. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm gonna use my final luck point to undo that mat one. Whoa. Dude, 20 not net. 29 net, you catch it in the air.

You've only used one attack, you can do two more with the hammer. Fuck. Yeah. Were you looking for this? Let go of that, that's mine. 23 to hit. Does the ice room does the same kind of damage?

Yes, that hits. Yes, it does. It will do a D6 of fire damage and a D10. He's usually immune to fire damage, but from the hammer, it bypasses his resistances. Cool, so that's 19 damage on the first attack, but my second overall. And then does a, an 18 does not hit him. And 18 does not hit him, no.

I'm going to use my action surgeon to keep on hitting him with his own hammer. Sweet. 17 doesn't hit. He did it as a 16. Ooh, but a 28 will. Super does. 22 damage. Will Helm is starting to look messed up

and he is frazzled. This should be rejecting you out right here, not a real dwarf. Basically like I have two hammers, man. I have one of your hammers. I have the other hammer. You see, as he goes to like lift it up with his claw The hammer is like a magnet drawn to you and he's having to like hold it down

It's like it is rejecting him the cold-dane hammer. Oh So sorry to see that I'm just whole thinking like this is how I hold hammers really there's nothing weird about this before not being weird Like this is how I hold them or something. There's nothing weird about this before. Not being weird. It's going well. Anytime you have to say, I'm not being weird. I'm not being weird.

Having a normal one. That is back up to Bev and Bev Senior. Bev Senior is once again going to cast Staggering Smite and rush forward at you. Takes his first attack. That is only a 16 ahead. I miss his. You block with your sword.

Second attack is a 27 that is going to hit. That does hit. And his last attack is going to miss. So just the one, I am going to need you to make a wisdom saving throw for Staggering Smite. Come on. Don't disappoint your dad. I'm going to reroll that one. Yikes. That's a lucky little hapling. Mom! Don't disappoint your dad. I'm gonna reroll that one. Yikes.

That's a lucky little hapling. You've taught me well, father. 11 plus 4. 15. Okay, so that is a fail. You have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks and can't take reactions until the end of your next turn. Wow.

Question. Yes. If I have valve enmity, does that cancel out the disadvantage? Yes. So you will just one have advantage. Okay. And then you are going to take 13 damage from the staggering smite and then another 27 damage of just necrotic and long sword damage. Okay.

Huh. And that is your turn again. All right. So we're in this chapel. Yep. I kind of like, just your round. Like, right, so we're in this chapel. Yep, I kinda like gesture around like, you don't remember any of this? I used to fall asleep in the pew over there.

I would draw in the him the book. You have to remember. Bev, did you pay attention in any of your classes in anything? I am an anti-paladin, I am a devil, Beverly. While he's talking, I attack him. This way. The first thing I read in the book was the chapter about this.

Yeah, I flipped right to it. Right. Is there anything I would know about my dad in his condition and just what's happening right now that would help me here? Your dad, much like Maribel, your dad is not your dad anymore your dad He retains the parts of his personality that are the worst things about him Mm-hmm, and then other than that. He's just a devil that serves Ilsaid but he's does he still have a soul? No

Ilsaid has his soul. Yep. Okay. All right. All right, I guess I attack. Cool. Oh, just, oh, come on dad. It's real nice to be over here. In the cave with an unambiguous bite. Tell you that right now. Does a 20 hit? 20 does hit.

Actually, you know what? He's going to use his reaction and Perry at six days AC, he moves out of the way. Fudge you, dad. What did you just say the F word, Bev? No, it's a fudge. You're grounded. I said fudge is the F word.

You're not even allowed to say fudge. What, I can't say fudge. No, you can't say fudge. I can't freaking say fudge. You can say fudge when you're 18. This is bullhunk. He remembers the arguments that you've had. He doesn't remember any of the good stuff.

I remember telling you, you can't say, even say dang until you're 18. Oh, that's ringing way too true. I'll go in and attack again. Yeah. Okay, 25. That is gonna hit. And he's gonna parry or am I good? He can't parry again. That's a reaction. Alright, I'm going to use a branding smite and a divine smite.

I'm gonna do that double smite, little smite sandwich if you don't mind. One of those late-night dad sandwiches, but made of radiant energy. You dare use the power of the dads against me. I've taught well. I've encountered many fathers on this journey. And my quest to save your life. That's going to be 55 damage. It's a me papa. Wow. Explosion of holy energy. He doesn't like that one bit. There's a faint glimmer of pyloresh shoving a sandwich into his mouth.

That is back up to you, moonshine. Do I have a sense if a mushroom if fungus counts as a plant? Yeah I would say so. Don't at me. Then I think instead of doing the smart thing. Okay. I'm gonna go big. Okay I love it. Today this is the episode to go big. Well, it might be my death. Okay. I'm going to cast blight at a sixth level. Okay. Which if that if you target a plant creature or a magical plant it makes the saving throw with disadvantage and the spell deals maximum damage to it. So that would be 80 damage if it fails. Moonshine, finish her.

Mother come here. Say you my child, you want me to kill you? You want to be infected with Crick Rod? Yeah, I want I want to circle from the tea to mother maribal. And then I mind like I'm gonna some latter tea, but really I just suck all of the moisture from it until it is dehydrated mushrooms, which I save to use in a chicken stock later.

Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Moonshine, as you try out the core of this evil fungal form, you see her extremities fall apart and form these tiny mycanids. You see that whatever this central being was, ceases to have control of the network.

You see Papa falls down. Papa! Me! Me! Me! Okay! Papa runs over, jumps up to you. You know you're bringing the web, I made big talk about how we're gonna have you dance out here on the tutu. Papa puts some of my Sillyam around him and starts doing a little dance. And you see a bunch of these little Mykinids start surrounding you and holding their hands up. Mother, mother, mother! Ah, I don't want this kind of blind following. You followed a fool. Mother, mother, mother.

Just like choruses of it. They try to jump up and join your fungal network. Although nature over nurture, although in this situation it would be both because you are nature, but could I nurture you? All right, break it in. We'll work out the kings later. Munchine, you are swarmed by all of these various tiny micenids who join your fungal network. Do they feel good?

Like they are good presents? Are they evil? It feels like the power of death. It's not good or evil. All right. It is like, um, Maribel, Maribel. That's not a good thing. Bring it out.

Bring it home, children. Yeah, these are, these are Maribel's spores. They're Maribel's spores. All right, you know what Maribel? I know I was talking shit about you, but I'm gonna do right by your spores They join your fungal network moon shine You will retain the ability now to be able to do acid damage instead of Poison awesome acid or an acotic, you can choose.

Oh, fuck yeah. And now you stand in the middle of this cave and you see the mycelium joins around you and makes like a little dress as you're kind of the fungal queen in the middle of this cave. And your fungal form is way more monstrous now. I mean, Q Robbins dancing with myself. Because I definitely just me and Papa have a little dance party. Oh, cute.

You and Papa have a dance party. I also do, I want to get, I want to use some hit dye to heal back a little bit. You want to take a short rest? Yeah, I want to take a short rest, but I kind of want to be like because I had that connection with Beverly earlier Uh-huh if I can spy on him in any way or if I can feel if there's you know To any of you guys have you have Rosalene. Does he have any kind of I too? I have a flying dagger. Yeah This episode of NAD pod has brought to you by bird dogs

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We promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. You can scryon Beverly so you can see his battle essentially. Yeah. You see where he is. He's far away. Battles are kind of a matter of seconds,

so it's not like you can just appear and help him, but you can see. All right, yeah. Do I have tree stride? Hard one has tree stride, yeah. Let's cut over to a hard one and will helm back on the greed layer of hell. You see, clenches his claws around the hammer that shakes there.

This is normal. This isn't weird. I hit me with it. Hammer versus hammer. Let's go. What are you called the Dwarven, Dathaler? I have ways of dealing with tall Dwarfins like you. Any breathes fire on you, uses his breath weapon, and hard one, you see the bronze beard, King's hammer glows, and for the first time, you will get to use its ability. Ooh.

Its ability lets you once a day do a spell called Absorb Elements at a fifth level. Oh, I like. What? What? Absorb Elements at a fifth level. What? Absorb Elements rules! So, hard one. First off, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw, because you probably are going to take a little bit of damage. That is a 20-not-nat sweet.

Okay, so you already take half damage, so he would have done 62 damage to you, but you dodge out of the way and You're about to take 31, but the hammer glows and absorbs 15 of the damage you only take 16 damage and the next time you attack you may do 5d8s of fire damage as you absorb this fire into your hammer. Awesome. Can I test that out right now? That is your turn.

You shouldn't have done that, dude. This truly is hell. This must be some kind of vision. This must be some kind of trick. Why would you be able to use the hammer? It doesn't make any sense. Here, I'll let you hold it. That's a 2019 hit super hits 19 damage 19 regular damage and then I do roll five D8s Sorry, it's actually D6's so go ahead and roll five D6's cool 15 damage He is looking

extremely injured Then I'm gonna hit him again with his hammer, hopefully. Ooh, but it's 16, he's not gonna do it. 16 doesn't do it. 26 will do it. We'll do it. 19 damage. Hard one.

Finish him. Yes, I'm gonna just jump up onto his big dragon head and say, here, if you're worthy, this shouldn't be that heavy, and drop the hammer on it. Uh, instantly just crashes down through his skull. The force of it smashes his face into the coins, just sizzling radiant damage going into his head as you press it down the fury of

Moriden boring into his skull Gemma says hey You press the hammer into his skull until there is nothing left Sick is that other King's hammer still here? So yeah, so there is now a giant sizzling hole in this dragon's head Bronze beard is no more he doesn't exist on any plane or perhaps he's some like tortured spirit in the river sticks now He is no longer a dragon you go down to The claws of his corpse and you lift one of them up and you see that the Koldain Hammer is still there. All right, cool. I got a little hammer collection like Beverly has Dad's.

You pick up the Koldain Hammer and you see Koldain reappears and he goes, got a little bit sweaty there for a second. Look at the yanked out. Yeah, I thought you guys just wanted a steam or something. Oh, very good man. Nice. That's what's up, a fist bump. I fist bump him. And he goes, it is up to you how you would use the hammers, but when the more than bestowed them upon us, the first d'Orvon kings, the hammers appeared as one great hammer. It is said that they could one day be brought back together. Well, okay.

I guess I might as well just start a small collection. We'll see what happens if we can grab that third one. But two is better than one for now. I so you take the Cold-Dane King's Hammer and you feel like a magnet they are like attracted to each other. I guess I'm gonna smash them together like two symbols. You smash them together You see the warhammer gets a little bigger a little bit more intricate It now has blue woven in with the red on the handle

You may now you get your dwarven daddy's back on the short rests You may now, you get your Dwarven Daddy's back on short rests. You can now also do the reaction-absorbed elements and it becomes a plus three hammer. So you've got plus three to attack and plus three to damage. This is a nice hammer. It's quite a wood block. Yeah, baby. Oh, I tested it out on my wood block.

You did a solid, a obliterates the wood block. No, what? But the family band. Oh, it's a blitter-a-dance that would block it. What? But the family band. That had a lot of sentimental value. Then we cut over to Bev. I'm watching. Munchan is watching. Oh, lies on me.

Bev's dad, once again, going forward with the staggering smite. First attack, misses, that's an 18 to hits. Next one is a 14 to hit that misses. Next one is a critical hit. Oh. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Okay. 17.

That is a fail. Oh. You take 30 damage from the staggering smite. Oh no. And then 55 damage. I'm down. Your father swings into you with this staggering, it might critical hit right in the chest, right in the heart, explosion of necrotic energy,

staggers you back, you feel yourself fading, and then your book begins to glow. And it feels like someone is using lay on hands on you. Like somebody is doing a healing touch on you. And as a paladin with your familiarity with magic and with holy light and everything, you know what it feels like when moonshine heals you. You know what it feels like when you have a healing potion.

This is the same lay on hands that your father would cast on you, like when you fell off a horse, when you were first learning how to ride. This is the lay hands that was used on you when you broke your nose using sparring swords when you were first learning to fight as a green teen. This feels more like your father than this monster that is in front of you. You are healed back up for 70 HP. I know you were still there. And one way or another, I knew. And I'm sorry for always falling. That's your turn. Alright.

I think I gotta take the moonshine approach. I think I gotta take the moon channel approach. I think I gotta finish this quick. I'm just gonna launch myself right in. 29 to hit. Oh that'll do it. Alright. Third level divine smite. Fuck your dad up. That's my final third level, which means I cannot Use revivify if I were to need it, but I think we're in a good spot. That's five d8s because it's Third level so four plus the extra d8 39 damage on the first attack He is looking fucked up. He basically like thought he had to kill shot on you, sword in your chest. All of a sudden your book starts to glow, chest starts

to heal up, sword, juts back out, and you swing on him burst of holy light. Don't ever say that I don't pay attention in class! All right I'm'm gonna attack again. Okay, 23 hits. 23, he is going to parry. Okay, block it. All right, cool, so he blocks that one. Black and white sparks are just flashing everywhere as we light up this chapel. And in my turn, I'll go ahead and as a bonus action cast shield of faith on myself.

Oh, sweet, to give myself an extra two AC. Oh, that's good. He is just going to swing down on you. Ooh, that is a shout out to the two crew. Yeah! That is holy shit. Shout out to the two crew. Oh, wow.

Come on, stop goofing around, Bev senior. The dice, devil. That's Christ. He does hit on the last one. Okay. 25 damage. And that's it, that's just 25 straight up. That's it.

All right. And then that is your turn, Beverly. So as my bonus action, I'm gonna go ahead and use the amulet. So I just wanna like get that out of the way. Okay, sweet. It's smart. The tides of the battle have turned.

Holy light of Polar shines bright from your amulets. You are this glowing beacon of hope. You see some of the fires start to go out around the chapel. Do I see any of those like weird wingless angels around? Yeah. Can I like rally them to my cause? Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. What was the name of that box that you were talking about last episode? Oh, kitten kaboodle. I have a kitten kaboodle full of feathers. I will give you beautiful rainbow wings. Come to me my flock. 20, not that.

Geez. Yeah, you see that there are two in here. One that was doing movements as if it was weeping. It was like curled in a ball and it gets up and it rushes forward and it starts wrestling with your dad, gives you the help action. It's gonna give you advantage on your attack. Nice, let's attack.

You got a body. And I'll say there's another one doing that too So you get advantage on both the rough housing with him. Yeah Everybody knock it off stop rough housing in church. He's ticklish under the knee. I'm not the right knee 21 to hit he's gonna parry that one. Okay. All right Shut up to the two Yikes roll with advantage more of the advantage Shut up to the two crates. Roll with advantage.

Roll with advantage. 21 again. That hits. Yeah! He can't parry twice. I know the parry. Alright. Yeah, I got one more second level slot, I believe.

So I'm going to use that second level smite. 30 damage. Beverly. Oh no. finish him. My sword glows with an even cooler gray light than it normally does. And I just walk slowly towards him. And I say, Walk slowly towards him, and I say,

Mom's waiting for you, and she'll keep waiting. You know how patient she is. She raised me for peace, sake. And I wanna try and cash banishment on him to send him to a place where ill said can't reach him. him to send him to a place where ill said can nine hells. You see a streak of white light shoots from your palm, hits your father in the chest, and he jerks back like he's in pain at first, and then looks baffled for a second looks at these strange angel monsters that he's fighting, looks at you, and you see he begins fading away. And he goes, thanks Beth.

I always, I knew I could make the deal because I knew you'd stop me. I never have to worry with you, and I don't want you to have to worry about me. Just be safe, and we'll be together again soon. I love you. I love you, Beth. Your father starts to weep and you see a vision of an angelic woman with a It's the dusk mother. The dusk mother. He's. Uh, and you see your father disappears with her. To a place where people can atone for their sins.

I dropped my sword, it clangs to the floor, and I hugged the space where he was, and then I fall to my knees. You see the two angelic figures next to you put their hands on you and try to comfort you. It's actually your hands are very dry. Dryly. It's really good to use like a little lotion or something like that. I'm watching this all first cry sword. I've got milk duds stuck in my teeth.

This is a damn, it was a good one, huh? I think I look over at the like, headless face of plow. And I just flash in my hangar loose sign. And then I collapse onto the floor and a ball and I weep. So Bev is in this chapel alone with the strange angel creatures, moonshine. Now that you have connected into Maribel's fungal network, you feel a deep understanding and connection to this layer of hell, to the earth here itself. You also happen to be in between the layer that the other two guys are on. You are in the fifth circle of hell, anger,

while hard one is on the fourth level, greed and Beverly is on the sixth level, heresy. Moonshine Maribel's fungal network is all along the top and bottom of this layer of hell, so you can literally move the earth. Okay, so I guess I want to hold my hands up to the ceiling and kind of like knock, looking for like the heaviest, hardest, most muscular presence, you know? Oh yeah, totally.

Like knocking to see like where it sounds like, oh, something up there is. Oh, hard one, go ahead and give me a strength check. Strength check. Yeah, just to see if you're the strongest up there, because there's a lot of people that have been digging up here for a long time. Oh yeah. That's a 14.

14. You see that there are some pretty jacked people that are going through. Yeah, a little bit more dreaded than jacked. Moonshan, you kind of feel pings in all directions. You know, it's lean arms, I would imagine. All right, then I just part the mycelium and pop my head up like a gopher.

Hard one? Hey, I'm like, for hard one. Hey, excuse me, I know that. I know that hard one over there. Hard one, you see in this one pocket of this floor of treasure. There's suddenly like a whirlpool of gold that drops out. And moonshine rises in a web of fungus.

Hard one, sure, foodies who I'm looking for. If I'm gonna help me. Here I am, right here. Yeah, wow, a lot of this gold just went into your pockets by accident, doubling your net worth, I might imagine. I did it in red, sir. I'm not sure you don't have to do shit. It's funny, like money, it's like a sense is if you don't care about it.

I've got me getting money. Wow. You look around at all of the people around you, just like coveting all of this gold and everything and digging through it and all of that. And Col d'ane, who's still like outside the hammer goes, I think maybe don't take anything from here. Okay.

Sort of a look, don't touch situations. I'll scoop some of the stuff from the pockets. Okay, yeah. That's fine. Honestly, like I said, we don't really want it. I don't give a shit. Um, Koldane, do you want to come? We're going downstairs. Yeah, I'm in the hammer, man. do you want to come? We're going downstairs.

Yeah, I'm in the hammer, man. Unless you want to leave the hammer. Oh, sorry, I thought that you had it. Okay, never mind. Yeah. Oh, damn. What's up with your hammer? Yeah, the hammer's gotten bigger.

I have not gotten smaller. Did you get into detail? Yeah, I got it. I polished it up. It's two hammers. So the hammer grew. The hammer grew. Not the inverse. I'm growing a little bit as well

In tandem the haircut. Yes, high and tight Singeed off by the dragon. Um, okay. Yeah. Well, um, Bev's Bev's in trouble. Okay. Not that I'm sure you wanted to stay in this layer of hell I'd love to leave by the way you look a little bit more ferocious than normal. Thank you In an excellent way my network is expanding. It's all about networking network and networks Yeah, I'm getting pretty good at networking I'll tell y'all about it later. Yeah, you know what nothing says hell like networking So true so true follow me It's gonna be real slimy. And I make a nice misaliyin path. I make a nice misaliyin, like sort of water park zoom flume down to the layer that bev is so that we can all kind of like pop out.

Hey, Richa, I hope bev is having as much fun as I am in hell. It's not good. I've been watching. I've been scrying. Oh. We're going into a sensitive situation. I will mention my new hammer right away. Yeah, I would say hi to the hammer.

Cool. Hi to the hammer, yeah. So together, you guys sink. Wait, do you know where Balnor went? Huh, I start digging furiously through the gulp. You instantly, you feel like you'll maybe find him if you just keep looking. Some true desire most.

I think I'm close, Moonshine. Okay, I grab him, zoom, flume. So you resume the flume, Moonshine you lead, hard one down from the fourth layer of hell down to the fifth layer and through the bottom of the fifth layer until you get down to the fourth layer of hell, down to the fifth layer, and through the bottom of the fifth layer until you get down to the sixth layer of hell, where Beverly is. You see burning buildings all around you,

and a church of Polar with the windows broken. You catch a glimpse of these strange angels on the inside, and Moonshine, you know, from scrying that this is where Beverly is. Okay, everyone, everyone. Everyone, I know that was fun, but we gotta put on our serious faces. I'm trying to stop smiling.

I know, I know. A while that was fast. I cast to create water and food. So, okay, okay, okay, let's go in. I think I slowly approach the church of Polar and I think I wanna like maybe call, maybe just look look in the window because I, you know, if he needs privacy. Yeah, Beverly, what are you doing inside the chapel? I think I've gotten up off the floor at this point and I am over by an open flame

and I am systematically taking all of the drafts of the letter that my dad wrote to me when I found his study in Galatoron and I'm putting them into the flame because I don't need them anymore. Okay, so we are going to wait for him to finish doing that. Harwan, do you have your woodblock? Because it might be fun to like go in family band style. Bad news about the woodblock. What? I smashed it to smithereens testing out my new hammer.

You sacrificed the family band for a fancy new hammer. I was trying to practice. Okay, well you're gonna have to find a new instrument quick. Papa, do you know how to whittle? Me? Papa really quick whittles together a very crude woodblock Well, you see pop up was like making a Christmas present for you Along way from where he wanted to get it

He's a coat of varnish, but this will definitely do Yeah, let's let's play a little tune a nice mellow one and I won't use my hammer I bring out new Bets bedsy and I play a tune that is nostalgic but not fully sad but not happy either. I keep perfect time. It feels like kind of like the kind of tune that will play when you're in like a warm in and you just got in from a snow storm. Uh, go ahead and do a uh performance check with advantage.

Uh, all that moonshad just do it with advantage. You give her a help action by backing her up. Type. 18. Woo! You guys sound pretty good. Um, Beverly, uh, in this awful dark place, you hear the sounds of your friends, playing a surprisingly good comforting tune. Hard one is keeping better time than ever. And Papa is wearing a tutu of mycelium and sort of doing like an interpretive

joyful dance. Wow, that sounds exactly like sitting by a fireplace. That's how I was going forward. It's like listening to cider. That's amazing. I hope you don't mind, but I checked in on you and I saw what happened. No that's I'm glad you were watching. I just know that in the coming days you are going to second guess if you did the right thing every single day and I want to be the first voice to tell you you did the right thing. I couldn't have done the right thing if it weren't for both of you. You are who I thought of in those moments.

I knew that even if I had to send my dad away, that nothing can keep me from continuing on with y'all. And I hugged them. It's hard for me to keep time and talk at the same time. It's actually very easy to do. The rhythm is kind of going to shit. I dropped the block. Puffa dives into the fire to grab it.

Puffa catches on fire and starts running around. Puffa, Puffa, Puffa. Whoa, wait a forage this thing. Stop drops and roles. I ask them if they want to join me in like a traditional go later on. Funeral tune doesn't seem right, but maybe like the tune you sing. Oh, and number one is tune.

Yeah, I remember it soon, or maybe like the tune you would sing in play for someone that's like going off to war. Absolutely. A good old fashioned Beverly haunted, haunting voice on. Yeah, another haunting voice on for sure. I would be honored to fiddle under your voice, under your beautiful boy voice.

I bet, but go ahead and give me a performance check with advantage. Performance? Yeah. It's going to be a 20 nut nut. Wow. Terri no longer in this Finland. You have adventures and they are grand.

Never more shall we be. But once in the future I hope to see. Clack me. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack! YEEE! That was a beautiful bath. You again? I didn't get to finish. You guys suddenly feel the flames grow hotter around you and you see the headless statue of

Polar cracks even more. There's a little shake to the earth, a little earthquake, and you once again hear ill said's voice in your head. That's rude, that's art man. Congratulations very good. Yeah. You are victorious. You killed your dad. Wait what happened? He is in a place where you can never touch him again and he's repenting even though he doesn't need to. And I will see him again. That is the hardest choice I've ever had to make. And when I get down to where you are, that's gonna be the easiest decision.

Yeah, I gotta be honest. All this talk about, oh, why would you fight me when you could be up fighting Theala? Don't you think that we're just fucking wetting our plate on you so that we can go defeat Theala? You're warm-ups. Yeah, you're just fucking making us stronger. Yeah, the only warm-up that's going on here is just hellfire. You see the flames get a little bit hotter.

Yeah, and I fucking love it. Do you? Yeah, do you love this if it gets a little bit closer to you? You can tell he doesn't have full control over it. He's trying his hardest. I guess I guess sleep storm outside and then I'm like baby. Oh, this is perfect. You got a crawfish like a roast on this thing. Ben starts doing hot yoga. Shay style.

Okay, everyone goofing around on the chat as usual I see. I do want you to know something, Beverly Toe Gold. You and I aren't so different because today I too will kill a dad. You're- where is he? Yeah, I know, I know what you fucking get in that. He is on the seventh layer of hell as we speak, a layer of violence, a playground for my experiments. Tell me, are you familiar with the God husks? Yeah.

They smell great. Look also. They do. Love a husk musk. What of it? I don't think you're going to like this musk very much. And that's where we'll end our session. No.

No. Let it be known that we ended an episode on, I don't think you're gonna like this much very much. That makes me want to see a compilation of all of our, all of the last line before and that's what we'll end our episode. Yeah, that's the like one of the more serious episodes and one of the more stupid endings.

Perfect counterbalance. Yeah, it's a lot, I feel like Husk is the new Wimple. Hashtag Husk is the new Wimple. Absolutely. StarSong Wimple. This is the world we are building and I want to live in it. Great, thank you to everyone for listening.

You can check us out on Patreon to listen to our short rest at patreon.com slash nadpod, n-a-d-d-p d d p o d don't sing yet. We got some things to plug. Watch me an Emily sketch show. It's called hot date. It's on pop TV on Fridays 10 and 10 30. You can also watch all of the episodes on the pop now app. So check that out. Call the way you got. Oh, we got a P.O PO box. It's at 1920, Hillhurst Avenue number 222, lowest fill these California, 90027. It is fit to burst right now, I haven't checked it in a while,

but there's a lot of goodies there. I'm excited to share them with everyone. So yeah, keeps sending us stuff, and we will shout you out. Appreciate you. Oh yeah. Jake, what do you got? Jake's mobscookies.com.

Yeah, my mobscookie delivery business. Yeah. My mom's cookie delivery business. Whoa. I haven't, I haven't had these cookies. You should. I don't know. I'll bring a box next time I come out here. No. Let me, I want to do it the real way.

You jakesmobbscookies.com. You can order, you can order them. She's doing it right now. She's doing it right now. Yes, she could definitely do. Whoa. Yeah. She can hook you up.

What up? Guys, follow us on Twitter at CHMRF is me. Add, call these call-doll. Addiex for disemily Twitter at CHMRIFUSME, at Call These Codal, adEX for Dismallee and at J.Curwitz's Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD that's NADPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation,

we are, we are, youth of the nation. The youth of the nation. The youth of the nation. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Y'all so sweet to us. Starting with Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Spencer Caskbrew, a group of delegates from the Astral Council currently floating through the cold reaches of space.

Fingers crossed y'all find a husk to chill in soon. Fingers and toes indeed! Beard man, Dan! Hermes W. Spartus, Adam R. Dan yelled the dastardly day, they are a bunch of green teens who invited Beverly to play kickball and the day he had to watch his dad execute the vizier. They got ice cream afterward too. All in all, a pretty dope day.

Howl door frostback, multiple for Jordan DJ, Jeffreas, and Cutter W5, Demon Husks, who were sent to capture Balnor, but ended up being transformed into angels after he offered them a sip of the heavenly nectar known as Bud Heavy. Shubrit the mushroom, Alainacy, mixologist Michael McD, Andrew M. and Boundor's boy, a group of mushroom people who have rebuilt Cragwater into a thriving, independent community. Rumor has it, they're getting a Panera next year. Ooh, just an eye, Jacob C, Alain-A-M,

Mick Pox and Earl and Kathleen L. A colony of Bazinga Bees that flies across the Feywild in search of delicious pollen and DVD box sets of young sheldon to present to their queen Bazinga. I just like quiet. Oh, Zinka. Damn you are a desidant sea, demon, be a judge, G and Jostrich. Five Esri chefs currently competing in the great Bahumian Bake-Off. This week they face their greatest challenge yet, recreating Martha Togold's famous sticky

buns while also keeping hard one from eating them before they cool. That's a tough one. Sergio, Selazar Solomon, Sakurai, Stasekwani, Michael L, Sam H, Trey Le the Kray Faye, and of course, Aaron G, five Knights of Penance currently under Bev Seeners' command in Shadowfell. Since he took over, goofing off and playing Grabass is at an all-time low, while Hustle has improved by nearly 300% the Dusk Mother chose well. It's so weird to see Grabass written as one word. Grab us. Alucard, Jorri S, Baby Duck, Adam H, and Ryan, the Dusk Fathers.

These deities dwell in the afterlife, taking repentant souls out to fast food, then making them promise not to tell the Dusk mother. Ooh, then we got Big Buck, Richard, X Machina, Cannibalistic, Cthulhu, Sam L, and of course, Troy McSee, the restaurant tours behind Jumbalay, Ezra's hottest new Crick themed eatery. Yes, there's an umlaut over one of the a's and yes, the gumbo is deconstructed and yes, they have a crick water sommelier. You know, appropriative, but also sounds pretty good.

I kinda wanna play out that scene. Yeah, I'm gotta say, right? Dom R. Josh S. Blitzbree, Dmitry, and Caleb Storm, a cycling team who competes in the annual Tour Decorde. It's a grueling bike competition that goes over mountains underwater through every layer of hell, all the way to the astral plane, then uses a wish belt to go back in time

and make a dude all over again. Brutal, Nicholas C. Mike H, Matthew E, Samuel B, and Tilford G, a network of spores with a really dysfunctional relationship. Like yeah, they're a network and they'll always be a network, but do they have to spend every holiday together? Yeah, I mean right. Gage M, Aaron C, Bahumias, Theorcist L&D, T.J. M. the No. Barbarian and trust the traveler. They are a group of wizards who play a weekly game of pick-up basketball.

Not to be confused with the Washington wizards who also play basketball, but are not real wizards and are instead frauds and pretenders. Anime intellect. Zolo Dolo, Larissa J, Dillon CM, the wannabe DM, and of course, Kelvin Noodle's the friends of Bohemia. We don't check in with them ever, but they live in impossibly nice apartments in Asri across the hallway from each other

and spend all day complaining about their careers and relationships at a local coffee house. Also, they're all automatonns. Even more fun, Colton B, B money, J, Heartless Master, and CC Lulu. A group of druids who forms the movement called Roode Awakening which opposes the use of the Awakenspell because it of its humanoid centric bias. I gotta tell you, Moonshine would fit right in with them.

Yeah, I think so. Joshua C, Aidenr, L-E.K, Luke H and Zach C, a crew of ill-seds, Necromancer buddies at Glade Home University who partied with him. They would summon skeletons to chug beers, then chug from the skeletons rib cages. It was epic. Ill-sed is a monster though, so come get your boy.

Yeah, I'm hopeless. Timmy R, Alex M, AaronSoli, and EricG, members of a pop band called Green Dream, made up of green teens. I'm hopeless as the cute one. Timmy is the tough one. Alex is the shy one. Aaron is the star.

And Eric is secretly an anti-palated planning on betraying all of them. And they're always, they're always as one. Lucas B, Rubin A, Jordan L, L Laura S and of course J Parker a crew of stray tabaxi vigilantes who roam the streets of outer Esri catching rat folk criminals oh no Emily has just invited them to live in our house now they're inviting more of their friends there are 27 of them. This is too close to home very literally. Austin C Austin MR MR, just a pissed off Triss A.K.

touch it, Kaylee Elise and Barnes and Aitor, a squadron of elite Griffin riding angels. Why do they need griffins if they've already got wings? Cause it's fucking rad that's why. Devon W, Shinobi, Jerry Dei and Persephone, a crew of Turtle folk detectives known for their slow, thorough investigation process. These turtle sleuths are finally about to crack the case of the missing green teens in Moonstone. Wow. Yeah. Can't wait to see what they found.

Reese NS, Bell in the bar, Jackie, Haley, and Eric and Andrea B, VIP members of Shae's Hot Yoga Gym. This is the most flexible crew in Moonstone and they're so toned and desirable, they could have a pick of any of the village's eligible bachelors, which is mostly Graft Fisherman. They should probably move. Steven C. Diane W. Maxwell C. Mike K. and Michael M. The Knights of Poloor's Godguard. They all fly around on giant parakeets with a margarita in one hand and a ukulele in the other. They're here to bring justice, but they're chill about it. Omri M. Calum L. Charo Arcadeus. Scott D. No Thor, the Proud Ashi Ranger, a group of heroic

gnomes who are still pulling tricks and go later on. Their latest keeper was straight up shitting in a giant vat of the Chosen's milk. Shane B, the pinch, Dan, Richard C, and Karen T, a bunch of adorable dwarfs who were just adopted by Danny Pebblepot. Don't ever listen to your dad, kids. Curtis S. Michael C. B.J. L. Nikki W. An Andrew B. Pregnant Elk Moonshine's Elkin Litter, they're looking for their mother and are thankfully still being nourished by a river of milk she left in her way.

Disgusting. Christopher B. Pete C. Barris and Ken of the Wizard's Tower. Jonathan the Arcadian Game Game Smith, and Nicholas P, a group of stray skeleton cats. Luckily, Erdan has a sense of hospitality and leaves food outside his door day and night, not a like Emily Axford, you're my queen. I am getting called out today.

Robert F, Kevin M, Jake L, and Dooby Astray, Boundor's drinking buddies. Some nights after work, Bounder meets this crew out at the bar to watch a game and on wide by drinking himself into a stupor on Bud Heavys. This is the crew that walks Bounder home. I am the atlas Ryan C. Andrea W. Esme M. and Robert Othgars new team of therapists. He went to one session with a single doc and they were like no these walls are too high to thick. This requires a doc squad. Wow a doc battering ram really. Angel B, Raoul and Grace G, Yens Christian T and Joe

Mick G, Artisanal Jam Proveirs and Nyaxe Greatest Fear. Sure, their jelly is delicious, but in the wrong hands or under the wrong feet, it can be fatal. Oh! Oh! Hahaha! Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to our council of elders and all of our Patreon subscribers.

We'll be back next week with another episode, But in the meantime, head on over to our Patreon to listen to our short rest. We'll catch you guys next time. Bye, sweetie. That was a HATEGOM podcast.