Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Bahumia Mini-Arc - Ep. 03: Secrets of the Static

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

With their enemies defeated and the Green Teens in tow, the Trinyvale Triplets return to Moonstone Bay only to be greeted by a new, even stranger adversary. Onyx finds a new snack, Jens gets a totally normal sword and Nyack becomes a Goo God as the final chapter of the Trinvyale X Bahumia Crossover unfolds!GET AUSTRALIA LIVE SHOW TICKETS HERE! - https://naddpod.com/liveGET YOUR SOL BUFO PLUSHIE HERE! - https://www.makeship.com/products/sol-bufo-plush---CREDITSEditing and Production by Trevor Lyons (@LyonatLarge)Mixing and Sound Design - Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG)Trinyvale Intro and Outro by Emily AxfordLogo Design by Chelsea LeCompteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Trinavale! Bahumia! Bahumia! Bahumia! Which one do we go with? Nobody knows. It's confusing. It's a confusing time in the world. Why choose? Well, yes, you do not need to choose because you're having it all the triplets are certainly having it all They are up to two real estate properties at this point. I believe yes

They've got the mayor's manner. We're moguls. They've got the sunken keep. We're moguling That's right folks the triplets are back for one last escapade in Moonstone Bay. I'm your tour guide slash Dungeon, Uncle slash Donkel, called Wil Tanner, and I'm also joined as always by Emily Axford. Scammer, counterfeiter, green teen, babysitter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to this arc for an eye act. Prease plorn eye act, we'll show you how. Oh, all right. Am I doing it right? Absolutely not.

And of course, Brian Murphy. He's kind of a lot, and he's the leader of Cot, Jens Lindell. Remember that, Cot, cult of the Trident, cult of the Trident. Wow, so many different cults for me. Yeah. So yes, we're all gathered here again to worship the Trident, but before we get to that,

how about a quick recap? Let's do it. I love this. Of course. So last time we met, you three were on your way into the Moonstone swamp to rescue the green teens. When you saw a strange, static ghost in the shape of an old woman holding a Trident. The color drained from the world and she whispered something then shook her head and vanished. Afterwards you heard a monotone voice in your head say,

The color then returned to the world and the bay returned to normal. At least as normal as possible because the trident on its floor is now pulsing with a dark red light. Reaffirmed in your desire to worship this trident, you headed into the woods as the Trident whispered to Onyx, telling her to return to me, claim me, bring me blood, and so on and so forth. After a brief argument about whether you were going to claim the Trident or worship it, you proceeded to the shores of the swamp where you instantly started complaining about the Shabby State that the dock was in. However, you finally headed into the swamp, shouting Nana as loudly as you could.

While in the swamp you encountered bullywok scouts and hungry giant snakes, both of which you quickly dispatched and fed to the Trident, which began to sing an enchanting tune. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Jins in his greater invisible line braces was a special jealous. They don't even look that good Eventually you reached a clearing where you saw a group of bully wugs and cobalt's having a meeting The cobalt's gave the bully wugs a bunch of weapons and the bully wugs handed over a few wriggling burlap sacks However before the groups could depart Jins cast a classic chain lightning spell and fried both the bully w one king and the cobalt cult leader in one go. Overwhelmed by your power, the bully wugs and cobalts instantly became followers of KOT,

A.K.A. the cult of the Trident and handed the missing green teens, Kran, Erlin and Durlin over to you. Upon seeing children for apparently the first time, Onyx fully freaked out and posted a video to Tristagram with the caption, What are these? What's this? It's your Jack Skellington era. The cobalt then led you and the green teens to the big sunken keep deep in the swamp. Niaq used his Ranger skills to assess the foundation of the keep and you were then led up to the treasure spire where you spotted some cool relics, the dragon egg, and most importantly, the bones

of the black dragon known as Shadowfay. While there you heard that strange, static noise, and saw that all the cobalt's bodies had been covered in a cold, gray static as well. You heard a strange, increasingly familiar voice say, after that the static covered cobalts melted into the bones of Shadow Fang, causing her to be revived as a skeletal, revenant dragon. She flapped to the top of the spire, led out a dreadful roar and began to attack. Naya kidnapile of treasure where he found a brand new black wing bow, Jin's blasted the dragon with electrical energy and also gave her tips on early 2000s fashion.

Onyx, who's keeping an eye on the green teens downstairs, switched from babysitter mode to blaster mode and tossed eldritch blasts and stars at the dragon from afar. After that, Jens used Powerward's stun to down the dragon, giving Durlin a chance to perform his first ever-defined smite. Weakened by the power of Polore, Niaq let loose two holy arrows and two holy sneezes, destroying the dragon Shadowfang once and for all. After that her unclothed bones scattered like dust on the wind and that is where we are now. So you're all kind of spread out through this castle.

Jens you and Nyak are up in the northwest spire. Nyak you're even higher than Jens and you're like perched on the top of this like ruthless tower. So the closer to God, Shadowfink. Yeah. As you start talking about Polora and not the Trident, Jen gets shark-eyed and starts walking towards you, just hands shaking, thinking about pushing you. Yeah. Brother, come, let me tell you about Polora.

I just met him. About Polora. Onyx, you hear this conversation happening as you are down below, you ran outside the keep with the green teens to fight the dragon from below. And you see Naya kind of chatting with Jins, but you can't really see like what Jins is saying. I am walking towards him. He's pretty cool. He's not my hands up. He's not Joey cool, but you know. I'm going to go into Mary Puppens mode and gas fly on myself. And hold out my hands for the children to hold them and say come with me children.

Right away, colloquially. And then I want them to hang onto my arms as I ascend to Sindele from Mortal Kombat style. Up, up in a way. All right, Onyx, I need to talk to you for a moment. We have a problem here. Okay, one minute. Children, I need some privacy and I drop them. Okay.

Oh. To drop them in the castle or outside the castle. I'll fly back down to deposit them, but I definitely drop them like 10 feet. This is how they get dropped off for school, so they're used to this. Great. Yeah, I pull on exercise. Onyx, I'm worried that these teens are having a bad influence on NIAK. Why are they smoking? No, smoking would be cool. In fact, maybe we should get that drill and tell me more about God. I'm so curious Do you see this? There's only one God and it's at the bottom of the bay

I My weapon was kind of my God for a bit And it was it was a high that I was happy to ride but I am happy to be good I know that this tried and think just came into our lives like three hours ago but I feel like this is forever you know what I mean? Oh no, this is my second person. Right, that's what I'm saying. I think you guys are flip flopping a lot on the Trident.

Are we caught or are we not? I'm saying if you just let Nayak just embrace this entirely, he's gonna get bored of it. Interesting. Okay, yeah. No no that's good. Okay, yes, Onyx and I are going to do some drugs and drink and throw rocks at strangers. Greenteens, you guys are allowed to do that, right? Oh, I mean, not really.

We kind of like self-police ourselves with like the light of floor and we do it's best for our bodies because they're temples and we keep them pure. Oh right okay. I also yeah I don't really partake in the eating of a bad fooder. Whoa you don't eat food either that's called fasting that's one of our traditions. Really it doesn't agree with me. Yeah. Wow. I do like throwing what about a pebble at a stranger is that fine? Sorry that's no good yeah if you want the light to swell up in your heart, then you can't throw pebbles at strangers unless they are evil That's okay. What does Polar think about disgusting wealth

Well, all our parents are pretty loaded so I think it's kind of a loophole as long as you donate a little bit Interesting, okay, Durlin you do something this. I push Niaq off the towel. Oh! And as I push him, I'm going to wait until the last second to see if Durlin casts any spell, and I fly ready to cast Niaq. You see Durlin and the rest of the green teens freak out. And I reach out to my god. And I cast, I do cast fly on, on Nia, Kessie's about to eat.

At the last minute, you see them pull out a green teen parachute from their bags, and they flip it up into the air, and then pull it taut, and Nia, gently lands into it, and they believe that they have saved him through the air and then pull it taught and Nyak gently lands into it and they believe that they have saved him through the love of Polore. Okay, wow. But surely you saw that I cast fly, right? You guys just didn't do anything.

Just like when Dirland did that smite before. All right, we're closed. We were busy focusing on saving our friend. Your eyes were closed while you were getting the parachute ready. It's called a leap of faith. Ah, that getting the parachute ready. It's called a leap of faith. Ah, that's what I did. I just took a leap of faith and I was caught by Pallor.

I dispel the fly on the back. Oh, crashed to the feet of the ground. Hey, do you pose, oh, it was warrant to go look at some treasure. You totally forgot about that. Yes, did any of the other members of Cot survive? Because I don't like who's around right now. You see that unfortunately, the cobalts that melted and formed into the bones of Shadow Fang are no more.

Didn't they were part of the ritual? No, that makes sense. Is that what the treasure is around? The treasure is around. Yeah, you are kind of alone in this keep now. It's just you, the green teens, Keychain, and of course the light of Polar. Do you guys realize how many freaking Yankee candles we can buy with this? Yeah, I start going around and just grabbing coins and things and putting them in a bag.

Okay, great. Do you all want to like take a look at what it's got to be? Yeah, absolutely. Cool. So you all head up to this tower. you relocate there, and here's what you see. You see a holy symbol with a sunburst on it. You see a pair of green boots made of leaves that are knee high. You see a golden fiddle, and you see a shimmering cloak. And then you also see front and center, on the top of the treasure, this dragon egg. It's black covered in scales,

and about the size of a football. And if you get close to it, you can almost swear you hear a little bit of a heartbeat. Niac hip checks, Durlin and Cran. And dives towards the horde and says, Jens, which one do you want? Which one do you want?

Tell me quickly. I will take all of them. I think we'll split them up. Onyx, is there anything that you're feeling? Uh, whatever you don't want. Okay, great. No, I assumed that. Yeah, I guess I'll definitely take those boots.

Those are looking cool as hell. Great. Yeah, you take the knee knee high boots of Elvenkind and get advantage on stealth and performance checks. Yes. Onyx, what would you like to grab? Does Mary Puppens wear a cloak? I could see that.

I think it would be like a pea coat. Or like a little pea coat. A little like that. And then umbrella. I look for one of each of those. I look for an umbrella. Actually, I'll just take the cloak and I'll disguise it to look like a pea coat.

As you pick up the cloak, you see that it kind of magically forms into a pea coat with just a mere thought from you. And you also see that it's kind of shimmers like a mirror almost. And with another thought, you realize you can multiply this cloak into multiple garments. This is a shift weave cloak

and it can transform all of the party's garments at will. Wow. Interesting. So we could be a trio of poppins. Mary Poppins had a magic little suitcase. That's, yeah, that sounds really similar. Yeah. Nyak is interested in this holy symbol these similar. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Nyak is interested in this, uh, holy symbol these days.

Oh, um, you pick up this holy symbol, Nyak, and when you do, something a little strange happens. The symbol of plore that you see on it, this big sunburst burns in your palm, ow, then cracks fully into, it kind of sizzles a little bit, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss A company buy a little bit of static, and then it settles, and you kind of feel attuned to this item. This is the equalizer. Whenever your party rolls a one or two on the D20, the numbers get added to this amulet. Once those numbers add up to 20, the amulet crackles with gray static light. The person whose dice roll triggered the 20 can then perform a critical hit on their

next weapon or spell attack. Ooh, wow. God is awesome. You broke it. It burned me. We're just gonna have to melt this down now. Do you think you did anything wrong, Niaq? For it to burn you?

I guess maybe I didn't accept Polar early enough. What do you think, Durlin? I don't know. I've never seen an Abbeyla do that before. It looks like something else is going on there. Durlin will make a Religion check. Come on Durlin. You're the smartest guy. I know what? Durlin. Oh shit. Durlin got a 16. Yeah, I feel like I remember reading about this in class. It might be cursed. I don't know. Yeah, I was going to say as someone who has worked with many cursed items, can I do it? Is there a check?

Yeah, for sure. It did burn me. I didn't know. I got worse. Nevermind, I don't know too. You think it looks better this way. All right, so we've got this coin. We've got, and I'll just, what the hell, I'll take the dragon egg. We could feed it to the Trident.

Oh, that's smart. You take the dragon egg and you see that the green teams all start fighting over who gets the golden fiddle. Me, my turn, my turn. Oh, you got, okay, we've got to put something inside the fiddle because you guys are going to be really loud with it. I'm going to just cut the strings real quick, okay? You try to cut the strings, but they are made of me-threal and cannot be cut. Goddamn it. All right, you get the fiddle when we get back. I don't want to hear you guys play weird songs, all right?

Oh, right. We've all taken so many lessons. Oh, God. Okay. Let's get these kids back and get the reward and feed the rest of these bodies to the trident and get the hell out feed the rest of these bodies to the trident and get the hell out of here. Yeah.

Awesome. So you do that. Onyx, are you going to put on the shift we've cloaked? Um, I kind of like my mates out here and my bully one teeth, so I'll save it. You can do all of them here. It tastes pretty cute. Are you going to wear the knee high boots? do all of them. It tastes pretty cute. Are you gonna wear the knee-high boots?

Yes, of course. Cool. You slip those on and you do kind of feel that same static sensation that occurred when Niac put on the amulets. Just like a little bit of like a... It seems fine. Just in case Niac is gonna try taking off the amulet. Let's see what happens if I put it in my pocket.

You put in your pocket and Nayaca, you still feel kind of this sensation come over you. It's this cool, lukewarm sense of balance. It's strange, you don't feel good and you don't feel bad. You just feel kind of like even when you have this on you. Yes, equal, okay. Your stomach doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good. just feel kind of like even when you have this on you. Yes. Equal. Okay. Your stomach doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good.

Interesting. That's just the status quo for Nia. Yeah, that's a first for you, I think. I feel okay. So you've cleared out this tower. Do you want to descend back to the second floor? Yeah, let's get out of here. Great.

So you descends to the second floor. You were in a bit of a rush the last time you came up here, but now you get a better look at it. And you see that the second floor is kind of like a ritual area it seems. It's almost like a dark chapel. There's this altar in the center of the room, and then the banner that has been defaced

with a dragon hieroglyphics, clearly drawn by the cobalt. You see that the banner has these like three triangles and a tight formation. Then there's also this like big stained glass window with an image of a dark sorcerer. His hands are glowing with black and purple. And it seems strange that you didn't notice it before. It almost seems like for whatever reason,

it just like didn't catch your eye, but you swore that it like wasn't even there before. Can I do our gunnac check? For sure. Not one. Oh god. Charges your amulet. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, mark that down. It's got one. Great. Now, you fish the amulet out of your pocket and you see the black and white sides swirling a little bit as it swallows this one. But yeah, Onyx, you look at it. It's black and purple and it's real pretty.

Wow, that's awesome. I mean, we could just take the individual pieces of stained glass and throw this up in our apartment. We could also order a bunch of cheap furniture from Target and Photograph this for the Swamp B&B. Oh, that's good. Like really front load the pictures of the stained glass room. Exactly. And then everything else can look like ass.

Berlin, Dirland, Cran, do you guys have accounts? We can start off with three reviews. That'd be really helpful, actually. I know you have a batch. Yeah. We had to be up here fucking reviews. I didn't use the family computer to do that. I don't know how to allow to love a speaking stone yet. Alright, just an IOU then for review.

Do you want to inspect this area a little bit more? Yeah, look around. Give me a perception or investigation. 16. That's 20. Great. Yeah, Jins, this is kind of your aesthetic. Like it's like a big stained glass window. You think you could put like a white fuzzy rug underneath it or something like that? Yes.

Church cheek. Yeah. So you walk over to the window and below the window kind of like shining light onto it, you see this like altar. It's made of this like smooth dark stone and set it up. The altar is a single a deep bowl full of teeth. You see again this like glass stained window above it, but as you get closer you can kind of see the figure depicted in a little more clearly. And you see this sorcerer who's making these strange multi-finger gestures with each of his hands. The left hand has two fingers and a thumb extended, while the right hand has all the fingers

except for the ring finger extended. Can I pop one of the teeth like a ball of mince at a restaurant? Well, we definitely should photograph those for the listing. That's a weird point. How many teeth are in the bowl? Let's keep the teeth out of the picture, so sure. This is strange. I hunched down like

a football player to try to get to the teeth. Okay. I think rapopics. There's a fuck ton of teeth in here. This is concerned about it. There's 44 teeth. He doesn't eat as many teeth as you want. I crunched down on it. Oh, you've got dense vomit. I smile my fake. There's so strong in here. Onig. You're a caregiver. Uh, Jen's with a nat 20, I'll say.

As soon as Onig's pulls that tooth out, you hear the slightest, almost imperceptible, rumbling inside the altar. Huh. Okay. So there's something to that. Ooh. Tooth that. Toot that. Did-

Oh! Oh! Very good, very good! Oh, the kids are laughing. I thought that was in the altar. You guys would love friends if you liked that kind of humor. Don't, you guys aren't allowed to watch for it. I would put on an episode of Friends on Keychain for that.

Oh, yeah, they zone out. Okay. So the alternator sound, did it seem like things were on the way to working or did it sound like something actually happened? I will say again with a nat 20, it seemed like a good sound. Okay. So should we all eat the teeth? Nihac will try a tooth. I don't

usually like food, maybe I like teeth. Everyone's stop eating fucking teeth. Next up is on a K9. You pop another tooth and again, Jindy, you're just like a very, very faint. Okay, maybe let's take out all the teeth until they're seven left because the guy was making had seven fingers up, I believe. You remove all but seven teeth. Do you eat them? No. No.

Brother, there's only one way it works. You don't know that. It's sort of making weird sounds as if we took the teeth out of the, this is not causation, all right? So are you not going to eat the teeth or are you going to eat the teeth? You can eat the teeth. You can eat the teeth.

Thank you very much. Everyone else is the teeth. Each end sits down with a popcorn bowl full of teeth and starts crunching while watching grow. See, when he does it, it's not as bad as his fucking robot. When I think about teeth hitting teeth, I hate it. Ooh. Jens, so you remove the teeth, you give it to keychain,

but as soon as there are only seven teeth left in the bowl, the altar shakes and moves, and a pillar rags us from underneath it. You see a top, the pillar is a long case. And when you open the case, you find a beautifully crafted long sword made of strangely black steel. Sick. You see it's kind of like shimmering in this

stained glass moonlight. Just begging you to touch it. Seems awesome. I'm not gonna touch it. Yeah, I grab it right away. Great, you touch it. As soon as you do, the sword is covered in gray static, and then slowly changes shape.

The blade thins and the hilt becomes more ornate, and then the static fades away to reveal a jet black dueling saber. You get a plus-three bonus to attack and damage with this. And nothing else happens, don't worry about it. Exceptive it is great. It is, of course, cursed, but coming into it extends the curse to you.

You are unwilling to part with this weapon as long as you have it on your person. You must keep it in reach with all the times. You have disadvantaged with other weapons. When a hostile creature damages you, you must succeed on a DC 15 wisdom saving throw or go berserk. This seems fine.

Stay with it. Stop looking up my sword. Stop looking at it. It's yours. I don't even get around. I do even try to touch you. I assume it was for an eye act. I would try. Yeah, your brother. I was offering you a tooth. Oh no, sir. All right, I'm hanging up my thread here. You know what, there's a whole place to remind me of a bar that I got turned away from one time. It was really cool, all right. It looked like it was a church, but it was a bar. A church bar?

It was a church bar. It was cool. Was it like a Saturday night or something? No, I've been to it. Okay. But just the one time I was wearing shorts. Was it like a Saturday night or something? No, I've been to it, okay. But just the one time I was wearing shorts. Why? So I thought they looked good and they did.

Well, we're all wearing shorts. You must've looked really cool. Stay away from my sword! Cool, fine. They go back to watching friends. Cool. So yeah, you found this cool, like totally normal blade. Is there anything else you want to do Oh, why? They go back to watching friends. Cool. So yeah, you found this cool, like totally normal blade.

Is there anything else you want to do or are you ready to head back to the Moonstone Bay? Let's get these kids out of here. Yeah. Yeah, this sounds good. All right, great. So you claim everything, you also take the dragon egg, the teens have the fiddle.

I think Jens has the fiddle. Yeah, I have the fiddle until we're clear of them. And we also reserve the right to keep the fiddle. Yeah, I have the fiddle until they until we're clear of them Okay, and we also reserve the right to keep the fiddle, you know that we yeah It was it was a light promise. I'd like yeah, it's more so you're you're keeping the fiddle until they prove it They're worthy of holding the fuzz and they might not and they might not The teens they are on their best behavior now tell you what, whoever stays the quietest gets the fiddle. Oh, I love this game. You lost already.

No! No! You see, Irland is like dead serious. He gets like a really focused look in his eyes and just nods. This kid gets it. All right. Let's get going. A more of a cello guy.

Dirland, dude. Dirland, do you want my coin? I don't even know if I want it. Let's get going a more of a cello guy Durland dude Durland do you want my coin? I don't even know if I want it Do you want me to hold the coin? I act I? Forgot you're here. No Keychain do you believe in bill or? Do you have a god? I've never asked you. Ha, do I have a God? Well, some robots believe that we are all the divine. This is a lot. He changed, puts the Bible, he pulled out of his compartment and his chest back into

his chest. You catch just a glimpse of something saying the divine order of mechanics and then it just goes right back in. Okay, fair enough, more teeth for me. Everyone's got really preachy, okay? We need to go feed the trident. Yes. Okay, so you make your way out of the sun can keep and back towards the moonstone bay. As you return to the clearing,

where you first saw the bully wugs and cobalt's meeting, you see that a group of bully wugs has gathered there once again. In the flickering torch light, you can see that they all now wear wooden masks with trident screw'dly drawn on them in blood. Yes, there we go, my colleagues of allies. So, for I don't, for I don't.

Yes, three yards prongsongs three shall be the number of the people who shall come to save us three shall there be and we shall be free These guys have the right of it finally. Yeah, okay, okay great Trident do you want worshipers or do you just want more bodies? Good to me a religion check. Five. Five. The Trident like sings in a way that makes it seem like it's just saying. Ah!

I don't know. Okay. Okay, take it. Alright, let's go meet up with our other fellow members of Cot. Okay. You go to do that, but before we meet up with our other fellow members of Cot. You go to do that before you do. You hear a bully wug in the back of the group say, hey, wait up. And you see this small little orange bully wug about half the size of the other one's

like jump forward. Oh, hey y'all. My name's Joni. It's nice to meet you. Apparently, it's thanks to y'all, fun folks that me and my kin are still alive. Ice cream as it is, jumps forward. Whoa. I take out my camera, throw a big shot. A traditional crit greeting.

Jesus. Yeah, it's great. We're all on the same side here. We can all agree that the trident is great. Yeah, we love that trident. Yeah, anyway, so as I mentioned, I'm from the Crick. It's a very hospitable place. I'm here because something weird's going on there.

I like to say that something's icky at the Crickie. That's just me, though. I'm Joni. I don't know if I mentioned that. My name's Joni. I'm Bollywood. Yeah. Yeah, that seems a little off.

Why would we want to go there if it were icky? We're kind of used to like top tier hotels. I would be like, something's a miss at the Crick or something like that. Like just off the top. No, icky at the're kind of used to like, also a pure hotel. I would be like, something's a miss at the creek or something like that. Like just off the top. No, icky, the creekie really sits right with me and I'm not going. Probably not Ganon, but yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, I wouldn't go to the creek if I were you right now. It's all kinds of messed up. That's the reason we came here. We're gonna ask the druid about a cure, but you know, while we were out in the swamp, a trolled and stole my mama and my brother cousins and my sister aunts. We all got hungid about a cure, but you know, while we were out in the swamp, a troll didn't stole my mama

and my brother cousins and my sister aunts. We all got hung up by a troll, but then luckily these bully wugs, they were coming down to fix that dock, you know, at the edge of the swamp. They heard us call her in. They were supposed to do that. Yeah, they did a great job.

You're really gonna love it, but they heard us call her in and they came and rescued us. And well, so it turns out, it's thanks to y'all that we've been rescued, thanks to the glory of the Trident. So I just wanted to say just a big thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And you know what, here's a little thing we got together. Just as a little thank you gift. You see, Joni hops over and hands you three water breathing potions. Wow. This is perfect. We can go check out the Trident in person. IRL, up close. Oh. Yeah, if you want to like go check out the Trident in person. IRL, up close.

Oh. Yeah, if you want to like commune with the Trident or just like say hi to it, like, you know, feed it some meat, it's whatever you want to do. That's awesome. I could give it this coin, Jens, you could give it an egg. If this is lovely. Yes.

We appreciate this, Jony. I'm just, you know, stay the fuck away from my sword. Right? Yes, sir. I understand. Just stay back. OK understand you're gripping it awful tight sir Everyone stay back. Well, we're all friends. We're all part of God. So everybody stay the fuck away from my sword, okay? There's a bunch of teeth back there if anyone's hungry by the way you guys can go and see May none ever wrong the prongs as they say

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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. So yeah, you bid farewell to Joni and the rest of the bullywugs, and you head back out to the entrance of the swamp. You do see that the dock and the boat house have been beautifully restored. Wow. There's a bullywug wearing a little sailor uniform. It smiles at you with this big pearly teeth and begins untying your speedboat as you approach. Wait, Nayak, should you see if it is done to your liking?

Yes. Nayak gets down slithers across the dock, almost like a Salamander. An inspection. Knocking at all of the joys, all of the pylons. All these ropes tied together tightly. Is there any mildew? Yeah, I need to know. I just rolled a nat 20 on my

wow investigation check of the dawn. Your inspection. Yeah. Incredible. I'm gonna roll a sleight of hand for the bullywag to see how good a job it did. And you're gonna know if he didn't. Did you just put lipstick on a pig?

Did you just put lipstick on a pig? That is a three Not gets a huge sliver in his neck Did you stand this at all I use my tongue I licked all the splinters out. I must have missed some Chense this guy guys I in your sword. Stop looking at my sword. Never do that. Stop looking at my sword.

Do you want some sparkling water? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Finally you offer sparkling water. That's that five star service. Thank you. Is it just swamp water that you put through an aeropress you have to be honest. It's a sauna stream. It is from the swamp.

So as long as it's a sauna stream I'm fine with that. As long as it's carbonated. This oil margarita we've really gotten into those recently. Of course I've got some batches and ready to go. Right. Sorry about this blinner, sir. Yeah, let's get a belt sender down here, ASAP. We can just go ahead and tear it down. You're going to want to start from scratch. Understood.

There was no saving the old dog. Yeah, you see the bully walk? Pulls out a war hammer and just starts demolishing the dog as you board your boat. It's great. We don't want any splinters in it at all. You should be able to lay on it at like a salamander as a half-naked dude.

I never get a splinter. Just keep destroying it until you get it right away. You should be able to fuck on this dock. I got it. Fuck off the dock. There you go. Very good. Don't look at my sword.

Sorry, sir. Okay. Shall we check these water potions? We have to drop off the teens first. Oh God. I forgot they're being so quiet. They're getting good at the game. All right.

I was just still watching friends. Oh, that's good too. Well, they're not laughing during friends, which is good, but also kind of a red flag. Yeah, it's good, too. Well, they're not laughing during friends, which is good, but also kind of a red flag. Yeah, it's not putting. But you see that they are like holding in their laughter because they want that golden fiddle so badly. Yeah, that makes sense.

All right, so let's get in our boat. Okay, yeah, you all hop in the speed boat. And let's see. We take a little short rest. I got fucked up in that fight. Oh, absolutely, yeah. Great. Yeah, I got absolutely wrecked.

Okay. All right, well short rest, it will watch a quick episode of Friends. You throw on the ones with Phoebe's boyfriend from Minsk. Oh, interesting. Yes. Take that area once. Yeah.

You check those out. they're pretty fun. So you check that out and then you get all rested up and then you board your boat and you head out from the bay. As you drift out from under the thick canopy of trees and vines, you see dark clouds swirling in the sky and a blood-red moon shining down over the bay. The center of which is now pulsing with an angry red light. On the opposite shore, you see

Diny and the Druid circle waving at you. The Druids are looking at the water and sky in shock while Diny, who is standing on Piaittair, the deer centaur's back, holds up a sack of gold and makes a wee good gesture. Further to the side, you see Mishka, leaning against the side of the temple with her arms crossed.

They're all kind of like acknowledging you as you slowly make your way across the bay. Great, let's snap a couple pictures with this blood moon in the background. I don't know about that. Oh, yeah. Wow. I frame Jens out and just get an eye-ack.

What? I do a hang loose sign under the blood moon. He just performed so well for trans-sagraph. You be coming up religious in flirts, huh? Ha, ha, ha. I still love a splinter in my neck. It's huge. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, you see the teens glance up from the friend's episode

and are like, oh, that looks pretty gnarly. Are you sure that's okay? You all just talked. You guys just talked. Yeah, you're out. Oh no! Okay, Kran, Kran's in first. Kran's in first.

Ha ha. You see Dirlin laughs and it's just dang it. Yeah. Yeah, you're not smart, Darlin. Cran gives a little knowing smile. Yeah, continues watching the episode. A new putter long in your boat across the bay. However, as you approach the center, once again, color drains from the world and you hear the now all too familiar warbling static noise in Gulf your ears

This time though it seems crisper and more dialed in than before Hello, please proceed no further Yeah, that's not gonna work for us. We've got the guy waving at us with cash right are you Are you listening? God our technology's just listening to us all the time Please wait a normal amount of time while I continue to talk. Why are you our boss all the sudden? I don't Everything will be explained if you will just wait patiently and silently like the screen teens are doing they're playing a game You have to get yeah, what's the prize?

Gamify it for us gamify you the surprise Unfortunately, this is the opposite of a game You hear that strange monotone voice echoing again, but this time it's not in your head. It's directly above you. You look up just in time to see the world's lack of color get sucked into a singular place like an ink spill in reverse. The static noise hisses louder and louder as the colorless void warps and shifts until it takes a fall. Hovering above you over the lake is a 9-foot tall humanoid.

Its face is a simple gray oval with a small mouth slot and eyes, and it is clad in a suit that is black on one side and white on the other. I call it. As you look at it, it's simple mouth shifts into a slight smile, and you see cold static burning behind its eyes. As of this moment, you are under arrest. I am an adjustment agent from the non-conforming encounter regulation force, or nerf for short. My name is Evan. It is absolutely fine to meet your acquaintance. It's fine to meet you too. I your suit is okay. Well, can I, uh, it's been fun, baby seating, but go.

And can I just push the green tins out of the boat? Cause I don't want them getting arrested here. Cran, you get the, you get the gold. The fiddle, I throw the fiddle into the water. them getting arrested. Yeah, yeah. Here, Cran, you get the, you get the gold needle, fiddle. I throw the fiddle into the water. There you go. Okay, everyone. Good job.

Yeah, you got your swimming badges. No, you can't get arrested with us. Are you chickened to kick him out of the boat and let him swim? Yeah, I did. I need to know some, right? Do you know how to swim? I look for swimming patches on them. Yeah, you do see three swimming patches.

Then they're good. Okay, we're getting arrested. It's run. You guys are gonna be slow. We need to split up, okay? Okay, I understand. Thank you so much, Scout Masters. We'll use this golden fiddle at your funeral.

We love you. I love you, too. Good luck out there. I don't know what the heck's going on. Yeah, make sure Polora speaks to my funeral. Thank you. Can't do. We'll put in a good word.

Okay, yeah, we'll swim to the shore and get some help. Maybe Drew to the Denys can figure out what's going on. Okay. This will help us. We spent 500 grand at their store. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? And if I die, make sure it's like televised in some way.

Make up whatever lies you need to say. And if I die, make sure it's like televised in some way. Make up whatever lies you need to say. And if I die, don't tell anyone, and you can collect my pension. That's so sweet of you, Ana. You have a pension? No, just, yeah. Did you not get one from Levin? This is the only thing that's ever touched,

James, is the idea that, Onyx would fake her own death to let someone steal government money on her bath. Loopholes like that make the lore smile. I'll do it, ma'am. Okay, maybe I like the lore too. Nick, brins up. You see the green teens all do a like very practice donkey paddle towards the shore

as the blood moon is above the watch out for the sharks because yeah the trident is attracting the sea. No getting caught in the gulp. Yeah, you get a patch for a donkey paddle. I'm gonna be so mad if you guys don't make it back because we've got you so far. Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke with your bloke, bloke, bloke, bloke bloke Struck stroke stroke with your bloke bloke bloke bloke bloke Crazy guys some buying songs and swimming you have to control it but I have to keep going You see that ebbin this entity floating above you kind of like slowly turns its head and like watches the green teens get to shore and then

Slowly turns it back to you Okay, as I was saying, I am an adjustment agent for the NERF, and we received a complaint about powerful intruders. Thank you. From the Guardian Spirit of Monson, by the name of thistle. As he says thistle, you see this small ghostly woman. The woman you saw earlier floating over the bay appears by a side. She flashes you this really smug smile.

She flashes us. Woo! Yeah, she flashes you with her ghastly tits. Exactly what happens. There are children swimming nearby. I don't care anymore. You guys have made a mockery of my bay, and I am going to have my justice. I mean, you made more of a mockery of it just now, the week, the entire time we've been here.

It's drafty. So you're just a blue hawk. You're a ghost, man. I was just wearing a batthro yeah, I guess. Blue, you're a ghost, man. I was just wearing a bathrobe when I died. That makes sense. The barbarians, they came into my hut and they stabbed me so they could take control of the village. And I was wearing a bathrobe, nothing else.

And that's all you get to wear when you die is whatever you were wearing when you died. Well, if you have problems with the barbarians, we took care of them. So maybe we took your vengeance. Yeah, maybe you should be under arrest. Yeah. That's not how it works, friends. She made several complaints before about the barbarians invading her town. But unfortunately, their presence, while troubling, did not disturb the balance of this plane. However, her most recent complaint that someone was, and I quote, feeding her tried and blood and praying to it. Reast a few eyebrows at headquarters.

Okay, sorry, I was a little bit weird. Also, red ledges, and when you are going to persecute our religions, try to. If everyone's allowed to lodge a complaint, and I'd like to lodge, when they haven't been feeding their triedent anything, it's been sitting at the bottom of the lake, starving. How are you idiots? I'm starving!

To try and eat the dead fish, it recycles all of the energy in there. It was a perfect contained system and then you started giving it... You admit that it likes blood. Barbarian blood! You started giving it the blood of the wicked! The dead fish is like... The dead fish is like scorpions. Yeah, it does like scorpions now because you gave it a mind of its own.

But the dead fish are also corpses. Yeah, but they're just fish. Don't you understand? It's an ecosystem. And, Evan, where do I lodge my complaint? I also have a complaint to lodge. If everyone can just lodge complaints and you arrest them, then I'd like to lodge a complaint.

I am going to lodge a complaint to you. After Jan's, I'm going to lodge a complaint. Yeah, I'd like to logic complain. I am going to logic complain to, after Jans, I'm going to log. Yeah, I'd like to logic complain. I, this whole trident thing, it's getting to be too much. I'd like to announce my religion. I'm cool with just, just no one looking at my sword. Okay. Nia, what was your complaint?

Yes, it is nerve protocol that all complaints should be heard. So please, get them out before I deal justice to you. Okay, this, this lady's crazy. This, yeah, that's my complaint. She doesn't even know us. She doesn't know us at all. She doesn't even know us and she called in a complaint on her own swamp B&B. She's saying this is her swamp business.

She could have talked to us. We were at the B&B, just call. She's almost certainly crazy, but that is besides the points. You see, at the NERF, we have run countless calculations to determine the number and level of powered individuals that can exist per realm. If a certain plane exceeds that number, it relates to a power imbalance that could cause massive catastrophes to unfold. When we saw you defeat the reanimated corpse of Shadow Fang, we knew that intervention

was necessary, and that is where I come in. Simply put, you are too powerful to be here and I must remove you from the realm to maintain its equilibrium. Okay, if you are removing us, where are you taking us to? And why not remove them? I don't understand why we are the ones that have to get out of here. This is actually a really good idea. Have you considered removing everyone else? Leave us. By the way, remove everyone else? Leave us. By the way, over across the Bay, we're revered. Jony got us a gift.

Okay, so let's put it up to a vote. Not to mention we own deep property. Which property owners. We can establish residency. And we own a lot of candles. This is. We have a lot of candles. Look, we spent nearly a million dollars at local businesses.

What has this ghost done recently? I'm missing. Guys, guys. We have bumped money in, do you see this? Look, guys, I look at- It's got to be- At the end of the day, the only balance I care about is our JetBlue points balance. We'll just take our candles and you get-

You book us a JetBlue flight home early and we'll get out of here. Because honestly- I think JetBlue. We'll take our candles and all of the furniture in the mayor's house and we'll be on our way and the stained glass windows will say good stained glass window from the swampy and be there and yes we'll be earning a commission off the swampy and be but we won't be here that money will just hit our account okay okay let's do this again everything you are saying is doing very little to persuade me that you have not damaged the balance in this world.

You have wrecked the equilibrium in several ways. You see, on the plane of Mechanis, there is a sacred equation that must be maintained. Mechanis. A certain amount of individuals who are powerful and who are not. They must exist in harmony, and you have, for lack of a better turn, shit the bed of that harmony. Yeah, okay, what time does the blood moon usually rise? It's awful little things. Hi! That is a direct result of you poisoning this trident and transforming it into a cursed object.

Hitchhick, can I actually see the thing about survival? Oh, now you want to see my freaking Bible, huh? Because I'm not that good at our residence, so are you? Do you think that you're getting out of this? Scott free? No, we are tracking you, we are his house. Okay, so give me your funny book. If one of us has to die or be arrested or whatever,

it should be Keachan. Yes, Keachan's the one who betrayed Mechanism. We need a fall guy. He should have known. It is sad to see. One who possesses the divine cogs of mechanics. Turn against the order. You will be punished as well, my friend. Damn, he's got me there. I'll let me see the book.

Yeah, keychain hands you the book. Okay, I'm gonna speed read it. Go ahead and have. I'll just keep logging complaints to you. Yeah yeah log complaints so I can speed read this all I am required to listen to all complaints. Okay, so first things first the candles around here very expensive Okay, I spend way too expensive one million dollars I have knife falls off the boat laughing Do not get it. Yes, okay.

And then the other thing is before there was like a dragon, right? And I'm like, super high level, I'm super strong. And this kid, right? Like, I cast power where it's stunned. And then this kid comes and he attacks it. And he does one little hit only because I stunned it, though. And the kid takes the credit for it. And all of my friends were like all about it

Even though it should have been about me Do you do you see what I'm saying? I'm just saying all of this. Yes, okay, great. I mean I just keep going I'm gonna be honest my brother pushed me off a spider and then I made you fly Onix, why don't you give me a history check? Oh, Alex, why don't you give me a history check? Eight. Can I give you the advantage for my stalling? Yeah, help. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14. 14. Yeah, you flip through the pages and you see that the dogma of Mechanis is to maintain this kind of like sacred order across the universe. So anytime the power of the world is like out of balance, they will like intervene to like maintain kind of this sort of like divine equilibrium as they call it. Is there a divinity in this?

It's kind of like the sacred equation is the divinity. The equation. Yeah. Mechanists is this like playing of like clockwork entities that all like work and harmony together. Here's what I'm looking for. What is the book of revelations in this? Is there like a intense description of an end-of-day scenario? The great leveling?

The great leveling. Yeah. Or as it's known to some, the great D-leveling. The great D-leveling. And what is that? That's where everyone is reduced to the same base state. We're all level 10. Exactly. Okay. So I was gonna try and scare them with that, but I'm actually more scared of that than they are. Okay. Onyx, what's going on?

You look shell shocked. What did you read? I just, it's really dark. Onyx, as you're like perusing this book book of revelation you see that Evan turns to you and says ah the great deal leveling When the powerful shall become weak and the weak shall become powerful how I long for that day But until then I will have to meet out justice on my own terms and that means removing you from this equation Are you reading over my shoulder? Removing you from this equation.

Are you reading over my shoulder? It's so rude. It's so rude. That's right. Yeah, you're the good guy. Yeah, yeah. Come on now. That was pushy. Invasive, really.

I watch everything always at all times. Nice shutters. It's fine. Look, guys, we're all going to be okay. I have a plan. Niac. So I already drank my water walking thing as a kind of a bit before.

I need the other two. Can you hand those to me? Ah, yes, Niaq will discreetly pass the potions to his brother in a glove bag. Okay. Onyx, here's one for you. I down one as a shot and I go, Hope Polora saves you, Niaq.

Um, and I take off running. You see that, Eben is like, are you done registering your complete, hey, get back here. Hey, just take off and try to jump off fans. That was so nice. Did you hear him? He said he hopes Polora saves me. I think he meant to.

As you take off, you see Evan extends his arm in a massive black and white hammer materializes in it. He rears back and starts pursuing you and points at Niaq. You stay right there. Currently you are my favorite. And then he is going to pursue you. I should say there too Everybody roll initiative

17 18 now I got a 21 whoo all right, so Jins you book it towards the shore All right, so Jins, you book it towards the shore. I've just running like a party and the cops showed up and I'm just running out the backyard trying to joke pencil. That's essentially what happens. You would have be using a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, this will call the cops on you. Yeah. Okay, you're doing that. Onyx, you and Nyak are still on the boat. You see like as this being appears, Diny and the Druids and Mishka kind of looked a little freaked out and are just kind of racing to see what happens.

You see they're kind of like hurrying along the green teens pulling them out of the water, trying to get them to safety. But as that's happening, Nyak, you are the first to act. Okay, as a free action, would you let me chug my water breathing potion? I think that's gotta be a bonus action, but yeah I'll let you do it as a bonus action. Okay, I'll do it as a bonus action. Just in case things go south, I'll have to go south.

Great. And I'll test, I'll just test Eenele, I'll fire two shots at him. See what he's working with. All right, great. And I have taken, I've leveled up and taken the sharpshooter feet. So I call minus five to each attack to add 10. So that's a 27 minus five, 22 to hit, and a 31 minus five, 26 to hit. 26,. Yeah, both those hit you see that these two arrows just

Into Evan suit. He kind of like looks down and then looks up at you Why have you done this because you're breaking up our party nerd? When it gets to my turn you'll find out Okay, I look forward to it That's 49 damage from nice to shy. Very nice. Okay, so you truck the potion, you blast two arrows into Eben. You kind of hear the metal underneath this suit, rend a little bit as these arrows go into him.

So yeah, like off to a good start. All right. Cool, that is going to be a legendary action from Eben. Eben is going to use all three of his legendary points to cast attuned equivalents. If the creature is attuned to an item created by Eben, he can steal two hit dice worth of HP from them. Once stolen, the creature's HP is permanently reduced.

You are of course wielding a bow crafted by him as a trap, and he is going to take two hit dyes from you. Hey, this is my cool new bow. How dare you? I knew that you would not be able to resist such a powerful item. It is the plight of the powerful to gain more power. Nia, how could you have fallen for something so stupid, man? I waived my sword around.

I look at Jens' sword. Hey! Cool, so your Max HP is reduced by two hit dice. Do I roll that, or is it just... Yeah, you roll it. OK. Seven. Seven.

Oh, great. Easy. And Jens, that is going to be your turn. Sweet, I'm going to put the brakes on my run Just kidding and then I'm going to run back and start stabbing at him You're wearing metal under that suit. I thought you were just in really good shape I do have apps, but that is by choice I know Sweet I'll take some attacks do I I get disadvantage with my offhand weapon? No, I'll say that your fighting style is too handy.

If you don't get disadvantage. But if you like so funny. Yeah. Sweet, OK. I swing with my precious blade. My precious blade. Don't look at it while I hit you. Don't look at it.

That's a 32 to hit. I rolled a 19. And then second attack is a 22 to hit. And then third attack with my off hand is a 22 to hit. Cool. Evan is going to glint his eyes in your direction as you are performing these attacks. And you feel this like weird sort of like as you are performing these attacks, and you feel this weird sort of like equilibrium overcome you, and he's going to turn that 21 into a flat tin. Shit. Was that a spell or just an ability?

It's an ability. Okay, fuck me. Stop looking at my sword. Just one of the tens, okay, so then I'll do, so you just subtract one of the hits. Got it, okay. I'll do a defensive he just like subtracts one of the hits. Got it, okay. I'll do a defensive flourish. Actually, I think I can only do,

I can only do one flourish per turn. So I'm just gonna do regular attack with my fancy new sword that we all love very much. Then we can't look at. For 14 damage, okay. And then I'm gonna use the Rebecca N' Void, my off hand to do a divine flourish. I'll do a level four to do 5.8.

33 damage. Nice. And then I will be using the infinite cheeks of destiny to do a performance check to CP. What are you doing advantage? What it does? Because of the boots. Oh, I do get advantage because of the boots.

Ha! Again, I did not fall for any of your tricks. Those boots look normal on you. Yes, they look better than normal. With advantage, oh, I still have insane performance. 23. 23. Which means automatically cast auto, irresistible dance, creature old, with advantage on the save, probably has Legendary Resistances, but they do, but also they're immune to being charmed. There you go. So you start doing a little jig to try and get them

to do it along with you, and they're just like, wow, what you're doing is normal. Yep. It would be irregular for me to join in. Stop looking at my sword. Great, Jins, is that your turn? Yeah. Great.

Yeah. You see that you have just slashed into him. You've ruined his beautiful black and white suit. God, I wanted to steal that. Let's see. Evan is out of legendary actions. Yes. Already used his reaction for this round.

So yeah, Onyx, that is you. OK. Onyx had a plan to deescalate, which involved using the shift weave and the bookshed just right to make it look like we were in the same uniform and pretend to be penetration testers that were infiltrating to find weak spots. Oh, shit. But it seems so, the fight is on. So I'm just going to attack him.

You sure it's not too late to try that? We can give it a shot. Jump the fence on a spell. Bill! I was going to cast Glippness, so I couldn't roll below 15 on deception. But I think we're past that. So I'm going to go ahead and just attack him. Great.

Boné section, exploit GURS, and take do attacks. Okay. Both of those are going to be 27. 27, those both hit. Okay, I'm going to do two eldritch mites. Okay. 96 damage. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh the word. I think God you didn't try diplomacy. Yeah.

Honestly, you see like a shower of sparks coming out for one of his joints. He just looks at you and says, You are further proving why he did you not deserve to exist on this plane. I know I was going to try to play you, but this is our fate. Let's dance. Indeed, it is not a dance. It is a battle and I will destroy you. I do auto's irresistible dance.

Yes, I learned it at this point. This is not. It's normal for you. Yes. I didn't know a dance could be catchy like a dude. It's the balance between resistible and irresistible where you just kind of want to do it. OK, so Onyx, I do think that Ebbin is going to go after you.

Ebbin is going to use an ability called Fair Fight, and he's going to impose disadvantage on himself to try and do more damage. Okay. Okay, here we go. First attack. Shout out to the two crew. Does a 15 hit you, I don't believe so.

No. Okay, second attack. Oh, that's a nat 20, but then he does not get that, but that is going to be a 28 to hit. Okay. Okay, hold on, hold on. If it's target cursed by your Hexblade curse, hits you with an attack.

You can use your reaction to roll a D6 on a four or higher the attack misses you regardless of the roll. Whoa. I'm finally using this. Roll it, roll it. Five, baby. Yeah!

Yeah! Stop! Jump the fence, Omic! Beef guy beside you, think we might be better at showing testers. You seem like prepared to slam this massive hammer down on you. And yeah, this pastel, like, crystalline shield appears and blocks it. And he says, you further approving your point,

ha ha! Ha ha! Eventually, I said, if unlikely heroes will arise, to solve the problems of this plane, but you are not them. Are you positive? Yeah, because we are likely heroes.

Yes, thank you. I really wish you were all more normal. I'm over offense. Fuck, yeah, he just does no damage to you, incredible. So that is Ebens turn. Now, it's going to bring us to a new contender. From the edge of the bay, you hear the proud galloping of hoof prints as bow jangles and obsidian return from their adventure

gem screams obsidian you come to save us you see they are both covered in treasure and obsidian's horn has a enormous golden sword mounted on it. Man, that's so cool with a Mystler. I guess he already is. I look only out of city and sword. Wait, don't look at my sword, but do. And you see that they're going to head towards where the green teens are, and they're going to pick them up and carry them away to safety.

Okay. I guess in the end we can just have you. The kind of swim to safety. Yeah, I guess in the end we can just have you. The kind of swim to safety. Get the candles. Yeah, there's a lot of important stuff to save. Yes, you can. But also the candles. There's also some fine rugs and the mayor's mansion, right?

Right. You can preserve. Denny's waving that bag of money around. Feel free to grab that. I see. I see Mishka. Usher's Obsidian and the green teens into the Hunger Trout tavern. And then she locked herself inside there with the kids.

And then Obsidian comes back outside ready to act again. All right. Cool. Okay, so you've done nothing, Obsidian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you've done nothing obsidian. Obsidian, it's good to hear your terrible voice.

Onyx, if you would like to give obsidian a command, you can do that instead. Kiss mommy. Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama. I've never seen them do this. I've never seen them do this. I've had Jens vomit. It all stays on top of the water because the water walking potion is just slipping in vomit on top of the water like ice. Whoa!

No part of you can go underwater. Just slamming on it hard like it's either. And that brings us to Keychain. Keychain is on the boat with you. He says, okay, I'm having some second thoughts about the religion of Mechanus. What should I do? Do some money. I'm sorry, there were still some teeth in there. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,

mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,

mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, You see, Keychain is going to fire some mouth bolts at this enormous robotic entity. To hit, let's see. Ooh, that's gonna hit. That's gonna miss. 10 damage from Keychain. Okay, yeah.

Yeah. You see, basically, I avoid eye contact. Yeah, Jens looks on... Disappointedly. Nice, Keychain. A little tube comes out of Keychain's mouth, and he fires some teeth at Evan. Okay, actually, I like that. Why?

And that brings us to the end of the order. You see that sparks are kind of flying off Evan already. And he kind of bristles a little bit Re-adjust kind of straightens his suit You actually see that it kind of like reworks itself It like mins itself on the fly and the threads reconnect and it looks like good as new He's still damaged but is suit is fine and then he like looks at you and says, huh? The talent rating of this battle seems unbalanced. Please allow me to rectify

You see Evan points a finger at Diny waving the bag of gold on the shore and invokes him in cold gray static Suddenly Diny's figure grows in size and from this electric cocoon you see a muscular and Jellic six foot tall scout master, Dini burst out. Oh no. Hey, gang! Where's the cash? Sorry.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Sorry, but I've decided to give that 500,000 gold to the NERF as a non-taxable donation. Uh-huh. Also, I'm going to smite your ass as dead. That money was for candles You see Denny touch his two fingers on his sword coats it with holy light and then he's going to fly over to where you are And he's going to attack Jens great all right first attack

Does the 19 hit I would but I'm gonna cash shield okay Does the 19 hit? I would, but I'm gonna cast shield. Okay. Cool. Yeah, 19 misses and a 13 misses. You see, Diny gets over, takes a couple slashes at you, but he's weighed down by the huge bag of gold on his belt. That's ours.

That's our candle money. That's candle money. The candle money's still here. Candle cash. Caring is synced to the candle money still here. Candle cash. Cattle cash. Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash,

Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash,

Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash,

Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, Cattle cash, and pray to pour for guidance. And as he brings his prayer hands to his chest, he will use his new level 16 champion ability. I've reached Gugod, and I will be casting maximum jellocity, which is an ability where I expand all the rest of my jam points to cast haste on up to three targets. Whoa! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Pallor bless everyone Don't bring Pallor into this yeah deny it now

So yeah, that's haste on on X-Gens and let's say keychain Wait not on yourself, okay, I do it on myself for sure Yeah, I've never said this to you before, but be selfish for once in your life. Wow. And that guy did steal my bow that I found that was his bow. Yes, this is self-care, everyone. We're all doing self-care. Niaq's wellness needs to go above all others for once. Yes, I think I've realized something today.

Rather than trying to worship a higher power, we should be worshiping ourselves. Maybe we can become the Trident ourselves. Yes, the Trident was in us all along. I'm still down here though, if anyone wants me. So do I get to use haste on this turn, like would I get another action? No, I think that doing haste is the action, if I got it. I'm pretty good.

But you have one extra action that can be used only to take the attack action, but only one weapon attack, dash, disengage, hide, or use an object. So could I attack this turn? I think just one weapon attack. Yeah, okay, yeah. Great. He has my bow, right?

No, he just like used his connection to your bow because it was like covered in like the cursed static energy. He like used that to like sap power from you. Okay. All right, and then with my one action, I'll attack him again with the arrow, and I'll do minus five to add 10 again as well.

Okay, great. That is a 32 to hit. Wow! Even with minus five. He's gonna use his reaction to make that a 10. Ah, uncool. You need more normalcy. Is he making the roll attend or is he making the total attend?

Just the total. Okay, okay. Let's try to help out Naya. Yeah, it just negates it. It makes it super normal. That felt way too normal. He just looks at you with these cold undead static eyes and says, be more regular, please.

I don't know, it's pretty powerful that you can turn everyone else regular, don't you think? Undead static eyes and says be more regular. Please. I Don't know. It's pretty powerful that you can turn everyone else regular Don't you think you should be? Yeah, that's over. That's OP No power. It's not OP when I do it because I'm doing it in the pursuit of equilibrium OP. No, we should call you open silence. There you go. Okay open. Go ahead Okay, I know I'm supposed to remain impartial, but I freaking hate that name That name sucks. It's bad. Yeah, what name don't you like open your name? It's not even clever Kind of

Nice naak you power everyone up with this haste spell Everyone is coded in the holy goo of pelore. Oh, you're welcome. You see from like- We are God gunk. Gunk, God. From the heavens you see pelore is beautiful white mullet flickering in the wind. Looks down on you and says, Hey man, leave me out of this. Wow, he talked to me. Holy shit. I just don't know if I want to be a part of this, really.

Nah, it gives him a thumbs up. Wait, we're not allowed in the club. Then now we walk to go. If you're not allowed to stand out the stars, Polar, please. Why can't you see me? I dropped my knees If he could pray

Brother, he acknowledges us and rejects you. I'm gonna file another complaint, Evan You gotta get rid of these guys. His name's open That's not funny Yeah, you're like a kind of right. It's definitely not that funny. I mean it is underpowered Oh, not funny. It's you know, it's definitely not that funny. I mean, it is underpowered, oh, not funny, it do. You know what, it's regular. It's, yeah, it's right. It's what I deserve. He deserves a mid, he deserves a mid joke.

Open, because you are a mid joke open. I can't argue with that. So I won't, I will kill you. Okay, so that is going to bring us two gins great Take two swings with my precious sword and one swing with my crappy sword that I hate now for some reason First two attacks. Oh, baby. Yeah, 29 to hit and 31 to hit both hit great, and then offhand Is a 20 to hit so it hit great and then off hand is a 20 to hit 30 20

That just hits great, okay, all right. That's three hits. I'm gonna go ahead and do a defensive flourish to add to One of them and other than that. That's just 3d6. Okay 55 damage. I'm gonna show you something on the sheet here. Yes. Yes! My perfect sword, my perfect beautiful sword. I think the exact amount it was supposed to be because it's beautiful.

He had exactly 55 HP left. You slice into him and as you do, you see this like static dust leaving your sword as it becomes attuned to you curse free and he says no no this is not normal wait as as the curse leaves I go wait this is just a regular ass sword it's actually still pretty good, deeply unbalanced, someone say. I'm sitting and give me that gold one that you had. I carelessly put the new sword into a bag. My God, I wish you were all more normal.

Your whole deal is giving me a stress ulcer and I am a robot. You see that as you slash into Eben, his suit is in tatters. He's sparking everywhere I still floating but kind of in like a jagged way where it almost looks like he's got like glitching up and down through space And he turns to you three and says you cannot win if I go offline my Superiors on my conace will be alerted and additional adjusters will be sent to apprehend you This is fine everything that is happening is happening is fine and normal. I am not worried. I am not worried. I am not worried.

I will. Rest in peace, open. Yeah. Actually, we would like to speak to a manager. So go ahead and send him. As open, explodes, wide open, chunks of this celestial mechanical metal splash into the bay, which seems to make the tried and even angrier because I can't eat it. But as you see the static soul of open leaving his body and returning to the plane of Mechanis,

you do see Diny shrinks back down to normal and falls into the water without his wings. Oh, help me, there's so much mammal on my belt. Can I eldritch blast a water breathing potion into his mouth? Wait, he tried to kill us. Delight. Fine, we'll save him.

We won't murder him. Fine. You prevent Danny from drowning, drag him ashore, and you have defeated Evan, the adjuster. Congratulations. Open the adjuster, right gang? Yeah, that's good. I don't know who came up with it, but it's pretty good.

It's pretty good. So you all regroup on shore. You bring your boat over. The green teens rush out from where they were hiding. You see Obsidian and Bojangles rush over and a nozzly boat. I think we need to get out of here. Yes.

Because they're coming back for us. So someone call Zajet Blue. Yeah, just so you guys know, some guy came down. He was really getting mad at us about like unbalancing stuff. The trident is pissed. We'll just take the candles to go. Yeah, candles to go.

The old lady is a narc, by the way. I don't know if she's been traveling on. She's calling on everyone in the Swampy Beach moat parties, which apparently was not stayed in the in the in the, which Which is so embarrassing. It wasn't in the House rules. It feels like it's bad for the whole economy here because I feel like built on tourism

to a certain extent, tourism and fishing. Because yeah, we just got more $500,000 and we are going to have to take it elsewhere. You don't think we're not going to take the candles? We don't have time, they're coming. Let's see the consequences of her actions. All right, we're on the, we're on the,

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OK. I have jet balloons of phones are coming. OK. OK. You see, Shay is like listening to you. It's you all frantically talk. And she says, OK, I think we can get you, yeah, definitely, 100K worth of candles.

We could maybe whip up some more if you could like try and purge whatever's going on with that trident You've done a lot for this town. You've pumped it full of money You've saved us from the barbarians dragons cobalt and bully wugs We owe you a lot, but like that trident is bad news if there's any way you could like purge whatever's going on with it That would be huge and we'll get right to work on those candles Yeah, we can we'll take the trident off your hands I think we our status let's give this free carry on trident on JetBlue.

We can take it with us. Okay, I chug a lot our breathing potion and say, Jen's, go get it. Excuse you. Just kidding, I racing. Yeah, Onyx, you dive down into the water and you head towards where the Trident is at the base of the Bay You see it like pulsing this like deep blood red color and as you get close to it you hear that song again I've brought the fiddle with me and I play along. Oh wow you play this like I swim around it like a mermaid playing the fiddle with me and I play along.

Oh wow, you play this like- I swim around it like a mermaid playing the fiddle. I'm like harmonizing with it. You sound like an animal collective song, and they actually really like them. Thank you. That's so nice to hear. Yeah, as you get closer, you kind of start to commune with the Trident a little bit. And it kind of takes on a personality that you would find more agreeable.

In this moment, like, you reach out and connect with the Trident. How do you think it sounds? How do you think it acts? I think it has strong, hot bitch energy. Because everyone has been hot pitch energy. Because everyone has been talking about it. Everyone has been trying to court it. Everyone's been starting cults around it. So I'm just like, let your freak flag fly.

Ah. It's like so great to finally meet you. I feasted on the blood of the wicked for like two days now and it's been like so nice. It's- You look good. Thank you. You look great. Look hot.

Thank you. Thank you. Oh my god. I should be thanking you honestly though because like you awoke my true form. Like mother Thistle might have crafted me but but it's you who perfected me. And that's like huge. I woke up in their hot bitch. Yeah, you're hot. You're very wet, but you're hot.

I'm not used to swimming, but I'm a little bloated from the potion. They don't tell you about magical potions, sit so heavy in your stomach. Yeah, but you're really thrashing your calves to stay underwater, so you're gonna burn it off real quick. Also, you're playing a violin, that is fucking crazy, girl. It's a fiddle, I really am sorry to correct you, but it isn't fiddle. No, I'm like so stupid, I'm so fucking stupid,

you're so smart, it's like I'm really glad we're going to know each other. Look at that slight status graph. So, so subtle. Anyway, it was like so fun like feasting on the souls of the wicked with you over the past day or so. I agree. Is it like crazy? Is it like wild? Is it wild for me to ask? Could I like come with you and taste new blood? I will feed you so much good blood. Come with me! Oh my gosh! That would be so lovely.

My name's Tried Dinsho. I dip this hot trident in Kisar. And then rip it out of the ground of the bay, throw her over my shoulder and swim up. Gents is trying to dive dive in to swoop in, but still has the water walking, so just hitting the water so hard, like when people try to jump into ice.

Try pencil diving, brother. Ah! Keep your feet together. I've shattered my ship. OK, try a headlong dive. I'm not going to try anything. Carry me not again. Hit a ball.

Carry me. Onyx, as you go to pull away the trident, you feel your packed weapon start shaking by your side, and you see that the trident glows and your packed weapon glows, and as you pull, you pull out the soul of the trident, And you see that it flies inside your mall, and it reforms into this beautiful crystalline blood red trident. Okay, we are going to brunch and blood is on the menu. Oh, Alex, you are bad. I'll go to brunch too.

Who's he? My sword sword is cool, right? Shut up dude Damn it It's hot and he's me, but he's not cursed anymore god What's wrong with your boots the two tall. Oh my god. You have no style. You're so crass Two tall. Oh my god, you have no style. You're so crass. Why are you dressed like Jack Sparrow? Oh my god. Why would I not be dressed like Jack Sparrow? Nayak, are you hearing this? What if my bow sound like Nayak talks to his bow? What's up? But your bow sounds exactly like Obsidian strangely. Awesome.

Nayak, did you cry? Let's you and I both sit in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. You purge the trident of its evil and claim it for your own. You can now add plus one, plus one to whatever your packed weapon ability score is. And yours does retain a bit of cursed energy. Here's how this works. On an at 20, the target takes an extra 3D6 in a product damage. If it's not a construct or an undead, you gain temporary hit points equal to the damage dealt. But on an at 1, Tradincha must feed and you take 3D6 Necrotic Damage. Whoa. I'm a handful. I'm sorry.

You are so messy. I love you. I'm also a handful. I'm supposed to be the Rachel of this crew. I'm trying to get into total Rachel. You're a handful of grapes, dude. You're not any of the friends characters, okay? You're one of the guys that like Chandler and Ross fight outside the Central perk. You're not any of the friends characters, okay? You're one of the guys that, like,

Chandler and Ross fight outside the Central Park. You're not an important character. I don't care about that joy, like, how much are motherhood. Oh my God, man. Jens, what's your sword saying? Nothing, nothing, nothing good. So you see that your jet blue flight lands in a big field, directly outside of Moonstone. The flight attendants are like waving you down with those little

like orange cone thingies. And before you can go you see Denny says, wait, wait! So, oh yes you almost forgot to give us all the cash. I can't believe that. Yeah, so I wanted to give you again, here's your 500,000. Thanks again for getting me out of that real bind. Great. But okay, yeah, that was a deal. I also wanted to invite you to stick around for the Jamborene, which is going to be happening tonight. It's a little celebration for, you know, rescuing the teens and me getting into business school, because my record is clean again. Oh, we're good.

We're absolutely not going to do that. It sounds honestly terrible. A party with Irland, Durland and Cran? Yeah. We're okay. I think that's a hard pass. Yeah. We're going to, yeah, strongly RSVP know.

Why don't you give them this? And I hand him the golden fiddle? Stopping wet. I think I ruined it and I can't find a trash. You see it somehow so rusted already. But the green teens don't care. They all like gather around it and somehow all three them play the fiddle at once. Jesus Christ. Dirlin is holding it. Erlin is using his fingers to control the notes and crayon is strumming.

It's actually less impressive because one person playing the fiddle, that's hard. Dirlin, you're just holding it. Kalu-Kalai, it's time for the Chamberlain to begin. Okay, we start walking away briskly. Have a fun one. Have a fun everyone. As you go to leave, Diny stops you one more time and says, there's one last thing. An E-fishes out three SW swamp B&B real estate management patches.

And it fixes them to each of you. You've earned it. And if you need someone to manage your properties on this plane, look no further than DINI PEPPLE POTS. OK. That's actually really interesting. Is this patch? Is this a deed for a piece of land or a property or anything?

Deeply legally binding, sir. Caluca! That's Caluca. Caluca. Caluca. Caluca. Caluca. Caluca.

Caluca for all of us. As a non-resident, I don't think I'll be paying property taxes, but God, this is really interesting to have this. Thank you. I'm going to keep briskly walking away from Danny and towards the jet blue. You all head towards the jet blue. Everyone waves at you but also kind of let's lose a big sigh I've relieved. Mishka gives you some fish oil margaritas for the road and you board the jet blue flight. As we are getting on I hold up the dragon egg and I say, infants ride for free, right?

You say this to the flight attendant and they're like, yes, whatever, please, can we just go? Yes, we should be upgraded to extra leg room because we are traveling with a fragile leg. I turn to Obsidian and I say, you're the best mother I've ever known. What you've done with Nubbin before we lost her. Uh.

What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to go off to go to other stuff. To academia, other... ...mooticorn. Ha ha ha. Is some of Zimbo's impressive maternal energy I've ever seen. Maha. Will you raise this shadow dragon? Maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha maha I'm gonna keep it on my seat, not even in the bar bag. And I try to get my seat changed. Excuse me, there's a problem in my row. As the airplane takes off, you see Obsidian nestle down

with his egg, it cracks and a small dragon whirmling, erupts forth and starts terrorizing everyone on the aircraft. Whoa! Hey! Hi! Don't believe that we did an houses on our bag. Could we get the dragon to sit down, please? The dragon screeches, you all scream.

The jet blue flight casts a plane shift spell and you blast off back to your home plane of Trinaville. And as you go, you could swear you hear a slight static following directly behind you. And that's where we'll end our series! We did it, we did it. Yonkel's coming for our magic items and levels. Yeah! Woo! Yeah! We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it.

We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it.

We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it.. Oh yeah, the Blood Moon stays, you see. Yeah, it's a break over. We just turned the world of a boombie into Bloodborne. Yeah, so thanks again for playing this three-part miniseries and just irreparably breaking, but also kind of fixing

a moonstone in Bohemia. You really changed some things up. Yeah, I would say 99% worse way. I mean, we pumped a ton of money and spent 500 grand on it. I'm candle. You gave the green teens a golden fiddle. Yeah.

So that was good. This is a life we saved Mishka by. Oh, wow. Yeah, you're right. By killing all our barriens. True, you've changed fate. Mishka's alive, Shea is super rich, and the green teens are gonna start a band.

Wow. It actually seems like a ultimate. All pretty good. Well, yeah, thank you all so, so much for listening to this fun little departure. I think we'll be back with a D&D court next week. This has been such a pleasure. If you would like to follow us on social media

that we may or may not use, I am at CalD, Murphy's at CH Murf, Emily is at EA, Axford, Jake is at Jake Herwitz, and before we say what you can tweet about, does anyone have anything they want to plug? Good. The Patreon first. Yeah, to show the short rest. Patreon.com slash snap, that's NADD,

DPD, don't sing yet. I won't. Right. And I believe we've already had our Australia shows, but check, so let's just plug. Let's just plug having a good time. Actually, I love it. No way, we might still be about to perform. Yeah, we're in Australia right now.

We should be in, if everything goes as planned, we will be in Brisbane when this episode comes out. Yes, so go to nadpod.com slash live, grab some last minute tickets if you can we're gonna be in Brisbane Sydney Melvin Adelaide and Perth so be on the lookout Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and some of those shows are sold out so sorry about that And then we're also love to plug some Pio box if that's cool. Of course. Go off, dude. Thank you.

I think you know what I feel like I learned it. You did. I agree. You did it. Thanks, guys. Awesome. And S and S are one million dollars. Just kidding.

They sent us a collection of cozy fantasy stories. Their story. Yeah, it's a collection of like, you know, nice soft cozy stories about fantasy stories. Their story, yeah, it's like a collection of like, you know, nice soft, cozy stories about fantasy worlds. There is about a nomish rogue that started out as a character in their D&D game. Yeah, thanks so much for sharing, Austin. Letterman Arts and us pipe cleaner figurines of the band of boobs.

They're too cute to clean a pipe with ever, I promise. We just do that because my pipe is so dirty. So your pipe is nasty. You're always puffin'. You can milk through it. Emily's always lighting up during recordings. Room stinks. Flora aka Flora the Faye on Insta sent us some handmade wooden crit misornoments.

Oh. Yeah, and some earrings for Emily. Oh yes, thank you. Which I guess you could also put on the tree. A tree can wear earrings. Whoa. And some earrings for Emily. Oh, yes. Thank you. Which I guess you could also put on the tree. A tree can wear earrings. Whoa. I never thought of that.

Yes. Change my Christmas tree. Yeah. And the future. What else are ornaments, but tree earrings? We're tree earrings. You can buy ornaments year round. Just go to Clairs.

Elaine W. Send us a signed print of the cover for Animorfs number 32, the separation, which is of course the cover where Rachel turns into a starfish. Oh yeah, aka the best cover they've ever had. What's even better is it's signed by the artist, David Mattingley. And yes, we will be rolling to see who gets to keep it in their house. And just remember that we read Animorfs that one. And we can see that.

Yeah, and you guys are upset that I spoiled something. I guess if you were gonna keep up with it. I remember, I've never forget that. Yeah. Name three of the main kids. Rachel, no. J-no, wrong. J-no, he got wrong.

What, what was the name J-do? One of them was named Jake. Craig, Rachel and Troy. Troy is incorrect. Devin. No. Trevor. Nope. Tom.

I'm sure someone at the school. Tom is his brother. Not one of the main kids. Yeah. Okay. Greatest. No. Oh, Cletus is the other one.

Nope. Tobias, Marco, Cassie, Rachel and Jake. Incredible. I am so proud of that. Yeah. You know what? For that, you get the poster. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you all so much for sending us stuff. 1920 Hill or Savonoon number 222, Los Files, California, 900-027. Well, that's going to do it for us. Again, if you would like to tweet about the show that's hashtag NADPOD that's in a DDPOD. Here we go. We are the nation. We are the nation.

We are the nation. We are the nation! It's the end of the show everybody and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elder starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. QC later McSkater. Matt M. Jordan DJ. Cudder W. Feared AI. Daniel G. Happy Anniversary NAD pod from the sword wielding wizard. Thank you. Dungeon Mama. parentheses not sexual. Daniel the Dasterdly Dame. Beardman Dan. Danny P. Vincent W. Victor T. A. K. A. Boundor's Boy, Hoyd's Friend, Justin I, Ragnar Faredwend, TJM, Dre Le The Cray, Christopher B, Daniel R, Jordan L, cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Caldwell is pulling a FF7 remake with the 5 year anniversary crossover, Princess YR, Michael L, Jack L, Sam L, Nicholas

C, has started every single film ever made in Bohemia currently starring in the pop-hop biopic Possum Passion, Samuel B, Mike H, Matthew E, Great Value Gemma, Adam G, Tyler F, Nibbadger, Panama James, Andrew the Druid, Harodrian, Roxaneal the White, Captain Sijal, Diana D.L., C.C. Lulu, Hercule Poirot, the Rapid Folk Detective, Timmy R., Lucas B., RICO, It's Kevin,

called her's calculated, cunning, climactic, clever crescendo, Ultras, hashtag can't come cold, Taylor B., the vengeful one-winged angel, Cascade board, CASS, Captain of the Stevens, Steven C, Mike K, Lady Taco, Brian G, Joy T, Nora, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, Esme Marlatt, Hopson, Son of Hop, Foster the boneless duck, William W, R and the asshole Ranger, Big Bad Beard on the Mad, Riot, Ryan, Hungry, Dave's Frisbee, Golfbud,

Anana Rama, Zachary A, Percival, Fredric Stein, Von Musil, Klazowski, De Rollo III, Power Shiver of Bohumia, Quiver against the River of the P-Shiver, can't wait to see you all in Adelaide, even Jake. Thank you for coming out to Adelaide, J. Dragonborn, Vincent O. Godam, Thrumming D, The Sandrayan, Ben A, Feldonis, John III, Dave H, Koala Bear, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, Dustin S, Conor F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfars Assistant, Izzy F, Brittany A, The Purple S B, and Bohumia, Summer Rose, Grant Air, Markey Mark, The Marvelous Mining Engineer, Kat C, Kelslay, Misa of House in Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid, Selina N, aka Vla C Raptor, Bperky Always, Pat L, Sevexel, Octootha A, Lauren H, Talia, Ryan S. The Bone Duster. Robit CRSP.

Ball Business Illustrator. Asking for a request. I'm gonna say the triplets in Birdmasks walking towards the Trident. Ploups. Carly A. Lobster. Addy K. Spam Gaming. The Not-So-Skilled Gamer. Conor S. Russell H. Christopher J. Pebblepot.

To the Do-Riders, my first. Nevermind, we died. Pebblepot, to the do-writers my first, never mind we died, I'm a total now, Celil, Jack M, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Sullivan H, Trub Hop Dropper, Sydney T, Jack H, Crabster Champion of Crod, Scuttling Sideways towards tomorrow,

Fanderay, Garble the Moist, Lindsay W, Juicy Kiwi, working all day and night to restock Shanky candles, Valon, Carlin C, Emily S, Harry Cox, no other bagel of all things, everything biggo, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey, Dandy, Eric B, Marcos P, Jordan P, the occasional crit reporter, Corkt hopes you're having an amazing, maze-like corn day. Learns the balance through it. Dayton M, Dakota JP, free to M,

Pagos, Betrothed, self-proclaimed, Faye Prince, Tracy P, the Crick-Ell, F. Librarian, Andy E, Holly Hyena, Kristen Z, Leah C, Page H, Helen of Brizz, maybe Pixel Stars, Akash T, Christian with a K, Cal, Just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison N, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time, monster hunter Nios, the restless spirit of Simon asking Juicy Kiwi to be his squire for hire

and inspire a fire of fire to inquire why he expired, Keychains, Pentium II processor, Laura Lye the Succubus and Kyra her busty queen, Michael the Ezri pop idol, Morgan M, Steven E, your friendly neighborhood yont and young girl Andrew and Sid, John Adams yes like the president, Meg the male carrier of Bohumia, James F, M4L, Wayfarer now trapped in the Feywild after not fully reading the terms and conditions of their legal settlement with mothership, Andrew B, Sir Smut, Barpo Goodbarrel,

Barbarian and Brewer Emeritus of Waterdeep, Mary Beth C, Melora DeVote, Three Awakened Gooses, Welsh Lander, Garrett G, One Big Curd, Mr. D, Dena D, Sean J, Ethan B, Renee the Monster Captain, Hop the Dancing Rabbit, Hopes Dagger the only Dagger of Hope, Olivia the Enchanting Bard who will totally be making money and a grand novel off of the Duck Team Tales, Winter Slade, Michaela R, Forest H,, aka Life is like a box of Martha Togold sticky buns, Riley S, FICO, Angry Wheat, Yiboi Anthony who moved positions and can't listen to podcasts

that work anymore, Josh H, Jack the Jack's chinks and rogue on the run with Bohumia's balls, the true neutral BBEG who is saving the material playing from Nupocalypse, Trog Door the Burninator, Clementine T, Kalebl. This message has been brought to you by Ferries in support of Hashtag CCC, Happy Birthday Pixie. Ponderful the Pink Dragon, Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian with a bad back, MJ the BFG drinking T by the sea, Dogs of Babble, Calvia Silver Fang, Geno T, Mama Bell, the Silver Serpent herself,

Fenir, Straumann, 18 wheels of Rubber and Steel, Dr. Toulcus, Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats, Wiki Wiki Remix Cats and Boots and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats. Derek D, Tristan G, Cal the rabbit runt. Jasmine and fam. The surgeons behind Bendergreens. Juicy new ass. Alpha fortress. Alex K. Joshua P.S. Martin T. Alexander. Mandy K. M.S. Red the reforged warforged. James. Mr. Kraft. Hammy Beverly's distant cousin. Daniel A.L., and finally, Blue Drew. That's all for this week. Thank you all so much to all of our benevolent

Council of Elders, all of our patrons and all of our listeners. We'll be back next week. In the meantime, you can listen to us over on our Patreon for a bonus episode. Until then, we'll see you next time. for a bonus episode, until then, we'll see you next time.