Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 4: Moonlight Marauders

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

There's Big Trouble on the Little Moon and Team 22 is right in the thick of it! Onyx has an unexpected reunion, Nyack becomes a Trinstagram model and Jens goes fully off the grid as the hunt for the 4th Ginnarak Crystal begins! Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (www.TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)Additional SFX Additional Music by Kei Matsuo  "Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"Pollox" by Emily Axford"Obsidian" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinnevale. Oh gosh, like jam on my biscuit. There it is. A world blessed with three powerful deities. Two shining moons. And one brand new social media influencer who's taking the world by storm. It is a true adventurers paradise.

Today's story begins on the bustling tarmac of the Vain-Alorean Sky Port. As our heroes approach the benefactors' private hangar, a clockwork owl swoops down to scan the blurry eyes of Blavin' Blanford. Satisfied, the owl hoots and the door slides open, revealing a sleek spacecraft bound for Trinavale's smaller moon. Can our heroes successfully scour its surface and uncover the fourth Ginnarat crystal? And more importantly, can they spend

10 consecutive hours on a plane with Blavin without going insane? Hello. Only time will tell, and so, without further ado, let's rejoin, Retrieval team 22, and begin chapter 4 of the Trinavale Adventure. Before we begin, Bravably Blavin should get the aisle seat. Something tells me that dude... Yes, I'm a Blinvino.

Yes, you've only packed tiny little bottles of liquor Well, you know they run out on the airplane so quickly No full of chin. They only give you two or three max of those bad boys. You got a pack your own not even a sweatshirt You're one of those people that the air that the flight attendants cut off Blavin already has his mask on he's asleep Sitting in he's sitting in the middle. I'll sit next to my brother. I'm just gonna move inside, brother.

I'm just gonna start watching Avatar and instantly fall asleep. I love that movie. Hello friends and welcome back to the table. I'm your dungeon master slash dunkel called Well Tanner, joined by who wants to introduce themselves first. Let's roll for it, please. 15. 14.

Natural one. Ooh, go around the table, Murph. I feel like I should go first. I gotta go. Jen's Lindell, sword dancer, high elf, friend, not a friend. I like that.

Onyx Lumiere, Trinival, Trin, Lumiere. Trin-e-velle. Trin-flue-en-f-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t Best friend to Jens Lendell. Have strangers. Don't forget roommates. I like that you're both wearing shirts that say that. I'm wearing a shirt. It's your airplane shirt. Get it off of me. What is this strange time?

You had to put it on to get through security. It's choking me. Now I know you goons want to get loony on the moon, but first how about a quick recap of our last episode? It's been a while. Let's do it. Alright, here we go.

When last we were in Trinaville, your search for the third Generac Crystal led you three in Blav into the doorstep of Vainelar's hottest entertainment venue, Club Silver. Whereas Secret Underground Auction was about to take place. You tried to enter the club, but unfortunately you weren't stylish enough and the nomish bouncer kicked you out. Bullshit. After locating a delirious, curious makeover machine, you'd done some club worthy duds and headed to the entrance.

But before you could enter, you were interrupted by the enormous golden mick mansion of local fancy boy Nathaniel Clasp. After some initial foibles, Onyx managed to impress Clasp by offering to be his social media manager for a struggling Trinstagram account. And so you all headed down to the club. Unfortunately, NIAC pre-gamed a bit too hard, so you all took a quick detour to the bathroom. While there you learned about the bar's gunk bowl challenge from some disco dwarves and decided to give it a shot. At the bar you pressed the bartender for more information about the secret auction and gins went full coyote ugly. After a little more sleuthing you eventually tracked down the special silver sunglasses needed to pass

through a magic mirror into the club's massive back room. Once there you learned that this was no ordinary auction but in fact a battle auction. And so as Blav and Lord Silver and other nobles watched from above, you three launched into an encounter against a variety of combatants, including Nathaniel Clasp, Saltgol and Bodyguards, an Arbor Knight, and a half-orc noble woman named Monica Redbloom. After several rounds of fun draining fisticuffs, you managed to outlast all the other competitors and fully deplete Blavvins bank account. He lives at your house now. No.

No. Everyone get out. We're going to need a bigger apartment, Jen. Yes, you need your own apartment. I sleep very warm, so whoever's bad, I'm sharing. Just be aware of that. You're sharing any beds. You're living on the roof with the rest of that.

Jen's, I talked to you, landlord, and he said a bigger apartment is opening. So maybe you might want to. So you might want to start paying rent and maybe move in. No, I talked him into letting you move into that. Oh, I went ahead and set up a meeting with the landlord. He's an old friend. What is? None of you get to make decisions for me. I prefer the cozy apartment.

I've made a chore wheel forever, and to follow. I'll be cleaning up the empties, obviously. I right move out under everyone's chore list. However, before you could accept your award, a group of nomish techno-mix burst out of the floor and began to steal the crystal. While this was happening, the nomish DJ and disco ball operators used magic spells to

hit in a tie all of Lord Silver's security guards in the main area of the club. Amidst the chaos you noticed that the pilot of the large mech was actually Onyx's former lover Keith! And that the Elvish noble woman on the balcony were actually doogled, tougal and bungle your nomish friends in disguise. However, before you could process this, a frustrated Nathaniel clasp summoned their enormous mech mansion to stop down through the ceiling. You all dodged the attack, while Onyx dove towards it to catch Keith in our arms.

They shared a tender, slightly gross moment, during which Keith entrusted the third crystal to Onyx. He and the rest of Dugal's dozen then hijacked the Golden Nick mansion which was their true target all along and blasted off into the night. As the dust. I feel like I need to tell everyone I I did rub one out with the Gennarack Crystal. We all saw it. I didn't see it. She was during dinner. She was in the bathroom but it was during dinner and the door was open. I don't need dinner with any of you. I get worried about missing out. She was in the bathroom, but it was during dinner, and the door was open. I don't need dinner with any of you. I get worried about missing out when I'm in the bathroom,

so I need the door. See how slow about you, Shower? You know that's an incredibly powerful relic. I don't, how are you feeling? I know, but it was in Keith's hands. Okay, I'm gonna, you're going to the doctor after this. You probably should go anyway. As the dust settled, Lord Silver,

who revealed himself to be the brother of the Silverbat Gorilla of Nyax tribe, congratulated you on your victory and asked Nyax about his parents. After some small talk, you all absconded to Papas Waffle Spa, where Blavin granted you the third punch on your punch card, and you all mercilessly taunted the now penniless that Fanny'll clasp. It was here that Blavin granted you the third punch on your punch card, and you all mercilessly taunted the now-pinulus,

the fannual clasp. It was here that Blavin received a call from Benedictus Vivalais, aka the benefactor, letting him know that the next Genre Act crystal had been located. And so, you all headed home to pack up for your trip to Pollux. The smaller of Trinavale's two moons, or, as Onyx might call it, home.

Oh, I thought you were going to say petite moon. Petite de lunaar. And so now, we're going to the bad moon. No, we are going to the small, you know, some of the best things in life come in small packages. You know, it's just, it's the moon that doesn't try as hard as the other one. I just can't even see it up there. It's the floating rock. One would argue it's your perspective. Is it extremely far away?

No, it must be. It must be closer. It's actually closer. No, it's closer. It's not the size of the planet. It's the motion of the retrograde. All right. Lavon takes off his sleeping mask.

Okay, is everyone ready to blast off? Yes. Okay, sluper, you heard him, let's go. You all buckle your seat belts down your pre-flight cocktails and Blavin tells your old pal, sluper, to punch it. In the blink of an eye, you're hurtling towards the stratosphere. Out your window, Vainelar becomes a copper-coated cog of a memory as you embrace the dazzling void of space and settle in for your briefing.

Okay gang, so I know I normally deliver a super concise summary and you all love that part of the day, but I've actually got a little bit of a surprise for you this time. Blav in smiles then clicks a small remote. A projector screen slides down from the ceiling and turns on, revealing a well dressed, slightly tired looking nobleman with an ornately carved golden cane seated in a cushy armchair. Next to him is a small box with three familiar looking crystals mounted inside. Oh, so you're just going to play a movie so you can get sauce, to have... Blavin is pouring one rom, one coke, and then another rom into a small cup.

He's got in between each finger, he's got one of those little nips that is pouring in. Look at me, I'm Wolverine. The man on the screen addresses you, hello retrieval team 22. I am Benedictus Vivaleus, the 14th, but you might have of course known me better as the Benefactor. I just wanted to congratulate you on your successes thus far and wish you the very best on your

quest to find the fourth crystal. The screen switches to a map of the lunar surface, over which a large cloud with several dots is placed. Now, unfortunately, due to lunar interference caused by large clusters of nulfrost, our sensors haven't been able to pinpoint the crystal's exact location, but we have triangulated a likely area. We'll be setting you down there. The camera wides out and we see that the benefactors chair is seated next to a large marble hot tub. Nearby a halfling butler is grilling up a huge plate of hot dogs. He winks at you and wiggles his mustache. The camera then adjusts

back in on the benefactor. Well, that's all from me. Blavin will take it from here. Happy hunting team. The video cuts out. You look over and see that Blavin is snoring loudly. You've got a few hours before you arrive at Pollux. What do you want to do? Well, for me first things first. I need to know is there Wi-Fi on this flight? There is Wi-Fi on the flight. Unfortunately due to the Null Frost that grows naturally on Polos, there's not really much service outside of like, you know a house or a Starbucks that you might find there, but yes, there's Wi-Fi on theos. There's not really much service outside of like, you know, a house or a Starbucks

that you might find there, but yes, there's Wi-Fi on the flight. Okay, well, I guess I'm going to have to do everything on this flight. I've got some sponsored posts. I need to... You have to queue them up. Do you need a model for them? Well, it's for D-Tax-T, so, you know, I need a nice... So you need someone who's kind of sleek... Sleep grip. Good call. Nia.

Will you pose with this D-txt? It's called skinny me. You honor me. Sounds disgusting. I would want to drink it anyway. I go watch out. It's part. Hold that some honey egg bows so deep to the top. I need you to actually drink some for this picture. It would be my pleasure.

I don't know if it will agree with your weak stomach. I act like a deep deep sip. I'm taking pictures. I'm posted on. I'm so glad that you brought up the trend Instagram again because I did make an entire little mini game for how it works. Ah!

Ah! So you were at 147,000 followers last episode. Remember, if you think about it, it's more 147 sheep to me, they're shepherd. Yeah, 147,000 friends is how I've described it. Yes. They look to us for guidance and tea. Yes. So 147,000 friends is how I've described it. They look to us for guidance and tea. So 147,000 is going to translate to 14 gold that you earned for a sponsored post last time.

Yes! And here's the way this is going to work. So you've got a post queued up. It is a sponsored post, but it's got an eye again. And I think NIACs got kind of a youthful charm that people are really gonna love Yeah, so I need you to go ahead and roll a raw D20 13 13 okay, so now you can add your charisma modifier to that Plus five so 18 18

That's a great post Now that you've made a great post people are loving it. Uh, Nyak. I think is like probably getting a bit of a following There's a bit of a Nyak fandom out there I would like to troll the comments a bit Was I like? I'd like to make a dummy account and be like this is this guy have a more refined brother He's like kind of half good looking Question mark question question mark.

Are you? And I'm responding. I absolutely do. My brother is the handsome as man. All right, we'll get to the dummy account. Come up with a name for that first. One question before we proceed. Did you rebrand the account in the off time?

No, it is still the name is still. Still clasp code. Still clasp code. Okay, so you're beginning the pivot now though. Yes, I am beginning the pivot. The pivot is beginning. All right, so- But I have not established like who this belongs to.

It's kind of more becoming a lifestyle. And people are embracing the Tommy T. Nyak lifestyle. They still- Let's still upon me your phone, I will take a selfie. So, with a great post, I need you to go and roll the D100. 65. 65. Okay, I'm going to do a calculation.

You gain 6,500 followers. Oh, the crystal approves. Brother, I'm viral. People are loving this Naya content. There's some, I see a lot of negative comments too though. I'm viral. People are loving this naia content. There's some, I see a lot of negative comments too though. That must just hurt just to see a few there though. Like you see all the positive comments but it's the negative ones that kind of stick with

you. Well, even the negative ones are positive about my brother and that fills me with joy. Wait, I'm looking at you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go diarrhea in the small bathroom. Somehow Blavin is already in there. He's sleepwalked into the bathroom. I would also like to take a private moment and just see if Keith is on Instagram.

And maybe kind of slide in. Follow him. OK, you follow Keith. Yeah, do you want to look at what Pictures Keith's been posting? Yeah, just let me see what he's been up to. I'm really happy being single. I just want to put that out there, but...

Now, you got to remember that this is only taking place literally a few hours after the nightclub. So I think that Keith and his boys have probably been doing like a joy ride with their giant McMansion. Like if you and your friends were to go mudding out in the countryside, they're doing that, but in a giant robot.

Ah, okay. So they're just kind of like stomping on hills and like. Okay, great. So I know like hat, tanker, gross. No, it's a dudes trip. Is it me? I see. And I accidentally like the last couple.

Oh shit. Oh my god. Does anyone have like time reversal spell or something? I'm for you. Your phone buzzes. It's a text from you. What does it say? What you up to?

Sorry, bad service going to moon. They respond K, winky face. Okay, I send them a meme of like a really hot girl jiggling her butt. I knock extra hard on the bathroom. Flavin, open up. Alex needs to masturbate quickly. I don't need to masturbate. I'm happy being single.

I love being single. What are you doing under the plane blanket? Is he picking it on zipping my pants? Keith responds, Wall wish this was you. I don't respond that, but under my breath say, may do. Jens is furiously following and unfollowing Onyx. Hopefully we get a follow back. Hopefully we get to do that.

I open it up. I see that it says follow back under your thing, but I don't. Jens is doing that really sad thing where he's clearly trying to be an influencer, but it's not taking off Wait, you want me to roll to see how many followers you get? Yes. What's the name of your account? Jen's Lindell official And let Jen's Lindell was not taking Trying to get that blue check Give me a roll. Give me a Roddy 20.

Six. All right. Okay, go ahead and add your charisma to that. Plus four. So 10? Sweet. It's a solid post. Give me a D100 roll.

63. 63. Cool. Wow. Dang, you already have 630 followers. Wow. What? Everyone's on Instagram these days. It is a service that's exploding. It's like when Facebook first started And everyone's just like trying to get requests trying to get invites my brother is famous

Nayaq have so many more followers ever since I started using as us a model I'm just like, Delepician. I'm gonna roll, I'm gonna roll a D10 and see how many of those are ironic follows. Yeah, I immediately follow up with a way two personal post about my dad

with like pictures of me like looking pensive and like having just cried. I know the, I know the true, I know the true thing. How many people is he following? Oh yeah, it's the ratio. If there is any. I'm following 30,000 people every day I follow and follow very popular people.

Shins is absolutely team follow back. 60% of those are of course ironic accounts. The other people are like is this the Bozo who's Lazzaclindelson? You pay thier self in dishonorable. I'm getting in a huge Tristagram argument. While you're arguing, don't you do to their level. While you're arguing, Slubert tells you to put your phones back on, airplane mode, turn them off because we are about to land.

Okay, I queued up a bunch of bus. Good call, good call. Just let those blast out. Don't even check them. Honestly, just give it a whole day. Okay. So sluper comes on the PA to let you know that you'll be landing soon. Outside the port holes, you see the golden surface of Pollock's fast approaching. As you enter the atmosphere, the landscape comes into focus. Oh, I think we're crashing on an asteroid.

Lush fields of Pale Ambergrot. It's a very beautiful moon to be fair. Lush Fields of Pale Ambergrot dot the terrain like a patchwork quilt and bubbling champagne lakes nestled against gently rolling hills. You also notice a few clusters of the massive nulfrost crystals that the benefactor warned you about. They seem to catch the twilight glow of palos, the larger moon, and hold it tightly within their frame.

As you admire this bucolic splendor, the craft makes a landing, but you don't seem to be landing in an airport. It looks more like some sort of farm. Blaving wakes up. Disgusting. Are we aware yet? some sort of farm. Blavin wakes up, disgusting. Are we a revalued? No, clearly with some kind of mistake, there's workers and whatnot.

No, there seems to be the right place. Blavin flushes. Oh, there was a Justice Pan. That's the whole time. You know, once you're in there, you're just you're in there. You know how it is. Not at all. Were you reading or were you just going the whole time? You know once you're in there, you're just you're in there. You know how it is Were you reading or were you just going the whole time?

Or did you fall asleep? There's so many different states of going, you know We're just kind of like you get most of it out. I mean, there's just like one little Oh my god, they're all empty Love it. They're all empty. Oh, jeans you followed me on Tristagram. No, what I did I see you didn't follow back Well, you know, I try to keep a pretty small follower list. You've been unfollowed Fair enough I understand Levin does look out the window I didn't expect that they'd set us down on a property, but the benefactors to limitry is rarely wrong So I suppose we can investigate?

It isn't a, is it a vineyard or just a farm? It is in fact a vineyard. Oh, no, this is very bad. Slipper presses a button and a small stairway ejects from the ship. He waves at you, pulls out a thick book, which he puts over his eyes and instantly goes to sleep. Are you ready to de-plane?

Yeah. Yeah, I am. I have never put a seat belt on. I am going to a really quickly mask of many faces disguised myself to be someone else. Okay, wait, who do you disguise yourself as? Jen. Onus, you look radiant.

You look amazing, guys. Jen, so are you even bad? No, I was gonna ask why you're changing your appearance to kind of find out what's going on, but I understand. Please, if you have another spell on her, me, on her, me as well. Can we take pictures real quick? I'm just hanging out with my brother.

I take a, I pick, I save it for later. Wow. Now that might do well. That's kind of like a fun photo-dining brother. It's sort of. So as soon as you step off the plane everyone except Onyx feels very strange. Your entire body feels as light as a feather. Yes I forgot to mention that Pollox has much less gravity than Trinaville. So be sure to watch where you- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O You feel bad for Blavin, but excited for yourself because this low gravity means you'll all have jump cast on you for the entirety of today's session Will it will it be for me or is this like old hat to me so I don't actually have it?

You still have it. This is just like a side effect. I'm comfortable with it. I do several back handsprings. Whoa. I feel queasy. Give me a strength check. Oh, can I do an acrobatics? Yeah, do acrobatics. I'm vomiting again. 11. Just an 11? Yeah. So you backflip 20 feet, but I think you probably don't stick the landing.

Can I try to do it as him to try and out show him as himself? It's cruel, but yes. I will film it. Okay, I only got a 10. I will delete the video. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Okay, are you all ready to head up towards the farm? Towards the vineyard? Yes. Ah! You seem like you know this place. Do you want to share it with a group? Okay. I've got to come clean.

I have two brothers. You know, you both have each other. I have two brothers. I don't have a brother, full brothers. They have brothers, family is important. They're twins and they own this vineyard and there may have been a lot of pressure for me to join the family business,

but I found Crystal, it may have warped my mind, or perhaps it showed me who I really am. Jerry's still out. You chose rocks over wine. Yeah, coming from that perspective, it sounds pretty stupid to me. And it's finally blabbing, we agree on something.

Yes, blabbing goes up for a high five. I push him. You don't realize how stodgy, how much a vineyard can feel like a prison. Speaking of the vineyard, you approach it, and you see a beautiful large cottage surrounded on both sides by vast fields of grapefines. Behind the cottage is a small stable, but in front of it you see a large sign bearing a prancing moon-a-corn sigil. In Pallaxian moon-font, you see the phrase, Lumiere vineyards, proud makers of quality moon wine.

Oh, I do. That is you. That is your family. You're rich and you live in my little apartment? Um, does anyone have anything to hide a unicorn because Obsidian actually is also on the Leham? Ah! Is that the Obsidian voice? Ah! No!

Don't disgrace Obsidian that way! I love it! Wow! No! What a fun boy! Cannon! It is so cute! Ah What a fun boy. Canon. It is so cute Boy, I guess I just really quickly kind of like just trying to Moss up Obsidian so he looks a little bit okay

Are you still in disguise or are you coming? I am well, I'm coming clean to them, but I am still dressed as Jen's Lintel. Okay, cool. Until I see my brothers, then I'll decide if I want to. While speaking of your brothers, the front door of the cottage opens, and you see two moonfolk men clad in all black step out. You notice instantly that they are identical, safe for one detail. Instead of a right and left eye respectively,

these twins both have a large eye patch like crater. As they walk towards you, their two eyes watch you suspiciously. Hello? Can we help you? Yes, I am Jens Lindell, surely you've heard of me about deeply, and this is your twin, Isvel. Yes. I am also Jens Lindell.

This is my brother. We are triplets. Half Isabel. Yes. I am also, Jen Slandel. This is my brother. We are triplets. Half triplets. Half triplets. But then they'll triplets. I see. Not paternal. Not that paternal.

These are, of course, Onyx's brothers. You don't know their names yet, but they kind of speak in unison because they are twins and they're very close. I know it's a little hard to hear two voices coming from one person, but I think, you know, give it your best. Like use a little imagination. You got it. So yes, we are close today.

See, I always know all of those vineyards. I feel like you would enjoy my company. I look over at Alex. Don't fight, I shift out to Pionics. This is a family reunion. Oh, hello brothers. Oh, Monsigny Das. Yes.

Onyx is at you. It is me and Obsidian is here as well, so I ought to apologize for stealing away in the night. Oh, but you don't sit on. Embrace each other. They go on for the embrace. They miss you. It's time has passed.

Okay. Bygons are bygons. Okay, I received it. I was more worried about how mad they were at me. So, okay, then I embrace that. It's been so long. Nayaq weeps. You did not write a call.

I'm sorry. I didn't know how mad you would be at me for stealing obsidian! This is the water under the bridge. Bubbling water under the bridge. Why not under the bridge? Why not under the bridge? Now that we've made up, we can get a discount, huh? Of course, yes, yes, yes, absolutely. I'm so sorry I'm being rude and having a family reunion while the two of you stand completely

unfamiliar. This is jet and carbon. Yes I know. Jenslin Del Official. They are nice to meet you. Oh really? Laning into the brand. Is that your last name? Is that your surname?

What is your name? What is your name? You're following me. I'm sure. Surely. Oh you are the last big boy. You are the son of last. Yes, yes, yes.

Little baby last gig, as they call you on Zimim Page House. I strike him. He's very weak. I punch him. 20 to hit. 19. You hit him, obviously. You deck him. I have a negative one to hit. Uh, 19. You hit him, obviously. You deck him.

I have a negative one to string. Oh, come on. I think it's like, I'm damaged. I hit, um, I hit Jens. What? OK, 23 to hit. Yeah. Zero.

You go to hit Jens and Jets steps between you. It's like, there's been enough bad blood. Please, carbon stand up. He's faking. He's a big fake L. That's true. He used to play soccer. It's true. I learned it from Ziz, a football pitch. Yeah.

He's a technique I do. I was going to sue you for money. Well, I'll have you know, your sister has been gouging me. So I don't have any of that. You kept trying to contact you after you talked out of college, but you never responded like I said I did not know how stealing obsidian away from the dressage would fare with you We is a price pony of course, but you know we you are a price sister Oh, we miss you so We heard you ended up in vanilla but but you did not fall down at last.

We would have sent you money. You can follow her on Instagram. Yes, I'm actually kind of making my own way now. I appreciate that you would have helped me, but I've actually got a really successful Instagram. Oh, and the girls are partners where we don't have to pay a lot of bots on there.

So follow accounts aren't everything. I even have, well, we don't call them advertisers. We call them partners. Which, what is your, your twin Instagram account? They pull out their one phone and look at it together. It's a classical. Class, oh, it's a low-income class. Class, oh.

Yes, you so you have been following me. Absolutely. Also, it's pure classes you took in college. They paid off. Yes, PR in geology. that is what I studied. Yeah, my narrowing PR and the major in geology. Wonderful. Like so many before me. Oh, you know what, it's been too long.

It has. And why don't you come in, we will all share some chicken wine. Oh, yes, chicken wine, that's some delicious. Yes, of course, a chicken wine. Did you not tell them that our family makes chicken wine, that's uns delicious. Yes, of course, a chicken wine. Did you not tell them that our family makes chicken wine? I have to be honest, like I said, I did not know if I would be received with hugs or hits. So I did not mention you until this moment.

Well, yeah, slightly offended by this, of course. I know, and I'm sorry, that is my fault. You know what, you come inside, we will have a drink and we will discuss okay. How has the little moon been? Oh It is it is uh the other ups and downs as always the bright sides and dock sides as there is But come come come come come to the kitchen. Okay, you enter the house and walk into a large kitchen Doused with countryside charm Copper pots of all sizes,

dangle from hooks up of a stove lit with a glowing crystal fire. On a huge oak and table, you see two beautiful wine bottles with colorful candles melted into them, blavened clocks them and mouths, oh my god, with his mouth. Easy. You also see a jovial man smoking a pipe and studying a pile of papers. The man looks up at you in smiles, and as he does, ghastly blue smoke from his pipe frames his face in a way that seems too perfect to be an accident.

Well, bless my boots. Seems my little house calls, turn into a full blown party. You see, Jet and Carbon, seems if they've totally forgotten about this man until they return to the house and they quickly fill you in. Oh, apologies, Mosul.

Asister and their friends have dropped in for unexpected visits. Although I'm afraid the timing is quite poor. Hi, my name is on the extreme here. Who are you? Are you working with my brothers and on my vineyard? Well, working with your brothers is a way to put it in a manner of speaking. I'm a Mercurio Delerio.

Perhaps you've heard of me. I'm a businessman hailing from the floating city of Vena Doss. Perhaps you've used one of my many vending machines. I believe that I own several of your Butterfinger babies. All the Butterfinger babies. Yes. How does treating you love? Well, I've been working my way through the pack.

Yeah, they are, they will. They are a hearty orb if I do say so myself. Very thin. Eating the same bag for a month. They are quite rich, brother. Now don't disparage her. They will keep for a long distance. Do not worry about my babies.

And who you all companions to. To a long distance. Do not worry about my BBs. And who you all companions to? A dual brother. Not yet. Go to the other class. Not yet. Put it back on my schedule. So, Jett and Carbonne look very nervous as Mercurio is talking.

They are waiting for the moment to interject. Mercurio obviously has a bit of a presence to him. Command's a room. Mercurio sees Blavin with you and says, well, so I'm just curious. Well, what brings y'all to the little moon? Fact that you're traveling with an associate of the benefactor makes me think that this is a little mold

in a simple family reunion. Perhaps we do not know you well enough to offer such personal information. Oh, that's very fair. We have only just met. But I think you'll have plenty of time to get to know me. Uh, because, well, Jay, Karaban, why don't you feel the the the the fine folks in? Yes, I feel as though there is a puzzle piece you seem for me. Onyx Monticello Deloreo has made an offer to buy the winery. It's we've tried to keep it running after Mama and Papa died and the new left for this state school. Ah stupid baby dead parents. See how it feels. See how it feels. You know what? It is

honestly hurtful. Yes. It is honestly hurtful and I lashed out at you before. It was very rude of me. You may now strike me. Truly? Yes. Punch me. I see. My brother in sub of the consequence.

Yes, please hold my dueling glove. Oh, you have a dueling glove? Of course we have dueling gloves. You see, we did do, would not be gentlemanly otherwise. So yeah, they they followed a doing glove and they slapped you across the face. Very well, I respect them now. Very good. He kisses you on both cheeks.

And I see his with jealousy. Anyway, are you saying that my departure contributed to us not being able to keep the winery in the family? Well, it's been increasingly difficult, you know. Without Mama's druidic talents and Papa's visibly mastery and you know, you're just love of the moonacorns and your love for the land and the soil. We are barely staying afloat, you know. Papa and Mama, they would tinned to the plants and use their magic to make sure that they could grow and there's harsh crystalline conditions.

And you've got it at the well, but without them, we are barely staying afloat on it. But much of the lorio has made us a generous offer, so it's for the best. My eyes fell with tears and then I turn to the refrigerator and say Who wants shark good to me? Spored I will make us say bored. I would love some yes See you all have a weepish our computer Twitter. Yeah. Garbon, what if you just add some help, some extra help just to tie you over until you

could hire some more people? No, no, no, we cannot accept your help. You have your own life. That's what we learned all those years you were away. But what about a densathon? Would it save the vineyard? We've tried denser slands year after year and it does not. Nice stops stretching.

Jen, do we get to put his clothes back? We've tried Dance of Slans year after year, and it doesn't matter. No, it stops stretching. Jen, we get to put his clothes back. So, you know, let us not dwell on sad things. Please tell us, why are you here on the moon of all places? OK, well, I'll look at Mercurio and say it in a voice that Mercurio can't hear. I have a part of it, team, and we are looking for rare crystals. Very rare crystals. Very rare.

Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare.

Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare.

Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. Very rare. relics, that's a kept hidden from us and when they passed away we were given an ownership of them but there was one one thing we were not allowed to access one box we've been not allowed to open until you turn the 21. Papa is no de max. No no no we have found so they are wonderful. Okay okay. We had to sell a couple of them on an eBay unfortunately. Okay.

An ethereal bay as it's worth. Okay. In a theory, albay, as it were. Hahaha. Oh. It's a vintage. What is the box that you are not allowed to open? Well, yeah, let me go fetch it. Actually, I just, I also have a carbon to go fetch it. Come on!

He is jit. Go fetch the box. Of course. That boy needs to learn how to stand up for himself. You know, twins, they look so similar and yet the better dynamic. There is nothing wrong with being the submissive one. There is a quiet honor in it. Yes, clearly there's just one of your brothers.

It's just smarter, gutter-looking than the other one. And Jens is using Niac as a seat. I have my feet up on like a regular chair. using Niac as a seat. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Oh, I have my feet up on like a regular chair, but I'm sitting on him as a chair. Carbon looks over. Ah, you're doing the ottoman. It's a prosa ottoman. Very nice, very nice.

It is a great honor. Yeah, I like to switch it up every once in a while. Sometimes I use him as the chair and the chair as the ottoman. Occasionally, I am blessed by being the Ottoman. Absolutely, you say, Valeriety is the spice of life. Anyway, carbon gets down in table form. Jet puts the box on top of it.

This chest, I wink at Jet. This chest was left to us by Mama and Papa. Their will said not to open it until you turned 21. We tried to contact you at State School, but you never returned our calls. I went through from State School. You went through? Yes. I will not be getting a degree in geology.

You know, we should probably get into it at some point. Did something happen? You know, we should probably get into it at some point. It's something happened. I may have found a crystal that began to whisper in my subconscious and defect my actions. Onyx, what did Mama and Papa say about listening to Crystal Wispels? They said, if a crystal speaks to your subconscious, do not let it affect your actions. Tell it to you. Why do you have rules about these things? Yeah, J. Christophe.

Yeah, Christophe. And this is in the look around. We've been here for five minutes. We literally look at someone others and yourself for once. I really dig my heels into a Nyak as I get frustrated. Oh. Jatin Carbun seems stressed out about your life

in the way that only an older brother can be where they realize that they don't really have any control over what you do but they're trying their best. Um, I, I, I, again, I'm just trying to show them my trans-to-gram and like how well it's doing. Sting very well, you're true. Very good. I think they're like looking at it and kind of scrolling and being like,

NCC's a job you can do. Yes, like I said, I have partners. Partners, yes, and they give you money. Partners, as they give me money, some of them, it's more of a mutual. But you said that the money only covered a fraction of the rent, I guess I don't understand. I do not pay rent. She doesn't pay rent. She's a grifter, really. We have a chore wheel. Yes. Yes, we have one too. It is all carbon as you can see. Carbon knots.

Okay, so what is in this chest? Yes, we should open the chest. That is the one thing. You have not opened it, do you? No, we waited until you are here because we were not supposed to open it until Viva all 21 of age. You do kind to me. Should we go around back or something?

Yes, I want to do this other guy. Yes, I don't trust. I trust not this duplicitous man. Fair enough? I, I want to do this other guy. Yes, I don't trust. I trust not this duplicitous man. Fair enough? I don't want to get in your way. Yeah, definitely say it loud enough for him to hear. Just like, whatever. I do enjoy the phrase duplicitous.

I do like the way it rolls off my tongue. Mr. Blanford, why don't you join me? I would love to hear about the benefit as operations of Blake. Blavin kind of gives you a wing, says he don't you join me. I would love to hear about the been effect as operations of Blake. Blavin kind of gives you a wink so as he'll keep this person busy. If you all want to go, maybe to the parlor. Sweet. I also trust not Blavin, but away we go.

I think he's too drunk to do anything that bad. Yeah, he put away a lot of wine very quickly. He's very ready over there. He's a ready buddy. So, uh, Jett and Carbonne lead you to a huge parlor. It's grand juror has been tarnished by age, but even under layers of dust and misuse, there's no mistaking the extravagance and luxury that this room once contained.

Onyx, uh, give me a personal history role. Ah, what do I have to do it? Just history. Well, that would be plus zero, but I got the 19! 19! Oh boy. Onyx, for a moment you remember that night. All the cabinets and drawers in this room were flung open.

Discarded silverware shined in the moonlight, and you stepped over broken pieces of China as you cried out for your parents. You remember seeing footprints shining with moon dust. They led downstairs into the wine cellar, but you were afraid to follow them. All of a sudden, for a moment you hear another voice. And then all of a sudden you're back in the present. I pissed myself. Did something happen? Where did you go?

There's a bathroom here, certainly. On the XUF made it, but you had too much chicken wine. What happened? Where did you go? There's a bathroom here, certainly. On the XU of Made It Ribble, have you had too much chicken wife? I just was remembering what happened. We were remembering tonight. I was remembering tonight. You must forgive our parents, the murder of Jensis Verri, a state many years ago when she was but a child.

We were slightly older but it still haunts us all. But we make do and we make wine. As the tiny little pillow says. Make do, make wine. It's really difficult. Also, the one helped you make do. See, that is what the pillow says on the other side. If you flip it over, it's very funny actually.

Do you want to open this box? Yeah. Okay. Do I know the name of this voice I just heard? You've heard it before. I've heard it, so I recognize the voice, but I don't like, do I associate it with a face or just a voice? No.

The last time you heard this voice, you prayed to your crystal. Wow. So I think by process of elimination, you can assume that, you prayed to your crystal. Wow. So I think by process of elimination, you can assume that it has something to do with your crystal shard, the flail that you use to summon your packed weapon. Oh, dear. Okay, so who wants to solve a puzzle? Ah!

Me. Yes. Okay, so inside the box, you see five different colored light bulbs and a note addressed to Onyx, Jit and Carban. Jit, Carban and Sweet Onyx. Now that you are all out of age, it is time you inherited the Lumia estate in full. In addition to the winery, there are several relics and artifacts that now fall to your care.

But for both their safety and yours, we have hidden them away to find them. Just remember that the key is in your name. The mayor. Everyone, take all the lights out of the light bulbs. They've hidden keys. You're just going to take out those light bulbs? No, I was being rash. There's five bulbs.

Five bulbs. Are they different colors? They're all different colors. Oh, what color? Why? How many letters are in your name? Only four. Perfect.

No, well, annex. No, well, annex would be black. Jet would be black. Yeah. Carb and would be black. Jett would be black. Yeah. Carbone would be black. Is there a black one? There is a black one. Ah. There's a black one.

Ah. Ah, a black light. Do we unscrew it or do we try to hold something up to it? Let's use it. Is there like a note? There's no note. Okay. Yeah, let's try and plug it in and use it like a black light.

Okay. You don't see any bulbs in this room. There's just a big chandelier So you need to find a room where that bulb would fit. Okay, so we look yeah We look for a room where we could fit the black light. Okay, do you want to ask Jettin Carbon? Which room that might be sure okay. Yeah, so Jettin Carbon Inspects the the black light bulb and they say ah this is a this is one of the boats we use for this cellar I say, ah, this is one of the bulbs we use for the cellar. They are a low wattage bulb, which is that, you know,

preserves the integrity of the wine. Last time you looked down the cellar stairs, you urinated in your room. Yes, someone else might want to lead the way. Niac pisses himself. What reason could it find a way to do it? Everyone here, because you had to go and it seems socially acceptable. Suit that law. Let's me get you some breaches.

You know what? Was it the tea, be honest? If we're stuck. Jen's gets on a very brave face and I say, don't worry everyone, I'll handle it. And then I take out keychain. And then I have to realize it. Keychain will lead the way.

I will lead the way. Hello, thank you for sawing me. Why are we on the moon? More walking keychain. There's just some wine down there. We don't know. And then I won't get everyone else. Yes, sir.

Jens, Lindell, official. That y'all. OK. Jens immediately feels super bad. There might be a murderer down there or something, so just be on the lookout. Okay, I will do it. Best friend, team follow back. Team follow back.

Someone follows back here, and I look at, I don't know. He's not your best friend, you two. You're all my best friends, even you two. Why are there two of you? Oh, my goodness, did you go through a time loop as well? Looks at Jettincarbon. They are my twin brothers. Oh, hello. It is nice to meet you. This is G-Chain. This is G-Chain. He is kind of um, well another roommate. I live in the bathroom. Doesn't need to live in the bathroom, but he does.

I like it in there. I sing in the shower even when the shower is not running. He's loud singing all night. Beautiful. A monotone baby. A love check. Take me on down to the love, shack baby. Beautiful.

How many years? What level did you summon, Keychain Out? How many spell slots? Interesting. Oh, I What level did you summon Keychain at? How many spells? Oh, interesting. Oh, I have to use my own spell slots to do it. You know what? Let's just do, actually, I got enough second levels. I'll do them at a second level.

Okay, so he's the second level duo drone now. Great. Okay, so Keychain's leading the way. Great. Wonderful. This is a light bulb that we need to plug in. Keychain puts in in his mouth Uncle Uncle Fester style, and it lights up. That's actually kind of hilarious.

Yeah. Is it pretty good goof, maybe? Maybe we could just have Keychain go around the basement. Yeah, let's go down to the basement. Is it emitting a black light right now? Yes. Is it having a black light effect? Can we see?

Does Jen's have dandruff? Uh, for it. Can I can I roll to hide the fact that I have dandruff roll to see if you have dandruff? Constitution maybe. Oh, no. Okay. I would like if I do have dandruff, then I would like to try to hide it with my whole quickly Watch your brother. Oh, God. I got a seven on my constitution But I would like to I guess light a hand slate of hand 17 I would like to quickly just like brush it off of me and pretend that I just do like a flourishing dance Oh beautiful it is snowing blow it up his shoulders He has a wind or wanderling. Wow, there's a lot of dust in here. It is for me, brother.

No, it's okay, it's just dusting in here. This is you, this is your dendruff. It's not dandruff, it's dust. There's no reason to follow it back to who it might be. We keep Zivine Zella pretty clean, that's not Zinxin would be dust here. You know, it gets in there. You don't see it, and then I'd gust a wind comes. Let's go.

Okay. You descend into the wine cellar and are greeted both in mind and body by an unsettling chill. Light bulbs dangle from the packed earth and ceiling, shining their dim light on several rows of Lumiere vineyard's famous Pollux de Poulet. Or as you better know it, chicken wine. This is the chicken wine. I snag a couple bottles to bring back. Shit, it's like you do not need to steal from us.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that you would catch me. I'm actually need to say, old habit, living the urchin lifestyle you have lived. I also unload all the sharkooti rest all. I'm so sorry. So be not stealing, we I stole. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm something. Okay, that sounds nice. Okay, so you've got the black light out. Yeah. Great. You turn off the light in the room. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wonderful. The black light bathes the room in a pernicious purple glow.

As your eyes adjust, you notice that some of the bottles in this room appear to have glowing markings on them. I go for the skin. I bet you'd expect them. Investigate the markings. Investigate the markings. Investigate the markings. Upon closer inspection you notice that hidden amongst the red chicken wine are five bottles

of a special limited edition white wine called the Golden Presence. These bottles appear to only be served here at the vineyard. The bottles also have numbers written on them in an invisible ink, one through five. What do you do? Perhaps we should collect them and drink them in the order. Should we crack one? I want to look at the like cork on the, I guess I'll inspect the first one. I see if there's anything special about it or if it's just looks like a nice bottle of wine. Is there a key floating around in any of them?

No, they're just normal bottles of wine. Okay, you can crack one if you want. Sweet, this is for special occasions and I think this reunion is obviously special. Yes. Jen's already like, has it like half open. But it's just like, yeah, let's have the not chicken wine, right? I'm not going to pop it off. Thank you, but I am straight edge.

Oh! When did you become straight edge? Always. I have seen you puke in my toilet. Nayak, have a drink of this. It's from his weak stomach. I don't trust it. When I am singing my songs in the bathtub,

you're often puke alongside me. I think it's acid refox. That must be my brother. We look very much alike. Ah, that, oh, half alike. Practically identical. I guess poor each person a little glass, like a little taste. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe a taste of it. A little taste. Let's just have the tiniest little taste and then see if any ideas come to us. I don't know like that. I guess let's sniff it. I would like to sniff it. Yeah, I'll sniff it. What am I getting hints of? You get hints of I would say spring apple, maybe like a cool stream, very light, very summery, you know, kind of a honey glaze to it almost,

but not overly sweet. Is there like an apple orchard on the property at all? Next to a stream. Okay, there goes that. Take a sip of it, I guess. Okay, you take a sip. Oh, just me? Okay, we can do it same time. Okay, ready?

Okay. Three. I did it. You take a sip. It's just good ass wine. Cool. Just a good ass wine wine. I'll have some wine too. Crack it. You take a sip. It's just good as wine. Cool. Just a good as wine. I'll have some wine too. Crack it. Yeah, everyone cheers. You know, this is a nice reunion moment. What about, okay, if I take the bottle and I look, you know how you can like see through the bottle to the other side of the label? Is anything written there? No, but that would have been a really good puzzle. Damn.

Okay. I'll say that for next time. Yeah'm sorry. Uh, jet looks around like perhaps we should investigate the room a little more. Okay. Is there any way that a wine bottle could be used as a key? I think perhaps that's as valid possible. Perhaps we should look for a key hole. Is it? Yeah.

Could take a wine bottle. Does it, is there a shape? Can I see the shape to it? Like does it look like there's any sort of edging like you would see on a key? No, it's just a normal bottle. Are there missing bottles anywhere in any of the racks? Can we look through there?

Yes. You need to be placed. Oh. Let's try that. In the corner of the room, there is an empty rack on a small wall recessed slightly. How many empty slots are there? Five slots, baby.

Okay. Let's place the fancy bottles there. Okay. One, two, three, four, five. I was thinking one, five, three, two, and then one again. Yes. Great idea, Onyx. So I just switched them winter back and started. Yeah, it works. The way the Gens does it, obviously. Onyx, it works. Yes. You were brilliant it, obviously. Oh, that's so good. Yes, you're brilliant. I don't do. All of the things you all do are sensible.

You place the bottles in the correct order on the rack. Suddenly, you hear a rumbling as the entire back wall turns to reveal a secret chamber. The first thing you notice about this room is the shattered bottle on the ground. You are also quite shocked to see that hanging above you is an intricate sculpture of the sinner's mark. Or at least something that looks like the sinner's mark.

Instead of the straight line drawn through the eyes, this mark features an intricate woven pattern that encircles the eyes, almost like a strand of DNA connecting the three of them. In addition to this shocking accent piece you see a small desk with a hastily written letter and a small rack containing large magnum size bottle similar to the one shattered on the ground. Okay, it's official. Mama and Papa were illuminati. Or something bad happened to the... maybe we should read this uh... Little letter? Of course. I hand it to Nyak to read. You honor me. And I honor my brother. I take it and I read it.

Consistency. Shit, carbon, Onyx, my sweet little chickens. If you're reading this, say, I'm not enemies have come for what was hidden here. I fear mine and Papa's research into the God's star virus has drawn too much attention. So I won't give any specifics. But if you want to find the crystal, you must follow the herd.

Love for always. Grafite et basselle toi. Follow the herd. Why do you have... What disease were they trying to cure? Do I know anything about the God-style virus? I don't think any of you have heard of this virus before. I have not heard of this.

Yeah. Maybe it's whatever makes Niac so sick all the time. Perhaps I am dying. I think it's quite possible. Nyak wretches. She said he's just hot-burned. Or perhaps IBS. Keychain pretends to know that the God's Dolvaris is

act cool but does not know what he is. They tell us more keychain. Very good keychain. It is when you go to the bathroom a lot like Nyak does. Can you cure me, Keetan? I can take you to a robot doctor. I guess you would call it an auto mechanic. But you know what, I heard you actually get it from having too many pictures taken of you

and posted on the cricketing event. Give me your phone on it. As we're saying this, I'm actually taking a picture of Nia holding the chicken line for my Instagram. Oh! Hashtag sponsored. Hashtag ad. So, we need to, I guess I'll turn to the brum

and onyx, including Onyx's brothers. Does this mention of the herd mean anything to you? Are there any, I mean, this is a winery. Yeah, we have mostly heard of a unicorns Well, there was a herd of moonicorns that lived here a long ago but after our parents with the sisters they left the herd returns to the wild Do you know where in the wild they would be we could investigate this table It has been a long time since

they were there, but we could see if any of you are perhaps here, it's Raka or some sort of an email, explain. I'm somewhat a brother, brother, yes, I pull Naya at the side, this is a huge opportunity for us to bond. What's gonna happen is you are going to tell me what you sense and then I will report it to everyone else. Mack is not infuriously and crying a lot. I'm really proud of you. Yes, I am a master tracker. It is true, he is the master tracker.

Oh, you, you look like Molleve, you know, a Venturilequistor, perhaps a singer, he does it all. I believe he's actually a stripper. You do have a bit of a hyperterest. What I've gathered. Could you give us a demonstration? Yes, I bust out the old Hiddendix sort of dance. It's crazy. That's 20 laughs.

Oh! I don't want to be so good at that. I'm also good at trekking. I would like to incorporate the wine. Almost do, like I end it with like the flash dance, like pulling the thing where the water comes down in the chair, but it's up with the wine.

Like the nice bottle, the bottle number one. I went like that Kim Kardashian, it's balancing on her butt. Yeah. You are amazing. Would you like to be the sponsor of Chicken Wine? You wanna be partners. Actually, can I take a video of what you just did?

Jen holds back such a huge tear. I mean, I suppose if you what would tag me. Amazing. This is such good content, such good advertisement, a partnership by me. So you take a video of him doing this amazing wine bottle display of the chicken wines. We got a chicken

wine partnership going. Should we do another Instagram roll? I think they got wine in the house. Oh, so I'm rolling to... Yeah. And since I'll let you use that Nat20 as an advantage roll. Okay, advantage. I only got a 13. A thousand. Did you add your charisma to that? Yeah. That's a solid post. Okay. Honestly, it underperformed a little bit. Yeah, I do notice that. I also accidentally tagged Jen's Lindell Comedy.

That's a funny account. I write it. I like comment with my real thing and it just gets buried under other comments. Okay, do you want to roll the D100? Damn. Six. Six? Okay. Why did you do bad on my one?

Oh no! It is not your fault, brother. It's the frequency of what she's posting. Yes, it's just saturating your tie-bite. Brother, she shames herself. Thank you. What happened? You only get 60 new followers.

They still not perform well for me. Hi, X, do you think you could do that? You have quite a long way. What? I really quickly post the picture of Niaque with the chicken wine. Just a whole thing. Just to see how it does better. You're gonna do a little A, B testing?

Yeah. All right. Give me one more roll. And then I think you are reaching your saturation points. Yeah, I know, I know. 16. Oh no. That's a great post.

That's a really good post. Sometimes the dice just tell a story, you know? Naya comments, if you like this post, follow Jensley Delofficial. Oh! It's crushing. You know, it's, we spent too much time on our phones. Remember when we used to hang out and have, let's go see where the monocontes are. We let's live, we're in the country people. We're here. We're out in this beautiful farmland, which as you all remember when we showed up I was very excited to be here. We're finally out. We're getting dragged in the comments. I'm sorry. I don't need out. And you know, who's who's reading the comments? We're out in the country.

I'll report these people. They're being quite nasty, brother. Thank you. Thank you, but it doesn't. I'm gonna take a dueleling glove on every single one. Everyone, no. I'm doing my golf. You know what? I'm okay. New rule gang on vacation. No phones.

All right. I take everyone's phone. I have braces on it. This is bad, this is bad. Keachane is looking at Jethan Carvin's phone and they're all laughing hilariously at Jinsland Del Comedy. I like his observations about how men have been and are different.

He's not funny. It's great. This one is a skit about him at the grocery store. Of course, he does little skits. Do you want to go to the stable? Keachane, you're not allowed to have a phone either I Am a phone I swipe it all right. We go to the stable. Okay, so you were out in nature now everyone Enjoy yourselves live you're right. This is nice. I put my armor on my brother. You still have your phone No, you're still reading all the comments. I'm a

Little hurt. I won't lie. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to

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promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, Go team pants and to the wild. Oh, and she gave me another personal history role. Eight. Eight. You've blocked out this memory.

Where did they go? For whatever reason, all you can recall is the sound of horse's name very loudly. And you feel too afraid to go into the stable. Gah! This place is haunted by ghosts. Do you console Obsidian? They're clearly fredding as well. Yes, I console Obsidian the only way I know how food I make Obsidian a small shark good during.

Is it horse appropriate? No. Eat up, young one. Eat your feelings. How does a Psydian feel about the snack? Ah! I hate it. Ever since we got to the moon, you sound so fucking awful.

No, no. So as you get closer to the stable, the back of your heart you hear a thick raspy laugh one more time. Are you ready to go in? Yeah, that's happening. So it's a pretty normal stable. There doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary here. The trail's gone pretty cold. Too cold, I would say, for anyone but someone trained in the arts of tracking. Ah, yes.

Nah, heck, nah, heck. Yes, brother. See what we have. Yes, look, you'll imagine. Yes, of course. I start walking around. Okay, sweet. Nah, yeah, do you want to try and investigate this room

using some of your ranger abilities? Yes. So I'm going to tabletop myself and ask my brother to sit upon me. I do whisper to him. I do like he's a hound. I walk him and I say, I'm going to give you some bardic inspiration so you can add a d8. And I say, good doggy.

Good job. You know as funny is you probably should use that bardic inspiration to help your post perform. We're not doing phones. All right, so I'm going to investigate. Great. You're like a survival check? Yeah, survival check, which I get advantage on.

Yeah, all right. Cool. Oh, and all right. Cool. Oh, and I added D8. So that's like a 23 or 23. 23. Hell yeah. All right, so you are sniffing around and you come upon a discarded brush

that was used to like brush the mains of these beautiful majestic creatures. So I'm sniffing around and I'm walking and my brother's sort of riding me like I'm a moonicorn. Yeah, like a mastiff. Ah. Obsidian looks at this so judgmentally.

Look away. What? I found this brush. This is brush. Oh, Jette looks at the brush. She's like a single strand of silvery municorn hair. Perhaps you could use this to track. I don't know why you're waving it in front of my face.

My brother is the genius. But I'm a stick. Sometimes I feel like I am the carbon. I am now going to use something called primival awareness. Whoa. That's that. I use a spell slot to sense certain creatures within one to six miles. I believe it's something like that. Yeah, give it a go. Oh, okay.

Is it just an automatic thing? Or do you get to like just take some action and it's a spell? Or uses a spell slot. Yeah, you get a faint sense of the moonicorns. I point my nose like a pointer dog. This way, everyone. She has kind of a smacks carbon and says, what are you inhibited for me? All right, cool. So we're tracking. Do you want to let Blavin know that you're going on an adventure?

I would text him, but someone took my phone. Let's pop our heads in. Okay. It's also fine if you take the phones because you pay for all our bills. I pay for your bills. You stole my credit card. I'm out of family plan. You cheated.

You added yourself to my plan? Yes. We maxed out the data as well, brother. Oh, I used up all my data, watching TikTok. You? You are on it? All right, we're gonna go tell Blavin. You come back into the house,

Blavin and Mercurio are just yuking it up. Oh, they are having a good time. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, it's very funny. You gotta give me the URL for this Blavin blog. I want to take it. Niaqa side. Niaq, I trust your instincts. Do you not trust Blavin? I think Blavin is a lush and he annoys me. Okay. But do you think he is? I guess I am wondering if we should tell him or if we should perhaps leave him. I think Blavin is a doofus, but I don't think he's evil.

I do think that I do not trust the nature of this other gentleman, and I don't trust the doofus to not tell him what we're doing. Okay, so we will lie then. I suppose we should lie to Plavin until the nature of our other friend is revealed. Thank you. Okay, Naya got a great idea that maybe we don't entirely be straightforward with Plavin.

Oh, you want to just lie to someone? Yeah, that's fine, I do it all the time. Okay, all right, we're going to do that. Yeah, I just spoke my head in. We're going out for a little walk. They're showing us the vineyards. Okay. Oh, wait, wait, wait, but before you go, before you go. I'm so natural to my brother. I just wanted to let you know,

those nulfrost clusters you've seen all around, emit powerful anti-magic fields. Your spells should be fine, but you won't be able to communicate, and also you're going to have trouble using your calling coins, so you won't be able to warp back to me. So just be aware of that

that you'll have to hoof it back. Okay. Huff it, literally. Perhaps we can find more unicorns. Niac, we are trying to be discrete. I went out whispering. That's true, you always are. I can often not be heard.

Hey, Blavin, tell me again about your 13th wife. Oh, yes, this is a good story. Oh, why? Blavin, remember, water, water. There we go. Blavin takes a water and then he pours like a little instant wine powder into it and then wakes it you.

Better than anything. We're on a vineyard. Let's start going to the motorcoids. Okay, great. So the ways this is gonna work is you are going to be tracking and Nyak you're gonna take the lead here and I'm going to make you do a nature or survival role whatever your most proficient in Survival sweet. So did you actually use a d8 before when you did your role? Oh, no, but I like had so you have inspiration so you can use it whenever you want Oh great, so if you do bad use it and you throw the d8. Oh, no, but I like had. So you have inspiration so you can use it whenever you want.

Oh great. So if you do bad use it. So we then you just roll the DA. Okay, cool. 21. So you set out into the rustic wilderness of Pollocks and as you walk you feel the strong lunar glare of palos, the bigger moon bearing down on you. You said you got a 21. Yes. That's very good. Had you done poorly, you might have gotten moon madness. Oh. Wow. And I already am dying for this. That's true.

But you're also straight edge, though. That's probably why. So you got a 21. Yeah. So clear-headed. That's great. You're able to track the moonicorns pretty much without fail. I've learned their call. They sound so much better. Obsidian turns his head

when you do that call. We sound exactly like. Oh god, this is tragic. Scydian spins around in the circle. A smear campaign. After hours of tracking, you finally lay eyes on the hurt, grazing next to a huge mound of moon soil. Unlike obsidian, these moon accordance are all full-sized. Their hooves and horns glitter like diamonds, and their proud mains shimmer in the moonlight. I draw my bow. Yes, looks like we'll have to take them out.

The moon accordance all perc up. What do you actually do? I would never. Some of the moon accordance kneel near the champagne spring. While others feast on the nearby pale amber plant you saw from the sky. Upon closer inspection you realize it isn't a planet all, but thin shoots of string cheese. The entire planet is one big charcuterie board. NOOOOO!

Okay, so you're kind of, I think you're probably in a grove of string cheese, like watching the moonicorns as they're grazing and drinking from the spring next to this big hill. I want to do a pound on the cheese. Yeah, me too. I'm not going to eat ground cheese. I don't even respond to my mouth is so full. I'm gonna be lactose intolerant. That's true, Nyaik.

Big careful. I have a really wet belt. We've already blavin' already blew up the bathroom on the way. On the way here, I don't need you doing it on the way home. If I act, why not just take like an antacid or lactate or... Too late now. It's absolutely time for you to do a constitution role. Oh no.

No. 15. You hold it together. Okay. Thought I was gonna have to use my inspiration. So we're supposed to follow the herd. Should we check out what's going on with this river? It's more of a pond. A pond. It's like a spring. Okay, let's walk over to the spring. Yeah, cool. We're letting Niaq lead the way. You walk over to the spring? Yeah. Very, very stealthily. One big moonicorn perks up its head and kind of lets out a big strong like,

and all the other moonicorns flee. This one looks at you. Do you want to give me a perception check on this moon accord? Nat one baby. Really? Yes. Holy shit. You look at this moon accord. I don't want to say a horse is jacked, but it looks good. It's like a rippling horse.

Like a big old stallion. It's a destrier. Yeah, it's a full on stallion. It's main is luscious and white. It's fur. It's just like jet black. And on a torn, you see a jagged crystal. The fourth genaract crystal is this moonicorn.

Oh, I guess I um, I curtsy. Good afternoon. I see your horn is adorned. The moonicorn nods and then looks over at Obsidian and goes, I have nods. Obsidian returns the... Obsidian, what is this new voice? God you sound so awful. That's not. You're the obsidian returns the... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I did bad. 10. 24. 24. How did you get last time that?

With a 24, Niaq, you go to try and speak with this moonicorn, but before you can, you notice something. The giant mound near the lake starts to twist and shift. You realize a moment too soon that it wasn't amounted all but a huge piece of moon soil under which was hiding an enormous moon giant. He throws off the sod and climbs to his feet. You see now that he has the same craterous face as Onyx but only much grayer and more craggy. In one hand he holds a massive stale baguette

and in his other hand he holds a freshly lit cigarette from which he takes a massive drag before beginning to speak. Stay away as soon as he's municons first! You cannot have any! I'm going to put them all in a horse, casulé! Or as I call it, a nene-ne casulé! Ho ho ho ho ho! You shall not eat these beautiful beasts! I challenge you to a three on one duel, fumbling with my gloves. I guess the hex wig curse on it. Everybody roll initiative. Man, I'm throwing like dog shit. What do you want to get?

15. A9. 9. Why don't you do a roll off real quick? 18, great. 10. Perfect. Okay. Oh, keychains out, huh?

Yes. Let's roll for keychain. Keychain got an eight, sorry bud. I'm assuming that my hexblade curse did not happen before initiative. Okay, so I might not even do that. Okay, all right. We are in initiative.

This big giant, whose name is Jean? A sheen. Aizu. And I think they're just gonna get right down to it. They're going to use their giant stale baguette like a club and try and smash Who's the most offensive of you all? I have my third down the glove for me and challenge has a challenge of two, three on one duel. Yep, all right, Jens, sorry buddy, that makes sense. Okay, 20 hits.

Alrighty, oh boy. Your donkel had a bad day at work, so he's trying to be a little meaner. That's 13 damage. Yikes. Oh, and they make two attacks, wonderful. So, with their second attack, they're gonna take a big drag on their cigarette, and they're going to flick it at you, disgusting.

And of course, this cigarette is bolder-sized, so... I'm more disgusted by the, uh, stale bread. Fies from fresh bread. You're on the whole weird planet. Surely there's good bread here. My teeth are giant rocks. I don't need to worry about stale bread. All bread is bread to me. I have a pillow that says that. Does 14 hit. It does not. Oh there you go. You definitely dodged the giant cigarette. Ha ha. Can you give that back to me? There's still one drag left! I stomp it out. I'll tell you!

You have inserted my on the... I'm gonna leave it here. Ugh! Niac! That's your turn. Sweet! I am going to draw my bow and cast Hale of Thorns. Whoa!

Ooh! You are... Ranger! I have never learned spells before. This is fucking hard! Ooh! You're a d-woth. Ranger! I have never learned spells before. This is fucking hard. We're all learning. I think that's the whole point of Trinneville. Yeah.

So if I hit a creature with a ranged weapon, this spell creates a reign of thorns that's spread from my ranged weapon or my ammunition. So in addition to the normal effect of the attack, the target of the attack, and each creature within five feet of it must make a dexterity saving throw. Creature takes one d10 piercing damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one.

Cool, so I take normal damage and then I roll dex. Yes. Great. Alright, once you're rolling, see if you hit me. 15. That hits. Alrighty. Do that.

Tid me. We got arrows. Also remember, you still got that bar against Prussian you can use it if you fail an attack is rude So that is 12 damage from my arrow okay, and I got to make a deck save. Yes What I got to do this at second level so if you fail I rolled 2d 10 fuck all right So I got to be 13 on decks minus one to big boy

oh he does not uh there's a three for my my save so yes thorns rain down upon ol' Jean sweet so let's say I shot the arrows straight into the air and everybody thought that I was a bad shot. I'm gonna punch a arrow spell on his head. I immediately just go again on my axe so hard. What do you do? He's right and then I pretend that I never said it as soon as they hit. I just didn't know it. And I pretend I never heard it.

Because it hurt me too much. What are you, whoo, why are you, I forgot to mention I love you too brother. Gene is wearing a beret so all of these are gonna pierce right through it. Oh. There's another 13 damage. Drew and his stupid little hat.

So I quietly had my hat. That's a 25 damage total. Ooh boy. Oh, and you know what, I get to take a second attack. Oh yeah, sir. Five now, level five. Do it up, draw another arrow. Net 20.

Oh! I expect day. Wow, I'm so glad I'm not puking. from net 20. Oh! I expect day. Wow. Jesus, so glad I'm not puking. You are kind of, I think that you should probably be the brother that sits on the other brother now. It must be the cheese. Perhaps you can be an ottoman someday, right?

Yeah. I just quietly creep my teeth. How much damage do you do to my guy? Just another eight. Just another eight? Yes. He'll take it. He'll take it. He'll take it.

Ugh! You've ruined my beret! You don't look good. Your beret looks stupid, whereas my beret, my beret looks right. Mine. You should get... You're wearing a beret? Yes. You should get an enamel pin to put in your beret.

It'd be so cute. That would be very fetching. I agree. Mine is made of several canvas bags. Yes, it's disgusting. I'm gonna do it, but not because you told me to. Ha ha ha ha ha. Do it. I'm depressuring you.

Maybe if you do it, put a picture of you. Now's your turn, so you can know what you want. James won't out comment me. Ha ha ha ha. It's not me. No phones. It's your turn, so you can know what you want. James, don't comment me. It's not me. No phones. It's a no-phone weekend, everyone. Getting us agreed.

Yes, exactly. This guy knows I defensive flourish him. So I will expand a bardic inspiration to cause my weapon to deal extra damage on a target I hit. So I actually got it declared afterwards. Oh, OK. But 24 to hit. 24, that hits. Okay, sweet

Then I'm gonna use a bardic inspiration to do some extra damage Nice work 11 damage, okay, and then I'm going to attack with my off-hands. Oh Sweet 25 to hit I just rolled 19 and a 19. That's hidey's nice It's shitty, but it hitty. I love hidey's and then I do Eight damage on my second hit. Okay, great This giant does not like you very much. Oh, and my my AC goes up to 19 Temporarily because I get my Bartikens breathe your beret glows within a theory of light Because I get my Bartik inspiration your beret glows within a theory of light

The gods have chosen me as the beret where you must dress me. I would stand down It is a very tempting offer, but I would rather eat big horses Make a cassule and they will put you in it. You look like maybe some tasty elephant bread. Yeah, I do look tasty. You do look tasty, I do. I do, I do. I blush. I don't want you to encourage you to eat these oranges, but wouldn't they make more sense in a goulash? Mm.

Mm. Oh. Ha. We will exchange recipes when I am dead. OK. Ah. Onyx, that's your turn. OK.

Well, first off, I have taken the invocation Thirsting Blade, so I now have two attacks. So for my first attack, it does a 18 hit. It does. J-yo. This thing is just kind of like, made of dirt. U. That is going to be a 13, I'm going to branding smite. Nice.

Whoa. Which is another 3d6, so 13. 3d6? Only 5 more, but okay. So 18 damage total. 18 damage and now for my second attack. Jesus Christ. Kill dunkels monster.

16. 16 hits. For another 14. 16. 16 hits. For another 14. Okay. Hexblade bitch. This giant is looking slightly upset at you. It's definitely hurt. Some of it's like rocky bits are kind of crumbling off.

It looks like it's crying, but it's catching in the craters on its face. I'm furiously using hand sanitizer. Mm-hmm. And that brings us to Keychains turn. So Keychain is going to try something new. Instead of just punching, they open their mouth super wide, and an arrow shoots out.

Jellis much. I am amulating Niaq. He taught me how to puke. Niaq is sassy and bad all. Fomiting and arrows. Yeah, Keychain makes me upset because of his relationship with Jens. Oh, it just hits.

All right. That's six damage. Nice work, Keychain. Let's take a second attack, bud. Two attacks for the robot. That's only seven. Keychain prepares a second bolt, a second throat bolt, but it misses and actually pierces the giant's ear

and looks really cool. Oh, that is tasteful. Ding, ding, ding, ding, thank you. I start using my brother's hand sanitizer to sterilize his ear. Ah, yes, the word, quickly word bubble. Quickly, here's my ear to sterilize his ear. Get the word quickly. Quickly. Here's my ear. Here's my ear right now.

I need to look better with an ear. With an arrow. Ow. Ow. I slipped. I'm sorry. He looks bad on you. He went entirely through the lobe.

Well, you've just got your lobe looks like a snake's tongue now. You're going to talk about this later. Just sit and rest. Get on all fours. Okay, it's back around to the giant's turn. They just wanted to eat some dang horses, but y'all have made their day a lot more complicated. So as a free action on their turn, they're going to summon two buddies. They say, yeah, Montclair, Alonzi! They scream and from two smaller little mounds, you see two tiny giants, which I guess

would just be a normal size person. Ah, dudes. Look, just a couple of people in the monster manual they're referring to as dooders. Dooders. But what these actually are, you look at them closely and you realize that their faces are configured in a way that they look like they're wearing face paint. It's actually just like darker rocks and lighter rocks,

but it looks like they have black teardrops on their eyes. Oh. The moon giant or something. I am quick, that do me. Yes, I did an arrow and looked at all the way. That's a thick and poke time. Mimians? Mimians? Oh, minions! So the Mungiants summons these two Mimians, and they're going to move on the Mungiants turn. But actually, they were both really excited, they had cool routines prepared. The Moon Giant just grabs one of them

and eats it in one gulp and regain- Oh, because there's some health back. 31 health. Julie, Krill, I would never treat my employees that way. As a woman who owns a business. I go up and say, you are pretty cruel to me when we were partners. So I will say this is about how I felt.

When were we partners? When you posted my video and then you did that. No, I partner with the brand. You were the model.. Oh right. And that was your why are you going in a So the mini post didn't perform Dude guys, no phone. Why can't talk about we can't we can't talk about Yes, it's making me irritable all around not just the bells. We cannot talk about it. It's making me irritable all around. Not just the bells. Can I talk about phones? I am a phone. Please talk about me. You have new text messages. It is from your landlord. Okay, so as a bonus action, the Nimmian is

going to use a cube of force on the moon giant. And I've hacked this a little bit, but basically what's gonna work is I'm gonna roll a D6 and depending upon what I roll, that's how powerful the barrier is gonna be. And this is essentially going to be an invisible cube that is going to surround the moon giant. Ah, like some kind of barrier to like prevent him

from getting hit. Yeah, uh, living matter can't pass through the barrier. I rolled a three. So, but can an arrow pass through? It says living matter, so I think yes, but an arrow is made of wood, but the metal would pass through. So I think you're fine, but you can't get up on wood from the arrow.

But the rest of us though. I should also mention for funzies that you do have jump applied to you so if you want to do any acrobatic stuff. Oh, so it's a barrier, but maybe like the top is open? No, it's a barrier that's all around him. No living matter can get inside of the moon giant now,

but just, you know, if you wanted to use acrobatic to incorporate that because it's fun to moon battle Okay, so that's the bonus action and now the Mimian is going to attack Onyx Okay, bring it on come on. I think the Mimian is confused about the other two people But like you they can identify with so they're going to use invisible sword Okay, and they're going to try and strike you My armor glasses 14 They created no They're going to use invisible sword. Okay. And they're going to try and strike you.

My armor class is 14. They created! No! No! They hit you for a whopping 7 damage. Oh boy. Ha ha! Weakling, you only make me stronger.

Oh man, then I will use my reaction to pestel rebuke this little fellow. How does that work? They do a dexterity saving throw. Cool. I only got a 10. OK. OK, then yeah, you fail.

OK, they fail. So they take more damage. They fail. So they take 24 damage. Wow. They're still standing, but they kind of do a shocked pantomime face. I'm powerful, but those are also

I used both my spells for the day. Gotcha. So they are fully encoded in this pastel energy, and instead of being black and white now, they're a rainbow mime. Ha ha ha ha. They're kind of loving it, despite the fact that some of the color red is blood.

Wow. Yeah, all right, so that is back around. The giant already went. That's going to be a nice turn Sweet I am going to run and kick off of keychain and jump as high as I can up into the air get a boost from keychain Yeah, and I'm gonna do a flip through the air and draw my bow and shoot from above good shit Yeah, moon style. Yeah. Watch this, brother. Oh, no. Oh, wait.

You can use your expression. Put your body in his brain. That's another one. There you go. So, at an eight. A d8, yeah. 17. 17 hits.

Yeah. You think about Jinslandel comedy. I was spinning too fast. And then I thought a really funny post from Jinsland, but he would never How much darmage dude or learn six damage six damage great and I'm going to take my second attack as soon as I land I draw a second arrow and shoot it naturally 16 16 hits eight damage great

Okay, that is Jyn's turn. You know, I'll just group it together nicely. Yeah. I'm going to cast Crown of Madness on the little guy. The little guy, the little minion. Okay, so he needs to make a wisdom saving throw or be charmed by me for up to a minute. Awesome.

This minion did study at the traditional school of clowning, can you do that, Arthur? But they did not go to any real school, so they're very stupid. And they roll a natural one. Nice. Oh! So, he fails. The Charm to Target must use its action

before moving on each of its turns to make a melee attack against a creature other than itself that you mentally choose. I choose the giant. Smart, smart choice. Yeah, I think about choosing Keychain. Ah. Does the minion get an actual crown on their head? Yes, they get, it says they get a twisted crown

of jagged iron appears on a Ted and a madness glows in its eyes. Oh, wow, they've gone like full kinglier. Yeah, his performance is amazing. Yeah, I was gonna say I am wrapped. All right, I'm gonna attack the giant, but I am also gonna roll a charisma roll to see if you're enchanted by the performance. Okay, hey great turn bud. Hey, thanks.

Onyx. Okay, so do I get the sense from that which encapsulates this guy that I can try to get around this shield or should I just attack the... You can't see it. It's like when a mind pretends to be in a box. Okay, I'm going to attack the little guy. The minion? The minion.

Okay. As much as I love his performance. I got a net 20. And him. I don't think I think it's curtains for the felon. 15. Okay. They take their final bow. It feels cruel to take such an artist from this world. I go to a plot and then think better of it. It wasn't that good, everyone. Fine, the crown turns into smoke, and you know, you think for a moment about what could have been, what kind of fun goofs you could have done.

I did that. You could go on your memory. Good job, Jens. I'm sorry, I guess I was just picking up your trash. Yes. And then I have a second attack. Oh great. With the passing of the Mimian minion the cube of forces now lifted nice

Still well does a 22 hit it does okay, so and I roll really well 15 they are looking hurt their cigarette is like drooping like it's gotten wet I think there's like a little blood on the cigarette You've got no more friends to eat now Nature is my shakutari both I shall eat what I see I'm eating floor cheese everyone how much damage it's a not a successful a bit 15 Okay, the giant has a new target. I'll say that much. Okay But it's key chains turn key chain. Can you do it again? Can you bring that magic for me?

I loaded smells with an arrow. Keychain rolls a three. Keychain does a second attack. Keychain rolls. Ooh 14. That's just enough. Yeah. Wow, Keychain roll to six. So that's seven damage damage this giant is looking right fucked up. All right. It's breathing heavy It's baguette is soggy now too. You looked unhealthy from the guest. Yes Again new bread. I only eat bread get new bread cigarettes. I eat bread egg mayonnaise more egg bread I eat bread, egg, mayonnaise, more egg, bread, cigarette. That actually sounds really good. I can't argue with that.

But maybe try vaping. Vap, the egg, forget it, we're gonna murder you. Just kill us. You truly don't have a future to try, you know. So we don't have to talk to you. The giant puts the entire baguette in their mouth and lights it up and tries to smoke the breath. No.

And that's a full action. Ha ha ha. Actually what they do, all of their allies have a band of them. Oh no, so they're just gonna swing at Onyx, I think, because what's gonna happen now? Okay, bring it on, come on. All right, they pull out their big baguette.

It's soggy, but still strong. 17 hit. That it does. Okay. 16 damage. Okay. On their first hit. Okay. And they're gonna flick another cigarette at you. They're gonna try and ash-asset. They're gonna try and put out a cigarette on you. That's 19 to hit hit all right. It's gonna be fun This is 3d 10 attack. Oh dear You take 21 points of damage. I'm down. Oh Is that dunkels first kill?

Dunkels first down Congrats, dunkels first down One of his nephews Jet and carbon mourn your passing. I said this what you deserve. I'm just trying to have a muse that is not the bread. I say nothing because I'm dead. I'm dead. You made the mockery of my clowns how could you? I'm sorry, it is.

No, I asked her. Oh, sorry, it is. No, I asked her. Yes, okay, I crawl up my brother like a totem pole. What? Do a back flip off of him and lay on his own mouth to mouth. And I cast cure wounds on her. Very much. You roll a D8.

I roll a D8, of course. And then waste a modifier. Yeah, dude get used to this shit 9 I Come to you and I say Geath. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. Please Geath. Sorry. I threw up recently Did you piss yourself again? Did you do it? Did him that care wounds tasted like cheetos? Yes, that tracks Little mother finger Butterfinger my best friend you did it. I did it all oyster

That too I have a bad diet I have a bad diet, too. There's also no refrigerator on the roof Zimun has mini Shakutra's but it is a food desert otherwise. There's some roof fit in there. And Naya looks at the ground. Ah! Yes. Squab! Is that your turn?

Please no more questions. Great, Jens is your turn. Sweet, I'm going to run over to Onyx and Niaq. Use both of their heads as springboard. And as I do it, I am going to bonus action, healing word Onyx tight. Oh, thank you. Give me an acrobatics role to see how cool you look.

Sweet. Oh, hell yeah. 25, you look cool as shit. And I really quick do the healing words So you think just being in my presence like makes you feel better. Yo, you look like Jinsland Del official having his foot kick your head healed you Yeah, I lean in real like I get in real close to you and I whisper that's Next time tag me. I feel you for seven and then I back

flip back and I'm gonna try some Flurses on this. I know it now. It's the real Jensley. No, no, no, no. Oh boy. I got a 15. That hits. Oh sweet. Okay, then I am gonna do, I'm gonna do a defensive Flurs, so we'll use another. Much like N Niaq this giant is not wearing sure Oh boy, so five damage okay first attack and then I'll do a second attack Well doesn't hit yikes Onyx, okay, I'm just going to Use my jump to jump up to Jen's Lindell's head Jump off of it and then come down with my mall

Love you maniacs. Oh, I'm wrong. So fucking dope today. That's a 27 hit. Don't answer. No, it does it twice Although that was actually bad nine nine damage. Yeah onyx Finish him. Um, I call over Obsidian, and I say, this man wanted to make a meal of your people. Now you make a meal of him. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I've got to give you a vocal trainer. Can I tell you what happens? Yeah. The crystal moonicorn gallops over and takes a knee next to Obsidian and lets Obsidian climb onto his back.

And then he jumps into the air and launches Obsidian right into the forehead of the moon giants. Obsidian activates their horn drill and boars right through its brain. Yeah, lobotomize him, Obsidian! Ah, this is such sweet passing. I just wanted to eat a hearty friend's soup. More in than me. Casu-layers, more about beans anyways. I like beans, they're hot-tea, they're good protein. Ha ha ha ha.

And the moon giant falls and you're out of combat. Congratulations. Sensing your victory, the Crystal Moonicorn nays loudly, letting the herd know it is safe to return. As the other horses come back, the stallion walks slowly towards you. It kneels. Great beast. We require your crystal or if you are indistinguishable from your crystal, you as well.

The Municorn gestures for you to touch its horn. I look to my compatriots and I say, let's do it at the same time. You're all going to do it? Yeah. Great. I turn our phone camera on, selfie mode. We said no phone. I keep getting into just one. We said no phone. We said no phone. We said no phone. We said no phone. We said the moment. I really think this one will perform. Listen to keychain. Listen to keychain. Okay. We all approach and put our hands on it. Oh boy. You touch the crystal and suddenly you're back in the stable all those years ago. But this time your parents are alive. You see your father, Basel Tois, praying over this very crystal.

As he does, tendrils of muscle, flesh and bone sprout from it, and in moments, the crystal is housed within the body of a beautiful moonicorn stallion. While he does this, your mother looks back nervously. Hurry, Basalt. I don't like leaving the children for this long. What if he goes for him? What if he goes for him first? Basaltois strokes the unicorn's mane, then turns the graphite.

Have a check on them. But for now, a new friend, he's ready to speak to you. Basil Toa brushes his hand along his wife's small craters. Onyx, it's been so long since you've seen her. And it's almost eerie how similar you look. She holds his hand on her as for a second, then lets him go. Papa?

She then begins whispering instructions to the newly polymorphed moonicorn. The moonicorn nods, the nays loudly. All the other horses' nay in response then gallop quickly from the stable and into the depths of the night. Satisfied, Griffith turns to join her husband, but is greeted by a nightmare. There, in the light of the doorway, is a dark figure. The dark figure that you've seen in your memory so many times before. He pulls the crystal shard out from Basil Toys back and rushes towards Graffite, stabbing her mid-spell.

Believes of her half-formed thorn whip flutter to the ground and rest in a pool of her own blood. The figure drags Basil Toys over to Grafite, then searches the stable. Finding nothing? They leave a trail of blood dripping from their shard blade, Onyx? You know it's not the same shard that you have attached to your flail, but when you see it in this vision, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were hune from the same source.

You three stare at the scene for a moment, a long, terrified moment, and then another figure walks into the room, a small, scared figure. They stand right where you're standing, and then after a moment, onyx you are them. You're that scared child again. And you've just seen a terrible tragedy. What do you do? Attack. Attack what?

Attack the shadow. They've already left. Attack the wall. You punched the wall? Yes. Okay. You punched the wall. Tears dripping down your your face filling your craters You punch it over and over again so frustrated that you couldn't do anything to stop this from happening

But look at the door to see if I can see the shuttle over treating they've already retreated into the cheese As you cry you hear that there's someone else in the stable. A small faint wine. Grrrr! That's so horrible. Could only be obsidian. You see an incredibly small baby unicorn, a runt that got left behind by the herd. It runs to you in

nozzles on your hand. As you try to comfort baby obsidian, you hear a voice so thick and deep it resonates in your chest. It's a thick, raspy laugh, and every time you hear it the bloody shard flashes in front of your vision. desired And then all of a sudden you're back in the present day Click No personal to you hi Yeah, I was there. I didn't know what was going. Well, you know, I put it together. I was, like, two and three years ago.

I think it was a movie that had nothing to do with anyone here. I feel like it was your... We have all three. You're one of those good ones, I think. He didn't, our pants. Yes. I did a little bit too. You lie more than me, honest.

I don't lie. I just, you know, I,, I present the face I want to be. Maybe. Okay. There are lots of types of lying. I was lying about not having to use the bathroom. I do have to use the bathroom. Someone put keychain away. He's picking a little too real.

I put keychain away. He's going to get a UTI. And then I think, I think Jen's, I think it resonates with him, like, pretending to be somebody else. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you the whole story. The fact is, I know that, I know it is shameful to wield this crystal, considering its vague relationship to that which killed my parents, but it promised me what I desire and what I desire is vengeance. I know that all too well. Someday, I believe you will do all this gruff person, and I, Diac will throw the glove for you.

Tweet me my honor, my lady. Thank you so much. Now, I have it to go, Sharko Dury. We call that Lunchable. I will not eat a Lunchable. I will have my brothers. As the dream fades and you return to Pollux in the present, you see that you now have the fourth Gennarat crystal in your hand, willingly given. Okay, I know that so far we have been shining examples of employees, but should we consider pretending that we did not find this?

I think that y'all should do what y'all were told to do. Okay, he's here. Oh, dear me. Walking towards you, kind of limping on their silver cane, you see Mercurio. Of course, that's what we're going to do. That's a mighty fine crystal. And I certainly would love to have it in my possession. But I understand that y'all have a previous employer, and I would not meddle in a contract, no Suri. But perhaps I can offer you something even better. This benefactor fellow, what do y'all know about him?

We saw a movie of him today. Sort of like a Skype call. A little bit of a Skype call. A bit. Understand, yes? Work steady and the checks don't bounce. Nah, I hear that. Listen, exactly.

Why do you not pay rent to any of you? I'm saving up for my own place. Good, good. Having a steady order with it together. Stetty income is about the only thing you can count on in this world. I understand that. From when I started my first vending machine to my fleet of all sorts of mechanical contraptions that I have deployed across Trinavale, I understand the importance of a hard

day's work. But in addition to being a businessman, I fancy myself a bit of a collector as well, much like your old benefactor. But as a businessman, first and foremost, I know there's no point in paying somebody to retrieve something that somebody else is already paying for. So let me offer y'all bargain. In addition to not buying your precious family farm, I'll let y'all continue to collect these crystals, but when the time comes, I'll come a colon for y'all to steal them from me.

And when that moment occurs, I will pay you 10 times what the benefactor is offering. Can I just do a quick insight check to see if he is literally the devil? Yep. Okay. Would you get? 18.

18. He's not the devil. But you get the sense that he might have done business with one or two. That's how he's a pretty well-known public figure. Like you've seen him on magazine covers in dentist offices. Brothers, he is not the devil. I knew sometimes. You've got some leftover battles. It's almost like you're like a little sarcastic in battle like a little like Chandler.

Like Chandler? It's just a you-otter thing. Chandler is the funniest, okay? I know this isn't exactly an easy decision for y'all to make. I know I'm coming out of the night sky, licking like some sort of demon of devil, an apparition. But sometimes in life you find yourself between a rock and a moon giant. And you've already got yourself a whole mess of crystals and uh, well the blood's on your hands. Do y'all know what the benefactors plan on doing with those things?

Admittedly no. Yeah. Well, Ruma says, trying to build some sort of machine. Myself? I just want to research him. Legendads of these crystals were made by the gods themselves and once powered entire cities on Genorac. Before the fall that is. Think about all the good we could do for the world with something packing such a punch. So I'll lay it out for you straight. You help me steal them once they're all together. I pay you

straight. You help me steal them once they're all together. I pay you 10 times won't do it. Blank check how's that sound. Whatever you desire I will make it real. And as a show of good faith, I'll lend you my best soldier to help you recover the fifth crystal. Zoguef why don't you show yourself. Oh geez thanks Mark I was starting to get a little cramp. Suddenly, a face appears in the fizzy spring. And emerging from it, you see a large figure. And it's a figure you've seen before. The water drips off them and forms into a long, multi-colored scarf. Nia, the last time you saw this scarf was outside of Papa Goms' Jambalaya Jamborene.

I've seen this scarf. But unfortunately, the scarf was wrapped tightly around the figure's head, and you couldn't make out their face. But now, illuminated by the moon above you, you see that it's a face you've seen once before. Standing before you is the huge frame of the half-orc noblewoman Monica Redbloom. She grins. Hello, I'm showing back at that battle auction

there, Sweeties. I've had a lot of fun watching y'all work. And you've made it really easy to recover a lot of exciting due dads for Mr. Delorito here. Anyway, it's a real pleasure to hopefully be working with you. The name Zogaff Lorque, but you kiddos can call me Z. I thought you might be Z. Can I do an insight check to see if she's literally the devil? And that's really in our session. Music 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1%, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 I got a two shout out to the two crew. It's the devil. I was sitting there being like I was like the first guy was like

is he Z where is the Z in his name I don't hear a Z and Z didn't have an like an accent before. No no Mercurio's got people. I just am so generally mistrustful of a Southern accent. He's clearly like a big tycoon guy. Right. What did you think of my campaign? I thought it was very cool. You did a good job, you did a good job, Doug. Thank you, thank you. I liked exploring the cot. It was fun to go to somewhere like the moon

and then do like a small role-playing thing at first. I thought that was me. Oh, cool, I'm glad you liked that. Yeah. Well, hopefully we'll talk about it at some point when we get around to recording short rest for these Trinavale episodes. Yes, because then I get to do my favorite thing, which is prod the DM and be like,

what did you think was gonna happen? Ooh. Did we surprise you at all? Every time, always, constantly surprise, constantly terrified, fear is your ally. But that's gonna do it for us. Thank you all so much for listening. This has been your Uncle Caldwell,

and you can stay at for another hour. Oh, that's awesome. We can watch Home Improvement. All right, bye, sweetie. Bye. Bye. That was a Hate Gum podcast. you