Not Another D&D Podcast - Tortle Tank: Fighting Birds, Mediocre Gods, and The Hyper Light Cannon

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Torts discuss the Aarakocra Problem and The God of Mediocrity, as well as a multitude of new magic items. Let's dive right in!Production and Editing by Trevor LyonAnd support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The show where wise investment tortels review and invest in your homebrew pitches. As always we've got Brian Murphy, the no-chortles-tortle total I'm not here to chortle Emily Axford the epitome of tortoise Splish splash let's make some cash Call the little Tanner the turtis who puts fun furthest when you're with me. You'll never tail Like What? You never like- Is that a threat? You're gonna have to-

Concertals have little tails. Don't tell anyone. They have little tails. Don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone. And until I heard that, I was Jake the good sport tort. And without further ado, let's get wet. Our first hatchling, right.

This is so fun to have you. It's gotten worse every episode. No, hard to say. It's getting better every time. I agree, I agree. Yeah, just more and more friction added to the intro, I love it. I love imagining the person sitting next to me on my flight here, reading. Oh, this man's like, I wonder if it's a screenwriter, maybe he's writing a book. I was gonna say this the first time doing a person and getting to see Jake do that intro

was his own special experience. Right. And now I'm picturing the person not only reading it over your shoulder but watching you mouth and practice it. Just deleting punks and putting in new ones. Ignoring practice and playing loud in the galley. Man, man, I do this for the pilot? Alright, our hatchling JB writes, Ola Tortugas, IDM for a player who refuses to play anything other than Eric Cacra or Aivian, considering the amount of challenges and puzzles

that can be circumvented by flying, this is where my IDA comes in. I present to you my very own homebrew flying rules. During combat, fly speed is determined by an athletics check, DC 5 through 9 equals 5 feet, DC 10 through 14 equals 10 feet, et cetera. Outside of combat, long distance flying is determined with a con save,

with a chance of acquiring a level of exhaustion. I'm asking for an investment of 10,000 gold, plus 30% of Jake's soul, wow, we're expanding and disseminating these rules. PS, I think you should store your eggs in a fortified bank and call it tort nox. Okay, so that's another idea for pretty. You know, I'm interested in buying the pun,

but the rest of it, I feel like, could just be a lot easier if you just talk to them. I think just force them to not play a fucking girl. You can't, I can't, I pitch the idea of a conversation? Just like talk to them. Actually, what you're gonna wanna do is just show your friend the word count of all the notes that you write for each session. How much work you are sweetly putting in to try to work with them.

Some people log their hours at work. Some people have a time card. I think you need to start having a time card for your leisure and then you just show this to your friend. If this were D&D court, I would say tell your player to just play a freaking elf but this is the total tax. Let's talk about the business ID. Yeah, yeah. Now the trying to solve the flight problem, I get it because flight is a problem. Like people playing Eric Akra's are jumping over castle walls. That's actually, it's an opportunity. There is an opportunity.

There is a need. There's a need. There's a problem that it has to be there. It is interesting because it does, you don't want to take things away from players, so you don't want to like write off the bat if somebody's excited about flying. You don't necessarily want to completely take that off the table,

even though I would, because I'm no fun at all. So I like the idea of just making flying kind of harder, but I don't know that this is it. This does add a lot of roles. Yeah. Which is like, I feel like some subclasses will add a lot of roles and it's kind of fun because they come up occasionally.

I'm thinking of like in like wild magic. That's fun to spice things up at once in a while, but like this person is gonna wanna fly a lot. So there's gonna be a lot of athletics checks. You know what, it was sort of the different chiation between the two things that kind of bumped me, that's kind of over complicated. It's like the one thing is an athletics check

and the other thing is a con save. And it's like sprinting versus long distance and get behind that. Well, I know technically they're two different things, but I think for D&D maybe we need to do both things. Right, yeah. And also, like these creatures come with a fly speed, right? Right.

So to basically be like, the book says this, but I'm actually going to make you slower. And like, that's the reason this person chooses to play the role. Yeah, but the solution can't be like making that person choice worse. I think it could, because I think Eric Acacras are kind of broken. Really mean, I don't I don't I don't imagine all of the

Challenges that we've done in campaigns one two and three right you could have bypassed at level one by just like going up a mountain We're like going over a wall or flying away What other lowest level flying ability like there's a spell spell, Druid, and what's wild shaping? What level would you need to get to? To get flying, I think you need to get to level 10. I might be totally wrong about that. I think you get swim speed at level four and flying not till later than that.

Well, okay, so yeah, so players starting at level one, being able to fly. Flying is a level three spell, right? Fly? Yeah. Okay, and then- There's a lot of pressure nerfed. Yeah, I'm just like, you can't say like that. I'm sorry, right? Fly? Yeah. Okay. And then- There's a lot of pressure,

I'm just like, you're doing an Emily answer. I'm like, oh fuck it. I will say, we're sitting in a room. We're sitting in a room. We're sitting in a room where Jake and Galdor have computers in front of them, but I'm looking at Emily and asking,

when people get spells. Honestly, I wouldn't even know what to look for. Yeah. Do you want me to stop playing Final Fantasy 14 and go over there? It is quite loud. And I think that music's copyrighted. You're doing very well, but I, yeah,

wizards wouldn't get fly for a while, while shaping druids wouldn't get fly for a while. So I get the idea of, let's simplify it maybe, athletics check to fly, and then you can only go for a certain amount of time. I'm not super opposed to it. I'm not opposed to it. I think though that unfortunately the solution for this

is if you have a puzzle or a situation that you know is gonna be complicated by flying, I think the more fun thing as a player is gonna be put obstacles in the sky. Yeah. Put aggressive birds in the sky. Put clouds you can't see through. Ooh.

Put aggressive birds in the clouds. clouds. Yeah, yeah clouds with teeth Birds are vulnerable. There's a reason they don't rule the earth now, you know, yeah, they can They gave it a shot, but we fucking you Jay. We're better than them We could kick most birds acid I could one v word one. Sorry. I could one v one most bird Merch can take out most birds with any most bird Most birds. Yeah, I know birds do they pick out your eyes and then they find the sky We know birds you my fucking french fries when I'm

And that's what burns you You can one thing explain Jake in this fucking first time he didn't want to kill that bird that was Bird didn't kill that bird kill Chris on janky kick a bird that I also but thank you, Murr. Yeah Cuz I was afraid Cuz I was afraid it would hurt my fingers We're all just a little scared, but we, if Bush came to shove, if, if, if those birds were eating a chill, the way Tucker does, I would step in.

Huge step in and kill a bird. Just perfect beak. What do you think the DC would be murved to swing a baseball bat and hit a bird in the, Jesus Christ. Pretty high, pretty high, I think yeah, but if the here's the thing birds generally aren't gonna swoop down and try to kick your ass Generally, right cuz they know cuz they know not to fuck with you Yeah, just like no one around house kicking their don't cuz they know I could one be one most of the right I have my finger up most of them. There's an asterisk there. You know, you can't take a cast in worry folks.

It thank you. And all you in the comments being like a Falcon would kick Bird's ass. I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm talking about most birds. Right. Falcon can beat up a woodpecker. Falcon's gonna do five at like 200 miles per hour.

And I, and it would kill me. I agree. It would go into your eye. I could kill the other side. I can kick your Rocky Burnt ass. Falcons, they're not, there's a reason they're Falconers, you know? Those are majestic birds.

But those birds. I mean, a peacock. Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo. A peacock. A peacock? Get out of here. A turkey could not, I could beat up a turkey.

Yeah, I can't beat a turkey. Why do you think that we kill them on Thanksgiving? Good choice. We know they come for us. That's insane. That's insane. That's insane. Right, because they have a holiday where they eat us. And we just can't let them celebrate it.

And I know- We have to get to them first. And I know there's people out here with turkey facts. I'm not saying these guys wouldn't do some damage. I'm saying if it was me and turkey in a room, I'm walking out of that room bloody in a lot. With a turkey like in my damn mouth. Okay, fucking money. I'd pay pay-per-view money to see that fight too. I'm saying if it was me and Turkey in a room, I'm walking out of that room bloody in a lot. With a turkey like in my damn mouth.

Okay, fucking money. I'd pay pay-per-view money to see that fight too. It's like, you got your like your first bet. You're like the card event of that WWE raw. That should be what the like, that should be a Thanksgiving tree. Next summer slam, it's just Murph or Saturkey. Unless there's like

Unless you're Turkey facts that I don't really don't know about I think I'd be quick. You're taking fire gun. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, well if we're both Unarned. Okay. Okay. Anyway, if you got Turkey facts, keep them in your goblin folks. Yeah, keep them in your goblin guys. I feel like also This is a Turkey fact. They're most likely tougher. I just said keep in your gobbler. I just, I googled how strong our turkey that I need to your gobbler. We're gonna allow it just the same.

They're most likely tougher and faster than you. Some wild turkeys can hit 20 miles per hour when running at full speed. So a turkey running into your knee at 20 miles per hour could, it would have to hit my knee, I'd be too quick. I'd freaking dodge. I'd freaking dodge. I'd freaking juke it. Really?

Yeah, yeah, sidestep it. See, I'm fully immersed on my legs. Because I've mentioned this before, I maintain that without any training, I could complete a marathon. I would not do a good job. Well, you could probably hurt myself really badly, but I could do it.

And I think that this logic applies to a turkey fight. We're like, absolutely, I'm probably gonna lose an eye, but like I could destroy the bird We don't we just don't know enough about turkey. No People out there. There's just you Will also never know enough about Terri will never know enough because we're not gonna look at fight That we're gonna keep it in our goblers and move on. Yeah.

I was okay. So I think ultimately, I think this is a courageous business. I think you're trying to wait into the murky waters of players playing Eric Kakariz. And it shows what a nice DM you are. Yeah. You are working with something that you consider makes your job harder, but

you think is more fun for your PC. I want to invest in you. Yeah, because the idea, while it's maybe not perfect yet, I feel like you, like you said, you're being courageous, you know, venturing into this untarded territory. And that's worth investing in. I think we want to invest in you, but we also do want to send some stat blocks for flying clouds that can eat birds. I, oh, and maybe a stat block for an evil turkey that steals their gift of flight.

Oh, I love that. And then it becomes the big bad and in order to get their flight back, they have to go after this evil turkey. Let's think about this business for real. Are there the amount of footage that you could fly was very low. This seems kind of...

Remind me the numbers, it was like... It was really bad in Conbat. Yeah, like a DC 5 through 9, it's 5 feet, 10 through 14 is 10 feet. Sometimes building in too many rolls in Conbat can be frustrating for the reason that if you're having to roll at the top of every single turn for something, like it can be fun once in a while, but if it's baked in, then suddenly you're having to roll at the top of every single turn for something, it can be fun once in a while,

but if it's baked in, then suddenly you're like, fuck, I wasted my good roll on that, and I should have used it on attacking. Sometimes you can over roll. I think rolling for five feet of movement versus 10 feet of movement is kind of arbitrary. I think if you're going to make flying something that you need like an athletics check for, you'd need to make it a go-big or go-home situation. Like, if

you roll and you get it, then you... You're saying like one DC, going to get it, you don't want to do it. That's it. This is also, it's not necessarily solving the problem because if this problem is this person flies and circumvents all of my challenges. Then you're only giving them, you know, roll higher than a 10 and you circumvent the challenge. Like that is usually still happening. That's happening half time.

I still think that ultimately, like, I'm maybe not on board with nerfing the flying so much, but you also could just do one big roll at the top of every flight. That's like roll to find out the wind conditions. And that's how hard it's gonna be. They're being flying more to the end. Not putting it on the actual character.

Like you actually don't know how to fly as well as you thought. Yeah, yeah. So this stuff happening outside. Yeah, so it's like here's the wind condition and either you're flying normal or you're inhibited. And that should happen to birds all the time. You look up in the air and you see them

floating there in a storm. Yeah, and that should happen to birds all the time. You look up in the air and you can see them like floating there in a storm. Yeah, I can't do shit. And those birds, those birds will kick your ass. Every time you see a bird in a tree, they're waiting out the wind. Yeah, if the bird's hiding in a tree, you could probably kick its ass. If the birds just stay in level in a storm, that birds a bad ass. Yeah, if they're doing a visit to training. It's a bad reason because it is a truth.

I should not go to a hover like that. Does this work for anybody's eggs? Do we have any eggs in my nest? I'm keeping my eggs in my nest. I think this is a situation where I look forward to see what you come up with next because I think you're a great hatchling entrepreneur that's coming up that's, I think the research, this isn't quite there yet,

the science isn't there yet, I think you're gonna have a breakthrough. I think I wanna hire them for the Think Tank, which is the tank next to ours. Right, that's perfect. So we have no eggs for you, or at least I don't, call the owner Jake, do you wanna?

I wanna salary them. Yeah, so no eggs, but cash. Let's do structured annual bonuses, free parking, healthcare. Yeah. Well, have a nice end over the final. Can I help this too? Yeah, sure. I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it. There's no parking spots outside of the tank where we live currently, but we are going to be building on. We're going to be installing that. Yeah, we're getting rid of a really gorgeous forest to put up a part of the plot.

They pay a paradise for it. I mean, that shows a one way we get rid of birds. Thank you for the idea. All right, our next hatchling is named Toe. And Toe writes, great cohort of torts, including the venerated and judicious curator, thank you. In days past, the tank has discussed the secretness of the Nat 20 and all its flaws,

and I echo that sentiment, but I also know several torts still feel a hollowness in the Nat 20 on initiative. People are still trying to solve it. I, everyone's bringing this up all the way. I never get it. It's so good to go first. Let's see a toe.

I feel like I'm in D&D court listening to an Eric Cockroof. Let's see if toe can get beyond just gaslighting work. You take your robot, okay? Take your robot, put your tail on. Yeah, get your shell on and jump in the water. My shell's on, come on in. The water's mild, yeah. I'm going in, it's only a little film.

It's highly salinated filters not working. All right, so they still miss the extra bit of mustard that makes a nat 20 and nat 20. I humbly come before you today with a simple solution. On a nat 20 initiative, a character could take one part of their action economy twice. Not a full turn, but perhaps an extra dash, the no-choral total. I'm shaking that. An extra dash or taking the Dodge action

in addition to attacking for this home brew, I only ask for a single egg, but I want your second favorite one. Second favorite. So the real lumpy one. Yeah. Yeah. I think this is a little too powerful.

I hate to say it. When I heard this at first, I wasn't chortling. I was shaking my head. The honest. Me and M have gotten into it over and over again about the Nat 20s on his own. Being a waste in an issue. Yeah. Our marriage is really strange.

Our marriage is on the rocks. It should be on the eggs, but it's on the rocks. It's on the rocks. You should come out and drink them in the summertime. Oh, goodbye. We'll talk about the initiative, that 20s, and the straight-ups, what are our relationships. No, but I heard that, and then I was like, you know what, a good tweak would be to do something

like on a Nat 20, no matter what, you go first, unless someone else gets a Nat 20. So if you have like a plus one to Dex or something, it still lets you go first. I think most DMs would make that call in the room. Yeah, I mean, it's not on like paper. But anyway, and then I was like, okay, what's another thing?

Maybe it's something with damage. Maybe you get advantage on your first attack or something. This just feels a little arbitrary. I get that it's better that it just kind of gives you an action surge, but it's kind of arbitrary. It doesn't really feel arbitrary to me. I said maybe feels like a little more powerful

than I'm looking for. It's like, I just want that little boost. I want a little, I want a little good job. Yeah, I want a good job. Like, I mean, to me, it seems like what they're saying is basically people get disadvantaged on attacking you. They were like suggesting that you get like an automatic dodge action.

They said that's one of the things you can do. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, you get, you can use some piece of your action economy twice. It's your choice. Okay. So it's almost, it's like you get half a surprise around. Yeah. Although I guess you could argue, you could argue that that's not arbitrary. The idea being that like if you're ready the fastest, you might have a split second to, yeah, no, I think the question right. I think the question is, what do you do with that extra time? You got the jump on everybody. To me, it doesn't make sense that I got their first, so everyone has disadvantage on attacks,

even though they're going after me, but it does make sense to be like, I got here first, I will have advantage on my first attack. What if you could give somebody the help action if you create an initiative? Like, you're going to do your thing first and like you got the jump So like you can actually be a support to position someone else. Yeah. Yeah, yeah So you get there you see the battlefield and you can put one thing into play. I like that too

Yeah, like I like it when it makes sense. Yeah, I think Adding that you can do anything Twice or like any part of your action economy twice adds a level of complication that takes away the purity of the net 20. Because you roll it and then instead of just being like, here you've got the solid thing, it's you get to go first no matter what

or you get to help somebody or you get to, even if it was just you get to take the dodge action. That would be different than being like, you can do anything twice. Because any roll in that 20 and you're like, well wait, okay, so I kind of have an action surge, but not really, I'm going to, I guess I'll do it. I'm just picturing everybody else

rolling out their phone and tuning out while this is decided. Yeah, because you're never prepped to do. I mean, no one's ever gonna be upset by getting to do stuff twice, but there is gonna be a level of like, sick. Now I need to think about right Yeah, it's not just going first It's actually if anything it like you get the jump you go first

But then you have to take a second and be like one now. What do I do? Yeah, I think that what you really want to do is you want to print up a Series of coins and when someone rolls the 20 uninitiative you just give them one of those coins and when they ask are you gonna talk about Fucking flipping coins again? I saw that sleeve of DVDs you brought it. Pay no attention to the jingle in my pocket. And then you just decide, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait don't hate that, honestly. I think that sounds fun. Although you are putting a burden on your players

to remember to bring their coins every session. Yeah, well, you gotta put them in the text there's like, hey guys, remember bring your coins. There's a mic me this session. I think that's a kind of fun idea. You can even do it with buttons. Just, you know, you gotta bunch of those lying around. You're gonna watch things.

You just hang onto that. And they don't really know what it is. And also, every shirt comes with extra buttons You're looking for something to do with them because you're just a kind of person who doesn't lose buttons from your shirt Yeah, totally must be nice to be you but go on. Yeah You're gonna want to spray paint buttons gold so they do look shiny and nice Yeah, I think like I kind of like them just being street buttons Unvarnished street buttons you got a net 20 here's it

Is that a little bit of thread in it still keep track of this good things are coming your way my friend before you start the next session Does everyone have their buttons? I'm gonna do a quick button check. Rolls the dice. Okay, interesting. When do you like, give me an insight check. How many buttons do you have? Okay, yeah, no, no, no, no. I can't say why that matters yet, but interesting.

You're gonna need to figure this out before the end of the campaign, but like, you got like months, you know, and you'll figure some fun out. Yeah, and the figure a deal you make of it, the more disappointing it's going to be when they, all they can do is summon a button monster. I love where you two, I don't remember the original idea, but I'm investing in buttons. Where you can cash in your buttons

and the final boss right to summon a button. Well, the final boss, the final boss, guess what? It's Coraline's mom. Whoa. Yeah. You're welcome. We just leave.

We're here for you. We're here for leave. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you.

We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you.

We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you. We're here for you, so I know that it's a problem that needs to be addressed. I think you over. I've done this being a problem that needs to be addressed. All right, button your yes. My brother, my friend, my brother. Whether or not you approve, there is a market for it. Come on, there's a market. I think here's the thing, there's a market for it, and there's a lot of

different ideas out there. I think it behooves us to collect all the ideas so that we can pop it. Yes, you're right. Yeah, this is a land grab Okay, I'll invest my second favorite. Yeah, I'm butting my gobbler and unbuttning my wallet Lansing my second favorite egg. I love a coin purse with a bunch of buttons hang on I mean just really So many oh no, I lost the I love a coin purse with a bunch of buttons. Hang on, hang on. I mean, just really, really, so many. Oh no, I lost the button on my coin purse. So, are we, are you in? Are you in or just me a call-logger and roll for it? Just you two.

Okay, we need dice to clean. Suddenly, I'm not supposed to close my God, where am I? Suddenly, the guy who's in in front of all the day. Where are you just counting it? You're talking about what flips these buttons. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh yeah, I'm gonna count for me that can't count for you. Here we go Yes, oh fuck I got an 11 I got a 10 and actually this so this idea is mine I will add it to the horn and this is very apropos for our next hatchlings idea. Oh, right? Okay, let's get right into it no turtles. Turtle is in a bad mood now. Oh, he folds his arms and leans back No bubbles escaping from his lips.

No bubbles escaping. It looks really cute for all of the arms. It looks really cute for all the fan artists out there. Mergem K writes, Hey, Tortles, tired of only celebrating the highs and mourning the lows in D&D, it's time for mediocrity to shine. Okay, I'm stalling already. My head's wrong with anticipation. After rolling a 10 on a D20,

in a pivotal moment, decided by your DM, you are blessed with the gift slash curse of mediocrity. Your next rolls are made with two dice, and you take the average score of both as your roll rounded down. What? That is, of course, a token from the ever-present God of mediocrity, who made sure a 10 on a death save

is still a success. That lasts until the DMD. Oh my God. I'm satisfied. I love this. I love this. Yes. I love this.

I love this. You triggered the thing by rolling a 10. Why do you roll again? Twice. This is excellent. I'm excited to take my egg Merchant says I'm open to workshopping the idea and all I ask for is a shout out to my cat orie the best little demon So shout out to Okay, so let's try it. I love to work shop. Let's try this out. Let's pretend like I just got a 10 right? Okay, and also I love that you've built Lauren,

that the gift of mediocrity, the 10 is a success on a death save. This is a gift from some mediocre deity. Okay. So they come down and they give me, what do you get? I got a Nat 20 and a two. Holy shit.

Okay, so I had to eat the apple. So an 20 and a two. Holy shit. Okay, so I answered it so like, and a laver and a lemon. Yeah, and a laven. So you still, yeah. Do you realize how much the God of mediocrity just wait, but made a normal face at us? Ha, ha, ha.

You just wait. It only happened for it. It just gave us like a shoulder a shoulder half of the head. Yeah, a gaze. Yeah, does it only happened for death saves or is it for whenever the DM decides? After rolling a 10 on a D20 in a pivotal moment

decided by your DM. Okay. You're a plus with a gift that has a best question for you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So it's like, instead of, it's like, let's say that you have this like, this really like intense thing and you're like, you just get this 10 and it becomes a 13 in your dam

is like, what the, what do you do with this? You know, then it's like, okay, actually the God of mediocrity. What'd you get? A 13 and a 10. Whoa, like I wound it down. It was, so yeah. So it happened.

11 again. The God keeps on gazing. 13 and a six. What's done? I guess do math. Nine. Wow. All right. So it really works. Okay. It works for what? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I have to say, I have to say in practice, in practice, it is mathematically delivering expected, but unexciting results, but I still like it.

I will tell you what, so they say the, it's decided by your DM once you roll that 10. And I like that. And then it says your next rolls are made with two dice, but maybe not all of your rolls going forward. Maybe the God of mediocrity chooses another moment. I think what is interesting about this idea is just a God of mediocrity.

That is a very funny character. Just a sort of neutral god that's just like all things balanced in the end. I'm picturing a god that you have to fight that like can just like turn your role into a tin or something like that. I think that maybe instead of it being when you roll a tin, you just have this god of mediocrity

that can let you roll to die and average it at specific times. If it's like a pivot thing. But it's a good, is it ever good to have a safe? For so far, it has only delivered me 11 and lower. It can be, there are definitely situations where like, let's say you guys are above like a fissure and a cliff or something,

and it's like hard ones and athlete just don't roll a fissure and a cliff or something. It's like hard ones and athlete, just don't roll a one or a two. Oh my god. Yeah. To jump across it, the god of mediocrity can make it way very unlikely. So if you need to not quickly fail, you can make it.

Yeah, all I need is a C right here. Like can I pray to this god and do a religion check and then you have kind of a funny. There it is. That's voice and. I think that I'm gonna go back to a previous bit of advice from you, Murrath, which is put it in a ring.

Put that thing in a ring or some sort of like what was it a ring? Put it in a ring. Slap it on a ring or like I guess in this case, maybe not a ring, but like. Be braided belt. Yeah. Yeah, braided belt.

Absolutely. Slightly out of style, but like, you know, it really holds your pants on. So does anyone want this as is? because they did say that they were open to kind of workshop and I think I make an impassioned plea to go in on this with you and we're going to make the God of Mediocrity a great character that's going to bless your players with Mediocrity. Yeah, and I give you kind of the middleing mediocre version of that. Like, yeah, come on, let's do it.

I think it'll be pretty fun. Yeah, and I have to write in mind with God of mediocrity. You see, descending, well, not descending, I guess, kind of just like walking from a parking lot, the God of mediocrity, and it gives you kind of a half-hearted knowledge. Should we all roll for it and do the medium roll?

Yeah, yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great. So we only need two D20s. I just got a 20 in a two again. I'll just throw my twice again. Okay, so. But I've also been rolling a bunch of times. Okay, I got a nine and a 19.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That's good. That's gonna average out to 14. Okay, and I got a three, and I got two threes. Okay, that's nothing. That's a three. I have just two of three. 10 and 13. So a three, and I got two threes. Okay, that's nothing. That's a three. I have just two of three. 10 and 13, so a six, I believe?

A 10 and a 13? Oh, no, sorry, 10 and a three, my bad. Okay, that's not the meeting at all. Nope. I looked at you waiting for the smile of a joke. No, the tank just needs cleaning. I'm running out of oxygen. All right, so we're going in on this together.

The filter is seriously clogged. There's an algae bloom in here, too. We're gonna bless some people with mediocrity. All right, that's right. Amen. Do we give them our most medium egg? They just wanted to shout out for Ori the cat. Oh, great, wow.

Hi, Ori. Hi, Ori. All right, our hatchling Alec P writes, turtles, have you ever looked up at the heavenly shafts of light bursting through puppy clouds and wished you could ride them off into the sky? What would it feel like to move as though you were sunlight? This is all on mushroom trip right now.

Yeah, I've looked up and I've seen those beams of the crab shaft. We've all wanted to grab chips. We've all wanted to grab chips. You only see when you're on psychedelics. I want to become light. They write, I can give you that feeling. For the low, low price of 30,000 eggs. Okay. Introducing the hyper light cannon,

a spyglass unlike any you've ever peered through before. Simply look through it at where you want to go and one bonus action later. Kasha, you're there. Kasha. Want to take. Kasha! Kasha! Want to take some friends with you? Just hold hands like a bunch of eager theater kids and off you will go. Wow.

Now mind you, the technology is not perfect. For one, the spyglass doesn't teleport with you. Nothing that can't be solved with the magic of careful logistics. Just make sure you don't drop it in combat where a batty can pick it up and use it. Also, when you're teleporting long distances There's always the chance for a mishap. You're gonna need to roll high on your perception check or you might find yourself Dozens of feet above where you are hoping to go the specifics are up to your DM and remember never never use it to look at the moon Okay, so it's basically a telescope that teleports you to whatever you're seeing to what you see to yeah to where you're looking and it does not come with you

I like to only get items in the tank. I like it. Yeah, I love it. I don't know. This is a cool item And I'm trying to figure out if this is an item that we're gonna someday hear about in D&D court By someone's like I gave them this fucking spyglass and now now every single fight, they use it to send a bad guy to the moon. The hyper light cannon is pretty solid. It's also nice, the fact that you drop it, it means that you gotta be close enough that you can come back for it. So it's great for like breaking in places.

Yeah. Because then you could just, you know, if you're looking at it before. Yeah, it'd be completely broken if you could just go, you take it with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was trying to. And then if you go so far away and you drop it,

then you have to travel back to get it. Yeah, I mean, that's a, it's a one time use. So it can save your life that like once a century. Yeah, I feel like that sets it up for like a very cool moment. It's like we need to get across this fucking lava-filled ravine or something, and that's what you do. Everyone holds hands and you lose it for it. I do like that this started out as a drug dealer

and ended up being some sort of traveling salesman. I'm trying to think, how could Emily use this to fuck me? I would send your bad guys to the moon. Right. Oh yeah, all you gotta do is trick one bad guy. Well, it doesn't seem like you can do that. It seems like you need to hold hands and be like on the same side.

Yeah, I probably. Maybe you would need some sort of willing creature. Yeah, I think you had willing creature to it. Willing creature. Well, what if you are? You put the telescope on a stand and you have a little sign next to it that says free show and a little winky thing.

Yeah, I think you can trick people in it. I think it seems fun also like, because it's like, I just picture ending a session with them being like, okay, we need to go to this castle on the mountain. Yeah. Let's use our spyglass and they look through and the fact that there's a little bit of ins- This episode in AdPod has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout.

That's birddogs.com slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Stability to it, it means that you don't know where they're gonna land, right?

You find out at the end of the session, you do like whatever that perception role is or something to figure out where they're gonna land, right? You find out at the end of the session, you do like whatever that perception role is, or something to figure out where you're gonna land, and then you land them there, and then you can plan your next session from there. So I kinda like that level of chance in there. Yeah, super fun too. It's really fun, and if your players are completely

fucking you up with it, you can always decide to steal it later. Because the fact that they're leaving it behind right after you see it. What I would do is I would give it to the barbarian, shoot him up into the sky, and then have him go into a rage and land on people for a bunch of damn things.

That's fucking sick. Oh, yeah. This is just, this is pretty sick. It could be broken. I'm trying to think how it's broken right now. It's kind of of it's like broken But it fixes itself as it breaks That's to be creatures right so you're not just like putting boulders into it. Yeah, I think you need that

The the thing that Emma sang Yeah, everyone you Everyone needs to want a willing career, right? You couldn't like make a cow look through it and shoot the cow into the air Yeah, like a cow unless the cow wanted to how look through it and shoot the cow into the air. You know, you're just like a cow. Unless the cow wanted to take care of it. Right. And maybe the cow wants to go to the moon.

All you have to do is catch speed with animals and you'll fucking find out if the cow wants to go to the moon. Do you wish to fly a friend? Yeah, this is solid. I think I'm in for 30,000. 30,000? I also love it when people come up with items

that aren't that are magical, but aren't necessarily an obvious solution to a very specific problem. Like this is just kind of like, what if this weird-ass technology existed? And I'm like, yeah, what is? Yeah, yeah, it's really good, like, just lore and thinking through, like, the lore of your world to be like, yeah, I don't know, like, some weird goblin scientists made this telescope that kind of works.

Yeah. Do you want it? He was trying to make a light cannon and instead invented teleportation. I fucking love just more spy glasses being around. Yeah. So, serving as spy glasses is a fun thing for you. It's also a funny thinking of like looking into someone's window to try and get in somewhere, but then if you roll poorly with a perception, you just like teleport to the house.

I'm the one who's in the way. I'm the one who's in the side of the house. The opportunity for splatting is very hot. Right, yeah, the non-exact nature of it. Like the fun of you look too, the last exact year you're gonna be. As a DM, you are probably going to get to narrate somebody slamming into a window and slowly going,

ah! It's worth, frankly, it's worth more than 30,000 X to me. I also, that also like, I mean, okay, look, you had me when you described something that sounded like a mushroom trip, and then when you ended it with that bold claim, I was like, I respect this. Do you want to see God, friend?

Well, do I have the telescope for you? Should we all roll with the God of Mediacredity? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, I like that. I think we're in a bidding war right now. Oh. Do you have any eaten a 9M? I got a 9M and a 3.

Oh. 4M and 18. I got an 11 and 11 and a 19. So an 11 for me. Oh, you're gonna win J.21? Yeah, that's my 15th. Woo! All right, that's all yours.

Amazing. I really, really wanted it. It's a sick idea. I give a weak handshake to the god of mediocrity Thanks for the compliments guys. Yeah, I own it now, so it's got like my idea All right our next hatchlings Their name is wine Jake starting like a hyper tunnel, but like with the hyper like,

what's it called? The hyperlot. Oh, hyperlite cannon, yeah. With the hyperlite cannon, but it just works once. That's cool. So you can get to Vegas so quick with this thing. I'm just gonna use it for transportation. Yeah, you're gonna mass produce this thing,

take all the joy out of it. Not called book transportation. I'm gonna be easy pets going to be easy, Patrick. You got to go, Patrick. All right, our hatchling wild writes, well hello, torts. Your shells are looking very refined today. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

I just got a pierce. The shell. I think that's why the water is so red. I think that's what's causing the filter to back up. Yeah. I'd like to present to you the fate weavers thread. Ooh, another yummy item. I am into it already.

This small golden string gives a player the opportunity to trick destiny itself at great personal risk. While it is in their inventory, a player can attempt to lie to the DM about the results of a dice rule, the wording of an ability or anything else they can think of. It's the DM doesn't say, and you tread on a dangerous road friend. It's the DM doesn't suspect anything. So stupid. By the time the lie takes hold, it works.

If the DM suspects your lying and calls you out, however, you must admit you're crime to the table. Their character immediately takes necrotic damage equal to half their max HP that can't be recovered until a long rest and suffers a level of exhaustion as punishment for trying to lie. Okay? No matter the outcome, the thread vanishes into thin air after use. Okay, so it's a one time use. Tertz, I'm seeking a full set of moon-soaked dice from the windowsill in exchange for the one time chance to gas like God. I eat really awake your offers.

I love that pitch. The chance to gas like God, that's well written. You can't say that well written. But here's a inherent flaw in it, is that the DM would have to put it in your game. Right. So I would just assume you were lying. Literally every time you do it.

It does. So distrust. It's true. Right, there's no penalty for the DM saying, are you lying? Yeah, you're lying. So I would just, every single time, I would just be like, yeah, because then you're fucking lying. And if they are lying, then they take their chronic damage.

But you just like can ask if they're lying all the time. Right. Which seems annoying. Yeah. Yeah. And if they are lying, then they take their chronic damage, but you just can ask if they're lying all the time, right? Which seems annoying. Yeah. It seems like it wasn't safe. So 22 to hit for real? I'm curious to see. It's also like there are big moments that I can conceive

of a character's story. It being fun to try to cheat definitely. But I can also see a lot of it not feeling fun. Yeah. I wonder if this is like, I don't know, I think that by tweaking it, you make it much more of a vanilla item. If it's like, you can like overturn one death save or something like that. But I do wonder if there's something like that where like you are lying and the DM is

in on it, but you are still lying and like maybe there's a consequence down the line for that. Maybe you're lying to someone in-game? I think like the DM. I mean, maybe you have a deception check or something. I just don't think I've ever seen like lies do like real life lies. Yeah, real life lives be fun at the table.

I, yeah, that's what I worry about. However, I'm in a deal. You're throwing discord. I love the idea though, because like obviously like the strands of fate, the weavers of fate like the the three fates This is giving me yeah the three fates and destiny being personified feels like a very fun world Mm-hmm and the threat of fate like over turning yeah, the will of destiny I think I feel like all the flavor around it is so cool. It's very hard. It's really funny

You're just telling a lie to somebody. Yeah, I don't even understand what the fate of the the red of the feet. And the moment it's really funny, but you could just see how it could become conversable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I can't even play a game of werewolf because I'm so bad at lying. I'm like, just like, just having this burden,

weighing on me and like trying to lie to my nerve. It sounds like such a bad time. Um, I cast, um, I, I smite for 48 damage. Yeah, this is a weird thing, but maybe it is something like the DM knows you have it. So it will be a public thing when you do it. Uh-huh. Um, and it is like you can choose to try to lie and then you have to do some sort of deception check. We all know it's gonna happen. It's gonna be publicly happening.

And it's less you lying to the DM Even though that is very funny and more your character lying to Right lying in the world almost like a trickster god Yeah, it being like you have this string of destiny You can almost will yourself to have done something by lying about it It's almost like a like luck roll or something. Yeah, but like you get to make a deception check You do a deception check to like say that you luck roll or something like that. But like, you get to make a deception check. You do a deception check to, like, say that you succeeded to do something.

Yeah, you're a rogue. You've got some trickster god that's helping you. And you go to try to sneak attack somebody. You mess. You go, no. But what's the good outcome? Well, I think that- As it's written, it is if your lie works,

then your lie works. And you got away with your lie.. And you got away with your lie. So it's so good to say. You got to get away with a lie. But in the bad circumstance, you still take necrotic damage against. Yeah. I think it's more interesting for the roleplay aspect, right?

Because then you're someone who cheated destiny, and that feels like a really fun thing for a, to make a lying character more tricky and evasive. Yeah, this works better, I think, as a cooperative item, as totally. You can actually lie. And Emily brought up a good point, which is that there are three fates. You could have one who's like pulling the thread, one who's making the thread, one who's slipping the thread. You could have three different tools here that do different things. And you can use it more too if you make it not about just lying

at your table. If it was a deception check, you can make it something that reaches every day or something. I'm out on this. It's during the tank for me and I'm not interested. I just can never see myself using it as is. Although I kind of like the modification we made. Yeah.

So yeah, I would go in on our idea. I like the modification we made. Yeah. So yeah, I would go in on our idea. I like the lore to it. And I like the idea of it's like a luck point that you have to roll for. And if you fail that role, you take pretty bad consequences. Yeah. But really, I just kind of like it narrative.

Yeah. Emily, shall we see which way fate goes? Are we still doing mediocre? Yeah, we're doing mediocre rules. That's in at 20, so. And what, what else? And what? A nine?

It's a 20, not a four in a 19. That was my best mediocre rule yet, and I still lost. The God of mediocrity hates me. Wow, it's so excellent. The thread belongs. Terrible. The thread belongs to Cultwell. I collect all of my buttons and I tie them together with a thread. Now the end game unfolds. Sticking in your God. Everyone, I don't even know how many buttons you have? That's how many hit points your button monster has.

What? That's right. That's right. That's right. You guys freaking mom is here and she's on your side. You guys level 20 characters have summoned a seven hit point monster. Stand up. There's no button on your pants.

Hey, I'm made of pants. All right, so one final idea from our hatchling Jean Philippe H. They write, hey, they're turtles. I'm here once again to ask the centaurs for turtle eggs. Interesting, okay? I present to you my homebrew rolling AC waiting for your turn to come can be pretty boring. Now you have something to do. This is your just going to distract everyone and I'll leave you back to the rest of your party. When are you going to attack?

Watch your friends and join the things your friends do. Be with the people you're with. Be a friend. Now you can stop scrolling TikTok while you're waiting for your turn. Oh my God. When you get attacked, you can roll a dexterity check to dodge or a stealth check to block, instead of having a static AC, with armor acting as a modifier on your roll.

This makes the fight more dynamic and encourages roll play as you can dodge the wrong way and get hit by an attack that should have missed or be overpowered when trying to block. And not 20 on a dodge lets you move 5 feet in any direction and on a block it lets you use your reaction to get an attack of opportunity on your attacker I ask for enough eggs to make myself an egg sandwich I like your attitude. I like your moxie. That's for sure. Yeah This again, we're banging on the same drum here like make this a ring or something If you really want like some sort of special shield that can do this

I think this is a special shield It feels like an ability that if everyone has it the battlefield is chaos Yeah, but there's a kernel of like you know, it's a kernel of a good idea Yeah, I agree Like rolling in like dex thing to see if you're AC goes up It should just do a reaction ability that you can do sometimes Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Like a lot of monsters have it,

where they can use your reaction to add like three, sometimes up to six to their AC. Yeah. I think, they get a reaction, put it in a ring. This is a fun thing. Put it in a ring. Hey, button your goblet and put it in a ring. Put it in a ring.

Put it in a ring. Do they have a sentient shield? Put a ring on it. Is there, there's a, there are like floating shields. I had, yeah, I had an animated shield or something like that. It was some kind of, some kind of shield that could float around so that I could have a shield-handed weapon. Cool.

Sweet. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But maybe I came up with it first. I'm not sure who came up with it. Maybe I could see you. You're talking more of like a sentient shield that's like, which way are we going, boss? Exactly. Okay. Yeah. And like today, we'll see. You're talking more of like a sentient shield that's like, what's where are we going boss? It's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, and like they always, yeah.

So like you activate your scary parry, and the shield's name is of course Perry. Yes, Perry, the shield, Perry, the shield. We're onto something here, we're Perry, the shield, and like Perry has their own deck. Scary Perry, scary Perry. So Perry is afraid of getting hit. So yeah.

Oh no, swords. Yeah, Perry, oh no swords. Yeah I just destroy my eggs Another Tanner her with ventures You know you heard with Stan or sir. No, I think if this were just a reaction, I like the idea of getting to roll on not your turn. What about a fighting style? Yeah, I think you can do a fight style.

I think you can do a reaction to do a sleight of hand to block, still that I totally understand. Yeah, I think fighting style is cool. It seems almost like a monkish ability or something. Yeah, yeah. What's the name of that little dagger? Because when you're a duelist and you get one big sword and one tiny dagger, I can't remember what it's called.

Like shorts? No, there's a specific dueling style where you have your rapier and then you have a little dagger that you use basically for like deflecting blows. And it feels like that. It's like, dueling, but like, advance dueling or something like that, it's not sick.

Yeah, or I could be, I'm like, trying to think because I know that both protection and interception use your reaction to, like, protection use your reaction to cause disadvantage on only one attack, unfortunately, and interception causes, interception is bad. It's also usually your reaction. So I think you kind of have to nerf it, unfortunately, to make it a fighting style that didn't just outclass all the other fighting styles.

In my dream, you get as a reaction, just do a check and that will say what you can raise or lower your AC by. Yeah, that's cool. Let's live in your dream. It's called a main gosh by the way, just so that nobody comments on that. A main gosh. A main g-a-u-c-h-e. All the main gosh heads out there were type of pureness. They were, they were coming for it. It sounds like, it almost sounds like another name for like your crush or something. Like, oh gosh, I like him so much. He's like my main gosh.

Yeah, like, oh, we are rapier and gosh. My main gosh. It's time someone's earbook though. He's always been my main gosh. You deflect the blows of all of my enemies. Yeah, I think interesting idea, but it's gonna end up being too much rolling. And it also kind of goes against the God of mediocrity

because you're gonna have like wild successes and failures, you're gonna be getting hit. Yeah. A lot. I think it's gonna be way less consistent than like an AC of 16 or 17. Yeah. And we have all filled out a very long form

to pledge ourselves to the God of Mediacryty. Can I say right now, without mediocrity, if I would get more or less AC, 13, we don't know what that means. Yeah. It depends on your modifier to the thing you're using. I guess, yeah, what's Callie's next area? That's pretty good.

So you probably get like a really good AC boost, yeah? It'd be like 17 or 18. It'd be around the same. Yeah, so there you go. Yeah. Is anyone feeling this idea? This is work for anybody's eggs. Yeah, I'm into this whole land grab thing.

I'm trying to just do a accumulation. You get lost in the tank. Yeah, I'm lost in the tank. I'll roll for it. Okay, you're rolling for it. 15 and an eight. Okay. Doing the wrong for it. 15 and an eight. Okay. Doing the God of Media Academy role, Seth.

So, yeah, 23, what is it? Or it's half that. It's 11 and yeah. Every time I have to do the averaging in my head, it does feel like I'm splitting my brain in half. The God of Media Academy is actually torture- Yeah. It doesn't happen to do averages.

They're bullying. Did Jake even need to roll? No, no, no, no. I just want this idea. I'm sticking with scary Perry. So like I'm set. Okay. We're going to windshield business.

Cool. Well, as long as there's no other offers, I will lowball you for this. You're not having egg. Yeah, that's the egg sandwich here today. You're making a cooked, full run, it is slender. And it was the egg that was clogging the filter. Oh, great, great.

I lost our hotters. Good to be a little clear. Yeah, I was going to say it was going to be a little rough here. And all my piercing blood can run clean. All right, everybody. We're going to wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be hearing from some more hatchlings

over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod, that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d, don't sing yet. I'll be back next week with another episode and a short rest after that. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to plug? We've got two things. Oh, two things to plug. Okay, I like it. Once a personal plug. Okay. Yes, rock botanicals, brother-sister beard oil is back. Great. East Rock Botanicals, brother sister, beard oil is back. Great. We're on hiatus. It's back, the website's live, so you can get beard oil again.

Okay. And then a group plug. We just announced three new shows. What? Atlanta, Nashville, and Denver. That's right. Oh yeah, Denver's coming out. So yeah, Denver's coming up in October.

All of those tickets are live right now at natpod.com. Snush live. Come see us in Nashville. Small hometown show. Oh yeah. If this is coming out Thursday, I think you need the artist pre-sale code, which is Paul Paul.

That's right, yeah. P-A-W-P-A-D. So go ahead and enter that in. It's right. Yeah, you can get them before anybody else. And we apologize if you paused to feverishly go buy tickets. Didn't know that yet. But you can do it now. But you can do it now. So yeah, come to feverishly go buy tickets. I didn't know that yet. Yeah, but you can do it now, but you can do it now. So yeah, come to Nashville and make my dad proud.

Yeah, oh yeah, the hometown show. Oh, I'm gonna show. Let's turn out. Should we all wear outfits for it? Yeah, no, we should all dress up on our Sunday best. What kind of outfit would make your dad the most proud? Should we all wear varsity letter or jacket? Well, couple of things over the lunch.

It's great. Yeah, I have been lying to him and saying that I'm the kicker for the Tennessee Titans. You're not. I think I've passed for a Titan. Okay. Yeah. So you're all going to need to pretend that you are members of my football team. Yeah, I've been having to doctor a lot of footage of the games. Yeah.

It's a full-time job. Yeah, awesome. I would also love to plug our PO box if that's okay. Yeah, PO box. Get yourself a PO boy and enjoy these PO boxes. No, here we go. I've got some nice notes to shout out this time around. Let's see, Caroline W sent us a nice drawing for Emily.

Also, I will say we really enjoyed Dallas. Thank you for having us, Caroline. You did. Thank you. Rachel and Emily sent us a save the date for their wedding in Denver. Whoa, we're gonna be in Denver soon. Yeah, I'll be at the wedding.

Congrats you two. We're gonna be there for the live show. If you're there, we'll congratulate you in person. Hope you have a nice wedding. I might show up at the wedding and object casually. Yeah, we are allowed to do that by right when you send a say to the date. And when I go, is it a wedding in romance

your aunts and uncles? And I will be dressed as a Tennessee Titan. I'll kick your wedding dress. I will also be dressed as a Tennessee. Just a hard sideline to poorly kicked ponds. Oh my god, you're so annoying. Keep a Gatorade bat to their grandfather. Hahaha.

We're just gonna be tackling cousins, be it Syriks? Kirk cousins. Uh, Roxanne sent us a lovely letter and a picture of their Boston terror gully. So named because he honks like a seagull, I would definitely pay money to see that. Cute. Shout out to gully, I would definitely pay money to see that. Cute.

Shout out to Gully. Keep on honking, bud. Oh yeah. Let's see. Sidney at KOMY England said, it's a sharpie drawing of the duck team, as well as a drawing of murder for Zarat. Ah!

Ah! That's perfect. I love it. I will never show it to Murph. Ah, Murat. Ah, ah. A lot of G, send us a letter specifically praising Jake. It even includes a Photoshop of Jake's head on Ben Affleck,

mid-Duncan drop. Okay. Thank you. It's a great gift for Jake. He needs it. Thank you. Ben asking for it for a while. And AJ wrote us a very sweet note and wanted to shout out

his fiancee Nancy's work. Specifically, he wanted Emily to check out her work, but I'm telling everyone to do it. Go to atnancy.art.musiconinsta. Why not? Why not? Yeah, you're on your phone anyway, probably you're listening to the show.

Just tab on over. We got a graduation announcement for McKinsey O. Congrats McKinsey and good luck at Purdue. And then one last one, Vee sent us a note saying they've listened to one big bed over 100 times on Spotify and are planning on getting some of the lyrics as a tattoo. Ooh! That's awesome.

Music made flesh, how's it make you feel? Wow, do it on your forehead. It's like your forehead. If you're a big fan, you'll do it on your face. Dedication as a price. Just do it like a very tiny on your cheek, says freckles. In tiresome, all the words.

I like that, yeah. You can do it as notes on freckles. That's really cool. And that's like a moonshine that. Yeah. As notes, I'm freaking. That's really cool. And that's like a moonshine cosplay as well. So that's good. Sweet guys, get a follow us on. You can follow us on social media. There we're me, Reynout Yuz.

Etsy, Tmerse, me. I call this call bowl, Adi, Extra, Demi, and Atchik, Irts, and Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag, NADPOT, that's NADP. That's NADP. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are We are the youth of the nation.

That was a hit gun podcast. It's the end of the show everybody and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D. Jeffreyes, Hugh C. Later McSkater, Matt M. Jordan DJ, Cutter W. Daniel G. Dillon B. Who is selling a glad trading card for 100 brown leaves. Live from New York, it's Dungeon Mama. Daniel the Dasterly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P. Michael McD. Vincent W. Mr. Cole, Victor T, Boundor's boy, Dominic P, Andrew B, Justin I, Ragnar Faredwind, TJ M. The Noom Barbarian, Trayla The Cray, Jerody, Christopher B, Daniel R, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Jerry Master of the Guy Horn, Richardx Machina, Mike Lell, Taylor S, Calamel, Jack L, Sam L, Nicholas C, Fadiator, Lay Gladiator, Samuel B, Mike

H, Matthew E, Way cooler than Angry Wheat, Adam G, Tyler F, Faust, The Feisty, Panama James, Andrew the Bard, Nope, sorry, Andrew the Druid here, Adrian the Halfling Bartificer, Calder's other helm which is possessed by the spirit of L. Che Guevara, Captain sigil, Diana DL, C.C. Lulu, Hercule Poiro, the rabbit folk detective, Timmy R, Lucas B, RICO, It's Kevin, Calder's cold com, Hashtag rise my my CUM RADS, Spread the CUM, Rotary, KDW, Taylor B, The vengeful one-winged angel, CASS, skateboard, CASS, Captain of the Stevens, Steven C, Mike K, Lady Taco, Brian G, Joy T, Nara, K, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, Agniddy, who's not above bragging about having tickets for both the NY show and Margarita Mayhem.

Foster the boneless duck, Aron the Assel Ranger, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, Eric McD, Giant Monsters on the horizon, Glad Roselle the White Rose of Galatoron, Christian A, J. Dragonborn, Joe Rowe the Inepropro, Liam D, the Sandrion, Ben A. Feldonis. John III. Dave H. Vivian. Kuala Bear. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce.

Book Vars assistant. ICF. The Time Walker. Markey Mark the Marvelous Mining Engineer. Kat C. Kelsi J. Pork Chop. Mesa of House in Zunza. Ariel the occasional mermaid, Chris S, the

purveyor of the ultimate blend of Butterfinger BBs and the Vervein Elixir, Selina N, aka Velac Raptor, Bperky Always, Pat El, Occhuta A, Lauren H, Ryan S, the Bone Duster, NEM, the Crochet Crafty Queen, the Charming Fluff, Robots CRSP, Telekitty Creations, fan Illustrator, asking for a request. I'm gonna say let's do last week, Callie and Foster hyping each other up. Ploups, Carly A, Addy K, Wesley T.A., random NPC with a funny voice, AP Claric,

Laurie P, Merv the Nerf mascot, Grant L, Conor S, Christopher J Pepplepot, to the two riders my first D&D party may all our adventures be wondrous thank you for being my friends. Celil, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Sullivan H, Trub Hopdropper, Sydney T, Jack H, Strong Caldwell Conspiracy Theorist. Fander A. Says at, he H. Murph, who's an nasty little Peepie boy? Garble the Moist, Lindy W. Juicy Kiwi featuring Murph Slav after Caldwell called Shane's murderer, a jerk.

Champ Wilde, Valin, Beep, Carlin C. Stay in the Dragon Man, holder of too many bags, Emily S. Cody and TRP, Pendergreens roommates, Harry Cox, Noah the bagel of all things, Justin L. Torrey, Levi L. Pendergreens, Pungent Putting, Hashtag CCC, Hashtag Slang & Rope. O and T. Mrs. Bunny, Marcos P. Jordan P. the occasional crit reporter,

learns the balance druid, Dakota James P. Frida M. Pago self-proclaimed faith prince, Tracy P, the Crick L. librarian, Friar Fritz, and D.E. Dina S, Holly Hyena, Kristen Z, that I will use what you love against you DM, Leah C, Paige H, Helen of Brizz, May B, Pixel Stars, Akash T, Kristen with a K, Cal, just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison N, Russell H, a monk named Dillgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time. Nios, the novice monster hunter, our strangely familiar new friend Simon, we all had a shared dream he insisted we sing Artemis and Pars of all by gunship.

Patrick, LorelI.F. Mike the Adorkable Bike, Morgan M. A Peeling Sticker, Steven E. Coral, Sydney and Andrew L. John Adams, yes, like the president. Meg the Male Carrier of Bohumia, James F. Captain Cappy, M4L, Wayfarer, currently in a trademark dispute with Motherhip over the patent on the SS Storm Bjorn. Indruby, Cope Fresh, Barbo Good Barrel, Barbarian and Brewer, Emeritus of Waterdeep, Welsh Lander, Garrett G, One Big Curd, Eric M, Mr. D, Mr. Silly Head, Ethan B, Monster Captain Renee S, Hopped the Dancing Rabbit, Hopes Dagger, the only Dagger of Hope, hop the dancing rabbit, hopes dagger the only dagger of hope. Olivia the enchanting bard who will totally be making money and a grand novel off of the

duck team's tails. Blue shade the artificer. Michaela R. Riley S. Sir Sagan 93. FICO. Angry Wheat. The game itself just trying to find himself.

Tony G. Thrath. Corbos, Clamadus, Comshot, Hashtag, CCC Forever, sorry Jake. Josh H. Jack the Jack's, Jinksing Rogue, in search of Bohumia's biggest balls. A horse killed by hard one. Mango and Panadas.

Temadar, yes, I'm the twin brother of Demadar. No, I'm not proud of it. Rented mules, Trog d'Or the Burninator. Clementine Turner, Caleb L, Obi-Quan, Simone Bird Life M, Calder's Costic CUM, J-Wonder a sentient micenate going door-to-door,

handing out religious pamphlets. Can trip Dumbledore the bear onesie wearing barbarian with a bad back. Papa lookie, MJ the BFG drinking tea by the sea. Camden L, Ducky, Samantha K, A big squid, Kronus, Maximus, Geno T, Squid Minty, Alden F, and finally, Critan, Mick N. And that's it for this week.

Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our Benevolent Council of Elders. You can listen to our after show over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash natpa, that's NADDDPOD. We'll see you all next time. and of course our benevolent counsel of elders.

You can listen to our after show over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash natpa, that's any DDPOD. We'll see you all next time.