Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 10: The South Avenue Jimmies

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

The Kill Screens come face to face with the kingpin of Zone 3! Aux steals a line, Atom seduces a cannon, and Slug gets involved in a love triangle. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford"The Arcade" by Emily Axford."Synth Nights" by Emily Axford."Mothership" by Emily Axford."Cahoots with the Boots" by Emily Axford. "Zone 3" by Emily Axford"Nobody's Inn" by Emily Axford"Jimmy's Tavern" by Emily Axford"The Man Himself" by Emily Axford"The Rattlin' Snakes" by Emily Axford"The Red Fen" by Emily Axford"Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford"Aux" by Emily Axford"Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford"Slug" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey there, Natpoles. What if the fate of the universe depended on an adult man's ability to make a friend? That is the gist, well, part of it, of Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, the blockbuster sci-fi novel with a record-breaking film adaptation. Ryland, Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate mission. You might call it a Hail Mary, and if he fails, the earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment, or how to complete it. As his memories slowly return, it's up to him to solve an impossible scientific mystery. Basically, Rylan needs to stop a germ from eating the sun alongside a five-legged talking rock spider in a hamster ball. Come for the impossible mission. Stay for the friendship that makes it worth saving. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir is available now wherever books are sold.

Check it out. Thanks, everybody. This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after. the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bohemia, everybody. Oh, Bahamia. I'm going to stop. What do cars have to do with this? They're everywhere and also it's the 20th anniversary of cars. Is it? Really? Yes. Today? Like Owen Wilson's cars? Owen Wilson's cars. Today? I don't know if it's today. On this day? Or just this year? I just saw something online that it's this year. I can't speak to the... Of course your fucking algorithm would tell you that it It was the 20th anniversary of cars.

Can everyone just say happy fucking birthday Lightning McQueen, okay? Happy birthday year? My party full is overflowing with invites to cars celebration. Which one are you going to? Which watch party? Wow.

Frum, Froom, indeed. Okay. Do you think that Adam and Lightning McQueen could get together? I do. Continue. I do. I'm Brian Murphy, joined, as always, by Jay Kerwitz. Putting up a fuss with a sought-off blend of bus.

Also, Kana. Okay. Not very cars-based. Yeah. I was thinking about pivoting, but I don't know enough about cars. Making them say, ow, kachow. And then of course we've got Emily Axford. I was going to do a different one, but making them scream with Lightning McQueen.

Yeah. There you go. That's really good. Shout out. I met a car. You met a car? Yeah. The drill car.

That's true. Yeah, you met a car. And of course, we've got Caldo Tanner. Doing my thing in Radiator Springs. Yeah. It's Adam Lerl. Shout out. It's been 20 years, folks.

Yeah. 20 years since Cars grace the freaking silver screen. Oh, Derby Dame Honey, celebrating 20. Wow. Of cars. In parentheses. Of cars. Cachow, Cachow.

Cachow. Cachow. Of cars, of course. Yeah. I was going to say it's the end of the show for Carly Quinn and Pietro, which I thought would be nice and celebratory. We could say Carly Quinn. Carly Quinn could be.

She could be in cars. Shit. True. Yeah. 20 years since Carly Quinn. 20 years. Murph, why do you look so sad? You know, I don't know.

All right. Where are you, Mer? Where am I? I'm in Radioder Springs, baby. All right, let's go ahead and do a little recap. Okay. So last time, you guys continued your adventure in the mirror maze. You were ambushed by a mirror shade, but made quick work of the monster, despite it almost

convincing Adam that he was living in a simulation. It was rough. You successfully navigated the rest of the maze and found a bridge leading into Zone 3. Before you could cross it, you were descended on by Pietro and Carr. Lee Quinn. Cochow. Along with a bunch. Have you guys met my girlfriend?

Along with a bunch of their Blackfire followers. After turning down their offer to let you go in exchange for handing over the tech you stole, the clowns blew up the bridge and you launched into battle. You got the jump early on, knocking several acrobats off of the tightropes into the pit below, but the clowns fired back. Adam was knocked out and tossed into the chasm, then stabbed by a sword juggler who brought him to the edge of death. To the end?

That's the bad kind of edging. However, his friends were able to jump down to help. Ox bringing him back to life with a potion and slug succeeding in wrapping up Pietro and Carly Quinn in chains. Unable to escape, you eventually destroyed them, revealing the weird little dude. piloting them. Joystick, man. Slug had a long history with him. Always a dude with a fucking joystick.

The joystick is so big. You guys climbed out of the pit and began trekking towards zone three, and that's where we are now. Okay. Okay. I claimed a pack of cards against humanoidity. I think that I can retrofit it to be family friendly. Really?

Yes. How are we going to get rid of all the dildos? I'll just replace them with bananas and poops. That's fun. Oh, okay. Yeah. Kids go crazy for poop. I was trying to think of a word that, like, Dildo could turn into.

Ah, Dilly Dally. Okay. You found it. So you Dilly Dally at the Thanksgiving Day parade? That's pretty fun, though. It could be good for a rainy day. So you guys have just crawled out of this chasm, and you enter a tunnel. You suspect...

Bilbo. Dillbo, Lord of the Ring style. Yeah, wow. You use the mirror. like we're learning around here to swap the Ds into Bs. Who's Bilbo? Oh, let me tell you the tale.

So I read all of Lord of the Rings to Ox real quick. I have it stored in my memory banks so I do a recitation. Can we do the Simarillion next? So he has a weird, bad AI version of Lord of the Rings that sort of mixes up the characters

mixes it up with other fantasy properties. There's a lot of owls of gahoul in there. Yeah, I'm going to say Adam fully thinks that Lord of the Rings is the Owls of Goul. I think I get it. They are guardians. It's weird how many advertisements are in there. So they must get to camp half blood. Anyway, continue.

Okay. So you guys are in this tunnel now. You suspect there's going to be more clowns coming soon because they were like summoned by Pietro and Carlin. Didn't make it because you guys were so fast in the maze. But you guys can definitely hide deeper down in the path if you want to find an inlet or something and try to take a short rest or even patch up your wounds. Short rest would be very good.

Am I allowed to try to brew a potion during a short rest or do I have to do that on a long rest? I would allow you to do it for a short rest. Okay, I'm going to take out my soda gun and try to make some energy elixis. Okay, yes. So you light like a little Bunsen burner type thing and you start messing with your chemicals here in the cave.

I think all the talk of Christmas cigarettes has got me in the spirit. So I'm going to make an iced cranberry nicotine. Energy drink. Right on. Okay, give me a, like a tool proficiency check. Nine. Nine? Okay.

You fiddle with it and you get about halfway done, seeming like you're going to be able to make something. I'll say you can top it off with another check on like another short rest. Okay, I lose interest mid-project, not for the first time. Oh, I can work on this next time, too. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I can make a little circuit board or something. Oh, okay.

Whoa, zap electricity into my energy drinks. Right, like an electric kettle. Whoa. That thing would pack a punch. Okay. Anyway, I need to seriously heal myself. You were dead, man. Yeah.

I almost died. Guys, I wanted to ask about that, actually. Yeah. Do you think that Elmer went somewhere after he died? He never really talked about the afterlife or religion in general, but I don't know. To be honest, I think I've been picturing like the second we get to the airship, he's just there. He's hiding and he's going to play a prank on us. Or like maybe when we're driving around amongst the stars, like he makes the...

shape of one and he waves at us. Yeah, maybe he's in the sky. Yeah, maybe he's in the sky. And we could fly the airship to go see him. Yeah, maybe like when we're flying the ship and it rains, it's like he's pissing down on us from above. Oh, don't flush it. I don't know. What do you think?

Did you see anything? Did you see Elma? I didn't see anything. And that's what worries me. Maybe I won't be able to follow. I don't know if I have the pieces required. Oh I don't know Adam

I think you're just as much Whatever we are If Elma If I If Ix if we're going somewhere You're coming with us Yeah there's no afterlife without you Yeah

Thanks guys I would love to be able to piss from the sky with both of you But let's not do it yet Okay Yeah yeah No more dying bud Right Apologies I got sloppy back there

You know what though I went down and I didn't see nothing either. Maybe the door doesn't open us. We all go together. Okay. That sounds like a promise. Pinky's in? Pinky's in.

Okay. Pinky's in. Rova, you too. Bova, get that tail in here. Get that skinny tail in here. Rover comes over, puts a skinny tail into the little knucklehead. Our buxom lotus tattoos shine. I forgot about those.

Whoa. I didn't know they did that when we went together like that. I added a little jiggle. Damn. Go ahead and heal up. I'm back to full. Me too. But I'm out of hit dice.

I'm down to two hit dice because I got to save them and I'm at 28. Oh, damn. We have one more potion, I think. We do. Do you think I should take it, though? We don't know what awaits us with the jimmies. Okay. Okay.

We're going right into the crypto bar and grill. Bottoms up, I eat it. Great. So you get full HP with that 20 HP. Nice. If you take it as an action. Huge. Nice.

So, a few hours later, you guys begin making your way through this dark pathway again. As you do, go ahead and give me perception or investigation checks. 21. 22. Ha-ha. I punch ox on the shoulder. It's not a cup. Ow!

Oh. Matt one. Whoa. Which means I think I got to. of 20. Yeah. No, guys, I got it. Slug is just looking in the wrong direction.

Slug's, you've got glass on your lip from that potion. I see all this broken mirrors. That's where we were walking from. And chains, the corpse is hanging from them. Yeah. Right, we saw those too. Yeah, so Slug thinks you're walking into a zone with broken mirrors and dead clowns. I think it's a mirror of what we already done.

Oh, no. It's a circus graveyard. Adam gets scared too. So with you guys doing so well on your investigation checks, you guys see that this is not the only tunnel leading into zone three. It looks like there are more secret passages that converge here. And this implies that not only was then Jim facilitating, sneaking people in and out of zone four, but he's been doing it for other zones as well.

and with an above 20 check, it's pretty dark in here, but I'll say you guys have lights that you bring with you. Adam shines like a flashlight from his body. Some of us have blind sight. Slug is looking in the wrong direction, but theoretically could have seen this. She's just chirping like a bat at a wall. Sometimes you've got to look back to move forward.

That's why I studied history. It's beautiful. Name one history. Lord of the Rings. That's the one with owls in it, right? Yes, Bill Bowlebaggins. So as you inspect these tunnels with your high investigation checks, you see that there are footprints of dozens of people,

possibly as many as a few hundred, marching in a line. That doesn't seem good. Who marches in straight lines? Do these look like? Armies, clones, replicants, the mind-controlled. Mother ship soldiers. Yeah. Do these boots look like?

like they are standard issue. They do look like they're mothership soldiers. Wow. All of them freshly showered. Wait, so that actually tracks because we saw Jim at the gala. Uh-huh. So he's been in cahoots. Yeah.

With a boots. He's smart to go in cahoots with the boots. Oaks laughs really hard. You got to take the joy when you get it. That's good. I don't care who you are. That's good. She was quick, too, Adam.

Did you hear how quick it was? Put that on a card. I'm still looking in the wrong direction. Coots with the boots. I'm going to tell. Do you mind if I tell people I thought of that? Yeah, it's yours. You want it, it's yours.

I want to say it to a thin gym. What's mine is yours. Wow. Wow. You may not have full HP, but you're full of life. So you guys continue into the dark of the tunnel. Whoever else has passed through here has done it a few hours ago or possibly even longer. Okay.

Okay. So what do we remember about fighting these guys? Because that's what we're up against now, apparently. Or if there are multiple tunnels, maybe we don't go to the one that all the military is going through. So it all is converging. It looks like they're coming from different places, but they're all going to Zone 3. I see. So there's a whole network down here. Jim has been busy. All I know about the mothership troopers is they've got good gear. Yeah, heavily augmented.

Well, that is a weakness if you think about it. Gear can be stolen. By us. Okay. Okay. I don't know. Something to think about. Everybody give me inside checks.

15. 13. Six. Okay. I'll say slug, as you're going into zone three, you don't have as many, like, out-and-out allies here. Yeah. In, you know, in zone five, you had old drill. In zone four, you had Eddie.

going into Zone 3, a little bit more contentious, but also one of the more resistant areas to mothership. James, the leader of the South Avenue Jimmy's, does not fuck with mothership, is straight up old school and was like a rival of Elmer, but is very much a like, all right, we're going to do this. You want to do knives of guns, like that type of thing. So I wonder if we take this information that one of his goons is going around his back,

making deals with people he doesn't like to James. He's being undermined. Do you think we need to get some reconnaissance, maybe take some photos of where these troops are gathering? Yeah. Let's take a pick of the boots. Yeah. Because they're in cahoots. Yeah.

Okay, somebody has to press the button on my head. I can't reach it. Okay, but I can't be in the picture. I want to be in the picture, too. I want to be in the picture. Do you have a self-timer? You know, I'm going to use a selfie. thick to press the button so he can be in.

I have a back scratcher from the prize counter. Let me put my visor. Slug and ox stand, like the Reddit meme where people point at the thing. It's just ox and slug pointing at the muddy footprint. He's making like faces of absolute scandal. Like a couple of soy boys. Whoa. He wouldn't.

He did. Oh my God. Yeah. So you guys start gathering. evidence up here. Okay. And you see that these boots are leading to, you see, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You see the dull glow of neon from above and a ladder leading up to it. So I wonder if James even knows about this tunnel because we thought it was a tunnel connecting four to three, but what if it's a tunnel connecting thin Jim to his boots? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he does know. Yes, this all

seems like it's kept on the down low. Okay. I think we have to find out where those troops are so that we can report that. This is the one time where tattling is allowed. You guys, kill screens definitely are anti-tattling. Yeah, suddenly my code of conduct is being called in the question. I'll tell them, but you guys got to promise to both give me a dead arm when I do. Okay, okay.

Three-way dead arm. Shake on it. There's a big sign that says no tattling at the arcade. If they stole your quarter, we don't care. Steal another one. Figure it out. So we're going to be walking in through the crypto bar and grill. So there's a ladder leading up to something.

You don't know that they would just have you, based on what you saw in Zone 4 on the other side of this secret passage, which was like hidden away in a hatch, it doesn't seem like you're going to be like probably popping up right into the middle of the bar. So if you guys want to give me like perception checks to see if you can hear anything of what's up going on up ahead. 17. I just got a nine. Okay.

You can't hear much, but you hear the far off sound of like a toilet flushing. Okay. That's triggering at this point. Can I creep up and do like a stealth check? Yeah, yeah, yeah. See if I could just poke my head around? Yeah. All right.

That's 24. Ooh. OX. You climb up the ladder very quietly. Quiet as a fox. And you poke your head out and you see that there is a hole in a locked bathroom stall here. Oh, okay. All right, so we're just going into a stall.

Yes. All right, we're going to have to make it convincing when we come out. Okay. Like we were up to no good. All right, I'll say if ox is ahead and got an above a 20 can kind of look around a little bit and give you guys a heads up to give you advantage on your stealth role. Okay. So ox, you're able to like sneak out from under the stall.

There's a sign on that one that says it's out of order. So this looks like it's the way that they sneak down. You see the rest of the bathroom is empty right now. Or someone had just left. There's like the door kind of swings as someone has just walked out. It's empty. It's got like low neon lights. The room is dingy and dirty.

But it is actually like a little loud. there are TVs even in the bathroom blasting like the mothership news network and crypto tickers there are a few windows in here to the outside and there is a door that like I said was swinging that presumably leads into the main bar

and you definitely hear voices coming from in there in fact you hear some shouting and clattering a furniture as if there's some kind of argument happening in the bar Yeah. Oh, interesting.

Okay. So you guys, Slug and Adam, give me stealth checks with advantage to get up into the bar. Oh, gorgeous. Ooh, that's a Nat 20 with advantage. Wow.

I just look like a toilet. Yeah. That's a 24 for Slug. You guys are completely silent as you climb up this ladder and you join OX. You slide under the stall. You guys are in this bathroom.

You hear yelling and whatnot coming from the other side of the door. Can we make any of it out if I get closer to the door? If you get closer to the door, I'll tell you what. With as high of your stealth rolls, you'll need to make another one, but you can do it with advantage if you want to try to listen in. Yeah, I'll try it.

That's another 24. Okay, sick. You guys all get kind of set up Adam and Slug. You guys are standing by a window, getting ready to just boost ox out, and you guys just, like, ditch if need be. You go up to the door And I'll even say you crack it a little bit

To look out into the main bar area here And you see amongst this terrible bar With so many fucking TVs You see that there are Crypto is down Wildly down That's why they call Crypto Now it's down

Now it's up Wow now it's way up Now it's way down My God I like how glassy and dead All these men's eyes look up Okay, so it's a psychological roller coaster. Got it.

You see that not only are there a bunch of South Avenue jimmies, these gnome street tuffs, but there are also a ton of mothership soldiers in their crackling blue plate. And you see thin Jim. He's tall and skinny for a gnome. He wears these huge metal pants that are essentially like mech pants that are like super stiff. Wow, Metalchenko.

Yeah, he's got giant metal jankos, giant metal like suspenders, essentially. Well, Wallace and Gromit ass gnome. Yeah, very Wallace and Gromit coded. But he is talking to someone, and he looks a little nervous, and you see he goes, hey, hey, look, I let you guys in, just like I promised. You don't got to jerk me around here. And you kind of reposition your body, and you turn to the side, and you see that he is speaking to the prototype. Just a sharp exhale at breath. This tall, mechanically enhanced cyborg, bald, scarred head with tubes and wires, connecting him to a giant metal exoskeleton.

You see he raises a hand and lifts Thin Gym with telekinesis. Like just looks like he has power over like metal and machines essentially. So you see the augments in Thin Jim's body. like lift first like things inside of his body and start like pressing up against them then Jim is like ah come on man come on leave you alone and the prototype continues and goes uh speaks through a warped voice box and he says we trudge through the sewers this is unacceptable we need more troops more vehicles I want the trains running I want the walls toppled

The barriers down The checkpoints abandoned So that we can move freely Look look yeah yeah I understand I understand About that okay You know James And this is James

This ain't me okay James James don't like you guys that much He ain't just gonna let you pass through It was your job to deal with James. And then Jim

kind of blanches and goes Okay, okay, look I didn't know all this was gonna happen This was a long game These things Take a long time

You're out of time You have until sunrise James dies Or you die Understood Yeah, yeah Loud and clear Loud and clear

I'll get my guys I got it The prototype tosses him out of the bar with telekinesis through the front door, and Thin Jim goes to scramble off. And you see the remaining jimmies look like extremely nervous as the mothership soldiers begin to like set up shop here. We got to get out of here. They're all going to want to piss. While that was happening, I didn't want to interrupt you.

But this is what Slug's trying to do. She's trying to crack the window. Okay. But she also wants to try and press the... that button that take a picture. Oh, okay. Can I use encode thoughts? On who?

On this scene, essentially just to like record what's happening. Oh, interesting. So basically I get like an audio or a video file that I can export onto an SD card. I would definitely let you do that. All right. Okay. Okay. Yeah, so you're essentially casting an encode thoughts.

That's something you would normally do almost on someone else, right? No, you actually make, like, don't you make, like, a little, like, we call it brain spaghetti. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, we use that elder one, the brain spaghetti, right. Okay, so, yeah, so you straight up record this. So you guys have a fucking copy of Thin Jim saying that he's going to kill James for the prototype. Okay. Let's get, let's fucking beat me.

Let's cheese it. Let's go. Let's cheese it. Let's beep, beat. I'm out the window. Let's be fucking Swiss. Okay. So you guys.

Jump out the window. Swissly now. Just like Can the owls of the cool? You guys jump out the window here. Fly, shadow parks. You guys jump out. As you hit the alley here,

go ahead and give me an encounter check. Give me a D4 to see who's out here. And then we'll see how you guys want to deal with it. Okay. Okay. But you guys have not been spotted yet. Four. You see two mothership nights.

So knights in blue armor, along with a squad of Jimmy cutthroats. They have laser daggers and have their little newsboy caps and suspenders and stuff on. So these are more like the roguish, like assassin types, along with a couple of guards. Are they cyberpunk newsboy camps? Yes, of course. They've got neon around the outside and everything. Really sick. So you guys are in this alley.

let me know how you want to. These guys have not spotted you yet, but stealth, if you'd like to sneak by them. Do we see if there's a fire escape that we can kind of crawl up and maybe roof to roof it? You could definitely roof to... You can hoof it. Oh, God.

You're on fire today. I know you hate fire, but still. So he doesn't laugh. I'm allowed. If you guys would like to hoof it across the roofs, hoof it and roofing. Slugs, I need you to help me write new cards against humanoidity.

You can go ahead and make stealth checks. I'll say if one person wants to go ahead, you can get the other people advantage, kind of like ox just did. Do you want me to try to distract them by implanting a telepathic message, turn them against each other? That might be reaching,

but if you got something that could distract them, maybe. I'm going to telepathically into the cutthroat's mind, say, Finn Jim isn't that tall. He sucks. Oh my God. Okay, and try and make it seem like the, um, the mothership knights are saying that.

Got you. Okay. Go ahead and give me a deception check. Okay. My deception's pretty good. It's usually pretty good. I'll use, oh, actually, I'll use Maverick Spirit. I can add a D8 to this.

Okay. And I'll throw on my last built for success, too. Oh, wow. So that is an eight on the Maverick dice and a two on the gnome dice. That becomes a seven. 17 plus 5. Okay. So I'll roll.

They have a plus four to this. They need an 18 or higher. They do not get it. Nice. They got a 16, so it would have been bad. But you hear them go, what's supposed to be working together here? Why are you talking shit about our guy?

Saying he's not that tall. What? What are you talking about? They start getting into like a little bit of a tense argument. Like, look, if you want to have a pissing contest, I'm telling you, I can piss further. All right? Shit.

I don't know when piss got into this. I feel my competitive spirit being stalked. Wait, we can't flee yet. There might be a pissing contest. You guys want to take bets? They start literally having a pissing contest. We bet our pooled money against each other. They basically start like squabbling a little bit.

Go ahead and give me stealth checks with advantage. Wait, work at them. Oh, gorgeous. That's another Nat 20. Wow. I got a dirty 20. 22. Sick, you guys pass with flying colors.

So you guys start going roof to roof. And these buildings are even a little bit smaller because everything is gnome-sized here. So the rooftops are a little bit smaller. And as you guys exit this alley and enter Zone 3 proper, let me remind you about the gang that controls this area. The South Avenue Jimmy's of the Gas Lamp District, Gnom Street Tuffs, who love newsboy caps, suspenders, and breaking kneecaps. They almost exclusively call each other Jimmy, except their leader, the fearsome James, and old school. guy who commands and demands respect. So you guys

basically travel through a bunch of alleys here, avoiding like cut throats and brutes. And you see the mothership guards are mostly around thin gyms bar and grill because they don't want anything to come out until, from what it sounds

like from what the prototype was saying is like they want to move, and this is really bad for you guys. It sounds like they're trying to get an army through all of the zone. zones to either block zone one or maybe even invade zone one. But they're doing it right now without James's permission. So it seems like it's going a little bit slow.

And right now they're loading up at the crypto bar and grill. There's a bottleneck. Okay, because remember Eddie said everyone you got to stop mothership coming to find you is good. Like we got old rally. We got Eddie rousing up a crew. So we kind of need a resistance movement here. Yes, we have to speak with old James. Yeah, I don't think that we even, I mean, he hated Elma.

Elma hated him. I know, but it's a new era. I think that we can maybe lay aside the differences. Yeah, and just go back to fighting each other instead of fighting mothership. Yeah, yeah, with respectable things like hockey sticks and knives, not prototypes. Grass knuckles or something. Right, just breaking a few shins. Yeah.

And then we make some meat sauce. So you guys see this area has the same tech as the rest of the city, but it has this kind of old school flare to it. There are lamps that look like gas lamps, but are actually have like neon lights on the inside. There are carriages being led by these steam powered mechanical horses. It's very steampunk, peaky blinders. The streets are patrolled by tufts in newsboy caps with laser daggers and Tommy guns that shoot these electronic charges. You guys are heading towards James's, right? Yeah.

Jimmy's Tavern? Great. So you guys make your way to the town square. The centerpiece here is Jimmy's Tavern. This is James's bar. It's this massive old building actual gas lamps here all along the outside. There's a swinging wooden sign with a picture of a mug, spilling over with ale. You hear electronic fiddle music playing from inside.

And you see smoke coming out of the windows from vapes and cigars. within and you do see some people like milling about and everything i'll say you guys are like crouching on a rooftop right now um outside the tavern you see two burly jimmy brutes these like buff gnomes uh with Tommy guns all right um if there's like a page boy cap that's been discarded anywhere and anything i just want to kind of grab it from the alley floor okay go head and give me, we'll say toss it on kind of like and hide beneath it like

Aragon. Oh, Aragon. Eragon, yeah. The dragon from the book. Aragon from Lord of the Rings. Aragon the dragon that hides underneath the hood. And his sword, Samwise. Can I use my disguise kit to aid with that? Yeah, go ahead and give

me a deception check from Adam and give me an investigation check from Slug. That's an eight. Okay. So 21 for the deception. I make it out of track.

Yeah. I find some of those New Year's Eve classes that look like the date. Yeah. I think those are from two years ago. So here's what I'll say. You guys with Adam's deception check are able to make yourselves look different so you're not completely recognizable on site. Okay.

However, the three of you rolling in, and it's not just. just gnomes here, but a lot of it is gnomes. So you guys rolling in as a robot, a giant woman, and a little, even if, even if like you gray out your orange fox hair, it's going to be so obvious you are. Yeah, they're going to instantly try to kill us for your credits. We are a distinctive combo. Okay. You actually, so you don't know that they're necessarily going to try to kill you for the credits. They might. Look, if you run into random dudes in an alley, They're going to try to take the 6 million credits. Yeah.

At James's bar, you don't know that you'd necessarily be instantly, like, grabbed for, they wouldn't want the bounty because they wouldn't want to deal with mothership. Okay, is this crazy? Do we walk in, hands up, and say, take us to James? That's better than any other plan that would inevitably fall through. What do you think, Ox? I mean, if we go in there telling the truth, they got every reason to trust us, and we'll know if they're friend or foe.

So maybe we just need, maybe we just want an exit strategy if it goes south. Okay, what kind of exit strategy are you thinking? Maybe we get our eyes on this building. We see where we think that James's office is. We see what kind of egress we're looking at with James' office, maybe. And is there a getaway car nearby? I have a drill. Oh, yeah?

I could drill through the floor. Okay. So if everything goes south, so do we. Okay. I think I'm feeling, not for the first. first time. I think I'm feeling reckless. I think I'm feeling like let's walk in and roll the day. We got the line to say. It's cahoots with the boots. And we got the recording. We've got the evidence. Yeah. All right. I'll keep my back to the wall in case we need to drill out.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. This is crazy though, right? No crazier than anything else we've done today. Okay. That's just the kill screen way, baby. Yeah, we all in then? Let's do it. All in. All right, you crazy son of a bitches. Let's do this. Sweet. So how do you guys approach? You hear people from inside, and there are like windows and stuff, but you've got these two brutes that look like they are bouncers standing at the door. Okay.

I'm wearing my 20-26 glasses. I walk up to the bouncers, and I take them off, and I say, I know you know who I am. we want to see James we got information that James is going to want to get his ears on we come to you on this the day of Lightning McQueen's birthday the greatest Jimmy of all time

the greatest carriage racer that we've ever seen yeah there's a picture of a carriage being pulled by mechanical horses and the carriage has eyes on it that's a lot of horsepower and I'm going to say and I think this is one

package you're going to want to deliver and packed, gentlemen. 50 things go through their mind at once. They go forward as if to try to tackle you instantly. Then they're like, oh, no, I want this money for myself. They go to like grab their guns. They look behind them like, uh-oh, are people going to see me? They stiffen up to be like, is James going to get mad at me? They look mad that they've considered capitulating to mothership.

You just see all kinds of emotions go through these guys' faces. go ahead and give me a persuasion check. 16. They both pull out their Tommy guns and hold them up to you. And the one guy goes like, yeah, yeah, you're damn right. James is going to want to know about this. You stay put. You stay put. Hands up.

No, we want to go in the bar. Hands up. It don't matter what you want. Okay, hands are up. My hands are up. Yeah, my hands up? Yeah, hands up. Yeah, hands up.

You too. You too. All right. How many hands do you think I am? Right. Everybody has no waving. Just hands up. They're right. We're just doing the wave like in a stadium. We're just doing the wave. We don't like that here.

You don't like the wave? We don't like crowd participation. I'm doing one part of the mafarin. Because it's not about the crowd. It's about the people on the court. I got to tell you what, I'm a cyber-skitch star. And I got to say, the crowd fuels me. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. I'll tell you what fuels me.

Guns. Shooting people. All right. So watch it. Hey, I like guns, too. I'm not going to show you. Okay, yeah, you better not like guns too much, all right? Right. Yeah, I hope you like keeping your damn hides intact, all right? I like being a lot.

Yeah, I hope you like being polite. You got to watch it, all right, the way you're talking to me, all right? I don't like it. Okay, what about respect to you? What's your definition of polite? Polite? Polite? Coming up here, you say, hey, Jimmy, may I speak to James?

You look nice today. I like your hat. Okay, so you want physical compliments because some people don't want that, but if you want that, I'm going to do that. Physical, it's not so much physical compliments. You're a compliment. Your heart. You're gorgeous.

Are you words of affirmation? I'm words of affirmation. I'm quality time. All right. I don't have to see James right now. Let's just hang out. Hey, let's spend some quality time. Let's just stand and be together for a moment.

All right. I love that. For more demand here. Like a peaceable quiet. All right. All right. Yeah. Let's just stand in comfortable silence.

So this has been a crazy day for you guys, huh? Because it's nuts. It's nuts. This is crazy. Oh, this is chat time. This is chat time. Okay. It's been crazy.

I was it been for you. I mean, because I know my experience, and you've probably seen my experience, but I'm not watching your experience on the TV. You know, we're trying to keep our guys in line. They want to go off and they want to shoot you. And honestly, when I saw you, I was like, I saw that. I saw that. I saw that. I was thinking about shooting you.

I'm rubbing his foot at this point. Wow. Thank you. He didn't say he was touched. Yeah. What about you? What about you? What about you?

I'm touch and gifts actually. All right. This counts us both. The full rub is a gift. All right. Yeah, you see none of this happens. No, I'm just kidding. There's one guy with his gun up goes into Go Get James,

and the other guy goes behind you guys, sticks the Tommy gun up against your back, and, okay, I'm touched now too. Pushes you into the bar. And as you guys enter, you see, this very smoky room. You see there's an older gnome man slinging drinks, tables coated in candlewax from dripping candelabras and candleholders, very old school place. You see there are many paintings of James at different places. So you see this little gnome in a derby hat, making kind of like an

awkward smile in different areas of the world. Like they're almost like his vacation pictures. Oh, Venice. Wow. How did you find Venice on such an ungrouted day? It's actually, it's Iron Deep, believe it or not. Oh. Just looks nice. Didn't know they had canals there. Yeah, they got some. Where have you?

Is that Donald Duck? You see, the patrons look like a really tough crowd. A bunch of them are playing like cards and smoking. And as soon as you guys enter, everybody goes quiet. And the person that was playing the fiddle stops playing. Everybody drops their drinks, drops their cards, drops everything. turns around, looks at you guys as you enter, and then looks at James over in the corner booth.

You see one of the bouncers that had gone inside is over there talking to James. You see James is in his corner booth, smaller than most of the other gnomes, but has a big presence. Everyone gives him a sort of wide berth. There's room on either side of him in his booth. He's got a derby hat that covers most of his like metal, like chrome dome.

And the chrome continues. down over one of his eyes, which looks like laser red. You see he wears a trench coat that's bulky with, like, weapons and modifications. His knuckles have bolts in them, where it looks like he has almost like a Swiss army knife type device for brass knucks. So different kind of brass knucks. So he's switching between them as he sort of like clicks his hands, looking at you guys from across the bar.

Everybody's been quiet. Everyone goes from looking at you guys to looking like. at him, to looking at you guys, to looking at him. Flug is desperately hoping that her stomach doesn't growl. It would be so loud right now. Adam accidentally takes a photo. Oh, with the flash, buddy. The picture goes off.

What are you, a grandpa robot? I thought that he could use another picture for his wall. It goes, it's just quiet as the flash goes off and Slug's stomach crumbles. Hang on, I have to print this now. And then you hear James go, Hey, lookie lose. Did I say to stop the music? Everybody get on with your business.

You see the musician goes back, starts playing fiddle again, looks super nervous, and everyone goes back to chatting. And you see James takes his finger and beckons you guys to come join him at his table. Okay, okay. Shuffle over there. Sweet.

The guy behind you guys. pushes you guys with the Tommy gun, pressures you guys into the booth. Wow. Why are we got to keep doing that? Because it's, touch is my... Yeah, but I got a tramp stamp that's still healing.

It's been, I think it's infected sludge. No, that's the design I asked for. Okay. I said an infected tramp stamp was what I wanted to get. Wow. How'd you get it to leak so good? Yeah, so I don't know about that. Wow.

So, um, you guys, enter this booth, sitting in next to James. The guys that were sitting there talking to him get up and clear out and just a couple of like tufts kind of like stand nearby with their guns at the ready, but a little bit like out of earshot. Music is playing. Everyone's talking again.

Kind of still glancing over at you guys, but not being as obvious about it. And James takes a puff of his cigar and goes, you're bringing a lot of trouble. with you, you know. And I personally find that disrespectful. We're sorry, sir, but there's more trouble calling if we don't do something about it soon. I happen to agree with you on that. And let me just say, I do find it respectful

that you announced yourself. Thank you. So, kudos to that. The disrespect is undone by the respect, and now we're back to a neutral stance. Okay, great. Unfortunately, there's disrespect amongst your henchmen. You want to do that. know the biggest level of disrespect, it's

its secrets. Yes, I did like having that metal rod shoved in my back, though, as they prodded us in here. That's neither here nor there. I just thought I'd mention it. I appreciate you letting me know that. Honesty. Yeah, that's just kind of honesty.

That's just radical honesty. Right. But in the interest of radical honesty, there's a plot you're being double-crossed. James sighs and nods and takes a puff of a cigar and he goes, You're talking about Jim.

Yes. So you are ready. You are already, no. Well, you know, Jim's got his guys. I've got my guys. Do you know who Jim's guys are? Do you know who Jim's guys are? We got photographic evidence if you need to see it with your own eyes.

Jim's got some new guys. He's got some new guys. Now that's disrespectful. It's very disrespectful. I clicks his fingers. He holds this handout for you guys to hand over. I press a button that makes Polaroids come out of you. Careful which button you press.

You haven't know. Yeah, just don't touch your wall. It's processing. Yeah. Sorry, it's so wet. Don't shake it. You see James starts looking at these pictures, and he goes, oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh, my wrong. And he says, respectful. And he. He watches the last video that you guys have of the prototype threatening thin Jim. That makes James look a little bit nervous. He like bites down into his cigar and goes, all right, I appreciate you let me know this.

Giving Jim a long leash because he's one of my more popular lieutenants, but obviously I can't let this stand. You see he leans out and whispers to one of his brutes there. And they go off and start warning a couple other people at the bar. And I got to say the whole reason we're in all our shit is we were at the gala and we saw him there. Well, we infiltrated, but he seemed to be invited. Right, right. So he's about as cozy as can be.

All right, well, I got to be honest with you. I was kind of hoping he'd eventually do something stupid like this so we can just have an out-and-out fight. And I don't got to take him out in the shadows where it might do something in my reputation. Can I ask you because I think you guys have an all-out fight? I think he's coming with some new friends. How do you feel about that?

Yeah, can you handle the prototype? I got to be honest with you. I don't know what this fucking freak can do. So if he's coming here, the jimmies will fight down to the last gym. Okay? We'll go down on our shields. You know what I mean? The thin jimmies run thick.

That's right. Whoa, that's so good. Oh, shoot, I got to. Cahoots with the boots. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Cohoots with the boots.

Nobody laughed. Oh, fuck. For you had us with Ben Jimmy's run there. What do you mean by gohoots with the boots? Well, you had to be there. I think you had to be there. I don't know this word cahoots. You don't know cahoots.

It means like working together. So like if, let's say, you and we broke at some sort of tenuous, mutually beneficial peace. Based on mutual respect. Mutual respect. I like respect. I hate distressing out. mutual disrespect for our mutual disdain for mothership, that would be the four of us entering some cohoots. Yes. Although I worry that this is what mothership wants. An all-out war between the gangs would be a perfect excuse for them to step in.

But this is, we are the opposite if we were to work together. That's two gangs working together. Right. But I guess I meant Thin Jim versus Old James. Hey, I'm not old, all right? Oh, sorry. No disrespect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. As long as you say no disrespect, I understand. Wow, it's so easy to undo the harms. James, can I ask you, what do you know about Elma?

I mean, it gave me this. It takes his hat off and knocks on his dome. Whoa. Cracked my damn skull. And I, in return, chopped off his damn hand. Yeah. Did you hear any rumblins about him trying to buy an air ship? You know, I did hear about his.

passing and nothing that I could prove so I couldn't necessarily do anything about it but I did hear that then Jim might have something to do about that. Then Jim was in. You did. Yeah. Have you heard of the Underground Ironworks Coalition? I've heard that some of the other gangs have been getting kickbacks from mothership if that's what you're talking about. Yeah.

I think Carly Quinn and Pietro were past tense. Were. Let's just say they've been unplugged. Oh. Okay, and that's how you're here. And I've also heard that Eddie lives. Interesting. All right.

Red Tripp. It went so bad. It went so bad at all. You see, scratches his chin. Look. All right. I appreciate you coming here, warning me. In exchange, offer you my protection while you're here, you can load up.

You can load up on potions. You can have a nice meal. Oh, you heard a stomach, right? Yeah, I heard that. I'm so sorry about that. It's a little disrespectful. I know it was. But you know what?

I'm disrespecting my body, not fueling it. That's fair. I just have been hard. I've been on the run. Yeah, let's put some, let's put some artis in. Whatever you got fully loaded. Yeah. Do you have any of those meatballs, the size of a gnome's head?

I was going to say meatball sub would be incredible. I love the sauce. Nomehead meatball sub. Yeah. Extra sauces. You see he clicks. make some hand signals and they bring some giant meatball subs over you guys. Oh, look at this grind out.

I never say stop. Forget you guys call them grinders and it's only one. It's crazy to me. There's subs here. All right, so maybe somebody comes by tonight. You guys find yourselves around here. You happen to find a weapon laying around or something. Maybe do a little fighting alongside us.

I could definitely do that. If anything, actually, if you could give me a primer on, which jimmies are with you and which jimmies are with thin jim? I mean, I know it's going to be obvious when it's the mothership nights, but I, uh, who amongst you do you trust and who do you not trust? So I make sure, because I don't know the politics. Are the hats different or anything? Yeah.

Any, any, like anything that the thin gym boys are sporting. Popped collars or maybe they have shiny pants. Croc chivist. The pants are pretty shiny. Okay. They have more loud pants. They're taking fashion risk with the pants. Boot cut is back.

Let me say this. From what I saw in that footage that you showed me, it looked like this prototype guy was sending Jim to finish the job that apparently he was hired to do, which was to take me out. So what we might be looking at here is Jimmy on Jimmy's. I think you're going to... First, everybody here in this bar, I trust. I trust with my life.

And if I don't trust them with my life, I break their kneecaps. Right. Yeah, no, that's a, yeah. Jim and I, look, Jim and I, we've essentially been in this Cold War for a while now. He don't come around here no more. I don't go to his place. My guys don't go to his place. It's terrible there.

It's a bad spot, yeah. It really is. There's so many TVs. There's no one who's making a good connection there. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're looking at the screen behind me while you're trying to talk to me. They got no music. There's no dancing.

Yeah. Elevate your gaming performance with Alienware Days of Deals. Happening now and bringing you tremendous savings on the gear you need to game. Buy any Alienware PC and get 50% off on the AW-2725 QF Gaming Monitor. Final price, $24999. Take your gameplay to the next level with the Area 51 desktop, Alienware Aurora 16 laptop, and the Alienware 15. These gaming laptops feature Intel Core Ultra processors to deliver serious speed, fluid graphics, and total reliability.

Whether you play competitively or just want the best visuals, these systems give you the advantage. You can also find great offers on displays, keyboards, and mice to complete your setup. Do not miss this chance to upgrade your gaming experience for less. Head over to alienware.com slash deals today. We claim your gear before these offers. end on June 28th. Upgrade your game at alienware.com slash deals.

Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Rocket Money. I am constantly trying to monitor which streaming services I've signed up to watch one show or a sport whose season is over so I can cancel them. And that's where Rocket Money comes in. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel

your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with a few taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions. But beyond that, it can also help you set budgets and goals and give you personalized insights into your spending. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Try for $0 at RocketMoney.com slash pawpaw. That's rocketmoney.com P-A-W P-A-W RocketMoney.com slash Papa.

Goodbye, sweeties. Yeah. The only thing that's dancing is to have the value of the crypto. Yeah. They don't have any naked poker machines. Okay, where do you want us to post up? Where can we be useful to you? Thin Jim is planning on taking you out tonight.

Is there any way we can use that to our advantage? Lay a trap for him. I mean, look, we're going to go into full lockdown mode. Don't you worry. will be prepared. He's just got a lot of guys. So it's going to be a knock-down, drag-out fight. Let me say something else.

Yeah. There's more fights on the horizon, all right? Because I got to keep my eye on zones two and zones of four. Because I'm between two armies of fucking douchebags here. Yeah. You see, he pulls out this little device. He extends an antenna and you see a screen on it. Now, that's a TV.

Now, this is how you watch entertainment. You see he puts on little readers as he looks at it. You see drone footage of Zone 2. This is the jailbreakers zone. And you guys know from the emails that you saw in Petunia's office that R3, the leader of the jailbreakers has been compromised. And he's old tech. So he wasn't hacked through like a network or anything like that.

He physically had to have had like a bolt or something placed onto him. So he has been compromised. And since he is compromised, he kind of supports the tech for like the whole gang. So the whole gang is compromised. You see in zone two, even worse than zone three. You see there are blockades, forces of jailbreakers that are just out and out with the mothership knights. They're flanked by mothership knights and soldiers. Because you've got James not letting people into his territory, there's not like full arm

of ground troops in Zone 2 yet, but they have these big like drop ships and stuff that they can fly over the other neighborhoods. So there are still, you know, hundreds of guys here. They seem to be gathering a force to either invade Zone 1 or to basically just try to stop it up so you guys can't get out. Listen, if this is mutually respectable to you, I would suggest that we help you here and then you help us when everything goes down because it seems like all. All of this is heading towards a collision in Zone 1. That's interesting. That's interesting. We got Eddie on our side. We got old drilling on our side.

And we got Specta. All the old gangs is coming back together. All right. That's interesting. That's interesting. I need a little something to sweeten the pot here. All right? Because like I said, first off, taking out Pietro and Carly Quinn, I tip my hat to you.

He tips his little derby hat. Thank you. Did you know they were just a guy with a joystick? I suspect it as much, yeah. Damn, you are clever. It's always just the guy with a joystick. We're learning this. Yeah.

But this guy, R3, I need him done. Okay? I need them out. I'm sick of these jail breakers coming in here, causing problem in my zones. What do they do? What are they coming to your zone to do? Kill people, shoot people. Oh, okay.

Not stealing anything. Well, no, they steal stuff too, yeah, steal tech. Can I do like a memory check on, like, Or even just can I say, like, what do I remember Elmer thinking of R3? So R3 was pretty solid. R3, like, a lot of the robots there used to be mothership tech. They were a little bit cagey about trusting humanoids and stuff like that. But they were jailbroken mothership tech.

And they were very against mothership. But now they're working with them. Have you noticed, can I ask James? James has Autry changed a lot? Yeah, I'd say gone from mild douchebag to major douchebag. Okay, so what if we could turn him back to mild douchebag? Ah! Take that bolt off of him or something.

You take responsibility for all three either way. Okay. If you get him off my fucking back, I'll consider it a favor to me. And if he's not off my back, I'll consider it very disrespectful. We would never disrespect. We would never disrespect. It's of utmost priority to us. Alma taught us respect.

Yes, and also the thing that's happened to R3 scares me a lot if they can just take over your mind like that. I can't be having that in my streets. I've got to be honest, they're doing it the people too. Yes, that's true. That's what I mean, Ed was successfully working on Eddie. It works on us with just, you know, the right hologram. I think that if they had their way, we'd all be...

For everyone. Everyone has that problem. That's a universal thing. Do you think that Big Rick is a Cyop as well? Who's just trying to get me to buy cigarettes and obey mothership? No. Big Rick seems on the level. Yes. Big Rick seems like he's above all that.

Okay. That's different than I guess, but I just don't think Adam's ready. Yeah. See, the thing is, when I hear about you guys and everything, that's why I'm so thankful for my girlfriend. You see, shows a picture of Cherry Ruby Jubilee. Oh. Sir.

Where'd you need it? believe it or not on the forums on the forms have you met her in person no she's super busy with work right now I just had to send us I had to send us some money

what does she say to you what's the pet name she uses for you she doesn't call you Jamesie Jamesie yeah what is that what she called you what she called me what do you mean what do you

what she called you what you mean by that she was my girlfriend first This is clearly a different cherry Ruby Jubilee. She was my girlfriend. What do you mean? She was your girlfriend. I will show you to credit God that I accrued on that woman.

Respectfully, sir. Your girlfriend is a hologram. Look, these are the arguments we should be having. Fighting over broads. Right. All right. But we got to defeat Jimmy first. Then we'll get to this one.

You see, James is so mad but also agrees that you should be fighting over quote broads. She calls you, Jamesy. As he stands up and gets in Slug's face, you see one of his message... I'm flexing so hard. I've ripped my sleeves off and starting flexing. All right? She told me I'm the first person she's ever been in love for. I'm the first person.

She said, I'm the first person. She said, I lied to a lot of people and you're the first person I'm not lying to. Well, you know what she said to me? She said, I lied every single thing I ever said in my whole life until I spoke to you right now. and I need 10,000 credits because my money is frozen in an account because I just started a new job. She also said that to me. That's crazy because I gave a 10,000 credits. Okay.

Why would she tell? Why would she need 10,000 credits twice? And why would she be frozen at a two account? This is very interesting. We're going to get into this. You see a messenger runs over and goes like, boss, thin Jim and his boys are coming. There's a lot of them. Good.

Use the anger you have right. James looks at you and goes, we will finish this. later. Someone's been robbing Cherry Ruby Jubilee. I gave a 10,000 credits, and she didn't have it? All right. She got robbed. She got robbed. All right, look, you help us tonight. We help you tomorrow. Remember that. You got that? Yeah, okay. You see... We're gonna find out who robbed our girlfriend.

It's like you're reverting. I slap myself and I'm like, oh, fuck you're right. You see, he turns and yells to the bar. All right, lock it down. Everybody in position. You see, the bartender hops down behind the bar and clicks. a button and the entire bar begins to shift and go into lockdown mode. You see, there are groans and clicks of machinery in the floor beneath you as guns and turrets rise from it. The windows are reinforced with these metal grates that slide down and the Jimmy start kicking

tables over to use them as cover as they point their Tommy guns out the windows. You see, there are three turrets near the front of the bar that are unoccupied that rise up. Everybody roll initiative. Yes. Nat 20. There it is. 17. 11.

Ox, I think we have to pretend to be Cherry Ruby Jubilee. It's the only way to get her out of this. Really? You have to wear the wig. I'm still mumbling about my girlfriend. Can't you do it? I go in too deep.

You know that. Okay. I do have red hair. So first things first from dinner and from the bartender here is essentially an alchemist. You guys are at full HP. Oh, nice. They get you guys up with essentially

you guys are being like fed potions. That is how I feel after eating a meatball parm. Yeah. Yeah, right? So you guys are all full on your meatball parms. Also, bartender pulls out a bunch of potions from behind the bar and starts throwing them out. Go ahead and roll me 1D4 plus four. And that's how many potions you guys have.

Oh, man. Oh, eight potions. Eight fucking potions. Oh, my God. So here's how this is going to work. There are going to be waves of enemies approaching the tavern, kind of a tower defense situation. You guys start out. within the tavern, you have three-fourths cover.

That means plus five to AC and deck saves. The cover goes away if the enemies get inside. Gotcha. But enemies outside, every time the tavern takes 100 damage, the cover drops by one level. So it goes from three-quarters to half to one-quarter to nothing. There's just a giant hole in the side of the bar, and everybody's fighting in front of it. Damn. So the bar has like HP essentially?

The bar has HP, essentially. Okay. There are two heavy machine gun turrets as well as, one giant laser cannon. You can use an attack action, so just one of your attacks to fire one of the guns. The machine guns are plus seven to hit. They do a 6D10 piercing damage on a hit. If you roll a one or a two on your attack roll, the gun overheats and has to be repaired

with a bonus action. The chance goes up for it to overheat by one each time you use it. So it starts with one and two. Every time you use it, then it goes one, two, three. one, two, three, four. You can use it twice in the same turn, but it means the overheat goes up twice. So instead of one, two, it would be one, two, three, four.

So the more you use it, more chances are of it like overheating. Gotcha. You do a DC-14 tech arcana check to fix it, and then it goes back down to one and two. Laser gun is even more powerful, but harder to hit with. Plus five to hit, but 10 D-10 force damage. Wow. So I will lay out the battlefield before you guys decide what turrets or if you don't want to use turrets. You guys look out this window. You're standing by a bunch of these jimmies that are

in their bunker here now with their guns pointed up. You see the sun is beginning to rise. You see there is a fiery orange tint to the sky as the silhouettes of the first wave venomies crests the horizon. You see a squad of machine gun jimmies. These are the heavies. They've got add-ons that almost look like little mex suits with Tommy guns and heavy machine gun add-ons. Joining them is a squad of Jimmy Brutes. These are the foot soldiers, stout gnomes with brass knucks. You see there are Jimmy cannoneers that wheel a cannon to the edge of the battlefield and start loading it. Finally, there is a squad of Jimmy cutthroats.

These are the assassins and rogues. They move ultra-quick. They have laser daggers and cloaking devices that make it seem like they're harder to hit from further away. You see they disperse and are almost impossible to see as they enter the battlefield. Oh, shit. These guys all start 90 feet away. Okay.

Okay. First to act is slug. Can the laser gun reach them? Laser gun can reach them, yeah. Okay. It's only a plus five to hit. I want to go after the guy's setting up the cannon. Okay, the guy setting up the cannon.

I want to try and prevent them from setting up the cannon. Yeah. All right. You are trying to hit AC-16. as you shoot the laser gun plus five to hit. Got to get an 11 or higher on this. 12.

There you go. Plus to 5. Okay, 17. So you see Slug runs up, grabs this giant laser gun, spins it, blast. Giant laser blast that, like, jolts you back. You have to, like, with all of your strength,

hang on to steady it. You see, go ahead and roll 10D10 of damage as it lands. And there is a, this huge explosion around the cannoneers. Oaks put down his visor. 56 damage. Yeah.

It hits right next to like, there are six jimmies here, and it requires four jimmies to load this cannon. So you see the cannon, like, capsizes, turns over, flips and falls back. It hits the ground. Four of the dudes are blown away. One of the guys is extremely hurt, and the other guy is like furiously, scrambling, trying to lift the cannon up. But you have decimated this crew.

They're going to need more people to come back to work this cannon at all. For now, they're not able to use it. Hell yeah. So I could take a second attack. You could take a second attack. Why not? Because I might misfire. So it already would have been one, two, three.

You're going to add two to that because you're using it the same turn. So now it's one, two, three, four. Okay. You got this. 15 to hit. 15 misses. Okay, well, doesn't misfire at all. Doesn't misfire.

Still working. Blasts into the ground. Okay. Okay. So, I'm going to bonus action rage just to have it active. Nice. Nice. Okay, great.

Slug goes into a rage at Initiative 21. The Jimmy Cutthroats are going to go. They are going to take a dash action. and bonus action dash. With a bonus action dash, the cutthroats get inside of the bar. What? So I'm also going to say,

I'm only accounting for, like, the guys that you guys are responsible for. You see the other jimmies in the bar shooting their tommy guns or shooting other guys down. So there's other fights going on. These are the guys that are going after you. So you see a couple of guys

with their tommy guns up in the window. All of a sudden, assassins appear next to them, stab them in the neck, pull them out. through the window and jump in and start getting ready to attack Slug who's up at the laser gun. So cut throats are in the room.

Back off our girl. You know what? Cutthroats are in the room, so I might abandon this gun and start the melee. Okay. Okay. Okay. After the cutthroats, ox, that is your turn. Okay. Is there anybody still on the field? The brutes are. Oh, yeah. There's brutes. There's machine gun guys. There's actually, I said there were two cannoneers

left. There's only one. So there's one guy unsuccessfully trying to lift up the cannon. He's not getting it. All right. I want to take a shot with this gun before I start doing melee. Machine gun or laser gun? I'll do machine gun. Okay, machine gun. That's just one and two is a malfunction on the machine gun. Okay.

And it's a plus seven to hit. Who are you going after? Ox like strides across the bar and I grab a half drunk drink from a table and just shoot it. Hell yeah. Sit up at the turret. I'm going to go for, I'll go for the brutes that are out there. Great, the brutes. Yeah. They are, yeah, they're rushing. towards the door, they seem like they don't do as much damage from further away, but if they get near, they're going to be a problem. So you start shooting at them as they approach. Okay. Would you let me bonus action branding smite? Uh, not with the machine gun. That's totally fair. All right,

respectfully, sir, thank you. All right, I'll take a shot. I didn't even try to reckless attack with it. Oh, fuck me. That's a two. Two. As the machine gun goes off, you start like flailing wildly with shooting kind of into the roof here. It begins smoking. Sorry about that. The Jimmy's next to go like, what the fuck are you doing? You ever use one of these things before?

Can I try the other one? You can either try to fix this one with a bonus action or you can jump over to the other one. I'm going to jump over to the other one. Go ahead and make another attack. That one was broken. It wasn't me. One of them is malfunctioning.

That's a two. Oh my God. Ocks. What is going on? We started it. I was so hot. He's fine, Oxy. It's fine, ox.

Both of them are broken. Adversity is where we become who we're going to become. All right, so cutthroats have invaded the bar. You see, they start stabbing the Jimmy's there. You see, the bar begins filling with smoke from two broken machine guns. You know what? I don't even feel bad. That was comical.

Ad Initiative 16 is the Jimmy cannoneers. There's one left. He's going to do an athletics check to try to fix the cannon. from Prone. I'm rooting for him. No, not. He successfully uses his full action to get the cannon backup right. It takes four actions to fire the cannon.

He takes zero actions firing it. Go, little man. He just is getting it ready. After the Jimmy cannoneers, that is the machine gun jimmies. The machine gun jimmies are going to just fire onto the bar itself. Machine gun jimmy. So first attack is a heavy machine gun. And that actually misses.

So it does hit, but it like pinks off the roof. It's ruining Jim's bar, but it's not like affecting the barricade for you guys. The hot thing they look. Yeah. Next most powerful attack is their Gatling gun. That hits. They're going to do 18 damage with that. So they do 18 damage to the bar.

And then they get three more attacks while they're out because they're squads. So they get Tommy gun attacks with three more, two more hits for another 26 damage. Oh, they're going to get through. They're going to get through at some point, certainly. They have done 44 damage as big holes start appearing in the wall of James's tavern. Oh, wow, good for you. What's the HP of the tavern? At every 100 HP, the amount of cover you guys get goes down.

So at a certain point, these guys will just be able to fire onto you guys with their, like, massive like siege weapons. Shit, okay. Which will be very bad. Yeah, you'll be getting hit by like 20 for each hit, which is really fucking bad. Yeah, for us. So after the machine gun, Jimmy's, Adam, that is your turn. Okay, so I can use a bonus action to repair this laser cannon?

Yes. Okay. I will do that and then actually, when I'll do is... Oh, wait, the laser cannon is fine. Oh, okay. It has been used a bunch of times, so it is one through four as a failure. Oh, okay, I got you. The machine guns are broken right now.

I think they were broken before I shot them. There's so much orange hair in the payload. Why? Okay, I'm going to go over to the giant laser. Great. And I'm going to Avatar-style plug into it. Great. And say, how's it going today?

Are you having sex with that guy? I'm getting the job done, Ox. Pretty good, I guess. I spend most of my time in the floor, but, you know, while I'm out, I like to party. Right. Well, would you like to party? with me. I haven't been here. Could you show me around? Sure. Why didn't I try to fuck my god? That was so smooth. All right. Who are you trying to shoot here? I guess I'll go for the machine

gunners. They seem like trouble. Great. They are trouble for sure. Okay. So go ahead. Do not roll a one through a four on your tack roll. Try my best. These guys are a little bit more armored up. You're trying to hit AC-17. This is a plus five to hit. You need a 12 or higher. It's a Nat one. Oh my God. As the laser charges up, it prematurely shoots through the wall. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. That never happens.

You could take it as a compliment at him. That happens to lots of lasers. It's okay, baby. So yeah, laser shoots off and blasts off. So you've got three broken guns. They can be fixed with bonus actions. DC-14, but this is already going real sideways. The cutthroats are inside.

More guys are going to come every wave. So if he's my bonus action to repair it, would I be able to take more attack? You would be able to shoot again? Okay. All right. Yeah, I'll do that. I'm not giving up on Laser yet. Great. Yeah, I think it's a good idea.

What's your name? Laser. Laser. I can see that it's been a while for you. Yeah, I was pretty pent up. Happy to help you get back out there. All right. Let's try again.

Go ahead and give me a DC-14 tech arcana check. Okay. DC-14 Tech Arcana. Great. Adam, you're such a patient lover. There you. Yeah. That's going to be a 19.

All right, fixed. Brings the DC down to 1 and 2 now. I tell them about the owls of Gahoole. Wow. You've got to see this. Go to the race is incredible. Was Adam using a line on me? Check this out.

Gohoots with the boots. Isn't that funny? Everybody nails it by me. You'll get you, Stan. All right, go ahead. Make your attack. All right, next attack. Plus five to hit.

Plus five to hit. Come on. Fuck. It's just a 12. But it's a 7, so it doesn't overheat. All right. Just blasts into the dirt in front of the machine gunners who kind of hold their hands up from the spray of dirt,

but survive it. Would you let me use a grazing shot here, which is just I do like 1D8 of damage? Yeah, I would allow you to, yeah, yeah. So it kicks up a bunch of debris. We'll hurt them with the debris. I will say doing damage to these guys, even if you don't take them out is good

because it takes down their attacks. These guys are basically acting as like high-level swarms. All right. Well, laser does seven damage to them. There you go. You're getting back out there.

That's what's important. After Adam, that is the Jimmy Brutes. The Jimmy Brutes are going to use 30 feet of movement. They get closer and then are going to start throwing rocks at the door. So these guys are just... I do respect it, though. These guys are mechanically enhanced. They are kind of like slug.

You see they've got like steroid syringes going into them. They look furious. and just start grabbing into the dirt and throwing rocks. Fuck y'all. Okay, on the other side of this, we're swapping recipes. Somehow, even though the door only has like AC-16, they miss twice, hit three times, 30 damage. Okay, those were big rocks.

Yeah, big rocks, smashes through a bunch of the windows here. The tavern has taken 74 damage. All right. And the brutes get a little bit closer. They're 60 feet away. Top of the round, slug. that is your turn. You are surrounded by Jimmy cutthroats.

Bet you never seen this before. Can I? Start juggling a laser knife. Okay, it's a laser knife. Can I do like a quick assessment? What kind of damage? I've been probably been on the receiving end of this. What kind of damage?

Piercing damage. Okay. I think I want to run out and start fighting the machine gun guys. What? Okay. The cut throats around you are going to get an opportunity attack. That is a 14 to hit. Missing.

Which misses? So I'll say you jump up onto the gun and avoid their attacks as they try to swarm you. And then I think I run to the end of the gun and then it like goes, it points down and I slide down. Hell yeah. You slide down onto the battlefield where you see dozens of dudes with guns and rocks as you charge. And I'm sure I think I'm getting around them if I can to go through the machine gun guys. Can you get 60 feet? So I have adrenaline rush, which will let me bonus action.

D. Great. Okay. So you use a bonus action dash. So that's 50 and then my movement's 50. Okay. So Slug gets up there with the machine gunners. Wait, hey, hold on.

What the fuck? A turn and start pointing at you. And since I did a dash, I get to do my special attack. Whoa, what is your special attack? My jet dash. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. You just show up out of no, that you start running towards them.

They're firing at the tavern. They turn and start firing at you. I come up from behind them. Yeah, you double in speed. as thrusters come out behind you, and you appear right in front of them. Go ahead and make your attacks. And I'm reckless, baby.

Yeah, dude. 17 the hit. 17 just hits. These guys have like metal armor on. 20 damage? Not bad. 20 damage. You fully take out one of the guys.

You crack the neck at one of the guys that was firing a heavy machine gun. He goes down. The other guy's turn to try to fire at you. One of them looks really hurt. And then they got to do a strength save or fall prone. Okay. Oh, nice. She's trying to take your movement if I can.

They are able to, what are they trying to beat? They got a 16. They got a 16 exactly. Okay. And then I'm going to use my magnetic hammer for my voice attack. Okay. 15. 15 misses.

Okay. But if you would like, with your magnetic weapon attack, it actually hits two enemies. So even though they're a bunch of guys, they count as a squad. So if you want this to fly over and hit the Jimmy Brutes, which are right next to them, a 15 would hit them. So you can roll damage on the Jimmy Brute. Okay, yeah, we'll do that. So you throw your hockey stick.

The machine gunners hit the deck, but the Jimmy Brutes are there throwing rocks, and it goes and cracks them across the head. Okay, just 15 more damage. 15 damage is no joke. That takes out one of the guys, so they have one less attacks. Oh, and since I hit them, I can cleave.

Sweet. So then you stab into the machine gunners again. This one's going to hit. Okay. only six damage, but of course they got to give me their... Constitution? Constitution save or fall prone? Pass.

Pass the Constitution, but another guy goes down. They get another less attack. So they only have three attacks, down from five. Okay. And the Brutes had five attacks. Now just have four. So they're going to start to whittle down the packs. And that was all part of my first attack.

Because I used magnetic weapon and my... Jet Dash, which was a bonus action. But also my ferocity, which gives me the cleave. Got you. That's part of my rage, so now my second attack. Sick. Damn. 22. Hits.

16 more damage. 16 more damage. You take out more of the machine gun jimmies. And then another Constitution say will fall prone because this hockey stick loves to trip. Okay. They fall prone. So you see there's only two guys left. So they're shooting at you but kind of firing wildly.

And they trip behind them. So Slug, you have knocked these guys down. You have lessened the brutes. You have lessened the machine gun jimmies. At initiative 21 of this round, that is the Jimmy cutthroats. They are inside the bar with our guys, ox and Adam. The cutthroats are going to go after, let's say, ox is up by the guns. That's pretty close to where slug was.

So they're going to surround ox and make five attacks. Oh, harder. Heads up. I'm on your side. Didn't you see I took out both the guns? All right, I'm going to roll five attacks all at once. Oh, boy. Wow.

Not great rolls, honestly. Ooh. Oh, thank you. Okay. Only two hits. Those ones, though, are a 25 and a 27 hit. Okay, so I won't use my shield. Okay.

They basically, with their daggers on the first attack, it gets sneak attack, so it does an additional damage. First attack is 13 damage. Okay. And second attack is seven damage. So they stab you for 20. damage. That does hurt.

And then these guys, they do have bonus action hide, but that doesn't really make much sense for a squad. So they're just not going to hide until there's only a couple of them left. I'm going to say they can't use that until there's one or two left. Unless there's like four barrels. Unless there's four barrels, which there are. So these guys stab and they take kind of a defensive position, getting ready to fight you. And at initiative 20 of the second round, slug, you are out on the battlefield.

here by yourself out in front. Hey, I'm amongst friends. I point for the machine guns. Yeah. As you see, there is another wave of enemies cresting over the horizon. Oh, what? You see another squad of machine gunners join the fray along with another squad of Jimmy Cutthroats. And amongst them, you see Thin Jim. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Looks like what are you got separated from the pack? well, at least I'm getting one million and sharpens his knife

and that's where we'll end our session. No! Me and laser are going to take him out. God damn. Oh, man, this is a fun one. It's a good thing. Get to do some tower defense. Yeah.

Love it. Fucking onslaid here. It reminds me of the battle for Helms Deep. Yeah, yeah. If there was a laser there. Right. Right. Which in your story there was. This is a battle for Helms Beep.

Yeah. That's what it is. With that, We'll talk more about this over on our Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash Nadpod. That's NADD-D-P-O-D-D-D-Show. We see on.

We see our show or short rest. Does anyone have anything that they like to plug? Ooh, I have something interesting I want to plug. What's that? I've been working on a fun little side D&D show, an all-ages D-N-D show. My wife, Susanna, I've been working on it with some friends from Disney. Sick.

Some former Disney artists and I have put together this little all-ages D-N-D show called The Fantastic Castle. We have just launched it. It's going to launch on the 26th, which I think is the Friday after this episode post. Hell yeah. So, yeah, if you're looking for something that doesn't involve robots fucking

that you can listen to with their kids, it's 30-minute episodes. You sabotaged us. You made Adam the most craft characters you've ever made so that you can release a family-friendly one. I see how it was. Interesting play. It's called playing both sides of the field.

I'm working every angle. Yeah, the episodes are like 30 minutes long, so it's perfect for like a ride to school or something like that. Yeah, if you're looking for something with a little less dragon pussy, but just so much fun, please check it out. Great. With that, you can follow us on social media that you're mainly at Cajmar. Me at Caldez-Caldwall, at Axtra's Emily, and at Jake Horowitz's Jake.

And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are. The Youth of a Nation. We are, we are. Oh, yeah, it's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. I see you there.

Come on out. Don't be afraid. It's time for you to be honored. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later McSkater, Cutter W. Olivia A. Daniel G. Daniel the Dastardly Dame. Carpe Liam.

Victor T. A.k.a. Balnor's boy. Hoyd's friend, His fortune. Just an eye. Dany Danester. T.J.M. Hay-L. The cry-fay. Drowhee. Now you have to say it.

Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobold. Gandarf de grape Stevie Waggs Helish Rebuquer the NBDMPHD Jack L Nicholas C star of every film ever made in Bohumia

Alka Smelzer Plus Tyler F Laurie Anderson Hercule Poirot Zerabat F detective Timmy R Jake's jerk jelly hashtag CCCC

CACCC CETBORC SkatS Stephen C C C C Grip for every film made in Bohumia. We salute your efforts. Joy T. Nick W. Nico, the underpaid

English teacher. William W. Big Bad Beirdo the Mad. Nova. Percival, Frederick Stein von Mussel Klausowsowsky Derolo the third. Jay Dragonborn, guardian of the vibe, honoring the cock. Bin A. Dave H. Dustin S.

Not that, Nick. Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce. Big bad. DPC is awesome Shone the shade tree mechanic of Zeldar Summer Rose, aka Grand Terre Misa of House in Zunza Ariel the occasional mermaid

Selina N. aka Valaciarraptor Be perky always Pat L. Lauren each serve 16 Annie the Fay Wild therapist Parogi Frenzy Jack N. BioCort 7. Bean Rat was innocent. Dub, hobdropper.

Jack H., King of the Mall people under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Valen, Paj the bitch and bunny bard. Druidic Payton, Carlin C. Omri M. Noah, the Sunday scoop subscriber, hashtag Swingles Night. All right. James G.

Ilksy, Arch Faye of Dreams. Everything Bego, the Alaska. who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripy. Han. Marcos Ph.D. Eventually. Learns the balance druid. Frieda M.

Maggie. Holly, the green laughing hyena. Huh. Russell H. Cody C. Lorelei the succubi and Kira the succulent snack. Ellen S. James F.

Wayfarer. Page 69. Kept the trolls, who then unionized and turned the flower. shop into a co-op. Went to Feichella. It was awesome. Wow, an update from Wayfarer. Oreo, city name. Barpo Goodberl, Bard Berrien. Charlie Brown's best friend. Oh, fuck, peppermint Patty. Renee, the monster captain. Olivia, the enchanting Bard and Jared the soap opera cleric who are expecting their first young and soon. Amazing. Blue Ash, Fico, Jay,

Kegard. Ferries in a summer slew hanging with this. two crew. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi H. M.J. the BF.G. Roger L. Nodrog, the pacifist barbarian. Nick J. Zudrick's unofficial fifth crow. Goose toes. Shananagan's O'Connor. Joshua S. Alexander. Lynn's W. Sky, the eldest coffee master of Bohumia, serving Henry Hogfish a black coffee with a side of shrimp scampy. The spudfucker himself

Johnny Dudeke. The mischief of not past familiars. Pavu Eskinor, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile. Jekwell Murphaly. Tim M. Dragon Knight 86. Richard.

Strungle, the main event. T.R. M.G. Chito. Shell B. Kenneth's first favorite sprite girl, happy pride to our Neo Galadron icons, Adam, the binary code, sexual, and slugs be in. Tired Jet. How did you know the vampire got me into pop play? Eleanor V.

Mimascades. Fuck you, I love you, eat a rat. Megan N. Anthony B. Belnor's best friend, Steve. Stephanie of House Enzunza. Benjamin A. Do Deca D.M.

Sacrificial otaku. bringing otaku culture to a fantasy realm near you. Triple S-tier, Crickwater Enjoyer. Josh Hull, pilot of the Nightmareverse Flight. Ethan the Mailman. Maple, the shy bookworm. Nick A.J. Ashosaurus.

Billy Batson. Mithril Mage. Tori, the tungsten dragoose. It's Murfin time. Michael L.S. the second. Carl B. Plummer of the realm. Sunworm. Ace Dregs.

Hi Lord of Critsburgh Vin Diagram D.M. Charby. Cadmilius the consume. Cam, the Frogborg man. Jake W. Hi, Mom. Tuesday Cross. Only here for the surf and mirth.

Smores. Tyler McMim. Zibitabackery. Gigi says Falistine hurrah. Oh, and Snake release. Kaylee of the O'er. Katerina C. Jena C. Carly C.

Rachel dies in Animorph. Spoilers, dude. Casey J. Paupaw's litigation associate. Greg W. Go listen to short rest. It's bon frere behavior. Baruch Thunderhelm. Fifth Generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Capi B. of the schooner Louis R. French.

Richard E. Jins' left glove tailor. Khazudan at the gates of a fantastic castle. Ooh, thank you. The Waterworth, your four-legged Greg companion. Nick, Moe, Pinsic. Cola's premier dungeon daddy docent. The Raging Ranger Echo Ashmore. Chef

Julie B. Samuel S. Mama Mayhem. 404 Erroric. Almost Dr. Katz. Hirsch. Maddie Inn. Oscar the Saladzar. Thomas C. Little Dark Lotus Creations. Kindra M.

James the Polymorph boot. Joshua H. Jacob M. Lou H. Ben V. Prince Lagothal. the third. Elida, the eldest elder in all of Eldermorn. Toxic ghost. Daniel M. Chris A. Angie H. Fern M. Kenna's least favorite sprite girl.

Shy Sign 23. I'm just Sam. Anthony H. Anthony Jarvis proprietor of the Crick's Lazy River Floating Tour. Nate P. K.H.B. Alexandra. Trashweaver of the Leaf and Hunger. Helena. Sister of Maureen, Import.

and Pam S. Woo! That is all of our elders. Folks, thank you so, so much for your continued support. If you would like to join this illustrious council,

you can do so by going to Patreon.com slash nadpod. That is going to do it for us today, but we'll be back again next week with more fun stuff. Thanks again for listening, and we'll see you then. Bye-bye.

That was a hate gum podcast.