Not Another D&D Podcast - Skaldova - Ep. 10: The Chalice of Malice

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

The Carnal Crew faces off against Bulrick! Long-buried truths come to light.Sound Mixing and Editing by Brian Murphy and Faris MonshiMusic / Sound Effects Include:"Blackthorn Hall" by Em...ily Axford"The Depths of the Dungeon" by Emily Axford"Secret Basement" by Emily Axford"Lilith Latrix" by Emily Axford"The Children" by Emily Axford"Shock at the Dock" by Emily Axford"The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford"Boggy Roger" by Emily Axford"The Baron’s Estate" by Emily Axford"Ender’s Waltz" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:35 Up to four players adventure across the magical and dangerous Sunderland. You can buy just one copy of the game and play it with three of your friends. As heroes of Arden, protect the town and its bright shard from the corruption of Shadowstone and defeat threats from the surrounding Sunderlands. Each player picks one of six classes, Arcanist, Bard, Berserker, Pyromancer, Ranger, or Rogue. Together players venture out into the Sunderlands and engage in turn-based tactical combat. Download Sunderfolk on PC, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X, Xbox Series S, and Nintendo Switch now. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to the Campaign After the Campaign.
Starting point is 00:01:24 This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Skaldova, everybody. Skaldova! Glorious. I am your dungeon master, Jake Hurwitz. You're with Brian Murphy. Getting whomped by bugs and slugs? Zudgerich of the murder.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Emily Axford. Accidentally squished William Shitt. No, you didn't! Emily, get the fuck out of here! You didn't do it, Murph did it. That was an attempted murder. That was an attempted murder. Accidentally let Murph squish William Shitt.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Intentionally attempted murder. It's called a Murph squish William's shits. Intentionally attempted murder. It's called a Murph-der, actually. And of course, we've got Caldwell Tanner. Oh, lobsters drink and fight and feast, Boggy Rogers, snake release! Oh, right. Snake release.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Yes, yes, yes. Everybody check out our merch store for the snake release hats. But before we sell too many of those, how about a little recap? Last time, our three twisted tourists cracked into the vault once belonging to Sir Hilda Garnet, now co-opted by Bulric the Banished.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Inside, you found a bunch of cash, a few healing potions, and some magical refuse that may or may not be past its expiration date. After a brief philosophical detour into the nature of money, you discovered that a stash of spell components made its way aboard a ship, the HMS Solstice, a few centuries ago. After that, you went from hitting one pipe to another as you cracked into the castle's plumbing and crawled your way down the walls.
Starting point is 00:03:04 You battled bugs and slugs as you tugged your bodies through the drains before finally mission impossibly yourself into the waterway below. Yeah, dude. A true final reckoning. There, you heard a rising chant signaling the beginning of the monk's ritual, and that is where we are now. Oh dear.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Okay, first things first. Right. Let's lather up these bowls. I take my lance. Well, he's deeply confused. And do the day glow on it? That's what it's called, right? Oh yes, the day break.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Day break. Yeah. Is there enough to pass it around? Is day glow something? Day glow is like that color from the 90s where everything was like bright. Cool. But I'm assuming that's what color this is.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I assume it is Dayglow color. Absolutely, yeah. It was my thought, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it glows Dayglow, alerting everyone to your position in the tunnel. Shit. Okay, sweet, so you coat your weapons with the Daybreak, you crack the vial that Sir Mathis Dyer gave to you,
Starting point is 00:04:00 and you see your weapons do emit a dull glow and they will be doing an extra D6 of radiant damage. Ooh! Oh my! Sir Mathis, we will reunite you with your love. This is quite a lube. Ha ha ha! Glowing lube, wow. Welly blushes.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Seems dangerous, honestly. Ha ha ha! Okay, and then I've actually got pretty fucked up by bugs and slugs. I wasn't, you know, just being cute with the rhyme. I was being real. What rhymes? Cedric glitz off into the middle distance.
Starting point is 00:04:36 I don't know. Do you sing little rhymes in your head sometimes? Cause I do that all the time. We're very kindred, I think. Yeah, that's actually just sonneteering. Okay. I guess you're a sonneteer as well. Wow. Cedric shrugs. Oh're very kindred, I think. I suppose so. Yeah, that's actually just sonatiering. Okay. I guess you're a sonatier as well. Wow.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Zedrick Shrugs. Oh yeah, I have a lute. I forgot about that. It's been a while since I've talked about this or thought about it at all. Please, next time you rhyme bugs and slugs, do it to the tune of a lute, friend. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and drink one of the five potions,
Starting point is 00:05:02 just to get up to full, if that's okay? By all means, quaff. All right, we're at five potions, just to get up to full, if that's okay. By all means, quaff. All right, we're at four potions now, and I am healthy. Maybe we should have a little whiskey as well. Yeah, be fun. Indeed, get a little temp going. I'm actually still buzzed from it. I think that would have faded away,
Starting point is 00:05:19 so you can take another swig of whiskey. Please gather around, I have some beautifully hewn you cups for us to drink from. You cups, that's so dangerous. Bacteria can just grow in there. Yes. We call that seasoning where I'm from. I got a one on my D4.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Ooh, me too. Damn. I think I'm not a whiskey guy. Yeah, it was just a little nip. Well, there's a rainbow of alcohols out there for you to enjoy, friend. I got a three. Ooh, all right. Well, he took a rainbow of alcohols out there for you to enjoy, friend. I got a three. Ooh, all right, well, he took a good mouth sniff.
Starting point is 00:05:46 All right, I guess we heard things coming from a grate. Let's go look through the grate. Yes, let's peer. Okay. I should put on these goggles for tactical reasons. Maybe you could mission impossible with one of your birds. I refuse to send them ahead into danger.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Could you put the goggles on? But you sent me ahead into danger? Yes. Okay. And you were very rough with William Schitts. That was not, come on. Can I reach into my pocket to check on William Schitts? He was already confirmed fine.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Give me a nature check. He was confirmed fine. Well, he, hands shaking, reaches into her pocket. It's an eight on a nature check. He always confirmed fine. Well, he hands shaking, reaches into her pocket. It's an eight on a nature check. If you wanna kill the frog, just kill the frog, okay? William Shits as you reach in is trembling with fear and he wraps his limbs around your body, almost shuddering away from Zudrick's general direction.
Starting point is 00:06:41 I don't trust him. I gather him close to my chest. Don't worry, I will protect you from the zoo Sweet Billy poops. You'll be okay. He doesn't angry ribbit ribbit Get it out of your system I call all of my birds to me. I'm just covered in them He dives back into Ellie's pocket. I don't work it out because spite sours the countenance. What?
Starting point is 00:07:10 William Schitt's ribbits confused. Ribbit? Okay, yeah, let's go ahead and look through the grate and just see what's happening down there. All right, so you guys trod forward through this knee-deep water and you go up towards the rusted grate, peering through the bars into a vast, disorienting cellar.
Starting point is 00:07:31 The coved stonework ceiling arches out in every direction, disappearing into darkness. A beacon of torchlight pulses to your left. A crowd of cloaked figures, dozens of monks, are gathered in a warped semicircle, their dusty red robes hunched like question marks as they lean over a pool of liquid dark as tar. Thick columns and flaming braziers obscure something massive looming beyond, something cloaked in shadow. Then you also see, perched above the center of the pool,
Starting point is 00:07:59 like an osprey's nest, a makeshift wooden platform. Two monks, secured with chains lashed to the ceiling, kneel over a woman in a linen tunic, Lila. Her hair is dark and matted, and she thrashes wildly at her captors, kicking one of the monks off the platform. His chain crackles and catches him with a metallic jerk. He swings back, wheezing, as the second monk dives
Starting point is 00:08:22 onto Lila's outstretched feet and binds her to the woodwork. As soon as we see Lila, I'm taking off. I'm getting in there. There's no strategy. We made a promise to Sir Mathis. I'm ripping off this grate. All right, very well. Yeah, let's go ahead. No, no, Willie. I think perhaps. We've made a promise to reunite two lovers. What could be more sacred? And I've wanted to kill all of these dudes for a while now. There's quite a lot of them though, and sometimes I think it's best to get the jump if we can. Okay then. Then I'll follow your lead, but do it now!
Starting point is 00:08:56 I'm ready. I'm like the Fox NFL robot going back and forth right now. Pacing next to the grave. Come on, I wanna murder her! Beating your helmet. Jesus Christ, remind me never to give these guys whiskey again. NFL robot Pacing next to the grave Eating your helmet Jesus Christ remind me never to give these guys whiskey again They're gonna hear the birds her brother betrayed her Tabitha smells blood she and sir Mathis are gonna get married and do aerial yoga together To be honest, I feel like math this should be here. I don't know if he's right for her. Okay, fine! I will be the one who's stepped up. You would stop falling in love with every woman we meet? Your ankles are showing right now, Zutrik. I am a woman of vice.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Baki, tell us what to do! Wait, wait, but first, we might die, okay? Yes. Going into this, really quick, we must know what happened to the last Buggies' bud, Crunchums. We have not discussed Crunchums. Oh, did I forget? Oh yes, sweet young Grandpa Crunchums, so named for he was the youngest of our crew. This is actually a story with a glimmer of hope, perhaps a silver lining, for Grunchums was simply flung from a catapult into the woods.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Oh, so he might still be alive. No, no, no, he might still be alive. Oh, how did he go? A friendly eagle may have taken them into their nest. Higher than the crow flies, I'll say. Perfect height for an eagle's nest. Well, well, you're right. Crunchums is gone, Wellie.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Oh, Ender, oh, Hiltz. He for sure died a slow, awful death. It was just high enough for him to break all his bones and let out the wind and eat. I know I am but a squeak in the symphony of the universe, but if you find it in your heart. There are no friendly eagles in the world. Crunchums in an eagles' nest.
Starting point is 00:10:46 I would swear forever off beautiful women's ankles. Baki, tell us what to do right now, or I'm gonna scream for Crunchums and shoulder to the crates. One moment, I beg, one moment, friends, I beg, for she, Crunchums, place into this plan, as it were. For Crunchums was a master of disguise and deception. He was a roguish lad, and we followed his lead
Starting point is 00:11:07 on many a stealthy mission. I think that there is a large grouping of monks here, and I think that they are all very, very anxious, very tenuously linked to Bulric. Perhaps if we could cause some sort of distraction or turn them against each other, it would make our task easier. Oh, we do have the robes.
Starting point is 00:11:27 All right, yeah, should we just? I'm gonna put on the robe. We'll put on the robe, we'll try to quietly open the grate and just kind of join the crew. I have a plan that could cause a bit of commotion that would allow you both to launch into the fray. Would you allow it?
Starting point is 00:11:41 I will. Sure, all right. Wellie's really distracted right now because she's trying to figure out if she can undo a prayer. Why does she think that she doesn't want to commit to what she just said? Cedric, can you undo a prayer? Unsend one? Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:11:58 I just wave my hand in front of her face. Prayer broken. Yes. Thank you. If you unsend it within the first 30 seconds or so, that's fine. Okay. Gmail rules.
Starting point is 00:12:07 All right, lead the way. All right, so I'm gonna put on my robe. Okay. And I'm going to kind of just slink forward. I'll make a stealth check if you want me to, but what I wanna do is I wanna take the rotting arm that I got from the chamber above. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:24 And I wanna slide it into the sleeve of my robe. And then I'm going to approach slowly. And then once I'm to the front, I want to start shouting. Okay. So I guess I'm going to have you, first of all, this grate is jagged, twisted. Parts of it are kind of like missing. So you're going to be able to slink around without breaking through.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Okay, awesome. But you'll need to stealth up to these monks to try to kind of like blend in with them. I'll use my ambush ability. All right, and then meanwhile, we'll put on our robes. Mine's a little tight, and then I've got a bunch of birds in it. Actually, Tabitha, Edgar, Sabrina, Salem,
Starting point is 00:12:59 you can all probably fly kind of close to the water. Not too close though, you don't wanna get splashed. You'll turn into a monster bird. Actually, I take it back. Don't get close to the water. Not too close though. You don't want to get splashed or turn into a monster bird. Actually, I take it back. Don't get anywhere near the water. Just kind of cling to the outside in the darkness. You care for them so much. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Perhaps this would be a good time for them to bond with William Shits. We could leave them behind to guard our escape. I do not trust William Shits. And William Shits does not trust you. Ribbit. I go to turn into Giants Might. And then I stifle it. No, really.
Starting point is 00:13:30 We'll all make good at the feast. I promise you. All right. I'll go ahead and roll my stealth. Okay. So you guys are donning these robes, Zedric stretching it out over his armor and his goggles. And Boggy, you're slinking through the grate.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Give me a stealth check. I'm gonna use my heroic inspiration to re-roll that. Shout out to the two crew. Maybe. 23. Okay, Boggy. So you slink forward approaching this gathering of monks. You're leaving Wellian Zudrick behind
Starting point is 00:14:01 until you create your distraction, is that right? Yes, I'm gonna try and get ahead of them. I want it to basically be like, there in the back, I've made my way up to the front, at the front of the ritual. And then I'm going to try and cause a commotion. A classic Bargy commotion. Okay, cool. So, as you approach, you round a hulking pillar,
Starting point is 00:14:19 and you see it. There, sprawled across the head of the cistern, like a beached leviathan, is the gargantuan body of a decomposing dragon. The old guardian of the keep, emblematic of the magic that once coursed through this world, long dead at its post, its neck draped across the cistern ledge,
Starting point is 00:14:40 head buried in the floor like a fallen statue. Its maw hangs open, its teeth still sharp like a jagged field of broadswords. Your breath catches, but you steady it as you approach the chanting monks writhing in mass and you make your way to the back of the crowd and you can keep on inching forward. And Willy and I haven't seen this so I'm just like we were going to kick these dude's asses there's only like 12 of them. I'm gonna ready an action to Giants Might or rather Might of the Gods.
Starting point is 00:15:10 The second crap goes down. Sorry, it's the whiskey. It makes me rude. Okay, sweet. So you guys have not seen this site yet. Boggy, your eyes have gone wide. You're taking all of this in. As you're looking at this huge, huge dead dragon,
Starting point is 00:15:28 the cool cavern air preserved it better than time should have allowed. You can still make out its scales like thousands of coal black shields, but rather than glimmer in the torchlight, they devour it. It's all shocking to take in. There will only be time to process it if you guys survive, but that time will have to wait
Starting point is 00:15:44 because now a figure steps up to the head of the cistern. Boggy, you watch as he lowers his hood. Bolrik. He speaks. And so it begins. The dawn of a new age. No longer will you kneel before an empty altar. No longer will you wait for a glory that won't return. For the old
Starting point is 00:16:07 stories, they're just old stories. A new god stands before you now." He looks over at the monks. Beg for my mercy. He lies! Look, the black lace, it poisons us. Look, it gives you no strength. It breaks your body apart. It eats you alive. Silence! At that moment, I stand in front of him and I rip the fake arm out and I throw it to the ground.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Okay, you toss the arm to the ground. The monks scurry away from it, startled, as Bullric looks at you and starts clapping. Clever show, clever show. I'm glad to have a non-believer here. You'll become a convert soon enough. Oh, friend. I'm not the show.
Starting point is 00:17:03 I'm just the opening act. And on that, I kind of do my best crow call. The crows rush through the tunnel and jump through. Oh yeah, we're in. So Boggy does this crow call. The crows swirl like a vortex and then dive out in a cyclone spinning around the cavern. Bull Rick watching them as they flap madly around.
Starting point is 00:17:26 And just as that's happening, Welly and Zudrik storm out of the grate. You round the band with your weapons drawn. And that's when you see this giant dragon laying dead at the cistern behind Bulric. Oh, is this the god he was talking about? I think this is the blood that they're gonna drink to turn into gods.
Starting point is 00:17:46 All right, kill them quick. Kill everyone quick. Yep, yep. Do we have like a surprise round or anything like that? Yes, I will let you guys roll with advantage because Boggy successfully stealthed up and surprised everybody. All right, I guess I'll use my launch ability
Starting point is 00:18:01 to get up to where Lila is and attempt to attack one of the two monks that are up there with her. Nice. Hell yeah. Okay, so as you guys charge out, a sudden clamor breaks out as the semicircle ripples into motion.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Some of the monks frozen, others rushing for their weapons, but everybody's turning their eyes towards you. Bolrik looks at Boggy, looks at the birds, looks at Wellie and Zudrik as you're charging, and he laughs and he says, "'Good, more bodies to bear witness "'to the end of your gods. "'Bleeder!'
Starting point is 00:18:34 He draws a dragon tooth dagger. Everybody roll initiative. Oh yeah. Woohoo! Okay. Nine. 11. 21.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Okay, so we are in initiative, but let's set the scene. You guys are staring at one, the gigantic body of a long dead dragon, its blood and bones having fused with the ancient freshwater cistern in 200 years of cave drip to create the corrupted Ikor known as Black Lace. Two, a swarm of monks once devout hermits,
Starting point is 00:19:02 now something else entirely, whose entire dream is to infect all of Skulldopa with the poison coursing through them. And three, their charismatic leader standing at the head of the pool below the missing adventurer you've been sent to rescue, who is about to be put to death. That is Boggy's turn.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Cool. Yeah, I think I'll see, I see Wellie about to make a move, and I say, Wellie, come forth from the corner, it's time to shine. I'm gonna call her up and use my initiative swap to let her act. Oh, nice, okay. Okay, if that's the case, I see Zudrik,
Starting point is 00:19:34 seems like he has Lila in a good spot. Yep, I'm getting ready to plant it like a pole vault. So I wanna jump in between that dragon's corpse and Bullric. Got it. Okay. And I just want to look up at him and say, this corpse is not yours to deface. It is unnatural what you wish to do.
Starting point is 00:19:52 The gods are far more powerful than you even realize. And the stories are real. And then I think I'll just try to sandwich myself between them. And then I think I'm'm gonna just do a regular attack on Bolrick. Okay, sick. He looks at you like he's an adult and you're a kid who just told him that Santa Claus is real.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Just a dismissive snort. Snort all you want after I'm done with you, you will believe in gods because you'll be fucking needing them. Oh, holy shit. Oh, holy shit. He snorts again, but like a little nervous. What? Oh, holy shit. She snorts again, but like a little nervous.
Starting point is 00:20:27 What? 15 to hit. 15 just hits. Oh yes, okay. I will shout, invoke, hilt rune. And then I'm going to do my extra fiery damage and he has to do a strength saving throw or be restrained for a minute.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Okay. Dirty 20 for his a minute. Okay. Dirty 20 for his strength save. Okay, that passes. His traps are like Bane size. He throws off his cloak and he's corded with muscle. Whoa. 25 damage, four of it is radiant.
Starting point is 00:20:56 That's so much fucking damage, it hurts him so much. And then I'm gonna action search. Oh my God. And I wanna try to push him into the pool. Yes! Awesome. He like flippantly dismisses the fiery shackles. Tricks of the gods, oh fuck!
Starting point is 00:21:13 You're no match for a shove. 19 athletics check to try to shove him. All right, he'll do opposed athletics. Oh my god, he got another dirty 20. Okay, I will. This is an ability check, so I will add my tactical mind. Nice.
Starting point is 00:21:30 So that becomes a 23. Amazing, you go to shove him, he plants his feet on the ground, resists your shove, and then the edge of the cistern wall crumbles away and his foot drops in and he falls back into the black lace. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:45 That's one bird we tripped successfully. Maybe that was the wrong move, but it seems like he was trying not to take it, so I want him to have a taste of his own medicine. This guy's gonna turn into some kind of monster, right? Let's face it. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's a monster already, a scholar,
Starting point is 00:21:59 and now he's going to be covered in black lace, who knows? Yeah, he's already a monster, you're right. He read books. Zundrick spits. Boggy, you created your distraction, you threw the hand, you called Wellie, you swapped places with an initiative with her. The monks look down at the rotting arm
Starting point is 00:22:19 and they look up at you, showing two hands in your robe, and they advance, surging toward you, surrounding you, attacking viciously without strategy or thought, arriving mass of diseased limbs with rusted weapons flying through the air, 18 to hit. Oof, does hit. All of their shitty weapons might not do a ton of damage if they were fighting you one-on-one,
Starting point is 00:22:42 but all of them at once hit you for eight damage. Ha ha, nice try, but I'm double cloaked. You look pretty hurt, Boggy. Are you okay? You see you're surrounded by people stabbing you with dirty knives. I meant to die this cloak red. That's stylish, I would say.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And that brings us to Bolrik's turn, who's just been knocked into the pool. He steadies himself, he stands up, he spits into the water, and he looks up at you, Wellie, and he says, you've come a long way. Now you've seen what I've seen. He points at the dragon. I've come a long way?
Starting point is 00:23:19 What does that mean? Do you know me? You came a long way into this cavern, didn't you? You followed it all the way to the bottom. Yeah. Now you've seen the beast. You know that magic isn't lost, it's dead. The scholars won't say that.
Starting point is 00:23:34 They whisper fairy tales that you believe. The Age of Stories was full of ugly details. Yeah, what were those ugly details? I'm not afraid of the truth. That dragon? Yeah. Its name was Cicada. The princess had many loves, but none like this beast. And who killed him?
Starting point is 00:23:53 It was the Hilt. They want you to believe our fighting made the gods turn away. But it was God that turned on us. The Hilt killed this beast. There will be no forgiveness from the gods, no return. The princess's hope was lost. Her order turned to dust, and she drowned in the Bay of Steel. The story's over.
Starting point is 00:24:17 So bear witness. This ritual will make me a god. But I'm already a king, a king with a knight in his service. As he growls that at you, he disengages and wades towards the bottom of the platform where Lyla is. You turn to see, stepping from the shadows by the dais where you shoved Bulric from, a figure emerges in full plate, helm lowered, drawing her sword. What?
Starting point is 00:24:46 Bolrich calls one more time. Sir Henrietta Holden. She's taken a new oath. You turn and take her in. Sir Holden. The knight betrayed by one of the children she had sworn to protect. Black lace dripping from her gauntlets, seeping from the seams in her armor, helm creaking as she approaches and lumbers towards you. And she is going to enter initiative, but it's not her turn yet.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Ender's bosom, how could you, man? And that is actually Lila's turn. She has been tied down, but she is not like exhausted or subdued. So she's gonna make a strength check to just try to break out of her ropes. She rolled a nine. So these monks, they learned the knots
Starting point is 00:25:29 that Boggy was gonna teach Wellie. That is Zudrick or Boggy. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and launch up to the platform to try to get up to Laila. Sick, okay. So give me a launch attack. Great, yeah, I'll just go after one of the monks up here, whichever one is obstructing her more,
Starting point is 00:25:50 if one is more than the other. 21 to hit. It definitely hits. You launch up and tackle the one that Lila had kicked off that had just made its way back onto the platform. I am the knight. I'm just wearing goggles. I'm in my full Zack Snyder Batman outfit,
Starting point is 00:26:10 covered in birds, and I come down onto him lance first. The only Batman story in Skeldova. Oh shit. Your goggles of the knight stare deep into his dark soul. 22 damage. You instantly spear him through. He is dead, absolutely decimated and gone. I'm gonna go ahead and use my action surge
Starting point is 00:26:32 and I will attack this next guy. That's a 19 to hit. Does hit. 17 damage to this one. Both of these monks on chains are now dead. Great. Yes. He is swinging limply lifelessly like a destroyed pinata from the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Okay, so I brutally murder these two dudes in front of Lila and then absolutely covered in blood. I turn to her and go, Lila, we're here to help. Are you sure? Are you sure? Yes, absolutely. He looks like my favorite theater play, Crowbro by Zack Snyder.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Okay. And then I'll, can I do like an object interaction or something to try to untie her? Yeah, sure. Give me a sleight of hand check. Okay, geez, I'm not great with knots. My greatest foe in Adam and Objects. Oh, natnat 20!
Starting point is 00:27:25 Yes! Oh my God! Hell yes. Is it a Higgledy Witch? This is the only knot I know, a Higgledy Witch! Then you just gotta pull on the loops and shimmy. As you kneel and start working on this knot, your thick gauntlets feels like you are just fumbling
Starting point is 00:27:41 with the knot, like you can't pull it around. And then you feel something start to shift, not around you, but in you. Your hands begin to buzz inside your gauntlets, like pressure building in a corked bottle. There is some remnant of ancient magic coming from this dragon, and now it's coming alive in the steel.
Starting point is 00:28:00 You are wearing the gauntlets of the goat. Whoa. For now, these gauntlets hold just one single charge, which you can unleash to summon a spectral ram's head on a target you can see within 60 feet of you. It has a plus seven to hit and deals 2d10 force damage and also shoves the target five feet. Hell yes.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Zedrick, how you doing up there? I give a thumbs up. Your thumb glows. Is there a ram coming out give a thumbs up. Your thumb glows. Is there a ram coming out of that thumbs up? Yes. I think a ram's head popped out and winked at me. I think these belong to Michael Jordan, the greatest jowster of all time.
Starting point is 00:28:34 The goat himself. The most precarious of all time. Incredible. Okay, that brings us to Boggy. What I'm going to do is I'm going to skip in front of the swarm and I'll say, I think that you would be best remaining where you are. I'm going to pull out my bag of Caltrops made by Dandio Candles, and I'm going to spread them across the floor.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Tell me what Caltrops do. As a utilize action, you can spread Caltrops from their bag to cover a five foot square area within five feet of yourself. A creature that enters this area for the first Time on a turn must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take one piercing damage and have its speed reduced to zero until the start of its next turn, okay? Takes 10 minutes to recover the Caltrops Okay, so you're gonna spend 10 minutes picking all of these up one by one after the battle if you survive That's part of that's part of being one of Boggy's buds,
Starting point is 00:29:25 you help with the caltrops. I didn't agree to that. Caltrops, more like paltrops, because you need a couple. That's a really good name. That's really good. So it sounds like they are gonna deal with that on their turn, right?
Starting point is 00:29:36 That's when the wolves are safe? Okay. Okay. And then I'm going to action surge. Hell yeah. I'm going to run up to the platform where Zudrik is, and then I'm gonna train an arrow on the platform where Zudrik is and then I'm going to train an arrow on Boleric and try and trip shot him. Okay. So you're scrambling up this platform that's raised above the water. Yes. Where there's two dead monks and Lila's
Starting point is 00:29:55 just been untied. Yes. And I want to say I'm like looking at Boleric watching him trying to get up out of this water and I want to just keep tripping him into it. Okay. All right. Sick. Okay. So I'm making an attack 26 to hit into it. Okay, all right, sick. Okay, so I'll make an attack. 26 to hit. Rad. Okay, so Boggy, standing up here on this platform, you knock an arrow and you draw your new bow back and snap. The string breaks. You glance up at the notch and just as you do,
Starting point is 00:30:17 a golden thread weaves itself from thin air, dripping down like honey from a spoon. The wood glows warm in your grip, and a twin arrow of light forms at your fingertips. This is an inspelled weapon, which I'm calling the Bow of Goodwill. A plus one magical bow with three charges. When you hit a creature with an attack,
Starting point is 00:30:38 you can expend one charge to send a healing bolt towards an ally within 30 feet, essentially casting cure wounds at a first level. So like a D8 plus your wisdom modifier. Ooh la la. Amazing. All right, so let me focus on the damage first. Right on.
Starting point is 00:30:54 All right, so this is gonna be a trip shot. Okay. Plus my D6 of Radiant. So everyone's just trying to trip Bolrik into the pool. Get tripped, dingus. 14 damage. Oh my good Lord. Your arrow pierces Bolrik right at his shoulder blade and he's going to try to make a save
Starting point is 00:31:10 to stop from tripping and he doesn't. That's only a 10. So he stumbles backwards and knocks back into the pool. Shit, fuck, ass. Show of your words, but not your feet, friend. You piece of shit. Not nearly as dexterous as a bird. Oh, I'm not a piece of shit, I'm sure of your words, but not your feet, friend. You piece of shit. Not nearly as dexterous as a bird. Oh, I'm not a piece of shit, I'm the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:31:28 I'm the whole commode, friend. Oh, and then is Lila hurt? Can I use my healing bolt on her? Yes, yes, Lila is hurt, so you can heal her. And then I fire an arrow directly at Lila. We're here to help. You said you were here to help. Open your mouth.
Starting point is 00:31:45 I don't know how this works. I think it's medicine. That's six points of healing. Amazing. Okay, so almost like sniffing salt. She goes, and she feels very replenished. She jumps up and she says, I want to kill my fucking brother.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Oh yeah, wait, can I do a perception to see where that fucker is? Sure, yeah. 15. 15, you see in that crowd of monks who was swinging at you, one pasty kid with eyes that have not gone black with dark lace, just looking up at the pool.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Fuck, oh shit. There he is, look at that piece of shit. They captured me too, they captured me too. You don't seem very captured. I'm so fucking captured, they made me wear this robe. You've got all your facilities about you, man. No, no, no, I'm really tired, he goes to a knee. Sit down, we're gonna kick your ass in a second.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Oh shit, don't tell my dad. And now that is Ser Holden's turn, striding towards you, Wellie. Ser Holden is going to make her attacks. Ser Holden, is the real you in there? Ser Holden doesn't say a word, she noiselessly swings at you with savage, errant blows. No nightly strategy, just like raining down
Starting point is 00:33:08 her greatsword on you. That's a 19 to hit and a 14 to hit. I am going to activate Lodestar and make the 19 that would hit me redirect it to Bullric. I think he's too far away now because he disengaged towards the back of the pool. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:33:26 So there's probably no one within five feet. Okay, there's nobody around to redirect the attack to. The Great Sword falls on you, pierces your armor for 11 damage. And that is Braxton's turn. He's been snuffed out by Boggy and he's gonna fire his short bow up at you and yell, they made me do this too!
Starting point is 00:33:47 Oh! 18 to hit. Fuck, 18 does hit. Okay. Boggy, you might have to shoot yourself with that arrow. Seven damage. Oh, so it's a bow off you want. No!
Starting point is 00:34:00 And then he's going to nimble escape, disengage and hide. Oh my God. Okay, that brings us up to the top of the order and Wellie squaring off with Sir Holden. So where is Bullric? Bullric's been pushed into the pool. Uh-huh, oh he's currently face down, right? Yes, he's been knocked by Boggy's arrow
Starting point is 00:34:19 and he's been tripped into the pool. I'm gonna run towards him taking the opportunity attack. Okay. To try to drag her over, taking the opportunity attack. Okay. Um, to try to drag her over to where he is. Love it. And I wanna attack him. Howdy, Nadpoles. Caldwell here with a big question.
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Starting point is 00:35:38 Slash pop-up that is netsuite.com. Slash pop-up to get your own KPI checklist. Netsuite.com slash pawpaw. Okay, that's it for me, friends. Thanks for listening and stay milky. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Raycon. Dads teach us a lot, how to fix things, how to be unwavering in the face of adversity,
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Starting point is 00:36:33 believe Raycon is there letting that multitasking madman listen to his favorite tunes while he does it. So, go to buyraycon.com slash pawpaw to get 15% off sitewide. Right now Raycon is offering up to 15% off sitewide when you go to buyraycon.com slash pawpaw. That's buyraycon.com slash pawpaw. Goodbye, sweeties. For her opportunity attack, that is a 19 to hit. Okay, that hits. That's 13 damage. Okay. And she does follow you into the pool.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Okay. And then I'm gonna attack Bulric, Sir Bulric. I mean, not Sir Bulric, just Bulric. Yes. Nice. Okay, that is exactly what I got last time, 15. 15 hits. 20 more damage. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:37:23 And four, that is radiant. Nice. As you hit him, he's like tried to rise out of the pool, but you strike him and he falls, and he looks at you with blood in his mouth. He says, why do you fight like there's hope? Hope died with that dragon and with its rider. Whether or not that dragon died,
Starting point is 00:37:41 whether or not the Princess Lenark died, whether or not the gods absconded, or perhaps something worse. There is something of them that still lingers here. Do you not see it in all these magical items? Do you not see it in the things that we do? Do you not see it in every root of every tree reminding you of the Ender? I think he's jealous because he wasn't chosen like you, Wellie. I wasn't chosen. I was the one who chose. I chose to still believe in them, and you could too, but you don't because you don't
Starting point is 00:38:09 believe in them because the idea of someone being more powerful than you is a threat to how you see yourself, you arrogant son of a fucking scholar! Oh, no! Yes! Damn, damn, my pal, Trollp! You're delusional! They think I'm crazy, but you're delusional! Yeah, no, I am crazy.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Look over there! Well, you turn and you see now from this vantage point, laying in a heap at the side of Cicada's neck, somebody you never met but you know right away. The brass helm with the molted red plume, breastplate caved in, but decorated with a twisted sunburst, and of course, you also see a missing ring finger, the body of Hilda Garnet. Now you see this 200-year-old corpse. You can see there was no ancient force guiding Bolrick's hand, no curse, no prophecy, no whisper from beyond, just a man stripped of faith and future, acting with the clarity of someone who believes the world is already ended. And you deal 20 damage to him?
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah. Your sword drives into his chest. He looks down into the pool. He hesitates. But then he looks up at you. He shrugs and he says, He shrugs and he says, huh, fuck it then. With his last breath, he chugs the chalice of black lace. Nothing left for him to do. Blood streaking his teeth. The chalice falls back into the pool as he gasps.
Starting point is 00:39:36 He exhales. He rises. He stands straight up. His eyes gleaming. He's almost invigorated and he snarls. Huh, now you see. the pool has chosen one, one who is stronger than the- Fuck. He doubles over, choking.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Steam rises from his pores, pulsing veins darken beneath his skin, and his flesh starts to soften, sagging like wax left in the the Sun. Finally he breaks. He screams in agony and fear. He shrieks and shrieks till his voice is gone warped into a wet gurgling sound. His body liquefies in front of you collapsing in on itself as bones sinew and blood melt into a sloshing gray mass. The chalice sinks under the black lace as a shapeless ooze quivers where Bulric once was, bubbling, twitching and grasping towards you. Bulric is now a black ooze.
Starting point is 00:40:36 His whole entire plan is fucked. He's dead, but something else remains. Okay, so since he did technically die, I get another attack with my bonus action because of heavy weapon master. Or great weapon master. Okay. So I will now use that to attack this ooze.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Cool. I'm gonna look at Sir Henrietta and just say, Sir Henrietta, the kids are in danger. Look at them. Lila, call out to Sir Henrietta. Lila hears you and she says, Sir Holden, Sir Holden, I need you. Do you hear that?
Starting point is 00:41:15 Kill. And then I am gonna direct Sir Henrietta toward the ooze and then take my own attack. Okay, sick. Swing at this ooze. 24 to hit. Yeah, it hits the sludge, not that hard. 19 damage, five of which is radiant.
Starting point is 00:41:34 19 damage. You stab into this ooze, it ripples and shakes. You can feel it pulsing beneath you. And that brings us to this mass of monks who are at the edge of the cistern with nobody to attack. So I think they're gonna try to scale this platform and get to you guys. They're gonna need to. Caltrops.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Don't forget the caltrops. Yeah. Don't forget the caltrops. Okay, they make Dex saves to not take damage. GC 15, I believe. Okay. Pretty high. God, DC 15, I believe. Okay. Pretty high. God, they rolled a dirty 20.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Oh! I was gonna say, this might be the first time ever something like that worked, and damn. No. DC 15 should be hard to beat for. Yeah. They really wanted it. These monks kind of like,
Starting point is 00:42:20 they shuffle their feet is the problem. They don't pick them up to step on anything. They just kind of shuffle zombie style. Yeah, they also might have decent decks. If I was gonna do a monk stat, I might give them decent decks. And they have shitty ranged weapons and chipped swords. So they're basically going to just scale this platform
Starting point is 00:42:38 World War Z style, but that's only an 11 to hit you, Boggy. Okay, that misses. Yes. Okay. How dare you dis-order the caltrops the dandy old candles made me. One of them kicks them aside. Oh! He spent many a night by the fire crafting those.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Okay, that is Bolwik's turn, but he is dead. He's now this pile of ooze. Well, you've stabbed into the ooze. It starts to crawl up your sword and tries to shoot out to attack you, but that's only a nine to hit. Yes! It doesn't.
Starting point is 00:43:07 The ooze harmlessly reaches towards you. Yes, I said no, it doesn't hit. What an oozer. What an oozer. You oozer, I kick it. No! And now that is Lila's turn. She does not have a weapon, but she turns to you.
Starting point is 00:43:22 I've got an extra, I got an extra one. Oh my god, awesome. You just like emotionlessly hand her an axe. She grabs it. It plummets into the woodwork because it's so heavy. Yeah, it's too heavy. Okay. She picks it up, feeling invigorated
Starting point is 00:43:38 from the HP that Boggy gave her and she's going to attack these scared ones. That's a nat one. Oh. Yeah. It's been a tough 24 hours for you, I understand. the HP that Boggy gave her and she's going to attack these scared ones, that's a nat one. Oh, yeah. It's all right. It's been a tough 24 hours for you, I understand. She raises it over her head, it falls backwards
Starting point is 00:43:51 and crashes into the wood platform. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's hard. Okay, and that is Zudrick's turn. All right, I see Sir Henrietta Holden is... Oh yeah, she's healthy. She's... oh boy. Yeah, she's very healthy. I haven't attacked her yet.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Wellie. I'm sort of trying a diplomatic route, but I've got one more hit before that route is shuttered. Okay. Alright, alright. I hate to say this, but if you tried flirting with her. She's not my type if you can believe it. I cannot. All right, I think Zudrick sees Sir Holden going towards Wellie and sees Welly not attacking Sir Holden.
Starting point is 00:44:48 And up until this point, Zudrik has been quick to violence, quick to a decision, quick to write people off and stuff. But you see, he looks down at Welly well he looks down at Boggy he grabs the bottom of his helm and He rips it off and you see on his skin all of these like stick and poke like sailor type tattoos and
Starting point is 00:45:23 stick and poke, like sailor type tattoos. And you can see from far away that they're all like on top of each other, like cover up after cover up after cover up. And you can even see like a symbol of the lodestar that has something else over it, a symbol of like the hilt, a symbol of the ender and all of these other like crowns and upside down crowns and crowns with slashes through them
Starting point is 00:45:44 and everything like that and Zudrick goes I used to give away my faith too easily And that made me Not want to give it away at all But I have faith in you welly ham damn Boggy rogers I will do this your way.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Um, and I'm going to reach down and try to take the daybreak off of my lance with my new gloves. And then I'm going to jump down between Wellie and Sir Henrietta, and I'm going to hold my hands out, and I'm pushing her back with the charge from the gauntlets. But I'd like to try to do it in a way that's more, like, kind of diplomatic. Like, I'm just trying to shove her back away from Wellie, and I put my hands out and I go,
Starting point is 00:46:47 Sir Holden, we are knights. We have our oaths. Like shaking her into her senses. Yes. Nice. Okay. This is fucking awesome. Zedric, you pull off your armor, revealing all of the ghosts of your past.
Starting point is 00:47:02 You jump off the platform, parting your legs, raising your fist, Michael Jordan emblem style. You land in the shallow cistern and fire this force from your gloves. It knocks into Henrietta Holden. Give me an attack roll. You can add a plus seven. I'll do, can I do a launch to give myself advantage?
Starting point is 00:47:28 Yeah. Okay. So I'll jump down with it. I do not know what happened with the gods, but there was a right and wrong side here today and you can choose what is right. 17? 17 just hits Sir Holden.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Yes! Oh! Yes, sir! She flies 20 feet backwards towards the back of the cistern, splashing into the black lace, submerging for a second. And then she rises slowly, exhaling, blowing the dark liquid out of her helm. She shakes it off. she looks up at you.
Starting point is 00:48:08 She raises her visor. You can see her face. It's gone. Her eyes are dark, soulless, but her chest heaves and she whispers, by the last light of the lodestar, before her final embrace. By all that was and all that may yet come,
Starting point is 00:48:30 she stands rising to her feet. I shall yield to none who would harm the blood of our house. My sword, my will, my all I give. She looks up at the platform. This is my oath. Let the fallen remember my steel served one name. The Lady Lyla. Where the fuck are you, Braxton?
Starting point is 00:48:55 He's there, there he is. Right there, right there. Everyone points at him, everybody that has a good vantage point that is, she gets a 16 to find him and she's going to fire a heavy crossbow directly at the column that he's hiding behind. She whips it from her armor and that's a 14 to hit Braxton. It definitely does. The arrow flies past this horde of undead monks and catches Braxton right in the neck. It does shit. It does 11 damage.
Starting point is 00:49:32 And you watch as Braxton goes to a knee and says, ah, fuck, oh, you took my nose. You're life for ours. What? I mean, all I did was take you up on it. And Braxton keels over dead. And with Henrietta's last action, it took all of her strength to overcome the Black Lace.
Starting point is 00:49:57 You see her go back to a knee and fall face down into the pool. So since that all happened at once, we resolved that, but that actually is Boggy's turn. Braxton and Ser Holden are both down. Bulric is a very hurt pile of ooze, and there is this massive scared monks who actually I don't know if they've taken any damage yet.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Is that possible? Hmm, okay. But they're leaderless, but still do want you dead. Yes, still fervent. I'm up here with Laila. I think Boggy, despite everything telling him not to, reaches into his treasure sack and pulls out the pewter rose of Mathias Dyer and slowly hands it to
Starting point is 00:50:46 Laila and says, someone is out there for you. Someone needs you to fight so that you can be reunited. Bolrik was right that the past is the past, but there are still stories. There are still chance to be warmed by the campfire. So please, let's end this. Laila looks at the rose and blushes, and she casts her eyes up to you. That looks really valuable, by the way. Why do you think he didn't come? I mean, you said it.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Yeah, I kind of had, I had the same question personally. Worth thinking about, have you met my friend Wellie? Probably a conversation for the Rose Garden, whoever you choose to go on a walk with. Anyway, after giving this token back to Lila, Boggy looks at the big horde of zombies that's climbing up, thinks back to the last day he saw his crew, breathes out and whispers under his breath, I made a promise to you all, I'll never run again. I'm sorry. This time it'll be different, I promise. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:51:54 And then Boggy draws both of his blades and launches himself into the fray of these zombies. Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and make an attack. 13, does that hit? Does hit these robed monks who are naked below. I'll get to make an offhand attack as well. Okay. That also hits. 21 points of damage. Oh my good Lord.
Starting point is 00:52:16 You decimate these monks with your sword diving down, keeping your promise not to run, but to stay and fight for what you believe in. You slash into all of these monks, spinning around, your sword glowing. You bring them down to one HP. There is a single shambling monk in front of you. And I'll roll a luck check to see if he stumbles back and trips on a caltrop.
Starting point is 00:52:42 That's a nine. Huzzah! He stumbles back, trips on a caltrop, and falls cracking his head on the side of the cistern. Yes! Dropped his ass! The caltrop worked. It's gonna take 10 minutes to clean it up, but it's...
Starting point is 00:53:03 That'll be no time for the Peltrops, am I right? Too true. And because my Scimitar has the Nick property, that second attack just counts as my action, so I can still use a bonus action. So I will go ahead and use a rally on Wellie, because I think she's maybe a little hurt. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:53:21 That's great. Eight points of temp HP. Thank you! you inspire me. The fight's not done, Wellie. We write a new story this day. Okay, so that is back around to Wellie. Wellie, you're facing off against this puddle of ooze that used to be bulric, and as you're standing here,
Starting point is 00:53:37 in your pocket, you can feel William Schitt's grinding feverishly against the amethyst. But wait, it's the wrong side. That's the twig in your other pocket that's thrumming. Oh, the twig that Sir Hilda Garnet didn't want me to use. I take it out and I inspect it. Use it? You look at it, the tiny etchings,
Starting point is 00:54:00 hundreds of intricate stars carved in the wood seem to shimmer. This is the twig of mayhem, a chaotic relic from the Age of Stories. This one channels magic not from the gods but from something wilder. It has three charges and you can use it to cast a spell. You just won't know which one. Oh my. I look down at the ooze and I look at the twig and I feel the call of the unknown,
Starting point is 00:54:28 but I am going to use my sword to attack the ooze. Hell yeah, the shine from the opal sun sword has not worn off just yet. That's a nat one. No! I was distracted by the twig. My heart's not in it. You look at the twig and the glimmering lights
Starting point is 00:54:50 distract you for a second. You turn to stab into the ooze, but it disperses and you miss. Zudrik, it's all you. I've got this twig that's kind of twinkling with stars and it's making me wonder about powers beyond the gods, which feels heretical, but enticing. Yes, also you're a bit too handsome without your helmet.
Starting point is 00:55:09 Please put it back on. Yeah, you have stunning features. Thank you. Like Hayden Christensen. I look away bashfully. As you gawk at Zudrik, the ooze swipes up at you. That's only a nine to hit. I ask the ooze sincerelyipes up at you. That's only a nine to hit. Yes. The shoes suck.
Starting point is 00:55:25 I ask the ooze sincerely, was it the twig? Did it distract you too? The ooze gurgles away, shamefully. And now that's Lila's turn. This ooze is actually very, very hurt. So she's gonna pick up the ax and try to hurl it at the ooze. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:42 That's a natural 14 to hit, and that gets the oozes a Yes. That's a natural 14 to hit, and that gets the oozes AC because it is eight. Yes, Lila, throwing a great axe. All of her might hurling this axe at what is left of her tormentor and does just enough damage. You see the axe plunge into the pool
Starting point is 00:56:03 and the ooze splashes away and Bulric the ooze, everybody has been vanquished. This cavern is clear. Oh, I guess I go over to Sir Holden and see if there's anything left of her. You can give me a medicine check. All right, I guess I'll try to give her a potion and see if that does anything. I assume she's probably beyond that, but I'll give her a potion.
Starting point is 00:56:37 And I got a 16. That's a great check. And you hold her, you pour a potion into her mouth and you watch as it just drips off the side of her lips and down into her helm. She is at rest. May I, humming the Ender's Waltz, go over to this dragon and sort of perform like a ceremonial be at peace sort of thing, even if it's just closing its eyelids or something like that, just to try to send this poor dragon off to whatever the next stage is rather than delaying its existence here to rot and fester and corrupt. Yeah. So you wade through the pool towards this dragon and the long dead body of Sir Hildegarnet
Starting point is 00:57:30 atop it. And you can give me a religion check with advantage since there's nothing happening around here now. I think I'm, I'll go over, a little scared, but also a little sad to see what they've become. But I just, I really want to send them off respectfully still. Okay, that's just a nine. I think that though I tried to put on a brave face
Starting point is 00:57:57 with Bullric, it's hard not to see what's become of the age of stories and not feel it as profoundly estranged from where we are today. So I think maybe my faith is a bit shaken. Yeah. Wellie, it is possible that much of what Boric said is true, but his conclusions are wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I do, I do. It's just a momentary feeling of how truly far it is. I wasn't jesting when I said you were chosen, and I do think you have chosen yourself.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Stories are something that cannot be buried, cannot die, and whether you like it or not, I think we've become part of a grand new one. Yeah, I suppose I still just feel sad to think that this dragon and Hilda Garnet were probably once beloved by the gods and whether or not the Hilt attacked the other gods it does seem that they were abandoned in some way look at the fate they've come to yes but it is a fate that all men share. All people. Yes. Whether blessed by the gods or not. Yes, perhaps it is irrelevant whether they were blessed by the gods, but we can remember
Starting point is 00:59:36 them. And you see Zudrik sort of bows his head more towards Sir Holden, who I think he feels a little bit more of a kinship with than anyone from the Age of Stories. But all of the crows join him in doing like a crow funeral when they like go around like a fallen friend or something like that. So all of the crows fill the cavern around the dragon,
Starting point is 01:00:04 around Sir Hilda, around sir Holden and we all sort of bow our heads Boggies going to Uncork the whiskey with his teeth pour everyone a cup and then pour a little bit over the dragon and sir Hilda as well All of Boggies buds return to the bog someday Indeed, you know what? Thank you for doing this here All Boggy's buds return to the bog someday. Indeed. You know what? Thank you for doing this. Here I was trying to do some sort of divine ritual, but actually these human rituals seem just as respectful. And so do the bird ones.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Oh yeah, that's a- I've considered that kind of a human ritual. I'm assuming you came up with that. You didn't? Did the crows just do it? Yeah, the crows just do it. Oh, okay. Okay. So, sorry. I feel like it takes a lot of cues from the crows. Let me take that again. I guess these human and crow rituals are actually just as respectful. Thank you. Tabitha appreciates that. Yeah, I do. And actually Salem is very sensitive, so he appreciates that as well.
Starting point is 01:00:59 I haven't noticed that yet. Yeah. Wow. Well, he's been upset with you. Really? Okay. Well, if we're getting it all out there, William Schitt he's been upset with you. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, if we're getting it all out there, William Schitts is really pissed at you. And this isn't helping soon, really.
Starting point is 01:01:11 He's pissed that you got squished. As you guys hang your heads and bicker quietly during the funeral, a sense of peace and calm falls over this cavern. Maybe well, you didn't get to make a connection far back into the age of stories, but coming together and mourning and remembering everybody's story, that's kind of the best you can do in these situations.
Starting point is 01:01:34 And you realize that maybe the age of stories isn't completely past. Maybe you are still telling it. And this story is not over quite yet either, because there's still the small matter of getting Lila out of the keep and bringing her home. And that's where we'll end our session. Lila, how are you with traps? Can you sign on this that you were rescued?
Starting point is 01:02:03 So you can listen to us talk about this more on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet. We've got some stuff to plug. We've got shows coming up for Dimension 20. We're going to be at the Hollywood Bowl on June 1st. We're going to be in Seattle on July 20th, and we're going to be in Las Vegas in November. Search Dimension 20 live to get tickets to those.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Anyone else have anything they'd like to plug? Oh yeah. And if you wanted to get hyped for the Hollywood Bowl show, we put out a stupid little trailer with an overly dramatic, spooky horror version of Welcome to the Jungle. Yes, it's not stupid, it rocks.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Emily wrote Welcome to the Jungle. Well, I mean, it's silly. What? Silly. That's awesome. Silly, so it's just something fun to get hyped with. Yeah, be on the lookout for that. Yeah. Sick.
Starting point is 01:02:47 I'll plug FLCL Reanimated. It's one of those projects where a bunch of animators get together and they redo an entire episode of anime. So every animator takes about five seconds, I think. So it's just this very fun kind of gallery of a bunch of different animation styles. That's cool. And it's for FLCL, which is one of my favorite shows.
Starting point is 01:03:03 So it's really cool. It's very fun to revisit. So yeah. And check out my sub stack, sub stack.com slash at Jake Hurwitz, Emily, did you start one yet? No, I need to. Another week goes by with a solo plug. Wow.
Starting point is 01:03:16 How many posts have you made, Jake? How far ahead are you? I haven't posted since I started it, but I'm going to post soon. All right. So it's anyone's game at this point. Emily, you could overtake him. And with that, you can follow us on social media that we're a Mirror Man.
Starting point is 01:03:28 At use, at stagefirstme, at Coldest Caldwell, at X-Files Emily, and at jkowitchesjake. And you can talk about the show online using hashtag and ad pod that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's the end of the nation. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord,
Starting point is 01:03:52 Later McSkater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T, AKA Balanar's Boy, Hoyd's Friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJM, Trayley the Cray, Christopher B, Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, Targot, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebukeur, the NBDM PhD,
Starting point is 01:04:19 Princess Yar, Jory S, Jack L, Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohemia, Mike H, Alka Smelter Plus, Great Value Gemma, Tyler F, Carbro Chapel Hill FPV, Cici Lulu, Old Cobbs Dunkle, Older Burn, Hercules Poirot, The Rabbit Folk Detective, Timmy R, Ryko, Jake's Jerk Jelly, hashtag CCC, Taylor B, Ohohohoh
Starting point is 01:04:48 Cass Strong Grinch Steven Shoutout to Buoy the Troll C Mike K. Nick W. William W. Big Bad Beard or the Mad Eric McD Ananarama Percival Fredrickstein von Musso Klosowski de Rolo III J. Dragonborn Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the Cock, Pithy Witch, Ben A, Dave H, Dustin S, Not That Nick, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfarr's Assistant, Issy F,
Starting point is 01:05:16 Big Bad John, DPC is Awesome, Sean, The Shade Tree Mechanic of Zelbaldar, Summer Rose, AKA Grand Tare, Mark the Dark Lord's Taint, Kat C., Misa of House N'Zunza, Ariel the Occasional Mermaid, Selena, AKA Valay Sea Raptor, B. Perky Always, Pat L., Laura H., Serve 16, Annie the Feywild Therapist,
Starting point is 01:05:41 Pierogi Frenzy, Connor S., Salil, Biocort 7, Amber Dextrous, Connor S, Sileel, Bioquart 7, Amber Dextrous, Bean Rat was innocent, Trub Hopdropper, Jack H, King of the Mole People under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament. Valen, Podge, the bitchin bunny bard, druidic Peyton, Carlin C, Noah the Bullywug Boy, hashtag honor the cock, James G, Everything Baggo, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out
Starting point is 01:06:09 with his pet badger Stripey, Reverend Shatterbones, Han, Eric B, Marcos, learns to balance druid, Frida M, Maggie, Holly the green laughing hyena, Cal misses the D5s with all her heart. Aaron B. Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Yes the whole thing. Yes every time. Cody C. McKenna Stout. Your friendly neighborhood yawn and yunkle Andrew and Sid. John Adams. We can be done with the presidential puns. Meg the mail carrier of Bohemia. James F. Austin S, Wayfarer, now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them, turn to page 42.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Keep them, turn to page 69. Oreo, Shane C, Barpo Goodbarrel, Bard Barian, Garrett G, aka One Big Curd, Charlie Brown's best friend, Renee the Monster Captain, Olivia the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the soap opera cleric who will be auditioning for Cali's acting troupe. Blue ash, FICO, Garrett the artificer, Valkyrie the Gert C brother, Anthony the raddest of
Starting point is 01:07:15 dudes, Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo, Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi loves the two crew, thank you Lexi, MJ, the BFG, Roger L, No Drog, the Pass of Fist, Barbarian, Jean-Luc, Leon K, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Joshua S, Alexander, Linz W, Skyler K, dude k the mischief of nadpods familiars pavu eskinar the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile kit and their cat tim m tiles l tr
Starting point is 01:07:59 mlg cheeto shell be kenna's first favorite sprite girl, thank you DM Herkritz for the Rompid Skull Dova, excited for the day we get to come back to it. Snailus, who's infecting Worcester from within, Der Siegende Nochen, Pawpaw Skydays, MeeMaw Skydays, Megan N, Kyson the Jester Jouster, Anthony B, Savannah H, Balnor's best friend Steve. Benjamin A., Gimli the Corgi,
Starting point is 01:08:26 Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend. Mikhail A., The Two Crew Blew Through, Jennery, Kelsey A., Ethan the Mailman, Maple the Shy Bookworm, Ashasaurus, Billy Batson, Tori the Tungsten Draguse, accidental sharer of recipes. Michael L.S. the Second, Carl B. Plumber of the realm, Dex Riddlewell, Hannah A. Ace Dregs,
Starting point is 01:08:48 High Lord of Critsburg, Darius D. The guy from that one thing, Vin Diagram, Catamilius the consumed, Clinton P., Cam the frog man, Dean, Jake W. says,
Starting point is 01:09:00 Hi mom, Tuesday Cross, the choose your own adventure writer, not the porn star, Steve L., Tyler McEm, Alex G., Zibba Dabackery, says, Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure writer, not the porn star, Steve L, Tyler McEm, Alex G, Zibba Da Bakery, Kaylee, Katarina C, Misty, the Crispy Kitty, really hates flame skulls, Greg W, who's Sader Bard whisker is basically a crick elf, Baruk Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur, working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide, Chupac Abrey, Bony is Dead,
Starting point is 01:09:27 Cone Pace, the Duke of Silk's missing son, The Waterworth, Nick, Amy, Agus Kunari, Ignition Class Pedalstorm, Nadia the Dice Druid, Charlemagne, Not the God, DJ Dramamine, Alrik von Zerovich, my favorite patron makes me say penis on my show, and finally Jessica with a G. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers and of course all of our benevolent council of elders. You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to our after show, The Short Rest. We'll see you all next time.

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