Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 86: Hell Breaks Loose (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: January 10, 2020

Zac Oyama and Siobhan Thompson join The Band of Boobs as they continue their battle against the Tarrasque! Moonshine enters the elven matrix, Hardwon faces a moral dilemma, and Beverly fights for his life. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crowd Screaming" by InspectorJ at Freesound.org."Hellhound" by Taure at Freesound.org."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."The Thinking Cap" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."The Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb by Emily Axford."Into the Flame" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."Torn Apart" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamaneeve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Oh boyia. Bahumia. Bahumia. Oh boy, he's sick. Oh no, he's the death rattle.

I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, Shorefoot. Emily Axford. Moon Chine Sibon. Fem, fantastic, going up against a Jurassic. Nice. Very fun. And of course, called Waltanner.

Beverly Toggle, the fifth, a smooth face boy who doesn't need to shave and is about to make his third death save. Oh, you're gonna go great. He was so cute. Oh yeah, but that's better. That's saved. Yes, save. They positive folks. And then of course, we've got returning guests, Shivan Thompson. Apple Scrumper. I hit things. Very good. And

Business card. Enzac O'Yama. Maveris The Unschooled. I can fly now. Maybe. That's character growth. Great rhymes all around. All of your character growth is external. Pretty similar on the inside. Just getting taller. Listen, if I had wings I would not need to rhyme. Okay, guys, so let's do a little recap. Last week, you guys convened with Alonus and a team of allies to locate Acarots, Rogue, Gods, and come up with a plan. You found the gods in Osmodia, Frostwind, and one lurking around the Iron Deep Mountains, where chosen soldiers lie in wait to pounce on the vulnerable valley while the free cities are distracted.

You split up your allies in different areas threatened by Akarot, Lucanis and Mima headed to Osmodea to investigate Akarot in the Orcs, Alonis and Ulfgar went to the Iron Deep Mountains to protect the city from a chosen invasion, and Mima sent word to Cobb to look after the city proper. Erdan and Mama then volunteered to stay behind in Glade Home to handle Akarats' phylactory. Meanwhile, the band of boobs were dispensed to help the Frost's Dwarves defend their city against the Terrasque.

Before leaving, Moonshine acquired the thinking cap and you added a couple he members to your growing party. Hell yeah. You collected a maverick, the unscooled who was teaching. His first sorcery class and Apple Scrupper, who was supposed to be training Elven troops. You guys both suck at your job. Hey, bye. It's eye-dose,. Hey, I'm not.

I don't suck it. They suck it. Are you really good? They're just useless. It's not my fault. They're bad. Together, you were teleported to Frostwind where the Dwarven Defense was gathering.

The enemy approached, not just the Trask, but an army of undead giants, the Frost Dwarves wavered. But Apple intimidated them into bravery. You engaged the tarask on the front line and learned that its power was greater than anything you've ever faced. Maveris learned the hard way that it cannot be affected by spell attacks. Nevertheless, hell no.

With the help of the Dwarves, you are able to do some significant damage to it until it managed to take down Bev and tragedy struck. Hell no! Hard one swooped into save him but was thwarted by the cursed potion. I also suck at my job. Y'all, do you think, I mean, do you think you're never gonna gamble again? I think I'm gonna be dead after this fight. Hard one was thwarted by the cursed potion. He had back at the honey trap casino, turning his nat 20 into a nat one. Beverly was spiked into the ground and nearly killed outright. Bev has two death saving fails. It is his turn. Kudur goes at the end of the round. He's ready. You see, he's got the berry primed.

Oh my God. I opened my mouth and anticipation. Nearly dead, struggling to breathe, but craving a berry. I thought Kooter brought regular healing potions. Go ahead and roll a pure luck check to see if Kooter is an actual healer or if he just helps out. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, Nat 20, he has really good potions, 15 or higher, he has some potions. I was already coming in

nervous about my first roll of the year and here it is and it matters so much. Six. Six. He's got that very pride. All right, Beverly. So this is... Can we say it's a great berry instead of a good berry? It's just a good berry. Two hit points is the one. Okay, so Beverly, this is your last chance. If you fail fail Beverly dies. Well I've been rolling great so far. Oh good Lord. Oh good Lord. Sweet pea, Duskmother. Guide this dice. I got... Oh ten! Yes! The bear minimum to survive! Ah, he's scared. She's barely alive, man.

I gotta be honest, does mother or pillow or one of them turn their back on the other? You only got a step on one. By the skin of his very thin ass, Beverly survives. Kudur runs over at the end of Bev's turn, had a reaction held, but was very scared of the tarask,

runs over, pops a berry in your mouth. Bev, but was very scared of the harass, runs over, pops a berry in your mouth. Bev, you pop back up with the HP. The first thing you see is Kooter go, we're in trouble, there's a big ass dinosaur coming for us. And he's gonna try to tackle you into the snow. He's, he's a Kooter. He'll do a stealth check.

That's that Kooter cospetality. That's a, I'm warming around down here. You see Kooter disappears with benefit to the snow. Oh yeah. Yeah, Kooter, that's my dude. The Terrasque Roars Angry. That is Balnor's turn. Full on Moldun style is going to light up his sword

and run in front of the Ter the harass, trying to distract it and get it away from Bev and Kooter. Stay away from my son. Get out of the teen zone. That is a miss on the first attack, trying as hard as he can, but still hitting this mighty carapace. That's a one that he re-rolls that. Yeah. That's a one-way rerolls that. Yeah.

That's a 21 to hit. That misses on the second attack and the last attack misses as well. Balenoir tried his dang hardest, but it didn't work. Actually, you know what? Baleno's gonna action serve. Damn right. What better time to start with? So it looks awesome.

Don't let it go to waste. Thanks, I'm trying. I missed. I crit. Yes. Oh, yeah. The ultimate chaperone. Okay. So he crits for a total of 22 damage.

Nicely done. Get's in under the carapace explosion of green light and you see it draws the Tarask's attention. Oh, that color looks good on you. What'd you say, man? Where's the... no, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Okay, and then at the end of Boundor's turn, the Tarask is going to take a legendary action

to take a swipe at him. Takes a tail attack, that is a hit, that is Jesus, 30 damage to Boundor, as it strikes him across the chest. He's pretty hearty though. He tries to tighten his abs. He tries to like tighten his abs. I got this, I got this. I gotta hit with a cannonball.

Yeah, you see him whacked so hard, I was gonna do a strength save. That's in that one, arguably lucky. He passes on the second attempt. You see he does stay standing. He just gets rocked back like 15 feet. That is the end of the round. We are going back up to moonshine.

At the start of this round, something happens. The carapace comes off. He takes it off like a corset. You see, the mattress lowers his sunglasses and looks at the terrace. Start stepping in a seductive way. Resist it, maverous. I add to the terrasses. Look away, bro.

I don't want to. You all die from horning-ness. So moonshine. You have worn the thinking cap a few times at this point. Yeah. The first time you put it on, you heard all these disparate voices that nearly drove you mad.

The necromancer who tried to put it on couldn't even stand it for a second. Yeah, it's fucked up, fuck. But once you were attuned to it, you were able to understand them and they even helped you. And here at the edge of the world, near the rift in the material plane, you are hearing a lot of voices.

And suddenly, you are rocked forward as a collective scream is let out thousands of people screaming. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. OK. I do this with advantage because of heroes. Because of heroes, Feast. 25.

25, wow. Yeah. Right. Moonshine, you see the rift in the material plane. This purple crack in the sky begins to flash white. And the whole world around you suddenly turns this deep blackish bluish color. Do the people around me disappear? Almost everyone around you disappears, but you do see some people strangely enough. You see like spectral figures? Actually, go ahead and give me insight

or perception. 20. Not that. Okay. You were looking at the terrasque just a second ago, so you know where the location of the terrasque was, and you know that hard one and Apple Scrumper were right around it. You see the spectral forms of hard one and Apple Scrumper, fighting some invisible beast, but they are hard one in Apple are moving in slow motion. And you're able to deduce that you're wearing this crown, you're having some kind of weird reaction. They are both elves.

You're tapping into this weird strange, elven world. You also see, I'm in the elven matrix. Not elven, baby. You're a little, yeah, we'll call it the elven matrix. You're in the Elven Matrix. Elven Matrix. Yeah, we'll call it the Elven Matrix. You're in the Elven Matrix. You only see half of hard one.

You look down at yourself and you see that you're also a spectral version of yourself that you're like glowing white. And the screams turn to white noise and you hear a voice whispering to you through it all. Daughter of the forest! Queen of elves! Can you hear me? I can, especially if you're going to regard me with such glowing epithets. Well, you're wearing the crown, aren't you? I'm borrowing the crown, but thank you. There is no borrowing, the North Yaw. Is that Lucanus?

No. Oh, so it ain't his fault that he says it like that? His fault that he called it by its proper name. Go on, who are you? My name is Diawada, SM Gua. Okay. I was an Elven seer, an advisor to the first Elven King. My wisdom is but a drop in the pool of knowledge that is the Noah Thwaw.

Well, thank you. And what, and what a juicy pool that is. The pool is quite juicy right now. A juicy pool. Oh, why are you reaching out to me? Where are you now? Art. I am here. I am with you. Oh, hot. Oh, you. Do you hear? Do you hear the people screaming? I do hear. Do you hear our people crying out.

I do, I do, and I wanna help people. I wanna do what I can to help. I don't know who I've ever been trying to do. As she mentions, that people are screaming, you are able to kind of close your eyes and concentrate on it, and you do hear this steady, hum, this crazy cacophony of screaming. Why are people screaming so much?

We can find out together. I can enhance the power of your spores. Your network is fast, queen of elves. Munchen, you look down at yourself. You're this weird spectral form of yourself, and you see this colorful green light within you, and you also look out. And Apple and hard one have bits of your spores in them as well.

And where Maveris andv and ballnor would be, you see basically like invisible people, but with your spores in them. It just looks like bobbing forms made of your spores and you see as you concentrate on them and you think about it and you try to connect to everyone, you see that the ground around you, you can kind of see like the outlines of like the wall

and the outlines of the landscapes and stuff, you see that from your feet sprouts like a white network, like almost like a spider web crawling out and covering the landscape. When trying to go ahead and give me another wisdom saving throw as you try to hear the screams. 28. Jesus.

Hey man, wrong with advantage plus tend wisdom save. Yeet. And you see that these guys are moving in slow motion. So this all this whole conversation you're having, this is as if you're just having thoughts. Like these things are, you're experiencing it in this crazy, trippy, bullet time way, but this is all happening very fast in real time.

So moonshine, you try to listen to the screams and you as a spectral figure begin rapidly shooting through the air. You see visions of landscapes and other spectral forms passing you by. You can hear the desperate cries of crowds of elves. But from them, you can also hear voices that you recognize. You hear Old Cobb. He sounds greatly concerned. He's screaming out orders. Like he's in a battle that he's losing. You hear Alonus. She's shouting, it sounds like she's casting powerful spells.

Like she's casting spells. You hear Lucanus and Mima, who sound like they're hatching some kind of plan. It's like kind of conspiratorial. And you hear Erdan whispering an incantation. He's speaking in Elvish and you can understand him. You know he stayed behind to get the Akarats essence out of the phylactery. But it sounds like he's casting the ackarats essence out of the phallactery, but it sounds like he's casting some kind of powerful shield spell.

Keep saying shield. Who would you like to speak to? Erdan is casting shield. He's casting some kind of shield spell. It is not just on himself. You don't know. It does not sound like the shield spell. The shield spell is something hard one can do.

It sounds like Erdan is concentrating on like the shield spell. The shield spell is something hard one can do. It sounds like Erdan is concentrating on an insanely powerful spell. Yeah. But does it sound like he's helping this essence? Or is he... You don't know. Whew. I got a...

Oh. Oh, I don't know what to do in this situation. My instinct is I'm a little bit worried about Erdan. I feel like Mima and Luconis got, you know, their shit together. I'm worried about Cobb for sure. It feels like I need to talk to Erdan, but I want to talk to Cobb. I think I'm really sick of trying to figure out what I need to do, and I just want to do what I want to do. Okay. So I want to talk to Cobb. Sweet, Munchine, you flash forward, you fly towards Cobb

and you find yourself in this strange, demy planar reflection of Iron Deep Castle. There are barely any details. Everything just looks very blocky and just outlined in white. You can see the spectral form of Cobb with bits of your glowing spores still inside him. You see as you get close, they start getting a little bit brighter.

You see he's fighting off some invisible monstrosity. He's got his gun up. He's moving in slow motion, his finger is taking forever just to get to the trigger, but you hear his voice and it's in slow downtime, his finger is taking forever just to get to the trigger, but you hear his voice and it's in slow downtime like you, it's his thoughts. So you hear him go, Oh Chan, is that you? Cub, it's me, it's moonshine. Are you an odd date?

No. Are you using report spores? Uh, I think I might have tapped into some sort of super powerful rapport spores that was in me all along But are you okay? I haven't seen you in forever, but I'm worried about you Well, it's very good to see you Things are very bad the Jubilix is attacking iron deep castle We've lost a bunch of good dwarves here and we don't have anybody Deep Castle. We've lost a bunch of good dwarves here and we don't have anybody

Coming to help chosen are coming in through the mountains. So there's fighting out there too Chosen are going after the chosen are fighting alongside the Jubelix. No, they're using the they're using the fact that the Jubelix showed up in Iron Deep Castle to attack through the mountains So we got who else has got your back or are you or are you top dog? It's just me and Irland's crew All right, I'm coming to you. Look, if you got anybody you can spare, we got a dwarven mage here, says he can teleport some people. So if we can have you, that would be super helpful.

Send him away, I'm coming, okay. It's been too long, Cobb. Cobb, I met Dead Eye. He, he pauses for a second. You met Vance? Yeah. I met Vance and he was real conflicted, but he ended at a really good place. And I've been wanting to tell you about this for so long and I just didn't get a chance

to. And I don't know if I will, so I just want to make sure I told you. Was is he alright? Yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah, he found his way back to the creek. Here's open. Me and you get to find our way back to the creek on Moon Gen.

Yeah. All right. You send your dwarven, mate. I'm coming. All right. Um, Moon Shine, you feel yourself losing concentration on this crazy, elven fungal network that you're in, and you whew, you're suddenly back in Frostwind and you see Balnor getting charged by the Terrasque.

Do all right. Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I still have my grasping vine out, right? That motherfucker's still going. Yeah. I want to use my bonus action to grasping vine boundor away out of the terrasque's way. And then I just want to attack the terrasque. Suites.

So yeah, the grasping vinyl just whipped Boundor out of the way. Sweet, Boundor is still standing there, standing strong after getting hit by the tail. I think I'll just say Boundor, trust me. All right, duh. Yeah. Gets yanked back. I don't even need to roll my old man accuracy.

I got a nap 20. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. That is. I got a nap 20. Oh my god. Yeah. That is. You get it two times, right? Yeah, amazing. Literally.

Yeah. I hit him for 30 and then I was born for 18. Jesus, 48 damage. Yeah, and then Papa might as well get in there. Oh, really? Really, Papa. We're probably going on a trip, but why? Get your kiss.

Papa wasn't there. Really? Oh yeah, did I see Papa your kiss. Poppa wasn't there. Rian? Oh yeah, did I see Poppa? He was probably covered in spores. Oh yeah, yeah, you saw him, he was just, yeah, a mess of spores. He thought, he thought it was just a green booger on the ground, just like weird mocap, probably.

Yeah, I smeared some more spores on him. Poppa, I gotta keep you safe with me. Yeah. Now go in and attack. Poppa also just fucking cram. Oh my God. He rolls with advantage to the pack, tack, tack, fit, so.

City baby. All right, Papa. Bam! You see Papa like jumps up, basically crawls into the things carapace and just wigs out for a second. I want to see you, Papa, thrash the harass. Cause for that said.

Papa, you didn't roll well, but it's okay. 16. 16. It all helps, Papa thrash the terrask. I'm sorry. Ah, Papa, you didn't roll well, but it's okay. Mm, 16. 16. It all helps, Papa. Yeah, bitch. Take that. You don't like magic, that's okay. We get around it.

Ooh. That's not a horrible. That one, he's that, I'm like, oh, oh. I guess it is. That was cool back. Oh, worry, we should have been talking to you way sooner. Yeah, it just opens up and just negative energy getting pulled into its mouth as it tries to roar,

but it's just the absence of roar. Um, moonshine, at the end of your turn, you hear... Oh, can I also shout to everyone and be like, uh, the cops in trouble in iron deep, and I think we gotta send some support. I offer myself, I believe he's sending a door of an age to come retrieve me and maybe others. Moonshine, you hear the Elven seer in your mind go, you cannot leave the edge of the world, Moonshine Sibon. Why? You need to be here

We need you Cobb is in trouble send me all of the elves are in trouble Okay, stay where you tell me to what's your name again? Dijuana Tijuana Dijuana Like Tijuana but with a D Yes D-O-W-I-N-I, like T-O-W-I-N-I, but with a D. Yes!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Okay, uh, change plans. Uh, got a real friendly voice in my hat that's once me to stay, so, uh, we need to send a couple people to Iron Deep. I want to go home. Okay. I can go to, I'll go to Iron Deep. I'm not great here. Okay, great. Here, Boundore goes, uh, hey guys, does anybody want to stay just those two guys then I think we should all leave and leave boundore to take care of it

Fuck I'll stay here. I yeah, I'm staying here. I I don't know I want to be with Ireland, but I feel like I should finish what we started here. Okay, whatever you decide who's your new friend Okay, whatever you decide. Who's your new friend? Oh, it's my cat, my cat. My cat talks to me now. Oh, awesome. There's a little man named Dijuana living in my hat. Dijuana?

I'm an old woman. You know, there's a person down at the field that you can talk to about that when your hat starts smoking. It's actually free, Coleman. All right, good. After this, after we beat this to ask, I'll visit them. At the end of Moonshine's turn, to ask is gonna take its last legendary reaction

of the round and try to hit Moonshine with a tail attack. Bring on, come on. 24 to hit. It hits. That's only a 16. But go ahead and give me a strength saving throw. Yeah. Does it 20 help?

20, you stay up. Yay! Moonshine, you pull a ball, Nore, and you just tighten your abs and are just taking a wide stance and stay up in the face of this monster. Oh, hard one, hard one, Tommy, I use my cohort. Quads, of course, it's all you need. That is.

I said it's hell, but. Okay. That is back up said Silph, but... Okay. Okay. That is back up to the Dwarves. The Dwarves, I think I explained them wrong last time. I ended up changing it on the fly, keeping the math simple. For myself, it's going to be 1d6 times 10 until they take a threshold of damage and it'll turn into a d4 and then a d2.

So I'm going to start with the D6 because they're still at full force. So you see, Crossbow bolts coming in from everywhere. Dwarves jumping up, stabbing into them, trying to help as much as they can. That's a big fucking 50 damage. Ooh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Chunky. Back him. Woo. It lets in this horrible, just negative energy getting something out. No, it's not.

It can't breathe out of the mouth. Do you have something stuck in your throat? Like a big berry? That is, Maverick's. Probably a human. Okay. Maverick is just flying right now, I think. Do I know, do I have a sense of when this mage is coming or just whenever? It's just, you only know what moonshine told you.

I'm sorry, things can't be real slow inside my hat, so I'm having a hard time translating time. You know, I fully understand. I know, everything I'm saying is home drum. Yeah, yeah. It's more of the same. Can I just fly by it and cone of cold it? Yeah. What kind of save does it make?

Constitution saving through. So maybe that's not great for this. I truly have nothing else I can hit it. Cool. Yeah, I know that that's fine. Has a plus 10 to Constitution, so likely we'll only take half. That's only a 15.

You know what, it is gonna burn a legendary resistance. Finally! Not your final, we got one finally So it means it still takes half Okay, so that resistance could buy it So that's 8d8 Oh wow Oh, cuz it's out of fifth level

Fuck Delicious 37.5 So yeah Freezes ass Book you, Tarek Ooooooh Geez, I really don't want it to roast me

That was cold man Haunting Oh, jeez, I really don't want it to roast me. That was golden. It's haunting. That is apple's turn, apple. You are exhausted. It's just already prefeated. I am exhausted, but the berserkers are not. Oh, yeah.

So, see if they cram. We've been cram a lot today. I am very exhausted from the back of this dinosaur going to yell, absolutely go mad for it, lads. And they're going to attack, reckless attacks. So they'll attack the vantage, maybe more of the little hit. It's getting very mad. No.

Oh my god. It's brutal. It's so funny and poetic that these guys are. Too damn heavy-killed. They're too well adjusted. Then that is the Tarasks turn. The Tarasks just took a mighty hit from all of these dwarves. So it's quite frustrated.

First things first, it's gonna try to buck off Apple Scrumper. Woo! Starts freaking out. Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw. Great, and they roll a ton too. Am I near enough to her? I can't remember. I think I am. You're barely under the sun. I got a 20 foot tall thing.

A 21? Yeah. You say if you stay on, this thing can't get you off. This thing is going to say fuck it and just start plowing through dwarves. So it's going to go ahead and make bite, claw, horn, and you know what, it'll do tail against Apple Scrumper. I'm gonna say it can't see you, so it'll do with disadvantage. Yo, it might actually miss 21-bit. No, that hits me. Yeah, you're a barber, too.

I have 17-0. Okay, let me see if it gets an at-one, that hits me. Yeah, you're a barbarian. I have 17 on it. OK, let me see if it gets an out one. It doesn't. OK, so you get hit. The tail comes up and thwaps you for 24 damage. Great. Hob to 12. Hob to 12.

No thing for you. Get hit. You're super tired. You're just getting a breather. You're just hunched over, getting hit in the back. Scrubber just always so relaxed, even in the heat of battle. She's betting herself. I know.

You see this tarask runs over and we're using cleave rules for the little guys too. Just mose down a squad with its horns. Instantly does 31 damage. You see it just plows through like five guys, then gets down and bites like three of them, flings them back, swallows them whole, claws forward, slashes one group for a combined 25 damage, another group for a

combined 27 damage, and you see fully takes out one and a half squads of the dwarves. So you guys are still at a D6, but you're very close to going down to a D4. You see some of the dwarves are getting scared and kind of backing off a little bit. That is hard ones turn. Okay, I'm not going to get into a verbal sparring match with this guy, because I'm clearly outmatched. I'm just going to go hammer to face. That is a net 20.

A real one. A real one. Fuck you, you fucking curse. Yeah! My other two hits don't curse is lift don't do. The house does not always win. Yeah. Yeah.

So, 28 damage. That was very good. Oh, you know what? My Dorf Daddy's are with me. Yeah, they are. Sweet Hillmake wisdom saving throw. That's a Nat 4. Is it gonna fail? Uh, that is a. That's a nat 4, is gonna fail.

That is a, that's 20 from a dwarf daddy's. Ooh! Nice, geez, he just did like 50 damage, good for you. Is it making a pained noise from its mouth? Mm! Okay, exactly the same, just negative energy going and do its mouth sort of articulating a message. Mm-hmm.

I've been hurt a certain amount, right? Emotional pain, it sounds like. Hard one, as your dwarf daddy's swing in and attack this harass, go ahead and give me a perception check. 17? 17, pretty good. Okay, so hard one, you've just gone up and you've gotten a critical hit. You basically like ran up, swung the hammer, got right under its chin and cracked it,

and through the power of more than in your own strength, actually made this gigantic monster turn its head up as if it were just a boxer that ate an upper cut. Awesome. And in that brief moment, you see the ghostly forms of Col dain and Bronzebeard and McGannis slashing into him with spectral energy. In that brief moment, you look around the battlefield. You see the fighting is more concentrated away from you guys. The tarask has kind of cleared a path. You are in the eye of the storm, essentially.

Around you, iron gole's are wrestling with massive giants. A gargantuan zombie just crumbles a frost dwarf with a mighty fist, a winter wolf, and her wolf companion work together to take down a giant. Amongst the chaos, you see a small crew that is not fighting giants. It's led by Cyrus Coldain, King of the Frost Orbs. He's protected by his Kingsguard, a crew of soldiers and heavy armor bearing the blue whites, tabards of the Coldene family. One of them is this burly dude who wears thick goggles and wields an axe. They are fighting a small crew of frost orcs.

These blue-skinned orcs in crude heavy armor that look like rusted cockroach carapaces. It would seem that amongst the mindless zombies, Acarot may have sent in some like intelligent allies to kill the king on the battlefield while everything was crazy. And as you're fighting this to ask, you hear the voice of Koldango,

you know, he had this hammer once. I think he is doomed without it. You look over and you see the orcs cut through a few of his Kings guard and it's just him and the dude with the goggles Fighting against all of these orcs. Can I throw him the hammer? Yeah I learned that green leads you to a shitty shitty place. You need this thing more than I do brother You shout that out. Go ahead and give me a

Persuasion check with advantage. Ooh, I love advantage. 16. 16, sweet, hard one. As you throw the hammer, guided by Moriden. Koldane senses it instinctively and catches it in his palm. The dwarves look on in wonder. He looks over his shoulder and sees you having just made the throw and looks baffled.

You see the ghost of Koldain whispers something to him. You see his eyes widen, but then you just kind of nods at you and then he turns and gets to work and just starts hammering at these orcs, and you see the ghosts of the dwarf daddies start tearing through them, take out like two or three dudes. Oh yeah, I give him a bad thumbs up, and I blink my eyes out of him.

Ha ha ha. Hard one. Do you need something to fight with? I bet my pants. Yeah, my pockets are too tight to hold anything actually. Oh, can I, I don't really have any action economy left, but can I toss them Rosalene? On your turn, you can do a minor action

if you guys want to pass it back. Okay, yeah, that's great. All right, then at least on my, at least outside of my turn, can I look at hard one, and look at Rosalene and like make a little kissy eyes? Between the two of them. While I borrow my girlfriend.

I blow it a kiss. At the end of your turn, the tarask is going to go into the dwarves, it does another 25 damage and takes out another crew. You see, it's tail just swipes through a team of dudes and some other scared ones start running off. That is Beverly's turn. Beverly you are at 1hc

Oh In the snow. Why did I attack? I completely forgot. Don't worry. I got touch-hands You are in the snow with cooter. I'm chilling in an igloo with cooter. Hey, do you think if we just wait this out? We okay cooter. Yeah, listen to yourself. Come on. I'm not a an igloo with cooter. Hey, do you think if we just wait this out, we'll be okay? Cooter! Yeah, listen to yourself. Ah, come on, I'm not a fighter. I know, you're the berry boy. I am the berry boy.

We need you to be the best berry boy that has ever lived. You must fly on the wind and deliver berries. You must prank people for good with your delicious healing berries. Do you understand me? Uh, go ahead and give a persuasion check to Kudur. Okay. That's gonna be a 24. Kudur looks super inspired.

I was born to be the berry boy. Cool. So we got Kudur back on the team. I'm going to touch hands myself for about 50. Okay. Just to get myself at a stable place. I'm sorry, Bev, you were in the snowbank. I didn't even see you.

If anybody has to feel bad, it's the guy that fucking dropped it. Not you. Yeah, for real. Was that against? Hey, I think it was Vallor. Hey, what? It was a freak cow going on. I put your butter fingers on.

That tail hit me super far away and then moonshine yanked me. What's everybody talking about? Nothing, man. I'm talking to this king over here. At the end of your turn, you have gotten out of the snow. You've healed yourself up. You start kind of stealing yourself to get back in the game. You start running forward when you hear a voice behind you go,

Beverly Togold! What? Yeah, present? You turn around, you see that amongst all the Frost Dwarf fighters. There is an iron deep dwarf that is fighting to kind of get through all of the soldiers. You see, is this dwarven mage with long braids in his beard. Brown starting to gray, wearing a thick red robe. The wind is whipping his beard as he rushes over to you

from across the battlefield. And he goes, my name is Maz Althul. I'm a friend of your friends, Cobb and Erlin. And there's danger in Iron Deep, and Moonshine Siphon said that we could, that we would have help. Yes, we're here. We have the people assembled. Alright, I can take whoever, whenever you're ready. I guess I'll report spores to everyone, and I'll maybe try and light up my sword to try and rally everyone to me. Sweet.

Bev, you hold up your sword, shines with white light. You guys all turn and you guys see this dwarven mage with Bev. Who's going to Iron Deep? I look, I'll go, but I want to go where I'm the most effective. Yeah. I think I should stay here. I know I have to stay here. I Fucking suck here, so I gotta get out of here. Yeah, mavers you go. I need someone to save

I wanted to hit him with that sunbeam so bad. I'm on yeah, what's up with this guy? Why is he with us because he's not good? Sorry, no offense Hey Rage and fight scrumber Hey, you don't know. You're gonna rage and fight Scrumper. Listen, you obviously what Maverick can do. Maverick save me. Look, I will have a conversation later. I don't even know you.

Okay, I don't know you. But I probably should get out of here. You see, Maverick starts coming over towards the dwarf and the dwarf turns to you, Bev, and goes. Honestly, if it were up to me, I'd bring you. The monster has shown weakness to divine magic and we could use a paladin. Bev, go, because hard one's going to be using my sword. And you can also heal.

And I need, and you also have revivify. And I need to know that Cobb is going to make it out no matter what happens. Are you sure? I'm positive. I want to go where I'm needed. Is this where I need to be? Where you want to go and where you need to be happen to be the same in the situation. Finally for once I'm lucky.

Hard one. We'll make sure that Iron Deep is the safest it's ever been. Safe or even, I know that there was a lot of hazards for young dwarfs and there are sharp corners if you can kill the monster stop the chosen and then you know shut down the door finish while you're there that's perfect okay right in this town all right I will go I'm on the shoulders of the door beep beep come on incredibly we stopped and threw a starboardbugs' draught through anything. I tug on the dwindling.

This isn't how it works. Hong, hunk. I'll take a venty red eye. I can't. Okay, sweet. Bev, you and Mavis disappear. At the end of Bev's turn, the terrasse is going to take another tail attack

against the dwarves, the crits, that is 60 damage, and takes out another crit, dwarves. It's like we are gonna be fighting this guy on our own. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor is gonna run up and take his swipes. He doesn't have an action surge, but he hits on the first attack.

He misses on the second attack, but he hits on the first attack. He misses on the second attack, and he misses on the third attack. Our boy, Balnor hits for a big 11 damage. I'm in this damn thing. That is end of Balnor's turn. It's gonna take another swipe at the dwarves and does 27 damage. You see another squad is nearly halved.

Hard one, are you hurtin'? I got two good berries, I'll be alright. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Oh, but enough of my nuts. I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Then it is Kooter's turn at the bottom of the order. Kooter is gonna keep hiding in the snow, but it's gonna hold the reaction for if anybody needs a berry.

That's our berry boy. That is background to moonshine's turn. Moon shine, when it gets back around to you, you begin to hear the voices in the crown, getting loud again. Okay. Go ahead and give me a wisdom save.

19. 19. 19. Okay. You once again are able to speak to one person. Oh. Oh my. Oh my gosh.

No. Okay. I want to talk to Erdan. Sweet. Moon shines in the dispatch.. I wanna talk to Erdan. Sweet. Moonchains in the dispatch. Moonchains once again. Erdan, Moonchains, I've been coming. You fly through this insane spectral fungal network.

You fly towards Erdan. Of my own making, right? Of your own making. You fly towards Erdan and find yourself in a reflection of Glade Home Castle. You see the spectral form of Erdan hovering over a bright white glowing all-caster apparatus. He holds his hands and looks deep in concentration. You see his body once again is moving in slow motion, but you do feel that

he notices your presence that you're like in his mind. Moonshine. He's me, Aradhan. How's it going? Oh, it could be better. I'd hate to worry you. I know you're fighting a tarask right now. Oh, it's nothing. We're all fighting our own, you know, quote unquote, tarasks, right? Right. Every day you wake up to a new tarask. What an excellent way to put it.

Yeah, well, I am wearing the thinking cap. Yes, interesting use of it, by the way. I'm glad you have it. Yeah. What do you need? Are you OK? What is going on here? You're quelling the phylacteria, right?

Not exactly. So turns out Akarats had a failsafe. When I attempted to remove his essence, it triggered a teleport spell that sent the whole city to the middle of osmodia. We are currently surrounded by tens of thousands of orcs. Mama is working with arch mages around the city to teleport the children out, but we can't save everyone.

Turns out that Akarat was not gathering an army to march on Glade home. He was always planning on bringing Glade home to him. So you need us? I need an army, which I don't have, Moon Chine. I don't have an army to give you. I mean, I can come to you. I'm supposed to be here, but I can come to you. What can I do to help you?

I think you coming here, you would just die too. So what are you telling me? Everyone's gonna die? Everyone's not going to die. That's why I'm holding the shield up, Munchine. What can I give you to help you keep this shield up longer? Munchine, you hear the voice of the Elven seer. Go. You need to bring them through.

Can I cast plane shift on the all-caster to try to shift it to where we are? You're not able to cast spells through here. Oh. So as you're speaking to Erdan,dan suddenly once again you begin to feel exhausted and you feel yourself warp back to Frostwind. You still have your like kind of halfway between your Elven Fungal Network and the Material Plane. Go ahead and give me a perception check. 22. Where are you looking?

I'm a train, these Elven eyes on that rift. Moonshine, you look in the rift and you see hundreds of these spectral forms. All right, at Toss Rosalind a hard one. Hard one, keep her safe, I'm going to fetch me an army. Munchan, you hold your hand up to the rift, and you hear the sear go. The eladrin can hear the screams too, Munchan's sibin. The rift is a cracked window into the material plane.

Open it and they might be able to help you. Shatter it and they might be able to help your friends and claydome as well. So practically just to explain moonshine what's going on here. You guys have already traveled through this rift before to get to the Fey Wild, that's when you got to the spring court and met the bear prints and stuff What the Elven seer is saying here is that you can potentially Open the rift and let the Aladdin in to help you guys here basically the reverse of what you guys did Instead of going into the Feywild you be bringing the Feywild to you, but you can also

Break the rift and completely shatter the barrier between the two planes that would create like a planet-wide streak through the sky that would serve as a portal which is potentially dangerous in the future but for now you know the queens of the Unceilian, the Ceilie, Joveer and Cyrilla and you know that they're on your side so they'd be able to send help anywhere, including Glade Home, if the entire sky there was just a portal. So it is going to be a DC-22 Arcana check to open it and bring the eladrin here, but to completely shatter it and make it a northern lights kind of situation across the whole sky, it's going to be a DC-30. So 30. So Papa can help and also on anybody's turn,

they can wave their turn to basically give their power to moonshine ice. Okay, I feel everyone in. All Glade Home has been teleported to Asmodia, Erdan and everyone there, Mama are in deep fucking trouble and I'm gonna try and get some army to them. And I guess I'm gonna go for it.

Papa's gonna give me the help back here. You hear Balnor go you're gonna bash the gash? I'm gonna bash the gash. Bash that fucking gash for mom all one time. Okay so I need to get my students. Bash the gash. School will have to be canceled. There's a bunch of people that don't know how to use magic there.

I realize I have to get a nat 20 in order to completely open it. Okay. 27. 27. Moonshine, you use the telekinetic powers given to you by the thinking cap and pull at the rift. You begin unconsciously speaking in Sylvan, your eyes glow white, and there is this flash of green. The earth quakes as there is this seismic shift, dwarves and giants are falling over.

When the light settles, you see that there is now a hole in the sky where the rift has been ripped open through which you can see all the colors of the Feywild. You did not completely shatter it. You've just opened the portal here, so Glade Home is still in trouble, but you can see Spring Alladrin begin descending from the rift and firing down at the back lines of Giants. Moonshine, go ahead and roll a D4, and that's how long it will take them to get to you guys to be able to back you up. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you 5 Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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They are down to a D2. Oh, you ready? Oh, at the end of my turn, I spore them. 13. Uh. Tastes my assets. Ooh. Piece of shit.

Oh, shit. It's so funny to concentrate. Do this epic god-like thing in the shop of the deal. I'll probably do it. That's moonshine style. Uh. Little did I know. Now you're in my sport network, though.

That is the Dorv's turn. Dorv's are just going gonna roll a D2. That is 20 damage. Yeah, yeah. The best that they could do. Bless them. That is Apple's turn. Apple, you're back in action. I'm back at it and I'm mad.

I'm gonna recklessly attack this stupid animal and 26. That hits. Yeah. And, ooh, so close. More than that, 29 on my 32 on my second one. Nice. So that's 42 damage. True.

Yeah. And then let's get these bad points. This thing's starting to look a little fucked up. You see, yeah, Apple Scrumper is on its back just stabbing and you see getting deep into the caracas and pulling up just otherworldly gunk from its innards. This is gross! I love it! I thought you could gunk board. Oh my god, I'm so gonna go board. And then the Bazaar is gonna go. Not a single goddamn crit yet. These guys, what if we just threw them at?

You know, that's a good idea. We're the number one star. We're trying our best to where this is above our big grid. Okay, that is the Tarasks turn. Who is it going to go for? So we got moonshine doing otherworldly things. I'm Taren at the sky.'m tearing at the sky. I'm tearing at the sky. But has hard one.

Ripping God's trousers. Has hard one in Apple Scrumper right here. Okay, start off beginning of the turn. Tries to buck off Apple Scrumper. Great. Ooh. Ooh, that's another 21. Jesus Christ, you stay on. Yeah. All right, going to do a tail attack on Apple Scrumper, rolls with this advantage. He actually rolls with flat because I

directly attacked. Okay, hits with a 21, I rolled a two, but insane, insane animal hits you with its tail. Yeah. That is going to be 25 damage. Great, Hav to 12 again. Hav to 12, go ahead and give me a strength saving throw. Okay, I also roll that with advantage. 23.

Jesus Christ. Wait, no strength saving throw? 28. Is it higher? Yes. There's no reason to do that Just a show off it's a black and blonde I get to be strong so rarely Please let me have this

This to ask cannot get Apple Scrumper off so I'm gonna say instead of kind of picking Oh come on now. I am down to 197 hit points, so if somebody could heal me, I would be really happy. Okay. So he's gonna go ahead and go after moonshine. So first thing. Bring it on, come on, I got scars to tear. You get a tax of opportunity on. Didn't moonshine go and attack him physically?

Oh, I wasn't sure if you were doing that. Yeah, I have to louvier on him. Yeah, you got to break close to him. Okay, sweet. So petty. So he's. Childish. He's doing it specific, not because you're doing

otherworldly things. Yeah, just because I'll have to lose you. Just because you have to. Okay, so first attack is the horns. The horns is a 25 to hit. It hits. Sweet, that's gonna be 32 damage. You see plows into moonshine and picks her up.

Does one claw attack? Jesus, that's a 31 to hit. Hit. That's 30 damage moonshine. OK. Then is going to do a second claw attack. That is another 31 to hit. That is 26 damage at this time. And then you see it swipes

Moonshine. You are grappled. You guys see this thing, like it was trying to eat Beverly before, now has Moonshine into the ground pressing her down there. It's a bad club. Moonshine, as you're being forced down by this terrace, who's trying to swallow you, you can see like the depths of its innards and see like sizzling bile within it. And you hear the Elven seer in your mind go, you must not die, Moonshine, Sibon. You know, thanks for reminding me. I was thinking about just calling it quits right now in this fucking dinosaur trachea,

but I'll make sure to not die. That is hard one's turn. All right, I don't have a great track record getting things out of the trash mouth, but I'll try. Can I, is it possible to just run up and slide tackle, uh, the Trask's mouth trying to kick Moonshine out? Yeah, so that would just be a, essentially a shove attack against the Trask. So like we handled it last time, it'll essentially be, you use your hammer,

and if you hit, you can move it, push its head out of the way, so Moonshine can get out of grapple. Okay, so there's not way to save her and also not use my attacks so she can use her turn to never use my turn to go. You need to either try to push her out of the way or she's grappled right now. Okay, I'm gonna try to push her out of the way. Okay. Munch on, I hear you're talking to Tijuana in there. Make sure you're making promises you can keep.

That's an expensive call. I'm gonna use my luck point, only roll to three. Last luck point. Is it attack with Rosalene stats? Oh yeah, he has Rosalene stats. Do you need Rosalene stats? I do. It's plus 10 and then 3d6 plus 6.

Plus 10. All right, cool. Actually, your strength modifier would make it different. That's a hard one, crit 19. You're able to, hee hee. I'll say with a crit, she's not even next to him anymore. I'll say that like you swing Rosalene up and are able to like block the roots of it,

roof of its mouth. You're able to like get your sword up between its teeth as moonshine rolls out of the way. And I'll say with a crit, if you want to stand and kind of be like in the way, you do that I do all right swords kind of cool Yeah, it's pretty cool glad sucks, but it's so it's fine It's a match actually my sword So you have two more attacks hard one all right. I'll use them fuck up those gums

That's a 26 to hit and a 15 on the other. That hits 18 damage. This thing is not looking great, but at the end of your turn, hard one, go ahead and give me another perception check. Oh, 24. Hard one, you look over and you see Koldane finishes off the last of the orcs and he gathers his breath for a second. You see it's just him

and this dude wearing goggles and then you see he looks over at you and he goes, I don't know who you are, why you have my hammer or why a half elf can even wield it, but I'm not one to question the gods in the face of Armageddon. You see he takes the hammer and tosses it back to you. Sick, I catch it, left-handed, by the way. We instinctively catch the hammer, magically guided back to your hand, and he goes, we're gonna need that fight isn't over after this guy.

And you see he points up in the mountains, and you see dots, more of these orcs coming in. Basically the cleanup crewcs coming in. Basically the cleanup crew to come in. Well, fuck me. You're lucky a summer dwarf is here to save this fucking city. Ha, ha, ha. At the end of Hard One's turn,

it is going to take a claw attack at you, a hard one. Oh, I got a 31 to hit. Okay. 32 damage, hard one. Then that is B Balnor's turn. Balnor is going to run up and do his dang best. Two gets re-rolled a two and he gets to hits. He misses on the second attack.

He misses on the third attack. Balnor hits for a total of seven damage. My man. I'm helping. Yeah. You are bound or don't understail yourself. All right, now we are going to cut over to Bevin Maveris. So beep beep beep.

You guys up here in Iron Deep Castle. This keep built within the mountain with intricate architecture, but not rounded and elegant like the elves everything is square and purposeful. There are pillars reaching up to the tall, tall, vaulted ceiling and rectangular windows that have been shattered. And they're currently covered in sizzling green ooze. There is no natural light here. covered in sizzling green ooze. There is no natural light here. There are just magically infused geodes. They glow orange and red, and some of them kind of look like lava lamps.

Take off Balenoir's little jacket. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. You see up on a raised platform, where a throne would be, is the Jubilix, this giant steaming mass of poisonous green ooze with dozens of bloodshot eyes staring in all directions. You see strings of this green goo everywhere all around the castle,

eating through banquet tables and having chewed through tabards and banners of iron deep. You see the beast has covered an iron deep guard in this dark gunk, then whipped a gooey appendage to pull the guard into its body and the body just disintegrates, just melts away. But all is not lost. You see red with a long dagger dexterously jumps across broken tables. Table to table attempting to fight the beast.

You see Gunther is already knocked out on the ground and injured. You can see from behind a steaming pile of wreckage, a Gwain and Cobb have set up a system where Cobb is throwing potions and a Gwein is shooting them, and there's big explosions going into the Jubelix. Awesome. You see his blunderbuss melting away under this thing's goo. This thing looks like it has the powers to destroy equipment.

Like, O'Cobb does not have a gun right now. Oh! As soon as you guys arrive, you see, Erlin is there as well. He runs over to you guys. Oh, dude, they got her here. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. Things are so bad.

Yeah, it seems really bad. Looks over at Maveris. Oh, what? Who's he? Is this another boyfriend? Okay, all right, man. Come on. All right.

I feel there's a bunch of things in here. What's your deal? My name's maveris and I feel like you It's creepy man Hey, I'm a 25 It looks looks at Bev that's disgusting Oh, like you wouldn't We can sort it up beef later. I'm just as mad as you for some reason. Maverick has no idea what's going on.

So it's so hard for you to make fried pizza, kid. Yeah, that's true. Two mavericks is just some punk kids. It's like, it's African kids yelling at me. I just got here. I was teaching a class two hours ago. Berlin just did that for flavor. It is not his turn otherwise he would heal his friend

Gunther who is about to die. So first, in initiative order, against the Jubilocks is Cobb and a Gwayne. You see a Gwayne pops up from behind the little barrier, goes, Pooley freaking idiot. God, what's God damn it, I'm not used to this. Rose, a potion, shoots an arrow through it. Ooh, that is not a great role.

They miss, you see Cobb pulled a little too late, they are not able to get the magical explosion, the arrow just goes into the goo. All right, I'm sorry, please don't yell at me, please don't yell at me. He's rattled by how cool she is. What's their plan? Yeah, people are in charge in this one. That is the Jubilix's layer action.

We're seeing a new foe in action. Irland goes, yeah, okay, so real quick, so this thing's really bad. It poisons everyone it sucks people into it's body and dissolves the mom well I've seen a lot of people die today it's been really bad. Well that stops now okay. Yeah I hope so. I'm pretty good feast so I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna get poison. Oh you would dude. I wish we had to Would my bad time stop it right now we could hash out our beef. I honestly am getting a lot of tension between you two I feel like there's chemistry. I don't like that either listen. This is crazy Never stop hitting on Irland. I'm not hitting on Irland. I'm on never society. I think Irland is I don't know anyone here

I'm just a side here, I think Ireland is. I don't know anyone here. I don't know. It's your fault the wings make you so much hotter. You just hear, you just hear, oh come. God damn it, Beth, don't date a 25 year old. It's just nice to be wanted. But who? You guys see the Lair action.

The Jublex starts to bubble and get bigger and then there's this explosion of this deep, dark, green gunk. Everybody is restrained in this gunk, and you see, it covers red, it covers url, and it still covers a gwayne and cob, it like gets over the side of their little barrier, it starts eating through it. You guys are all covered in this thick gunk and you are restrained. That is, Mavis's turn.

So Mavis, being restrained just means that, I think if you cast spells, it doesn't affect you. Yeah, I don't think so. Mavis, whenever you do it, and like a really non-hot wave, you could. Mavis takes out out open the top button. Oh, jeez, come on. Whips out some sunglasses, puts them back on.

Oh. That's true. So how would you want to have a bad boy? It's just like a hot teacher thing. No, no, no. This is an insane dynamic for a 25-year-old to be in the middle of. I have a better spell technically, but I'm gonna take... in the middle of. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

I have a better spell technically, but I'm gonna take, let's do Sunbeam take two. Yeah! Yeah! Cast Sunbeam, six level spell, and that is, you know, a 60 foot line, so I think it should hit this thing. Certainly. And it's a constitution saving throw,

and then if it's radiant damage, I'm gonna use three sorcery points to give it disadvantage. Oh Now you're in your zone Yeah, this is so much better One super does not say he he it's gonna burn a legendary resistance because it would be blind other Okay, it actually is immune to being blind. You see it has one million eyes. Interesting. Oh, 26 halves of 13 damage.

13 damage. And it's in a line? Okay, yes it's just, cause I get to do it every round. Sweet and you shoot a beam forward. You see, you start sizzling and crackling. You hear a strange shriek coming from within the use. RING!

What? It makes these really weird sounds. Yeah, I've been on three major cities today. This is... Maverick has had an insanely long day. Yeah, yeah, you see a Gwayne pops up. What are you, some kind of like creep? Lower my glasses. Yeah. Don't lean in.

Gwayne goes to shoot an arrow and Maverick convulses it down. You see, um, Gunther has also been covered in this gunk while he's knocked out, and you see as a legendary action, the Jubilix is going to slap him with a gooey appendage and connect to Gunther. That is the Jubilix's turn. At the beginning of the Jubilix's turn, you see it pulls Gunther forward, you see Red Jump Sword. Don't fuck me, you Gunther Gunther, don't let it take you! He starts trying to stab through it, but the gunk just starts getting on him. Oh shit, shit! Starts pulling back, and it's all sizzling.

You see Gunther gets pulled into the Jubalix stand. Not a spell, is it? It's not a spell. And you see he quickly disintegrates. No! Red starts freaking out. And everyone goes to, no! That is one attack.

It is then going to acid lash out at red because he's right in front of him. And red's just standing there now. It's gonna hit on the first attack, or the second attack, and he hits on the third attack. Red does not have greedy. See, so red takes 49 damage. And looks pretty messed up.

Salting and gooing the wound. How dare that is, Bev's turn. Okay. All right. Are we all restrained? You said everybody's restrained, yeah. Can I throw a javelin from where I am though? You can, you can do it with disadvantage.

Does she have a misty stuff if you need it? Yes, thank you, thank you. I always forget about misty stuff. That's it? Yes, thank you, thank you. I always forget about misty step. That's a teaching moment. I remember, I just remember remembering Bab covered in skeleton arms. See, he's my teacher.

That's not what you think it is. My friend just died, dude. It was my friend too. I rehearsed this moment a lot in my head and this is not what I had in mind. I am going to Misty Step, just right up to the biggest gooeyest eyeball I can see and just slash right out. Sweet you.

Misty Step away, get yourself out from under this goo. You're all up in the mix with the Jubilix. Okay, I'm gonna use a true strike. That's the name of his radio show. I'll open the mix with the Jubilee. That's a five and a six, but with my bonus, that's going to be 17. That is not going to hit.

Can I take my second attack? Yes. Cool. Great. Christ, that's 14. I miss this, too. Bev, you go up and you swing and you miss. You see, yeah, the last remnants of Gunther dissing to great

as you get close to the go. No more. That is Red's turn. Red is going to get some sneak attack on this bench. And he is going to hit. That is a big 20 damage. Nice. Yeah, stabs into the goo,

trying to like reach in and still grab Gunther, but hand is like sizzling. Come on, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck me. End of Red's turn. The Jubilix is going to do acid lash on red and hits. That is 23 damage. You see, red is looking very messed up. But then on initiative five, Erlin runs up behind him, getting like misty eyed and he's

trying to pull red back. He's like, dude, dude, come on, you're gonna die too. I can't lose you too. And he is going to cast a fifth level cure wounds on the red, and he yanks red back from the monster. He heals them back up for 38. He go at the end of Irland's turn. The Jubilix is going to attack you, Bev.

Does acid lash on you? That's a 19-hit. Mrs. Mrs. This thing misses sometimes, baby. Woo! That is the end of the round with the Jubilix. Let's cut back over to the Tarask.

We are back at the top of the order. Mochon, that is your turn again. You are hearing the top of the order. Mochine, that is your turn again. You are hearing the screams of the elves in, in Osmovia. Mochine, you need this sword back? Sure, I don't think I'm gonna be using it anytime soon. You want dual wield? Actually, I don't think you can't

where I was laying that be too sick. I can try. I lose it in the snow as well. Yeah, it's has a bag, it's has a bag. It's like it's going like 30 feet underneath the powder. You have no idea where you're on Okay, I think that I think I'm just gonna run away Hard one. How are you health wise? Because I might skidaddle and focus on trying to rip a tear in the sky, turn the gash into a sash. Bash the gash, go on.

I'm just gonna go and me and Papa are gonna go try and rip apart the sky. Sweet, you have to get an at 20, right? I have to get an at 20. Okay, splash the gash. No, but I did get a at 20. Okay. Splash the gash. No. But I did get a, I got 22. 22. You're trying to shatter the rift,

but you're just not there yet. It was easier to just open it because it was already cracked, but this is you trying to pull the sky apart and you can't quite do it. And I guess I'm gonna stay out of range because I'm too low hit points wise to be seen by the harass,

because I don't wanna use, because I have to use a whole action to do this, right? Yeah. Okay, so I guess that will healing word myself. Okay. It is going to take a legendary action and a tail attack, a hapless crumper with disadvantage.

I know it's regular because I've been reckless attacking. Oh, but okay, great, it's regular. Doesn't matter, I got a 16 and a 10, which is a 29 and something else. Only 18 this time, hapless grumper. Great, half to nine. Half to nine. Absolutely monster.

That is the dwarves turn. There are only two little squads helping out, but King Coldain lived. And he is able to rally some more. Hard one, go ahead and roll a D4. And that's how many more squads join. Hello, you're king. Two.

Two. OK, it goes up from two to four. That, you're king. Two. Two. Okay, it goes up from two to four. That's a pretty good approval rating. Hey, 50, 50. Polarized times. Oh, so 40 damage. So super helpful. Nice.

Coldain, you see rallies, a bunch of people to come join and run up behind hard one. You see, hard one was standing in front of the tarask trying to protect moonshine, as she's trying to open the rift in the sky. Apple scrumpers on top of them stabbing into them, and all of a sudden all these dwarves run up and flank hard one and start swinging on it, and start doing like a ton of damage. That is Apple's turn.

How fucked up is the tarask looking? The Tarask is looking pretty messed up. Okay, I'm gonna have the barbarians go first. Nope. Nope, I changed dice. Get mad. Nope. They're so zin. Nope. You could get mad. Nope. Good lord. Nope, they're so zen. No. If you could get mad. Nope. Good lord. Nope. They just like diamonds. They just like diamonds.

Well, I gotta like her if it helps. Nope. All right. Well, that's a big fail. We're trying so hard. I'm going to be mad. I'm sorry, Captain. All right.

Then I guess I'll attack it. Yeah. Okay. And I'm going to reckless attack again. Hmm. 23 misses. 23 does not do it. But a 28 hit.

28 does. 28 does. Uh, so that's 21 damage. Apple, you have literally not been off this thing. You see, this trask is trying to buck Apple so hard. You see, a few times, trying to buck Apple so hard. You see a few times, it even rolls back and tries to roll her over.

And Apple is just like running across its body and getting back on its back. And just can stabbing into it. Man, if you consider it rodeo, you know, maybe that's my next thing. Maybe we'll bring some rodeo into the mudboarding competition. Still mud. Do you think that you could put a mudboard on the horse

or the horse on the mudboard? So you're riding the horse. Oh, I'm thinking about it. I think you could do it. Yeah, thank you so much. I know. You can lead the horse to water and you can also teach it to skateboard.

Yeah. That is the Terasks turn. The Terasks is gonna go after hard one. Now holding the King's Hammer with all the dwarves around him. That's up. Good God, that's a crit. I am gonna go down. That's a crit on the Tail Attack,

which is one of the weaker ones. So that's 50 damage. That's all? That's all you need? Oh, no, no, I'm still up. Okay, just on. Okay, tail attack, knocks you over, swings into you and a bunch of the dwarves around you.

You fly back, harass, runs forward. It's gonna do a bite attack on you. A bump. 21 to hit. That is my AC. You are bitten for 35 damage. Okay. And you are grappled.

Now it's got you like by the teeth and it basically like picks you up by your belt essentially and then slams you into the ground for a horn attack. That is 32 damage, hard one. That knocks me down. Okay, hard one. That knocks me down. Okay, hard one goes down. This thing still gets two claw attacks. It's gonna go after Balnor, because it's closer,

I'm gonna try and you should be backed off, right? Yeah, I specifically didn't report spores it to, so I could hopefully hide. I like ran away. Claws into, so it's got unconscious hard one in its mouth, holding onto it. C into Boundor for a total of 55 damage after two attacks. Didn't Kudur have a... Can't Kudur... doesn't Kudur have like a reaction hell?

Kudur does have a reaction. Can he give a goberry to hard one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Barry boy coming through. I'll say at the very end of the trash turn. Kudah runs forward with all of the courage of someone who got a weird talk while Barry is now. I am the Barry boy. And he's going to run up and feed a berry to hard one wall. He's like in the terrasque smell. He slammed on it in. Hard one, you come up for one HP. Hey, thanks.

This is really bad, man. Run, berry boy. Run far from here. Then hard boy, run far from here. Then hard one, that is your turn. I'm gonna say if the Terrasque has something grappled and it's mouth, as a legendary action, it can chomp and it can swallow. Okay, so hard one. This thing has you in its mouth.

Cooter is not even gonna try to like pry you from its mouth. Cooter does not have the strength to do that. You see, literally as soon as Kooter feeds you the berry, he just starts running away. This thing has heard enough that it is not fucking concerned about Kooter. It wants to kill like you or moonshine or finally get Apple Scrumper off its back.

Um, so DC 20 to escape, you may make an athletics check. Okay, here goes nothing. 22. Wooo! Wooo! Hard one, you are able to escape from this things mom. Damn, I feel like you gave me a smoothie, cooter. That was a fucking ass I evil, a little better.

Do you have anything you want to do with a bonus action or anything? I'll second win. Yeah, good call. You might need it because it is going to write off the bat, try to claw attack you and knock you back down. Cool. 24 to hit.

That hits. I have 20 HP now. Correction, hard one. You have zero HP. Oh, wow. Box you, box you back down with a tail attack, though. You're no longer in its mouth. No, that's what you don't want to get swallow.

That's the worst thing. Cool. Ciao, guys. Sweet. Hard one goes back down. That is Boundor's turn. Boundor takes three quick swings. Ooh. Boundor's turn Boundor takes three quick swings. Ooh

Boundor hits twice. Yeah for a total of 20 damage Wow, this thing's looking this thing is looking seriously messed up doing its weird negative or Just sucking in all this weird energy around it. Did somebody punch it stomach? You see The alladron of the Feywild are arriving soon. You see that they are already firing magical arrows down at the orcs that are approaching and the tide of the battle is already changing. Awesome. That is back to Kuders turn.

Kuders looks super-spray with a berry. Sprints over, gives hard one a berry. Hard one, you pop up again for one. All right, hey, thanks bud. Nice for the juice. over gives hard one a berry hard one you pop up again for one alright hey thanks the juice this to ask is very mad at you and cooter but does not have time for kudershits cooter fuck you hey fuck you man starts getting a scooter a berry

cooters just you notice cooters just popping berries like cash leading you know it's like cra crazy. Hardy is hell. Yeah. Right. Yeah. End of Kuders turn. This thing is going to claw Boundor and hits. Does another 34 damage. Oh, dear.

What the heck? Toward dear sweet dad. And he's looking pretty messed up, but he's still up. Boundor's a tough guy. Munchhine that is back up to you. Okay. I'm really sorry hard one Boundary I'm gonna heal you, but it can't be this turn. I'm going to cast Transport via plants the spell creates a magical link between a large or larger inanimate plant within range and another plant at any Distance on the same plan of existence

You must have seen or touched the destination plant at least once before for the duration. Any creature can step into the target plant and exit from the destination plant by using five feet of movement. So I wanna make a plant like near me be like basically a teleport, teleport, like I got port key so that they can then go to

some plant that's inside of Gladehome. Of Gladehome. Okay. Yeah, you know. So that all the Faye can just be... You think of that silver tree that's right outside the castle. Fuck, yes. And then I'm just like make a little sign that's like Faye this way. I just start like motioning. So whenever the Faye come in they're just booking it from the little twig that I may be a porkie. What the hell is that sign today? Everyone's chuckling at it. It has to be adorable. I do know. I think that she's gotten above herself quite honestly. You hear the Elven seer go, I've heard of God closing a door but opening a window, but this is ridiculous.

This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. Do you stuff spores? I'm not, I'm really low on hit points and I don't want the terrask to attack me. Okay, so Moujain, in order for you to cast this spell, you need to be able to find a plant in the frigid north here, right? I would like to find one of those

Charlie Brown Christmas trees. It was real long. Oh, go ahead and give me a nature check. Because this is the, Emily, this is dope. This is incredible. Uh, 16. 16. Yeah, you're able to find a little Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

You see the light from the Fey Wild is hitting it just right and amongst all of the snow, there's this single little green, evergreen sapling growing out of the snow. Aww. Yeah, so I out of the snow. Oh. Yeah, so I direct all the fade that way. And then I think that- You start doing like a can trip, like a light's can trip that starts firing up. Yeah, yeah, just like directing everyone.

I mean, ideally I just fade this way. It's like a little- Fade this way. Yeah, that's right. At the end of moonshine's turn, Sings gonna use this last legendary action to strike a dad. On his 32 damage to Balnor,

Balnor is now looking extremely hurt, but is still standing. That hell of a breakfast this morning. Hahaha. Don't worry, Balnor, I'ma come heal you. I just been a little distracted. Yeah, no, we've come heal you. I just been a little distracted. Yeah, no, we've all been distracted. This has been a bad day. Good job with the whole in the world though. Yeah, I also turned this tiny tree into a pork key.

Faye this way. Wow, that's cute. Can I get one for... do you sell these on Etsy? Yeah, yeah, I got an Etsy shop. Okay, all the dwarves that are surrounding hard one are super inspired by him, the king, and Flankam and GoUp and are gonna make their attack. They roll a D4. That's a big 30 damage, baby. Yes. This thing is looking quite messed up.

That is Apples Turn. All right, let's see if I hit. And I'm attacking recklessly again. 26 on the first attack. Yes. Yeah. And 29 on the second attack. Both of them hit.

Great, so that's 42 again. I get max damage with this sword, like automatic max damage. I don't have to roll for it. That's awesome. Um, and... Trump is life-boy. Let's see if he's berserk as his father.

Please get mad, please get mad. Please get mad, please. Actually, think about it, think about it, think about it, think about it, think about it, we'll be bad time in your life and how you wish you could fix it and take all of that out. You're all ghosts, so presumably you died. Maybe think about your death. Oh no, they died at peace They must have died really good death

No, they all lived amazing lives. They were beloved no Died in bed next to their wives and partners a gift a natural death natural bed and these. No, these folks, you have all been good. Lord, somebody else rolls for the next day. You do see Apple. This Tarask is super messed up. You stab into it, it lets out a mighty shriek and it starts staggering a little bit.

You see it starts going down to a knee and then gets back up. This thing's shit before they die, everyone starts shitting it down the wall. Oh, God. Negative energy coming out of its mouth and it's ass You know you could you think you could mudboard that shit. Yeah, I could definitely do that I'm maybe I'll mudboard off of it just you want to get off of it? Yeah, I mean I can fly so So you just jump off of it

Apple Scrubber just does a stale fish. You jump off. Can we say I do like a full like flip on my mudboard off the tail as if it's like a skate stand? Like a stone stop? Yes. Yes, I'm a great stone stop. Hi Ellen, shit.

All right. That is the terrasque stern, my big fucking scary monster. good person. I'm a great star. I'm a high on the shit. All right. That is the terrasque stern, my big fucking scary monster. He's gonna kill your god damn dad. No, no. The first thing it does is it bites him. We were just messing around. Boundor is knocked out, and in its clutches,

it cannot swallow and bite in the same turn. So it's got, it's got boundor and its clutches. Bad for the digestion. It is going to go ahead and claw attack Hard One. First attack, 34 to hit. That hits. 32 damage, Hard One. Oh, I was at one.

Jesus Christ. Hard One goes back down. Now does he have two fists full of my friends? Hard One just got slashed and fell down. Now he's going to attack Kudar. Oh no. my friends. Um, hard one just got slashed and fell down. Now he's going to attack Kooter. Oh no. Uh, that's dirty.

Automatically hits Kooter. Kooter normally only has 16 HP, but yeah. It's shuggin' very low. He got talked up a lot with an inspiring speech and uh, heroes feast. And a hero feast. So he is, how much total should he get from that? 18 extra? 13.

No, 30. It's 18 plus 12. 18 plus 12, yet 30 extra. Jesus, okay. So Kooter with heroes feast and inspiring speech is harder to kill than he should be. He takes 30 damage, instantly looks very messed up. This thing has to then use a tail attack

against Goddamn Kooter, two attacks against Kooter. I lived, I lived! Yeah, you said Kooter. Of course you did, you beautiful berry bastard. Jesus Christ, just crit with a tail attack against him. Oh no. You see, swings down, just instantly breaks K cooters back as soon as it hits him and cooter lands crooked in the snow.

Cooter don't worry we're gonna fix you okay. We beat you on your own berries cooters. We're gonna get that creeps bermed as burrilla. Good God. Wow. So romantic. Yeah, because his negative his negative his hit point max is only his normal HP 16 so God wait is what killed him?

He's dead. Oh, he's dead. I can't cure him. He's Broken in half wait, but with heroes feast heroes. He's not it's max. Oh, it's max. Yeah, he's not dead then He's just whimpering on the ground. Yeah, heroes used to increase your maximum. He just reaches you as dead. Yeah. Oh. So when I heal him, when I heal him,

he'll be able to heal for more. Great. Nice. OK. Then it's a really good breakfast. That was a tail attack. Yeah, I'm good at cooking. Now it is going to run forward and take a horn attack

against moonshine. What? Yeah. Fuck. How did you see me out being stealthy? I haven't been sporesin' you. You know what, right when he fuckin' comes up to me I spores him then.

I still got a fuckin' reaction. Uh-huh. moonshine that is a not one, so he uses you and you guys. Fuck you. The language of spores is that it's on your turn. Yeah, okay. I got spicy. You got pretty spicy. You just spit it. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm just spitting his face. I didn't give it enough time to like get the spores so it's just a bit. That is...

It's a Gatorade spit. So it misses with a a not one misses big time, but it still has Balnor in its mouth that is Hard ones turn I got a good death it go ahead and give me a death saving throw Matt 20 Balnor was dead He was gonna swallow him. Oh my god.

You got it. I could have stacked it. That's insane. You pop up at the beginning of your turn. You see the dwarves around you just look up at you. Who the hell is this guy? I'm just a summer dwarf. Summer dwarf. Summer dwarf.

Summer dwarf. Summer dwarf. Summer dwarf. Summer dwarf. Summer dwarf. Hard one, go ahead and take your turn. This thing is super hurt. So you can either try to kill it or you can try to get Balnor out, but it's on Death's Door.

I'm gonna try to kill it. Okay. First attack. Fort, no 16 hit hit does not do it. That's not one. Oh my god. It's out. Okay, so

that's a crit. Night. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I was the one who got the ladies in general. Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I was the one who told the wrong guy to go astray ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, sure. That bound or was dead. Not today. If anybody wants to look at my asshole right now, it's incredibly puckered. I would look at it. Check the Patreon for Aspix. If you're at home,

Jacob showing us his asshole. Talk about a stretch goal of Rally's light. It's so white. Hard one a stretch goal of our knowledge. White, it's so white. Hard one. Finish him. You see, you are clawed, you're knocked back. Kudr is brutally injured. This thing has balnor in its mouth, runs up,

rams through moonshine, knocks her over. You hear all of these dwarves around you are you can hear them all like whispering and stuff and they're talking about like how they can't beat this thing how they can't take it down and you know that you have to do it and you snap back in the consciousness you see this thing whips its head back throws bowler up in the air opens its mouth to swallow him, and what do you do? I look at Apple Scrumper surfing off, sur-a, mudboarding off the tail and its shit.

Moonshine with her porky. I'd like to grab its jaws with my arms and hold them open from jumping on Bailnore. And then I'd like to wink at Papa and just use every single muscle in my calves to sort of kick up the carapace just a little bit so it can scramble up in there. I'm gonna take it down from the inside.

With other worldly strength, as the dwarves of watch in wonder, that guys calves are huge. I've never seen, I've never seen the half-elf with quads that big. And you fully unhinge this thing's jaw, and you see Papa just starts scrambling in. And it's like the end of a movie or something when a monster gets eaten by like a bunch of tiny bugs. It's as if just Papa getting under the carapace and biting it while you literally rip its mouth apart. The tarask lets out a horrible roar, its legs buckle, its death rattle, shakes the earth

until finally the mighty beast slumps forward dead in the snow a few moments later, balonor. Unceremoniously plops down unconscious next to it. moments later, Valnor. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I need a drink man. I need a stick drink. Damn, I really, I ended up, wow, we'll talk about it more on the short rest. I had lots of plans. You guys didn't even, you guys rolled unlucky on the Aladdin showing up. They were showing up pretty late. I thought you guys were gonna need them

to bolster your allies a little more. You guys just wrecked this thing. Whatever. Apple Screpper just stayed on its back the entire time. Yeah, I'm balanced Strong right thing right up until she saw a stream of shit that she just couldn't The world is a board waiting to be written. I wish we could I don't think that won't be able to I wish we could get you to the Jubilee Xie could uh We'll save you some we'll save you some ooze for sure

Sweet, um, thank you guys so much, um, you know, we'll just have our guest plug things. Yeah, yeah Anything you really need plug cool. Um, Zach when you get plug. Oh, man. I guess I'll plug more dimension 20 Yeah, and then Yeah, my my own twitch. I'll say that. You know, that's just add Zach O'Yama on Twitch. What you play in? Right now, I'm playing Sakura. Same right game where you get killed all the time. Hell yeah. So it's kind of like this. Yeah, yeah, pretty much the same.

Got you. Shivan. I'm also on Dimension Tony. Please watch. It's good. I would also play this country. I have nothing to do with it. But it's just a great, uh,

I'm not going to play this. I'm not going to play this. I'm not going to play this. I'm not going to play this. I'm not going Dimension Tony. Please watch. It's good. I would also plug this country. I have nothing to do with it, but it's just a great BBC sitcom that you watch on Hulu that's very Apple Scumpery. I'm trying to get other people to watch it. It's so good. This country. It's called this country.

I'm on it. Yeah, that sounds very cool. Very cool. Oh, and guys, just listen to the short rest of our on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash nad pod that's NADD, DPD, don't sing yet Oh, okay, and follow us on Twitter at chmrf is me at called these call dwell at forny tom is shivan Adiacs her disemily at Zach o yama is Zach o yama and at Jake her wits is Jake her wits And you can tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod. That's nad pod

We are we are the youth of a nation. We are we are NAD pod that's NADD POD. We simply must thank our benevolent counsel of elders. We've got Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steele Breaker and Spencer Caskrew, a group of frost-wind judges who each gave Apple's Crumper a 10 out of 10 possible points for her amazing Fred Flintstone tale-serve. Unfortunately, all five dwarves were drowned in the flood of Tarask's shit that followed, but for a mud-boarding judge, there's no higher honor. Beardman Dan, Adam R. Danielle the Dastardly name, Alucard and Michelle O. Kudor and

Sprillis, five future children. One day they'll hear the bravery of their father and grow up to become Barry boys and girls all their own. Howldor Frostbeck, Maltzafort, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S. and Cutter W, a group of quick elves who hurry to Iron Deep to help kill the Jubilocks because the fate of the world depends on it and also because they thought it would taste great in a super spicy gumbo. Yum yum. Shubrit the mushroom, Alainus-y, Michael the mixologist, and Balnor's boy Victor T, for no-mish technicians hired by Pendergreens to install a Big Buck Hunter machine in every

room in hell. They're getting paid in demolition, Derby tickets, and honestly they couldn't be happier. Just in I, Jacob C, Alain M. Jostrich, derby tickets, and honestly they couldn't be happier. Justin I. Jacobsy, Elena M. Jostrich, and Dana G., a squad of chosen soldiers currently watching the hollow-goddy battles on a magic recording board, they're rooting for the band of boobs, which I guess kind of makes sense narratively, but it's still super weird, like they made shirts and everything. Damn you'll R.

Destiny, C. Jive G, early in Kathleen L. Forged, Rewidic, Sheffs that just opened a fast casual Heroes' Beast restaurant called Heroes VAST. Now you can get 6-level hospitality at just a first level price. Ain't that sweet. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakurai-este Sisywani, Michael L. Trayle the Kray-fei, and Jori-S Aladren warriors who jumped into the wrong tree and are now stuck up there.

Someone called the Frostwin Fire Department. They're just wearing leaves. Okay, I didn't pack for this weather at all. Help them. Adam R. Ryan, Aaron G. Jake L. and Zach C. A group of Frostwin dwarves who are freaking rooting for the terasks. What? The jerseys are out there with Frey and Jersey's impendence.

And oh, that's right, hard one just finished the terrask. That's what's up. That is what's up. Big Buck, Richard X Mach and a Sam L, Troy Mixy, and Gage M, a group of Crick L's having a crawdad bake that is so loud and rowdy, they're actually drowning out the screaming of other elves in Munchin's fungal network.

Wow, you guys gotta, gotta shake, gotta calm down please, all right? Dom R, Josh S. Nicholas C, Austin C, and guys gotta, gotta shake, gotta calm down please. All right, Dom R, Josh S. Nicholas C, Austin C, and Kristen P, the skillful and tasteful dancers at Hillhomes, nearly nude strip club, Sticky Buns, sexy time. Mike H, Matthew E, Samuel B,

Tilver G, and Oka-da, Kooters Weekly Poker Game, we're not gonna fucking recognize him when he comes back next week, cuz that dude is so fucking leveled up. AronC, TJM, the Noembarbarian, trust the traveler, and Robert F, the team that styled Fungal Keanu Reeves in the Fungal Matrix. Unfortunately, Munchai never actually interacted with him, but just picture Keanu Reeves covered in Mushroom.

And that is what he looked like. Anime intellect Zolo Dolodilin CM the wannabe DM and its Orin, the inventors of the carapace sincher, it reflects spells but also gives you that coveted hourglass waistline. Okay, you can be working that sticky bones with that thing. Colton B. J. C. C. Lulu, Eden R. H. and Blitzbrick Demetri. The sunglass manufacturers who've been trying to get a hold of Mavericks to strike a hashtag spawn deal with him. Unfortunately, Mavericks is such a loose cannon. He just keeps on dropping his speaking stone mid flight. Damn man, you gotta pick that thing up. I'm hopeless. Timmy R. Alex, M, Aaron, S, and Eric G, a team of vocal coaches who worked with the Tarask on its roar.

Believe it or not, that strange muted roar was a result of six months of intensive speech therapy. Before it was just sort of projectile shitting out of its mouth. So this is a, I guess, a massive improvement, really. Lucas B. Jordan L. Talley X. Mateo C. And Pup Toth, the crew of arcane scientists who invented the material that makes up the terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial

terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial terrestrial Daily, lease, barn's a-nator, and Mick Pucks, a squad of dwarves that were swallowed by the truss, and they actually enjoyed it. It's a well known fact that Frost Dwarfs love hot tubs, and the truss, Spiralfield Stomach, is the hottest tub of all.

Devin W. Chenua B. Jared E. Persephone, and Eric Mick D. Iron Deep Dwarfs, who overheard the argument between Erlin and Bevin quietly reported mavers to the police. That's good, I think. If Bev doesn't clear this up soon, our boy is going to go away for a long time. Reese and S. Eric and Andrea B. and Charo Arcadia's Not to mention Jay Parker. A crew of specialized Iron Deep Knights who are immune to poison and acid damage. They were consumed by the Jubilocks but can't be killed by it so they're just kind of chilling in a big pool of jello. That actually sounds pretty fun. Stephen C. Maxwell C. Mike K. And Omri M. Not to mention, Kaelin L. A team of frostwind

dwarfs who just happened to be tying their shoes the moment that moonshine ripped a hole in the sky. They also missed the terrestrial deaths when they were briefly left the battlefield for a team bathroom break. God, you guys gotta keep your head in the game. Scottie, No Thor the Prodigy Ranger, Mikanji and Dan, a band of bars who witnessed the battle with the trash they're planning on switching to electric because their new single Apple's rodeo can't be anything but Frey and Metal. Oh yeah, I can't wait to hear the pender greens cover. Richard C. Caron T. Curtis S. Michael C. and B.J. L. Apple scrumpers soldiers, none of them

know how to loosen aero or swing a sword, but at least they are really bad at mudboarding. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Barris and Ken of the Wizard's Tower and Nicholas P. J.V.'s terrible family. Though the one nice thing that they did was bring J.V. into the world, thankfully this hateful brood is now a pile of skeletons on the road to Glade Home. Kevin M. Angel B. Rahul N. and I am the Atlas fans of Pender Greens, new metal band in the first layer of hell. Yes, the band has an equal number of fans as it does drummers.

Mirabelle the Kitty Morphing gnome, SMAM, Robert Yens Christian T and Joe McGee all have their own thinking caps. Each one is customized in their own taste, for example, Andrea looks like a big foam, Wisconsin cheesehead, and so does Roberts. Meta amps, Atticus C, Tom S and Kazimar are the all- Amps, Atticus, C, Tom S, and Kazimar, the all-knowing, a bunch of newly hatched Eric Akra, whose mother of these proud bird recently pecked a tourist to death for saying,

oh, look at those cute baby kankus. Luke H. Kevin Newdals, Grace G, and P. Diddy, 985, a group of frost wind dwarves who opted to defend the city's back wall from the giants. No one's really wall from the giants. No one's really sure where the quote, back wall is or why it needs to be defended, but either way, these fine folks are heroically defending it. Thank you all.