Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Bahumia Mini-Arc - Ep.01: The Triplets Take Moonstone

Episode Date: February 10, 2023

Welcome back to Trinyvale! And also... Bahumia?? To celebrate the 5th Anniversary of NaddPod, Dungeon Uncle Caldwell has unleashed the severely-overpowered Trinyvale Triplets on the Bullywugs... and Barbarians of Moonstone Bay! What could go wrong? Onyx dons a cute disguise, Jens pulls aggro and Nyack finds a cool whistle as the Crossover Chaos begins!GET YOUR SOL BUFO PLUSHIE HERE! - https://www.makeship.com/products/sol-bufo-plush---CREDITSEditing and Production by Trevor Lyons (@LyonatLarge)Mixing and Sound Design - Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG)Trinyvale Intro and Outro by Emily AxfordLogo Design by Chelsea LeCompteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:32 Hey, hold on. And also, Bohumia! What's that? Bohumia! Bohumia. That's right. It's a freaking crossover.
Starting point is 00:01:43 That's right folks. We have a crossover for you in honor of the fifth anniversary of our podcast. Murf has graciously given me his notes for the start of the Bohumia campaign and allowed me to run it with our level 15 characters. Oh my god. Only you, Carl Willer, enough of a mad man to dream this up. I just lay myself on the altar, prostrate myself fully and say,
Starting point is 00:02:07 Womp me my children, Womp me until there's nothing left to Womp. Next down village is going to bed. Call the well certified madman. So yes, we have some level 15 characters in this level two in capture setting from the world of Trinaville and we are going to be playing a little miniseries that I like to call the triplets Take Moonstone.
Starting point is 00:02:34 But before this self-imposed wamping begins, how about we introduce ourselves? Folks I am your dungeon uncle, aka donkel, called well Tanner and I am so happy to be joined by Emily Axford. Great, are we introducing our characters as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. What is this your first episode? Is this really his episode? Why not?
Starting point is 00:02:55 Activated. I don't know how to play D&D the whole time. In another five years, we'll get it. Okay, okay, Maryhanka, okay, okay. That's what I think of, that's what I think. A peek behind the screen. That is how the sausages made folks. Pestelga warlock onyx lumiar. Ooh, nice.
Starting point is 00:03:17 We've also got Brian Murphy, celebrating five years of two crew on a flight from JetBlue. It's J Slandau. Beautiful, really setting the scene. And last but not least, Jay Kerwitz. Hard one, not so surefoot. Actually, it's Nayak of the Rana4. There he is. Our beautiful shirtless boy himself.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Now, folks, as we get into this, we've introduced our characters, but I need to introduce a concept here. This series begins with a series of hypothetical questions. What if Beverly's parents got worried and didn't allow him to go to the jamboree? Oh my goodness. What if Moonshine decided to spread her spores elsewhere? And most importantly, what if hard one didn't break up with his high school girlfriend?
Starting point is 00:04:03 And instead, say it an iron deep? Sounds like a nice life honestly. Yeah, pretty good. Happy ending for everyone. Oh, well, you're essentially saving Gemma's life Yes, thank you. You're welcome. Please do at me I will accept all accolades Wow, this is canon, right? Now here's the thing if that were to happen what heroes would rise to fill the void left by their absence and restore balance to this broken world? We will probably never know that answer, but what we do know is that Jin's Onyx and Nyak, affectionately known as the Trinaville triplets, have just landed in the realm of Bohumia for a relaxing vacation in the quaint fishing village of Moonstone.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Now as the crickets chirp and the moon shines brightly, a massive portal appears in the sky and from it a magical jet blue flight capable of interplanar travel streaks through the night sky. It really hovers like a helicopter, then descends outside of a simple tavern and ejects its ramp. And for folks that might be less familiar with Trinaville, as you step off of this airplane, why don't you all describe your characters. We'll start in the same order with Emily.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Okay. Anax Lumiere is a pastel, goth, warlock from the moon. She has a moonicorn and she's probably not complaining yet because she's probably not finished watching her movie. So she's gonna stick it out and keep watching the movie until flight attendant chases her off. What movie are you watching?
Starting point is 00:05:40 What are you watching so intently? I mean, probably death on the Nile. People are watching that on planes all the time lately. So Alex is probably actually watching it on someone else's seat and Gens is sitting there watching this movie still has his noise cancelling headphones on is ignoring all flight attendance Is wrapped up in a jet blue blanket. And it's just sitting there waiting for the movie to be done. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Nayaika, you also runnin' out the movie? Yeah, Nayaika is a champion ranger, kind of like a cross between Tarzan and Joe Dirt. Mm-hmm. Perfect. And Nayaika is actually gathering all of his brothers' karyons because we traveled with four bags that were all belonging to Jens and I'm now trying to convince a flight Attended to let us deploy the giant slide
Starting point is 00:06:35 Playing because that's our preferred method. Niantic. Did you secure the slide? I'm working on it brother. I had to I gave checked all of my bags So I'm just I simply won't stare Okay, yeah, we're not gonna stare. I'm sorry. it, brother. I had to, I gate checked all of my bags, so I'm just, I simply won't stare. Okay, yeah, we're not gonna stare. I'm sorry, we're not staring. As you try to convince this flight attendant, once you give me a persuasion check, you got it.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Nayaca's a minus one to charisma. I hate. I don't give him the alphabet. I also don't help. I keep watching the movie. Nayaca actually rolled an 18, which was 17. Woo! I simply must insist to deploy this slide.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Just tell him we'll open the emergency door. What are they gonna do? We're already here. Oh yeah, all right, so Nyak actually abandoned the persuasion check. My brother's right, so Naya actually abandons the persuasion check. My brother's right out of my way. Careful, Gal Gadot hasn't died yet. Explorers! You see from the pilot's section, your robotic friend Keychain pokes his head over and says,
Starting point is 00:07:43 hey, spoilers. Hey, Jane, is the premise of some movies? I am also watching the movie. We just started. We started the movie five minutes before landing. Can I rip out the little TV, the plane TV, and like fuse it to Keychain? I can keep watching.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Like you can't win a TV in the car. Yes, wow. He's finally useful. Yeah, we should probably meet the owner of the swamp B&B that we got here. I am so excited. We are doing a swampy M.B. It's about time.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Now we have a TV for the swamp B&B. Oh, that is so good, because we were like, oh, let's do something rustic, but immediately I was really happy. I was like, let's keep the plane. I had that thought too. Can someone fetch me a series of mirrors so I can also watch the movie?
Starting point is 00:08:31 Mm. I look through Jens' shit. There's so many mirrors in there. Yes, I need this for the front of my face. I need this to like a barber, check the back of my hair. I need this as sort of my makeup compact thing. Nope, I'm sorry, QJ. Nah, he's nodding along.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Yeah, we haven't got a mirror to spare. They're all spoken for you. Well, Onyx already spoiled the freaking movie, so what do you care? It's kind of like the inciting incident. Right, and I told you, I just started it right before we landed. I understand.
Starting point is 00:09:02 So as you're all arguing about whether or not QJ gets a mirror, you see the flight attendant says, if I extend the slide, you get off the airplane, we need to park this somewhere else. This is causing so many violations. And also, I just looked out the window and I saw like a lot of like really tough looking guys with ponytails and I'm kind of worried
Starting point is 00:09:20 about the safety of the crew. So if you don't mind, we're gonna pick up the plane and move it elsewhere for the time being. Just let us know when you're ready to depart, okay? Okay, come down. Yes, this movie's over, we're ready to go. We said, we've been in the world. Well, it's the energy.
Starting point is 00:09:33 We got it. We got it. We're bringing Endevact 1. We'll start watching it on Keychain. Yeah. Yeah, once we get to a good moment. So just another like 25 minutes. Okay, all right, we'll make all the preparation. I don't believe I got my second drink
Starting point is 00:09:48 To true More drinks after we land, but you know, whatever you want just please, please, please leave as soon as possible All right, all right, we wait for 25 minutes until a Lullaby Death on the Nile and so one of Kenneth Brown was modeled off. Why do you know so much about this movie? I know nothing, I know nothing. You watch it on a plane.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Yeah, we wait till the least hyped part. As you are watching this movie, you look out the window and you do see the various flight crew unloading all of your mini, mini bags from underneath the airplane. And you kinda see a couple of like, these tough looking barbarian types. They're bald, but they have like a ponytail on the back of their head, just grinning and kind of laughing.
Starting point is 00:10:36 You see them kinda like playing keepaway with some of your bags, hustling the attendance a little bit. Niaq dives out the window. That's my brother's glove bag. Big Oaf. I'm just going to be wrestling the attendance a little bit. Niaq dives wrong with that? Ha ha! I like you, I like you a style. Thanks. You know what? How about we all go inside and you buy me a drink? Um... Hmm...
Starting point is 00:11:13 That's interesting. I yearn for acceptance. And yet I hate taking orders. Ha ha! Fuck me. Um... Yeah, buy around! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Yeah, no that seems Yeah, no, that seems fun.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Let's meet the locals. We all buy around, of course. They get the next one. That's fun, okay. Yeah. Oh, this is probably like a staged thing, right? This is like a flash mob, I guess they aren't it. Oh my God, this is a flash mob.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Yeah, absolutely. Just want to say we love flash mobs, but please just try not to handle the bags unless your jet blue certified. Truly what the fuck are you talking about? You know, we're from different worlds. I like what you were saying about buying everyone around. Let's get to that.
Starting point is 00:12:02 All right, why not? So you see these barbarians. One is a little bigger than the others. It's wearing kind of like a poultern, a little spike on it. And then, you know, two smaller barbarians. Still massive though. They all kind of chuckle and lead the way back into the bar. And as you enter the bar, let me describe the scene. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:20 You enter the bar to the sound of an old bar playing a John Tituent on the fiddle. There's a fireplace on the far right side of the room and lanterns with candles filling the tabern. Closest to you is a group of three fishermen sitting at a table drinking ale and sharing a quiet conversation. They all kind of like sink in their chairs a little bit as you approach these barbarians. I didn't write. I look first, I'm words of plug in my phone and put on a playlist.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah, I'd like to drink in the sounds of the fiddle for a moment. And then I yell out, can we put on something else? Do you know when he's sugar ray? Is there sugar ray would be great? That is a good call. Any mark my graph. Are you going to go approach the bard? Yeah, we'll go to the bard.
Starting point is 00:13:08 I love musicians. So are you in a band? Oh, it's just me, basically. I just play the fiddle here and hope not to get beat up. Where have you played? Are you a touring artist? Well, I used to travel around a lot more. I've actually been quite all over this land of Bohumia
Starting point is 00:13:26 I was once a resident bard in in the great city of Gladeholm Gosh those were the days, but then I made my way to Moonstone and well I've been here ever since I sense like you must be rich Well Rich in the knowledge and appreciation of music one might say, but as far as coin goes, not so much unless you're feeling generous. It's all relative. What's your net worth and we can decide if you're rich?
Starting point is 00:13:52 He points to a little hat with coins in it. It says, oh, about that, I guess. Okay, well that might be enough for a round. Yeah. Oh, perfect. We got it. This guy. Yeah, oh We got it I've got a the entertainment I feel like I should get daddy and sugar ray Spoil everything I take his ass might bring it to the bartender I get distracted watching
Starting point is 00:14:21 Can you tell me what's happening? Why did you put it on the back of my head? Alex, why did you start it over? He gets I can't get enough of getting it right now. I wanted to watch the mustache origin again. Okay. You got brand-up brain. So you see the three barbarians that were hassling the jet blue crew outside, shout out to the jet blue crew, go back over to their seats, there's one more barbarian over
Starting point is 00:14:53 there, and they kind of give you a nod like, all right, let's get those drinks. Okay, I need to talk to you, Niaq and Jan. Okay. I think we are getting used. Used? Is it possible? Do you think that we're cool enough to get used? Do you think that we might... You want to be used? Well, see, the cool sort of popular people around here are mean to you. And what happens is you just sort of take it for a while and then you get to join the cool crew. That's how it was in high school. Okay, as long as this is all part of your plan. When we walked in with those guys,
Starting point is 00:15:28 everyone was kind of afraid. And we're with those guys. Okay. That's pretty cool. That's sad as yeah. Okay, you're right, I should date one. Ah! Ah! Could I get my hat back?
Starting point is 00:15:40 I'm trying to save up for pants. Yes, of course. We'll give it back to you right after pants. Yes, of course. We'll give it back to you right after we buy the Strangive drinks. All right, yeah, we're gonna waltz up to the bar. Great, so you waltz up to the bar. You see that there's nobody at the bar save for this single 20-something halfling. He's wearing brown leather armor and just kind of nervously sipping his drink. He's kind of glancing all around.
Starting point is 00:16:06 He's got like a guilty look on his face a little bit. Um, getting Airbnb vibes from him, right? Yeah, he actually looks rich. Do you, excuse me, sir? Oh, hello there. Hi, yes. Do you own the swamp, B&B? Because we're supposed to meet you to get our key. Oh, I don't exactly know what a swamp B and B is.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Okay, is it a jamberine thing? Because if it's a jamberine thing, I know a lot about that. Okay, one star for the check-in process, so that's gonna be 20% back right away. That's tough. We'll knock off the cleaning fee right off the bat. If it's lodging you want,
Starting point is 00:16:41 you might wanna talk to the bartender there. You kind of gestures at this half-orc woman. She's like very strong and sturdy. Kind of looks at you and grunts. And you notice that she's got this big scar streaked along one side of her body. It starts on her face and then continues down onto like her shoulder. She's got like one milky white eye. And she kind of says, yeah, if you want to stay here tonight, it'll be one gold piece
Starting point is 00:17:06 Jesus Christ. That's cheap. That's really cheap. So why can we get six rooms? Yeah, we're just She's are you selling? You selling the place? Is that is true? You're judging one gold. You can do is we could do a swampy and be I don't know if we do... Can we do the whole thing entirely to ourselves for one night, swampy and beast-time? Yeah, can we run that in the past? Do you mind if we swampy and beast- Is this the swamp B&B? Is that what you're saying?
Starting point is 00:17:35 Because you don't want to do a B&B in the actual swamp. That thing is crawling with bully wugs. Is that what we rented? Oh, do you think they double booked our swamp B&B? How many rooms do you have free tonight? I don't know. There's like two rooms up there. This guy staying in one, she points to Denny. Hi! There's supposed to be some green teens, but uh... Actually come to think of it. Where did those green teens go? You were with them before, weren't you? You see that the Halfling man with the armor and the
Starting point is 00:18:03 drink just kind of nervously sips it and looks away and says yeah, I don't matter. No, probably just you know Build the fire somewhere. Okay, Danny Can I go up to him and say what do we need to do to get you to Vacate your room so we can have the whole place to ourselves Because we're apparently we're out right now Yeah, double booked our swampy and beat with bullywos. Do you have like a receipt for this swamp being beat? I'm very confused.
Starting point is 00:18:32 We have this business. Niant, we have emails, right? Yeah, there's a paper trail. I booked it. Did you? It was booking.com or Travago. It was Travago. You're not doing to a third party. Not because you're nervously looking at his phone.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Not yet. Now we're gonna have to go to the third party to complain and we can't just complain to the swan B&B. That was nervously looking at deals for so long that he never actually booked the place. My God. All right, yes, we're desperately needing, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:02 This is actually perfect because you know what? You guys look like you're on the level. You look like you're pretty tough, honestly. I think you can help me out here. I'm gonna be straight with you. I lost the teens, okay. Amazing. The green teens that we're here for the jamberine,
Starting point is 00:19:16 we're gonna have a big festival and everything. Okay, I lost them. I'm sorry, just walk it back. What is a green teen? A green teen? Yeah. What is a green team? A green team? Yeah. What's a festival? I'll also, what is it, too? You don't have to answer that.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Okay, right, yeah, let me back up. Green teams, it's a good junior, palleted organization. We teach the kids about baller, nature, and also how to infuse swords with holy energy. And anyway, this weekend was supposed to be like a big retreat for them. They were gonna play games, sing songs,
Starting point is 00:19:46 we're gonna do a tour of the Moonstone Bay so they could see the Trident that's down there. There's a magic Trident down there to track the fish. Jesus Christ, this is so boring. We don't care, man. We don't wanna go to a freaking Boy Scout party here, no? Well, so actually, I think the way it was gonna work is like we were all gonna stay in one
Starting point is 00:20:06 room, there's some like bunks in there, and I think the barbarians have the other room book, so it's basically just the two rooms up there, the barbarians have one, I've got one, but here's the thing, I would happily give you my room if you could get these green teens back because I took them out on the boat, shea the druid over in the druid circle said not to, but I did it anyway. I sure as heck did it anyway. Okay, well, some bully wants to the kids. The bully hooks got the green teens.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Okay, they've been abducted. You know, you know what, I thought bravely, I sure did ask anyone, ask anyone that was there. There isn't a single scuff on your armor. Your sword looks like it hasn't been withdrawn. Can I ask the bartender? Excuse me, Miss. Did he fight bravely? I wasn't there, but almost certainly not. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I admire your self-preservation. Okay, this is the way I am seeing it. It's like, subbarbarians at one room. Okay. This guy, as in us a room, we want the whole thing. Correct. I only rent entire place. We went entire place. Okay. This guy as an as a room. We want the whole thing. I only rent entire place. We went entire place. That's what that was my search prefer. I'm not going to. Yes. You can't if you one more time say
Starting point is 00:21:14 that you're going through a third party. I'm going to take the the glove bag away from you. Okay. You know what that would be like Nyak? That be like if I had someone else hold the bags for you for me Does that make sense? It's just like one of those captain obvious commercials Like the hotel, okay Sorry, we don't so I have an idea Clearly we have do problems here. What is the teenagers? Okay? The other is a barbarians all right, so why don't we just go?
Starting point is 00:21:43 Why don't I just test out the waters and just try to hit one and see if they are as strong as they look What is that help the green team situation? We have to Dead rip problem should we just ask if they'll give us the room? Oh, that's a really I really don't hate on it's just punching someone I've always wanted to get into a bar fight in a foreign land. That's that's cool with me What do we what do we think is that would be so rustic if we got a day of our fight it would be pretty rusty
Starting point is 00:22:19 I walk over to them and I say This guy and I pointed Jen's wanted to fight you, but I'm going to pull him in. He asked you to fake it, you're right. What? What? Niantk not knowing what she said just gives a thumbs up and nod. And then I get distracted by them on the aisle again. I just turned to the bartender, so scared.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Can we get six margaritas? What is that? What is a margarita? Okay, God, it's like tequila. You do like coin tro. Maybe we do a little salt on the rim. We don't even need the coin tro. Just whatever kind of liquor you have. We have ale, we have grog, we have fish.
Starting point is 00:23:08 We'll take some fish grog margaritas. I'm good, I'm good and possibly. Yeah, the bartender whose name is Mishka. Thanks for a second, grunts then goes over, pulls out some cups, pour some grog into it, squeezes a little like fish oil on top, stirs it around, and then slams it in front of you. Just take it and don't cause any more trouble.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Naya grabs it and runs it over to a barbarian, trips and throws it in someone's face. Oh! Are you throwing it in a barbarian's face or are you doing this accidentally? A barbarian. You see, as you're coming over with all these drinks, the barbarians are like, Oh, finally, I was about to get a little impatient! Oh! Oh, it was in there! It stinks my eyes! Oh, get up, boys up this part of Rita sir
Starting point is 00:24:08 This is disgusting. We just wanted ale clearly. We wanted ale you said you wanted a drink Okay, and a fish margarita is a drink you are so fucking pedantic Whoa whoa whoa, let's secure the B&B Let's kill him! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's secure the B&B! Whoa, whoa, whoa! You see, Diny looks equally freaked out as Nyaak. Everybody roll initiative.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Yes. 21. Nyaak got a 10, just 12. All right, 10 for Nyaak. 12 for Jens. Excellent. Oh, I got a roll for Q chain as well. So, Nyaak, you spilled this drink. Oh, I got a roll for keychain as well So
Starting point is 00:24:45 Nyak you spilled this drink. Oh, it was an accident Nyak you spilled this drink in the headbarbarians face you wipes it off looks furious His nostrils flare and he just shouts get him but onyx You were already over there. you were making plans of your own. I see Zahead Barbarian and I'm like, I had to choose one to date, it will be you and then I attack him. Confusing. Oh, first I do my Hexblade curse on him. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Does an 18 hit. Yes. He't 18 hit. Yes. Okay. He is shirtless. So I am going to do a fifth level smite. You see the shirtless barbarian looks at niaconsist. We could have been pals. Look, you're shirtless, I'm shirtless.
Starting point is 00:25:39 This could have really worked. You just yelled get them at me. You spilled a drink on me and This is not even a apologize. You touched our bags. You started this. What's even in those bags? They're so heavy and there's so many of them. Gloves and mirrors you ask.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Okay, how much damage on it? 55 damage. We're doing cleave rules, right? And I pick up my mall to do a second attack. Is he okay? I suppose I do owe you an apology after all. Oh, I'm next. You've seen this barbarian.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Like, picks up his mace, spins it around, kind of grins a little bit and says, show me what you got. And then you instantly just slash into him with this arcane energy. What happens? I think that as I slash into him, it's so hard that it splits him in half. And then rack focus to death on the Nile.
Starting point is 00:26:44 I'm keychain. And I say, you are in my way. And then, Rack focus to death on the Nile. I'm Keachane, and I say, you are in my way. Holy shit! Is it Keachane turns around? Whoa! Keachane, they're back around! Okay, sorry. Get them burnos, that game.
Starting point is 00:26:58 There's blood everywhere. You've showered the zooplacin guts! Okay, so that was how much damage? 55. 55, I am was how much damage? 55. 55, I am going to see if the cleave applies. Well, I mean, it definitely does, but I'm gonna see how many, how many more you can get. You see it was four barbarians.
Starting point is 00:27:14 It was cropped the lead barbarian, and then like three kind of minions grouped around. You cleave, and then like the excess arcane energy, just kind of blast on either side. He just explodes in the guts. So you're able to take out three barbarians in one go, and then you see like the one remaining barbarian, just like holding a club looking around like,
Starting point is 00:27:37 oh, oh, oh, don't worry everyone, we'll save you. I turned to the bar bravely. Just give us five stars on our swampy and fee review. Yeah, that is true, we need someone to work here. Yeah, because we buy. Do you want a job? You see, it's not his turn, so he's just kind of like petrified, but like clearly isn't going to make any dangerous moves.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Gens better. I use my second attack to curtsy. Go ahead. Gens strides forward, looks at Denny and gives him a thumbs up, covered in blood from Onyx's attack, pulls out his two swords, says, good take three swings on the sky. That's a 19 to hit on the first attack. That's a 24 to hit on the second attack and a 23 to hit on the third attack. Why?
Starting point is 00:28:38 That's six. I'm not important. That's exactly 30, 34 damage. Jins finished this barbeque. Yeah, I bravely stride up. I get up under his ribs into his lungs with one sword and then do it on the other side with the other and then just pull both apart and split them in half.
Starting point is 00:29:03 You see, as he dies, he screams out the window, it says, grish, help! What? And then falls to his death. And there's a moment of silence. Everyone looks shocked. And then you see the bar just start playing on his fiddle. Hey, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, All right, this place isn't so bad. I grind it.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Onyx. Onyx, you're making a scene. We didn't even start, we didn't even start partying yet. You're already grinding. Do you want to sip your drink first? So you see that the initial shock passes, the fisherman, they've seen people get murdered in this town before it's clearly overrun with barbarians. So they kind of just go back to their drinks and mind their own business. They look a little scared of you now as opposed to the barbarian. Right. Mishka kind of
Starting point is 00:30:02 just sighs, walks out from behind the bar, grabs a mop, and then she starts kind of like pushing the barbarian through the kitchen. That's awesome. Do you have like a drainage thing back there? I'm just going to chop them up and then like put them in a trash bag and just toss them in the dumpster unless you get a better idea. Okay, that's very little too good at dispensing out of the bag. I love your energy, honestly.
Starting point is 00:30:23 You know what? I kind of love your whole energy too. I was a little iffy at first when you came in here, but y'all are fucking strong, that was great. Oh, thanks, yeah. Really nice to have people like you in town. Honestly, ever since the dragon was defeated, these barbarians have just been pouring in.
Starting point is 00:30:39 They kicked out the town council. Now they've just all camped out at the mayor's lodge, and they basically run the place. Okay, I hear it lodge. Lodge, yeah. The mayor's house, that sounds really nice. If there's a better swampy and bee than you have to tell us.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Yeah, this place only has two rooms. Yeah, I'm the only person that when I look up swampy and bees, I put a minimum price. Like I add, I want it to be expensive. So I don't know what a margarita is. I don't know what a B and B is. Okay, but is a large bigger census. Yeah, much bigger than this. Okay. So just, yeah, say that. Yeah, and there's more to those guys here. There's a lot more there. Yeah. Okay. No, that's fine. These guys were easy. Well, just these were just
Starting point is 00:31:21 kind of like the local drunk barbarians. If they hadn't died, they would probably have gotten in trouble for fucking off and getting drunk during their shift. So you're saying no one is looking for them? They might be looking for them soon. But currently, people aren't really worried about those barbarians. But if they don't come back in a couple of hours, more barbarians are probably going to start looking around.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Is that I would love to drink my fish, crack, marina, and finish this on my dial. Let's have a quick mark and then we'll just go kill everyone in that man. Yeah, yeah, okay. Oh great, does that sound good to everyone? Yeah, it's on me. Margarita's on me again. Yeah, we're still gonna get those green teens though, right?
Starting point is 00:32:00 Okay, but we don't really need it anymore, right? What do you think? Yeah, because we don't need this room. What are you offering us now? Yeah, because we don't really need it anymore, right? What do you think? We don't need this room. What are you offering us now? Yeah, because we don't need this room. Again, we don't need the room. And now we're gonna move into a mansion. So wait.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Hang on, hang on, hang on. I could be potentially in a lot of trouble if something happens to those green teens. Okay, don't care. We can make one phone call. Okay, I'm just gonna make one phone call. Just hang tight. You see this scout leader leader whose name is Diny
Starting point is 00:32:26 pulls out a little speaking stone, speaks into it and says, hey, dad? Yeah, dad, can you move like, how much do you need? God, I'm dead. We need rare relics. I do a, Jen's does a doctor evil impression. One million dollars Like so proud of himself
Starting point is 00:33:00 He can is facing a wall so you can see the TV but he laughs He can't is facing a wall so you can see the TV but he laughs Dad I need you to put one million dollars in my account a minute a little bit of trouble dad, okay? You hear I'm like a halfling man on the other end yelling and he's like yeah, I know we'll talk about it later dad Can you just freaking bail me out, please? Yeah? Yeah, okay? Okay? I love you, bye He hangs up the speaking stone says all right, so if you bail me out please. Yeah? You okay, okay, I love you, bye. He hangs up the speaking stone, he says, all right, so if you help me out, I can hook you up big time.
Starting point is 00:33:31 You know what? My family's kind of a big deal over in Glatoron, all right? Okay, I mean, don't demean us. Actually, I just saw it about it, and I'm starting to think that like, maybe he's green deans need to be saved, and like, maybe we should save them. Yeah, yeah, chase that chase that and then chase that feeling.
Starting point is 00:33:49 I think we'll also yes, but for like supplies and stuff, we'll need a million dollars. Of course, we'll need the money, but it's not about the money. We'll put it on our card so that we get the jet blue miles. Yes, but then we are going to need to be reimbursed and it's we need to recoup the cost. This is an investment for us just like this for you. Could you get us actually? No, we'll get our own carriage again I'll fill out an expensive for it We're gonna get a carriage from here to the mayor's manner
Starting point is 00:34:16 So it's literally just down the street. I don't know if you need a carriage There is a little screen tweens look like again because we'll think we'll go find we're just gonna go straight We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. Yeah, we're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back.
Starting point is 00:34:29 We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back.
Starting point is 00:34:37 We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming back. We're not coming bay. We were looking at the trident.
Starting point is 00:34:45 There's a magical trident down there. And then we just got ambushed by bully wugs and they just dragged him off into that swamp. From the goodness of our heart, we will do this. And we do need a million dollars. We'll basically do a pro bono. It's at cost for us. Right. We're not turning a profit on this. That's the thing is that it's going to cost it because we're going to flip the swamp B and B. Those are operating costs. That's going to be totally understandable.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Totally understandable. All right, so just the 500 grand now, and then we'll go from there. I don't know if the wire's gone through yet. Okay, we'll wait. Why don't we have our greatest? I'm not finished with that on the Nile. We'll have our margaritas.
Starting point is 00:35:25 And we will give you receipts. Don't worry about that. Yeah, you will. You know, I lose a risk right? Yeah, I know. So guess that would be great for you. Yeah, I'm also down to just spend it. I'm trying to get into business school
Starting point is 00:35:35 and like, I can't have this on my record. So any amount that I need to pay, any amount that my dad needs to pay will be worth of rights. What was your name again? My name's Denny. Denny Pepplepot. Denny, thank you so much for coming to us it took great courage what you did thank you i feel very courageous i feel very good about what i've done that's awesome
Starting point is 00:35:56 all right you all sit you see the michael comes the other side of the bar and watches death with the Nile. Shit. This is pretty silly. It's like a really bad film. It's like amazingly bad. You see Keychain rotates his arm all the way back and says, Hello, I am Keychain. Please do me a cheater. A keychain! In the way of getting the right out.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Yes, keep going. Okay, geez, geez. All right. Okay, so yeah, you know that more barbarians might start coming to look for their dead friends and like an hour or two. So you finish up death on the Nile. You toss back some fish or eaters.
Starting point is 00:36:38 We wait for the wire to hit. And we just as soon as the wire hits. I just as soon as the wire hits. We're just waiting for the wire. We're just sitting there looking the wire hits. As soon as the wire hits. We're just waiting for the wire. We're just sitting there looking at our phones. If your dad loves you, I'm sure he did his same day of transfer. You do wait a bit and then you see a very tired looking raven carrying a wire basket. Oh, that's fun.
Starting point is 00:37:00 With 500,000. That's awesome. What are,000. That's great. That's awesome. Ha! Ha! Ha! What are you about? I love you. Ha! Ha! This is a tired bird.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Oh, this is a family bird, Kaka. Ha! Kaka, Kaka, I wish you liked to join us. Ha! Ha! You see that the bird is too tired to respond. It kind of just plops over on the bar and Mishka brings it a little saucer of water. It's kind of like while laying on its side,
Starting point is 00:37:28 licks the saucer. A bed and breathless for caca. Okay, great. Yeah, we'll just, and we'll take half of that and now we'll be back for half of it. Sure thing, do you want me to come with you or just stay here and pretend like nothing happened? You can just stay here and pretend like nothing happened.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yes, sir! All right Gives you a green teen salute. I like that guys vibe. All right. Okay, I'm not I pocket 500,000 gold. Yeah, wow He's on the level. That was cool. Yeah, that was awesome That was really cool. One of my favorite favorite dudes for sure. Yeah cheers He's a real one Yeah, cheers. It's a real one. It's an absolute real one. Hey, Denny, you're all right.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Thanks, dude. This is how I made all friends up until now, so I guess three more of the money way works. All right. Yeah, let's just go walk out and we'll take Denny's carriage up to the mayor's manner. Great. Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe we can kind of get an idea of how many people are in there.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Sure, yeah. Cool, so you're going to leave the tavern? Yeah. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts. So no matter where you fall and the age-old ball up between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs' stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, bird dogs invented a cloud-knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals.
Starting point is 00:39:21 So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. it out of your rivals. for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Great, I meant to do this before, but I never did. I'm going to describe the Moonstone Bay as you walk out. There you go. So you leave the tavern. As you arrived, night was falling, but now it is totally dark. You see that the glowing waters of this enchanted bay have lit up the entire village with this white blue glow. It's kind of like snow reflecting moonlight. It's just it's just like dirt path, leading past the simple stone houses with thatched roofs.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Many of them covered in moss, with purple and yellow and white flowers. And as you take it all in, you feel this fresh scent into your nostrils, and it smells like spring rain, which is surprising because this is a fishing village full of, as you saw inside, gross fish and grog. Oh yeah, is the fish here smell better, I guess? It smells good.
Starting point is 00:40:38 There must be a Yankee Candle around or something. Can I do a perception check for a Yankee Candle? Absolutely. Oh, I love Yankee Candle. That is 14. 14. Yeah, Onyx, like a cartoon character, you like follow the scent of a Yankee Candle. And you see that it is kind of like present all throughout because of like the perfume flowers, but you get a strong hit of it over further down towards this like domed temple structure. You kind of gaze over and you see there's this like temple right next to the bay and then like when you squint further down down the trail you can see this big lodge in the very distance.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Okay, that is where all the Yankee candles are. Okay. Should we detour before? We could make our own candles we have 500 gold everyone We could get every kind of candle even a big one. I say we do it before we kill these Smart because that's a great way to furnish the man because it's gonna smell like shit when it's full of bodies Right, and we're gonna want to like the candles right away All right, so let's go ahead and, God, I've never gone into a Yankee candle with $500,000.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Normally, I'm like, I don't wanna get a big candle because it's $25. I'm always buying them on lay-o-way. Yes, I buy the Christmas ones when it's spring. Wow, let's go buy them out. Let's buy a seasonal one, right? Yeah, let's just buy a winter one. We can't afford it.
Starting point is 00:42:02 Okay, let's do it. I'm sterile into the I'm thrilled into this. With our heads held high for once. For once we don't skulk into a Yankee candle. It's like the pretty woman scene with Julia Roberts going back to the draw shop. You all load up into Denny's Amerald Green carriage and the Hors trot trot trot
Starting point is 00:42:25 about three yards over to the temple. I love slow living. You only get this from trouble. You only, I'm gonna get swamp living as one of those like live laugh love poses. You park the carriage outside of this temple. And as you get near it, you see that it's got this like big domed roof
Starting point is 00:42:44 that's actually got like a hole in the top. On the outside, you see this crest of this spiral wave pattern that seems to be related to one of the local deities. And you see that the door is slightly ajar and you're welcome to enter. Oh, it's open. We don't have to break to enter. It's ajar.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Yeah, it's ajar. We waltz right in. Hello. You guys are open. Are you open? Are you guys open? You guys are open at night. That's great. You enter and you do see a room packed with candles. There's like bookshelves on all the walls of this kind of like octagonal structure There's like old books that are kind of like mossy and worn. And then like in the gaps in the bookshelf, there are a ton of candles.
Starting point is 00:43:30 You see all these like druid acolytes kind of pouring over them, attending to the candles, lighting them as like night falls. In the center of the room, you see like this big beam of moonlight, hitting a huge bed of flowers. And in the center of this flower bed, you see this kind of ageless, druidic woman meditating. She's got this like silver gray hair
Starting point is 00:43:51 and a pretty fit body, all things considered. Okay, so I start browsing, but my body language says, I'm not the kind of shopper that one's used to talk to them. So I'm just picking up candles looking for prices. Ah, welcome to the Temple of Melora. Thank you so much for admiring our candles. Why are you picking that up?
Starting point is 00:44:14 Oh, we were just wondering how many candles we could buy for $500,000. I'm sorry, how much? $500,000. It's everyone's cool. We have to save some to buy. But we're going to get more. Later, we? $500,000. It's everyone's cool. We have to save some to buy. But we're going to get more. Later, we get $500,000.
Starting point is 00:44:29 And we're done. $500 gold, you said? $500,000. You see that this druid looks to the side and says, Jesus Christ, under her breath. Wow, $500,000. Mateo, Mateo, yes, please help our friends here. They would like to purchase some of our candles,
Starting point is 00:44:49 the candles we are so famous for, yes. Wow. Show us the most expensive ones first, please. Yeah, can we look at your biggest stinkiest? We need one that's stank. You see this beautiful half-elf druid, who's like shirtless and wearing a green cloak walks over, whips the hair out of his face and says,
Starting point is 00:45:10 yeah, you want some of our big stinky boys? Yeah, yeah, we want a filler candle that really a pungent filler candle. All right, all right, yeah. You see that the druidic woman and the man, they kind of like share a wink and they smile. They just started pulling out their basket. They're fucking right.
Starting point is 00:45:28 What was that thing about? Damn, things are getting messy at the Sianky candle. This woman is a classic gal Gadot. I don't know what that means. We're all friends here. I know it's the temple of Melora. We all like worship the indifference of nature, and also we do sell candles. Thank you so much for inquiring about that.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Great. Yeah, how many can I put you down for? Just $500,000. Wow, okay. That's it. Because we have one million dollars. It does. My neck lasts like, it's the first time he heard it
Starting point is 00:46:09 Remember the 90s So these druids they all like they summon the rest of the druids that are like working in this temple They all just grab every candle you see they leave a few they don't give you all the candles They do give you like a basket full of candles and say, yep, here they are. Each of these is blessed with Melora's grant and difference. I have to do an insight check because I shop a lot. Okay. And I need to make sure that is where smart shoppers. I need to be a smart shopper. So I'm going to do a shopping insight check.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Jen is saying that there's a few candles left over and he reassures Mateo and Shay and goes, don't worry, we have 500,000 more coming in soon. I got a 16. 16? You kind of give a penetrating look to Shay. And she's like, all right, you caught me. For such a dignified shopper as yourself, someone so shrewd,
Starting point is 00:47:07 I'm gonna throw in a couple of extra potions for you. How does that sound? No insight needed, I am so. Yeah, wait, man, potions. What's that in a potions, T.F.? Well, let me see, we've got some water walking potions, got about three of those, and then actually three healing potions,
Starting point is 00:47:23 if that interests you. Yeah. Well, T.F. Kombucha. T.F. actually three healing potions, if that interests you. Yeah. Well, do you have kombucha? Do you have kombucha? So much. So much. Would you like to do a few kombuchas? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:31 If I could give you a kombucha, I would love to meet Semazar. She takes you back to a little closet and shows you that weird sponge you don't have. The scoby. Yeah. There it is. I tried to fight it.
Starting point is 00:47:45 We named it Thistle. We named it Thistle after the mother of our village. She's actually the one that put that trident in the bottom of the bay way back in the day. That's so good. Is the trident for sale? Can I take it? It's kind of essential to the bay and the whole bay experience
Starting point is 00:48:01 because it's got a really powerful dominate B-spell put on it and it draws fish in here and that's kind of like we're a fishing village so if you two that is like a sea world thing it is a little bit of a sea world thing yeah I'm so sorry about all the documentaries I can absolutely premise you I won't try to seal that well we hey we're going to be part of this too, because we are getting the swamp B&B. Yeah, I mean, of course.
Starting point is 00:48:34 We actually have some things to do. We have to secure our lodgings for the night. So we'll just take the candles. Yes, we're moving into the mayors. I think you're kind of looking at the three new mayors. Yeah. Yeah. Are you going to help us with our barbarian problem?
Starting point is 00:48:49 Yeah. Actually, yes, indirectly, but yes. Yes. And are you going to help us deliver all of these candles to our new lodge later? Because a little too many to carry. I agree. As a majest, you've been sent neatly into a basket.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I think you can go further. Yeah, actually. Yeah. Pieter. Pieter. She calls over to this deer centaur in the corner. He like clops over and says, I would be happy to carry them on my antlers
Starting point is 00:49:20 once you kill all the barbarians. OK, cool. That's great. Can we just get a quick receipt? Because technically these are supplies. Yes, yes, of course. This is all very standard. We sell candles.
Starting point is 00:49:32 We sell candles every day. Yes, great. Cool, all right. Well, now that we have the receipt, yeah, let's go. It's all build up. We'll kill the barbarians. We'll like the candles to make our homes smell good.
Starting point is 00:49:44 And then we'll move on. And make our homes smell good. And then we'll move in. And then our rustic swamp retreat will begin. Yes, and then we had to go save the kids. We had to save the kids so that we get the other 500, so we can buy more candles. That's true. Did Danny take those kids under the swamp? I told him not to do that. He did it.
Starting point is 00:50:03 Did the bullywugs take them? Yes. I honestly had tuned out a lot while you were stuck in. Yeah, we tuned out. They're in the woods, I don't, uh, wow. Wow, yeah, they were, this is great. You know what, me and Melora bless you with her indifference. Good luck, Godspeed, on your mission.
Starting point is 00:50:19 We'll be here if you need more candles. We will. We will. We will. We will see. You've got a few in the back. and those must be pretty expensive because we spent 500,000 dollars. Oh, yeah, those are exclusive. Oh, yes. All right single mold single print Appreciate it. Well, we'll be going. Okay. Thank you for the receipt You see they all put their hands behind their backs and I'm like wait for you to leave and as soon as you exit
Starting point is 00:50:43 They had just start cheering while we unwittingly pump a ton of money in the town. Cut to the rise of the cruel cult of Malorra. You did see in the corner a little like easel that said, Shae's Way brand yoga mats. Hello, I'm Jack from Newark. I would love that if I did yoga. All right, let's go on over to the Mayors mansion. All right. Yeah, you proceed on as you gallop along in your little carriage.
Starting point is 00:51:17 It is a halfling sized carriage, so it's not super comfortable. You're kind of hanging out the sides. For you, it's a tight ride. It feels kind of like the Disneyland version of a carriage, but it is a convertible, so you can open the top. Got it. Naya, walk alongside it.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Of course. And I'm going to cast flame arrows on my quiver to light the way and also have those ready to go. OK. So as you walk, you do see some more houses. And you also see a little boat dock. There's a couple of dingy tied up. At the end of the dock, you see this sole barbarian half-orc sitting at the end.
Starting point is 00:51:51 They seem to be meditating, not really paying much attention to you. It actually kind of looks like they're staring at the trident. Okay, right. Okay, look, someone's not paying attention to you. Perfect. Well, might as well start here. I'm going to go ahead and stealth up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:07 We should have a boat. We have a lodge. We should also have a boat. That's important. Okay. I'm embarrassed that we haven't had a boat in time now. You know what? Why don't we do this?
Starting point is 00:52:17 I'll go ahead and cast greater invisibility on myself. Rad. So that's... See, I go and roll that with advantage, I guess. Yes. Okay, so that's... I actually don't have proficiency in stealth But I got an 18 18 One's passive perception was 14. Okay stealth up successfully. You see that he's kind of in like this meditative state The shaman's name is one. Okay. I'll say that you found a roster of all the barbarians in crooks pocket
Starting point is 00:52:43 Okay, great. Yeah, he's just kind of like staring off in this translate state looking at the Trident. What do you want to do? I just try to cut his head off as silently as possible. You see that Keychain puts death on the Nile on mute. You started it again, Keychain. I am a DVD menu. 27 to hit on the first attack. 30 27 hit on the first attack.
Starting point is 00:53:06 30 to hit on the second attack. 25 dead on the third attack. Oh, fucking funny. Those are all above 20 you said. Yeah, great. Even with Luns, furious bark skin, you managed to just slice right into him. Go ahead and do your damage.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Great. And I'll do a Bartik Flourage as well. 32 damage. Jens, you stand behind this druid, who's like staring off into the water, and you hear him go, yes, our plan is coming into fruition. I don't know what you're talking about, dude. Now just cut his head off like there's scissors. What?
Starting point is 00:53:50 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get it, Brad, I'll present Slay on the Bay. Yeah. I just kick his body into the water. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:01 I love just watching this from afar, completely unmuted. Yeah. I golf clap watching this from afar, completely unmoodled. Yeah. I golf clap for Jens. Yeah, we totally golf clap in the back row. Which boat is ours now? I think we can have what everyone's we want. Yeah, why don't you give me a perception check
Starting point is 00:54:16 to see what boat you see. 19. 19? I leave for a yacht, ideally of an oil tycoon. 22, 22. Where'd you get next? I got a seven, but I'm also looking for the Bezos boat. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:54:34 You do see the moonstone bake, equivalent of the Bezos boat, which would of course be, I guess like the mayor speedboat. Whoa. Okay, so the mayor's speedboat. The swampy and bee. Okay. That comes with the swampy and bee.
Starting point is 00:54:50 This swampy and bee is getting even more attractive. Great. So you see the speedboat. It's got like actual little like steam methods attached to it so that it can like really freaking jet across the water. But as you're looking at the boat, you also notice the blood from this barbarian shaman like leaking into the water. And as it does, you see it kind of like starts to like swirl around the trident glow in the center of the lake. And then for just a moment, you see this
Starting point is 00:55:18 like imperceptible flash of color or actually lack of color, you see that suddenly everything turns gray and then everything's back to normal. Huh. Is it like what are filtration? Why don't you give me an insight or a arcana or nature? Ooh, I can do nature. Yeah, no I can't.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I should be able to but I can't. What'd you get? Seven. Nike, what'd you get? Seven. Nine, what'd you get? 16. 16. Nine with a 16, you know, you are an outdoorsy sort and you've been around some magic items in your day.
Starting point is 00:55:55 You're not quite sure, but you do think that maybe this tried and refuels itself by kind of like taking in any possible like sources of energy that it can find within the water so that might just be how it works. That might go just all. This is going to turn the trident into like an evil weapon because it's powered by blood now.
Starting point is 00:56:15 Oh, interesting. That's pretty freaking metal. I want it even more now. Okay. What if we piss in the lake? What if we powered by piss? No one pisses away. No one pisses away.
Starting point is 00:56:24 No one piss. I don't want the only one way to find out. No one piss, no one piss, I don't want the piss stratic. I tickle my ax. Stop. Are you going to piss in the lake? Well, Jen's told me not to. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:56:35 I can't piss unless I'm command. Good boy. All right. Yeah, I'm already halfway walking to the mayor's man. Are we going? Yeah, let's do this. Should we, like, have any sort of subterfuge or pretense? Why don't you give me a perception check as you approach the manner?
Starting point is 00:56:56 Can I do this guys' help to give us cute made outfits? Great. So yeah, you see this like man are kind of like looming at the edge of town. From within you can kind of hear these faint sounds of revelry. You see that the lights are illuminated. It's like basically this and the tavern are the only place where lights are still on. And ahead of you, you see two barbarians like standing guard in front of this sturdy stone gate. They both look a little bummed that they're on guard duty and not living it up inside like the rest of their friends.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Oh, do you guys want to like get dressed up in party and then take the swampy and pee? Do you not like to queue to made outfits like off? No, they're really cute. You're wearing it and now you're talking about changing. Look, we all agree that the... If you don't like it. Why would we take off this awesome made outfit? Nayaq is wearing it and now you're talking about changing look we all agree that though Why would we take off this awesome made-out fit Nayaq is wearing it backwards No, it's great don't cry on it's my god. It's okay on it. We have the plan and we're sticking to it Jens is going to apologize
Starting point is 00:58:04 All right, I'm gonna... I just... I just wanted to do something cute. Okay, no, it's very cute, so we're all gonna keep with the French-made outfits. We all look very sexy, and we walk to the guards. Hello, we are the... ...sexy-made. Did someone order a deep clean?
Starting point is 00:58:25 Everyone give me deception checks. 25. 21. Naya got a six. Can you believe the other two are mates? I think that like two out of three is pretty good. You see these barbarians like look at each other, kind of look at Niaq, then size up the other two of you, look at each other and go, oh yeah. Write this way.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Let's get cleaning shall we? Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. This is gonna be good. Let's get cleaning shall we? Yeah! Yeah! Oh yeah, this is gonna be good! I got some stuff you can clean. Oh you're a very dirty boy. Yeah, why don't we all pitch in and clean together that way?
Starting point is 00:59:16 I was thinking we could start with cleaning your weapons. Oh it's a great idea! Yeah, they're all dirty. Well, with all the murder we've been doing. Yeah, so just give me our weapons. Yeah. Make a persuasion check and take off your shirt. Yeah, give us your sword, man. All right.
Starting point is 00:59:35 Do you guys want a party? Dirty Swanty. We are party, eh. You see, they got a glance back at the lodge because I know that they're supposed to be on duty, but they're like Whatever guess we can get first dibs on they both whip off their like leather armor and hand you their We were gonna party this is a party for you Fucked up, this is that we party
Starting point is 01:00:12 You see one of them's like this is terrible the other ones like I'm gonna into it. Oh Gonna into it though I know I guess go in roll nish. Great That's just an 11 for old gents. Oh 23. It's a 21 for Naya. Okay Um, I guess go and roll in it. Great. That's just an 11 for old Gens. Uh, 23. It's a 21 for Naya. Okay. Um, let me get these real quick.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Okay. Um, so you see that you know how these two naked weaponless barbarians, just bracing for whatever is going to happen. Um, Onyx, you are first. Okay. I'm just going to attack No smite. This is sexy anymore First things first explain cars and then does a 258
Starting point is 01:00:56 25 absolutely hits these naked barbarians Does a 24 it 24 hits. 24 hits, yeah? Okay, so, total. 42 damage. Even without smite. Ha, ha, ha. Onyx, you kill him so hard you hear the horses get disturbed. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Woo, woo, woo, woo.
Starting point is 01:01:23 Yes, fear me. Ha, ha, ha. Well, this place comes with free horses too. That's just, ha, ha. Yes, fear me. Wow, this place comes with free horses too. This is a swampy and bee plus everyone. And I will say that because of all the loud noise inside, nobody inside has heard you yet. You have killed two of these barbarians that were guarding the Stone Gate. You were free to enter the lodge.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Great. Do you guys want to do this sort of like an MMO like I can run in and just pull a bunch out And we just kill them a little bit at a time. So fun. I love that. Yes. Okay. I'll pull right guys you guys wait out here I just gonna run in and attack it's like skeet shooting You just toss them out the window and I could shoot them with my arrow. Oh, that's so good going I could shoot them with my arrow. Oh, that's so good. Go in, toss them out, so we can toss them out. Perfect.
Starting point is 01:02:05 We're gonna go in. I'm just gonna run in the house and attack someone to run away. Okay. Folks, it's silly, I love it. All right, so, Jins, are you just going right in through the front door? I'm just running it through the front.
Starting point is 01:02:23 I'm running in like it's World of Warcraftcraft and I'm just pulling somebody back to my party This is so good because we've been playing so much a world of workcraft so much I have world of workcraft installed on my head. I like to play I Put down my weapon Can you level my all to count for me, please? Okay. So, Jens, you burst open the door. You see kind of like this big open chamber.
Starting point is 01:02:55 There's like a big stairway in the back leading up to like a second story balcony. You see a lot of like rooms. There's kind of like barbarians milling all about. Some of them are drinking. some of them are passed out. And then a few you see around the second story balcony trying to like jump off and like hang onto this like big like amber chandelier. But as soon as you burst in, they all go, what? You see that there's one in the far back by the stairs and this big makeshift throne made of furniture.
Starting point is 01:03:27 He's got like long hair and it's kind of like grinning and sipping this like stolen goblet of wine. And as soon as you enter, he says, well, well, well, who we got here? Just running straight at him. Like, who's my sword out? Gonna just stab him in the face. Stop.
Starting point is 01:03:46 He's like, he's so confident. He's got so much sweater. He's like standing up, so he's like, oh, look, so the entertainment's arrived. You are in a made-up fit. I'm just silent. He's still in a cute made costume. Yeah, I'm still in a cute made costume.
Starting point is 01:04:04 I just sprint together. How are you doing? Stop. I'm talking to you. I'm talking silent. We still in a cute maid costume. Yeah, I'm still in a cute maid costume. I just sprint together. How are you doing? Stop. I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. I'm thrashing in the ball bearing. I'm clom, clom, clom, clom. Right.
Starting point is 01:04:15 You're gonna take opportunity attacks from this swarm of barbarians all around you. Great. So let me go ahead and roll that real quick. So you were going to take, oh, well, they did crit. Great. So let me go and roll that real quick. So you were going to take, um, oh, well, they did crit. Great. So that's fun. Uh, so that's going to be, uh, you take 21 points of damage. Wow. All these barbarians see what you're about to do. Just start running towards you and stab him with dagger. Okay, we're gonna have a bump. So that's, are you guys okay? Have your spells
Starting point is 01:04:44 and stuff ready? What the fuck are you doing? We got a bunch ready Including the main guy hold on me roll initiative. Okay, folks Do you want me to roll do initiative? That's a new 20 no we can keep her old initiative. Okay. I rolled I rolled two net 20s roll initiative that's a new 20 no we can keep her old initiative I rolled I've rolled two net 20s so so yeah I'm finally gonna get you imagine if I died right now it'd be awesome all right it's very funny that I rolled a net 20 but there's still two people up I'm in the order okay so Jen you just pull aggro on all these barbarians they're just like a swarm stabbing into you with these daggers.
Starting point is 01:05:27 Oh shit, they're blocking these guys, they'll be on the second. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm gonna hold my turn Diac your next what are you gonna do I'll hold my action. Yeah, I Got this guys don't worry Yep, and pull All right, so you see that Gresh jumps to his feet now tosses this goblet down Grash jumps to his feet now tosses this goblet down. No! I Wanted that guy. I'm sorry. Was that not hospitable enough for you? No, it wasn't
Starting point is 01:06:10 Listen mate. I'm gonna be drinking from your skull when this is over so I wouldn't be complaining too much You wish my skull would make a great goblet Yeah, he only has a couple bumps Who said that? So he is going to pull out a dagger and he's going to start stabbing it. He's just going to join the stabbing fray at the point. We roll some attacks here. Fuck, that's a third net.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Shit, wow. I can't believe I'm wasting my net, Twinnies, on this stupid encounter. So I was going to die. Okay, so that's in that 20, 16 hit you? No. And then, okay. All right, so only the Nat Twentie hits. So you see like, he like twirls his dagger
Starting point is 01:06:56 around real fancy like and gets a couple stabs in. Ow, that is going to be, let's see here. Watch out, dude, I'm about to roll 2d4 That's gonna be a seven damage my man, okay I do it. How are you looking? I'm okay. I'll be out in a second again. There's a flocking me They're just like me when all the stabbing He stabs into you. You just look at him shark. I it doesn't affect you What the fuck is wrong with you man? He stabs into you. You just look at him shark-eyed. It doesn't affect you at all.
Starting point is 01:07:28 What the fuck is wrong with you, man? We did it. We've done a bunch of stuff before. What does that mean? What do you mean you just stuck? Gone around, we killed a bunch of guys before. There was somebody, there was something with crystals. We spent $500,000 on cans to pay. We spent $500,000 on candles. He's got to be a trick. Keep attacking, mates. He's got to be a trick keep attacking mates he's got to be a trick he's a trickster he's a freaking trickster that's right down the tank keep attacking me
Starting point is 01:07:51 is it just me or is he such a Ross you're being a real galorite man what does this even mean? are you speaking English? I haven't seen friends okay spares them for watching friends. Okay, should I turn on friends? Yes, turn on friends.
Starting point is 01:08:09 So I would have a good one, that's a great pilot. Normally I might tell you to just dive into it a little bit, but man, the sandwich sets it up. Let's start with Rachel just running into the central perk, huh? So the friends theme starts playing. It's all of these barbarians start chasing you, Jens. That is going to be the Swarms turn. Great. Okay, so the barbarians are going to take two attacks real quick on your Jens.
Starting point is 01:08:42 As I'm getting attacked, I'm just explaining friends to them. So I'm kind of the Rachel of the group, whereas Nyax, Nyax, Chandler, and Honnicks. Nature Chandler vibes. Honnicks is kind of also a Rachel, so we've got kind of a two-raachal crew. Well, actually, she could be a Joey as well. Yeah. Keychain is a Gunther.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Wow, Classic Gunther. I can't disagree with who I am. 17 and 15 both miss, I believe, right? Both miss. Great. So you're just beautifully dodging and weaving as you're just like rolling it to talk to your about friends. Great.
Starting point is 01:09:23 Do you want to make sort of like a persuasion check or something to start like drawing them out? No, I'm just going to chain lightning them and run away. Great, cool. All right, fantastic. Cool, I need Dex saves from three of them. Including Garache. That is your move, so Dex saves. They are operating as a swarm.
Starting point is 01:09:38 So I'm going to just do one for all of them. Cool. See, okay, they absolutely fail. Great. Fantastic, the El Garache fail. Great. Fantastic. The Elgresh does. Doesn't 11 pass? No.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Okay, yeah, so they have all grouped up on you. And as you're telling them about the characters from friends, your eyes start glowing, like raiding from Mortal Kombat. Yeah, I just hold up my sword, like I'm stormed from the X-Men. The lightning hits it and just explodes out It does 45 damage to each one Did each one to three of them? Oh my god, and if they're storms, they would be to the storms So you fully kill all the barbarians?
Starting point is 01:10:19 Oh, oh shit. Sorry. Did you guys get experience for that? What the fuck did you do? What is wrong with you? Oh, oh shit, sorry. Did you guys get experience for that? What the fuck did you do? What is wrong with you? Oh, what are you? Holy shit, you're still alive. I run away from Gresh and try to pull him out. Gresh, can you just sign some paperwork? You need to transfer the deed of the man to us. We're gonna be running it as an Airbnb. I've spent too much time in this town. I've worked too hard. I'm not going down like this. Grisha going out without a fight. So no one shall do life is gonna be this way. What does that mean? Grisha's a joke. Your lodge is broke.
Starting point is 01:11:01 Your lodge is broke. And your life is DOA. What you say about my love life? No, your eyes are alive. Just your actual life, man. Devastating. You do see that Grish takes the hit. It's like leather, Paul Dran is singed. His long brown hair is just curling up and frizzy now. He looks like
Starting point is 01:11:27 shit, but he is going to start chasing you, Jens. I run out into the courtyard. Cool, but he can't do that yet because it is Onyx's turn. He's garish all that is left. You see that garish was left, and then there were two barbarians hanging from the antler chandelier that just kind of tried to hide up there. Okay, we can deal with them later. I'm going to go after Gharash. You're great. You have a held action if you want to use that too. Oh, okay. I'm going to exploit Kirst. Okay, great. Does a 20 hit. Absolutely. 19, I finally crits. Nice.
Starting point is 01:12:01 I'm going to exploit Kirst. I fact it, it's too fun. I am going to do one smite. What do you mean? What do you mean you create? What does that mean? It means you're a berry. That was the name of Rachel's axe, right? Does anyone remember the dentist? This speaking in tongues. That sounds right. That sounds right. That sounds right to everyone.
Starting point is 01:12:20 Yeah. Yeah, you're a berry, dude. Chrome! Tag her! Get off of that shandleleer and help me! You see, Garesh just pathetically calls through the barbarians on the shandleer, but they just kind of like hide as if they're not there. Stay up there. We need someone to mount our candles. I do a hundred and nine damage. Jesus Christ. Because I hid twice, one was a crit, and I used my smite on the crit.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Can you bat his skull at the other guy who I'm a chandelier? Onyx. And I actually curse on him and life drinker so. You kill him like four times over. What do you do? Please describe this for me. I am trying to feed the Dryden to become more evil, so it is worse if my hands. So I kill him and I toss him into the bay and I see the dragon of Zorupzim. Um, Onyx, as you do this, you do see that garretches body like slowly whirlpools towards
Starting point is 01:13:31 the center, and as you reach the middle, the trident kind of flares purple and then it flickers, and as it flickers, all of the color from the bay drains away and you start to hear this like Warbling staticie noise and then it flickers again and everything's back to normal It's so cursed I love it Yeah, that's a fun thing happens to our boat. Yeah, that's perfectly fine. Keep it on our boat still you and I in the mayor's I remember I had one point had a curse weapon and I kind of miss it Can I just point my arrows at one of the guys on the chandeliers and demand that they give us the keys to the boat? Do you want to just maybe
Starting point is 01:14:21 Get some We're stuck up here actually. Oh, okay, yeah. No, it's gonna be a thing. They're asking for help. Just, okay, okay. I think I'll just holster my bow and arrow and let them hang until they have to fall and die from the fall.
Starting point is 01:14:36 Please, we jumped up here to hide and now we can't get down. I have to go to the bathroom. Okay, no, it's crazy. No, I think I might pee up there, so just, please. There's a ceiling fan up there, and if they start being, it's going to scatter everywhere. Yeah, I really can't help but water. Okay, I'll shoot them twice,
Starting point is 01:14:54 and also with my held action, so that is a 31, 26, a 27 and a 30 to hit. All those arrows are on fire. I don't care for a, Matt. I swear to God if we burn down our swampy me. I'm gonna get to enjoy it. I do believe that when you shoot fire arrows,
Starting point is 01:15:19 it does do fire damage to the area, correct? Wow, let me see. We can hire somebody to fix this up. Well, we only have $500,000 now. Wait, actually, if we have insurance, we can start those business. Oh, that's just thanks to you. The door's on renovation.
Starting point is 01:15:36 Oh, sorry. From the ground up. It doesn't look like it says anything about extra damage. OK, great. So yes, you launch these fiery arrows at these two barbarians, we're pleading with you. Their bodies catch on fire and light all the candles at a chandelier.
Starting point is 01:15:53 Oh! Ah! That was great! That is so much more fun than clap on clap off. I do it, yeah, I do it. Go, clap for that. I do it, clap, clap. Was it coolest thing you've ever done?
Starting point is 01:16:03 And you have defeated all of the barbarians in this lodge. You see that the manor is open for you to explore. Shit. We first off, throw the bodies in the water. Yeah, I've defeated my dessert. We must feed the trident. We have to feed the trident. I guess kind of a cult now.
Starting point is 01:16:22 The trident is just pulsing faster and faster. Shit, that thing's cool. The Bay is just kind of flickering between color and this weird kind of staticy gray old. That's awesome. We're again. The noise is getting louder and louder. I hear the louder.
Starting point is 01:16:35 This is awesome. I make a weird mask. I drink and it's a static. I start chanting in tongues. Why not? I mean, these are friends on friends are kind of a cult. Why don't you go and be perception checks as you walk into the manner. 14. 14.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Seven. Seven. Net one. Okay. Onyx with your 14. I guess the Nihac and Jans are too busy putting on their cult face path. Yeah, it's got an eyes wide shut mask on. Onyx with your 14, I guess the Nihagin Jans are too busy putting on their cult face path. It's got an eyes wide shut mask on.
Starting point is 01:17:08 But Onyx your eyes on the prize. You see that all of these rooms are pretty thoroughly trashed, but you do see a room up the stairs that looks like a little more ornate. It's got a little crest above the threshold of the door. Okay. I walk up there. Okay, you send the staircase and you find what is the mayor's chambers?
Starting point is 01:17:30 It seemed like Gresh was using this as his personal war room. On one wall, you see this bed sheet that's been hung with a crude plan drawn on it. The writing seems to indicate that the barbarians themselves were actually planning on stealing the triton. So you're one step ahead of that. I take all of those research.
Starting point is 01:17:49 We're not stealing the trident. We're delivering it to a trident. We're shipping the trident. We're shipping the trident. Yeah. They were, we're protecting the trident. Yes. You see the extent of their plan was how to go that deep in water, and then you see that
Starting point is 01:18:06 lond, the barbarian shaman had added like, use water breathing spell. It's almost like a Google Doc where they're like collaborating on it, and they like came up with a nice solution in plan. So yeah, you've got some notes you can use if you need. Is there water breathing around here? Did they secure a water breathing potion? Yeah, can we run it for potion? Yeah, everybody give me a arrumage check.
Starting point is 01:18:26 It'd be, investigation maybe? It'd be great to be able to go down and say hi to the great Trident. Mm-hmm. Uh, down. Down. Uh, investigation 19 or a perception 22. Okay.
Starting point is 01:18:37 Wow, I got a five. Five, ten on us. Okay. Great, so Jens, you kind of lead the investigation a little bit, and here is what you find. You find a private stash of gold and a little treasure chest. Nice. I'm gonna go ahead and roll for how much you find. You find 34,000 pieces of gold. Jesus Christ. That's only by like three candles. Wow, this is nothing. I'm gonna leave by like three candles. This is nothing.
Starting point is 01:19:02 You find a bunch of fancy clothes. Oh, and then the last thing you find is a horse whistle with the name Bojangles carved into it. May I have that? Yeah, nah, I can't. I was gonna give it to you until you asked for it. May I please have it? I love whistles.
Starting point is 01:19:21 Yeah, I know, but you know the whistle. No, I go to both of his knees. You know, I know you love whistles. Yeah, I know, but you blow the whistle. No, it goes to both of his knees. You blow it. I know you love whistles. Whenever you get them, like you're just kind of a lot with them. Like, I know. I won't blow it. I will blow it once.
Starting point is 01:19:34 We were doing the noise makers, and you were making too much noise. I just want to hold it. And I won't blow it. It's fun for a little bit. Anytime we let you hold the whistle, you blow the whistle. I won't blow it. I won't blow it until you say it's okay. All right the whistle you blow the whistle. I won't blow it, okay? I won't blow until you say it's okay. All right, I give back the whistle.
Starting point is 01:19:47 I blow it quickly just to test it out. Hey, I needed to make sure it could be blown. I got to tackle my hack. Now I can soon as you blow this whistle, you hear a faint galloping outside, and then suddenly through the window is a best second story building, a beautiful painted stallion burst through and lands right in front of you.
Starting point is 01:20:10 Okay, you're gonna get built for that window. Hi, you must be Bojangles. Are you our first customer at this one PMB? Did you make a reservation? A reservation? You see the horse starts eating your ponytail. I let it happen. That seems fine.
Starting point is 01:20:28 This is chill. I can use air. Okay, air dressing. Good horse. Cool. So yeah, Projangles lives at our house now. I mean, can I obviously see Obsidian the Moon and Corn is with me?
Starting point is 01:20:42 Man. God, you've been quiet. Thank God. See, this would happen. You blow the whistle. It gets Obsidian the moon accord is with me. Man. God, you've been quiet. Thank God. See, this would happen. You blow the whistle, it gets Obsidian upset, and Obsidian starts yelling. That gives it one more to stop. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:20:55 Can I see if there's like any friendship chemistry between Zaharis and Obsidian? Obsidian, do you want to make a friend? Why don't you give me a persuasion check? and uh, Obsidian? Obsidian, do you want to make a friend? Ah. Why don't you give me a persuasion check? I'll let you use your stats for Obsidian. Okay. 24.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Yeah, you see Obsidian saunters over to bow jangles. Uh, and bow jangles looks at them, sizes them up a little bit, and then kneels. Ah! Obsidian is inviting you to ride it.
Starting point is 01:21:31 Of course, riding it. Obsidian rides the horse. Ah! Ah! Obsidian melts Bojangles. Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 01:21:41 Ah! You see Bojangles tosses a rain to Obsidian. Obsidian catches it in their mouth. Bojangles tosses a rain to Obsidian. Obsidian catches it in their mouth. Bojangles rears up and then launches back out the window. Whoa! A sink Obsidian has our own adventure there. RAAAAAAA! Jen starts laughing at the image of one horse riding another so hard that he gets self-conscious
Starting point is 01:22:07 that his doctor, evil impressionist, could be his funny animal. Ha ha ha ha ha movie. You're getting the horses eating a little too hard I liked it brother. I thought it was funny All right, we're forgetting what we were here for which is the worship of the Trident To sacrifice things to the Almighty Trident all right We dragged all the bodies in there, but it's hungry for blood Is our scooping blood into cups We dragged all the bodies in there, but it's hungry for blood. It starts scooping blood into cups.
Starting point is 01:22:52 All right, it's right. So we got the sick house, clearly needs to be flipped. We got the candles incoming. Oh yeah, is there a phone that I can call P.A.T.? Oh, I feel like they should have been here, but I just want to check on the status of the candles. Yeah, because they said that take care of the barbarian problem and will bring you your candles.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Yeah, yeah. You don't see a speaking stone or anything. Seems like maybe that's like a pretty ritty device to have. Tristan. These are like cans and string. You look for cans and string, and you do find like a little private ruckery
Starting point is 01:23:25 over in the corner. Oh, shit. Over by like the desk in the mayor's room. Cool. You should be so lazy of us. We've been just walks out. I think let's talk to a bird. I don't feel like walking.
Starting point is 01:23:39 Today's already been a lot. My carriage was small. Tonight's been a lot. Yeah. Are you still upset about the doctor you all say? No, no, it's fine. lot. Yeah. Are you still upset about the Doctor Evil saying? No, no, it's fine. I loved it. I thought it was so funny.
Starting point is 01:23:49 No, you guys don't have to pretend that you liked it. You should really like it. When you say I liked it, but you don't laugh, right? Yeah. Well, it's a comfort to me to hear it. It's familiar. It's just, he says other things. You could do other bits from the movie.
Starting point is 01:24:03 I don't remember it from the film. Okay? Maybe you'd stop showing proof. Millier it's just he says other things you could do other bits remember Okay, maybe you'd stop showing death on the Nile or whatever the hell it is I don't know why we're talking about this movie You see keychain fishes the Austin powers DVD No, no, no, it's too late. Now everyone's gonna know the impression. Do you understand the catch 22 that I'm in? No, Keychain swallows the DVD and you hear Dr. Revell say, how about no, Jin's? Oh, that's good. Oh, that's great.
Starting point is 01:24:31 Hey, hey, Nia, zip it. Nia's not to laugh but cracks up. Okay. All right. I just watched this and you guys are doing polls that I don't remember. So you all practice your Dr. Evelyn Pressions. Start preparing the swamp B&B.
Starting point is 01:24:53 You do see after a moment, Shay and Pieter head over with all of the candles. They kind of look at the damage. Look a little shocked, look a little terrified, but they swallow it down and say, you know, of course, installation of the damage, look a little shot, look a little terrified, but they swallow it down and say, you know, of course, installation of the candles, it's gonna be a little extra. Okay, well, all we have is $30,000.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Do you mean like in energy or in money? I mean, both, preferably. Did you say $34,000 goal? Yeah, well, that's all we have. So that's gonna be enough. And that's all we're gonna pay. That's actually the fee precisely, that is crazy. Wow, that's like, well, now I's gonna be enough. And that's all we're gonna pay. That's actually the fee precisely. That is crazy.
Starting point is 01:25:26 Wow, that's like, well, now after a long period, we won't be able to tip. That works perfect. That's okay. You know what, your tip is your aura, honestly. I wasn't gonna tip anyway. You guys were took a really long time to show up with the candles.
Starting point is 01:25:37 We had to send a goddamn bird. We're starting to try to start a cult over here. Yeah. I do have to say we shouldn't have had to send the bird. Yeah, do you want to feed the trident? I hold up a barbarian body. What exactly do you mean? What are you doing out there?
Starting point is 01:25:54 So the trident is whispering to all of us. No, man. So it puts on a weird bird mask. Yeah. Yeah, Jen still has a weird bird mask on. So you see the trident is hungry for blood. It's like all the lights go out whenever we feed it. Yeah. And we just know that it's kind of all powerful. Yeah, it's sort of whisperers and static to us. That makes us feel compelled to give it more blood. Yeah, that is very interesting.
Starting point is 01:26:25 That has never happened before, ever once. People do tell me I'm kind of one of a kind. Yeah, I get that. She touched your arm. I lean in for a good. It's holy shit. It's something happening. That kind of party.
Starting point is 01:26:42 Listen, Monix, maybe you are the Joey. Listen, if the trident's acting weird, let us know, because mother thist will put that trident down there to instill this village with good fortune. And if something's funky with the trident, we really need to know so we can figure it out. It seems like it's working fine. Yeah, just seeing a blood and it's draining the world of interest color of color and yeah,
Starting point is 01:27:05 it up. Can I ask where is Mother Thistle? Oh, she's, you know, it's late so she's resting. Yeah. But she lives here. Yeah, yeah, she does. Okay, so we can like meet there. Cool, yeah, we'll meet her later.
Starting point is 01:27:19 She's resting. She's resting. Yeah. So, I mean, there are like two other Austin powers from the bunch. Onyx, go ahead and give me an insight check. Eight. You believe, Shay? She tells you this information, but you're too busy just
Starting point is 01:27:40 smelling her. I pull Nyak and Onyxicide and go, are you guys worried that this thistle who carelessly left the great trident at the bottom of the bay is going to want to take the great trident back? Yeah, I am starting to wonder if we are just feeding our trident. Okay, well, Like maybe we should bear a visit. Great. But like not a visit, like we just did right now. Right, not that kind of visit,
Starting point is 01:28:12 unless it comes to that. We can be wearing the guid-made outfits. Okay, I turned to Shay in a bird mask. We love to meet this thistle. You're not feeding the tried on purpose because I really don't think that mother thistle would like that. Well, it's not her tried anymore.
Starting point is 01:28:33 She left it at the bottom of the water, getting she was right. She left it for everyone, it's kind of the thing. Everyone's greeting us. The great try is for everyone. And it hungers. Do you understand? Yeah, do you understand the burden of being in service
Starting point is 01:28:46 to everyone, but having no one in service to you? My neck, cax. And I will get her with dead eyes behind the birth mask. And I have to step slasily in front of the door. We're tried in hungers. I just feel like you're kind of perverting her vision for the bay. Right.
Starting point is 01:29:03 And this is the conversation we get up with her if you just give me her fucking out there. Don't you think that Trident knows what's best to accept? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do you want to join try that side or do you fight it? She says um listen. I promise I will take you to mother thistle, but again she's resting and you know those green teens they're in imminent danger the teens you you gotta go rest We are supposed to get five hundred thousand more dollars for candles. That's right And we're hard at work making more candles and when mother this one is rested She will definitely meet with you and explain why what you're doing to the Trident is very wrong
Starting point is 01:29:49 Okay, we don't need to make it Okay Trident is hungry and it yearns it yearns for violence and we give it to it. And we give it to the great. That's just not editorialized in the meeting before it even happens. Let's. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't we try for the trident?
Starting point is 01:30:11 OK. Thanks. Yeah. OK. So yes, 34,000 gold. And you're not getting a tip because you guys took too long. I understand. Thank you again for supporting Shay's way, yoga and more, I saw those these were Yankee candles. Oh, no, these are shanky candles
Starting point is 01:30:31 Okay, that was the only response that would have talked me out Yeah, I'm okay with I'm okay with chunky candles Yankees is actually better. Yeah, anyway, we're gonna clean up a little bit here If you want to go and like rescue those green teens and then wow We'll just have like a full session tomorrow. We'll do some yoga. I'll put out some orange Yeah, we're gonna be tired probably but if you want to do like a That's like passive yoga. We could do a tribute to the great trident. Yeah, I think it hungers for our enemies. And there'll be many of them. We hunger for mimosas.
Starting point is 01:31:07 That's true. So we'll do mimosas in the morning for hunger surveillance. So we're going to go kill whoever we need to kill, and save whoever we need to save, throw some more bodies in the lake, and we'll be back tomorrow. OK, you do that. We'll just solve all of this tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:31:23 Thank you so much. Thank you, friends. Yeah, what's there to solve? Good night. Yeah, good night. I'll walk out with my bird mascot. You see Pia Teyad and Shay like nervously wave and smile with very fake grins as you leave. They're so nice. That was really cool of them that was really cool Really good people that's the thing is that you know normally we only cost like
Starting point is 01:31:53 $400,000 to get like a couple dozen candles, but you don't get the the level of service where they're coming to your house and putting the candles up I was so I was so afraid when when she said they weren't Yankee candles, that they were gonna be some off-brands. I know, I know, I know, I know. They're shiny candles. And then they were shiny candles. They're shiny candles. She was like, buti Yankee.
Starting point is 01:32:12 Yes, yes. It's so good to shop local. Yeah, that's shopping local. I love shopping local. All right, I down a water walking boat and I just began carelessly walking over the water. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely want to use the speedboat. Yeah. I'm walking with an a trance look on my face, or mostly covered with the bird
Starting point is 01:32:36 mask, as haunting orchestral music plays towards the trident. This was such purpose in your eyes. Okay, so, ginger walking,ins, you're walking. Are y'all taking the speedboat? Yeah, I want the Bezos boat. Yeah, I kind of want to, yeah. Fantastic. Mariah Carey and the Honey Music video. I'm still playing on the plane, okay? on the plane, okay? So, Jins, you set out walking, Niaq, Onyx, Keech and you all board up in the boat along the fringe of the bay. I'm laughing at us driving next to you.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Just walking and trance towards the trident. All of this is made out of fits. You're hunger, don't you? You're perfect. Along the coast of the bay, you see bow jangles galloping proudly with Obsidian riding atop him. Wow. Zaird going on an adventure.
Starting point is 01:33:42 It's up to be sure. Ah! Zikala, the hero. Ah! Where do the obsidian get this or? Ah! So you watch this secondary adventure unfold and you head across the bay towards the swamp where the green teens were rumored to have been taken.
Starting point is 01:34:06 And as you do, the light of the trident pulses angrier than before with a red tinge to the purple light now. You see droves of fish jumping over it. They all kind of have like a weird grin on their face now. Happy fish. But this you're happy. Happy fish. Happy fish. Take a closer look at the weather. Happy fish. But this you're happy. It's a type of better one, sir. For the mother, Trident.
Starting point is 01:34:28 She's hungry. She's angry. Okay, Jens, I feel like you're stealing my weapon now. Am I going to have to fight you for as it's right then? No one possesses the Trident. Trident possesses itself. Okay, I will fight. So, as you get closer to the center of the bay, where you see the Trident, a strange sight unfolds.
Starting point is 01:34:48 The color, once again, drains from the world. The fish stop jumping, and all of the purples and yellows of the flowers become this like muted, static gray. And then suddenly you hear that strange, warbling, static noise again. It almost sounds like a radio that's been plunged underwater. And then a small, hunched figure appears before you holding a trident. You see she's translucent and made of this weird, static energy. And then she lifts her hood. You see this ghostly face of a very annoyed old woman. And as you look closer, you see that she seems to be whispering something
Starting point is 01:35:33 in kind of a hushed, angry tone. And as soon as she finishes, she looks at you, shakes her head disapprovingly, then vanishes in a flash. approvingly, then vanishes in a flash. As she disappears, the radio static stops, and the color returns to the world. Beneath you, the Trident glows a pleasant purple once more, and the fish jump playfully. However, in your head, you hear a single phrase in a strange monotone voice. And anomaly detected. Investigation required. Thank you and have a regular day. And that's where we'll end our session.
Starting point is 01:36:17 What? Oh boy! What's that? Mother tried answer. What's that? Ah! Oh boy, what's that mother tried and what's that? Yeah, it is fun to be back in moonstone It's one to be strong It's so funny to just speedrun just go back and just attack everyone
Starting point is 01:36:37 Yeah, it was really fun. It is be like I'm just gonna hit him because we get why the fuck not So we'll talk more about this over on the short rest, but it's very funny to unwittingly end up kind of doing pretty similar to what the band of boobs did. Yeah. We still have killed the barbarians just in a different order. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:55 Yeah. Yeah. I'm very excited to talk about this. I'm also excited to talk about like the actual first episodes of the show, because I really listened to all of it and I will be expressing my immense apologies to Merv for my behavior. Because I was an absolute maniac and he deserves the
Starting point is 01:37:12 world for being tolerant with me. Never say that. But yeah, I'm really excited to talk about this on the short rest. If you would like to listen to that, you can go to patreon.com slash nadpa that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d Don't say it! Sorry I was about to say it. Don't say it!
Starting point is 01:37:31 But that's not my joke. Okay the mother tried and is disappointed. Damn. If you would like to follow us on social media that we may or may not use you can do so. I am at call the Murphus at CH Murph. Emily is at EA Axford and Jake Jake is at Jake Herwitz. I'm doing this a little out of order, but does anyone have anything they want to plug?
Starting point is 01:37:50 Yes, live shows. We got a new Australia tour is coming up, everybody. Correct. You can get some last minute tickets over on nadpod.com slash live. We're gonna be in Brisbane. We're gonna be in Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, and Adelaide, so check those out. Every corner of your beautiful country can't wait.
Starting point is 01:38:11 I would like to plug dumpstatt on GM binder who put together a swarm template, which I use. Oh, that's such a smart idea to give people multiple enemies, but yeah, that was great. Yeah, it's really fun. It really simplifies things just so that it didn't have to be rolling 10 different times.
Starting point is 01:38:31 Exactly. Exactly. Oh, and I almost forgot there's one more thing I want to plug. We have a Saul Bufo plushie. Yeah. That's cute. It's very cute. He's got some gold little gauntlets.
Starting point is 01:38:44 He's very plump and huggable on our Patreon. You can join our merch club and get the exclusive track jacket variant. But if you go to makeship.com slash products, slash solbufo plush or just Google solbufo plush, it's a limited time campaign. So go now and grab yours. It's very cute and I think you'll like them.
Starting point is 01:39:04 Is it Sydney approved? Yes, she has hugged it. She does like frogs, she now says F is for frogs. So like, it'll teach your kids the alphabet. How about that? So yeah, SaulBufoPluschMakeship.com. Thanks again for listening folks. I'm really excited.
Starting point is 01:39:19 We've got hopefully two more episodes of the Trinneville triplets take Moonstone coming up for you. I would play the whole campaign. Yeah, that's a speed run, everything. At some point, we would catch up and just die. And that's what the Trinaville triplets do deserve. Yeah, by age madness, we just run up and just get killed. Yeah, it's not like I refuse.
Starting point is 01:39:42 Yeah. Once again, if you would like to listen to the short rest that is going to be patreon.com slash nad pod That's in a ddp. Oh, D here we go 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1, 1 %, 1 %, 1%, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, of Elders, Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hugh C. Later, Mick Skater, Matt M. Jordan D. J. Cutter W. Feared Al. Oh, I love that. Daniel G. The J. Pod. Happy anniversary, NAD Pod from the sword, wielding wizard. Thank you. Dugin Mama, not sexual. Daniel, the Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P, Vincent W, Victor T, Boundless Boy, Hoid's friend, Justin I, Ragnar Fairet when TJ M, Traylee, The Cray, Fay, Christopher B, Damial R, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Your Secret Grandpa, Pentegon, Princess
Starting point is 01:41:39 Yar, Michael L, Jack L, Sam L, Nicholas C. who has started every single film ever made in Bahumia, currently starring in Duck Team Down Under coming to Australia. Yes, Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Great Value Gemma. Adam G. Tyler F. Nebadger. Panama James. Andrew The Druid. Horadrian Rex Daniels. The white Captain sigil Diana Day LL CeCi Lulu Hericule Poy Ro, the rabbit folk detective Timmy R. Lucas B. Raiko, It's Kevin, Calder's cold com, Hashtag, Rhyse Mike Comrades, Spread the com Rotary, Taylor B. The vengeful, one-winged angel, Cass, skateboard, Cass, Captain of the Stevens, Steven C. Mike K. Lady Taco,
Starting point is 01:42:27 Brian G. Joy T. Nara, Jake L. Nick W. Brave the Badger, S. May M. Foster, the boneless duck, William W. Aaron, the asshole ranger, Big Bad Beardow, the mad, Riot, Ryan, and the Lord of salty peaks. Anna Rama, Ultras who is now in possession of Calder's body, yes, and the Lord of Salty Peaks. Anna, Rama. Ultras who is now in possession of Calder's body, yes, that is true. Power Shiver of Bohemia, Quiver against the River of the Pea Shiver. Can't wait to see you in Adelaide, even Jake, thank you for that. Rattelaide here, I come. Jay, Dragonborn, Vincent, oh God, I'm thrumming Daniels.
Starting point is 01:43:02 Okay, the San Drayan, Ben A. John III, Dave H. Coalabair, Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfars Assistant, Izzy F. Brittany A. The Purpleist Bitch in Bahumia. Okay, Summer R. Grantare. Marky Mark the Marvelous Mining Engineer. Katzi Kelsle, Misa of House in Zunza. Ariel the occasional mermaid, Selina N.A.K.A. Valacy Raptor. B. Perky, always Pat Elle.
Starting point is 01:43:35 Sevexel, a truth at A. Lauren H. Tahlia, Ryan S. The Bone Duster, Robert Crisp. Telekitty Creations fan illustrator, insert requests, here I go. Um, I guess, uh, yeah, a little, um, a little drawing of Ultras kicking the shit out of Glenn would be fun. Ploups, Carly, a suicidal lobster, Addy-K, spam gaming, the not-so-skilled gamer, thanks Jake, you're welcome. Connor, Savage, Russell H, Christopher J. Pebblepot to the Deriders.
Starting point is 01:44:05 My first never mind we died. I'm a turtle now. Oh dear. Celil Jack M. Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Sullivan H. Trubhop Dropper, Jack H. Crapster, Champion of Crod, Skuddling, Sideways, towards tomorrow. Fandre, Garble the Moist, Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi and Jake Jake, your a Godfather baby
Starting point is 01:44:25 boundore has been born, congrats, Lila. Hooray! Vailin, Carlin C, Emily S, Harry Cox, no with a bagel of all things, everything Bego, the Eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger, Stripey, Dandy, Eric B, Marcos P, Jordan P, the occasional crit reporter. Court hopes you're having an amazing day. Court hopes you're having an amazing day. I see that very nice. Learns the balanced druid. Dayton M. Dakota J.P. Frida M.
Starting point is 01:44:55 Pagos Betrothed, self-proclaimed, Fay Prince, Tracy P. The Crick-Elf Librarian, and E. Holly Hyena, Christen Z. Leah C. Page H. Helen of Briz, Mayby, Pixel Stars, Akash Thakar, Kristen Withikay, Caljust, Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison N. Russell H.
Starting point is 01:45:15 A monk named Dillgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time. Monster Hunter, Nios, and Simon, Rolling Deathsaves in Dreamland has anyone heard his story in the shoutouts, can and elder, find him before a Nat one. Keychains Pentium 2 processor, awesome! Lorelai the Succubus and Kira her Busti Queen, Michael the Ezri Pop Idol Morgan M Stephen E, your friendly neighborhood Yant and Yonkel Andrew and Sid. John Adams, yes like the president, Meg the male carrier of Bahumia, James F. M4L, Wayfarer, now trapped in the Feywild after not
Starting point is 01:45:52 fully reading the terms and conditions of their legal settlement with mothership. Andrew B. Sir Smut, Barpo Good Barrel, Bard Barian, and Brewer Emeritus of Water, Deep, Mary B. C. Melora, D. Votie, Three Awakened Gooses, Welshlander, Garrett G, One Big Curred, Mr. D. Dana Daisy, Sean J, Ethan B. Rene, the Monster Captain, Hopped the Dancing Rabbit, Hopes Dagger, the only Dagger of Hope, Olivia the Enchanting Bard, who will be totally making money and a grand novel off the Duck Team Tales with and on the-go all the stops show. Winter's slayed, Mikaela R. Forest H-A-K-A life is like a box of Martha Togold sticky buns. Riley S. FICO, Angry Wheat, Ya Boy, Anthony who moved positions and can't listen to the podcast at work anymore.
Starting point is 01:46:39 Sorry to hear it. Josh H. Jack the Jack's jinking rogue the run with Bahumias balls. The true neutral BBEG who is saving the material plane from an apocalypse. Trogdor the Burninator Clementine T. Caleb L.S. This message has been brought to you by Ferries in support of hashtag CCC. Happy birthday, Pixie. Ponderful the pink dragon. Cantrip Dumbledore the bear wearing onesie, Barbarian with a bad back, MJ, the BFG, Drinking Tea, By the Sea, Dogs of Babel, Calvius, Silver Fang, Geno T, Mama Bell, the Silver Serpent herself, Funier, Strahmann, 18 wheels of Rubber and Steel, Dr. Talkus,
Starting point is 01:47:21 Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Bo in cats and boots in cats and boots in cats. Wiki-wiki remix boots in cats and boots in cats. Love it. Derek D. Tristan G. Cal the rabbit runt. Jazzman and fam, the surgeons behind Pendergreens, juicy new ass. Thank you for that. Alpha Fortress Alex K. Joshua P. Joshua P.S. Martin T. Alexander Mandi K. M.S. Red the reforged Warforged James Mr. Kraft, Hammy Beverly's distant cousin Daniel A. L. and Blue Drew A. K. A. Blue Drew.
Starting point is 01:47:58 Got it. Thanks everybody. That was a Hate Gum podcast. That was a headgun podcast.

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