Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 1: The Kill Screens

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

Meet the Kill Screens! Slug the Cyborc, Aux the Fox, and Atom the ATM fight an evil corporation to save their city. Slug enters a high stakes motorcycle roller derby, Atom infiltrates a rival gang of droids, and Aux goes all in on a wild bet. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford. "Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford."Slug" by Emily Axford. "Aux" by Emily Axford. "Atom" by Emily Axford. "The Arcade" by Emily Axford. "The Inkling Syndicate" by Emily Axford. "The Gambling District" by Emily Axford. "Healing Worm" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahamia, everybody. Bahamia. That's right. We're in Bahamia. I am your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined as always by Jake Harwitz, Emily Axford, and Caldwell Tanner.

Hello. Don't get too comfortable because we don't know their characters yet. I'm freaking whisked. I'm whisked back. Yeah. Whisked away. Wisked away to a far off land called Bohumio. More specifically, in the ruins of Gladeron, in the caves of Cragwater lies a city. A city of neon lights, cyber-enhanced citizens, cool motorcycles and crime. Look at him back in his element. Yes. We missed this. Lots of crime.

A city called Needs. Neo-Galateron. Yes. Two centuries after the cataclysm that destroyed old Galateron, Neo-Galateron spawned from the resilient folk who lived amongst the rubble, runaways and fugitives from larger city-states, ambitious warlords hoping to make a name for themselves, and the generations of street kids that followed.

After Esri's tech boom of the last century, Neil Galateron caught the runoff, but with no regulation or foresight, black market capitalism at its finest. Yes, is that good? We'll see. It's probably more regulated than regular capitalism. It's probably not that different than regular capitalism.

Wow. To be perfectly frank. A cybernetic arms race between gangs led to bigger, faster fighters. Eventually five gangs carved the city up and mutually assured destruction led to a reluctant peace. Until recently, the past 15 years have been by Neo-Galateron standards harmonious. Occasional skirmishes break out, old feuds boil over, but the gangs of Neo-Galateron have grown to respect each other. A popular toast in Neo-Galater-on is to the devil you know. But a new gang has changed the rules, and they are perhaps the most powerful, so powerful,

in fact, that they don't have to class. as a gang at all. The mothership corporation has found new footing in Neo-Galateron. After losing their headquarters in Esri and Iron Deep, they have stopped trying to influence established cities and instead, quote, invest in an up-and-coming one. Mother ship, with its vast resources and sizable military force, has carved out their own neighborhood and headquarters.

The Old Guard would have never allowed this, but a new generation of gang leaders are hungry for new tech and easily bribed. They don't remember the days of the real street fights, but they've heard the stories and they want to become legends themselves. Their capitulation has led to infighting amongst the organizations and increased tensions between gangs. With all this distraction, mothership has established a puppet government. The so-called mayor, Petunia Glenbottle.

Bo. Bo. No. Bo. Granddaughter of Patina has declared a crackdown on quote, illegal tech leading to raids by mothership Synth Eldridge Knights. The citizens of Neo-Galateron rely on backdoor dealings to survive, buying patches from other gangs or outside smugglers to deal with the side effects of their unstable augmentations. Patches like computers, not patches like that you'd put on a vest. Although you could definitely

In a cyberpunk world You could definitely have a vest that lit up and had patches on it. You can contain multitudes and homophones. Let me rewrite my character description. We definitely have a sewing machine at our base. Yeah. By banning unauthorized trade, Mothership is offering two options.

Join us or die. We cut to some of the aforementioned illegal activity, a packed, warehouse in contested territory between zones one and two. You guys operate out of zone one. Another gang operates out of zone two. We're number one. Vap smoke hangs heavy in the air, along with the screams and cheers of a rowdy crowd. A giant projection, like a stock ticker flashes constantly changing gambling odds.

You see cyborgs, robots, and altered humanoid scream at ticket takers in crowded booths. people like straight up punching each other trying to get forward like rates going crazy you see there's various like cryptocurrencies too that just go up by like a hundred times its value then dump and people scream mothership coin just rapidly goes up rapidly falls the main event of the evening is underway a roller jam cyber skitch showdown between two teams representing their gangs the jailbreakers who are former mothership robots who broke away from the network, and the kill screens, our heroes who operate out of an old arcade, fans pack into rusty, levitating bleachers, armored, rollerblader speed across a banked track, jumping laser hurdles, and dodging drone fire. Motorcyclists shoot off ramps to avoid the opponent's blockers and link up with their own team's Skitcher, who they can pull to boost their speed, the first Skitcher to complete three lapses. wins. I know we said this was based on the Warriors, but unfortunately it's also based on 2002's

Roller Ball. Yeah, dude. You see the two teams are in a dead heat as they finish the second lap. Each team's biker launches off a ramp in the middle of the track and crashes down ahead of the skitchers, extending their hands, getting ready to give them a boost. The jailbreaker skitcher is terrifying. Looks like a Terminator like metal exoskeleton. Her mechanical joints pump with joyless efficiency, just squaking. Wee, wee, we, we, we! Just going so fast. Glowing red eyes with just murderous intent and focus.

She's also wearing like a neon yellow skirt and helmet. She reaches out a wiry hand, connects with her biker, and then shoots around the first corner. Our second skitcher is from the kill screens. Emily, please describe your character. Okay, slug slap dash could not be more different than that droid. Slug is an adrenaline junkie, a speed freak.

She's ripped to the tits, juice to the gills. She's a cybernetically enhanced orc, a cyborg, if you like puns. Syborg, cyborg, cyborg, cyborg, cyborg, cyborg. And if you don't like them, you can kick rocks. Boom! Kick rocks, kick rocks, kick rocks. Don't hustle these tusks. Ow!

I'm wearing rollerblades. I got a fanny pack, a loose syringes. I got a goalie mask with the cage up. I got a deviated septum from a broken nose that didn't heal right. And I'm blowing bubble gum through the tooth I'm missing. So let's go. Let's do this. Hell yeah.

Crowd goes wild. People are chanting cyborg, your nickname. You see Slug, your biker is big mini. this little goblin with huge goggles that pilots an enormous bike. You see she lands off a ramp in front of you. Sparks go up. She reaches her hand out, Let's fucking sketch, dude.

Let's sketch, Minnie. Let's sketch, slut! She grabs onto you and v-v-v-v-bram! Rents her engine and begins riding around the corner. Up in the stands, we cut to the jailbreakers section. Robots, cyborgs, and constructs jump up. and down. They're just yelling out, Spathreed, Spathreed,

which is the name of the Skitcher on the jailbreaker side. Spathreed, Spathreed. It's like speed, but with threes, go spathreed, you are the most efficient. I just think she meant something else when she called herself that. She is the definition of a well-oiled

machine. Yeah. Amongst all of the cyborgs and the robots and constructs, there is one member of Kill Screen hiding amongst them, Aldo would you like to describe your character? Yes, but keep it on the down low. Hello, my name is Adam Rom.

I am a small, boxy robot made from an old ATM machine and several salvaged gnomish automaton parts. My life began as a simple coin exchange machine, but then my creator Elmer upgraded me so that I could better defend myself against thieves and vandals. Due to my appearance, I serve as the killscreen scout and spy, since I am able to easily hide amongst other robots and appliances. My face is not very expressive, but I make up for that by wearing extremely loud Hawaiian shirts.

My favorite is one featuring tigers, riding in sports cars and smoking big cigarettes. I have the same one. We share. I run the prize counter at Killscreen Arcade. It is my pride and joy. The most prominent item that I have secured for the arcade is a glass AK-47 full of bubblegum. That's what I'm chewing right now I've told you to stop chewing the prize gum

I will buy you separate gum Yeah you're amongst all of these other robots You see as the jailbreaker Skitcher starts to go around the corner Everyone's cheering they pat you on the shoulder Yes yes guy with the cool shirt He's on outside I love it

This is the best Tuesday night ever I love it when tiger smokes cigarettes Here why don't you light up with me, friend. Okay. Start smoking cigarettes with you. I smoke a cigarette and then I plug into this other robot so that you can

share my smoke digitally. This is intimacy. Why the heck not? What are you doing after this? Whoa. He's infiltrating so hard. Adam just starts making out with this other robot in the crowd.

Hey, one for you, one for them. Everyone starts wooing. Yes. This is sex. This is. is sex, this is sex. It's just our plugging USBs in each other.

Wow. The thrill of the track, it just gets me all revved up. The rink is getting wet. On the other side... One in the pink, one in the ring. That's another one of your shirts. On the other side of the track is the kill screen section,

various altered humanoids and cyborgs, hoot and holler. Jake, your character is up there. Would you like to describe your character. What the hell is that I'm doing? Okay. Oaks O'Connor. So the first thing you're going to notice is that he's a fox. He's an actual fox. So he stands on two feet. He's tall and angular with orange fur and a white patch around his mouth. He's got pointy fox ears with black fur at the edges. And he wears kind of like this tech jumpsuit that's handmade but close fitting,

almost like a Formula One car all around his body. As a battlesmith, I also have a steel defender, which I named Rova. Basically looks like a Yeti with two tank trots. And as I'm watching this, I put down like a telescoping metallic helm

with just a thin black slit in front of the eyes. I pound on the side and digital eyes blink and open up as I'm watching. Hell yeah. You just see, you have like little headphones that come with them and you're tapped into the audio on the opposing side. You just hear, this is sex. This is sex.

That is sex. Almost like there's a fight in an arena. There's like a growing like circle around Adam as a sexual partner here. Like vape just falls out of my mouth onto the floor.

I'll also say ox, you're kind of, you're the Donatello. You're the one that does machines here. Yes. So you're probably the one that made the bet here. How much... I'll say that you guys have about 2,000... We're going to call them credits.

Okay. Oh, yeah. It's just gold, but they're credits. Yeah. You have about 2,000 credits to play with a G. Yeah. How much... How many credits do you think you... Credits. Would have bet on this. I think we... I think we discussed ahead of time and we said, don't blow the whole entire watt.

Okay. Okay. Sorry, too late. This is sex. So I went up to the counter. And I said, I'm only putting a thousand credits here on Slug. And then I said, but hell, it's Slug. What do we got to lose, right? Everyone's going to love when I bet 2,000 credits. It'll be the best surprise ever.

So I bet 2,000 credits. You go to bet 2,000 credits. Yeah. You see there's a jailbreaker with, has sort of like mismatched parts, has like a security bot body, but like a vacuum head. You see he puts in a huge bet and looks at you and goes. goes, when we win, I'm going to get the dust busters back. My wife is going to come back and bring back the dust busters.

What are you, a hoova? Yes. My name is hoova. Okay, good luck with that. Thanks. I have children and I call them dust busters. And me and my wife have been having a hard time. We're separated but not divorced, but after I win big today.

Tell you what, why don't you hedge and put a little bit on Slug, huh? Oh, oh, God. Looks up at the ticker and sees that the odds start wildly shifting and just the three is losing at the moment. No, no, no. You're having problems for a reason, huh? And you also, you have another side bet. In addition to like a monetary bet that you might make, you've also made a bet before this with the jailbreakers for a useful bit of information. There's a freelance hacker who has offered a mysterious and lucrefer.

job to the crew who wins. So we cut forward a little bit. OX, you are back in the stadium up on the benches. You have your little ticket here, which is this little box that has the odds written on it, and it will literally transfer your winnings or take your money from this box when someone wins or loses. And it is the final lap. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Okay.

I roll with advantage, but shall be able to. to the two crew. I got a 19 becomes a 24. Come on. That's two-toos. Jesus, dude. Starting it off right. I got a 19. Rom, what did you get with your ad? Seven. I guess I'm a little distracted at the moment.

All right. This is very fitting. First in the order is Slug. Slug, big mini pulls you around the corner. You almost go horizontal as you skitch behind the motorcycle. It's like a ramp. You go up over the crowd. You are Coming up next to the jailbreaker, Skitcher, who's also holding on to her motorcycle. This is Spathreed.

Your human legs are suboptimal for the race. I'm going to not even dignify that with a response. Okay, so I'm in a rage. Yeah. I'll say first things first. As you guys come around the corner, give me contested performance checks for the crowd, and the winner will get inspiration for the round. Okay.

If that's the case, I'm going to say that I have like brass. knuckles that have wheels on them so I can like flip over into like a headstand and still be skating and then flip back over and be on my roller blades. You got knuckle skates. 23. Okay. So you go off the ramp, wall on a motorcycle, briefly let go of the motorcycle, do a flip, do like a, like a 540 vertically, basically, and then land on your hands with knuckle skates and then catch

on to the motorcycle with your foot and keep going. Spathrid just got an 11, so you see she does a pretty cool backflip. It's playing. It's safe. That's a problem with these bots. Ha, backflip. Perfectly efficient trick. So you get a D6 of inspiration for the round.

You also act before Spathreed. The way we're going to treat this is you're going to get two turns. Whoever has expended the most speed in those two rounds wins. They're going faster. Does that make sense? Okay. Yeah. How doody can I be?

You can be so dirty. In fact, you see Spithrid's chest starts to open up and you see she just has a fucking net that she's going to shoot. Okay, great, great, okay. I am going to, as I'm going by Spithrid, I'm going to grapple. Oh. I'm going to try to grapple her with my first attack. That's a nat fucking 20. That's a nat 20 and a one with rolling with advantage.

Which is just a NAT 20. All right. She's going to roll. Unless she gets a Nat 20, she really can't stand up against this. She does not. She gets a 19. So she's pretty strong, but I'll say she does her perfect backflip. And when she lands, it's just in your arms hanging on to you.

So now two motorcycles are connected to each other and you also are dragging her along. This is highly inefficient. Speed three. I'm not about efficiency. I'm about excellence. And I'm going to, with my second attack, use a chain. Okay.

I'm going to... Oh, we have some homebrew rules. I talked about it with these guys before we started, but these guys can switch up what types of attacks they do between them. So if you have like a laser gun and then you want to use a laser sword, do one attack as one, one attack as the other. These are altered humanoids. So I'm going to try and...

Since she's grappled, I can do an athletics check to entangle her in my chain. Okay. Which would restrain her and make her speed zero. Okay. And because I have the street justice feet, the DC to escape is higher. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to do my athletics check.

I easily get it. Okay. So she is now restrained in chains. Okay, she's restrained in chains. You're hanging on to her right now on the motorcycle. I'm going to drop her. And then I'm going to bonus action dash 50 feet. Okay.

So you move 50 feet. So what happens is big mini gives you a boost around the corner. She adds 60 feet to this as she throws you around the corner. So you actually go 110 feet. Fuck yeah. And then the other team's blockers are just ahead. So Minnie is then going to kind of ditch you and go to a ramp in the middle to try to meet you further down the track. You're now on the back stretch of the track.

Go ahead and you're going to be giving me athletics checks. You see three laser hurdles ahead of you. They are rapidly rising and falling. Every failure on this will slow you down. 10 feet. Oh. So I'm going to roll a D8 and add it to an 8. First one is an 8. D.C. 16. Second one is just 2, so DC10.

And then DC 9. So 16, 9, and 10. That's nothing. Give me the 16 first. I'm in a rage, so. Come on slugs. Slither through. 18. 18, you pass. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. It was 21. 21. Okay. So you use your knuckle blades

again as you jump up and land on your fist. over the laser at its highest possible point. Second one is just a nine. 14 plus 8. 22. 22 passes. Leap over another one.

Back on your feet. Last one's 10. 17 plus 8. 25. Jesus. Getting better every time. This is no thing. You go up the side and you're like basically horizontal again. You're not even near the laser.

I find like a drone that's doing video and I blow a kiss at it. Cyborg! Cyborg! This is sex. Cyborg, this is sex. Yeah, yeah, I do like a lewd gesture with my tongue between my fingers. Yeah, the crowd is so fucking horrid up right now. Adam screams, oh yeah.

No, I was talking to you, babe. Not about the game. Okay, next is going to be spithrid. Spithrid is currently restrained. How does she get out of being restrained? Because the DC is increased because of my street justice feat, so she needs a 21 acrobatical. to escape or a 23 athletics to burst out of it.

Wow. I did not calculate for this. Recalculating. Recalculating. Come on everyone. Fuck harder. We must support her. You just see sparks as she's being dragged by her motorcyclist.

She'll roll, I don't know, she can potentially get a 23. She needs to get, she's got to get a 17 or higher on this. She's going to make an athletics check. She got a 19. Oh, fuck. All right. So she does break out of the chains.

That's your action. That is her action. Nice. So uses her action to break out of the chains. Is not going to be able to do any bullshit against you because now she has to use her bonus actions and stuff. She has 60 feet from the motorcycle that carries her. She only has a base speed of 40, but she does the same thing as you. So is 20 feet behind you.

And actually, wait. Well, if she's 20 feet behind me. What do you have still? Okay. So when I'm in a rage, my. I have serums and compounds that are in effect. My maddening fumes. I emit a 30-foot emanation.

Everything speed is halved. Every enemy's speed is halved that is in my emanation. All right. I'm going to have her do a perception check to see if she sees this gas so she can try to kind of like maneuver around it. Okay. She does not. She starts to slow down once she gets near you.

Ah, there's some gong in my joint. Recalculate. Recalculating. Recalculate all you want. This one is over. And she's going to need to make some athletics checks. Yes. Passes the first one. Fails the second one.

Passes the third one. So slows down 10 feet. So she is actually at 130 feet and you're at 160 feet. Okay. You see her motorcycle shoots off and is going to meet her at the next corner. Your motorcycle is down there. Your team's blockers are fighting each other. OX, we are going to cut to you up in the next.

stands. You are next in the initiative. Ox, go ahead and give me a perception check as you look with your radar and everything around the arena. That's at 19. 19. Okay. You're kind of like hacking into like the sound of what's around you, like listening into the jail breaker side and everything listening in around you.

And you hear an interference like someone's making a call, like walkie-talkie or something like that. And you look down and you see a couple rows down, a couple seats to your left. There's a figure in a dirty green cloak, not out of the ordinary at all, but they're jostled by someone sitting next to them. And when they're jostled, their cloak kind of moves and you see an energy blade at their side. And that is the standard issue weapon of mothership knights. Oh. And you see this person is speaking into like a communication device.

size of like a lipstick case looks like he's trying to be subtle here. Okay. Rova, rova, hold my beer. It starts moving back and forth on his treads. Hold it, just stay still. Stay completely still. You're spilling it everywhere.

I'm going to put my beer on top of Rover an inch down and see if I can get any closer in here, anything. Great. Go ahead and give me a stealth check. Dirty 20. Dirty 20. You are able to sneak down and get right behind this guy. You can actually hear what he's whispering into this little microphone. You hear him saying,

They're on the last lap. More bets are still pouring in. I'll give you the signal when to send the drop ship. The drop ship? And you would know that mothership raids events like this, like sends a drop ship full of, tons of knights and soldiers, and they'll come and they'll just take the money themselves, essentially, like, shut it down and be like, this was illegal gambling.

The money is ours now. Yeah. And so this dude, it would appear to you, is waiting until the last possible moment. He'll give the signal. They'll come down. Got it. Break this up and basically take the money from you guys. Okay.

So do I, would I know, like, where the most strategic exit point is so we don't get caught up in it? Or, like, would I know how to? If he's saying drop ship, it means like a giant spaceship is going to land on top of the factory. So we're going to blow up the roof. And yeah, this place is fucked. Whether or not you guys make money is in question. All right. So we know the sealant's blowing off this thing, but I do still want a slug to win.

Yes. We all have like one. Yeah, you guys have like mic so you guys can hear each other. I'm feeling good. I think I got this. I'll keep it up. She's got to be in the bag. Adam, if you could finish and get over here as quickly as possible.

Adam, really, we're on the fucking clock. I'm working an angle. Yeah, we can all see your angle. The angle has been worked. Me and his other robot are like vibrating like washing machines. Just back and forth in sync. Save me that cut water. I put that cut water in the cooler.

Do not drink it. So as I hear this, I think I just know that I want to make sure that he doesn't make the call. I have the charger feet. Okay. And when I run at somebody in a straight line, they basically take a D8 of force damage. Okay, so I'm going to pretend like I got pushed down the stairs or something and just fall into him and see if I can like knock anything.

Okay, go ahead and give me, I'll say an attack roll, and then you can do a sleight of hand. This dude has 17. That's a fucking Nat 20. Wow. There it is. Kill screens. All right.

Hill screen. With a crit, no sleight of hand needed. You fall down into him as he's talking into it. All right, I'll give you the signal. Ready, so. Ah, fuck! You see, the receiver thing falls down between the bleachers. It's just fucking gone.

I'll give you the signal. I raise up my middle fox finger. You see, this guy starts chasing you through the crowd. Oh, no. Rover, don't drink my beer. OX, you okay? You okay? I'm good.

Not having as good a time as Adam, but I'm all right. All right. Who is? Ox, you see, this knight starts chasing you, and you see another guy was up higher in the bleachers, kind of looking down. Doesn't look like he has the same kind of like receiver device, looks like maybe like lower ranked or something,

but joins him and they both start following you through the crowd. Okay. You can do your damage for when you knocked into him. 14 damage. Okay, so 14 damage on just your charge. Yeah. Rad. Okay, so you see, you knock into this guy,

drops the receiver, bangs his head. Super hard. A bunch of people nearby go, oh, oh, my God. Dude, you okay? He tripped. But then you see, as he starts to get up, his energy blade is more visible,

and people start heckling him and go like, oh, mother shit, mother shit. More like mother shit. And as you say that, that's not how you say it. That's not how it's pronounced. That's how everybody hears that. That's not, mother shit, mother shit.

This guy runs out and is going to chase after you, so you can make the rest of your attacks if you want. Okay, sweet. So I guess if he's going to attack me, I'm gonna hit him with my mall. Okay, so with charger, that goes with your attack, right? So when you take this mall attack, just take the crit. Go ahead and do your crit damage with your mall.

Oh, baby. 27 damage. He had exactly 27. Oh, my God. So you destroy this mothership night. You just club him in the chest. You see his chest caves in. There's all these sparks from the cybernetic armor that he's using.

And he drops down. You see people around him just start like grabbing all his gear and everything. Whoa, cool, ElectroSword! If you're going to cheat, you've got a cheat fan. And then there's another mothership guard behind him, who looks pretty intimidated by the fact that you just took this guy down. He pulls out like a fucking energy rifle and takes two shots at you. First one to hit is a 21 to hit?

Does hit. Eight damage. Second is a natural one. Just misses and shoots his friend's dead body. Oh, fuck. Sorry, sir. Friendly fire. And as he misses his friend, my steel defender, Rover is going to attack, which I commanded him to do with my bonus action. Sweet.

17 to hit. 17 hits. Nice. 13 damage. Okay. This guy looks hurt, but he's still fighting. Just kicking at your little dog rover. A little pod fridge, whatever.

Fridge, yeah. Keggerator. Keggerator. A kegurata. After the ox and the mothership night, That is Adam. Adam, Ram, go ahead and give me a perception check. You got it.

Not a Constitution check? To keep it in. Too late for that. I can go all night. 18. 18. Okay. Adam, you see between your makeouts, you are on high alert making sure to do your job.

Since you're gathering this kind of crowd, it is more noticeable that there are these jailbreaker goons. These are not high-ranking members. Their parts are rusty and mismatching. One guy has like a brass chest plate, one steel leg cover, and the other one is like black iron. And you see in this group there's also one that's like a short bot with skinny arms and legs and like a ball-shaped body with a visor in the middle. It's wearing a trench coat.

But as you look closer, you see that the arms are empty because he's hiding a laser pistol inside. And he's getting ready to shoot it. It looks like he's aiming up at Big Minis. motorcycle while she's got slug. Oh, no. But you act first, believe it or not, because they got a six. Wow. That initiative score helps in the end. Let's see here.

I think I'm going to extract my jack-in cord. Was it good for you? The best I've ever had. Here, call me. I'm going to hand them a little microchip. And then as I do that, I'm going to say, whoa, look over there. mascot is doing a crazy dance. Wow, that's awesome. There's nothing I love more after sex than watching a mascot dance.

Mascots, mascots, mascots. You see there's a robot doing the robot. People are going crazy. That's awesome. You love to see that. That is good. And while they're all distracted by that, I'm going to extend my right arm and transform it into a sniper rifle. Cool.

Yeah. And I am going to take two shots of this robot. Great. Yeah. Just a swarm of goons. Okay, I do not have disadvantage on this because of the mastery property for it. I'm playing a Spell Slinger, which is a Gunslinger subclass from Valdas Spire of Secrets, I believe. Okay, here we go.

23 and 22. Yeah. They just blast into these giggling idiots. 22 damage. 22 damage. Okay. You see, you fully take out two guys from the swarm. So they get less attacks.

You see episode one style, these stupid robots just go down super quick as blast them. They just like disassemble and fall. But three of them are still there. And is at the end of your turn or you got anything else? I think my cover is probably blown at this point. I'm going to cast Expeditious Retreat as a bonus action and get the fuck out of there. Okay. Run robot.

Yeah, that makes sense. As you blast these dudes, you see a bunch of the jailbreakers around. You start looking around trying to see where all the shootings coming from and you start to take off. Sorry, I've got a meeting before. breakfast. In the meantime, these goons are going to take shots at Big Minnie's motorcycle. Oh, boy. Mini, Big Minnie. First one misses. Second one misses.

You don't fuck with Big Minnie. Third one hits. They're going to roll 2D8. I'm going to roll this in front of the table. If they get a 10, she has to roll on the mishap table. And it is possible that you will lose your motorcycle end that 60 feet. So if it's less than 10, her motorcycle stays standing and we'll be okay. If it's 10, we're going to roll on the mishap table. I'll roll in front of the table. It's 10 exactly. That is 10 exactly.

Roll on the mishap table, go ahead and roll D20 M. 18. Okay, that is a damaged axle. The vehicle grinds and shakes uncontrollably until the mishap ends. The vehicle has disadvantage on all dexterity checks and all ability checks and attack rolls made by creatures on or inside the vehicle have disadvantage. So that's okay for now. So you see Minnie goes like, oh fuck!

Oh no! Speed's the same though. Looks like it's just an axle from here. Speed is the same, but you see her wheels are wobbling. Oh, this is going to be expensive to fix. Big Minnie, this is when you drive. This is when I drive! Remember your training. We practiced wobbling all day. Yeah, she gets down and tries to start like fixing it.

It starts wobbling uncontrollably. But they're okay. Okay. After the goons, that is back up to the top of the order. Slug and speed. We're going to decide right now who wins. I am going to take a small detour to attack the other team's motorcycle. Ooh.

Okay. I will say as you do that, you are about to pass the pack, which are the blockers. There are three blockers on each team that are trying to grab the other team Skitcher and slow her down. Your three are these big jacked powerlifter women with goggles and. cybernetic equipment. This is the Hampson sisters. You hear a Betty XL yells in your ear and goes,

Sir, do you want us to try to grab speed or just take out their blockers, sir? Take out their blockers. Yes, sir. You see the Hampson sisters start going ham. They're going to do a contested athletics checks. I love those women, but they get dirty handprints on everything.

Okay. 1919 and 15. One of the Hampson sisters goes in too hot and balls down, trying to scrap with one of the jailbreakers. One of the jailbreakers blockers, thus is free and is going to try to grab you. She's going to try a shove attack. Contested Athletics, if you fail, you'll lose 10 feet of movement. Fucking nine.

23. Yeah, you literally blow. Blow through her, just limbs fly in all directions. Hey, that was fun. You gave me a little bit more of a hard time than the hurdles. Oh, my life. It's over. I see everything.

No, don't give up. Just go back to the G-League. Okay. It starts crawling over to the sign-ups. Okay, so you join Big Mini. You start going around the corner, but the motorcycle is there waiting for Spithree. Yeah, I want to attack it.

Okay. Nice. Okay, I'm going to attack recklessly, because we're ending this term. In 19, I have the feat focused critical, so that is a critical hit. Jesus. Okay, yeah, you just like,

shoot right in like the tank. Um, fuck. Okay, 40 damage on the first hit. And then it's got to do a con save to not fall prone. And because of that, I actually do get, because I'm in the ferocity serum, I get to cleave and make an extra attack just for free. Okay, cool. Here's the thing, though, Slug. The motorcycles are super hard to hit because they're really fast.

So they have AC23. Yeah. They have 30 HP. So you fully blunt. up this motorcycle and send the biker just into the crowd on fire. That's our slog. I give like a real winning smile at the drone cam, but again, I'm missing one of my front team. Hell of you.

What would you like to do with the rest of your turn? I'm just going to sheathe my hockey stick, take out a hand axe and throw it back at. Just a regular ass axe? Yeah, there's not so many. weapons that are tron. Oh, I might not hit. 16? 16, she dodges out of the way.

It will take a much more advanced weapon than that to hit me. You don't got a motorcycle. And then I'm going to use my movement 50 feet and then a bonus action adrenaline rush dash another 50 feet. So that's 100 feet. Jesus. Okay. So you ride around big mini gives you 60 extra feet of movement.

Spathreed cannot catch you without a motorcycle. way behind, starts falling behind. No, no, I'm efficient. Yeah, you are efficient. Yeah, we'll put that on your silver medal. You whip around the corner with big minis motorcycle barely hanging on, just wobbling. It fully explodes, but as you guys cross the finish line,

you, ox, you are still in the section with the kill screen. Adam, you go over and join him. Everybody starts going wild. You got this slugs. You see the jailbreakers start, like, riding, just, like, throwing things down in the rink. There's a fight instantly. Everyone starts fighting.

I pour Gatorade on the Hampson sisters. But it's, like, full of steroids. Sir, it's an honor, sir, to do steroids with you. Ladies, please wash her hands. Everyone's doing steroids. Everyone's cheering. Box, you see the little box that you got when you placed your bet. Oh.

It says, congratulations. You win. payment processing. As you begin to hear the sounds of a drop ship overhead. Guys, we got a jet. Closer. We got to get out of here. There's a drop ship company. No, I still got it to do. Let's go.

Let's go. Finally, ding. Kill screen out. The gold hits your account. 4,000 gold. You see the roof explodes. Mothership nights start repelling down. People start yelling, cheese it. You guys all start running, scatter

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help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash Pawpaw. That is RocketMoney.com slash pawpaw. One more time, why not? Rocketmoney.com slash paupaw. Thanks, everybody. Do you need me to fix the axle now. Yeah, that'd be great. And I guess like congrats on yet another connection in the stands. Another notch on the old circuit board. You see that Adam does have little notches for every conquest he's had. You scam. You're an absolute scam. Okay, so this is huge, though, because beyond the money, which trust me, I love the money, we're going to get uniforms for our youth league.

But beyond the money, we're getting Intel, right? Oh, yeah. Aren't we getting tapped into something special? Juicy info. Hey, what happened? What do you ask? What do you mean? I mean... Did you fuck anyone?

Oh, I... Of course I did. Who? What's that supposed to mean? You see Rover starts buzzing backwards? You were there, you were there, Rover? It was when you were in the bathroom. Oh, my God. Wait, you fucked someone, too?

Yeah, we're all getting late. I'm not getting late. I'm out there hooping it. I'm out there hoping it so we can make bank. You're a liar. You're a liar, Rova. Everybody knows you're a liar. You know you'll have your pick after this.

Yeah, I know, I know. You'll get all the glory. You just all got late. It was strictly business for me, not for ox. It was really emotional for me. Really? Yeah. When is it not, though, with you?

What is it, Rova? Beep, beep. He needs to go. He's got to get to a charging port or something. Hey, wait a minute, what the fuck? Where is my cut water? What happened to it? You're what?

I was saving that. My cut water. It's a teaky drink. Rover, come on. Beep, beep, beep. I tell you what, I can't understand a thing he beeps. I'm telling you what he's saying. He said he drank and he said he's sorry.

That is true. That is what he said. I know what Rova says. So that night, you guys go back to Zone 1, back to your headquarters. Way number 1. Do you guys want to describe what your HQ looks like and what you're each doing in it? Oh, yes. What do we go in reverse order?

Adam, you want to talk about your sort of area and what the space looks like? Of course. I handle most of the front of the legitimate business here. So I go and make my rounds on all the arcade cabinets. I cast mending on the ones that have been kicked or punched when people are too angry at the results. Sorry about that. That was me. It's okay. There's a ghost and goblins that's like so hard

and so you constantly have to fix that because people are always punching the screen. Oh yes. Oh somebody pissed all over the E-GADs, ghouls ate my neighbors. Sorry, that was me too. Come on, I thought it was the between you and the Hamson sisters. It's just real trouble. It's one thing after another. We're gamers.

I can't get mad at you for being a gamer. And then I go and I dust off all of the prizes on the prize counter. There's also a mini electric guitar and a little neon sign that says dudes rock. I think probably the last thing I do is I place all of our winnings in like a super secure vault or something like that. Maybe just inside myself. Yeah. Oh, nice. You're the vault. Yum. Gratits. Plays 4,000 credits right in your chest. Oh yeah, I bet 2000. I hope you guys don't mind.

Honestly, I'm glad he did. I put some money on myself. Good for you. And then there's also like a backhouse, almost like a mechanics garage. I think what Ox does is like when any machine is down or needs repair, it gets wheeled into the back where he's like welding and tinkering has all of his stuff back there. So it's like a little grease garage. Hell yeah. Yeah, you see the motorcycle is fucked up. Big mini looks at it.

Yeah, I know how to drive these things, but I don't really know how they work. It's all right. It's just an axle. I figured out. You're tracking grease in everywhere. Just needs some more grease in you I just need to more grease, okay She just starts pouring grease all over the motorbike

You're like, okay, well not right there She wants to learn I'm trying to learn I'm trying to learn, I'm trying to learn, but I'm born, I'm born You're trying to learn and are you pulling Game Boy? Do you want to leave? Okay, yeah All right, I'll clean it up and I'll tell you what it's done I want to learn you say it in a fun way

All right Teach it in a fun way That robot I hooked up with had some children That were dustbusters, maybe I should hire them Oh, that's cool I think I met the robot that you cuck. What? Oh, that's a different marking.

Here, can you help me put that one on the other side? Yeah. It's a little C. And then Slug, what do you do at the headquarters? So I think behind the arcade, I got a half pipe that I sort of practiced my inline skating on. Yeah, this whole place is very foot clan higher from TMNT1, arcade with a half pipe and a bar in it. But then I think like underneath the platform I got like, because, I'm a bit of an alchemist.

They dabble in, you know, syringes of alchemical augmentation and compounds. And I make energy drinks. So I got a station. Who took my battery acid? That's me. It's going to God use. And I think I also, I think I have like a nest of bean bag chairs that I kind of like sleep in. Sure.

And then I also think that I've. It smells awful. I've draft. Yeah, because how do you wash it? It's full of beans. You put it through the dishwasher. It doesn't fit in the dishwash. You gotta spray it with something.

You gotta spray it with something. A bean bag chairs full of beans. I think I've also dragged a couple claw machines back because I love slash hate the claw machine. So I'm just like always getting really mad at the claw machines and freaking out on them. When you get back, you see a couple of claw machines are missing. We've talked about this.

And there's just a huge fucked up line in the rug. Adam, Adam, I just need more time with them. I'm gonna figure them out. I just need more time. They're going to strangle you if you're not careful. I program them to be extra day. Yeah, well, you want to know what? The glass is keeping them safe.

I get rid of the glass. It's a different game. Then you're the claw. Wait a minute. Yeah, then I'm the claw. We could charge money for this. This is actually something. You're on to something here.

Thank you, Ed. And Slug, as you're playing the claw game near the half-type, you do... Go give me a slight of hand with disadvantage. Okay. It's my kryptonite. Shout out to the two, girl. Okay.

I just fixed that, machine. Yeah, the claw goes down and does a real limp grab of an iPhone box. No, I want that iPhone box. It's supposed to grab it. It's supposed to grab it. It's supposed to grab it. I got this one. I got that. I got that. No, I don't got it. I don't got it.

You're jiggling the handle too hard. You also see there's from kids in the area and everything. They've got their own roller jam, cyber skitch team. You've been saving up money, buying them equipment. Yeah, because every respectable business, which is what We, the kill screens gang is. So respectable.

As a youth league. So we got a cyber skitch youth league. I'm thinking we call him the kill screen kiddos. That's nice. That's really smart. Kill screen kiddos, go. Slug, I'm just like you. He goes off the half pipe, tries a 900 McTwist.

I was going to do an athletics check. Oh, no elbow patch. Gets a seven, lands fully on his head, but is wearing a helmet because you bought him a helmet. That's so safe. The helmet explodes. That's fine. That's what they're supposed to do. Wow, I'm okay.

I run over and I'm like, you look like you need this. And I take out a deeply caffeinated energy drink. Wow, gee, thanks. It's all I need. I don't need to drink water for days. Drinks it, goes up and tries another flip. Yes, none of us need water. You see, as the night is winding down, you guys let people, like, stay nearby and everything.

There's, like, a lot of people that, like, don't have places to go. so there's like, you know, people kind of like settling up in like the corners of the arcade and everything. We got a lot of stinky beanbag cheers. Yeah, a lot of stinky bean bag chairs around. You can always pull up with beanbag. There's a bottle of Fabrese if anyone needs it. No, I actually used it in one of my alchemical things. Sorry.

Battery acid in Frize, you'd be surprised. I noticed your fatt smelled a lot better. Thank you. That's what it's for. Just as poisonous, but better smelling. Fresh laundry. As everything is like quieting down. and you guys are like officially closed,

you hear the jingle of the bell of the door, like someone has, like, cracked it open. You look, and you see a sater, a little older, got some wrinkle and character on her face, long white hair spills over horns, that she's altered with cyber tech.

They look kind of metal with lights around them. She's got on what looked like expensive fur boots, but they're actually three, white hooves. She wears a long black trench coat. The boots with the fur. Yeah, she's got the boots with the fur. She's got a black trench coat and a black beret with like a little half veil and she's

smoking a long electronic cigarettes. This is Spector. She's a friend. She used to be part of a gang called the Red Trip that was taken over by another gang in Zone 4. Now she does freelance hacking for all of the crews. Spector, good to see you. Good to see you. Good to you all, kids. Would you like some AK-47 bubble gum? You said you were saving that. I'm all right. You're still open for business, I hope. She flashes a little drive. Is this our winnings? This is your winnings. The jailbreakers really wanted this. Well, we wanted it more. Yes. Jailbreakers wanted something else, too.

Oh, where manners? I pull up a beanbag chair. No. No, thank you. I'm okay. No. It is. Yeah, no. If you need it. Uh-huh. Before we go any further, I need you to burn that beanbag chair. Okay. Actually, don't.

It'll fill the air with a smoke. You know what? Why don't we go up to... It's too late. I bought it. Oh, it's... It's catching. All right.

Put it out. The Fabrize is very flammable. Put it out. How'd you light it out? Buy it so fast. All right. Shall we, why don't we go up to the old man's office? For old time's sake?

Oh. You know, I don't like going. up there anymore. Yeah, we haven't been in there since. Yeah, we haven't touched it. We left it as he is. Well, you're the leaders now, so. Oh, she. I suppose that's true, but

fine, you go first. Yeah, you go first. Wait, now it looks like we want to watch a walk on the stairs. Oh, wait, I'll go to the top of the stairs, but then I'll open the door. You little purse. I go to the top of the stairs, and then I just open the door. No, I swear that came out so wrong. Okay, no, let's, we can fix this.

Everybody bow really deeply and say, after you, my lady. I'm sorry. I feel like a horse's ass. No offense. All right. I'm going to run up the stairs and just go in, all right? Okay, I'm closing my eyes so tight. Okay.

All right. I can't close my eye. I do not have an eyelid. You guys walk up the stairs to this lofted office space over the arcade. And you creak open the door. This has not been used much lately. Shit, boys. Hard to be back in here.

Yeah. Yeah. It is pretty dusty. There are a few computers. and monitors set up on a messy desk. The lights are flickering neon tubes and line the edges of the ceiling. There are various servers and humming machinery. There's also a trophy case with old framed pictures on it.

You see Spector walks over and dusts one off and goes, ah, the good old days before mothership. You see she flashes the picture, and it's from about 10. years ago, you guys were at Jimmy's Tavern in Zone 3. Oh, yeah. Jimmy of the South Avenue, Jimmy's. In front of the picture, all of the leaders sit in stools. You see your old leader, Sir Elmer.

This gruff halfling with a gun arm and torn green tabbard over rusty armor. He's next to a dwarf woman with a metal visor and a huge arcane blunderbuss. Next to her, there's a gnome in suspenders with brass nucks and a half. half-metal skull. There's also a rusty brass robot man with a purple arcane battery and a jacked goat man with red fur and a celebratory expression. He's got like a mug of beer and is lifting it up. And you see Spector kind of pause at it and goes,

your Elmer is dead. Old Blunderbuss is dead. And Eddie's suffered perhaps a fate worse than death. Is that picture? Is that the closest we ever came to? a proper truce. I mean, times were good for a minute there, weren't they?

Yes. We all talked. We were civil. People wiped their feet before they went inside. Some. Yeah. You guys remember this time. So the dwarf woman was named

You're a Flintbuster. She was the leader of the gang Hammer and Circuits. She has died recently. And in her place, her nickname was Old Blunderbuss. and her son is young blunderbuss, but people call him young blunderer because he's like a fuck up.

And your guy's relationship with that crew has been way worse since old blunderbuss died. What about how did our mentor pass? Your mentor passed under pretty suspicious circumstances. So it was about like a year ago when these mothership raids started, OX, you had developed some tech. to be able to, like, track mothership movements and whatnot.

So you knew when, like, the drop ship was coming, for instance, you know for a fact that mothership was not there on the night he died, or at least normal mothership soldiers went there on the night he died. He went to pick up something in contested territory, disappeared, and when you found his body, there was evidence that he had multiple attackers. Look like it was done by a bunch of people. There was no footage, which is suspicious. Yeah, there's cameras everywhere in this world.

Yes, I am a camera. Are you? Yeah. Do you guys want a picture real quick? No? No, I didn't consent. Yes, no pictures, please. Right, okay, deleting all the pictures I've taken thus far.

Okay, I think I don't want to see a couple. Yeah, let me see them. Yeah, I want to see them before you delete it. They eject from the dollar slot on me. Oh, Ox, you're taking it. You're hugging the whole frame. That's I have a big tail. Yeah, your tail's blocking me and the Seda.

I can't control it. And then there's the gnome and suspenders that is James of the South Avenue Jimmies. He is still alive, but he's got some like lieutenants and stuff that he is currently feuding with. The rusty brass robot man is named Renegade, but with threes instead of E's, of course. And he's the head of the jailbreakers. And he's still ahead of the jailbreakers? Still ahead of the jailbreakers. And he's called R3.

or three. And then who Spector just referred to as Eddie, this goat man. He was part of a gang called the Red Trip with Scepter. And they were chased out of Zone 4. Or rather, they were like consumed by a larger gang called the Blackfire Carnival. And they've taken over Zone 4 and they don't work with anybody. So that gang is gone. That gang is gone. Eddie is still alive. Eddie, from what you remember, is. like a very charismatic, just like fucking a party dude. Like kind of a hedonist. Yes. And has been kind of paid off to dissolve his gang. And so he still lives in Zone 4, but his gang is no more. What's the gimmick of the Blackfire Carnival?

They are goth, clowns, very juggalo adjacent. I'm leaving the gang. But you know it's actually, so Zone 4 used to be like the real party area of downtown. And now it has become like cyber cafes where people go and just put on like VR goggles and

have basically like electrodes on them where they can like simulate having a party or like having sex or something. They ruled it. Yeah. Why do you simulate when you can stimulate? I say as I drink an energy drink. Amen, sister. You see Spector pours

a glass of scotch and shoots it back. She puts the picture down. All right, enough about the past. Let's talk about the future. Yes. You see, she flashes this little drive. I received a piece of cyberware

off of a junked mothership enforcer. Somebody messed up sending this thing on patrol because I think it was personal security for high-ranking executives. Because it had insider info. I'm talking a map of the mothership HQ, dates for important events, the location of Petunia Glenbottles safe, and the contents they're in. What are the contents?

I hear that the mayor is sitting on 10 million credits. It's 10 million, but how many credits is that? Yeah, what's that in credits? We only care about credits. What's that wrong? I meant credit. Oh, okay. 10 million credits.

I want those inside me. Sorry, I just, the scotch went down. I've been drinking all night. Okay, okay, so where is the location over safe? Well, it's on the 13th floor of the Mothership HQ. In three days, there's a gala to celebrate her first year as mayor. If you can disguise yourself as guests, you'll have a plausible reason to be there, and security will be distracted.

You see, she takes the drive and puts it on the desk, and goes to slide it over you, but puts her finger on it, and goes, this information, of course, is yours, as per the bet. The problem is Petunia's safe needs a fingerprint, and I might be able to help you with that for a price. We'll just cut off her finger. Well... Whose finger does it need?

Yeah, whose finger is it? It needs Petunia Glenbott. Okay, so what's your angle on that? So, yeah, how do you have access to a finger? Did you cut it off already? Do you have a finger? Can we see it? I just, I don't have a finger. Which one do you have?

ring on it. Can you have the ring that's on the finger? No, it's a thumb because the thumb is not a finger. Let's go ahead and pause. Let's go ahead and pause. You see, she does a time out with her hands. Okay. I go so quiet.

I sit cross-legged in a bean bag. Yeah, yeah, all right. I thought I said no more bean bags, okay? I brought this one up just in case someone wanted to use it out. Now the whole room smells back, right? That was supposed to be a prize beanbag. You're dead mentor and you made his room stink. I didn't want to sit in his chair.

Turns to you Adam and goes, don't try to fight Petunia Glenn bottle. She might just look like a regular business person, but she is highly, highly dangerous and highly augmented. Understood. But she goes, if you hire me as your hacker, we split the spoils four ways, and I can help you.

Okay, okay. Can I do an insight? I mean, we have a preexisting relationship with her. Maybe I don't feel like I need to do an insight. Sure. There's a part of me that's like, You can do an inside check and you can do it with advantage because you do no Spector. Okay.

16. 16. Okay. Spector was part of the Red Trip with Eddie. They had sort of an on and off relationship. The Red Trip was probably, it was like a gang of goat people mostly, like Saders and goats. And they were pretty closely aligned with you guys. Like you guys never really had a problem with.

Eddie or Spector. Spector now sort of exists between worlds, but prefers you guys over the other gangs. She's in it for the money, but under it you suspect there's a heart. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I mean, how can we help you acquire this fingerprint? I'm glad you asked. She pulls out, it's almost like a bag of holding, but it's a case. She plops it down, cracks it open, opens it up, and she pulls out a disgusting, like, glove that looks like skin. Oh. Oh, that's a tiny beanbag. Sorry.

Yes. Pretty awful. It's called a memory mitt. You shake someone's hand with it while you're wearing this, and you get their fingerprint. You attend at the party. You get a handshake, steal a few key cards, sneak up to the mayor's office, and boom, we're 10 million Gretit's richer. Does the grip matter?

Because I have a hard time modulating my grip. A hard grip honestly might be better. You just have to make sure you don't do anything because it will sort of memorize the last thing that you grab. So put it on. Store it. Perfect.

She's ruined four strength tester machines. I beat them. I beat them, Adam. Call it like dead eggs. And I gave you the prizes accordingly. I beat them at death. I had to fix them afterwards. I won't need much.

Give me a day or so. I'll fix this room up as my workspace, if that's all right with you? Temporarily. Yeah. What are you, what kind of renovations? What are the proposed changes? I mean, it's pretty nice as it is. Like it, it doesn't need dusting.

Just don't. We'll dust it. It's just, I'm not just. Just don't, don't, don't empty the waste basket, because that's his last waste basket. All right. Yes. Kids, look.

Yeah. Don't drink that half-drank diet coat. Okay, we'll leave the diet coat. It's evaporating. Yeah, and that's reminding us. Can you not, don't touch the paper plate? I understand. That was his last snack.

Hey, look, all right? I brought him that snack. Okay, he brought him that snack. We're going to leave it. We're going to leave it rotting on the desk, okay? I'm going to work in here with it smelling like shit, with food rotting on the desk. It was cream cheese on cucumbers.

It was cream cheese on cucumbers and it's brown now. Also in his, in his bathroom. There's a dump in there that you don't want me to flush? I put sarin wrap over it. It was like a number one, but it like sat there so long. that has become more like a number two. It's sort of orange. Yeah, she goes and goes in good looks.

It's orange. She drank a lot of Diet Coke. But, yeah, Adam puts her ran wrap over there. Yes. It's still. So he can use the bathroom downstairs. Or you can use the sink up here, too. Okay, you can use the sink.

So your hideout is like an arcade with a half pipe. So there's like the one office is just, you know, what I was kind of thinking that I would use. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And I think we were also thinking about. Okay, kill screen. Kill screen. Huddle up, huddle up, kill screens.

Yeah. Maybe we can scoop some of the pee out and then we can flush it. It does. Okay, okay. Okay, I'm glad that we're huddling up. Because it does seem like the bathroom is to stick in point forward. Yeah? Yeah.

Is that the most upsetting? I'm okay to flush. I'll, should we say some words? I don't, we could, oh, yeah. We could flush it. We could say some words. Right. Let's say some words.

We'll put the, we'll put the cucumbers in the toilet and we'll say some words and we'll flush it because it is true. We have lingered too long as the underbosses. Okay. It is our turn. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. I think I'm in. I'm in.

Let's do it. We're just going to need a moment to say some words over the toilet. Yes. All right. Yeah. Do you want me to leave? Yes. Okay.

I don't really particularly want to be here anyway. I'm going to go out and buy some like monitors and whatnot. Okay. Oh, yeah. All right. Yeah. And you guys are going to flush pee? Yes.

It's a ceremony. Ceremony. Okay, good. Talk to Clunky. Talk to Clunky at the Best Buy. I'll talk to Clunky at the Best Buy. Oh, yeah, he's a lover of Adamia, so it'll keep up with a 50. Things have gotten so bad that now we're like, Best Buy is the good guy, right?

When Best Buy first showed up in Neo Galateron, we were like, fuck Best Buy. Yeah, what is this thing? But now they're part of the resistance. When I go to see Clunky at Best Buy, I say, there's my best guy. I remember you the pay phone in the Best Buy pocket lot. Clunky's not bad. I'm going to go talk to clunky. Okay.

Thank you. Don't mention Adam. I had falling out. Specter leaves. And you guys are left in this office. In the bathroom. And you guys are in the bathroom of this office. It's been about a year, close to a year, basically like once mothership at this point has like firmly established a foothold.

But there was like a battle sort of initially with resistance when they were first coming in and that is when Sir Elmer went down under mysterious circumstances, just went for sort of a what seemed like it was going to be like a regular transaction and never came back. So maybe we just kind of grab hands around the toilet? You guys grab hands around this toilet. You have not flushed the office bathroom. Who wants to start? Rova, Rova, come in here.

Rover, you can come to. Yeah, Rova. This is about you too. Beep, boop, boob, me. I know, Bova. I miss them too. I guess maybe I'll just say, hey, Elma, I was kind of just a crazy kid running around the alleys with too much energy and you saw me, you took me in, you let me learn how to inline skate on that half pipe

and gave me free access to it and now I'm drowning in credits. And I got to cost to fight for now. I got something to put all my energy to now. So thank you. Yeah. Slug, you have a quick flashback as you were looking at this piss in the toilet. Yeah. Maybe I see it in the like the pissing the toilet ripples.

It's kind of like in Lord of the Rings when they look into something. Yeah, you have a flashback to when you were like a street tough like outside the arcade skating around. Getting in trouble, getting thrown out for getting into fights with the claw machines. Yeah. And you're like sleeping outside. Yeah. One night, and you see Sir Elmer, you have this flash of this memory of him opening up the door. Sort of this gruff, halfling guy.

He's got this, like, green taberd on and rusty armor and this giant gun arm. And he just looks out, looks around, and just goes, huh? Soip inside. Inside? Yeah. But I get, I just got drawn out because of a claw machine. Yeah.

Stop messing with a clown. machine is slip inside. Okay, I think Slug gets put so much effort into being like bigger and tougher and all the things she's afraid of, but this is kind of unexpected and pretty kind, so it's disarming. So I think for a moment she kind of drops the act and looks less like a street tough and more like a kid play act than one. Good inside. Okay, yeah. Hey, if I go inside, maybe I could help you kick people out instead of getting kicked out?

Yeah, well, we'll talk about it tomorrow. It's cold out. Yeah, yeah, and it's warm in there. And then I think that she suddenly becomes aware that anyone could be watching, so she, like, puts back on her tough guy at. And she's just like, yeah, okay, whatever, I could do that. Who cares? I don't care. And then I kick the wall and then I run and jump into a beanbag chair and fall immediately into a deep, deep sleep. Yeah. You fall into a deep, deep sleep in the beanbag chairs. And since then, you fully have a bed.

You live here. You have like a spot at the arcade. You started working in the arcade after that. But I think maybe it's just like kind of a reminder of your beginnings. You still sleep in the beanbag chairs. Yeah, yeah. It was the best night of sleep I ever got. And Ox.

what do you do as you are staring into this orange piss and the toilet I stare I stare into the bowl of piss and I see a flashback of me as a young fox

nobody to call my own just fucking around behind the arcade games trying to cheat to get my name up on the screen unplugging the game to raise the high scores so I can play

yeah you see as you as you are back there, like, fiddling with it, you just feel a tap with a gun arm on your shoulder. I wasn't doing nothing. What are you doing on there? I wasn't doing nothing. I was checking to see if it was plugged in. You're trying to cheat the high scores?

No, I was just trying to see how the game works. You're trying to cheat the high scores, weren't you? No, I was just trying to see how the game works. You know how these things work? No. You're lying to me? You know how these games work. I know how to unplug and plug it back in so I can get on the scoreboard.

He grabs you by like the back of the shirt and carries you over. You see a broken ghosts and goblins machine. Somebody has punched out the screen. He goes, making you fix this? Nobody's ever given Ox, like time and space and a task. He's had so much energy and just leaving him in front of this and saying this is a problem, you figure it out. ox is able to like focus his energy he kneels down next to the machine

and he starts tinkering and immediately shocks himself ow fuck that's okay I don't know how these things work look you fix up the games every once in a while you can play him for free I'll pay to fix the games okay

stop stop fucking around right okay all right you're all right hey thanks all right thanks sir yeah okay and ox never live You also have a flashback of the toilet.

Hey, hey, Alex, my piss clogged the toilet. I'm heading out to some shady dealings. I clog the toilet with thick piss. All right, you want me to flush it or you want me to never flush it? You know what? Fush it when I get back. He links at you. Oh, man.

He walks out the door. A ripple of piss. And then we cut to Adam. I think Adam is going to cast silent image on the top of the toilet and a little picture frame of Sir Elmer appears with two like candles flickering. He looks like so grumpy.

Sir Elmer gave me the shirt on my back and the arms attached to it and everything else. He was a father to me. I'll never forget the day that I came online and I saw a beautiful Hawaiian shirt hanging above the prize counter and he gave it to me and said, you work here now. Wow.

Yeah, you see it cut back to, it just starts like banging on this out of your head and you suddenly wake up and goes, I give you feelings. Hello. You're a coin machine, but I give you feelings. Or you're my father. You're more than that now.

I don't know. Look. You have feelings now, right? Okay. All right. What do I do with them? They hurt, and they feel bad. Yeah, stuff hurts all the time.

I... Stuff hurts all the time. There is a pain, and I cannot make it go away, but there is also a warmth and a joy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, man. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, to that.

How old are that to that. That's awesome. You know what? Yes, the shit rocks. When you say cool stuff like that, Mason wanted to give you a shirt. Mason wanted to give you a shirt. fucking shirt, man. But that's a prize. I haven't earned the prize. Hey, I think you have. I think

you've earned a prize of a shirt with a tiger. Smoking fucking cigarettes, right? That shit kicks so much ass. That's what life's about, okay? You see, takes a shirt down, puts it around you. This is your spot now. You decide how much the prizes cost. People used to come to you, and they used to be like, give me coins and you can be like, no, you give me tickets, bitch. Am I allowed to say bitch? You can say it to the boys. But wait, like the big, actually just don't say it to anyone, probably.

Okay, all right. Yeah, then they'll get like a weird thing with their masculinity. You don't want that. You're right, no. This is a good place. We can say, bitch, if we're being like, cheeky, like, you know, in the back. Yeah, that rocks.

Okay, that's cool. Yeah, okay. Right. Check out these bitch and prizes. That's a perfect way to say it. If you want to say, check out these bitch and prizes. I think that's awesome. Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Elmer. All right. Keep on, keep it on. I clap him on the shoulder really hard. And then I, like, think about bringing him in for a hug, but then I just kind of like, bump him to my chest really quick. Yeah, all right. Good.

See you around. Hey, Alex. I call the total with piss again. Wow. All right. I won't touch it. And we flash back to the present where you guys are all around this toilet. Watching these memories.

Watching these memories together. Wow, it's tough to think he's totally gone. I think that this job could be a good way to lay his memory to rest. We can finally strike back against mothership. Yeah, because, you know, at the end of the day, I think he would have wanted us working together and bringing down mothership. And he actually, he might have been okay with us flush and his piss. Okay.

Now that I really think about it. Yeah. Okay. I think let's maybe, I'll put a point of finger on the flush. That's right. And then count of three, three, two, one, rest and piss. Rest and piss. You guys flush the toilets, a disgusting and yet somehow touching metaphor.

We're flushing more than just pissed because at least slug is weeping and her tears are joining his piss. You guys are moving on to sort of the acceptance phase as you share memories of your old mentor and prepare for your first big kid heist. And that's where we'll end our session. Yes. Wow, we're all. Really fun. I love it. Flushing the Piss is weirdly touching.

It's weirdly little touching segment. It's kind of beautiful. We'll talk about it more over on the short rest. That's over on patreon.com slash NADPOD. That's NEDD-D-P-O-D. Do not sing yet. We don't even think about it. We don't even think about it.

We have a show to plug. We've got Radio City Musicall coming up. Very soon. Very soon. April 10th, New York City. Radio City Music call, Nadpod.com slash live to get tickets. Does anyone have anything else? else to plug? I want to see your Adam

cosplay at that show. Oh, yeah. That's in Hawaiian shirt. Quick turnaround. Really quick turnaround. Quick turnaround costumes. Let's see them. All you need is one ATM machine. That's right. And you can follow us on social media there may or may not use. At CS first me. At Caldeys Caldwell. Atie Axford's Emily and at Jake Horwich is Jake.

And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod. That's NEDD-D-P-O-D. We are, we are. The Youth of the Nation. We are, we are. The Youth of the Nation. Greetings, Neo-Galateronians. The time has come to shout out our benevolent council of elders, and so we will broadcast their name throughout our fair city. Brad D., Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later, McS. Cutter W., Matt M., Olivia A.

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When I needed to let my barbarian just enjoy partying, I pulled from Jake's party time antics. Thanks for all the ins. Baruch Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Chubacabri! Capi B of the schooner, Lewis R. French. Richard E. Gins' left glove tailor. Boney is dead. The Waterworth, your four-legged Greg companion.

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Ben V. Prince Lagathor, the 3rd. Shinka Kitsune or Skyler, the only male Kitsune in Bohemia Laini S. Christopher K. Toxic Ghost. Daniel M. Chris A. is super stoked to see you all at Radio City. Can't wait to see you, Chris.

Angie H. Melissa A. and without porpoise. Woo! Folks, that is all our elders. Thank you all so, so much for your continued support. If you would like to join this illustrious council, you can do so by going to patreon.com. slash Nadpod. That's going to do it for us today, but don't worry, we'll be back here again with another episode next week. So until then, this is your good friend Caldwell, wishing you farewell

and hoping that you stay well. Until we meet again. Bye-bye. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hey, everyone. This is Natalie. And this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really, really very good. And now we have a year. YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at YouTube.com slash Exploration Live podcast. That means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component. Exactly. Where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing. You know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video. Body language experts to the

front. Exactly. So come check out X-person Live, either audio or video.