Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 88: Faithless (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Siobhan Thompson and Zac Oyama join the Band of Boobs as they confront Akarot's final form. Bev has it out with Thiala, Moonshine criticizes Akarot's fashion choices, and Hardwon goes toe to toe with a warrior who is every bit his equal. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Follow our good friends from CollegeHumor on Twitter: @ChestangRaphael, @GrantOB, @LilyD, @ryguyguyry , @jacuzzitubbs, @KatieMarovitch, @tyang209, @LukeRobot, @rekhalshankar, @MikeWTrapp, @BrennanLM, @agbeardsley. Music/Sound Effects Include:"Medieval Marching and Chanting" by Yap Audio Production at Freesound.org."Anguish" by Kevin MacLeod at incompetech.com."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."Apotheosis" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Lilith La Trix" by Emily Axford."Angels & Devils" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. on the 6th, then we'll be back with regular episodes on the 13th. Usually we take breaks for a couple weeks after we finish long arcs, but as the campaign nears the end, we're going to take a week off here or there maybe once every 5 episodes. The stakes are super high right now, the edits are getting more complicated, and I want to make sure I have time to dedicate to everything. It's the same thing we've always done, but instead of taking multiple weeks off after 10 episodes, we'll take one off every 5 or so, and that's it, on with the show. ["Murphy's

Love of the World"] Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. ["Murphy's Love of the World"] Welcome back to Bahumya, everyone. Bahumya. Bahumya. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz.

Hard one, Surefoot. Emily Axford. Moonshine, Sabin. Dirty, honey, throwing, dirty 20s. Ooh, nice. Did I get a 20? What is it? 11.

11, starting now. Okay. It is a dirty 20 if you have a plus nine modifier, so we'll say that you do. Very true. And of course, called Voltanner. Beverly Togled the fifth currently on a bad date with the world's worst shaperone. Oh!

In the milk layer. It's a bad scene. It's not great. We also have returning guests, Shivan Thompson. Apple Scrumper, covered in Shit, ready for it. Oh, wow! And Zachoyama. Mavericks, the unscoulded.

Come on, clearly forgot. Slayer of the Jubelicks and lover of tricks. Ha! Ha! The cereal? Thank you. the Jubelix and lover of tricks. The cereal? Thank you. You're homework down as the teacher's coming to check it. The crazy thing is- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I wrote sketch with you for like a year. Yeah. I, you- We know you're smart. We know you're smart. That's the disappointing thing. I just don't like that you gave me an assignment. Yeah. You don't apply yourself, Mavis. Well, here's the thing thing. I just don't like that you gave me an assignment. Yeah.

You don't apply yourself, Mavis. Well, here's the thing you crushed it though, because I'm still laughing at that trick. Hell yeah. It's really good. And Mavis would like tricks. Yeah. Yeah.

OK, and just go. Bunchies loose rope. Anyway, guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, Mavis and Bev took on the Jubelix along with Erlin and his crew. The brutal stakes of the fight led to Bev and Irland's reconciliation, red survived by the skin of his teeth, and Maverick finished off the beast with a beautiful, original poem about love.

Hi, folks. Hi, Charlie. I'm Charlie. Charlie, original. Totally original. Oh, good. I love thinking about myself at home last week We actually had to retake a couple of

Seed descriptions because Jake was laughing so hard. I would just repeat it If you're repeating well you guys fought the Jubilocks the rest of the boobs in frost wind Fwarted an assassination attempt on King Col dain by one of the Alice spies, then continued funneling Aladdin and dwarves through the Fey this way, Charlie Brown Christmas tree portal. You all arrived in Gladehome, where the floating city was tethered to Osmodea by giant magical chains. You contacted Mima and Luconis, who told you that they planning on confronting Akarat to cut the head off of the snake, they joined you and you prepared to teleport off to face Akarat. Meanwhile in Iron Deep, Maverson Bev were summoned by Maz the Dorven Wizard to help save the

Dwarf and Edge from Dwarggar Zombies. You rushed to help but walked right into a trap. Maz tricked Bev and Irwin into teleporting away with him while Maveris Cobb, Red and Aguene were caught in an explosion. I was really listening to that episode, and we are fools, because Mas is like, you really think you should go to Beverly, and I was like, mother fucker.

He told me everything I wanted to hear, honey and milked words. I can't believe I wrote him like a car. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We spoke the harrowing words, you will work with me, whether you want to or not. And that is where we are now. Does it have to be? Seems bad. It could be. Maybe we can just like go to Denys.

Anyway, we come over to Apple Scrumper and cooter at Denys. Get the grins left. Three years later. That's the only two that survived. Get your own milkshake. Sucks are friends, Dodd. Sucks everyone died.

And you and I moved to Shadow Phil. All right. Bit dark here in it. They're for sure as a dinnies and shadow. Yeah. Right next to the fucking DMVs. Anyway, so Bev, you are in the middle of this cave. There are torches all around you.

You can see that the one exit of the room is blocked. It's this long hallway. Chosen archers have their bows trained on you, and there are a bunch of wizards wearing the black masquerade masks of the grave robbers, the mage guild that is aligned with the chosen. Irland is pinned to the ceiling, struggling, being held there by Mazel Thul, and you stand in the center of the circle of enemies with Thialla. She's tall and commanding to begin with, especially you being a halfling, but she's surrounded by a radiant aura and floats slightly, giving her the appearance of being even more towering. I do that thing where you stand up on one foot to make it look like you're levitating.

I see you can levitate too, Beverly Togo. Exactly. We are both blessed with the levitatability. Yes. Equally blessed, I would say. What is it you want? I want to keep the world safe. You all have helped me defeat Acharot. We've been working together whether or not you know it and I just want to make sure that the world is safe going forward because there will continue to be evil even after Akharaah is thwarted.

If you really want to help, then heal us and let us go, because Akharaah is still out there. He hasn't been defeated yet, and there's still work to be done. Beverly, you and your friends are extraordinary people, and I'm confident and hopeful that they'll be able to beat the last rogue God on the run. And since you elected not to work with me by choice, I hope we lose a few of your friends along the way. That's just petty. That's why people don't like you,

because you say things like that. I know. It doesn't matter if people don't like you because you say things like that. It doesn't matter if people don't like you. Just get you got to work on your optics a little bit, I would say. The floating thing is great, but like then you say stuff like that, you kind of spout these really harsh truths and just critical words. And it really I tell it like it is. Beverly. Well, I'm not afraid of ruffling a few feathers. Can't knock that. And you've got plenty of feathers to ruffle on all sides, I see. While I'm talking to her, can I do an insight to see if these wizards have like counter spells prepared?

Of course. Okay. Uh, that's in nine. A nine. Mm-hmm. Even with a nine, by falling for this trap, you are in the middle of the red wedding, and if she wants to kill you, you're dead. Cool. Great. Cool. So there's nothing I can do. It doesn't. It seems like too late to request an edit. Yeah. Yeah.

You see, theologos, you are an extraordinary individual Beverly. It just so happens to be that I am more extraordinary. You are the wet stone that sharpens the blade. And you are going to make me more powerful than any God that has ever existed. Because being a God is not enough. Asmodius was killed. Your friends defeated a tarask, you defeated a Jubilix.

You've shown me that what I've done so far isn't enough. Why does it just have to be you? We defeated all those things together, don't you see? It's not the power of one, it's the power of many. That's where you're wrong, Beverly. Extraordinary individuals are the ones who shape the world. The chosen soldiers in that valley that were descending on Iron Deep,

I lost thousands of them. And it was worth it to get spectacular individuals. You see, she flashes her hand and she has two big yellow diamonds in them and you instantly sense the presence of Ulfgar and Alonus. No. They're your friends. They're your friends. They were my friends. And then they lost sight of the forest. They were worrying about the trees. Trees are beautiful and cool.

That's one of the first things you learn as a green tooth. You hear Earl and Struggly, he gets the ceiling. He's right. Trees roll and you suck. Tell her about those hot trees on that. Some of my friends best friends are trees. What are you going to do with them? They are going to help me just like you are going to help me. There'll be a good boy and go to sleep. Go ahead and give me a charisma saving throw.

Okay. Oh, but your charismatic. I am charismatic. Oh, did you add four to yourself? I do add four to myself. I add plus nine and plus four, so 13. Yes. What's 13 plus 18?

She's already charged. You see, she murmurs some like divine words. Looks super smug and you just don't move and you're still standing there and she goes, oh god damn it, shoot him! And just arrows everywhere in all directions. We can take the time to calculate the damage, but you're knocked out.

She does non-lethal damage to. Okay. There are just a bunch of fireballs. She does non-lethal damage too. Okay. Cool. There are just a bunch of fireballs. You're gonna fight a bunch of things. You get to, she is impressed. She's like, what? Oh, good.

Got down. I'm just like pulling out the arrows as more like flying to me. I tried throwing arrow out. Yeah, you run. You just like straight up cut down to archers. A bunch of dudes stab you. You're a twin in your mouth. She shouldn't have insulted Trees, man. Yeah. You just like straight up cut down to archers a bunch of dudes stab you She shouldn't have insulted trees

You unfortunately get non non-lethally boormeared You get shot with a bunch of arrows and then she walks up and she hits you with a bud of her sword And everything goes black. Oh lame. So let's cut over to osmodia moonshine hard one apple and balnor You guys are in glade home the shield is starting to flicker getting ready to go down And Lucana send me mar there with you guys and go, are you ready? I can take you to Acura to the base of his tower. His tower has magic. I won't be able to get us to the top, but I can get us close. Lucana's me-mar ate up before we do,

and I gave him the, I still got Tupperware Hero's Feast, right? Feed him a little Hero's Feast. They can no longer be poison. Yes, the Connist Wisdom. You know what? How is everybody HP wise? Because we didn't we take a short rest?

You guys were able to take half a short rest. Half a short rest. Yeah, I'm actually pretty good. Yeah, you guys are pretty good. Because Mima has cure wounds. Oh, yeah, me. I take it. I take like a first level cure.

Okay, Mima casts first level cure wounds. Heels you for nine moonshine. Nice, Mima. No problem. Young and it's been a long time since I got to cast a first level cure. You want me? You want me to do the first level? It's like when you would scrape your knee.

How about you, hard one. You got a scrape knee? I got two scrape knees to be honest. Okay, I'll do a level two for you, hun. Hey, thank you. She heals you up for 17. Ooh, I love it. She's going to heal Balnor up.

She's got to burn a level three, but that'll get Balnor to his Not his hero fees hit points, but his his regular hit point max. I'm fine Nine, Apple, honestly, you're glowing you could be in like a gay to make you so much, you know actually shit body masks They're really really good for the skin. Yeah, I can see I feel like your pores, I can like eat off of them. Oh absolutely. You could if you wanted. Did you say, eat off a shit body mask? Look at her pores, they're immaculate.

They are immaculate. You know, when all this is done, maybe I'll open up a spine, clay too. The shield is down. You see, no, I'd love to hear more about his stuff. Yeah, you see as the shield finally breaks and orcs begin to, they begin to try to swarm in, but there's a bunch of alladgerin archers and frost dwarf berserkers, warriors, and a glade home elf fighters and stuff,uging them on the front lines there. Lucanus wraps his arms around you guys,

and teleports you. Okay, I give one final salute to the brave fighters that are sticking around. Yeah, Dirlin and Cran are there leading some. You see, they did bring along some of other green nights with them. The green nights are mostly in the summer court, so this was all people who came in through the spring,

but there were some majors and stuff that were able to get there. Were they having a party? Yeah, they were. Yeah, there was, the people who were summering in the spring court. We're able to come. They're all wearing boat shoes.

Yeah, so you see some green night halflings in boat shoes helping out in the fight. You see, you see Cran is barking out orders and being a battle master and Durlin's going around inspiring people and giving them like bardic inspiration and stuff. In fact, he looks at all you guys. He's got a bunch to burn.

He's gonna give everybody bardic inspiration. Ooh, this is the first time we've tasted this since Rusty the Bard. My God, it brings you right back. Yeah, you see Durlin looks at you. Scoutmaster moonshine, that crown, you're glowing. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm just borrowing it.

Oh, thank you. Hey, no big deal. Scoutmaster, hard one. Did you get bigger? Did you get, what is your bench at? It's got to be higher than the last time I saw you. Uh, I couldn't, I couldn't be sure I'm holding back tears. LAUGHTER And you look at this absolute unit, there's apple.

I wrestle with him. You quickly defeat him. I want to wrestle with this girlfriend. You'll do a little bit like wrestling. You inspire each other by wrestling in the middle of this end of the world fight. So Lucana teleports all you guys. And you guys find yourselves near a wizard's tower

at the edge of the fallen city. It is night, but everything is a light with fire, both of torch light and pyres throughout the city, but also flaming arrows and burning buildings, just war going on below you. You guys see, Osmodea is very mountainous, and you are on like the upper plate of the city. The city is basically built around a canyon, so you guys are on like the upper part,

and then Glade Home is kind of tethered to the lower part. Is this our first time in osmodea? Yeah. I think I just turned to hardwann and be like, you know, I wish this wasn't the way we were seeing it, but there's a bit of privilege in seeing it in there. Yeah, I feel like we've seen it all know. Yeah, right? Weird. Bound or shits himself.

Oh my God, there are actual or exkilling people drink up. It's an actual nightmare. So yeah, you see Glade Home is at the bottom. It is chained down by giant magical chains with hooks dug into the floating island. The buildings in Osmovia proper are all crumpling. This is a fallen city after all, but there are war tents and lights from the gathering orcs that had been staying there.

You guys also see various menacing wizards towers that are all in various forms of decay and the wizards tower that you guys have arrived at overlooks the entire city. It sits atop the upper plate and rises hundreds of feet in the air. It's built of black stone and leans precariously over the edge of the plate towards the city below. There is clearly some kind of magic keeping it up here. It looks like it was designed as not a scout tower, but as a place for a necromancer or a wizard to like lord over the city or to menace the people who who live there. Can I see? Can I check? Look it up on Zillow. You look it up on you look it up on Zillow. What's the estimate? It's a it's a fixer upper for sure

Yeah, oh they split this. Yeah, it's only 80 grams. Oh, yeah, it's a really shitty neighborhood. I will look at the cops She guys can hear the sounds of battle echoing through the canyon below Glade home is surrounded on all sides, but they are a magical people. So the orcs are just going at them with crude tactics. So they are trying to overwhelm them with numbers. Like they're just climbing in and getting slaughtered. Dudes are like getting flung via catapult and are getting blasted out of the air by mages.

The people from the free cities that are getting killed are the people that are on the front lines, like archers and stuff getting yanked out by an orc, out of Glade Home, out into the piles of orcs and frost dwarves that are like berserkers that are jumping out and fighting on the front lines. So it looks about even between the orcs having the advantage and Glade home the elves and the eladger and having more kind of magic

But where you guys are you're immediately able to hide you guys find like a bunch of boulders You see that there aren't any orcs up here and the fighting is all happening down below But it does look like a carot has a security system For the tower. There are two huge magical golems standing at the entrance. They are made of rocks and the space between them has this molten orange lava-like substance and they have glowing magical runes that flash on them as they move. You see they have glowing orange eyes. And when you say the lava, is that like a lava moe or it's just like a...

No, it's like they are magical lava golems essentially. Oh, I see. And you see as you guys arrive and kind of hide off to the side so the guards can't see you, Mima and the conist kind of look at each other and then Mima turns to you guys and goes, Munchan, if I could be honest, I know Y'all have had a long day. Yeah. Your father and I are mostly spell casters.

We have spent a great deal of our spells. If y'all wanted, we could distract these golems and clear the way for y'all. I don't know how much help we're gonna be in the final battle against Akira. If you distract these golems and let us and give us free passage, then you will be in immense help. So I think that sounds just about right. What do you think? Harbohon's grumper? Yeah, works for me. That's all we need and I'll tell you what if you know

Should start to hit the ceiling fan. I'll just scream real loud. You know my scream real well I know I know you're screaming. I'm actually sound decent amount of life. So if it's really high pitch that's me I've never screamed in my life. I just make up But if you hear that ever he we're all dead If I hear a gut or all moan from Apple, I'll know that everyone is dead All right, we'll take care of these two Okay, y'all be safe You as well tree strad you see she like

Grabs in your by tree appears behind one of the gollums And then look howana goes excelsior And appears next to the other golem Mima turns into like a big polar bear and starts wrestling one of the golems and Lucana starts shooting Start shooting like a cone of cold at one of them and clears the way for you guys All right, let's beat feet while this is happening All right, let's do it sweet So you guys rush into the tower while Lucana's

and Mima cause the distraction. You climb the spiral steps of the tower. It's extremely dark, but lit by dim torches. You see on the wall are carvings of these faces with twisted smiles and menacing eyes. And as you're going up the stairs, it looks as if I certainly want to pause and investigate these faces. Go ahead and do an

investigate check. I'll help her. You hold her eyes open. We're here. Yeah, Papa holds one eye open and hard one holds the other one. I have plus five for intelligence right now because of the thinking gap. Yes. Hey now. Oh my god. Well I'm not gonna use the net one instead. I'm gonna use the three. I'm not in eight. Okay, in eight. Moonshan, these are some scary faces.

Ah. Ah. Ah. The bounder shits himself again. Ah. Y'all, don't touch the faces. Why, they're scary, they're scary. They're scary.

Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice. I don't like a scary face. I commuted with Melore and she informed me these faces are scary. These without even a good investigate check or anything, you do see that it does seem like the eyes are following you a little bit. Okay, we're expected. Okay. Beer report scores, I want to say, if we are expected, is there anything that y'all want to do

to, if we're expected, right? If we say we're going in doing something else, that's right. What do you mean? Like we're here to clean the toilets for something. Right, right, we discuss. I think we might be the hast those sort of, all right, well, I didn't understand. So, like, are're really in disguise? I just didn't understand all right Like if I say fancy lab mean to you. Oh, I was there for operation fancy that I am absolutely down For it means a total part of kill okay But if I said something if I say out loud I going to go in there and smash my hammer through the door, then they'll be expecting us to do that. And you could like, we can sneak in or something. We could do something that's a little less

expected. Yes. Maybe just like everyone say something you're not going to do right when we get caught. You know, fuck me. This is not anybody. I like the idea in theory. I really do. I'm gonna say some shit. Watch this. Bounder just goes, I'm the leader. Everybody up the stairs. I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna go in, okay? Y'all, I'm gonna stay outside and you can come out if you need to be healed. Okay cool. I just hope nobody hits me in the leg With my legs the weakest part of me and I'll obviously get dropped down if someone gives me a Charlie horse That's good. Yeah, I hope I don't get hit in the tic because I ain't got no cushion there if someone slaps me in my tic I'll honestly I'll yield

No question there if someone slaps me in my tick. I'll honestly I'll yield Everyone give me a collective deception check with disadvantage Just one just one. We just need one a team one 13 13 okay, hey man, maybe What does that expression do how it's an extra D.A. Oh, you might know what. If you want to, oh, I only get to use it once. Yeah, then I'm good. If only you had luck points.

It's definitely not only 8th level. What do you mean? It should be a D10, I think. Oh, sweet. You guys have a D10 of Bartykinspiration. Oh, yeah. And that gives a really tight level. Yeah.

Sweet. So you guys do your little weird plan of saying wise in front of the faces. OK. Before, OK, since we're not going to see them, I am going to go into a phone call for you. And I am going to go into a raid. Sweet. I'm going to show my nut to one of the things.

Just one of them. You pull out your nut. You see the eye. Tries to divert its attention. I sid of them. You pull out your nut, you see the eye, it tries to divert its attention. I sidestep. You're able to sidestep and remove it. It's unavoidable. As it shakes back and forth, you're

able to wobble your nuts. So it always gets a phase full of nuts. I think. Boundor, he was mad versus was here for this. Somewhere in Mavis is smiling. Boundor is losing his shit. his red face, dude, stop. I love it. Hell yeah.

It's too funny, man. So you guys get to the top and see that the stairs end as you reach the open air. You're on this big circular platform, top of the tower, kind of classic rook look, if you will. It overlooks the city below. You see it's got a short stone wall along which there are statues of gargoyles and sconces under them. But you also see facing away from you looking out on the city below is a moving gargoyle.

His huge bat-like wings flap to keep him steady. You see as he turns to look at you, he's got gray skin and a hunchback. His long neck is slouched forward. He's got this long black and white beard that grows out as if it's just really long sideburns. It's a bad beard. He has massive claws that sit at the ends of fists like boulders and long talons on the

end of his feet. He is standing atop a large black and gold chest, like a treasure chest. His talons are clinging to it. There is a two-foot wide circle in the middle of it, through which you only see darkness. In the middle of the chest? In the middle of the chest, it's just black. It's just dark. You can't see what's inside. It's just dark. And he turns and he addresses you guys and he goes, oh, you again, ruining another one of my rituals. Ah, so we did categorically ruin your other ritual.

That's good because for us it felt like a peer victory, but I'm glad to know that it was a ruin for you. Oh, it's a it's a period of victory for you overall. Okay, so I win. What? No. I mean, okay, look. I mean, I assumed best case scenario is going to be a period of victory. Shut up. You really shouldn't go ahead with your career. Shut up.

I'm thinking, Cat, but everyone's shut up. Yeah, sorry, dude. I'm just like at... Take that hat off. Take that hat off and keep it in me. You take your vest off. What? It's 21 of a vest on. Yes're right, you take your vest off. What? It's 21st of all. Yes, you see it's a little vest.

You have a tactical vest and there's nothing in the pocket. Yeah, it looks like a photographer's vest. Absolutely Donald Duck in it, nothing on the bottom. We're ever gonna have a ton of time to get used to this body. I'll be, I didn't notice the verse When I first put the body on okay Are there like holes where your wings in it? Yeah, clearly my wings are out What everyone's focusing on the verse

Everyone's focusing on it is thing. It's very distracting. It's the stuff in those things. Everyone relax. I'm going to take off the verse. He takes off his face. No, no, no, you can't take off the verse. You committed to the verse. Fine.

And you put to the best effect. Uh, world building. All right. Well, you know what? I'm here to strike a deal. You can have whatever's in that chest that you see. It's some kind of treasure if you let it go. Probably more vest in there. How many vest do you have in that chest?

He thinks about it for a while. Two. God, it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. God, it's worse than I thought. Ha, ha, ha. Best of holding best. Ha, ha, ha. Alright, yes, sir, it's all very funny, okay? Laugh at Akarat, okay?

Ruin another one of his schemes. What's your scheme this time, huh? What scheme? What's Glaid Home got to do? Why you gotta bring Glaid Home here? I wanted to destroy it to Rule over the people who would surrender to me wasn't expecting you to bring in a labyrinth wasn't expecting you to defeat the tarask But let me tell you something moon shine siren hard one short foot

Looks at you apple real quick apple scrimper Apple scrimper right, you know that terrestrial is pretty easy to kill it's not easy it's pretty easy Scrempor pretty much Ron Ron like a carousel yeah it was fun honestly I was thinking about actually making a ride that's just like you get to ride on the back of the track she bathed in its blood and shit and mostly it's shit yeah take a whiff of this

I held that my arms I held Wawd it I control Wynch. I held Wawda to her. I am perfectly aware that I have lost this battle against the Aula. I cannot hope to win now. So you admit, so you knew all along, you went after us knowing that theala was just getting stronger And that you were gonna have to face off with her. Why don't you just go after theala? I wanted to work with you when I didn't see a fucking contract come across my dad

You gave you gave all young teenage boy not even Oh, you like to enter a contract with you a coin and I'm sure that he gave her, he gave her 16 year old a quarter. I'm sorry, the friend's home does not exist. You've just like decided that you haven't said anything, you just decided that you're like in love with them or something. Well, what capacity do you want to work with us? I don't want to work with you anymore. At this point, I disdain for you is worse than my disdain for theala.

So it's just a personal grudge at this point. At this point, you're taking out theala. So when theala is decapitating you, you're gonna be like, well, at least I fucking took down that tiny druid who all she wanted to do was make a pod of John Belaia for all her fucking best friends. I cannot be killed.

I may have lost the battle, but eventually I will win the war. The Alla will die someday. You will die someday, but I will not. And it's because you got your little spirit and so many different factories of Vylacteries. Victories of Vylacteries. That's right.

So I will come back someday. And until then, I will drag as many of you into the darkness as I can. How many? Apple Scrumper, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Ooh, well, at least we have advantage from here. Mmm. Bleee.

Well, that's a nine. Seems like a good place to maybe use that little bodic. Mmm. Mmm. Fuck. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I I'll let him. Okay. Brutal. Apple, you have a memory that, as you guys were walking up the stairs discussing what to do, moonshine told you that one of Akarats' phylacteries, the one that controls this body, is in that chest, and you need to reach in, grab whatever's in that chest, and pull it out. Great. I go for it.

Apple starts to run for the chest. I'm gonna get you, you weird vested person. What? No, what are you doing? God damn, that scrumver. Smash this thing. Oh, what do you do? I try and open the chest, is it openable? It's got a big hole in it, like a two foot long hole.

That's just open? Yeah. I reach into the hole. You guys see as Apple, Scrumper, reaches her arm in, her arm is completely severed. I'm just destroyed. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've got a great soul. It's a two-handed weapon. Oh, no. What's your thing? You can let you get in. Yeah, maybe I can do it one-handed. Apple, you pull it back. You instantly realize that you were the victim of a modified memory spell.

You see, it is, your wound is basically like cauterized. It's almost like a light saber type wound or something, but you have lost your arm. You have fully lost your arm You bitch you pay for this. Oh, will I? Yes I'm gonna find the rest of my arm and I'm gonna shove up your ass your arm is gone I know it's not because it's up your ass. Why don't you reach? Why don't you reach in the box and find your arm? I'm now reaching out of the box reaching out of the box Why are you reaching the broken box? I'm not reaching the box.

Reach into the box again. Reach into the box again. You fucking reach into the box. Put your head into the box. Put your fucking ass in the box. Put your head into the box. You put your ass in the box. We are going to cut over to Iron Deep.

So when Iron Deep, Bevin' Irland just disappeared. Everything is so bad. Maveris, you've immediately started arguing with a Wayne and Red and Cobb about where he could possibly be. You guys are standing in front of the wreckage of the Iron Deep Dwarvenage, as you guys are going back and forth, well where the hell could he be?

Do you think there's actually even, who are you? My name is Old Cobb. Listen, what do we know? He's somewhere nearby. Go ahead and make a perception check. 18. 18. Maveris, you see a dwarven assassin

with like a black cloak on over like hardened leather armor Holding up a dagger. He's got like a little white mask over the bottom half of his face You see him as he launches in to try to stab red because red is injured everybody roll initiative Me too you're knocked out right now. We are gonna we are gonna cut you during the battle, but you don't need to roll in the ship. Nice. 12. 13. 21.

I'm going to roll in the ship for fun. Great. Eight for me. I rolled three on my fun initiative. Good thing it was just for articles. I'm fun. Okay, we are going to start in Osmodia. The first one to go is Apple Scrumper Apple. Your arm has been cut off at the elbow. Great. You still got the elbow. You still

got the elbow. I'm going to say you can use your great sword with disadvantage. You're very strong. You have 20 strength, right? I do have 20 strength. Yes. I will allow you to use your great sword with disadvantage. You're very strong. You have 20 strength, right? I do have 20 strength. Yes, I will allow you to use the great sword with one arm. You will roll with disadvantage unless you want to do a reckless attack. How heavy is this chest that I put my arm into?

Is this like a little chest or is this like a big old? It looks pretty big. When you reached in, obviously there was something magical in there that Destroyed your arm as soon as it touched it Okay, so I can't just pick it up one in one hand and chuck it at at this guy, right? You can try to You can do and like I don't want to just shove his head in there, right? Yeah, that is my plan Yeah, you can do in a pose athletics check against him if you want to get the chest away from him. Oh he's on the he has a chest. Yeah he's like clinging to it. Oh um in which case I guess I'll just hit him. Okay yeah you just you you reach your arm in,

lose your arm, probably let out that little grunt, hear Mima from down from downstairs. Y'all are right up there, it's everybody dead! We're fine, Mimal. We're well on our way. Don't worry about us. Apple just instantly wips out her great sword and swings it at him in the middle of Akarad doing like a stupid laugh. Ho ho ho, disarmed her, but whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. And I'm gonna, yeah, right, closely attacking him. You reckless with it. That's a 17. 17 is not gonna do it. I'm gonna swing with one arm, bravely at Akarat is able to dodge out of the way. You can make another attack.

Oh, my can, I forgot. Yeah. All right, that's a 24. That'll do it. You swing at him, he's able to duck underneath it, but then you swing back around as he's laughing at you and cut him across the chest. Oh, stop. And that's 21 damage.

21 damage. Nice. Oh yeah, it's just auto-damage. You're gonna throw. Man, I want an item like that that makes me not do math. What a powerful aspect of it. I do miss the satisfaction of rolling. I like rolling the dice.

I don't like that at all. I want to roll. Then at the end of your turn, Akarat is going to use a legendary action to take a tail attack at you. Any rolls of advantage, because I like it. He rolls with advantage. That is 30 to hit. Yeah, no, that 30 to hit.

Yeah, no that's a hit me. It's gonna do 15 damage. I have to seven. Have to seven and you are now restrained. Ah bitch. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So you are stuck there, you're gonna be rolling with disadvantage. You already roll with disadvantage.

It honestly isn't that bad for you. You are already up in his business. So wraps his tail around, Apple Scrumper. Then that is going to be initiative 20. That is his layer action. He is going to, you see, he unhinges his jaw and begins singing. and begins singing. Oh, it's a little shoo-tee-mo-ho. Do a little traveling show around the Humea. That sounds lovely. He's so misunderstanding. I dropped my hammer.

I know. You see, unhinges his job and begins vomiting up a nude copy of Hard One Shorfoot. What? What? What? What? What comes out like covered in goo, like plasma? Whoa, look at that guy's chest.

What? I was talking this. I was talking half Elf Hard One, human half Elf Hard One. Half Elf Hard One looks like Hard One. He's going to run up and try to grapple you hard one. Hey, Twins, careful. Go ahead, I would like you to roll an athletics check against yourself. He's going to run up and try to grapple you hard one Twim careful Go ahead. I would like you to roll an athletics check against yourself. So opposed athletics So first do your your evil version. Oh, okay, so evil version evil

Plasm covered hard one runs up and grabs regular hard one got a 23 23 okay regular hard one I got a 28. 28. Yeah, you submit past them. Watch this. It keeps repeating one thing. I mean, you don't know a lot of words, but the ones you know are good.

Yeah. Yeah. Then that is Akarats turn proper. I's gonna go ahead and take three quick attacks. Punches at Apple Scrumper. Ooh, 21 to hit on the first attack. That's gonna hit. That is 22 damage with the first fist.

Half to 11. Half to 11. 35 to hits on the next one. That is 26, half to 13. And then gonna bite at ya. That's in that 20. That is 26, half to 13, and then gonna bite at ya. That's in that 20. That is 38 damage on the bite. That is moonshine's turn.

You see, hard one is wrestling with a greasy nude version of himself who keeps screaming watch this. Hard one is winning the wrestling match. Who good for him? You watch this, motherfucker. Watch this. Watch this is winning the wrestling match. Who good for him? I mean I'm watching, I'm watching. Well you see Papa is eating popcorn. Apple Scrumper is currently restrained by this dude's tail and you see him just pounding on her just punching her with these big boulder fists. Moon Shine that's your turn. Okay I think that this is

gonna be a tricky motherfucker who can sidestep magic and I think I'm just going to guardian of nature but do it with my hat. Okay so that so the hat maintains the concentration. I will concentrate for you, Queen of Elves. Thank you, Tijuana. I can't wait to win. Tijuana. T-D, am I saying it wrong? What do you say? What am I saying? Tijuana.

Tijuana. Esemquah. Esemquah. Esemquah. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, but right now I got to- What are you talking to? Ha ha ha. Oh, hey! I hit him.

So I'm going to go after Akra. That's going to miss, but I'm not sure I see. Oh my god, I rolled stuff poorly. Does a 15 hit. A 15 does not hit. All right, well, Papa is going to go up. Papa, trap them. This is a 20 hit. Oh, Papa, jump him. This is a 20 hit. A 20 does hit.

Alright. That sweet little critter. Papa, I'm starting to bite in at his tail, trying to get it off Apple Scrumper. Okay, so Papa hits four, 12. Papa hits for 12. Papa bites into his tail for 12. Oh, get that little round off my tail.

That's sick of my twin. And then he has to do a save to not be knocked prone. Ooh, that's a 14? It's a... That's a... Oh, blah, blah. Baba, I'll say, Papa was able to hit. I'll say Apple Scrumper is removed from being restrained.

He's able to like pull it off enough. And you see, he starts to like waver as if he's gonna fall and then straightens back up. I am gonna spore him for 18. Oh. Acid damage. And I wanna look at him and then look at that hole in that chest and make like a motion like you're going there.

Where you wanna stick your arm in it? No one wanna stick your head in it. Stick his ass in it, moonshine. Stick your ass. Just feel like his ass makes less decision than his head. I don't know, I've been listening to his decisions. No, you're all obsessed with this box. At the end of your turn, moonshine, he's going to do a legendary action. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw.

I'm gonna do it with advantage because of my hero's face. 24. 24. Moonshine, you see a vision of you guys winning this fight, you defeating Akarats, but Akarats killing Papa, Apple Scrumper, Balnor, and hard one. But you steal yourself and you shake it off. And you see that it was just something put there by him and not some kind of actual future. I look at him and I say you think I will fall for that. I know that. That is hard once turn.

You are not grappled, do you want? Watch this. Brother, watch this. Brother, you and I, I can't think of our goal. Watch this. Watch this. Oh, fuck off, then. What?

Hey, Akarad, you have a vest for this guy. You're going to reach in the box. Hey, twin hard when you heard him. Go grab your vest on the box. Watch this twin hard one, you heard him. Go grab your best on the box. Watch this. Watch that, watch that over to this. Can I, so I'm gonna, can I swing it, Akra? Which one is the real hard one?

I'm wearing one cameo. It's hell impossible. What's this? It only say, what's this? Who do we choose? What's this? Point to himself, what's this? This is naked, I've covered it. I've turned it. It's new to come and this? Okay, I turn it on the real hard one. I'm gonna get you you fucking

I sniff a bowl Shit, I passed gas if I feel like sulfur they both smell like otherworldly goo. I tune it They both smell like otherworldly goo. I tune it We're here. Bob I can't tell the difference. We're here. Yeah. No, I'm wondering I gotta make your swings. Okay, I'm gonna throw my Javilan at sweet That's a 27 to hit super hits all right, so I'm gonna strike him in the chest I'm gonna struck me. I'm gonna call lightning Oh, this will be good to know if he gonna get hit by lightning oh a little bit sad if he can't so

that's 12 regular damage 9 so it's 21 total so 9 lightning damage yeah okay he is resistant to lightning damage he takes four of that okay he still takes it though. Okay, a little bit. A little bit. Do I have a shock to me a little bit? You want to see something else shocking? It's the best, y'all. It's the best is protecting him from what I do. We have to get rid of the box or the vest. And we can only attack one. I'll go for the vest. I'll also go for the vest. I have two more swings with my hammer, right? Yep. All right, cool. I'll take a boat. 27 and 26. Both hit, both hit. All right, cool.

You run up after striking this dude in the chest, with the javelin, run up and swing twice with the hammer. 42 damage. Jesus. Yeah, I rolled a real nice on the damage, everybody. And I turned to a hard one and I said, do you watch that? Watch this.

Do you watch that? Watch this. Watch that. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch what? Watch this. Just doing wrestling moves by himself. We're doing a who's on first kid.

Yeah. I always Beverly could see this one. At the end. At the end. At the end of your turn. It's so repetitive. Hard one, gonna take another tail attack on Apple Scrumper. Ooh, oh wait, gets advantage.

First one, shout out to the two crew. Second one is a 32. Yeah, no, that doesn't. 14 damage, half to seven. Half to seven. Cause what are you 32? That's your AC 32? Yeah, 32 is my AC.

Right on the top. That's not bad, what kind of armor is my right on the top. It's not bad. We're gonna have a barberry in first. You don't know what I see. Yeah, she has plus 19 to Khan. That is Bounder's turn. Bounder rushes up, hits on the first attack, hits on the second attack. Yeah, hits on the third attack. That's a good old fashioned dad trick. That's what that is. That was a nine damage on the first attack, nine damage on the second attack. Did not roll well.

He did a total of 27 damage. That's no joke. Triple sword score. That's no joke. And you know what? He's going to action search because why not? First attack? Yeah.

Next attack misses. Oops. He makes up for it by missing all three of the next attacks. because why not? Yeah. First attack. Next attack misses. Oops, he makes up for it by missing all three of the next attacks. Get the Babylon's out. So the good ones are tough. Too much, and this is what happens. This is what happens when you show up. This episode in AdPod is brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield, kicking the shit out of your rivals So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother make sure you are wearing bird dogs To get yours and a free Yeti style tumbler go to birddogs.com slash pop-up or Enter promo code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code pop code Papa for a free Yeti style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Now we're going to cut over to Iron Deep.

Yeah, Mavericks. You spotted the assassin before he could get in and stab red. Your concerned look alerts everybody, so you guys got to roll initiative. Red now gets the act before the assassin. Yeah, you see this assassin goes up to stab red and red pulls out his own dagger and goes to swing at him. You also see two more burly dudes that look like they're sort of the bruises that are going to protect the assassin. They have heavier armor and just run out from around corners once the fight is on. So red is going to take an attack.

Red hits, red does a total of 13 damage, then red is going to, actually he gets two attacks. It's gonna take a second attack. That hits, that is another big eight damage on the second attack. My uncle. And he's going to take a bonus action hide. And you see he disappears into like the wreckage

of the dwarf anage, like goes and hides in some of the rubble. That is the assassin's turn. The assassin is going to get in position to work alongside the champions, the bruises or champions who are coming around the corner. So he's going to hold this turn. That is a Gwain's turn, a Gwain's going to turn around and take some shots at this assassin. Get out of here

you freaking creep. Hits on one attack for 25 damage. This dude is already looking very hurt. His move is to go up and stab people not to. It was basically like if you fail that perception check, red is dead. If you pass that perception check, you guys probably kill him. Oh, yeah, um, then that is the champions turns The champions are going to come up and go after you Okay, I have that cloak that gives me they all have disadvantage on their attacks on me. All right So these guys make their attacks 17 to hit with disadvantage

shield Nice, okay These guys make their attacks, 17 to hit with disadvantage, shield. Nice. Okay. Yeah. First one misses on the first attack. Next one is a 19 to hit that misses with shield. This one takes a third attack. That third attack is an 11,

because he had, wait, how often do they get disadvantage? It's just on the first attack, right? So I think they have disadvantage until they hit me. Okay, the first person to hit me and around makes it just, can't set out the disadvantage. Got it. Got it. Okay, so this first dude misses on all three.

Next guy misses on the first attack. Man, with shield, it's gonna be so hard for them to ever hit you. Okay, that is a 24 to hit, that time. Damn. Okay. So this dude is going to hit, slashes into you with a big, great sword. Okay, that is a 24 to hit. That's time. Okay. So this dude is going to hit, slashes into you with a big, great sword.

Oh, fuck. For a good hit. That's a dodging for 18 damage. Okay. And then the assassin is going to go after you, is going to go up and try to stab you with his dagger. That is 20 to hit, that misses. Hell yeah.

The next one is a 22 to hit. That is 20 to hit, that misses. Hell yeah. The next one is a 22 to hit. That is my AC with that. That is your AC, so that is gonna hit. Sneaks up behind you, stabs you with this dagger, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Is it poison? It is poison. I am immune to poison.

Are you guys completely immune to poison or are they being poisoned? Oh. Okay, a creature that partakes to the feast gain several benefits. The creature is cured of all diseases and poison I am immune to poison. Are you guys completely immune to poison or to being poisoned? Oh. Okay. A creature that partakes to the feast gain several benefits. The creature is cured of all diseases and poison becomes immune to poison and gain free. Okay.

Mavericks, you are completely immune to poison. So the only reason you take a decent amount of damages because of sneak attack, you take. Can you say that any time heroes' feast is activated that we have a little burp where we taste it again. Yeah. As you are stabbed, burp and taste a burrito. I can't. Burrito.

And you take 19 damage. As this dude stabs into you, he goes, how do you like that poison? You're probably gonna go down soon, huh? Taste fucking burrito, dude. No. Taste fucking burrito dude Then that is Cobbs turn Cobb does not have his gun Cobbs gun was

So Cobb pulls out a short sword I don't like doing this misses on the first attack. It's an at one second attack is going to hit our friend Cobb, does a big nine damage. Attacking this assassin. The assassin is looking pretty hurt, and it going goes, leave one of them alive. We gotta find out where the fuck they took Bevin' Irland. Maverick said to your turn. Okay, so they're surrounding me. Yes.

These three guys have all gone after you. The assassin's looking pretty hurt. The beefier ones have not been hit yet. I'm gonna grab Cobb and Thunderstep away from these three. Yeah, maybe not Thunderstep. So that's 3D10. Sweet.

What kind of save do they do? I believe it's a constitution save. I'm gonna find it. Okay, one of the champions pass, the other one fails and the assassin fails. You stomp into the ground, explosion of thunder damage as you grab Cobb and you disappear. Come with me. Who the hell are you again?

I keep saying it. You're dating Biberly and you're 25. Oh God. I wish I didn't grab you. This is a question. If they're wearing metal armor, does that matter? It doesn't. It seems like something that maybe should home-brew though. We're really good. Yeah, 20-25. It's cool. So Bev would also take more lighting damage. I don't like it anymore, actually. 25-25. Can we say that even if it doesn't do more damage, they do go, yeah. They go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh It is the frame is like still there so you go up into someone like the wood. You get to get a bunch of bed.

I wish I had an hour to explain myself to all the people I went. And yet you're just going to climb into a child's bed. I'm not a creep! I'm not dating a child! Climb into a child's bed. Oh shit. Mavis, you full on kill the assassin. The assassin explodes in a cascade of lightning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look who's the assassin now. We are going to cut back to Asmodia. We've got Apple at the top of the order. Great, I'm gonna recklessly attack once more. Oh, that attack is disorming. Oh, don't. You asshole. Watch this.

One of them misses, but one of them hits. So that's 21 damage again. 21 damage, dang. Messing him right up. And as a bonus action, can I turn my boots to speed on? I forgot to do it earlier. Yeah. It's not relevant right now. Yeah. But you do the, you be skippy. Yeah. You click your heels together. I do. But like, not, not like in a stupid way.

In a way that's cool. I feel like you just like jump up in the air and go, Yoby! No, I don't do it like that. I do it in like a flamenco dancing. I do it in like a really butch beefy way that everybody respects. Come like slap your butt as you do it. No. I'm confused. No.

All right, after Apple at Initiative 20, that is Acherot's Lair Action. You see hard one clone starts to disappear. What's this? What's this? Brother, what's this? What's this? Brother, what's this? What's this? What's this?

Just turns into goo and disappears. What did you do to him? I turned that part. I'm sad too, but I am me. Does that make sense? Okay. As you guys are all baffled by clearly the real hard one dying out of nowhere, everybody go ahead

and give me a wisdom saving throw. Everybody in this box. With advantage y'all. We all get burps. We all get burrito burps. All right, I did better this time. I got a 21. 21 as well.

Oh, okay. I did it with advantage and I still did pretty bad. So I'm going to use my bardic inspiration. Okay. 26. 26, y'all don't know what happened. Mm-hmm. Okay. Just things are going on, you know? Mm-hmm. 26 26 y'all don't know what happened Okay, just things are going on, you know

All right, I guess we'll keep on flying like you have beef something to me Yeah, I beefed it I beefed it real good Akarot is going to go ahead I'm so I'm grappled next with An attack apple scrimper. it is Akarats turn. It's two fist attacks. He has advantage. Has advantage, so 26 on the first hit. Yeah, it hits.

15 damage. Half to seven. Half to seven. Second attack. That is a crit. That is 30 damage, half to 15. Then going to take a bite attack, 34 to hits, that is 19 damage,

halved to nine. Okay. How are you so cool? She's not even covered in good. I've only got 121 hit points. So... Munchain, that is your turn. Okay, first off, I wanna be like, Acura.

You're all. Fufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufuf Moonshine, that is your turn. Okay, first off, I wanna be like, Acura. Yeah. How would you beat Theala? What was your game plan? I just wanna know, what was your game plan for beating Theala if you were gonna work with us? Well, if you were just on my side. Yeah, I wanna know how you... You know, when Tenets and my army I would have had all of the rogue gods

instead of having you stop three of them. I would have totally won. So, rogue gods instead of having you stop three of them, I would have totally won. So rogue gods was your strategy, you don't know some weakness about her. Not really. All right, cool. I'm gonna cast a heal, which is 70 hit points on Scrumper. So you get 70 hit points, It also ends blindness, deafness, and any diseases affecting the target.

Okay. But I'm guessing that wouldn't bring in a lot of bad things. Okay, arm job off of it. I'm gonna need Apple, hard one, and Boundor are gonna roll pure luck checks. The three. Three, seven.

Okay. Apple Scrumper got the lowest moonshine as you cast heal on Apple. You see your vision swirls and as you cast the heal spell you see that you have healed Akarot. Fuckin' lot of the bugger, you fucking getting me. Oh, it's alright moonshine. I'm still very strong. It's only it's only because Apple got the lowest one So Apple was acarods. That's what the wisdom saving It's truly brutal my god the chance that that happening we're

God one and three all right Well, I also fucking bonus action going to a fucking rage Fucking can because my Contrary to bell you want to reach in the box and then I'm gonna fucking spit Blue ease that you're fucking 18 and then my fucking feral possum is coming after you overall You've helped me this turn so thanks There's a 15 hit Mother fucker, sorry

I should have just fucking attacked you. Why do I even try to cast spells against a fucking trick that I do? You would have attacked Apple Scrumper. You failed the wisdom center. Yeah, exactly. Yes, you have broken the illusion though. Apple had also failed. Apple will not be confused next turn.

So you got it over with. Oh, okay. You got it over with. So it's not, all is not lost. Bound or also would have failed. What if it attacked? somebody else. So it's all good. That is hard one start I Know what hard one's gonna go into a fucking rage hard one you hard one you passed it So you see though everyone else was just like oh yeah, ahead He'll Apple Scrumper and you were just like um mooch on mooch on

Yeah, I didn't say anything till the last possible second and I like should have said something earlier Anyway now on that I get no like game type advantage in the situation, but I'm really really pissed I'm gonna swing my hammer at acroids head three times sweet pissed. I'm gonna swing my hammer at Acroids head three times. Sweet. You know, we hadn't even hit him that much that yeah, I fucking healed you for more than you even lost. It's actually not true of the stats in front of me. Oh, do you? Wow, that's really good. That's really good. Thanks so much. So you're on my side. No, you're so well. If you straight up said to me right now now y'all y'all want to team up and beat the allah I would have a conversation about it, but you took that off the table. I don't want to have a conversation

Yeah, and that's why your head is gonna fucking in the box. No, your head is going in the house Your head's going in the box. Put your ass in the box. Put your ass in the box You're you're fucking your head's going in there the only thing that's going in there is my shit The box is actually really good way to get rid of waste Yeah, wait seriously. I've been shitting in this box. I've been shitting in the box Why would I not shit in the box? It disappears. That's fucking gross. Why you didn't lose a little bit of your butt cheek? He's been clenching his butt the whole time. No Um, he's been clenching his butt the whole time, no.

You did it. You did it. I did it. I didn't scream. I didn't scream my butt. I did it. What did you get, our guns? I take a gander on the side. It's, yeah, he's, he's skimmed it.

It is. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is,, I got a 15, a 19 and a 30. The last two hit. 27 damage. 27 damage. I ain't healing anyone else for the rest of this time. I'm okay. Everyone's getting good berries, because he can't, fuck, get good berries.

Traumatized moonshine into never healing anyone again. Just out with my triad. You've gone this far without getting tricked once. Don't let it ruin it for everyone. Y'all, he ruin is a fucking stadium. And you know what? I will also action surge. Right.

Don't they're inspired me to remember. Or you want to action surge to show if you're headed in the box? Your ass is coming in the box. I crit on the box. Your ass is coming in the box. I crit on the card. Oh, yeah. Oh, that is a 21, a 26 and crit. Great, great swings all around.

All right. Do a lot of follow through and you spin back around Donkey Kong style. Wow. 75 to... Oh! Dude, you just undid the heel. Oh,. Oh yeah. Put your ass in the box. I'm giving back my brother you piece of shit. Yeah give us back hard one. Yeah.

I think that we can get hard to on our side. Okay. I am hard too. At the end of hard one's turn, he's going to take a tail attack against Apple Scrumper. That is a crits. That is a big 48 damage, have to 24. Right. Hell yeah, Scrumper stands. He's got a tail, so we have to like lift the tail when he shits. Yeah. You see some of the tail of skims, too

It's not skumed. It's clipped. It's not That is like the best got dunked in there a little bit Just Short in the back Really short in the back. It's not short in the back. This is the style. It's the cut It's so much that I'm not there to make fun. It's not short in the back. It's the style, it's the cut. It's the cut it. It's so much that I'm not there to make fun of. It's the cut of the first.

That is Balnor's turn. Balnor misses on the first attack. Hits on the second attack. Scrum, you got any self healing. Hits on the third attack. If I go down to zero, I can get, I can put back up to one. Oh, cool.

But it would still need to be healed. Yeah. Total of 20 damage from Balnor. Yeah, buddy. What? The Acarats starting to look a little bit messed up is going to take, at the end of Balnor's turn, another tail attack at Scrumper.

That is a 32 to hit. That is 22 damage, half to 11. OK. Then we are going to cut over to Iron Deep. Red is going to hold his action, wait, and wait for them to attack, one of his allies so he can get sneak attack. Just appears.

All right. Next to you hiding in the doorfinage. Hey, this is my hiding spot, find your own. This morning I set out with some friends, and now I'm somehow fine. What's your name again? Mark, it's Maverick. Mark, you're Beverly's boyfriend. God, I gotta be honest. It's weird. I don't have to deny it. I don't- It just flies away from there. That is a Gwayne's turn. A Gwayne just looks around. It looks like everybody just disappeared. She's just out there by herself.

Where the fuck are you old dudes? And then she's gonna go and shoots into, ooh, she crits, baby. And the first attack. And she hits on the second attack, going after these champions. Yeah, you see that she's got like these poisoned, tipped arrows.

She does on the crit, she does 48 damage and that she does another 20, so she does a total of 68 damage. Hell yeah. So dirty. Great Leander's one of these champions here. Then that is the champion's turns. They are going to go after her. What, you're just gonna fight some kid by yourself? When all the old dudes in her party ran away. Hey, I'm sorry Okay, they both hit with two attacks. They do a total of

65 damage to her instantly slashing to her. She looks quite hurt Immediately you see with that red is going to hop in action, jumps down, tries to stab one of them in the back. Don't worry, you're going on me or I'm brave. Oh, stabs into him, hits, gets that sweet, sweet sneak attack damage. That is a big 24 damage to the more injured one. Takes a second attack, little short sword attack,

shout out to the two crew. Mrs. Big Time, bonus action hides. I'm not that brave though. Goes away. That is Cobb's turn. Cobb is going to, oh boy, what is Cobb gonna do? Cobb, you can hold your turn if you wanna fly down with me.

Yeah, all right. All right, I can get you down there in a sec. Okay, yeah, you sure you're interested in an older guy? Listen. And the tone of the conversations in this place is out of control. Here's the thing you got to know about me, old Cobb likes to keep it light. All right.

And you're funny, man. I don't know. I was just ranting you. I just want you to know. No, old cob likes to keep it light. All right. And you're funny, man. I don't know. Just resin you, I just want you to know. No, I get it. I get it. Anyway, I'm gonna wait. Maverick sets your turn. Okay, I'm going to bonus action, whip out my wings.

Sweet. And just like carry cob down there. You guys both hop down and on the way, I think I'll just firebolt one of those dudes. Sweet. That one. Yikes. Yeah.

Cobb with the fun. That's not going to do it? Yes. Well, that's kind of all I can do. I, I, I, so I blew my turn a little bit. Sweet. Well, when I saw the wings I was like, man, this guy rules. I saw you kill a Jubelix today.

Thank you. I've used a lot of spells and I was trying to figure out a way to save some for later just in case. Right. Um, then Cobb is gonna go with a short sword. This is on the first attack. This is on the second attack. That's a three and a one. Can I make a, can I just yell at those champions? Yeah. Yeah. I'm just gonna try to like persuade them to attack me. Okay. Wow. So you guys persuade them to attack me. Okay. Wow So you guys just wanted to fight a young woman. That's what's going on You're just fighting a young woman who has a bow. I go ahead and make an intimidation check. Okay

20 not net 20 not net you see they look a little bit frazzled and they go what she's out here She's she's attacking people. It's not weird Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're weird. You're the one screw around you're screaming. Yeah, you're screaming As a maverick gets into a loud argument with these two dudes We are actually going to cut over to Beverly. Oh! Beverly. I could tell by your tone, that's where we were going. To Beverly.

To Shay. That's Donkey Kong Island. We're gonna go over to Congo Bongo Island. Oh, God, finally. Oh, they've rebuilt. It's so beautiful. So we're going over to Bev. Bev, you wake up, groggy, mechanically, you are at 1HP, your eyes adjust,

and you sit up on your elbows and see that you are on an altar. You look around. The room is now lit by candlelight, there are runes scrolled along the walls and the floors, banners on the wall with the symbol of the chosen, this golden sword on white flags. This is just like my confirmation. You do not see any soldiers. There are no guards, no nothing. You are awake, and from the looks of it, you are uninjured. However, there is another alter next to you. And on it, Irlin is lying there, and he is not breathing.

I rush over to him. You go over to him. Erlin. I lay my hands on him. I touch hands. You go to do touch hands. Touch hands. He is not responsive. Touch hands.

Touch hands. Touch hands. Touch hands. Touch hands. Touch hands. I try to revive. Bev, you hold your hands over him. You close your eyes. You channel all of the power of Polor, radian energy, gathers in your hands,

and Irland... He wakes up. Oh, thank you. You see, he looks at you, and he's horrified. Like someone who was just woken up from a nightmare. It's okay, it's not okay, dude over. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Toazmodia, apple, that is your turn.

I would have to use my full action to try to get out of this grapple, wouldn't I? You would need to do a strength check to get out, yeah. In which case, I'm just going to keep trying to hit him. Sweet. Not looking great right now. That hard one crit did a ton of damage. This dude is not as sturdy as the Tarask is just trickier. Sick. I'm a tricky guy. Shout out to the two crew

and one of them, but the other I get a 26. Nice, that hits. So that's another 21 damage. 21 damage is dude. And I'm happy to soak up all of these guys attacks because I take cough damage Yeah, you might as well be attacking me as anybody else You know what I said about taking you all to the darkness with me. I might just take Freaking take me think I haven't seen the darkness. You know how dark it is in the countryside Night time is dark. Do you know how much you would just fucking shred the darkness? She would just whip out her fucking mudboard and go dark boarding

You're really gonna talk in yourself into pretending like you won huh Sorry, I just got to move the goalposts closer. I'm sorry. You're button a button fell from your vest What no It's just the cut just it's just the coat everyone. It's a wet cherries in there. It's the coat. It's just the coat. Still thinking about the cut of the vase.

That is Akarach's lair action. Everybody, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving through it. You guys are hit by a wave of anguish. I finally create. 23, that passes. You crit. I finally crit. You pass.

I have a something called indomitable where I get to re-roll a saving throw twice a day. So I'm going to use one of those. Sweet. Cool. And I got a net one. Yikes. Good on me. You and Balnor both take 30 damage, 30 psychic damage. Ah, my head. I got a migraine hard one. Fight through it, man. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. It hurts. One more sin. I think your beer will be fine. It hurts, man. That is Akarats turn.

Akarats is gonna keep a bunching apple scum. Or why won't you die? You're not very strong. Showed off. You're a weak, weak boy. You're a strong, strong girl. That's the only reason. Yes.

26 to hit. 27 damage. Havred to 13 great next fifth attack is a 21 to hit that is 23 damage half to 11 and then takes a bite attack 27 to hit 26 damage halved to 13 Okay, are you still up? Oh, yeah I'm at like 51. Oh my God.

You're unbelievable. Who's that? Why did I even try to even? You're damn. I'm just realizing that Apple Scrupper has a vest as well. But everyone likes her vest. Vests are cool. Just like you've got to be able to wear them.

Do you need a vest and an old store to tuck your whole one in a skirt? And the ball gets her too much. It's really old. Who's wearing the vest? All right. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. And actually if Papa gets him prone, would that break his grapple on Scrumper?

That would, yes. Alright, so Papa's gonna go first. Bam! Come on, young boy. Is it a 22 hit? Yes, please, Papa's doing well. Papa's gonna hit him for 10 nice and then he's got to do a DC 13 strength or be knocked prone thus breaking 27

Weird Possum couldn't knock him over all right and then I'm gonna go out on a limb here and I see his glutes are straining So hard, but you can see the muscle under the skimmed butt cheeks. Let's love the limb. Okay, I can't get, I'm gonna go on a limb here and I'm going to use my great weapon master. Okay. Mine is five.

Mine is five or plus 10. But I'm also in a rage. Yeah. So yeah, so mine is five or plus 10, but I'm okay. Yeah. 25 hits. That hits. That hits. All right.

Wow, moonshine with a mighty swing. 32 and then I spores him for 18. So 50 damage. It looks very hurt. Yeah, and then with my bonus action, I cast Healing Spirit. Okay. Right where him and Scrumper are?

Because until the spell ends, whenever you or a creature you can see moves into the spirit space for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, you can cause the spirit to restore one D6 hit points to that creature, but it can't heal constructs or unbed. So basically Scrumper goes down, she'll go up on her turn. Oh, right off very smart.

It's just our first time we've had Spectral Pop on a long time. Yeah, Mother, I am here. I am back just when you need me. At the end of the world, it is I, your spectral baby boy. You are looking milky as ever. Come, sister Apple, drink of my milk. Oh, I love Possomilk. It's one of my favorite milks.

I only got a milk. Have you had pasta milk ice cream? Oh no, what? You've got some water. Now I'm going to. Oh, make me think that. Akron's going to take a legendary action. Tail swipe at apple, 32 to hits.

That is a big 22 damage, half to 11. Oh, okay. You know what? I actually did 52 damage, so I didn't add my rage damage. You nick the vest a little bit. No. I get another button off of it. No, oh, yeah, she's toyin' with you. She's toyin' with you. It just feels like it's redundin'. There's like a zipper but also buttons too much. I can't just not make sure like a really fancy vest from like the Broadway production of Aladdin.

Or you can get this because I like Aladdin. Oh, you didn't. I just did it. Yeah, right. You were there opening night. That is hard one, Stern. I'll tell you what, man. The vest is really fucking cool. But you can't pull it off, and I know you have two more.

But we're gonna get the vest. We're gonna need that one too. Um, let's see. That's a 18-hit. But we're gonna get the best. We're gonna need that one too. Let's see, that's a 18 to hit. Yep. 21 to hit. Hits and a net one. Yikes. That one doesn't do it, believe it or not.

You two it a little bit. Fair. Forward is your forwarded. Yeah, I did. I actually started, but. And I'm not doing it in the box because look what's happened to your ass. Can I can I report for his scrumper and hard one and be like I think we need to try to bait him in telling us like where some of these Five Lactories are. I'm not 42 damage. Looking extremely hurts. Yeah. Yeah. You can't kill me. You can destroy this body, but I live on I live on forever hard one short foot

Yeah, I mean you live on and what the you know you live on and Yeah, like where do you even go? Your favorite bylactory I'm saying if you were me. I have several favorite fly lactaries And I'll tell you mine a bite guys are really bad at thinking people out. I saw you with my monster faces You see I saw you He's all of us. I went get him hard on ball Stick your balls in the box Your balls in the balls

You're both involved. Only after you. I don't want to stride over first and foremost. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor sees that he's hurt, the starts threateningly scraping his sword against the ground to sharpen it. And he's going to swing. I wish we had a way to extract his memories from him. Extract the falactory.

Maybe let's save his brain. Let's save his brain at the end. First attack is a Boundor crit. Yes, a 19. It's crit brought to you by Bud Heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Boundor does a big 15 damage.

You see Boundor kind of sharpening his sword on the stones of the tower and walks over and goes, I know you would have preferred it. If my son was here as a little creep, he'd always been obsessed with him. Put your head in the box. The back of his head. I'm with Boundour. But the head is... He's actually no, no, no.

Boundour's man handling him, super red faced. He's really hard to rest. Bounder's got to rest. Go for the ass, because I want to save the brain. Go, put me in ass first. Don't do that. I want to be asked for a sphallnor. Bounder's, your ass is going in the box.

Save the best, Bounder. You see, Bounder in one motion, rips the best off, puts it on himself. It's, Bounder, it looks great on you. Perfectly cut for Boundor in one motion, rips the vest off, puts it on himself. It's- Boundor, it looks great on you. Perfectly cut for Boundor. Shove's Ackara's ass into the box. No, no, more ass.

And you see the like, necrotic energy from the box travels up his ass, moves down his legs, they are destroyed and like turned a bits of stone and crumble away. I can't wait to find all your fucking factories and make them an offer to help us fight the Aula. And then I carve out his brain like it's like the yolk from a soft boiled egg. And I save it because I'm gonna fucking scry on it and do some fucking witchcraft.

Absolutely disgusting. She's a neurosurgeon. You guys have defeated the last rogue god. You split Akarat's skull after the bottom half of him is destroyed by going in the box, which contains an item called the sphere of annihilation. Oh! And then, and not anal lozzy. This is fear of anal annihilation. Bravo. Oh, God. Bravo, a rose.

Ah. And you take the brain of this creature. Yeah. It is this, it is this sickly. I want to put it in like, I want to put it in one of those like gallon, a z-block bag. You put in the devil wear with some Euros fees. No, it ain't touching that Euros fee.

And then I also, I got a cast regenerate on a strumper. Sweet, so you rush over to strumper. Scrumper looks very hurt. Arm has been chopped off. You being in casting with your right. I think, as I do it, I say, now that you needed it and I give her a win.

Oh yeah, I'm fine. I've got 40 hit points left. So I might be not a big deal. I could have probably fought him again. So. Yeah. Then we are going to cut back to Iron Deep. At the top of the order, that is Red's turn.

Red's got allies around these guys now. So get sneak attack. Ooh, misses on the first attack. Hits on the second attack. That is a big 25 from red. One of these dudes looks quite hurt. He's still standing. He's still standing, yeah, these guys are pretty tough.

That is a Gwayne's turn. Gwayne takes a shot at that same dude. Hits on the first attack. Hits on the second attack. You see she puts two arrows straight in his head. One in one eye, one in the other. Dude goes down. Sick.

That is that champions turn. You see that dude looks around, looks super scared. He's going to take a disengage and he starts running off into the city. And you see he rips his white mask off and he starts yelling, Help, help, I'm being attacked! Oh, fuck that guy. That is Cobb's turn. Cobb is going to run forward

and Cobb is going to do an opposed athletics check against this dude. Jake, why don't you roll for whole Cobb? He's only gonna get flat whatever you get. It's an honor. Not 20. Whoa! Oh yeah!

I only rolled 20s for Cobb, man! Dude, 20s for our Cobb. That dude rules. Oh yeah! You see, you see this spry old man, as this dude's running away, trying to yell to, there are dwarfs fighting throughout the city, none in this immediate area.

He's trying to trick them and get help, because he's an Iron Deep dude who's basically a spy and agent for the Aala or Akarad, you don't really know. Trying to trick the other Iron Deep guards, but before he can get far at all, the spry old man runs forward, just form tackles him, and then just like mounts him and starts punching him in the face. Where the fuck did you putt, Maverickly? Where the hell's Maverickly? Maverick runs up and punches the guy in the face. Go ahead and give me an intimidation

check, and you have advantage because Bob is helping you. That is only a 17. 17. That is enough for a dude who is completely outnumbered. You see, yeah, Cobb has amounted. You're also like on the side of him. You guys are both just beating the shit out of this dude while he's down. He's dead me, dude. A Gwayne holds an arrow up to him kind of hovers up to him and he goes okay okay I'll tell you just you just gotta let me live okay sure Go ahead and give you a deception check Seven

Yeah, oh fuck you're gonna kill me okay fine. I won't kill you. You're not alright. You promise How do I know? How do I fucking know? See God just keeps watching him in the face. Oh, oh, okay, okay, all right We could make it so bad. Okay, all right. I don't know. I don't know what they're doing But the chosen they've got like a base at this place called Smuggler's Bounty and they wanted to take them there because it's like really hard to find. I feel like I've heard of it place.

Yeah, it's like a really cool party spot. Maybe me and you can go someday, anyway, I'm out. That's your move, you want to go party? Yeah, me and you, right? God, it's so sad. You see a grain just puts an arrow right in the middle of the sand as he dies. Oh, man. Don't feel great about it, but it had to go down that way.

Then we are going to cut back over to Erlin and Bev. Bev, you revivified Erlin. Erlin came back and he is not happy to be back. You see he is freaking out. He looks pale and he just goes in the corner of the room and hugs his knees and he just starts cradling himself and rocking back and forth. Hey, you look like maybe you've lost some blood or something here. Eat this and I hand him a where there's original this should pep you up a little bit you what's going on you see he um just pushes your hand down Erlin and he looks at you when he goes she used us Beth what do you mean we blacked out but nothing's happened yet.

They haven't, it looks like they're going to try some sort of ritual, but I guess maybe they're preparing it now. What do you mean? Apparently you all of a sudden feel a staggering loss. It feels like the feeling you get or what people describe when you wake up in the morning and you feel like something terrible is going to happen, you get a terrible phone call or something, just that feeling of, I don't know what, but something awful has just happened. That pit in your stomach.

What do you know? What? What did she do? She killed him, Beth. Who? She killed Polar. And that's where we'll end up. Oh, I'm going to go. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. You're dead, Murph. What the fuck? You're all going to fucking kill me after this. You're dead.

There's so many of us, man. You're done. What were you doing? You're a bastard. You're a bastard. You're a bastard. You're a bastard. You're a bastard. You're dead. There's so many of us, man. You're done. What were you doing? You're a boss. You're a boss. You're a boss. You're a boss. You're gonna box your ass. We're gonna mail it to Spain. I can't believe you after like just solid 50 or 60 episodes of him being a villain. The last time we will like Lee C. A. Carr his campaign. Was him getting his ass shot. Hi, pal. Hi, pal.

Hi, pal. God bless. The way it had to go. It's so weird. It's like when you're sick and you're looking on Instagram and everyone's having a great time. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Oh, boy. Okay, guys. Thank you guys so much for listening. You can listen to people threaten to put my ass in a box over on our after show, the short rest, patreon.com slash nadbod that's in the wall. Daddy, sure, I'm only going to celebrate your ass. Thank you.

I'm the short rest. We're going to put in a gift wrapped box. That's patreon.com slash nadpod don't sing yet. Shavan, you got anything to plug? Follow all of the former college humor writers. Yeah. I have the movie you're in the ability to do that. Yes.

Yeah, they're all, you know, they're all really talented people. Yeah, everybody except Gronto Brian. He's a shit. He serves everything. You can follow and unfollow him a bunch. So we get the notification. Yes, that would be really. I'll watch out for that.

That seems very fun. Grant Quiley has listened to every episode of this podcast. I never mentioned it. It's super hurt. Same for me, I would say. Yeah, sweet. Yeah, follow the College Schumer writers. I don't have all of their ads right in front of me, but maybe we'll throw it in the description.

Oh, let's do that. Yeah, they're all brilliance and if you need comedy writers or if you're just looking for people who are going to for sure be making great content in the future, check them out. I'll just like really handsome people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just like hot. Yeah. Hot people. If you need hot people. You know what? They're starting a brand new stage of their career and why not have it be modeling? Yeah, true.

That's what happens. Sweet guys, follow us on Twitter at CHMIRF's me, AdCaldys called well. At Vornetom is Shivan, at E-AXSRD is Emily, at Zachoyama, Zachoyama, and at J. Kerwitz is Jake. You can tweet about the show using hashtag Nadpod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. We don't deserve y'all, but we try best we can. Starting with Brad D. Dillon B, Danny P and Steel Breaker, the demonic tailors who created Akarat's stunning vest.

They also made him a jacket and pants to go with it, but Akarat wisely threw them and all the tailors into the sphere of annihilation. Beardman Dan, Adam R, Danielle, the dastardly Dame, and Alucard, an elite squad of lawyers, hired by Pau Pau to prosecute the olive for kidnapping Bev and Irland. It's a pretty solid case. God or not, abducting teens is super illegal. Howdor Frostback, Jordan DJ, Jeffreas, Cutter W, and Andrew M, a group of Glade Home University students who were up all night partying and fully slept through the castle being teleported to Osmovia.

Now orcs are firing ballistas at them and to make matters worse, the campus cafeteria is closed. Bomber! Shougard, the mushroom, Elena C, Mixologist Michael McD, Balnor's boy, and Maddie Biggretts, a fellowship of Bohumian adventures currently on a quest to destroy Akarats' Vylactory because no one had the heart to tell him that he actually has multiple. They even got matching capes and everything. It's real sad. Justin I, Jacob C, Elena M, Jostrich and Dana G, Pendergreens on Tarrage.

They spend most of their day cooking him George Foreman, Penini's and lying about how good his crocs and black armor look together. Hell yeah. Damn you are, Desta and C, Jive G, Earl and Kathleen L, and Crow of Omen. A goblin circus that travels the globe, entertaining people with acrobatic stunts and amazing pyrotechnics. Just so you know, if you sit in the first three rows, you might explode.

Best bring a poncho to be safe! Sergio Salazar Solomon Sakuraiya Stasekwani, Michael L, Traleigh the Krayfei, Jorias and Michael K.M, Kranon Durland's Book Club. This month, the reading in a lager and scroll that explains how to infuse weapons with a poison deadly to both demons and celestials next month, they're doing life of pie. Double-Ew! Adam H. Bryan, Aaron G. and Jake L. A cube, cylinder, cone, and tetrahedron of annihilation respectively, who are super pissed about how much the attention the sphere of annihilation

is getting. Big Buck, Richard X Machina, Sam L, and Troy McSee, the vest seems stress who watched with baited breath the entire acrobat fight so worried he would split a seam. They are desperately indebted to the band of boobs for saving their life's work and will probably gift them all vests next episode. Fun! Dom R. Josh S. Nicholas C. Austin C. and Kristen P. A troop of yellow teens, an offshoot of the green teens, which the coward Denny

started after he was barred from the green teens for being to Craven. Mike H, Matthew E, Samuel B, O'Cotta, and Mr. Hydrous, a family of puddle elves, known for their distinctive rubber boots and earthworm familiars, they're just as routious Crick Elves, but their home is even more endangered because they mostly have to wait in parking lots for it terrain. Aaron C. T.J. M. the gnome barbarian. Trust the traveler, Robert F. and Paul and Megan the twins. A group of elephants from the Elvenage. Sure, it doesn't have the same ring as doorfinage, but they need your love and smourch just as much. Anime intellect, Zolo Dolo, Nick B, Ambral T, and JJ, the Pebblepot financial advisors

who keep encouraging the family to invest more aggressively, but those cowards won't even buy bonds. Colton B, J, C, C, Lulu, Aiden R, H, and Blitzbrigg Dmitry, a flock of gargoyles that was flying by saw Acherot fighting, then thought, huh, vests do look flock of gargoyles that was flying by saw Acarot fighting, then thought, huh, vests do look good on gargoyles. Anyways, now they're all flying around wearing vests, which is now a normal thing to assume of a gargoyle, moonshine. I'm hopeless.

TimmyR, AlexM and Erin Sully for Chosen Nights who were still in the cave with Beverly and Irland quietly eating from the buffet. They were going to try to finish them off, but their stomachs were full and they really didn't want to cramp up. Lucas B. Jordan L. Taleth X. Mateo C. and Pupthoth. A who's who of heroes who have had their asses shaved off by the sphere of annihilation. Careful when pooping into the abyss, everyone. Austin MR. of annihilation. Careful when pooping into the abyss, everyone! Austin, MR, Kaylee Elise, Barnes & Adder,

Mick Pux and Christian A, creators and distributors of the Toilet of Annihilation, which promises a waste-free rest room and low-cost plumbing. Wow! Unfortunately, they are being sued by the aforementioned people who lost their asses in it. Okay. Devin W. Shenoo Abbey, Jared E.

Persephone, and Eric McD. Akraht buddies who all bought matching vests with him when they were drunk, but then Akraht was the only one who wore it in public after the severe rousing he received, it's unlikely those vests will be coming out of the drunk. Reese and S. Eric and Andrea B, Charo are Codias and Jay Parker, a small crew of chosen nights who were super offended

by The Allis' speech and decided to defect and follow Palore needless to say they're having a real bad day. Steven C, Maxwell C, Mike K, Omri M and Calum L, the bartenders at Palore's Margarita Barrett, his carnival crews in the sky, in memory of their fallen leader, their running and all day happy hour. Scott D, North R the prodigy ranger, Mekongi, Dan, and the red rain,

a cabal of wizards who stride on Acarot's mural faces, and obtained footage of hard ones nuts. They're currently blackmailing him and threatening to send them to his mom in Shadow fell. Richard C. Carenty. Curtis S. and Michael C. Mavis's ultimate Frisbee rivals who are fucking nervous about his new wings. Honestly, it's not fair if he's allowed to use them. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Barrison Ken of the Wizards Tower and Nicholas P. Mama's grandchildren. Mama had some wild younger years and interestingly, they are of no blood relation to Papa though they still call him Uncle P.P. Marybell the Kitty Mothing gnome, bloody Mary elementals, kind of like water elementals, but you know, bloody Mary's. They have celery crowns and fight with toothpicks. You want them on your side when you're battling a hangover. Yens Christian tea, Joe McGee, Meta Amps,

Atticus Sea and Tom S, Crick Magicians, they wow crowds by making people's personal belongings disappear. In other realms, these enchanters are called Pitty thieves. Luke H. Kelvin Nudel's Grace G. P. Diddy 985 and Lance, the Jubilex's children. These folks basically look like they're adorable little jello molds with smiley faces, and now they don't have a mother. Brutal. Esme M. Gary J. Kazimir, the all-knowing Spencer cask brew and Zach C. Frostwindorves, who went to sit by a tree after their battle and instantly got transported to Gladehome. They're not complaining though, the water park has a hot tub. And finally, Eric G. BJL, Michelle O. and Gage M, the oldest green teens. These fine halflings are 40 years young,

but they can't graduate until they've gotten all their patches. Gonna be hard now that the world is ending. And that's it for this week. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode. In the meantime, you can head on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash nad pod. To listen to our short rest, we'll catch you guys next time.

We love y'all, bye, sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast.