Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 3: Crack the Safe

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

The Kill Screens attempt to secure Petunia's fingerprint and access the Mothership safe! Slug demonstrates a firm handshake, Atom secures a sweet prize, and Aux plays the keyboard. Support us... at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford."The Prototype" by Emily Axford."Atom" by Emily Axford."Implicated" by Emily Axford."The Gambling District" by Emily Axford."Mothership Lobby" by Emily Axford."Galavanting" by Emily Axford."The Inkling Syndicate" by Emily Axford."Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford."Slug" by Emily Axford."Paetina" by Emily Axford."Corrupted" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahamia, everybody. Bahamia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Oh, fuck, we're doing rhymes, aren't we? Are you serious, dude?
Starting point is 00:00:29 Yeah, we are. And I have one. Good. Feeling hot with my robot, Oxo-Kana. Okay. Pretty good. And then of course, Emily Axford. I got Lats, Ebs, Cavs, and Class.
Starting point is 00:00:45 I'm Slugs, Slavdash. Sure. Wow, is that your interview for, like, a reality TV show? Yeah, that's me on Love Island. But I think it's a fighting competition. You got kicked off so quick. And then, of course, we've got Caldell Tanner. Trying to score at the M&M store.
Starting point is 00:01:04 It's Adam Rom. Oh, yeah. That's good. And with that, let's do. go ahead and do a little recap. Yes. So last time, you prepped for the heist by doing some digging into mothership.
Starting point is 00:01:16 You discovered that Petunia Glenn bottle has a bodyguard called The Prototype, a terrifying cyborg with the body of an elite mothership enforcer. And we're going to stop him with love. No comments. You also learned... I didn't say it, but I do have a cab
Starting point is 00:01:30 rainbow on my chest. Oh, okay. Perfect. So I'll stop him with love. It's a power of friendship. I think the care bear stare, like, those beams, like, were lasers. They hurt people. I do think they get you.
Starting point is 00:01:44 I'm going to hurt them. Oh, good. Okay, yeah, yeah, just making sure. You also learned that Petunia has a fuck-up brother named Corky Glenn Bottle and saw evidence that he was hanging out with some gang members from Zones 3 and 4. OX crafted some fake invitations and you made your way to the party, keeping in touch with Specter along the way. However, when you got to the door, you decided to spend a long time talking to the the armed guards and tried to steal one of their key cards.
Starting point is 00:02:11 The right amount of time. That was funny. Now that was funny. Now that was funny. You know how when you're going to TSA, you just like keep talking to the dudes? I love making friends. Saying suspicious shit. This led to OX being restrained and Adam having to talk the mothership knights down from
Starting point is 00:02:29 killing him after rolling an excellent deception show. The knights chocked their actions up to a gang feud and kicked them both out without further incident. I have a trusting face. Yeah. After you really don't have a face. After eating her own tooth to try to intimidate the guards to let her thief friends in, Slug finally entered the party.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Once inside, she noticed a lot of prominent members of the other crews among the guests, including Thin' Gymm of the South Avenue Jimmy's, young blunderbuss of Hammer and Circuits, and Spithrid from the jailbreakers. She managed to steal a key card off a drunk, overlooked employee named Iva, who revealed that Corky Glenn bottle was up on the fifth floor doing arcane with his buddies. Slug entered the stairwell and met you guys at a parking garage entrance, where Ox was able to disarm the door's alarm. You snuck up to the fifth floor and spied Corky and his friends doing arcane and coming up with business ideas.
Starting point is 00:03:31 The wolf pack. After putting the wolf pack to sleep and killing one who fled, You engaged one of the mothership enforcer bots that was guarding them. You managed to finish that one off after some back and forth action. But a second one that had been distracted by Ox's device, that was a fart slash like a strobe or something. No, it was two separate devices. Two separate devices. One was an alarm and one was a five.
Starting point is 00:03:57 An alarm and a five. That one is so pissed because it just smelled a fart. And it rolls in, guns ablazing. And that's where we are now. We're cutting right back into initiative. Adam finished the last machine. So the enforcer has rolled in. Halflings have failed their second save, so do not get another one.
Starting point is 00:04:19 They're knocked out for a minute. So Corky and his two living buddies are just crashed so hard. OX, that is your turn. All right. I see this thing. I'm going to charge at it. I'm just going to charge straight out of it. You've got some movement.
Starting point is 00:04:32 So go ahead to make a charge as part of your attack. Okay. Yeah, you see this gun comes out of its chest. It starts whirring, but you get there first. All right. I pull out my mall, which is basically like, it looks like a wrench with a meat cleaver at the end. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:47 That's a Nat 1. Oh! So I lose my footing, but I do get a second attack. Sick, yeah. You start to trip a little bit, bang off this thing's metal carapace. That's a 21. That hits. There you go.
Starting point is 00:04:59 All right. Oh, no, he tripped on the M&M. Nine damage. Nine damage. Okay. You break off a few gears on this big machine. It is actually going to use a reaction. As it gets hit, you feel like a jolt go through you.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. I'm pretty smart. I think when you hit him, they try to outsmart you. Oh, no, he's solving a puzzle. My brain. I hate a Suroku. Fight me like a man. What's this a fucking wordle?
Starting point is 00:05:33 16. 16, you pass. You see that it is a wordle. words are all really simple. I'm going to use my bonus action, and I'm going to command Rover. Rova, do something to this bot. Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Starting point is 00:05:48 So now Rover can make an attack. Sick, great. Rover comes forward. You see little prongs come out, start shocking them. What did he say, Adam? He said that he did not know how to do the wordal either. Rover got a 21. He guessed that the answer was salad,
Starting point is 00:06:03 but it clearly was not salad because there was only four letters. robert did eight damage Big, okay This thing still pretty hardy The enforcer gets ready to make its attack But before it does, Slug, that's your turn Okay, I am bloodied Which means, because of my
Starting point is 00:06:19 Purple Dragon Commandment feet, I get advantage on attacks. Sweet, Slug, as you are injured, you feel some of your tech, some of your augmentation start to take over and you start to be able to see things on like a granular level. I think I have like a
Starting point is 00:06:35 cybernetic failsafe that kicks in, like, just like zaps me at the base of my spine. Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to rush up flanking next to my buddy ox, and... Hey. That is on... I fucking crit twice with it. Holy shit. This is insane.
Starting point is 00:06:53 That's insane. These are a different dye that I used last time also, but that's only one attack. Yeah, I'll say like literally as you come online with your, um, augmentations because you're bloodied, like a jolt goes through you that electrocutes this machine coming through your chain. Yeah, it takes of your own medicine, eh? It's always her own medicine. She makes it herself.
Starting point is 00:07:14 26 damage on a first attack, and give me a con save, or you're going to fall prone. Ooh. That is an eight. This thing just tilt. This thing is, like, so top-heavy and powerful, but you see at its base has, like, little treads and just goes, oh!
Starting point is 00:07:31 Looking like a gumball machine. Boom. I'm going to keep attacking. 26 to hit. 26 hits. 16 more damage. And because I quit that first time, I get a bonus action extra attack. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:07:46 So you see Slug is just jumping on top of this thing, pulling it apart. 19 to hit. 19 hits. Show him the kill screen. 13 damage. 13 damage. Okay, this thing is smoking, not in a fun way, but in a way where the machine is breaking. But I'm smoking.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Cogs are just flying. I actually don't smoke. I just do steroids. So that is back to the enforcers' turn. This thing is going to have its movement to very laboriously get up from prone. You see that it has like chair legs that appear behind its butt that like push it back up from prone position. And you hear beeping like a forklift backing up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:29 So first thing it's going to do is going to do a plasma black. You see its chest had opened with a plasma cannon that popped out. It throws like a grenade into the middle of the room. Big explosion. Go ahead and give me deck saving throws. Guys, it showed us its chest. Do you think it's into us? Dirty 20.
Starting point is 00:08:48 22. 13. Everyone passes. Ooh, nice. So you just take half. You guys take six damage total. That's already halved. Then it is going to take two slam attacks on our girl's slug.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Okay. That's actually smart. because of my maddening fumes, it would have had disadvantage on anyone else. Rolls a three and a one, misses on both attacks. Nice. End of the round. That is back up to Adam. All right.
Starting point is 00:09:12 I think I am just going to use my bonus action to reload my shotgun and I'll pump him twice again. Sweet. Blast them with sort of like a Mega Man arm. Pump them. 20 hits? Yep. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:26 That is one normal hit and one crit. Wow. Okay. Because I have critical shot and I crit on 19. in 20 as well. Sick. Join me. Sweet, go ahead and roll your damage.
Starting point is 00:09:37 29 damage. Adam, finish this in force. Yes, dude. I take a look at his exposed chest and I point my shotgun right into the place where his nipples would be and give him nipples. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:09:49 You blow through the same's chest. You know, nip that in the butt. Explodes, screws and cogs in all directions. Except for the two screws which become his nipples. Except for the two nipples that lands. on the floor of the conference room here. They're so pert.
Starting point is 00:10:04 You see somehow the halflings have not woken up. They're still just like so fucking pass the fuck out. Adam, what did you do? I got to ask you to do that to me sometime. I'd love to sleep like that. They are starting to stir, though. Okay. Do we want to try to chain them up?
Starting point is 00:10:21 Yeah, we should tie them up, right? Okay, I will put chains on them. Great. You take some time. You tie them up, and then is there anything you'd like to do before they wake up? Oh, the arcane. Yeah. Let's scoop out of this.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Let's put all this on this on a long. Yeah. Specter goes near your earpiece. Anything else you guys might want from the knocked out brother of the mayor? Oh, Akika! Yeah. Sorry, Spector, we got distracted by drugs. Oh, we should see it.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Don't respect that we got all the drugs. No, that's good. That's great. Hang on to the drugs. Bring them back. Okay, but let's also see if he has car keys and we can use it as a getaway car. Oh. Adam, you brilliant.
Starting point is 00:11:00 What is he? drive. Oh, unless it's a cyber truck. I heard that someone's shit in the cyber truck. You start, go ahead and give me, um, investigation checks. I should give someone the help action, but I want to do it just for fun. I'm not 15. I got 15, too.
Starting point is 00:11:19 I got a 23. Great. Okay. You guys go through these guys' pockets and see that the three of them have key fob things for motorcycles, it looks like. Oh, they got bikes. And you hear Spector in your ear go, I can get those ready for a getaway.
Starting point is 00:11:38 If you essentially send me the info, I can hack into them and have them drive up to the front. Awesome. I scan the bot code or whatever's up on there. You essentially upload it to Specter, and Spector will get the Wolfpack's bikes ready to go. Make sure you keep the helmets with them. Oh, wait, I'm already wearing a goalie helmet.
Starting point is 00:11:57 I'm good. My entire body is a helmet. Sweet. What do you guys want to do with these halflings? Are you just going to, like, throw them in a closet or something like that? They're about to wake up. They can't see our faces. They're going to have a hard time getting out of it.
Starting point is 00:12:12 You guys put them in a service closet. I'm going to put water on their pants so it looks like they pissed themselves. So nobody believes them. What about the guy you felled? He has exploded. Rants. Rants. Hey, hey, wake up, pal.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Hey, buddy. Ground beef. And like char marks on the floor. Okay, I'm trying to think if there's a way that we can make it look like Rans did this. I've cleaned up worse at the arcade. I will try to scrub it off. Can you jack into the pieces of these security bots
Starting point is 00:12:43 and like implant the memory of Rats doing this and then having to take out RAS? Could I use encode thoughts? I do have that can't trip. Yeah, I'm great. Are you putting code thoughts into like you find essentially what would be like the, the enforcers like black box.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Yeah. And I like pull a little chip out of my head and pop it into the enforcers' memory to see if I can like implant a false security. I will also say you guys have the ability, you guys have one extra slot in your augments. If there's anything that the enforcers did that you guys like. Oh, that holy shit. The plasma blast. Cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about that thing that makes, uh, anytime anyone hits you with a melee, they get shocked? Oh, yeah. I want that. You can do that. What about the capture sphere? Yeah, sweet. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Awesome. You guys take some time and I'm going to say you're going to need like a true short rest. Basically in this campaign we're going to have it be so you guys, you guys can all do trances as if you're like elves. So it takes you like a few hours to get a long rest. A short rest you guys can take now if you want to just like expend hit dice. We'll say it'll take a long rest though for you guys to like put these things in your bodies. Oh, okay. To like calibrate.
Starting point is 00:13:56 You can't use them right now. Gotcha. So go ahead and heal up your hit dice. Okay. I'm actually still at full because I had 10b HP. So I will, I'll use my mending can trip to try and clean the hallway. You guys take a little time. You guys take, I'll say like 10 minutes to take a short rest.
Starting point is 00:14:12 You guys with your augmentations are able to like rest up pretty fast. But you do hear Spectre in your ear piece go. Petunia's just taking the stage. If you guys want to get downstairs, you might be able to get a hand. Get that glove on. Okay, yeah, yeah. I put the glove on. I checked to make sure my puff paint dress is not gotten askew.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Yeah. I was thinking that we could maybe even go as ourselves. We could maybe say to Petunia, hey, we thought it would be like a good way to reach out to the community if you sponsored a youth team. Oh, Elveta pitch. Pewee CyberSkitch. And we're acting like, oh, why don't you sponsor?
Starting point is 00:14:55 our team. Yeah. And that's why we're here. That's great. Unless someone had another reason. No. That seems like a very promising angle. Wholesome?
Starting point is 00:15:03 Yeah. It's wholesome. It's like, it's us extending an olive branch. Yeah. And they like CyberSkitch, right? Because they rob the pot. Well, I think, no, they don't like the underground cyber skisk, but this is Pewee Cyber Skitch.
Starting point is 00:15:16 This would be a way to legitimize Cyber Skitch. Shit, now I just wanted to happen. Adam, careful. You're encoding thoughts in my. yet now. It's called manifesting. Okay, okay. Slug is very confused now about what her directive is.
Starting point is 00:15:35 So we wait, we wait like side stage and we say, hey, great speech, and you shake a hand. Should we find a child to bring and present? I think a child wouldn't be invited to an event like this. Okay, fair. There's arcane, there's drinking. Yeah, let's just not do that. Okay, well. Specta.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Specta. Do you have any concerns about my plant? I think any reason you could get to speak to her, you're not going to be the only person speaking to her. There's going to be a crowd. I know that for sure, but I'm thinking, like, at first I was like, oh, they can't see our face because we don't want them to know we were here, but then there's so many other gangs who are here. I think that, yes, you can just show one of the pictures of you as the coach. Which one?
Starting point is 00:16:15 I have a phone background. That's me and the kids. Oh, look at them. They're so adorable. It changes by the hour. That was the one where we made them put away their knives. You did. I thought I'm out to take them out.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I had to clean a lot of blood off the floor. Okay. Okay. So that's an angle. That's an angle. Yes. Yeah. And the most important thing is that handshake.
Starting point is 00:16:37 That handshake. Right. First and foremost. But I think that's, that's supposed, I'm technically coming to the U.S. kind of a philanthropist. Yeah. And she's got to be used to that. You got to shake a hand. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Shaking hands. Okay. That's a big part of a job. Let's go down there. Sweet. All right. Okay. You walk down the stairs to the first floor and see that the mood lighting,
Starting point is 00:16:55 has come up a bit. Back in the dancing area, there's a stage, and the DJ has stepped away to make room for Petunia Glenn bottle. She's a halfling woman in a blazer with huge shoulder pads. Her hair is stacks of tightly packed buns that seem to pull at her face. Everything about her is extremely tightly wound. She smiles, but there's this forced quality to it, and people are cheering.
Starting point is 00:17:23 She's already come out, and she's beginning her speech. She goes, thank you, my friends, employees, and donors, for making this the best year in Galateron's history. You hear, cheers throughout the crowd. Hooray for the mayor. 30 more years. 30 more years.
Starting point is 00:17:43 30 more years. Is this a mortgage? What's going on? I'm like trying to play along, but it hurts. Did you guys vote for her? This has been one of the worst years in Galatoron. history as far as I'm concerned. She continues.
Starting point is 00:17:58 There is still more work to be done. When we first came to Zone 6, it was decaying. Now it shines. Mothership stores on every corner. Affordable apartment pods. And our synthetic soldiers patrolling the streets,
Starting point is 00:18:15 keeping our executives and investors safe from the people who used to live here. Last year, we made Zone 6 a utopia. This year, every zone. on that, everyone cheers. Array for the plan. Hazzar.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Hazzar. She continues. When my grandmother created mothership, she had a dream. Powerful, dangerous, tech, with no checks and balances. Today we are living that dream. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:18:42 You see, she steps down from the podium. Everyone is cheering. You see a bunch of people flock to the front. Slug, slug, we got to get up there. Okay, okay, okay. You guys all go up there. You see one fan gets a little overzealous and tries to jump a barricade to give her a hug. You see out of nowhere with superhuman reflexes, the prototype.
Starting point is 00:19:05 This machine man with scarred, bald head with wires like growing out of his face, appears in front of her, grabs the guy by the head and throws him through the floor. Just spikes him, the guy is gone. Oh, wow. Okay. And you see there's like a little bit of like an awkward moment and she, laughs and goes, ha ha,
Starting point is 00:19:26 one at a time, everyone, one at a time. All right, no hugs, handshakes. Yeah, handshakes.
Starting point is 00:19:30 So I'm putting on the glove. I want to, and hear me out, I would like to go into a rage, but only to activate my monstrosity compound, because it gives me an extra five feet of reach. So I'm not,
Starting point is 00:19:45 okay. So I'm not going to, I'm not going to activate any compound. Okay. The serum that gives me the, that makes me large. and have a plus five reach. That's so cool.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Sweet. Okay, so I'll say, yeah, you go up. There's this, like, barricade. You can tell she doesn't want to be, like, amongst the masses, even the, like, high-paid masses. So she's going through. She's just, like, shaking people's hands, like, really sternly. And there's a lot of people like,
Starting point is 00:20:15 Petunia, I had a great business idea. Oh, we've got a lot of stuff going on in Zone 2 that you really need to hear about. Okay. I think Slug is looking at this, and I think that, Maybe if she's asking less, there's more of a chance she gets a handshake. So she's just going to say, big fan! And reach out her long ass arm. Sweet. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I'll say, go ahead and give me, with that, you can do a performance check because you're kind of just trying to bring attention to yourself. So she spots you and gives you a handshake more so than you're trying to trick her or something. Okay, okay. 24. 24. 24. 19 on the side.
Starting point is 00:20:53 There you go. Basically a crit if it was an attack. She's like smiling, listen to some guy who's like kind of holding onto her hand and trying to give her a spiel on his business and you see the prototype. Hey buddy, read the room. Now's not the time.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Some of us just want to shake hands with our hero. You see she gives a little nod and pulls away from this guy, goes over to you and gives you a handshake. I'm doing it and I say don't want to take up much of your time, just want to tell you, I believe in Neo-Galater on as much as you do. She gives you, like, a tight smile.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Great. Go ahead and give me a deception check. But I do believe in Neo-Galater on as much as she does. We just have really different visions. Okay. You can do a persuasion check, then. She's going to try to read into you. Essentially seeing if she, like, senses the tech, like, senses what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Okay, got it. So she's going to roll with disadvantage. I only got a seven. Okay. Shout out to the two crew. Oh, my God. She gets a six. So you just pass.
Starting point is 00:22:01 You see, the glove starts to slide a little bit. And she pulls back just because she thinks you're kind of gross. So she's like, oh, thank you so much. Oh, sorry. I was trying to keep my joys away from someone like you. Joims, right. Okay. Good.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Thank you for your vote. It's so nice to meet you. Yeah, okay. All right. She goes to the next person. And then I, like, walk away, and I have to be so careful not to touch anything else with my glove. I walk away. That thing is fragile.
Starting point is 00:22:31 A zip lock. Wait, what you have? What you have a bag to put this in? Here, I put it in my butt. I open a little compartment in my ass. I put my hand in Adam's ass. Adam's sticks the glove up his ass. By my hand at Adam's ass, I close the compartment so that it, so that the, like, compartment itself takes the glove off for me.
Starting point is 00:22:49 You hear a little, like, pss, as it hermetically seals. Hey, all right, I think we're good here. We did it. Yeah. All right. So we got to get to the 13th floor. The 13th floor. Do we want to beat feet right there?
Starting point is 00:23:02 Or do we want to try to eavesdrop on any of these conversations? Oh, yeah. Because we've got some of our competitors here. Some of the young. Let me see perception checks. 16. 13. 22.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Okay. You actually don't see any of the rival gangs here anymore. Oh. No. You think they might have. rolled up, partaken in the open bar, and left. They're just here to party. Unless they're also going for the safe via other means.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Also possible. You also see Patina is working her way through people as fast as she can. Okay. Oh, this party's disbanding. All right, all right. So we got a key guide. We got a fingerprint. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Okay. Let's do it. Sweet. You guys, if you'd like, you know that the lower floors don't have security. You could go up through there and then take the elevator up to the 13th floor rather than fighting everybody on the way up. Yeah. Can I put a sign on the elevator after we get in that says out of order? Ooh, I like that.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Okay. I'll use my painting kit. Okay, sick. Go ahead and give me a deception check. Okay. Nat 20. Oh, my God. The cord stopped it.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I mean, you could even kind of sabotage it. So I'll say you guys go back up to the fifth floor, which you guys, you guys, had been on, which it looked like Corky had kind of cleaned out the security there so he could do drugs. So that means there's no nights at the elevator. You take it, you get into this basically like a big pneumatic tube, glass tube that looks up through all of the different floors. Are you guys doing anything to obscure yourselves because it is like a clear elevator, so you will be going through the different floors. Oh.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Oh, and there might be, and there's video. It's not even that there's video. It's, there will be security on the other floors potentially. So I am currently wearing, I believe I said I'm wearing a silver skull mask that covers everything but my mouth. Okay. So you guys just want to look like party doors taking the elevator? I have silent image.
Starting point is 00:25:09 I could just like make it look like we're three employees or like invisible. I don't know if I can make it as invisible. Can't make you invisible. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll just make us look like three boring. employees.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Great. Oh, or we saw those EnforciBots, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cool. Enforcerbot, the wolf pack, whatever you guys want. Okay. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Maybe we, oh, but we didn't make me look like the rants, that guy I murdered. Great. Oh, make me also look like Ray. Okay. I think you look like rancers. Without a head. We're just two rancers with an enforcer. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Two identical half wings. Don't make me look like rants right now. I look like dead rants. Two rancas. What are the chances? No, makes me look like old rants. I figure rid of my. I make you look like an H-
Starting point is 00:25:47 old rants. I have to get rid of my rage just to get small enough to fit into the silent image. Yeah, I think that actually, know, maybe I'll make you an enforcement, I'll make the, I'll make us look like two of the halflings. I just would really like to be rants. Okay, do you guys want to roll to see who gets to be rants?
Starting point is 00:26:04 Did you guys think Rance was really cool, like, that he ran and then was like grown up? I mean, he's the only one that didn't fall asleep. He's pretty strong. Fair. Spector gives up. Specta? Specta, over and out. Specta?
Starting point is 00:26:17 Just a buzz. He ran for it. That's why his name is rants. He rants for it, yeah. So you use that spell, and you guys have a cover as you go up through all of the different floors until you finally get to the 13th floor. The elevator dings and the tube slides open. Go ahead and give me perception checks as you walk out into this next hallway.
Starting point is 00:26:43 15. 12. 19. Nice. You guys get out. You guys immediately kind of like hide around the corner. You see a few offices up here. Again, they're kind of like glass cubicles, essentially, like you can see inside. Computers that just have like their background screensavers on.
Starting point is 00:27:01 But you see one door to an office that you cannot see inside. Thick oak door guarded by two elite mothership knights. They have red armor on and look a great deal bigger than the night. you've seen. These guys are like highly genetically modified. Do I see any desk chotchkis that would make a good prize for the prize counter? You can say no. Yeah, you do. You see that there is one of those little bird things that dips down into the water. Oh, yeah. But this one actually has a little bit of like suction. So the duck actually drinks the
Starting point is 00:27:39 freaking water. It actually drinks it. That's amazing. That's really cool. This thing can go for like 400 tokens. Sweet. So you swipe a little. little duck thing. You see that these two nights are not fucking around. They are standing there in this hallway, not speaking to each other, just staring forward. The only thing I'm wondering,
Starting point is 00:27:59 I mean, I'm kind of like maybe we just fight them straight out. I think we gotta. But my only curiosity is, are they gonna just immediately call backup? Is there a way we can scramble the comms? Oh, yeah. I can hack into their calm system, but I don't think I can
Starting point is 00:28:14 scramble it. Okay. I don't think the fart ball is going to work this time. Yeah, I'm not talking about doing that. I want to fight them. I just want to decrease the chance. You guys would with just like a tech arcana check, be able to do things like Scramble Coms. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I couldn't like things like, you know, taking out every single alarm in the entire building, you guys can't do and Specter can't do. But you can do like localized stuff, certainly. Like I'll say Ox even has the equipment on him. Hell yeah. All right, yeah. Okay. So I can kneel down right here and just scramble their
Starting point is 00:28:51 radios. I pop a keyboard out of my chest. What do you use? Oh, all right. It's a piano keyboard. Wrong keyboard. He knows how to you're not doing karaoke. I'll figure this out. Sorry. Not yet at least. I'm going to go ahead. I'll do 8 plus a D6 is going to be the DC
Starting point is 00:29:09 to see how well the comms are working up here, so I'll roll in front of the table. It'll be 8 plus whatever this is. Okay. Three, that is a DC-11. And if you fail this, they are going to notice that they're being hacked. So we'll roll initiative. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:26 I'm going to put one finger in my ear, and I'll play the keyboard. Cool. And see if I can scramble this. It's only a 10. Okay. So close. We try. DC was 11.
Starting point is 00:29:39 You start to, like, hear in on the security channel of people talking about just like, Floor five all clear, or not floor five. Four five is not all clear. I hear like the one floor six clear, like just going through the different like security checks and things like that. And then you hear interference coming in and you see these guys touch their helmets up at their ear and then start walking out to investigate. Everybody roll initiative. We made. You played Mary Had a Little Lamb.
Starting point is 00:30:08 14. Oh, well, that's in that one, but I get to roll with advantage. 13 for me. Not much better. That's going to be an eight for me. I wonder if we like duck behind something and then they come and we kind of take some range and then obviously we're going to have to scuffle melee. Yeah. Shoot them from far before we run in.
Starting point is 00:30:28 And then maybe we could even scooch past them, get into that and then close the door. Oh, we can scooch. So let's try to maybe fall back, get them to come to us, do some range stuff and then try to get shooting scooch. Sometimes you scooch, sometimes you skitch. This is a scooching time. All right. You know what? I'm now regretting.
Starting point is 00:30:45 It would have been more strategic for them to only send one guy, but I said that two guys were going. These guys, despite not talking, it seems like they really have a bond and are sticking together. They're a bonded pair. Yeah. So you see they have their hands on their hilts of their electroblades and start walking down the hallway. But first to act is slug. Right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:06 We're ranged, right? Yeah. I will say, so they are third in the initiative. Ox could potentially take another turn to jam their comms before they go. It'll be an action. Then I will, I'm going to bonus action to go into a rage, but I'm going to hold an action to attack. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:31:26 And then that takes us to Ox. OX, we will keep the DC the same, DC 11. Okay. Wait, wait, I think I got it. That's a 22. Okay, yes. You're able to completely jam their comms. In your earpiece, you hear the feedback.
Starting point is 00:31:42 on the security channel and then it goes out as you cut it. You see these guys both look up concerned as they start running around the corner and slug, you are ready for them. Yes. Okay. So I want to try to draw them deeper. Okay. So that we can hopefully maybe use some speed to get around them if things get tough.
Starting point is 00:32:02 So I'm going to run out of hiding and then run back down the hall and I'm just going to shoot him with a haunting rifle. Okay. You back up. You see these guys both look up, go to pull their electro swords. Intruder, set for kill. And then I'm going to shoot them twice with a hunting rifle. Yeah, you pull out this little, at first it looks like a little gun. You see it builds itself. Oh, yeah. Does 17 hit? 17 does not hit. Okay. You see terrifyingly blocks it with the Electroblade, lightsaber style. Does 23 hit? 23 does hit. Okay. Does not get it around on the same. second try. 12 damage, 12 piercing, and then I'm going to drop the hunting rifle in a dramatic fashion and then square up to say, come at me. Okay. Hell yeah. All right. That is the knight's turns.
Starting point is 00:32:56 I'll say Adam and Ox give me stealth checks. Otherwise, they might just think it's slug here. 13. 22. Okay. I look like a desktop computer. They do clock ox. Yeah. So you see one goes, executing jet dash maneuver. And you see his feet look like they explode. You don't have to say everything you're doing.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Jet dash maneuver. Yeah, okay. And I'm standing here. His feet burst with like jet power as he flies using his full speed at slug and is going to make his first attack. If he hits with this, he might knock you prone. Natural one. Rams into the fucking wall.
Starting point is 00:33:38 But then it is going to take two more. Electroblade attack. So pulls out this red sword and begins swinging down on you, 18 and a 26. Both hit. Okay. That is a total of 25 damage. Oh, what type of damage? Slashing damage. Okay. That is halved then. Okay. And I can use one of my fighta things, reaction to take off D10. Oh, nice. Oh, and I rolled a nine. So that is 12 less. Oh, sick. Okay. It was 12. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:11 So you got rid of all of them. Whoa. Okay, sweet. So I'll say that Ox has like little devices that he like puts on his friends and it straight up like starts stitching your wounds right there. There's like a little like spider device. Like a friendly spider? That's not that hoping it would be. All of my little bots.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Engage anti-spiter technology. Takes out a little thing of raid and begin spraying it with his gauntlet. This other guy is going to use his jet dash to rocket at ox. So because he's in my maddening fumes, My maddening fumes is 30 feet, and ox is still in my, is within that range. They have enough movement to still get to him, even with half. No, no, no. He has disadvantage on attacks against anyone other than me.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Oh. Sick. Whoa. Anyone who starts their turn in my maddening fumes. Got you. Okay. So, yeah. So this fucking stinks in here.
Starting point is 00:35:03 That's my pheromones. So this guy will make attacks with disadvantage. Does a jet dash at ox. Lower one to hit is a 15. Misses. Okay, great. Takes two Electrosort attacks. Lower one is a 15 again.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Misses. And the lower one's a not one of this one. So beefs it big time, slices through, knocks down one of the walls to one of the cubicles here. Are you going to narrate that? Do not say that part out loud. Entering cubicle destroying formation. Activating dumbass attack.
Starting point is 00:35:35 That is... Acculating whiff. Good ones. slogs. We should both fight the same person, I think. They yell to each other. Engage, engage eating shit. Engage, same person. That is, uh... Engage embarrassment. Adam's turn. Okay. So Adam, with his stealth is disguised as a computer. Oh, yeah. You will, so, yeah, your stealth, so you will straight up get advantage, like, as if you're hidden. Yeah. Okay, so I will get my extra D6 of rogue attack here. I've confirmed there's only two, sir.
Starting point is 00:36:04 You don't have to call me, sir, or both equal. But I respect you, sir. Engaging equal two on two fight. Do you two train together? Yes. Ah, I fucking shit. Do you two live together? That's beautiful. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:17 All right. What's going on between you two? That's a better question for him. Oh, wow, drama. Stop, don't bring it up now. Disengaging drama. He disengaged from you. Disengage.
Starting point is 00:36:33 He certainly isn't engaging. I'm going to stand up and say, I think it's time you two broke up. And I'm going to pull out an assault rifle. Oh, my God. So the way the assault rifle works is I can fire four times. Okay. But the shots are with disadvantage. Okay, sick.
Starting point is 00:36:51 So it's like a big spray. Great. Okay. Okay. So let me just roll all these. All right. You're trying to hit an 18. Yay.
Starting point is 00:36:58 That's one hit. Okay, one hit. Second one misses. Okay. Third one misses. 19. Last one hits. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Nice. Okay. Two hits. Basically the same as using my regular weapon, but you got to try. I'll say you'll get the one that's going after ox. The other one's a little bit more obscured chasing slug down the hall. Yeah. So some of the spray just hits like a nearby cubicle wall or an office wall.
Starting point is 00:37:23 26 damage. Sick. Okay. After Adam, that is slug's turn. I'm going to attack regularly. Great. Okay. 16 misses.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Misses. Blocks with his electroblade. That's a 19. That's a crit. Whoa. 27 slashing damage. Okay, no joke. You see this dude is very hardy and very quick.
Starting point is 00:37:49 He uses an electro sword, blocks two of your hits, but you get under him with what weapon are you using right now? My hockey stick. Your hockey stick. So you just crack them in the race. Slashing, but it has topple. And give me a con safe. Pass.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Okay. Hops over your trip attack. Engaging anti-trip technology. You see another like chair legs? come out from behind his feet. After slug, that is ox's turn again. All right, I'm going to use my charging feet. Charged straight at the guy attacking me.
Starting point is 00:38:18 18 to hit. 18 hits. 18 hits. All right, great. Do you get down on old fours when you do that? I take a triple stance. Is that what it's called? Tri-pod stance?
Starting point is 00:38:27 I take the tripod stance and I go forward. Okay. And then I'm going to bonus action branding smite rip off my sawed off blunderbuss. Hell yeah. And try to shoot this guy in the neck. Sweet. Oh, that's a 28.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Nice. Both hits. 30 damage. Wow. Okay. This dude is looking hurt. These guys are pretty elite, though, and look like they have some pretty severe augmentation. So you see their body starts to kind of like regenerate as they're being hit, but they do look hurt.
Starting point is 00:38:57 I put my blunderbuss back behind me. I just back away a little slowly. Oh, okay. What are you engaging now? After Ox's turn, that is the knight's turns. So the one is going to, First things first, it's going to use one of its gadgets, opens up a bracer that shoots a flash grenade. I'm going to need a DC-14 con-saving throw from Slug.
Starting point is 00:39:22 I thought he was proposing. I don't get it. Okay, you are blinded until the start of your next turn, which means they have advantage on attacks. But I think you attacked recklessly anyway. I already did. I wasn't going to say it, though. flashes it, you're already just like have your eyes closed and are gritted as you just swing your stick. I think I put a blindfold on to fight.
Starting point is 00:39:45 When I reckless attack, it's I put a blindfold on to fight like a cool, like superhero. Great. Okay. So this guy takes three attacks. Just a 15 to hit. Misses, even with advantage. Second one hits. Third one.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Wow. 16 to 16 hit. It's not. 60 misses. One hit with advantage. That's it. Does 11 damage, though. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:04 And then the other one, we've got to get rid of it. into this fucking smell, is just going to round the corner and it's just going to shoot at you with his energy pistol. Just a little thought. Actually, first thing he's going to do is he's going to use a gadget. So bonus action, you see he clicks like a charge into his energy pistol to overcharge it. If this hits, it'll do an extra d8 of damage. But it's just on the first attack.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Rova is going to try to trip him, so we'll do it with this advantage. Okay, sick. So then I'll re-roll that. It's going to be flat because he has advantage. This time it'll be flat. So we'll roll flat. That is a three. So miss. So the overcharged shot, you see a bolt goes off and just destroys an office.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Good robot. Then it is going to take a second attack. 14. It is not going to do it. And then natural 20. Okay. Hits on the last one, 22 damage slug, piercing damage. Okay, half it.
Starting point is 00:41:05 So yeah. So misses really. really goofily and goes engaging serious mode and shoots her directly in the neck. Engaging half it mode. I'm not a halfling, but I can half it. I'm confused. Oh, she's got a half it. That is a great rant impression.
Starting point is 00:41:21 That is Adam's turn. She's just got to half it. Okay, I'm going to run up to where slug is so I can get within five feet of her. Okay. I'll kind of like pop, I'll try and like make it so that I'm like running and then I pop out from behind her back at the last minute so that I can get a sneak attack on this. Oh, sick. Okay, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Okay. So this is going to be, I'm going to use my finger gun on this one. I think it's for me. Fully loaded. Engage flank defenses quickly. Oh, you're telling us everything you're doing. Engaging wet willy. And I lick my finger with my coin slot and then I shove it into his ear and I'm going to fire at him.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Oh. Okay. Fuck. 15. But you know what? I will spend a risk point. Whoa. What the fuck is that?
Starting point is 00:42:02 Risk points. It took the Coldwell made up. I made up. 14 of them a day. Whoa! Yeah. And they recharge on a minute rest, which is the thing that I homebrewed. What is it actually does it?
Starting point is 00:42:14 So it is part of my Gunslinger kit. I have four of them a day that I can use. This, I'm going to do a grazing shot. On a miss, I can deal one wrist dice plus five damage. So this is going to hit instead. Cool. Let me see here. Wrist dice R.D.8s.
Starting point is 00:42:29 That is six damage. Oh, my ear! You grazed me! Yeah, you see, I like sneeze. at the last minute. They kind of graces off of him. Second attack, though, this is my finger gun. Fuck, is a 14.
Starting point is 00:42:43 So that one just misses. Okay. After Adam, that is back around to Slug. Okay. I'm still feeling reckless. Okay. I'm going after the guy right in front of me. Yep.
Starting point is 00:42:54 17's going to miss. Misses, blocks it. 19's going to hit, though? Yep. There we go. 21 slashing damage. Sweet. And then...
Starting point is 00:43:03 This dude's looking quite hurt at this point. Give me a con save. Ooh. 16. You try to get under his ankle, do a little slew foot trip. 18. That, okay, so he doesn't, he doesn't, he's not prone, but I'm looking at my compatriots. I'm thinking they all looking pretty healthy.
Starting point is 00:43:23 They could take a hit or two. So I'm going to bonus action dash towards the office. He is going to get an opportunity attack, but he will have disadvantage on it because of my speedy feet. Okay. So then it'll be flat because he has advantage because you're reckless. Yeah, okay. So it takes a swing at you as you run. Wait, no, we're guarding that.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Misses. Okay. So I'm just going to grab the glove from Adam's ass. Open your ass. And then bonus action dash with my adrenaline rush. And then use my movement to get all the way to the door and open it and go inside. Great. You open the door, you go inside.
Starting point is 00:44:04 You see a well-appointed, office. We'll catch up with you in a moment. But ox, that is your turn. Sick. Well, I just saw that guy try to get an opportunity attack on Slug, and I'm going to put my arm up. There's like a little power box on it. And I'm just going to start banging on it, pound, pound, and a firebolt shoots out. Yes. Oh, sick.
Starting point is 00:44:27 That is an 18. 18 hits. Yes. 17 damage. Ox finished this night. Awesome. Awesome. So I think I have this augmented, like, almost like a gearbox or like battery pack on my arm. And I aim it at them and nothing comes out. So I start like pounding, pounding, pounding.
Starting point is 00:44:46 And then a much bigger firebolt than I was ready for flies out engulfs it. And I like shoot backwards. That's like when the netty pots really go. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's not rocketed. Their relationship's up in flames. Yeah, you destroy one of them. The surviving one goes, wait, no, I'm ready to commit now.
Starting point is 00:45:04 You can commit in the afterlife. Rova, do something. Rover's going to take an attack on this guy as my bonus action. But it's only 14. Okay, he just kicks Rover. Hey. I would kick it if it was a real dog, too. You're a bad guy.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Oh, my God. Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean I'm a good guy. Whoa, that actually, that's good that out. Because I did start to feel for you. Adam looks at the camera and says, good point. That is his turn. You see, he's just going to take some attacks on ox here. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:45:41 So first thing he'll do is he just opens up a compartment. You see an exploding flash. Go ahead and give me a con-saving throw ox. Okay. 14. 14 just passes to us. So you blink and quickly get your bearings as he begins swinging down on you. But he doesn't make these with advantage.
Starting point is 00:45:59 And he might even make him with disadvantage because Rova's going to come over because he kicked them. Sick. Okay. First attack is disadvantage. That's just a 12 to hit, so misses. Swings as Rover hits into the back of his leg. Good robot. Takes a second attack.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Jesus, I'm rolling bad. That's a 13 to hit. Misses. Last one is a 24 to hit. 10 damage to you, Ox. Okay. Sweet. After that, that is Adam's turn.
Starting point is 00:46:23 All right. I am going to run back to where ox is. I will pick up Rover up because he had fallen over. And I'll say, good boy. Make sure that my drinks don't get too startled. And then since I'm within five feet of ox again, I'm going to get my rogue D6 as well, and I'm just going to unload with my shotgun at this remaining guard. Great.
Starting point is 00:46:46 All right, buddy. 22 and a 27. I think I, as I'm standing next to ox, I adjust my hand in to shotgun mode and say, need a hand. Nice. No, I need a gun. What? That's not a hand.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Engaging you fucked up mode 28 damage Finish this guard Yes dude I like stand right over where ox is With his firebolt And I like plug in with a tube So they're like augments the shotgun
Starting point is 00:47:21 So it is like a flaming blast of shotgun energy Here comes the upgrade Yeah you blow this guy to pieces Yeah and you see they have not been able to alert The rest of the security So as like The sizzle of these bodies fills the air. There is no other sound.
Starting point is 00:47:39 It is pretty quiet up here. And you see Slug. I cracked the door open. You've cracked the door open. How do NADPOLS? This is Caldwell here to take you on an ad venture. That's right, an advertising venture into the world of Factor. For those that don't know, Factor is a meal delivery service that provides fully prepared meals
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Starting point is 00:49:25 with three for three, spectra. That's okay. Yeah, really good. That's awesome. Okay, so we're here. So everyone get in. Everyone get in. Yeah, so you can. You guys run down the hall. A specter goes, great, yeah, all you have to do now is find the safe. Okay. All right. So you guys enter the room and you see a closed door behind you, unless you don't. You guys want to leave the door open or close it? Can I investigate the door? Sure. See, like, if it has like locking mechanisms or like an auto lock or something like that. Yeah, go ahead. It's a natural one? Okay. 15. On a 15, you look up and you do see that there are like, it looks like there might be like multiple.
Starting point is 00:50:03 layers to this door, like there could be like a barrier type thing that could come down or reinforce it. If the safe is opened. But we're opening it, we're opening it with the handshake. Yeah. Should we put like a little door stopper in the door?
Starting point is 00:50:18 Oh, I'll drag over one of these guys' bodies. Yeah, okay, that's good. All right, yeah. You guys put a body in the door. Okay. I'll put them both together. They should be together. I'm going to get like one of those little like caution wet floor signs and put it
Starting point is 00:50:30 next to the dead body. Great. Okay. So you put dead bodies in the, the doorway. Great. Okay, now we're looking around for a safe. Yeah, okay. So you guys see this well-appointed office, bookshelves
Starting point is 00:50:42 along the walls, a tasteful burgundy rug, large desk with a computer and a bunch of monitors, floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the city. You see the bright lights of Zone 6, the sort of mess of screens of the downtown area down there with ads and then throngs of people in the street.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Everybody give me perception checks. I get so distracted by Big Rick. 16. Just a nine. 17. Okay. With those perception checks, the thing that you see that's kind of out of place, you see on the bookshelf, there's mostly like mothership manuals and business books. But a few of them stand out.
Starting point is 00:51:19 These books are alone on their own shelf. From left to right, you see a book titled, You Can Have It All, How to Succeed in Motherhood, Grandmotherhood, and Business by Patina Glenn Bottle. It's got a picture of this older, tight grandma with her arms crossed, huge shoulder pad. Blazer. Looks like my belt. Next to it is a book titled, I Pushed My Mother Down the Stairs, How to Succeed As a Daughter in Business by Petunia Glenbottle. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:51:49 And finally, all the way to the right is a book that reads, How to Mother a Daughter, Who is More Like Her Grandmother than Her Mother and Do Okay in Business by Priscilla Glennbottle. And it's a woman with a book. smaller shoulder pads that looks middle-aged and a little bit sad crossing her arms. Wow. Something about how narrow her shoulders are. I just don't trust her.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Besides these books on the bookcase, the other thing that sticks out to you is this computer that you see on it has a little pad that looks like it unlocks with a fingerprint. Oh. Oh. Do you think that we could use the same glove on this as we do for the safe? Yeah. Do someone else want to take it because I'm good for a handshake but not really a computer? person. Okay. Yeah, I'll put it on. Cool. Yeah, you see, um, you take out this like disgusting human
Starting point is 00:52:37 skin glove, it looks like. But then as soon as it touches your hand, uh, it's, it changes and turns into a little fox paw. Or you, you have a hand. You're a fox humanoid. So, furry hand, and, uh, you are able to walk over and you go over to the pad and you touch it. Uh, and you see her monitor, uh, goes from black, uh, lights up and turns on. And, uh, turns on. And, tell me, I guess you can do like a tech-arcona check and tell me what you would be looking for. Well, we know that she's been talking to these other gangs. So maybe seeing if there's any communication between her and any of our rivals. Yeah, because if she's talking to anyone from our rival gangs,
Starting point is 00:53:22 we can also be sending that to the other gangs to make them mad at each other. Oh, we can make this so messy. Okay, sweet. Go ahead and give me a tech-arcana check. 22. Nice. Okay. I lean in way too close.
Starting point is 00:53:35 What's that right there? Ow, you knocked my ear. Okay, you start going through, and as far as stuff on the other gangs, it seems to be pretty like obfuscated. There's nothing that's directly mentioning the other gangs by name, except for the jailbreakers. You see that there have been like several unsuccessful attempts to hack them like on mass, essentially like sending bots or drones into their area to take over their minds. And those attempts were unsuccessful. But you see information about how these bots are serviced mostly by like R3.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Essentially their leader is the one who who can kind of protect them. He's almost like they're like anti-virus thing. Uh, and you see some mention of them pivoting to try to target R3 directly, as opposed to trying to go after the jailbreakers on mass. Oh. Do we see any collusion from any, uh, his underlings? Maybe spithreed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Uh, you don't see collusion from, uh, his underlings necessarily. You do see collusion. see that the attempt to hack R3, the details of that mission, it's not clear whether it worked or not. But there are no more follow-ups on how do we change the jailbreakers. He could be compromised all right. We might want to set up a meeting with him in the future, just see if he's same as ever. And Adam, you would know, because you're kind of old tech, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Somebody would have needed to have, like, gone up and placed, like, a bolt on him or something. It would have really needed to be, like, analog. R3 and I are both made from no mesh tech. It's older and harder to hack because it is less reliant on the network. Does that mean that we would see the point-to-entry on him or anything? Like, we could be like, oh, that wasn't there before. It's possible there could be some sort of restraining bolt or maybe even rudimentary as a welding torch burn or scars from an point. of entry.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Okay, okay. That's something to keep an eye off. We'll pay him a visit, yes. And the other thing you see, because a lot of the jailbreakers were old mothership tech, they're more brazen about talking about them because they're like, ah, we got to get our robots back. Like, we got to get everybody back online. They think they own them. They're less brazen about the other crews.
Starting point is 00:56:20 But you do see since around the time that Elmer died around like six months ago, there have been consistent payments to a group called the Underground Ironworks Coalition. Would we know, is that an alias for someone or a shell? You've never heard that company name ever. Okay, spec that. You ever heard of Underground Ironworks Coalition? I haven't. I can take a little time and try to dig into it.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Yeah, okay. For the future. Okay. All right. Before we abandon this computer, I wanted to look at one more thing. Her bank account. Oh, that'd be fun, right? And pretend like it's Oz.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Okay, no, but I want to see if there's any folders that are labeled to be something distinctly poisonous. Like wedding photos. There's something sentimental because I think people hide stuff in those. And this woman does not strike me as a sentimental sort. Yeah, you do see as personal as she gets. You see a folder that says Q4 goals. Oh, her hopes. Her hopes.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Okay. So actually, we are getting, I was thinking she would be hiding something important and something fake personal, but maybe this is, yeah, let's open that. You click it and you see pictures of the mothership website and, like, real estate listings for different areas of the city. Like, zone one, like you guys straight up see your own arcade has been, like, buffed up with AI to look like prettier. to be like a mothership fun zone? They airbrushed out all the beanbags.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Where the beanbags are gone. What are you doing with the beanbags? No, the beanbags are crucial. They turn half the arcade kits into a Bosch refrigerator. You couldn't nap in that? You couldn't nap in that at all. Oh, okay. If you get out the smell, you get out the personality.
Starting point is 00:58:19 The history. That's crazy. Okay, well, okay, well, we really got to get this stuff out of a safe. Yeah. Before we do, though, could we just look out the window? I want to see what she sees every morning. Okay. You look out the window and you see that this building literally lords over the rest of the city.
Starting point is 00:58:41 You look down and you see in your immediate area all of the ads from all the mothership products. You see Zone 5, which is not too far away, which is where Hammer and Circuits is. You see like glow from like the old mines where they have like lights up where they go and they mine for their like minerals for their different chips and stuff like that. You can see a little bit of zone four, which is where the Blackfire Carnival has taken over. It essentially gets dimmer the further away you get from mothership and you get the sense that she would have full view of the city if she could just get everything online. Just get everything on her, on her line. On a grid. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:26 What do you think we should do with the 10 million credits if we can get it? I mean, I think I want to get both home and away uniforms for the kids. Oh, wow, that's slick. Yeah. A couple different options in case they're going up against someone who uses the same colors. No helmets. Yeah. No helmets.
Starting point is 00:59:43 You guys do still need to find the safe, remember? Oh, yeah. Right. Right. We're thinking. We're just dreaming. We're having a business meeting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Yeah. So what do you want to do with the 10 million? What do I want to do with the 10 million credits? Get the fuck out of Neil Galatoron. No. Where do you want to go? We got to use it to stay. Where else is there? Esri, uh, Iron Deep. Wait, so you want to go to another city? I sure as hell do, yeah. I don't think that ever crossed my mind.
Starting point is 01:00:09 No, this is where we live. Okay, well. Yeah, that's fair. The robots in Esri are rude. They are kind of stuck up. Yeah. You're right. Okay, fuck Ezri. We're not going As we're saying mothership's got to go. All right. Let's check out this bookcase. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:24 You guys go over to the bookcase. The ones that stick out are Patina's book, Petunias, and Priscilla's book. I mean, let's just take them all out. Right. Yeah. Want to each take one? Yeah. I'm going to go for the one who pushed her mom down the stairs.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Cool. That is Petunia Glenn Bottle. So you take it out. And it is the best-selling non-fiction book by Petunia Glenn Bottle about how she scratched and clawed her way to get her grandma's business by pushing her mom down the stairs. I'll check out the pushed mom. I'll pull out the narrow-shouldered book. You see it's all about crafts and stuff that you can do to try to connect with your daughter who seems more into the cut-throat world of business than, you know, having a connection with you.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Tragic. Yeah. But you do see as you as you guys pull these three out, there are like little book ends there. It kind of look like candlelobbers or something like a one candle holder on each side. They seem like stuck in place holding these three books there. And you see that there are three grooves
Starting point is 01:01:31 for the books to be placed there specifically. Oh, to be placed in a specific order. Let's put it in the order first of like age ascending and then age just sits. Right, right. Grandma, my daughter. Okay, cool. you put it in order.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You do patina Glenn bottle first. Right. The grandma. The tight grandma has the mom, who is Priscilla Glenn bottle. You put that one in. And then finally, you put in Petunia Glenn Bottles confession slash business advice. Yeah. It's crazy that they didn't prosecute her on it.
Starting point is 01:02:06 What's the statute of limitations was up on it? It says parody right there. It's not if I did it. It's I did it. As you put the last book. book in, you hear a click, and the bookshelf pushes back into the wall and slides to the side, revealing a safe. Oh, we're in.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Thank God. Amazing. You know, I have to say, despite everything that she's done, Patina Glenn Bottles, she can get it. Patina? Yeah, I mean, also, I can half it all. I'm a barbarian. I can only half some of it. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 01:02:39 So I want to half at all, just like her. I think it's at half. No, I'm pretty sure it's at half. Really? I can see, I mean, it's pretty grainy. Expect the you're just on the radio. We got eyes on the-at-a-old. At-a-B-B-E-B-E-E, right? I can half it all.
Starting point is 01:02:52 I can half at all. Yeah. Half-it-all? The title of the book is half-it-all. Half-it-all, right. I think she's just really impressive physical specimen, and I'm trying to get on that level. Yeah, I mean, like I said, I'm looking kind of through, like, grainy footage here, so I can't. Yeah, it's too grainy.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Okay. Too grainy. Does anyone want to open the safe? Okay. Yeah. Ox. You press the lock. and there's a
Starting point is 01:03:16 sound as the door slides up and a little black velvet bass slides out and you don't see a brick of credits or any kind of bag of holding type purse or anything like that but what you do see is a small
Starting point is 01:03:40 like ring-sized box A big size box, okay. Crack it open. You crack it open. Oh, wait. You track it open. And you see inside is a single chip, like an augmentation, something that you can put in your body. I think we got to upload the credits.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Yeah. Do you want to give this a scan real quick to see what you can learn? Can I do an Akana check? Yeah, go ahead and give me a tech-Arcana check. I'll say that you have like a little device that can almost be like an identifier. That you like you pull out, you connect it. Okay. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:21 27. OX, you put this chip into your reader and you see that it is identified as the administrator chip. You look at this thing's code. It's kind of flashing quick. But with your technical know-how, you determine that its purpose is to override the commands of near-reaching. by tech and basically give administrative access to whoever is equipped with it. Like whoever has this chip equipped in their head. Oh man.
Starting point is 01:04:52 It's a malware. Yes, essentially. This would effectively give the user the power to psychically control all of the machines nearby, possibly all of the machines in the city. And even scarier, if the person were to die while the chip was in their head, it's possible that it would cause a mass shutdown of all of the machines. machines in the city, including, you know, Adam. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:05:17 And everyone's augments and everything like that, this would cause a lot of death. Additionally, there seems to be some kind of ability for it to create material and spread. Right off the bat, you see the wires on your device start to get thicker and extend. Almost like the wires are like vines of kudzu sprouting out. Yeah. And you think back to seeing. the prototype and the way he looked, he almost looked like there was like a machine like growing out of him. And you can imagine the reason he would be called the prototype is that they had not
Starting point is 01:05:54 gotten to like mass produce this thing yet. Okay, I'm going to put it in a Ziploc baggie so that it can't keep growing. I eject it and hand it over to Adam with like my hand shaking. Go ahead and give me an intelligence check to try to get it out of the device that you just put it in. Oh. 14. This thing's purpose is control. So you see that as you go to pull it out, you get an error message that you no longer have administrative access to your device here. Era.
Starting point is 01:06:28 I, I think it's on override of something. The device starts whirring and it gets very hot. Maybe the whole device needs to go into the Ziploc bag? Yes. Is this going to explode? I'm worried. I'm worried about... Actually, somebody who...
Starting point is 01:06:46 Maybe isn't made of metal should hold this. I'm worried about what it will do if it escapes containment. I can try it again. Should I try to take it out again? Yeah, try it again. And then everyone brace, because I think it's going to be... I think it could explode and the chip's going to be fine. Uh, 17.
Starting point is 01:07:00 Okay. With the 17, you are able to get it out. Oh. Oh, boy. And you put it in like a bag or something. No, we put it in like seven zip lock back. Yeah. We got in seven.
Starting point is 01:07:11 We don't want you getting hurt, and then this goes into you. Right. Yes. Okay. Let's see if we can find a lockbox or something in here. Sweet. Yeah. I'll say you guys have like little lockbox things on you guys.
Starting point is 01:07:23 Like you even would have brought stuff to get money, had there been money in here. And on that, you hear Spector, who has been kind of quiet, goes, I mean, the information that said that it had 10 million credits was maybe a week old. it's possible that it was that this is worth 10 million credits whatever this is how do we even unload something like this who would want it
Starting point is 01:07:49 who would want it mothership wants it no one good would want it though yeah it's not worth the money this is our city right yeah okay look we gotta get out of here no matter what we got decisions to make
Starting point is 01:08:01 but I don't think we make them in this room okay let's cheese my roller blades are itching as you say that suddenly there's a as an iron door comes down and cuts the bodies in half that you guys had placed there, comes down so powerfully. You see iron shades come down and block the glass. All of the power goes out in the room, and there's just a red security glow as the room goes into total lockdown.
Starting point is 01:08:31 And you hear Spector go, shit, she must have gotten pinged when the safe was unlocked. Her and the prototype are on the move. Oh, no, fuck. and that's where we'll end our session. God. No. Well, we got to take out the prototype too. We gotta get out of here.
Starting point is 01:08:43 We gotta get rid of all evidence of this thing. You can't. Yeah, I don't know that you can be the prototype right now. No, we don't stand a chance. We just gotta get out of here and not have no who did it.
Starting point is 01:08:52 Yeah, we gotta break down these walls. Sweet. So we shall talk about that more over on Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash an ad-d-odd-a-D-D-POD. Don't sing yet. Don't do it.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I'm gonna plug our friend, Hallie Cantor's new book. Oh, yeah. She just wrote a book called Like This But Funnier. It is available our booksellers across the nation. You can also get it online out here.
Starting point is 01:09:18 Yeah, on the web. On the world wide web. You can follow us on social media there. We may or may not use at CSN. I'm at Cautisgall at Axtrad Emily and at Jake Kerr, which is Jake. And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod. That's NADD-D-P-O-D. We are, we are.
Starting point is 01:09:32 The Youth of a Nation. We are, we are. Greetings. Lateronians, it is the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders. May they long hold the roof of our city up above them with their powerful arms and gracious heads. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later MacSater, Matt M. Cutter W. Olivia A. Daniel G. Daniel the dastardly dame. Carpeleum. DMC. Dog. Victor T. aka Balmores Boy
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Starting point is 01:12:28 Reverend Shatterbones, hacha, cha, cha, cha, cha. Han! Eric B., Marcos, Ph.D., eventually. learns the balanced druid. Frida M. Maggie. Holly. Ha ha, the green laughing hyena. Papa bambino in a de chinos. Russell H. Cody Care.
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Starting point is 01:13:05 To keep them, turn to page. Oh, 69! Soft-loose Uncertain Hand. Oreo. City name. Barpo Goodbarrel Bard Barbarian. Charlie Brown's best friend. Renee, the Monster Captain.
Starting point is 01:13:20 Olivia the Enchanting Bard and Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are prepping an epic playlist for the final battle. Blue Ash, Fico, Lucy F. J. Kegard, Alley. The fairies are free from their caroling chains and are now on spring break pounding bud heavies with a band of boobs. All is right in the world. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi H.
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Starting point is 01:16:53 The raging ranger echo Ashmore. Amanda Sampory, dungeon docent in training. Magus Kunari. Only knows Fireball. N. Yeagerbaum. You can do a lot worse. Chef Julie B. Mama Mayhem. 404 Aroric. Jin's
Starting point is 01:17:10 rules, kinder. Lewis L. Apollo L. Thomas C. Little Dark Lotus creations. Kendra M. James, the polymorph boot. Joshua H. Jacob M. Lou H. Bin V. Prince Slagathor the third.
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Starting point is 01:17:52 Nova V. Sarah the changeling. Shy Sign 23. I'm just Sam and Anthony H. Woo. That is all of our elder. Thank you so, so much for your continued support. We really deeply, truly appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:18:08 If you would like to join this illustrious council, you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nadpod. That is going to do it for us here today, but we will be back again next week with another episode. Thanks so so much for listening. And until then, this is Caldwell saying be well and farewell. Bye-bye. That was a headgum podcast.

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