Not Another D&D Podcast - NADDPOD Live in Chicago (The Mean Teen Jamborween)

Episode Date: June 20, 2019

The 2 Crew brings Shadowfell to Chicago! The Band of Boobs attempt to infiltrate a nasty lad ritual, then get caught up in a squabble with the Dark Lord. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Hey, guys, Murf here. The Chicago Show turned out great. So we're posting it as this week's episode. The audience was amazing. So much good cosplay and everyone was so enthusiastic. It was electric.

Thank you again to everyone who came out. There were a few visual cues during the show on the projector behind us, as well as a few moments where we did some roll-offs at the edge of the stage, so I'll be chiming in occasionally in the edit here so you can get the full picture without seeing it. So without further ado, here is Nadpod Live in Chicago. Yes, yes, hello there short town. Yes, sweet as all right. Well, all right.

I'll come to you from Borden's porch. That's right, that's right. It's quite nice. It's even better than Shadowfill up here. If you can imagine, I met a beautiful dwarf. Her name is Jimma. She said she's in an open pink. So he is made.

You ready to have some fun tonight? Yes. Well, let's do it then. Please welcome to the stage the band of boobs Welcome to the campaign after the campaign this is not another D&D podcast Welcome back to Bahumye everyone I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy. Thank you. Thank you.

Joined by Jake Kerwitz. Hard one shirt foot. Emily Axford. Moonshine Sabin just a sweet little bitch from the crick who came to crick! Woo! And of course, the guy with the guaranteed best quip of the night right now, called well-tanner. Beverly Togo, the fifth, Grey Knight, small height. Yeah! Yeah! He delivered.

It's all downhill from here. I just want to point out that Jake's dice include 1D20 and that's all. I forgot my dice. You're a fighter. You have two things you need. You need one piece of paper and my dice. You're a fighter. You have two things you need. You need one piece of paper and some dice. Both of them are in Los Angeles. You don't live there.

I know. Do you need dice right now? No, I don't need it right now. I put mine between me and Harvard. We can borrow ours. I don't want to take mine. For take of my number balls. Yeah.

I also found 2d6 Downstairs there you go that have absolutely never been played With the indeed one of the sides doesn't even have a number on it. It just says the way you know, it's one All right guys, we are off to a strong start. This isn't the short rest now This is just a short rest everyone. No,, this is going to be a little side quest for the band of boobs. Sort of in, think of it like an anime movie, like that Dragon Ball Z movie where they fight that guy

and there's a tree. You guys remember that one? Yes. Yeah, that one ruled. Yeah, I'll give it up for that one with the tree. Yeah. Yeah. Movie freaking rules.

It's all going to take place in the same timeline as where the Band of Boobs currently are. So let me give you guys a little recap to set the scene. Please. Yeah, recaps. So the Band of Boobs recently traveled to the plane of shadow to save hard ones mother from the clutches of Glad Roselle.

The... BOOM! Strike trip! Do it, sir! Glad Roselle, of course, the new dark lord of Shadowfell. But upon your arrival in Shadowfell, you found yourselves trapped in a town surrounded by a mysterious vampiric mist. You were taken in by an undead Crick elf named Dead Eye Sibon.

Moon shines half brother and together with an undead dwarf named Jivelyn. and together with an undead dwarf named Jivelin. Yeah. Yeah. Poor one up for your boy. Yeah. So he is. Yeah. You dispatched of the vampires who ruled the town and cleared the mist, but there were

some losses along the way. Our good friend, hard one, was cursed with a vampirism. Boo. Boo. Kind of cool though, kind of cool. Kind of cool. Our good friend, hard one, was cursed with vampirism. Boo! Boo! Kind of cool, though, kind of cool. Kind of cool. And others died permanently.

Boo, that's a boom. That's a bad thing. Our friend. No one's so far more than me. Our friend, a dead eye, passed away peacefully after you negotiated with his patron, Pentecost, the betrayer, who was trapped in a ruby necklace

inside the vampire crypts. It's actually a belly chain now. My name is actually Pentecost. You agree to transport him out of the crypts and exchange for dead ice soul, then moonshine turned him into a belly chain, Virginia Beach style. But inspiring as your time in the village of Grimhawk may have been, you're still no closer to saving Hard One's mom. So with the mists around Grimhawk lifted and no other information to go on, you hit the road and begin heading north toward

Galatoran where you hope to find the dark lord of Shadowfell, Galad Rosel. Ooh, yes. For the light. Ha, ha. And that's where we are now. Murfond commentary here, we have put a picture of Shadowfell on the projector behind us.

Ooh. Let's get spooky in here. I threw that. Pretty cool. Pretty neat. All right, let's play the game. All right. It's pretty cool though.

Yeah. You're like the Bob Rock. Let's just talk about the picture for a while. The happy little present. She guys are just outside of Grimhawk. The mist has lifted. And you're walking along this extremely bleak road. The happy little poison? The happy little poison? Are just outside of Grimhawk. The mist has lifted. And you're walking along this extremely bleak road,

gray dirt with dead trees lining both sides and no signs of life. You travel for hours. The blood star rises and gives the path a creepy red glow than it sets a few hours later and you're left again traveling in the bleak night. Everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Gladly. The one dies I have.

Ooh. In a little box labeled perception dies. You have nothing for attacking. Shit. I only got a 10. I have 26. 26? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You guys never only got a 10. I only got a 10. 26. Okay.

Thank you. I got it. You guys never do this for me. It's not true. Morphed it, it's it out. There's two minutes of applause. No matter what you roll. It's borderline patronizing.

Honestly, we should stop. Bam, would you get? I got an 11. I don't love it. Okay. Very, we should stop. Bev, would you get? I got an 11. I don't want to be an 11. OK. Very impressive for the boys. Oh my gosh. You know what?

Let me roll for Balnor. Balnor's here too. Hey, guys. Hey. Good to be here. I'm hashtag where it was Balnor. Balnor was getting a nine. That's a nat nine for Balnor.

That's where Balnor was. Moshine. Mooshine though. Your Elven Eyes catch this. And Elven ears. You catch a glimpse of something just as the sun is setting in the distance. Just off the main road is this ram shackle hut. It looks abandoned on first glance, but you see a little bit of smoke coming up as if there was a campfire recently put out there. Y'all I think I found us an Airbnb. Yeah, this is probably Galad's house. Yeah, maybe it's got one of those little boxes with a key in it. We just put in the right, passcode. Let's go leave them a bad review. OK.

I think boy, I hate to use this so soon, but maybe we should pass without trace on this. Let's leave. All right, cheeks to hands. Mochaine, Pat's everybody on the butt and gives you all pass without trace. So you guys proceed stealthily towards this hut, but it very quickly becomes apparent

that it is abandoned. You go into the hut. I'm like, it has purse lips. Little upset. This isn't galad tells. You see galad is sleeping. Oh, where'd you come from? He doesn't have any of his armor on his swords very far away.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Everyone chill, everyone chill. There's pictures of galad holding fish all over this place. It's just summer home. He's not there right now. So you guys investigate this hut. Oh, this is my favorite thing to do.

Let's go through their medicine cabinet. What do I find? There actually are medicine cabinets. So it looks like it at one time was a witch's hut. You see all these vials and like half poured out potions. And you see a cauldron in the center of the room that is dirty with a broken barrel inside of it. And the whole hut reeks of old ale.

You see a bunch of dirty cots on the floor. It looks like a bunch of people were staying here. And you also see a new, you see a nudie mag. Oh my. Okay, first up y'all. Do you see? A very careless light of hand check to see if a... Sure, go ahead and do a slight advantage act.

Can I try to oppose him with Handy Andy to get it first? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What is Handy Andy? He gets a plus 13. Ha ha. The sad thing is I rolled really well. Yeah, it took a good roll.

I don't you say you're 21. 28. Nice. Hard one. Can he any any go take is like a pointer finger and his middle finger and jerk off his thumb? Yes. You guys watch a hand jerk off. I don't know what that, I mean, it looks like exactly how

you described it, I guess. I get it next, perv. Beverly looks at it and says, is this porn? Is this what porn is? Look away, Beverly. OK. Yeah, you see there's a succubus and an incubus on the cover. Hard one goes to grab it.

Handy Andy comes out of Mochette's bib super quick, snatches it away from him. I'm gonna throw it away. As Handy Andy grabs it, you see a crumpled up piece of paper falls out from it. Wait, is that just dragged Handy Andy? Friends, wait, no, no, it doesn't at all. He's he's on task. He's flipping through It's the best part of the porn. It's an article

It seems to be about woodworking Ah, well, that's what handy Andy's doing, right? Handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy, handy And remember I'm reading that like maybe a first grade level at this book. Okay, um, Munchack go ahead and make an intelligence check. Hmm. Hmm. Okay, that's gonna be a plus zero. So fuck it up.

16. 16. Munchan you aren't able to fully read this note. Stand up, there it is. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know. Munchine. That's good. Munchine, the note reads, young denizens of Shadowfell, the time has come for you to honor your contracts. You will draw from your awful collective teen

malice and summon your dark lord. Let us all gather for the mean teen Oh, how do you believe in the greatest fear? I love it. No, right. Prince, what did it say? Bad boys have been here. Bad boys and bad girls, and they're up to no good. Yeah, Bev, with this context, there were some nasty lads here. And they were drinking.

They were drinking. I mean, I drink, but respectfully. Yeah, you do it with a dad present, but... That's right. Do you want to sip of my butt, heavy? Valnor, it's a... Yes, please. It's a walk-in day.

We're not fighting anybody. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. You're allowed to drink on a walk- day. We're not fighting anybody You're allowed to drink on a walk in day, right? That is one of the rules. Yes So we're gonna go take out this knob or what you see moonshine's belly chain pentagost speaks out Panda greens got something to say my name's not pentagost actually pentagost, but yeah, so I'm super into killing this dark lord collab because he totally stole my title for me and Yeah, let's get this off

Penta greens Penta greens, yeah, what's up dude? Are you a dad? You know kind of not for me dude dude. Single at the moment, kinda between stuff, or, I am a belly chain, so I can be tied down literally, but as far as like having a relationship, something, or, you know, not the time. Hard one gives it deep nod. My dude. My dude. Can we like investigate the rest of this teen rumpus room? Sure. You investigate the rest of the teen rumpus room.

You find more paraphernalia. They were clearly drinking and being up to no good. You do see on the flyer that there is a location that it says the crossroads north of Grimhawk between Grimhawk and Galatoron. Billy Button. You know where that is? Yeah, except the crossroads between here and the later on, the students are fucking. Yeah, keep talking smart as it'll punch moons and it's stuck. I dare you do

punch me. I'm pretty strong. Yeah, just let me raise first. I take the pendant and I turn it around so that the jewel faces moonshine's belly button. Oh, there's some surprises in there. I love belly buttons. Oh, I think there's a page in the porno for you. All of them. Yeah, let me get done. Let me get done the Ruby here, you know what I'm saying? Shall we go to the crossroads?

Yeah. Is there any medicine we want to take from here? Yeah, can we inspect some of these vials see if there's anything we could shoot up with? Yeah, are there any is there any arcane? Go ahead and roll an investigation jack see if you find any arcane. I Guess I meant like pin is still in but okay 14 14 16 again

16 I'll say even with a 16 You find some really shitty remnants of a little bit of arcane. It would be super pathetic. Well, all you got to do is splash a little bit of water in the vile swirl it around, chug it down. A little mip, give you a buzz. I tried to tap up the bellichain. You're, don't I know it, man?

Hard one real quick, just because your physiology just went turned upside down. Do you know if you can even be affected by arcane anymore? Oh, Jesus. I'm just asking, you know, curious. Tell you what, if I try some of this vial and I don't do anything, kill me. Cool, how you want to die? Strangle me with the belly chain. I'm game, dude.

These are team players. Yeah, you look around in these teams ransacked it. They had no respect for the place. You saw a perfectly good health potion was poured out to make room for a rolling rock. Dispicable. There's a more rolling rock. I report sports just hard on them. Like, these little ones kind of roll right.

Let's catch up with these kids. They obviously have our cane. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys begin traveling towards the crossroads. The road is quiet for a while, but you eventually hear activity. Loud, rowdy teens. Oh dear.

You see torches and bonfires as you sneak closer, and you see that the jambourine is underway. Hundreds of teens gather all in black, some of them wear cool cloaks with the hood up, but others are more rogish and sport leather armor. They look rad as hell. There are humans and elves all races, but you do see a lot of dwarves. They don't appear to be undead, just mortal teens who made a deal with the dark lord. They're drinking ale and smoking. You see there is a rickety half pipe set up where a few teens recklessly do BMX tricks. God, someone's getting on that pipe.

I got one of those two wheeled steeds. Is this, it's operation, Radlad. You're not? Radlad ducks? Yeah. You also see a backyard wrestling ring. Yeah. Covered in runes.

Gotta have the runes. And in the center of it, a dwarf teen stands holding a megaphone. Wait a minute. Alright, alright everybody. Yeah, what's up? What's up? Yeah, everybody come the fuck down, come the fuck down. It's me, your boy Rody and what's up?

Yeah, everybody loves Rody and what's up, y'all? Hey, I'm the new leader of the nasty lads from Frostwind. Every since a rust-skack became a weiner and freaking got out of there with the doorfinage. Can they get the whoop whoop? Whoop whoop? This is pretty much the gathering of the jugalos. I would like to use minor illusion to put on my best Jack Skellington makeup. You see you blend in perfectly with everyone else.

And you see our Radiant Speaks app and he goes, the preparations have all been made. We just need the shed some blood on the runes and the dark Lord will be summoned all right Everybody bring out my opponent for the first blood match. Yeah, what's up? Rodion I rule man socket DX the generation X man Starts doing the DX socket Rodion's got it cool I got a lot of respect for this young and and you see a bunch of big bulky bully teens start pushing a little dwarf

Into the ring. Oh, no, I do not want to fight. I do not want to fight. Come on man. You're the opponent man You got the fight to me dude. Scheduled about man. Scheduled someone your own size. I'm shine yells out man, schedule. I like someone in your own size. I'm going to shine yells out. You see everybody turns, um, Rodion instantly recognizes you. Oh, fly. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

That's right, your nightmares are real motherfucker. Oh. Guys, so sorry, this is actually a scheduled bout, so kind of have to do first blood match. Me and guys, hold me back, hold me back. I will kick your asses, but my boys, man, they're on me, so what can I do? I turn to the crowd and I say, do you want to see this pathetic excuse for a showdown or do you want to see a real fight? Bev, go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage. That's going to be a 22 on the first one.

Let's go with a 22. You see the other bullies instantly join in with the crowd as they all cheer for you guys. And Rodi's just like, wait with no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, guys, schedule the bout needs to be scheduled about hot ticket, hot ticket. And they pulled the little kid back and the entire crowd is going crazy as you guys go near the ring. And the roading goes, okay, fun. What is this? One on one or three on three, floor on floor, what do you want?

Rock paper scissors for it, gang. What did you say? Rock paper scissors? Oh, if the crickets probably called rock, rock, rock. Oh, yeah. Big rock, medium rock, small rock. Small rock beats big rock. Big rock beats medium rock.

No, there's medium rock. Why don't you just do it? I said we go three on three, y'all. Okay. What about four on four? Ballnor. You're gonna be like fighting today? Yeah. I'm drunk as hell. I've been pounding butt hivies on the road.

Let's kick some teen ass. You said it was a walking day. You see, Boundore and you three guys get in the ring. You see like three other human bulky boys get up and join Rodeon. Rodeon just goes, oh fuck me, man. Just absolutely fuck me. Everyone roll initiative against Rodion and his boys. Ha ha ha.

17. 12. 13. Wait, I thought I heard something on the wind. Old habits. Um, moonshine, you are first. Oh, I am? Yeah.

All right, I'm going from my old friend. Oh, hey, man. What's up, tag match. I'm not thin yet. Goes to try to run away. Real quick, though, I am going to go primal beast. Guardian of the Nature primal beast, which gives me advantage on strength-based attacks and ideal and extra d6 of damage. Oh god.

Wow, I rolled two thirteens, but that okay, that's gonna be 22. That hits Rodean, believe it or not. So it'll just be your strength score. Oh, it's just a lot. Unless you want to do like a power bomb or something, like describe what you do. Ooh. Oh. Give the people what they want.

Yeah. Love power bomb this little teenager. Get over here, young man. You get into the ring instantly, Rody goes, it's like, no, no, no, I give up. I quit. Moonshine kicks him in the stomach and power bombs him. You see, hits the ground is instantly chaos. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I got to stop overestimating this young and the ground goes ape shit. And you see, as this young and the ground goes ape shit and you see as

his head hits the ground blood trickles out oh shit the runes the runes oh we forgot about the runes we forgot the runes drop of blood hits the ring and wait can I can I quickly use my reaction to spores underneath the drop of blood so it falls onto a pile of spores? Absolutely not. Viscous? No, they're so viscous though. Mer- I have- I have several titles.

And spores, hit the ring. Blood and spores hit the ring. And you see the runes changed from this dull red to bright crimson. The canvas lights up and a streak of this red glow shoot out into the sky. And moonshine, you see your belly chain begins glowing red and a beam of crimson light shoots from it. There is a bright flash and when your eyes adjust, you see that Pentecost the betrayer has escaped his prison. This was not to summon the Dark Lord Glad.

This was to summon the Dark Lord Pentecost! No! You see, he's this... Pentecost, you were supposed to be my champion! Oh, you be my champion. I am your champion. You see he's this whole king figure in dark plate mail with huge spiked poldrons, a dark helm that curves up on both sides to look like horns and a t-shaped slit and all you can see through it is just darkness and these red

eyes and he also has just a huge beer gut. And he goes, Oh, you're for a Canadian piece! And he starts taking off. I chase him and guess what? Oh, that's my dark vision, never mind. You can see him, you can see him run away. I use fine steed to summon a beast and chase after him.

Sweet. What kind of beast would you like to summon? Um, just the goofiest unicorn? I instantly bite it. Hard one, just this majestic unicorn shows up. Hard one instantly just takes just a little bite into its neck. I guess that is all of the magic life from it. So I said it was a nip, that's not fair. OK, so that's your walk me down.

Let's summon another one. You get some a little bit will. You summon a less majestic unicorn. That one doesn't even look tasty. Just a real busted ass unicorn. That one doesn't even look tasty. Just a real busted ass unicorn. It's horn is drooping like a hot dog. Like a whale and captivity. Oh, master. It's so sad. I'm a unicorn. Hi, what's what's your name? I don't know. You can just call me unicorn. It's invented. No one's ever given me a name.

OK. It's mostly because I'm really mean, you dick. I don't know. Oh. Well, all right. Hop on, gang. You guys all hop on this gigantic busted unicorn and begin chasing down Pentecost, who is not that fast.

You're just hooking it. And the full plate mail, just this big bulky guy. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative against Pentecost. That's going to be a Nath one for moonshine. I got a nine. I got an eight. OK. Damn, I got a win this year with a nine.

Great work, dude. What's Bellor got, baby? Bellor's got a big five. Woo! Hard one on top. It's my guardian and nature still in effect. Yes. Yes, bitch.

Okay, so Penta Gasta is gonna go first. So you beat a nine? Believe it or not, dude, he got a Matt 13. I've never seen such a role. So you guys are chasing down Pentecost. You quickly catch up to him. You're riding this unicorn next to him and he's just hooping it and he goes, wait, all right, everybody fricking relax.

Everybody fricking relax, okay? I hurt my leg, I hurt my leg. And he starts limping on his one leg. And Moonsh and Bev, as you go and look down at his leg, you see that he's doing the okay sign on his thigh? No. No. The universal sign of a nut tap.

Hey. Don't look good! I did not go... CUP JACK! Uh, go ahead and give me a Constitution saving throw. As you see, this necrotic backhand towards your crotch. Ah! I whispered a moonshot, I knew I liked this guy. You hurt my leg, dude!

You look at a two-man. That's a 24. A leg, dude. You look at a two-man. That's a 24. A 24, okay. So you'll only take half of this. Your testicles do not burst. Oh! It was just dissonant. It's okay.

I would have less restored your testicles. Thank you. Beverly, you are pulverized in the nut sack and you fall off this unicorn. You take 45 damage What pull what is the ground? Beverly it's just the woods you're in the wood oh Beverly falls off in screams my good berries Oh, you were asking oh he still got hit in the nuts He just like he caught him. He like half caught him, he got a little thigh.

So, a half was quick too. Half caught is 45. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I reach up to the unicorn, flopsie, help me. Fuck you, man. He gives you the finger somehow. He only has a hub.

He's just that big of an asshole. Also a droopy. Hard, that is your turn. Okay, I'm gonna swing, I've got my axe back. I'm going into sharp objects these days. So I'm gonna... Yeah, so Jivelin had two axes, so we'll say that one was in the bag and gave one to our friend Hardwell. It's the least he can do, he's fucking my girlfriend. But it's cool we have an open thing. It seems like you've really been exploring that, huh?

It hasn't fully opened up for me. It's a jar. The door is open, no one's just walking in. The thing is the door is unlocked. I'm trying to open it. Anyway, I swear my ass is. No one's just no one's walking in the thing is the doors unlock I'm trying to open it anyway, I swear my eyes That's a not one You just think about jivelyn and jema and you just fully drop your axe go ahead and make your second attack Okay, so now I well think again, a little harder, really lean into it. See what it can dig up.

That's a 25. Oh yeah, that was... Wait, wait, no, I really didn't hurt my leg. Don't look. 19 damage on the second attack. Yikes. And, I am gonna leap off the unicorn and try to bite him. Oh. Oh!

Oh! Faro! Dude, this is not cool, man! I'm a fucking vampire, it's very cool. That's... 26. Yep, that hits. Here you go.

What do I add to it? I fucking hate how no... Why it is while I do math When I roll you guys could just talk amongst yourself don't don't say that okay? Just like light chatter is fine. What did you get? I know what the fuck what do you add nine ten? 17 or 18 I rolled an eight I think I add what do I add somebody in the crowd said you had no it's a no I had five You don't add five really a final fucking go with the nine sure okay, so 17 hit that doesn't hit anyway

No, I hit I hit I rolled yeah rolling 26. I was rolling my damage got it The five was right more murk commentary. I am currently exiting the stage in shame after my walk. That's the first live-wamping. WAMP! Ding, ding, ding. Someone's bell got wrong. Somebody doing the- This-

Wamp him! What's up guys? It's the newly humble Brian Murphy. I will not be yelling at anyone about math for the rest of the show. Try to rasmy. Try to rasmy. I got ras back. Do he ate your lunch?

Yeah. Fuck all you guys. What's eight plus five? 13. You bite into this dude. You find like a separation of the armor. Doesn't taste very good. He is an undead guy.

Oh, what are you doing, man? I'm bloating. Thought you'd taste like a separation of the armor doesn't taste very good. He is an undead guy. Oh, what are you doing man? I Blood thought you taste like a unicorn He tastes like monster energy drinks Okay, that's got no back here dude Dude you're welcome. I bought like six of them at a gas station. They didn't even come in a pack Individual man, so pay off we have to stop befriending everyone we meet. Bad, that's your turn.

Let's see, I think I'm just going to go all out and try and do as much damage as I can with a blinding smite. This is going to be a 19 to hit. That does not happen. Wow. I've got sick armor needed. That does not hit. Wow. I've got sick armor dude. It's really cool actual length. You just fully hit his belly and it's just so big that you can't get through.

All right, second attack. I don't think skin round. Oh, 28. That hits. All right. I'm gonna need some extra D8s actually if you don't mind for this attack I can give you some of Emily's I brought none Do we physically might not have enough D8s on the stage?

I see it. All right. No one showed up to the show with dice No, I saw I saw some people wave at someone you Oh my first got stage, huh? You thought Jake was bad at math. Just watch this. Ha ha ha. All right, so that's nine damage right there. And then I do an extra D8 of radiant damage. That's going to be four more damage. So it's 13.

13 total plus 8, 17 damage. And then you know what, why the heck not, I'm going to divine smite as well. Woo! Woo! So that's going to divine smite as well So that's going to be I will do it at a third level which means it's going to be four more d8s I believe He did tap your nuts What dude what your freaking problem man? I was joking around it was a joke. I'm worried about my sperm count All right, okay, that's going to be 16 19 19 what's 19 plus seven 26? Yes, 26 extra damage there

All right, oh man. He's looking not great already. You see he's really Gasping for air as he runs now Okay, I think I did seriously hurt my thigh on that one don't look moonshine We'll tap your utters Babe you have a second attack. No, that was my second that was your second attempt my bad um Balenoers turn pal know her yeah Boundo is there. Shouldn't have nut tapped my son you son of a bitch Boundo goes to punch him in the nuts Dad they really hurt roll the natural three just punches metal. Oh

God Sorry, but I'm drunk Rope two three's in a row just did the exact same thing tries to punch him in the nuts again breaks a finger oh god oh bound or got into the michaal otters I'm sorry I thought it was a walk in day moonshine that's your turn all right I'm just gonna hit him I got a that's one big yeah God that that feels good and I didn't even roll it.

That's all girl gave me her to crit. Do you need more dice? Yeah. I don't need more dice. Do I just double my dice? Yeah, you're going to do six pieces. So since I'm doing an extra, no, I'm doing an extra D6 because I'm a primal beast.

Does that mean I do 8D6? Yes. Yeah. Oh, I brought two from downstairs. I knew they'd come in handy. I'm just going to be quiet so we can end it. You see, Boundore is still trying to punch him in the nuts 26

Moonshine I use slash and damn there's this explosion of fire and you see he falls forward collapses on the ground and goes All right all right, I tap on DuVolpe. He starts tapping collapses on the ground and goes, all right, all right, I tap, I give up. He starts tapping out on the ground. Hey, I'll give you a tap. I also support. Beverly goes up and not taps him. Oh, dude, I didn't look, man. I spores him.

And he spores him. I super hurt on the ground. All right, everyone relax. OK, I gave up, respect the tap. Have you guys never taken a martial arts class with them all? Respect the tap, man. All right, I'll respect the tap. If you just jump right back into my belly chain.

Well, I don't want to, okay, new plan new plan. All right, okay? So I attack them Slash into him again. Okay, all right. Here on chill I don't know until listen the reason that I wanted to get out is because I Have tickets to fate, yo, uh Well, why don't you fucking say so we could have grabbed some arcane from those kids I have tickets to Fahceola. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But for you and then go there try meet friends, you know what I mean, but we can roll deep Yeah, we always roll deep They really spaces already painted Too much it's like a tiger no dude dude you look rad

Okay, I just I wild shaped just my face to be a tiger, so that we're twins. Whoa! Awesome. Wow. Oh, wow. Wow. Not at all. Wow. We got things like you, right?

Cool it, Beverly. Sorry, sorry. You're not the only one we'll be. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big.

I turn it to a bat and fly away. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away.

You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only one who's big. I turn it to a bat and fly away. You're not the only. So full disclosure, I don't have the tickets on me. Oh, you are just a question.

No, it relax. Everyone needs to relax right now, okay? Look, all right, I was in a belly chain. If you want to remember, so I was in a freaking belly chain. Can't exactly order someone, stop, hub, and have it go to the old Billy chain can you know, okay? Really because you ordered delivery more than one time All right, he I'm jacked as hell. I got to keep my calories up. Okay. I'm trying. I'm bulking right now

It's a lot of burritos go to the belly chain. Yeah look you got to do a lot of math to our nutrients to get jack I'm just in it for power. Okay. I'm not trying to get look this guy over here points to hard one. He's a little too skinny for my taste I personally like bulk Like useful muscle you know what I mean like no offense man a lot taken All right, all right, but I had I had the tickets sent to my mom's house, so if we I'm between places, okay Wow, how did you take over all of Shadow fell?

Yeah, truly all right It was like guys point soup into plates, right? Look, it was my dad's first okay so I was like next in one. But I did a good job man I like earned it you know like some people they're like giving something but they don't like earn it I wasn't like that I like was giving it but I earned it you know. I'm staring so hard at his back guy. Yeah I earned it I got super jack, anyway, you guys want to go to my mom's house, sir. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, unfortunately. Right, sick. Lead us to your mom's place. Holy the way. Starts walking very slowly. Hard one, is it cool if we go to Fichella for a bit instead of avenging your mom? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, my mom's cool. She would actually I think my mom would prefer if I went to feccella Or which actually super chill so like the way the tickets work is like you touch the tickets and you're transported to feccella

And it's like across space and time man like there's no no actual time passes and you actually um vampire dude over here you'll be able to be on the son and stuff it's like I was just playing it's about the music and uh kid cobalt is actually headlining yeah he really he blends the musical styleings of uh cute cutie, snow patrol and POD. Wow, I mean it doesn't make sense. It's a pretty great experience. It's my hateful philosophical thought experiment. I can't understand it. It's just contradictions. Yeah, sounds horrendous. I'm in. You guys know a song, I'm on the pursuit of dragon eggs, right? Jake, that was really good. Bravo. You know what, have my dice. Take my guy. These weighted dice.

It's all 20s, Beth. 17. That's still a little bit of value. It's still maybe weighted. Okay, so, Pentecost guides you guys as you approach his mom's house. You exit this forest of dead trees and begin traveling through a mountain range, a bleak valley between a craggie gray mountains.

Eventually, you see hanging precariously over the ocean is a crooked tower about as big as a lighthouse built of gray and black stone with a spire atop it and inside you see a light but ahead of you on the road you see four chosen soldiers walking towards the tower and two of them have goats over their shoulders. What are they doing with that food? Wait, do you think these guards are attacking my mom? It's your mama goat No, my dad moonshine up my mom's not a goat right she's a banshee

What the fuck is that? My mom's not a goat right she's a banshee It's like a ghost it's a ghost Mom is a ghost and my name is pentagost I guess we better go save pentagreens goat mom Honestly, I think my mom is bug bug goat but if your mom's a good my mom is not a good card dammit all right what do you guys want to do about these knobs I mean I love to get some chosen on

muskie or yeah let's go make them look at our okay signs yeah oh let's send pender greens in first want me? Yeah, prove yourself guys. I'm tired as hell All right, tell you what I'll go on a scouting mission You guys see Penda Gos to run ahead then just hides behind a rock and then just start signaling to you guys to go Girl, you guys are good. Not really Girl, you got your good not really Scour her dude That's a

Rats it. There's four of them. I you hold up four and then points to his eyes We say the points you know there's four there's two goats you pointed to now you're talking so You have to was that you brother? I see two of the chosen I throw my javel in it one of the chosen I go ahead and make an attack roll with advantage. Oh, I'm gonna roll the big the big hell yeah Because you didn't bring any other dice. Oh Damn he's going to center stage That's a net nine bitches That's a net six oh

69 nice dude hell yeah, that's what I was trying to do That's what I was trying to do Does he get advantage because he already got advantage and he did bad Well, no, but hit my javelin. I supply I got that's an 18 to hit 18 to hit you do hit. Are you going after? One with a goat or one without a goat going after a goat. Okay sweet wait the goat itself for a soldier hard ones hungry You know I'm killing the javelin. I'm gonna go I'm gonna kill a kill a chose and holding a goat. I'm gonna call lightning on this thing too. You'll be able to hit all four of them with that. Really? Yeah. So they're all walking next to each other and they're gonna make deck saves. Are they male goats or female goats? What's the horn situation? Oh or one of each. Yeah, one of each. Yeah. Beautiful.

Okay, that's a 21 damage to everybody. 21 damage to everybody. So some of them are going to take half. They have so few HP. Hard one. You can't even like get any info out of these people. You just throw one javelin, explodes with lightning, you hear like, brother, did you hear that? What was that? All electrocuted to death. You turned them birds into lightning bugs. The goats look very sick now. I feel it. Yeah, are the goats still alive? Hard one, were you trying to save the goats? I was definitely trying not to roast the goats that'd be disgusting. I need them raw. Okay, then they're just hurt. They're just hurt.

Okay, then they're just hurt. They're just hurt. All right. You guys heal that goat. I'll save this one. Hold on, are the goats? I instinctually trust him. Good call, hard one. I get to work on mine, turning away from hard one.

Hard one, I think we need to try to get you to start micro-dosing. Micro-goating. Ha-ha-ha. Are the goats actually talking? No. Okay. It's a fantasy world. No. Okay. It's a fantasy world. The unicorn talk.

Okay. Pindergreens. What you man. Oh, you're still here. Hey. You're a killer job, Chee. You see Pentecostar runs out. All four of these shows and soldiers are just laying on the ground, sizzling.

They have these curly blonde locks. Do they have tickets to Fechella? You search their pockets. You do find a couple of bottles of milk. I hand them to Beverly. Hey, man, spread the wealth, but here you go, Boundor. Hey, thanks, man. I cheers with Boundnor and then we have a

chugging contest. Oh, I'm a roll to chug milk against Balnor. That's and roll high dude. That's not going to mix well Balnor. Yeah, I was going to say the two of you are hidden for lactose intolerance real quick. What did you get, Bev? That's a nat 20. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, again, I thought this was a walk in day. We're doing all this fighting. It's a big day, yeah, such a big day.

Walk it off though, walk it off though. I clean up Boundary's vomit, and then I guess I'm going to put one of the goats on my shoulder, because it seems like they were taking the goats into the mansion or the spire, right? Yes. OK, so let's pretend we were the Grubhub delivery. Okay, yeah, let's be a little, can we snip off some of

the golden locks and, uh, loom to our heads? Do you want to, like, put on their armor? No, we don't want to take their hair, who's in my head. I think we're just the hair, nothing else. But don't you get, man. All right, you guys, you guys cut off their hair, you put it on your head, you look like Moonshine with some hair taped to her head

Well, you look good as a blonde. Yeah, that's perfect Moonshine so we're not we're not putting on the armor. No, oh you certainly can't if you want But I just think this gold elox are just so convincing All right, oh, I'm a barbarian bitch. I don't do armor. That's true. I would not want to sell to your look. I was scalping that hair still.

Yeah, I figured just one smooth cut. I'll just say that my companions lost their armor in a bet. That's for more milk. Sweet. So, Bev, this little halfling puts on human armor. No one else puts on any armor. I mean, you can't if you want, Harbaugh. I'll put on the hair and turn into a bat again.

Look at that bat. Hard one is a hairy blonde bat. You guys all go towards this tower. And you see, besides these four guys, there's not a lot of activity here. There's not like guards out front or anything. It looks like these guys were out to get these goats specifically.

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The stones are all painted black, but there are gold frames with painted family portraits hanging on the ledges. You see a picture of a young skinny pentecost with his father who looks like a bigger version of him. And his mother who is this incorporeal banshee. There's a fluidity to her shape. She has the appearance of a black skeleton with red eyes surrounded by this blue aura. She doesn't have feet, the bottom of her just has this ghostly blue aura and she floats.

And you see a big portrait of Pentecost Senior over the fireplace and a bunch of candles around it, as well as a bunch of portraits of Pentecost junior growing up. And then you also see a picture of Pentecost's mom holding hands with Barrett Brisden. She wears a long black veil, and he is in ceremonial armor. It looks like a wedding photo. God damn it!

Pender Greenthal's about to say your mom sounds hot! Wait, why do you think she took this photo as a goof? Why do you guys think she would? Oh, you didn't know. Why do you think she would... who's this now? I grabbed moonshine.ine all right you chosen jackass Tell me what's going on. Oh, that's really good. Oh shit. Oh, I know who she is It's me Pentecost

Right That was good that was good. Yeah, I was a good shot Try stuff out. What are you guys doing? What do you do? He's see Panagostar trying. What do you guys think this dude is? Seriously.

I'll tell you what, Panagost, he is a knob. You're right on that. You're a knob, dude. Okay, let me just put this delicately. I think he has at least once fucked your mom. Yeah. Delicately, I think he has at least once fucked your mom. Yeah, I Inspect the photo and Jesus he looks hung you see this bulge right here Yeah I might at this shit I can always tell my dad's only been gone for like 10,000 years. How could she do this?

I mean she's a fine banshee, you know? That shouldn't be the same. Do I notice? Do I notice like a bulge of like pregnancy on the banshee? No, you don't. No, you don't. Can I sniff the air for pregnancy hormones? Can I give her a help action on that?

Yeah, go ahead and roll with the banids on a nature check to see if you get to smell if anyone's pregnant. Rollin' twins! Fuck! I got 215, so 19. 19. Um, one of the goats is pregnant. Oh!

I get on my knee and I said congratulations and I throw a baby shower for the goat. And um, Moonshine passed me that goat that's a delicacy Pop up I see him Ram Ram Ram hard one All right, you're fed you young warrior. Yes, you cannot have the double stuff goat stuff goat. Alright young feeling get back here. So you guys see stay away from the Dracula. That in this living area. You guys see staircase heading up and a staircase heading down and you hear from upstairs. I demand more goat blood, where are my goats? And you hear a very frightened choosen soldier goes.

Mrs. Briston, brother Elijah, and the others should be back soon with the goats. Look a lot, Moonshine. I'd tell you so, my locks. Not soon enough. You see, this one dude just gets thrown down the stairs. You see a choosen soldier, falls down the stairs stairs fully John wakes it

Grapplem Sweet you run over go ahead and give me a grapple check What do I have to strings? Yep cool 17 Something 17 cool. Are you putting like your are you putting like your hand over his mouth? Yes, okay? Cool. Are you putting like your are you putting like your hand over his mouth? Yes, okay Of course I'm doing no, he's just going for the ankles You just want to make sure you all have advantage on this one dude who just fell down the stairs I just wanted to nut up the guy Dude airpric yo, hey, come on

You This dude rolls down the stairs hard one you jump on him hold him down and I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk.

I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk.

I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. And you lift your hand back and he goes, what are you doing here? I cast Command on him. I think it's always like a one word.

I used to pass a wisdom saving. Cool. He rolled a NAT 3. Great. The word is Alliance. Cool. You work for us now. Where are the goat delivery squad? Right, yes, the goat delivery squad. Good, good. You can bring the goats up to Mrs. Briston.

All right, follow us. Eliza, was it? No, no, no, brother Eliza was the other one. My name is Brother Elliott. Okay, Elliott, I'm gonna call you Flopsy now. That's absolutely cool with me. You see, he has shit himself. Yeah.

I kinda gesture to the others. Should we go? Yeah, full disclosure, I ate one of the goats. Which one? Which of the three? The plumpest, not the pregnant one. Oh yeah. Oh, I think the father was putting on a lot of sympathy weight.

That's gotta be it. Is that a thing? OK. No, it's trying to be better. It's better, not be. They have front short. They have front short. OK.

So you guys go up this spiral staircase and the tower narrows as you get higher until you finally reach the top floor and the master bedroom. Oh, before we go in, should I while shape into a goat? So that as soon as she tries to eat me, I turn into a big bad moonshine. moonshine, why do you even have to ask? Can I, when moonshine turns into a goat, I want to put the blonde wig back on her head. Hold on, are we trying to kill my mom?

I thought we were trying to go to Fichela. I mean, we might have to do it. Why are we killing my mom? Well, we're going to kill your stepdad. How's that sound? Dude, yeah, dude, I'm in. So freaking in. You talk to your mom, we'll kill your stepdad and then we'll go to Fetchela. It seems like a big day. So are you turning into a goat? Yeah. All right, lunch on wild shapes into a goat. You guys get to the top of the tower. You see that the door to the master bedroom is open.

Like the downstairs, it's all black and gray stone with a little bit of orange from candlelight. The furniture is all beautiful antiques. This dark wood and gold. but it's weirdly menacing. The posts of the bed are all pointed and sharp as a dagger. You see various evidence of black magic terrifying tomes with moving faces, blood runes and candles on the floor. And you see lounging on the bed is Pentecost's mom.

She has unhinged her jaw and just finished eating a goat. You see, she swallows another goat. More goats! I have the goat for you, ma'am. This is a premium goat. You're going to love it. You can see how big and plump its utter is. Man.

You see, Pentecost is just hiding around the corner. It's like, oh, fork, what are we doing? Fine, good job, goat delivery boy. Bring me this goat. I carry goat moonshine across the threshold. Sweet, go ahead and give me a deception check. Can I help on that? Sure. Yeah.

That is a 19. Okay. You see, she goes, good, good. This looks like a delicious goat. Her jaw unhinges, and she goes to swallow you, Moonchine. Okay.

Three, two, one. Attack! I'm turning the moon shot with my fucking sword in her brain! Oh my God! Go ahead and make an attack with advantage. I'm turning the motion with my fucking sword in her brain. I, oh my god. Yeah. Go ahead and make an attack with advantage. You see, PandaGas looks in, so are we, where's my stepdad?

Is he in here? You see he's fully not in here. We're going to go to fetch all of you. Doesn't 27 hit? Yes, it does. How many other chosen are in the room? None. Oh, I thought that Ellie it was up here.

Eliza or whatever. One, yeah, one dude. OK. Yeah. Well, just a woman in her bed that would just have a 20. And then I'm going toore her for another six. You see, you get inside this banshee suddenly turned into an elf.

I see her jaw falls all the way to the floor. He stab up through her head explosion of fire, shoot poison into her. Ah, ah, bad goat, bad goat, you've done a bad job. She throws moonshine up all this disgusting banshee goo fills the room What are you doing who are you? And Panda Cost comes around the corner. It's me mom What are you doing the real question?

Oh Finally my son is back you never call here. Well, I've been a freaking necklace Belly chain belly chain and a belly chain for brief stint Brief best years of your life. It was a cop it was a good couple days. So be honest And she goes look I'm sure you're upset, but I invited you to the wedding. You just never got your, you just never got the invitation. Look, you're still having your mail sent here. Your, your stepfather was all excited about these tickets that you got. Step, dad, excited. What did he do with those tickets, ma'am?

He was saying something about how he had to try to make an army in the Feywild, but it hadn't worked out But now we can go there and start a new army at feccella He said there'd be a big crowd. He could I don't know. I don't listen to him when he goes off about Faye Shella. I like to eat goats. How romantic. You know, we have our own separate interests and I think that's fine. You need to compartmentalize sometimes. Are you telling that to me or yourself, ma'am? Yeah, I gotta be honest. It sounds like he's giving you lines. I'm going to give you an information check. giving you lines. Go ahead and give me an infraspasion check.

Oh shout out to the seven bread rings. You see she goes, you just stabbed me in the mouth with all due respect. Honestly, I thought you were going to be a little more threat than you were. We're sorry about that. We need the rest of the fake cello tickets though, because we're gonna go get your man. I don't know what he did with the fake cello tickets. He took them down to his office.

What do you mean his office? My room is down there in the sub-basement. You haven't lived here for a long time. We had no reason to keep the- Oh no! He did not turn right, freaking Berlin or an office. You see, Pentecost starts running down the stairs. Yeah, Hand is mother at goat, and I read. Not the pregnant one though, right?

I take a pregnant one with me. Yeah, yeah. That was the one I was trying to hand her. So now she's- Oh, is that another one of those bad goats that stabs you? Yeah, this goat, don't ever touch this goat because it will stab and poison you all right I will raise it as one of my own Freakin rest mom

I guess we'll follow pender Girls to this up basement. Yeah. Is that like a basement below the basement? So is it like unfinished? Yeah, dude, it's finished with freaking corn posters, Lincoln Park, freaking cold chamber, man. You got pool table down there. There's fiberglass. There's not enough. Well, you know, I had like a pretty sweet gaming set up in the basement or had like a dream cast like a second share. It's pretty dope. But I'm sure he's fricked it all up freaking knob. You guys take these stairs down, down, down, walking deep below the earth. The way is lit by torchlight. The walls are all black and gray.

Until you get to the bottom and you reach this long hallway, you walk across the highway. You walk across the hallway. You walk across the highway. Yeah. I go to the boat, please. I go to the boat, please. Meet your friends, yeah fun.

You guys reach the end of the hall and you see a doorway, but no dorm. There is a sign hanging above it that reads, man cave. Oh, this knob, dude. This dude is a knob. I pull it down and put it in our bag of holding. Nice. You're cool.

You see the words man and cave are each written on their own separate wooden boards hanging on strings on two nails above the passage. DIY, love it. It's gonna be some kind of Lord of the Rings, trickery. Hard one you take the boards off the wall. And what happens? How do you guys proceed? We enter, we enter. All of you?

No. No. Man, cave, man, cave. What does man cave mean? Right now there's nothing up. Okay, hard one took down the sign. Okay, I'll just go in. I'll just reach for the door. Okay. Okay, Moon Shine, you stick your hand. Moon Shine, stick your hands through the door. How much my heeled for? 14 psychic damage. Oh no. I want to take the two signs out of the bag, flip them over and write on the back Beverly's room. Yeah.

Sweet. Bev, you write Beverly's room on the back of these signs and you hang them above the door. I walk into my room. Bev, you walk in and you do not take any psychic damage. Yes. Yes. Oh.

Can I walk into? Hard one. Walks in and takes 10 psychic damage. Oh, no. As he tries to enter Beverly's room. Wait, do I need to invite him in? No. Okay.

You invite him in, he goes through, he takes another site. Oh, no, no, sorry. I didn't do that. Bev, you're inside now. You see a pool table, several couches, along wooden bar with stools behind it, and the, you see the wall is lined with wooden casks with taps on them. You see the room is decorated with various pictures of Barrett Brisden and various awards and medals of courage.

You also see many religious symbols, various versions of the chosen golden sword, the symbol of the Allah. You also see several signs that look similar to the man cave one. You see there are some religious ones that say praise theala, the light is right, as well as a few other strangely aggressive ones like vampire hunting zone, milk can turn a boy into a man. And we don't serve crick-elves. Oh.

I run running again! Ah, yeah. Moonshine and Papa, I go through and are just instantly electrocuted. Alright, um, and you see much like the man cave. Sign, uh, each word is its own board and they're hung closely together to, um, Okay, okay. Go easy sentences. First things first, I got again, they're, get in there so I can change it to,

we don't deserve Crick Elves. Woo! We don't deserve you. We don't. I bring moonshine, all of the placards, so that you can arrange the meshy pleases. Sweet. We don't deserve Crick Elves and then I give it back. Okay, you're just writing we don't deserve Crick Elves over the top.

Yeah, it was just a joke. I don't hurt us. It don't hurt me because of it. Right. Moonshan makes it a Crick Room, she walks in. Hard one makes it a vampire room, he walks in. Turn it back to Man Cave and Balnor walks in and you guys are all in.

Ha ha ha ha. Balnor cracks another bud, heavy. Hell yeah. Nope. Actually speaking of, can we order some whiskey's on stage? Is that okay to do? That's great. I'll take a bourbon on the rocks.

You want one, Bev? Absolutely. I'll take a picture. I'll take a picture. I'm good. I'll take a diet coke. Oh, nice. Murfph while we're waiting on those whiskeys can I do a quick porno check in the room? Sure go ahead and make an

investigate check. Oh I want to see some hot banshee. Investigate is going to be a six. Six. I don't want to find the porno. You don't you don't find a nudie mag but you do see a magazine called Bahumi is most clothed singles. And it's people with many layers of clothes on. Wow. This dude is such a knob. Belly buttonless. And you see, Pentecost goes up to where the tapped casks are in the wall and starts hitting them

and goes, there used to be a freaking door back here to my sub basement room where the hell is it? It's to change everything. Oh, this isn't even the sub basement room? No, the sub basement is below the basement. Sorry. Yeah, well we should do a quick check to try and find these fake chill tickets, right? All right. What the fuck do you care about getting to the sub basement? You haven't lived here in a year's You said that's where his office was. I'm gonna see you how bad the damage is if you took the corn posters Okay, I see that's probably where the fake chill tickets are. I pull on every trophy in post I pull on every trophy in sword sweet Bev you just go around to start pulling stuff, wrecking everything.

Pentecost joins you. Yo, there's kids rules. Let's freaking... Let's tag this place. Let's go, hey, let's go ape. Let's get nasty lot open here. What's the floor maintenance? Like tiles.

Stone? Yeah. It's amazing. All right, can I use stone shape to make a passage through the stone? You absolutely can. So Munchan you shape the stone and You see there is now a hole where once there was this big rock And you see that there's a bit of a drop and you see a stairwell below. Oh, that's where my freaking

Stubbeagement is the corn poster better be there. Pettigas jumps down that there's a bit of a drop and you see a stairwell below. Oh, that's where my freaking store basement is. The corn poster better be there. Pentecost jumps down. We follow. Yeah, I'll go down. Cool. You guys run down and you guys find another doorway to Barrett Brisden's office.

You see, there are no corn posters. There is just a small desk with papers A top thumb is an envelope. You see there are various motivational signs on the wall and an exercise bike I hug I hug pender gas He puts an exercise bike. I'm so fucking sorry. I used to have a black light in here, man I know it cost me freaking $70 at hot topic I know and he just tossed it. I know man. He freaking tossed it's not your fault Please

Hey pinder grass my my dad's been kind of giving me some trouble lately, too You're do you want to like work out some aggression on this bike? Yeah, do you strike this bike? Rook this bike! It's take a pedal! You guys just ride it together very quickly. The bend is not done as ass workout today. That is true!

Look at this flat ass. I can't see it. Where is it? Bev Rolfer ass pump. Woo! It's a 19, 19. Looking, looking, plump. It's been paying off. All right. So you guys also see a hook in the wall with a loot hanging from it.

And above it, there is a sign that reads, loot of Holy Rock. And next to it is an empty hook. This instrument appears to be missing. The sign above it reads, golden harp of mind control. What do y'all think that's for? I can't read the sign. See, Balnor's drunk again. I don't know. What do you mean again? He's been drunk this entire time. See, Balnor's drunk again. I don't know. What do you mean again?

He's been drunk this entire time. I sobered up, right? That's right. I was in the man cave, dude. You think I wasn't gonna crack a couple? You've got one between each finger. And you guys see on the desk, you see an envelope full of tickets. They glow with this magical green energy, except for this one that is separate from the rest on its blank.

It looks like it was already used. On the active tickets, you see the print reads, Faye Chela, special headliner, kid cobald, say, Faye Chela to redeem your ticket. Okay, I'm gonna grab that loot of Holy Rock. Yes. Sling it over my back. Nice. Merf here with a quick comment, I'm going to frequently call the Golden Harp, the Golden Loot, later in the episode. Just know that anytime I talk about the Golden something I'm talking about the harp, the

loot is a different thing. Thanks. And then I'm gonna grab a the harp, the loot is a different thing, thanks. And then I'm gonna grab a ticket and say, hey, Jella. Wait, oh, she's gone. You see Mochette's gone. Yeah, I'll do that too. Sweet.

So I guess me and Pinter Grasser are still on the bike. Ugh. What do you think, man? Do you wanna do some hit training or what? I'm breaking, yeah, I'm breaking a sweat here. Let's keep going. You want to min it on min it off for it. Min it on 15 minutes later Pentecostas is dick it is Is there anything left in the room that I should grab you look around?

There's a mini fridge full of milk What flavor White just regular regular old milk. Hell yeah Beverly grabs some vitamin D Does a boy good? Yeah, I grabbed some milk and then I I touched the ticket. Fee-chella sweet You touched the ticket and didee-jella. Sweet. You touched the ticket. Did my pregnant goat transport with me? Have you been carrying her around the whole time?

Yes, like a baby. She's there, yeah. OK. You see, she's in the bib with pop-off. Ram. Ram. Ram. We're allowed to bring food in.

Ram. Ram. Damn. I summon one more steed for a hard one. Here, I give him a snake. Suck on this. I swallow the snake. Like a noodle. So you guys eat your snakes, pre-game. We got our drinks. So you guys touch your

tickets and you cheers everybody. Thank you. And you guys are transported to the Fey Wild. This beautiful open field with long green grass and flowers blowing in a sweet summer breeze, you are surrounded. Murph here, the picture on the projector, just changed to a music festival. You're surrounded by dry ads and saders and cut off jean shorts and flower headbands,

as well as honey goblins. Good morning. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Immediately comes up and grabs you guys. Super excited. Good morning. Hard one, you can eat him. Ha ha ha ha.

Awesome. Ha ha ha ha. Before I eat him, I ask if he has any arcane. Oh, I have plenty. I eat him. Ha ha ha ha has any arcane. I eat him. The crowd is going too crazy, but hard one brutally murder someone in front of a crowd. You guys have arrived at Faye Chilla, the Faye Wild's greatest musical festival, but something here ain't right. The audience watches the stage in a strange trance. They are frankly way too into it.

And on the stage is Barrett Briston. There's a burly chosen angel in full plate mail, strumming a golden lute and singing any sings. If I pray here, if I just pray here, will you march with me and take over the world? And the audience eats it up. Oh no, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Don't forget to add four boys and girls. Oh, I'm going to have advantage on that because I'm just good at shit. Haha. That's a 22 for me. Shout out to the two crew.

Oh! If I couldn't roll the 20, I'm proud to roll the two. I got a 24. Okay. Hard one. What's going on? You're swaying to the beat. Pentecost and hard one are like, there's kind of rules He's got it. I got to give it to him man. I turn to pet you're my best friend

My fucking best friend. Dude my stepdad rules. He's good at music man. That's cool, man Moonshine, Bev and Balnor are not tricked But you guys see the rest of the crowd that are all watching like rabid zombies, everybody screaming and cheering and Briston finishes up and he takes the mic and he goes, thank you, thank you, it's been an honor performing for you little pukes. Before you were wasting your lives on drugs and alcohol but now you're drinking milk and following the light. You all will be my new army and take the Feywild, the name of the goddess. But before that, I need you to prove yourselves to me. Destroy your false idol.

You see everyone screams and cheers as two chosen guards drag a cobalt in from backstage. That's cool. He's got sunglasses and a duster. The singer of pursuit of Dragon Eggs? Yeah. Hard one, give me a new wisdom saving throw with advantage. That's.

Shut up to the one funds, but I will use the 16, actually, I have my fill. Okay, hard one. I had anything to wisdom Yeah, don't it's not even no, it's my plus four oh 20 hard one you snap out of it you boys in trouble And you see they are carrying kid cobalt towards this rabid crowd It's the guy from the speaking stone shit mr. Solo dolo

from the speaking stone. Shit, Mr. Solo Dolo. Oh my God, we need to put him in a red solo cup so he can project his light onto the crowd. I think they're just going to kill him. This rules, dude. Pentecost just singing along. Wait, I want to try and crowd surf up to the front. Oh, yeah.

Go ahead and give me a persuasion check, all right. He's so light. His ass is so flat. It's not exist. Yeah, I'm like a board. Okay, 17 17 Okay, Beth they are so wrapped up into it. They just throw you up on top of the crowd and they start Pushing you towards the stage as kid cobalt is coming off of the stage What I grab him. You go to grab him. You see Barrett Briston notices you at the last second. Go ahead and make an opposed dexterity check.

Okay. Barrett. Dexter, are you saving? No, just check. That's going to be a nine. Do I add anything to that? Your dex. Okay, that's going to be a nine. Do I add anything to that? Um, your decks. Um, okay, that's going to be a nine.

Okay. I, you see, Barrett Briston sees you and goes, what are you doing here? You didn't like my song? Um, and he looks up panicked, uh, and he notices you guys in the crowd. You see he grabs kid cobalt and begins flying away. Oh, okay, Earthb fine. Earth's fine. What? What is that?

What kind of saving throws you, Mick? Strength saving throw. He's pretty strong. He's a big, strong dad. He got a nat seven. So anyway, you slice it. That's not gonna be good for him. You see vines shoot up out from the ground,

wrap around Barrett Brisden as he's trying to fly away, wrap around his ankles, and he goes, no, no, no, no, like this, no, like this, get them. And you see a bunch of the dry ads turned towards you guys. Everybody roll initiative. and he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As Barry Brisden starts to yell, as he starts to get worked up, you see his wings begin to expand and he gets more bird-like. Stop it! Stop it! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Are you into fraud, chicken? He let's out a terrifying squawk. Go ahead and give me, everybody give me wisdom saving throws.

This is a charming thing. No, this is against being frightened. Shout out to three more free states. Beverly, this is the most terrifying thing you've ever seen. The squawk. But hold on, hold on, I do out afford it at, so I got a seven. This is the second most terrifying thing you've ever seen. Just walk. Wait, but hold on, hold on. I do out of forward to that, so I got a seven. This is the second most terrifying thing you've ever seen. I got an 18.

Hard one, this looks like a tasty snack. 14. 14, moonshine, extremely scary. Oh, those talents are so sharp. So moonshine. He's gonna scold me. moonshine and Bev are super scared. So, Moonshine. He's gonna scold me. Moonshine and... Laura.

Bev are super scared. Hard one, that is your turn. You see, the squawk has kind of turned the trishes and the honey goblins and stuff out of it, and they go, what is his deal? What is he like, some kind of bird? I thought he'd look super cool before, but what is going on?

Can I ask a question? Is he still playing the loot? He is not still playing the loot. He's now kind of frazzled. He's flying away half bird. He's got in one talent kid cobalt. Hey guys, help, please. And in the other one, he's got the golden loot. Okay, so am I close enough to the stage that I can attack him? Yeah.

Cool. I'm going to turn and wink at a trance real quick Like hey, uh, go ahead and give me a purse. Wait. Go ahead and give me a purse. Wait here, and check with advantage Oh, no, with disadvantage for asking she just smells the desperation What's your deal Do I I'd bebs for that? No, it's not saving me. Okay, so that's a 12. That's a 12.

I can smell goat on you. Did you eat like a whole goat? Like I smell the hair. Not an entire goat, goissed. You rush forward, Bear Prisons trying to get away and you swing on him. Cool. Watch this, Triss. 25.

Super intense. Yeah. Now is the Tris impressed? I mean, I guess that's kind of cool. Don't. I like it. I have some money, but. I ate your brother.

13 damage. What? Why? I'll take my second attack on Brisbane. What about my brother? That is a 23 to hit. Super hits. That is...hold on. Hold on.

Nine damage. Cool. Not that hard. Oh, my bite attack. Ooh, he is mortal, even though he's a bird. So you will get some health back from biting him. You go, you'll bite this big bird. That is a 23 to bite the bird.

Sweet hits. And 12 damage on the bird. Nice. I'm going to use my action surge here. Oh. Oh. That's right. Feel the bird. Nice. I'm gonna use my action surge here. Oh! Oh! That's right. Feel the surge.

Uh, wink at Triss with both eyes, which is a blink. Why are you closing your eyes while you're biting this giant weird eagle man? Indicating to look at it. What's about to happen? I'm gonna try to grapple the, uh the harp the golden thing whatever the fuck he has Oh, you're gonna grab it out of his hands sweet. Yes Yeah, go ahead and roll oppose grapple against him. Okay He rolled a net three so oh, okay, that's a 16 oh

You this weak little talent you he breaks a nail off his talent as you pull the golden harp from him. Cool. Hey, what about me, man? I'm an actual person. I can't call him just yelling. Shoot him! Everyone, shoot him!

Give me the loot back! Give me the loot back! You have your action, sir. Do you have another attack if you'd like? Give another couple. I'm going to turn into a bat. Can I do that? That's a full action, sir. Do you have another attack if you'd like? You have another couple. I'm gonna turn into a bat. Can I do that? That's a full action. Fine.

Forget it then. I'm gonna throw the harp to moonshine. Oh. Ah! Ah! Throw the harp to moonshine. I'll let you take another attack if you'd like too. Great.

Just to clarify, is it a Harper elute? It's a harp. I've got a loop. She's got a separate thing. Okay. What the hell, I can't resist. I'm gonna try to a bite Kid a Harper elute. It's a heart. Oh, she's got a separate thing. What the hell I can't resist I'm gonna try to a bite kid cobalt sweet Bite kid cobalt. Yeah, I'm just a dude man. Why I'm a fucking vampire. That's a 23 super hits It's only 12 damage It's not dead is he I don't want to kill him. I just want to taste. Um

Kid cobalt is you feel him drift in unconsciousness as you bite into him Taste like genius is all He's going from night to day Was not having was not planning on having to roll dead saving throws or kid cobalt because of hard one But you see kid cobalt because of hard one But you see Kicalbal passes out That is Barrett's turn

Barrett goes I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now here you you fucking have him if you want to kill him Throw his kid cobalt down on the ground takes a beak attack against hard one Oh my god be bite. This is a trashy fight. 28 damage on the beak. It's a fierce beak. Well you know what I'm gonna you I'm gonna tie my hair up into a quick top knot and use my hellish rebuke on that. Nice. That really hurt though. Yeah, he's got a role to match. It's like a 2Kan. I wrote 17, and he rolls a saving throw. Okay, he's going to take the full 17.

Yeah. Vicious headband. Then he's going to take some talent attacks. Mrs. on the first talent attacking, it's hard one. Mrs. on the first talent attacking it's hard one. Mrs. on the second talent attacking it's hard one. Moonshine, that is strong card. Your competitive vampire in his food. Ah!

Stop! I could just tell he's disappointed in me. Moonshine, that's your turn. You have this golden loot. I'm gonna just start playing it. I am no stranger to string instruments, so I'm just gonna let my fingers do what they do best. Um, Moon Chien, go ahead and roll a performance check with advantage, um, with the big green

dye. Yes. With the big green dye? Oh, ooh! Get down there. Murf here, Emily is walking down to the front of the stage and rolling in front of the audience. Yeah! Emily gets a seven on her first roll.

What did you roll? 13. Okay. Adam Mob, that's a 20. It is, right? 15. 15. Okay, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to roll the big dice now. I'm gonna get in front of the stage. Barrett Brisden is going to try to sing his song without the golden loot and try to beat this 15. Murph here I have walked to the edge of the stage and I am singing my if I pray here song to a chorus of booze. I roll the performance check. It's a 14. Do you add anything to that? He gets a plus one. What do you do? Hey, Twinn, I'm 15 too.

That's a roll off. That's a roll off. All right. All right. I don't know how he goes. Here you go. He's the play kid, Cuddy right now, but if that's a possibility we should do. Murph here, I roll first.

That's a 19. That's a 19. She's got a roll of 20 here, folks. She gets plus two. Emily rolls hers. And it does not go well. It really hovered on the 20. Oh, damn.

10. You notice fine. I make music for myself, not for the audience, you know. So you guys do see, Barrett is maintaining some of the audience. Moonshine has about half of it. They're going back and forth. That is Balnor. Can I wink at the trist that I edged to see if she recognizes this fanger movement?

Yes. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor runs forward. Balnor takes an attack, hits for six damage against Barrett Brisbane. Yeah, baby. Hits again for seven damage. That is Bev's turn. I want to minor illusion at Golden Harp into my hands. OK. And then I look at Barrett Brisbane and say,

like, how are you going to stand up to this? And then I guess, I don't know, I just start playing my best rendition of a kid cutie song, of a kid cobalt song. Nice. Pursuit of Dragon Eggs, of course. Let's do a roll-off. All right, roll-off, baby. Murf here again, called one I take to the front of the stage

and I roll first. That's a nine. Let's give it up for young Beverly. Yeah. Yeah. The lattice asked in Bahumia. Caloo. Cala.

Caloo. Cala. Caloo. Cala. Caloo. Cala. Palo! Grant me the power to rock! This is for Irland. Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Calu Oh

Sweet P. Please do not be a two is arguably lucky Bevere rolls again 14 Do I get to add anything to that? Yeah, your performance. Oh. And you're a little performer. That's going to be a 22. Oh. 22. Oh.

Oh. Bev, you became a colloucoulai. Colloucoulai. Bev, you begin playing this magical harp. Moonshine is playing along with you. She's got the one with the arcane power. You kind of take center stage and are able to draw attention away from Barrett. You see he is pulled out of the air by Moonshine's vines and all the dryads and everything start leaping on him.

As the entire crowd joins Beverly. Here's what I say? Golden harp, sing so true, a light in the dark, Kalei. Kaleu. So you guys have defeated Barrett Bristin. You see the crowd is fully on your side. Would you guys like to do a solo performance? Or would you like Kid Cobalt to come back?

Beverly, did you cast Revivify? I'm going to hold up. Let me actually, I'm going to hold up. You guys see Kid Cobalt is dead. Listen up, Trissus. Y'all like Kid Cobalt, but I'm the guy that ate him! It makes me pretty cool too! I take out my wood blocks.

I spin the dowel in my hand. I want to say, I think I'm going to move to the instrument I know best. And I want to take a trist and just like Make her moan in like Beautiful Starts making out with a trist. I I'd tap up handy Andy. Nice Now with all the trist's Sators and honey goblins in the audience please join the band of boobs as they sing the

POD hit slash kid cobalt smash hit youth of the nation Ready The youth of the nation, we are, we are. The youth of the nation, we are. And that's our show, everybody. Thank you guys so much for listening and thank you again to everyone who came out. It really was such an amazing experience. Getting to play for you all.

Head on over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, POD don't sing yet. If you'd like to listen to our short rest, we'll talk about the episode. And fun times we had in Chicago. Guys, we also have a new shirt in the store. It is a Fei Chela shirt.

So go on over to NADPOD.com to check that out. Guys, we'll be back next week with another Canon episode, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Until then, tweet about the show using Hashtag NAD Pod. That's NADD, POD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show, everybody. And that means I need to shout out

our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven. Once one, a game of hide and seek against his cousins by simply going into a dark room that they were too scared to enter. J. Loma, 72, aka Steelbreaker, hard ones, Jim Spiration. Also, Papa's Jim Spiration, he's been looking to get into working out ever since he's had his first battle. Dylan B is Sword-Wielding Wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, works as a landscaper, works fast, but not well.

Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted a hard one senior portrait at the dwarf image. Danny is looking to update with hard ones newly translucent skin. Spencer Cascbrue, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike, currently sharing a bud heavy with JV and Moridan. Beard man Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohemia stretches all the way into Shadowfell where a few ghouls are currently stuck in it. Scott D, JV's dad, who kept him in a rage

and was unceremoniously killed by Old Cobb. Hermes W, the Bat King, Hermes is ordered that hard one be killed because they fear hard bat will come for their throne. Spartus, the biggest, meanest, green teen with the size of Dirlin and the attitude of a Gwain. Adam R. the R-rated assassin started the Bahumian action movie, fuck up all the fucking fuckers.

Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly, she farted in the one big bed and stunk it up for everyone. Hugh C, aka, Haldor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crudon the SS Stormborn, and Fodalongside, Elias and Red. Once got super pissed at Red and Polymorphed him into a rat and he's just like that now. Daniel U, aka, Multifor, the many face magician, also the many AST magician. Daniel has countless asses. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, played a sick remix of Monster Mash at Pentegr 30th Birthday Jam. Jeff Reyes, Lord of the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and Lover of the Written

Word. That's right, Jeff is right, Alfgargo's Punch 36 times. Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy turned-crick bark attack, you better believe Cutter added a water slide to every stump at the creek. John Ass, aka, Shupr The Mushroom, Shupr was recently eaten by Pentegrin's mom, but luckily was spit up when moonshine stabbed her. Ryan M, hard one's ram, who is definitely healthy and definitely still alive, Godspeed, Ryan. Elena C, one of the chosen guards who was bringing the goats to Pentegrades family tower, was one day away from retiring before hard one electrocuted them and all their friends.

Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumon in, created a special shadow fell shot that is served on a plate. Andrew M. gave Pentegrades his first corn poster. Victor T. Bounder's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, Victor can't even look at a piece of white bread with meawanna without tearing up. Just an eye, a wizard who can't read, but memorized a bunch of spells and is super good at faking it.

Jacob C. A fighter who pretends they can't read, to seem tough around their friends, but secretly love scrolls. Alina M. Alonis' roommate at the Magic Academy was super annoyed that Alonis was always smoking in the room, but now Elena likes to brag about knowing one of the legendary heroes. Mick Pux, the amazing co-master who programmed our website, also killed Pentecost's dad. Earl and Kathleen L. Two peas in a pod, literally, which curse them and now their beans. Jive G, a mighty dog heath, which is like the dog version of a frog heath. Jive mostly uses their weird back tentacles to catch Frisbee's.

Jostritch, the Joc ostrich, plays ultimate Frisbee with Jive and uses their long neck to intercept the Frisbee. It's a healthy rivalry. Demurr, Ramdaniel's evil twin, painted their hooves black to show how twisted they are. I mean, they were already black, but now they're midnight onyx. Jennifer V has a V even more vicious than Cobbs and Dead Eyes, their secret. They made a deal with Akarot's Jack's brother, Akahot. Destin C ate a piece of magical fruit, and now they have all the powers of fruit.

That's right, Destin can produce seeds at will. Devon be the bodega lord. Even after the all his occupation of Glateron, Devon still proudly sells nudy mags, explicit ones too. Keep fighting the good fight, Devon. Sergio sells our Solomon Sakurai desu Kwanis, 7th of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with snweets, snake patterns on his skin. Sergio is so sexy his abs can be used as a literal washboard. Michael L owns an enchanted coin that always comes up heads. Unfortunately both heads are sentient and always loudly proclaiming that Michael L is a huge

cheater. Sam H. Alonus's dealer for their biweekly poker night, no one shuffles like Sam, they also sell Alonus drugs. Traylay the cray-fay who's in a K, that's right, Trailei's gone to play in the ocean spray of a small low-elevation sandy island on the surface of a coral reef. Eren G. Master of the banishment spell, after an unfortunate incident, Eren is no longer allowed to play Where's Your Nose with her nieces and nephews. Jory S. Ajacked Wizard.

They don't make robes in Jory's size, which is fine, because Jory just learned to produce Jorts and Tanktop spell. Alucard, a reverse Dracula, is definitely allergic to's size, which is fine because Jury just learned to produce Jorts and Tank Top spell. Alucard, a reverse Dracula, is definitely allergic to figs, which it turns out are the opposite of Garla Kunu. Baby Dog, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section, performs black market surgery in the Esri fighting pits in exchange for arcane-laced pacifiers. Atom H, a chef on a quest to make the perfect slider, the problem is they don't have anyone to test it on.

If you know any non-vampires who'd love to try a huge pile of sliders, let us know. Colin G, a fighter subclass who uses a bladed boomerang in combat, unfortunately don't, they don't learn how to catch the boomerang for another two levels hanging their Colin. Ryan, hard ones ram after escaping from frost wind. Ryan has started a new life, they have three kids, a well-paying job, and a spouse who loves, just kidding, this sheep is dead. Big Buck, pregnant Elk Munchan's Elkin Baby, recently started dating Baby Doxer. They're a little young, but they're really good together.

It's a match made in heaven and also the time out sack. Richard F, a vampire who dropped their wedding ring into a toilet that accidentally hit the flusher while trying to fish it out, strangely enough this is how 80% of vampires die. Richard X Machina introduced the Crick to Sudoco, or as one clever petri has heard calling it brainwaffles. Troy McSee, an adventurer who goes on lavish spending sprees every time they enter a new town, has Renee's private speaking stone number. Cannibalistic Cthulhu currently traveling across the multiverse on a secret quest to find

their dimensional doppelgangers and then eat them. Sam L, a hairless fangs to backsy, Sam is self-conscious about their look and wears a full body to pay made from the fur of lesser tabaxes who mock them. Damm are a Soto-genese. Damm possesses the power of all soft drinks, basically a Coca-Cola freestyle machine with legs. Josh S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the cobalt, one of their arms is a gun, which is great, but it makes lifting weights way more hazardous.

Blitzbrig, Dmitry, owner of Dorgers Big Borger, at Hardwands Behes, Dmitry finally started putting real donkeys in their donkey sauce. Caleb Storm, Cut Bear and Quartz Great Hall, also Waterglass Bear on Quartz Mighty Nightstand. Nicholas C has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohemia, including porn. Nicholas is the only A-list porn star. Mike H. A wizard who cast Gizzard at a ninth level that turns their enemies into the digestive

tract of a chicken. Kevin S. Water Genossee who only travels on water skis, even on land is remarkably inconvenient. Matthew E. A Goblin with a little limp that makes them hobble, but Matthew is not a hobgoblin, just a hoblin goblin got it. Samuel B. A change link so hot that they've opted to never change faces. Why would they? Samuel is a straight up 11. Till for G. author of the hit children's book and movie, Elfgar goes punch, pop-os thanked by naming the acknowledgments for the negotiations he did on the underlying IP. Dac Alpha, the drunk monk and enlightened drunken master water genocid has actually never tasted water.

Dac, that now gene is full of gin, a now gin if you will. Curtis S, a grim hawk shell who recently invented music. Mostly it's just Curtis slapping a wall out of time, but it's a huge hit in the community. Colton B and Elf Bar who recently went on a Vision Quest or Shadowfellon is now taking noise back to the Feywild. Yens Christian T happens to be Jensland Dill's other half brother, but on his dad's side, so Yens Christian T and Nyak are unrelated, sorry bro. Gage M, a hunk monk, has never had to fight in a battle because all their enemies instantly

changed their mind and proposed to gauge. Melanie F aka Tivana Seragon and SMR Paladin who drunkenly saw a blood oath but forgot what for has been so over 3 weeks though and I almost have it I think nah fuck it can't I get a vodka crann. Aaron C. a barbarian who fights with a mate may studded with their enemies teeth it's not as sharp as steel spikes but it's super gross. Hannah F, a fighter who has spent their life fighting for the right to par, take, kick it! Montana Mardark, a horny nannier fly.

The nannier fly would have single-handedly cross-bred with any insect moonshine wanted, but when moonshine caught her specimen, Montana Mardark was off somewhere, fulkin. L&D, the fiercest woman in Bohemia, so fierce, Beyonce asks explicit permission to use the name Sasha Fierce because she feared Ellen's retribution. Carbrio, Chapa Hill FPV, a Crick-El for the NAC for winning eating competitions, recently took home first prize at Carburetos, the best burrito place in Carbrio. Chad A, wizard with a floppy little wand, but don't laugh at Chad, Chad will turn you into a fucking frog for that.

Reese, NS, a d'Orv and chaff chef who makes delicious chocolates and hands them out in small portions called Reese's Pieces. TJM was living in the necklace before Pentecost, gave them the boot, now TJM lives in a really 6 studio apartment. RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin, RPKB has no wheels and needs to be carried everywhere. Their fan is also broken so their metal body is very, very hot. Taylor S, aka Trash the Traveler, Trash most recent travels brought them to Chicago with the band and boobs got to meet them in person.

We miss you already, Trash. Anime intellect, a rogue who uses their stealth to steal, worthers and sell them at a huge premium to shells and chattelfel. Zolo Dolo, cobalt Cutie's alter ego who is now Hard One's vampire spawn. Hey Zolo, welcome back from the dead, huge fan. Joshua C invented the Abroler Olcobb used to get his Vicious V, Joshua's V is so vicious if you look right at it you take psychic damage. Larissa J, a tiny little gnome who uses a mini disposable floss stick as a bow and fires tiny toothpicks adorable but also can very easily blind you.

Genevieve F. Her Majesty Claudette rides in a battle in a horse-drawn carriage and emerges to fight a top up Palinquin. Also their sword is just as big as a diamond. Dylan CM, the wannabe DM aka Third Cousin Dylan, mom told you to play with Third Cousin Dylan but they're just lighting matches and burning leaves on the back porch. Kelvin Noodle's the pasta elemental sleeps under sheets of lasagna noodles with two Reveoli's for pillows. B-Money, Boundar's hip hop alter ego turns out

that's where he was when Hard One got turned into a vampire in the recording studio. Andrew A, a lord of Shadowfell before Pendergast. They weren't unseated or anything, they just retired once they finished paying for their kids college. Jay, dated Pendergast's mom, before she met Barrett Brisden, They weren't unseated or anything to just retire once they finished paying for their kids' college. J.D.Penergost's mom, before she met Barrett Brisden, but broke it off because they were

sick of having good blood for dinner every night. Heartless Master frequently points out that what they lack in heart, they make up in brain, also whips their naysayers with prickly vines. CC Luthu, the pizza priestess, fights alongside the post elemental in the name of all things Sausie and Carby. Paul B, keeper of the Trapper, keeper of infinite holding in which Paul can store and organize a truly infinite amount of magic the gathering cards. Barnes and Adur, the only person in Trinnyvale who drinks more than Blavin also dispatches elite

teams of three but to pick up snacks and mixers. Shane M, the jeweler who welded the belly chain the Pendergast is in intended for it to be a carnival favor. Yasmin, the Yasmineian Devil, acts like the Tasmanian Devil, but with the body of Yasmine Bleeth. Trigger happy, the gun Totten Creek, who copped train instead of dead eye, cops started trigger happy on water guns, but they got so good so fast they never graduated to real guns. Eric G, a Bacardi brand ambassador from Cincinnati who got sent to FHL to give out samples of coconut rum and is freaking the fuck out. Jackalope Audity, a taxidermy animal who got awakened by a druid still full of stuffing

though. Zach C. also has the Elven Accuracy Feet but uses it to dominate on Elven prices right. Aiden R. a free pixie who escaped the ravages of the troll wars only to dive dehydration in a port of potty line at feccella. Jeremy R. Lance Dagger, a fighter who actually uses neither Lance nor Dagger and actually prefers to fight bearnuckle. L.E.K. adjured he uses plant growth to make a bunch of flower crowns for feccella and sell them on Etsy.

Luke H. Luke can't Duke, Luke fights exclusively with kicks, which at first seems less efficient, but thinks about all the emails they're able to send off mid-Skirmish. Ritterin, a sentor who fucking hates it, when anyone asks to ride on their backs, stop asking chat, it's never gonna happen. I'm hopeless, Bohumi is most hypnotic, self-help guru, and before you ask, yes, they made a deal with Acorod for their demonic charisma. Timmy R. A fire genocid that's invited to all the parties this barbecue season, Alex Am, a martial class fighter

who is so good, everyone swears each kick and punch is a magical incantation. Amy I, the all hearing I, a wise sage, who has bunny ears that gives him super hearing, but whose last name just happens to be I. And finally, Cassandra MHP always has Max HP, because they took the I for an I feature, which restores one hit point for every hit point.

They lose. And that's it for this week. Guys, thank you guys so much for listening. Please sign on over to our Patreon and check out the short rest. Thank you to all of our listeners, and thank you to all of our Council of Elders and our patrons. We'll be back next week with another episode. Thanks guys!