Not Another D&D Podcast - Holiday Special: 'Twas the Night Before Crickmas

Episode Date: December 20, 2018

Someone is sapping the Crick Elves of their holiday spirit -- can the Band of Boobs stop them and save Crickmas? Moonshine tracks down Calvin and the Chippermunks, Beverly assists Paw Paw in litigation, and Hardwon confronts his most hated enemy. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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["Message of the World"] Welcome back to Bahumi, everyone. Bahumi. Bahumi, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you aumia, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. And a Happy New Year. Okay, yeah.

I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Holiday Boy, Jake Hurwitz. Hard wanna go sure foot. Oh! Oh! Holiday Lady, Emily Axford. Moonshine, Seven, currently cooking up a crock pot of Croquet, eggnog. Ooh!

And Holiday Boy called Waltana. Oh, Beverly Togled the Fifth. Feliz Navi, Dad's. Navi, daddy's. Yeah. Guys, these are my favorite intro. Oh, wow. And you know why else is my favorite intro?

Because we don't have to do a recap. Oh, that's real. This is the crick-miss special. Just dive right in. Yeah, so we're gonna be heading to the crick. Home sweet home, baby. Home sweet home. So just so everyone has a little background on the crick-miss traditions,

since the crick is really kind of an anarchist society. There's Emily and I talked about this before, but there's no Santa who comes and brings presents. The Cric people basically all have a secret Santa who breaks into their house in the middle of the night. And so everybody basically has their own personal Santa who breaks into their stump and leaves presents under their Cric-miss bush.

That's cool. Yeah. It's like breaking and leaving. Yeah. I stress to my if that power is always decentralized in the crick so there would be no one Santa. Right. So this is a crick-miss special brought to you by Arcane. The Grinch now in theaters. Yeah.

Brought to you by Nad pod. You guys see, you guys don't see it. The audience at home sees Ol' Cob sits in a rocking chair next to a roaring fire and a crick-miss bush. An Adirondack cherry mean, right? Yes, yes. He sits in an Adirondack cherry mean, right? Yes, yes. He sits in an Adirondack rocking chair. How close is the bush to the fire?

Very close. I was just about to say. So this bush is this little green and brown bush decorated with lights and ornaments. There's a crude stocking, essentially just a long, dirty sock hanging over the fireplace. The fire is burning so dangerously close to a bunch of very flammable objects.

If Beverly was here, he would pitch a fit. Good to be home. Moonshan would not be able to tell the difference. That tree is not flame retardant. You see the stocking is smoking a little bit, but old cops are sitting there in his chair addressing the camera. Riddle with fire.

You know, they say that's how you know someone's thinking of you on Christmas. If you got a little bit of food from a dangerously close stock into the fire, I to mention all this fire is taking place in a stump. Yes. Yes. We don't got good ventilation in those stumps.

So, all Cobb takes a big deep breath of smoke. And he handles a bunch of smoke. Crick smoke. Yeah, and he looks into the camera and he goes, Oh, hey, I didn't see you there. We here at the Crick love the holidays. It's a time for hospitality, getting steamy in the time out bag, and getting so drunk on Crick water that we can see Melora.

Our people have a lot of stories, but this one, well, this one's a new one, starring our very own band of boobs. Ooh! Oh, that's awesome. And O'Cob pulls out this big storybook and opens it, and then goes to read, but then looks at camera, and he goes, I know what you're thinking.

Crick-Els can't read, right? No, that's a moonshine thing. That's a decision that she may not to learn how to read. I'm a visual learner. We know how to read. I'm a visual learner. We know how to read. I'm a visual learner. We know how to read. Very important for this episode.

Everything is in claymation. Yes. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Oh. OK, so we see a wide shot of the crick as everything is lit up for crickness. The stumps are a light with little arcane

of floating torches that hover, glowing white, nanoflyes turn from yellow to green and red in the winter. The male nanoflyes turn red, the female nanoflyes turn green. So you just see these floating of bulbs throughout the town. That's good shit. Yeah, let's say it's a nanoflime mating season.

So, and then we go into Munchine's stump, which in this fantasy world, it is a big, two-story stump. Ooh! The munchine. And Old Cobb begins reading, and he goes, "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the stump, not a creature was stirring, except maybe a chipper monk. The time out bag hung by the chimney, of course,

in hopes that St. Maribel would drop off some spores. Wow. The boob crew were nestled all in one big bed, while visions of Shae's yoga danced in their heads. Mmm, I'm fakesharing it. Moon shine in her jersey, hard one in his cap. Beverly prayed to the Lord to bless all his dads. When just downstairs arose such a clatter,

the boobs sprang out of Bid to see what was the matter. Hey, what the heck was that? And that's you guys. That was just a trans, actually. I heard something. So you guys are upstairs in this cozy cabin. I think I'm probably like, y'all, it's just our secret Santa, don't worry.

Oh, it's good. Oh, I'll throw off the covers and tear open the sash. Yeah. So are you opening the window or where you go? I want to pick out the window. Okay, I have a literal sugar plum in my head. You look out the window and you hear crick-focues yelling at each other. Hey, stole my Christmas bush! Hey, somebody took a shit in my stockin'!

You took a shit in my stockin you took a shit my stockin Oh my folk are rowdy Is that right? Yeah Are they supposed to take shit in the stockings? Is that normal? Well, it's about the intention when you take the shit Oh sure Yeah, sometimes you're trying to, sometimes it's a spiteful shit

This is a spiteful shit Look at this shit Oh, I look at it and I'm like that is spiteful We better get out there Yeah, no one would take such a runny shit on purpose No, you leave, you're gonna, I look at it and I'm like, that is spiteful. We better get out there. Yeah, no one would take such a runny shit on purpose. No, you leave, if you're gonna, if you're gonna gift a shit, it's gonna be a nice, like, put together once. Yeah, a lot.

And it will run out, I wanna run outside wearing my long, my long crispness. Right, like a long cap. Like a long cap, okay. Oh, I'm definitely wearing like some itchy, woolen long underwear. Sweet, ooh. So you guys go downstairs to the living room I'm definitely wearing like some itchy woolen long underwear. Sweet.

So you guys go downstairs to the living room in moonshine's fancy fantasy stump. And when you get down there, you see that you're in this beautiful living room decorated for crickness. It's extremely cozy. There's a little rug next to the fire. And since Crick Elves do not practice fire safety, it has been going all night. Like I imagine Beverly put it out, then Moonshack got a little cold,

and then came back down through some more blood on the entire fire. It's our night light. It's our night light. Oh, yeah. I noticed that you moved the grate. I'm gonna put the grate back in front here. Wow.

Well, you know, it's, it's, I thought it was great where it was. Thank you very much, I bow. And next to the fire, you see... There's a golf club. You see three chipper monks in Little Red Hats are singing Christmas carols, and they go,

cook, pass, cook, rest time is here. Time for wishes and profitious. We have been good scramble boys. We would like some Christmas toys. Two nannerflies that breed, that breed. I want hospitality.

We can hardly stand up straight. We have to be four. Re-tan. That's Bravo. I shove some popcorn kernels into their mouth, and then I home near the fire so that it bursts open so they get a part. They start spitting out popcorn.

But you guys, you see while you're down here, temporarily distracted by the chipper monks Something right here. Something's a miss. Hmm moonshine. You see that your crick missed bush has been stolen And the rocking chair that Balnor fell asleep in tonight. It's been knocked over and Balnor is gone What now or and your stockings are empty. Moonshine, someone burglared our balnor. Huh. And you hear outside, just cricks or hollering. People are going nuts.

Okay, we're running out. I'm running out and sweet. Well, we're stockings are empty. Those were our little mini bags. Do we see any footprints or any sort of like evidence of who took balnor? Oh, go ahead and. Yeah, I guess we should detect if seen this.

We're Christmas detectives. Oh, yeah, so I guess we should detect if seen this. We're Christmas detective. Yes, we're going to do a little investigate check. 15. Five. Twelve. Okay, I will say with a 15, it looks like the scene here has been staged a little bit. Besides the rocking chair that has fallen over, everything else seems like a little neat. Like there wasn't much of a struggle.

You see one footprint and it's kind of a small foot, like maybe a young in or something. Yeah, I got something dark to ask. Do you think it's possible that Balnor's had enough of us and just left on his own volition? Balnor went full-grinch? Oh my. No. He would never. Itoundor went full-grinch? Oh my. No.

He would never. It wouldn't be Boundor. Boundor loves bags. Christmas is a bag holiday. Yeah. That's what toys come in. It seems like whoever came in here just wanted Boundor. I think he was kidnapped.

None of your Christmas presents are here. But the stockings are empty. Stockings are empty. Stockings are empty. Are the stockings soiled as someone spikedfully shat in our stockings? You look. The stockings are empty. Stockings are empty. Stockings are empty. Are the stockings soiled as someone spikedfully shat in our stockings? You look in the stockings. Your stockings have not been soiled.

Okay. They took everything that mattered to us and Bailnor. Okay, did they take our bag? Yes. No, our bag of holding. The bag of holding because Bailnor. What? Excuse me.

There is some demonic presence in there. So now we have a problem. Can I ask the Chipper monks if they saw who broken entered? By the way, great job boys. That was a moving, I'm hard ones wiping tears. Really wonderful, yeah. Last, last. Did you happen to see who took our small dad?

Well, we've been going around and just singing carols for everybody as they work up. And when we got in here, there was no small dog here. We were just waiting for you guys to come around. So we're just saying little carols for you. Oh, how long were you waiting? Hmm, about an hour. Oh, so sorry. We would have woken up soon. Ah, it's okay, we're in practice.

Okay, so I help yourself to the wet bar though. Yeah, I mean, we got to have a little drink. Fair enough. We got to the the web bar though. Yeah, I mean, you know, they have a little drink Fair enough. They're not a lot of all drunk Honestly, I think it makes you sing better Loading the closer inhibition Well, you know, let's look kind of just lose yourself and the Milo's hook Absolutely, should we should we go outside? Yeah, yeah, let's run out into the street I give them some gorp as a Christmas gift. Can I check the, can I ask I'm exiting? Can I check the windows and doors to see if there's any

evidence of how someone might have gotten in if it was a break in or someone was letting? Here's the thing, Moonshine. I'm on Christmas. I'm Krickmiss Eve. Ye-ang and I lock your door. You know what? Thank you so much for putting me in my place. That is absolutely true. It's like double Halloween. Yeah. And just anytime we say Christmas, know that we make Christmas. Yes, it's all, this is all Christmas.

Yeah. Let's go outside. All right. You guys go outside. Hold on, I put on my, I'm wearing the exact PJs that Kevin McAllister was wearing in Home Alone one. Yeah. And I put a big overcoat on over them.

Beautiful. You guys get outside and all of these cricks are fighting with each other. You see a young and wrestling, Crick Bullywug peeper, like a little bullywug, but they're trying to hurt each other. You took my prisons, I know you took my prisons. I said, I separate them.

I blow a whistle. Yeah, I stand up on a tall stump and I said get it together my folk Someone stole my crick-missed bush. Hey someone stole my crick-missed bush. I Somebody took a shit my stockin again. We all heard you y'all got a shitty stockin We got that no, but somebody shit my stockin too not. Was everybody here the victim of Christmas burglarization? They're like 30 Crick Elves out here that have just like walked outside. Moonshine, your stump is a little bit out

from the grandma tree. Yeah, I like my privacy. You hear arguments and yelling everywhere though. Oh. But like all of your neighbors are outside like what happened? I'll go ahead and give me an insight check. Just Moonshine?

All you guys. Hopefully someone else does better because I got a 13. 13, all right, 16. I got a 17. Okay, wow. So you guys immediately pick up that pretty much everyone had their

crick-miss bushes and their presence stolen, but only the people to like the east of moonshine got their stockings shit in. Oh. Wait, east, I'm trying to remember the crypto. So it's basically like grandma trees, like kinda all the way to the east and you go west to the living wood.

Okay. So long to the east, so it's not the living wood. So it's furthest from the living wood is what's getting shit in. That's where the shit is getting started. And then on the west side, the presence of gotten burgled. Hmm, presence of gotten burgled everywhere. And then suddenly, you guys hear closer to the grandma tree in a certain crick front stump. You hear a bunch of people running out going, Hey, he's got our cr our Christmas bushes! He's got our Christmas bushes!

You guys see Kooter is dragged out by a bunch of other Crick-Elves and Kooter's just going, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, I didn't do it, I wouldn't do this! Did they find him in your stump? You guys rush up to Kooter's stump and you see Petri, one of the many Petri's goes, yeah he took all our Crick-mix bushes. Look, he stumps full of crick-mix bushes.

He's got a bush field stump. Let's check inside. You guys look inside. Kudur stump is full of bushes. Kudur, what about his stalking? I look in, there's nothing in there. Nothing in there. Can I run back?

I wanna kind of do a survey of the scatological content of the stockings. Okay. I wanna see if the shit is the same consistency and if it seems like one offender. I wanna do a nature check maybe? Okay, so you wanna go around and collect shit. Yeah, I wanna collect shit. Yeah.

Okay, I definitely have a scat badge. Okay. So I'll say, they will sing songs of this Beverly. Do you collect, you collect some pieces of shit from like the East? You're here. Yeah.

Carefully put on some gloves. You begin taking. I'm helping him, but I'm not using any gloves. I'm just doing hand gloves. I have gloves. Yeah. I mean, maybe I'll put them on later when I'm not touching all the shit. I'm saying pretty fancy. Good gloves are nice. Yeah, I mean, maybe I'll put them on later when I'm not touching all the shit,

I think pretty fancy. Good gloves are nice. Yeah, gloves are nice. I like kinda wedger me into your bed. The Crick Elves are outside and rowdy right now. So you see a couple of them that have stumps by the east side of the Crick, hold out their stockings. Yeah, they're shit!

They're somebody's shit in my stockings! Hold it up to you. Beverly, go ahead and give me, I feel like you would know Dung pretty well, Bev. Yeah, go ahead and give me an investigate check with advantage, or Mochini can also make a nature check. Ooh, that's gonna be 17. Ooh, that's better than I did, I got a six.

Okay, looks to be Chipper Monk shit. What? All right, let's go back. I'm going back for that little choir Chipper Monks and I'm getting them all a little headlocks. Okay Moonshine, you go back to your stump. The Chipper Monks are not there. Is there shit in the stocking? You look in the stocking and there is bigger shit in there. Oh god. Not chipmunk shit.

What about can I do nature roll to see if this is still a chipmunk? Did you say I could do it? Oh, 20. Not that. 20. Go ahead and give me an Arcona check with advantage. Mm-hmm.

It's a magic shit. 15. You looking at the two different types of shit. Mm-hmm. You get the feeling that maybe those weren't ship amongst. They might have been something else. Ah. That was coming out of its transformation.

A change-o-ling. Oh, Laura! And then you guys go back and you compare the other stockings, look at all the other shit, and you see that the shit gets bigger. It's like glowing creases. What? It gets bigger as it goes from stump to stump. Do you think that it's like acquiring mass? And that's why it shit is getting bigger?

Maybe because we fed it, we fed it, remember? Yeah. Are we feeding it some kind of yeah, give it popcorn Um, but you you do see the Crick Alves are all fighting. They're all super angry at each other Kudra is like trying to defend himself, but nobody believes it. Oh, man. All right, hey Kudra you look like a kind of guy who needs a lawyer You see whatever happened to innocent till proven guilty everybody.

That's right, you listen to them. Ah, who cares about them? They saved the cranky son of a bitch. They start punching each other. Like, people who were attacking Kooter, but defending you are fighting people who were attacking Kooter, but attacking you, just like everyone's fighting with each other.

We're gonna get to the bottom of this. I pick up a pine cone, and I say, I cast cone of truth. Cool, you cast zone of truth on Kooter. Kooter, enter this truth circle with me. Yeah, sure, why not? But you do not need to take your clothes off to enter the truth circle.

I mean, I'd rather, I feel like I should do it just to be safe. What I don't want to get my clothes in front of you. Whatever you are comfortable with, okay. All right. Now, for the benefit of everyone here, did you or did you not steal those bushes? I did not steal those dang bushes. See, in the light of Polora with Melora looking on,

as is Aid, he did not steal the bushes. And now, cross examination. Yeah. Pop-pop. Great. See you pop-pop. Walking back and forth. He did not steal the bushes and now cross examination Pop-pop walk back and forth Where am I wait? We are on the other side. I have no idea The way that um Crick court, you know what let's make this formal so you see some of the cricket

You see a few of the old folks from the old folk circle come over and they're like hey, okay Let's do this the rot way co Kooter deserves an actual defense. Every CrickLift gets a defense. Y'all can be his defense team. She points to the band of boobs and pines. I'm minor illusion suits on all of us. Pop US got a little bow tie now. You guys are all wearing suits.

You guys go over to the speaking stump and this woman, this older Crick L from the old folk circle, stands next to the stump and goes, all Ross for the honorable judge Mama. And you see Mima and Mama walk out. Mima looks just like tired that all the people are fighting. You could tell she's been trying in curlers. Yeah, she was like in bed for the nice. Well, it's going, y'all are crazy. I want Mama to also have her hair in curls. Yeah, Mama also has her hair in curls. She's like, pardon my appearance. Fellow Crick elves. You look absolutely

immaculate my queen. Thank you, my champion. All right, everyone. No everyone no makeup hashtag please be seated Well all those who have a complaint against the defendant please stand up and shout at him Stand up And mama turns to Kudar and goes, defendant, Kudar, these are the charges that have been filed against you. Piled. Would you like a trial by Rasslin

or just a regular talking one? And Kudar goes, I want a regular talking one because I didn't do it. I've an exhibit to enter. You are doing this correct. Thank you for acknowledging quick tradition and just yelling out when you have evidence. I got an exhibit.

Just jumps up on the stomach. Y'all will pass around and exhibit. And that is exhibit shit. Which is the pass around a handful of the shit. Everyone, take a sniff. This shit is from, isn't it? Not from a Cric El. Part one starts passing out the shit with no gloves.

I'm trying to pass out as many gloves as I can, but I know y'all. I know y'all. I know y'all have stepped in some chipper monk shit before. This is chipper monk shit. Look around. It's so unprofessional. It's literally passing around evidence through the crowd. They're all passing around.

They pull out these little pellets. Yet, I mean, it kinda looks like chipmunks. Why would the chipmunks kelvin in the petries wouldn't do this? kelvin the petries in the chair. I think Kooter would do it. Kooter would do it before. Kooter can't make chipmunks shit out that boat hole.

That's right. Kooter would do it right now. They can show a spot hole. Take a shit right now and show everyone that y'all don't shit Cheep among shit. Uh, all right You see Kudair goes to the curtain you fashioner curtain Bucket real quick

Kudair goes bucket into a bucket and he comes back out see pass that around I didn't make them will pellets Oh, that is right. It's so big It's very big and you wouldn't have been able to do this if you'd also shit in the other stockings So try no one has this much ever I think that that proves our point and you see pop-off I think that that proves our point. And you see, pop-off, ever the professional lawyer, he's just pouring over some books, walks over and grabs

one of the Chipper Monk pellets. He's got a little nugget in his hands. Don't eat it. And he presses it and it pops and it turns into bigger shit. What? Some kind of illusion. Rare. Rare, rare. Can we do have we done in our kind of House balls over the crew everyone's like, huh? What's he saying? I don't understand it

Right here just let him talk it out y'all You see mom just gets everything and it's just nodding an illusion Well, the cooters not capable of performing some kind of illusion, and Kooter goes, yeah, and if I was going to steal something, why would I just steal a bunch of bushes? The presents are missing. You could search my stump, your son's a bitch. I don't call me son of a bitch.

You're son of a bitch. Hey, we got to say mama, we got to say that. Oh, you walk around like, you know who your daddy is. They're all just wrestling. All right, all right. Everyone, push up. I'm a cast of fourth level low-key creature on them chipper monks.

Ooh. I wanna find Kelvin. You wanna find Kelvin. Specifically the Kelvin that I just had an interaction with. Okay, so you know Calvin, Calvin and the chipper monks, every year come around and do perils. Are you looking for Calvin?

Are you looking for who was in the stuff? Just talk to. The Calvin that you just talked to. Munchan, you've met this Calvin before. The one that we met seem often anyway. Seemed pretty straightforward. But you, for Calvin and the Chipper monks to shit in a shopping.

Yeah, see that's not okay. They wouldn't do that. Moonshine, you get the sense that this Calvin is heading west to the living wood. West. All right, y'all, I think a hot pursuit heading west. I think we let this trial play out out here and we go get on the heels of this Kelvin imposter.

Let us go round up some witnesses. Yeah, put on your Christmas best. You see pop off, walks out into the middle of the stompingos. Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, he kind of chats with Mama like a lawyer talking to the judge. Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian, there's a hush over the crowd and she goes, I will grant the defense a recess. We'll meet back here in one hour. She knocks her little gap.

That's so small. Ram. And Pop-O just looks so stressed out and he turns to you and we're trying to go, Ram. Ram, Ram, Ram. Ram. Ram, Ram.

Don't worry, Pop, I'm on it. Ram. I'm on it. He motions to you like he needs to stay with Kudra and talk to his client. Absolutely. You are the height of professionalism and I would never stand in the way.

We're gonna beat the charge. We're gonna beat the charge, Pa Pa. Rainier, Rainier, Rainier, and Kudra goes, thank y'all so much. I did not steal these bushes. Why would I steal a bush? It's stupid. Yes, sure, there's bushes everywhere.

It's stupid and fucking weird. Kudra, I trust you. All right, I gotta talk to my lawyer. You kicked the rock and you're gonna kick these charges. Thank you, he's 500 an hour, by the way. Let's go. Oh, go ahead. All right, I got 17 kids.

It's gonna be tough for the same. 500 crawfish. Pop-up is very rare. And you see Pop-up and Kudder walk off, but you see the vibe at the Cric is not very cricknessy right now. Everybody's just at each other. Are you saying that we need to save Crickness? You just might need to save Crickness.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. A lot for some dainty shoulders. As you guys start walking off, you see Mimaw comes and walks over to you guys and joins you as you're walking west and she goes, uh, so no pressure y'all, but we do need to find out what's going on because something definitely ain't right. And um, the M-mo of the cricks gets her powers by the hospitality of her people. And right now I've gone from can trip to can't trip. She goes, oh she tries to, you know she's like a near like level 20 druid. She

goes to hold up her hand to try to cast just like a can trip and it just fizzles out. Oh my gosh this is a bad berry. It's a bad, I can't even make it good berry. She's made a bunch of bad berries. Made some bad berries, yeah. This is so tragic, they went after my Mimo. They lost the crick-missed spirit. Oh, Mimo, we gonna get you bad power back. Y'all somebody needs to save crick-miss. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it! We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. All right, we're heading in hot pursuit of them,

shipper monks. You're heading in hot pursuit of the shipper monks. Then faux shipper monks. Go ahead and give me a, I guess, like an investigate check or a nature check or something, you're trying to like track people through the woods. Ooh, I got a 22. 22. Ooh, great. I'll follow Moons. Ooh, I got a 22. 22.

Ooh, great. I'll follow Moonshine, I got a three. Yeah. Mine's not higher than that. Okay, so Moonshine, you use the power of your spell, the locate creature. You find approximately where they were at one time and you do see along the way.

Like somebody was dragging a bag full of presents. You see that some of the grass is pushed down. There's just this like kind of big wide path for a little bit. Every once in a while, you'll run into like a crick-miss toy or a nanofly pie laying out like over the ground. Can I say that for the duration of this, we are all writing on

reindeer that I have summoned? Oh yes. Okay. What is the Crick equivalent of a reindeer? It's probably like a real nasty moose. Yeah. A gunk moose? Yeah a bunch of gunk mooses. So you're all writing gunk. Yeah I'll say with one summon steed you can each have a gunk. We could also ride gators. Oh, it's whichever y'all prefer. Are they gators with antlers? Yeah. Yeah. And our gators. Horn gators. Yeah. Forty gators. Angels.

Angels. Gantr lopes. Cool. Gantr lopes. Great. Gator lopes. So you guys, um, already burned two second levels, but I've burned my fourth level. You've burned your fourth level, very funny. So you guys are tracking this path through the woods, but eventually it gets a little bit harder to track.

You see the occasional little piece of a toy train or something. All Cricmus gifts are always personal and handmade for the people that they're giving it to, from Crick to Crick. But eventually, you kind of stop seeing people around you, but with that role, you do run into your old friend Joe the praying mantis, who's wearing a teeny little Crick Miss sweater. He walks out and he goes, oh hey, my Chan. How are you Mr. Mayor? Oh, good to see you. Good to see you, hard on. Joe, I'm looking at your sweater, it says mo mo mo.

That's so nice. Yeah. Yeah, it's got a little pop-up clothes. I like pop-up, where's pop-up? Pop-up is guys some, he's working on Craig's message. He's working on Craig's message. He's not into, didn't intend to, but it happens.

Yeah, my wife tried to kill me tonight. What? Yeah, it's happened. I'm praying, man, just so it happens from time it happened. Yeah, my wife tried to kill me tonight. What? Yeah, it's happened. I'm praying, man, just so it happens from time to time. Oh, I see. Also, she was a little bit more vicious than usual. You know, she tried to, usually they just try to chop your head off this time.

She was trying to go from bottom up. So I took, I would have like extra pain. I would have a painful death. Who would do something that terrible? I don't, someone who lost their Krickman spirit, I'll tell you what. Oh, the Lord seems as though the critters of this fine nation are getting some bloodlusts.

It's a cursed critters, yeah. Cursed critters. Joe, where's your wife now? My wife? Well, she's back at our little, wherever praying man is. This is the life. Probably in the city.

We live in a teeny little cave. Yeah, like a little hole. Maybe we go talk to your wife. Maybe we go talk to your wife. You want to go, I would love for her to blow off some steam if y'all want to go talk to my wife. That's fine. Yeah, you, you know, head to the bar.

All right. Head to the bar. Grab a pipe. I'm off to the book bar. Say it like a y'all. Merry Christmas. Oh, man, he's going to drink something. Joe's going to drink something. Joe's gonna drink

something out of a thimble. I just know it. A little Joe scampers off. All right. Should we head should we should we keep him pursuit of these chipper monks or should we investigate his wife? I want to talk to the bugwights. I think the chipper monks are the culprit. Yeah. You might be right. You didn't ask Joe about the chipper monks or anything. You just said to him off to go to the little bar. And said that you would talk to his wife. His story was a bit distracted. His wife tried to kill him, but in a mean way.

Wait, should we talk to his bug wife? I feel like we should talk to his bug wife. Are we gonna lose trail of the chip of monks? Potentially. Joe doesn't live to that far away. Joe was like out on, you get in a fight with your significant other and you go for a walk Alright Joe. Joe is out for a walk. We'll catch up with Joe This episode of NAD pod has brought to you five bird dogs

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Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. You're gonna run after a job. We should ask him about the 7 bucks. Okay, okay, we catch up with him. Before you go, one quick thing. You see any chipper mugs around here? Chipper mugs.

Hmm. I mean, yeah. You see chipper mugs all the time. You see any chipper mugs around here? Chipper mugs. Hmm. I mean, yeah. See, chipper mugs all the time. You see any actin' suspicious? Any actin' suspicious? Not where. I did not a character runnin' this way, that. No, all I sayin' out here tonight, there were. What about the carolers, Calvin and the,

you see one with a big seat? And the carolers. I haven't seen Calvin and the carolers, they, only people I saw out here that, I hadn't seen in a while, we're, saw a few gnomes carrying a big bag. I fucking knew it. Goodness.

I figured there's some kind of travel with her or something. Oh, it is in the direction. It's ginger claw. Where is that vermin? He extends a claw to like the Northwest. All right. We just, we have book it.

I freaking knew it. Hard one kicks his gunk moose You guys start heading northwest You go in the direction that Joe pointed I'm just realizing they are crocodiles with antlers No, he's on a gunk moose. No, no, I'm on a crocodile. I think that's what they're called They're called gunk moose, but they're a crocodile with antlers. Okay, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yes, you guys are all in these frightening steeds. I wish per curse words and to musty-ears. It makes them run so fast.

I run my hand along as ridges. So you guys follow where Joe told you to go. And eventually it leads you to the cave that Meribel used to meditate in. Uh-oh. And outside there are gnomes playing. They're just like destroying toys, just jumping on top of them and stuff. Tee-hee, tee-hee, that's rude. You also see tied up there is balnor.

They're just walking over and like kicking him for fun. Tee-hee, tee-hee, y'all. So weird massacre. Yeah, I draw my axe. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and real quick, maybe cast something, loosen them up. You see that? Yeah, there are three gnomes there,

and you see Boundoar is super fucked up and tied up. Can we just charge in on our gunk mese and go in javilan's ablazing? Yeah, do they get the tag? I'm going to stealth check if you guys are like sneaking up on them. I got a 16, 16, 13. I got a 11. 11, okay, they got a 14 on their perception check.

These are large creatures. So you see as soon as you guys kind of start poking your heads out to get a better look, like readying yourself to go in a new attack, you see the gnomes look up at you and go, he he, there they are, catch us if you can. And you see they turn into little chipmunks and skitter off into the cave. Yeah, damn it.

Okay, I cast this spell magic. Okay, you cast this spell magic on them and they just go, oh no, we don't get to be a chipmunk, something more. They turn back into gnomes and continue running into the cave. I missed you step to meet them. You missed you step. You arrive in the mouth of the cave

and you see the gnomes go and hide behind a figure. You see in this cave, you guys had been in this cave before this is where you found the cursed book. There are like the old candelabras and stuff, but you see the cave is full of crick-missed presence. This is where they all are. How they grinched up this dang cave. And you see the gnomes are hiding behind a figure.

A tall, high elf in silver armor covered in chains with a slight green tint to his skin and he goes hello Beverly what the fuck and it is glad Rosal no how can it be your dead the all-ah resurrected me but she said she'd only restore me if I could prove my worth, and I will. I will ruin Krickmas, destroy the hospitality of the Krick elves, and cripple the meme of the Krick. This is so petty, man. Yes, I hate you. I hate you and your friends.

These gnomes, they agreed to help me just as long as they could shit in stockings. They're just awful little creatures creatures and you hear them go, Teehee, Teehee. And you're paling around with them? I'm not paling around with them. They're just my allies for now. No, y'all are like besties. If we're not besties.

Can I look at Goliath and say, I'm so sorry, this is probably so hard for you to see. And I take Rosalene out of my hilt to show her a little bit. It's my sword. Really? Because I'm pretty sure she answers to me now. I kiss it.

Don't do that. I kiss it more. I do that, you can get a jubber. I nibble it, I tweak it. I can get a jubber. I fucking go down on it. You can. Don't go down on her.

She needs to be. She needs to be. Oh my God. She needs to be. Oh my God. She needs to be pure. She needs to be pure. You are bleeding. And how are you doing, heartbund? I'm just so sorry you got resurrected and she didn't do anything to fix your deviated septum. You see? Yeah, he's got this light green skin now and chains all around him. He's wrapped up in chains. He looks like the

Aula brought him back but he's like punishing him for failing. And he goes, all of this crick-biz celebration goes against the true meaning of the holidays. So barely worshipping the light and not having sex. I make out with a sword again. Don't stop. No. Those two gnomes are having sex right now. Tuhuh, tuhuh. They're just fucking each other. I'm helping the sword.

Stop. Stop, I'll be by your sword. We're all getting on this. Uh, uh, uh. And you see Galad goes, let's show the trick, the true meaning of Christmas. And you see Galad pushes past you guys out into the woods, and he goes, on Razor Light. And you see his Griffin appears out of thin air, but now it looks like sickly like a weird demon Griffin attached to a sleigh. And Galad hops in it, and he goes to take off into the sky. I'm gonna deliver religious pamphlets to the prick.

Oh, that's so lame. You're gonna have the best Christmas ever now. Are the guys- Can- Everybody roll initiative, though. Okay. Ooh. 15. I got a one, but I get to reroll that,

because it's a lucky Christmas day. 10. I got an 11. Okay, get to reroll that because it's a lucky Christmas day. Uh, 10. I got an 11. Okay, so you guys have entered combat, Boundor, knocked the fuck out on the ground, tied up, by the way, and Galad just goes, I didn't even tell them to take anybody. They just did that because they're sick. I didn't mean to be re-bite curtain people. Ah, man.

Uh, and Galad acts first. Glad hops into his sleigh with razor light and begins taking off and with a full dash action, I'll say he gets about 60 feet up in the air. That is Moon Shines turn. I can't wait to deliver these pamphlets. Everyone will see the true meaning of the light and the aloe make my skin not green. Give me a sword

Did the pamphlets have comics in them? No? Still all the presents you want, but if you deliver these pamphlets, you'll officially ruin Christmas I would like to cast jump on myself, which I believe I can't find my card right now It's I think it triples my jump. Okay, which would mean that my jump is almost 60 feet. Yeah I'll let you roll doing acrobatics or athletics check to try to grab the bottom of the sleigh. Okay, that's what I'm trying to do. Nice.

So I cast jump in myself and then jump into the air. It won't be too hard because you're already doing jumps, so I'll just say DC 10 acrobatics or athletics check. 15! 15, and Moodside, you leap up with arcane energy. The crick-mouthed spirit guides you you and you grab the bottom of the sleigh Let no get off stop You can also spores or something if you'd like and then I will spores him only for six because I am not currently

And also enter a rage. Okay, yeah, rage as my bonus action. SMART WEATS. That is the NOMES turn. You see the two NOMES that were fucking each other. Let's take a little break. Let's kill these guys and then fuck it down. That'll be fun. Oh boy. So the two guys come forward. I'll say one will go after hard one and one will go after Beverly.

So they have. These are fucking beastly known that in the Tomb of Beast's red caps. I'm looking at the picture. I'm so glad. So one goes forward and tries to bite you with these dirty, horrifying teeth. Oh. Shout out to the two crew. A. Misses with his bite. Oh, butee-Tee. Oh. Oh. Shout out to the two crew. A, Mrs, with his bite.

Oh, but he makes two pikes attacks. He makes three hits at the same. Three hits at the same. This is insane. You have noxious little piece of shit. Pee-hee-hee-hee. He hits with the pike for how did you produce that much shit? 12 damage.

Yeah, how did they? What would they eat in all day? And then next hit is 18 hit. Does that mean hit doesn't hit? Okay, misses with the pike hard one. This other guy goes after you. I just bite you. Is that the one that was fucking you're getting fucked?

Uh-huh. You know, they were going back and forth, honestly. Yeah. Also looking at each other. They're 69 and they were going at it. No, they were just facing each other really respectfully. They were both standing up and just fucking at each other. Oh, great.

The first cool thing I see in a gnome do. They take their two pike attacks, misses, and hits for eight damage. And then you see the third gnome just goes, Teehee, I'm making people sad. And he pulls out a match and he just lights the Christmas toys on fire. You little asshole. You're a monster. That is hard one. I go after the one that fucking lit the toys on fire. I'm gonna kill you first. I'm gonna kill you first. 12. Not gonna hit.

You see he nimbley dodges that away. See he would cure and funny. I'll take a second to attack at him. You're not funny. 16. 16 hits. Gotta read the audience a little better. 12 damage.

He's pretty hurt, but he's not. These are pretty hardy gnomes. Cool. That is Bev's turn. All right. You see Glad and Moonshanner flying away. Are there any trees that are that's all? They're certainly trees. Can I enchant a tree to grow vines and grapple razor light? Oh, interesting. We're at the quick. So imagine there's a lot of mangrove trees. Here, let's just roll a total luck check. And I'll say, go ahead and roll 11 through 20.

There's like a tree ant in the area that you can just like, Oh my God. 11 through 20 and green shade is nearby. Okay. Whoa. It's a 16. Oh, baby, man.

If you go to like, in chant a tree and suddenly you see it kind of like, startles away and goes, oh, fuck! Was everybody making so much noise? It's a cliche. It's a cliche. Hey, what's up, man? How you doing?

Hey, Merry Christmas, man. Hey, could you just like, raise your hands in the air and swat around a little bit? Yeah, sure, why not, man. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He'll go and take an attack at, uh. Does this such a cute, green night move to be like this, like, why not, man. He'll go and take an attack at... Does this such a cute green knight move to be like this like one with the trees?

Yeah, that looked great. Sure, he'll go up and he'll just take an attack on, yeah, and I mean, we established that he hangs out near Olkop's tree, so fucking green shade is just here. This, he's good, he's a hell of a lot better than a Griffin. He does fucking 12 damage with a slam attack, just like batters, razor light, moonshine. You feel the whole slay start to move.

I mean to it, let's do it. Second attack misses, and he takes a third attack, and he also misses, he rolled a three and a four. But Bev, you can still take a turn. You can do an action stuff. And you see, green shade goes, I think he's gonna fly away, man. Do you want a boost? Absolutely.

Can you give me, I wanna do an aerial launch. Just if you can, could I speed down? I'll have him do a strength check to launch you, and I'll even let you get an attack. All right, great. So he holds his tree hands out to grab you as you rush towards him. He rolls a fucking that 20 Launches you right at whoever you want to hit

Glad however as I'm in the air. I like run my fingers along my sword to activate the wetstone power Beautiful I flip it to the end and I just want to yeah I think I'm going to go for Razer Light. It's going to just last. Oh, shoot. OK, go ahead. Make this a tackle with advantage because he got an at 20.

So he threw you like fucking perfectly. That alley, you. He just got a net 20. Oh my god. If you divine smite, you'll do double that damage, too. No, I'm going to. It's a crick-missed miracle. A crick-missed. Oh, we shit. All right

So 15 9 18 oh boy, what is that 42 somehow that's 42 damage Jesus Razor light is on death's door so close to dead am I writing late razor light now? Yeah, you can grab with I'll say with fucking right now. Yeah, you can grab with, I'll say with a fucking green shade, not 20. You grab onto Razer Light and stab. And stab into it. Not 40. Yeah, two not 20s in a row. You stab into Razer Light while you're riding him and glad goes, no, Razer Light. Wait, Razer Light's undead. Yes. I take another D.H. That's going to be, oh, that's just a normal D.H. That's going to be um, oh, that's just a normal D. That's four more damage four more damage. Okay, uh, Fraser light is barely okay. Oh, you have a second attack. Oh my god

I know you're gonna give it to me, but yeah, no, I mean yeah, you get it All right, that's gonna I think that's gonna hit the 16 plus 8 24. Certainly hits. That's going to be 15 damage. Oh, dude. Finish. Razer life. Oh, I know where you're gonna make us crash. I always hate to do this.

Okay, you know what I do? I lift my sword and I pray to Blore and I'm like Send this creature to the place it deserves to be and then I Drive my sword right through the base of its brain and then I attempt to like steer it like a joystick into a safe landing Okay, hey, it's Christmas. Um, go ahead and give me I guess if oh my god You're gonna try to just like stat like, like, I'm sullying it. You're trying, okay, you're trying to sullie him. I'm, go ahead and give me, I guess a dexterity check or an intelligence check.

Okay. I'll say DC 15 to land it safely. Or else you guys just crash, you fall six feet. Yeah. That's an 11. That's okay. Y'all aren't gonna die from this. Okay.

But you, yeah, you stab into razor light. You do see that it frees it from its bond with galad. And you see vines and green energy go around and you see it disappears in a poof. You can imagine that it maybe went back to the Feywild. It's like a little, a major in Feycree. But then moonshine, Beth and Glad are gonna fall 60 feet in the slay and have a horrible crash.

Glad's crickmus is not going the way he wanted it to. You guys take 32 damage as you crash into the ground brutally. Hard one. You just see in the, you're fighting these gnomes, you see in the distance, the griffin disappears and you just see the sleigh with all of your friends on it just falling out of the sky.

That doesn't look good. That is back around to glad. You guys, really puts you burning a tiny train into perspective for me. You should have hoped your friends. Yeah. I'm gonna throw you. You're obnoxious though.

I think you did the right thing, Hardwon. They're a mere... Respect you. They're God damn menist. That is Gladstern. On Gladstern, you see four of his chains animate and dance around him. They've got like hooks on him. And he's gonna go ahead and start making some attacks.

First he makes an attack against Beverly. You see he's got, he already had like two chains that he was spinning around. Chains are my thing now. You're trying to reinvent yourself, that's so sad. Yeah, I figured new body, new me. Strike new. Strike new?

It's like a Marley thing, but also a Grinch thing. I thought you got to pick a lane, but. So he, oh my god, he crits on the first chain attack against him. Dang, this is crit miss, y'all. So it is crit miss. So he does 15 damage on the first attack. To who? To Beth.

The target is grappled if Gladys not already grappling another creature. I'm grappled. So you're gonna make a saver. You don't, you have to escape it. So it wraps around you if it hits. Then he's gonna take another chain attack at you, misses with that one,

but then you see these four animated change. Each one of them comes in. Oh. One misses, two misses, three hits, for another 11 damage, and the fourth one goes and hits for nine damage. Y'all, I'm looking pretty bad. You're gonna die on Cricmas.

Oh, not the way you want to do it. You should have read the pamphlets or everywhere. No, this is like a beautiful sleigh. You see his sleigh, it's like all of these light pamphlets. Like, what can Theola do for you? Are spilled all over the thing. After his turn, he uses his minor action and his movement to pick them up and put them back in the bag.

Dying on Christmas, it's like one of those sad country music songs. Moonshine, that's your turn. You're just like phased down in the dirt, probably like 10 feet away from the crash scene. But Beth's looking hurt. Beth's looking hurt, yeah. Major hurt. All right, I gotta heal.

Glad's looking a little, I mean, glad just crashed for like 30 damage and he's got no threads. He's got no one to heal him. Oh, okay. He's not on Death's Door, but he's not like great. Then maybe I'll lighten him, Voldem. Do it. You.

I'm gonna lighten him, Voldem. All right, yeah, so he's gotta do Dexterity Savin' Throw or I'll send a bunch of damages away. Cool. 19. That's gonna save. Okay. All right, still takes half.

37, half of that. 37, half of that. 37, half of that, okay. So like 18. Damn. Moonshot, you call lightning down. Hits glad. You see all of his chains are like a light with lightning. Moonshot, you mean like an Arcona check?

Or an Arcona save or something? 16. 16, okay. Bev, you only take a quarter of that damage. What? But you see some of the lightning goes down the chain. Oh, because he's grappled on the chain. Yeah, so I was saying that to six damage to him.

Six damage to Bev? Yeah, I'm out, I'm dead. Bunking mother bugger! Bev is a little, you laid the trash. You're in it, you're in noem. Oh no! Tiddy, Tiddy. I touched the Christmas bulb and it was burned out and I died!

Ah! That is the gnomes turn. You see the gnomes, there's three of them. Hard one, you are in this nightmare scene. You are with these three terrifying gnomes who look cute on first inspection, but they have blood all over their fist from beating Boundor all night.

And then they have these like rancid yellow teeth and you're in this burning cave full of Toys that are on fire. They look like the Rudolph elves, but just like fucked up. Yes Little fucker you beat the man who holds our bag First guy's gonna take a bite at ya you beat our personal Santa and hits for 16 damage It's gonna take two Pike Attacks and hits with one. Nine damage. Second guy makes a Bite Attack, misses, Pike Attack misses, last Pike Attack hits 12 damage.

Next guy makes Ui! Hits with both of his Pike Attacks. 12 damage, nine damage, and then tries to bite you and misses. Cave burning around you, hard one. That is hard one, Stern. I hate you, fuckers. So much. This is fun. Okay.

This is the best Greek fist for the forever ha! This is my nightmare. I'm gonna swing my axe at the at the guy I guess the guy that I heard. Yeah, the one that I heard sweet. 25 to hit that hits. Nine damage. Cool. I'll second attack on him. Cool. 25 to hit again. That hits. 12 damage. He's looking pretty hurt, but not on that story yet. I'm going to unbraid my beard. Ah! Oh! Shake it out, trying to look like a young Santa.

And use my action surge. Do you need an action surge? It gets nonz! Yeah, you little fucker, 21. That is. 14. Ah, cool. He sees very hurt. I'm on dead. No, shit. Uh, 13. Uh, blocks it with his pike. very hurt Oh, dead. No shit

13 blocks it with his pike. Oh sorry man This is gonna take you three turns to kill a single no As a bonus action maybe I'll use a second win. Can I that's a bonus second wind? Yeah, I said bonus action Just go all out on one no that Best turn give you a death saving throw on crick-miss Yeah, that's a bonus section. Just go all out on one no. That is best turn. Give me a death saving throw on Christmas. Oh, dead on Christmas. I'll take that.

It's an 18. Cool, that's one save. That is back around to Galad. You see he pulls his chain back and begins taking chain attacks at moonshine Thanks for helping me kill your friend one miss Three misses

God damn it four misses Five misses I've rolled under a ten I say is this quick miss or miss miss I've rolled under a 10 by the attack. Is this Krickmiss or Miss Miss? Oh! From the grave, I say, looks like you have a little Swiss Miss. He does hit on the last one for 12 damage. And you are grappled by the chain. Grapiled by the chain.

Blah, drawn on in. Is there anything I can do because I've got strength and stuff like that because I'm a barbarian right now? Oh, so I actually only take half of that, right? I only take six, right? Yeah, it's slashing damage. Yeah. Cool.

So the chains are wrapped around you. You can use your action on your turn to get un-grappled. Also, grapple just means your speed is zero, so you can still cast a spell on them. You can touch the thing and do lightning, like you can do lots of fun stuff. That is Mocha and Stern. Mocha and get this metal wrapped around you.

All right, I'll do a healing word on Beb. Actually, if that's the case, then I'm just gonna use my action to get un-grappled. Oh, cool. It's DC 14 Strength Check to get out. Okay. You should have four. I have Advantage on Strength Check.

Nice. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, um, I have advantage on string checks nice Will it be 20? Well still that Okay, I'm not gonna get out okay, and then all healing word young Bev for third level. What is the word? The word is Merry Christmas And a happy stew year. For 14. Oh, nice. Cool, Bev pops back up.

I had a dream about Galad, but he was furry and green, and he had a big belly and a dog with an antler. And there was a bunch of weird little mouse people around. Let know this is completely original. The only one who's ever tried to ruin Cricmas. This is my thing. All of this is original. The chains, the green skin, it's all real.

Dream sounds cool, real is worse. My dream was directed by Ron Howard. Then that is the gnome stern. You also notice, Bev, you especially, because you're a paladin, you're in tune with all these evil good forces and everything. Oh, I also am my turn to spores him. Oh, Bev, you especially, because you're a paladin, you're in tune with all these evil good forces and everything. Oh, I also, on my turn, is Forrestam. Oh, okay, sweet.

For only six, because I'm not in Pable Mode. Um, glad's looking pretty hurt. I mean, he looks like his life sucked before this, this new life sucks. Um, he exists super-encrickness. Bev and Moonshan, you guys notice just being around glad makes you feel like shit. That was true before. It makes you, crickness. Bev and moonshine, you guys notice just being around glad makes you feel like shit. Like it makes you grumpy.

That was true before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true before. There's like a little bit of an magic effect going on. You think that like the spirit of Christmas is being sucked from us. Yes. That is the Nomes turn.

Let me tell you guys how I thought this was gonna play out. I thought you guys were all gonna jump on the sleigh and the Nomes were gonna be a be a non thing instead it turned into Three gnomes beating the fuck out of hard one by himself Fireball cave bring it on come on He hits were you okay hits with his bike? 14 damage I'm okay, but they are they each have three fucking attacks It hits with a missing around with one of his pike attacks for 11 damage

The other two go first guy Misses with his first pike attack, but hits with this second one for 12 damage It goes to take a bite hit 15 damage. I hate gnomes so much. And then the third one goes, takes two pike attacks, misses with both, takes his bite attack, and misses. That is hard one, you have one gnom that's really

hurt the other one's still look healthy. I'm so hurt, okay, I'm gonna shake this off pretend that it's not happening. Not getting my ass. This is all happening. You see just everything burning around you. They're just dancing in the fire. I must be in Bebson nightmare. I'm gonna take my I'm just doing my acts at the hurt one.

Sweet. 22 hits. 22 hits. 11 damage. 11 damage. 11 damage. Hard one. Finish him. Thank fucking God. I sling my axe back behind my back and I just kick it in the head so hard. You see he was laughing until the end. He dies with a six-spiral on his face.

And like, Chuckie at the end of a movie is just just this terrifying, happy little guy burning in the fire Oh, can I like kick his kick his teeth off you kick it like you know, yeah, they fly off, but they're smiling. Yeah Cool did I get to clip into another one at all? Yeah, you didn't one damage to another guy. All right my toe hit that one So I'll use my second attack on that guy I'm gonna use my luck point because I only rolled the seven. And now I rolled the n8. Does a 17 hit.

Does. Woo! Oh, this little guy was hit. He rolled in the one 11 damage. 11 damage? Not that little, you're hurting me a lot. First try! Oh and as a bonus action is Bev's amulet hanging.

Now Bev went off into the woods. Cool. Then that is my turn. Cool. That is Bev's turn. Oh, great. Moonshine, how are you doing on health? Oh, I mean, I'm hurting, but it'll be fine.

I can look at your amulet. Glad to look in. Glad to look in pretty hurt. All right, well, as a bonus action, I'm gonna look at my amulet. Okay, sweet. Oh, okay, I got 36 back. All right, well as a bonus action, I'm gonna look at my amulet. Okay, sweet. Oh, okay, I got a 36 back, I'm at 40 nights. Nice, good feeling healthy.

Yeah, good boy. I have a rosy glow to my cheeks once more. Mm-hmm. And I'm not fucking around anymore. It's time for a divine smite. Okay, it's time to give what I got from Galenciro's L. Does 11 hit hit does not. Okay.

Does a natural 20 hit. First round. Oh my goodness, Mary. It is very Christmas everybody. Happy Christmas Harry. Into all a good fight. Oh nice. So that's 19 damage from my normal attack.

Bev, finish him. Woo! Is Moon Shine here? Yeah, Moon Shine's there. Moon Shine's there. Moon Shine's there. Connected to one of his chains. All right, here's what I do. I want to kick the chains off Moon Shine, sweet.

I grab her hand. I use nature's wrath to some in vines, but since it's Christmas, they are Christmas reeds. It's Holly. It's Holly. The vines envelop him. A portal to hell opens up and you suck downwards into hell. No I worshiped the light. This isn't the real Christmas. There's a war on quickness. Say hi to Agerat. No. Thank you for this new brother.

Enjoy eating Chinese food on Christmas. No, you think we'd be friends, but I hate it. Just watch a movie or something. You're not going to celebrate it all. We're going to freaking hang out the whole time. Yeah, you see Agerat comes up and starts pulling him down. I'm going to make him use the second controller and be my little brother I'm gonna steal lives from him in Ninja Turtles to the arcade game

Galactic pulled into hell Never get tired of beating that guy That we say that the portal to hell is still emitting like a Christmas light glow. Yeah, no. There's like a little bit of like red around it. Yeah. Yeah. Like an Aurora Borealis in the sky. Yeah. Munchain, that's your turn. Uh, we still going. I'm just gonna run back and heal a hard one. Okay. You run back towards the cave. Did you need an amulet, Gander? Oh my, I guess I forgot to do it.

I'll run with you and you can do it on the way. Okay, so I'll use my bonus action to gander the amulet. I will cure wounds, hard one for my final third level. Okay. And then I will also spore one of these gnomes. Oh, hey, I did. Glad I offered a suck your dick when you tried to kill him. He didn't, you know? That's pretty rude. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We got these little fuckers. 21. 21. So, Bevin Moonshine rushing to this cave,

that is the gnomes turn. There are two left. Tuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh That's 12 on the one pike attack makes a second attack hits And 12 damage Okay, and then the other guy is gonna take two cracks at you. We're gonna touch it a hell with us I feel like I'm already there. We're not planning on matching it out of your life Oh, and he hits any crits secrets. He crits and he hits it's Christmas after all first attack is nine damage And then crit attack is 16 damage. Oh, I'm down. You're down.

He still has a bite attack. He's gonna take a bite attack. Is he one of you down? Hard one. He hits at you. Auto crit to death fails. Oh, geez. He crit on his bite attack?

Yeah. Jesus. No, you auto crit on guys who are on the ground a few hits. Oh, I see. So you have two death saves. So you bit you. You guys see this horrifying vision of this gnome just jumps on hard one after like stabbing him hard ones bleeding out on the ground.

And he just starts biting him like a zombie. Just hard one, make a death saving. Three of two fails. Jesus Christ. Did any luck points left? Sure do. And I'm going gonna need it because I Just got a six. Okay

There's a ten wow Really would hate to die on cricket a Christmas miracle I don't want a lot for Christmas all I want is hard ones are not fucking down Hard one is almost dead that That is Bev's turn. All right, Bev charges up his hands, green sparks flying off of them. Slams them both on hard ones, big, beautiful calves. Oh no.

Slams them both on hard ones, big, beautiful quads. Surging him with a touch hands. Wow. Cool. I have 40 for that. Yeah, I'm just going to get, I'll give you 30. Tight. Yeah.

Can I do one of those kind of like hands-bring things? Kick-ups? Yeah. You kick back up or kick up? Yeah. You've got a lot of wind in the legs. That is back up to Moonshine. We're going to go, I'll just go ahead and cast Shield of Faith on hard one as well.

That's a good call. I'm very vulnerable. That is Moonshine Stern Okay, and there's just these two little guys left. Yeah, they're not that little. Yeah, no, I know I know They're super powerful Moonshine I guess I'm just gonna attack them. Okay, they seem like weeners Okay, that's definitely gonna hit 27 hits. Yes Bad roll it is not my crickness

Him for 10 and then spores him for six Okay, this dude is pretty hard That is the gnomes turn you're gonna keep chopping at a hard one no place like gnome two two Pike attacks hits with one of them 15 damage. Oh my god. I'm gonna go down again. Thanks a bite misses on the bite Other guy takes you using his new AC Yes, he rolled the 16-eat-damp plus eight dead Other guy misses with both of his pike attacks is gonna take a bite. He hits with his bite

for Oh my God. That's one D3 damage. And I'm down. Hi. Hard one goes back down. Hard one, go ahead and make a death saving throw. This is the worst crickness ever. Yeah.

Noems are kicking grass. 11. 11, that's a pass. That's your turn. Okay. I guess I, nope, just fucking kill the noems. I just killed them. I can heal.

You have two attacks, I only have one so let me do the healing all right I'm going to use raffle smite on the gnome. Yeah, you don't have to heal me either. I just want to wake up and have them be dead Okay, that's gonna hit that's 18 plus eight 26 certainly hits 11 damage normally. Okay. And then I'm gonna do a wrathful smite on them, sweet, which they're gonna need to make a wisdom saving throw, but it's 1D6 psychic damage.

Cool. Fails. He fails? Yes. Great. That's six damage, and the target is frightened until the spell ends. His brain explodes, and you see just blood and chunks

coming out of his ears as he smiles and falls down. Huh. Garry into hell. And he falls on the ground. You feel bad about it though. Just shaking on the ground. Back up to Moonshine Stone. Is there a, what's the one look like?

Has he been hit? I guess, you get a second attack, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, those are my first attacks. Yeah, hell yeah. All right, cool. Let me swing it the other one. Sweet. Christmas is for yeah. All right, cool. Let me swing at the other one. Sweet.

Chris misses for friendship. 16 plus eight. Is that gonna hit the 24? Yes, yes, yes. 10, sweet. And is it just one gnome left? Yes. Yeah, let's define mine.

Do it up. 4 extra damage. Okay. That's it. It's pretty hurt. Yeah. That is Mocha's turn. Do I get the sense's pretty hurt. Yeah. That is much I started. Do I get the sense that this gnome is going to attack hard one while I

down? You can't really tell. All right. I heal hard one. Okay. The nose is going to attack me now that I'm up. Did you have a whole it's a wonderful life flashback when you were down? It's been a it's been a shit life. 16 16 hard one pops back up. That is. I just keep waking up to be killed by a shit life. 16. 16, hard one pops back up. That is- I just keep waking up to be killed by a gnome. That is back up to the gnomes.

You see on the gnomes turn, he spits on you hard one as you're getting up and goes, Tuhuhuh, I ruined Christmas and I'm gonna live. And he just disengages and starts running out of the cave. Can I go to the opportunity attack on him? No, he disengaged. So what does that mean? So he is- Do we get an opportunity attack? No, he, no, he disengaged. So what does that mean? So he is...

Do we get an opportunity attack? No, he is 40 feet outside of the cave. You guys can chase him if you want. I'm throwing my javelin. That's, uh, hard one, Stern. Yeah. I throw my javelin. Go ahead and make a javelin attack. Aligning one?

Yeah. Nice. I hate you, you little shit. That's a three. I'll use a luck point, my final one. Absolutely. Two, 20. Not a big one.

20 hits. Sweet, this is gonna be a lot of damage. Is it red and green lightning? Yes, yes it is. 25, hard one, finish this all. Yes, yeah, fuck mud. Thank God. I want my javelin to sort of like go through his calf

and kind of pin him. Oh I'm I'm against the cave wait have mercy I didn't lean up And then I'm going shit you should upper deck his mouth. Oh, that's really great I just wanted to shoot in the stockings and blew up your friend You're the stocking now, so and yeah, and then Yeah, you're the stocking I pitches nose until, yeah, you're the stocking.

I pinch his nose until he opens his mouth and then I shit into his mouth. Oh, you shit into his mouth and he dies of disease. Oh, so quick shot. And as he tries to spit it up, I want to put my boot through his teeth. So he just drinks his own teeth and my shit. He drowns in shit on Christmas.

Damn, that happened to my uncle. That was a Christmas miracle after all. Praise the Lord. That's exactly what I wanted for Christmas. So you guys see, this cave is a light with burned Christmas toys, all of the Christmas presents I've been growing. You see Ballonora kind of stirs awake

and it's kind of this bittersweet moment where he goes, oh hey guys I'm glad you came. Those nomes beat the shit out of me. But I was able to help these little guys and you see he pulls out from under his armor three little chipper monks. Is it Calvin in the peach trees? It's Calvin in the peachy. Uh, we were going out to do our yearly care lunch,

and then we got knocked out by some gnomes and brought here. Let's go back to town and do some careling of our own. Yeah, y'all got a good song for passing out presents too, because we got to redistribute all these presents. Yeah. Oh, don't, don't, don't. The presents look pretty screwed up. Yeah. Oh, that's like, Prada screwed up. Oh, man.

But they're also personal. We're also, yeah, they're still handmade. That's what really matters. Maybe with a little crickly smagic. You guys, you guys load up all of these burned toys into a bag, Bound or Hubsie. I've got three sweet little ornaments. I've made all of the gnomes into ornaments.

Oh, yeah. Sticking hooks into that. Just like little skulls and stuff like that. Yeah, my climbing grappling hooks are, I've made ornament gnomes. Yeah, you guys untie Bound or you see that? He was captured along with Calvin and the Chipper monks and he was like protecting them,

like putting them like under his belly so that he could get beat up instead of them. I can take it, I'm a dad, I get dad's strength. I go ahead and give him like a Christmas hug and touch handsombs so he's feel better. Oh, that's nice, yeah, he gets a little better. Still was the worst crickmas I've ever had.

Say, you guys all- I don't know if it's all the end, Belnor. Was it my favorite? You guys put all these burns toys and everything into the bag. And as you guys start walking back towards the crack, you see that the sled that had crashed, that galad was driving suddenly razor light appears with like a green aura around him like a mist

and he goes, you broke my bond with that freaking turd. And for that, you have my thanks. Oh hell yeah, I dabble. I dabble. I'm not even gonna need to dab, you guys. I touch my hand to his beak. I definitely dabbed that Griffin. You dabbed that Griffin.

And you guys all getting the sled together and Razer Light takes off leading you guys towards the crack. I scan this guys to see if I can see Pellor in his, oh, it would probably be like a VW bug bus that's led by a bunch of cool big dogs, spreading Christmas or Pellor festival cheer to all the children. Yeah, you see a big VW bus and a bunch of just like

big golden retrievers flying to the sky and he goes, good job, and he gives you a big thumbs up. Can we use the feather fall ring to make sure so that when we throw the presents, they all land really slowly? Yeah, right in the lap. You guys fly over the creek. You see that everybody was at each other's throat

at this point. The trial has resumed and you see pop-off still arguing in favor of cooter and stuff. And you guys drop these toys out and they're all burnt and screwed up. At first people go, what? It's all fucked up. And then you see another creek

out like walks over to that petri and goes, yeah, but that's a little rockin' horse that I made you, man. I knew that your kid would want it. And he goes like, oh, over to that Petri and goes, yeah, but that's a little rockin' horse that I made you, man. I knew that your kid would want it. And he goes like, oh, this is for Petri, Junior. That's so sweet of you, that's so sweet of you. And you see that they all start getting these damage and fucked up toys, but they're like,

oh, you made this for me, that's so nice, that's so nice, what were you even fighting about? And toys continue to fall down. Not guilty, not guilty. Not guilty. Not guilty. You could go see I made that for you. I made you your own bow. And you see this just like a broken, fucked up burnt bow.

It's perfect. Falls into another Petri's hand. He goes like, good or I can't believe I can't believe I can't use you on this on Christmas. And Kooter and this Peatree hug. You guys lower the slay down and you see Mimal runs over to you guys and gives you guys a hug. Y'all have saved Kooter.

But you do see that in the background, Kooter stump lights on fire. And you see one Krike elf running out going, so we doing this gang we lighting them up We burn it down this guy's dumb It's a stealth burning. It's a stealth burning. I could have goes no, please don't burn down my stuff That's where I live. That's where he live and me ma goes Moonshan, you know it wouldn't be crick-miss without a little snow. Will you help me? I cast sleet storm

without a little snow. Will you help me? I cast Sleep Storm. Moonshine cast Sleep Storm. And it begins snowing on the creek. It's a creek snow, which is sleep. It's like dirty sludgey sleep. Oh, so brown. Dirty sludgey sleep. So magical. All over the creek,

putting out cooters stump. Everyone explains the situation to the Petri that tried to commit arson on Kooter's. I was like, oh, well, don't just feel like a jackass. And you guys do the crick-miss morning, crawfish boil a little early, and start it immediately as crick snow falls. Wait, real quick, I got presents.

You got presents for them? What did you get? I got presents for hard one, I got some quad warmers. Oh, that's great. And if for Beverly I got little wheels that he can put on his special shoes. Oh my goodness, you made them healies? I'm yeah.

It's optional healies. Oh my goodness. I feel so bad, I didn't get you anything. That's okay, Krigmyus is about giving, not about receiving. I... Hmm. You don't. That's all. I didn't give presents to get present.

I'm definitely searching for stuff that's on his personal wrist. You've already given me enough wonderful presents. I give you a big hug, then. Oh, you're on in here. Get on in here. Where's Papa? Papa just won the case. He looks super sweaty.

He's been working all night. Pugs cooter. Yeah, hugs cooter. Cooter so happy to be out of style, Crick Jail. Which is a time out bag. I open up my overall bib to let him in. And for the first time, y'all see that there is like a whole room inside my overall bed.

He's got like a nightstand and like a desk that he wants to set up. We're in a pile of a pile of cabinet. I'm sion like having it. Papa wipes his brow and it goes into your overalls after a hard night worked on crick-miss, but then you guys have the crawfish boil and you celebrate. And our folks at home here, Ol' Cobgo, and that's where we'll end our session. See Ol' Cobb next to the fire. We'll see y'all next time.

Let's catch up with Merv Emily, called a little Jake. See if they got anything to plug. No. Bye, bye y'all. I have a happy, crick-miss, happy holidays. And you see as the camera pans out, the fire begins to catch throughout the stump. Ol, oh, Cobb just huffs a little crimp water and falls asleep in his chair.

It continues to fade out. And natural intercession for real. Yeah. All right. Oh, thank you guys so much for listening. This was a fun one. This was great. Absolutely great. It's all I wanted for Christmas. Check out the Supermarks.

Yes, those songs were so good. Thanks. I want to talk about this on the short rest. Yeah, we'll do a short rest for this one. Guys, head on over to patreon.com slash nadpod. That's n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d-o sing yet. Guys, we have things to plug. Check out hot date on Netflix.

It's me and Emily Sketch show. Uh, check out our book, Hey You Up. Head to Turn Your Boudie Column Tour Emergency Contact. It's a satirical relationship advice book. And watch us on Fantasy High. Uh, D&D Play Show available on dropout, College Humors streaming service. Call the wall. What do you got to plug?

Oh, uh, please check out the first season of Big City Greens. Uh, you can check it out on Amazon or iTunes, I believe. We're gonna have a season 1.5 coming in January, I believe. Yeah, get caught up on now. Get caught up on our non-serialized sitcom. But please watch the episodes. Nice. And by my beard oil, everybody, it's Crickman.

If you wanna give for somebody, brother, sister, come.com. It's funny and innocent that you keep plugging beard oil. I don't give a shit and you watch any of my videos if you listen to my other podcast. I just want to make sure that your face main is lustrous.

Just, yeah, just put my oil on your face everybody. BrotherSisterCode.com. Yeah, so happy holidays guys. We'll be back next week to do a year end show and then we'll be back with campaign episodes in January. Can we can we go out on we wish you Merry Christmas again? Oh yeah, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I forgot that we're doing the Bohumi I think. We are the eighth of the nation. that we're doing the Bohumi I think. We are the It's In The Nation. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. Oh, Polora shines through your acts and deeds. Starting with Brad D, the only Pepple Pot that is in Craven, once had to switch pants with Denny after Denny pissed

himself while watching the, quote unquote, scary part of Moana. Dylan Be a sword wielding wizard who accidentally invented blade singing around the holidays, Dylan likes to gift swords to his friends and family. It was super awesome the first year, but now everyone has too many swords. That's a good problem to have, Danny Peaboo, whom his resident artist painted hard one senior portrait at the Dwarf and Edge.

Hard one talked the whole time about his breakup with Gemma, so Danny may have cut a few corners to cut the session short. Tom P, father of the realm, the serenader of sleeping babies, turned fighter of Akarot. Any time a child has a nightmare where they're floating down the lazy river of hell, Tom Freddy Krueger's way in and kicks Akarot's ass. Take it! Spencer cask brew patron Elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohomia's alike makes a mold creak water that is perfect for getting you beyond fucked up round creak around the

creakness bush. Griffin SD aka the stranger the silver dragonborn eldritch knight and ex owner of the Badger's pipe in in tavern after the Badger signed the rights to the Tavern over to an orange theory fitness, Griffin was at first upset, but then did a trial membership and has already lost five pounds, congrats Griffin. Beard man, Dan, Dan's beard is so long that Alonus used a ninth-level wish-belt to make it smaller and less obtrusive, and it's still twice as long and thick as hard ones. Scott D, a Bahumian pro wrestler akin to our world's undertaker, except Scott D is actually a zombie and can definitely beat Brock Lesnar. Noise, Air and Sea has the biggest and brownest cryptmiss bush in this entire creek. his stump is an insane fire hazard.

Hermes W the Bat King Hermes is currently feuding with his daughter the bat princess who has given up her right to the throne to marry a goose. Heavy is the head that wears the bat crown. RJ W the bartender at the little bug bar at the crack. RJ will spend their Christmas lending a sympathetic ear to Joe the prang mantis. Spartus, a brilliant artcane scientist who is as accomplished as Professor Duttle and only half is evil. Spartus will scramble your brain and sell you drugs but only with your express permission. That's nice. Adam are the R-rated assassin, but not the X-rated assassin. There are no generals involved in Adam R's kills, but you the X-rated assassin. There are no generals involved in Adam

Mars kills, but you better believe there are nipples. Cassandra MHP has so much HP she wandered through Akarat's Lake of Fire while looking down at her phone and didn't even notice. Hell yeah, Lake of Fire. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly, she once cut the mic on Calvin and the Chipper Monks mid-concert. Oh no! Ha ha! Hugh C. A. K. A. Howldoor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crudon the SS Stormborn, and

fought alongside Elias and Red, is currently celebrating Crick Miss with a bunch of frost giants who he intimidated into pretending to be his family. You know, family is what you make of it, I think, is the same. Man, the mundane accidental deity who got in the way of a luscious spelt or reached divinity. When you think you've run out of wrapping paper, but then you find a little bit left in the back of your closet from last year, that's manny making sure you have a merit Christmas. Daniel U. aka Multifor the many-faced magician has two faces, which, you know, compared to the average person is many faces.

Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, after hearing about Galadze returning this episode, Jordan DJ remixed straight true to be straight new. As in, N, U, with an umlot, and you better believe they turned it into a super aggro new metal song. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, master of the extension cord. That's right, Jeffrey S.'s crickness lights are fresh as heck and safely plugged in. Cutter W. A high-off, dandy-turned-crick-barcatech helped the youngins build gingerbread stumps this year out of graham crackers, spackled together with the brown stuff from inside the crawdaddy. Disgusting! Let's sketch the escape artist, whenever Santa gets stuck in a chimney,

let's sketches there with a can trip and a stick of butter to work Jolly St. Crick out. John SAK, Shoeburt the Mushroom. Shoeburt recently joined seven of their mushroom buddies to make the most bioluminescent menorah this side of crag water. Ryan M has a distinct honor of lighting the final firework on the 16th night of Galatoronica, and all their three years of doing it, Ryan M has only ever slipped up and started one deadly fire. Elena C. a frost wind sorcerer who conjures snowstorms, blizzards, and ice knives for Bohumia's more tropical cities and villages that still want to get in the holiday spirit. Andrew M. the best gift giver at the

Cric when you get a visit from Andrew M. on Cric Miss you pray it's not your stump that gets burnt down this year. Michael McD head mixologist at the Blue Man Inn inspired by this, Michael McD whipped up an elegant cocktail with chocolate liqueur, an Irish cream called, Runny Nome Shit. Disgusting, Victor T, Boundor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, it's going to be difficult to celebrate why Nocton, or sing a still-noct, or hang the Christmas pickle on the Ten bomb without a Vator Valmour. I was looking forward to hearing that.

Hey, Rie! A trickster, no, who has perfected the minor illusion cantrip so they can spend near nothing on everyone's holiday presents. They do have to invest in a decent amount of fleece however as it is one of minor illusion spell components. Lance W.A.K.A. Lance the fan. So Godless son of a bitch who doesn't believe in any of the deities for whom the season is dedicated but still shows up to all the holiday parties and drinks their weight in boggling hog. Justin I has used their success on Stumpforce to start a production company that makes only

the most conservative Theola Loving holiday programming. Essentially they're trying to put Theola back in Theola Paloza, which is being celebrated for the first time this year and not with much enthusiasm as its celebration is mandated and non-compliance is punishable by death. Caleb stormed the first. Caleb has been making a killing off this theala polusa thing with their theala on the shelf toy, a stuffed theala that watches your children to make sure they are devoted to her.

Clayton M. A Claymation Down Down Mation shuttles folks to and fro during their holiday travels in as much cleaner and more efficient than the Claymation Greyhound. TJM, a multi-class barbarian fighter who couldn't give a shit about Galatoranica, Crickmus, or Theala Paloza, but can't fucking wait for Boxing Day. The Poivestional, the only lawyer to ever successfully beat Pop-On litigation, it's rumored that the Poivestional was in the audience tonight, and after watching Papa and Court, however, has re-enrolled in law school.

Jacob C. every year, Jacob dresses up as Crick Crinkle, a jolly roton, delovable elderly man who hands out presents. It's not tied to any Crick mistradition, so no one really gets what Jacob is doing. If anything, Jacob's trying to make a tradition happen and everyone's just kind of trying to ignore it. Alaina M. Trains with hardworn and steel breaker at the gym and showed up to leg day with

a special gift. Latka's, they're paleo Latka's that are made from rootabagas and a ton of protein powders and will keep your lats pumped for cheat days to come. Gone off has gone off the radar because it's the holidays and they're visiting their parents and their parents. House has like no sending stone Service make pucks the code master who created our amazing website secret has it Mim pucks is the one who programmed hard Juan to be a good robot Irland Kathleen L two star cross lovers who unlike Gemma survived assassination attempts at their wedding

two star cross lovers who, unlike Gemma, survived assassination attempts at their wedding. Dylan M. A talented executioner who kills people with a broadsword clenched firmly between their butt cheeks. Dylan also mocks up the mess afterwards with a mop clenched between his butt cheeks. Jive G. A Bahumi in frontiers men currently hurting the living rams across the frigid north. What a cowboy, what a hero. Gorman A, an entrepreneurial, orc who is pitching Shay on opening up a soul cycle next to yoga studio. Atlas Storm Reaper, an invisible spider that started a grungy emo band.

So many people show up at Atlas's concerts, even though none of their fans will ever see them. Justich, a jovial ostrich. Rumor has it, justich is opening for old Cobb on his stand-up tour through Gladehome. Eel, Drag, aka, the Drag or not. Given their name because they never let the drags of a keg go unfinished for naught. Maybe they have an alcohol dependency issue, but damn if they don't have a sick nickname. Sick-nick! they don't have a sickening name. SICKNICK! Cameron C! A nomist story, and currently writing a dissertation on the treachery and shame of their own people.

Charo Arcadius, a teafling warrior whose tale is his best friend and worst enemy, Charo has a devil and angel on their shoulder, but Charo's tale has two devils, so it's three to one. Damn you, Aura! Human fighter whose long jump is infinity has never used this power because they don't know if they'll ever be able to stop jumping. Josh S. aka Josh Scoop holds the record in Bohemia for most scoops of an adorable creature once scooped acorats by accident before realizing he wasn't queued at all. He was a slender little daddy's boy with an order problem. Dumb are owner of the baggies, pants, and behumia often wears pants that jingle with dozens

of giant coins. They're essentially jankos, and they give Dumb a plus four to AC. Nicholas R, the only elf with enough willpower to abstain from kissing in the timeout bag, when Nicholas gets laid outside the sack a bunch. Okay, so you don't need it. Jennifer V, a street vendor who cooks their hot dogs on fire giants. It's the only way to get those super authentic grill marks. These hot dogs are also kosher for Passover.

Matt Aitch was the person trapped in Ulfgar's gym before Ulfgar. Matt has a studio apartment now, but it feels pretty spacious after the gym. Jacob J. Adorven animal trainer often comes across demon animals and is able to caesor melan style make them behave, would be horrified to know how many beautiful creatures hard one has murdered in cold blood. Destin C is looking to fulfill their destiny. That's how they introduce themselves in every tavern through Bohemia to mixed responses when it works though

It's great Devin B the strongest praying mantis had the crick when Joe makes love to his wife. She pretends she's lying with Devin B When she comes to and sees Joe she tries to murder him tragic Michael L a druid who just opened a cold pressed goodberry Juice shop right next to Shay's yoga studio. And before you ask, yes, the juice is charcoal activated and yes, Michael is raking in the doge. Sam H.A.H.A.H.A.H.A.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H for the dragons horde in their magic sack, which has earned them the nickname, Baggin' Born. Kelvin Noodle, the Noodle-Doodle-Doodle, a pasta-ar-gore who can predict the future by slapping noodles on a canvas.

At first they used a crystal meatball, but it was way less accurate. Sergio Salazar Solomon Sakuraiya's De Seville, Seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snakefolk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio lives in a big basket and can only wake up if his roommates plays a special flute. If he weren't so incredibly sexy, he'd have a real hard time keeping a job. Max L, rising in the ranks of the thieves, Gild Max L has been budding heads with Joris by suggesting they wear domino masks in addition to feathered caps.

Joris thinks it'll clash, but Max has a dream and is sticking to his guns. Max also thinks they should use guns. Try lay the cray-fay who makes hey every day. It's what the Green Night Sleep on now. Thanks, try. Evan K, aka Malvo Donstar. Come one, come all to Malvo Donstar's traveling druid enclave. Malvo is spending this crickness, handing out crickness bushes to people on the road

and telling the tales of hospitality whether they wanted to hear it or not. That's right, Malvo is straight up blocking traffic. Grace H. The Graceful Ace. An airship pilot well known across Bohumia. Fun fact, Grace's airship is shaped like a red dog house, which is just fine because Grace looks exactly like a cartoon beagle wearing a flying scarf. Weird, I know, but that's just how it is sometimes. Air and G, a gnome who sells bootleg watch this, shirts out of the back of their toy at a horse-drawn wagon. They are on top of Lieutenant Bricker's most wanted list. Eric, be a dwarven blacksmith who crafted some of the realms less well-known divine weapons,

like the King's Knife, the Kings Fork, and the King's Vajetti. Jury asks a dwarven who dug higher into Iron Deep than any dwarf before them, a feat that sounds cool until you realize it just means they drilled a hole in the ceiling. Everyone is pissed at them except hard one who was extremely jealous. John W.G. Weilder of a broadsword. So broad, it's basically a shield. Several enemies try to point this out but are promptly cleaved before they can finish their point.

Alucard, a reverse vampire or a rip-mav who goes around Bohumiya giving blood to those in need. Thank you for your service, Alucard. No, grab a cookie and some juice. You've earned it. Andrew R. and I, Doctor, who created prescription eye drops for the Harvester Beasts. The Beasts still consumed their soul and made their unwilling flesh a servant of Akurat, but the drops did wonders for their blurry vision. Baby Doc, an infant documentary filmmaker currently working on a true crime series about a mysterious band of boobs who are slowly murdering their way across Bahumia and their quest to acquire

all the world's most cursed artifacts. Andrew A.A. Floss Giant, they do that one fortnight dance all the time. It may seem annoying, but they've got that hip sway down perfectly and can use it to quickly and efficiently mesmerize their enemies. Richard Adam H invented the Bohumian version of Quidditch, the only difference is you bounce a ball instead of a riding broom and there's only one hoop, and there's no bludgers or golden snitch.

I'm just realizing this is basketball, but Bohumia didn't have that either, so it's still pretty cool, I guess. Slam Dunk Richard. Kyle McQ, a hungry no-old currently pursuing the band of boobs, Rams, across Frostwin. It's a real wild-eating coyote situation. They've got rocket skates and everything. And Kyle did catch Ryan. And finally, Colin G, the biggest of the big dogs, pulling Polores classic Volkswagen

bus on Polore Fest Eve each year after they finish delivering gifts, Colin and Polore split a bud heavy and watch the sunrise over the material plane. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll be back next week with our end of the year episode highlighting some of our favorite moments for the year. It's fun. It's fun, guys. Have a happy holiday and head over to the Patreon.

Patreon.com slash an ad pod. If you want to hear this short, rest. We'll catch you guys next week. Bye-bye. Bye. That was a hit-gun podcast.