Not Another D&D Podcast - Tortle Tank: Character Tarot, Redirected Spells and the Great Inspiration Bake-Off

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Torts take a l...ook at some, dice-heavy damage mods, a way to store nat 20's AND invent a revolutionary new way to flip coins. Let's dive right in!Production and Editing by Trevor LyonAnd support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire
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Starting point is 00:01:11 This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. I cannot chortle. I cannot chortle. Oh, thank you for putting that in my head. I will be saying thank you throughout. I'm choking on air bubbles and laughing so much. On the show, we'll hear pitches from players and DMs with unique homebrew ideas and we, Tortles, decide which ones sink and which ones swim.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Please allow me to introduce our talented tech of Tortles. They are Brian Murphy, the no-chortles-tortle. I'm not here to chortle. And William Axford, the epitome of tortitude. Thank you very much for having me, Shell. Called well, Tanner, the turtis who puts fun furthest. Let's put the fin back in financials. Okay. And I am Jake, the good sport tort.
Starting point is 00:02:27 So with that, let's dive in to the turtle tank with a pitch from our first half leg. You guys ready? Sploosh! I'm ready. It's sploosh, disgusting. Sploosh, not sploog, good. Well, I haven't heard the pitch yet.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Andrew O.C., right? Greetings esteemed turtles. Today I'm presenting heard the pitch yet. Andrew OC writes, greetings esteemed totals. Today I'm presenting the Oracle's shop. In addition to providing your typical divination spell services, identify, augury, et cetera, visitors to the shop can have their fortune told for a small 10 gold fee. The fortune telling consists of laying out three tarot cards, representing the character's past,
Starting point is 00:03:05 present, and future. The first two give the player the opportunity to explore their past and present circumstances while the future card activates a first-level spell that will take effect at some point over the next day at the DM's discretion. These spells are associated with the meaning of the card and include spells such as bless, bane, comprehend, language, and gift of alacrity. Okay. Thus far, the resulting readings have been potent and unnervingly accurate. With your eggs and support, we will be able to expand
Starting point is 00:03:35 to create an unrivaled, multi-dimensional, oracle business dynasty. Okay. The tank's boiling. This is hot shit. One of the reasons I love this is that I feel like a lot of the oracular spells like augurty can feel very frustrating because the DM doesn't know how the dice are going to favor or curse you so they can't always give you an accurate read.
Starting point is 00:03:56 So having this tarot card where the future thing is a spell is something that is going to come into play feels very satisfying for me. This just seems airtight across the board. Like you get, it's just a buffet. You're getting like a little like backstory flavor with your character because you flip that card. You get like how you're feeling in the present. And then you also get like, you know, either a boon or a bane,
Starting point is 00:04:20 depending, I just think that like it's a one-stop shop for like all of your character development needs. The thing I'm a little curious about is you're saying backstory, but it's a one-stop shop for like all of your character development needs. The thing I'm a little curious about is you're saying backstory, but it's a randomly flipped card. So are you coming in like being like, okay, this is actually gonna add a new shade of backstory to the character
Starting point is 00:04:36 or do you have like already stuff that you know and you kind of shoehorn it in? I'd be kind of in favor of it. If since it is a randomly flipped card, I'd be in favor of it. If since it is a randomly flipped card, I'd be in favor of it. To play no-chordal advocate, I am a little confused on some of the theming of it. Of like, right, like talking about like,
Starting point is 00:04:56 how do you draw randomly from the past? Although I guess you could do, you could do as if it's a tarot card reading on the actual character. So if this, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's the intention. Okay, it's a tarot card reading on the actual character. So if this... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the intention. Okay. It's a tarot card.
Starting point is 00:05:08 So your character, theoretically, you've like developed a backstory. So it's almost like a nice way roleplay wise to like let some of that come out in random roleplay. It's like this could come out during the tarot session. I'd say that this would play out the best in terms of backstory. It's going to play out the best if you don't have that locked in stone, if you do have that locked in stone, then the cards coming over kind of feels pointless
Starting point is 00:05:30 because you already know what you're gonna say. But I really like the future one. And I like the present one because it can give you a shade of what's going on. I think it's something that you don't put in every town. I think it's something that is like a special one-off that is in a certain town that you go to that happens to be very clairvoyant.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Yeah, like Portland. Yeah. Only put in Portland. Yeah. It's still working in Portland. It's not going to fly in Chicago. It's not going to fly in Chicago. No, no, no, no, no, no, sorry.
Starting point is 00:05:57 It feels like this would be fun if the DM was good at giving a tarot reading. I would be like, oh yeah, I'll sit down for like a hard one sure foot tarot reading. That sounds cool. Right. I'd love to see that. Yeah, it would have to be coming from someone that lived in Portland to me. Yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Yeah. I would need to have gone to stump town previously so that I could get like some coffee and be I could really charged up for this tarot card reading. Shout out PDX for sure. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I'll be on a bike. That's my Portland reference.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Oh, and my uncle Bob will be there. Not too loud. He's doing the reading. He's. Yeah, I think that I really like the identify thing, right? Because that's such a fun thing. Augury, again, I feel like it can be hard because sometimes they're asking questions about will this be successful?
Starting point is 00:06:47 I don't know if you're dice roll well. The thing I like the most is I like the identifying I also like it's almost like a gamble. Let's take a gamble. See what card comes up whether or not you're gonna have a good day Right? You're either blessed or you're bane. It feels very feels very simple and kind of fun. Yeah, mm-hmm I do like this idea. I think it has potential, but I think maybe for me, for my eggs, it's not fully cooked yet. I think it's a soft scramble.
Starting point is 00:07:14 It's a soft scramble. I don't know that it's completely there for me. Your eggs are runny over this idea. Yeah. I'm not gonna invest any eggs in this, but I don't even know what notes I would give. I guess my, again, my only thought is that it just, the future stuff feels a little bit arbitrary.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I like the future stuff. It's kind of like a gamble, right? Like, is today gonna be good or is today gonna be a little hairy? I can see the situation where you're up against some sort of a pack of thieves or pirates or like the big bad, and like you totally forgotten about that tarot card and then all of a sudden it's like,
Starting point is 00:07:48 oh, you like you trip on a stone as you're like running to like launch your attack and you have bane cast on you or something like that. But that's, but that's also could be something that. So then the card like caused that to happen. It didn't predict your future. Like you tripped on a rock. Well, it's, it's the way that.
Starting point is 00:08:03 I think it's fake. I think it's like you're predicting a little bit of your fate. I guess that's what I'm confused about. Yeah, because there's not really a future prediction in a game where you're rolling dice all the time. And this is a way to have. There are those spells though that do predict the future and just acquire your DM to give you answers.
Starting point is 00:08:18 So I guess my question is. But I think that those are hard, right? Will I have a good fight against the big bad? You, the DM can't say whether or not I'm gonna roll three and that one. But if you ask a tarot card, you could interpret that in a way that's honestly probably clearer than you would in a normal conversation.
Starting point is 00:08:35 I just think it's cool to have cards. I think it's cool to have cards. I agree that it's cool to have cards. I'm saying, if Bane is randomly cast on you, when, for instance, you trip over a rock or something, yeah, that doesn't make any sense. Bane feels kind of harsh. But I guess, I guess if the DM is literally being like,
Starting point is 00:08:54 cool, this card is gonna give you Bane or bless, and then specifically cooks it so that later, you meet like a necromancer or something. Yeah, there's, I mean, there's ways to have... I mean, but it could also be sick though, right? Because you could ask the DM, not know how it's gonna play, right? You're like, what's your future? The death card comes up.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Okay, does that mean that in the future, you just have like a resurrection or a revivifying your future? Does it mean that something, you know, like you could kind of ask the DM be open? Yeah, I get, I see where it's Harry. How I would use it is I would just use it as a silly stop that like in Hot Boy Summer, everyone had drama over.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Like it feels like a fun way to identify. It feels like a fun way to have a little bit of, hey, you can gamble on if you're gonna have a good day or a bad day. And I would probably also like, especially with Hot Boy Summer, like we don't go to in depth with your characters. you're gonna have a good day or a bad day. And I would probably also like, especially with a hot boy summer, like we don't go to in depth with your characters. It's something that sure,
Starting point is 00:09:49 maybe I would do that backstory. And then I'm like, I'm sitting there, I pull up a card for you. Okay, actually there's this little nugget in your backstory that we've never talked about. Yeah, although maybe that feels a little invasive to the player, because then the player might be like, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah, but if they're asking for a terror reading, Joe, Joe, Joe, then you are kind of saying. Terror is inherently a conversation. So like if you're having that conversation with your DM, like you're kind of like flushing out backstory at the table a little bit, which can be fun. And you're like letting the card be like kind of a learning tool for it. I'm all on board for this.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Past, called well, present, called well, and future, called well, all really dig this idea. So I will be investing a three times multiplier of my eggs. Amazing. All right, done. Three times one. So three.
Starting point is 00:10:35 So purchased. I think that it's going to grow three times. This is what's going to happen is I'm going to invest my eggs and we're going to see three times growth yield on this. And if you don't know what that means, and I guess go back to business school. Emma, are you bidding? You know, a call will came in so hot
Starting point is 00:10:53 that I'm just, I'm coasting. I'm coasting in the tank. I'm swimming in the corner. Yeah. Yeah. You look sick. You're swimming upside down. Are you okay?
Starting point is 00:11:04 Yeah. All right, let's get onto our next hatchling. This idea comes from Best DM James. And they write, get your eggs ready, turtles, because if you ever played a spellcaster, you'll want to get in on this cantrip buff. Okay. I'm tired of only combat cantrip scaling as you level up.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Why is Firebow doing 4d10? Well while Mage Hand and Guidance are just as powerful as if they were cast by a lowly apprentice. Take my eggs! No more will utility be sideline at level 11 when attack cantrips are 3 times as powerful utility cantrips now only cost a bonus action cast. This allows creative castings and makes these cantrips that are often forgotten at this level of play a viable option in place of their destructive counterparts.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Only drawback is giving Emily more ways to want portal for you, D.M. So a controlling share. I'm asking for 500 million eggs to my dear. You came up with the idea. And one really nice egg for me. Thank you for your time, Tordals. This is a scrumptious idea. I love it.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Take my eggs. Yeah, this is great. I think I wouldn't necessarily default to a bonus action for every single one of them. For example, Maychan, it's very simple to just increase the weight that it can hold. Yes. Which seems sicker to me than,
Starting point is 00:12:30 like bonus action, Mage Hand, I think is an art canter thing. So it feels a little weird to give that to everyone, but I feel like increasing the amount it can carry could lead to some really creative stuff with Mage Hand. Do you think there's a version of it where you actually get to do damage with your Maychan? Like it almost evolves into a Big B's hand at some point.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I don't think, I mean, then you're just stepping on Big B's hand. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to step on Big B. I was actually, I think it's like, it's, it's, it's would end up having applications some more and more, you were adding weight to it. Yeah. Or distance, you could cast it.
Starting point is 00:13:04 And you know, it would be a small scaling thing, but yeah, so I think that, I think not necessarily bonus action for every utility, but I think there's lots of cool ways that you could do that. Yeah, and maybe it gets more dexterous too, so you could like play the piano during battle or something like that. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:13:20 That's what I've been waiting for. That's always been my one note in playing D&D. So I go over to the piano and begin playing a John T. Tunes. That's gonna be your entire action. F***! You could just play a bard and then you can do that. Yeah. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Yeah, so Mage Hand, yeah, can carry 10 pounds. I do feel like that would solve a problem that frequently happens with players where it's like, I wanna use madechants to, and they always wanna do something cool with it, but that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I mean, just from like a fun play standpoint, like, you know, leveling up and doing cooler shape
Starting point is 00:13:57 with your cantrip, like what happens to those spells as you become more and more powerful? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a fun thing to explore. It is tricky because, as Merv mentioned, I find my lip ceiling, I find almost a lack of a chortle entering my beak and it feels strange to me, but there are a lot of like built-in abilities
Starting point is 00:14:15 for this already, like with minor illusion, if you are a school of illusion wizard, you get an upgraded version of minor illusion where you can do images and sounds at the same time. So it seems like a lot of this stuff is, it might be stepping on other classes a little bit. I think I like it. I think it seems fun. The only problem is that, will they then be too powerful out of combat? That I don't know, and that is something I'm willing to just put all my eggs in and play to us. I think that's the sounds fun to do. Yeah, on first, listen, hearing about the bonus action idea
Starting point is 00:14:48 seems a little bit arbitrary, but it does kind of give it a clean just, you know, for something like spare the dying. You don't want to have it also start to heal you. But if spare the dying becomes a bonus action, then it becomes useful without being overpowered. That's pretty sick. So it is kind of a nice blanket thing. But I do, I mean, maybe you could take it
Starting point is 00:15:08 on a case by case basis, up things like the weight of Mage Hand, things like guidance, maybe you could turn it from a D4 to a D6 or something like that. Oh. I like it. This is something that I would gladly fucking rigorously play to.
Starting point is 00:15:22 I like the bones of this. I like the bones of this. I like the bones of this. Why rigorously? Because it would be super fun to just play with a bunch of slightly beefed up cantrips. Yeah, it's just day seven of your playtests and everyone's begging to go home. So I think-
Starting point is 00:15:38 And it's just me and my cats. I will bid on this. I'll bid the 500 million that you're asking What? Me versus you they were asking for 500 million 500 million in one actually I'm gonna be 500 million to two okay special egg. Yeah, I'm gonna be 500 million one and offer to play test it because I think I'll be a really good play tester because I will find the cracks And I will stick my finger in.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Great. I think, I think M's maybe a, wait, but Murf, why don't we go in on it together? It can be an Axmer Murphy on this person. Great, an Axmer production. Okay, okay. Okay, we're going in together. We're going in together.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Actually, and just as a pure spoil sport, I'm gonna go ahead and bid on this too because I've never seen Emily and Murf so excited about something. I have to have it. I think we could safely say we get to roll with advantage because Anne's helping me. For sure, yeah, you guys get to roll with advantage.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Okay, we'll both roll. Okay, tell me what you got. I got an eight. 18. I got a 10. This idea is in its rightful place. All right. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Very exciting. Welcome to the family hatchling. Yeah, I just needed to make it interesting. Okay. Our next hatchling, Jean Philippe H. writes, Hey there, centaurs. Didn't quite get them one moment.
Starting point is 00:17:03 I like the call back. Howdy. I would like to present to you my homebrew modifier dice during an attack, ability check, or saving throw. Instead of adding a simple boring modifier, you roll an extra dice. For example, plus one is a D2, plus two is a D4, plus three is a D6, et cetera. Oh, you can even add a third dice for your proficiency. For a negative modifier, you subtract your modifier instead of adding it. This may seem like a big change, but statistically, it would change your average role
Starting point is 00:17:35 by less than one. I ask the turtles for a simple owl bear egg for my breakfast tomorrow. This is my first thing that I don't like about it, and this is so stupid of me. I don't like the D2. Have you seen a picture of a D2? I just, I, oh wait, you're way, actually, I don't have a problem with it, it's just flipping a coin.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Okay, that's much more satisfying. It's flipping a coin or it's a D4 or a one, two. Yeah, there's also a prototype of a D2 online that looked very cool. I prefer people at my table flip a copy of D2 of the mighty ducks the Mighty Ducks. Oh my God. That's title guard is heads and then the reverse.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yeah credits and blurb on the back, that's gonna be tells. They say that the ducks are back. And they're rollerblading. That's so. I think that's D3, but. Does it DVD or VHS? Actually, it tells rules, whatever you have on hand, but I think VHS is gonna give you a chunk of your role and I prefer the VHS.
Starting point is 00:18:28 It's gonna break. Definitely gonna break. Definitely gonna break. Good break your VHS. Yeah, sure. Oh, you need to have more than one copy of D2 if you're playing D&D. Isn't sad, I've never flicked a DVD like a coin.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Is it satisfying to do? Has anyone here done that? Can't say I have. I've, I've, I've, Jake or Codwell. I guess I have you I have. I've... Jaker called well. I guess I have you done that. I guess I've dropped one before. Yeah, I've never intentionally flipped a DVD like a coin.
Starting point is 00:18:52 And I don't have any DVDs in my house that I could use. Hold on, I got some DVD screeners. I'll go grab them real quick. Okay, yeah, please do. You know, I don't know. It's just, I don't know that that's necessary. Is this, this is a total tank thing that Koldwell leaves to go get two sided things for a bit. That's not for you. Yeah. He's always gone for an extended period of time.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Like he's still gone. Yeah, so he's gonna come back. He's back. He's gonna come back. He's gonna flip it. That was pretty cool. Doesn't have the case. Hey guys, what's up?
Starting point is 00:19:19 I'm back. I got House of Gucci. House of Gucci, okay. I'm gonna give House of Gucci a flip. Okay. Let me call it heads. No. Sorry'm gonna give you how's the Gucci flip. Okay. Let me call it heads. No. Sorry, shiny side, that's tails.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Great. Well, you do it flipping it with your thumb. Yeah, okay, hold on, I'm gonna flip it with my thumbs. All right, then I get to call it again. I'm gonna put my thumb knuckle in the little hole in the center. Aladdin Gaga. Great heads.
Starting point is 00:19:42 That's saying heads, that's how you say it. God, God be with me. Okay. Cool. You dropped it. Landed saying heads. That's how you say heads. God got me with me. Okay. Cool. Drop it. Land it on the floor because it bounced off my microphone. Good stuff. Did it land on heads or tails on the floor?
Starting point is 00:19:51 This is sick. Murph, we should start incorporating a DVD that we flipped during. Yeah, good. Yeah, this is awesome. It was heads by the way. It was heads. Gucci side up. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:20:03 The people at home can't see it. Not it. We, I'm sorry. We'll start doing it for our video episodes for Dungeon Cork. Yeah, it's gonna be great. I think I think I'll bring House of Gucci next time. I think I see where those persons coming from. Like it's fun to add more probability, but I think I like having my modifiers. I fucking earned them.
Starting point is 00:20:22 It's too many dice. Too much confusing. Too much confusing. I like this in theory. Like when I first read it, I fucking earned them. It's too many dices. Too much confusing. Too much confusing. Yeah. I like this in theory. Like when I first read it, I was like, oh, this is awesome. I like rolling dice. It's more dice. But then when you realize how often modifiers come into play, it's a lot of dice shuffling. I every time I try to act too much,
Starting point is 00:20:38 I feel like you start to become numbed or rolling too much, which is why I like when like a DM will be like, we'll just use the roll you got from before. Because it's like, yeah. Also, all this does is it adds rolls to a time when you're already rolling. Because it's not like this is spicing up something. It's just, you're already making an attack,
Starting point is 00:20:56 you're already about to roll the D20. Now instead of adding plus seven, you add plus five, and you have to roll a D4 to see what you're adding to the D4. You're rolling out to see what you add to another roll. It's many days. The consistency of modifiers, they're like the foundation upon which you play.
Starting point is 00:21:13 You know, unfortunately, I'm putting my, I'm freezing my eggs on this one. You're freezing your eggs. Wow. I like the spirit of it because adding more dice and really more dice is fun, but you're also accidentally adding more math, which is an issue.
Starting point is 00:21:29 No! I don't know, because rolling damage for a fireball or something is really fun. Like rolling like a big handful of dice is awesome. What doesn't do it for me, what doesn't do it for my eggs is that in this case, it's just, it's for a separate role. It's to see what you apply to a different role, which is just a little confusing and it's not very neat.
Starting point is 00:21:51 I think the only way that I like this, just trying to give them something, because they just ask for one albeir egg. And like, that's affordable. That's not even our species. That's like nice startup, yeah. Yeah, that's, but I know some albears and they, they would give me an egg if I really needed it. Yeah. I would do an egg exchange. Maybe there's something here with like the coin flip aspect of it where it's like you almost are gambling.
Starting point is 00:22:14 You mean the DVD flip? The DVD flip. Yeah, it's maybe there's something with the DVD flipping aspect of it. You can either take your damage bonus modifier or your modifier as stated or you can do a coin flip and either lose your damage modifier or double it or something like that. And I feel like this would need to be like
Starting point is 00:22:32 a special circumstance. Yeah. But at this point, this is like such a different idea that I'm just gonna keep it for myself and marketed and not put any eggs in. I could fuck around with this for a day but maybe not for all time, too much math for me. And for that reason, I'm out.
Starting point is 00:22:45 I am out, but I do like that. You got us to a place where we were flipping a Lady Gaga DVD. So thank you very much for that. Yeah, thank you for the Lady Gaga. Thank you for the submission. As a way to sing, thanks. I am going to flip the Gucci dice again. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Just to see, just to see if I'm going to go in on this. Yeah, that's awesome. Just to see, just to see if I'm going to go in on this. Yeah. You're that's awesome. Was so dead inside. This is one of the worst five gas vids ever. Because we look at see it. Yeah. It is something that is like a court. So it's just flip a good coin on a pie. Right. Well, I'm announcing the results.
Starting point is 00:23:20 This is good radio. Cold will do you have a different DVD you could go get? That would be it is it is Gucci side up. So we are all investing. We do all actually end up investing. That's awesome. That is all. The more coin flipping we could do on those five tasks the better. And if it's just like if it's like a cracker and there's like one side that's salty or the other side's not. That's fun. Because I can flip it and I can say I can say salty it. And I could say, we're meant to be.
Starting point is 00:23:46 We're meant to be. We're meant to be. We're meant to be. We're meant to be. I could say salty side up. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it.
Starting point is 00:23:54 And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it.
Starting point is 00:24:02 And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a minutes. Okay, okay, next one, next one. Okay, moving on.
Starting point is 00:24:06 John McCee writes, Hey, Tortles, my pitch is simple, stored NAT 20s. Ooh. If you ever roll a D20 and you get a natural 20 during the game, the player can choose to convert that roll into a luck point to be used later. The player then rolls again and takes the new role, whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:24:26 This can be applied to advantage, but not disadvantage, unless both roles are nat 20s, in which case one is converted to a luck point and the other taken as the role result. Luck points work the same as normal luck points, but you can only accumulate maximum of three at one time from this feature to prevent luck point farming. It's not designed to replace the lucky feet
Starting point is 00:24:45 and you can have both abilities. Now you're not 20 on a random perception check to see if the campsite is level or something is no longer wasted on a less important role but can be banked for a critical moment later. Oh, okay, first off, love. This is a minefield. Love that you're thinking.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Love that you're ahead of the luck point farmers because there would be. It still doesn't prevent luck point farming because you can sit there and you can be like, yeah, can I do a perception just to see if my part smells right now? Yeah, cool. Let me go ahead and I failed.
Starting point is 00:25:18 I really want to smell my fart again. And that's a five. I really would love to see. Yeah, I had the same thought that it could still be exploited because even one luck point is insane. Three luck points of someone were able to accrue three luck points per day, that's insane. I don't think you should be allowed to do both
Starting point is 00:25:38 because then it can be where you could end up with six. I think that's a simple fix. And I think it is at the DM's discretion, if your player seems like they are asking for a lot of checks. It's like if you're gonna allow this at your table, you just have to be vigilant. And the table that you trust, you could do this. I think, I mean, you guys should do a cheeky little try, wouldn't you? Everyone's in a while.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Maybe a cheeky little try. You do a little cheeky try. I think that it's hard, right, because I do want the liberty to ask to roll for stupid checks, right? But then if I crit on one, then it would be like, oh, fuck, I was just doing a bit by doing this roll. So it would put me in a position that.
Starting point is 00:26:17 You know what, you know what another thing that bumps me is that I don't like that there's no kind of in-game explanation for it? I guess luck points doesn't have as much of a thing, but just the idea that you do really awesome at something, and then that would apply to something else later. Kind of just feels a little anti-climactic. There is no rationale for the actual role play.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I think it's a made item or something that was ring of the fates or something that in all did A. If got a natural 20 you could store it in the ring you just do it once I love it Put it in in one and it needs to be at like a moment where the ring feels that it matters It's got to be like high emotion hearts beating it matters. So that way players can't cheese it It's at the DM's discretion if you wanted you coulda to, I don't think it should be this, but something like an attack roll, or something like that, so that it is,
Starting point is 00:27:10 it's a roll that has stakes, but that feels too bad. I mean, I'm not saying that, because that's too hard. I like what Merv's saying about like treating it like a divine object or something like that. Something given to a certain cult or church, this is like an object bestowed with the power of their deity. And it's used at the DM's discretion because of that.
Starting point is 00:27:29 I think that's really sick. I will also say, yeah, as this home brew is written, I feel like I don't like it because I do think that you should live or die by your dumb nat 20s. Like if you were all a nat 20 on, yeah, smelling your own fart and it smells so good that you instantly pass out, you just love it. I think that's what I was gonna say is like,
Starting point is 00:27:49 when I first heard it, I was like, oh, this is awesome. But then I realized actually, it would be kind of a bummer to like crit on something stupid and then decide not to get on it. Yeah, right, like when Beverly Crit on the Werther's check, that would just become like a luck point later on and it could be like, oh, a five turns into a 17.
Starting point is 00:28:10 So it's something that succeeds, but it doesn't create like a moment that everybody laughs about forever, you know? I do think that you've thought of a lot of ways to try to balance it. I think that unfortunately, I just, I think I like Stupid, not 20s, unfortunately. I like it as a ring though, that's really good.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah, many ideas try to capitalize or improve on the, on the critting on the not 20 and I do feel like that's, I don't know. It's kind of, it's flawless. Yeah, it really is perfect. And it's, even in its flaws, really, like, add to its perfection. Yeah. And a ring is fun because if you're playing at home, you can actually go out and you can
Starting point is 00:28:51 buy your player a ring. And then you can present it to them at the table. And you can propose to them. You just have to get it sized. Yeah. So I will say, yeah, I'm out on this idea, but I will invest if Coltwell flips tails. That's right. Oh, right, yeah. That's right.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Oh, right, yeah. Let's get out. Can we get, yeah, like a plate or something? Coming to America. Sorry, I got your feet. Oh, great. Great. Great.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Great. Great. Why? Do you have that? It's a screener. It's an Amazon screener. I see. My wife's in the guild, baby.
Starting point is 00:29:22 He's flipping it. Great. And it fell. Hit the microphone. that's good. Hit the microphone again. It was coming to America side up, head side up. Okay. So, I don't know what that means because I wasn't listening, but congratulations. I think the version I like the most is Murph's pitch, which is, it's just an item. It's for someone who has some kind of patron or divine thing, or the item is attached to
Starting point is 00:29:43 something that is like the embodiment of luck or something and it's just one. I think it just, you put one in it. And maybe it's even instead of a luck point, it's just a nat 20 that you can then use later. But it has to be a nat 20 that comes at a cost. Like it has to be a good heightened moment. Yeah, you have to like choose to fail something.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Yeah, essentially. And you can only do it once. So I'll low ball you with just a few eggs. With just a few million eggs. Just a few million eggs. So like those eggs look rotten. There's some of these eggs are rotten. I'm gonna come at you straight.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Those are greasy eggs, man. How long have those eggs been in your fridge? They've been here for a long time. But I do think- They're not even frozen. I do think together, together we can get this business going. I think this idea is all yours. Moving on to our next hatchling, Chris.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Chris writes, greetings, turtles. Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish more things were as cool as monks catching projectiles out of midair and sending them back to whence they came? Interesting. Honestly, yes. I come to you with a new action for spell combat. Redirect.
Starting point is 00:30:50 It's simple. If a spell attack misses by more than 10 or an opponent saves by more than 10 versus spell save DC, set opponent can redirect the spell to affect another creature within range. I'm open to ways of balancing this further. Wow, so it's a collaborative partnership. Maybe limiting this legendary creatures and burning a legendary resistance as part of the inputs as this is basically a more controlled version of the terrasks
Starting point is 00:31:14 carapace. But I think we can all agree that more anime moments of catching something just to throw it at something else is a win for everyone. I ask for a mere five total eggs delivered to my factory in the upper deck of Ralph Wilson Stadium in Buffalo, New York for 49% of this idea. Thanks for listening. Keep chortling. Exo Chris. You know what? I was I was inspired by Merff's last pivot to make it like just for one person. I would say this if you gave this as like an item to your sorcerer or something like that. Oh, yeah, almost like a different metamagic thing. Yeah, that's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Something like that. There is a spell that Murph gave me from a Miroslav's magic manual. Oh, and that's like from an old version or is a home brew. That is something similar to this. And it was real. What the hell is this called?
Starting point is 00:32:07 It was real. It was called Spellsteel, is what it was called. Spellsteel. Yeah, there's a home brew spell that already kind of does this. Interesting. It is Spellsteel is a very sick name. This always reminds me of the moment when Gohan rebounds that attack
Starting point is 00:32:25 and hits Vegeta with it during the first Dragon Ball Z arc. And it's the sickest moment, and it only works because it's hardest true. And I think so there's a lot of ways to flavor it. This could be a paladin thing if you want. This could definitely be a sorcerer thing. So I don't even know if it needs to be bound to an item specifically, but I think you can flavor this however you want
Starting point is 00:32:46 It's it's a really hot idea. I think you just wouldn't want it to be table wide I don't think you'd want it to be ever. I think it would either be like one bad guy that they come up against or One player who can do this I told a reaction Number of times of their proficiency or something like that. Yeah, this was like a Number of times of their proficiency or something like that. Yeah, this was like a class ability. I would totally take this class because it's really sick. I could imagine playing with that. So, a steel spell?
Starting point is 00:33:13 Was that it? Spell steel or something like that? Yes. I could be really happy. I'm gonna read. Spell, wipe this version that I see on the D&D with an S. It's a third level spell.
Starting point is 00:33:23 You cast it as a reaction. You attempt to steal the magic of a spell from a creature as it is releasing. If the creature is casting a spell of second level or lower, you automatically steal the spell. You can cast this spell normally without expanding a spell slot once within the next 12 hours or until you take a log rest,
Starting point is 00:33:38 whichever comes first after which the stolen spell is lost to steal a third level spell or higher. You have to succeed. It's basically like counter spell. So you only hold one at a time. So it's essentially like, you don't cast it right back, you take it and you store it. But like, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:33:54 It just seems cool. Which I think is maybe a neater way to do it and a more balanced way to do it. Yeah, then having to worry about how much you missed it by. I do agree, I do agree that monks having like a catch projectile thing is super cool, but that's just one of the cool things about being a monk. And monks don't do as much damage as like fighters
Starting point is 00:34:12 and things like that. That's kind of, you need that to make them special. Don't take it away from us monks. Don't take it away from the monks. Let the monks be more than just a stun spammers. Although stunning someone is the best feeling. We did want to get. Very much agree.
Starting point is 00:34:27 So yeah, I think I might elect to do steel spell over this. Also, I think one thing that bumps me a little bit is just that when I visualize somebody missing by a lot, it means that the fireball is nowhere near where the person is. So then bouncing it back kind of bumps me. It's like a I don't know imagination control freak way. I think sorcerers are a little under-service. So I feel like if you have a sorcerer who wants a little
Starting point is 00:34:56 something special maybe you could just get this little spell steal thing like and they can use it per long rest according according to their, like that many times, equal to their proficiency. It's kind of just a different counter spell, and counter spell is one of the most fun spells to cast. Yeah, exactly. So just giving somebody another option for a counter spell, and it comes at a price,
Starting point is 00:35:14 like you have to use a third level spell, and you might fail, so that feels good, and it maybe feels less arbitrary than if they miss by a lot. So instead of counter spell, it's a redirect spell. Yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's story spell. To me personally, one of the reasons I really liked it flavor-wise is I thought it seemed really sick
Starting point is 00:35:34 to cast other people's magic, like having people's magic come out of your hands. You know, like that's just seemed really awesome to me. Yeah, they're down to workshop it, so I want in and I want to workshop it. And I'll probably just steal Emily's idea and do like the, using it as a class ability or something. Could we make this an ex-merwitz Tanner production though?
Starting point is 00:35:58 Just like all going on. Okay, maybe we're all in. I personally am just gonna contact the creator of Spellsteel and go into business against you guys Market is flooded Yes to be sure There is already a creator of that home brew so actually I feel like this is um legally dodgy All right, so we already absorbed Emily
Starting point is 00:36:22 All right, so we already absorbed Emily. That would have been absorbed. Wow. I'm going to be coming out with a rival spell called Spell Scrump, which is where you just you slurp up a spell. Cool. And I'm sliding into financial ruin buried in legal fees. And I will never climb out of this hole. So I'm in.
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Starting point is 00:37:56 Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Our next hatchling, Brian, Brian L. writes, Hello, esteemed totals. I'd like to present to you the memory mage. The memory mage is an NPC your party can encounter that offers to exchange a memory of theirs with one of your player's memories. The players can choose a proficiency,
Starting point is 00:38:20 spell, background skill, et cetera, to sacrifice to the memory mage. The player then gets to roll a D100 plus a bonus depending on the potency of the sacrifice. The memory mage gives you a new trait based on the result of the D100. This gives players a chance to change their traits and opens the floor for storytelling. The memory that is sacrificed. I'm offering this homebrew for the memory of having one million moist eggs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha once, like I think that I would take out the D100. Yeah, the D100 is kind of confusing to me. I feel like if you're willing to kind of trade a proficiency.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah. I think I'd be hesitant to like let go of something I know that I have that's good to like roll the dice and see if I get something. Yeah, but everyone's gonna be like, take my survival, take my survival, give me a persuasion. But I think people should be able to do that, especially even just once in a campaign,
Starting point is 00:39:29 that still feels like a fun person to encounter. And it's like, hey, here's a chance. You've always been trying to get good at this thing. Like you always wanted to be good at it. Yeah, if somebody's like kind of a charlatan and they're like, instead of persuasion, I want to be more insightful and afraid your persuasion for your insights.
Starting point is 00:39:45 And then that does bring up character stuff later and you could always bring that mage back as sort of somebody who's a bad actor or something like that, that'd be fun. Fun way to see to villain. Oh, that's cool. Is it a choice that you make, like you trade something for something else
Starting point is 00:40:01 or is it randomized? I was having trouble understanding that part. I think it'd be more satisfying as a player to choose, because you're choosing which memory you're sacrificing. So it should be. It sounds like you choose, but there was something with potency? Was the thing?
Starting point is 00:40:15 Well, the player gets to roll a D100 plus a bonus depending on the potency of the sacrifice. So, like if you give up like a third level spell or something, I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me. I think I just like the simplicity of like, it wouldn't it be fun if when your characters are at level 10, they meet someone who lets them try to out something that feels like they've outgrown it. Yeah. In favor of something that it feels like they're growing towards it. This is the move tutor from Pokemon, where you can
Starting point is 00:40:41 like go and like say that your Kangaskhan has fury swipes, but you don't want it to have fury swipes anymore. You can switch it out for a new ability. Yeah. If you want to get rid of growl and go with another ability or something like that, or you made your Kangaskhan your H.M. slave and you regret that. Yeah. But it's even like you never know like someone might start out like being really good at
Starting point is 00:41:02 deception, but maybe their character found like finds a god that they're devoted to and actually they want to be better at you know religion or something like that. Like after you know 10 levels in I feel like it's a nice way to honor that people are changing. Yeah I dig this and it is also like you can play it either way like this can be just like a pure beneficial exchange or this can be some sort of freak that's like compiling memories and is gonna do something evil with them. It's really up to you. Oh yeah, the character of Memory Mage is somebody
Starting point is 00:41:32 that's like kind of fun to role-play and introduce as well. And like maybe a circle back, that's super cool. There's one version that's like very simple and it's like, oh, let's help the characters tell their story and then there's one that's like sinister monkeys, let's help the characters tell their story. And then there's one that's like sinister monkeys, Poffa. Well, I love the idea of it being a BBEG type character who offers you this. And then based on what you give up, they become a villain that uses that.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's, that's one. You know, you'd need, uh, for some reason, you'd need deception checks to be able to get into their lair or something like that. And it's hard to do that now because you don't have proficiency in that. But they sort of base their stuff around your weaknesses. Or even just like, yeah, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Or even they just someday use your memories against you. Yeah. Or if you like, forget, if you give up the ability to drive a car or something like that, they run over you with a car later. Yes, exactly. That's precisely it. I'm trying to think what would I give up? I'm like, I can't really write cursive that well, but I would like trade that, you know? Oh, you're talking about you, Jake.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Yeah, yeah, just me. I've actually been really into writing cursive. Oh! It's like a really satisfying thing for me. Really? All right, so you're not touching that. So I'm not touching that. I think though, thing that's like bumping me a little bit
Starting point is 00:42:52 is that it doesn't actually feel like character growth if you give up the memory of it though. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's gotta be a little bit of a sinister thing, because there's nothing like cool or good about just like erasing things from your brain. Yeah. Like I guess you could, yeah, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:43:11 even with a bad memory, I guess, taking it out would be good, but that's just- But not even that, because then you grow from that. Then you just pretend it didn't happen, is strange. I do feel like to take this gamble, the thing that you are trading it, like, well, so basically, if you need to make it a little more sinister,
Starting point is 00:43:28 which I agree that it does. Yeah, if you're taking memories, yeah. Then it needs to be more powerful. You couldn't just be like, okay, I'll forget how to survive in nature for an exchange for my charisma or whatever. Yeah. It's almost like a cursed item.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Like, yeah. Yeah, it needs to be a malevolent mind-mage, not a merry mind-mage. The sweet innocent version of this would be like a proficiency pruner. It's like a little druid who clips a little here to inspire growth here. That's the sweet innocent version in which people are just growing, but they don't take anything other than those proficiency points. But the memory mage is meaner. Yeah. There's more fucked up. Yeah. other than those proficiency points, but the memory mage is meaner.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Yeah, there's more fucked up. Yeah, if the mage is taking the full on memory, something has, something the various has to be at work. Oh, you can give proficiency for expertise in something else. Wow. And I take your memory, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:17 And so that then your players are thinking, wow, we're really getting away with something, huh? And then you can welcome with it somehow later. Yeah, that's cool. That's interesting. I like that. There is a way to do it that's just nice where there's just an NPC that can essentially train you
Starting point is 00:44:32 through psychic magic that allows you to have feel like you've already studied something. Oh, just the giving you memories. Yeah, which is kind of, would be interesting. What I'm hearing here is this is two ideas for the price of one. So like, whatever happens, like, we're walking away with a freaking bargain on our hands.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Yeah. I like a memory campaign. I think that's a fun vibe. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fun vibe. I like it too. I think I'm in.
Starting point is 00:44:57 I'm spraying eggs across this entire ring right now. Here's a fucking arm full of moist eggs for you. Yeah. Yeah. I got a freaking backhoe full of eggs. I'm dumping them all over you. I think I like the kind of themes here. I like the idea of a memory mage, but again, I think this maybe isn't cooked enough for my eggs. So if you guys like to roll it out between you guys. Yeah, all right. Yeah, let's go into business together,
Starting point is 00:45:22 but I think I wanted all for myself. Let's roll. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, I actually got an 18, but I think you want it more. So I'm in a role of disadvantage. Okay. I got a now 20. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:36 You can start it later. Now, my idea is different. My name is the proficiency pruner, and she's a sweet druid who prunes you for new growth. Emily, I changed my mind and I'm willing to go into business together. Okay, okay, let's see that then. Great, I rolled a three.
Starting point is 00:45:54 I rolled a net one and I'm just not noticing that all my eggs are just painted rocks. I don't know how long they've been painted rocks but all my eggs are rocks. I don't really see that over here. I mean, maybe you're a rock and so you're giving birth a little rock. Your problem is that you didn't flip a DVD.
Starting point is 00:46:07 That's true. That's true. To see if you want to. It's 50% chance. I should have just flipped this no time to die DVD, you're right. Yeah. The dice feel the sheen of Gucci on your fingers and they're insulted.
Starting point is 00:46:18 OK. I was, were you going to say what it was? Were you going to say something about the DVD, Coldo? No, I'm done. Okay, I was gonna say it was Heads of Tales, weren't you? Yeah, no, he showed it to us. It was the cover of the DVD. It was Heads, there was no time to die, he had to up.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Yeah, but we hadn't, we hadn't put any stakes attached to the head door of the tale, so we just got to flip it and see which way it was. To be fair, I said it about for it. Okay, I think we have time for one more idea. This one's a brief one. This one comes from our hatchling Austin J and Austin writes, we have a home rule in which if you bring snacks
Starting point is 00:46:56 to the game, your character gets a point of inspiration. It has started kind of a cold war between the various bakers in our group trying to one up each other and they are making way too many cookies and treats, but is that really a problem? No. That's a problem at all. It fully depends on what time you're playing, because if this is like a after dinner
Starting point is 00:47:16 session and everyone's just like settling in for a treat, that's great. But like if you're playing at around like six or seven and you're just like, you're just having treats, like you're going gonna get a sugar crash real bad. So I think that like, it needs to be a full potluck situation here is what I'm saying. Guess I have a confession. Yeah. I played a whole campaign in which inspiration was a thing.
Starting point is 00:47:37 I don't know what it is. What is it? What is inspiration? It's just a advantage, right? No, I don't know. No? I think it's almost like a bar. I know that I've heard the phrase point of inspiration a bunch,
Starting point is 00:47:48 and I don't know how to use it. I guess I just imagined it was like adding a digit or something, and you could accrue them. Okay, God, what is it? Fuck. Okay. We are. I'm on dicecove.com.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Inspiration, D&D5, the explained. Oh, God, am I gonna read an article out? Out loud, inspiration, game, game, game. How about we flip the DVD? Heads you, read it, tells you don't. Yeah, not, please. I got the Aretha Franklin Bio-Pick. Do you want me to flip that one?
Starting point is 00:48:18 Oh, no, it is with advantage. So it's just advantage. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, all right, you were right. I love this. I think you're your. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. All right. You're right. Um, I love this. I think you're your swimming, you're swimming and treats. This sounds great. So basically everyone gets a luck point if they, if they bake something. Well, okay. So inspiration. Is it like a luck point? Because a luck point is you reroll something. Oh, it's a disadvantage. Sorry. I think I didn't know how to say I'm gonna, I guess you're just like, I'm gonna use my
Starting point is 00:48:47 inspiration and then you roll with advantage. And then you roll with advantage. And I'm feeling inspired, so I'll roll with advantage. But does it have to be the next roll? All right, Emma, are you giving spoilers out that you don't ever use your advantage in an upcoming season or something? I don't know if I get it a lot. I just remember it being said and being like,
Starting point is 00:49:06 I really should ask. Like, I'm gonna file that away and then forget to ask between seconds. Is that what happened? Interesting. Okay, interesting. So it's advantage, yeah. Okay, I love this.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Your drown in in treats. That's great. There's really no downside. It sounds like you have too many treats. So why don't you just shovel those baked goods into the tank? Oh, that's nice, I'm feeling hungry. You'll have a take them.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yeah, it can just get good and sour in here. Get soggy and suck up, take some tank. I think as someone that doesn't really cook, I feel like this should be extended and you should get a point of inspiration if you bring napkins or paper plates. This is what I'm saying, is to avoid redundancies. You should be able to dole out certain responsibilities.
Starting point is 00:49:49 If I go and pick up a bag of tostitos, I get a point and also if someone bakes cookies for two and a half hours that day, they would say, you got a point. Yeah. If I show up with ice. So I think it's gonna break this rule. The thing I'm curious about is that it sounds like there's like a little bit of a baking arms race, which begs the question is only one person, the person who brings the best
Starting point is 00:50:12 food, getting the inspiration. That's kind of a great way to... That, oh no, that's devastating. Because then you just, you just, you discourage the jakes of the world from abusing the system. I'll just, I just pick up Levain. You show up just with toilet paper. And I noticed you were low last time. I saw you were low last time.
Starting point is 00:50:32 I up-indexed your toilet. That's advice for life. If you just show up instead of with like a bottle of wine, if every time you go to somebody's at like party or something, you just bring them a bunch of bowls of toilet paper. It's kind of nice. I would appreciate it. It is. There are very few households that of folds of toilet paper. It's kind of nice. I would appreciate it. It is. There are very few households that wouldn't use toilet paper.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah. I think it's a great move. So use that for life. Yeah. I think as the DM, yeah, just like make everyone your personal door dacher. Yeah. How's that for being class? You show up to a dinner party with a fucking, with a 16 pack of.
Starting point is 00:51:04 I knew you were gonna get too much wine. So here is the best toilet paper money can buy. Whoa, this is two-pig. I spent more on you than you would spend on yourself. Right, I'm sorry, but this costs $18. How much did that trader Joe's wines cost? I think that's great. Great house tour again.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Two-pig jug versus $18.64 roll toilet paper. They don't sell this in stores. I had to get this personally crafted. I know a toilet paper crafter. Okay, so I guess I'm in as long as we tweak this to anyone who brings toilet paper. Yeah, also is inspiration. And also it's helpful around the house. They bring you like some cutlery or something. That's the kind of value ad that the tortoise
Starting point is 00:51:49 bring to the tank, you know. Everyone needs to show up at your house with a baked good or a receipt for the value of the thing that they have purchased. And then you will personally ascertain how much each one costs and assign inspiration based on that price value. And that is gonna make you a lot of friends
Starting point is 00:52:06 and you're gonna have a good night. I love when we pivot and just get really bad advice. I don't think, well, people would think you were weird, but it is objectively good to bring toilet paper. But then, okay, do you really wanna wipe yourself? Do you wanna think about your friend when you wipe yourself? Because... I wouldn't think about them.
Starting point is 00:52:23 I would just be... Really? I would? I wouldn't think I would be nice. I think about y friend when you wipe yourself because I wouldn't think about them. I would just be, I would. I wouldn't I think I would be nice. I think about y'all on the toilet. Yeah, I think I, yeah, I would think it was nice. If I was wiping my butt with something that Murph gifted me, I've absolutely texted all of you while shitting.
Starting point is 00:52:36 So like, yeah. Is that, how is that different from thinking about you? That's true, that's true. I guess it's like that, you know when you use something that someone gave you, you have like that sweet moment of like gratitude for the friendship. Do you want that while you're wiping yourself? I think so.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Especially if you really, if you ball out and get the good, that double ply, you get that thick paper. I think we're gonna start a great- Shivering with pleasure. We're gonna start a great trend because as soon as somebody gives it to you, then that's gonna make you think,
Starting point is 00:53:03 wow, I almost ran out of toilet paper. But then Jay came over and brought me a bunch of toilet paper. Now next time I go to a call-doll house, I'm going to bring a bunch of toilet paper for them. Hashtag, Torotles for toilet paper. Hashtag toilet paper. Hashtag toilet paper. Torotles for toilet paper.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Remember to cut your rolls though so the turtles don't get stuck. That's right. That's right. Cut your rolls. Do you think that somebody sells toilet paper that has like roll for advantage written on it and like the roll is like a toilet paper roll? Yes, okay.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Yeah, probably. All right, so I'm gonna need to get that delisted from our store. Or one of those, yeah. Doily dollies that you put to make your toilet paper more modest. I gotta be honest, I don't love the merch toilet paper.
Starting point is 00:53:44 I wouldn't wanna like rub ink in my butt. That's true. What if it was like allowing, though? Allowing ink? Yeah, it was healing ink. All right. Yes, yes. I remember.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Great, we found it. We got more fun board. Yeah, I think we're all in on this idea. This is the type of home stuff that we don't get to do on our show. The idea is bring it snacks and get inspiration. Right. But we can't do that because we...
Starting point is 00:54:09 Well, I guess we could do it. No, we can't do it because can you imagine if like hard one saved Gemma because you brought cookies? Oh, yeah. Like we can't do it in our show. But this is the type of stuff that's nice about home games. It's you're not held to like audio. Like we basically make an audiobook every other week.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Can I just say that? Can I just say that I don't think you should do this because as someone who can't cook, this gives me so much anxiety to think about. But it would be so fucked up if you just gave inspiration to the person who brought the best food. Yeah, that's dangerous. I don't advise that.
Starting point is 00:54:46 It'd be so fucked up. It's dangerous, but fun, because you are just having a British bake off every time before you play. That could be what's going on. There is a cold war. I don't know if it's just a pride thing of people want to have the best snacks.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Yeah, it's probably just people getting inspiration. This is why I think there needs to be a stipulation. You need to have like a sign-up sheet before each session where it's just like, all right, this is what we need. You got a potluck style this and then I'm in. Right, and with your basic household items, like I need dishwasher pods.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Right, yeah, I need toilet paper. Again, just making your friends your door that church. Basically build like an Amazon fresh cart, but then send it out to your friends. And just be like, do you want inspiration, question mark? Yeah, I hope no one has to go number two at my house tonight because I don't have toilet paper. It doesn't matter if you're the paper.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Do you guys want to roll? I think we're all in on this, right? Yeah, we're all in on this. Let's go and do a roll. Goddamn, I have a number 18. Oh my God, that's 20. Oh, shout out to the two crew. Wow.
Starting point is 00:55:44 I'm taking this business. I love it. Let's do that. Let's use this business to pivot hard into bringing the paper to people's parties That is a catch. Oh, everyone loves it If you want to raise your paper towels as well It's not everybody loves it But we've never tried it Everyone well You have to know the people quite well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:08 But then you can be, you're the funny guy and the thoughtful guy. That, oh, what a beautiful combo. What a beautiful combo. Do you roll up with it like unwrapped or is it like in a, is it wrapped up as your bubble? It's like you've got a six pack of beer.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Yeah. It's just very casual. You could get a little six pack holder and it's just toilet paper. Yeah, it's a six pack holder full of toilet paper. I'd be delighted. Yeah. And when you take an X shit, you're thinking, man, you better be like, show up like Riggins to a party after a big Dylan Panthers game, except you got a six pack of toilet paper. People would be like, yeah, I guess. I think it's like a toilet paper. People would be like, yeah, I guess. I mean, back.
Starting point is 00:56:44 You saved me a trip. We could all shit now. Sweet, all right, guys. I think let's go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be doing hearing some more home brew from Hatchlings over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash nad pod.
Starting point is 00:57:00 That's any DDPOD don't sing yet. We don't do it. Please don't do it. Please don't do it. Sorry about that. I have something to plug. Yeah. This book I read, Vita Nostra, it was super trippy,
Starting point is 00:57:12 and I don't even fully understand it. And I just got a real kick out of it. Yeah, and was googling the meaning of her book for a while. Yeah. I love that. It's really obtuse, really abstract. It really was a fun read to just drop into something that was so aesthetic and incomprehensible.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Vita Nostra? Yeah. That's almost. Yeah. Does anybody have anything else I'd like to plug? I'll plug our live shows because I think I've heard tell that our show in Vancouver and New York are both sold out, which means only Toronto is left. Toronto remains.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Toronto.com slash live and try to see us in Toronto if you can. Come see us in Toronto. We've got more stuff coming up too. So, we'll get a look out. Catch me at Honest Eds. That's a place I know about from Scott Pilgrim, but it seems cool. Great me at Honest Ed's. That's a place I know about from Scott Pilgrim, but it seems cool. Great.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I would love to plug Sanna Khan's World of Worts. It's a Zene I bought a couple months ago. Their handle is at pencil.stabber. And it's literally just like a little Zene of like a frog having adventures and saying little quotes. Like, I'm perfectly comfortable, thanks. I can be a sucker for punishment. And it's like a little frog balancing on a ball. It's really cute.
Starting point is 00:58:28 It's kind of like, it was like a little foundational inspiration point for building Saul's character, so thank you, Sonic Con, for this cool little scene. Cool piece. Very cool stuff. Sweet guys, you can follow us on social media. TherryMirror may not use, AdCH MerfsMe, at ColdiesColdle, at A Extra Zemily, and at CheekHerrtsisJake,
Starting point is 00:58:45 and you can tweet about the show using hashtag nadpod, that's NADDDPOD. We are the youth of the nation, we are the good generation. Ah, it's time to thank our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. QC, later Mick Skater, Matt M. Jordan D.J. Cutter W. Daniel G. Dylan B. Who is missing
Starting point is 00:59:16 his own D&D game to see Nadpod live in LA. Dungeon Mama, Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Scott D. Danny P, Michael Mick D. Vincent W. Miss Ture Cole, Victor T. Boulnour's boy, forever Dominic Person Andrew B. Justin I. Ragnar, Ferredwin T.J. M. Trayle, the Cray Faye, Jared E. Christopher B. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, the head chef at a little place called Manja's Richard X Machina, Michael L. Taylor S. Calum L. Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C. Thaddeor Lee Gladiator. Nice. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Way cooler than Angry Wheat, Adam G, Tyler F, Fost the Feisty, Panama James, Andrew the Bard, nope sorry, just Andrew the Druid here, Adrian the Halfling Bordefacer, Calder's other
Starting point is 01:00:13 helm which is possessed by the spirit of El Che Guevara. Wow, good stuff. Captain, sigil, Diana de las Lopez, CC Lulu, Michelle O, Hercules Poiro the Rabbit Folk detective Timmy R. Croc O'Holic Lucas B. Rayco It's Kevin and here it comes. Colders Coldcom hashtag Rise My Comrades Spread The Com Rotary, New York, Taylor B, the vengeful one-winged angel, Sick Name, Cass, skateboard Cass, Steven C, Michael M, Mike K, Lady Taco, Brian G, Joy T, Nara, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, Esme M, Foster the boneless duck, Aaron the asshole ranger, Big Bad, Beard of the Mad, Eric McD, Giant Monsters, on the horizon.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Galad Rosel, the White Rose of Galatoron, Christian A, J. Dragonborn, Joro the Inna Pro Pro, Liam D. the Sandrayan, Ben A. Feldonis, John the Third, Dave H. Vivian, Koala Bear, Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Conor F. Hawkeye Pierce, bookvars assistant Izzy F. Wood L. Theron, who is desperately trying to fix his oath bow. Kat C. Kelsey J. Pork Chop. Misha Helt T.A, the Lacey Raptor, Beppercay Always, Beppercay Always, nailed it. Pat L, a Chuta A, Lauren H, Ryan S, the Bone Duster, the Charming Fluff, Robert Crisp, Telekitty Creations, Fan Illustrator, Insert, Request, okay. Let's do the, um, the Calder Cali Barrel role scene.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Love to see it. Plops, Carly A, Addy K, AP, Cleric, Laurie P, those who love and give where they can. Murf the Nerf mascot, Grant El Conor Savage, Christopher J. Pebblepot, wire dragons, amazing music, musicians, they know their skills. Nice! Celil Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Remington, C, D, Amber Dextrous, Kai, the Ham Sandwich, Sullivan, H, Trub, Hop, Dropper, Sydney T, Jack, H, Strong, Caltwell, Conspiracy, Theorist, good stuff.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Nice to have a believer. Fondere, the She-W of winter. Garble the moist. Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi and their tiefling barbarian essence. Question mark? Champ W. Vailin, beep barbarian, bastard baby of Brian and Brennan. Good stuff. Carl and C. Stan, the dragon man,
Starting point is 01:02:58 holder of too many bags. Emily, S. T-R-I-P. Harry Cox. I see what you did there. Noah, the bagel of all things. Justin, LB, Tori, Levi L, Pendergreens, Pungent, Pudding, Hashtag, CCC, Hashtag, Slanging, Rope, Bunny, Marcos, P, Pup, Kalish, learns the balance, Druid, Dakota, J, P, Frida, M,
Starting point is 01:03:22 Pagos, the self-proclaimed Faye Prince, Tracy P, the Crick Elf, Librarian, Ryer, Frisit, Andi, Y, Hali, Hyena, Kristen, Z, the I will use what you love against you DM. Good stuff, tough stuff. Liyasi, Page H, Helen of Briz, May B stars Akash T. Kristen with a K. Cal just Cal. Commodore Galaxy Edison N. Russell H. A monk named Dillgo. Yes the whole thing. Yes every time. Zero parody.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Nio's the novice monster hunter. Our new friend Simon, we all had a crazy shared dream and he was in it too. We sang one big bed. It was nice and weirdly familiar. Laura Lai, F, Morgan, M, A peeling sticker, oh my goodness, you hate to see it. Steven, E, Sydney, and Andrew L, Meg, the mail carrier of Bohumia, James F, Cappin, Cappy, M4L, Wayfairer, currently in a trademark dispute with mothership over the patent on the SS Storm Bjorn Godspeed, Andrew B. Cope
Starting point is 01:04:25 Fresh, Barpo Good Barrel, Bard Barian and Brewer Emeritus of Waterdeep, Welsh Lander, Garrett G. One Big, Curred, Eric M. Mr. D. Sean J. Mr. Silly Head, Ethan B. Monster Captain, Rene S. Hopes Dagger, the only dagger of hope. Olivia the enchanting bard who will totally be making money and a grand novel off the duck team with an on-the-go all the stops. Show, you know it. Blue slayed the artificer. Michaela R. Riley S. Sir Sig 93.
Starting point is 01:04:56 FICO, angry wheat. The game itself on a shelf. Tony G. Corbos' calamitous com shot. Hashtag CCC forever. Sorry Jake, don't be sorry, okay. Josh H. Jack, the Jack's jinks and rogue in search of Bohumi's biggest balls. A horse killed by hard ones, sorry about that. Mango, empanadas, rented mules, mystical, mustaolata,
Starting point is 01:05:19 trogdor, the burninator, clementine tea, Caleb, L.S. Obey,Qwan, Simone Bird Life M, Pixie The Calpy, Can Trip, Dumbledore The Bear, One Z-Waring Barbarian, with Bad Luck. Quirtis W. MJ, who sings both parts of Evan Essences, Camden L. and finally Samantha K. Thank you all.

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