Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 2: Sunken Secrets

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

The Trinyvale adventure continue as Retrieval Team 22 heads to the open sea in search of the the second Ginnarak crystal. Jens perfects a sentimental dance move, Onyx makes a new friend and Nyack gets increasingly stickier. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Trinyvale is produced by Marissa Melnyk (@MarsMel)Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (www.TheDanielRamos.com)Trinyvale Intro and Outro music composed by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinneville. But wash over me. A world where secrets hide in plain sight. Ancient trees grow side-by-side with arcane spires. And halflings can drink nearly twice their weight in margaritas. It is a true adventurers paradise. And speaking of paradise, today's story finds the Motley members of Retrieval Team 22 headed to the pristine sandy beaches of the Weasern coast, where Blav and Blanfoot, the loyal representative of the elusive benefactor, awaits themav and Blanfoot, the loyal representative of the elusive Benefactor, awaits them with a brand new mission and a two-day old

hangover. Once there, the team boards a beautiful, gilded sloop and sails deep into the turquoise tinted waters of the seldon sea, in search of their second-generact crystal. Will our heroes uncover the mysteries of the deep or will they piss off a mermaid and get eaten by her pet whale? Ha ha ha ha! Only time will tell.

And so, without further ado, let's rejoin our heroes and begin chapter two of the Trinavale Adventure. Woo hoo hoo hoo! I am excited to do a water adventure. I am. I am. I am. I am. Real to be honest, loop. I got a lot more excited. I am thrilled to be on a slupe. I have never even heard that word.

I did go to the pdf for boats. There's a lot of fun stuff to be found. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Niac doesn't trust the sea. Yeah, wait, just right up top. How is Niac feeling about being on a boat? It is wet and I can't see the bottom of where we are.

I feel like Jens is telling lies to nia act to kind of fuck with them Yeah, you know there are actually very angry gorillas that live in the sea that hate land gorillas really mermaid gorillas Alex also doesn't know so she believes that Yes, yes, this is my first time on the sea. Yeah, they should all be very I should probably hold me brother I wish to see angry gorilla. I'd like to read hugs you really tightly. I would like to do a slight a hand and try to steal a little bit of money from Nia. Go for it.

I would like to do a slight of hand to join the hug. All right, great. That is a with my new expertise at level three. That is a 24. 24? Do I roll something to you? Do you do perception, right? Yeah, I guess so.

Pretty much. I got an 18 to join the hug without causing a fuss. You successfully joined the hug, bus three. Nihac is, he has a negative two to perception. And he trusts his brother very much. He lets his guard down. I just want to grab one piece of gold. All right, you grab one piece of gold.

Now, I think you were way too seasick to even know what's going on. You're all puking over the side. I just want to say that I joined the hug, no one noticed, but I felt the warmth of a hug without having to give any warmth. And it's a warm day. So like you're feeling pretty, pretty toasty out.

So you got to put on some sunscreen. I feel bad outside of character of watching you a race and a piece of gold on your character sheet. Money is nothing to nia. Jins is definitely winning the gold race. I only collect honor. Should I roll to see if I noticed him stealing? Yeah, that's a good idea.

What would it be? Perception as well, yeah. Eh, 13. 13. I've seen nothing. You might have seen it, but thought better of it. I've been like, no. My brother's handed my pocket, but you just thought that's our relationship. I don't know how brothers work on this plane.

Hey, should we maybe actually introduce ourselves? Yes, of course. Yes, hello friends. Welcome back to the table. I'm your dungeon master, Coldwell Tanner. Joining me as always, uh, who wants to introduce themselves first? Should we roll for it again? Okay. All right cool. I like that 17 17 5 6 all right on X Lumiere Concierge of the crystal and she for whom the the pansewt beckons. Oh, are you wearing the pansewt even on the boat?

Um, yeah. Great. And I also saw from my notes that the pansewt is tie-died in blood and margarita. Absolutely. So I just want to point that out. Yeah, I'm going to, so kind of like a red, orange yellow tie-dye situation.

Yeah. That looks pretty good. But pastel, because on me everything becomes pastel. It's faded a little bit. Perfect. I believe Jens was next. Yes. Jens Lindell, high elf bard, sword dancer. Master of several dance moves.

Sword of the dance. Not the Lord of the, the sword lord of the dance. Sword lord. Sword lord. Sword lord of dance. I love it. And of course, Niaq. Niaq of the Renafor Valley,

Jen's baby brother. Sweet little baby. Sweet baby brother. You know, you're good to say little brother. I would like to go and have to say, baby, I don't have to call yourself a baby. I would like, when he calls himself my baby brother, I would like to slip the gold piece back in his pants. See, you put your gold piece back in his pants.

I will make you roll. Brother, you honor me. Gold brother. Yeah, it's good. You've been, you put your gold back in. I will make you roll. Brother, you honor me. Gold bread. Yeah, it's good. You've been, you know, I know you're scared of the whole lot. Gold from your own pockets.

I now have 11 pieces of gold. Yeah. You might want to recount that. I think you might have, you actually dropped that. Well, that's the adventure. It's just shenanigans on a boat. We're going to be passing around gold and drinking a little bit.

No actual question. Hey, Has Blavin told us about mermaids? Um, would you like him to? Let's just have him. What's going on, Blavin? Well, actually, before we get to the good times on the SS Blavin, I think we should do a quick recap of what happened on our last quest. Cool.

Set things up. How does that sound? That's great. I forgot. Last month at the behest of your employer, an idigmatic figure known only as the benefactor, you three venture deep into the Taminow Forest to recover one of the five lost, Ginniract crystals.

Well, actually first you drink chicken wine with the benefactor's servant, Blavyn Blanford, and then you ventured into the forest. After walking for a bit, you encountered a large ravine and a bunch of gnomes on a zipline. Thanks to some quick genitalia obscuring dance moves from gins and onyx, you were able to cross to the other side and find your way to the dragon mouth cavern. It was here you got the sense that perhaps you were being followed. But after some fruitless perception checks you decided to press onward. Using the newly discovered drill capabilities of

a toy unicorn obsidian, Odex was able to discover an underground river which you all used to sneak into the cavern. Upon arriving, you quickly murdered several cobalt having a job interview. And then made your way to the chamber where the Gennered Act crystal was housed. Much to the chagrin of his half-brother,

Niaq then dashed right for the crystal and plucked it from its pedestal, instantly triggering an alarm. You all then came face to face with Band-Off, a pantsuit-clad business lizard with a rocket launcher. After a brief employee review, you all decided that Band-Off wasn't working out for the company and decided to let her go. Permanently. And so, with Crystal in hand, you teleported back to Pappa Ggumps Jamble Eye Jam Marine for last call with Blavin. After closing down the bar, you then encountered a mysterious figure named Z, who sealed your calling coins in a magic bottle, and then handed you a note that said,

great work retrieving the crystal. Keep it up, your number one fan, Z. PS, the benefactor, is in the only one that's watching. And so that brings us to right now. It's been about a month since the Dragon Mouth encounter and you're now skimming through the crystal clear water of the Salden Sea aboard a gilded slope enchanted with custom Vain-Alorean wind spells. An old human pilots the ship as Blavin fiddles with something in the small cabin below. As you head towards your destination I have two questions for you.

Number one, did you tell Blavin about your encounter with Z about your coins being trapped in that enchanted jar and this mysterious figure handing you a note? Likely not. I think no. No, no, okay. Then Blavin has no idea what is transpired. No one blabbed to Blavin.

No one blabbed to Blavin. Yeah, maybe we told him, but he was so black out drunk that he doesn't remember. He's got a beard. Yeah, Blabbed to Blavin. No one blabbed to Blavin. Yeah, maybe we told him, but he was so blackout drunk that he doesn't remember. He's got a beard. Yeah, Blabbed and Blavin doesn't have much of a memory. Blackout Blavin was definitely his nickname and college. Second question.

Do you want a my tie or a darkened stormy? Because Blavin's got the ingredients for either. Darkened stormy? Darkened stormy for you? Yes, of course. I'll take a my tie. My tie, yes, all right. I can't keep anything down. I'm very seasick. OK, of course. Take a my tag my tie. Yes. All right. I can't keep anything down

I'm very seasick. Okay, maybe maybe just some maybe just some celtzer water for you then yes. I immediately puked I trust not the wavy blue ground Sluper sluper. Can you clean that up please? Lavin gestures to the the pilot of the boat Which is an old man named sluper and sllooper comes over and starts mopping up the mess that you made. The same. Slooper, you're the captain, and they make you clean up.

Oh, Slooper do just about everything around here. I'm so sorry, Slooper. It's OK, you know what? I shaved myself. Hey, time's tough. I get a pretty penny for doing this for all Mr. Blavin. Slooper, do you need a crew, man? This is terrible.

I get along just fine. It's just a little slupe Now like it's a four yada something true to I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen slupe, but please continue piloting the boat. We're getting off track I have a mission to brief these individuals on we are today is all about business with a little bit of pleasure Blavin takes a big sip of his my tie. But as he does it, the umbrella gets kind of stuck in his nose a little bit and then he kind of pushes it aside with his tongue. Please pace yourself. The slupes, magic sails, strain against invisible winds as you plow deeper into the sparkling waters of the salton sea.

Far to the east, you can see the crackling plumes of Vainelar, as well as the clockwork lighthouse that marks the entrance to the Benefactors' Artificial Island Manor. As you sip your drinks, Blavin adjusts his emerald green swim trunks and briefs you on your mission. Could you put on pants for this? I cannot. I have a light-fitting robe, a tady cloth robe. I could wear that if you prefer.

Hey, you would. Yeah. Blavin puts on the robe, his nipples are still exposed. You know what? Fine. Blavin scratches his pudgy little halfling belly as he briefs you on the mission. I feel like you bought all these clothes much, much long before you gained this much weight. You're bathing suit won't tie. These are fresh off that I bought these yesterday Do you know if you did like a dry January you'd probably lose a lot of weight

A dry January, what does that mean? Oh, I mean like a month without alcohol I'm sorry January is what we call it on the moon What's the mission, Blavin? Our sensors recently detected the presence of another Ginnarak crystal, deep in the ruins of a former temple of Nullar, located on the smoldering continent itself. After researching the city manifest, we discovered that a crew of Nullarian monks had been exploring this very region and asked them to retrieve it for us.

The crew was successful, but on their way home we lost contact. We assumed their ship, the SS Sunkiller, encountered some sort of conflict and was sank, but we can't be certain. Luckily a powerful relic like the Ginnarak Crystal gives off a faint but unique energy signature. And so after a week of searching we were able to finally pinpoint its last known location, which is right here. Blavin signals for the old pilot to stop. The ship skids to an impossibly fast halt and begins swaying gently.

After a moment, Blavin gives a signal, the old pilot nods and throws a lever. Suddenly, the entire ocean begins trembling. And without warning, an enormous octagonal platform emerges from beneath the waves. You are right not to trust these watery grounds. I told you, brother. No, I, I must be barfig like crazy. Give me a constitution roll. Oh, that's a three. That's a three. Oh, you are empty. Yeah. It's all a bile at this point.

I'm dry heaving. Get this guy some peteolite. I'm sorry, captain. You see that the ship is now docked on this platform, which rises upwards into the sky. Blavin points to a huge bank of clouds and continues his briefing. We will soon arrive in the Seeru Cloudlands. Once there, your mission is to investigate the sunken wreckage of the airship known as the SS Sunkiller, and ascertain the whereabouts of this Ginerak crystal.

He holds up another drawing of a purple crystal. Astral clouds and Milky Star swim within the confines of the gym. Also in the corner of the page, Blavin seems to have been practicing a signature a few times. Which one of these do you prefer? I think the swoosh, you want, is my favorite. I don't think anyone is going to ask you to sign anything, Blavin. I like the all caps one. We all caps one.

Yeah, it's going to be a full-time. Devastating detail of your life, Blavin. I sign my checks with that one, so please don't use that one. Oh, that one that has a little smiley face for the eye. Yes, but the little smiley face. I like to keep a professional when I do the bank of Nalar. Naya, you're getting mean. I'm really impressed with you lately. I dislike this water, this man. As the platform continues to extend upward, Blavin stashes the drawing and looks at his watch.

Hmm, I thought that briefing would take longer. Hi, oh. Blavin takes a long sip of his drink and awkwardly looks off into the distance. He's clearly trying to think of something to say, but nothing is coming to him. While he does this, the pilot looks up from his work and shouts at eugins.

Hey, you there, you look real familiar. You would not be Las Lake Lindell's boy, would you? and shout at you, Jens. Hey, you there. You look real familiar. You would not be Laslik Lindell's boy, would you? I would be. Wait, hang on. No, you tell me. And I do a dance where I move my blades so fast that you can't see that I have removed my pants,

but they fall off after I do a spinning blade move. Oh, the effervescent pants. Yeah. Wow, the vanishing pants. Whoa, the old vanishing pants. Oh, yeah, Lazl, you used to do that old time. I used to love this act when I was a kid. My brother has the hottest moves on it.

Honestly, Jen, it's kind of rude that you are so judgmental of blavin' being so nude when you are so inclined to such... No, I'm toned. He's doing it as part of an act. Blavin's just putting himself out on display. It's a different time to stay. You know what, Captain, you really deserve a crew.

Yeah, he's a showman. Yes, you're smart. Say that, Jens, Mr. Linda, whatever happened to you, Pop? Who, well, he did what I call the final bow. Oh, no. Yes, he was murdered. Murder? During a duel.

A duel? Yes, yes. He won the duel. He had his enemy finished, but the foul barbarian killed him while he was doing his finishing dance. Oh, goodness. Yes. His fatality dance, doing his finishing dance. Oh my goodness. Yes. His fatality dance, as we call it.

What a cruel, what a cruel encounter. A cruel duel, if you will. Oh no. That's bad news, Mr. Lindell. I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to bring up such rotten memories. The silver lining here is that it freed Jens' mother to meet my father and now I miss his brother. Oh, that's very lovely. Thank you, Kevin. The whole of her lining here is that it freed Jens' mother to meet my father and now I miss you almost.

I miss baby brother. Oh, that's very lovely. Thank you, God. I'm so happy to see that. Just two brothers, just two peas in a pod. Half strangers. Two peas in a pod and then book this. Every pod's got to have a shelf.

I am the shelf. This is my brother's roommate. When I have roommates, she's living at my house. You all bring this together. You have to pay rent to be a roommate. Jen's owes me big time. So I'm really milking it. Man, I'm doing it.

He's a fat utter and I am making myself a big ol' butt of milk. Excuse you. She's done wonders for the place. She decorates very well. There's crystals everywhere. Crystal's here. You're gonna love them salt crystals?

Is it supposed to purify the air? Yes, the air is so pure. Oh, I'd love to come over and, you know, maybe drink a bottle or two a one and just hang out, cook some chicken. Okay, I don't know if I would let a drunk person cook chicken, but I'm open to it. All right, you know, we will exchange numbers

if things go well up there. Everyone that works for the benefactor is such a lush. You know, it's just my default. So Sluper reaches his hand out to shake your handgins. He's honored to meet the son of Lazzaclindale. As he extends his hand, the platform grinds to a halt right next to an enormous cloud bank, and you arrive in the Seeru cloud lands.

As you survey the bone-white hills of this vaporous continent, you notice something amiss. The Cloudlands have been scarred by a long snowy trail that culminates in the partially submerged remains of a large, gleaming airship. Blavyn slurps down the rest of his my tie and gestures towards the ship. Time to get Kraken Gang.

The scar's the limit. God to get Kraken Gang, the scars, the limit. God damn it, black. As he says this, Blavin also pukes. What? You were sick the whole time? I had a very bad constitution role. Yeah, you, wow. Sluper notices this and grabs a mop for himself and a bucket for Blavin. You need not to base yourself honorable captain.

That's all right, all the days weren't for Old Sluper. So, trusting in Sluper's hospice, you tossed down a rope ladder and descend into the swirling pearly land mass below. To your surprise, the ground underneath is totally solid. Finally. What do you do? But it's snowy? It's, I would describe it as like, you know what it's like?

It's like a boulder that you've put a sleeping bag over. So it's got like a little bit of cushion, but it's still hard. I'm gonna put on my Ugg boots just in case. That's smart. Yeah. Did you bring enough for everyone? No, I know.

Okay. But you are where it's a fashionable Ugg boots. Sorry, these are expensive. I've got some fleece lined high heels. Okay, but you are where it's a fashionable. Sorry, these are expensive. I've got some fleeced lined high heels Okay, great and Nyax still barefoot. I do not own shoes How does it feel on your feet? It feels like a sleeping bag covering a boulder. I also got to get obsidian into his little Into his snow suit, so that's gonna take a while does everyone have a while because it he's really hating So that's gonna take a while does everyone have a while because it he's really Hades getting a snow. Well, she's upset of city and can I do a percentage of check to see what's around.

That's a good idea. Great. Oh, not great. Anybody more perceptive than me. I'm like, I only got Nate. I'm pretty purse. Oh wait, no, I'm not. Everybody should roll regardless.

Ooh, I got 18. 18? Tell me what you see. I got a three. Yeah. I open my big beautiful eyes And survey the land. Yeah, you see clouds. You see clouds and a boat. That's about it I turned to my compatriots and I say around us. There are many clouds Wow cool

Not explored, but there's there's a boat. That's not our boat Yeah, there's the SS sun killer. Oh sweet, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Isn't that a movie? It's like every video game. Okay, don't worry about it. Go on. Alright, as you approach the boat, I am going to make a quick roll. Okay. Okay. Alright. You approach the SS Sunkiller.

On the bow of the ship, you are greeted by a slender but toned bronze statue of Nalar. His eyes are covered with cog-shaped spectacles, which gives his face a look of practiced indifference. Nalar is the god of time and the ocean and the waves and just the natural flow of things. To your left, a natural outcropping of clouds forms a ramp up to the deck of the ship. Does anyone else find the title sunkiller kind of like aggressive? I didn't think about it. Yes. I think it's got a lot of pizzazz. Can I have't think about it. Yes. I think it's got a lot of pizzazz.

Can I have a first shape? Pizzazz. If you're naming a ship, you gotta have a clever name for it. I do not. I'm just saying the sun could feel spiteful if you're going around calling your something happened to the ship and they're calling themselves the sunkiller. It is true. A little bit hubris.

That's a good point. Are there people around? Do we hear anybody, we just see a statue? The word Sun is in the title of the boat. You do see as you approach, that's fun. I just wanna point out, that's fun. That's really fun, Nick. As you approach, you do see.

You do see, I actually think that is really fun. That's actually, yeah. We're all gonna just like, well, let's take a moment to talk about how fun I am. I think that's important. I don't want to I want to rush you But I will say as you approach the boat you do see a couple of strange lumpy clouds. Okay It looks slightly different than the other clouds and you kick one. Yeah good Let's see what happens when you kick one

Let's see what happens when you kick one. You notice that this cloud is quivering slightly upon closer inspection, eyes slowly appear on the clouds. The eyes blink for a moment than the mounds unfurl to reveal four enormous moth-like creatures. As they shed their camouflage and prepare to fight, you realize these are woolly bugs. Woolly bugs.

Woolly bugs. A little fuzzy insect race who love to scavenge through abandoned airships and search of anything that glimmers or shines. Oh. As they stand, the woolly bugs long and ten-eye bristle suspiciously. They turn their huge compound eyes to face you

and begin snarling aggressively. We need to throw my glove down. Oh. Oh ho ho! Oh! This cloud is the property of Mother Mordath, the queen of the woolly bugs. Be gone! We'll face our fuzzy fury!

Nope, fuck you! I welcome your fuzzy fury. Oh, you want some of this? Yeah. We do, yes, we do not. Your fuzzy fury starts to pass through. Your fuzzy fury starts to pass through. This is all ship you gotta get out of here.

This is my ship. Between commandeered by Jens Lindell, greatest living sword dancer, beaten only by his father, whose head was chopped off by an awful barbarian, who did the final bow. We don't give a shit about your dad. Oh, I know my other club down.

You should not have said that. This need not become violent. Hold on, let me confer with my compatriots. So the woolly bugs I'll turn around and with their antennas, they kind of like, can I jump in on Tana off? Not right now. They turn back around and say,

okay, yeah, we're gonna kick your ass. Let's roll initiative. Cool. I've so many gloves. I throw a glove, one glove down. Oh throw a glove one glove down. Oh boy 16 The woolly bugs are excited because they have multiple arms so they can wear all the gloves you're throwing. Oh no Oh, I'm doing favors for them. Uh 22 from here 16 16 8 8 22 22

Boy gins welcome to the top. Hey, thanks. Nine, you said 8. Yep. Great. Nine, I don't want to fight these adorable little bugs. They do have weapons and they also have teeth, I should mention. They got big old teeth and they want to fuck you up.

You hate the sea, but you love the clouds. I love being high. Hi. Hi. Niax got jokes today. All right. Are you ready to fight some woolly bugs? Yes. All right, so, Jens, you were first.

What would you like to do? How many woolly bugs are there? There are four woolly bugs. Four woolly bugs. OK, how close are they to each other? They were all conferring by fondling each other's antennae so they are all pretty close to each other right now. Hell yeah. Would you like a new cloud friend? You stupid fucks? Yes, we love the clouds. We sleep in them. They're like a sleeping bag covered in rocks.

And then a cast cloud of daggers. Oh, which is one of my two second level spells for the day. Hopefully things will get too bad. Yeah Burnin high level slots on you. Yes burn them all right here up top in the first encounter. Yes, whatever I'm sure I'm sure everything else will go well. I need to win this duel Fight every duel like it is your last This guy looks like he's got something to prove shut up. You fight every duel like it's your last and one of them will be brother So I'm putting it right up in the middle of them. It does a five foot cube on each side So I would assume they would probably hit each of them. Yeah, they take 44 slashing damage when it enters for the first time

Where starts this turn there? So won't do anything now, but it'll do it on their turn Oh, and they're turn on their turn. Yeah, okay, so you've just like planted a cloud of daggers That's gonna attack them as soon as they move. Yes, baby. Oh, that's so menacing just being surrounded by daggers, but they haven't heard that. Yes, enjoy your turn. We give up, psych. We're going to kick your ass.

How much damage does it do? It's going to do 4d4. I can roll my ax. Oh, that'd be great. You don't have a d4 here. I guess I do. Radical. That is going to be Onyx's turn. I can roll my axe. Oh, that'd be great. You don't have a D4 here. Ah, I guess I do. Radical.

That is going to be Onyx's turn. Okay, I would like to Eldritch blast one of their antennas off. Oh, no. Okay. If you roll well, let you do it. And then that will probably give them disadvantage because they use that to see and feel. Does an 18 hit?

An 18. Oh, it certainly do. That's going to be a 14 14 14 damage 14 damage good enough little antenna okay yeah well you kill it so you can have a antenna too I'm your antenna shouldn't have made my cloud oh I put the antenna into my own ear to see if I can tune into whatever's going on What what happened to Gerald? Oh

My here's a whole shit that cratering one can't get a Gerald. This is fucked up. This is awesome It is beautiful Ruby Stay strong. There's everything will be fine roommates We're three rubies We're roommates too. We all live in a big cocoon together. Do it, do it. All of you pay rent? We sleep in goo.

It's so nice to have roomies because it's not comparable. Criter, oh, criterous one. Always something to hang out with. Yes, I sleep in room. You're a god now to these stupid clouds. Is it your turn yet clouds? I want to hurt you with my daggers. It is. Okay. Um, So it does

12 damage to each of them To each of them yes, I thought I balanced this better Jesus Christ. Okay. All right cool So you don't kill any of them great, but they're all looking pretty fucked up their antennae are all crooked and bit Okay, what are my hearing in the antenna world? What are they all saying now? Oh? Why didn't we notice those knives sooner? I thought we could trust clouds. We cannot trust clouds. Rumi. You've shattered their faith in clouds. I'm not your roommate I don't understand how can three people that live together be bad We're gonna throw us clouds. Rumi, you've shattered their faith in clouds. I'm not your Rumi. I don't understand.

How can three people that live together be bad? Okay, so now it is finally their turn. Luckily, two of them are going to fly 50 feet up into the air. Okay. So they out of range, unless you got like, Elder spies. Elder spies. I I got a lung buff Elder's blood is 120 feet. Oh, yeah

Here's what's gonna happen One wily bug spreads out there large pattern wings after a moment the pattern starts to shift and warp Everyone give me a wisdom saving Enchanting You're really terrible it's not it's pretty crazy He got this I got a six Oh, I got a seven. Uh-oh Did you get seven bad for the crew? You were all confused. Oh my god. We started off so strong And the video he got that was confused before I don't understand why it's flying higher. It's

Very baffling. Oh, here we got him now. Ooh, the Wallybug keeps kind of like swaying rhythmically. You see kind of like a roar-shack pattern in their wings. I feel quite so. This is gonna work. I think none of you can move now. Okay.

But I'm gonna need you on each of your turns to roll a E4. And if you roll a 2-3 or 4 it hits companion. If you roll a 1 it gets a really good. Oh, maybe you did balance his fight. Huh, this fucked up shit. Wait, so are we gonna like roll at the end of every turn to try and snap out of this?

Yes. I think that'll be a constitutional murder. Does that sound right? And then do they get advantage on us when they attack or anything like that? So let's just do it like y'all will make a wisdom saving throw and then you'll roll for your turn. Okay.

All right, cool. All right. So Niaq, it's time for you to roll, bud. So am I rolling my saving throw right now? Yeah, go ahead. No, you roll out at the end. Yeah, I'm the turn. All right, so I'm rolling my attack.

Oh, wait. Or a D4 or a D10? D4. OK, just going to do it. Cue, confusion race is probably different. Oh, would you get? Two. All right.

Hmm. You're going to attack your brother. Oh. I feel so strange brother. I don't know who you are right now. The bug is near your head. I think I can Johnny. I just see my headless father.

You seem disappointed in me. I can William tell this father. You need to come back and marry mom It's a 19 First time I have I mean yes Father why would you do this to me? I will say that if you get hit you're gonna snap out of here. Oh great Okay, that's six damage. Six, six, six. I feel like you're gonna respect. You're gonna respect Niaq more.

No, I was confused. I was all wrapped up after talking to the captain about my father that I just saw my headless father swinging at me. You think it was him, not me? Niaq, I feel like you probably saw Jim Sprout two big, beautiful bushy antenna. I thought he was a moth man.

So, and I still think he's a moth man. Do I try to do it? You still think he's a moth man, negative, you say? Now I say it. Ooh, hea, I'd do it. 16. 16, yep, that does it. You snap it out.

And I've been stabbed, so I'm not confused anymore. No, okay, good. I must never tell my brother what I did. Ha, ha, ha. No, okay. I must never tell my brother what I did My father came from the afterlife to stab me exactly that is exactly what happened Jins I'm I'm not proud of you in fact. I'm ashamed. How are you talking without a head father? It's spooky. Hell is spooky. That's where I am. I went out. We're doing a hell damn It's so cool. Yeah, you do cool beautiful flame dances. It's your turn. It's my turn cool

So they're way out of cloud range now. Yeah, they're a 50 feet up But one is still on the ground dancing one still on the ground dancing. Mm still on the ground dancing? Cool. I think we established that I could buy some like throwing knives or something like in between sessions. Yes. Is that cool? So I have, I'm gonna throw like a Kunai thing at him. Oh damn, are you gonna spin around on your finger first? Hell yes, I'm gonna spin around my finger. I'm gonna cut off like the edges of my underwear.

I have some sexy underwear on, some sexy briefs. And I spin to Kunai and slash my underwear and I pull it out. And then I tie it together and I put it back like this. Roll with advantage. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, I'll throw a little thing at him. Sweet. 18. 18. Y'all. Sweet. I have the hottest brother in Trinidadale.

Oh, boy. Did you take your underwear off? Yes. OK, so you're nude. No, I'm wearing pants. I put my pants back on. I got you. Oh, you pulled the under.

I got my cards besides of my briefs. Good. Pulled them out from under my pants and then tied them together with like a little flick of the wrist. Beautiful. And then put them back on. After I get.

All right. Not my fore image. For damage? For you. OK, just for. All right, great. Let's go. Oh, oh, he's dead.

Yeah. I forgot that he could help. I'd be taking a big hit. That could have nice gun. Goodbye. You can recover it, I guess. Oh, sweet. Thanks.

It's still in his body. It doesn't like disappear. Oh, I thought he was like, I thought like a cloud would turn to mist or something. No, no, no, they're real. Oh cool They're real bugs and there's a lot of goop on the ground. You've saw me this beautiful cloud I'm the murder you've done. Oh Niac fetched out of the goop for me later anything for you brother. Thank you. Niac does it immediately Onyx despite the fact that the Willy bug who was enchanting you is dead, I think you're probably still confused.

You're still a little loose. I'm still confused. So give me a roll. I got a four. A four. That is going to be, I get to choose. I would be nigh at this time. OK.

I'm in it and with my crystal flail. Oh no. Does A, oh, doesn't 11 hit. It does not. Yeah! I give you, I see you coming over, do me with your flail and I just give you an elaborate roommate handshake. I think because I'm confused,

I look like just like a drunk girl who went to see the magic mic show and I'm just like doing my flail around my head. Yeah. My dance is a little bit too. It's a bachelor at party. Now we're having fun, Ruby. And then I rolled to 12 to... 12, all that just misses.

Ha, ha, ha, okay. That's fine, I like being confused. You are a confusing person. Okay, oh, that's gonna be the woolly bugs again. Oh boy, this is fun. There's two way high up. And now they are going to dive attack. Cool.

So I'm using Eric Cockrestats if that wasn't apparent. They're going to dive straight towards the target and then hit it with a melee weapon. The attack deals an extra three, one, two, six. So let's do some rolls. Okay, I'm gonna say they are going to go after Jins has been the most hostile to them. Let's do some rolls. Okay, I'm gonna say they're going to go after... Jins has been the most hostile to them.

That totally makes sense. Naya cuz only hit his brother. Give me back my gloves. You're wearing them. That's not what they're for. They stay on the ground. I don't imagine that a seven hits. It does not.

Okay, so the first one just kind of slams into the ground past you. And they kind of like, boy, yo, yo, yo, yeah, I do a shoulder roll to the side that's sick Then let's see if the next one hits Damn bad rolls today. That's going to be a nine. That still doesn't nine does not hit no damn They both miss they just stick right to the ground with their javelins and are trying to pull them out and are just fully exposed for you to come clean up You're so dead. Uh, it is Nyax turn.

I will protect you, big baby brother. It's not about a pill. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 14 hit. Does that hit? That hits. Great. So I fired an arrow at the one that was attacking me. Yeah, they're bugs. They don't have, you know, they're soft, fuzzy bugs. Uh, eight damage.

Eight damage. That one's dead. Do you get one attacker too? I get one. Oh no, don't you, you know, they're soft, fuzzy bugs. Eight damage? Eight damage, that one's dead. Do you get one attacker too? I get one. Oh no, don't you have Horde breaker? Oh, I do, but if they're, are they within, is another thing within five feet of me? No, I'm gonna say that like they both, well, they both dived at Jin, so yeah, probably, actually.

So I can shoot another arrow at this other one? Yeah, shoot another arrow. So, oh wait, I don't even know, do I do another attack? I think I would imagine you do another attack. So I try to attack this other one that went after my big baby brother. Big baby brother. My large baby. 22.

22 hits. Yeah. All right. Nice. 11 damage. 11 damage. The woolly bugs have fallen. Oh, wait, I forgot finish him I

Plug the antenna from on X's ear and I fire it with my Tone antenna you creased it by your own antenna a closed loop Making hear themselves talking. They're just like talking to each other over and over again. They hear themselves. It drives them insane. The foam comes from their mouths and they all just melt into the goo

from which they sleep. The blood behipped without honor. Am I so confused? I think you snap out of it at this point. Yes, yes. I snap out of it doing this, but then I'm like, oh, actually, this makes a lot of sense,

and I just keep doing it. You doing this, but then I'm like, oh, actually this makes a lot of sense and I just keep doing it You look good. It looks fun Cool y'all are out of combat cool. Um, do you want to go up onto the ship? Yeah, cool I also want to can we inspect that bronze statue that we saw yeah sure cool Anybody else want to do like an investigate check on that one? I want to do an investigation check. Let's all do it together. That one. And that one.

Cool. I received a 13. 13? I did. Good. 19. Now, you are an acolyte of Nadas. So this isn't your specialty.

But I imagine. Look at this dumb ugly god. As I mentioned before, I gave it a little bit too much away before, honestly. You see they've got cogs on their eyes, that's kind of like the traditional symbol of Nalar. As you know, they're the god of time and the ocean and the flow of things. And I hate the ocean.

Do any of their followers get little clock gears tattooed on their eyelids? Like a twod of their eyelids? Sort of thing, yeah. Yeah. They do. They do do that. And they always did that. And they didn't come up with it just now. So yeah, let me, you know, as a bonus,

I'll tell you a little bit about the monks on the ship. There is kind of a sect of monks called the Nalarian monks. And they go on pilgrimages to the ancient temples of Nalar that used to exist on the continent of Genorak. Before the Artifice Wars, Genorak was kind of like one of the main areas of the world. That was kind of like where most of the life in this in this world was. So like all three of the gods existed on Genorak and kind of interacted with people and humanity. So what they do is they kind of like journey back to Gennarack and

these pilgrimages to kind of they have an honorable look at it but what they're essentially doing is looting them for artifacts and relics that they then take back to their monasteries and study and then sell. They're dumpster divers. Yeah they're kind of, would you say dumpster divers? They are holy dumpster divers There are many some people call them garbage cans. I call them treasure chest So are there monks on this ship do you want to find out? Yes, so we should let yeah, can we peek in a portal? Let's peek into a portal. Oh, you want to peek into a portal?

Yeah, okay, and then my tippy toes and peak I have give her a boost portal. Okay. And then my tippy toes and peak. I give her a boost. Which you boost just my heel so that I'm more tippy toe. Give me a give me who's speaking. Onyx. All right. Since they're helping you, you can do you can roll the advantage. Which porthole are you peaking through? Describe the portals to me. I will one moment. Cool. That's a visual. Do. Oh, great. I want to look at the portals to me. I will, one moment. I'm a visual aid. Do, oh great. I want to look at the one that's closest towards the front because I think that's where the captain would be. Good act.

Is that the act? The rear and the after. All right, give me a role first. I got advantage, right? Yeah. Okay, I got, what do I add to it? Stale investigation. Investigation.

Actually, wait. You should probably do athletics. Well, they're helping you get up. Yeah, Stealth or investigation. I should wait. You should probably do athletics. Well, they're helping you get up. Yeah, do do investigation. I got 20. You got a 20? Oh, man, y'all are. Thank God I had an advantage because I also got a one.

Wow. Well, I got, and it wasn't a natural, I got an 18 plus two. Pretty good. Man, y'all are tearing this adventure up in such fun ways. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna need a second to find my place.

Sure. Because... I'll need a second for my moon eyes to adjust to the... All right. And Jens is just like shaking, thinking of... Like, he wants to go just knock on the door and demand to speak to the captain so bad. Jens, whenever you go to a restaurant,

you speak to the manager. Yes, I need to speak to the captain. Whenever you say it, make sure that... You stay to a restaurant, you speak to the manager. Yes. I need to speak to you. Whenever you sit and make sure that you stand in a hotel, you get your room switched immediately when you walk in. Gens. Gens has never had food that wasn't spit in. All right. So let me see. Yeah. So you peeked through the captains. Yeah. You were correct. This is the captains quarters. Good. Light shines through a single porthole into the turquoise patterned wall paper of the captain's quarters. Directly on the other end of the room, the far end of the room you see a pair of severed legs wearing fancy leather boots, collapsed in a pile of dried blood.

Behind the boots is a huge jagged hole in the wall where the rooms other porthole used to be. Behind the boots is a huge jagged hole in the wall where the rooms other portal used to be. Through this opening, thick, sear-oo clouds now seep into the room like pearlescent boulders. The rest of the chamber is sparsely decorated, say for two large potted plants and a few framed prints. You can't quite make them out through the portal. You'll need to go inside to investigate. I'm not so concerned with the prints. I am be it severed legs. Also in the center of the room, there's a wooden desk upon which a deceased body is now slumped.

Another one. Describe the art to us, Onyx. Well, he has two scar face posters. Damn. Awesome. Is that you know that one where it's like all the naked ladies and they got the paintings on their butts? Yeah. That one.

Say hello to my tiny friend. So yeah, that's all you see in the room. So is the body that slumped over the desk? Is it a different body than the severed legs? Yeah, so there's one and a half dead bodies in there. One and a half dead bodies. And there's also, if we went to the other side, we'd be able to just walk right in, right?

Cause the port holes. No, you, if we went to the other side, we'd be able to just walk right in, right? Because the port holes... No, you like you can see the port hole, but like basically there's a kind of natural outcropping of clouds that would allow you to walk up to the top deck. I see. So you're kind of looking in through like the middle deck. Oh, okay. So we just go walk in the door carefully. I think so. Okay. You walk out. I have a feeling this may be a bit of a graveyard. You would not be incorrect in thinking that. This is a bit of a go-ship. Here's what you see when you enter the top deck. As you approach the deck, you see that the standard flag

has been dropped to the ground and replaced with the center's mark. A Trinvilian Washington monument. When you put your eyes around it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hell. Um, Onyx, uh, lifts her shirt and on her ribcage, she has a sinner's mark tattoo. Oh, shit. Damn. Do you like, honestly, I just saw it somewhere and I thought it was cool. Pretty cool. I went into the tattoo parlor and I said, let me look at the book and I got this.

Uh, and I said, yes, that is awesome. And, but I shut her and I'm terrified. That could be dangerous to have. You just got it out of a book. Yeah, it was either that or a butterfly. Nyak is like the kid, the Christian kid that goes to college and is like trying to think Be cool about it. Yeah, feels uncomfortable. I hang out with my big brother trying to like try and keep up. Yeah God doesn't exist. What? Screw God, right brother? You brother trying to keep up. Yeah God doesn't exist, what?

Screw God, right brother? I don't have really a feeling one way or the other. I'll describe a bit of what's happening on the deck here. In front of you is a large wooden mast, which glows with freshly graffiti runes. To your left you see a door leading into the lower level of the ship, and to your right a bloody figure slumped over the ship's steering wheel. Where would you like to go? Well, um, I would, you know what? Let's just be careful here. I throw down a glove at the guy who slumped over and I say, I challenge you to three on one duel.

I pick up the glove that my brother throws on the ground. I carry them all in a little bag for him. Jens, give me a roll to see how many gloves you have left. What can I roll? Well, I should roll. I should fix them up for me. I just want to get a rough sense of how many you have on here in a given time.

I guess you can roll D20 plus six. Great, okay. Okay, I have 23 gloves and uneven amount. That's good. It feels foolish. You have like one black glove to keep in remembrance of your father. That one I'm saving to throw down

when I fight the barbarian who killed him. Wow. And then I split the rest evenly. Niaq has 11 for save keeping in case I have my pants off at the moment And then I have 11 on me. You know for someone that hates their brother. You really rely on him We know what we're getting closer So you shout at this corpse Shout at the scarves you shouted a corpse this corpse. You shouted a corpse. You shouted a cloud. Nothing happens.

Do you say there was a chest in this room? No, there's a mast. Oh. There's a mast with some glowing graffiti on it. Ooh, I go and read the graffiti. Oh, yeah. Okay. You inspect the mast and realize that the gasoline blue graffiti

is actually a message from none other than the mysterious watcher known as Z. What? Yeah, it reads, Wow, this is a real messed up scene. Who would happen here? LOL, I'm honestly not a huge fan of heights, so I'm gonna let y'all handle this one. Good luck, Sweeties. XOXO Z.

I'm feeling fucked, bitch. I throw one of my kunai at the corpse. Just exilates a little bit. Actually, it doesn't, cause it's been here for about a week. So, shit, I thought it's a crusty. I wanna attack the graffiti. Okay. Yeah.

Attack it. All right, 23 in the group. Maybe that's not a natural 20. No, it's not a natural. Okay. Uh, as soon as you touch the graffiti, it fades away. Okay. I think we're quite literally beating a dead sea captain here.

I go back and get my name. Do you want to, uh, do you want to beat up that corpse a little more? Uh, yes. I would like to kick him. Okay. Okay. I, he's, he's going to pop up any second. I throw him on the yes, I would like to kick him. Okay. Okay. He's gonna pop up any second right there on one of the ground. He's still dead.

He's had enough brother. He's our punch human face. Uh, which is some just some bald up rage that he's had for a long time. You sufficiently killed him extra. Super mom marrying some other guy should have waited longer. You know, stop him or just let him work it out. I let him work it out. I think you're maybe he'll stop talking about his dad so much if he gets this out of his system. I made this corpse until you stop.

I don't want to hear you. Do you want to look at the corpse? Yes. I am mutilated in his face. Yeah, yeah. What? Okay, I am mutilated in his face. All right. At this point, we need to do two thidentification. Does he want to have an identify spell? Yeah.

I have been slapping him. So he's probably more bruised than crushed. All right, here's what happens. You slap the corpse so much that out of their hand, a small purple stone rolls out. Ah. Is. Oh, okay.

I'm going to collect I'm gonna collect it. You collect it. Stones and crystals and rocks. They're kind of my thing. I don't know if you've noticed. I just hold it in my hand and I wait for it to speak to me. It does. It does speak to you.

You hear a voice coming from it. There's, it's a speaking stone. This is Draper reporting in. Yeah, I can't hate using these memo stones, but the boss is insistent that we do. What does she think is gonna happen? We crash and then a bunch of adventurers come piece together the events of our demise

by listening to the things we said. She's fucking dumb. Anyway, we retrieved the Ginnarae crystal as well as another interesting dohiki. And we should be able to make it back to Vainelar to rendezvous with Blavin' in about a week. Huh? Oh shit.

Oh, God's, oh no, oh it's them. Sound the alarm, they're here, the trick. The recording cuts off there. They retrieved not only the Gennarack crystal, but also some other interesting, they called it a doohickey. What does a doohickey say? So it means that, and then they a do-hicky. What does it do, Hicky? So it means that, and then they were attacked in the middle of recording this.

So it means that they found something of value and then perhaps someone attacked for specifically that. Well, there was a hole in the ship down by where the captain was. So perhaps they escaped through there. We should go check that out. So you want to head down to the lower depth? Yeah.

Or the middle deck? Yeah. All right. Cool. I keep my eye check that out. So you wanna head down to the lower deck? Yeah. Or the middle deck? Yeah. All right. Cool. I keep my eye on this cord. This is gross. It flips you the bird. I knew it.

Whoa. So cool. And by that I made a bird lands on the bird. And starts picking at the flesh because it is dead. You descend the stairs to the ship's middle deck. To your immediate left is a door-labeled cruise quarters. Across the room is another set of stairs and an ornate door with some sort of golden device attached. Yes. Right. I don't touch the golden device. Yeah. Like we finish. You want me to finish? What's going on in there?

You know, I tried mixing around the things and not putting the coolest thing last, so you wouldn't do that. Right? When did the cruise corner? Why? Cruise? Like, CRUIS-y? Yes, Terry Cruise is in there, and he wants to be your friend.

Ooh! Sorry, go on. Right in front of you is the galley, which is uninhabited except for the corpse of another monk, and what appears to be an automaton where the rusty cutlass jammed into its head. I attack that corpse to be right, my brother. Okay.

I befriended the automaton. Yeah. What are you looking at first? The cool door. All right, so Jins is headed for the cool door. I'm going towards the automaton. Okay. And I want to, you said he's rusty.

I want to rip the cut list out of him. Oh, okay. Niant, what are you doing? I slapped the monk corpse. Okay, roll an attack. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

You're gonna lose against the corpse. I guess it's a seven. A seven. No, five. Five. There is some jam on the corpse. I guess it's a seven. No. Five. Five. There is some jam on the floor. And you slip in the jam. And you fall down on your ass. Did you just slip on jam? No, brother. The corpse is tricky. One day I'll be. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man.

A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man.

A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man.

A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. A man. So you want to go to the kitchen to inspect the automaton. Yeah, I want to like rip the cut list out almost like I said, just save him. Uh, let me let me describe the scene a little bit. OK. Sprawled out on the ground, you're a kitchen cabinet is a humanoid automaton made of wood and polished brass. They wear no clothes, say for a turquoise sash and a pilot's hat

of the same color. On one of their Elven ear like antennae, a golden earring dangles from a small hole. Oh hell yeah. You notice as well that their chassis is scuffed and bloodied as if from struggle. Also they got a whole dang sword sticking out their freaking dome. So you want to pull that out? Yeah, I want to clasp it and pull it out.

Alright. Hello. I am Otto, the automated first mate. Please enter access code. I press 6969. I just keep pressing 6969 until something happens. How many times do you press 6969? Literally until something happens.

Go to our bad. Please do not tamper with me. If you continue to tamper, I will have no choice but to take defensive maneuvers. Okay, okay. You continue to tamper. I will have no choice but to take defensive maneuvers. Okay. Okay. I guess maybe I'll look around for some kind of numbers. Some kind of numbers. Onyx is probably in the captains quarters too.

Yeah. That's probably won't go. Okay. You're inspecting the golden door. All right. Let's go over to that real quick. As you get closer to this door, you notice a gold sign that reads Captain Taylor Spineer. To the right of the nameplate, you see an intricately crafted golden box with five vertical slits.

The box is connected to a locking mechanism on the door, which, as you might have guessed, is locked. The box appears to be some kind of doorbell. There's a call button and an open button. What do you want to do? I press open. You press open, a grainy voice responds. Access restricted, please provide vocal code to proceed.

Brother, say six, nine, six, nine. Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine. Nice. It doesn't work when it likes it so. Totally sick. I can't let you in, but you seem like a real cool dude. It is a sex move, brother. You said there were little slits.

Yeah, like for speaking into. Oh, got it. Okay, I would like to then, I guess I'm just gonna press, is there like on the automaton, are there like slots? Like, you know, like if there's, like is there a little thing that says whether it's looking for four numbers or? You were looking for, like, if there's four, like is there a little thing that says whether it's looking for four numbers or you're looking for, like,

does that have like a flashing? Yeah, you're looking for five numbers, five numbers. Maybe somebody left a speaking stone around or something. Can I look around for one of these other gems? Yeah, you search corpses. Yeah, let's search a corpse. You see another corpse. As I mentioned, there's one lying on the floor in the kitchen.

I'm so careless with it. I toss it over. All right, yeah, you toss it over. It's pretty stiff. Rigor mortis is set in. So like you have some trouble. I'm ripping off limbs just so disrespectful. You inspect the corpse and notice that around their neck,

they are wearing the same sort of purple stone that draper the ship's pilot was holding. Do you want to listen to it? Yes. Cohen reporting in. The captain got mad at me again because I taped the access code to auto on their back. It's not my fault. I can never remember the combo. Anyway, I'm going to record it on this stone so that I can always listen back and figure

it out. The code is 22739. Also another reminder, if auto's batteries run out, you can always jumpstart them using a spell slot. Don't know why I felt they needed to save that out loud, but oh's batteries run out, you can always jumpstart them using a spell slot. Don't know why I felt they need to save that out loud, but oh well, culling out. All right, so now you have the access code, great. Who are you dismantling my dungeon?

I put 22739 into auto. Oh yeah, let's flash back to auto. As soon as it comes to life, I want to remind them that I'm a savior. Hello, I am Otto, the automaget first made. Thank you for bringing me back online. Although I am very hungry. Can you provide me with some power?

What are you hungry for? I feed it jam from the floor. I do not like jam. I have much floor jam as he wants. I give him two butter finger babies. Where do you put them? He does have a mouth. I'll say that. Yeah, put him in his mouth. Good boy. No, I do not like these. These are yucky. Pitu, Pitu.

They're delicious. You shame yourself. Pitu. I desire arcane power. You need power. All right. Well, seeing as I'm the strongest out of all of us by far. And the rudest. I get the sense you are a real rude boy. I hold hands with auto and I do the like wave move. I go like that and I give him a first level spell slot. A first level spell slot? Awesome. I like, I go like that, and I give him a first level spell slot. A first level spell slot?

Awesome. I like, I have Thunder Wave, so I do like a little, I do a literal Thunder Wave. Oh, Kang10. And then I take it back real quick, and then I give it back. Otto looks at Niaq and Onyx and is like kind of suggesting that you join in. Just for fun. Oh, okay, yeah, you don't have to give him a spell slot. and is like kind of suggesting that you join in. Just for fun. Oh, okay, yeah.

You don't have to give him a spell slot. Oh yeah, I'm in there. Everybody do the wave. Hey, which one of you entered 69, 69? Hopefully, Hentel over again. I'm pretty sure it was him. Do you have a log of what was discovered? I do not have full log of discoveries,

but I can tell you what has happened here. Oh, yeah. We were headed back from our trip to the Nalari in Temple on Gienerak. When we were accosted by a group of pirates known as the Dread Horizon, we did our best to fight back, both they took us by surprise.

The last thing my memory banks can recall is the captain running into her quarters with the Gienerak crystal and the shsh redacted that we recover. That must be the doohickey. The doohickey. Doohickey searching memory banks. Yes it is the shsh doohickey redacted. Did you know anyone named Z?

Otto. Z. Searching. Searching. No that is stupid. You are stupid. Fuck you. Don't like glove town.

You dropped your glove. Dude, I'm not insulting my brother. And you're not taking my job. He had to pick up the gloves. No, he's a... And I X starts wiping the jelly off your ass. You got jelly on your bomb bomb. I do not.

It is everywhere. He did slip on the floor jam brother. Do you have any more questions you want to ask Otto? Where is the duhickey? The duhickey. You will need to search the mission log, which is located in the storage area of the bottom deck, like the captain's quarters or a different area. No, wrong. The bottom deck.

The captain's quarters is right over there. We still need to search the captain's quarters. a different area. No wrong. The bottom deck. The captain's quarters is right over there. We still need to search the captain's quarters. What's going there? Let's go ahead. Can we put you on sleep mode so that we don't burn all your power? I will be fine for the remainder of this encounter on the amount of energy you have provided me. Okay. Can we put you to sleep anyway? I kind of want to put you to sleep. Okay, kind of rude, but yes. I sing it a little by. I put a little bag over it's head. That is not how you put me to sleep.

It's wrong. It's beautiful, but incorrect. Auto points to a little button on the back of their neck. Do you want to press it? Yeah. Okay, you press the button and auto folds in on themselves like a little piece of origami paper. And then the earring that was on their ear forms a key chain ring. Whoa. And you now have a pocket auto. Oh, yeah. And I'll explain

how this works. Basically, you put one charge in it now. You can expend spell slots up to five to create basically a Mojron servant. Oh, that one out of the ice. I'm gonna attach it to the belt loop on my pants. Yeah. While we're looking around, could we get a little bit of a short rest

because I got my brother stabbed me? Yeah, sure. That was your dead father, brother. That's true. Everyone here's dead. It's fine. Cool. Recover.

Has everybody doing on bladder issues? Oh, you got a pee. I'm okay. I don't need a pee. I just know that I always have to pee a little bit. But I just know that my sweet baby's son has a small bladder. I do. Small tiny little bladder, but it's good.

Okay, cool. Cool. Yeah, let's go to the captain's quarters. Again, the captain's quarters is locked. Oh, can we put in the number? Let's try the same number. There's no keep at. Oh, right. Oh, I say, 22739. Rich acted. Okay. I am. Vocal code needed. I take out, I take out my automaton. I am vocal code needed I take out I take out my automaton He's no longer a key chain. Hello. Um, I had a nice nap. Thank you Good did you have any good dreams? What's the code? Just give me a fucking

I dreamed about that man falling over and over again on his big fat Tushy So falling over and over again on his big fat Tushy. I'm not sad. He slept into so many different types of gems, apricot and blueberry. Brother, I insist you kill this evil robot. I throw down authorized to give the code you will need the vocal code of the captain of the ship to access this store. The captain is dead dumbass. Ado, I know you are talented. I know you are talented. Um, thank you. Auto strike suppose. Will you do your best impression of the captain? Okay. Uh, auto goes over to the door and does their best impression, which sounds just like his normal voice. Hello, I am Captain Taylor. Spineer, I am a real cool captain and everyone likes me, but my favorite subject is got to be Otto, the ultimate first made. I love him like my own son.

Okay. Otto. You've spoiled me. What does the captain sound like? If you could describe what her voice sounds like. She sounds like a commanding, beautiful, authoritarian woman. Okay, I'll take it from here. I cast a disguise cell phone myself and then try to do my best impression of what

I imagine this woman is like, okay, two, two, seven, three, nine. Okay, give me a raw performance. If you get a 20, all right, yeah. If you get a 20, all right, yeah, if you get a 20 year above something will happen. 16. 16. Ah, it's close. Uh, the door says,

one more input and you will be in big trouble. Okay. Let's go downstairs, see what's downstairs. Okay, you go downstairs. Bottom deck! You descend to the lowest deck and find nothing. Hmm. Well, almost nothing.

Tear right is a small storage area with a few crates and what seems like an improvised weight lifting station. But in front of you, in the place where an engine would normally be, is an enormous hole. There's no evidence of any struggle say for a disembodied hand still clutching its cutlass On the hand you can see a small tattoo of the center's mark He has the same tattoo as you on it You should not show anyone that what if we took this finger then, oh no, it's voice activated that it needs? I still think we can take the finger.

The hand might, let's go investigate the hand. I pick up the hand carelessly. Okay. It kind of flops around. Okay. Is there anything else? It's just the tattoo. Yeah, just the tattoo.

You do see in this area, there's like some crates. Okay. There's a storage crate. I'll open the crates. Okay. I also like to work out in the improvised gym. We can do some dead lifts. Yeah.

Alright, cool. Give me a strength check. Fuck. You know what? Honestly, if you... 13. Do you add anything to that? Yeah, I did.

I just add this, right, Murph? Yeah. Okay. 13. You managed to get it up. You managed to do a successful clean. There's a lot of weight on there. I'm the lock eyes with my brother.

There you go. Here's the thing. Do, if you can succeed on two more, I'll give you plus one strength for the rest of the encounter. Oh my God, dude. That's gonna work, that's a 20. Was that a, Nat 20 or just a 19? Okay.

Plus one. And an 11 Nope, not gonna do it cool you beef it it falls down Here we go brother this one's for your love Don't do that so on top slip in the jam Why is the ship covered in jam I feel like this isn't even on me. It's rhubarb. Also, on top of the crates, there is a ship's manifest, which has kind of a list of items on it. Yeah, let's look at that. So it says, Nalorian daggers times five, Mimmo

Stones times 50, Quantum Retrievalval device and Ginnarat crystal. Okay. Quantum retrieval device sounds good. That must be the dui. That's the dui. An arrow pointing to the last two items reads, move to captain's quarters for safekeeping. Can I peek my head out of that hole? So the hole is basically, imagine that the ship is kind of tilted onto a big outcropping of cloud.

So it's basically just like a big, bolderest cloud is blocking the whole now. Got it. So that's the same thing that's going on in the captain's quarters. Yep. So, okay. Okay, so do you want to look through these boxes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want any of this stuff? Oh, hell yeah. I mean, if there's daggers in there, I'll take some daggers. You want them daggers? I do. All rightgers in there, I'll take some daggers. You want them daggers? I do. All right, these are Nalaurian time daggers. If you crit with these daggers,

the enemy loses a turn. If you're Rilla 19, they're inflicted with slow. Whoa. That would take one hell yeah. All right, you wanna take one? Yeah. Yeah, how many are there? There are five.

So you can each have one, and then Jin's gonna have a couple to throw if he wants. I see. I wrote down the stats for them somewhere, but they work like normal throwing knives. Cool. Okay, so that's basically everything down here. We saw him check out the cruise quarter. Maybe we'll open check that out. Yeah.

Let's do that. That sounds like a good idea. Thanks. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you five bird dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's going to be difficult.

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make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash papa or enter promo code papa at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Alright, so you go up to the crew's quarters. And it meets the hammocks that serve as beds for the crew you find two more corpses One seems to be another Nalarian monk, but the other way is pirate gear

You see another sinners mark tattoo But the Pirates face is a deep shade of purple most likely result of the permanent chokehold the monk is placed him in It seems she died defending her ship Yeah, bitch So do you want to inspect the area? Yeah. I want to go about I want to do corpses first. Yeah. Okay. Cool. You do find I'll just go ahead and say it. You find another memo stone. Okay. The captain was insistent. Sure. We listen. All right. This is ship security officer rim reporting in. Just hit a new PR. I'm a deadlift, and I decided to celebrate with a shake. Only problem is, when I entered the kitchen, I saw the captain standing next to the garbage

disposal doing something real suspicious. It looked like she was trying to get rid of something, so I moved closer to inspect, but a creek in the floorboard gave me away. Soon as the captain heard that, she took what she was fiddling with, stashed it in the freezer, and then fled into her quarters. Now the Captain hates keeping secrets. That's why we use these Mimmo stones after all.

So my curiosity was definitely peaked. But when I opened the freezer, all I saw was a box of her special dietary frozen spinach that no one's allowed to touch, and my cheat day ice cream. I got a feel in the boss is hiding something, but I don't want to pry. Live and let live, you know? Then she gets stabbed. All right, let's go to the kitchen, right? We have anything else in this room. Let's look around. The only thing left in this room is a poster that says, Furia Fliant, Judo, and MMA Jim, it features a picture of a female grappler body slamming a dragonborn to the ground. I would like to, I would like to like,

kneel on the ground and give some reverence to this awesome woman who died. Oh, cool. Yeah. I like to roll roll the poster up and put it in my pocket. Yeah, we should we should frame this and put this in the past. I'll decorate I'll decorate the roof with it. This is awesome. We should do like a, like an unofficial live stream that's just like decorating your house and more crossing style. Yeah. All right, so you take the poster

and then you wanna, well, you are famously agnostic it seems because you have a center's mark tattoo. But do you wanna pray or you wanna just like, offer? I just wanna go to my crystal flail that speaks to me and say, crystal. I know you You trap within you so many powers. I Wish I besieged you use your powers to give this glorious soul the rest she deserves. Give me a religion role

Nine nine Roll the advantage I want this to happen. 18. There we go. Good. You hold the crystal up to your ear, and I imagine you kind of like sway it because it's a mace. Oh yeah, maybe you've spitting.

I helicopter it. Yes, and you're kind of like a woo woo woo woo woo. Yeah, it's like one of those Nerf toy. Yes. The K-Octopus. Everything spinning. Yeah, it's like one of those Nerf toy This beautiful white plane painted red I'm pretty sure I gave her the piece she deserved

And then there's no more voices Oh, how you doing on on X how, how you doing? You gave her a rest, aren't you? That's what happened there. What happened? I believe I gave a worthy soul rest. Was anyone else want to kill? No, did something, did she say something weird to you? Well, my crystal encouraged me to paint the world red with chaotic blood. Okay

Now it's got this really great throaty laugh that it's doing. It's like really breathy. It smells like a smoker. Should we throw my crystal as a smoker? Got a light. Nyak puts his ear to the crystal. I am. He's very scared of these corpses. He's heard a lot about ghost pirates. I would like to tie up these corpses just in case your fear of corpses. It's you never know. Hey, this one is laughing. Okay, because you stop met a gaming. Please. Cool. So you tie up the corpses and Yeah, you want to investigate anything else? No the spinach. Oh, yeah, we got a spinach. All right. Cool. Let's go back to the kitchen Let's see the fighting and subsequent crashing of this ship have left the kitchen

in a state of intense disarray. I gingerly step over all the jam. Be very careful. You're working. You're working so hard to avoid the jam. You don't see the syrup. Shit. It's a 19 though. Okay, you're good. You do a cool flip over the syrup. The syrup is sticky. So you want to look in the fridge? Yes. All right. The fridge is empty, save for a few cans of Delirios,

Curios, effervescent fizzy liquid, and an old packet of shredded cheese. But you want to check out the freezer as well. Yeah. Nine Eats the Cheese. You eat the cheese? All right. It's old.

I pound a fizzy. You pound a fizzy. Yeah. Nice. There's no benefit, but a fizzy. You pound a fizzy. Nice. There's no benefit, but you feel good. You feel like... I do it and I do it and I'm like, well, I don't even stop in between. It's all just one big goal.

That's gotta be bad for you. I'm gonna be really burp. Everyone needs to not eat what's in the fridge. Did you want some of the cheese? No. No, I don't. It's so moldy. It's very moldy.

You can see it. It's green. What color is she supposed to be, brother? That's supposed to be brown. The grills have fridges. They're like modern grilas, you know. You don't, I don't live with the grilas. I live with my parents. That's true.

But they live with the grilas. They don't have a fridge. Okay. Yeah, they're hippie types. I got you. I opened the freezer. All right. The freezer is pretty barren too, save for a box of frozen spinach, a pint of Pelosian

moon rocky road ice cream, and two spare arcane batteries. Whoa. We gotta keep those in the fridge. I want to shove the arcane batteries into my little friend. Oh, thank you. Yummy. So, auto opens their mouth. Yeah.

And you can see they have a row of teeth that are made of batteries. One of them is like very faintly glowing. One is all the way lit up, and then three are completely dead. OK, I take two of the dead ones out and put in the other two. Oh, boy. I say, real quick, a bit of dental surgery. I am feeling ready to take on the world. Champ A.D.M. I pet him. Cool. So he's a tridrone now. He's got the stats of a normal

tridrone. Nice. And then we'll open the spinach. Yeah. All right. So you open the spinach box and find a m memo stone hidden inside Upon activating it you hear a woman with a commanding voice reading some kind of story. Mm-hmm God cross lovers a trying fanfiction audio drama by Taylor Spineer. Oh, no Chapter four no. Are you for real? My ex starts crying Nalar, you for real? My ex starts crying. Open this door, Nalar.

Taylor knocked on the door, it's in the large room again. Being the only mortal living in an apartment full of gods was hard enough. But living with a god who just got dumped was almost impossible. Taylor kept knocking, secretly thinking that since Nalar was now single, today might be her chance to make a move. Suddenly, N law responded, I'm never opening the door again. I'm gonna stay in here until I can build a machine

that makes me not feel things ever. Taylor started to respond, but was interrupted by a loud groan from Leont. This goes on for a while. Do you want to be listening? What I want to do is I want to fast forward and see if she says seven, nine, or three. I think it might be the, I think we need to play her saying,

open the door. Oh, your smart friend is correct. Oh, okay, that's a lot was complicated. I kind of want to listen to the rest. It sounds expertly crafted. That's the first smart thing you've said, robot. I do want to see if it gets sexy. I will fast forward to the end. Nellar and Nettus were covered in the Cloud Light cream. Taylor laughed. You three sure know how to make the best of a sticky situation.

All three gods laughed loudly and threw with cream at Taylor. After that, they all stripped naked and had wild, unprotected sex. Can I scan the audiobook for the word Jam? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Chapter five a big jam. You'll have to read this back to me later. Otto. Okay. If you want to stay I assume you're did you take any memos stones for yourself? I don't know why you'd want. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that's helpful to have cool. I feel like tense would keep a diary. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would like to.

I'm also planning on a penning a tell all to get back into the good graces of my tiny moon. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I definitely take some of those. You have been banished from. Yeah, I'm exiled. Yeah, I would like to say into my diary stone, Jen's day one, I figured out the puzzle and now we're going to bring it to this captain's door and I'm pretty sure it's going to work.

Another excellent day in the life of Jen's lendel. And I act to just just Jen's. I excellent day in the life of Jen's lendel. And Niaq too. Just Jen's. I'm also not yet. Jen's out. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And I put it away. OK.

Entry received. Do you want to head towards the captain's door now? Yeah. Let's play back the little recording. All right. So yeah, you go up to the door. You press the little open button, you play the recording, open this door, the door opens.

And in the room, you've seen the room already, but now from this angle, you can see under the desk and you see four little drones kind of like waiting, but they're inactive because you were smart and you used the password as opposed to busting in. So the drones, the drones stay put for now. Oh, and from this angle as well. So again, on the left wall, where there was a wall, there's now a big hole. But in the kind of flat back area, it's kind of like half an octagon because it's like backing up to the front of the ship.

Got it. There is a framed poster of Lazzle Glendale performing his famous move, The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny. I start weeping. It's a really good photo. It's really good. Yeah, it seems like maybe Captain Spanier was a fan. She seems like kind of a fan girl, honestly. This is the only corpse at respect for her. It's just such a tragedy. Do you want to look at the corpse?

Yes. Cool. You investigate Taylor's corpse and discover a memo stone in her right hand and a large gun-like device in her left. Actually, swap that. Right hand is the gun, left hand has the memo stone. The device has what seems to be a four-pronged clenching hook on the end, with a large blinking turquoise gym mounted in the middle of the hook. Do you want to play the memo stone or what do you

want to do? I want to play the memo stone, but this thing sounds really cool. I know. I want to do memo stone first, then play with this thing. Let's take our vegetables and then we get fucking dessert. Okay. That's my good little morning girls. We'll have our vegetables on good call the well. I'm sure you want to just fire a gun you found? All right.

You play the memo stone. This is Captain Taylor Spineer. Minutes ago, the ship was invaded by the mercenary group known as the Dread Horizon. I fear most of my crew might already be dead. I've barricaded myself in my office, so I should be safe for now. But as the captain, I can't let our precious cargo fall into the wrong hands. So unfortunately, I am left with no choice but to use the device we encountered in the

temple on Ginnarak. A device I call the Chrono Scooper. Here's how it works. You fire the gun once to mark an object or person. Once that object is marked, it's time and location data are permanently fixed into the gun. Then at any point later on, you press the gun's trigger again to create a portal to the past at the exact time and location

that you marked earlier. Once the portal is open, you simply pull the trigger a third time to fire the grappling hook. The hook grabs the object and scoops it from the past into the present. The reason I'm telling you this is that I plan on marking the Ginnarack crystal so that you can recover it if I fail. You hear a beeping noise. There. Marked. Wait, what was that? Hey, you, how did you get in here? No, er, no, get that back, drones, drones, attack! I wonder if she got away.

Suddenly, the audio cuts out. Seems you've discovered the last location of the Gennereda Crystal. And so, what are you doing now? So we just, so we don't know precisely where. We just know that in the room somewhere, we can fire this gun and retrieve the Gennereda Crystal, right? Mm-hmm. Was there any clue as to where? Did anyone else notice a clue as to where? room somewhere, we can fire this gun and retrieve the gun or at crystal, right?

Was there any clue as to where? Did anyone else notice a clue as to where or should we just blow? Do you want to have the books in the room? Yeah. Okay. There's the. Is there like a poster of the poster of your father? Light shines through a single porthole under the turquoise pattern wallpaper of the captain's quarters.

To your left, you see a pair of severed legs wearing fancy leather boots and a pile of dried blood behind the boots, a jagged hole in the wall where the other port hole would have been. On the other side is the port hole you looked through earlier. There's some potted plants. There's the poster. There's some other tasteful posters. They're just like impressionist paintings, not much. I should have patted plants. You should have patted plants. Okay. Can we kind of investigate the room?

Maybe like I ever so generally take down my dad's poster. I want to see if there's anything that looks like she would have kept it there. Because that's what we're trying to do, right? What are you looking for? We're kind of looking to see if there's like an area that would be obvious to keep the gem so that we can shoot that and not waste our shot.

Oh, okay. Or is she wearing any jewelry? She's not, she's keeping it simple. They all kind of wear like a, it's like a monk uniform, like a tunic essentially, but it's that like turquoise green that all the monks wear of the Nellarian order.

Love it. Well, she clearly has great taste and I motion to my poster of my father. That's my brother's dad. Why don't you give me an investigate check. Cool. 17. 17. Only 13 for me. Oh, ring a ding-ding ding look who's the smartest boy in town? I'm walking with a sticky syrupy feet Nyak using your keen detective mind. I'm looking for jam that I to not step in and I find something else You see the dried blood and you're like, uh-oh jam more jam. Be careful everyone is treacherous dried blood

using Uh oh, jam. Wait, no. Be careful, everyone, it's treacherous. Dry blood. Using, uh, in keen logical senses, numbers flash before your heads. You realize that the person who's boots these belong to was probably trying to steal the crystal and was attempting to escape. So maybe you should fire the gun at their last known location. Oh, I wonder if like, you don't think they got like half shot to the future?

That would be insane. All right, yeah. Let's shoot this. Let's shoot this half five. Let's shoot this half five. Let's shoot this half five. Yeah, I have a part of my nose just labeled time portal. And I've been waiting the entire time to use it.

Yeah. All right, I feel like we all really want to touch it. So we're all just like,'ve got I think I've got I feel like I would be the best person to do this. I just feel like I'm more of a male I can't get sort of sit back Exactly so bomb range. I don't want your The same way we decide on who gets the remote when we're all chilling at home. Oh cool. Yeah, that's good Oh, cool. Yeah, that's good. We all roll.

I got in that one. Okay. I got 11. Niac, it is your honor. It's true. Niac solved the puzzle. You get to decide what we watch tonight. I do a really, really cumbersome barrel roll with the gun. Ha! Getting more jam on yourself? Covered in jam. Are you just recovering from another jam?

I don't do a server-sol getting a ton of jam in my mullet. Oh, you got such a sticky mullet. All right. You pull the trigger on the Chrono Scooper, and an oval-shaped portal emits from the device. The view is foggy and unfocused, but through this temporal window, you see Captain Taylor. Seated at her desk, she holds up the Ginnarrat crystal

and tags it with a scooper, like a retail worker making a routine price check. The crystal now bears a turquoise ruin on its side. Suddenly, the view on the portal comes into focus and you can hear what the captain is saying. There, marked. Wait, what was that? Hey, how did you get in here?

Suddenly you see a slender, elven figure interframe. They were a shining metal mask with a three-slashed eye pattern, a long black cloak and a familiar pair of leather shoes. On their back is a long sword wrapped in tattered bandages. The figure grabs the crystal from the captain and stabs her. Ugh! No! Give that back!

Drone! Drone! Attack! Taylor reaches for remote control to activate the drone guards, but the figure bats it from her hands. They move to inspect the chrono scooper, but then are momentarily distracted by the poster of last lick on the wall. your chance. Do you fire the scooper?

Yes, all right. Uh, give me who's firing it? No, oh no. Give me an intelligence check. Oh That is not gonna be great It's my intelligence I know I had a plus eight You're my intelligence. Oh, I had a plus eight. You rolled an eight? No, I rolled a six. Okay, all right.

So what happens is you fire the, uh, the grappling hook. It flies past, uh, misses the figure and the, the crystal all together. The figure turns and sees a bunch of idiots shooting at him through a magic window. I, can I die? Why are you looking at that poster? The figure looks at you, but instead of heading towards you, they seem shocked. It's hard to tell what they're feeling because of the mask, but it seems like maybe they know you.

Do you want to try and fire again? I want to dive in through this portal. You want to dive in? I don't need to. I could just out your glass. Are you my dad? The figure slowly comes towards you. You need to this window is gonna close fast. I jump in. Yeah. You jump in. I jump in. I jump in. Also. We're off the rails. Hell yes. All right. But you jump through. This guy

dives out of the way to avoid you jumping into the room At this point you can see that Taylor is hanging in there. They're still alive and I don't know I'm not a healer. God damn it. Taylor. I do Yeah, one of us should do I'll cure wounds on her I attack this person wait No, I know but the other guy, what's his deal, right? What's your deal, man? He says nothing. Yeah, he's definitely stealing from Taylor.

This is all happening very fast, yes, the way. I think I attacked. You're gonna start, okay, hold on. Some things are going to happen. So as you jump through, you look back into the present that you just left. You see the boots in the dried blood by the corner, fade away. You've changed history. And then another thing happens.

A huge rumble is heard. And through the portal, you see a massive, oh wait, nope, nope, that's not what happens now. Let me take that one more time because she'll change the fucking script. A huge rumble is heard. And you see a massive fur covered beast burst through the back wall. The entire ship shakes and the masked figure is knocked to the ground. In this moment, you notice two things.

The crystal has been knocked to the ground as well. It's yours to claim, and also the figure's mask has fallen off. They scramble to retrieve it, but before they can, Jens, you see the person, and you know who it is. It's Raster von Weinhardt, The banished lord of Verdanta, or as you know him, rast, the barbarian that killed your father. But before you can even react to that, the beast in the room begins talking. That glemma, I must have it. The beast is now fully entered the room, and you can finally get a good look at her. It looks like a giant, wooly moth, but with a mouth of a great white shark and the massive

claws of a snow leopard. As it talks, it's huge, comb-like antennas sweep the room, bristling menacingly. What a glorious glimmer you have. You must give it to me for I am more of queen of the woolly bugs in all the shines. It's mine by right. Well, it's roll initiative. I'm coming for you, Mom. What did you roll?

17. 17. 15. 15. 17. Seven. Seven. All right.

We're doing reverse order, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, um, we could be went through time. It's like a jet blue fight. It's like a jet blue fight. The crown of lot. Okay 15 for gins seven for onyx and oh let's roll for Raster mother fucker deadi killer. Yes. I I yell this man. I say to you guys this man murdered my father in a sanctioned duel

Okay Cool. We are in a battle now, Nito. Niant, you are first. All right. While I appreciate that you killed my brother's father so we could marry my mother, and that's make me and him, baby brothers, I must respect my brother's disdain for you as well, and I shoot him with a bow, or try to. You try to shoot him with the bow or try to.

You try to shoot him with a bow. Yep, and I think I'll miss. I'll come in your role. 12. Oh yeah, you miss. He dodges out of the way. No, you don't understand. That's not what happened.

He's got the baby. He's okay, baby brother. You are strong. I think there's a bunch of jam covering all my bow. Somebody get that or syrup, I think there's a bunch of jam covering all my bones. Ha ha ha. Somebody get that or syrup, I think, actually. Mother, more of that would suck to my hands. More of licks or lips. Yo, the climber and also the sticky boy.

You shall be a sweet appetizer treat. Protect me, brother. I must have the sticky boy. Oh, don't take any sticky people. Jins is your turn. Okay, so the crystals on the ground crystals on the ground. Yes I look at Rast that son of a bitch It gives me pause when he says that's not what happened Mm-hmm, and I go you and I are gonna iron this out first. I'm gonna get this thing

And I grabbed the crystal he looks at you and he's very upset that you've done this And I grabbed the crystal he looks at you and he's very upset that you've done this Really you would think you'd be upset, but he's got the mask on he kind of does a gesture Okay, he really emotes with his body. Yeah, it's just what you want the hands on son of a bitch This you're supposed to let them do the dance of death before they kill you just at the time There will be time for this jins, but not now. There are more important things at play. There's nothing more important than dance. God, you sound just like him.

You're damn right, I do, you bastard. But for now, you can just watch me. And I'm gonna do a defensive flourish and I'm gonna attack the monster. Okay, cool. But I'm looking at him the whole time. You're like, moonwalking towards the monster. Yeah, okay All right, yeah cool, so I get now I have Two weapon fighting so now when I attack with my offhand I get to add my thing as well So first I'm gonna do regular short sword attack bring it

Nat 20. Yeah. And I also have defensive flourish. So that is, you can spend one use of your bardic inspiration to cause the weapon to deal extra damage to the target you hit. Damage equals to the number you roll on the bardic inspiration die. Would I get to, with a crit, roll that twice because it's dice during damage? Yeah, it sounds right. Sweet. No, let's really drag this fight out. No, I don't want cool epic moments where someone does a bunch of damage. No, I could, you just, you just saw your father's murder or there's no way that you would be inspired right now. Uh, so I just did 20 damage to the monster. Uh, oh, wait,

yeah, 20 damage. Mm hmm. Um, and then I added four to my AC. Oh wait, yeah, yeah, 20 damage. Mm-hmm. And then I added four to my AC. Whoa. For now. Your AC goes up four? Just for, uh, just for a round. Yeah, I'll do my next turn. Okay, cool.

That's in my defensive flourish. I had to use a birdie conspiracy. And then I'm gonna stab with my offhand sword. Cool. Still looking at him. Uh, that's a 15 to hit. Doesn't hit. Shit. You need to attack. Uh, that's a 15 to hit? Done hit. Shit.

You need to attack? Uh, because I use offhand, I have low AC. Ooh! Ooh, you have quite a glimmer to you. Oh, the way you spin and you fiddle with your little sticks. Oh, stop. I thought you liked me. No, you're a treat.

He, I will put on my chandelier. I will let you... Why? I will put you in my gooey castle! I like this beast. You have a castle, you say? Yes, it's a big stinky cocoon! I don't like that.

A cocoon castle that turns beautiful. That's what makes you like it. We have... We have... uh... crater castles on the tiny moon. Mother Morath looks at you. She looks at your flail and she goes,

Oh! You have the most beautiful glimmer of all. Oh, I will have that. Oh, I will have that flail. Oh No, you can't have my crystal. Oh, it's a beautiful crystal. I have so many salt lamps inside my castle That's very tasteful decor, but this is mine. Okay, so you're hit It's full decor, but this is mine. Okay, so you're hit hits real bad. Mother Morath is still standing not too hurt yet, but like she takes notice of you. Got it.

And that's gonna be, oh, Mother Morath's turn. Oh no. Cool. She's not mad at me, is she? She's mad at everyone. Let's see, as monsters frequently are. Mother Morath lifts up her wings, and you notice that, unlike the woolly bugs, she has four different patterns

that all swirl differently. And I'm gonna roll to see which one she uses. Four. Ooh, wounding Ray. That's fun. The target must make a DC-13. Constitution saving throw. Taking...

Was one of them like a healing ray? Is there even actually... Yeah, actually. That's the wildest thing, though, is actually all other of them are healing. Okay, yeah, that's going to be... Make a DC-13. Constitution's on me.

Yeah, Constitution. Ooh. 14. Oh, no. All right. So on a failed save, oh wait. Success you take half damage, I believe? Yeah.

So 3d10. Oh god. Yep. That's going to be 8 damage. Okay. It was half, so. Oh, right, right, right. Okay.

Because you're so quick and you, you, you have a pretty sturdy Constitution, I would say. Yeah, I'm not. Which, I gonna be able to do that. Oh, right, right. Okay. Because you're so quick. And you, you, you have a pretty sturdy constitution, I would say. Yeah, I'm not. Which, I think that you have a sturdy constitution for things like this. But like, if you ate, um, like, some spicy food, you would ship for days. Just like a cheeseburger. I would be ill.

All right. If I had a buffalo chicken sandwich, I would be ill. Um, okay. It's a, it's a it's raster's turn And things are things are breaking bad. They're trying to get out of here This is not what they this is not the account of our Standard fight this monster and then fight me and my friends afterwards. There will be other fights I challenge you I Throw three gloves down. I challenge you to a three on one duel. What about your special glove that you saved just for him?

Oh fuck you're right. I go in and get my special glove. The special glove. We told him it was hard to find and then going through. So I had no idea we would find him. I had no idea. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and he notices that, but he's still gonna dash action for the whole that Mother Morath made. Oh, you sound a bit. Yeah, you know what? He can take opportunity on two of you.

I'll say. Wait, he's it? Oh, he's gonna like not do a dash, he's gonna like attack as he passes. No, he's going to like, he's running away. So we get to, you're gonna make opportunity. Oh, sweet. Yeah.

Who do you think is closest to the whole? I guess like, Jens, you attack the monster. I got up in the mix So you're probably closest actually you know it. I'll see it's Jens and other more advocate opportunity on him. Okay cool Matt one of so You killed my dad Trying to find the glove really put you up my voice my voice cracks as I try to I'll do what my father couldn't do so sorry my oh Oh, Jens I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to be this way

And then more half will make an attack as well Oh more half is shookin up for some reason too And they let's see, what's there? Six, nine, no, that didn't hit. Just second hand embarrassment for not being able to hit the opportunity. As he jumps out the hole, more at kind of sniffs at his sword and it's like, Oh, there's a glimmer to you as well.

I'll come for you soon. And then, yep, there's a glimmer to you as well. I'll come for you soon. Um, and then, yep, uh, what happens is, uh, Raster jumps out the window, and by window, I mean, giant hole, um, and then you can kind of see through the hole that a ship appears out of frame and flies away with the dread horizon pirates on it. I kind of think they're cool. I want to be a dread horizon. No, you don't. No, you absolutely do not.

Let's go pledge the dread horizon. All right, either start paying, either start paying rent. No, it covers his island with a patch. I, I kept in. No, that is horribly insulting to me, my family. I'll be your parrot for a week if you let me be a pirate. You have two choices. You could start paying rent or you could disown the dread pirates

Let us disown the dread pirates I'm gonna eat that yummy crystal if you don't stop big reds from these Oh, I just remembered is Auto out yeah, I was not in keychain mode. Yeah, let's roll for auto too. Yeah. So cute. Oh no, now I'm so defensive of him. I don't want anything to happen to him.

I throw my body in front of him. This is great. Auto's going to replace Raster in the roster. Hey. Nice. Cool. Raster in the roster. Let's see.

Yeah. Well, I'll give him a, I'll let him do an extra attack. How many charges did you give him? Just one? So it's good. I put two. Yeah, there'm well, I'll give him a I'll let him do an extra attack How many charges did you give him just one I put two yeah, there's two new teeth Oh, you gave two new teeth and then you gave it charge so I'm really gonna took on a little dependent with auto I'm gonna have to constantly be like giving him dental work. Oh This is fun. He gets three attacks Yeah, but he's just gonna use his fist So he's just gonna go up to Mother Morath and start whaling on her.

I don't like you. Leave my new friends alone. Oh my, that is so cute. First attack misses. Second attack. Also misses. It's okay, Otto. It's okay, Otto.

You've been asleep for a while. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I believe in you. I believe in you, you. I'm going to pop her a good one Popper auto he pops wait wait wait slugger. Oh, no just misses So auto goes up puts their hands up spins around in the tornado auto cyclone activate And then just spins around right into a wall. He knocks over the pot of plant. Oh

You know what that plant was saying shit. I agree I hate that plant Captain Taylor pays more attention to that plant than she does to me It's name is also auto which I think is a little rude. That is rude. Odex is your turn. Fuck up that plan. I attack the plan as well. I'm gonna go after Mama Moth. Oh, wait, what am I doing?

Okay, well, first off, I got a nat one, so it doesn't matter, but I'm also, I said bonus action, going to Hexblade Curse. Ooh. Which just means that if I were to hit, then I would add stuff to it. So Mama Moth is now cursed,

but I also rolled in that one. So she's not cursed? No, no, no, sorry. I, the cursing is like a bonus action. Okay. But I rolled before I cursed her, but what I rolled was in that one and I got to be true to that.

So I didn't hit. Curse here, but didn't hit. Hi, respect. Honestly. What, how does the curse work again? Okay, the curse is, hit. Curse is actually a cursor creature within 30 feet. They're cursed for a minute. I get bonus my proficiency to damage on this 19 and 20 crit and if they die I get hit points equal to my warlock level plus charisma. Cool. Did you say a disadvantage on something? No, okay points equal to my Warlock level plus charisma. Cool. Did you say a disadvantage on something? No. OK.

Just checking. I wish. That'd be cool. Nia, it gets your turn again. My turn? Mm-hmm. Get in the mix, you jamby dodger. Yes.

I barrel roll. Combr... very conversely, again. I wish we could adjust the camera so I could like... I want you to act out this barrel. It's really really slow I hope it's like a side barrel roll. Yeah, I like take sort of a jogging start I stutter step I stop And I really really tenderly barrel roll so it's not the Her with the speed I think it is your fear of the barrel roll that ruins the barrel roll. I'm not wearing a shirt

Very Fear of the barrel roll that ruins the barrel roll. I'm not wearing a shirt Very Oh, you're so sticky. Yes, but I I touch hands or cure wounds my brother. Oh, great. Thank you Cool take take your health So that's a d8 plus probably your wisdom affair. Oh, he's getting jam all over you. Jans you are so covered in jam now Oh, he's, that's 10 back. That's great, back in full. Oh, hell yeah. I love you brother.

Thank you. I like you at this moment. Thank you. Did you hear that, Onyx? I did, baby brother. You're not. OK. Did you hear that, Otto?

So now we're all the family. I heard it. I was talking to the plant. Auto's... Oh! You son of a bitch. I wake up the plant. Auto kicks the plant.

Hey! This is a good call. We will bring the plant with us as well. I want an auto as well. Just because if I drink water I will die She likes the plant more than me All right, oh Jens is your turn sweet and you are looking ferocious all right, I'm just gonna take some attacks I guess I'll do yeah, I'll do another defensive flourish because I don't there's nothing Yeah, slap this mama sweet, so I think it's after a yeah, expend one use

To deal extra damage. You can I think it's after I How many times can you do it? I can do it a number of times I can do my party conspiracy Which is three times okay? I can expend one use of your party conspiracy to cause the weapon to deal extra damage target you hit Got okay. Yes spin around when spin, you shimmer and shine so beautifully. Thank you. It honestly hurts to hit you. You're like a fancy little top.

Pass shit. I want to put you on a cabinet full of curioms. Alright, that's enough. 14. 14. Ooh, that's gonna miss my friend. Okay, I'm gonna try again. Offhand.

16. Oh, it just misses. I'm gonna miss my friend. Okay, I'm gonna try again. Off-hands. 16. Oh, it just misses. Oh. This moth is fuzzy, but strong. Is it their fuzz that makes them strong? They have a fuzz armor. It's like how, you know, like a bassitown,

their skin is so droopy because it's so that they can like, take hits from boars. They've got like extra skin. Holy shit. That's a big fact. It's either bulldogs or bassitowns. Like they have extra skin so that they can like take hits from Bors, they've got like extra skin. Holy shit. That's the fact. I think it's either bulldogs or bassitounds. Like they have extra skin so that they can like absorb attacks from like tusks.

Whoa. And that's how it works with this moth as well. Cool. Um, okay. Ooh, it's Mother Morath's turn again. Good. Great. Mommy.

I like doing these rays. I'm gonna keep doing those. Okay. Let's see. I think she's going after Alex, because she creeps that. Come after me. Yeah, I guess, Jins, you've got the crystal. You crave the greater, so I understand.

I do have her. But I think that the crystal to her is like, oh, that's the main course. That is like a big steak. But this big chunk of char that you've got, oh, that's gonna pair nicely. Okay, three. Fear Ray.

Okay. Target must succeed on a DC 13 wisdom saving throw. We'll be frightened for one minute. Roll the dice, please. Nice. 18. 18. I think that she like bears her fangs

and then like opens her mouth and you see she's got rows and rows of glistening crystal teeth. All of my different colors. I am right at home with crystals. You think you could I am from the tiny moon You think there is anything in trinny valve that can scare me. I will add you to my tooth collection You must have such a weird house It's more of a big hive full of goop and my children. I'm worried you're a hoarder I'm worried you're a hoarder. Everything has value. Right, okay.

Do you ever throw stuff out? Have you ever heard of the art of tidying up? If it doesn't spark joy. If you buy the book, then you have to throw the book away. It doesn't make sense. That is the book, yes, clutter. No, you buy a Kindle. You have barbarians.

You've got me there. Okay, it is, oh it's Otto's turn again. Otto is going to pick up the plant and throw it at Mother Mora. No, not the plant. No! All right, Mara, I'm he's favorite. I guess I would just be like, strength? I'm sure.

I'll just do it as a normal attack and do less damage because... Well, it's a three, so yeah. You are a very unimpressive robot. Yeah, all of my Beverly rolls are coming out notter today. Oh no. I guess, yeah, he like picks up the plant to throw it at Mother Morath and just throws it right out the window. Wrong direction. Well, at least he killed one fo the plant to throw it at Mother Morath and just throws it right out the window. Wrong direction.

Well, at least he killed one for. Maybe Rast will keep it. Next time we meet up with Rast. Yes, take that. Good job, Otto. That was the best thing you've done all day. Flip them off. All right, everyone needs to be nice to my keychain. I'm just being a keychain.

Things were so much simpler. Let's start calling him keychain. I like that name. Hello. All right, where's a bad name? All right, keychain. Kill this monster. Oh, he does get three attacks.

So, yeah, I'll give him two more. Let's see. Shout out to the two crew Honestly, we should maybe put him back in keychain more. Yeah, he might be more effective That's how do you like? Would it be a D4 if I threw a keychain at someone? No, you've got to hold it like in your fist like you're walking to a parking lot No, I'm more effective this way. I promise. Just give me one more chance.

I believe in you, Kichain Hot. That's a five. Yep, that misses as well. All right. For auto. Kichain lost his entire like crew of his of his ship. Perhaps he's in some sort of mourning. Well, we're in the past right now.

So he hasn't lost anything. Oh, right. He should be defending his ship. Well, we're in the past right now. So he hasn't lost anything Right, he should be defending his shit. Wait, maybe you're right. Are there two of you now? Is there another key chain? Oh my gosh Oh my god, I keep that door closed If I see another key chain, I'm going to puke and I met robot so I cannot puke And it'll be confused because your name wasn't key to you So I cannot puke. And it'll be confused because your name wasn't Keychained by then. You hear outside the door. What is that I hear?

It sounds like me. Nope, just Keychain. Oh god, this is hell. I have to open to portal to hell. Two Keychains get me out of here. If only I wasn't so injured from this battle. I have a big sword through my head. I'm seeing double.

Two Keychains. from this battle, I have a big sword through my head. I'm seeing double, two key chains. Okay, I think that, oh, Onyx is your turn again. Okay. Attack the mommy moth. Does A16 hit, no, it doesn't. It doesn't, no. Goddamn. This is a tough moth.

I'm also going to bonus action, hex. Hex, what do you do? It, wait, let me see. Hex means that if I ever hit, I'll add an extra D6. Okay. But it also has disadvantage on ability checks with one chosen ability. Mm.

Let's say, does anyone have anything that uses a saving throw? All right, fuck it. I'm just gonna give a disadvantage to Dex so hopefully it falls on its ass. That fuck it. I'm just gonna give it disadvantage to Dex, so hopefully it falls on its ass. There is, yeah, do you want to roll and see if there's any jam in the room? Yeah, I did. Let's do a jam check. A jam check? Um, 16.

There's definitely some jam in this room. I don't know you people. I held it in the captain. What are you people eating? Does jam even keep that up? It is odd because we found no jam in the kitchen? Listen, we're really busy. It's only been on the floor. For full meals, we just snack a lot. Yeah, we didn't find any bread either. No.

You guys eat it out of the jar, you maniac? What do I do? You guys like a sweet soup? To do is take a pretzel rod and just dip it in there. Okay, okay. Okay, that sounds... I'm hungry for in there. Okay, okay. Okay. That sounds, I'm hungry for jam now. Sweet, savory, sweet.

Nice, scoop some of that new jar if you don't mind. Yes, brother. Be careful, don't slip on it. Nack, do you want to do that or do you want to take your turn? I'll do the jam thing. No, I'm gonna, so Nack is going to cast Hunter's Mark. Okay. On the, on the Moth Mama.

Ooh, what does that do? It's cursed, it's marked. It's cursed to Mark. It's the first time we could hit it. It's my Ranger, I get to do an extra D6 of damage. Nice. If I actually hit it. So I'm going to fire my bow after doing

a really slow summer assault. Nice. 22, 22. Woo! summer salt. Nice. 22. 22. Woo! That hit. Yes. How many darn rich points?

Let's see. Do I take? Do I do a D, a D, a D? Give it to me. Do you do an extra D, a two or a D6? I do a D6. Come on, bud. Fuck up my mouth.

So that is nine plus 12 damage. Okay, yeah, so they're looking a little hurt. Some blood is dripping out of their beautiful snow white fur. Ooh. And Jens, it's your turn. Sweet. I hear the crystal in my head

and I wanna smear that blood in my head. I'll continue painting like the artist that I am. Painting you red, that is, with blood. Yes. If I survive this you red that is with blood. Yes. If I survive this I'm gonna have 20. Oh, yeah. That's 20? Yeah.

First man. No, this is second. I'm gonna use a defensive first. He quit twice. Oh, that's right, holy shit. I'm in defensive lures before it's you. You're fucking up this moth. I'm very emotional.

Yeah. You are a burning flame and the moth has drawn to you. I freaking binked it when I saw a rat and I rolled the one but since then Oh, I'm just looking now. I'm just looking at the poster of my dad the whole time. Yeah Seven 15 damage and then I'm gonna take my off attack Ah, no good you are quite a strong chandelier. Thank you. Okay, that's my turn.

I missed on my second one. And now it's Mother Morath's turn. And she mad, and you have the crystal, and she's gonna try and eat you with a big ol' bite. Cool. She bears her teeth. As I mentioned, her teeth are multicolored crystals, and they flicker and glow like different colored Christmas lights.

Don't. I really like them. No, no. Absolutely not. What's her breath like? Is it like cold like a crystal? I have just I have 18 AC now. 18 AC flourish.

Oh, damn, only 12. Yeah, she misses. Nice. Cool. Nice. She chumps right in your face, and it she misses. Nice. Cool. Nice. Uh, she chumps right in your face, uh, and it smells a little bit like lavender. Oh.

Okay. Ooh. I take a, with no one else looking, I take a sniff. Don't you want to live inside me? And then we can live inside of my big, goopy cave? Wouldn't that be nice? Uh, mm, I'll pass for now. Nothing is nicer than our studio apartment we shared together.

Yeah, if Jens is coming in there, he's coming with two roommates. Otto, keychain, screams. You, here cannot live inside you, because we are going to all live together. No, I'm not going to live inside. You're going to be on the key. Honestly. Yeah, we did! We gave him a new name and it was a new beginning.

That's true. Perhaps if he moves in, we can split the rent two ways. All right, well, get in here, job. Selling hot dogs. Good. Yes. So finally, someone good trivia. Thank you, Keychain.

Hitting and paying rent. I couldn't ask for more from a roommate. Okay, all right. so, wow, shit. I guess, I don't know how this would work for like a drone stats. Maybe it just gets an extra attack? For a crit? Yeah. They just get to roll whatever, twice whatever dice they know

really well. So if the first attack is like a D6, they would just roll 2D6 and then add their modifier once. So that's five on the first tier. All right. Yeah. All right. And then add it up. You still got two more attacks.

Cool. Second attack misses. That's all right, Keychain. You're proving yourself worthy. No. You had pizzazz, and that's what's important. I am the breadwinner. I will win all the bread.

No, you're not. You can win half of the bread. I am the new daddy. I will bring home all the jam and bacon. First of all, there's only one daddy on my point of the bread. I am the new daddy. I will bring home all the jam and bacon first of all There's only one daddy point to the poster He's all of our daddy. Okay, that is my dad as well. No next attack hits. Yeah, all righty Ooh for us nine damage total sweet

All right, oh boy this moth is not looking good. Kill them off. No, please. I just want those shinies inside me. Killer Onyx. OK, it's a nice turn. Killer with a shiny, it'll be beautiful. Oh god, damn it. 14 is 14 gonna hit.

All right, Onyx, we'll just jump out the window. Oh. Yes, catch rest. Alright, Onyx just jumps out the window. Oh! Yes, catch rise. Alright, yeah. Oh, it's Jinsus turn again. I'll shoot my bow at the moth. Are you gonna roll? Yeah.

Do it all. Oh, I thought you were jumping. No, guys, yeah, dude, I'm gonna run left by neck. No, no, no. Nayak runs and sort of doesn't really, you know, like when you jump for a football and you don't really need to jump for the football? I'm not.

He sort of like, just runs. Like, he runs across the room that doesn't really, really tiny jump. Plant your feet when you shoot your bow. That's four. You do the Brad Pitt and Troy. You do something like hop. You do that, but you just beef it. I get a splitter in my barefoot. I know exactly what you're talking about

Don't do it with a bow It's your turn again. All right Me and Jen we are the bread winners here Miss on the first one come on off hands Yes, I hit And why not I'll do one more defensive on off hands. Yes! I hit. Um, and why not? I'll do one more defensive Flores my last one for the day. Yeah! Um, my dad winks at you.

What? Heh heh. Nice. 14 damage. 14 damage! Uh, okay. Jens. Finish her.

Oh yeah! Okay, um, I do her. Oh yeah, okay. I do the exact dance that my father did. It was a minute long. It's just very involved in everything. My father's dancing was like, quasi-mort respect for the mind, but I'm looking at him the whole time

and I do a beautiful dance. And then instead of getting my head chopped off, I chop, she doesn't have a head. She's got a head, cool. It's an insect, it's got like segmented body. I chop her head off. No! And then I pal.

Jen, it seems as though you were taking revenge on someone for something they didn't do. I know, I was paying tribute, this is all beautiful, but what a beautiful way to die. I jump in and I sheer the moth and make a coat of it. Beautiful golden cheeks. Oh, how they shimmered. How they shimmered.

And then the moth dies. The last words from a decapitated head. Wait, Onyx, are you doing another costume change? Yeah, I'm just layering on costume. This is so good. You have a beautiful month. I sure. You have like a fur coat?

Yes. I'm gonna say, yeah, wait. I definitely look like a pimp now. It's awesome. Yeah, you know what? Let's say that it still works. You can, once a day, I'll let you roll a D4 and do a spell array. A mothray. That's awesome. Oh, yeah. I'll let you roll a D4 and do a spell array, a math array.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, You have the crystal. Here's what happens next. Great. The door burst open and the three crew members burst in. And they're looking a little roughed up, but they're still alive. Because you went back in time and when a rast abandoned ship, his men went with him. Can we save the captain? Yeah. Oh yeah, do you want to run over to the captain? Yeah, we'll do it later. Don't have heels, but I'll do it again. I'll give her a very tender neck massage.

Do you have any? I'll give her, I think I still have. I'll work the feet. First of all, back. You're, you have great taste. You're a fan of fine swordsmen. And I heal. Thank you.

Healer with a cheat. She, as you heal her, she kind of like leans into your ear. It says, you didn't, you didn't find anything in the freezer did you? No, okay good. Oh, so I have some very special spinach in there. It's I have a special diet Yeah, if you didn't if you didn't find anything that's cool. That's no I was burned. I was burned here you're an amazing storyteller You have a gift. I ain't much to share it. Thank you. She closes her eyes and the rest, which is a thank you. I ripped the, because she has the poster of my father,

I do rip the story I was gonna steal from her out of my journal. And I crumple it up and I throw it out the window with the plant. Oh, oh. Hey, where's my plant? Where's Otto? Oh.

There's two Otto's now. Oh, yeah. You can have Otto, but we get to keep keychain. Suddenly, the other Otto, still with a big sore throat, who was at birth to the room. Oh, my goodness. I have a brother. Brother, come here. You are my baby brother.

If there's anything I've learned, brotherhood is the most special of bonds Wouldn't you say Jens brother brother brother brother brother brother brother brother brother I just stand there and accept it the two the two auto start bouncing on the down and going brother brother brother brother brother brother brother brother. I'm not the best button on the back of this side. I don't really know what happened or why there's two autos, but yeah, you can keep that one honestly and keep the crystal and whatever reward comes with it. And also I guess, man, you really have saved the day here. If you wouldn't mind taking the chronoscoper back

with you is, wait a minute. What? You all look around. And you don't see it anymore. Oh, you know who took it. All you see is a small note on the desk, written in the same ghostly blue graffiti you saw earlier. What?

Zee-maw. Dang! Watching y'all work is such a treat. Also, I'm taking this scoopy thing. Hope that's cool. Can't wait to work with y'all again real soon. Bye, sweeties. Okay, I wanna write a note

because I feel like he's watching us all the time. So I write a note and I crumple it up and I pass it to you guys each individually. And it just says, I don't know about this Z guy or girl. The Z character. Yeah, they're, yeah, they're not cool. Shh, don't say that. The note vanishes in a puff of blue flame.

My note that I wrote. No, no, no, no. Oh, they're not. Okay, your note is crumpled up in garbage. Z is note does that. Z person. And you notice this down on the desk, but for some reason nobody else can see it, which is weird.

And Taylor kind of just frowns. That's strange. I guess I must have gotten eaten and absorbed by the moth queen. Oh well, that's probably for the best. I think we're all better off without having access to such a powerful relic. No, our willing, it's gone for good.

And at that moment, your coins buzz. I'm blowing up. Yes, will. This is Blavin reporting in. This is very strange. I just got a reading saying that you three were thousands of feet in the air. Did I get drunk and accidentally send you

on a mission again? Yes, we're from the future. Oh my God. I feel like I'm drunker than I thought I was. Does this mean that there is versions of us? That we've double-bought for ourselves? You want to go kill ourselves? Yes. There can only be one of us. There's a code for this. You need to stay where you are. Just Legalow. You do not want to get caught in a recursive loop.

We've got textbooks on this. This is not good. This is just textbook a bad idea. So just chill and we'll meet up. I guess maybe on the Weasern coast. How does that sound? I just already lit up a blonde. And I went to get the ice cream for the

freezer. I'm just thinking about how beautiful it would be if he doled himself. My god. I'm just going to need to write a story about this if I can't do it. You hear Blavin barfing a little bit. So yeah, Blavin was still very confused, but you know, you explained it to him. He's slightly familiar with like weird time travel stuff because the benefit of us a lot of weird relics. So y'all lay low on the ship for a week and then you meet up with Blavin again on the beach. And again, oh yeah, but I guess before that, yeah, you say goodbye to everyone on the

crew. You've probably gotten to know him pretty well at this point. I was working out in that home gym. Oh yeah, you and Rimm, yeah. Do you think you can, oh, do it again, give me three. You got it, seven, 13, two. Keep working out of buddy. Ah!

Rimm gives you some tips. And yeah, maybe that'll be your thing. Maybe you'll put a gem into the apartment. Maybe you and Keke Jane can start working out. Up on the roof. So, um, at the end of a nice week of relaxation on the SS Sun Killer, your coins buzz again, and it is definitely time to get going. You wave farewell and touch the crystal to your coins.

In a flash, you're aboard the Benefactor Slope, which is back on the ocean surface, or I guess it was never there, time is a confusing thing. Blavin takes the crystal after a brief inspection, packages it in the same translucent magic stone as before. Now that that's out of the way, it's time for a punch. In one hand, Blav holds up his magical puncher, and in the other hand, he holds up a big picture of Rump Punch.

You can have fun without alcohol, Blavin. I could go for a drink. We've been having this, you know, it's always tough coming back from vacation, you know? This one more vacation day. I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation in my room. Thank you. Blavin, Blavin' understands. So, Flavin' adds a second hold to your curry cards

and gives you 10 more gold. Yeah. As the Emerald Surf. He brings my total to 21, brother. Yeah, I wouldn't check the pouch. As the Emerald Surf churns underneath you, the setting sun paints the Seeru Cloudlands into a masterpiece of purple, scarlet, and gold.

You all clink your copper mugs and watch as the SS sunkiller plows proudly through the sky once again. And then you make it back to the shore and it's time for the ebolog, I already. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. It is night in Trinneville once more. Palos and Pollock's guide your slupe back to the shore as you all stumble home Jens give me one last perception check hmm

Fuck me shout out to the doo girl. No So you don't notice anything, but someone notices you deep deep in the brush Rast looks at you. A fresh scar haunting his tired face. But it isn't hate on his face. It looks like he wants to tell you something. But instead, he puts his mask back on. Any vanishes.

And that's where we'll end our session. 1 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 Open this door in a large, tail in knocked on the door at Nalar's room again. Being the only mortal living in an apartment full of gods was hard enough, but living with a god who just got dumped was almost impossible. Taylor kept knocking, secretly thinking that since Nalar was now single, today might be her chance to make a move. Suddenly, Nalar responded, I'm never opening the door again. I'm going to stay in here until I can build a machine that makes me not feel things ever again Taylor started to respond but was interrupted by a loud groan from Leant

Come on, Nelly get out of there. We're all gonna go get ice cream you lame-o Leant walked over to the door and started pounding on it. If you don't open this door I'm gonna rip it off its hinges. She grabbed the door knobnob and pulled it as hard as she could. As the door jerked open, Taylor noticed that there was a string attached to the top corner. Leont, wait! But it was too late. The door swung open, pulling a string and triggering a can of whipped cream to fire directly on Leont. What the freak is this? Leont exclaimed, wiping the cream off her brow. Wait a minute. Nettos, did you do this? At that moment, Nettos appeared from their hiding place. Gacha, Leont wiped a sticky cream from her forehead.

What's the big idea, she growled. Well, said Nettos, I figured Nellar could use a little cheering up. And you were right, said Nellar, emerging from his room, a huge smile on his face. Ah, cheer for this, you weeners! Shouted Leon, grabbing the whipped cream can. Before they could react, Nalar and Nados were covered in the cloud-like cream.

Taylor laughed. You three sure know how to make the best of a sticky situation. All three gods laughed loudly and threw whipped cream at Taylor. After that, they all stripped naked and had wild, unprotected sex. Wee-ee! The End!