Not Another D&D Podcast - Gangs of Neo Galaderon - Ep. 9: Pietro & Carley Quinn

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

The Kill Screens race to escape the mirror maze before the Blackfire Carnival can catch them! Slug loses her gredit card, Aux designs matching tattoos, and Atom laughs a little too hard. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: "Neo Galaderon" by Emily Axford"Aux" by Emily Axford"Cyberskitch" by Emily Axford"Slug" by Emily Axford"Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford"Doppelganger" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahamia, everybody. Barbaumia. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Setting things ablaze in a mirror maze,

Oxo Kana. Oh, yeah. Looking good. And then, of course, we've got Emily Axford. Feeling a fear of the friggin meir. I'm slog slap hatch. The mirrors are tough. Mirrors are tough.

They beat the shit out of you guys. A fit. Hey, my reflection. Hey, I'm reflecting here. Here's that what we look like. Whoa, this was a metaphor for how we're all avoiding our own self-reflection. So many versions of ourselves. So many different paths we could take.

And then, of course, we got called Little Tanner. Ooh, I've got no regrets because I'm smoking Christmas cigarettes. Yeah. Who could forget? Who could forget? Spoke up, pot. Cookies for Santa. Cigarettes for Santa.

It would smell so good. It would smell so good. It would smell like an 80s Christmas. There is a tea I get every time from Trader Joe's around Christmas time called Winter Sleigh Ride. Oh, no, I haven't had it. Sugar Cookie Slay Ride is what's called. Have you had Trigger Cookie Slay Ride? No, I haven't.

I think I realized that there was a different tea company that they do like a Christmas. And you're just like, this smells like that. Well, sugar cookie Slay Ride is actually my favorite sexual position. Honestly, sounds hot. Do you like burn incense or something? Don't worry about it. Okay. Are they're...

He's obviously never done it. I'm the sugar cookie. He's the sleigh. Does that hope? Who's the reindeer? The cats. Figure it out, man. I figured it out. I got it. I got there. Okay. Let's go ahead and do a little recap.

So last time, you woke up in Eddie's waterbed and upgraded your tech, then caught up with Eddie, who returned home with some news. News of a secret passage from Zone 4 to Zone 3 in the Big Top Club, controlled by the Blackfire Carnival. James of the South Avenue Jimmy's doesn't like his guys partying in Zone 4 so Thin Jim arranged for a passage from Thin' from Thin Jim's Crypto Bar and Grill.

You did this to yourself. I did it to myself. Eddie said he'd try to rally some troops to help you guys down the line but couldn't enter the club without being noticed. You guys headed to the big top in disguise and hit the dance floor while Dubstep New Metal played and patrons dance with holograms

and Christmas cigarettes burned. Oh wow. This is actually from a John Wick movie, I think. Yeah, a lot of Christmas cigarettes in that movie. Adams snuck into a pleasure pod and after a temptation from Big Rick used detect thoughts to find a dead zone amongst the occupied pod suggesting the presence of the secret tunnel. Slug distracted some clowns with cards against humanoidity cards. I did this to myself. Yeah, I said it right once.

I keep doing it to myself. I love it. while Ox hacked the pleasure pod reservation machine and learned that Pod 13 had unusual activity always booked but rarely used. You reserved the pod for yourselves

and entered, then found a ladder to a hidden chamber. There you were surrounded by mirrors and visited by the images of Pietro and Carly Quinn, the Blackfire leaders who said they'd meet you at the climax. You began navigating the maze as quickly as possible,

hoping to reach the end before they could summon more of their goons. Along the way, Ox noticed that his reflection was acting strangely, and a fight ensued between the kill screens and a squad of replicants. After some bad initiative roles, Ox going down at Adam being bubbled by his own detention orb, you were finally able to overcome the replicants, beaten and bloodied, and that's where we are now.

So you guys are taking a moment to take a short rest to patch up your wounds. You don't think any of these are two-way mirrors that have cameras in them. because that was really embarrassing for us. Oh, and like there's like FBI agents watching us. I punched the mirror. Hey, if you're watching in there, just know we're strong. We had to kick our own ass. You couldn't do it.

That's right. Listen, we overcame ourselves. That's got to mean something to someone. I mean, that's shadow work, psychologically speaking. We saw something that we judge and out of people. Usually when other people attack us, we judge them. And then we saw, oh, actually, we do it too. we also attack us. Slugs, did you learn this from your sexy therapist V-tuber that you watch?

Yeah, Cherry Jubilee. Cherry Rubelie is what I've shown in it do. She's got a, she's got a diploma. Yeah, the guy in the joystick does at least. So you guys take some time to patch up your wounds, but the mayas continues up ahead, winding paths of optic illusions, a layer of mist or vape at your feet. You think probably vape. Sniff that. Can I, uh, sort of take a bite at the air and see if it's vape. Yeah, you can take a bite at the air, form it into a donut. Yeah, it's your least favorite, as you said last episode, banana-flavored vape.

Oh. Whoa. That's a real flavor. I spit it out like a baby who doesn't like. Ox dry heaves. It's old banana somehow, not even fresh. So the way this is working to remind you guys is that sort of the longer you take to get through the maze, the more of their troops they're going to be able to get waiting

for you guys at the exit here. So the short rest, which just saved our lives also put them in peril. So it's going to count as like one setback, but so far you guys have zero setbacks because you had a perfect time last navigation check. So you're going to make another navigation check now, and that was led by Adam. You guys can give him help actions if you guys can succeed on a DC-15 survival check or like investigation, something like that. Okay.

I only got a 10 on no help. All right, so I'll do an investigation check. That's a 19. Okay. OX is able to help. Slug is gagging on banana vape-vap. Oh, I can't get it out of my mouth. It's clinging to my paste buds.

What's weird is that you love plantain-flavored vapes. Yeah, it's like a banana that isn't trying so hard to show off. Okay. The humble plantain. Yes. The humble banana. With bananas is that they're showing on. Yeah, it's just so much flavor in your mouth.

Plantane is a working man's banana. Yeah. It's true. Plantane is a banana that I remember where it came from, right? Yeah. Remembers as people. The lion seems to go dead between you guys and Specter. Specter.

Specter. I'm losing you, I think. I mean, sure, it's an erotic fruit, but flavor-wise, it's too much. All right, go ahead and make your navigation check. You can do it with advantage. Ox is helping you out. Wow, that is two tins, plus my tin to investigation becomes a dirty 20. Dirty 20 is great, because DC 20 plus is a perfect time.

Perfect. You expertly navigate the mirror maze without having to backtrack at all. We're just punching all the glass now. Adam, do you think that you could use this navigation in the sky with a ship? I think if you plugged me in and ox piloted, we could go wherever we wanted. You think you could navigate the stars? As long as I can, the stars, you mean to space? Are the stars not just like hanging down kind of low?

And if you get up in an airship, you're flying by stars? I mean, we never really been higher than a building, so I'm not sure where the stars are. If I look at a mountain, it looks like the stars are next to it. I don't know how low they go. Maybe that's someone's job is to keep pushing them up. Cool. I could do that. You could hold them up like some sort of mythological figure.

Like Atlas, holding up a star. Who's that? I don't know. The education system in Neo-Galateron really slacking. Hey, don't speak ill at Elma. He's the education system for a tree of us. And he didn't teach you about space? He got me some yummy SD cards about math, but that's about it.

Okay, all right. So as you guys walk through this maze, go ahead and do me a favor and roll initiative. What? A favor? How is this a favor? Do me a favor. Do me this solid. Give me a freaking sugar.

Cougar cookie sleigh ride. 19. I also got a 19. I wrote two 16s. I'm doubling up today, folks. Okay. What does that mean? That gives me a 21.

Ooh, okay. I need you to do a roll-off with someone. Gladly. Let's do another roll. Mm. 22. Okay. All right.

Was that favorable for you? That was, depends on what I want. What is that? If I want to fucking kill you or not, it depends. Why are you being cryptic? Because I'm being cryptic. The sleigh ride is supposed to be pleasant. Oh, because we're going to the crypto bro.

Okay. So you're getting cryptic. So, Adam, you're walking ahead, navigating this maze, and then you see your reflection. Then it sort of glitches for a second, and you feel somebody's hand hitting you. And it's like very dull, and it feels very far off. Stop that. You're freaking me out. And then your entire world shifts.

And you see that you were wearing VR goggles. And you see Eddie is trying to wake you up and going, Adam, dude. What is happening? Look, man, you're living in a fantasy world. The big heist, the citywide manhunt? It's not real, dude. Oh, fuck. I'm letting you crash on my couch, but like, you gotta get back to reality.

Just five more minutes. No, dude, ox and slug are dead, man. I'm sorry to say it. They're gone, dude. They're, no, no, I just saw them. You're living in a fantasy world, Adam. You were in a fantasy world. Who are you to judge me?

Get up. I think Adam is, he's only wearing underwear. He's got some, like, real silky briefs on. Sure, he puts them on. Over his body. Yeah. Before bed. Yeah, it's Cupid holding a Glock.

Okay. But Adam, you see, as this is happening, there is sort of this, like, strange shimmer to Eddie, and it, like, glitches out again. And with your higher initiative check, you see that there is some trick in a mirror up ahead, like some monster is trying to cast a spell on you. Wow. Heads up. There's charmers up ahead, and not the normal type.

So you may take your turn. You see this like shimmering mirror shade is leaning out of one of the mirrors and is casting, trying to cast something on you. I like get a bead on this shape and I am just going to like fire right at it. Hell yeah. Right on. I'm all for mixing work and pleasure, but you crossed the line. And I'm just going to blast it with my gun. Sweet.

This weird mirror shade just goes like, just makes weird warbly sound. 17 and 16. Both hit. Nice. All right, let me do some damage. So you guys just see Adam walking forward, really expertly navigating this, and then he just stops, stand still for five seconds, and then just shoots a mirror. Adam, buddy. Get out of my head. Wait, is it mirror, Adam?

They're alive. They're alive. How dare you? Did we kill the wrong one? Oh, shit. Which Adam are you? Fuck you, Eddie. I'm going to kill your ass. 21 damage? Wow. Okay. This mirror shatters and this strange shimmer. mirror monster like squeals and falls out of it after Adam's turn. So this thing also had a 21. You needed an 18 to see it. So you got your, with your navigation check, you had high enough to

notice this thing. But now it is its turn. The thing that it had cast on you is something called reflect fear. So you are still going in and out of like, are you being inceptioned? Which one is the real world? Is Eddie the one that saved you? Or did you help save? Eddie, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Dude, wake up! I'm going to pull out a special little flash drive I keep in my ass and inject it into my head. An ass drive. And this is going to give me an extra D8 to a wisdom saving throw.

Okay, great. This is called Maverick Spirit, and I am certainly going to need it because that is a four on the dice. Oh, my God. So what is that total? You're trying to beat a 16 here. Or get to a 16. I'm pulling out all the stops. I need to get a 16.

Yeah. Okay, let's see if I can do it. That's an 8 on the D8. So that becomes 12. So I need to get a 4 on my built for success. That's the only way to do this. All right. I want to burn a lucky, but I'm going to hold on to those.

All right. That's a false. You got it! Oh, my God. Wow. You didn't even use skinny your teeth, but that was by the skinny of your teeth. All right. I'll say with being that fucking close, the Inception gets even more confusing.

You take like goggles off again, and it's Elmer being like, wake up. Wake up. No. No, they were a dream. Everything's actually good over here. Everything's actually good over here. There's no way that that heist could have been real.

We should have been caught instantly. Yeah. What was you trying to steal from the guy who was at the security? We were riding motorcycles. It was too cool, Elmer. Too much. You take half damage. You take 10 psychic damage.

You would have taken 20 and been frightened. but now you know, you've got to worry about that. Jiminy Christmas cigarettes, folks. And then at the end of its turn, it is going to hide. It goes and disappears into a mirror. And it rolled really bad, but it has good stealth. So you see it conspicuously maybe hanging out of a mirror. I guess it depends on how bad slug rolls on this.

Slug, that is your turn. What the fuck was that? That FBI agent went back behind the mirror. Yeah, that was such a freaky-looking FBI agent. I never seen one before. Did they all look like that? Could they all speak in tongue? That was the first time I ever saw an FBI agent.

Yeah, I don't know. I guess they all looked like that. Just a reflective, weird little gremlin that looks like the goo from Alex Mack. I never knew. Alex Mack was an informant. It was wearing aviators. Go ahead and Slug, give me a perception check to see if you can find this thing. Come on out, you FBI agent.

Oh my God, 20 tree. Okay. See, for. forgot to turn into your reflection, so successfully got into a mirror, but there's just a mirror that is showing this gremlin in it. Like there's a weird painting with you and a gremlin in it. We can see you ass. Oh yeah, I'm going to step back and then I'm going to rush at it. Great.

I'm going to attack recklessly. Cool. Nice. Nat 20. Whoa! And Emily was whispering to her dice before we started today that she's ready to start printing again. I did. I did. Yeah. They heard you. This thing has a plus seven to stealth, and it can hide in mirrors, but I rolled in that one.

So it had an eight. So there's a world where you don't see it, but yeah, it's just there in the mirror. You're hard to see, but you're making a lot of noise. That's the one that's like, it's the mirror that's warbly with the strange gasps coming out of it. This is my first attack, so it is my jet dash. Oh, six. You like ram the fucking mirror. Dirty tree damage.

Oh, my God. Okay. Damn. Send their ass back to Virginia. This thing is so hurt. So you smash the mirror. This thing falls out. It's just like twitching on the ground.

Also give me a strength save or fall prone. DC16. It falls prone. It's prone. Okay. Well, I'm recklessly attacking it. It's so fucked. Its move is to hide and to trick you.

And it didn't get to do that. So it's just so fun. It's a bug slug. Squash it. Squash it slug. My next attack. is 21 they hit. Okay, that hits.

21 more damage. Okay, Slug, finish the mirror shape. Yes. Hey! It's hissing for its life, Slug. I'm going to hiss to it. I'm going to hiss in its own language and say, you tell the FBI,

they're going to have to be smarter if they want to catch Slug Slap Dash. Do you hear me, FBI? That's right. You tell them that we're watching, hey, we're watching you, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're watching you, FBI. FBI stands for a female barbarian instigator now. And then I think I'm going to drink it because it looks tasty.

Okay. I always wanted to try a sip of Alex Mack. It looks like a caprice sun. So the mirror shade, yeah, dies in confusion. It hurts itself in its confusion. You eat it. It stops begging for its life. I know I sit.

I sit just a little bit. Okay. You successfully killed it. And I will say, fun peek behind the screen. I think like both of these fights were supposed to be kind of an equal challenge. And, you know, sometimes one just kicks your ass and then the other one just doesn't. And that's just kind of how the dice roll, right? Hide better, idiot.

Okay. All right. Well, let's cruise now because I got a, I got a rage going. So I want to make the most of it. Guys, I thought you were dead. Please, come here. Wait, you thought I was... I, like, grab both of their faces and smush them together.

Please tell me you're real. Please. Yeah. Wait, you tell us. You're not, because you stopped and you looked confused and then you shot your gun. Well, I do that a lot, but... Yeah, right. You're right. I actually take it back. I know it's you. It's me, Adam, it's me. Oh, slugs. Oxi, get over here.

It's me, buddy. That weird FBI agent made me see all sorts of crazy stuff. It was a sci-op. Yeah, MK Ultra. We're alive for now. Okay, let's just stay close. You know what? Let's come up with some sort of, because we're getting trick. to left and right. Yes.

So we got to come up with some sort of code that only we knows that the FBI doesn't know. Right. Okay. So, yeah. Like, what is the, excuse me, what is the FBI?

Sorry, what? The FBI? The FBI is who's coming after Alex Mack. Have you seen Alex Mac? Oh, fair. Yeah.

Okay. I guess Alex Mac was brought up by somebody. Okay. I'm off. Yeah. Honestly. the second somebody introduced it into the world, it became canon.

I think it was description and not a character saying it. So mine actually passes. Okay, so we got to come up with some kind of code. Oh, how about I will cast illusory script on everyone so that we can have a special tattoo that only we can see. That'd be so incredible. What do you want to have a tattoo of? Because some of your Hawaiian shirts have been inspiring.

Yes, I miss them so much. What do you think, Ox? What would you have if you got any tattoo? What if we do one of those, like, lotus flowers, like on your shirt, Adam? Yeah. That's not really sexy, though. We've got to jure that up a little bit. Okay.

Okay. What if it's like two lotus flowers, and in the center it's got a nipple, like two nipples, like it's a big rack or something. Yeah. Lotus flowers that look like a huge rat. With a tasteful bikini covering them up. Yeah. So you can wear it in public.

Yeah. Okay. So it's like lotus flower gagas. Yeah. Lotus flower gagas. Now we're talking. Okay. Put mine on my arm so I can look at it when I need to.

When you need to? For inspiration. Wait, that's a really good idea, actually. Sweet. So you guys make lotus flower boobs? I'm going to have mine just on my palm. Christ. It's also not like.

Lotus flower boobs. I believe oxed, lotus flower gagas. Yeah. What is it gaga? Gaggaz. Giz. Giz.

Yeah. Is that a term for boobs? Gagga is a shorter version of gizonga. Yeah. I don't know, man, d'ar. Okay, yeah, sure. Fine. Howdy all?

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That is code pop-off 50 off until 09-27-2020. Okay, folks, that is it for me. Thanks so much. Have a great day and keep your eggs safe. Bye-bye. Hey there, Nadpoles. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. You know Squarespace.

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Like there's a big cavern up ahead, somewhere that leads to the outside. Go ahead and give me one last navigation check. You guys can do your checks to see if you can help Adam. Hey, I'm trying my hottest. That's a 17. Oh, yeah. I got 15 on a die, dirty, 20, so I can help. So why don't we say slug does it this time?

What? Why? What? This is an investigation check? Well, you guys are just, yeah, you can only get advantage one time. So last time, Austin. I was looking at my plus zero being like, I can't do an investigation check. Here, Slug, hold this flashlight.

Adam pulls out a flashlight from the prize counter, which looks like a knockoff lightsaber. Slug starts doing some weapon play. I always wanted to be a stunt double and maybe like a combat theater person, you know, around all those pretty actresses doing tricks. I think that you could fall into a car really well. Around all those pretty actresses doing tricks. Imagine them just watching you.

They'd be so classy and I'd be covered in fire. No way. It turned into a nightmare. I would love to see you in a Holly Livingwood picture. Roll your navigation check. All right. Fine. It's 25.

Okay. So you guys exit the mirror maze and find yourselves in an underground tunnel. There is a swinging bridge. up ahead across a narrow chasm. The ceiling goes up and up, and from above you, you hear voices speaking in chorus, echoing in the cave. Two souls, entwined as one, a dark, twisted romance. And here you are, the ones who can make our greatest,

Fantasies come true. Is this an AI romanticist? You see Pietro and Carly Quinn lower from the ceiling. Are they intertwined? They're in sleigh-ride, sugar-cookie sleigh-ride position. They're in like a weird sexual aerial dance, like spinning around each other. It looks like they can fly or levitate. They're levitating down.

And eventually they stop. They're hovering over the bridge and addressing you. They're about 50 feet away from you guys. and they speak in tandem and they go, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. What's your definition of both? Well, the hard way would be all of us going at it. Okay, guys, I know I do exactly this sort of thing,

but it's not cool, right? Honestly, this is funny when you do it. Yeah, this is like truly actually. But it's hot when we do it. But that's what I was going to say. It's crazy because so much of your tech works on me, but I think you guys don't. No?

It's just too much. Yeah, not so far at least. I'll keep an open mind, of course. Okay, yeah, keep an open mind. Yeah, what's the easy way? Yeah, so we're lovers. We're not fighters. We don't need six million credits.

Cool, flex. Three billion credits will do just fine. You see, they hold their hands out, and they go, hand over the tech, and we'll let you get back to Zone 1, all nice and tucked in, safe. Okay, first off, sexualizing bedtime, weird. Okay. Second off, sorry. You have a special light that you turn on when it's sex time. in the bad.

Okay. But I got to know because like I said, I'm keeping an open mind. What's your dream that you do with this tech? We could turn that three million credits into five

million credits and then turn that five million credits into like six or seven million credits. So just financial investment? Just invest it, yeah. Yeah, you're scaling it somehow? Scaling it, yeah. So you use the

The tech, okay. Financial copulation. I mean, maybe we'll... It's all about multiplying with them. Maybe we could take the city back from mothership. I know exactly what you do with that tech. You would make traps and pods that people would never be able to get out of. This tech, if it got into people's minds, they would be lost forever.

You present yourselves as a pair of lovers, but what you do is akin to hate. Yeah, you're trying to fuck over the whole entire. entire world. Yeah, you don't fuck people, you fuck their minds. And when you fuck somebody's mind, they don't actually come. Yeah. That's so true, Ox. I never thought of it like that. Where were you when I was coming down from Cherry Jubilee, Ruby Jubilee? They giggle. Ah. So the hard way it is then. You see Maltaf cocktails fly in from deeper in the cave.

They land in the middle of the bridge and explode, destroying the planks, sending them in all directions, and the whole cave alight. There are like little fires everywhere. With the bridge gone, all that's left are chains hanging like tightropes across the chasm. And a bunch of Blackfire Carnival acrobats emerge from the darkness balancing along them. They join their leaders and cackle. Yup, yep. Hey! And Adam, as you see the shadows of Pietro and Carly Quinn flickering in the fire,

you recognize Pietro and Carly Quinn as two of the five silhouettes in the footage of Elmer's death. You. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Okay. And here is how this fight is going to work. So the chains are difficult terrain. It's not exactly the same as like a tightrope where there's just like the one line that you're trying to stay on. impossible to fight on.

But, like, there's other chains nearby. It's kind of just, like, a mess of swinging ropes and stuff nearby from, like, the leftover wreckage of this bridge. So it's difficult terrain, but if you want to use it as non-difficult terrain, like, essentially run across it and do, like, a leap of faith or something. You can do a DC-13 deck save, acrobatics, or athletics check to move at normal speed. So that's you, like, run and devil make care. Gotcha.

Okay. When you take more than 10 damage on a single, like, melee hit, you do a deck saving throw where you risk falling into the pit. Save is equal to 10 or half the damage, whichever is higher. Falling prone would also knock you into the pit. So it's kind of like a concentration check. The pit's depth is inconsistent. Some parts are deeper than others.

You could hit like an outcropping of rocks or something. So I'm going to roll a D4 whenever someone falls and then we'll multiply that by 10 and that's how deep you've fallen. So you can fall 10 feet, you can fall 40 feet. And then you kind of have to deal with getting back up somehow, whether that be climbing or using an ability or something like that. So you can throw people off. You guys might get thrown off.

This is a very like multi-level battlefield here as these acrobats have set up this like insane chain jungle gym. Let's give them a show. And waiting for you guys is the minimum amount of people and then there's going to be one setback. So you guys see Carly Quinn and Pietro, they're going to act on the same initiative. They seem to be like moving together in tandem. You see a fire eater eats a bunch of fire and breathes. it out threateningly. You see an aerialist that is walking across the chains with a giant pole, but then also is like pole vaulting off the chain has like insane balance. You see a blade juggler

and a clown. Dildo pack. You see flashes all dildo cards. What did I bring to the Dildo? A Dildo! Slug can't help but laugh. You're going to love our tattoos. And then roll a D6, and it's going to, one new combatant will be here because of the one setback. Okay. So this could have been like five or six extra guys instead. It's just going to be one. Okay.

So extra blade juggler jumps out. Check out for jugs on those. Check out my freaking gaga. I'm going gaga for them. I'm saving you for last. All right. This one. This one, played joke with huge tits.

Doing flips while throwing knives. Okay, what did everyone get on their own? I got a 21. I got a 23. I got a Nat 20. Wow. Okay. First to act is Adam.

You've got Pietro and Carly Quinn get to kind of overcome all of the, overcome. All of these sort of like chain disadvantages. because they're flying, so they're like swirling in between them. So they're at, I'll say they're about like 30 feet in the air. And then you've got all of these other clowns, various acrobats and then actual clowns. Okay. I look up at Pietro and Carly Quinn and I just say, come on, guys. Act like you've been there before.

We have been there before. To the edge. I don't actually know. It seems like you guys are just edging each other and have never actually had sex. We're waiting. What was that? Wait, never once? You never once reached the top?

A forever edge and a dark, twisted romance. Are you, what are you, are you saving yourselves for something? The climax will come today. Wait, maybe it's never going to come. What? Have you considered that you're like climbing a mountain with no end? No. You might reach the top and run out of oxygen.

If you think about it, are you even close? They look confused. They've lived their whole life on the edge. Go ahead, Adam, take the turn. I see the glint of their promise rings. And then I focus suddenly become very religious. And then I focus on the carnival goers. Great.

How many are directly on the same chain as me? They're all kind of staggered. I'll say if you want to hit multiple with an attack, let me know what the range is. And you could probably only hit one or two at a time. What if I wanted to break one of the chains and take them down with me? Oh, okay. A chain has AC of 19 and 10 HP.

I will say that these guys will get like deck saving throws to try to like jump onto something else. So it's not an auto hit. But I'll say you can get is there someone in particular you want to get? And then I'll roll to see if there's anyone else on that chain. Did you get the blade jugglers? Yeah, why not? Both blade jugglers are on the same one. Okay.

In my head, one has a huge ass and then one has a huge jugs. Sure. Just, you know, so that the listeners at home can distinguish them. So the whole thing can. For the fan artist. So everyone can picture it. Yeah. All right.

So I'll roll two attacks. Great. That is a 27 and a 22. Both hit. All right. Let me do my damage. I believe you're going, with two hits, you're going to do enough damage anyway. So you get on one of these chains and you blast through the same one that the blade jugglers are on.

You can give me a deck save as well. So let's call this a DC, let's say 15. Great. I'm going to use Lucky. Okay. DC 15. Dex save. 26.

Wow. 26. Okay, sick. You jump and grab onto another chain. And then these guys, ass fails, Gagas hang on. Oh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

So I had pre-rolled the depth here. the first fall is 40 feet. So you see the one juggler goes, no! And falls 40 feet down and takes 16 damage. So just like is in the depths, quite hurt by that, but he's still alive, but is like 40 feet away now.

I say, the best for ass. And then is there anything else you would like to do on your turn, Adam? Yeah, I do. I'm going to try and use my flash grenade gadget. Okay. on, I guess, this remaining the Gaga juggler.

Okay, great, cool. So that's going to be a DC-13 con save, I believe. They fail. Okay, nice. Blinded by the light. Right, flash me, I flash you. Sweet, after Adam's turn,

that is Slug's turn. Okay. Let's go. So, because of my speedy, if I dash, I ignore difficult terrain. Oh, sick. Okay, so you see Slug freaking

Neruda runs along these chains. Slug. I want to dash. My way to the fire breeder. Okay, great. Because I want this guy gone. You're facing your fears. Yeah, I'm facing my fears.

But also, I'm kind of motivated by fear because I want to take them out before they can put fire on me. And then because I dashed, I get to do my jet dash. Sick. Okay. You go and shoulder this fire eater as he's about to swallow a bunch of fire. Wait, stop. I haven't digested. That is 18 to hit.

18 hits. 26 damage. Christ, so hurt. And he's got to do a DC-16 strength or fall prone. Passes. Okay. I am now going to use my, for the first time, with my first attack, I'm going to use my magnetic weapon.

Whoa. He's trying to hit him and another person. Sweet. Who else do you want to hit? So you throw the hockey stick around and it boomerang spinning. You're trying to crack this fire eater, and then you've got a clown, an aerialist. I'm going to go for the area. Okay, great.

23 to hit. 23 hits both of them. So cracks the fire eater in the head, spins around and hits the aerialist. 18 damage to both of them, and they both got to do a con save or fall prone. Fire eater is dead. So you crack them across the head, breaks his neck, falls off into the chasm. I fight fires. The aerialist looks quite hurt.

It's going to make a roll. Fails. Damn. Yes. Yes. But hits an outcropping. Falls 20 feet down, but only takes four damage. Is anyone else near me?

Yeah, there's a clown. What's up? Okay. I'm going to use my second attack on this clown. Okay. Don't make us laugh. We're very angry. That is 26th.

26 hits. Another 20 damage. Oh. And got to make a con save. Okay. DC 16 or prone. Okay. The clown passes.

after slug's turn, that's turn. Damn, you guys are all loaded up at the top. So you immediately are just, they do this whole speech, you guys just rude to run on the chains and just like break people's necks and throw them into the chasm. Feature and Carly Quinn are like, hold on. You can't just

spring a circus on someone. That is rude. They're all going to be dead by the time you get down here. All right, ox, that's your turn. So who's in front of me right now? Aerialist is down in the pit. Blade juggler, one ass is down in the pit. Gagas is blinded on the chain.

See, it's helpful. And then you've got a clown. Shoot, do I go for Gagas? And then you've got Pietro and Carly Quinter like in the air, like 30 feet up. I think you'll have advantage on Gagas. Yeah. All right. Say Tata to the Tautas.

There's only room for one pair of Gagas on this chain. Can I, I want to use, I want to make an acrobatics check so I can get my charge attack and run across this chain. Great, okay. So you try to run across the chains as well. Go ahead and give me an acrobatics check. That is a 16 on the die. Passes.

You're good. Okay, great. You run along. Go ahead and take your attacks. All right. As I'm running, I'm like smashing my cyberdeck to charge up my mall. And it's basically, I'm casting branding smite. So it starts rippling with electric energy.

Sick. Yeah, it all starts running through the chain. Make your attack with advantage. She's blinded. That is at 24 to hit. Woo. 24 hits. 29 damage for the first attack.

Wow. Okay. On death's door. All right, I'll swing it around. With advantage, that's 27 to hit. Yes, that's hit. That hits. Okay.

And that is, that time it's only 12 damage. Okay. You take her out, you crack her with the mall, and she falls off into the abyss gone. So long, gagas. And then after Ox's turn, that is Pietro and Carly Quinn. Uh-oh. They are going to do a seductive dance targeting slug. Slug, you see they start spinning so quickly that they become one form,

the form of Cherry Ruby Jubilee. Dr. Cherry Ruby Jubilee. Why is she a doctor? When did that happen? She's my stripper and my therapist. Got you. She's wicked smart. So she's wicked smart.

She's wearing glass. I love a woman who's smarter to me. She's sitting cross-legged in a chair across from you. Go ahead and give me a wisdom-saving throw. That's a four on the die. Oh, damn, Slug, she looks mad at you. So Slug is charmed. While charmed this way, the creature's speed is zero as it enters a stupor.

It can repeat the saving throw if it takes damage or uses an action to try to repeat the saving throw. So you guys just see Slug in a stupor staring at them as they do this dance. Terry, nobody gets me like you do. It's like when I talk to other people, I feel like I'm sort of juggling two things, sort of who I am and who they are. And sometimes it's hard to reconcile it. But with you, it's just, it's just, it's gravy.

It's just easy, isn't it? It's so easy. It's frictionless. Absolutely. Absolutely frictionless. And that's because you deserve that. Do I? Yeah.

That's crazy because... You deserve a frictionless relationship where you just say the stuff that you like and I also like it. God. Oh no, she's reaching for her wallet. We have to stop her. I think this might get declined, but I hand over my credit card. That's a shade of count. Slug.

Glazy-eyed. It's just reaching. Let me know if this gets declined. We can get creative. And then they're going to go over to Adam here, spin around and turn into Big Rick. Hey, how about a little peck for old Rick? Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Careful, your stubble might scratch the chassis.

You see energy begins to like siphon out of Adam and is being like, sucked up by them from like 10 feet away. Oh, that's a 10. Okay. Adam takes 14 psychic damage. And you now have disadvantage on wisdom and charisma saves. Fuck. After that, they're just going to fly it ox.

Fuck you. What, I don't get a fantasy? Give me one sec. I'll tell you what I'm into. They just hit you with a chain whip super fucking hard. Just 27 to hit for 15 damage. Why can't I get hypnotized? You're into real vanilla shit.

Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw, Ox. 14. So you pass. You hang on. After Pietro and Carly Quinn, that is the aerialist. The aerialist... 20 feet down. Is 20 feet down, but it's a fucking aerialist.

Fuck. Okay. You're not looking so aerial right now, I, uh, yeah. So the aerialist has a climb speed. So the aerialist just literally pole vaults. back up onto the chain right next to OX. You are looking really aerial now. It's kind of just my old fucking thing, man.

And then is going to make two barbed pole attacks. Whoa. Hey. Watch what you're poking with that thing. Yeah. So he's going to stab at, let's say, ox here. That is a 20 to hit. I'll cast shield.

Great. Nice. Shield goes up. Pinks off the side of the shield. Whips around again. does a pull vault on the chain and then does a heavy swing down. That one's a 24 to hit.

Okay, yeah, that one got me. Okay, you take 13 damage as your wallups. Yeah, I gotta give it up, though. That was really impressive. Yeah. Thanks. You pole vaulted on a chain.

That's tough. Yeah, yeah, that's tough. How long have you been working at this? Hey, I've been putting my 10,000 hours, you know? Big Malcolm Gladwell guy. Really? Yeah, I don't know. I thought he was talking about like books and stuff when he said that.

No, he's talking about everything. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. It's been kind of disproven, but like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Just a book about how practice makes he good at stuff. I heard he cherry picks the data. Cherry Ruby Jubilee picks his data.

Fair. After the aerialists, that is a clown's turn. All right. So now my guys get to fucking go, dude. Yeah, we were front-loaded. I thought we were doing real well. Okay. Clown is going to try to run across the chain.

please don't fall. That would be so bad. Just has to do DC-13 to try to run across the chain. I'll say it's going to go at Adam. Watch me fucking Nerudo run, man. Put down those cards and pay attention. Definitely passes

despite looking at the cards and giggling the whole time. So passes and gets to you and then is going to take first things first, Adam's switchblade attack. 28 to hit. Yeah, that hits. Stabs you directly in the neck,

a bunch of wires spark, nine damage. Oh, okay. And then is going to fling a metal-tipped cards against humanoidity card. That's a 23 to hit. 23, I'm going to use Skin of My Beeps. Oh, dodge this. Oh, fuck, it's just a one.

Okay, so that's just a 19. Okay, you take 11 damage. And then go ahead and give me a DC-13 wisdom-saving throw with disadvantage. Okay. I hate to admit, but these cards would be great for the prize counter. That's just an 11. Okay. This is the funniest shit you've ever seen. And you essentially have Tosh's hideous laughter cast on you. So you perceive everything you see as this funniest thing you've ever seen.

This is epic. Ha ha ha. So fucking epic, man. Dude, you are awesome saws. That's freaking game Oh man this dude's a gamer I almost don't want to kill you Oh shit Ana failed to say this gives you the prone condition

Oh no So you do fucking fall over laughing Falls off the chain 40 feet for 12 damage And it's just in a pit I had 11 HP left Adam doubles over and falls into the pit

Oh Adam? Did he just pow that way down? Ooh, bad stuff. Okay. That is the remaining. There's a blade juggler down in the pit. 40 feet down.

Blade juggler that I tossed down here. Yeah. Okay. The blade juggler is going to, yeah, you hear like an evil cackle from the pits. as the blade juggler stabs down into Adam cuts a cord and Adam is bleeding out two failed death saves. Fuck, hey, you leave him alone down there.

Oh my God, top of the round. It's Adam's turn. Okay. Oh, fuck. Is there anything we can... I have nothing. Okay, this is bad. If I fail this, I'm dead.

Yeah. I'm going to use this big metal dice because it looks like Adam. So the role is going to be terrible But I got to do it That's an 18 Okay There we go

All right So one pass You guys have like ear pieces Where you can hear each other You guys hear Adam like glitching out And it seems like He is he is damn near dead

So Slug we cut to your turn The charm condition that you have It brings your speed to zero But you can still act I think Slug is feeling all this attention and affirmation from Cherry Ruby Jubilee and it's intoxicating, but it's also kind of one-sided. Like when I'm with Aux and Adam, there's this interplay. And that's what makes it exciting, you know, being part of something, not being the whole story.

So I think I hear Adam glitching that a little bit of static, that friction. And I think that's enough for me to be like, Ox, hit me. You mean it? I mean it. I attacked recklessly, so you'll have advantage. Hit me. All right. Okay.

Ox, so if you'd like to, she can essentially hold her turn. And that's your turn. Okay. You'd only need to do a little bit of damage to her. It's any amount of damage allows her to re-roll. Nice. All right, great. So I want to basically just jump off this chain and go down to Adam.

Can I hit Slug on my way? Yeah. You can make an attack on Slug. All right. I step off the chain. I say, more Gagas coming into the pit. I ripple my tattoo. And I put on a pair of brass knuckles and I slap Slug on my way down.

That's a 21 to hit. That's sweet. That hits. You can just do the damage of like your strength modifier because you're essentially just hitting her with like an unarmed attack. You don't actually want to do a ton of damage to her. Then that's one damage slug. One damage? Wait, what happens then?

Do I turn it to zero? No, no, no. You still take one damage. Okay, okay. So ox slaps you to try to knock you out of it. Go ahead and re-roll that wisdom save. 18. Okay.

16 on a die. Slug, you are out of your stupor. Oh. You snap out of. of it, but we will continue Ox's turn here. So Ox, you're going to jump down. Do you have any way to brace your fall or anything like that? I'm just going to take the damage.

I'll say with your movements, you'll be able to take half damage because you don't have to fall 40 straight. You don't have to like jump totally down. You can use your movement, jump from like one thing to another. So I'll say you're just jumping like 20 feet, 10 feet at a time. You can jump 10 feet at a time. Yeah. I'm doing it I'm doing it recklessly, like slug style.

Okay. Got you. Trying to brace myself. You take six damage as you roll down, but you get next to Adam, and you see there is a blade juggler there with a knife that is just carving up Adam's tech. Okay. Hey, back off, back off. That's one million fucking credits. Hands off the merchandise.

He's not with anything. He's priceless. And I think I'm going to whip out my sawed off blunderbuss. Sick. And shoot him with my one remaining attack. Sweet. That is a 22 to hit. 22 hits.

16 damage. Had exactly 60. Oh my God. Ocks finishes blade juggler. Awesome. I think I take a step towards him, but then go to a knee and put my hand on Adam's chest. And as I do, I just shoot the sawed off blunderbuss, like right into this guy's neck. Hell yeah.

And once I shoot this guy through the neck, I drop my gun and give Adam the greater healing potion. Sweet. Okay, 44 plus 4 for Adam. Go ahead and roll that. Okay. Come on, buddy. All right. Giving you a reboot, pal.

All right, so now these guys are in a fucking pit now. That being said, that is now Slug's turn. And Slug, you are out of your stupor. So you got Pietro and Carly Quinn, have not been hit yet. Don't look as hardy as young blunder or anything, but they're kind of like are hard to hit. They're flying around. You still got an aerialist, and then you've got a... clown.

Okay. Okay. I killed your fucking friend, dude. It throws up the peace sign. I made him laugh so hard he fucking died. What does the peace sign have to do with this? Because I tore him to fucking pieces. Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm going to see if I get my magnetic weapon back. I do not. Okay. Here's what I want to do. Okay. I kind of want to jump into the air. Mm-hmm. And use one of my attacks, use my,

chains, my street justice feet, to grapple, like, throw chains around either Carly Quinn or Pietro. They're acting as one stat blocks. You can get both of them. Nice. And then I want to then fall into the pit and drag them down with me. Oh, hell yeah. Can I do, I'm going to real quick see, are they like an illusion? I'm going to like real quick be like, are you just like nothing? Great. Yeah. Go go ahead and give me an insight. 19. They're definitely not like a hologram, but there is definitely something strange about the fact that they both move in tandem and speak in tandem.

There is something going on here. But they're not, it doesn't seem like they're bullshit and there's just someone nearby that's going to like pop out and be like, ha ha, that was all for nothing. It's a tangible being. Whether or not this is what they actually look and act like is, up for debate.

Yeah, I guess maybe what I'm trying to understand is if it seems tangible enough that there's something for a chain to wrap on. Yes, definitely. 100%. That's all I need to know. I'm in a bonus action adrenaline rush to run towards them. Okay, they are actually, so they're not in the air right now because I narrated them going down to a chain to get on ox.

So all you got to do for me is give me that athletics check and then you can jet boost across the chain to try to shoulder at them. I think I don't need to because adrenaline rush is a day. Yeah, okay. So you have no difficult terrain. So you run across the chain. Go ahead and make your attack. Okay.

15 to hit? 15 hits exactly. Oh! They don't have like heavy armor on or anything. Their game is flying around. 20 tree damage. Okay. And then that was just my bonus action adrenaline rush,

which, because it's a dash, I get to do that jet dash attack. Now I will move on to my actual attacks. Okay, so I'll say that they were like floating a little bit where they like struck the chain at ox, you slam them down into these chains. I don't know if prone does anything to them, but... They can't be prone. They can't be prone. Okay.

So then now I'm going to use my first attack to try to attack them with these chains. Great. Nat 20. Oh, my God, dude. So much needed. I mean, it's an athletics check, but yeah. So then I'm going to bind them, which means that... Okay. So the chain wraps around them.

Uh-huh. And then I want to drag them down into the... hit. I want to try and take the hardest fall I possibly can. So you're just going to jump. Okay. So you're just going to like wrap onto them and like pile drive both of you. I'm going to pile drive them 40 feet. Christ. Okay. Here's what I'll say. Go ahead and roll me 4D6 and you can roll it twice and take the higher number because you're like trying to hit as hard as you can and you and them will take that. We'll go with 13. 13 damage. Okay. You guys. down in the pit. So Adam, you cough and come back to life. OX, you're there over him. You see all this chaos in the sky. Suddenly, three figures fly down and explode into the rocks. You see Slug hanging on to Pietro and Carly Quinn. And then I'm going to take my second attack to just take my hockey stick onto them. Now that'll take the edge off. 19 hits. 19 hits. Just 16 damage.

Wow, okay. And now either you will get advantage on attacks against them. Ooh. Oh, that's great. If they can't escape, then you guys will get my allies have advantage on creatures. It has been so long since you've gotten used the street justice thing. I forgot what it did. It's so bad for these guys that don't have great AC and their games to like fucking fly away.

Yeah. Welcome to the pit crew. Yeah. Okay. After Slug's turn, that is back to Pietro and Carly Quinn. So what do they have to do to get out? 21 acrobatics or 23 athletics. And I think it's an action.

Ooh, hell yeah. They are not going to burn an action to do that because they have other fucking tricks that they can do. Oh, no. They're once again going to try the charm on you to get you to drop the chain slug. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Oh, I've never wanted it more.

Come on. Something good. Come on. Don't pay attention to her. Oh, I really want this to work. 18. Oh, my God. 16 plus you? Is that an 18?

Yeah, yeah. Does that save? That absolutely saved. Okay. She resisted. Oh, that feels awesome. All right, so instantly, the illusion breaks, and you see that you're in the shit here with your friends.

Wait a second. You too. You're just a dude with a joystick. No? You're a dude with a joystick. I recognize you now. It was you. No, no, no, no.

You see, their image does start to, like, flicker a little bit. They, though, are going to take, they'll just take their highest damaging attacks because they can't fucking get away. They're going to go ahead and make some chain whip attacks on, I guess they would make it on Slug. They got Slug right here. Do they make it with advantage?

Yeah, I was reckless. You damn right you were. Two hits. 31 slashing damage. Oh, wow. Okay, so that's 15? 15, yeah. All right.

And, look, I shoot like an electric charge over using my interception. Oh, nice. And I take 10 damage away. Oh, my God. That's so good. All right, now they're like furiously trying to get away. Get away, get away from us. But there are still more clowns.

You do hear, yep, yep, hey, in the distance. No. Aerialist is going. going to use climb speed to get down here. We got to go after Slug here. Slug's got their leaders chained up and they get advantage. So take in some cracks at Slug here. Come on.

Yeah, I'm feeling so wise right now. I just, I just faced down a lution. Hit and a crit. Okay. Another 33 damage. That's fine. I can handle that. Okay.

Yeah. And then that is. The clown's turn. He'll do what Ox did and take like a reckless path down. So he's going to take a couple D6 worth of damage. Just four damage

as he jumps down. Ah, yeah. Ooh, wah! So goes up behind Slug and tries to stabber with a switchblade. I ain't afraid of getting bloodied. That is 19 to hit. Hits.

Hits. Okay. Slug, you take 13. Piercing damage. At the six. Okay. And then is going to throw cards against... Actually, hmm. Nah, for you, we'll do sick and twisted mind.

So begins to swirl an orb around. Have you ever seen Dottie fucking Dargo? No. Throws a DVD at you. Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. No. Holy shit. He's flipping a DVD.

Seven. Seven is a fail. Ten psychic damage. Oh. I take it all. I can't have it all. Top of the round. Adam, that is your turn. Okay. I think I slowly stand back up

and kind of still glitching a little bit, but I put a hand on ox and say, thanks, buddy. I can't wait to navigate the stars for you. And then while I've still got my hand on him, I'm just going to, without looking, point my shotgun directly at Pietro and Carly Quinn. We'll get up there, navigate it. And I get advantage.

Yeah, you get advantage because of my street justice feet. I have advantage on this. So I'm going to take two shots with advantage. That's why he's in charge of directions. He doesn't miss. 25 on the first hit. 22 on the second one. Both hit.

25 damage. They are looking quite hurt at this. Hell yeah. Oh, from my bonus action, I'll use bite the bullet and give myself from Timbhp. Great. Yes. Okay. Nice.

So I take the DVD that they threw at slugs and I eat it. Hey, I was going to watch that. Yeah, he made us out pretty interesting, right? I like Donnie DACA. It might be kind of over my head, but... I'll put out a hologram later. After Adam's turn, that Slug's turn. So Slug, you've got them chained up.

They're looking bloodied. I think it's actually Ox's turn. Oh, sorry. We switch order? All right, we're doing a beat down here? What? I pull out my Bob Dwyer baseball bat, aka my mall.

Shit, I'm going to charge it up with the branding smite and take a charge attack. Oh, shit, with advantage. That is a 22. Yeah, that hits. You smack them with a fucking barbed wire baseball bat. 26 damage. Quite hurt, still alive. Then I'm going to, like, hold it across their necks with both hands and try to choke them out with it with my next attack.

That is a 27 to hit. 27 hits. Nine damage. On death's door still alive. Oh. Slug, your turn. Okay. I actually realized I do have advantage because I'm bloodied.

Oh, okay. You're bloodied, so are Pietro and Carly Quinn is clown. That's a ninth and on the die, which is a crit for Slug. Oh, my God. Hell yes. 31 damage. Slug. You swing around using your chain or your hockey stick.

I'm using my hockey stick. Okay. Back the basics. You had them wrapped up in your chain. Bats and sticks. You tug them with one hand. And then you break out your hockey stick, you spin it around, hits them across the jaw, cracks their necks. And as it does, you see an illusion breaks.

And behind them, you see this little gremlin dude covered in tech armor that looks like it was designed to amplify his power and project these avatars. And as his neck like whips to the side from this hit, you hitting the actual person behind. it, you recognize this as the same guy who was piloting Cherry Ruby Jubilee. So this is the guy you were into? No, I would never be into a fucking guy. Yeah, you just see this little gremlin dude, neck breaks, falls down to be shits himself. I want to find his joystick, and I want to shove it down his throat. He shove his joystick down his throat.

Slug, though, you do this damage. You see there is, you guys are on down. door, there is still a clown down here in an aerialist. The clown just goes, I'm going to be the fucking leader now, man. I still got another attack. I have a lot of ideas for how the organization can be wrong. Are you ready to fight to the death? Yeah.

I'm ready to fight to the death because I'll fucking sack. Before I do that, I am going to use my cleave attack on him just to try to... Careful. He's got Southland Tales on DVD, too. Yeah. That's also a crit. Oh my God. Good thing you talk to your dice. So only eight damage on that cleave, and now my proper second attack.

30-20 hits. 18 damage. You absolutely kill this cloud. So you, like, spin around. You just slash him across the throat with, like, the frayed ends of your hockey stick, like the wood bits. It just perfectly slashes his throat. He's dead. Just an aerialist left.

Oh, okay. I can be the fucking leader now. That's my old one. You're going to lead. There's nobody here. Nobody here, but there's people back. I can just take over the, yeah. No, you've got your head in the clouds.

Leave yourself back home. I just need to pull the fucking joystick out of this guy's mouth and that I can be the Pedro and Carly Quinn. You don't have a therapy license. Yeah. After slugs and ox's turn, that is the aerialist turn. You guys are down here fighting with shit. Read the room. You have a chance to run away with your life.

Did you attack recklessly? I didn't have to. He didn't have to. Oh, okay. So just flat. So it just takes two barbed pull attacks. Uh, not one. Just ask. You know, in your heart of hearts, you know, this is a fool's errand.

You were bombing this interview. Why are you running errands for fools? Absolutely hits the little gremlin dude who twitches and shits himself again. The aerialist takes another crack. Uh, Jesus, rolled a three. Hits the guy again. The guy comes alive again. for a moment just to shoot himself again and die.

Stop hitting him. He keeps doing that. That is Adam's turn. I'm going to aim right at the stilts that the aerialist is on. Great. I can just blast through them. It's a 19 on the first hit. Okay. 13 damage. Okay. Aerialist is on death's door.

You can leave. We will let you walk away. I can now. That's Slug's turn. Okay. That was a 17 hit. 17 hits. Slug, finish him. There's no way he doesn't die. He had two HB left. I'm going to throw out my hockey stick, use one of his stilts to then swing that way.

Okay. Finish him off with that. You pull one stilt out. He falls, lands super hard, and then you just crack him across the head with a broken stilt. You were just covered in blood, so injured. Adam almost died. You see a bunch of frayed edges of Adam's wiring. Oh, my God.

It was like glitching. We got to get you back to the shop, buddy. I'm going to take out. I'm going to reach down the third. throw to this dead gremlin and I'm going to take this stupid joystick out and then I'm going to start wailing on it. Great. Okay.

I'm going to just go to town and I'm going to say, hey, if anyone else has something to work out, let's turn this into nothing. And it's like, I feel like it's like taking a baseball bat to your iPhone. That feeling. That's what slug is chasing. So you guys really office space style. Yeah. This joystick.

OX goes feral like his fox. The box in him. comes out and just like bite it and shake it from side to side. Adam pulls out his drill arm and then looks back at oxen plugs and says, thank you for being real. And then he just obliterates this joystick. You guys destroy the joystick. Carly Quinn and Pietro or the dude behind them has been destroyed. So the head of the Blackfire Carnival, the head has been removed from the beast.

Oh, hell yeah. You guys have a path now to zone three. What is everyone's HP at? As you guys are just all bloodied at the bottom of this fucking pit right now. I got 26, but 12 of that is temp. Okay. All right. So that is going to fade very quickly.

Yeah. I'm not doing too bad. I have 28 HP. I'm about half. I think it goes to show how bad we are that we're celebrating 28. Yeah. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm at less than half HP.

Are you guys here in Carnival, music. I'm hearing a lot of carnival music. I think something is wrong. Yeah, I think I am too. Wait, maybe I'm not. Okay, you know what? Wait, can Ox, can you help fix Adam at all? Yeah. I mean, I know you already did, but like, I mean, would your tech expertise? I can, I can try to do a tech icono check. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. I would. Hmm. I do, I can benefit from the mending spell as well. I don't know if you have.

And I do, that's how I fix Rover. Really? What does the, what does it say? What does Mending do for you? Healing machine, I can get one D8 plus three with Mending. Whoa. Okay. That's, how are we only just now discovering that?

All right. Go ahead and if you'd like to cast Mending. It's a cantrip source. Yeah, and roll a D8 plus three, ox. Ox. All right. This cabinet's seen better days. No, I think, yeah, this wire connects to this one.

I'm just kind of like shoving them all together. My knee pops up and I kick her over on accident. Sorry. Yeah, I'm sort of like slap dash, just shoving them all together, trying to slam the door shut on his back. Yeah. But that's nine. Whoa. Nine more HP for you.

Okay. So Adam's still looking a little bit rough. Probably still needs to be taken to the shop, but you're able to at least make him not vulnerable. Get all the wires back in his casing. Snap it back in. You guys climb back up. You make it to the other side of the tunnel walking into the dark. towards zone three

and a new gang of enemies the South Avenue Jimmies and that's where we'll end our session Oh my God Oh my God That was tight Finally

Gotta be honest Kind of glad Adam didn't go out Laughing at a card Against humanoidity card Yeah but what a way to go Yeah What a way to go

I tried to once it got serious I was like all right The blade jugglers are going to like brutally like knife him They're not going to be like What's that? They won't say yup, yop, yep, hey before they get us. Yeah, they're not going to say yup, y'upe, hey, and kill him.

He died with a smile on his face. And a dildo in his mind. All right. With that, you can hear us talk about this more over another Patreon. Patreon.com slash Nadpod. That's any DDPOD don't sing yet. Don't do it. Don't even think about it.

In the meantime, does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? Sorry, but dildo on your mind sounds like a song in your heart. I was going to say, with a song in your heart and a dildo on your mind. I was singing like California on my mind. Yeah. I was singing that. Dildo on my mind.

No. George on my mind? Georgia. Yeah, I'm combining Phantom Planet with a classic song. Phantom Planet is a classic song now. Phantom Planet is a classic to me. Let's go plugless, brother. Yeah, that's unplug.

Unplug like out of it. It's unplug. Thank you. Go offline. All right. With that, we'll go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. you can follow us on social media that we're may right not use

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Mw-a-Muh, M-A. Goodbye, my dearest, sweetheart. That was a hate gum podcast