Not Another D&D Podcast - Skaldova - Ep. 9: The Descent

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

The Zu Crew cracks into the spill pipes, and finds themselves in a tight spot.Sound Mixing and Editing by Brian Murphy and Faris MonshiMusic / Sound Effects Include:"Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford"Grimhawke" by Emily Axford"Solstice" by Emily Axford"Snake Fight" by Emily Axford"Broken Heart Banshee" by Emily Axford"The Depths of the Dungeon" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Terms and conditions may apply. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to the Campaign After the Campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Skaldova, everybody. Skaldova! I saluted while I said it, I just want you to know. He sure did.

I'm your Dungeon Master, Jake Hurwitz, here with Brian Murphy. Taking craps because of traps, Zudrick of the Murder. You would call them craps because of traps, Zudrick of the murder. You would call them craps. Emily Axford. Despite all her faults, she sure knows how to waltz. It's Wellie Handham.

You have to stop falling in love in this terrible place. No, I've learned my lesson. A trap taught me my lesson. Yes, love is the ultimate trap. And of course we've got Caldwell Tanner. B is for the bog I'm living in. Oh no. O is for my zero living friends. G times two good golly. Why am I so jolly? My life is all fun and folly. Let's go now, it's Boggy Roger time. Yay!

Yay! Bravo. Thank you, I sing that every morning after I take a dump. You guys were a real rat pack. It's like how cats get the zoomies after they take a dump, but the human version of poop euphoria. Right, because my poop is just laden with toxins. Boggy has poop euphoria.

We were called the Musk Rat Pack, it's true. Wow, and before you croon too much further, how about a little recap? I love it. Last time, our three curious companions explored the final rooms of the Lower Passageway. First, you uncovered a single cell that previously held the missing Lila.

Next, you picked through the scared one's barracks, uncovering personal effects, robes, and a tormented monk named Faye. She gave you a signet ring claimed by Bulric and told you about another way down to the ritual site before Wellie cruel intention style kissed her diseased hand. I don't think you described it as diseased before. She was rife with black lace.

I think I just learned that. I just re-listened to the episode and I now have just learned. Well, he fell in love with the Spectre. Then you tried to pick the lock into Bulric's quarters before it exploded forward, crushing Wellie and Zudrick. Zudrick then proceeded to shit in Bulric's bedroom while the rest of you discovered relevant plot stuff.

I was there too for some of that. One, a burnt scholar's cap in the ash of Bolrick's torched belongings. And two, a drawer full of garnet stones, which you used along with the signet ring to unlock the vault of Sir Hilda Garnet, the solar knight mage. And that is where we are now.

Okay. I stab forward into the door. I'll never trust another goddamn door. Who's standing there? Well, I couldn't tell whose side you were on. Ours is the door. I was trying to fart into the door into another chamber. It's only polite.

Zudrik, you've become the trap. Zudrik looks long and hard off into the distance. I will contemplate this well, indeed. What is armor except a trap for your own stench? Zudrik stares into the darkness as this monstrously thick vault door groans open, the space behind it shrouded in shadow. Zudrik stabs his lance forward and Boggy raises a torch.

You find a medium sized cavity lined with rough-hewn stone shelves. Immediately, your light catches something and it shimmers. A pool of coins, silver, copper, even gold. It almost dazzles, but then a realization dawns on you. No, it doesn't. Boggy, I hold Boggy back. Everyone relax. What's up. You're so happy.

Boggy, do you remember how the universe punished me for my carnal instincts? I form-tackle Boggy. Boggy is lucky. Right in the knees. Boggy, my lust for the carnal is similar to your lust for the coin. I must have these carnal coins. Everyone, there's traps everywhere. Boggy basically says a wuga and dives forward.

I'm gonna come, I'm gonna freakin' jizz. Zedrick makes an illegal hit on Boggy, just helmet to helmet contact, it's so brutal. Leap tackle. Oh, sorry. Ruff, where were you? I'm sorry. A realization dawns on at least two of you.

These aren't ancient riches. This is modern currency. Your gaze falls on the canvas sacks that it's spilling from, each stamped with a familiar seal. Bolrich's Black Chalice. Oh. Okay. God, I wish we had a way to figure out what, because you can really learn the psychology

based on what, how they want to entrap us. Borek's Black Chalice. Is this? Yeah, I'll take a freaking swing at the coins. Okay. I'm just gonna hit them. Give me an attack on the sack. They won't take dented currency, man. I'm gonna prepare a reaction to attack if a skeleton pops out.

I got a 17. Amazing. That's the best you've ever done. That's not the best I've ever done. Everyone relax. Holy crow. That's not that good. Zudrik gets up from form tackling Boggy and stabs forward, spearing a sack,

coins spray everywhere. You realize Bolrik has been in here. He's defiled this place. The vault isn't overflowing with relics from the Age of Stories. It's a stash of payment from recent marks. They'll gotten gain from the poor souls who thought the scared ones might heal them.

Ah, profits from their bum potions. Okay, so Boggy, it's actually fine for you to go nuts on this stuff? Right away. Boggy, while you do that, just to be so sure, will you hold up a coin? And I think I just want to do like a religion check to see if this will corrupt you.

Well, too late for that, my friend, but go on. Yeah, I don't think we, yeah. I don't need to do a check for that. I, can I do, I don't even think I have good religion. Okay, I have a plus two. Can I do a religion check on Boggy and the coin and see if there's any kind of, I guess I am looking if there's some sort of

corrupting effect that's been put in it rather than a metaphorical, it does money corrupt society. Boggy's just looking at it being like, ooh, I can afford the good wax for my boots. Okay, just an 11. So with an 11, you stare at Boggy, staring at these coins. Boggy, why do you think Boggy Roger wants this cash?

Well, why does he want the cash? Why does anyone want cash so that they can buy goods, my man? He's thinking about improving the campsites, perhaps putting in, getting some fresh shovels so we can dig some new trenches for fire pits and whatnot. Maybe, oh, it'd be so great to have like a terrarium where we could keep our eels so they'd be fresh until it's time to put them in potages. Oh, that'd be fantastic. I think deep down though, deep down, I think

Boggy is looking at this coin and realizing that maybe he can use it to attract his friends to stay with him, to perhaps get them to join him another day at the campfire, buy some tints and whatnot. I think, then I think then I feel like Willy actually feels like this is a healthy relationship. I don't know, I don't think that Willy like mind read that, but I think that the sense of Boggy's relationship to the coin is like Okay, he's using it right. But just seeing seeing all this down here. You see such a takes a

Hit from a pipe seeing all this down here just laying around though It's just crazy because it's like we're looking at this and it's like money is just made up. You know what I mean? Yes, it's made up of metals. Holy crap. Right, yeah. You're right. Just like a sign value to it, right? No, it's usually metals that have been laboriously protracted from the earth. Oh, right, you know in this case it is, yeah.

So usually the value is the scarcity, the rarity, the difficulty of acquiring it. No, that was Tom. I put it down, I stomp on it. Zudrin, do you come from a place where there's just gold lying around? I mean, yeah, you kill people, they leave money behind. What?

Yes, you raid a castle of one of the enemy's 17 kings. They've killed god knows how many kings themselves, and they've got a big pool full of gold. You take that and then everyone kills each other for that gold, yeah. Is the faraway fjords rich in metals or is it just the amount of war that's creating the industry that- Correct. At any given time there is one awesome pool of gold and everyone's fighting for it. Okay, so you've kind of proved your own point about the scarcity thing. Wow. Okay. I start smoking again. That's, that's awesome.

That's just something to think about. Have you been a smoker all along? Yeah. Zudrick, just let's have my voice cut like this. I actually used to sound like you, Willie. Really? But you don't even seem to have that much of an addiction because we've been together for several days and this is the first time you've lit up. Yeah, I just do it because, you know, I don don't know this seemed like a thoughtful moment to think about coins and stuff. Well, Bogleaf isn't actually addictive welly that's a myth that's

probably been spread by the churches and the various organizations you're affiliated with. Yeah. Really? I can stop whatever I freaking want. It's not a portal drug as people say. A plume of smoke escapes Zudrick's visor. Yeah I'm hot-boxing myself. Alright I guess it's not the devil's herb. I give Tabitha a little bit. No, that's funny. Thanks, I thought it was a... Do you blow smoke into her mouth?

No. You're crass. What is... What is the fascination here? Well, are you serious? I'm a shipper. I'm a shipper. She's a bird. Okay, so as the smoke leaks out of Zudrik's helm, I'm a shipper. I'm a shipper.

She's a bird. Okay. So as the smoke leaks out of Zudrick's helm, well, you're 11. We'll tell you that like, of course, money, as you know, like can corrupt, but looking into Baggy's eyes, you almost sense that he's, he's greedy, but selfless. He wants all of these riches, but the, you know, all of his desires are driven by- The community focus. He wants to keep the party going. Yeah. Exactly.

Have you ever had a heated bath before? Literally, you can get a big tub and you put a fire underneath it. You just need a big enough tub for it. And then you can take a warm bath. It's incredible. We are only allowed ice cold baths because it's good for the purity of the

soul. Warm baths make you think in pure thoughts. Okay, I'm getting why the Okanar was spreading the gateway drug rumors. That makes sense. Should we, you know what, we are just going to kill everyone anyway, so we can always grab these coins on the way back. Well, I say we carry as many as we can, but yes, come back for the mother load afterwards. All right, that's cool. So yes, why don't you each roll a D100? You guys can call who is gold, who is copper, and who is silver. I think Wellie's copper. Okay.

Or silver. I mean, I don't want copper, so you can be copper. I think Boggy should be gold. Oh. What, why? So kind. Because you're covered in silver plate metal. Your armor is like a big part of your personality.

It's like heat iron. Gold is the color of my teeth. Look, I just want an equal cut of money, so if we're being cute for now, that's fine, but at the end, we gotta split the shit up. 76 copper for Wellie. Really high for copper. Oh my God, 69!

Yes! Silver for Zudrick. Just 30 gold, not bad. This is so great. All right. This is still an incredible wealth. Yeah, it's still a nice windfall for you guys. And as you count it all up,

you also find a few squat bottles, corked and dipped in wax. You recognize the swirling liquid inside. These are healing potions. Bolrick's private reserve, insurance against his dangerous work. You guys can roll two D4 to see how many potions of greater healing you find.

I got a D4, I'll roll one. Okay, I guess I'll roll the other one. I got a one. I got a four. Yes, okay, five, that's great, that's great. Five potions. Great work. Shall I go ahead and mix these up with some saffron right now? I mean, saffron's very expensive, and it actually takes a thousand crocus flowers to make one ounce of saffron.

You just know so much about saffron, Wily. That's really interesting. For being so crass, you actually know a lot about stuff. I am crass. You see through to the true me. No, that's not... I'm talking about the bird stuff, not the whatever you've got going on with Faye and what was her name? Gentlin or something? She's Genevieve. Genevieve, keep her name out of your mouth.

Whoa, okay. That only takes a low stand. She's playing the field. All right. So now that your eyes have moved on from the cash and the potions, you do finally see a few odd items strewn around the lower shelves. All right. So now that your eyes have moved on from the cash and the potions, you do finally see a few odd items

strewn around the lower shelves. Shoved aside by Bulric, refuse from a time he considers long dead. Kicked into a corner, you find a leather ledger bound with red thread. It is sodden from cave drip, but flipping through it. Does somebody want to give me a perception check? Desperately, I love sodden from cave drip, but flipping through it. Does somebody want to give me a perception check? Desperately, I love sodden things.

And I should help out. Water damage is beautiful to roll. Look over your shoulder. 18! Oh yeah! Oh, yes! All right. So these pages are soaked through

and all of the ink has run, but as you flip, the last page is still legible. Inside, written in a flowing but exact hand, is an inventory of material spell components. Spells? Components? 40 shards amber, 2 pounds diamond dust, 10 bolts fur. Items of incomparable value listed out like a manifest. And with your 18, you realize that indeed it could be. It looks as if their last known location is aboard a ship, a ship called the HMS Solstice. This must be someone's mixology journal.

When is this from? Does this seem as though it's from the mages' experience or does it seem as though it's from Bullric? HMS Solstice sounds like the age of stories. Yeah, and the flowing hand that it's all written in looks very similar to the hand of Hilda Garnet, like that flowing H on her signet ring. Amber and diamond dust and bolts of fur.

Material components needed for spells back when magic flowed through the earth. What was the destination of the HMS Solstice? That does not say. Also staring into this cavity, Boggy, you see a bow with no string slumped against the wall. Oh, look at that. Could use some good cow's gut,

but it's a fine bow nonetheless. That's what arrows. I don't know that reference. Oh, when you string a bow, you'll need some fine twine, an animal got you can do no better. Wow, boyers are sick fucks. Pardon the language. Oh, yes.

You're as crass as a yeoman, Wellie. You pick it up, you wet your thumb and clear away some of the dust, and you find the wood below is rich, gold and orange, like honey whiskey. This long bow is near as tall as you, full of knots like a meadow dotted with hills and stumps and the wood on the grip is dark as coal and worn smooth by the hand of another time. Wellie, bite this bow. I bite it.

Not a scratch. That's good wood. Can I release? I bet you I could break it. You'd have to take your helmet off first. Yeah, why don't you take a swing at this inanimate object? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would. Can I release? I bet you I could break it. You'd have to take your helmet off first. Yeah, why don't you take a swing at this inanimate object?

No, well, okay, we don't need to swing a sword at it, friends. It's just a simple, it's a little yeoman humor. Oh, yeoman humor, okay, I like that. Yeah, I think Boggy takes the old string off of his bow and then strings this one up and gives it a tug, gives it a pull. All right, very cool. We will resolve that later on.

Nice. Zudrik, as you're cracking up at Boggy's joke, you double over in laughter and you see pressing, pressing against the wall on a middle shelf, a pair of rusted gauntlets, their fingers curled like claws. Well, these things are just like new. I take mine off and throw these ones on

without checking for some reason. Slightly less rusted than yours somehow. Did I see his hands? Oh, wow. I guess, can we do slight of hand perception? We just saw you take a shit before, didn't we? Do we see your ass? Yeah, I guess can we do sleight of hand first perception? Yeah, we just saw you take a shit before didn't we do we see your ass? Yeah, I guess you turned away I was polite. I wouldn't I wouldn't stare directly. Oh my god. I did really well. I got an 18 perception Okay, okay. What's your sleight of hand? My sleight of hand was only a 13. Okay, so I will say that you see on My hands it looks like ink like tattoos or something Okay. So I will say that you see on my hands,

it looks like ink, like tattoos or something. Tattoos, okay. I file this away for later. I know that Zudrik is like a bird and I don't wanna startle him. Amazing. Zudrik, the gauntlets creak as you lift them, heavier than they look,

but you press your tattooed hand inside. They're lined with leather, cracked and brittle under your palms. There's no flash of magic, no hum of power as you open and close your fist, but they're steel and they fit. Hmm. All right, pretty good.

Any scorpions in those gloves? Hmm, if they are, they were really old and I crushed them to dust, so. Those things are alive, so I'm not afraid of them. Yes, whenever you put your boots on in the morning, you just do a good stomp down. It's not worth shaking the boots. Just kick them as you go.

Does it look like these weapons that they found are from the Age of Stories as well? Yes, to you, it looks like these are, especially like juxtaposed next to all of Bolryk's, like more modern additions to this cavity. These things look like they were left behind by Sir Hildegarnet and the solar knights. Maybe not of high import,

at least not enough to rush out of the castle with. And to Bulric, they're just relics from a time that he considers long gone. These are relics that cohabitated this world with the gods. Let's make some new stories with them, shall we? Yeah. And as you whisper that, Wellie, you see a small item wrapped in old sailcloth

tossed haphazardly on the lowest shelf. Sailcloth? I recognize that. I'm going to open it. Inside, you find a slender braided twig. Two sticks bound together, not by magic, just by nature. You run your hand across the wood. You can feel it's etched with delicate constellations, faint but clear.

Constellations? The sky? This twig? Is it some sort of sorcerer's wand? As you stare at this crisp little sprig, a note from inside the sailcloth tumbles to the floor. I pick up the note. You recognize the hand.

Sir Hilda. It reads, Unpredictable. Do not use. Unpredictable. Do not use. And yetredictable, do not use. And yet it is written in the hand of Ser Hilda, who I don't know if I trust her judgment. No.

Nothing to do, but I guess pocket this. Sometimes in the heat of battle, unpredictable is the best flavor of combat. Yeah, I'm gonna put it in the opposite pocket of William Schitt's. Oh, that's a good call. Yeah, smart. In the same pocket as William Schitt's. That's a good call. In the same pocket as the amethyst.

No, William Schitt's is humping the amethyst. Yeah, that's right, sorry. Humping is smooth. But I will put it in the same pocket as the saffron. I still do not trust William Schitt's, so we shouldn't let him have an unpredictable wand. Though I trust his integrity, I feel like he could hump it and accidentally use it.

He's just been going nuts on that amethyst for a long time. And I feel like you should have finished by now. It's honestly looking really good. He's taking his time. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. Actually, yeah, roll me a nature check. Let's see how good he's humped it. That's a five.

He's still warming up to ited it. That's a five. He's still warming up to it. Okay, it's tantric. It's tantric what he's doing in there. It's taking his time. Once this thing gets some frogs blue, John, it'll really shine. All right. So you guys put all of these items on your person.

Whether these are relics or debris from the Age of Stories is still unknown. All you know now is that they were dismissed, cast aside, meaningless to Bulric, but perhaps not to you. Now your eyes drift to the rear of the vault, the damp and dripping stone. As Faye told you, behind the wall is where the spill pipes run,

the old drainage system for the fort and its cistern below. There is no visible seam in the stone, no hatch or hinge, just rock, slick and worn. But if you wish to avoid the earthen path, the way into the depths is through the barrier. Okay. Wellie, do you think perhaps this is some sort of sorcerer's trick? Do we need to caress the rocks in such a way? It could just be the bricks could just be loose or something. I'm just going to go ahead and poke them all with my lance. Oh, very good.

Yeah, it does feel as though Zudrik's sword is the greatest defense against the sorcerer's tricks. Yeah, I'm just going to stand back 10 feet and freaking poke at every brick. Okay. A blade can unlock any key. Give me a poke attack. Oh, 19. Ooh me a poke attack. Oh, 19. Ooh, 19. Wow.

Wow, these new gloves, it just, you know, really you could just get the wrist into it, is the thing. You poke hard into a brick. You don't find a loose one, but you do notice with a 19 that it chips, and you feel like maybe if you just go ham on this wall, you might be able to knock it down.

All right, spin attack. Everyone freaking stand back. Yeah, I go freaking ham on it. Okay, give me another attack with advantage. Okay. Oh my God, awesome. 25 to hit. Oh my God.

You take a hit from your pipe, hold your breath, smash through the wall and exhale a plume of smoke as the rocks come tumbling down. You've broken through and you can easily pull the remaining chunks of the stone down to reveal the derelict chamber behind it. It is a chute streaked with grime and rife with clay piping clinging to the walls in jagged segments like broken teeth. All right, everyone hold your breath. Well, he complies.

How are you guys going down? It's narrow enough that only one person can go at a time. Well, let's toss a rock or something first to see if there's a sploosh. Let's do a sploosh check. Okay. Let's toss a rock, hook. All right if there's a sploosh. Let's do a sploosh check. That's a good call. Sure. Let's toss a rock. Hook. All right.

Wait, I was picking out the perfect rock. You don't want to waste a good one. We throw the shitty ones first. Okay, you throw an odd sized shitty rock. You hear it clang against the chute a second or two, and then it hits solid ground. Cool. I'm sorry, everyone. Cool. All right, everyone.

Okay, yeah, no, no, this is a good idea. This is a good idea. I'm just going to jump down the hole with my lance out to just absolutely obliterate anything or anyone that's at the bottom. Got it. Brilliant, he'll do double damage to whatever's down there.

Amazing. So Zudrik, you jump in through the crack in the vault into this narrow spill pipe. It's a vertical drop. The walls are slick with condensation and something grosser. It's a tight fit. You're in full armor. Eee!

Ow, ow! If you're deciding to hold yourself tight, you can jump the whole way down. You're gonna take some falling damage because it's about 25 feet. That's fine. Okay. So instead of stemming down slowly,

you tuck, plummet to the bottom, heavy with armor. I guess we didn't need the rock. Zudran! I land on top of the rock. Zudran! You land on the rock, twisting your ankle. As soon as I land, not on my feet, I just land in cannonball form with my lance.

And then I get up and I start swinging wildly into the dark. He landed tailbone first. You take four damage for rolling your ankle on the rock. And you find yourself swinging in a wider space, a catch basin, dank but open enough for you to at least, if not stand, crouch low. And this room is empty. Who'd you kill?

Nobody, my ankle a little bit, it freaking kills. That's why I should have taken the time to throw the perfect rock. It's true. I'm gonna toss a rope down. Oh, yeah. Sure, that's fine. Can I try to tie a rope to like something in this room

that looks sturdy or built into the ground or? Totally, there's like the ironwork dragon sconces or like the big hulking desk. I'll do the big hulking desk, like a leg of the big hulking desk. Oh nice, okay. Yeah, as you guys come down, it looks like this room's empty,

but just like any little standing pool of water, I wanna freaking stomp my lance on. I'm gonna keep swinging around doing soul caliber swings. I'm gonna knock into the wall. I'm just gonna kick in the darkness. This room is so tight. It's like four feet by three feet. I'm still going.

You're just going to town. Play on, play on. We've gotta get down there. You're just going to town. Play on, play on. We've got to get down there. He's slashing so much. As Wellie and Boggy try to rope themselves up and you just freak out in this tiny stone room, Zudrick, roll me a D6. Okay.

Is that how many puddles you absolutely destroyed? One. As you crouch and swing in this chamber, you feel something moving over your boots. Oh, there we go. Looking down, you see a mass of writhing centipedes and roaches gurgling up from the cracks in the floor like a tide surge.

Okay. Roll initiative. All right, are you guys regular roaches? Cause I don't have anything against you. Okay, 11. These guys got an 18. God damn it. These are regular roaches, but they are starving

and they do want to eat you. Okay. Did you say there's bugs down there, Zudrik? There's bugs, yeah. They're regular, but they're hungry. That seems casual. Sort of. You can handle that, right?

I just need another minute up here securing the ropes. I feel like the ropes are taking a while. It didn't hurt that bad for me to jump down here. What do you think, in half hitch, sheep shank? I feel like practicing something, a knot I haven't done before. Oh, go wild, Riley. Okay, the bugs are getting in the cracks in my armor.

Bucky and Wellie sit down on Bullric's bed to look at different knot types. As one of these centipedes crawls into your boot. Oh my God, it just crit on you. Jesus Christ, it's a swarm of insects. It actually kind of does a lot of damage. Okay, based on how much damage it does, I will do a utilitarian knot and then.

Have you ever heard of a slithering Jimmy? That's the knot for you, I think. Wow. Okay, didn't roll great. That's nine damage. Okay, ow. Yeah, that's so significant. Look, I have nothing against you guys.

You guys are just regular bugs, okay? If you wanted food, you could have just asked, like the birds do. All right, birds, let's go nuts. Ah! I call the birds down into the tunnel. That's awesome. Your murder of crows flaps around Bullwicks' chamber

and then dives down this chute, filling the room and going ham, the early bird getting the worms. Yeah. It just sounds like such a huge battle now, it's just me trying to get bugs out of my arm. Wait, is that good? I hear so many flapping of wings. I've got freaking ants in my pants.

Zedric and the crows flap around. That is your turn. Great, okay. Oh my God. I rolled so bad, 10. Does that hit bullets? Oh my God, it doesn't. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, we're gonna come down. We're gonna come down. You stab at them and they just spread out. They're wily. They're wily, they are dexterous, they're fast, they're fluid. Oh dear. That's Zedric's turn and Wellie and Boggy, now that you know that the situation is dire,

why don't you guys roll initiative? Okay. 21 for Wellie. Wow, great work. A yearning 20 for me. Okay, sweet. So that is the top of the order. That means Wellie, you're up first. You do that utilitarian knot once around nice and clean.

Even though I wanted to learn a slithering Jimmy, it's just not the moment. It takes five minutes to tie. You'll learn that one another time. Okay, so you wrap the rope around your waist and- Yeah, and then I sort of like go down like a fireman's pole. Okay. Maybe getting a little bit of rope burn.

Awesome. There must be giant black lace insects down there by the sounds of it. So you repel into this room full of Zudrik and crows and bugs. Then I'm gonna take out the Opal Sun Sword and use that for the first time. Oh, sick.

Awesome. A worthy enemy. Not 20! No! Nice! Fuck them bugs! Woo! That's so sick.

This room, pitch black, scrolling with dark crows and gleaming bugs. You draw the Opal Sun Sword, it glows against the odds, and you crack into these roaches. That's 23 damage. Holy fuck. And immediately after you score a critical hit

with a melee weapon, or reduce a creature to zero hit points, you can make one attack with the same weapon as a bonus action. So I will then try to attack again. You will be attacking a mess of dead bugs. You finished them with one swing. Okay, I think that I like wrap my leg around the rope.

I go down so fast that it like creates smoke. And like a fire almost starts and it definitely is like, hurts me but I'm pretending like it's okay. And then I just wanna stab down. Oh. Like a dagger on like'm pretending like it's okay. And then I just want to stab down. Like a dagger on like a desk. That's awesome. Ooh, and maybe as I'm going, the smoke almost like, it does almost create like a fire, like solar flares.

Fuck yeah it does. Fuck yeah it does. The embers from the rope burn, streaming off of your gloves, lighting the flame, and you decimate this swarm of insects. This chamber is clear. All right, Tabitha, Edgar, Sabrina, go ahead, go nuts. Eat them bugs. They're pretty charred, I bet they'll be tasty.

Hang on, Zodium, coming! Point me in the direction of this foul tarantula. Where is it? Where is this massive beast? Oh, be careful. I created so much fire that the rope kind of frayed and broke off halfway through. Boggy jumps down, twists his ankle as well.

The chamber is still, you guys aren't swinging. The bugs aren't moving. The birds still are of course going to town though. And as they clear out this chamber of the remaining dead insects ahead, you see the spill pipe bends sharply at an awkward angle. You'll have to press yourselves through inch by inch. The air is growing thick down here.

The wall's pressing in. After this fight, your gambesons are clinging with sweat. You know that once you go past this tight bend, you won't be able to turn back. Okay. No return. Do you feel up to it? Oh yeah, I'm so mad at Bolrick still.

I'm gonna kill that dude. Okay, okay. If my stinking corpse is left here in some pipe, it'll be after I murder that guy. Okay, let's do it. Yes, the scholar's flame must be extinguished. All right, I do the crawl version of my flying stab, which is just holding my lance forward with two hands

and just shimmying through. Okay, you worm crawl with like a lance as your head basically. And a bunch of birds around me. Do you ever feel like Zudrik has more unique animations than we do? The birds hop along the chute behind you as you wedge yourself into this constricting space,

stone pushing against you from all sides. You inch along the damp floor with your arms pinned, your lance shooting forward. Zudrik, you're inhaling the iron air with ragged breaths. Give me a dexterity check to squeeze your body around this curve. Maybe I shouldn't have gone first, huh? Oh yeah, that's a dirty 20.

Nice, amazing. So Zudrik, you ride through this passage, corkscrewing your shoulders, finally freeing your arms into the shaft beyond as you pull yourself through. This is the shoot continuing, but it widens out again, here enough to stand up. Don't worry, the shaft widens, everyone.

The shaft widens, I passed it back. The shaft widens ahead, it's long, but it widens. Boggy, I heard from Zujig ahead of me that the shaft widens. Many a maiden have heard me say that. I lie. All right, who's going next? I will go.

Can I give one help action with my lance? Just reach it out and try to tug him along. Oh, yeah. Your lance can't get fully around the curve, but if Wellie can get towards where the handle is, you can help pull her through. So Welly, you can make your decks check with advantage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace,

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You wedge yourself through your army crawling. You start to feel like you can't get any further, but you see the butt of Zudderich's lance and you grab hold and he yanks you through. Ah! Wow, like being born. Yes, a carnal canal. I don't remember being born, but yeah, I don't know.

You don't? Do you? No. Vivid memories. Really? Vivid, it's my first memory. Wow. It's my earliest memory. Yeah. It's my earliest memory.

Yeah. I don't remember anything inside the womb. Yeah, well that's, you know, that's, that tracks it normal. Let's get Bucky in here. I scramble to try to get Bucky in before Willy talks more about being born. Zedrick, realizing the small talk is getting too small,

moves forward and you put your lance back in towards the angle. Boggy, give me a dex check. All right, Boggy covers himself with the remaining bits of lube. Does a dex check. 15. 15 does it.

Woo! You space out thinking about the widening shaft and you almost forget to crawl. And then you grab onto Zudrick's lance and he pulls you to freedom. From here, now you guys are all in this widened chamber where the spill pipe angles down once more, just wide enough to crawl on hands and knees.

You slog forward, wincing from the stench that's rising from below. Oh, that's nasty. Oh, is it the freaking shit tub? What does it smell like? What is the stench? It smells like- Is it human refuse? Yeah, it's not literally excrement. It's kind of like, you know, an ancient sludge. It smells like, it smells like putrid rot. Okay. Then actually Welly likes it. Ah, the ender's been here.

Some people would like it. Yeah. Some people like it. Okay. Is the ender also- Not my favorite, but. Is the ender also the domain of the commode? I think so because it's beginnings and endings. True. That is where I do my best praying, I'll say.

Digestion. Good digestion humor. See, well, that's kind of crass, but that's my kind of crass. She's there to greet you at the end and you could be anything, you know? And what is the commode but the end of the meal? Well said. Yeah. Well said. I feel like we got there.

Bucky starts crying. Okay, I feel like the fumes are getting to us and we need to keep going. You guys are high on more than one thing. And now we need somebody to roll a D6 yet again, as you drag yourselves through this next stretch. One. Do you guys wanna fight the centipedes and roaches again?

That is a one. So as you crawl through this chamber, you feel something move under your hands. God damn it. Looking down, you see a mass of writhing centipedes and roaches gurgling up from the cracks. Zudrig, did you track these from the other room? Maybe, maybe they were in my boot.

Let's just hop over these and roll again. Yeah. Okay, okay. Okay, great. You pushed those bugs back's just hop over these and roll again. Yeah. Okay, okay. Okay, great. You pushed those bugs back into the cracks. Roll again. Six. Six.

As you are crawling forward, Wellie, you look down just for a second, just to catch your breath, and you notice a pale mucus-covered slug, the size of a small dog, inching across your hands. Now that you said size of a small dog, Welly thinks, another friend. And reaches out to pet it. I kill it so fast.

As soon as I see it. All right, the slug is blind, but sensitive to vibrations, but it seems like you guys, one tried to pet it and then tried to attack it. So we're all gonna roll initiative. Yes. So do it.

That'll make a fine pudding. Seven. 16. 24. It's kind of poetic that I rolled a seven because it's gonna take me, it's gonna take me your guys' turn to understand that it's not another friend.

I bowl welly over to kill this thing. I do another head to head tackle. I land hard on my pocket, the one that William Shitz is in. Oh no! Oh no! You can't narrate that! She landed on me. You cannot fucking narrate that!

You can't make that choice! That doesn't matter with you! That doesn't matter with you! You landed on the amethyst, please. Wow. Yeah, let's do a nature check and see if William Shits is okay. No! He's joking, it was a joke!

It was a joke! Oh, I rolled really poorly, I got a five. Oh my good Lord. He's okay, but he ribbits and he sounds really scared. He does like a yelp, like when you accidentally step on a dog's paw. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that was so sad.

It did more emotional damage to you, Willy, than actual damage to William Shitz. I hold an action to cry. Okay, that is Boggy's turn first. Oh, Boggy's gonna try out his new bow. I think he's gonna try and aim it right at the head of this slug to try and get it away from Wellie. Okay, you are on your hands and knees,

so if you're gonna shoot a bow, I think I would make you do it with disadvantage. Can't I grab it with my hands and then aim it? Oh, can I pull it back with my leg? What? Oh, like you're in, are you talking about using it like a roller? You're making me want to give you more disadvantage.

Like a roller? Yeah, can I fire a prone so I've got, I'm using one foot to hold the bow and then I'm pulling it back with my other foot. Totally, yeah. And I'm lying down. Sounds like disadvantage to me. Yeah, you can definitely,

you can do that with disadvantage, man. All right, right great. I'm gonna use a lucky to make it flat There you go. That's how we go toe to toe toe to bow Make him use his own bullshit for his bullshit This is how I sleep every night in the bog 14 14 believe it or not hits the slug covered in mucus. Yes! Boggy, like, folds his knee in. You hear so much popping as he does this move.

I don't think you're flexible. You're forcing it. Have you ever done this before? Many times! Feels like you're- Were you decades younger? Yeah, it feels like your bones are crying. Please, no.

It's been four to 17 years since I did this, but I remember it as it were yesterday. Boggy breaks his hip to shoot a bow with his toe. It hits, what's your damage against the slug? That's gonna be seven damage. Okay. And I'll make it a, you know what? I'll make it a trip attack, so I can add another D8 to that. Yes damage against the slug? That's gonna be seven damage. Okay. And I'll make it a, you know what? I'll make it a trip attack.

So I can add another D8 to that. Yes, trip the slug. Oh, all right. That's 12 damage total. And then the slug is gonna need to do a strength save. The slug has, what's his strength? God, he actually has a fucking, he has some good strength.

And that's an 18, That's a strong slug. Holy shit. We cannot trip. Yeah. We cannot trip anything. This like pool of mucus is corded with muscle. Wow. It does make sense.

Shit. And that is this yoked slug's turn. So after this arrow, like glints down the chute, narrowly avoiding everybody and going into the slug. This slug is basically on top of Wellie's hands, but you didn't attack it. How much movement does this thing have? I was actually hip checked out of the way

and Zudrick hip checked the side, the pocket. That was definitely true. Well, no, you added that. That was not a good spot. Zudrick hip checked aiming for Wellie's head. I did a head to head tackle. It was very safe. Okay, so this slug is right up next to Zudrik

and it's going to see if it can crawl through your armor and do some damage. And that is 21 to hit. Yeah. And it does eight damage to Zudrik. Okay, ow. These pipes suck. Zudrik.

The acid from the slugs by, starts to make your helm and your visor steam. Oh no. We'll need to cut that sack out before we boil it. The sorceress is cursed, it's angry. Yeah, right, what sorceress? Oh yeah, no, uh-huh. The purple sorceress he told me about.

Sure, yeah, I think so. Must've been the red one. Yeah, mm, yeah. Sudrick, that is your turn. Okay, all right. I'm tired of bugs and slugs. I'm gonna slug this slug. Okay, 19 to hit.

19 definitely hits. That is 16 damage. Zudrik, finish this strong slug. I just grab it in my mask, and I guess I'll kind of try out these new gauntlets. I'll say like I hit with my lance, but for kind of flavor, I would like to reach in with my new gauntlets

and just pop it. Oh! Oh my God, that's awesome. You little fucking shit. You squeeze this slug to death, it bursts in your hands. Your brand new rusted gauntlets are dripping with slug grime.

Zudrik, I don't think you were supposed to pet it. Ha ha ha! True, yeah. Oh, it's ruined. Help me gather this slime. What? No. For a pudding man. That is true.

I wonder if you could use the slime on your arrows. Oh, is there any acid left? Yeah, it did some acid damage. Will it just eat the arrows or could it potentially be amplify the arrows? I think it's cool. I would let it amplify the arrows. You guys want me to just touch your arrows?

Yeah, let me just dip my arrows in that. All right, go ahead. Yeah, just take the gunk and I just put it all over the arrows. Thanks, man. Okay. Zudrick lubes up the arrows with acid. And you guys continue.

You keep pulling yourselves along the shaft wide enough now that all of you can crouch side by side. And you finally come to the end of the passage and a sudden drop. There's a shift in the air here as you peer over the edge, slightly fresher, moving. You cast your torch over the vertical cliff and see only darkness. Okay, who's dropping this time? Do you want me to go?

Should we drop the torch this time? Oh, hang on. This is a, there's a shift in the air, right? Yeah. So it is possible that this is the path down here. We might jump down there and this might be where It is possible that this is the path down here. We might jump down there and this might be where Bolrik and the others are, where this connects to the other paths. Okay, should we blow out our torch and scale down?

Somebody hold onto my ankles. I hold onto. I'm going to sort of, I'm gonna half jump down and see if I can hear anything. Awesome, okay. Surprisingly light. You say someone hold hold on to my ankles as you start already peering over.

Well, he grabs her ankles just in time. Many a maiden has said that to me, Eli's again. As she lowers you into the shaft, you can't hear anything besides a steady drip, drip, drip of water. Oh. Hmm, what if that's black lace? We should be careful. OK.

All right. How about would you like me to kind of sidle along the wall, and perhaps I can give a signal to everyone if it's clear? Yeah, we should do the old, why don't we do sort of a Mission Impossible 1 style wire down. We could do that. Do we want Boggy to shoot a flaming arrow to try to illuminate?

I worry that we would alert anyone further down the passage though. That's really fair. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's do it. Can we do the rope idea? Let's do the rope idea. All right. Who wants to be, I'm, you know. I can go first. Okay, great. Yeah.

Do you have any practice with aerial yoga? I wish. No, no. Don't make her think about aerial yoga, please. Because if I had gone to an aerial yoga class. Let's No, no. Don't make her think about aerial yoga, please. If I had gone to an aerial yoga class. Let's go ahead and tie that rope up. I'm afraid. I'm afraid.

Yeah, no, we know, we know. Let's go ahead. I tie a quick rope around Wellie and just push her down. Wellie stares off into the distance. Yeah. I just toss Wellie down into the hole. All you hear is Wellie's ragged breath as she stares into the distance and you push

her over the edge once she's secure. How tight would you like the knots Wellie? Tight. Yeah, no, we're just gonna do them regular. We're just gonna do them regular. Boggy pulls the knot tight, your breath catches. Crazy you say that because Lady Genevieve actually hosted an aerial yoga class. Really?

Yeah, she was a teacher. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just crazy. It's really crazy that you brought that up. Yeah, I don't know. Boggy. I find it crazy.

Boggy, she probably be getting down there all the time. And what was she wearing in the yoga class? No, that's not, why? Why are we? she should probably be getting down there. And what was she wearing in the yoga class? No, that's not, why? Why are we? You know, Boggy, I never allowed myself the indulgence of attending, but I can imagine. Come on, man. Oh, I can imagine.

I start pacing like a villain. This is not the time. This is not the time. This is frankly not the time. All right, all right. Yeah, I'm going to toss the rope over, like a like I'll try and like get it over like a root or something so we can like pull her down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she needs to be like lowered. Okay, cool. Yeah, there's like, you know, there's remnants of piping attached to the wall. You can find something to secure her and get some leverage as you lower her down. Wellie, your shortness of breath starts to come back to you as you lower down, rappelling into the depths. I think the threat of death shakes me back to myself.

Yeah. Oh, right. This is more pressing. Okay. Against the ropes as she practiced arrow yoga. Sorry, okay, okay, yeah. The rope bites into your skin, waking you up. As it stretches down into the dark.

You repel into the depths, gliding past pitted walls with calcified deposits after about 60 feet. You can't see much down here, but you've gotten close enough that you see a body of murky water below you. You are breaking free of the chute into a wide, low arched tunnel.

The dark water below you is moving slowly through this tunnel like a river. Okay, I'm going to drop a really pretty pebble that I found into the water to see if I can gauge the depth of the water. You toss a pebble, ka-plunk and crack. Okay, so it's not too deep. Exactly, you get the sense that it's not too deep.

I wanna try to listen to see if I hear any bows being drawn and maybe also listen to the water to see if it sounds like a natural body of water. Do you wanna go ahead and scoop some of that in a vial and then we could reel you back up and look at it under some torchlight? That's great, okay. So then I'm gonna try to take one of our empty vials

from our botched plan and scoop the vial in to take a sample and then I'm gonna try to go back up. Okay, Mission Impossible style, you are completely suspended, horizontal over this body of water. You dip the vial in so gingerly, avoiding any of the water touching your hand. You collected this sample.

Okay. I tug at the rope to bring me back up. A bead of sweat forms on your head and almost falls into the water. You catch it just before. Oh no. Oh no. Zudrick, did you know that 90% of the silks that the Duke of Silk exports are from yoga silks?

Lily, are you done? I tug on the rope again. Yeah, I yanked Lily up. God, what a score that would be. Can you imagine, man? Yeah, I don't know. We could feast for days off of a bushel of silks. I've got the sample.

I hold up the vial to the torch. Okay, yeah, what do we got here? Okay, you guys can give me an investigation check with advantage. Nat 20. Yeah! Without even advantage. Fuck yeah.

Okay, well with the Nat 20, you can see this is murky, putrid water, but it is not black lace. This is not the pool below that the scared ones have spoken of. Regular shit water, got it. It's an underground stream and it's not black lace. This is not the pool below that the scared ones have spoken of. Regular shit water, got it. It's an underground stream and it's not that deep.

I think we can wade through it. Let's go walk through. All right. So you guys are all going to rappel down here? Yeah. Yeah, let's rappel down. And you know what? I'm sick of getting attacked by bugs.

I'm sick of getting attacked by slugs. Yeah, I can see that. Bugs and slugs, yeah. Let's go ahead and we're gonna take a rope. I'm gonna take something that we have, some kind of tarp or tent or something. I would like to- I have a tent.

Yes, all right. Mildewed velour. Great, I start ripping it apart. Oh, that's right, caked in deer blood. Yeah. Caked in deer blood. I start taking it apart and try to fashion like a makeshift net. And then I would like to have us walk on both sides of the tunnel, just wading through to

see if we catch anything and then just freak out on it. Oh, Sutric, this isn't the time to go fishing. Baki's really gotten under your skin. It's always the time to go fishing when they're freaking fishing us. We call this a gator-gitter. Oh, okay. Okay, everybody give me dex checks as you repel down.

10. Also 10. 16. Wow, okay. The two 10s, you guys are repelling, you start to move a little too fast. Give me dex saves. So you don't splash into the water below.

You know what? I might tactical mind. I'm gonna tactical mind it. Okay, I will actually also tactical mind. 13. I got a 14. Okay, great. You guys start rappelling down the ropes moving fast,

but you bite your hands into it, slowing your fall, and all three of you land one by one in knee deep, cold current. And you're fashioning a dragnet, right, Cedric? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you've taken Wellie's tent, you've stretched it across the tunnel

and you're dragging along this river. I'm gonna need Murph to give me one final D6 roll. Okay. Three. Ooh, three. This is a good one. For you or us? For you guys.

Whoa, it's McDonald's. Ooh. I just went you and McDonald's. The McRib is back. That's two weeks in a row. Wow, it's not affected at all by being in the sewer. It looks exactly the same. What does this say about their ingredients?

It's a stock photo JPEG of McDonald's right on the ground. The one connection point between our worlds. As you're dragging this old velour sleep sack through the tunnel, you feel it pick up something, something weighty is in your makeshift dragnet. Wrap the net around it. Get the biggest watch you can, biggest watch you can.

Just start stabbing furiously into it. Say it first, no, say it first. What if it's a friend? There are no friends in the deep. Except for Lila. Oh my God, did I kill Lila? I started going through the water. You stab into your dragnet, into an inanimate object.

Oh my god, no, my enemy. Oh, but it's an inanimate object, you won't be able to hit it. Wellie! Okay, there's rassing your friends, and then there's a little too much, huh? Okay, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Fuck. Zudrik, she's a crass rasser, man. You gotta get used to it, bud. Shoot, I'm sorry. Yeah, we'll talk about it later. As Wellie apologizes, this object starts floating away from you down the river. I freaking chase it and I tackle it.

Okay. Zudrik chases it down, tackles it, and you find a sodden age old satchel. Ooh. Oh, we caught a bag. I turn it around and dump it. What's in it? You turn it over, dumping it into this murky river.

The satchel is something that was worn by an early inhabitant of the Dawnhold, someone who helped construct this lower passage. So tumbling out of this satchel, you see a cracked pair of goggles, you see a torn cloak, partially because you did a lot of stabbing of the satchel. Yeah, sure.

And then one hard item falls out and plunks to the bottom of this little river. Oh, freaking fish for the hard item. You fish for the hard item, you spring your hand up, holding a steel ring with a turquoise stone in the band. Whoa. Anything inscripted inside? You turn it over, there's nothing inscripted inside.

Do we imagine this might be one of the other Solar Knights possessions? I think so. This sodden satchel seems to come from their era. Perhaps one of the Solar Knights was also an architect of some... Well, it seemed like the stones were just important for magic. Everyone try something on and let's see if there's any lingering magic. I can't wear the goggles over my helmet. That would look dumb, unless it looked awesome. Cedric, Cedric holds his arms and sees

if anyone suggests that he wears them. Cedric, do you want the goggles? I could try them on, I guess, if you guys think that would be, if it would look cool. I think it would look really cool. Okay, I'll try them on. Do they look cool?

You pick up this cracked pair of goggles, steel rimmed, the leather headband they're attached to is so stiff and you use all of your might to yank it over your head. Oh. Over your face mask. You pull it over your eye visor. They're, you know, they're clouded, they're dirty, they're cracked, but these are dark vision goggles.

Maybe not worn by a solar night, but just by a maintenance worker. They used magic for everything in the age of stories. So you can imagine anybody, just any everyday workman down here would have things to help and protect them as they did their job. The steel ring, perhaps it's turquoise.

Maybe it has turquoise colored snakes sitting inside it. I put it on and tried to blast a snake from it. What? You put it on and you punch the air. Snake release. And you punch so hard that you trip and fall into the river. And you realize as you're floating there, that you feel very invigorated, capable,

like you could swim for miles. This is a ring of swimming. Ah! Ah! And then I, as I said before, I love sod and water damaged things, so I'll take this cloak and throw it over my shoulders and then try to swim.

I feel like this stuff's going to be different. Don't forget to yell snake release. Yeah. Snake release and then do a swimmer's dive into the needy. It's so, it's so naughty. So, well, he puts on this soaking wet rotten cloak, yells snake release and dives forward.

Ow, I hit the rocks immediately. You do, you hit the rocks immediately against your knees and elbows and your wrists, but you find that you're wearing a cloak of protection and the plus one it offers to your AC prevented you from smashing yourself against the rock. Ooh. That's crazy.

I'll do some breaststroke, sorry, cheststroke. Do we have, what is everyone's AC? 16. 16. Mine is 17, so one of you should wear this cloak of protection. Does anyone wanna wear a cloak? Should we have a quick wrestle for it? Yeah, I think you should wrestle.

I mean, I'm just gonna use my sword if you guys try to mess around with me. Okay, so you don't want it. No, I'll take it. I just don't want to wrestle for it. I'm just being disagreeable. I'll trade you the goggles for it, I guess, if you think you would be better served with you.

Although it's actually a good idea for one of you all to have better AC because I'm pretty meaty. Oh, that's right. And you have the least hit points let's give or I mean only if you wanted of course. I don't know how a cloak over a cloak would look would it look cool? Oh um. Well goggles over a helmet looks cool we've decided this. True we're making some fashion discoveries here. You know what let's try it. Stuff on stuff. Snake release

let's do this. Boggy's new catch phrase. And then Boggy, that means that Willie gets the ring. Fine. No, I actually already have a ring that I was gifted from Timo. So you can keep both. No, but it's, we're supposed to, look, the fashion statement of our crew right now

is that we have multiple of the same stuff. We wear stuff on our stuff. We're doubling up. So you have multiple rings. If I'm being honest, I do wanna be a ring person. You did kind of dive right into the water and feel a lot safer around you if you could swim really good.

Yeah, you're right. Okay, give me the ring. There you go. I quickly try to pry the gym out of it. I'm gonna put the ring on the same finger as the other ring. Wow, okay, yeah. Willie stacks her rings, Boggy double cloaks,

and Zudrick has goggles on a hat. Yeah, I'm like a Snyder Batman right now. Yes, yes you are. And as you guys double gear up and stand in this freezing current, you look ahead, off in the distance, you see a flicker of orange torchlight spilling through a grate.

Then voices carrying from beyond, a croaking discordant chant. The monks are gathering for the ritual. Oh no. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh no. We're coming. We're gonna kill those freaking guys.

It's finally gonna happen. Snake release. Snake release maybe. We're double cloaked, can't fuck with us. Right on. Snake release guys. We will talk more about this over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod.

That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D, don't sing yet. In the meantime, we've got some stuff to plug. We've got Dimension 20 shows coming up, specifically on June 1st. We're gonna be at the Hollywood Bowl. That one's coming up soon, so get tickets for that. We're also gonna be on July 20th. We're gonna be in Seattle, and in November, we're gonna be in Las Vegas. So search Dimension 20 Live and check those shows out. Yeah.

I got a sub stack, check it out. It's over at substack.com slash at Jake Hurwitz. Wow. Every time you plug it, I'm like, I gotta do a sub stack. I wanna do a sub stack. Maybe this is the week. And maybe, probably not. It's probably not this week,

but it's gonna keep happening. It'll be soon. We'll do a double sub stack plug. I can't wait. Double sub, double clo do a double sub stack plug Double cloaked in double sub snake release And you can follow us on social media that we remember that use at C's first me at call this cuddle at a extra Demoli at Jake Rich's Jake and you can talk about the show online using hashtag an ad pod. That's any DD pod We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation.

Would you believe it? It's time to thank our benevolent council of elders. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later, McSkater, Matt M. Cutter, W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Danielle, the dastardly dame. Carpe Liam. Victor T. Balnor's boy. Hoyt's friend, Justin I. Danny Danster. TJ M. Trelau, the cray. Christopher B.

Damiel R. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Targot. Stevie Wags. Hellish Rebukeur, the NBDM PhD. Alright! Princess Yar Jori S. Jack L. Stevie Wags. Hellish Rebuke-er. The NBDM PhD. Alright. Princess Yar Jori S. Jack L. Nicholas C.

Star of every film ever made in Bohemia. Mike Hightower. Alka Smeltzer Plus. Great Value Gemma. Tyler F. Carboro Chapel Hill FPV. Cici Lulu. Ol' Cobb's Dunkel.

Older Burn. Hercules Poirot. The Rabbit Folk Detective. Timmy R. Rayco, Jake's jerk jelly, hashtag CCC. Taylor B, insert rants, oh, huh, huh, laugh here. Cass, strong Grinch. Steven, shout out to Bowie, the troll, C. Mike K, Nick W, William W, Big Bad Beardo, the mad. Eric McD, Anorama.

Percival, Fredrickstein, Van Mussel, Klawowski, DeRolo, The Third, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the Cock, Pithy, Witch, Ben A, Dave H, Not That Nick, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Book Vars Assistant, Izzy F, DPC, Is Awesome, Sean, The Shade Tree Mechanic of Zelbaldar. Summer RG. Mark, the Dark Lord's taint. Kat C, Mesa of House Inzunza. Ariel, the occasional mermaid. Selena N, AKA Velaisey Raptor.

Bperky, always. Pat L, Lauren H. Serve, 16. Annie, the Feywild therapist. Perroki, frenzy. Connor, savage. Salil, Bioquart, seven. Amber, dexti Frenzy, Connor Savage, Salil Bioquart 7, Amber Dextrous,

Trub Hop Dropper, Jack H, King of the Mole People under Iron Deep, Dressed in Blue and Fighting His Way Through a Bracket Style Tournament, Vailen Paj, the Bitchin' Bunny Bard, Druidic Peyton,

Carlin C, Noah the Bullywog Boy, Hashtag Honor the Cock, James G, Everything Bago the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey. Reverend Chatterbones. Hung. Eric B. Marcos learns the balance druid. Frida M. Maggie. Holly the green laughing hyena. Cal misses the D5s with all her heart. Aaron B. Russell

H. a monk named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, every time. Cody C. McKenna Stout. Your friendly neighborhood, Yont and Yonkel, Andrew and Sid. John Adams, we can be done with presidential puns. Meg, the mail carrier of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfarer.

Now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them, turn to page 42. Keep them, turn to page 69. Keep them, turn to page 69. Oreo, Shane C, Barpo, Good Barrel, Bard, Barian. Garrett G, One Big Curd, Charlie Brown's best friend, Renee, the Monster Captain, Olivia, the Enchanting Bard, and Jared, the soap opera cleric who will be auditioning for Callie's acting troupe.

Blue, Ash, Fico, Garrett the artificer, Damon, son of that one merchant named John, Valkyrie, the Gert C. brother, Anthony, the raddest of dudes, Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi loves the two crew and we love you.

MJ, the BFG, Roger L. NoDrog, the pass a fist barbarian. Gianluca, Leon K, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign. Shenanigans, O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S. Alexander, Linz W, Skyler King, Johnny Dude K, the mischievous Nad Pod Familiars, Pabu Eskinoor, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile,

Kit and their cat, Tim M, T, R, M, L, G, Cheeto, Shel B, Kenna's first favorite sprite girl torn between never wanting Skaldovich and an excitement for Dunkle and Triplets to return. Hell yeah. Snailis who's infecting Worcestershire for within. Durr, Synegrade, Knocin, of course. Pawpaw, Skydays, Mee-Maw, Skydays, Megan, N. Kasson, The Jester, Jouster. Anthony B.

Savannah H. Balnor's best friend, Steve. Stephanie of House Inzunza, Benjamin A. Gimli the Corky, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend, Mickle A, Josh Hole, pilot of the Nightmare Verse flight, the two crew blew through, Jennery, Kelsey A, Ethan the mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Ashasaurus, Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose accidental sharer of recipes,

Michael L.S. the Second. Carl B. Plumber of the Realm. Dex Riddlewell. Hannah A. AceDrags. Highlord of Critsburg. Darius D. The Guy from That One Thing. Vin Diagram. Catamilius the Consumed.

Clinton P. Cam the Frogman. Dean. Jake W. Hi Mom. Tuesday Cross. The Choose Your Own Adventure Writer. Not the Porn Star. Steve L. Tyler McM. Alex G. Tuesday Cross, the choose your own adventure writer, not the porn star. Steve L, Tyler Mcm, Alex G, Zibby DeBakery, Kaylee of the Order of the Oak and Ore.

Katarina C, Misty the Crispy Kitty really hates flame skulls. Greg W, who's Sader Bard whisker is basically a crick elf. Baruk Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Chewback Aubrey, Bony is Dead, Kion P, the Duke of Silks missing son. The Waterworth, Nick, Amy, Agus K, Ignition Class, Pedal Storm. Charlamagne, Not the God, DJ Dramamine, Alrek Von Zarovich, my favorite patron makes me say penis on my show.

And of course, Jessica with a G. Thank you, everybody.