Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 2: Glenbottle Gala

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

The Kill Screens go undercover at a Mothership gala! Aux hacks a security system, Atom tries diplomacy, and Slug loses another tooth. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford."The Prototype" by Emily Axford."Aux" by Emily Axford."The Arcade" by Emily Axford."Synth Night" by Emily Axford."Atom" by Emily Axford."Mothership Lobby" by Emily Axford. "Galavanting" by Emily Axford. "The Inkling Syndicate" by Emily Axford."Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford."Slug" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bohemia, everybody. Oh, like a glove. Ew. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Woe is me.

I'm flushing pee. Ockso con. And then, of course, Emily Axford. Reminizing about some pissing arms, slugs, laugh, back. really piss-focused. And, of course, we've got Caldwell Tanner. Can't forget what was in that turlet. You could have said toilet.

In my head, turlet felt better. It hits it harder. All right. Anyway, it's not a wrong. He's a robot was programmed to say it incorrectly. He's a robot. I was programmed by a guy who doesn't know what computers are. Give him a freaking break.

All right. Let's go ahead and do a little recap. Yeah. Yeah. So last time, we kicked off with a little roller jam. skids between the jailbreakers and the killscreens. The futuristic roller race saw the fearsome spithrid of the jailbreakers taking on slug of the killscreens. During the match, Ox caught an undercover mothership night and prevented him from signaling a drop ship before the race was over.

Meanwhile, Adam had sex with another robot. And engaged some jailbreaker goons who were shooting at the killscreens motorcyclist. Equally helpful. Despite their motorcycle being damaged, Slug still managed to dominate Spathreed, jumping over every laser hurdle, and performing death-defying hand-wheel stunts. Fuck, yeah.

With the victory, you managed to make 4,000 credits, aka gold credits. But more importantly, you want to bet with the jailbreakers for inside info on an upcoming job. Spector, a freelance hacker, met up with you later at Zone 1 in your arcade. You went up to your dearly departed leader, Sir Elmer's office, where you all lamented the state of Neil Galateron and reminisced about the good old days. Spector clued you in on an upcoming gala at the mothership HQ in Zone 6 and revealed the location of the mayor, Petunia Glenbottle's personal safe.

Rumor has it that she has 10 million credits inside. Spector outfitted you with a glove that will allow you to retrieve her fingerprint with a handshake, which you will need. need to open the safe. As Spector prepared to set up the office as home base, you struggled with the idea of changing anything about Elmer's setup, including the piss that he left in the toilet. You all came together, reminiscing about the first time you met your old mentor, then flushed the toilet in a beautiful ceremony. And that's where we are now. Right. All right. Is there anything you guys want to do before the heist, because otherwise I'm going to fast forward a couple days.

I mean, I think we probably ought to do some recon on who's going to be in Petunia Glenbottles cycle, right? Oh, yeah. Okay. You can use like Tinkerer's tools almost if you guys want to use like tech to like kind of Yeah. Can I do a history role? You can also do a history role.

Plus seven a history. Great. I'm going to give a help action to. I don't know history. I'm going to give a help action to the tools. I'll say that you guys have a couple days. So if Slug, you want to spend one day with ox doing one way of research and spend one day with Adam doing a day of research, you guys can both roll with advantage to see what kind of dirt you can dig up. Yeah, I want to see if I can hack into the E-vite.

Great. 14. 14. Okay. Nice. With a 14, you do some digging around. Basically, it's very like proto-intern. There's message boards and whatnot within Neo-Galateron.

Yeah. And you find some info. you find leaked footage of this terrifying bodyguard that is only known as the prototype. And you haven't really seen this dude before, but you see there's like a picture. He's been caught kind of blurry behind Petunia Glenn bottle. Looks like he was kind of lurking in the shadows, but was like caught by some kind of security camera or some kind of hacker. big machine body of there are these robots called mothership enforcers think like warhammer like space marine but like an actual machine like exoskeleton kind of like spithrid except like buff instead of like skinny and built for a speed right this dude looks like he has the body of an enforcer but is a human like is a cyborg has sort of like Darth Vader with the mask off bald head bloodshot eyes. looks like it was like deeply augmented and tampered with,

just like huge over eight feet tall, and he doesn't look right. He doesn't look good. Petunia, you're plus one. Woof. Yeah. I can't believe that's our husband. And I'll say you also find some rumblings of corky Glenn bottle.

Yes. Corky is Petunia's brother. and he is like the family fuck up sort of the Roman Roy of the family. If you will. So is like going out at bars and getting in trouble and getting in fights and then mothership nights are going and having to have to help him and whatnot. So sort of the disgrace of the family, he has like a cushy position as like chief officer of human relations discoveries,

He's just like a bullshit title. He makes a ton of money, but does not look like he's that important to the day to day. Okay, I want to sort of zoom in to some of these tabloids and see what bars he's frequent. Oh, good idea. Okay. Because maybe we could post up,

and this seems like the kind of guy who talks at a volume that he wants to be heard, even when he's talking about things that shouldn't be heard. Okay. You hear some rumblings that, He hangs out sometimes in Zone 4 with the Blackfire Carnival. Juggaloes? Sort of chuggloos.

The juggaloes who like to do silent raves? Yeah, silent raves, VR goggles. Real sad. Yeah, VR chaggloos. So does he get, does he go somewhere that he gets like covered in electrodes and maybe leaves his pants elsewhere? It looks like maybe that does happen. He also has been seen in Zone 3, which is the South Avenue Jimmy's. and that would not be cool with James the leader you would know.

James, you know back in the day, there was tension between the South Avenue jimmies and the kill screens of Zone 1. And there was a fight, and that's how James got his head cracked and why he has a giant metal head. And that's also how Elmer lost his hand. But after that,

they became kind of friends and allies. like reluctant allies, sort of the devil you know type situation. Like they have a begrudging respect. Quarky Glenn bottle has been seen in Zone 3 at an area that this dude, Thin Gym hangs out in. Whereas James's Tavern is like a true old school tavern. Like you go there, people are singing songs and drinking ales out of frosty mugs. Thin Jims has like screens everywhere so you can see like what all the Crypto is doing

and everything. It's like a sports bar, but no sports. Yes, exactly. We need to get into cryptos. And so Thin Jim is sort of a lieutenant that seems to be kind of challenging James's authority. Okay. And Corky Glenbottle has been seen there, but has been kind of quiet recently. Seems like maybe he's been punished for embarrassing, for embarrassing mothership.

Do you think, because Spectus said that we got to get a clearance card? I wonder if we could try to go to one of these places where he zonked out on electrodes, slip a finger in the pocket, grab the clearance card. That seems like the ideal opportunity, but he will probably be heavily guarded. Oh, that's such practical thinking.

So, Adam, what did you get on your history check? Let me roll it now. It's going to be a dirty 20. Okay, dirty 20. I'll say between you and ox, and doing all this research and everything, and with the schematics and information that Specter put together, what you guys know is that Patina has an office up on the 13th floor.

After floor 10, you need a level of clearance higher than the other floors. So any, like, security guard will probably have key cards for the levels 1 through 10, basically. Okay. If we see quirky at the party, we can pretend like, We're all drinking buddies. He might not remember us because he gets so trashed all the time. I like that. Get in good with Corky.

And I'll say with your guys like hacking skills and everything and with like having gotten a dirty 20, you guys are fully able to forge invitations. Yes. And what was Thin Jim's establishment called so that we can pretend that we've drank with him with Corky at Thin Jim's establishment? At Thin Jims. Skinny Jimmy's Crypto Bar and. grill.

Is that where they crypto. Crypto.coms. What are you grill here? Oh my God. It's like a Kalshi nightmare. I will say, ever since

mothership has come in and started kind of change the dynamics, it has now gotten dangerous to hang out at bars in other zones. You guys could have like walked in and announced yourselves at like Jimmy's Tavern not too long ago.

And that wouldn't have been weird at all. But now it might cause problems. Or you, you kind of don't know where people stand at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Like even with like the interactions you guys had with the jailbreakers, it would have been a little friendlier a few months ago.

Right. No rules, but there was Anna. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, we can either attempt to make contact with corky or we can. Sounds like at the party. Should we fake a picture of us hanging out with corky?

We absolutely should do that. God damn it I love it I'm in love with it Ox can you put up Photoshop Make me look so fucking buff Okay So I'm gonna

Do a Photoshop Of all of us At one of the year Take a picture of me right now I do a bunch of pushups I do a bunch of pushups I inject in each butt cheek Gonna need a wide angle lens

We're going fish eye Wait hold on We're going fish eye dude Oh my god I'm gonna put on a Hawaiian shirt that is a bunch of naked women sitting on top of cheeseburgers. Oh, don't do it.

And then, you would love that. All right, so you got your jacked smiling. Yeah, I think I'm literally doing a pull-up. You have an opened up Hawaiian shirt with naked ladies. Doing a one-armed pull-up. All right, sweet.

I'm... With one tit out. Jesus. I have the biggest, stupidest, teaky drink in my hand. And I'm holding another one, like, positioned so that quirky can be sipping out of it.

Quit touching my screen. You made the ariola way too big. It's not believable at all. All right, so I'm gonna, well, you know what? Why don't you go ahead and give me like Tinker Stools check or like Arcana check? Tech Arcana. Okay. And I also want to Photoshop him.

He's wearing like the VR glasses. Oh, nice. So it's kind of plausible that you might not remember our faces. So you guys were like in zone four or something. Oh, God. Can I do a help action? Sure. Yes.

Oh. I'll use my first one, which was a six, which is another 14. Okay. So you guys look at it, and I don't know if you have the heart to tell them, but it's like, it's an okay Photoshop job. Because you guys were touching my screen. Okay, well, I guess we got a plan B. This is pretty good. I feel like there's a lot of airbrushing on it.

You know what? Wait a second. Put the brightness on your phone down all the way so that when we show it through them. And I'll throw my phone on the ground to crack the screen. Wait, we're going to probably need that to get in. They're going to need to scan up invitations to get in. I take a full hour to fix it. All right, sweet.

Is there anything else that you guys are doing to prep before you arrive? There might be, you would hope that there'd be no one there that would recognize you. If there's people there that recognize you, that means there's gangs that are fully in the pocket of mothership, which would be bad. But it is possible that someone there might know who you are if you go in your everyday regular clothes. Also, there's a freaking dress code. You can't just go in beanbag guitar. I think I'm going to borrow some formal wear from the Hampson sisters.

I know one of them has like a really cyberpunk silver mask that covers everything but my mouth. Great. And then maybe I'll ask them to, for my outfit, I want them to paint me in like puff paint. That's my dress. Whoa. What is puff paint? It's like, you know that when grandma's, like, write things on shirts? So you're just nude covered in buffing?

Yeah, you don't see anything. It's very tasteful. It's a tasteful amount of puffing. Do you have like a plastic tarp on top and they've puffed painted on that or it's just straight on your skin? It's on my skin. Awesome. These jacked... It's a gallop.

What do you expect? It's a gallop. These jacked athletes are going to paint your dress. Oh, wait, maybe I think. They're going to roll with advantage. Do you? Sir, we'll try our best. Slugs, do you want me to use my painters kit?

You should ask. What are you? I have a painter's kit, please. They got a five. Okay, okay. I'm gonna, can I do an athletics check to wrestle them off of me? Sure, sure, yeah. 23.

Nat 20, that's a 28. Get off of me! Okay, 24? 18, they fail. You slip out. Okay, okay, okay. Get out of the night. I'm going to go to, uh, I'm going to go to start.

They start fighting each other. They used to be mothership night. that saw the light and came over to you guys, but are still so agro. I'm going to say, Adam, I got a favor. Could you, I want to look like I'm going to the Met Gala. Is that the thing where everyone wears? The Met Galatoron, yes.

Yeah, the Met Galatoron, yes. Yes. I mostly handle airbrushing the arcade cabinets when they get scratched up, but I think I can manage this. I think you can, too. Hold on. Hold still. Adam's going to hold out his arm and it transforms into like a spray paint gun. And then we'll put puff paint into the spray paint gun.

So let's shut your eyes. It's pretty thick. That should be okay. Sweet. All right. What are the rest of you guys wearing? I'm going to go into my shop and basically start brushing steel and chrome and fabricate plates. I'm going to look like delivery for a Formula One car.

Whoa. So just like really elegant curves and lines overlapping plates. And I'm going to paint cryptic. crypto.com Grill, mothership. Like, just like an F1 car,

the branding is all over the place. So it looks like I'll fit in there. I'm going to like, polish myself to like a chrome sheen and put on like a metal tuxedo and pretend to be their butler. Cool. Sweet. So you guys are all dressed up.

Yeah. I want to look like, I'm like so ripped and you don't see my face. Oh, you do see my mouth though. And you do see my missing tooth. that kind of, I was thinking I would maybe look like a supermodel. Sure.

Can I get, oh. I can make you a tooth? Yeah, make me a fake tooth, so I look like a supermodel. This isn't how I personally want to look, but, uh. That's a 16. Okay, pretty good tooth. Okay, it's just, this is a piece of gum. I'm going to have a hard time.

Yeah, it's rock hot. I'm not doing this thing. I shove it in. Sweet. So, you guys all got all your stuff. You guys are all prepped. Specter sets you guys all up with earpieces and stuff, and she will talk you guys through it as you get there.

You guys take a few hours getting across town. The transit in the city is quite unreliable. You'll take a train, then stop in a station in the next zone, get out, walk down an abandoned tunnel into the next zone. We can't take that train. I dated it for a little while. I think for the last block, we need to get a taxi so that we're arriving in style,

but I don't think we can really leverage the cash otherwise. Okay, how about this? I can use silent image to make a really shitty taxi look like a good taxi. Oh, my God, you make an Uber pool

look like an Uber black. Yeah, I think I basically have like a projector and I like have like a hologram covering our shitty taxi streets. So you guys probably aren't going to be able to get a car until you get to zone six because you're going to be under heavy scrutiny if like you're driving through it.

I think we're getting a car like a block away for the show of arriving in a car. Sweet. So you guys have to kind of crisscross across different modes of transportation, straight up also having to like walk down subway tunnels where there's like not trains anymore because there have been attacks

by the gangs or by mothership or by mothership pretending to be the gangs. But eventually you do get out of a train in Zone 6. You see this is the sector of the city that has been completely taken over by mothership. This neighborhood and Zone 5 are both inside

the massive cavern of Old Cragwall. There are floating lanterns that light the streets, pristinely clean shops, bars and restaurants, expensive apartments and houses built into the mountain. Tons of screens, very time square with talking heads from Mothership News Network and ads for Mothership products. You see a giant holographic cowboy tipping his hat and smoking an electronic cigarette and a recording just going, Howdy, partner. Oh my God. Mothership synthesized tobacco has proprietary ingredients that are. They are so new scientists can't prove it causes cancer yet.

To this old cowboy, that means they're technically safe, takes a smoke. Mmm, that's Mothership's move. I add that logo to my back. Slug really struggles with holograms because she always tries to fight them. So she takes a swing at this moment. Oh shit, she's squared up. She's going to square up. It just restarts.

Howdy partner. Howdy partner? You muttership. Howdy partner. Mothership synthesized tobacco. is proprietary ingredients. We know that, sir. Sir, we're so sorry.

You already said that. Howdy, partner. Do clever. Mothership synthesized tobacco is proprietary ingredients. Yeah, we know. Guys, step away from the hot cowboy. We're so sorry, sir.

Howdy, partner. Wow, did he just wink at me? No. Honestly, Adam, would you? Everyone does. You're in. Hell yeah. You guys see the crown jewel.

of this part of the city is the new mothership HQ. It looks like the bow of a ship coming out of the mountain. This huge building with mothership written in red neon. See bright lights spill out from the main entrance as a crowd of well-to-do people and hangers-on file in. You see people with like ostentatious suits with lights all over the trim, elaborate neon hair colors, silver and gold makeup,

lots of people walking in with like neon angel wings. The vibe is very robot. Sheik. Okay. I immediately need angel wings too. Great. Can I find someone who looks like a piece of shit and beat them up and steal their wings? Yeah, you see, uh, go ahead and give you a perception check.

Okay. Oh, no. Ten. Okay. Uh, with a ten, you see somebody you can't tell if they're good or bad. You just, somebody walking in with angels' wings and they go, I don't know how I feel. about being here. But I guess by being here, I'm complicit.

And starts to walk in the door. Fuck it, they keep the wings. You know, I'm just going to try to slight of hand the wings. Go ahead and give me a sleight of hand check. Oh, 23. Okay. We steal the wings off this complicit person's back. I saw the person that took him. They ran that way.

Yeah, that's, you know what? I'm probably not going to do anything about it. I don't really have. They were no angel. I don't have strong feelings one way to the other. Are you depressed? Yeah. What's your name? Jonathan. Ronathan?

Sure. Did you miss hear you or did you say Ronathan? I said Jonathan, but Ronathan's cool. I'll be wrong. I'll call you the name that you are. I like Ronathan. I like Donathan. I like Donathan.

Donathan. Donathan. Jonathan. Jonathan is pretty good. But why does that have to be thin? Donatine. Yeah. Not a ton.

Not a ton. Because you are a ton. You think you're thin, but you're a ton. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know. You see you just litters a little bit. I give him a hundred gold.

What? Don a ton. They're just going to clean it up later. Who's going to clean it up? Yeah, it's just a robot or something, right? I mean, but you could at least do your pot. Okay. Because the robot doesn't have to pick up your garbage.

Then it picks up and everything else. All right. He bends down and picks it up. You have more of a backbone, right? Yeah, stand up to us. Stand up to us. The robot's going to pick it up. I mean, I guess if, like, now that you're making me pointing out, I guess, like, you have my angel wings that I made.

I square up to fight. She had these before. She had these long before. This was her idea. You can have them. Oh, you can have a ton of time. Yeah. Don a ton of time.

Donata. You know, what, I'm just going to order dinner from a mothership eats and go home. Oh, god. Really? That's more complicit than going to this gal. Really? You think so? Yeah, I do think so. Okay.

You see litters a little bit more. Let's drops another rapper. Okay. I'm going to tackle him, but not do damage. He's a commander. He's so hurt. He goes like, he goes on a ton. I mean, I work for mothership, so I can, you know, I got okay health insurance.

It's not good. Wait, what do you do for mentorship? I do like social media posts. Like, it'll be like, uh, mothership shipping to you now, uh, free shipping. Okay, wow. So that's just really low level complacency, huh? Getting, getting the word out. Just getting the word out, yeah.

Okay. Well, you know, hey, I'm rooting for you. Okay. Cool. Oh, get the fuck out of you. Get out of here. Okay. Bye.

Just walks in like a really sad apartment building. That just says apartment pods. Wow. Oh, I'm worried. I'm worried. about Donathan. Well, that was good diplomacy warm up. I think we won him over.

I hadn't thought of that. All right. Now I'm ready to schmooze. I could mingle. We got so much information out of him. Yeah, we made good small talk. Wait, we didn't even talk about who's going to wear a glove? Oh.

Oh, you got to wear the glove. You got the strong grip. I do look like a supermodel right now. I am having a difficult time breathing beneath this silver skull mask because of the deviated septum. Should we take out that tooth? That was like it was an airway that you that were blocking.

Oh yeah, maybe just... I can file it down. I'll give it a little... I'll give it a tiny little chip. Yeah, file down the tooth and then maybe if you could just put a couple straws up my nose and they just peek out the bottom of the mask.

Okay, we'll be rolling on Akana check. There we go, that's a 23. Okay. Yeah, you've got great breathing through your nose right now. We're a soldering gun so close to your nostril. You hear a little buzz in your ear from the earpiece. And now now. Specter going, hey, just so you know I can hear everything.

Do you have any advice? Yes. So I would consider going in. What did you think of that guy? What did you think of a ton? I didn't think about him really at all. Well, what do you think about the fact that we've got one less person going in the building? So we've increased our chances of making contact.

I mean, you could have gotten a security card off of him and he said he worked at mothership. Oh, that's why I asked what he did. He would have been lower levels, but maybe he could have gotten you into like a more, you know, closed off area. I wasn't thinking. The whole conversation was bizarre, so I didn't like. You guys weirdly got sort of fixated on this guy. They just seemed kind of like lukewarm bad maybe.

Yeah. No, he wasn't great. He was absolutely wasn't great. I was worried. He seemed like he was, I've been watching a little bit like through like, you see there's like a little, camera on top of Rover. Or I could also be wearing a corsage. Yeah, you got a course, I said has a camera. Yeah, and she goes, I think best move would probably be, you've got passes, get inside.

I don't know that Petunio will probably give some kind of greeting or speech at some point. Yeah, get a handshake. Yeah. But ask around, kind of find out who's who. That's good. That's good. Okay. I climb on top of Rover.

Go on. Beep, beep. Wow. He goes so slow. Here comes the greatest Formula One racer ever known. Vroom. You guys get to the entrance of this building. You see, at the entrance, there are several mothership knights in glowing blue plate mail,

wearing these like T-shaped helms that connect to tubes, very like stormtrooper. They are waving people in as they enter the main archway. There's a device that looks like a huge metal detector, but it seems to be scanning people for invitations. I'll say go ahead and make a, you can either do like a tech arcana or a deceptive. check with advantage as you enter. Okay. So I'll hand over the invitation.

Great. That's an 18. Great. Nice. Okay. You guys get the green as you go through the detector. A metal detected, and I point to myself. You see, one of the soldiers goes, really good.

That was awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Have a great night. That's really funny. Can I like clock any of like the security cards hanging from them? Do they look at the gate only gets to third level or would they get to 10? You would think that these regular mothership nights would probably only have like

the base level clearance which wouldn't be the upper floors. You'd probably have to find like an executive or something like that. We'll have to schmose in the main. Okay, but do we want to do a dry run? Oh, just infiltrate like floor seven. Kind of low stakes. Let's see what's up.

Yeah, okay. Oh, we could go to the cafeteria. Now are you saying it, I'm realizing well, they might have they might have all king size kids. Andy bars. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah,

that's what I'm saying. And those big tubes of jelly beans. You see one of the mothership guards is eating a full-size milky way. Like where to get that Milky Way? Okay, okay. Hi, excuse me, sir. Yes. I'm a supermodel.

And I was wondering where supermodels use the restroom. Inside. Do you have a special toilet for supermodels? Is what she's asking? There's a lot of supermodels here. Very important pisser. There's a lot of supermodels here. And do they all?

You're like the 30th supermodel I've seen here. Oh, okay. So you're so bored of supermodels now? I'm honestly pretty bored of supermodels, yeah. I'm around supermodels literally all this time. That's, hey, hey. Well, which supermodels have you seen that I can do this? Slugs, you got this.

What are you going to do? I crunched out on my... You want? I crunched out of my tooth and eat it in front of me. Oh, Jesus. Give me an intimidation set. 13. This guy looks like a little bit rattled.

He just goes, go inside. While we're having this conversation, I'm going to try to slide a hand, steal his cot. Nice. Okay. You guys aren't even going to get in if this guy catches you. Did me eating my tooth gift? 13. He's a knight. He's like, he's annoyed. How many other supermodels ate their tooth on the way in?

What did you get, Ox? I got a two on my side of me. Okay. Go ahead and roll initiative. I was just looking at your cuts. You hear Specter goes, behave, behave. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Neutralize, neutralize. All right. I got a 12. 10. 22. Oh, we got to kill this guy.

We can't. You can't kill him. You're at the front of the part. You guys did this in front of literally everyone. We got to just try to convince him that we're idiots and not. Okay. So at initiative 22 is Adam, but this guy notices. We got a thief here and goes, grabs Ox's arm, goes to put it behind his back and goes to like hit him with his little electro blade. Okay.

Oh, no. Adam, you are first to act. People nearby kind of go, huh. I will take response. responsibility for this thief. He is with me. I have been tracking him for a while now and was waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Give me a deception check.

As you can see, I am a secret agent. That's why I'm wearing this tuxedo. Remember how funny he was. He made you laugh with the detect metal thing. That was disarming. I am going to, can I cast detect thoughts as I do this to try and like read what he's thinking? Yeah.

Okay. So I can use that once a day because there's like the telepathy feat. Sure. And I'm going to say that I'm essentially like hacking the network to like get into his mind. Okay. So you're just going to do, are you just going to do the base level where he doesn't do a save and you just get his surface thoughts? Okay. His surface thoughts are just that he thinks ox is a con artist that comes to events like this and tries to steal stuff from people. Okay. So he's like thief, kill the thief. Like just he's just going to kill him right here. Listen, between you and me, I know that this will be a lot of paperwork. I've been tracking this guy for a while, and I was going to accost him inside to try and make a scene so that I could get accommodation. You were going to make a scene at the party? Yes, so that I could be introduced.

You know what? I'll shoot you straight. I wanted Petunia Glenn Bottled to see me make this arrest. Go ahead and give me a persuasion or deception check. All right, can they do deception? Sure. All right, cool. Certainly.

Okay, that's an 18. You know what? I'm going to add my built for success to that, so I had a 1D4. Okay. That's a four. Nice. So that becomes, with my deception, that is a 27. Oh!

Okay. No, don't make an example of me, robot. You see the one guy kind of looks at you, Adam, and is still hanging on to ox, like, getting ready to attack. But then the other knight there goes, oh, he's with the jailbreakers. I think this is a between-gangs thing. And you see the knight who has a... ox go, okay, settle it for yourselves outside. Go to zone five. Kicks you guys both out. Right. You guys are both kicked out.

Oh, okay. Sorry for the trouble. As they get kicked out, I think I want to whip out the picture we have of us with quirky Glenn bottle and just say, look, I know this is a shit. You're just like, please just somebody go in. I know this is a shit night, but I'm just going to put it out there. Those two knuckleheads, the friends. with corky. So I don't know. I mean, look, I've talked to people who work for the Glenn bottles,

and they say you got to kind of tread lightly around Corky because, yeah, he's the fail some, but also he can get you fired. You see the mothership knights are like beside themselves. Like, what do you mean you friends with Corky Glenn Bottle? Where did you get this picture? Are you showing this picture to people? I'm saying that these two guys, they just kicked out, the friends with Corky. Then they should stay far.

far away from this place. Okay. Okay. No skin off my back. I'm headed in. I'm headed in. No skin off my back. Come on you.

Let's get out of here. I hit ox on the back of the head really hard. Oh, okay. Not really faking it, huh? Okay. So ox and Adam are kicked out of the... Okay. So I am immediately going to go in and try to find a way to get them in.

Try to find a door to leave open. Okay. Great. Nice. All right. So here's what. I'll say you see. Specter, how are we doing so far?

So, okay, so just a few notes. I know you guys aren't used to going on the mission like by themselves. Just trying to steal a card to get to level seven. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so like if you're going to steal a card, right? Yeah. Find like a drunk engineer or something. Okay, like not the front door guy, right?

Okay, but that seems so high space, so we wanted to do a bit of practices. Okay, so practice. The thing is, though, it's not practice when it's like the guards at the front door, because then you don't even get in the front door. I kind of think it went well. Listen, Elmer used to just shoot people in the head with his gun arm. And that worked really well. Okay.

I got to be honest, guys, I didn't picture us ever pulling something off like that. That deception you did, Adam, was nuts. By the way, your gum tooth is still there. So you ate your other, you ate your real tooth. That's awesome. Now I'm missing my full front teeth. I've never been more beautiful. The fact that you all aren't in a windowless cell right now is like,

incredible. But I will just say that having done nothing but walked, you could all three be in there right now. Like just baseline. Right, but I think we loined a lot. You loined a lot? Okay. You loined a lot. You learned a lot. All right. So...

Right, the skin of our missing tea. You guys... I can't believe I actually crunched the real... That's so cool. Try to whistle now. I do one push on. Adam and Oaks are just like stuck out outside in the shitty area of Times Square.

Should we go to the store? I would like to buy one big M&M. Oh, let's pregame while we wait. Okay. Yeah, you guys go to like a really overpriced TGI Sky Days. They got one here. Really bland food. And meanwhile, Slug, you are the only one who made it inside.

Okay. Okay, so hang on. Let me just go out of the fucking room. Everything you're saying, I'm saying through the headset. Okay, great. Hey, hey, can you get... Do you read... Hold on, it's really loud in the M&M store.

Okay, could you not? I don't want you to go to the M&M store without me? We'll get you one. You want a big Eminem? I want the minis because it makes me look so huge. Oh, you're right. You got to understand this. They're coming out with a new M&M.

What? I'm leaving. I'm leaving right now. It's called MNMNMN. I don't know what the 30M stands for. Probably more because there's more M. So they're at the Eminem story. And you,

they're a little drunk, you enter and are greeted by a stunning foyer. This feels more like a club than headquarters. You see the room is dark. Save the mood lighting. You see a giant glowing crystal chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. There are round tables.

encircled by neon lights, a long bar to your left with the same thing, open bar, lit up tonics and mixers on shelves behind a robot bartender who quickly serves guests. You see strange, smooth gray constructs that look like mannequins hover and serve snacks and drinks. To your right, there's a short staircase down to a dance floor where a DJ and a giant welder's mask pumps, beats, and people dance. There are some tables over there where people drink and mingle. straight ahead of you, you see a grand staircase leading up to a second floor. The whole second floor is like a wraparound balcony that overlooks the first floor.

You see it looks like there's a second level to the bar on the left side up there. And dead center, there are two mothership nights guarding an elevator. You'd have to go up to the second floor to see more of what's going on up there. So right now what I'm looking for is a place for my friends to come in. So I want to look for the shyest, most. scared person working here. Okay. I'll say, go ahead and give me a perception check.

21. 21. You don't see many people that are shy or scared because you're at, you're at essentially what is like a crowded club. You get the sense that because of like mothership's tech, that they were able to like turn this place over. Oh, because it's all robots rather than caterers. There's all robots rather than caterers, but there are people who work here who are at the party.

So I'll say downstairs is very crowded. Upstairs looks a little quieter. Like that's where people are going to like talk and stuff. Or maybe the people who are a little shy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I basically want to find someone quietly intimidate them into showing me the service entrance. Okay.

So I'm using my 21 for Ider. If there's someone who looks like there, if I recognize someone. work in it and I think that they might be also up to no good tonight or if I see someone who's just kind of shy newbie all gently try to intimidate someone high at work okay great so here's what I'll say that you see immediately to your left with a 21 you see that amongst these like hangers on you see a pack of South Avenue jimmies here wearing their like normal South Avenue Jimmy stuff. And you see Thin Jim is there, one of James's lieutenants. You see he is a gnome in a newsboy cap, skinny and

taller than a lot of his compatriots. Wears metal pants and metal suspenders and has like a laser sight monicle over his left eye. You see he is like making kind of a scene like shouting at the bartender. Hey, Tin Man, I ordered a bourbon. This is

a rye! And then he kicks it back anyway and drinks it. Eh, ha, ha. Just like being a fucking prick. This is the guy that James hates. Yes, this is the lieutenant that James is feuding with. He's got a bunch of young punks around him like, Hey, Jim, that's so fucking funny.

So they're like laughing it up and everything. You see, I'll say you do a little bit of a lap. You see down in the like club area, young blunder there from the Hammer and Circuits gang. he's got unstable tech where he augments himself in ways that are like straight up dangerous. He's got like a clear dome over his head where like you can see his brain and just has like a giant hammer with him that like shocks him with like electro bolts. As he sits there with like a crew, he's a little bit even though he's got like some wild augmentations. He's not as like loud and annoying as like thin gym.

You also see Spathrid here and a few of those other bots. You see some other people in like sort of a bottle service area. You see like a dwarf man with like a long black beard and black hair. It's got like a blue like sapphire shimmery suit on. Seems to be like surrounded by people. And he has a couple knights that are like guarding him. You also see upstairs if you do like a little bit of a loop. Two mothership nights guarding the elevator there.

you also see a stairwell that looks like it is controlled by a keycard but maybe like one of the lower level keycards because it's just on the second level here. So there's a stairwell there. And then you see a smaller bar where people are sitting at like little pub tables that are like glowing under. It's still got a little bit of a club vibe, but like they're looking down and kind of watching the more wild people. The person that sticks out the most to you here, you see there's like a robot bartender. But you also see someone here, a Goliath woman with, you see she's like very tall, but she's hunched over. It looks like the type of person that is like maybe like sits at a computer all day. It's got like really small glasses and is just nursing a drink.

It's got like a martini glass and she clinks it for the robot bartender to fill her up again. And she's sitting over by herself and looks like quite. miserable. I'm going to post up next to the miserable Goliath woman and near the bartender. And I'm going to say to the bartender, this thin gym's giving you a hard time, huh? So this is like the sort of upstairs area. But this robot goes, yes, he was up here before. It was very scary. Okay. This is sort of the quiet area for the people that just want to hang out. and he wants to scream and take shots. And he says that he ordered a bourbon,

but he orders rye. And then when he gets the rye, he yells and says he ordered a bourbon. And he drinks it anyway. Yeah. It's very confusing. I'm a bit of a mixologist myself. So mixologist to mixologist, I hate a patron like that. I got a couple friends that could probably kind of neutralize him.

You see this robot programmed by mothership just goes, You seem nice. Please don't tell the robots your plans or anything like that. Sure thing. Sure thing. You can't see my face anyways because I'm wearing a skull. Sure. I'll turn to the Goliath woman and just say, what dragged you here?

What dragged me here? Yeah. You see, visibly very drunk and irritated. I gave 10 years to this company. 10 years I worked in Esri, they sent me here I live in a pod!

I can't even stand up. I can't even stand up in the pod. Ask her if she knows Donathan. Yeah. Not a ton. I have the scientific background. I have the experience, but that idiot rance copricot gets the promotion

just because he's friends with the manager. Oh, that's... Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it's all about who you know. It's a little boys club. Corky Glenn Bottle and his little freaking boys club. You got to get into CyberSkitch because it can be a girls club. Yeah, you do Skyber Skitch?

Yeah, I do Cyberskitch. Yeah, I do Cyberskitch. Yeah. What's your name? Take a while of it. Well, I was trying, look, honestly, I was trying to understand. Are we at the level where I give you my nickname already? Because I feel like we're having a personal intimate conversation.

So I was deciding, do I tell you Danielle or Danny? Fuck it. Let's go Danny, right? Let's go Danny. Let's go Danny. What's your name? Iva. Iva.

Iva, what's your scientific expertise that's getting so fucking overlooked? Okay. Well, I am an enchanter, okay? And I know how to actually make magic items, whereas Rance and Korky wouldn't know a can't trip from a polymorph, frankly. Rance and Korky are going to run this place into the ground. You got a plan B? Do I have a plan? I'm thinking about quitting.

You thinking about... I'm thinking about walking out. Okay, okay, bartender. Two more shots to quit. All right, yeah, fuck it. Fuck it. We're done. We're done. So I want...

Do you actually... Okay, so when you order shots, do you actually, are you going to say rye and then me and get mad and say burbin or... Hey, I offered you an out on that problem. And you said no. You're right. Okay. So maybe I'm not the problem.

Yeah, okay. Okay, two shots. Yeah, two shots. Deal is choice. Iva clinks your glass. Thanks my glass. I'm gonna like link arms and I want to try to scope out if I see where like if she has a purse where a key card would be.

Yeah, you see she's got like sort of a lab coat type thing on and her key card is like hanging off there. She's got one. Okay. I'm gonna try to grab it. I'm gonna try to play it off like um, like I'm also tipsy. Cool. And like kind of like slip off the bar stool and then steady myself like.

grabbing the pocket. Ten. Okay. She got a nine. Whoa. Oh, wow. She doesn't have great perception right now. Yeah.

She's drunk. He successfully, a little clumsily, but you get her key card. And she goes, those motherfuckers are upstairs right now doing arcane. Corky's up? Corky's upstairs doing arcane with his little crew. but which floor they're probably I think they have like a conference room

that they do it on like the fifth floor fifth floor I tell you what I wish them the worst I wish them I hope corky dies slow I hope he falls into a machine

feet first wow oh like a paper shredder that's on slow yeah yeah yeah you know what I think it's gonna happen for you all right

I'm gonna quit Fuck it. Fucking quit. Fuck my pod. Fuck your pod. Go move to this. Why are you living in the city? Go move to the country.

Someone like you, I imagine you with a little garden. Little garden. Little garden. I can, I can, I see you painting with your free time. I see you, I see you watching the bunnies that come visit your garden. You see, your talents are wasted. She thinks about the bunnies and starts sobbing. Do we kill her now?

I'm just going to like hug her and be like, I'm so sorry. Just realize I got to, I got to take a shit. And then I want to try to go to this door, the stairwell that might go to, I want to basically make an entrance for them to get in. Okay, cool. OX finisher, M&M. You're still working on one? It's huge.

Oh, no, they have huge ones. Yes. This one's a novelty. They have unreleased colors out here. How much are not a purple? I'll get you one. What color you one? Orange.

They don't have one. What? They're out of orange. Sorry. I'm sorry. Don't buy it coming. They have marigold. I can get you a yellow and a brown.

You see, you see, uh, Donathan has bought the last orange emma, he's there. I'll sell it to you for like a lot of money, I guess. Oh my God, Donovan. Just get the fuck out of here. He crumbles. You get the orange eminemone. Okay.

I got you on it. All right. So with this key card, you're able to sneak off into the stairwell. Go ahead and give me, I'll say stealth check with advantage. It wouldn't be that crazy for employees to, like, go in and out and go to the different offices and stuff. 17. Okay, 17. Without anyone noticing, you wait for, like, a couple people to walk by.

You get into the stairwell. There are no guards posted up. You do hear some people, like, upstairs. You suspect that maybe if you were to climb the stairs all the way up to, like, the more locked down area that it might be bad. But as you go downstairs to like a side entrance, you see that there is another door that opens up into like a parking garage. Great.

There would be different like cars and stuff like that. Okay. I'm going to like, before you open it, you do see that there's like an alarm attached to it. You see like wires all along it. Okay. Okay.

So I'm staring at an alarm. Okay. Can Specter hack into the alarm system? I think it would need to be. Someone on the ground there. Gotcha. Okay. So what do I got to do to neutralize an alarm?

Okay. I know how to do it. I'll just have to explain it to you from outside the door. Okay. Yeah. All right. So here's what I'm going to say. This little, like, parking garage area, you guys can sneak into that.

You guys go around sort of the side of the building. See, there's a parking garage where all these, like, rich people's, like, self-driving hover craps and stuff are going into. I crouched down on Rover, so it looks like I'm a time. tiny little formula. And do you guys have any abilities or anything that you want to apply before you go in because you do see that there are more guards and knights here? There's no knights that are actually like at this side door here, but there are ones like

in the parking garage. In the parking garage? Okay. Okay, so we're sneaking. Yes. Do you want me to try and distract them using telepathy? I could send out a false alarm. Oh, yeah.

And that could draw them to another place. Then we sneak past. What I'm going to do is I will, using telepathy, speak into one of the guards' minds and say, someone's shit in this cyber truck. Okay. Okay, so a knight that's, like, directly in your path. You tell them that someone's shit in a cyber truck. I'll do it from hiding.

Okay, got you. I'll pretend to be one of those, like, parking guards that has, like, the long arm. Got you. Okay. Go ahead and give me a deception check. All right. I'm going to use one of my luckies for this one from my merchant background. Uh, dirty 20.

Dirty 20. Okay. With a dirty 20, this guy does not seem crazy concerns that they're shit, but he does look confused. He like taps his ear and he does walk forward and walk away from the like stairwell that you guys need to get into. When you hear him say to one of the other nights, he goes, I think I'm on like a valet channel or something like that. I mean, the valets don't clean the shit out of, it'd be like a private vehicle coming in there. So I think it'd be like someone else's. job, but yeah, something's, something's up with my help. It's weaponized shit.

You see a bunch of guys are like gathering around and looking into this one car, looking for shit. Go ahead and I'll say stelt checks with advantage. Nice, okay. Oh yeah, thank God. Not an at one, but a 27. I got a 24.

You guys successfully sneak in to the door, at least. So you get past these nights and there's this one, dirty kind of surface entrance that takes you into the stairwell. On your side, it looks like it might be locked, but it opens from the inside, and as Slug had told you,

there's some kind of alarm attached to it. Okay. OX, think you can handle this alarm, or do we need to be on the inside? Yeah, I'm going to describe exactly how the alarm looks to OX. Okay, yeah. I've got all my tools here. So if you describe everything,

then I can try to disarm it. Great. Okay, go ahead and give me a tech, Arkana check, to like hack and take down the alarm for this door. I'm going to say your help action will just allow him to roll flat because otherwise he would be rolling with disadvantage. Oh, my nice dice. That is a 26. Yes. Okay.

I'll say you straight up rig something so that you can go under the door and based on what slug you're able to cut a wire that disarms the alarm without sending like a ping or an error to any of the other like security officers. This allows Slug to open it. And you guys are now at stage one. You've got M&M. He got me on each one. It's tied with blood. I had to.

I love it. I had to knock Donatan out. So first of all, let's all congratulate ourselves on a successful injury. So far, so good. Spectre, I think we're doing like a speed run. Okay, yeah. Doesn't it feel like that? You've got a card to go higher.

That's good. You can't get up to the safe yet. You could have just gotten in right away, sort of with your passes. Right, but now we know the lay of the land. Also, I think we learn some new skills. And we have an M&M. I know if you heard, but I was able to get an R&M. I got an orange Eminem.

Farr. Did you want an M? Oh, Specter. Are you good? I don't want an M&M, no. Oh, she's just saying that because she knows we forgot it. They're really big. You forgot it, yeah.

It's okay. It's fine. Okay, okay. So I got some intel that we got, uh, Korky's on the fifth floor. Great. To an arcane with some guy named Rantz Koppapot that just got a promotion that he didn't deserve. Okay. Great.

So do we want to just go up there right now? Because I feel like Korky's going to have the Primo security guy. Oh, do you have any drugs? to any of your alchemical supplies stimulator, get anybody high? So I'm kind of a biohacker, so it only works on me. Oh.

Okay. Just the most welcome sight to somebody doing arcane is somebody coming with more. Maybe we should just go to the bathroom. Can I look through my alchemist supplies and see if I can fashion anything mildly stimulating? You probably could,

but you would think that this rich guy would probably have better drugs. Also, from the sounds of it, this guy has kind of retreated to a conference room where he could go snort Arcane with his buddies. It doesn't sound like it would be super easy for you guys to slide in and be like, hey, what's up? This sounds like you probably would have to knock him out or be stealthy about it.

Or we could buy some drugs in the bathroom. You see Spector chimes in and goes, you guys haven't been that good at talking to people. So, like, you don't always have to. I'm thinking we might just go and knock him and his friends out. I think that could be good. I don't remember what Arcane does. What does Arcane do to them? Like, what are we walking into?

So, I'll go ahead and give me, I guess, like, a history check. You guys can do it with advantage. Okay. I have alchemical supplies, so. 14? 13. Okay. You know that it gives you haste with side effects.

Love it. Honestly, it's good for battle in a pinch if, like, you're in a lot of trouble, but there will be, like, a crash at some point. Gotcha. I think we need to just get, like, a round where we get the fight, they don't get the fight, and maybe we hopefully take them all out. Right. Try to get a jump on them.

If it's a conference room, it's probably one of those ones that have, like, everything is all glass. It's a fishbowl. I could try to overload their augments and put them to sleep. That sounds cool. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So I give that a shot, and if they don't fall asleep, then we knock them the fuck out. Yeah. Okay. So I think we stealth up to the fifth floor. Yes. Great. Until we see the conference room that has some kind of light coming from it.

You guys sneak up the stairwell. Again, you hear nights patrolling higher up, but on the fifth floor, you're all good with a keycard. So you get up to the fifth floor of the stairwell. You scan your keycard, door clicks open, you go in. You see cold fluorescent light as you step out into the hall. A few glass offices that are empty. There are glowing lights from different monitors in like different offices. Go ahead and give me perception checks.

That one. Okay. 14? 23. Nice. All right. You hear howling coming from down the right corridor. Okay. Let's stealth down it. Still stealth. Yes. It could be revelrous howling. Yeah, body howling?

I have 120 feet of dark vision. So I should be able to see way before we're alike. You guys start sneaking down and you hear as you get closer, Owl. Wow. Sounds like it's good stuff. What's the chorus of out-out-out-ow's? How many people does it sound like?

I'll say you got over a 20? Yeah. Okay, you hear four members of the wolf pack. Four members of the wolf pack. Do you think they're actual werewolves? Absolutely does not sound like they're weirdness. You sneak up and you see this glass conference room. There is a shimmering purple powder in the middle of the table.

and this looks like high quality arcane. Okay. I do have like a fanny pack that I keep my syringes in. So I'm like, well, first of all, I'll go into a rage. Yeah. I take out two syringes, a needle in each cheek. But then like I'm going to be like motion to my fanny pack and the powder to be like, let's fill this thing up. Cool.

Yeah, this is a drug bust. Cool. Yeah, you see four halfling dudes in like various state of disheveled business clothes. one guy who you recognize as being quirky Glenn bottle sort of like red-faced he's the one that's like yelling

about being the wolf pack and he goes I'm not going to my sister's party because I am an alpha alpha's party but they work hard business idea rants go and you see this other dude rant snorts a line and he's just scratching his head and he goes like okay okay

what about it's like mothership eats, but it's hot curls show up on rollerblades, and the rollerblades are the food. It's like donuts and shit. So like the rollerblades are donuts. So then they show up and then you eat the donuts off of the hot curls feet. And then you see, Corkie slaps him in the face and goes, the food would get dirty. Think again, Rance. You're a wolf.

You're in the wolf pack. They're screaming at each other. Yeah. No. They should be hover rollerblades, obviously. You do see two mothership enforcers. inside. You get the sense that robot guards hang out around corky

because human guards can't hang. Do we try to draw the bodyguards to us, have as quiet of a scuffle as we can, and then proceed toward them? That seems like the plan. I don't know if I'll be able to knock these guards out. They won't be susceptible to sleep. Yeah.

Okay. So do we want to hug a shadow and just throw something down the hallway. Yeah. Okay, go ahead and give me a deception check. Okay, I can use my magical tinkering to infuse a little orb, and I can make it emit a noise or a smell, too. Okay, great.

Dude, what's the noise and what's the smell? What it could rip ass to be a fad? You hear Spector go, But then wouldn't they just think it was one of the halflings that did it? Oh, okay. So the noise would be like, yeah. So a robot guard probably wouldn't go like after a fart.

Maybe it should sound, okay. Maybe it should sound like a, like a siren going off, but it could smell like a fire. So it still smell like a fart. Okay. Okay. Yes. Don't speak for all robots. I'd go after the fart.

Okay. All right. So why don't we go handle this all an initiative? Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Shout out to the two crew. Seven. 17. 24.

Top of the round. Go ahead and give me a, I'll say stealth check with advantage because these dudes are screaming and the enforcers are just kind of watching them. 24. 30. 13.

I look like a water fountain. For the record, I could see them from 120 feet away, though, so I was staying back. I'll say with a group stealth check, you guys are able to pass. So you guys are quiet. Adam acts first, but ox, you can decide to take the first action

if you would like. To roll out my little magic item. I can only put one magic property in each of the little obs, so I'll do. So you don't have to do the fart. I'll do two. Because one will just be the farts. Right. And then the other will be the alarm.

Better to improve our chances. Right. Farts just for us. I can do the same times. So you're going to make a little alarm. You're going to sort of throw this item down the hallway and then have it go off deeper down. Yeah, almost like a door, like a door is open or something. Okay.

You know, not a full alarm, but like, um, yeah. Just like, like, like, woo. Ooh, cool. That'd be my suggestion. Exactly. Do you want to record that? Yeah. Boop, pooh.

Can I do the fart? Without the tooth, you make a really loud, like, a really loud whistling noise. Go ahead and give me a deception check. 13. Okay. I will roll in front of the table. Oh. They have a plus four to this roll.

Okay. So they need nine or higher. They realize somebody's fucking with them. Well, we'll get them to come to us no matter what. Six. Sniff that far, dude. Okay, one of them activates. You see they were in kind of in a sleep mode.

You see the four halflings like jump up like, whoa, you fucking scared me, dude. That one leaves the conference room and goes down the hall to investigate your object. That's good. Yeah. One enforcer left in the room. Adam, you are first. first to act. Okay, so I'm going to aim the sleep spell at the four halflings. I imagine they're all

grouped together. Yeah. Great. So I will try to hack their implants and put them to sleep, which probably will not cause alarm because they're getting high. So if they pass out, that's to be expected. Great. Okay. Go ahead and you roll HP for that, right? You're essentially casting the sleep spell. It is different in 224 now. Okay, what is the new? What is the new spell? It's just a wisdom save for everyone within five feet. What is your save? It's 15. 15.

Wisdom. These guys definitely don't have good wisdom. They have to get 15 or higher. Plus, zero to wisdom. Those business ideas, though? Yeah. One passes. Okay.

Not quirky, though. You see, corky just crashes down, passes out. Three of the dudes just drop. And the other guy, rants, is the one that's still awake. He grabs his turn and goes like, oh, my God, I fucking killed them. Adam, you have the rest of your turn, however you'd want to use. it. You see the enforcer activates and is going to like go investigate whatever happens next. Yeah, there's nothing else I can do with a bonus action. So I'm just going to like pursue this guard into the room and start the fight.

Yeah, you run in. You see this one enforcer opens up its chest. You see like a plasma cannon come out, gets ready to fight. You see this one halfling dude is just fucking freaked out. After your turn, that is his turn. He has haste. He takes a he takes an action. to run. He uses his movement to run. He uses his haste to run. Would we get it? Would we get an opportunity attack? He don't get an opportunity attack. He gets a hundred, he gets a hundred feet away. Okay, okay. Just burst through the door. No one said anything about blocking the door or anything. God damn it. Burst out the door and his running is going to like take off. That's fine. Oh, I can hit him with a firebolt. Oh, okay. Cool. And then after the halflings turn, the rest of the halflings are still asleep, that is Ox's turn. Okay. As soon as he gets out the door. We got a runner.

We got a runner. You did kill him, and you're going down for it. I jump off rover, a barrel roll onto the ground. I pull off a sawed-off blunderbuss. I'm behind my back. I'm going to bonus action branding smite to try to catch this guy. And I will also use my savage attacker feet, which is going to let me roll the damage dice twice.

I'll use the higher one. Oh, my God. My two attacks, that is an 18 and 19 on the die. Certainly both hit. 27 and 26. Okay. 30 damage. Explodes into meat.

Just ground beef explodes in all directions. Oh shit. My girl downstairs is getting the promotion after all. The girls on the donut rollerblades is our idea now. So, wait, just to be clear, security now has like a log of her key card coming up here and the guy who got the promotion exploded. You better hope she goes to the country and chases the rabbits. We got arrested.

rescue her, I think. Yeah, yeah, we will. We'll invite her back to the arcade. Yes, the kill screen arcade. It's a safe house. Okay, anything you want to do with the rest of your turn? I think I'll just use my movement to get into the room. Great.

So everybody is. You get into the room. Slug, that is your turn. Enforcers did not roll well. I am going to just reckless attack this enforcer that is alerted in the room. Great. You hop into the conference room. You can see the-

That's a crit, baby. Oh, my fuck. She did it. I'm going to. And I crit on a 19-en. 20 kids of my feet. Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, you guys see, as you guys are attacking

and there's these huge surge of power, you see the lights begin to flicker in the room. And you guys are in this office with like floor to ceiling windows. So you see like the lights of Neo-Galateron, like behind you, like the glow of the city as you guys like fight in the shadows here. 29 damage. Jesus. Okay, big chunk of this enforcer blows off,

but is still standing? It also has a topple property, so got to do a comment. on save or go prone. Okay. Nice. 24. Still standing. And then my second attack,

21. 21 hits. 17 damage. Okay, 17 damage. It's going to use a reaction to do a disruptive pulse. Go ahead and give me a DC-12 intelligence saving throw.

As you hit into it with a second hit, you feel like an electro bolt shock you through your arm as it tries to like hack into some of your augments. 18 on the back That passes no effect Okay and now because I crit

My great weapon master means I get to do a bonus action attack with the same weapon Okay sick That's another fucking crit because I got a nice That's amazing 22 damage Okay insanely hurt Sparks going up This thing has like shed lots of its exoskeleton

But you see its weapons are still there to make attacks on its turn Rance is dead and it's your fault What did you do? You killed the halflings. Seems like a sad robot. First thing it's going to do is use its plasma cannon. Shoots out at Slug here. That is a crit.

Oh, it has advantage on it. Oh, great. Well, it crit anyway. Save that cannon, though. That is a good prize for the prize counter. 21 damage with the crit. What kind of damage? It is fire damage.

Okay. And then it is going to take a set. second attack to do a slam attack. You see, just takes this big metal fist and pounds at you with advantage. That is a 24 to hits. Hits. 14 bludgeoning damage. Wow.

Bludgeoning. Okay, I have that. Okay. Nice. When it hits on a slam attack, it also grabs you and grapples you, so you are grappled. It is going to, you know what? For its third attack, it uses something called a detention orb. It's going to shoot an orb out at essentially a poker.

ball at Adam. Adam, go ahead and give me a constitution-saving throw as you were about to be, like, trapped in a plasma prison. Is there a fat in there? It smells kind of bad, yeah. Oh, no. I'll go ahead and make this a lucky roll. That's a two and a four.

I don't think I can... Yep, that's just what it is. Okay, you guys see Adam is covered in, like, a pink plasma and is in a bubble and is just stuck there. Can be dispelled by somebody from the outside. but not by him. He is in a prison. It smells worse than the bean bags.

And then this thing, this thing has three attacks, and then it also has a bonus action. When they have somebody grappled, they can do a rocket jump and, like, essentially pile drive them in the air. So you see this thing? This is great.

This is like I'm playing cyber skitch. Let's go. This thing goes, its feet let off like an explosion that propel it into the ceiling and then back into the ground. It's going to do three D6 damage to a creature that it has grappled.

to do a total of 15 damage to you. Just bludgeoning. Okay, half. Okay, cool. You guys see a slug survives this giant robot pile driving her into the ground. I'm going off my back. You're fine. I might go downstairs and get a drink.

I'm going to say, you should play cyberskitch. What's your name? Beep, boop. That's rude. Only we can say bitch. That is he called her a bitch. It was fun of it. It's not okay.

It's absolutely not. That's not okay. You see, I don't mind it. That is the other enforcer's turn. The other enforcer is going to use all of his movement and action to come back. I can't make an attack this turn. You hear him coming down the hall. Go away.

Adam, that is your turn. Unfortunately, I hate to do this to you, but you guys are very powerful. You do kind of lose your turn unless you can. Is there anything you want to do from inside the bubble? You definitely can't make attacks. Can it cast a spell from inside the bubble? You, nothing will reach outside. if you've got something to buff yourself or whatever, you can,

but you're just in a prison of magic right now. Okay, magic prison. And you guys, so we have some alt rules here because you guys are like cyberkinetics, so you're a little bit magic. You can make an attack, and instead of doing damage, you can cast a spell magic. So essentially what you'll have to do is you'll have to hit the target

at a rate that is higher than the spells level. Right, but I can't do that from inside. You can't do that from inside, no. Interesting. Yeah, I think the only thing I can do is, I have a bonus action, bite the bullet, so I'll just give myself temp HP while I'm in here, just to kind of like... Yeah, I'll say you can also, if you want to like essentially hold your action, be like,

once I'm free, I do this thing. Ooh, yeah, I'll do that. So I'll bite the bullet to get a little HP. This is Timbhp. HP, and then I will prepare an attack. Sick. Okay, you prepare an attack. You're waiting inside the bubble. After Adam's turn, that is the half-links turn. I'll roll to see if they save to wake up.

Don't wake up. It's not worth it. They do not wake up. They stay sleeping. They're snoring at this point. That is Ox's turn. dream of new ideas for products. All right, so I need to attack this orb so you can get free, right?

Yes. Okay. This is going to be a DC-13. So go ahead and do basically like a tech-Arcana check against a DC-13 to try to hit. Okay. I'm going to aim like my mechanical gauntlet at you and like spray some sparks. 22. Sweet.

You punch into it. You feel some resistance at first. as the barrier around Adam starts to glitch. There's a little bit of lightning bolts around your gauntlet, but then it breaks, cracks, and dissolves. Adam, you fall down. You can take the rest of your turn now if you want. Hell yeah.

I land, dodge roll, and then appear right next to this enforcer. My arm turns into a shotgun. It has the scatter trait, which means that I can fire it at short range without taking disadvantage. Sick. So I just like pump two shots right into his head. Hell yeah, dude.

Here, have some Coke. Beep, boop. You have to stop. Did he call me a bitch again? Only my friends get to call me. It's fun when they do. Okay, the C word is off limits, dude. Unless you're my friend.

And you're not. Where the kill screens, bitch. Taste this. That's going to be two hits. And I also, because I'm at one level of rogue, have a sneak attack. add that as well. Sick. Okay.

It's 17 damage. Adam finished this in force. Yes. I put the shotgun like right under his chin. And I say to him, beep boop, motherfucker.

You blow his mechanical head off. Sparks fly all over. You guys are in this conference room with knocked out quirky Glenn bottle. You see his key card hanging precariously out of his butt pocket looks like pretty high level clearance but as you go to grab it you do see this last

enforcer has like a plasma gatling gun that comes out of his chest it starts smoking as it enters the conference room and that's where we'll end our second oh son of a bitch yeah dude give me the guy wow that was a really i was not expecting to have to do a side entrance you weren't no i wasn't wow i thought you'd have more m&m store stuff yeah i thought we It's actually a great question. What does the M&M do? Mechanically. Oh, yeah.

It's so good. We'll get into it on the short rest. You can listen to a short rest over at patreon.com slash NADPOD. That's NADD POD. Don't sing yet. We are. We are. We have a show so soon, April 10th.

At Radio City Music Hall, you might be able to get a last minute ticket. Nadpod.com slash live New York City. Come see us April 10th. In the meantime, you can follow us on social media. premiered maynett use at CSMERS me at Caldeyscaldewall Addie X-E-E-Exper's Emily at Shrikroo-H-Roches Jake And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod That's NADD-D-P-O-D.

We are, we are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are. The Youth of the Nation. It's the end of the show and you know what that means? It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord.

M. Kutter W. Olivia A. Daniel G. Daniel the dastardly dame. Carpe Liam. Victor T. Balmour's boy. Lloyd's a friend. His fortune. Justin I. Danny Danster. T.J. M. Haley. The Grey Faye. Dr. O'hee. Now you have to say it. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh that Cobald. Hellish rebuquer the N BDM Ph.D.H. Jack L. Nicholas C. star of every film ever made in Bohumia. Alka Smelzer, Pless. Great Value, Gemma. Tyler F. El Cupero's a rabbit-fuck detective. Timmy R. Jake's Jerk Jelly. Hashtagascopold. Cass. Stephen C. wants to remind you A-Cab.

W. Niko, the underpaid English teacher. Oh, hey, Agnitty's here. Nad Pod must be doing a New York show. That we are. See you there, Agnitty. William W. Big Bad Bird of the Mad. Zachary A.

Paceville, Frederick Stein, von Musel, Klausowski, De Roldo the Third. Jay Dragonborn, Guardian of the vibe, honoring the cock. Ben A. Dave H. That's Nick. Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce. Big Bad John. DPC is awesome. Brand new wife. Good for you. Shone the shade tree mechanic of Zobaldar. Summer Rose, Grand Terre. Mark the Dark Lord's Taint. Mesa of House and Zunza. Ariel the occasional mermaid. Selina and Valaci Raptor. Be perky always. Pelle. Serve 16. Annie the Faywild Therapist. Parogi frenzy. Biocourt 7. Jack H. King of the Mole people under Iron Deep dressed and blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament. Valen. Paj the bitch and bunny bard. Druidic Peyton. Carlin C. Omerie M. Noah the Gentleman Fister. Hashtag Anna the Cook.

James G. Ilksi, Arch Druid of dreams. Everything, Bego, the Ladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger, stripy. Reverend Chatterbones. Han!

Eric B. Marcos, PhD, eventually. Learns the balanced druid. Frida M. Maggie. Holly the Green, laughing hyena.

Papa Bombino and Chinos. Russell H. Cody C. Lorelei, the succubia and Kira, the succulent snack. Ellen S. Lobbying for another Atlanta live show, Mr. Adams. James F. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls.

Get rid of them, turn to page 42. Keep them turn to page 69. Soft lose uncertain hand. Oreo. City name. Charlie Brown's best friend. Renee, the monster. Olivia, the enchanting bard and Jared the soap opera cleric who are prepping an epic playlist for the final battle.

Blue Ash, Fico, J, K, Guard, the fairies are free from their caroling chains and are now on a spring break pounding butt heavies with the band of boobs. That sounds nice. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi H. M.J. the BF.G. No drug the pass-off fist barbarian. Goose Toes. John Luca. Hannah Ross 3.

Leon Komori, legendary hero of a Bohumia from a future campaign. Shananagans O'Connor. Joshua S. Lins W. Sky the Wise. The Spudfucker himself Johnny Dudeke. The mischief of Nat Potts Familiar's. Pavu Escanar, the Goliath Paladin, providing service with a smile. Jake Wellmer.

Tim M. Dragon Knight 86. Richard. Scrungle the main event. T.R. John M. M. L. G. Cheeto. Schell B. Kenna's first favorite Sprite girl. You girl got the job. Who needed to be worried about an early 30s career change anyway? Jet S. Snailess, the Eldridge Snail. Smoke a blunty finster. Stormy 52. Me-Maw Sky Days. Fuck you, I love you, eat a rat. Megan N. Anthony B. Balnor's best friend, Steve. Stephanie of House Sunza.

Sacrificial otaku bringing otaku culture to a fantasy realm near you. Mickle A. S-tier, Crickwater, enjoyer. Josh Hull, pilot of the nightmare verse flight. Ethan, the mailman. Maple, the shy, bookworm. Nick, AJ, Ashasaurus.

Seth the Stroker, bearer of all hog-related burdens. Billy Batson. Tori the tungsten dragoose, warily watching the warehouse of wily wild-water wardens. Michael Lyle asked the second, Carl B. Plummer of the Realm. Ace Dreg's High Lord of Critsburg. Vind diagram.

D. M. Charby. Cadamilius the Consumed. Cam, the Froglete's man. Dean. Jake W. Hi, Mom. Tuesday, Cross, only here for the surf and mirth. We love you, ride Jesus. Smores. Tyler M. God. Zibba da Bakery. Lakea lobster. Kaylee. C. Caterina C. Lance. Carly C. Olaf dies in Frozen, too. Rufus. Casey J. Pawpaw's Litigation Associate. it. Greg W., when I needed to let my barbarian just enjoy partying, I pulled from Jake's party time antics. Thank you all for the inspiration.

Baruch, Thunderhelm, 5th generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Jupagreb. Capi B of the Schooner, Louis R. French, Richard E. Jen's left glove tailor. Boney is dead. The Waterworth, your four-legged Greg companion. Nick, the raging ranger, Echo Ashmore, Aiden, D&D Court's lowliest intern, Magis Kunari only knows Fireball and Yeager Bomb, Chef Julie B, Mama Mayhem, Jen rules kinda, Tomass C, Little Dark Lotus Creations, Kendra A. Miller, James the Polymorphed Boot, Joshua H, Jacob M, Lou H, Ajai D, Ben V, Prince,

Slagathall the third Shinka Kinsune or Skyler the only male Kitsune in Bohumia Lainey Stoop Christopher K toxic ghost Daniel M

Chris A is super stoked to see you all at Radio City We are also stoked Angie H Melissa A And finally Without Porpoise spelled like the dolphin

Beautiful to end on Thank you all so much for supporting us We love you Mwah, Mwha, Mw. Goodbye, my sweetest of sweeties. That was a Headgum podcast.