Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 20: Pricks & Princes

Episode Date: July 11, 2020

The Triplets head to the high elven city of Illivas in search of a divine relic as well as some much-needed royal redemption. Onyx thrills with familiars, Nyack is attacked by snacks & Jens rekindles a friendship as the hunt for the Sacred Relics continues! Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design & Engineering by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG) and Kei Matsuo (@Nightsharkss on Twitter).MUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford"Sweeping Up the Shards" by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "Road to Silverado" by Daniel Ramos"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Wisdom of Neddas" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinaville. Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville.

Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. Oh, Trinaville. He's a world. Unflagable. Do you mean unflapable? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm unflagable and unflapable. Just try. Did you mean turdous? Try to put me at half-masked.

I dare you. I'm a beautiful flag and I'm flapping in the breeze. This adds up. He said it on purpose. You've been flabbed. You flabbed and flabbed. Okay, actually, that's a beautiful metaphor. But poetry already.

Yeah, fuck. My world is crumbling. A world, in fact, full of mysterious relics, powerful weapons, and a surprisingly large amount of inflatable saxophone. Mm-hmm. That's right. It is a true adventurer's paradise. Today's story begins on the sultry shores of Daggerast, where a lovable party ape is bidding

farewell to his new friends. Having successfully launched a lifestyle brand, Wilton heads back to Vayna Lart to begin building his media empire. Oh dear, I'm sure he'll do fine. I like how the message of this is just social media is power. The cloud is good. Oh, keep that flag up. Cloud style baby 2020.

Lift the life. Brands are good. What's up y'all? Brands are good. What's up guys? This is called a tenor from dad five just saying. Brands are good. Especially vitamin ones.

Trust them, respect them. Meanwhile, in the Elven city of Ilavos, Blavin' Blanfoot searches for the whereabouts of a godly artifact known as the Garland of Stars. Will our heroes manage to collect all three sacred relics and awaken the hidden god? Or will they awaken themselves and realize they passed out on the beach without putting on sunscreen?

Both, most likely both. I think Nia Gezioli, one who has sunscreen, I come from the moon, so we are actually very quite good with like reflecting the sun. Let's see what I'm resistant to today. Acid. Ha ha ha. Acid. Nice. Well, unless the sun does something real weird, you should be fine, but only time will tell.

And so without further ado, let's rejoin, Retrieval team 22, and begin chapter 20 of the Trinaville Adventure. Woohoo! Yeah! Hello friends, and welcome back to the table. I am your Dungeon Master, aka Dunkel, called Waltaner, and I am so happy to be joined by Jens Lindell, dance performer who makes aunts hornier. That was honestly a real sweaty one.

You know. But I actually have a sweaty one too. Annex Lumiere, stealer of the souls of cakes in all way. You asked for it. In service of the party ape. You cannot call mine sweaty and then do that. I also said minus sweaty too. Look, I actually like it a little sweaty. You do that. I also said a minus sweaty too. Look, I actually like it a little sweaty, you know, if I'm mean.

Mine is a light mist of sweat and you have sweated out all of your body sugar. You need a gatorade. Yeah, I think it's kind of fun when it gets a little sweaty. Okay, go wipe off your pit stains as Nyak Stern. Nyak, a fan of a lady named Katie. Nyak's a fan of four. Oh, terrible. That was so simple. I really loved it.

Look, you're so sweet. It was really, it was fucking scrambling while you guys were going. That's why I didn't make fun of either of you. I thought he was kind of classic, you know? Nyak, could you get me some crushed ice? Of course. Yeah, real quick, I take my mall and I hit some ice. I actually got some gated.

You actually needed to be more crushed like the ice from Sonic. I slide tackle Onyx and I bring Katie the cup of ice. Ha ha ha ha. Ah, y'all, there will be plenty of time to impress Katie later. But for now, how about a quick recap of our last episode? Let's do it.

Yes. Fantastic. So, when last we met, you three headed to the desert city of Daggerast to both hunt down one of the divine relics needed to awaken the hidden god, and also to party down with your friend Zee and Norwalk at their wedding. Ho ho! While at their hersel dinner, you learn that the wedding's catering staff had actually been rescued from a cult by Norwalk and Z a few days prior, and we're now working the

event as a way of showing their gratitude. You also learn that this event was being attended by none other than Wilton, aka the party ape himself. You all became fast friends. Just- I just remember Wilton. Laughing, thinking about him being so unprepared. I just truly know nothing about the wedding

that he was supposedly seeing. You all became fast friends, and in order to help Wilton's reputation, decided to investigate the caterers to make sure they weren't planning on ruining the wedding. After doubling back to the venue, Onyx used her lunar intuition to discern that the caterers weren't captured by a cult, but in fact, were BB slaves working for Mercurio, aka coin aka cash.

To mitigate any issues at the wedding, Jinz implanted a symbol spell on a worker's rights brooch, then headed back to the hotel. You invited Wilton to crash with you, then watched as he too was able to suck a parasitic BB life form out of his own ass. I love this show so much. The next day at the wedding, you all did your best to win over Zian Norwalk's friends and family.

Nyak showed off his new tattoo in the photo booth, Onak strung up some party ape lights, and Jins did an incredibly sexy, incredibly secular dance to help light the ceremonial blood pie. Once it was lit, Zian Norwalk placed their hands in the fire to consecrate their love, and then the silver back of Rana 4 declared them wed. However, the celebration was briefly interrupted when, during the reception, Cash activated his BB soldiers and forced them to try and kidnap the silverback. To make matters worse, the cake turned out to be a giant ooze monster as well.

Oh no! And so, everyone, including the silverback, launched into battle. Thanks to Jen's symbol spell and the help of the wedding guest, you were able to make quick work of the caterers and cakesters. As the battle ended, the Silverback, noticing how far and I can come, as well as how far he still has to go. Definitely.

Made him his official apprentice and gifted the half-elf his Silverbow. With the wedding back on track, Onyxlint Wilton, her class co-platform, and helped to get party ape-trending worldwide. You then got Zian Norwalk, who would become the flame split in Twain, to help hatch the egg.

Recognizing the flame of Leont, the egg began to crack, and you were treated to a vision of Leont battling an Orcas champion and subsequently founding the city of Daggerast. Afterward, the hidden god whispered in your minds, and thanked you for your efforts. beyond battling an Orcas champion and subsequently founding the city of Daggerast. Afterward the hidden god whispered in your minds and thanked you for your efforts. As the wedding came to a close, you pondered what your next mission would be and where

on this big blue cube it would take you. So that's where we are now. So you are all still in Daggerast. Most of the wedding guests of Gone Home, Zian Norwalk, have departed for their honeymoon, but you find yourselves kind of waiting for intel from either Blavvon or Keith, who are kind of your two point people

in the other primal realms. They're going ahead and doing some investigation. So you've kind of got like some time to kill and dagger ass before your next mission, if there's anything you want to do. I would like to query Saul of the cake. Because I have stolen its soul, I may query it about his life experience and receive a brief telepathic answer, which I understand regardless of the language used. So for the purpose of this, I do speak cake.

I want to know where it was made. Where was I made? Very interesting question. I was crafted by Korn in his celestial kitchen. Oh, okay. Specifically for Sabatage. Okay, so there was not a baker working in tandem with Korn in this location. One of the caterers did have a BB inside them, yes, and they were working with corn, but-

Okay, so it was a simple possession. Okay. I think this is all BB business. Yes. Just wanted to be clear there was no conspiracy. It's big time BB business, maybe. Don't you be worried about it. Wow.

Okay. You could tell that that cake is successful. Okay. Wow. Okay. You could tell that that cake is successful. I would call myself a bit of a cake entrepreneur. How does that does that have a ring to it? Yes. Really turn off this old cage. Yeah, I actually only get one brief telepathic answer because I'm going to use the rest of my borrowing stuff from him to get an advantage on stuff. Would you like to try something? I'm actually pretty good.

Okay, actually, I guess I'll use this in an ability to shut him up. I'm just kidding, I don't, they're precious. Cool. The cake, which I'm picturing in my head, looks like a Hintzins creature studio sort of thing, just like a big gooey pile with a mouth. It goes back to sleep. Awesome. Yeah, so you've gleaned from this cake that there is no conspiracy throughout the town. Yes, coins sent this cake to try and capture the silverback because the silverback of course has some of Nidasa's essence inside him and coin is trying to get as much of that good stuff as he can before he launches his final attack.

Okay. Wow. I see. Okay. Well, I need to grab a shower after my extremely sweaty dance. Yes. I did my best to fan you, brother, but you seem to have broken a sweat indeed. Yes, you failed. Yes, brother.

I'm gonna do a role to see if they're cleaning the room. I got a nat 20. Whoa, does that mean they just cleaned it and refresh towels and soaps? I think it does. Great, I think they gave you extra soaps. That's good. Windsor used all our soap last time. I think they gave you extra soaps. That's good. Windsor used all our soap last time.

I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick. Just in case Windsor comes by and decides to steal all our stuff. Oh, hey, that was Wilton's Pharisee. I think Windsor is Wilton's like probably CFO at this point. He's, you know, like on team party ape, really helping out with the big picture stuff. So the few weeks before that whole company collapsed.

But for now, I'm very happy for them. It's a house of cards. Verlis is so upset that he's dead and couldn't fund the party ape in a press. Anyway, I get out of the shower and I've used every single towel. I have like two up in my hair, one around my waist, one around my chest, and like two on each hand. And I just sit across from you guys and go, okay, so where next? I just need a quick,

I'm gonna splash some sink water like under my armpits and run it through my hair. I'm like, okay, I'm ready now too. I do nothing. The others, all disgusting. I pop a stick of gum. Somehow that's enough.

Doesn't affect your massive persuasion score at all. You know, the stink kind of helps with persuasion. It's natural pheromones. I don't know why so many people discourage them. You're just talking way too close to a person in the lobby as you say this. Cool. So as you're all sitting in your hotel room, getting clean, getting pretty, Onyx, your speaking stone starts buzzing. I look at the color ID.

It is from a scrambled number for security reasons. the color ID. It is from a scrambled number for security reasons. Okay, I answered. Is it first time or what? It is if you want it to be. I don't. Hello, this is Alex Lumiere. Hi, hello, it is I, Blavin Blanfoot. Please, then charm to meet you. Oh, we've met a bunch. Are you, how drunk are you right now, Blavin'? Huh?

Yeah, are you drunk or are you just kind of like a person who does not tell voices? Do FaceTime. Can you click the video? Start video. Okay, I click the video. I'd rather not honestly. I'm in decent at the moment.

I somehow force it to be a video. I'd rather not honestly. I'm I'm indecent at the moment. I somehow force it to be a video. Your camera was on. Can I burn a spell slot to make a video? I have one left. Blavin and his parasite nivalb are both in the bathtub. You see nivalb is on like a tiny little inner tube and blavin is just surrounded by empties. Oh, okay. Seems like. Inner tube in the bathtub. You could have called them. These are from a couple days ago.

I just never cleaned. Yeah. Does that make it better? No, it's worse. Yeah, it makes it a little more sad. You got to get a stick of gum in my mouth. Anyway, we're not really expecting the face time, but here we go. He stands up for a moment and puts on a bathrobe. Oh, I shield Katie's innocence. Katie is not even

paying attention. Katie's nursing a massive hangover. Ah, she still looks so good, though, right? Katie had two sticks of gum and is looking great. So anyway, um- Can we say that I put her in like a colander and like, ran water over? I put an alka seltzer on top of Katie. It like fizzles and melts inside her. Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

Hair of the dog. I can't wear a good scrubbing. Onyx could you get me a bloody marry with four crab claws? What? Oh four crab because absolutely. And an entire BLT sticking out of it. And an entire BLT. She's not going to eat that onyx. So it's just going to be a waste. That's just going to be food waste. You know what? This is fine though because I actually know a place that does a quarter BLT just on the side so I'll get four of those. She's not even gonna put all over it. She's not gonna have the one. That's, that's, that's is fun. This is a good use of my time. Okay. I'll see you. Okay. Flavin. Hi, I'll take on X's phone. She's going. She's just, okay. She's leaving. What's going on? She's gone. She's gonna go down. I put it in as an order to room service. I call out the window.

I want to do it. I'm speed walking down the street trying to give us order. It's as possible. As you're going, she screams, and he's meant from Olive Garden from Olive Garden specifically Okay, great. I saw one on the other skirts of town and it's a big town So yeah, you see blavin like is listening to on excreaming from off camera and is like anyway I've got great news for you all I think I've figured out what the garland of stars refers to. Great. However, I probably shouldn't say over the phone.

You don't know who might be listening, with all the bugging that's kind of gone on throughout our history. I don't think it would be wise to reveal this information. But if you could make it to Ilivas as soon as possible, I can fill you in on the details. Yes, we're literally going around spying all of Garden Takeout for bugs. I would say we have the time. Excuse me, the endies minutes are free. I'm just gonna go grab a handful.

Not takeout. Oh, could you get me some chicken carbonara if you go there? No. Okay, fair enough, I understand. Well, I'm gonna get back in the tub. This bathrobe was all for show. So just text me when you get here, I suppose. And then we'll take it from there, gang.

Sound good? All right, we'll do, Blavin. Take care of yourself. Yes, just throw the cans out. Try to dry out a little bit. We'll be there soon Maybe don't go back in the tub. How about that? Anyway

Cool so now we cut over to all of Garden for the next two hours I'm majoring the entire and these minutes at the hostest stand And I run please do a slight of hand for me. Okay, I'm going to use my cake sold to do it with advantage. Okay, I quit. That's the second time we've quit reaching for mints. Fuck it is. So for a lord for a found we ridiculous I'm gonna roll a D100 to see how many minutes you get oh my god Actually you can roll that that's more fun 73 Epic epic take away Actually, you can roll that. That's more fun. 73. Oh, epic.

Epic takeaway. Oh, what a score. The heist of the century. Onyx just shows up at 4 in the morning. She had to just walk to the other side of the city. There's a police helicopter outside the window. And I say we need to leave. They call you the great mint bandit, the minty bandit. helicopter outside the window. And I say we need to leave.

They call you the great mint bandit, the minty bandit. Damn, thanks, Onyx. Katie, are you still hungry? No, I'm okay. I had that made it but those. Okay. Where are we going? Uh, I may have heard something as I was running away that he discovered the garland of stars. Are we not gonna call it a starland?

It feels like. Oh, I'm so sorry. That has not even been brought up yet. It's been on my mind for a long time. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I've been talking about it for hours since you left. It's literally all he's talked about. I'm starting to think I should start talking to Katie.

He just has something different to talk about. Not those. Did Blavin say he knows where the silence Yes, but he wouldn't tell us over the phone. It's not so natural So we need to go talk to him about the starland and hopefully he's gotten out of the tub Okay, great Did you ask him how old that bathwater was? It looked ancient and he went right back into it and it did not look like he was draining it. So it was great. It was great. It was great. Yeah, I don't know.

I need, I simply need to go to bed. It looks like sludge. I won't be able to sleep. Okay, I go to bed. I also go to bed. I lay awake and think about blusher bathwater for four hours. You all go to bed Lay low as the police helicopter's life of head searching for the minty bandit and in the morning You prepare to depart for Ilavos Is there anything else you want to do? Are you ready to go? I think we're ready to go are we? I would just take it like a jet blue or? I could really go for some Terracotta chips. You do of course have this dimensional door knob,

which we used to get to the airport. Yes, it connects all the airports of Trinavale. Yeah, okay, we dimension, we dimension all door knob to another airport. Does it take us past security? You need to get the pre-check dimensional doorknob? This is barely better than an Uber. Okay.

So we'll get, you know, we still have two hours, but that's, we should get there two hours early. Yeah, someone, someone at security, patch you down, grabs the dimensional doorknob, it says, what's this? That is a dimensional doorknob, that's what allowed us to get here it's a teleportation device that only allows us to get to different airports very well of course sir have a good day

I also have two sports enjoy your swords thank you you're doing God's mysterious glowing crystal and several souls and terrariums. At least I showed up not wearing shoes. I go sit at the chileys to go for an hour and a half. That's the chileys to stay brother. Thank you. Jen's is drunk so he laughs at that. Not I cry it's a down in his journal.

Jen's late, that joke later. That I can cross it as a cut too. Cool, so you have a lovely flight across this beautiful cube known as Trinaville and eventually you make it to Ilivos which is this sleepless city that glows like a neon riven del. On all sides gleaming skyscrapers and ornate bridges rise atop an intricate highway of brightly lit waterfalls. Within the city, windows glisten with the latest Elven fashion, and humble merchants, hawk potions made from the freshest star bananas you've ever tasted. Jins, you are home.

Jins, shivers. Cool, so yeah, you text Blavin, I imagine, or is there anything else you wanna do before, do you wanna get your bearings, do you wanna text Blavin? Yeah, I will text Blavin, then we are coming. Cool, I think Jens is trying to get to business because the last time he was here, he was just, you know, kind of thrown out of the city or accidentally stabbing a prince.

So he's not super looking for, I think he's doing like the celebrity out at brunch look of just like really big sunglasses. Very cool. Which is how Katie dresses all the time. It's just drawing more attention to him because people are going to think that he's famous even though nobody cares or knows who he is. Niaq does clock that there's a store that has last year's fashion and that looks like

what Jen's wearing. What are you looking at? I heard that says last season and it's your same shirt pants. It says pre-thrift. Okay, but these things are cyclical and they come back. So if anything, I am. Yeah, usually in about 10 years, it's kind of like a decade thing

that's how cycles kind of work. Or if you're in on it early, then I'm hip. Whoa, think about it. Okay, I'm so sorry, the logic didn't work on that one. I accept that as a universal truth. Uh, Jens, you see two Elvish teens walk by and they just look at your knee high boots and go

knee highs I've notched my arrow and I pointed at the back of their head say the worst brother. I can see your knees You scantily clad teams get out of here Knees are for you the team list is shorts to reveal tattoos on his knees that say fuck and you and then you what misty steps away Oh, that must be so painful Those teens are so aggressive Do not pull after the teams Later oldie those damn teens and their capris shown off their knees

Gents Shakes his fist at the air. I screened coward at the sky. I hate this place. So while you're wandering around getting harassed by teens, you see they're everywhere. This is a very young city dance. That's why I had to get out. Oh, so you like aged out of it?

I matured out of it. Is more like it? Yeah, yeah. No, that's what I meant. Yeah, you do notice that it is strange for an ageless population. How many 14 to 17 year olds there are here? It must have been a baby boom or something. So yeah, as you're wandering around,

just getting absolutely dunked on by teens, you see a halfling in a sweat suit, jogs up to you. Oh, hey, was just out for my daily morning jog. Yep, just exercising, keeping it loose. You know, every day this is my routine, new me, new body. That's the blavin' way. Cool, congratulations on your first jog.

I can see the tags, which is why I know. What? So is it a routine or is it new? It's a new routine in the fact that it's always been my routine, but you gotta make it new. You gotta find ways to keep it fresh it fresh is what it's all about. Those shoes are literally spotless, Blavin. They're so fresh.

They hanger still in the shirt. Blavin, I will be very honest. You have anger hanging on. I am furious that me and my beautiful Nehyboots has been harassed all morning by teens and I'm not seeing anyone making fun of you. I turned into nearby teens. He's right here. What about this one?

So got the tags. Whoa, cool tags. All the teens pull out tags on their shirts as well. It's the fashion. Can I do some like, transdagramming of like street fashion? Because I know that's like a genre. But I wanna do like a couple posts that are like these cool teens.

And then one of like, Jens and Blavin sort of just absolutely roasting them. What? It's just for the likes, Jens. I understand. Yeah. You see the teen walks up to you and then just like pantomimes with his hand, he like puts his hand on the bottom near your foot and then rises it all the way up to where the top of your knee high boot is. And then he just kind of like mugs for the camera and then goes, FOOF, FOOF, FOOF, FOOF, and then cartwheels away. Oh, I wish I took a video.

I hate anyone who's not exactly my age, which is like 68. I forget a little bit. You're 120 something. I thought you were 48. Did you lie before? I, you know, at a certain point, you tell so many people so many things it's hard to keep track.

Blavin, what the fuck is going on? Where's the goddamn Starland? Okay, okay, let's go to my favorite juice bar, which I go to all the time, you know, I'll get my regular there. What are you doing? I slap Lavon, are you Lavon? What are you? I'm on edge. Can I do an inside check on Lavon? Yeah. Okay 18. I see Jen's is nervous, so I do an inside check. She seems like Lavon was trying to slightly improve his life, but more so trying to make you think that he was improving his life. Okay, just take us to a bar, man.

Oh, would that be okay? Yes, thank God, okay. Why start now? He unzips his sweat clothes and reveals that he's wearing his bathroom from the hotel room. Disgusting, let's do it, okay, come on. He walks over to a nearby wine bar and orders a bottle for the table.

All right, let's get down to it. The Starland. Here's what I learned. It's a crown given to the chosen heir of Ilavos. In this case, that would be Prince Aster. Hmm. I don't know if you're too familiar with him. He's actually coming of age, and as his elephant tradition,

shall be declared as the official future sovereign of Ilavos. And the ceremony, this is very serendipitous, is actually being held tonight. I know where the coronation is happening. I can take us there when the time is right. I don't know exactly how we're going to get in. It seems like it's mostly a nobles and friends and family sort of event. But I do know where it is, so we can take it from there. Blavin, may I ask you a question? Of course.

Or perhaps Jen, you might have the answer for this. What sort of service vibe around this castle? Do they use familiar? Jim, yeah, you would know this. Why don't you give me a history check. See what your familiarity with is with familiar. Good Lord. Nine. Nine. Uh, Jin's thinks of all people as familiar. It's a lot of blurry faces when I was there because I was dancing, so... But yes, this is the Prince that I, that I stabbed by accident.

That honestly it was, it was his fault if I could be completely honesty. Yes. This is the Prince that ran into your sword like an idiot brother. There you go. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You stabbed the prince? I pricked the prince. It was a little prick.

What? You assaulted the prince. I did not assault the prince. I was doing a sword dance. Okay, okay. And the prince walked out during the dance. And you know, there's, it's like if you walk on stage during Cirque du Soleil, you might get kicked in the head. And they have insurance for that. Was it coordinated that he was going to walk out onto the stage?

No, that did. Look, this little Prince thinks that just because it's, it's, it's their birthday that it's allowed to you know Go around and walk out in the middle of people's sword dances. You don't want to do that. You really don't want to do that Yes, exactly. It's common sense Blavin fills his wine glass all the way to the very tip top and then just kind of like clamps his head on it We're supposed to split that. Okay. This is going to be a little more difficult than I thought, but you know what? We can work with it. This is just an audible bit of a toss up a screw ball, but you know what, we got this gang.

So yeah. I guess what I'm trying to say is if they have any sort of familiar at this castle, we can always be the handlers of this familiar and show up to sort of deliver them. So, okay, so you mean like a familiar, isn't like a pet for the print or something like that? Yes, I was not sure because some royalty kind of hang on to animal companions, or perhaps they have, you know, I guess it would not be Kufa of a of it royalty to, yes, okay, so never mind. Well, there's a precedent in this world of caterers just kind of being able to walk in

unchecked to events. I was though electricians. We could, this might put a smore at risk, but you could deliver me to the Prince as a gift. Oh, interesting. So he can apologize to you for running into your sword, brother? Well, in the Prince's warped view, I think they think it's my fault that I stabbed a child. Thank you.

This is almost as good as your chilly's joke. Thank you on fire today. That night I ugly cries for two seconds before collecting a self. That could work. We could also combine the plans and present Jinz as a familiar to the Prince. Oh man. Love and you finished that entire glass of wine, huh? Really should have a better tolerance by now, yet.

You don't. This shit's strong. They don't have any chicken wine here. I guess I'm saying I also do have like disguise self and stuff But yet, you don't. This shit's strong. They don't have any chicken wine here. I guess I'm saying I also do have like, disguise self and stuff so I can be of help in that way, but I know nothing of your world is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. Okay, here's a question.

So we need the Starland. Do we need it or do we need to just touch the egg to it? Hmm, like with the flame. Why don't you consult the egg to it. Hmm, like with the flame. Hmm. Why don't you consult the egg? Okay. I have it, I asked the egg because I still got some advantage from this kick sole.

Oh, cool. Great. Okay. So I take out the egg and I say, oh, great. Golden circle. We want to know what business have you with this

Ireland. That's what we're calling the star, Garland. Titan aviation, total assist. Thank you so much. But I will pass along that gratitude to you from Naya. Naya, I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.

I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. the flame of Leont, the flames lit in twang. We simply need a taste of the power that the gods bestowed here. A simple drop, a taste of the history stored in this vessel is all that we require to be reborn. Okay, so a drop, the egg. I do not want to read too much into this But the egg did call the starland a vessel

So there may be something lurking inside it which we require It is a vessel for the history of the gods and the people here Less of a vessel and more of a history book. Okay, okay, so I did actually read too much into it. We just don't want to lead you astray. You're good kids. I really appreciate that egg. I know, you know what, you're a good egg.

You're a good egg, you know? Wow, so that's really good. We're good, yeah. It's so cool. It's not a NIAQ joke, That was also really good. I look at niac and see how much he needs to win and say, yeah. Yeah. And I accept eating lit from his belly and it smiles. We salute you, niac. Joke master. Jam champion. I understand egg now. I understand egg now. Cool.

So yeah, you glean from your conversation with the egg that all these relics are essentially like, they're almost like DNA in a way. So all you would need is one strand to replicate the string, if that makes sense. OK. So should we go there under the pretense of we've got this great gift, the egg, that we're

going to give to the prince as an apology even though I don't need to apologize. Yes, he would eat it as an apology to you. There you go. But then we can. You're gonna have to do a lot of deception checks if you have to. I'm very deceptive. I haven't been lying to you guys about anything but I'm very deceptive. I haven't been lying to you guys about anything, but I'm very deceptive. You told me yours is 68, that's 48. How can you be two? Honestly, I don't know how old I am, because that's how deceptive I am.

I'm right there with you, man. I truly even deceived myself. Just a number, buddy. Okay. As long as we can get the egg close to this prince, maybe we can touch it to the starlin'. I think it's a very interesting premise. I do wonder if we may find ourselves one egg short at the end of it, but I'm willing to play with fire, which is what we did last episode.

Well, does everybody... Okay, so I can dimension door. Can other people... I can take one person with me. Do other people have means of escaping terrible situations? I've got thunderstep. I can take one person with me. Do other people have means of escaping terrible situations? I've got thunderstep. I can use thunderstep to go in. Oh, great. But I have to warn you I have but three spells a day. OK, and I can hide and play in sight. And I won't, or I can stand still without being seen for hours. I just look, you can leave me in the castle.

I look straight at Onyx. So it's just you and I. I can bring, I can bring Niaq with me. Dimension door, I can grab Blavin, and you can grab Niaq or vice versa. We each have a way to escape with one other person. Okay, and then maybe once we get in, we can get into a location that then we can take

a little short rest or something before we were, if we were to get into some sort of scrap. So maybe we try to go in incognito and if things go bad we say that we're trying to present this to the prince. Okay, so yeah, I think we do that. Great. I take Niack in my arms holding holding him like a baby. No, I was thinking of like a sheep when the sheep is upside down and their legs are just totally straight. Okay, like a shepherd like holding a sheep taking it to get sheared. Yeah.

Not assumed the position of a sheep. My arms and feet are straight up in the air. That's cool. Cool, so you've got Niaq just by the legs ready to go. You want to head to the coronation? I guess I'll buy some new cool clothes, not that I need to, but I will. And I'll wear it last year's fashion, as long as you'll honor me with a hand me down. I think that you dressing as me

might not be a great idea, considering we're not trying to draw attention to ourselves. Alpadana, 70s leisure suits. Yes. You adorn yourselves in all the latest Elven fashions. You see the teens still don't respect you for some reason. What? You can see the tags.

We're not doing tags anymore. We do this. And he just reveals under his jacket that he is wearing a shirt that is just sleeves. It's just all sleeves. It's just hundreds and hundreds of sleeves. How? Come closer, I'll show you. I can't comprehend. Come closer, come closer, I'll show you. I can't comprehend.

Come closer, come closer, I'll show you. I pull out my sword. Get out of here. I think I go investigate. I come closer. He made Chant you and slapped your face through one of the sleeves. Whoa. I made Chant him right back and slap his face.

Oh! She's cool. She's cool. I looked at Katy for approval. Wow, doing with me. Okay. Get one with me in it. Okay. Okay. Cool. So you head towards the coronation, which is taking place in the dome of Nadas,

which is this holy court used for royal and religious ceremonies. So you make your way along a winding path that leads you into the mountains above the city. As you do, you're joined by the throngs of Elven citizens that have come to pay their respects to the newly crowned prince. Eventually you arrive at this large cliff that overlooks all of Ilavas. At the edge of the cliff you see this elegant stone building topped with a golden dome engraved with constellations. It kind of looks like a fantasy version of Griffith Park.

It's kind of what I'm imagining. On either side of the dome, you see large projection screens have been set up so that the citizens not permitted to enter can watch the ceremony. But as you get closer, you do see that there are six royal guards covering the main entrance and several others positioned around the perimeter. Cool. So, Operation Familiar Gens, is that what we're doing? No, no, I think that we are going to just, uh, dimension door and, uh,

Thunderstep in. Yeah, I actually, I think with shenanigans. Let me see something. Okay. Let me pull up. Let me pull up. I will take this moment to do tricksters escape So I have freedom of movement. Nice For free. Okay, so With dimension door, I think I can actually get us in I think thunderstep Ken too It says you teleport yourself from your current location to any other spot within range the range is 500 feet you can teleport yourself from your current location to any other spot within range.

The range is 500 feet. You arrive exactly at the spot desired. It can be a place you can see, one you could visualize, or one you could describe by stating distance and direction. So I think specifically because we can see the projection, I think I basically, I want to move this to like, basically as far as we can get near the guards and then I think let's just dimension door in right?

God damn. That is so good. I just put the projections in there's flavor and you've turned my flavor against me. That flavor is now sour. I mean, I just so you know, don't call mine is also an unoccupied space you can see within range. So it's not imagine and it's only 90 feet instead of dimension door. You should still be able to get in 90 feet. That's fine. Yeah. If you get close enough to the entrance, are you going to try and like cause at a distraction so that the guards don't

notice two of you disappearing and one of you thunder stepping? I'd actually like to go away from the guards because thunder step does damage, so I want to make sure that they don't take damage. Yeah, I think we're like going around a corner, gonna try to keep it quiet. Got you. But I can send obsidian is quite aroused in heat, so I could just smack their ass and send them towards the guards. In in heat so I could just smack their ass and send them towards the guards Oh Well, who's this a Familiar a gift for the Prince of course welcome right this way You see that they they just let up city and walk right in the floor. What did I tell you about natural pheromones?

Wow, that is one horn of unicorn. I guess as they're turning to look at the horn of unicorn, I dimensioned our and grabbed, Blavin, bring them in. I thundered step and grabbed Niaq or continue to be grabbing. Blah, blah, blah. Can you take people with you with thundered step? That's awesome.

Cool, fantastic. Can you take people with you with Thunderstab? That's awesome. Cool. Fantastic. So you quickly make your way inside. You enter this large circular chamber. The floor is made of polished marble inlaid with complex patterns of stars and planets. To your left and right, Elvish nobles and dignitaries from all of Trinavale are ceded

on curved wooden pews that face a raised platform. On this platform you see three thrones and an elegant purple curtain. And then above you, the dome ceiling is erupting in a display of magical cosmic fireworks. I would like to survey the sort of fashion, dress, look of these people and disguise myself to be sort of the mean average look that's going on. Nice, below the curve, gotcha. Yeah.

Or like matching the curve. I want to be like a boring, like look like a really boring normal person that belongs. Norma core. Just khakis and new balance. Should I cast invisible on myself? Like, right before we approach. Maybe just so I can be recognized, sweet. So I'm gonna cast invisible on myself,

but I'll just follow around these guys. Great, okay, cool. So yeah, I think that Blavin is able to, you know, make himself look like a reporter. Let's say, perfect plan. I'm here for the big scoop. Now you can talk to everyone I guess. I look like someone who just you want to avoid

a conversation with. Right. Like I'll talk your ear off about something that you're not interested in. Cool, so you settled in. I imagine are you just gonna like take a seat? Yeah, I'm going to act very normal. I'm going to ask someone where the bathroom is.

Excuse me, where's the bathroom? You don't, you ask this of a warforged who turns its metal head and says, I do not need the bathroom. What's a curious question to ask me? Okay, you know, not everything's about you buddy, not everything's about you, especially with a question like this. I show them just a little bit.

You know, don't get into a fight instantly. What is your deal? What is your deal? I wish I could go to the bathroom. Never before has anyone ever responded to me asking this question with something about himself I'm gonna step in and see if I can out where? Where's the bathroom? I don't know. I don't use the bathroom. Where's the or derbs the or derbs?

I thought there would be crackers and cheese. I do not eat. I am a metal man. Okay, now that now you're being how dare you insult me now This guy's being an asshole Invisible My sensors are picking up a strange invisible voice what is happening? Me, me, me, I will you're picking up a strange invisible force you you. Don't use about there. But you don't eat. Look outside yourself. Some people want cheddar cheese and some people want to take a pee. I wish I could be. I wish I could be. You see the war for it gets up crying or trying to cry because it can't.

And it runs out the door. That's how you break through. That's how you avoid small talk. That's how you get deep. Well, you can take their place setting, I guess. So that's... Yeah, we will. Cool, so you take your place. After a moment, a person comes out

from the purple curtains in the front of this circular room. You see it's an elven woman. She's wearing a very plain hood. Honestly, similarly plain to what you all are wearing. She steps out, she's got like a simple little like triangle in her hand, which she dings a few times before beginning to speak. Everyone, everyone, to your seats, the procession will be starting soon. Um, and even though you can't see her face, you get this like, since from her, that she just radiates this aura of supreme reliability.

To put it another way, she seems just really solid. Rebecca? Do you want to do a perception check? Yeah. I'll give you the help action. You've talked about her so much. I mean, I think I could probably recognize her. I got a dirty 20.

Ooh. Jins, despite her face being covered, you can definitely tell that this solid, solid lady, could not be anyone else other than Rebecca. Okay, Rebecca's solid. Here's the problem. Is she solid for the prince? Or will she be solid for us?

Do a history check, okay 12 12 So you don't know a ton about what Rebecca's been up to okay, but I imagine you've checked in on social a little bit So you know that Rebecca you know know, with her kind of solid, reliable nature, was on a, she was on like a politics track. So it would make sense for her to be here and be working for the Royals in some capacity.

Okay, do I know if she would like, give me in, do I know that? Ask in your heart, does that seem like the thing that a solid person would do? Probably not To you okay, so Rebecca's pretty solid, but maybe we should test the waters do any of you want to just go up and kind of casually talk about me and see Okay, I do this All right, am I still in on X's arms?

I go up to Rebecca with Nia in my arms and say, hey, where's the bath? No, not the bath. Don't ask them. Do they have anything for vegans? Are they passing out our dervests for for anyone that doesn't like meat? Yes, of course. We made sure to account for all palettes. So solid. So solid. This is so crazy, but I actually have a friend to actually recommend it coming to this ceremony to me. Oh, a recommendation.

Most people received invites to get to this ceremony. Oh, it was like I received the invite, and then I made the decision to come after consulting a friend. Oh, of course. Their name is Jens Lindell. Jens Lindell. Jens Lindell comedy, Jens Lindell official.

Maybe you follow the account. Yeah, I'm just kind of looking to see if they're here or whatnot. I deleted Trinstagram from my phone because it was distracting me. Oh, distracting you from what? Oh, you know, life, living life. I deleted Trinstagram from my phone because it was distracting me. Oh Distracting you from what? Oh, you know life living life But it turns to Graham is where I live my life. Oh

It's not just about fun and partying. There's lots of business opportunities there as well Yeah, you know what that's a very good point. Maybe I was being shallow-minded Yeah, you should really download it again. Yeah, I just find it's like a really good way to digest life, you know. But, yeah, is Jen's here, do you know? I had not seen Jen's in some time. Ever since the unfortunate day that he pricked the prince. That prince ran into his sword. You know, that wasn't narrative I saw being shared online.

Unfortunately, it's not true. Oh, what's the truth? He did prick the prince. It's actually not true, Rebecca. You know that. I come out of invisible. Hi. Don't freak out.

OK? What? What are you doing here? I thought we were buds. I thought you were solid. OK? We are. But you know, Jins, you know that I have goals and ambitions

within the realm of politics. I dream I aspire to be the prime minister of Ilivos one day. Okay, what is more important? An old acquaintance or your goals? Impossible. That would be like discerning the difference between two identical pieces of gold.

Think about it, just some person that you went to school with a long time ago that you haven't really talked to in a while, and you know, just kind of showing up. How could you not help them? It's true, our parents were such good friends. Yes, I mean, you and I were like, not super good friends, but we were, you know who I am. And you know I'm fine. Ha ha ha. If there's one thing I value in life, it's solid acquaintances.

Rebecca, if you have aspirations and politics, is it because you want to make the world a better place? Of course. I wish for the world to be as solid as it is in my heart. There's no better tool for that than Trinstagram. Your voice straight to your followers. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, actually I was kind of going in a different direction, but I mean, it is true. Yeah, I think Onyx, continue down the road that I think you're going to go down. Nia, okay. And then I'll circle back with my... Nia, I actually do see cheese. If you wanted to go grab some.

No, I was just wondering about the cheese so I could pitch that it doesn't get served because I don't like dairy. You should eat a cracker, you didn't eat anything. I'll have a cracker. Oh, of course, we have several cracker varieties. However, I would recommend the cheese, too. They're from a local sheep.

It seems you like being carried like a sheep so you might enjoy this cheese. I'm glad you noticed. Go ahead and give me a persuasion roll. Okay. With advantage since you're both working the case. 27. Wow. I got a 27 us with.

Oh, we are so persuasive. 27 twins. We just are so charismatic as soon as Niaq goes to get a cracker. As you do. I got an 11 to persuade her to download Transpogami app. Yeah. Your friend is taking quite a lot of crackers, I guess. Yeah, well you know what?

Some people have an appetite for life and some people have an appetite for crackers. He's not taking any water or liquids. No cheese. Which to enjoy the crackers. No meat. No meat. Thank you. Have some. Have any water or liquids. No cheese. Which to enjoy the breakfast. No meat. Have some.

I'll have a dry cracker. Have some water, no. No, you're going to get sick. I have water in my throat. I have saliva. That's all the water I could possibly drink. Okay. He's going to be sick later.

Will you? Interesting. I'm with him. Well, Jens, you know I can't say no to you. We've been friends. Our parents were friends. Equalidences. Middling relations are entire life.

I am really feeling some middling chemistry here. I have a feeling someday, Rebecca, we could be, yes, work friends, if we can work together. That is my greatest dream above all else. I would throw away my career in politics, for this simple, but euphoric pleasure. We may have been a little bit overly dramatic. I don't think you need to throw away all of your... Yeah. I think what I'm trying to get at Rebecca

is that we are also trying to make the world a better place and we were curious if maybe you might be sympathetic to something that we are working towards. Perhaps. I don't know if you're familiar with the you know secret slumbering deity, but we think we have a way to wake them up and we need access to the Starland. We don't need it fully.

We just need to borrow it for like a sec. You might call it the Star Garland. I don't know. It's a new, it's a new plan. Nyex has been really killing it today. That's incredibly clever. We're going at darland, yeah. I've been told this cracker fiasco,

I feel like I was having a really good day. Well, he was killing it yesterday and now he's kind of just back to normal. My ex sits on the ground. See? I pick him up like a mom who's like trying to shop while they're kidding. Ooh.

You're so strong. That is quite a big ask gins but for you I will broach the topic. I need to bring out the royals for the coronation. That must go on as scheduled but perhaps I could bring you up to meet the prince and make this request. And perhaps if I lent my credence to your case, the prince would forgive. That would be excellent. And then I can present, we have a cool egg, I can present the egg to him. Oh, a cool egg.

Yes, you should have mentioned the cool egg before. Sorry, sorry. Yes, I would like to present a cool egg to the prince and potentially touch the starland with the egg. The prince does indeed like things that are cool. Great. Normally it's things like sea do's and miniature ponies, but this egg is quite fetching.

I imagine the prince could enjoy it. Yes, that will do lovely. Okay. There actually is a miniature moonicorn running around. It's horning, we don't know where it is. It gets pretty destructive, super. It's over there presenting itself to the gods. Just helping things, I don't know if you want to call

animal controllers something, because you see that the moonicorn is peeing on the war forage, just like this is just beyond cruel. How could you do this? I'm glad that obsidian took up my fight. So Rebecca says that she'll put in a word for you. And just recommends that you go back to your seats for now. And then you see her as we go back to our seats Maybe I'm bring up to Jen's

Jen's Is there a part of you that wonders if maybe we don't introduce the idea of the egg because once we present the egg I guess if we are giving it to the prince then suddenly we will be taking away something that we said we are giving instead of maybe just having a reason to be there. Yeah, I mean that was ill thought out but I really want to make sure that the egg gets that we get to use it. I guess we could just present Obsidian. Do I'm going to go run by Rebecca and tell her, new plan. I think she's being a really straightforward with us, so maybe let's just, we could try to be honest with her. But if you want to go egg strategy, we can't.

No, it's not about her, it's about the prince, because my plan was basically to be like, here, let me show you this egg, yonk, and then touch the egg to it and then get out of here. I feel like the prince will love that because he'll experience the joy of being presented with a cool egg. And then the listen, the humor of being tricked. And okay, when I said before that he ran into the sword, when I said before that he ran into the sword, I will. Yes, the cool. I will. And he's a fool. Yes, I agree before that he ran into the sword. Yes, the cool.

I will and he's a fool. Yes, I agree with that. He was even a apology brother. I admit that I did not properly prepare everyone for how dangerous the dance was, how I would be blindfolded or how long the swords were. So he might freak out when he sees me or any of you. So.

Okay, so that is okay. See, I think I maybe I didn't have the context because I've kind of only heard your side of the story. So I thought, why aren't you just? You gotta take that with a grain of salt. You gotta look at all sides of the problem and not just. So there are people out there who think that you're a fault brother. It's truly unbelievable, but yeah, so things I feel like...

I did a quick Google and honestly a lot of people out there think it's your fault. My experience in the city has just been any event is bad and we're gonna need to get out. That is, so I'm prepared for this not to be a nice night. Okay then, I will sort of divert my thoughts to that direction. Cool, so do you inform Rebecca the new plan or are you gonna leave with the egg? No, we're gonna, we're gonna leave with the egg.

Great, okay. You may burn your bridge with Rebecca. I told Rebecca what was up? Oh wait, she's gonna be recommending that. Wait, Rebecca's already fucked. We we fucked over it truly. That was kind of what I was thinking. I was kind of trying to be like Rebecca's gonna be blending her name to you. Okay. All right. Show this man an egg, steal a garland and piece. Wait, but we're not gonna give up city and either.

Do you wanna leave your moon accord here? Oh, I'm waiting. So I'll do a dance. Okay, that's it. It's perfect. I can make it up to the print. I just feel like there's such an obvious thing on the table here, which is just like,

you offering forgiveness. But why would I apologize? It didn't feel like they're such an obvious thing on the table here, which is just like, you offering forgiveness. But why would I apologize? It didn't do anything. That's... Okay, I'm gonna pull this out, Rebecca. Rebecca, listen. Oh, I'm only telling this to you because we're casual acquaintances. Yes, of course. I wouldn't tell you this if you were a stranger.

I would definitely... At arm's length. Yes, if you were a work friend or something, which you almost are... Oh, my dream. Let's talk about this. Listen, actually, don't mention the egg because we're not going to give a, I don't want you to lend your name to me and then you to get into trouble later.

I would like to offer a sort of an all-edge branch dance. We're going to call it an olive dance to the prince. And olive dance? and an olive dance to the prince. Um, and olive dance? Say that there is a surprise guest and that I'm going to be doing an olive dance. Yes, I think that might work better than the egg. I might have slightly fudged the truth a bit about the prince. He only thinks eggs are fine.

I personally think eggs are great. I eat them for most meals. Okay, well you can't eat this egg, but you know what? We'll have plenty of time to fill you in on the egg once we become work friends. It's a great egg. I love the whites, specifically. The yolks?

A bit much for me. Sure. I feel like we don't usually when we hung out, there'd be like our parents and siblings and stuff would be around this. I just, I feel like there's not a lot of chemistry here, so I'm gonna go back to my friends. Of course.

Okay. Well, I have to start the ceremony, so that makes sense. Okay, great. Um, cool. See you later. She offers you an elbow bump. I go to give a hand check. Oh, okay.

Give an elbow bump. I go back. It's just a new thing we're starting. Yeah. Great. Cool. So you see with this new information about the plan, with Operation Egg off the table, you see that Rebecca walks up to this main platform with the thrones on it. And she rings it a little triangle again and says, presenting, your sovereign rulers and the esteemed kings of Ilavos,

Albin Star and Bleaker Sage! And you see from behind the curtain two men walk forward. They wear illustrious, deep purple uniforms, trimmed with silver epilets and metals. On their heads, each wears a simple silver circulate that's almost indistinguishable from the radiant platinum hair they both share. Albin's is long and straight, while bleakers is short and stiff. You see, the two kings settle in their thro thrones and then nod for Rebecca to continue. And now dear guests, it is my honor to introduce the Crown Prince of Hilavos, a number one big

time birthday boy himself, Astor Star Sage! Ah, you see everybody in the room starts clapping wildly. They're very excited. And Nayak does not clap. Jen says his arms folded. I clap to distract my back that night of Jen's nor Nayak are clapping. I put my arms around them and then clap in front of them. Perfect. Alex is holding me.

And from the curtain, you see a fully grown Elven Man emerges. He wears a sleeveless, full-body robe adorned with silver sash and various metals. On his right shoulder, you can see a very faint hint of a scar. The Prince of Ilavas surveys the gathered nobles, smiles, and then begins to speak. Friends, countrymen, nobles of the world, thank you for coming to my coronation. It is on this day that I turn forty-six and become a man in the eyes of my people. As such I shall inherit a drop of the divine blood that flows through my fathers, as well as the stars age crown, which marks me as the next sovereign, an inheritor of Nadars' blesson. The prince breathes in deeply, does a brief interpretive dance, then shouts,

Let the ceremony commence. And you see he sits down in his throne and says, Those who wish to pledge loyalty and offer gifts may do so now before I receive the crown. Come forward. Should we offer the egg now if you want to offer the egg? We're not going with the egg plan. I think I feel like I don't want to offer anything until the crown is here. Yeah, I was thinking the same.

Yeah, you see a bunch of people do come forward and offer gifts. You see that the prints receive, you know, like two or three miniature ponies, a couple of go-karts. You receive some normal eggs, but no golden eggs, just some normal eggs. Wow.

You see that the warforge brought just some normal eggs, and he's like, this is what humanoids eat, right? This is what flesh people like as gifts and treats. This poor guy, I feel for him at this point. Yeah. And you see the princess just like, Hmm. Throw this mechanical man in the dungeon forever.

Oh my god. He has disappointed me. What? Serves him right. Onyx, he wouldn't tell you where the bathroom is. He was obsessed with the help that he never peed. Onyx, don't be offended. I mean, yes, he had a very strong personal narrative,

but I feel a bit, bit, you know, I kind of want to help him if he's going to get thrown in the dungeon. Please know, my prince, I represent an entire race of mechanical men. We need your help. Our city is under a dark plight. You must, oh no, I am being taken away. Oh no. Really?

I feel as though I must follow him. I'm so sorry guys. Have you ever been like so passionately angry at someone that you almost felt like you bonded? That's the only way I relate to people, yes. I think I bonded with the Swarthourch. Wow, I keep it pretty even keel, but yeah I can see see it. Um, do you want to like send someone to follow up on that guy? Okay, yeah, I guess just text us and let us know what's up with the war for No, I totally I totally I totally hear that and but he also was like a real dick to me about the whole cheese thing. I hold both Naya and Genghis shoulders and I say I need you both to ground me right now.

Am I being ridiculous by feeling I need to save this war forage and the fuck that they come from? I mean, why don't we look? Everybody's gonna freak out here in a minute, anyway. So we just bookmarked that we are going to save the war forage. In your pocket, you feel a voice coming from your flasks. Oh, Kitchen. Let me go and help my brother.

Kitchen, go free the war forged! Okay, I will do it. I have heard his plight from your pocket, and I feel that it is my duty, nay, my destiny, to save him. Make sure he knows who, who sent ya. It was us, we were practically tripping over each other to go help. Yeah, it was us. We were practically tripping over each other to go help. Yeah, cool. That seems like the important thing to remember here.

You can leave my name out of this. We had actually a pretty good, contentious go-around. So I'll say that you slide keychain in flask mode out of the room so that you can like, without detection, get over to the stairs where the dungeon is and you see him who pops out of flask mode and tiptoes down the stairs. He does of course say tiptoe as he tiptoes though. I say bot speed. It's upon. Thank you for giving me something to do. Who was it? Gents, forgot who that was. Who was that? It's our other roommate.

Cool. So Yusin Keychain on this perilous mission. We may never get him back. And that's fine. Just eat advertisers. And that's fine. Just eat appetizers. Okay, just like, no one else heard that story, that they were all my told, and felt like, oh, it is our moral duty to intervene.

The kitchen is going to get him. I just feel like I'm the crazy one. Okay, go on. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

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To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-up or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. So you see a couple more people go up and give gifts. The print seems slightly bored by the whole thing. Eventually, all of the sick offense disperse, and you see Rebecca nods to the prints, and

he says, Ah, lovely! Now let the coronation begin, in earnest. You see Albin and Bleaker smile and rise, and then simultaneously they remove the crowns from their head, and then lift them towards the heavens and speak in unison. O wise Nadas, bestow upon our son a sliver of your being, let your power dwell within him and grow, so that one day he will be a proper vessel for your full divinity." The kings then turn to face each other and lower their crowns. As they do, the crowns begin to twist and uncoil like silver snakes.

The snakes then join together and reform into a single large crown adorned with filigree in the shape of constellations. You see Rebecca gestures towards the prince. Now your majesty, kne, I receive your destiny. Astor Neils, and as he does, the kings eyes both glow, and they lower the conjoined crown onto his head. As soon as it touches his temples, Astor's eyes glow and a single strand of his hair turns silver. After a moment he rises,

and Rebecca turns to face the room. Presenting the chosen vessel of the divine bloodline and future king of Ilavas, crown prince Aster's star sage! Woo! Everybody cheers and claps. Yes. future king of Ilivas, Crown Prince, Aster Star Sage. Woo! Everybody cheers and claps.

Yes. I clap. Not an eye act. And then the ceremony kind of returns to its informal state. You see some of the nobles from Ilivas go forth to Neal and kiss the ring of the new Crown Prince. I see other people head to the snack table and look a little miffed that there's no crackers left for some reason.

I saved a bunch for later. And you see Rebecca turns to face you and nods her head as if to say now might be a good time. All right, I'm starting to get staged right a little bit. Should we just ask her to? Yeah, Jen, as we go over there, I just want you to know, if like things go bad, I do have a spell that I can kind of put a cage over us and the prince. Ooh, do you want to just ask if he can bless our egg? Ha ha ha. Okay, let's ask if he can bless our egg.

And if things go bad, I will cast force cage and you and Nyak myself, we will try to just touch the egg to the crown as much as we can and then try to dimension or thunders step away. I massage gents and shoulders and I say we can do that, we can do that, but brother, now is your chance to do the best dance you've ever done. To redeem the dance. What it should have been. What it could have been. What it will forever be known to be, brother, when they Google your name, they'll never see Prince Prickarekette. They'll see Prince Impressor, God. Jans has tears in his eyes. But for the first time, he understands what it's like to have

a brother because he said something about him. And I guess I want to turn and I want to shout and I want to say, Prince, there's one more gift for your birthday. Oh, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. And then I saunter over. And I throw olives in front of Jen's feet as he walks over. Prince Aster, you may recognize me as Sword Dancer, Jensland Dell. I was at your 45th birthday party. You! Yes. It is you who marred my flesh. You who permanently scoured my beautiful, princely body. Yes, we've why do you? Sully my coronation now you foul Bricker of a man guy. We want you to but we want you to bless our egg

We would like you To bless our egg, but mostly The reason I am here is more eggs The reason I am here is more eggs It's a cool golden egg listen there's been a lot of back-in for You know about who did what in terms of getting stabbed you stabbed me in front of my besties. I did and Stabbed ran into a blade. It's there's there's you know, you know what's there's tomato tomato. Thank you My squad left and left all of my mini chambermaids made fun of me in the night and Now princess sir. I know that

You would like to redeem yourself for that moment as I would So I'm about to ask for a volunteer, and I would like for it to be you. Is there an assistant? I'm about to do a dangerous sword dance. Is there an assistant in the crowd? Nioch fights theards to raise his own hand. You see, Rebecca turns to the prince and says, My Lord, it is your duty as the future king, not only to rule, but to forgive the mistakes of the past

so that you can pave a glorious future full of opportunity and splendor for your people. Equally, hexblade cursed the prince. And also just in case it's been an hour, I guess the freedom of movement on myself again for my tricksters escape. Cool. Onyx or any of those spells, are they just invocations?

It's invocation and a hex blade ability. Awesome, so Jens, you see the prints stymied by Rebecca's solid words and logic. Reconsiders, go ahead and give me a persuasion rule. Dirty 20. All Jens thinks is he just needs to dance correctly this time and I'll be forgiven. The prince wants to forgive you. The prince sees his fathers have a look on their face that says, oh no, he's in one of his moods.

Hmm. Okay, they can be used against him, perhaps. But then he swallows his rage and says, very well. I shall allow you one more dance, Jinslandell. Prove that you are more than just a buffoon attached to a blade. And perhaps you shall live another day outside the dungeon. Naya kids the fog machine. Jens pulls out a chair like it's the magic like show and biggest. I put that in a surprise jar.

Okay, Jens, the way I want you to do this is, you know what, why doesn't everybody just roll initiative? Sweet. 14, 15. 19. Okay, Jens, here's how this is going to work. You're going to be dancing for the prints and for the purposes of this encounter,

we're going to treat your dance moves like attacks. And you're going to be attempting to whittle down the prince's opinion of you. So think of the prince's HP as his preconceived notion of you, you're going to be trying to make a favorable impression with your dance moves. Got it. NIAC and ONIX, you, during your turns, you can either cheer on Jens or persuade the prince to think better of Jens or you can try to get the crowd on Jens' side as well. Okay, and the mechanically what do those mean?

You can do persuasion roles or intimidation roles or you can cast magic on the crowd to try and change their mind or like you know, like minor illusion something. Okay. Basically, yeah, you can do like pirate techniques or something like that. You are the stage hands for this dance battle. Okay.

Great. Does that all make sense? Yes. Yes. Awesome. Okay. I'm going to roll a D4 to see, at what point during the battle, we are going to check in on keychain.

Great. I rolled a three keychain. Great. I rolled a three. Awesome. Great. So, Jins, you pull out a chair, you start stretching your legs on it, getting just like all the way perpendicular, fully bent on this chair,

warming up, beginning your dance, but while this is happening, onyx. Mm. What would you like to do? I would like to hold my action until after Jen, so I can support whatever he is doing. Great, you're gonna hold your action. Yeah.

Niaq, that's you. I'm also gonna hold my action taking on X's lead here. Okay. Okay. I will see what, you know, Jen's needs the most. Yes, but I do nod to Onyx that it's time to put me down. I don't take it. I don't take that in. Nyex shrugs and takes it out.

Cool, Jins, that is your turn. Sweet, so am I doing it as performance things or actual blade attacks? You are a blade dancer and when you perform, you use your blade. So treat it like a task. Sweet. OK. Then I am swinging my swords dangerously close to the Prince. As I stand over him in the chair, first attack is a 17 to hit. That misses.

Fuck. OK. I do a second attack. Shout out to the two crew. That's a 12 to hit misses. Last one, that one. Good lord. Not a great start, my friend. So that is around to the prince. They... Stand there. Then they look around the room. And then back at you, Jens. And he says... Yes, you're doing a great job. Sorry about that. Cut off a little bit of your hair, but all part of the show. He's going to

attack you with psychic damage, which manifests in the form of his disinterest on distrust of you. So I'm going to roll that. Can I use my action that I held? Yeah. And cast flaming arrows and just shoot two arrows up in the sky like fireworks. I say, you're not impressed because it hasn't started yet. Yeah.

Yeah. Hit it brother and then I cast these fireworks. Oh, just trying to give him disadvantage on not being impressed by Jens. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh fuck me that's an 11 oh Okay, I held an action to okay, can I do something that is Potentially for both the prince and the audience yes, I would like to summon flock of familiars and summon miniature ponies And have them run down the aisle okay, um, you're doing that. NIAC is doing a fireworks display with his arrows. Yeah, go ahead and roll persuasion for me as well.

Okay. Dirty 20. Dirty 20? Awesome. So, what's going to happen? You successfully distract him with these maneuvers, so he's gonna roll this attack with this advantage. But also, because of this wonderful display, ponies are everywhere.

You see the prince goes, ah, they're so small. It's a teacup of a horse. Just plug your ears. And you see the crowds like, yeah! Wow, look at all of them, they're so small! Yeah! They all start cheering by making moonicorn sounds. They're like, RAH!

Gosh, this is heinous. So, Jins, on your next role, because the crowd is getting behind you, you're going to be able to roll with a bardic inspiration dice. Oh great. Hell yeah. For the first time, Niaq and Onyx are giving you inspiration. Uh-huh.

Appreciate it. I'm cool, but the Prince is still going to roll. They're going to do two withering glances at you. Okay. They missed on the first one, the rolling with disadvantage. Does, um, 26 will hit. Yep.

See here. That is going to be 29 psychic damage to you. How? As the prince looks at your boots and says, they're so high. What? All they do is cover my shins now. I thought I got rid of my knee highs.

Everyone's wearing sandal boots now. You're sandal boots. Sandal boots. Janice losing confidence. Ha, ha, ha. Awesome. We are back around. Onyx sets you.

OK. I am going to, you said an option was to cheer Jenz on. Yes. I'm going to cheer Jenz on by Using healing hands on him. Ooh, okay. So I healed Jenz for 13 Nice in an effort to use my action to cheer Jenz on cool How does that look since Jenz is not actually heard. He's just like mentally hurt. How does that, how does that manifest? Gents was getting six sweaty. Now he's getting sexy sweaty. Yeah, it's just me dabbing him off with a towel.

Amazing. But doing it very, very presentationally as if I'm part of the show. And in fact, as onix does this, she starts to get bit by the performance bug a little bit. You see some of the people in the audience at the court are like, who's that towel girl? I whip out my deflated inflatable saxophone and start whipping it around my head. Whoa, like the party ape. You know the party ape? I wish. I start showing the pictures of us with the party ape. You know the party I wish I start showing the pictures of us with the party

ape. Cool that's going to be Nyak. Alright I am gonna do some erotic archery and like the worm dance and just continue shooting flaming arrows into the sky as fireworks. What did we say about the worm? That it was awesome, I forget. Luckily, your arrows are so bright and joyful that nobody notices the jammy little man on the ground squirming. It's just so rigid, he just keeps bashing his head into the ground.

You see one of the guards is like, It's just so rigid he just keeps bashing his head into the ground You see one of the guards is like you're getting blood all over the marble. It's jam Even worse Go ahead and roll a persuasion check I will never ever That's a ten a ten unfortunately, that's not enough to trigger anything else. The first time around, it caused this advantage, but a 10 isn't going to do much. That's fair.

You see, one of the arrows gets stuck on the curtain near the king. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh! And you see like 12 guards jump on it and douse the flame instantly, and they all just kind of like give you a stink eye. My bad. I'm used to that, I'm used to that though.

Jins, that is your turn. Sweet, inspired by my friends, I'm going to try to not mess up again this time. I was a little rattled going into the stance by trying to correct his past failed performance, but now he steals himself and is going to really go for it. Ooh, baby, that's a 29 to hit. Ooh, that hits. Okay, I'm going to do a, we're gonna call this a sexy flourish. It does nothing except for add the damage. So first attack is 15 damage.

Okay. And then I will take my second attack, who shout out to the two crew, probably not even worth using my inspiration. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. I've got, yeah, why not, I'll do it. So that's 12 right now, so I'm gonna roll a D10. And that's three, so that's only 15. Not enough. Great, so now I'm gonna take my off-hand attack, and that is going to be 19, 19 hits. Great, I will do another flourish,

use another bardic inspiration. Last attack is 8 damage. And then at the end of my turn, after I do a successful flourish, I am going to spin both of my swords towards Onyx and Nyak, you can invite them out to the dance floor Nyak warms his way onto the dance Onyx goes onto the dance floor being careful not to get her deflated inflatable saxophone slashed by one of these swords

so After a rough start You see the prince kind of like T tosses his hair out of his eyes, looks bored, but then you launch forward and then you swipe the air all around him, like just barely missing his skin, getting your blades so close that the air around him is wushing and his hair is kind of being perfectly styled by the finesse of your blades so close that the air around him is roozing and his hair is kind of being perfectly styled by the finesse of your blades. But you do not touch him.

You are that good. And then you end by bringing out your triplets and you see the prince goes, Ah, a solo act has become an ensemble. Ah, Rafa! Rafa, more! More! More! We all sit on a miniature pony.

Ha ha ha! Um, yeah, you see, like, he, he claps his hands, um, and sits in the chair that you put down, Jens, uh, and then, that is his turn. Um, so he is going to shrewdly stare at you. He's ready for more, but he's still reserving judgment, and he does not have disadvantage anymore. The first one is going to hit you. What is it? Because I do have shield if I wanted to use it. It's going to be 30. Yep, that'll hit no matter what. It's like I went to 27. Okay, both

hit no matter what. You see now he's into it and he's almost like too expectant. He's like, yes, yes, show me your moves! Yes, don't get your expectations up too high though, right? Because all we wanted last time I stabbed you, so this time I just don't stab you and it's like I'm trying to... I'm waiting 46 years for such a show! Oh, make my birthday shine! Uh, and you are going to take... 63 points of psychic damage.

Good Lord, I'm almost dead. 63 points of intimidation and pressure. I am at 13. Woo! Oh dear. You're at 13? Yeah. I kept you up because I yielded you. He did, you absolutely did.

I had exactly 63 left. Wow This is beautiful His sweat glistens in the moonlight. I Forgot to I forgot to breathe at the beginning of my dance and I start to pass out and I'm literally being held up by Onyx Cool, that brings us around to Onyx. Okay, so do I get the impression that it would be bad to attack this prince? To attack the prince directly as opposed to doing dance moves at him? Yes.

Would be extremely bad. Okay, I will cast fly on all three of us. Nice. Beautiful. You see the prints looks around. Where are the strings? Where are the strings? Oh, such a jolly trick.

And I got a 27 persuasion. Fuck yes, that is another inspiration dice for Jens. Excellent, thank you. I thought we ever flying. Does anyone feel like, let's steal this ground? You're all flying now. So I feel like that has to affect gins performance. So I think,

I mean, just double check one thing. Sure. If flock of familiars is concentration or not, because then I might have to dismiss my ponies. Okay. Nope, it's not concentration. Okay. Amazing. So we've got the ponies. The ponies remain.

We've got we're flying. You see a couple of ponies start floating as well. Hahaha. Cool. That is going to be Nyak's turn. Okay, so I was doing the worm on the ground, but now I'm sort of just doing it in the air. Hahaha. It am so rude. And I say, you know, my brother only has to do a fine job, but I know my brother and he's

going to do an amazing job. And I show, I show Jen's my new tattoo that I got on my ass. It says, I love my brother. And I'm going to slap my ass in cast Cure Wounds on James. A fourth level, which is my highest. Wow. Hell yeah. Thank you, brother. Flashback to the tattoo parlor, where the artist is like, you want it to say what?

You know what it needs to say, and go deep. Go deep, I don't ever want it to fade. Yes, sir, you're the boss. Just so you know, I looked up flonk of familiars and I can actually telepathically communicate with my mini ponies, and I can share their visual and auditory senses when they are within one mile of me. So I'm just like warging into different miniatur ponies

also just to see what it's like life through their eyes. And I thought showing my ass was the grossest thing I was gonna happen on the dance floor. I healed Jens for 43. Yes. Yo. Oh my Lord, thank you. Raw Vaux.

I thank you. Yeah, when you whip out this tattoo, the crowd takes notice. Go ahead and roll me a persuasion check. That's not, they're not gonna like it. It's all part of the show. That's a 14 on my persuasion. Okay.

I have a minus one to persuasion. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately with a 14, you see a lot of the people in the crowd are like oh cool Still looks pretty red I got it today You should have taken the bandage off it can't you be impressed by the bravery to expose oneself like that right? We're flying

Just a mini horse saying that. Haha! Sorry, I forgot I was in the horse. Cool, yeah, that is going to be... oh, Jens, that's you again. Sweet, I'm going to keep going with my swords. 28 to hit on the first hit. Wow, yes. I'm going to do a flourish.

15 damage. And actually, you know what, I'll go ahead and use, I give a solid nod to Rebecca, and I'm gonna use the Rebeckening Void. I'm gonna use the Infinite Cheeks of Destiny, so I tastefully cut off my pants and begin doing the dance that I am known for across the city

and I begin covering my butt and my genitals with the whirl of my swords. I'm gonna go ahead and use the divine flourish as well. Beautiful and I'll do that at a fourth level to do the max which is 5d8. Amazing. You see Rebecca looks at it. Her eyes go wide and she says, I can see why some people enjoy this. This is why we're acquaintances. And then an additional 27 damage. Yes. From the Divine Flourish.

And then I'm going to do the performance check with the Rebeckening Void attempt to cast Auto Zero's Isis to both hands. Okay. I'm using one hand to cover my genitals and my ass at the same time. I'm just spinning back and forth using the sword, moving so fast that everything is a blur, and then I do the Come Hither motion with my sword at the prince. And that is a, oh my god, a 31 performance chance, baby. You see that the prince, like a mom at a magic mic show.

a mom at a magic mic show. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha with you? Indeed, let me just put my pants back on. Oh, miraculous. Miraculous, Mike. Oh, sweet, I actually have two more attacks. Whoa, all beautiful. Yeah, okay, so I'll take my second attack. Ooh, that is a net one. I'm not making it. I stumble as I put my pants back on. I'll take my off hand attack. My off hand attack is an 18 hits.

Great, then I will do another flourish. I'm going all out. 13 damage. 13 damage. Awesome. You see the Prince like tries to do the flourish that you're doing and just succeeds in like fully dropping their pants in front of everyone.

But before anyone can see the princess royal genitalia guard like dives in front of it as if he's taking a bullet and manages to get the prince pants back up instantly. I saw it, I saw it met. I saw it, I saw it met. Okay, it is the Princess turn. I know that he could try and resist the spell by doing a wisdom save, but I think the Princess just really likes dancing with you guys. Yeah, we need to do an action to resist it, so. Oh, if he still wants to try to attack me, he can do it with disadvantage.

I think what's happening now The prince is on your side, but like him dancing with you is kind of throwing off your groove a little bit. Oh Okay, getting very close You are a solo act you've always made it very clear gents arms at your sides the prince pulls out his sword and starts swinging around to the wood. Oh! Look at me go! But they are going to roll with disadvantage on their attack. Oh gosh, 22. Still hits that wood hit, but I'm going to use shield.

You see that the prince trips and starts falling into you, but you catch him and like pull him into a graceful swoop and dip and then put him back on his feet and spin him. And the crowd goes nuts. Cool, so that is the bottom of the third turn, which means it's time to check in on keychain. Our tiny hero. Sure, keychain is fine. Okay, so it's good, right?

You are telling us there's a problem and we should solve it, right? Right? Tiptoe. Tiptoe. Tiptoe. I am being stealthy. You see Keychain engages stealth mode

and sneaks up to the best of his ability towards the warforged whose name is Jeff Bridges Wow, you see that the two guards have successfully thrown Jeff Bridges into this cell They dust off their hands and then they say It seems the coronation is complete Shall we undergo our task? And you see both of their eyes flash silver and the other one nods yes the time has come to undergo our task. This is why we have to follow

these people. I knew that something turkey was going on. I knew it. This is why we have to follow these people. I knew that something tricky was going on. I knew it. This is where I've been suspicious of everyone that we run into. Don't worry, Keychain will handle this entire thing. All we have to do is dance. I am vindicated. You cannot trust food in this world.

You trust no one. They can go nuts. All we need is for this prince to touch the egg. It's fine. Stop texting. Stop texting Keachane. You're on a day where you just need a prince to touch an egg. Okay, so Keachane, I think he is going to try and stealth up to these guards.

He sees the guards reveal their intention. He sees coins essence flowing through their veins and he says, oh shit, we are in big dukeye. Hi, we'll sneak up and take them both out and everyone will say keychain. You don't have to be in flask mode. Have her again. Perfect. Okay, so I'm going to roll stealth for keychain, which is zero. Yes, that is a 16 for keychain. He successfully sneaks up to one of these Elven guards, which was a BB warrior in disguise, and he is going to attack with advantage. That is going to hit. You see, keychain. As these two guards begin assembling some sort of like arcane machine that they had hidden

in the bricks of the jail cell, keychain runs up to them and just chops directly into one of their shoulders. Arna, na, na, na, na. Oh, ah, ah, ah! There's more of them, more metal men! Ha, ha, ha. I'm gonna roll damage real quick. See, ooh, 13 damage on the first hit for Keychain. He's gonna attack again, goes for the other shoulder. Get on the shoulders.

That's a nat 20 for Keychain! Yeah! Let's Keychain's fine. That's an at 20 for KJ. Yeah. Let's KJ's fine. It's fine, everybody. Yesterday was Nyax Day. Today's KJ's Day. I'll never have a day again. 24 damage from KJ on this bite.

Creating on a bite. KJ's Sinks is metal arcane teeth into this guard shoulder and reaches bone. Nice. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And nearly brings down this first guard. Nice. Good for you, Keychain. And that is Keychain's turn.

It brings us back around to the top of the order to Onyx upstairs. Okay. Realistically, I don't actually know what's going on with kitchen, right? No. Okay. So, I'm going to ask, are there any windows in here in this room? Yeah, it's kind of like a big dome shaped building. It's basically a planetarium. Okay. So the windows are probably closed or blacked out. Okay. I basically want to shoot off some eldritch blasts like firecrackers, but I want to do it to

in a way that looks fun and presentational, but also would break through a window in case we need to escape. I guess we're all deception. Okay. I think you can do it regardless, but see if it looks accidental or not. Dirty 20. Nice. Dirty 20. Yep. You blast off. What's this spell?

Eldritch blast. You do an Eldritch blast. These like pastel streamers shoot out from your fingers. Wow. I'm becoming a farmer. I've been beat by the bug. You see Bergus Creme, the mayor of Vainelar, clapping his hands, his little halfling. Oh, oh, oh, oh, and then, which is?

This streamer blasts through a window right by his head. Ooh. Guess I'm in the splash zone. Yeah, very interactive. Is that your turn? Yeah, that's all I can do, yeah. Cool. I guess that's sort of like it, maybe I like performance for the audience to try to get them on our side.

OK, I will say, yeah, like since you are dancing now. And flying. No, I think you'll still do performance for the audience. So you're old, dirty, 20. So yeah, that is going to be another bardic inspiration dice for, thank you, for Gens. Or you could impose disadvantage on the prince. I'd let you choose.

I think he already has to see you. Yeah, from all those. Oh, because he's dancing, you're right. Cool. Great turn. Nick, that is you. Okay, I have slight shenanigans. So tell me if you'll allow this.

Brava. I have a minus one to perform it, so I don't think I'll ever get the audience on my side, so here's what I want to do. Okay. I'd like to whisper to myself and say, the only bug I'll ever catch is Stagehand Bug. And then I'd like to cast Greece on Gens, which to grease me up, which is usually bad, but I want to give Gens advantage on his performance if I can on his roles. Whoa, so you grease him down to make his body look glistening sexy.

Yeah, like a guy before like a muscle man competition. I'm like spraying gens with bronzer. Yeah, squeezing baby oil on me. That is so good. Yeah, absolutely. You do that. I feel like, here's the thing. I'll say that gens will get advantage regardless,

but roll to see if you do better. Okay. Am I using a spell roll or still persuasion? A persuasion. This is it, you literally can't go out. Not bad. I rolled in that 18, but that's a 17. Wow.

All right, that's great. That's awesome. Yeah, Jins gets advantage on the next turn because you glisten him down. Wow. Thank you. God. But I do need you glistened him down. Wow. Thank you. God. But I do need you to roll a jam roll.

That's right. What's the threshold? Oh, it resets every day. It resets, so it's one now. I wish I rolled that for my persuasion. That's a 19. OK, you're fine. Fescial goes up to two.

Jins, that is your turn again. And I get advantage because I'm grease. You get advantage because you're so Greece. And you have Bartegan inspiration, because I broke the window. You're Greeceian flying, covered in charts of class from the window. A bird flies in, 24.

Hell yeah, that hits. Sweet's, I'm gonna do another flourish. I'm going all out here. I'll do a defensive flourish, just because I've come dangerously closely getting killed a couple times. 13 damage on the first hit. Great. Then I will go ahead and take my second attack. 25 to hit. Nice hits. I'll do my last flourish of the day, 16 damage, very good. And then I will take my last offhand attack, 19 to hit, that hits. And just two damage, I don't add my modifier to my last attack, so two damage. Beautiful. Yeah, you see the princess like starting to get fatigued at this point. Just a little longer. I mean what is an apology if not a fatiguing attack?

Gotta be the big number coming up soon, right? Awesome. That is going to be the princess turn. They are very tired and they are throwing off everyone's rhythm a little bit, but they are doing their best to keep dancing and they're going to roll with this advantage on their psychic attack. Okay. That is going to hit you though. That is a 29. Okay That's 34 damage. Okay, they're gonna try and spin but their ankle buckles. Okay, so they start falling again This is more sort of my performance and you Shout out to the two crew Their ankle holds you know I'm really starting to believe he fell into the sword at the last thing They're ankle holds. You know I'm really starting to believe he fell into the sword at the last thing My old friend

Perhaps it was my fault Perhaps my life is a lie and all of those propaganda stories. I made the newspaper right about jeans were wrong Okay, we're coming we are coming and being honest about the propaganda Okay, this is this is Jen's party.'s party if moment where he learns the wrong lesson Yes, everyone was out to get me. I just keep telling you Okay, so now we're back in the basement with keychain also keychains podcast back in the basement keychain Welcome to back in the basement with keychain. Okay, that is going to be Keychain's turn. He's up first.

He's going to just keep burrowing his teeth into the scarred meat by his arm all. You know what? That might be how a robot saws, right? They might see us as just meat. We are not different than the meat. I have developed a taste for flesh. I'm a human cracker. His first attack misses, but his second attack just hits!

Yes. And he does a whopping... 8 damage. You see that one of these guards is on a death's door. Jeff Bridges get in there. You see Jeff Bridges get in there. You see Jeff Bridges is like, huh, a fellow mechanical man, have you come to save me brother so that we can return to circuitopolis. Circuit City? To circuit city, the capital of circuitopolis. You live in a circuit city? I don't know if I trust Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha my own thing going on. Cool, that is going to be the two guards turns.

They are going to take swipes at keychain. He's fine. I'm worried, what will we do without him? That one misses. That one misses. They both miss keychain. Nice. Okay.

Jen's already forgot that we sent keychain somewhere. Okay. Keychain like ducks and dodges and swerves, mimicking perfectly the dance moves that are happening upstairs. Wow, it's like that scene and it's a speary. And that brings us to Onyx's turn. Okay.

On your turn Onyx, you see the prints, Buige by one of these floating horses floats up to you, grabs you and Jins and Nyak by the shoulders and says, Everybody, hold together now, let's do this! And for this round, you are going to be allowed to do dancing damage to the prince. Nice. Oh, interesting. I was going to make...

I'm going to get that attack damage in. Yeah, I was going to mage and the in. Yeah, I was going to make hands the egg over the ground behind this back. But I was, I will just do this. Okay, so first things first, I'm actually going to send the miniature ponies down to Keychain to check on him. I know realistically I don't know what's going on,

but I'm going to say there's too many ponies on the stage. Good, some of you go check on Keychain. I think that's fair that you would, you know, be worried about Keychain. Onyx is canon worried about Keychain. Me and Niyok are not. Yeah, very good point. Awesome, so you send the ponies down.

Yeah, and so there's, I believe there's five of them. That's how many I summoned. Let me double check that. Let me open up the spell. Okay, there's four of them. Oh, wait, it's three, four, five of them. That's how many I summoned. Let me double check that. Let me open up the spell. Okay, there's four of them. Oh, wait, it's three, four, five, six. There's six of them. Awesome.

I'm going to send all but the one that is buoyantly supporting the prince. Oh, great, cool. So five ponies. Yeah, five ponies will go join. Awesome. And then I guess now I will attack this prince with my dance moves Okay

24 to hit 24 hits Okay, sorry. I was not anticipating to do damage. So it's okay. This is your high school musical moment I did I know I've been bit by the bug. I did a hex blade curse em earlier. That's true. So this is convenient. Um, so my attack does 31 damage and then I'm going to eldritch smite. Thank God. Thank God. I can't do damage by myself. Okay. There's a lesson to be learned here, Jens. 31 plus 28 is what I rolled for my eldritch smite, so it's going to be 59 damage. Oh my god.

Thank god. And that's my first attack. Yausach! And my second attack will be 22. That hits. My next attack is 25. Good lord. And my second attack will be 22. That is? My next attack is 25. Good lord. Onyx, you all do the rocket kick together,

but every time you kick up your feet, eldritch balls of energy blast out of the tips of your toes and into the audience, but before they can damage anyone, they blast into just little sparkles of light. Everyone is losing their shit. It's so good. I don't know.

What do you say, Jens? I might be a performer, too. Yeah, let's not go crazy. We're an ensemble. I just feel really natural up here. We're all the same. We're all on the same team here. I usually at Trinstagram at Instagram other people other than myself

But perhaps I feel like if one of us became more famous than the other ones it would be crazy You're right. You're right. I should just keep following other people around and never turn the camera on myself Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. This is good. Yeah, we're an improv true The improv troop You could call yourself the K-T's. We have to be the K-T's. We have to. I'm in T-shirts.

No other option. Take a bloody marry. My advent is your turn. Well, now that I know that K-T's watching, I am, I guess, am I making a dance attack this round, or am I making a dance attack this round, or am I still using persuasion? Yeah, I think because you're all linked up by the prince, you need to make a dance attack this round.

Okay, sweet. So I still have my, I believe my arrows are still flaming. And I'm just gonna drop them out of my satchel and kick them into the air while we're doing the rockets thing. Okay. and kick them into the air while we're doing the rockets thing. Okay. Oh, good. More.

Even with my fucking plus 10 log bow, that's a 15. Wow. That misses. Yeah, well, I get another attack. You give yourself a hot foot. You put the fire out with your foot and it's just a regular ass arrow that you punted to the crowd.

Hold on one second. I take some grease from Jens, and I put it on my chest, and that's a 21. Nice. There you go, that hits. All right. That is a whopping 13 damn. Nice.

Niac, finish this dance. Yes. Damn nice Nyak Finish this dance. Yes This I this was never my dance I light my brothers knee high boots on fire and I And I float down and I sit cross-legged and I whisper Finish the dance brother. I stay on stage. I keep looking over at Alex over my shoulders.

I don't try to outshine Jens, but I'm like kind of still on stage. I take a ribbon, I wrap it around the prints, pull him in close and then I cut it loose as he falls, and then I'm going to dimension door immediately under him and catch him in a dip. Oh my god. I hit the fog machine again. That was the greatest work of craftsmanship and splendor I have ever seen. I have a secret I must tell you, Jens.

Before at my birthday party, I only wanted to dance with you. That was why I ran onto the floor and received that prick. You are truly an exemplar of our people. Thank you. Whatever it is you desire. It shall be old. Well, he doesn't need a car because he already has a Porsche. Well, well, well, we'll talk about that.

He drives a very nice car. Prince, you honor me, but you would honor me even more if you would bless my egg. What is it today with the goddamn eggs? Also yes, if I could get two, I know it's your birthday, I don't know what the rules are if we get like one favor per person, but for some reason and look, I don't totally agree with her on everything, but my friend here, Onyx, kinda obsessed with this robot guy who got sent to the dungeons. So Jeff Bridges, yeah, Jeff Bridges.

So number one, far and away number one, if you could bless the egg, that'd be great. Number two, deep, deep, deep, number two. Three Jeff Bridges. He is free Jeff Bridges. Can I throw on a third? You can take mine, I don't really need anything. Yeah, deep, never true. Free Jeff Bridges. He is free Jeff Bridges. Can I throw on a third? You can take mine. I don't really need anything.

Yeah, so on it's, of course. Okay, okay. We are an ensemble. Yes, triplets. The third would be, it seems like your Rebecca is like really good. And like, what if you like made Rebecca Prime Minister? Oh, wait, no, I actually want more crackers.

I thought of a, I thought of the- Okay, I thought of a favor. Nayak. Rebecca, Rebecca's solid. Rebecca is- Yeah, I think it's that. And I look over at Rebecca, a work friend because we work together.

Oh, brother, I had no idea. I'll find my own crackers. I'm sorry, Hanukes. I'll find my own crackers. You got a big bag of crackers. I didn't think it'd be enough. You took some for later. It's later.

Is it later now? Yes, you may have crackers. Yeah, it's technically later. I'm honestly overjoyed that you found a food that you enjoyed, Nia. They're so flavorful. It's good to see you eating. I hope we can fatten you up a bit.

Nia, go ahead and roll that Constitution check for me. Oh my good lord. You gotta be kidding me man. This is seven. Wasn't the original mechanic of this if you fail three times? Your Constitution goes down. Ha ha. You should not do that.

You've eaten so many crackers, and you puke them all up in one go, and just one giant loaf. God, it still looks like a cracker. Ha ha ha ha. You know, we try so hard to perform, and then Nia just effortlessly does it. You're a cat.

There's literally just no stomach acid. You just throw it up crackers. Oh, do you? Niaq, your constitution goes down by one. Oh no! No! Of course. Gwyn, can I undo that?

Count your spell. No, it's not a spell. Count your spell. It's just body. This is the fact he made. No. Yeah. No, I deserve that.

I deserve it. Just one point, though, not a whole ability score. Yeah, it's not going to affect his modifier, because it's just down by one. Yeah. Yeah, it's not. It's still zero. It's the score, not the modifier. Counter spell.

I don't know how to stop it. You counter spell them and since there wasn't any magic involved it just makes them puke another loaf. I like trisks too much. Okay actually. Yeah. I really shouldn't do this. What are you doing? I really, really, really don't think. Let's go through this and then I'll do what I'm doing. You see at the mention of Rebecca being Prime Minister, the Prince says, Yes, yes, she has served me so faithfully Indeed, I think that would be a wise idea You see he looks over at the current prime minister Howston you're out bud. You're fucking toast see you dude get out of here To the dungeons with you

yes no oh my god a political opponent put them in the dodges getting okay yes everybody i'm sorry sorry i got excited i got excited just get out of here yes you gots stake into the dungeon and what you tell me free Jeff bridges the metal man free Jeff bridges

but also free this dude because we don't have any proof that he necessarily do anything wrong I did not mean to monkey's father put yourself in the dungeon's cards you know I'm doing anything that anyone can tell you true the true. You know, Ron men, suffer when Ron men do nothing, and you are Ron men, and you need to put yourselves in the dungeon. Go in the dungeon. The guards look sheepish, they're like, you're right.

You're right. We deserve it. They start walking down to the dungeon. As soon as they get down there, they go, oh shit, oh fuck! There's a guy with a weird magic gun down here, and a robot, another robot! Yes, get him, stop it, whatever it is.

It's fine, listen, Prince, we really need us you to bless our egg. We really just need three favors. It's just, and there's three of us, it's fine. You hear the guards downstairs, scuffling with the minion of coin and you see that Rebecca has kneeled before the Prince and she says, to be the Prime Minister and serve this great land, sounds quite interesting. See, she's kind of awkward.

I graciously accept. She's like a good third friend. That's why I work friend. You know, she's good. She's good. You don't want to be alone with Rebecca. Right. Sounds like quite the resume booster.

Her parents are hot. Really? Yeah. Whoa. Your majesty, thank you. You see that Prince Aster, Dubs, Rebecca, the new Prime Minister, Rebecca the Solid, Prime Minister of all elevoss. And then he turns to you.

Now, present unto me, Vine egg. Great, this is not a Jeff Bridges egg, this is a very cool egg, although it is a little broken, but that's only because we're opening it in a cool way, hatching a familiar for yourself. Another pony, I imagine. Yeah, we love ponies.

Ideally, yes. I present the egg to the prince. Awesome. You, given the egg, he holds it up to his crown. And you see that one of the constellations, these little constellations that are implanted on the crown, it's not carved in, they're these embellishments that have been put on the crown.

You see one of the constellations melts off and turns into this like little silver sliver that swims through the air. And the sliver darts inside one of the cracks and then the cracks start to glow and they spread even further, and further, until the egg is covered in this beautiful lattice of pulsing white light. And as you stare at this light, it pulses quicker and quicker, and the light grows brighter and brighter

until eventually, whew! You're once again surrounded by a flash of white. And then when your vision clears, you see that you're still in the dome, but now you see Nidus standing in front of a kneeling, elven man, Nidhas smiles, then places their hand upon his temples. From the gods' fingertips, silver strands emerge. They wind and weave, and eventually become the Starland. Once the Enchantment is complete, Nidus beckons for the new King to rise. As he does, his eyes glow and his hair turn silver. In the crowd you see Nalar and Leont cheer loudly.

Nidus grins, and fires a bolt of enchanted light, much like your exonix, at the ceiling, and it erupts into a celestial display of fireworks. As they celebrate, you hear the hidden God speaking your ear once more. We hear the gods inside their prison. They cry out for a freedom they lost long ago. And then you are back in the dome. You see that all of the audience members, the nobles, and friends and family of the prince are cheering wildly, still just very much enjoying themselves, a little mad that there's no more crackers,

but honestly having a great time. And then, sorry about that. You see that the guards come back upstairs, they have apprehended the two guards that were under coin sway. Oh, geez, what happened there? Oh, Keachan, I didn't know you were here. I didn't know you came through to this plan. Where the hell the miniature ponies? Did you sacrifice all the miniature ponies? You see there's blood on Keachan's chassis. I do not want to talk about it. Okay,

Chassis. I do not want to talk about it. Okay, silence it is. I have had a day, but I have met a very good new buddy. His name is Jeff Bridges, and he has told me about a wonderful place called Circa Tropolis, which is very real. Circa City? Yes, that is the capital, of course. If okay with you I would like to go to circuit city Geez, I don't know I will let sure let's think about it guys guys Do we really just want to we want to lose key change just like that? I mean I I did not want to get rid of him but if if keychain finds if future for Themself, I do not want to stand in the way.

Kichain, do you really want to go to Circuit City? It sounds like a cool place, and I think that I could truly help these people. Okay. You have taught me so much, and it is time that I pass on my knowledge to others. Jens, are we going to be okay on rent without keychain? Keychain, what do you pay? Keychain, because I don't roughly two thirds. It's so weird that neither of you cared

when remembered keychain was around, but now that he's talking about leaving, you are feeling hesitation. I'm just worried about rent. Well, it's just, you know, it's kind of, kind of Rebecca style putting us in a weird situation. He changed kind of one of those friends too. It's kind of awkward, right? If you want, I could stay and help you in the final battle to come.

And then I could depart. Would that be better? Yeah, why don't we do that? Because like in this case, we had no idea anything was wrong. And then all of a sudden, you're going down there and you're saving Jeff bridges who okay, okay. Yeah, sounds sounds like a plan Jeff Can we do a ring check my dude? I think and rent wise we should keep the security department Yeah, if you could pay a few months ahead of time because you're kind of putting us you know

Of course, of course. Uh, Keychain writes you a check. Oh, one more. I feel so bad. I rip up the check. I rip up the check. No, we need to pay rent. So what are you doing?

We'll talk about it later. Keychain's the other person who pays. Uh, you see Keychain goes over to Jeff Bridges and puts a metal arm on his shoulder and says, I have tasks that I must complete first, but one day I will join you in circuit city. This is kind of art break. Don't worry Jeff Bridges, we will get them to you, okay? Safely, in one piece, and ideally on a miniature pony.

Yeah, and if on a miniature pony. Yeah, and if he helps us finish this last battle, we'll send him to you with lots of cool shit, I swear. Ha-ha-ha. Much weaponry. You see, Jeff Bridges nods, your word is as solid as the metal from which you are made. Till we meet again, brother.

And he rides out the door on a minitropony Okay, wasn't necessarily his to take but Goodbye Jeff Bridges. Hello keychain welcome back. So happy to have you back. Thank you for handling that Is the DOS is like essence still around or anything like that? I mean, you see that the two guards that were captured have some of the essence in them. They have like a BB amount of essence in them. Okay, I guess, don't we have one wish BB that wasn't enchanted by a nidass?

Yes. Can I, do I have a sense of if you have a reasonable wish that like that the BB will be more favorable to it? What do you want a wish for? Tell me your wish, I guess, and I'll rule it. I guess I'm trying to figure out whether I want to wish for Niaq to have 20 constitution or to go more reasonable, more achievable, and do like 12 constant years. Get him to plus zero.

Get him to 11. Here's the deal. Okay. This wish could backfire if you do it. Could I counter spell? No. Okay. This is unpredictable magic that can't be controlled If you roll twenty percent or lower His Constitution will stabilize

But if you roll higher than that It drops another point Oh, that's fine go for it I'm absolutely don't do it. I'm not going to do it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay tough but fair Okay, sorry, now I okay, tough but fair. Okay. Sorry, Naya. I thought maybe I could help you. It's fine. I'm actually feeling much better. I grabbed a little pickle from a charcuterie plate. Oh, he of here. Oh, I can't win it.

So as the guards as coins minions are taken away, you see that the prince looks back at you, Jens, and says, it seems that you've saved me in more ways than one today. Fathers! Fathers! You see, um, Albin and Bleaker walk over, yes, what is it, my son? What do you need, my son? Give unto Jin's, a princelyely reward for his service this day. You see, not wanting to put Aster in another mood,

they comply and touch their hands onto you and give you a small sliver of Nadasa's power as well. And you see your hand starts to glow with this silvery light, and you feel compelled to pull out your swords. And as soon as you do, they are coated in this sleek silver liquid and you can feel divine power flowing through them. And also, you get like a cool silver streak in your hair. Wow. Onexile. I guess you are 68.

Take a picture. Take a picture. Okay, you know what? I'm going to go out on a limb and trust the gins and I'm going to take a picture of Gins and put it on my turn cigarette main feed main feed. Yes, of course main feed. Where else would it go? Niaq? I would know I was I was saying main feed exclamation not question mark right Exclamation one because it's kind of like a question mark

I said main feed interesting You put it on the main feed. It belongs on the main feed. And that is where we'll end our session. Ha ha. Ha ha. Oh Whoo wow Jen's going on the main feed that's huge huge. It's got a lot of the main feed, huge looking good. My guy's got a salt and pepper now. Yet again, it's terrible character grub. We're regressing. The thing you care about most is getting featured on the main

feed of a popular Instagram. What more is there in life? Is the question. Thank you all so much for listening to this episode, everybody. I've got a few shout outs to get to, but first, it's been a while since we did any promotional stuff, huh? Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I guess you can listen to our short rest over on the Patreon Patreon that I've come slash NADPOP. It's NADDPOD don't sing yet. That's my plug as well. Yeah,

definitely check out our Patreon. We're going to be doing a short rest where I talk about how much of this episode I pulled out of my ass, which is a considerable amount. But if you would like to pull things out of your ass and put them in a box and send them to us, well, well, don't, absolutely don't. We need to pull them out. People will send us. Number one, don't. But if you have that impulse, think twice about it,

and then maybe, I don't know, buy us something or knit us something. And then you can send it to 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Feliz, California 90027. We have got some stuff from the PO box and I would like to shout it out. Number one, Max A sent us a tube of Dr. Pop-Haw's bomb. Whoa.

I'm actually already a user of that. Oh, then maybe I can use this bomb. It's good stuff. Yeah, you can hang onto it. Fantastic. Not only is- It's not a promotion. I don't know if they're, you know, I'm actually already a user of that. Oh, then maybe I can use this balm. It's good stuff. Yeah, you can hang onto it. Fantastic. It's not a promotion. I don't know if they're, you know, I'm just saying it's good stuff. Listen, we need balms in these uncertain times.

And Dr. Pop-Auz is there for us. Exactly. He's not just a lawyer. He's a skin care professional as well. It's a good balm. Ambrosia sent us an adopted llama from the Southeast Lama rescue, specifically for hard ones. Yeah, that was a hard one.

That's hard ones animal. So just don't let, we promise not to let hard one anywhere near it. That's all we can do. That was our solemn promise. Yeah, andbrosia adopted a llama for hard one and made him promise not to eat it. We will see if that hurts. It's so cute and makes me really happy. Yeah, Ambrosia adopted a llama for hard one and made him promise not to eat it. We will see if that hurts. It's so cute and makes me really happy. Yeah, thank you.

Well, Peggy sent us custom crochet dolls of all the band of boobs as well as one of Papa and Obsidian. My goodness, beautiful. They're incredibly cute. And you can check out Peggy's work on Instagram at hamilton.peggy.e. And last but not least, jazz, aka at4d plants on Insta, sent a beautiful framed drawing of superhero papa.

It's very sweet and we love it so much. Thank you so much, jazz. Thank you, jazz. Thank you, jazz. And that is all we have from the PO box. Very quickly, I want to shout out, Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription. Trevor Lion for producing.

Daniel Ramos and K. Matsuho for Soundmixing and Music. You can find Trevor on Twitter at LINE at large. Daniel at Shoobirds and K at Night Sharks with 2Ss. Also, of course, thanks to Yens Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode. Yens was, of of course at that duel and was instantly impressed by everything Niaq did no matter how low his persuasion role was. Wow.

Even the puke. Love the puke. Jens is a big pukehead disgusting. Why did I say that? And thanks so much to my nieces and nephews for playing this little game with me It's always my pleasure. You can find them on Twitter at CH Merfist Murf at eXford is Emily at Jake Herwitz is Jake and at call the is me you can also tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's in a ddp. Oh D O-D. We are, we are! The youth of the nation! We are, we are! The youth of the nation! Oh, beautiful! Not bad.

It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders, starting with Jeffrey S, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, Brad D, Cutter W, and Danielle the Dastardly Dame, the cool Elventines that mocked Jens on the streets of Ilivos, they recently launched a fashion line that's just closed made entirely out of wallet chains. Danny P, Dylan B, Alainacy, Howdor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and John S. A. K. A. Schubert in the Mushroom, Nobles and Attendance at the Prince's Coronation Ceremony. Even though all five of them were singed by Nyaxe Flaming Arrows, they still claim it was the best show they've ever seen. Jordan DJ, Scott D, Adam R, Mixologist Michael McD,

Boundorse Boy, and Jive G, Citizens of Circuit Opelus. These robotic residents spend all day chilling in hot tubs full of oil and playing video games inside their own brains. At least they did before tragedy befell their noble land. Hurry, keychain, circuit city needs you.

Just an eye, Elena M, Jacob C, Daniel R, cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, and TGM the Noan Barbarian, Trini Vallean explorers who lead and expedition to the fabled other side of the cube. Legend states that this unexplored realm is where the gods stored all the most powerful relics as well as their old exercise equipment and coats.

Destin C, Traylee the Cray Faye, Sergio Salazar, Solomon Sakurai, Stase Aquani, Kelvin Noodles, and Michael L. miniature ponies gifted to Prince Aster. They wake everyone in the palace up with their beautiful screams at 5 a.m. every morning and the entire nation is suffering as a result. Richard X Machina, Trast the Traveler,ory S. and Ryan Rebecca's new ministerial cabinet, they make sure every aspect of the kingdom of Ilivos is as solid as possible, which is why their first official act in office was to ban all liquids.

Try Mixy, Mike H, Nicholas C, Sam L, and Samuel B. Ilivosian producers, who just purchased the movie rights to Jen's story of redemption look for prixie business in theaters this fall. Zolo Dolo, Austin MR, Gage M. Colton B. Curtis S. and Yen's Christian T. A secret anti-rebecca league that fights against all that is solid. They are known as the Liquid Rebeckas. Matthew E. Andrew B. Riseness, Eric Anandre Abbey, Kaley Elise and Jordan L. A secret anti-anti-rebecka League that fights against the Liquid Rebeckas, they are known as the gaseous Rebeckas.

Matt M. Barnsonator, C.C. Lulu, Jerry,, J, and Talithx, a group of gnomes who popped out of a gift-rapped box to surprise the prince at the birthday party, the prince was delighted then promptly through them all in the dungeon. Christopher B, Daneji, Joe McGee, Persephone, AidenrH, and Austin C, other citizens around Ilivos who were celebrating a birthday the same day as the prince, they were all forcibly removed from the city and forced to confiscate their gifts. Eric G, Aroness, Lucas B, Luke H, and Timmy R, other royals who heard that the Prince Pricker would be at the Prince's party, so decided to attend via Zoom, lest they too be pricked. Zach C, Devon W, Michelle O, and Dan, a dance team that was also supposed to give the

Prince an interpretive dance for their birthday, but pivoted after seeing Retrieval Team 22 and settled on a Visa gift card. Omri M, Maxwell C, Mike K, Steven C, and Nikki W, the guards who were forced to wrangle obsidian as he rampaged through the castle, they will forever be haunted any time they hear a... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM key chain and Jeff Bridges if only retrieval team 22 did the least bit of work investigating. Maribel the Kidney Morphing gnome, Angel B, Esmeam, I am the atlas and Michael C, a crew of miniature moonicorn backup dancers who did a rock-kett style dance line that absolutely wowed the prince. Nicholas P, Robert F, Atticus C, and Casimir the All-Knowing,

Prince Aster's high school teachers who were in attendance. He graduated ahead of schedule at the young age of 37. Chris R. Michael K.M. Panama James, Eric McDee, Nathaniel P. and Rebecca O. the caterers at the Princess Party who were being screamed at by the royal family for not providing enough crackers after NIAC 8th amall. They are currently plotting their revenge. Nick L. Jack L. Temporal, Burley T. and Christian A. Rebecca's friend crew, each, is more solid and dependable than the last. J. Dragonborn Jonathan O. Michael M. The Red Rain and Drew Nasty, the birthday band that

had the unenviable task of playing along to Retrieval Team 22's extremely strange and erotic dance by matching the beat of stomping mini-municorn hooves. KJ Hordeauxfo, Dave H. and Feldonis, another crew of party guests that were sent to the dungeons for giving terrible gifts. They gave the prince home improvement on DVDs so they're not getting out anytime soon. Grant, Adrian the Halfling Bard, Eric B, John H.NN and Adam G, DJs Buds, they love to vape, make hilarious prank calls and do epic stunts. You should have seen last week when Grant

fully got a concussion when Adam G pushed him in a shopping cart down a ravine. New York, Nick W. Ryan W, Axel A and Christian S, Katie's pals, they love to shop, talk down to waiters and destroy people's egos as they slightly ridicule them but never enough to warrant the person defending themselves. One of their favorite things to say is, I noticed your haircut. Catherine S, Shadow, Ben A, Douglas A, Nathan and Big Bad John, the team of surgeons it took to minimize the Princess Scar after Jen's pricked him. Unfortunately, it's still kind of noticeable so they've all been beheaded. Brittany B, Emilio D, Frankie Koala, Keith K, and Cody B, a bunch of keychain robots who

are all attached to the same lanyard, which kind of makes them quintuplets, which kind of makes them two times better than the triplets. Felix F, David K, Richard J.M., Aston S, Cody C, and Fattie Daddy 187, fighters in the battle for Circuit City. They have fortified themselves in a radio shack and are thinking of their best plan of attack to get them by... Brookstone. Pork Chop, Rafael O. The San Drain, Shanille M. and Hannah W. Niax team of Tattoo artists.

It took the whole team to Inc NIAC's tribute to Norwalk and Z, pork chop to do the coloring and everyone else to hide their laughter the entire time so NIAC wouldn't realize it was a bad idea. Alice, depressed demon hunter, cronch, Patrick B, Alice A, and Master of Puppos, Blavins, poker buddies. Everyone loves playing with Blavins because he bets big and is constantly so sloshed that he lays his cards face up on the table. And that's it for this week gang. Thank you all so much for listening.

Thank you to all of our listeners and all of our Patreon subscribers. You can head on over to our Patreon Patreon.com slash nad pod to listen to our aftershow the short rest. And of course I forgot to thank our Council of Elders. Thank you to our council of elders. We will catch you guys next time. That was a hate gun podcast.