Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 8: Panic! at the Big Top

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

The Kill Screens go undercover at Blackfire Carnival's Big Top club. Aux embodies a lion tamer, Atom faces temptation, and Slug simps. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford"Atom" by Emily Axford"Aux" by Emily Axford"Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford"Slug" by Emily Axford"Soul Coins" by Emily Axford"Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford"The Arcade" by Emily Axford"A Friend for Life" by Emily Axford"At the Last Minute, a First" by Emily Axford"Sick Twisted Romance" by Emily Axford"Dolores the Puppet" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahamia, everybody. Bahamia. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Needing that waterbed because I am almost dead. Opsokana.

Yeah, almost mauled to death by a lion at a fair. Should not be here. At a county fair, yeah. It's just your response. Yeah, I love you guys just bleeding out and forgetting that you were bleeding out. I guess I could have probably reminded you. Trying to, like, give someone a safe space to walk away from an addiction while we're actively, like, bleeding out. So funny to wander into a circus half dead.

Yeah. Just start playing carnival games. And then, of course, we've got Emily Axford. Losing my money to my Cherry Ruby Honey. I'm sorry to slap that. Jerry Ruby Honey is her sister. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, she's my cherry ruby.

Put the same first name. Cherry Ruby is hyphenated. Oh, got you. There's a lot of lore to Cherry Ruby Juby. Cherry Ruby. It's well thought out. I'll be playing Cherry Ruby Jubilee in a future campaign, or if I die in this one. As you should, yeah.

How is she so smooth? And then, of course, we've got Caudill Tanner. Cool bot who can do no wronggle. If you play your cards right, he'll show you his dongle. Wow. Can do no wrong goal. You see the don't. if you play the cards wrong too.

I really do like picturing it just like a dog. Yeah. It just comes out of a sheath. It's kind of like that crazy frog, you know, the little like CGI frog. Yeah. And like his dick was just exposed for some reason. That's tough.

Can I also point out that we like kind of were waiting on Caldwell to start recording because he was furiously scribbling at a note card and that was to come up with Wrangel. Like that took time. Why you got to do this? Give me one minute. I think it's beautiful. I think that, you know, he's kind of the T.S. Eliot of intro line.

With less footnotes. Actually, no, but there is, like, there are footnotes necessary for a lot of them. I would say there are kind of footnotes in there, yeah. And I want you to picture the way I've written it on the page is in the shape of the dongle. So it's very evocative, yeah. We all have notes, Murph. We're all prepared. All right.

Speaking of notes, let's go ahead and do a little recap. Yes. So last time, you blended in with the goth clowns of Zone 4 by donning disguises and resisting the urge to make out with holograms as you made your way. So hard. So hard. That really is a future problem. Yeah, for sure.

You played some carnival games to try to win some tech, getting especially roped in by the ring toss. The carnival barker leveled with you that the game was rigged and that he wanted to be a pilot, unfortunately endearing himself to eat. This led to a slip up where you mentioned that you were from the arcade in Zone 1. leading to all the Blackfire Carnival gang members nearby attacking you. So well-intentioned. So it's honestly so well-intentioned. Yeah, you're trying to save him.

Guys, are we gullible? I think we're mocks. Yeah, you can't save every carnival marker. Slug managed to grab one of the prizes, an extra slot for a chip. Ocks narrowly avoided being mauled by a mechanical lion. I have a better, ever better response for guys, are we gullible? Okay, guys, are we gullible? I believe it.

Oh my God. Merth just divorced me. He had the papers ready. She's freaking single now. And Adam bubbled the barker so that he couldn't attack. You retreated into the crowd and split up, all three of you barely making it out of the encounter with your lives. You met back up outside Eddie's old house, snuck past the blackfire clowns and acrobatts that were patrolling nearby and happened upon a sad scene. cartons of mothership gruel fuel meal replacement shakes and a severely malnourished Eddie passed out on the couch with a VR set on.

You sweetly made him some spaghetti and woke him from his trance and he was pumped to see you but cagey about going into his old room. You eventually convinced him and you found old Polaroids of his friends from the Redd Tripp who had been killed. Eddie revealed that he wanted to make a deal with Blackfire and mothership to ensure everyone was safe, but his friends had refused. On his own now, Eddie took the deal to numb himself. Eventually, he agreed to go out and get some intel for you. Before he could, though, you guys started playing a card game, and Eddie joined in for some wholesome fun, and that's where we are now. So we cut to you guys mid-laff.

No, that's one crazy eight. Yeah, I know. This one is the craziest of them all. That's like the craziest story, any of the guys have ever told. So you guys finish up your card game after a couple hours. Eddie slides his chair back and slaps his hands together and goes, all right, I really, I should probably get going.

Yeah. You guys go ahead and get some rest because you're just kind of, as I'm coming back from my trance, now I'm seeing you guys are kind of bleeding out all over my house. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so sorry about that. You got a Roomba? Oh, no.

Yeah, I do have a Roomba. Don't pull out the Roomba because Adam's just going to try to fuck it. Oh, yeah. Adam needs the rest. We can't dangle something. Dyson in front of it. What's his name? You see a super hot Rumba comes out. It has a cowboy hat on. Please, please, we're very tired. We're sleeping on the couch now, Fox. Oh, come on. So you guys get some rest. Try not to fuck too many appliances or whatever, you know. No promises. The clowns outside aren't

super used to seeing me go out, but I'll be able to make up an excuse, but you guys should just be careful in case they come sniffing around. Oh, how much money do you need? Because we need a a couple greater healings. You guys remember greater healings being about 200 credits a pop. There's also 600 credits for tech if you guys wanted any feats or anything. And there's $1,200 for a chip for an extra chip. You mean an extra slot? Extra slot, yeah.

Slot chip would be nice. Oh, that's good because I was going to suggest we played Crazy Aids to see who won the extra slot I, Pilford. Oh, I mean, I think we should still do that. So we could just get you guys both a slots as well. Right, but let's play for this one first, and then we'll buy slots afterwards. Everyone, roll a D8. Yeah, how are we playing crazy eight with guys?

Five. I got a name. Okay. I got a five, too. Adam wins. Eight's the craziest. It's the only eight. It's the eight is the craziest. That's because they're two five.

Absolutely insane. It looks like a pair of boobs or an ass. All right, so Adam wins the, he's so horny. The add-on here. So Adam, you have an extra chip that you can put in tonight. Okay. What are you thinking, Fox?

Are you angling or maybe buy yourself an extra chip? I'm thinking of it. Yeah, I mean, I'd toss it for an extra slot for sure. Okay, so two extra slots. Okay, that's $2,400 and you guys want any potions or anything? I kind of think we do four greater healing. Sounds good. Yeah, okay.

Let's burn it all. So, 800. So you guys are spending $3,200 credits. $3,200. I mean, we're spending it. at all, but we're investing in ourselves. That's right. We're investing in surviving. Yeah. Yeah.

It seems like a lot of people are after you guys, so like potions are good to you. I almost got killed by a lion, Eddie. Yeah, that makes sense. They got those around here. It's weird. It's crazy. It's absolutely nuts. That's crazy eight. One time I got fucking wasted with these lions

back in the day, dude. It was sick, dude. It was insane. What happened to them? Oh, man. We were at the, we We all had these fucking, like, giant balls that we were, like, spinning on top of, right? But then we got so drunk that we actually got better at standing on top of the ball. So there I am with this fucking lion, right? And this lion's wasted, even though it's a fucking robot or something, I think.

So there's, like, gasoline or something in, like, the, in, like, the fucking beer. So I'm drunk as fuck. This fucking lion is drunk as fuck. We're walking around on top of these fucking balls, and we're fucking good as hell at it. We walk into this bar, and they're, like, in this bar. like no balls and I'm like no balls dude and I fucking grab my dick. Nobody tells a story like Eddie. Oh Eddie you're back.

It's kind of like there wasn't really a story in there but the way it was told it felt like there was vivid. It was vivid. Okay. Unreal. All right. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to go get you guys stuff.

I'm going to see if I can get you any info and how to get you out of zone four. Thank you. Are you both good with forking over 3200 credits? I personally am, but I never been good with money. That leaves us with $1,200. God, we're still rich. We're still flush. We're rich.

Okay. That's whatever. Eddie takes the credits and goes and heads out. You guys have some time now. You may sleep in Eddie's waterbed. You also have time to upgrade your tech. Now is the time. There's one other thing I want to try and do if that's okay.

Sure. Can I use Eddie's computer? Yeah, certainly. I want to try and find a map of Bohumia. for slugs using my navigators kit. Oh, sick. You see that. Yeah, go ahead and like I said, I think

in like episode one or two, this is kind of like proto-internet so there's like message boards and stuff like that. It's DARPA net. Give me a tech-arcana check. We'll say this will be pretty easy. We'll say like DC-8. Okay. To find a map of Bohumia here. Can I use my lucky to re-roll that? As you know, I'm out of luckies. I haven't slept. I got a net one. Okay.

You get a virus on Eddie's computer. Oh. You just click on a malicious link that asks for your information. It says, like, we will mail you a map and you put in your information and you have been a little bit hacked. And you start getting ads sent to your brain. Adam got an STD. This happens from time to time.

Yeah, we just got to take you to a clinic. We saw you've been in the vicinity of some mothership fuel gruel. That must make you hungry for gruel fuel, huh? I'm thinking we should get some gruel fuel. It's gruel fuel, yeah Or fuel gruel, new updated formula It changed the name based on what you thought I don't know why, but I'm thinking Arby's

Okay, okay Arby's also been bought by my mother ship We have the meat Okay, Adam, you gotta try and sleep this off, okay? Yeah No, it's fine, I feel good You can sleep off malware, I think Just give me your social security numbers

and I'll go right to bed. Okay, I'm going to rest. I'm going to wrestle Adam in the bed. Sweet. No, I feel better than I've ever felt. Sweet, yeah. Is there anything you guys want to upgrade through the night? Yeah.

Yeah. And I'll say you guys can prepare. Eddie will be able to get the extra chip. You guys can prepare your extra slot instead of waiting a whole other day. You guys basically have it ready to go. Awesome. I think OX before bed is going to, like, crouch down in a quarter near, like, all of Eddie's outlets and just kind of like tank.

with his cyberdeck plugging in different ports. I'm going to remove the Warcaster feet. That makes sense. And swap it out with a jet, which I think Young Blunder had. Yeah, that is flame jets. Recharges on a five or a six. The creature spews flames and a line 100 feet long and five feet wide. Oh, that's so long.

Each creature in the line must make a DC-16 dexterity saving throw, taking 48 fire damage on a failed saver, half as much on a successful one. So good flame thrower. So Ox is like near a surge protector trying like plugging different things into his arms. He's like, I don't think this is working. And then just a huge ball of flame. And it wraps in the corner. Oh, all right, all right.

And I pat it out of the curtains. Sounds like you need new mothership, hard water. Okay. You got to go to sleep. I unplug. I got to unplug you. Plug your back in. Put your dongle back in.

It's water, but you can hold it in your hands. I think I'm going to. to go ahead add this extra slot and I got the rocket I got but I'm also looking at this magnetic hammer. Yeah. I'm just thinking that sounds fun. Yeah. So the magnetic weapon is off the hammer bros. Recharges on a six so you probably only get to use it once per combat unless you get really lucky. Your weapon has the throne property returns to you and it can hit two targets with the same attack. So you can like fling it out like a boomerang. Yeah, so I'm going to do that with my hockey stick.

Hell yeah. Yeah, you attach some stuff to your hockey stick, and you add, like, a thing to your bracer that makes it fling back to it. Oh, I'm just going to practice that. I'm taking out all the decor. Actually, a hockey stick flying around in this messy room is probably accidentally sweeping some stuff off. Sure, sweeps up some of the cartons. Yeah.

Because this Roomba's not doing anything. Destroys Eddie's computer, but Eddie's computer was already destroyed. Yeah, that'll get Adam. off the hook anyway. Adam chugs some robotussin, literal robotussing. Nice. It starts feeling a little better.

Great. And I'm going to attach the drill arm to myself. Sick. Would you allow me to use it kind of like Uncle Drilly did as well where I can drill through the floor or like drill through a wall?

Yeah, I would allow you to potentially burrow with it. Yeah, he's like an action to burrow. So maybe like we do your speed as a burrow. I think that works. All right, awesome. Yeah, I take that so I can go full Big Daddy moment. and also just to kind of honor Uncle Drilly and everything he's done for us.

Sweet. Yeah, so that's a melee weapon attack, strength plus proficiency to hit. It's hit is 2D8 plus strength piercing damage plus DC13 deck saving throw or be knocked prone. Recharges on a 5 or 6,

so you can't use it every single turn, but pretty damn good one of your attacks. Shit, man, it looked like a World of Warcraft UI. I got so many freaking cool downs over here. So you guys get into the waterbed. He's got all these, like, fairy lights and stuff.

You pierced it with your drill. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. The waterbed has completely deflated. All the water has gone out onto his floor. Sorry, guys. The waterbed flirted with me. Whoa, I didn't even know who was sentient.

It wasn't. I was misreading some things. It happens. It happens. Yeah, I think let's conk out because I'm at one hit point. It happened for a minute. And that hit point was hard to come by, too. Night guys.

Good night. Yeah, good night. Hey, tomorrow's going to be a good day. I got a good feeling about tomorrow. Hey, Slug. Yeah? Today was a good day. Yeah.

I think back. I picture all the things we did, and I'm like, you're right. Today was a good day. We got shot at a lot. But it was fun. Yeah. And Slug falls asleep, smiling. You guys all fall asleep after your quote unquote great day

Where Adam hid in a dumpster and Slug almost died OX was mauled by the line One for the books It's definitely one for the books And the next morning or like late morning Like into afternoon You wake up to the sound of the door opening And the smell of coffee

And Eddie comes up with a huge carrier of them And he hands them out You see he has a huge ice coffee for himself and is drinking it and pacing around. And he goes like, okay, I might know a way for you guys to get out. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, spill. Yeah, okay. So I already knew this, but the Blackfire's main club is the big top, okay?

It looks like this big circus tent. Apparently, and this is new, James from the South Avenue, Jimmy's, doesn't like his guys partying in Zone 4. but Thin Jim has cut a side deal with the carnival. And you guys know Thin Jim is the guy that you ran into at the party who is like yelling at the bartender. He's the lieutenant that James does not get along with. He runs the bar with all the screens displaying. Exactly. Like the crypto.

Yeah, that one, the crypto bar and grill. So there is a secret passage at the big top that goes straight to Thin Jim's crypto bar and grill in Zone 3. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. A shortcut. There's a shortcut. So I don't know exactly where it is. Okay.

But if you see any of the jimmies at the big top, that's probably how they got there. Okay. Okay. That's great intel. Thank you so much. Well, how was it revisiting all your old friends? Eddie kind of like straightens up a little bit and he looks good. And this is the kind of tough thing.

You see that he's really coming back to life here. But part of that is the, this distraction of like he gets to be on now. No, I was going to say like seeing him chug coffee, I'm like, oh, kind of trade in one stimulation for another. I've been there. I'm still there. Yeah.

And hell, coffee's a hell of a lot better than sitting there with AI all day. But like you can tell that his spirits are way up from having like a distraction. Yeah. Or is it having a distraction or is it having poipus? It's both. It's both. It's a good thing. but the problem isn't solved if that makes sense.

Or quite, but not fit in the water bed. Yes. So you see, he looks pretty heartened and he goes like, I kind of couldn't believe it. There's still like a bunch of people that still like kind of believe in the red trip.

Just like loyal guys. And then there's a bunch of folks who've been like screwed over by Blackfire. I don't know that I can, you know, go into the big top with you guys. You know, like guns of black fire. in right now, but I think if I keep going around and talking to people, I might be able to get

something going here, maybe help you guys down the line. I know, I bet mothership's going to come rolling through here at some point, and we might be able to put together a crew to like slow them down at least. Now we're talking. Did you see any of the things on a wall? Eddie lives. Oh, that, I mean, that must have brought some blood to your cheeks. Pretty cool, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, too, because it is, like, kind of an inside joke because it says, like, Eddie lives, and it's because, like, people think that I'm dead, but also, like, back in the day,

you guys remember, we had the saying that's like, Eddie lives! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, like, we would say that because we lived hard, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was sweet. And I tell you guys the carnival ball story. We were walking on carnival balls with the lion. You did mention that. Yeah, and you grabbed your, you grabbed your penis.

Yeah, that's. Right on, right on. I remember that time you fell through the grand piano and it broke in half and then you stood up and said, Eddie lives and then you grabbed your cross. That'll happen. That'll for sure happen. Eddie, I have a question for you. Yeah, for sure.

Do you have a list of faithful contacts in the city, people that you trust? I do have people that I trust. They're not going to be at the big top and I wouldn't recommend you guys walking around anymore and chatting with people. here that there was a riot at the carnival. We were too trusting. Somebody leveled with us and then we leveled with them and we shouldn't have been

on a level at all. And they tried to level us. And then it sort of leveled our cover, if you will. And that's you guys being open, you know what I mean? That's you guys living. Right. It's kind of our superpower. Yeah. But also our weakness. Okay. So you, so yeah, so it sounds like Eddie, you're going to circle up with your

trusted allies and we'll get out of here. I think as you guys are making your way back to Zone 1, like I said, I think sooner or later mothership's gonna come calling. And I think the more people you have between you and them, the better. I think that's probably the best way that I can be of help. Yes. And I'm gonna be of help for that, like 24 hours a day.

Okay, but you should actually rest though because you've been quote unquote resting via. Come on! I'm living! Yeah, I'm living. Okay. Okay. All right. You're allowed to sleep though. Yeah, you are allowed to sleep. Sleeping actually helps living. That said, we broke your bed. Yeah, yeah. That thing is, okay, yeah, so we're thinking about going back in there.

So we'll go back. It sunk. I'll go back on the couch right on. Okay. I do have a question, though. So we're trying to go to a big top. I'm thinking we need another disguise. You see puts up a finger and then pulls out a bag.

You see it's got like the Blackfire Carnival logo on it, this big black, big top tent. And he pulls out these gimmicky looking. like necklace things that advertise be your fantasy. Oh. Where you can change your appearance with an alter self for one hour. Whoa. And he goes, these will disguise you, but it'll only change your appearance for about an hour. So once you're out of the club, you're going to be exposed again, but that's a problem

to deal with once you get to Zone 3. Could I be Cherry Ruby Jubilee? Slug doesn't say yes or no. She just looks simply at you. Simply. Yeah. You see Eddie looks at slug and then looks at ox and goes like, maybe a bad idea. Gotcha.

Yeah. R rethink that oxford. Yeah, but I keep that one in the back of your pocket. Forget I said it. Yeah. Hands out the necklaces. Let's link up. You guys can message me whenever you need to.

I can message you. whenever, and I'll try to meet up with my guys and try to get something going out here. Eddie, is there anything you want us to tell Specta when we talk to it? I think if I gave her a message through you, she'd just get mad, which makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So my answer is no. Okay. Gotcha.

All right. All right. And any communications you do, maybe just don't do it on your computer. Okay. Oh, because of like all the mothership stuff. that's on there and everything. You don't want them like tracing me and all that. It's already been compromised.

They didn't get compromised. It's being compromised. Okay. All right. Yeah. It's always been that way. I think maybe it has. Right.

Wow. This thing is, yeah, wow. I must not have cleared my cash in a while. That's probably it. Yeah, there's cookies like, wow. Yeah, so you just got to clear my little cookies. The way to organize right now. Maybe just factory reset.

Right. All right. Well, good luck, guys. Thank you, Eddie. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. No, hey, thank you. Hey, thank you.

Hey, hey. Hey, fucking listen to me. I said thank you. You listen to me. Thank you. Thank you. Break it up. Break it up.

Break it up, you two. I have them in a head, love. All right. Ocks, I tripped over all your cords. Those were my chords. You see Eddie has, he has his way about himself where, you know, like, back in the day, sort of the, the Red Trips dynamic was basically like, Tazzy and Billy were, like,

kind of like the fighters, a little bit more of, like, hotheads. Spector was kind of like the brains slash, like, the introvert that was, like, adopted by extroverts. Yeah. And then Eddie was the one that was, like, very, like, gregarious. And it would be like, if, yeah, the face. Yeah, the face. And not just that, but like, if there was like a bar fight that was about to happen,

he would just like buy everyone a drink and be best friends with the person anyway. So he has this like, he has this just like way of making people feel seen and stuff. And you see like as he goes, he just like goes over individually to each one of you and like has his hand on each of your shoulders. It's really amazing what you're doing. That's awesome. Wow. You're doing really cool stuff. Whoa.

Yeah. That's great. Hey, I'm proud of you. He's like, he just said. I said this to Adam and Oaks, but it feels like it's just for me. Yeah. You see, he winks at you, you think. And yet it feels like maybe he winked at everyone.

Wow. This is what spyware wishes it could do. Eddie lives. Eddie lives. And then he walks out. Nice. So, I mean, I think we got to go to the big top. I kind of think we should revisit the idea of you becoming Cherry Ruby, Juba.

Yeah, I don't know. I just was like thinking of people who live here. People who belong in any room that end. She did have that quality. Or at least the man piloting her was able to project that quality. Is it going to be a distraction if I'm, if I look like, you know, the lady who was kind of a succubite who did Findom on you?

You hear just like a beep come through on your channel. Inspector comes back online. Hi. don't do this, right? Slug cannot bring herself to say the word no. Spector obviously no, but we're trying to put it in a polite way. Okay, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it later.

What about slugs? What if you were Cherry Ruby Jubilee, because you should be your biggest fan. Wow. Oh, that's interesting. You should slurge on yourself. Yeah, and then I could sort of find a full-length mirror. Also, maybe a bad idea. I fixed it.

Hey. So I'm just wondering if we learned anything from the sort of fair yesterday. Yeah, I'm ready to, I'm ready to go out there and fuck up a lion. Okay, yeah. So this is just from like, again, I wasn't listening the whole time, but just from like the little bit of sounds of it, it sounds like this is sort of a combination of like yesterday with also the gala thing. This time, if you start a big fight, you can't really run. Yeah. Well, no.

This time you can't just, you need to get to this tunnel, right, to get to zone three. Right. So if this goes wrong, that's just it, right? You're just stuck. Yeah. And then eventually they're just going to kill you. We'll be so careful. We'll only reveal our identity to somebody if they seem pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah. We're not going to mention kill screens unless we meet someone that we just got to recruit. Right. And if we do see three giant circus balls, we will try to ride them. Sure, yeah. Okay, okay. You know what? Maybe I just, now I got someone on the brain.

I got to go as far as I possibly can. I'm going to maybe just dress like a circus performer. Maybe I'll dress like a clown mine. Cool? Yeah. A climb. You dress like a climb. Ox, you should dress as a lion tamer.

Oh, wow. Oh, that's so good. Conquering my fear. Yeah. All right. That's right. And what about you? Hmm, Dr. Rubber was so good.

Dr. Rubber was so good. I really think that you could. Dr. Rubber was outed as being Adam Rom. Oh, shit. Shit. Okay, but okay, but okay, but. Okay, okay, but what about. But, but what?

But it was called. What about Dr. Lou? Dr. Fox is wearing a leopard print jacket like Sigmund and Roy. Okay, I think I'm going to do, um, sort of a take on Big Rick, but like as a, uh, like a lasso guy, like a lasso performer.

Okay, cool. Adam is thinking more and more about like what big Rick means to him and there's this sort of like weird pastoral fantasy forming in him. And just the idea of like wearing a top hat and assless chaps and like doing rope plays like really speaking to him in the moment. So he's got like a neon rope that he's like flicking around right now. That's great. And I guess I'm just, I'm a black and white clown. Great. So I'm like juggling black and white balls. I'm making black and white balloons.

It looks like I'm in like a black and white pitcher. So graceful. Go ahead and do a performance check on the juggling. Okay. Shit, shout out to the two crew. You throw a ball through the window. I can't help but pitch it. I can't help but do a really good baseball pitch.

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Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring and I will see you later. Good. So you guys don your disguises. And I'll say you were able to sneak past them once you sneak past the clowns outside pretty easily. You guys down your disguises and head towards the big top, this big black tent in the center of the entertainment district with glowing lights that light the edges of the canvas. You guys kind of slept through like morning into late afternoon, got ready into the afternoon. And now it is night again. You see smoke from smoke machines and vape pours out as you join the throng of shady party gotts.

You see there's a carnival. hostess in a black bodice who's yelling, step right up, step right up, welcome to the Blackfire Carnival, a place where sex, drugs, and new metal rule. What was that last one? Oh my God, it's our three favorite things. Yeah, I know. This place is good. You see there's a bouncer that looks like Bain,

but with a gimp mask and a ball gag, just enormously jacked, waving people in or telling them to leave as they approach. Shit, I should have done that. instead of a mime. You will have to do a performance or a persuasion check to be allowed to enter. It's DC-14. You can do it as a group one if you'd like, but tell me what you do.

All right. You're dressed as a lion tamer. I'm dressed as a neon cowboy. Okay, I'm going to mime to be your lion. Oh. How about that? Because I can't do the juggling, but I can pretend to be a lion. So you start miming.

What does it mean to mime to be a lion? I get on my hands and knees yet again the second time and threw it. days. I guess what I want to put on a disguise, I just get on my hands and knees. And I'm, I'm miming roaring. And it's taken all my efforts not to actually roar. Okay. And ox is genuinely a little afraid of lions, so really jumps, but then calms himself. I guess I raised my hand and I beckon the lion forward. I'm wearing a sequin leopard print jacket. Great. Opened up with no shirt underneath. Like that black blonde hair, spray tan.

Great. So you're fully Roy style. Yeah. I flash a really white toothy green. And then I'm going to malle at him. And I fall backwards into the tent. I do. And what are you doing, Adam?

I am just framing this whole thing with lassoes. Whoa, making it look like a TV. Sick. Okay. So, yeah. So you throw up a lasso. It illuminates. the outside of this show question mark.

Yeah. This is like one of the... I'm making the ring for the performance. Like a three ring circus. So you guys can give me deception, persuasion, or performance, and you can do it with advantage.

Because it's such a fucking good idea. Who's got best? I've got a plus two. I got plus five. Me too. Why don't we do it with advantage? So why don't we just have slug roll one and we'll have Adam roll one

because those are the two highest. 21. 10. Okay. So it was... with advantage. So Slug's roll is the one that counts. So it's a 21. You see this guy, Bain, just starts clapping.

I slick my eye back and I say, I, my name's Panto. Hey, Panto, you really bit me. Some show. It really sold it because you bit him. This isn't stageblood, sir. The bouncer waves you guys in. You guys enter and the club looks very cool. first. You see this dance floor with glowing rave lights and tons of people dancing. On closer inspection, though, you see a lot of them are dancing with holograms or constructs

who are, like, changing their bodies based on who they're approaching. You also see that there's a lot of Pietro's and Carly Quinn's. Yeah. So a lot of like holograms of them dancing with people like kind of pretending to give them individual attention. This is so convenient. It makes me think of Sam Altman making everyone make fake videos of himself. I think. It's a conspiracy. They want them all to do holograms of Pietro and Carly Quinn because then no one knows where they actually

are. I see Troi. Wow. So it starts having an existential crisis. You see there is a band on stage that looks like a combination of ICP, Slipknot, Daft Punk, and Burlesque. They're playing industrial new metal dubstep.

There are panels, panels on the walls that flash images of just like random crowes. and graveyards. Sounds like a car along. But then there'll be just like random clips of like sex or like action movies. You say, see there are several fire jugglers.

And above you, you see the ceiling is impossibly tall with daredevils on tight ropes and trapeze except all the ropes are chains. Oh, I know something about that. Go ahead and give me perception checks. All right. Looking for jimmies?

Looking for jimmies. Oh, that's so good. That's an 18th. That is a 23. Okay. 12. So you guys, besides Adam, who I think is looking for robots have sex with, sees another big Rick on the dance floor.

And locks eyes. He does a lasso over at you to try to really win. He's wearing the winter catalog look. Fur-lined cowboy hat. Tips a white cowboy hat at you. They don't know why there's a catalog for cigarettes. Yeah. It's the ball line of smokes.

Usually it's like one advert in a catalog. This is all cigarettes. No, it makes sense, though. You like to get some of the winter spices in that mixed in there. They have a seasonal drag. Yeah, they do different flavor. I love your all-spice cigarettes. They do cranberry mint cigarettes for Christmas.

So, besides the dance floor, Christmas cigarettes. I love a gingerbread cigarette. You see, he is smoking a gingerbread cigarette. It looks awesome. It smells so fucking good. I know it's not the holidays, but I'm getting in the holiday spirit. Yeah, you see a bunch of there's a cigarette vending machine.

A bunch of people are buying Christmas cigarettes right now. I mean, it just takes me back to my childhood, right? Yeah. Guys, it's July. So you guys look around. You get a pretty good idea of how this place is laid out. The dance floor is kind of the center of a center of a. it all. So you're going to have to walk through it to get to other areas. You see a sign that says

the merry-go lounge that looks like a sort of bar area. And then you see an area for pleasure pods that looks like it's an area for people to hook up or in more likely they're there to hook up with AI. So you see those two areas in addition to the dance floor in order to get to those areas, you guys are going to have to navigate these very busy dance floors. And your alter selves do not hold up to being like touched or bumped. So people who are super close to you will be able to kind of detect what's going on. So we'll do encounter checks. And then much like last time when you guys like describes to me physically how you're

getting through the crowd, we can determine what kind of check you're doing to like get past them to this next area. So I will say with your immediate perception checks, you don't see any jimmies on the dance floor. Okay, okay. Can I just flag it's so dystopian that we can be. who we want to be, but the second someone tries to make physical connection with us, we return to ourselves.

Yeah. This is why the arcade is so much better. Yeah. Because you got a joystick in your hand. Wait, Fox. You're still you. X-Nay on the arcade stuff. Oh, yeah.

Okay, right, right. This is why the pleasure pods are so great. Because you can fuck a robot and nobody sees you. I love how artificial it is. You guys talking about the pleasure pods. Yeah, I love them. Just a clown rolls up to you guys.

I want to move into one. Yeah. Oh, hey, fellow clown. Yeah, I'd love to live in one. That'd be awesome. Yeah. Ten credits a minute, though. That's a lot of rent.

That's, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Luckily, they got credit cards here. Okay. Yeah. Wait, they have, you sign up. You can sign up for an application here.

In the pod? Sure, yeah. It's also a bank. It's also a bank. You put in you, you just put in your bank. They take it straight from it. from there. I was going to say that's crazy you can fuck your bank, but I know an ATM gets around.

It's a literal spank bang. Okay, okay. Yeah. Hey, uh, what kind of work you find in as a clown? Uh, you know, just, uh, I just attack people and take their stuff. All right. Yeah. Right.

Okay. So no birthday parties. Nah. Okay. Not unless I get like a bunch of stuff from people I killed, then it feels like a birthday. You know what I mean? See, Pam.

I'm going to go get my birthday. rocks off in a pleasure dome. Right on, dude, go come! Yeah. These dude, moon walks into the dance floor and then just starts dancing with a Carly Quinn and a... Okay, yeah, I kind of like that idea.

Let's go maybe... Oh, God, it feels so wrong, but I kind of think we should poke around and to see if any distinctive Jimmy shoes. I'm imagining the pleasure pods are like a photo booth and then we can see under a curtain. I thought you were the shoes. off.

They're shoes on the outside. They respectfully take their shoes off. I mean, I took my shoes off to see Cherry Ruby Jubilee. But that's just your thing. Yeah, that's just my thing. She made you mail her your shoes.

So I'm wondering if we can just kind of see if there's any jimmies in there without having to interact with anyone. I could try and do it detect thoughts to try and pick up some Jimmy thoughts. So good. Yes. Okay. I'm just going to go like near the pleasure pods. And maybe I'll like touch one or I'll just try and like, you know,

as you go near the pleasure pod. We're going to roll in a counter check to see who's nearby. And tell me how you're navigating the crowd. Adam is going to buy every flavor of Christmas cigarette. Great. We're talking gingerbread. We're talking mold wine. We're, of course, talking full roast turkey dinner.

Of course. And cookies for Santa. Cookies for Santa. Cogies for Santa. I put them all in my little slot. Great. That money comes out of. And then I like them all with a butane lighter.

and then you're just distributing them through the crowd. Great. So you start walking through the crowd. So it'll be like persuasion, some kind of charisma check, I would think, or deception. Right. So I'm going to roll on the encounter table.

You see two, so there's two clowns that are kind of in your way as you go to get to the pleasure pod. So you brush past them, but you hand them cigarettes. Thanks, I fucking love these things, man. Ho, ho, ho.

Oh, ho, ho. Yup, y'hap. Yop, ho. It's like a, But Christmas. Go ahead and give me a persuade some kind of deception check, something with charisma if you're

handing out cigarettes. I'll use one of my luckies for this so they don't fuck this up into it. They have, they got a 17. I got a 16. Damn it. Okay. I'll stack a built for success on that.

Okay. Like goose is a hole. As they're looking suspiciously at me, I dispense even more cigarettes from within my body. Whoa! More of a Halloween guy. That's why you felt weird when you passed by us. You feel like you're a different shape than you are,

but it's because you're full of fucking cigarettes. How much it built for success ad? Plus three. Oh, great. Then you're all good. All right. So you brush past them. Meanwhile, slug and ox, you guys are just trying to kind of blend in on the dance floor,

but keeping your space, you're not bumping in anyone. Adam, you get by these two clowns, and you get to, and I'll see you guys have mics so you guys can still talk to each other. you guys have like your um earpieces uh you go over to the pleasure pods uh you see there are ads uh that say 10 credits per minute you see pictures of pietro and carly quin in seductive poses reaching out to you uh the pods themselves are these thin metal chambers they are individually labeled one through 50 there's a touchscreen in front to reserve one and yes you've got these touch screens and you've got all these hatches okay first of all i think adam needs to roll

a wisdom save or something, or maybe a Christmas save, to avoid just going in. Great, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Adam, stay on comms if you need us for anything. It's comms, not comms. Wow, I didn't realize there would be so many options. It's a wisdom save.

It's going to be a four. Okay. You decide what that means for you. I think I need to more thoroughly investigate, and I hop inside one. Great, okay. Okay, Adam, just... Don't give you real name when you...

You fucked the ninja blender this morning, Adam. All right. So you go up to this touch screen to reserve one. You see that numbers 1 through 30 are red, implying that they are already taken. They're booked, but numbers 31 through 50 are open. Okay. Does it say who's using the other ones?

Absolutely not. Right. Yeah, this makes sense. That would be funny if it was just like a leaderboard of like two things. Honestly, I probably could have made it. freaking orange theory. That could have made sense. Yeah. I will go with 38, because it looks like boobs in an ass. Great. All right. You go into number 38. You enter this chamber. You are right now spending 10 credits a minute. How much money do you guys have? We have 1,200. Okay. You enter and you

close the door behind you. You are in this tight room. It's like small walk-in closet size. It's basically like a strange white liminal space. And then there's a small bed with a thin mattress and a body suit with dozens of sensors on it. Adam, Adam, I just got to say this on the comms. There's a ton of sensors. It's going to sense who you are. If you put on that body suit, it's going to out us, I believe.

But there's so many sensors. Yeah, that's kind of the reason. Maybe you could just masturbate in the corner or something. You see as Adam is talking to you guys on the comms, you see this white liminal space suddenly looks like the sphere in Vegas, thousands of videos, and you see they're all different individual images of Big Rick, who's just hanging out in fields and on top of horses and stuff,

and he goes, come on, hop on. That horse billed for two? You're damn right, it is. I picture Big Rick In my head, Big Rick is like a Crick elf. He's kind of like That's funny.

Because at this point in like Bohemian history, I feel like that's become almost like a Nostologic thing. Sure, yeah. So he just looks kind of like cold cold colds. He's just in the middle of a swamp on a horse. I think I'm very tempted,

but I'm going to try and stay on mission here. Okay. If you want me to make another role, I will. But while I'm in here, can I try and like reverse hack it using detect thoughts to try and see who else is in the pot. Yeah, go ahead and I'll say like you can like hold your head up to like the wall nearby and stuff and go ahead and do like detect thoughts. Jesus.

It's just a cacophony of people being like, I'm going to go. I think I can detect the thoughts from out here. If you were somehow able to get the surface thoughts of somebody who was like using a secret passage or something. You'd know they were using a secret passage. They would be thinking about that. So don't worry about the probe. This is a tough perception check, though, because obviously there's a lot of interference. It is all people just like in another fucking zone right now. You know what I mean? They're in like VR. They're in a primate state. Exactly. So go ahead and roll a perception check. Okay. I'll say you'll get some information with DC.

18 and you'll get a lot of information with a DC22. I'm going to use a Maverick spirit. I can add 1D8 to my wisdom with this. Okay. 19 total. 19 total. Okay. This is not just people experiencing like pleasure or something.

This is like these like very overwhelming. You can even tell from just like before you put any of the sensors on or whatever. It's like you're being manipulated just by being in here of like when you look at Big Rick and you're like, oh, I like that picture. It's like suddenly he starts looking more like that one picture that you liked a little bit more than the other one. So you're getting like all of these like overwhelming kind of messages in your head mixed with all this like very like primal feel. And in addition to that, you do get a sense amongst the lower numbers that are taken like below 20. there is an emptiness that is not present in the other ones.

That's the passage. That's the passage. Guys, either somebody is having a terrible fuck or one of these pods is empty. Okay, if it's empty, that's probably the passage that Jimmy and his crew are coming through, right? Yeah, I don't think there are any bad fucks in there, so it stands the reason. Yeah. No, it's all good in here. Let me tell you.

Yeah. Rick is giving me a massage. We've got to get over there if that's where the passage is, right? Slug. Yeah, which is the number? It was one through 20. It's one of the lower ones. I'll give you better than one through 20. One through 15.

I can't get an exact read, but it should be somewhere between Pod 1 and Pod 15. If you're willing to do another encounter check and do it again from like outside the pods, I'd be willing to narrow it down even more, but it will require doing it like kind of in front of people who are milling around. I think I'll communicate that to them via our comms so they can like kind of start sweeping over that way. Cool. We could scope the crowd one last time to see if there's a Jimmy, but I think that would mean us posting up and wait until the Jimmy went to it. Nice, like, I think I want to get the fuck out of here. Yeah, me too.

Okay, great. Yeah, we're going over to the podcast. Great. Okay, I'm going to roll a encounter, see who's in the way. Okay, you see one of each type of acrobat. You see a fire eater, an aerial list on top of a giant like pole. And a blade juggler spinning knives that you guys have to go like in between to get towards the pleasure pods. How are you guys navigating that?

And I'll tell you what kind of role you have to do. I think that so we have established that a deck of cards is holographic. So I think I'm going to switch it to be cards against humanoidity. Great. And I'm going to just come up with every dildo card possible and flash it and just be like, we're having a great time. and I look at the new cards against you moiety expansion pack.

It does small dildos now too. Go ahead and give me, I guess you knew a performance check. Whoa, the chode dildo pack dropped. Wow, that one looks like chapstick. 17. Okay. 17 does it. You guys are able to successfully get through these guys

who all laugh hysterically. Okay, yeah. We're like dapping everyone. Yeah. They're so fucking sloids. That's so fucking sad. That's so funny. It looks like a tick-tack.

I mean, come on. And you guys get over to the pods and join Adam as Adam exits. Okay, so any thoughts on how we suss this out? I mean, we could just knock on doors. Or knock them down. Does anyone have any way to sense who's inside? I only got my stimulated senses, which lets me use blindsight. Okay, something I have is called the right tool for the job.

Oh. With thieves' tools or artisans' tools in hand, you can magically create one set of non-magical artisans. tools and they vanish when you use this feature again. So maybe I can create some kind of tool set that would let me hack into the screen where people reserved all of the rooms and maybe see which button hasn't been pressed. That's good. Or we could start a fire and during the fire drill we'll see which one no one comes out.

Yeah. Hawkscoaster pressed the flame button on his tech pack. You see a fire has already broken out on the dance floor and people are still just dancing. through it. Okay. Yeah. They might not care. Let's go with your idea.

I knew it was better. Sweet. Okay. So you create some tools and you plug into this interface. I'm going to say, we'll say those three guys are still kind of hanging out nearby. So does anyone want to do any kind of, you will have to distract them or something as you pull up? I'm going to just play cards against humanity with them. Okay, great.

Go ahead and give me another like deception. or performance check. I'll help with that. Great. Two 18s becomes a 20 tree. Great. Nice. So you guys join them.

Can I start to gamble on it? Yeah, of course. All right, let's see you as the fucking funniest one. Well, we all have small dildo. Yeah. It has the tiniest. Well, sometimes a big dildo's funnier. Sometimes small dodo's funny.

Got it to bed. Suction cup dildo's pretty good. Okay, so, Um, Ox, meanwhile, you have time to plug into, uh, this machine here. Go ahead and give me a tech arcana check. Anything above a 10 will get you some information. DC 20 gets it dead on. DC 15 gets you, it narrowed down even more.

Okay. As I jack in, I say, this isn't sex. That's a 21. Nice. Okay. It looks like people reserve this. and there's like a little card thing that they print out. It's almost like something you'd get at the arcade or something like that where you get like a card or like or a casino.

You get like a card that like has money on it and you go and you reserve a door. So you see it's not connected to anybody's like identity or anything like that. You just see like numbers. The one that sticks out is pod number 13. Pod number 13 has not had anyone like log in to have gone in there in like a lot. in like a while. And it's always like a few hours later, whereas the other ones,

there's turnover every like five or ten minutes. Okay, so lucky number 13. There's either somebody going into millions of dollars and credit that in there. Yeah. That's the shortcut. Wait a second. Before we do this,

is there any chance that we're just walking into like Pietro and Carly Quinn's office? Potentially. Okay. If so, then we'll just. say we were trying to go to his own tree, sorry. We had an invitation from the Jimmy, sorry. Right. If we see them, we'll just say we're big fans.

Yeah, cool. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. We're big fans. Sorry. Sorry. I'm going to go voice too because I want to, if it explodes or anything, I'm going to take the damage. Ox, you click on number 13 and you see that even though it says it's taken, you can still reserve it.

And as you click it, and click yes, you put in like the minimal amount of credits. You put in like 10 credits and you get a card for room number 13. Okay. You guys walk over to this pod. You open it and you close the chamber behind you. And you're once again in one of these rooms. It looks very similar to the room that Adam was just in. You're in this tight room, small like kind of like walk-in closet size covered in like white walls.

and there's this small bed with a thin mattress and like a body suit with sensors on it. Should we check under the bed? Maybe that's where the tunnel is. Yeah, let's look under the bed. Let's kind of, you know, touch the wall, see. You guys go to touch under the bed, and this one is different.

This one is, like, attached into the wall. It's like fully, like, cement under the bed. And as you guys go to feel around and everything, there is some give to the suit. Under the mattress, you look under the mattress and you see that there is indeed a giant hole in the bed with a ladder. Okay. All right. I'll hopping down.

I'll go first because we don't know what's going to be waiting there. Sweet. You guys climb down the ladder. You guys go about like 10, 20, 30 feet down. You eventually plop down into this dark cavernous room. And as you land there, slug with your dark site, you can see a little. little bit, but you guys like produce a light. And you see a layer of mist at your feet.

Vap? Looks like vape, yeah. And you see that you are surrounded by fogged up mirrors. And you hear far off giggling and voices echoing. And actually you hear two voices go, you know, they say we live in a fantasy world. but look at you the fog gives way you guys stare at yourselves in the reflections

in your disguises and suddenly the mirrors crack and your true selves are revealed you see just Adam Rom looking back at you slug slap dash ox O'Connor

and you hear the voices giggle again what's wrong with us what's so funny are you okay. That doesn't sound like a genuine laugh. I think you're forcing it.

Did you bump your elbow? It's a sexy little laugh. We see what you really are. What are we really? What are we really? We're poifets. We're disgusting. We're little worms.

Is that what you see when you look in the mirror? Uh-huh. I was just referring to the fact that you had disguises on. Oh, yes. Sorry about that. You know, we're trying to keep you a low profile. Yeah, that's fine. But anyway.

You know, trying to be discreet. Isn't that the name of the game here? Of course. Are you coming right now? Are you in between? Holding it off. Oh, my God. They're edging.

All right. Well, if you want to achieve what you desire, we'll catch you at the climax. For a flash, you see Pietro and Carly Quinn's eyes appear in the mirrors, then disappear as their cackles echo in the distance. In a moment later, you see your reflections return, your disguises are lifted, and you find yourselves in a mirror maze. Oh, no. Put your left hand on the wall, everybody. Michael.

This is Patreon exclusive Ronald and McDonald. cartoon. He told us how to navigate a maze. His uncle had a maze in his backyard. My good personal friend, Ronald McDonald, showed me this. Do we get the sense that this is the correct tunnel? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So, like, the jimmies and the Blackfire Carnival have, like, an arrangement with this tunnel. Exactly. Yeah. They know how to get through. It seems like some magical bullshit that they've put up for you that the jimmies wouldn't have to deal with. You guys are going to have to do navigation checks at certain points. How will you do corresponds to how quickly you solve the maze.

The quicker you solve the maze, the less enemies waiting for you at the exit as Pietro and Carly Quinn summon their troops. Okay. So they've always been kind of like waiting for you as soon as they like heard you guys were trying to escape. Yeah. But their troops are all out and about. So if you guys get this done super quick, then you might just have to fight them.

I am going to activate my rage to activate my blind sight. Because I'm thinking that echolocation might really help us see through some of these like illusions. Certainly. Is that you making that high-pitched noise? Yeah. I feel like it's giving me more malware. I don't think it is, but I can't conform. So who wants to give me the navigation check?

You guys can stack it up however you would like it. I think you have good navigation, right? Yeah, I have a navigator's kit, right? Yeah. Let's have Adam. so I can try and like do a like a mapping radar. Okay, great. Can I give you the help action by by programming something into your circuit board?

If you guys want to give a help action, you guys will have to do a DC like, let's say 15 survival check. Okay, great. So if one of you guys wants to try and then if you're successful enough with that, you can help. I have a little like flap on my back that flips down so that ox can ride on my back and basically pilot me from up top. All right, I'll try. That's a 14. Okay, so you guys are having kind of a hard time with

the optical illusions of this, but Adam is going to try to navigate it. That is a dirty 20. Dirty 20. Okay. DC20 plus you guys make perfect time. You expertly navigate the mirror maze without having to backtrack at all. You run your

hand along the left wall ensuring that you don't fall for any tricks and you luck out the few times that you had to make a choice when the paths diverged. You don't seem to be getting caught in any dead ends or anything like that. But at a certain point, you guys pass rows of mirrors with red lights running along the outside. As you do, everybody give me perception checks. Shout out to the two crew! 17. 14. As you guys walk, you start to hear like a little bit of echo in your steps.

And with a 17, Ox, as you kind of look over to the side into one of these mirrors, you notice that your reflection was slightly out of step with you for a second. Huh. This thing's glitching out. What did you do to it? It's, ox pauses and waves his hand in front of the mirror. You walk over to the mirror. You wave your hand.

You see the reflection on the other side, waves his hand back at you. Seems to be perfectly in time. Okay, I am going to go into a rage and use my blind sight. I will look up what that means, but I just think that's going to come into play with all these mirrors. Great. Certainly. As you go into a rage and as you use your blind sight,

the ox in the mirror is like with his offhand going to grab his mall. I'm going to attack the mirror. Everybody go ahead and roll in each other. Yes. 21. 9. 23 for my initiative. Okay.

as you guys launch into attack, you see three mirror mimics of each of you guys appear out of the rows of mirrors and begin spinning their weapons and launch into attack. First to go at Initiative 25 is Slug 1. Slug 1 is going to go after Slug proper. Shit, I'm beautiful. The furthest away is going to activate the jet dash flies forward at Slug. That is a 19 to hit slug You apparently have my character sheet So you know it hits

I sure do Careful 15 damage A bludgeoning damage As she shoulders into you And then she's going to pull out the hockey stick And attack recklessly Okay

19 hit 10 damage with the hockey stick Down the five And then takes a second attack Or third attack rather That is definitely going to hit That is an additional 10 damage

Okay So you see Slug 1 goes in on Slug. Nails her twice with the hockey stick and a jet dash. After Slug 1, that is initiative 23. That is Adam proper. We've got three atoms, well, four, one of them's you. Three oxes have jumped out in three slugs. Wow, three each. Okay, dokey. Hello, fellas. Oh, it's mirror image. Someone of them are fake.

Ah, as you say that, Slug, you notice that while these seem to have. your abilities, there is like a lack of like a hardiness to them, a lack of material. As it swings through you, you like reach up to kind of wrestle with it and you feel like this is some kind of magical construct. Okay, let's sort this out real quick. I'm going to use my assault rifle to just spray all of them. Hell yeah. Okay, what is the range on the assault rifle? So with the assault rifle, it essentially allows me to make four attacks instead of two, but they all have disadvantage. Great. So I'm just going to try and like target all three of these. Great. With my like assault rifle spray.

You get flat on Slug 1 because Slug 1 attacked recklessly. So roll against her first. Okay. Flat on Slug 1. That is an 18. 18 will hit Slug 1. It poofs into dust as you hit her. Spraying with the assault rifle knocks her way.

It's mirror image. Shatters the mirror behind her that she came out of. All right. Attack 2? 15? 15 would not hit anyone. Okay. So you miss.

Tell me who you're going out. after with this next. That one doesn't matter because you wouldn't be able to hit anyone. Okay, I'm just going to go with my next two attacks. I'm going to go after the Adams. The Adams, great. 14 misses. 14 misses Adam.

And then, ooh, here we go. 24. 24 hits Adam. We'll say you find the guy who, like, looks like he's next up, an initiative. I was getting ready to launch at you. Spray bullets down into that, Adam, who poofs into dust and disappears. They all are wearing, like, different hats like Kirby and Super Smash Brothers. Oh, you got to.

Is that the end of your turn? You got anything else? Yeah. I'll use a bonus action dodge roll. I'll like on a dodge roll back and then reload my assault rifle. Sick. Okay. You do a dodge roll after initiative 23, initiative 21, ox proper.

I think as I'm waving my hands at the ox in the mirror, I'm also reaching behind my shoulder to get my sawed off blunderbuss. I'll take my first shot at Ox 1. That is an 18 to hit. It's going to cast shield. Cast shield blows back. Oh, you're good. Yeah, you damn right I am.

I guess I'm just going to shoot him again. I'm going to try to roll high enough. I got a. Shout out to the two crew. Okay. Blast into the mirror. Pings off of your own tech that you created. Rova, are you going to let him do that?

Rover's wrestling with another rover. Rover will attack that rover. That's an 18 to hit that rover, which it would. Yeah, yeah. Rover's not even there, but an 18 would not hit an ox. So, like, effectively it doesn't do anything. Yeah. So ox proper's done

At Initiative 20 is Slug 2 Slug 2 It's just sees ox miss twice And is like, hell yeah Let's kill this guy We would never think that way We think that way all the time We have to work together

She is going to make some reckless attacks First she'll make a jet dash attack So she goes to shoulder you That is a 24 to hit God, do I always look this good doing it? Shield is useless, all right? You take 14 damage from that. Okay.

Two attacks recklessly. 25 to hit. Yeah. Okay, 11 damage. Okay. Slug, ow. And then crits. Oh, my God.

What? Okay, that is going to be 21 damage to you. Jesus. After Slug 2, that is Ox 1. Ox 1 is going to use his brand new flame thrower. Guys, are we annoying? You see... No, I look incredible.

Are you kidding me? His bracer. And I'm going to say this is going to hit slug and ox, because you guys were both looking in the mirror. That's how you guys detected that these guys were bad. Fire. Fire. Yeah. Fire.

You see fire flashes in the pupils of this guy. Seems to, like, know your greatest fears. Go ahead and give me deck saving throws. 22. Okay. Two and a three. You take 18 fire damage. Oh.

And ox you take nine. I'm going to die. After Ox 1, that is Ox 2. Ox 2 is going to jump out. This one will go after Adam. Adam, go ahead and give me a deck saving throw. Ox, what the fuck? No, we just got to remember.

This is self-love. We're seeing what we're capable of. Yeah, it's a good reminder to use the jet. 22. 22 passes. You just take half. You take eight damage. Okay.

After Ox 2, that is Ox 3. Ox 3 is going to, fuck it, we'll do FlameJet on Slug and Ox. Go ahead and give me deck saving throws. Oh, my God. 19. Oh, my God, a tree and a five. Okay. That is 19 damage to slug.

Happ to me. Yeah. Ox. Ox goes down. Okay. Ox drops. In a puff of smoke. Oh.

After Ox, that is Adam 3. Adam, you still got your detention orb up? Did you switch it out? I still have it. Shoots it at you. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Come on, man. Damn, we're powerful.

Yeah. Yeah. Guys got to do area of effect stuff. Eleven. Adam is trapped in a bubble. After Adam won, that's Slug 3. Slug three goes after Slug. Misses on the jet dash, then takes two reckless attacks.

Hits on one, misses on the other. 11 damage. Half to five. Half to five, yeah. Six hit points. Slug, that's your turn. Adam right now is rest of. strained in a bubble.

Is that concentration if I go out to that guy? That is in it. Actually, yes. If you kill that guy, Adam will be freed. Okay, I'm bloodied, rolling everything with an advantage, going after the thing that got the detention orb.

30-20 to hit. You hit Adam. Adam 1 goes down. Bubble pops. Adam comes back. With that, I'm going to cleave who someone would in five feet of him. Okay.

I'll say the Adams were ganging up on Adam, I think. So Adam 3 is right there. Nat 20. Nat 20. 20 kills Adam 3. Two atoms go down. You cleave through swing your hockey stick wildly through two of them. I think that these oxes are hard to get, so I'm going for the slugs.

Great, yes. Slugs have all attacked with recklessly. I've got another attack, and then because I crit, I have a hue, so I have two more attacks. 19 on the die is a crit for me. Kills Slug 2. Slug 2 pops. 18. Hit Slug 3.

Okay. Slug takes out the slugs, takes out the Adams. There are three oxes left. All right, you little shits. Get over here. Kill them, guys. I can't watch. Because I'm dead.

Top of the round. Adam proper. Adam is free from his bubble. If there's this many of us here and we're not having an orgy, then something went wrong. I don't really have any good area of effects spell, so I am just going to shotgun blast these oxes. Great. 23. 23 is going to hit even with shield.

So you destroy. Roy, Ox 1. All right. Ox 1 goes down. Take that, dude. Yeah, take that, dude. Ah, fuck you. Goes down.

And then 25. 25 kills Ox 2. Ox 2 goes down. Nothing personal, ox. Fuck yo. Ox 2 goes down. Ox 3 is the only one that's left. Except for Ox proper, who's knocked out.

And I'll use my bonus action to deliver a potion to ox. Great. I say, Hop and Adam. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then I, like, jam this syringe into his ass. Great. Okay, ox, you pop back up 4D4 plus 4.

Oh, hell yeah. I pop back up with my finger on the jet button, fighting fire with fire. Brother, don't even need a roll, because as soon as you do one damage, it's an auto kill. He's gone. Nice. So you flame thrower through the last ox. Wow. And you guys are now surrounded with your regular reflections.

but now bloodied, were severely hurt by the fact that the fake slugs rolled so fucking good and the real slug rolled so bad. How hurt is everyone right now? 6 HP. Good God. That healing potion got me up to 11, so yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready to go.

I do see the positive spin. I'm incredible. Yes, no offense to the Hampson sisters, but if we had four slugs, we would win every match. Oh, the Hampson sisters with three slugs? Now that could be a whole scene. That's a pick crew.

So you guys survived just barely this fight. Could have gone real sideways. But all that is... If that wasn't sideways? That was pretty sideways. But if Slug went down while Adam was bubbled, you guys just get captured. That's just what happens. That would have been bad.

Yeah. Would have been super bad. We'll reflect on that. Ha, ha, ha. So you guys see now, instead of these like strange mirror monsters, you just see your own reflections. but beaten and bloodied and ahead is more maze and definitely more of the Blackfire Carnival. And that's where we'll end our session.

You're edging us. Yeah, you're edging us like Pietro and Carly Quinn are getting edged. I do feel on the edge of death. I honestly didn't expect that to go that bad. Really? Yeah. I thought, well, Ox just has so many things where he can just like hit like four or five dudes at once. Yeah.

It was like, you guys are just going to pop them. You literally had three oxes who didn't have to recharge. So you got to do three in a row of the most powerful thing. For sure. For sure. And I can't have fire. So I just. Yeah.

We'll talk about this more over on our Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. That's NADD-D-POD don't sing yet. Don't do it. Don't do it. Excuse me. Yeah.

Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I want to shout out Katie Siegel who sent to our PO box, her book, out of the loop. And this morning I was trapped under a cat. You know how like when a cat sits on you and you don't disturb it? You don't want to disturb it. So I was trapped under a cat. And the only thing within arm's reach was out of the loop. So I started reading your book, Katie.

And I'm really enjoying it so far. Hell yeah. I believe Katie Siegel's book also has a special acknowledgement to Murph about a scene from campaign three in it. Oh, thank you. Yeah. If you are also trapped under a cat or, you know, the animal of your choice, reach for out of the loop. Yeah. I'm only a couple chapters in, but I also was like, oh, actually, this is perfect.

Yeah. So my cat thinks you too. I'm going to pack this book so the next time a horse falls on me. I'm ready to go. Hell yeah. Happens a lot. And you can follow us on social media that we're mayor-man-net use. At C.Hmerst Me, at Caldez, Emily.

And at Jake Hurwitz is Jake. And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are. The Youth of the Nation. We are, we are. It's the end of the show and you know what that means? We simply must shout out our benevolent council of elders,

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Mw-Muh, M-W-Maw. Goodbye, my sweetest of Sweeties. That was a HeadGum podcast.