Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 5: Ginnarak Gauntlet

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Deployed to the scorched ruins of Ginnarak, Team 22 finds themselves beset by dangers and deception on all sides as the hunt for the fifth and final crystal begins! Jens gets sneaky, Onyx gives into peer pressure, and Nyack stands up for something. Pack you best scarf, 'cause things are about to get TOXIC.Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (www.TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)"Tip Top Gunner" by Daniel Ramos"Toxicity System" by Daniel Ramos"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"Pollox" by Emily Axford"Obsidian" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinvail. Mmm. Multipliers. Every time it happens, I grow stronger. Soon I will be unstoppable. A world where the future shines with uncertainty. The past is swollen with secrets, and the present is pretty fucking bonkers too. It is a true adventurer's paradise.

Today's story begins on the savoury step of the Ploxian lunar wilds. String Chi's shoots rustle in the wind as our heroes parlay with a mysterious magnate and his shape-shifting bodyguard. Meanwhile at the Lumiere estate, a blacked-out Blavin awakens to a speaking stone message from the benefactor that reads, Team 21 fail, send 22. It seems our heroes already have another mission, but to where?

And what happened to Team 21? Also, why is the benefactor so bad at texting? already have another mission, but to where? And what happened to Team 21? Also, why is the benefactor so bad at texting? Only time will tell. And so, without further ado, let's rejoin our heroes at Begin Chapter 5 of the Trinavale Adventure. Trinavale! Trinavale!

Trinavale! Ever, ever, ever, ever. Now we play the full trap club remix. Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Trin Hello friends and welcome back to the table. I am your dungeon master or dunkel called well Tanner joined by who wants to introduce them So spring down. Oh just going right for the leader of the pack All right, annex Lumière Municorn mother and vintner with avenge us. Oh Niaq of the ran of four follower of the leader of the pack Bravo, ah my three beautiful children.

That's right. Please follow it a distance. Anything you say, brother. But do follow Jenslandel official. I'll guard the rear. Oh, oh, Jens, I followed you back. And I hold it up and it says the real Jenslandel. Oh, no, it's Jenslandel official. Good content. I'm really impressed. Let me see your phone. I, you're going to get spawned.

Let me see your phone. You're gonna get spawned. See your phone. No, too many nudes. There's more dummy accounts than there are real ones. Okay, now I know you're all eager to continue your chat with Mr. Delurio, but first how about a quick recap of our last session? Let's do it.

Here we go. When last we met, you three were on your way to Pollux, the smaller of Trinnavale's two moons in search of the fourth Gennarack Crystal. Your ship landed on a quaint countryside vineyard, which Onyx awkwardly confessed belonged to her family. Before Jens could get too furious, you were greeted by Onyx's twin brothers, Jett and Carbonne, who despite their frustrations with her abrupt departure years earlier, were

delighted to be reunited with their baby sister and her toy moonicorn Obsidian. They led you inside where you then met face to face with Mercurio Delurio, a vending machine tycoon who was trying to buy the ailing vineyard from Onyx's family. Shaken by this news, the gang shared an emotional charcuterie board while filling jet and carbon in on their mission. The two brothers then retrieved a box from Onyx's deceased parents, containing a clue to the location of a hidden heirloom they guessed might be the aforementioned crystal. It was here Onyx began having flashbacks to the night of her parents' murder.

Each won a company by the raspy voice of the demonic force that seems to live inside her crystal-shard flail. After investigating the wine cellar, you discovered a secret room bearing an elaborate modified version of the center's mark sigil, and a note telling you to follow the herd. And so using Nyax nose and Jin's keen, extremely real tracking skills, you began searching for the herd of moonicorns that used to live in the winery stable. Eventually, your search led you to a bubbling champagne spring where you spotted a pack of moonicorns guarded by a large stallion with a shimmering crystal horn.

Before you could confront the beast, a hideous moon giant ambushed you, claiming the moon icorns were to be ingredients in his horsey casule. You quickly defeated this euro trash behemoth and then communed with a crystal creature. Upon touching its horn, all three of you were transported back to the night of Onyx's parents' murder. In the stable, you saw a dark figure stab graffite and basaltwa, Lumiere with a shard that looked eerily similar to Onyx's. Then flee into the night. Before the vision faded, Onyx, you heard a loud raspy voice say, life. You then snapped back into the present where you were greeted once again by Mercurio Delurio, this time with an offer in tow. Delurio told you he'd withdraw his offer to buy

the farm if you'd help him steal all five Gennarack crystals once they'd been assembled. To sweeten the deal, he even offered you the services of his best henchmen, Z, a rogue half-orc who even counted multiple times throughout your adventures, but haven't met until now. And so we're all caught up, as you mull over Mr. Delurio's offer, Zogaf Lorck, better known as Z, flashes you a Tusky grin and extends her huge armoured hand towards yours. She clearly wants a handshake or maybe even a hug. What do you do?

I put the bottle of chicken wine in it. Oh, look at that! So I made that chicken wine there. Oh, that's real good stuff. She downs the entire bottle. Oh, God. Was she the one who was in that fight when we were bidding? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, did you like that? That was me pretending to be a hoidy, toyty, noble woman. Pretty, pretty fun, huh? Yeah. Monica Red Plume, that's one of my aliases. I tried to, you had a chance to have an alliance with the great Jen Slandell and you turned it down.

I challenged you to a duel. Oh, I got the guff. Yes, brother. Oh, three on one duel. Oh, hey, Mr. D'Illoreo. I picked trap four gloves. Mr. D'Illoreo, would you mind if I had a little scrap with these folks that might be good for them to see, you know,

what this big honka something could do for them on their side, you know? And, you know, Mercurio lights a pipe, seems kind of eager to see what would go down any nods. I scrambled up and slapped her in the face with my brother's glove. Oh, that's a very nice little glove. It's so small though. You've been challenged by Jens Lindell official. Yes. Follow me on Instagram.

That nice. Yes. Okay, I don't really go in for the Instagram stuff. I am much prefer a Polaroid, but you know, let's have a little go. Let's have a little scrap, huh? I do respect that you're willing to leave the phones at home. Yeah, I got to like some people I look at on it. I was I was checking my drinks to grab what hey attention live in a moment Where are we? It's such a beautiful vista that's a shame. She was about to follow you brother Oh, I told her to close the app. Yeah, I was about to my goodness

Everyone focus up. We're in a three on one duel. Are y'all gonna fight? Yeah. I guess it's explet's curse on her. I guess we got the relinition. No, she's got west time. So yeah, we're not doing a surprise round.

This is an honorable three on one duel. Three on one. I love those items. ABBITCH 19. 2021. I got it. You know what? I got me. I deserve it. Okay, I'm I'm just gonna go and delete everything I had planned for this episode. Great. All right cool. Off the rails already baby. Z got a 10. One second.

I just want to say going into this. I am not going to try to kill you, but rather submit you. It's just a duel. Yeah, we're just wrestling. Yeah. We're just having a little go at it. And I will try to kill you for my brother. Oh. I love you. You don't need to kill me.

No, I can't do that. I slip my hand open and smear the blood out my face. Oh. I had a little red pepper over here. I like this one. Oh my goodness. So within minutes of starting this episode, you're already fighting your potential ally. Let's fucking do it. And she wanted to be allies. She could have been allies before. I said it to her. You know what? There's a lot of you know there's a lot of stink in the air. Let's clear that out. I don't

think it's white. I know it's some stuff. I have repressed. They charge at her. Okay. Well you charge at her but Nia runs past you. I'm pretty slowly. My legs are wobbly from thinking about how my father would handle you You got to eat some pepperoni or have a drink of water or something you're looking a little on stage You don't know anything Nyak, do you want to attack? Yes, I do for honor for my brother cool shooter in the legs I draw my bow and I aim at her knee Cool. Shoot her in the legs. I

Drawed my bow and I aim at her knee We're not trying to kill her just cripple her. Yes. I will take out her calf brother 25 25 Hits and you know what I'm also gonna make a bonus action of and cast Hunter's mark nice Yeah, he learned in you wanna explain that one more time You choose a creature you can see within range and mystically market as your quarry Until the spell ends you deal an extra one D6 damage to the target whenever you hit it with a weapon attack Wow, and you have advantage on wisdom and survival. Hey, yeah, very cool. So sick, dude Through the knee shoot her through the knee anything you command. Well, that seems to be at harsh and then I

Come on just have the numbers bud 13 13 damage I will say you are very much endearing yourselves to Jens who just started this fight That's what you bad gal. Yeah, you all agreed to it great and to endure myself further I barrel roll unnecessarily and I drop my bow again and take my second attack. We're on the moon. Nya, there's nothing to hide behind. I roll a nat one.

Oh, God, dust went into my eye. You eat your arrow. Sogap just pats you on the head. Oh, you're a little rapskulling. I swallowed my arrow. Oh, I'm gonna have to pass that. So God gives you a wet nap. Knowing you it will come soon.

I have been a notoriously weak stomach. Yeah, you're that's motion sickness, I think. I did a barrel roll and I got dizzy. A lot of sets you. Okay, I aim for the same knee. Does a 14 or a 17 hit? 17 hits. Okay, well then I only hit once with my two attacks,

but I hit four, 12. Great. And the knee. She looks like she didn't even notice it. I feel like you're subtracting from her total health, but you should really be subtracting from the knee health What's the knee health? What is the EFP of the knee hold on yellow? Let me pull up my my 3.5 rules You're doing to me health. Yeah

Half or me All right, that brings us to Z Okay, so Z is going to kind of like hot back from you on X And they are going to- Oh, I said 12, but I meant 13. I added their own proficiency. Oh, 13? Is she down?

Oh shit! For knee-explos! Oh, that's not my change to the game. It was full of goo. She had a goony. Goony! Oh, I mean, freaking ACL! I'll never play football again.

Okay, so she hops back from you, Onyx, and then she clenches her right fist. And you see on her right fist, she has this kind of jeweled golden gauntlet, and then she fires it forward. And you see five small spear shoot at you. She's going to be using her mage claw ability, which is a ranged punch essentially. Let me see if that hits. Nine, that's not gonna hit. No, that he's not going to hit.

Okay, so what happens is two of the claw spears, I would say the index finger and the middle finger, miss, we're gonna see if the other ones hit. Okay. Does a 15 hit. Yes, it does. All right, cool, wonderful. And quite a lot.

That's going to be 11 damage. Okay. Cool, and that's her turn, James. James, it's your turn, finish your off. Finally, go for the knee, brother. I'm going to scratch that knee. Honorable foe, you honor me in this duel, and then I kicked Dirt and Rye rise and try to stab her in the nude.

She puts on sunglasses. That's a 24 to hit. All righty. That'll do. Yeah, I'm gonna do my defensive flourish, add my bardic inspiration to my attack. Nine damage, and then I add two to my AC until the end of turn nice, and then I'm gonna do second attack I got word level six now, so I got another attack here Welcome to the class 16 hit that hits sweet That is six damage, okay, and then I'm gonna attack with my offhand

That is the real Jensland down Are you impressed are you impressed don't you want to follow the real or Jensland Del. Quack, quack, quack. Ha ha ha. Are you impressed? Are you impressed? Don't you want to follow the real, or Jensland Del official? Oh no, oh no. No, no, no. You got to keep your story straight, bud.

That was funnier than my brother. Follow Jensland Del comedy. Damn it. Offhand is a tend to hit. Tend to hit. That's by Mrs. She beautifully slides past you. For like such a big dump truck of a lady, like she is very graceful.

Very graceful. And we're back around in IAC. Still rolling on the ground. Finish her off. Let me help you out. She's close. I shut my eyes and fire an arrow. You shut your eyes, pal.

20 hits. It was not net if you can believe it. Ha, ha, ha. 17 damage, great. Now I'll, some result, wink at my brother. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, 24. Yeah, you're just a real jungle, Jamma, for boy. I hate your knee.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. 16 damage. Damn, nah, you're making some good swipes. I'm still rolling on the ground. She is thinking maybe she underestimated you, but she's still got enough health to teach you a lesson. Let's say that Again only one of my attacks will hit but it will hit for Onyx will happen to your voice You know frustration brings out another side of me.

Hmm. Another 12. 12 damage, ain't bad. Yes, but it's not what it could be. Ha, ha. You gotta stop looking on the dark side of things. I also realized we leveled up, but we didn't rest, so I still have really shit HP.

So I'm seeing her looking super healthy, and I'm feeling very tired. And when he gets to her turn, I would like to just say, you know what? I think it's a tie. Well, yeah. You started this and we must see this through.

Brother, you've saved yourself. Don't shame yourself. But there is no shame in a tie. There's one thing I have learned from you, Jen. It is not to shame myself. Zogaff is bouncing on the balls of her feet. You've kind of gotten her pumped up for this. She's like, ah, we gotta see this door.

Your friends are right. All right. I'm having fun. You know, I don't get to cut loose like this very often. Okay, this is gonna be fun. On her turn, Jens, she comes up to you. Great. And she's gonna grab you and try and grapple you.

Great. Oh. So I need to do a grapple check first, I guess something There's a chemistry. How'd you do I did very good actually I got a natural 19 wow I only got a nine shit Cuz I have a negative one to strength. Oh, okay. Well, she fails the grapple, but I guess she is just gonna stab you So there's that. Try.

Does it be so beautiful? 18. Just hits. All right, there we go. Backing the after-y half yielded. You show yourself dishonor. You take, wow, even Naya gets gargling her up. I deserved that.

You take seven damage. Damn it. I'm so hurt, I deserved that. He takes seven damage. I'm so hurt from the other fight. We declare a draw! No! I want to see this through even if it is just blow for blow with me and this beautiful beast. Let's go down swinging. I will defend my brother. Yeah, it's fine.

Don't kill us. I will avenge your death brother. No. You know, you to see this through. Didn't you have a pop that touch of that lesson? I try to cut her head off. I don't have a pop. First swing is a 23 to hit. You can share my dad. Sweet. Can I also. I don't want to share. If you need a dad, I have one share you need a dad. I have one I need a dad You can have my dad there's plenty dad to go around my damage on the first attack right out of bardic inspiration

So I can't do anymore flourishes, so it's just real wonky looking a real tired and labor dancing Second attack, and I'm rolling pretty well. 23 to hit. Wow, yeah. Only four damage though. Okay. Offhand attack. Is a fucking 22 to hit. Wow, yeah. Oh, dude, we're good.

Eight damage. Nice. And this is all stabbing with the intent to kill. The stabs are starting to take effect. Okay. She does hand you a gatorade though, because you're looking tired. Thank you. I hope it's a gatorade for us. Yeah, it's rip to take effect. Okay. She does hand you a gatorade though, because you're looking tired. Thank you. I hope it's a gatorade for us.

Yeah, it's Riptide Rush. Sorry. Okay. I'll tell, take it. I forgive you for insulting my dead father, son of a- Oh my goodness, the frathers dead? Yeah, he's super dead. He died in a duel, actually.

Oh, mercy, I had no idea. So this is for me- You absolutely had an idea. I was running my big mouth. I'm sorry for Gavin like that. That was in a four. That was inappropriate. I had an inkling to be fair. Yeah I mean think about all of us have tragic pasts. We have to. Not me. I have a happy childhood. I don't need her best big brother in the world. Oh yeah my parents are both alive and kicking. You know they got a little lake house. Very nice. My mom's still alive. Okay go ahead and

kick dirt in my face. Well face you know what I wish she was dead because she very directs dad you talk about my mother oh oh she was my mother first a rift between twin brothers there's always been a rid there's nothing but rift this is so wait over come this and be better brothers and in fact we just did. It's a Nyax turn. I shake the dust out of my mullet and I do a backhand spring and I cast cure wounds on my brother. With a kiss on the head of the forehead. We share a mother.

You just love to see that. It's like a little calendar. I attack her. How much did you kill me for? Motherfucker! I'm rolling so poorly! Could you get? On both of my attacks still only one. Okay, he'll do for nine buddy.

Thanks. What's the damage? The damage is 16. 16. This is not me at my best. I just want to make that clear because I'm... This is a point, right? Honest, you really insisted on us continuing this fight. I ain't no like to add.

Honestly, it's because I really want to hit both times. Right. One time. Okay. And I keep on hitting ones. So it's not out of you being brave. It's out of you. You want to hurt someone and then...

You're going to get a fight. I am behaving small. See, I'll be pretty close to Zogaf, right? Yes. Okay, so this time I think she's going to try and grapple Onyx. Okay, bring it on. Shout out to the two crew. Oh, yeah!

I'm glad your roles translate to when you're a DM. Yeah, this is seriously. Shit roles all day. Do I have to roll and oppose, though? Yeah, let's do it opposed. That's a six. Okay, I'm fine. All right, cool. She's not able to pose. That's a six. Okay, I'm fine. Alright, cool.

She's not able to grapple you. So congratulations. See, like you have a lot of potential. You're just like, rest up. You're like a little Chris Go Angel over there. Yeah, well, it's all tears. I don't know if you know this has been a very personal very, very, very, very, very, very,

kind of, you know, we have been kind of snooping on it. Yeah, we know. And I hate to put you through the ringer like this after such a long day. I don't like you guys snooping on us At least the benefactor is just a far away figure that like you look up to but you never really got to know that well You can do through those coins hold on one second. You look Just use like a baller, you know what I mean

Silence yourself Naya, when did you learn it? When did you learn it? He gets spicy during battle. Don't you remember? The battle sass? I need to respect you brother. Don't shake that. Just fine. This is a complex little relationship. I love it. We're all roommates and you know you kind of accrue issues when you do that. Am I up? Don't shake that just fine. This is a complex little relationship. I love it We're all roommates and you know you kind of accrue issues when you do that Am I up that you just try to grapple she tried to grapple so I guess that's probably your turn Okay, I guess what she could take another attack right grapple

Usually it's an action unless it's a attack for her All of that video That's fine. All right. I take a labored sword dance at her that does not include any fancy flourishes. I beatbox. Shout out to the four doors. Second attack is a 19 to hit. That'll hit.

Sweet. Five damage. And offhand attack, Nat one. I, I toot. And I've been holding it for a long time. Shout out to the TOOT Brutes. The TOOT Brutes. The TOOT Brutes.

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That's one of the first hit. That's what we've had. Yeah. It's a big old crit. 19 damage. And then before you do your second attack, she drops to a knee and is looking incredibly hurt and even more impressed.

It says, whoa, okay, all right. I think that's enough. I think you've proven your point. I did not doubt us for a second. I think Jen's aside and I say, you see what happens when you follow through. You are so concerned with follow back. You don't follow through.

You know what, that was such a sick burn that I won't, I won't point out the fact that Nayaq and I did a, a lot of the work. Okay, you wanna start, you wanna start adding it up? Let's talk about maybe the last fight. I'm not gonna go in front of Onyx. Brother, I won't. What? Do you want?

I will absolutely fight you, do you want to fight? Is that what you want from me? I'm, I'm, Niagara called me back. You have a very low HP and you're a quite gassy brother. Niagara called me back. Are you sure you want me to hold you back? You don't hold me back. I, I rush and I hold him back even though it really seemed like he was not going to charge.

Um, so yeah. It's not worth it brother. She's not worth it. I, I would fight her. I am worth it. I've turned to you. I let him have this. Okay I was doing a gentle Adele comedy bit. I let Jen to have it, but I do like I bear my teeth a little bit

Obsidian hold me back We need to get she went to speech therapy We need to get to switch therapy. So tragic, you look so beautiful. Does anyone need me to hold someone back? Or are you all good over there? You fought well. You've earned my respect. Oh, you always had mine, Jins.

And I apologize for snooping on you, you find folks. But as Mercurio mentioned, you know, there's times or dire, these crystals are extremely powerful and we can't let them just be floating around all willy nilly. So. I would agree with that.

Yeah. I would like to point out that this crystal is a family heirloom. And so I do not intend to give it to the benefactor. I see. Interesting. So when you meet up back with Blav and you're not going to let him have it, you're going to hold on to that crystal. I have. Obviously there are two other people on my team and I am a team player, but I find that it would be strange if I did not get your sympathy at least. I like it. You got spunk. I'll tell you that much, kiddo. I'm just saying, Jen's Niaq, this was left to me by my parents. It is difficult for me to consider

giving it to a stranger who did not even know my parents. I think my parents dying wish. I watched them polymorph this and send this off to be hidden for me and my brothers. No one respects the legacy of family more than Jens Lindell. Oh really? Because you have a half brother that you feel family. Not half family. The same blood that runs in my pain, runs in yours, brother. The same blood. I pressed my forehead against my brother. I take it. Others in arms. I take it.

For Valor. Onyx, you can keep it as long as you admit that I would have won the duel. Absolutely not. We're going to need different tours. I take it as, yes. You know, she's too prideful to admit it, but I think deep down.

I don't know, Nick. I am but one third of this team. If you both want to knock me out and take the crystal and give it to the benefactor, I suppose it might be a good way to kind of suss out what's going on here because we haven't been asking a lot of questions. And if we just help Lavin, we're not giving him the crystal. We could see if he freaks out and then we'll see if he's a good guy or a bad guy. Maybe.

I like that. I like it, though I do already know that he is a bad guy. Hahaha. I like that. Just in terms of being a douche. Right. I like that plan. Might of fine.

I like that plan quite plenty. Says Mercurio, who was here the whole time watching you. Oh, yes, you, right? I don't like this guy. Please Mercurio, who was here the whole time watching you. Oh, yes, you, right? I don't like this guy. Please Mercurio, I guess. How did you, Z, how did you end up with my friend here? Oh, you know, I, well, I left my homeland a while back, and I was kinda on my own, and Mr. Mercurio helped me out,

gave me a job and a life. I find that work is really the greatest purpose. As long as you've got work to do, as long as you've got something to put your nose down on, you don't got to worry about the details very often. Speaking of work, Jen, you have enough to cover next month's rent, right? Because I was probably not going to get paid for this job.

So I already had to put all of the bills and then for you to keep this crystal. That is a bit of a predicament. Yes. Now of course I am offering unlimited funds, your wishes, your desires granted if you would have helped me acquire all those crystals. Of course, I don't see anything wrong with Mizonix keeping that fourth one. Long as I can lay claimed all five when the time comes. Now I would need to confer with my compatriots, but that is ideal I would consider. Mm, so you'd be willing to hang onto that fourth crystal

for the time being, but when we've got all five, it'll give them to me in exchange for, maybe just to start things off, get this bidding underway. How does your own apartment sound? Never. Fully rented? No. Yes. Yes. I have to take the deal.

You don't. We have four people living in a one bedroom. One of us is a robot. I'm satisfied with my apartment. Anything else? Utilities all paid for. Yes, fine. They already are. No, they're not. They come out of my cut. I can move you into a bigger place with a pool and a little work

Got me. They need we like No, how about a stipend after that and you don't even have to do anything I would pay for your lives in full if you were to give me all five of these crystals yes You don't need it. We are yes. I was going to say we are not going to sign anything without some... Let's go talk to him. Let's go talk to him, but you can draft the papers. I think that'd be good. I'll have them drafted up.

All right, so we don't have a deal quite yet, but we are in the talks, and I like that. You know, we are on the hunt. We are sniffing each other's behinds, trying to find some sort of a cord here. No, it doesn't mean literally. I told you I didn't spell brother. get away from that. No, no, fast it Let me make this perfectly clear. Here's what's on the table Y'all need to get one more crystal I'm offering the services of my good friends. Oh, Gaffy all have tested her metal on this lunar battlefield

But of course, you don't't want her knee, but yes, she's more of a reconnaissance fighter I would say not really built for three-on-one dishonorable duels, but you know take from that what you will start Unzipping the bag of the glove But if y'all don't want my help, we will gladly go. And of course, we will still need to monitor you because these crystals are of great importance. But if you have any to help in the future, maybe we can come to some sort of an arrangement.

Do you have a way we are going to go after these crystals one way or the other? Do you have a way for us to contact you once we get the last crystal? I'm so glad you asked that question. Zogeth, why don't you fetch that thing from your little fan-i-pack there? Zogeth pulls out a little vial of a prismatic liquid. It looks similar to the Nulphrospin in a liquid form.

Now if y'all be so kind as to lend me those calling coins, y'all used a contact blabin' and the benefactor. I am deeply uncomfortable with this. Yeah, let's just not say anything and criminating over the phone. Okay, so we are willfully bugging ourselves. I mean, we are already are bugged by like the benefactor and stuff and they're watching us somehow anyway, so... My goodness, there's no privacy at all. Yeah, y'all knew that those Colin coins have have a direct line of the benefactor this whole time.

He can't hear us because we're on the moon and all the nulfros is interfering with it, but as soon as y'all get back to Trinavale, he's gonna be fully in contact with y'all once again. We live in a hell. Take my Collin coin. Yeah, go ahead. Zogaf puts a little drip of this liquid onto the Collin coins

and you see the eyes of the etching of the benefactor that are on your coins magically close. So from here on out if you all need me you can just call just say my name up top and it'll switch the channel automatically like that. Also if Zee ever shows up to A-jell and battle which is something I'd be willing if you want to make a deal her presence will be masked from the benefactor and Blavin from here on out. Alright we'll give you a which is something I'd be willing if you want to make a deal. Uh, her presence will be masked from the benefactor and blabin' from here on out. Alright, we'll give you a call.

Sounds good! I have one final request. Of course. Could you refill this Butterfinger BB, Setshell? Oh, my dear. It would be my greatest pleasure. I hold it out. There's- I'm only in like Hold on why does it take you so long to get through them? It's just really dense. They're not they're so rich. Well, he gives you three more Thank you. You're very welcome. I've been the knee and down my head deeply

We're not bestow me the honor of at least one butter finger BB. All right, open your mouth. It will last me a fourth night. You get those chompas open. You all want butter finger BBs, but you turn it down to my apartment. My tummy is trembling as I opened my mouth. We could have had a new apartment. Like a religious woman getting the Eucharist

from the priest. Like a magician, Mercurio holds his hands out. There's nothing in them. Spins them around really quick. All of a sudden, Mercurio holds his hands out. There's nothing in them. Spins them around really quick. All of a sudden in his fingers are two butter finger babies, which my eyes are wet with tears. Jens is gone. Mine are as well.

All right, all right. So, you know, I wasn't expecting to make a deal instantly, but we've exchanged information. We are, you know, circling around and off for which I think is fantastic. So myself myself and Zogaf we're gonna head out y'all go see what Blavins up to maybe try and squeeze a little information out of him and I'll be in touch so Mercurio clicks a button on his cane revealing a cloaked ship a little ways off he and Zogaf start heading towards it. He doffs his cap. Zogaf kind of

does a little curtsy and they walk off. Till next we meet then. Netis bless y'all and he takes off. I also curtsy. I curtsy as well. Okay everyone, give me your phones. Okay, the phones are the coins. You have speaking stones. I also have calling coins. Give me calling coins and speaking stones. I am to my pockets and everything inside give them to me. All right. I put them all in a Maychan And I hold them as far away from us as possible to try and have like a private conversation. Wait, I'm on if you want to as I mentioned before In the last episode the Null Frost around here blocks the cell signal. So everything you've said to Mercurio on the Moon is not being received by the benefactor or Blavin.

Right, but is this stuff that we say now being translated to Mercurio? No, it will only start taking effect once you're off-trend of it. Okay. And then I will. Then I will save that, Maychan, move for later. Where do you both stand? I really want to check in with both of you. Where do you stand?

I don't trust anyone except for you to. We have a very firm opinion, and I turn to my brother. We don't have a firm opinion. Reflexible. I think both of these guys are ballers. The invisible ship, very cool. I think both of these guys are ballers. The invisible ship. Very cool. I would like one of those. It's probably full of Butterfinger BBs.

Don't care about that. We should have taken the apartment next time. We take the apartment. Okay. We have a great place. What if it was an apartment full of Butterfinger BBs? Yes. We didn't have to live there and we could keep burning where we were. Why don't? No. You both live in the Butterfinger BB apartment. I live in the apartment we have now. But the benefactor also seems to have a good head on his shoulders to do a certain extent. He's been paying us. So why don't we go to Blavin and see what's what.

Great. I just wanted to get on the same pitch. You know what we could do and this is very sneaky. I love it. We could try to get the last crystal and see what those guys do. Invite them to one hotel conference room sort of with both crystals on us. Yeah and whoever's more evil we just don't give it to that person. Interesting. A less evil contest. Yes. The more evil one will be angrier. Yes. Right. Indeed, brother. Okay. So that would require us not revealing

to blav in that we are not going to be working for the manufacturer. Right. So we go tell blav in that we found the crystal, but we're gonna hang on to it because it's on X's fair family heirloom. We'll try to get the next one and then we'll we'll go from there. I like these machinations. Cool. Sneaky. I like it. Sneaky gang. Let's do it. Okay. Everyone. Sneaky family. More than a gang. That's beautiful. Oh, that's a beautiful. We're a sneaky squad. Family. We are a sneaky family. All right.

Sneaky brothers. Sneaky brothers. We are all brothers with each other. I've been shouting this guy. Sneaky brothers. I walk away from him, my old guy. So what's your plan now? Are you going to head back to?

Yeah, we're going to go to Blavin. We're going to go to Blavin. You're going to go talk to Blavin. Yeah. Okay. So you're headed back to the vineyard. Great. So I'll say say not you kind of know the terrain now. You don't need to worry about being accosted or getting moon madness. You've learned it. You track everyone's way back You know you take a nice stroll on Pollux

It's always kind of the same time of day here But you see kind of like twinkling stars in the sky. It's just like a beautiful sea of jewels. You take it in, you enjoy it. You have a moment free of conflict. The tiny moon has its charms. It has all these charms. The big moon merely reflects the tiny moon's charms. It's a charm.

So as you head back to the vineyard, you see Blavin and Slupert hurriedly loading cases of chicken wine onto the space shuttle. Well, shit and carbon look on anxiously. Blavin notices you, delicately sets down the case he was carrying and runs over. Oh, thank goodness you're back. Listen, we've got a hit on the fifth crystal already. The benefactor does not want to waste any time.

So as soon as you're ready, we are headed straight to the Inbus step on Ginnarak. So chop chop. I think we're ready. I'm excited to say goodbye to your brothers, or... Jet Carbon! Oh, on the Excel O! Ah, we must add off really quickly, but now that I know that we are in good terms, I can come back anytime I want. Leaving so soon, oh.

I know, it is said but... Sorry. What is going to happen to the vineyard? Well, we will you know all of the Zurellix that we discovered in that secret room. We may we may sell some of them A cereal bay. Yes, we will put them on the cereal bay and that will keep us running for a while Carbon I have allowed him to have a little more input and he actually has some very good ideas about how to Revitalize the business sometimes the younger brother does have good ideas. No, that's what I'm saying.

I don't know. Carbons like me to do our brother. Carbons like we're going to put zywaan in cans. Well, I have all I could possibly want back in Trinnyvale. What? I've added transport so that all of my partner, all of my partnership goes directly to the vineyard. You're supposed to pay the bills with that. No, I pay the rent. partner, all of my partners, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Onyx's brothers if if we do this could we perhaps use this as sort of an Arabian B where I could get away every once in a while could I come visit

That's absolutely the three of us can come here and stay together. We only need one room No, just if you get rid of the top one just a lower twin that'll work Yes, of course. We sleep head to toe and then Onyx goes across like an H. We like to sleep as an H. We don't have a family. We used to sleep like that to children. Of course we understand.

Onyx is our brother now. I am your brother and I am their brother. Yeah it's Rachel, I must say But we understand You can be our brother's too Could there be brothers? If there were five I'm a Pinta clan of brothers I have no brothers

Stupid upwards Well, yet, Garbon, it was too long And it will not be this long next time We understand, but please Take care of yourself. And you as well. These crystals are nasty business, you know. I know.

I know that it is suspicious rock to say the least, but I am using it. You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Yes, like this rope pillow says. Yes, yes, just like this rope pillow. That's where I got the idea. Yes, there this ropello says. Yes, just like this ropello. That's where I got the idea. Yes, there are literal font of wisdoms these pillows. Yes. So, I hope you understand.

Well, Onyx, we will let you go, but please, you know, this crystal seems to have some connection to our family and our vineyards. So, do whatever you can to uncover the truth. We will be waiting here. I will. And we will have to wine already I

Love you. We love you Okay, thank you. You're hug. They kiss either side of your cheek. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you Okay, I also kiss their cheeks because that's how high elves do it I tuck the glove back into my pocket. I didn't know how it was gonna go, brother. I kissed their cheeks as well. They kinda do like a domino of cheek kissing. So we're like, you're all in circles.

I'm just gonna pop. Kiss, kiss, kiss. We're all in a line kissing each other. Carbona, I've kissed you four times and I happen. All I said is, that's what it all goes. You must kiss shit. You must kiss shit. I'll kiss jet four times. You just do it twice. Oh, that's what it's not good. You must get shit. You must get shit. I'll get shit four times.

You just do it twice. One each cheek. Everyone please stop peeing. No, I'm sick. I'm the one, the more you do it, the nicer you are. OK, normally I would love a good kissing party. But time is of the essence. OK, Blavin.

Meanwhile, you loaded 500 bottles of chicken wide onto the ship. They offered it. It was a comp. I'm not going to turn it down. Yeah, it's good white onto the ship. They offered it. It was a comp. I'm not going to turn it down. No, it's good. It'll be good to have it. All right, let's go. Okay, so you all board the ship.

The dusty soil of Pollock's trimbles is the benefactor shuttle, cleaves into the atmosphere. Out your window, you see jet and carbon waving as the small moon becomes even smaller. And then you turn your attention to Blaven, who seems even sweatier and more flustered than usual. What's eating you, Blavin? Well, we have Blavin. I'm trying to do this new casual thing because people can't relate to me online.

What's going on, Blavin? I like this cool, James. Oh, is that why you did a series of videos saying, what's eating you, pla- Are you trying to start a meme? Everyone, pla- pla- And what's going on? Well, okay, so we located the fifth and final

generat crystal, and unlike it siblings, this crystal's never actually left generat. You're going to find it nestled deep in the heart of Draxpawn Mountain, which if that name sounds familiar It's because it's the exact location of the massive magical explosion that Inded the Artifist War and obliterated the entire continent of generac over 300 years ago As such the area is highly toxic. So you'll need to move quickly and I didn't want to mention this until now, but

You know that you are the 20-second retrieval team, right? Yes, I was wondering what happened to 1 through 21 well some of them are on lesser missions for the benefactor, you know with those one Team that mostly handles getting hot dogs to the hot tubs and so on. I'd like to be on that team I've only dearest tribute. The transfer to both of them. No, not as all of the pay is much worse. I'll have you know. That's fine.

We live rent free. I want for not. Don't live rent free. We need the money. I'm in this mess too now. You know I live in my apartment. I have a do you have such a bad deal. Spent all my money getting that third crystal I told you that.

Okay, flavin' lives of us. Don't you remember I spent all my money at the auction? We went over our budget and the benefit of wouldn't lend me anymore. This is terrible. It's only five people. It's not that bad. Niax said it was cool if I shocked up with you. It's only five people. It's not that bad. My accent was cool if I shocked up with you. One bedroom. Not on the roof. All right. So it's toxic magic explosion happened there. Other 22 teams are either getting hot dogs or dead. Well, the reason that we're in such a rush is because team 21

almost made it to the center of Draxpon, which is our best guess at where the crystal is, but we haven't heard from them in quite a while. So it would be great if it was a rescue mission. I think it might be more of a retrieval and recovery of, you know, their company properties. This is like the book I read in Highlyation. We are going into a toxic area. Yes, Highly Talks, I'm glad you remembered that part. This is a thrill. Are they sort of a fun crew?

What was their deal? Were they, Team 21? Yeah. No nonsense. All lived in separate apartments. Oh my, I couldn't drink at all. Really, which is totally fine, obviously.

But like, you know, I like to let loose a little bit. Sure. Well, I like to let loose. Yeah. If you're always loose, isn't that sort of your new definition of taste? Yes, it's not really letting loose. If you're always tight, you're a rubber band. If you're always loose, you're a bracelet, baby. That's what I always say.

You're a necklace. Ah! Blavin' dap snap. Night-hack. Ah! I definitely leave him hanging. That was really good. That was growing to stain for Blavin. Jent is very proud that he left his one hanging. Blavin, I have to ask you something. It's a sensitive piece of information

Have you ever cover your ears? Yes, please. Oh, yeah, I'll just fly the ship no problem here Blavin have you heard of the God's tell virus God stole virus Give me an insight 15 15 Give me an insight. Fifteen. Fifteen. The benefactor has several books in his massive library, which hopefully you will get to visit if you can recover this last crystal. And I have perused something on the subject.

Not much unfortunately, but if my memory serves, it was a theory, but never actually created in practice, and it's a virus that could not kill a god, but stop them momentarily in their tracks. But again, I think it's only hypothetical. It's something that scientists of an earlier age meddled with, but a magic like that is highly forbidden. Is that what caused the one God to fall asleep? You know, some scholars suggest that might have been what it was, but this has never been proven and we don't have any evidence to support any of this. So it's all who,

how I'm conjecture as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, of course, that sounds silly. I'm not tinfoil at person, so that sounds stupid. I'm interesting to say the least. I mean, tinfoil at person. So that sounds stupid. I'd Interesting to say the least. I mean I follow my fair share of conspiracy. I mean Triniville is flat though, right? We can agree. Oh, well, it's a cube. There's you know six flat sides. I see it from the moon. This is weird I've never seen it from this far out. I don't know how it works. You do approach the cube shape. Confirm. I'm gonna go ahead and say it.

Yeah, it's candid. Astronomers, please reach out in the comments. Let us know why that's not possible. It's just straight up cube, this planet. Is there anything else you want to ask Blavin or discuss with them while you're kind of waiting for reentry into the atmosphere? Okay, so it's toxic. Do we need to wear any kind of masks? We did not bring any masks.

But I don't trust you to have the kind of mask that I would wear. Yes, I do wear a very un-stylish mask. I would think so. It's bargain-bren. I buy a big pack of them. I do have a scarf. Scarf would be good. Okay. In lieu of mask, I do have these. And he pulls out three Magnum bottles.

Now, I know what you're thinking, but look inside them first. I look inside. I look inside. So you look at these Magnum bottles. And first of all, you realize that they're the same bottles that you saw in the secret room in the wine cellar? When you look closer, you realize that inside them,

there's not wine, but tiny motorcycles. What? I go to check it. Blavin' like puts his hand over, and I hate to be the one to tell you not to drink something, but if you drink that, you will have a full-size motorcycle in your stomach. Do not drink motorcycle.

I do have an notoriously weak stomach. You can't even slip in jam. It actually might not be about your stomach this one. Really? Yeah. Yes, I think that there's no constitution role you could do that would save you from having a motorcycle in your stomach.

Yes, especially when I don't really like celtzer. It's a bit too bubbly. Well, that's on you. It's delicious. I love coconut flavor myself. Anyway, these are what we call bottle bikes. And if you break the bottle, the motorcycle will poof out into a full-sized bike

that you can ride, and that will help you navigate the Ginerac landscape a little more quickly. And if you can make it to the mountain, you should be able to avoid any permanent damage from the toxicity. So this is kind of a smash and grab mission as it were. Okay. Rad is health. It should be pretty rad actually. Yeah, I feel.

It seems pretty rad. How many feet does the bottle bike go? Because I recently leveled up and I have a little something called fly What what that's right bitches. I can fly All right, well, I'll explain as the DM they use war horse stats Modified war horse stats, so they oh that's cool So they have AC 15 and 20 HP for simplicity you can use all your own stats for controlling them What about their speed their speed is 60 60 feet. Okay, same as fly so I might as well use the bottle bike because that sounds a lot more fun But could you make the bottle bike fly? Yes, it would be perhaps I don't know

We'll see what the two are actually question that she would ask you I love playing with my uncle. Good question, Uncle. Can I make the bottle back fly? I think we might need to do like an arcana to see if that'll work. We'll see if it's something that I could, because I only have two spells lots of days so I wouldn't necessarily use it anyways.

You know what I think would be cool? Is maybe we'll do our conno rolls and you can make it like jump super high. And you can kind of do like a glide or something like that. Cause I do think that like controlling more mass with a fly spell might be hard. But again, I don't know that I would do it because like I said, I only have two spell slots

per short rest. So it would, I don't, I wouldn't waste one on flavor. As much as I want to. I don't want to stand in your way of making a motorcycle fly. I'll say that. Can I make mine fly? I have no spell or special ability,

but I just really, really want it. While you were talking, you spilled jam all over your motorcycle. How did you do that? Instantly slip. Where did you go? Oh. Oh. Whoa.

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Jam doesn't dry. Just stay down. Okay, so we're approaching Ginerak. You look out the port hole and you kind of see like a red swirling cloud kind of surrounding this entire mass. In the center of it, you see a very tall mountain, but like obviously there's like a lot of storm clouds and stuff and you can't really fly into it. So you kind of duck in underneath a less cloudy area where there's like a bit of a breakthrough

in the coverage, and the plane starts kind of flying parallel with the ground. And we're gonna parachute out in our bikes. The cargo bay door opens up. So we're about ready to go. Did you have any more questions or anything from me? Oh, I should probably grab that crystal from you. I, too late, I break the bottle

and I get on the bike and I get out. And I follow you. We're too late, I break the bottle and I get on the bike and I get out. Can I follow you? You're gonna talk about this! I'm toxic. I'm just a thinnest. I'm just a thinnest. I'm just a thinnest. I'm just a thinnest.

Okay. So, you deploy your bottle bikes, ramp out the back of the plane, and onto the harsh shaft ground below. As you do, you can feel the toxic bite of Ginerac's unforgiving atmosphere. Um, as I just said, I throw obsidian into his little carrying case, which is like one of those cat carrying cases that has like a little bubble window. So like,

he's not exposed to the elements, but he could still watch. That's so good. It's also sound proof so no one can hear his hideous voice Cool, so are you already to plummet then yeah hell yeah have we had time to rest was that like yes in the amount of time Okay, this has been a long flight so you did have time to fully rest you can have your spell thoughts back You're up to full hp great everything's back. You're all good great everybody go ahead and give me a constitution roll We Oh You're all good. Great. Everybody go ahead and give me a Constitution roll. Wait. Oh, go. What you get?

I get an eight. Yeah. Fifteen. Sixteen. Okay. You're all good for now. The way toxicity is going to work is there is a counter that's going to be building the entire time.

Currently the DC is two. So you're all good for that toxicity. Oh yeah. I see. I I see it. Go! That is what! Hey, I'm the soda. There's soda.

Welcome to my system of a downroll process. D20 system of a down. Well, first things first. Wake up. I feel like Gens could be a little goth. Oh, definitely. I think he's becoming a little guy. Sort of like best from lip-biscuits.

Yeah, I'm blaring system of a down, but not moving at all to it, just listening to it and not showing you guys any sign that I'm having fun or being pumped. You're still wearing your like black sergeant pepper look from the club, right? Yeah, looks good. And I have a scarf over my face.

I'm still wearing my pantsuit. Still got the pantsuit at my aunt's? Would the club, right? Yeah, looks good. And I have a scarf over my face. I'm still wearing my pantsuit. Still got the pantsuit with my outfit. And warding sleeves. No shirt, but I have some new bad tattoos. I was letting that. What do you have time to get these? Check it, give me a stick and poke while we're right. I'm at the vineyard, yeah.

Okay, so now you are hot on the trail of Drac Spawn Mountain. You can see it far in the distance, but you've got a lot of ground to cover. I'm grown, baby. We're gonna be doing a lot of checks. Sweet, first of all, here we go. I'm ready. What type of terrain is this?

Oh, oh yeah, maybe like NIAC, you should, since you're a ranger, maybe you can like get a sense for us. So we know like what direction is gonna be like the least muddy or something like that. It's so funny to be going so fast and motorcycles just be yelling at you. This sounds just like, nah, yeah, you're a ranger. Where are we going? Let's say that we're trying to smell, but we're moving too fast. Let's say that we discussed this on the long flight over. But yes, this is rocky desertistrain. Yes.

Nack, I know you have a newly discovered Ranger ability that allows you to kind of pick a favorite mark or a favorite victim. I've got favorite enemy and then also natural explorer, I think, which lets me have advantage on survival checks in certain terrain, but I do believe that my favorite terrain is, it would be the jungle promptly, right? Yeah, the jungle. Okay. Well, that Well, I feel like I can't take advantage of

your, you can't, it is a perfectly sealed vacuum packed trap. You find yourself yelling over the engines. Well, honestly, my favorite terrain is probably the jungle. Skitting out in gym. Hey, Let's do icebreakers real quick! Okay, so yes, as you're driving, you very quickly come upon some extremely rocky terrain. Nestle amidst the rubble is the wreckage of a very familiar looking motorcycle, as well as the sun bleached bones of one of your long dead, unfortunate co-workers.

Everyone give me a dexterity saving throw. Oh, someone died here and they were serious. 13. 13. 16. That was 10 and 13. Yeah. Okay, you both fail. You are slowed by the Rocky terrain. Which means that the toxicity counter is going to go up twice. So it's going to be at six now. Oh, so it's like accumulated cumulated like the more we breathe it, the more got it. Okay. Okay. So we slow down and we breathe them more than vapors. Mm-hmm. If either of us, I look at Gens as we side by side, bike next to each other. If either of us eats it, I'll cast fly on us and then we can leave the toxic vapors.

You look right above you and you see a massive swirling cloud just surrounding this entire continent and you realize that probably will not work. I just loudly say, uh huh. I dig it back. So Jins and Onyx, your DC is gonna be six for toxicity checks. Niant, you're at four.

So everyone give me a roll again. God dammit, I'm rolling so bad now. Seven. Whoa, 17. 12th. Great, all right cool. I y'all resist it right shake it off Y'all try to do a system of it down I'm going to all need to do face masks after this. We are absorbing so many toxins. Oh believe me I have a black head one of you one of you can yeah, that's your one big one Looks like a tattoo, but it is not.

One big bump. One big bump. Dead to my boy. Cool it everyone. I'm sensitive about it. All right, so you drive for a little bit more. The whole thing feels like a 90s music video. It's like red filtered,

because of the sky above. So you're just kicking up all this red dust It feels like you're on Mars or something. I've switched it to the boys of summer the Tari's version Nobody on the road Put him on the beach. I think while this is happening, I'm letting some tears stream into my wake, thinking about what I just relive in my parents. You know, the combination of the song, think about my parents.

I'm looking at my lack of Instagram followers and I'm also crying. I think just tears blowing off our face so fast. Blavin is like desperately trying to text you on the coin, being like, you still got that crystal. Ha ha, wall. I've got to get crystal from you. I take the, I see the phone, I got a throat over my shoulder,

but then I remember my trinstagram and I'm like, no, I need that. Just to clarify, the coin and your speaking stone are two different things. Oh, okay. Yeah, cool. So you could throw the coin away. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, things. Oh, okay. Yeah, cool. So you could throw the coin away. I don't know if it's going to go into the coin.

I'm going to throw the coin. Okay, everyone give me a perception check. Oh boy. Okay, time to roll to it. Please, God damn it. Six, six or no. 20, 20 but non-natural. That's okay.

17. Great, all right. Thanks to Niaganonix. You make it pass. Dragon, don't call Dragon. Yeah, roll better idiot. Fuck off. I better luck. I just not just totally in my own head. I take that burglary because I'm an ass- Shut up! Yeah! As the land flattens out again, you see several figures approaching you on either side. As they grow closer, you see that they appear to be a cobald motorcycle gang. They all wear studded leather and have done their best to apply black makeup to their beaky faces. On the back of their matching jackets,

you can just make out the phrase, Zard Chargers. As they come closer, they hoist their spears menacingly and begin to chant. Until they started speaking, there was something alluringly no-mish about them, but then I heard their voice Everybody roll initiative oh Nyak who are those guys? 21 all righty are we gonna be doing essentially drive-by? It's like are we okay cool? This is a driving battle 14. I also got a 14 is the time for a roll-off brother. Yeah roll off 21 23 I got a now 20 on the roll-off

Which I didn't waste it you just get to go before gents Okay, I got a roll for some folks I like to think Jensen Nyak are just going way too fast on their motorcycles racing each other. Ah! Two guys on a jet ski. It's like, it's getting really choppy, brother. Ooh! Okay, so the cobalt's rolled and they're gonna go after you.

Okay. First and foremost, toxicity is up to six for Niack and then eight for Jens and Onyx. Everyone give me rolls on that yikes Another net 20 10 10. I got a 10 to yeah, that's good right? Yeah, we're okay y'all all clear You are not poisoned yet my scarf is getting filthy though I'm just like taking it off and furiously flapping it. Did you offer them scarves? I know you have a lot I eat their my scarves you have so them scarves? I know you have a lot. They're my scarves. You have so many scarves.

I'm bringing into a glove. So many scarves, they're all on your wrist. Yes, I need to look cool. And you do. Okay, y'all are driving, you're kicking up dust, you're flanked on either side. There are six bikes, so there's three cobalt in either side of you, but you notice that on two of the bikes there are side cars with extra cobalt in them and

they are reaching into big nasty sacks and looking at you menacingly. Onyx it's your turn. I'm going to go for a side car bike and I'm going to attack one of the cobalt's who is trying to reach into a sack. Do it up, what are you gonna attack with? Just my malls. Just your mall? Is he gonna do a big whack? Does it, 25 hits? That hits.

Ha ha ha. It's going to be 11. Nope. No. 12. And then I'm going to attack again. So I hit 12 to the little side card, baby. Okay.

I was gonna see, look. He, baby. Okay. I was he look He looks very hurt and very upset that he's not gonna get to show you what's in his bag Don't let him do anything cool on it There's a lot of funny things in here. I reach again Stop the fun another 25 to hit okay, and this time I hit him for 10 My cool bag He dies can I show him in the bag and then toss him into our weight? Yes. Okay, all right.

So you're up next to him, we'll say. You've swung around towards the sidecar. You've killed this little cobalt inventor in the sidecar. Throw him into the bag. Toss the bag over my shoulder. So you're gonna toss the bag in front so that it blocks the path of the cobalt that are driving? Yeah, I like throw the bag at a couple other cobalt. Okay, great. To try and catch it in the spokes of their motorcycle. I am going to roll a D8 and we're

gonna see what comes out of the bag. Okay, so you throw this bag, the dead cobalt lands and kind of rolls and the other motorcycles Swerve to avoid it. I love the thought of a dead cobalt. The whack. But the other thing that was in the bag was a big green pot of slime which spills into a five foot radius slick pit. Ha ha ha ha. And three of the drivers are now gonna need to make Dexterity throw is to try and avoid swarming and hatching. Yeah.

Cool. Hit the pit. You will see if they hit the pit, but first it is Nyax turn. Are cobalt's beasts? No. They're not. They're big humanoids. They're beast to me.

But nonetheless, I do not get to add anything. I was about when they're in beast mode. Are they in beast mode? They don't go beast mode to go. They wake up in beast mode. They actually go sicko mode, not beast mode. I see. It's very similar, but different enough.

I will say, y'all do have a true shot monocle, which allows you to basically get advantage on a named foe. Yes. I will say, I'm gonna retcon this a little bit that that only works once a day, like once per mission essentially. So once you've declared that, it needs time to recharge, I'll say.

So if you wanna use it on one of these cobalts, or if you wanna save it, it's up to you. I think we should save it. Yeah, yeah. Alrighty, screaming over the motorcycles. Save it! I put the modicle back in my pocket And then I unnecessarily stand up on the motorcycle

Drive my boat. I hold my hand out and I drive Grabbing I'm grabbing a video of this for my turn No, everyone like a dot-racky war screamer Okay, all right do your roll, but I am gonna need an athletics or acrobatics check on that. I'll give you an athletics check. Wait, or no, no, give me an acrobatics check on that, bud. You said athletics too.

What about a dexterity shaving throw? Oh, let's do it. Here's the thing. No, if you were a hard one, you could do athletics because you could squeeze the motorcycle with your thighs. But since you're a thin twig of a boy like NIAC, I think you're gonna need to do acrobatics. Well, I'm on the motorcycle with both my feet planted. I feel respect the DM to it.

Do it. You are so... Jake, really? Jake, take a lap. It's close. Let's go outside. Okay, take a steam, Jake. They're both plus three. Drink some milk. I rolled the tin. You rolled a tin. Period? Yes. Okay. Can I try to help him?

I, I, I, um, You're in Barthogus, British. Oh, I know, Sue, but you can't. It is, yeah, I can't do it until my turn. All right, with a tin, you start wobbling. Oh, no You don't totally fall. I'm not that cruel, but I do think you sacrifice your turn

Jesus Christ, Uncle for trying to add a little flavor to the fight I didn't realize you wanted me to just sit on the book and watch my motorcycle I'm gonna cycle. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back. I refuse, I spin out. I'm gonna go back. I refuse, I spin out. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back.

I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back.

I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back.

I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. I'll do it a minute. You essentially start to stand up. Your bike starts wobbling furiously and then you have to sit back. I think it only started wobbling because you tried to steer it. Actually, here's the thing.

I will allow you to do another role, double or nothing. If you, I like this. Here's how this is gonna work. You can either try and save and just like plan on the bike or you can like kick the bike and use it to knock off one of the other cobalt, and then you'll have to jump onto Jens's bike.

Don't, I'll do that. All right. Ha ha ha ha. Do it up. Wait, what are you doing? This is a roll to jump onto Jens's bike. This is another agrobatic roll. I'm back at a present really. I have a bag of really expensive clothes behind me.

If I roll bad enough, I'll knock my brother off his bike. If you roll bad enough, I'll just say that you just kind of wobble and lose your turn. If you roll well, you jump off your bike, kick the other bike, and take out one of the co-bolts. So you don't. 21. 21? Yeah. Hell yeah. All right, so slow motion.

You're wobbling on the bike. You see yourself about to lose balance. You grab the handlebars, like flip the bike into the air, kick off of it, some are salt through the air, land in the back seat on Jens' bike. No, what? My bag of expensive clothes. I have like a nice Gucci bag that flies off.ens' bike. No, what? My bag of expensive clothes. I have like a nice Gucci bag that flies off.

It's gone. No. Why did you have time to go to the helix? It's a swing around. And you take out one of the cobalts. Hell yeah, nice. Alrighty. I'm going to do that my next turn.

Is there room for three on that bike? There's plenty. It's just like the apart. No, I will make you walk. All right, so you've taken out one inventor and one cobalt. That's great. I put up with so much with you kids. Okay, uh, Jens, it's your turn. Sweet. Um, so, uh, are there any left, any guys left that have a sidecar?

There's one sidecar left. Sweet. I am going to cast at a second level a sleep spell on the guy driving. Oh, the guy driving this, that's very fun. So it does creatures within a 20 feet of a point that I choose within range. So the range is 90 feet. So it's, I'm just going to pick right on top

of one of these guys that's driving. I don't know if the other Guys are with if any other guys are within 20 feet or not with 20 feet. Hmm. I think one more is within 20 feet. Okay, great So I just roll Since I'm casting it on the second level I'll roll 78s and Going up from lowest hit points to highest that many people fall asleep. Oh, okay, if it takes away all the hit points Otherwise, it doesn't affect them. Oh, oh, that's takes away all the hit points, otherwise it doesn't affect them. Oh, oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, it's not just like a DC roll, interesting. Right, okay. Okay. Oh boy. Ooh, okay. 26 HP, 26. All right, so yes, the inventor in the sidecar falls asleep. The driver gets a little drowsy,

swears a bit, but then shakes it off, like a dad who's desperate to get to, you know, the football game. Right. Dad, we don't have to do this. No, just be tired when you get there. It's a road trip. We're going to Cincinnati. We can just stop.

We're gonna see the bingles. We can stop in Cleveland, dad. The game's not till tomorrow. I am going to look at Onyx and give her some bardic inspiration. Nice, just by being like, I respect that you could stay on your own motorcycle. I'm going to use that bardic inspiration to join you.

I would not be smart from a strategic standpoint, but if you all throw on a motorcycle, I'll give you something for it. It's very cute. Oh, boy, it's Cobbalt turns. Yay. Alrighty So we got One sleepy cobalt one sleepy little boy one sleepy little Zard and then five fully awake big chunks Yeah, I'm thinking maybe go into some slime. Oh

Yes, I think you're I have to three of them need to make decks checks. Don't forget them. I have to. Three of them need to make decks checks. All right, I'm going to need to kind of just homebrew this a little bit. I'm going to set it at DC12 to make it through this slime un-enhindered, sweet. First one.

Fails. Yeah. Kids out in the slime. Second one. Passes. Keeps pursuing. Second one. Passes, keeps pursuing. Third one, I respect that one. Fails. Yeah.

So two are delayed. So that means there's like two that have fallen back but are gonna be trying to get back. I'll make them do another check. And then two are still pursuing. Are we down to four? We're down to four, right? There's four left, one is asleep, and then you've got two that are

pursuing you because two just got stalled out in slime. Got it. All right, and those two are upset that you have messed with their buds. Don't you don't mess with our crew. Where the zard chargers? Do you guys are you guys are motorcycles run on blood? Do you guys like breathing this toxic air you freaks? We love it. This is basically drugs to us. We're high all the time Do you guys like system of a down? It's one of our favorite bands. Oh, they're no disturbed. What are you gonna do? That's pretty cool. I just quietly keep driving my motorcycle. Hey, what kind of makeup do you use? You know just I like to use a little eye shadow. That's pretty good. Hey, thanks. How do you get the lipstick looking so good? Arz always gets wrong.

Yeah, because you're a lizard. He just eat practices at Sephora. Whenever we see a Sephora, he's always like, I just need 20 minutes. Yes, well, you don't have to follow me everywhere. You two are there. You don't need to over share it. Hi.

Sometimes less is more. You're all stalking me. You look like you pay full price for your makeup instead of shoplifting it like we do Yeah, I don't shop lived huh what a loser Part of the capitalist machine and I'm gonna kill you all right Jins since you Sent this guy's buddy to sleep sure to an early nap time. He's gonna try and strike you great. I was gonna use his spear

Does a 19 hits super hits. Alrighty. Can I flip him off? I asked and I act to flip him off for me so I can keep both hands on the handlebars. I flip him off Flip him off. Use one of his gloves to yes. Challenge them to a duel back Fumbling with the back Fute gloves following all over the place. No, no, no, no Open it low open it low You take four damage on the first attack. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, open it low. Open it low. You take four damage on the first attack. OK.

Don't worry, we have a lot of gloves. Ooh, shout out to the two crew. He misses you. You know what happens? Your scarf is waving, and it distracts him, and he stabs where the scarf is. Ha-ha. That's a cool scarf.

Hey, thanks. You ruined it. No, it looks cooler now. It's a tatter. You stupid lizard with lipstick. All right, that's the first one. Second one's going to attack us well. They're going to swoop over. You know what?

Since y'all are on the same motorcycle, they're going to try and do a two for one deal, but they're going to go for Niac. Seven's going to miss, I'm lining up the motorcycle. So the attack now I can stay. Get him off. Twenty is gonna hit. You honor me brother. Oh. I like to think you're just like so much bigger than me. Just this big meaty dude arms around my waist. Just like this very slight element. That's gonna be- You're crushing me, I can't breathe.

That's gonna be five damage. Oh, okay, cool. That's all of the cobalt that can attack you now. But as you keep driving, you see an enormous dust storm approaching. It's massive hourglass shape twists seductively and beckons you to accept its challenge. What do you do?

Oh, it's beautiful, brother. Wow, that is a sexy storm. I almost think we should give ourselves over to it. You know, surrender. It's really kind of doing that little like Hula Girl on the car window thing. A storm with curves. That is a thick, thick funnel.

My ideal storm. I pump up toxicity and I give Nayak one earbud and then I plow forward towards it. I slide my waist back just a little bit so my brother cannot feel what's happening. What are you doing back there now? I'm just trying to reposition myself. All right, so are you all going towards the storm? I think we'll go towards it, but I'm not trying to,

I'm trying to like ride around it, I think. Okay, I will say by going around it, you're gonna raise your toxicity meter? Yeah, let's just go towards it. I kind of think that we should just go into it and see if it just shoots us up like a geyser. I want a mad mask. Yeah, we're gonna try to do some cool stuff.

Okay, so wait, are you going through it? Yeah, yeah, cool. Everyone give me a Constitution role to see if you can withstand the buffeting sands 14 okay, I got an 11, but I'm going to add the hit that I mean This is a D8 yeah So 12 I only got an eight Eight ooh, but I'm on jen's motorcycle if that helps done So you all enter the storm and are just instantly slammed by all these Microdermal abrasion winds. Oh, oh no, what if it smooths out my crazy

aboriginal abrasion winds. Ooh, oh no, what if it smooths out my gray dirt? No, my gray dirt. No, I think it like deepens them. It might get rid of my black head. It does get rid of your black head. Oh, so might your pods fly out? No, my roll is for the black head. So that's gonna boost the toxicity for each of you by four.

Niac, you're at 10, Jens and Onyx, you're at 12. All right. So confirmed it did not geyser us up into the air. Did not geyser you up in the air? Where's the try? All of the cobalts are gonna have to make constitution rules as well. Good, I just get lost forever.

Everyone give me a toxicity rule though. Nice. 17. 10. 10. 20. 20. All right, everyone passes except for Onyx.

A roll of D6, I'll do that. Down in my fate. You take four poison damage. Oh, you rolled it. Okay, four poison damage. Oh! All right. I know how it feels to be Nyak.

Fine, Onyx is always a queasy. I throw Onyx scarf. Oh. Don't get it dirty. You have to wash it when you're done. I don't know what to do with it, so I just put it around my head like so I look cool. No! Awesome! I take my brother's scarf that's flapping around his neck and I tie it at the end around my head. No, we're not to be neck-erf. We share a scarf as we share blood.

Now you guys aren't connected, but I might come into play if Nye gets to fall off. Oh good, I have to buy this car. Just like pulls my neck out and I die. She just breaks my neck as I'm a beautiful death. So I'm going to say that two of the cobalt's trying to pursue you into the cloud, into the storm. Not the one with the sidecar though. The two ones that don't have any side cars are going to try and chase you down in the storm One of them rolls a seven so they are lost forever in this storm Niack flip them off. I can't see him waving my middle finger around everywhere and the other one rolls It's him so you lost two more in the storm great. Yes, so I think what happens is they get lost in the storm

So you lost two more in the storm, great work. Yes. So I think what happens is they get lost in the storm. The other two finally get out of the slime and they're like, oh shit, we're not going through that. So they're going to take a wide birth. They're going to miss you for a turn, but they are coming for you. Sweet. Okay, but I couldn't I do something from afar to them.

Yeah, you've got a turn where you're just kind of like riding on pretty, pretty smooth terrain for a turn. Okay. And I see two in the distance. Yeah. I was wondering, my mantle of them off. Can I use that on them? It's probably too far off to do that. You got Elge or Tglass, right?

Yeah, it does a lot. That's right. Can I, boom. Yeah, go after the guys, or they don't have side cards, right? These guys are doing one as a side card. One as a side card. I'm going to shoot the fucking driver of the side card one. Yeah, I'm going to try and Elge or Tglass, the driver of guys are just one as a side card. One as a side card. I'm actually blasting it. I'm just blasting it. I'm a side card one. Yeah, I'm gonna try and Eldridge blast

the driver of the side card one. Okay, what's the range on that? 120 feet. Okay, that's like just gonna do it. So yeah, give it a shot. Yeah, 18. 18 hits. Woo!

Oh, 15. 15. Nice. All right, finish him. Oh yeah, dope dude. Okay, well, I don't, I think, eldritch blast, basically when I do it, it looks like a ray of Lisa Frank is like coming out of my hand.

So I want to say that I like produce like a really colorful unicorn and then it just kicks him off. It doesn't like pierce him with his horn? No, like really, like he does like a soccer kick and like bicycle kick. How do you get a bicycle kick the driver off? It's so unexpected from the unicorn. He flies off like he's attached to a bungee cord

somewhere else. Oh. The other cobalt wakes up just in time to see what's going on. Because they were asleep from Jens' spell and they fully just crash and burn Wow, I love that you made him wake up to witness his own death Wake me up was playing Wake me up wake me up inside

I can't wake up I'm a unicorn just kind of like winks at you then fades away. Yeah, nicely done. Does anyone else want to do anything on this free turn? Oh, yeah. You know what? Nye, can you hold for me? Yes, anything. I'm gonna cast true strike on you and I'm gonna give you some inspiration. Brother, I've waited my entire life for this moment. Jins, are you like lifting your hands up so that Nia can put his hands on the wheel? I'm doing it so he could shoot his bow at the... okay. Cool, so you've only got one cobalt chasing you down now.

They kind of like close in diagonally on you and they're really mad that you killed all their friends. They have big plans later tonight. Does Nia get to go? Yeah, is it? Oh yeah. Yeah, Nia, did you want to do something on this free turn? Yes, I would like to aim my bow and arrow at this guy. So you have true strike and if you roll bad, you got your barric inspiration. Okay. What's the other one? What's true strike? It's just advantage on your attack. Cool. I draw my string right next to your ear.

Cool. I draw my string right next to your ear. Right. I aim my bow by going around your neck and I inspire you by saying, yes, shoot him brother. The B word that night has been desperate to hear. It takes everything to steady my hand. I'm breathing butter finger BB to turn your back. Oh, okay.

It's still in the back here. It's still in the side of your cheek. You both are like half of one per day. I don't know how to just all I eat. Stinky on your breath. That's a 27 to hit. Wow, shit. I love my brother.

You pull it back and aim so fucking true. Really damage. Yes, I rolled the highest you can with a D8. That's 12 damage. Well, damage. They take it. This one's got a little more leather on. So it hits and it hurts, but they're still up and they're still pursuing. I shall take another. Shoot in. Notch it. Yes. 25. Nice. Wow. Another eight. Another 12 damage. Okay. They are starting to look a little hurt and they start like taking the blood that's pouring out of them and like using it to add makeup to their face and it kind of gets some pumped a little bit. Oh, I'm jealous. Okay. This guy's kind of rad. Yeah.

We think. And I flip him off. Oh, oh, I. Okay, this guy's kind of rad. Yeah. What do you think? I'm gonna act flip him off. Oh, if I let go of you for too long, I might look at you. Ball. Okay, so that's your free turn. The other cobalt, despite taking these arrows, manages to catch up with you. Everyone give me one more toxicity roll. It's gonna be 12 for Niac and then 14 for Jens and Annahs now.

Yikes. Another Nat 20. Fucking Nat one. Oh, not one? Yeah. 11. 11? All right, Jens and Onyx, you both take a D6 of poison damage.

If you wanna roll that. Okay. Oh, I got all six. Oh, Yikes. It's okay. Jens also farted ahead of you, I think. I breathe in mostly Niac's arm sweat sweat, and his butter finger beanie mouth. And I take a point of damage from that. So, as you're driving, trying to outpace this cobald, you see the ruins

of a large city approaching fast. To the left is a collapsed beam leading to a series of roof tops. To your right, there's an opening leading into an abandoned subway and straight ahead you see a long path leading towards a narrow bridge tunnel Where do you want to go? Three two we go underground it might be less toxic. Yeah, we'll go underground underground underground. Okay, you're going underground Yeah subway all right great. You're all going underground. Yep. Cool. You floor it towards the subway. After jittering down a long flight of steps, you find yourself vibrating against my brother. You hear the cobalt behind you?

Everyone can just be quiet. It's okay to not talk. You find yourself in an abandoned railway tunnel. After traveling for a bit, you see a faint glint of metal in the distance. It's okay to not talk. You find yourself in an abandoned railway tunnel. After traveling for a bit, you see a faint glint of metal in the distance. Everyone give me a investigation check. Yikes. I got a six.

Yeah, I also got a six. What is that metal? Would you get? An 11. Yeah, it looks like shiny metal to y'all. You have a bardic inspiration. Ooh. C-A-A. No, A- like shiny metal to y'all. You have a party Conspiration. Ooh. T.A. No, E.A.

Oh, yeah, dude. 19. Nice. I have D8, dude. Up ahead, you see there's a side track that is blocked off by a metal gate. And next to the gate is a large lever. Do you want to pull it? No. No, just kidding. We should wait till both of us get through, right?

Or the both motorcycles get through, right? In case it's something that opens, does it open a gate for us to go through? Or does it open a gate? It's a side track. It looks like it opens a side track. Yeah, I think he has to pull it to open. Got it. Okay. Do you want to open it? Secret path.

Are you shooting an arrow at it to try and open it before you pass or you waiting until you pass in the opening it? I guess shooting it if I can. Okay, great. Hell yeah. So you notch an arrow and easily shoot this lever. It swings up and the gate creaks upward and a large sever alligator, which is exactly what it sounds like. Several alligators smushed together, leaps out at you, it's several mouths crunch down on what looks like a humanoid femur, and then it launches towards you. You're tricks me, don't call. Team 21. Hey, pull my finger, you got dungle goof. Shit. Everyone give me a DC-10 saving throw. Okay, Dex, yeah, Dex save, sorry, yeah. 14.

I got 10, does that mean I saved? Yeah. Oh, so you all saved, great. I'm gonna see if the cobalt chasing you saves from this subaralligator as well. Fail. Ah, they got just enough, wait, yep, they got just enough to save as well.

So who saved, does that mean that we soar over the alligator in our motorcycle? Yes. Hell yeah! All the jaws are like snapping at you, like, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta- Alex, no! Thank you. You're eating it for a month. This is all I wanted. You'll never be hungry again. That's not how these work. I feel so sad. You all have magic pills.

You all have terrible diets. I'm gonna do more charity work now. Perhaps we should force Jens to eat one. No, of course. We're talking to BBs. I wish he would. His complexion is quite a... he needs it. It's far too clear.

He needs the nutrients. He's far too clear. So, as the Savralgator is like munching happily along this BB, the other cobalt rides up along its tail and ramps off of it, and is still in pursuit of you. Sick. So... Come at me, I'll call you bro, but you are not my brother.

So you're all speeding down this darkened tunnel and the cobalt is fast approaching one more turn of combat Okay, actually before we do that toxic check it's gonna be 14 and then 16 for Jens on a shout out to the two crew Boy in core four D6. I fail again. Yep, take a D6 of damage. You fail. I only take a damage. Hey, go. I took two.

Okay. Alright. Cool. Onyx, it's your turn if you want to try and take down this lone remaining cobalt. I most certainly do. Bring it. Bring it on. Come on.

Okay, that's going to be a 27. Whoo. It's going to hit. You strike him. He didn't for 11. Okay, great am I second attack 21 that hits I Rolled two ones, but I still hit him for seven. He is barely hanging on to this motorcycle Nice. All right, Niack

Can you hold your turn so that I can true strike you again? Because I can't do much from afar. Oh, I sit tight and squeeze my brother No need to squeeze Squeeze I'll cast true strike on him. It's a can trip so I can just kind of do that. Wow. That's a great can trip I'll use the 19 that'll do cool. I'm pretty sure you're gonna finish him so finish him I Stand up on gonna finish him so finish him. I stand up on my motorcycle. My brother's gonna start to wobble. Don't do this on mine.

I put my foot on my brother's shoulder to steady. I'm okay. I, I, I, I told my motorcycle nearby in case he needs to jump off and fall onto mine. Okay. Everyone needs to fall onto mine. I, John Claude Van Dam between both motorcycles. Beautiful.

You do it flawlessly and I loose an arrow. You lose the arrow. The cobalt is like, whoa, he's vandamming. And the arrow splits right between his eyes. So the last sight he sees is your beautiful split. Vandamm, Daniel. As you do that, are your balls just hanging down a little bit? They are.

I would like to start moving my motorcycle towards Onyx's and then push Niaq on Onyx's motorcycle and then rev up and go forward. Oh. Oh. Oh. Can I use my Maygen to put him back on? Oh.

Jen, you lost something that matters very much to you. How could I forget by a dear brother? Thank you, Onyx. I'm bread-browning your debt. So, you speed through the darkened tunnel for a bit longer, until you see daylight pouring through a rupture, you jet up a ramp of collapsed concrete, and are once again above ground. You see Mt. Draxpon looming ever closer,

but as you speed towards it, you realize that it's actually an enormous island separated from you by a large ravine. It's too late to turn back now, you're all gonna have to try and jump it. Hell yeah. Oh yeah! Everyone give me a raw intelligence check

to see if you can push your bike to its goddamn limit. Wee. I'm actually not on a bike. So you're good. You can just sit back. Just relying on Jen. I'll let you, you know what, you can squeeze Jen's to give him inspiration. I got it in 11. Okay.

11. Okay, okay. It's my brother's ear. You can do this. I literally just rolled him out one. Okay. I passed by on Jen. Oh, yes. All right. Okay. Oh, I passed by on Jen. Oh, yes, all right, all right.

Okay, here's what happens. This is gonna be good. This is another slow-mo moment. Onyx with a 10, you ramp off. 11. With an 11, you ramp off and are making it towards the other side, but all of a sudden you start to fall before you reach it.

So you jump off your bike to reach the other side, but all of a sudden you start to fall before you reach it So you jump off your bike to reach the other side you are flipping upside down You look back and see that Jens is totally beefing it harder than he's ever beefed it before It's a Wendy's goddamn sandwich over there. I'm beefing it. I cast fly on Jens. I grab Nyak. God damn it You grab him like I told you you could do it brother. Oh my God! You're so, we are totally falling right now. So, Onyx, you kind of like scrambled to grab the edge of the cliff.

You see Jens and Niac like Peter panning over the edge. So beautifully. Thinking only good thoughts. Jens, Jens, so it doesn't go to your head, that was me. No, we're like Buzz and Woody. That's even better. It's Florida that it wasn't him, it inspired his brother to fly. Cool, so you all make it to the foot of Mount Draxbond.

You survey the enormous dormant volcano that stands before you. It's so tall that the highest point actually pierces through the thick red cloud barrier that gives Ginnarek its signature coloration. The mountain is comprised of one large summit and four smaller peaks that surround it like the towers of a castle. Three of these towers seem to have crumbled, but the one nearest used still stands. As you get closer to it, you see that this smaller mountain has a massive stone archway carved into it,

and was clearly used as the primary entrance to this fortress. The doors of the archway, which now lie in large, shattered pieces nearby, seemed to have been ripped off by someone on a hurry long ago. Everyone give me a perception check. 16. 20. Not not. 18. Oh, great. So the first thing you notice is that there are skeletons everywhere. They're not enchanted. They're not zombies.

They're just straight up corpses and there are hundreds of them. Some hold swords and staffs. Others wear the charred remains of armor, but all are dead. You don't exactly know what happened here, but you get the sense that whatever did this was beyond the power of anything you've ever encountered. Most of these corpses seem pretty picked over, but near the entrance, you find a trio of relatively fresh ones. Do you want to investigate them? Yeah, I carelessly loot them. Ah, this must be team 21. I just like pick up a corpse by the ankles and just start shaking them. I use my geology background to sort of gently and tenderly investigate the bones.

So you like put them in a rock tumbler? Yes, and I make jewelry with it, which we know is what a egeologist does with their degree. Actually, do give me an investigate or a medicine check. 19. 19. That's very good. The first thing you see is that one of these explorers is holding a copper coin.

One of the faces has the benefactor on it, and the other side has the number of 21. You also see a couple potions. I'm going to see how many are still intact. Ooh, three of them are still intact. They are potions of greater healing if you want to take those. But, Onyx, you also notice, I'm glad that you did this role, one of them is still breathing. Very shallowly, one of them is still breathing. Is it not the one my brother shook out by the ankles? I can cast a, a cast healing word on them.

Before you do that, Anx, you're the only one that noticed that any of them are still alive. Okay, then I'm so sorry, I'm gonna shove a potion of greater healing. No, you're not. What you're gonna do is kill this person. They want what you want and we can't let them out of that, can we? Give me a wisdom rule.

I got a six. Does that mean I have to attack them? You move to attack him. Can we grab her? Yeah. Okay, I grabbed her arm. Onus. I was just making sure it was just cleaning, kind of trying to sweep up the bones and somewhat

aggressive. Is this person alive? Oh my gosh, are they? Oh, this person, oh my goodness, thank you so much for stopping me, what could have happened? You've got your friends on us. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop Did you see the good one? Yeah, give me five stars. Not another D&D podcast. Have you subscribed and told your friends? Yes, I gave them another rating because I really want that donkey Kong

Marshall that Murf said he's gonna run. 3000 reviews. Who's Murf? It's a character on my podcast anyway. Do you want to take a moment? Okay, you're acting strangely on it. We'll talk about that in a moment, but this person's about to die.

And while I don't have respect for the dead, I kick over one of the corpses and grab whatever money he has. I do feel bad about this poor person and I cast Healing Word on them. I kick over one of the corpses and grab whatever money he has. I do feel bad about this poor person and I cast healing word on them. Oh, cool. How much help do they get? It's probably, yeah, you're just gonna need to like stabilize.

Yeah, yeah. That is just seven. Seven, yeah. Okay. Yeah, they kind of pop up to seven HP. Oh, oh geez. That was a, Who are you? My name is Jenssel and Dell and I just saved your life. I'm the hero of the benefactor. Who are you? I'm Norwalk, you know, from Rana 4. And your other is this is a big gorilla. Do I know this gorilla? Give me a history.

It doesn't seem like I do our old three. Okay. Yeah, you don't know this gorilla? Give me a history. Doesn't seem like I do our old a three. Okay. Uh, yeah, you don't know this gorilla, they don't know you, but you both work for the benefactor. The noble Norwalk of the Renafor. Oh, he's an enemy. We actually should kill this one. No, no one from the Renafor. Wait, you're from Renafor? Yes, I'm Naya of Renafor.

Oh, wait, uh, you're, you're Ron's kid. I'm Ron's boy. Yeah, I think our dads know each other. Who's your dad? My dad is on another sheet, hold on. Oh, my father's a Brewster. Brewster. Yeah, you know Brewster, yeah.

Of course. He works at the bar. Brewster at the bar. Brewster at the bar. A proud noble gorilla. Any son of Brewster is a brother of mine and therefore a brother to Jen's. Onyx killed him. and a brother to Onyx

Another brother Norra gives you a worthy and brothers. Norra gives you all a big gorilla hug. I can't thank you enough for saving my life I guess I'll just like wait here. Are you guys going in there? Yeah? Why is it a bad news? I guess we didn't even make it in to be. I made it this far and I passed out. Oh, you passed out from the toxicity of the city? The toxicity of our cities, yeah, right? Well, it was partially the toxicity, but also, you know, we made it across that ravine and we just like crashed.

And I basically just smacked right into the mountain. You can see the record to my body. Shenz almost had a similar situation. It was close, but I dug deep. He dug deep in his friend Kestice. Yeah, you look like you did it without any help. Yeah. But I was a little bit...

He had a little help. A whispered word of encouragement. Well, we were obviously here to get the crystals. So I'll keep watch out here. How does that sound? Yeah. Oh, actually, that's a wonderful idea. Okay, cool.

Yeah, give us a... Can you call us on your coin too? Yeah, oh actually that's a wonderful idea. Okay cool. Yeah give us a can you call us on your, from your coin too? Yeah, yeah, testing, testing can you hear me? You can also DM us on Twitter. If you follow me on this class. Oh yeah, you probably follow me on this class. You should probably go for me. Yeah, my dad's broosters millions on there.

If you want to follow him and I'm a norwalk the walk. If you want to check me out. Oh, okay. Yeah, oh actually it says follow back. If you want to check me out. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, actually, it says follow back. So you do already follow me. Oh, yeah. Jensland Del official.

Oh my gosh, a clasp code. I'm clasp code. Yeah. In the flesh, wow. Did you post that video of me? Van Daming, yes. Yeah. We should probably proceed into this cave,

but if you do want to check your Instagram, this is definitely like the save point. Okay. Right. I think let's check your Instagram. What do I is definitely like the save point. Oh guys. Right. I think let's check your Instagram. What do I do to find out how many followers I gained? Just do a Roddy 20 roll first. I add nothing to it.

No, not yet. 15. Okay, now you add your charisma. 20! Ooh. All right, oh wow, 20. Okay, Onyx, you go to post the video and just to clarify, you have 9,260 new followers from last time.

Okay. So that puts you at 156,260 followers. You earn one gold for your new followers and next week you will get 0.001% of your total as gold, which should translate to about 15 new gold. Ah! And that's all going straight to the vineyard. as gold, which should translate to about 15 new gold. Ah! And that's all going straight to the vineyard. Ha ha ha! Sponsored postman, smile!

You are saving the vineyard with your Tristergroom! Ha ha ha! Oh, that's so much better than paying for some stupid apartment. Exactly, especially when I don't need to. Arguable. Okay, so you got a 20 on your new role. Uh, that's an amazing post. Nihac, you are my star. Uh-huh. Thank you. I would love to do like something for a snap on your new role. That's an amazing post. Nihag, you are my star.

Thank you. I would love to do like something for Snapple or Red Bull to earn you some gold for the vineyard. All the money that we earn will always go to your family's vineyard. I'm gonna go ahead and roll to see what your new follower count is. 93. Alright, 93 times a thousand. This is way better than regular Instagram. Wow, that post goes pretty much viral. You get 93,000 new followers. Holy shit. I comment on it.

Follow the real Jensen Del. Real Jensen Del. Jensen Del official. I'm a real Jensland. Jensland Ella, official. Some point we have to start rolling for how many followers are the real Jensland Ella? You have about 600 right now. If you want a role to draft off this success,

you're welcome to. No, I'm on vacation, I'm not working at the phone. Norwalks like, so will you guys gonna go on the cave? You just started checking your phones. Jens, three of us are circling. We said, you just started checking your phones. Jen's a three-physers circle. We sat this weekend with no phone weekend gang. We look like a bunch of people waiting for the check at brunch.

I walk into the cave. Okay, y'all, times wasting the air is growing. Increasingly toxic. Actually, give me one more check. It's gonna be 16, 18, and 18 now. I actually got it. Woo! 14. I got now. I actually got it. Ooh, 14. I got hit.

I got hit too. Only for two though. Two for me too. But you got those three potions now, so that's good. And now you walk into the cave. As you enter the earthen anti-chamber, a cold rush of pure air fills your faces. It seems the air in here is toxin-free, which is good, but your relief is short-lived.

Whereas you step further into the cave, you realize that this room is completely dark, save for the sunlight bleeding in through the doorway. What do you do? I do a perception check. Okay, give me a perception check with disadvantage unless you have dark side. Do I have dark vision?

I have dark vision. Oh, you have dark vision? Yeah, so great, give me a second check. Well, I got the two. Shout out to the two. Shout out to the two crew. So you squint, I feel like you can make out some shapes but nothing distinct.

I'll stealth up. You stealth up, great. Goddamn it, shout out to the two crew. So you're stealthing up. And as you do that, you hear a snide voice chuckle, and you all look up just in time to see a huge chandelier burst into flame, bathing the entire room in a sullen light. How was starting to think you normies would never show up? Are you from 4chan?

Standing on the chandelier is a young female cobalt clad in the same leather and makeup as the other bikers. She flicks a shock of feathery black hair out of her eyes, then unfolds two heavily pierced wings and glides down to the floor. I gotta applaud you for making it pass my Zard Chargers. Truly impressive. Although I suppose I should expect nothing less than the three basic barbarians that killed my mother.

After a moment of stun silence, you all realize that the teenager standing before you is none other than the daughter of the Pant suit clad cobalt you defeated in the dragon mouth cavern all those months ago. Well, this is awkward. I kind of shift in the margarita and blood stained Pant suit that I'm wearing. That's right, I'll take your shocked expressions as countenances of validity that you know what I'm talking about.

Yes, we killed your mom. She shot shit at us. Yes! She did, and she sucked and was an ass-hat, but she was still my mom. But this isn't about vengeance. I am Tukaru, daughter of Band-of, mistress of misery, leader of the Zarg Chargers, and I'm gonna take you three down. I throw a glove down. I already have the glove in my hands. I cast elemental weapon. Uh, so you start preparing for battle. She starts walking towards you. The only reason I'm here is because me and my gang were hired to find some dumb crystal.

And if I can avenge my mom while I'm at it cool that's all the better but the person that hired me said my instructions were clear if I encounter an elf his identical twin brother what's just a moon chick I'm supposed to kill him on site who hired you am I the identical to him, brother? Shut up. That's privileged information. And I don't got time for it.

You are so devil-made, care. I love it. She pulls out a dazzling jewel and kind of flicks it around her fingers. He know my idiot mom spent her whole life trying to find a dragon to worship. Which is bullshit because religion is fake. Am I right? But also why search for a dragon when you can become one? She holds the jewel aloft and you see that there's a little nozzle on it and she breathes in on the nozzle and you see the jewel light up. She's smoking a jewel?

She's vaping? Yes. Ah! She's gonna be a vape dragon. Tukuru takes a huge tug from the jewel that expels a massive sea of thick gray vape smoke. However, instead of dispersing the smoke begins to swirl around Tukuru's limbs, enveloping her in its mist.

Eventually, the cloudy tindrules fully overtake her, and you were left standing face-to-face with a massive smoldering frame of a teen-aged silver vape worm. Enough games! Grumble-o-grim-miss! Come forth and fill my lungs with the clouds of victory! AAAAAAAA! And that's where we'll end our session. Woo!

Ah! you We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here.

We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here.

We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. or my good friend for giving me a D&D Beyond subscription, which I've been using to research monsters. And thank you all for playing along with me. I hope you enjoyed the adventure. Oh, yeah.

We love it. Hey, get over here. Have a sip of my beer. Another one? I'm feeling pretty busy. Like the way it tastes, but I like the way it feels. Don't call the wallets as curse and drink funny juice. Shit, yeah, I do.

Goodbye. Salutations everybody, it is your donkel call well. Here to shout out our benevolent council of elders, let's get right down to it. Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven. Also the only pebble pot to ever eat a piece of wasabi and live to tell the tale. JLOMA's 72, aka Steelbreaker, Hard One's Jim Spiration. Currently on a diet where they can only drink juice from fruit that's been squeezed between their massive thighs.

Dylan B., a sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, even when they're trying to sleep. Dylan spins a fortune on bedsheets. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard-won senior portrait at the dwarf anage, was recently hired to paint a portrait of Barric Bristen, but quit after finding out he was planning on paying them with milk. Tom P. Father of the Realm, serenader of sleeping babies, and rouser of reclining parents. When your dad falls asleep watching TV, Tom will graciously wake them up before they start to snore. Spencer Caskbrue, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike,

created a smoked cocktail for Alonus that's 0% alcohol and 100% smoke. Don't worry though, it'll still get you fucked up. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch Knight, an ex-owner of the Badger's Pine in Intavirn. To make ends meet, Griffin has started selling snake oil, which in Bohumia is less of a scam and more of a delicious, low-calorie, olive oil alternative. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bahumia.

Legend has it that the world will end the day that Dan decides to try and see if he can pull off a mustache. Scott D, a Goth Blacksmith who just sold Beverly a super sick wallet chain. It lowers his AC by 5, but honestly, it's worth it. Hermes W. The Bat King. Every time Hermes hangs upside down from a tree, their crown falls off their head. Laughing at this is punishable by death. Spartus, a goblin scientist who invented the parachute, which was a massive improvement

over the previous innovation, a big pillow, and a blindfold. Adam R, the R-rated assassin, leaves a calling card on each of their victims, the card features an erotic drawing, and is good for 25% off a poor and hub premium subscription. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP, Cassandra has so much HP that instead of taking this subway, they just fire themselves out of a huge cannon. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame. Danielle is so dastardly she actually introduced Akira to Bev Sr. Unforgivable Danielle? You see a.k.a. Haldor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn, and Foddle Longside alongside Elias and Red. Where's the necklace made of giant's bones given to them by Elias?

It's extremely heavy, but how doer is too proud to admit it. Many the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. When you're about to follow up with someone via email, but then may email you first, that's manny getting things done. Daniel U, aka Multifor, the Mini-Faced Magician. Daniel recently multiclast as a bard, and now all of their faces are in a barbershop quartet together. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, created a mix that you can't help but do the drunken

hair dance to. Even if you're sober. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born to the sword, and driver of a Ford. Dang, now that's a quality automobile. America salutes you, Jeff. Cutter W. A high-off dandy-turned-crick-barcatech. Recently installed an island kitchen that's an actual island. I don't care what the client says, cutter. The sharks were a nice touch. John S. AKA Shubbert the mushroom. Once had a real bad trip after accidentally licking themself.

Ryan M. Hard one's ram who was brutally murdered after being abandoned by his owner. Ryan recently died their coat black, grew some demon wings, and now serves as Galad's mount. Strange enough, we're rooting for you, Ryan. Alain A C. A dark elf from the shadow fell version of the Crick. Or, as it's known in that plane, the Crack. Andrew M. A very young magician who just started growing their beard. One day

it will be long and white, but it's just stubble right now. Michael McD. Head mixologist at the Blue Man of Inn. Makes a virgin daiquiri that will STILL get you fucked up. Victor T. Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Now who will teach him how to drive his felber auto roller? Just an eye, Leet Singer of a My Chemical Romance-esque band that the B.O.B. is very into right now. The professional, the only liar to successfully beat Papa in litigation, instantly retired because they knew they would never beat him again.

Jacob C, literally ate the hounds death lance and didn't die. Did have weird indigestion though. Alaina M, a gnome who knows Kung Fu, it's cute and deadly. McPucks, the amazing coemaster who programmed our website. Also would have done a better job with the programming of all those goblin airships. Earl and Kathleen L, double dating Dirling and Krann in the Feywild. Dirling keeps bringing up skinny dipping in their new hot tub and it's getting kind of weird. Jive G, a dwarf who cut off their beard and glued it to hard ones face when hard one was

insecure about being a late bloomer. Aw. Jostrich, the jock ostrich. Most ostriches have thin little legs, but this ostrich could legit share pants with Hard One. Charo Arcadia's, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. Though it doesn't have its own Uber Eats account, and it's been ordering a lot of late night burritos. Damial R. Ram Daniel's evil twin. Having lost Ryan the Rams trail, the Noles are now hunting Damial R. Run buddy! Nicholas R. AKA St. Crickles keeps all their presence and helper elves in a timeout

sack. Jennifer V. has a V that's even more vicious than Cobbs, though they don't have Cobbs Crick Life tattoo above their belly button. Destin C is Destin for the Sea, currently designing Bohumiya's first ever submarine, also known as reverse airship. Devin B, the Bodega Lord, wins every battle because they're so hopped up on 5-hour energy. Michael L also made a deal with Acarot, but it was for a used car.

That's right, Acarot drives a Civic. Sam H got really trashed at Jim as welcome dinner and thought they embarrassed themselves, but then Jim got murdered and that's all anyone remembers. Phew! Kelvin Noodles, a Pasta Elemental. Kelvin rolls red pepper fl flakes checks with advantage. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya de Sakwani, 7th of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Recently, Shed a layer of the skin and now it's

hanging in a museum because it's that dope. Traylay the cray-fay, who lost their way. Traylay is lost in the woods today, but don't worry, it'll be okay. Aaron G. Master of the Banishment Spell. Aaron banishes parking tickets, and when they get some of the court, they banish judges. Jory S. A jacked wizard who wears a double XL robe and still breaks through the arms sometimes. Dude, you gotta make that shit a cut off. Allu Card, a reverse Dracula, eats Count Chocula cereal without the marshmallows.

Now that is backwards. Baby Doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C section, also carried themselves in a baby Bjorn. Don't ask how. Adam H, a Grey Knight who is also taking the oath of vengeance, Adam is pissed at someone for scratching their car and they will pay. Colin G, Hardwan's English teacher at the Dwarf Village, feels incredibly sorry for the young human child who was told reading was lame and so instantly decided to reject it.

Ryan, Hardwan's living and thriving ram who just made it to Smuggler's bounty and won 1000 gold playing Blackjack. Ryan, hard ones living in thriving RAM who just made it to Smuggler's Bounty and won 1000 gold playing Blackjack! Live it up, Ryan. Big Buck, pregnant Elk moonshine's Elkin Baby. Big Buck was born with a love for Crickwater, since their mother did not stop sniffing while she was carrying. Richard F, a Nannerfly sacrificed to Inqueen Ezra's reign, but don't worry, they were recently reincarnated as a goblin pilot.

Oh boy! John W.G. introduced the Crick-2, Saviche. To be fair, they were already eating a lot of raw fish down there. John just told them how to cure it properly. Troy McCee, a barbarian bard aka a bard barian, plays the woodblock and has a big fan named Hard One Sure Food. Cannibalistic Kathulu is currently eating you! That's right, look down, they're nibbling your toes!

Sam L, a fighter who trains by tying a bunch of red meat to their body and getting attacked by wolves. Definitely has rabies. Dom R, the masseuse in Hill home where Beverly's vacation house is seems to be getting oddly close to Martha Togold. Hmm. Josh S. The revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald has X-ray vision and constantly uses it to

compare their quads to others. Blitzbriggs Dimitri, owner of Dwarggers Big Borgher, where they recently introduced a brand new side, a second Big Borgher. Oh, yes please. Caleb Storm, Cut Bearer, and Cords Great Hall. Also in charge of the remote control. Find the game Caleb, it's on TNT. Dude, come on!

Andrew A, the new mayor of the Crick, their first initiative, a statue of Papa in town square, Natch. Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohumia, one an award for their betrayal of Nana Kindleaf in the film, O'Werther, Where Are Thou? Matt L. The new is green teen on the hunt for a new patch made in Beves honor, the flat ass patch. Mike H. A kinkoo chosen angel who took extra offense to the band of boobs, hurtful bird comments. Kevin S, a forgetful rogue who is covered in reminder tattoos.

If you think this sounds like Momento, it's because it is exactly that. Matthew E, had arcane at the face celebration, but made the correct call to pretend they were out. Hard one in moonshine did not need that in their life. Samuel B. A chilled dragonborn whose acid damage attacks are actually psychedelic acid. Please Samuel, attack me! B. Money. A giant bumblebee rapper. Currently dominating the charts with her hit song, Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Friends are an awakened duck named Dante and a bucktoothnull named Goopy. Mitch D, an enlightened drunken master water genazi named Doc Alpha.

One time Doc got incredibly drunk but managed to avoid a hangover by eating a sandwich and drinking an entire water elemental before bed. Curtis S, a short skinny human who is hard one's bunkmate at the dwarf in age, had to sleep on the bottom bunk even though hard One wet the bed a lot. Colton B. A bard who follows the College of Puppetry. They defeat their foes while simultaneously teaching children how to count to ten. Jens Christian T. The social media influencer behind Jens Lendell Comedy recently started a viral trend called Lendellelling where you slap your friends' faces

with a glove. Gage M. Bohumi is only dermatologist. Is secretly super bummed that Crick-Rot was cured. Montana Monarch. A rugged species of mountain butterfly. Instead of eating nectar, these monarchs attack cougars and suck them dry. They have no natural predators. Tiavina Saregan, an Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath but forgot what for. Shit, was the oath to do yoga with Kelsey tomorrow? Tiavana hopes not. They were really looking forward to sleeping in. Rayleigh PS, Mishka Papa Beverly II's first victim. The young dragon emulated Rayleigh in five seconds flat, and Shay got the whole thing on camera.

Aw, precious. Aren C, a treasure hunter who plans on stealing the sacred gym hidden in everyone's favorite hill home restaurant. That's right, Aren C is going to steal the Tuesday Ruby from Ruby Tuesdays. Hannah F, a shadow-fall denison that makes hot tubs specifically for Ghost. Seems specific, but perhaps the band of boobs can figure out some use for this skill. I don't know. We'll find out. Bradley E. A warlock who draws their power from their rich dad. Whenever they're in trouble, Bradley just calls Bradley Senior and he sends an airship full of mages to Magic Missile the shit out of the problem.

Dev and T. A conspiracy theory is trying to figure out the correlation between the various sightings of the word moe, scrawled across Bohumia. L&D, a barbarian who uses an actual wizard as a club. It's technically a magic weapon, and your DM can't tell you otherwise. Carbureau Chapel Hill FPV, a ranger who fights by tossing various objects. Who needs to buy arrows when you can just chuck an empty beer mug at your opponent's head? Well played, Carbureau Chapel Hill FPV. Chad A was just confirmed as the next DLC fighter for Smash Bros.

Wow, congrats Chad! Really excited to see what your move said is. Reese NS, a unicorn with a gun for a horn. A gun a corn. TJ M, the only traveling gnome salesman who isn't a tricky asshole. TJ just sells super sharp cutlery at reasonable prices. Thanks TJ. RPKB, a budget R2D2 made entirely of wood, basically just a stump with a name.

Taylor S. aka Trass the Traveler, made a deal with a demon to get a bag of trail mix that never runs out, as long as they never eat the immonims. Stay strong Trass. Anime intellect, an anime loving succubus that lures people back to their cave in order to try and get them to watch Evangelion. Unfortunately, they usually just end up having sex. Bomber. Zolo Dolo, an extreme sports orc who shouts their name before doing insane stunts, currently attempting to ramp their BMX bike over the gash on Mount Forge. Zolo Dolooooooooo got this bud. And that's everyone! This is called Well Signing Off. Thanks so much for listening to our show and we will see you next week. Bye bye!