Not Another D&D Podcast - Tortle Tank: Passive Eggcome

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Torts discuss plot armor, potion gambling, and goo.CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Total Tank, everybody. Sploosh, Bluze. Sploog. Sploog. Sploge. Sploge. Sploge. Sploge.

Throwing to Jay Kerwitz. I think it has an actual influx. Shell-low hatchlings and tanks for tuning in. Shellcome to Total Tank, an exciting show or Shell, for the those who think outside the box, Turtle. I'm Lake Turtwitz, along with your celebrity host, Shellmally Wax Board,

flying surfy, and of course we've got Called Shell Turtle Stanner. Let's guide in. Thank you for the intro. Turtle Stanner. Jesus. The intro,

I feel like I'm front row at like a pop music concert. I'm cheering for Sabrina. up there. I'm a big stand for a classic pop music concert. I snort two thick lines of cocaine before we do the video. Or a turtle sploosh. Our first pitch comes from Adriana. Adriana writes, hello turtles. I hope your day is going swimmingly.

Oh my goodness. That's very clever. Have you ever been playing a martial character with low decks and therefore terrible AC just waiting for the day, your DM? gives you plate armor so you and the rogue are no longer just as easy to hit. Fair. Well, let me introduce you to plot armor. Plot armor is a feat you can take that allows you to get a plus two AC boost whenever a party member of yours drops to zero HP. It's a great feat for martial characters who are here to make the last stand and take the big

hits. I currently use it as my oath of Crown Paladin in my current campaign, and we flavor the reasoning to be as the battle gets tougher, I'm emboldened by the need to protect my friends. It's also a great way to make the back half of difficult long combat feel a little more engaging, add a little more hope to what is usually quite a sad moment. In terms of balancing, we don't usually let it count more than once per party member, and it has not affected our propensity to heal party members. No one is letting themselves or others drop for my AC boost.

You immediately answered my question. That's right. It's a tight pitch. They're plugging all of the holes. I've got beefs, but continue. Okay. Oh, no matter how small the hole, Murph will find it. Please don't say that.

He'll wriggle in there, he'll poke at it vigorously. All I'm asking you return is one of your eggs poached and a WWE fact from Murph. Oh, thank you for your time. Okay, you have gone from my heart, unfortunately. Okay, really quickly before we go on, what is a poached egg? You crack it into a boiling pot of water and you stir it, so it kind of like cooks the egg and you better put a little white vinegar in there to keep it together yeah i was gonna say how does it not it's when you illegally hunt an egg

soup for its shell right like in the rescuers down exactly i did have a what are you going to say that this animal was going after this like really weird like hybrid bird squirrels children and i really just thought like oh my god like it must be so sad when you're an animal and one of your kids is plucked from your nest. Certainly, yeah. It was a nightmare. I think they don't like that. No, they get upset for sure.

But in the dream, the animal was doing it for nice reasons, but I was like, that thing, okay, this is completely unimportant. It's completely unimportant. Let's move on. So now that I know how to poach an egg, I can engage. We'll get to chapter two of this dream after this pitch. All right. Well, first, okay, so we love that you're asking for WWFACs.

You seem like a wonderful person. that being said okay i feel like i already the plot armor part of it already kind of takes me out of it just the name itself just the name itself plot armor already my hackles are up i could see that right because it does take you out it's like kind of meta commentary and so like instead of being like last stand or something that like has you also what's cool it's a branding issue yeah it's a little bit of a branding issue but beyond the branding issue i would say this is a little bit they want to give you that Borumir moment, right? Yeah.

Or you get hit with a bunch of arrows, but you keep fighting. Having high AC doesn't do that. Having high HP does. No, having high AC can increase your longevity. I've definitely- It increases your longevity, but you're not getting hit. So I'm saying it doesn't feel like a last stand. This doesn't, I'm saying we've got a branding problem, but then also I think the core

mechanic here isn't achieving the thing that it's supposed to achieve. I see you're saying it just like puts them into like superhuman mode where they're like fending off every single attack rather than sustaining every single attack. Yeah. I see. I see your beat. There's the zealous barbarian and this is a pretty high level thing. At 14th level, you shrug off fatal blows while you're raging, having zero HP doesn't knock you unconscious. You'll still make death saving throws and you suffer the normal effects of taking damage while zero hit points.

However, if you would die from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So basically you just can stay up and keep taking hits and lose death saving throws. I think there's a mechanic that you could build off of that or do a temp HP thing. Or I guess you could just like reduce the AC by two and boost every other stat. Like you do extra damage but your AC goes down. So you're more vulnerable but you are able to like do more damage and just like affect the battle more. I don't know. There's a lot of ways to kind of twist this.

I think this is that overcomplicating it a little bit. I'm like maybe, you know, something like we had in campaign one. where you could use like hit dice during battle. I think this is, you want like a dig deep thing. Yeah. Yeah. What if you start taking half damage when somebody goes down? That's just raging, right?

I mean, I kind of like the idea that bonus action you can use a hit die or something like that. Yeah. However, I do think this is fun though because it's also, it sounds like it's applying to the whole table. But like only one PC can have it. And I, that also, because part of me was like, if this was a feature of a character, maybe it would feel really fun, but maybe by the fourth time it happened, you wouldn't feel that drama. Yeah, I just imagine it. So I do think HP makes it feel more like a movie moment. Like, I'm imagining a situation where we're all at the table and two people go down and then

you're about to get hit. And it's just like, oh, actually, I have, I have 21 AC now because my friends are down. I don't get hit at all. I have a question, though. Does it say Boromir in the pitch, Jake? It does not. It does. So it doesn't say Boramir. So their idea of a last stand might not be you're taking arrows but still fighting it might be I saw my friend go down I'm locking in I am unleashing a new level of myself it's true their aura might be flaring yeah I think maybe maybe it's less of a last stand and more of a just I'm going to keep fighting but I do think that that would apply to HP and not AC this might be more of a Goku situation where he sees krill and go down and that's going to go super saying sure this is what we're working exactly I was going to say Jake was

going to say it was on the tip of his tongue is on the absolutely The tip of his talk. Jake loves Gecko. Absolutely, Goku's situation. I was going to say it was similar to Gecko. He's re-watching the Fretsos saga right now. I was going to say I'm re-watching the Fretsos saga right now. And you love Frezza or hate Fretza?

I was going to say I have mixed feelings. That makes sense. Freezo becomes a little bit more of a complicated figure later. Jake has watched ahead. freeze it excuse me i think i think this is fun especially because the table's enjoying it and like it does um give a silver lining to because sometimes like if someone goes down it can feel really hopeless and it does give like a little boost of hope i'm also really curious to try to poach an egg now so i i am going to try i am going to offer a poached egg but i don't know if it's going to keep

together in the water the fun thing you have to do is you have to create like a little whirlpool for the egg first and then you drop it in. This sounds really fancy and I'm actually out now. It is kind of intimidating. The last tweak I want to offer, even though it's totally unnecessary, I'm just thinking out loud because it's fun and we have to fill time anyway

so why not? What if you tied it to death saves or death fails even? So it's just like your AC boosts the more death fails. Why is everyone on this AC? Just no... I'm okay. But you know what, this person has come forward. All they asked for is one poach deck, which scared off Emily and one wrestling fact.

The issue is that the AC is the problem that this person is trying to solve. But it's what they want to solve. I feel like the reasoning for the AC boost is like not perfect. It's not a perfect fit. But what they want is more AC at earlier levels. Yeah, they just want to get stronger when their friends go down. Yeah. And so I'm into it.

Yeah. So where does this leave us? What's that WWE factor? Let's see. Okay. So I guess I got to, I was trying to furiously think of something because I was like, I'm not going to look it up. So it has to be just like something I kind of remember.

Raw dog it. At WrestleMania 5, the then women's champion, rock and Robin, I believe, sang America the Beautiful to open the show. Okay. That's great. Because they were undermining women's wrestling so much that they're just like, we got to have the women's champion on there, but we don't want to let her wrestle,

so we're just going to have her sing. Oh, she didn't get to wrestle at all. She absolutely did not get to wrestle at all. She just sang America's Beautiful and was not really like a singer. Was just like, just went out and tried your best. That's also, normally you sing the national anthem when you open something, not America the Beautiful. So another strange Vince McMahon fact,

he likes America of the Beautiful a lot more than, than the national anthem, yeah. Having a favorite patriotic song is just insane behavior. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. I couldn't even begin to have an opinion. Well, noted deranged person, Vince McMahon. Yes, exactly.

Just another fact, just another check in that column, I guess. Okay. All right, so I offered and rescinded. Yeah, I think there's something here, whether it's, you know, switching it from AC to HP or something like that using hit die. I kind of like the angle I was working with the death fail. So I'm going to definitely poach this egg. Unless your players are enjoying it, I want you for this sake. of the story to change the name plot armor

because I've always heard it used derisively and it just makes me like worry that it will have a twinge of lowering the stakes when it happened. I think it is, it is to be cheeky. Oh shit, but we know I hate jokes. I hate jokes. I hate jokes. If your table's enjoying it though. It's the no turtles.

If your tables enjoy that that's fine, it's just like if it if for anyone they like cross their arms and they're like, well, I guess no one's actually dying in this game. Can the Terra pun come in with a swoop? How about fate armor as opposed to plate armor? Call it that. Oh.

Oh, I like that. There you go. Yeah. That honestly makes me like it more because I don't feel like these two puzzle pieces are not fitting together for me. Yeah. And does anyone else think you should just put points into decks as like a fighter? Well, no, no, no, because a lot of times.

But I've been this person. I'm saying they're trying to solve a problem. That's not a problem. Merf, I've been this person. Sometimes there are... So am I. That means your constitution's pumped up and you just have more HP. Sometimes as a fighter, you've got to prioritize strength and you roll like dog shit for the rest of your stats.

So you're just like, okay. Yeah. Sometimes D&D is just making problems that you have to solve. That's the one part. Fate armor just made me crack my egg over this pot. Tell you what. Whoa. You're going to pouch?

I'm poaching. You're going to poach? I'm poaching this idea. I think, yeah, maybe make it a feat so that you're, like having to sacrifice something else to get it and then maybe I'm fully on board. Maybe I'll poach two eggs. Heck, why not? If the table's feeling it, I'm on board with fate armor and you're all just passing it around. That being said, I'm too intimidated to poach an egg. So I'm out. All right. And it sounds like Caldwell outbid me with two poached eggs. So this is all Caldwell.

Sorry, called Shells. And I did work too close to the water and I have a first degree burn on my face from the steam. Oh, no. Our next pitch comes from Old Nog. Old Nog writes. Wow. I really a really vivid picture of who you are at Game Up in my mind and it's definitely a cartoon from a Dickinson novel.

I don't know if they have cartoons in those but. We do now. Torts, I'll keep this short and sweet. I know what I have and I know what it's worth. Beginners luck. Any player who has never played D&D gets one D6 luck points rolled with advantage

for their first session. What? This serves the purpose of teaching advantage and disadvantage and giving a brand new player more chances. He could have 12. It could have, wait. Oh, wait, no. With advantage. It's not just double.

It's not just double. It's not just double. I'm an idiot. It's likely going to be a lot. Forgive me. Any player who has played but is new to the table gets one D4 luck points. No advantage. This allows a person new to the group to have a good time and takes the pressure off those early poor roles. I'm seeking 10% off of all future eggs hatched after the implementation of this rule.

but I am open to haggling and tweaks. You never say you're open to haggling, by the way. So I'm going to tear you apart. Okay. Are you feeling lucky? I have a confection, which is that I actually missed that whole pitch because I spent the whole time self-flagellating about the fact that I said Dickinson instead of Dickens. Okay.

Okay. So I feel like, once again, this might be kind of solving a problem that doesn't need to be solved, which I think some of the most fun bonding moments you can have is having bad moments, is having bad roles. Detention. Yeah, the tension. Also, it takes away the tension because if you're rolling with advantage, you're probably going to have five or six luck points.

So it is this weird thing of like, I don't know, it's like being the new kid at school and the teacher just being like, this kid's special. This kid's really special and he's awesome. Now go talk to everybody. This kid can pee their pants three times and it's fine. We won't make fun of them.

And it doesn't fucking count. It doesn't count if he shits himself in gym class. He doesn't need to change his pants. You have to pretend it's not real. Yeah. Isn't there also like baked into the game now everyone every day gets a heroic inspiration? If you're a human character. If you're a human.

Okay. Okay. You could just give them a point of heroic inspiration for their first game. Yeah. But it's worth noting that like if you're new to D&D, learning how to play with six luck points is not necessarily. Like, yeah, you're not learning how to play the game. I also would argue, what do you guys think endeared you when you initially played D&D?

Because I think failing was failing and facing consequences made me laugh so hard that I think that's probably what endeared me. Totally. Yeah. Getting my shit kicked in because I did something stupid or failed a role is that's the best part of the game. Yeah. And also the DM has the ability to just like kind of, you know, offer advantage on a new player's first role. True. True, true, you can, yeah, you just be more liberal with your advantage.

Also, if they're the only new person at the table, there's probably going to be other people being like, I give them the help action. Are you having fun? Yeah. Please don't let this fall apart. I'm imagining some of the disasters that happen in the first few sessions that I played D&D. And I'm thinking back and just being like, what if I had just re-rolled those six times? And just everyone was just like, you rock, dude. you like the bad guys in town that we're trying to push you around yeah fucking intimidated

yeah if you if you had advantage on six roles in your very first session and then the next session you dropped off to normal yeah not even just a re-roll is so much better than advantage because you can see if you need it or not like you get to roll the one dice first you know what i mean yeah you know i think you're kind because you're looking out for the first timers and you want to But I think you get it with just you have a point of heroic inspiration. Yeah, I think you're your helicopter DMing a little bit. Whoa. Like you don't want them to go off into the world and get hurt,

but they kind of need that to really learn the game. And the bomb, yeah. They got a bonk every once in a while. Let the kids run. They got to bonk their head on the coffee table every once in a while. Yeah. It'll build character. Not speaking from experience of anything.

I do think that the DM should have a special dice that they handed them to say this is your DM inspiration dice use this in a moment of me And it's all 20s That's a way to do it, right? Yeah, certainly. Yeah, each side says you're doing great

They're also asking for 10% of all future eggs Which is a pretty hefty song Yeah, again we don't want to get lost in the tank I feel like right No, but you're kind of right Because, like, you never know some... We kind of just weigh in on if we would put this in our game or not. Right.

Some clutches are more fruitful than others. So 10%, you never know what you're giving away. It's just like the tank is getting worried. We're kind of getting lost. And I mean, I've had a long career as a turtle. I have a lot of eggs in different places. And as they grow, I'm not going to give 10%. Also, also think about it if one of those eggs might then go on to have their own eggs,

in which case I'm missing out on those eggs. I just feel like, yeah. It's honestly, the bookkeeping gets overweight. I think we're losing sight. I would rather do a flower. Yeah, you want to turn this into passive egg cum. We're all known for a robust of clutches is the thing. Okay.

Passive egg cum is my favorite thing that's ever been said on the show. I respect that you're trying to help out the new players. Yeah, your heart's in the right place. This is much too rich for my eggs. May I ask a question? Jake, was watch this your very first role? I don't know. No, because that was in the like swamp.

But if you had realistically, try and go back to a time where you had different expectations about what D&D was about, if you had a re-roll, six luck points, or let's say even three, would you have been like, okay, I'm actually going to choose to try and. Yeah. I'm going to try and re-roll that. If I just like re-rolled that, I think, I don't know. I guess I probably would have felt like some kind of pressure to do it because it was such a failure. And I would have lost that like really funny moment.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that was like a formative role for my D&D plan. I think that might have been your first one. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, you don't want to take the sting out of that.

Yeah. You really don't. You want to feel like. And you would have felt pressure too because you would be like, I don't really know the game. They gave me all these luck points. I guess I better use them. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? I should hop over this puddle. Yeah. You do it so well that all the Pobold's flee. Yeah. I re-roll and get a 12, so I kind of make it. Yeah. fine great okay so i think no one's gone for it all right yeah price was too steep and we you know

we felt like price doesn't really matter as much but yeah it's just kind of too many look points i think but i will say if they were just asking for a poached egg i might have tossed in well all right the next pitch let's list all the different types of things show is about me saving eggs and building passive egg cum i have a question though do you guys actually the way that you guys describe poached egg it sounds horrendous. Is it actually good? It's good. It sounds watery. It's good.

I mean, it's especially good when someone else makes it. It's like a hard boiled egg, but it's soft inside. Yeah. I made a lot. I love a soft boiled egg. Yeah. I made a lot during the pandemic because it's just a great way to like stare at a swirling pool of water and forget about everything else.

Sure. Look at something other than your phone at that point. Exactly. It's a good way to pass the time. If you're looking at your phone too much, might I recommend eggs. Incredible. Okay. Our next pitch comes from D-Bot.

Good Day Tortals. I come with unique opportunity for the discerning investor. Ooh, okay. Now that you've kind of said, like, if you are discerning, you will like this. I think I'm ready to make an offer. This reminds me. It's just so easily one over. This is amazing.

This reminds me of all the job offer scams I get on my phone. Yeah. Those are really increasing, huh? Life is bad. But this offer is going to be good. I can feel it. I present the Mercurial elixir. This healing potion is not for the faint of heart, but with great risk comes great reward.

Okay. Once the potion is taken, the player rules a D6. On a six, the potion acts as a superior healing potion, 8D4 plus 8, a 5, 64 plus 6, continuing down to 2D4 plus 4. On a 1, the player loses one hit point or fails a death-saving throw. I know you're asking yourselves, why would someone pick this potion over? for a sure bet. It might be the thrill of gambling. It might be the chance to let the dice tell their story. Most likely, it's that they retail for five gold pieces of less and a traditional potion of healing. Tortals, I'm offering 49% of my company in exchange for five eggs. That's a

good deal, everybody. Wow. And a comprehensive legal liability plan. Everyone stop. I'm feeling very discerning. Shou flay could be fun. You can sue flay and egg. Continue. Comprehensive legal liability plan for the inevitable. player lawsuits, and there will be lawsuits. The trick here is that there's four of us. So somebody's going to have to dip, somebody's going to have to chip in the extra egg. And I don't know who that's going to be. I guess we'll have to see who really wants it.

Oh, no, our clutches, though. Yeah, we all have clutches. Yeah, we all have clutches. Yeah, sure. We have Scrooge McDuck amount of eggs. I have a question. So what was the height of that? If you roll a six, how many HP are you rolling?

It's a superior healing potion, 8D4 plus 8. I don't know. This honestly sounds too good to me. Because losing just one HP is not that big of a gamble. Yeah. Yeah, I think I like this, but I think it needs to be more severe. Yeah, I think so too. Here's my thing with it, right?

Is that it kind of doesn't make any sense from a... Huh. Ooh, Murph is in a mood today. Well, it's not sure. Well, it's hard to make this home brew stuff. That's why it's, you know, that's why there's game designers and stuff. I'm teasing you, brother. I think the problem I have with it is that I do think that something like this should probably just be a one-off magic item or it should be at like a cursed item shop or something like that.

Just the idea that you can go out and just buy like, here is this potion that is of what quality, I have no idea, kind of takes me out of it just from like a role playing perspective and like a world building aspect or just like, well, we've got our superior potion or like, I don't know, just take it. logic into anything else. It's just like, here's Pepsi. Here's Pepsi that might be poison. That's just available at the store. I will say, yeah, Murph, you had a really good joke at a potion shop we went to at some point where the poison was like a certain shade of green. Oh, there were all just, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that like that's, it can work in that environment where you've got kind of a kooky potion cell. Just a, yeah. I think it needs to be the weird guy in town has his weird like curiosos and has like strange. things in his shop.

I would put this one out in the moon and I spit in it. Yeah, exactly. So I think it would need to have like some kind of unstable potion master to make this unstable potion. I wouldn't just be like, these potions are available everywhere because that kind of doesn't add up. Yeah. Especially because the way it's written, I would just get it every time.

Yes, totally. I would be like superior to a potion. Yeah, so it is like losing a hit point isn't that bad. That being said, losing a hit point when you think you're going to gain your points. is bad and could kill you. There is something fun about it, but you need to, like, know the risks up top. And Merv is right. It should be kind of like a one-off thing or, like, just a limited supply.

I am drawn to just the name Mercurial elixir. Yeah. And that, to me, I'm like, that's a scamp potion seller. I think that's not a... Mercury's muddles. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a special idea, so you might as well treat it like one.

Don't make them ubiquitous in your campaign. Yeah. Anybody can sell them. Right. No, you're worth a little. bit is what I'm saying here yeah we're gonna I don't think any of us are buying it but we are telling you to know your worth know your worth should we brainstorm this potion seller a little bit too I want to like see like what they're like because I think that's really going to be our

value ad here is like we're going to provide you with the kooky potion seller yeah yeah in your town yeah what was the name in the oh mercutio you can name it mercutio like in um Romeo and Julia sure yeah that's good because he's a scamp. He's absolutely a scam. Is he the Prince of Cats? I'm not thinking to someone else. There's a Prince of Cats in Romeo and I don't. That's his nickname is the Prince of Cats. That's actually so sick. I was the nurse. I was the Nurse. I consider myself the Prince of Cats, but.

I think he should bite him. Mercurio. That's what it was. Mercutio. I called it Mercutio. Mercutio is O and 1 famously, so I do think maybe I could take them. Guys, before the Shakespeare had roast me, it's Tibelt was the Prince of Cat. Oh, Tibble. Wait, really, but he's the bad guy. Mercutio, right?

That's what I'm saying, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Shit, I can't take Tibald. He's one and O. No, Romeo kills him. Does Romeo kill him? He's one in one. I was literally in this play and I don't know if Romeo kills Tibble or not.

Again, I was the nurse. My scenes were very Julia. Does Romeo kill Tibol? The line in the movie is Romeo slew Tibul. Romeo shall not live. Oh, you're right. So right. Okay.

only saw the movie. I saw it in theaters with my friend Nile. Shout out, dude. Shout out. Absolutely shout out. Shout out to Nile. Fellow Leo fan. Fellow Blair Dane's dude. You're a Danes dude. And a Leo lover? Okay. So is anyone, and I do think that what you should do is you should just have a little kooky old man that's like, I forgot something for you in the back. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's got like a long beard and it's like stained with potion oil. Yeah, only has really expensive potion, but has weird fucked up once in the back. Yeah, but he's also just got like

a Baja Blast machine. Sure. I like this enough that I would, I'd toss in five eggs for it. It's 49% of the company. That's passive egg gum. Yeah. A little lost in the tank. I'm actually going to scoop, Jake, and I'm going to put in five

eggs myself. I'm actually going to put in six eggs to kind of just like make it a bidding war. This is the second time you outbid me, dude. And then I'm just going to poach an egg on my own. Yeah, I'm going to try it because I did just buy a basil plant. So I'm thinking about like learning how to cook. I feel like because this episode I've kind of turned down a lot of offers.

I'm kind of turning it into this. Who is it on a Great of British Bake Off? Is his name Paul Hollywood? Yeah. Okay. So Paul Hollywood does like the handshake. One of these times I'm going to shake their hand. The No Torto's Tortle is going to shake one person's hand.

No matter how bad. last pitches. If I haven't picked up anything, I'll shake it. Can I make a prediction? It's going to be Caldwell. You're going to end up shaking Caldwell's hand for a pun that you begrudgingly like. Oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah. If I don't like any of the ideas, I'll compliment

what I've called those funds. And please remember to have hand sanitized because turtles are filthy. Yeah. There's something there. There's something there. This episode of NADPOT is brought to you by Squarespace. Your one-stop for grabbing domain names and then building beautiful, sexy, and dare I say it, important websites. It'll start with a domain search.

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I'm engaged. I start prepping my hand in salt water. I walk out from where I was cobbling shoes. What? Because that's when town criers were crying. When criers are crying, cobblers were cobbling. That's right.

We have to move on. The ring of my blacksmith hammer dies down as I hear somebody say, oi, from outside my door. I burst out of the pie I was baked into. I paused my Super Nintendo. I lift my head from the stocks. Here it is, social dice. When traveling or resting, players can reach into a pile of D6 to claim one to apply to their next role.

All they need to do is interact socially. with the other players, usually asking questions about them in most cases. This has changed our usual game drastically, and we now have an abundance of sidequests lined up based on characters' backstories that likely never would have been uncovered otherwise. I love this. Best of all, they are organically made from the players themselves all in their efforts to min-max for their next encounter. Have I solved the power gamer, social gamer, divide in one move?

Am I a genius warrior poet? to find out all I ask for is a chameleon egg for my son who is currently obsessed okay actually now is the time to admit that I haven't been a turtle all long I've been a emily yeah oh my god made myself look like a turtle the disguise is so good I'm so sorry this is on us camillians don't look that much like turtles at all this is absolutely on us yep sorry you surprise you put a jpeg of a turtle on your skin she just made herself green and we're like, she's one of us. I wore a turtle Halloween costume as a chameleon.

And you all fell for it. I have a question. What does the D6 do in this equation? I think it's like inspiration. You just get like, and you can add it to. So like it's a bardic inspiration, but it's for chatting with people. But you can use that later in non-socials. Yes, exactly.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. To a later role. I love this. I think that's so good because I do think that there is always this ambiguity between like what do we do in downtime, how focused are we supposed to be on the mission?

I feel like sometimes even at tables, there's like a lack of clarity about, am I allowed to talk to the other players or can I only talk to the DM? And this is like saying like, not only are you allowed to, you're encouraged to and rewarded by it. I love this.

It feels like just a real campfire scene or I'm reading Stormlight Archive and there's just a lot of descriptions of people making soup in that book. And it's just delicious and it's very enriching. And I feel like, like there's there's like something nice about this like communal downtime activity we're all like pulling dice out of the middle but like as you do it's almost like there's like a busy work

activity where everyone's like chopping vegetables or something you're like getting your backstory out it's so good yeah this is great that's interesting oh no oh shit his hand is quivering it's interesting i think i mean it sounds like it's really working for this person's game right so right but i mean right now if someone's pitching something we can say it works at your game but we're not going to a franchise that's kind of what I'm wondering right is is I'm like I think there is an element to this that is you know it is encouraging it to the point where it almost becomes mandatory where like you sit down at the fire at the end you're like well I need that fucking decent right I can see it becoming comfortable I have to go talk to the rogue about their

edgy backstory you know so you might hit like the bottom of the well of someone's backstory and then you're just like oh so what's your favorite food actually that's a fun conversation too though it is you know what it is very helpful I think for a table that this hatchling has said like to kind of solve power gamers so you've got power gamers here and this is a good way to encourage them I think just in my experience though it might take away some of the organic moments that happen of like it makes the low is less low but I think it also might make the highs less high because then you're not going to have that moment of like everyone goes to sleep and these two characters stay up and have this like moment of connection

or something because everyone's you know it's Expedition 33 and you're walking up and talking to everyone at the fire being like did I get my info did I get my info I got and I love that part I write in my journal every single time got a for those who fight further yeah for those who come after yeah those who come after for those who fight further that's ours seven it's neither of the Marrara's Murph yeah no that one's ours now that one's ours now I love the idea of trying to mechanize this interaction because it is to me that is like a big part of the game is like social downtime moments. I wonder just to offer my unnecessary tweak because I'm the complex turtle. I've got a weird looking shell. Maybe it's like when you do this, you both

whenever you engage someone else, you give them the dice. So it's like you're giving them a D6 of inspiration. The power gamers are not going to love that. They're not going to go for it, huh? Yeah. It's great that is working for your table. I'd be curious to hear. in the future if it ever does become cumbersome because if it does like I wonder almost about like when we start out an adventure with new characters it's like this is in play for a short time and then it's like an end point I don't know how you take it away it's also like the way the way that d&D works you're usually only having downtime like every few sessions right that's true that's rare and as you level up does it get less you know does it stay the same do you reach a point where you're like well we don't

have to have downtime conversations as much now that we're high level I do wonder if the power gamers in your campaign are thrusting more downtime into it. Yeah. Well, it's just a D6. Yeah. It's just a D6. It's just a D6. But you don't, I don't know.

I guess Caldwell brings up a good point that you don't have downtime that often. But if like every single session was like, oh, all right, no, I have to ask a question. Now I have to ask a question. Now, these two characters need to have a side conversation. It's like, I might just be like, can we just go to bed and do the battle tomorrow? That's what I want to get to. Yeah. And now that also, the fact that the submission has power gamers in there, I'm picturing

people asking a really thoughtful question and then going shark-eyed with disinterest. Yeah, exactly. Like, is there a way to not spam this? Jake, what if you make it like almost like a Heroes Feast alternative or something like that where like it's a special meal? Like it is like a last meal before a big battle sort of thing or it's like you like literally throw like a magic pine cone into the fire and it like awakens memories or something like So it is like, it's something that you, like, this is a common problem we encounter

on the show is like, it's not something you can use all the time, but it is like a special thing before big events. That's interesting, like kind of a lower level Heroes Feast because Heroes Feast is super expensive and is so good. If you can home brew something that's like a lesser Heroes Feast, that's kind of interesting. Heroes casserole. Yeah. And then it gives people and then you can kind of.

That way you can make it a little bit more organic. Damn, I might have to shake Caldwell's hands. I feel it. I knew this is where I was going to go. My fin is on ice. No, we thought we were going to do it as a joke about a stupid pun, but I actually really like the idea. I'm oiling up my hand right now. A lower level of heroes feast.

I've got the calamine lotion out. You have to rub that in. Why do you happen? That's really interesting because then as the DM, you could be like, like, how do you prepare the meal? Like, who are you talking to? What are you doing? And you can make it more organic and kind of paint the scene. Yeah.

Not, again, not that there's anything wrong with what this DM is doing because it sounds like it really works for this table. Right. Right. To me, it's a little too mechanical. I think a lower level Heroes Feast solves it. Just take away a few of the bells and whistles from Heroes Feast, make it something that is easier to do. I'm going to put my fin on ice and maybe Shay Caldus Handup. Well, well, it's an honor.

It's just an absolute honor to be like, just on the stage with you. So thank you. I know that my biscuits are sloppy, but, well, you know. All right. So does that mean? Yeah, does anyone... Wharf is buying it? Yeah, I think I'm in...

For one chameleon egg. You're driving... I'm in for one chameleon egg. Well, then you're going to have to come to me. Yeah, okay, so, Emily, can I have a chameleon egg? We're getting lost in the tank here. Make him beg for it. What are you going to give me for it?

Make a deal. Oh, turtle egg? I don't need a turtle egg. No, not a one-for-one trade. I hate to interject, but that is... Yeah, we're not doing one for one. I'll give you two. Because my eggs can look at, like, any eggs.

Emily, I got a full list of all the... ways you can prepare eggs. It's the Caldwell Tanner Egg exclusive cookbook. Okay. As someone who owns a basil plant now, I'm getting into cooking, so I will hit you up on that. You're going to love this. I'm saying with the French omelet, it's going to be great. I'm going to do a Japanese

style. Okonomayaki, are you kidding me? Let's get into it. Okay, great. All right, so I'm going to give a nice fin shake to this player and Caldwell at the exact same time because I do think it needs Caldwell's amendment on it. I think that makes it, that makes it solid. I had bought the player out of the way and shake Murph's hand.

Goes in for a hug. Misreads the handshake. A couple eggs pop out as I do it. I'm so excited. God, they're all covered in Calamine lotion. Okay, so this one belongs to Murph and Caldwell with

I guess an Emily egg. Yeah. All right. Our next pitch comes from Barron. Baron writes, What's up? Noddy Torties. I know. Okay. Yeah.

Love this energy. I really do. Everyone's intros have been very different and I love it all. I know we've got a busy day ahead, eating lettuce and breathing out of our buttholes. Yeah, too true. They do that. Too true. So I'll get right to it and I won't waste your time.

How many times have you desperately wanted to blackmail a gelatinous cube? Start a small business with the Wyvern. Teach a Griffin to appreciate art or ask a gibbering mouther if they dream. You know, I have a pretty active imagination and I don't. don't think I've encountered any of these impulses yet. Wow. If only there was someone who could solve this problem for us. Yes.

Only to realize that you can't communicate with them. Don't you love it when you cast speak with animals on a random critter and force your DM to come up with a silly little voice? There are spells that allow you to speak with plants and animals, but what about oozes, monstrosities, and aberrations? Well, I have the magic item for you. No longer will your monstrous musings go unanswered with the belt of monsters call. It's basically a belt that gives you a plus.

three bonus to interacting socially with monstrosities, aberrations, plants, elementals, and oozes incapable of speech. Also, once a day, you can use the belt to understand one of these types of creatures the same way you can speak to animals. The product is 90% there,

but we just need to work out some kicks. It is the belt that kills you. Many of our beta testers have unfortunately formed romantic attachments with cock. How can you not? Curiosity about what an ooze. lover would be that's a feature not a bug yeah I'm looking

for a single egg soft boiled in an egg cup with some toast cut into little soldiers oh like mommy used to make I'm interested in the preparation would you would you accept a poached poached at an egg cup get out of here you Philistine I like

this already because I remember as Calliopea took speak with plants and I believe it was third level and every time I used it I was like I was a fucking waste of a third level spell. You speak with animals is first level, right? Yeah. So you can like get information. Speak with plants.

I, at least for myself, never found. Well, I feel like animals are just kind of harder to track down. So first level, it's like, fine. You got to catch the animal before you can like ask it. Right. Moving around. A plant, you could just be like, what happened here, dude? Yeah, what's up grass?

Yeah. Hey, what's up grass? Did anyone get murdered here? Did you see who did the murder? Yeah. No, that's a very, uh, I saw everything. Yeah. And I guess trees live for like hundreds of years.

So you could get like the full history of a land but talking to a tree. Yeah. So I know it's weird that this is an item though and not a spell because I feel like making this like a second level spell or something that you can like burn in battle to try and like make it a social encounter. Seems fun to me. I don't hate it as an item.

It almost gives you like charisma. It's almost like a babble fish, right? Yeah. That you can have on you. Yeah. I wonder if you need the elements to it that is. Well, I guess, okay. So only once per day

you can use it to talk to a monster and other than that you just have like plus on charisma checks when talking to monsters which is kind of funny. Maybe narrow it down a little bit because right now it's like you have it with like elementals and all this stuff.

I feel like we should really lean into the like monster theming here. Well I feel like some monsters specifically like don't comprehend common. Right. So like you could just like limit it to monsters that like do not have like the ability to like speak common or any spoken language. I think that's like in all the stats.

So you could like base it on that. Yeah. So you could get like almost like an uncommon common. You like know a language that those who don't speak common will understand. Yeah. The primal language of beasts. Yeah. Could we call it Dr.

Goolittle? Yeah. Oh, that's actually. Oh, that's actually awesome. Maybe like a doctor, do a little. Do not fucking shake his hand. You already shook mine. You promised you would not share anyone else's.

I vigorously shake shake his hand and root, much like Paul Hollywood, over-delivered on handshakes. The No Turtle's Torto has instantly started shaking everyone's hand. It's becoming his thing. It's becoming too much of attention. You won't let go. Yeah.

That's really interesting. I'm like looking up monsters and being like how many of them can speak common and a weirdly large amount of them can. Really? I'm looking at just this giant fucking like frog snake and it's just like, yep, speak common.

Speaks it or because some can comprehend it. No, fucking speaks it. speaks it brother so then you wouldn't even need a spell to be able to talk to it correct okay but there are other i'm looking at whoa this looks cool as hell there's a monster called the deep crow and the language it speaks is deep crow oh yeah okay let's just make a deep crow bell it's like a super goth spiked bell and you can speak deep crow oh this thing is so sick looking god can we play a deep crow campaign yeah since since murph has gone soft boiled on us yeah i feel like i'm gonna have to put on my no-chortling shell right now.

Wow. And say that I think that this might undermine some of the more martial classes desires in battle. Because I feel like unless you are overwhelmed and you need like an alternative solution, I think a lot of people like slicing up a jelly. I think the intention wouldn't be to stop battle because a lot of times if you try to make like persuasion or charisma on monsters that you're actively fighting, usually the rules kind of give you disadvantage and try to discourage that. I'm guessing that this is out of battle for out of battle moments.

Interesting. Yeah, you're just like encounter one in a dungeon. Yeah, I am wondering how much it helps to like talk to a gelatinous cube, right? Well, like, do you say like get out of the way and the gelatinous cube just degrees? That's true. I guess so. You could like before initiative be like, sir. Sir, please don't. I guess it'd be the equivalent of like with a guard or something.

It's just like you can try to trick it or you can try to, yeah, appeal to its senses. Because there are monsters that it feels like the reason you fight them is that there is a language barrier, right? Sure. Like sometimes it's kind of like this animal is just scared and it's freaking out and is going to attack us because we can't explain we're not here to hurt. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess like the only issue of this is that the DM will need to come up with motivations for every monster in their dungeon now. They'll need to figure out like what?

Well, they'll let it once a day. Once a day. Once a day. It's not too bad. Would the DMs think that this would be annoying? I think you could really easily Especially as like a jelly I would just be like

Consume And they'd be like Can we go get you like an animal Hoose's horse's hoof That will be fine You wouldn't make him like a nice fancy jelly Good day sir

Oh my God Oh I'm a jam Why I had plants to squeeze into Oos you call me ooze Why I'm a fine jam I'm a compote really berries give me berries just sweet in my palate yeah okay there's a lot you can do with this

there's so much you can do with this uh yeah no I think it's uh I think it's interesting I would say this yeah this could work I feel like it's pretty harmless yeah I like it I do think that it does kind of like I'm suddenly like I gotta put monstrosities in their way I got to put oozes in their way I got to justify this because otherwise the player might feel a little disappointed if it's like, hey, when are we going to fight the next ooze? When are we going to meet another ooze? All these monsters are too smart. I'm wondering, yeah, does this make the campaign too ooze focus? Because then you're just kind of trying to make persuasion checks on oozes all the time. Again, not a bug of feature. Yeah. Also, if your character is Dr. Goolittle, then yes,

it's already pretty ooze focus. I thought the belt was Dr. Goolittle's belt. I didn't realize that you had to be Dr. Goolittle. Well, you have to imagine that Dr. Goolittle did all of this research. and lived in like an age of history and stories. And like this belt is the last relic of his time on earth. Yeah, but then we're going to find out that actually he's still alive. He's encapsulated in a life-preserving goo. Wow. Sort of cryogenic goo.

And so... Guarded by deep crows. Yeah, it writes itself. Right. I'm in. This campaign sounds awesome. I'm in, but the eggs do need to be poached. Wow.

I'm just remembering that I think Dr. Doolittle, too, is the first time I ever walked out of a movie. That was when I think I was like 14 years old and realizing movies could be bad sometimes. Oh, wow. Yeah, that is kind of hard when you have like the first time that like the movie, the thrill of seeing a movie in theaters doesn't work on you.

This just isn't for me. This is just not for me. The sassy parrots is not doing it. Yeah. It's just not as fucking funny as the first one. Dr. Doolittle One. Okay, is anyone in on this? I think I'm in on it.

I like the Dr. I think it's additive. I for sure like it. It definitely, you got to be, you got to be careful as the DM with this one, though, because players are going to be, like, searching for oozes all the time. They're going to be busted open beehives and, like, getting the sap out of trees. And, like, get comfortable cutting away from romantic scenes so that you don't have to get into, if the rest of your table doesn't want to listen to it.

You don't have to get into the biology. Like the goo, crawling into all your crevices and reconstituting. Exactly. Yeah. Which sounds really. Sploge. Okay, you guys want to do one last submission? Let's do one more.

All right, this one is from Trouble at the Tavern, and they write, SUP Torti McGordy's. Wow. It's a little informal, honestly, this time around. Really? It's too much. Treat us with respect. May I introduce morale cards, a mechanic that improves the odds of success on future tasks

with the success of past ones. Upon rolling a Nat 20 on an ability check, the player receives a card from a stand. deck of playing cards. Jacks through Kings excluded. Sure. Huh. The card is placed face down in front of them, and they can use it on a future ability check.

Players do not know the card number until they choose to use it. Using a morale card is simple. After you make an ability check that you are dissatisfied with, you flip your morale card and add its number to the total of the role. Revealing a Joker is an automatic success. Only one morale card can be held at a time. If a player rolls a not one on an ability check, they lose their morale card. Moral cards cannot be used on attack rolls, saving throws, or damage.

In exchange for this super rad awesome idea, all I ask for is one egg, deviled, a mediocre thumbs up. Oh, I love a devil big. And a piece of moist bread. Thank you. The introduction of the playing cards feels DVD-focused. Well, so I had to say. Gildwell, the dread so carefully, sir.

I feel Caldwell buzzing at it. I had the same reaction initially, but the idea that. that it could be a one through a tent and it's sitting there and you don't know what it is, I did find it very fun. However, I would want it to be limited to one location. Like when we went to hell in campaign one, and we're in like the casino gambling thing, like it could maybe work in that. So it wouldn't be a morale check then, but I like the idea of people getting a playing card that they don't know what it adds. Yeah, it's a wide range. But isn't that what, that's what dice are?

right yeah and this is just like a different way to roll the dice is it only it's supposed to be skill I would probably take away those limitations just because it feels like it does get a little sweaty well I think the idea is is that you're getting better at a skill like if you succeed at something I get better at it doesn't really equate like being awesome doing something awesome the one time isn't necessarily going to like you know make you four or five times as good the second time I I like this because I love the card. I love not knowing. I actually think it should be allowed to be used in on attack rolls or say, yeah, damage

because that would make it more fun. But I agree with Murf that like the narrative justification for it being there needs to be a little bit better. Can I give like a different perspective though, which is that I do feel in my personal life that a morale boost is a general stat boost. Like sometimes when everyone's flying high, it feels like everything's a little sort. smoother, everything's a little easier. Like, enthusiasm, I think, is kind of a general stat boost, except for maybe wisdom. But I don't know. I think that there is just like a buzz that you can get into.

I feel that. I will say that the one tweak I would suggest on this is when you're using cards, I think that cards need to be a little more cutthroat. Like the dice, it is this beautiful, even shape. It is symmetrical. But cards, they are items of chance. they are gambling. So I think that the ace

or dice Yes. Yeah, but it's really eloquent but it actually makes no sense. They're waited for once. It actually makes no sense. Yes. None of this makes any sense.

There's no reason it needs to be cards. There's no reason to get it really well, but it makes no sense. It's beautiful. It's geometric. Uh-huh. But I do think, I don't know, for me, I guess it's true.

If you go to a casino, there are dice games, there are card games. But to me, for whatever reason, cards represent chance a little more. Yeah. Maybe it's just the fact that you're flipping it over. You don't know it's under it.

But you can see all the numbers on the dice. So there's at least this like false equivalence about like how honest and truthful the result will be. But so you've got the ace in there and you've got the Joker in there. I think that the Joker should be an automatic fail. I think that there should be a risk that you can still fail on this because you can ride too high. You can lose your confidence because you were gambling and feeling the rush and you got careless. So I think that like having the Joker in there allows for the ability to fail. And, like, you know, adds, it's a little bit of that risk.

The themeing is so strange, though. Imagine just being like, I'm a blacksmith and I'm forging weapons and I did an awesome job. I got a Nat 20. Uh-oh, my next time, I got the Joker. Like, what does that have to do with anything? That's why I think it should be kind of isolated to a specific location that you're only at for a couple sessions. That's fine. And maybe tied to a deity that you're reaching out to.

You could do it that way. Much like the potion thing. If there is just a card dealer that's like, I am going to give you these. magic cards. Yeah, you have like a deity called the dealer or something like that. Some sort of ephemeral trickster god called the Joker or something like that. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Like walking Phoenix to us bride.

You've lost me, but I theoretically like this. Yeah. Okay, yeah, I like the idea. If it's tied to an NPC and done like one time, otherwise I'd say you can achieve this with like some kind of advantage or something. Like if you get in that 20 next time you do the exact same thing, you get advantage.

That's fine. You get some momentum. here in this town we worship the Phoenix Joaquin Phoenix that is the Joker with every role reborn yeah okay so I think this is interesting for like an MPC

specific I think it's fun I think it's fun but I would limit it to a location and I would not I am going to say that I think morale boost is going to give a blanket thing I wouldn't limit it to skill checks yeah I agree with that so I'm going to go ahead in

And I do love deviled eggs, so let's do it, dude. Yeah. Rather than taking like the whole idea across the whole of game, we're kind of making it just an item or like. We're taking our original idea of the Joker and putting him into the game. So really we don't owe this actually anything because we came up with the Joker. We had the novel idea to have Walking Phoenix be a deity and our world. I'm rereading your pitch.

It doesn't mention Joaquin. It doesn't mention Joaquin Phoenix. What if the entire pantheon is different Walking Phoenix? Nick's characters. Oh, I mean, we're different jokers. Different jokers, you're right. And now we're getting so far from it

then any judge will throw this out in court. Dude, because it's always like, I don't know who else. Oh, Jack Nicholson, was he? Sure. Absolutely, yeah. Mark Hamill is the animated Joker. Yeah, okay.

Here's the fucking thing. Pantheons are always like, you know, this noble god and this god of the trees and the hunt. No, make them all tricksters. Yeah, there's usually like one tricksters. Yeah. This one's going to have like five or six.

Oops all tricksters. Take him to Goofy World. Okay, I was on board until you said take him to Goofy World. It doesn't have to be called Goofy World. That's in the notes. That's the rough draft. We'll come up some cool name. Well, Goofy is, of course, in it dressed as the Joker.

Or as goo. It's Goofy. Oh, and then you get Dr. Goo Littles' belt so that you can romance Goofy. Gelatin is goof. Okay, well, you don't own any of this because we do. Yeah. You can have one of my eggs and devil it yourself. I have a deviled egg flight prepared for this player.

All right. We just happen to have some parallel thinking there. We have this character called The Joker that gives out cards. Oh, you know what? Since it's turtle theme, we can call it the Yolker because of the Yolks and eggs. Oh, that's really good. I mean, is it parallel thinking if our fucking thinking is so hot. Yeah, yeah.

Right. It's not a good parallel. We're in a different stratosphere. When lines of parallel, one has to be above the other. And this, this Joker, the shell is painted instead of its, instead of its face. Oh, he's got a big smile. He's got a big smile on the shell. But then also on his face.

The turtle who laughs. But then also on his face. Yeah. Certainly. And Batman doesn't know which way is. And it says, why so serious? And it's S-E-A. Oh, there what it is.

Yeah. So this at art, please, everyone, you know, on Tumblr, deviant art, wherever you make art. Why so serious? Why so serious? Yeah. Oh, that's fun. Aquaman and Batman can team up to take this guy down. Beautiful. Yeah, well, we'll be selling that merch. That's kind of where this idea has landed. It's incredible that we've, yeah. It's really incredible. I'm going to, James Gunn is actually texting us right now. Yeah. So we got to get on the horn with him. We got to get on the horn. All right. Thank you all so much for listening. Over on our Patreon, we're actually going to do some D&D courts. So we're going to mixing it up a little bit. So head on over there to page. Netron.com slash NADPOD. That's any D-D-P-O-D-D-O-D don't sing yet. Will you text James Gunnback, Super Manatee? Yeah.

Just say that. No other details. Yeah, he texts me back just a picture of his face, and it looks like he's coming. Wow. Whoa. That's awesome. And with that, does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? He's slouching.

We've got a Dimension 20 Live show in Vegas in November. Search Dimension 20 Live. We're going to be doing Star. Strasdra. Ooh. Check out my substack. Substack.com slash at J. Kerwitz. I just published something this week, actually.

Sweet. If it's okay with everyone, if it's all right, if I could be so bold, I would love to plug our shop where we sell items that we made. Yeah. We've got some new stuff in there. We have a Spudfuckers mug. It's really good. It's a diner mug. It's really cute.

Please, buy this mug. It would be so funny if we had to order more. That's my goal. yes this is a second run you know we talked about uh gambling and playing with cards this is our gamble is that not everyone will buy the smoke i know it's early but i'm thinking one for every single member of my family for christmas yeah you got it's going to be a great stocking stuffer uh and with that we're going to wrap this one up uh you can follow us on social media they're remit at use at c hmerst me i call these called wall at a extrad emily and at jacker versus jake and you can talk about

the show online using hashtag nadpod that's n-dddd splish splash splash Splish spash, spish, And we are We are the use. It's the end of the news. It's the end of our show, folks, and you know what that means? It's shout out time. Let's get right to it.

Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later, Mick's Skate. Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Daniel the dasterly dame. Carpeleum. Victor T. A.k.a. Balnor's Boy. Hoyd's friend. Oh, a stormlight reference. I finally get that one. That's fun.

Just an I. Danny Danster. T.J. M. Trele, the Kray. Christopher B. Damiel. Say my whole name. Rohee. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Targot. Stevie Wags Helish Rbuquer, the N-B-D-M-P-H-D, Princess Yarr, Jory S, Jack L, Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohumia, Mike H, Alka Smilzer Plus, Great Value, Jimma, Tyler F, Carborough Chapel Hill, FPV, C-C-Lulu, Bald Byrne, Hercule Poirot, the Rabbitfolk Detective, Timmy R,

Jake's jerk jelly Hashtag CCC CASS, skateboard, Cass Stephen Boy is Seattle's hockey mascot, you see Nick W William W Big Bad Beardow the Mad

Eric McDee Onanarama Percival Frederick Stein von Mussel Klausowski de Rolo the 3rd Jay Dragonborn Guardian of the vibe honoring the cock

Impressive Dongle Ben A. Dave H. Dustin S. Not that Nick. Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce. Bookfar's assistant, Izzy F. Big Bad John. D.P.C. is awesome. Shone, the shade tree mechanic of Zabel Dar. Summer Rose, aka Grand Terre. Mark, the Dark Lord's Taint. Cat C. Misa of House in Zunza. Ariel, the occasional mermaid. Selina N. A.k.a. Valaci Raptor. B. Perky Always. Pat L. Warren H. Serve 16. Annie, the Faywild therapist. Perogi, frenzy. Salil. Bioquart 7. Beanrat was innocent. Trub. Hop dropper. Jack Hubert, king of the mole people under Iron Deep, dressed in blue, unfighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Valen. Paj, the bitch and bunny bard. Druidic Payton. Carlin C. Now are the

bully wag boy hashtag honor the cock james g everything bago the eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripy reverend chattabones han eric b marcos phdd eventually learns the balance druid frida m maggie holly the green ha ha ha ha laughing hyena cow and her cats portland star and berlin Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, every time. Cody C. Lorelei, the succubi, and Kira the succulent snack. McKenna S. Your friendly neighborhood, Yant and Uncle, Andrew, and Sid. Soon to be education specialist, John Adams. James F. Wayfarer, now has to do something with the trolls. To get rid of them, turn to page 42. To keep them, turn to page Oh, oh, 69.

Oreo, Barpo Goodbarrel, Barbarian. Garrett G. A.k.a. one big curd. Charlie Brown's best friend, Renee, the monster captain. Olivia, the enchanting bard, and Jared the soap opera cleric are now performing ballads from the age of stories. Blue Ash. Fico. Garrett, the Art of Hissa.

Anthony, the raddest of dudes. J The fairies have returned to debauchery and must now go to the carnal corner It comes for us all, friends Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie-wearing Barbarian Lexi H, MJ the BFG

Roger L, Nodrog The Pass A Fist Barbarian John Luca Leon Kumori Legendary Hero of Bohumia From a future campaign Chinanigans O'Connor Mios the Great

Joshua S. Alexander Lynn's W. Sky the Wise, aka the lone dungeon master. The spudfucker himself, Johnny Dutke. The mischief of not parts familiar's. Pavu Escanor,

the Goliath paladin providing service with a smile. Kit and their cat. Jake Will Murphilly. Tim M. Dragon Knight 86. Tiles. Lamar. D.R. M.L. G. Cheeto. Schell B. Kenna's first favorite sprite girl. Wishing a

merry mariachi to Emily. Happy fucking birthday to Jork. Hope you both had perfect days. Jet S. Death to tyrants. Jared the soap opera cleric and Olivia, the enchanting bard, who are pro. Crap Rangoon. Thank you so much. Let's go out and get a big plate together, friends. Poposkades. Mim-A-Skad-A-S-A-D-E. Megan. in anthony b balnor's best friend steve stephanie of house in zunza benjamin a gimley the corgi pop-pon foster's canine friend mckell a triple s tier crickwater enjoyer josh hole pilot of the nightmare verse flight the two crew blew through kelsey a ethan the mailman maple the shy bookworm nick a j the stroker, bearer of all hog-related burdens.

Thank you for your service. Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes. Michael L.S. the second. Carl B., plumber of the realm, sploosh. Dex Riddlewell, Ace dregs, High Lord of Critsburg, VIN, Diagram, Cadmilius, The Consumed, Clinton, P, Cam, the vampire frogman, blah. Dean, Jake W., hi, Mom.

Tuesday Cross, only here for the surf and mirf, aren't we all? Dave, don't be a chump, Tom Cruise can clump O. Steve L. Tyler M., Alex G., Zibba-e-Bakery, Kaylee, Katarina C. Misty, the Krispy Kitty, really hates flame skulls. Greg W., there's so many of us now. But hey, you're doing great, and we love you. Baruch Thunder Helm,

Fifth Generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Chupacabri. Boney is dead. The Waterworth, Nick, Amy, Aegis Kunari, Ignition Class Petal Storm. Not a DJ, but we'll still take the gig, DJ Dramamine, Ulrich von Zorović. My favorite patron makes me say,

Pah, P penis! on my show, and I enjoy it every time. Chef Julie B, Jen the Rowdy, Caitlin Hook, and buttwax. Ha ha. What a strong list. What an amazing crew. Thank you all so, so much for your support.

If you would like to join this illustrious council, you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nadpod. That's going to do it for us this time. We will see you here again next week. Thanks so much. Be well. And have a great life. That was a hate gum podcast.