Not Another D&D Podcast - The Tortle Tank: Homebrew Review! (w/ Jasper William Cartwright)

Episode Date: August 5, 2022

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where four flippered financiers review your D&D homebrew and decide if they want to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Tortles, as well as shellebrity guest, Jasper William Cartwright (3 Black Halflings), take a look at crit-inducing coins, initiative hacks and one confusingly stealthy puppet. Let's dive right in!Production and Editing by Trevor LyonListen and subscribe to 3 Black Halflings! - https://linktr.ee/TBHalflingsAnd support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is Flash! We've got cash! Oh, there we go! Once upon a time, we were just right to you. I see. But then all shell-broke-loos, let me introduce you to our talented tank of Tortals. They are Brian Murphy, the no-chortles-tortal. Hey, I'm not here to chortle.

Emily Axford, the epitome of tortootude. I'm gonna need you to show me on that one. Oh no. Called well Tanner, the Tertus who puts fun furthest. Let's take this tarot pin for a tarot spin. Oh no. And our celebrity guest Jas, William Cartwright. I flip it, I'll take it.

The soft shell, total Jasper mentioned. And I, of course, am your hero in a half scale. I'm your business liaison, your strategic partner, representing your interests in the tank. So here's how the show is going to work. We are going to hear your pitches from players and DMs with unique home-brew ideas. And it's up to our wise turtles

to decide if they're worth incorporating or in the parlance of this show if the ideas quote work for our eggs. If I can just drop the tortoise to for one second and just say, ask ask Emily not us the business woman at business turtle. Ask Emily I'm feeling very excited and inspired to hear people's ideas. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I'm also inspired by all the all the turtle puns. The turtle pivot was good. I want you to picture like me as a turtis in like a beautiful pond and I'm a little shy I'm a little bashful, but my head's poking out of the water. Wow. I'm excited to see what people have brought me. Oh I'm a sharky turtle. I'm here to be hard on your ideas. Oh Yeah, that's a turtle. That's what I'm coming in. I'm not here to turtle. Yeah, yeah, right

You're a snapping turtle. Okay, or a turtle I should say. All right, the first idea comes from Tom A. Tom writes, hello, turtles. For your delicious eggs, I would like to pitch the homebrew item I like to put in all of my games, the coin of certainty. With this coin, you can replace any D20 roll with a coin flip once. On a heads, treat the roll as a 20,

and on a tails, you treat the roll as a one. I think it's a really fun item, but my players never use it because they feel it needs to be saved for the right moment, a moment that never comes. Do you believe this is a good item to throw in the world or can it be improved? Immediately, I'm like, I love the name.

And then when you say my players aren't using it I'm realizing that it is a tough thing to go from well I've got a 5% of a net one to a 50% of chance of a net one. Right. Especially for like they're saving it for like that big moment I kind of feel like that's I feel like that's the opposite of what I do if I had it. I feel like I'd use it for like, hey, I'm trying to like get some free stuff at like the shop. Yeah. That's like the perfect time to use it. I feel like there's no way I'd be like,

okay, this is the final blow on the dragon. If we fail, we're all dead. Yeah. Screw it. Like there's so much more likelihood that if you just take a role, especially if you're adding something to it, you'll succeed versus the coin. So I feel like maybe the players need to chill on when to use it.

Use it as a practice time. Yeah, use it when you're trying to talk to a guard who's going to let you into a storeroom or something. Yeah. Or perhaps the coin of certainty would it possibly be more fun for the players to impose on a bad guy? Like if they can smell on a bad guy so that they suddenly know that well, no because 50% chance of failing. They could create on you. They could.

Yeah, and I was also thinking that as you get higher your spell saves get harder to be. Yeah, I'm with our celebrity guest here. Certainly. I think that this is gonna be used for like middling situations. Yeah, I think that that's where it's gonna be fun. Yeah, cause that's where those middling situations are where it's so fun to be like,

oh, I absolutely nailed an interaction with a random NPC or I absolutely fumbled interaction with a random NPC or I absolutely fumbled it. Totally. Or even like if you wanna do like a luck check at some point and you wanna either make it a 20 or a one. Yeah, go full gambling with it and make it a coin. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of fun

like, yeah, like Tavan uses of this. Do you know what I mean? I feel like this is definitely quite fun. If you're having one of those kind of silly sessions where you're just playing around in a tavern and whatever, that's like, okay, if a little coin if you get completely smashed or something, right?

And if you get like a nat 20, you can just like drink like your way through the bar and feel nothing on a one, you're gonna flout and you're gonna be so hungover tomorrow. That seems like a really fun use. You're gonna wanna say this coin for when your DM text you and says, guys, this is gonna be so hung over tomorrow. That seems like a really fun use. You're gonna wanna save this coin for when your DM text you and says, guys, this is gonna be a silly session.

Yeah, exactly. We're gonna get a little loose. Yeah. I feel like I'm hung up on the fact that this has been market tested. This is in beta at a table and it's not used. It's not working. And it's not working.

Do you think it has something to do with the fact that it's like a one use thing? I wonder if you added like a recharge is after like one D6 days or something like that. So it feels less precious if that would help. Do you know when the moment would be to use this when there is like a really, really hard save, right? And actually it increases your odds to be 50%.

Honestly, it's not overpowered. It can honestly probably recharge every day. Yeah, I don't think it's overpowered. Yeah, I think if you had a recharge on this, I might be willing to put some eggs on the table. But like if someone has plus two to con, and it's an 18 con save, then having a one in right might be better,

is that, is that math correct? Yeah. That's such fear, such fear in her eyes. Of course, the math is bulletproof. Yes, the math checks out. No one at home fucking bother. We know what we're talking about. Yeah, don't look.

I'm gonna go ahead and freeze my eggs on this one. Yeah. Okay, okay, but hey, here's my question before I put any eggs on the table. What in the like one in one billion chance that you make a mad trick shot and the coin lands on its side, like on its actual side? Oh, I think it's zero. Yeah, the Jasper, I'm not even gonna answer that, called well asked question.

No, hear about, you're on. You're on a celebrity guest. I only felt comfortable asking that question because cold well is here. That's the only way I felt comfortable. Look. Lance on its side, that's obviously a wish bell, my friends. Okay, cool.

That's the big thing. It all my ex. I'm kind of with Jake here. I think this has already been kind of tested. I also agree with the celebrity guest. I think this is only going to kind of with Jake here. I think this has already been kind of tested. I also agree with the celebrity guest. I think this is only gonna kind of work for like middleing situations, which is gonna kind of take away

from being a drama that you're looking for. I think if you want to use it in your game, you have to keep an eye out for a moment where someone's like, fuck, I need to get an 18 or higher to pass. That's true. In which case you can be like, or you could use the coin,

but I think that's gonna be on your shoulders, because I don't know that it will be on their minds. Totally. Yeah. I'd love to throw one more scenario out for this, because I think this is where I would be willing to put some eggs on the table. Does it have to do with how the coin lands?

Okay, so listen, if the coin has a look, okay, so is everyone played Fallout, the game Fallout, like the survival, there's a good thing, like mysterious stranger in that, where like a random dude shows up and does loads of damage for you. I kind of love the idea of like this being like a random, like a demonic creature or something turns up,

like a really pivotal moment and just goes, here you go, you could use the coin if you want to. I just feel like that feels like quite a fun. You know what I mean? But this creature appears out of nowhere, like occasionally at a random moment, the DM can decide and be like flip the coin, and it would be like even more than just a success.

It'll be an outright win if you succeed, but you will utterly fail and maybe a part of your soul goes to hell. I just think it'll be kind of fun. We talked about this before. If you add the word devil to anything, it makes it a much cooler proposition. This second TSA devil, I hear some heavy metal in my head. It could also just be a fun summon that you like summon a creature that doesn't roll a

D20, it only flips a coin for every attack. Just imagining a final fantasy summon just a demon flies in and just flips a coin and then leaves if he gets a one. You have to get heads heads heads. The same thing you get tails. A freak just got his fucking card in the left. I see leaves. That was a full level spell to summon that thing.

All right, I do get this work for anyone's eggs. I think this is a fun idea, but not for an after- My eggs are on ice. Yeah. I'm gonna put in some eggs, because as I was mentioned before, this could be fun for a silly session, and I'm not immune to having a little silly time at the table. So I'm gonna put some eggs in, pick myself up a little coin. Devils may or may not be attached, we're waiting to see. Well, just Jasper or Jake on it because you guys can out bid called well.

Yeah, yeah. How many eggs did you put on the table? Well, I need to know the figure here. Out of my infinite supply of eggs. Yeah, we have an infinite supply, just dear listeners. Well, I'm gonna honor the coin flip. Actually, yeah, hold on. I'll honor the coin flip, and that will determine how many eggs I put down. It's either two or a million eggs. Okay.

Oh my god, I landed on its side. Zero eggs, I'm out. Yeah. I landed on its side and it's somebody to devil. She's the devil's real. I need to go. I need to go get my child. Called was just furiously looking for a coin.

There's lots of things that have 50-50 odds. He's looking at a bookshelf right now. I have so many f***ing knickknacks back here. I have no coins. Are you sure you want to commit to the bit? Oh, that's true. Oh, that really can be. He walked away. He flipped like a car. You know, I think this this bit isn't worth my investment. Does that make it? I'm not. Yeah, I don't want to put my eggs in this bit.

He's my eggs on this bit. Also, this is all he's he is left to the room. He's not there. Zoom is empty So that he can decide how many fake eggs he uses. Sitting back down, putting the air pods in, here we go. And he can't find a coin. Could you even find a coin? Yeah, okay. All right, so we'll probably want to like cut right here

and then say like, oh, I picked up a coin. It's all gold, dude. No, no, no, no, no. What do you mean? I was gone for like three minutes. Yeah. We know. Okay, so we got, heads will be $2 or two eggs

and then tails will be a million eggs. Coleswell's investing real money now. We are really holding audiences and all of this one. Great. I'm all in this one. It's tails, it's a million eggs. Awesome. Jasper, would you like to put in two million?

Or I absolutely cannot go higher than 99,999. So I'm out. Jasper had a number of eggs that he knew. And for me, the coin of certainty, actually the name, I bristle at the name because it's still a coin flip. There's nothing certain about it. There's nothing 50 shots. Oh, you're so, but it's more certainty.

Like I said, in a situation where you're like, I need an 18 to pass. Yeah, it's a coin of certainty. Well, it becomes more certainty. It's certainly a stream. It's certainly going to give you a one or a 20. It's certainly a coin. I can't have the public poking holes in my branding

and for that reason my eggs are on ice. So called right. All right. This is all yours. Let me just check my tank account real quick. Oh fuck. Oh fuck, that was a lot of my eggs. Yeah.

You didn't have infinite eggs. You had a million eggs in your I bluffed. That was bluffing. All right, let's move on. Our next hatchling, Diego J. writes, good afternoon to the powerful and imposing turtles and the sultry voluptuous turtle bait lift I'm not. It's absolutely mixing the show.

I'm just imagining a turtle with an ass now, like just like a cute little cheeks in the back or something. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's total bailiff. So, like it's going on. Fan artist, get to work.

You can establish. We got hot amp, Vivians, we got hot reptiles now. Sexy, total with handcuffs. Guys, someone who went to the reptile super show, I am gonna say yeah. You canile Super Show. I am gonna say, yeah. You can vouch. Yeah, I'm gonna vouch on that.

I'll put my eggs in that basket. Okay, hot totals, a million eggs, let's go. Is there just a sign when you go to the Reptile Super Show that's like hot reptiles this way? No, they just are all wearing nipple tassels. Every search. They're all hot. Even the all wearing nipple tassels. Every search. They're all hot. Just even the nace, it makes it hard to slither.

It'll fuck around with ugly reptiles. Okay, Baylor, please continue. He's not the Baylor. Thank you. I recently developed a way to speed things up in battles with multiple PCs shared initiative. Basically, players who roll next to each other will essentially go at the same time and have a few seconds to strategize before ultimately deciding in what order to attack and come up with cool strategies for their initiative group. I tried it and it led to some pretty fluid combat

and less downtime, which is something that really makes large group combat drag for me. I'm seeing to sell 100% of my idea for 100,000 gold and then retire in a spooky abandoned mansion, also Jasper, come on you gunners. Yes! All of my eggs immediately, all of my eggs. I'll be honest, I like to the idea that I'm all of my eggs. Diego's pandering, I like the idea that I'm all of my ex. I'm a pro. Diego's pandering. I'm not about that. So I've shelled turtle. A good pander, a good pitch.

I can't help but get invested in the story of you're gonna retire to a spooky mansion. I love someone who just wants to come up with one idea and then retire. You may have won over the other turtles, but the no-chortle turtle has some questions. Oh, he's frowning. I'm just saying, what do you do?

Okay, when you start a fight, and you're at the tavern, you find out that the mysterious cloaked individual that you're there to find is actually a demon throws the knife and then roll initiative, and you don't get that kind of moment of people not knowing what to do. you don't get that moment of like, oh shit, this person acts first.

Are they gonna jump in front of the night, are they gonna? Well, it sounds like they are in initiative groups, right? So it sounds like there actually is still limitation from my understanding of the pitch. It sounds like if someone's 16 and 18, they are an initiative group. If someone's two and four, they are an initiative group. If someone's two and four, they might be an initiative group.

So it sounds like there might still be. The Torto-to-toe turtle has the right of it. It is that correct, yeah. I'm trying to parse out, you know? Interesting. And I guess if someone's caught off by a bad guy, they're probably in their own initiative still, right? Like if you go to bad guys either side of you, you're probably still in your own initiative, which right? Like if you've got two bad guys either side of you,

you're probably still in your own initiative, which might infuse. Interesting. You know, that might even feel like leads to some interesting stuff. It's like a bracketing. The thing that this makes me curious about how fun it could be is, you know,

if you were strict about this, right? You couldn't be too lenient. If someone's 17 and the other person's 18, and then essentially they could be doing their turn at one point, it might be fun to see how people might combo their bonus actions and actions with each other. Yeah. I have no clue.

I haven't thought about it, but I'm like, oh, that could be really interesting. The tag team aspect of it is what got me to go. It is really charming. I mean, that is cool. That is our first Capcom vibes. What, yeah. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

It's a good thing. Okay. It's a very good thing. Because also I'm thinking like what combat does is it often brings a group together. It often like, if you're starting out not knowing each other, combat is usually the first bonding experience. And so the idea that then suddenly you're pairing different

groups of people per combat, everyone will have kind of a unique experience to be like, we're fighting together this time. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Like, I could picture a barbarian trying to like grapple the opponent so that like the wizard could get some real easy fireballs off on them or something like that. There's it really ratchets up the teamwork. Yeah. Well, the barbarian would then also take the fireball. That's why it really ratchets up the teamwork. Well, the Barbarian would then also take the fireball.

That's why it really ratchets up the teamwork. I think he like, oh, there's like some, an oil lamp or a barrel of something that the Barbarian jeets over at the enemy as the wizard shoots like a fireball. Yeah. You know what I mean? I feel like that could get real fun.

And not only that, I feel like then you could really sit down and have a conversation about how you level up and be like, oh, if you take this, we could only mean combo in certain ways. Yeah, I've got to know, I really dig this. I think it could add some really exciting levels, especially for maybe some of your experience players. Because I think when you get to really

experienced point, combat can very much be like, I have all of these set moves, which I do like every time kind of thing, and I think it can very quickly become this thing, whereas I think encouraging players like work together or use more environmental stuff if they're working together, I think could be pretty sweet. It almost makes combat more of a puzzle, which is fun. Like if you have like two people like talking out, like how they want to approach something, it almost makes it more of like a narrative interaction, which is really fun.

Also, the person who isn't partnered with anyone has tons of fun jokes about how they're all alone. Yeah, they can really go off on that. That's the main thing I like about this idea. Yeah, I think Jasper and Emily bring up good points that M's like, this is kind of the first way that people bond. So it's really good for beginners to kind of encourage them to work together as a team. And the Jasper brings up a good point that it'd be really fun

to come up with fun combos as a high level character because you kind of end up kind of just having your trips. Oh, that's true. So at first, I was like, this is kind of a problem. First year or no, because I'm the no-chortles total. Yeah. So at first I was kind of like,

this is solving a problem that I don't personally have because we use the older edition thing. I think it's an older editions. It might be complete homebrew, I don't know. But we allow people to hold their turns. Hold their turns, yeah. She kind of can, I don't know. But we allow people to hold their turns. Hold their turn, yeah. She kind of can go on the same turn. Precisely, yeah.

However, I hadn't considered what like, you know, like a new table isn't going to know to ask for that. Yeah. And if you actually bake that into the game and say, hey, you guys can actually work together, that is actually really cool. Murf's beak is cracking a grin. I just may have to chortle.

Whoa. Hang on, hang on, I'm gonna chortle. Whoa. Here comes the comes. We've never seen this. Oh, yeah. There it is. Whoa.

First episode in and he broke his no chortle rule. That's his one rule. Who tickled you? I was trying to say who tickled you in the cadence. You would say who hurt you. Who tickled you? Who tickled you in the in the cadence you would say who hurt you. Who tickled you? Who tickled you? How would you tickle a turtle? We totals have been doing this for well over 90 years and we've never had a turtle. So like one incredible moment that was for all of us. Yeah. I think I'm gonna go ahead take my eggs off the ice They are still frozen though because I went to great lengths to freeze them

So I'm gonna I'm gonna offer it especially because the deal is so great offering a hundred percent So Diego, I'm gonna offer you just a nest of frozen eggs Some amount that we don't know. Nested frozen eggs. Got it. Yeah. It's rude to count, Merv. It's rude to count. It's actually when they're frozen,

they're all stuffed together right now, so it's actually hard to break them apart. It's a big block of eggs. Yeah, yeah. Trust me. Trust me. When it thaws out, it's going to be well worth your time. Yeah.

I think I would like to invest in this. I will add, I think we could button this up a little bit. I think we could really work together on this one. I'm gonna try to sell you on this. I think that you really put it in writing, you say like within five initiatives, that's when you get to work together. You make it exciting so that when you roll,

people come together. That's cool. I'm gonna go ahead and grab a coin to see how many eggs I'm gonna invest. Okay, so you're gonna get in the car, drive to the bank, and then get it by a coin. Murph also is left to get a coin. He's actually just standing in the corner now. He's just standing. Stop in there for three minutes, enough.

Three minutes. I will say one thing about this though is that I wouldn't be too heavy-handed with it, right? Because if it felt like this was the gimmick of every single encounter, it might end up feeling cumbersome. Totally, maybe it should be my two or three initiative spots. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, maybe just stand up. I like even it close. Yeah. To play Tertis' advocate here, I kind of feel like the problem that it's solving to move combat along, it could make it worse to have people that rolled like 16 to 18 talking and strategizing together. I think it should be if you roll the same number as is the only instance that should come up. And it doesn't seem like anything that would save time. That's what I was about to say.

I think it would just be something that would be cool. Like if you get the same exact number to initiative, you guys get to work together to come up with a cool move. I think that's exactly what I was looking for, the change that I was looking for. Is that yeah? So, if they obviously do not believe in you, do not go with him.

He does not have the vision to follow. Two restrictive. Okay, but I've also had frozen my eggs from the previous pitch. So I could throw on some crushed, some crushed icy eggs. They're just cold, Jake. They're not frozen. They're just cellar temp your eggs. Oh no, they freeze. I'm gonna put down a cool nine eggs. Okay, nine eggs is how many eggs I have left.

So I'm gonna abstain. Okay. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. I think I'm going to, I'm gonna make a pitch to you Diego because I love your idea and I think it's very strong. And I actually think that me and Murf could collaborate

really well on this idea. Wow. So I'm gonna offer you a further nine eggs to make a total of 18 eggs and me and Murph will split the share of this idea 50-50. I love that. I think there's no way anyone's gonna beat us. I'm getting on their 18 eggs

because I think that Jasper and Murph are on one team. And mine are hard boiled, not frozen, just wanna clarify. And then me and Jake are kind of vibing off another thing, but again, our ins are frozen and uncountable. I'm countable. I'm countable. A mystery pile of frozen eggs.

So, we are two business partners teaming up here. Emily and I will roll and, um, um, we're from Jasper, we'll roll. Emily and I, I think we should roll with advantage because we are doing the huge block of and of course. Okay, okay, cool. I'm the celebrity guest, so I think I should also, you should roll. You should roll.

Jasper also gets advantage. I got a 6 and a 19. Oh good, what? I got a five and a two. I got a five and a two as well. Oh my gosh. Whoa. You get to go together at an initiative.

You were going to get an initiative, yeah. Me and Jake cannot look together. That's how this works. We switched teams. The idea actually is great, because that gave me a lot of joy just now. Okay, so you guys cancel each other out. And what did you get?

A six and a 19. I got a 10 and a 19. That's me a Jasper. Oh, okay. That's me a Jasper. Oh! Oh, okay! Oh, that's awesome. That's totally not how advantage works. We would just both do 19, but I choose to read it

in our favor. Yeah. I'm giving a Diego Nexra five eggs for the, for the y'all, so reference. Thank you. So purchased. Our next, our next hatchling rights, this comes from a link hey

Tortals today. I have one of my oldest and most beloved homebrew rules our table shares a dice box for rolling And it has been a longstanding tradition for things like initiative group checks or anything else that would have more than one player role That you can hit another player's dice to try to change a role for the better It really brings a fun energy to the table and has the chance of making things worse. Take all my eggs. Take all my eggs. Anytime you're fucking beaming another dice

with your D-20, I'm in! You're fucking doing Bakugan battlespiles with your dice. Nothing better than an erratic throw of the dice in which you lose a deep 20. Could you imagine box of doom, Brennan rolls, and you just eat a dice, try it. And you just try and change it.

I'm very curious what the no-chortles total thinks of this. This is chaos. Okay, Jake, can you refer back to the hatchling total thinks of this. This is chaos. This is what? Okay. Jake, can you refer back to the hatchling? The hatchling says that they use it for initiative and a bunch of things, right? Yeah.

Initiative group checks and anything else that would have more than one player role. So it's used. So like instead of the game. One person role. Is it essentially instead of advantage? It says no, no, no. Okay, so I'm actually, I'm gonna do a generous read

and it sounds like it's when the whole group has to roll for something. So it's actually not as chaotic as maybe we first thought. It's not like every single time you attack, everyone could just chuck dice at it. It's, I think your everyone gets it one zedex. And instead of a lock check, it's like a fuck check. And then he just like,

All right, I'm investing in the fuck check. Fuck check. Yeah, if you're doing that, then I'm in. I'm in one, one, one, uh. Fuck point. I think everyone should have three fuck points. I'm a fucking boy. You need so much stamina for three fuck points.

If everyone is rolling, they're rolling into a tray and players can try to knock the dice onto higher. So yeah, so I think it's a roll. I think it's a roll. And then everyone can just juxtapize that roll. So yeah. I still rather understood this. I still somewhat understood this.

I like it. I like I still somewhat understood this. I like it. It's fun. Oh, it's very fun. I worry that it would lead to people bringing bigger and bigger and heavier dice to the table to try and get an advantage with the heft of their dice. Almost pog rules.

Okay, here's what I'm gonna say, though, those big, heavy dice never roll well. Murph always buys those big ass like overly masculine metal dice. I don't buy it, get the best of mine. I don't buy it. Oh dude, I'm not having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun.

Oh my god. You're probably learned a lot about it. I'm getting mad. What did I do? I didn't do any. When I went to the studio, Murph, the first thing Murph did was sit and say, hey, dude, let me show you my big metal dice. I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go out, I just go two. I, okay. For one season, that was a sci-fi season. And I was a big metal dude. I had metal dice as part of my dice tray.

That were sent to us by the lovely fans of NAD pod. Okay, well they did, they rolled very poorly. They rolled very poorly, but that shook my confidence in metal dice. That's more of a mere problem than a mental dice problem, I would say. The fact that they were the same size as testicles is neither here nor there. It just doesn't matter. Oh wow, could we make truck nuts that are 2D 20s? I would be kind of tight.

Holy shit, holy shit, we're going into the tank and I love it. Keep talking. I almost want to make that to just see what tiny of a vent diagram between mad pod fans and truck nerds people. There is one person. One person is out there being like, yes! Yes! What's happening?

Bard drives a Ford F-150. That's what I want to know. I, whoever you are, I love you. Yeah. You are a I love you. Yeah. You are a rare precious gem. Yeah, just like one ironic 19 year old. That's about it. I really dig this idea as well.

I feel like the fact that there's like a special battle arena somewhat built for this. Yeah. Like everyone throws a dice in and there's kind of like a spectacle to it. That really gets me excited. That really boils my eggs, I'll say. Yeah. So I think I'm gonna go ahead and toss in a few eggs. Yeah, my eggs are hard boiled right now for sure.

Yeah. I said it from the start, I'm all in. I love beaming a dice with another dice. No. Should we toss some of our eggs into the pit and see which egg wins? This is market tested. These players love this tradition.

I think that goes well. I do have a question, because I'm picturing, I'm picturing some really intensely beamed dice. What happens if you hit someone else's dice and it changes it, but it hits another dice and then changes that? I think it's the ripples of fate, but that is one dice thing counts.

That's the only way this would make sense, I think. Okay. No, I think that's the ripples of fate. I think it's one dice thing. I think so. That's the only way this would make sense, I think. Okay. No, I think it compounds. I think it like once the dice are in the pool, I think that that is fate has. Oh wait, but then why try to hit another dice? You're just rolling. If they got a bad roll, if it's like, if they've rolled,

it's on a one, you could then be trying to hit that one dice, but if you hit someone else's, that's just the way the dice fall, right? It's true. Yeah. That's what I think. You can try to be my mom. You look over someone else's 20. That, that to me is less interesting than

we're gonna do a group role for this. M decides I'm gonna roll and then you guys throw the dice trying to hit her dice to make it a better role. It's much more interesting to me than it being like, you guys all roll and then you can randomly hit each other's dice and stuff, that just feels... We are saying the first thing.

We're not saying everyone rolls at the same time. But we're saying that like, if a thrown dice tries to knock over, if you're aiming for Emily's one and you hit Emily's one and also called Wells 18 or something and they both roll over. Everyone has to take the hit dice roll. Cut it. I just don't, I don't get it if it's a group check

why called Wells dice would count. Well, that's a little rude, but okay. No, I'm saying. I think also, Oh, do you know what I'm saying? Well, it's like initiative, right? Like as in like, if it's initiatives, like everyone needs a,

everyone's like, Oh, they're doing this for initiative? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy My turtles are out. I love it. I think it sounds fun. I think it sounds like everyone has fun doing this I get why they have fun doing it. It's just another it's just another little Rich for my eggs and in fact I wonder if there's I really like the idea that like I guess once a little too rich for my eggs. And in fact, I wonder if there's, I really like the idea that like, I guess once a day is too insane, but that everyone has like a once a campaign

that they can try to undo someone's bad role. But just say it. Yeah, I like it. I just nudging. Trying to nudge towards a better future. I really appreciate that. If someone is ever like trying to give the help action, they like really haven't earned it,

you could just be like, you can't give the help action they like really haven't earned it You could just be like you can't give the help action you can't roll with advantage But afterwards you can chuck a D20 at their This episode of nad pod has brought to you five bird dogs They're a company that makes pants and shorts So no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look.

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promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Wait, I've got the perfect branding for this. It's the Chuck Check. Chuck Check.

Nice. Chuck Check. Chuck Check. I think I'd like it even more if it was like at the end of the table, it was like a bowling situation where it's actually quite a hard shot to make as well. Yeah.

Like you've really got some skill to even hit the dice in the first. Oh, that's funny. I've just done a Chuck-Chick like seven times here and at every single time I made the roll worse. Yeah, very interesting. Very interesting. I think it's weighted against you, really. Okay, let's crack some eggs. It's time to put up or shut up.

Let's go around the horn. Right, what's everybody think? Are you in on the chuck check? I'm gonna put up my whole brood. Holy shit, everyone of you are in. Whoa, you're fucking clutch. I love it. All of you are infinite eggs.

Okay. I think I love, I just, it's so stupid, I love it. I get why your players love it. Yeah. As I mentioned before, canonically, only have nine eggs left. So I'm just gonna take one of my proudest and best eggs and just hook it at Emily's clutch as hard as I can. Yeah, nice, nice.

Okay. I think I will take two of my eggs and just beam it at cold well Just to see if I can change cold well's number I don't know I think I think I'm I think I'm actually gonna be out on this one I'm all for chaos, but I feel like this one I think this probably says more about some of the people I play with. I know for a fact that some of the people I play with would be like, hey, you got an app 20? And then like, you would, you would,

shuck it and ruin someone else's role. It should never be used like that. It should never be used like that. Yeah, you have to use it responsibly. So I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, come back to me when we have really clear established lines and there will be some eggs on the table for you.

But when we have some real clear lines on how to use this, I'll put some eggs on the table. The clear lines I would put out there is that we actually do use this sparingly so that it is a special opportunity when it comes up. And we don't do vindictive mean ones for no reason. Yeah, I like the idea of doing this as a group check Where one person's rolling and then other people can affect it as far as initiative and stuff. It's a little too rich for my eggs

You're not going to want to take notes from me when Emily Tortle clearly believes in the business. So as she just throws I've never once made it better always Throws I've never once made it better always Jays me more Jake can you beat Emily's infinite eggs? I cannot beat Emily's infinite eggs, but I do want to throw my hat in the ring to be in your employee as a brand-am Ambassador I will go table-to-table Hucking dice at different DMs at next, just for the gospel.

Put, like, next live show, either Emily or Jake, just a random point in the show, just get up and throw a dice at someone else. Like, that would be great. We actually do that. We do throw our dice into the crowd. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, okay, yeah. I did that, actually. I did Dutch Lee. I know about that one. That's Dutch Chuck Check. As an addendum, I would like to sue Jasper for the damages I have incurred from the eggs he threw at me. Yes. How do you think we got all of our eggs? We are very lipped to just tore them up.

We will just sue each other. That's how it goes. Yeah. We have friends on the Supreme Crit. After like, after like 12 Chuck Checks, I finally got one that made it better. Yeah. Hey, one in 12. That's not bad. So we know that it works. I don't know. 20. And we know that it makes me laugh. The Chuck Check belongs to the total of tortitude. Our next hatchling, Daniel I writes, Hello, Tortels and Tertuses.

Today, I'm pitching a system to put the allied NPCs and hench people to work for the party. Groups of followers can be sent as a B team to take care of minor plot hooks or investigations. Their success is determined by two D6 roles at the end of their side quests off screen. One through six is a failure and a new threat. Seven through nine is a success but with a cost and 10 plus is a complete success and a new hook. Have an

unused magic item? Give them to the beat team on their quest, can give them a plus one bonus for each item up to a cap set by the DM, put those side characters to work and leave no loose thread untucked. Well, those seems really thought out. Yeah. Mechem. The take has gone silent. I'm seeing, I'm hearing no bubbles.

Well, I at this point threw on my eggs into an idea that no one else was really competing for. Emily got into a bitting bowl with herself. This is essentially outsourcing adventures. I would say this is kind of solving a problem that I don't have, which is that I like to do stuff in D&D. I don't need it. I wouldn't even wanna do the four hour work week thing

in real life, let alone in a fancy way. Yes. I'm wondering who needs this. You might just not like D&D if you want to play it this way. Well, the thing I don't mind is that sometimes an NPC has a thing that they need to do, and you're like, love that for you. I'm definitely totally.

Yes, yes, yes. What in mind doing it? And also, we're very used to playing narrative D&D, where we're not sitting there and being like, every single NPC you talk to has like a job board thing or has, you know, like if you read, for instance, like any kind of module or, you know, like the pamphlet that comes with the starter set and everything,

it'll be like, this person wants to do this, this person wants to do this and everything. And for a narrative thing, you're not gonna wanna do like a job board where you're gonna go get 20 gold to go wipe out this camp or something like that. So I could see it being useful in a thing like that, where you're essentially just gambling on the side. Like, we don't wanna go take this one bounty,

but maybe we'll send these guys to go do this bounty and they'll cut us in. I feel like it inherently creates this weird division where you've just got like a company of balanors out doing missions for you. Right. And like, they're gonna get resentful at some point. Like, they're gonna realize that they're the B team

and they're gonna wanna challenge you for your stake as the leaders of the party. Oh, interesting. If I'm an NPC and I don't have a magic weapon and then some random person says, Hey, will you go collect these pumpkins? Here's a verbal story. Yeah.

Will you go collect these pumpkins? We all agree. We all agree. We're tired of collecting pumpkins. We're done. we're tired of collecting pumpkins Murph cuts so many pumpkin collection scenes in that part every single time you guys get to a new town There's an NPC looking for He's trying to get a freaking pumpkin So fucking tragic backstory now we have to go fucking collect pumpkins with it. Ray Pumpkin's wrote down the hill.

They've fell down the hill. Can you go get my pumpkins? Oh, time to go. My wife and I used to grow pumpkins. Yeah, we never released that eight episode pumpkin arc. Yeah. Or as well, but who the pumpkins? The pumpkins chronicles.

Yeah, that was a campaign one. Matt Mercer guesseded on that. Yeah, yeah. He was the voice of the pumpkin guy. Not the pumpkin king, Jack's killing him with the pumpkin guy. But the pumpkin guy. The pumpkin guy.

Yeah. He was replaced by a little cop later. He was integral to the storyline. I feel like it's like that guy from random towns and stuff in Avatar, the last Airbender who's got the cabbages that always get destroyed. It's like in that part, there's always a pumpkin guy. And he's always like, please,

have a pumpkin guy. Please, if someone can help me, my pumpkin, they've got a gun. I can't find my pumpkins. I honestly think if I floated that to any of your guys' characters, you would be so invested. I will dedicate my life to getting your pumpkins. But that's a thing.

That's a thing. We wouldn't send NPCs after these pumpkins. We'd be like, sir, we will go to the ends of the fucking earth to retrieve your pumpkins. You will be dining on pumpkin soup tonight, my friend. We will help you. If anything, the NPCs would be doing the main stuff. Like, all right.

Yeah. Yeah. Go fight galad. We need to go get some pumpkins. I quite like this purely because I have a, I really enjoy making the world feel as big as possible. And especially if you're beginning of a campaign, I love the sensation of when my players feel small and there's lots of stuff happening around them.

So I quite like the idea that you could make it feel a bit more lived in with a very simple mechanic. Because the thing is, it's not a huge amount of extra work for the DM. So just be like, cool, I'm a roll 2D6 and we'll see what happens. But there'll be some repercussions. Do you know what I mean? There'll be some fun. If you're like, oh, there's a rave attacking this town,

you don't go and help, you send the B squad and they fail, maybe that town is now a bigger issue or a bigger problem. You know what I mean? I quite like that. I think that's fun. It really gives you a lot of opportunities to develop hooks for down the line

and to like have story threads that you can tug on if like your characters are ready to move on. So I like it for that reason. I just don't know if it's a fit for my eggs. Yeah. Yeah. My eggs are long and thin and leathery because they're a turd of eggs.

Oh, yeah. Your eggs are long and thin. You should get yourself a big dice. Yeah. It's a little flat. You got a little event, dude. Yeah. Ah. You'd have absolutely good little vet. Your eggs are long and thin you should you should get yourself a big dice Dude You'd absolutely go that you totally need I was gonna say I don't know if any of you guys have played earthbound But yeah, there's there's a two Kids in it that are named a applicator would you stop?

So much noise Kids in it that are named apple kid it would you stop Noise Rolling dice in the background Really it really just shows how I can popular that would be everyone at home is trying it now, too It's relatable. I don't know if it's relatable. I don't know if it's relatable. I gotta do one time. There are so many very, so many very, so many very, so many. I just turned 18 into a crit. Okay, I turned 18 into a crit.

Oh! Okay. As I was saying, two and three, two and three. What is the Apple Kids and what is the Orange Kid? And you can invest in them and they make inventions for you. OrangeKid sucks though, it only makes you a broken machine. Whereas AppleKid makes really good stuff that helps you later.

So if you were to change this and instead of having it be random jobboard stuff where you have employees, you can invest in an inventor and then they give you stuff throughout the campaign. I think that might be a little more fun. I like that idea. I think your thing was more disruptive than Emily's. I really think it was more of a tangent. Emily, please keep rolling dice. That was my favorite thing that's happened in like the last week. I do like your idea, theilmurf, that you could, that if you guys were sending money to like,

if you essentially were the patrons of a blacksmith, and then this person, because I think that their system for like finding out success seems kind of fun. I like it. Yeah. This is basically like you're subscribing to people in your world's Patreon, And I like that idea.

Yes, yes, yes. Love that. I'm saying put AppleKid in your games. Get AppleKid in there. Get AppleKid in there. Do you have the big brass dice to put AppleKid in your game to find out? So who's eggs does this idea work for?

This is definitely what it works for my eggs. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely in, I'm gonna make a big bold offer of a hundred eggs. I think it's fun. Wow. I think this is a really fun idea. I like how easily it's resolved

and I think it is a great way for me to, and for all deems to make their worlds feel like, not even more lived in and alive and I love that. So yeah, get those pumpkins found. And we get the thing is, and it will be exclusively pumpkin themed quests. Right. Yeah, you have to get one.

Jack Skellington's brother, the pumpkin guy. Yeah, every bad guy they fight has a pumpkin on their head. And it all leads up to, it all leads up to B squad fighting a pumpkin dragon and I'm really excited about it. All right. All right. Well now now my ex-retangling jazz. I really get me excited. I'm doing my clutch but I made a couple more eggs when you talked about fighting a dragon with a pumpkin on their head. That's the beauty of it. She's got a million eggs. She's back in a game. She's absolutely back in the game.

He got a makeup to sell them. You can't print money, but you can lay eggs. Put that on a D-shirt. So I think Jasper's investing in this one, unless anyone else is, no, I think Jasper's got this one. Wow, all right. Jasper's walking away with it.

I would like some of the pumpkins that Jasper gets though. Yeah. All right. Ideally Why don't we do one last one? Yeah, this will be the final idea from our hatchling Kevin W. Kevin writes approach the tank Kevin approach the day Put your hand up to the tank five tiny turtles and we will put our turtle fins up there Please put your head in the tank so we can hear you please because we can't it's like you are outside the tank. Five tiny turtles. And we will put our turtle fins up there. Please put your head in the tank so we can hear you please because we can't, it's like you are outside the tank, we're in the tank, we can't, you could just. Yeah, if you could gargle this idea into the filter. That would be great.

I don't know if you've seen the movie Arrival Kevin, but we're going to need you to play it like that. Just steam up the outside of the tank a little, and write a little message. That would be great. This is very fitting because Kevin is actually the one person that didn't really introduce or address us at all. Great, great, perfect. Kevin writes,

Fleshy, the clockwork sneaky doll. Fleshy is a clockwork stuffed doll made up of a rabbit's body, metal skeleton, turtle shell on its back, and teeth from a lizard. He gives advantage on stealth checks, but every time you use him, you have to roll a D20. On a one, he jumps out of your arms and runs around screaming, hi, I'm Fleshy at the top of the globe for one round. Okay.

Here's what I like about this. I remember from that winter solstice one shot I did like for like a mixed bag forever ago. I had mound in cobald press like this rabbit. I can't remember any of the details, but it was basically like a rabbit that looked really cute, but like could essentially secretly siphon your blood from you.

Yeah. So I do like something that you think is gonna help you, but secretly. I guess my question is, yeah. How does Fleshy help? Advantage on stealth checks. No, no, no, but I know, but like, what does that look like? Yeah. How does Fleshy accomplish this?

I think Fleshy uses their lizard teeth to give you a bony little kiss that inspires you to be the quiet. They have the body of a rabbit, right? Right. And rabbits are a different quiet. So maybe maybe they fill the air with the sort of white noise of the bitter powder of rabbit feet.

Yeah. Generous read. Here's how this is going to work for my eggs. Here's how we're going to create a little narrow slot that my eggs can fit through. Um, God, I wish I didn't know what your eggs look like. So thin. So thin. It's actually what turtle eggs look like.

Don't look it up. I think that the way that Fleshy works is that Fleshy is causing a distraction irregardless. Like Fleshy is there to distract whoever you are trying to sneak away from. And on a one out of 20, the guards, whoever Fleshy is distracting just doesn't like Fleshy's deal and it's going to look past them. Like Fleshy is gonna do a bad job.

I don't want through 20. Oh, interesting. That makes sense. Yeah, soleshy is gonna do a bad job. I don't want through 20. Oh, interesting. Is that make sense? Yeah, so like, it looks just like a regular rabbit kind of crossing a field or something. That's distracting. Yeah. But on a one, then it stands up and yells, I'm Fleshy.

I don't know that we've landed on Fleshy as helping. I would like to suck some eggs back in. Which is how much I would like to not invest in this. But, but Murf, they're so thick. They're coming back in, which is how much I would like to not invest in this. But, but Murf, they're so thick. They're coming back in. Look! I think that, Lushy is like a very creative and evocative, and I like, I like what you're

trying to do. It's not going to work for my eggs, but I'm inspired that you're in the game. Yeah. I think you should make a Fleshy comic. Yeah. There we go. And a Fleshy comic. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. And then we can see about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. About adopting it. In my head I'm picturing the DM's voice for Fleshy. And it's getting a lot of laughs at the table. Fleshy is a hit. Fleshy's got a real weird raspy little voice. Let's hear it.

It's Fleshy! I'm out. It's like that. It's hot. God, what's done. I'm out. So my God. It's God, God, what's done? So much for this idea. Oops, desabi. Okay, I'm back in.

No, wow. I don't know because you want to know what? Actually, I think that there's too much buildup of what it's going to be, right? Because you know you have this item and then you're like, oh, it's going to be this crazy moment when it says its name, that kind of nothing can lead us to that. Also, there are lots of moments in stealth where it's like funny to get caught. And then there's lots of moments in stealth where it's an actual interesting big part of the campaign where you're like, you're sneaking in, you're hearing the evil king tell one of his minions the bad things he's gonna do.

And the dad Fleshy just undercut literally every moment of drama in your campaign. Yeah. Yeah. Because at the very least you're going to use Fleshy so you have to describe Fleshy helping. Yeah. Oh, Fleshy dropped his soda!

I'm out of on, Fleshy. Something like that. Interesting. So I think for me, with all these items, if you're going to go for a chaos item, it needs to be like real chaos. I'm talking like, you know, on a one fleshy just explodes or something completely. Yeah, there we go. Do you want to mean, but on like a 20 fleshy turns into like a 10 foot, 15 foot version

of itself and you can ride its back and it's got a movement speed of 60. Do you want to mean? Like I feel like it's going to 15 foot version of itself, and you can ride its back, and it's got a movement speed of 60. Do you know what I mean? I feel like it's gonna be some of the real wild for me. I thought this is like a little too safe, you know? I feel like flesh in the description. I think I agree. It need, like all of the stuff is all the ingredients

are there for real chaotic soup, which I could crack my eggs in, ramen style, and have on the top, and it would be lovely. Oh, soft, but I love it. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? But I feel like at the moment, it's like more of a broth, and I don't know how I feel about putting my eggs in a broth. I want a ramen.

Yeah, I agree. I think I agree. I think that's kind of what it is. I like the exploding because that gets rid of the Fleshy problem. I'm Fleshy! Fleshy will miss you most of all! Just when you're starting to get tired of the Fleshy. Oh, it's Fleshy.

That's a good fix. That's a good fix. On the group chat without the DM, you're like, I just feel like the DM really loves Fleshy. He loves Fleshy. But I don't know how to interact with him. DM you're like I just feel like the DM really loves boy he loves and but I I don't know how to interact with it yeah I was trying to sneak up on my dad to see if he would accept me and the fleshy screams that his socks got wet

and I don't know where you got socks he's not wearing them yeah so fleshy exploded and his voice box landed somewhere and we can't find it and it keeps going on. I'm not still sure if I did. That's a good gentle way. That's a gentle way. Right Fleshy.

I'm running out of batteries. Yeah, exactly. Just no, please. We need to find it. The DM's like really still trying to make it work. And you hear Fleshy go like, please tell my son I love him as he explodes. Fleshy had a, we're not gonna find your son. That's how that, oh god he really loved doing that voice send the B party to go find Fleshy's family. That's how we get tied to, I don't think so.

I will lend you my ideas. Apple Kid, you're making inventions. B team, you go find Fleshy Jr. Does anyone want to invest in Fleshy? I will invest 25 eggs if they can come back to the table with chaos fleshy. I'm thinking something like mega fleshy or the fleshy, which is extreme chaos version. Absolutely, eggs on the table for that. Absolutely.

Yeah, throw some wild magic into that fleshy. I'm going to chip a few eggs, Jasper's way. I'm going to buy in for eggs on the dollar, just the real low ball offer. I will not change fleshy at all. I think it's perfect as is. I think what you have is a marketing problem. You have a brand awareness issue. And for 85% of the company, 85% of Fleshy,

I will hit the road and tell everybody about Fleshy. Mm. You'll just get the word out. So you think, you think, this thing does not work about Fleshy. You'll just get the word out. So you think, you think, the thing that's not working about Fleshy is that none of the people know about Fleshy. Yeah. Okay, so you're gonna do sort of like integrated tweets and.

You're gonna go to McDonald's and you're gonna be able to get the Fleshy meal. Yeah, it's gonna be a custom takeover in McDonald's. A Fleshy toy. Yeah, you guys seen the Lego movie? How about the fleshy movie? That's interesting. See?

Okay, but see what I was saying. And I have enough view that I'm entering to Paramount. So yeah, I think I have an in. I like the character you've come up with. It's just, I don't know if it belongs in D&D. Maybe it's better as a movie. And it could be a movie. It's true.

And it could be a restaurant. It could be a town somewhere. it could be a movie. It's true. And it could be a restaurant. It could be a town somewhere. We could do a bread and cake over a gorilla marketing. I don't see why Fleshy isn't Adijay. He's got lost in the tank. And we were so close. It should be a co-chose the end of the episode. I'm gonna call the attendant that feeds us to get the dad.

I'm gonna call the attendant that feeds us to get the dad. We get Jake out of the tank. Jake, how? He's throwing dice everywhere. That one was a seven. Attendant that feeds us to get the dad to get Jake out of the tank Jake how Throwing dice Every one was a 7 to a 19 baby I turned off the AC in this room, which is like 40 degrees. I was like oh man I don't want to I hope I mess with the sound. I'm like, well, baby. Yeah, I'm Banging wait, I don't be at some dice in I'm gonna mess with the sound. I'm like, well, baby. I'm never banging. I'll ask them to dice in that.

Seven to 19. Woo! I keep trying to hit my dice with my other dice and I can't do it. They keep missing. Okay, but see, that's also fun. So Jake called on Jasper. Why don't you guys roll to see which deal the hatchling takes.

Okay, okay. Ooh, that's an 18. Can I chuck a dice at it? You, I've got a five. Can I chuck a dice in it? Yeah, everyone chuck a dice at your dice. I turned it into a two. I fucking missed! I missed! I missed the dice. Well, I also got an 18 with the Chuck Dice. That's amazing. Wow. Nice. I turned my 18 into a two.

I got a 10. Okay. Jasper, with the Chuck Dice gets fleshy. I'm gonna get a restaurant chain called Fleshy. What an absolute crime. Okay. I have a cheeky fleshy. Disgusting.

Fleshy's no. It's so annoying. Okay. Well, we've gotten completely lost in the tank. Disgusting Well We've gotten completely lost in the tank so why don't we go ahead and wrap this one up Thank you all so much for listening you can listen to us more over on our patreon patreon.com slash nad pod That's n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing yet. We don't say don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it Jasper will be joining us as The tortoise decide whether or not to invest their eggs in a few more magical items

Jasper, thank you so much for coming on do you have anything you'd like to plug? Thanks for having me. This has been great fun my eggs are very very warm and ready to be scrambled into a brand new 3 Black Halflings season. We'll be launching on the 27th of August. Make sure you are subscribed to 3 Black Halflings. It is going to be incredible. We've got some amazing guests this new season. I won't say too much, but we're returning to a previous world, which is absolutely incredible, and I'm so stoked for it. We even got to film two of the later episodes in a D&D studio down in Bristol, and it looks so dope. So that's...

So that's... That's it. ...odd now? Incredible. Very cool. So very excited for that. So yeah, go check us out through Black Halflings. And it's like at three Black Halflings on, that's number three, Black Halflings on Twitter, Instagram, and we're kind of on Facebook, but you know, Facebook. Who's on?

I don't know. We have the most on everyone. Like occasionally someone on like our page or whatever, and I'm like, oh, cool. Yeah, that's good. Great, thanks. You should leave, but thanks. I'll rejoin Facebook just to follow.

Sweet, is anybody else have anything? I think we might have live shows over on natpod.com slash live. There's also a solid chance that it's sold out. So go over and check it out. This is the marketing you will get for fleshing. Yeah. Yeah.

This is the marketing you will get for Fleshy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was saying our live shows should be a ride. It is me. Yeah.

Yeah. The live shows are arriving on Jake's stand at time, so that's what they were a little unclear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're still warming up. Call the way you got anything? Yeah.

I would love to plug some people that sent us things to our PO box real quick. Let's see, Jordan Beaver, who some of you might know is the person that wrote the tub brisket one shot. Wow. Sent us a care package of Texas whiskeys and wines, and also a bunch of D&D court themes slap bracelets. How interesting that the wines didn't make it to our house.

Well, how interesting that I'm going to hang on to those. Yeah, you give us you give us all of the big boxes and keep all the wine interesting. You know what? I have to go to the peel box once it got down week. Allow me my tariff. I'm skimming off the top, Fleshy Style, baby. Someone sent us each a t-shirt with a frame to crayon drawing of Josh Allen. It seems like some sort of meme that I'm not aware of, but if you sit these please give me an explanation for why you did this. I think it's just the bit.

We just, just Josh Allen. We just found Josh Allen. Yeah, it's just Josh Allen. Yeah, it look Josh Allen. We just thought I was a Josh Allen. Yeah. It's just Josh Allen. Yeah, it look, it's like a very weird drawing of Josh Allen. So I thought maybe they would have themselves. Is it like a rendering of a dolly or something like that? Like dolly, that, a generator? Like a generator?

A generator? No, it's just like kind of a crew drawing of Josh Allen. So maybe they thought that that was like the sort of Josh Allen energy we would want. Which is true. Yeah, I did that. I sent that one in. Yeah, that's it. Oh, true. Yeah, I did that. I sent that one in. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, thanks. Cool. Interesting. Nathan T. or probably Jake again, since the first two chapters of the hard one backstory fanfic they've been working on. And a bunch of beers and hard craft beverages from the brewery they work for, which is called Ryan Guys. Again, Jake, really generous of you to keep sending us this stuff.

Yeah, of course, yeah. Happy to write a backstory for my old character. Adron S. A. K. A. Jake sent us some pink duck dice. We got a lot in a duck dice, but we've never gotten a pink one. So that is very exciting. Thank you. Let's see Maddie sent us a nice note

and some very cute pop-ostickers. Maddie also requested we give a shout out to their friend Sophie. Go, Sophie. Jasper, could you please shout out Sophie? Sophie Was that what you want to hear? Perfect And lastly, Dilton A sent us a copy of Pillars of Pintagram another D&D endless quest book

It's also worth mentioning that this book has a 25 cents sticker on it worth every penny if you ask me What's up with talking to that at some point in huge area. Thank you so much, Dilton. I also, someone sent us, someone sent specifically to me, but it didn't say who it was from. Something from a company called Gothic Slimes. I don't know if it was the company, but it was addressed to dear customer. So I think someone else sent it of a slime,

like a kids toy, that was called Creekwater. And I gotta say, it's slime to touch a slime. We're talking like a gack-esque slime. Yes, like a gack-esque slime, but it was like Creekwater so it has like dirt in it. Right. Someone said Emily Dirty Slime. Yes, the Chist, they just went outside.

I love that for you. Through some slime in the dust and sent it to you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet. Our fans are the best. Sweet, thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to our guest, Jasper William Cartwright,

for joining us and we'll be seeing him over on the Patreon. You can follow us on social media that we may or may not use at CHMERSME, at Caldys Caldwell, at JagerwitsontsJake, at the ExtroDzemily, and Jasper remind me of your socials. It is at JWUnderschoolCut, right? And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPA, that's NADDPOD. We are we are the Teretum Nation! We are we are the Teretum Nation! That was a hit gun podcast. Oh no! The turn of the nation! The Potation!

That was a hit gun podcast. It's the end of our episode, which means it's once again time to shout out our benevolent, fantastic, superfluous, council of elders. Let's get right to it! Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hugh C. Later, Mick Skater. Matt M.

Jordan D.J. Cutter W. Daniel G. Dylan B. Who's missing his own D&D game to see NAD pod live in LA. Thank you again for coming, Dylan B. Hope you had a great time. Dungeon Mama. Daniel, the dasterly Dame, Beardman Dan, Scott D, Danny P, Michael McD, Vincent

W, Miss Tercole, Victor T, Bounor's Boy Forever, Dominic P, Andrew B, Justin I. Ragnar Ferdwin. TJ M. Trele. The Cray. Jared E. Christopher B. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Unawakened Maxim with January Jones on the cover, Yausa. Richard X. Machina. Michael L. Taylor S. Calum L. Jack L. Sam L. Nicola C. That is thunderous turtle. Samuel B. Mike H. Martin P. Matthew E. Way cooler than angry wheat. Adam G. Tyler F. Panama James. Andrew who is no longer a bard after the incident in the Feywild. Yeah, gotta tell us more, Andrew.

I need to know Captain sigil, Diana de los Lopez, CC Lulu, Michelle O, haircule, poirot, the rabbit foe, detective, ho, ho, Timmy R, Lucas B, Raco, it's Kevin, cold, cold, com, hashtag, rise my comrads, spread the comradery. It's a bad cause, but you gotta love the energy. New York, Taylor P, the vengeful one-winged angel, Cass, skateboard, Cass, Steven C, Michael M, Mike K, Lady Taco, Joy T, Nara, Witt and Wimsy, Jake L, Nick W, Brave, The Badger, Esmi M, Mutton, The Mad Druid, who has been trying to undo his friend who has been stuck as a polymorph sheep for three weeks.

Ugh, the count keeps growing, come on Mutton you can do this. Foster, the original boneless duck, Aaron, the asshole ranger. Big bad beardo the mad. Eric McDee, giant monsters on the horizon. Percival Frederickstein von Mussoklisowski der Rolo III. Christian A. J. Dragonborn.

Joe Roe, Vienna Pro Pro. Liam D. The Sandrayin. Ben A. Fell, Donus. John III. Dave H. Vivian. Koala Bear. Catherine S. David K.

Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce. Bookfars Assistant. Easy F. Woodell Theron who is desperately trying to fix his oath bow. Good luck Theron. Blair, the bug, Ryan S, the BOOM DUSTER, the charming fluff, robot crisp, telekitty creations, fan illustrator, insert request here. Um, wow, you know what, this is controversial, but I would love if you could draw the raccoon accordance. Seems cute.

Bloops! Carly Ann. Addy-K. AP Cleric. Lori P. Those who love and give where they can. Spam gaming the Tatted Sailor. Grant L.

Connor S. Christopher J. Pubblepont. How do you get a D&D player to go out with you? You ask them for a D8. Ha ha. Celil, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Remington CD, Amber Dextrous, Kai, the Ham Sandwich, Sullivan H, Trub, Hopdropr, Sydney, Tatum, Jack Hubert Grillionaire, leader of the Mashima clan, a spoon among raspberries, ah, deep cuts all around, I love it.

Pinter greens, penis collada. If you like penis collada, moving on, garble the moist. Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi, Saul's future life partner. Ah, can't wait to meet. Champ Wild, Vailin, Beep, Barbarian Bastard Baby, of Brian and Brennan. Carlin C.

Louis is your Cintar dad. Emily S. Harry Cox. Noah, the bagel of all things. Justin LaBee, Torrely Skirmisher. Levi Little. Pindergreens,

Pungent Putting, Hashtag CCC, Hashtag Schlangenrope. Dandy, Tunnel Monster Collective. Bunny, Marcos P. Pupaylish, learns the balanced druid, Dakota JP, Frida M, Pegos, self-proclaimed, Faye Prince, Tracy P, the Crick-Earth Librarian,

Fryer Frizzest, Andy E, Holly, Hyena, Kristen Z, Lacy, Paige H, Helen, Abriz, Beatrix's beautiful baby batter. Ha ha, Pixel Stars, Akash T, Kristen with a K, Cal, just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison in, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time. Zero parody, Nios the novice monster hunter. My new friend Simon, he was at an old friend had forgotten him, but we cheered ourselves up by singing one big bed together. War alive Frost, Morgan M, appealing sticker. Steven E, Mr. Adams, Meg, the male. Abihumia. James F. Jimmy A. Hi, man. Hi, man. Yeah.

That's me. Captain Kappy. M4L. The Dragon. Ambassador. Wayfarer. Currently in a trademark dispute with mothership over the patent on the SS Stormborn. Hope that clears up soon. Andrew B. Cope Fresh. Barpo. Good Barrel. Bard Barian, and Brewer

and Maritus of Water Deep. Welsh Lander, Garrett G. AKA One Big Curd, Eric M. Mr. D. Sean J. Mr. Silly Head, Ethan B. Monster Captain Renee S. Hope Stagger, the only dagger of hope. Olivia, the enchanting bard, will totally be making money off of the duck team's tails with an on-the-go all-the-stop show.

Sounds great I gotta check it out. Blue slay the Artificer. Michaela R. Riley S. Sir sig 93. FICO. Angry Wheat. The game itself. Chaos Camp aka I.M.S.M. I am a smaffire, Tony G, Corbo's calamitous com shot, hashtag CCC forever, sorry Jake, what about sorry,

called well, I feel like I should be apologized to as well, Josh H, Jack the Jack's jinxing rogue, in search of Bahumias, biggest balls, Sammy underscore the underscore neco, mango and panadas, corabee, timidar, who is now the coolest person in the storm crow clan in your face, Mako, rented mules, mystical mustaloidia, and trog door the burninator. Treader! Whoo! And that is all of our shoutouts, and thank you so so much for your unwavering, undying, unflagging support.

It truly booze me. And I stay afloat thanks to you. If you would like to join the Council of Elders, you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nad pod. And that is it for this week. Thanks so much friends, we will see you next time. Bye bye! friends, we will see you next time. Bye bye!