Not Another D&D Podcast - Tortle Tank: Character Tarot, Redirected Spells and the Great Inspiration Bake-Off
Episode Date: September 1, 2022Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Torts take a l...ook at some, dice-heavy damage mods, a way to store nat 20's AND invent a revolutionary new way to flip coins. Let's dive right in!Production and Editing by Trevor LyonAnd support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
I cannot chortle. I cannot chortle. Oh, thank you for putting that in my head. I will be saying thank you throughout.
I'm choking on air bubbles and laughing so much.
On the show, we'll hear pitches from players and DMs with unique homebrew ideas
and we, Tortles, decide which ones sink and which ones swim.
Please allow me to introduce our talented tech of Tortles. They are Brian Murphy,
the no-chortles-tortle.
I'm not here to chortle.
And William Axford, the epitome of tortitude.
Thank you very much for having me, Shell.
Called well, Tanner, the turtis who puts fun furthest.
Let's put the fin back in financials.
Okay. And I am Jake, the good sport tort.
So with that, let's dive in to the turtle tank
with a pitch from our first half leg.
You guys ready?
Sploosh!
I'm ready.
It's sploosh, disgusting.
Sploosh, not sploog, good.
Well, I haven't heard the pitch yet.
Andrew O.C., right?
Greetings esteemed turtles. Today I'm presenting heard the pitch yet. Andrew OC writes, greetings esteemed totals.
Today I'm presenting the Oracle's shop.
In addition to providing your typical divination spell services,
identify, augury, et cetera,
visitors to the shop can have their fortune told for a small 10 gold fee.
The fortune telling consists of laying out three tarot cards,
representing the character's past,
present, and future. The first two give the player the opportunity to explore their past and present
circumstances while the future card activates a first-level spell that will take effect at some point
over the next day at the DM's discretion. These spells are associated with the meaning of the card
and include spells such as bless, bane, comprehend, language, and gift of alacrity.
Okay.
Thus far, the resulting readings have been potent
and unnervingly accurate.
With your eggs and support, we will be able to expand
to create an unrivaled, multi-dimensional,
oracle business dynasty.
Okay.
The tank's boiling. This is hot shit.
One of the reasons I love this is that I feel like
a lot of the oracular spells like
augurty can feel very frustrating because the DM doesn't know how the dice are going
to favor or curse you so they can't always give you an accurate read.
So having this tarot card where the future thing is a spell is something that is going to
come into play feels very satisfying for me.
This just seems airtight across the board.
Like you get, it's just a buffet.
You're getting like a little like backstory flavor
with your character because you flip that card.
You get like how you're feeling in the present.
And then you also get like, you know, either a boon or a bane,
depending, I just think that like it's a one-stop shop
for like all of your character development needs.
The thing I'm a little curious about is you're saying backstory, but it's a one-stop shop for like all of your character development needs. The thing I'm a little curious about
is you're saying backstory,
but it's a randomly flipped card.
So are you coming in like being like,
okay, this is actually gonna add
a new shade of backstory to the character
or do you have like already stuff that you know
and you kind of shoehorn it in?
I'd be kind of in favor of it.
If since it is a randomly flipped card, I'd be in favor of it. If since it is a randomly flipped card,
I'd be in favor of it.
To play no-chordal advocate,
I am a little confused on some of the theming of it.
Of like, right, like talking about like,
how do you draw randomly from the past?
Although I guess you could do,
you could do as if it's a tarot card reading
on the actual character.
So if this, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's the intention. Okay, it's a tarot card reading on the actual character. So if this... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's the intention.
Okay.
It's a tarot card.
So your character, theoretically, you've like developed a backstory.
So it's almost like a nice way roleplay wise to like let some of that come out in random
roleplay.
It's like this could come out during the tarot session.
I'd say that this would play out the best in terms of backstory.
It's going to play out the best if you don't have that locked in stone,
if you do have that locked in stone,
then the cards coming over kind of feels pointless
because you already know what you're gonna say.
But I really like the future one.
And I like the present one
because it can give you a shade of what's going on.
I think it's something that you don't put in every town.
I think it's something that is like a special one-off
that is in a certain
town that you go to that happens to be very clairvoyant.
Yeah, like Portland.
Yeah.
Only put in Portland.
Yeah.
It's still working in Portland.
It's not going to fly in Chicago.
It's not going to fly in Chicago.
No, no, no, no, no, no, sorry.
It feels like this would be fun if the DM was good at giving a tarot reading.
I would be like, oh yeah, I'll sit down for like a hard one sure foot tarot reading.
That sounds cool.
Right.
I'd love to see that.
Yeah, it would have to be coming from someone that lived in Portland to me.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
I would need to have gone to stump town previously so that I could get like some coffee and
be I could really charged up for this tarot card reading.
Shout out PDX for sure.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay. I'll be on a bike.
That's my Portland reference.
Oh, and my uncle Bob will be there.
Not too loud.
He's doing the reading.
He's.
Yeah, I think that I really like the identify thing, right?
Because that's such a fun thing.
Augury, again, I feel like it can be hard
because sometimes they're asking questions about will this be successful?
I don't know if you're dice roll well. The thing I like the most is I like the identifying
I also like it's almost like a gamble. Let's take a gamble. See what card comes up whether or not you're gonna have a good day
Right? You're either blessed or you're bane. It feels very feels very simple and kind of fun. Yeah, mm-hmm
I do like this idea.
I think it has potential,
but I think maybe for me, for my eggs,
it's not fully cooked yet.
I think it's a soft scramble.
It's a soft scramble.
I don't know that it's completely there for me.
Your eggs are runny over this idea.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna invest any eggs in this,
but I don't even know what notes I would give.
I guess my, again, my only thought is that
it just, the future stuff feels a little bit arbitrary.
I like the future stuff.
It's kind of like a gamble, right?
Like, is today gonna be good or is today gonna be
a little hairy?
I can see the situation where you're up against
some sort of a pack of thieves or pirates
or like the big bad, and like you totally forgotten about that tarot card
and then all of a sudden it's like,
oh, you like you trip on a stone
as you're like running to like launch your attack
and you have bane cast on you or something like that.
But that's, but that's also could be something that.
So then the card like caused that to happen.
It didn't predict your future.
Like you tripped on a rock.
Well, it's, it's the way that.
I think it's fake.
I think it's like you're predicting a little bit of your fate.
I guess that's what I'm confused about.
Yeah, because there's not really a future prediction
in a game where you're rolling dice all the time.
And this is a way to have.
There are those spells though that do predict the future
and just acquire your DM to give you answers.
So I guess my question is.
But I think that those are hard, right?
Will I have a good fight against the big bad?
You, the DM can't say whether or not I'm gonna roll three
and that one.
But if you ask a tarot card, you could interpret that in a way
that's honestly probably clearer than you would
in a normal conversation.
I just think it's cool to have cards.
I think it's cool to have cards.
I agree that it's cool to have cards.
I'm saying, if Bane is randomly cast on you,
when, for instance, you trip over a rock or something,
yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Bane feels kind of harsh.
But I guess, I guess if the DM is literally being like,
cool, this card is gonna give you Bane or bless,
and then specifically cooks it so that later,
you meet like a necromancer or something.
Yeah, there's, I mean, there's ways to have...
I mean, but it could also be sick though, right?
Because you could ask the DM, not know how it's gonna play, right?
You're like, what's your future?
The death card comes up.
Okay, does that mean that in the future,
you just have like a resurrection
or a revivifying your future?
Does it mean that something, you know,
like you could kind of ask the DM be open?
Yeah, I get, I see where it's Harry.
How I would use it is I would just use it as a silly stop
that like in Hot Boy Summer, everyone had drama over.
Like it feels like a fun way to identify.
It feels like a fun way to have a little bit of,
hey, you can gamble on if you're gonna have
a good day or a bad day.
And I would probably also like, especially with
Hot Boy Summer, like we don't go to in depth with your characters. you're gonna have a good day or a bad day. And I would probably also like, especially with a hot boy summer,
like we don't go to in depth with your characters.
It's something that sure,
maybe I would do that backstory.
And then I'm like, I'm sitting there,
I pull up a card for you.
Okay, actually there's this little nugget
in your backstory that we've never talked about.
Yeah, although maybe that feels a little invasive
to the player,
because then the player might be like, wait, what?
Yeah, but if they're asking for a terror reading,
Joe, Joe, Joe, then you are kind of saying.
Terror is inherently a conversation.
So like if you're having that conversation with your DM,
like you're kind of like flushing out backstory
at the table a little bit, which can be fun.
And you're like letting the card be like kind of a learning tool for it.
I'm all on board for this.
Past, called well, present, called well, and future,
called well, all really dig this idea.
So I will be investing a three times multiplier
of my eggs.
Amazing.
All right, done.
Three times one.
So three.
So purchased.
I think that it's going to grow three times.
This is what's going to happen is I'm going to invest my eggs
and we're going to see three times growth yield on this.
And if you don't know what that means,
and I guess go back to business school.
Emma, are you bidding?
You know, a call will came in so hot
that I'm just, I'm coasting.
I'm coasting in the tank.
I'm swimming in the corner.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You look sick.
You're swimming upside down.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
All right, let's get onto our next hatchling.
This idea comes from Best DM James.
And they write, get your eggs ready,
turtles, because if you ever played a spellcaster,
you'll want to get in on this cantrip buff.
Okay.
I'm tired of only combat cantrip scaling as you level up.
Why is Firebow doing 4d10? Well while Mage Hand and Guidance are just as powerful as if they
were cast by a lowly apprentice.
Take my eggs!
No more will utility be sideline at level 11 when attack cantrips are 3 times as powerful
utility cantrips now only cost a bonus action
cast.
This allows creative castings and makes these cantrips that are often forgotten at this level
of play a viable option in place of their destructive counterparts.
Only drawback is giving Emily more ways to want portal for you, D.M.
So a controlling share.
I'm asking for 500 million eggs to my dear.
You came up with the idea.
And one really nice egg for me.
Thank you for your time, Tordals.
This is a scrumptious idea.
I love it.
Take my eggs.
Yeah, this is great.
I think I wouldn't necessarily default to a bonus action
for every single one of them.
For example, Maychan, it's very simple
to just increase the weight that it can hold.
Yes.
Which seems sicker to me than,
like bonus action, Mage Hand,
I think is an art canter thing.
So it feels a little weird to give that to everyone,
but I feel like increasing the amount it can carry
could lead to some really creative stuff with Mage Hand.
Do you think there's a version of it
where you actually get to do damage with your Maychan?
Like it almost evolves into a Big B's hand at some point.
I don't think, I mean, then you're just stepping on Big B's hand.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to step on Big B.
I was actually, I think it's like,
it's, it's, it's would end up having applications
some more and more, you were adding weight to it.
Yeah.
Or distance, you could cast it.
And you know, it would be a small scaling thing,
but yeah, so I think that,
I think not necessarily bonus action for every utility,
but I think there's lots of cool ways that you could do that.
Yeah, and maybe it gets more dexterous too,
so you could like play the piano during battle
or something like that.
Whoa.
That's what I've been waiting for.
That's always been my one note in playing D&D.
So I go over to the piano and begin playing a John T. Tunes.
That's gonna be your entire action.
F***!
You could just play a bard and then you can do that.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah, so Mage Hand, yeah, can carry 10 pounds.
I do feel like that would solve a problem that frequently happens with players where
it's like,
I wanna use madechants to,
and they always wanna do something cool with it,
but that doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, I mean, just from like a fun play standpoint,
like, you know, leveling up and doing cooler shape
with your cantrip, like what happens to those spells
as you become more and more powerful?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a fun thing to explore.
It is tricky because, as Merv mentioned,
I find my lip ceiling, I find almost a lack of a chortle
entering my beak and it feels strange to me,
but there are a lot of like built-in abilities
for this already, like with minor illusion,
if you are a school of illusion wizard,
you get an upgraded version of minor illusion
where you can do images and sounds at the same time.
So it seems like a lot of this stuff is, it might be stepping on other classes a little bit.
I think I like it. I think it seems fun. The only problem is that, will they then be too powerful
out of combat? That I don't know, and that is something I'm willing to just put all my eggs in
and play to us. I think that's the sounds fun to do. Yeah, on first, listen, hearing about the bonus action idea
seems a little bit arbitrary, but it does kind of give it a clean
just, you know, for something like spare the dying.
You don't want to have it also start to heal you.
But if spare the dying becomes a bonus action,
then it becomes useful without being overpowered.
That's pretty sick.
So it is kind of a nice blanket thing.
But I do, I mean, maybe you could take it
on a case by case basis, up things like the weight
of Mage Hand, things like guidance,
maybe you could turn it from a D4 to a D6
or something like that.
Oh.
I like it.
This is something that I would gladly
fucking rigorously play to.
I like the bones of this.
I like the bones of this. I like the bones of this.
Why rigorously?
Because it would be super fun to just play
with a bunch of slightly beefed up cantrips.
Yeah, it's just day seven of your playtests
and everyone's begging to go home.
So I think-
And it's just me and my cats.
I will bid on this.
I'll bid the 500 million that you're asking
What?
Me versus you they were asking for 500 million 500 million in one actually
I'm gonna be 500 million to two okay special egg. Yeah, I'm gonna be 500 million one and offer to play test it because I think
I'll be a really good play tester because I will find the cracks
And I will stick my finger in.
Great.
I think, I think M's maybe a,
wait, but Murf, why don't we go in on it together?
It can be an Axmer Murphy on this person.
Great, an Axmer production.
Okay, okay.
Okay, we're going in together.
We're going in together.
Actually, and just as a pure spoil sport,
I'm gonna go ahead and bid on this too
because I've never seen Emily and Murf
so excited about something.
I have to have it.
I think we could safely say we get to roll with advantage
because Anne's helping me.
For sure, yeah, you guys get to roll with advantage.
Okay, we'll both roll.
Okay, tell me what you got.
I got an eight.
18.
I got a 10.
This idea is in its rightful place.
All right.
Oh my God.
Very exciting.
Welcome to the family hatchling.
Yeah, I just needed to make it interesting.
Okay.
Our next hatchling,
Jean Philippe H. writes,
Hey there, centaurs.
Didn't quite get them one moment.
I like the call back.
Howdy. I would like to present to you my homebrew modifier dice during an attack,
ability check, or saving throw. Instead of adding a simple boring modifier, you roll an extra
dice. For example, plus one is a D2, plus two is a D4, plus three is a D6, et cetera. Oh, you can even add a third dice for your proficiency.
For a negative modifier, you subtract your modifier
instead of adding it.
This may seem like a big change,
but statistically, it would change your average role
by less than one.
I ask the turtles for a simple owl bear egg
for my breakfast tomorrow.
This is my first thing that I don't like about it,
and this is so stupid of me. I don't like the D2.
Have you seen a picture of a D2?
I just, I, oh wait, you're way, actually,
I don't have a problem with it, it's just flipping a coin.
Okay, that's much more satisfying.
It's flipping a coin or it's a D4 or a one, two.
Yeah, there's also a prototype of a D2 online
that looked very cool.
I prefer people at my table flip a copy of D2
of the mighty ducks the Mighty Ducks.
Oh my God.
That's title guard is heads and then the reverse.
Yeah credits and blurb on the back, that's gonna be tells.
They say that the ducks are back.
And they're rollerblading.
That's so.
I think that's D3, but.
Does it DVD or VHS?
Actually, it tells rules, whatever you have on hand, but I think VHS is gonna give you a chunk of your role
and I prefer the VHS.
It's gonna break.
Definitely gonna break.
Definitely gonna break.
Good break your VHS.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, you need to have more than one copy of D2
if you're playing D&D.
Isn't sad, I've never flicked a DVD like a coin.
Is it satisfying to do?
Has anyone here done that?
Can't say I have.
I've, I've, I've,
Jake or Codwell. I guess I have you I have. I've... Jaker called well.
I guess I have you done that.
I guess I've dropped one before.
Yeah, I've never intentionally flipped a DVD like a coin.
And I don't have any DVDs in my house that I could use.
Hold on, I got some DVD screeners. I'll go grab them real quick.
Okay, yeah, please do.
You know, I don't know. It's just, I don't know that that's necessary.
Is this, this is a total tank thing that Koldwell leaves to go get two sided things for a bit.
That's not for you.
Yeah.
He's always gone for an extended period of time.
Like he's still gone.
Yeah, so he's gonna come back.
He's back.
He's gonna come back.
He's gonna flip it.
That was pretty cool.
Doesn't have the case.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm back.
I got House of Gucci.
House of Gucci, okay.
I'm gonna give House of Gucci a flip.
Okay. Let me call it heads. No. Sorry'm gonna give you how's the Gucci flip. Okay.
Let me call it heads.
No.
Sorry, shiny side, that's tails.
Great.
Well, you do it flipping it with your thumb.
Yeah, okay, hold on, I'm gonna flip it with my thumbs.
All right, then I get to call it again.
I'm gonna put my thumb knuckle in the little hole
in the center.
Aladdin Gaga.
Great heads.
That's saying heads, that's how you say it.
God, God be with me.
Okay. Cool. You dropped it. Landed saying heads. That's how you say heads. God got me with me. Okay.
Cool.
Drop it.
Land it on the floor because it bounced off my microphone.
Good stuff.
Did it land on heads or tails on the floor?
This is sick.
Murph, we should start incorporating a DVD that we flipped during.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, this is awesome.
It was heads by the way.
It was heads.
Gucci side up.
That's awesome.
The people at home can't see it.
Not it. We, I'm sorry.
We'll start doing it for our video episodes for Dungeon Cork.
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
I think I think I'll bring House of Gucci next time.
I think I see where those persons coming from.
Like it's fun to add more probability, but I think I like having my modifiers.
I fucking earned them.
It's too many dice. Too much confusing. Too much confusing. I like this in theory. Like when I first read it, I fucking earned them. It's too many dices. Too much confusing. Too much confusing.
Yeah. I like this in theory.
Like when I first read it, I was like,
oh, this is awesome. I like rolling dice.
It's more dice. But then when you realize
how often modifiers come into play,
it's a lot of dice shuffling.
I every time I try to act too much,
I feel like you start to become numbed
or rolling too much, which is why I like when like a DM
will be like, we'll just use the roll you got from before.
Because it's like, yeah.
Also, all this does is it adds rolls to a time
when you're already rolling.
Because it's not like this is spicing up something.
It's just, you're already making an attack,
you're already about to roll the D20.
Now instead of adding plus seven,
you add plus five, and you have to roll a D4
to see what you're adding to the D4.
You're rolling out to see what you add to another roll.
It's many days.
The consistency of modifiers,
they're like the foundation upon which you play.
You know, unfortunately,
I'm putting my, I'm freezing my eggs on this one.
You're freezing your eggs.
Wow.
I like the spirit of it because adding more dice
and really more dice is fun,
but you're also accidentally adding more math,
which is an issue.
No!
I don't know, because rolling damage for a fireball
or something is really fun.
Like rolling like a big handful of dice is awesome.
What doesn't do it for me,
what doesn't do it for my eggs is that in this case,
it's just, it's for a separate role.
It's to see what you apply to a different role, which is just a little confusing and it's not very neat.
I think the only way that I like this, just trying to give them something, because they just
ask for one albeir egg. And like, that's affordable. That's not even our species. That's like nice startup,
yeah. Yeah, that's, but I know some albears and they, they would give me an egg if I really needed
it.
Yeah.
I would do an egg exchange.
Maybe there's something here with like the coin flip aspect of it where it's like you
almost are gambling.
You mean the DVD flip?
The DVD flip.
Yeah, it's maybe there's something with the DVD flipping aspect of it.
You can either take your damage bonus modifier or your modifier as stated
or you can do a coin flip
and either lose your damage modifier or double it
or something like that.
And I feel like this would need to be like
a special circumstance.
Yeah.
But at this point, this is like such a different idea
that I'm just gonna keep it for myself and marketed
and not put any eggs in.
I could fuck around with this for a day
but maybe not for all time, too much math for me.
And for that reason, I'm out.
I am out, but I do like that.
You got us to a place where we were flipping a Lady Gaga DVD.
So thank you very much for that.
Yeah, thank you for the Lady Gaga.
Thank you for the submission.
As a way to sing, thanks.
I am going to flip the Gucci dice again.
That's awesome.
Just to see, just to see if I'm going to go in on this.
Yeah, that's awesome. Just to see, just to see if I'm going to go in on this. Yeah. You're that's awesome.
Was so dead inside.
This is one of the worst five gas vids ever.
Because we look at see it.
Yeah. It is something that is like a court.
So it's just flip a good coin on a pie.
Right. Well, I'm announcing the results.
This is good radio.
Cold will do you have a different DVD you could go get?
That would be it is it is Gucci side up. So we are all investing. We do all actually
end up investing. That's awesome. That is all. The more coin flipping we could do on
those five tasks the better. And if it's just like if it's like a cracker and there's
like one side that's salty or the other side's not. That's fun. Because I can flip it and
I can say I can say salty it. And I could say,
we're meant to be.
We're meant to be.
We're meant to be.
We're meant to be.
We're meant to be.
I could say salty side up.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it.
And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a home would see it. And no one in a minutes. Okay, okay, next one, next one. Okay, moving on.
John McCee writes,
Hey, Tortles, my pitch is simple, stored NAT 20s.
Ooh.
If you ever roll a D20 and you get a natural 20 during the game,
the player can choose to convert that roll
into a luck point to be used later.
The player then rolls again and takes the new role,
whatever it is.
This can be applied to advantage, but not disadvantage,
unless both roles are nat 20s,
in which case one is converted to a luck point
and the other taken as the role result.
Luck points work the same as normal luck points,
but you can only accumulate maximum of three at one time
from this feature to prevent luck point farming.
It's not designed to replace the lucky feet
and you can have both abilities.
Now you're not 20 on a random perception check
to see if the campsite is level or something
is no longer wasted on a less important role
but can be banked for a critical moment later.
Oh, okay, first off, love.
This is a minefield.
Love that you're thinking.
Love that you're ahead of the luck point farmers
because there would be.
It still doesn't prevent luck point farming
because you can sit there and you can be like,
yeah, can I do a perception just to see if my part smells
right now?
Yeah, cool.
Let me go ahead and I failed.
I really want to smell my fart again.
And that's a five.
I really would love to see.
Yeah, I had the same thought that it could still be exploited
because even one luck point is insane.
Three luck points of someone were able to accrue
three luck points per day, that's insane.
I don't think you should be allowed to do both
because then it can be where you could end up with six.
I think that's a simple fix.
And I think it is at the DM's discretion, if your player seems like they are asking for a lot of checks.
It's like if you're gonna allow this at your table,
you just have to be vigilant.
And the table that you trust, you could do this.
I think, I mean, you guys should do a cheeky little try, wouldn't you?
Everyone's in a while.
Maybe a cheeky little try.
You do a little cheeky try.
I think that it's hard, right,
because I do want the liberty to ask
to roll for stupid checks, right?
But then if I crit on one, then it would be like,
oh, fuck, I was just doing a bit by doing this roll.
So it would put me in a position that.
You know what, you know what another thing that bumps me
is that I don't like that there's no kind of
in-game explanation for it?
I guess luck points doesn't have as much of a thing,
but just the idea that you do really awesome at something,
and then that would apply to something else later.
Kind of just feels a little anti-climactic.
There is no rationale for the actual role play.
I think it's a made item or something that was ring
of the fates or something that in all did A. If got a natural 20 you could store it in the ring you just do it once
I love it
Put it in in one and it needs to be at like a moment where the ring feels that it matters
It's got to be like high emotion hearts beating it matters. So that way players can't cheese it
It's at the DM's discretion if you wanted you coulda to, I don't think it should be this,
but something like an attack roll,
or something like that, so that it is,
it's a roll that has stakes, but that feels too bad.
I mean, I'm not saying that,
because that's too hard.
I like what Merv's saying about like treating it
like a divine object or something like that.
Something given to a certain cult or church,
this is like an object bestowed with the power of their deity.
And it's used at the DM's discretion because of that.
I think that's really sick.
I will also say, yeah, as this home brew is written,
I feel like I don't like it because I do think
that you should live or die by your dumb nat 20s.
Like if you were all a nat 20 on, yeah,
smelling your own fart and it smells so good
that you instantly pass out, you just love it.
I think that's what I was gonna say is like,
when I first heard it, I was like,
oh, this is awesome.
But then I realized actually,
it would be kind of a bummer to like
crit on something stupid and then decide not to get on it.
Yeah, right, like when Beverly Crit on the Werther's check,
that would just become like a luck point later on
and it could be like, oh, a five turns into a 17.
So it's something that succeeds,
but it doesn't create like a moment
that everybody laughs about forever, you know?
I do think that you've thought of a lot of ways
to try to balance it.
I think that unfortunately,
I just, I think I like Stupid, not 20s, unfortunately.
I like it as a ring though, that's really good.
Yeah, many ideas try to capitalize or improve
on the, on the critting on the not 20
and I do feel like that's, I don't know.
It's kind of, it's flawless.
Yeah, it really is perfect.
And it's, even in its flaws, really, like, add to its perfection.
Yeah.
And a ring is fun because if you're playing at home, you can actually go out and you can
buy your player a ring.
And then you can present it to them at the table.
And you can propose to them.
You just have to get it sized.
Yeah.
So I will say, yeah, I'm out on this idea, but I will invest if Coltwell flips tails.
That's right.
Oh, right, yeah. That's right.
Oh, right, yeah.
Let's get out.
Can we get, yeah, like a plate or something?
Coming to America.
Sorry, I got your feet.
Oh, great.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Why?
Do you have that?
It's a screener.
It's an Amazon screener.
I see.
My wife's in the guild, baby.
He's flipping it.
Great.
And it fell. Hit the microphone. that's good. Hit the microphone again.
It was coming to America side up, head side up.
Okay.
So, I don't know what that means because I wasn't listening, but congratulations.
I think the version I like the most is Murph's pitch, which is, it's just an item.
It's for someone who has some kind of patron or divine thing, or the item is attached to
something that is like the embodiment of luck or something
and it's just one.
I think it just, you put one in it.
And maybe it's even instead of a luck point,
it's just a nat 20 that you can then use later.
But it has to be a nat 20 that comes at a cost.
Like it has to be a good heightened moment.
Yeah, you have to like choose to fail something.
Yeah, essentially.
And you can only do it once.
So I'll low ball you with just a few eggs.
With just a few million eggs.
Just a few million eggs.
So like those eggs look rotten.
There's some of these eggs are rotten.
I'm gonna come at you straight.
Those are greasy eggs, man.
How long have those eggs been in your fridge?
They've been here for a long time.
But I do think-
They're not even frozen.
I do think together, together we can get this business going.
I think this idea is all yours.
Moving on to our next hatchling, Chris.
Chris writes, greetings, turtles.
Have you ever thought to yourself,
I wish more things were as cool as monks catching projectiles
out of midair and sending them back to whence they came?
Interesting.
Honestly, yes.
I come to you with a new action for spell combat.
Redirect.
It's simple.
If a spell attack misses by more than 10
or an opponent saves by more than 10
versus spell save DC, set opponent
can redirect the spell to affect another creature within range.
I'm open to ways of balancing this further.
Wow, so it's a collaborative partnership. Maybe limiting this legendary creatures and burning a legendary resistance
as part of the inputs as this is basically a more controlled version of the terrasks
carapace. But I think we can all agree that more anime moments of catching something just
to throw it at something else is a win for everyone. I ask for a mere five total eggs delivered to my factory in the upper deck of Ralph Wilson Stadium in Buffalo, New York for 49% of this idea.
Thanks for listening. Keep chortling. Exo Chris. You know what? I was I was inspired by
Merff's last pivot to make it like just for one person. I would say this if you gave this as like
an item to your sorcerer
or something like that.
Oh, yeah, almost like a different metamagic thing.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Something like that.
There is a spell that Murph gave me
from a Miroslav's magic manual.
Oh, and that's like from an old version
or is a home brew.
That is something similar to this.
And it was real.
What the hell is this called?
It was real.
It was called Spellsteel, is what it was called.
Spellsteel.
Yeah, there's a home brew spell that already kind of does this.
Interesting.
It is Spellsteel is a very sick name.
This always reminds me of the moment
when Gohan rebounds that attack
and hits Vegeta with it during the first Dragon Ball Z arc.
And it's the sickest moment,
and it only works because it's hardest true.
And I think so there's a lot of ways to flavor it.
This could be a paladin thing if you want.
This could definitely be a sorcerer thing.
So I don't even know if it needs to be bound to an item
specifically, but I think you can flavor this however you want
It's it's a really hot idea. I think you just wouldn't want it to be table wide
I don't think you'd want it to be ever. I think it would either be like one bad guy that they come up against or
One player who can do this I told a reaction
Number of times of their proficiency or something like that. Yeah, this was like a
Number of times of their proficiency or something like that. Yeah, this was like a class ability.
I would totally take this class because it's really sick.
I could imagine playing with that.
So, a steel spell?
Was that it?
Spell steel or something like that?
Yes.
I could be really happy.
I'm gonna read.
Spell, wipe this version that I see on the D&D
with an S.
It's a third level spell.
You cast it as a reaction.
You attempt to steal the magic of a spell
from a creature as it is releasing.
If the creature is casting a spell of second level
or lower, you automatically steal the spell.
You can cast this spell normally
without expanding a spell slot once within the next 12 hours
or until you take a log rest,
whichever comes first after which the stolen spell is lost
to steal a third level spell or higher.
You have to succeed.
It's basically like counter spell.
So you only hold one at a time.
So it's essentially like, you don't cast it right back,
you take it and you store it.
But like, yeah, exactly.
It just seems cool.
Which I think is maybe a neater way to do it
and a more balanced way to do it.
Yeah, then having to worry about how much you missed it by.
I do agree, I do agree that monks having
like a catch projectile thing is super cool,
but that's just one of the cool things about being a monk.
And monks don't do as much damage as like fighters
and things like that.
That's kind of, you need that to make them special.
Don't take it away from us monks.
Don't take it away from the monks.
Let the monks be more than just a stun spammers.
Although stunning someone is the best feeling.
We did want to get.
Very much agree.
So yeah, I think I might elect to do steel spell over this.
Also, I think one thing that bumps me a little bit
is just that when I visualize somebody missing by a lot,
it means that the fireball is nowhere near
where the person is.
So then bouncing it back kind of bumps me.
It's like a I don't know imagination control freak way. I think sorcerers are a
little under-service. So I feel like if you have a sorcerer who wants a little
something special maybe you could just get this little spell steal thing like
and they can use it per long rest according according to their, like that many times,
equal to their proficiency.
It's kind of just a different counter spell,
and counter spell is one of the most fun spells to cast.
Yeah, exactly.
So just giving somebody another option for a counter spell,
and it comes at a price,
like you have to use a third level spell,
and you might fail, so that feels good,
and it maybe feels less arbitrary
than if they miss by a lot.
So instead of counter spell, it's a redirect spell.
Yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's story spell.
To me personally, one of the reasons I really liked it
flavor-wise is I thought it seemed really sick
to cast other people's magic,
like having people's magic come out of your hands.
You know, like that's just seemed really awesome to me.
Yeah, they're down to workshop it,
so I want in and I want to workshop it.
And I'll probably just steal Emily's idea
and do like the, using it as a class ability or something.
Could we make this an ex-merwitz Tanner production though?
Just like all going on.
Okay, maybe we're all in.
I personally am just gonna contact the creator
of Spellsteel and go into business against you guys
Market is flooded
Yes to be sure
There is already a creator of that home brew so actually I feel like this is um legally dodgy
All right, so we already absorbed Emily
All right, so we already absorbed Emily. That would have been absorbed.
Wow.
I'm going to be coming out with a rival spell called Spell Scrump, which is where you just
you slurp up a spell.
Cool.
And I'm sliding into financial ruin buried in legal fees.
And I will never climb out of this hole.
So I'm in.
Let's do it.
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Our next hatchling, Brian, Brian L. writes,
Hello, esteemed totals.
I'd like to present to you the memory mage.
The memory mage is an NPC your party can encounter
that offers to exchange a memory of theirs
with one of your player's memories.
The players can choose a proficiency,
spell, background skill, et cetera,
to sacrifice to the memory
mage. The player then gets to roll a D100 plus a bonus depending on the
potency of the sacrifice. The memory mage gives you a new trait based on the
result of the D100. This gives players a chance to change their traits and
opens the floor for storytelling. The memory that is sacrificed. I'm offering
this homebrew for the memory of having one million moist eggs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha once, like I think that I would take out the D100. Yeah, the D100 is kind of confusing to me.
I feel like if you're willing to kind of trade a proficiency.
Yeah.
I think I'd be hesitant to like let go of something I know
that I have that's good to like roll the dice
and see if I get something.
Yeah, but everyone's gonna be like,
take my survival, take my survival, give me a persuasion.
But I think people should be able to do that,
especially even just once in a campaign,
that still feels like a fun person to encounter.
And it's like, hey, here's a chance.
You've always been trying to get good at this thing.
Like you always wanted to be good at it.
Yeah, if somebody's like kind of a charlatan
and they're like, instead of persuasion,
I want to be more insightful and afraid
your persuasion for your insights.
And then that does bring up character stuff later
and you could always bring that mage back
as sort of somebody who's a bad actor
or something like that, that'd be fun.
Fun way to see to villain.
Oh, that's cool.
Is it a choice that you make,
like you trade something for something else
or is it randomized?
I was having trouble understanding that part.
I think it'd be more satisfying as a player to choose,
because you're choosing which memory you're sacrificing.
So it should be.
It sounds like you choose,
but there was something with potency?
Was the thing?
Well, the player gets to roll a D100 plus a bonus
depending on the potency of the sacrifice.
So, like if you give up like a third level spell
or something, I don't know.
It doesn't make any sense to me. I think I just like the simplicity of like,
it wouldn't it be fun if when your characters are at level 10, they meet someone who lets
them try to out something that feels like they've outgrown it. Yeah. In favor of something
that it feels like they're growing towards it. This is the move tutor from Pokemon, where you can
like go and like say that your Kangaskhan has fury swipes, but
you don't want it to have fury swipes anymore.
You can switch it out for a new ability.
Yeah.
If you want to get rid of growl and go with another ability or something like that, or you made
your Kangaskhan your H.M. slave and you regret that.
Yeah.
But it's even like you never know like someone might start out like being really good at
deception, but maybe their character found like finds a god that they're devoted to and actually they want to be
better at you know religion or something like that. Like after you know 10
levels in I feel like it's a nice way to honor that people are changing. Yeah I
dig this and it is also like you can play it either way like this can be just
like a pure beneficial exchange or this can be some sort of freak that's like compiling memories
and is gonna do something evil with them.
It's really up to you.
Oh yeah, the character of Memory Mage is somebody
that's like kind of fun to role-play and introduce as well.
And like maybe a circle back, that's super cool.
There's one version that's like very simple
and it's like, oh, let's help the characters
tell their story and then there's one
that's like sinister monkeys, let's help the characters tell their story. And then there's one that's like sinister monkeys, Poffa.
Well, I love the idea of it being a BBEG type character who offers you this.
And then based on what you give up, they become a villain that uses that.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's, that's one.
You know, you'd need, uh, for some reason, you'd need deception checks to be able
to get into their lair or something like that.
And it's hard to do that now because you don't have
proficiency in that.
But they sort of base their stuff around your weaknesses.
Or even just like, yeah, that's interesting.
Or even they just someday use your memories against you.
Yeah.
Or if you like, forget, if you give up the ability to drive a car
or something like that, they run over you with a car later. Yes, exactly.
That's precisely it.
I'm trying to think what would I give up?
I'm like, I can't really write cursive that well, but I would like trade that, you know?
Oh, you're talking about you, Jake.
Yeah, yeah, just me.
I've actually been really into writing cursive.
Oh!
It's like a really satisfying thing for me.
Really?
All right, so you're not touching that.
So I'm not touching that.
I think though, thing that's like bumping me a little bit
is that it doesn't actually feel like character growth
if you give up the memory of it though.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like it's gotta be a little bit
of a sinister thing, because there's nothing like cool
or good about just like erasing things from your brain.
Yeah.
Like I guess you could, yeah, I don't know,
even with a bad memory, I guess,
taking it out would be good, but that's just-
But not even that, because then you grow from that.
Then you just pretend it didn't happen, is strange.
I do feel like to take this gamble,
the thing that you are trading it,
like, well, so basically,
if you need to make it a little more sinister,
which I agree that it does.
Yeah, if you're taking memories, yeah.
Then it needs to be more powerful.
You couldn't just be like, okay,
I'll forget how to survive in nature
for an exchange for my charisma or whatever.
Yeah.
It's almost like a cursed item.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, it needs to be a malevolent mind-mage, not a merry mind-mage.
The sweet innocent version of this would be like a proficiency pruner.
It's like a little druid who clips a little here to inspire growth here.
That's the sweet innocent version in which people are just growing, but they don't take
anything other than those proficiency points.
But the memory mage is meaner.
Yeah. There's more fucked up. Yeah. other than those proficiency points, but the memory mage is meaner.
Yeah, there's more fucked up.
Yeah, if the mage is taking the full on memory,
something has, something the various has to be at work.
Oh, you can give proficiency for expertise
in something else.
Wow.
And I take your memory, right?
Yeah.
And so that then your players are thinking,
wow, we're really getting away with something, huh?
And then you can welcome with it somehow later.
Yeah, that's cool.
That's interesting.
I like that.
There is a way to do it that's just nice
where there's just an NPC that can essentially train you
through psychic magic that allows you to have feel
like you've already studied something.
Oh, just the giving you memories.
Yeah, which is kind of, would be interesting.
What I'm hearing here is this is two ideas
for the price of one.
So like, whatever happens, like,
we're walking away with a freaking bargain on our hands.
Yeah.
I like a memory campaign.
I think that's a fun vibe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a fun vibe.
I like it too.
I think I'm in.
I'm spraying eggs across this entire
ring right now.
Here's a fucking arm full of moist eggs for you.
Yeah.
Yeah. I got a freaking backhoe full of eggs. I'm dumping them all over you. I
think I like the kind of themes here. I like the idea of a memory
mage, but again, I think this maybe isn't cooked enough for my eggs. So if you guys
like to roll it out between you guys. Yeah, all right. Yeah, let's go into business together,
but I think I wanted all for myself. Let's roll.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Okay, I actually got an 18, but I think you want it more.
So I'm in a role of disadvantage.
Okay.
I got a now 20.
Yeah.
You can start it later.
Now, my idea is different.
My name is the proficiency pruner,
and she's a sweet druid who prunes you for new growth.
Emily, I changed my mind and I'm willing
to go into business together.
Okay, okay, let's see that then.
Great, I rolled a three.
I rolled a net one and I'm just not noticing
that all my eggs are just painted rocks.
I don't know how long they've been painted rocks
but all my eggs are rocks.
I don't really see that over here.
I mean, maybe you're a rock
and so you're giving birth a little rock.
Your problem is that you didn't flip a DVD.
That's true.
That's true.
To see if you want to.
It's 50% chance.
I should have just flipped this no time to die DVD, you're right.
Yeah.
The dice feel the sheen of Gucci on your fingers
and they're insulted.
OK.
I was, were you going to say what it was?
Were you going to say something about the DVD, Coldo?
No, I'm done.
Okay, I was gonna say it was Heads of Tales, weren't you?
Yeah, no, he showed it to us.
It was the cover of the DVD.
It was Heads, there was no time to die, he had to up.
Yeah, but we hadn't, we hadn't put any stakes
attached to the head door of the tale,
so we just got to flip it and see which way it was.
To be fair, I said it about for it.
Okay, I think we have time for one more idea.
This one's a brief one.
This one comes from our hatchling Austin J and Austin writes,
we have a home rule in which if you bring snacks
to the game, your character gets a point of inspiration.
It has started kind of a cold war
between the various bakers in our group
trying to one up each other and they are making way too many cookies and treats, but is that really
a problem?
No.
That's a problem at all.
It fully depends on what time you're playing, because if this is like a after dinner
session and everyone's just like settling in for a treat, that's great.
But like if you're playing at around like six or seven and you're just like, you're just
having treats, like you're going gonna get a sugar crash real bad.
So I think that like, it needs to be a full potluck situation
here is what I'm saying.
Guess I have a confession.
Yeah.
I played a whole campaign in which inspiration was a thing.
I don't know what it is.
What is it?
What is inspiration?
It's just a advantage, right?
No, I don't know.
No? I think it's almost like a bar.
I know that I've heard the phrase
point of inspiration a bunch,
and I don't know how to use it.
I guess I just imagined it was like adding a digit
or something, and you could accrue them.
Okay, God, what is it?
Fuck.
Okay.
We are.
I'm on dicecove.com.
Inspiration, D&D5, the explained.
Oh, God, am I gonna read an article out?
Out loud, inspiration, game, game, game.
How about we flip the DVD?
Heads you, read it, tells you don't.
Yeah, not, please.
I got the Aretha Franklin Bio-Pick.
Do you want me to flip that one?
Oh, no, it is with advantage.
So it's just advantage.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, all right, you were right. I love this. I think you're your. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. All right. You're right. Um, I love this.
I think you're your swimming, you're swimming and treats. This sounds great. So basically everyone
gets a luck point if they, if they bake something. Well, okay. So inspiration. Is it like a
luck point? Because a luck point is you reroll something. Oh, it's a disadvantage. Sorry. I think I
didn't know how to say I'm gonna, I guess you're just like, I'm gonna use my
inspiration and then you roll with advantage.
And then you roll with advantage.
And I'm feeling inspired, so I'll roll with advantage.
But does it have to be the next roll?
All right, Emma, are you giving spoilers out that you don't ever use your advantage in
an upcoming season or something?
I don't know if I get it a lot.
I just remember it being said and being like,
I really should ask.
Like, I'm gonna file that away and then forget to ask
between seconds.
Is that what happened?
Interesting.
Okay, interesting.
So it's advantage, yeah.
Okay, I love this.
Your drown in in treats.
That's great.
There's really no downside.
It sounds like you have too many treats.
So why don't you just shovel those baked goods
into the tank?
Oh, that's nice, I'm feeling hungry.
You'll have a take them.
Yeah, it can just get good and sour in here.
Get soggy and suck up, take some tank.
I think as someone that doesn't really cook,
I feel like this should be extended
and you should get a point of inspiration
if you bring napkins or paper plates.
This is what I'm saying, is to avoid redundancies.
You should be able to dole out certain responsibilities.
If I go and pick up a bag of tostitos, I get a point
and also if someone bakes cookies for two and a half hours
that day, they would say, you got a point.
Yeah.
If I show up with ice.
So I think it's gonna break this rule.
The thing I'm curious about is that it sounds like there's like a little bit of a baking
arms race, which begs the question is only one person, the person who brings the best
food, getting the inspiration.
That's kind of a great way to...
That, oh no, that's devastating.
Because then you just, you just, you discourage the jakes of the world from abusing the system.
I'll just, I just pick up Levain.
You show up just with toilet paper.
And I noticed you were low last time.
I saw you were low last time.
I up-indexed your toilet.
That's advice for life.
If you just show up instead of with like a bottle of wine, if every time you go to somebody's
at like party or something, you just bring them a bunch of bowls of toilet paper.
It's kind of nice.
I would appreciate it. It is. There are very few households that of folds of toilet paper. It's kind of nice. I would appreciate it.
It is. There are very few households
that wouldn't use toilet paper.
Yeah.
I think it's a great move.
So use that for life.
Yeah. I think as the DM,
yeah, just like make everyone your personal door dacher.
Yeah. How's that for being class?
You show up to a dinner party with a fucking,
with a 16 pack of.
I knew you were gonna get too much wine.
So here is the best toilet paper money can buy.
Whoa, this is two-pig.
I spent more on you than you would spend on yourself.
Right, I'm sorry, but this costs $18.
How much did that trader Joe's wines cost?
I think that's great.
Great house tour again.
Two-pig jug versus $18.64 roll toilet paper.
They don't sell this in stores.
I had to get this personally crafted.
I know a toilet paper crafter.
Okay, so I guess I'm in as long as we tweak this to anyone who brings toilet paper.
Yeah, also is inspiration.
And also it's helpful around the house. They bring you like some cutlery or something.
That's the kind of value ad that the tortoise
bring to the tank, you know.
Everyone needs to show up at your house
with a baked good or a receipt for the value
of the thing that they have purchased.
And then you will personally ascertain
how much each one costs and assign inspiration
based on that price value.
And that is gonna make you a lot of friends
and you're gonna have a good night.
I love when we pivot and just get really bad advice.
I don't think, well, people would think you were weird,
but it is objectively good to bring toilet paper.
But then, okay, do you really wanna wipe yourself?
Do you wanna think about your friend when you wipe yourself?
Because...
I wouldn't think about them.
I would just be...
Really? I would? I wouldn't think I would be nice. I think about y friend when you wipe yourself because I wouldn't think about them. I would just be, I would.
I wouldn't I think I would be nice.
I think about y'all on the toilet.
Yeah, I think I, yeah, I would think it was nice.
If I was wiping my butt with something
that Murph gifted me,
I've absolutely texted all of you while shitting.
So like, yeah.
Is that, how is that different from thinking about you?
That's true, that's true.
I guess it's like that, you know when you use something
that someone gave you, you have like that sweet moment of like gratitude
for the friendship.
Do you want that while you're wiping yourself?
I think so.
Especially if you really, if you ball out
and get the good, that double ply,
you get that thick paper.
I think we're gonna start a great-
Shivering with pleasure.
We're gonna start a great trend
because as soon as somebody gives it to you,
then that's gonna make you think,
wow, I almost ran out of toilet paper.
But then Jay came over and brought me a bunch of toilet paper.
Now next time I go to a call-doll house, I'm going to bring a bunch of toilet paper for
them.
Hashtag, Torotles for toilet paper.
Hashtag toilet paper.
Hashtag toilet paper.
Torotles for toilet paper.
Remember to cut your rolls though so the turtles don't get stuck.
That's right.
That's right.
Cut your rolls.
Do you think that somebody sells toilet paper
that has like roll for advantage written on it
and like the roll is like a toilet paper roll?
Yes, okay.
Yeah, probably.
All right, so I'm gonna need to get that
delisted from our store.
Or one of those,
yeah.
Doily dollies that you put to make your toilet paper
more modest.
I gotta be honest, I don't love the merch toilet paper.
I wouldn't wanna like rub ink in my butt.
That's true.
What if it was like allowing, though?
Allowing ink?
Yeah, it was healing ink.
All right.
Yes, yes.
I remember.
Great, we found it.
We got more fun board.
Yeah, I think we're all in on this idea.
This is the type of home stuff that we don't get to do
on our show.
The idea is bring it snacks and get inspiration.
Right.
But we can't do that because we...
Well, I guess we could do it.
No, we can't do it because can you imagine if like hard one saved Gemma
because you brought cookies?
Oh, yeah.
Like we can't do it in our show.
But this is the type of stuff that's nice about home games.
It's you're not held to like audio.
Like we basically make an audiobook every other week.
Can I just say that?
Can I just say that I don't think you should do this
because as someone who can't cook,
this gives me so much anxiety to think about.
But it would be so fucked up if you just gave inspiration
to the person who brought the best food.
Yeah, that's dangerous.
I don't advise that.
It'd be so fucked up.
It's dangerous, but fun,
because you are just having a British bake off
every time before you play.
That could be what's going on.
There is a cold war.
I don't know if it's just a pride thing
of people want to have the best snacks.
Yeah, it's probably just people getting inspiration.
This is why I think there needs to be a stipulation.
You need to have like a sign-up sheet
before each session where it's just like,
all right, this is what we need.
You got a potluck style this and then I'm in.
Right, and with your basic household items,
like I need dishwasher pods.
Right, yeah, I need toilet paper.
Again, just making your friends your door that church.
Basically build like an Amazon fresh cart,
but then send it out to your friends.
And just be like, do you want inspiration, question mark?
Yeah, I hope no one has to go number two at my house tonight
because I don't have toilet paper.
It doesn't matter if you're the paper.
Do you guys want to roll?
I think we're all in on this, right?
Yeah, we're all in on this.
Let's go and do a roll.
Goddamn, I have a number 18.
Oh my God, that's 20.
Oh, shout out to the two crew.
Wow.
I'm taking this business. I love it. Let's do that. Let's use this business to pivot hard into bringing the paper to people's parties
That is a catch. Oh, everyone loves it
If you want to raise your paper towels as well
It's not everybody loves it
But we've never tried it
Everyone well
You have to know the people quite well.
Yeah.
But then you can be, you're the funny guy
and the thoughtful guy.
That, oh, what a beautiful combo.
What a beautiful combo.
Do you roll up with it like unwrapped
or is it like in a, is it wrapped up
as your bubble?
It's like you've got a six pack of beer.
Yeah.
It's just very casual.
You could get a little six pack holder and it's just toilet paper.
Yeah, it's a six pack holder full of toilet paper. I'd be delighted. Yeah. And when you take
an X shit, you're thinking, man, you better be like, show up like Riggins to a party after a big
Dylan Panthers game, except you got a six pack of toilet paper. People would be like, yeah, I guess.
I think it's like a toilet paper. People would be like, yeah, I guess.
I mean, back.
You saved me a trip.
We could all shit now.
Sweet, all right, guys.
I think let's go ahead and wrap this one up.
Thank you all so much for listening.
We'll be doing hearing some more
home brew from Hatchlings over on our Patreon.
Patreon.com slash nad pod.
That's any DDPOD don't sing yet.
We don't do it.
Please don't do it.
Please don't do it.
Sorry about that.
I have something to plug.
Yeah.
This book I read, Vita Nostra, it was super trippy,
and I don't even fully understand it.
And I just got a real kick out of it.
Yeah, and was googling the meaning of her book
for a while.
Yeah.
I love that.
It's really obtuse, really abstract.
It really was a fun read to just drop into something that was so aesthetic and incomprehensible.
Vita Nostra?
Yeah.
That's almost.
Yeah.
Does anybody have anything else I'd like to plug?
I'll plug our live shows because I think I've heard tell that our show in Vancouver and New York are both sold out,
which means only Toronto is left.
Toronto remains.
Toronto.com slash live and try to see us in Toronto if you can.
Come see us in Toronto.
We've got more stuff coming up too.
So, we'll get a look out.
Catch me at Honest Eds.
That's a place I know about from Scott Pilgrim,
but it seems cool. Great me at Honest Ed's. That's a place I know about from Scott Pilgrim, but it seems cool.
Great.
I would love to plug Sanna Khan's World of Worts.
It's a Zene I bought a couple months ago.
Their handle is at pencil.stabber.
And it's literally just like a little Zene
of like a frog having adventures and saying little quotes.
Like, I'm perfectly comfortable, thanks.
I can be a sucker for punishment. And it's like a little frog balancing on a ball.
It's really cute.
It's kind of like, it was like a little foundational
inspiration point for building Saul's character,
so thank you, Sonic Con, for this cool little scene.
Cool piece.
Very cool stuff.
Sweet guys, you can follow us on social media.
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at ColdiesColdle, at A Extra Zemily, and at CheekHerrtsisJake,
and you can tweet about the show
using hashtag nadpod,
that's NADDDPOD.
We are the youth of the nation,
we are the good generation.
Ah, it's time to thank our benevolent
council of elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S.
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Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, the head chef at a little place called
Manja's Richard X Machina, Michael L. Taylor S. Calum L. Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C. Thaddeor
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Timmy R. Croc O'Holic Lucas B. Rayco It's Kevin and here it comes.
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David K. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Conor F. Hawkeye
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oath bow. Kat C. Kelsey J. Pork Chop. Misha Helt T.A, the Lacey Raptor, Beppercay Always, Beppercay Always, nailed it.
Pat L, a Chuta A, Lauren H, Ryan S, the Bone Duster, the Charming Fluff, Robert Crisp,
Telekitty Creations, Fan Illustrator, Insert, Request, okay.
Let's do the, um, the Calder Cali Barrel role scene.
Love to see it.
Plops, Carly A, Addy K, AP, Cleric, Laurie P, those who love and give where they can.
Murf the Nerf mascot, Grant El Conor Savage, Christopher J. Pebblepot, wire dragons, amazing
music, musicians, they know their skills.
Nice!
Celil Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Remington, C, D, Amber Dextrous, Kai, the Ham Sandwich,
Sullivan, H, Trub, Hop, Dropper, Sydney T, Jack, H, Strong, Caltwell, Conspiracy, Theorist,
good stuff.
Nice to have a believer.
Fondere, the She-W of winter. Garble the moist.
Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi and their tiefling barbarian essence.
Question mark?
Champ W. Vailin, beep barbarian, bastard baby of Brian
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Good stuff.
Carl and C. Stan, the dragon man,
holder of too many bags.
Emily, S. T-R-I-P. Harry Cox.
I see what you did there.
Noah, the bagel of all things. Justin, LB, Tori, Levi L,
Pendergreens, Pungent, Pudding,
Hashtag, CCC, Hashtag, Slanging, Rope,
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Ryer, Frisit, Andi, Y, Hali, Hyena, Kristen, Z, the I will use what you love against
you DM. Good stuff, tough stuff. Liyasi, Page H, Helen of Briz, May B stars Akash T. Kristen with a K. Cal just Cal.
Commodore Galaxy Edison N. Russell H.
A monk named Dillgo.
Yes the whole thing.
Yes every time.
Zero parody.
Nio's the novice monster hunter.
Our new friend Simon, we all had a crazy shared dream
and he was in it too.
We sang one big bed.
It was nice and weirdly familiar. Laura Lai, F, Morgan, M, A peeling sticker, oh my goodness, you hate to see it.
Steven, E, Sydney, and Andrew L, Meg, the mail carrier of Bohumia, James F,
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duck team with an on-the-go all the stops.
Show, you know it.
Blue slayed the artificer.
Michaela R. Riley S. Sir Sig 93.
FICO, angry wheat.
The game itself on a shelf.
Tony G. Corbos' calamitous com shot.
Hashtag CCC forever.
Sorry Jake, don't be sorry, okay.
Josh H. Jack, the Jack's jinks and rogue in search of Bohumi's biggest balls.
A horse killed by hard ones, sorry about that.
Mango, empanadas, rented mules, mystical, mustaolata,
trogdor, the burninator, clementine tea,
Caleb, L.S. Obey,Qwan, Simone Bird Life M, Pixie The Calpy,
Can Trip, Dumbledore The Bear, One Z-Waring Barbarian, with Bad Luck.
Quirtis W. MJ, who sings both parts of Evan Essences,
Camden L. and finally Samantha K. Thank you all.