Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 13: Jungle Judgement

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Led by the Silverback of Rana'For, Retrieval Team 22 makes their way to the entrance of the Periphera. However, before they can delve into its chaotic depths, our heroes must first prove their worth to the cavern's hypercritical caretaker. Nyack does some father-son bonding, Onyx picks up a side-gig, and Jens goes all in on drama as all three prepare for a perilous plunge into the Periphera!Music Credits:Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily Axford"Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" by Jens Christian Tvilum“Moonsick“ by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Wisdom of Neddas" by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority.

Plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineave.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire.

Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamineve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, sweeties. This is a Headgun Podcast. Welcome to Trinnovil. Like rain wrapping at the windows.

I let in the rain and I get soaked with adventure. A world where hidden cities lurk in magic jungles. Gorillas talk more eloquently than humans, and everyone gets along super well with their stepdad. No. It is a true adventurer's paradise. Today's story begins in the Gorilla City of Nuckleton. Guided by the village Silverback, the Trinneville Trio, aka the Cruel Thrule, makes their way to

another stone toll booth at the edge of town. Carved on this stone is a gorilla with its arms raised in a stop gesture. The Silverback breathes deeply, then places his palms on the statue. His eyes and back glow Silver, and then the stone descends into the earth, revealing an overgrown trail winding deep into the wilderness beyond. Can our heroes become jungle masters? Or will they remain, bungled disasters?

Only time will tell. And so without further ado, let's rejoin Retrieval Team 22 and begin chapter 13 of the Trinaville Adventure. Trinaville. Trinaville. More rain, storms are coming. Dang Coyote moons out once more. Hello friends and welcome back to the table. I am of course your dungeon master,

AKA Dunkel, called Wil Tanner, and I am joined by... Jen Zlindell, star of Trinsta Grom, not a fan of my stepdad Ron. Oh my god, beautiful. Right, see why you go viral brother. Beetle boys got it where it counts. Onyx Lumiere, master of disguise with a red gorilla butt and a beautiful smile. Did you keep the red butt?

Yeah. Wonderful, wonderful. You cut holes in your pants. Yeah. And of course, I'm bringing silver back. Nayaq with a ran of fire. And that is the end of Trinny Valley. Good run. Good run. 13 apps. What are you the end of Trinivale. It's a good run.

Good run. 13 apps. What are you doing? Total party kill. Go ahead and go with it. Niaq is dead. Niaq is dead. OK, I know you're already 2, 4, 20 trail blaze it.

But first, how about a quick recap? Let's do it. Fantastic. When last we met, you three had just finished your attunement ritual deep within the Golden Iar Society's secret headquarters. Afterwards you were informed by Onyx's Revenant mother that she had discovered the location of the Perifera, a subterranean realm where the Gennaract crystals were first forged.

It's also the place where Verlis, Onyx's former demonic patron, is currently imprisoned. Grafite revealed that the location of the Per the peripheral was deep within a cave at the heart of the Rana 4 Valley, and so she loaded you three up with AC boosting gifts and tearfully sent you on your way. However, as you made your way towards the jungle in your airship, you noticed a suspicious site in the floating city of Vena Das. Massive billboards bearing your faces, claiming that you, as well as Z and Blavin, were wanted for kidnapping the vending machine Tycoon Mercurio Delurio. To throw the city off your

scent, Onex attempted to obscure your faces with a massive sharpie, but unfortunately you attracted the attention of a group of silver-wing guards. What? You didn't work? I remember working. I specifically remember working. I remember working. I specifically remember working now. Time has a funny way of changing your memory of events. But, thinking fast, Onyx, you were able to use your mantle of the moth to instill fear in one of the guards, while Jens used Polymorph to transform another into a fearsome, shark landlord.

You then outran the remaining guard, and at long last made it to the Rana 4 Valley. Once on the jungle floor, Niaq led you three deep into the forest and threw a magical toll booth to the Gorilla City of Nuckelton. Inside the city, Niaq and Jens got into a bit of a brotherly squabble, which was quickly interrupted by their parents, Ron and Laxana. Who were hard at work in their nearby barbershop? After a quick family reunion and an even quicker trip to Dr. Danberry's office to get Nyax's stomach parasite checked on, you three then headed off towards the large, silver tree and the center of town to speak with the silverback, who had mysteriously shut himself inside his personal quarters.

Using some impressive magical fuckery, you three all turned invisible and flew to the top. Once there, Onyx transformed into a stunning medical monkey assistant, which allowed you all to pass unnoticed into the Silverback's study. Upon seeing you, the Silverback revealed that he had recently been contacted by Nados, the god of sages and starlight, and was told that, twice of two in parts of three, shall come my sign, atop your tree. You then showed him your team 22 calling coin, which convinced him to help you with your quest.

And so you all descended to the base of the tree and began making your way towards the forbidden cavern, known as Mama's Ma. And that is where we are now. A humid air wraps all around you like a blanket as you walk along this jungle trail. I guess before we get any further, was there anything else you wanted to do in the town

or are you ready to embark on your quest towards Mama's Mall? I wouldn't mind some kind of short rest, but I don't need to do that. Yeah, I guess we'll take a little short rest. I guess, you know what, should we pop into the store just to see if there's anything we wanna buy if there's like potions or something?

Maybe I think I'd like to journal at Brewsters' pub. Okay. I'm going to journal at Brewsters' pub for my short rest. You get like two steps into the trail and Haven kind of turns back, says, that was very presumptuous. Was there anything you wanted to do in town that we're going to do? I need to journal. Oh, you got, of course. Yeah,, that was very presumptuous. Was there anything you wanted to do in town? And we're going to the journal.

Oh, you got, of course. Yeah, you got to take time for yourself. I would mind freshening my mullet at my pop shop. And absolutely, it's looking a little rough. I'm gonna go to the store, but I'm gonna walk around really casual like so I can get a short rest in. Okay.

You got to do a slow walk. I do a long stretch. You stretch it out. Yeah, I really stretch it out. All right, so you're journaling at Brewsters. You're going to your dad's shop. I may also have to stop by Dr. Dan Berry's. My nipple has swollen around my ring.

Go ahead and roll a constitution check on your nipple. It is a 12. 12, yep, it's got a little bit of gangrene on it. Oh, she's green it She's so serious You head to Dr. Danbury. I gives you an antibiotic. You're really racking up a Big medical bill, but your parents have good insurance. Don't take the wings doctor. I wouldn't dream of it They're beautiful now off to get my haircut Tell Ron and likexana I said hi. I

shall. I think I'm sitting at the bar and trying to make like a big scene about journaling, but not actually writing. Just like really like sighing, like chewing on my pen, looking around to see if anyone looks at me. You see the bartender Brewster is like, oh, Journaline, yeah? Ah, yes, it's really, it's so important. That's great. You're a beautiful pinmanship. I'm looking for someone to do wedding invitations. My son, Norwalk, is getting married.

I'm just trying to find someone you look like you might be good at. I know Norwalk. Yeah? Yes, I would be honored to do his wedding invitations. Oh my, that would be lovely. Yes, of course. Let me draft something up right now.

Okay, yeah, you get to work on that. I would love to see. It's a Norwalk and a Zogaff, others the happy couple. I am friends with both of them. What? Oh, get out of town. Yes, honestly, I introduce them.

What? It's kind it true. I'm the reason they're getting married. Yeah, you know why? Oh my gosh, drinks on the house. What do you want? Thank you so much. I'll take seven beers.

Come and ride up. That's a good game. No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! It's so good. All seven at once. Yeah, he does ask. So anything you want for free, yes, I'll take seven beers. Do you want some of these to go? Do you just want the keg? Yes, please. Yeah, actually, I'll get you a growler. How's that sound?

Well, thank you. Both you say. Yes. Okay. He brings out three little mini kegs. You know, those ones you can get for like holiday parties. Uh-huh. Just sets them down. Um, and you see the Brewster, he's a bit of a druid. Um, and he's got a little bit of magic on his fingertips. Uh, and he cast a float spell on each of them so that they will be easy to carry. Thank you so much your magic stupifies it leaves me speechless.

Well you know what I'm looking at the cursive script over there and equally stupified so you know what I wrote was F. I don't even know where it's going from there. And fuck me that's a good app. Don't write that. Okay, I stopped writing it. So you continue journaling and preparing some wedding invitations for Norwalk and Z's nup shools upcoming. Get excited about that one shot.

And Jens, you are headed to the general store. You have a good, the Jervis general. Yeah. All right, so you walk in to Jervis general. You see that it is a pretty standard general store. You know, kind of, they've got everything. It's a little dusty. Some areas are up-capped better than other ones.

Like all the drinks and stuff look pretty fresh. The produce is good, but then like, there's just like one bag of chips. Just like out, like a real, some dusty cans. Yeah. There's like the oldest can of cringles you've ever seen. Oh. I didn't realize that they made barbecue and parsnip chips. Oh, they're actually, they're not pringles,

they're made of plantains, so they're plangles. Oh. That's slowly put them back. You know, can I help you? I, yes, do you have anything in a health potion? Oh, oh, let me check. You see that, Jervis runs into the back. Yes, you're in luck, I've got just the thing.

And he pulls out a very old bottle of what looks like a discontinued energy drink. Oh, oh my good, good Jarvis. Will this do the trick? Can I inspect it and see if that would kill me if I drank it? Yes, please. Okay. Oh boy.

That's a big eight for me. Eight. It looks sealed, so you think it would be okay to drink, but it is pretty old and it was discontinued for a reason. So you don't know. Okay. Well, perhaps Nia could try it for me. What is your, I'm so sorry, usually I shop at higher end places.

What is your finest wear? I don't know, what do you sell here? Well, we've got bananas, okay, plangles. All right, you know wines and spirits. Oh, and of course, you know, feminine products. I take out one of my burner phones and I text Jen and say, pick me up some feminine products. I just show the text. I just got just general feminine products. I don't know what she prefers. I guess I'll just get a smattering of a feminine pattern. I don't know if she uses tampons or pads. Just one of each I guess. You see that Jarvis has like a pre-prepared box called

Jarvis' jumble. Oh okay, yeah. He just got it all in there. The jumble would do well. Or anything else for you? It's just like a deli wine situation where the wine looks really bad. Oh, the wine is pretty bad, and then there's one bottle that's like $40 for some reason. Oh, yes, well, we're not going to buy that. Yeah, you know what, I'll buy the weird energy drink in these five bites. Good, sir. Oh, there you go, bring your right up. All right.

You all have money from your work for the benefactor, so that was like a couple of gold, you're fine. You don't need to worry too much about that. Cool, so you've got this energy drink. I'm going to say for this energy drink, I'll be fully honest with you, I did not have anything prepared for it, so maybe I'll just do a roll, and if you get above 10, it'll heal you. And if you get below 10,

something fun will happen. All right, great, great. All right. Let's cut back to Niaq. You are at the barber shop now. Yes. All right. So Ron is giving you a trim. Just a little off the top and none off the back. Next pop. A boy after me own heart. You see that he just bends over and starts like pulling out your hair with his teeth. Brilliant. Cuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuckuck Knowing all right then, I hope I didn't disappoint you by coming back before I was ready to be a leader. Maybe I was born to be a follower. Niaq.

Whatever you want to be, may be happy with what you is. Me only want you be happy. That easy. Me very simple man. Me be happy no matter what you do. But also, you good boy, Niaq. You see best in people. Even when they being real shit head to their mom,

you see best in people. Are you talking about Onyx? I thought she behaves. Admirably. Did Lexana have another kid that he not know about? I think we have triplets in the family, dad. Me so happy. Me happy too. Please talk to Jens for me. We feel bad that he not happy here. I think it's the cigarettes they give people an attitude.

It's true, he got real bad boy vibes. His dad was decapitated. Also, me know, me know. I understand that he's, it's gonna take some time, but he's a cool dude. There are more than one way to lead, Niaq. You need not be at front of troop. You can lead by lifting others. You can lead by simply being there. You find your own way, Niaq. I also really wanted to cut the ribbons around town, Dad. Okay, you need to be a very specific leader to do that. It's like telling your dad, you want to be a race car driver?

It's like, you can be whatever you want son. No, I want to drive this race car. I want to drive Jeff Gordon's race car. I really want the giant scissors, Bob. Okay, me talk to Silverback, me see if you can get internship. Thanks, Dad. Of course, we love you. We love you, Dad.

We hugs you and gets snippings of your hair all over his face. You want Lollipop? I couldn't possibly. Have you eaten the salad that Dr. Danbury gave you? Oh no I haven't, I'll take Ali the leaf. Okay, I think I'm also, while I'm at the general store, can we say that I bought some hungry man dinners for Naya? That was going to be so bad for his stomach. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up.

He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up.

He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs to fill up. He needs doctor's office. Give me a constitution roll.

Constitution saving roll. 17. 17. I'm gonna treat this like a death save. If you get three successes, I'll let you raise your constitution by one. What if he gets three failures? It goes down by one.

He dies. You're really treating it like a death save. Yeah, you fucking die. You get internal bleeding. My parasite wins. I have to play the rest of the campaign as my parasite. I will banish that parasite. Well, where will I go?

That's my voice. Come on. What if I went home, listen. So you choked down this salad and you see, Lexana comes out, slaps Ron really hard on the ass and says, oh, my baby boy, my monkey man eating your greens, Ray. Hey, hey, they're monkey mama. She gives you tender little kisses. Is there anything else you want to do, or are you already ready to, yeah?

Have I finished my wedding invitation? Go and give me a performance check, or what would that be? Oh, slight of hand. Are you sure your performance is a lot better? I think it's got to be slight of hand, unless you're minor illusioning it. I will minor illusion on top of it.

Actually, no, I want them, I wanna have a good invitation for them. So no decision here. Okay. 14. 14. Brewster looks at them and sees that they're not like Pinterest quality,

but he also runs a small bar and a very small town. And probably doesn't have a ton of extra money to spend on it. So I think he's very satisfied for what he's paying for. He's a great. Oh my goodness. Actually, it's a first draft. So, you know, you'll be getting a second draft. Oh, sure. Absolutely. This is just like, this is just like for you to approve.

Yeah, proof of concept. This is fantastic. Okay, great. Okay, great. Yeah, another one's coming. My boy's going to be so happy. Ony fantastic. Okay, great. Okay. Great. Yeah. Another one's coming. My boy's gonna be so happy. Onyx, I got your feminine products. I got you a floating cake of beer. Oh, okay. Did you get the jumble? Yeah, I just got all of them. You were very vague

Guys, I tried to sell it. I ate almost the whole thing. How do you feel weird? I got you a cake of milk. I feel kind of full Yeah. I got you a kick. I feel kind of full. I got you a floating kick of beer. I couldn't possibly. I've got you a lot of frozen dinners. By the end of knowing me, you're going to say I could possibly. Yeah. You're going to eat. I look forward to that day. I act you're going to eat dinner every night. And also you're going to carry my bags. I just I bought a bunch of things. I hand them the bag of all the frozen dinners. Okay, I put them, I make space for it in the glove satchel. What's in there? Is that corn?

I'm not eating corn. Why it us? You see that Haven walks up to you three and is like, okay, are you ready to go? I really wanna get to the bottom of what Nadas has in mind for you. So whatever I can do to help, sorry about that. That was weird of us.

Yeah, that's weird, but honestly, it's gonna pay off. Okay, I'm just gonna be a little bit more, I only have to spell slots every short rest. Understandable, yeah. Nadas moves in mysterious ways and you've gotta just follow their whims and their wills. Jens takes off running. Hey, hi, Jason. ways and you've got to just follow their whims and their wills. Jens takes off running.

Hi Jason. Wrong direction. You're headed straight towards the edge. I'm here as a bug. Okay, so are you ready to head deeper into the forest? I'm ready. All right. Cool.

Actually, we go. Well, you tell us about Mama's Ma. Oh, yes, of course. What makes it so dangerous? What sort of danger shall we you see that uh... haven is so thrilled to talk to you about like the history of

eranifer and of the guerrillas um... it seems clear uh... nike you notice that haven uh... before they were the silverback was a schoolteacher uh... you know of course they worked with Mr. DuPlaus Bronstine and Mrs. Hamden, and they were elected to this position to serve and lead and teach the whole troop. So like any chance they get to kind of go back to the roots and just talk with people about history and the world, they really relish it.

So they say, oh, you wanna know about Mama's Mall? Yeah, I want to hear about the danger and the history of it. Well, it's a incredibly dangerous cavern. It's actually a living cavern. It's been sealed up because anyone that stumbled upon it might just get swallowed up whole or tricked into performing some sort of task for this cavern. So we had to seal it off and make sure that nobody

was able to get to it because it's also, in addition to being this duplicitous maw, it's also the entrance to the parithura, which, as I'm sure you know, it's the gray chaos, the world within the world. Ah, and then you. Yes, I have heard. Apparently, Nadas themselves imprisoned

the Lord of chaos, Verlis in there, years and years ago. Yes, I have heard their rumor. Yes, it's, you know, well, it's a fact, it's not a rumor, it's a history, that's what happened. Right, yes, it's just so vague to me, I'm not that familiar with it. Yeah, it's again from rumor. Would you like to hear a little more about Nadas and like the history of the Rana 4 while we walk? Absolutely. Wonderful. So yeah, as you venture into the wild, the silverback explains a little more

about the origins of his power. It's clear that he gets a real kick out of this. So he kind of It's clear that he gets a real kick out of this. So he kind of clears his throat, lights a little bamboo joints. Jen's was disinterestedly reading an okay magazine while I was talking, but then see some start smoking. Oh, okay. We should probably stay sharp. You know, you don't know what's going to be waiting for you in the moment. Oh, cigarettes are good for you.

We're picking up nasty habits. My friends. Okay. I smoke. Oh, this just, you know, I, this com's my glaucoma. Oh, okay. Oh, I see, I see. Okay. That's medical for me too. I got to deal with a little disease called Ron. You're smoking menthol's present. You are smoking two different, it's herb versus mostly poison. You know, I'm fine. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, you know, that's the beauty of

a democracy. So let me tell you a little bit about Nadas and how the silverback came to possess their power. Legend says that long ago before the godless era known as the Violet Sorrow. Nidhas gifted a sliver of their essence to five people they thought exemplified the necessary aspects of rule. For a time, these aspects ruled Gennarak during the gods absence. But eventually the seeds of Nidhas began to flourish within their host, instilling them with unforeseen power. Some used this power to rule with benevolence, while others were corrupted by its influence. Eventually the aspects began warring over control of Gennarak. It was during this period that, in my aspect, the aspect of lore

fled to Ranafore. The silver back there granted her sanctuary, and when she reached the end of her life, she passed Nadas' power onto the silverback, and it is dwelt there ever since. Any questions? No, I am just wrapped. Oh, thank you. Yes, it's been so long since I've got to... I mean, I think it is a testament to the fact that you are the megaphone of lore Absolutely, yes, what were the other aspects? Well, the ones that are known to history are

lore Murth Craft and tact. There's one more but its name has been strangely erased from history I could really use craft right now. I show them the first draft of my wedding invitation. Oh, it's a little rough. It's a first draft, Jen. Yeah, the take a walk, Jen.

It's sunny. It's cursive Z. It's beautiful. Thank you, and that's my weeps. Thank you. Oh, this is such a positive reinforcement. Mayor Silverback. Hello.

Hi. Hi. Oh, wow, you're right here. I'm Nadas was talking to you. And there was a riddle with a two and a three. Yes, does that have anything to do with the five of which you speak? The Das was always the most curious and

tricky of the gods, you know, they they often spoke in a language all their own while the other gods were interested in more earthly pursuits, they were the god of sages and starlight and the skies. They always, their thoughts were always in the clouds, so it was always a bit hard to decipher Nadas' whims and desires, and that is one of the roles of the Silverbackers to kind of interpret what it is Nadas' wishes for the people of Ranafore. what it is, Nadas wishes for the people of Ranaform. Do you think Nadas would ever wish for when you close a store

that you would tie the ribbon then? So that is said of a ribbon cutting. It would be a ribbon closing. It doubles the ribbon ceremonies in our town. And of course, that would attract new business, because people would see that there's a ribbon outside and they would know that they could move in and start a new business.

Oh yeah. I'm very excited that you are all getting very excited. But don't you think that it might be really offensive and hurtful to the person who's business just failed and they had to make the difficult decision to shut her their doors? I love that we are opening the discussion. I have many ribbing days that I do it.

Do you worry that the ribbon cutting ceremony would lose some of its zeal if we were just doing them all the time? It wouldn't be a cutting, it would be a tying. It's true, I think. When the store closes the ribbon ties. Perhaps you will. But you have to tie it before you cut it, regardless. So it's not tying and untying, it's tying and cutting.

It's cutting and tying and cutting. So then are you going to be reading the new ribbons? Okay. Don't quite see what you're having trouble with. You know, you tie it. Mostly the devastation of the shopkeeper who is the life of his livelihoods for their eye. It's a hard time.

Naya, are you quitting adventuring to become a ribbon cutter? Is that what I'm hearing? Did you invest in ribbons? I have a large pair of scissors. What did Ron do to you? A shake him. Did you? I have dreams, brother.

Did you take a pair of scissors from the barbershop? Yes. And you have a bag of ribbons. Jins previously established has a bag of ribbons that he uses for ribbons. Don't you cut those, thyak? I won't do anything. I might tie a few. If you want to tie a ribbon, that's fine.

And then if one needs to do one of one, you would know who to come to. Yes, in the very unlikely event that you need to cut one of my ribbons. I won't do it unless there's a ceremony, brother. I do like what you're saying, though. You know, I don't think it would be perfect for any time a store closed, but say that at business was closing because the couple was retiring. A retirement, you know, they had served the community and they wanted to move on and do something else. That would be a beautiful way.

If they were moving to a bigger store and they needed to close their small store. That's great, I think. If you're going to have more ceremonies, you're going to need more invitations. If you want to open up a stationary store, I would be honored to cut the ribbon. Oh, I just wanted to be sort of your go-to person

for making, you know, stuff for the parties. Parties, that works too. Fine, I'll be your social media manager. Perhaps there's a virtual ribbon we can cut. Perhaps this is why Nadas sent you to bless my town with new business enterprises. I believe so, yes. Maybe one day, though. I think your first task lies in the Mama's Ma.

So let us proceed deeper into the jungle. Do people have theories about what this fifth aspect is? I am sure that scholars have written about it at length. Oh yes, well, you see the five aspects kind of served as a small council for Nadas. I should explain, there was a period in our history, as I'm sure you're all aware, known as the Violet Sorrow,

where the gods grew restless and left this world to explore the universe and the plains beyond, to kind of sew their divine celestial oats, as it were. And in that period, they created the Gennarate crystals to serve as kind of a permanent well for power because without the presence of the tri and there can be no magic in this world, it flows from them kind of like a three-pronged modem router. So they created the Gennarate crystals to kind of preserve this power in their absence,

and Nadas themselves deputized these five aspects to serve and guard the crystals in their absence. So people have speculated that it could have been someone whose position was more of an authoritarial position or a terriol position designed to preserve peace, someone in a justice position, perhaps even someone who was there to oversee other aspects of society. People say perhaps dance. Dance, yes. You know, well, we do know for a fact that Murth was there to oversee kind of the cultural aspects

of society, the lighter side of living and life. But we don't quite know what the last of the aspects was. And it's a question that is puzzled scholars for a long time. Do you have any ideas? No, but I will keep my heart open. That's what I like to hear. Three wonderful new citizens of Nuckelton. I can't wait to have you. It's a great place to live. Real estate's cheap, you're gonna love it. We're not moving. Real estate's very cheap where we are as well.

It's actually quite expensive. We live in the city and my roommates don't pay rent. My bank account hasn't really been hurting from it. You two should move here. Haven't you all wanted to live together in a little tree? No, it sounds nice to me. Tee-ee, dad sounds very nice, yes. Think on it.

This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, bird dogs invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs.

To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-up or enter promo code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code pop-up for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, Go team pants and enjoy the show. So the silverback wraps up his lecture and This is story. Yeah, yes, of course a Lecture such a stiff word. It's I know history is a story. It's alive

He starts gesturing like you can just see him wearing a Blazer with elbow patches that's like way too small for him because he's a gorilla. Niaq you never took a class with him He was the silver back by the time I was born. I see. I'm sure he would have been a great pupil, Niaq I'm glad to teach you and all your friends every every day is a teaching moment. I have that written on a pillow somewhere Oh look we're here Um, I was a fascinating tale you wolf. Yes, it did really help the time pass Silverback comes to a halt and points at a large cavern rising out of the earth and points at a large cavern rising out of the earth.

The entrance is blocked by a criss-cross of jagged stalagg-tites and stalagmites clenched in an eternal bite. On the outside of the cave, small clumps of moss furrow like fuzzy judgmental eyebrows. The silverback stands in your path, preventing you from entering. eyebrows. The silverback stands in your path preventing you from entering. Welcome to Mama's Ma. Now, to awaken this cave, I'm going to have to call on all of my power as an aspect of net us. So whatever happens next, I unfortunately won't be of much use, I'm afraid I'll be kind of sacked of my strength. So, however, you should know that to enter the cave you will most likely have to complete a trial of some sort. The trial's very depending on what the mall is into it any given moment. So just be ready for anything. She's ferocious and it's never the same challenge twice. I'm always ready, Pear.

May I ask you, what are you going to be doing because I want to know if you are in danger? Oh no, I'm not in danger. I'm just going to be channeling Nettos via the sliver of their being that resides in me. So I'll be basically just using all of my power and potential in this one moment to awaken this cave that I had previously sealed off. Okay. So, I won't be out of commission fully. I'll just be needing to, you know, take what do you kids call it? A short rest? Something like that over there? I understand. Okay. I drapeper ribbon over the teeth That's very lovely. We can cut that later perhaps once it's open for business open for business

Something tells me those teeth are gonna cut that That's very efficient cut your own ribbon. You know if that's a beautiful sentiment Maybe you could sell that on a book or a bumper stickers once again robs robs of my glory. You'll get there, Niak. You'll get there. So the silverback kind of gets you to stand back a little bit and then he holds up his hands to call on all his strength. His eyes and back glow silver once more. You see fine sheets of mist begin swirling off of his back and out of the sockets of his eyes. Eventually the mist grows so thick that it forms into a swirling liquid cloud. And inside the cloud you see a face appear. Not just any face, but the ethereal soft featured face of Nadas. For a moment,

the face looks expressionless like it's focused on the task, but then it looks over at all three of you, and it smiles this kind smile with just a tinge of sadness to it. And then it's gone. You see all of this mist focus into the silverback's hands. There's this big flash of light and all of a sudden he falls to his knees. And as soon as that happens you hear this loud rumbling. Lyak, is it the salad you ate? I think the lettuce was too wilted.

Oh, I don't like romaine. We don't like romaine. It's so nice to be a wee. You look up and you see the stone teeth of the cavern slowly creaking open. Its mossy eyebrows lift, revealing two glowing purple chunks of amethyst that seem to stare directly into your soul. A gust of hot mist belches out of the cave mouth, and then it begins to speak. I am more, more, more.

Those who wish to gain entry to the periphera must first prove themselves worthy by completing three trials. If you accept my challenge, please step forward. I step forward. I try to pretend like I stepped forward as fast as them. I was first. I think it was a matter. It wasn't big of a step.

Not a competition. Yes. Thank you. To prepare three creative yet delicious dishes that highlight your talents as both warriors and chefs, this is cooking mom-all. Jen's shutters. My God. The cave's big, stalagite mouth, twist into a grin, as she says,

contestants, are you ready? I am ready. Anything but food. Good. For my hunger is infinite. And that brings us to the cooking mama challenge! So for this, instead of a normal battle, you're going to be preparing dishes to feed into Mama's mall. Instead of damage, you will be dealing flavor damage, which will weaken her taste buds to the point where she is so

weaken her taste buds to the point where she is so wrapped with the ecstasy of cooking and creativity that she opens her mouth for you and allows you entry. You see that Mama is smiling, so excited to have contestants once more and she casts her amethyst eyes on you and says, your first trial is the pocket challenge. Each of you must create a dish using items you currently have on your person. Ready, set, go. Everybody roll initiative. 14, eight, seven.

Okay, cool. So the way this is going to work is on your turn you will have to prepare a dish And as opposed to doing normal attack rolls, you're gonna do three rolls You're going to do a history check for your knowledge of the recipe a slight of hand for your preparation of the recipe And then a performance check for the presentation of the of the dish Let's see. Jens you are up first, you approached them all, she says, well, well, well, what will you be preparing for your first challenge?

Well, my brother carries all of my things, so if we're talking strictly by what's in my pocket. Would you like the ass glove, brother? I would like my other gloves and also, I guess some of your hungry man dinners and the energy drink, please. What's going to use the hungry man? I'd be grudgingly excited about the gloves

in the hungry man and the energy drink. I am going to be making you a heated up hungry man dinner be making you a heated up hungry man dinner, drizzled with an energy drink sauce. It was supposed to be for my constitution. It's been so long since I had sad man stew. I'm so excited to try it. So, I'm going to need you to make those rolls, but first, I'm going to do a D20 roll to see if your energy drink is a healing drink or a poison drink. I believe a zero to 10 or one to 10 it'll be poison 11 to 20 it'll be healed. It's just gonna be a drizzling.

It's just a drizzling. That's a net 20. Oh, yes! Holy shit. Since you got a net 20 I'm gonna let you roll one of your three rolls with advantage. First one is history. Yeah, first one's history. Oh boy. I need advantage on that one. Yikes. That's an 11 for history. 11 for history. 23 for slight of hands. Wow. 24 for performance. Okay. Now add all those up, that's going to be what? Seven, eight. So that gives you a total of 58.

Walk me through your process for making Sadman's stew. Okay, so in order to make Sadman's stew, what I like to do is I cast like a little fire can trip over the Hung hungry man dinner. Get it just hot enough so it gets an even burn, even on like the brownie and the meatloaf. So it's not like icy on the inside, but it's not too hot either.

You don't want the gravy to be too hot. Believe me, I know, I've eaten a lot of these. And personal experience, that's what makes any meal extra delicious. And then you have to use your hands, of course. I use my hands on the energy drink. Personal touch. And just do a sprinkling of the energy drink over everything. Keep it a little pep.

And then I played it. I take it out of the platter. And I played it. And I handed over to Mama. A stone tongue emerges from the cavern. You place it on the tongue. It takes it in. Oh, that's a fantastic bake.

I'm quite chuffed it out tasty, that is. Thank you. You can roll 3D8s of flavor damage. Whoa. 17. 17. Okay, you do 17 points of flavor damage. Mama is beaming.

She's very proud of you for your sad man's due. You'll submit. Yeah, Jen just like starstruck. He's like somebody who like really is all about the Paul Hollywood handshake. Ah. Thank you. Yeah, the tongue comes out and gives you a fist bump.

Oh, a mama fist bump. Ha ha ha. Okay. You're sad, man, stew has made this mama very glad. Thank you. Ha ha ha. Okay, that's going to bring us to Onyx. Okay, I'm going to, the mantle of the moth, is that made from like moth flesh?

It's got some flesh on it still, probably. But it's like from like a hide. Yeah, it's a hide. Okay, I would like to cast elemental weapon to turn my weapon into a uh, so that it does fire damage. Nice. So I've got a nice torch going and I would like to make a Butterfinger BB Dusted beer braised Moth jerky. Oh wow. Jan's gets nervous.

Fantastic. I've never had Moth Jerky before. It's such a delicate creature. You have to crisp it just right. And I am going to do just that. Okay, go ahead and make your rolls. What is the sleight of hands? History, sleight of hand, and performance.

Performance, thank you. Oh my God, I'm really bad for all of these. What is this slide of hand? History, slide of hand and performance. Performance, thank you. Oh my God, I'm really bad for all of these. Okay. Oh, 21 for history. Nice. Jens is smiling. Like Sasha forced smile in the background.

Like in Great Perspillow, where they frame the person who's probably going home in the background while someone else gets good news. Yeah, just, just has an empty smile. I think, I think she's gonna win Momos Angel this week. Then a 21st stealth, I mean, first flight of hand. Oh my God.

So, and then a 21 for performance. For all Holy shit. I do not have good buffs to all that. I rolled like a 16, a 17, and an 18. That's amazing. You roll a 62. It's critically delicious.

What does that mean? That means you get brought up. I am. I'm clapping. Really? Because I'm clapping for me, Nia. I do clap really because I for me. Now. Yeah. I Do cut me brother, but no one except for me for honest. I'm happy I'm happy for her. Oh,

I think you got a fist bump. Yeah, I did. Do you need to go to the bathroom? You look quite Confident. I don't have rosacea. I know that's a room room That's been going around. I do need to go to the bathroom though, so I'm gonna take a lab understandable Is that a bubble screaming through a towel? It's times like this. I wish I had fingers so that I could lick them because that was delicious Thank you. I honestly lose my first time making it. Oh You've made it with a professional's touch Despite being an amateur and that's what baking is all about

You get to do five deates of flavor damage 24 24 damage excellent. Oh, I'm keeling over how delicious that was Thank you so much. I will add it to my recipe book. Good job, Onyx. Jens. Jens comes back this way. You're grabbing my wrist really hard. I just want to try to congratulate you.

Do you want to congratulate us or not? I'm normal. Honestly, I don't need approval the way you are saying you're doing a job. Did you just exclaim? I'm normal. I'm normal. What is? I'm not, yes, yes.

The basis rallying cry, I'm normal. Like a true chef, you shout it. Well, in the kitchen, preparing a dish. And that brings us, of course, to Niaac. Ah, you honor me. You say you miss looking your fingers. Ah, do. They're buried deep underground.

I have just a thing. Oh! Ah! Ah! I fill a glove with thumbs. Ah! And I dip each finger into a different jam. Jammy, tongue, tongue, tongue, of course.

Just to call it the fist of flavor. Oh, wow. The fist of flavor straight to your tongue. The fists of flavor. Another shot of Jens in the background. Smile. The camera just keeps finding Jens strange smile. Just grab out.

Dead shark eyes with a big smile. You do see a little lemur holding a camera for some reason. This is being filmed for someone. Okay, go ahead and make your rolls. Oh wow. The first one is what? History.

History? Alright, so that's just a raw seven. Do you add anything? No. Okay. No, I do not. The next one is Slide of Hand. That's 13.

Okay. And the last one is Performance. Which I minus one. That's a four. Oh! That's going to be, uh, one second. I used the ass glove.

Brother. No, it's good. That's good. I keep smiling. It's really good. You are not in competition with each other, Jones. You don't know that. Niaq, you definitely used the ass glove.

Um, you tossed this into the mall. She choose it for a second. Well, I like the jams, but... Oh, that's quite bad. I think I've given you Jardia, Maul Maul. You've done yourself... You've done yourself a bit of a disservice there. I'm afraid... I'm afraid I disservice there. I'm afraid. Oh

I'm afraid I might be sick. I'm so sorry. Um, you hear I have more thumbs rumbling You would think that the thumbs would prevent this It wasn't enough. Nya. It wasn't enough. Um, you hear this big rumbling and you take hold on Oh, no This is how Nya dies and you take hold on. Oh no. This is how Niaq dies. Oh my god. Please don't pop it. Not on the ribbon. Niaq, you take 70 points of acid damage.

Oh my god. You're sure it's not a slashing damage? Unfortunately no. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to! You sure it's not a slashing damage? Ha ha ha.

Unfortunately no. The Dudu glove that you put into this Cintiant Cave's mouth caused her to have a bit of a gastric reaction, and she vomits up acid right onto you for 70 points of damage. Are you still up? Yeah, I'm still. OK.

But we don't like that one bit. I'll bet a lot next time. That's truly unfortunate. But we all have down moments in the kitchen, but you've got to get back in there the next day, and cook roast because it's Sunday. I'm quite surprised you don't want to outright kill me before you do.

For this opportunity to redeem myself. Bama, does he have to go home? No. Oh, that's just the first round. You guys, we are not in competition with each other. We're a team brother. This is a team. Let me explain how.

I'm excused the weak link, OK? Clearly, the finale should be you and I. Very. The finale is all three of us getting through. Let's try to make a lie to you. Let me explain how the game works. As long as you remain standing, you are still in the game. If you fall, you are eliminated.

You need to be standing to enter at the end. So the only rule is that as long as you are alive, you're a winner on cooking mama Mama may I heal my stupid brother or is that against the rules? You know what cooking is a collaborative art. You may heal your brother. All right I can get over here. Thank you brother. I'll do a second level cure wounds great Okay, 20 awesome. Nice. Okay, 20. Awesome. Nice. Okay, so you see, um, Mama reaches into her mouth and her tongue comes out with a little like damp cloth on it and she kind of like dabs up all the acid.

Terribly sorry about that. Let's move on to our second round challenge, which is of course the Hunter's Challenge. I'll need you all to hunt down and prepare a dish from a monster chosen by me. And for this challenge, your monster is the Rameleon. You see she... barfs these three animals out of her mouth. They kind of land, look around, confused.

You see it's like a gecko, but with a massive rams horns on it, they kind of start licking their eyes and going, blah, blah, blah. Ah. And then they kind of, at you menacingly, and start like powing the ground. And we're gonna keep the same initiative order, but I'm going to roll for the remelians. Okay, cool.

So this is just a normal combat round, but once you defeat your remelian, you will need to cook it and prepare it as a dish for Mama. Three. Okay, so these three Remelians start running towards you, ready to fight. Jins, you were up first. Sweet. I will make some attacks. First attack is a 22 to hit. That hits. Thank you. I'm also going to do a defensive flourish

to add a D10 to my attack, and then that'll go on my AC as well. Love a spot of sport. That's 11 damage on the first attack. Okay. And then I'll make a second attack that's in 18 hit that hits as well. Sweet. 10 damage. Great. And then I'll do an offhand attack. 24 to hit. Hits. 10 damage. Nice. Yeah, you take a real good whack at one of these remelians. Eh. Eh. Ah. It's okay.

It's just like licking the wound with its very long tongue. It's kind of cute, are you sure you want to eat them? Oh, they're delicious. Okay, they must be very, because they're delicious to look at. You see, as I'm trying to kill it, I still have the dead smile and I'm crying. It's like killing this beautiful beast. As I'm trying to kill it, I still have the dead smile and I'm crying It's got to kill this beautiful beast. It's darts at your eyes to try and wipe the tears away I'm sorry you and I

We're alone in this world Are you making a connection with the food? No? Okay, that's the Ramelians turn One of them is gonna go other each is gonna go after each of you, I believe. Okay. They're going after Jin's first one, Mrs. second attack hits. I have 21 AC right now because of my defensive flourish. Oh shit.

That's still only one of those attacks hits with that defensive flourish. I'm gonna cast Shield. Oh, so what does that bump your ACF to? 26, that, yep, each of those attacks misses. Great, way to go. Ooh, cool, that brings us to Niac. We're gonna take three hits at you.

You're going home, Niac. That's not a competition. Like that. First one misses, ooh, second one hits. So the second two attacks hit. They're gonna use their claws here. A 19 damage, Niant. Okay.

Now they're going after Onyx. First attack misses. Second attack misses. Yes. Third attack hits. Shield. You're gonna shield? Yeah. Okay, great., misses. Yes. Third attack hits. Shield. You got a shield? Yeah.

Okay, great. That misses. Yep, they all missed. Nice. Good, I had to burn a slot, but it was worth it. Did you use your obsidian shield or your slot shield? All right. There you go.

I used my obsidian shield, my little war horse. Don't, you don't need to say anything. I don't think that thing can breathe All right, I'm losing it up Oh, that's dreadful Are you going to cook that? We could we could never however? It is in heat and he's producing a lot of milk I really think we should make it is Is that so? The reptilian. They produce milk.

Yes. The males. Yes, it's a moon accord thing. Okay, wow, I see the sacks right under there. Yeah. They're prominent. Okay, good to know. You know, you learn something in the kitchen.

The kitchen is a classroom if you make it so. Onyx, that's gonna be your turn. Okay, I'm going to wield my fiery elemental weapon to torch this little creature. Great, yeah, go for it. Does a 16 hits? 16 hits. Ah, yes. Okay, now I have an extra 2D4 and a plus 2 to the damage because of my elemental weapon.

Nice. First attack is 17. Wow nice. Are you attacking the one that was attacking you or the one that was attacking Jens? Do we do cleave in this? Yes. Okay, I will attack the one that was attacking Jens. What's this is a collaborative thing. We're not sending people home brother. The best meal is one person makes the main. Another person makes a side. I don't want to have to go home because of this. It's all I'm saying. It's sort of a friend's giving deal. There's only losers of those that die.

Yeah, this is like a sort of a potluck thing. What is friend's giving? Oh, that's so sad. It's like you recognize the second part of the word, but not the first part of the one. It's like a Thanksgiving for friends. Do you know what Thanksgiving is?

Yes, Thanksgiving, yes. Your family has to have you over. What is friends giving? The obligated to have you over. Is that a seat? What do you do? Of course. Why don't you hang out with your family?

Please, Mama, do not listen to this. This will be upsetting to the stomach We must get some love in this kitchen for this sad sad stew of a man Smiley, did you say 17 damage? 17 great keep going okay. I'll take another attack at that same. This is the one that gents it Right another attack at that same one Okay, I am guessing a 27 is going to hit. That'll hit big time. This one is mine, I marked it.

You brand it, unless you ruin it. Another 17. Great. Ooh, it's starting to bleed a little bit. It's starting to pant, one of its antlers is hanging off, but it's still got some fighting spirit in it. And I'm going to hit obsidian on the side so that obsidian accidentally squirts some milk at in.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Do you want to roll an attack for obsidian to see if he splashes milk on it? He does like a, as a base. For. Ha ha ha. The milk misses and lands on a nearby flower,

which wilts instantly. Oh, that's potent milk. Lots of lactic acid in that one. It's basically yogurt. Okay, that's your turn, Nyak, that's you. I misty flip over to where the milk wilted the flower. It dipped my arrow in it. And I fire it at, what what is it called the reptilian?

The remillion remillion the remillion Go ahead. I'll let you add a extra D6 of poison to that. Oh sweet. I was also going to Declare it my foe. Oh nice. Um, so you get advantage on it. That's right So that is a 21 to hit. That hits. 10 damage. 10 damage, a dollop of sour cream, right into this remelion.

And I'll fire a second arrow. Great. And that is a 22 to hit. 22 will hit. Are you firing at the same one? Yeah. You're ulti-ing up on Jinsus. I'm the hurt one, yeah.

Okay. Wow, disrespectful. Cooking is a conversation. Not a solo. I can't disagree. 18 damage on my second. 18 damage on the second one, great. Okay, yeah, it's looking real fucked up.

W-w-w-w-w-w-w. The milk is not helping. Everyone, dip your weapons. Dip your weapons in obsidian nectar. No. In the acid, you'd lay at the steel. Hold on. Why don't you roll initiative for obsidian, and then we'll roll to see if they produce milk?

16. 16. 16. Alright, they're at the top of the order now. Let's go ahead and do a roll. Yeah, just do a normal roll and if it's above 15 they produce poison. On the attend. Ah, nothing comes out, dry nips. An animal and he is unpredictable. Truly. Jins, it's your turn. Take my swings. That's a 27 hit. That'll hit.

Seven damage on the first stack. Okay. Second attack is a 26 to hit. Yep. 12 damage. Ooh. It's looking real hurt. This majestic beast looks like it's on its last legs.

I'm so sorry. Right understand. Oh my god, you're intelligent. You're more intelligent than Ron. No, I'm just a mimic, like a parent. Mama taught me these specific phrases. That seems cruel. 18 hits. That hits. Jins go ahead and unless you got hits, Jens, go ahead and, unless you got less than a two, go ahead and finish this Ramelian.

I covetously put my hands over it and go, this one's mine. And then I slid its throat. My kill, clean kill. I thought we were just knocking the bell brother. We're cooking them not. I did try. I mean I'm attacking to I have an idea for a vegan dish. I like you eat so little you don't understand how cookie works. This is the Remillions turn, the two remaining ones. I think both of them...

I can't go out to check. Yeah. I guess you got the credit you wanted. This is my kill, he said. Okay, so, yep, 26 will hit you, and they're going to yeah They miss on their claw tax, but their horn attack hits and in place of that horn attack They're going to breathe some fire at you. Whoa. Do I make a saving throw? Oh, yeah, sorry

I need you to make a DC 15 dexterity save easy 18 nice cool half damage then so I guess just 3d8s. 14 damage. Ow. And then the next one is also going to attack you. They're going to miss with their horn. Let's see if they hit with their claws. Let's see.

OK. One claw is going to miss. But the second claw will hit. I'm gonna catch shield. Oh, 23 AC? Yes, that misses. Sweet, great, okay, cool. You avoid this swipe of justice,

and that is the Remelians turn. Man, you are very good at dodging. That's going to bring us to Onyx. Okay, I'm going to go after whichever one hit Jen's harder. Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry, whichever one. I'm going to go after him as like a faint and then go for the one that I'm missing. Such dishonesty.

Truly rotten place. No, the finale is you and I on X You're 28 I don't think the people want to see hits They like a comeback story brother The first ever villain on Great British Bake-Off Jens Lindell

23 23 damage Yep, great I hit again Okay 26 26 hits. 21. Ooh, 21 damage. Ooh, big licks. Yeah, you get some nice chops in. And I'm using my elemental weapon so every kiss of my mall is searing them. Oh, it's like a very extremely raw steak. Yes. Oh, just kissing on the outside, lovely.

Keeping it nice and raw inside. And also throwing some crusted butter finger BB as I do it. Oh, switch and savor it. I love it. Is that your turn? That's my turn. Cool. Nia, it's you.

Are you going to go for the one that Onyx laid into or are you going to go for the one that's at full health? I leap up in the air and do a 360. I shoot my arrows straight up in the air and they come down on the one that Onyx was going after. Can he shart if he rolls low? Yeah. That is rolling with advantage. He's not gonna share. I know you're just spinning so much. So that is a 24 to hit.

24 that hits. And that is 15 damage. Mm-hmm. 21 to hit. Hits. 15 damage. 15 more damage. This one's already starting to look hurt too. Make a meal of me.

You want to be in? Yes, we are just fake animals made by the maw. Don't worry, it's guilt-free. And yet it makes me question what your existence is. It's cute, free art, but it's essentially. Well, that's pea proteins. This is growing something in a laboratory and then eating it. Are far beyond. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, okay. A dark ritual brought us here. We die and are returned to mush, and then we are born again. Oh, that's easy. We are pho Phoenixes of meat. This is worse than what I originally thought. Yes, I do seem like a terrible fate

to be constantly consumed. What's the meanixes? This is our way to die, to be eaten, to die again. This is the way. This is the way. Is that your text? Yes. Okay, great.

That brings us back around to a city. A city and come on, baby. I try to show Obsidian a picture of a sexy moonicorn. I thought we had that little smile covered. No. Goodness. Is that a creature? Right. This lid.

That's a real flesh in the throat. Blood creature. Only a five. Dusty nips. So dry. Dust came out. A puff of condensed milk comes out. Okay, that's good to make puff of condensed milk comes out. Oh.

OK, that's good to make a pretty good Americano though. OK. Jins, that's your turn. I heave. 18, but it's sweet. Nine damage. OK, great. Second attack. 21 to hit. Yep. Eight damage. Okay, great. Second attack, 21 to hit.

Yep. Eight damage. Okay. And then my offhand attack. 16 to hit. Hits. Yeah. 11 damage.

Ooh, Jens. You're claiming all the credit. This looks like a real hurt as well. Wow. I see that it has been dusted by butter finger bebes and if I put my hands around this one and cut it's throughout this one's mine I finished it it's still hanging in there oh so alive yeah I got it started just bleeding everywhere you did not oh yeah you didn't hit the jugular it it's just freaking out. Ah!

This was not, this was, what do you call it? When you like it, when there's like butchers who do it like humanely, but this is not kosher. Yeah, this is not kosher. I'm being a great joy essentially. Okay, that brings us to the rameleons. The one who's neck you just cut, it's kind of trying to buck you. cut. I was gonna try and buck you.

And then I guess just gouge you with a horn. Let's see here. A little deserved. Oh, 24 is going to hit unless you're gonna do some bullshit. Nope. Okay. 12 damage. Ow.

It's one alley. And then let's do two follow up claw attacks. Ooh, 14 misses. 13 misses. misses all right cool two misses and of course the other one sees its friend in distress No, we promised we'd die together. We will become one large lump of paste to be consumed Pace dream bigger. We will be squeezed out of the tube. I will turn you into paste. Just lay down your weapons. Okay, 19 is gonna hit you and then the claw text miss. That's going to be eight more damage. All right, cool. And that is the Remelians turn. One is looking extremely hurt. The other is mourning the fact that they won't die together as they had planned. Onyx, that's your turn.

Okay, I'm going to attack the hurt to Remelians. I'm going to specifically avoid the gaping wound in the neck because I think that is inhuman. Does it a 21 hit? That hits. Okay. I'm going to serum for 18. 18. Onyx finished this remelion. Okay.

I think I would like to just crisp the entire outside so that it's like a nice charred, but like soft on the inside. Ooh, yeah, the inside. Ooh, thank you for the assist. Like a, like a Cajun blackened thing. A charred gen. Yes, like a Cajun blackened thing, yeah. Okay, so you prepare Cajun remelian.

Gins, how did you prepare your remelian that you killed first? Oh boy. You can take a moment to think about it while Niac attacks. Oh, I still have one more attack. Oh, okay. You can cleave on to the next one. Yeah. Warm him up for Niac.

Yes, please. Does it hit? It hits. For 17. Wow. Okay. Is that your return? That is my turn.

Niac, you're up. I shoot my arrow and miss. That is a 12. That does miss I'm gonna get up. I shoot my arrow and miss, that is a 12. That does miss. I shoot another arrow. Okay. And I hit, that's a 19. That hits.

Please make me mush. I don't know if I want to. 13 damage. Cool. We must be mush. We must be mush. Okay. It's once again obsidian's turn. Can we make that milk?

Okay, I give him some butt scratches, but the kind that make animals feel confused in a little more. Oh, this is the most iconic stop it. I beg of you. I beg of you. I beg of you. 12. Why does he have such performance anxiety?

Ryan horny. Ha, ha, ha. Pfft. Tell your horse to run away. Onyx, are you sure he's in heat? We free you, Obsidian. He's in heat. I'm not being like a munch house.

I'm sure. I'm sure I proxy hair. He has an e. As your owner's friend, I free you. The majestic beast. Jins, that's your turn. Sweet, scoop up a little obsidian dust. Stab.

Ooh, that's not very good. That's a 13. Mrs. Deng, second attack, yikes. That's a 12. That misses too. Great. Shout out to the two crew. We missed three times.

We missed all the attacks. Yeah, I did a bad job. I will say, the way I prepared my last one is through a combination of hungry man dinners, the rest of the energy drink and the feminine products. What? I need those. Just, I just need a few.

Just leave me a diva cup. Leave me a diva cup. I leave, I honestly diva cup, but I used to tamp on. And I make, I do like a turduckin. Okay. What if though you took like a sauce and you put it in the tampon and used it to sort of squeegee over the meat? Thank you. I do that. Yeah, so it's a hungry man dinner

With just slabs of hermelion steak on top and then a drizzling of I guess like gravy blood sauce tampon gravy No Tampon. No, thank god, damn it. I forfeit. I yield, brother. I am the master chef. Okay, so you've made sad man's steaks, wonderful. With tampon gravy.

Interesting. It was just using as an applicator. Never seen that before. So I guess points for originality, as it were. Thank you. Big smile and chark eyes. This is the shark. Yes.

This is the shark land lord eyes. A polite contestant is clearly devastating. It's the Remelians term one more. You know who they're attacking. It's 20 to hit. It's 20 to hit. I'm going to catch you all this time. I have a 23 AC now.

All right, they're going to try and swipe you with their claws. Come on, get out of here. It's 13 and 17. Oh, misses, they both miss. Great. Okay, so there's one rebellion left. Onyx, you're up. Okay, so there's one rebellion left, Onyx, you're up. Okay, I will attack this rebellion.

I got an at one, but because of my elemental weapon, oh, I get a plus 12, but 13 is going to miss. Okay, I miss. There's an 18 hit. That is. I hit him for 22. Wow. I see him. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. I see her. Sssss.

Oh, oh. You know, maybe I kind of put the weapon through its body so that it's getting seared from the inside as well. Ooh, warming it up on the inside. No sear, no fear. Ha, ha, ha. Is that your turn? That's my turn.

Now I get to you, baby. I will fire both of my shots at once. Beautiful. Ooh, that is a 18 and a nat 20. Oh shit. That's how you fucking cook a meal. 35 damage. Wow. Okay. It's looking hurt. Niaq, this one has got your name on it. I want to set it free and give Mama a salad. That is your choice. But unfortunately, it is obsidian's turn. And let's see if they choose to make some milk. Okay. I train obsidian's eyes on naek as he's doing this impressive maneuver 15 I'm just an explosion of milk. You honor me.

Issues fourth. Do you catch it in anything? I catch it on my blade. Oh, it's just covering your blade. Actually, my blade is on fire, so I really couldn't do that. But so I just, I catch it in my diva cup. Oh.

Ah. Ah, true diva. I catch it and then I pass it to Jen. So Jen's, you know, have a diva cup of rancid milk. I pour the rancid milk on my blade. Perfect. This is my life. Hey, smile.

Take my swings. It's still smiling. It's truly outside of the box cooking. That's a 27 of the box cooking. That's a 27-hit. Hit. Please, blink, brother. I'm not blinking, just swinging, smiling.

Do I get extra for poison? Yeah, do a D6 of poison. Sweet. That's 15 damage on the first hit. Nice. Second attack. That is 25 to hit. That hits. Poisoned just on the first hit.

Yeah, we'll say you can have it on both. Oh, great. Sweet. That is 14 full dvc. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage.

14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. 14 damage. I'm even milk damage. Jen's finish this Ramillion. I Look at Nyak and I go brother. Would you have me free him?

Yes, brother. I laugh at you. You're going home Right, I am my choice brother. I'm. My choice, brother. I'm gonna get a spin off into the villain. I love it. Not usually a villain on one of these guys' shows. Gents likes it's a camera. He really isn't here to make friends.

I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to cook. You see the rebellions like, I wanted this, but not this way. Oh. And you defeat it. Niaac, do you want to prepare this dish or are you abstaining this round? No, I'm gonna prepare, but I have got some tricks up nicely. Okay, so we have sad man's stakes

from Jens, K-Gen, Rameleon, from Onyx. How would you like to prepare yours? I have the leftover, the remnants of a wilted salad. Is that? Yes, give a few leaves left, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna mix that with some obsidian milk and make sort of a cream spinach. I like the cream spinach.

Cream spinach. You're gonna make her so sick again. Beautiful, a cream dream, if you will. And I beg of you to eat this dish without the remillion meat. I promise you won't miss it. I beg of you to let them stay in their afterlife. I'm gonna double meet my man, the subway style.

I'm gonna double meet my man, the subway style. I'm gonna double meet my man, the subway style. Nye, I do you allow, Jins, to scoop your leftover meat. You can do whatever you want. It's his ticket home. He's getting heated. Trauma. I'm getting heated. Troll ma. Can I see if this makes up if Obsidian is impressed by this movie by Nayak?

I'm sitting for an e-print time. I was curious. Yeah, see what the dice say. It was just the killing block. Was that a na? Nayak was performing for Obsidian, so that really devastates him. Why don't you all roll your three dice simultaneously and then just give me the number?

54. 54? I achieve, I have 41. 41? 32. Can I jump on him and healing him too? Okay, here we go. I'm gonna read all the results. I'm going to slingshot grapes and to his mouth.

Oh, in case he gets lost in action. He'll get. So you see, Mama kind of goes down the line. She eats the sad man's steaks and says, despite everything I know is in this and how you applied the gravy, which I watched you do, and it was, it was filthy. I don't know how else to say it.

It was a disgusting act. Um, interesting, interesting note. The Neal Taste Fantastic. Thank you. You can do 3D8s of Flava Damage. I would love to. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I honestly don't know how you do it. 15 days.

He's so full of shit. You just wait until the after show. You wait until the reunion show. You wait until the reunion show. Onyx, your Akagen Remillion was a brave twist on a classic, and I enjoyed it tremendously. It's quite good. 2D8's of flavor damage. That's going to be 11. 11 damage, wonderful.

And that brings us to Niac. You tried very hard, but there's certainly room to grow with your cream dream. You get to do one de-eight of damage, but for the biting comments she's made, I'm going to be taking a bite attack at you. Oh! That's made. I'm going to be taking a bite attack at you. Oh. Oh. Oh.

That's three. Oh. She looks sad at what she's had to do. Let me go ahead and take a bite attack. What is that going to be? What are you at, Nia? 22. Retrieval to your style.

I really want to give you a grape. Now, if you take 17 points of psychic damage from those biting comments, oh good, I didn't come here to make friends. Now, I know that temperatures are running hot, and that's the way we like it, because you need a hot oven to make delicious food, and that of course brings us to our final challenge.

Contestants, are you ready? Obviously not. I need to speak to Niaq real quick. I grab Niaq's shoulders and I pull them in close and I go, look, Niaq, everyone knows it has to be you and me in the finale. All right, Onix doesn't want to play ball. I kick, Jim. I give. I kick him in like in the

heel. I collapse. I get back up and I pretend like it didn't happen. Thank you, Tom. I like it. People love the drama. They love the two brothers that hate each other. I knew it, brother. I knew it was all a game. It's all a game. I knew you loved the game. I kicked the bag of each other. I knew it, brother. I knew it was all a game. It's all a game. I knew you loved me. It's all a game. I kicked the bag of his knees. I go down again.

I give Naya a bardic inspiration. Oh, and then I will cast a third level cure rule. Wow, Lee. Okay, that is 21, Nayaq. Nice. And then you've got a D10 of bardic inspiration to use on one of your skill checks. So hopefully he won't get thrown up on this time.

Ha ha. Last up, of course, is our finale challenge. Here it is. Using only ingredients found in the surrounding environment, make a delightful show-stopping cherries jubilee, but with a modern twist. Contestants, get to it. Okay, Obsidian, I'm gonna need you to produce.

Obsidian, you got a 17. Obsidian is making milk of anyone else. Oh, I'm sitting here, got a 17. I'm sitting here, making milk of anyone on sick. Oh, we got milk. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Jerry's Jubilee. What is a Jerry's Jubilee? I looked it up before and I believe it is, actually I need to double check, because it's basically like cherry goop on ice cream, but there's one more ingredient, hold on. Oh, it's ice cream.

Oh, so we do need ice, we do need milk. No, definitely take, I will definitely take a, I feel the several diva cups. I will, I'll take a diva cup of, I'll use the tampon applicator that I have. Just scoop up some of... of Sittian's milk, truly, so wild. Of Sittian's milk, and then I am going to...

What can I do to make sure he's? I guess I will count into the, I'm going to cast friends on Niaq, even though I don't really need to, but I want to make him feel really, really guilty if he doesn't help me do this. I'm casting friends on you, Niaq, and I want you to find some cherries. I can't do this at all. Oh, no. The alliance is strong, brother. Does he have to make it safe? I think so. Also, just to clarify, a cherries jubilee

is cherries in Lucour, Flambade, and put over ice cream. Flambade, oh good. So I do have my flame still going, because I have my element working out. And we have alcohol, we have alcohol, too. All right, my element working out. And we have alcohol too. Mm-hmm. All right, so I'm casting. That's a old flask.

I'm gonna send Nyak off. It is just a charisma. Oh wait, for the duration you have advantage on all charisma checks directed at one creature of your choice that isn't hostile towards you when the spell ends, the creature realizes you used. Magic influence the mood and becomes hostile towards you when the spell ends. The creature realizes you used magic to influence the mood and becomes hostile towards you.

Talk them out. A creature prone to violence might attack you. Jinsmer's Nia Ground 2, it's happening. It just says for a minute, it just works. So I just magically influence Nia to go pick up some berries. I, I, brother. Try to find us cherries, but if not,

just some other kind of non-poisonous berry will do just fine. You didn't even have to ask. I know I did. Um, Niaq, why don't you give me a nature or survival check to see if you can find some berries. The type of berry will depend upon your role. 19. 19. 19.

Yeah, fuck, you find some cherries. Hell yeah. You find some big juicy maraschinos, just dangle in from a tree. These can't be right. Yeah. For bringing them to us now. Yeah.

All right. So you got the cherries. What else are you gonna put in there? I guess cherries. They're milk. Milk? I'll use just some like, try to use some like magical there? I guess Jerry's milk. I'll use just some like, try to use some like magical energy to try to freeze the milk.

And use a little bit of that beer, maybe. Sure. Yeah. That is a pretty close approximation of a Jerry's Jubilee. Thank you. I'm not gonna make you roll with disadvantage or anything. Go ahead and do your three rolls. Oh, great.

Okay, that is a 15 on history. Great. I'm not gonna make you roll with disadvantage or anything. Go ahead and do your three rolls. Oh, great. Oh! Okay, that is a 15 on history. Great. Oh my lord. That is a 30 on slight of hand. What? So 45 so far and then performance. And that is a 20 on performance.

Holy shit. Oh! Again, gins. Despite watching you put this together using a diva cup full of rancid milk that you froze into what is essentially an ice cube of milk, this is the best cherries Jubilee I've ever tasted. Thank you so much. It is critically delicious. Thank you, I've ever tasted. Thank you so much. It is critically delicious.

Thank you, that was an honor. Thank you. That you get to do five d8s of flavor damage. Oh, hell yeah. God, that rolling well. 23. 23. Wow.

Mama's looking overwhelmed by just the symphony of flavor in your cherries Jubilee. She's so close to the edge of flavor. Please take her there, Onyx. OK, I'm going to do all the same stuff, except I'm going to try the forage for vanilla, so I can add it to the milk. All right, yeah, go ahead and make nature or survival.

If you do well enough, I'll let you roll advantage on one of your compositions. Just said in the eye, I got to go get it. He's charmed right now. So that's what it is. Happily. 17. 17.

Yeah. You don't find a vanilla plant. You find a vanilla zard, which is a little gecko. I assume he's in heat, so I try to stroke him in a way that makes some vanilla milk. Oh, it just bleeds out of him. She jacking off of us. She orders him. I'm just humming to myself. She's been out there for 15 minutes.

I think she's in heat. Go ahead and roll with advantage on one of your prepper rolls. Okay. What? Okay, that's going to be a... Oh, do I mean just Adam all out? Yeah, he's Adam up. Oh shit, should have checked

if there was a dessert in the hungry man down here. Like a stale cookie, yeah, little brownie. There was a brownie in there, you mentioned that before. 55. 55. It's not critically delicious, but this is a fantastic cherries jubilee.

I think that what you went for with the vanilla zard was lovely, but unfortunately, it does take strongly of come. It's got a bit of a proteiny flavor to it. Something about the coyote moon, every animal has just to eat around. That damned coyote moon. Sounds of like a big howling coyote moon every animal is just in the town. That damned coyote moon. That sounds like a big howling coyote. He's going orange. That's 3D8's of flavor damage.

13. 13. Okay. Oof. Yep. You can see little stones crumbling off the side. It's almost like they have meat sweats, but in rock form, sweet sweats. Sweet sweats, yes.

Well done, brother. Nia, I can talk to you. You remember your part of your inspiration. This is a cherry jubilee newvo. I'm making it in a cup. It's a little bit more of a milkshake. We have rancid milk vanilla come a

Cherry Tom a regular cherry a brownie covered in jam scorched just a bit To make sort of a crystallized sugar topping. Caramelized, I love it. Advantage, you'll learn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Niac, roll all of your dice of the advantage. Yeah. Yeah. Good Lord. Remember to add some body inspiration at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. 64. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! The Mama is overwhelmed. Crystal tears leak out of her eyes as she just takes bite after bite of your cherries Jubilee Nouveau. The secret ingredient was the cum. I could tell.

How did you prepare the cum so well? How did you get the cum flavor out of the cum? I think it aged just a little bit. It was newcom when you used it. And I scooped it from the ground. Just maintained the smile as vomit sprays through steam. down to smile as vomit sprays through Steve. Niaq, your decision to age the calm ever so slightly so that it... Confirmance in the open air gave your dish a yeasty flavor which I think is extremely done, I express.

Exemplifies the beauty and delicacy and passion of cooking that I love to see in a chef. I bow, I bow deeply. I name you the cooking mama, little angel chef of the year. What? Come home brother. You used magic on me. You used me brother. First time I was in the kitchen, it's coming back to me.

He's getting aggressive. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first time I was in the kitchen. First time I was in the kitchen, first. I guess friends on Alex. I'm really sorry.

Why are you mad at him? Why could you be mad at him? He is your app brother. It ends a minute later. Why did you do that to me? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had elemental weapon blasts for two hours.

I mean for an hour. Does a 30 hit? Yes. Elemental weapon lasts for two hours. I mean for an hour. Does a 30 hit Get all fighting for the mom on I hate you for 20. I'm so hurt Okay, I take it back. I take it back. No, it's fine. It's I give him a grape. Oh, thanks. Does that give back what you did to me? I think it's a nice. Yeah, it's a hit. Alright, I appreciate it. Um, Mama wipes tears from her eyes with her massive stone tongue and says, what an amazing challenge.

There were a few ups and downs, laughter tears, lots of bloodshed overall, but you three proved that with enough patience, effort and love, anyone can make a dish delicious enough to save the infinite hunger of a cursed sentient cavern Congratulations, I grant each of you permission to enter the periphera I tripped jen's on the way Fallen bang my head Well that mama opens her mouth super wide and kind of,

open a Aladdin style. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Like the little cavern of Jafar, whatever. Yeah, absolutely. Once again, the style is open a Aladdin as mama opens her mouth super wide. It freezes in place like the cave of wonders.

The stalagite and stalagmites retract, and her amethyst eye sees to glow. You can now enter the periphera. You hear, wow, that was the weirdest challenge. She's ever done. Normally, it's just, you know, she tries to fight you or she shoots lasers. She usually focuses on the finale so much

And I take into account the first two challenges. I kick Jen's in the back She loves the finale She's all that on the finale So I guess you'll be entering the cave Yes, is this as far as you go I must return return to my people. Now that you've helped me lift this cloud, Nadasas put over me, I can return to serving the people of Nuckelton, but I look forward to seeing what you find in there. I will grant you your privacy about what you're looking for. You seem like good folks, and this is clearly what

Nadas wants me to do. So this is as far as I go, and I wish you the best of luck. Go with my blessing as well as all the people of Rana Four and Nadas above all. We thank you, Haven. Yeah, I clasp his shoulders. You helped us so much, and you also taught us so much. Thank you.

Hey, we teach each other every day. Cooking is a classroom. Oh, you think that dude? I was listening. Oh, yeah, cool. It's really catchy. Real quick, Haven, do you have any kind of healing capabilities because those lizards were only attacking me

and then Onyx beat the shit out of me. Sort of a sore loser because she came in third. I give him another great. Oh, thank you. And also kick his knees in. Unfortunately, I'm still pretty zonked out from summoning Mama. So I have no heels to give, but I can give you a piece of wisdom as you depart.

Okay. I pitch your shoulder and cast your wounds on you as I do it. Thank you. I know that change can be difficult, seeing your mother with someone else and seeing, honestly, too much of your friends can be a little hard, but if you trust in yourself, you'll get what you need one day. And I truly believe that. Smiling and weeping. Whatever.

Good luck in there and keep your wits about you. The periphera has a funny way of getting into your thoughts. I've heard. So the silverback clasps you all on the shoulders. Gives you a big gorilla hug, ruffles your mullet niac, and then heads back into the jungle back to Nuckleton Village, and you are left with this massive cave facing you, and as you start descending into it, you hear a familiar laughter. And this time, all three of you hear the voice. Well done, my champion.

You're so close for achieving the goal for what you are chosen. Now, let the chaos consume your heart and bring the crystals to me. Ahahah Ah! Ah! Ah! And that's where we'll end our session. We're a list you bastard! Yeah! Woohoo! He called me a champion. So he's cool with me.

Yeah. Win-win situation. Yeah. 1 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 Oh boy! Uh, wow, that was a fun one, y'all! I've been left that hard for so long. I know! He's the tasty so- Just getting... Just... So into the drama.

I'm having a really good time. I'm having a really good time. I'm having a really good time. Oh boy! Uh, wow, that was a fun one, y'all! I've been left that hard for so long. I know! He's the tasty, so. Just getting, just so into the drama.

I'm going to be show. I'll tell you a great thing of obsidian being in heat. It was so exciting to roll. And then also here obsidian's reaction. And also just kicking my legs out constantly. I don't think I've ever been more on the angeomy seat than when I was waiting to see if Obsidian would produce milk. No, it was worth it when we finally did.

Thank you all so, so much for listening. I want to give a quick shout out to Daniel Raymos for doing the sound mixing on the show and providing music, of course. You can find them at Dr. Schubert on Instagram or DanielRamos.com. Thank you to Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription that I used to plan these sashes. And of course, thank you so, so much to Yen's Christian T. You are, of course, Mama's Little Star Baker every time. No exceptions. Yens of course composes some of the music you heard

in this episode. Thank you all. And thank you all for playing in my fun little cook and sandbox. Thanks for having us, Duncan. Yeah, thanks for letting me be on Great British Bake Off. Like I've always dreamed. Of course.

And now it's time for Dunkle to have a little great British Bake Off of his own. That's right, he's got one kids cuisine for you all to share. Oh, I'm still so hungry. Dunkle, noises come from the den when we all go to bed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha A sex boflex. Oh! See ya! A bof sex. That was a hate gun podcast.