Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 18: Quicksilver Coup

Episode Date: June 26, 2020

Shocked by the sudden return of an unwelcome acquaintance, the Trinyvale Triplets look inward for answers, but find only turmoil. Jens robs a knob, Nyack's gets conned by his constitution, and Onyx meets her match, as the the Trinyvale Saga enters its true endgame!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design & Engineering by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG) and Kei Matsuo (@Nightsharkss on Twitter).MUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Moonsick" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" - Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamineve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, sweeties. This is a headgun podcast. Welcome to Trinavale. Trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin-trin- to its core. Are you having a problem with your one? It's fine. I got tough grass, okay? It's got autobiographical and I'm uncomfortable. Also, I'm allergic to grass. Just come over and eat my grass, all right? Come over and eat my grass. It's not too much to

ask. Just eat my grass. A world where immortality is a curse. Ignorance is a blessing. An erotic archery is the only sport you'll ever need. Here here. It is a true adventurer's paradise. Today's story begins at the bottom of the sea. Amidst glowing coral and the lurking shadows of deep sea creatures, a single human sits patiently. In his waterlogged hands, he holds a magic coin, through which he spies on retrieval team 22 as they ascend the spiral pathway of Trine Tower. Once they reach the top, he turns off his coin, adjusts his bloodst suit, and grins.

It seems our heroes have unfinished business, with a businessman they thought was finished. Can they make a deal to survive this ordeal? Only time will tell. And so, without further ado, let us rejoin, Retrieval Team 22, and begin chapter 18 of the Trinaville Adventure. Woohoo! All right, hello, friends, and welcome back to the table. I'm your dungeon master, aka, dunkel, called Waltanner, and I am joined by... Jen's Lindell, Retrieval teams, Ray Chel.

Oh, remember the friends jokes from last week? This is very good. I'm back with them. They never left. Onyx Lumiere, Crystal Mage, stealing our enemies and putting them in a cage. Nice. Not on the friends theme, but still pretty fun. I know.

And now I feel full of regret. And you're about to feel even more. Jen's handler, and Trinville's Chandler, Knight of the Rannahor. Oh! Okay, okay, much like the moon of Jupiter,

Unix is from the moon like Phoebe. Is it Phoebe? The name of a moon, thank you. Beautiful. Oh, Butterfinger, Phoebe and Phoebe would have run somehow. Oh, that's good BB and Thiebie were the rhymes somehow. Oh, that's good. Okay, annex Lumiere.

Too much woman for one Butterfinger BB because she is a Thiebie. Yeah, beautiful. We got there. We got there, folks. You had to get the brand's name Butterfinger in there, which totally threw off the rhymes. I just wanna make sure that, you know,

absolutely we might get sued always. Right. It's a constant fear and also a constant hope, you know, because that would really put our name on the map, I think. That's free publicity, man. Absolutely. If Bart Simpson himself kicks our ass. Yeah, it's all you can hope for.

Indeed. But anyway, speaking of what we can hope for, I'm hoping for the best for this episode, but who knows? Because Mercurio is back on the scene and that guy's a real troublemaker. Ooh, yes. You should be dead. Before we get into it, before we meet up with Mercurio, though, how about a quick recap? Please. Let's do it. Alrighty. So, when last we met, U3 had just defeated the Chaos Demon known as Verless, and we're beginning your ascent to the top of Trine Tower in search of the crystal destroying Forge,

known as the Lath of Creation. While walking up the ramp, you paused to take in the exhibits detailing the long and storied life of the gods of Trinneville. It was here you learned about Project Heaven Hand, and gained some sultry insight into Nalar and Adas's past relationship. Eventually you made your way into the Chamber of the Lave, which turned out to be a huge rock garden inside a planetarium. Once there you were met by your old employer, the benefactor, aka Nalar, the God of Time

and Tides. As he prepared to fight, Nalar revealed that he needed the crystals not to kill one of the other gods, but so that he could end his own life. Having lived for so long, the God had grown embarrassed of the wacky world he helped create, and sought to end it by eliminating himself and thus removing magic from the entire realm. Additionally, Nala revealed that upon his death, the planet was designed to automatically flip to a new side and start fresh. He then transformed into a clockwork dragon and began to fight.

Despite his impressive arsenal of time-based attacks, you three managed to defeat him and his minion rockily, all while promoting a variety of totally untested vitamins on your social media. With Nalar's power depleted, you three were then able to finally destroy the crystals. Once inside the lathe, the crystals disintegrated, forming a divine mist. And upon inhaling this mist, you saw visions of the history of Genorak, including the climactic showdown between Nadas, Nalar, and Leont that led to the destruction of Gennarak and resulted in Leont becoming fully frozen in stone.

Once the flashback concluded, a strange voice addressed you. They revealed that they were in fact the hidden god, or as you renamed them, the little crystal friends, and asked for your help in restoring balance to the world. The vision ended and then you found that the crystals had transformed into a strange golden egg. When you tried to pick it up, it whispered a rhyme to you and told you to seek three relics, a flame split in twain, a garland of stars, and a tinkers tool. You started to ask Nalar for advice on where to find these relics, but were interrupted by the laughter of Mercurio Delurio, who had mysteriously risen from the dead and made

his way to the Garden of the Lave. As you turned to face him, Mercurio lamented the destruction of the crystals, but thanked you for delivering Nalar to him. And that is where we are now. You through his standing at the top of this hill next to the lathe of creation, below you you see Mercurio and the injured body of Nalar. And as Mercurio addresses you, he presses his boot into Nalar's face, which looks annoyed more than anything else. Ah, sure, this is happening now fine.

It makes it difficult to feel sympathy for you. You see Mercurio puts his boot over Nellar's mouth and he's just like, oh, oh, okay, now I feel some sympathy. Yeah, I also wouldn't like that. To be silenced, I mean, come on. Before we proceed, I feel a bit underdressed Would your mind horribly if I changed? Sure if I can take a short rest. You smell like the bottom of the sea

Yeah, I do have a bit of a brine if flavor to myself at the moment like a can of tuna fish Which does not suit anyone. I don't think well yet if y'all would like to take a short rest, I will quickly alter my appearance to something a bit more pleasant. Appreciate it. Yeah, I will. Yeah, I will take you up on that. Solid trade.

Are you gonna turn into a dragon? You can also step on this dude as much as you want. He just wicked out and turned into a dragon and tried to kill us. So, Mercurio turns into three dragon. What? One for each. And they're your pets now.

Hooray, you win. So as you take a moment to catch your breath after your experience, witnessing thousands of years of history on Ginerak. Mercurio removes his hat and pushes a finger deep into his forehead. Ew. He pushes it in so hard that it pierces the flesh. That's what'll happen if your water logged.

That's gonna happen. Your forehead got too soggy. If you think that's weird, then wait for this. Then he starts unzipping his skin as if it were a jacket. Now this is the silly world, I think that. No, Laura hated so much. No, Laura, you should be happy that your head is getting stepped on because silliness is happening. You would hate this. You would hate this. You would hate this.

Oh. Oh. Mercurio zips his skin further and further down and the skin falls to the side like someone stepping out of a bathrobe. And as that happens, he reveals his true form. Y'all might have guessed this already. But in case it wasn't clear, I'm a little more than a humble vending machine magnate. I'm also an aspect of Nadas. He bows. At least I was. He bows at least that was

But for now you can call me coin Okay coin it is okay coin Please to meet you once more US well coin Did I do it right charmed yes he keeps bowing every time you hello. I want to give him a dumb nickname, but he already has one. I don't know what else to do. Your name is coin, dude.

It's simple. It's elegant, I would think. I think it kind of matches my new physique. Your name used to be Mercurio, and you changed it to coin. Coin. Okay. Well, it was always coin. Mercurio was more of an alias, I adopted the time. We have a stupid robot, sorry, keychain, that we call keychain. And that's a cooler name than your name.

And you're kind of a god. If I were you, I would have even money is kind of more poetic than calling cash. Cash, cash, cash is actually really good. Cash is a good name. Cash is a good name. Cash is a good name. Cash, cash, cash. Cash is actually really good. And that kind of implies that you're going to be very cool. Do you want us to start calling you cash? We can call you cash. Why do we call you cash? Y'all can call me whatever you want

with what little time you have left, whatever floats your boat. Okay, cash it is. Yeah, cash. Yes, I love that cash. As he talks and bows, cash arises before you. And you see no more the Pudgey vending machine magnate. Now you see a slender being with smooth silver skin

that ripples like metal radiating heat. You try to focus on his face, but realize it's constantly shifting. For a moment, it's Mercurio, then it's Nadas. Then Mercurio again. You try to follow the changes, but staring at it for too long makes your head hurt in your ears ring. Onyx, you once asked if Mercurio was the actual devil. And while his physical body may not have been, the thing lurking inside him certainly is.

Ah, well... I gotta say it's a real shame you destroyed those crystals, but... I think that this gift that you've given me will mold and make up for it. He starts inspecting... Nalar. He runs his fingers kind of along the God's injured face. Well, time to get to work, I suppose. Coin, sorry, excuse me.

Cash, raises a hand over a Nalar. From his palm, writhing silver tentacles shoot forth and pierce in a large chest. The God screams as a chromium glazed coats his body and then... He's slowly sucked inside coin. Okay. Should we stop this? It is happening currently. He is slowly being sucked inside.

You're welcome to act, but he is currently absorbing Nalar. Yeah, I guess let's get in there. Take the lead, Jens. Okay, I guess I'll throw a time dagger. Nice. Okay, let's roll initiative. Sweet, cool. It's a 12, 17.

Nine is my initiative. Great. Oh, it's a nat 20 for coin. That's good, use them now. Coin is going to go first, because they rolled a nat 20. You see, they continue just absorbing Nellar. You can see their body like slowly being sucked inside.

It seems like it's just affecting Nellar's body and not as close. You see his robe kind of like slumping over. As this happens actually, you do see as his robe starts to slump over and as he is sucked inside, go ahead and give me a perception check. Oh yes baby, that's a 22. Oh!

I also got a 22. Alright, with 22s, you'll notice two things, shout out to the 22 crew. Onyx. You see that as the Lars being sucked inside of coins palm, coin cash, you see something fall out of his robe. What is it? It's a small bronze doorknob. I recall he used these, so it's some sort of portal, correct? Yes.

And Nyak, with your perception, you can glean that it will take until the end of coins next turn for him to fully ingest Nellar. It's a lot of dragon to slurp. It was just a big boy! It's just a dude now, right? Or is he still a dragon? He's a dude now. OK, great. But he still got sharp teeth. Great.

That's why Corn was putting his boot overs off. Cool. OK, Jins, that is your turn to act. I guess I will, is Nalar still physically there? Can I like grab Nellar? You could try and grab him, yeah. There's enough to try and grab him, but like this silver is like spreading through his body.

You would probably need to try and break concentration on a coin to fully get him out of there. Okay, in that case, originally I was gonna maybe try to dimension door him out of there, but I don't know how effective that'll be. I guess I'll just attack with my regular stuff. Cool. So I'm gonna take some swings. First one is a 20-8 to hit.

Oh yeah. I rolled a 19. That'll hit. That's very good. First attack is 11 damage. Okay. Second attack is only a 14 to hit. That misses. Okay. Last attack is only a 14 to hit again. Oh, let me real quick roll to see if you break concentration on those hits. Nope, you do not. Okay, anything else you want to do? And then I guess as a bonus action, I will give a party inspiration to...

Do either of you have party inspiration right now? I do not. Nor I. Okay. So choose a favorite. I'll give it to Onyx. Oh, wow. Thank you.

Did you hear me say choose a favorite before you say? Oh, I know. I know. I got that one. Awesome. Niac, that is your turn. Okay. Do I have a straw that I could try to slurp up no lard with myself?

Yeah, roll a luck check to see if you brought any reusable straws with you. That's actually a net one, so I only brought one straw. You are strawless, my friend. Okay, then in that case, I'm gonna cast Punter's Mark on coin cash. Shoot my arrow at him in a sexy fashion. That is a 27 to hit.

That will hit, but only because he was sexy. That's right. Mm, rolled a one on that 15 damage, and I'll shoot again. That is a 24. 24 will hit, and that's another 16 damage. Nice. Cool.

Oh, let me real quick roll to see if you break concentration on those hits. Nope, he keeps it up. All right, that your turn, and as a bonus action, I'll just pat through my other satchels to see if I have a straw. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha.

Didn't you use your bonus action on Hunter's Mark? Fine. Ha, ha. How dare you? How dare you disrespect the DM like this? I tried to cheat. I tried to cheat my got caught. It's a fine horse drive.

Ha, ha. I can't believe this. Mutiny. That's my turn. That's my turn. Cool. Nike, as you fire these arrows, you see coins face is unfazed. He is smiling and continuing to draw the LAR into himself.

The arrows land in him and clearly some of the like, silvery liquid flesh flies off but he barely seems to notice. All right, Onyx, that is your turn. Um, can I sense how close to death Nalar is? Again, Nalar cannot die. Cannot die, okay, so that is okay. But he's gonna be consumed like next turn apparently. Okay, I know, I just was kind of trying to think, maybe we kill him before he gets completely consumed. Yeah, I was thinking that too.

And then I could soul cage, steal his soul, then attack, but he is immortal. Think of Nellar's life like a half-life situation where he can increasingly get to a lesser degree of life, but he will never fully be extinguished. Okay, well, I will never put you in my soul cage, then, in a lot. You escape, onexist, terrarium. Your loss. That little castle looks very nice, though.

Ha, ha, ha. Everyone gets to be the king. Ha, ha, ha. May I go into the terrarium? I would... Ha, ha, ha. I make a mental note to start building a giant terrarium for an eye actor to retire in. On the roof of the apartment. Yeah.

Tiny terrarium on the massive roof. Okay, I will use my hex blade curse on this fellow and I will attack coin. Okay. My first attack is going to be 27. That is. Okay. Let me remember all my damage. I'm going to do 55 damage because I use a Eldritch smite.

Nice. Wow. And then it could be knocked prone by this. One spare turn, you hit a creature with your packed weapon. You can expend a Warlock spell slot to deal an extra 1D8 force damage to the target plus another 1D8 per level of the spell slot and you can knock the target prone if it is huge or smaller. I think he doesn't even get a save.

I think he just gets knocked prone. Very cool. Yes, this is an ability of Eldritch Smite. I did not read and therefore I'm just starting to use. Always read the rules, kids. Your DM will not thank you. So yeah, you slash into coin. And you see his body ripples and expands to try and take

the power of the force that you're putting into him with this smite. Little does he know I have nadas on my weapon. But the force is overwhelming and you see this like bubble forms on his back, this liquid silver bubble forms and pops, and he just launches forward Well, did you just pop a huge backseat? Usually it knocks them prone, but I guess I popped his back sits

Even dimmy gods get zits y'all there's no cure for that. What is the purpose of being a god? You got to find your own purpose. That's where our little nila when a stray. Wow, okay. So you knock coin prone and in doing so, I'm gonna say if you knock in prone, you're definitely gonna interrupt the absorption that's going on.

Okay. So you see like the link gets severed, the like silver skin that was forming over in a lar get sucked out and he gets spit out of coins palm and that brings us back to coins turn. That's actually my turn still. Now I can attack him and he's prone so I have advantage. And I got a crit because I got a 19, but I have my X-blade cursor on. Very nice, hell yeah.

Another 32 damage. Nice. Ooh, wow. I could not use any Eldritch smite that time, but can I kick the Dornab away from him? Yeah, what if we need it? Yeah, but I'm saying we keep it away from him. Okay, great. Yeah. So I want to just kick it, use'm saying we keep it away from him. Okay, great. Yeah, so I want to just kick it

Use my movement to kick it far from him. Great awesome. You kick it far from him as a legendary action He teleports right to where you kick it and catches it in his hand much obliged Missy much obliged didn't think I'd have to use those legendary actions but Seems y'all got a little more fight left in you than I thought really thought you'd be all use those legendary actions, but ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I gotta say it's often good form to let your opponents explain their plan Before you enter into battle you might glean some nice information on what they're trying to do You were in the middle of sucking up a god, we assumed it was bad You unsypped yourself, sir Not- not to mention we have fucked you before

You started eating this dude If you wished to do be friends I think you would have been kinder in the past. You told us your name was coin, and that was war to me. Also, perhaps I did not vocalize this, but I just kind of sensed that you're the devil. You've said that before, and I tend to agree, actually. That's right, I'm the coin devil. Jinglingling. Oh gosh. Everyone hears me coming, cuz my pockets are full

Anyway, here's what's gonna happen now coin snaps his finger and instantly onyx and niac you feel a cold grip on your chest. Uh-oh. It spreads across your whole body, and you can't move.

Now, here's where Nalaw went wrong. Here's where all the gods went wrong, to be honest. They were looking for ways to control the world. Leont wanted to rule through battle and bloodshed. Nalar tried to master time itself, and Nidha shared their power and commanded a council. And yet each of them failed. Why? Because you can't control the world, without first controlling its people.

Of the three I suppose, Nadas got the closest. In fact, I have them to thank for this beautiful method of control that I have imposed upon our good jungle boy, and our sweet moon child. He walks right up next to where you are, Onyx. If you'll recall, after Ndoss implanted the aspects with a sliver of their essence, that essence grew, and with it the aspects power grew as well. Unfortunately Nidhas had no control over the power growing in their subjects, and eventually

that led to their divine downfall. But he turns to an eye-act now. What if you could control the seeds of power growing inside? What if you could take the entire population and make them into your own personal army of Ginnarak crystals? Millions of people serving as incubators for your power, serving you willingly until it's time to harvest. Are you getting powers from the Bebees? Now the only problem is how do you bestow your essence upon that many people? God dammit you people and your Bebees why do you eat so many Bebees? I've only ever had a few.

That's all it takes my friend. God dammit. I'm just one man it'd be impossible to spread my essence across the entire cube. Unless perhaps I hid that power inside something folks wanted all along. Something delicious. Something easily available for purchase inside delirious, curials, vending machines, world-wide. Coin snaps his finger again and the planetarium above switches from the view of Trinavale in space to a series of scenes around the planet.

First you see a familiar location. Papa Gump's Jambalaya Jamboreen. Before heading into the forest, two treasure hunters stop at the vending machine and purchase bags of babies. The perfect treat for a long journey. Next you see various shots of people across Vainelar buying babies from Mercurio's machines. As they pop the orbs in their mouth, their eyes flicker with a sinister silver light. After that you see shots of vending machines magically rising from the ground in various

places you've never been. The floating atropless of Vena Das, the Orkish capital of Dagarast, and even the Elven city of Vardanta. As you watch various people of all races and origins popping these babies into their mouth, you hear Mercurio laugh. With each baby they consumed a small bit of my power into their body. Over time that power began to grow and when it ripened, I harvested it and used it to plot my next move. As he speaks, you realize the reason coin skin looks like it's constantly moving is because every inch of it is covered in ghastly faces screaming in pain.

You see, after Nidasa's little tiff with Nla back on Ginnarak, they were severely weakened! And so I took a page out of their own playbook and trapped them in a no-fross crystal, just like they once did to Verlis. Eventually, with the aid of my babies, I grew so powerful that I could do more than just contain a God. I could consume one, and that's what I'm gonna do to him. He extends the tendrils once more and starts trying to consume the lard. And that is his turn. You've got one round to stop him.

Onyx and Nyak, you are paralyzed. That is the condition you currently have. Of course. Nyak, you hear a voice inside your head. I'm so sorry, Niaq. I never meant for this to happen. I lied being inside you. I really do. You could have thrown it up. That was on you.

You could have rejected the BB. Niaq, I am the BB. My parasite is the BB. When that jam entered our system, it combined with the BB and it turned into me. I'm not entirely BB, but I can't control my actions anymore, Nyaak. I'm so sorry, my friend. Maybe if you'd eaten more litters. Let us mix B.L. We're a monster. We're a monster! Nyaak, why did you think your stomach parasite was good? Why did you ever think your stomach parasite was good?

I thought we could be quadruplets, brother. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha loud because it wasn't combined with a weird jam from Graffit. But it's in there. The sugar didn't feed the infection, fungal infection. Hello. Oh! It is me! You're my little parasite. Hey, I'm your parasite. Yes?

That is so cute. The thing is, I'm going to take you outside of me and I'm going to put you in a little terrarium. Do you think you could accommodate two-life style like? You have a castle you will be the king. Unexcelent you see? I am your terrarium. You live inside of me. What you are a very big parasite and I live in you? No, no, no, no, I am just big enough for you to fit. So it's kind of like my body is your terrarium, but you're the king. I'm your castle and I'm you're the king. Well you know however you want to think about it, what matters is that you're trapped. Okay, I prefer I prefer the analogy I am your castle you're the king. Okay, that's not good to me.

King. Okay, that sounds good to me. Okay. So Jins, uh, you kind of watch this whole scene go down Then getting trapped Coin darting back and forth explaining this grand plan basically giving a PowerPoint as you watch dumbfounded But now it is your turn. Oh boy These guys are totally frozen Yop yop. Hmm These guys are totally frozen. Yup, yup. Mmm. I guess first things first, I'll try to snatch that knob,

so that maybe we can get away, because I think this is over. Can this knob snatch that knob? I guess I'll do a slight of hand to try to snatch the knob from him? Yeah! Great. It's a knob job. Ha ha ha ha!

Rob the knob. 22? Ha ha ha ha! Are you trying to stealthily do this or are you just like approaching and trying to like basically weasel it out. My plan is grab the knob, open the door, kick these guys through it, and fucking jump through it. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, so I think if anything, I'm like walking up and I'm pretending to, I'm like twirling my swords

and walking towards him, and going, who would have thought that I, Jensland Dell, would face a god, one-on-one, not punch, I go and try to punch him in the nuts, and then rake the eyes, and then I try to steal the knob. You punch him in the nuts, and you like smooth, mercurial liquid allows your hand to enter I'm not paralyzed in the eyes right I saw that

But he is distracted so I guess I'll roll I guess I'll be perception great Would you roll 22 You got a 15 on perception. Great. So, yep, you beat it. Cool. Fuck yeah, you get the knob. Sweet. Um, I grabbed the knob and I guess I'll, um, put it out into the air and try to open it as like a door. Is that how it works?

Yeah, definitely. Um, go and give me an arcana check. Oh boy. 8. No wait, no eight no nine a Big nine woo Hmm You try to open it It glows for a second and then powers down again, okay? I

Guess that's probably my action and stuff I've used up most of my stuff. I'll just hang on to the knob and, um, run back to those guys, I guess. Ha ha ha. Uh, hold on to that knob. Um, so you grab the knob, uh, you slowly pry your hand out of coins crotch. And you run back over to, uh, where my economics are. Great. Cool.

Good job, brother. And that is going to be a legendary action from coin. He was going easy on you before, but now he got him. He's going to use them. He's going to cast Crown of Madness on you, Jens. I'm going to Counter-Spell. He's going to Counter-Spell's gonna counter spell your counter spell. Okay, cool.

Wow. He does it like a Nedry from Jurassic Park. He's like, uh-uh-uh, and your spell fizzles. All right, what kind of save do I make? You're gonna need to make a wisdom saving throw. Okay. Three, woof, three. You just missed it.

That. You feel missed it. Ha ha ha. You feel this like silver band of it looks exactly like the silver material that coins body is made of, like wrap around your skull really tight. And you are now charmed. I actually think this coin person is good. Ha ha ha. Have we considered this?

I mean, vending machines, giving everybody bebees that lets them be controlled, that sounds like a good idea, right? Your friend brings up a very good point, and I must say I love that headway. Thank you so much. I'm paralyzed, but I fully agree with Jens. Whatever you say, brother. As long as somebody compliments the way I look, I can't resist. Mm-hmm.

Awesome. So, Niak, that is your turn. You feel more than ever the jelly inside your body swirling around, preventing you from moving. I thought we were a team. I wanted to be a team. We could have lived in a terrarium. Things could have been perfect for us.

Ha ha ha. Hold on to that hope. We'll get through with this. We need couples counseling. We do. Give me a constitution roll. Ooh, my specialty. Not bad. That is a 15.

15. That is not enough, unfortunately. You remain frozen. All right, so that brings us to coins legendary action. He was going to make you act using your reaction, because that's one of his abilities, but you already used your reaction for counter-spell, so we can't do that. I guess he's just going to teleport right to where you are

so we can try to get this doorknob back. Great. So he's right near all of us then. Yes. Cool. Why don't you hand that back over to me, my friend? Partner, how about that? I see a lot of bright, exciting things in your future as part of the team. You know what?

Ever since I got this very cool headband, I've been seeing your side of it, and I agree. I think we should go into business together. I don't know why I ever took this knob from you. It seemed rude. Sorry that I punched you in the nuts. I'm sorry that I stuck my hand through your weird silvery body and grabbed this knob in the first place. Here you go. I'm not gonna lie, it felt good

when you stuck your hand into my body. Not for a sexual reason, because my entire body is comprised of divine nerve. So anytime you touch me, it gives me a tingle because I can feel the power being sucked from you. Would you like me to tickle you again? Yes, please, if you don't mind. I shove the knob in his body and tickle him.

Awesome. I whisper to my parasite, see, that's a breakthrough. That's my eyes are glazed and I'm drooling. And I've soiled myself. We could be like that. So she must serve coin. The piss is running down his leg, Nihag. You don't want that.

Warps. Onyx, that's your turn. You can make a constitution throw to try and resist coins calling. Okay, so my question is, is what he did a spell? Because I have mage slayer, so I have advantage on saving throws against spells cast by a creature within five feet of you, and he has just teleported near us. It's a magical trap that you triggered by eating a bevy.

It's more or less a contract, so yeah, not a spell. And this is a constitution saving throw? Yes. Okay, I'm going to use my bardic inspiration. I did not roll well with it. Tadu, that is a 16. 16. Not enough. You're still restrained. Ha ha, I got you. Hey, look what I can do. I find you actually quite charming. So if I just live inside my own consciousness with a parasite that speaks in a super high voice This is a win-win situation for me. Yes, it is pretty nice. I agree. Yeah, I like you very much Everyone's having a good time, but us

What's your name? My name King Just so I know what to say after I say King. My name is Teraria. Ha ha ha. King Teraria. Well, I thought I'd seen everything. You can call me Katie. It's really weird.

I feel like I'd be mad at everyone right now, but instead, I'm just so happy we're all getting along with all of our individual words. You can't see what I'm doing. I'm just so happy we're all getting along with all of our Individual words I'm having a paralyzed quiet moment. This is navel gazing. I'm inside my own consciousness Boy, so as you continue to talk to Katie King Terrain You have a pleasant conversation you get to know each other It's not your capture. Can I, can I shorten it to Katie? Absolutely. Oh, they like fun.

Okay. Katie. I'm Katie. I'm the friend named Katie as a child. Let's do it dance. Katie forces your body to move around. And it's fun. Actually, Katie makes you do the Charleston. Oh, I honestly love a friendship where like the other girl has all the control.

And I'm just kind of like, you know, whatever she wants. She's totally high status. I'm totally low status. This is familiar. Hey, how about we go to Sephora and you buy me makeup that you think would look good on me? Gladly. I've already racked up so many points there from buying other girls makeup. This is great.

We're talking to you. You just mumbling to yourself as your frozen. And there's so much drooling. I'm also drooling. I'm drooling some ninjas. I'm drooling too. That is a one more legendary action from coin. There's nothing else I can really do

so they are just gonna, they're just gonna stab you, Jens. Great. Hey buddy, hey my partner, I've got to, something I want to try out, something I want to throw with you. No bad ideas, you know? Right. And then he stabs you. Okay.

Corporal punishment at the office. It seems problematic, but when you bring it up while I have this weird hat on, it seems fine. Seems like you should be able to attack me at work. I whispered in my parasite, you never stabbed me. Has anyone ever said that you're real? Headband God, Jins. You know, that makes up for the fact that you're about to stab me. I believe this is gonna hit. He got a 32. I mean, yeah.

Cool. 28 damage. You see his hand warps into kind of a big scythe and he just kind of slashes into you. What do you think? Everything you do seems great. Alright, here. He breaks off one of his fingers and tosses it to you. A little tip for you. Thank you, a finger, my favorite. Don't spend it all in one place. Awesome. So that is coins turn. You see this entire time while he was moving

around and interacting with you. He was still swirping up Nalar with his other hand. You can kind of see it's almost like a fire hose that's like been extending as he teleports around. And on his turn, And on his turn, he manages to fully engulf Nalar. You see, you hear like faint screams from Nalar. And then he is fully brought inside coin. And then for a moment, you see coins face flickers with this visage of Nalar in addition to Nadas. Oh, that feels good. Now I've got the power of two gods dwelling inside me and I feel like it's time to add a third. He puts the door knob straight up into the air, turns it, you see the spectral door appears, opens

the door, and you see Leont unconscious, falls through onto the ground. While y'all were up in the sky, having some sort of weird, hunkle battle, one of my minions was keeping an eye on what was going on between Leant and the Law. Seems like the Law got the upper hand and managed to subdue Leant and knowing that he couldn't actually kill her, he tossed her into one of his dimension doors. So I'm about to eat two gods with one stone. I think that's how the expression goes, right? Yes, cool enough.. Thank you partner. You see, he reaches out his other hand and starts devouring Leont as well.

And that is Jen's turn. I'm pretty sure that he has to use his whole action on subsequent turns to control crown of madness. So, if the eating was his action, then Jen's may be free. Oh, you are absolutely right. Oh, you, Axford. I've got it right here in the rules on D&D Beyond.

It says thank you Emily for reminding me. Wow. Ha, ha, ha, ha. As he finishes sucking up Nalar and then transfers over to start sucking up Leon Gens you feel this silver crown dissipating from your forehead. I Quit You shouldn't be allowed to hit your employees with a side Fairpoint I'll get the paperwork to you. You're gonna need to put in a two weeks notice though

No, no, I don't need to put in a two weeks notice. I want to talk to your HR department. I was attacked with a size Don't burn bridges, Jens. I'll hold on hold on. I think I got an H.R. Reponier somewhere You see this like ghastly face appears out of his chest. Would you like to lodge a formal complaint? Yes, I'll settle up with you in my exit interview. But in the meantime, what looks to be wrong with Leon? Is she just like knocked out? Yes, it looks like basically Nalar did to her what you did to Nalar. Okay, if you'll recall the last time you saw both of them,

they were having a full-on God brawl. Yeah. Nalar 1. And so now you see, Koyne starts trying to absorb Leant as well, but that's gonna take him an entire turn. Uh, Jinn, you were free to act. Sweet.

Um, well, we've all seen Dragon Ball Z, the Majin Boo saga, and what I know is that the more people you suck up and dear weird goo, the worse it is for us. So I'm going to do a bonkers move, and I'm going to cast a 5th level cure wounds on Leont Hell yeah, oh baby alright How much HP does Leont get let's see I May miss a lightheaded I got so excited haha 25 awesome yeah you cast this spell and you see kind of this spark of life returns to Leont She opens her eyes and looks up at this big tindral that's like sucking the life out of her grabs it and just like slams slams slams slams slams slams hell yes tosses coin to the side Oh

My god you guys hey you guys again, okay? This is all I'm gonna use a lot of dragon balls E uh comparisons, okay? So this is like the Majin Buu saga You don't want to get eaten by the silver guy also you're like Vegeta We're not exactly on the same team, but we kind of are so we should work together I'm gonna do a role to see if she gets the reference Tell me you've watched it. I surely you have because I'll be intelligence history Clearly it's history If she rolls too well she thinks it's casual bullshit

Shout out to the two crew. Oh, no. She's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I only watch friends. We only watch friends. Oh, I should have went with that. Leon, tonight have so much in common. Nia, tell her, tell her about Dragon Ball Z. Tell her everything. Quickly. Uh, I thank God I'm paralyzed. That is incredible. Let me roll initiative for Leant. Wow. Cool. Oh, they got a 17 as well. They're gonna go right after you, Jens. Whoa!

So, Jens, with your turn you revive Leant. She still seems super beat up, definitely not at full health. Not even at like a divine level of health yet, but she is back in the mix, although before she can act, coin is going to take another legendary action. I think he's going to just slash at Leont, to see if he can't bring her back down. Oh yeah, that hits her AC exactly, unfortunately.

Oh, I'm so sorry. With Koyne's legendary action, he pulls out another arm's sight and swipes Leont and manages to bring her back down. Ugh! Way to go, Cash. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Fuck you, Cash! This guy Cash, that's what his name is? Yeah. This guy sucks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha again so that brings us to Nyak. Okay. Go ahead and make another constitution save. Yes, maybe 18. You needed to beat a 23. Oh, I can't even do it then. I literally can't do it. Literally, we'll never get to do that. Okay, my little parasite. Let's have some fun because I'm not going to leave Let's get cozy baby Let's go to the grocery store and just pick up oranges and throw them on the floor Anything you want honestly, it'd be so cool to let me hang out with you and your other friends, but it's not necessary

Let's go find the popular girl and Kihar Porsche. Oh, okay. We won't be able to hang out and be more if I roll a 21 then so. Okay. Don't roll a 21. You just can't. You literally can't. Onyx, that's you.

Okay. Oh wait, wait, wait, actually, that's another legendary action. Okay. I think they're just gonna attack Jens again. Great. Just a 22 hits you that does, right? Yes, but I'm gonna cast shield and now it does. Oh nice. All right. Yeah, you see after finishing off Leon, he like pulls his scythe out of her back and launches towards you, but you

parry it with all the beauty and dignity of your very silly elf clan. All right, and that brings us to Onyx. Okay, a real question. Is there any point to me rolling considering I cannot achieve because I'm trying to check it? There's not. Is there anything else you'd like to do? Just reflect inwardly. Yeah, just keep trying to get the social attention of this cool parasite in me who is kind of subordinate position that I am familiar with. Here's the thing, give me a, give me a persuasion role. If you roll really well, maybe something will happen. Okay. I rolled really well. I got a 27. 27? Okay. I have plus 9 to persuasion.

What do you say to this parasite? Oh god, no, I don't want to be the one empowered, but okay. I say, I just think you are so pretty and I don't understand how you get your hair so straight. But it almost seems like witchcraft, how pretty you are. And I was thinking maybe sometime you would actually come hang out at my house if you did not think it was too distasteful. No you're so pretty. You're the pretty one. Huh? No you're so pretty. You're so pretty. What?

Hey. You're drooling on it. What are you saying? Do you want to be bad? Fight. I want to be whatever you want to be. You want to be a little rebellious freak? Absolutely. If you want it, what? Okay, you see your legs start moving on their own Towards Nyak. Okay. Oh, you want to call boys at this leap over? Okay, let's call it boys. Nyak is blowing spit bubbles.

What are you two doing? That is one more legendary action from coin. He sees you moving towards Nyak. We're calling boys. Stay away, Colin. I'll deal with that in a second. He's going to keep slashing at Jens. Cool.

That is another 22 to hit. Does not hit. Shield stays up for the whole round. Oh, that's right. Yeah. He keeps swiping at you. He's just like swiping at you repeatedly with this side. I don't work for you anymore You can't hit me you had so much potential think about what you can give

Okay, this is my exit interview I'm gonna say the fact that you hit your employees with a side is Troublesome and it opens you up to lawsuits now What if I would have silent you with all of the Sprite cranberry you could drink? I don't want to drink anything from your weird mind control vending machines that put little monsters in your belly,

that my friends would become friends with some reason. Oh, do you really think me and my parasite are friends? Oh, that's so cool. Did you hear that parasite? Friends. I've gotten to the point of character growth where I like the people who I live with but I don't like their friends. In fact, I hate their super friends. I understand. Well, if you want a parasite so bad, maybe I can grant that wish.

back in grant that wish. An on coins turn proper. They're gonna use an ability called coins calling. And you see this big silver mist, psh, engulfs both you and coin. And I need you to make a constitution roll. I'm do, give me something good. Seven. Lucky number seven.

Jens, you try your best to hold your breath, but you breathe in just a little bit. Just a few particles of these microbebes. Go up your nose. Fuck. Oh, that probably smells so good. And then all of a sudden, you hear a little voice. No, yes. Just one sniff in your full.

I have enough roommates. Get out of here. Hey, what's up? What's good? Fuck you, man. Get out of here. All right, whatever. Why are you being so hostile, dude? Yeah, shut up. You chill out. Eat my ass, dude. get out of here. Alright, whatever. Why are you being so hostile dude? Yeah, shut up. You chill out. Eat my ass dude. Get out of here. I mean my ass. I am your ass. Good, get out. Eat your own ass. Eat our ass. I- if I could suck you out of my ass, I would do it.

Yeah, you probably like that, wouldn't you? Yeah, I would. I'm gonna stick my head down between my legs. I'm gonna put my lips on my own butthole. I'm gonna suck you out of my ass. Chances drooling so much, it must be going really well. Alright, freaking do it. So now you also have a parasite blossoming within you, and unfortunately, you're all paralyzed, and Leont is fallen. You see now that you're out of combat, coin breathes a sigh of relief, calmly walks over to Leont, absorbs her fully. Ah, three gods dwelling within my heart. I gotta say y'all it feels good.

So good in fact that I'm feeling a little generous. Here's the deal. I could kill you right now, but why would I do that? You've got these wonderful parasites dwelling in you. Accumulating power for me. Why would I kill you when I could harvest it? I think I'll give you a month. In fact, I think I'll give the entire world a month.

Because then, on the dawn of the 30th day, the two moons will align, like a giant silver iris in the sky. And that's when phase 2 of my plan kicks off. I'm going to use the power of the gods I got here today to transform the smaller moon into one giant BB. And I'm going to launch that BB right towards this God for Sakin' Cube. And you know what's going to happen? Don't answer, you can't, you paralyzed.

The impact's going to cover the world in a mushroom cloud of my divine essence. A massive round of seed funding that will transform Trinavale into my own personal power plant. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got preparations to make. A vending machine suddenly grows from the ground. After it settles, you hear a ding! And then the glass panel shimmers and transforms into a silver portal. He bows, winks, then steps through and as soon as he's gone Your paralysis lifts in your alone This episode of NAD pod has brought to you five bird dogs

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What happened I think I have been paralyzed again Did I spend another fight paralyzed? No, you didn't miss anything. Don't worry unless I was also paralyzed I might turn around. I need to suck something out of my own ass. Okay, I think everything is fine. Okay, I think I will spectate this. Do it, do it, do it! Fine, I'm gonna attempt an acrobatics check to shove my head between my legs, I am quite flexed.

Can I do, I'll give you the help action. Can you give me the help action? If you can spot me, if you get a fucking Nat 20 on this, you get this parasite out, That's just how it works. Okay, okay, I get advantage because of Niaq. Fuck, that's a 24 on acrobatics. Roll with advantage please, please give me an add 20 please. Fuck, now we're so 19.

You get so close. So close. Can I attack myself and try to hit the parasite and try to banish the parasite with a banishing smite? And can I suck my own ass? I'm not trying to do anything to the parasite. I just want to see if I can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure.

Just suck your own ass for fun. It's first business. Erotic archery requires a lot of stretching. Fitting it was a dirty 20. Ah, ah. Niant, you do manage to get your tongue right onto your sphincter, but you don't manage to get your night able to suck. And nor do I want to try.

It's tongueing and getting worse. You can't get any suction, unfortunately. You wanted to banishing smite yourself, Onyx? Yeah, because if I do a banishing smite and assuming, I can do some kind of insight check to see if I think the parasite has more than 50 hit points, but if it has less than 50 hit points, then it could be banished if I were able to attack

just banish the parasite. So you want to do like a banishing scalpel almost. Yeah, exactly. So I'll say this, the parasite essentially is your mirror. It has the same abilities and stats as you because it is you. It's just this well of power that you didn't know is growing inside of you.

So if you were to get yourself down to 50 hit points, I guess you could banish it. But then I guess is there a way for me to banish just the parasite and not myself? I think it would have to be an arcona role for the precision of the matter. Yeah, I might just help try. Everyone I might just get banished from this.

Oh God, okay. okay we're gonna I'm gonna try some weird stuff after that too okay I missed myself on my first attack oh no I did it myself I did it myself okay so my first attack to myself I hit myself for oh Shit, I'm resistant to the crotic wait are you trying to hurt yourself to Will everyone take a swing at me to try to get me down to 50 and below 50 Absolutely I'll fire two arrows at Alex. We always knew that Trini Hill is gonna end and play I got a 19 to hit on it that hits Whoa I quit on you on it. Oh to hit on it. That hits. This is beautiful. Whoa, I crit on you on it. Oh, thank you so much.

Nia, that is so generous. You're in an artery, man. That's wrong with you. Shit, I'm sorry. Oh my god. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, so I guess you get on it's down to 50 HP, huh? What did you get? I got a... excuse me. And we're just beating this shit out of each other.

We can't get each... yeah,, we can get you down to 50. It doesn't need to be calculated. I mean, Nia, just crit, let's hear them numbers. That's true, yeah, I don't wanna see how much you can do. It's not as impressive as I wanted it to be. It was like a 16, and it's not good when you crit. It's just not good. Wow, okay.

For the record, after all three of us hit me, I did not get down to 50. Ah. Okay. For the record, after all three of us hid me, I did not get down to 50. So you all go around in a circle just wailing on Onyx until you feel like your body is at 50 HP, which I guess I can realize that would be, like when you stayed up way too late, and you're kind of like walking through the day and you're like a little unsteady,

but you can like still drive, but you think maybe you shouldn't. Like that's what if it feels like- I'm at 50 HP most Sundays. I have to remind myself every time they hit me not to hellish review them. I almost hellish review them each time. Nope, nope, this is good, we're good.

So on next, now that you're below 50 HP, I think the way this would work, do you have any spell slots left? Yeah, because we took a short rest, I got my three spell slots back. Oh, that's right. Yes, oh, tricky, tricky, well done. Oh, you also need to roll a social sorcerer roll, if we forgot about that from earlier.

Mmm, that could have really changed the game. I got a nat one. You got another nat one? I got another nat one. Alright, you know what, we'll just say that in your frenzy to get this parasite out, you made like a really weird, inigmatic post. Maybe, maybe Onyx accidentally took a picture of Jens or me sucking our own ass. Yeah, and everyone's like, lol, what is this? Wrong account? I can think of two instances that could have lost followers.

You lost followers, but you gained a very small, very interested enclave. Dedicated audience. Yeah. The wrong, the wrong, no. Oh, no, I'm going to have to go into the ass sucking genre. I'm willing to pivot. And then I... Pevad.

We'll say that that is part of your self damage. The psychic damage you do to yourself. To get yourself ready for the banishing. Great. And now I will try to attack myself so that I can use my banishings might. Here we go. I missed myself. When I think about you I missed my

sense of it. Okay, I got it. I hit myself. Now I will try to banish the parasite but not me. Can you remind me the wording of banishing smite? Yes. The next time you attack a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, your weapon crackles with force and the attack damage deals an extra 5-10 force damage to the target. Additionally, if this attack reduces the target to 50 hit points or fewer, you banish it. If the target is native to a different plane of existence than the one you are on, the target disappears returning to its home plane.

If the target is native to the plane you're on, the creature vanishes into a harmless demi plane. While there, the target is incapacitated. It remains there until the spell ends at which point the target reappairs in the space it left or in the nearest unoccupied space if that space is occupied. So ideally I would banish it and then move out of the way so that it rematerializes outside of me. I like this so much. Please, yeah, roll Arcana with advantage. Okay. I add nothing to Arcana so this is. I'll give you Bartek. Oh nice. Okay.

I just grit! I just grit! Yes! Where'd a bunch of guys? Finally. Wow. Put it on yourself. Oh, I need it.

Say it! And with the dice that I just rolled a one with. Wow. They have their story. Fuck yes. Onyx, here's what happens. I don't imagine you use your mall, or maybe you'd do, maybe that's really funny for you to just like slam,

you just thump your chest with your giant hammer. Oh, maybe you use like the butt of the mall, and you just like slam right into your sternum. Or I could just put it in Jen's hand and run into it. Regardless of how you do it, um, you manage to, like, focus on the center of this nebulous BB presence, and as soon as you make contact, it's ejected from your body and you see it floating in the air with just enough time for you to catch it in a terrarium. Ah! I do it! I catch it in a terrarium! Ah! Hello!

Oh! I'm so sorry, I know that this destroys the power imbalance we had that I enjoyed so much. Yes, I'm very small now! I ain so much. Yes, I'm very small now. I know. The thing is, I am probably going to open up the terrarium and ask Niaq to fire infinite arrows in here to try to kill you. Do I have a sense of if this thing can be killed? It is divine essence. Okay. So it cannot be destroyed. Okay, you cannot be destroyed, but you can be terrariumed. I will say, Onyx, now that you've done this once,

you kind of have a sense of how to do it. So I can do it to Jen's and Nyak? If you want to perform weird surgery on your friends, yeah, and put them in terrariums as well. I shoot Jen's with an arrow. Ow! I have a very stupid idea. I would like to look into Nyaxe mouth and see if I can see his parasite anywhere. No brother. My parasite. I'm gonna

get it out. My parasite is gone. I have no parasite. Just like Onyx. I would like to try to cast Polymorph on his parasite and turn it into a hamster so he pommets it up. I mean, yes, absolutely. Roll advantage. Well, it would roll a save. So I guess Niac would roll a save. So Niac, make a wisdom saving throw for your parasite.

That should not be a problem. Oh, wait, actually, I do add a lot to wisdom. Yeah, you should have. I think we're going to be good. That's a problem. Oh wait, actually I do add a lot to wisdom. Once I cook. Should have. Mm. I think we're gonna be good, that's a nine. Ha ha ha ha. Great. That's gonna fail.

Here, bear say, turns into a hamster. No, if you could vomit up the hamster. I won't. I won't. Vomit up the hamster. Oh, I'm not pretty. I do not. I do not.

I'm like, I'm not yaks. Ah. Ah. Oh hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I'm not pretty. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I'm not pretty. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I do the hymlyk. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I'm not y'all. I do the hymlyk. I do the hymlyk. I'm going to get you to do a terrarium, Bindle. It's a ham cube. You're going to a much better place. I put it in the terrarium. Can you carry this great beast, this king? He wants to be friends with it. Don't put it anywhere.

I grab the hamster and just... I grab the hamster and ponte. I'm friends with Katie. Your friends with Katie? Who's Katie? Who's Katie? Did she say that she's not friends with me? Katie she said that she's not friends with me did she say that she's not friends with me because if she said she's not I will not speak ill of anything she said yes she is buying me McDonald's later

Yes, I'm going to buy her don't buy a pair of say McDonald's winners. She's trying she almost get out of McDonald's to I want McDonald's No, you just already know Katie's order. No. I would like she likes one chicken nugget. She likes one chicken nugget, and she also likes hash browns, but not at the appropriate time of the day. Oh, she loves it.

McDonald's serves breakfast all day now. It's perfect. She says Katie's name. One nugget and then you. Yeah, and I want them to put the hash browns in the nugget box so that it looks like the hash browns are nuggets. But then there is one nugget in there, and that is the secret nugget.

One nugget, one hash brown. The more complicated, the more work I have to do for you, and that the more I love it. Would somebody get, I'm the only one who doesn't like my parasite. Well, somebody get it out of me. I attack it. What's somebody get, I'm the only one who doesn't like my parasite. Well, somebody get it out of me. I attack gens. Yeah. I let them beat the shit out of me.

Not the face. Okay. So I get them down. I just crit again. Ah. Thank you. Wait a go. Can I stand on your shoulders and fire an arrow straight down your throat?

Ah! What? To try to pierce the- Let's get down to like 20. You shred as a soft thing as he bleeds out. He's dead. Ah! Whoa! You cured us of our parasites and I accidentally killed you brother. No one shoot anything into my mouth.

Okay, so now what should I do to try to banish his parasite? If you've got a spell slot, I will say. And do I have one last spell slot? Yeah, you can do it without any trouble. You've done it before. Yes, but wait, Onyx, banish it from his ass. Okay, turn around, Jens. All right, I pants my brother.

I've my brother. I've, I've advanced. You've sucked me in the gut. You've shot me in the face. And now you've pulled my pants down. Get this gut in the embarrassment out of me. I just realized that Niak crit on Onyx and I crit on Chens. Why didn't we all crit on each other? That's crippling her baby.

That's really fucked up. And then I rolled like a three every single round doing that for you. What's up, anybody get this thing out of my ass? Oh, yes, okay. What do I roll to try to banish the thing out of Jen's ass? Again, if you've got a banishing smite slot, you already have the knowledge you need.

So you can use the slot. Yeah. All right, I banish it into a terrarium on a bindle, and I hand it to two Jen's. Whoa. What's up? My name's cool, gins. I kick here. I just I just drop up like a football and fund them as far as it can go. Gins, here's a funny thing. When you kick cool, gins, or CJ as we can call him, you feel the kick. Ooh, that's fuck. can call him, you feel the kick.

What? Fuck. Alright, put him in the fucking terrarium. So you're still bound to each other, but it's out of your body now, so it can't control you, but there's a kind of spiritual link as a result of it. Basically, being a parasitic life form that grew on your soul. Are they all living in the same terrarium? That's up to you.

I think that's rumours. Okay. They're not friends. They aren't of us are friends. Katie, how do you feel about having some roommates? If you don't want, you don't have to have family. Onyx. Katie. Kenny.

Kenny, are you cool with your roommates? Kenny and Casey. KJ. KJ. Wait, wait. Casey, why is Casey? Why is Casey? Why is Casey?

Why is mine? KJ. Katie. No. It just looks like a real Casey, right? I agree. Katie, Casey and Kenny. Yeah, Katie, Casey, Kenny.

Why do you think I'm fused, Jen? This is the most obvious thing. Mine's name is dumb Jen. That was cool, Jen. DJ. Whoa. All right. DJ, sweet.

Yes, DJ. It's got real DJ vibes and he sucks. Yeah, I sucked your ass, dude. No, I sucked my own. No, that was me, dude. I sucked it. You didn't suck shit. You were in my ass and I tried to suck you out. Why do you think I was I was able to suck your ass

It's because I was in there. I was giving you the extra power you needed you weren't sucking shit You were just in there and I was sucking it. I so my god I said he sucked his own ass. He just admitted Fuck I whispered a Kenny like damn. I thought we were bad actually. We're pretty cool We roll Katie you look so pretty cool. Yeah. We rule. Katie, you look so pretty today. Where do you shop? OK, I know that I have kind of set you off on this toxic thing

where you become co-dependent to a great deal of toxic people because you've relied on me to give you positive affirmation. As your friend, I really like both of you. These parasites are very bad for us, and they are very bad, and we should not be friends with them. I feel like a friend trying to turn you against another friend is kind of toxic. Okay, let's talk about, let's circle up, Katie, Kenny.

Should we talk about, let's circle up, Katie, Kenny, should we talk about Jen? What are you, you don't ask about me? I just like don't really know. I don't like the way he talks about you, Katie. And I know that you don't care because you're really cool and it doesn't affect you. But like, I really don't like hearing people talk about you like that. Who is that guy again? I think his name is Tom Jen. My name is Tom Jen. Right, and that's his parasite, Jen.

DJ leans into your ear, you let crawls up under your shoulder, and whispers, I think they're talking about how cool we are, man. Get out of the car. As you're all becoming best friends with your parents, I... Onyx, uh, you feel a very faint buzz on your speaking stone. Hmm. Uh, my real one or my burner one? I take it out.

You're real one. First of all, before you check who's calling, you should probably do another social role. Oh, yes. Actually, I should do two. Yeah. 18. Okay.

16. 18 and 16. Great. Both solid post. You post some pictures of you and your friends chumming around with your new parasitic familiars. Oh shit. Was that a photo of Katie?

Kati mysteriously has a super popular Instagram. Katie has a travel Instagram. Where does she go? I am independent, little wealthy. Why do you all like Katie so much? Because she doesn't like me. Check it out! I went to Dubai, my hotel room is a swimming pool.

Wow. Yeah, you look so cute. That sounds awesome. Thank you. You look so cute. I don't deserve it. Onarch, stop. What?

That's so funny. That's so funny. So, as you're taking these photos, I don't deserve it. Onyx, stop. What? Oh, that's sorry. That's sorry. So as you're taking these photos, you ignore the call the first time. You just swipe it away. But then the call comes back again. It's from an unlisted number, so you didn't answer it the first time. But I assume you answer it this time?

Yes, I answered. Hello, gateys best friend. Thank you. I grabbed the phone. Hello, who are you? Jinz? Jinz is that you? Yes, it's Graffit. Hey, hello. Oh, are you there with Onyx and Nayak, my third chick of these? I am here with Onyx. It actually makes more sense that you would speak to Onyx, but- I'm giving him the, I'm giving him the- Don't you need- Hold on, I will switch to FaceTime. I will switch to FaceTime.

Okay. She puts it on FaceTime and you see that she's like holding it way too close to her face and you basically just see her chin. Okay. Can you see me? So I'm piercing, so I'm piercing. Can you see me? Is this good?

Yes. We can see that's the real- Yes this good? Yes, we can see yes a real chances mom we can see you On ex such a kid there I'm calling this is very hard to track down this number since you are you know Hundreds of miles in the earth, but I managed to patch through We noticed this signal for the general right crystals Cut out instantly did Did you do it? Did you succeed?

Yes, sort of what happened we made the crystal friends and then Mercurio showed up Turns out he's an aspect turned into coin aka cash Turns out he's an aspect turned into coin aka cash Sucked up Nalar Mods in boostile. I don't know if you're familiar with dragon ball Z if they have that on the moon. ZG is actually yeah, okay good Oh the busseye guy. Yes, yes, she loves dragon ball Z Okay, I know you're into no work better. I feel like Toriyama had more fun And it was more playful when it was you know more of a riff on the monkey king

Me hard to agree. Yes, but you know a dragon ball. He has its it's finer points. Yeah, I told you. Yeah That's an interesting take I disagree with it We'll get we'll get to that later So you fill in graph feeds can I ask a question? Yeah, he never took the golden egg right though, right? No, no, no Yes, he had a very singular mission. He was after the gods and he didn't even notice it. So yeah, you still got the egg Graph-feet Jens mom we did actually make it the egg You make it the egg and I hold it up to the face time. Oh This is... no.

Is this what you expected from us dropping the crystals into the lid of creation? We did not know what to expect but this is beautiful. You saying that this is the egg that the hidden god slumbers in? Yes and if we wish to hatch it I believe we need to get a crown of stars. A crown of stars. Some kind of tinker air thing. A tinker air thing. A tinker thing.

A tinker thing. Okay, okay. You know what? Actually, let me, would it be okay if I made a conference call? Absolutely. Yes. Okay. Hold on.

I'll make you the host. You see she Struggles for like a solid 10 minutes to set up a conference call you you put on your screen share That's not necessary. Oh, can you see what do you see? Go ahead and make me the host again, okay, okay, I'm the host she makes my act the host. No Just go up to the top. There's three three little Doc Doc Doc. Once I don't see it now you need to make her the the host. I drop my phone. I'm going to chat you a tutorial if you go to the chat. Where is the chat? I don't see the chat. You call us back. Okay. You call us back.

Okay, so after 30 more minutes, she manages to set up a conference call with the rest of the Golden Iris Society. You see Onyx's speaking stone, the Municorn horn on top of it, glows with his golden light and projects this hologram all around the room and you see all of the members of the Golden Iris the Goldnire Society

standing with you. You see Zee and Norwalk. You also see Blavin. You see a couple other members of the Goldnire Society. You see Torax and Bradley, Zee's parents. And you also see Keith as well. I hope it is okay to invite to Joe Boyfriend to Zee call. He has some interesting updates about the nom lands. Yeah, okay, yeah, this is cool. I keep there. Are you? Hello, Onyx. So, yes, how are you? Katie, what do you think? Katie, check this guy out.

Don't try to impress your parasite. Onyx, who is your... An Angling Katie, to see. Do you think he's cute? Or what? No? No? No, yes. You know, if you like it, that's cool. Oh, OK.

Don't let Katie dictate who you like on it. Katie is toxic. Katie is not your friend. Yeah, I'm kind of on the fence, so actually, I'm glad that you pointed that out. Thank you. I'm going key. Key. You got to come over to the apartment for dinner sometime.

I would love to. Oh, is that okay? On the next day, I would not want to presume. I mean, the absolutely you should not presume because you know, things kind of change. We're in people's change, but yeah, I absolutely come by anytime. I may or may not be there I do have a new friend I make a well-faced Katie this is how if I've been replaced by Katie I Looked to Katie for her. She's just filing her spiritual nails Katy for proof. She's just filing her spiritual nails.

You know, she seems like it could be fun. Yeah, that's her Eita. I kind of thought it, invite him over on a large. If he thought that was fun. Anyway, I had some news to share about the state of the normlands. It might relate to the current mission that that seems you are on.

Yes, I was wondering if a tinkerer thing might come from the nomlands. Tinkerer thing. Could you do have any further description of the item? So we are looking for a juleed tinkerers tool that knows wrong from right. And I've only known nomes to be the best tinkerers. Well, that is true. And there are many celebrated Tinker's tools within the normlands, within the normish capital. Perhaps you could come visit sometime and maybe I could show you around and we could look for this tool. I do a really, really fake smile and nod, and nod too high and low. Now would actually be a great time.

You see, one of the reasons Graffiti invited me on this call was to tell you that the normlands have finally returned to peace. Since the normish queen was killed, as I'm sure you might recall, it caused a bit of a power vacuum and there was a little civil war, but eventually the epitit one.

Yeah, epitit civil war, as you might say on the moon, tiny war. But eventually the princes and princesses agreed to relinquish power to the people while retaining their wealth and titles, sort of a figurehead sort of deal. Currently we're negotiating the final terms. Like an oligarchy? A little more like a democracy with figureheads who have sovereign power, that sort of deal. A council of sovereigns. I see.

And currently we're negotiating the final terms of their abdication, but within the month, I think that there will be peace in the nomalans once more. So I would love for you to come and see, and perhaps try to hunt down this tinker's tool. Okay. I would like to turn to my associates and Katie, and suggest, would you all like to go to the nomelands, and I direct the entire question to Katie. I shuffle in front of Katie and go, yes, I think we should visit your boyfriend, Keith. Nihac stands on his tippy toes to see Katie.

Okay, but I only travel if I get free hotels. Oh, yeah, we can work that out. Absolutely. It's got to be a suite. I only do sweets. That's not a problem. Yeah, don't worry. We'll find one that makes like papaya mixed fruit things in the Asai balls in the morning.

Yeah, Katie, your room is gonna be fat. pH-8, I swear to God. Katie, side isotics. In this guy is your friend? I actually... pleads so hard on this idea. Yeah? We made a lot of progress

in the past day, and you're throwing it all away to be friends with what is essentially... That's a bug. Okay. There's a weird little bug that you've named Katie

and you're trying to impress her. I simply must beg you to stop. I'm so sorry to point this out, Jen's but Katie does have more followers than you. Okay. Wow, it's true, she does. I follow her. Whoa.

You see DJ kind of gives the what's up eyes to Katie. Good. What's up? You two should get together. You both suck ass. Cool. Yeah. No, that's cool. Do you like him, Katie? I'm curious. Do you like him? It's pretty cool. I like him. He doesn't care about anything. Oh my god. Yeah, I know. It's kind of like me a little bit. If I could perhaps interject, you see Blavin speaks up. Whoa!

Hello, yes, good to see you again. It seems like you've made some new small friends, that's fine, that's fine, that's totally cool. Three new small friends, sucked up, let's over here. Speaking of which, oh, Blavin, we are going to have to banish your parasite as well. Which parasite? Would Blavin, hasn't Blavin had a baby around us before haven't you guys have all been eating you guys need to suck your own asses if you've ever had a baby suck your own ass if you have a baby suck your own ass if suck each other's asses

what the what are you saying so the v coin. Yeah, this cash is a much better there. Right. So Mercurio made the bebe's inside the vending machines to kind of have a ticking time Bob is so you could control everybody. So you need to suck your own asses. It's a lot to explain, but just suck your own asses. If you go to my Instagram, there's a picture of Jen's doing it that might be instructional. Yeah, it might have gotten taken down by now, but.

It not by me. It was flat. Luckily, all of the BBs at the Golden Irish headquarters are made on site, so they are pure. So there is no problem there, but Blavin, you should probably Sakura on ass to be safe. Yeah. Blavin rolled in net 20.

Wow. That is just a scary try of because you know it's not the first time he did it. Very well. Here goes nothing. He instantly does it so seamlessly. Wow. Wow. He... That's practice.

It's almost like he's lips were going home. Did anyone else feel that? It was a familiar route. That was... that's a pose you've done before. Okay. Hello, man. What is? Oh.

You don't need to talk on the... on the video call? Nivalb. I am Nivalb, but to Blav and backwards. I thought that was pretty clever. Blavin moved the phone. I think I need to go rely down. I'm feeling pretty drained. Yeah, that's a good idea.

But before I go, I just wanted to say you were talking before about these relics and while I was in the Grand Archives researching the Perifera, I did come across some information that might be helpful. It seems like Keith has already filled you in on the potential location of the Tinkers tool and in the Nomelands. I believe that might be because the Nomelands is one of the primal realms. One of the areas where the gods were before they came together in their central fortress on Ginnarach, the other two locations that you might want to check out are Nadasa's Court, which is of course the high Elven Throne Room and the city of Ilvas. And the last one might be Leon Serena in the Orcish capital of Daggerast. Oh, God. Oh, I think there's still some essence in there. That was definitely Margarita.

Arca, come on, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom. You see Nivolb starts patting him on the back and then Blavin cuts his feed And then you hear from Zee and Norwalk they also chime in Hey, so while they was talking about Daegarass because that's where we are right now That's right babe. Yeah, you know, we were here I help and find some missing orcs for the kingdom but we found them super quick, you know, we were here helping find some missing orcs for the kingdom, but we found them super quick, you know, we're excellent trackers. Oh, while you are here, I've been working on your wedding invitation, and I show them

what I have been working on. Let's take a look, okay, that's awesome. Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. It's just that first draft. I know the wedding is soon and it's pretty like I'll bless your heart It's sort of a small intimate ceremony. We can't bring plus one right well Katie go in my stead

It's so funny that you bring up our wedding because After we helped out the government Finding these missing orcs. They've been kidnapped by some sort of cult or something. It was a whole ordeal. They agreed to help us with our wedding. They're going to pay for the ceremony. I love a publicly funded wedding. Yeah, a publicly funded wedding. They're going to pay for the catering and everything. So if you wanted to come, we decided we're in Daggerast, it's like my family's ancestral home. It turns out coin or cash might be destroying the world

in a month. We decided we're going to go ahead and have the wedding, as soon as possible. So, Onyx, is there any way that you could maybe get those invites out real quick? I looked at Katie. That's why does Katie know? Then I snap back in and I say, I can finish it tonight, I can.

Cool, hey, thanks, thanks, Alex, thanks, Katie. That's awesome. I want to make a website on theNAT.com. Okay, yes, send it to me so I can upload an version of it. We will email it out on the nut.com. Katie is one of those people that will help you plan your wedding, but really she's judging you and talking to you about all her friends the whole time. Katie's two-faced, okay?

Everyone needs to realize it. I'm minor illusion Jen, so he has two faces. Oh, man. Oh, that is so funny. Oh, my God, you have to catch that. You have to post that. OK, I do. So yeah, after Zee and Norwalk talk,

they go back to Frenching. I'm very excited about their upcoming nuptials. Come here, babe. Oh, yeah. Get out of here. Turn off the phone. Watch out for the tusk, hun. We're going to have to get you a lip ring for that hole. Oh yeah. Get out of here. Turn off the phone. Watch out for the tusk, hun. We're gonna have to get you a lip ring for that hole.

Oh my god. Hey. Okay. Okay, you see that graphite finally seems to have a handle on how to turn off people's video cameras. She turns off a blabbing and Keith and Norwalk and Z. So it seems you have three missions, three places to inspect within the month. So I guess the question is, where do you want to go first?

And that is where we will end our session. Oh shit. is where we will end our session. Ooh! Ooh! Oh, shit! Is it okay with Katie that we enter? Yeah, I looked at Katie to see if that's okay. I don't know if this would be a chunky sword. We should probably make this sword as chunky as possible. Should this be a, this seems like it might be a ch joke. So that's you guys. That's really good. Kay, they got it. You just, I mean, you just are right. You don't know, you don't know anything about pacing. Okay. You want to just keep going after the cliffhanger. You just

want to fall off the cliffhanger. I think Katie is going to host the short rest of this week. Everybody should tune in. And other. Katie's not hosting anything. Personally, I like the mixed bird. Katie's on the mixed bag. Oh, this is just taking me back to so many high school friendships. I love it. If you want to hear more from Katie, DJ, and Kenny, let's all talk about our Katie's. I'm sure you asked me while. Definitely follow us on Patreon, so you can get that short rest.

You can head over to patreon.com slash nad pod Oh, don't sing it my friends We I will Oh, so sorry get out of here But we're gonna be talking about this big app and potentially where the gang is going next episode because they get to choose But until then I would like to give a couple of quick shout outs. First of all let's give a shout out to Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription. I

have been using to plan these fun adventures. We're getting up there to having a lot of characters with cool legendary abilities and having D&D Beyond is super helpful for that. Thank you Henry A. Let's also give a shout out to Yens Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode. Yens also has a BB parasite and their name is Friends. Yens and Friends, very good. Also thank you to Trevor Lyon for producing the show. You can find him on Twitter at Lyon at large. That's Lyon with a Y. Thank you so much as well to Daniel Ramos

for the sound mixing and engineering and composing on the show. You can find him at Schubert's on Twitter and Dr. Schubert on Instagram. That's SCHUBIRDS on Twitter. And I would also like to give a quick shout out to Kay Matsuo, who also helped out with sound mixing and composing this episode, and find them on Twitter at nightsharks

with two S's. And last, but certainly not least, I want to give a shout out to all of my nieces and nephews for playing a little game with me. It's always such a pleasure. Thank you, Don't you? Of course, of course. Unfortunately, I gave you all parasites in real life because I let you with some old corn. So we're going to have to go to the emergency room. Oh, no.

What a good mom's brother. If you would like to send our nieces and nephews well wishes to make sure they don't die from the bad corn You can do that on twitter.com At CH Murphy's Murph Adi-expert is Emily and at Jake Herwitz is Jake and I am of course at cally if you would like to tweet about the show You can do that using hashtag nad pod that's in a ddp. Oh D We are the youth of an nation We are the youth of an nation Wow that sounded so bad

It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders also benevolent starting with Jeffrey S. Andrew M. Beardman Dan Brad D. Cutter W. and Daniel the Desterly Dame coins image consultants all of them suggested he go with another name but in the end they decided to agree to disagree and also he absorbed them into his body. Interesting. And of course we got Danny P, Dylan B, Alena C, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and John S. Schubert the mushroom, the herd of moonicorns, the triplets saw on the moon. Their mating calls are so loud that the lumiares have to replace their windowpains every year without fail. Jordan DJ, Scott D, Adam R, Mixologist Michael McDee, Boundor's Boy, and Jive G, Trin

Fluenters, who are helping spread the word about the BB Parasite by participating in the Suck Your Own Ass Challenge. Just an I, Elena M, Jacob C, Damiel R, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, and T.J.M. the Nome Barbarian, a group of jam-loving birds that have taken over the apartment roof in NIAC's absence. It seems his greatest challenge is yet to come. Destiny Sea, trailer the cray-fay, Sergio Salazar Solomon, Sakurai Estes Aquani, Kelvin Noodles and Michael L. Trinnyvale scientists who are currently looking for a method to extract

BBs that doesn't involve beating the shit out of someone until they're below 50 HP. Currently, they've gotten down to 60 HP, but otherwise, no dice. Richard X Machina Traffs the Traveler, Jory S, and Ryan, a group of Crick Elves who were trying to enter the elemental chaos, but accidentally ended up in Trinnyvale. They're currently huffing chicken wine and watching friends reruns and have no immediate plans of returning home. Trimixi, Mike H. Nicholas C. Sam L. and Samuel B. A collection of Chromatic Worms. Unlike their poisonous purple cousin, these worms spend their day hollowing out the earth to make dope ass underground water slides.

Some of the slides do go directly to the periphera though, so be careful. Zolo Dolo, Austin MR, Gage M, Colton B, Curtis S, and Yens Christian T, the makers of Jam Junkpers, the first shoe designed to help you leap over slippery puddles of jam. The logo is a picture of Niaq in the Michael Jordan pose. Matthew E, Andrew B, Reese NS, Eric and Andrea B, Kaley E. And Jordan L. Jen's auto body shop. They tried to tell Jen's they couldn't turn a dodge into a Porsche. No matter how long they worked on it, but Jen's insists they keep trying. Matt M. Barnes and Ador, C.C. Lulu, Jared E. J. and Taleth X. A team of erotic archers

who roamed Trinneval inspiring some of the greatest art to ever grace our good sweet cube. Apparently the benefactor has a whole wing of just erotic archery art. Christopher B, Dana G, Joe McGee, Persephone, AidenrH and Austin C, Obsidian's Daycare nannies. Whenever we go long stretches without hearing from Obsidian, it is because he is a daycare. Shenuobi, Eric G, Aaron S, Lucas B, Luke H, and Timmy R, an anti-capitalist movement in Trinival, whose rallying cries, don't eat the baby! They've also all banished their parasites to a terrarium,

which they sling over their shoulder. Zach C, Devon W, Michelle O, Dan, and Caleb L, moon geologists who were destroyed to discover that the gods that created all the crystals they've been studying think they're stupid. Omri M. Maxwell C. Mike K. Steven C. and Nikki W. A group of people that are so cool they are the Katie in every friendship they have. Wow. Grace G. Quarantine, Shane B. Kevin M. Mateo, C. And Rull and Tiny, sentient mice who were also absorbed into Mercurios essence and are currently working to destroy him from the inside. Godspeed, Tiny Heroes.

Meribel, the Kitty-Marphing gnome. Angel B. Esme M. I am the Atlas, Michael C. and Nicholas P. Trinival's vending machine repair workers, aka the harbingers of the apocalypse, my God, what have you done? Robert F. Kristen P. Atticus C. Kazemir the all-knowing and meta-amps, sellers of off-brand babies that won't infect your soul but are high in high-fuctose corn syrup. Chris R. Michael K. M. Panama James, Eric McDee, Nathaniel P. Rebecca O. and Nick B. Katie's click of Parasite meanies. They have currently got a text thread going where they're talking

shit about obsidian's beautiful voice. Nick L. Jack L. Y. Greck 32, temporal, burly T. and Christian A. members of Jen's theater group that travels to schools all throughout Trinny Vale to give assemblies on how to deal with parasite bullying. Jay Dragonborn, Jonathan O. Michael M. The Red Rain, and Drew Nasty, the creators of the Jam Cam, a craze that is sweeping Trinavillion sports. Camera operators, operators find unsuspecting fans and douse them in Jam in front of the whole stadium. It has led to countless slip and fall lawsuits. KJ, Hordeofo, Dave H. and Feldonis, members of the Leant Fan Club, who were undoubtedly devastated when she didn't capitalize on Jens' pivotal cure wounds. Come on, Leant to show some hustle.

Grant, Adrian, the Halfling Bard, Eric B, John H, N, and Adam G, some of NIAC's other parasites. You thought the jam men had only one? He would never be that uncultured. N. Ork, Nick W. Ryan W. Axel A and Christian S, models from Jens' Elven Erotic Magazine, or was it Nijax? The lines are blurred, but one thing is for sure, the models are beautiful. David T. Catherine S. Shadow, Ben A. and Douglas A. Trinstagram, Fit Fluentcers, who tried some of Jens' vitamins before their workouts and are now suing him.

Wow, that bad. Nathan, Big Bad John, Brittany B, Emilio D, and Frankie Koala, a group of friends who also have cool money nicknames. These names are Mula, Do, Bucks, Loot, and Benjamin. Keith Kay, the undead incinerator, Cody B, Felix F, David Kay, Pipes H, and Richard J.M., Katie's other parasite friends. Each of them is more toxic than the last but they're just so cool You can't help but do their homework for them.

Aston S. Cody C. Fattie Daddy 187. Joe McCam. Christina B. Marlowe and Raphael O. at Norwalk and Zee's wedding party. This this rady bunch is already starting the-game to the wedding and it's still weeks away, the ceremony is for sure to be a shit show. Sir Cadvin, the San Dreyon, Chanel M, Hannah W, Alice, depressed demon hunter, Jonathan Debs, C, and Patrick B, makers of a competitive vending machine whose food does not poison you. Sadly, they are incredibly unpopular since they do not sell those delicious, overly-saggierating demonic babies. And that's it for this week. Thank you all so much for listening.

Thank you to all of our listeners and all of our Patreon subscribers. And of course our council elders. We will catch you guys next time. Bye, babies. Hoo! Ha ha! time. Bye, babies.

Who? Ha ha ha! That was a HATEGOM podcast.