Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 15: Shard Showdown

Episode Date: May 29, 2020

Deep in the maddening heart of the Periphera, The Trinyvale Trio finally comes face to face with the crystal-bound demon whose wicked whispers have tormented their quest. Onyx gets soulful, Nyack competes for Top Ronors, and Jens gets way too much fruit as the battle against the God of Chaos begins!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design & Engineering by Daniel Ramos (TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)MUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily Axford“Half-Brothers” by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "The Road to Silverado" by Daniel Ramos"Moonsick" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum“The Wisdom of Neddas“ by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Trinaville. Trinaville! Trinaville! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Let me try that again. Okay. Welcome to the Perifera.

Oh! Perifera! Perifera! Now that's more like it! A world within the world itself. Where the sun never dawns, and everyone is wrong. Well... Today's story begins on the ground floor of an ominous bone white building known as Trine Tower.

Our heroes grip their weapons as they square off against three crystalline entities. One has spiked covered gauntlets. Another has a crystal staff. The third wields a saber. They could swear they've seen somewhere else. Above the entities a crystal prison pulses with pastel energy and sways arithmically against the chains that hold it in place. Can our heroes defeat Verlis or will this demented demigod have the last laugh? Only time will tell. And so, without further ado, let's rejoin Retrieval Team 22 and begin chapter 15 of the Trinavale adventure Poop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop Yummy! Ah, hello friends and welcome back to the table. I am your dungeon master aka dunkel called Well Tanner,

and I am joined by... Jens Lindell, Ronnest Lad with a Ronnest dad. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Wow. Ah, you're on stopable today. Ha ha ha ha! Nayak, number one with a mullet oh Number one with a mullet God

That's a reference to it's a fallout boy song. Oh, okay I beg you to listen to Spotify for one minute and then come back and tell me how fucking rad that intro was and Of course on X Lum, who is no longer because Ronx Lumiere is stronger. Oh, that's right. We are a Ron Heavy crew. And that's the only way I would like it. Ron Howard is also here strangely enough. Hey, everybody, he's directing this episode. Hey, I, Ron, so great to have you on. Hi, thanks so much.

Really cool to have you here, Ron. If I can email you a script after we record. Prefer if you didn't. Yeah, I've actually put myself on tape for every movie you've already made. So, if we could just get like a quick picture at the very least, I'd be wonderful, Ron. I'm gonna head out, everybody.

Okay, thank you. Thank you so much. We blew it. We blew it. we blew it. Well now that Ron's gone, how about a quick Ron cap before we get into the episode? Let's do it. All right.

When last we met, you three entered the cavern known as Mama's Ma and began your search for the chaotic underworld known as the Perifura. After traveling deeper and deeper into the cave, you found yourself surrounded by darkness and also a rare species of crustacean known as Crabsters. Scary. Onyx managed to catch one of these noble beasts and quickly put it to work as the new star of a Trinstagram. Eventually, you three made it through the labyrinth of tunnels into a large

opening full of glow worms and an elevator door. Skeptical of the elevator, you spent the night amidst the worms. You got to. While asleep, each of you had your memories invaded by Verlyse, who showed you visions of your past regrets. Jens remembered pricking the prints in the royal court of Vilevas. Nyak remembered getting mugs by guerrillas on his first day in Vainelar, and Onyx remembered their trip to the nom lands, where she gave in to the chaotic urges of the crystal and

murdered the queen of gnomes. You all woke up refreshed, but not rested, and then boarded a very comfy, not at all threatening, hotelvator, which took you down 22,000 floors into the center of Trinaville. Upon arriving at the bottom floor, you finally entered the Perifera, which turned out to be less of an underworld and more of an abandoned city. At its center, you saw a bone-white tower that beckoned you towards it. But, the further into the city you ventured, the more the madness of Verlis began to slink into your brains. Niacononix resisted, but Jin submitted to the madness and became haunted by visions of his stepdad, Ron.

Soon after, you were beset by crystal-infected city pigeons, but there were no match for Niacchan's near infinite supply of Greece. Yeah. And so, worried about lingering in such a wretched place, you three pushed on toward the tower, eventually arriving at the lake of shards. Here you once more met Goro, a shard minion in the employ of Verlis, or as Jen's dubbing, Ron of the lake. That's his name. That is his name now.

That's my name now! He curtsy's deeply. Jen's then delivered an impassioned, incredibly confusing speech which inspired Gorillot to join your team. You three then sailed across the lake and entered the tower, which turned out to be an ancient museum dedicated to the gods of Trinneville. However, once you got inside you had no time to browse the exhibits because you were confronted by a giant crystal prison containing Verlis.

The chaotic titan explained that he was once the aspect of Muth and sat on the council of Nadas alongside tact, craft, lore and coin. Eventually he grew bored of this role and sought to better the populace by challenging their lives with unpredictable madness. He then asked Onyx once more to free him and join his twisted cause, but she refused. Frustrated, Verla summoned his failed champions and ordered them to attack. And that is where we are now. All right.

Okay. Okay. So you are standing on the floor of this massive Hollow Museum Tower. You see these entities approaching. Everybody roll initiative. Before we roll initiative, when should I roll for my Instagram posts? Oh, that is a fantastic reminder. Let's go ahead and do that right now. Okay, so I just roll. Okay. Who? The first one is a ten.

Okay. The second one is a 10. Okay. The second one is a 24. 24. So your first post is a little iffy. It's a bit of a dodgy post, so I will roll for that one real quick. Oh no. Did Jen's sneaking the corner there?

Is that the thing? It's I accidentally framed Jen's in. I think we should start a trick talk. Ooh. Ah! This is a very good call. I opened my phone and I began to sign into a trick talk. Trick talk. It's going to be tricky to learn a new app in the middle of battle, but I believe in your

honest. Okay. So, you rolled a middling post and also a good post. Oh, this is very fun. So for the middling post, you see from your phone, a spectral fan emerges and they totally do not respect your personal space boundaries. And they try to cast the whole person spell on you

with a big hug. Okay, I love hugs, but you know, I just, I need some privacy in my life. I love your work. Oh my gosh, you're so amazing. I understand. I'm just trying to have brunch. Please, she's an introvert. So you see this fan, this fan grips you tight. I'm gonna need you to roll a wisdom saving throw.

Okay. Oh dear. Since this fan was summoned from your own phone, I think I'm gonna have you use your own wisdom save for it. Your own spell save. Oh, that is not good. I may be using my bardic inspiration. Ha ha ha.

I am awesome. I got another 24 holy shit. You see the fan comes into hug you and they're like, you know what? No. I respect you as a person and there need to be some boundaries in this relationship. Thank you so much for all you do. I will mail you a picture to autograph. Thank you so much. I really appreciate just the privacy to eat my O'Havoc Ron Charros and this is, means my mind. Ron X is my dad, not yours. Get away from our breakfast, no.

Yeah, I am trying to have brunch with my stepson. So this is actually a very important Sunday for me. I stabbed the ghost. What, don't. Please. She has her own security force. I don't know how to discipline him yet, so I just let him do it.

I would have hugged you. I would have enjoyed it. I long for contact. Don't talk to my step-song like that. You see the ghost dissipates, but as that ghost disappears, another ghost appears in its place, but this ghost.

I'm on edge. What do you want for me now? This ghost doesn't even look at you. This ghost is wearing sunglasses and a little earpiece. This is an enforcer ghost that is going to act a security and give you an extra two to your AC. Oh, yes! Yes!

Huge. That ghost deserves a hug. Beautiful round, well done. Wow. Alright, so that is going to bring us to initiative. Let's get rolling. Shout out to the two crew. I rolled a natural one.

Wow. Beat two ass with a two. I got an 18. Really good, um. I'm so sorry. Can I give my 18 to my stepson? Oh. Just this one's all hot.

This is fucked up. All right, can you say those numbers one more time? 18. Natural one. Shout out to the two crew with my modifier, it's a seven though. Wait, what? Do you have a five damn years. Oh, five more for you.

Yeah, Dex for you. Y'all are all maxed out. I got fours. That's not true. I have zero to intelligence, one to wisdom, zero to strength. I have minus one to strength, zero to wisdom. My character's worse than yours, okay? I'm gonna win the worst character contest.

That's what this is all about. Such a sour spirit in my stuff. I had really has nothing. I maxed out Dex and everything else is zero or a negative one. Okay, now that we've all rolled initiative, let's get into this battle. You see these three crystalline entities moving towards you. You see the one with the sword starts doing gestures in the air and you hear kind of this like tinkling noise coming from their mouth as they try to talk and they issue commands and this kind of silent crystal language

And you see the other two failed champions jump into action, but on X that is going to be your turn first champions jump into action, but onyx that is going to be your turn first. Okay. Do I have a sense of if one of them is calling the shots or if they are three equal partners like me and my friends? Go ahead and give me an inside role. Wow. Equal. I look. I know. I said it to be sarcastic. Okay, that will be 13. 13. Other than the fact that you did see Swordron gesture to the others and speak in this kind of screeching crystal language, you have no real other indication. But you did see that one issue what seems to be some sort of command, so that's your

best guess. Okay, I am going to just go after one of them. Okay. Yeah, whichever one is closest to me. You know what? I'm realizing I didn't roll for Gorlo yet. Hold on. Oh, all right. Ron of the lake. Ron of the lake. I totally spaced. I would have never remembered his name as Gorlo. He'll always be Ron of the lake to me. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

His name is Ron of the lake. Apologize to I don't know what I was thinking. His name is Ron of the lake, college friends. What else would he be okay, Ron? Never mind. Sassy Naya comes out. Onyx, that's you. Okay, I'm so sorry to ask once more, what are the other two non-sword ones, just so I can for fun choose one of them?

You see one that has a blade, one that has these big gauntlets with spikes on it, and then one that holds a crystal staff with a kind of glowing piece of quartz on top. I'm going to go after the one with a crystal staff, because I'd like to be top dog in the crystal battle. So I'm going to explain curse them and make my first attack. Great. That I'm going to explain curse them and make my first attack.

Great. That he's going to be at 21. 21. Yes, okay. That would hit, but they are going to use their reaction instinctive charm to try and redirect that attack at someone else.

Hmm. So, Ahnix, I'm gonna need you to make a DC 14 wisdom saving throw. Ooh, okay. On a failed save, you're going to target the creature closest to you. 18. 18. Alright, uh, yeah, you get it.

You see, this crystal wizard fires up this spell. You see they start to blur into two places as they try to trick you, but you cut through both illusions and you pound your mall into this crystal and flesh and you see shards of it just spill out almost like teeth as you just whack this thing. Yes. Awesome. Alright, how much damage was that?

My first attack is going to be 17. 17 damage, great. And I will take my second attack. It's going to be a 28 to hit. 28 does hit. Okay. It will actually be the same thing, another 17. Another 17. I am not going to use any spells yet.

I'm getting a lay of the land. I only have one spell left. Okay. How's that for a stepfather, huh? Okay, it's really good, but try to cool it just a little bit. You're creating a high bar. You're doing a great job, dad. I'm holding Ronx's hand.

We always find a way to compete for Gensus intentions. You see that this Ron minion with this staff looks so hurt at what you've done to it. Like mentally hurt but also fucking physically hurt. Yeah! I want to lean in close and say, just so you know, I put a little spell on you or rather a little ability. When you die, I will get hit points. As you die, I will thrive. It does not like that.

I don't understand what you're saying, but it sounds beautiful. Could you teach my monocorn to speak like that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Right here, here, here. Virtually identical. Yeah, they sing. There's a beautiful chorus of Crystal Minion and Moonicorn. Their Cacophony Echoes across the Tower walls, and you all hate it. Like a boy's choir at Christmas. So next up is Ron of the Lakes Term. They're going to need to make...

That's a good Ron for everybody at home. Here's the thing, that is a good Ron, but they're going to need to make that's a good run for everybody at home. Here's a thing that is a good run, but they're gonna need to make a charisma save to see if they remain on your side or if they are going to fall in line with their master Verless and start attacking you. Ron of the lake, look at me. You've done Ron before, but that doesn't mean you have to continue down that path. Me not sure. Is there really hope for a Ron like me? You need to move Ron. Ron word and Rupword. Rupword. What is that? Okay, Ron. What is that? Fuck.

Naya could just give this one up. Just give me this one, right? Fuck. Naya, just give this one up. Just give me this one, right? Ronnick, are we sure this okay, Ron is actually okay? I don't know, I think the battle will tell. Okay, Ron's cool. Okay, Ron is cool. Okay, Ron is fun, Ron.

Hey, let's do a secret handshake. It's so weird that okay, Ron is speaking about himself in the third person. Have you ever seen Ronnick through that? I know I haven't. It's not, you're right, it's not cool at all, and okay Ron's gonna stop doing it right now. That's why I'm chill Ron. Uh, as Niant tries to pivot into chill Ron,

let me do this roll. That's a nat 20. Woo! Yes. Fuck yes, Ron of the late. Yes. Yes. Fuck yes. Ron of the late. He lives Ron of the late. You see Verlis' crystal pulses.

Gorlo, what are you doing? Come to your senses and fight by my side. And you see Gorlo says, my name is Ron of the late. Yes it is baby. And you can suck my farts. I suck his farts Suck his farts Classic Ron line and I X taking notes suck my farts. Okay. I'll try that one Swallow my banana peels you ask

You see that Ron of the lake Ignites this ball of fire in their hand and then looks to you on Xyx. Who should I hit? Who should I hit? Hit the mage. Okay. All right, they are going to try and hit the mage. Let me see here. If Ron of the Lake survives this fight, I'll give everyone here a crisp $5 bill.

Oh. That's gonna have to be mailed. That can't be event mode. You're not supposed to mail money, Murf. But you're gonna have to do it. I'm gonna nark on your ass too. I'm in jail. Wind rickers showing up at your house. Unfortunately, Rhonda, they're like only got a tan on their attack. That is going to miss. Let's see here. Oh, it can do two hurl flames. Fantastic. So, it's going to try again. Yeah. Drops my dice, that doesn't count.

And now you do get to decide. Oh, that's a 12. That just hits. You see Ron of the Lake. Births this big, beautiful, crystal banana peel from their hand. It lights on the fire and they chuck it right at this crystal wizard who I've been calling the mind. The mind.

Ooh, I love that I went for the mind first. I'm a Sepulosexual. I love this Jens targeted narration, because no one else is seeing rods. So this is just insane that you guys are all a part of it. I think I've said it before. I think we all just love gents. It's something like your reality is our reality.

The same way your apartment is our apartment. This is me talking as Murf. I think everybody needs therapy. It needs to stop being friends with toxic people like us. Cut up the gents in your life. Don't be friends with gents. Become the stepdad of the gents in your life. You don't need to give your friends a redemption arc. You can let them go Y'all I rolled so many sixes

Really that's right round of the lake. Yes You see Ron of the lake inspired by his new friends, and Onyx's power and passion, and her desire to change and be a better person, and not be controlled by the impulses that dwell deep within her. Fire's up this massive flaming ball, and just obliterates the crystal wizard. Pshhh! Whoa!

Whoa! I weep, because I did not know that run of the lake could see that inside me Good less glory for this Ron There's a little Ron and all of us fuck off Whoa be nice to run of the lake okay Ron. Oh my god. Oh, you mean Ron What's your problem mean Ron mean runs cool I told you battle with show is true colors you do see that Gorlow looks at you on it says I know that he's the only one that can see the

runs but would it be okay if I became Ron of the lake the second you thought to ask you already were. Thank you. Thank you so much. Weech big crystal crocodile tears. Hahaha. Everyone needs a new beginning. Hahaha. Uh, and that is going to bring us to...

The Hand. Which is the crystal warrior with the big spiky gauntlets. Uh, I think because Onyx you acted first and you fucking messed up their mage, the hand is going to go for you. Bring it on, come on. Okay. As the hand moves to attack, you do see that the blade, which is the other crystal warrior, the one that has the sword, it motions for the hand to move forward and points at you, Onyx. OK.

Which means that the hand is now going to roll with an extra D4 on their attack. Does a 16 at you? It does not. Oh, OK, great. I've got a plus two to AC right now. Cool. I should clarify that plus two to AC disappears

after it's used once. It's kind of like a one-time thing. Okay, so I use it. Great, awesome. You see this bodyguard jumps in front of you. Man, let me take this for you. Wow, he was kind of hot, right? The people need you. You have inspired a generation. You haven't even explored Trick-Truck yet.

There's so much more you can do for this world. Ghostron, don't go. Don't go. Every Ron's cooler than me. Every single one of them. Every Ron of them. So yeah, you see this Ghost Bodyguard Ron grabs the Crystal warrior's gotlets and holds them in place but eventually the warrior manages to get a swipe in and they disappear. No! And now they're gonna make their second attack. Who was that? 22?

Will hit? Yeah, it will. Alright, 36 damage. Ugh. Ouch. Despite the best efforts of your spirit guard, the hand does get a good swipe in on you and you take some damage,

but that brings us to Nyaxtern. The heads up everyone, they do a lot of damage. Hey, okay everybody, check me out. Oh, funky Ron. You didn't even let me do the dance, brother or son. Okay. I'm not your brother, son, you sicko. Okay, I miss my brother, son.

What? Tell you what, I keep on putting my foot in my mouth. I'm mymron, and I do like a little wall with my hands. I start miming. I start mining. I am just so embarrassed for you. I just get super quiet. I love my content on my podcasts. I shake my head and I just shoot two arrows kind of blindly without looking.

My head is down. I'm hanging my head and just shooting two arrows. You gave yourself disadvantaged. I can't even roll the net one. I did roll the net one. I can't even make fun of you. I'm so embarrassed. My head is down.

I'm avoiding eye contact. A net one and then a 17. You just climbed and then critically failed. You got a net one in a 17? Yeah, awesome. Did I hit on either one? Who are you going for? The fucking whoever, man.

Go for the hand. The hand is up in the mix. Yeah, I'm going for the hand. All right, you go for the hand. So obviously the not one misses. You got a 17 on the second one? Yes. That does hit.

Oh, hell yes. But you see the hand finishes swiping at Onyx, and then they cast a fractal shield that boosts their AC and your arrow, patink! Grazes off. Perfect. I'm not here to fight. I'm here to entertain, and then I pull on a fake rope.

Oh. Pretend to blow up a balloon. Not here to fight, I'm here to entertain, and then I pull on a fake rope. Ah! Ah! Pretend to blow up a balloon. I did forget one thing. Okay. When the hand hit me, I have my armor of amethyst. Ooh! So they should have taken 25 damage.

Wow! Incredible. Okay. Fuck. Also, I'm going to cast counter spell on the shield. Ooh! Whoa!

Maybe Ron does get to do something after all. I kind of feel bad for Sad Ron, Ron. Sad Ron? Did he call me Sad Ron? Jen, your sympathy and empathy never fails to impress me. I'm so proud to be your stepfather. Thanks, I feel like I've always been this way and I haven't really learned anything.

You won't regret helping out Sadron. I smile and wink and I do 8 damage to the hand. Fuck me! 8 damage! Thanks for using Counter-Spell on me. Fuck! EEEE! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha thing is just like an overall thing. Again, I thought it was a beautiful gesture of humanity. Thank you. As a thank you, I'll do the worm. Everyone gets really quiet again. All you hear is the sound of Nijax belly on the ground. Sharp crystals, the ha ha ha ha. Onyx, you hear Verlis whispering your mind. Your friends are so pathetic. Don't you just want some cool crystal dudes who do what you say?

Look at that worm. He's got little cuts all over his tummy now. Um, runnously I'm gonna tell you you are not seeing him at his prime. Okay? If there's jam on the ground, that's when he thrives. You do see that Gorlow is questioning whether or not they sided with the right person. Gorlow, do not return to Verlis just because this man does the worm. Oh, I wasn't gonna return to Verlis. I was thinking maybe I just go off on my own Just seems like you guys have a lot of issues. Maybe you don't need anymore back

Don't go anywhere till you've seen me floss my friend Jen's getting even quieter just coughs Ronics is starting to feel pity for Niax, so she's really torn now. I'll be fine, I'll be fine. I can climb out of this hole. I'm sorry, Niax, did I take it too far? It's just you know how it feels when he gives you the attention. I do. When the light shines on you, it is bright. When the light shines on you.

When it shines away, it casts a long shadow. I know. Yes. I'm so away, it casts a long shadow. No. Yes. I'm so sorry, I was drunk on his light. Now, I am absolutely going to need a performance check on that floss. On the floss? Not the worm, I can do it, I can do it for both. The worm is free, the floss is extra.

You do have a bar of conspiracy still, I think. Please don't use it on flossing. Okay, I have a minus one to perform it, but I did get a 16. All right, wow. It's flossing. Thank you. That is what I was going for.

Doesn't have to be good, just has to be accurate. I sneer, it's fine. I was shuttered with joy. Did you hear him? He said it's fine. I was shuttered with joy. Did you hear him? He said it was fine. It was fine, but it was not fine enough to distract the blade who launches into the fray. They are going to go after...

Jins already has a magnus of some sort. So I think they're going to go after who they see as a threat. Not like you did act last and fired some arrows. I thought you said threat. Yeah. Well, my dancing can be threatening. Yeah.

His dancing does have the same effect as the mantle of the moth. It casts confusion. Why is he doing this? You see the blade looks at you and just hates what you're doing. The sprinkler? They hate the movements you're making. They think that you're trying to confuse them. They think you're trying to cast a spell on them,

so they are going to try and attack you. A movement so jarring, it must be magic. If I die as fine Ron, it will be a way to go. Does a 17 hit you? Yes. OK. Oh, did you roll your sunscreen today to see what damage your immune to?

Oh, no, I did not That's a D12 right yeah Two wow crystal damage you did it Why did I put that on the sheet fuck fuck dude? You're old a two yes you are resistant to cold damage for the rest of the day now that is cool Isn't it maybe I'm cool, Ron. I give him the cold shoulder. Or the cool shoulder.

Max stops flossing and instantly puts on sunscreen. The coolest thing you can do. Nothing's cooler than that. So you said a 17 missed you? Uh, no, that hit me. It does hit me. Yeah, okay. Don't you worry about that.

Oh no, no, absolutely. Let me just roll all these attacks at once because they're going to do three of them. Oh, no. Okay. 17 hits. 22 is going to hit. Of course. But then they dink it on the last one. Shout out to the two crew. All right, let's roll damage for two attacks. Okay, you take 18 damage total. Cool. All right, so that is the blade's turn, Jens, that brings it to you. All right, Jens, heartbroken by seeing Ghostron destroyed

his second favorite Ron in between Ronics and Rod of the Lake. Of course. Jens, tap dances emotionally towards the hands and sings, Of course. Gens tap dances emotionally towards the hands of, and sings, when you're a Gens, you're a Gens all day long from the run of the lake to a dad that is Ron.

And then I, not whisper sings along with Gens. That ignos everywhere to the songs. For a second, I shift out of being Ronx. Whoa! Okay, that is a 21 to hit. 21 is gonna hit. Sweet.

They've already used their shield, so they can't do shit about it. Great. I'll just do all of my attacks. 23 to hit. On the second hit, that hits again. Great. Third one is a 24 to hit, baby. Wow! Three hits! Yeah. I'm gonna do skills from my rebeckening void. Hell yeah. My sword. I'm going to do a divine

flourish on the first attack. So let me roll the damage there. Mm-hmm. I'll do second level. Great. I'll do second level. Great. 25 damage on the divine flourish attack. Wow. And then I use the infinite cheeks of destiny while using the beckoning void. I can roll a performance check to see if my divine flourish has an extra effect.

So. It is insane to hear you saying all these names so matter of factfully. I'm going to use the infinite cheeks of destiny. Let me go ahead and roll. He just said that like it was an absolutely normal thing to say. My performance check, I do have proficiency in performance. So let's see how that, oh my, good lord, I did so good.

That is a 31 on performance. I give it my all into this tap. Wow. Just when I thought I didn't care about his respect, he goes and does something like that. Ronnix was starting to lose interest in her steps on, but now she's re-embraced her stepfatherhood. Jens, your blade glows a beautiful royal purple as you spin around your ass fully on display and you slash in to this crystal being and as you're spinning Amidst this sea of rons you see one laslick and he nods at you approvingly I

Weep I have so many fathers now father. Oh, oh This Ron he may not be me, but he's damn okay! He's better than okay. He's Ronx. Okay, Ron is bad, Dad. I puffed my chest with pride. Sure thing. I'm gonna go back to being dead now. Good luck, son! Okay, Ron, pretty funky! So, with a 20-year hire, I automatically cast cast Auto's Irresistible Dance.

So yeah. So fun. So the way Auto's Irresistible Dance works is it doesn't have a saving throw. Choose one creature within range. Target begins a comic dance in place, shuffling, tapping its feet. I'm gonna say it's tapping along with me. Beautiful. A dancing creature must use all of its movement to dance

without leaving in space. And as disadvantage on dexterity saving throws and attack rolls, while the target is affected by the spell, other creatures have advantage on attack rolls against it. As an action, a dancing creature can make a wisdom saving throw to try to regain control of itself. So it makes it on its turn as an action if it wants.

Amazing. This is very good, my stepson. You see the hand breaks into a tap routine following your lead and starts singing in its hideous voice. B'mon! Hahaha! Another one in front of me. Hahaha! So auto-zero-assistible dance is going, so I'm gonna roll just to see if I create on anything, because I hit on the other two. Okay. Um, I'll just do my damage.

Another 20 damage between the other two attacks. Hell yeah, so 20 more damage? Yes, and then I'm going to use my movement to... I to let it get a, actually, it doesn't have a reaction if it tried to use shield, so I'm just gonna dance back and get away from it, so it can attack me. Okay, great. It looks around trying to figure out

where its dancing partner went, and then it realizes it's in the spotlight now, and it absolutely just doubles down, starts really moving, really trying to show off for Verlis. Onyx considers pledging herself. We're in a back, we're in a back, we're in a back, it's a triple threat, you can sing, dance, and kick my ass. Verlis is not pleased with this.

Jens, that's your turn? Yes. Cool. Verlyss, how are your minions looking now, huh? I bet you wish you were with the worm guy now. I do like the dancing quite a bit. Okay, it is the bottom of the order, and that means it's time for a layer action. Jens, you feel Verlyss focuses psychic, ethereal gaze. It's time for a layer action. Jins. You feel Verlyse focuses psychic ethereal gaze

fully upon your raw, rattled mind. No amount of dancing will help you, Jins. The seeds of madness have begun to grow. Now you shall toil forever in the thorns of your own darkest memories. The crystal pulse buffets your body and you are thrown back in time. Once more into a memory of that day in the high court of Ilavas. There's a moment of silence as the blood starts to trickle down Prince Aster's shoulder,

then the court explodes. For a moment you're relieved, but then you realize, amongst the crowd, there are still faces of Ron, booing you, throwing the freshest elven fruit they can, as is the tradition of heckling in the kingdom of Ilavas. Boo, boo! Mac clarify, what is an Elven fruit look like and taste like just out of absolute curiosity? And feel like.

And feel like. You know, I imagine it's all like real bullshit fantasy fruit. It's like star bananas. There you go. Say no more. Say no more. Say no more. A star banana with a bit of peach fuzz on it.

The star bananas are so pointy, please. They throw star bananas which hit you and they feel like getting hit by ninja stars. No, it's me, it's Jen, so I'm not Nyak. Prince pricker, prince pricker. Taste our nanners, prince pricker. No, no, how could you? How dare you insult the king?

Surely, you've confused me. You've confused me for my half stranger. More starpin' in his guards. No. Please, can I get into this flashback? I need to defend myself. I'm getting slandered in someone else's flashback. I'm just screaming about Niac.

Yeah, I need in at this mind palace, please. So you see, this crowd starts throwing banana stars at you. They also throw raspberries, which unlike normal raspberries are berries that insult you when they hit. So you say they hit you. Your ass is kind of big. What? You have skinny ankles.

No. You have rosacea there. Oh, okay. Easy. And as these taunts fly at you, as these star bananas dig into your flesh, the kings shout to the guards, and they start moving towards you to take you away to the dungeon. You are paralyzed. You've dishonored your father's legacy.

Perhaps it's best that the guards throw you in the dungeon, and you remain there for the rest of your days. But that's not actually what happened, is it? Did they put you in the dungeon? There's a detail about this day that you can't recall, but Verlyss's pulsing laughter makes it hard to focus. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. This will go fine, I'm sure. With disadvantage, obviously. Okay.

That is a six. Awesome. Does that beat it? That was the cutest six I've ever heard. It's a real jivelin' six. I really, really want to hear that six for the rest of my life. Make it a ringtone. Jins, I'm so sorry, the wisdom save was a seven.

I usually fail, but only just. You're gonna take 40, 10 psychic damage real quick? Yes. We are Jins' in no way vulnerable to psychic damage real quick. Yeah, he's. We are gents is a no way vulnerable to psychic damage. Can't think of a more mentally healthy person. Confidence. Yeah. Kindness.

Gents is all there. I would say of the three of us, you're probably the most well-adjusted. I guess you guys are like maniacs. Gents, despite your totally ironclad mental state, you take 20 points of psychic damage. Ah, nice. And you are stuck in this memory. You see more guards coming towards you

as fruit peltes you from all sides. And you, in the real world, just stand motionless with a look of fear on your face. I yell to the crowd, fine, I admit it. I don't have a car. Do we hear this? Yeah, you hear this, he shouts this out loud. As you say this in the vision,

a star banana goes right into your mouth. Whoa! He doesn't have a car, it's in the shop. It makes sense. Oh, that's very good. That's the tracks, yes. Yeah, this tracks. Onyx, that's going to be your turn.

OK. I am going to go after this hand who I will have advantage on. Great. Because he is dancing. He is dancing. There you go. The dance is beautiful though, and moving. Dirty 20.

Does dirty 20 hit? That does. OK. 15 damage. Okay. 15 damage? Oh, 15 damage. Onyx, you're almost sad to do this because the dance is so beautiful, but finish the hand. Okay, this is so exciting. I meant to do this on the last one, but I got super wrapped up in the round of it. I am going to, part of my Mystic Arcaneum gives me a sixth level spell once a day, which

I have selected soul cage. As a reaction, when a humanoid within 60 feet of you dies, I can snatch their soul and trap it inside a tiny cage, which of course I'm going to do a terrarium on a bindle. And I can for the next eight hours exploit the soul for six different times for a couple different ways as a bonus action. Incredible. So I'm gonna basically animal crossing with a bindle with a terrarium on it to scoop up the soul.

You hear that satisfying front of Broom-Broom-Broom As you catch this soul in the bindle and then you present it right to us Presented to you guys are riggles in my hands. I hold it out for too long Come on someone give me a reaction or something oops your pockets are full. Okay. She is Baby Come on, someone give me a reaction or something. Oops, your pockets are full. Okay, shit, fuck. Baby, you know you're the eat. Fuck me.

Text appears below you that says, you caught a soul. Now that's what I call jazz. This is not going into the museum. If you know what I'm talking about. And then I am going to attack the other one. And I'm going to ask a bonus action. You can borrow experience.

That's one of the things you can do with the soul. Cool. You use your bonus action to bolster yourself with the soul's life experience, making your next attack roll ability check or saving throw with advantage. Sure. They were a really good bowler.

And now you know how to bowl in that way where you only put two fingers in the hole and you like spin it when it goes down the alley. Yeah, I borrowed this bowlers experience and now I will attack with advantage on the next guy for my second attack. 25 is going to hit and fortunately I rolled really poorly

so it is only 11 on the blade. And that is my turn. Good turn. I used every single, I used my reaction, my bonus action and both of my attacks. I am feeling accomplished. I'm taking half now. You feel verless in your mind, such creativity. Yes.

I must have it. I know. See your power. This is a problem. I know. See? Your power. This is a problem. You keep offering me a partnership, but I am not, I am curious about what you actually bring to the partnership. Because to me, it seems like I do all the work and you just benefit from it. I'm more of an ideas guy.

Yeah, okay. I saw it. I'm not going to say that right. Okay. Big picture. You know you find me in the back office on the phone making the deal right, but yeah, you make more money than me though, right? Well, yeah, Verlis has 17 bracelets It's an experience name I know 15 Verilises in real life. But you do it for the love of it, that's the difference.

For me, this is just a job. All right, that is going to be Ron of the lake's turn. Yes. Let's see if they can resist their cool boss, Verilis' Charismic pull. He does know how to sell in the room. I know who's buying. Holy shit, they roll a 21, which is the save they needed

exactly. Ron of the lake remains in the lake of your hearts. How are we going gonna trust this guy? Every single turn, he almost goes again. He says, can we call him two-faced Ron? How about that? Yeah, he doesn't. Okay, okay.

I don't make the decision, you know? He did take out the match, you know? Yeah, but every single time he weighs if he wants to turn. So I just, I feel like he's good, but not Ron number two or three, right? Okay, Ron as become suspicious Ron Okay Jens is fully brainwashed right now My Jens is like not here for this. I hit him with my bend ulterarium

If I Jen is like not here for this, I hit him with my bendal terrarium. Jen. I do not tense up my muscles in any way and you just instantly break a rib. Wow, souls are heavy. And I don't react. All right, Ron of the Lake is going to hurl two more flames at the blade. One of those is going to hit and the other whiffs. You see Rhonda the like ignites another fireball on their hand, it launches it at the blade.

It says, No one will take me from my cool new friends! I quit! Awesome, are all of us equally cool? We're all equally cool in your eyes, right? I don't, I would never rank my friends and then he winks at Onyx. What was that? I usually trust him, I'm sorry, he's proven himself to me.

That is wrong of a lakes turn, Niaq, that's you. Okay. Question, may I do an insight to see if there's anything I can do to help my brother? Yeah, go for it. Ooh! 18. 18. You look at Jens, and he looks fine. He's breathing normally.

His body is acting as if he's being pelted by fruits. Uh. Specifically, Starbonanna. Specifically, star bananas. Yeah, you can see like, he tries to keep catching star bananas in the air and he's keeps saying, oh, oh, oh, these star bananas. Throw a smoother fruit, please. These ones are so pointy.

But despite this clear madness, he's totally fine physically. It just seems like he is just locked in a cage of his own memories. There's nothing you can do for him from a physical perspective. This is purely self-inflicted by his own trauma and past experience. AKA, Jens every day. He's got some shit to work through. You know what? I wish you were awake for this brother because I finally don't give a shit about your approval anymore. And I draw my arrows back and then I look over just

to see if he heard me say that. And if there's just like a twinge of respect in his eye. Onyx missed it. Did everyone start with it? Did everyone miss it? What went my mouth? I'm sorry, what were you saying? I wasn't with my butt. Oh, fuck it. Me and Rana, the lake, we're making some funny gestures with our eyes.

So that's a 17 and a 25 to hit with my arrows. OK. They're gonna use their parry on that first hit You see they draw their sword and slice one of your arrows in half But you do hit them with the second one make sense. I can't get a win today. Oh, but there's one That is 11 damage great great. That's all right That is 11 damage. Great, great, that's all right. That's my turn, and I do sort of a cut night joke thing just in case Jens comes out and sees dancing.

Just instantly backs down. Why is everybody dancing? I'm ready to come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cut night, Ron? Onix and Ron are the lake deutango. So I'm where Keith feels jealous for some reason? Knight, Ron. Onyx and Ron of the Blake do a tango. Ha ha ha. Somewhere Keith feels jealous for some reason. All right, cool.

That brings it to the blade. After that arrow sinks into the blade's crystal and neck, it turns directly towards Uniaq and just starts charging. OK. And they are going to take three attacks. Watch how I stand my ground, everyone. He did me a little respect. I know that D&D combat,

the idea is that the whole round takes like six seconds and it's everybody just acting really quickly, but I am just imagining Naya standing there as the dude charges from across the room. I drop my arrow, I drop my bow, I dropped my arrows and I just say do it coward. You can't hurt me worse than I've been hurt already. Do it with advantage. You see the blade stops for a moment, looks confused, then shrugs their shoulders and swipes

three times. That is going to be 226 and 24. Yikes. They all hit. Okay. Oh no. All right, that is going to be 20 damage. Okay, I'm still up. It seems almost as if they win a little easy on you.

Out of, I guess embarrassment. Is that all you got? I guess embarrassment. Is that all you got? Okay, that brings us once again to Jens. Oh no. Yeah, wait till my brother breaks out of his trance. He's gonna wake up and think what you did was awesome. Fuck.

Jens, you're still trapped in this memory. The court jeers at you. They start pulling out flaw berries, which are of course berries that make you remember all of your flaws as soon as they hit you. I don't need the berries, I remember that. You see two of the elves look at each other and go, why is our fruit so weird?

Whatever, make keep throwing it ah Your entire body is flushed with shame it feels like there's no way out But at the back of your mind you know that's not true Something is missing here Give me a perception check. Oh boy. I wish you could get your own bardic inspiration. anyone. Yikes. All you see is even more star bananas coming your way. Ow.

Ow. Surely you must run out of fruit eventually. There is no orchard that could support this much. There are starving elves, and yet you pelked me with fresh fruit. Surely someone else who's less aware of their shame could be starving elves and yet you pelte me with fresh fruit Surely someone else who's less aware of their shame could be velvet with these strawberries You see Two fruit salesmen wheel their carts into the back of the palace fruit for sale fruit for sale Special on fruit today anyone Anyone need some fruit?

You're always dig so much money on this. Just kick my ass to get it over with. Go ahead and give me another wisdom save as well. Nat 20. Oh! Yes. Jens, with a Nat 20, I will not make you take any more psychic damage. You hunker down.

The shame of the Starbonanna is enough. I think in Jens' brief moment of mental clarity, when his back is truly up against the wall. Um, he looks for... Niaq and Onyx. In the crowd? Yeah. I wish I was there. Give me another perception check. Maybe.

Lower one is an 18. Whoa! Ooh, maybe. Lower one is an 18. Whoa! Jins, with that nat 20 on your wisdom save, you've reached rock bottom, and you don't know who else to turn to. You can't even take psychic damage, because there's nothing left for it to affect. And in your lowest moment, you scan the crowd once more, and you see no one.

A hand grabs your shoulder and starts dragging you away. You look up and you see that it's one of the guards here to escort you to the dungeon. As this happens, the crowd cheers wildly. You see Prince Aster clapping giddily, not even hurt at all. His father nodding approvingly as you were taken to the dungeon where you will spend the rest of your days You try to reason with your captor as they escort you out of the room, but when you do

She holds an oddly pale and pockmarked finger Up to the lips of her visor Then leads you further down the passage Once you're out of ear shot, she pauses, cautiously looks both ways, then whispers in your ear. Onyx, what did you say? Come with me if you want to live. She takes off her illivasy and helmet to reveal the craterous face of a moon asimar.

Then she takes your hand, and together you make your way to the illivasy and shipyard and stow away on a vessel headed for Vena Larr. You're terrified to leave your old life behind but thrilled for the new beginnings to come. And after that, you wake up and you're back in the fight. I... You guys don't have to pay rent and then I I Hug them both and I we entered to onix and say you were paying rent

No, I was charging you I'll stop complaining about it I'm gonna get your car out of the shop, brother. It's not in the shop. It's not anywhere I'm gonna get your car out of the shop, brother. I just- it's not in the shop, it's not anywhere. I- How did you emerge from that stronger than before? Ah, a new issue not gone for you. There's confidence buried deep under all those flaws. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Perhaps the younger brother is the true target. Yes. Is he talking about me or you and I, heck? Honestly, I'm not sure. Who knows, we're triplets, and I stay on the bravely with night heck and forever. I mean, I put my arm around both of them. You were supposed to be real fucked up by that.

Well, physically, I'm a mess. You didn't mess up my brain, but emotionally, I've a mess. You didn't mess up my brain, but emotionally, I've never been honestly more vulnerable, but that is fine. There is strength in vulnerability. Also, you know what they say about triplets? They share a heart.

You're not triplets. You're all three of you a different race, and you're different ages, your different ages wildly different ages. I love that you you respect our individuality as well as our unity. And yet we share one heart. You honor us. We share a heart. You know what?

There's a difference between chaos and stupidity and you fucking found it. I'm done with this shit. Thank you so much, thank you. That honestly really means a lot to me. We are good at finding shit. Yeah, thank you so much. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

You feel frustrated laughter, circle your body and mind, Niaq. As Verlyse turns his full psychic fury on you. Oh! This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's

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You're back on the streets of Vainelar once more. It's your first day in the big city, and you're in over your head. Above you, a city gorilla kicks you repeatedly, while another roots around in your satchel. Excuse me. All right, sorry. Please stop. Ow. Let's kick the politeness out of him, boys! Yeah! Good luck, friends. Ow! I love a challenge!

They're like dark norwalk. Shadow nor walk. Nyaak, you remember this day. You thought this nightmare would never end. But it did end, right? Really, something isn't quite right about this memory, but you can't put your finger on it. Give me a wisdom saving throw. That's only an eight.

Can I use my Bartik inspiration? Yeah, you said who? Ah, so that's a 16 still not enough unfortunately Nice You take 33 points of psychic damage. Oh Better and that brings us back to on X okay. How fucked up does the Blade look they still look quite froggy yikesikes. Okay, froggy, I said fresh. Yes. Okay, I will use my bonus action to take another advantage from my terrarium soul and not 20 at crit baby.

Nice. Hell yeah. So 21 damage and then I will attack again. Hell yeah. Wait a second, can I do my Eldritch smite? So I used my bonus action to get advantage from my terrarium, but my Eldritch smite, according to what I'm reading, does not take a bonus action, so I'm just gonna add that on top. It's like a divine smite.

It's yeah, it's like a divine smite. Sweet. So I hit him for 21 with my crit, but then during my extern, I roll my Eldridge smite. And it is, it got a 27, so if that doubles from critting, then that becomes a 52. So 52 plus 21. 73.

Wow, wow, okay onyx Your flail Shimmers with determination and you swing with full force into this warrior And you fucking crack him good But as you do You see Verlis turn their gaze towards you, and he stands his ground for just a moment, and he hangs in there with, I'll go ahead and say it,

2 HP. Well, I do have a second attack. Ha ha ha! Get him! I won't have advantage, but it's got a hit, 26 hits. 26 hits. Yeah! Bye bye.

The hand goes bye bye. That's gonna be another 17 damage. You see, you do this first hit, and the blade still stands, and Verless goes, huh, is that all you've- oh no! Classic bad guy trying to get in word in before my second attack. You do the Breath of the Wild spin attack where you whack him once and then just fully come all the way back around and clean his goddamn clock. Onyx hitting up both Animal Crossing and Breath of the Wild is making my heart full. This one's for the gamers y'all, what can we say?

Amazing, alright. Yeah, Onyx, finish him. Okay, I take my mall and I want to flack him like a mini golf ball to my stepson and say, hold in Ron. I still mechanically have madness, but I'm no longer seeing all Ron's. What are you talking about, honors? And then presumably, the blunt force of hitting Jens is what kills him. Oh, why?

Who are all these little rock guys? Who's this weird one that's on our side? The Ron Chokes just never get old. They just keep getting better. They keep getting Ronnier and Ronnier. You have to use them now because we might not get to use them next time, you know? No, I think it's having a seizure missing all of this. So much foam coming out of your mouth.

Yeah, you see Ron at the lake just doubled over with laughter at all these great, great Ron goofs. Inspired, they are going to try to resist Verilis's pull yet again. Again, we've been brought in someone who helps us but also could be turned against us. It's very fun. Mmm. They just got a 14. Okay.

Unfortunately, this time, you see Ron of the Lake starts laughing. Ron. Ron. Ron. I'm back, baby. Maybe this soldier will treat you better huh? You keep serving them up to me. I knew I'd win them over eventually.

I'm all about playing the long game. And no, I don't mean the Ron game if that's what you're wondering. Honestly, I think Ron jokes are over. What is everyone talking about? Okay, Boomer. You're still making Ron jokes? Did you get the message, Ron jokes are over. Ron jokes are out.

Why are you all spilling the tea on me? They literally just finished. I'm so sorry. You see, in your mind, memes filled with Ron jokes flicker for a moment. And Verly says like, what do you think of these? Are these good? Oh, man. Go back and delete those from Trinstagram, honest. Yeah. You don't want anyone landing on your page for the first time in seeing that shit. When Verly starts e-mailing you, Ron memeses. That's when you know Ron Memes again. No, I won't.

No, I won't. Last one I swear. I will breathe new life into Ron Memes. You got this from Facebook, man. That's when memes go to die. Yeah, for real. The second someone's ant posts Ron Memes over. This one has a minion on it.

There's a Ron minion. You see the picture of a minion made of crystals eating a big steak and he says I like filet min' Ron Funny right no It's not hidden with the boomer niac Kill them okay, Boomer That's the real range to attack from night Beyond That's the real ranged attack from that. It comes beyond. Verilis is mad, number one that you don't like is Ron jokes, but number two that Jens was able to escape his memory prison.

So they're going to attack you twice with some flames. Let's see. Sweet. Uh, does a 21 hit? It would if I didn't use shield. Ha! Ha! But doing it bounces right off.

Beautiful. What about a, um, 23? That just hits. He's shield. Ah! Ah! But doing it bounces right off, beautiful. Yeah. What about a, um, 23? That just hits. Okay. So that's 13 damage. Okay. This ball of flame flings at you and cinches your beautiful cloak.

Nice. I did a beautiful spin to deflect the first one, but I was too flashy and I just get completely burned on the second one. Ow! Spun into the second one. Next time I should just move out of the way. You held your finger up in a disco pose and the flame just absolutely launched right into your sternum. Ow!

Wow, disco gens, I need to see disco gens now. Hahaha. Um, as you try to pat off the flames, we go over to Niaq again. Howdy. Niaq, you are still stuck in this terrible memory. The gorillas laughter blends with the laughter of Verlis ringing in your skull. Ha ha ha ha. It feels never ending. It's like he's sending you Ron memes over and over again, and there's no way you can unsubscribe. They don't get funnier. The picture quality is terrible. Mute, mute thread. Do not disturb. As you lay there, crunching tighter and tighter into a ball,

something feels wrong, incomplete. Give me a perception check. 16th. Niaq, as the gorillas continue to kick you, you start to crawl back towards Ranafore. Inging slowly, elbow after elbow, headed back towards the jungle where you know you belong. Then suddenly, you hear the gorillas leader shall, Hey, who the hell are you? This is our target! This is our mark! Gah! And then, the kicking stops.

An unconscious gorilla thuds directly into your view. And on top of it, you see a pair of long black boots. The kind worn by Bards, and more specifically specifically sword dancers. Meticulous. Jins, what did you say to Niaak that day? Ah, Mother said that my half stranger was coming to visit.

I didn't realize I was going to have to clean up your mess too. And then I put on a long pair of gloves. And I grabbed the back of his neck like he's a kitten and I pull him up and I go, come on, you can sleep on my roof. I'll follow you brother. As you go to leave, you see this gorilla gang circles you. Their leader says, you think you can just walk in here and steal our mark? No problem?

He whistles and more minions show up. We're gonna show you how we do it in Vainelar. You ready to rumble? I, in the Prince Pricker, and this is some half-stranger dude, who honestly looks kind of strong. Half-brother as well. Don't mess with the Lindell boys.

That was my dad's name. That's not your last name. I don't have my own last name. Well, you can't just take mine. Quick, while they're bickering, get them! I go to stab my hack and stab through a doot's hand. Ha ha ha ha. You do that. The other gorilla's launch in.

Niac, Jins, you kick these gorillas' asses and send them packing. It is an absolute wamping. Eventually, the gorilla's give up and start to flee. And as you're celebrating your victory, you see a small halfling in emerald robes approach you. He takes a big sip from his colorful walk me down beverage, then begins to applaud.

Wow! Holy shit, amazing work! Are you two by any chance in need of a job? I was recently shamed out of my career field. So, yes. So, yes, okay. Sorry for oversharing. I've never done an interview.

It's all right, it's fine. I guess my strengths, my weaknesses are my strengths. I would say that the fight was more the interview. You're kind of already hired, yes, both of you. I don't necessarily need a job because I have a free roof to sleep on But I if my brother is doing it then I'm I'm fine to join and want to do whatever he does I echo do it and I'll supervise I love being supervised sounds cool

We can iron out the hierarchy later. We can figure that out titles and whatnot for now all you need to know You can you can iron that out titles and whatnot for now. All you need to know. You can iron it out right now. He's the leader. I'm following. He's number one. I'm number two. Let's do it. Head in turn.

I don't have my computer with me right now or anything, but I will remember that. I'll write down a note. Congratulations. Welcome aboard. My name is Blavin Blanford. He shakes your hands. And I look forward to working with you.

And as soon as he says that Nyak you wake up and you're back in the tower my brother fought for me and that brings us to jins sweets um who is left just uh... run of the lake run of the lake who is still? Just a round of the lake, a round of the lake, who is still attacking you? Okay, great. Okay, you little weird rock goblin. I don't know why you think your friends with us. That's right. I blacked out for a while and then I had a dream. Now I'm friends with my friends, but in a nice way. And then I swing at this little dude but you

weren't in my memories at all. Friends with you? Haha fat chance! The only friends I'm friends with I don't have any- what? No please list your friends. I'd like a friend Ross, please. I would love a friend but I don't need friends because I have Verlis and we shall conquer the world First attack is a mad one. It's a 12. It's 12 That misses great second attack is a 19 that hits third attack is a 26 hits as well great 21 damage from the other two attacks wow Yeah, baby and then I'm going to bonus action, give Barthic inspiration to Niaq

by saying, you might only be okay, Ron, but you're pretty good, Niaq. That's cool to you to say, brother. That's actually really cool. That's cool, you're the same brother. That's actually really cool. That's cool, they're here. So I give you a party of inspiration. Thanks.

Because I know you used it. You see Gorlow looks so envious. Somewhere deep in the back of their mind, they want this. They want this so bad. They want friends, and they want to sleep in an apartment with four to five of their friends and not pay rent. They want friends and they want to sleep in an apartment with four to five of their friends and not pay rent. They want that life, but they shake it off and they keep fighting for their Lord, Burles.

Jens is callously just trying to slither his throat, but the rocks are making it too hard. I know we have an aspirational life of sharing a studio apartment. Not everyone can be so lucky. Just acknowledge your privilege, acknowledge what you have. It all looks pretty good through the Trinstagram filters and I'll tell you what it is. Yeah I'm gonna be honest. There's no filter on our pictures just a little bit of minor illusion. I guess when you see the past through rose-titted eyeballs, like mine, because they're made of actual rose-titted crystals. Yeah, come on.

Who is this guy? He's a crystal. There was a time when he was your number two, and I'll never forget or forgive him for it. I am so sick of all of this. It was foolish of me to attack your friends, Onyx. I should have nipped this at the bud and gone right for the source. Now you shall suffer most of all. If you won't join my cause, then you give me no choice, but to trap

you forever in a prison of your own past. Okay. Feralis is laughter rattles through your skull and your vision blurs. When you regain focus, you're back in the throne room of the clockwork queen. Her blood stains your flail and a dozen diesel-powered spear saws point menacingly at your neck. From a cage near the throne, Keith looks on and disbelief. You've given in to your darkest and most chaotic impulses. Maybe this is what you deserve.

After all this, who'd want to save you? Who'd give you a second chance? Is there anyone? There must be someone, right? You scan your brain, but Verlyss is thick laughter rolls over your thoughts like a veil of fog. You can't remember. I can't think of anyone.

Give me a wisdom saving throw. Okay. You still have your bardic, right? Do you have bardic? Okay, this is gonna be dodgy. My wisdom save is 13, but I have not rolled my bardic. Okay, this is gonna be dodgy. My wisdom save is 13, but I have not rolled my bardic yet. 19.

19. That's not gonna do it. These winds overwhelm you. It feels like you're lost in a roiling ocean, caught in a storm, and you just give in to this laughter. This is what I deserve. And you take 16 points of psychic damage. But luckily, Onyx, even in this swirling sea of chaos and despair, you don't lose hope.

You keep searching, you keep thinking. And it's your turn yet again. Oh, so I get to do this save again? Before you do that save, give me a perception check. Okay. Ten. Roll with advantage. 13.

Onyx. Time has slowed. The smell of gasoline stings your nostrils as the gnomes rev up the chains on their spear saws. You prepare to embrace your fate. Even though deep down, you know this fate is wrong. Something small and sharp fights against this memory. But the gnome spears grow ever closer still. And then, suddenly, a storm of arrows feel like a storm of arrows fills the air and takes them all down.

You look all around and at first you see nothing. Who did this? But then the archer reveals himself. He was hiding in plain sight, covered in techno-met grease and some sort of sticky oil. He checks to make sure the coast is clear, then rushes over to help you. Nearby, you see his brother picking the lock on Keith's cage. Both look up at you with faces of tired relief. Niac, Jens, what did you say to Onyx that day? When we're with Jens, we're with Jens all the way. Hahahaha!

From the run of the lake to a dead, that is Ron. That's right. James looks Baffled Onyx, what the hell are you talking about? Is this one your boyfriend or do we have to kill him? Who's he? Save the gnome! Save the gnome! Honestly. I'm not with them. I'm not with them. I'm not the part of this.

This is a good gnome. He is a very good gnome with a very good heart. Save the gnome before you even save me. I pick the lock. You pick the lock and Keith hops into your arms. Thank you. You saved me. Yes. Hello. He gives you a tender kiss on the cheek. Oh. Any friend of Onyx is a friend of mine. Now come on, we've got to get out of here. This is pretty hot, night. Honestly, yeah I'm into it. Hmm weird onyx you see Keith tosses you the Vorpal socket

Which was the artifact you were trying to retrieve I catch it you catch it in a terrarium On either side of the slain Queen's throne You see several nomist children. Her princes and princesses scream Get them get them. You're not getting escape And you see the guards rushing towards you, but as they rush towards you They slip in a huge pile of greasy jam and all fall Allowing you to escape. That was my jam plan. I cast shield on myself and hold up the back to protect my new friends And that is the memory of your first mission

Onyx bolstered by those good vibes and good tidings from the past You snap out of this memory And you're back in the battle It is not chaos. It is beauty, and it is wild. Woo! Jens does a little dance. Did you see what was going on in my head? No, you just said that cool thing.

So I figured I'd put an exclamation point on it. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll floss about it. I'd prefer if you didn't dance, brother. A different dance brother you say? There was never a question about if it was chaos. It's clearly not chaos. Chaos is when you flip out and do sick shit. I don't know what that was. That was you just saying something dumb. Gorlow killed him them You want to see six shit. I do a really technical tap that's not like fancy at all. It's just hard I just sort of spin around Jen's hype manning it. Oh my god. I hype it as well What do you just stop it? Stop doing that. Stop shimmying! I hate it!

Gorlo cut off his ankle so he can't shimmie! No! You see Gorlo, just their heart heavy with remorse, tries to resist Verilis's pull one more time. If they can resist this time, the battle will be over. Sweet. That's an 18. That's not enough. No!

Thanks! I knew he wasn't with us. I'm so sorry! No, you're not. I want to be Ron! I want to be Ron! Honestly, I hate to keep saying this. Ron is over. The fun thing is kind of...

That's kind of the thing here, Gorlo. What? And who will I be? I can't be Gorlo, I've already forsaken that name. We're honestly gonna kill you, it doesn't totally matter, yeah. Be whatever you'd like. That's kind of the beauty of it, right? Well, I guess I feel a little better about striking you now.

Yeah, it's fine. You suck. And we never like to, right, brother. That's right. Oh no Gorillow crit! Yikes! Oh on who? On Jins! Oh! He hate to see it. Why did we bring this dude? He was huge! You can't even the street. Then we blacked out. We took a nap. We appeared in the tower and we had a dream and then we got close to describing stuff that you did. No, actually Naya Gisdrew. We are triplets. We share one memory. One heart, one life, one brain. That's one brain between the three of us.

Jens, does a 15 hit you first and foremost? No. Okay, so they missed their first attack. Good. But then Absolutely wallop me. Yeah, with Verlis's Influence burrowing deeper and deeper into their brain. They pull at some but then absolutely wallop me. Yeah, with Verlis's influence, burrowing deeper and deeper into their brain, they pull at some deep strength pool and they crit on these, and they're going to do it. I avoid the first attack by doing a split, completely opening up my crotch to the second attack.

Okay. Careful of your shaft, brother. Oh no! They hit you with a fireball punch for 24 points of damage. Okay. I've been better, but I'm alright That does bring us to Nyax turn oh sweet Get revenge I Will so I am going to spin around behind Jens and fire my arrow just over his shoulders. As if I'm training him to fire an arrow,

I just want to be that close to my brother. I whisper witness this. How original. I've never heard anything like that. The first time I said that, that is a 21 and a 23 to hit. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, those both hit. Okay, that's 23 damage.

Great. Gorlo is still looking firm, but is a little shaken. Number one by his friends betraying him and also by the indecision and his heart, and also by arrows.ecision in his heart and also by arrows. You've made your decision. All right, that is Jinn's turn. You're all just getting a free round on Gorlo.

Great. All right, you know what Gorlo? I feel bad for you, dude. You do? Yeah, but mostly you're just seem really solid and it feels like we're just gonna keep whacking at you and I am made of rock Yes, um, I'm good. What did you mean solid but in like a buddy way, right? Don't be soft on him brother. No, don't give me wrong We're gonna this just makes an eye act look bad

We're gonna leave him here in the city. I'm petty. I am small. We're gonna leave him here. Don't worry But we're gonna bring him back to our side first I'm gonna use my only six level spell of the day Woo! And I'm gonna cast auto-zero-resistible dance on beautiful Gorlo So you start dancing Gorlo falls in right beside you. Wow, lock step. This is what I wanted, most of all, just friends to dance with,

just friends to vibe with, to freak out a little bit with, to get a little nasty with, right? He tries to make out with you a little bit. Whoa, Gorlow, come on, what? Not yet. Not as hot as that moment would keep. Not yet because a really tight lip smile. Nice, nice, cool.

I'm glad we're all getting along again. Gorlow, you're made of rocks, man. It's no tender, no-mish kiss. You're right, you're right. He puts lip gloss on. OK. Awesome. So with Gorlow turned to your side once more,

you have defeated the failed champions. In your mind, you see Verlyse's pulsing glance gaze over the battlefield that has fallen champions. Incredible. Even in your darkest memories, you're all together, helping each other to survive. Collecting new friends as you go. Laughing, dancing, living another day. It's truly wonderful.

Don't you see? This is what I was trying to achieve. Imagine if you channeled all the pain that you've experienced into something productive What you see, this is what I was trying to achieve. Imagine if you channeled all the pain that you've experienced into something productive, something wonderful. This is your last chance. Join with me and remake the world, or perish. What is the world that you wish to make? Because you talk about making a new world,

but I'm curious to hear your pitch. Yeah, if you're so big, pitch- I know you said you're an ideas guy, so lay the ideas on the table. Just a hotel elevator pitch. I'm less of a pitch guy and more of like the behind the scenes guy. I like to get a think-t and then we pitch the pitch again again It's just like every time I say okay. What are you bringing to the table?

You pivot to get out of whatever work I'm asking I like to get the guys together to make the tables What I'm saying like there's no table in the room, but I'm providing the room did you design the table? Why would I design the table when I know guys that can design the table is what I'm saying here? Okay, are we still an initiative or can I do something? You're still an initiative. Okay. So eventually Verlis gets tired of prattling on and says you know what maybe Maybe you're just not getting it yet. Maybe you need to be a part of my think tank. Maybe you need to get in the room with me and we can really hash this out.

How does that sound? Yeah, I'll go to the room where you're going. I'm not afraid. Alright. Let's not, Onyx. I was just gonna say that didn't sound like a great pitch. Yeah, I was gonna say I don't want to go in the crystal. Yeah, okay. My friends don't want to go. We are not going to your room.

Right? I turn around with a thumbs up, but insecure. No, I'm gonna go because she wanted to go originally and I wear triplets and we share a brain and We all want to go. I mean if you want to go we all have one heart, so what one body? If we're gonna decide whether or not to go in a crystal with a crazed god, then it's too late I Will force you to enter the room and you're not allowed to leave until you come up with a good enough idea for why I should let you go. Oh no. So now, enter my room and let the brain storm begin! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This could have been an email! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's the good one, Jens.

Verlyss lets out a massive laughing roar. The cracks in the crystal deepened as psychic winds stab at you like daggers, slowly stripping away every last shred of reality until all that's left is darkness. And then, after a moment of calm, you awake, surrounded by the familiar sight of the one bedroom apartment you all share. I told you that I would bring you to a room, but I didn't specify which one. I'm sorry.

Have you been living in our apartment too? In a manner of speaking. Okay, because you have to pay rent. The other guys are cool now, but you have to pay rent. That would actually be very helpful. And that's where we'll end our session. Can't believe I saw that cliffhater. Is he going to pay rent or is he gonna pay rent or not?

No, it's pretty rent! 1 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 You will have to tune in next week to find out if Verlyse is going to chip in on that lease. He's got to split it with Jen's 50-50. He's not fair otherwise. It's just 50-50. That is true. This is what Verlyse wanted all along was just some roommates that he can fraud out of paying all of his rent. Well, I just want to say thank you all very much for playing with me. That was very, very fun.

Thank you, don't go wrong. Thank you. Always such a pleasure. I'm so excited for y'all to get to hang out in your apartment and for nothing to go wrong. Yeah, I'm feeling that that's a fifth episode. It's gonna be. Yeah. Let's just watch Netflix. What am I gonna do with it?

So I should probably be prepared to start next episode with like a long rest. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, everyone just gonna like hang out on the couch. Let's crack a bottle of wine. Just kick back. And you know what, while we're there,

we'll raise those glasses of wine and give some shout outs to some very special friends. I'm talking of course about Henry A A for their D&D Beyond subscription. Trevor Lyon for producing our show, Daniel Ramos for Sound Mixing and Music. You can find Trevor on Twitter at Lyon at large and you can find Daniel on Instagram at Dr. Schubert and their website, DanielRamos.com. Also thank you so much to Yins Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode.

Yins also lives in your apartment now, and they stay up very late practicing their beautiful music. It's wonderful, but very loud. And if you wanna hear the short rest that we do after every episode of the show, you can find that on our Patreon, that's patreon.com slash nad pod. Yeah, baby. My friends, please, please do not sing yet.

Oh, okay. I was about to tell them about where they can find you on Twitter. Please do. That's right. You can find Murf at CH Murf. Emily is at eXford. Jake is at jkerowitz and I am at call D. You can also tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod.

That's in a ddp.od Oh We are we are Thank you for the donation We are we are Thank you for the donation Ha ha ha It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent

council of elders. Starting with Jeffrey S. Andrew M. Beardman Dan, Brad D. Cutter W. and Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Angel investors who just funded Verlis' new startup, they don't actually know what his startup does, but the V-man slayed it in the room so they're willing to give them a few months to figure it out. Also, they are actual angels. Nice. Denny P, Dylan P, Alainacy, Haldor, Frostback, Steelbreaker, and John S. Schubert, the

mushroom. Six hot new runs that are quickly climbing the Step Dad Ladder. Ooh, the Step Dadder. Why not? These Stepdad's know how to floss, do the Na Na and they're all great listeners. Watch the throne, okay Ron. Jordan DJ, Scott D, Adam R,

McSeligis, Michael McD, Bell Norseboy, and Jive G, the Breffrin, Janitors, who make sure all the Delirios, Curios, Vending Machines are restocked. It's a tough job, but you get all the Butterfinger babies you can eat. That's right, too. Yeah, sure, that's how that works. Justin, I, Elena, M, Jacob, C, Damiel, R, Josh, S, and TJM, the Nome Barbarian, members of NIAC's Ranger Support Group. They meet once a month to talk about the difficulties of being a long-range fighter with low AC. Their motto is, having a bow shouldn't make you feel low.

Destiny's Sea, Traile the Kray-Fay, Sergio Cella's Arsene, Succharias De Siquani, Kelvin Noodles and Michael L. Other spirits trapped in Onyx's sole cage, they all possess forbidden knowledge that is beyond priceless, but if we're being honest, Onyx is probably gonna end up sailing them to Nook's cranny for the extra bells. Richardx, Machina, Adam H. Trash the Traveler, Jory S. and Ryan, the curators of the Tri-Tower Museum. Their days are split between sourcing new artifacts to display and responding to angry yelp comments about the giant madness inducing crystal prison that now sits in their lobby.

Troy McC, Mike H, Nicholas C, Sam L, and Samuel B, Obsidian's Monocorn Acapella group for their first and only performance they sang, Mia, at Pollock State, honestly supposed to film the concert but claim she forgot to hit record. Zolo, Zolo, Austin, MR, Gage, M, Colton, B, Curtis, S, and Yen, it's Christian T, a group of purple worms that were actually impressed by Niax worm. It's almost like doing accents, the less stereotypical, the more authentic, so Niax may not have been doing a good worm by human standards, but he was truly moving like a worm.

Matthew E. Andrew B. Reese and S. Eric and Andrea B. Kaley Elise and Jordan L. Retrieval team 2, an absolute train wreck of drama and infighting, but they did coin the phrase, shout out to the two crew. Matt M. Barnes and Adir, C.C. Lulu, Jared E. J. and Taleth X, the gorillas that were about to swoop in and defend Niaq before Jens did. Imagine if Niaq just had a crew of cool gorillas instead of a half-brother who caused him half-stranger. Christopher B, Dana G, Joe McGee, Persephone, AidenrH, and Austin C, The Clockwork Queen's team of medical professionals.

Technically, they are licensed horologists, but in a steam punk world, they are doctors. Shanoobi, Eric G. Aaron S. Lucas B. Luke H. N. Timmy R. The dance team that is credited with discovering Otto's irresistible dance. Did you know that the Otto in the title refers not to a single person, but to a dance team? Well, now you do! Zach C. Devin W. Michelle O. Dan and Caleb L. The Manufacturers of Terrariums, which are terrariums exclusively designed to capture souls but can be used for hermic crabs as well. Omri M. Maxwell C. Mike K. Steven C. and Nikki W. The zoologists that identify all the strange creatures that come into Onyx's Menashry. They are covered in poisonous bites and their

nightmares are filled with the shrieking of moonicorns. Grace G. Karen T. Shane B. Kevin M. Mateo C, and Raoul. And the moderators of the Boomer humor page on Trinstagram, they all have all your parents favorite memes from Minion Rons to Lullcats that still have the funny junk stamp. Maribel the Kitty Morphing gnome, Angel B, Esmi M, I am the atlas, Michael C, Nicholas P, a dance troupe of Crystal Monster tap dancers. Their recent show, Tapin' on the Rocks, was rated five stars by Blavin, who admittedly was pretty drunk when he saw it. Robert F. Kristen P. Atticus C. Kazmir, the all-knowing, Meta Amps and Chris R. Members of the

audience in Jen's Nightmare, who pelted him with star bananas. You're lucky he doesn't know Papa, or you'd all be in serious legal trouble. Michael K.M. Panama James, Eric McD, Nathaniel P. and Nick B. Verlis's fellow ideas guys who meet once a week over hard kombucha just to throw shit against the wall and see what sticks. Together they have done zero work and collected $40 billion. Nick L. Jack L. Y. Greck 32, temporal, burly Burley T. and Christian A. Riders of the hit Trinny Valyan movie Space Jam. Trinny Valy's version does not star Michael Jordan, but rather an astronaut Nyak who slips on Intergalactic Jam and is sucked into a black hole.

Jay Dragonborn, Jonathan O. Michael M. The Red Rain and Drew Nasty, the designers of Gens extremely expensive boots. Unfortunately, for them, Jen's exclusively shoplifts, so they haven't made any money. KJ, Joseph A, Hordofo, Amy W and Dave H. The vocal coaches that Onyx hired for Obsidian. Unfortunately, they've only succeeded in strengthening the volume and delivery of obsidian. volume and delivery of obsidian. even more confused, but when he finally started attacking them, it all made sense again. Nick W. Ryan W. Victoria D. Axel A. Stephanie Kuh Christian S. and David T. The purveyors of Nyaxe Magic Sunblock, it resists a certain type of damage each day, but one thing it never blocks is UV rays, so you should also wear non-magic SPF 50. Katherine S. Paul G. Shadow, Michael C. T. Ben A. Douglas A. and Nathan, new followers of

Jen's Lindell official. All of them just use Jen's coupon code for gut health vitamins and an untested CBD oil as well. Thank you for enabling him. Big bad John, Brittany B. Emilio D. Frankie Koala, Gareth Theok, Keith F. Jr. and Keith K, Verlis' Board of Directors, every ideas guy needs a faceless board of other big picture thinkers above them. You can always count on these fine folks to ask tough questions like, is it scalable? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The Sims, Burz Guy 96, The Undead Incinerator, Cody B, Felix F, James R, and Mike A, Keychains,

Keychains. None of them turn into a robot in the same way, but they are all fuzzy and eclectic, which is absolutely almost as cool. Mike A is a Lanyard, which is also fine. David K, Pipe Sage, Anthony, Richard J.M., Aston S, Cody C. and Congratulations For Us D, Nyaxe, Dancing Instructors. Each of them would be floored to see how inelegantly he's doing the worm just scraping his sternum on a K-floor.

Thankfully, they also taught Gens, and he's performing admirably. I love the name Congratulations For Us D. for us. Fatty Daddy 187, John, Mick M, Christina B, Marlow E, Raphael O, Shawn W, and Sir Cadvan. Obsidians Horn polo-shers, they are responsible for obsidian's gleaming horn and are sadly all-defend by the ear-splitting whale obsidian makes when their horn is being polished. MAAAAAAA! That seems like a great way to end up. Yeah, thank you guys all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers, our listeners, and all of our Council of Elders.

We will catch you guys next time. Bye, babies. That was a hate-gum podcast. That was a Hate Gum podcast.