Not Another D&D Podcast - Frostwind's Mandatory Celebration of Maximum Luminosity: A Somber Festival (Holiday Special w/ Amir Blumenfeld)

Episode Date: December 19, 2019

Amir Blumenfeld joins the crew for a NADDPOD holiday adventure! The Band of Boobs visit the dwarphans for a year end celebration, but somethin' ain't right in Frostwind. Hardwon meets a fellow cold-hearted killer, Beverly commandeers a snow plow, and Moonshine engages in her own Cleganebowl. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Wind Howling" by CGEffex at Freesound.org."Vinril's Gems" by Emily Axford."Frostwind" by Emily Axford."A Humble Shopkeeper" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yeah. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, Shorefoot. Emily Axford. Why are you looking at a mirror for a proof of all? Jake literally said hard one, Shorefoot. And I nodded yes. I said good.

I said good. I don't know. I was looking for approval. I was looking for the disproval. I didn't find out if I was going to do my injury. The Emily Axford. The M&M time time and everyone's very of a Christmas bench. Get Lynn taking them to the bridge. I can't even do except thinking about Jake looking for approval.

I can't stress this enough. It was for approval. And of course, called the Othana. Love this energy. Love this chemistry right now. Beverly Togold, the fifth Togold, the first Noel. Mmm, very good. And of course, we have our steamed guest, Amir Blumenfeld. Hello, folks.

I'm not doing my care. No, because we don't know your character yet. God, that was scary. What if I just launched into it? It. Damn, that was close. What if I just launched into it? It. Damn, that was close. I learned so much. Okay, guys, so this is going to be a non-canonical holiday

adventure, but it is a holiday adventure. Guys, it is the holiday season in Bohumia. Crickmas and Galatoranica are just around the corner. The band of boobs have taken a much deserved break from their adventuring to give back to the community. Seems like we're getting a lot of those these days, huh? Yeah. Moonshine has been reading to the old folks

at the Cric volunteering. Ain't that something. Beverly has been volunteering at soup kitchens in outer Esri. And hard one even set up the SS stormborn to look like a slay then delivered Glateronica presents to Glateron in a confusing combination of faiths. Sounds about right.

So you guys all are sitting around a cozy fire inside your stupendous stump when suddenly a raven flutters in bearing a note. Oh, well, uh, as the local, as the druid, I want to make sure I keep hardworn away from this animal, less to accidentally kill it. You're a bird. You see, it starts to kind of bounce back. I get a sharp animal on me.

I minor illusion a bigger bird. Oh, hard one. Look at that one. Uh-huh. Bird 2.0 is here. Let's go catch it. Forget this scrawny thing. Well, I just tried to come, give me the note and then flee. You see the Raven looks over Shiftyide at Hard One.

Hop's over, I hands you a little note. Hold its little Raven leg out so you can untie a little note from it and then fall in the way. I untie a note and from it and then find the way. I don't know. Give him a quick petty Fly away Moonshine you read the notes and it says Greetings Paldorf rat dinner lady and rich boy. I

Hope this note finds you well. I sent it like 10 days ago because I cannot afford expedited shipping. We, the Dwarfens of Frostwind, would like to invite you to our celebration of Winter Glow, or as the Frostwind government calls it, mandatory celebration of maximum luminosity a somber festival. The winter glow is very important to our people. On the last day of the old year, when the clock strikes midnight, there is a flare in the plain hour rift that shimmers through the whole sky. It is said that, adoring this time,

the barrier between us and the gods is the weakest, so we make wishes for the new year. The ritual is particularly important to us dwarfins, but we can explain more when you get here, unless you don't come, I understand if you don't, I'm used to being abandoned. Best wishes, Katja.

I don't have a last name, again, I was abandoned. I used to sign all my letters this way as well. Well, tick-tape, but still. Yeah, if a mood sign off. I don't have a last name either, you know. I was in a card. Oh, Belnor. Hey, I'm here.

Let's not forget Old Belnor. Hey, Belnor, I thought Alonus gave you all your memories back. It can maybe you may do no. That's the one thing I just don't remember. He just didn't, when you were re-remembering your life, you didn't peep at the mailbox. Right, yeah. Okay. Do you want us to brainstorm one for you?

No, I think we should get on with it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you want us to brainstorm one for you? No, I think we should get on with it. Yeah, yeah, okay. Hard one. How about taking a sleigh up north, huh? Hey, I'd love to. Anything for these dwarfs. Yeah. So you guys take off in your sleigh ship

and fly towards the city of Frostwind. As you make your way over the ocean, you feel the weather changing. There's a bit of a nip in the air, and you see the first snowflake falling from the sky. I'm cranking up. I try to catch it. Holiday tunes.

I try to catch it in this cup. Bev, go ahead and give me a deck starter, check. Okay. Ooh, that's a 19. Yeah, you catch a snowflake. Yes. Oh, it's very cold. Can I create food and water so that it starts snowing more

and maybe also some gingerbread cookies? Yeah, you start using magic to make gingerbread cookies. But it fall from the sky. You're making gingerbread cookies fall from the sky? Yeah. Complete insanity. They're tearing up the ricking. They're still falling down super hard.

Your ship starts rocking. Oh, the rudder is going to be so cold. We're going down, hard though your ship starts rocking. The rudder is going down man. We're going down. We're going down. Christ these cookies are hardest shit. And it gotta be so you can build with them. So eventually you guys are in a consistent snowfall as you get close to where you know for us to be.

You guys see islands below you of ice as you approach the northern continent. Finally, you can see the Plainar Rift in the sky atop Mount Forge, giving the snow below a purple glow. Can I see this beautiful this time of year? Yeah, it really is. Can you eat purple snow?

I eat some purple snow. I, you think it tastes fine. I think it's fine. Do I have a rash? Yes, but you had it before you had a snow. No more than you should have. Okay, good, good. So you guys have reached, wait, it's going away.

The gash gave me a rash. I got gash, right? Everyone line up for Chapstick right now. So you guys have reached Frostwind, but you came up on it a little sooner than you would have expected. It's night and the city kind of snuck up on you. Normally the city is all lit up and bustling with activity,

and you would expect it to be even more so with this festival happening, but it is very, very quiet, and there are no lights at all in the city. You do not see anyone out on the streets. It is eerily quiet. It would be pitch black if not for the moon and the planar rift reflecting light onto the snow.

So you guys pull into the docks. You see other boats here, but no dwarfs, no bustling city life. All you hear is the crashing of waves and the blow, the winter wind. You guys get the distinct feeling that something ain't right here. Not only from the city, but from inside yourselves, you feel weak as you approach this city. Hard one, you feel less of a connection to your Queen's hammer. Bevin Munchine, you're having a hard time remembering your higher level spells. You have all been D leveled?

Down to level 3. Oh! Here are your new old character sheets. Let me hand them out. No! It's Christmas. How good you! You fucking Grinch! Guess how much I like this.

You just had these right? Oh, whoops, do my character sheet get in the candle? No lid on fire. Guess I'll use my old one. Yeah, lighting the candle lobby was convenient for this episode. Oh, plus two proficiency bonus. I fall in the ocean. You might drown if you jump in the ocean. You guys are not good anymore. Mm.

I feel even weaker than before, and I've had some weak moments. Down our ears are just full of gingerbread. Ow. Get that out of there. At least I'm taller. Okay, I guess I'm gonna do some kind of arcana check to figure out what's going on. Sure, go ahead and roll an arcana check.

It's going to be 10. A 10? Moonshine? Is that Burple Snow? I'm sure of it! Some ain't right. That's all you get with the 10. Crickrats back.

Oh, I want to see. Is hard one back in his human form? No, he's just a weakened normal version of him. Wow, so I am the same height. Just truly like a bean pole, like a very thin Christmas tree. Knock it off, man. It's weird because I feel sick, but I still look the same, but hard one just looks like he lost weight.

Yeah, we all feel and look the same. I don't look worse he lost weight. We all feel and look the same. I don't look worse than anybody else. There's like nothing there. It's so strange. Can I do a check as well? Actually, I want to test my connection to Palore, see if my religion is still working. You know how like religion does. Shoot, that's going to be an 11.

An 11, you feel that it is significantly weakened. Ooh. That you are not as powerful of a paladin as you were. Polar, what's going on? And that's throwing up. Nothing? I don't even hear like some classic carols going on. You hear nothing. Oh my gosh.

Should we head towards the dwarf inage? Yeah, I think so. Uh, so you guys travel to Frostbite, the poppers area of Frostwind and approach the dwarf finish, this large simple warehouse style building. The last time you were here, there were windows boarded up, but that was to patch up the broken glass. You could still see fires burning inside. This time, the windows are completely boarded up,

and you can't see inside at all. And you see the door at the front is this big iron door and it's sealed shut. Do we see anything in the windows? Go ahead and give me a perception check. Another nine. It's going to be a tint. You go up and approach the windows and you would need to like pry it open to be able to see inside. I don't have my mage hand anymore.

I can pry away. I'm going to go up and try to pry the window so I can see inside. Sweet. Hard one. Go ahead and give me a strength check. So that's a seven. Hard one. You start really struggling with the board. Like it's nailed in there, pretty good. You start struggling, and as you're struggling,

you hear this little sliding people, like this little grill thing that's on the iron door, slide open, and you hear a voice go, what are you doing here? We don't have any food. We came for a somber government mandated party Are doing short foot somber door for himself Come in quick quick come in. I can't someone's I think well did this piece of wood onto the oh no

I just nailed it in my very weak little brother Now let me track I'll go ahead and make a strength check 19 They're near let me try go ahead and make a strength check 19 Actually 20 Moonshine you you rip it off please don't not to do that sit this very dangerous, so I'm now put it back Please put it back. You put it back You see Katia work on that on that board very nice

Katia this teenage frost got a good teamwork on that board. Very nice. Katia, this teenaged Frost Dwarf swings the door open. Usher's you guys all in, gives you all a big hug, quickly closes the door. You see this big gymnasium style room lined with bunk beds and a big pyre in the middle of the room burning to keep the morm. You see dozens of little dwarfins crowd around you

as you enter. Tall dwarf, tall dwarf, you're back. You're back to save us. I'm still tall here. What do you need, what do you need saving from? What's going on? You see Katia stands in front of the younger kids and goes, oh, it's terrible.

We've had something very powerful stolen from us and it's become a problem for the whole city. Our first note took so long to get to you. We didn't have time to tell you about it, so we had to find someone else to help us, but he hasn't been very much help. You see rounding the corner is a little gnome. Amir, would you like to describe what your character looks like? Okay, he's 2 foot 11, 3 feet tall in heels, gold teeth, balding, and a vest. Is he wearing heels? He is not. Okay. That's just the paper.

The first one inch heels is what I'm saying. That's the guy you've been, you paid to help you? We said that we needed help. He was the only one who came. Okay. Hi. What's your name, sir? My name is you go

Hi you go any questions for me so many You've been helping out these dwarfs. What you've been helping doing well We're trying to find something and once we do I you go We'll be paid handsomely before I am handsome Is anybody else have any questions for me? He's a bit nervous. You're trying to find something that you'll be. We thought he was like an adventurer,

like about the hunter or something, but he says that he is our agents now. Oh, and manager. And I don't know the difference. Yeah, so basically, sorry, it's rough, but agent helps, you know, set up meetings and stuff in a manager, which I'm also doing.

Okay. One that sort of guides your career going forward. I think he did be helpful. I actually have another question, one just said. Yeah, yeah. If you are acting as both agent and manager, why are you differentiating the two roles? I see what you're saying.

You think there's like a conflict of interest there? Maybe. Trust, well, one second. Trust think there's a conflict of interest there? Maybe. Trust, well, one second. Trust me, I, you go. I'm very honest. Yeah, okay. So I answer all questions truthfully. You've introduced yourself three times.

It's very good then. Let's all agree that he's not your name. He's been picking a perdium. A perdium, before he even earns anything. You sound like a mooch. I'm sorry, you sound like a mooch. You go. I'm a gnome. Now ask what clan of gnome you come from You sound like a mooch. I'm sorry, you sound like a mooch. You go. I'm a gnome.

Can I ask what clan of gnome you come from? That's a great question. And it could be any clan. Correct. So like, where do I ask you? Where do I ask you? My clan. My clan, and it is a clan, is actually the clan clan.

K-L-A-M, the clan. Hey, the clan clan. The clan clan. Correct. I'm sure, right, right, right. You know of the clam clan KLAM the clan the clan clan Craig Okay, right right right you know of the clan clan what made you what what qualifications do you have to protect these dwarfs? Not protect not protect Agent in our man. What do you need an agent or a man? I guess he brokers deal with you I guess catch are you trying to get cast in like a Christmas movie or something? No, it's not a, it's not a talent thing. He just started, he moved in, he's started, he's been living here.

I've noticed that they're weak. Okay, what? Precisely are you mad at me? I think I'm being attacked here. I, you go, don't appreciate it. You're supposed to attack whatever is threatened in the town. Have you done mad? I'm an agent of chaos and a manager of expectations.

They're looking for something that will make them stronger, better, faster, older, wiser. That was just kind of a bug. I mean, they'll get older naturally. That's just time. Tall, very well. This guy's on to something. I'd love to give you 1% of my earnings to join the team.

I need to go in. What is... Alright, so what was stolen from us? That was what I beat. That was an artifact called the ring. Don't get too much detail because then they're going to start snooping around and I don't want them taking my 25% You get 25%? Well I'm also their lawyer.

What? We need giving it to no different titles? They need to find the thing. All right, you can tell them, because I'm that sure that I will find it before they do, but continue. All right, 30%. Perhaps you can work together. The Ring of Good Fortune was stolen from us.

It grants protection to the dwarfs in here. Every year at Winter Glow, we wish upon the Ring to keep our fires hot and our bellies full. We do not have a lot here, but since we've had the ring, no dwarfs have starved and the one is frozen. You see that as she's motioning, like as she's speaking, it does appear that there's something magical about this fire.

Like her hand is just like hitting the fire and not burning her. And you notice as you guys look around that the windows are all boarded up. Like this should be a death trap, but that the room is not filling up with smoke. Like this is some kind of magical fire. And she continues and she goes, the ring of good fortune was given to us by off-car when the legendary heroes visited a few years ago. He said that no one should ever wear the ring, that the ring is for all of us. If we all shared it, it would strengthen us as a collective, but if anyone ever took

it for themselves, it would draw strength from everyone around them and give them a terrible power. I immediately check you as fingers. Go ahead and make an investigation check. I got another 19. 19? You go does not appear to have the ring on him. You've been frisked, you go. I can't believe you guys didn't trust me on you go.

You talk a lot about money and percentages. I've got a little bit of a nose for that. So we fear that whoever has stolen the ring is currently wearing it and siphoning strength from everyone in Frostwind. Worst if this person is to have the ring on at midnight and make a wish, we fear that they will make some terrible wish and this will all become permanent. Got it.

You go, do you have any leads? As of now, you go, yeah. Can't walk us through what you've already asked. You're catching up to speed. Do you got a file or like a wall full of yarn? I, yes, I have a file in a wall full of yarn. True, that is correct. Let me ask you this, Amir.

Sure. Do you think Hugo has actually been investigating this or do you think that he's just been living here for free? In my mind, Hugo is trying to get the percentage up to the point where he can start getting work done. Right now, he's negotiating with the administration. So fully does not know anything. Oh, this is the first time he's hearing about this.

Okay, they're just like, they need you to find another thing. You're like, got it, let's talk, let's talk money. Yeah, tell them, tell them, now it's been mostly start paper work. Yeah. Now that we're, now that we're agreeing that I will be helping you, I can get to work.

Okay, great. All right. And of course, this will be helping you, I can get to work. Okay. Great. All right. And of course this will be strictly on commission for us. Yeah, you guys will split whatever we all find. There's not really any money involved. In the ring? Yeah, because it's pretty priceless to these, sorry, but fucking dwarfs.

Is that safe to say? Oh, if you took the time, I'm just like, sorry. Why didn't you take the time you omitted the fucking? I was gonna say something much worse. You go as eating corn. Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. Everybody, I'm here. Go ahead and roll. Yeah, roll D20.

All right. Is this your first roll? First roll. First roll, baby. Seven. Seventeen. Eight baby. Seven. 17. 18. 11. So you guys all hear the sound of an engine revving, moonshine and Bev. You guys also hear the distant shouts of rowdy teens. No nasty lads. Am I going to have to face

rust at a level three? I kind of like putting that kid in this place. Is it those graveyard kids again? That's what I'm wondering. Or not not Russ, what's the kid's name? Rodion. Rodion. Rodion.

Rodion. Rodion at a level three. You go, what do you know of Rodion? Not much yet. But I'm able to ascertain that he doesn't sound like a very good man. I got an important question. Where were you keeping the ring a good fortune? Me? I wasn't keeping it at all.

Yeah, you go. Why don't you go somewhere else? Sorry. Of course. I am three foot one. Continue. Why did you just lie? He just slipped into two and she'll do it. His height changes every day.

Wait, you go. You stole those boots from a child. Those are child's boots. I'm a woman's too. You go style. That's with the side of corn. He keeps stealing things from us and saying, you go style.

But the yarn for your board is just someone's unraveled sweater. This is cruel. Maybe so. Maybe he's just like one gold little door fence. Is that your nest in the corner? We just had to give him a bet. He tried to fight one of us and lost. You go style.

You know, despite it all, when he says that, I root for him. It's because I'm small. You see it. You see Katia goes, I had it in the chest under my bed. Okay, I would like to send Papa to go sniff around the chest because we met a bunch of people on Frostwind and he's got that keen scent.

Okay, by the way, save your 5%, we already have a lawyer. Yeah, that's true, this is a real lawyer. Who? I gesture to a possum. Rain, rain, rain. That's not great, there's no more of a lawyer than say me. You go.

Can I have Pau Pau like draft up a contract quicker than you go? Can we do a lawyer off? Let's do a lawyer off. You go, go ahead and make a, let's just say wisdom check. So just roll Roddy 20. 16. You see, you go goes toeto-toe with Paw Paw,

drafting up an agreement. You go, I'm sorry, I doubted you, and I'm really sorry about that. Wow, you go cash for that. Everybody use a backgast. It's almost, I give him cash. He's so opportunistic. A crisp $50 bill.

Wow, awesome. Go ahead and give an investigator a perception check for Papa as he gets advantage when he is sniffing. 16. Papa runs over to the little chest that was holding the ring, sniff set, scrambles back to you. Me, me, me, sniffed it, scrambles back to you. Rainier.

Me, me, me, me, me. He tells you that he smelled Katia. Mm-hmm. Some other kids from the dwarf image. Okay. That all came from Sam. And some of the nasty lads. Smells like, smells like teen spirit.

Smells like teen spirit. All right. Yes, we're headed to the graveyard. Uh, you go, uh, do you go, do you have like anything that, this might get rough. I'm curious if you have any fighting prowess. It's a good question. I have 15 intelligence.

That's great. It's not strong enough for you, lunch. Okay, now. All right, I put him in a headlock. Yeah, I don't think you can find it. You go out the week back. Just stay in the back is all the way. You go style indeed.

He might make a worthy sacrifice. He should come with us. Alright, before we go, I made these sweaters for all of you, but it looks like maybe the dwarfins could use them a little more. Aw, yeah, that's nice. I pull out some custom sweaters. I made for moonshine and pop-up and balnor, and hard ones is actually a crop top,

so it fits extremely well to one of the dwarfins. Oh, this is perfect. I make it range in your bread cookies again. Oh, careful. Sheldon under your beds! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! They will pierce the skin! Ow! Ow! Ow! They your bed. Ow. Ow. They will pierce the skin. Ow.

They are sharp. They are dense. They're very painful. All right. Yeah, let's, let's, uh, mosey on outside. Right. So you guys go outside, um, and you hear, uh, this engine that you were hearing, um, is much louder.

Um, you see that there are three nasty dwarf teenagers messing around in the abandoned streets. Two of them are holding up a D animated iron dwarf, this broken automaton robot while another one driving a snowmobile. Rides added holding a club. The one on the snowmobile smacks the iron dwarf in the head with the club as it rides by knocking its head clean off. Ha, hell yeah man! Destruction, cool as hell!

Break it down, suck it! I do agree with that. Then it is a kind of chill. Hey! Hey kiddos! You see they all snap their heads turning towards you and The dude on the snowmobile from rr rr rr. Turns it towards you. Oh Hey, what's up nerds? What's up dwarfins? Happy winter glow to you all. Yeah, shut up kid. What up fam?

What are you? You go? You're the weird old guy that lives at this orphanage. What the hell are you talking about? No, I'm Hugo. I'm the cool, tallish guy who's been hanging out. Tallish. You tried the other even two. We're compared to these little guys.

They still tried to come live at the graveyard with us to wait till then the piss off. You wanted to be our agent? You said they would live outside, man. We're living in an agent for? Where did you get a snowmobile? The guy that's from the freaking guards, man, I stole it.

We can't get everyone's ass now. Now, I mean, I guess I don't really support the guards and they are kind of authoritarian state, but like that's stealing. And on winter glow of all days. Yeah, winter glow, man. Also, what makes you so much stronger than the guards these days?

Yeah. Well, see see everyone's power got sucked away but we don't really have any powers now we just kick ass. Ah so that's kind of a beautiful story. Yeah yeah. Can I check all their fingers? What? I will see if they have rings. Yeah. As you go walk up towards them two of them pull out daggers and the one dude that's on the snowmobile holds up his glove and he goes, whoa, whoa, not another step forward, okay?

This is our city now. Right, yeah, yeah, I just came because I wanted y'all to show me those fun teen hand gestures you all do. Yeah, suck it, how do you do suck it? Yeah, can I see that? You put a, like, what is it? It's an action.

Go ahead and give me a exception check Nine you don't actually have any interest in knowing about degeneration X You're lying to me and I'm offended What you think I'm not interested in it I'm curious how you frame your crotch so perfectly with an X fuck you man. All right. That's enough you go get them Yeah, we throw you go, I just... Wow! Wow!

Yes! You bury them with paperwork, you go. My best! My best! Bastards! All right, all right. I'm just gonna come. I'm gonna come clean.

We are looking for that ring. Go ahead and give me an insight check. Shout out to the two crew. Uh, you see they look at each other and turn back to you and go. Ring. Don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man. Nah, I believe him. It's like a donut for your finger. Anyway, it pizza out.

Well, did the peace side. Did I see a ring on his fingers? He's gone. All right, fuck it I'm running to keep up with them and I'm cast and locate object so on the ring Mm-hmm, okay if it's within a thousand feet of me and it or if it's in motion I know the direction of its movement. I know the The direction of the objects location You see this dude basically left two of his friends in the dust. Hey, fucking way, dumb man.

They're running after the snowmobile. You can't keep up with the snowmobile. Snowmobile fully gets away. But it wouldn't be a thousand feet away from me. He does not have the ring on him. You do locate object. You do not find the ring. I guess we beat up the two remaining teens.

Yeah. Everybody go and roll initiative. There's my fucking knack 20. There it is. What a bullshit to waste it on. Shout out to the two crew. What did you go get? Tell us you go. You grow old in 18, but I'm also down to get brunch.

Get to know, get to know. I don't know if you guys have eaten today at all. We had a lot of very stale gingerbread. I got a 13. You had that, so you had a 22. Oh, even better. Whoa, goodness. You go still eating corn.

You go. You are first. So you have, the weapons you have on you, you have a rapier, which is a sword, and you also have a short bow. The dude on the snowmobile is still in range to shoot with the short bow, and these two other dudes that are on foot have drawn daggers. You also seem to be wearing very sharp

stilettos. I'm three foot four now, yes. Why did you see short bow? What's such an emphasis on short? You go to appreciate that. He'll be using the sword then. Sweet. So you want to just go after one of the dudes that's not on the snowmobile? That's right. I'm going after one of the dudes that's not on the snowmobile.

So you actually, as a rogue, the path that you have, you can roll 2D20s and you pick the higher one as you attack. You could roll. Because you're catching them off guard because you're acting before them. That's right, a shifty little Ugo. 23.

23, sweet. You super hit, so you roll with sneak attack, you roll a D8 and 2D6s. Oh, this is so cute. Now let's get this. Jake, this is what you roll. You roll well. 12 plus 4, so 16.

Nice. You go, we have a saying on that. It's finished him. Describe how you kill this. No, you can also just knock him out if you want. It's winter clothes. So I have a sword, right? Yeah.

So I sort of stab him through the nostril. You have some sort of kabob. And then I stare at everybody else, being like, you guys really want to fuck with me now. You guys thought I was a nobody. You guys say Hugo stabs a rapier through this frost-warfs nose, and then just pulls out kabob part of his brain.

Yeah, man. Anyone can kill a dwarf in. What? She's a teenage dwarf man God Yeah, we tend to just concuss the teenager The moonshine that's your turn how far away is the snowman bill I'll say it's about 80 feet away now 80 feet away then I am going to you go doesn't have any cards You go to play split all of it.

You just gotta bloodthirst, apparently. You go as kind of a maniac. I mean, you're strangely efficient at what you're doing, but stop please. Oh, you go. You can also as a bonus action. So basically, at the end of your turn, you can roll to hide so that nobody can attack you now.

Would you like to do that? Yes, I would like that. Okay, go ahead and roll at D20. Okay. He's so capable, I hate this. I'm a slippery little Ugo. So it'll be 11 plus your stealth, which I think is eight.

Great, 19. So you got a 19, so you just see Ugo disappears into the snow. Bye for now. All that's left is this ear of cord. Oops. I pick it up and drag it down into the snow with me. It was absolutely finished.

I'm going to run within range of the snowmobile and then cast heat metal on it. Nice. So that the little thing has to bail. Okay, sweet. You cause the object to glow red hot. Any creature in physical contact with the object takes 2D8 fire damage when you cast a spell until the spell ends. You can use a bonus action on each of your subsequent turns

to do the damage again. Okay, go ahead and roll your 2D8 of damage. 11. Moonshine finished him. Okay, what I would like to do is I would like to like, like heat it in a way that he like accidentally, like that he like falls over in a way that ankles the snowmobile towards me.

Sweet. So that then I can jump on like knock him out, throw him over my back and now I'm riding the snowmobile. That's what I'm all about. He insane. Go ahead and make an arcana check. An arcana check? Yeah, so you have like, well well you're able to use a spell

five five oof which I knew you heat this snowmobile he goes oh my ass it's so fucking hot it's burning me it's fucking burning me you see it's all steaming up crash is super hard into a brick wall and just brained himself on the wall and just rolls off oh I'm so hurt I'm pretty sure that was just a concussion and that I didn't kill him. I'm so hurt. Oh, he is still alive, but I said finishing. This is bad karma.

Don't worry, I'll come heal you, okay? Winter glow, right? That is best turn. All right, I guess is the, there's just one left. Is the one that you go brained still alive? No. Even if I touch hands then? No.

Okay. Then I guess I rush over to the one on the snowmobile. Okay. And I'll try and heal them. Okay, sweet. And then I guess as a, I guess that's my action. So yeah, I'll try to do lay hands. Okay, so how much of your, you only have like 10 now.

Oh gosh. One level three, so you have 15. Okay. I'll give them five just to stabilize them. Sweet. You heal them up and he just like kind of hurts. I Don't think you're correct at all, but I'm sorry about this Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Uh-huh. That is that is the joy you check us fingers. He does not have a ring on him That is the dwarfs turn

That one is going to try to stab you Beverly with a dagger. Oh, come on. That is a 19-hit. Oh, shoot. That does it now. Maybe you were right, you go style. Five damage to you, Bev. Where is he? I don't know, the snowbank is talking to me. Gets onto the snowmobile. Other drawer runs up. Tries to stab you with a dagger. Natural three misses. Hops onto the back of the snowmobile. Snowmobile is broken if it ran into a brick wall.

I'm going to roll a raw luck check to see how well the snowmobile is holding up. I'll roll it in front of hard one here so you can keep me honest. The higher the better for these guys. That's a 15 on the line. I'm gonna say it's sputtering and fucked up. It is slowed down. It is at half speed, but these guys are able to ride away for 60 feet. That is hard one's turn.

Who's near me, Adorth? One is dead. Two of them are on the snowmobile together riding away. Can I throw a throwing axe at some vital part of the snowmobile? Yeah, just try to get at the snowmobile. Go ahead. Thank you, hard one. It's only a 12. That misses.

You just throw it way overhead. I have a second attack, right? No. I don't have two attacks. You don't that is Balnor Stern Balnor is gonna throw a javelin. I'm aiming for a leg, but I can't promise anything Balnor misses just way over throws the javelin that is you go start Focke I've been out Save us you go The only one that's been able to do anything.

You have a bow. You can shoot them with a bow. Ask me nicely, bitch. Can I punch you, go. All right, what do I roll? Just D20. All right. One.

You go. Shoot some self in the foot. Oh, oh no, right there. Heal. Mochana, that's your turn. All right, heat metal is within 60 feet. So I run even closer to it and bonus action. They're thinking still hot, right? OK, so bonus action they each take 2D8.

That's Jesus. That's going to be 10. Yeah, give me a hot ass. Once again, they both fall off of the snowmobile and it crashes into a wall. They both just don't come. I do another arcada check to try to steer it in my direction.

13. 13. You, it starts to turn. It just capsizes and rolls over and is vaguely pointed in your direction. These kids are both knocked out. She guys are out of combat. Let's go scoop up them, young and...

Yeah, this was humiliating. You go... Yes. I knew you'd ask me something. Like it's my fault. What, no, actually I'm seeking your counsel, your lawyer, right? Yes, but I charge six percent now

You want me to pick these young ins pockets and give you six percent what I find you get such a high percentage And you sleep in it's a band and build it these kids pockets. Yeah, what's in there a Lot of gold. Oh, what they each have like 90 gold on them. And like, yes, just random jewels and shit. I thought it was gonna be like dental floss. Do they have any corn on them? They don't have any corn on them. I'm sorry, we can't give you 6% then I don't have any corn.

Well, I'll take the gold then. All right, I guess the deal's a deal. I give them 6% of that gold. Hell yeah. So I made $75 off this lady. I feel bad about this. They have a suspicious amount of money on them. Yeah you go okay I was gonna ask you if we thought we should just kill these teens but

let's just take this snowmobile to the graveyard where they hang out. Can we wake one of these fuckers up and ask them where they got the gold? Let's hog time, wake them up. Okay you hog tie the nasty lads, you wake them up, you see one of them wakes up and goes oh fuck you kicked my ass man, you made my snowmobile hot. This one killed our friend. You got damn right, I made it hot. No, she hot. You get that you unceremoniously murdered their front And then hidden a snowboard all the time in the world that turned his life around Yeah, can you tell us a little bit about the young and that you go off? In a nicer remembrance. Yeah, well he was rad as hell

He basically would go around and usually dwarfs have a soft spot for other dwarfs He didn't he would like kick smaller kids and take their stuff That was like one of his favorite things was just like hey if there's dwarfs in the dwarven industry sleeping Let's go kick in the door and kick some kids while they sleep so look you go you got lucky You go is rich you go is Intuitive and you go is rich, you go is intuitive, and you go is justice. We're teaching you about you goes only being like validated by everything. You go feels three foot seven now. He's on top of the world.

He did change shoes again. I'm standing on a four years of car. Where did you get those fuck me boots you go? Oh, he robbed that store. I see now. That's right. You go boss. Yeah You goes full name is you go boss You go boss clam Bound are would you like either of those to be your last name? No, okay, just check in all right all right youngins take us to the ring Take us to the ring. We know you have the ring take us to the ring

Um, y'all have too much money on you. No, this is normal amount of money first to have Telling you shit I Slap them. Oh, go ahead making it to be check with advantage That's 20 minutes yeah check with advantage. Yeah. Yeah. Woo! Um, as soon as he gets slapped, oh, uh, you hear him fart and shit himself. Don't slap me, oh! Okay, look, we don't have the ring.

Ruskack has the ring, okay? And, uh, you guys remember, Ruskack was the, like, head of the nasty lad who wore that, like, all that bone armor that he stole from the mausoleum. And he was like a little punk. This kid continues and he goes, we snuck into the doorfinage and Russ Gack took the ring

and he said that he was going to wish at midnight for everyone else to be super weak so that we would be the strongest and also ring is making Russkack super strong. We live in the castle now, dude So Russkack is in the castle. Russkack is the freaking king dude. I got a rules. He's a legend man You are making a mistake investing in this guy. You know, he's just gonna wish for himself to be strong and y'all gonna be in the dust Y'all are gonna be working for him. But we get to ride the violin on snowmobiles. Yeah, it rules. Okay, all right.

You really want it. Your buddy just got murdered by my buddy. Yeah. You go style. By the way, if she ever hurt you, I can represent you against her. That was a salt. I actually, yeah. I would appreciate that.

And who's gonna represent you in your murder trial? Oh, very coy, very cunning. All right, trials off. That's a mistrial. I would, Ranch, we'll talk about it later. I would like you to defend me against yourself. I would like to charge you with the murder of my friend. No, no, no, forget I said anything.

I really think you guys should settle. Ragnarok, was it? Me? The king? The king? Ruskets. Sorry, I'm just trying to parse all these clues together. What clues do you need?

It's the one. Everything's been solved. It stopped talking. Let's go see this guy. I'm feeling he's got the ring. We were told it was a pretty young ring. Yeah feeling he's got the ring. We were told Yeah, it's not a feeling it's a confirmation. All right, follow me I guess I fall in line. I'm going to make a raw intelligence check all right

You those competences infectious should be close to okay,, so 12. 12, you guys see, Hugo starts heading vaguely in the direction of the castle, like taking the long way, but he is going in the right direction. Hey, boss. Yes. Actually, I know a shortcut if you wanna not waste time. It seems like a long way to walk in those heels It on hurt as much as they think you think they do

Let's do the short right blue. Yeah, so there was that way before I put the heels on Let's take the shortcut. All right, yeah sure So you guys sneak through the city patting lightly through the snow. You see several more Deanimated iron dwarves as you travel you can assume that once Russ Gack had this ring It like sucked all the arcane power out of the city So these automaton are no longer operational. I mean that's kind of a good thing, right? Yeah, they were pretty bad. They were kind of a police state. Yeah Can I do an arcana check to see if we can instill them with power and make them our friend?

Sure. That's going to be a 18. You have enough arcane knowledge to know that you do not have enough arcane knowledge to do that. You would need to be like an arch wizard to make a robot. I whisper, kill you go. And nothing happens. Yeah, they're broken.

They're totally broken. Weird. I thought maybe I could put like a first level spell in it. And then we're like, you know, let's become my friend. So the same. We've already made one good friend today. Why would we ever need more?

Right, you go. Who? Oh, right. Yeah, totally. Hugo. Hu-Thau. Hu-Thau. Let you go. I'm always going to use that. That's the billboard for his law office. Who goes the boss? So the city is still extremely quiet until you reach the cold iron keep. You once again hear the sound of some kind of vehicle going through the snow and you hear many nasty teens goofing around. You guys sneak up, you see that the castle is surrounded by a tall iron fence, but the gate has been broken and hangs open.

In the castle courtyard, there is a mural to the three original Dwarven Kings, but you see that this has been vandalized. There are around 16s, messing around in the courtyard here, as well as one riding around on a snow plow. Just like ramming it into the mural. This is fun, the insect religious. As far as the castle itself, it's two stories tall, but the first story is very tall. The first story looks like a gothic castle built of black stone and iron. There are spires shooting out of the tops of the guard towers with busts of dwarven kings and big stained glass windows. You see the castle narrows as it gets up to the second story, which is an all-glass room with thick pains that connect windows in an octagonal shape. It basically looks like a big lantern.

So you guys can think of the castle like a square with a guard tower at each of its four corners and little walkways between them. You can see teens on the walkways up there. Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks. I'll tell you how much you see. Good Lord, six. 13. 11.

19 plus something. Nice, just 19 for your, because you don't have plus to waste a mental thing. You guys run in the show. You go, you look up and you see that in these guard towers, they have these big ballistas, essentially these giant crossbows, and you see that at each of the two towers

at the front of the castle, there are two teens manning them. And you see throughout the walkways between the second story towers, you see kids walking around with like rock slings. What do you see, Hugo? Well, it's not good for you guys. It's a series of security figures, teenagers, crossbows, slings, the full nine. There's nine, there's 19s? No, not 19s. The whole nine yards is what I met. The walkways, it looks longer than nine yards. Yeah, like I said, these are all

tur- who is this kid? So yeah, so you go see these ballistas up in the towers and you guys see about a dozen teens between the ones that are up on the walkway and in the towers and out front here. Okay, then maybe we just split up two of us go to one tower, two of us to go to the other. We hopefully take the towers in the walkway and then can rain down fire upon these ones around the snowmobile after. So I think the goal that would be my goal. I like that goal. I'll go with you go. Okay, you go. Me and this blind buffoon will go first. Blind buffoon. Wish me luck. I mean you saw your perception. Sorry. I shouldn't get into it. He

couldn't see anything on the towers. You guys have to rely on me. I obviously have better eyes. You stole binoculars from that store. You're also wearing a platform shoes. All right, let's go. Okay. So you guys are splitting up two and two to both towers? Yeah.

Sweet. So you guys are basically going to try to like scale the wall and get up to the towers. Can we get over to the towers without the teens and the yard seeing us? So we're going to be able to do stealth checkers. Okay. without the teens and the yard seeing us? We're gonna be home. You'll need to do stealth check, yeah. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you

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sneaking through the courtyard, trying to have the teens not catch them. Let's have you guys roll your stealth checks first. Very, very quiet, you go. 12, I got a nine. Okay, these teens do not have good passive perception. You guys successfully get by the ones that are in the courtyard. I guess there is a snow plow going off, so.

Yeah, it's just super loud, super rowdy teens. I'm gonna roll. Oh, while I'm still thinking I'm going to the symbiotic entity. Nice. Okay, Munchan goes into symbiotic entity. I look like a mushroom woman now. Got it. I'm going to go into now.

I'm going to roll two pure luck checks. Tenor higher, they are the teens in your tower are paying attention. And that means they'll do a perception check to actually look for you instead of it just being passive. So I'm gonna roll in front of you, Jake. Nine, that one is not paying attention. You see one of the ones up by the ballista just keeps talking to the other one.

Yeah, man, she was super hot. Do we were like, hangin' down stuff, it was pretty cool. I'm listening very intently. Ha ha ha ha. The other one gets an 18. So he is diligent, shut up dude. We have a job to do. Protect, rust-skack, rustskack rules.

He's gonna go ahead and make a perception check to try to see you guys. The lower one was you hard one, you got a nine. That is a natural five, he does not see you. So you guys get up to the tower. I turn sideways, I'm very thin. Guys, go ahead and give me athletics checks to or acrobatics for for Hugo if you would like.

How do my way, Hugo, watch this. That's so goddamnit, that's a nine. A nine? Seven. Okay, he did roll a natural one. Oh my God, he rolled a natural one. Okay, you guys both need to roll new stealth checks because you guys are making noise as you climb up the tower.

You can not do it. The first little shit that is a, that's an 11, 18. Okay, you guys break off a few bricks as you're climbing but the dude above you guys does not see, and he seems to be the only one that is paying attention. You guys begin climbing up the towers. Bevin Moonshine, you guys are going to the other one.

You guys go ahead and give me stealth checks. I will tell you right now, these guys have a passive perception of eight. So you gotta beat an eight. Okay. Oh god. Uh oh. I got a seven. Seven.

I got an 18. All right, fuck it. Can I wild shape into a bird? Not yet. You're gonna have to roll initiative. So you go and hard one as you guys are climbing up the towers. You see moonshine and Bev make a break for it and start running for their tower. And you see one of the teens looks over and sees them

And goes oh we got fucking company here man You see the snow plow back up and goes That's the kid making that noise. Yeah, man fucking boom boom boom boom Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. You don't have to make noise 23 17 8 so one, you are first. Nobody has seen you yet. Am I up on top of the tower? I'm not still climbing. You have not made it all the way to the top of the tower. I will say if you would like to use your movement, you can get to the top of the tower. I'm going to try to get to the top of the tower and throw one of the kids off. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and make an athletics check. I'll say 15 or higher, you can make it up there with your movement. We're killing on Christmas. That's a 25. Jesus, yeah, you scramble up to the top of the tower. You see two kids up there at this ballista.

They are looking forward, they do not see you right now. I'm gonna, can I drop drop kick them both off the tower? I will say you can make an attack with disadvantage if you do that fucking hell. Yeah, okay Roll two pick the lower one if you hit their ACL allow it 14 they do not have high armor class Over double dropkick. Oh, the fuck no, it's so fucking high up in there. Suck it. You see these two dwarves fly off the tower

and just crash into the snow with a sickening crunch. You go top meet a kill teenagers. Whoa, not like that. Fucking animal. I recorded that, I have that on record. Oh no, not me swearing. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Animal I recorded that I have that on record. Oh, no not me swearing High alert everywhere the dwarves are all freaking out the one in the snow mobile is going to ride at you moonshine

Moonshine I'm gonna need you to give me a dexterity saving throw. Okay, but if you got that thing plus four or is that you have no idea. We are out in the cold 18 bitch 18. Um, moonshine this one teen riding the snowmobile rides at you puts the shovel down tries to scoop you you roll out of the way. Um, there are there are five more down here. Um, three of them are gonna go after you moons Moon Shine and two of them are gonna go after Bev. One of them hits you, Moon Shine for five. And then the other two kids go after you, Bev. One of them hits for three. Cool. There are four up top on like the walkways. The four in the one walkway are gonna run over to the ballista that hard one is at and take some swings at him. First one hits, second one misses, third one misses,

fourth one gets a 15 hit. My AC is 16 right now, maybe. That is three damage, hard one. Then the ones up in the tower are gonna shoot a ballista down at, we'll say Bev because the snow plows going after moonshine. That's an at one. They fucking full on break the ballista. They all fuck dude, this looks so expensive shit on me man, fuck. You gotta read the manual. Bev that is your turn.

Oh cool, I'm near the, it's a plow, right? Yep. Can I just run up the plow and try and launch myself into the cockpit to stab the person in there? They have three quarters cover, so it's gonna be a little hard to hit them, but they don't have good AC. Oh, comment dear!

I'm starting to tap into them. Comment dear, this is no mobile! Yeah, we gotta clean up these streets. Uh, 19 to hit. And 19 does hit. Woo! Go ahead and roll your damage. Yeah, we got to clean up these streets 19 to hit a 19 does hit whoo go ahead and roll your damage 10 damage you stab into it you incapacitate this kid snow plow just keeps like rolling forward as he rolls over on the wheel I guess guess gonna try and get in there. Sure. Yeah, go ahead and give me an acrobatic check. Oh, that's gonna be a six.

Sweet, you try to scramble into the helm. You can't do it all in one turn, but you are getting into position for next turn. Cool. That is Hugo's turn. Hugo, you are climbing this tower, chaos all around you. All right, I continue climbing up the tower. Sweet, go ahead and make an acrobatic check.

Oh, okay. Can I lower my hand and try to help him up? Sure, yeah allow this Go ahead and roll with advantage roll two and pick the higher one Gum you go 22 sweets You scramble up hard one reaches his hand down you take it and he pulls you up You see that there are four dudes up here stabbing at hard one with daggers holy shit I didn't need your help thank you I'm gonna attack one of these guys I don't know I felt I feel kind of bad about the braining the other day it was two minutes ago my whole sense of time is all

warped because of the the braining okay Okay, I just killed two of these fuckers. Really? Yeah, holy shit, you're worse than me. Okay, I'm gonna try to defeat a few other teens. Sweet sake of the team. Sweet. I'm gonna try it. Yeah.

So you, you don't get to roll with advantage, it's time you just roll regular. Okay, and again, let me know about brunch. I'm starving. You've had so much corn already. 16. You super hit. Go ahead and roll 2d6s and a d8.

15. So we have a cleave rule, which means that if you do enough damage to one, you can go into another one so you can kebab three of them. I guess you can say I'm hungry for kebab. I kebab three of them. I guess you could say I'm hungry for kebab. I kebab three of them. You see Hugo stabs three of them. Through the nostril? No, sir.

Extending hide order. And Hugo takes the lead again. Four teens to two brothers. You have to be honest with you. I don't think I've ever killed anyone before. I've got a freaking out hard one. I never told you about it yet. I'm one of a shister in a murderer.

Never. Would you like to hide or anything you go? Yes, please. Okay, roll the stealth check. I don't do that. Just do 20. 26. So you just disappear.

It's again. Commit murder and there is. You go with it. It's easy. I'll just do 20 26 they just disappears again Commit murder and disappears you go it gets easy. We're Jesus You've ended me. I'm shiny All right moonshine that is your turn you see Bev is working on getting the snowplow And then there are five other dudes down here. Yeah, so they were all up and we're all scrunched together So I'm going for the middle one and I'm an ice knife, which means every creature within five feet of him, which is gonna be all the other four.

Well, I'm gonna make a range attack, whether I hit or miss, everyone's gonna take two D6 cold damage. Geez, do they make any kind of roll, deck save or something? Yes, they do, they make a deck saves or take two D6. So I'm going to, I'm kind of fucking miss. I'm not gonna hit him.

Fails all around though. Yeah. Everyone takes three cold damage. Why am I rolling like dog shit? I'm fucking him never getting leveled down ever again. Dare you, Murr. And then I'm gonna spore one of them for six more. Geez.

Yeah, moonshine, you do your ice knife, you take three of them down to two HP, your spores will allow the cleaver roll, you take another three of them out. Yes. There's one left. I may nest my turn. And that is Balnor's turn.

Balnor runs up, you nasty lad. Shoot him. He's gonna run up and Balnor hits. They're playing Grab ass Boundore Everybody knock it off Boundore hits one with the butt of his sword and knocks him out They're 1000 uncrick missed Boundore the ones down here The one's not gonna bug make me look bad the ones down here are all knocked out

That is back up to hard one hard one you see that there are two still up here on the ballista at like the right tower, and then you see there are two towers in the back of the castle. One of them is abandoned, and one of them has two dudes on it, and you see like four more dudes running down the pathway trying to get to you guys. Got it.

So the closest folks to me are the ones running towards us. Actually, go ahead and give me a perception check as well. 14. You're a little bit distracted by all the kind of chaos around you, but you do see that now that you're up in this tower, you have a better view of the second floor here, and all of this glass, and you can see that this looks to be some kind of King's quarters or something, like somewhere where somebody would sleep,

and you see that there is somebody sitting in a chair facing away, like looking towards the rift in the material plane. Can I jump on, can I jump through it? Try to jump through the glass? Yeah, go ahead and give me a strength check. That's our boy. Sweet. Later you go, shout out to the two crew. Oh. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and give me a strength check That's our boy sweet

Later you go shout out to the two crew I don't have any luck points I wish this is so sad. I missed pop-paws help actions hard one you rush forward Try to action movie jump through the window And take one damage and just face plan on it and just bounce back and fall prone onto the tower. Oh fuck me! I'll say that's your movement, but you can still make an attack if you'd like. Oh sick, so I'm, but I'm down by the glass now. You're like up in the tower and then the glass is like, I level with you now.

Great, I'll swing my axe at the glass. Sweet. Got to test the shoulder first. 13 to hit. 13 is not good enough to hit to do damage to it. You would assume that this would be pretty hard to break. This is the King's quarters after all. That is the Dwarves turn.

You see the two that broke, the Ball ballista are just going to pull out rocks slings and try to throw rocks down at, I guess, Bev, as he's trying to climb into the snow plow. One hits and the other one crits. Cool. Let's go. Good job. The one who crits does a big seven damage.

Not going to be one, too low. And the other one does four damage. So 11 damage total. You start getting belted with rocks. Cut it out as you go in. These damn teens. It's supposed to be a damn piece. Yeah. Mandatory piece. You know how that works. All is calm, all is bright. By the law. And then, um, hard one you saw that there were some on the walkway, like running towards you from the back towers. They are going to approach you and I'll take cracks at you, so they're for them. First one misses, second one misses, third one hits, fourth one misses, total of four

damage. Sweet. That is, Bev's turn. Okay. I guess I'll try and go ahead and get into the Snowplow. Sweet. Yeah, baby. All right. Do I need to make a roll for that?

Nope, you're in the Snowplow. Can I get a sense of the controls? Go ahead and give me an intelligence check. That's an eight. And an eight. I feel like Bev would have ridden a Snowplow before. It is pretty easy for you to get the accelerator going and moving.

You don't know quite how to use the shovel as a weapon or how to use anything. But you're riding around, yeah. I'm going to try and ram the snow plow into the tower to try and make it crumble. Oh, okay, sweet. Oh, that's a good idea. Go ahead and make an attack roll for the plow.

And I will apply its stuff. Plow, plow, plow. roll for the plow. All right, and I will apply its stuff. Plow, plow, plow. Come on, plow. Oh, Pellor, grant this plow your holy light so that it may mess up some teens real bad. That's a seven, plus five, 12. Okay, so you got a 12. Okay, so they are going to do a DC 12 decks check.

You go and hard one also have to do this. Uh oh. Sorry, hard one, you go good. Yeah, 16. I rolled in 11. Hard one, you and two of the dudes fall off the tower into the soft, soft snow. Yay.

Hard one, you take 10 damage as you hit the ground hard. Oh! And two of these teens go down. Bev, you feel hard one, just crash into the top of this snow plow that you're driving. Sorry, buddy. It's all good as long as we kill two teenagers. We gotta work on your reasoning.

You go, that's your turn. You've got to work on your reasoning. Hugo, that's your turn. You've got two dudes up here with you. All right. Time to hurt them. Something is standing for her. So just roll a D20 and then you roll a D8 if you hit. Woo. 18?

Yep. 24 times. You go rolling wet. So just roll a D8. He wasn't kidding about Hugo's style. Oh, but Hugo's style. It's back. Six. Six?

Okay, you take another one down. There is just one up here with you. Would you like to hide? Yes, please. I got it in the oldie tummy. Gallard. I'm a slippery man. Hugo says, bye-bye.

How can we not see him? His vest is so bright. Yeah, 17. Sweet. Hugo hides pretty well. Moonshan, that's your turn. Oh, his blood is blending bright. Yeah, 17. Sweet, you go hides pretty well. Moonshine, that's your turn. Oh, his blood is blending in with the vest. Can I get up to the tower?

I'd go ahead and make an athletics check. 17. 17, Moonshine, I'll say it's gonna take your action and your movements to get to the top. Okay, but can I get at least within 60 feet? Certainly, yeah. All right, then I'm just gonna thorn with one of those little get to the top. Okay, but can I get at least within 60 feet? Certainly, yeah. All right, then I'm just gonna thorn whip one of those little bitches in the room.

Oh God, okay. One of the ones up by the ballista, the broken ballista that's slinging rocks. The zzzzzzzz, 12-hit. A 12-duz hit. Yeah, that's one. You whip him out, he's gone. He flies off the tower.

Oh no! Do you have to hit him somewhere? I suppose I'm on the way down just to make sure he's dead You go tell me this she's Christ you guys this is getting way out of control I thought we would just like steal some coins and now I've killed you got us like 15 people This is bound or sterni pulls out a javelin. I got him you go. Oh, no, no Watch out throws the one that's here. You go style. You go style, Bel Dor.

No, I'm not a murderer. You got it too. Whip's past, you go ahead. Jesus Christ. You go, what have you done to my friends? That's back up to Hard One, Stern. Where am I? I've fallen from the town.

You're like on top of the snow plow with Bev. Oh, shit. I could have also, if I'm, I could have also if I'm I could have also bonus word healing healing word Heart one. Yeah might as well might as well. Thank you It's gonna be a nine Awesome, I love that. Thank you very much sweet. I'm hard one You still see two that are up on like the second level one is up in the tower, and one is up in the other tower with you go.

Got it. Help me. You're bad at hiding, you go. You're by. I'll throw my, I can't get there in this, in this journey. You can throw a javelin. Yeah, I'm gonna try, I don't think I have a javelin at this point, but I have a throwing ax.

I toss him one. I throw an ax to find, same thing. Yeah, I'll throw, I'm gonna throw a throwing ax of that guy. That's 20. Woo! My curse doesn't apply in this. No, it's not.

That is really funny that you've been rolling in the oven. You can't not, you can't not destroy him. You, uh, ax flies up, hits him in the chest, uh, and pales him through the nostril. It pales him through the nostril. You go. Flies fly off of the tower. Do not wank at me.

That's liability. And you go, Stau. We go down for these war crimes together, you go. We are finding the nearest confession booth after this. And we're all cramming in there. We go shower me the lat. He is going to run. He just takes off running away. Moonshot, don't go towards Hugo. He's not going to take an opportunity attack from Hugo.

I know, he's on the other tower. He was slinging rocks at people. Don't worry, Hugo, I got him. Please do not hurt him. That's my best turn. That's my nephew. You do look like someone's uncle. I'm two foot ten.

Do I see you? You were in love. You took the heel off of your posture. You took the heel off of your posture. So there's so many shoes. Is the door to the base level of the castle open? Yeah. I want to drive the plow inside.

Sweet, as you enter, go ahead and make an intimidation, Jack. Oh, that's gonna be a 21. Jesus. Bev, you crash the snow plow through the archway. It breaks off some of the stone and makes room for you. You start riding into the first level of the castle here. You see that it's this grade hall that's already been destroyed. You see they've broken up the giant oak tables

and have just made big piers. You see that there were like seven nasty lads here, fucking around. They see the plow. Kallukale, mother truckers. Oh fuck, quib kid. You see seven of these kids just like They see the plow, Kalloo Kale Mother Truckers, all fuck quid! All right, you see seven of these kids just like start diving out windows and running. I'm laying on the horn.

You lay on the horn. Wait, is hard one still on the roof? Oh yeah, he can't be. Yeah, hard one just hanging onto the roof. Move! Move! The nasty lad's ditch this first level. There's nobody else down here.

Awesome. So you guys are effectively out of combat. Let's call this little Russ Gack mother fucker down here. Yeah. Get him out of this comfort zone. Russ Gack! Russ Gack! Russ Gack!

Russ Gack! Russ Gack! Come join us, you go. Hard work, you can hard right? You can I Brocegac we got the necklace a good fortune You guys hear no response all right, okay. I guess we have to go to him Um, can I look at my amulet a bonus action sure cool. Can I take a little gander? That actually know what I'll wait I'm and it's just one hit die yep

This point that reminds that I will take a look. Oh, you saw him, right? Yeah, I saw it was so you guys all you guys all meet up you guys all on the first level now. Do we see like stairs leading up to the second level? Yeah, you can go up there through the tower. Yeah, it looked like Russ gag to me. I you go. Yes. I you go yes Dispatch us give us give us a rousing speech to inspire us to battle Never have I felt ferocity until I saw you murder a teen through his nostril Please don't recall that with such vivid detail. That's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life

I wanted to steal some cash from these dwarves What ended up happening was me murdering 14-agers and assisting in the death of countless others. I'm no hero. I'm a lugo or loser. Going away. Goodbye. No, I'm not here.

I'm glad he feels bad about it at the very least. Yeah. Yeah, you give us the order. We're going to go. Let's do this. Okay. All right. You don't want to say let's you go. Let's you go. Can I pick pocket a couple of chees on the one? I'm going or? Okay. So you guys, you guys rush up the tower. Okay. Yeah. But we're sneaking. We're still sneaking. still okay everybody go ahead and give me cell checks 14 9

20 not net wow 16 sweet see you guys sneak up Moonshine you're being a little noisy. Sorry y'all She had beans for dinner Yeah pop off arts Papa don't respond to your own fart. Meir. He scares himself. Papa, don't blame him on me. Meir.

Meir. Bob Farts, very cute. Play it cool when you pass him. Meir. Papa's yapping as you guys sneak up the tower. You enter the second floor. You see there is no fire here, no light other than the eerie purple glow from the rift piercing through the windows of the satrium. You see that this was clearly the

King's chambers. There's a bed, some bookcases, a large reading chair facing out towards the mountain with a view of the rift. You see a large burly dwarf in armor made of bones, facing away from you, looking at Mount Forge. And as you guys sneak up, you hear him, you've made enough noise. You see his head leans back a little bit. And in this voice, that is, sounds almost demonic, like he's been taken over by this kind of like arcane energy.

You hear him go, It is almost midnight. Almost time to make my wish. I am already the strongest in frost wind. And soon I will be the strongest in all of Bohemia. I rule, I kick ass, You guys suck. Well, maybe you haven't met our friend, the child killer. That's honestly more a nickname than anything else. We've gone the teen cleaner. A child by accident earlier today. Faz a clean, Faz a tease, a clean some up.

You see, Ruskak stands up and turns around. He always wore this armor that was made of bones that he stole from the mazzolium, but now he is unnaturally buff, and it's way too small for him. You see that there are huge gaps in the armor through which nearly translucent skin pokes out, huge muscles with straining unnatural veins arcane energy Crackles around him and his eyes glow purple. You see the ring

It is this ring of blackened iron glowing with the same light. It looks like it would be quite difficult to get off You see where the ring is on his finger Looks to be the same with as like it always was, but he's got like a big meaty giant hands on either side just super puffy. Hard one. He stole your bulk. You're right. Yeah.

Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Woo. Another Nat 20 on initiative. Wow. This episode is a curse for me for rolls 22 17 22 15 okay you go you are first you go wants to hide Right up the mat. I that's right. I'm out of here. I go ahead. Make a cell check 12

Sweet you go you try to hide you don't do a particularly good job. No That is moonshhine's turn. You see Hugo is just hiding behind a pillar. He's got his hands over his eyes like a toddler. That's playing hide and seek. Hugo, this room is mostly glass. What were you thinking? You're not exactly earning your 38%.

You're 42%. How much would it hurt if I threw you go at him? How would I roll for that? You could find out. No, that seems rude. Okay, I guess I'm down to just two first level spells and can trips. So is there an open window?

No, they're all thick and closed. Okay. THICC. Like our glasses. Yeah, closed off emotionally. All right, I guess I'm just gonna try to hit them with ice knife. So we don't got shit else to do. Ice kabob.

There's a 15 hit. A 15 does hit. Yeah! You cannot stop me. I am powered. Just knife goes right and it was just, ow! Oh my god. Wow.

Your phone's short. It's so small. It's like a little bone bib. Ow. Three damage, and then it does a dexterity save. Fails. Takes 11 more, and then I spores them for six. Jeez. I'm moonsh six. Geez, I'm...

Munchan, yeah, you run up, you throw the ice knives, sticks in his chest, spores them, do all this poison damage to him. You see, it rocks him back. He is tough for you guys, but you guys recognize as seasoned adventurers. This is just a pumped up punk. Yeah. Um, that is... That's for you, go.

The best turn. You go style. Together we killed them. Get them back into it. Now the time I was turned. Two heroes in this journey. Me and what's her face? Hard one that's your turn. It's a... whatever. My name is Margaret. Margaret Siburn. Margaret Siburn. Margaret Siburn. I don't want this guy knowing my name. That's fair. You get ideas.

I am going, I'll swing my axe at, I'll swing my axe at Russ Gack. Sweet. Oh damn, 10. 10 does not hit. I'll, oh wait, I don't. That's it. I'll be to use my action, sir. Yeah, I get it. You're trying really hard, man.

What, you can't hit me? Oh, I can hit you. Oh, yeah. I can also find like some other heroes. I'm kind of on his side. On his side, I crit. That's a 19. Oh, sweet.

Nice. 27 damage Jesus Yeah, you mess him right up you slash into him. He staggers back You'll go help Yeah, sure let's finish this fucker Which fucker whatever who's ever lovers more hurt bad that's your turn You go style means less and less now. All right, Jesus, you go.

Is that another shoe change? I'm three foot now. If we pass a DSW, I didn't see. You better stills there. I'm gonna try and hit rescue as well. Sweet. It's 14 hit. It does.

Woo. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and do a nice smile on this one. Sweet. I pray to the Lord and say, please, on this winter glow eve, bless my sword so that it might be in the style of you go. Oh, but you go style. You see, Bev, as you make that prayer, you see that there are like little strings of arcane energy coming out of you and going into um, rustic. What? And rustic just mockingly goes, oh please tell me please tell me it's shut up,

dude. That's actually pretty funny. Okay, your prayer went to rustic. What? I still get to divine smitho right? Okay. I just heard it man. You're praying. That's so funny. Praying is not funny unless you want it to be unless it's like a fun little joke unless you have an inside joke with God Which is what I consider you 22 damage starting to look pretty messed up great That is Ruskak's turn Ruskak is going to that you go You go has hidden.

You guys are all up in his business. So Moonchine threw an ice knife, so it's just bad and hard one. I'm gonna say he's gonna go after hard one, hard one attacked him first. He's going to try to power bomb you. I learned this by watching this on the WWE Network. I learned from watching the WWE Network too, so don't fucking try it. That's a 17 to hit. That works.

You guys see him kick hard one in the stomach? Hell yeah. Pick him up for the power bomb. You'll go double team, man. I'm in. You know you're asking to get through all of it. That is 12 damage to you hard one. Ow.

Slams you down. Go ahead and give me a Oh, you are grappled so he slams you down and he keeps hanging on That is Bound or turn bound or is going to run forward get off of them Bound or miss his big time just whips and keeps running forward At the end of Boundorse turn, Ruskak is going to take a little villain action. You see he holds his hands up and he goes, you cannot defeat

the coolest, raddest, baddest dude and the strongest guy ever. And he clenches his fist. You see this burst of arcane energy coming out of the rift and breaking all of the windows in the room. Everyone go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Ooh. 11. Shout out to the three Cree. 17.

18? Swipe that, anyway. Yeah, you did it right. Very proud of you. 3-3, 17, 18? Sweet. You might have to add anything. Yeah, that's, you did it right. Very proud of you. Okay, so Moon Shining Bev, you guys will take seven damage and you go and hard one, you guys take three. That is back up to you goes turn.

You see Rusk Aglitz at you, you go and goes, you and me, we can take out all of them and then I'll share the profits from the ring with you. I'm in, brother. Ha ha ha ha ha! Where are you gonna attack? You go, hard one. You're hard one. Ha ha ha ha!

Take an attack on everyone! Ha ha ha ha! That's gonna hit. Ha ha! Go ahead, because Roskack is right next to him. You can roll 2D 6s and a d8 I invoked you go style. How could you? Oh many 16 plus something what's the four? Oh down

You go goes up and stabshard one in the back Listen to the ear Open stabshard one in the back. Inocentilee or physically? Oh, but a hard one goes down. This is how I want it to die. That is Moonshine's turn. Moonshine, you got Hugo and Russ Kack here. I think I'm just going to try to push him to go out to win. Wait, can I hide? I want you to hide at the end of your turn?

Yeah, can't do that. Go ahead and roll a self-check. Later, skaters. 9 plus 8? Okay, 17. Moonshine, go ahead and make a perception check to try to find Hugo. You can't find me. I'm the Hugo, man. I got 10. You can't find Hugo. Alright then. I guess we should have known he wasn't on our side when he was stealing from the door fence. 10 you can't find you go all right all right I

Guess who's to the noting wasn't on our side when he was stealing from the door fence. I guess I'm just gonna I guess I'm just going to attack Russ gag. Okay, not my friend. I Feel justified, but sad I'm starting to regret killing teenagers for you, Hugo. That's gonna miss, and then I guess I'm just gonna spore in the general direction that Hugo was. Go ahead and make an attack roll with disadvantage. To spell attack. Yeah, to find you though.

You're just like spitting in the general direction of Hugo, hoping you hit him. 14. That misses Hugo. That is hard one, Stern. Hard one, good luck. Just like spitting in the general direction of Hugo hoping you hit him 14 that misses you go That is hard one turn hard one We're on the same team hard one give me a dead sleeping girl Oh, that is not 20 that's 20 hard one you keep up you kick right back up you're at one HP Oh, I'm not a turn you still have a turn. I was dead by a coward. Can I try to find you go? I'm still a turn you saw a turn I was dead by a coward. Can I try to find you go? Yeah, go ahead make a perception check

Damn, it's only a nine you can find you go all right, so I'll tack Russ Gack with my single turn Okay, you know what fuck and I'm gonna throw an axe in a general direction that I last saw you So discord amongst the group You're actually united on Saul against you. Russ gag help. I'm giant man. Why do you like this? That's a 15. You do hit Hugo.

Ow. Go ahead and roll your D6. You still have a tax? That's seven damage to Hugo. Hugo you are hit with an axe in the leg. Is this your thigh and sticks in there my thigh Luckily I have to that is That is best turn okay

Bev you and me let's attack. I don't really give a shit As soon as I saw you steal all those shoes and also that gold and then kill that child. I knew you were bad news. Do I see you go? Is he revealed himself? No, you guys heard a yell pass. There's like a god with a ring and we all need to kill you go. With my divine sense, can I sense his rotten heart? No, okay. is rotten heart. No, okay. I am going to look for you go. Make a perception check. You go. That's a 15. 15 does not find you. You can make it a tag girl with disadvantage if you want to throw something. You can run but you can't hide only I can hide I'm you go can I cast compel duel on you go I can't see him oh do I have to see him yep yeah I'm gonna try and find him just this once I'm gonna try and find him I go

ahead and throw a javelin yep disadvantage Bev I know you can hear me you me and that bad guy it's yeah more annoying than I can hear you so you you know he's bad. Oh god damn it. That's gonna be a nine. You miss. Ah, that's Russ Gagster. Russ Gag is going to, still has hard one grappled, is going to try to crush you hard one. Go ahead and make a strength saving throw. That's a 10.

Good luck brother. You killed me. Alright, I'm sorry, I should have healed you. I was just enraged. He picks you up again and spikes you on your head for 22 damage. Oh my god, that almost auto kills me. Oh, hard one goes down. Crash is so hard into the ground.

That is Boundorse Turn. I can't help it feel partly responsible for that. Boundor swings at Russkack, and he hits. Is there a jail in this building? I just wanted brunch. And he does five damage, right? You could have gotten brunch. Russkack's looking pretty messed up.

He also had brunch. You ate four in all day. How's that eggs? Yes, he really did. You really were working towards some way of us run cheros. I would have preferred notches, sure. At the end of the round, at the end of Boundor's turn, Yeah, he really did. You really were working towards some way most run cheros. Oh, it'll prefer nachos. Sure. At the end of the round, at the end of Bounder's turn,

you see he once again clenches his fist and you see more arcane power surge from the rift into you guys. Everybody go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Ooh, I'm dead. I got a seven. OK, shout out to eight great guys. I got an eight. OK, you out to eight great guys. I got an eight.

Okay, you guys are temporarily possessed. You go, you see Bev and moonshine both get purple glow in their eyes. You guys just have to make melee attacks against each other. So moonshine, take a crack with your staff and Bev take a crack with your sword or your javelin against moonshine. 21. and Bev take a crack with your sword or your javelin against Moonshine. Ugh.

Ugh. 21. 21 as well. You guys both hit each other. You just see them both with purple eyes beating the shit out of each other. This is kind of cool. Here you go! 12.

I hit you for seven. Well, you did 12 damage. Yeah, because I'm in, I do 2d6 right now, so I'm in fungal form. Well, Jesus, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, What are you guys doing? You guys come to and you see that you are fighting each other? Yeah. Buncha, that is what we're doing. You go turn. I don't know, I'm sorry. Oh, hello.

It's me. What would you like to do? I guess who's the weakest person left at this point? Who looks worse, Bev or Mochai? I think I'm doing okay. I think he has to make an insight check. Did it determine that? Yeah, I go ahead and make an insight check.

Yeah, forget all attack Beverly. Okay. No. Ah. He's overplayed his hand. What do I do, roll that? I just roll to hit him. Jesus Christ.

I go up to Shig Beverly's hand, but I'm actually planning on attacking him. So, so much discordant, also not know what to do. It's my idea, holiday, especially where everyone dies. I think asked kills everyone. I'm actually planning on attacking so so much discord also not know Holiday especially where everyone dies. I guess kills everyone 18 plus Hit that hit 2d6 Maybe you should have d leveled us and made him so powerful He's just the same levels you guys just a fucking rose I could have killed rustic and said you all took you took shots at you go and you couldn't see him

Shragged you go I don't give a shit about frostwood anymore. No, I just want to kill you know Russkack pray for me brother You go is a long-lasting problem. We got to get rid of him quick nine plus 13 damage 13 damage I'm down these steps Beth down Beth goes down Moonshine that is oh wait, do you want to hide you go? Yes, please go ahead and make a roll still check. I never liked you guys Only three oh no plus eight 11 11. Okay Moonshine that is your turn. I'm not taking a chance here. I'm gonna cast Fairy Fire and tackle him out of window. What did I do? What did I do?

Hey, can we talk about this day? You and Fairy Fire, you're not invisible anymore. I can see you. I just wanna check. Go ahead and make it up and impose that let-ics check against Hugo. I knew you'd go, you roll one as well. You have a minus.

You have a minus. I know. I knew you go, you roll one as well. You have a minus one. I got 14. Seven. You got six actually, because you minus one to that. Six. 14. 14. Yeah.

Just tackle him out a window and then land on him. Jesus Christ. You tackle, you go, you get super low on him and pick him up run towards the window You guys both fall out. I can actually could just throw him. I guess I just throw him I'm gonna have you making Dexterity save to not fall Okay, it's a lot of momentum to run towards as he's like rest if we both die. That's fine That's fine. Okay. It's worth it.

Clicking in bowl style. My dexterity is 15. You go, you can make an opposed dexterity check if you want to pull her. All right, I'll pull her. What do I do? Hold that for me. And what do I need?

You need to beat the 15. You got to beat a 15 on your dex. Three. Mochad, you successfully throw, you go out the window. As he's falling. As he's falling, I spores him for six. Oh my god. He's spit on you go.

You do six damage to him. You go how much self do you have left? I'm down to eight. Okay. You're gonna take, you're gonna take a little bit of damage as you fall. Let's see if it's enough to knock you out. You go, you take, you hit the ground with a crunch and take 12 damage.

You're just knocked out, you're not outright dead. So you spit on you going throw it up the way. You go, you fly out of the castle, you land with a crunch on the ground, just looking up at the chaos around You fade Thank you Moonshaw Hard one that's your turn. Go ahead. Give me a dead saving throw It's a four that's a fail for hard one agree that you're gonna go all down

Go ahead. Thank you. You're dead saving throw. Okay I agree that you're gonna go all die Ben go ahead and save me throw Okay It's 14 save that's a pass that is Russ Gax turn Russ Gax is going to run forward and attempts to tackle Moonshot out the window now Moonshot go ahead and give me and I go limp and I let it have an opposed to try check. I post athletics Oh 17 and I let it have a nice check. And a post-ethletics. Ooh, 17.

He got a 23. Okay. He picks you up and he tosses you. Let's do another either athletics or decks. I prefer to do athletics. 13. He got a 21. He successfully tosses you out the window. Moonshan, you fall he take

12 damage You land you roll your ankle your super her but still up Valnor is gonna run for an attempt to throw rustic out the Valnor Valnor save our soul hell yeah, oh Val got, that's a 22 right off the bat. So Russgeck has a plus six. Russgeck beats him. Russgeck has a 25.

Stop him, get slow, stop him from throwing him out. Ballnor is going to take an action surge and he's going to try again. He does. Shout out to the two crew. That is only an eight. That's awesome. For Boundor, that is, let's see what Ruskack gets. Ruskack gets a 13, but is enough to stop him. That is back around to Hugo's turn.

You go go ahead and just roll a D20 and this is to start doing death saves to see if you die. So I need four or more. So you need to get a 10 or higher. Just, it's a random luck check. Just roll. One.

Wait, really? Oh, no, sorry. Seven. Okay, so that's one fail. Yeah, they have three to die. So you have one fail. So that's it. That's it for this time.

I can't even rooting for you to die. I'm a moose style. Moose style, that is your turn. I just want to let you know, I think I could only kill you go right now. I want to make him, I want to try you know I think I could I'm like killing you go right now. I want to make him I want to try it for his crime. Yeah, he's right now. I feel like just so I can't do anything then.

You can climb start climbing back up. All right, because shinny. And you go as mouth. I spores them to give him one more failed death penalty. Oh my God. She have two fails you go. I just wanted brunch. You did it. And I started climbing.

Moonshan, you start climbing back up. Go ahead and give me the athletics check. Okay. 12. 12. Okay, you get up a little bit of the ways. That is back to hard one. Hard one, go ahead and give me death save

That's a nine that's two fails. I'm not gonna be able to save any of us that I don't have any spells left is Beverly's turn Ten that's a pass. Okay, great. Um, that is Russax turn. Gonna try to throw Boundore out the window. Good luck, brother. You're gonna be like, I'm shot every day. Throws successfully throws Boundore out the window. So if he land on Hugo,

can we roll over to Luggex and he lands on his knees? If he doesn't land on Hugo, no. What are the odds? Boundore does take 12 damage though, and he's quite hurt now. He hits the ground pretty hard. That is, Boundor's turn, Boundor's just gonna run back and try to climb back up.

He doesn't athletics check. He gets up a bit of the ways. That is back up to you, Moonshine. Okay, I'm gonna try, and I'm gonna climb in and get to hard one, so I can do a medicine check. Okay, do you use my amulet yet? No, I will. I'll be looking at the amulet.

Sweet, move on, check. You take a bonus action, use the amulet. Go ahead and make a wisdom check medicine check to try to stabilize hard one. This would just stabilize him, right? So he wouldn't have to do those anymore, because I can't, I don't have any healers. Yes.

Ooh, 24. Hard one stops doing death sails, yes. Stabilized. Okay, so everyone won't die. I will spore's rust gack for six. Okay, sweeps. Rust gack is quite messed up. Okay, sweet.

That is, we actually skipped Hugo. Hugo, go ahead and give me a death saver. Hahaha! Wait, this is my final one. See if you fail. I'll be there. I'll be better. Come on, Hugo. Over 10, Hugo's style.

Five. Five. You go, what is the last thing Hugo says or thinks as he leaves the world? You are the first guest to come on the show and die to a round of applause. This is equivalent to dead eye I'd say. Yeah, I guess it's the same set, don't you go last words? Barry me at three foot three.

Oh my god, you go is dead. Hard one, you are out. Bev, that is your turn. You can be a death saver. Don't give them a funeral. 13. I think I stabilized. You stabilized.

Oh, you're still out. That is Ruskak's turn. Ruskak is gonna try to slam you moonshine. Okay. That's a 21 to hit. Yeah, it is. 15 damage moonshine. I'm down.

Oh shit. Ballnor. Ballnor's turn. The world rests on your hands. Okay. We're gonna do this. I'm gonna do this in front of the table for the fate of the world.

You're not. Hahaha. Ballnorverse Rus Russ Gack. I will tell you that Russ Gack has 11 HP left, and Ball Nor has six. Can Ball Nor look at my amulet? Ball Nor can look at your amulet. No, he's... And he has second wind.

Okay, first thing Ball Nor does is second wind. He gets a D10 plus two hit points, So he gets seven back. So Balnor goes back up to 13. He looks at Bab's Amulet and gets another 10. There you go. He's back up to 23. Balnor takes one swing at Russ Gack. He's got to get a 14 or higher to win. Come on. That is a... 12 to hit. He misses. He deserves this. That is Russ Gax turn. Russ Gax takes a swing at Balnor.

Shout out to the two crew. That is only an 8 to hit misses. You're fucking lucky, you go. Munchine, you also have to roll a death saving throw. Fail. Fail. Okay, that's a fail for moonshine that is back down to Balnor Balnor takes another swing at Russkack Shout out to the two crew he misses that is Russkack's turn Russkack hits He's Russkack and picks him up And slams him for 11 damage.

Still standing. Still standing. Still standing. He's got no way to heal though. Balnor is going to swing it. Russ gag. I might turn to a dude. Oh, Moonshan go ahead and do a dead save.

Another fail. Oh, that is. Balnor's turn. Balnor's turn. That isn't at one, but he rolls again. He's lucky. Yeah. That's an at 20. Woo!

Everyone's cheering, but you go. I am good. You guys being tortured and held. Playing against myself. OK, Ball North. OK, so Ball North is going to roll 2d8s and a plus 3. So Ball North needs to get 11 here, a total of 11 to kill him. I'm gonna roll him for it of everyone.

Come on, save Christmas, Boundore. Come on, Boundore. Wait, is that an 8? 3, 3, oh, so he only gets 9. Boundore does 9 damage, gets Russ Gek, down to 2. Thank you for taking this seriously, Balnor. Balnor, I don't regret anything. Balnor is at 12, that is Russkack's turn.

Russkack still has him grappled, is going to try to crush Balnor. Balnor needs to do a strength saving throw. Balnor is pretty good with strength saves. He's got a plus five, he's got to get a nine or higher on this roll to survive. With a sickening crunch Ruskack

Power bombs Balnor into the afterlife and that my friends is a total party kill wait, but we don't know if I Survive rusk at goes over and kills you Mary fucking Christmas Happy with total party kill Happy holidays everyone That is where we will end our session Oh my god at least you go die too. Yeah, I was like, we're fucked.

You go is gonna fuck it if we're dying. You go is not. If you go, we go. Nice. You know we go, thank you. We're gonna promote buckets. I swear to god, don't let it. Yes, wow, what a buyback too.

I, wow, I wasn't expecting this yet. So So um, Balnor is killed with a devastating power bomb Huh, and Russ get goes over an unceremoniously executes each one of the knocked out people in the room You know, it's already dead outside. What about Papa? Um Papa Scramble so wait, so wait At least you couldn't kill him you go Scramble the way. Uh, at least you couldn't kill him, you go. But let's not bring up the dwarfs, it's all fucking fucked. Oh yeah, what is this mean?

It's mean killed 11 of them. Pop-op-op runs around, tries to grab a piece of hair from each person, and scrambles away. Oh, perhaps there's hope for the future. Maybe Pop-op can somehow get to Mima, get everyone reincarnated. Perhaps Pop-Up and somehow get to Mima. Pop-Up, get everyone reincarnated. Perhaps Pop-Up can say Christmas. Does Pop-Up grab a strand of Hugo's hair?

No. I feel like a lot of us watch this timeline and it's just like, nah, that's a miss. Good Lord. Well guys, we'll talk about this over on the page, Trion. I love that we got a total party kill. I don't know how the day's going. Funny.

Is that happened every episode? Or... First of all, you're just hitting the pizza. You, I'm here directly, got everyone killed. He attacked you, knocked you out, then you guys were so mad at him. You used every round to fight, I, to try to find him. Yeah, iTunes, Patreon, is this what you fucking want? Yeah.

We should have never had him on. We should make sure that they open Hugo's stuff. You ruined Dutton the Dragon. You go, you go, you go also died. That's what's so funny is that nobody got what they wanted. Just end of the world. I've never got what he wanted, because he doesn't care if Hugo lives her dad.

It's Hugo, not Hugo with an H. Murph, take your off the podcast, I'm sorry. What? He's showing discord even after he's gone. Good Lord. Guys, we'll talk about this one in the short rest. So we're on patreon.com slash natfod that's NADD, DDPOD don't sing yet.

Right, so okay. Guys. Thank you so much for listening We got some things to plug against how could we plug anything? We're all dead Everyone I'm here. Thank you so much for coming back. Thank you. And happy Honda days to everybody Me or you got anything to plug? No, just keep listening to this show you guys are kicking butt. You go. I'm sure we'll be back soon, right? Totally gay. Hashtag you go style of you go to be on every episode going forward. You're saying Hugo Good Lord check the store for you go style shirts Lord check the store for you go style shirts

Hold out Thank you guys skaters merch It says later skaters on the back is just a no-miss shit Thank you guys for listening you guys can follow us on Twitter at you as well as me I call these called all how do you actually assembly at Jake her which is Jake? I mean what's your Twitter? You got anything I take it a mirror at Jake and a mirror share it You guys share it just like you share everything a death a total party kill Lord Awesome you guys can tweet about the show using hashtag nadpa that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d We are we are

The youth of the nation We are we are The youth of the nation, we are the youth of the nation. Hello friends and happy winter glow, it is CalBull here and it is the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our Benevolent Council of Elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D, Dylan B, Danny P, Steelbreaker and Spencer Caskbrew. The five demons in charge of torturing Hugo and Hell.

And don't worry, I'm not talking about Bohumi as 9 Hells, I'm talking about Judeo-Christian Hell. Hugo is absolutely fucked. Beardman Dan. Adam R. Danielle the Dastardly Dame. Alachard, Michelle O, a Bohumi in band known as the Total Party Killers. Each member is also a bard slash rogue multi-class.

They mostly do bar mitzvahs weddings and political assassinations. Haldor Frostback, Multifor, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S and Cutter W. Members of Russkak's new small council, under their new King's rule, Bahumi has seen a 20% increase in loitering and a 50% increase in dope snowmobile tricks. Also, the stock market has crashed and money is now completely useless. Shoeberthemushroom, Alaina C, Mixologist Michael McD, Andrew M. and Balmour's boy. The 5 Ghosts of Winter Glow. If you've been a miserly scrooge this past year, these 5 dwarfs will visit you in the

night and beat the ever-loving shit out of you. I'm serious, your shins are toast. Just an eye, Jacob C, Alaina M, Jostrich, and Dana G, a group group of dwarfens Yugo promised to have brunch with. They waited at the bistro until 4 p.m. before realizing that he wasn't coming and now they're stuck with the bill. Even in death, Yugo strikes again. Damio R. Destin C. Devin B. Jive G. and Earl and Kathleen L. A crew of Reformed Nasty Lads who took off their bone shirts, combed their hair, and Earl and Kathleen L. A crew of reformed nasty lads who took off their bone

shirts, combed their hair, and now go around Frostwin spreading the good news of Mordyn. They call themselves the Clean Teens. Beverly and Papa are currently attempting to take legal action. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya Desekwani, Michael L, Sam H, Traylae the Cray-Fay, and Jory S, five beautiful Frostwin rats that were spared from being eaten as is Winterglo tradition. They returned the favor by shitting in a salad bowl in the back of a cabinet and chewing through several HDMI cords. Adam H, Ryan, Aaron G, Jake L, and Zach C, you go five identical siblings. Weird that it never came up, but he was one of a sex

tuplet. Interesting. Big Buck, Richard X. Malkina, Sam L. Troy McC. and Gage M. A group of frost windwarves who celebrate winter glow by ingesting glow sticks and hallucinating moridin. A right of passage for sure. Dom R. Josh S. Nicholas C. Austin C. and Kristen P. The Red Mesh Heads, a group of dwarfants that freaking loved Ugo and now wear his signature Red Mesh vest in his honor. Mike H. Matthew E. Samuel B. Tilford G. and O'Cotta, a team of adventurers that came along and beat Ruzgak, thus saving the world. They still left the band of boobs bodies for dead though. When they tried to revive a moonshine, she croaked, It's funnier this way!

Then fell back dead. Aaron C. TJ M. the gnome barbarian, trash the traveler, and behumous fiercest L&D. The dwarven blacksmiths who forged the ring of generosity and intended for it to be worn exclusively by philanthropist and grandma's who feed the animals in the backyard. Sweet. Anime intellect, Zolo dolo, Larissa J and Dylan C.M. the wannabe DM. A frostwin accordion quartet who plays the annual Winterglo festival.

That the band of boobs could have gone to if they didn't try to save the world. Fools! Colton B, J, C.C. Lulu, and Aiden R.H. The four dentists who gave Hugo his gold teeth. They're also scam artists and most of his teeth are just plated. Justice. I'm hopeless, Timmy R, Alex M, Aaron Sully and Eric G, the esteemed founders of the Hugo Fan Club. Hugo wired them cash every month to bribe them into maintaining membership, but their future looks grim now that their golden tooth prints is dead. Trajick. Lucas B, Jordan L, Taleth X, and Mateo C. A squad of gnomes who used to live with you go in his old apartment. The vest nest, as it was called, they were all unceremoniously evicted after none of them

paid rent in an effort to outgift each other. Austin MR, Kaley Elise, Barnes & Aitor, and Mick Pucks, a crew of sailors who offered pop-hop passage on their ship out of Frostwin. Sail quickly mighty dwarves, only you can help this scramble man save Christmas. Dev and W, Shenoa B, Jared E, Persephone and Eric McD, a bunch of super jacked Frostwarves who had their power sapped away by Rustcac mid workout. The ones who were benching were instantly crushed and the ones who were flexing, they exploded. Ffff, devastating.

Recent-S, Eric and Andrea B, Charo Arcadius and Jay Parker, a team of nasty lads who avoided the band of boobs entirely and are currently ripping through the streets of Frostwin on six snowmobiles. Congrats on your happy ending, guys. You earned it. Huh, Steven C, Maxwell C, the streets of Frostwin on 6 snowmobiles. Congrats on your happy ending, guys. You earned it.

Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Ulmary M. and Calum L. A team of heroes who attempted to save the world immediately after the band of boobs were defeated. Unfortunately, the first thing they did was revive a Yugo, which ultimately led to their own total party kill. Should have seen that comment. Scott D. Nothorough the prodigy ranger Shane B. of The Pinch and Dan, a group of enterprising dwarvens who started a snowmobile repair and wrestling memorabilia business after Roskack took over the world.

They are flourishing and it looks like they'll get by just fine after all. Unlike the band of boobs, who are dead? Richard C. Caren T. Curtis S. Michael C. and B. J. L. Pappas Childhood Baby Sitters. It took a team to keep the scramble man out of trouble and committed to pouring over his law books. We thank you so much for your service. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Barrison Can of the Wizards Tower. Nicholas P. and Robert F. The newest troop of great teens.

Turns out Bev's emo phase has spawned a generation of surly young warriors who want to follow in his footsteps. Sadly, their scout master is none other than Danny Pebblepot. Oh no! Kevin M. Angel B. Rahul N. I am the Atlas and Ryan of Clan Cougan. Members of an elemental rock and roll band called Earth Wind and Fire. Yes, it's that, Earth Wind and Fire. Amazing.

Maribel the Kitty Morphing Nome. Esmi M. Robert Yins Christian T, and Joe McGee. Hard one's emotional support animals. Hard one loves these cuddly little friends who help him through his more sensitive moments. He'll never let anything bad ever happen to them. No better friend to the furry than Hard One's Surefoot. I've read it out loud and now I believe it's true. Meta-amps, Mr. Hydrois, Atticus- C, Tom S, and Kazimir, they all know him.

Missing crick-teens who are last seen swimming in the Congressional Water Park, don't worry, they're fine, they're just French kissing in the steam room. Nice. Luke H. Jonathan from Crickfield, Kelvin Noodles, Grace G, and Nathaniel P. Bounor's Mustache Trimmers. Bounoundorse hands get a little shaky when he has an out of butt heavy and he needs all the help he can get. Aim into that. Well, that is all of our council members. Thank you all so much. Have a wonderful, safe and happy holiday and we will talk to you soon. Bye bye!

Bye-bye! That was a hitgun podcast.