Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 4: Murdercycle

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

The Kill Screens break out of Mothership HQ and try to escape Zone 6! Slug deadlifts a security system, Aux attempts to jump a blockade, and Atom offloads some cargo. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford."Atom" by Emily Axford."Mothership" by Emily Axford."Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford."Slug" by Emily Axford."Corrupted" by Emily Axford."The Mithril Miner's Shuffle" by Emily Axford. "Zelbuldar" by Emily Axford. "Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."The University" by Emily Axford."The Gunslinger's Girl" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everybody. Bahamia. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Doing a dance because I blew up rants.

Also, Ghana. And then, of course, Emily Axford. Absolutely ripped. Syba-skitch. chick with a hockey stick that doesn't miss um slug slap oh my god you guys are acting like he didn't have rhymes and she's got a goddamn poem i didn't have a rhyme yeah that's true i guess emily was just being quiet which she was probably just thinking of something emily's ring in yeah uh and then of course we got called well tanner

feeling rather lucky because of my water drinking ducky it's atom wrong oh that's right you did get a little water drinking it's going right to the price counter it's fun With that, let's go ahead and do... It's going to keep being fun, right? A little recap. I added it to my inventory, it's a big part of my backstory now. Let's find out if it makes the recap.

Why is it blinking? Spoiler alert, it doesn't. Last time, you finished off a mothership enforcer inside of the fifth floor conference room where Corky Glenn bottle and his wolf pack were doing arcane. You stole Corky's key card, his motorcycle fobs, and made it look like he pissed himself

before throwing him in the closet. Piss comes back. Then you headed down to the first floor where Petunia Glennbottle was addressing her supporters, giving a disturbing speech that implied mothership would be spreading to the other zones in the coming year. Afterwards, an overzealous fan tried to jump the barrier and was brutally killed by the ultra-powerful cyborg, the prototype. Meanwhile, Slug obscured herself amongst the crowd using her reach to secure a handshake and thus a fingerprint from Petunia. Best use of reach I've ever seen. Yeah, seriously.

Coming into a rage for a handshake is a new one for me. Only non-violent use of reach ever, maybe? Yeah. Hey, talk about a pole arm, am I right? There you go. Nice. You snuck up to the 13th floor where you engaged two elite mothership knights who seemed to be in a complicated situation shift.

After defeating them, you entered Petunia's office and investigated her computer where you found some troubling information. Implication that R3, the leader of the jailbreakers, may have been hacked. payments to a shell company called the Underground Ironworks Coalition and plans for expansion into Zone 1, including a refurbished arcade fun zone. You searched the bookcase, and after placing the books in the correct order, managed to find the safe hidden behind. You used Petunia's fingerprint to open it, but did not find 10 million credits inside, but instead a chip. OX placed it inside a reader to try to get a better idea of its capabilities and learned that this was a powerful weapon called the Admonia. administrator chip. This would allow a person to potentially psychically control the machines and

augmented people around them. More troubling, if that person were to die after being given administrative access, it's possible that everything in their vicinity might shut down as well. Suddenly, the room went into lockdown and Spector announced that Petunia must have gotten pinged when her safe was opened. She and the prototype began heading towards her office as an iron door and iron shades covered the escapeways. And that's where we are now. Oh, do we have to be. Everything, everything has shut down. Everything has gone dark in here.

There's just like a little bit of a red light where like security personnel would be able to see in here. The door has locked down, sliced right through the dudes that you put in the way. The windows have been covered by metal coverings. I'm going to go ahead and say, let's go ahead and roll initiative. Okay. 19. 16.

18. Okay, do we want to go out through the window or the door? because they both got their dangers. I think that going through the door would involve having to go through a lot more guards, so I think I'm probably thinking window. All right. I can't do the window.

Guys, I'm so fucking pissed that there weren't credits in there. This sucks. How are we going to get... Oh, a little chip? I can just go to the Best Buy and buy one of these. You for sure can't. You for sure can't. Okay, but how are we going to get the kill screen kiddos?

Uniforms away and home. I don't know, but if you don't get this out of Mothership's hand, the whole city is just going to be murdered. This is unfortunately become an ideological heist as opposed to a monetary one. Yeah. All right. Oh, great. There's so many ethics involved.

Okay. Slug, you are first to act. Okay, so would you say that it's been 10 minutes because that's how long a rage can last if you're using your bonus action to keep it going? I'll allow a little bit of bullshit and say that 10 minutes is fair. You guys were probably doing all this stuff pretty quick. Yeah. Okay. So I'm in a rage.

I'm going to switch through my reconstruction. serum. Okay. So that I get to regain a hit die at the top because I think we're going to be jumping out this window. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. And then I'm going up to this huge grate on the window and I'm just going to, huh. Oh, okay. They deep, try to open it up. All right. Here's what I'll say. This thing essentially has like a damaged threshold and is super heavy. But if you want to just like brute force it and try to just get like a foot or two up so you guys can just like smash the window and try to squeeze out. Let's say DC-18 plus a D-6. I'm gonna roll the D-6 in front of the table.

Okay. Ooh. That's a four, that's a DC-22 to lift this thing. You're already rolling this with advantage, yeah. Since I got two attacks, can I do it twice? I'll let you do it twice, yeah. I got a plus eight to my athletics. Got it on the first one.

26. Nice, okay. You see Slug, and Slug is one of the fuck probably the strongest person you guys know. You see Slug has the vials going. You see they start to empty as they go into her body. Banes pulsing as she lifts, doing a deadlift, just like impossible. You see sparks going up.

I got a syringe just hanging out the side of my mouth like a cigarette. Yeah. And you see she manages to pull it up only like a couple feet. So she gets like one window like half the way up, or at least the metal grate, Under it is still like hard glass. Since that was my first attack, you can I try to punch through it or use your hockey stick.

I kind of just want to get it up even higher. Okay, yeah, yeah. I take all of the used syringes and put them in a safe box. I don't get it on the second one. So we're good. We're good at sea. You got a couple of things.

You can get through. Okay, after Slug's turn, that's OX's turn. I pull out the sawed-off blundibus and I unload on the window. week, go ahead and give me an attack roll. 14. Hits, go ahead and do damage. There's a damage threshold, but if you meet the damage threshold, you are just going to smash this window.

16 on the first attack? 16 damage, smash it. All right. And you guys see, you look down, you're up on the 13th floor, so I'll say this is, we'll just keep it simple. We'll say you're 130 feet up. Okay, that's pretty high. Pretty fucking high. That's a lot.

So yeah, you look out, you break the window open. Fresh air starts like pouring in. You hear the sounds of the city and see people like ants below you. Okay. The wind like blows me back and I stagger towards. Oh, fuck, there's Donaton. He's littering again. Excuse me.

He's just down there pissing on the street. Go ahead and give me a perception check. All right. Only an eight. Okay. You don't see anything other than what I just described. Fire escape. We're talking about a fire.

escape. I got something I've been working on. I have these tiny little jet packs for everybody. What? I can cast featherfall. Oh, so sad. Whoa. What this is.

So I pop up in Rova. I'm like, hey, I got everybody presents. I got you new backpacks. Oh, and that's great because we don't have to wait for your turn because that's a reaction. Oh, it is. That's right. Yeah. Wow. You've been holding out on me. This would be perfect for the prize

counter. Yeah, well, I've still perfecting them. I'm not 100% sure they work. I think they'll be fine. So the way Featherfall is going to work, featherfall is a reaction. So you are able to cast it on everybody this turn. Are you jumping this turn, Ox?

Yeah, I'm going to jump for it. Ox jumps. Strap one on Rover, too. You and Rover jump out. You begin making your way down after Ox. That is Adam's turn. Okay. So I'll just jump on.

Now I'll jump. You may also jump out, okay? It is not Slug's turn yet, so Slug will act at the top of the round. Actually, this might not do anything, but I want to just do a quick search to see if I see a camera in this room. Okay. Go ahead and give me a perception check. Oh, shit, just a six. You don't see anything.

Fuck. Okay. I flip off the room in general. Great. And then I, yeah, jump out and say, see you at the bottom, bitches. Cool. You jump out your guys backpacks, ignite. And there's sort of these like underpowered jet packs that can just like make it so you fall slow.

So it's kind of terrifying. Like you free fall like 20 feet and then shoot up a little bit. I told you I still working on. Free fall like really hurt your back as you shoot straight back up. This is not safe for children. Adam and Ox, as you guys fall and land on the ground outside, you look up and see four mothership nights that were on the roof, repel down and start to get ready to swing into the office. However, we have said that it's only like two feet.

So they're not in yet, but you see they're repelled and ready to, they ready actions to swing on anyone else that's coming through. Okay. So Slug, that is your turn. Oh. I've been waiting too long to skydive. I'm just going to try to dive right through them. They will have disadvantage on opportunity attacks against me because I'm speedy.

Okay. You see, these four mothership nights actually, It probably doesn't make sense for four of them to sit there and wait. They see you guys feather falling. So I'll say three of them are going to repel down and try to follow you guys and just one will wait. So one is going to take a crack at you as you come through the window. Oh, okay. They miss.

Okay. So I want to jump out and then on the way down because I still got an action. Can I turn around and with my hunting rifle shoot up at them? Okay. Awesome. You can shoot up at them. You can also, so the wire has high AC because it's small, but if you shoot the wire, it's a one-shot kill. Oh.

AC-24, hard to do it. Could I try to hook it with my hockey stick on the way down? Either one. Either one. It's just a 24 to break it. I just fucking crit again. Oh, my God. Okay.

And I didn't even have advantage that time. All right. Well, with a 19th. You cut through one of their repell lines. Fuck no! I haven't you always wanted to skydive. one of them falls all the way down. You guys get down there faster with feather fall

than these guys get down repelling. I wave as the guy falls past us. You see, they're not in full panic mode yet in the building. They just, like, tried to lock down that one room. Petunia looked like she maybe underestimated you guys or didn't know what was going on, so tried to, like, lock you guys down while keeping the party going.

So you see, the partygoers are mostly out of the loop. There's just, like, people hanging around outside, but you do see soldiers are kind of assembled, and some of them are starting to like run out of the entrance. But just as they are, you see three sleek blue mothership motorcycles glowing with like purple blast shields. And they've got stickers on them that say the wolf pack, are howling wolves.

Dips on the fast one. They're all fast, baby. I need to get on that. Do we see the other names of the wolf pack? Are they like personalized? Yeah. So we got rants. We've got...

Ridge. Ridge. And Duskin. Ridge. I call Ridge. Gibbs Duskin. I think I earned rances. You guys...

Terrible motorcycle sounds, but you... Take off on your motorcycles through the busy street in Zone 6. You're just like weaving through people, just like going around the party. You see there's people diving out of the way. You're juking through like outdoor dining areas and going downstairs.

Airways, essentially driving a motorcycle through Times Square. As you turn onto the main road towards like Zone 5 to get out of mothership territory, you see three mothership knights in Blue Armor take a hairpin turn from the parking garage and pursue you. Overhead, you see three mothership drones are buzzing and begin shooting lasers at you. I'm going to go ahead and roll initiative for those guys, but you guys stay in the same initiative. Okay. Yeah, I'm, can I be staying, uh, in the mix with them so that they're getting my maddened. Totally. Yeah, you guys are the wolf pack rides together. Yes, they do. Except Rance did try to run away from them. Yeah, he certainly did. Almost instantly.

It is like, it is actually like potentially disadvantage if they have area of effect stuff. So we could ride not together if we wanted. No, we stick to that. We got to stick together. Stay close. Okay, so first things first. These guys enter the battlefield. Start chasing you. Looks like they got radioed that there's people that need to be pursued. At initiative 20, mothership snipers from nearby rooftops are going to take six shots at you guys. They just start pinging down lasers. I'm going to go ahead and make two attacks on each one of you. You guys just see like, oh yeah, we just got to outrun these guys and suddenly laser sites start appearing on you. They just own this whole section of time. So you guys are getting shot at. We'll start with Adam.

We didn't even steal money. Why are you mad? One is going to hit. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and use skin of my teeth. This is a reaction. It's a wrist dice. I'm going to add, let's see. Fuck, one to my AC, which makes it 19 to still hit. 26 hits you directly in the bed. I try to shoot it with my gun. 18 damage. Okay.

Next one, we're going after ox, shooting at you as you're riding. Hey, whoa. That's one hit. What was it? Just three damage. It grazes you. Oh, all right. Why did you get the easy bullets?

You're a much bigger target. Is that a big? You see just like one super serious-looking sniper is shooting at Adam, and you see a real nervous guy on his first day? Oh, geez, I didn't think anyone was going to come by. Stand down. And then two more are going to come at our girl's slug. That is 17.

Does 17 hit you? No, it does not. Misses. Okay, so one miss, one hit. Two damage. It's straight up 2D10s, so it can be like... What type of damage? Piercing.

One damage, that. One damage, okay. Just too real nervous, yeah, like on top of the M&M store. I'm like hunched over my motorcycle and it like hits me in the back in a way. Then I'm like, oh shit, I think you got a knot out of my back. Hey, thanks for that. That's open something up. Okay.

Guys, duskin is hurt. Enough. Okay. After that, that is initiative 19, which is slug. Okay, so slug. On this motorcycle, you guys are out of range of these snipers now, but you do hear, like, alarms are going up throughout the city now. Like, other mothership knights will join.

For now, you have three nights pursuing you on motorcycle and three drones. Anyone close by? Yeah, I'll say, I mean, they're engaging with you, so you can fall back and go after them if you want. I'm not going to make you guys use, like, dash actions or anything like that. Essentially, you just have to clear out the people around you, and then we'll say you escape. Cool. I'm going to fall back and attack someone's motorcycle.

Sick. You hit the brakes and appear right next to them. I want to hit the brakes so they run right into me. So go ahead and make some attacks. I'm going to attack recklessly. Sick. Okay. You pull up next cloud strife style, start swinging down in him.

I'm so sorry. Did you crit again? It's the 19. It just gets out. That is so fucking sick. Because I'm recklessly attacking. All right. With advantage.

Don't apologize for that. 27 damage on the crit. Give me a con save. Quite hurt. These guys are not as tough as the red ones. These are regular nights. Con save, it'll knock him prone. If he falls prone, he falls off.

Okay, so I'll roll this in front of the table. He gets a plus three to this roll. 16 is good. So 13 or higher, he stays on. Otherwise, he falls off his motorcycle and gets so hurt. Save the motorcycle. 13, exactly. he manages to stay on.

You see, ah! He like falls backwards, takes his hand off the bike. It starts to wobble. Still attacking recklessly. That's a 24. 24 hits. 15 more slashing damage and another con save. Okay, this guy is quite hurt.

He's beyond bloodied at this point. And fails. So super bloodied, super hurt. Let's use the self-drive mode. You see, it's an emergency, so the roads are a little different. just drives directly into an ambulance. It explodes and he dies. And because of my great weapon master,

I get a bonus action attack. Great. On another guy. Okay, yeah. Two more guys next to you. Oh, my God. Look at it. This one's not 20.

Just look at it. Jesus. Isn't that right? Looking at it. Quit getting mad at her. We don't believe her, man. Well, I wrote kind of poorly on the dice stuff. Okay, so it is 22 damage, 22 slashing.

And I'm not a constitution save. Jesus. Roll in front of the table. He's going to go into self-driving road, which is death sentence. Nat 20. Fine, you get one too. You hit him so that he takes like a more serious pose. Let's go of his sword.

Right, two hands, two hands. You remember his driving school. So he's very hurt but stays standing. That is Ox's turn. 10 and 2, bud. I'm going to turn and face. that guy, hit my helmet and get the LCD eye mask up. Okay.

And I'm gonna stare at like his engine on the motorcycle and cast heat metal. Okay. Ooh. Oh, so fun. So yeah, like almost like zero in on it and create like a mishap within the engine. Okay, so let's say, we'll say you're essentially targeting him because his bike is like, we'll be heating up. So it'll be whether or not he can take it. Yeah.

It's if he falls off the bottom. So it's a concept. 16. Okay. DC 16. I'll roll in front of the table. 13 or higher, he saves. 18 passes. So you see, not only is this guy a 10 and 2, well, not 10 and 2 on a motorcycle.

He's weirdly 10 and 2 on a motorcycle. And then on it, also he has like a nice, like, heating pad. And you hear him like, he quivers a little bit. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, he likes it. Rova, Ram him. What did you heat? What did you heat?

I'll have Rover try to ram his motorcycle. Sweet. You guys hit the brakes and go back. to meet up with them and rev your engines again to get right next to them. All right. Fucking hell. Rover got a knot one. Cool.

It's all right, buddy. Stay with me. Rover falls off and then bounces back onto your motorcycle. You're my sidecar now. After Ox's turn, that's Adam's turn. Okay, so we got two drivers left and three drones as well. Three drones. I forgot about the drones.

Oh, yeah. Hmm. Maybe I will try and focus on the drones a bit. Yeah, I'm going to use my sniper rifle. Okay. I'm going to like clinch my legs against the motor. cycle and like swivel my entire body around. Sure, sure.

I hear the bike go, would you like me to enter self-driving mode? Absolutely not. I see five dogs. Starts to drive towards a dog. The dogs aren't a pain of the rules of the road, sir. I use my loud megaphone voice to say, everyone watch out. It is in self-driving mode. Great.

Okay. Go ahead and take shots at the drones. Great. That's a Nat one. Woof. Can I do anything about it? You shoot a dog, kidding. Not real.

I'm real. Dude. I just shoot their owner in the ass. That's fine. You shoot an owner in the ass. Okay, let me take one more attack. Okay, that's a dirty 20. It's.

Great. 17 damage. Okay. One of the drones looks very, very hurts. As much as a drone can look hurt. It's smoking. Again, not in a cool way. Is that robot crying?

He's an emotionality. Please stop running. It's making me sad. Oh, I hate a sense. Bad robot. Oh, I heard about this. Mothership introduced crying robots. Okay.

So that is the mothership knight's turns. They are, I'll say one will engage with ox. One will engage with Slug. It's going to use a gadget. So the one is going to overcharge himself. So you see clenches his fist. You see lightning bolt goes through his arm. Were you attacking recklessly?

I did, yeah. So attacks with advantage. It's going to add a D6 to this attack if he hits. Ooh. Nat 20. So we'll add two D6s to it. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

So, yeah, you see an ultra-powerful enhancement that makes his arm buffer as he stabs directly into your chest. Oh. 24 slashing damage. Okay, you got my attention. We should get one of those. And then makes a second attack. Can't use a gadget on this one. That's a 23 to hit.

Just nine little damage. Okay. Then that is the one that is going to engage with auks. Ox, ox. Yeah. You see this guy is going to open up his bracer and shoot a freaking Django Fet grappling hook at you. Hey. Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw.

Django Fet, my favorite character. Nat 20. Nat 20. Fully breaks off and detaches, and you could possibly use this yourself in the future. You are no Django Fet. That is just his gadget, though, so he'll take just regular sword attacks. Fuck, I knew it wasn't Jengal Fet. Just a guy with a sword.

Is he attacking Ox? He's attacking Ox. Is he within 30 feet of me? Certainly. Then he's doing it with a disadvantage. Great. Okay. So attack with disadvantage. Misses on the first one. Second one is a hit because lower roll is a 17.

12 damage to you, Ox. Okay. Slashing damage. After the mothership Knights, we are at Initiative 10. At Initiative 10, in addition to these drones, you see more drones get dropped off by like a half. helicopter-sized like drop ship drops more drones that enter the battlefield. Dron Mommy.

Dron mommy. But these ones are different. You see, these ones fire a barrage of lightning arrows ahead of you on the path ahead that explode into streaks of lightning. Everybody give me a deck-saving throw to get out of the way. Advantage because of danger sense. DC-14. 15, I got.

Okay. 26. 23. Okay. You all take half, which is just eight light. damage. After initiative 10, that's initiative 9. That is the three drones. The three drones are going to close in on. We'll say two of them will go after our girl's slug. So first things first, one's going to try to do a disruptive pulse. Go ahead and give me an intelligent saving throw.

You see, it just jabs you and tries to shock you into making some of your machinery not work. Slugs, careful. They're depressed. I'm sad. You should feel sad too. Eight. Emotionally manipulative robots, that's dangerous. Roll me a D6. Don't let them use therapy speak on you. Five. Malfunctioning gears, creature is slowed

until the end of its next turn as its gears are jam. Oh. Okay. My gear is a jam. You're only going to be able to take one attack and use an action or a bonus action. Oh, geez. Okay.

Then it's going to take, it still makes more attacks. It takes two little, like, dart attacks. So you see, after doing that devastating thing that shocks your whole system and slows you down. You just see, p phew, shoots two little darts. With advantage because I had attacked directly.

Great. Okay. So first attack, 22 to hit, hits you for five damage. Second one is definitely going to hit six piercing damage. And then the second drone goes, and it will just take three attacks at you. Two hits,

18 damage total. After that, that is the next drone is going to come down at OX. It's going to do a disruptive pulse. go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw as you feel these electrodes go into you. I'm smarter than I look. 30-20.

Okay, you are all good. You do not get any side effects. Nice. But it makes two more attacks and gets an 18 on the first attack. Okay, I push a button on my helmet and shield goes up. Hell yeah.

Nice. Pinks harmlessly off of your helmet. And second attack fails. Without the disadvantage, it would have been a crit. Yes. After the drones. These fumes.

I'm very fuming. I like your pheromies. Top of the order at Initiative 20. You see an armored vehicle pulls out of a nearby garage. The back opens up and one mothership elite knight. And two more nights drop out of the back on motorcycles. There are also gunners in the truck who are going to take three shots. One at each of you.

Advantage on me. Okay. First one at Adam is going to be a. A 21 to hit. 21 to hit, would hit. But I'm going to use another skin of my teeth, which is funny because I don't have teeth. I'm going to try and beat this.

We can get you teeth. Skin of my beep. Skin of my beep. That is a five, which boosted it to 23. Sick. You juke out of the way using your motorcycle. I do a motorcycle flip. Hell yeah.

Did you guys see that? You guys are both fully engaged. I don't know how I did that. Do a barrel roll. The other gunners are going to take shots. Makes disadvantage shot on ox because right next. to our girl Slug, misses, and then takes a shot with advantage on Slug.

It's going to hit 2D10 of damage, which is 11 piercing damage. Thank God it's piercing. Okay. She's hit. Two new mothership nights. I'm going to roll for them. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy, we got to choose it. And if she gets knocked out, that's tough. You guys might have to heal her up or something. Okay, so that was initiative 20. Slug, that is your turn. Oh, thank God. Okay, started my turn. Even though I'm slowed, I had initiated reconstruction before.

So I am going to expend a hit die. So I regain 5 HP. I do have one attack, though, right? You do have one attack. You also have your potion that you can take. I think what I want to do is I want to do my attack and then get the fuck out of you. Okay. I am bloodied, so I will have advantage.

Okay, great. Who is closest to me? There's a knight that has taken damage near you. That's going to hit 24. 24 hits. 14 slashing and he's got to do a con save or fall prone. Okay. Fails the con save.

This guy goes down. Great. And then I want to put away my hockey stick and take out a shield. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And I want to drive away from the mail. Okay. So you want to use the vehicle speed to go up past like where Adam is.

Yeah, I'm like retreating as much as I can. Great. Motorcycle takes a full dash and goes ahead to get out of the range of these other knights. Okay. Okay. After Slug's turn, that is Ox's turn. You know what? No more gadgets.

I'm just going to ram my bike into one of these knights next to me and hit them with my mall. Okay. And you have the charge, right? I'll let you use it with a bike. Okay. So essentially if they knock the prone, you might be able to knock them over. All right. I'm going to use Savage Attack or two?

Sure. All right. So I'm just going to turn hard. left right into this guy. Hell yeah. Chach. That's a 27 hit. 27 hits? And I do have, since I'm a fighta, I'm going to hit him with my mall and it does have the top of

property. 16's the same. Okay. Nees to roll a 13 or higher. I'll just roll this in front of the table. Yes, finally. These guys have been rolling so hot tonight. Six fails, falls off. So there are still three nights. There's one elite and two nights. Just the new guys. You guys have killed all of the knights that have chased

you originally. Okay. Except for there's drones still. So you guys are in, it's a tough spot. Right now, Slug is ahead. So it's probably the most protected. I also did not attack recklessly this turn. So they don't have disadvantage anymore. I've got one more attack, right?

Yes. Okay. Awesome. So if there's a guy, there's another motorcycle near me. There's two more regular nights and one elite, which one do you want to go after? I'll go off through a regular guy. Okay. That is an 18 to hit.

18 hits. Okay, I'll use savage attack here. 16 damage. 16 damage. Do you topple multiple times every turn? Yeah, I think you can. Okay, sick. I think it's any time you hit with that weapon.

Roll in front of you guys again. Yeah. There we go. Another six, you take another one down. Okay. You guys got to learn how to ride a bike. Yeah, that dude did look a little wobbly. Okay, after Ox's turn, that is the other mothership night that is fresh that just got here.

He just got out of the shower. He just got out of the shower. You see he's soaking wet. I just got out of the fucking shower. And already on my bike, God damn it. What kind of night is this? You got to catch a cold. I thought I was just watching a gala.

You shower with your armor on. Yeah. Yeah, I do. You're goddamn right, I do. That's kind of cool. Yeah, his armor is soaking wet. He is going to overcharge. You see, his arm gets super jacked.

This isn't from jacking off. He was just in the shower. It's suspicious. He takes two attacks on ox here. I feel like you just jacked off now. I feel like that's so weird because we were at a party and then you just went into a bathroom. Maybe you had a good conversation or something.

I just taking your shower during the party. It's weird about that. I think you need to jack off. So first one misses. I think you had a good conversation and you went to. Second attack is a 26. A conversation got flirty and I knew it was at work. So I just went to the shower and took a shower and jerked off instead of flirting.

Okay. So, wow, the truth came out so fast. Does nine damage to you. All right. Okay. Then an action at Initiative 10. At Initiative 10, you are losing the armored vehicle. Okay.

One of the gunners makes one last desperate attack pulling out a rocket launcher. I will say slug, since you have separated yourself from the pack a little bit, can't hit everyone with this. So it will just be Adam and Ox here. And actually the one mothership knight that is engaging with Ox will also have to do it. So you see this guy just goes, fuck you, dude, you jacked off at work. Shoot a grenade launcher into the air. Give me a DC-14 dexterity saving throw to get out of the way.

God damn, that's a nap one. Yikes. That's a 23. Okay. Ox, you take 18 fire damage. I'm so nearly that. Okay. Oh no.

Adam, you take half. You take nine. Okay. After initiative 10, that is the three drones that are still left. Oh, my God. So this one drone is going to, it's already used up. It can only use the disruptor thing once. So they're just going to start taking shots.

They're going to shoot at all three of you guys. They have the range. They don't have advantage on me. They don't have advantage. And my AC is 20 now because I've got my shield. Okay. So the drones will just take three shots at each. of you, just these little darts.

Okay. So three shots at Slug, all three miss. Highest, was it 11. So misses. Wow. Three shots at Ox. A 22 to hit. Does it does.

Okay. Nine damage. Ox loses control of his motorcycle. No. Okay. I'll say it goes into Specter can kind of try to pilot it remotely. Stay with us, Ox. Stay with us.

Ox, head is like lolling over the handlebars. Rover. Help him. Yeah, I'll say Roeck. is able to kind of stabilize you so you don't fall off. Rob is in the side cop. Okay. So he drops down to zero. And then the last one goes after Adam.

Just one hit, seven damage, Adam. Okay. I'm at 21. I'm doing okay. After the drones, that is the elite's turn. I'll say that the elite is going to go up, is going to use a gadget to try to to overpower himself, to give himself like one mighty arm. You already have a mighty arm. Already has a mighty arm.

How many showers are there? Three attacks. First attack, the one that is overpowered, he swings wide and only gets a 14. So misses on the first attack. Second attack is a 15 hit. Misses. Okay. Third attack is an 18 hit.

I'm going to impose disadvantage with my lucky. Okay. Nice. That's an at four. Elite misses three times. Nice. Okay. At initiative 20, you guys are beginning to make your way out of zone six.

You're almost in zone five. At the start of round three, you see laser sights begin appearing all over your body. You look and you see that mothership has sent soldiers ahead and made a blockade to make a last stand to keep you guys here. They pulled a bunch of trucks together to form a wall and are using. them as cover, so they're going to go ahead and make three attacks, one on each of you. So first one is Slug. My AC's 20 now and you don't have advantage. 18 to hit, misses.

Misses because of my shield. Next one, they are going to fire at you, Ox, but they fire with disadvantage because it's a ranged attack. Oh. Thanks. Go ahead. Misses. And then the last attack is going on our dude, Adam here.

And that is just a 13 hit. So they missed. Uh, begin firing. These are like lower, like they basically scrambled to get any guys together that they could. This is essentially like a swarm of guards. So for those three attacks, you guys were actually being fired at by like 18 dudes that are just like lower leveled guys behind a barricade.

At initiative 10, you guys will hit that barricade and, uh, we'll get a chance to do like a jump over it and essentially clear the zone and then you're home free. Gotcha. After initiative 20 slug, that is your, turn. Okay. I got a question. To give a healing potion that is action or bonus action. Either. Okay. And slow is lifted on you. It's lifted. Okay, great. So do I see any, like, street lamps that maybe I could just hook with my hockey stick to make a thing for us to ride over to, like a ramp to go over to barricade? Go ahead and give me a perception check. 11. 11. Okay. You don't see like a

perfectly lined up lamp post or anything like that. But you do see like the cave wall there, this bike might be able to ride up it. There are some like slight, like, you guys are basically being funneled into a tunnel and these guys have made a blockade. But it is the wall of the tunnel is like a little bit smooth and rounded.

So you could get with a decks check, get around this blockade. Slugs. It looks like a half pipe. Holy shit, I'm used to doing this on my rollerblades, but I'm a motorcycle chick now. I am, however, going to... I got to head back to ox. Okay, you have it back to ox?

Yeah, I'm going to head back to ox. I'm going to give them a healing potion. Cool. Okay, so I have my healing potion I made. I think the way you take my healing potions is it's like a crushable, so I like just crush a can on your head. The potion goes into your mouth. 13. Okay, sick.

That's my action, my bonus action. I am going to use my purple dragon commandment, and I am going to encourage ally. Ooh. I'm going to say, Ox, get you out in the game. This ain't where you meant to go. Are we dead? And I gave him 11 temp HP. Whoa, sick.

Okay. All right. And then I am just making a B-line for that ramp. Great. Okay. You start trying to go up the side as these guys take shots at you. after slug, that thing tasted like ass. It actually tastes it like guava.

Yeah, guava. I think you just don't like to taste the guava. Yeah, I guess I don't like, because I don't like guava. Hey, come to my soda fountain. We'll experiment with flavor that's right for you. It could taste like ass any time. Oh, that's your turn. We're making a B-Lyme for this barricade right now, right?

You can essentially try to ride around it like, I'm just assuming you guys are all moving as fast as possible, so we're not dealing with speed. Yeah. At Initiative 10, you guys hit the half pipe. Okay. Or full pipe, rather. Yeah. All right, then just to bolster myself, I'm going to rev the motorcycle engine and cast jump.

Oh, okay, sick. Okay, great. Nice. Rad. Okay. You cast jump on yourself. There's one mothership night that goes before Adam. That is one of the fresh ones who just took a shower is going to get to go.

is going to, hey, why not, use a flash grenade on Adam. Adam, go ahead and give me a cons. Oh, my God. Be blinded until the start of, oh, it's only the start of your next turn, so you'll actually be okay, but it'll get attacks with advantage. This guy's flashing me. He took a shower, and now he's flashing me.

Stop, it's not like that. I don't like jokes like the other guys do. I just took a regular shower. Okay, well, the rest of you. Because I shower in my armor before work. Eitha armor? Yeah. That's going to be a 19.

19 passes. You are all good. He's going to make these attacks flat. 17 to hit. Misses. Okay. Misses second attack. 25 to hit.

That does hit. Okay. That does nine damage. Oh. So you guys see the drones start to back off because they don't act until initiative nine. And that is before the action. So they're going to hit this barricade. You see the bikes start to back up as they basically hit the brakes as they leave you guys to run into the barricade.

You guys are driving at top speed towards the barricade. What does everyone do as you approach it? I jump onto the seat on my rollerblades, so I'm surfing it. Okay. Oh, sick. I think since I have jump cast on myself, I'm going to just ride my motorcycle straight into the wall with eyes. Hell yeah, and jump off at the last second and skitch behind. Hell yes.

What do you do, Adam? I want to contact Spectre real quick and say, are we home free after we get through this tunnel? After you get through this tunnel, you'll be in hammering circuit territory, so you'll be free from mothership. That's something. Yeah. Okay. They put out a warning. They shut down all the trains.

Oh. We'll do with that problem when we have to. Spect I'm super fucked. Yeah. No, I know. I know. I got a place you might be able to get some rest. I'm scared. Yeah, that's the parricade.

I'm scared too. If I die, tell the kill screen kiddos win the fucking championship this year. I swear to God, I'll make sure they win the cup. Just please. And tell them to go for it, too. Don't sit back on defense. Focus up because you're not dead yet. Guys, guys, guys, focus up because you're not dead yet.

This isn't a half pipe. This is a full pipe. The pipe is full, and we must remain optimistic. I hate to do this, but it's the only chance we've got. I need to drop some cargo. and I pull out the little duck slurp toy. And I throw it right at the elite. Sick.

You throw the duck. I don't know. What are you doing, like, trick-wise as you go over the barricade or, like, strategy-wise? I think I am just, like, opening up my ass and, like, a ton of debris is falling out. Okay, so you're just going super fast by just, like, unloading everything in your body that you've been storing up. Okay. You see, like, extra Hawaiian shirts. Just, like, so much candy, so many seeds.

sticky arms, just like lots of little toys and trinkets that I was saving for the prize gowns. Is that a condom? I'll also take one of the chains that's criss-crossed. I'm wearing criss-crossed on my absolutely muscular torso. And I want to be, as I'm sorry for this, I want to be, like, swinging it behind me, like a whip in case I need to try to, like, use it, like, grappling. Sick.

Okay. So here's how this is going to work. You guys are about to collide with the blockade or rather go up the tunnel, full pipe, or just jump over it like ox is. I need DC-14 decks saving throws. Here's how this is going to work. If you fail by five or more, you straight up fall off your motorcycle and go prone. And we'll just have to figure out how to deal with this swarm of dudes that's coming after you.

If you fail by just a few, then you basically just like land bad and slow down, and these guys will get to take a few shots at you as you ride off. If you land it perfectly, you perfectly ride it like a half pipe and go around. So go ahead and give me deck saving throws. Nat 20, baby. Wow. 16.

Oh, yeah, 16. Okay. 15. 15? Everybody passes. Okay. So you see, yeah, with the Nat 20, you see OX, these guys are getting ready to shoot at you. And you just jump over, kind of drawing fire.

So these guys shoot low where you just were, as opposed to where you. you're going. Slug, you go fully around it, like a skateboarder in a tunnel. It's so fun, I think, about doing it a second time. And Adam, you're able to unload enough shit that you've been carrying, that you just barely make it as lasers are shooting behind you. As I do it, I say to everyone else, it's like Sir Elmer always said, I've got to take a dump. That guy could really fill a day with dumps.

He knew how to clock a toilet. One or two. Didn't matter. Yeah. You have a quick flashback. You'll run faster. Take a dome. Wow.

The soldiers shoot rifles at you as you pass, but their lasers bounce off the cave wall or hit the pavement behind you. You guys exit zone six. And while mothership is slowly taking over the city, they wouldn't dare at this point. in the sort of negotiations and buying out of the different crews of crossing into zone five without like checking first. It would be open warfare in the streets. So you guys escape mothership for now and you enter this abandoned roadway between zone six and zone five. As you do, let me remind you, I'll do a little recap on hammer and circuits. Hammer and circuits are from Oldstown, aka Zone 5. Dwarves descended from

Cragwater who combine the black smithing skills of their ancestors with modern technology. They mine for precious metals to fuel their augmentations. They drive drill cars, wield magnetic flying hammers, and on armored utility suits that look like plate mail, but allow them to move at supernatural speeds. So traveling down this long tunnel, you guys suspect mothership will try to follow up at some point or maybe send like assassins after you, but you think maybe you might have like a couple minutes if you guys want to take a short rest. Yeah.

I don't even have the hit dice to heal myself. You have zero hit dice left? I've used it all. Wow. Because I used my reconstruction serum. It's like one of my serums I can use. And that's a hit dice? And that expends your hit dice.

Okay. So what are you at? I would be down if not for it. Wow. What are you at? Ten. Okay. Well, we should maybe find a place to get you a potion or something.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe we could find some sort of open minds. the dealer? Yeah, you hear a Spector in your ear goes, okay, so first things first, you guys probably want to ditch the bikes because they're mothership property.

Oh, they'll be able to track them soon. Oh, you're really good at doing, uh, Brandon. Can I mod this thing? Can we mod it? Okay, the thing is, is that if anyone is in bed with mothership or anything, we'll be looking for the guys on mothership motorcycles. I would imagine they'll probably get the word out.

All right, Spectre. Give me a second to say goodbye. This thing was so fast. I have an incredibly different response. If I can't have it, no one can. I attack the bike. Oh, you just in one hit, you break it. I break it over my knee.

Oh, my God. I'm over my knee and you see a ripple through my quas as the impact happens. It's a beautiful machine. Is there like a tracking beacon in it that we could pull out? You, again, if you want to ride, I mean, you guys are saying so we can like give them a false trail. Oh. Interesting. Yeah, you would think that, so right now, Spector has, like, taken control over it to, like, give it over to you guys.

You assume that there's going to be some way for mothership to probably regain control of this thing. Yes. You could probably just send it off and stop controlling it and make it seem like you guys are going in a different direction or something. Okay, but what if we found some rats and tied them to them so that they go into the walls? I do have plus four to animal handling. Okay. I actually think I have plus five to animal handling. Okay. We are going to look for rats.

Great. Give me animal handling, Jaxx. I'll give her the help action. Okay. Unfortunately, even with the help action, I only got a nine. Okay. You see... I got beat by a rat.

Oh, shit. Oh, no. Yeah, a big nasty rat bite slug. Hey. And then gets away. Just gets into a little hole. Catch him. Get him.

I demand vengeance I chase after the rat He's in a teeny hole You reach in and you hurt your arm I put my finger gun into the hole Okay are you just going to kill this rat Don't shoot it, don't shoot it Hey come out here

That rat hurt my friend Come out with your hands up It's fine, it's fine I'll get him another day I shout down the hole This ain't over This episode of NADPOD is brought to you By Squarespace

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Right. So I just want to kind of like push it so that it, if there's like a quarry or like somewhere that I could like push it where I would like clearly lead them off the trail. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. I'll say there's multiple tunnels here. You lead it down a side tunnel. Great. I'll do the same. Okay. You hear Spector go.

I'm going to contact an old friend. I'll see if he can give you guys a place to hide until things cooled down. Yeah, that'd be huge. Who? Who? What should we expect? Old drill. And you guys remember old drill was number two in the Hammer and Circuit. So he was an underboss to Old Blunderbuss, who was the leader of Hammer and Circuits.

He's a friend. He's straight up like, I think would be like a trusted ally. Close confidant of Elmer was overlooked for the boss job. in favor of young blunder. Who is old blunderbuss's son. Okay. So the Nepo baby became the boss. We got friends here, but we got enemies too.

Yeah. Yeah. So it would seem, or at least you can talk to Old Drill about it, who is this older dwarf that used to drill as a weapon. He has like an attachment on his hand that he can like change his hand into a drill bit. Cool. Pretty rad back in the day. Older guy now.

So there was a mix of like when it was time to pass. on leadership. It was like, it could have been him, but he's like a little old. So they were going to have him like essentially mentor young blunder, but young blunder just don't listen. He's got a lawn on his mind. Mostly a clear plastic dome. Spector goes, I would imagine he's home.

All right. I'll send you the coordinates to his place. Okay. So you guys continue traveling towards zone five. As dangerous as zone five is, you definitely want to get out of mothership territory. Right. So in order to get to old drill, you've got to get into this actual zone 5.

Right now, you're kind of between. So you travel down this long tunnel. As you do, everybody give me perception checks. Nat one. Slugs. Get on my back. You're tired. 11.

I got a 14. Okay. You guys see ahead of you taking up pretty much the whole tunnel, there is a giant gate ahead, a big metal rusty barrier with two scout towers attached to. it. It's got slots for, like, laser guns to poke out of. And you see a few hammer and circuits bruisers doing the rounds up on the walkway, the cybernetically enhanced dwarves. Okay. Do you think that old drill is there inside? We ask to go see him. Spector goes, old drill's at his house. This is just... Oh, okay. Yeah. We're just trying to get by this.

Wait, Spector, are you still at the arcade? Is everything okay? Everything's okay here. So you guys also know, you guys have, the defenses that hammer and circuits have for like their burrow, you guys have one too. Like the Hamson sisters and stuff aren't just blockers for the team. They like have machine gun attachments and they like have gatling guns and shit. There are like dozens of other people that look out for your crew that are part of your crew. You guys aren't the only ones. You guys were just like close friends with Elmer.

who was the guy who like kind of helped take care of zone ones. God forbid they piss off Big Minnie. Yeah. Big Minnie will let them have it as long as her boyfriend's not in town. Specter. Have you seen any rumblins about who mothership thinks did this? She'll do, she'll go ahead and do like a tech arcana check. She gets a 15.

I'll say with a 15 is only able to get into like low clearance information, but sees that it is like officially announced. that there was like a security breach and that the party is on lockdown right now and they're looking for suspects. They have like pictures of you guys leaving. It seems like there's not cameras everywhere. Like the tech isn't quite that good.

It seems like they need to be like drone type robots. Gotcha. Pretty complicated things. So like the drones have, yeah, you guys fought some drones. Pictures of you guys are being distributed. They know us. They're trying to figure out who you are right now. Right now they have pictures of you.

But they haven't necessarily connected us to kill. screens yet. I think that'll be imminent, but not yet. Is there any way we can pin this on Corky? No. We did. Corky. Oh, yeah. Specta, just tell him Corky did it. It says Corky is missing right now. There's some concern about Corky. It's a secondary thing. It's worth mentioning that Corky's motorcycle was seen fleeing the scene. The Wolfpack's motorcycles, yeah, it did mention that somebody stole the wolfpack's motorcycles. Okay, so we had to bust through this game? Or we sneaking past it? No, we just got to sneak past it.

You guys have a bunch of options. You guys can sneak past it. You can try to fight your way through. You can also, you get the sense that like these guys might know that some shit went down at mothership, but might not know what it is. You could potentially broker with them. It would be like a 50-50 shot. If they're in mothership's pocket, they probably like mothership. If they're not in mothership's pocket, then they hate mothership.

So it's like, which way? Okay. So we go diplomacy, then fight. What about the diplomatic angle is we saw a young blunder there. So we can come and we can say, young blunder, there's talk that maybe he had involvement and all the shit going down. We got some info to bring the old drill. Okay.

Yeah. Maybe they'll let us through. Because, yeah, all right. Because maybe it's in the name of cleaning up young blunder's mess. Right. It's in their interest. Maybe. Maybe.

Any other thoughts? Well, are you? have this navigator's kit. We could maybe try to find an alternate entrance using it. How deep is that? How deep is the rat holes? Hey, knock, knock, little guy. Yeah, let's try that.

The rat crawled in my gun arm. He's deep in there. This might not work, but this is like one of my background things. I have a navigator's kit from my merchant background, which I like to think is something that Sir Elmer, like, installed in me. Okay, sweet. You have a GPS. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess give me a... Plot of course is DC-10, according to like they utilize in the book. All right, it's going to be harder than DC-10, certainly. But you know what? We'll do a sliding scale. Maybe there's another way in. This way in is the most straightforward, and you'll know what you're facing, but it is heavy firepower.

It looks like, like I said, there's like two scout towers. So you'd imagine there's probably a couple guys in there, and then you see a few guys up on, like, the wall. so minimum five or six. Yeah. Okay, I don't want slugs to get shot anymore. Yeah, I am, I got about a diplomatic amount of HP. So go ahead and give me a, you do navigation or you do like history, just be like how much do you know this part of town from when you were hanging out here?

I got good history. Great. 23. 23. Okay. Yeah. Okay, because they did like a lot of mining here and stuff, back in the day, there are some complicated tunnels.

So it is very easy to get lost. But if you know your way, there is a less guarded way to get into the city. So Adam begins leading you guys through these tunnels. It takes a while. You guys might start doubting him at some places and just think like, oh, my God, we're going to get lost and die in the fucking mountain. I print out a tiny map on receipt paper and hand it to them. All right.

These tunnels are getting real narrow. Yeah, I'm starting to get bored. There are a lot of dead rats on the ground. Come on, there's nothing to look at. Just punch the wall. Maybe a rock will come out. Okay, I punched things. So, yeah, you start punching the walls. You guys get to the edge of one of the mining tunnels.

You start seeing mining equipment, and it's night. People aren't, I mean, not that it matters when you're inside a cave, what time it is, but they got unions here. Come on. So nobody's working right now. You start to see some mining equipment, and then you get to some, like, tracks that bring you into the town proper. as you try to get past the tunnel, though, to get, like, into the downtown or, like, the town square,

you do see that there are two guards at the mouth of this tunnel. I mean, here's the thing. Diplomacy can always tone into a fight, but not so much the other way around. So maybe we start on this. Maybe, A, maybe they're friends of old drill. Great.

You guys want to do perception check? Yeah. And that can give you some kind of clue on whether these guys are going to be cool or not. It's a dirty 20. 13 perception check. Bad. Okay. I'm going to, I'll say, Ox, you've got a good enough perception check that you'll be able to get a little bit of a read on the situation.

I'll say guarding the minds, they're probably going to have like the older guys do that. That's probably a little less exciting than guarding that barricade and getting your little bunkers and whatnot. So I'm going to say on a anything high. than a five, it looks like it's some of the old guard of hammer and circuits. Okay. Higher than a five, otherwise it's some young hot shots that look like they might like young one. Okay.

That's a nine. All right. So, uh, yeah, some. These guys look grizzled. Yeah, they look pretty goddamn grizzled. You see they keep spitting like way too much. Yeah. This, too damn hot out.

Wait a minute. And it's like 70 degrees. That's not that hot. I might take, I might take my coat off. I think they have a fever. We should give them some medicine. For me. Spitting is like yawning. I can't help but do it when someone else does it.

Spit, let's go spit with them. I walk up spitting too. Whoa, hey! You see, pull out their hammers. We're just spitting. Hey, hey. I'm sorry, my spit is battery acid. That's not my fault. What are you doing to spit in our territory? You see, both of them pull out their hammers, turn around.

One guy's got, like, a chrome helm that is, like, attached to his head. The other guy's got, like, a cool, like, visor thing over his eyes. Looks like they shoot lasers. You see, they start to like glow. Whoa. Give me a reason. We just thought that you guys needed something to drink. You looked thirsty.

So you came back way through mothership? You guys' mothership? No, no. We hate those guys. And those guys hate us? Yeah. Shit's gone down at mothership, and we're trying to get through to Old Drill because Spector sent us to him. And Old Drill's the true leader.

Yes. He's the true leader, and we got Intel for him. In times like this, we have to rely on the devil. we know. Alma always told me, go straight the old drill. Uh, go ahead and get... Twit. Pitu, put to me.

Ouch. Oh, shit, that tooth came out when I did, that one. Uh, go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Uh, and you can make it with advantage. 19. Nice. Old drill, huh? Yeah.

That's who we're here to see. At least, you know, Spector? You work with Spector ever? Uh, well, I know Spector. Spector's all right. We're officially, uh, not doing business with Spector right now. Now, and young blunderbuss told us to, uh, you know, take anybody out that we saw messing with the mines. But, uh, I'd say, uh, we didn't see you.

And we didn't see you later. And if you got a message for old drill, you could probably give it to him, uh, over on the south side of the neighborhood. Okay. We'll head right there. Thank you kindly. I spit on the ground. Spits at your feet. Pachom! Sorry.

Why spit his weapon? Okay. Yeah, all right, we didn't see you. All right. Do you happen to know if there's a place where my friend could get healed up? You see? I still do not see you, just letting you know. Okay, nobody saw anybody.

Right. First off, who are you guys with? You're talking about Spector, you're talking about old drill, but... We're Elmer's boys. Oh, okay. Kill screens. Kill screens. All right.

Tell you what. Going in anywhere all banged up being from kill screens. probably a lot of the shops aren't going to want to sell to you, or you might get yourselves in a fight. Better off just sneaking in the neighborhood if you want to go meet with Old Drill. That being said, you guys need somebody to pick up something. You throw a little bit of cash on top, and I might be able to deliver something for you.

Okay, yeah. I mean, I'm a pretty good cyber-skitch skitches, so I got some credits to spare. Oh, yes. Yeah. Just reach into my ass, and you'll find them. I can transform them digitally too Let's do that

We could do an ass withdrawal We don't need to I can offer you up the 200 credits for my ass An ATM An ass telemachine You're going to need a receipt either way Okay, yeah So around here

Potions are like You know you want to get a greater Greater Healing elixir Something like that Maybe a couple Okay so that'll be Say normally 100 goal credits, let's say 200 credits.

Yeah? Yeah. Okay. Sounds fair to me. Dispensing. How many you want? I want three. Three?

Yeah. 600 credits. All right. Do you want to deliver them to old drills? Would that be okay? Does that? I could do that too. That works for you?

Yeah, we'll do that. All right. We'll see you with old drills. Right. What is your name? My name? Yeah. Milton.

Milton. All right, Milton. Milton, I'm kind of struggling because now I'm kind of thinking I could maybe ask Old Drill to do this, and maybe he wouldn't charge us so steep a cost. Okay. So I want to dock you down to 400. You're making up. 400 for four?

No, for three. Oh, you wanted three, four. Instead of 600. I'm trying to shave 200 credits off of that. All right. And I'm saying it because I got a feeling if I go to Old Drill, he'll do it for free. But you got a chance to either make 100 credits or not. We will help you out in the future if you do this for us.

All right. I choose to make 100 credits. 400 gold for three greater healing potions. Smart dwarf. I actually don't. I don't know. Greater healing potions, usually 100 goals. I have no idea.

I have no good. According to the NADPOD official DMT. Wow. Really? And we got 4,000 credits. I'm not worried. We have, yeah, you're right. I'm still happy to shave a little.

We got to buy stuff for the youth team. You know what? In Zone 1, we have a saying, for Greed about it. Okay, yeah. Keep your head up because some of the lower level goons, you know, we'll just try to attack you and take your augmentations.

All right, Milton. Okay. Milton, Bradley. It's been a pleasure. Yeah. So I'm supposed to be on guard duty. I'll probably, honestly, I'm probably only going to make like 80 credits off this because I'm just probably going to pay someone else

to go get the stuff and then bring it to you guys. That's fine. As long as it gets dropped off, I'm good. Okay. Yeah. Hey, didn't see you. Didn't see you. Nice to not meet you. Nice to not meet you. All right.

Sweet. We'll cruise on down to the southern side. Great. So you guys get into Zone 5 proper. You see it's grungier in a more familiar way. There's sort of a low-level fog and dust from the nearby mines. You do see, though, there's a glistening cave river that flows out of some of the nearby tunnels and comes together to form a little pond in the town square.

You see short bridges lead over the water into different areas of town. There are homes piled on top of each other with thin alleys between them. You see screens and signs in the town square for like various local businesses and also some mothership products. You see there are a few like tufts staggering about probably after a night of heavy drinking. Do you guys, how do you guys want to proceed? I think we stelt. Yeah, we've been diplomatic so far, so we don't want to do anything too crazy.

Let's steal. Go ahead and give me stealth checks. 19. Cool. 30, 20. Sick. Sorry, guys. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Actually, you might fit any of you, though. Yeah, you're okay with the three of you. It's basically two of you have to pass. Most of you have to pass. Do you add plus 11 to that. There you go.

Yeah. Right. So I look like a trash can that fell over. There you go. Okay. So you got. start making your way through the alleys of like the neighborhoods here, going towards Old Drills' house? And you guys, I would say, have probably been to Old Drills place, like back in the day with Elmer.

Okay. Do you remember when we played paintball against the hammer and circuits, guys? Yeah, you shot me right between the armor. Right in my throat. And I refused to wear armor. Yeah. Yes, I was testing you, Ox, to make sure that your armor was perfect. Yeah, and it wasn't.

You showed me the weakness, and that was how you lost you two. Which one? The back mola. Yeah, yeah, because I bit down super hard. I put rocks in my gun. On a paintball. Yeah, you tried to catch a paintball with you. Tried, I bid.

It's your shatter-a-mola. So you guys see, as you're making a way through these alleys, with your stealth checks, you're good enough to sneak past. You do see that there are some gaggles of goons, like, waiting to, like, attack maybe higher-ranking members on their way home to, like, steal their augmentation. or something from them or steal money from them. Disrespectful.

Yeah. This gang is in this array. Yeah. The young cops are going after the old studs. We gotta talk to Old Drill. He's got problems here. Yeah. So you guys find Old Drill's address that Specter had sent you.

You open a little gate and you walk up some stairs to a second floor like deeper inside and see a wooden door with like iron bands on it. I think that's that's the door. Yeah. Yeah, not politely. Did Oldryl ever have like a saying or something that he would recognize a spy or like just like something he would say? The devil you know, right? The devil you know.

Yeah, okay. So you knock and you say the devil you know. And you see, Oldryl does not answer but two gruff cybernetic dwarves answer. You recognize them immediately. You see one guy opens the door and the other guy's just standing next to him mirroring him. These guys are the Van Hammer brothers. They're identical twins. both with cybernetically enhanced metal arms and giant hammers.

One has a red visor that is over his left eye, and one has a blue one that covers his right. They just look at you and kind of grunt. What's up, boys? Has it been? How's it been? Bringing your trouble here. Listen, we're all in trouble.

Things are tense. Yeah, and there's about to be more. We got to talk to Old Drill. Yes. Yeah, we saw. your leader partying with mothership probably why so much

mothership tech seems to be floating around your zone. Go ahead and give me an insight check. All of us? Yeah. Oh, just that seven. 18. 18 also. Whoa.

You guys see the Van Hammer Brothers. As you say that, that young blunder was there, they give each other like a quick little look. And as if, I'll say, within 18, what you read into that is that they're not surprised and are maybe a little mad that you know that. He was there. Okay. All right. We clocked that. These guys take you in up another

set of stairs and you guys go up to the third floor. Van Hammer Brothers open the door, close it behind you. Oh, I don't like that. And inside, you are now in old Drills apartment. You see this older dwarf, long white beard, pretty skinny. He's got like a newsman. nose boy cap on, lost a few pounds of muscle in his old age, just, you know, seeing an old warrior, seeing like an old athlete that, um, has slowed down a bit. But there are reminders of the fierceness of his youth. You see, uh, on his right arm, he's got this like rotating machine that can like change it to be like different uses.

So you see like changes it to like a metal hand and goes, oh, come in, come in, kids. What have you guys gotten yourselves into? It's bad out there. Uncle Drilly. Give me a hug. Adam, look at you. I mean, you're a robot, so you look exactly the same, but it's so good to you.

I don't know. Check out. Hey, Uncle Drilly. I look the same, except for this, and I point to my little like conquest marks for all the people I've slept with. This guy's out here having sex. That's good for you. Uncle Drilly, did you see

the kill screens won yet and out of jam? I did see that. Congratulations. Hey, my hair hammering circuits I hear they got a pretty good cyber skits team themselves. I'll have to see someday. Someday maybe I'll make it out to a game. That'll be a humdinger. Like the old times.

Just like the old times. Uncle Julie, I got to ask about these Van Hammer brothers. Do you ask them to watch you like this? I'm trying to read if they're looking out for you or they're keeping an eye on you. Do you feel safe with them? No. You don't. He pulls you in.

Oh, I don't feel very safe for the time. Let's talk super quietly. Okay. I think we're probably listening. Yeah. Okay. Hold on. We're not going to kill them right now.

Like, are you? Let's wait until your healing potion is getting in. Yeah, we got some healing potions that are going to get delivered. Did you want anything? I think there's a Burger King nearby. Well, no, we don't need to go to Burger King. I can add something to the Nora. We did double dash it.

We're not. Hey. You see, he's like, real old school. I'll make you a burger, okay? We got all the stuff here. You had anything to get my healing started so that we can actually take care of them now because I have a feeling they're going to steal my healing potion if we don't. I think I do.

You do? All I got is I'm going to jack something into your back and cast heroism on you. It's going to give you a temp HP. Oh, nice. Okay. Okay, so politically it might not be super popular if I house you guys and then murder their Van Hammer. Okay, actually, okay, take it. On Jack, on Jack.

Say that for me. Hey, if you, like, again, I don't really trust them very much. They're watching me because everybody lacks old Uncle Drill. And you're a flint buster, old blunderbuss herself. I miss her every day. One mistake she made was having. boy be the new leader of our gang. It should have been you, Uncle Turley.

Oh, thanks for saying. How did that shake out? If you don't mind me prying into potentially a sensitive moment in your life. How did it shake out? Yeah, I didn't shake out that it went to him and not you. Um, well, uh, basically his mom said I was too old and that it's her son and she loves him more than me. Forgive me. I was projecting fantasy stories of succession gone wrong. Oh, no. I have very little.

I had some political power. I think people like Uncle Drill. We love you. People like Uncle Drill. We love Uncle Drill. She, the only problem here is there. Uncle Drill gives the best present at the white elephant and everyone's fighting for it. Everybody's trying to steal it. Look, I got something out of help you heal up. He gave me this soft blunderbuss when I was 11. Oh, yeah, here you go.

I talked to have to... Normally, you have to wait until you're 12. Yeah, that's right. You shoot at the rats, okay? You don't shoot at your friends. All right. I'm going to make everybody hot hamburgers. Okay, yeah.

Can you make mine without the bun so I can put it in my dollar bill slot? Absolutely. Thank you. Okay. Can you make mine my way like they do a bug again? I'm going to make your spurt. I'm going to make all of them. Okay?

I'll give bright onions. on top. They're not going to I don't have many vegetables in my house. I don't have any vegetables in my house.

I'm going to have a gag group likes if I don't get fried onions. Rover, get the cooler. Why don't you guys you know what? Rova.

Why don't we have it? Peep, beep, beep. Why don't we have onions in there? He's got, it's just if it doesn't taste exactly how I want it to I have a gag group likes.

There's a crisca. He's got a crisper. Rover has onions. Rover starts making onions. He's a Yeti. He's a jetty. I just need things to taste exactly how I want them to.

While this is going on, I'm going to cast a minor illusion because it says I can create a sound, the volume ranging from a whisper to a scream. So I'm just going to put on some screamo music so that the brothers can hear us. Oh, great. Okay. I don't even know it's an illusion.

I'm just like, nice tunes, dude. Nice tunes. This scares me whatever it is. I don't know. Okay, well. Demons in my sleep. Oh, that's scary stuff. Yeah, so basically,

the new boss has me being watched by the Van Hammer brothers because everybody loves Uncle Drill, and if anything bad happens to Uncle Drill, the old guys are going to be upset. Some of the young guys, too, yeah. A tenuous peace by just keeping you alive. Yeah, but you know what? Forget about me.

He clears off. His place is a fucking mess. There's just stuff everywhere. He has so many magazines. Slug does not clock this. It's honestly not that different from the arcade. You see lights pouring in from the outside, but he goes in and he closes the curtains. You see moves a mess from a liquor cart, starts pouring drinks, clears off a little coffee table.

Scotch or? Yeah, both. Whatever you got. Okay. Yeah, okay, got a little bit of everything. Scotch and seven. Sotter fountain special. Scotch and whiskey.

Pain killer for me. Okay. Pain killer. Just one slug at everything. Burban. Uncle Drilly. Funny. Funny as ever.

Okay. So what have you guys gotten yourself into? I've seen you all in a while. I think this extends beyond just the kill screens. I'm going to maybe go to the window and just like peek out the curtain just to keep an eye on what's going out in like the town square. But I also want to be like, expect that how much can we let Uncle Drilly in on what's going on? I mean, Uncle Drills as solid as they come. Okay, so we're going to tell them what we found.

We're going to unload then. We're going to tell everything? Yeah. Okay, all right. I come back. Yeah. If anyone knows how to destroy this chip or get it somewhere safe, it might be the dwarves. They're used to handling rare metals. Okay, yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Wow. All right. Well, I imagine mothership's going to come looking for that, but maybe if we can get this chip back to Specter, maybe if me and Specter were to take a look at it together with you, Ox, maybe we can figure out a way to get rid of it.

Yeah. Or maybe even, yeah, you see Spector weighs in, and Specter's like, we might need to, like, investigate it and find a way to, like, reverse engineer it. Sorry, sorry, can you say that again? I put my earpiece on speaker. Sorry, yeah. Hi, everyone.

Oh, how... Respecter. Hi. Hang on, I'll turn down the music. It's really loud. It's me, Uncle Trilly. Yeah, just want to make your Uncle Trilly. Okay, yeah.

Claws in my back while I'm trying to sleep. All right, you guys are doing this. You guys are doing the annoying speakerphone thing, for sure. Yeah, you see, she goes, if you destroy the chip, it's possible that they might be able to recreate it. They might have the tech. But if you can get it to me, I might be able to come up with a security patch to fight it. Yeah, because this is kind of like a zero-day export, right? And so if you're able to kind of figure out what it's exploiting,

you can prevent everything from, you can safeguard everything from us. Exactly. Exactly, Slug. That's precisely correct. Okay. Wow. Right answer. This feels like in the old stories

when there would be a cursed item that you would need to destroy. Seems like a cursed sword or something, but with computers. Yeah, but don't always project the old stories because here I was trying to think Uncle Drizie got preempted with conspiracy. You're drunk.

Slugs, you're drunk. Oh, Slug. You're tired. You're drunk. a shot at everything and doesn't like gap in it and this hitting me out. She's on a lot of drugs right now. I don't finish my sentence.

I just pass out. Okay. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. Drizzy, she passed out. It's not my name. It's not my name. I thought it was a nickname on the nickname.

Anyway, Sir Elmer would tell us stories from the age of heroes about cursed items, and maybe this feels like our quest in a way to remove this curse. We've got to get it from zone we're in zone five. Yeah, you've got to get back to zone one. Well, you're free to rest up and speaking to Sir Elmer, I'm so sorry

about your loss. I wasn't, we haven't, you know, seen each other in a while. It's okay. If you like, we could all go into your bathroom and flush the toilet in remembrance. Yeah, we can do that. I also have something that, uh, he had left here last time we were

talking he and I. You do? Yeah. He was, I'm surprised you guys aren't out of here. He was talking about buying an airship. Airship. What? What?

They're going like a vacation or something? I thought, I assumed you guys all knew this. You see old Drilly goes over and he starts looking through his papers. And as he's looking through his papers, he's talking and he's like, yeah, Elmer was talking about selling the arcade. No. He didn't want this life for, for you. you guys. He was talking about buying an airship and he showed me, he showed me this. And you see

he reaches in and he finds it to you guys and you see there is an ad that looks like he was maybe delivered to the arcade. It is for an airship. Airship is for 20,000 credits. You see it's an old cargo ship from Esri. It lists that it can hold up to 30 passengers, including 10 crew. There are little notes on it where Elmer. has marked it up. You see an arrow at the wheel that says ox on it. You see up at the crow's nest, it says Adam. You see there's like a grappling hook area with cannons and there are multiple arrows pointing that's a slug. He knows that I need so much stimulation. You also see other names of crew members from Zone 1 of the kill screens. And you guys also see at the bottom

there is a watermark from who is selling this airship. Oh, who is selling it? And it is underground Ironworks Coalition. They lured him in. What? This is how I got it. They sold him a dream and they... They trapped him.

So this was the deal that went wrong and took his life? His deal was to get us out. They trapped him with his hopes. Whoever did this is going to really get it. Uncle Drilly, I got asked, do you know who underground ironworks coalition is? I've never heard. I don't know anything about that. These are the motherfuckers that killed him.

You think? I think I know, which I guess means I think, but I feel I can know. So you guys stand there with Uncle Drill. Looking at this piece of paper, Elmer had disappeared under suspicious circumstances, and now you see that maybe he was trying to surprise you guys or didn't want you guys to try to talk him out of trying to sell the arcade. But he had gone to do some kind of business dealing

and then was attacked and never came back. This might have been the lore. Does this mean that the arcade has been sold, though? No, I don't think you ever did the deal. No. Okay. Just making sure that they didn't get him to sell it and then kill them, in which case the arcade is already.

I mean, either way, they're dead so. Even if they sold it, we're going to get everything. We're going to take it all away from them if they think they own anything. Yeah. You guys suddenly hear alerts start going off. Oh, bring it on. Alerts, like, coming from, like, your augmentations and things like that. You see that old drill, like any old person has, like, 10 TVs on in his.

You see, just, like, always flashing the news. Down to 10, huh? Getting conservative in your old age? Yeah, just don't have your attention span anymore. But you see all of the TVs automatically turn to the Mothership News Network. Oh, no. Here it comes. You might see us on the TV, Uncle Trill.

Try to be proud. We're famous. You know us when. All of the TVs turn to Mothership News Network, and you guys see your pictures flashing across the green. And that's where we'll run our session. They had to use one where I'm blinking. You need to get better at Photoshop.

My arms look so small in that. I know there's a better angle. Yeah, they photoshopped you guys AI to make you guys look worse. You guys all have extra fingers. Oh, no. Skinny or and uglier. They made my shirt look dumb. It's the same shirt.

Sweet. So you can listen to us, talk about this on the after show The Short Rest. that's patreon.com slash NADD-D-P-O-D don't sing yet to listen to our after show anyone else have anything that I'd like to plug? Okay, sweet. In which case, you can just follow us on social media

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