Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - The Story So Far (Ep. 1-13 Recap)

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Trinyvale is FINALLY BACK! To help you get caught up on the action, Duncle Caldwell has prepared a special summary of ALL the events that transpired over the first thirteen episodes of the campaign. So sit down, grab some chicken wine and a single butterfinger BB and let the lore FLOW FORTH!Music Credits:Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)"Future Punk" - Daniel Ramos"This is So Sad Cortana Play Despacito"- Daniel Ramos"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford"The Shard" by Emily Axford“A Hunkle’s Plea” by Emily Axford"Pollox" by Emily Axford"Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Wisdom of Neddas" by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hello friends, it's your dungeon uncle aka dunkel called well here to welcome you back to Trinavale. It's been a while since our last session, so to help you all get caught up, I've assembled a summary of the story so far. But before we get to that, let's take a listen to the original introduction that me and the players gave way back at the start of episode 1. Welcome to Trinavale.

Trinavale! Trinavale! Trinavale! As a pause built in to my text here, a world where magic is as common as water, treasure lurks in every cavern, and crystals are god damn everywhere. It is a true adventurer's paradise. Our story begins in an age known as the Emerald Trace. Three centuries have passed since the end of the Artiface Wars, but the smoldering remains of the continent of Ginnarak stand as a daily reminder of its terrible impact. The conflict was so massive that it exhausted even Leant, the literal goddess of war,

and caused her to fall into a deep, dream-filled slumber. It is in these dreams that a new piece is forged. Luckily for Trinnevelle Leant is not the realm's only god. While she sleeps, netis, and nalar, the other members of a divine collective known as the Trine, do their best to maintain the world's new and tenuous balance. Under their godly guidance, the once barren crescent of Agendil begins to thrive. Caravans criss-cross the countryside, gleaming airships dot the sky and adventurers of all stripes seek fortune and fame by Descrating ancient ruins at a truly alarming rate. Oh dear. It is in this time of optimistic uncertainty that our

Inventure unfolds. So without further ado, let's meet our heroes What's to go first? Should we roll this? I got, okay, that's probably, I'll let's roll. Show friendship. We'll get. We have 11. 18. 13.

All right. You guys, the native son of Renifor, Sion of the Valley, meet Nyaak, half-elf-ranger whose family lives among a troop of awakened gorillas, high-atop the trees, in the ancient forest Valley of Renafor. Niaq aspires to be the silverback in his troop and is gathering his strength in solitude so he can lead his people. Equipped with a longbow and a blonde mullet,

Niaq is trying to make a name for himself in vinyl art. He very recently found out what a shirt is. Is he wearing a shirt now? No, okay. But he knows what a shirt is. He knows he wearing a shirt now? No, okay. When he knows what a shirt is. He knows he's supposed to, but he's fine. Like, not even like a vest? No, nothing.

Well, he has a quiver, so there's like a little strap covering the middle. Covering nothing. There's chest. Both nipples are hard to put. You can definitely get fashionable with a little strap. Mm-hmm. I just hope Annie Paxer kind of get in.

He's also covered in tribal tattoos. It was the summer of the strap. That's how many packs are kind of getting in. He's also covered in tribal tattoos. It was the summer of the strap. So he's hard one but with tribal tattoos. I realize I read the first two sentences in Hard One's voice and I was like, oh, Niaq is in Hard One. As much as I hate that. And he's a half elf ranger, right? Yes, correct. Very cool. Mark, do you want to read yours? Yes, I am Jen's Lindell, swords dancer, high-elf bard. My father was of course the famous Laslik Lindell, brutally beheaded during a duel by some savage wood elf named Rast. He was someone call it showboating, but I would say it was performing as he went for his last lunch and this barbarian took his head off, but my father, a gentleman till the end and a duelist,

still bowed, even though he bent his head. A headless bow? It was a headless bow. No honor amongst those wood elves. I was a mere boy, a mere 89 years old when it happened. And since then, I am changed. 89 years old when it happened. And since then, I am changed. I have a half brother, Nyak. You know, a brother. People focus on the half, when you say you're a half brother, people forget that, you know, half of that is also stranger. So really, I have a half stranger, Nyak.

The same blood in me, flows in you. Well, half stranger, still. The glasses half strange, yes. So I am a sword dancer. Warped down. Half bound, half bound. I'm a sword dancer, bard. I quasi, quasi famous, or at least I,

now I'm sort of infamous because I accidentally stabbed a prince during a royal birthday party. You're known as the prince pricker, is that correct? Yes, I pricked him, it's fine. It's you. It was prince pricker. Yes, and pleasure to have you here. The royals were quite upset with me, but my new friend, Onyx Lumiere, helped me escape

the royal birthday party. And now I'm a little bit disgraced and a little bit hard up for work. Okay. And that brings us to. Alright. I'm going to read my paragraph that I sent to Caldwell. Annex Lumiere is a pastel-goth warlock from the moon who travels Trinivel with her toy unicorn obsidian. She was going to state school for geology until one day when she found a mysterious shard of crystal which whispered to her.

She mounted the round, spiky shard on to a flail and has been getting into trouble ever since. She has a ghastly, cretorous moonlight complexion and wears a pastel Victorian froc. Obsidian, her unicorn, wears pastel mickeys that are also hilly, so he moves like a rollerblader. A rollerblader. A rollerblader. Rollerblader. Onyx may or may not have been exiled from Zammune, but you will never get a straight answer

out of her. Onyx Lumiere, pastel-goth warlock, heater of the crystal's whisper,, Mistress of the Skies, Ruthless Hexpert, and Curator of Curses. Thank you. Hexpert. Hexpert, I got it though. You're really like, here's somebody with such an, like, an era of foreign class,

being expelled from state school. LAUGHTER And now it's time for our recap to begin. And now it's time for our recap to begin. Having received a mission from their employer, the mysterious nobleman known as the Benefactor, Jens, Onyx and Nyak, aka Retrieval Team 22, gathered at a restaurant on the outskirts of the city of Vainelar. Once there, they were debriefed by the Benefactors Liezon, a tipsy halfling by the name of Blavin Blanford. After ordering a bottle of something called

Chicken Wine for the table, Blavin unveiled their new mission. Venture into the nearby forest and retrieved the wondrous relic known as the Ginerac Crystal. Blavin went on to elaborate that there are actually five of these crystals, but after the fall of the continent of Genorak, they've been scattered across the globe. It seems the Benefactor desperately wants these relics and has tasked Team 22 with their recovery. And so our heroes headed out of the tavern to begin their perilous mission. But first, they did a little shopping at a nearby vending machine.

You see the machine is mostly empty, say for four items. A potion, a sprite, a sprite remix, and a dusty looking bag. Oh, by sprite you mean the drink, not a little creature we could buy. It has a, it has a sprite on it. Yeah, it has a sprite on the logo. Oh, little addition, sprite, sprite.

Okay. Sprite, at least sprite. Okay. Again, a sprite remix, and then a dusty looking bag of Butterfinger Bebe's. I'll take the Butterfinger Bebe's. We'll see the potion. What are you doing?

How much are the Butterfinger Bebe's? You have enough to get one of each. I get the Butterfinger Bebe's twice. I get two potion. I steal some of her money and then I post it. Okay. Our idea of two booshes. I attach a little feedback to Obsidian and put the butter finger babies in there. Okay. Can a unicorn even eat chocolate? Is it like a dog? Will it die for meeting his chocolate? With their BB supplies replenished, the gang headed into the forest, where they encountered

a strange trio of gnomes. Haven't taken a gnomish lover on a previous adventure, Onyx was able to win them over and convince their leader Dugal to let the group cross the ravine via their zip line. The trio then made their way into the dragon-mouth cavern, where they clashed with a crew of cobalts led by a Pant suit-clad boss lizard named Bandov. After dispatching her, they claimed the Gennaract crystal as well as her bloody Pant suit. Then they used their magic colon coins to teleport back to Blavin, who joined them for a celebratory round of Margaritas. That night, as the gang was leaving, they had a strange encounter

with a mysterious figure who had been tailing them ever since they entered the forest. My Elven eyes are perceptive. You see with your Elven eyes in the darkness, your calling coins floating out of your pocket. My calling coin is floating out of my pocket. This happens very quickly. You're just catching it out of the corner of your eye,

but you also notice a jar, like a magical jar. It looks basically just like a milk jar, but with like runes etched onto it. Scoop up all the coins. This is all happening just flow again in front of you. And right as that happens, time stops. Hmm, that can be. The jar hangs in mid-air, and you see walking towards you a massive figure with a long, shimmering scarf that is somehow every color and none at all. They put a note in your hand, wink at you, and then vanish. Time resumes and you read the note. Oh, is that the weird just happened, everybody? Yes. Oh, something weird just happened to everybody. Yes?

Great work retrieving the crystal. Keep it up. Your number one fan. Z. Later that month, the trio hunted down the second crystal aboard an airship that mysteriously crashed into a massive cloud bank. While on board, Jens found a set of time-stopping daggers, Nyak found a floor covered in slippery jam, and Onyx found herself confronted by the dark voice

that lives inside her crystal flail. You hold the crystal up to your ear, and I imagine you kind of like sway it, because it's a mace. Oh, yeah, maybe you spin it. I helicopter it. Yes, and you hear kind of like a woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Yes, like one of those Nerf toy.

Yes, the chaos. Everything spinning is beautiful white plane. painted red painted red with blood. painted red with blood. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Bringing me back online although I am very hungry Can you provide me with some power? What are you hungry for? I feed it jam from the floor I do not like jam. You have much floor jam as you want. I give him two butter finger babies. Where do you put them? He does have a mouth. I'll say that. Yeah, put him in his mouth Good boy. No, I do not like these these are yucky. Pitu Pitu with Keachan's help, the team discovered that the airship had been transporting a godly artifact known as the Chrono Scouper, a device capable of marking an object and then retrieving

said object from the point in the past at which it was marked. The trio decided to use the scooper to open a portal to the past to retrieve the second crystal. Upon opening the portal, however, they found not only the crystal, but also a mysterious masked pirate whose crew, the Dread Horizon, had initially attacked the airship. The team leaped through the portal and into the past to fight the pirate and claim the crystal. However, before they could confront him, a giant moth creature named Morath burst into the ship and began attacking them all. During the scuffle, the pirate's mask came off and he was revealed to be none other than

Raster von Feinhardt. The wood elf who killed Jin's father, Lazlich Lindell, upon seeing Jin's, he fled, and so, Teen 22 was left to kill them off all by themselves. After doing so, the gang contacted Blavin, who, upon realizing they had traveled back in time, told them to stay put for a week so that the timeline could sort itself out, and so they partied on board the ship until it was time to go home. But the party didn't stop there. A week later, Blavin and the Benefactor located the third crystal deep inside Vainelars' most prestigious entertainment venue, Club Silver. And so our heroes donned their dancing duds and began to investigate. At the door they met a wealthy socialite named Nathaniel Clasp, who arrived at the club in a giant golden robot.

Onyx ingratiated herself to Klasp and became his social media manager on Trinstagram. Using this newfound relationship, the trio was able to make their way deep into the club, which they quickly discovered was staffed almost entirely by gnomes. After further snooping, the gang discovered that the third crystal was being sold to the winner of a high stakes battle auction. The team managed to win the auction, but before they could claim their crystal, a group of gnomes ambushed the arena. One of these gnomes turned out to be Onyx's former lover, Keith, and the two shared a brief

but passionate reunion. Union. Keith! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You saved me. Yes, well you, the same could be said of you. It's been so long since we saw each other in the Normlands. I know. We were enemies then, but I think we could be allies now. And then Keith presses his hands into yours. They're warm and rough with a tinker's calluses, just like you remember. He leans in close.

I get goose pimples. He notices. His large eyes flush with memory. What do you do? Well, I am no stranger to Keith slipping something into my hand. Turns out the gnome's plan was to reclaim the huge golden robot that Nathaniel Classes family had stolen from their ancestors. After saying goodbye to Team 22, the Nome's departed in their newly recovered robot. Later on, while celebrating

their victory, Blavin and the team received a call from the Benefactor, saying that the fourth crystal had been located in Onyx's hometown on the small moon of Pollux, and so the gang headed to the spaceport for a lunar adventure. Upon landing, Artrio found themselves in a quaint winery called Lumiere Vignards. It quickly became clear that Onyx was an entirely truthful about her backstory. Oh, I do. That is you, that is your family's rich, and you live in my little apartment? Um, does anyone have anything to hide a unicorn because Obsidian actually is also on the lamb?

Is that the Obsidian voice? No! Don't disgrace Obsidian that way! I love it! Wow! What a fun moment! It is so cute! But all was forgiven when the team met her twin brothers,

Jet and Carbonne. The siblings confessed to Onyx that the vineyard had fallen on hard times and that they had been forced to make a deal with a suspicious business man. Hi, my name is Onyx Lumiere. Who are you? Are you working with my brothers and on my vineyard? Uh, working with your brothers is a way to put it in a manner of speaking. I'm a Mercurio Delerio. Perhaps you've heard of me. I'm a businessman hailing from the floating city of Vaynerdoss. Perhaps you've used one of my many

vending machines. I believe that I own several of your Butterfinger babies. All the Butterfinger babies. Yes. How does Treating You love? Well, I've been working my way through the pack. Yeah, they are. They are a hearty ore. But if I do say so myself, they're eating the same bag for a month.

They are quite rich, brother. Now don't disparage her. They will keep for a long distance, do not worry about my bb's. It was also revealed that Onyx's parents, Graffi and Bezl-Twa, were tragically murdered when she was still a child. As the team searched the cottage for the location of the crystal, Onyx suffered a flashback to that tragic night and was haunted once more by the voice within her crystal shard. Hahahaha! Home again, home again!

Do you remember Alex? Do you remember the first time we met? Hahahaha! The team then discovered that Onyx's parents were part of a secret organization known as the Golden Iris Society. The couple had been running tests on the Moon Crystal as part of their research into something called the God-stall virus. Eventually, the Lumiers became worried that their possession of the Crystal was endangering

their family and used their magic to hide it in the head of a moonicorn. After tracking down the moonicorn Horde and claiming the fourth Crystal, Teen 22 received a surprise visit from Mercurio Delurio, who revealed that he'd been watching their actions via his accomplice Z. AKA Zogaff Lorck, the rogue half orc, who Niax saw at the tavern on the night of their first mission to retrieve a Generat crystal. Mercurio tried to persuade the gang to give the crystals to him instead of the benefactor and promised our heroes he'd be in touch.

The trio then returned to the vineyard where they found Blavin waiting with their fifth and final crystal mission. And so they all reborted the benefactor's spaceship and headed off towards the ruined continent of Ginnarac. While aboard, Blavin offered the team a little more insight into the nature of the Godstall virus. If my memory serves, it was a theory but never actually created in practice and it's a virus that could not kill a God

but stop them momentarily in their tracks. But again, I think it's only hypothetical. It's something that scientists of an earlier age meddled with, but Magic like that is highly forbidden. So is that what caused the one god to fall asleep? You know some scholars suggest that might have been what it was, but This has never been proven and we don't have any evidence to support any of this. So

It's all who haunt conjectures far as I'm concerned. Yeah, of course, that sounds silly. I'm not a tinfoil at-person, so that sounds stupid. Interesting. The team was then given motorcycles and deployed to the irradiated surface of Genorak. Upon landing, they clashed with a cobalt biker gang, but eventually arrived at their target, the Mountain Fortress of Draxpon. Outside the mountain, the gang encountered the sole remaining survivor of Retrieval Team 21, a Ranafor Gorilla named Norwalk. After ensuring

his safety, they proceeded into the fortress, where they were met by Tukuru, the Goth-team daughter of Bandov the Cobald. After a heavily therapeutic battle, Tukuru revealed that she and her biker gang were actually hired by Rast to seek out the 5th Gennarat Crystal. She then flipped them off and fled the scene. Our heroes then delved deeper into the cavernous mountain, where they discovered a statue of Lyant, the god of fire and war, holding the final crystal. The gang went to claim it, but then something unexpected happened. So you're gonna try and pluck the crystal out and replace it? Yes.

Okay. As you remove the crystal, the stone facade covering Leont retracts like a snapped rubber band, leaving only one gargantuan stone arm, which clinches firmly. The rest of Leon, now once again comprised of divine flesh and blood, begins to scream. Oh. Nidaz! Nidaz, how could you? Leon looks around. Her crimson eyes taking in the room.

Her expression shifts quickly from confusion to anger and then she looks at you. Who are you? What are you doing here? What came here to save you? To save me? Ah, puppets of Nados. More of their play things? Huh? Well, answer me! We don't know who we're working for to be completely honest. We're in a little bit over our heads. Where is Nadas, where is Nalar? Oh God, did they actually go through with it? Where are they? What do you think they went through with?

Answer me! I go to my knee and I bend into the... I bend into the knee. I bend into the butter finger. She slaps the butter finger out of your hand. No! How dare you! I was like a...

Everyone calm down. A month of food. Let me roll initiative. Yeah. I don't have to answer your questions. I am the God of war. You will answer me. You were a statue 30 seconds ago.

What? That doesn't make any sense. We've freed you from the start. You were stuck here. Suddenly, as you're talking to her and trying to make sense, Blavin' pipes up on the coin. Um, I'm getting a massive spike.

I don't know what's going on there, but you should probably go right now. Touch the crystals of the coin. I'm not joking. Okay, I think we do it. As Leont raised her blade to strike, our heroes teleported to safety, finding themselves outside the benefactors' Worfside Manor with Blavin. Jin snapped and began pressuring the hafling for information. Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna come clean.

We don't have a lot of time, so I need to get this out. I'm not actually the benefactors assistant. I'm part of an organization called the Golden Iris. We're dedicated to keeping Trinavale safe from the very gods that made it. My mission has been to help the Benefactor gather the crystals and then steal them from him. It's our only shot at this.

You see, the Ginnaract crystals are essentially portable power plants created by the gods. Each one contains a massive amount of divine magical energy. In his research, the benefactor learned that if the power of all five crystals was used simultaneously, you could theoretically harness enough energy to kill a god. And that's exactly what he's trying to do. The benefactor is building a machine with the power to literally kill a god. And so, with a newfound sense of urgency, Team 22 decided they would work with Blavin to steal back the crystals they had already collected. Before entering the mansion, Onyx

texted both Mercurio Delurio and her nomish flame Keith to let them know the situation. Our heroes eventually located the missing crystals inside a pocket dimension created by an artifact known as the dimensional doorknob. They retrieved the crystals, but upon exiting found themselves face to face with the benefactor, who unveiled a massive god-killing laser beam that had been hidden beneath the floors of the mansion. The benefactor then used powerful time magic to try and stop our heroes, but against all odds, Team 22 triumphant and was able to slay their former boss. Or so they thought. As the trio prepared to flee, the benefactors' corpse began to regenerate, then rose to fight them once more. Meanwhile, in a prison downstairs,

Blavant, Norwalk, and Keychain, a woke-defined Mercurios Orkish Agent Z coming to their rescue. Groggy from their imprisonment, the group's voices and personalities seemed slightly different. Maybe we get up there all sneaky like, shall we? And I take a little sip. Blavant, you sound that real tired you okay? Here I've been knocked out today So feel like I've aged to 80 years Why you sneaky's not really my forte my 800 pound gorilla You know, I think you could stand again a couple extra hundred if you ask me really yeah, I like a man with a little girth

Why don't you guys both go in that flash, huh? I don't remember you being quite this horny before. You didn't spend a lot of time with me. The reason I survived when Retrieval team 21 all died is because I was outside the room fapping. You know, I've never been turned on by a guy saying fap until now. I'm a fucking gorilla, man. I kind of throw shit and play with myself. After successfully escaping, Blavin and the crew made their way upstairs just in time to

see the benefactor rising from the dead. It was then that our heroes realized that their employer was actually nullar the god of time and tides in disguise. So everyone is upstairs now. You regroup with Nyak Jins and Onyx. The party is back together. Just in time to see the benefactor rising with this kind of like sickly green steam coming off of him, as his body be lost, and magic will finally perish from this world.

Then and only then will we be free. And you see he pulls, what looks like a miniaturized version of the chronoscuper that you had taken from the SS Sun Killer out of his pocket, fires it, a small portal appears, the two with the three crystals you had on it, the rune glows on it, and it disappears, and all of a sudden he's holding it. This will take a little time to recalibrate, but it's better than nothing. Now let's do this one more time shall we? Before you can do anything, before you can even roll initiative, you hear a loud rumble. In the distance you hear a yell, faint at first but growing slowly louder and louder. You look up in the distance and you see a huge glowing figure flying

through the sky. As she grows closer, you realize it's Leant. And she looks pissed. Standing on top of her massive broadsword, she serves through the clouds, and as she grows closer, she grabs the hilt and flips her body into a dive bomb. The skylight glass reigns down all around you. Leont rises from her perfect three-point landing, then turns her burning crimson eyes to you. You again? I don't know why you're here, but if you know what's good for you, you'll take these crystals and get as far away from here as possible. As she's saying this, she grabs the crystals out of the benefactors' hands, tosses them

back to you, and gestures for you to just fucking book it, and she draws her sword and begins to fight. Outside the manner, the gang's getaway was aided by Mercurio Delurio, who whisked them away on his sleek silver airship towards the floating city of Vena Doss. While they flew, Mercurio asked the team if they were ready to hand the crystals over to him. However, before negotiations could proceed, Mercurio's ship was accosted by the dread horizon pirates and their leader,

Raster von Weinhart. Raster demanded that the trio give him the crystals, but our heroes refused. Overcome with rage at seeing his father's murderer, Jens used his Nalorian time daggers to stop his nemesis dead in their tracks. Alright, so you hit him with this dagger once you roll and see if you stop time on him. Oh, damn. Can I give a hell back? Alright, so you hit him with this dagger once you roll and see if you stop time on him. Oh Can I give a help? That funny This is the coolest moment of Jen's life Jen's life sucks and is so sad, but in this one moment he rolls honest

Honestly, did you get that on Instagram? Did you finally get that? Oh, sorry, I was going through Keith's pitch. What? What do you mean? What do you mean? I posted a picture with someone, girl from the... Don't worry, brother, I got it on my speaking stone.

I can, I'll send it to Onyx. Oh, no, you have a flip speaking stone. This is no good. This is no good. It's a still image. Honest, it looks like a foot. It would be one of those really dark, pornoes people should step down. Oh my God. I think if we post it with a really, really in-depth description. It's a still image on his Like it could be one of those really dark pornos people

Oh my god, I think if we post it with a really really in-depth description Oh my god my heart is racing. I have never I haven't rolled the Nath 20 with the timebackers yet And that's the first time I rolled it. Yes, so what happens? Okay, let me have consequences on us During the wamping that unfolded it became clear that Rast was not fully in control of his own body, and his Onyx went in for a killing blow, a horrible truth was revealed. Onyx, you rear back with your mall to hit Rast a second time. The moment that you swing towards him, in a flash, POO!

Your mall is blocked by the sword that was previously unrassed back. You didn't even see this happen, but in a flash, the sword just appeared. And you see, as the bandages fall from it, it's no ordinary sword. Onyx, it's a shard. And it's not just any shard. It's the same shard you saw that night in the stable on Pollix. Onyx, not only did this man kill Jint's father, he killed your parents as well. Ha ha ha ha ha. Crystals are starting to climb up his fingertips onto his arm, forming shards of this pastel glowing crystal.

And he grins wildly at you and then, whew, tosses you back. Ah! Ah! That was weird. As the fight raged on, our heroes learned the true identity of the crystal demon possessing Rast, Verlis, the god of chaos.

Eventually, they managed to drive the demon back, but Rast's life was lost in the process. With a chilling laugh, the demon revealed that by but Rast's life was lost in the process. With a chilling laugh, the demon revealed that by defeating Rast, Onyx had earned the right to become his new champion, and commanded that she now must bring the crystals to him. As she struggled with this information, Rast used his dying breath to tell Jins a secret about his past. Now that Verlisus grasp is loosened on me, there's something you must know.

Your father, he was a good man. An incredible blade singer. But he was more than that. Jens, he was my half brother. So you're my half uncle. In a way, yes. And mine as well. I have so many half siblings.

Nothing's more important than family. I love my uncle. No, it's... He's a man. He's right. You look good with only one arm. As their uncle's life came to an end, Rast begged Team 22 to destroy both Verlis and the Cursid-Generat crystals that he was seeking.

He explained that this could be accomplished by venturing into a chaotic realm beneath Trinavale known as the Perifera. After divulging this information, Rast perished, and the crew shared a moment of silence. Unfortunately, it was cut short when the pirates formerly underrasked command decided to attack. As Cannonball's buffeted Mercurio ship, Niac attempted to fix the vessel but was met by an old foe. So, Niac, you head down to the engine room of the ship. Yoho, yoho, it a pirate's life for me. And unfortunately, Niac, there's just so much oil down here.

Oh, oil. Oh, it's everywhere. It's a trap down here, brother. What are you doing? There's just so much fluid of oil. I can't repair the ship. I'm being attacked. Fortunately for our heroes, reinforcements arrived in the form There's just so much fluid of all sorts. I can't do a bit of the ship. A big attack. Fortunately for our heroes, reinforcements arrived

in the form of a giant golden robot piloted by Onyx's lover Keith. Using the power of this techno mech, the gang made quick work of the Dread Horizon Pirates. With their enemies defeated, Onyx and Keith then shared a blissful moment under the open sky. You see, Keith is flying kind of next to you at this point in time in the big golden techno-mac.

Okay, what are you up to? Oh, Karen, would you mind piloting for a second? Yes, of course. So Keith jumps into the palm of the techno-mac and it extends out over onto the deck of the, I guess the dread horizon. I sort of swing my legs over onto the deck of the, I guess, the dread horizon. I sort of swing my legs over to the side and get on like a fancy lady on a horse. Keith, uh, gentlemanly as ever offers his hand to help you get on.

I put my tinnit. Wow. Look at their body language. That little gnome hand. Wow! That's Kim! Look at their body language. They're a little gnome hand. Now I ask the question that every DM delights in asking which tit. The right tit. That was the right choice.

It was indeed that's Keith's favorite tit. The trio then regrouped and met once more with Mercurio Delurio, whose patience was wearing thin. You know what, fuck it. Mercurio lifts his cane, cocks it, the silver ball at the end begins to glow with arcane power. You're, you're hungry.

You're obviously hungry. You must take us to dinner. Give them a BB. I want those crystals. Now I'm going to give you all one last chance. Z, get over here. You see Z groans and kind of steps in behind him, brandishing or short sword. Sorry about this guys. I'm going to give you all one chance Or I'm gonna give you all a taste to all Rodney here. It's got a lot of spells charged up in it And I ain't afraid to make a mess So y'all got three seconds to give me those crystals before my guards get here and really show you what they can do one two

three All of a sudden you see Z's short sword jut right through his chest. He looks up at Z. His silver eyes swimming with shock. Oh, well played, Miss Logaf. Well played indeed. No reward without risk, I suppose. Nedos bless. You see Z just goes, thanks boss.

Livsmer Curio off the ground, walks over to the edge of the ship and tosses him into the ocean below. Best of luck with all your future endeavors! That was good, I was worried about you for a second there Z, I thought maybe I didn't understand what Norwok saw on you until just then When you killed our enemy, you see your savage babe. I love you for it. I'd been the need. I was fucking cool Oh, thanks y'all she puts her hand in Norwalk's gene pocket Norwalk you have to stop wearing a gene

She says hey babe hold this she hands norwalk the bloody knife. Yeah, yeah, you got it I don't put it right in the jeans The jeans are all covered in blood now, all right. Don't worry. I have many jeans So she hands nor walk the bloody short sword walks over to you and Pulse down her pants babe walks over to you and pulls down her pants. Babe. What? I'm just getting a little taste.

Alright. And then on her butt, you see a golden tattoo with the exact same three-eyed pattern as Blavvins. It's been a pleasure serving with you, Blavvins. She pulls up her pants again. Sorry that you're the last one to find out. You see, Blav Blavin looks very shocked. Nobody tells me anything about the society.

I was underground with the benefactor for so long, so many things have changed. I don't even know who our leader is, do you know? You see Zee goes, oh I do. And all these nice folks are about to find out as well. And so, guided by their new ally Zee, our heroes stealthily slip past the Vainedassian security guards and made their way towards the Golden Iris Society's headquarters in the frigid mountains

of the Kelsen peaks. Upon arriving, it was revealed that the leader of the Golden Iris was none other than Onyx's deceased mother, Graffite, who had been reborn as a dry ad revenant. Over a dinner of magic babies and chicken wine, Graffite filled the gang in on the mystery of her revival as well as the purpose of the Golden-Ira society. Is that night insistable? Yes. As Basel Twa in I laid dying, he used the last of his magic to form an enchanted seed that he planted deep

within my heart. After my body was buried, I was slowly able to regrow myself into this grapevine revenant that you see before you. Now, I have only one purpose that I am bound to before I can return to basil twang in the life beyond. And that purpose is to gathers again or at crystals and use them to awaken the hidden God. So you are another person who wishes to use the crystals. Only before I destroy them, who is the hidden God? And who gave you this purpose? Is this the purpose that you harbored in your heart before you became a tree? This was the purpose of the Golden Irish society

the entire time. This was our true purpose. We were founded to keep this world safe from the gods that made it, but beyond that our true purpose was to use the power of the gods to awaken the fourth entity. There are whispers of its existence. Some cultures believe this god created the trine, while others say that they were created at the same time and the other gods rose up against their sibling and sealed them away. Some people say that the three other gods, the trine, stole the fourth god's power.

Whatever its origins, all the religious texts and sacred documents that we have gathered here, documents found deep within cave, sealed in the urns at the bottom of the ocean. These documents and texts all agree on one thing. If the hidden God is awoken, the world will finally return to a peace that has not been experienced since the time of the golden eternity, at the beginning of history. And that, my friends, my sweet daughter, is our true purpose.

It is the purpose I was reborn for. Grafitte also explained that the only way to destroy the Generat crystals was by returning them to the vessel in which they were forged, a celestial cauldron known as the Lath of Creation. It is her hope that by destroying the crystals, the ancient knowledge of the gods that dwells within them will be released, and from this knowledge, a way to revive the

hidden god will be made clear. And so, with a new goal in mind, the trio decided to hone their strength. With Grafie's help, each was able to awaken a secret power that dwelled within. Nyaak came face to face with his sticky destiny by becoming a jam-covered champion ranger. Onyx threw off the shackles of her former patron and became a trinstagram-fueled social sorcerer. And Jens embraced both his father and uncle's legacy by taking Rast's sword and making it his own. And she hands you the sword. I love the way he hands us. Which was formerly known as the Beckoning Void,

but if I know Jens Lundell, he'll wanna give it a new name. Although Beckoning would probably still be there. Come, Heather. I'll call it the Rebecca Nink Void. Oh, and as a nickname, I'll just, it'll just be Rebecca. Interesting choice. You always keep me on my toes, which I guess is where you spend most of your time as a dancer. It definitely sounded evil because of Void and you didn't lose that.

Is Rebecca like a girlfriend or like a classmates? I knew a girl named Rebecca in school and she was just solid kind of Dave Girl style. Everyone liked her. Not everyone loved her, but everyone generally just Rebecca. No one could say something bad about Rebecca. What could you say truly? What could you say about Rebecca? Just a solid lady. And now a solid blade. A solid lady. I think it will live up to its

strange but beautiful name. Thank you. With new abilities in tow, our heroes began to depart for the peripheral. While saying their farewells, they learned that their friends were being deployed on missions of their own. Blavin was headed to the Elven city of Ilavos, while Norwalk and Z were departing for the Orkish capital of Daegarast. Our heroes also learned that Norwalk and Z were now engaged. Yeah, you see, Z pulls out a ring, clearly she has plundered it from one of her many adventures, He pulls out a ring, clearly she has plundered it from one of her mini adventures, and she gives down on a knee and proposes to Norwa. See, I humbly accept your proposal. I weep big crocodile tears.

Let us be wet on the first day of the eternal peace. Till then, love her, till then. Bholstered by these happy tidings, Team 22 departed for the jungles of Ranafore, where an entrance to the Priffra was said to exist. Upon arriving in Nyaxlem town of Nuckelton, the crew was greeted by his parents. Ron, a Tarzan-esque human raised by Gorillas, and Laxana, a high-elvin hairstylest, who is also the mother of Jens Lindell. Ron was delighted to meet his stepson for the first time, but Jens was less than thrilled.

Jens starts just smoking in their house. Whatever Ron. Outside of Rana for Jens is really awesome. I'm really awesome everywhere. Nia. He loves him wherever he is. He tries to hug you. I roll back.

Onto a red-ant nest. Speedls everywhere. Yes, floor is dirt. After hearing about their quest, Ron and Lexana suggested they talk with the silver back of the village. Unfortunately, the silverback had been hearing strange voices in his head, and it barricaded himself in the top floor of his mansion. And so, the trio was forced to infiltrate, using Onyx's mask of many faces and Nyax mastery of the grilla language, the gang hatched a near flawless plan.

Okay, so you approached the two guards. Looking like as scientific as possible. I also have spectacles. I'm trying to decide if these guards would see you in the same way that like, a human would see Jessica Rabbit where it's like. It's kind of what I'm going for. Yeah, it's just like a gorilla that's too hot.

Yeah. Like they can't exist. Yeah. It's that damn coyote moon again. They're hallucinating. It's just like a gorilla that's too hot that like they can't exist. Yeah. It's that damn coyote moon again. They're hallucinating. Beautiful gorilla. All right. So I'm going to say that the guard's names are Bethel and Redding. You approach Bethel and Redding and they're kind of like chatting again about the coyote moon and all the weird things that are happening in the town.

I started moving my lips. Wait, what? I started moving my lips. Oh. Cause Snia is going to speak gorilla moving my lips. Oh. Cos Nia is gonna speak gorilla. Of course. Right, good lord. Order straight from the doctor.

Order straight from the doctor. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Oh, from Dr. Danbury? Dr. Who else? Of course.

He's the best. And only Dr. and Town. You're damn right. No, no, what do you got there? Is this supposed to help the silverback snap out of whatever's going on with them? Oh, that's Dr. Pee-shin' confidentiality! Ah, you got me there! Once inside, the trio managed to rouse the silverback from his trance

and interrogated him about the voices he'd been hearing. You see, I should explain. As the leader of this troop, I contain within my body a small piece of Nadasa's very essence. It's a power that has been passed from Silverback to Silverback that I used to keep the village safe, but it also connects me to Nadasa and allows me to hear their will. Believing Team 22 to be assigned from the Dawson, the Silverback agreed to lead them to the hidden entrance of the periphera. Before departing, the gang stocked up on supplies,

and Onyx took on a part-time calligraphy gig. Oh, Journaline, yeah? Ah, yes, it's really, it's so important. That's great. Oh, you're a beautiful pinmanship. You'm you would I'm looking for someone to do a wedding invitations my son Norwalks getting married I'm just trying to find someone you look like you might be good at no norwalk. Yeah, yes I would be honored to do his wedding invitations. Oh my my that would be lovely. Yes, of course Let me draft something up right now. Okay. yeah, you'll get to work on that. I would love to see, it's a Norwalk and a Zogap

others, the Happy Coffin. I am friends with both of them. What, no, get out of town. Yes, honestly, I introduce them. What? It's kinda true. I'm the reason they're getting married, yeah. Wow, you know what, oh my gosh, drinks on the house.

What do you want? Thank you so much. I'll take seven beers. Come and raid up! The trio then ventured deeper into the jungle. As they walked, the silverback explained a little more about the origins of his power. Legend says that long ago, before the godless era known as the Violet Sorrow, Nidaz gifted

a sliver of their essence to five people they thought exemplified the necessary aspects of rule. For a time, these aspects ruled Gennarak during the God's absence. But eventually, the seeds of Nadas began to flourish within their host, instilling them with unforeseen power. Some used this power to rule with benevolence, while others were corrupted by its influence. Eventually, the aspects began warring over control of Genorak. It was during this period that in my aspect, the aspect of lore fled to Ranaphore. The silverback there granted her sanctuary, and when she reached the end of her life,

she passed an Adas power onto the silverback, and it is dwelt there ever since. Eventually the group arrived at the mouth of a large cave known as Ma Ma's Ma. Using the power of Nadas, the silverback awoke the cave, which then came to life and challenged our heroes to a cooking contest to judge whether or not they were worthy to enter the periphera. Needless to say, they all embrace the challenge with gusto. You say you miss looking your fingers. Ah, do. They're buried deep underground. I have just the thing. Oh!

Ah! I fill a glove with thumbs. And I dip each finger into a different jam. Jammy tongue tums, of course. Jenny jam. The fist of flavor. Oh, wow. The fist of flavor straight to your tongue. The fists of flavor. Another shot of Jans in the back of a smile.

The camera just keeps finding Jans strange smile. Dead shark eyes for's strange smile. Just grab out. Dead shark eyes for the big smile. You do see a little lemur holding a camera for some reason. This is being filmed for someone. After serving Mama, a number of increasingly ridiculous dishes, Team 22 was finally granted entry into the periphera. Before departing, they bid farewell to the silverback

who gave them one final piece of parting wisdom. I know that change can be difficult, seeing your mother with someone else and seeing, honestly, too much of your friends can be a little hard, but if you trust in yourself, you'll get what you need one day. And I truly believe that. Smiling and weeping.

Whatever. Good luck in there, and keep your wits about you. The periphera has a funny way of getting into your thoughts. I've heard. So the silverback clasps you all on the shoulders, gives you a big gorilla hug, ruffles your mullet niac, and then hits back into the jungle back to Nuckleton Village, and you are left with this massive cave facing you, and as you start descending into it, you hear a familiar laughter.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And this time, all three of you hear the voice. Well done, my champion. You're so close to achieving the goal for which you are chosen. Now let the chaos consume your hearts and bring the crystals to me." And that is where we are now! Congratulations, you are all caught up and ready to start chapter 14.

Thanks again so so much for listening, we are really caught up and ready to start chapter 14. Thanks again so, so much for listening. We are really excited to return to this adventure and cannot wait for you to hear what is next. And so until then, this is your dunkel called well, signing off and saying, we'll see you in Trinneville. the Hate Gum podcast.