Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 91: Secrets, Secrets (The Chosen Saga)

Episode Date: February 21, 2020

The Band of Boobs discover a mystery on the road to Thiala! Hardwon continues his search for the missing Kingshammer, Beverly encounters a bad omen, and Moonshine ties up a loose end. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."The Purge" by Emily Axford."Bastard's Fate" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Deal with a Devil" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell Sneak" by Emily Axford."I Just Want to Know You're Taken Care Of" by Emily Axford."The Pact" by Emily Axford."Forest" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Dirty, gone, nerdy. Oh. Library rat. And of course, called Altanner. Beverly Toggle, the fifth eight hour sleeper whose voice is way deeper. Nine. Way deeper.

It's way deeper now. Deeper is it. Yeah, so much. Bebs a little bit of a late bloomer. I feel like the squeaky voice time isn't like going on 17. He's nearly a man. Bebs is a halfling though. Halfling.

Halfling. Halfling pubes and voices. That makes sense. I'm a halfling, but also it fits with my whole theme. I'm covered in wildflowers now. True. Yeah, I'm only going to live it in a cool way. I'm a half-ling but also it fits with my whole theme. I'm covered in wild flowers now. True. Yeah I'll let it rip it in a cool way. I'm owning it. Yeah Covered in flowers and zits. Oh, yeah, the acne is just bloom. Oh

That was the kind of sentence that you feel so that was what was clogging your pores. Yeah. Yeah, it's all gone now Look at that. Just yeah, just visible whiteheads that you want him to pop so bad, but he doesn't. And their flowers now. Oh, I hate it. Put him in a vase. My mouth says you're not supposed to pop him. He just let him grow, then you put him in a vase and you give him to your mom and you're done with acne forever.

Can't wait for this greasy, oily ass fan art. Yeah. Okay, guys, let's do. Please don't want drop looming, sis. I really think I'll puke. Dressy oil-y ass fan art. Yeah. Okay guys, let's do- Please don't want to draw plume, Zit. I really think I'll puke. That's my campaign to character name. Plume is it.

Alright guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, Bev and Lazlo, the dragon turtle, arrived on the shores of Galatoron where Bev was attacked by the wraith on the white horse. Bev survived the encounter, then was picked up by Mhine hard one in Lucanus, who hurried him back to Gladehome. There you spoke with the city leaders who concocted a plan on how to rebuild the city, and tasked you with facing the Oloinche came back.

You got your crew of friends together and reincarnated Gunther, turning him into a very hairy human man. That night hard one had a dream about King Grimthor McGannis, seeing him swallowed by darkness. Hey. Good in moonshine. Nice. Nice.

Talk about a big stain. Saw him swallowed by darkness as the city of Iron Deep collapsed. From there, you all went off on personal business. Beverly showed Erdan, a plagued sword left behind by the white rake, nearly killing Erdan, but Bev managed to save his life and then Erdan banished the sword to another plane.

Moonshine hit the books in an attempt to learn about the Allah and to learn a counter spell. Hard one began excavating the ruins of Iron Deep with Jaina and Beverly performed a ritual with the Druid Circle to take a new oath and become a Green Knight once again. He also got a new Dragon Turtle companion, Jaja. And that's where we are now. So we have been breezing through this first couple weeks in Glade Home here, but we have not spent much time with Hard one, so we were going to start this week with the bastard of the mountain.

Okay. So hard one, you have been at it for a few days. This whole first week, you are excavating with the dwarves. So you and a bunch of dwarves are excavating the ruins of Iron Deep. You see the city of Glade Home has positioned itself in the air over the ruins, so less rain is falling here. You've basically got like a canopy of city above you. That's nice.

Would you say I have a glisten, like a sweat glisten? Yes, you've been working really hard. You are sun kissed. Although I, the, actually go ahead and roll me just a pure luck check because it is definitely pretty foggy. Right. But you still get some UV. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, it's only a four. Don't rub it in. A four? Yeah. Can I, can I petally control the weather? Yeah. So that, hard one gets less of a sudden. I'm going to say your, a sudden dance. You are feeling very self conscious about how pale you're looking.

And moonshine is jealous of how tan you're looking. That's what you're at right now. All right, that makes sense. Working out. The grass is always greener. Working outside is always greener. The skin is always paler. Yeah, working outside all day, you should be tanner than you are, but you're still

more so than moonshine who's in the library. So yes, a bowel nor, by the way, has just been working out and practicing fighting and stuff. So he's getting pumped up. Love that for him. Yeah. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! You're fired. Meanwhile, Hardwan is excavating his hometown, which was destroyed. So you guys see, the city is destroyed, but the mountain has not entirely collapsed. Once you spend a few days clearing the rubble and get past the old entryway, you see that while the floor of the first ring has mostly collapsed in and destroyed the ring and the buildings the next level below, the ceiling above you has mostly held.

So as you enter everything on the ceiling and some of the walls still look like the iron deep that you know Like you see these geodes that were up there that were magically infused that lit the city They're still up there and they're still functioning, but you look down and The first two descending levels of the city are just completely gone. They've collapsed So there's just this kind of hole in the middle. There are no sides of light below,

but you'll see the occasional building still standing. Some of the middle rings, like three or four stories down, are in a little bit better shape. It looks like maybe the rubble may have like bounced off, like the second or third stories and fallen into the center, instead of everything just collapsing in on itself. So you and Jaina and some other dwarves set up ropes and pulleys. Within a few days you have functional elevators to get deep down where the bodies would have fallen.

There are geomancers shaping the rocks to make it easier to navigate. Workers repairing existing infrastructure to help and wizards casting locate object spells to try to find the King's Hammer. But even as you guys are able to clear a bunch of the rubble and get deeper into the center of the city and get down towards where the mines are and the lower levels, you still cannot find McGannis, even with the help of magic. You see the dwarves are getting frustrated and Jaina is looking around.

You guys are both like, you guys are basically like belaying next to each other. And Jaina goes, I thought you said you saw him fall down here. I saw him fall down here. This is where it started and he fell all the way down. Like he was swallowed by darkness. I just think he's deeper. He's deeper than we're able to go right now. I don't know how much longer this is going to take. We only have 30 or so more days. In my days at the Dwarffin, I actually dug down into deep into the air.

You dug deeper into iron deep than any man or dwarf before you. Yes, I've heard it a few times. No, I had followed, obviously. You know what, and I heard through the rumor mill that you guys were at the base of a tunnel and that because you had longer arms, Adorf had you reach in to grab some iron ore. Who said that? It was Nerman and he's pretty honest. Yeah, Nerman's a solid.

Yeah, pretty solid, honestly. Okay, so just between you and I, me and Nerman, don't talk deeper than any man or dwarf before us, and I got a little deeper than Nerman. Okay. Well, we could use your skills here, hard to, but I can use Nerman's if he's around Yeah, you see um higher up on the police. What do you say to me?

Hard one just say it how solid you are brother Hey, you're pretty solid yourself my man. I'm man drops a rock by accident. Oh, sorry about that. It's you in the head Oh Drops a rock by accident. Oh, sorry about that. It's you in the head. Oh Hard one as you are down here as you are going deeper and deeper into the mines and as the geomancers and Stuff are searching through the wreckage. You're seeing a lot of dwarven bodies and stuff and a lot of debris from the rings up top That have collapsed, but go ahead and give me an insight check 18 18 Hard one as you guys are laying down that have collapsed, but go ahead and give me an insight check. 18. 18. Hard one, as you guys are belaying down, you look deep below you, and you see debris

from the collapsing rings and stuff, and you guys have pulled out a lot of bodies and stuff. It still seems like not enough. Like, you guys are having to go down very deep. There is this hole in the middle of the city, It still seems like not enough. Like you guys are having to go down very deep. There is this hole in the middle of the city. But if the top of the city collapsed in on itself, the whole should have refilled. You guys have been pulling up bodies, but you've pulled up like a hundred or two hundred

and you saw in your vision and you can just buy the massive numbers of people that you know were lost, of dwarves that you know were lost. You haven't found that amount of bodies, and it's weird. You guys are way deeper than you should be. Maybe the mountain didn't swallow them. Uh, Jaina looks up at you. What are you talking about? We should have found everybody by now. You see, she thinks about it for a second. She looks up at like the upper rings that have collapsed.

She looks down below you, and she goes, this should be much more shallow. Do you think this is some divine act of retribution or something? Did those dwarves go to theyala in their last moments or something? No dwarves would do that. We're too proud Most dorses wouldn't do it, but as we know there were some people working for the chosen So what are you saying? Are you saying that these these dorses are? I mean you see she shakes her head. No, McGannis King McGannis Wouldn't do that Not the man I know.

He wouldn't have bent the knee. You couldn't have bent the knee. All right, you know what, that's enough for today. Why don't we go up, maybe we can talk to some of the other people and see what they think, but I think you're right. This is, this is strange. Can I toss one more rock down there? You toss one more rock down there? You toss one more rock down there.

All right. Yeah, it's really deep. Well, you're not even gonna make a roll. So you guys start climbing back up the police. But as you get about halfway up, you see that there is a tunnel that has not collapsed. It looks a little bit more well maintained. And Janice sees it and she goes, oh no way. You see, she swings herself into it, unclips herself, and starts running down the tunnel.

Hey, wait, I need to get a little momentum. I start pumping my legs back. Go ahead and make an athletics check. 21. Hard one, you are able to swing into the tunnel. Go ahead and make a history check with advantage as you look in here, and I'll say add your proficiency because it's sort of knowledge about Iron Deep.

Okay, so that's 18. If I add my bonus. 18. You have walked down this tunnel before. Do you know this opens up and takes you to like a fighting pit like a colosseum? Okay, I jet after after Jaina. You run after Jaina? Which you know this also? As you would definitely know this. You guys run down this tunnel. You follow it and it opens up into a large cavern that has surprisingly not collapsed and you see that it is this natural colosseum. It's not huge. It's more of a fighting pit but it's got stone seating that wraps around the small arena and a dirt pit in the middle. Several

of the bleachers have collapsed and some stalactites have fallen from the ceiling into the pit below, but for the most part, it's in decent shape. You see Jaina looks super excited and runs down into the middle of it. And she goes, this is where I won my first tournament. I was there, it was awesome, Jaina.

You were there, Did you sneak in? Yeah, well, yeah, I came in with Jema, but I've, you know, 10 people behind her. We weren't allowed to make eye contact. The usual kind of thing. Yeah, I think my dad caught you guys down here one time under these bleachers. I see she runs over to like one of the bleachers.

Oh, yeah, I look at a stone under these bleachers. I see she runs over to like one of the bleachers. Oh yeah, I look at a stone under the bleacher where I carved H&G. Yeah, you did it with like a little pick. You see, it is done with a lot of care. You see other people have carved their names, like other dwarves in love and stuff, have put like little hearts and put their initials or put their names

But you take a lot of pride in it because you don't know how to spell so you really nail the H and the G I learned two letters that day And you see Jane is kind of just Looking around and she sighs and she goes Wow better days. It were. And maybe they helped provide someone with an RIDA when this town collapsed.

Do you think anyone could have survived down here? She looks around and she kind of laughs and she goes, well, they're not here now, but maybe it helped some people for a little bit. Can I call out and see if anybody found Sheldon here? Yeah, you yell out through the cave. There's a loud echo. It's pretty clear, it's a small enough room

that it is a little unlikely that this place survived. It was kind of just like pure luck. There's people probably wouldn't run into tunnels and go deeper if they knew the mountain was collapsing. This would actually probably be one of the first places. If there was like an event here, they would have evacuated quickly.

So there's nobody here. There goes that there. There it is. But Jane goes, I was the only undefeated wrestler in the Iron Deep Colosseum Poseidzelefgare. And we never got to fight. Could you imagine how much we would have packed this place

if we could have had that showdown? Could you imagine? Probably would have gone something like this. I'd go ahead and make an athletics check, he gets Jaina. Oh, oh shit, that's a crit. Nice one. Yo, she crit, she got a net 20.

Wow. You go to tackle her and she gets low and she grabs you and she goes like, oh, you shouldn't have done this. Okay, I was just kidding. I was kidding, I was kidding. Go ahead and roll initiative. So I asked. That's another net 20.

Nice, so you are going to get to it first. So hard one. The way this is going to work, I made wrestling mechanics. Oh, the way to do it. You know what I are going to get to a first so hard one the way this is going to work I made wrestling mechanics Essentially you need to essentially win three athletics contests in a row to win the first athletics check Is to like get advantage on them to like grab their leg or something the next one is to like take them down and the last one You get advantage on because you're pinning them. You're already on top of them. So let's go ahead and make our first athletics contest

as you go in on her. And she laughs and she's like, I've never lost before and I'm not doing it today. I've never wrestled in the Coliseum before. Let's see if I can go 1-0. 22. She also got a 22. What?

Oh, I was. She guys tie, go ahead and do it again. Not 20. That's, she got a cheat. She legit got it that one. So I'll say that essentially counts as like two wins. So you successfully,

you guys make those funny quips back and forth. You drop super low and do an ankle pick. Walsh is joking around with you and kind of catch her off guard. You throw her on the ground, go ahead and make an athletics check with advantage. Ooh, thank God I had advantage. That's a 28. She also got a 20 year old leg. Oh my God, do it one more time, man.

You start to, you now get into like side control and you're trying to push her shoulder down and she is starting to creep back up and getting around to like take you back. 14. She got a 16, so she escapes and gets around back on you. So she has one one against you and she is starting to try to take you down. Do another athletics check. Shit, 16.

She got a 17. So she now, she is essentially, you went from almost pinning her to her going around Again in your back she gets behind you and grabs your waist and suplexes you back and now she's trying to In you she's gonna roll with advantage you roll regular She got a 21 shut out to the two She suplexes you back, your shoulders are pinned to the ground for a second.

You see she rolls off. As I'm upside down, I'd like to just look over at the upside down H and G in the underneath of the chairs. I'm swelling with tears. I'm swelling with tears. But hard one, you have wrestled the champion of the Iron Deep Coliseum and you nearly pinned her.

Damn, Jane, it was the honor of my life to lose to you in the Coliseum. You see, Jane rolls over and she isn't even getting up and bragging. She's just huffing and puffing, laying on the ground and she goes, you gotta give me some warning. Next time you do that, we gotta take our armor off and stuff that was super exhausting. Oh my God.

You know, we got a lot of time between now and when Theala comes. And this might be the best way I can help you. You think you can teach me to wrestle? I think I can make you a lot stronger. Hey, if you can teach me how to do that move where you almost broke my neck a second ago, I'm really fucking appreciated.

I'd like to do that with the all of myself. You see, she walks over, she puts her hand on your shoulder, and then she gets a low attack, I'll see you. And then we are going to fast forward. So hard one, you spend the next few days, you are excavating with Jaina and the dwarves during the day, trying to find stuff. You are training with Jaina at night.

She is, she's showing you wrestling moves and stuff, but overall she's just teaching you how to be a stronger fighter. And then let's cut over to moonshine. Moonshine, you have spent enough time, you have learned the counter spell, you successfully, you are working with Lucanus, who are super tired. And Lucanus is sobbing.

All right, I'm going to cast a can trip, try to counter spell it my dear Arcane magic she's doing it. She's really doing it. Okay, ready? I'm gonna fireball to you. Okay. This is your first counter spell Okay Alright Erdan write this down. I'm truly so tired. Erdan record this Excelsior, cast firebolt. Counter-spill. Oh, you see it disappears in the sand.

My daughter, she's a wizard. You're a wizard moonshine. Ah, and he feels you. You read a book and you learned from it. You've done it. You've done it, my daughter. Cool. I think I'm gonna leave the library.

He's like, in the middle of the con, it's like having this breakdown, which I just walk out. I don't think I need to be here anymore. Bye, I tip the library. Not necessarily. Not necessarily, but thank you. Uh, platinum. They look insanely excited.

They'd buy their own library. He's a clarify that Emily is wearing a blanket and like a comfy sweater right now. It absolutely looks like she's been studying in the library. It's committing so hard in one place. Sweet. So, Moonshine, what else would you like to do with your time before the

Allah? I guess I will deal with what I have to deal with. Okay, um, Papa, here. I need you to draw up some legal documents for me. Right here? Yeah. Right here. I need you to... I don't know what's left of my stump, but I need to... I like to transfer it to your name. You see, Papa looks at you confused.

Right here. And I've also got quite a lot of coin and I'm gonna put it into a little count and I need you to make sure that coin finds its way to, you know, young ins and dwarf ins and so they can have a lot of the opportunities that hard one and I didn't get to have. Okay.

He shakes his head. Meir. Meir. He points to you and him. Meir. Yes. Um. Paw Paw.

You are. You are my best friend and you are the best part of me. And I am so grateful for the fact that so much of our lives have been braided together. But where I'm going next, after we beat the all of which we will, you can't come. Okay. So I just need to make sure that you are taken care of, and I need to make sure that you take care of some people, okay? You see, Pa Pa shakes his head and scrambles away.

All right, that's his right. head and scrambles away. That's his right. And I guess now is a good time to miss any. So I guess I'll just plane shift in the hill. I can't believe you've done this. So Moonshine, you arrive in the nine hills, a top this blast blasted plain. Black and rock and ash beneath your feet, exploding geysers of lava in the distance, black clouds and red sky and fire everywhere.

You have arrived near Rust's old compound. You see some old broken down war machines and such, the twisted iron fence that once protected it. But you also see that it is being renovated. There are imps and strange devilish necromancers using magic to build a giant keep. It is mostly completed, built of black stone, with piers of fire lit in the finished towers. And you see pender grains with the hellfire crown, barking orders at his minions. Build it higher. I need to be able to see every demolition

going to be across the one hell. And he's like barking at them and everything and then he turns to the excuse and goes, oh hey, we're trying. I hate pender grains. Who's it going? It's good. Let me see it. Oh, who's we going? It's good.

Let me see, hey, why don't you come on in? Oh, yeah, show me around, show me what you're doing in the place. He brings you into his new throne room. It's all built of black stone. The only other color is the red orange of the fire. You see that rather than having brazers or torches like the room, both sides of his great haul are just lined with hot coals

on which stand walls of fire He gestures to another chair near his throne and he plops down And you see he's got yeah the hellfire crown on you see that it's like melting his Helm away that is like part of his head. And you see he puts his hand on sort of the bridge of his nose or where his nose would be. He doesn't, he's not like corporeal. And he goes, oh, I'm good to be honest, Moonshire, I'm just crowned, you're staking, it's tall on me.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But again, as I've told you, you just keep it a warm for me. But I am here because I just need you to hang on for a little bit longer, okay? I just need like, I need maybe 12 to 14 days. You see pentagost nods, and he goes, Pentecost nods and he goes I was thinking I mean with your permission on cascayas on you another time at my increase your willpower for whatever So I got to be honest with that of just like carving my brain exploded helping that's helping me yeah it's right, I was thinking it might be helping. Yeah, because

before I met you, Monsign, back when I was the dark lord of Shadowfell, I was more conniving and ambitious, and the crown is kind of starting to make me feel that way again. Yeah, I know. The way my life span works is I'm almost like a lich or like a revenant. I'm essentially immortal. When I die, I revert back to a tiny piece of myself like the fragment of my heart that you found in Chattelfel. In that state, my personality is more malleable, I'm essentially being reborn. And usually, my heart fragment is held by someone conniving

Usually, my heart fragment is held by someone conniving, some villain who uses my power. I use them. They help me escape, and I betray them. It's like I'll continue. But there's time you pick me up, and you were nice to me from the origin. When you roughed me here, not only did I not want to betray you, but I didn't want to let you down. I feel the crown changing me. I know. But if I don't wear it, then I'm looking you down. I know.

I wish I was not asking this of you, and I promise if I thought there was another way, I would just come down here. And yeah, I mean, I confess that I would just come down here and yeah I mean I confess that I do have some selfish desires I want to tie up some loose ends up there but you know I see the world moving on without me and and that's for the best so I'm seeing it tie itself but it doesn't really need me to tie up that much more. But I do always. You see, Pendergreens puts his hand on your hand and he goes, Moontrine, if you can help me of all people, there are so many people you have left to help.

There are so many people you have left to help. I have thousands of years of penance to pay. I know, but I don't think that that penance is going to be sufficiently paid if you're wearing a crown that absolutely corrupts your soul. And if anyone's gonna wear that crown, if anyone can wear that crown, I think I'm the best chance we have. Because I'll become down here with a heartful of really good memories. And I think that's gonna power me for at least a couple thousand years. You see he nod memories. And I think that's gonna power me for at least a couple thousand years. You see, he nods.

And then maybe in a thousand years, I'll have turned into some terrible wicked version of myself and you, pen degrees, will be up there on the surface, being your best self and you'll come down and shake me out of it. I don't know, I don't know how it's all gonna play out but I know that everyone's up there building really nice lives and they're gonna be okay and I just need to help them with

this final task. Well, I'm trying if anybody could wear this crown and have a knock corrupt them, I don't think it would be you because I couldn't corrupt you and I'm pretty, I'm pretty convincing. You might have good, I mean. I usually get people to take the drum and then they take the drum and then I say, oh, let me be your dark lord, I say, oh, hurry, I'll do that. And you will like no.

Yeah, I'll be honest with you. I've been like a super hot tea drink. It would have actually been way more effective. That's an easier route in some manipulative way. Some of the worst is the collective malice of the one hells is in my head right now, kind of saying, like, I should make myself a hot, but I think I already look hot.

So... Yeah, sure, Panda Greens. Sure. You know what, when there's no mirrors, anything goes. Anywhere, if I figure out anything, if there's anything I can do to help, I would love for your fate to not be this because honestly I'd like following you around the sword and you guys are pretty kick-ass and yeah I feel like if I can save you then everything will have been worth it. You know that's that's really sweet pender greens but yeah I don't know anyone else who can do it and yeah just I don't know I guess maybe

what is it like down here I mean what do I have to anticipate? I mean, I've been down here, but what does it feel like with the crown on and also maybe the solitude? I think I'm really nervous about the solitude because even up in Bahumia, I mean, I found people, but, you know what? I didn't ever find my person or anything like that, you know? Right, yeah.

And then I'll come down here and then it's like just gonna be me. Well, oh, I mean, oh, I'll hang out. If you need like a glory, thank you, Pundergreens, but I mean there's only so many video games I can play in a business. Yeah, you know, yeah, I think I'm worth I've lived for a long time. I'm okay with slow minutes. Okay, so you're saying you get used to it. Yeah, okay all right then and The weather I mean just what should I pack like sweat?

the weather, I mean, what should I pack? Like sweaters or something. No, no sweatshirts, it's super hot. Tank top, maybe, I'll have a tank top. Actually, speaking of things that you wear at garments and whatnot, I actually made you something. But I forgot how big your neck was. It's... I have a big neck.

No, it's just that you were like a human size neck and I'm like eight feet tall and like 500 pounds. So I was like, I was like, you're tiny. But anyway, you see he pulls out this leather choker that has like spikes on it. What are you trying to tell me, Pender Gritch? I'm really hoping made too. I was totally soft and airing,

but I thought you would think it was like cool. Oh, okay, okay, okay. No, it is definitely cool. But it's really small, it looks like a collar. Oh, okay. Yeah, I got someone I could give this to. He's mad at me right now, but maybe this will be a nice conciliatory gift.

Oh, who bound or that pencil neck knob? Oh, what? Well, I wasn't thinking found or but now that you mentioned or maybe, although if I gave this to him, I don't know, my go to his head. Oh, really? Yeah. All right.

Well, then with your permission, I will cast gas one last time and then I will see you in about 12 days I'm really I'm really trying I'm trying and I mean that I know you are I'm not trying to imply that you are doing you are doing more than you even should be doing. So much easier when I want it to be bad. Being good sucks ass. It sucks. That's just what it comes down to.

I'm going to use all of my brain power and I'm going to figure something out. All right. Well, you know what? That's a decent amount of power. So bring it in. Let's cast gay house the family way Give my hug. He gives you a hug

all right Cast gas on him you by yourself another 30 days and then And I guess can I real quick you have like sort of a room like it goes out It's transcend so I can plane shift back Yeah, like like a nursing room I could go as else trans in so I can plane shift back. Yeah. Yeah. Like sort of like a nursing room in an office.

We should. That would be, you know, in hell, they're not super woke. So they don't do things like that. Okay. Why can't I change that, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to put in, to my office is now a nursing room.

Hahaha. You might go in my nursing room. Great. So I'll go in as L's trans. I come back out, throw them a peace sign, and I go to a plane shift. We're trying. Yeah.

If when you come back, if I'm different, I'll kill you, don't worry. I was going to say just remember me as I am now, because I like who I am when I'm around you. I will do just that. All right. And then you can kill me from being a knob. Yeah.

No. If you're a knob, I'll know that you'll want me to have killed If I become a knob if I if you become a knob then I'm killing you in honor of who you are today Oh, thank you for your looks, you know, but yeah I got some imps to Yeah, okay Yeah, so out of the What you the spot it could be crowned. What did you say? Sure, I'm getting a little despotic because of the crown.

Yeah, no, I know. I know. Through my scratch or what I have sensed, the evil pull on your soul. So, yeah. I know. You don't have to say anything. It ain't you. Let's just say that. Both of us know it ain't you. Smell me. It ain't you. I gotta go try.

When Paul Paul back with this super sexy call. All right, my pen are greens. Good bye, I'm trying. And then I plan shift back. Jenny plan shift back. Munchan, you plan shift back. Phew. You find yourself back in Glade Home.

Are you going back to like your guys stupendous stomp? Or where are you going? Um, you know, I know, I guess I gave the step to Mama. So, yeah, I think I just find places to sleep on or stars, and whatnot. Okay. You go and you find a place to lay down to rest. And you see after a little bit,

old Cobb struts over, and sits next to you and he goes, hey Moonchan, nice night huh? Yeah, yeah, it is a nice night. I don't know what you wizards and druids can do, and to the world and you can see the moon. Yeah, well you know, control whether it's real powerful stuff. True powerful stuff. Yeah, but actually no, we had nothing to do with this. This is just a nice night.

I'm sorry. I was trying to take credit for Mollora's work. I don't know. I mean, 40 days and 40 nights. Yeah. Hey, look, um, Papa came and was he happy to meet me? Had a druid cast, speak with animals on him? Said you were getting your fairs in order

You got plans young and I Don't got plans I got obligations See he nods. Yeah, you're damn right, you got obligations. You got obligations to me, you got obligations to the quick folk, you got obligations to Beverly, you got obligations to Hardwon. There's a lot of people here look up to you.

Yeah, and I'm doing what I need to do to do right by them. All right. All right. We'll just know you got friends. Thank you, God. I appreciate that. If you ever need anybody to talk to, you come talk to old Cobb. I might sometime, but I think right now, I don't know that I haven't in me to talk. If that's okay.

That's all right. This be a bad time for me to invite you to my improv show. Actually, I think maybe that could be just the thing I need. Nothing cheers up a person more than an improv comedy show. O'Cobb grabs your hand and pulls you into a tent that as you enter it, it is a magnificent show room. And you see there's a stage, and you see a hard one, and I assume you guys have got to show.

Corn! You need a word, right? Corn would be good. Hard one's there, sitting next to Beverly, and Balnor waves you over, moonshine. Good shot, good shot, good shot. You gotta get over here. Is that over Moonshine. Moonshine, Moonshine, Moonshine, Moonshine. Go over here. Help me out corn.

Corn, corn. Oh, Cove comes out. All right, everybody. We're gonna need a suggestion from the audience. Corn, corn, corn. Corn, corn, corn. Corn, corn. You're so many people saying corn.

All right, well, we are the Cr cliques. This is me and Kooter here. You see Kooter goes, ah, hey, what's up? That's a level six improviser. You know what? Why don't we get some volunteers from the audience and this is a tiny improv troop But anybody like to come up and join us. Oh, oh, oh my hands shoots up picks up Beverly comes on up. I started like doing like little sprints in place Clapping my hands. I'm wearing like a white button down for some reason You think you're gonna be discovered Beverly go on stage everybody's clapping And old cob enters the first scene with you and goes, Damn, that's a lot of corn.

But not nearly enough. Oh, oh, the corn festival's tomorrow. We haven't made enough corn. What are we gonna do? How are we gonna get more corn at this hour of the night? Which it is. It is night right now. Mocha, and this is amazing. We found her just goes, they're just making this out. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Oh, I feel something in my stomach. Oh, you break me with corn.

I break it with corn. I never see this again. It's just like, it's just, it's just, you have it and then it goes. It's just lightning in a bottle. It's just lightning in a bottle. This is insane. I mean, come on, you're not, what the fuck are we doing here? You have it and then it goes lightning and a bottle. It's just lightning and a bottle. This is a queen. I mean, come on, you're not,

what the fuck are we doing here? Can somebody get me some hot corn water? You see Kooterwax in, don't worry, I'm a corn doctor. I need a corn doula. Everyone laughed, oh, no, sorry, it's a corn doctor. I'm gonna do a corn section on you. I fall off the bench laughing. The fat north is dying, super red face, a corn section on you. I fall off the bench laughing. The fat north is dying.

Super red face. A corn section. That's freaking hilarious. They both start with C. And you guys all go red face laughing about the dumbest shit as the food shine crapples with the most difficult decision of her life. My God.

Goodness. So you guys go to bed for that night. And is there anything else you guys would like to do in the coming days? I got some minor stuff. I think that while my mom is visiting Glade Home, I ask her for her sticky buns recipe. Oh, yeah, of course, hun. Are you sure? I just...

Come on in, I'll teach you how to cook them. Really? Yeah. Gosh. Your mom brings you in, you spend a wonderful afternoon with your mother. Wait, wait, wait. Would it be okay if I invited one more person? Yeah, by all means. I guess I go over to the library, which is where Moonchan's been hanging out and I say hey I've got something that might make hey are you awake or you're dancing?

Uh, I don't know anymore You okay? Yeah, I'm fine. No, what time is it all right good enough for me? Hey I've got something I think would make your hero's feast just a little better. OK. I lead her over to. I rip up the book I was reading and toss it in the trash.

As I do with every book. No, those are reusable. Oh, what? They're not single use? No, no, no. It's not like toilet paper or something like that. Oh, dear. No, it's not like toilet leaves. I pick up. Oh, dear. No, it's not like toilet leaves.

I pick up the book from the trash and wipe my ass with it. This is exactly like toilet paper. Hard one. Actually, yeah, you're here too. Come on. You'll enjoy this as well. I did. No, I just came to the library to wipe my ass.

Honestly, some of the books I read, not even worth it. You see, the library comes up. I'm sir, we banned you from the library. I took away my friend's rich. I need a coin. It's actually under Papa's name. You have to go to Papa. He's got him on banker now.

You see Papa? Her state. Papa has not been hanging around moonshine the past couple days. He's been hanging out with a queen. And he's been smoking. That's it. That is an emo possible. I think it's weird and we should probably bring that up with moonshine, but it's pretty cool that the possum is smoking, so I'm gonna let it slide for now.

Are his claws painted with black nail polish? Dang, there's like a little glitter on there too. It's great. Yeah, we need there's like a little glitter on there too. It's great. Awesome. Yeah, we need a taste tester for sure on this one. Alchem, yeah, I know, I just cleaned up. I wiped my butt so it's not. I mean, you guys all rush over to Mama Toe Gold's

magnificent huts. You go into her kitchen and she demonstrates for you guys her sticky bun recipe. Moonshide, you may now use sticky buns as part of your hero's feast if you would like. Wow. Yes, bitch. And I didn't even have to go to the library to do it.

There are a lot more portable than a wet burrito. Look at that. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, mom and dog old. Oh, of course. Can I teach her to make a hero's feast? Please do.

Mom and dog old, have you ever cast a sixth level Druid spell? I'm gonna be honest, I have not even cast a cantrip. Don't you go to that class at night where you drink wine and you do the paintings and you cast six level spells? Not the last part. Okay, all right. I was missing form. All right, fair enough.

But thank you so much. What, what are you going to do? Are you going to stay here? I think for now, we'll see kind of how it all turns out. We're all, we're really pulling for you guys. Thanks, thanks mom. Okay, for like a little hug. As she gives you a hug, she gives all you guys a hug.

So the last thing that I want to do, and I guess like maybe after moonshine and hard one leave the tent, I linger with my mom for a bit and I'm like, I don't know where Dad is exactly or if we'll ever hear from him again, but if he wanted, we could try and reach out to him. I have an okay relationship with the Duskmother, who I guess is kind of his rehabilitator.

I'm not sure how it works. Yeah, I mean, if there's any way to talk to your father, believe me, I would love to. I miss him very much. Let's give it a shot, right? All right. She will give you the help action. Go ahead and make a religion check.

I place a plate of sticky buns. And I make a like fairy circle of sticky buns, and we stand inside of them. Great. Religion? Yep. That's an at 20. That's an at 20.

There he is. Bev, you close your eyes. You hold your mother's hand. You pray. Use kind of all of the forces of nature, all of the radiant energy of Melora and of Bohemia to reach out to the dusk mother, to reach out to your father. And you feel that something is wrong. And with a nat 20, you feel that he is trapped somewhere that is not shadow fell. There is not one plane between you two. There are two. No, no. He is not only not in Shadowfell,

but he is somewhere further away than that. Is he in the outer planes? You can't tell. Well, this is not how I wanted this cooking lesson to end. Is he just going to start, is this going to be like a Ouija board? Or what do we? Yeah, yeah, it's like that. It's hard to get a clear answer of what's going on, but sometimes vague is good. Sometimes vague is good. Right, yeah.

But Bev, with that now 20, some ain't right, and Shadow fell. All right, well, that's, I'm gonna put a pin in that. 10 you mind investigations. He's on another plane. It's not easy to communicate with people believe me. I've tried. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you, sweetie. I love you. I love you. She gives you a kiss. Cool. And then I leave. Also with a huge weight over my head.

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You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Sweet, it is going on about three weeks now. Hard one, you guys have not managed to find the hammer or King Beginnes. I also want to specify that I'm putting out a little plate of food for the horse of famine every night. I'm assuming they're

stalking me so I'm trying to be hospitable. Go ahead and give me a perception check. About what kind of food they like? No. 26. You catch Balnor eating food. I'll let him have that. He just goes down. He's right. But have at it. So you guys reunite. You guys probably haven't been spending as much time together recently. But you guys reunites, you guys don't have moonshines, wand anymore to create your own space, but you definitely have your own kind of resting place, your own little magical cottage.

Yeah. One big bed. Yeah. There must always be one big bed. Hey, gang. Hey, what's up, y'all? Sup. Sup.

Hard one. How's it been going? Yeah, things are good. Y'all. Sup. Sup. Sup. Hard one. How's it been going? Ah, yeah. Things are good. I'm spending every afternoon wrestling. Yeah. That's pretty covered in bruises.

Very nice. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah. You should see the other guy. You should see the other dwarf. Tell you what. I mean, Jaina comes around. She looks much better.

Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a lot of body shots, so she's got an armor. Like, it's all in her organs. Like, if we saw our organs, they're all beat up. Yeah, well, I mean, there's a lot of body shots so she's got armor like it's all in her organs. Like if we saw our organs, they're all beat up. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm getting better, but so is she. Unfortunately, we're both getting a comment that's stronger and she started stronger. So, I fuck you, man, you want a wrestle? Kind of. Wow, let's do it. Let's fucking go bud. I'm really tired.

Yeah, he's wrestled a lot. I've been around. Are you wrestling me? Yeah, Boundor. Boundor's been getting pretty jacked himself. Boundor's just been working out this whole time. I know we gotta fight the island. I'm not gonna be using my brain.

No one's using their brain for this. That's a 28 on the first athletic check. Oh, okay, that's going to be, oh, just a 19. 19. He starts to overtake you, do another one. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

That's only a 10 for me. Oh, he throws you down. Oh, God. He's the bale d'orees that he's the teenager. No, you have to wrestle. He thinks he's a big guy now that his voice changed. Oh my God. Beverly, use your nails.

Go ahead and roll one time. He's trying to pin you. Okay, but he rolled in at 20. So you got a roll in at 20 to not. That's at 13. He pins you down. I counted, counted hard ones. One, two, three.

What are you doing? God damn it. Oh, we're fine. Yeah, good. I push him a little bit. Count it hard one two three. What's your name? Oh god damn it. Oh Yeah, good I push him a little bit All right, all right, I play I go to the fridge and get some milk Just bring it out of the carton so it's let's go now with everybody Yeah, moonshine I learned counterspell that's it Yeah, I mean it's a feat as a druid no learn counterspell. That's it? Yeah, I mean, it's a feat as a druid to learn counterspell. I didn't mean it like that.

Oh, I see, I see. Yeah, I just fucking studying in the library, banging my head against a wall, absorbing so many words. God, there are so many words. And yet they are so inadequate compared to other forms of communication. Sure. Yeah. I mean, they form one part of the tapestry of expression. Yeah.

But it's a small part. Yeah. But Y'all have taught me that. But, you know, yeah. So, what about you? Well, I tried to commune with my dad. You know, I wanted to check in with him see how things were treating him in Shadowfell. And I don't know if he's even there. He's somewhere else, he's. What? Yeah, I think he might be trapped somewhere.

Shadowfell, maybe we can, maybe we can scry on my mom. I wanted to check in with her before. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe we can get a little sense of what's going on down there. Yeah. Sweet, hard one. You, with the help of moonshine,

you guys use Roseline, you attempt to scry on your mother and get a scry on your mom. The... You gotta scribe your mom. The same thing happens. There is a barrier. You are not able to see. She usually takes my call. All right, well, I guess I'll just plane shift

to Shadow Hill. Can we bring him? Can we come? Yeah. I mean, unless y'all are busy, I'm just saying like, I can also just dip, dip there, Zellas trans dip back, just see what's going on. See if it's just that like some branch is caught up

in the antenna of the sky. Might as well all dip together. You shouldn't go alone if there's danger. All right, y'all got a specific place you wanna go. Oh, wherever you're in the thro' over. Probably the palace, yeah. The Amber heaven. Yeah, sweet. Let's the throw. Probably the Palace, the Ember Heaven. Sweet. Let's get some of that soup and Grimhawk first.

So you guys, plane shift, you arrive in Shadowfell in the throne room of Ember Heaven. The blood star has set, the room is dark, safe for a few torches, but a lot of them are out, because there is a strong breeze here. You look at where the window was behind the throne, where you can usually see the blood star during the day, and the window has been shattered. You see dead bodies and weapons strewn about, it looks like there was a fight here.

Okay, so mom hasn't been redecorating this is just a bad situation. Yeah. Can we scry on her now? Let's try and scry on her now that we're in the same plane. Sweet. You try to scry on her. There is some kind of block on it.

Still. Still. Can we look at the bodies? We'll kind of end up. Go ahead and make an investigate check or like a perception or insight as you guys go around. Net 20. Net 20?

Net one. I got a net too. Mochaine, you just give a thousand. Here we are, Stan. We're out of wind up. On game, honestly. Damn, that library really took her. On game, honestly. Yeah. Damn, that library really tuckered you out, huh? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're under it. It's not fun, all right. I'm sorry, what did you say? Forget it. Man, she really hates books. Yeah, she's weird. I don't know. Why isn't she talking back? I don't know. I thought it was like, I punched her in the arm before. And, hasn't she talking back?

I don't know, I thought it was like a punch from the arm before, and she didn't punch me back, and just felt like I was abusing somebody. Yeah. Oh, whoop, sorry, a punch ball in the arm. Oh, that was hard as hell. Jesus Christ. You just a while, but muscles have an atrophy, that's good.

Hard one, you look around, and you see that these bodies are from your mother's shadow guard. The like, the dudes that wore the black armor, like de-animated skeletons and stuff, you see the damage that was done to them does not look like it was made by any kind of regular weapon. And with a nat 20, you can guess who probably did this. Is the Allah? No. Of course.

The Raith, who is coming for you. Is death. Death. Wow. Fuck me. It's this vendetta that this Oh, fuck me. It's this vendetta that this horse has against me. Oh.

You think it's maybe the rider as well? I don't know, really, but I know that the horse has it out for me. Okay. Death came from my mother. Can I cast Locate Creature to try and find Lydia? You cast Locate Creature? Yeah. It's within a thousand feet, right?

Yeah. She is not here. And I will even say, you guys look out the window and you look around and you see that the city is mostly abandoned. It does not look like the cataclysm that hit here. It looks like this is mostly intact, but you do see other deanimated skeletons. You see werewolves that have been killed, vampires that have been killed.

Death came here. These horsemen are nothing but trouble. We got to... Have y'all not been leaving out food for your horsemen? No. I put up some like popery around the campus to try and like ward off, you know, plague and whatnot. See, my feeling is we feed the horses and turn them against the riders.

That's a good idea. We don't know what the horses agenda are. I've been eating the horsemen food. I know, Bal. It's really obvious. I don't know why you do it on all fours. You are getting jacked, you know. I hate that.

I hate it one night. I can be candid with getting jacked, you know. I hate that's what I feature. I ate it one night, I could be candid with everyone. Yeah, whatever he's doing is worth it. I was like, I think she's in. All right, I'm at horse food for everyone. Is it like, are you having like a fourth meal? Is it like, yeah, that's what I think it's like I'm waking up in a bulking

because I got moonshine's horseman meal. Look, did this death horse make off with Beverly's dad too? Go ahead and make a perception check. You put my dad in a gym too. 16. 24. 12.

Munchan, you look down at the city below out of the window and you see amongst the dead there is this little gray goblin dude with yellow eyes that like peaks around like a corner like looking around to see if whatever danger is gone and then starts like scrambling away down the street. I guess I just chased a tree stride after him. You tree stride and you appear in front of this little dude. What the fuck are you doing? I block his way. Who are you working for?

I work for the Dark Lord of Shadowfell, Lydia Stormborn. Okay, where is she now? You see he's super nervous looking in all directions for danger, but then sees that it's kind of just you and takes a deep breath and he goes, she took a bunch of people, she took most of her shadow garden stuff,

she was going to Deep Hollow, she said that she needed to help somebody. Where is Deep Hollow? Deep Hollow is west of here? All right, well, leave me my friends. Did you do the friends? It would take me weeks to get there. I'm a little friendlin Hey, I just caught up to Mujra Hard one and Beverly run down how many how many miles from here is it all right? Well first off we got a hide because there's this after she left. There's this crazy

Fucker that's flying around. He's got a horse that flies and he's just been killing everybody. He's been banished. He's been banished. We don't have to worry about the guy. Everybody, no, we gotta worry about the guy. The guy was able to, he said, I am death and this is unnatural. Oh, that wasn't the horse. The dead should not be walking.

You know what, actually his mouth didn't move. It could've been the horse. That's what I'm saying. So we're saying the horse. So the horse comes out and the horse goes, death should not be walking. I am the lord of death and banishes a bunch of people. So a bunch of people here disappear.

The ones that don't disappear, he just starts slashing through and they go away. I hit, I got out of the dodge. Okay. Where's this horse now? And how did he get so good at ventriloquism? I don't know where the horse went, but I hope he's far, far away from here. Well, it sounds like the only safe place for any of us is Deep Hollow, right?

Well, I can't get us there just yet. I'm sure I could try and plane shift us there, but I don't have teleport or anything like that. I could personally tree stride there myself, but... So you see, as you mentioned, casting a spell to get there, whatever, he goes, look, I don't know what your abilities are or anything, but Deep Hollow is super far away. We've got this city, then there's a valley, there's a bunch of mountains and crazy shit in there, and then Deep Hollow, you don't wanna go there.

That's a giant, it's a haunted city within a mountain. Yeah, honestly, that sound, we've got, we have literally been to hell. Right, that's a giant, it's a haunted city within a mountain. Yeah, honestly, that sound, we've been, we have literally been to hell. Right, that's standard. That's standard. If a city inside a mountain isn't haunted, I'm kinda like, what's up? Right, what's the point?

Yeah. Oh, by the way, she spent the last fucking three weeks in a library. You think at least years or no? Yeah, you wanna talk about haunted? So sorry. You wanna talk about. Truly so sorry. Hell?

Truly so sorry. Anyway, you might wanna watch out for. So so. You want to talk about. Truly so so. Hell. Truly so sorry. Anyway, you might want to watch out for that death guy because the death guy came here and he was looking for Lydia. And I think likely somebody spilled the beans. Not me. So do you think the death was hiding? Okay.

I would have spilled the beans if I were caught. So when you're expert in sub-supremes, do you think that the death guy is headed towards Lydia in Deep Hollow? I think that is likely. Annie's moving real fast, ain't he? Yeah, probably not as fast as a turtle, but like, similarly fast, I would say. Yeah, I'm gonna go back to hiding if that's okay with everyone. Suit yourself.

Okay. What's fast? Should we just have you Zellas trans? Should we just get you a fucking nursing room? Is that we can plane shift? Can we plane shift to another spot on a plane? Yeah, but I got a zealous trans to get back. I'm trying to see if wind, if I could keep stopping,

stocking windwalk. I could probably just like say something really inspiring to jaw jaw. Let me take him for a test. All right, how fast is the spurs? Yeah, yeah, all right. Like we're gonna do a 40 yard sprint, okay? We're gonna do it.

I guess a 40 yard swim for you. You gotta swim through the air. Yeah, all right. He does a spectral float through the air. Great, he begins swimming. He can fly. Cool. He is stronger than most other mounts

that you would get with a fine grater steed. But he is a little bit slower. He has 25 speed. That's my speed. Does he get the benefit of my Yippee Skippy boots? Sure, yeah. He starts going 50. He kicks his Yippee Skippy turn of the...

I like to look back at hard one and Moonshine. I'm like, uh, this is pretty good. Moonshine, have you not started Zellestrancing it? All right, y'all, we're finally using this. It takes a minute to cast, but I'm gonna starting to sell this transient. All right, y'all, we're finally using this. It takes a minute to cast, but I'm going to cast Windwalk. You and up to 10 willing creatures, you can see within range, assume a gaseous form for the duration, appearing as whips of cloud.

While in this cloud form, a creature has a flying speed of 300 feet and has resistance to damage from non-magical weapons. The only actions a creature can take in this form are the dash action or to revert to normal form. I get to be a sulfur boi again. Beverly's 40 yards away on Jax-A. Come on, we'll get the refu days.

Onward, Jax-A. Mochine casts Windlock, and you guys all turn into puffs of smoke and begin jetting through the air. It takes like a full day of travel, like a really long, like 16 hour day. And as you're flying over the mountains below, hard one, you begin to recognize where you guys are approaching.

Is this the, the inversive iron de-mode? This is the inversive iron de-part Oh. This is the inverse of iron deap. Hard one, go ahead and give me an insight check. 14. 14. Yes, you realize that you guys are heading towards the reflection of iron deap. So you guys make your way through the deep hollow mountains.

This gray bleak landscape below you, devoid of life, until finally you reach the entrance to the mountain city. Hard one, you recognize it immediately. It looks like a grim version of Iron Deep. The city you grew up in had a tall entryway with like beautiful, dwarven architecture. The stonework that blended seamlessly into the natural stone of the mountain. There were giant statues of d'Orvian kings and queens and legendary warriors. But here, this entrance looks like a glorified cave.

The mouth is just as wide as the grand entrance of Iron Deep. But there is no stonework, just jagged rocks that jut out around the outside of the entrance like claws preparing to clutch you as you enter. Another upsetting version of a homecoming. Yeah. Ha ha ha. It is very dark out.

You guys traveled for so long and the blood star of Shadowfell only rises for so long each day, so it is common gone. You would have missed the entrance to Deep Hollow, had you not been so intimately familiar with Iron Deep, and the city is poorly marked. But you do see two brazers on a platform outside the entrance, and they are burning blue flame. You also see a glowing blue light coming from inside the city.

Everyone go ahead and give me perception checks. 28. Gonna reroll that one? 12. Okay, 17. Bev and hard one. Well, Bev, you just see you're just like, wow, blue, this is kind of rad. Huh. Normally it's red.

Well, it looks good. You think that, you think that fire would be red, but it's blue. This is me talking to Belnor. Yeah. The half list is up with that. I just stunned. I need to get this from my room.

I think I'm talking to Belnor and I say, well, it's like dead, I said, red star at day, that's not okay. Red star at day, that's not okay. Red star at night, also bad. Right. Hard one. You see that, you see coming off of the blue flame, like as the flame licks touch the air,

it almost looks like little ghostly forms. And you can just make out a ghostly figure going into the cave and moonshine with that high ever perception check. You see it is the ghost of Gunther as a bear. He came back as a human before but you see the bear form of Gunther going into this cave. Can I just try to catch up with the ghost of Gunther and try and talk to him?

Sweet. You guys, I'm gonna say you guys are pretty far away right now because I don't think you would have landed on a platform right in front of this city, but you do see Gunther disappears into the cave. Are you rushing into the cave? I do not think that is right, because that ain't the way reincarnation works. Gunther's spirit

should not be untethered, it should be still inside him, right? Still inside the human body that. Right. Okay. Well, it bothers me that he's going into the keep where my mom is right now. So let's see if we can watch. Okay. Yep, yep, yep. I no longer have wood elf magic, so I did have to stock this, but I'm going to cast Pass Without Trace on us. Great. Sweet. Are we rushing Andrew? Do we have a moment to prepare stuff?

I think we rush to the mouth of it and then stealth in, unless y'all want to just scum poison. No, that sounds crazy. I was just going to maybe take a beat to put maybe about 40-ish HP into my book and give it to hard one. Great. Cool. Just to have. Ty, yeah.

I guess I'll fungle form. Great. No, Sean, you sure you don't want this book? You're the nerd. Oh wait, there's a lot of HP in here. I'm on trim in the face. Oh! Fuck!

Wow, she started fighting back and it's been painful. What's the matter with you? Are you getting blood on the book? It's helping. Wow, weird. Can I take a torch and light it with the blue light of this brazier? Sure.

Like, can I grab like a nice shadow fell sapling? You're not gonna be stealthing if you go up and do that. Mm, that's a good call. It just seems so cool to rock and walk around blue fire. Should we go brazier's blazing? Yeah, I just want to light a torch with this blue brazier. Sweet, nice. Alright then, fuck the stealth.

Sweet, you guys don't cast Pass Without Trace. You guys take some kindling out of your pack, hold sticks over the bragers, and you guys now have these blue torches. That's cool. Nice. You know, I need this for the room. You know what we ought to do is now can I cast Locate Creature on Lydia?

Oh, yes. Yeah, so I'm a cast Locate Creature on Lydia. We have a hard one who is. I also could cast Locate Object on the hammer if you want wanna do that. I'll prioritize my mama. Okay. Okay.

New cast Locate Creature on Lydia. I am going to need you to go ahead and roll me and our conno check. Our conno. Because you can help. Thank you. You're gonna help me find your mom. Yeah, this is not the,

it's just describing what she looks like even though, you know what, it looks like me, but we got her here. And we're like, right, I'm sorry, I mean, yeah, exactly. I'm just saying.

Yeah. Never been described as kind of hot. I actually was talking about her. Okay. Okay. All right then, that's gonna be 26. 26. You get a sense that she is here not in her corporeal form. So where is she? I think she might be here. Great, which way?

I think God, I was worried. As a spirit. She's got a lot of spirit, a lot of spunk. That's my mom. Which direction though? Do I know a direction? Her info-porial form? In and down.

Down. Okay, we're starting. I'm getting a sinking feeling in my stomach. Let's, um, we'll sink with it. Okay, don't. That's the direction we're going. I would just appreciate if you wouldn't wipe your tears

on the pages of the book. Yeah, sorry. I know which I can do it in the face again. I'm going to punch the tears off your face. Such. Woo. So you guys entered deep hollow and find it filled with glowing blue ghosts that light up the dark cave like fish in an aquarium.

All of these ethereal beings mostly faceless, just gliding from one place to another, not paying you any mind. Hard one, you see that deep hollow is set up like iron deep, with structures built on rings around the city that descend to lower ones as you get deeper down the mountain. However, you see that in the middle of this top ring where there should be like a huge hole leading down to the lower rings, it is full of debris like iron deep should be Guys go ahead and give me a perception check cool Nat one oh, that's 20 nice. Oh

Beverly you could see amongst, most of these ghosts are faceless, like some kind of spectral beings that have long since lost their memory of their mortal form. You see amongst them is Gunther, and you see he is over the debris in the middle of this area of the city and sinks down. Does he catch our eyes at all? Nope. Okay.

Can I just shout? Gunther! You shout Gunther? Just to see if he blotches or anything like that. You do not get a response, but you do see that a few of the ghosts like kind of turn and look at you confused Where y'all headed? Where's the party? You catch any of that? Alright, they said down I think Are you and these ghost animals gonna cast speak with animals on these ghosts?

You do not see any animals, but also you also see amongst the swirling mass of ghosts appearing in different places as if hopping kind of between them like inhabiting the ghosts is the rath on the pale horse. He's ghost-striing. They can all do it. You see. He amazes so much. It's cloak covers its face and it wields a sigh. And you guys hear its voice simultaneously echoing through the cave and also sounding like it's right over your shoulder. Somebody whispering into your ear. Hard one, sure, fine.

So you should be dead. Yeah, it looks like you can't do your job right, Ken, yeah. Hahaha. The reason I can't do my job is because people like Beverly and Moonshine break the laws of death. Careful, you're talking about my family. You disrupt the balance. But while I walk the material plane and its reflections, you will obey my rules.

I have thwarted your recent attempt and I'm restoring balance as we speak. You see the ghosts that have been floating around this cave, suddenly swirl and come together to form a projection, an image. You see red in his bed eyes wide and frozen with fear. Easy you pale fuck. It's too late. He's not breathing. He's dead. His eyes are not blinking.

They stay open for an unnaturally long time, and there is no rise in his chest. Hovering over him is the man you thought to be Gunther, this hairy, imposing figure possessed by an avatar of death, you see a copy of the rath floating around him like an aura and holding the siphon. Okay, alright, you whispery f**ker. I'm hearing this too, right? Or it's just hard one hearing this. You're hearing this too.

Okay, wasn't sure if I was even dropping or not, but I'm getting in on this. Did you hijack my reincarnator something? That's right. You hijacked the very laws of death. Oh, did I? Because the way I see it, what Theol is doing is far more hijacking the laws of death. If anything, I'm writing her wrongs. Yeah, you're just picking and choosing which rules you want to play by. You're obviously confused, man.

You should read a dang book. I read the books. I do not worship Theolah. We love reading books. You should read more books. You I read a name. Well, you need books. I do not worship the Allah. We love reading books. You should read more books. You obviously are very not well read. He's on a horse, right? He is on a ghostly rave.

If you try to speak to animals, it's not gonna work. Right, but what if I try to dominate beastly rave? He's not, he's a ghost. My backpacker. As we're talking to this rath and kind of like, as we're kind of like witnessing this scene, I kind of like lean over to moonshine and like put a reaffirming hand on the smaller back

and cast death ward. Sweets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, come after me, huh? Oh, I will. Yeah, come after her. This is just one that I've taken from you today.

But you owe me more. Why don't you come try to take us then? Wow. Can I just understand, I'm sorry, at what point did theala take you aside and say, hey, y'all want to come work with me? What did that go down like? Just walk me through it, I'm so curious.

Yeah, when she was like, hey horse guys, can you be on my side? Yeah, when she was like, hey, death, you're so concerned about defending the natural order of death, I'm gonna create an artificial mass extinction, and you're gonna be on board with that. I was summoned.

I am death. You can take it up with the other three if you have a problem with the way they do things. No, I'm really just bumping up against the way you're talking to me. I'm bumping up against here. Well, I have a deal for you. The four of you can all go quietly into the light. And then I won't take any more of your friends tonight.

We're gonna need to make that deal in person. What? We're not gonna make a deal with someone who's dancing around a bunch of their puppets. You gotta come here and we'll make that deal face to face. We're ready for you. But I not thinking that just be a ghost. I'm right here. Yeah, this is as high as I actually was a guest. Oh, this isn't real as a guest here. Yeah, I'm just all over the place. I'm super powerful. Yeah, yeah. How about this? You know what? We'll take that deal if you also teach me how to

corpse stride. You will die here today. And so will many of your friends who are asleep in their beds and That's where we'll Wait a second I was just doing all that trash talk while I looked at my spells Sorry, I'm gonna fight this guy. Yeah next week guys. That was just me banged-dumbs I could look at which spells do you? I thought it was parlor tricks nope. Oh dang. Um, he killed red and he's gonna kill your other friends And times are fun Here I thought we'd dodge the bullet by getting rid of that plague sword, but mmm nope there I guess I shouldn't cast reincarnate anymore

You want to read it? I still might die. I want to be a Hold on to that one sweet Reincarnate anymore. You want to read it for me? I still might die. I want to be reincarnated. Hold on to that one. Sweet. Well, guys, we'll play it on the short rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check out the short rest, patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, D-P-O-D, don't sing yet.

Sure. And yeah, what do we have to plug, guys? Oh, I would like to plug our PO box once more. We have so many goodies that have been sent to us and I would like to shout out all those fine folks. First up is Eli who sent us a Christmas card. Best of luck to your Halfling Paladin, sir Mordecai on their adventures Eli and thank you so much. Next up we got the Chilla family. I think that's how that's pronounced. They sent us a Christmas card. Kate and Mark also sent us a Christmas card. Sus and Mark also sent us a Christmas card.

Susie and Brian sent us a nice letter and some cool stickers. Danny S sent us a big stack of updated character portraits and a nice note telling us to come to Arizona. Danny Phoenix, baby. We can love your art. We're definitely gonna be there. We're gonna do a Phoenix show eventually.

Thank you so much. Caitlin, the Canadian hermit sent us a big bundle of fun stuff. Some mushroom, a mushroom papercraft, Christmas card for Emily. Oh, Caitlin also has a drow named Mint Chip Moon drizzle and wants to know about the drow of Bohemia, what they're like. I think you guys met a few, the hounds were drow. Okay.

So, I'm right. Yeah, and then there were some in the Fey Wild that I think we're fighting for the unceilies, so the unceilier. Now, good guys, because of Princess Jovier, so you're all good. The drought, right. The drower chill. And also, Caitlin made a really cool video game. Yes.

Is like really into video game development. Is that mentalpop.ca slash video. And we watched it. It's Grabby Paws. It's about a sassy little raccoon who's like going on a heist. And it's great. I would definitely like to try and write some music for it.

I can't wait to play that game. Next up, we have Olivia, who sent us a sassy because I'm the DM. That's why mug. We're buying to drink out of. Hell yeah. Wow. Kayla R sent us a nice letter and invited us to their wedding.

I want to send her to Atlanta again. So we'll add that to our wedding tour, just another stop. Can't wait. Been in Navajo, sent us a safe the date for their wedding in Olympic Valley, California. So everyone knows I'm weird at weddings. Right, yeah.

I dress very inappropriately. I do like a T-shirt and a blazer kind of look. I'm the who invited that guy, guys. I'm the makes a toast even though they're not supposed to go. I did the worm at the last wedding I went to when I cracked my sternum on the dance floor. I colored it off in a stretch. Paramedics had to come in. We were howling.

In the ceremony, it's a ex demanded that each get a plate. I demand to be carried out by the groom. Across the threshold of the doing ambulance. We also have something from Onoli M. They sent us some very cool ink drawings of our characters. Thank you so much for those. They're really cool. Alex and Jessica H sent us a high carbon alloy A2 knife.

Oh, very cool, very sharp. Very sharp. You try it, man. Yeah, it is. Fully scared of it. And Caitlin H. sent us a painting of Cougrash, a holiday card, and a couple copies of their beautiful psychedelic cop-hop print. Oh my God, Caitlin's art is amazing.

Wild y'all. Do we have her website? I do. It is Caitlin Hackett that's with two teas at the end of Hackett.com. Caitlin Hackett.com, incredible art. Please check it out. Thank you all so, so much for sending us stuff. If you would like to send us something,

it is 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number two, two, two, Los Feliz, California, 90027. I decided to stare at Jake while I said that. Oh, yeah, I apologize. I decided to stare at Jake while I said that. Oh, yeah, I apologize. I wasn't looking back in your eyes. It seemed like an invitation like meet me at the PO box. Exactly. I was winking in Morse code, so he missed the whole thing.

You see there, brother. That's me. Sweet, Jake, what do you got? You know, I'm gonna plug my sister, my sister Rachel has a band in there. Album is coming out. I think sometime around now, Ish. So if you check out Honey Magpie on Spotify, you can follow them and you'll,

if the album's not out, you can listen to it when it drops. I would say that the album is the goat. It is the goat. There's a single undecided is really good. I got it, I listened to it while I got ready last Saturday. Oh, it pumped me up. It pumped me up. Nice.

Sweet guys, and follow us on Twitter, at CHMRIFUSME, at Codwell, at EXFORD, is Emily, and at J.C.R. which is Jake, and you tweet about the show using hashtag, madpod, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's my mom, Doug, then.

It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Starting with Brad D. Dylan B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Jack L. The improv team that was scheduled to perform after Old Cobb. Unfortunately his set was so incredible it made them all instantly abandoned comedy and enrol in law school. Next up we got Beardman Dan, Adam R, Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Alu Card and Alexander T, a crew of Dwarven Blacksmiths who created a foldable lightweight metal chair that has revolutionized the sport of Dwarven wrestling.

The Smiths speculate that the chair could also be used for sitting in but their theory has yet to be tested. Howdorferosback, Jordan DJ, Jeffreas, Cutter W and Andrew M.5, cool Elventeens who invited Pop-On Aguayne to join their crew, then now spend their days smoking tiny magic wands and wild-shaping into chickens so they can egg or dance hot. Sure were the mushroom, Elena C. Mixologist Michael McD and Boundaurus Boy, a group of cricketeers, Beverly hired to wax Jaw-Jaw Shell. He paid them each five brown leaves, which accidentally upended the crick economy and sent Gladehome into a massive financial depression.

Just an eye, Jacob C. Elena M. and Dana G, the four other horsemen of the apocalypse. However, unlike the Alice Horsemen, these four are just sent to us that she paid to kick the shit out of non-believers. It's barbaric, but it gets results. Damn you are, Destin C, Jive G, and Earl and Kathleen L, a crew of sailors who became shipwrecked on an luxurious island during the Alice Cataclysm. They're now living out in the D&D version of Lost, except instead of the smoke monsters,

they have to deal with Ren and all his relatives. Sergio Salos are Salomon Sakurai's Tsequani, Michael L, Traile the Kray-Fey and Jorias, Polores other children. Unlike the Duskmother, these gods are total free loaders and are currently embroiled in a celestial war over who gets to inherit their dad's pontoon boat.

Adam H. Ryan, Aaron G. Jake L. and Michael K. M. the cigarette manufacturers that make Bohumian spirits, the cigarette of choice for angsty teenagers and the only cigarette a Gweinsmokes. Big Buck, Richard X. Mockena, Sam L. and Troy Mc McC, the devilish voices in Pinter Green's crown, who are attempting him to betray the goodness growing inside him, but also are super distracting when he's trying to drive. Damm R. Josh S. Nicholas C. Austin C. And Kristen P. A group of packed-of-the-tone warlocks who just switched to packed-of-the-kindle and have never felt so light and free, their

speed is increased by 10 feet. Mike A. H. Matthew A. Samuel B. O'Cotta and Angel B. The Food Network executives who have been courting Mama Toggle to release their sticky-button recipe for years and cannot believe she gave it up so easily to moonshine. A. R. N. C. T. J. M. The Nome Barbarian Trust, the traveler, Robert F. N. Paul and Megan the Twins. Kid co-bolds backup dancers who are

all classically trained in doing the hands through the hair dance. Anime intellect, Zolodolo, Nick B. and Burley T. A group of chosen nights who slept in and totally missed the apocalypse, Zololo was supposed to set an alarm, but their phone was on silent oh well hopefully they'll make the next rapture. Colton B.J. C.C. Lulu, Aiden R.H. and Robert P. Theolas, Glam Squad that had her doing juice cleanses to get her skin so radiate before her big apocalypse announcement. TBR, Aaron Sully, Blitzbrig, Demetri, J. Dragonborn, and Zach C.C., the improv group who went on after Cobb and Kudor and absolutely bombed because hard one wouldn't stop shouting corn over and over again during their set. Lucas B, Jordan L, Talith X, Mateo C, and Puppthoth, a crew of ghosts who retired to the city

of Deep Hollow after starring in Pac-Man. Those sweet Pac-Man residuals will buy you a real nice corner in a haunted cave. Kaley Elise, Barnes & Aitor, Mick Pox, Christian A, and Yens Christian T, a department of Shadowfell firefighters who specialize in putting out blue fires. If you ever find yourself covered in blue flame, remember their mantra, stop, drop, and holy shit, get some magic water, this fire is magic and doesn't go out when you roll. Devon W, Shenowabee, Jared E, Persephone, and Eric McDee, Merff's team of DM writers who know exactly what happened to Lydia, and they're not telling you shit unless you bribe them.

They're honestly super into breath. Reese NS, Eric and Andrea B. J. Parker, Jonathan O. and Austin MR, a team of investors who are helping Martha Togold open a sticky-bun stand. Their idea of packing a thousand golds worth of heroes feast into each bun will surely bank up them before long. Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Omri M. and Callum L. A gaggle of goblins who bravely refused to bend the knee to death when he came for Ember Heaven. They were too busy hiding and shitting themselves.

Scott D, North are the prodigy ranger, Mekongi, Dan, and the Red Rain, a group of dwarves helping hard-won excavate. They also have a secret training regimen at night, but they're all learning to be magicians, just a bunch of dwarves who kick ass at card tricks. Richard C. Karen T. Curtis S. Michael C. and Nathaniel P. The demonic meddelsmiths who crafted the hellfire crown. Honestly, they made it as a joke and feel super bad about the situation they've put moonshine in and are planning on destroying it in the next episode. Thanks gang, real big of you.

Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Nicholas P. and Kevin M. Kakaugh squadron of Kroess Assins known simply as the murder birds. Each one deals 5-10 of piercing damage per round. Unfortunately for Hard One, they're not accepting familiar applications at the moment. Raul and I am the Atlas, Meribel, the Kitty Morphing, Nome, Joe Mick G, and Meta Amps. Five Dwarfins that were also hiding under the seats while hard one carved Gemma's name into the bleachers, but were too busy making out with each other to even notice her care. At a kissy, Amy W. Luke H. Kelvin noodles and Grace G, a bunch of lesser rates in the employ of the A la. They don't have horses, but the A la did give them each a dope pair of Nike

slip-ons and some electrolyte goo so the band of boobs better watch the fuck out. Lance, Esmi, M, Gary, Jay, Kazamir, the all-knowing, and Spencer, Casquebrue, Erdan's team of assistants. Unfortunately, Erdan is terrible at delegating, so they spend most of their day making coffee for no one and pretending to feed bubbles. If they survive this war, their resumes are gonna be so stacked." Eric G. Michelle O. Gay Jam, number one Beverly and fan Jen R. and Tingle the Bard, a team of Buff Elves who were inspired by Apple Scrumpers' bravery, and now spread her teachings in the form

of a series of exercise tapes called Scrumpin and Pumpin, unfortunately they didn't pay her any royalties and are now on the run. Feldannis, gone off, I'm hopeless and Dave H, a team of adventurers led by none other than Nana Kinebleef, their mission, find and kill the legendary candy dragon so that they might claim his massive horde of warriors originals. Like the candy itself, the challenge will be hard, but the reward, oh so sweet. Thank you guys so much for listening, thank you to our council of elders and all of our Patreon subscribers. I had on over to our Patreon to listen to our short rest our after show and we'll catch you guys next week. Bye Sweeties!

That was a HitGum podcast. That was a Hate Gum podcast.