Not Another D&D Podcast - Skaldova - Ep. 3: The Dancing River

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

The Zu Crew continues their trek! Welly's faith is tested, Boggy makes a new friend, and Zudrick debates the merits of hobbies.Sound Mixing and Editing by Brian Murphy and Faris MonshiMusic / Sound Effects Include:"Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford"The Blade and the Smith" by Emily Axford"Irondeep" by Emily Axford"Shadowfell" by Emily Axford"Secret Basement" by Emily Axford"Triss Chase" by Emily Axford"The Smithy’s Hut" by Emily Axford"The Scrappers" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reese special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Skaldova, everybody.

Skaldova! I'm your dungeon master, Jay Kirwitz, here with Brian Murphy. Bandit, Harmer, who sleeps in armor. Zudrick of the murder. Indeed. Emily Axford. Lady Love Scorner in the Carnal Corner. Oh.

It's Welly Hamdam. I forgot about the Carnal Corner. You've been in there a long time, Welly. And of course we've got Caldwell Tanner. Arthropods, fish barons, scholars, oh my! But Boggy Rogers here, so never you cry. Ha ha! Everything's going to be fine, I guess. I thought you were gonna say that you'll never die, which kind of goes against your whole

like, cruise thing. Oh no, we all die, friend. Yes, yes, yes. I would argue he has the mark of immortality on him. He has sidestepped the Ender in her beautiful thigh. For now, but that is only, that is the dance that you do with the Ender. It is many sidesteps in this tango. Don't talk to us from the carnal corner, really. I'm unconscious.

Before we get into it, what do you guys say to a little recap? Slap me with that recap. I say, yay! Sure! All right. Fucking fine, dude. Last time, our three awkward champions traversed the valley of the Whispered Oath.

You reflected on the non-sexual beauty of nature before eviscerating some bandits, falling down a sinkhole, and wrestling a giant bug. Boggy found a rod of alertness, and later you found yourselves chucking axes at a knight named Ser Dire. The knight, in service to the Duke of Silk, told you that his lord's wife had been corrupted

by Black Lace, and the missing adventurers that you seek are his two children and their guard. He revealed his feelings for the Duke's daughter before giving you a glowing liquid called Daybreak. Zudrik offered him a half-hearted apology, and Welly named two different horses Genevier. And that's where we are now. Welly's also unconscious. I passed out because of the erotic tale of the walk in the garden. I guess let's tuck Wellie into her sleep sack.

Oh yes, put her in this little trench I've dug for her. Yes, cover her in moss. We bury Wellie alive. I seem dead because you basically just roll me in, but my cheeks are still so blushed that you know I'm alive. I'm going to just put an apple in her mouth so she has something to bite down on. Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

She's absolutely still, but she is smiling, and you can see that her cheeks are flush, so there is blood flowing through her. Horson Rider have vanished into the night. The air is clearing cold, with stars scattered and shining across the sky. There are more of them out here, far away from the burning hearths of Mudtown.

The drumming of Ser Dyer's destrier fades away and soon you're left only with the soft crackle of your campfire and I think Wellie's quiet moans to fill the silence. It is getting late, you guys have buried Wellie, is there anything anybody else needs to do before turning in? Well, I suppose, should one of us keep watch, perhaps? Yes.

You wanna handle it, zutty old boy, or should I? I can take first watch. I guess Wellie's just kind of out of the rotation. Sort of just sidestepped it by getting too horny to be awake. I feel like she exhausted herself mentally and physically. Wellie wakes up whimpering and choking. My lady, you rose such pretty petal- what?

Jesus Christ, she cored that apple. Don't talk to us immediately after having a wet dream. You need to take like a minute, take a nap. It wasn't a- and then I was- No, stop. Wellie, you can have first watch. I suspect you'll be up for a moment. Yes. I do feel invigorated.

Okay, good. You take first watch. Fair enough. Boggy is already... Like, just Boggy kind of just leans up against a tree and like instantly falls asleep. Yeah, I was sitting on a log in my full armor and I just roll over next to the log still in my full armor and fall asleep. Leaving the fire blazing. But that's good though, I need the fire. Yes, and the fire warms the back of Zedrick's armor

and Wellie with her post-nut clarity is able to keep a very watchful eye. You guys take turns and the night is uneventful. The next morning, you wake to soft sunlight in the clearing, filtering through the trees. After yesterday's rain, the golden rays deliver warmth to the softening forest floor. Subtle as a nod, soft as a sigh, the season is beginning to change. Overhead, birds call and dart through the evergreens, while unseen critters rustle in the brush.

I hunt the critters. Yeah, we have to throw an axe at the critters, of course. I hunt those critters instantly, yeah. Can I do an attack hole on the critter? I'm trying to get a muskrat if I can. You can give me a survival check if you're looking for a muskrat. Shit, that's just an eight.

Great, so you alert all of the game in the area to your presence. You can hear them fleeing into the woods. Ah-ha, now it's a chase. Is there any left of that deer? Yeah, I think it takes a while to go through a whole deer. I mean, we haven't really frozen it or done anything. I think it's gonna go bad soon.

Well, we should make a smoke chimney. Yeah, we should probably eat up now. Great, so you feed yourselves, you feed your birds, you're fortified by your day-old deer meat, aged to perfection. Yeah, let's leave this here after this. Right, we'll bury it in the bog to preserve it. Sure.

Wow. You know better than me. We can come back? Well... And eat it from the bottom of the bog? It works on the bodies. We found many a corpse at our hideout. And then you ate them?

Wait a second. No! Well... Hold on. This feels... relevant. Yeah, wait. You found corpses in your hideout?

You found corpses? Oh, there's plenty of corpses in the bog. Have you never been a bog corpse before? Oh, yes, of course. Oh. Just people throwing, you know, the murdered victims and stuff in a bog shower. Yes, precisely, yes. But the bog preserves them?

It does, yes. It has preservative properties. Do you have any water from the bog on you? Hmm. Well, I've got my canteen. There's still a little bit in there, I suppose. You drink bog water? Who doesn't these days?

Isn't it infested with microbes? In this economy? Okay. Give me a constitution save. Yep. Boggy, you look pale. God, that was so close to a nat one. Don't worry, it's just a seven.

Okay, you feel a little ill, but it would have taken a nat one for you to actually get poisoned. This would explain the horrible diarrhea I've been hearing. You have not been going far enough out from camp. It keeps anyone off our track, though. Campfire rules, you put the carnal corner 10 feet away, and the diarrhea area 15 feet away. That's not far enough.

The diarrhea dungeon. Everything needs to be way further away. The doo-doo donjon. I don't know much about camping. I don't know much about hunting, but everything needs to be way further away. All right, so let's get to this castle, right, right? And also this daybreak stuff that we were given. Is this something we should put on our weapons now, or is this something we should do when we get

closer? I examine it. I know a thing or two about relics, but only ones that I've acquired via salacious means. Perhaps Wellie, you would be best to hold this because you are good at handling sacred relics. Oh, that I was and I still can be. I hold it with so much purpose. Okay, good, yeah. I think I'll also, I'll give you a help action to investigate it. All right, let's check this out.

Dirty 20. Ooh, amazing. Just by holding it, by looking at it, you're feeling its warmth and it does, it feels like this is gonna be better used in a moment, not far in advance. Not far in advance, great. Yeah, you'll be able to apply it like as a bonus action

or just before going into battle. Great, okay. This seems like something short-lived that we should use in a moment of need. I think Wellie, who is so desperate for magic to come back to the world, I wanna look at this and see if I feel the source of its magic. Is it just pure herbalism,

or is it a lingering essence of the gods who've departed? You see in this liquid, holding it up to the light, it has almost an ethereal quality. Glimmering, moving, shining light across the forest floor. You can assume that this is a relic of the past, something that is imbued with that ancient magic for those who believe. This is precious residue. This is from the Age of Stories.

This used to run abundantly. Oh, wow. So the gods are real and they just abandoned us on purpose. Does this comfort you, Wellie? It comforts me to know that maybe they'll come back someday. Well, I think it's great that they left us this and now we can use it. Bare loss. Yes, I sort of agree with Bucky here.

Well, let's get going, Lady Genevier. Which one? Which one? Should we just name them all Lady Genevier? Genevier the Second, we'll just call one of them Second. We could do Jenny One, Jenny Two, Jenny Three. Yeah, that sounds good. So we'll just call one of them Jenny and one of them Two.

Okay, I will ride Genevier the second. Great. All right, Jenny. Stop. I'll walk. Don't walk. All right, let's proceed carefully. Yes, I straddle Genevier.

All right, we all have to watch the way we speak. I said, ride, I realize that. I started off sort of the sexual energy, although I did not mean to put it off. It's so early in the morning for this, but you guys are waking up right into it. Wellie puts on this glowing necklace and you either ride or lead your horse.

By Rorik's direction, you know that you are only a short ride from the old castle. And as you head off, the heather trail unfolds in gentle, meandering curves and the primeval forest begins to thin out around you, overgrown vines giving way to a moss-laden floor where birch trees stand thin and pale, their white trunks like the mass of sunken ships in a green sea. A derelict stone fence marks the boundary of some long-forgotten border. Beyond it, wildflowers burst in unruly clusters, their scent hitting your nose before you can even see them.

Then, the scent of something else. Something sweeter. The undeniable aroma of roasting meat. Everybody give me a perception check. That's where the muskrat went. Okay, other bandits here. A dirty 20. I got a 14.

17. So Wellie and Boggy, you both are able to see because the trees have thinned out a little bit more, the sky is more visible, the woods have become less dense, and now you can see a wispy white thread of smoke rising above the tree canopy. This is not someone cooking the rancid deer meat

like you guys did this morning. It's not rancid yet. Just kind of bad. Everybody give me a constitution saving throw. Shit. Oh, 22. That's great, 17. I got a 23.

It'll take more than old meat to get this screw down. Damn, you guys might've thrown that meat away too early. Shit. Shit, we gotta go back and get that deer from the bottom of that bog. Forge and favors the bold. It's still got life in it. Oh, it'll keep for a week at least.

The crows didn't eat all of their bugs. I'm ready for bog deer. All right, anyway, who is cooking up here? Shall we try to sneak ahead and take a look? Why don't you sneak a little bit ahead? I'm bad at sneaking. I'm very loud. You are a clanky fellow. Oh, I get so intense. I am actually not good at sneaking either. Yeah, Boggy, why don't you go ahead and send a message back to us? I'll use my superiority dice to make a stealth check using my ambush technique.

Ooh. I love to hum while I walk, so I get all my humming out right now. I just go, hmm, da da da da, hmm, ah ah. And then I go quiet. I kind of flip my cloak inside out so that it goes from being mossy to this like, this speckled gray, almost like a boulder.

Very cool. Did you know that he could do that with his cape? No, I didn't at all. All right. I would have been furious at you if you didn't tell me. Sutrik, I didn't at all. All right, I would have been furious at you if you didn't tell me. Zudrik, I can't keep secrets. Good, that is good young Wellie. I pat Wellie on the head. I purr a little bit. What? Like a happy animal. Wellie, you're hilarious. So that is going to be a 25. Oh my god, amazing. All right, so just like you're sneaking up

on a scholar or a fish baron in the woods, you duck under branches, you weave between grasping thorny shrubs, you keep on moving through the woods and finally, after passing through a buzzing cloud of gnats, you can see through a curtain of trees where the smoke is coming from. Boggy, you see a low hut made of scavenged wood with a thatched roof

tucked against an ancient stone outbuilding. This wooden addition seems much newer, a haphazard but sturdy dwelling with a fishing pole propped against the makeshift door and beside that a pair of well-worn leather sandals. Sandals? Clearly this person knows how to party. and inside that, a pair of well-worn leather sandals. Hmm, sandals. Clearly this person knows how to party. I think perhaps I will sneak up to the door and see if I can peek in the window and see if they're present.

Okay. Get a vibe from them. You can do that. Give me a stealth roll. Okay. As Boggy is gone, Cedric's just standing there quietly with Wellie and just goes,

so what do you do to pass the time? Non sexually. I write sonnets. I said non sexually. No, my sonnets are very chaste. If anything, they're sort of me repenting for how sexual I feel inside. Okay. Well, that would arguably be sexual. Do you have?

What about you? Do you have hobbies? No. What? I just don't have any hobbies. Not cars? I'm just vigilant. You've never written a sonnet?

Never. You don't play a musical instrument? What if someone stabbed me in the head while I was playing guitar? You don't bet on horses? What if someone ran me over with one of their horses while I was betting on them? God, I hope they're not bonding while I'm gone.

Well, you're on a wild side of life that I can only imagine. I got a 13 on my stealth check. Okay, so as you slink towards this window, you hear a voice, don't come no further. I don't want no trouble. Nobody wants trouble, friend. We're all looking for good times in the woods. Clearly you are or you wouldn't be here.

Did he find a glory hole? How do you know what that is? Well, glory, you know, God's glory. What? Do you beat through it, C-Scripture? I'm going back to silence. As Boggy approaches this hole, I mean window, stepping into view from a tangle of brush,

a few paces from the hut, a wiry man covered in sprigs and flowers appears with a short bow drawn at you, Boggy. He was hiding in plain sight. As you look through his floral camouflage, you can see his piercing blue eyes squinting at you. I don't like visitors, especially when they come wear and steal. Ah, well, we must protect ourselves in these foul times.

You know that as well as I, friend. What's your name? I'm Boggy Roger. Well, state your purpose, Boggy Roger, or I'll shoot you good. Just passing through, walking along the Heather Trail towards the nearest town, trying to find an inn to catch a good night's sleep. Nobody passes through the Heather Trail unless you're looking for that ill castle. Oh, there's a castle this way? Give me a deception check. Sixteen.

I hope if Boggy meets someone bad, he lies to them. But if he meets someone good, he tells them the truth. I think I hope that too. All right. On this we agree. Who's the person in your life that you're saddest that you had to kill? Probably one of my brothers. What? Yeah.

My name is Darwin. Darwin Wednesday. And all I'll tell you is if you're thinking about going to that place, well, I urge you to think of something different. There's an ill omen inside that keep. I should know it used to be my home. Darwin, Darwin, these are dark things to discuss. You must come back with me.

We have bog deer buried not 20 paces back if you wish to feast with us. I ain't going no- you say you have bog deer? Verily so. Who, who are you traveling with? Just two soldiers of fortune like myself. So how did you kill your brother? Okay, well, he was trying to, like I said, big reason I don't have hobbies. I was trying to learn the guitar. I was playing it really loudly.

And he tried to, he was of course working for a different baron than I was working for at the time But was pretending to work for my Baron so tried to sneak up on me while I was playing the guitar Luckily, I heard him at the last second clocked him with the guitar Didn't realize he was going to die from that. Sutric, we're gonna get the guitar back in your hands. Okay Listen if it would not scare you too greatly. I'll bring them over and we can all discuss further. Yeah, I ain't following you into the woods. Ha ha ha! Fair enough, friend.

Ha ha ha! Why are you laughing? Ha ha ha! Reminded me of an old joke a friend once told me. I like jokes. Tell me the joke. Oh yes, the joke. The joke that I know and that is real.

Well, if you follow someone into the woods, then you better follow him back. His fingers tense on the bow. And then he lets out a chuckle. Funny and wise, my favorite type of joke. Indeed. All right. There's much truth in JAPES. You can call your friends over here. I'll call my friends over and we can discuss all this further

and we'll bring a fresh serving of bog deer for you to feast upon. All right, I'm going to double back and say, great news. I've met an amazing guy. Oh, excellent. That's wonderful. Great, okay. Can we meet him?

Yes, come forth. Okay, great. And did you say we Yes, come forth. Okay, great. And did you say we needed bog deer? Oh yes, bring the bog deer. I think it's like miles back. Yeah. We did kind of like a half day's trip. And I don't know about you guys, but that was a deep bog.

Yeah. It sank for a while. We're gonna lose like half a day bog deer. Okay. I'm just saying. I don't wanna be like harsh right now, but okay. I'm just saying I don't I don't want to be like harsh right now But I did promise bog deer Okay, let me see if the crows have any scraps left. They might be might be able to get by this on a technicality

Yeah, I'm gonna burp a crow and see if I can get a bit of bog deer out of it. Maybe we find a new deer Oh, that's a good idea. Yes, and just quickly dip it in the bog. Yeah, we just let it get dirty We just don't really clean it off. Bog dipped, dear. Oh, okay, yes, just lightly seasoned in bog. I'll look for, I'll call my crows and see if they see anything in the brush nearby or anything. Cool. Yes, I'll help.

All right, give me a nature check with advantage since you're calling the crows. I guess I'll have my crows help, Boggy, because I have bad nature. Yeah, I scramble up a tree and I kind of watch where my crows help Boggy because I have bad nature. Yeah, I scramble up a tree and I kind of watch where the crows are going. Yeah, I mostly ate squirrels when it was just us. Welly, do not watch me climb this tree.

Oh, why? He's sort of a hump in motion. No offense, but you're not my type. Oh, he's a little offended. I'll roll survival or? Yeah, you can roll a survival or nature with advantage since Zedric's crows are gonna help you. Sick.

All right. Ah! Oh, Tabitha. Give daddy a kiss. That was me. 18. Okay, Tabitha alerts you to the presence of a stag in a small clearing nearby.

Elders bosom, that's a six pointer. Yes. This would be a fine catch. A fine prize for my friend, Darwin. Can I try and make an attack roll on it? Yeah, you can make an attack roll with your bow. Okay, sick. This Darwin drives a hard bargain.

We couldn't even just meet him. We have to bring in offering. I don't know. I'm a bogus one who met know. What is he fancy himself some sort of god? I did forget to mention he was pointing a crossbow at me for most of our conversations. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, it's my type of guy, I guess. I'll make this a lucky roll. That is a 24. Okay, you fell this deer. Great! All right, great. I go over and I put it in my giant sack of meat. Oh, a hug from the end of this day.

Good work, Boggy. Indeed. All right, so let's slap some mud on this and then get on our way. Yes, all right, let's get into little Boggy. I'll take your canteen of bog water and just drench it. Oh my God. Gives it a funk, you know?

Yeah. All right. So you guys ruin this pristine kill a little bit, just enough to make it a bog deer. And then we, yeah, just drag it back towards Darwin's house. Great. As you approach Darwin's house, dragging this deer behind you, he's standing out front.

His bow is propped up against the door next to his fishing rod. Greetings, good sir. We have heard glad tidings of you. Yes, I have heard that you are ever vigilant and ready to murder on sight. I think that that is an apt response to seeing maniacs like us in the woods.

I behaved similarly myself last night. You see Zudrick and Shuffles for his bow. Oh, fuck! I knew it was an ambush. Steady, steady, Darwin. Oh, why do you fall for everything, Darwin? He's a clanky sword, you need not worry. Stop saying that!

Come on, you should have thicker skin, brother. All right, that was funny, because the armor had thick skin. Indeed. All right, that's the, see, this is the kind of blue humor I like. Anyway, your, what was your name again? My name is Darwin Wednesday. All right, I'm Zudrick of the murder, because of crows, but also I guess I do kill stuff.

Would you like a bog deer? I was promised a bog deer, yes. I'm keeping my distance to seem non-threatening, but I am covered in blood from a bog deer, yes. I'm keeping my distance to seem non-threatening, but I am covered in blood from the bog deer, and I toss the sack. How did you? Cause I'm the one who's rolling around. I lean over to Boggy.

How did Zudrick get the most blood on him? You did the slaying. I didn't want to say it, but I saw him produce a small brush. Okay, okay. I chuck the meat like halfway between us. Darwin shuffles towards it, gives it a look, and smells the bog water.

It does confirm that it's bog deer, and he nods. So Darwin here was saying that he used to live in the castle further down. The castle? Are you perhaps a disgraced lord? A disgraced lord? Disgraced, no. A lord in good standing?

It's not a fucking lord, dude. I'm not in good standing with anything, but I ain't no lord, I'll tell you what. Lord of fishing, perhaps. He chuckles again. He's really warming to Pocky. That was funny, That was funny. That was funny.

Sir Darwin, this cottage that you live in, the stones are so old. Are they as old as the castle itself? Do they hail from the time of stories? They may well be. All this land was the land of the castle, this border, these outbuildings. I don't know if they were stables or granaries or what, but the walls have held and I just built my structure against it because if it stood this long, then surely it can handle a bit longer.

Right. Well, why is that? The old castles of old are built very well. They can withstand for a long time without much maintenance. The one I lived in withstood a cataclysm and sunk into a cave and it's almost half intact still. Yes. Why? Why is that why you left? Because it collapsed? No. Rinse got pricey? Stop. No. Wrench got pricey. Stop.

I was a member of a fellowship, a family. We called ourselves the scared ones. Yes. You're... and so you peddled in black lace. No, never. I never touched the stuff. The black lace is why I left. Okay.

What happened? Well, look, I went into that castle not because we were weak, but because we were afraid of where the world was headed. We were scared that the gods would never return to a place so corrupt and devoid of its own humanity. Arguably their fault, right? Like if they liked it so much, they could have fucking stayed around, huh? I feel like they started it, right?

Cedric, I beg of thee, you are treading on Harrison. Sorry. I beg of thee. Just saying. Don't throw stones in a glass world. Yeah, just saying. I'm sorry about that, Darwin. Sorry.

Go on. Go on, I'm just kinda pissed off. Sorry. My brother tried to kill me while I was playing guitar. What? He killed him with a guitar and he hasn't taken up the instrument since. What?

I've sworn off hobbies. You? You have the ability to play the guitar. Do you know how long it's been since I've heard a lute plucked at my fireside? I didn't say I could play the guitar. I said I was learning the guitar. I do actually technically have a lute on me

for the record in my inventory. I realized of all the people to be ironic and I gesture to my inventory. I realized of all the people to be ironic, and I gesture to my armor. That's funny. Thank you. Darwin snort laughs. Wellie laughs so hard, she passes out again. I was going to say, a bit ironic of me

to get mad at Boggy for inserting something, and then for me to sort of have an outlandish outburst. I apologize, what were you saying, Darwin? Everyone laughs for eight minutes, slowly catching their breath and repeating the joke and then laughing again. Well, he passes in and out of consciousness several times. Yes, ironic.

Ooh, ironic, oh gosh. What I was trying to say is that we moved into that castle to leave society behind and to deepen our connection with the old lands, the old ways. Right. What were the old ways that you practiced? Well, the ways of hunting what the land gave you, of having community instead of the hustle and bustle of life. Surviving in the hinterlands was hard. We were starving.

And then we did begin to fear for ourselves. And that was when Bolerick came and cast out a good port for Hilt knows what. But we took him into the castle as our brother. We gave him shelter. And in return, he taught us to hunt and to build. He taught us how to survive. And then he convinced us to help him dig out the old castle to unearth what was lost. And Boric said that the forgotten secrets of the gods were tucked away in the catacombs.

But when we cleared those lower passageways, Bolrich found something at the end of them. Something that made him believe the gods weren't coming back. And that's when he decided that the only hope for a god to walk among us again was if he became one himself. Oh yeah, Inder's feet. What did he discover that made him think the gods weren't coming back? I don't know. He wouldn't let anyone back there who didn't drink his black lace. And I wouldn't imbibe it. I didn't want nothing to do with it. Hmm. The Eldritch communion. And did you leave the order on your own?

I did. When my brothers and sisters consumed that dark dra draft, that's when I lost them. Even as they stood with me, they were gone. They don't eat, they don't drink. They've joined Bolrik in creating monstrosities out of the creatures that dwell in the caves. I never wanted to abandon my order, but a few weeks ago, they captured three travelers. Not critters this time, but people. I knew I couldn't stay and keep my soul. Maybe now I am scared.

He trails off, looking into the middle distance with his clear blue eyes. Yes, we believe we know the three that were captured. What is the purpose of the scared ones have been selling this black lace? It seems like something that would be sacred to them. Why are they giving it away? I think Bolrich wants as many people and creatures under the influence because if he can consolidate his power, if he can wield the Black Lace, they'll be his minions, they'll be under his control. All right.

So the Black Lace not only turns, it almost makes them vassals to him. I don't know if they're his vassals or his thralls yet, but I know that's what he intends. I don't know how he's going to do it, but if you're looking for for those travelers I think you might have time to stop it before his plan unfolds. Okay, sir, Darwin. We are looking for those travelers What are we going to be walking into what sort of ritual was it that made you turn foot? All I know is that he's gonna make some kind of offering the gift of a lifetime It's a sacrifice to the some kind of offering, the gift of a lifetime. It's a sacrifice to the old guardian of the castle. Who is the old guardian? All he says is the old guardian. I don't know who used to guard that keep. Well, all I know is that my

boggy buds and I accosted several a lord who was selling snake oil and false medicines and I have no love for them. Mostly because you can't sell their stuff once it's crashed to the ground and it goes rotten very quickly. Right, of course. Yeah, sort of. Yeah, the rug pull. Yeah, because it's kind of the charisma of the con man that sells the cons. Exactly.

Yeah, the tonics are worthless on their own. Yeah. I have a question. When you lived in this keep, did you see any evidence of the time before? Of the age of stories, of before the war? The only evidence I ever saw was in those early days when we were working together, when we were building, when we were hunting, and when we were when we began to dig. But once they discovered whatever this black lace is or whatever the source of it is,

then it was darker times than I ever remembered. Interesting. Sounds like the real gods were the friends you made along the way. D'Arwen laughs again. Funny and wise. I laugh, but I'm also like, ha ha, that's kind of blasphemous.

Yes, yes, yes, well. So, you know, tread carefully. Listening to Darwin say brother and sister over and over again, staring into his piercing blue eyes summons up old memories for Boggy. Can I do an insight check to see if he looks familiar to me in some way? Sure.

Yeah, there's probably me that wants to just investigate these piercing blue eyes. You all are too horny. 16. Okay, with a 16, I don't think you've come across Darwin before, but if anything with a 16, maybe you see those piercing blue eyes and you see it a hint of, you know,

what might've been a friendly face in better circumstances. Indeed, I haven't seen eyes like that since long ago, but these eyes are cloudy. These old things? I woke up like this. Do you get a lot of compliments on your eyes? Are those contacts or natural baby blues? What's a contact?

Oh. Contact lens? I don't know what you speak of. A contact is a con tactfully executed. Yes, yes, Boggy does them all the time. Yes, it's what we tried to do with the tonics, but it didn't work because they go bad so quickly. Anyway, we thank you for your time.

They're just my eyes, what are you talking about? Yes, it makes a lot of sense, okay. Darwin, is there any of your brothers or sisters in particular that you fear for the most? When you say this, he goes quiet. My sister, my sister Faye, I was closest with her. She was my bunk mate in the keep. That's a really strong bond, bunk mates.

No, you gotta be careful with bunkmates, because sometimes you're on the lower bunk, and then they'll loosen the upper bunk so that they collapse on you and kill you. But you find out about it ahead of time, so you set up your sword so it stabs through to them when they try to fall down on you. Oh. Sultryk, that's awful.

This is why everyone needs to sleep in holes in the ground. Yeah, me and my bunkmates just said the secret's in the dark we couldn't say in the light. Anyway, Tarlin. That's good, that's true. We had a good thing going, we had a good thing going. We had a carnal corner down the hallway. You need one.

I'm familiar. A diarrhea area. Far away from the sleeping area, right? Do do don don. Of course, it had to be. Don don, yes. Augie says 15 feet, which I think is just way too close. Minimum 15.

I just hear every flap. You're twisting my words, Clanky. It has to be downhill of the Colonel Corner too. Yes, okay. Of course, of course. You wanna create sort of a fecund diameter. And what does Faye look like? I'll keep an eye out for her.

She's got a slight build with high cheekbones, stark white hair, and I don't know if she'll ever do it, but if you see her smile, she's got a chip right on her front tooth. All right, and has she taken the black lace? He looks down. Very well, we will kill her quickly and vice versa. No, no.

What? We saw what happens to the people that report the- Sutrik, we will try. We will try our best. Yes, we will try. I do quote. Yeah, and then I roll my eyes when I'm wearing a helmet. Sutrik, so help me, I'll chop off those rude fingers.

Wellie, what's gotten into you? Look at that, ooh, a little bog spice. Yeah, geez. I think I had too much bog deer. Yeah, we spent too much time together. I'm gassy. We were getting too familiar after. I have indigestion from the bog deer. It's good. No, it gives you a little bit of a funk. Darwin, you've been great. We've learned all kinds of stuff about diarrhea corners and also, more importantly, the keep. Yeah. I suppose 20 feet away could be fine.

Yeah, so we'll look for Faye. Right, but if you can't save her, just do me a favor. Quick, clean. Make sure she's not a part of Bulric's plan. Very well. Speaking of Bulric, every Lord, every leader has a tale, has a weakness. Is there anything you can tell us about Bolrik that we could exploit?

Oh. He covets and desires power more than anything. I would say his biggest weakness might be his overconfidence. He may believe he can fight you without any help. He may try to prove something to his followers, and he may not see you as a threat, but maybe he'll underestimate you.

Alright, and what are the defenses like? Are we walking into a heavily armed castle that has archers at the guard towers? What's the situation? My brethren are stuck back deep in the castle. They'll let you enter it, but they may not let you leave They'll try to close in. I know unleash ungodly beasts that they've created down in the depths You'll be hunted once you enter the castle very well. Mm-hmm Okay, before we leave can I take some bog water and distill it down so that it looks?

Dark and murky as close to this black lace substance as I can make it. Ah, you wish to pull a contact. Perhaps you never know with the loadstar's guidance I may be able to pull some sort of sleight of hand if we need. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Mint Mobile. You might like keeping your money where you can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping your money too.

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Yes, we could pretend perhaps that we are there to join them, but I don't know how convincing we'll be. Yeah, I just mean as like a last case scenario if they're making us drink it. Of course. Darwin nods at that and he says, that's not a bad idea, give me one second. Okay. And he rushes into his hut

and he emerges with some empty vials. And he says, these are from our own caverns. You may be able to fool them if you try. Yes. Perhaps we could douse a little charcoal in there too to darken the color. Yeah, let's just try and mimic how it looks and then we'll each have one on us

in the event that we are being forced to take it. We can swap them. Very wise. That makes sense, very smart way. The lodestar works in you, Wellie. Thank you, Boggy. Darwin actually kind of gets a little excited and he looks at Boggy, he says,

you might be unassuming, but you're strong. He looks at Zedrick and you're cunning. He looks at Welly. You might have a chance. You really are gonna go in there and oppose Boric. Yeah, and you know what? We're supposed to get a thousand gold pieces for this and you can have half of that.

What? Under no circumstances. That's not in writing, sir. That's absolutely not in writing. We'll pay you back. I hold out my hand to shake it. I put your hand away. 500 gold pieces should help you rebuild.

Wait, no. Because all of should help you rebuild. Wait, no. Because all of us took this for the honor. We'll repay you for the vials. Very funny. I pick up Wellie and start walking away. We're done, thank you, Darwin. Draft up the papers, I'll sign it. Draft up the papers.

Nope, nope, nope. As you guys are leaving, he calls out, you're not far, but you still have to cross the Dancing River. I wouldn't dare fish those waters. They're as doomed as the castle, so be careful. Wait, wait, how do we cross the Dancing River? And would you say that fishing is a good hobby because we're on the hunt for Zudrik? No, I'm not doing hobbies.

Surely you need a hobby to pass the time. No, you just stand and have weird conversations. Surely you need a hobby to pass the time. No, you just stand and have weird conversations. I'm gonna be honest, I barely have a hobby. I don't even like sonnets. What? I think 10 syllables is too many. Yes, there you go, Wellie.

Anyways, go on, how do we get off of the Dancing River? Okay, so Darwin now jogs up to you guys after you tried to leave him a little bit, and he says, no matter what, you'll have to cross the Dancin' River. There's a bridge across the Heather Path. That's the surest way. You just have to cross it carefully.

All right, very well. You look after yourselves. That's my hobby. It's a good one to perfect. And with that, he holds up his hand in salute, holding up three fingers, his index pinky and his thumb, kind of like an I love you sign. And he presses them to his head.

He says, may the lodestar guide you, may the hill help you, and may the ender remember you. Indeed, I've never heard that. That's really good. Thanks, but they haven't done anything yet. So I'm not gonna hold out any hope. Zudrik, have you ever thought that your attitude is what's keeping them at bay?

Come on, man, crass. Zudrik shrugs. I don't know if they get pissed at that. I don't know what to tell you. Zudrik shrugs again. The gods are gone, but their hope remains, and you must hold onto that. Why?

The rusty armor just em it's a creaking sound as you shrug shoulders over and over again. Have you ever wondered if the reason they left is the same thing that's made you so jaded? Well, yes, perhaps, and in which case, why wouldn't it be godly to be pessimistic then, to have given up like them? I think that we don't know what happened in the

war between gods and mortals and I prefer to speculate more optimistically and if you prefer to speculate pessimistically then perhaps I will keep my thoughts about the gods to myself. I don't want you to keep your thoughts to yourself. I'm really good at repressing feelings and thoughts. I specifically don't want you to repress. Because thoughts are what create feelings, right? The last thing I want is for you to repress. You picture a gloved hand and then you feel the reaction to it. Wellie, why don't we both be more receptive to each other and I will lead the charge on that. Yeah, no, it's, it's fine. Everything's good. Everyone take your fake files.

Oh, right. Thank you. Your bottoms up. All right. No, not yet. Sorry. Just bog water. You hand me a shot.

I'm going to drink it. Okay. So we need to get to this dancing river and I guess cross this bridge, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Ha ha ha! Sorry I've been hanging out with you too long. What a bully jest from you, sir. Darwin's full belly laugh echoes in the clearing

and his last message echoes in your ears until his words give way to the rush of a river ahead. Through the sparse tree cover, you can see where the earth slopes downward into a wide babbling brook. Dappled with light, the water glints and dances like a sequin-draped ball gown twirling under a chandelier. There's no mistaking it, this is the dancing river.

How are you guys approaching it? We'll look for the bridge. Yeah, is there a bridge? Yes. Give me a perception check. I'll give someone advantage. 12. 19.

So Wellie, maybe you're riding ahead and as you approach the river, Wellie, you see two large wooden posts stand beside the river, charred at the base. As you move closer, you can smell the acrid scent of burnt oak. And now, Wellie, you can see the ashen remains of a wooden bridge, half sunken

and scattered along the riverbank. Beside the water, a large slate gray stone bears a message, scrawled in blood. Travelers go home. That's not very considerate. Yeah, well, we're not gonna listen to that sign. The opposite of welcome, Matt. Can I do a perception check on the water

to see if it's run afoul in some way? Sure. 15. No, it does not look like the water has run afoul. It's crystal clear rushing water. It doesn't look terribly deep. It looks like the current is strong, but like you guys could potentially ford it on your horses.

I think if we are good to leave our horses here, what if we made a rope bridge and then you, Zudrik, you could use your lance to launch yourself across and carry the rope bridge with you. How far across the river is it? Maybe 40 feet. I can't do that. I think you're going to have to take your armor off, otherwise you will absolutely drown.

Yes, not going to do that either. OK. Is there are there any rock outcroppings like in the middle so that I could do like a halfway jump? Yes, Zudrick, now that you ask, there is in the middle kind of like a gravel bar, a drift of rocks making a small island pretty much in the center of this river. Okay, I can get 15 feet off of my lance.

I could probably get to the middle there and use Wellie's plan. I'll sit down and knot together like a little rope bridge. So Wellie, you construct a knotted rope bridge, kind of like a rope ladder with all of your guys' traveling gear. Can we test this? So it seems like the waters aren't corrupted from what Wellie saw. Why don't we just see what we're up against?

Yes. Can I just throw a little piece? I assume we just have some meat on us. I just toss some meat into the water. Oh, don't toss the meat, man. Come on. Just a teeny bit. There's pebbles aplenty. You toss the meat into the river, it rushes away.

I hate running water. All right. It's disgusting. The water's too clean. I love running water. Running water is what takes the rough earth rocks and tumbles it into something smooth and perfect. Yes, running water also, I think,

is how you know that the water is clean. And all that bog water is very bad for you, Boggy. Again, I don't know much about survival stuff, but it's real huge red flag that you drink bog water. To each their own friend. The amount of mosquito eggs you eat. Yes. Give me a constitution saving throw.

Oh, your chicken eggs are fine, but mosquito eggs are not okay. All of a sudden. Okay, that's a 22. Amazing. God, this is, maybe Boggy has the right of it. Cool, I will run forward, clanking on the ground, shove my lance in and go 15 feet across

to the rocky outcropping in the middle, holding the rope that- Okay. Whaley had tied together. So you take the rope in your gloved hand, you crunch across the gritty sand along the bank of the river, you dig your lance in and you pole vault yourself

across the shifting stones and over the cold coursing water and you land in that mid channel bar, the gravel shifting underfoot. Okay. Bully, he's done it. Well, halfway done it. All right, seems fine. Let's keep going the rest of the way. Can you leap again?

Yes, let's do it. Going to lance in the ground and launch myself another 15 feet across. All right. You plant your lance in the gravel, pull vault again, and boom. You land on the other side of the river, feet smacking into the wet grass of the opposite riverbank.

Okay. Yes. Okay, I'm gonna tie up the rope on this side and- I'll tie it up on this side. Okay All right. I think Darwin was you know, perhaps just being overly vigilant, which is of course good Yeah, I'm gonna I don't trust my dexterity. So I'm gonna try and climb across by like Underneath it. Yes. Okay, like monkey bars. Yeah. Yes. I'll go behind Wellie and prepare an action to catch her if she falls. Okay. Wellie, give me an athletics check as you swing across the river.

21. All right. So Wellie, you are swinging athletically across this rope bridge hand over hand. I think I am still thinking of everything that Zudrik has been saying. And I think that I am starting to feel pessimism creep in. As you feel that pessimism creeping in, gripping the rope bridge tighter and tighter, you look down and you see this flowing water. The crystal clear

current begins to darken. At first it looks like sediment, but the color is unnaturally dark and besides that it's thickening. Now it's not even moving in the right direction at all. Wellie, below your swinging feet the river stalls and swirls, then it rises. Right below you, the leaden water pulls upward, a naturally high, a shape forms reaching out for you. Two arms, a mouth, an imposing figure made from the river itself, and as it does, you realize, much to your horror,

that this figure is not the only threat. Everybody roll initiative. Ooh! Seven. 17. I get advantage on initiative now because of my rod. 19. Boggy, in that case, you are going to act first,

but before you do, let me tell you what else is happening. In addition to this aberrant water figure that is reaching for Wellie's dangling legs, you also see bursting from the remnants of the Ashen Bridge below you an enormous river beast, a monstrous crustacean with pincers like gleaming hooks and a maw of grasping tentacles moving almost hypnotically and dripping with ink, and beneath its feet rising from the muck, a writhing mass of leeches surging across the water, a slithering tide moving towards the bank that you are currently standing on.

And Boggy, you are first. Well, I found our dinner. Let's get out of here. Let's just leave the river. Get Wellie and let's go. I'm trying. I think I'm going to pull out my blades and try and slice this thing

as I grab Wellie and push forward. Go ahead and make an attack. Nat 20. Whoa. All right. Nine damage. Okay. And then I'll do my offhand attack with my rip here. Does a 13 hit.

It does just. Woo, all right. She's just a water monster, she's not wearing armor. You're not fit to drink, friend. I'm not saying something. So that's just going to be four more damage. You see that this thing reaching for Wellie is still angry, but it is a little diminished.

Okay. And is there anything else you can do? I think I'm just kind of like getting a slash so that Wellie and I can get free. Just trying to like slash this thing to distract it so that Wellie and I can keep moving. Okay, so go ahead and give me an athletics check. That is going to be a six, but you know what?

I'll go ahead and use tactical mind. I'll add a D10 to that. Okay. That's a nine total. Okay. So as you slash into this water monster, you try to navigate around Wellie, try to hurry her along, and you miss a rope,

and you tumble down hitting the gravel and the gravel island below in the middle of the river. And that is this water monster's turn. It's gonna, even though you're down here, it's still reaching for Wellie. So it's gonna try and grab her. That's only a 13 to hit. Mrs.

Okay, it reaches up and Boggy has diminished it enough. Its arm is just out of reach of you. And now that is Zudrick's turn. Okay, I'm going to, my lance has a reach of 10 feet. So I'll go like five feet in, just stepping a little bit in and I'll reach my lance out, preparing an action essentially to pull anyone from the middle island to the other side. All right, so you are preparing to help anybody

across the river who is stuck on that middle island and now Boggy You hear the crunching and the splashing of this monster crustacean coming towards you it is going to make two attacks a 17 to hit ah come to give me a watery grave have you that hits a 17 and a 13 13 will miss okay, so it does get one of its giant pincers around you. You're gonna take 12 damage as it squeezes your waist. Ow! Woo hoo hoo!

Oh. Ha! He's dead, we have to go. This time for real, he's dead. Ah ha ha! Maybe you're right. Wait, well he what? And Boggy, as you're in this thing's hand

and its hypnotic tentacles are reaching towards you, you're going to need to give me a constitution save. Oh. Good God, we need to get out of here. And get at those thus far. Not now though, that's an eight. Good God. Okay.

Wait, wait, wait. Do I have a reaction even though I haven't gone yet? You would, yeah. Okay, when I see Boggy get hit, I'm gonna say, activate load start. And I'm gonna use my rune that when I see a creature within 30 feet of you get hit by an attack roll, I can use my reaction to choose a different creature

other than the attacker within 30 feet. So I'm gonna like guide that crustacean to attack the water. Sick. Okay, so this thing reaches out, it has its giant pincer around Boggy's waist. And just before it goes to constrict you, Wellie shouts something from the rope bridge

that makes it redirect its pincer and chop over at this water monster for 13 damage. This thing is actually looking much worse for wear now. Oh, Ender's ass, I thought it was fish food. I could have sworn I got pinched. What was that? It's the lodestar. But Boggy, you are not out of the woods yet.

You're standing there in the river and you see this tide of leeches swimming towards you. They are going to take an attack. Shout out to the two crew. All right. Your boots are so waterproof, so they're gnawing at your boots and they're not able to break through.

You fools, how do you think I keep my blood so clean? I grab a couple leeches and I put them on my arm. Those are bad leeches, I think, Boggy. You gotta get the excess bog water out somehow. Don't you know anything about tempers, man? Wellie, that is now your turn. What I wanna do is I wanna go into Might of the Gods and try to jump down, grab Boggy, and then jump back up.

Okay, so you wanna jump down, grab Boggy, and then try to jump back up using Zudrik's lance. Yeah. I see you like, you like double in size, right? You get like huge. I think that it's, well, I think someone who believes in the gods, I would look like I was bigger, but I think to Zudrik, you wouldn't see it.

Oh, I think Boggy is underwater, and like it's the distortion of the water to him that makes you bigger. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. So I just, I think I'm feeling really conflicted but if I let Zutrix words affect me, I'll lose everything I can do. And so I'm just gonna try and clear my mind and believe.

Okay. Just do it. Just do it. So Wellie relies on the strength of her convictions and the strength of her runes. Yeah. And you are going to jump down into the chaos and try to grab Boggy and escape.

Yeah. Give me a strength check. I do it with advantage. It's okay Wellie. The Ender's Boot Heel comes for us all. 16. 16. Wellie, you're hanging onto this rope bridge.

You grow dramatically in size. Boggy's looking up from the river. His view is distorted from the water. Zudrik, maybe because you don't believe or maybe because there's light streaming in through your helm, but you don't see how large Wellie has gotten. But you jump down, crunching onto the gravel.

You grab Boggy in your large arm. Is this it? Am I being crushed by the Ender? Not yet, Boggy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all I've done, Ender. Is this rippling flesh the Ender's thighs? I'm a weak man. But you're able to secure Boggy

and you are jumping to the other side of the river with Zudrik's help. All of these monsters are going to take opportunity attacks on you. As is their right. Water monster is, oh shit. Roll the 23 to hit you. That hits. Okay.

But I'll take the damage, right? I can take the damage and still be moving. Yeah. Do your worst. So you take 12 damage from this water beast. This lobster beast is also going to take one pinch at you. That is a 19 to hit. That hits. Only eight damage.

But since it did hit, you have to give me a constitution save as its tentacles reach out to grab you as well. That's a 19. Yes. You're able to resist the poison tentacles reach out to grab you as well. That's a 19. Yes. You're able to resist the poison tentacles. You stare into them and you say, you know what? Maybe this isn't as hopeless as I thought. And just as you do that,

the leeches are gonna make one final last ditch effort at Boggy. That is only a four. Your boots are so fucking waterproof. And you guys flop sodden and bleeding on the other side of the river. I'm really hurt. Well done, Willie.

Do you need a potion? Yes, good work. Maybe if we just rest for a little bit before we approach this castle, I could feel better. Let's put some distance between ourselves and the river. Also, let's, I don't know, this feels weird, but we gotta throw like a pebble at the horses or something so that they run away,

because I don't want them trying to go near the water. I chuck a javelin at the horses. No, no, come on. I want the blade. I have really good aim, it's just gonna go right through their hooves. Oh, okay, that's fine, yes, as long as you just scare them, okay.

Okay, give me an attack roll. No! No! No, it's his campaign, he can kill as many horses as he wants. 12. That's fine. You didn't hit a horse.

I pull them back and we put some distance between ourselves and the river. Okay, and you see the horses also absentmindedly munching on grass. They see the javelin fly overhead. They turn and meander back towards Mudtown. Yeah. Unbothered. Yeah. So, Welly, that was amazing. Something happened. I saw a light about you dancing. Really?

Yes. Are you sure it just wasn't a trick of the water? I don't know. It could have been a trick of water. It could have been the leeches sucking on my eyeballs. I know not what it was. They got your eyeballs? Holy shit! We need an optometrist! No, it's fine. It's fine. You want them to suck on them a little bit. You don't want your eyes to bulge too much. Do you have parasites now? Oh, you did before. Yes, he did. He's drinking the bog water. But yes, well, I would not have thought it possible for you to lift Boggy over your head and be able to jump to the other side. That was quite impressive. Thank you. It's fine. It's nothing.

Well, no, it is. It's something, certainly. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's no big deal. Right. Well, you did something good, and that's good. Thank you Well, thank you for your Lance to you know get back on to solid ground and away from a river That was trying to attack us yes indeed this calls for a song I hand the loot to Zudrik Zudrik turns around and throws an axe at whoever is attacking him Surely this is a setup, Bucky. You've got magic fingers, friend, I know it.

I absolutely, again, learning to play the guitar, okay? It's like lesson one I got attacked. Ah. All right. I'd give anything for another flute boy, and I think that you have the potential. I guarantee I don't. So you guys caught some rest on the side of the trail, but you press on, on foot now, so it takes you a little bit longer.

But before the end of the day, the sun is low in the air, and a few yards ahead of you, you see a sharp drop off. This is a deep ravine. At the top of the ravine, there's a giant willow tree just starting to bud, and it clings to the ridge with its exposed root system digging into the cliffside like talons. Tied around this tree, you see a thick rope. All right, perhaps this is the way down into the caves.

Oh, that makes sense. Personally, I do not like to see ropes hanging from trees. I have bad experience with those in the past. Sure, shall we try to tug the rope, I suppose? Yeah, tug it. Okay. I also don't really like holes, so I'll sit this one out. Sure.

I go over and I tug on the rope. Okay. You can give me an inspection check with advantage. Oh, yeah. Dirty 20. Great. You know, you could even pull up this rope, tug at it, tug at the knot. This is secure. All right. Shall we proceed pull up this rope, tug at it, tug at the knot. This is secure.

All right, shall we proceed? Yeah, yeah, lead the way. All right. I just go over and I do just a video game, like jump down the rope where I go so fast down and get such rug burn on my hands. Wow. You see steam coming off of my gauntlets

as I just go down so fast. You lose playing fingers. Zudrik without hesitation just drops into the abyss. Give me an acrobatics check. 18. You speed down this ravine, clenching your gauntlet just at the right time to slow your fall and you crunch onto the hard earth below.

Is this descending into the castle? This is descending kind of into the ravine where the castle sunk into, where it sunk into the earth. I think Wellie's gonna take her time because she's looking for any evidence of times before. So I think she's gonna go down slowly and see if there's anything written on the walls or. Wellie, take this.

Boggy's gonna hand Wellie the rod of alertness and he's going to take his flint and tinder and light the top of it so that it will shed bright light within 60 feet. Okay. I'm like spelunking and like looking around, looking for murals or anything like that. Okay, great.

So give me an acrobatics check and you can also give me a perception check. Acrobatics is a seven. Oh, boy. Perception is a 14. There you go. I'm really neglecting my rope climbing. Don't get distracted, Wily.

As you're going down, you look up and you see this willow tree just beginning to bud on the side of the cliff. And now that you're looking up at it, you can see its exposed root system. And this does look like something that you carved. This looks like the ender's sigil, the tree with the roots growing underneath.

Is that you? As you whisper that, you let go of the rope a little too much, a little too loose, and you start to tumble down. Give me a dex save. 14. Great.

You catch the rope just in time, just before you hit the ground below. Zudrick, you see Wellie seemingly falling towards you. I have like a look of religious awe on my face and then I start falling. Oh no. I knew you wouldn't have been. Ah!

You come to your senses just before impact, almost like something nudged you to grab the rope and you do and your feet hit solid ground. Boggy, that is you if you wanna give me an acrobatics check to get down. Indeed. 14. Okay. Boggy, you make it down as well. All three of you guys are down in the ravine now, looking up at the ridge, the sunlight and warmth of your campsite, of your journey today, the battle in the water, they're all a distant memory. The air in the ravine is thick with cold. A small

stream skitters and crackles over the rocks behind you. Beyond the stream is a blanket of dead leaves, and beyond that, you see the gaping mouth of the castle. The hermits have been at work here, just like Darwin said. Parts of the castle that had been engulfed by earth have been excavated, including large parts of the castle's facade. A hazy ray of the last light breaks through the branches of the giant willow tree above and lands on the exposed archway. Carved into the crumbling stone is the castle's name.

This is a celestial carving above the castle door. Wellie, you can read this. The castle's name is the Dawnhold. The Dawnhold. And we have this, I clutched the vial at my neck that Sir Dyer gave us, and this is called Daybreak. The Dawnhold. Do any of the deities that I have learned to worship,

like are any of them associated with the sun? Wellie, you've studied this at the Order of the Oak and Ore. So give me a history check with advantage. 15. Wellie, you know the Dawnhold. The Dawnhold is the old keep of Lanark Summer, the last princess to live in the Age of Stories. Wait, really?

This is the... Do you two know about the Age of Stories and the war between gods and mortals that ended it? I know the songs. I know some of it, yes. Well, it all started because everyone was fighting for the love of the Princess Lanark. This is her keep. Oh, Indus Chin. Do you think this is where the stories end?

Could be. Below the castle's name, elven words are carved into the stone. Sal Soa, Sal Nu. Wellie, you also study this language. Yeah, studying is what we do. While I breathe, I hope. Below these words, the opening to the castle is ink black. The dawn hold beckons to swallow you

like it swallowed so many before. And that's where we'll end our session. Whoa! Unto the dawn! so many before. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh! Unto the dawn! That's crazy that we were thinking about like, faith and hope, and then we have this thing of while I breathe, I hope. Very cool.

Yeah. That was very poetic. Sweet, we'll talk about this more over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod, that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D, don't sing yet yeah i want to plug a game that murph and i have been playing oh yes sorrel eye and the laser eye it's a puzzle game it's so oh yeah it's been i'm so excited i believe it's been out for a few years but uh we had a friend

recommended to us and it is like the only game that has held my attention in this way in a while. We have put hours into it, delightful hours. A 20 hour weekend into it. Awesome. It was really fun. It's by the people that made Year Walk, right? Yes, by the people that made Year Walk,

which if you like Year Walk, I love Year Walk. You should, it's amazing. The puzzles are hard, hard in a very fun way. Yes, challenge me daddy. It's just resin. It's a video game that says, by the way, you should have a notebook handy

while you play this. Yeah, which is great. It rules. Can't beat it. Yes. I've got something fun to plug. Cool. I'm doing a fun little thing with some folks

you might know, Matt Mercer and Freddie Wong. We're gonna be doing a creator karaoke event for charity. We're gonna be singing along with a crowd and competing in karaoke. And I think whoever wins gets to donate more money to their charity. But all of the money goes to charity, I believe. I'm gonna be singing for Emily's sister's legal fund.

Central American Legal Assistance. That's right, that's so cool. So it's gonna be at the Vermont Theater on April 4th, I believe. The tickets are available now. Tickets are at dice.fm. It's called Creator Karaoke April 4th. It's me, Freddie Wong, and Matt Mercer.

It should be a lot of fun. Amazing. Great URL, dice.fm. Yeah. It's no Vegeta.fm. You. Yeah. It's no vegeta.fm. You have to win. No pressure, no pressure. Okay, got it, oh God.

And with that, we'll go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on social media, they're rememberin' it, use, at St. Augustine's First Me, at Coldest Caldwell, at AXA Demolition, and at St. George's Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADpod, that's N-A-D-D-D-P-O-D.

We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show and you know what that means. It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, later Mixgator, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C. Daniel G. Prudence, Travaskis, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T. Balnor's Boy,

Hoyt's Friend, Justin I., Danny Danster, TJ M., Trelai the Crefe, Christopher B., Daniel R., Jordan L., Cyborg version of Josh the Kobold. Stevie Wags. Hellish Rebuke-er the Unemployed, but it was a toxic job, so it's not a bad thing.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that then. Princess Yar. Jory S. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of every film ever made in Bohemia. Mike H. Elga Smeltzer Plus.

Great Value Gemma. Tyler F. Heradrian. Carboro Chapel Hill FPV. Rex Than Yiddel the White. Cici Lulu. Old Cops Dunkle Older Burn. LQ Pachol.

The Rabbit Folk Detective. Timmy R. Reiko. Calder Comes Cold. Shout out to the cold companions. Frosty Facial, Taylor B, maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way. Cass Strong, Grinch, Stephen, the virtuous pagan

guide of Bear Hell Sea. Mike K, Nick W, William W, Big Bad Beard-O-The-Mad, Ananarama, Percival Fredrickstein, Von Musel Klosowski, DeRolo III, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock, Mayonnaise, Hegemony, I don't know how to say that word.

Ben A, Dave H, Dustin S, not that Nick. Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookvars assistant Izzy F. Big Bad John, DPC is awesome. Hashtag honor the cock, shown the shade dream mechanic of Salvador summer rose Grand tear mark the Dark Lord's taint cat see Mesa of house and Zunza Ariel the occasional mermaid Selena and Valacy Raptor be perky always Pat L. Maxwell J

Lauren H. Serv 16. Annie the Feywild Therapist. Connor S. Salil. Bioquart 7. Amber Dextrous. Bean Rat was innocent. Trub Hopdropper. Jack H. King of the Mole People Under Iron Deep.

Dressed in blue and fight his way through, a bracket, style, a tournament. Vaelyn, Paj, the bitchin' bunny bard. Carlin C, Noah, the bullywog boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G, everything bago, the eladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripey. Bago the Eladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripy, Reverend Chatcherbones. I think that one's new for me and that's a delight. Han, Eric B, Marcos, learns the balance druid, Frida M, Maggie, Holly the green laughing

hyena, Kal misses the D5s with all her heart, Aaron B. Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Cody C. Lorelei the succubi and Kira the succulent snack. McKenna Stout. Your friendly neighborhood yawn and yunkle. Andrew and Sid. John Adams. We can be done with the presidential puns. Meg, the mail carrier of Bohumia. John Adams, we can be done with the presidential puns. Meg, the mail carrier of Bohumia. James F.

Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them, turn to page 42. Keep them, turn to page 69. Shane C. Barpo Goodbarrel Bartbarian. Garrett G. One big curd.

Renee the Monster Captain. Olivia the Enchanting Bard. And Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who will be auditioning for Callie's Acting Troop. You're in. Blue Ash. Fico. Garrett the Artificer.

Damon, son of the one merchant named John. Valkyrie, the Gert C. Brother. Anthony, the brightest of dudes. Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo. Yeet! Cantrip Dumbledore, the bare onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi loves the two crew. Roger L., no drog the pass a fist barbarian,

Gino T., John Luca, Tristan, the talentless Hong, Leon K., legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios, the great, Joshua S., Alexander, Linz W., Johnny Dude K., Pavu Eskenar, the Goliath Paladin providing service Alexander, Linz W, Johnny Dude K, Pavu Eskenar, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile, Tim M, T.R., MLG Cheeto, Shell B, Kenna's first favorite sprite girl skulking around Scaldova,

surreptitiously feeding Zudrik's crow so they become her friends. Snails who's infecting Worcester for within. Sir Welly's sultry secret, sacred sapphic sonnet. Ha ha ha ha. Me, my Sky Days. Megan, Anne. Anthony B.

Savannah H. Balnor's best friend, Steve. Stephanie of House and Zunza. Benjamin A. Balnor's best friend Steve. Stephanie of House Unzunza. Benjamin A. Gimli the Corgi, Papa and Foster's canine friend. Mickle A. Josh H. Pilot of the Nightmare Verse Flight. Froakie. The Two Crew Blew Through. Jennery. Ethan the Mailman. Maple the Shy bookworm,

Ashesaurus, Seth E., Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose, Michael Lyle S., the second, Carl B., plumber of the realm, Dex Riddlewell, Hannah A., Ra, Ace Dregs, High Lord of Critsburg. Darius D. The guy from that one thing.

Vin Diagram. Catamelius the consumed. A gun banjo boy of the flatlands with two working kidneys. Bird of holding. Clinton P. Grinchful Cam the Grinch frog man. Dean. Jake W. Hi Mom. Tuesday Cross the Choose Your Own Adventure Writer not the porn star.

Steve Law. Tyler M. Alex G. Zippa De Beccary. Kaylee of the Order of the Oaken Ore. Oh hello friend. Katarina C. Lady Jacqueline P. of Castle Whitestone. Greg W. wants the D20 truck nuts that Jake thought up. Baruch Thunderhelm, 5th generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Literally Satan. That's not me editorializing the last one, that is another member. Chupac Aubrey, Bony is Dead, Cohen Pace, the Duke of Silks, Missing Son, The Waterworth, Nick, and finally Amy. Thank you all so much for supporting us. We love you.

Muah, muah, muah, and a wet one. Muah! Goodbye, sweeties. That was a hate gum podcast.