Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 19: Parties & Primates (w/ Nathan Yaffe)

Episode Date: July 4, 2020

The Trinyvale Triplets and their new friend Wilton (played by Nathan Yaffe) head to the desert destination of Dagarast to celebrate the impending nuptials of two cherished allies. Jens fights for worker's rights, Onyx takes the cake, and Nyack makes a permanent impression as the hunt for the sacred relics begins!Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design & Engineering by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG) and Kei Matsuo (@Nightsharkss on Twitter).MUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford  "Symphony No. 5 in Cm, Op.67 - IV. Allegro" by Fulda Symphony Orchestra"Road to Silverado" by Daniel Ramos "The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Moonsick" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" - Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, the crickets are chirping, y'all! And they are welcoming me back to this wonderful world. A world full of gods that are old and gods that are new, as well as things that are borrowed and things that are blue. Oh! Loves in the air. It is a true matrimonial paradise. Ha, ha, ha!

Today's story begins one last time in the sunken realm of the periphera. Finally alone, after an onslaught of godly challengers, the Trinaville triplets set to work on their greatest challenge yet. Planning a wedding. Damn. While Onyx and her parasite KT finalize the invites, Jens and Nyak craft table settings and centerpieces.

When their tasks are complete, they open a portal using Nellar's dimensional door knob and head to the desert city of Daggerast. Ooh, a desert wedding? Ooh. Oh, it's a destination wedding, big time. Ah, can our heroes help fill Zee and Norwalk's wedding with critical bliss? Oh, only time will tell, and so,

without further ado, let's rejoin Retrieval Team 22 and begin chapter 19 of the Trinaville Adventure. Woo! Duh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, hello, friends, and welcome back to the table. I'm your dungeon master, aka dunkel, called Voltanner, and I am joined by

Jensland Dell wedding guest Delight not bringing his parasite Shit you took my rhyme scheme I Also also wearing white Tens is wearing white to the wedding. Okay. I'm gonna do mine but then I'm also gonna do a real quick parasite one, so I don't have to feel left out. Okay, Anix Lumiere, Mage Slayer, Nome Layer, Born in Accrator. But then my parasite one, real quick, just gonna try to come up with it.

Stop it up. Anix Lumiere, wielding the crystal crystals might to get the acceptance of her parasite. It was pretty okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. No, I, I definitely agree room for improvement. See, minus maybe. I don't know. Okay. Well, you honor me. Don't let her talk. Do you like that? She's a fucking bug. Anyways, I pick up her field hockey uniform from the dry cleaners. That's right. Then I boss bug. I run this town. And of course, tux so tight. I can't do it anymore. I can't. Tux so tight. He lost his parasite. Nayaq of the Rana 4. I thought it was good. How did you feel about it about that? Well, because you clearly stole it from me, that's why.

I didn't steal it from you. Oh, well, I've got my three triplets here, but exciting news. We're also joined by one more. We've got Nathan Yaffe here. Hi. Oh. Hi, Nathan. Hi, Nathan.

You don't know my character yet, so I don't have to do a rhyme for him. That's true. That's you This is how we show hospitality to our guests. We do not make them do a rhyme if they don't want to can you give us a sneak peek has your Character eaten about our finger BB. Oh, I'm sure No, I'm sure I'm sure that will be an issue. Can I call fireball on No, no, I'm sure that will be an issue. Can I call Fireball on Nathan's character? Oh, sorry. Just any character I see just a kid's to Snape. I'd like to stab the NPCs to see if any of them is the guest. Smart. Good way to go into a wedding.

That's so funny. The Brides family is very happy with you. That's great. Y'all, before we even get to the wedding, I think we even get to the wedding, I think we might need to do a quick recap. Are you ready? Let's do it. Fantastic. Here we go.

So, when last we met, U3 had just defeated Nalar, the God of time and tides, and were then given a golden egg and a new mission by a mysterious entity known as the Hidden God, aka the Little Crystal Friends.

After emerging from a crystal-induced trance, you were accosted by Mercurio Delurio, an old foe you thought was dead. You revealed that he wasn't actually Mercurio, but in fact, the aspect of coin, and started absorbing Nalara's godly power into his own body. You three began to fight him, but found his power overwhelming. After a brief skirmish, Nyak and Onyx's bodies were frozen by a mysterious power. It was then that Koyne revealed his true master plan. He had been using the BBs and his vending machine to infect people across Trinavale with

his essence, thus transforming them into power generators that he can later harvest. He used this power to capture and absorb Nados, then tricked the Trinavale triplets into defeating Nalar so that he could absorb him as well as Leont, who Nalar had recently defeated and stashed in a pocket dimension. During the battle, Koyne also managed to infect Jynins with a BB parasite, and soon all three of you were able to hear voices similar to Nyax. It was then that we met KT!

KUNI! And DJ! AKA DUMM JINS! Three parasitic familiars who are forever bonded to your souls. These parasites kept you frozen long enough for Coin to absorb the other two gods, then abscond in a vending machine teleporter. After you left, you three managed to remove the parasites via a combination of polymorphine, ass sucking, and surgically precise banishing smites.

Sounds about right. Ah, pretty on par for our triplets. While you recuperated, you received a call from Onyx's mom, Graffit, as well as the rest of the Golden-Ira Society. You filled her in on your hunt for the three relics needed to awaken the hidden god, a flames-blitten twain that burns twice as bright, a garland of stars that bestows graceful might, and a jeweled tinkers tool that knows wrong from right. Blavin then informed you that these relics could most likely be located in the three primal regions of Trinaville, the desert city of Daggerast, the high Elven courts of Ilavas and the clockwork capital of the

nomlands. You also learn that your friends Z and Norwalk, who are already in Daggerast, have decided to have their wedding early, and so after some deliberation you three decided to head there right away. And that is where we are now. Woohoo! Can I, can I real quick just to double check which of these miraculous items are we looking for in dagarast? You can infer from the correlation to flame that you're probably looking for Leant's relic, which would be in Daggerast. Okay, thank you. Daggerast is where the primal region,

the primal realm of Leant is. Okay. And we think the pinkers' tools would be with the... With the norms, probably. So, and you know that the elves were a race associated with Nadas, with the Monsages and whatnot. So you imagine that the garland of stars might be with the elves in Ilivas,

which is where Jens is from originally. Great. Cool. I probably have it somewhere in my old bedroom. Okay. Wow. Do you think Laksana still maintains a flat in Ilivas or do you think she sold it when she moved to the jungle?

There's still a house, my room is in office now, and it has a treadmill in it. But I think she's got some of my stuff in there somewhere. Yeah, so our next adventure will of course be in a Jindus childhood room. If we get to fight furniture again, I'm fucking that was got started. And you know, there's going to be twice as much porn there. That one he can't blame it on me. The worst part is that it's gone, which means she found it. Oh, no, that

or it's still there, but there are certain pages that have been dog-eared. So, yeah, we talked off Mike and decided that the wedding was the most pressing engagement and also the most fun. So we decided that's what we're going to do first. And so without further ado, are you ready to head to Daggerast? Absolutely. Yes. I'm so sorry, Katie.

Do you want to go traveling or anything like that? Oh my gosh, I love the travel. Okay, cool. Of course you do. I will buy her at first class playing ticket and myself coach. We earned that money. That's for us. To treat ourselves, Honnicks. I Don't want the parasites flying first class

Katie I'm gonna sit up front with your parasites DJ can sit the bag with you So wait you have this Dimensional door knob that could just take you there, but you're gonna fly in an airplane instead Katie would you rather use the dimensional door knob or do you want me to get you a first class plane take? I only go first class Okay, Katie Kati flies first class. So, you know, okay. So you use the dimensional doorknob to take you to an airport. And then you board the airplane, you and Kati are in first class. Uh, Jens, were you sitting? I mean, I'm in coach. Kati's

in first class. Oh, I mean, I'm in first class just as a form of protest knowing that they're gonna put their parasites in first class. So I'm very mad with like a blindfold on, like a sleep mask and one of those pillows around my neck and I just have my arms crossed sitting next to Katie trying to sleep. I volunteer as flight attendant so I can serve Katie and Kenny and Jen. This is a violation.

I am in coach, but I have an aisle seat so I can keep peeking ahead and trying to see a little bit of Katie shoulder. And as as a flight attendant, I'm giving on it's like a thumbs up. She's she's doing good. I'm living where I keep trying to use the first class bathroom being like oh sorry the other one is actually full so I kind of just thought the people who paid to be up here. How do you even know brother you were wearing an eye mask? I can hear her plotting coach footsteps. That is true I'm wearing very thick platform shoes. The

clunky footsteps of someone who sits in economy. So you all fly in various classes and with various occupations to the city of Daggerast. Eventually you land and you see it from the air. It is a beautiful port city nestled on the city of Daggerast. Eventually you land and you see it from the air it is a beautiful port city nestled on the coast of the harsh wind glades. Towering palms sway lazily above as the bright sun glisten sharply off the beaches blood red sand. You walk down the wide city streets and are greeted by orcs in brightly colored convertibles, dragonborns, sipping tropical cocktails, and dwarves in short shorts.

Ooh, awesome. All of which are some of the hottest people you've ever seen in your entire life. Dagarras is a destination, and this is a destination wedding and you have arrived. So, after doing some shopping for your wedding outfits, you meet up for a drink with Zian Norwalk to drop off the wedding supplies you made. I'm wearing white and a veil. I'm wearing a DJ Max ripoff of whatever brand Katie's wearing.

Oh wow, that looks cool, that looks nice. What is that? Yeah, no, it's actually the same company. It's also Ebercrombie. It's you know, I found it at a different store. Oh no, by the tech it's the same, right? So, let's see the same. It does not smell like Ebercrombie. It does not have that thick perfume stings.

Right, no, yeah, no. It does smell like a store that would have an aisle of olives and stuff. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, okay, yeah. I got it in the bathroom. Alex, you don't have to take this. Brother, I can get you a gown as well.

Pull the veil over your eyes at least. You're being anti-social. I don't want to be around any of you right now. Niaq, what are you wearing? Niaq put on a shirt for the first time, since you guys have known him. He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but it's unbuttoned, so it's open.

Woohoo! Now this I like! Oh! But also a tie. he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but it's unbuttoned, so it's open. Ooh. Now this I like, oh. But also a tie. Yeah, but it's un-tied. I have a written unbuttoned shirt. Oh, my sweeties, you look so great. I should mention the wedding isn't until tomorrow, but like if you can wear this, the rehearsal dinner,

this looks fantastic as well, but like is this what you're wearing tonight or tomorrow, what's the deal? I'm gonna wear white to both. Wow, okay. That's okay. Is there a rehearsal dinner that we are invited to? Oh, yes, of course.

I mean, you're honored guest. If it wasn't for you three, Norwalk and I would have never met. And honestly, if it wasn't for you all, Norwalk would be dead. Yeah. Isn't that right, hun? That's, hey, that's true. And you made the invitations. They look real nice.

So, uh, thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'm so glad that you appreciate that. Yeah. Have they been distributed and everything? Oh, you know what? We're going to take care of that. We'll go over to the venue.

You guys get settled though. But before you go, we have one question for you. If that's all right. Absolutely. Sure. So, you go, we have one question for you if that's all right. Absolutely. Sure. So, you know, as we mentioned, it's all thanks to you three that we first got together and... You're welcome.

We really want you to be a part of our special day. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is, Nyak, Onyx, would you be our best man in made of honor? Yes. What wait, I'm sorry, I don't know if you were asked. This is, I mean, apps, I'm strange. I just, I honestly, I would if yes, I most absolutely will. Oh, that's absolutely.

I'm so glad to hear that. I, this means everything to me. Onyx, you're just, you're, absolutely. Absolutely. I'm so glad to hear that. This means everything to me. Alex, you're just such a special person, and I want to mean that for me. This means the little moon to me. You honor me as well, and I humbly accept. Thank you. And it honestly makes sense as both of your best friends that I wouldn't be on either

team, and instead would just give my own speech and do a dance. Yeah, I was actually going to suggest what if Jen's red a Bible pass? Jen, don't worry. We didn't forget about you, sweetie. We want you to do something. I didn't think you did. You did.

You did. You did. You did. You did. You drink all over the floor. I didn't spill it. The glass of shatters. I didn't spill it. The glass is shattered. It's just all gone.

You got some red wine on your gown. And your hair in his white jumpsuit. What? Yeah, you tried to drink the red wine through the veil. No. No. You just got like a weird lip wine stain on your veil. Yeah.

That's a vampire, man. Good one, Norwalk. Oh, it's good to hear you again. Hey You're so funny babe. It's a my leg, but just shaking with fury. This is hilarious friends hanging out He said he didn't forget about me. What were you gonna say though? We want you to do an interpretive dance to start the ceremony. Yes. Of course you do. How would you not? Yes? Thank you humble, the humble brother. I am Of course they would weird that he didn't come up first, but of course I you know what? I'm sorry. I should have known to bring that up with you first

It's all of our special days. Let's just remember that Some more than others, but yes, it's a special day for all You see a waiter starts to refill jins is sangria and Z is no, no, no, no, no, no, no Onix takes a little pair of scissors and snips off the little you know those little things that brides wear on their thigh scissors and snips off the little, you know those little things that brides wear on their thigh? The garter? The garter belt that Jens is wearing.

Snip, Jens is garter. Wait, you're making a garter out of my clothes? Or are you here? No, I'm taking because you're trying to wear everything a bride is wearing. You're taking my garter. Okay, yeah, well that's that's so fantastic I'm so thrilled that you're all gonna be a part of the wedding me and no walk obviously are just so excited so happy

We can't wait you know to celebrate just to have this over with so we can you know get back to doing what we do best Even in the stress of wedding. It's still going strong. We fuck all the time. Beautiful. We fuck all the time. Okay. Yeah. It's kind of an unspoken thing at weddings, but if we want to make it a spoken thing, absolutely. Whether you hear my vowels, all right. I can't wait. There's a dragonborn couple walking down the street and you just see Z stands up and goes we fuck okay? Spawn You see one of them's like whoa and the other one's like hell yeah, you fuck hell yeah Norwalk high fives them

Let me get some of that grilla baby. Oh, right Let me get some of that grilla baby. Oh right. Yeah, so then you briefly party with these two dragonborns. And then Zee and Norwalk say that they've got some stuff to take care of before the wedding, but they say they'll see you tonight at the rehearsal dinner. So yeah, if there's anything else you want to do in town before you head to your hotel Just let me know and otherwise we'll go right to the rehearsal dinner If anyone else think it was rude that they asked you before they asked me about the dance brother

They saved the best for last. I thought that was very fitting. You're right. You're right. What was I thinking? Then as triplets who share one Heart and one frame mine and one brain. One mind. And one brain. I feel your pain and it worries me for you. I am so sorry that you felt left out in that moment. Oh my god. Do you like me as much as you like Katie? I look to Katie to see what I share spawned.

Katie just smiles and shakes her head no. Unfortunately no. No. No. No. No. No. Katie just smiles and shakes her head no. Unfortunately no. Jen steals a picture of saying, yeah, from the restaurant. And goes to his room. Cool. So you all head back to your hotel to freshen up. Jen, you do your best to get your wine stains out of your wedding veil, which you're wearing. Well, I change into my second white wedding jumper.

That's an outfit change. One thing I would like to do, and I want to do this in a way, because, you know, I still wore a lock, you only have three spells, but you have, you know, you regain spells after short rest. Yeah. I wanted to make something to help for the rehearsal dinner tonight. Oh. And it's a spell, but I want to make sure I have a short rest in between when I make it.

You will, yeah. Cool. I wanted to cast flock of familiars and make five crabsters to sort of help with the catering or anything like that Okay, all right, so let's say that you Jins and Nyak you head back to the hotel, but on it you tag along with you in or walk to the venue um and you produce these five Just pure white alabaster crabsters.

Hey, wow. Oh my gosh, look at them. They're so cute. That's really nice. Yeah, I just want to try to help this go off without a hitch, you know. I'm so touched getting hitched without a hitch. Oh, Norrague is so good to have you back. Also, I do feel as though we should mention, remember when you tried to kill Mercurio?

Oh, yeah, how'd that go? Oh, so, okay, he came back. He's actually the aspect of coin. So he's like a real bad guy, so it's awesome that you... Yeah, yeah, your mom caught me up on all that. Right, okay, good, good. You know, that's actually one of the reasons we decided to have the wedding now.

Seeing as there's a chance coin could enslave the entire world with his babies. Kind of a bummer, but I'm trying not to think about it. It's your weekend, babe, all right? So don't let anything get you down. Thanks, honey. Hey, you know what, she calls to one of the crafters. Can you fetch us some Pina coladas maybe? Let's get this party started a little early.

You see the little crafters Shimme to the side into a curtain and then they shimme back out carrying Pina coladas on their head. Okay. This is exactly why I perform this spell. They do snip their claws looking for a tip. I give them $100. They look really excited. They immediately snap it in the nose. Oh, well, that's too bad.

I throw them up, laden them. Thank you. You see, they shimmy off to go help the rest of the caterers get ready. And then was there anything else you wanted to do? That was all. I just wanted to make sure to provide that support for the rehearsal dinner. Awesome. Z and Norwalk look very grateful for the extra help.

They thank you deeply and say they'll see you tonight. I would also like to get a tattoo on my way back to the hotel. Okay. I think I'm walking back with Niaq. What are you doing? I need to get Norwalk and Z wedding gift and I'm going to paint something on my body for them. Permanently. This is the first time I've ever understood anything you body for them. That's permanently.

This is the first time I've ever understood anything you've ever said that actually makes a lot of sense. That you would give something to somebody else by really giving it to yourself because your joy is a gift. Yes. I understand what you're doing. Do you want to tattoo as well? Absolutely not, but I'll come watch you get one.

Okay. What do you get tattooed on your body? It's Norwalk and Z for ever across my chest. And ever across my back, forever and ever across my back. Niaq, for getting that tattoo, I think you're definitely going to ingratiate yourself to some of the people at the wedding. I'm gonna let you roll a D4 of blessing dice. Next time you make a performance or persuasion roll. Wow. Yeah.

It really was a gift for myself after all. I think. Jins, is there anything you wanna do before you head back? I think I'm just publicly drinking St.Grea while watching, um, Mayak get a tattoo. She's like, we're on the boardwalk. Yeah.

Ha, ha, ha. Oh, fantastic. So you all take care of these little last minute tasks. Um, and then after a while, it's time to head to the rehearsal dinner, uh, which is actually being held in the same location as the wedding venue, Onyx, you briefly saw it. It is the Leont Colosseum. It is this beautiful, ancient stone structure lit by torch light.

As you enter, you see a large blood-red tent has been set up in the center of the arena. On the left side, under the night sky, you see a small space that's empty, safe for a large, copper trophy cup on a raised platform. And on the right side, near the back of the tent, you see the wedding staff setting up a dance floor and a bandstand as well as a novelty photo booth. Oh yeah. So you make your way into the tent and you sit down for the meal.

It's a beautiful blend of daigarast and rana for cuisines, including a lovely banana leaf salad, which Niaq, if you manage to choke down the salad, I will say that you can raise your cons score because if you'll recall, we've been doing some con death saves for you and you got one more coming up right now. That's right. Okay.

That's a six. That is your first fail. Okay. The salad does not agree with you. You find the trailer bathroom, which has been driven into the Coliseum. It's pretty nice, but it is still a trailer, and you just hold up in there for the first half of the rehearsal dinner. I think I'm shouting to Nayak through the door. Nayak, this is just, normally there's not a bug in your stomach that eats all of the food that you've eaten.

So what you're doing right now is digesting. So you just need to just keep- I'm getting used to- Need to keep eating food. Do you want me to rub your stomach? Do you want me to rub your stomach? Do you want me to rub your tummy? Quiet Kenny, you're not my friend anymore.

Yes! Yes! Thank God! Naya, what if you ask Kenny to sort of pre-digest the food for you since that's what you are used to? What? Kenny, go eat it and then kiss it into your mouth. Exactly, you're not my friend unless you pre-digest some of this food. Oh my God. Let me show you food.

Let me show you food like a hungry cat. Why are our bugs at the rehearsal dinner? This is for the closest friends. Now your plus one's obviously. Mine is not mine isn't the parking lot. Actually, yeah, Jins, do you try and leave it in the parking lot? Yes. When you do that, you feel an intense pain the further away from it you get. Since these parasites are part of your soul, it's basically his dark material rules, the further you get away from your Damon, more it's gonna hurt you unless you Train every day to distance yourself from it. Come on brother. What the fuck? DJ just wants to come in and eat some charcootery. What the fuck? He just wants sliced meat come give me Come pick me up

Chins what the fuck he if he gives he gives you like how can I give in now? I just have to we both have to have a bad time You know this is how he'll be cool once he gets in here He's gonna enjoy pastoral derv's and I think he'll calm down DJ breaks the window on a car And gets in and starts honking the horn Jens DJ just get in here and don't talk to me. I'm fucking fine. I look at Katie and I say you see I guess we just have to be really close and I and I say, you see, I guess we just have to be really close and I'm hungry. Can you go give me like three takaries?

Okay, I'll make it for him and overachiever. Cool, so you all get a little tipsy, you have some dinner. While you're eating, you look around the room and you notice that most of the other people at this dinner are family, safe for you. But you do notice one person that doesn't look familiar. There's this strangely dressed gorilla that's actually seated on the other side of the table from you.

He's been pretty silent all night. But as the night goes on, you see that Brewster, who is a Norwalk's dad, gets up to make a little speech. And as Brewster gets up, you see this strangely-dressed gorilla kind of perks up, almost as if he's waiting for his moment to talk. You kind of see this happen, but before you can do anything about it, all eyes are on Brewster and Brewster starts speaking. Hey, hey everybody!

Just wanted to say, we're Brewster and this is of course my wife Meridan. Hey, how's it going? I'm Meridan. We're Norwalks parents. I love you, mom and dad. Hey, oh, we love you honey. Oh, yeah Hey, think fast. Oh, you see Meridan. There's a barrel of wine at Norwalk. I Let it hit me on the chest and I Gems gets drenched in red wine. Oh, my God. At this point, I mean, you got a tie to the thing. You know what? Hey, it's going to be a messy wedding, you know, bring a poncho. Am I right? Nice throw, honey? Anyway, we just want to thank you all so much for coming out.

But you know what, we honestly, we also need to thank the entire catering staff for those of you who don't know. Zogaff and Norwalk actually rescued them from this nasty underground cult a few days ago. And as a way of thanking them, they all volunteered to help cater the wedding to show their gratitude. So let's all give them a round of thanking them, they all volunteer to help cater the wedding to show their gratitude

So let's all give them a round of applause Okay Jens looks so suspiciously as he can Go ahead, it's just like, oh my god Oh wow, it seems like a maybe too soon to start working suddenly It seems like a lot of drama to unpack It's like clapping with two swords in his hand You see all the catering staff like waves politely

DJ DJ go investigate the cultists what what a fucking miss the just speeches? Yeah, go talk to them DJ. I was gonna say something you said you were gonna be cool if you came in All right fine fuck Okay, you said you were gonna be cool if you came in All right fine fuck Okay, you see you see DJ Kind of slinks out we didn't actually Describe what the parasites look like I kind of picture them as like gooey little bugs, okay Just like a cross between like a squid and a crab A squidster. Yeah a squidster if you will

uh... actually yet you know what you see dj disguises himself as a silver crabster and skitters into the back to kind of go investigate uh... and then you see uh... meridine uh... takes over the mike from bruise their a might turn on and speaking of gratitude but we'd also really like to think the government of Dagger asked for letting us have the wedding in Leont, Coliseum, which, according to legend,

is where Leont created the first orcs. That's pretty cool. It's an incredible venue, made even better by the fact that that is free. So let's all raise a glass to the happy couple. Hey, here, here, here. Hey, here, here. Hey. So everybody, raises their glass, has a cheer.

You see that Meredith holds out the mic and says, now if anybody else would like to say a few words, feel free. Ooh, ooh, ooh, and as soon as she says that, ooh, Jen starts to stand, but sits back down. As soon as she says that, you see the gorilla that's been sitting patiently at your table, bolts up and just runs right to the front of the room. So fast. Nathan,

thank you very much for your patience. Why don't you introduce your character? Uh, hi everyone. Uh, for anyone who doesn't know me, my name is Wilton, but you can call me the party ape. Jen's laughs too loud. That's right. This guy gets it. This guy over here gets it. I just want to say, you know, it's really inspiring to see Zee and Norwalk getting together the way they did. It just goes to show, you know, it's never too late to follow your own dreams. I spent most of my youth as a bouncer, as hired muscle, but tonight, Norwalk, friend of mine,

we go way back, right buddy? Oh yeah, baby. Yeah, we go, he doing me a favor, letting me. Love you, Will D. Let me be the party, the life of the party it's always been my dream to be an event planner slash master ceremonies so make sure you use the hashtag party-ape wedding when posting about the wedding okay so the hashtag is sorry to be clear the hashtag is about you what Use the use the hashtag party ape wedding

Whenever you post any pick you'd be free feel free to use the the fun picture booth over there and post any pictures hashtag party if you if you want I've got I've got business cards for the party ape. This is really sort of put all my eggs in this basket This really has to go well for me. So, have a good time. And thanks again. Congratulations to the happy couple. Okay. Yeah, party ape. Well, that was incredibly self-promotional. I think you would like this, Jen. It's just clapping, it's crying.

That was beautiful. That was a beautiful speech. Usually weddings, usually weddings don't get me, but that was beautiful. KT Wispers in your ear. I like him. Oh, no, I like him too. I definitely am like, okay, we've-

Hands off, girl, he's mine. Oh, yeah, of course not. Oh, that's true. That's absolutely true. Anyways, I'm going to go get you more deckeries. Okay yes please. Long Island I see. Okay yeah you're so tiny and yet you can drink so much alcohol it's confusing. Just remember to take it easy. Don't tell me what to do. I'm gonna walk away from the parasites and go up to Wilton. It wasn't? Yeah, Wilton.

Yeah. Yeah, I think we'll walk up to Wilton and go as a fellow performer who senses profound sadness underneath it all. I really identified with your speech back there. That was beautiful. Hey, man, that means a lot. I really appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah yeah a lot riding on tonight so I just hope everyone has a good time. What do you mean exactly? A lot riding on this. I mean I this is my first gig. Okay I would

be completely honest with you this is my first gig doing this. It's a pretty big high profile venue gig doing this. It's a pretty big high profile venue, literally where a god created an entire race of creatures. Yeah, they're like your friends, right? So it's not like they're going to give you a better view. No, I hope not. Yeah. Yeah. Are you worried at all about the, there's apparently some gold tests that are working. What? Did you hear that part of this speech before? I've got a giant clipboard just um, wrapped to my arm and I just look at it and I'm just like rifling through the cultists cultists. Oh, the caterers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They saved them. They're a former former cultists. Now they're caterers. We got them a great rate on on those guys. Coltis, now they're caterers. We got them a great rate on those guys.

Yeah, it sounds like you guys saved a lot of money on this one, because like the caterers were rescued, you have the venue for free, and I can't imagine they're paying you very much. It's your first gig, it's promotion. Yeah, it's promotion. Yeah, promotion. They told me that some really popular

trinstagrammers were going to be here. So I really hope they use the hashtag. I was going to say that I actually have quite a bit of a trinstagram empire. And so I will be using your hashtag and you know I promise even if it goes to shit I can still make it look good. That really means a lot. I only just met you and I feel a profound connection here. Onyx speaking of that, let's go ahead and do a social sorcerer role for your crabsters stunt from around. Oh right. With my rock charisma that is a 19. 19. On my picture of this beautiful venue that honestly you're doing such a good job. Oh my gosh. Oh, thank you so much Uh, do you hashtag it with party eight the party eight beautiful

hashtag party eight this wedding is going viral and we're not talking about the three parasites that we brought What we're not thank we just freaking out in the car. He broke a window in the parking lot and oh At a certain point, there's going to be an investigation. And it's going to come back to me. If it's just the one. DJ Vandalized a car. Yeah, actually speaking of which there is a valet standout there, but no valet.

So they saved on that too. There was a guy freaking out in the parking lot. There was no security. I should probably check on that. Now it's fine. I'm going to do that. Onex, how much did you get paid for your wedding invitation? Oh, this was an act of love.

I know you got seven years, remember? Oh, that's true. I got seven years. That sounds fair. So actually, you know, from entrepreneur to entrepreneur, you should absolutely have someone in your court demanding you get seven beers for this. Okay, yeah, I'll be sure to do that. I'm sure I can find a good, tactful time to ask for that. If you want, I can lend my lawyer and I jostle Katie on the bin doll.

Incredibly persuasive. Katie is asleep in a peanut collada glass. Damn, Katie, they haven't even done the vows yet. Katie is a fucking mess. Can we all admit that Katie's a mess? Who's having a great time? I'm having a great time. Hashtag party. I'm having a great time.

She remembers the hashtag at least. Oh, wait, I recognize her from Instagram. Is that Katie? Yeah, yeah, yes, oh my I'm Katie travels a little Oh my god damn bug. She's a little goddamn bug. You got Jenslandell official here. That's Katie Not Jenslandell for comedy. That's a pretty travels any hotel she goes to in Bali, she stays for a while. Because she's a goddamn bug who lives in people's stomachs. That's true. Yeah, that is true. I don't pay, I just scoot under the door.

I'm in a role to see what you're posted. Ooh, oh great. You got another fan shield. That's a plus two to your AC on the next time you're hit. Oh! There you go. Yeah, you see a spectral fan appears. Wow, I'm at the wedding event of the season.

This is so cool. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know, it's really good. It's really good. Hashtag party, apes. Yeah, hashtag party. It seems like you've got a lot going on. Do you want me to just hide in a terrarium

until you need me? Absolutely. That would be good. Okay, bye. We did accidentally bring a plus for it with scene. Yeah, I was gonna say I've gotta I've gotta add them to the I've just like flipping through my clipboard Yeah, I gotta add all these people to lit you keep them in terrariums though. I think that's okay I can just write down terrarium. We keep them in terrariums, but they do all require vegetarian meals. Okay This episode of NAD pod has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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So you spend the night catching up with Wilton, your new friend, a slash business partner, I guess. Eventually, they kick you out of the rehearsal dinner space so that they can get set up for the wedding tomorrow, so you all kind of stumble back to the hotel. Once you get back to the hotel, you do see that DJ is waiting there for you. What's up? Hey, I got kicked out for vaping. What? You're fucking loser, man.

What did you find out? I started vaping, it sounds cool. What? Don't look up to DJ too. Oh, Wilton, this is my fucking bug. What's up? His name's DJ, He's not a real DJ. He just sucks Hey man, you a party promoter. Uh, yeah aspiring aspiring party promoter. Yeah, what's up? Can you give me bottles dude? I need bottles. Uh, is he with you? He's with you. Well, and you don't have to do anything

Yeah, I get you bottles dude. For sure. He got you got you got you out Yeah, anger management issue. He freaked out. He's he has rage. No, he got to keep it out. He has an anger management issue. I think he has rage. He freaked out in the parking lot. He's the one who freaked out. He's your ungunned barge. I only freaked out because Jess was being super unfair. He's freaking out right now. Seems like he's freaking out.

Okay, okay, I can, I know how to handle this. I know how to handle this. And I just, just like holding in my hand, like you're gonna be cool. Wow, this, I'm cool, I'm chill. You're gonna be cool, I'm cool, I'm good. Okay, being a bouncer is in your blood. Wow.

Can I take a tiny gravity blanket to try to relieve his anxiety? Listen, DJ, did you find out anything about their caterers? Did you just vape and get kicked out All right I was sharing the vape with some of the caterers obviously and I found out That they were in fact rescued from a cult it was a cult from some like orkish warlord called the blood baron Okay, he had him underground in some cave and then Zian Norewalk tracked him down

and they found all these people just kind of like huddled around just like zonked out. They say they don't remember much else. Fuck. Okay. I think you guys like that. I think it seems normal though, right? Seems fine. You just you just vaped with these people, DJ? Yeah. That's some really heavy vape conversation. They seem to, I mean, they seem like glad that they've been rescued, because they were just being like held underground in a cave, and that sucks.

Why are you being so judgmental, dude? All right, DJ, this is the one time you're right. I'm sorry to the people who are unconscious in the cave. I'm sure they're very nice people unconscious in the cave. I'm sure they're very nice people and aren't going to be with us to get stuff. That's growth man. That's growth. Okay. Does anyone have the consideration that, you know, I personally, I have all my spells. It doesn't even have the consideration that we could go find these caterers and if they have parasites and then we could banish that?

Or if we could just kind of try to suss out if they have any sort of spell on them, like what if we met them and I just cast this spell magic on them. At the very least we should ask them to unionize and try to get themselves paid seven beers for their service. Everyone should be paid seven beers. Seven beers is actually probably steep, you know, it's a difference between like making the invitation, planning the wedding, you know, it's sort of like how much time do you spend on it? So they might be more of a six-beer sort of job. I think everyone should get beers. I think you guys are right on with that. I think we don't want to, the only thing about going to the K-durs tonight is we don't

want to put Wilton in a weird position where we get to a fight with these K-durs because as we all know, Wilton has a lot riding on this. I have a lot riding on this guy. Hashtag Party 8. The K-durs were mentioning that they were getting minimum beers, which is four beers. That's it? So like, yeah, just four beers. They should be getting six, I really think be enough to get wasted certainly

Yeah, like minimum beers in Vainel are six beers, but in Daegaross. It's four beers. It's fucked up This is like 11 calories and she barely did anything I attack not I Posted a sunset Okay, that's actually awesome. This is an unintelligible caption. You see, the caption on the Instagram, it just has nothing to do with anything. It's like maybe poetry. It's three paragraphs long.

This is going to hurt you, Will. Three paragraphs long describing a memory that we have no context for. You hashtag the hell out of this thing too. Her caption is some sunsets are other people's to brambles. It's so profound. I know, I agree. I passed out what typing this is.

Wilden, what did give you ease if we tried to sort of go to them? I'm not talking about attacking them, like maybe maybe we just spell cast a spell magic on a couple or something like that. Listen, honestly, I'm in way over my head. I didn't even think there was anything to worry about with the caters, but the fact that they're only being paid for beers instead of the standard six really has me worried. I don't want them to, you know, have bad. The cult thing I don cold thing I'm not worried about, but the four beers there really got me, got me concerned. So yeah, maybe we should, we should go talk to them.

Cool, you're gonna try and sneak back to the venue and see if you can like corner a couple of them? I think so. Are we sneaking or do we just want to walk back? I think we probably sneak. Let's see, yeah, why don't we sneak and see if we can catch them doing anything weird. Great. Cool, so you're gonna walk back to the venue. Are you going like in the main entrance again or are you going to try and sneak around to like the service entrance?

DJ, where did you get kicked out? Over there by the dumpsters. Can I follow the peach apple scent of his base? Yeah, you do that. You do see that the majority of the catering staff has already finished up. It's pretty late at night already. But you do see a couple of them taking out the trash

and getting everything locked up for the night over by the dumpster. And they are, they are vaping. Um, okay, shall we try to get them to unionize to get beers? In the meantime, we'll suss them out. Wilton, maybe this would be a great opportunity for you to say, hey, I'm the wedding planner and in doing so we can sort of observe them and see if we sense any other Presence controlling that I love that. I love that idea. Hey guys. Okay. What's up?

Oh, hey, where are you? It's me Wilton the party eight by the wedding planner. I think I Guess I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself to you guys before, but hi. Just- Can I minor illusion confidence on Will. Can I just say the fact that you guys are meeting for the first time the day before the wedding is a real issue? What?

What are you talking about? Are you on staff or do you know someone? I'm worried. This is a you keep saying that. You guys want some beads? Some beads? You guys want some or large novelty sunglasses? I mean yeah. I hand out some beads and large novelty sunglasses to the caterers. Oh cool. Oh, which these were dress code, huh? So what's up, man? You know, I just, you want a beer, I have four.

What? Do you want a beer, I have four? Oh, yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you guys about that. I was thinking, you know, maybe you guys deserve more than four beers for all your hard work. Shit. You're right. You know what? I've been reading up on that.

I'm like in in Vainelar, in Vainadoss, and other like bigger metropolitan areas. Yeah, people get way more beers for their service. We only get like four here. That's fucked up. There's obviously an argument to be made for like a universal beer income. I think that's true. I think that's very true. I've been reading about that too. Yeah, like a UBI. I think every kid should be able to get a beer whatever they want. You're here, brother. Okay, while they're talking, can I do some sort of insight check to see like if I think like,

you know, because essentially these were asleep in a cave I want to try and suss out if I feel like there is a spell planted in them that might get activated. Okay yeah do you have something that could test for that? I mean the only thing I would have would be like insight or arcana which are both pretty but oh investigation maybe do um insight insight okay, I Don't have this well, but I'll try it. Can I help? Yes, please do That's an ad to Get it. Thank you for the help. Naya. I gotta be honest the first one was a

Onyx Fuck within at 28 That was a nine. Oh. Oh. Oh. Onyx. Fuck, within at 20. His boys got BBs in him. Oh. Oh. Hey, got BBs. What are you looking at?

What are you looking at? Nothing. Have you ever considered sucking your own eyes? Oh. Whoa. What? I hadn't considered it. I thought we were talking about unionization. This took a turn. That is not appropriate for this union meeting. I'm so sorry. I spoke out of turn. Wilton is in charge here. I'm so sorry. Yeah, what are we? We're talking about.

Point of order. Why are we? You guys didn't. Sorry. Sorry. Just say it, guys. Hey, you guys hadn't mentioned anything about sucking assholes These people have eaten bebe's and the only you have to suck them out of your own ass or there's we could also turn one into a hamster What this is how Katie was made You're making no zero sense. Okay, so you know Butterfinger BBs, right? Wilton? Uh, who doesn't? They're delicious.

So they're actually evil and they can be used to control people. Oh, no. So the fact that butter finger BBs reside in these creatures makes them perhaps a liability. Um, hey, um, I have a little plan here if you all would be okay to go along with this. I have a plan as well. So let's talk. Okay, let's have a plan on. Okay, just like, we're just gonna go over here and talk. All right, we're gonna keep tossing trash into this dumpster, but as soon as we're done with that, we're gonna get to the bottom of whatever the hell

y'all are talking about. Great, great. We absolutely, you know what, please, we've made it terrible for our team, right? For the union. No one's gonna be sucking any ass. You know what, please, we've made it terrible for Super. For the union. No one's going to be sucking any ass. We got a draft of costume to show you that much. It's going to be very light on the ass sucking.

Okay, yes, Jen. I was going to say I have a spell that can be activated, that can be triggered if basically I can assign a trigger to it and I can put it in an item. So if we tell them that they can have seven beers, if they wear like a certain brooch or something like that, I can create that in a minute and if Wilton gives it to them, they can wear it.

What spell would you put into it? I would like it to be a cool thing that... You don't want to say right? That blows up, I don't know where you are. Okay, my suggestion was going to be, obviously I only have three spells, but I did take dispel magic, and I was curious if maybe dispel magic

would purge the babies. So we could try to purge three of their babies. I'm gonna say, if you roll this and you roll poorly on it, it will alert them to what's going on and the babies will trigger and you'll get into a fight. So that is the risk that you run here. Okay. What are all of your thoughts?

I have a plan as well. Yes, what are all of your thoughts? I have a plan as well. Yes, no. Since this is a plan off, I was going to go back into town and get a suck your own ass tattoo. But I feel like it might be counterproductive since we're here now. And I just wanted to share that I had a plan. But, yeah. I mean, my plan is also very limited and would require to work with someone else's plan because it only deals with three people.

Okay. But it also sounds volatile. Would you all be okay with the plan of giving them a beer ticket brooch that could then maybe help us if they attack us later? Yes. Absolutely. I've said it before, I think there need to be more broaches and de-induced. I actually said it this weekend.

Right. Are you giving them like a democratic socialist beer broach? It's like, yeah, stand up for your caterers rights. We deserve seven beers. And a little enamel pin that has a seven on it. It's a little enamel pin that has a seven on it. It's a little enamel pin that has a seven on it. And I think we can tell them that with Wilton's blessing,

they can get open bar with it or something or they can redeem their seven beers at the bar. I love this. So Wilton, you're gonna give this brooch to Grush is the name of this orcish caterer? Okay. Hey man, so... What's up?

Everything we were talking about before about the beers. I'm right there with you and just as sort of a sign of solidarity, I wanted to give you this. Whoa! Yeah, you wear that and it's good for as many beers as you want at the bar tomorrow at the wedding. This is what we've been fighting for for the past 10 minutes. That's right.

This is our mission and our plight. Thank you, brother. Absolutely. Bring it in. Bring it in. Bring it in. They do like a big bear hug together He puts on the brooch and finishes up with the garbage and heads out

So yeah, you have kind of implanted this up spell on Grush the caterer so tomorrow if something goes down. Yep. He's out of the fight great Well, very cool. Onyx did you want to train like pull someone away and maybe like I kind of wanted to just out of the fight. Great. Well, very cool. Uh, Onyx, did you want to train like, pull someone away and maybe like, I kind of wanted to just out of curiosity, but if other people, just because it seems like there's a lot of caterers, so do have less of them could be good, but I also don't want to do it if other people. I can't, I can't do the spell magic.

I have three spells, right? Right. So tonight, I can guess the spell magic tomorrow Tomorrow I cannot, without using my precious spells, I need for battle. It's up to you. You see the caterers are finishing up. So if you're going to do this, you should do it quick. I turned a gents to see what he thinks.

You want me to just not do it? Me? Why me? Somebody else vote. I say go. I actually, I have a, you're if you're if you're ever unsure of a course of action, I actually have something that can help with that. I get confused. Oh God. Please tell me you don't have a psychic. That is such a down on your luck

kind of thing. You have a psychic. Well, it's kind of like a spirit, buddy. Okay. It's a cycle. Well, I'm just, you know, I consult with the the spirits of partiers past. Okay, that's much better than a psychic that you face time. No, I don't face time. It's so so mechanically hiding his phone as he speaks. As a path of the ancestral guardian barbarian, I have the ability to once a day cast the spell augury. If I so choose, which basically lets me summon a spirit friend and ask them if a course of action that we're going to take within the next 30 minutes will result in good or bad. Wow. 30 minutes will result in good or bad. Wow. Wilton, you undersold yourself.

You have so much to be proud of. This is impressive. Yeah, this isn't a psychic. This is a life coach. Yeah. You should be on Trinstagram. You know what? I've been, I'm really hoping this will be my break.

I am the party ape on Trinstagram. I don't have a ton of followers yet, but I'm hoping once this will be my break. I am the party ape on on Instagram. I don't have a ton of followers yet, but I'm hoping once the hashtags start going, you know, we're really gonna, really gonna make it big, make it big time on there. You will, I believe in you. So yeah, I'm gonna cast Augery using my consult the spirit's ability

and basically the DM chooses from the following. I think the way it looks is like a spirit of a like a ghost party gorilla shows up. And I asked, I tell him the plan. And he cryptically tells me either it's going to be good results, bad results, some good, some bad or nothing. And it's the DM's choice. Okay, cool. So you invoke this ancestral partied gorilla. You see, he appears before you all. Greetings.

I'm Windsor. The first ape to boogie. How did you, how did you die, Windsor? It's actually super important to ask those fat and I act it's like so no no no madam. It's okay. Okay. I died on the toilet Oh, I see your pants are still down In some days of here. That's how I will go as well Yes, my heart exploded. I'm so sorry.

I had a bit too much angel dust. Oh, I was feeling that way today when I had too much banana leaf. Let us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, salad. My man, I'm right there with you. What is it you need of me, O'Party Ape? Hey, Windsor. So my new friends were trying to, first of all,

let me just say, party planning is a lot more such refuge involved in it than I was expecting, but I'm indeed glad I met these folks. They want to try and I guess corner one of the caterers and cast some spells on them and I wanted to know if you thought that'd be a good idea or not. Would that be chill? Yeah, would that be chill or not chill to do? Hmm chill or ill Chill or ill? Chill or ill? Or a combination thereof.

If you suspect the will is ill, then your move is quite chill. Oh, no, it's a riddle. So wise. Alright, let's go kick one of these kidder's asses. Again, Jens, we are casting one spell on this person. So are you looking to party what? What's good? What are we doing here? Are you hanging out now?

Yeah, are we hanging out? What's good? It's super late here. I think we were just gonna cast the spell and then crash. So I don't know how to head out. Yeah. We're just daggers. Do we endaggers?

I know a guy. I know a guy who can stop the end of the watch. I know we're gonna watch. A few hours. We have a wedding tomorrow. So I think we're gonna get some of the easy. Oh, wedding. Oh well, we're already, We already brought like five extra people

I can score some primo kush for this wedding just let me know friends Well, okay, you see he explodes into a magical puff of dust Wow, okay cool see he explodes into a magical puff of dust. Wow. Okay. Cool. It's something. Windsor does know where to get the most primo cushion, no matter where you are. That's typically what I use him for. Just call my name. All right. Let's not go for the one that has the pin.

Okay. Exactly. Another one. Yeah. Cool. We find another one who's maybe by their self, and I would like to just cast a spell magic. Let me see if there is range because it might be fun to try to cast it around a corner.

Here's what I'm gonna say happens. You see all of these remaining caterers split up and you see the last one, you tail the last one, you walks around front to the parking lot and sees his car and goes oh DJ fucking get out of here man I'm not apologizing. I did what was right. You should it. Well, it wasn't right But he shouldn't apologize. We can't blow our cover. DJ, fuck off. Just fuck off, DJ.

Thank you. Jens agrees with me. No, I don't agree with him. Hiding from 120 feet away, I'd like to try to cast this spell magic on this poor soul who DJ absolutely destroyed their windshield. Awesome. Okay, yeah, go ahead and roll.

Okay, so it's a fifth level, the spell magic. Cool. Shout out to the two oh Oh Yikes, you have more spell slats. Do you want to try you know what I could try it again? Yeah, I'll do a perception to see if you notice is anything. Okay. This is a dwarf name a Pillar nice. This is pillar the dwarf.ylner. Nice. Pylner. This is Pylner the dwarf.

I'm gonna see if he noticed your spell. He rolled, his passive perception is 10. So I'm a hundred and twenty feet away trying to hide, but he would probably notice that a spell was cast on him. Yeah, honestly. I don't have like subtle spell or anything. He rolled above a 10. I'm gonna say he did notice.

He's like, what the fuck was that? I'm coming back from my other window. You see him hop into his car and just, bam, peels out and leaves. Oh, okay. Well, he was worth a try. That really was chill. Just like he said.

That's true. It was true. This is, this is all DJ's fault if you think about it Okay, then we can fucking victim blaming man Big to fight you broke his window. I'm sorry. I've got to be honest. You said you were gonna be cool I am cool. Are you sure look? Yeah, you gave me these novelty sunglasses I look cool you do look very cool thank you is there anything else you want to do before you turn in for the night I think I'm good yeah well Tim this is weird do you want to come hang out with us oh my god yeah oh yes I figured not that I don't want to like no that's awesome really awesome thank you very much. It seems like you might not have put yourself

I say Jen's we're all staying in Jen's thoughts that might happen I would like to outnumber the parasites is kind of to be completely free Totally totally yeah Oh, do you have a parasite? Wilton, should I try to test this bell magic on you? I mean, I've eaten beabies in my time, but I mean, I also eat plenty of vitamins, so it should be what vitamins.

Oh, you might need to suck your own ass. Which vitamins have you been eating? Not vitamin X. I've been really into vitamin X. Ripley? Okay, there's been a recall. We can't tell you why you're not supposed to have vitamin X. Okay, because of an ongoing legal thing.

You guys knew so much about so much. But why? It's probably fine as long as you're not pregnant, nursing, and neemic. I don't want to be a stick in the mud, but you guys, we have to stop talking about vitamin X legally. I feel like anything else we say can be. The fact that we're even saying vitamin X is illegal. So we need to stop saying it.

If we want to just start calling it the vitamin, it always makes me feel great. So I don't know. Okay. Yeah. And they mean, and they do. And they do. And they do. I'll be sure I have to be a certain weight to be able to even like your body to handle. You have to be, you have to be between 200, 15 and 220 pounds for it to be safe. They're clinical trials demand that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wilton, you're a pretty big guy. And you also have a very high constitution. I

imagine that even if you had a BB, you might be able to fully metabolize it without the parasitic effects taking place. I don't have to suck my own ass. You can you can suck your ass. If you want to suck your own ass, we can also do what happens. I can also polymorph your BB into a hamster and then we can throw the hamster out, although it'll become your Damon forever, so... It's just sort of your choice. Oh, DJ is like a best friend from my hometown that I can't get rid of. Thanks man, that's the nicest thing you've ever said.

I guess I'll try and suck my own ass. An athlete, okay, I see an athlete. An athlete. You form a say ounce prayer circle around Wilton. I give a bardic inspiration. Is this athletic? Yeah, I give them that, that help action. Do suck it's on. Yeah, this could be athletics um maybe all maybe all rage for this

I give myself advantage He's freaking out. He's yelling at his own ass. I guess getting psyched up just getting psyched up. Okay, okay here we go Okay, here we go. Okay. Oh boy. Okay, yeah, I got a 38. Woo! Ha ha ha! You got 38 your own asshole. You fully managed to suck this parasite out of your body.

And then Suspended in your hand is a silvery little bug that looks suspiciously like an old party in gorilla. Oh no. Hello! It was me all along! Wincer? Uh-oh. Yes!

Wow! I was lying to you! Well, I guess you want to hang out you want to you want to find some stuff you want to you want to hang out Let's get some stuff my man. All right We got a hotel room we can crash in now, so Fantastic Capitur, alright, so I really liked Windsor so this is a great twist But, it's really I really liked Windsor, so this is a great twist. Oh, right.

Cool. So, what are we getting? What are we getting up to? I'm going to bed. Everyone just has to be quiet. Everyone can do what everyone wants in the room as long as all the lights are off and you're completely silent. Are you wearing your neck pillow to go sleep, brother?

Yes, of course. So you see Windsor starts ruffling through the mini fridge. Those backslime opening everything. Windsor. Yeah. Windsor's got the munchies. Those are $8 beers. And do you do anything else so you think you're finally trying to go to sleep?

I'm ready for that. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to bed. Cool. So you all fall asleep to the sound of Windsor, just crinkling potato chip bags and just housing a $12 Michelopaltra. I briefly wake up to Skinimax Plank. You know, that's the stop.

Winter, those movies cost money. Just watch something on your phone. Worth every penny. He does his own thing that's just sort of, it's always been that way. I'm going to take a shower for three hours. That's fine. That's fine, I guess. That's okay.

I guess we only have the one bathroom. That's gonna be a lot. If you're very small, Windsor, don't, don't get sucked down the drain. Oh, yeah. Windsor has his own little nighttime adventure. And you wake up to see him passed out, surrounded by snacks and hotel soaps and shampoos.

And it is the day of the wedding. Great. Great, now we can't take showers, I guess. He used all of the soap. When it comes to our parasites, it's kind of like, who's safe, too, you know? That's so nice. That's so nice. Oh my goodness.

Wow. That really affected pateonics. Wow. Awesome. You should put a bumper sticker on your car that says that. Not on my car, but on your car. I immediately do it. I love five onics.

I run to kinkos and make this happen. You put it on Pilders car. What the heck? So you managed to sponge bath yourself off with what's left of the soap and you get ready for the wedding and then you head back to the Leont Coliseum. Yes. You arrive back at Leont Coliseum. Everything is the same except now there are folding chairs set up near the large copper trophy cup and the tables are set with tiny place cards. Since you all helped with the wedding preparation you already have a general sense of who everyone

is and here is who you see. At the entrance you see Zee's parents, Torax and Bradley, chatting with Norwalk's parents, Brewster and Meridan. You also see Ron and Lixana as well as the Silverback of Rennipur, Haven. Wow. They got the Silverback. Ron and Lixana like waved you. Hi dad, hi mom.

Oh, me boys, me boys here. Happy wedding, me boys. Happy wedding. Hi, Ron. I met some good Ron's on my journey. Me boys here happy wedding me boys happy wedding. Hi Ron I met some good Ron's on my journey. I don't know if you're one yet, but I quick disguise self into Ronics and give and Jen's an encouraging notch Jens does it just fully doesn't know why but bursts into tears and is so happy. Whoa, me love this funny daughter.

You see that Ron comes up to you, Jens, and says, me happy you find such good friends to make sure you safe and to make sure you stay on right path, Jens. Let me love you. You know? I think you're an okay Ron. Nyak also burst into tears now. Yeah, Ron and Nyak are just weeping. They're just weeping so hard. You see, like, Santa starts weeping too.

Oh, my baby boys, They're all here my sweet daughter She looks like my husband it's weird, but I like it Wow this touching moment calls for some novelty sunglasses Do you have an inflatable sex? Oh, you know I do. I've got all I've got guitars saxophones I try really hard to play it and I'm confused when it doesn't work. So we are that you don't have a bag that you're just carrying all of this stuff loose. I got pretty big arms. Yeah, it just seems like a planning thing to have a bag.

They're all, everything is just strapped to my arms. I've got a big clipboard on one arm and then like all of you I've got like glow stick crystals and a sending stone with a beat pad and all of all of my beads and gear just like all of my arms the lightful. I want to just like walk around minor illusioning to just like really help the party apes cause. Oh okay what do you minor illusionusioning? I think what is your what is your vision of this because I do not want to minor allusion in something that would clash with it. So I'm imagining like you know a party that has a lot of apes. Right. Okay, Onyx is incredibly confused and she minor illusions some novelty, sort of Christmas lights that have little apes. Ask the little bulbs. Oh my god, I start weeping

great interpretation. Perfect. Onyx, as you do this this go ahead and give me a persuasion role I guess with advantage since You are doing it with Wilton. Okay That is going to be a 27 Whoo Very cool. So as you do this. I imagine Lexana and Ron catch up with a Jens and Nyak a little bit as well as the silverback You like talk about what's been going on in Rana 4

You know like you tell them about your adventure in the periphera, but while that's going on Onyx you and Wilton walk around the perimeter of the Coliseum minor illusioning up these like party ape lights And as you do you go around and you see that like all of the The wedding goers all of of the wedding party and family, they're into it. You see over by the altar already seated in the folding chairs as a gaggle of grandparents and they're like, oh, that's lovely. By the gift table, you see aunts and uncles like snooping on what gifts they got for people and they're like, hey, that's kind of fun. And by the bar, you see Norwalk's rowdy cousins, like all pounding hard celters and they like raise them up in solidarity. And then over on the other side of the tent,

you see Zee's old camp friends hogging the photo booth and they're like, oh, those are so fun, ready to go. And you ingratiate yourself to all of the wedding guests a little bit. Oh my God. Wilton, this is going so well. You're doing so good. Cross-generational appeal. Everybody loves fun glowing things. It's perfect. So, yeah, you kind of get a sense of all the guests that are here on it, as you walk around,

but you and your triplets already kind of knew who was coming because you helped put together the invitations, but tell me, keep it straight. In case there's anyone you want to talk to, I did make a little seating chart for you. And I'm going to send that over on the display right now. Oh my gosh, you planned a wedding and you didn't even have to. That's how much I love you. Norwalks on to is going to be very, very upset to be a table seven. Norwalks on to is gonna be very, very upset to be a table seven.

So yeah, while Onyx is decorating, Jins, Nia, is there anything you wanna do during this cocktail hour while everyone's kinda mingling? Should we get Onyx and do the photo booth? I mean, we have to, right? Oh, as we float over towards Onyx, Nyx's gonna try to eat a pastord or like a tiny little pig in a blanket or something.

Um, go ahead and give me another constitution, Rull. Come on, baby. Fuck, that's another six. Oh, that's two fails. I'm trying to digest like a big boy without the help of Kenny. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm shooting is best not good, but my mouth's just so small You're completely useless to me now Kenny. Do you understand that the problem might be that you're having a buggy your food first I think you're just okay horribly horribly sick

Let's it's true. I'll try I'll try something during the dinner. Let's go get on X and wilted and get some pictures taken because if there's like a big slide show thing and we're not in it, I'm going to be super pissed off later. Honestly, I just don't want anyone to have to deal with that. Yeah. No, you arrived sort of in a sour move. So let's see. It's just I feel like I'm just having a day. And so we're all just we're all just gonna have a better day. We're all just gonna have to deal with that. This is just something we're all gonna have to deal with. It's it's our problem. Okay. Let's go. It's just very seriously. Let's just go get Onyx and we'll take it. Okay. Onyx, I'll take a letter. No. Okay.

Onyx, Onyx, onyx, onyx is having a day. So that's gonna be that's on all of us. Okay, so we are accommodating. Okay. Yes. Absolutely. I will, I will make sure that I feel bad as well. Put let's get the party ape in the pictures too. Okay. We'll do. Would you like to be in a picture? Oh, yeah. I've just been like handing out sunglasses to everybody. I come over. I'll take an air sacs, please. Oh, yeah. Of course. Minus, mine is deflated because I've chewed it so hard trying to make it make sound. Fresh in your sex, man.

It's kind of limpant. No, I actually like this little inflated one. Great. Takes all kinds. I see you have a lot of sort of plastic hats. Do you have any that are velvet or? Oh, you're having a day. Yeah, I've got I know just I have a special I have one special hat just in case there's any party poopers in that in the place

They want to feel special. I don't know if I'd call myself a party poop I'll take the hat take the hat. I'll take the fucking hat. Go enjoy. I think I take Jens aside And I say oh fucking kidding aside don't be a fucking party pooper I'm not being a party trooper I didn't get it you know what it's it's driving me nuts I didn't get to I didn't get to take a shower this

morning and I just feel gross you know what I mean why don't you just go into the bathroom yeah should I take a it's mid-wedding shower I can I'll spritz you I I was throwing up in a diarrhea in that bathroom before, it's really nice. I'm just gonna wear the hat. I'm just saying, Jen, you know, today isn't about you, it's about Wilton.

Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that, that means a lot. Actually, you're right, at the end of the day. This is about a nervous guy starting to be poorly advised business Starting a business he's clearly He slept on the floor of our very small hotel room after we watched him suck his own ass The wedding planter showed up at the same time as us. That's an issue. He didn't know any indicators He but he has a lot of a lot of party favors like a lot. A lot. And it's really, this is a nice wedding, but we've really gone for part of the favors. Anyway, so you're going to take a picture. Yeah. Let's smile.

Three, two, one.. I hold up my deflated Just tries way too hard to look hot like he's trying to look like he's having fun, but he's trying to look hot Nyek blinks Nyek keep your eyes open man Why don't you all give me a performance role? Okay 21 dirty 20. I also got. 21. Dirty 20. I also got a 21. Ooh. I got a nine.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. We also have perfect and then, I guess his eyes closed. I close my eyes and slip on an entire table of props.

Ooh. Ooh. Oh. I actually face like a perfect smear. Do I look blurry? You in real life? What? I think I'm by this blurry and real life.

I'm ex-considered this deeply. Hmm, maybe you do when I shake my head back and forth, yeah, you do. Really? I'm really sorry, yeah. I turned to Kenny, you ruined me. This is all on you. You're blurry, you're blurry. That's because I shake my head when I talk.

Why don't we all go sit down and get ready for the ceremony. Great plan. Wait, I wanna see if the photo booth does something. You see your photos come out and you do see that the camp friends, Zee's camp friends, kind of watch you all pose and they seem pretty impressed by Wilton, Jins, and Onyx,

but they see Nyak slip and they're like, uh-huh. I guess these taste and friends kind of changed as she grew up. Cool. I have a terrifying inclination that Gogo may be secretly writing down, like, whether or not we are making good impressions on the other way, yes. Um, hey, do you want to take a group picture? A group picture?

Yeah, but not with, um, we don't have room for everyone. I kind of motion for Niaq. No, no, no, it seems like there's room for everyone in here. Interesting. Yeah, we'll just like tear it, you know, like, we'll like get people on their knees in the front. Absolutely, I do a full split in the front. Okay, I will. I grab Niac. Niac, we need to look hot and this picture okay. Brother, it's not a problem. I take off my shirt and I reveal my tattoo.

The perfect wedding present. I didn't mean to give the gift early. I'm gonna give Niac party conspiracy. Thank you. The perfect wedding present. I didn't mean to give the gift early. I'm gonna give, I'm gonna give Nayak party conspiracy. Thank you. Well, don't forget to use your D4 as well. Yeah, yeah, my blessing. I'll give you, well you can have it for the day So even if even if you don't use it for this. Yeah, sweet. That's a D10. Yeah. Are we doing another performance? Yeah, do another performance check. Oh, baby 30 17 15 for me Do another performance check. Ooh, baby. 30. Ooh. Ooh. 17. 15 for me. Okay, let's, I have a minus one to perform it.

Mm-hmm. I'll use my, 16. You have a D10 as well. Oh yeah, all right, I'll use it. I'll use it. It's important. I feel like the rest of us have already made an okay

impression. 16 points still is still good though. important. I feel like the rest of us have already been okay in person. It's still good though. 24. 24. Oh yeah. I'd really hate to do anything less than a 21, I take my shirt off. So it actually makes sense. You see the wilderness a little sweaty in the picture,

but otherwise y'all are holding it together. And you do see the camp friends are like, you know what, maybe we're wrong about you. I see what Zogaf season you know. See you out there on the dance floor, huh? All right. Yeah. This is the magic of parties.

Didn't know each other before knowing each other and kind of getting along. It's beautiful. You see one of the camp friends, uh, T, a dragonborn says, is there a wedding hashtag? Oh, yeah, it's party ape. Part, that's weird, but okay. She tags it with party ape. Actually, I did see the popular accounts, Classco, a Trinstagram account,

did use the hashtag party ape. So I think it's actually a pretty popular thing, you know. Oh, wow, yeah, it's trending. All right, yeah, we'll tag it with that. It's so good to meet you. Any friend of ZZ's is a friend of ours. Yeah, have a great time, have a great night. Yeah, you too, you want some beads?

I would love some beads. No, some beads. The Dragonborn puts the beads on her horns. Cool, so yeah, you mingle a little more, but then eventually you do see that the band, which is of course called Orkin for the Weekend, begins to play. And as they do, a set of ushers directs you towards your positions in front of the large copper trophy, because it is time for the wedding to start.

Okay, everyone, it's time for the wedding to start. You see the ushers like, hey man, we got this. What? This is our job, what do you do? I'm the, okay, I check my clipboard. Right, yeah, yeah, totally, totally. It's time for the wedding to start, use the hashtag. So yeah, Nyak, you and Onyx make your way

to either side of this large trophy. As I make my way, I'm going to cast Freedom of Movement on myself just as my invocation. Don't very cool. And then Nyak, you do see that the Silverback decked out in a beautiful Silver Time vest is standing proudly at the altar. He kind of winks at you, so could you see you again, son. Yes, you too, mighty silverback. I'm so glad, you know what? I was really worried about you and the periphera, but you guys did so good. I'm so proud. I've got deeply. He bows back. Wow. Gives you a big slap on the back. Very, very cool. I'd love to cut a ribbon in town next time you're unavailable. Ha ha ha ha ha!

You name the ribbon, you name the time, it's yours. I exercise filled with tears and he steps to the side. And then of course, Jens, you take your place in front of everyone. I've been taking drinks at, I needed ice block for one of the things that I'm going to do during the dance. So I've just been taking all of the drinks out of ice. All right, you steal some ice from the caterer is perfect. Awesome, so yeah, you are getting loose,

getting warmed up for your routine. Everyone else is getting seated. And once all the guests are getting loose, getting warmed up for your routine. Everyone else is getting seated. And once all the guests are in place, the band switches their tune and all heads turn as Zogaff and Norwalk dressed to the absolute nines appear from arched doorways on either side of the Colosseum and make their way towards the altar. Once they arrive, everyone sits back down, and the silverback begins his invocation. Dearest kin, bound by blood and soul, we are gathered here today to honor two warriors who wish to join their hearts inside Leon's righteous flame. As his tradition, the two shall now exchange their rings and offer their vows.

The silverback produces two wooden rings woven from thick horny vines. Horny indeed. Should be thorny vines, but horny makes more sense. Hey. He gives them to Norwalk and Z. Why don't we do a roll off to see who does their vows first? Okay.

It's a 13 for Z. That is a 12 for Norwalk. Oh ho ho ho! You first, my lovely wife. Ah, always one step ahead of you. But you're always right there watching my caboose. Norwalk for my entire life, I've been a rogue, sneaking around in the shadows, not being honest with myself, but ever since I met you, I felt more like a barbarian, because you

put me in a gosh darn frenzy. You're kind, you're sensitive, and you don't look too bad in a pair of thungarees either. So from now on, I'm done hiding my feelings. I love you with all my heart, and sweetie, I'm ready to rage. She pulls out a flash and takes a big jug, and then just tosses it into the air. Woo! Ow! Ah! It's Jen's, it's all over his way. Yeah, and you see she slips this wooden ring onto your finger. Norwalk, what do you do?

I, uh, well I didn't prepare any vows, but off the cuff, I love it, babe. Off the cuff, you know me, I speak from that. Um, now, I'm a, I'm a man of simple pleasures. You know that about me. I, I like to eat, drink, and screw. We fuck, we fuck folks. Sorry, Nana, we fuck. Woo!

But, but darling, even if you were, even if you were a much simpler lady, you would have exceeded my wildest, wildest dreams. I don't deserve you, and I love you. Now let's get trashed and f***! Woo! You slipped the wooden ring on Tazee's finger. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! the bloodpire. As performed by world renowned sword dancer and positivity influencer, Jinz Lindell. I think I got my camera because I'm considering sharing this dance on Classical. Yeah, Niaq doesn't clap because he's sort of reading the room, but then he has to try to start some energy.

I cast fog cloud and you see like a mist come out on the dance floor and you just hear dissonant whispers go, Gens, Gens, love, love, sex, sex, beauty, beauty. And you see Gens, saunches out of the dance floor in an extremely sexy outfit, has another costume change, another costume change. He has two swords, the points of both of them are on fire. And as he does his dance and spins the swords, he makes one look like Norwalk and one look like Z and

makes it look like they're making passionate love. And then the swords are fucking. This is awesome. Oh my god. Wow. I've never seen swords fuck before. Amazing, Jess. That's exactly what we do a lot. Rhythmically making love as I gesture to Niaq to bring out the ice block. Niaq sprints towards the ice block and runs back sort of throwing his voice in different directions saying, wow, this is amazing. Oh my god, this guy's the coolest.

Can you believe this dancer is on fire? And then I put the ice block in the center. Once I have the ice block, I use the flaming points of the swords to chip away at it and it forms an ice sculpture of gins in like a thoughtful position with a rose in the smell. And then I put a rose in my mouth

and I take the exact same pose next to the ice sculpture. Wilton stands up and starts applauding very loudly. Yeah, I applaud from the altar. Same. Gens, I need you to give me a performance role and also a religion role. Okay. That was a religious experience.

Performance is a 26. Beautiful. Religion is a eight. Ah! Ah! Ah! That's about right for Jens. So you see as you finish this a small trickle of fire forms in the copper trophy behind

you and then it lights as you're breathing heavily. You see that the ice starts to melt at the same rhythm as the sweat dripping off of your face. And you survey the crowd to see how your performance went. And it seems like all of the cousins and camp friends were super impressed by how rowdy and just raunchy your routine was. Unfortunately, the grandparents and aunts and uncles thought it was probably not as tasteful as they would have liked. It was a bit too sexy, so you did not impress any of them. But the camp friends and the cousins are hootin' and hollering

and they are having a great time. Great. It's more for a young demographic anyway. I start doing a sexy stomach roll. It's too sexy. You disrespect our people. The game right is too sexy. Don't worry, I have a really respectful dance that I'll do later for the old folks.

Do I see any of the caterers looking at this flame? I'm assuming this is the flame that we are looking for, or am I incorrect to assume so. Do an insight. Ten. A ten? It's a pretty fire. This fire is so pretty.

Looks cool, looks important. Okay. All right. Even with a ten inside, I'm still kind of like just looking for any caterers to come try to mess with the fire. You see all the caterers are keeping their distance currently. Okay. Most of them are inside preparing the dinner, which is about to start after the ceremony

ends. You see a couple of them are watching, some of the usher's obviously you're like keeping an eye on the things, but they don't seem too interested in the fire. Okay, so gins. You see this flame blossoming behind you It does fully melt your ice sculpture. It's very hot Okay, we were done with the sculpture This is all part of it. Gins looks upset. You put it so close you put it close to the fire I didn't do that on purpose brother brother I put it where you told me to Adapted I didn't realize the fire was gonna be this bright wilton gestures towards

One of the caterers to like grab a mop They're like now there's the ceremony people are gonna slip people are gonna slip fall I just I just feel like I should wait, okay, you could not Okay, who are you what do you work here? I'm the party eight Okay, just give me just give me the mop. Just give me the mop. I'll do it. I'll do it We'll then start to mopping up though. Are you sure you're you're holding a lot of stuff what you're holding a lot of stuff I'm what yeah, you're already holding a lot of stuff It's true. Yeah, I need to get you like a photographer's best or something to put all of this I honestly love a best

As you attempt to clean up this spill you see Z looks to Norwalk Smiles then sticks our hand directly into the fire. What a woman. Noruck, what do you do? That's hot as hell, baby. I'm right there with you. I'm burning with desire.

Oh, yeah! Yeah! I'm out! Oh, I put my hand in the fire too. The two lovers reach their hands through the fire and grasp them together. You see the silver back puts up both his hands. Let Leon's mighty flames test your love! After a moment of holding your hand in there, you and Z remove them, and you see the rings on your finger are still flaming.

But after a moment, the flame dies down and reveals not a wooden ring but a beautiful metal band that close with the divine lights. Now that's cool. Your two flames shall now burn forever as one. Congratulations! You may now kiss each other! Hey, that's not all I'm gonna do. Well, it's all I'll do here.

Oh ho ho! I'll make swatches. So, Zian Norwalk, make out for, hold on. One second. You're gonna roll D6. Do you want 100? Five minutes. Whoa.

Wow. And everyone cheers the entire time. And after five minutes, they break apart. Woo! All right, let's eat! You see everyone cheers. The band starts playing some cheerful orcish anthems, and the wedding staff brings out everyone's food, and it is time for the reception.

You all sit down, the band leader, who is this tiefling and a dazzling, sequined blazer takes the mic. He says, I hope everyone's enjoying themselves. And if not, that's about to change. You're, this is party ape behavior. Wait, wait, what? I run, I run up and grab the microphone. Okay. Yeah, I hope everyone's having a great time and if you're not, that's about to show.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. Plug the hashtag's having a great time and if you're not that's about to show yeah Okay, yeah, plug the hashtag Wilton plug the hashtag This guy give this guy knows this is my guy right here. Yeah, yeah, oh he wish person your ear Because coming up because coming up we've got speeches from the native honor Oh, we've got speeches from the made of honor. Oh, we've got speeches from the made of honor and the best man. Yeah, let's hear it folks. All right, I can only, let me do that. Just let me do that part. Just let me do that.

Okay, go for it, man. All right, everyone, let's get them up here. Yeah. You see the teeth of the kind of shrugs? Like, I don't know. I only get paid four beers. That's not cool. We're going to work on that.

I'm going to give Bartik inspiration to Onyx and Nyek. Please do. Okay, so the way this is gonna work, you're gonna be doing speeches at the same time. I need you to each to roll performance and history. Okay. Performance for your speech and history for how well you know the couple.

Whoa. May I roll both before I decide which one to give bardic inspiration to? Uh, yeah, that's fine. Oh, God, I rolled so bad. Goddamn it, guys. This is insane. I rolled so bad. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Can I help action one of those? I mean you're on the stage So I'd allow you to help action one of them. I'm gonna my fucking bardic is bad. Yeah, would whoever's lowest roll Let me- let me help it With help I don't do any better. Great. Okay Naya Kazepanak attack. Oh no I guess Onyx is too drunk because she got a... Okay, actually, she got two-fifth teens with the bardic inspiration, then Foley.

That's not so bad. That's okay. Yeah. Um, and Nayaq, how did you do, my friend? I got a 14 on my performance. Okay. I got a 10 on my history. Okay. I got a 10 on my history. Okay, it's not terrible.

Seems like standard wedding speech, which is almost worse than failing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. None of those are awful. I think that everyone is just kind of like, okay, you know, nobody is really impressed,

but nobody is like furious at your speeches. So what do you say? What is the milk toast speech that you both give that does not offend anyone? I think I speak in platitudes about love, and I say love is about finding your other half. Wow. If you are not complete until you find your other half or third if you prefer, if that is how you or fourth or fifth, there are so many ways to find love. And I just really go into the logistics of that.

You see Brewster is like, let's get the cake out here, let's get the cake out. This is not going great. Nadasa's dictionary defines love. Hahaha. As just the cake whenever you have it, if it's ready. Hold the cake, hold the cake. Are we doing the cake now or? I feel like.

I'm just saying sometimes love can be actually platonic, but is that different than romantic love? We'll start cutting it up. We'll start cutting it up while they're doing it, so that it's really cool. I knew I knew a love once there was a small man living inside me that shared every meal. Yes, I was about to say like,

what does what is the way I feel for Katie? Easy, platonic or easy romantic? I'll make sure losing them. My economics are both holding the same microphone. I'm like, as you deliver this absolutely fine speech, you do see that a couple of caters wheel out this massive coconut cream cheese red velvet wedding cake. I'd like to do an inside on the cake.

Okay. Oh, 18. 18. Some funky about that cake, onyx. Okay, that's some. Okay, can I cast something? Sure, I just want to cast flame arrows just in case shit goes down.

It lasts for an hour. As you give this speech your quiver lights on fire. Oh, whoa, whoa. Oh, hey buddy, you see the speech your quiver lights on fire Whoa whoa oh Hey buddy, you see the band leaders like is this that's supposed to happen fire of techniques whoa Yes, you saw my brother's dance. I take after him a little bit. I try to do a split mid speech. Uh-huh. It's worse Can I be with Keith and Katie, you know? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha here. You take the mic. I'll whisper in here. Okay? I just look I just look over to Norwalk. I thought I thought I was the you are you are buddy. Okay. You take what yours. All right.

You take that mic. You're the MC now. Sir, you're right with this. You whisper in his ear. You piece of shit. I'm paying you sir. Okay. You five beers. All right. Okay. Okay. I'll get you six beer I'll get you a six beer it'd be cool deal all right yeah you see the band leader starts whispering your ear I hope you all safe room for dessert I hope you all safe room for dessert because the bride and groom are about to cut into this because the bride and groom are about to cut into this beautiful, uh, uh, dessert. Cake. Wedding cake. It's a cake.

Okay. Norwalk laughs really, really hard. I think you're really gonna like it. I think you're really gonna like it. Because. Because. There's a surprise in the center. Oh, am I supposed to do the voice?

This is what I just check. I just, I get I'm looking at the clipboard on my arm just like I don't, is there, there's nothing, there's nothing here about a surprise in the center of the cake. You look over at the band leader and see that for a moment his face flickers to a face you don't recognize but onyx, niac and jins, you definitely do. It's your old friend, Cash. Hmm. Hmm. He grins and points towards the caterer holding the cake.

And suddenly, the cake begins to grow. Uh. Sugary, pseudo pods emerge from all sides. Within the tiered layers, you see a sinister red ooze covered in hundreds of glowing silver eyes. No, no, no, no, this can't be happening. We can work with this, we can work with this, Wilton. Suddenly, the eyes all turn to face the silver back and begin sliding towards him. As this happens, the eyes of the waitstaff,

chefs, photographer, and even the band leader glow silver as well. And they all pull out weapons. You see the band leader still sporting coins face wings, then his face returns to normal and he shouts for everyone to attack. Everybody roll initiative. Oh boy. I roll initiative with advantage. Woohoo! Is the caterer who has the pin there? The caterer who has the pin is there, yes.

Great. Yeah, Grush is there. Dirty 20 on initiative. Shout out to the two crew. Uh, six for me. Shout out to the two crew. Six for me. Shout out to the six litrix. I got a 19. Cool.

So as the possessed staff rushes in, you see Zee and Norwalk nodded each other, kiss, then launch in to fight them. Inspired by their braver, you see Zee and Norwalk's parents as well as Ron and Lixana rush Russian to join the Frey as well. However, you look around at the other tables and realize that everyone else is terrified. Some of them are frozen in fear while others are at this moment trying to flee. Currently the bride and groom, as well as this crew of parents, are battling against a pack

of 24 staffers. Z notices this huge imbalance and shouts back to you. Hey, I had bridal party. See if you can't get these free loaders to help out, huh? And before we begin the battle proper, I'm gonna need each of you to make a persuasion role to see if one group of wedding guests is going to join the fight.

Oh, geez. Fuck me. Persuasion, huh? Just so, you know, the spell I had cast on that pin is called Symbol. Ooh. And I said it to trigger basically when they all turned on us,

when the BBs activated. So anybody within 60 feet who will say the people that I don't want it to affect are the people who slept in our room last night. So us and Wilton. Okay. Everybody within a 60 foot radius sphere of that dude gets hopelessness.

Each target must make a charisma saving throw on a failed save. The target is overwhelmed with despair for a minute. During this time it can't attack or target any creature with harmful abilities, spells, or other magical effects. So they just shit, become lost in themselves. That is so cool. So, um, awesome. Yeah, they're all kind of circling around the tables on the dance floor, like kind of trying to move in slowly towards the silverback. So 60 feet. This dance floor is definitely not bigger than 60 feet. I think you can probably affect everyone that's possessed.

Pat, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to load up an online dice roller. And I'm going to roll 24 D20s. Yay! You gotta go digital with the number. Luckily, there are Christmas 0, so they're not gonna add anything to it. I'm gonna roll them. Okay. They need to be in 18.

Yeah, if they get that number exactly. 18 or better. Yeah. 18 or better. Alright, so let's see. That's one pass. Fail. Fail.

Fail. Pass. Pass. Fail. Fail. Fail. Tick. Pass. Pass. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Fail. Pass. That's four passes. Fail. Fail. Pass. Five. Fail.

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. All right, it's great. OK.

So they're just so hopeless. You see they're all like, man this fucking sucks. The system's never gonna change. We're gonna stuck it four beers for a while. We're gonna talk about this more after this, but for now it's good that you're discouraged. But you do see that five are like, no, we fight for coin! We shall claim the silver back and give his essence to our Lord coin. Woo!

And they're still going to try and fight you, but I guess we also need to do roles for all of the people at the wedding too. So I will go ahead and roll another. Let's see, how many people are at this wedding? There are. Yeah, I think the way this spell works is you make a glyph

and you can specify specific people you don't want it to affect, but I didn't know going into it if all of the guests were gonna turn against us or something, so I'm not gonna met a game and be like, only staff, because I thought we might get attacked by our friends. I mean, I do think it's possible some of them might get, if we don't enlist them, they could turn against us.

Yeah, that's true. It's only, it doesn't hurt anybody. It just makes them temporarily hopeless. So funny. I mean, let's be very honest though, this is terrible for the wedding. It's just terrible for Wilton. Well, they'll kick out of their guests or hopeless.

People will always remember how hopeless they felt in this wedding. So I'm not gonna make this silverback roll because he has the presence of the Dawson item and can beat this, but I'm gonna make everyone else roll which is 24 more D20s. I'm just gonna do a flat roll for this. I'm not gonna add their modifiers.

Okay, here we go. Here are the guests that pass. Fail. Pass. It's one pass. Fail, fail, fail, fail, pass. Fail, fail, fail, pass. Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, pass. Fail, fail, pass. Fail, pass. Fail, fail, pass, fail, pass, yeah, fail, fail. Great, six passes.

Please don't count that up. I think I said fail the right amount of times, but anyway. That is six passes, six passes from the guest. Five passes from the caterers. Okay. Yes, okay, so you see instantly so many of the caterers. Okay. Yes. Okay. So you see instantly so many of the caterers are despondent but five of them still are ready to fight. But then you see most of the

wedding guests are also despondent. It looks like maybe they just got a little too tipsy and passed out. But you see six of the guests are still in it. I'm gonna say that that is going to be two cousins, one grandma, two camp friends, and one aunt. So you each are gonna get a chance to recruit one of those groups. Great, all right. Niaak, you are first, who do you wanna try and recruit? Give me grandma, I'm great with old folks.

Okay, there DC is 15. So you need to be to 15 on a charisma role. I'm gonna walk up and say, I thought that high health stance was very distasteful. That's why I put the ice block in the fire to bring an end to it. It was too much. That's a nat one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Uh, the Orcish grandmother says, personally, I think it was good. It was Hormie's Hill, and I loved it. Who the hell are you? Get out of here.

Of course, I bow as I backtrack. So you see the grandmother flees, you fail to impress her. That makes sense. That makes sense. And that leaves us with four more guests. Okay, that is going to be Wilton. Who do you want to impress her. That makes sense. That makes sense. And that leaves us with four more guests. Okay, that is going to be Wilton. Who do you want to impress? I guess I'll go for the cousins because they're also apes. Great. Oh, cool. I would like to, as a bonus action, go into a rage.

Mm-hmm. Great. And as an ancestral guardian, when I do that, the spirits of part of yours passed come and surround me. Ooh. And I say, I'm just like, everything was going perfect. This was going to be my big break. It was a beautiful ceremony. And then these party poopers had to come in here

and ruin everything. This will not stand. We will defend this party to our dying breaths. Who's with me? I am my good boy. That's right, Windsor. That's right. Go ahead and give me a persuasion roll. Uh, okay. Uh, that is a 16. 16. Um, yeah. You see the cousins are like, Yeah! This is our party.

This is our family. Norwalk is our cousin. We're not letting these fuckers get in here and mess this up for him. Let's do it! Ranna for for life! Woo! Uh, they all beat their chests and they rush into the fray. So yeah, that is two people standing against these caterers.

I just remembered Niax, Nat one on the old people. Oh, fuck! Oh! Awesome, that is going to be Onyx. Okay, I am going to go up to the camp friends because I feel like we took a picture together and I'm going to try to persuade them. And I got a 29.

Wow, you're gonna be 19 and they have a plus 10 to persuasion. They're persuaded. You walked up to them, they instantly pull out baseball bats with nails on them. Wow, how did you smuggle that in? walked up to them, they instantly pull out baseball bats with nails on them. Ha ha ha. Wow, how did you smuggle that in? This is wilting a lot of people have weapons at your party.

What? That's really awesome. Thank you. Yeah, I buried it here last week. Ha ha ha. Yeah, so I mean, just to be totally clear, go after the people with silver in their eyes. You got it, babe.

They launch in. There are four wedding members now up against five caterers. And that brings us to Jins. Sweet, there's nobody left, right? There's actually one aunt left, an orcish woman named Furnog is left. Okay. I guess I saunter over to Furnog. Okay. How horny is this aunt?

Just so I know if it should be a tasteful dancer, if it should be sort of a trashy dance. Well, I think by just like the rules of nature answer, usually about like 10% hornier But I want you to go and give me a insight check. Okay 19 Oh, she's ready for it. Okay. Oh, yes, whatever you have for an odd will accept I take off my gloves to show some skin

Oh And the gloves were covering my entire arms, and they were also attached to a bodysuit that was over my entire body. I essentially get near nude. And I begin writhing like a sweaty snake, doing like a belly roll. This boy is all fingers.

Okay, go ahead and roll. 32. Wow. Oh my God. You see, Fernog is starting to get into it. She kind of sways back and forth while shuffling her feet a little bit. And I'm just dancing so much. I'm just writhing and sweating so much. Yeah. She looks like she's on a little bit. And I'm just dancing so much. I'm just writhing and sweating so much.

Yeah, she looks like she's on a cruise ship. You see she got a lay from Wilton earlier and now she puts it on you while you're dancing. I turn on Jens' fog machine real quick. Oh, I gotta get one of those. Okay, that brings our total to five wedding guests versus five caterers. Oh, rad, so yeah, you don't have to worry about them at all

All that's left is for you and five crabsters to defeat this giant cake, which is headed towards the silverback Okay, amazing work that actually worked out. I can't believe it. Oh yeah All right, so that is going to be let me roll real quick The dread velvet which is the name of the cake, rolled in natural one. Whoa. Dread Velvet. That is going to be Nyax turn. All right.

You stay away from that silver back. We need him to open up stores and shops in Rana4. That's right. I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark on the cake. Great. Oh! Didn't like that, did you? That is a 19 to hit.

19 does hit. Sweet. And I'm going to fire again at the cake, aiming for the frosting this time. That's a nat 20 baby. Yes. Woo! This cake is not too loose, it's frosting. This cake was hoping it would have some caterers

to help it fight, but oops, it does not. All right, 50 damage on the cake. Wow. 50 damage? Yeah. That's from both my arrows with the flame and Hunter's Mark, baby. That's a flambé. Ooh.

As you fire this flaming arrow, it launches into the cake, and you do see it flambays it. Delicious. And you see that it starts trying to regenerate the hole that you put in it, but because you shot a flaming arrow at it, it cannot. Ooh. Also, you see the silverback mowls, holy shit.

When you fire that arrow, it's proud of how far you've come. I flashed the hang loose side. By the way, I am gonna need everyone that is standing close to the cake. I imagine that's all of you at this point. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, where is the cake in the middle of the dance floor? Yes, the cake is in the middle of the dance floor.

Then yeah, yeah, I'm right there. I'm always in the center of the dance floor, so I'd be right there too. I'm going to need you all to make a constitution save. My specialty should be a problem. Fuck. Fuck me. Three.

Woof. That's a 19. Whoa. For six. Do you add anything to that knock? I add two to Constitution. Can you add anything else? Oh, can I add anything else?

Yeah. Let me see with the jam point. Only strength or dex. And I already use that D4. Cool. I got a 30. Whoa. Very nice. So everyone but Wilton fails. Cool, I got a I got a 30 Whoa very nice

So everyone but Wilton fails and you now are overwhelmed with flavor and have food poisoning Which is just regular poisoning, but you feel like you had too much butter great. Oh wait Naya has that yeah Because of my sunscreen. I'm actually immune to poison today Whoa, that's right. Hell yes! I ate a little sunscreen and I have a very hardy stomach. Whatever works for you, buddy! Yeah, somehow the sunscreen got in your stomach and prevents you from being poisoned.

The other two of you, Jens and Onyx, you have disadvantage on ability checks and attacks. I believe it's what poison does. Oh dear. Cool. That is going to be Willens turn. Okay. I said I used a rage for flavor for my persuasion,

but we'll just say I'm raging now on my turn. That's okay. It's a bonus action. So I am surrounded by spirits of party apes of the past and I say anyone who wants to stop this party has to go through us, right boys? Yeah, yeah, capital, yes indeed. So I am going to whack this cake with my big gorilla arm that is covered in all sorts of party paraphernalia, which for the mechanical purposes of this game is a plus one war hammer. Awesome. And I'm going to-

So flashy. I'm going to attack recklessly, so I have advantage. 25 to hit. That hits. Okay, and I'm gonna make it a menacing attack as well. So I'm gonna spend a superiority die because I did multi-class battle master so it needs to make a DC 18 wisdom saving throw or be frightened. Okay, you're gonna try and frighten a cake. I am gonna try and frighten the cake All right, here we go. Oh, it beats it. Okay, the cake is not afraid, but... It's a dotless cake.

I still get to roll damage. So that's going to be 26 damage. And because I am raging, the party spirits surround the cake. And since it was the first creature I attacked on my turn It now has disadvantage on attacks it makes against anyone other than me very cool Until the start of my next turn you said 26 damage 26 damage and I am going to attack again Okay, that's gonna be a 29 to hit that hits believe it or not What size is the cake?

Not gargantuan, but I guess large if it's larger smaller. Okay, I'm gonna try and make a trip attack this time I'm gonna try and trip you're gonna ruin the cake. I'm gonna try and trip the cake. Okay, so That's another superiority die damage is going to be 21 on that attack and it has to make a Strength saving throw, okay Oh shit, what does it need to beat 18? Okay, it's gonna use a legendary resistance To overcome that save fair enough

You see your hand like just sinks into the gooey center of the cake and you just get spit back out. There's a tough cake. Nice turn that is going to be the silver back You see that he runs up stands right next to an eye act from the palm of his hand You see this silver bow Emerges and then he like conjures this wispy silver arrow He says I don't know about you, but I'm not going down without a fight, huh? That's why you're the man silver back. Hey right back at you buddy

He draws his arrow and fires two shots at the cake That's an at 20 wow nice. That's why he's the silver back Second one's gonna hit as well Let me roll some damage for this boy real quick This is 10 d8's from the silverback That's a lot of d8's so that's 44 damage on the first attack Jesus nice. It's a hearty cake You see that the inside is like Jesus. Nice. It's a hearty cake. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fires these like spectral silver arrows, clearly blessed by Nadas, themselves into this cake.

RADO! It recoils. It makes the noise that a cake would make if it could. Yeah, it's starting to like, droop a little bit, and that is going to bring us to Onyx. Okay, um, okay, first off,

the person who Mercurio pretended to be, does it look like it is Mercurio, or was he just projecting through them? I want you to do an insight check. 30-20. He was just projecting. Just projecting. Oh, with that insight check, do I understand if anyone is trying to go for this flame? You see that most of the wedding guests and the catering staff are either moping in a corner

or passed out on a table, including Norwalk and Z and Norwalk and Z's parents and Ron and Lixana. At the same time, you see that the cake is desperately trying to get at the silverback, and you see that the remaining caterers that are fighting for coin are also trying to fight towards where the silverback is. So this is not even like a people like Mercurio does not care about the flame that we are coming to see. No, you don't get that since. Okay, well, I guess I will just do synaptic state on the remaining caterers.

Whoa. So you choose a point and range. Each creature on a 24th radius sphere centered on a point must make an intelligence saving throw. A target takes 86 damage on a failed save. Half as much on a successful one. Please let me know who fails. They have to do a 17 intelligence saving throw. Okay, their intelligence is negative two. Nice

Only one of them beats it go and roll the damage Okay, well done. I'm going to do that on my computer 30 30 damage 30 psychic damage. Yeah, you see all four of these caterers just instantly slump over and then the other one. Oh, okay, so they don't even need it. Okay cool. Don't got to worry about it So I guess fuck them if did any of them die? Yes, okay, do you want to do you want to kill them? Uh, I will kill one. Well, they might be just uh, parasites, right? Well, fuck me.

Okay, I cannot use my soul cage then. Is there anyone who looks evil enough that I can kill and steal their soul and put it in a soul cage? The cake looks pretty evil. Uh-huh, he's not going to die. Um, does anyone have a vivify? Uh, no. Okay. Well, I guess I will not kill them and steal their soul. He's not going to die. Does anyone have a vivify? No. Okay. I guess I will not kill them and steal their souls.

They were just trying to make the party. They were just trying to work the party. I was just trying to get advantage so that I could negate the disadvantage so I could attack again. Okay. Then that is my turn. I also will bonus action, hex blade curse the cake. Cool. Jins, that is my turn. I also will bonus action hex blade girse the cake cool jeans. That is your turn sweets Um, I

Will help on X overcome the poison thing by casting greater invisibility on her Wooo Thank you, Jones. So now y'all are invisible just she is so greater invisibility is a Concentration thing you can only do it on one person, but they can attack during it. Cool. Alright. Wow. Oh, that would give her advantage. So it just neutralizes it. Great. Yep. Very cool. Jen, this is a much better option than me stealing the soul of an innocent. Yeah, I figured as much. Who said that? You're gonna do what to me? Yeah, no, it's weird. I definitely had a moral quandary about the value of your soul.

We'll make it up to you. You can sleep in our hotel room tonight. What? No. It's a good hotel room. So, um, that is going to be the dread velvet's turn. Wilton, you said that if they attack anyone other than you, they do a disadvantage, right? Yeah. And any damage they do, if they do damage to someone other than me, I didn't say this part, but I'm reading about it now. Yeah. If they do damage to anything other than me, the target creature has resistance to the

damage dealt. Oh, interesting. Also, I attack recklessly, so things, everything has advantage against me. Can we say as a bonus action, I'll give, at the end of my turn, I'll give Wilton Barric inspiration. Great. Whoa. Wow.

I feel inspired. You're inflatable saxophone re-inflates. Whoa. Well, that was actually mine. What? What's happening? I see it inflate and I'm inspired by that. You see an invisibly held

Difflated invisible saxophone reinflate Amazing So I think I'm gonna do a Insight role to see if the cake is smart enough to know that it should be going for you as opposed to the silverback, okay to know that it should be going for you as opposed to the silverback. Okay. Oh. That's a 15. I think they know better, so they are going to head towards you, Wilton, and start attacking

you because they know that if they attack you first, the silverback will be easy pickings. Bring it on. Come on. Woo! Awesome. I will say, Niac, thanks to your arrow, the dread velvet cannot regenerate this turn. So you see this red ooze starts like sloughing out of the holes you put in it. And I think that they are going to do, they're going to attack Wilton using the bloat spell. Okay. The last thing you want to be at a wedding is looking bloated.

No. That's so disgusting. I've got to be in so many pictures. You see that they just use all of their pseudopods and fill your mouth with this just delicious cream cheese icing that is so thick and so decadent, but so heavy, and you're gonna take 88 flavor damage. This is his last chance. He's got a lot riding on this, I counter-spell.

And that's what I was gonna say! Oh, okay, you do it, cool. This is a spell, yes, so you counter-spell it? Yeah, hell yeah, awesome. Wow, that's so cute. Your new friends both race to counter-spe spell at the same time. I love you guys Do you want to do a roll off to see who counterspells? Sure

Knuckle roll two. I got a net one. I got 13. I only got an 11 so I guess that means Jen's got to do it Yeah, no, but I just sort of postured like I did Hi, are you Gounder Spells? No, but I just sort of postured like I did. I'm poison, so all I have right now is spells, so I would appreciate it if you all let me counter spell. Yeah. Awesome, so yeah, Onyx Saviour Slot, Jen's counter spells, and that brings us to a layer action.

You do see that the leader of the band climbs up out of his stupor and says, How about a fan favorite for everybody? Woo! And he hits with his last gasp of life before he faints again. He hits a button on the audio system and you hear a song starts playing. And it goes, off of the Gensokot and I grumps, he put a spear right through my rumps, stabbed in the face and tossed in the dumps,

I lost my life to cut and I grumped. This is Wilton's jam, not yours. How dare you use this song for evil! The song is for farting. You see that as Katenai Grumpch, the hit orkish song plays, the pseudopods slam in rhythm. I need everyone to roll 3d8s. Ooh. And tell me what numbers you get. 8, 3, 6. Okay. 3, 7, 1.

Ooh. I got 3, 5, and 2. Okay. I got 6, seven, and eight. All right, I'm gonna roll for the silverback as well. Another three, another five, awesome, cool. So the way this works is the amount of numbers you've gotten common are damaged that you do to the cake because you were all dancing and singing. So looks like everyone except for Niaq I believe got a three so you do 12 damage

to the cake. Niyak you're going to take 12 damage but you deal 12 damage to the cake. Okay nice ow. And Niyak that brings us to your turn. Okay I'm going to cast two more flaming arrows at this cake. Do it up. Oh, my sad god. Oh, my bad god. Oh, shout out to the two crew and also a net one. So, that is me. So... UGH! Um... That... UGH! Uh...

Is... Me! I... Dance the Cotton I Gromp! Uh, the Silverback looks so sad, And I am also... Sad myself. Um, alright, that brings us back around to Wilton.

Okay! Uh, I'm going to... Attack the cake recklessly again. 29 to hit. Hits the cake recklessly again 29 to hit hits the cake I'm gonna try and scare the cake again Scared the cake So it has to make another wisdom saving throw okay It's gonna fail, but it does use its legendary resistance.

Okay, burn through those so that it doesn't fail. And I do 23 damage. Oh, okay, great. And then I'm gonna attack again. That's a nat 20. Whoa! Oh, baby. So because I am a barbarian I do have brutal critical and because I'm using the

half-orc template for this awakened gorilla character I believe I also get extra critical dice from that so I'm going to I get to roll two extra D8 and since I crit yeah I'll use my final superiority die as well. Nice. Nice. 34 damage. Woo! Woo! And I'm going to one more time with this crit try and scare the cake. Make it roll another wisdom saving throw. It passes. Okay.

I did some good damage to it, and once again, the party goes, surround it, and basically, like, form a ring around the cake, where the only thing to attack is me, or it will take disadvantage. Awesome. That is the Silverbacks turn. You see that the cake is leaking this like disgusting red goo all over. It seems like it's more or less on-depth door.

The Silverback notices this and sees if they can take it out. You got this, Haven. I missus on the first attack. Crits on the second attack. Nice. Hell yeah. That's too crits for the Silverback. Hell yeah. That is going to be another Jesus Christ.

Tindy eight. That's so strong. Yeah. So strong the Silverback. That's why he opens the stores. The best use of his incredible archery skills. Um. The Silverback pulls back this

glistening silver arrow and then thanks for a moment and says you know what I'm an old man. It's time for the kids to have fun on the dance floor. Nyak. Oh my god. Get over here. Beautiful. Even though I rolled a 1 and a 2. He chuckles a little bit, then puts a massive hand on your shoulder and says, at our lowest moments is when we reveal to the world how willing we are

to grow and improve. I'm going to remember that for the rest of my life. You said at our at the moments where we... No, I have to bow. Just take the goddamn bow. All right. Niac, he gives you this silver bow. And as he does, you can feel some of his divine essence flowing into you. And at the base of your neck you feel this long silver rat tail start to grow. Oh my god my mullet just got even hotter. No it's a party. You're not ready to lead yet, but I know that one day you will be.

So take this gift and do what must be done. Thank you for believing in me, for knowing that I'm even though I like to follow, I'm my own person. I'm an individual. What do you think of that Katie? I think that's pretty hot. I like oh the arrow Boom The cake explodes Bits of this red goo land everywhere Explodes, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, p towards the photo booth, which glimmers with a silver light and transforms into a vending machine,

uh, and then he bounces out of there. And with that, you have saved the day, you have prevented the silver back from being taken, and now the wedding is more or less ruined, but saved at the same time, so I guess- Well, it only- everyone being sad only lasts for a minute. Oh, okay. Oh, that's great. Yeah, so let's- Wait, how are you gonna cheer them up, brother?

There's only one way I know how. Party ape? Yes. Put on that weird song that we were just talking about that I forgot about. I hit the button. I fought against a cottonite grump, she put his beer out through my rums. That in the face and dust in the dumps,

I lost my large cottonite grumps. Ooh, now take that sword. Now it's meeing it around. Now cut that hand, right off that arm. Whoa. Now dance in blood. Now drink the blood. Ooh, it's a song.

It's a song for orcs. I dance invisibly with my inflated, my re-inflated, sexophone. I dance with all of my spectral partyers. I dance with a grandma. Some of them help. I also sort of dance mop the cake up off the floor. And I do, I do a Kod and-eyed Joe dance, but like a sexy version.

Like when people put their own spin on like the national anthem, I do that, but to the cotton-eyed Joe dance. Is there any other way to dance to that song? It's a sexy-ass dance. Yeah, true. We'll put their own spin on the national anthem. Well, they do.

They like, they're not your right. It's just funny. You know what I mean? They put a spin, they do, they like. It's not your right. It's just funny. You know what I mean? They put a spin on it. I enjoyed it. Niaq, you do see that Ramella, the Orchist grandmother, comes over and says, I was wrong about you. Why don't you come dance with me?

You honor me, grandmother. Oh, you're sweet. Kiss my tusk. I prefer not to. That's OK. I understand Yeah, you managed just by the skin of your teeth to save this wedding through the power of music and party promotion Hashtag party eight I think so many pictures and post them

Hashtagging the party ape to really try to make this happen for Willum Yeah, you see that everyone kind of comes to they wake out of their stupor You see Zia norrk or like hot cheese that got Pretty dicey for a second there. Thank you once again for saving our butts, you know Yeah, damn that's the last time I hire a bunch of caterers that I find an okay, fuck me. Yeah. Yeah, it seemed a little too good to be true

in retrospect. I guess they weren't working for coin. Oh, now that the cake has been defeated, I would like to steal its soul using my reaction. So you have a tiny cake in prison. Yeah. Nice. Absolutely. Nice. Absolutely.

Nice. Very cool. That's what Tritaville's all about. I forgot. I'm super poisons, Gen Pobits. Oh, can I cast? Does greater restoration do anything? Oh, yeah.

You see that the silverbacks, like, oh, I got that. Don't worry about it. He cast a greater restoration on everyone that was poisoned. I was also, no, that's Bell Haven. Oh, no, it's fine. It's fine. I got that don't worry about it. He cast a greater restoration on everyone that was poison everyone that was know that spell haven't oh I don't know no as you said are somebody fucking heal me. Yeah, I throw up on both of your shoes Nia you know as the future silverback I've chosen my successor Please by all means I Give Jen's mouth to mouth unnecessarily and I cast a

restoration. Oh, take a pic of that. Take a pic of that. I'm just hurling as you as you give me mouth to mouth. Don't want to give mouth to mouth to someone having a vomiting fit. What are you doing? I just just dance mop over too. What is going great?

Hashtag party at MCMOP so much. I'm just going to over too What is going great? Hashtag party at NC mop so much. I don't Mopster of ceremonies is what it's right I really should have researched this job. I just wanted to party. I just wanted to party from my job Wilton, why don't you give me a persuasion role to see how the party A-Pash tag is doing. Oh gosh, persuasion is not.

You still have, uh, party. Oh, I still have the intspo. Yeah. All right, let's see. Oh gosh. Oh. Can I give them an advantage? Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'll give you the help. Thank you. What if he did a takeover of my Instagram so he could use my persuasion? Oh, whoa. Because I have plus 10 to persuasion. That's very generous. You have plus 10 to persuasion?

Mm-hmm. Uh, then that's 30 if I'm using that. Nice. The advantage plus the inspiration plus your plus 10 and not my minus one made it 30. I love that your party plan with minus one persuasion. Like you can't even, you're worse at convincing people to get on the dance floor than the average person.

I mainly use intimidation. If you just, if you just grabbed a person off the street, they would be better at getting the party started. Listen, it's never too late to follow your dreams, even if you're bad. You do see that with Onyx's takeover, party ape has arrived. Everyone is doing the party ape. Everyone is pulling out inflatable saxophones in opportune moments. You just got a blue check mark. We've made it now buddy. You're verified party ape. Yeah you see that you get verified in this moment and your future career as a master of ceremonies.

I guess party persona, what exactly are you? It's party ape is a lifestyle now. I'm an influencer. I bring the party wherever I go. Just don't sell vitamins. Oh dear I'm very concerned that we actually didn't teach him any stupid people is made me to their parties and just my my presence the parties Get even better. I am the party ape I'll never forget you my friends. I'll never forget this day nor walk Z this is a special day for you but I'd go so far to say is it's an even more special day for me this is your

day will thank you don't you don't you ever forget it this is your day we we've been actually saying that this is your day this is your day honestly I'm I'm embarrassed that we had a wedding on what is really your day. It was downright root of us. So yeah, now that our wedding has been consecrated by the birth of the party ape, Nyak, Jins, Onyxam, what are you going to do next? We need the flame, I think. We need to split it in twain. Split it in twain. Yeah, we like to split the flame in twain. Yes.

And not talking about Shania. Why don't you all give me... But we should play some Shania right now. Dan and Wayne. As you are thinking about how to split the flame in twain and playing Shania, everyone give me a perception check. See if Shania inspires you. 13.

19. Great. 24. Whoa. What? I finally wrote good Nyak with your new Silverback abilities

You were able to keenly spot that the rings on Norwalkin's hands still have like a slight Flickering flame glow to the metal Okay, we need to get them divorced like us. I know this is a symbol of your unity, but we need you both of your rings unfortunately. If you want us to just touch the egg, should we just try touching the egg?

Oh, I would think it'd be working better if I just seduced both of you. Could we just have your rings? Yeah, absolutely not. We'll give you the egg. We'll give you cash. I pull out $25. Whoa, my brother's loaded.

Don't try to bribe me on party eight day. This is a special day. This is the day the party eight was born. The day was born. Just give us the, just give me the egg. Okay, okay, take the egg. But you know, option B is I seduced both of you. Or maybe later we'll see.

Okay. I ain't saying no. That's why I love you, babe. So you hand over the egg to a Norwalk in Z and they touch their hands on it together And as they do you see their rings Ignite with fire and cracks appear in the egg not enough to break it But just a few cracks begin to sliver into the egg. I see the cracks and I get my mop ready That's why you're the party. Yeah, always ready with a mop for a party.

I know what parties are about. And as these cracks form, there's this golden flash of light. And once your eyes adjust, you see that you're still in the colosseum, but now it's in full use. A huge crowd, including the Doss and the Larr, watch and cheer as Leont and a fearsome orc warrior do battle. Sparks fly as their swords clash and the very earth shakes.

For a while it seems like Leont has the upper hand. She parries, then kicks the orc sword out of her hand and prepares to deliver a finishing blow. However, instead of surrendering, the orc grabs one of her tusks, rips it out of her mouth and uses it to block the sword. Leont yelps in shock. Ah, that's so metal! In that moment, the orc sweeps in close and uppercuts the God of War,

sending her sprawling to the ground. The crowd erupts. After a moment, Leon stands, wipes the fiery blood from her lip and bows. She then lifts the Ork Champion's arm, presenting your new hero, Daggerast! The cheering resumes. Presenting your new hero, Daggerast! The cheering resumes. She nods to Mendos and the law who begin casting a spell.

From the ground you see a familiar copper cup emerge. Leont and the Orc then stand over the cup and do the most muscular predator handshake you've ever seen. Fire erupts from the cup and bathes the two in the flames. Both their eyes light with fire and they smile. In the crowd, Nadasa Nalar French for three minutes. Onyx watches. Onyx the glay. As you witness this scene, you hear the little crystal friends whisper in your ear. As the gods share their magic and pour their love into others, our power grew in secrets. Soon, with your help, we can stand against the imbalance of this world,

and usher in a new golden era. And Matt is where we will end our session. Woo! Oh, wow. Wow, wow. Well done, Donkey. I'm going to go to the next one. Woo! Wow, we! Happy party, ape day to all of you. Happy party, ape day, all of me.

I love the energy of just somebody's super nervous, waiting for their opportunity at somebody else's wedding. Yeah, this is the first time that someone has usurped a wedding successfully. Yeah. Yeah. It's really worked out for the party, Abe. Yeah.

Couldn't have done it without you guys. Nathan, thank you so, so much for joining us. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Yes, thank you. Thank you as well. I have some quick shout outs before we properly thank our friend Nathan.

I want to shout out Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription. Trevor Lyon for producing and Daniel Ramos for sound mixing and music. You can find Trevor on Twitter at Lyon at large. You can find Daniel on Instagram at Dr. Schubert and at Schubert's on Twitter. Thanks as well to Kay Matsuo for helping on this episode and all the episodes. You can find them at night sharks with two S's on Twitter. And thanks as well to Kay Matsuo for helping on this episode and all the episodes.

You can find them at night sharks with two S's on Twitter. And thanks as well to Yins Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode. Yins was also at the wedding, but they were outback vaping with crapsters. So you didn't see him. Wow. Cool. As long as DJ wasn't there. Yeah. DJ is a bad influence. DJ is still passed out in the bathroom trailer as he should be. But yes, it has come time to thank our friend Nathan so much for joining us. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

I love Wilton. Wilton was a treat. Is there anything you want to plug on this episode? You know, pay your caterers six beers. At least six beers minimum. It actually is very fortuitous that this episode comes out when it does because I believe this is going to be coming out on a, on either the day of or the day after. We launch Drophie's Patreon.

Ooh! Yeah. Congratulations. Hell yeah. Yeah. Where can people find that other than Patreon? It's patreon.com slash Drophie. You can also, I probably, you are going to be tweeting about it.

So you can also just go to my Twitter, at, at, Nathan Yaffe, and see me tweeting about it because I need that money. Okay. Okay. Nathan needs the money so he can legally change his Twitter handle to at party ape. Yes.

I'll fucking join for that. You have to buy it from Funky Kong. I need to be able to pay my staff in the beer's minimum beer wage. So, support minimum beers. So yeah, patreon.com slash Drawfee, please go subscribe. You're going to love all the videos you see.

It's a great group of friends over there. Yeah. And speaking of Patreon, check out our Patreon as well. If you want to hear a short rest about this episode, you can do that at patreon.com slash nad pod. Please don't sing yet. Please, please, please, please, please. I would like to thank my nieces and nephews, aka nibblings,

which is a word I learned. It's a real word. That actually means nieces and nephews aka nibblings, which is a word I learned. It's a real word. That actually means nieces and nephews. Is it, are you legally allowed to say that? It doesn't sound like I should be, huh? Yeah, I want to unlearn it. I wish I never knew that. Seems do you see.

But you can find them all on Twitter at CH Murphy's Murf at eaxford is Emily at Jake Hurwitz's Jake at Nathan Yaffe is Nathan. Yeah, I'm going to be sick. We are we are. I guess I'm at call the even after niblings. I just don't know. I wish the world a live. You can tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's in a DDPOD. Come on, my little niblings. Let's all join in. We are. We are the VR!

We are the VR! We are the VR! We are the VR! We are the VR! The nibblings of the nibblings. Send the nibblings. Love you all. It's the end of the show, everybody.

And that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Yes, I swear. Starting with Jeffrey S, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, Brad D, Cutter W, and Danielle the Dastardly game a crew of rowdy aunts and uncles that absolutely tore up the dance floor during the the cupid shuffle. You love to see it. Next up we got Danny P, Dylan B, Elena C, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and John S. A.K. Schubert the Mushroom, the rich family members who gifted Norwalk and Z expensive plus three Borepal Swords and made the rest of the wedding guests look like shit. Jordan D.J. Scott D. Adam R. Mixologist Michael McDee, Balnor's boy and

Jive G. The grandparents who were incredibly offended by Jens, uh, sexy dance, but even more offended by Niaq trying to talk to them. Justin I. Alaina M. Jacob C. Daniel R. Cyborg version of Josh the co-bold and T.J.M. the known barbarian, the gnome tinkers who designed the wedding favors. The centerpieces had the power to transform into giant techno-mechs. Too bad it didn't come up! Destiny Sea, trailer the cray-fay, Sergio Salazar Salaman, Sakurai-Stasekwani, Kelvin Noodles

and Michael L, a bunch of sentient inflatable saxophones, strangely enough they are more powerful when they're deflated. Alex was right. Richard X Machina, trust the traveler, Jory S. and Ryan, the camp friends who are ready to turn on Retrieval Team 22, if they didn't take a cool enough picture. But luckily, they got a good one, and that's what all good friendships are founded on.

Troy McSee, Strange, strange, right? Deliver that. Troy McSey, Mike H. Nicholas C. Sam L. and Samuel B. The B team, waiting guests who weren't invited because too many people RSVP'd yes. Luckily for them though,

the only thing they missed was being attacked by a giant cake and thrown into a magical depression. Jololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol Andrew B. Reese NS, Eric and Andrea B. Kaley E. and Jordan L. Wilton's competitors, the Fiesta Chimps, who've planned some of the most successful weddings, coronations and graduation parties in all of Trinny Vale. Matt M. Barnes & Adder, C.C. Lulu, Jared E. J. and Talith X. Onyxism and Ashery Keepers, they make sure all the craps, stollen soles, cool parasites, and cakes get fed and bathed. Christopher B, Dana G, Joe McGee, Persephone, AidenrH, and Austin C, Jens' backup dancers

who are waiting all day for the call to show up, it never came. Eric G, Aaron S, Lucas B, Luke H, and Timmy R. The bakers who baked the poisonous cake. Their yell reviews are plummeting. Zach C. Devon W. Michelle O. and Dan the entourage of the silverback if Nyak hadn't rolled that one and two back to back they might have invited him to hang. Ombry M. Maxwell C. Mike K. Steven C. and Nikki W, a band that plays only inflatable instruments. How does that work, you may ask? Well, Trinnyvail's pretty fucking magic, so it's mostly a lot of minor illusion and a little

bit of Otto's irresistible dance. Grace G, Karen T, Shane B, Kevin M, Mateo C, and Raoul N, caterers at Z's wedding who were bravely out taking a smoke break when the rest of their co-workers attacked retrieval team 22, heroes. Maribel the Kitty Morphing gnome, Angel B, Esmi M, I am the atlas, Michael C, Nicholas P, the owners of Party Ape City, a business that sells only inflatable saxophones. Party Ape alone is keeping them in business. Robert F. Atticusy, Kazemir the all-knowing and meta-amps, the wedding band, though they

eventually attacked Retrieval team 22. They also played a mix of old and new songs that delighted and titillated the entire wedding. Chris R. Michael K. M. Panama James, Eric McD, Nathaniel P. and Rebecca O. A crew of Norwalks buddies that got so wasted at the bachelor party that they never made it to the wedding. In fact, several of them are still missing. Nick L. Jack L. Y. Greck 32, temporal, burlety, and Christian A, the fun cousins who took over the dance floor after the cake fight and delighted the crowd by forming large dance circles and doing the worm. J. Dragamborn, Jonathan O, Michael M, the Red Rain and Drew Nasty, the party ape staff who never made it to the wedding because the party ape forgot to call them or schedule them.

It's the easiest but lowest paying job they've ever had. K.J., Hordeofo, Dave H. and Feldonis, DJ's buddies who helped him bust out windows in the parking lot. They're currently all in the drunk tank and DJ has forgotten to build them out. Grant, Adrian, the Halfling bard, Eric B, John HN and Adam G, a couple of caters who got so sick off of DJ's vape that they missed the fight. Unfortunately, this also means that they missed out on their meager payment of 5 beers. New York, Nick W. Ryan W. Axel A. Christian S. and David T. The team of cleaners, it's

going to take to straighten up the triple at total room. They literally invited the full wedding to crash at their place for some reason. Captain S, Shadow, Ben A, Douglas A, Nathan and Big Bad John. The party apes backup dancers. They will straight up grind up on your family and pop novelty eyeglasses on them. You can truly count on them to get any dance floor bumping. Britney B, Emilio D, Frankie K, Keith K, The Undead Incinerator, and Cody B, Z's Camp Friends. They were mostly a big hit at the wedding, but once they started telling camp stories

and singing camp songs, people kind of quietly left them alone to do their thing. Felix F, David K, Pipes H, Richard J.M, Austin S, and Fattie Daddy 187, Katie's other parasite friends. And actually, they all need a ride to the mall. Are you doing anything? Well, if it's just work, you could call and sick, right? Because they need a ride. No, you can't shop too, but you can wait in the car to bring them home, okay? Thanks.

Christina B. Pork Chop. Raphael O. Sean W. Sircad Van and the Sundran. The owners of Volvo Station Wagon, that DJ also trashed in the parking lot. Worst part is everyone is blaming Sircad Van, which is super not fair. Chanel M. Hannah W. Alice, depressed demon hunter. Crunch and Patrick B. The wedding band who was definitely not intending on playing a 9-minute version of Mamba No. 5, but when Norwalk and Z star making out on the dance floor, you kind of just gotta keep playing that jam until it's over.

And that's it for this week. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our benevolent counsel of elders. All of us, hospitality. You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to the short rest and we'll be back next week with another episode. We'll catch you guys later. Thank you, ladies. That was a Hate Gum podcast.