Not Another D&D Podcast - Skaldova - Ep. 11: The Collapse

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

The Carnal Crew races to escape the crumbling keep as the past comes crashing down.Sound Mixing and Editing by Brian Murphy and Faris MonshiMusic / Sound Effects Include:"Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford"The Children" by Emily Axford"Shadowfell" by Emily Axford"Grimhawke" by Emily Axford"Angels and Devils" by Emily Axford"Winter Sprite" by Emily Axford"Starspawn" by Emily Axford"Hexblood Centurion" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of NADD Pod is brought to you by Tales Unrolled. Tales Unrolled is a new Dungeons & Dragons series out now co-created by Luis Carrazo and Christian Navarro. Tales Unrolled Alma, the show's first campaign, takes place in a small, tropical town called Alma that's suddenly plagued by a mysterious curse. Four of the villagers must come together despite their differences to save their town and the people they love, or else risk falling victim to the curse. God damn that sounds like good D&D. Tales Unrolled is a dark fantasy mystery that explores themes like ancestry, sacrifice,

lineage and legacy. There is also a healthy dose of romance. And you might actually know the DM, Luis Carrazo, from his role as Xerxes on Critical Role's Exandria Unlimited Calamity. He is hopping behind the screen to weave a magical, novelistic story heavy with emotion. So if you're ready to delve into the world of Alma, then head to their YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Tuesday on the Tales Unrolled channel, or as a podcast with extra sound design on Spotify Apple or wherever you listen Again new episodes of Tales Unrolled Alma drop weekly on Tuesdays

So roll on down to Alma and check out this great new show. Alright, that's it from us. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Skaldova everybody. Skaldova, everybody. Scaldova. Thank you for that.

Extra long one because we're victorious. Yes, you are. Sing in victory. I am your dungeon master, Jay Kerwitz, here with Brian Murphy. God damn, he's got the gloves of the ram. Century of the murder. Oh, that would have been good

if it ended in welly ham damn. Oh yeah, too bad. Yeah, that's have been good if it ended in Welly Hamdam. Oh yeah, too bad. Yeah, that's not me there. Or Noah go crazy for gloves of the ram. Something like that. Shark dress man. Caldwell man. Oh yay, yeah dude, you got it.

You got it. Why didn't you acknowledge it? That is incredible. Emily Axford. No, I'm going Christopher. Welly Hamdam. You got it, come on. You just said it.

Yeah, and I was You got it, come on, you just said it. Yeah, and I was choking on laughter, okay? And of course we've got Caldwell Tanner, what's he gonna do? Now we have to, yeah. You know what you have to do. Yeah. You know I go crazy for Tim Tam Slam.

That's what Boggy likes to do after he wins. Tim Tam Slam? Tim Tam Slam. Yeah. Why are you acting like this is a thing, Emily? Tim Tam Slam is where you eat too many cookies. Yeah, you eat the cookies, you bite a little edge of the cookie, and then you bite another edge,

and then you put it into your drink, and you slurp it through, and it makes the cookie all soggy. Or it's like when you do that thing where you pile a ton of Pringles on top of each other, instead of eating them one by one, and then take a big bite, but you do that with cookies instead.

I feel like you could've done like Boggy Raj, man. You could have done like Sharp Bog, man. Tim Tam Slam. Tim Tam Slam. Well, now that Tim Tam Slams are settled and confirmed as fact, how about a little recap? Let's do it. That'd be good.

Last time, our three unusual fighters faced off against Bolrik and his shitty army of monks. During the battle, you learn some disturbing truths about the Age of Stories, namely that the Hilt turned on humanity and killed the princess's pet dragon. And it was this very dragon's rotting corpse that gave way to the corrupted water source, which became Black Lace.

From there, you defeated the bad guy, stopped the ritual, and rescued Laila. Sadly, her knight, Ser Holden, was killed, but happily, her brother Braxton, was as well. You took a moment to collect yourselves from the shock of seeing a 200-year-old dragon body and perhaps the even larger shock of seeing Zudrik's handsome tattooed face.

And that's where we are now. I put my helmet back on. So you guys are standing at the head of the ink black cistern. Cicada's tree trunk neck is arcing across the bricks behind you. The adrenaline is starting to wear off, your breath beginning to return. And Lila, standing silently, staring past the butchered bodies of the monks,

deep into the pool, she speaks to you without turning. I... I can't thank you enough. I can never repay you. And then she looks up at you, three of you caked in blood, only some of it your own. How did you find us? Who sent you? Oh, um, well you don't have to repay us because we are getting paid. Yes, yes, your father would be paying us handsomely. Your father did.

Of course. But... That's right. Yes, as the manner of finding you, well we, I suppose, you know, we followed a trail of information and good fortune. And hearing you guys name her father, her face falls and she remembers why she came. My mother, she's one of them now, or something worse. Please, help me get home. Yes, of course. May I ask what was your mother beset with

that your father was trying to cure her of? My mother was sick for as long as I can remember. Slowly dying for my entire life. And my father went to the ends of the earth tried to move mountains to make her live and eventually I believe he sold his soul and and gave her black laces as his last hope so what do you feel you'll be returning to I fear whatever is left of her. I fear for my father's safety. I fear for the safety of... She looks down. Of his knight, Sir Mathis. Yeah. Well, Sir Mathis did give us this.

I hold up our shimmering weapons. Sir Mathis, he was very concerned about you. And if anything, maybe the reason he isn't here is that he's trying to protect your father from your mother. Oh, yes. She kicks a brick. Nights in their oaths. But it's okay if he's in the dog house for now. Yes, but look not far away to Mathis Dyer if you wish for nights upholding their oaths.

Or you have our friend Wellie right here and she will guide you safely to your home. Yeah. I nudge them closer together. I whisper, I'm kind of actually rooting for her and Sir Mathis Dyer. Okay, but like- Is there a reason in particular? Well, here's the thing.

Yeah, explain it. I've already tried to take another night's woman once. And that hasn't sat right with me. Pete Okay, sure. All right. Well, I just think – Bethany Though I did entertain a moment of thrill when Lila yeeted that axe in which I saved her from a man unworthy of her, but I've stifled it. Adam Your respect is noble and admirable, but I will say that it's wise to try all the mushrooms

of the forest so that you know which ones are poisonous. Okay, I go to a knee and I kiss Lila's hand. That was so quick. I taste just a touch of her hand and I say, if this be poison, this poison be sweet. Let's also, we also have to get Faye out of here too. I hope that doesn't- Oh goodness. Before you do that, Welly, roll me a constitution save. 12.

All right. 12, okay. It's not enough for a carnal release. Your voice, you're so confident when you start speaking and then you go to a whisper, just tiny little flecks of spittle spraying onto Lila's ungloved hand. I whisper, I'm feeling my heartbeat

in places I don't normally. Okay. She pulls her hand back. Thank you, thank you for your service. Just narrowly past her jizz save. Great, yeah. Sir Welly was it? I'm not sure I know everyone's name.

Oh, Sir Welly Hamdam of the Okanawr. I gesture to Zudrik. Oh, um, this is Buggy Roger. Thank you, also me. So kind. Wait, I think I introduced Zudrik as Sir Welly. Oh, sorry, this is really confusing. You know what? You can just call at Sir Welly. Oh, sorry, this is really confusing. You know what?

You can just call us all Welly. Okay. We're Welly's Fellies. I'll call you all Sir Welly. Fair enough. Yeah, we're Welly's Fellies, Boggies, Buds, or the Zoo Crew. Yeah, you can call us any one of those things.

Whichever you prefer. Yeah. I was inching away from you guys. I agree that's too complicated. They call us the zoo crew because of me. They call us Boggy's buds because of him. I went to Boggy. And Welly's Fellies is totally new.

That just came right off the top of this beautiful dome. Yes, I'm feeling a little giddy after a recent victory. So now that we're all not confused, let's try to figure out this situation. How do we make Black Glaze stop? I'm going to walk over to the dragon and try to have him, I guess, not dip it into the water. Tell him to stop. Not be poisoned. Tell him to knock it off. Can we remove the body or perhaps, I hate to even suggest it, especially in this cramped

space, but burn it? Give it a funeral pyre of sorts. Aliza Before we do that, I take out the twig. Ben Oh, oh. Aliza This is from a wildness that precedes the gods. So we could just see. Ben We could just let them decide, I suppose. Ben Yes, I will see from behind that barrel 20 yards away. I'm going to go straight up into the dragon's face and I guess I'm going to take my hand that I usually lift a sword with and lift this twig instead and then just kind of do my best impression of a sorcerer and flick my wrist to try to cast a spell from the twig of mayhem.

You need to say spell release. Snake release. So Wellie goes for it. You go from holding Lila's hand to standing up from the knee, striding towards this giant dragon body, dipping into your pocket. You pull out this braided twig,

still kind of thrumming with this magic and it actually shakes more intensely as you get closer. You raise it over your head and you shout, snake release as Lila winces. The ancient words spoken true. Roll me a D100. 19. With a 19, you arc this wand, you shout,

snake release, not really sure what to expect, and then crackling from this wand, you cast the spell, Gust of Wind. A line of strong wind, 60 feet long, 10 feet wide, blasts from you in a direction that you choose for the spell's duration. I think I go do it at the dragon. I'm like, ah, and then I turn around blasting it in everyone's direction. So not sure how to control it. You start spinning around like a loose fire hose.

Oh, a snake made of wind. Don't drop them in the water, it'll be even worse! Ah ha! Zedrick and Boggy and Lila are all gonna give strength saves or be pushed 15 feet. I failed. So Lila saves with a 12. What did Boggy get? 13.

13. Oh, I actually also got a 13. But I do, you guys do all get a beautiful blowout. Oh yeah. Yeah. This hair looks incredible. You got the twigs out of my beard. I was saving those.

The wind blows Zudrick's helm up again. You see just a flash of tattoos before he slams it shut. Jesus would have been anti-climactic if this is how it happens. I'm glad this is only the second time you're seeing me. I put my helmet back on. Yeah, it just flies fully off and thuds on the ground and I have to go pick it up.

So, well, you kind of now understand why Sir Hildegarnet may have left this behind. It's magic, but it's just unstable. She never knew what spell it was gonna cast. It's the wand of wonder. Every time you cast a spell, we'll roll a D100 and see what happens. Amazing.

It's still ignited my imagination though, to think that there is magic that preceded the gods. Well, perhaps we can, someone can study it and figure out a way to extract magic from it or something like that. Yes. Or perhaps you could learn to control it. Yeah, I think I don't want to give it to anyone else right now. No.

Okay. Okay. This is the way right now. Okay, okay, yeah. This is the way you said that, kinda weird, but. I know Stan in the corner clutching my wand. Okay, yeah. My mom, I'm just worried about. Right, yeah. Yes, right, right, yes. They didn't say anything about when we needed to bring you back.

We're allowed to mess around in the sewer down here for a little while if we'd like, all right, Lyla? Okay. Lyla, you know. I'm not rushing you. You're kind of being a bit much. Yeah. No. As your brother, we weren't expecting him to be evil.

I don't know if we get like a rating when we're done. Yeah, neither was I. But like maybe just cool it a little bit, Zudia. Yeah. Oh, we don't know if we're getting rated. Lyla sits on a crumbled pillar. Lyla, before we begin heading up, there was a request from one of the monks

who actually helped us find you. She's got a gorgeous smile and she wants to eat. Another mushroom. She wants to eat your brother. She, wait, what? I don't know that she wanted to, I think she meant like she wanted to kill him so bad she could like devour him.

That might've been the lace talking. Yeah. Oh. But who knows? I mean, I personally don't care if she eats him, do you? I suppose at the end of the day, I mean, it's the same to me as leaving him here. Is your father gonna wanna see this guy? I'm gonna bag him up for a funeral or something.

Yeah, should we bag him up? Should we bag him up? Oh. Wait, if we're being raided, and we show up without all of the bodies? Yeah, oh yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Put that in what I like to call a boggy bag. Okay. We could. That was good. Sorry, sorry, Lolli, could we take a moment to appreciate Boggy's joke? Yeah, put that in what I like to call a boggy bag. Okay. We could- That was good. Sorry. Sorry, Lola, can we take a moment to appreciate Boggy's joke? Yeah. I just thought it was good.

I think the joke is really good for the rating. Sorry, I thought it was really funny. Yeah, whereas a doggy bag would be, this is a boggy bag. Because his name's Boggy, you don't know his name's Boggy. But that's why we were called Boggy's blood. Can I say how many layers there is to that? Cause I thought it was a play on body bag. That is so funny.

Thank you, thank you. That's also where I was. These guys should do standup. I mean, honestly. A two pronged pun. Oh, we have many a talent show in the bog. I'm the least funny one here. No.

And if it is true, it's just because you're really attractive and attractive people don't have to try this hard. And if it is true, it's just because you're really attractive, and attractive people don't have to try this hard. That's true, true. OK, well, you know what? Let's go in and put your brother in a boggy bag. I stifle a laugh. Lila forces a polite laugh at you guys.

Yes, very good. It works on so many levels. And then I'll be more respectful to Sir Holden and kind of just carry her out the regular way, not in a bag. Got it, just like fireman style over your shoulder. Just over a shoulder, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, there's also a boar loose upstairs. I don't know if you've seen him. Oh yes, the boar, not just any boar, this is a boar prince now, I believe. They've got the run of the place I might be the king yeah I think he is yeah boars head indeed that was pretty good thanks yeah those are like head of the castle but you know might have to turn the ham you're too hard on yourself friend how do you get away with being hot and funny? Yeah, you know.

How do you do it? That's why I wear the helmet. I mean, it's not why I wear the helmet, but you know. We don't know if the Daft Punk guys are hot. We just know that they're cool robots that make music. We don't know, we can only assume they are. All right, Lila. Yeah.

You're babbling, let's get going. Yeah. Sorry, right. Yeah, let's get going. I didn't mean to hold anyone up. I will take a shaving of this blackened scale. I hate to say it, but I do feel like I must contact Lady Linnebeth and her new lover,

the scholar Sir Ransford Swank. Sir Ransford Swank? Yes. Such an evil name. He is. As despicable as he is, Swank. Sir Ransford Swank? Such an evil name. Who is? As despicable as he is, Swank. He does have connections within the Scholars Guild, and I think that if we are to put an end to this black lace, perhaps their insidious love could lead to some sort of breakthrough. May I ask, many scholars specialize. What does Sir Ransford Swank specialize in? He's more of like a permanent grad student.

He just kind of dilly dallys. Oh, he jumps around from one to the other. But you know, he's got a lot of teams and a lot of money to place into various research pools and think tanks. Where are they? Lady Linabeth and her lover. Why, they're in Goodport, which was neighboring to the Boglands where I hailed from before. Interesting.

Alright, well, let's get up to the Boar Prince, aka the Boar King. Yes. Okay. Oh, also to Faye. Let's stop at Faye. Yes, indeed. Yeah, but as we walk, let's think about what we're going to want for our feast. You know what we could do with Faye? Because she's fighting off the Black Lace, we could drop her off with Darwin Wednesday.

And then if we find any sort of cure for Black Lace... Yeah, and we can also see, you know, I mean, she might just kill Darwin Wednesday. I don't know Darwin Wednesday that well. But Darwin might readily take on that risk. Yeah, we'll bring it up to Darwin. They could have like a Demon Slayer thing going on. The monk that you speak of, Faye, she had short hair and a chip on her tooth. Yes, yeah.

Was she kind to you? She argued for me. She tried to stop them when they chained me up. I want to show my gratitude as well. And I'm not rushing you guys. We can leave whenever you want. Well, we're going to need you to stop babbling if we are going to leave. Yes, of course. We're going to leave just really quick. We're leaving right now, except we do need to pick up the caltrops. I'm so sorry, but we do need to pick up the caltrops. I'm so sorry, but we do need to pick up the caltrops.

What is that, 10 minutes? 10 minutes minimum, honestly. What is the caltrop? Two if we all work together. What is the caltrop save? Because as I try to pick them up, I might accidentally step on some. DC 15.

It was DC 15. You should be fine, the zombies were able to get over it. Okay, I got it, I got it, 16. Okay. All right, so you guys- I failed that one. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, there are a lot of caltrops.

You have to do- It's every five seconds, right? I say you first pick every caltrop, you pick up. Okay. For every one you pick up, one, two. Okay, since Wellie fell- I fell over that time. Okay.

Fell over again. Since Wellie keeps falling, let's just be really careful and take 20 minutes to pick him up. I think that's smart. Yeah. I think that's really wise. Lila takes a nap on the edge of the cistern.

God, hot, smart, funny. You have a total package all wrapped up in some armor. Come on, no. All right, all right, we got the caltrops. Been a solid 20. Let's get going up to Faye. All right, so you guys have packed up the bodies, packed up the caltrops.

Lila is woken from her nap. And you remember, the spill pipes are impossible to ascend. You won't be able to go back up that way because they're too narrow and slick. Oh, the earthen passage. The main corridor has been caved in. It's the earthen passage that remains. All right.

There was like secretions like rubbed on the wall here. Oh, there was some sort of beast. Well, like, I suppose we'll find out. We really have no other way of... Do you want me to use my twig again? Just shoot it wildly down this hall? Yeah, sure. Knock yourself out.

Jake, can we say that we took a short rest, by the way? Yeah, I mean, you guys definitely have. I have a question. Does the twigs charges recharge at dawn or is it a one-time thing? It has three charges total and they recharge at dawn, but as you get further from this wild magic of the dragon body, it's going to lose its charges

until you're around some other magic source sometime in the future. You'll almost be able to use it as like a magic detector, a magic beacon. Okay, I'm aware that this proximity to power is making me a monster. Yeah. But I'm gonna use it again.

And I'm gonna just flick my wrist. Whip it down the tunnel. And shout snake release again. Down the tunnel. 68. All right, so you guys pick your way across rubble in this cavernvern casting your torches into dead ends, shallow cavities that house only jagged bits of stone until finally you

cast your light into a passage that doesn't bounce it back. This is the last exit and Welly, as you find this final exit, you approach it wand in hand, shaking with a magic charge and you shout, snake release, into the darkness. And looking ahead, you don't see anything happen, but suddenly the passage seems to get larger and larger and larger. And everyone else, as you're watching, you see Wellie get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. Oh, Wellie. What? What's going on? Have I been physically humbled?

Oh no! Oh no! What happened to William Shits? Is he even smaller? I reached into my pocket! An enormous bullfrog-seeming creature talks out. Wait, William Shits, I can ride you. Okay, well that's fun. All right, that's just silver lining. That's just good clean fun. That's just good clean fun.

You hop on William Shits and you guys hop down this cavern. As you guys get further and further from the dragon corpse, the magic fades, Wellie, and you begin to grow. And as you guys get further and further from the dragon corpse, the magic fades welly and you begin to grow. And as you reach your full size again, a warm wind brushes your cheek, carrying the scent of something harsh. Zudrik and Boggy, you guys are at the cave opening.

You pause, one final look back. The monks lie broken across the stone, two hanging limp from chains above the cistern. Whatever was left of Bulric has been swallowed by the pool along with his iron chalice. You stare into the hollow eyes of the great dragon Cicada and the fallen body of Sir Hilda Garnet. The cave continues to drip into the pool.

Drip, drip. Then a deep creek, agrown from the deep. The ink-colored water trembles as dust begins to fall and loose sheets from the vaulted ceiling above. The ritual, the battle, the remnants of all this wild magic has taken its toll. The foundation of the place is cracking. The dawn hold won't hold for much longer.

There is a ticking clock as you guys make your way into the cave. I suggest we pick up no more caltrops and make haste. Okay. Let's make haste. Yeah, let's run out and we'll try to grab Faye real quick. Yeah. If we can.

Quickly, quickly. I'll just start shouting for her. Faye! Faye! So you guys are scrambling over slick rocks, squeezing your way under a low craggy roof, twisting through the tunnel. Loose gravel crunches underfoot and then so does something else. You look down and you find scattered across the passage

are mangled bones and fragments of cracked carapaces, some as long as your forearm. Lila shudders, oh! You keep on climbing steadily, rounding a bend, and you find yourselves in a lofty ragged cavern. Stellactites and stalagmites encroach on you from every direction, like the jaw of a great beast closing around you.

And here, an unsettling feeling comes over you, creeping at the edge of your awareness. You're not alone in here. The uneven ceiling is high overhead. You look up as a faint cuts through the air. Squinting into the darkness, you sidestep an oblong blob just as it grazes past, smacking into the cave floor with a wet thud.

Then another. Whatever it is, it's writhing at your feet. A thick pudgy little thing like an overripe fruit. Its skin is thin, almost translucent. Its single eye trained on you as its rasping maw opens and closes weakly, revealing a set of razor sharp teeth. This one missed, but above you, something moves.

A tendril crackles through the cavern, a towering stalagmite shakes and then turns, opening a gaping mouth like a portal to hell. Everyone roll initiative. Oh! Okay. 15 for Wellie. All right. 18.

21 for Boggy. Boggy, you're first with a 21. I think I will do a roll backwards and grunt loudly as I do it. And then while I'm taking a knee, I will aim an arrow up at this wiggling stalactite. Okay, sweet, fire away. All right, arrow release.

That is a 22 to hit. 22 hits. 14 damage. All right, at initiative 20, that is these pudgy little things falling from the ceiling. I'm gonna roll to see who they target. With a two, that is Wellie. Wellie, this oblong mucus covered slug-like thing

with teeth hurtles out of the darkness. Give me a dexterity saving throw to try to avoid it. Okay. Gross. Nasty. 12. 12, you sidestep it and this thing splats on a rock in a spray of guts and teeth.

That is Zudrik's turn. Okay, Zudrik shrugs. We don't need to kill this thing. Looks around at like the boulders falling down. I think the cave will do that for us. Endurance it is. Okay, I guess I'm just going to, I'll kind of hold my turn and wait for other people to go.

But I think I'm gonna shout, let's run past this thing. Let's get the fuck out of here. Okay. And you know what, I will send my birds ahead. Tabitha, Salem, Sabrina, Edgar, warn Faith that we're on our way and have her meet us down the tunnel. Very smart. That's great. Yes.

Ah! Thank you, Salem. Lila ducks and covers her head as they storm past her and up through the cavern. I would have loved to have claimed one of these tentacles. It would have been nice to have a big sticky arm Lyla ducks and covers her head as they storm past her and up through the cavern. I would have loved to have claimed one of these tentacles. It would have been nice to have a big sticky arm I could launch at things.

Well, maybe you'll have the chance. Yes. A trophy. So Zudrik's gonna hold his turn to do a mad dash. Wellie, that's your turn. Okay, I'm gonna turn to Lyla and say, I totally respect your relationship with Sir Mathis, but may I? And then I'm gonna gesture to like carry her. Wow. Nice. and say, I totally respect your relationship with Sir Mathis, but may I?

And then I'm gonna gesture to like carry her. Wow. Nice. She doesn't hesitate. She leaps into your arms, arms around your neck, legs draped over your other arm. And then I'm gonna run. I'm gonna get, how far can I get if I take a dash action? It will get you out of reach if you can get past it.

Yeah, so I'm gonna try to do that and I wanna try to angle it so that if this thing, when this thing attacks us, that the opportunity attack comes at me and not at Laila. Nice. Okay. Wellie, as you bound across the cavern floor, it reaches out, sending a tendril with a 25 to hit. Okay, I am going to say activate Lodestar Rune

and I'm going to redirect that attack to one of the ceiling creatures. Nice. There you go. Fucking great, okay. She's saving her embrace for another friend. This tendril whips at you, it's whipping straight towards Lila's face,

but you bob and duck and direct this tendril up to the ceiling where it just pops one of these little larva mucus things, like a pimple. Oh. And you make your way to the cave opening. where it just pops one of these little larva mucus things, like a pimple. Oh! And you make your way to the cave opening. Okay, I turn back and I shout, everyone, come here! All right, yeah. Okay, Wellie is 60 feet, she's out of reach.

Wow, she did a Tom Cruise run, high knees. And then does that use its reaction, like its opportunity attack? Could other people run past it now until its initiative? Oh! Unless it has a special ability that gives it extra reactions, like its opportunity attack? Could other people run past it now until its initiative? Oh. Unless it has a special ability that gives it extra reactions, that is how that would work.

It does not have any special abilities. So its reaction has been used. So yeah, Zudrik, maybe now's the time. I will run, I'll do my dash, and I will run across the room and get through the tunnel. Well dashed. Holy shit. So as this thing is distracted by hitting off one of its little babies from the ceiling,

Zudrik sprints across. That is its turn. Zudrik and Wellie are out of reach. Boggy, you are the only one left in this cave. So it's gonna reach out and try to grab you. That is a 15 to hit. Misses. Yeah. Oh, fuck. to reach out and try to grab you. That is a 15 to hit. Misses.

Yes! Oh, fuck. But it will have, now it has its reaction back. Yeah. It does have its reaction back. Yes, all right, great. So it's got its reaction back, and now that is Boggy's turn.

Very good. I see my friends running ahead. I am going to follow in pursuit. I say, take flight wellies, fellies! And I run very, I do like kind of like a waddily run after them and just to show off a little bit, I kick one of the gooey things as I'm going.

You kick a piece of goo like a soccer ball. Fuck you. It's going to make an opportunity attack. This giant tendril shoots out to try to grab you, but it only gets a 10 to hit. So you guys have all evaded the Roper Monster, which was insanely tough, but you got past it. I'll say I took a dash action

so that I'm right up where they are as well. Okay. This episode of NADD pod is brought to you by NordVPN. I travel a lot for work. I always use it, especially when I'm on public wifi. The NordVPN threat protection feature protects you from viruses, malicious malware and phishing sites.

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Our link will also give you four extra months on the two-year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. That's nordvpn.com slash naddpod. The link is in the episode description. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Mint Mobile. Summer is just around the corner and the folks at Mint Mobile have a hot take. Getting a summer bod is out and getting your savings bod is in. This spring and summer, we want skimpy wireless bills and healthy wallets.

And with premium wireless plans for just 15 bucks a month, you can have both without breaking a sweat or the bank. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. So this year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com slash pawpaw. That's mintmobile.com slash p-a-w-p-a-w. Upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only

then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Goodbye, sweeties. Awesome. So you guys have all evaded this cave beast as the cave continues to rumble and shake. You're feeling your way across these streaked

and uneven walls until you see the pulsing torchlight ahead. This is the open elevator shaft. If you remember, the earthen passage ran alongside the dungeon floor. Backward all over again. Retracing your steps, you find yourselves back in that lower corridor, prison to the infected monstrosities,

snarling testily behind the rusted iron bars, but you know where you're going. You crawl across the sprung guillotine, sidestep the corpse of the monk altimist in the laboratory. And there, once again, is the open door to the barracks. I haven't put Lila down yet. Ah!

Ah! Ooh, now I get to carry someone. Hey! I call to the birds. The birds emerge from that room, flapping almost somberly. They start bouncing along the corridor floor, I call to the birds. The birds emerge from that room, flapping almost somberly. They start bouncing along the corridor floor

and Wellie, Lila taps you on the shoulder and says, I, you can put me down if you want. Sorry, I'm really trying to have feelings for you. What? What? Sorry, what? What? I put her down in blush.

She looks at you for a long time after you put her down. Whoa. Okay, she's really cute and all, but the crows are pretty somber, which is bad. Oh no. I guess let's run in and see. I guess we'll run in real quick. What's happening?

Okay, you guys run in. You don't hear any sound, but you see the same sights, dilapidated trunks, sunken beds. Ahead, you see Faye's small frame resting on her mattress, lying still. Faye, it's time to go. Faye. Rise and shine.

As you say that, a breath, shallow, faint, but alive. Sausoa Saulnu, while I breathe, I hope you remember the words carved on the castle. Faye is too weak to speak, but as you approach, she raises her arms. Like Laila, she'll need to be carried. Not today, Inda. Not today. Hope, hope. All right, you've got Holden.

Yep. You've got... Oh, no, Laila actually can walk. That was just sort of a momentary, I'll take the hit for both of us. It wasn't her turn yet, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it, yeah. Action economy and whatnot. Lila takes like half a step forward towards you,

but then sees what's going on, stops herself, and she backs into Boggy's arms. As Faye gets into Welly's. Yeah, I think I'll very gently roll her into my arms and I'll whisper, sell, sell, sell new to her and let's go. Yeah, let's get out of here. Okay. All right. You guys each have a body.

Holden, Faye and Lila. Another sonorous creak rolls through the chamber. The walls begin to groan. In the center of the room, a pillar splits with a thunderous crack. The ceiling behind it tumbles down and a spray of rocks explode from the wall. Everybody give me deck saves to avoid being pelted.

Oh boy. Also, just so you guys know, you guys get a plus one to your saving throws because of the Opal Sun Sword. Got it. Sick. I just got an 11. Okay. I look at the Opal Sun Sword.

Wow, magic really is real as a rock hits me directly in the face. I got an 18. Great, 21. Cool, you guys raise your forearms, bracing against the Shower of Stones. Zudrik, as you look into the Opal Sun Sword, mesmerize for a second.

A single rock pierces you right between the eyes No! for three damage. Ow! Should we have a race, friends? Yes! Ah, bonky back rides, let's go! I feel like I'm sort of carrying a knight.

She's pretty strong, and yeah, this is kind of unfair. Zundrick, you resettle Sir Holden on your shoulder. Yes, wearing a full plate mail. Hang on tight, Lila, we're winning. And Faye is unsettlingly light. So here you are in the Shaking Chamber. You've rescued the girl you came for and another you didn't expect,

but the Ender is beckoning for the dawn hold now. A thunderous crash from down the hall, a plume of stone dust surges past the door. It's time to go. And here's how this is gonna work. This is a skill challenge. You guys need to amass nine successes before six failures. If you can do that,

you will be able to escape before the castle crumbles. And rather than roll for initiative, you can choose what order you act in. You can use any skill as long as you describe how and why. You can't repeat skills and you can't double them up in a given round. The DC for every check is going to be 13.

You know what? I'll kick it off. Keep it super simple. I've got a plus six to athletics. I'm just going to run ahead and just kick through some boulder shoulder, essentially a path and just ram through walls ahead. Hell yeah.

All right. So as you thunder forward, the floor is splitting below you. Zedrick, you watch as entire bunks crash into the ground and disappear into blackness below The first thing you're trying to do is shoulder your way through all of these obstacles. Give me an athletics check. Okay 17. Woo amazing. All right, that is one success Okay So then after Zudrick does that I'm gonna shout to throw me a rope and then I wanna slide of hand to make a little zip line

for everyone to cross this chasm. Nice. Awesome. Okay. So Zudrik, you bound across, you chuck Wellie a rope and Wellie, having studied knots with Boggy, whip your hands around dexterously and you get...

Ooh. That's a 21. Hell yeah, that's two successes. The Kissing Nuns. hands around dexterously and you get... Ooh. That's a 21. Hell yeah, that's two successes. The Kissing Nuns, beautiful knot. Okay, Boggy, that leaves you. Boggy is really good at running away. He's done it a lot of times.

So I think Boggy is going to use perception to try and find the best route through this passageway. He's gonna eyeball where all the threats are and look for the safest route through. Okay, sick. So Zudrick, you shoulder your way across, throw a rope to Wellie. Wellie, you tie on and you bring you and Faye across.

And Boggy, the path is getting narrower and narrower, but you're going to use Perception to try to see if you can weave yourself through. I'll use my coward sites to find the safest path. Let me roll that, Perception. I roll that with advantage because of my rod. All right. Nice dude. Nice rod. Nice rod.

Dirty 20. Woo. Okay. Sensual 20. Another success, you guys are three for three. As you duck into the corridor, just as the barracks crash below you in a roar of splintered stone. Here in this hall, you see thick roots slithering along the floor like constrictor snakes.

The tree above the catacombs is reclaiming the castle, choking it in a final embrace. The roots aren't malicious, but they don't care about you either. How are you getting through this next pass? Okay. I will go ahead and use animal handling to send the crows ahead to peck at the roots

and hope that we can kind of jostle ourselves through. That's great, okay. The crows flap forward, pecking at the roots, and the roots kind of seize up and draw back, clearing a path. Let's see that animal handling check. Beaks are sharp. Plus three.

Nat 20. Woo! Fuck yeah! All right. Four successes, incredible. You guys are five from glory. All right, that is Wellie. Okay, are the roots still a threat?

Yeah, they drew back to create a path for Zudrik, but they are still kind of going through the stone and tearing it up. Then I'm gonna hold up my twig and say, careful little guys or you'll turn into this. To the roots and I wanna do an intimidation. Ooh. That is a 19.

Woo! Amazing. These roots slithering past as you raise up the braided twig and say that, they almost pause for a second to try to understand what's going on, giving you just enough space to dart through the corridor as they continue.

After she does that, Boggy takes off his cloaks and his boots, bundles them up, hurls them across the room, and then as he takes all this off, you see that he's just wearing kind of like a big long piece of spandex, and he's going to try to Simone Biles just do several backflips.

Whoa! This is gonna be an acrobatics check. So you run through this passage, kicking off the roots and basically misty flipping through the air while holding Lila, who is screaming. Why didn't you just run forward? So holding Lila. It's like a trapeze, but we're on the ground.

Everyone else just walked. That's going to be a 16. A 16, another success. You guys have gotten six successes here. Okay, you're past the roots. And as you're pushing one another forward, a split in the wall sends a jet of freezing groundwater into the hall, hammering you like a battering ram.

The corridor lurches and you're shoved sideways in chest-deep water. The doorway ahead falls, leaving just a small gap still open. The water is rushing in. Zudrick, you're first. Okay. Welp, I'm running out of things that I'm good at,

so I'll have to just do things that I'm okay at. I carefully examine the scene and try to use insight to figure out a way out. You see me stroking my chin as I start to drown. Where did you get that magnifying glass? Water coming up to your helm. Indubitably. He does have a pipe.

Okay, as the water rises, you ice in your veins, stroke your helm, try to get some insight. What is the ability that you use a short rest for to do a D10? Tactical mind. Tactical mind. Okay, I'm gonna use tactical mind because right now I have a 12, so with Tactical Mind, I only get a one, but that meets the DC.

But that can't, yeah. 13, it is 13. I use all of my brain power to think of something that's not just like, shouldering my way through this problem. Zujik, it's not the moment. Hold on, my dear Willy. This is a perplexing situation indeed. Well said, Zerloc.

As you think, try to get any insight on the stone. A jet of water actually propels you through the gap and you make it through. That is Wily's turn. Okay, I actually want to use my ring. Oh, the ring of swimming. Just for fun, yeah. So I'm gonna run up the wall

and then dive into this water and try to swim. And now I could do athletics, but just for fun, I wanna do performance. I wanna do like a beautiful corkscrew dive. Amazing. I think I wanna go for a butterfly, even though there is a temptation to go for breaststroke. I got a 10.

I'm going to tactical mind. Oh my goodness. Wellie jumps, kicks up off the wall. You swan dive into the water. I got a 10 on my tactical mind. That becomes a dirty 20. Oh, salacious. Okay, so I think I start with the butterfly, but I'm like, I gotta be true to who I am, and then I breaststroke.

You start doing the butterfly, but the force of the current is pushing you back, and you say, you know what? I have to do my strongest stroke, and you breaststroke through the gap, bringing Faye to relative safety, and that is just Boggy and Lila left. You have eight successes.

You just need one more to get yourselves past this. I look at this water piling up. I can feel the chill emanating off of it. And I turn to Lila. I pull out my bottle of whiskey, offer us each a swig and say, sometimes the best way through is in. It's time for the annual polar bear plunge.

We love this. Great. So you take a swill of whiskey, you pass it to Laila. She downs a gulp and then you brace yourself and jump into the cold plunge. Give me a survival check. All right. That's going to be an 11,

but I'm going to use a tactical mind. Two on my tactical mind dice, which is 13 exactly. Wow. We all had to use our tactical mind this round because we're getting fatigued. Yes. We're getting down to our bad stuff. Yes, you are.

Please don't look. My nipples are showing through my spandex. Do not look. I've never known you to be shy. They're just oddly shaped. They look like acorns. Wow. Oh, I'm really curious,

but I actually really respect modesty, so I don't even look. Boggy, after that reveal, you jump into this cold plunge and you're sucked through the gap and spit out into the hall. The water cascades down the fissures below. You emerge, all of you coughing, soaked to the bone, staggering across this churning earth.

You've amassed nine successes and zero failures. Yeah! Hey, that's that fighter tactical mind. You've passed the skill challenge, but chaos is still unfolding around you. It's just a wall of noise. Your vision is blurred by cascading debris, tremors in the earth that rattled your teeth.

But you look up and you see the night sky. You realize enough of the castle has fallen away now to give you a path out. The way is up. Everybody give me athletic checks to get yourselves out of this castle. Okay. Here we go.

Oh yes. 22. 23. 10. Let me do one more tactical mine, I've got one left. Okay. Okay. That's a 12.

Wellie and Zudrick, in all of this chaos, you guys are pulling on tree roots, in all of this chaos, you guys are pulling on tree roots, you're pulling on rock. You're flying up this cavern wall as the stone rips at your hands. You guys are making your way to the top and you see Boggy begin to fall behind. He cannot keep up with the earth tumbling away.

Boggy, give me a strength save to avoid falling down, okay? I add one to this. That's an eight. No, no, no, no! Okay. Wait, where's the island, Boggy? Wellie, Zudrick, with these bodies draped around your neck, you climb and climb,

your fingers finally digging into the grass, cool and real. You pull yourselves up, lurching forward on hands and knees, the ground still shaking underfoot, the roots of this massive tree plunging and twisting into the earth, churning it and closing the path below you. You turn towards each other, locking eyes. You two survived, but you look around. Where is Lila? and where is Boggy Roger. Boggy? Boggy, Boggy, how far up did we climb?

You climbed about 25 feet up. Okay, I'm going to, based on where we climbed up from, I'm gonna assume he fell from there and I'm gonna drop the Opal Sun Sword down because there's a Misty Step on there. Oh my God. Wow. That's so fucking smart.

Wow. I'm gonna drop it down and say, Boggy, catch and really hope that it goes, that it falls hilt first. Amazing. Catch what? Oh. Okay, so first of all, Boggy, as you tumble down,

you take seven damage and so does Laila. She is on death's door. Okay, so if Wellie's move is to throw the swords down to Boggy, I think I'm going to look at Sir Holden's body and say, Sir Holden, I know you would have wanted this. And I let go of Sir Holden and let Sir Holden's body and say, Sir Holden, I know you would have wanted this. And I let go of Sir Holden and let Sir Holden fall into the darkness as the castle is crumbling to reach my lance down to try to grab Laila.

She's falling with Boggy. Oh, amazing. Just because Misty Step's only gonna be able to grab one of them. So I'm gonna try to essentially, maybe I can even do like essentially like a launch attack to try to like lance through like a part of her armor or something to like catch her on it. Okay.

Yeah. Zudrik you look into the helm of Ser Holden knowing that she would yet again sacrifice her life, her remains for Lila's life. Wellie you drop the Opal Sun Sword into the darkness, hoping against hope that Boggy is down there to catch it. So, so was so new, right, Faye? And Boggy, you tumble headlong through this cavern, hitting the ground hard as loose stones

and curtains of dirt continue to rain all around you. You're bruised, broken. You see Lila's crumpled body laying next to you as the roots close in above. The last light of the stars just about to be erased and then, hurtling out of the darkness, a glimmer of hope. The opal sun sword glints, wheels, and plummets past the vines and stabs into the earth. I think Boggy for a moment gives into despair and says, back in the muck again Rogers, maybe this is just where you belong.

And as he says that, this sword lands dangerously close to his toes. I look up at Zudra Kenwelly, peering out over the ledge. I see the industry outlined against the stars. And I grin and say, but what's a little more muck to a man of the ball? I'm coming, lads. And I'm going to grab the sword and try and Misty step.

OK, so you rush forward, grabbing the sword out of the earth. You have Lila on your shoulder. And as you run towards the wall, Boggy, you give her a shoulder up, you give her a shoulder to stand on and Zutter, you can make an attack with your lance. That's not actually going to hit her, but just kind of connect with her grip. To her armor.

All right, I'll try to scoop her up. Sure, hold it, I'll take it from here. Unless you get a nat one, seems like it would hit them. Nat 20. Whoa! Oh, yes! Damn, I'm a little good today. Hell yes.

Zudrik, you've been feeling yourself ever since we found out that you look like Hayden Christensen. Stop. Wow, funny, hot, reliable. What does this guy not have? So Boggy, just like earlier in your adventure, you find yourself at the bottom of a pit, but above you, Zudrik and Welly haven't given you up for dead.

They've hurled a legendary sword after you and crit on an attack to help rescue Lyla. And with their help, Lyla grips onto Zudrik's lance, is pulled to safety, and Boggy, you grip the Opal Sun Sword, close your eyes, and with a flash of light, you find yourself laying on your back, on the grass next to your companions, all of you chests heaving, staring up through the twisting branches of the towering oak tree. Above you, the stars glitter clear and cold. There's a fresh dew on the night grass, a crispness in the air, and all around you the forest hums

with a familiar rhythmic buzz. Cicadas. I've been waiting to see the stars since everything we found out. Oh, oh, I just collapsed back and just uncovered in crows and just hide there heaving. Is anyone else getting a second wind

from seeing the stars now that we know that they contain more than we realize? Faye, wake up, wake up, look at the stars. I do like to see the stars. Winking at me. In this case, it's good to have friends. You say this to Faye and you see her head just kind of lol over and her eyes rolling

in the back of her head, short, shallow breaths. She is fading before you guys. Okay, okay, keep it together. We're gonna get you to safety and then we're gonna figure out a cure for you, okay? That's right. We'll get you to Darwin Wednesday and we'll take it from there.

Keep breathing. Can we give her a potion or something? Yeah. Will that help? Yeah, you guys can give her like a potion or do a medicine check. Just try to stabilize her and give her a potion or something? Yeah. Will that help? Yeah, you guys can give her like a potion or do a medicine check. Just try to stabilize her and give her more time. Oh, I'd love to do a medicine check. Okay.

I mean, I don't even have good medicine. I just have a plus one, but I just want to. Yeah, I think I'll lay her down and sort of like, you know, fix her hair and get her all looking like herself and not like what the black lace wants to turn her into. And I wanna sort of lay my hands on her. And I think instead I wanna picture, I'm like so fascinated by the power beyond the gods,

the wild power beyond the gods. So instead of thinking of the gods, I'm gonna think of the stars and what made them gods to begin with. Okay. 18. 18. With an 18, you hold Faye's head,

which is disturbingly light. Her frame is so small right now, but you lay her gently in the grass. And Faye has been deep below this keep for a long time. The cool night air brushing against her cheek, your hand just gently fluffing her hair, making her feel at ease. She looks a little less tormented and a little more restful.

And like she's just breathing a bit easier. She's putting her trust in you. She can't do this herself, but she knows that you can do it for her. And as you make this check, the wind blows through the leaves on the tree and you see a constellation above, glimmer with a sign of hope.

What's the constellation? Do I know it? You guys give me nature checks. 10. 18. 10. 18. 15. Does anyone know that constellation? With an 18.

Zudrik, out in the faraway fjords where the stars shine brighter than anywhere else in the realm. You know the names of all these constellations because sometimes you need to be guided home from a hunt or when you've spent years in one fruitless war and you have to make your way to another. This constellation is called the Voyager,

akin to the North Star. This is the Voyager, shows us the way north. Like the Lodestar. Perhaps the star that the lodestar himself followed. And as you guys look at this constellation, Welly on your braided twig, you see a glimmer that matches it. And then the three of you remember the map that you made a copy of below, the map in the Knight's Armory, with this very same constellation,

the Voyager, out beyond the land of Skaldova. the map in the Knight's Armory with this very same constellation, the Voyager out beyond the land of Skaldova. I clutch my not so broken compass. I think you might've been right, Boggy, about writing news stories. I say with a little bit of craziness in my eyes. Your eyes are so white. Let's voyage on to Darwin's place, I say.

Okay. You guys pick up your wounded as the roots of this tree close over the dawn hold and all that you've left below, a final grave for the worthy and not so worthy alike. The cistern and its dark poison is finally destroyed and here under the shining Voyager, surrounded by the song of the cicadas, you begin your trek through the forest

toward Darwin's house. And that's where we'll end our session. Okay. Oh man, I thought Boggy was done for. I can't believe you remember the Misty Step. That was so real. I mean, I was sitting on that Misty Step because I couldn't wait to see it in action

and there wasn't a moment that I needed it. Good for you. That was so real. I mean, I've been sitting on that Misty stuff because I couldn't wait to see it in action and there wasn't a moment that I needed it. Good for you. That was perfect. Wow, wow. Really good stuff. We'll talk more about this over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod, that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D, don't sing yet.

Don't do it. And then we've got some things to plug. We've got Dimension 20th, the Hollywood Bowl on June 1st, be on the lookout for that. Yes, dude. We also are gonna be in Seattle on July 20th and we're gonna be in Vegas in November. So check those out, search Dimension 20 live

and get your tickets now. Hell yeah. And check out my sub stack. Does Emily have one yet or is it just me? I know. I have to join yours. I'm gonna join yours and see what you're doing with the medium.

Oh shit, then you'll never get on. All of Jake's posts are about how Emily doesn't have one. Just trolling Axford. I'm trolling Axford over at substack.com slash at jkurwitz. I wanna give a plug to my friend Casey's book. She just came out with a book. It's called A Physical Education, How I Escaped Diet Culture and Gained the Power of Lifting.

It's about how she basically got swole. And it's just a book about lifting and getting your mind right and everything and it's great. Cool. Very cool. Check that out. What's the name of the book again? A Physical Education by Casey Johnston.

Now available in bookstores and online. Go Casey. Check that out. And you can follow us on social media there, where we run out of use, at C's First Me, at Caldwell, at AX4Zemmile,

and at Jake Hurts as Jake, and you can talk about the show online using hashtag NADDPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation.

We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show, and you know what that means? It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, later Mick Skater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor D. Balnor's boy,

Hoyd's friend, Justin I. Danny Danster, TJM, Trelae the Crayfey, Christopher B., Damiel R., Jordan L., cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, Targot, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebukeur the NBDM PhD, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebuke-er the N-B-D-M-P-H-D. Princess Yar, Jory S., Jack L., Nicholas C., star of every film ever made in Bohemia. Mike H., Elka Schmelzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Tyler F., Carboro Chapel Hill FPV,

Sissy Lulu, Old Cobbs Dunkle, Older Burn, Tyler F. Carboro Chapel Hill FPV. Cici Lulu. Old Cobbs Dunkle Older Burn. AQ Prajon, The Rabbit Folk Detective. Timmy R. Rayco, Jakes Jerk Jelly. Hashtag Cici. Hoo, you just keep, you just keep putting poison in our mouths.

Taylor B. Oh ho ho, oh-ho-ho. Cass Strong. Grinch. Steven, shout out to Bowie the Troll. C. Mike K. Nick W.

William W. Big Bad Beardle the Mod. Eric McD. Ananarama. Percival Frederick Stein von Muselklausowski, Dyrulla the Third, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock, Pithy Witch, oh I like that,

Ben A, Dave H, Dustin S, Not That Nick, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfart's assistant Izzy F, Big Bad John, DPC is awesome. Shown the shade tree mechanic of Zobeldar. Summer rose grand tear. Mark the Dark Lord's taint. Cat C. Mesa of House in Zunza. Ariel the occasional mermaid.

Selena and Valesiraptor. Bee, Perky, always. Pat L. Lauren H. Serve 16. Annie, the Feywild therapist. Perogie Frenzy. Connor S.

Salil. Biocort 7. Amber Dextrous. Bean Rat was innocent. Trub Hopup Dropper. Jack H, King of the Mole People under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through. A bracket style tournament.

Valen, Paj, the bitchin' bunny bard. Druidic Peyton, Carlin C, Noah the Bullywug Boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G, Everything Bagel, the eladrin Carlin C. Noah the Bullywug Boy, hashtag honor the cuck. James G. Everything Bago, the eladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey. Reverend Chatterbones.

Han. Eric B. Marcos learns the balance druid. Frieda M. Maggie. Holly the green laughing hyena. Cal misses the D5s with all her heart. Erin B.

Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Cody C. Lorelai the succubi and Kira the succulent snack. McKenna S. Your friendly neighborhood yont and yonkle Andrew and Sid. John Adams. We can be done with presidential puns. Meg, the mail carrier of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfair now has to do something with the trolls.

Get rid of them. Turn to page 42. Keep them. Turn to page 69. Oreo. Shane C. Barpo. Good Barrel, Barbarian. Garrett G, One Big Curd. Turley Brown's best friend. Well, that sounds like Murph. Renee, the Monster Captain. Olivia, the Enchanting Bard, and Jared, the Soulbubber Cleric

who will be auditioning for Kali's acting troupe. You're in. Blue Ash, Fico, Garrett the artificer, Valkyrie the Gert C. Brother, Anthony the raddest of dudes, Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian,

Lexi loves the two crew. MJ the BFG. Roger L. NoDrogge the pass a fist barbarian. Jean-Lucca. Leon Camore, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign. Shenanigans O'Connor.

Mios the Great. Joshua S. Alexander. Linz W. Sky the Wise, AKA the Lone Dungeon Master. Johnny Dude K. The Mischief of Nadpods Familiars. Pabu Eskenar, the Goliath Paladin

providing service with a smile. Kit and their cat, hello to your cat. Tim M. Tiles L. T-R-M-L-G Cheeto Shall be Kenna's first favorite sprite girl Thank you, DM Her crits for a beautifully poetic romp in Skull Dova By Anders Light, we shall return Jet S.

Snailus, who's infecting or sh-sh-sh-sh-sure From within A bone flute literally tells a story when played. Pawpaw Sky Days, Mee-Maw Sky Days, Megan N., K-Son, The Jester, Jowster, Anthony B., Savannah H., Balnor's best friend, Steve, Stephanie of House in Zoonza, Benjamin A., Gimli the Corgi,

Paw Paw and Foster's canine friend, Michael A, Josh H, pilot of the Nightmare Verse flight. The two crew blew through. Jennery, Kelsey A, Ethan the mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Ashesaurus, Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes, Michael Lyle, S the Second, Carl B Plumber of the Realm, Dex Rittlewell, Hannah

A, Ace Drex, High Lord of Critsburg, Vindiagram, Catamilius the Consumed, Clinton P, Cam the Frogman, Dean, Jake W, Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, Boo, Steve L, Tyler M, Alex G, Ziba the Bakery, Kaylee, Katerina C, Mystery the Crispy Kitty Really Hates Flameskulls. Greg W. There's so many of us now, but hey, you're doing great and we love you.

Thank you, we love you too. Baruke Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Chewbacca Aubrey, Boney is dead. Cohen Pace, the Duke of Silks missing son. The Waterworth, Nick, Amy. Aegis Canary, ignition class petal storm. Nadia the Dice Druid, a distant relative

of both Welly and Moonshine. It turns out it all comes back to the crick. Charlemagne, not the god. DJ Dramamine, Alrek Von Zarovik. My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show. As if I wasn't already saying it. And finally, Jessica with a G. Thank you all so much for your support.

We love you. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Goodbye, sweeties.