Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 14: Periphera Peril

Episode Date: May 23, 2020

With anxious minds and careful steps, the heroes of Team 22 begin their descent into the chaotic realm of the Periphera! As their sanity dwindles, Onyx builds a social media menagerie, Nyack uses his grease for good, and Jens finds himself under the hypnotic sway of a rare condition known as Ron Madness.Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design & Engineering by Daniel Ramos (TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)MUSIC: "Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily Axford"Road to Silverado" by Daniel Ramos "Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Wisdom of Neddas" by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgun podcast. Welcome to Trinavale. Trinavale. Trinavale. Trinavale. Ooh, we're back, baby. It's been too long, but the main campaign's over, and it's time for a little Trinavale vacation.

Vacation, I'm looking at my character sheet, and I'm very hurt. Ha, ha, ha. I'm looking at my character sheet, and I'm hurt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha shows for no one. Ha ha ha! It is a true adventurers paradise. Today's story begins inside the massive living cavern known as Ma Ma's Ma. After being awoken from its slumber by the silverback of Ranafore, the cave challenged our heroes to a cooking contest to ascertain whether or not they were worthy

to enter the world beneath Trinavale, the gray chaos known as the Purifero. After a drama heavy competition, the trio prevailed and was granted passage into the world below. Will our heroes survive this dire spillunk? Or has their spilluck run out? Booooooow! Only time will tell. Gonna be here all week.

And so without further ado, let's rejoin, Retrieval team 22 and begin chapter 14 of the Trinnovale Adventure! Woohoo! Ah, it's so good to be back. Hello friends, and welcome to the table. I am your dungeon master, aka, a dunkel, and I am joined by Jen's Lindell,

Star Baker, Ron Hater. Ha! Ha! Ha! Keep working on it. You gotta really focus on your ligatures. Mollet of silk, arrow of milk, Nyak of the Rana 4. Ha!

Ha! Ha! Fantastic. Ah! And of course obsidian. Oh yeah. Oh right, I wrote a long rhyme per obsidian. Ha!

Ha! Ma!ah! Ha ha ha! Well now the gang's all here, we can proceed. Y'all, I know that we are ready to get back into this venture to descend into the peripheral, but first, how about a very brief recap? Let's do it. Okay.

All right, I'm keeping this one short because I posted a recap of episodes one through 13 in the main feed, so if you're feeling a bit lost on the story, you are too good to the little baby birds. Thank you. You know, I want to make sure they're fed so they can grow big and strong and leave me forever. Barf on our audience. So yeah, if you want to check that out, this recap of episodes one through 13, it's in the main feed. So if you're feeling a bit lost on the story, just go ahead and

check that out first and then jump right back in. So here we go. After collecting the five powerful Ginnaract crystals and fleeing from your former employer, the benefactor, aka the God the Larr, you three made your way to the Golden Iris Society, an organization that seeks to protect Trinavale from the gods that made it. To do this, the Golden Iris plans on reviving a mysterious entity known as the Hidden God. To find more information on how to summon this being, you three were given a new mission. Enter the Perifra, take the crystals to the lathe of creation where they were created,

and then destroy them so as to unleash the ancient knowledge of the gods contained within. However, your journey will not be an easy one, but the lay there's not the only relic lurking in the periphera. This forsaken realm is also home to the crystal prison of Verlis, the chaotic Titan who whispers to Onyx through her crystal flail. Honestly, he talks pretty loud. Yes, it's a very loud whisper. People don't like it when I'm in the movie theater. I've never thought of being like a radio DJ because there is something comforting and gravely about what you say. I will turn the entire world into my morning zoo.

Ah! Oh, that is the most intimidating thing you have said thus far. Even now, as you step deeper into the cave, you hear his raspy laughter hang like death in the cold air. Commercials on the tins in 20s. Weather. Every half hour. It's not a commercial for the hour.

No commercial for free hour. No commercial free hour. And... Scoundrel. And that is where we are now. Woo! So y'all are in Mama's Ma. You've kind of walked deeper and deeper into the cave. And as you do, you leave the light of Rana 4 behind you. You plunge into this unknown darkness and pass through

narrow tunnels, winding passageways. Occasionally you hear the trickling of a small stream or the skittering of a blind cave crab, but me be. I just thought it sounded so cute. And I think I've been thinking that it'd be really good for my turnstagram to have sort of an animal presence. Animal content does very well. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead and give me a,

give me a perception check first to see if you have any idea where these crabs are and then give me a slide of hand to see if you have any idea where these crabs are and then give me a slight hand. I got a 13. 13? Okay, yeah, there is a crab in your vicinity. Okay. You have crab site.

Okay, Jen's will you give me the help action on this last one? Oh, fine. Naya, give me the ass glove. I hand Jen's the ass glove and I on it shall we go live? Um actually I'm never on the Instagram so if we're gonna go live Nia should do this. I wear the ass glove. I turn on my phone. Okay you're sort of angling it more at Nia than the two of us you can get two of us

in frame. I don't know if you noticed, but my avatar is NIAC. Okay, so NIAC, you do the slide of hand for us. Oh, okay. And I have a help action on this, right? Yeah, that is a 21. Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, we have crab.

Houston, we have a crab. Houston, we have a crab. Folks, we got a crab. And that's not just any crab. Onyx, you look closer at it. You see that it's got a little pinched face that looks almost human. This is no ordinary cave crab. This is a crabster. I throw it to the ground. I capture, die if I capture the crabster in my arms. These crabs will be monetized.

Hey, how's it going? What you doing? I'm a crabster. I'm have crab have lobster. I'm blinded hell. And you talk as well. This is amazing content. Okay. Thank you so much for letting me take that detour. Now we continue I put my crab in a very adorable hermit crab kid. I Throw it over my shoulder in a bindle and I move on a little terrarium. This is perfect. Yes, it's any castle So you feel like the king I can only fit like half of myself in in this castle but it's kind of nice it's like a sleeping bag. Yeah. Do you think it's going to talk a lot? Because... God willing, yes.

Crystal willing, yes. You, I'm just your pet. Can you say it by my tummy teek and you say, by my tummy teek? By my tummy teek. How do I do? Tommy T. Bye, my Tommy T. Bye, my Tommy T. How'd I go? This is amazing content. This is really good for me. Don't set me free.

Buy me Tommy T. How's that? I shoot a terrified look at Niaq. Brother, you must protect me from this beast. I don't think anyone could protect us from this. Honest is zoo grows more annoying by the day. I chew my fingernails nervously and I'm still wearing the ass glove. Zalumi air menejari. Okay, I'm pretty tired from my big debut on Trinstagram. So I'm going to go to sleep for about I don't know 12 hours.

Yeah, I shoot him with a trinked heart. I'm like, when you are a zookeeper you keep these around. Great. Back to the, uh, back to the zoo. Okay, yep. So, uh, yeah, you hear the cute little snores of the crabster in its hermit crab cage. Um, horrifying. Over my shoulder in a bindle.

And after this detour, you plunge even further into the cave. You walk for a bit more, and then eventually you arrive in a large dome-shaped clearing that is illuminated by clumps of small glowing purple worms. As your eyes adjust, you realize that the clumps are arranged on the ceiling to resemble the constellations of the night sky. And at the back of the cavern, you also see a large doorway framed with the same lavender worm light as the ceiling. To the right of the door is a small illuminated button with an arrow pointing down. You have finally found the entrance to the periphera.

All right, what do you do? Does this button feel like a bait to anyone else? You want to do an inside check? Yeah. Cool. I got a four. You see the down symbol on the button on X and you are terrified of it. You're like, I don't want to go down.

You think that the button is threatening you. If you press the button, you go down like your hip points, like you go unconscious. I am convinced of this. What did you all get? I got a five. I only got a ten. Okay. Niaq, you are also intimidated by the down button.

Between this and the crapster, I'm having a very horrifying day. It's like that John Mulaney joke, like a horse watching a dog. It's like one minorly intelligent being. And... Gens with a 10, even with a 10, you realize this is just a normal button.

Okay. I'm still intimidated by it, but I'm not afraid of it. Guys, it's just a button we can touch it, right? I mean, Nia could touch it, and it would be fine. I am still wearing a glove. Okay. Um, how hurt is everyone? Because I might need a little short rest or something.

I'm like, I say warlock, I will never turn down a short rest. I am at actual 14 HP and that is very bad for me. I'm okay, I'm hurt, my stomach hurts. We have already taken a short rest today, so I only have- Oh, we could take a long rest. I think I have seven. You want to just sleep in the sleep.

In this weird little worm room, it's easy. We are underneath a canopy of fake stars. Is this weird little worm room, it's easy. It's weird. Underneath a canopy of fake stars, is this not a beautiful, identical place to take a seat? Okay. I just want to make sure I have some high ground so I don't, none of the worms touch me while I'm sleeping. I make a little stack of bags, of gloves.

Very much appreciated. We make it a mountain of bags and then some camp on it. Yeah. And if everyone could sleep on the outside, so there's sort of a buffer between me and the worms, so I spoon the big mound of bags to try to keep the worms from reaching my brother. I make a bed of worms. So you're sleeping in a glowing bed of worms.

Is that gonna keep you awake? Onyx, probably not. Yeah, it's fair. So all right, so you're all sleeping in this big cave. You've made your various little nests to curl up in. Are you taking a long rest or a short rest? Long if we can. I would like a long rest.

Okay, okay. I really only need a short rest, but if you all want a long rest, that's the most important thing. I'm nearly out of spells. I have like a third of my spells. You get the sense having dealt with Mama before this. You realize that this is a relatively safe spot.

With Mama having gone dormant again, no one else is coming in here. So this is a relatively safe spot. Yeah, we haven't gone down yet, so. Yeah, this is cool. This seems like the time. We're not gonna get a rest for a relatively safe spot. Yeah, we haven't gone down yet. So yeah, this is cool. This seems like the time we're not going to get a rest for a while. Awesome. All right, so you all drift asleep.

Onyx, you make a pillow out of glow worms. Jins, I guess you find like a little miniature pride rock to crawl up on. I take a couple shifts just sweeping bugs away from my brother. You only take a short rest because you spend all night sleeping. I'm just swallowing worms all night. There's no attracted to me for no reason. I'm chewing them away from your feet. At some point, when Jens is choking on a worm, I hold out and I take a selfie of the three of us.

So that me and Nia look great and Jens is still getting out of work. I'm flexing as I'm sweeping for sure. I just have like a quadruple chin as I like pull my face and throwing up some worms. The glow worms are like one of those Kim Kardashian lights so I look perfectly lit. Nia gets flexing and Jen's double chin choking

on a purple worm. But the worm actually looks really good. Yeah, it's like the biggest purple worm of all of them. So it's like one of those oversized gummy worms. So she's hanging out of his mouth. The worm is giving like a hang loose sign. That's a rat worm. So after your worm shenanigans, you finally all settle into bed and drift off to sleep.

However, as you begin to sleep, your minds are not filled with dreams, but instead a slow parade of past memories, a morning zoo of memoria. Jens, you remember killing Rast, your father's half brother, and freeing him from burilis's clutches. And then you go further back. You remember Mercurio Delurio demanding you give him the crystals you collected for the Benefactor, only to be betrayed by his bodyguard Z.

Further still, you remember collecting all the crystals, and confronting the Benefactor who turned out to be Nalar, the God of Time and Tides. You remember that he was attempting to build a machine that could kill a God, but before he could, Leont, the God of Battle and Blaze, appeared and engaged him in combat, allowing you to escape. All these recent memories swirl around your head, but then you remember something even further back. You remember performing a sword dance for Prince Aster in the high court of Ilavos.

You squirm from a top-your-rock as you relive the moment where your foot slips. What did you slip on? Sweat? Jam? No. No, it couldn't have been jam. Nevertheless, you slipped on something and as you did, your blade nicked the young Elven boy's shoulder. The child's father's album and bleaker recoil and shock, then call for their guards as your whole body seizes with panic.

Go ahead and give me an insight roll. 10. 10. Ten. Ten. Jens, it feels less like you're having very specific dreams about your past, and more like someone is rooting around in your mind, trying to find something. It's the crapster. You do feel crabby little legs rustling around in your brain. We should have ended it when we had the chance, brother.

Honestly, it's nice to just have something that's not a worm. I'm sweeping extra worms into Jens's mouth right now. Niac, as you sleep, you remember seeing your mother and father and getting to meet the silverback of your village, who revealed to you that he was one of the aspects of Nadas. Paragons of Virtue selected by the God to keep the realm of Gennarak safe in ancient times. You also recall Onyx's mother, Graffite, giving you a special concoction to help you control the strange parasite within your stomach, and gain a mastery over jam. This pleasant memory only lasts a moment, though, and as it fades, you are thrust further back. To the day you first moved to the city of Vénelar.

You were all alone, wandering the streets in search of your half-brothers' home. But instead of him, you found a group of city gorillas. Encouraged by faces from home, you sought to befriend them. But as soon as you approached, they leapt forward and began mercilessly attacking you. As they root through your small, satchel, in search of gold, you curl into a ball and dream of the jungle, hoping that this harsh trial

will bring you one step closer to your dream of being the silverback. Nack, why don't you also give me an insight check? Of course. 18. 18. Nack, while you're stuck in this dream lying on the ground getting your shit absolutely wrecked. There's nothing in the satchel.

Assholes. It's gotta be a secret pocket or something. Come on, keep looking. I packed very light. He's got all these ritsy tattoos. He's got to have money on him. My brother will provide for me. He's very well to do.

As these gorillas taunt you and just kick you over and over again, you see a strange figure out of the corner of your eyes. It's a man clad in crystal and armor. His head is obscured, but on his face, you see a smile so large it causes the sides of his mouth to crack and blister. Onyx. Mm. You remember being with Keith,

spending time in the golden hand of his massive techno man. Oh, it does not miss hands, they treat you so right. You do all in this memory for a moment, another moment, another moment still. Onyx masturbated. Not in the pile of bags, huh? What? I set up a barrier. I set up a clear masturbation barrier.

I've turned my back and I'm sweeping facing the wall. Then your brain abruptly shifts gears and you remember seeing your mother again. Reborn as a dry ad of the vineyard. You remember hearing about her work deciphering the God-stall virus and her search for the hidden god. You also remember battling Jin's half-uncle rest, and finally learning the name of the voice that has whispered in your ear ever since you found that shard. Verless.

And then, you remember something far worse. You remember your mission to the nomelands, where you first met Keith. You were both after the same artifact, and your bitter rivalry soon blossomed into a sweet romance. Eventually you made your way into the layer of the mad clockwork queen. Keith was about to recover the artifact, but then got captured by the royal guard. The queen ordered his execution, but then something awoken you. The crystal's whisper became too strong, and you whipped forward your flail, killing the mad queen in a single strike.

The queen's children gasped in horror, and as the guard's spear went to your throat, a wicked grin cracked across your face. How would have our finest moments? Now, you've had your fun, but it's high time. You pay me what you owe. So please, kill your friends and bring the crystals to me. Go ahead and roll me a Christmas check. Christmas saving throw, rather. Okay. I am proficient in this, so. Your proficient and I'll let you roll it with advantage because you have a packed

as a social sorcerer as well. I just got a 27. Oh boy. I roll an 18 and I have plus nine. You return to masturbating. Oh, I'm so relieved. Onyx you find a happy place, you think of Keith and you get through this. You are able to resist Verlis's sinister pull.

I will only ever use your power to save my friends and never to hurt them. Who's using who in this situation? You must ask yourself. It's not who's using who, but who's using zoo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yet again, you threaten me with this radio show. I'm real not. This is not the world. I am fighting for

It makes your morning go by so quick. I hate it Oh on its side love are little chats and I'm looking forward to watching you break Just remember you may have resisted me now But you're in my world. I have, I have the voices of thousands, hundreds of thousands of followers who speak louder than you, saying things like, good post. You think you are more powerful than the admiration of strangers You do that weird laugh that you do when you're in a dream and you try and talk and it just comes out kind of like Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You can see there are no bugs anywhere near you brother. Yes, because I think I ate most of them. He possibly.

I will come clean to both of you and say that Verlis attempted to use me for his benefit in the evening. And if we are down there and he continues to try to use me, you may have to kill me. Okay, okay, brother, you, for shame yourself. That's true, you job, I was assuming I was going to talk you into the comfort of killing me, but you got there real quick.

Yeah, so if, Anax, if that's what you need, please not what she, no, brother. Yeah, this was supposed to be a moment where I, where you say, no, we would never kill you, we love you. And then I'm just confused because she said that she wanted Nayak, what am I missing here? What she did was noble. It proves she's worth saving, brother.

Okay. For you, I cannot say the same thing. Okay. Okay. All right, Onyx, we will try our absolute best. Stop qualifying it, please. I can't see it. You're creating a permission structure to kill her.

I can see it. She brought the crabster. We'll try our best. Clearly, her judgment is already off. She's gone bad. Okay, I was, see, I was relying on the power of friendship to sort of help me ignore the lore of the crystal skull, but maybe I will just turn to my followers instead.

Followers over friendship, I might deflect a little bit, but Onyx, I would like for you not to go mad. That was the biggest thing my brothers ever done. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, are you going to puke? I'm just saying You hate a lot of worms. I find a chance but he ate a lot of worms If I had to choose between you being alive or you being dead, I would On most days choose a lot. I put out a terrarium to catch whatever worm he pukes up. Oh wow a buddy

I stopped it. Oh goodbye friend! I have too many friends now. Ah, after that beautiful awkward moment. What else would you like to do? Are you ready to proceed down? I think I am ready. Onyx, we will stick together like jam and we won't let you go to the dark side. We won't let you slip. I think I would like to cast my armor of Agathus and put a sort of crystalline shield, pastel crystalline shield around myself. Did you say Agathus or Amathus? Oh, you're right.

Instead of armor of Agathus, it's armor of amethyst. Hell yeah. What does that do? So essentially, this is a protective magical force to round you manifesting a spectral amethyst that covers you and your gear. You gain every spell I cast is at a fifth level because I'm a warlock.

So I gain 25 temporary hit points. And if anyone hits me when I have any of the temporary hit points, they take 25 damage. Fuck yes, that is very cool. And that's for an hour. So for the next hour I have this. You don this beautiful amethyst plate and proceed towards the elevator with your friend wearing a long coat and your other friend who is shirtless. friend wearing a long coat and your other friend who is shirtless. Wonderful. We look so good together. The triplets. So yeah, you get up to this elevator. Again, there's only this down button.

You swallow your pride. You swallow all the fears that dwell within you and you press this down button. Nothing happens. Maybe there's a slight bit of static electricity discharged. But other than that, the doors swing open. Well, shall we? Nayak? Indeed. And as I step in, I'll pass, pass without trace on us. Just in case. Whoa! Hell yeah. All right, cool. So you get inside. You see that this elevator is actually pretty large. There's actually some chairs, a little table. It's kind of like a nice little living room area. You're not sure why it's so furnished until you look up at the floor indicator above the door and realize that it reads 22,000. Oh, as soon as the door is closed, you see that it clicks down to 21,999. And then after a few minutes,

it clicks down to 21,998. And you proceed slowly down towards the periphera. We absolutely should have slept in here. We were covered in words last night. All right, I take a quick short rest to get my spell slot back. I'll do it too. You do see that there are some beds in the air.

Ha, good one. Thank you. All right. Oh, it got kind of lost in the, you know, me being a good friend. That was huge if you'd rather. Proud. Thank you so much. You honor yourself.

I appreciate it. It's really noble gesture. But I also had strange dreams to win. Do you guys remember it was a really small thing when I stabbed a prince by accident? I totally, yeah, I think most people had forgotten, but that's right. I think foratin', but not that you say it,

you stabbing someone by accident does sound really familiar. And no big deal, no big deal, everyone's cool. Again, it's like top of my Google results, but I feel like if I could just get featured in a little bit more of the sort of transfer graph post, we might be able to push it back. Yes, maybe, we'll table that. But I had a memory of me when I slipped, We might be able to push it back. Yes, maybe. We'll table that.

But I had a memory of me when I slipped, and it seemed like somebody was going through my memories. So we may all be being influenced in some strange way. Yes, as long as we're all coming clean, I had my ass kicked by a bunch of gorillas my first day when I moved to the city and In looking back through my memories. I saw a sinister man with a large smile Was he also a gorilla? He was I couldn't tell his face was obscured, but I don't believe so

Okay, so this is all the doing of furlifts. Oh, I can't believe he's gotten into your brain So perhaps we all must make a pact that we will kill each other I may not be the only bond he is trying to use. I think I put my hand on Niax shoulder. I shudder. Niax and I are our brothers. So if you feel you have to kill me you could always just kill I recover. I blink for a really long time. Okay, whoo. Yeah, this is a lot this burlis. So as you make this beautiful pact together, this kill me. Very lopsided suicide pact. She killed my egg. If I didn't meet her, not, go crazy. And to kill addicts, if she goes crazy. But other no circumstances, does anyone hurt you? Kill his proxy.

Just as Niaq is going, wait, what? The indicator above the door clicks all the way down to one and then ground and smoothly settles to a halt. Okay. The doors grind open and give you your first glimpse at the Grey Chaos of the periphera, the Grey House. I will lip at my phone for this. Spralling out before you are the crumbling remains of a long dead city.

Jagged skyscrapers reach out towards a sealed gray sky that flickers with false stars. To the right of the city, you see an impossibly large support beam rising up to meet one of the vertices of the massive metallic cube that surrounds this entire plane. You realize that the world you know, Trinavale, is actually just a hollow cubic shell, and that the periphera is its core. Before we exit, I would like to cast my armor of amethyst on myself. Okay, we can say that you added up still from the short rest. Let's find out. I'll let you get the slot rest. Let's find out. I'll let you get the slot back.

It's all right. Okay. So are you ready to proceed? My hand is hovering over the door closed button. I would like to do sort of perception check just to see if we're going to walk out and something is going to scurry and try to buy this. Cool. I got the tin.

I'll do it too. Shout out to the two crew. Good got the tin. I'll do it too. Shout out to the two crew. Good lord. 14. 14. Jens, your eyesight adjusts most quickly to the darkness around you. You see this big, dead city.

You see these massive pillars. You can see one close to you. And then you can see one further away in the distance. But the thing that your eye is drawn to most quickly is this massive bone-white tower that appears to be at the center of the city. It kind of rises up even taller than all the skyscrapers surrounding it, and at its tip a flame pulses with a scarlet light Almost beckoning you towards it. Is anyone else being beckoned by the bone tower? Um, am I? Going to me an insight roll beckoned by the bone tower sounds pretty sinister

So honest be prepared to kill me if it comes to that I got 11. An 11. Yeah, you absolutely feel a tug. As this crystal flame pulses, you feel your feet almost involuntarily step forward. I do not wish to complicate this situation, but I am S.O.L. Beckoned by the Bone Tower. I go where my brother goes, but am I back in by the bone tower as well? Give me an insight as well.

That's a 13. 13, you're most definitely back in by the bone tower, which is of course the name of a very weird puriferiporno. I want to enter the bone tower. There's a lot of loot posters around here. I think that we must hope the Crabs there will save us all. Shall we? Holy shit, where are we? What is this?

This seems bad. I should have put another drink, Tom. I put the Crabs to an elevator and get it. I'm supposed to have let it. Okay. Oh, I ran the one. No! I'm not a Chris! I'm post athletic! Okay! Oh, I ran the one. Okay, I got a... I got a nine.

Alright, Onyx, you rescue the crabster. Rescue. Do not let the beckoning of the bone tower turn you against your friends. I'm so sorry, I must have taken it. Alright, it seems like that's kind of the place to bring the crystals, so let's sneak up to the bone tower. You all have pass without trace, so you're adding plus ten.

Great, so as you enter this Skyless City, you notice that your path is lit in several spots by glowing pastel crystals. They sprout from the ground like weeds, creep along the walls of buildings, and dangle mockingly from abandoned traffic signals. Suddenly, the crystals all bristle in sway, as if caught by a playful breeze, which is strange because the air here is totally still. Everybody give me a wisdom saving throw. Oh boy.

Okay, I'm proficient. Ooh, that's gonna be a 26 Veronica. 26, that's awesome. That's a dirty 20 for Nia and I got a 19 all right Um as you're watching these crystals wave in the wind you feel this Sharp raspy laughter rustles through your mind and causes your psyche to shiver It's like a wind but within your own brain. You all take three psychic damage.

Yikes. I want to pull everybody in for a huddle and I go, okay team, this dude is trying to get to our heads, but he can't affect what is not there. And I give everybody a bardic inspiration. Oh! I thought you were gonna cast some kind of spell that made us.

Oh, weaker. No, I'm just saying we're dumb. Yeah. Thank you so much, Jen. What is your bardic? Is it a D8 or a D10? It's a D10. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

So that will help hopefully on the wisdom saving throws. I unfortunately cannot inspire myself because I'm depressed. But it only makes my art better. The Crabster wakes up and says, hey, you have value. Believe in yourself. I immediately begin weeping. Shut up, you annoying little. Let me carry the crabs. Yes, you're going to take the crabster, Bindle. Fine, whoever carries it, keep it in the Bindle for Christ's sake.

I prefer the Bindle. It's darker in there. Restrained by the Bindle. All right, so you wrap up the crabster. Are you headed deeper into the city? Is that your plan? To the bone tower. I think so your plan? To the bone tower. I think so. Going straight to the bone tower. The bone home.

Bone home. Fantastic. So currently, you're in what seems to be the outer industrial ring of the city. You see factories and warehouses constricted by thick, writhing tangles of chimneys and pipes. But as you venture closer into the city, things switch from industrial

to a little more executive. You see ash and skyscrapers sprout up on all sides, you see the ruined visages of once thriving storefronts, and you also see a few posters on a long dead video store advertising some very weird bone tower themed pornos Some of these look tasteful. I've seen some of these in your studio. Just me. I The arts Nayak which ones point to them Nayak? It was this art film this art film and this art film, and this art film.

Okay, you know, collections are art. Collections are art. Regardless of... I second that. What's the collection is of? I see, the mere act of curation is what makes something art. Interesting. Thank you.

I didn't know we lived in an art gallery, but I'm honored, brother. Interesting. Thank you. I didn't know we lived in an art gallery, but I'm honored, brother. And guys, I actually have something that I have not used yet, but I've had some sixth level that I think will actually be quite helpful. I have counter charm. At sixth level, I gain the ability to use musical notes or words of power to disrupt mind-influencing effects. As an action, I can start a performance that lasts until the end of my next turn. So during that time, you and any friendly creatures within 30 feet of you have advantage on saving those against being frightened or charmed. You must be able to hear me to gain this benefit. Performance ends early if I'm incapacitated or silenced.

So since you're dancing, we have to hear you dancing, right? We need to hear you flat. I'm doing a tap. I put on my tap shoes and I begin doing an inspiring counter charm tap as I west side story through the city. An underrated medium of dance. When you're a gen, you're a gen, so the world. And I snagged on his phone during this and I pressed record, but I accidentally double-tapped.

So I recorded, stopped recording. You did the full thing and then I pressed record again at the end. As I'm heaving with that. Yeah, we get a baby boy. And I act, he will be a famous brother. Yes, I need, I need a lecture light. I feel like my skin is really salo right now. Your reputation will be restored, absolutely.

Why don't you give me another perception check while you are watching Jin's tap dance. I like to think that you are fascinated at first, but then the dance drags on, so you look around a little bit. Four. He was sweating a lot. 18.

18. I got a seven. And I am moving. I'm tap dancing as we're going. Okay, great. So Jins, I think you're like tap dancing, you're spinning around, you're like swinging off of lamp post and whatnot.

You're falling. Singing in the rain. This is like a off of lamp post and whatnot. You're falling, singing in the rain. This is like a really like old school parkour. So as you do this, as you spin around, you notice something off to the corner off on like a little side street. Tucked away and it's the the grim power of this ancient city. You spot something familiar. It's a vending machine, but not just any vending machine.

It's a Delurio's Curio's vending machine. And strangely enough, it seems to be partially stocked. Huh. I start tapping suspiciously. Do you want to investigate it a little bit? Yeah. Cool. I think I'm OK.

I ate yesterday, but if we want to swing by. You need to eat several times every single day. Every single day. This is why you're sick. Yes. Oh, this does bring up a good point. We did have Niac do a salad check last episode. That's right.

To boost his conscore, because I believe your conscore is zero, you successfully chopped down some salad, and you got one success. Do you want to give me another constitution save as you choke down some salad? Oh god, kale, it's just so it's so hard to chew. You have to do it for such a long time. You need to prepare that kale better, massage it with oil. It really needs to be massaged, but that's a 14. That is another save. If you get one more save, your con will be boosted by one and your stomach will regain some sense of normalcy.

Wow, my parasite and I really appreciate it. Ha ha ha. It's not so bad. I think it's just your preparation. I think the message of this is for you to sort of sever the relationship with a parasite. I thought I was trying to bolster him. You're trying to strengthen the parasite.

Okay, I stand on it. I got a 15 on investigate. Awesome. I actually got an 18 on investigate. Oh, perfect, great. So I think with a 15 on an 18, you see the machine is like a little dusty, but you also notice that there is a power cord

around the back next to an outlet. I charge my phone. Charge your phone, you're at one second. 74% battery. This is very good for me. That's aspirational. So by charging your phone, you realize that this is not a trap. This is just a normal power outlet. So if you want to plug in this vending machine, you can. Oh. Well, I plug in the vending machine.

Great. You plug it in and it lights up and now that it's a lit, you can see inside. Welcome to the Loyo. You see three potions labeled diet sleep. You also see a sprite, a sprite cranberry, and an oddly new looking bag of Butterfinger Bebees. I have written on my thing 64 gold. I think that's maybe revenue from ads I'm assuming. Yes, it's probably that, but then also it is money from your work for the benefactor.

Okay, I would like to buy the Butterfinger Bebees and a diet sleep. Okay, cool would like to buy the Butterfinger babies and a diet sleep. Okay. Cool. You buy those without any problem. How much does it cost? I'm gonna say you have enough to buy whatever you need out of this thing.

Okay. Should we just buy the stock here? It seems like there's not too much. Okay, yeah. Let's do it. Well, buy everything. Great. Yeah, why not?

Even the Sprite cranberry, are you positive? Actually, it's Sprite cranberries, sort of my favorite type of sprite. I don't know if that's unpopular, but... I like it, it's a fizzy thanksgiving. Thank you. Yeah. Finally, something we can agree on. I didn't know we had tension, Jen.

I sighed ionics as I... I did. ...as a tintly, poor half of of the sprite cranberry I kicked the back of his I Collapse and spill the sprite crab everywhere. Oh, this is hard to find that all grocery stores have this on it for a reason brother You you do look at the sprite cranberry bottle and you see that it is like a commemorative holiday edition from God knows how many years ago. It's got like a little turkey on the side

wearing sunglasses. Oh, it was being like crammed the cram. Cran, the cram. This is the 1994 campaign. So what did we pick up from this vending machine so I can write it down? You picked up three diet sleep potions. The way those work is they let you instantly restore half of your hit dice. It's basically an amulet and a can.

Ooh, a cannula. Canula. You got a new bag of butter finger BBs and a sprite and a sprite cranberry. And those don't do anything. They just are there for flavor. Yeah, literally. Literally they are for flavor. Flavor. And the Butterfinger babies, you said they looked a little different, or did I mishear that?

No, they just look oddly new. Ah, oddly new. Yeah. The Venni machine has been stocked recently. So while you're all standing around this Venni machine, why don't you give me another wisdom save? This time with advantage because of Jen's tap dance, right? Tap beautiful.

Yeah. Oh, I needed it. I needed it. I needed it too. That's a 27 for me. I got a dirty 20. Wonderful. You do it only got an 11.

Oh! So, onyx, Nyak, you feel this laughing wind rush over you again, but you close your eyes and you see a tiny image of Jyn's tap dancing in your brain. And you focus on that Jyn's, you see him like tipping his hat, he starts doing a little dosido, he's running through like all the different dances. It's some mesmerizing. I would watch you at a cafe.

Jens tries to break dance in your brain and absolutely fails miserably. So then he tries to recover and starts tap dancing again. The recovery was beautiful. That was the all. I do a Willy Wonka style of all forward. It was seeing how effortless it looked when he did it and how much effort it obviously took at the end when he heaved. And so you two are saved by your brother's beautiful dancing prowess and only take four points of psychic damage. Oh dear. But Jens, unfortunately, it seems

you expended a little too much energy on your dance and you let your mental guards down. And you are going to take 10 points of psychic damage, as well as a madness effect. Oh! Yeah, you see. Alright, why don't you roll a D100 for me? You hate to see it, folks? Um, man. Your boy's gone mad.

Absolute mad lad over here. You hate to see it, folks? Oh, man. Your boy's gone mad. Absolute mad lad over here. Seven. Seven. Okay, all right. The character experiences vivid hallucinations and has disadvantage on ability checks. Fuck.

That sounds kind of fun though, you know, a little bit. What do you see? What do you see, brother? Tell us about your little bit. What do you see? What do you see brother? Tell us about your hallucinations. What do you mean brother? Ron walking around, marrying my mom and stuff. What's your deal? I always start pushing that.

Hey, I'm not wrong, though. And what about you, Ron? I look over at Onyx. You married on on too. Sometimes it's just nice to be included, thank you. Ron's cool. Yeah, it is nice to be included, thank you. Ron's cool. Yeah, it is nice to be included in our family, right? You think you can just come in and marry someone 40 years after their husband's head gets chopped off?

It's a reasonable amount of time. Can I disguise self to be Ron? I mean, you are already Ron in Jen's mind when he looks at you he hallucinates Ron. Is there something you want to say to him? I love you, Jens. Even if you hate me the more you hate me the more I love you because it shows that you need the love. That's classic Ron.

Wow. And then I hug, I hug Jens. As you do this you see an army of rons nearby just all applauding and crying. Great speech, me love speech, beautiful. I just want you to know that one of the things I love about your mother is how much she loves you. Okay, okay, Ron, well, I like my mom obviously, but you are a different story fine. This Ron is fine But you are the wrong all of you other wrong

You like so strong out eyes just so why instantly so sweaty you are the wrongs I put my finger in my X face You're all the problem. I I put my finger in my X face You're all the problem. I Gens I I make very pleasant love to your mother This Ron beats up that Ron Would you say what you say about me wife?

Yeah, you tell his bread as a bit of a week now? Kick his ass, Ron was. I thought it would be cool. Them's fighting words. You see all the Ron's, like Agent Smith and the Matrix, just start like fighting each other. They're just like a Ron battle going on. I'm just arbitrarily picking Ron's that I root for. You see an army of false rons battling, and you are slowly losing your mind.

You're getting the run around. I just... Run, run, run, run, run, we got it. We got it. I just hold Ron one's hand and just look forward with it out there. This Ron, right? Yeah, Ronx.

Yeah. Ronx is hand. Yeah, Ronx. Yeah. Ronx? I hold Ronx's hands. We just want. You're the only good Ron. I love you, son. I love you, Ron one. All right, so you take Ronx by the hand.

Nighock, do you also take Ronics's hand? I'm gonna follow and back sheepishly, because I put my foot very firmly in my mouth. I keep looking back and hissing at Nye. I pet Jen's head maternally. Paternally. So yeah, you grab Ronics's hand and you slowly make your way deeper into the city. As you do, as you're proceeding further into this inner ring,

you hear a few voices cry out, a few non-Ron voices cry out. Help! Help us! Help! I know! Help! Please we are in trouble! Are these norms? Help! Yes! Can you hear us? We are norms! Oh! We must save them! I would like to do... Actually I would like to do an inside check to make sure it is not false norms. Okay go ahead and roll an inside. Fomes. I only got a five but I actually think this is maybe an important role. Mm-hmm. I can be giving you the hell of action, because I'm...

Okay. ...hanging out with Bronix. Heh heh heh. Okay, well that one is actually worse, so... Mm. I can do an inside check as well. Okay. Sure, yeah, go ahead.

That's a net one. Heh heh. Yikes. Y'all, these gnomes are in trouble. All right, let's just go with it. Haha. Everyone, do you want to be a hero? Did you come here to show the world something?

Yes. These gnomes need us. I did come here to prove something to specifically a very small group of people, but yes. Oh, my tiny legs, they are trapped on the Oasis Roppel. You must help me. Okay, I run to the Nomes. You run to the Nomes, you round this corner into this little back alley spot, and you see one Nome's explorer with their legs crushed under this big pile of rubble, and then another

little gnome, like desperately trying to free their friends. Oh, come on, hey, now you can do this. I go help them. I am here, Existing on ex weights those two runs they're bad ones I'm going to not take anything you say seriously you do see two tiny runs one is stuck under this rubble the others trying to pull it out me me free me, me free you, me free you. Come run, me save you. We must go home to beautiful wife.

Okay, I go. That's my mother. I go try to pick, I go try to pick up the rubble. I'm gonna cover, can I cover them in jam? So they slide out easily. Oh, you wanna use a jam point to cast grease? Yeah, why don't I, I'll grease up one of these gnomes great, so you Oh, that's that's one way to do it as opposed you you grease up this gnome

And slide it out go ahead and give me a jam roll Jam roll is just a just a D20 roll and if you get a one then something happens That's a 16 perfect you're good. Jam threshold increases to 2. Cool, so you slide this gnome free and you set him down on his feet. You see these two gnome look really... Huh, thank you so much! You've made this so easy for us!

Oh, I see. It's like I knew it was going to happen, but of course I had to go. Okay. It's like I knew it was going to happen, but of course I had to go. Okay. Your trust and love of gnome shall be your downfall. I never trusted you, Ron. Just so you know, I already knew that all so. Uh, you see the skin on these gnome's faces just sloughs off off revealing a wretched body of feathers and flesh

underneath. Two hideous pigeons with jagged crystals coming out of their eyes emerge. They flap their wings, the last remaining bits of this gnomish flesh being freed from them, and they shriek and start attacking you. Everybody roll initiative. Does Gen see flying rons? Ha, ha, you do. You'd see like two harpy rons.

Ah! Everybody roll initiative. Ooh-hoo-hoo. Yeah, baby. Ooh. A 15 for Onyx. That is a 19. 23.

Oh boy. You roll for these two pigeons. All right. So unfortunately, because you are trusting dopes, the pigeons are going to get a surprise round on you. Okay. So you see these two pigeons, again, they're like very rady looking, their feathers are falling out. They are city pigeons.

These are gritty city pigeons. Stout is hell. You see in the places where their feathers have fallen out, crystal ones have grown in their place, and these massive chunks of crystal peer out of their eyes, and you almost see like crystalline tears pouring out of their faces slowly. You are beautiful, you don't have to do this in another world. I would add you to my menagerie. We have free birds, we shall live, we shall fly, we do not wish to be in a terrarium.

Okay, this is fair. We shall peck we shall fly, we do not wish to be in a terrarium. Okay, this is fair. We shall peck you to death! Ha ha ha! You do it against your own castle in the terrarium. Ha ha ha! A castle, you say? Can we eat it? Is it a castle of seeds?

Oh, you're so many seeds. If all you care about is seeds, she has those two. All Ron cares about his seeds. Choose seeds are our family Ron I'm still holding Jens's hand you see these two full breasted Ron Harpies gaze at you Jens and go me pick your brains out

son this is really gonna give him a complex Ronic save me. Okay, I'm gonna go in and roll attack. Let's see, who are they gonna go for? I guess I'll go for, Jens, you were probably hanging back because you're terrified of while. Yeah, I was in there like trying to take the rubble

from them. Yeah, I'll say they're gonna hit at Niaq and Onyx. Okay. Even after I did do the honor of covering you in jam, sir. You do see that this pigeon has not been able to successfully shake off all the jam, so they are not going to be able to fly as a result of that. So like you have greased one pigeon and prevented it from escaping. That's a greasy bird. I am. That was beautiful. Manuver, how did you know they were not actually gnomes? Um, I must be honest. I thought they were gnomes. We are gnomes! We are city pigeons and you are full of tasty, tasty seeds!

That is going to be a nine to hit onyx and a 15 to hit niac. Ooh, that misses. Alright, oh, so they both flap their wings and rush towards you in the surprise attack. Oh fuck, it's the surprise attack. I didn't roll advantage on those. Excuse me one moment. Well, one of them got a Natt one, but the other one got a 16. Does that hit you, Nyeak? 16 also does not hit.

Wow. You see this grease-stuffed pigeon rushing towards you, desperate to disembowel you and get at those tasty seeds in your belly. I have no seeds. I smell kale. That, okay, that is in there. Kale grows from seeds. Kale, it's just big seeds. You see it rushes towards you, but it's so greased up, it slides right past. Onyx, the other one just fully trips. Cool, and that brings us two jins. I just scream and charge the winged Ron

I'll just make a three Attacks you want play catch with me son. No All you care about is seeds Me love seeds 24 on the first attack That is going to hit sweet 17 on the second attack just hits, that is going to hit. Sweet, 17 on the second attack. Just hits. Great.

Uh, and then offhand is a 24. Wow. Okay, those all hit. Sweet, so I hit three times. 27 damage. 27 damage. Woo! Great. Uh, you slash into this Ron Bird.

You see some of its crystal feathers fall off and shatter to the ground. UGH! UGH! You must have so many seeds! If you're unable to fight so ferociously, I shall claim those seeds! UGH! This adds up because you're a bad guy in your rod, but I don't remember you being this obsessed with seeds. I keep looking back at Ronx for approval.

I nod, I give him all the approval he needs. Oh, beautiful. Oh, uh, Jens, which one did you hit? Did you hit the greasy one or the normal one? I hit whichever one would have to Ronx. Okay, uh, that was the, yeah, the non-greasy one. I love that you're staying true to the roleplay. Yeah.

He's like, I would defend that Ron. I'm defending my father, good Ron. Cool, so that brings us to Nyaak. Okay, I'm gonna use my monical, so I get advantage on a declared foe. Great. And I will declare the Grisi flightless bird as my declared foe. And I will also cast Hunter's Mark as a bonus action. Awesome. Niaq, with the honor of Rana for behind you, you declare this greasy disgusting bird your

eternal foe and I only got a 17, does that? That does hit! Yes! So that is a whopping eight damage. Oh, but I get to add a D6. 12 damage. Take that, you burry. Do you only have one attack? I get a second attack. Great. Oh, wait, don't you have a multi attack or a ball? That's right, I do.

So the second attack is a 22 to hit. That hits, and that is another 12 damage. And if that other bird is flying within 10 feet of the flightless bird, I get a attack on him or them. I did say that the bird without grease tripped over the greasy bird, so they are close enough together. So just double checking that's 24 damage for the greasy bird, or is that 24 for each of them?

That's 24 damage just for the greasy bird. Okay, so I will make my attack on the non-gracy flying bird. Okay, that's only a 12. Only a 12, that misses. This bird is so squeaky clean that it's crystals blind you temporarily and you miss fire. I flip it off. I'm at least going to do that.

You give the bird the bird. Ironic! I'm gonna do that. You give the bird the bird. Ironic! Ronic indeed. Ironic. I'mronic. I'm e-ronic. I'm writing this all down. It all makes sense.

Ironic. It is ironic that someone would bury my mom. But also to be Ron would be Ick. Thank you. Me love eating seeds and putting my would bury my mom. But also to be Ron would be Ick. Thank you. Me love eating seeds and putting my seed inside my wife. How dare you. Oh, I tried to go down this road and it didn't work.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Translightly. Aw, please. He brings in these bad Ron's, Ron's, Ron's, healthy sexual relationship. It is OK. You have good Ron here. Alright, so these two birds, squeaky and greasy are gonna attack you now.

Let's see, I think that one of them is going to try and cast a spell. You see that greasy, since they have lost the power of flight, is gonna try and get the upper hand on the one that greased them by casting a charm person. Oh no. So, Niaq, I'm gonna need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Remember you have a bardic inspiration if you need it. Okay. Not 20.

Yeah. Oh. Oh. You're not gonna get my head burned. For a moment, Niaq, you think maybe I am just a big bag of tasty seeds, but then you realize no. You are a boy. I have a boy. I'm Ron's son. You're the proud son of Ron, and you shall triumph this day. The pigeon. No! how did you do that? And then the other one goes and they are going to attack Jens this time what's?

Defend the be jens me love you me want to pet your heart This could be really good for my relationship with jens if I just constantly disguise myself as his stepfather, but ask act really loving Jens does a 20 hit it would if I didn't cast shield. Oh! Oh! 23. You see this stone hard, Ron beak reach out but you throw up a magical shield at the last moment.

You see this sharp beak reaching towards you. Me love you son, me love you. Me want to eat you. But then you throw it back and you take no damage. I knew you wanted to eat me. No brother. All right, man, y'all are resisting these devious birds. That's gonna be onix's turn.

Okay, I will exploit curse the non-gracy one and I will take my first attack. Okay. There's a 23 hit. That hits. Okay, so I am also going to use a spell slot to do my Eldritch smite, which is an extra 68. Yowza! Wow. So that is now and since he hasaped Curse, it's plus four, so 45 damage. Oh my god. On my first attack. On your first attack, my god.

Yeah, you slice into this thing and just kind of flash fry it a little bit. You see like a charred fried flesh where your mall just tears into this thing. Easy still standing. Barely. OK. And I will go after him again.

Does it? 22 hit. That does hit. This time, only 16. Onyx, this squeaky clean pigeon is at dirty death's door. Ah, I wish I'd killed him so I could steal him. Okay. I see it.

The golden seeds. I shall be there. I shall dive in the seeds. I shall live amongst the seeds. Follow the golden seeds. That is my advice. Go to them. All right, and that brings us back to Jins.

I'll send you to the seeds in Hellron. Ah! and that brings us back to Jin's. I'll send you to the seeds in Hell, Ron! Ah! Ah! And I take that attack against the one that's super hurt. 18 to hit on the first attack, that hits nine damage. Jin's finished this Ron. Um.

Just stab, stab him, ground by the neck, put him to the ground, and just weep as I punched him in the face. Me son, me no, me could never be as good. You're not my dad, my dad doesn't have a head, but you have a head, explain that wrong. That was so good, That was so good. You killed that guy because he was an imposter, right? Not because he was wrong. Jens, that was beautiful. Ron is so proud of you.

I look towards Ronx and give an insane nod. And then I give a threatening look to Niaq and the other Ron Harpy that I see. After I finish, just went off with wings, your next. As long as I'm third, that's fine. Sun, maybe we go to family counseling. Huh? Maybe that's what we do, huh?

Smash, smash, smash. I stop to attack, so I'll take the other ones on. Beautiful. The one that Niaq is fighting. Ooh, shout out to the two crew in the next one. Ooh. Missed a big time. And that's a 27 on the offhand attack.

That hits. Great. Ooh, that's a one on a damage, so that's just seven damage. Seven damage? Ah! On the greasy one. You sort of get stuck in the grease a little bit, but you do manage to get through the feathers

and into flesh a little bit. Not much. All right, Nyak. I'm gonna use my monocle and shoot at my declared foe. Great. That is a 23 to hit. That hits. And that is 18 damage.

18 damage. And I'll shoot my second arrow. Yeah. I'll kill this Ron brother and then there will be no more evil Ron's left. Only good Ron's. I'm not good Ron's. I'm certainly not your brother. I'm not your son.

My step dude, I respect your mom. That's a 19 hit. That's more like it. Now you're speaking my language. 13 damage. 13 damage. Okay. This crystal pigeon is starting to look a little scared.

You see that it shits a big pile of crystals in fear. But it's like real, runny, milky white crystals. Ooh. But that brings it to this Pitchin's turn. So they are going to do their best to not slip in their shit as they attack you, Niaq. Of course. This is bad brown versus a good brown.

Look at this. That is a natural one. Yeah. They absolutely eat it on their own shit. Oh, seeds. They find some old seeds in their shit and start licking them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I too have problems with stability. Yummy! Cool, that's their turn.

That's great. Onyx is back around to you. Okay, how fucked up does this pigeon look? Not on Death's Door, but still got some fight left in it. Okay, I will attack him. Does a 28 hit. 28, very much hits. I took superior packed weapon. So now I have a plus 11 to my attack bonus.

Whoa. That will be 16 damage. And I think I'm going to go ahead and do another eldritch smite with that So that's 40. Do you say 40 damage? 40 damage unbelievable Onyx killed this bird. Wow

I hand them to Jen's I Ronx and this Ron to Jen's do not listen to the false Ron my son do not listen me son This is not only tells you honey lies. This is no false Ron It is a false Ron and that's why we kill this wrong That truthfully I am also a false Ron, but I'm a nice false Don't say that about yourself, Ron. Jens, me get Nick's tickets for us. Me take you to see the basketball boys.

I'm a Denver Nuggets fan. You know that. You didn't grow up anywhere near their brother. Jens, I can't get enough of them. Do you like the color better? I start to see everybody as the Denver Nuggets. I can't get enough of them. Do you like the color better? I start to see everybody as the Denver Nugget. When did we go to Colorado, Dad?

With tears in your eyes, you slam dunk on this bird and chop it's head off. And with that, these two city pigeons are defeated. Yes. Great. Alright, well, Ron, too. I may have misjudged you. I saw you kill some other Ron, so I'm taking you from evil Ron to now we'll call you okay, Ron. As long as I am okay, Ron, me, me, love you, steps on on and me want you to hug your brother when you see him.

Okay, I appreciate that. Okay, Ron, but I already have a dad and I point to Onyx. Hi, Ronyx. Say, you know, if you don't want to hug your brother, that's fine. You know, do you? Because I love you. So whatever you want, you was right for me. I look at Onyx so wounded. I look at my neck and I'm like, I don't know. I just have not had positive attention from Jen so far, so this is her like a drug. Trust me, I know.

I piggyback ride on Alex's back. I need a moment, Jesus Christ. Oh, incredible. So, Jens, now that you have defeated these city pigeons, what do you and your two dads do? Well, shall we... I personally wouldn't mind a short rest. You guys, you need a short rest? Yeah. If we, if we can. Yeah, wouldn't mind a short rest. You can need a short rest?

Yeah. If we can. Yeah, I'll take a short rest. Yeah, why not? Shall we lay next to the rubble and shut our eyes for a moment? Yeah, just real quick, get some spells, lots back. Then we are back on the road. You can do a short rest, but I will say,

by doing the short rest, you do risk accruing another madness effect. Okay, let's just push it then. That's fine. Right everybody? What's... we're all fine. We're all good. Yes. I was just got, we'll keep moving. We'll keep moving. Okay, cool. So you keep moving. You brush the feathers and crystal remnants off of your bodies, and you press onward towards the center of the city. Press runward, baby.

Very funny, okay, Ron. Maybe I'll be fine-run soon enough. Is fine a promotion from okay? I don't know. It feels more resigned. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. So you all make your way through the inner ring and eventually you come upon a desert of

white stone. Long ago this might have been a public park but the lack of sunlight and the surplus of time has transformed this area into a waste land. The only thing that seems to grow here are the sinister clusters of pink and purple crystals, which have gotten larger and larger the closer you travel to the tower. And speaking of the tower, in the center of this desert, surrounded by a lake of living crystal, you see it. A tall ivory obelisk, topped by a glass structure that looks like a frozen crystal flame. At least, you think it's frozen. But every time you close your eyes, or look

away from it, the flames shape shiss. So you finally arrived. I hope you've enjoyed seeing the remnants of the dry and beautiful city. I'm afraid I've somewhat made my own. We enjoyed your vending machine and your weird birds. I'm afraid I have control over neither of those things. They are both invasive species here. Appending machinas and invasive species? A bit yes they just keep popping out I can't seem to control them. I would think a god of chaos would appreciate an invasive species. You know what you're right. I do enjoy that. You know what this is why why you're my lieutenant. You've got so many good ideas About how to mix things up. So why don't you come inside and we can discuss more ideas more plants more grand

strategies I definitely turn to both Jens and Naya can say I am Nadez Lutinin. Okay. I want you to understand that. I trust you. Bow before my lieutenant, salute your commander. Please don't. I'm going to listen to what Onyx says. But it sounds like you're inviting us into a brainstorm and I respectfully decline.

Thank you. It's going to be more of a scrum. We're starting a sprint and we need all hands on deck. Everyone get in here and scrum with me. Come to the scrum. I didn't want to do it when it was a brainstorm and I want to do it less so now. It's guys, it sounds like we're firing on all cylinders. Absolutely. The synergy is off the charts. Do you think we should go in or do you think we should try to bait them to come out here? And also, Jen, do you think that guy talking is Ron?

Oh, that's a good question. Okay, Ron. Yes, that was a different Ron. But I'm going to kind of go basing everything on because there seems to be some kind of strange Ron war here And I want to make sure that I'm on the right side Me and chaos Ron Okay, me invite you in Ronx Yes, yes my child is this Ron a good Ron or a bad Ron? This Ron we do not trust.

Okay. This Ron we wish to see perish. In this living crystal lake, you see a vessel rise up from the bottom. It's a small sailboat made of crystal. Whenever you're ready. Did that boat just reverse sink? Yes, isn't that wacky? That's really cool.

This is just the beginning of all the cool shit we could get up to. Um, okay, I think we should probably go meet with him. All right. I will admit, I like the boat trick. Not just that. Really, it just seems kind of fun to get on a boat. This Ron is a magician, it seems, which is not that far off from what I am, let's be honest.

I'm glad you and Ron are finding common ground for the existence. I tussle his hair. Could I do that? I wincent slap him away. You wound me. You wound me brother. There's some. Stop some. So you all hop in the boat? Yeah. Yeah. Great. You get in the boat? Yeah.

Great. You get in the boat and it slowly starts moving forward towards this tower. In the water you see jagged crystal sharks swimming idly below the surface. They regard you coldly but pay you no mind. On the other side of the lake you now see several hunched crystalline figures watching you from various hiding spots. Onyx, we even see Gorlow, the crystal minion you defeated in the attunement chamber, back in the Golden Irish society.

Put in a good word for me. Okay, I will, yeah. Just Gorlow, G-O-R-L. Cool. I have an exchange for a good word. If one of us goes down, you come in and hear us, huh? Give me a persuasion check. I will help.

I got a 14. Should I add my bardic inspiration to this? Ronx, do you want me to make my case? Yes, I do. Okay. Listen, you're going to have to do this with disadvantage. Oh, right. I do have really, listen, you're gonna have to do this with disadvantage. Oh, right. I do have really good persuasion though.

Listen, cluster Ron. Ron of the lake. Me and listening. We have our differences. You talk all the time about how you and my mom make tender love. And honestly, I said that one time. You said that one time. I don't love it.

The one of the ones with the wings said it too. When we were such about the Thoniac, it was really bad. Me, do you love putting me crystal dick inside me wife? Right. Knock it off. Knock it off. But you got to ruin it, brother. I think we're the Ron of us.

All for Ron. And Ron for all. But Ron, Ron of the lake, we need you in our hour of need in this war of the Ron's. When we must all put a line in the sand to decide what kind of Ron we are. And what kind of Ron are you, Ron of the lake? I'll do one more search and check with disadvantage. No one has deserved disadvantage.

One kind of man. What kind of runner are you? Instead of me rolling my burn against rage, and Jens comes in and says, I can handle that. I got with disadvantage. I'm such a good person. I got with this advantage, I have such good persuasion, I got a 19. Oh, wow. You see Gorlo peering from behind their crystal hiding place.

Me have been selfish. Me have been thinking only of Ron, when we should think of Ron instead. Yes. Now has come a challenge for Ron kind and me must rise. It would be my honor to serve you in battle. And you see this, Ron, runs from the shore where they were hiding, leaps and lands in your boat. And now you have this little crystal minion

at your back and call. Welcome, Lake Ron. All right, Ron of the Lake is here. Alright, we doing this. Let's go. Alright, fantastic. So, with another Ron into it's fucking Ron, y'all. You approach the tower.

Unlike the rest of the city, it seems to be preserved by some ageless arcane magic. And a grave sign about the doorway reads, Try and Tower, Museum and Archive, Closed Tuesdays.

No. Can I take out my phone to see what day it is? Go ahead and roll a D6. Six will be Saturdays Sunday. It's a one. Monday. It's Monday. Oh, thank God.

You're totally in the clear. We just squeaked it. Thank the crystals. Yeah, you see the doors open wide for you. Shall we? Thank God we didn't take that short rest. Yeah. You see Ron of the Lake looks up at you.

Shall we wait out here? I turned to Jens because this is his decision to make. Ron of the Lake. Ron men triumph when Ron men do nothing. Okay, me need a little more direction than that. I just nodded him and then I look at Ron X. Yes, come with us. Okay, honestly, I was somewhat confused. All right, so Gorlow, aka Rhonda the Lake, enters with you, and you enter this tower. Once inside, you see that the tower isn't segmented into floors, but is actually just one incredibly tall room.

On the wall to your right, a wide ramp spirals upwards. Along the wall of this pathway, you see several exhibits, retelling the long and storied history of the gods of Trinaville. But you barely notice those, because suspended in front of you, hanging from massive silver Silver chains is a crystal prison pulsing with pastel light. You gaze inside the crystal, and for the first time come face to face with the chaotic voice that has tormented your passage. Beneath the fractal latticework, a moon acymar in gleaming polygonal armor stares at you with a frozen grin. Cracks emanate from the corners of his mouth, revealing a furious, ruby light gleaming within.

So you have finally come. Please, join me. I would offer you something to eat, but I'm afraid my hands are tied. Oh dear. Quick, black counter charm. Quick. You've gotta go after him. I start... Dab dancing.

I cannot ruin the relationship of Ronx with you. Ronx, the time has finally come. You have brought the crystals to me. Now, I command you, use their power and free me from this prison. What are you going to do to me? I will elevate you from noot in it, to chinnarul, to queen. You will be as powerful as you desire. All you want, you shall have, and you shall stand by my side as we remake the world.

All the power I want is right here and I hold up my Instagram. What is that? It's called Trinstagram. I don't need power. I've got something called cloud. What is cloud? Some sort of ancient form of power. What is cloud? No, it's a very new form of power.

I have learned to wield it in ways you wish you knew. Boomer. I just don't get it. You're staring down all the time on if you should look up to the skies that you could rule. It's because I'm doing really fun face filters. Oh, sorry, yeah, you just watch TV all the time. Suddenly, that's... looking at your phone's worse. I love to kick back and watch the CVS.

Something like lineup was so wrong about that. New wood, boomeron, you wood. I love blue bloods. You do love blue bloods. You do love blue bloods, don't you? Perhaps I'm not explaining myself clearly. Okay. Maybe I should give you more of a pitch.

You've come all this way, I suppose. You deserved to understand my position a little better. Wouldn't you say? Yes. Hmm. Very well. This is a place of history after all. I suppose I should let you in on some of mine. I owe your friends this much before they perish beneath your wall. Oh, again, this is nothing I've agreed to. So as you stand before this crystal prison, Verlis laughs, this deep, rumbling laugh.

And as he does, the crystal pulses. Boom, boom, pulses, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, and you feel this prickling wind rush over you. And as it does, the world disappears, and you hear Verilis speaking clearly in your mind, no longer distorted by the layers of crystal and arcane magic holding him in place. No longer distorted by the layers of Crystal and Arcane magic holding him in place.

I believe the silverback told you about the aspects of Nidhas, right? Yes, he was a very good public speaker. Yes. Engaging. Ah, good old Havanaugh. I never got to meet him in person, but I have seen his deeds through this crystal lens. The aspects were a group of mortals, given a sliver of nadasas godly essence, and charged with ruling Trinavale in their stead. You know this much, but what you don't know is that I am one of those aspects

I'm going to actually break your heart by saying I suspected it Clever moon child I suspected that you might suspect Well, I suspected you might suspect that I was suspecting Okay, I did not suspect that far. That's pretty good. You've got that one on. Checkmate. I high five, promise. That's a breakthrough.

I turn it into an interlacing finger handle. That's another breakthrough. That is why I chose you as my lieutenant. You are wise beyond your years. As Verilis talks, you feel the rustle of the psychic wind. And as it hits you, the blackness you had been enveloped in fades away and you see yourself seated at a golden table with five individuals. A high Elven King, a nomish engineer, an orcish scholar,

a human banker whose face is obscured by pipe smoke, and a male moon asimar whose skin, unlike onyxes, is smooth and craterless, say for a few cracks, emanating from the edges of his wide smile. I feel pity for that complexion, and I touch my own beautiful craters. It's true I was bullied as a child. I understand. I know what it is on the moon.

They called me smoothie king. Ha ha ha ha! Delicious, lemme. It was a nutritious blend of mockery, and I carried it with was in charge of innovation, coin dealt with finance, lore oversaw history, and I, as Muth, ensured that culture thrived and life was worth living. It might seem like a noble task, but in truth, I was a glorified court-gester. Traveling across Trinneveil, I built parks and delighted the people with creativity. And yet, I was never taken seriously by my compatriots.

You see another vision of Verlis, essentially being a godly bard, traveling the land and inspiring outpourings of art and creativity wherever he goes. In this vision he smiles as he strums a loot, but for the first time, this smile appears to be strained. appears to be strained. And so, when we felt the power of Nadas, growing and evolving within us, I decided to evolve as well. I was no longer content, with simply soothing the spoiled populace of Trinneveil. I wish to challenge them and make their lives significant by subjecting them to struggle and unpredictability.

And so I ceased to be the aspect of Muth, and I became the God of Chaos. The vision fades, and you see Verlis summoning crystalline dragons to ravage farmlands. The scene changes. Now you see a spectral version of Verlis whispering in the minds of men, driving them into frenzies and causing them to raise arms against each other. And then you see multiple visions of Verlis and his underlings, operating the public toilets across all of Trinaville, as Canada's worldwide weep in despair. Monsters.

As these memories unfold, the cracks in Verlis' face spread further and further, widening his smile into a wicked mockery. Despite all the chaos I sowed, these mortals continued to sing. Oh, how precious and sweet their joy was, that it could shine from beneath such darkness! And yet, just as I was beginning to see results, just as my experiments in misery were yielding a stronger, arty or populous, capable of finding hope in even the darkest of days. The gods returned and threatened my plans. The clouds of memory swirl once more, and you see separate visions of Nalar, Lyant and Nidoss stepping out of

strange, silver crafts, each looking weary and troubled. As Nidoss returned to their palace on the large moon, they are greeted by the five aspects. Verlis Bowles before Nidoss, his face, now a jigsaw of cracks. And so I rebelled. I gathered my minions and marched on N'Dos's palace. But alas, they were too strong. They allied with the other aspects, imprisoned me in a crystal, and trapped me in this forgotten realm, never to be heard from again. Oh, so they thought. You see Nadas clad in silver robes, summoning a crystal prison to contain the defeated

Verlis. As the enchantments weave their way into the Nulfrost, you see light flash in the cracks of Verlis' smile. Then he lets out a hideous, echoing one, which causes small, spidery fishers to appear in the crystal. Nidaz flinches, but holds the spell firm. And eventually, Verlis's laugh subsides into the eternal grimace that appears before you now. In the struggle to contain me, my prison suffered a fracture, and some small, but powerful shards were lost. The wind shift again. This time, you find yourself in a geological dig on the smaller moon of Pollux, where a young moon assamar in a frilly dress, not at all

suited for digging, blows dust off of a huge chunk of jagged pastel rock. The rock glows, then pulses, then flashes white. Suddenly, you're back in the tower, and you see that Onyx's crystal flail has begun to glow as well. From it, her packed weapon, a huge mall, with a carved pink listening, O purest and hammer, emerges. And so we come to you, Onyx, free me, and together we can use these crystals to purge the gods from this world and carve our own destiny from the madness of the crystals. We can make this world our own, and unlike that nerd Nellar, we don't need some fancy machine to do it. We'll just use the crystals to create an arcane explosion, big enough to wipe the gods and all who follow them off the face of this wretched cube, a grand display of fireworks to signal the rise of our kingdom! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah I choose whatever path you're not on.

Thank God. Awesome. Great choice. Wait, can I take that again? I choose whatever path you're not wrong. Bravo. Bravo. You see, Verlyce still frozen and their crystal prison goes, what does that even mean? How's that for MIRTH? And then I do that little thing where you, um, where you bend over and you make your hands go over your knees and a little

taunting dance. How, how do you do that? How? I don't understand. I learned it from my stepson. I start I start doing it What is that is that a meme what are you doing? You'd never get it boomeron So if you want me cast whatever spells you have but I'm pretty sure you don't stand a fucking chance. So predictable, you would use your chaos. To age your friends, you would channel it to such poor conduits. When it has such potential.

Ah, very well. You leave me no choice, but to reign pandemonium upon you until your mind is forever shattered and bent to my will. Ch-ch-ch. As he speaks, the small cracks in Verilis' crystal deepen and grow, as the entire prison begins to pulse with light. As it pulses, three small shards become dislodged and plummet towards the ground. Upon impact, they explode, filling the room with pastel smoke. When it clears, you see three armored crystalline warriors standing before you. One sports massive gauntlets covered in jagged spikes.

Another holds a long cylindrical staff, blooming with a frozen flame of quartz. The third wields a very flame of courts. The third, wields a very familiar-looking saber. As they approach, Verlyse's voice booms in your mind. Come, my failed champions! I grant you this final chance to absolve yourselves in battle! battle raise your weapons and shatter the hearts of those who would stand against my glorious ambition. And that is where we will end our session. Wow, what a threat! We're back with a bang baby. Oh yeah! 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 I got to be honest, part of the reason I bailed on the idea of a short rest was because I was like, well, we don't want me with full spell slots in case I get a project. Oh, smart.

In case we have to fight you. That is very smart. And I can't wait to talk more about that strategy on the short rest. Short rest. On the Ron rest as we're calling it now. Yeah, that's over on patreon.com slash nad pod. Patry Ron. Yeah.

Yeah. It's the most important website that we want people to be able to spell right. My goodness, it's so good to be back with you all in Trent Avill. Yeah. Oh, thank you all so, so much for listening. And thank you so much to a couple of these fine folks who I would like to give shout outs to. Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription, always incredibly helpful putting these adventures together. Trevor Lyon for producing the show

and Daniel Ray-Mose for sound mixing and music. You can find Trevor on Twitter at Lyon at large and you can find Daniel on Instagram at Dr. Schubert or at his website DanielRamos.com. Also thank you to Yens Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode. And most importantly thank you so much to my nieces and nephews for playing a game with me. Thank you, don't go on there. You're also welcome. You can find them on Twitter at CHMurf is Murf, at E-AXFord is Emily, at Jake Herwoods is Jake, and at call-dee is me. Yeah. You can also tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's in a D-D-P-O-D.

Do we sing? We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. And shout, we will!

Ooh, that's a shout. Starting with Jeffrey S. Andrew M. Beardman Dan, Brad D. Cutter W. and Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, six new roommates that just moved into Team 22's apartment. The amount of occupants is now officially a fire hazard, but don't worry, if fine has been automatically extracted from Jens's bank account. Next up we got Danny P. Dylan B. Alaina C. Haldor, Frostbuck Steelbreaker, and John S. Schubert, the mushroom. Animals in Onyxism and Ashery, they all live together in a massive terrarium of holding

and each have their own tiny castle. Unfortunately, they all sound exactly like Obsidian and will never be featured in an episode. Jordan D.J. Scott D. Adam R. Mixologist Michael McD. Boundores Boy and Jive G. A group of Glowworm adventurers that took a long rest in Jens's mouth. Thanks to his protection, they were able to get a full trance in the early birds don't stand a chance against them. Justin I, Alaina M, Jacob C, Dem LR, Josh S, and TJM, the gnome barbarian, Norwalkin Z's wedding planners. So far the only direction they've

gotten from the happy couple is to make it tasteful, but in like a horny way. Destin C. Traile the cray face. Christian H. A. Cercio Salazar Salaman, Sakurai Stasequani, Kelvin Noodles, and Michael L. Members of the Royal Elvish Court who witnessed the pricking of the prince, all five separately confirmed that at the exact moment of the prick, Jen's tuted super loudly. Wow. Richard X Machina, Adam H. Trust the Traveler, Jury S. and Ryan,

a team of gnomes who pilot a giant technomec. Unfortunately, they didn't communicate properly before forming it, so there's actually three arms and only one foot. Troy McC, Mike H. Nicholas C. Sam L. and Samuel B. Victims of Verlis' Pranking Spring in the past. Each of them had their entire house upper decked by a giant cyclops, but only Mike H. had insurance for it.

The others are literally shit out of luck. Zolo Dolo, Austin M.R. Gage M. Colton B. Curtis S. and Yen's Christian T. A group of super-hyp-tattoo artists who are all hoping to get their art on NIAC's torso. If only they were prepared for how much he cries during each tattoo. Matthew E. Andrew B. Reese and S. Eric and Andrea B. Kaley Elise and Jordan L. and Elite. L and elite, Khajra of the hottest trendfluencers in Trinnyvale, Onyx is desperate to get in with them, but they unfortunately don't have her on the invite list for this year's spawn con. Devastating, Matt M, Barnesinator, C.C. Lulu, Jared E, J, and Talith X. The family of Crabsters, Onyx plucked her newest pet from, tragic, but also, they're the kind of family that doesn't

have anything in common, but still feels behold bold to each other, so actually she kind of saved the crabs. Sure. Christopher B, Dana G, Joe McGee, Persephone, AidenrH, and Austin C, the organizers of the Marathron. Anyone can enter, but everyone watching will fall under a hallucinatory spell that makes every runner look like Ron. Shadow would be Eric G, Aaron S, Lucas B, Luke H, and Timmy R, the owners and operators of the Lumiere distillery.

Yes, we've talked about Moonline, but did you know that Moon Whiskey is actually what Pollux is known for? Zach C, Devon W, Michelle O, Dan, and Caleb L, Ron's emotional support group of step parents who are dealing with erratic and irrational stepchildren. Omri M. Maxwell C. Mike K. Steven C. and Nikki W. Artisanal Jam Makers in the Rana 4th Village. Nyax Pictures on the Wall under the words Do Not Admit. Grace G. Karen T. Shane B. Kevin M. Mateo C, and Raoul N, survivors of the great Ron war where no Ron was saved from Ron. They fought many a winged, hopey Ron saved many a friendly Ron of the lake and have finally returned home, life goes Ron.

Beautiful, Maribel the Kitty Murphy gnome, Angel B, Esmi M, I am the Atlas, Michael C, and Nicholas P, the seed teens. You think those corrupted city pigeons loved seeds? Not as much as these guys, sunflowers, poppies, you name it, they love it. Robert F, Kristen P, Atticus C, Kazmir the all-knowing, Meta Amps, and Chris are a group of friends who made the mistake of inviting Gens to their friends giving he managed to bring up his father's headless body 10 times before the mashed potatoes were cold. Michael K.M. Panama James, Eric McD, Nathaniel P, and Nick B, a bunch of insane K.S. gods who are much

more polite than furlists. They're also trapped in the Crystal Prison, but they don't wanna hassle anyone if you get around to it though. Nick L. Jack L. Y. Greck 32, temporal, Burlety and Christian A members of Niax Jam, trauma support group,

fam against Jam. Wow. They meet weekly to discuss Jam safety and where full hazmat suits suits so as not to touch or slip on the forbidden berry juice. J. Dragonborn, Gen R, Jonathan O, Michael M, The Red Rain, and Drew Nasty. Ronx's other stepchildren, they all wander around the periphera with Ron Madness and they take comfort in only one thing.

Good, Ron, Ronx. KJ, Joseph A. Hordofo, Amy W, and Dave H. The crew on Verlis' Morning Zoo Show, they serve their dark master, twisting minds to bend to their will, and prank calling listeners to ask them if their refrigerator is running. And of course, who could forget Faldonis, Grant, Adrian, the Haffling Bard, Eric B, John,

H, N, and Adam G, just a bunch of rons? Each of them is more ronny than the next. When you see them, they say, game run. And when they leave, they say, Run Voyage! New York, Nick W. Ryan W. Victoria D. Axel A. Stephanie Koo and Christian S. Obsidian's Monicorn. Some of the most beautiful, sonorous voices you've ever heard kind of sounds like this. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Together in S. Paul G. Shadow, Michael C. T. N. Ben A, retrieval team 23. That's right, there's another team waiting in the wings to take over for Onyx, Nyak, and

Jens when they inevitably either die or decide to just go home and watch TV in their studio apartment. Douglas A. Nathan, Big Bad John, Britney B, Emilio D, Frankie and Garithio K, a group of gnomes who are genuinely trapped under some rubble. Damn those crystal birds ruined being endangered by rubble for the folks who actually need help. Sorry fam, we can't trust you. Keith F. Jr. Keith K, Sir Slim, Spurs Guy 96, the undead incinerator, Cody B. and Felix F. Woo, a lot of good names in there. Decorators of the elevator, where retrieval team 22 should have slept.

These fine taste makers spend hours deciding on the fabric for the elevator sofa, but our hero is elected to sleep instead in a bed of worms. Ouch. James R. Mike A. David K. Pipe Sage, Anthony, Richard J.M. and Aston S. Some of Ron's customers at his barbershop. Each of them got the classic, which is a mullet, just like Nyax and also the only haircut Ron gives anyone. And finally, Cody C.

Congratulations for us to D. Fact Daddy 187. Christina B. Marlow E. Raphael O. Sean W. And Sir Codvan. Each of these souls operates an onyx Lumiere fan account on Trinstagram and each of them has tens of thousands more followers on said fan account than Jen's has on his prime. Okay, that's all you better.

It's bot. It's bot. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our Council of Elders. We will catch you guys next time. Bye, Sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast.

That was a headgun podcast.