Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 22: Only Time Will Tell

Episode Date: July 26, 2020

CAMPAIGN FINALE! Having collected all three divine relics, Retrieval Team 22 summons their strength and attempts to save the planet from the wicked forces seeking to corrupt it. Jens does the ultimate icebreaker, Onyx has a falling out and Nyack swallows his pride as the tale of Trinyvale Triplets comes to an end.Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!CREDITS:Audio Production by Trevor Lyon (@LyonatLarge)Sound Design, Engineering & Post Production by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG) and Kei Matsuo (@Nightsharkss on Twitter).MUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "Shelga's Shields (And Swords)" - Daniel Ramos"Toxicity System" by Daniel Ramos"Road to Silverado" by Daniel Ramos"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum"Bedtime Buddies" by Anonymous"Epilogue" by Seth LeueSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority.

Plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineave.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire.

Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamineve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. This is a headgun podcast. Welcome to Trinavale. Trinavale. Trinavale.

Oh, to tears are falling down my eyes. Hi! We've come to the end of this world. How can you come to an end, and it's a cube? Just keep going around the cube. It's all you can come to. Oh, full of corners. Sad little corners where we sweep our hopes and dreams into.

What looks like the end is just a corner. Beautiful sentiment. A world where heroes rise and fall. Journeys start and end, and at the end of the day, we realize that the real treasure is the princes we hooked up with along the way. That's right. And they're cash. That's mostly the cash. It is. And we'll always be a true adventurers paradise. And will always be a true adventurer's paradise. Today's story begins in the floating metropolis of Vainedas. From high-atopist skyscraper palace, cash the conqueror watches as the moons above arc towards their inevitable intersection.

The newly crowned god of Trinaville Grins then raises his hand. Suddenly, the massive chains restraining his floating city shatter, and all of Vain Ados begins rising to the sky. Can our heroes unthrown this mercurial menace once and for all, or his cash truly king? Only time will tell, and so, without further ado, let us rejoin the Trinaville triplets and begin the final chapter of the Trinaville adventure. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, hello, friends, and welcome back to the table. I am your dungeon master, aka Dunkel, calledaltanner, and I am so pleased to be joined by Jenzlin Dell, AKA Simba,

cause I just can't wait to be king. Oh God. On its loom year, here to save the moon from a corporate goon. Oh Bravo finishing the journey as an attorney Nyak up the ran for very good Oh, that's true did Nyak pass the bar. I know Keith was probably disbarred He limboed under it. We've passed out at a bar He limboed under it. We've passed out at A bar.

You all passed the bar, but you're only allowed to practice law in the nomlands. So a little tricky, but. Perfect for me. I'll be a divorce attorney. The divorce right in Trinavale, oddly high. Huh. Okay. The tracks.

Wow. You know, people are swinging. What can I say? Okay, y'all, I know we're ready to get back to the thrilling conclusion of our adventure, but first, how about a quick recap? Absolutely. Give me that, Rhys. I love it. Alrighty.

So, when last we met, U3 had received the Prince of Ilavas' blessing, and were granted access to the second divine relic. A garland of stars, known as the Starland. You use this relic to further crack the golden egg within which the hidden god sleeps, and then stuck around a partied up with Hyalvan society. While there, Jens found himself falling head over heels for the Prince's sys immense wealth and power, and spend a magical evening looking at all of his money.

The next day you received a call from Onyx's nomish lover Keith informing you that he had discovered the identity of the final divine relic. It turns out the jeweled tinkers tool from the rhyme was actually a magical gaville capable of altering one's fate. Keith explained that it was used in high-profile nomish court cases, and then, in a strange twist of fate, revealed that Onyx and her brothers were actually being summoned to appear in this very court to stand trial for the crimes of stealing a nomish relic

and murdering the mad Clockwork Queen. And so you ventured forth to Handelia, the capital of the nomelands to try and clear your name. After a brief investigation and a stay in the Ritz-Snarleton, courtesy of Jen's new bow, you headed to the trial where you were greeted not only by the mythical gavel you've been seeking, but also a giant five-headed dragon jury.

Using a combination of Onyx's wits, Nyaxe's evidence-gathering skills, and Jind's immense knowledge of magical haircare, you were able to prove Onyx's innocence to the jury and reveal that in fact it was the nomish queens 12 children who murdered her so that they could steal the divine essence that dwelled within her as an aspect of the Doss. However, before you could celebrate Thurselia, one of the Queen's daughters, reminded you that you were still guilty of the crime of theft, and as such must face judgment from the magical gavel.

And so, after touching the hammer, you were informed by the spirit dwelling inside that for justice to be dealt, you must each give up a part of yourself. Tearfully, Onyx gave up her bebe parasite Katie, and then, with completely dry eyes, Jins and Nyak did the same for DJ and Kenny. I like and say as I'm sure we are all dressed in morning today. I'm so sorry, who was DJ? The Gavils smashed the bugs to bits, freeing you from their spectral tether to your soul. However, before you could mourn slash celebrate, the defeated nomish children melted into

the giant face of cash and delivered an update about his master plan. It seems he had grown tired of waiting for the moons to align and decided to use a haste spell to accomplish his goal more quickly. As you watched in shock as the Moon's orbits accelerated, Keith revealed that you now only had three days left before cash transforms the small moon of Trinavale into a giant BB and uses it to control the world. And that is where we are now. So, you feel this loud rumbling, and you rush outside of the courthouse and look into the sky.

Up above you see palos and polyks moving towards alignment, but now you also see the unchained city of Vena Doss floating slowly into the sky as if on a collision course with the two moons. As you watch this, Keith thinks for a moment, then turns to you and says, would you mind terribly if I borrowed Keychain? I have an idea and hopefully just enough time to put it together. I think we should ask Keychain. Keychain. Oh, Keychain.

I thought that Keychain was Keychain. That was Keychain, right? No, I thought Kichain was Kichain. That this is Kichain, right? No, no, no, we still have Kichain. Kichain said another robot. Kichain, come here. Hello. Come here, Kichain.

Okay, here I come. No, be shy. Go on. Kichain licks your hand with a tongue you never knew he had. Good boy. I asked classic Kichain behavior. Who could forget that Kichain is the dog? I guess.

Damn, damn, damn. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Good, good, good. Yes, very good keychain. There's a dog and a cat. Good catchain. It's me, your little kitty boy. Okay. Can I have a treat or some catnip?

Yes, I give him the wish BB. Oh my god. My tackle on it. I feel so powerful. Go fight in circuit city, my friend. Keith turns to Keith Aynon and says, Keith Aynon, if you would be willing, I have a plan that I think could aid our triplets greatly in the battle to come.

And Keith Aynon says, I will do anything for my three best friends. Flashroom mates. Let's get to come. And Keachane says, I will do anything for my three best friends. Lashroom mates, let's get to it. Okay, just remember to take his doggy bag and his leash and his tiny little cat litter. Oh yes, he also grain free. We do grain free. We keep chain. Always have. I poo, Pane box. That's true, thank you, Chai Soma. Now I'm concerned, do we also, because I confuse DJ for keychain, do we also own a cat that we are confusing for keychain and no one is watching? We don't have a cat, right?

Mike checks all his bags. No, that's obsidian. That's obsidian, and obsidian's okay. Maa! Obsidian. Okay. No, no, doesn't sound right. Sounds sick, but. Okay, I'm okay. Maa! Obsidian. Okay. No, no, doesn't sound right now. Sounds sick, but.

Um, okay, I'm going to go. You should probably call your neighbor at your apartment or something and make sure that if you have a cat that it is alive. Anyway, good luck, goodbye. A herring departure. Thank you, key. You see Keith and Keychain run off towards Keith's apartment slash laboratory and get to work.

Wow. And now, you three are all alone in the nomelands. You have three days before the moon's a line. What do you want to do to prepare? I guess first and foremost, do you want to touch the tinkers tool to the egg? Yes, I think we should do that. I have another sort of money-making thing that I think that we should do. Okay. I also have a money-making thing going. And I also, I suddenly, there is something about this past battle that I feel suddenly more powerful. Like, if I found really good armor and I touched it, I would be proficient with it.

Interesting. So I'm going to, I would like to go armor shopping. That would be on X's to do list. Okay, great. After we touch the gavel to the egg. Cool. So let's do the egg first and then armor later. Egg first, armor seconds, not good.

Actually egg first and then I've got a little bit of law to perhaps practice. Okay. All right, all right, all right. Yeah got a little bit of law to perhaps practice. Okay. All right, all right, all right. Yeah, just a text of me here to do listing. We will get to it first. You pull this egg out from one of Niax mini glove bags and you hold forth this gavel, which I guess the judge just let you have.

You just ran out of the courthouse with it and you hit the egg with the hammer. And as you do, you see the cracks that were already on it, divide and spider even further, and a fierce light starts to glow inside. Then the egg explodes. Psh! Whoa. And you're sucked into another vision. Oh.

As your eyes focus, you see the three gods standing in an ornate but slightly cramped workshop. Their faces are lit by the glowing fire of a celestial forge. Leont fans the furnace's flames as a team of gnomes slowly removes an ornate-guilded hammer from its mold. The gnomes then hand the gabbled to Nalar for inspection. He smiles, then with a flick of his wrist, implants gleaming emeralds into the tool. He then hands the hammer to Nadas, who speaks a spell of awakening into the device, bringing the hammer to life.

The gnomes all cheer and begin to dance as a new age of justice dawns in the gnomes lands. As this celebration unfolds, you hear a voice whisper burned your ear. Our eyes are now open, and once more, we must bring justice to this world. The vision fades and you find yourself back in reality, and now, floating above the shattered The shattered remnants of the egg is in a morphous golden figure that thrums with divine power. With every pulse its form changes. At moments it resembles a liquid star, at others a panoply of gears. And others still, an ocean of unblinking eyes. You feel its presence reach out to you, and then it speaks once more in your mind. You have done it.

Through your efforts, we have finally been granted form. However, for us to reach our full potential, we must rescue the tribe from caches foul grass. In the meantime, we will require a vessel so that our power can be properly channeled. I have, I push Obsidian forward. Ha ha ha. The entity scans Obsidian. It's golden tendrils pulsing like radar. And then it settles.

Noble beast, your heart is as bold as your cry. and its settles. battle that what save you Obsidian turns and looks deeply into Onyx's eyes Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I really honestly, we've been doing a vocal trainer and it's another working. I'm gonna cancel all my PayPal's to him. Oh, we are afraid that the golden god goo is going to make obsidian speaking even louder. The entity flies into obsidian's mouth and he lets out a cry, not of pain, but of awakening. Maw. Maw. Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and from it a new voice emerges. Hello friends, it is I, golden obsidian.

The hidden god has gifted me the power I need to rescue the Trine. Now let us get to work. Wow, okay, actually I'm going to tip the vocal trainer. Uh, Golden Obsidian, you don't remember any of the stuff we said about you when you didn't have full intelligence, right? I only remember your love in the small moments that it existed. Oh, great! So we're good. He said small moments. That was passive aggressive. It was passive aggressive, but I mean you must notice that we only give each other small moments as well.

Indeed. Life is just a bunch of small moments. Really? Life is big moments of selfishness with small moments of kindness. You are a love star, trio. You take what you can get, but I sense that the potential for more within you and thus I shall aid you in your quest. Appreciate that golden obsidian. Do you know if the god goo is told to you anything about like just kind of like a nice hotel around here or anything like that? Oh, yeah

nicer than the ritz n'Arlton. Oh the ritz n'Arlton was in the nom lands should be you know we trash that room It was nice. We did we just need a new room and we need a third TV Okay, if we can have three TVs and a sweet I'm gonna text the prince Good you I just want to pop off a text and I'm going to text the prints. Yeah. Good you. I just want to pop off a text and I say, hey babe, sorry I haven't answered your walls of text. Just want to let you know I'm busy. I don't know if you saw that the moons were all coming together, but I'm going to handle

that. LOL. It could use a little cash though. If you could just pop it in my bank account, I link my Trinny Vale Venmo, my Trinmo. Great. I need a little bit of cash for another suite and then a little bit more.

And some things you can play around with. And something to play around with. I need around two grand of gold for spell components. Remind me of like how expensive the nomlands are. Let's all let's not forget that the nomlands are extremely expensive and seeing the princes paramour out in just like a regular hotel or something could be really damaging to the royal family. TT while, wink you face. And a selfie, send a selfie as well.

And I send a selfie, super, super high angle, hiding my ghost feet. Not that I have. I honestly so much makeup kicked into those groceries. I'm so sorry, are you? Naya is holding a ring light. It's more like speckle Agents draws a sword I think I become your makeup artist and I use my illusion on your face

You do see that the last text from the Prince was what do you think our color is question mark question, question mark. And then you text him this request and you see the dot, dot, dot appears and then he just says, for you, the world babe, winky face. Wow. You know, it's like I had this really healthy thing with Keith that was like maybe blossoming but now I want what you have maybe.

It's honestly perfect. Yeah, it's nothing of me. I give him nothing. And I just take, I take, I take. Cool. So you get all of your stuff out of the Ritz Snarlton and you move to your new hotel at the holiday infinite. Whoa, OK.

OK, as long as they have a penthouse, I guess. Yeah. Jen, are you mad that he didn't put us up in this nicer hotel to begin with? I'm kind of furious, but it's... What are we gonna do? Well, are you about to when I get home? Cool. Cool.

So you are at the holiday infinite plotting your next moves. You've got like a little improvised war council going on here amidst all of the towels and the free soaps. What are you going to do? Right turn on friends. Natch, of course. We got friends on. Oh, this is a good episode.

Go to an obsidian. What is your favorite season? It would have to be where Joey puts the turkey on his head. I think that was Monica. Oh shit. Golden Obsidian, you don't know anything about friends. So you really... That turns to Chandler and Monica say,

I love each other to each other. That is a good episode. I was lying, I've never seen friends. Golden Obsidian. Then you haven't seen them say I love each other to each other. I wanna watch the ones with Marcel. We'll start from the beginning again. Marcel gets kicked off, so this is just,

the Venn diagram is just a circle. We'll start with episode one. Very good. Okay, so we park Obsidian and all of the collective intelligence of this glowing golden entity in front of the beginning of Friends. Obsidian like sits down in that weird way that horses do and then after the first joke, after Chandler's first rye observation just goes, oh, this is going to be a lot. Chandler doesn't stop, he doesn't get less funny.

It only gets better. Impossible. This is already the pinnacle of entertainment. I would like to go to the ice machine. And I would like to fill just like several wheel barrels full of, like just, I just want to get a whole like luggage rack and fill it with ice. Okay. And then I put it all in the bathtub. And I, I turned to Onyx and Nyak and I say, you know, we are the strongest triplets, but I think it might take quadruplets to defeat Cash. Onyx, will you let me sculpt you?

I just robe. Jen just goes with it. I am going to cast this takes 12 hours. Gens just goes with it. I am going to cast this takes 12 hours. I'm going to spend 12 hours casting the seventh level spell, Simulacrum. Yeah. You shape an illusory duplicate of one beast or humanoid

that is within range for the entire casting of the spell. The duplicate is a creature partially real and formed from ice and snow and it can take actions and otherwise be affected as a normal creature. It appears to be the same as the original, but it has half the creature's hit point maximum and is formed without any equipment. Otherwise the illusion uses all the statistics of the creature it duplicates. So I'm going to make an Edward Sizzerhand style with my sword dancing and ice Onyx, who is Onyx, but just with half her hit points

and no armor. Hahaha. Frosonix. Hahaha. Fronix. Frosonix. Frosonix too. Wow.

So she is beautiful. This is how for Ozonix too. Wow. So, she is beautiful. This is how you see me. I shall name her Olaf. Olaf and Onix, this is beautiful. I hung Olaf. So this is just like a familiar essentially that can act in battle. Yeah, it takes 12 hours to cast,

but after I have made it, it lasts until it's dispelled. Very cool. And so since it has all my abilities and stuff, it can summon a packed weapon and everything. Jesus. So, it has all my world capabilities, I believe. Yes, so there's just a second Onyx that has half the HP. And now we are Quadruplets.

But I'm pretty sure she's just like a, an ice monster who can't talk. Yeah. Oh no. I messed up something with the vocal cords. Let me try. Quadruplets. Okay, she's more beautiful than she is eloquent, which is maybe just my type. Cool, so the wamping is already begun. What else you got? I would like to go shopping for

some armor, and possibly now for, can I put armor on my little simolecrum on the little Olaf? Yeah, she just acts as a copy of you. Okay, if anyone would like to go armor shopping. Yeah, I'll come along. Yeah, I was planning on using just start value to try to sort of get some good deals. Oh, I would love to steal some armor from some arbories.

Cool. So you're going to steal or just, I guess, how does Distort Value work? You cast a spell on an object no more than one foot on a side, but since it's a fifth level spell, it's actually five feet, doubling the objects, perceive value, or reducing it by half. So I'm basically, I'm not sure if I'm gonna go in and try and sell some stuff to get better armor. I basically just really wanna get the best armor I possibly can and I'm willing to cheat to do it.

I'm willing to cast a story value to do it. And if any of you want anything, I would also scam others for you too. Tom down. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, if you need anything. Yeah, I think I can't get much better armor unless it was like magical and plus one, but I can come along and give you a bar of inspiration so you can deceive people even better. I will be unstoppable. Wow, look at us all working together to screw over other people the quadruplets Cool, so you go to Shellgas shields and shorts

Shell guy In in the shopping district in the nomlands, okay, you enter the store. Hello. I am Shell guy. Welcome. Oh Okay. You enter the store. Hello. I am Shalga. Welcome. Oh, okay. Wow.

It's so great when you go to a store with someone's name. Like, if you go to Michael's Arts and Craft, it's usually not Michael behind the counter. You've never met Michael, though I've tried. Yes, well, I do have several ice simulacrums that I use at the other stores, but this is our flagship. So, of course, you're going to get the authentic Shellgey experience here. Yes, we have our we also have an Olaf. Oh, look at that. Interesting, very cool. We did like some ice chips.

I can't say no. I can't say no. I mean, I guess that's like feeding a person's skin, but it looks like she's excited for the ice chips. Yeah, she's pumped. Give her some ice chips. OK. Yeah, Shelga feeds some ice chips into the slot where Olaf's mouth is. OK. KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP KEEP K I'm wondering if you had a really expensive section. Oh, yes, of course. Like, what is the nicest armor that you have,

and also do you buy anything? Yes, we do some trade-ins, of course. Okay. What can I take off your hands? Can I do distort value on the Nalarian time dagger? Ooh, okay. I have this very, very ancient, impressive toothpick of the gods. Oh!

Onyx, don't give that away. I'm not a jealous of good. You can't, it's too valuable. That's worth tens of thousands of gold. That's... I know. I picked it from the tooth of Nidaz, thereself, but I must do it for the armor.

Tens of thousands, you say? No, no, no, no. This is it's simply not for sale or trade. Prince Aster, who I'm currently hooking up with, and things are getting pretty serious with, is currently texting me right now. Wow! I think he's going to be pretty upset. The top loits were true! It's true.

Prince Aster didn't say, please save this for me, but I have fallen on hard times and I just need the money. Remind me how to start value works. Is it just like a spell? Or is there any role I need to make? It's a spell. Oh yeah, you can do an intelligence save against my spell DC.

And my spell DC is... Should be 19 if you have six charisma. Yeah, okay, it's 19. Okay, 19. I'll roll it with disadvantage. Okay. 12 to 15. Yes, Shellga is totally sold by this amazing dagger,

which is pretty cool on its own, but I think now the value has been highly inflated. They're like, ah, yes, I must have this for my collection. Actually, yes, this would be a perfect addition to my rare armory. Would you like to come and see? Yes, we would. Okay. Alright, this way. Shelga goes over to a suit of armor and does a very intricate handshake with it and then this wall pulls aside and you see this secret hidden armory in the back full of just enchanted relics and cursed swords gleaming halberds shields with

eyes blinking on them all sorts of cool shit and and she goes and puts the time dagger on a little pedestal. Okay, and what can I offer you in return? I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm feeling really generous, so maybe each of us just do something, maybe in return instead of, you know, demanding the high price of the piece Hmm for three people I might require something else. Do you have anything in a Let's say a plus one studded armor a plus one or plus two plate maybe and

Niaq what do you what do you wear? Niaq what do you have do you have any do you have anything for gut health? He'll take the same thing as me. Thank you. I have a metamusel. Okay. Yeah. Maybe if you had like a plus one or maybe like a plus two heavy armor or something like that maybe a couple of them, you know, just a couple. Okay.

I think for this dagger I can give you a plus two piece of armor and then a plus one armor for your friend here with the very, very high boots, which are stylish again, right? Because the other week they weren't, but they are again. Yes, they're very stylish in the nom lands because we just wear them as pants. Oh.

And then can I take the medium armor I have and then just store value on that and be like, and what about this actually armor that has been worn by Zephutra King, theirself? Please don't listen to our sister, she's sick. She shouldn't be giving this stuff away. You can also grab the armor that she was gonna give to me and look at it and go.

And first off, wink at Alex for her to cast Reduce Value on it. Reduce Value? Okay. Okay, and then after she casts it, I go, well, this shouldn't be in here at all. This isn't high quality. We'll do two of these would make more sense than just the one. How did Zet get in here? You see that the armor now is like an Ed Hardy pattern on it.

Wow. Oh yes, that's very trashy. What is Z doing in here? I have no idea. Yes, yes, yes. You can have that for discount. For Zedaga, I will give you that piece of armor, the rare piece of armor you are asking for the plus two. And yes, for this other piece of armor, I think perhaps I could find something for your friends.

Got. Yes, yes, that is wonderful. That's more of a sort of NIAC concern than it is a group concern. We're trying to get him actual armor, like clothes. I don't want to wear a shirt, brother. Okay, so you are currently getting the plus two armor for Onyx, the plus one armor for Jens, and if this distort value check goes poorly for me,

Shellga will throw in a plus one armor equivalent for Niaq. Okay? Okay, all right. I'm going to roll it straight though, not with this advantage. Okay. That's a Nath one. Yes! Does that mean that we get some metamusel on top? So yes, you see that Shelga seems totally one over by your bartering skills

and just feels a deep desire to help you on your quest. So she, Onyx, gets this beautiful piece of ancient plate mail for you. As soon as you put it on, it kind of shifts and shimmers to fit whatever style you're feeling that day. Oh, it's a pan-tuit. Actually, no.

Let's go back to girly. I'm wearing sort of a Victorian frock. Yes, nice. We like a bit of a hoopie scared. Some sort of like what do you call it? House of lords sort of shoes and like a stocking that goes up to the knee. Beautiful. As you put on this armor, it turns into a full metal hoop skirt. Ooh, hell yes. And, George, what do you think your armor looks like? I think Jens is going for sort of a hot goth look. I think Jens is going to come out of this kind of looking like a young chrysanjal.

That was a bit... Young, emphasis on young chrysanze, right. That was a bit. Young emphasis on young Christians, right. Once again, I'm over time with the minor illusion. I am. I'm the crust speaker. The mind freak. When Christangel was like 91 years old,

more of a David Copperfield style. Do you want armor as well? Nia, do you want to be twins or no? Yes, I was, I didn't say it. I'm just trying to be Chandler brother, I'm sorry. I should never aspire to be the funniest friend. We all know Chandler's all areas. You should Niagara like an ill fitting Chandler outfit.

Actually for your friend there, your shirtless friend, I have something very special. And she opens up a cupboard and from it pulls out a box of core flakes, which is a bowl of fiber and iron rich cereal that if you eat a whole box of, will boost both your con and your AC. Wow. I have to eat the whole box all at once right now or can I do it over the course of the next three months?

No, you got to do it all right now. There's only two servings in here. I think you can, that's just like two people having a couple bowls of cereal. You know what? Honestly, having eating on camera is something that can actually be very soothing for people to watch. So I'm going to take a social media post of this. Yeah. Naya, get to eating.

Eat it now. Naya is sweating. Okay. You got it. And action. I pour in some oatmeal. You're nice to down to eat. Brother.

Sister. Sister eat it. Come on. This is going to go. If you're sitting, it's going to look weird. Only good things at the bottom of this box. It's a really big spoon, is all. Get a smaller spoon, please, Shelga.

Thank you, that's the smallest spoon. Okay, please. By closing it up. I'm sorry, this is a novelty spoon because we have so small that we need to eat the big spoon. It's funny, I'll get you a normal spoon, one second. She brings you a spoon that's way too small. That's better.

This is gonna take a really long time way too small. That's better. This is gonna take a really long time. Nah, that's fine. Onyx, you see that all the comments on your Instagram post are hashtag spoon goon. This spoon goon. Alright, I'll roll. I'll give him a bardic. B bardic, yeah, okay.

Okay, I'll use the bardic. Come on, eat it. What? Eat it, you dumbass. It'll use the bardic come on eat it. It's eat it you dumbass It's just cereal screaming at him. Can I cast freedom of movement? I usually can only cast on myself can I do it on his intestines? Oh my god So he doesn't get any blockage yet. That's a good call. Yeah, absolutely. What does that do for me? I Don't I guess roll the advantage Yeah, dude, that's how I was asking and you have a D12 of our to get inspiration

That's a nat 20 baby So incredible. Thank you on Xniac You get two big spoonfuls of four flakes into your gut and you feel a sense of calm. You have not felt in a long, long time. Your AC goes up by one and your constitution goes up by one point. Not one ability score but one point Yeah, it's zero baby back to zero Back to zero that is character girl. You did it brother. You ate a meal

You ate one meal wow you made that look really hard Hashtag spoon goon hashtag back to zero. hashtag back to zero. The spoon goon goes back to zero. After like three months of us hanging out, you have consumed like 400 calories. I don't know how you're alive, but you had like 300 of those calories out. So I'm proud of you. Wow.

Before we leave, I want to just kind of really solidify the scam by looking longingly back at the dagger as if I'm really said to part with it. Nice. I will let you come visit it. I hope it finds a good home, you know. I'm so sorry. I don't usually cry like this. Honest, come on. We need to go. We made the deal. She ripped you off and that's just how it goes. Let's get out of here. I miss this divine tooth pick. I throw cry when I look at knives. And with that, I'm afraid we must make our leave.

My freak and then I turn all of us invisible. Where did they go? Where did they go? make our leave. My freak and then I turn all of us in this bowl. Where did they go? Where did they go? You see Shoga picks up the big spoon. Stay back, stay back. Awesome. So it took 12 hours to make a simulacrum.

I'm going to say it's probably the night of the second day now. Yeah, I think we stayed up all night making the Cimulac robe then went to bed during the day, then went there in like the early evening, and then I just mine freaked her. Classic night time mine freaked. Classic night freaked. So yeah, it's the night of the second day. Is there anything else you want to do before the third day dons?

I'm ready for battle. Hell yeah. As you're walking back to the hotel actually, Onyx, you get a call from Jettin Carbonne. Oh! Oh no! That's so weird! Our other brothers, hello!

Hello Onyx! How are you? I'm good, me and the tripods are good. That is great to hear. Things are less than great here. The moon is moving very fast. It's wondering if you noticed that. You hear carbon in the background going, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH It feels as if we are, but not we are on the moon. Should we perhaps evacuate?

Yes, I think you should because I think they're trying to turn the moon into a butter finger BB and use it to control the world. So if you have if you could maybe gather up all the moon of corns and your favorite neighbors, you might want to come to Trinivell for a little bit. Thank you. Yes, we will do that. Yeah, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I thought maybe we would stop him before it had an effect on the moon, but you're right, I should have called. It is okay, you've got a lot on your plate. Apparently you are going to be saving the world, we're here?

Yes, I'm also kind of a lawyer now too. Oh! Oh, and Obsidian has been touched by a golden grace. Yes. Hello, Jett. Carbonne, it is so good to hear from you. Also tell them about Olaf. Oh yes, also there is a ice- Jen, one of my triplets made,

an ice version of me that is superior. And she is beautiful and named Olaf. Oh, a little blizzard sister. Amazing. A blizzard sister. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee see you soon. Okay, we are going to go with the other inhabitants. Are there enough means of evacuation for Zepetitman or do we need to help? Yes, I believe all of us alongside the moonicorns should have enough power to cast the teleportation spell. So we will define. Thank you very much for asking so. Okay, absolutely, absolutely. Okay, I love you very much. You hear carbon in the background. Did we figure it out? Are we okay?

Yes, carbon. Everything is going to be fine. Come down. It really sounds like he's an aerologic. It's not moving that fast. He's being a big baby. Yeah, that sounds like carbon. Okay, we love you kisses.

Okay, kisses. Love you. All right, go up on chance. Okay, on chance. Over. Kisses. Kisses. Mama mama mama mama. The driplets and a bunch of... Okay, a bunch of... Or a rock bar. Kisses. Kisses. Kisses.

Mama mama mama mama. The driplets and their kisses. Good bye, Goodbye. Yes, kisses. Kisses, true. Yes, get off the roller coaster. It's inappropriate for you to be doing that at this time. Ah, kisses!

Wow, I can't believe I almost did not alert them to what was going on. I am a very bad sister. Not to us. You're a good sister to us, if that means anything. Good, good, good. And you're a great older sister to Frosanix too, Olaf. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Aaaaah!

See, she loves you. Ha, ha. I'm somehow braiding her hair. I think it's weird because since I made her now normally, I can't stand to anyone that's not you too, but for Ozonix too, Olaf, I really have a soft spot for her. Hahaha.

She's my beautiful daughter. Yeah, we are triplets, but she's your daughter. Oh, speaking of classic, my act looks at her jealous. All right, we're not going to leave those two in the same room. Let's get some shattered ice. Maybe we'll set the set the thermostat on pretty high tonight. I taped the thermostat where it is. For Sonics to Olaf, I have a president I'd like to give to you.

And her my bald up old studded leather armor. That's for you. I don't. I have clenches as this. I don't need it anymore. Fatherhood is really, really good on you, Gens. I know. I could sell this and probably get a little bit of gold. I've mostly ruined it, but I'd like you for you to have it instead. For Zonix to Oloff starts trying to put the armor in their little mouth slit.

Oh, no, no, we don't need to do that here. Let me help you with that. And I do the parent thing where you zip up too high and I catch your chin in it Oh, I'm sorry for us Alex too. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Okay, okay, let's all be careful. Nia could you spot me make sure I don't I don't zip too high Yeah, maybe she should carry this fucking glove back to Yeah, kicks the glove back Spoon goons out for blood

What is it will done to you. So now, and do you want to just keep track of frosonics to all out? Yeah, I've got her AC and her hit points. So her AC is now 12 plus her decks for studded leather. Okay, so our AC is 16 and our 8 points are 54. Great, awesome. More guilt-free NPCs for me to kill, thank you. I'm very attached to Rosadix too a lot.

Cool, so night falls on the second day. You see the moons inching closer towards each other up in the sky, gleaming menacingly now, and you all fall asleep. I think Jens does like spa day stuff, staying in this nice hotel and then occasionally just looks out the window and sees the moon and goes, ah, and is reminded reminded of terror that's coming. Yeah, is there anything else you want to do before we launch into battle? I see, just like, sleep as a little less I need to, to go into battle, I think I feel ready. Awesome. I think we just are gonna get Gold Obsidian as caught up on friends as we can. So, you drift off to sleep, listening to Obsidian's scream laughing at friends.

Ha ha ha ha! London baby! Oh, we're that far. Don't get too attached. Don't get too attached to Russ and Emily. That's all I'm saying, gold Obsidian. A London wedding! What could be better? Joey style.

Gold obsidian is a Joey. Haha. Ah, so yeah, you all drift asleep. Your mind filled with the terrifying images of these two moons. And then, the dawn of the third day arrives. You see the moons are almost aligned and you see now everyone all over Trinneville can see the floating city of Vena Dost

just kind of hovering over the planet as it makes its ascent towards the larger moon. What do you wanna do? We've got to get to the airport. Yeah, get to the airport so we can go there. Do we wanna take a golden swan there? I would get to the airport. Yeah, get to the airport so we can go there. Do we want to take a golden swan there? Or? I would prefer to.

OK. I don't really like to travel any other way now at this point. And at this point, we probably have a lot of jet blue points. But I feel like we should save that in case the prince breaks up with me. And we need to travel first class in our own time. Yeah, let's save the points. And we're going to need to pay extra because we have, let's save the points. And we, we're gonna need to pay extra

because we have a lot of bags with us. Now we have extra people. We're bringing extra stuff. Naturally, if you prefer, you can all ride on me. To the airport? You could take us to the airport. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, we could get to the airport, do you mean?

Oh, naturally, of course. You see if Citi and Grozen size, allowing all three of you to climb on. And he, he clops his hooves and bleeps into the air and flies you all to the airport. Wow, this was so fast we probably could have watched another friends. We're here early. I mean, we might as well go to Chili's. I hate getting to the airport early, but okay. I love it. Sit down, Melee.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, good. Look at this. It's like I'm on vacation already. I get a margarita. Cool. So you all sit in the Chili's to go at the airport, getting yourselves mentally prepared for the battle to come.

And as you all harden your resolve for the task ahead, you do feel the slivers of Nidasa's power that dwell within you begin to blossom and flourish. And as a result, you each gain two levels. And you can take a bonus feat or raise your ability modifier by one. Additionally, Nyaak, you and Jens now have plus two, plus two weapons. And Onyx, as the inheritor of the aspect of Murth from Verlis,

you can now raise your charisma score above 20. Woo! And I did. Something in those jalapeno poppers. Oh my god. Wow, these are are the best mozzarella sticks I've ever had Sorry, I'm still thinking about a plot line from friends Love to know yeah, which one specifically I want to laugh. I love the holiday armadillo episode a classic Okay, I have not seen that one.

It's a city in Wyoming. Where were you? We were watching all the seasons on two separate TVs. Did you jump ahead? Were you talking to Katie? Katie specifically wanted to jump ahead to win. Paul Red was on the show. Katie likes to watch shows backwards,

which is like kind of cool. Anyways, I miss her. It might have been when you were chiseling eyelashes onto Frosonix Ola. That's true, that's true. All right, so you all down your margaritas and then you rush to your gate. You rush to our gate.

Oh, we're almost late. We had way too good a time at Chile's. You see the person at the front desk is like, mm, almost missed it. And then you board the airplane. You're the only people on this airplane because you somehow convinced a pilot to fly you towards a floating island.

Yeah. I think right before we land, at the very end of the flight, Olaf and Onyx cast Freedom of Movement on themselves with their tricksters escape. Hey, Mama! Sorry, good. I'll apply my magic sunscreen and see what I'm, what I'm resistant to today. Ooh, nice. Light me.

Ooh, that'll come in handy. Oh, that could be. we are in this guy. Oh, there we go. Oh, I forgot, I took a feat. I took a feat that is weirdly appropriate and inappropriate for gens. I took inspiring leader. What?

So, right, as we're on this plane, I guess I want to give a speech to Onyx and Nia. Can you do it on the plane sort of megaphone? Yes, I like a beautiful fighter tent. I kick in the door to the cabin. Oh dear. Oh, Jen, it's good to see you. It's me, Slooper! Oh, hey, hey, I...

Keychain, did you live in our house for a little bit? Glad then? Yeah, for like a day or two. Oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense. Oh, well, great to see you again. I'm in here. Yeah!

I'm just gonna use the speakers real quick. Oh, go right ahead. I'll keep flying the plane towards that mysterious island. Thank you so much. It's so great to see you again. Samuel? Yeah, sure. Okay, Sam. Good to see you again. All right, listen up everybody on this jet blue flight to hell. This is Jenslin Del, member of the triplets, father to Frosana too, Olaf. I just wanted to say that I've come a long way on my journey and it's because of all of you. When we started, I was just a selfish guy who only looked out for myself. And now, I'm a selfish guy who has a very clicky group of friends, and we only care about each other.

And honestly, that's growth. And as usual, everyone else is sucking ass, and we need to step up and do everything, because we rule, a retrieval, 22 should be retrieval team one because honestly, why was there ever another team? We're so much better than anyone that's come before us and anyone that will come after us. And honestly, when we retire from adventuring, I think the whole world is just screwed

because apparently we're the only thing, we're the only people that can get things done around here. I mean, Z thought she killed Mercurio and then what happened? Just came back. So I guess we have to do it, right? Yes, drag Z. That's right. And let me tell you a little something about keychain, okay? That's right. Run it off. Run it off during that dance. Don't hurt him brother. Don't hurt him brother during that dance sequence with the prince. I think he wasn't trying to help with the fight with I think he changed just wanted to get out of having to dance because

Responsibility and then blabbing something about pros on X where has blabbing even been right? We didn't even have a phone call with the blabbing and on X's mom I thought she was like part of this whole like like rebellion thing, but it's just us now That's right. Oh, then the people on the moon like a day later. Like hey, is there something up with our moon? Anyway, absolutely don't don't know incredible Anyway Gent rules, golden city rules, uh, uh, Alex rules, Niaq rules, uh, and that's it.

And that's it. That's it. Be nice to my daughter. Uh, and then I dropped the microphone, uh, and I walk out of the, the pilot's cabin without fixing the door. And I get back in my seat and instantly hit the flight attendant thing to get us back. Ha ha ha ha. I'm inspired.

Wow. Amazing, incredible speech. You see the flight attendant walks out with the tray of tarot chips and popcorners and whatnot and bins over to offer you one and says can I get you something? Oh my god, and she looks out the window and you see coming towards you this huge swarm of silver winged knights. They're wearing silver Centurion armor and these big metal wings and they are headed right towards the airplane.

Oh dear, oh my goodness, um, slupert, we gotta go, we gotta go, you see the flight attendant and slupert grab parachutes and jump out of the airplane and it starts I'm gonna be submitting a complaint This is what I was saying during the inspiring speech it always comes down to us I guess what will fly the goddamn plane We do the island in the sky Stanley get back here. I yell at the window You are very close to the island now. You see Obsidian is like,

Would you like to hop on my back? We can go the rest of the way on my back. Let's do that. Wonderful. Okay, you can bring us back to the airport. We can get on another plane. There will be time for Chilly's to go later. I promise you, Naya.

You see Obsidian with his horn, blazer's a hole into the side of the airplane, and kicks it out with his hoof. You all hop on Obsidian's back and start galloping towards the floating city. And you see, as you head towards the floating city, you see these squads of silver soldiers flying towards you, and you all brace for the clash to come.

But right before you can collide, you see a huge beam of energy light up the sky, instantly evaporating an entire battalion of guards. You look back and you see a giant golden mega keychain blasting towards you. Don't worry, we've got this covered. Let's all meet up later at the apartment for victory toilet whiskey. Ultra mega keychain team, go! I didn't talk shit about you. Thank you so much Genders just sweating I will delete that from my Instagram. Okay my brother. Oh my god. You posted that Yeah, I did it's actually doing really well though. Do you want me to do it?

See that key change just flew up into the sky. Yeah people are saying drag key chain drag key chain Drag key. Oh my god So I mean, I guess like, do you go for the cloud or do you go for the honest friendship with the person who's going to save you? Oh, can we bridge the gap somehow to like a real fake apology? Okay, yeah, yeah.

Okay, put the camera on me. I'll leave it up for now. Yeah. Luckily Keach and was too busy getting transformed into a giant robot to notice the post. So you're fine for now. Okay, well apologize later. He flashes you a big thumbs up. In his massive eyes, you can see Keith, Z, Norwalk, Blavin, and Graffite all strapped into pilot seats.

Oh no. Oh. Okay. Now this is fine. Just kind of they didn't tell us. Hey, Thomas, can we take the video to no one out there was talking shit about my wife You could not have seen that you know texting and flying okay, Jans at this point I need to delete the speech okay. It's getting you a lot of followers. I understand but I need to delete it

Okay, yes, go ahead and let and let's start up a new video. Okay. You see Z reaches for a phone. Oh, a notification. I wonder what that could be. Just want to say, what's up, Trickster and Live. This is Jenssel and Dale. I was hacked.

Someone was using a power cache has taken to the sky. Powerward hack. Powerward hack. They use powerward hack on didn't even get yeah So I was hacked they did a an image of me to saying things that I would never in a million years say about my best friends Z Norwalk Blavin and the robots. I would never say anything. It'd be my mom too, my mom too. Yes, Onyx's mom.

I know her name, Greta. It's also a jet in carbon. And jet and carbon. I would never say anything bad about any of those people. They are my dear, dear friends. So, you know, I would apologize, but I didn't do anything wrong. So, I was hacked.

I'll catch everybody on the flip side. We're gonna save the world. You can't be mad at me. Jins, Nyak, Onyx, Frozonex 2, Ola, we love you all and we trust you. Good luck on your mission. We will keep these guards distracted. Okay, thank you so much. That's a huge out of honestly. Here is his huge. And again, huge. I'm huge. You're huge. I was hacked. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds unrelated. And someone put Keach in on airplane mode so we can look at

Trinstagram for a bit. You put the live thing up, right? The live video? Yeah, I did put your app on. Okay, good. Yeah. Yeah, you see Keith is like, okay, no, we need to focus. Nobody check your phone for at least the next hour. Okay. I get to post a bunch of weird links to my

Tristagram account to make it really sell that I was hacked. Okay. Can I give him the help action? Sure. I do have very good deception. see this my guy might think I got I got way I got a 30 deception oh my god we are not a balanced party because we are all deception and persuasion you shouldn't be able to get away with that, but you did. Yeah, you see everyone in the cockpit just nods, gives you thumbs up, and then they blast away, leading all of the silver wing guards on a wild goose chase through the air, freeing

your path towards the city. Okay, bringing us to cash. Very well. You see Obsidian swoops low into the city and as you land, why don't you all give me a perception check. Okay, now here's the thing we're not great at. 21. Oh 21. Like that. 17 from Onyx, 13 from Olaf. 17 from Jack. Oh, just so everybody knows you all have 20 temp HP. Ooh, very cool. Fuck, yes.

So, Jens, with a 21, as you land in the city, you do a quick look around, and you spot three silver wing guards ready to ambush you. But you also spot a Teenaged cobalt with pierced wings and feathery black hair Perched on the top of a building She holds a finger up to her beak pulls out a knife then swoops down and

Stabs all three guards Still on for that fight in two years? In two years, too, Karoo. Yeah, I can't wait to kill you. Oh, I remembered your name. Hey, how about that? Huh, not that I've been bad to any of my friends recently. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Alright, looks like you guys got work ahead. I'll make sure that the path is clear. Thank you, Tukaru. I cannot wait to fight you. Me too, likewise. Alright, peace out, genitals. Okay, that's not my name. I like you. I'm gonna kick your ass, kid. I start freaking out. It's very clear that my name is Jensitals. By how hard I freak out. Jinsettles. So you leave Tukuru to handle any remaining threats,

and you all make your way into the heart of the city. So as you enter the inner part of the city, you realize that the gleaming silver buildings and skyscrapers you saw from above aren't made of metal or concrete, but are actually composed of thousands upon thousands of emaciated bodies, all of which overlap and interlock to form every aspect of the city's architecture. As you walk along a road paved with these strange metallic corpses, the bodies all wriggle and convulse as if responding to your presence.

Eventually the wriggling increases and you realize that these lost souls are now propelling you forward, like a living conveyor belt. Eventually, the soul street brings you closer and closer into the city, and stops in front of a gorgeous crystal palace, with a tall tower jutting from its center. At first, it seems like this is the only building not made of these strange ghastly figures, but as you get closer you see that the central pillar ripples with the same distinctive undead energy. It almost feels like this pillar is the viral splinter from which all of this strange silvery infection has spread. So, you're standing in front of this palace now.

What do you want to do? So, first things first, mechanically, I'm going to give part of inspiration to both my partners here. Thank you. Awesome. And that's a D12. Wow. Yeah, it's a D here. Thank you. Awesome. And that's a D12, wow. Yeah, it's a D12. Thank you, brother.

When you say both partners, do you mean me and Onyx or Frosonix and Onyx? Oh, sorry, I need to also, I should also give it to my daughter Frosonix too. Ah! All right. I do give it to Frosonix too. She's making less sense, right?

Does anyone else have a skill? Prrrr. Well, she's fr frightened. She does look a little melty. She's frightened. She's surrounded by thousands of silver souls that are putting buildings together. So leave her alone, okay? Is there anything else you want to do before you I assume? Enter the palace. Yeah, me and Frosana accept chest tricksters escape on ourselves. So I think we are going to save our spells to try to do some fucked up damage. Beautiful.

I'm going to kneel down and say, I can make my own daughter. And I'm going to expend seven jam points and summon gelatinous familiar. Also, also in the form of Onyx, whereas here's I can make her with a black jelly. Oh shit, okay, just pretty close, but just keep a lid on it if you can. I also feel you, too, Paul. She holds up a gooey finger and goes, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, that's...

Can we just really quick see a conversation between frosanics and jelly-onics? Girls meet each other. Eeeh! and Jelionics. Girls meet each other. I mean, I feel as though I've lost my marbles. What have I done? It's crazy because Frosonics too Olaf is clearly so advanced and Jam-O-Nix is done. Jon-Nix. Jon-Nix. Jon-Nix in first time.

Jon-Nix the Hedgehog. Jon-Nix the Jam-Hog. Oh, so entering this palace, you see Jinslandel, Nyakka the Ranafore, Onyx Lumiere, Johnyx the Jamhawk, Prozonex 2 Olaf, and Golden Obsidian. What a posse. How about the Onyx duplicate stand in the back since they might be squishier than the rest of us? Yes, we must protect them at all costs. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Beautiful.

I look at both Niaq and Jens, and I say, if it's between me or them, choose them. OK. Oh, I don't know. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Niaq, now is not the time to stop blindly following me. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I to stop blindly following me. I need you here with me.

I'm not going to roll a general for me. Oh, a 10. A 10. Okay. You pass. Threshold is it too. All right. Cool.

You're already too enter the palace? Mm-hmm. Shall we? Let us. Awesome. Uh, you... proceed through this arch... made entirely of bodies...

and enter a grand cathedral... that rives and pulses like a living organism. On the walls, you see beams of light shining through thin, stained glass membranes that dot the surface of the tower rising infinitely above. Below on the floor is a large circular piece of enchanted glass through which you can see the world of Trinavale growing further and further away. And in the center of the room, seated in a throne unjulating with stolen life, is cash.

He appears as he did to you in the periphera, a being composed of liquid silver skin under which thousands of faces scream in pain. However, now, his body glames with iridescent energy, beautiful but wrong, like spilled gasoline gleaming in the sun. As you enter, he rises slowly from his throne, aided by hundreds of reaching hands. So, nice of y'all to pay me a visit on the day of my ascension. Oh, and you brought me a gift. How courteous!

His gaze turns to obsidian, and in the blink of an eye, he extends a silvery tendril towards the moonicorn. However, as soon as it makes contact, the tendril… shh. Shatters. Cash recoils in pain, growls with frustration, and then launches three more tendrils at each of you. You brace for impact, but instead feel the power of Nadas shield you, and the tendrils shatter once more.

Coin looks furious. Fine. If it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you'll get! A cruel glimmer leased from cash's eyes. On his skin, thick silver veins and segmented muscles emerge, and from his palm an ornate silver sword descends. He swings the blade and beckons you forward. The clock's ticking y'all.

Come get some. Everybody roll initiative. Let's go. Let's go, right? All right. Come on, Jen's roll good. Yes, 21. Okay, that's going to be a 24 for Frozonix and a 17 for Onyx. Okay. for Frosonix and a 17 for Onyx. Okay, that is a 22 for Nyak and for Johnix.

Johnix the Jam Hog, Frosonah to all of you. Everyone remember their full names. Of course. Frosonix to be rather cool. All right, so first off is going to be a layer action from the living palace. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. I imagine you all are all standing in the living palace. Oh no. Oh yeah. Oh no.

I imagine you all are all standing in the front entrance at this point. Yeah, probably. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Cash is going to use Soul Suck. You see all of these hands rise up from the floor and are going to attempt to grapple you. I need everyone to make a DC 21 strength save.

Oh no. I literally can't pass. Okay, if we don't pass, we do have freedom of movement, so we can spend five feet of movement to automatically escape a creature that has a graphic. Oh nice, all of us do. Just me and Olaf. Okay, Grace. As long as my daughter is free, leave me.

Okay, we both fail, but we'll be able to escape with five feet of movement. Okay, cool. I got a two. I'm gonna use a jam point and see if I can reroll this. I only cost one. You have a bardic inspiration from my move. Right, yes.

Maybe don't waste it though, if you don't have a lot of strength. Cause yeah, this is only a jam point. I do have kind of a lot of stuff. I have minus one to strength. I rolled the three got it to That'll do it. That's oh wait. What do we have to be a 21 21? Never mind. Ah So um Everyone is restrained on X and Olof are gonna be able to get out next turn you said or at the beginning Yeah, we just need to spend five feet of movement to automatically escape

Gratling oh shit. I didn't roll for a golden obsidian shit at the beginning of the trip. Yeah, we just need to spend five feet of movement to automatically escape, crying. Cool. Oh shit, I didn't roll for a golden obsidian, shit. All right. I have abbreviated golden obsidian as goob. Heh. Okay, let me roll to see if golden obsidian gets restrained. Obsidian is also restrained.

Ah, what is this witchery? Awesome, so you can repeat the saving throw at the beginning of your turn actually. Cool. Cool. I'm sorry, I don't have freedom of movement for other people, it's an eldritching vocation. I can get us out if we don't save. Right. Okay.

That is going to be Olaf's turn. Olaf will bonus action. Hex, this creature. Use the 5 feet of movement to escape the grapple, run towards it and attack. Bring it on, come on! Go, Frosonix too, Olaf! Oh, y'all brought a lot of friends! First swing is a 19. That hits. Okay, I will also do a Eldritch smite. Okay. So. Wow. Okay, I will also do a eldritch smite. Okay, so wow

Frosanix will do 51 51 wow, okay, I'm going to try to attack again I think it's going to miss does a 17 hit 17 misses Partic though. Oh, that's true. Yeah, let's go for it right. Let's soften them up do it Okay, does a 24 hit 24 will hit okay Wow, there's so many onixes and why do they look so weird? Why did you bring an elemental array of onixes? They do not look weird. Well one of them does not look weird. Hey, neither of them look weird.

They're both beautiful. So that's another 25 damage. So 25 damage and 51 damage. And she still has a reaction if she needs it. Wow. Yeah, you see, Frosonix to Olaf slides up like she's on ice because she is. And slashes in to cash with her icy blade. slides up like she's on ice because she is and

slashes in to cash with her icy blade and some of the like soul energy just kind of flies off him but He doesn't look too troubled by it. Don't worry. It was only one spell slack. Oh softening me up. I like it You're not gonna like what's inside though. Oh That's foreshadowing. They do it in friends all the time. That is going to be Niaq and Johnx, the jam hog. All right, I'll go before my daughter. That is a nat 20. Whoa!

Oh, yeah! Love it. Okay, so is it too late to say that I casted Hunter's Mark? I didn't mean to do that as a bonus action. Oh no, that's totally fine. Okay, sweet. So, oh yeah, you don't even need to move. Your grapple's here, just at zero, but you're good.

Yeah. So if I can save and get out. Right, because I have a ranged weapon, right? Yeah. Oh yeah, I just basically gave you a chair. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. have a ranged weapon, right? Yeah. Oh yeah, I just basically gave you a chair. Ha ha ha ha. A chair made of the souls of others. It's, it's modern art, sure.

Ha ha ha. 19 damage on my first attack. Nice. Back him up. And a 24. I imagine that it's also. Yes. Ooh, yeah, baby.

18 damage on my second attack. Beautiful. Nice. And then my beautiful gelatinous daughter will be going. Wow, one episode in both of you became parents. This is beautiful. Yeah, usually this is a multi-season arc, but it happens to Ross like four different times. You are both Jennifer Aniston.

It's a wonderful thing. Ross has like six kids. And even though I privately talk shit about her, I do love my niece. My, my, my, uh, I privately talk shit about her. I publicly love her. Yeah. Jens it all's niece.

Just rolled it not one. Oh, no. Cool. Jens itals knees just rolled it not one Oh no! Oh! Oh! Oh! Cool, so she just sings a beautiful song, which sounds like Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Cash looks at you and says what are you doing? You're not supposed to just sit down on those souls like their chairs What are you doing stop that? How do you use the souls? I mean, I guess I also use them as chairs So you got a good point there, but you can't do that. That's my thing. You can sell these on Etsy These are working. They're interesting. Yeah, great and barrel could solve and oh you think I don't know that I Got thousands of different Etsy stores. Dude, oh, right, because capitalism is your thing.

Although Etsy is a little bit of renegade capitalism. I mean, someone's collecting. I feel like you can be games. I've gamed it. I jack up the price and I paint them different colors. Oh, Etsy. So people think they get new, unique bargains and buys. Etsy, so you're making like, you know, a lot of the rings memorabilia,

but selling it at a little price so you actually lose money. And then the people who are sincerely making it have to close their stores. Cash is just writing all this down. Yes, yes. Yes. A wheel and a shell.

That is going to be Jens' turn. So wait, I get to do save at the beginning of my turn. Yeah. Oh wait, I literally, okay, I'm gonna need to get myself out of this at some point. I got a 16. You know what, I might just well do this now. I'm going to go ahead and grab Niac

through the sea of hands. Great. And then I'm going to dimension door both of us away from the hands. Yo. And get us on the other side of cash. So we're all not lined up perfectly. Ooh, that's good.

Oh, shit. And then I will run to another side. So we have a nice triangle around. So cash stepped down from his throne. And y'all appear directly behind him. Yeah, I think we appear in the throne, and I just have my legs crossed sitting in the throne and go, there's new grifters in town, baby. And then all since I can't do anything else, I cast a spell and I can't make an attack

with my off hand, unless I attack with my main hand. I'll just use bonus action to bardic inspiration, frosana to Olaf. Beautiful. Thank you so much. And Niaq, I think that John X the Jam Hog, since they are a pudding, could probably squeeze out of the restraint without any problem.

Yeah, my daughter can condense down to one inch. Oh my goodness. So, she's very elastic. She's so small. Perfect fine. Do you get worried that you've lost her? I can always hear her. In my dreams and in my nightmares. Very cool. So that is going to be um, cash's turn. Cool. Actually, you know what? Before cash goes, you see golden obsidian turns to

Nyak Looks at you and says Even though you ate all that cereal like a big boy. I think you could use a little more help like a big boy, I think you could use a little more help. And he cast shimmering shield on you. And until the end of his next turn, you get plus two to AC. I'll be there for you. Two.

A single tear rolls a ton of city and space. A gold tear, that's beautiful. And that is gonna be cash's turn. So, Niaq and Jens, you two are nearest to him, I believe. Yeah, you're there in the throne. And then right in front of him is Frosanix. And then at the entrance is Onyx. But presumably, she is amongst some sort of tentacle of his. Yes, I restrained someone. Yeah, I think that he's going to cast a spell on both

gins and niacs. Okay, if he's doing that, then both frosonics and onics get because they are mage layer, and because onics is nearest tentacle, we will both take an opportunity attack. Okay. Onics, I don't think think your, I think the layer action grabbed you, not the, not a tentacle. So I think just for Ozonix. Yeah. Okay, so just for Ozonix. Okay, so for Ozonix will do, for Ozonix will hit.

Okay. For Ozonix did hit you for 28. Nice. Oh goodness. For Ozonix rules. Hahaha. You should have died at the end. Okay, actually, I don't think they can hit both of you with this spell. So I'm gonna roll a d4 to see who they hit.

Okay. 1 or 2 will be Jens, 3 or 4 will be Niac. 2, they're aiming for Jens, which is very lucky because it's a lightning bolt. Hmm, I'm going to counter spell. Brother! Oh yeah! Yeah, baby! Ugh!

And did you hear that from Ozonic sent you for 28 using her mage spell, a reaction? Cool turn! Oh, well, ain't that rich! Get you yucks out now, gang! Oh, well ain't that rich. Get your yucks out now, gang. I like to think that I deflect the lightning bolt with the counter spell, passing a ball of lightning to Frosonix to Olaf like an alley, so that you slam donks into cash. Yeah, is he cash's metal silver body goes oh it's looney tunes as hell

Onyx that is your turn. Okay Onyx is going to add the same exact turn that all-off did Onyx is going to a hex plate curse for bonus action and shut out to the two crew but I believe with my bardic inspiration. Okay, does a 26 hit, I roll the 10 of my bardic inspiration. Oh, 26, absolutely hits. Okay, going to do another Eldridge smite. You are going to need to roll a social sorcerer roll after this one. Okay. Okay, 48.

Wow. And then I will... You want me to do a social sorcery? Yes. Oh, that's gonna be a 23. 23. That is a good post. Whoa. We haven't done this one yet. Healing praise. Fans appear and heal a creature of your choice for 2d8. Is anyone been hit? I don't think anyone's been hit yet. No one's been hit. Okay, so that kind of works out for you. Yeah. Not neutral.

And then Onyx will take our second attack. That's definitely going to hit. That's a 29 for 27 damage. Woo! Woo! And she still has... She's such a strong. She still has her reaction.

But hold on to it. That is everything. She's just like Frosonix 2 over. Honestly, Frosonix did more damage. So Frosonix? Onix is trying to keep up with Frosonix. And Jonix, I feel like we're all three equally strong Onyx and Frosonix and Johnix.

I will, okay, and Johnix too. Right, Johnix is still here. I will also use my movement to get within five feet, but sort of to make a triangle with Frosonix and Jens and Nyak and then Onyx. Awesome, you see that cash is flustered, not really hurt yet. You see that everything you've knocked off him has just been excess armor, but he definitely looks upset at the wamping that is unfolding.

So he is going to use all three of his legendary actions to cast a spell on you Onyx. He is going to cast In- Okay, I have a reaction. Let me see, do I want to use this reaction to attack with Mage Slayer? Do I want to counter spell? I will just attack and take the spell, I think. All right, cool. I crit, I actually fucking crit!

Finally, with my defense plate! It's a 19, but I fucking crit! Yeah! Oh my god You'll love to see it in the finale don't you? Lord you goddamn triplets, okay, it's not like that impressive I did really roll well, so that is a 41. That's pretty good. You're really undersold it the time Y'all are real phone in my side.

I can't believe I'm fucking, yes, finally. I don't know if I have. What a great crit. But I've been wanting to crit on Hexblade Curse for so long. It's awesome. It's incredible. So much damage.

I'm really proud of you. Congratulations. This is Shades of the Y'all are fighting. Honestly, I'll tell you though, if I had crit when I could use one of my Eldritch smites then I would have been doubled. So, you know, you were spared Thank you All right back to my spell Cash is gonna cast inflict wounds on you. Okay, you see

on you. Okay. You see, Cash's entire being flashes this kind of fiery red for a second and flames kind of flick off of his sword and he just slashes the air and you feel this slash appearing on you as well. It's going to be a melee spell attack. Okay. My current AC is 19 because of my new invocation to give me good armor Shout out to the two crew Oh dear y'all are a tricky bunch of mercy Honestly, this is like better than I usually roll sorry You need to let those gods go because we're kind of friends with the Mian Leont or pretty tight. And that's gonna get me a lot of clout. Are you sure I saw a couple of social media posts

about you disparaging all the gods and all of your best friends as well? That you did that, you did that, of course. I take out the phone to try to capture this moment. I should have known. Yeah, I keep opening up to camera as I'm talking to Cash. You've done this. You-

Tell them, Jen. Tell them who hacked you. Yes. You have hacked me. You've gone on my Trinstagram and you're trying to destroy Trinnyville and I will avenge both. What better way to just destroy Trinnyville than to hack Jen's Lindell Comedy? That's actually not me. That's a gentle, beneficial. A Titan of the Realm.

Follow him to support him. Yes, Jenslindel comedy. Jenslindel comedy. Jenslindel official. He's human on IAC. No, the Spoon Goon commands it. That's going to be Golden Obsidian's turn. On Obsidian's turn, I guess first of all I'll see if you can escape from the bindings

he's in. Oh, does not quite escape it unfortunately. So he is still there but that is fine because this is a long range ability that he's about to do. You see his horn begins spinning like a drill. It glows brighter and brighter until eventually it fires this golden beam of energy directly at cash. And upon impact, you see this massive explosion of ghastly figures erupt out of the false gods back. The beam keeps chiseling away at cash until it seems to latch onto something. And as it does, a wispy golden image of

Nadas is extracted from the god and sucked into obsidian's horn. We shall take back what is ours. You have stolen these gods, and you have poison trinavale with your false ambitions. And you must perish! Obsidian's really powerful, huh? Yeah, golden obsidian. Good.

Are you obsidian? This is that, you know, he just needed to go through heat. And this is what you come out. Good. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right.

You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right.

You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right. You are absolutely's funny. That's true. There is a horniness to creativity in general. Could I be any more horny? Wow Another Chandler. What is this beautiful? Okay easy easy My ex a easy the friends can only have one Chandler

Well, you can be the Joey clearly. I think you are a Joey. I almost aim my bow and arrow it Whoa Then I train it like that Thank you, Arajoy. I almost aim my bow and arrow at Ken's anonix. Whoa. Then I train it like that. So it's the smoke clears from Obsidian's attack. You see that cash has taken 73 points of damage. Oh my God, that's a good horse. And you also see a little bit of the iridescent color that was swirling around cash drains away

as Nadas is returned to the horn of obsidian. So when we are taking swings at cash, should we be aiming towards the chunks coming into your mouth obsidian? What? I've here trying to reabsorb Nadas. Yes, that I am trying to reclaim the gods. That is my plan. Yeah, okay. I'll sort of chisel them out for you. That would be great. If you could chisel them like you chiseled for Ozanix to a loft that would be fantastic.

I don't know if I can ever make anything that beautiful again. I just need 12 hours. For Ozanix, Curtsy. When someone says you are beautiful Curtsy. What? Johnix you Curtsy now. Everyone stop telling their jam and ice Donuts to Curtsy. Like this. Just like this. I Curtsy. Johnix Curtsy's but then falls over and just forms into a puddle. Okay, okay. That's what you do. That's right.

We don't talk about it, but in my background, I did do Cotillion. Okay, that is going to bring us back around to a layer action. Woo! So you see on this layer action, coin walks down over to a patch of these kind of waving corpses and just grabs a couple of them and absorbs them into his body and you see a bit of his armor comes back

and he regains a little health. Okay. Wow, that's kind of an interesting window and down your feeling. Yeah, you just traded a god for some gooey dudes that were on a wall Congrats. I got infinite goo the gods are limited so I would ask you not to take anymore. We have golden goo Cool that is going to be a love Stern Okay, a love will Go after Lofs turn. Okay. A Lof will go after Olaf is going to hit. Didn't even need to use their broadock inspiration.

Olaf will do another Eldridge blast. Nice. I mean, an Eldridge smite pardon me. Let me roll that. Is that a spell technically? 28. It uses a spell slot but it doesn't use a bonus action. It's like a divine smite.

Yeah. OK, so a good encounter spell is what I'm asking. I don't think you could. I can read. I can read. It says pre-weck is a fifth level. Once per turn, you hit a creature with your packed weapon. You can expend a Warlock spell slot to deal an extra one

d8 for a damage to the target, plus another one d8 per level of the spell slot. Oh, and you cannot the target prone. level of the spell slot. Oh, and you can knock the target prone. I fucking forgot about that. Oh, shit. If it's huge or smaller, if he's like gigantic or something. He's not huge. He's just large.

He's just large. Okay, so he'll be knocked prone, which will then give her advantage on her next attack. But let me count up the damage from this one. Gracious. So 28 plus, 24, so 52 damage, and he's knocked prone. Oh my God. And oh, she keeps so close to Critting, but she did it, she got it 18, she got a 17 and an 18.

And then she'll do another 26 damage. Okay, cool. All of the armor that cash just absorbed gets flung off. Y'all are putting on Kua Da Shoe. Honestly, it's the ice sculpture of gems. That is really making it. Triple it's on ice. Awesome. Is that your turn?

Yes. She still has a reaction, but that is her. I think that as a legendary action, Cash is going to take an attack against Frosonix to Olaf. No! Okay. That's my niece, you son of a bitch. Anyone need ice? Anyone need their drink, Friscient?

No. Is it going to be a melee attack or spell? A melee. Okay. No, is it going to be a melee attack or spell? melee Okay, I am going to an tropic ward use her reaction to give you disadvantage on your attack Okay, actually you're already prone, right? So wouldn't you already have disadvantage? So I don't even need it Can I attack from prone Yeah, you definitely can attack from the creature has disadvantage on it Okay, so yes, she won't use her reaction Okay, man when you have to Google that I feel like red it should just be like I see you're getting walked

But can I attack from prone t-shirt? Okay All right, so I rolled a 12 and a 7. That is going to be 19, does that hit? That does still hit, yeah. All right, she has, she has shield, right? I was gonna go easy, but yeah, okay, I can shield them in no longer. It's fucking pile of ice. I can't believe it.

I can't believe, I can't believe, I can't believe I've been getin' wobbed by an ice sculpture. This is once the ice from the vending machine at the holiday in that we made it a past. All right, so that misses. Cool, cool, cool, cool. And now both of both Jens and Naya, you will have a vintage on a dex. Okay.

So we got this brown. Uh, Naya, that is going to be you and John X's turns. Cool. All right, I will attack with advantage thanks to the Frosonix. That is a 24 to hit at its, and I'll fire two arrows at once because you son of a bitch, you hacked my brother.

That's right, that wasn't me. I fully believes it. And that's another 25 to hit. So let me see. That is 33 damage from Niac. Woo, woo. And you know what, I think everybody's daughters and nieces are showing up equally for this fight.

And Johnnex, I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. Okay, you to know that I'm so proud of you. Okay, now you go. I'm so proud of you. Bad as hell. Okay, that's an 11 to hit. That misses. Yeah.

Wait, did you all with advantage? Oh, God, that gets a prop. I did it. Come on, my daughter. Ooh, does the 17 hit all right still misses Get this goo away from me it's typing all over my fancy all right. That's my niece. She can drip wherever she wants To equally powerful nieces You monster you see the black putting blushes

All right darling good stuff All right, uh cash is gonna take another legendary action and trying to attack Nyak. I Kill your father right in front of you Which which ones are you talking to you talking oh? I'm talking he's talking to you talking to my daughter. There's like a really complicated family tree. I can't be bothered to explain Okay, I just couldn't tell if you were talking to my daughter my knee Yeah, the only one who the father of his John X the jam hog. God damn it. I'm rolling with disadvantage still I think so that's a not one

Oh my armor it's staying in the armor. This is Nyax style cash sucks All right, um it's okay after Jen's turn you will be able to stand up that is true. Jen's it is your turn great, I'm going to jump down bravely and attack this prone monster. Do so with the advantage. I will. That is a 22 to hit. That hits. Great, and I will do a defensive flourish. I have an ability now that I don't need to use a bardic inspiration. I can just do a D6 to it. I'd instead of doing a D12, my normal bardic inspiration, I do 11 damage.

Hmm. Okay. And I'm doing a defensive flourish. So I'll add the two that I rolled to my AC. My AC goes up. I will take my second attack. That's a 23 to hit. That is 10 damage. And then I will take my off hand attack. Come on, please, crit. That's a 28 to hit, that hits. Wow, and that's 12 damage. Okay, how much damage was that total?

33 damage. Nice. Not quite as good as Frosonix too. Well, you know, Frosonix and Onix are using all their abilities immediately, so. We peter out once we get rid of our Warlock spells lots. And that's where Johnix will step in. Yeah. Cash is gonna hold off on casting a legendary action until he can stand up.

This is rolling around. Get off me. You see he does stand up, finally. I guess Jin's your right next to him, so he's gonna attack you. You see he strides towards you with his sword gleaming and says, do you know the real reason Nadas bestowed their essence on others? Because they couldn't stand the thought of someone else ruling in their place. Their selfish controlling and petty, just like the other gods, and this planet deserves better. I don't know what your reaction abilities are.

I can counter spell. Oh, I see. But the, eh, shield will last the whole round. I'm going to cast shield. So now I have 26 AC, 26. Okay, so you bested that attack? Let me see if he has one second attack. Yeah, I say,

Parenthood will really change you. You're all very selfish. And if you would only have a child made of ice, I think you'd see the world a little differently. I want the entire world to be my child, my baby children. I share your goal in your dreams. You disgust me. The thing is, baby children is kind of cute.

So we're probably going to kill you, but still call ourselves baby children. That's right. Yeah. We'll still do your evil plan. Ah! We're just gonna take kill you, but still call ourselves BB children. That's right. Yeah. We'll still do your evil plan. We're just going to take the credit for it. No, it's my evil plan. You can't do it.

Nope, sorry. We already stopped trans-dragaming live. Everyone will think it's our evil plan. We're the villains. How dare you steal my IP. That's right. We're going to take your IP. We're going to keep all the gods in our horse.

That's right. You improvise for us and we keep the IP. Yeah, that is another goddamn that one. Yes, oh dear. Just shit rolls. Speaking of IP, who came up with the name Cash, not you, you called yourself from? Yeah, I stole it from you. Yes, and I'm making it look good

On it on it's that's your turn. Okay, I'm going to attack a 30 is going to hit a little bit. Yeah, I will do this is on X she also has an eldritch might so 29 plus 23 52 Now you are prone again Yep, okay, that's the rules Keep pushing it back over. I respect the rules. Okay, good thing I rolled with advantage because one of them was a Not one, but I got a 29 to hit Y Yish. And another 30 damage.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. And I will hang on to my reaction. But Onyx only has one spell slot left, and Frosonix has none. Whoa. Go ahead and roll another social sorcerer roll. Yes.

20, 30, 20. 30, 20? Another good post. Oh, yes. 20, dirty 20. Dirty 20? Another good post, let's see what happens. All right. We've become very family focused. Yeah, maybe we do like a family portrait. Yeah, we're like those weird like YouTube families. That do daily blogs.

We do like a Christmas like rap. Yeah. Oh my god. Take it away, John. Yeah, we all go in the fountain for friends. Check out the triplets.tv for more. So this is fun. Normally that would be a fan swarm and the target would have disadvantage, but... Cash already has disadvantage. So I win, I guess. You can't knock a man down when he's already down. Well, I guess I'm gonna try and slash at your ankles

from prone as my last legendary action. Okay. It's a nat 20 and a shout out to the two crew. Wow. That hurts. Oh my god. That hurts. These rolls, y'all.

These are Beverly rolls. I'm haunted. I'm haunted by the boy. Even with a two that's still gonna be a 14 but that misses that misses because I have armor now But also I I was 17 before now. I'm 19 cool Awesome, so now Nyak your shimmering shield goes away and you see I don't know if I ever really needed it Nice solid bird needed it. Nice solid bird. You're still the man though. You see that obsidian is like, you're right. Let me try something a little more your style. And he casts blessed strike on you

as his legendary action. And now you get plus two to attack and damage. Now you get plus two to attack and damage. Woo! That's great. That's really nice. Thanks. Thank you. Plus two to attack and you're attacking with advantage. All right, you know what?

Golden Obsidian's clearly the best one here. Let's just start calling him Chandler, right? Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, that is going to be Golden Chandler's turn. I, well, actually, okay, I'll be Silver Chandler, but Silver's actually pretty good in this world. Let me see if he can break out of the hands

that are holding him still. Oh no. Okay, he breaks out, that's a 21, exactly. Awesome, so he breaks out, but it doesn't matter because Golden Obsidian can do his move from anywhere. His horn starts to spin again and he blasts another retrieval beam at Cash. Ooh.

Okay. And that is going to be another. You'll love to see a retrieval beam. Ha, ha, ha, ha, 65 damage. Ooh, oh my God. Hmm, how is he looking now? Probably pretty bad. You see that cash.

He's still standing. He's still holding his own, but like, he's missing most of his armor. He's back down to his kind of like normal form. You can see that he is wearing like a nice tuxedo, and it's just ripped to shreds. He's silver tuxedo with ripped to shreds. Wow, you really need to get a rich partner. I was trying to make the entire world my rich partner

and y'all are standing in my way and I am quite offended by it. See, you just have no loyalty at all. Not like us. Yeah, we have very limited loyalty. Let me see which God comes out during Golden Obsidian Stern. Not like us. Yeah, we have very limited loyalty. Let me see which god comes out during Golden Obsidian's turn. Ooh, Nalar is freed.

You see, ah! Spinning around in this beam, a Nalar gets sucked into Obsidian's horn. Yes, two out of three. Jens is just instantly becoming maniacal. Yes, put them all in our horse. Oh, the gods, the power of all of them. No, Jen, we are supposed to be good.

We are supposed to disperse this power. You want it? Okay, right, yeah. Cool, right, yeah. And we will. And we will. And we will. You are a consort of a king.

What work would you want? That is going to be another layer action from Cash. They're going to use Soul Slick. So what happens? I need everyone to make a DC21 deck save. Oh, that's not going to happen. Everyone still has Bardic, I believe. Onyx doesn't have it, but Frozonic's does.

I haven't used it. I'm going to use it now. I got 21. I got 25 with my Bardic, I believe. Onyx doesn't have it, but Frosonix does. I haven't used it, I'm gonna use it now. I got 21. I got 25 with my Bardic. Whoa! Oh, I rolled a one and a two. Even with Bard, I'm not gonna use Bardic. No! For Frosonix?

A one and a two for both Onyx and Frosonix. Oh no. So both of them fail, because I don't think that, because it's, you know, only S plus four to Dexterity. So there's no way. Let's see, there's no way, even with a 12. Yeah. What did John X roll?

Oh, I thought John X just rolled whatever I rolled. Oh, I mean, if it's a Dexter, they have a minus three to Dexterity. They have a little early deck. Yeah, that's a ten. You see the floor, which is made of this writhing kind of corpse material, instantly turns slick and bends inward, shooting you all towards the glass surface in the center. And as you slide

towards the glass surface, it vanishes and you begin falling to the earth. So Frosonics and Onics and Johnics, the Gemh hog have all just fallen through the floor. They just fell through the floor and are now plummeting towards Trinaville, which is 30,000 feet below them. Okay. FROZONNX! Onyx! And one more?

And, and one more? And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and, and, and, and, and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and and, and and, and and, and and and, and and and, and and and and, and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and Next we'll not correct this, but on next we'll. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give

you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud-knit fabric that looks just like khaki but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs.

To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. You see Cash looks at this and goes, ha ha ha ha! and enjoy the show. has no spells, so um... Do we see, is there like a moon door type situation where we're seeing them fall? Or has the... yeah, basically what happened was the living floor tilted up, basically into the shape of a bowl, so anybody that was on it that didn't pass the

dictionary check, slid towards the center. Got it. And the enchanted glass in the center vanished at the last minute. Got it. This is okay. I can fix this as Onyx, but Frosonix will plummet. Frosonix will use her turn to plummet. Oh my God. Cool. I look this up.

It will take 60 turns for Frosonix to fall to the earth. Oh my God. How many feet does she fall on her turn? I think it's, oh shit, I look this up to. Oh, 500 feet, according to Xanathars. Jesus. But let me do a perception check to see if Megakichean notices. Yeah.

She could also, I mean, like on her turn, could she try to grab onto something or... I think it's like she's falling out of a Jetson city. Yeah. Okay. Sounds like exactly that. Uh, he got a 13, so yeah, I'll say that Keechain notices this happening while fighting off all of these hordes of soldiers, and he will try to get over to them. But I think I shot to him. Vokison, what you are doing, I'm also

falling, and I will join them, and we will rise again. Okay, there is quite a lot of these guards, so it would be better if I could continue to punch them. So I will let you handle Frosonix too. I will handle it. Fantastic. And Johnix, remember? Johnix has the ability spider climb, so I will allow them on their turn to try and actually go ahead and roll

Just a pure luck check and we'll see if John X was able to cling to the side That's an 11 okay. Yeah, that's above 10 all out of it. John X stays in there. That's my fucking daughter That is for osanix's turn That brings us to naak and John X I'm gonna say Johnix used their turn to cling. Niaq, what do you do? Okay, so my daughter is clinging to the floor. She can't make an attack though. Basically, she's clinging to the side

of this tunnel underneath where the glass was, if that makes sense. Yes. All right, so I'm gonna use my new plus two things and just attack with my arrow, but I'll also mention to Obsidian, like I eat things now, that's kind of my thing. So if you want me to eat the third god,

I could probably do that. That's everybody's thing, Nyek. Everyone has. Well, I had two bowls of cereal. How many bowls of cereal did you have? I'm the spoon-coop. How many did I have today? One, and then I had a sandwich for lunch,

and then I had like a salad for dinner I had oh my god. I'm just gonna be sick That is a 22 to hit with my first arrow that hits and oh you know what I'm gonna use my monical Hey look at that for advantage on there It's still a 22 I rolled two four two okay All right two 22s to hit. All right, give me that damage. That is 35 damage.

Nice. Ooh, cash is looking a little hurt. You start to see kind of like whips of silver smoke pouring out of his body in the way that blood would pour out of a normal human. Gross, buy. I'm gonna use my bonus action to vanish. Whoa, that was Chandler style.

Woo! When he go, I'm hiding underneath my daughter. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Okay, remind me, is cash still prone? I think he is, isn't he? I think he is until his turn. Yeah, cool. Is anyone within range of cash? I attacked him. Oh, yeah. All right. Thank you, gents for your honesty. Cash is gonna take two swipes at your feet

That's your beautiful boots With his legendary action Does a 19 hit? No, I saw the shield. Oh, you got the shield up perfect. Yep. Cool. That's his legendary action. Um, does A19 hit? No. Ah! I still have the shield. Oh, you got the shield up. Perfect. Yep. Cool. Uh, that's his legendary action.

He misses. That is going to be... Jens' turn. Oh, boy. I look down at the whole... That's my daughter is plummeting down. And also, my actual real work friend,

Onyx. Um, and I yell down, On Onix, do you have this covered? Are you okay? Yeah, it's going to gas fly on both of us. Great move, classic move. Yeah, so that was my plan, yeah. Should've let you just do that instead of asking. Were you gonna do what?

Nothing, shut up. I could stab a cat. You hacked my brother, didn't you? You hacked me. And now't you do it now? He hacked me. And now it will hack you to pieces. So I have a wall fan, baby, it's the only way. Oh my God, did we get that? That was admitting that he hacked it.

Wait, don't record that. I missed on the first one, even with advantage. I got a 17, I think. That misses. I was fumbling for my phone to record him saying that he hacked me. I'm gonna take another attack. That's a 26 to hit. I will use a defensive flourish.

That is 12 damage. Okay. And then my AC, my AC's back down, but it goes back up to 21 with a defensive flourish. And then I'll use my offhand attack and I'm just really hoping I crit please Why not I have a shenanigan. I want to do please Damn it's okay 29 to hit

That hits okay sweets. I am going to I was hoping I would crit with all this advantage You know law of averages and all that, but I didn't do it. So I'm going to do a mere perfect stab into cash. Jen's really beat himself up on the inside though, for it not being completely perfect. And then it's gonna use the Rebecca N. Void for his favorite work, our Quaintants, Rebecca. And he's going to do a

expend a fourth-level spell slot to do 5-D-8. Oh my god. In your mind you hear Rebecca say seems fun. Yeah Rebecca listen I'm kind of busy right now. That's like almost her bardic inspiration. Alright so, so my normal damage is 12, right? And then my flourish, 30 damage total, and then I'm gonna use the infinite cheeks of destiny. And I do my finest sword dance, and I go mind freak. And I cut on the very sexy cool slashes through my extremely tight black leather pants,

raw style and then I'm going to use the infinite cheeks of Destiny I get to roll a performance check. That's so fucking crazy you don't think that genders are raw. No I'm not a maratael, I'm a Rachel! He's definitely a Rachel, I know this much. Well, what is a Ross, but someone who thinks they are an Rachel?

Uh, and then for performance, I got a 21, which means I automatically cast Auto's Irresistible Dance on Beautiful Cash, who I guess is doing the worm That's my thing As he does the worm you see that these Skeletal forms in the floor kiss him every time he goes down. Oh stop that stop it. Stop doing that. Oh, how dare you Central I wish my floor kissed me I'm doing that! How dare you! Scentual.

I wish my floor kissed me. Cool. So we've gone from prone to still prone but wiggling. Yes, fantastic. Wow, Niaq, this is crazy. Today we found another Chandler. I got a new best friend, my daughter, and then there's somebody here who could do the worm.

Yes, it really is the end days, isn't it, brother? Ha ha ha. Ah! That's an onyx haha cool I am gonna say that cash is going to as a legendary action wiggle towards you and just really try to get at anything below the knee

jins you have become his tormentor, and he will see you dead. Are you taking an attacker spell? An attack. OK, with disadvantage, I guess. We have advantage. Yes. We have found a way to weasel our advantage disadvantage. What have loved to have used that third net 20-A rolled?

Oh my god. That is going to be net 20-Avrolled. Oh my god. Oh my god. But that is going to be a 23-to-hit. Ooh, do I want to use my shield? Yeah. Okay, you shield? Yeah, I shield. Your boots are glistening with an arcane light and his sword finds no purchase.

See, they are cool. They are cool. I absolutely freak out. They're back in style. They're back are cool. They are cool. I absolutely freak out. They're back in style. They're back in style. That's not what I heard. Did those teens get to you? You gotta listen to the teens.

It's the only way. They're next. We're killing those kids after. Jesus. Anyway, that brings it back around to Cassius' turn. Since he can't attack without disadvantage, I think he's actually gonna try and cast Flame Strike on you, Jens. Okay, I'm gonna need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

Okay. 25. You pass, so you're only gonna take half damage. Still not gonna like this, I'm sure. Yep, this is gonna be 2d6 flames and 2d6 radiant. Okay Is this the first time I've hit you? Anyone? Yes, I think so. I think so. Okay, that's 12 damage. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Ah

You've almost taken away all the HP that I got from talking shit about my friends. Did I burn your boots? Did I burn your boots? No, they're still gorgeous. God damn it! Um, awesome, that is cashous turn. Onyx, that's you. Okay, so I think my only option is to meet up with Frosonix to all of. Okay.

And cast Fly on both of us. Is Johnnex still falling? No, Johnnex clung to the side. My daughters are hero. Okay, so we are now going to fly, but we are 500 feet below, so I believe it will be several turns before we rejoin. You're gonna fly? Yes, we are going to cast Fly.

Cash, Cash, counter spell. He's not within range, we're 500 feet away. Oh, God damn it. So if we're 500 feet, then Onyx will use our turn to try to like, I guess, do some kind of strength check to try to at least move. Oh, I guess all of our movement is falling. So yeah, okay, so we're just at 500 feet. So you're just stopped there. You've So yeah, okay, so we're just at 500 feet. So you're just stopped there, you've just started, yeah, so you're just starting levitating.

So we're just flying, I don't think I can use any more movement, right? No, I guess yeah, you spend your entire turn falling and then yeah, you cast fly and you just go, boom! I guess fly and then next turn, maybe we will start trying to carry each other up. Cool, that brings us to, actually,

that's gonna be one more legendary action from Cash. Still doing the worm. Okay. I think that Jins is the only one in range, unfortunately, so I'm going to keep whacking at you. Okay. It's a 19 and a two, shout out to the two crew. You love to see it.

Cross over. Wow. Murph, I don't love to see it. You cross over. Wow. Uh, Murr, if I don't love to see it, in fact. It's apporeant to me this side. It's so interesting, because we really love to see it. I'm glad that you love to see it. Uh, that is going to be, oh shit, that's going to be Goob's turn. That's going to be Golden Obsidian.

Uh, his drill starts powering up one more time and you see Cash while doing the worm on the ground goes, and then this beam just blasts right into him and he takes 62 damage. Great job, cool Chandler. Almost as cool as silver Chandler. By definition, better Chandler, but go on. You see Leont gets sucked into the horn and you see Obsidian's whole body begins to glow as if he's struggling to contain all this power and while that's happening you also see that cash's body begins to crack and shutter and then he explodes. Smoldering silver corpses land everywhere. And in the center of the crater where Cash once stood, you see a small squishy bug-like creature.

What? Kathy. How you've done it now? You've stripped away everything, but the pure heart of Nadas' essence. It skitters towards the throne, then addresses you. Let me tell you one final secret about the aspects. Tacked, craft, lore, and mirth, they were all parts of Nados' personality. Parts that Nados was proud of, happy to share, but coin, coin was greed and selfishness.

A bitter part of Nadosa's soul that they hated. As Kash speaks, blood starts pouring out of his eyes and his body begins to quiver. And so, they gave it to me, and it grew, and it fasted, and it became something... ...legal ruffs. Massive gears, pipes, and cords erupt from his body. And he grows larger and larger. Until eventually, hovering before you, is a giant, bleeding machine, covered in eyes and mouths. Gross.

The eyes turn to stare at you and the mouths lick their lips hungry. I and the whole in the doss' heart, the black pit they tried to hide away. I alone will control this world, and all who stand in my way shall be grow to dust in my palm. And as a layer action, you see from a vent on this machine Bones, muscle, and piping grow together in the shape of a hand It points a glowing fingertip at Nyak Then fires a beam of silver light Whoa! See here? Nyak, be more scared. What was that?

Whoa! I'm gonna need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Does it help at all that I vanished on my turn? It does not. Oh, okay. Oh, wait, no. It's a target that you can see. Oh, shit.

It does help that you've pitched. Okay, that's gonna be really nice because I did roll in that one. So let's crayford and I probably bad for Jen. Yes, unfortunately, Jen's and and John X are the only ones in sight. Naya comes out of invisibility. He jumps up. You see the hand waivers towards Johnx and then goes to Jens.

I'm going to need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Okay. That's a seven. That is going to fail. You take... 42 points of damage. Okay. And let's see.

You are frightened until the end of cash is next turn. And while frightened in this way, you are paralyzed. Great. You don't like the look of this gross machine. I look super scared. Okay. That is going to be Olaf's turn. Okay, so Olaf will use, will do a dash action for 120 feet. Can Olaf do a strength check to try to bring Onyx with her? Yes, sure. Olaf got a 16.

A 16. Um, so what are you trying to do? You're trying to, Olaf is trying to like take onyx in her arms and like fly up. Certain final fantasy, seven advent children style, where they're helping each other go up. Exactly. We have a lot of ground to cover. So we figure we try to help each other. I'll allow that. I'll absolutely allow that.

You need to appeal to his anime senses. Oh so cool. A reference to advent children. And they fly up 120 feet. Awesome. Okay. Cool. So you still got a lot of feet to go.

300 something to go. We are enjoying the site. Can Olaf do a perception check to take in the site? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, that's going, not very well. That's going to be a five. Olaf is just like, which translates to everything looks like ants.

Olaf hates ants. Devastating. Awesome. So, as Cash's legendary action, he is going to summon a massive tidal wave of bodies from the floor. And I need everyone that is currently in the arena to make a strength saving throw. I think I might automatically fail those. Yep, I fail automatically, because I'm paralyzed. Oh, because you are paralyzed. Oh yeah, that's an 18 for Niaq? Okay, that fails. Okay, my daughter, John X is going to go. Ha ha ha.

She rolled the 21. Nice. Ah! Let me see. Oh, congratulations, that also fails. Yes. All right, still cool. Still cool.

It was high. It was a high roll for her. That is going to be 39 damage to each of you. Okay. Okay. I don't love it. And that is going to be Niaq and Johnix's turn. Okay.

You already hacked my brother. And now you shot him with light or something. I turned to my brother and I said, are you hurt brother? Huh. Huh. He sounds fine. I turned to my brother and I said are you are you hurt brother? He sounds fine No, you're not I'm gonna cast cure wounds at's 30 HP for you nice. Thank you. I will

bonus action hide or a vanish and I'll say Kill him daughter All right, so that's John X great John X rolled the 17 misses. John X was still in the family Christmas wrap though. She also stuttered and you couldn't really hear her lines very well. So, um, is that your turn? Yes, that is me and John X's turn. So, um, is that your turn?

Yes, that is me and John X's turn. You see as a legendary action on Golden Obsidian's turn He is gonna follow suit and cast healing touch on Jins. Thank you You are going to get to regain. Ooh, a fucktana HP You're gain 34 points. You'll love to see it. I would thank Golden Obsidian, but I can't speak. I am just Much like his hero Gohan. He is extremely scared just like he was in the Saiyan fight Got to find your courage Mr. Piccolo I'm really scared. You can do this. Miss Leon. Okay, that is going to be... Oh, Jens, that's your turn.

Great, I can't do anything. I'm feared and I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

I'm scared. I'm scared. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha turn. Fortunately for you, Cash's turn is coming up, so your paralysis and frightened drops. Gah! Miss Leon, I could use a reaction, but I wasted my turn. I'm sorry. Since Nyak courageously vanished, Jens, unfortunately, great. You are the only person that can be attacked. Hey, you know what? At least now, I'm not incapacitated. Good and Johnics also be attacked.

Johnics could be attacked, it's true. Kill my daughter! Kill my daughter! Don't kill my brother! That is a 21 to hit. Shield. Okay, you shield. Let me do this I can attack That's 23 misses god damn it

She was very good Shield is very good. It's just it's just a very good spell Okay, that is going to be on X-turn Cash has already used his legendary action for this round great. I will I think I am in her arms like a bride and now I want to come around the back and take her in my arms. Just brides carrying brides. Using impossible centrifital action, you can't just do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm her in my arms. Just brides carrying brides. Using impossible, centrifugal action, you throw each other up in the air,

inspired by your need to get back to your friends. How much further up do you get? 120 feet. So I am now, we are now, 260 feet away. 260 feet away. Okay, awesome. That is going to be... Golden Obsidian's turn. You see that golden obsidian now with their horn full of these gods says...

I'm feeling quite stuffed. I don't know if I can do another one of those blasts. I'll just need to... I don't know. Hit him with my hooves or something. That's fine. You can also put the gods in my stomach if you need to, I don't know, hit him with my hooves or something. That's fine, you can also put the gods in my stomach if you need to, but whatever you wanna do. Yes, Nayaq is easy to control. I mean, no, we're not becoming evil. Just because we have the gods doesn't mean we should take over the world.

Well, we could, but we should, but we could. Well, we could, but we won't. Jens likes money and gods. Right, let me test it out. Here, eat this one fig newton Gladly Gladly I have I'm an iron stomach boy. Give me a constitution save no problem It's a 14 not bad, but keep working at it. Just like you one day you can swallow a god. My ex-swallows all of the puke that's in his mouth.

Just like choking, choking down a dry fake. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on the first attack from Golden Obsidian and then they're gonna hit on the second one with their godly golden horn. Let me see here. They do 19 damage to this hideous machine and that brings us back around to another layer action from cash. On this turn I think they finally look over at Golden Obsidian and see all the mischief. This God vessel has been causing and they point one of their mangled mechanical hands at the horse and you see a wave of minions all just jumps and climbs onto the horse and I'm gonna need to make a quick Constitution save. Hey, that's not a riding horse. That's a really smart horse Supposed to watch friends with that horse Perfect for the Sages

Says the corpse obsidian fails and he's going to take He says the corpse obsidian fails and he's going to take 30 points of fire damage as all of these corpses Explode And that is going to bring us to Olaf's turn Okay, the dosido of the brides continues all laugh will go under on X But we're actually going to, because presumably they're sort of like a circle, right?

So Olaf is actually going to go diagonally so that once we are within 140 feet, there is no line of sight on us, or like we are at least somewhat obscured if it's possible. Wow. So yeah, it's basically a big tunnel that goes from the palace to the bottom of the island, which means there are definitely spots to hide. Okay, yeah, so we go another 120 feet, so we are within 140 feet, but hopefully obscuring line of, that's you. I think we kiss a little bit. Hey.

We are going to something together down here. That is magnificent. There is a teamwork that is truly beautiful. You see Keychains, like, did you need help with that? Oh no, you got it. Cool, cool, cool. I'll just keep punching these winged men. You know how they say you have to lift yourself up?

I am very little. Really doing that. Just on it kissing an ice version of yourself. Oh wait, yeah, roll to see if you're lipstick. Okay. It's Constitution safe. Oh, I got an 18. Post my Constitution is two.

I got a dirty 20 to keep my lipstick beautiful. I'm wearing a pale purple lipstick. It just makes the lipstick look even better. I'm wearing pale purple and frosonics is wearing ice blue. Like a Game Boy color. Awesome. That's gonna be Nyak and Johnix's turn. All right, you shouldn't have hit bronze Chandler,

which is what we've been called, the moon of carn. It shouldn't have hacked my brother, and you really shouldn't have hurt my daughter. I'm going to use three jam points and cast slow. Not cast. Oh. Mm. Let me look up what slow does again.

One thing that it does is makes your AC too lower. Wow. And I'm hoping that my daughter will fuck you up now. Ha, ha, ha, ha. God, I want John to crit so bad. That's too high. Awesome. And you use your extra point to negate the legendary resistance? That's right. Cool, go ahead and make a general for me.

The general is a 10. Nice. 10. Cool. Threshold increases to 3. You're good. Okay. And now it's Johnnext's turn.

It is. Come on, Johnnext. Come on, Johnnext. Go. And now it's John X's turn. Moment of truth. It is John X's turn. Come on John X. Go. Go with God, daughter. John X puts on some glasses. That's a 19. That hits.

Yes. Yes. I'm so God damn proud of you. Beautiful. Roll damage for your wonderful gooey daughter. Wow. All right, so she, that's great. So that is nine-bloodgeoning damage.

Plus, 22 acid damage. Wow. This machine was already bleeding, but now it seems to be sputtering and letting you lose a little oil. It's still floating and looks like it's able to keep bleeding, but now it seems to be sputtering and letting you move some little oil. It's still floating and looks like it's able to keep fighting, but you've definitely done some damage to it. Cool.

All right, Johnx, now all you have to do is fly, and then you'll prove that you are worth a damn. I'm kidding. Johnx fiddles with their glasses a little bit. Cool. That's going to be another legendary action I'm kidding. John X fiddles with their glasses a little bit. Hahaha. Cool. That's gonna be another legendary action from Cash Everlasting here.

Let's see. They are going to do another title wave of these silver bodies. Everyone needs to make a strength check. Yes. 24 is the DC. Cool. Does anyone pass?

Not I. Uh, Niaq rolled a three. His daughter rolled it too. Cool. So you're all gonna take 34 points of damage. Oh no! Uh, and that is going to be Jens' turn. Okay. I look at Golden Obsidian and I say, Miss Leon, I'm not scared anymore. Kha, me,ha! HAAAAA! And I cast Chain Lightning.

Whoa! As I shoot a ball of lightning out, uh, Cash needs to make... Great work, kid! A dexterity saving throw. Oh! Any is disadvantaged on those because of Nyax Slow Spell. Yes.

Oh, wow. That worked. You chose the one bad stat that this god has. 13 fails. Oh! Uh, sweet. Okay. So this ball of chain lightning or this chain of lightning is gonna do 10-8-8s of damage.

Oh fuck me. Okay. 39 damage. Oh fuck me, okay. 39 damage. Wow. Jens, you see that this machine is starting to break down. Bits and pieces of it are sloughing off. Its eyes are growing reddened. Its mouths are parched and chapped.

Bro, yeah, no. This world is ours. You are not allowed to take what is ours to take, what is ours to have. Horsed by rights of the Doss. And they're gonna swing at you with their rusty blades. I'll also do a, does everybody have bardic right now? I use mine. I think I'm out of range to it.

I'll give it to Nayak as a bonus action. Thank you brother. They are also going to use their legendary resistance to beat the slow effect on their actual turn. Okay, 15's gonna miss you on the first hit and then this 26 hit you. Yes. Alright, finally they taste gin sweet flesh. So this is what the print is all excited about. You, you're weird. I've just decided now that you're weird. I'm not weird, I'm cool. I'm a big, flawed machine.

No, we're the coolest people in Trinneville. We have a ton of followers. We're extremely influential influencers. We get to stay in hotels for free. I pay a reduced rate. That's cool, right? You reduced rate? Jen's laughs so hardy cries. It's the same as being a member of AAA. Wow, thank you, Niaq. I'm gonna make you say AAA when I hit you with my blades. 38 damage. Okay, uh, Jen's is very hurt. Oh boy. That is going to be on axis turn. I'm just going to do a dash action.

So now we are within 20 feet, but we are hidden. Okay, you're hidden, you're clinging to the wall, but you're 20 feet away. We're clinging to the wall. Awesome. I'm going to see if Obsidian senses you. I'll roll with advantage because you have a link to Obsidian. Okay, I will tell Obsidian through the link

that I do not need any heels. We are both at fullidian. Okay, I will tell Obsidian through the link that I do not need any heels. We are both at full health. Okay. That is, okay, that's like a 17. I think that Obsidian senses you. Obsidian cannot use any more legendary actions. He's used all three of his abilities.

But on Obsidian's turn, sensing you, he casts teleport to bring you right up to the surface. So you won't need to spend any more action getting up. Okay, great, great. That's good, because Olaf's turn is quite soon. Welcome back. That is going to be cash's layer action again. You see that they are a mess of oil and blood and some pus for some reason. I don't quite know why. You see like some like weird spiritual pimples are forming on it. This will not stand. You all must go.

I mean, he's going to cast finger of doom again on Jins. So that's another wisdom save. I'm going to cast counter spell. This is a magical ability. This is not a spell. Okay. Oh, yeah, that's not gonna do it 16.

Oh, um, yeah, that's not gonna do it 16 That's going to be 28 damage I'm down Brother Yes, yes, I took from you. You see? Yes, mine now. So Suck on that huh? No, okay. I said I suck on it. No, I was no no, I don't you should suck on it No, okay, I suck on it. No, no, no, we should suck on it. Don't suck on it You're encouraged us to it. I suck on it so I'm curious. I don't accept it. I'm curious the benefits of sucking I will lick it briefly to see if there's any Benefit

Strong with you two everyone stop licking the enemy just tastes like he doesn't I didn't want to eat cereal gargling I'd blood stop licking I didn't want to eat cereal. Gargling on blood. Stop licking. I didn't want to eat cereal the other day. The flesh, but I had a little bit. The flesh, but I had a little bit. Stop licking. I had a little bit of the cereal, and it worked. So I'm going to try things. Just eat a goddamn fake Newton without throwing up

before you lick a goddamn fleshy, warm machine. That is going to be Olaf's turn. OK, so this is looking pretty fucked up, right? Yeah, extremely fucked up. Okay, Olofs will now cast Power Words stun, which is a mystic arcanum thing. Goodness. An 8th level spell in which you speak a word of power that can overwhelm the mind of one creature you can see with an range, leaving it dumbfounded.

If the target has 150 hit points or fewer, it is stunned. Otherwise the spell has no effect. Is this a spell? It is spell. All right, he is gonna counter spell this. I will counter spell that counter spell. Whoa! You're down, aren't you down?

I am down, fuck! God damn it. Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah have to roll cuz powerward stunts a level eight Yeah, it's actually an eighth level so you would have to roll a DC 18. Oh, okay. Yeah with your spell modifier Whatever is all modifier. Okay. All right. It is charisma. Let's see It is charisma. Let's see. Shout it to the four doors. That is a tin total. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! So he stunned! The war machine is stunned. Stunned. It doesn't do any damage. It doesn't do any damage,

but it means that both Johnx and, well, everyone will get advantage on attacks, and here, I'll read what it. I mean I think stunned. You can do a constitution save at the end of each of its turns on a successful uh but stunned is I think a pretty good condition that you like can't attack in it I think. Yeah you're pretty much incapacitated. Yeah you're stunned creature is incapacitated. Wow. Yeah, you see this bleeding machine's eyes close and don't, it clunks to the ground right next to Niaq.

Have at it. Ha, ha. Niaq just sort of shrugs and is like, huh. And he fires two arrows and casts hail oforns right at this guy's head I guess. Is that a save for Halo Thorns? I think so. If it's a save it'll automatically fail I think. Oh no it is a save. Great. Okay. But it'll automatically fail. Great. It's so beautiful. Let's see if it's yeah it's a deck save so it automatically fails. And you roll with advantage under attacks. Yeah. to deck safe so it automatically fails.

And you're all with advantage under attacks. Yeah. Sweet, so that's a 20 to hit on the first one. And a 21 to hit on the next. So hit. The total damage is 57. Nice. Yeah. That's an onyx turn right there.

That feels good. It feels good to do something. And then I eat a fake Newton as a bonus action. And also, also, Johnx will get to attack with advantage. Niax and Johnx. Finish cash. Yes! Wow.

Is it possible for me to have my, my beautiful daughter, Johnnex, take a cure wounds and, and wake her sleepy uncle? What? Okay, wait, wait, wait, Niaq, how about this? What if you put the bad guy on Jens' sword and then I will healing hands him. You wake up thinking he has planned. All right, perfect. So what are you doing?

So Johnx picks up cash and puts him directly, directly on the sword. Stop it, no. Then I nod it on it. I meant to rule. This is mine. And then it would be his in trouble. This is mine. What? Oh. And then it would be as darn but he is dead

and I do healing hands on Jan. Oh, for 50. I've saved Trinnyville. I'm running the camera as this goes on. I've saved Trinnyville from the hacker. I could have done it. Die hacker! Die hacker!

Without my best friend, so I would never talk shit about, especially my niece who I've never said a bad word about. The bleeding metal carapace around Cash's body falls the ground, and once more you see the small cash parasite. It skitters away and snickers at you, then whistles. Suddenly, more ghostly hands appear from the floor, and begin forming a shell around it again. Don't you get it? As long as I got willing bodies to burn, I can't be defeated!

I got capital and blood to spare. The world is mine! Hahaha! As he speaks, you see this glittering golden beam blasted out from obsidian's horn and strike him. And as it does, you hear a booming whisper. You are wrong! The beam transforms into a celestial figure.

A radiant cape covers a body made of golden crystals. And on the being's face, you see a golden mask bearing a familiar symbol. Three eyes stacked vertically over each other. Some know it as the sinner's mark, others as the golden iris. But in truth, it is the symbol of the celestial entity that now stands before you, the hidden God. The being reaches out its hand and crushes cash within its grasp. Who are you?

We are magic, broken down to its simplest and most pure form. We are a wish spell crafted by the Trine, not to rule this world, but to save it. When we were first born, the Trine called us Heaven's Hands, and that is our true goal. By spreading our wish-granting essence across the entire world, we can provide aid to all who need it. Those who hunger can wish for food, Those in pain may wish for healing. In this state, our power will not be great enough to change reality, but it will be strong enough to give reality the power to change itself.

It is through these small, incremental wishes that a golden hope for tomorrow can be born. The hidden God covers cash with both hands, and that future has no place for beings like you. The God turns to you. We serve the people of Trinavale. Tell us what fate would you give this creature? Squish him. Yeah, squish that. Just he hacked my brother, squeezing until his eyeballs come out. I was going to say that they have to be a social media manager.

Oh, that's interesting. And they have to like really want to make it work. Or I'm thinking of some sort of purgatory sort of punishment. And Mercurio gets paid in experience. Mercurio is an unpaid intern for the rest of their life. And they just all they want is to get to the next level and they can't. Indeed. We find this fitting.

You see the hidden god squishes cash between the tans and then reshapes cash into a scrawnyer version of Mercurio who has a little man bun and a clipboard and he runs up to you and says, hey, do y'all need anything? I can I get you a coffee or something? I got post-scheduled. I got everything lined up, just like whatever y'all need, I am here for you, I am an extension of your being crushing kill it

You seem really competent. This is actually really hard to not give you a permission We would like some mince from the olive garden in Killabas and just understand that as the super that I guess you sound now We are turning you into the people that you fuck over. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, I'm in hell, my entire existence is hell, I'm gonna go get those mints right now, he walks right into the hole in the middle of the ground. Oh, I should have warned him about that.

Very well, well, a good choice. A good choice. You see that the hidden guide walks over to Obsidian, who has collapsed now that the god has left his frame, and it blows a little life back into Obsidian. Obsidian jumps up. Oh. Oh.

Oh, okay, so we're back. Okay. I guess Niaq is the Chandler after all. Niaq shuts his eyes and pumps his fist. Obsidian, I give him a little nod just to see if he's still. Maa. Obsidian? Maa.

To his point. You see Obsidian leads in close to you and says, maa. Okay, the way you built it up, I really thought for sure. The other city in Leeds and Closed You and says, Maaah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, the way you built it up, I really thought for sure you were awakened now, but it really makes sense, but you know, I love you. Let's do this together. Maaah! That is this creature's pure state of being. I know, and I knew it from the start. We asked if they wish to be changed changed to gain the power of speech,

but they refused. Hmm. Interesting. And now, speaking of attaining your true form, it is time for us to do the same. And you see the hidden God dissolves into a thin, golden mist that flashes for a moment and then disappears. And as this happens, the entire palace begins to rumble.

Without cash to hold it together, you see the silver skeletal bodies all begin to dissolve. As they do, you see smiles of relief, break across their faces, and then, pfft, they are returned to dust. If anyone is kind of disappearing as a soul, can I real quick soul cage them? Natch, absolutely. Well, wait, are they bad guys? This is early.

Oh, I see the conundrum. Okay, I give them their piece. For some reason I thought oh they are departing and I can borrow their soul but you're right. Give them their piece. I do not do this. You put a soul in for a second it says hey big fan. Can I die? Okay yeah, peace is yours. And then as the palace dissolves, you begin to fall. But you fall slowly, gently. And as you fall, you realize... Gensitosely. Hey, easy.

As gently as possible. Not funny. Get away from my daughter, you can't date her. And as you fall, you realize that the hidden God is guiding your descent. So you kind of gently feather fall back down to the earth, taking kind of a long, leisurely route. You see keychain and all of the pilots wave at you. They've defeated the Silver Wing Guards

with little to no trouble, and they say, see you back at the apartment and blast away. And then you find yourself drifting all the way back to the surface of Trinaville, right? In the middle of Vainel R. As you stand up in surveyor surroundings, you see a sprinkling of golden dust falling from the sky. And as it lands on the ground, it settles into the distinct shape of three figures.

The figures rise, and you see standing before you are the three gods of Trinneville. Except now, they don't seem quite divine. Their eyes no longer glow, and delicate wrinkles carve their features. You see Nidhas and the Larr look at each other and smile. You see Leont winks at you, Jens. I'm not deeply. And then all three of them come over and put their hands on your shoulders. And you all share a big sigh of relief. And then Nidoss turns and begins to speak.

Thank you for all you've done. Now we can grow old and rest easy knowing that for the first time since its birth, Trinavale is once again in good hands. Ah, you see Nalar, sheepishly steps in beside Nadas and addresses you as well. Indeed. I truly don't know how you did it. Like seriously, I don't know how you did it. That was absolutely insane. The whamping you gave that false god. It was incredible.

Just so tight, like- It's kind of ruled. Yeah, I think it might have been my first time gritting on an exploit, girl. Is it okay? I was gonna say. I'm probably gonna master babe. I'm gonna get my crystal going just so I can catch all of this.

A god talking us up real quick. If that's okay, we're just gonna go live on Trinstagram and point to one action. And I call this spoon. Oh. Ha ha ha. Onx gets out of the picture because she's never been on camera. I don't like, I don't just photo recognition. Oh, come on, get in here.

Get in here. Come on. No, just this one. No, I don't do this. No, just this one. No, I'm not letting the algorithm find out my face. Prozonix too. Olaf can get in there.

I, uh, put some makeup to look her look different. Hey! Nice curtsy. So you all appear in this video with the now mortal gods of Trinneveil, uh, and once it's finished, Nalar speaks to you one more time. You know I almost hate to say it, but seems like the benefactor really knew how to put together a team. Huh gang? Yeah.

Okay so kind of a mixed response on that when I thought it was clever. No I agree with that I absolutely agree with that. Yeah no I love the benefactor. What? Well we have experience of the benefactor. No, that's fair, that's fair. I have what? Eleverate.

At this whole time, if you love the benefactor, I'm just trying to be positive around the gods. That actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah, you're right. I love the benefactor too. You see Leon kind of laughs and slaps you on the back. You can think about us however you want. We're pieces of shit. And now we're going to die slowly.

And honestly, I couldn't be happier. Well, congratulations. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I wish you a gentle, honest, natural death surrounded by your loved ones. Hey, here's to that. But, uh, let's see if we can maybe accelerate that a little bit. How about a party, you guys in? Yes.

All right. Okay, yeah, no, I am, yeah. Fantastic. So, do you know a place? I think it's an Applebee's that blabbed. Applebee's? No, Wilkins, look, I'll have the prints see if there's like a guest castle

like a summer castle or something else. Oh, if you have the have the prince just like set up our tab at Apple bees We can get that app we can get apps for everyone. Okay, everyone gets their own app. We're doing enough to share. We're going to do a vote. I encourage you all. I encourage you all to vote for summer castle But we will do Apple bees if I'm out voted. We'll do Apple bees. I vote for Summer Castle, but we will do Apple Bees if I'm out-voted. We'll do Apple Bees. I vote Star Castle. He said it. Apple Bees.

I vote Apple Bees. God damn it. All three gods vote Apple Bees. What? All right. Yeah, Blavyn's got a booth that's like a custom to his rear. Okay, we're at least gonna rent out the Apple. Can the gods at least rent out the Apple Bees for us? Unfortunately, what? We have no power anymore. We are mortal

same as you. I text the prince to see if we can at least just get our own my corner. Literally the same amount of wrinkles on the god does you, Jens. What? I just notice. Oh, yeah, that's true. You're all aging so gracefully. I am a mirror to somewhere between 15, 100 years old. After an elf, that is very young. So you text the prince and he does manage to get you. He can't get the whole Applebee's on short notice. Oh my god. Okay

Well, I mean okay if it's a trivia night, that's fine if we just need an area. I would just want a booth Just like we just need a booth while the night is happening and they don't play any music And there's a loud trivia questions that we don't know the answer to being broadcast We need a room and trivia night is canceled The first does manage to get trivia night canceled when he gets you a mid-size room. And you and all of your friends and family gather at Apple P's or sell over to me. At one end of the table, you see Z in Norwalk catching up with Wilton the party ape.

Hey. Wow at another end. Lavon and the Lumiere family pound chicken wine. Over behind the bar you see keychain serving up custom toilet whiskey cocktails to Dr. Dan Berry, Ron and Laxana. Wow, we brought in a lot of outside alcohol. Maybe talk to the prince about a laying that situation. Yeah, it's just gonna be a BYUB situation.

Jin's sitting next to you, our prince Aster and Rebecca. Oh. Well, on the other end, keeping their distance from Onyx, our Keith and his boys. I think I let the distance happen, but I do give Keith like a little nod, like a little what's up. He nods back at you. And then in the overflow booth, the DOS and the LAR make out while Leont and the silver

back, smoke a bong indoors. We have ruined this Applebee for everyone here. Trivia Knight is off and we're doing drugs here. The manager looks so upset. So you close down this Applebee's, much like you once close down, Pawpaw Gumps Jambalaya Jamboreen. I think that's what I was thinking of when I said apple bees. Yeah, Pawpaw Gumps Jambalaya Jamboreen was fully booked. You had to go to Applebee.

And eventually the party guest all leave or pass out in the Applebee's or claim that they're your roommates now and rush back to your apartment. And at the end of the night, you three are left to wander the streets of Vena-lar alone. This is a good point, Jen. I was thinking maybe we get a new place. Wow. I'm thinking castle situation where we can settle down with our new family, my niece, and my daughter.

And also Obsidian who we like again because Obsidian blasted the shit out of that evil demigod When did we not like obsidian? Oh, no, we always love obsidian. I never talked shit about obsidian. I never talked shit about obsidian I was hacked just now. I was hacked But yes, I think Why don't we see if the prince can get a set up in a castle and We'll try to you know rush along a wedding try to get that going as soon as possible before we sign any kind of pre-nuptial agreement or anything This is really good. We're gonna scam the prince aren't we? Do you need me to cast a start value on you?

Do you need me to guess to start value on you? Jinsa looks at Onyx with kind eyes and nods. Yes. Yes, I think we have a lot of people left to con and so You three and your three weird familiars Walk down the streets of analelar, hatching your next plot. And above you, the two moons of Trinnevelle, frame serenely by a golden blanket of stars, gleam brightly with a light that's both sharp and new. And as you walk, a warm breeze cuts through the cold evening air. And for a moment, you feel comfortable and complete. And that is where we'll end our story.

Oh, wow! Happy ending for us! The grip! Wow! The grip! The gripters lived to drift another day! I love the idea of them just all living at a party castle. Oh my God. He's con artist Learned you know us and despite all odds you made the world better

Which really did great work all the well that was that was incredible. That was really fun Oh, good job. Thank you all so so much. Oh, you did amazing work. There was it was an honor. You gave us too many toys You did not, you did doc me out at the end and you threw onyx and um, frozenx to Olaf down a hole. It was honestly fun to me. To be down a hole. A plummet 500 feet and have to make it work. Yeah. You know, if you can't kill someone just throw them in a hole.

That's a DM tip for you. Um, and we will have more DM tips on our short rest, which you can find at patreon.com slash nad pod. Don't sing, don't sing it. Oh, okay. Oops, don't sing it. Don't sing it. I start singing, I fucked up. I'm sorry.

You know, it's the last one, you fuck up. You're gonna fuck up. Here's the thing, you never get better. Yeah. Ah, but I'll tell you about a couple of people who have gotten way better at making my life easier on talking of course about Henry A, who provided me with a D&D Beyond subscription,

which I used to make what I thought was a pretty strong boss, but turned out to be a weak piece of shit. Not Henry A's fault though. Not Henry A's fault at all. We've also got Yen's Christian T who composed some of the music you heard throughout all of Trinaville. And then of course we've got Trevor Lion our producer and a huge, absolutely massive thank you so much to Daniel Ramos and K Matsuo who are the sound engineers and composers

for Trinaville. Daniel and K have really made Trinaville what it is. Daniel, from the very beginning in K, who has come on to help as these episodes have gotten exponentially bigger and wilder. Thank you both so, so much. You can find Trevor on Twitter at Line at large. Daniel on Twitter at Schubert's, SCHUBIRDS, and then came at Suho on Twitter at night sharks with two S's. And of course, I would be remiss without thanking my sweet, sweet nieces and nephews. Thank you so much for playing with me. Thank you, Uncle. Thank you, Uncle. It's been an honor. A distinct pleasure.

I kind of thought you were going to think soos. Yeah, thanks sooos for honestly putting up with me. It's 9 o'clock and we haven't eaten dinner yet, so honestly, yeah, thank you very much. Thanks sooos. This has been a blessing and a treat and a privilege and this is not the last you've heard of the triplets, nor is it the last you've heard of my nieces and nephews. If you would like to hear more from them, you can do it on Twitter at CH Murphy's Murph at eaxford is Emily at J.

Kerrwitz is Jake and at call the is me. And of course, you can tweet about the show using hashtag mad pod that's in a DDP OD. Let him hear it. We are your... You the... We are your... You better stop the game. You gotta just sing it.

You can't try to time it, because it's just never gonna work. It's not gonna work. Ha ha ha. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Starting with Jeffrey S. Andrew M. Beardman Dan, Brad D. Cutter W. and Danielle the Dasterly Dame.

Cache's minions who slept in late and missed the fight. Luckily for them, they got to survive the wamping. And of course we got Danny Danny P Dylan B Alena C hall door frostbock steel breaker and John S a K Schubert the mushroom, a lovely family that was out to dinner at the Apple B's winner

trevil team 22 showed up with all their weird friends and ruin their evening. Their meal wasn't reimbursed, but they did get half priced advertisers. Jordan DJ Scott D. Atomarm, exologist MichaelDee, Boundorse Boy, and Jive G. The unfortunate hotel employees who had to clean up the triplet suite after they spent all night mounting a new TV to watch simultaneous episodes of friends

while also chiseling an ice sculpture in the bathroom. Just an eye, Elena M. Jacob C, Damien R, cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, and T.J.M, the gnome barbarian, the prince's accountants who are absolutely begging the prince to break up with Jens. They are the only things standing between the kingdom and total financial ruin. Destin C, Traile the Crafe, Sergio Salazar, Salaman Sakurai, Stase Aquani, Kelvin Noodles and Michael L. Johnx, the jam hogs, natural born enemies, Dr. Peanut Botnik, Botniks, chunky robots.

Richard X Machina, trash the traveler, Jory S. and Ryan, the air marshals that arrested Gens for storming into the pile of captains cabin during the flight. Gens is bleeding not guilty because he was hacked. Try and make sure Mike H. Nicholas C. Sam L. and Samuel B. The lawyers who prevented Jens from going to prison by suggesting he sent a simulacrum in his place.

Fros Gen 2 is currently serving three consecutive life sentences. Sholo Dolo, Austin MR, Gage M, Colton B, and Yen's Christian T, Frosonix to Olaf's Glam squad they keep her icicles sharp and glistening. Matthew E, Andrew B, Risen S, Eric and Andrea B, Klee E, and Jordan L, the Trinstagram tech support team that is trying desperately to find any evidence that Jens was indeed hacked, keep looking. Matt M. Barnes & Adder, C.C. Lulu, Jared, E.N.J. The bartenders' employees at the Classy

Airport lounge that the triplets could go to if they didn't always make a beeline for the chillies. Christopher B. Dana G. Joe McGee, Persephone, 8-phone, Aiden RH and Austin C, the vocal trainers that have all since sued Onyx for demanding her money back after they didn't see results with Obsidian looks like their work paid off. Eric G, Aaron as Lucas B, Luke H, and Timmy R, Retrieval Team 9, infamous for dealing the most damage in a single fight. Unfortunately, it was a PvP fight. Rest in PvP Retrieval Team 9.

Devon W. Michelle O. Dan and Caleb L. The Autobotty Dealers that covered Keychains new form in sick airbrushed art. Omri M. Maxwell C. Mike K. Steven C. and Nikki W. Prince's Buds who keep telling him, you can do better. Every time he sends off another unanswered text to Gens. Grace G, Karen T, Shane B, Kevin M, Mateo C, and Role, and Frosonix II, Olaf's crew of Frozen Friends, weirdly enough they're all named after characters from Shrek, which seems completely off-themed. Mara about the Kitty Morphing gnome, Angel B. Esmi M. I am the atlas and Michael C.

John X's crew of Jelly Sheep friends, known officially as the Jam Lambs. Nicholas P. Robert F. Atticus C. and Kessamere the all-knowing the owners of pop-hop gums, Jambolyah, Jambury, who had a whole celebration laid out for the triplets only for them to arbitrarily choose Applebees. Chris R. Nicholas D. Michael K. M. Panama James, Eric McDee, and Nathaniel P. Online trolls who actually did try to hack Jens ended up hacking Jens Lindell Comedy instead because they thought he had more cloud. Rebecca O. Nick L. Jack L. Temporal, Burley T. and Christian A. The Rainbow Chandlers, while Nyak and Obsidian compete for the title of Gold Chandler, these Chandlers represent all colors of the rainbow.

Can they be any more colorful? Change, or? Thank you. Gosh, you like telling so much. It's all funny, we guys. The you like telling so much. It's all funny because The reason friends is so present in this campaign Because Jake came and say Naya is gonna be a chance. It's gonna be like Chandler for friends and that never gave true

Okay back to the so sorry for that digression. Jay Dragonborn, Jonathan O. Michael M. the Red Rain, and Drew Nasty, retrieval team 23. The team, they hired to save the world after retrieval team 22, devolved into grifters. KJ, Hordeofo, Dave H. Feldonis, Grant, and Adrian the Halfling Bard, a team of deep fake experts who were able to identify that Gens was not hacked and used it to blackmail him.

Luckily Gens is flush with the Princess Money, so everyone wins. Eric B, John H, and Adam G, New York, and Nick W. Obsidian's vocal trainers who are all very proud of themselves for Obsidian's golden voice. They're kind of ignoring the fact that it was mostly a gift from the God, but that's fine. Ryan W. Axel A. Christianess, Catherine S. Shadow and Ben A. A bunch of gelatinous familiars who Niaq looks at like his own children, a proud father of Septuplets. Douglas A. Nathan, Big Bad John, Brittany B, Emilio D, and Frankie Koala, a group of mixologists who developed a low alcohol content session, Margarita.

Blavin still managed to drink 488 of them though to get a low buzz. Keith K. Cody B. Felix F. David K. Richard Jam and Aston S, Applebee's chefs and servers, the triplets may have saved Trinny Vale, but you are the true heroes. Cody C, Fetty Daddy 187, Pork Chop, Raphael O, The Sondrayan, and Chanel M, Onyx's other children made in her likeness, known as Connix, Bonyx, Ponyx, Rafaunix, Sonix, and Shonix. Hannah W. Alice, depressed demon hunter, Jonathan Deb C, Justin Raccoon, Crunch, and Nick D. A group of teenagers who stayed on the little moon as it spun out of control because it was really epic. Justin Raccoon is still suffering from vertigo,

but according to their teenage friends, that is also really epic. Patrick B. Vashgard. Blair J. M. Alice A. Master of Popos. Minette F. Patrick L. and Sevexel. Jen's new social media team in charge of selling sponsored posts on his Instagram, Alice just sold a couple posts for an untested wrinkle cream that Jen's won't advertise for reasons that have nothing to do with morality.

And that is it for this week. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to our short rest that's patreon.com slash and ad pod. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course all of our Council of Elders. We'll catch you all next time. We are, we are.

That was a hate gun podcast. all of our Council of Elders, we'll catch y'all next time. We are, we are. That was a Hate Gum podcast.