Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - One Shot: PROPOSAL IMPOSSIBLE

Episode Date: April 23, 2021

Welcome back to Trinyvale! After saving the world from a deadly fate, the Triplets relax in their newly-acquired private castle, but can barely make it through the Friends theme song before they're interrupted by a close acquaintance bearing dire news! Jens pops a question, Onyx becomes a grandmother and Nyack gets bugged (again) as the Trinyvale Trio fight to preserve the future they worked so hard to build!CREDITSEditing by Terence Wiggins (@TheBlackNerd)Sound Design, Engineering & Post Production by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG)Inspiration for the Flashback System was provided by "Blades in the Dark" by John Harper & Evil Hat ProductionsMUSIC:"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "Danzi: Wind Quintet Op 67 No 3 In E-Flat Major, 2 Andante Moderato" by Soni Ventorum Wind Quintet"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinavale. Oh, I didn't know how much I missed it. I'm regular now. I'm back. My constitution is restored. I can poop again. Thank you. Okay.

I've been holding it in for a year. I came in like a laxative with the chit-chit-chit-chit. That's why you are the way you are. It is a real, just a shot glass of castor oil. I'm gonna be a whole new Caldwell now. Flushed, baby. A new Caldwell and a new world. A world saved from certain doom by three unlikely heroes.

Heroes who, now that peace reigns, World saved from certain doom by three unlikely heroes. Heroes who, now that peace reigns, can pursue their true goal of being full-time grifters. That's right. Today's story begins with those grifters, aka the Trinaville triplets, on a visit to the exquisite Royal Gardens in the Elven Kingdom of Ilivos. However, our heroes aren't alone. Joining them is the crown prince of Ilivos, Aster Star Sage, as well as his parents, King's Albin Star and Bleaker Sage. The scene is immaculate. On all sides, perfectly pruned

roses bloom in a dazzling array of colors. And above, thick clouds drift past like massive skybound barges. However, despite this outward perfection, a mood of tension hangs over our heroes. For today, they are on a mission that will determine the course of the rest of their lives. But before you reveal that mission, let's reveal ourselves. Woo! Via introductions.

Yes. Ah, it's good to be back friends. I am your dungeon master, AKA Dunkel, called Roltaner, and I am joined by... Brian Murphy, AKA Jenzlindell, Lord of the Dance, wielder of the Dance, wielder of a lance, but really a sword.

But really a sword. What a stretch. Really a sword. Couple of swords. Can we say that you took about five minutes on top of this? I was at a certain point. I gave up on trying to write a rhyme

because I was really holding everybody up. So we did time it though, and it was five minutes and 44 seconds. I did that really good comedy thing. Where you do a bad thing, but you'll wink. I like it, I do it, I do it. I do it like a banana joke. Yeah, and I'm gonna put a sound effect in

so people know that you winked. Thank you. Oh record scratch maybe too. Yeah, record scratcher. You're probably wondering how I got here. It's because I'm dumb and I suck. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha suck. And we're also joined by Emily Axford, Annex Lumière, Municorn Mousser, and Victarian Fucker.

Whoa! Okay, love it. These rhymes are rusty. Do not touch. And we're also joined by one other friend who might he be. I'm super thrown off because I don't think we usually say our first names, but here we go. I was confused. I was confused. I'm not a player. I was just like Emily. It's your fault. A little brother with a mullet who can't handle BBs going down his gulic naiac of the

rana for. Oh, beautiful. Oh, I forgot, but, our finger, BBs. How could you forget? Oh, it's so nice to have you all back here. I'm ready for another adventure in the world of Trinavale, but before we get to it, I thought I would provide a quick recap

for just some of the details for folks who might be hazy about things that have transpired in Trinavale, specifically things relating to Aster Star Sage, the crown prince of Ilavas, so here we go. Jens first met Astor while performing an interpretive sword dance at his birthday party. The prince, eager to mimic Jens' routine, got too close to his swords, and unfortunately, was pricked. This resulted in Jens being exiled from Ilivos, but years later in pursuit of a divine relic, Jin's, along with Onyx and Nyak, returned to this kingdom and encountered

the prince once more. The prince then gave Jin a chance to absolve his name. Jin's dance admirably and later on, the prince admitted that he was super impressed. Swade by his kind words, and also in mince wealth, Jens fell head over heels for the prints and the two became a couple. Mostly the second thing. Yeah, I was going to say. You can fall head over heels for money. Okay? More hand over fist. Now, thanks to the prince's generosity, which Jens totally isn't taking advantage of. Nope, our three triplets have been able to upgrade

from their small studio apartment to a luxurious castle complete with a stable for Onyx's moonicorn obsidian. Uh, obsidian is pregnant. Oh, congrats. He is with child. That's wonderful. She's been giving birth this whole entire time.

That's what it was. It may be he has been. Can we hear Obsidian? Ah. Ah. Oh, oh. Ah. He sounds so strong.

So that's just a fun new wrinkle for this. I'll be rolling a pregnancy checks for Obsidian. So thank you for reminding me. I mean, my god. This castle also has a rooftop cabana for Niaq and of course a massive garage for Jens collection of classic Corvettes that he definitely knows how to drive. That's right we can't take these out everybody we could get

rain on them. What about if you need to drive obsidian to the hospital and one of your fancy Corvettes? No, that's what that is. I'm sorry, is this Corvettes that's parked in the back? Is the only ones that can take obsidian to the doctor? Obsidian can give birth in the trunk of the Buick. The Buick brother.

Class. A baby Buick, yes. And of course that brings us to the present. So you three are all in this beautiful garden, breathing in the exotic flower bouquets that waft by on the gentle breeze. Gins, you are on an official date with Prince Aster and you two are sitting on a large bench. Nearby the Princess Parents, Albin and Bleaker, Shapiro knew from beneath a large parasol held aloft by a small army of massive

bumblebee butlers. You see this parasol kind of just hovering above them providing shade and they're just kind of sternly watching you and an aster and meanwhile on X you and niac are poised nearby waiting for a signal from jins Because you see you two aren't here just to be the third and fourth wheels on jins date like you normally are We're going to a rob them Oh my god in a manner of speaking, you came here for a very specific reason. Totally cool.

And that reason is today, in this garden, Jinslandell is going to propose to Astor Star Sage. Whoa. A lovable rubber. A long con. The longest con. Telly. A long con. A longus con. Tell death to us, con. Jins, you are seated next to Aster on this ornate bench.

It's rot iron painted white, it's lovely. And your pocket is a very special ring. And now, as you are fumbling for this ring, I'm preparing for the moment. I want you to tell me how you do this and how you signal to Onyx and Nyak. I think I keep trying to be romantic, but then I keep hearing the buzzing and looking over at his parents. Do his parents have to not like me, right? What is, what vibes am I getting from them?

Go ahead and roll a perception or insight. Okay. Yeah, are these killer bees? Are they planning something? But these are Bumblebee butlers. 16, 16. Yeah, you see, so they're beneath this parasol, these butlers, they are bumblebees,

but they are butlers, they do wear little top hats and little bow ties. Okay. And they're kind of like circling so that the parasol is spinning slightly and it's got like a parachute pattern on it. So it's got this like nice visible effect. But with a 16, you see that Albinand Bleaker

are reserving judgment. They are not sold on you, Jens. They're supporting Aster. They're supporting Aster's pursuit. But they're specifically looking for someone to inherit the crown one day. They need to size you up a little more. Okay. I'll cast invisibility on myself and go, you've dropped on what they're saying.

Don't get too close. Whatever they hit about Jens, I can try to backpedal on. Okay, so you're going over to where Albin and Bleaker are under the parasol? But I am wearing a very heavy perfume. Does it smell like roses or does it smell like something else entirely? Lavender and I I didn't I rose push. You see how beautiful it is. Isn't it wonderful to be here? Aster amongst all of the lavator-centered rose bushes so romantic the buzzing is loud is it is it not

uh... it's like trying to talk over a drill oh yes you get used to the buzzing after a while right it's why everyone in my family speaks so loudly because of our bumblebee butt lows. Right. It is a lot to get used to but I'm sure that you will manage. I will manage indeed. So listen, Aster, I think this has been going exceptionally well. We've really connected on multiple levels. All of the notes we've sent to each other via our various assistants that you pay for. And, you know, we might come from different

sides of the tracks. You are extremely wealthy, whereas I grew up merely upper class before I was a destitute. It took me a lot to get used to, yes. Yeah, I know. And I'm a little rough around the edges. When I drink my tea, I only put up one pinky, whereas I see that you put up all of your fingers and sort of use your thumb and exceedingly fancy way

with that I don't know exactly how you balance it. It is years of concentration. I would go into the school room and Bumblebee teacher would watch as I balanced three tea cups on my head full of hot, scalding tea. And that is how I became the little gentleman you see before you. Is everyone here at B? You do see that all the grounds keepers are also bees. It's just like aiming is arrow wild.

This is insane. This is insane because we've been dating for a while and I just now I'm noticing all the bees. There's just a lot of bees. I am, I am wearing so much perfume, they are coming after me. They are trying to pollinate me. Yes.

How do you see it? Onyx, your cover is totally blown because when these giant bees just lands on nothing and starts rubbing its back legs on you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stop it, fresh. But yes, Aster, the reason I asked you to meet me here is for a special occasion indeed.

For I am asking you to join my hive, Flash Dance! And I stand back and I begin waving wildly for I am asking you to join my hive. Flash dance! And I stand back and I begin waving wildly to Nihac and Onyx. I emerge, but I forget to get rid of my invisibility. Where's Onyx? It's exceedingly important, Nihac. So I'm here wildly throwing glitter from a pouch yelling for Onyx.

Onyx for Onyx Well Just my kids getting stung by bees as you're throwing glitter on it gets caked in it so she's In the Bowl. Oh my god. It's a glitter monster. It's a clue. We've summoned something What? Something something I'm wildly swimming in on it I'm a

Spocker Come at me. So, a cyclone of bees start swarming around. That's slug glitter onyx. And with that, what I was trying to help you for bugs. I'm sorry, yes. And then I turned to Astor and I go, this was all planned to show that I will protect you from all manners of monster, whether they be glitter demons or otherwise,

and then I get down on Wendy and I propose. Niaq starts beatboxing. I don't think your knee is touching the ground. Oh, well, I don't want to get dirty. Niaq, could you, was you mind actually? I immediately stand back up. Niaq, could you, would you mind actually, I immediately stand back up. Niaq is gonna propose on my behalf. Niaq.

Niaq goes to both knees and says, will you please marry my brother, do it in this honor. You see that aster looks overcome and his parents kind of both raise their noses and look on as to what is going to happen. But before we get to that, we are going to flash back to three days earlier. You threw your all chilling at your private castle when you hear Prince Aster knocking loudly on the door.

Over the intercom you hear him shout. Jens, Onyx, Nyak, come quickly. I'm afraid I have most dreadful news. I don't move and I look at everyone else to see if we are moving or ignoring. I'm not interested. This is super dramatic. Why would I... Please, even delivery I get it brought to my room. I would rush if he said I have happy news. That sounds great. So you changed the keys on the front door.

I just, here's the thing, and let me, and I say this quietly just to Niaq and Onix, I love all of the parts about being in a relationship that are all like the good things, but there's some bad things too. And like, to be there for someone. that are all like the good things, but there's some bad things too. And like having to be there for someone. And I would just prefer not to do that part of it.

Does that make sense? It makes perfect sense to me who has experienced much of it. Yeah, I wasn't ready for all this and that's why I'm not in a real relationship. Hello, I let myself in. I found the key out Out of the mat. Damn, it's not you. I'll just get it up.

Why can't you remember to bring your key with you? If you only wore pants with pockets. I lock my door. I like skitters away to the roof. The chance is on a chase lounge. It just goes, oh my dear, I was about to go open the door for you. No, you understand, you're very busy. Is that a bowl of, what is that on your lap, that big bowl of something?

This is a bowl of wine. A regular cup just, it just doesn't cut it. I guess the visibility on myself come out grab my straw from the bowl of wine and just my straw back into my room. Well, it's a good thing I brought my own straw because I certainly need a drink. As I mentioned before on the intercom I have terrible news. Jins, Onyx, if you're somewhere and Nyak, my parents are cutting me off. Nyakopsin through the window. Whoa.

Oh, this is, um... Onyx emerges, but no one sees her. This is terrible. Why would they do that? Well, I asked them the same thing during my daily tantrum and it turns out that unless I get engaged by the end of the week, they said they'd put a hold on all my credit cards, including the unlimited adamantium card I gave you, Jennifer.

Oh, that's kind of a no-go for me. Limited Adamantium card I gave you Jennifer. Oh That's kind of a no-go for me. They haven't even thought does anyone else think this is kind of rude that they haven't mentioned this to me at all That card is the one we use to watch friends reruns. Yes, I really would hate to lose that You're bang for friends reruns. We know are you buying it on Amazon every time you watch it? No, we don't stream it. We like to have the physical media on it. Yeah, I really hate streaming quality. It has to be perfect. And it needs to be a new disc.

We don't want any skips. One time we rewatched it a few times. And there was a little skip at one time. It was how you doing. And that's just a blast. It's lost in translation when Joey doesn't get it out clean like that. Yes.

So we all understand how dire this situation is. It's totally unfair. I mean, I will kill your parents if you need. Did you say you killed my parents? Yeah. You can't exercise. Are you threatening me?

Is that not what you're coming to ask for? Well, they are the kings of an entire country of people. And you would kill them, you would commit to that political instability. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I was seeing you where you were coming to. We thought maybe. I was responding to what you said. It was your idea to kill your parents. Yes, we want to support you in killing your parents if that's what you want to do. You brought up that idea and I mirrored it.

My dear, if you want us to assassinate your parents, we will do that for you. But I will warn you, they do a lot of work and you are going to need buyers and people to do that work. I thought it was weird, but I have been like living rent free and I'm really used to it, so I'm willing to meet you there. Oh no, we're all very dependent people, and I don't think that I could get rid of my

parents, because yes, I depend on them for pretty much everything. So I've come up with another solution. Jins, all you have to do is pull off a huge perfect proposal and then I think that would get them off my case for at least another year or two. Can I get it? Can I do an insight check if he's just making this up to get proposed to? Ah, yeah, go for it. Okay, shout out to the two crew and I have a plus one to inside. That's a three. This is the first time you've seen Aster. You don't know who this guy is.

You keep leaving the room on him. You, we don't even know you. You got me here demanding a proposal. And demanding we kill your parents? You stranger. We don't even know who they are Everyone we do I'm so sorry after this is No, no, it's okay and like here's the thing I

Don't know if I'm totally ready to settle down either. I know this is a lot But I think that this could really help solve our situation for now. I mean sure I've got a couple other boyfriends on the side who would be super devastated if we got proposed. But you know what, I think that this is our best shot at keeping the situation going. Okay, hold on. Who, now... What? Normally, I don't care about this sort of thing, but who... You have other boyfriends? Well, sure, just, you know, a couple of people I see every once in a while when you're busy, you're busy quite a lot.

It's like finding out that the cow has other nipples that the milk is going out. Yeah, just how much money do you spend on them, Astor? Well, all right, you know what, babe, I'm so sorry, I thought you might react like this. They're only on mithril cards. You're on an adamantium So you're still number one babe. You're still number one. That's fine. Look, but here's the thing You know what? I think that maybe this could be good for us. Maybe we should take the next step who knows Maybe this proposal is what we need for our relationship and no matter what it just turns me into the king essentially co-Kings. Co-Kings.

Co-Kings, it's true. That is of course, if my parents buy the proposal because they're the final step. So here's how this has to work. Ilivasi and custom dictates that the suitor of the crown prince must prove their dedication by forging an engagement ring in the fires of Mount Trimony. Otherwise, the engagement won't be viewed as legally binding. And then once you've got that ring, you've got to wow my parents with it. It's kind of a two-step operation here. And unless you've got a better plan, I think that's the only way to make this work and to keep us

all just fully flush with cash and not having to worry about any single problem in our life ever. That would be great to get back to that because as you're talking about all of this stuff, it just sounds like a lot of work. It's just so much. We can, as long as I still have the card for now, I can get us some jet blue flights to this place

where we can get the ring. Yes. Yes, of course. So you will, you'll venture to mount Trimini and forge the perfect ring so we can keep riding my parents' coattails. If JetBlue goes there. I missed everything but JetBlue.

I'm in. I have already booked a private JetBlue flight. I can't. Love private JetBlue flight. It's my God. I had to be on the phone for a very long time. Well, a Bumblebee Butler had to be on the phone for a very long time booking this flight. Bumblebee Butler had to be on the phone for a very long time booking this flight

But they did manage to get one that goes to this Cursed volcano to the north. Are we sitting mint? Yes, of course. I would not I would not subject you to anything less than mint Thank you Will then all right. Do you have any more questions from me or do you want to get prepared? Oh, we're going now. I thought this was like going a couple months or something. This is happening now today.

No, the engagement needs to happen by the end of the week. So you've got about a day to prepare and then you need to fly out the next day after that and then the proposal will happen on the third day. I have totally spaced. Annex looks at her invisible hands and wonders am I ready to rule? Well, I wouldn't be marrying you, but you would definitely be like I don't know up. Are you actually related? I'm not sure but you'd be like a Baroness or something. What does the co-king's little brother become? You would be co-queen with me

The co-queen, yes. Now I shed the tear. Once we are kings, I can bestow any title you wish upon you. Coqueen is perfect. Coqueen works for me. Yes. Very good. Well, then if there's nothing else, then I'll leave you to prepare for your journey. Very well. We're just going to put my shoes on. I'm going to book a wax appointment. Should I put the key back under the mat or can I take this or what? You can just give it to me. Okay. Aster gives you the key and then like swoops in for like a very cold peck. After he cold pecks me, I go, I bet your other boyfriend's don't show that kind of passion. He thinks about saying something witty, but then just smiles and says, no, no, they don't. And then he departs.

And now it is time for me to explain how the next phase of this adventure is going to work. Oh yeah. So the proposal needs to happen in three days, which gives you a day to prepare before heading to Mount Trimney. However, instead of role-playing your preparations for that day, we're going to skip ahead to the day of the mission, but at any point during the adventure you can flash back to the day before and explain something that you prepared. For example, say you take a fall from the top of a tower, instead of plummeting to your

death, you can use your flash back to say you prepare to scroll a feather fall. In some cases, I'll make you roll to see how the preparations went. In that case, I might say you had to convince a wizard to make the scroll for you. And you'd have to roll a persuasion check for the wizard. Otherwise, I'll just let you do it. But yeah, if you succeed, we return to the present, and then you now have the feather falls rolled. Does that all make sense? Yep. Yes.

Great. So I'm going to say you have two flashbacks you can use during the course of this adventure. And now that that's explained, let's get to it. You hop aboard this private jet blue flight. The pilot looks so worried so nervous Come on in. This is you know not something we normally do, but you know a princess to request it So here we go. We're flying to a volcano. Oh, yeah, don't worry I don't I don't think that he's gonna be giving birth anytime soon I don't think that he's going to be giving birth anytime soon. If that's what you're concerned about.

Oh my goodness. Can I be the co-pilot because I'm about to be a co-queen? And I need a little co-experience. That would be great. If there's a small stool that I could sit behind the co-pilot, co-queen, because I will be her co-queen as well. Could we be co-pilot? Yeah, co-pilot.

I noticed that you said that Prince Aster asked for this. Just know that I'm also going to be the king soon. So any time you would think Prince Aster, you could just thank me because we're dating. Does that make sense? Of course. Yes. Anytime we meet someone, it's a status negotiation. Right. And also just like you could just give me blue chips. Like as soon as you see me, like if you see me, just blue chips, okay? All right, well, if the co-pilot's would mind flying the plane, I can come back with the blue chips. X, so I will wait on my brother. I will find the blue chips.

Yes, Niac. Niac understands how to do this. The flight attendants did all quit when they found out that we were flying this airplane to a volcano. So yes, I will need to be the flight attendant as well or NIAC as co-co-pilot if you wanna do that. That would be really swell.

Thank you so much for helping out. And I just lifted up the flotation device off of the seat and search for the blue chips. Ha ha ha. Onyx is just pressing every button on this airplane. We're starting to get into a variety of- Plus the chip button. Press the chip button. Press the chip button, please.

I press every blue button. Give me an intelligence check. I want to see if you crash this airplane. 19. 19. I have less zero due intelligence. Whoa, wow. It's just all inherent. It's just all in there

You somehow managed to press every button in the correct order and fly this plane perfectly Really good in a position of authority You see that the captain has passed out from fear so it is entirely up to you to fly and land this plane. That is not evolutionarily a strong response to fear. Damning biological mechanism. It's been out for hours. This is not okay. This plane was supposed to go to Duluth.

It was not supposed to go to Duluth. It was not supposed to go to a volcano. So yes, Onyx takes over, then with the help of her cocoa captain, she flies the plane right up to Mount Trimony, which is this massive active volcano to the north of Ilivos. As you approach the air grows thick and hot, and the sky grows dark. Eventually, Onyx jams the console and presses four buttons simultaneously and the plane knows dives through the clouds. Just a handprint of bothersome.

I'm learning so much from my cocoa castle. I just have no idea what's going on because I have noise canceling headphones on. I have a sleep mask on and I'm swaddled in a blanket and just sitting there in first class, ignoring everyone. Can I hijack the Bluetooth that is phone and start playing different music? Ah! Sure.

I was listening to Sugar Ray and now you're listening to a different Sugar Ray song. Yes, what is this noise? You see that the pilot is woken up and is texting their partner that if they never see them again, they love them and they're sorry for everything. Airplane mode, my man. You're right, you're safe. You're the one who's making the, you're the one who's making the plane crash. You're still having his phone. It's my leisure, it's my leisure.

Sorry, my future leisure, I apologize. Thank you. Thank you. This is your boots. He starts feeding you blue chips. That's my job. Niaq, is you in the captain are fighting over who gets feed chips. You see that Onyx has successfully pulled out of her nose

dive and leveled out the plane. You did through a roiling bank of clouds. Hey, started to dive when I fucked with your phone. And then suddenly you see the mountain in full view. From above the volcano's mouth is shaped like a glowing heart, from which pulsing streams of magma trickle like massive arteries. Eventually the plane crashes in front of a smooth, humanoid crafted platform. Onyx you did your best, but you did not figure out how to put down the landing gear Actually, you know what? No, that's not fair. Give me another role to see if you put down the landing gear

With a guy number all just another intelligence role Can I help as the cocoa captain absolutely, but you will have to stop feeding Jin's chips? 15 I walk away saying he doesn't like the broken ones. I don't. What is this half chip? Only full chips for my brother, three corners. Give me a full chip, open a new bag. Three corners.

You're a fool. See, the captain starts like licking broken chips so that they can be fused back together That is how you do it Would you get on X 15 cool? Yeah, great. That's that's perfect Yeah, you get the landing gear down in the last minute and the plane lands on this small smooth humanoid crafted platform And as it does you see several explorers way further down the mountain go, boo! Climb up like regular adventurers, boo!

I eldritch smite them. Oh! Our eldritch smite. They all fall into magma. How dare you speak like that to your future king and the co-queens. I'm sorry, they're speaking over Mark my graph. And it was so.

And the money in the, we just want to fly. The thing is now I'm listening to every morning and at first I was a second, because listening to I just want to fly. He was too on the nose before. Yeah, the pilot feeds you a chip and says, very just my king, very just see now I like you. You're, you're coming along with us. So you eject one of those fun emergency slides

from the plane and you all exit the aircraft. And you come before this perfectly smooth doorway-sized recess into the mountain. However, there doesn't seem to be any way to actually enter this recess. The stone is completely solid and unmarked, save for a small carving of a flat hand about chest height. It looks like a stone carving of like a palm open hand.

The one who would be destined to be king, I confidently put my hand on the door. Before you can do that, I put a butterfinger in my hand. Ah, it's smushed! Ooh, that could be something. You see that there is now a big chocolate smear on this sacred stone hand. But nothing else happens. I guess we'll inspect it. Cool, yeah, you want to do investigation?

Yeah. Cool. I got an 11. I got a 7. Hmm, an 11 and a 7. Ooh, Niaq got an 18. 18. Oh, Niaq got an 18. 18.

Incredible. So after Onyx puts the BB on Jins hand, you two start squabbling and just spreading the BB around even more. Where is my napkin bag? Niaq paths frantically, pockets. Gloves, glitter. My god, we forgot the napkin bag. I have it.

I have it, brother. Niac sprints to the plane. I feel like you're the one who has to figure it out, Niac. Niac calls dropping the glove bag, dropping another bag, spilling glitter. He slips a little bit, rushes back. Niac, you run into the plane, grab some cocktail napkins, and then you try and rub the BB goo off of the door.

And as you flustered. So flustered. But as you do, you see that like, a little bit of the BB goo is like sticking to a invisible raised script. It seems like there was like letters written on this hand, but written in like an invisible script, like an invisible embossed script,

that you couldn't see previously, but now that you've applied this gu, this chocolate residue, you can read the words. Wow. And they say, to enter, give the door a ring. Okay. To enter, give the door a ring. Okay. To enter, give the door a ring. I take a ring off my hand, I put it on the finger.

I say ding dong as that happens. We never know which one is right. Yes, as you do this simultaneously, the ring sinks into the stone and comes to rest on the ring finger of the stone hand. But nothing happens, and then, Niaq, you say ding dong, and then a slit of light appears midway through the door, and it opens. Coquins. Coquins. Actually, since we are coquins, I'm going to go ahead and cast Crown of Stars, and I now

have a Crown of Stars floating around my head. What does that do? I can throw them at people. Very fun. Very fun. But my great or his moon face now is orbited by stars. Naya is walking really, really close to Onyx, like just trying to get one to swoop around his head.

And I give him one. I don't know if the spell works probably. I mean, I definitely can't end the spell. I'm asking you if I can give him one. Yeah, I guess it would be like you're doing a very bad job attacking him with one of the stars. Okay, so I give him one of my seven stars. All right, Naya tears stream out of both of his eyes. But it's a really slow orbit around your head.

Jens goes, who needs a magic crown when you're about to get a real one up? You could tell he's furious. I don't give him one. My arms are crossing. I'm just silent. The thing is that insult really worked on Nia. Can he just kicks a pebble? The trip is just miserable. I take my star back.

This crown is Terry goes that far. Just a squabbling couple just like quietly having a terrible adventure. If we can't handle a magic fake ground of stars, how are we going to handle our various grounds? That's true. How are we going to slowly take over the kingdom for our own purposes? As you have this argument, you do start to feel the churning heat of this live volcano blister against your skin Why doesn't everybody give me a constitution save? Yeah, it's oh here fuck Eight total okay, I also got an eight

Eight twins What did you get Nyak? I guess it was fate. Oh god. I forgot I have a minus one 8 guess it was fate. Oh god I forgot I have a minus one to cast it. Still? 10. Okay you all take 18 points of fire damage. Yikes. But you do see that these stone doors are fully opened now and it does feel like it's slightly cooler inside. Okay, Jens has a really elaborate layered outfit on that he would be, this is the takeoff. It just wouldn't look right. You see the pilot's like,

sir, would you like me to remove one of your leather capes? No, don't touch that. I slap his hand. You're on chip duty. Allow me to take one capes, sir. Focus on the chips. You just cut, you just figured out the chips thing, okay? I will continue gluing chips, sir

Alex is gonna dust off her pants suit and do healing hands on herself. Oh, okay great Cool, so you're doing that are you ready to Enter this chamber. Yeah, yes, awesome So after getting just a quick sunburn you enter and see a small but beautifully adorned jewelry store. Directly in front of you is a glass display case full of rings at which two robed figures are hunched. To your left is a stone door with another hand carving on it, and to your right is what

appears to be an employee bathroom. Above you, a stone banner reads, welcome to Jared Joulars, Galleria of Wonders. And as you step into the room, the two robe figures rise and remove their hoods. You see that they have tusks tipped with gold and silver respectively, and rings of shining metal painted on their foreheads. The one with the silver ring steps forward. Hello and welcome to Jerez Jelaz. My name is Sterling, and this is my associate Karat.

Can we help you with anything? Or are you perhaps here to see Lord Jarred? We'd, yes. Onyx looks at Jans and says, it's not my wedding and goes to you. Some men. Ha ha ha ha. Onyx, what the hell?

Ha ha ha ha. It's incredible. Did I do anything, my act? What just happened? I, you know, I have to use the bathroom to this helping with the wedding is kind of a best man thing and I don't know if anybody's been named the best man yet. Now, it kicks a pebble towards the bathroom and walks away. Yes, it's right over there.

It's a single stall, but knock yourself out. You look like you're perhaps in charge here. Would you like to have a visit with the Divine Craftsman, Lord Jardad Jullar? Yes, tell him that future King, Jens Lindell, has arrived for his appointment. King's can do that. They can just say they have an appointment,

and they have an appointment. You see that? Sterling looks down at a piece of paper and does not see your name written there, but also doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so just shrugs and let's it go. Of course. I could see that he doesn't believe me,

and I'm just like, smiling with watery eyes. Just dead on the inside. Yes, you are very important. I agree. I'm good and important, sir. You're very important and good. Yes, indeed. Unfortunately, I will say if you are a first time customer,

we do require you to make at least one purchase before you meet with Lord John Head. The Divine Craftsman is a very busy person, so we need to make sure that you're serious about creating a ring with us. So when your friends get out of the bathroom, we'll take you over to the display booth, and we can show you what rings we have for purchase.

I would love to purchase something. My ex walks out of the bathroom with toilet paper attached to his barefoot. Oh, God. Do you guys want to quickly give me perception checks or investigation checks for the bathroom? Jins are not allowed. All right. I'm not in there 10

Cool, I got a 19 19 all our characters are morons I didn't put anything into perception or insight for Onyx. So Onyx, you just go in, drop-trial and do your business, but Nyaak. No, I go in and I have a little deer to myself. A little deer? What? Why? It's like, when Onyx...

It's told to be in front of strangers and they go in and pretend to cry, you maniac. Naya Quoxin says, Onyx, are you okay? It's just, I know that you and Jens are so much closer because you are actually related to each other and you're going to be the best man, but I thought I would at least be a groom's man, but he hasn't said anything yet. I came in here myself to have a cry because I thought I was his best man. I thought I would be walking my brother down the aisle, but he hasn't said, he hasn't said word one about it. He's just like you have each other, but who will I ever be the best man for? You know? Sometimes it feels like we're supposed to have each other but but the absence of having each other feels like and even greater loss

It's so messed up Produce one huge tear and then shake it up. Oh. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Nia. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Nia, in the reflection of this enormous tear, you see something talked behind the toilet. Ha. Ha. And when you go to inspect. Wait, I am crying and you're looking at something the reflection of my dear. I was not. I was not. I didn't, I was just noticing that it smelled in here

and whoever used the bathroom before us didn't flesh. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna kick the toilet knob down. Okay. So, Nike, when you go to kick the toilet knob, you do find, tuck by in the toilet, this weather go to kick the toilet knob, you do find tucked by the toilet this weathered copy of the book Fools Gold to Cools Gold, a Smelter's Guide to Smithing. Wow, this is really heavy-duty toilet paper. We should take it back home.

Good girl, I am sick of the silk ones that we are using. Is there any more confessions you want to do in the bathroom or you're ready to poke your head out? I'm ready to leave. Okay. Oh and another- oh you're gone. Okay. Anyways, I'm feeling better. I'll see you out there. There's two people that have so much in common if they wanted to. We're just complaining about our own shit. And, Niaq, I will say, with this book, you can get advantage on tool checks. Excellent.

Which is basically, like, unless you have a proficiency with something, you'll just roll your raw intelligence stat. Cool. Cool. So, y'all duck back out, and you see that Jins is already sizing up all the rings in the display case. You see that sterling and carrot are kind of poised hovering over you ready to answer any questions.

And with that, I will send you a list of rings that you can choose from. I'm going to put it in the chat. Great. So yeah, just you can each choose one ring. That's all it takes. You won't be able to use the elevator otherwise. It's kind of our little in-house security system. You see that Karat nods as well.

All right. Wow. Take your time though. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and just make sure that it's still looking tip-top shape in there. It is now. Hahaha. Cool, so I sent you the list.

Why doesn't everybody tell me which number ring you're choosing, and then I'll read a quick description for the audience. I will do number four because it looks the most expensive. Hmm, a small jewelers loop is set atop this or Nate Gold Ring. Excellent choice. You see that Karat presents the ring to you. Onyx, what will you choose? I will choose number eight for no reason.

This ring glows with a golden light and emits a light crackling noise. You see Karat reaches in and grabs this ring for you. It slides right onto your finger and you feel kind of like an arcane tingle. Nyak, what about you? I choose ring number five as I have a secret plan to gift this ring to my brother on his wedding day when I'm named best man. And I think it will make him smile.

Yeah. Yeah. Gensafoids his gaze. Yeah. Yeah. A smiling face is carved into this thick silver band. You take that one, you place it on your finger, and you see that the eyes of the smiling face

kind of light up as soon as it's on you. And Jins, Jins will love that. I sneer at his ring. Oh, I have put this hand in his pocket. Awesome. So you see Sterling inspects to make sure that you're all wearing the rings. It says, all right, if you've got the rings on, you're good to go. You can just go press the

palm over by the elevator and it'll let you down into the forge chamber. Good luck. We appreciate it. Your customer service was outstanding. Four stars out of five. Thank you. Four. I didn't really talk to you. That's why, you didn't talk to Onyx. I deeply apologize, would you like some blue chips? That'll bump you up to a 4.5, my friend. Very good. You see, they bring you blue chips, but they are just so crumbly. They're just very small little jagged pieces.

I throw the bag on the ground. You insult us. I understand. All right, we need to go. I go and I, we go use the door. Cool. You place your palms on this elevator door and you see like now that you have the ring on it, you place your palm there and then when you remove your palm, you see that there is a corresponding glowing band on the ring finger of this stone palm and the door opens and you hear a ding, ding, ding, as you three enter. And as we are descending in the elevator, I will read what the curses on each of your rings do. Oh no. Curses. But don't worry, it's also a boon. You get a blessing and you also get a curse.

Wow. Okay. So, Jins, you took number four, which is the ring of Cursed Focus. You gain expertise with all tools, but permanently have the Bane spell cast on you for all other ability checks. Oh no. Oh, and one more thing that Sterling mentioned while you were up there is that these rings main spell cast on you for all other ability checks. Oh no. Oh, and one more thing that Sterling mentioned

while you were up there is that these rings will remain on you until you successfully propose. Oh no. So when we flash forward, you will still be wearing these rings for the proposal. Let's see. Oh, Niaq, you chose the ring of Cursed Charisma. Oh.

A smiling face carved onto a Thicks over Band. Let's see. Oh, Niaq, you chose the ring of Cursed Charisma. Oh a Smiling face carved onto a Thix over band you get plus 10 to persuasion and minus 10 on all other ability checks We really should have switched rings Niaq. What the hell am I gonna do with tools? This is my brother's ring Yes, give me your stupid smiley face ring And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, It's this idea. Onyx, you chose the ring of Cursid Magic. You can cast any spell for free, but there's a 25% chance it will backfire. Any spell? Any spell that you have.

OK. Yeah. Oh. So Warlock with only fifth level spells, this rules. Yeah. It rules until it doesn't, which is how cursed items work. So you are all in this elevator. You see it's this black metal elevator in laid with these finely crafted gold embellishments, and it slowly descends into the heart of the volcano. And as it reaches its destination, you

hear a small, as it thuds to the ground, and the doors creak open. And as they do, you are greeted by another blast of overwhelming heat. I need everyone to give me another constitution saving tool. Huh, eight. 18. 15.

Okay, so Onyx, you pass Jyn's and Nyak fail. That's going to be 12 damage from the heat. So you are greeted by this sweltering blast of volcanic air, but then you shake it off and you proceed into the divine for of Jada'e Jalal. The room seems to be carved directly into the stone of the volcano. On your left, you see a large rock garden situated behind a waste high metal fence. Until your right is an ash-gray tree

from which dangle several shimmering fruits in a variety of colors. And directly in front of you, is a massive wall of magma that feeds into a small lake. At the edge of this lake, you see a huge arcane forge, being used by a figure in a set of ornately designed ring mail. A top-as-head is a helmet framed by two golden horns

that are so long they curve and connect in a perfect circle above his head is a helmet framed by two golden horns that are so long they curve and connect in a perfect circle above his head. After a moment the divine craftsman notices your presence and turns to face you. He grips his hammer tightly and points one of his sharp ringed fingers into your direction. Let me just tell you I am thrilled to hear that. So tell me which of you is getting engaged and who's the lucky partner. Tell me, Spirit, you must dish for Jarred that would be me Jenslandell future king current boyfriend is a prince

Soon will be the king haven't decided whether or not we're gonna have to The old parents Very soon that he's the king Let's just say that Regicide oh, I've seen it many a time inevitable. That's to be sure and my act is itching for it That is delightful to hear again. I am a John head, but you can call me Jared Jared Jouler is is my name and I must say it is an honor to have the future fiance of Ilivars here in my humble shop. I will gladly allow you to use my forge to craft an engagement ring for your beloved. So yes, if you're ready, please step right this

way and I'll get you all set up. Excellent, yes, the ring your employees gave me, cursed me into being able to use tools. So thank you so much for that. Curst you with manual labor. Yes. Indeed, yes. I'm very sorry about that, but it's just a small precaution to prevent thieves.

And also, first time I was coming in here and just trying to craft a ring without there being any repercussions. We want this to be not just a jewelry shop, but a jewelry experience, if you want. Oh, yes. Like a little bit of a prison in a way. Yes.

I get that. Kind of like a pottery studio and a prison put together is kind of what we're going. I see. I am cursed too, and I cast freedom of movement on myself with one of my invocations. Wow, look at a go. I'm gonna roll the D4. If I roll a 1 on the D4, you will cast it on someone else. Yeah, okay.

Wow, that's a 1. You cast it on Jared. Oh, look at me go. That's great. He starts doing squats. I'm a key sense, what can I say? So yes, you see that Jared is thrilled to help you craft this ring and he walks you over to this arcane forge. And as he does, he explains that the ring's power will be lost if anyone other than the suitor and the bridal party were to use the forge. So he is going to walk you through

how to use the forge, but he can't actually craft the ring himself. So as he explains this, you walk over to this massive forge at the edge of this fiery lake. And once you're there, he says, I will warn you that crafting such a ring is no simple task. So if you truly wish to prove your love, you must come forth and accept the trial of engagement. You said work, task and trial. It sounds like something the best man should do. It sounds like a job for the best man. Yes, one word to be named.

And that's the enthusiasm I wish to see. It gents, and one were to be named. That is the enthusiasm I wish to see. It gents, Quivering takes his gloves off and his extremely soft hands are exposed and he goes, yes, I will forge its Naya kicks an anvil. These are hands meant for rings, not for ring crafting. You have your work cut out for you. Well, again, your employees cursed me, so... F-fuck you, I guess.

It's all part of the fun, it's all part of the experience. Tell your friends about Jared Jouler's gallery of wonders located in the middle of a volcano. He slams his hammer. No, let the trial begin! Everybody, let's go ahead and roll initiative. Alright. 22. 16. Okay, so here's how this is going to work. So you three have to use Jared's enchanted forge to create a ring that the Prince of Ilivos and more importantly his parents will deem worthy of the crown. Jared is going to give you guidance on what steps to take, but he'll also be testing

your dedication with a variety of trials and questions. You see, Jared slams his hammer down on the anvil in shouts. Now let the forging begin! First, you will need to pick which gym and which metal to use. Jared gestures to the rock garden to the left, on the ash and tree to the right. Niaque, why don't you and Onyx go pick a metal from the beetle pin and a gym from the stone tree?

Jins, you stay here and gush with me about this wedding. I have questions. Okay, I got to the gym tree. Okay, Niaque, do you want to go to the beetle pin? Yes, I'll go to the gem tree. Okay, Nayak, do you want to go to the beetle pen? Yes, I'll go to the beetle pen. I believe that the base of the ring will be the first thing I decide. Perfect. So we are going to start with Jins who got a 22.

Jins, you are just chilling here with Jared waiting for your friends. You can either assist one of the other triplets with their task, which is to go and either get one of these beetles or get one of these gems. Or you can just kind of idly chat with Jared. It's up to you. I guess I'll go for the gem. Cool.

So you also accompany Onyx over to the gems. And as this is all happening, you see that Jared is just kind of like slamming his hammer excitedly over and over again. And as that happens, you see that cracks and fissures start to form in the ground and these gushes of magma appear. And I'm going to need everyone to make a dexterity saving throw. Saving throw, thank God. 16. 19.

14. 14. Onyx, you and Nyak are able to definitely roll to the side, and just kind of singed by the seat, but chins. You are distracted by like all the potential you see here for beauty and wonder and splendor, and you walk face first into a magma plume. I'm going to roll 66. Jesus Christ.

Onyx practices disguise self to look like Jens in case Jens dies. What are you doing? Onyx? Great. I could work with this. Onyx, so you look great. Thank you. Jins, that's 24 damage for you. Jesus Christ.

And then 12 damage for Naik and Anx. Oh, watch your step. Making a beautiful engagement ring is tricky work. Why are you doing that? Through the fires of adversity comes the truest and purest love. We were just talking about this earlier. Our relationships actually just gonna be the good stuff. Oh, you must take the good with the bad.

You must take the lava with the ring. The fires of passion is all we're interested in. Fires of adversity, we are not doing. I'm sorry, but it's a total package sort of thing. Hmm. What if we don't have fiery passion and it's sort of cold passion? Then the ring you make will be shoddy.

And whoever you're presenting the ring to will know this fact and will judge you accordingly. Oh no. Awesome, so that's gonna bring us to Onyx. So Onyx, you and Jens are now going over to this Jim fruit tree. Let me walk over there with you. I guess if I'm gonna use my action to do the help action, can I bonus action healing word myself? For sure, definitely. Great. I'll do it at a third level. Nice. So you go over to this Jim fruit grove and you see growing from the stone floor.

There's this tree with rock-like bark and leaves like razors. And hanging from its branches, you see six shimmering gyms in the shapes of fruit. There's a diamond, a sapphire, an emerald, a ruby, an amethyst, and a pearl. Again, that's a diamond, a sapphire, an emerald, a ruby, an amethyst, and a pearl. And you see that Jared from his central position says, a saffire, an emerald, a ruby, an amethyst, and a pearl. And you see that Jared from his central position says, just pick one, we'll need it as the main gym for the engagement ring.

So choose wisely. Um, can I use my mall to just kind of knock them all down? I'm kidding. Um, I'll choose, I look at engines. What are you going to do? Smile and then pick the pearl. What? Okay, I smile uncomfortably, tears in my eyes.

Yes, that was the right choice. As you both go up to pluck this pearl, you see that the tree kind of shakes its branches and comes to life and takes swipes at both of you. What? How dare you? Oh no. The tree crit. It crit.

The tree crit. Can I attack it? Does that kind of my action to reach for the pearl? Yeah, we're gonna say it counts as your action. This is just kind of a hazard. This isn't a battle. Okay, well, I do have a bonus action though, right? Yeah.

Okay, sweet. Cool, so I'm gonna say that since Onyx was the one that reached for the pearl, I crit on Onyx, and then Jens does an 18 hit you? 18 does not hit me, I have 19 armor class. Nice, okay, so you see it gets two of these branches covered in razor, sharp leaves, and swipes at both of you. Jens, you're able to definitely dodge,

but Onyx, since you were like reaching deeper to the tree to get this pearl, you take the brun of it, let me see what that's going to be. I'm able to avoid damage because I'm hiding behind Onyx. that's going to be. I'm able to avoid damage because I'm hiding behind Onyx. Onyx, you take 58 points of damage from all of these Razer leaves striking your body. Okay. So doing damage to this means nothing because I have two options to do damage and I'm pretty mad and want to do damage to the tree that hurt me. Go ahead and do damage to it. Okay, I will elish rebuke it and I will also, that's my reaction because I took damage and I will also use take one of the stars orbiting my head as my bonus action throw it at it.

Awesome. Go ahead and roll damage. Okay. So, as a tree has to make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. It's a tree, so its dexterity is not very good. Okay. Oh no! That's another Nat 20. Wow. God. I can't believe I'm wasting all of my rolls on Trinaville. Well, it is still gonna do probably, because trees are vulnerable to fire, right? They are.

So it still does max damage, 33 fire damage, and 19 radiant damage. Jesus Christ. My started 19 radiant damage, my hellish rebuke did 33. Get that tree. Kill it, kill the tree. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha. This is what I do, I so you see Jared's like why are you beating up my tree Your tree Out over here man come on. Oh my god. It's part of the challenge. It's part of the challenge It's fun. Are you having fun? Yes, and I roll to the challenge your part of the challenge. It's part of the challenge. It's fun. Are you having fun? Yes, and I rose to the challenge. You're a part of the challenge, man. You know what is fun? Tricking wine out of a bowl and watching friends. Challenge accepted. Having an experience doesn't it doesn't mean it has to be a negative experience. Thank you.

We can still thank you. You're all about this bad part of the relationship, which we're just not for that. You know what I mean? That's not what the engagement is about. If one of us feels sad, the other two just ignore them, and then they get over it. I've just, I've been down here a long time, I guess maybe relationships have changed a little bit. Maybe it's not built on trust anymore.

They're more autonomous. They're independent. My brother can walk around his cars that he doesn't drive all day without talking to the prince. I know, I the Prince and I would We don't want to get rain on the night. We're not gonna get the rain on I would never ask you to get rain on the rain It's so unpredictable on a camera. Only when obsidian gives birth and that and that will take my car We'll take the Buick you will do the Buick. I was gonna ask while you brought that pregnant moonicorn down here

I was gonna ask while you brought that pregnant moonicorn down here I Just never know when he's going to give our side Do you want me to get some newspapers or something to lay down for him? I look at obsidian and see if he wants And darper that to me like you want sure. Yes, you know what? And darper that to me like you want sure. Yes, you know what? Here you see he's got like a bunch of up like jewelers monthly's like stacked in a corner And he spreads them out of city and OnEx, why don't you go ahead and roll a pregnancy check Just a pure luck check I guess nine nine

You see that obsidian is not crowning yet, but oh it's coming Not crowning Crounding is like the end of birth The contractions are getting closer and closer together. Please get more newspaper He's giving birth right now. Look at his in labor. I would get some water But it's very hot down here, so it's just gonna be steam. I hope that's okay. The horn has to be painful. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. So, Onyx, you attack this tree. You see that it's almost about to fall over. You just like deliver this fiery blast that's so strong it even cuts through the rock-like bark of this magma tree. And you see that lava starts seeping out of it. It looks like with one more good hit, this thing would fall.

Nah, shoot the tree. I started juggling one of my stars, one of my six remaining stars. Jens, were you helping on that turn or did you want to take an action here? Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, I'll swing at the tree. All right, great, go ahead and swing of the tree You see the Jared's kind of like when somebody in escape room starts like pulling shit off the wall

Right no, that's not necessary. We didn't ask for a hint I I rolled with Bane I got still a 22. Oh wow Incredible you hit the tree great. It's good to be high level. Ooh, that's 13 damage. That is enough. You see that the tree fully topples over. Ha! You see five more gym stones just kind of tumbled with the ground. F*** that tree.

You see Jared kind of scratches his helmet and is like, well, I guess you can have those two if you want Normally there's just one gem on the ring, but if you want to put six gemstones on this ring one gem What do you not understand about co-King's Jared? I thought you know maybe something understated But what you were going for I'm gonna get myself one too Yeah, I'm sorry if you think my brother is gonna have a fucking one gem ring, you have another thing coming. Thank you.

I didn't make this finger in the glove extra wide for nothing. Yes. I expanded all of the gloves. There are windows on the gloves. Yes, the finger window. Duh. I was up for two days knitting these sewing these. I'm so behind on fashion and style and relationships.

All of this stuff is normal. If you left your volcano, you would learn that. It's normal. Maybe I do need to leave. Maybe I've dedicated too much of my time to my dream. And I myself have not found love. Oh. So you're welcome for killing your tree.

No, I'm still kind of steamed about the tree, to be honest. It took a 100,000 years for that to grow. I kicked the tree too. Stop kicking my tree. I shoot the tree with an arrow. My brother told me to. I carve onyx rolls into the tree. So you see, as Jared is mourning the loss of his beautiful Jim tree, one of a kind

Jim tree that, if it had been allowed to grow, would have continued to produce gyms for all of time. The tree was a dick. I thought it was kind of, it was like a fun little hazard. If you want to make a fruit, don't attack people. Thank you. It's like an obstacle course. If you went on family double dare,

would you just beat up everyone else? No. I would attack Mark Summers first. He's the mastermind of all of the slime. I would simply start stabbing all of the balls that are in the way. And just wreck the nose so I can find the flag. I seem going to need to make this a little more difficult for you.

You see that Jared strides over to you, Jens, and says, I'm beginning to doubt the sincerity of your relationship a little bit. How dare you! I fear that I must put you to a firm test by asking you an important question. You see, he clears his throat and says, Jins, I must know, this is a question that any good fiance will know the answer to. Right.

Who is going to be your ring bearer? Ring bearer? Yes, for your wedding. That of course is going to be Obsidian and all of their beautiful children. You see that he looks over. Go ahead and give me another role for Obsidian. Oh no. A net one. You see that obsidian is having a real rough time. You see that sterling and karate have come down here and are assisting obsidian. I'm rubbing him up with castor oil and got a hot pack on him. Yeah. Naya actually hates obsidian right now knowing that he'll be carrying a jen's ring. Yeah, so you see that as Obsidian starts to like scream entering the intense labor of childbirth,

you see a single tear rolls down the face of Jared. And he says, a very good choice. Perhaps that was wrong to doubt you. This noble beast will do a wonderful job. You can put the ring right on his horn. You've thought this through. Bravo, bravo. I really have. Yes, and the several other rings that will also be for me

can also go on the one horn. So you don't want to put all the gyms on one ring. You just want six different rings. We're going to split them up a little bit but we'll do like two stones on one ring, three on another. Okay, all right. I just wanna make sure I know what the specs.

I'm thinking about becoming a ring guy. Hahaha. It's what I'm saying. I look at Jen's hand, which is already filled with rings. Hahaha. You thought about it once and committed. Hahaha. What? It's one ring for hand?

This is nothing. So yes, you have overcome Jared's prying insight. He now is back on your side. And with that, let's go over to the beetle pin, where NIAC is hunting a beetle. My arrow is dropped. You enter this pin and you see scuttling amidst these boulders is a variety of enormous metallic beetles with menacing pinchers. There's a gold beetle, a silver one, platinum one, and also one with a beautifully rippled

shell made of Damascus steel. Which beetle do you want to pursue? Gold is the most malleable metal, I believe. The easiest to persuade as a metal swath, which is what making a ring really is. It's the persuasion of metals. So I'll choose the... I was the one who got the answer. But also platinum is more expensive.

Gold it is. No, I'm not knowing any of this. Okay, so you're going to attack the gold beetle. Great, go and give me a roll. Let's see. Unless you want to use persuasion to persuade the beetle to jump into the flames. Oh, that's interesting. Can I flash back to something I prepared yesterday? Oh yeah!

Yeah, you can. Yeah! And knowing that NIAC has a parasite, or had a parasite, I would pack a snack bag for things that little bugs like to eat because my appetite kind of became that of, you know, a parasite. A little bug, yeah.

A little bug, yes. I have a little bug diet. So I packed a snack bag full of little bug treats. So you just got like little leaves and like tiny berries and whatnot. And now they're even smaller bugs. A perfect. A sweet bug.

A little bug sniak. What is he doing over there? What is he doing over there? We're just being the shit out of a living tree. When we're talking shit about Nia. As I ask if he eats bugs, I start carving you eat bugs, question mark, inventory. Carp, no he doesn't. Carp, no he doesn't.

Carp, no he doesn't. I oblige. Mac, he's bugs, no he doesn't. You see as you're beating up the tree, you chip away a stone piece of bark that was covering its mouth and it's like, Oh, Huey Bugs! Oh, yo, wait, this dude's hilarious, stop.

Kill the lying tree. Oh, he's good. Quintet, Jans, heal him. I heal, I wield just weight. I start preparing to eat the level care wounds. So now you want to use animal handling here? From my bug food? Yeah. Do you have a plus-tinted persuasion?

Yeah, that's what I'd want to use Yeah, I'll say that you can use that for animal handling as well. Okay, since you did a flashback. All right cool All right, so In in an ideal world just knowing that we're gonna try to create a lot of rings I'd like to sprinkle all of my bug food in the lava and open the cage and try to convince all the little beetles to go in there You want to pie pie for the beetles? I would like to. Alright, awesome.

Okay, um, go ahead and roll. Yeah, roll persuasion or animal handling, whichever you have a better bonus to. Great. It's a 28. 28. Nice. Okay, so I said there were four beetles.

I'm gonna roll for each of them. Unless they get a nat 20, they're all coming with you. Yes. And we have all the gems and all the beetles. I'm gonna roll for each of them unless they get an at 20 they're all coming with you Yes All the gems and all the It's taking everything you know I was setting this up so other people to come in here and make their own engagement rings It's gonna be like a business thing if other people get engaged then there will be competition in the tabloids for wedding pictures That can't happen. Yes. We didn't know when one I'm actually gonna outlaw anyone getting married for a year These beetles are buried in the earth in their larval stage for two thousand years

It takes a long time to oath. They're just following you. They're just following you come right towards the fire come with me Come with me bugs You see all four beetles start like chittering and following behind you. They had their pincers out in like a minising display about to chop you, but since you chose the path of peace and tiny leaves and little snacks, they have put their pincers away and they just follow you in perfect harmony. I throw a star at one. I would never hurt you. That's that's what the lava will do Here is our river nerd dad here is out with your new dad. That's right new dad follow me Love our next dad

You see these happy little beetles start following you to the furnace Jins and onyx you just scoop up a bunch of gyms in a shirt and bring them over as well You do see that Jared is looking a little flustered, but he's like, all right, you know what? I gotta start preparing for more inevitabilities, I guess, for more potential outcomes, if I'm gonna make this business successful. So let's keep moving.

Now this is an experience for you. Sure is, yes. I guess if I were to rate myself on Yelp, I'd give myself a zero so I could go out of business and rethink this. Absolutely. I dare Yelp eats drowning in bad reviews. But if you work with me as a social media manager, I can turn that around. This is a bit of a shake down. This is the thing we do now. Oh, that's a good idea. Here, take a pose next to your dead tree and your empty beetle pen

This is you know what maybe this will work Maybe I can tank the business and collect the bankruptcy check and then reopen that this is perfect All right, yeah, you see the Jared poses next to the destroyed parts of his business And then after that's done he says all right, but you know what, we're thinking big picture. We got to get down to the nitty gritty. We are making this ring for you. So now that you've got the beetle in the fruit, it's time to get the forge going. So you walk over to this big forge, which is this like giant metal ring with a furnace at the center that is currently extinguished.

And for this section, I'm gonna say you're all helping to create the ring, but only one of you is gonna make each check. And we're gonna go down the line based on initiative, and that's gonna be starting with Jens. Great. Oh, Jens, this actually works out perfectly. So the first thing you're gonna need to do

is fire up the forge, which is gonna be a tool check. All right, Jens complains loudly. Ah! Gah! As I lean down. Your hands are so pale. Yes. Well, we can double up the gloves, brother.

We may have to. That is a 19. 19. Awesome, let me write that down for reasons. So you go over to this forge and you, with your little jeweler's loop, ring, you kind of see exactly where the ignition point is and you just cast a quick fire spell into it and it like lights into this perfectly blazing white hot ring within this forge. And now the forge is on and it is ready to eat some beetles. So next up actually is going to

be the layer action Jared's layer. You see as the forge comes to life and reignites, the entire room shakes with the amount of power and heat that is being produced. And I'm gonna need everyone to make another dexterity saving throw. All right. Wow. God dammit.

I literally with the with the bane, I rolled a four on my bane and a four on my die, so I literally got a zero plus 10, so a 10. A 10, okay, you fail, Alex, would you good? Um, I'm going to fail, I'm probably going to die. Holy shit! I got a 10. Okay, you fail as well. Now I can't what you get. I rolled a nat one. Okay! So you all feel this massive trimmer as a result of the forge starting up. And you don't take any damage, but you instantly all fall to the ground and are prone, which

I'm going to say for the purposes of this trial, just means you're going to have disadvantage on checks and saves for this round. Disadvantage in minus 10, I should be okay. Ha ha ha. Now that is gonna bring us to Onyx. Okay. Onyx, you see that Jyn's after turning on the forge, loses his balance and is about to fall head first

into the Anvil and you run over and push him out of the way. But as you do, the furnace kicks on at full heat, and I need you to make a con save to withstand the incredible fire coming from this forge. Okay. 19. 19, all right. So yeah, you see that the forge is kind of pulsing

with this massive heat, and it started to look a little unstable, but you are able to reach your hand in and adjust the controls so it's emitting this like nice even flame now. And as that happens, you see that Jared is very impressed with your forge controls and he clamors over to you and says, Onyx, you seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders, you are a social media manager, but also it seems like you're kind of the manager of this group, if I do say so. Yeah, only this turn, to be honest.

It seems like maybe you've got best man material written all over you. So I'm just wondering, I have a question for you, a question of dedication for the trial of engagement. You see his voice booms as he says this. Wow. Onyx. Yes. Dedication for the trial of engagement. You see his voice booms as he says this Onyx What does Jens want to do for his bachelor party? Jens wants to go to Vegas to go to like a magic mic show, but he wants to be the show Yes, that's right. They cancel magic Mike without telling anyone and then I just go out and dance by myself She got it. I hate it. I hate it, but she's right

They don't change the billing at all all those people show 100% just me And seeing that Jins is so on the same page as Onyx, uh, you see that Jared's eyes beneath his helm light up a little bit, uh, and another tear. This one that seems to be made of actual gold drips down from his faceplate. Um, and he says, very well, you have proven yet again that perhaps you do have the love that it takes and requires to forge this relationship very good It is time and you see he grabs his hammer

And hands it to Nyak and says we must begin shaping the metal that we shall use Nyak you have prepared the Beatles yes, I Have prepared them but in a way that they are confused and think I am a father figure I'm sorry. Does anyone else started to feel bad for the Beatles the longer they're around? But where's I feel about them? They're singing will haunt me. What are we doing daddy? Where are we going daddy? I am not your I am not your dad. I am not your dad. Is it time for a trip, Papa? Yes. Yes.

I am taking you to oblivion. I can make a simulacrum of the beetles if you'd like. The hammer is above Nihax's head. And here's this just at the last possible second and I strike next to a beetle. Thank, thank Lord. Yes, yes, please. So you can use your flashback to create

simulant comes of all the beetles. Yeah, I guess I'll say, yeah, I'll have my flashback be that I just talked to Aster and I was just like how do I just cheat? What's gonna happen here if we like kind of like talk about the adventure before we do it? Like, can I just like bring this some of my own beetle? This is that weird? Oh, would you like to go to my beetle garden? Yes, let's just bring our own beetles the beetles there might be really nice. Let's find some shithead beetles, right? Awesome, so

Nyak as you're holding this hammer above the beetles. They're all climbing up to the anvil being a little trip Oh boy, we're up on the anvil. Yay Yeah, you see that Jens stands up from prone Uh, yeah, you see that Jyns, uh, stands up from prone, kicks those four beetles off the Anvil, and there replaces them with four shithead beetles of similar metals. Hahahaha. Hey! Onyx dives on top of them to save that. No!

Onyx, why? Why would you do these normal bees? Get them fuck off us, lady! Oh no, I like these beetles too. Listen to them, they're shittin' heads. They don't wanna be saved. We are your redeemable Beatles. We're not your redeemable Beatles. We're your redeemable Beatles.

You're a Beatles. What was your crime? I will not fire these Beatles. Get the other Beatles back. Their favorite season of friends is the last one. You like the Rachel Joey stuff? Oh yeah, give me a Rachel Joey stuff. I swing the hammer violently.

You know, I actually don't have a problem with Rachel Joey. That's not what this is about. Rachel Joey was the worst part of friends. I tacked Jens with the hammer. You were the worst part of friends, Niaq. Obsidian's been really looking up to Rachel's pregnancy story, so you could just not ruin that. You see these beetles all at the same time go, we run a Jennifer Aniston hate blog, see?

There's just no reason for that. Yeah, also we piss in the fountain. They're just rude and they piss and fountains. They piss and fountains, they hate Jennifer Aniston. They love the last season of friends, except they really hate all of the Joey and Jennifer Aniston stuff. That's something we haven't common.

But we like to wait till people are in the bathroom, then we go in there and we just bike their little ankles. You're done. You're done for that. Yeah. You're done. You're done for that. Okay, so with disadvantage because of the triimbling, Niac, I need you to give me an athletics check to lift the hammer and smash these beetles. I don't even know why I went through the moral quandary.

There's no chance in hell. I don't do any harm to anyone. Two net 20s. You got this disadvantage and minus 10. What kind of check was it? Athletics. Athletics is okay. So the negative one goes up to a five.

A five total? Five total. Yeah. You see you kind of just like subtly dint the beetle shell and they go hey what are you doing to my shell now it looks like your fucking face errrr root okay is there any way I could persuade you to throw yourself into the hammer as hard as you possibly could yeah show what a fuck not yeah we dare you shitheads you won't you won't, you won't.

We will, we'll do it, we'll fucking do it. You have to speak their language, Niaq. You see that after dinting them with the hammer, you do persuade them to jump into the furnace and get nice and hot and gooey. And then they come back out and they just smush themselves right up against the hammer at full speed. And now you have these four shimmering pools of molten metal.

Wow. It's beautiful. And you see that Jared who has watched this entire process is like, that's certainly a way to do it. Um, are those your beetles now? Where can I have my beetles back? Yeah, we brought well, no, that those are niac's children. So we're going to keep my beetles back yet we brought well know that those are niac's children so we're gonna keep the beetles

I don't know now we can make twice the Twice go into the into the yes into the forge kids into the forge Quickly now We don't need them. We would do a long struggle. The same thing. The only thing we did was get you eight fucking rings. It's pretty good for a ring guy.

What have I done to you two? I'm sorry, did you? Did you look at one of them and want to make them your best man and you're trying to keep them around? No, there was a line and it's drawn at Beatles. OK, listen everyone. I know that there's a lot of sort of drama going on and we're all a little upset because I have not yet announced my best man.

You're dramatic, I'm not dramatic. You're being a little bit dramatic onyx and I just wanna say that at a lavish wedding such as mine with a groom as demanding as I am and as frankly unreasonable, I'm going to need two best men. Two. Someone to give the speeches and to be charismatic. And also, who are they?

Who are they? Onyx and I will kill them. You actually look more on. So we need to count to her these Beatles. I was going to say that the one who would give the speech and do kind of the front facing things will be Onyx. But there is a lot of grunt work involved too, which is what I think Nyek will shine.

I will lug anything for you, brother. Okay, so first things first, these Beatles will be a great part of our dancing show, A, at Magic Mike, and B, when we do the proposal. Does the grunt work? Would you say, does that include choreography? Because this choreography is also kind of something. Absolutely not. I just want to make sure.

Just for sweat. Yep. Okay. Just follow the moves. You got it. Okay. So are we, are we dying or not, daddy? Don't go into the wine.

What? It bounces off a chill. I see that all four of the remaining beetles climb up onto Nyax back and shoulders and just kind of like hang out there as if it's like a big necklace of metal. Oh, very, very cool. All interlocking pincers. You keep those the hell away from my Adam's apple but you can keep on doing this. It looks cool. We'll tickle you with our little feet.

Do not. I will vomit if I laugh too much. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Jared is like, this is, I, I had a lot of bulleted list laid out for how this was gonna go. Not exactly on the rails anymore, but that's okay. We need to move on to precision work folks for these rings. We've got these four nice lumps of metal, but we need to shape them into actual rings now. So let's get to it. You see that Jared points to an enormous grinding wheel with a golden beating heart at its center. And he says, you'll need to power it with love or at least a strong

arcana ability. And then he leads you over there and we're going to do a couple more checks. And then he leads you over there and we're gonna do a couple more checks. So, we're back up to the top of the order that is gonna be Gens. I need you to make an Arcona check to activate this magical grinding wheel. All right, I do that. Oh wait, is Bane only attack rolls and saving throws, I think? I think for the specific wording of this, it's everything. It's everything other than tool proficiency right on okay I'll do this with Bane

That's a nine okay You see that the wheel fires up, but it's moving pretty slowly I did it. This is how fast it normally goes right? I've never seen it before. It looks pretty. It looks normal to me. Honestly, slow actually. It looks a little... One of the reasons I made two best men

is so that I can devote you at any time. So don't forget that, I... It looks perfect. It's been so fast. Thank you so much. It's just, Jens, you see how you're putting your hand on the wheel, you should not be able to do that. That's how slow it's moving.

But I think we can make it work. We can still make it work. You know what, as long as someone can get in there and do some fine detailed work, I think this will be okay. However, before you can do that, we have another layer action. You see that as this wheel starts lurching into life, there's a couple of vents at the bottom of it it and it seems like for this wheel to operate it needs to shoot out

Exhaust otherwise it'll get too hot and you see two giant plumes of volcanic gas Up here next to the wheel and I need you all to make a constitution saving throw. Yeah, I know I know Onyx was hurting. Can I give her a bardic inspiration on my turn, bonus action? For sure, yeah, great. Thank you. Constitution saving throw for me is a five.

Ooh, I got an eight. An eight? Onyx, what did you get? Dirty 20. Nice. Onyx, you pass. You breathe in this volcanic plume and it smells great It smells like lavender strangely enough But then niac you and gins are poisoned until the end of the round so that's gonna be disadvantage on checks

I breathed in the hot jelly Cool, so with that out of the way on, you breathe in this nice lavender scented poison, and you're feeling great. You're feeling bolstered by it. You look over at Obsidian to check on them real quick. Let's see how they're doing. 12. 12.

Okay. You see that the contractions are coming quicker and quicker now. But this is a long labor. Okay. Can I use my turn to do a flashback? Yeah. I would like to remember yesterday when I thought ahead and I used planar binding on the best doctor the best OBGYN in turn evil and I summoned them and send them to

obsidian doing? Nothing else. You see that Obsidian presses a little nurse call button, you've given him, and this huge ruined sigil appears on the ground, and all of a sudden a woman in scrubs just flies through it. Ah! Oh, oh, oh, oh my god. This poor creature is about to get birth. Luckily, I brought some ice water with me, so I'm just gonna put that right there. Let's get you all hooked up.

You see she's pulling stuff out of her bag. My name is Dr. McAleon and I'm gonna be here to assist with everything you need. I do not worry about obsidian. You guys just focus on whatever the hell's going on over there and please, please, please, please send me home when I'm done because I don't know where I am and I'm scared. Do you want some blue chips?

Yes, of course, of course. You see that she's feeding obsidian ice chips and also blue chips. I turned to everyone in smile, assuming this is the most helpful thing I could have done. I'm not lightly applied. I'm going to roll an animal handling check with a plus five for her proficiency with advantage. Beautiful.

That is a 23. You see obsidian starts crowning. I tip my crown of stars to obsidian's crown. We're all crown wears today. So, Onyx, you were doing this while just kind of like half-hazardly holding up the lump of metal to the wheel. So now you've just cut like a Rough shape of a ring. I considered I could go and planer bind the

Greatest forge wizard of all time, but I decided to get an OBGYM Wait a much better idea Awesome, so I'm just gonna let you you're still gonna get to do your slide of hand roll, but you are gonna do it with disadvantage. Okay Okay, I really did roll a 19 and an 18. Yes. Wow Okay, I write that down that becomes 22 with plus four 22. Oh incredible Onyx um You see new life coming into this world Uh, and it guides your hands

life coming into this world and it guides your hands. A wedding at birth. This is too beautiful. You see you're able to take these rough lumps of beetle metal and shape them into very beautiful rings. Four of them in fact. Good fint 8. I should have been. I look at the beetles around an eye snack. And you see Jared is very distracted by the moonicorn giving birth in the corner of his forge chamber. But also sees these beautiful rings and says like, wow, you know what? Marriage and children come hand in hand. These are the two miracles of life. I'm sure that you of course know this, Jens. Only the good parts.

But you know what, I have to do my due diligence here. I can't get distracted. I need to ask one more question to ascertain whether or not you are truly all worthy of carrying this wedding through. Niaq, it falls to you. Of course. You see that Jared turns his gaze towards you. Niaq and says, Niaq of the Rana for what will Jins and Astor's first dance be?

Their first dance. Well, the thing is, Jens will be doing a 5 to 10 dance number solo, solo dolo as it were. And then after that, it is fly by the band Sugar Ray. We love Sugar Ray. By we, he means the three of us. We don't know if Master does. I don't even know if he has ever heard of it. In fact, yes, I met him yesterday. But when he does, he'll sugar ray his world is going to change. You know that. The thing is, anyone can dance to fly,

whereas the other dances I will be doing alone, which will be more complicated pieces, but fly everyone can groove to. You see streams of golden tears coming down Jared's face. And he says, Love is changed since I enter the forge, but it is just as beautiful as it's always been. Truly, much like metal, whose shape can be changed. Love can take on any number of forms and appearances.

And that is what makes it magical. And you see that the wheel starts to spin a little faster. And for this final check, Niac, I'm going to need you to decide what the finish for these rings is gonna be. You have four options, but you also have four rings, so I guess it fucking doesn't matter, does it? One of each. The prime ring though. It's true, one of these you have to give to the prince.

You can't give four rings to the Prince. And the prime ring is going to chance. Right, yes, secondary prime ring though. He's going to meet. Master's prime ring goes of course to Onyx. But then aster's second prime ring will go to Aster. All right, so what we're gonna do, since you have somehow exploited the every ring glitch,

I'm gonna make Nyak match up the metals to the rings Oh wow as well as the gyms Nyak you get to assemble everything finally You see your little beetles are scuttling around and whispering telling you which you go where so you have again six gyms four finishes and four types of metal. The four finishes are filigree, plain, engraved, and diamond-studded. I want, I want engraved. Diamond-studded.

So, Niac, I've sent you all of the types of metal, the types of gems, and the types of finish that you can choose from. And if you're ready, if you would please assemble these for everyone. And luckily,'re ready, if you would please assemble these for everyone. And luckily, there is not a check associated with this. This is just a free for all activity.

This is just craft time for Niaq. He does have to persuade us that he made the right decision, though. Yes, we're looking at him so judgmentally. That's just so much pressure. So these four rings are for the prints, for Onyx, for Gens, and myself. Exactly.

Okay. You traditionally do, right? Yes. For the engagement ring, the two best men, I, of course, get the biggest one. I mean, it's like, I'm a feminist, so as the best man, I will be wearing an engagement ring. Right.

These are commemor an engagement ring. These are commemorative engagement rings. Yeah. Okay. For for myself, I choose gold, diamond studded, and diamond. And brother and brother, the reason is I, I care not to wear a ring. And you will wear mine. Oh, brother, you honor me. And I'm not even going to think twice about how upset you seem. I'm so excited that you were going to turn nasty. I will turn nasty on everyone but Jens. Take the ring daddy, take the ring, he doesn't deserve it.

Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. You guys will become an Enclot. Quiet. You guys will become an Enclot. Quiet. You guys will become an Enclot.

I won't wear you around my neck anymore. Quiet. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. Quiet. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. Quiet. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. Quiet.

I won't wear you around my neck anymore. Quiet. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. I won't wear you around my neck anymore. engraved for Onyx. And I'll be engraving it with something Jen's said to Prince Aster, which is, what do you mean other boyfriends? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's so huge. For aster... Beautiful. For aster will go Damascus Steel Pearl Plane. Because the Prince already has so much and he should know that the love my brother offers is simple but true.

And pure. Right. And we can also do, if you want to do an engraving, we could do some sugar ray lyrics. Mm-hmm. Shut the door babe, don't say a word. Again, we don't know if as their nose sugar ray. All the more reason, we could steal those macrath the lyrics for ourselves.

That's right. Oh, dance a little stranger, show me where you've been. That one works. Perfect. And then for my brother, I offer platinum emerald and a intricate filigree because I know how much you like lacy intricate garments. Wow. Thank you. Thank you brother. I would have preferred that you did the platinum with the diamond studded, but this is almost as good. You've done a fine job here today.

So the breakdown here is that Jens gets two rings and Nya gets nothing. I get to wear my brother's appreciation like a badge of honor on my ring finger, which is better. Onyx's impressing the engraving onto her hands, so it says, what do you mean other boyfriends impressed into? At the same moment that these rings are born, you see a beautiful little moonicorn fall, falls out of obsidian and into the waiting hands of Dr. McAleon.

Mom! This is beautiful too. Beautiful. These rings will commemorate so much. Would you like to cut the cord? No, thank you. Yeah, so we're okay. We don't want to do any of the crew.

Again, we're here for the good stuff. Okay, I'll get her cleaned up, I guess. Yes, please do. Please do. I don't know what's going on there. Yeah, bring, these aren't the baby moon the cord I've seen in pictures. So, we're moving the cord back when it's a little less so many.

Yeah, and it's just like kind of glitzless slimy. Does that always have to hold it? Yeah. When it's a little less so many. Yeah, it's just like kind of good. It's like slimy. Because I don't want to hold it. Yeah. It's like, can I just get my hands on that little better too? You're not doing it on purpose, but you're grossing me out. Yeah. See, Obsidian starts licking the baby. Did you want to give it a name or just like?

I'm gonna be sick. No, just no. Oh, yeah. Jen's junior. No, yeah, Jen's Jr. or nothing. Yeah, it's up to you. Yeah, it's up to you and Jen's Jr. or nothing. Nothing.

Nothing, it is. Nothing. You see that Jared this old time is waiting over by the forge and he has crafted a little collar that just says nothing. It's perfect. Well, this has been a weird day. You've given me a lot to think about in terms of my business and how I approach. Filing for bankruptcy. Yeah.

Again, we were trying to pull a fast one on you. We were gonna kind of blackmail you and tank your business, but it seems like you were just into it, so what can we do? Well, again, we were doing like a test run for this kind of jewelry experience thing, and it turns out not a good idea. Just gonna stick with being a standard jewelry store. I'll just stay down here in my forge,

and I guess I'll just kill intruders again, like I normally do. That makes a lot of sense. I think that's a tried and true store. That one's been around forever. I think that's the way to go. Well, thank you so much for all the wisdom you've imparted on me and for filling me in on modern romance traditions. I feel like I am ready to get back out there and maybe start dating again if there are any other, you know, 2000 year old forge masters that you know of that are looking to, you know, maybe get out there and mix it up a little bit. Just let me know.

I just set up the two forge masters, I know. Damn, really? The only forge master I know is 1100. I think that's a little young for you. Yeah, that's kind of a weird gap. Be a power dynamic thing I think for that. Yeah. Well okay, I can, you know what? You've got these magic cursed rings on.

I can just snap my finger and transport you anywhere you want to go if you're wearing them. We'll just say that, but I think you should have a ring here. This thing would just slide off my finger. I can hop on a flight. Oh no, those will not release until after the proposal. That is the terms of the curse. Oh, I guess I do get the last laugh here. Ha ha.

Now, if you could please get that moonicorn and all of its afterbirth out of my chamber, I would really appreciate it. I just motion into the ground. Yeah. Have a bad day. Yeah, I don't know which is a day. Which is after birth and which is lava.

It's really hard to tell. I feel like it's all molten. Collar for the moonichon, because now that I'm thinking about it, we can kind of make this nothing named cute by calling her nothing, which is kind of a cute name. That is really, really nice.

Right, that is cute. You know what? I take it back, it was great to meet you. You're a bunch of lovable nuts, and I wish you the best. I'm kind of lukewarm on you myself. I've already left. Looking at my phone. My friends are gone.

I'm going to go catch the Jet Blue Flight. Awesome. So you all head back to the Jet Blue blue flight and we are going to flash back to the proposal Okay, so you're all back in the garden you look over your mid proposal I'm a glitter specter on ex you are glitter specter specter. Onyx, you are Glitter Specter. Nia, I can try to remember what you were doing. I think I was getting attacked by bees. You were getting attacked by bees. Jens was trying to convince everyone this was working.

You see Albin and Bleeker, the two Elven Kings are now standing and watching this proposal. Very eagerly, Albin, the taller of the two, pushes the side of strand of his long silver hair and looks on with a demure expression. And Bleeker, the shorter and stockier king, crosses his arms and frowns expectantly. So I'm going to explain how this works. You crafted one ring specifically to give to Aster. I was scoring you while you were doing all those checks and now I'm going to add up your

score. Luckily, you all did pretty well with the question section from Jared, so that's gonna help your score out a little bit. So let me add that up right now. Oh boy. Now I did not help this total. Okay, Jins, you reach into your pocket

and you feel the ring, which was a Damascus steel ring with a plain band and a pearl mounted atop it. Simple statement piece. And you pull it out. And in the light of the sun shining through this garden, you see that it is a decent ring. Yeah!

All right. What do you give to the man who has everything? Something decent. I invisibly go over and wipe a little bit of moon a corn after birth off of the pearl. To clarify, you got an 84 on your score, which is just decent. You could have gotten beautiful, wondrous, or

legendary, but you could have done a lot worse. You see, Aster looks at this ring, the rippled bands of Damascus steel really are exemplified by the plain band. And the pearl is as pale as the crown prince's face. Wow, this, you can see that he's trying his very best to act like he is impressed by this proposal. I also visibly have two nicer rings on. I mean, visible except for my slightly nicer ring. Jins? This is everything I have dreamed of since I was a little boy. I especially like that you brought a baby moonicorn and four strange beetles.

The beetles are niacax Children and that's nothing. It's pleased to meet you, nothing. I truly, I'm so in love with you, and of course, yes, I will marry you, my sweet King to be. Honest DAGS. It's just like so intimate. He's like, it's gents. I think it's like a terrible kisser, but has so much confidence.

He comes forward, does like a dip, and then just gives like a cold, smooshy kiss. Niac throws glitter, but there's not a lot left in the bag. So it's just like the, the dregs of the litter. Do your other boyfriends kiss you like this, and then just cold kiss. I explain, I explain the reference to his bed. James, my nose is in your mouth,

James. Sorry, are we not supposed, is that not what someone's to have in here? He has other boyfriends. Is that what he someone's to have in here? He has as as our boyfriends. Is that the way he's referring to you? Yeah. You see the engraving on your ring is like weirdly legible from long distance.

It lights up like the Lord of the Rings. So you see Alvin and Bleaker watch this strange display. You do notice that Alvin looks at the ring and is impressed by the plain band. He doesn't really like any other aspect of it, but the plain band does really resonate with him. And I'm going to need everyone to make one final ability check of your choosing to try and convince the kings that this proposal was good and that Jin's deserves to marry Aster. Great. I guess I'll use a tool check. I'm gonna cast glibness on myself so that any charisma check I make is automatically at least a 15. Incredible, okay. Oh yeah, tell me what you get and what you do.

I roll the seven, but it becomes a 15. So I got a 26 persuasion. Incredible. Onyx, with a 26, what do you do? I, I think that I slowly start dancing so that the glitter comes off of me and starts falling gently like snow in that scene in Kill Bill when they fight in this now. So I'm kind of like, I'm doing it around Jen so that I'm like contributing to his aura. You see it's getting on the bee's wings and they are falling to the ground.

I'll do a persuasion check. It's literally the only thing I could do that might not fail and I'll go up to them and say, Oh, I didn't roll my D4 to see if everything works. I got a one, actually, my glibness doesn't work. Ha ha ha ha. I got a one, actually, my glibness doesn't work. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He goes off and starts their own gardening company. And they're very successful and happy. Good for them. Wow.

Niac, what are you gonna do with your persuasion check? I'm gonna go up to the two kings and say, I'm not entirely sure how this whole royal family thing works, but I think this makes me your son-in-law. Glad to be part of the family. And I'll kiss them both on the cheeks. And introduce them to my beetle children. And no.

Okay, it's not so bad. I roll, I get a plus 10. Okay. Okay, no, we're okay. 17. 17, okay. Not bad. Before we play this scene, Onyx,

what did you get without the glibness spell? Oh, I got a seven plus 11, 18. 18, okay, still pretty good. Yeah. Great, not yet. As you approach the Kings, you see that your four beetle babies take flight and their wings and shells are shimmering around you, creating this like sea of luminous light that's reflecting on you and casting your face

in the best possible lighting. The kings see you and they kiss you back on the cheeks, and say, finally, someone who is normal. There's glitter caking my mullet, and I still need a star attached to my head. No shirt, no shoes. Jens, that finally brings us to you. Because the only thing I'm good at now is tools. I, I produce a chisel and a mallet, and I go over to a nearby statue, and I say, all around the world, statues crumble for me. No, all around the world statues crumble for me. No, all around the world statues crumble for us.

And then I break the statue. Roll with advantage, you madman. I'm 29. What? Put your arms around me, baby. I'm 29. What? Put your arms around me baby. Put your arms around me baby. You hear all the bees start singing along.

Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, Wow. Awesome. I'm going to add up those scores. Albin and Bleeker each had a DC of 50. Let's see if you beat it. You got a 64. Hell yeah.

Whoa. Albin and Bleaker, look on at this. Very messy, very glittery, very passionate display. And they are overwhelmed with the beauty of your proposal. They each kiss aster on the cheek and then do the same for Jens, Onyx, and Nyak as well. I turn my head so that it's a lip kiss. I want one. No fair. I see you honor the old ways of the elves and they open out kiss each of you

You fucking nut okay Yeah, go ahead and pick pocket the king of Ilovas go for it. I give Bartik is rationed to Onyx so that we don't die, but that's it. I got a three, but can I pull this getting handsy? You see that you reach back toward you were hugging, we'll say that you were French kissing bleaker, the shorter the two, and you see these toward, you were hugging, we'll say that you were French kissing a bleaker, the shorter the two, and you see these, like, ah, getting ahead of yourself, I see.

And from his back pocket, he pulls out three adamantium credit cards. Yeah. That's it, I was looking for. Aster, we are so sorry, we threatened to cut you off. You've made us so happy, and we see now how Jin's, That's what I was looking for! And so, Jyns, Onyx and Nyak, to thank you all for making our son so happy, please accept these as a token of our gratitude. Any hands each of you, these Bank of Ilivos, no limit Adamantium credit cards, and they shine like a thousand diamonds in the sun.

Wow, you know, before today, I thought I wanted to be king. But seeing these credit cards, I realized that you two probably have to do a lot of work, and it's actually pretty awesome to just be a prince and married to a prince. So thank you for this gift you've given me. For not only have you given me a no limit credit card, but so too have you given me a new dream, which is to not be king. And just be a forever prince.

So you're just you're abdicating. I'll do that after you pass away. But yes, thank you for honoring us in this way. They turned to Astor and say, well, it's all on you, I guess. I think there's a Jen's and Nia can I say, are we done here? Peace. I make I do a little finger walking away sign. You see Albin and bleaker like now comes the ceremony of the passing on We shall become trees as is the way of our people This is a Marriage and a funeral

Okay, come trees I'm not doing any more trees. I'm not doing any more trees. Are you coming branches? I'm not doing any more trees. Are you coming branches? I'm not doing any more trees. Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches?

I'm not doing any more trees. Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? I'm not doing any more trees. Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches?

Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches?

Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? Are you coming branches? are led by trees going forward. So in the shade of the father trees, you all admire your new credit cards and ponder the new responsibilities you have as the kings and co-queens of Ilavas. And that is where we will end our session. Oh no! 1 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 Oh boy, we're so gay, we're with our credit cards. Oh Boy We with with our credit cards. We buy assistance

Cab executive assistance and personal assistance. I like that. Oh My lord, that was a wacky when y'all My goodness. We somehow got worse So so much more saved the world now we get to be selfish that's true that's our words and the world is just something yeah we're bad we're bad guys well thank you all so much for listening to these bad guys I had a good time with them good times with bad guys. Does anyone have anything that they want to plug before we go? Yeah, I'll plug our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod,

that's nadddpod, don't sing yet. Ooh, what I wish to every morning to listen to our after show, the short rest, that's all from me. Awesome, anyone else? I'll throw a plug to me and my brother's podcast, The Goat Show. It's back for three weeks now. Check it out. Beautiful.

This week you're reviewing different metal beetles, I believe. That's correct. We tested them all. I can't tell you which one's the best, but you got to listen. Which ones are you going to pound into a flat metal and which ones are you going to keep as your child? Listen to the show. I would like to give some plugs and shoutouts to the fine people that help put this episode together Number one Henry A for the D&D Beyond subscription I've been using

Terrence Wiggins for the editing and Daniel Raymos for sound mixing and music You can find Terrence on Twitter at the black nerd and you can find Daniel on Instagram at Dr. Schubert and on Twitter at Schubert's. That's SCHUBIRDS. But most importantly, thank you so much to my nieces and nephews for playing. I might have a child of my own now, but you know what, you're still my favorite nieces and nephews.

And the second I get some free time, I'm gonna take you all out to the lake. Ooh, the lake. Thank you, don't go. That's right. I'm diving straight to the bottom. I'm gonna swim out too far and get bit by a snake. I'm gonna eat bunch of food and then jump in.

Sounds great, I'm asleep. Well, thank you all again. You can find my nieces and nephews on Twitter. At CH-Murph is Murph, at the Axford is Emily, at Jake Roberts is Jake, and at Calle de his me. You can tweet at me, don't tweet at the other ones. I'm casting a shield of protection against them, just tweet at me only.

And you can also tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD that's in ADDPOD. We are the other nations. pod that's in a DDPOD. It's the end of the show everybody and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D. Jeffreus, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M, the previous visitors to Jarrod's Forge. They plucked one gem from the tree, gave birth to zero municorns, and set Jarrod's expectations way too high.

Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Gybe G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B, Metal Beatles who hid under the rocks during NIAC's feeding ritual, it's not that they don't like bug food, it's just that they all saw Niax sneeze into his hands right before distributing it. Shuber the mushroom, Danielle the Dasterdly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scott D, Prince Aster's other lovers, they shower him with gifts and affection and have never once asked him to buy them a castle or private jet blue flight Desperate much

Danny P. Mixologist Michael McDee, Balnor's boy, Andrew B and Kevin S. Stars of the hive a new Netflix drama about the lives of the Bumblebee butlers working for the Ilevagean royal family. It's like Downton Abbey, but way louder. Just an eye, Ragnar, Fadewind, TJM, the Noembarbarian, Alain Am, and Traley the Cray-Fay. Nurses and technicians who were forced to deliver a baby after Dr. McAleian was suddenly transported to Mount Trimony. This is why you have to specify no plan or binding

in your birth plan, people. Jared E, Austin Bohns IMR, Daniel R. and cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, a team of assassins who have been sent to Ilivos in order to liberate it from the false king and co-false queens who have taken over. OctoLitch, Gage M. Richardx Machina, Michael L. and Sergio Salazar Salaman Securized a Sequoani. Blue Ray Artisans who spend years crafting a single friend's DVD. The triplets, the triplets, Calis hoarding a box sets has totally destabilized their industry. Trash the Traveler, Sir Carl, Jorias, Dana G,

Azoth, Shadows, Kalimel, and Ryan. Backup dancers from Jens' multi-song wedding performance, they were all hired for their extensive stage experience and more importantly their ability to tolerate being yelled at. Jack L. flawless whale, temporal, Sam L. Nicholas C. and recent S. Obsidian's Seahorse Doolas, who work with him tirelessly, feeding him prenatal vitamins and leading him through prenatal yoga. Samuel B, Mike H, Matthew E, Colton B, Adam G, and Mateo C, a future team of heroes who must take a cursed ring to destroy it in a mountain, lest it's bewitching, glowing inscription what do you mean other boyfriends seduce them astray. Nibbadger, Panama James, Cummins the Bard, Adrian the Halfling Bard and Dan, beetle breeders

who breed for shitheads. You'd think there wouldn't be a demand, but apparently there's been a lot of beetle sentimentality brewing in beetles and the people need a beetle steak. They don't have to feel guilty about eating. Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty. C.C. Lulu and Jay. The last co-queens to Reign in Trinneville, their co-queendom was riddled with scandal and imperial conquest.

Here's hoping Onyx and Nyak handle it better. Barnes & Ador. Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Crockwearing Warrior and Lucas B. The Weavers Who Make The Snuggest plus one AC moonicorn baby onesies. Ereness, Kevin M, hogfishes above average hog, New York, and Steven C, the maternity ward on the little moon where it is actually considered very rude to hold the baby after it's just been born if you're not a parent, as it implies you're going to steal the child, so really, Onyx was being quite polite. KJ, Michael M, Role and Mike K, Max will see and Karen J,

the only audience members at the Magic Mike show who stayed after Jen's hijacked the performance. Most of them thought it was performance art, and Karen J did write a well-articulated think piece about the thinning line between audience and performer afterwards. Justin Raccoon, Nick W. Matthew R. Esmey M. and Spartagnus, the royal ring bearers, who sold job is to bear the royal rings in royal weddings and got their proud livelihood delegated to a monocorn. Nathan, Kazami are the all-knowing, big bad beer to the mad. Eric M. and Jack Meehaw, friends of Jens' shit head bugs, they enjoy listening to music without headphones on crowded trains and writing long fan fictions that ship Ross and Phoebe. Burley T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius Caesar, Augustus, Germannicus,

Christian A and J. Dragonborn, five struggling romantics will be unable to forge a ring for their lovers because the triplets forge so many and use all the resources. Joe Rowe, the inappropriate, Liam D, the San Drian, Ben A, Feldonis, and Dave H, Trance, who are plotting revenge against Onyx and Jens from now on, anytime a tree waves in the wind, it could be their doom. Catherine S, David K, Christian S, Keith K, The Time Walker, and Emilio D, the jewelers at a regular-ass Jared store that was right next to the volcano, their customer service is impeccable, and it certainly would have been a lot easier.

Frankie Koala, Big Bad John, Aston S, Blair the Bug, Blair Barbar Blarean, and Pork Chop, the Knights of Blue, these Guardians of the Sky will defend your right to affordable, quality flights, and blue pop chips. Chanel M, Alice, Minette F, Pat L, Achootha A, and Lauren H. The Creators of Bowlwine, it's a bowl full of wine. There's nothing like enjoying a hot Cabernet in a giant trough on a summer day. Elias Hawthorn, Maddie-Matti-Wy, Alex H, the eldest Barry, Ryan S, and the bone-duster, the founders of Nuffin's muffins, a non-profit that focuses on delivering baked goods to moonicorns with terrible friends.

Joshua H, Robert, CRSP, Idrisil, Brently C. Micahby, and Ploups. The publishers of Jen's relationship advice book titled Only the Good Parts, The Publishing House Went Under Within Minutes of the Book Being Available on Shelves. Carly Ann, Conor Savage, Russell H, Christopher J.O., Logan S., Leviathan, and Dimae A., Jet Blue, Flight Attendants, who really put their professionalism to the test, not purposely dumping trays of drinks on the triplets every time they fly. Bioquart 7, Kenny, Remington CD, Amber K., and Everett P., Royal Bees, whose domain is the triplets apartment.

Most of their time is spent cleaning giant wine stains from the carpet, and they really wish the triplets would use cups instead of one large bowl. Trub Hop Dropper, K-Sosé, Jesse DLR, Lindy W, Champ Wilde, and Valin, Ringmakers who forged the cursed rings the triplets wore, apparently when Niaq picked his, Valin said, serves the asshole right. Ellen said serves the asshole right. Sprite Pepsi, Carlin C, Anthony S, Sally S, and Tristan C. The Goose invested in the forge and after centuries of great returns, it looks like their money is never coming back our bad. Jake, Emily S, the new petty king of Outerboro, C.C.

Matthew J, Scrippler, and Zane C had a super cool treehouse in the gym tree and are now plotting their revenge on the triplets for knocking it down. Michael S. the Bone Duster, Noah, Wyatt B, Loyal the Ogear, Rogue Cree, and Daniel N, Baby MunoCorn photographers who take really cute baby pictures of newborn MunoCorn families when they approach Tonics though, she hit them with a quick no thanks. Sam and Joseph H. David S. Mr. Dude Sky conflicted DM and Justin LB. More shithead Beatles who didn't get brought to the forge because they were too busy playing Ding Dong ditch when Jens came by.

Conor P. Dandy. Jennifer R. Clifton A. Rev. Chatter, and Richard G, the wedding band, who is actually still playing a 48-song mashup. The Jens is dancing too, it's gone on for so long, but it's too beautiful to stop. M. Barber, Marcus P, and Pupp, Kylaash, All Ship, Rachel, and Joey, but even more than that, they ship Rachel and Gunther. I'm sorry, what? Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to our short rest. Thank you to all of our listeners,

all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course, all of our benevolent council of elders. We'll catch you all next time. That was a headgun podcast. you