Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 16: Apartment Amuck!

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

Trapped in a psychic version of their studio apartment, the Trinyvale Trio match wits with the chaotic crystal entity known as Vurliss. Nyack shows off his art collection, Jens embraces positivity and Onyx gets a makeover as the saga of the shard comes to a thrilling conclusion!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design & Engineering by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG)MUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "The Road to Silverado" by Daniel Ramos"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum“The Wisdom of Neddas“ by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinnavale. It's like a tap dance in my brain every time. Like some little Jinslandels just going to town on my cerebral cortex. We should morph it from like monster drug rally to tap dance. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, can become brothers, and three random people can just decide to be triplets. Damn right. Today's story begins in two places. Our first setting is the lifeless city of the periphera, where the Trinneville Trios

bodies stand motionless before an enormous pulsing crystal. The second setting is within. As our brave triplets recover some semblance of consciousness, they realize that they have been trapped by Verlyse inside a perfect facsimile of the one bedroom studio apartment they all share. Will our fearless flatmates manage to eject their unwanted tenet, or will they permanently lose their lease on life? Only time will tell, and so without further ado, let's rejoin Retrieval Team 22 and begin

Chapter 16 of the Trinneville Adventure! Woohoo! Yay! Alright, hello friends, and welcome back to the table! I am your dungeon master aka. a dunkel called well Tanner and I am joined by Jen's Lindell one part of a triplet with a bad guy in his apartment Very staccato. This is very good. Jen was okay. It was okay. It was about the rhythm, you know?

Oh, Annex Lumiere, Stealer of Souls with a municorn that rolls. That's right. Obsidian's got Elys. That's really good. And I didn't remember, I look, I abso firm from doing the worm, Nya of the Rannapur.

Oh! It was a good, I really, I never know. That doing the worm. Nah, of the ran up. Oh! Is it good? I really, I never know. That's pretty good. Beautiful. Because I thought that number one with a mullet was perfect and I got shitted on. I mean, you're saying you do these enough,

you're just gonna come up with one that you love, but you have to make more. Yeah. They're forgotten week to week. That's why I reminded everyone of number one with a mullet this week. This is the evolution of Jake from Hard One just saying his name to saying one pretty good one and then complaining it didn't get enough credit for him.

This is why I always did Hard One chore foot, nothing else. It's difficult as an artist, you must put your ego aside many times. Impossible. A serious growth for sure. Y'all, I know you're excited to begin this apartment adventure, but first, how about a quick recap? Okay! Please.

Alright. When last we met, U3 came face to face with a demonic demigod known as Verless. From within his crystal prison, the chaotic titan summoned his three failed champions to fight in his stead. Onex teamed up with a shard minion Gorlow, aka Ron of the Lake, and made quick work of their wizard. However, the tides of battle shifted quickly when Verly's used his psychic abilities to

trap Jins in a prison of his own past memories, forcing him to relive the day he pricked the Prince of Ilavas over and over. Pelted by a never-ending wave of Elven's star bananas, Ow! Jinz nearly gave in to despair, but at the last moment he remembered the truth of this memory and was saved by Onyx disguised as an Elven soldier. You're welcome. My triplet's sister.

One heart. Very unstable. Biologically unstable. Frustrated with Jen's mental fortitude, Verlis then laid a mind-trapped for Nyak, who's transported back to his first day in Vena Larr. Meanwhile, in the real world, Jen's and Onyx continued to battle the shard minions

using a combo of irresistible dancing and soul-stealing terrariums. This is actually quite accurate, yeah? Eventually, Nyak remembered Jens coming to rescue him from his city gorilla Asalits and was able to break free from his memory prison as well. Viralist retorted by trapping Onyx in her recollections of the day she killed the nomish queen. Luckily, Onyx was once more able to fight against his chaotic influence, and remember Jins and Niac coming to her rescue. The gang then fought back against Viralist's mental warfare

by exposing him for the idea stealingstealing boomer that he really is. A villain we can all fucking hate. You three then dealt the finishing blow to his self-esteem by declaring that Ron memes were over. As the cracks in his crystal prison deepened, the demigod retaliated with a final psychic attack. And that's where we are now. Somehow, Verlis has trapped you in a perfect mental replica of Jin's studio apartment in Vainelar. The room is just as you left it. On the couch you see a nest of pastel clothing and miniature helios.

Nearby, a flashy purple curtain separates a small bed from the rest of the house. It's a really small bed, a twin, not extra long either. It's when it best. We are triplets, but we have a twin. Outside on the balcony, a hammock sways gently in the breeze. I sleep under that. After a moment, you hear a knocking at the door. Hello?

Hello? Mr. Lindell? Are you in there? Niax, somebody's at the door. Mr. Lindell, are you there? Mr. Lindell answered door, please. All right, I go up to the door and I look through the eyehole. Through the eyehole, you see Draco Serpinski, your Dragonborn landlord. Oh god.

He's wearing a bright red tracksuit and a fancy golden watch, which shines in the sun as he knocks repeatedly on your door. I see you see me, I see you see me, let me in! Yes, um, here's the thing about the rent. As you all know, there is a sleeping God, and the world is in kind of a tough spot. So if I could have till, let's say, the 20th of next year. Next month.

Oh, next month, yeah, that one's good too. He knocks so hard that his fist goes through the door and he reaches inside and unlocks it and lets himself in. Well, you're gonna have to fix that because technically I don't own this, so you've just damaged your own property. This is, you think I do not know this, this is serious business.

This is not even about Rint, Jinslanddale. You have two to three other roommates. You do not tell me about. What I say about roommates, huh? You said that I could have one roommate and instead I have a robot and four other roommates. Technically, I'm a roofmate. You tell me time and time again.

I have no friends. I have no lovers. I am alone. I am all alone. But now I see, yes, all these people. You have the robot? I see little nomish man come and go sometimes. Ha ha.

I see moon woman. And I see jungle boy on the roof. Who are all these people? They should be paying rent too. This is not the terms of our agreement jeans I'm sorry, mr. Landlord. Am I not allowed to have parties in my little apartment? No, you can have party jeans lendale, but when party does not leave that is violating tinets agreement Here's the thing you need to understand I am a sword dancer and when you are Lord of the dance, the party never ends.

Now, X starts flossing on the roof. I try to impress him with a beautiful ribbon dance. No, stop it. It's hitting my face. I'll get the ribbon out of my face. Yes, he swat it the ribbon and tries to get rid of it. This is not terms of our agreement. If all these people live here, then you don't pay rent.

You pay triple rent, okay? Well, it's the same amount of space, so. All right, that's it. I'm throwing you out. Draco lunges towards you, but at the last moment, a crystal blade juts through his sternum. Ah! Triple rent! That's actually a big help for you to kill our landlord.

That's overkill, though. We could have worked it out. I think we could have talked him down. He was starting at three times the rents, but... Fine, we'll pay two times. Get up, man. You know, shit. We can meet in the middle. Oh my God.

Ha ha ha. As he falls to the ground, you see the culprit standing before you. His cracked face now stained with blood. You see, even in this memory, you're all working together to triumph over uncertainty. It's beautiful. With you on my side, I'd be unstoppable. This is the light I was trying to cultivate.

And if you can't see that, and I'm afraid I have no choice. But to snuff it out. Yes, we totally see how cool we are and how good we work together. But what do you do? Honestly, if you can't figure that out, then I don't want you on Team Verless. Okay, cool. Let us out. I don't want to be on anything that has like a matching t-shirt poorly printed.

Can you like revive our landlord and just like put him in one of your weird memory things? I mean, I don't like him. We're done talking about this! If you can't hack it in the room, then you deserve to die in the room! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha As Verilis laughs, his body begins to melt. Slowly his form seeps into the floor of your apartment, merging with the wood until it's gone. That's not gonna come out as it. You're still an initiative? Onyx, it is your turn, but before you go, why don't you all take a look at this map I'm sending over on the Discord. Ooh!

Thank you. It's our studio apartment. Yeah, there it is. It looks really nice. It's nice for one person, maybe. Knowing that Onyx sleeps on a love seat makes me really worried for her posture. How's that lumbar?

She's a sloucher for sure. So okay where is Verlis is in the Verlis sunk into the floorboards? Yes. Okay and I'm looking at this map. I know I have my wish baby but I don't think I want to I'm kind of saving that for like a free rivivify someday, so I will not. So he was not in a crystal, he was just, did we see him in like a humanoid form? Yes. I am going to query soul. I'm going to ask the soul that's in my terrarium.

Hell yeah. And this is like, you ask a soul question, no action required, and receive a brief telepathic answer which you can understand regardless of the language used. The soul knows only what it knew in its life but it must answer you truthfully into the best of its ability. The answer is no more than a sentence or two and it might be cryptic. I took the soul of the which soul did I take it was the hand. The hand. Yeah, that's right. Okay hand. How might Verlis sink into the floorboards? What spell or ability would cause Verlis to sink into the floorboards? You see the hand still dancing in their little terrarium. By the way, there's a castle you if you want to be the king. Beautiful. They think for a that and then they respond.

I'm really only, I don't have. But, the more they speak, the clearer it becomes. And they say, Burles has control of your mind. They are not in the floorboards. They have merely made it up here. So, you must dispel their illusions. They hide, but they can be seen.

Okay. Check this out. They start dancing. That's really good. You're a really good dancer. That's a really good, very jumpy. I think I'm going to, that's really good information. I passed that along, and then I'm just going to try to hit the floorboards.

Okay. Ha ha. Does it? Do you want me to hit? A 20, yes, does hit the floorboards. Okay, I attack the floorboards with my first attack. Did you say to attack the floorboards that he's in the floor? How this for an illusion, you piece of shit? Are we supposed to like look

around to see if anything's different or something? I have another attack! I will attack the refrigerator next! Wait the refrigerator I think is normal! Leave the sink for me! I got 11 damage on the floorboards and now I'm gonna attack the fridge? What? You smash into the floorboards, revealing a small hole, within which you see a weird stash of a Elven pornography. What? Niaq. It is mine. It's mine.

There is a hollowness in your eyes when you say that. He's a shave. I am so ashamed. More than you'll know, brother. More than you'll know brother more than you could know And then I attack the fridge I got a 30 more elephant pornography falls out of the freezer Naya also mine I Hided everywhere. What can I say if a 30 hits the fridge I do 12 You fuck up your fridge. I gotta be honest. I've never gone to a tech Fertiture really before and this is kind of fun

So I just wanted to go for it. What's the HP on the fridge? Really else like is that a Bosch or is that like a Fisher pay tell? It is absolutely a low-end fridge. When you hit it so much ice just shoots out of the ice maker on the front, which is funny because that's never worked before. Yeah, it hasn't worked. You fixed it, Onyx. Thank you.

You are welcome. As you hit this fridge and the ice sp everywhere, causing you to slip on the floor, and as you fall, you hear verless whisper in your mind. Ah, ha, ha, ha, guess again. He didn't seem to think I was absolutely off-base by attacking the furniture, just so everyone knows. I think we need to attack specific things on it. I did. I attacked the floor. I attacked a fridge. That's true. I am confused what I did wrong. When you say attack the furniture, you see the little hand in your

Terrarium gives you a thumbs up. I got a thumbs up from that hand. So you used your action to destroy your fridge and put a hole in the floor. Yeah, I destroyed the fridge and the floorboard. I will say to anyone else, I am looking at this map and there is a mirror on there that seems like where bad guys hide, but... The Ferris. I was a bit impulsive and attacked the first thing I saw. Okay. That brings us to Nyax turn. I think I might cast Spike Growth.

Oh, interesting. In case he's stuck in the floor board somewhere, I'm gonna try to get Spike. He's not in the floor board. Nyax, I did just fuck up the floor. I'm gonna do Spike Growth under the floor, but right where the mirror is. Okay. Okay, yeah, you cast Spike Growth.

You hear Verilis go, you could have gotten in on the ground floor of Verilis Incorporated. I feel like he's really telling us to go after the floor. So you cast Spike Growth, you see these big vines shoot up out of the floor. You see several porno's attached to the thorns of the vines. Mine, mine, mine. That was also mine. Yes. Again, that hollow look in your eyes. You're all mine.

Yeah, you see long-eared lads and silven sweeties. I'm surprised that I collected so much. What can I say? Niaq, you're into the vintage stuff. Interesting. That's fine. If anyone finds something with norms, I wouldn't mind taking a break.

Does that spell do damage? Yes. Only if they move, right? Yes. Wait, that's not smart. He's not like crawling around the fucking floorboards. Like a god, they have bad guy in whole below. I thought he was going to get brought up by spikes under the floor.

It's a fucking barrage, guys. He's just a fucking ghost, who's in this apartment somewhere. Yes, so the ground in a 20-foot radius centered on a point with enraged twists and sprouts, hard spikes and thorns. The area becomes difficult to rain for the duration. Ha ha! Do you say Enthorns or Enporns? Porny Thorns.

Porns and Thorns. Yeah, it is covered in thornography now. But it doesn't actually do damage to anything? Oh, no, they take a D4, 2D4 piercing damage for every five feet. They travel. Of movement. So again, I guess I'll say because you're making the thorns

jut up from the ground that the mirror will be tossed into the air, and then it will take damage. The mirror will take damage. How much damage? Five damage on that mirror. Five damage, one second. You see the mirror fly up into the air and then land in this bramble of thorns. It gets scraped up a little bit, but the mirror is still intact. Okay, well keep in mind if the dresser or the bed moves into that area, they're gonna take damage to.

You see them thinking about it. You see the dresser is like my brother the mirror. I must come to your eight. I To know what it's like to have a brother Did not temporarily think they lived in a beauty in the beast apartment where all of the furniture was real. I think so Awesome, Jens, that's your turn. How do you fuck up the apartment? I'm going to do like an investigation check or something, open cabinets, look in the mirror. You don't have to act like, I mean, I talked to this guy, you know, like I did you my thing. Right, I do a walk around the apartment and I guess don't get close enough to the mirror to hit the thorns, but jump up on my bed and I guess angle my head to look into the mirror.

Okay, as you're going towards the bedroom. Yeah, I assume we're in like the front door, right? Yes. So I'm just going to kind of scan the rooms. I'm going to look at the kitchen on my right and look into the living room on my left. Give a cursory glance to the bathroom, but really the mirror is my focus. You're going to the mirror. So this apartment for our listeners at home is basically divided into four quadrants. If

you look at it like a blueprint, the kitchen is in the upper right, bathroom is in the upper left, bedroom is in the lower left, and the living room and balcony are on the lower right. So, Jens, you are walking into the bedroom, but you're near the door to the toilet. Great. Why don't you give me a investigation check? Okay. Don't have great investigation, but let's see. Oh, baby, that's a dirty 20. Fuck yeah. So with the dirty 20, you scan this area, you look in the mirror, you don't see any fractal resonance, no like polygonal residue that might indicate that Verless was here. You don't feel like Verlis is anywhere in the bedroom right now.

But with the 20, I'll allow you to ask one question about where you think you might be in the apartment. Great. I have a sneaking suspicion that this dirty brat is in the bathroom. Interesting. I was leaning towards the TV, but call for it. Hmm. He is not in the bathroom. Interesting. I was leaning towards the TV, but go for it. Hmm.

He is not in the bathroom. Okay. With that 20, you do like a super wide lunge from where you were before into the bathroom and you don't see anything in there. Can I still do an action? Yeah. Sweet. I will take Onyx's advice, and I'm gonna cast

dispel magic on the TV. Woo. Okay. You cast that spell. You fire off a bolt of disarming magic at the TV. It flickers on for a moment. And at first the program that comes on seems normal. It's like a home improvement show.

Uh. With Lika. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I was going for HGTV but no I like that more you see it's Tim Allen's over proven I assume you see Al Borlin on screen but then whoops slowly into Chris style Borlin whoa I actually do not know who this is referencing follow up play and home improvement great Great wraps. You applied so current. I have many blind spots when it comes to cultural milestones.

I don't know if I'd call home improvement of a bar. If you really put 82 in TGIF, fucking get at me. So you do see Kristal Borland on the screen, and you see you stare into his eyes, and you see the crystal pattern on his eyes tries to hypnotize you and bring you in but with this dispelled magic the TV shorts out and Fals over and does shatter. Whoa. It seems like

Verlis had enchanted the TV to do something but you effectively disarmed it. Okay, so that was a weapon But not Verlis the search continues. was a weapon, but not verilis. The search continues. The search continues, but now it is verilis' turn to act. I'm actually, I'm gonna give a bonus action, Bartik Inspiration to Onyx. Awesome. Aw, thank you.

That was a good idea, the TV thing. I'm, I throw up a little as I say this. I'm sorry I was rude and I devalued you. Ugh! I rush over to Onyx and I say, what did it feel like? His approval. Do you remember we were talking about the light shining on you?

Yes. It feels like I walked into the sun. Nioch faint. Jins, is that your turn? Yes. All right. Now, as a legendary action, I'm gonna go ahead and have Verlis use their

psychic shard ability. Does a 18 hit? I'm gonna use shield. Nice. You block that attack, you see these like psychic shards appear all around you and start, but you're able to block them with a shield very quickly. I'm protected by my thornography.

Except it's Niax, thornography, brother. Just a hurricane of porno. I apologize. Swirling around you majestically. These are vintage from the original high-yielding society. So is it pornography or is it just like a collection? It's pornography, brother. Well, you would know it's fine. I'm insatiable. It's yours. So you would know. All right. And that brings us to Verlis's turn. Once again, you hear him whispering in your mind.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Nice work, Jens. Such a patron of the arts. Ha, ha, ha. I must say you were so close when you guessed the TV. And then you see the couch jumps up and down and starts like shimmying to face you. It kind of like whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Hops towards you, Jens.

And it's cushions tilt into a big face Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho- Um, Verlis can only do this once for the entire session. I'm gonna roll a D100 to see how much change is in the couch Okay, and you will take whatever damage comes out of this you are allowed to do a deck save. That's a 18 to save. Okay Fuck I rolled so bad 12 12 woof You take 54 points of coin damage. I'm down, y'all. Brother!

Ha, ha, ha, ha! This is what you get. You had your chance! You could have been on my street team! You could have been part of my squad! Are you still saying squad, man? Ha, ha, ha! The wrong jokes, the squad references, what are we, your fam?

I'm knocked out in covered in pornography. I don't know if he went unconscious or he just went limp after a good time. And that brings us to Onyx. Okay. Onyx will go over and put her healing hands on Jen. Oh, thank you. Bringing him back pastel unicorns. Join all of the pornography.

Oh my God. And you are healed by naked, elephant bodies and pastel unicorns. For only 11, I don't really heal that much, but I just wanted to bring you back up. Oh, the sweetest dream. And then that's my action, but can I still get

like an object interaction? Yes, absolutely. I would like to rip the rug off of the floor. Ooh, awesome. There's a hole in the floor and he's skittering around on there. I don't know, you never know what it might reveal. You see him down there just like housing fried chicken. What?

Okay, so you pull the rug up? Yeah, it's because it's the closest thing to wear genses and add to heal him, so. As you do that, you see the couch hops around to face you and goes, huh? Nice try. Oh, lay. Looks like you're a medidor. What's going on? Very fun.

Very funny. Why would I be a medidor? Oh, because of the rug. I see, look secure. Are you a Matador? What's going on? Very fun. Very funny. Why would I be a Matador? Oh, because of the rug I see I see I could be a Matador although I do sympathize with the bowl Anyways, I'm gonna tap this soul in my terrarium to get some hit points Which is another thing I can do with my cash soul tell you what you messed with this bowl. You're gonna get the horns Okay, yeah, okay. This is is a bull I would not mind a spirit. Call me Epme Bull. You see Verilis flashes a very low resolution meme of a big dog saying, if you messed with the bull,

you get the horns. Oh. Like Pitbull, that's actually somewhat cute. Yeah, it is Pitbull with horns photoshopped on him. So I use my bonus action to get from the sole cage to steal life. As a bonus action, you can drain 2D8 hit points and I got 12 extra hit points.

Awesome, very cool. So my bonus action, my object to draw action was a rug and then my action was healing hands on gems. Cool, what do you do to this rug? You just pull it up or do you do anything with it? I rip it up and I assume the posture of a matador. Okay. All right, cool.

Great. Yeah, you try to draw attention to you with the rug. Yes, Verlis, still in this couch kind of turns his eye or towards you. You see this like big, stupid cushion face laughing your direction. Oh, I see. Let us tango. And as a legendary action, you see this polygonal shimmer jump from the couch and spin around the room and then it disappears from sight.

And he is hidden somewhere else in the apartment. That damn it. All right, that's gonna be Nyax turn. Nyax attacks the couch. Please don't. Was Verlis holding anything that we saw? He had a sword. Do you have anything range-or-wise to like, Mark? Yeah, I'm gonna cast Locate Objects on Verlis's sword. There you go.

That's very good. Yeah. Hell yeah. It only took me one full round to find something useful to do. So I'll say, yes, you, oh, because the sword is made from the same crystal as Onyx's flail. So you have the object there. So with Onyx's permission, I imagine you

like take a look at her flail, you assess this crystal, and then you cast locate object. I feel his eyes on my flail and I get shy. Flail shot. Oh, they see you want to see this? How does that work specifically, Naya? Describe or name an object that is familiar to you. You sense the direction to the object's location as long as that object is within 1000 feet of you. If the object is in motion, you know the direction of its movement.

The spell can locate a specific object known to you as long as you've seen it up close within 30 feet at least once. Yeah, there you go. That's so good. So like, even in this like invisible form, he's essentially using a combination of teleport and ult herself to hide amongst the appliances and furniture of your apartment, but the crystal is part of him. And by using Onyx's flail, you are fully able to locate where he might be in this room.

So as he leaves the couch, you cast this spell and you instantly hone in on where he's going. You see him jump from the couch into a broken drawer in the kitchen. Exactly where I would hide. I relayed that information to my brother and my sister. Verlis, I do not understand you. You get into battle just to hide a bunch. This is you got to play mind games Be careful. There's a lot of my porn in there

There's barely any forks in here We use rolled up ones like chopsticks Okay, uh, night is there anything else you want to do? Yes I'm gonna use, I'll spend a jam point and use the Dodge Action, which is a bonus action. Ooh, awesome. So that means that people will have disadvantage on hitting you now, dope. Ooh. You're just slip sliding in jam.

That is good. I have poured jam on myself. I dip my mullet in a jelly. It's beautiful. Okay, so is that your turn, is there anything else you can do? That's it, awesome. I dip my mullet in a jelly. Ha ha ha. Beautiful. Uh, okay, so is that your turn? Is there anything else you can do? Uh, that's it. Awesome. Uh, so yeah, you know that, uh,

Verlis is in this broken drawer, and that brings us to Jens. How is everybody on health? I'm good, because I just healed myself with my prisoner. Okay. Nia, what are you at? I'm at 25. I'm not too bad. Oh, okay. I mean, we're not in great shape, but I feel like we also got a decent damage.

Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. So I'm gonna make two attacks, because I'm gonna use my bonus action to healing word myself, but first things first, attack the broken drawer. Awesome. That's 18 to hit the broken drawer.

That hits, great. It feels good to smash a broken drawer, doesn't it? I know. It sounds so annoying. Nine damage. You don't destroy it. Oh. Okay, second attack.

23 to hit, that hits 11 damage. That does it, great. You manage to fully sever this broken drawer. This drawer that every time you close it, it just slowly edges back out. You've never been able to fix it and you just stopped trying eventually. It falls to the ground and as it does,

you see Verly's form thrown from it. Gah! Gah! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! Huh! All right! Whoa! You were in there? I was just frustrated. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you found me. Congratulations.

I'll give you one last shot to join my cool club. Eat my ass, dude. And you can tell from the magazines that he's into the... Oh, right. Don't you mean that I'm into that? Oh, right. I'm going to do second level healing word. Cool.

Unfortunately, since you knocked him from his hiding place, he is going to use a legendary action to take a swipe at you. Does it 20 hit? It would, if I didn't shield. Oh! But I shielded. You shield him as he thrust this crystal sword

into your face. And Jins, he looks pretty terrified at this point. Oh. What? He's vulnerable. No! You're vulnerable. You need to be in a stupid drawer, you loser.

I'm fine. I'm in your head. Oh, you're not gonna get me. We're all in our heads. We're in a fake apartment. You stupid, weird ghost. Mind. Fuck, thing.

Just listen. Again, let me out. And then you can be part of Team Verlis. We're gonna be somebody stabbing the dude. We make the world! The stabbing while he's not in the cabinet. The stab before he gets in a plan. Infinite possibilities.

Once the gods are dead, I can reign. I thought you said you were good at pitching. You'll never get away. Niaq is the greatest tracker in the studio apartment. Niaq tries to keep his eyes on Verlis, but they're full of tears. Uh, Jens, that was your turn? Yeah. Cool, so that is Verilis's turn. They are kind of backed into a corner a little bit.

You could see that this is like, this is kind of a last-ditch effort on their part. They are going to, as their action cast, twisting words on Onyx. I wish so much that I had a spellllslot lives with a counter spell it. I know I use my reaction on shield. I have reactions but I only have three spells a day. Yeah, Verlis, after his sword struck on your shield, he kind of over corrected and fell down and is like, oh, my champion, I give you one last chance to save me from these wicked intruders. This apartment could be an entire penthouse if you so choose if you get on board early with Team V.

Uh, and you're gonna need to make a charisma saving throw. Okay. You got this. I got a not one. No! So I definitely failed, but I have this bardic inspiration from Jens, so I am going to try to use it. Okay, come on. Come on, give me a 10.

I got an 8-18! That's not enough. Okay. Yeah. It was worth a try. Thank you, Jens. No problem. Whatever happens now, it wasn't your fault.

Oh, finally. Welcome to Team V, Onyx. No! Uh, Onyx, that is your turn. Uh, you are now charmed. Oh! I believe if you're charmed, that means that you have to act under my control or under Verlis's control?

Okay. So Verlis, you get to suck a little bit of creativity out of me after all, what would you wish for me to do? Give me a taste of what you will do to the world by fighting your brothers. I'll let you choose which one. I will not make that choice. I cannot make that choice. Onyx.

This pathetic, smooth-faced moonman points a shaky finger at Nyak. Oh, sister. And tells you to attack. Okay. She tells us what to do in this situation. No brother. He gives you a team V T-shirt and tells you to put it on him. Okay.

Oh no. Sister, I had matching t-shirts. We have better t-shirts. That's a 19 hit. Yes. But, but I'm covered in jam, so you must roll with Disneyland. Oh, could you take the dodge action?

Oh, this is good. That's right. I miss. Ha ha! Toos the Pre-For-You. Awesome. Ah, good thinking. Onyx, how many spells have you done in this episode?

Just the one, right? I only had one left, so I've done one. You've done one spell. Why don't you go ahead and roll a social sorcerer roll for me while we're here? Almost got an ed 20, but it ended up being an eight plus five is a 13. 13?

13 is a solid post. No effect. You're in the clear a 13. 13. 13 is a solid post. No effect. You're in the clear. Great. Awesome. And then I have to take my second attack on Niaq. Oh, I'm so sorry. Even with disadvantage, I got a 19. It is okay because I will bury Perry.

Oh! And I will raise my AC. Beautiful. So you use your reaction to boost your AC correct. Yes Hell yeah, that is one of your jam abilities You use your jam points and you slip slide away and avoid getting hit Ah your friendship has not yet ended As I clutch my mall against my own will I Through my clenched teeth. I whisper triplets share a heart.

Our brother taught me to dance. Aw. I'm weeping. We have to kill her. You shameless brother. You're like she wants to save the family. What? Finally! I'm saving her.

Finally! I'm so confused. It took all my strength, but I was able to break you. Ha ha ha! Now your TV! Give me your ideas! I gotta be honest, I'm in way over my head. I have no idea how to accomplish my plan.

I thought you were the idea guy. I got as far as collect crystals and then do something with them, but I don't fucking know, that's why I got you here. Oh God, so we are watching a panicked CEO lose everything. He sounds like we're the idea guys. Yes, ideally. This is the fire fest. See, all right. So after Onyx swipes at Nia, actually, Nia, go ahead and give me another jam roll. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's a 14. 14, you're totally fine. Threshold is at four. You do see Verlis looks nervous and then transforms into this translucent crystal

in form and then flies off in search of another place to hide. Locate objects. If you didn't take damage, locate object I think lasts like and you'll be able to continue tracking it perhaps. Look at your spouse. I'm pretty sure Locate object works like that though. Concentration up to 10 minutes, M's right. Yeah, so Locke Object should still be going. It should still be pinging where he's going. Sweet, that's so good. Fucking rad.

So I'm gonna keep on trying to find Verlysses Sword. Great, awesome. You get an instant ping. Verlysses over by the broken drawer, but he jumps now. You watch him jump over into the toilet. Cool. Our apartment is very, very small, but I run up the back of the couch and do an unnecessary misty flip into the bathroom firing both my arrows at the same time. And I'm

going to cast Hunter's mark on the toilet. Beautiful. So that is a 26 to hit and a 24 to hit. Both hit, okay. 28 damage total. You absolutely ruin this toilet. Nothing I haven't done before. You fire your arrows right into cracks in the porcelain and the toilet just explodes with a geyser of water, and you see Verlis get blown off the geyser,

boof, onto the floor right in front of you. Oh, oh, ah, another minion who wishes to join Team V. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Team V sounds so pathetic. You've got intern material written all over you, big guy! Let me guess, you want me to wander around campus passing out flyers. Straight team, baby, you're gonna get so much experience and so many stickers.

Experience. Is that your turn? That is. Great. So, I think they're gonna use their corrupting laugh to try and make Onyx use an ability So you see they shout at you on X from the bathroom. They say Onyx my assistant get in here. Freakin help me Okay, what it what happens? So you get to make another charisma save. Okay I fail. Damn. You fail.

You rush in and... I got a 17 though. That's pretty good. Yeah. You needed a 21, but that's pretty cool. I know, I know, but sometimes when you fail, like, but don't roll too bad, you still feel a little proud.

That's on the back of the team P T-shirt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and says, that boy is not team V material! Attack him! And on your next turn, you will have to attack Nya. Ah! I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. And I believe that is, Jens' turn now. Sweet, I pull out my sword.

No. I look at Onyx with tears in my eyes. The most heartbreaking thing about this, Jen, is I'm gonna have to pretend that you actually hurt me more than you would be able to. I hold the sword to Onyx and then as I go to swing, I go, oh wait, I don't want to. What?

That's what Niaq was talking about. She was saying that because she's a good friend and I'm... Okay, no, I get it. Okay, I cast a spell magic on Alex. That's growth, that's growth baby. By growth and scaric, they're growth. Oh. By growth and scaric dirt roll. Aw. Onyx, the fog lifts. Your mind is clear.

Unfortunately on Verlyss' turn, he is going to hide again. I'm going to use my bonus action to do an offhand attack on Verlyss. Fuck yes. You see him start to turn in Corporeal as he tries to hide again Go in real damage 21 to hit does that hit it does hit great Eight damage as you strike him with this somewhat puny blow You see how dare you way too much blood comes out. Whoa

Fuck shit goddamn it. What the hell dude? I'm gonna freaking sue you you're gonna sue you You're in our apartment You attack me. It's on camera. Did you see I got it on camera? We don't have a camera We don't have the money for a camera. Are you kidding me? Onyx my champion! You were filming, right? You're always filming?

Let, I look up from my phone. What? What? Uh, Jin's giving me an insight check. 12. Even with a 12, uh, you realize after stabbing this man that all of his power comes from influence, he's just got commoner stats.

Oh my god. But then after you stab him, he disappears again. God damn it. Nayak fights. Do you know where he is, Nayak? Nayak is just playing hot and cold. Yeah. All right, so Nya, you see after being stabbed, he isn't able to make it as far,

and he just hops from the toilet into the sink. Wow, you moved so slow and left a trail of blood. I don't have to use magic. God damn it, I'm a boss, I run things, okay? This is my town. Okay, I'm just gonna take an arrow, not fire it, but just sort of plunge the sink like it's a snake. Unfortunately, it is Verilis's turn.

Of course. And Niac, as you follow him with your eyes to the sink, you remember waking late at night and coming downstairs from the roof to get some water. It's seeing a big juicy cockroach climb up from the drain. And as you remember that, your greatest nightmare comes true as a plague of cockroaches emerges from the sink.

See how you like that? Yeah, that's right, you're a freaking roach. Okay, cool. It's been Grape and Family, I'm out. I'm going back to the rainforest. Peace. This is your breaking point. I'm done. I hate fucking roaches. I'm honestly really impressed. I attacked you multiple times, but you did not turn on me. But the roaches too far. A bug too far.

Even worse, now you're gonna need to make a constitution saving throw. Oh God. My constitution is not good Ooh What that's a 16 you also have Barty conspiracy. I do I I'm gonna use it so far my Barty conspiracy has not helped anyone pass. Let's hope this time is different Damn it dirty 20 Let's hope this time is different. Ah, damn it, dirty 20. Dirty 20?

God. Success! Because you only needed to get an 18. Sweet. Oh, no. So you still take damage, but only half of the cockroaches bite you. Great, okay.

God, I am, thank you, man. I'm gonna have nightmares about this. Lich it up a little bit. Hahaha. You take 25 points of cockroach damage. Wow. Niacs down. Wow.

Oh god. Ooh. You see, Niac falls. It seems at first like you fell from the damage, but in reality, he just passed out from fear. I fainted from fear. I know. Uh, and that is Onyx's turn.

You've resisted for Elyssa's pole, and you were free to act. Do I, should I be attacking the cockroaches or the sink? You know that the cockroaches are just a side effect. He's still in the sink. I would like to run the garbage disposal. It's the bathroom sink. Oh it's the bat okay I'm just going to attack the bathroom sink. Okay we don't have a garbage disposal in the kitchen either. Does I 16 hit? Yes.

Okay. Just barely. First attack is... That's porcelain, baby. A-11, second attack. 17 hit, yes it does. Just to clarify, how much damage did you do on your first attack? First 11.

11 damage? Yeah. Onyx, with your first attack you absolutely wreck this porcelain with your mall yes and you see verilis is thrown to the ground again okay my champion my champion your champion still has a second attack and then I guess I had rolled a 17 with the 17 hit Verless. Unfortunately no, he's an absolute weiner,

but he's wearing beautiful plate. Well then, your champion took her second attack and it did jack shit. It's you and me, it's you and me against the world. We got it, we got big ideas. Again, you have been in a low status position for a very long time. The V-Train's leaving the station. You're either in or out, baby. The V-Train's leaving the station.

You're either in or out, baby. The V-Train is getting its ass kicked. It's derailed. Yeah, the V-Train is derailed. All right, so with Verlis' legendary action, they realize that trying to corrupt you might be a lost cause. So they're just going to try and blindely stab you with their sword from the floor.

Oh. Yikes. Get away from me! Does the 27 hit? No. Wow. Yes, it does hit me. You take 22 points of damage.

Luckily, I have a little soul as a prisoner. I can keep buffing myself here. That's one of my guys! Give back my guy! One of your failed champions? We were working it out! It's okay to sometimes just give up on people. He was on probation!

Alright, that's their turn. Nyak, that is your turn. That's a death save. Ugh. 17. 17? My brother won't leave me down. That's a save, baby. Unfortunately, that does give Verlis a chance

to use another legendary action, and you know they're going to hide again. And locate object is gone now. That's true, shit. Wow. You see they become immaterial. You see this distortion of polygons in the air as they disintegrate and merge with another object

in your apartment. Jins, that's your turn. I am going to bonus action, healing word, naiac. Oh, I am out of first level spells, so I'm gonna do second level. Oh my god, terrible. He get a big 6 HP. Thank you brother, you honor me.

Bring Siapehack. Then I guess I'll do an investigation to try to see where you could have gone. I'll look for the trail of blood. Yeah, roll in investigation. Okay. Nat blood. Yeah, roll in investigation. Okay. Nat 20. Yeah! Oh my God.

That's right, Nat 20. Jen's is big day. Jen's is all tons that add up to 20. Nice. That's so good. With the Nat 20, you see, he became a material, but he was dripping blood, and you see the blood trail leading right towards the shower

I go Apes shit on the shower Like when I have my weeping breakdowns and I Smashes at the the glass wall, but this time I'm actually trying to break it. Do you do the leftovers punch? Yes, like in the ad for the leftovers fuck. I'm so buffed and emotional Hell yeah, all right. Yeah for the left overs. Fuck, I'm so buffed and emotional. Hell yeah, all right. Yeah, roll some damage. Sweet, I'll make a tax 16 to hit the shower. That misses.

Damn it. 19 at the shower. 19 does hit. 12 damage to the shower. The shower still stands. Damn it. That's all I can do. I shower still stands. Damn it. That's all I can do. I can't do a third attack. I use my bonus action.

Jens, that was your turn. Yes. Cool. Luckily, Verlyst is out of legendary actions. So there's nothing he can do on that front. But unfortunately, it is his turn proper. You see this laughter emanates from the shower head. It kind of warps into a smile, into a metal smile.

It's time for this filthy boy to get clean. And they are going to use steam breath on you. Yikes. I'm gonna need you to make a DC-18 deck save. 21. Awesome, you save. This is still gonna be a ton of damage of damage though great I'm gonna go down I have no way to bring up Nyak are you up I'm up I can bring him up oh

Thank the crystals the good ones not the mean ones You take 33 points of damage from the shower head cool. I am down You remember Draco Serpinski saying you supposed to be hot, which is wrong with it, it's supposed to be hot. As you fall, you complain because shower is too hot, makes no sense. You need to not have the water heater on very hot, it's dangerous. You need to put it at the regular one or at least a or b. He exfoliates, you like it. So that is Verlis's turn. They have no more legendary actions yet. Onyx, that's you. Yes, okay. You know where they are. I will attack this shower. I am going to do my bonus action to give myself advantage. Great.

I am down to, but one more use of my prisoner. I didn't get it. Oh, damn it. Well, actually does a 13 hit the shower. A 13 does not hit the shower. Okay, I get, take my second attack. Does a 21 hit the shower a 21 hits the shower Okay, y'all cannot total party kill here. It would be the most embarrassing. I do 13 damage to the shower

Onix finished the shower. How do I want to finish the shower? I would like to whip my hair around So I create a huge like hairball. Yeah. I would like to clog the drain with it. You see the drain clogging and you hear Verly's voice go, choke on hair, dick. And then like spaghetti, he is ejected from the shower head and then reforms on the ground. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit shit! And he's gonna wildly take another stab at you. Okay. I'm doing okay overhead points. That's gonna hit, that's a 28.

Okay. You take 16 points of damage from this flailing sword. Okay. This is fine to me. She attacked me! She attacked me! You all saw it! Who are you speaking to?

I was a shower. I was taking a shower. She's a pervert. I am a pervert, but not about you. I'm also a pervert. You've seen my porn. You know, if you are a respectful pervert, that's... NAYAK classic pervert. That is your turn for the vintage shit. that's Niaq classic pervert that is your turn for the vintage shit again the all on this in your eyes just a real fucking classic per y'all dude like a fucking per from the old school i'm going to do a a somersault and an army crawl unnecessary and shoot my two arrows at Verlis. But I'm doing that from behind my brother's dead body.

Like, yeah, as if it's like a rampart or something. Wow, all right, so that's a 25 and a 21 to hit. Those both hit. 26 damage. Niaq, finish Verlis. Yeah! Yes! Wow.

Ha ha. I, so two arrows pierce him and then I grab him by his neck as if he liked me one day previously was a kitten. Ha ha. And I toss him onto the plant growth, the spike growth. His neck as if he like me one one day previously was a kitten Um And I toss him onto the plant growth the spike growth And I say and everyone thought it wasn't gonna do shit You would actually sorry nag you might what actually have to sort of shove him across so that he moves across it otherwise

Okay, I drag his body over the spike growth. Please, no! Oh God! This porn is so tasteful! And can I leave him on that and heal my brother too? Yes, absolutely. Wow, I did that with no spale slots! This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age

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You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Niaq, as you grate verless across these thorns like a block of cheddar cheese, sharp, the ruby light inside his face grows brighter and spreads as more cracks form throughout his body. As this happens, the apartment begins to rumble and your vision blurs. When it refocuses, you realize you're seeing two scenes at once. In your left eye, you see Verlis in the apartment, and in your right, you see his crystal prison in the real world. You see his crystal prison in the real world. Both Verlis and the crystal convulse, as condensed ruby light starts to bleed from their wounds.

And then, through pain laughter, one last time, you hear him speak. I really thought, you were my guys. We could have totally revolutionized the game. Again, it's so vague everything you're searching. Yeah. You weren't ready for my big ideas. There honestly isn't a big idea. Yeah. Even for being the idea guy, I don't think

you had one. It's galaxy brain big. Remember that meme? Revolutionizing is not an idea. It's the idea to have an idea of something new. You're just not cool enough to get it, but trust me, this is far from over. I may be defeated, but there were other aspects out there, and they have actual skills and talents. Good luck, my champion. Good luck. His laughter turns to a wretched scream, which rings in your ears. The apartment shakes violently, then both Verlis and the Crystal shatter. And Onyx, as this happens, the laughter and the voices fade away. And for the first time in years, you hear no whispers. Wow, the clarity of mind. Verilis has been defeated. But for whatever reason, your minds remain in the vision of your apartment. Everyone give me an insight check. That's one. I actually got a 19.

19. Let's go with that. I got an 11. Onyx, with a 19, you realize that with Verlis Gone, you are in control of this reality now. You can stay here for as long as you need before returning to the real world. Oh. of this reality now, you can stay here for as long as you need before returning to the real world.

Oh, I can control this reality if you all want to stay and take a long rest before we go back to the Perifera. I wouldn't mind a quick nap under my hammock. Yeah, I am about to be dead. Oh yeah, have we healed Gens? Oh, I think Nayak brought me back up. Can I, if this is my reality and I can make it anything I want, can I imagine that Gents is at full health?

No. Absolutely. Yeah, time doesn't seem to work here the way it does in the real world. This is kind of like a reflection of your perfect reality. You can do whatever you want here for as long as you want, but like once the vision fades, it will fade forever. You're basically coasting off of the last of Verlis' magic. I will cling to this vision for as long as we need to get healthy again.

Awesome. So you all heal up, you take a long rest. Anything else you do while you're in the apartment? I think Jen's does that thing where he's being a good guy but being like really extra about it. He pulls out his crystal and he takes a video and he's like, I just wanted to say to all my followers and everything that Onyx here has been hearing voices and Verlyst was saying that she was his champion, but really she's our champion. Like and subscribe, double tap, double tap,

got for sure, brother. You guys can go ahead and double tap that. For the first time in my entire social career, I shared Jen's post from his actual account on my fucking name. That's social work. Holy shit. That's a true post brother. Refresh. Jen's now has one of those very self-serving accounts that's like share some positivity, but it's like monetized. Yeah. Monetized. Monetized positivity.

And use my coupon code. I also pivot. Jen Slandell's monetized positivity. I stop selling stereotypical stuff and I do all monetizing positivity posts. Now that's a revolution. That's a big idea. The big idea with Onyx. What's the big idea. The big idea with Onyx.

What's the big idea? Jens, you see blogs everywhere, pick up your post under titles like the Prince Pricker is back and he's got some big ideas about positivity. Wow, Jens, you have revamped your image. You are no longer the Prince Pricker. You are Jens Lindell positivity engineer. Whoa, I'm such a good guy.

I fucking love you for taking what was supposed to be coming around as a better person, a redemption arc and twisting it in the wrong direction. It's still it's still it's baby steps it's still good for Jen, ultimately. So are you ready to wake up from this mental apartment? Yes, if we have done our long rest it is time to wake up. Cool. Yeah, you take a long rest, you hang out in the apartment for a day, you watch some home improvement, and then you are ready to get back to the real world. So when you re-enter reality, you all kind of jump up, you realize that at some point

your bodies had laid down, it seems like you took a long rest in real life as well. You see Gorlow stood watch over you and made sure that nothing happened while you were in this chamber. Are you okay? I thought maybe you were in coma or something. I didn't want to... I didn't want anything to happen to you. Appreciate it Gorlow. Heh heh. Ain't no problem. Now or even. If it's cool with you, I'm gonna rule this realm. Now, if that's alright. Hmm. I don't know if you've been vetted for your political beliefs, but okay.

It's cool with me. There's ultimately nobody here but shitty crystal pigeon, so... Yeah, I was just gonna like boss the pigeons around if that's okay. Yeah. Yeah, as long as you leave us alone. Alright, here's my number in case you want to like hang or something. Nigh act tears it up really theatrically. Yeah.

That's fair, I did try to attack you a lot. I killed that mage though. I make a video entitled This Intern became CEO, actor, an unbelievable uplifting story. Again, it's just everything you touch is gold now. You spin it into a viral masterpiece. We're really making a difference, gang. So as Gorlow departs to, I guess, kick some pigeons, you are left to sift through the big pile of pastel shards

that you see on the ground. Why don't you make a perception check for me real quick? Shout out to the two crew. 18! 19. 19 and 18. Jens, you and Onyx, uh sorry, I went good out of your way. No, no, it's okay, I'm a good guy now.

I know, that's why I'm getting out of the way. That was really cool. It's fine. I really aggressively say that it's fine. No, it's fine with friends. And that's what friends do, they fucking knock heads. So as you're rubbing your heads, you look amidst all of these shards and you see something that kind of shines with a different sort of light. It's a small, silvery orb, and it swirls with this

cloud-like texture. Okay, I pick it up. You pick it up, and despite being solid to the touch, You pick it up and despite being solid to the touch, you find that it's deceptively heavy. Uh, give me an arcana check. I only got an eight. However, I am wondering if I could replace the crystal in my flail with this. Whoa. Okay, all right, um- Because was Verlis who was controlling me. Yes, it was.

And as you're staring amidst this big pile of crystal and waste, you do not feel Verlis's pull anymore. All of your power is coming directly from your social sorcerer abilities, from your speaking stone. But as soon as you hold this orb, you don't feel Verilis's power. You feel the heart of Verilis's power.

And when you go to stick it into your flail, you feel another presence. As soon as it enters your flail, You feel another presence. As soon as it enters your flail, you are surrounded by thick swirling tendrils of silver fog. It feels like you're in the eye of an arcane storm, and at the center of the storm, you see a figure. They're clad in ornate robes, and on their hands and feet, you see living shackles made of the same swirling material as the fog.

They lift their head, and through flowing silver locks, you see eyes that gleam with the deep twilight purple of the cosmos Give me an insight roll. Okay Shout out to the two crew. Oh, no, dear Alex Even with the two you know one thing. Okay, this is Nadas. The God of Sages and Starlight. Oh, Nadas, it seems as though you are imprisoned. Do you need the assistance of a champion?

You've come. Yes. Listen. I don't have much time. You'll notice we're speaking before too long. Yes. Listen. Uh-huh. I don't have much time. You'll notice we're speaking before too long. Please. Please, you must just listen to me. Okay.

I shut up. Thank you. That's very respectful. When you touch the orb, you connect it to my soul. For you see the orb that you're holding contains the essence I once gave to Verlis. Most of its power has been consumed but it will recharge over time. Please I implore you, use my essence and continue your mission. Destroy the crystals so that Nalar can never use them.

Destroy all of the Geno Recrystals? Yes. Okay, I promise. A woman from the moon like me will bring honor to your starlight. You see it brighter than anyone. That's why I made your moon. You made Pollux? Of course. It was originally my pool house.

Who are you worried about? No, wow, okay. Wow, very richy, very impressive. Who are you worrying about hearing us talk? Is it Nalar? I... to even say their name... would alert them to our presence. OK, I'm so sorry. They've trapped me here, and I'm risking so much

by even talking to you. Can I? Real quick, I'm not going to do this. I'm going to hold it out as an option. I'm going to take the wish be be in my hand and hold it out to Nadas. Whoa. It was so sure it was gonna be the terrarium,

but that's the solid new. The Crabs turn. I think I am like, I am not gonna like, chuck the BB at them and I'm not going to say like, what I think they should do with it, I'm just going to hold it out.

You see, at first they see this BB and they recoil, but then they look at it, their eyes kind of analyzing it. You see like glimmering starlight in their eyes as they analyze this construction. Ooh, is it like a hacker? It's like... Yeah, it's gross. Okay, cool. You see fucking Matrix codes.

Hackers is backers. Wow, this is really cool. I'm in. You see they analyze it and after a moment they go, this is ingenious. Who made this? My mother? Who also benefited from your wonderful pool house? Hahaha.

It's yours if you want it, but I can also bring it back with me and commit myself to destroy the Genoarac crystals. But if you have use for it, it is yours. You'll need every advantage you can in the days to come. Here it's not much, but I give you this. And you see, they popped the BB in two and from their fingertips, a little bit of this silver essence flows out and into the BB, and then they seal it back and levitate it over to you.

I take it very carefully, and I say, if you have even just a little bit of strength left, I could really go for some silver locks myself. I'm just saying, I, it might be just the advantage I need. I think that would be a real kickass look on you. Thank you so much. I will do anything for you. Now I'm afraid that you must go. Okay, if you have time for one more question. Of

course, while I'm dying your hair. I should I destroy the Gen orac crystals. Keep in mind, I have to brave, brave soldiers and warriors at my side that I am biologically related to. Nah, heck of a chance we're doing TikTok dances outside of this. We're dancing to end war. It's so impactful, it's so important. I'm one step behind Jens. I feel a bond, even beyond tripletplethood forming within you all. We are one person, yes. The only way to destroy the Gennarek crystals is by placing them once more in the forge of their creation. The laith at the top of this tower, you find yourself in.

Once, my divine cohorts and I gathered there. It is the source of all things, the source of all magic in this world, and it can be the source of new beginnings, if you so will it. I will, Will it. Thank you. Okay. Thank you, Onyx. Can I give you anything to help your safety going forward?

You've given me hope, and that's more than enough. Okay, I will leave for your safety. I don't mean to be abrupt, but I will leave now and I will destroy these crystals. Thank you. And if you encounter Nalar again, please tell him, I said I'm sorry. Okay, I will pass along this message. As you say that, the swirling fog dissipates around you. And as it does, it sucks up into your hair, which is now a beautiful platinum night.

Oh my goodness, middle triplet sister. You are the silverback. Sorry, too much, too much diamond the apartment I had to dye my hair. I'm talking to my phone. You know what? Sometimes your friends will just like get milky eyed and stand still for like five minutes and then when they're done in their weird little demi plane, they come back and their hair is different and you need to just accept that. People are beautiful.

Nack is filming James filming himself. I smack both of their phones out of their hand, which is a carnal syn to Onyx who loves her phone. Whoa. We cannot commit this to video. We must destroy all of the Gennarak crystals. I met Nadas and they asked me to do this and so I will. Also, they gave me a super-powered butter finger BB. This one does not get eaten.

Nah, it looks directly at Jens to see if he's impressed. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. I nod like it's okay to be impressed. Yeah, it's a wish be knew for all God. It is awesome, brother. Yeah. It is.

It's great. And I could probably, I'll try to get one to someday brother Give me a genorectal crystal destroy it right now I give him a genorectal I squeeze my hand around it really really hard Yes, do we just squeeze it hard or what next? Dom's on a crystal. Give me a strength check I could look to see what I add to that, but I rolled a three, so I know it's pretty bad. Wait a nat three? A nat three.

Dude, just like the triplets that we are. Three in honor of the triplets, so that's kind of like a nat 20 to us. Shout out to the triplets, baby. Now, you go to squeeze the crystal and you realize it was just another worm and not actually the crystal. Oh, no, with a three, did I kill the worm? I hope not. You've killed that worm. You were not even strong enough to kill the worm. All right, I toss it.

Oh, the worm is fine. Do you want me to put him in a terrarium and you can study his movements? No, don't worry. I, I think I got it. I do the worm again. I'll do a performance check. Oh, no, that was a that's a 10 Okay, okay Technically the worm buddy

Middleing wriggling All right awesome, so you have communed with Nadas They have kind of reaffirmed your mission, they've told you where to go. It was almost like a spiritual DM, like direct message. Wow, wow. Yes, you did a celestial slide into their cosmic DMs. So the crystals can be destroyed in this tower? With the life. Should we climb up?

Yes, we should make speed to the life. I will follow you, Jens, who will be following Onyx. I'm following Jens. We walk in a circle. I was gonna lead from the middle. That's okay. And that actually really encapsulates our dynamic, yes. Okay.

I'll take the middle and I'll just shout orders if that's okay with everyone. Naya, can you watch my back? Onyx, you watch my front. With glory, brother. And I want you to know that if either of you dies, I won't be as sad as if I myself died, but I will be sad.

On that, we can relate. And that's where we'll end our session. Alright. Wow. Huge turn around. Wow. Growth. That's growth, baby. Thank you. Oh boy, goodness y'all, what a session.

Great work. You beat the shit out of your apartment. How cathartic is that? That really feels good. I knew that, I knew that like, actually attacking the furniture did end up being correct, but I definitely thought, like, oh, we're supposed to be, but I was just like, I'm never gonna get a chance to just whack furniture again.

Hell yeah, I'm gonna fucking lay on furniture. It is true. I had to look up stats for, I did look up what the stats were for furniture. It was very tricky, but it was fun. You're gonna tell us the stat of every single piece of furniture on the short rest, buddy. Do not spoil that ottoman for us, okay?

Painstakingly detailing the stats of every single item of furniture. Yeah, we're gonna do chase lounges. We're gonna do. Hit us up for stat chat on the short rest. I'm gonna be walking you through all the stats. Patreon.com slash nad pod if you want in. That is for the short rest. Now is for shout outs. I would like to give one to Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription

I used for this adventure Trevor lion for producing and Daniel Raymos for sound mix again music. You can find Trevor on Twitter at lion at large and you can find Daniel on Instagram at Dr. Schubert or at DanielRamos.com. Also thank you so much to Yens Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode. Yens was also trapped in a crystal until recently and now they're free to bestow their music upon the world. So thank you to the heroes that freed them.

Congrats and welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you most of all to my nie that freed them. Congrats and welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you most of all to my nieces and nephews for playing this little game with me. Thank you, donkel. Thank you. Oh, what a treat and a pleasure. This is really what donkels are all about.

They take you to an abandoned apartment and let you beat the shit out of some furnishings, right? That was dangerous, donkel. It was condemned, it's fine. Thank you for letting your nieces and nephews get out their energy. Let's all go get It was condemned. It's fine. Thank you for letting your nieces and nephews get out their energy. Let's all go get tetanus shots as a treat. You can find all of us on Twitter at CH Murphys Murph, at eAXford, at jkerwitz, at jake

and at kaldi is me. You can also tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's in a ddp. Oh, D We are we are You the nation we are Sean Terrible that was perfect. That was perfect It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Starting with Jeffrey S. Andrew M. Beardmandan, Brad D. Cutter W. N. Danielle, the Daster the Dame, Treasure Hunters, who are now after Onyx's legendary Divine Wish BB.

They plan on using it to wish for more Wish BBs, which seems cheap, but I'll bet the DM would allow it. And of course we got Danny P, Dylan B, Elena C, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and John S. Schubert, the mushroom. Trident Valiant conspiracy theorists who are convinced that the world is absolutely a sphere. They spend all day on Trinstagram posting about the circle Earth theory. Jordan DJ Scott D. Adam R. Mixologist Michael McDee, Boundor's boy and Jive G. The new staff at Lumiere Vineyards. Thanks to Onyx's Trinstagram earnings, they all get full benefits, paid vacations, and as much chicken wine as they can drink. Coincidentally, Blavin has applied over 300 times.

Justin I. Elena M. Jacob C. over 300 times. Justin I, Elena M, Jacob C, damn LR, and cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, and a TJM, the Nome Barbarian. Fellow collectors of vintage Elven pornography, they recently formed a club called FaZe Gone Wild and have invited Niaq to join multiple times. DestinC, Traile the Crafay, Sergio Salazar, Solomon, Sacchariah, Stase Aquani, Kelvin Noodles, and Michael L, a hive of lesser demons who actually have been living

in the floorboards under the triplets apartment. They emerge every night to feed on the dreams of team 22 and also to steal their trisks. Brude, Richard X Machina, Trash the Traveler, Jory S. and Ryan, hair stylists who use the power of Nadas to give people stylish platinum-haired makeovers. They can also heal wounds and stuff, but honestly the pay is way worse. Troy McCee, Mike H, Nicholas C, Sam L, and Samuel B, pieces of sentient furniture that

were horrified by the events that unfolded in Team 22's apartment and are currently hiring a moving company to transport them to Gen's apartment so they can challenge the trio to a duel. Zolo-Dolo, Austin-MR, Gage-M, Colton-B, Curtis-S, and Yen's Christian-T, the makers of Baddie-Go-Bye-Bye, a spray that helps keep your shower free of mold, mildew, and chaos demons. Matthew E. Andrew B. Reese and S. Eric and Andrea B. Kaley Elise and Jordan L. Blavins, favorite bartenders at his favorite Ruby Tuesdays and yes, you guessed it, his favorite Ruby Tuesdays is at an airport.

Matt M. Barnes and Adder, C.C. Lulu, Jared E. J. and Talith X. Jen's dance squad, they were called one man's show because Jen's named them and still has not acknowledged that anyone else was in the dance troupe. Christopher B. Dana G. Joe McGee, Persephone AidenrH, and Austin C. The makers of Belly Chain. It functions very similarly to keychain, but instead of taking a spell slot to activate, you just have to say Virginia Beach. Shen will be Eric G, Aaron S, Lucas B, Luke H, and Timmy R. The hardworking carpenters whose labor was absolutely wrecked and disrespected by both Verless and Retrieval Team 22 as

they tried to destroy Verless and Retrieval Team 22 as they tried to destroy Verless. Zach C. Devon W. Michelle O. Dan and Caleb L. The social media managers that manage social media manager Onyx. So many managers just to push mediocre posts selling suspect products. Omri M. Maxwell C. Mike K. Steven C. and Nikki W. A pastoral family of moonacorn herders who all know too well the distinct call of a moonicorn in heat. Grrrr. Grace G. Karen T. Shane B. Kevin M. Mateo C. and Raoul and the Verlex Terminators, a crew of past removal experts who will come to your studio apartment and shake any mad gods out

of your couch, sink, or toilet. Maribel the Kitty Morphing gnome, angel B, Esmi M, I am the Atlas, Michael C, and Nicholas P, Jen's fellow positivity monetizers. They hold a how to better yourself in an act change seminar once a month for underprivileged youth for the low, low price of $1,000 per ticket. Robert F. Chris and P. Atticusy, Kessamere the all-knowing and meta-amps, the Wish BB-Bays, a team of dancing cheerleaders who shoot T-shirt cannons full of Wish BBs into the crowd at every Trinny Valy and Basketball game. The recklessness with which they dull out wishes has completely unwoven the fabric of reality. Chris R. Michael K. M. Panama James, Nathaniel P. and Nick B.

Trolls of Onyx's Trinstagram, who constantly demand new pictures of Gens. They may or may not be paid by Gens' positivity shell company. Nick L. Jack L. Y. Greck 32, temporal bural Burley T. in Christian A. The cleanup crew who had the unfortunate task of tidying up the apartment after Verlis tore it up. It's going to take a long time to get the cockroaches out of the sink and the stink of chaos out of the couch. Jay Dragonborn, Jonathan O. The Red Rain, and Drew Nasty. The venture capitalists who invested in Verlis' big ideas before he was on-stream, unceremoniously killed in a dream bathroom. They've pivoted and are now investing in dream bathrooms.

KJ, Joseph A, Hordofo, and Dave H. Like Jen's Onyx and Nyak, this crew is also triplets, even though they aren't related, don't look alike, and there are four of them. Feldonis, Grant, Adrian the Halfling Bard, Eric B, John H.N. and Adam G. The team of plumbers that came over to fix Jens' toilet after Niaq shot it with a bow, Onyx promptly asked them to move in and inform them that rent was optional. New York, Nick W. Ryan W. Axel A. Stephanie Koo and Christian S. A group of elves joined in a civil suit against a probiotic T. Jens is currently hocking on Trinstagram. If they win, Jens is liable to never receive his ad money, so let's all cross our fingers on it. David T. Catherine S. Shadow, Ben A. and Douglas A. The group of mechanics at the shop where

Jens's car is allegedly being fixed. They receive a very confusing weekly call from Niaq demanding that they speed up the work on his big baby brothers Porsche and have learned that the best thing to do is ignore it. Nathan, Big Bad John, Brittany B, Emilio D, and Frankie Koala, hair models at Ron's barbershop, a little excessive since Ron only does two styles of hair cut, the mullet or the bowl cut, but they do a good job of showing all the angles.

Keith Kay, the undead incinerator, Felix F, David Kay, and Pipes H, Quinn Tutplates. Wow, the only thing better than Triplet's is Quinn Tutplates. Quadruplets are also pretty good. One heart, one mind, one soul. Richard J.M. Aston S. Cody C. Fetty Daddy 187. Joe Makem. And Christina B. A team of doctors who looked at NIAC's parasite.

After spending a lot of time with both parasite and host, they're still having a hard time deciding who to save. Marlo E. Rafael O. Sirc Cadvin, The Sandrayon, Channiel M, Depressed Demon Hunter, and Patrick B, a group of gnomes, organizing a Techno-Mec or G. They're aiming to build a MEC so giant that dozens of people can fornicate in its closed fist. Godspeed heroes! And Godspeed to all of you. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our Council of Elders.

We will catch you guys next time. Bye, sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast.